#this took ages to upload damn

[tzthrowbacks]

tomdaya 1.0 vs. tomdaya 2.0, a thrilling saga

[roosterforme]

The Younger Kind Part 33 | Rooster x Reader

Summary: You need answers so you can move forward with Bradley. He wants to reassure you that you're everything Meredith is not. And it always feels like everyone else is trying to define your relationship for you, but you want to take control. 

Warnings: Angst, swearing, fluff, mentions of smut, and age gap (18+)

Length: 4900 words

Pairing: Single dad!Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x babysitter!female reader

Check out my masterlist for more! The Younger Kind masterlist.

Bradley felt sick. This must have been why you were clearly so uncomfortable since he got home yesterday. He could tell that something else was wrong outside of the break in at your old rental and the cut on your hand. And it was the fucking dirty video he had made with Meredith years and years ago.

God damn it.

As he rushed out of the kitchen and tried to find you, Bradley called out, "Princess!" But you didn't respond.

How irresponsible and careless of him. He hadn't watched that video since he and Meredith were living together. Sure, he'd uploaded it to his phone and watched it on a few deployments before Noah was born, but that had been it. He had deleted it from his phone, but apparently there was a backup copy. And the fact that you had seen it had him in such a vibrant state of panic, he couldn't get to you fast enough.

"Baby, where are you?" he called out, yanking his fingers through his hair. He looked in Noah's room and then continued to the bedroom that he wanted you to share with him forever. And there you were, standing with your shoulder pressed up against the bedpost that was adorned with your paper crown. You looked impossibly young and so sad, and he wasn't sure what else to say except, "Princess. I'm sorry."

You just shook your head and looked at the floor as you wrapped your arms around your chest like you were trying to protect yourself. God, you never needed to protect yourself from him anymore. He wanted to be the one to protect you from everything else, not make you worry. 

When he took a step closer, you looked up at him with tears shining in your eyes. "You told me I could go through the stuff in the attic," you whispered, rubbing your hands up and down your arms nervously. "I didn't mean to watch your personal video. I wish I hadn't. And now I feel so stupid for moving all my stuff in."

Bradley ran his palms over his face. The bedroom smelled like you. The whole house smelled like you. It was intoxicating, and he was always going to need it. "Baby, I had no idea that was in the attic. I didn't even know it was saved anywhere. It was from years ago, okay?"

"I know," you replied, wiping at your eyes and looking toward the dresser he had encouraged you to finish filling up with your stuff. "I know it's not new or anything. But... I hated it."

"I hate it, too," he replied immediately. "And I hate that it hurt you."

Then you pushed away from the bed and squared your shoulders, and it felt like you were forcing yourself to keep eye contact. "Did you keep it because you still watch it? And am I an idiot for giving you those photos? Because I don't know if I can compete in that way." The words at the end of your sentence started to fade away softly, and Bradley closed the distance between your bodies without touching you.

"I didn't keep the video intentionally, Baby," he swore, ready to drop to his knees and beg. "I don't watch it. I didn't know it still existed. Why would I keep it when I'm with you now?"

You traced his knuckles softly with your index finger and whispered, "Because she's beautiful."

"No," Bradley growled, tucking his fingers under your chin and gently guiding your gaze up to meet his. "She's been a nightmare for me. For us. That's not beautiful. She's nothing like you." Then you melted against his body, and Bradley whispered, "Nobody competes with a Princess."

He rubbed his big hands up and down your back as yours settled around his waist. "I don't even want to have to think about her," you whispered against his shirt. "But she's everywhere, like she wants to make sure she's not forgotten."

Bradley kissed your forehead. You weren't wrong. Meredith had come out of hiding as soon as he got involved with you, and she just wouldn't quit. "She's in custody now. There's no reason for us to have to think about her."

"But the USB-"

Bradley took your chin a little rough in his palm and kissed you hard, eliciting a whimper. He kissed you until both of you were breathless, and you were clinging to the front of him. Until he felt like things could get back to the way they were. "Let's destroy it."

--------------------------------

You let Bradley take you by the hand and lead you to the kitchen where he bent to pick up the USB drive from the floor near the sink. Then he reached into one of the cabinets and grabbed a cutting board.

"What are you doing?" you asked. 

"Something I would have already done if I knew it was still here."

Then both of you walked out the back door into the afternoon sun where he set the USB drive down on the cutting board on the patio. And then you watched him dig around in the shed and return with a hammer. He went right to kneeling on the patio without any hesitation, and you watched him make quick work of it. With three swings of the hammer, bits of blue plastic went flying in every direction. By the third hit, all that was left on the cutting board was some mangled wire and flattened metal. The stupid thing was obliterated, and when Bradley looked up at you, there was a smile on your face.

He tossed the hammer aside. "Come on, Baby," he said, standing and scooping you up in one smooth motion. "I want you forever, Princess. You don't have to doubt that." He kissed you softly as you wrapped your arms around his neck. "Do you believe me?"

"Yes."

He grunted as he kissed your cheek. "She's gone. She doesn't live here. She has no bearing on what we're doing."

"I know," you promised as he carried you back into the kitchen and set you on the counter. "I know, Daddy." You watched his expression soften further at your words and your touch as you pulled him closer by his shoulders. 

"She's not coming back," he whispered, placing soft kisses to your lips and face. "It's just us. And Noah. He's ours."

Ours. You wanted that. You wanted to be as much a part of this home and this family as Bradley was. As Noah was. And you knew they both wanted you here. They were your boys, and you were their Princess. You needed to accept that it could just be that easy. 

"You're making everything seem so simple," you whispered, squeezing his shoulders and biceps as his fingers kneaded into your hips and waist. 

"It is," he promised. "It's just us, and we'll figure out the rest."

"I don't want you to feel like I'm the one making it harder though. Like I'm the one taking advantage of the situation and your house and your money."

Bradley took a deep breath and planted one hand on the counter next to your thigh, his other thumb skimming along your lips. "That was what Meredith was like. Not you. You're too smart to waste money. You're too sweet to take Noah for granted. And you're too perfect to ever intentionally take advantage of someone. And it makes me want to share everything with you."

You kissed the rough pad of his thumb, and he replaced it with his perfect lips. His mouth was everywhere, and his hands were starting to roam, and you thought he mumbled something about a ring. But then your phone started ringing in the pocket of your scrub pants. 

Bradley paused with his hands on your thighs as you held up the phone. San Diego Police.

"You better answer it," he whispered, kissing your cheek and pulling his big, warm body away from yours.

"Hello?" you said a bit breathlessly. 

"It's Detective Summers. We've completed our search of your rental. Just wanted to let you know you can enter the house again and clean it up, and we'll be in touch with your landlord."

"D-Did you find anything?" you sputtered, holding the phone tight to your ear.

"No," he replied, almost monotone. "Nothing. We've got no leads and barely any evidence. I'll email you the report and call back with any updates."

Then the line went dead. "Fuck."

"What's wrong?" Bradley asked cautiously. You barely recounted the brief conversation with him before your phone was ringing again in your hand.

"It's my landlord," you said, tossing your head back. "He's going to start making a big deal about the glass again."

But you answered the call so you could hopefully just get him off your back and move on from this headache once and for all. And he wouldn't shut up about the stupid broken window. "You need to come over today so we can talk about how you're going to get this repaired. And then we can discuss an additional month of rent."

Bradley must have been able to hear your landlord clearly through the phone, he was talking that loudly. And when he took it out of your hand and pressed your phone to his own ear, you didn't stop him. 

"Right," Bradley growled, and you would have loved to see the look on the other man's face. "So what you're saying is you'd like to wrap all of this up today? Sounds great. We're on our way over."

Then he ended the call and helped you slide off the counter. "Uh oh, Daddy. I think you just made things worse for me."

Bradley scowled and said, "He shouldn't have been talking to you like that. Like any of this bullshit was your fault. Let's go. I promised I would fix everything. Let me try to fix this for you so you don't have to deal with it. You live here now."

You watched him grab his checkbook before he took your hand in his and led you outside.

----------------------------

Bradley was pissed off. You and he were finally getting somewhere talking in the kitchen. You were listening to him, he knew you were. He was in way over his head with you, happily. He would do anything to make your day easier, gladly. You always did the same thing for him and Noah. But he didn't appreciate how nobody else seemed to want to get off your back.

He was holding your hand, maybe a little tighter than was comfortable for you, while he drove to your rental house. He loosened his grip a little bit and asked, "Has your landlord always been a prick?"

You just shrugged and ran your thumb along the side of his hand. "Kind of. But definitely worse since I told him about the glass."

"Needs an attitude adjustment," he grunted, passing Penny's house and pulling up to the curb in front of the rental. "Is that him?" he asked, nodding toward the man standing on the porch with his hands on his hips. 

"Yeah, that's Sam," you confirmed, and Bradley leaned over to give you a quick kiss.

"Let's get this sorted out so we can go get Noah."

You climbed out of the Bronco, and Bradley rushed around the front end until he was at your side. He was pleased to note that Sam's eyes went a little wider as Bradley marched up the sidewalk with his arm wrapped around you. He was also pleased that you seemed completely relaxed next to him now. 

Sam planted one hand on his hip and scratched his bald head. "Listen, missy. Let's get this sorted out with a rent payment so I can get my new tenant in here." Bradley had to fight back a smirk, because he sounded nowhere near as aggressive as he had over the phone. 

"I just don't understand why you expect me to pay another month of rent. This was literally a crime scene, Sam," you said. "I didn't break the window myself."

He pursed his lips at you. "That's debatable, since the police said there was no way to know who broke it. And honestly, with the things kids get up to nowadays-"

"I'm sorry," Bradley said, cutting him off, but he wasn't actually sorry at all. "Sam? Is that your name? Sam, she's not a kid. She's an adult. Start treating her like one."

He opened his mouth and snapped it shut again before finally asking, "Who are you, exactly?"

Bradley wrapped his arm a little tighter around you as he said, "My name is Bradley. But you can call me Lieutenant Bradshaw. Just wanted to let you know that I already talked to my lawyer, and she doesn't owe you another month of rent."

Sam's eyes bugged out. "Your lawyer?"

"Yes," Bradley barked. "Pay attention. There will be no additional rent payment. Got it?"

"Y-Yes," he stuttered. "Fine. But she still owes me four hundred dollars for the broken panel of glass."

Bradley pinched the bridge of his nose before he turned to you and kissed you. You looked up at him with surprised eyes as he said, "Do you still need anything else from inside, Princess?"

"No. Nothing."

"Great." Then he left your side and marched over to Sam, glaring at him as he opened the door. Bradley's shoes crunched on the broken glass and he looked around the floor inside the front door. "This looks like about a hundred dollars in damages to me."

Sam looked scandalized. "No way. It's four hundred."

Bradley glanced at you out on the front step before he leaned in closer to Sam. "If you make me get my lawyer on the phone, I'm sure she would be delighted to explain to you why your departing tenant actually owes you no money at all. And we can get the San Diego police department on the phone as well just for some added clarification. Tenants are responsible for damages they cause to the property. That does not apply here. Understand."

When Sam didn't say anything, Bradley pulled his checkbook and pen out of his pocket and asked the man how to spell his name. "Here's one hundred bucks, because I've been in an exceptionally good mood this afternoon with my girlfriend. You really caught me at a moment where I'm feeling generous. Now that's going to be it. Sound good?"

Sam met his eyes, and Bradley really thought he was going to try to disagree with him. "That's fine," came his eventual response, to which Bradley smiled smugly. 

"And why don't you just go ahead and delete her number out of your phone. Go ahead. Do it now, while I watch," Bradley encouraged like he was talking to a very dim person. "No reason to keep calling and bugging her when you have a new tenant moving in, right?"

"Sure," Sam murmured, and Bradley watched as he deleted your name and phone number. 

"Now, one last thing. You stressed my girlfriend out for no good reason. So I'm going to need you to apologize to her."

Sam's gaze was steely, but he turned toward you anyway. "Sorry." It was the saddest excuse for an apology that Bradley had ever heard, but he nodded at the man regardless. 

"Great. Won't be talking to you," Bradley told him, and then he reached out for your hand. "We should go get Noah before we're late," he said.

"Yes, Daddy," you gasped, and Bradley's eyes snapped up to meet yours. He paused halfway to the Bronco and slid his hand around your hip. Your eyes were filled with need as you very slowly pressed your body tight against his. 

"Princess," he grunted. 

"That was so hot," you moaned softly, and Bradley's eyebrows shot up. "I don't even know if what you said about rent and Tracy and the police is actually true or not, but my god, Bradley... so.... hot." You pressed up on your toes to kiss him.

"I'm not sure if it's true either, but I was prepared to call Tracy," he told you, gently guiding you along to the Bronco.

"Well Sam certainly believed you."

"Yeah, well I was feeling a little aggressive. I don't understand where he gets off talking to you like that. Probably talks to all women that way. You think my mom would have let me talk like that when I was younger? You think Nat would let me know? Jesus, he's lucky I didn't kick his ass."

Bradley had the door open and you were halfway inside when you leaned in and kissed him, tugging him closer by his hair. "I'm really turned on."

"Fuck," he grunted as he heard Sam start his own car and pull away. It was probably the combination of clearing the air about the video and making sure he reiterated that he was in this thing with you forever. And it probably didn't hurt that he took care of your landlord, too. Because Bradley was turned on as well. 

Your kisses felt like the heated ones he knew by heart. The ones he thought about while he was looking at his collection of polaroids. But when you moaned his name against his lips and stroked him through his jeans, he pulled away. "Baby. Later, okay? Later."

"Okay," you said breathlessly, still reaching for him. 

--------------------------

You sat in the Bronco on the way to get Noah with your hands tucked under your thighs. Bradley was stealing glances at you at every stoplight, and you were doing the same. 

"Princess," he grunted, turning to face forward as a light turned green. 

But you couldn't help it. You felt a million times better than you had this morning. If the video with Meredith was never kept intentionally, then you could get past it. And if Bradley was willing to shield you and Noah with his life, then you could stop questioning him about everything else. It was like the floodgates of your apprehension finally opened up, and you wanted everything with him again. His time, attention, love and care. The fun and the physical intimacy. 

When he parked at the daycare, you crawled across the seat in your ridiculously wrinkly scrubs, and he welcomed you onto his lap. You wrapped your arms around his neck and said, "Thank you for today."

He kissed your cheek and asked, "What did I do?"

"Everything," you told him right away. "You made me feel comfortable with you paying Tracy. And you didn't get mad that I was upset about that video. And then you had a real conversation with me about us. And you never let anyone treat me like a child. I love you."

"I love you, too," he promised, and you kissed him before you reached for his door handle.

You still weren't sure what he had been expecting last night, but he didn't seem annoyed with you one bit. He never did. But you wanted to make it clear anyway. "And later, after Noah goes to bed, I want to have sex with you."

He stopped you from climbing out of his door with his big hands at your waist. "Only if that's what you want. The last few weeks were rough for you. For both of us. We don't have to rush getting back into that, even if you and I are turned on right now, okay?"

You met his eyes and shook your head slowly as the image of Greyson popped into your mind. "You're perfect," you told him, and then the two of you walked inside to get Noah. Casey was still there, just like earlier this morning, and you felt smug as Bradley kept his left arm draped over your shoulders while he signed Noah out for the day. 

Then he bundled you up in his arms with his lips and mustache pressed to your temple for all the world to see while Casey turned away with an eye roll and went to get Noah. 

"Daddy! Princess!" he called, carrying some new artwork in his hand as he bounded toward you both. You didn't think you'd ever get tired of watching the way Bradley effortlessly scooped his son up into his arms and held him so you could get a hug and a kiss from Noah. 

"Did you have a good day?" you asked brushing your thumb along his cheek while he handed you a painting of a dinosaur. 

"Yeah. I'm hungry."

"Oh," you said, looking at the two of them. "Today was a little crazy, and I didn't plan dinner."

"Let's get pizza," Bradley replied easily, barely saying goodbye to Casey as she hovered near the desk and called out to him.

You were smiling as you buckled Noah in while Bradley called in the order, and then the three of you went to pick it up. He ordered from the pizzeria on the same block as his preferred coffee place, and when you moaned, "I love when you bring me coffee from that shop," he chuckled as he parked.

"That's why I ordered the pizza from this location. Figured nobody was bringing you French vanilla coffee on a regular basis while I was away." Then he paused and raised one eyebrow. "Nobody else was spoiling you with overpriced luxury coffee drinks, right?" he asked playfully.

"Nobody," you confirmed. "They might write my actual name on the cup if they tried. And I would hate that."

Bradley carried Noah inside and you hooked your fingers through his belt loop as you waited in line. "No," Bradley mused. "That would be absolutely unfit for a Princess." 

When the drinks were ready, the barista slid them toward Bradley along with a marker, and he handed Noah to you. Then you watched him write Princess on your cup. 

"Am I still allowed to be the Knight?" he rasped softly, looking up at you for permission. When you nodded, he jotted that down on his own coffee cup. But before he could hand the marker back, the barista slid another cup across the counter.

"Something sweet for the little guy. He's so cute!" she said with a smile at Noah. Bradley shoved five dollars into the tip container before writing Prince Noah on the small cup filled with whipped cream and a plastic spoon. 

He had it all over his face as you held him while Bradley opened the door to the pizza shop, and then you watched your boyfriend juggle a pizza box, a container of salad and two coffees on the way back to the Bronco. 

"You're very coordinated for someone so old," you told him softly, and Bradley carried you around to the other door while you squealed with delight.

"The slander," he growled playfully. "I won't tolerate it."

"What do you plan to do about it?" you asked, cupping his handsome face in both hands as you kissed him. 

"I'll kiss you until you learn to respect your elders."

You laughed with your head tossed back as he kissed your neck. "I think it's great that you don't know the difference between a punishment and a reward. You must have forgotten in your old age."

He groaned and said, "You're just making it worse for yourself for later, Baby."

"Excellent."

---------------------------------

Bradley watched you cut up a slice of pizza for Noah while he liberally dumped the dressing onto the salad and mixed it up. You seemed more relaxed now. He did too. The destroyed USB drive and the open conversation and all the little touches and kisses made today almost perfect. Sure, there had been the details about Meredith and your landlord to contend with, but Bradley would do that shit any day as long as you were here. 

"It's still pretty hot, Noah," you said, putting the plate in front of him. 

Yes, you should absolutely stay here forever. The desire to have another child with you was always strong for Bradley, but it got so much more intense when you took care of Noah. He wanted to talk to you about it, but today already felt overloaded with feelings. So he would wait.

"This is good," you said in between bites of salad. "I like this dressing," you told him with a grin. 

Bradley looked back and forth between you and Noah. Your palm was still covered in a bandage, and he knew you were tired based on the way you'd slept so soundly on him last night. The deployment had been a lot for you, but of course you did everything just right. Of course Noah was happier than ever and asking if he could call you his mom.

"We should take a vacation," Bradley said absentmindedly. 

"We should?" you asked as your eyes met his. "Where?"

He smiled as Noah asked for more pizza. "I have some ideas. We can talk about it later."

You pressed your lips together. "I thought we were going to do other things later?"

Bradley laughed. "With age comes experience, Princess. And I'm pretty good at multitasking as long as nobody asks me to cook anything."

"Multitasking?" you asked, eyes wide as Bradley got more pizza ready for Noah.

"Yeah," he replied. "You want me to show you later?"

You hid your smile behind a slice of pizza. "Sure do."

Bradley let you and Noah off the hook after dinner, and he cleaned up the kitchen, not that there was much to do. Then he joined you outside on the driveway where you'd drawn a gigantic crown with purple sidewalk chalk in front of your car. While you helped Noah color a rainbow dinosaur, Bradley took the time to write Daddy loves Princess in huge lettering, and when he was done, you rewarded him with a kiss. 

"You boys play while I take a shower?" you asked, wiping orange chalk on your scrubs. 

"Of course. Or take a bath if you want to. Go relax."

He wasn't sure what you ended up doing, but you were in the shower or bath for a long time. Bradley got Noah ready for bed after he put the chalk away, and when you walked into the bedroom wrapped up in a towel, he was getting himself undressed. 

You took a deep breath and blurted out, "Just one more thing from our conversation earlier? About that video?"

"Of course," he said, his hands frozen at the hem of his undershirt, not sure what to expect.

You ran your fingers along the bedpost and said, "I know I'm here now and she's not. And I know there's nothing I can do with you that you haven't already done before... but is there any way we can buy a new bed? That's only ever going to be ours?"

Bradley's heart was pounding. "That sounds like a commitment? You planning on staying forever?"

"Yes, Daddy," you whispered with a smile.

He tugged his shirt off and told you, "Pick out a new bed. Whatever you want."

Your fingers grazed your purple crown as you smirked and asked, "Now why don't you show me some of your multitasking?"

He smirked. "Sure you can handle it?" he asked, tossing his undershirt into the hamper. Did anything feel as good as the way you joked around with him? You were grinning nonstop when he wrapped his arms around you, holding you and the damp towel against him. 

"Yeah, I can handle it."

"You say that now..." he replied softly, unwrapping the towel and letting his hands skim along your soft skin. "God, I missed you when I was gone." He watched you preen for him, and it was like night and day how much better you obviously felt since this morning. He pressed his lips to your ear and whispered, "When something's bothering you, I want you to tell me right away from now on."

The soft nod of your head had him tossing the towel aside and holding you against him as you shivered in the cool air. "Yes, Daddy."

He grunted and said, "You know I'll always take care of you."

Your eyes were so needy as they met his, and he watched your head tip slowly back as his thumb stroked your nipple to a hard peak. He worked you up slowly, always coaxing your gaze back to his as he spoke in a very matter of fact voice. 

"Now, let's talk about this little family vacation. I think we could all use a break, yeah?"

"Yeah," you moaned.

"Eyes on me, Princess. There's a lake house that Mav and Penny mentioned wanting to take a trip up to, and there are a lot of extra bedrooms. Do you want me to get more information about that?" His hand was sliding down toward your pussy now, and he chuckled as you tried to rub yourself against his fingers. "Well? Do you?"

"Yes!" you gasped, grabbing at his shoulders. "Whatever you want."

"Whatever I want?" he murmured, grinning as he slid one finger along your wet slit.

"Mmhmm," you hummed, eyes half lidded as he teased you. 

While he figured he could get you to agree to almost anything, he knew exactly what he wanted. And tonight was too perfect to waste on anything except the sweetest words and just the right touches. "I want to take my family away for a few days. I want to spoil the hell out of you."

You wrapped your arms around his neck and moaned, "Yes," while you pulled him toward the bed. You were perfect, easing yourself back on the pillows, naked and needy as he took his jeans off. 

When he eased his body on top of yours, he let you reach for him first and pull him closer where you wanted him. "Let me spoil you every day? Show you how good I can be? Make you never want to leave?"

You combed your fingers back through his hair as you looked up at him. "I'm not going anywhere."

-------------------------------

Daddy is fixing it. And Daddy is going to spoil his family. Hope you enjoy your babysitter story @beyondthesefourwalls and thank you @mak-32

PART 34

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[satorubi]

𝐓𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐄𝐒𝐓 𝐑𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐆𝐄 - toji fushiguro

· ₊ ⊹ SYNOPSIS — toji knows just how to get back at your ex.

「❀」 pairing : toji fushiguro x black fem! reader

「❀」 content warning : minors do not interact ! dad’s bestfriend toji, age gap ꒰ toji is forty and reader is in her late twenties ꒱ missionary, fingering, use of the word bitch - during sex - just once, use of pet names such as ꒰ sweetheart, pretty, slut ꒱

「❀」 word count : 3.6K whoop whoop !!

「❀」 author’s note : hiii !!! here’s me re-uploading this edited version of tastiest revenge - apart of my friendship is magic series - bc tumblr took it down the first time :/ i wanted to put out the gojo fic first but due to school starting, i realized how busy i’ve become :0 please enjoy & interactions n reblogs are always loved <33

you were taken aback when toji answered your call. not only was the time 10:56 PM, but it was also the middle of the week. you ought to been fast asleep in your apartment by now, getting a good night's rest for whatever the world had in store for you tomorrow. but, alas, you were slouching on toji fushiguro's porch, your clothes drenched from the light rain and your makeup smeared from all the tears you'd let fall down your pretty face.

toji stands up from his recliner and looks around before hurriedly opening the door. his heart nearly bursts from your change in vigor. the hesitant, kindhearted disposition you always possessed seems to have been lost just about now; you have a slight pout on your face and stare up at him with imploring eyes.

he swiftly draws you into the warmth of his chest and shut the door behind him without you having to speak another word. his contact causes your body to tremble, and the rumble from his chest doesn't do you credit. all you could hear was him repeatedly mumbling phrases like ‘speak to me’ and ‘i’m right here.’

he allows you a brief minute to collect your thoughts as your nose started to run due to all the sniffling you'd been doing. as he goes into the kitchen, you take a seat on one of the three cushions, letting your head rest against the seat. toji could be seen pouring tea into a lovely glass mug out of the corner of your tearful eyes.

“you wanna’ tell me what brings you here?” he asks, settling into the couch and leaving you both with just enough space. you were completely silent. that bubbly, talkative spirit you usually had was much more comforting compared to the silence he was experiencing right now. you looked completely drained— almost as if someone had completely stripped you from your joy.

“im sorry, toji. i didn’t mean to impose l-like this,” you utter and he chuckles. he gathers the remote in his hand and turns the tv down, figuring you were ready to vent.

“it’s not a bother at all, yn. y’know that.”

you weakly smile, taking a sip of the warm liquid given to you. a deep sigh leaves your lips, “he cheated. like.. a lot.”

before you finished speaking, you could see toji clench his jaw. your former boyfriend, or ‘a fucking bastard,’ as toji used to describe him, was a dumbass. toji wasn't surprised when you discussed this matter, given that the kid was well known for his horrible reputation with the ladies at your uni. since the minute he shook his hand at your birthday all those months ago, he was able to tell that the youngster was a jackass.

the son of a bitch was disrespectful when toji first met him. he spoke of you as if you were merely an item on his arm or a tool at his disposal. he was a real asshole and a heartbreaker; he wasn't your typical old bum of a man, and toji could read him from a mile away.

the kid wore a smug look on his face, only a look of someone without pure intentions would have. he was playing you the entire time and it was easy to see from the eyes of someone who was once a player his damn self.

you see, toji was irritated by the notion that someone could be so foolish as to lose a woman like you. someone who was so understanding, determined to get what she wanted, clever, and humorous in response to everything said to her.

blind. he had to be blind is all.

“a video was posted of him today. he was kissing another girl at some party,” yet another stray tear fell from the brim of your eye and there toji was to wipe it away, “i’m such an idiot.”

no you aren’t.

“nah, he’s a dumbass, and i’ll be damned if i have to sit here and watch you cry over something that isn’t your fault.”

you take a tiny pause in an effort to contain the tears that were on the verge of escaping. of course, none of this was your fault, but for some reason, you felt that you had to bear some responsibility. you made a foolish decision by disobeying all the guidance you had been given, and as a result, you are again stuck with the consequences. given that your father and toji had warned you about the man from the start, you were surprised that he had the strength to even talk to you about it.

“i just- i just should’ve listened to you, that’s all.”

toji sighs, grabbing ahold of your hands and squeezing them gently, “it’s a bad time to say i told you so, so i’m just gonna’ say i’m glad that you’ve come to your senses. he was a dickhead.”

toji noticed you smiling for the first time tonight, so his clumsy joke must have succeeded. genuinely. after your brief burst of laughter, you kept your gaze fixed on toji’s flatscreen without saying a word. the house's four walls reverberated with the faint sound of a local broadcaster's voice as the two of you sat in quiet comfort.

he hopes he won't have to be the one to break the news by asking, “does your father know?” he despised doing things behind his back, but if you wanted him to, he could keep a secret. you admired that you could talk to toji about nearly anything, which was one of his best qualities. he wasn't patronizing or disciplining like your dad.

yes, you adored your old man dearly, but there are instances when hearing someone else's point of view than that of a parent can be quite beneficial. toji. would undoubtedly advise you of right and wrong, but he would never make you feel bad about yourself.

we’re human beings and we all make our fair share of mistakes.

by this time, you were no longer sobbing and you were getting a little bit closer to the man. his side profile is followed by your suckling eyes as you savor his sensitive features. even though you've known toji since you were in your early twenties, you've always thought he was gorgeous, but time has been kind to him. as excellent wine ages, so was he. hell, he probably tasted as delicious as he appeared—

toji starts, somewhat unexpectedly, “y'know, for what it's worth, i think you're an amazing woman." he fumbles with the silver chain dangling from his chest before saying, “you’re pretty, you're smart, and you make a mean pho.”

pretty. he called you pretty.

toji’s solemn face prompts you to hastily cover your smile as he adds, “you didn't deserve to be treated that way- and i hope you know that.” you could feel a hand gently caressing your arm. his calluses brushed against your skin as he held it in a warm, rough manner. the gesture almost made you want to pant like a bitch in the heat, even if you had no idea why or how.

he murmurs, “i don't ever wanna' see you cry like that again,” as his dark irises finally contact yours and you two exchange a soft look. unknown to you at the time, something was causing you to approach a little bit more closely than you had intended. you long for a kiss as your gaze moves from his lips to his eyes and back again.

as you prepare to make what would likely be one of your biggest mistakes yet, you close your eyes. you decrease the distance between you two to just a few inches by placing your lips on his. toji ought to have pushed you away at the first moment, but he was driven to submit. the way your mouth felt against his was just so effortlessly natural.

perhaps the novelty of being alone or the warmth of his body against yours is responsible for you feeling this way right now, but all you want is to continue feeling him like this forever.

toji grabs the nape of your neck while you moan into the kiss, luring you in. you take the initiative to straddle his lap as you start to feel a pool between your thighs, your covered pussy pressing on his crotch as you exchanged saliva.

to your surprise, toji pulls away when you ask for more by licking his bottom lip. even before returning to reality, you managed to feel the remorse beginning to rise in your stomach.

“m’ sorry. i don’t- i don’t know what i was thinking,” you mumble, quickly climbing off of his lap and back into your previous position. “i’m sorry. fuck- i’m sorry. i shouldn’t- we shouldn’t-“ you go on, but all that came out of your apology was a weak, anxious whine. toji simply sits there, likely attempting to process what just happened.

you were scared, but you were also humiliated. toji was not only your father's closest friend, but also his business partner. this could endanger his friendships, family, and profession.

you can't bring yourself to say anything else. you start to gather your things and get ready to go to the door, but just as you stand up, a hand delicately grabs hold of your wrist.

“you want me?”

yes.

“toji- i didn’t mean to-“

“yes or no?”

as you swallow, your chest rises and falls from the kiss's delirium. toji manspreads while keeping his hands on his lap and waiting for your response, tapping his foot on floor. he did have an issue with staring. his eyes gave off the impression that they would cut straight through you.

you say, "y-yes," but it sounds more like a moan. when toji hears this, he gets up from his chair and approaches you slowly. his hands were in the pockets of his gray sweats, and he had a smirk on his face. he continues moving until he is directly in front of you, his shirt showing his hardened nipples.

“say it with your chest, yn. did you not just kiss me? or was i imagining things?”

his taunting tone of voice not only annoyed you, but it turned you on too. he tilts his head to the side and looks you up and down, eyes following your curves, “toji, i want you.”

that was all he needed until it was his turn to attack your mouth with pecks. pecks turned into drawn out kisses and those eventually escalated to biting and sucking on one another’s lips. your noses chafed together as toji groans into your mouth. while your tongues danced to the rhythm of desire, toji’s hand came between your pants and the waistband of your pink panties. he shoves his palm inside the lousy fabric to cup your cunt in his hand.

he flicks his middle finger at your folds as you whimper, "want more, please." he can feel your lust on the tip of his knuckle. “i need you,” your nails skim the happy trail under his shirt, causing toji to grunt. the poor guy had no idea how much power you had over him.

“are you gonna’ regret it?” you ask, and yes, it was blunt of you, but you wondered if he was truly aware of the consequences of this action. you had to think of it from his perspective too.

toji was currently obtaining a happy life. he lived a peaceful existence with just him and his son and had a profession that was more than well compensated, but you? you were a grown woman—twenty eight, to be precise—and although you may have acted impulsively, it may have been just what you wanted. but want eventually turns to greed, and you’d hate to do damage to his conscious over your behavior.

“why would i regret you?”

you wanted to spend the evening lusting over his wonderful words— hearing him tell you the sweetest things, but no matter how sincere and charming his question was, your thoughts were elsewhere.

toji and you each had the ability to choose your own paths. everything you've done up to this point has been deemed inappropriate, and even if he were to stuff you full of his cock, it wouldn't matter. this was already out of line as is.

you make the decision to take matters into your own hands and carry on the passionate makeout session by encircling his neck with your arms. you can feel toji's hands pinching your ass cheeks as he begins to cup them to enfold you in his arms. he sits down on the sofa with you still in his grasp, allowing you to straddle his lap as before.

the hard cock sitting pretty in his sweats did nothing but rub up against you. as much as you wanted to take it slow, you couldn’t suppress the urge to let him have his way with you.

“‘ima fuck you so good, princess. so much better than he ever has,” he utters. you lift your hips up to give him room to finally take his aching cock out of his sweats. while doing so, he doesn’t dare take his eyes off of you.

"look at what you do to me, love," to put it mildly, you were in wonder as he grabbed hold of your chin and lowered your head between you both. first the middle, then the base was displayed. the thin pubic hairs that were still attached to his skin were somewhat cut, lying flat against his shaft as the tip of him flashed a brilliant pink.

as his cock stood up, toji flexed his lower abdomen to move it a little. each time he did this, his cock tapped against your belly, creating a pat.

“big huh? it’ll fit, don’t worry,” he ends his sentence with a wink and grasps on to your ass cheeks again, this time, parting them slowly. as you lift up, his cock aligns with your hole, leaking and eager for some attention.

“please be careful. it’s been a while,” you mumble. you turn to look away but he only comforts you, “i will. i promise.”

as toji entered you, your pussy revealed how horny you truly were. your sopping cunt slobbered around him inch by inch, little by little. your juices had covered his cock and made it easier for your walls to expand, adjusting to his size.

the burn causes your mouth to hiss. feeling him wriggle his way in like this made you feel like a virgin all over again. he had the kind of dick you had to mentally prepare yourself for; the kind that, after only two or more minutes, would have you crying and trembling in his hands.

“focus, yn. just focus on us, for right now.” he didn’t have to tell you twice. how could you not focus on just this? toji had your head spinning and your insides bubbling like never before. it’d be hard to think of anything or anyone else other than him, “you’re so deep- shit!” mushing your ass in his hands, he lifts you up and down his cock, making you feel each and every bit of him. toji bites back a moan when you start to become more comfortable— hips moving with his and your ass melting in his palms.

arms incoherently wrap around toji’s neck as he digs deep, moaning into your ear, “you don’t understand how good you feel. can i go faster? wanna’ make you cum all over my lap like the good girl i know you are.” you practically scream yes and immediately after, you hear a clapping sound.

your ass slamming against toji’s thighs was the cause of the ruckus, you realize as you turn to face the source of the noise. as you watch toji’s cock slip in and out of your pussy, he raises his head to stare at the side of your face, getting excited at how hard you clenched down in him as you watched him fuck you vigorously.

“look at how good you’re doing. takin’ that dick like it’s yours. you look so pretty like this.”

his encouraging words appeared to have given you self-assurance. using both of your forces to fill yourself, you start to slam down on him. you felt as though you were handling a lot at once, but you hardly cared enough to flee. god, did it feel wonderful to be taking dick like a pro.

“ooo- it's stretching me, toji! feels so fuckin’ good. i love it so much.” one thing toji picked up from this was how much of a screamer you were. every thrust ended with another high-pitched moan grumbling from your chest.

“you’re a loud lil’ thing, aren’t you? hope the neighbors don’t mind too much, but they’ll understand, right? i’m fuckin’ you so well they’ll have no choice but to understand.”

it was so easy for him to utter such derogatory phrases knowing the conditions his life would be in after— but he felt like he was compelled to. he loved the sensation of listening to your pussy becoming wetter with each passing stroke. incredibly responsive— his favorite.

his thoughts began to flow as a result of your hands grabbing at his shoulders. you were so desperate that you were delighted to accept whatever he was putting down, “i can’t believe mr. ln’s daughter is such a dirty little bitch. how do you think he’d feel knowin’ i’m ruining you like this, hm?”

that was when you came. something about the secrecy just made you all the more ablazed. although this might’ve been just a temporary feeling, you clamored for more— hollering his name and the curses that trailed behind it.

“m’ cumming! m’ cumming- fuck me, toji!”

he laughs, “how good is it, slut? tell me, how’s it feel?”

you could barely produce a single sound. you could only hold your mouth ajar and let out broken whines. your body was drowning in a sheen coat of sweat and your pussy was a bit sore, but you wanted to cum again.

“it feels a-amazingh,” you babble, unable to even utter the pronunciation of your words as he continues to poke at your g-spot. he was fucking you through it, talking you through it, and pulling you right into his grasp to swallow your whines with his mouth.

after he wrung out the last of your juices, he quickly lifts you up and places you on your back. he could now see just how pretty your pussy truly was. two plumped folds sitting on either side of a puffy clit that was in need of some sucking and a cute hole that ached for good dick.

a dream. a dream indeed.

toji wasted no time slipping it in, feeling your walls comfort his cock like a warm hug. every stroke was tender, but he was so slutty. the chain dangling from his neck beamed in your face and out of instinct, you tug on it a little to pull him down. taking a second to indulge in his features. he was so fucking sexy, especially like this— jet black hair sticking to his forehead, muscle tee drenched in sweat, and his small, hidden whines slipping in every now and then. you couldn’t believe you hadn’t done this sooner.

“i-i love this. love your dick so much- makes m-me feel so happy, toji.” now it was your turn to make your words dig deep, bringing him to the checkpoint with just a few praises.

“don’t say shit like that- fuck.”

you bring your hands to his face to cup his cheeks. you gently press your forehead against his and continue whispering sweet nothings against his lips.

“i can’t believe you’re fucking me like this— like you’ve wanted me for so long. you must love this pussy, huh? love when i take you like this?”

you take note of his sudden shudder, his strokes slowly becoming harder as his breath hitches near your ear, “yn, you better fuckin’ stop.”

“i can’t help it, toji. you just fuck me so much better,” you gasp and reached your arms around his neck, burying your head in his neck. you clench around him, and toji nearly loses it. the knot was finally beginning to unravel, his stomach was fluttering, and he was a bit tired, but he was so close— and you were too, again.

“where do you want me, sweet girl? i’m gonna’ to cum,” he asks, and you answer with a stream of yeses and ‘inside inside’. on command, you feel the wave of toji’s cum filling you full. your pussy wet him up with yet another orgasm and you practically collapse.

toji continues to fuck you through your climax, as well as his own. he was being nothing but dirty, yet a hint of weet. whispering things like ‘good girl’ and ‘i’m so proud of you’ over and over. your head was empty and so was your energy scale. you wanted nothing more than a nice soak in a warm bath to attend to your sore figure.

toji pulls out of you, leaving a airy noise being him when he does. his dick was coated in white, and he was still hard as you were wet, but you were both far too exhausted to give it another go.

he sees some of his cum dripping from your pussy and scoops it onto his index finger. lifting that same hand to your mouth, your lips immediately part to taste the mess the two of you made, “revenge tastes sweet doesn’t it?” he asks as you suck on his fingers until completely clean, letting out a moan while doing so.

as he stands to his full height, he stares down at your limp limbs and shakes his head in disbelief, “i didn’t kill ya’ did i?” he breathlessly laughs. you weakly smile and flip him off as he heads down the hall.

eventually toji returns, watching quietly as your lashes kiss your cheeks with exhaustion. still under a trance, he takes a towel he’d gotten from the bathroom to smooth your back and thighs, making sure to get between them as well. as he finishes, you could feel a delicate kiss being planted behind your ear.

his act as a caretaker drove you into a deep sleep, and he was left to reflect on what took place night. he might be jobless, and friendless in morning, but for right now, he’d rather fall asleep to the sound of your breaths as you lay your head on his chest— dreaming of the life you deserve.

©️ SATORUBI 2023 please do not copy, repost as your own, or translate any of my work without my knowledge <33

[mspaesthetic]

Tidbit: The “Posterization” Effect of Panels Due to the Consequences of GIF Color Quantization (and Increased Contrast (And Also The Tangential Matter of Dithering))

There’s this misconception that the color banding and patterned dithering found in panels is an entirely deliberate, calculated effect Hussie manipulated the image into looking with some specific filter, but this isn’t the case, exactly. It wasn’t so much a conscious decision he took but rather an unavoidable consequence of the medium he partook in: digital art in an age where bandwidth and storage was at a premium.

Not to delve too deeply into the history and technicalities of it, but the long and the short of it is back in the early nineties to late aughts (and even a bit further into the 10s), transferring and storing data over the web was not as fast, plentiful, and affordable as it is now. Filesize was a much more important consideration than the fidelity of an image when displaying it on the web. Especially so when you’re a hobbyist on a budget and paying for your own webhosting, or using a free service with a modest upload limit (even per file!). Besides, what good would it be to post your images online if it takes ages to load them over people's dial-up Internet? Don't even get me STARTED on the meager memory and power the average iGPU had to work with, too.

The original comic strip's resolution was a little more than halved and saved as a GIF rather than a large PNG. That's about an 82.13% reduction in filesize!

So in the early days it was very common for people to take their scans, photographs, and digital drawings and scale them down and publish them as smaller lossily compressed JPEGs or lossless GIFs, the latter of which came at the cost of color range. But it had a wider range of browser support and the feature to be used for animations compared to its successor format, PNG ("PNG's not GIF").

You'd've been hard-pressed to find Hussie use any PNGs himself then. In fact, I think literally the only times he's ever personally employed them and not delegate the artwork to a member of the art team were some of the tiny shrunken down text of a character talking far in the distance and a few select little icons.

PNGs support semi-transparency unlike GIFs, which is why Hussie used them to preserve the anti-aliasing on the text without having to add an opaque background color.

While PNGs can utilize over 16 million colors in a single image, GIFs have a hard limit of 256 colors per frame. For reference, this small image alone has 604 colors:

For those who can't do the math, 256 is a pretty damn small number.

Smaller still were the palettes in a great deal of MSPA's panels early on in its run. Amazingly, a GIF such as this only uses 7 colors (8 if you count the alpha (which it is)).

Not that they were always strictly so low; occasionally some in the later acts of Homestuck had pretty high counts. This panel uses all 256 spots available, in fact.

If he had lowered the number any smaller, the quality would have been god-awful.

To the untrained eye, these bands of color below may seem to be the result of a posterization filter (an effect that reduces smooth areas of color into fewer harsh solid regions), but it's really because the image was exported as a GIF with no dithering applied.

Dithering, to the uninitiated, is how these colors are arranged together to compensate for the paltry palette, producing illusory additional colors. There are three algorithms in Photoshop for this: Diffusion, Pattern, and Noise.

Above is the original image and below is the image reduced to a completely binary 1-bit black and white color palette, to make the effect of each dithering algorithm more obvious.

Diffusion seemingly displaces the pixels around randomly, but it uses error diffusion to calculate what color each pixel should be. In other words, math bullshit. The Floyd-Steinberg algorithm is one such implementation of it, and is usually what this type of error diffusion dithering is called in other software, or some misnomer-ed variation thereof.

The usage of Pattern may hearken back to retro video game graphics for you, as older consoles also suffered from color palette limitations. Sometimes called Ordered dithering because of the orderly patterns it produces. At least, I assumed so. Its etymological roots probably stem from more math bullshit again.

True to its name, Noise is noisy. It’s visually similar to Diffusion dithering, except much more random looking. At least, when binarized like this. Truth be told, I can’t tell the difference between the two at all when using a fuller color table on an image with a lot of detail. It was mainly intended to be used when exporting individual slices of an image that was to be “stitched” back together on a webpage, to mitigate visible seams in the dithering around the edges.

To sate your curiosity, here's how the image looks with no dithering at all:

People easily confuse an undithered gif as being the result of posterization, and you couldn't fault them for thinking so. They look almost entirely the same!

Although I was already aware of this fact when I was much younger, I'm guilty of posterizing myself while editing images back then. Figured I may as well reduce the color count beforehand to help keep the exported GIF looking as intended. I view this as a complete waste of time now, though, and amateurish. Takes away a bit of the authenticity of MSPA art, how the colors and details are so variable between panels. As for WHY they were so variable to begin with, choosing the settings to save the image as requires a judicious examination on a case-by-case basis. In other words, just playing around with the settings until it looks decent.

It's the process of striking a fine balance between an acceptable file size and a "meh, good enough" visual quality that I mentioned earlier. How many colors can you take away until it starts to look shit? Which dithering algorithm helps make it look not as shit while not totally ruining the compression efficacy?

Take, for example, this panel from Problem Sleuth. It has 16 colors, an average amount for the comic, and uses Diffusion dithering. Filesize: 34.5 KB.

Then there's this panel right afterwards. It has 8 colors (again, technically 7 + alpha channel since it's an animated gif), and uses Noise dithering this time. Filesize: 34.0 KB.

The more colors and animation frames there are, and the more complicated dithering there is, the bigger the file size is going to be. Despite the second panel having half the color count of the first, the heavily noisy dithering alone was enough to inflate the file size back up. On top of that, there's extra image information layered in for the animation, leaving only a mere 0.5 kilobyte difference between the two panels.

So why would Hussie pick the algorithm that compresses worse than the other? The answer: diffusion causes the dithering to jitter around between frames of animation. Recall its description from before, how it functions on nerd shit like math calculations. The way it calculates what each pixel's color will be is decided by the pixels' colors surrounding it, to put it simply. Any difference in the placement of pixels will cause these cascading changes in the dithering like the butterfly effect.

Diffusion dithering, 16 colors. Filesize: 25.2 KB

This isn't the case with Noise or Pattern dithering, since their algorithms use either a texture or a definite array of numbers (more boring nerd shit).

Noise dithering, 16 colors. Filesize: 31.9 KB

Pattern dithering, 16 colors. Filesize: 23.1 KB

There's a lot more I'd like to talk about, like the different color reduction algorithms, which dither algorithms generally compress better in what cases, and the upward and downward trends of each one’s use over the course of a comic, but since this isn’t a deep dive on GIF optimization, I might save that for another time. This post is already reaching further past the original scope it was meant to cover, and less than 10 images can be uploaded before hitting the limit, which is NOWHERE near enough for me. I should really reevaluate my definition of the word “tidbit”… Anyway, just know that this post suffers from sample selection bias, so while the panels above came from an early section of Problem Sleuth that generally had static panels with diffusion dithering and animated panels with noise dithering, there certainly were animated panels with diffusion later on despite the dither-jittering.

Alright, time to shotgun through the rest of this post, screw segueing. Increasing the contrast almost entirely with “Use Legacy” enabled spreads the tones of the image out evenly, causing the shadows and highlights to clip into pure black and white. The midtones become purely saturated colors. Using the Levels adjustment filter instead, moving both shadow and highlight input level sliders towards the middle also accomplishes the same thing, because, you know, linear readjustment. I'm really resisting the urge to go off on another tangent about color channels and the RGB additive color model.

Anyway, there aren't any examples in MSPA that are quite this extreme (at least in color, but I'll save that for a later post), but an image sufficiently high in contrast can be mistaken for being posterized at a glance. Hence the Guy Fieri banner. In preparation for this post, I was attempting to make a pixel-perfect recreation of that panel but hit a wall trying to figure out which and how many filters were used and what each one's settings were, so I sought the wisdom of those in the official Photoshop Discord server. The very first suggestion I got was a posterization filter, by someone who was a supposed senior professional and server moderator, no less. Fucking dipshit, there's too much detail preserved for it to be posterization. Dude totally dissed me and my efforts too, so fuck that moron. I spit on his name and curse his children, and his children's children. The philistines I have to put up with...

In the end, the bloody Guy Fieri recreation proved to be too much for me to get right. I got sort of close at times, but no cigar. These were some of the closest I could manage:

You might be left befuddled after all this, struggling to remember what the point of the blogpost even was. I had meant for it to be a clarification of GIFs and an argument against using the posterization filter, thinking it was never used in MSPA, but while gathering reference images, I found a panel from the Felt intermission that actually WAS posterized! So I’ll eat crow on this one... Whatever, it’s literally the ONE TIME ever.

I can tell it's posterization and not gif color quantization because of the pattern dithering and decently preserved details on the bomb and bull penis cane. There would have had to have been no dithering and way fewer colors than the 32, most of which were allotted to the bomb and cane. You can't really selectively choose what gets dithered or more colors like this otherwise.

Thank you for reading if you've gotten this far. That all might have been a lot to take in at once, so if you're still unclear about something, please don't hesitate to leave a question! And as always, here are the PSDs used in this post that are free to peruse.

[hamiltonaf]

Payback | Kylian Mbappé

Pairing: Kylian Mbappé x Female Reader

Word Count: 2.4K

Warnings: Cursing

A/N: My apologies for not posting part 2 of ‘One More Dance’, I’ve been so busy and I’m currently working on it so hopefully it will be up soon. Inspo is from an old tiktok trend. Enjoy .xo

(Y/F/N) - Your Friend’s Name

The thud of heavy rain drops hitting against my window set the mood to do absolutely nothing today. Though it doesn't work like that today since I have an assignment due in a few days time. It would also be ideal to cuddle someone right about now but that's out of the question because of a certain someone.

After completing half of my assignment, which I was quite satisfied with, I decided to call it a day for work and take advantage of the gloomy weather.

Taking a look at Instagram was a bad idea since I came across rumours of Kylian dating another girl. So much for breaking up a month ago and wanting to 'focus on football'. His excuse still bothers me since it was a poor one after dating for almost 3 years. I don't see a change of performance on the pitch if I’m being honest. I guess everything happens for a reason, maybe we're just not meant to be.

I mean if he moved on then so should I, right ? It then hit me that I should spice things up and give something for people to talk about. We’ll excuse my petty behaviour and blame it on the weather for making me somewhat evil. Before causing some drama, I called (Y/F/N), "Ello !" she answered. "Hey girly ! How are you doing on this beautiful day ?" I asked. "Ugh I’m so bored, you have no idea” she whined. “But never mind me, how are you doing more specifically ?” She asked curiously. “I’m doing okay, but-“ “I can already tell something is up your sleeve” she cut me off.

“Damn you really know me well” I pouted. “Of course ! Otherwise I wouldn’t be your bestie. Anywho, spill the tea…I’m all ears” she said enthusiastically. “So word of mouth right now on insta is that he is dating someone else, there’s literally pictures of them at dinner together” I rolled my eyes. “Shut up ! What the actual fuck dude. That’s so messed up. He’s such an ass” she yelled. “Yeah yeah I mean it hurts but the only way for my petty ass to get over it is-“ “If you do the same thing” she finished my sentence.

“Exactly ! So remember that TikTok we wanted to try out ages ago where one of us is dressed up as the guy and take out a bunch of pictures to look like a couple” I reminded her. “Oh my god ! Our time has finally come ! Okay I’m on my way, I’ll literally be there in like 5 mins” she said lastly before ending the call.

As soon as (Y/F/N) came over, we went straight to my dresser and got working on her makeup. We started by accentuating her veiny yet bony hands and then contoured her cheekbones, as well as her jawline to look more masculine. I failed to mention how smart she is, she came through with a bouquet of my favourite flowers so I had something else to post about.

Once we were done with her makeup, she slipped into one of my high heels so she was much taller than me. With her oversized hoodie and cap on you’d literally think that she’s a guy - a hot one at that too. I changed into a black slip dress and took off my shoes to spice up the picture, and exaggerate her height.

When (Y/F/N) came up behind me in the mirror, we both burst out laughing over how accurate she looked to a guy. “Shit. Even I would date me” she said before getting serious and wrapped her arms around my waist. After a few pictures of my head tilted and her face nuzzled into my neck, we finally had the picture. Her side profile looked so sharp, it’s actually insane.

After all of this, I suddenly felt hesitant to post for some odd reason that even (Y/F/N) noticed. I think it was pretty obvious how long I was staring at the pictures. “Girl don’t hold back now, just do it. He should see that you also moved on” she wiggled her brows. “You got a point there” I said to myself. I then uploaded 2 stories, one of the bouquet and one of us together - both simply captioned with a white heart. “If I saw this for the first time, I’d literally scream. Everyone is gonna lose their minds, especially him” she smirked. “Feels good to throw this back at him” I smirked back. “Welcome to the dark side bestie” she patted my back. “Anywho I need to run, got a few errands. Love you and call me later to update me on the drama. I’ll desperately be waiting for your call” she said as she gathered her things. “Of course ! Will do. Thanks bestie” I quickly hugged her before she hurriedly left.

I proceeded to spending the rest of my afternoon binging on early 2000's chick flicks, it wasn't until the evening when I decided to check my phone again that I noticed how many notifications I received. My notifications were the highest its ever been, well shit. We love to see it I guess.

I received countless tags on reposts as well as comments from fans, and surprisingly messages from family - understandable how many messages I received since it’s so evident that it’s not Kylian in the pictures. Scrolling through my notifications I decided to ignore all until my eyes landed on Kylian’s contact name, 'Kyky'. Surprise surprise.

"Heyy" the text read, I rolled my eyes, I don't have time for a conversation starter. I left him on read and proceeded with watching my movies. It wasn't even 5 minutes and my phone started to ring. It was Kyky calling. My heart started racing, I was hesitant to answer the call because what are we going to talk about and why call now ?

"Hello" he greeted. "Hey" I answered plainly. "Are you busy ?" He asked curiously. "Well kind of.. I'm actually just getting ready to leave" I said with a devious smile creeping onto my face. "Oh. Erm okay never mind" he said disappointed. "Why ?" I raised a brow. "I'm actually outside your apartment" he said embarrassed "No way" I said lowly to myself. "Have a look" he said as I then walked towards my front door and was met with his face. I ended the call and looked at him in shock, "You- here- like..what are you doing here ?" I asked.

"Can I come in please ?" He asked pleadingly. "What for ?" I asked back. "To talk about us" he said. "Theirs no us anymore. Theirs nothing for us to talk about" I said as I was about to close the door. "Wait. Just give me a chance" he said softly. "Theirs literally no point. You moved on..I moved on-" "You have another boyfriend already ?" He asked in shock. "I'm offended that you think I'm not capable of moving on so soon" I shook my head and crossed my arms over my chest.

"So you must've known this guy whilst we were dating ?" He asked as he started to grow angry. "Yeah so ?" I scoffed. "You were just waiting for us to break up so you can date this guy" he said as he started to raise his voice. "You literally did the same thing. You made it seem like it was such a simple break up for your own good, but for the last 2 weeks you're rumoured to be with another girl !"I said as I started to grow annoyed. "Yes, but she's just a friend" he said.

"Funny how we’ve been together for so long and I never met this friend before" I said. Just then my next door neighbour yelled at us for raising our voices. "Please do yourself a favour and leave" I said as I shut the door. I then heard rattling of the door and in came Kylian. "You weren't invited inside" I said. "Well I had a spare key" he said as he held up the key. "That was supposed to be returned to me when we broke up" I said as I snatched the key from his hand and went to sit on my couch. “Also, how could you act surprised that I moved on when you’re literally here after I posted a picture with another guy ?” I questioned. He then sat beside me, "Can you just stop talking about that idiot ? I came here to talk about us…How do I make you love me again?"

"Love ? Dream on" I half laughed. "I'm being serious" he said as he looked between my eyes. "Forget about me loving you. How do I know that you love me ?" I asked. "Well I missed you all this time so I came back" he smiled. "It's not that simple. If you truly loved me as you say, you wouldn't have wanted to break up after all these years" I said. "Look I'm sorry okay ? I really am. I wish I could go back in time and reverse what I did...I just needed some time to myself to think about my future personal life and I kept imagining you in it..." he said as he gently moved a strand away from my face.

"Don't play with me right now" I warned. "No jokes. I love you. I really do, and I want to continue to spend the rest of my life with you" he said as he held my hands. "Okay cute. Anyways I have to go meet my boyfriend. It was nice of you to stop by..I'll think about it" I huffed as I got up. He grabbed a hold of my wrist and pulled me towards him to sit on his lap. "Stop lying" he smirked. "What makes you think I'm lying ?" I raised a brow. "I know your facial expressions when you lie. I just know you all too well because you literally could've left the second you opened your door instead of coming back inside" He said with a smile.

"Well I've changed my mind, I rather be with him right now" I shrugged. "I want my old (Y/N) back" he pouted. "She left the building the day you left her" I said lastly and got up to walk to my room. "Ouch" he pouted as he followed behind me. "I still love you no matter what. Always have and always will" I gave him a brief look before pretending to rummage through my closet. "So is this how it's going to be ?" He asked as he leaned back in my bed and watched me. "I told you that I need to think about it" I said as I continued to skim through my closet. "I'm not going until we stop fighting" he said casually "This isn't fighting. People don't get back together based off 5 minutes of talking to them after a whole month" I said as he stood up to stand in front of me.

"I like it when you're angry" he said as he got closer. "Don't" I said softly as I looked down. He lifted my head to meet his eyes as he cupped my cheeks, his thumb tracing over my lips. "You're making this harder" I pouted. Just when his lips were a mere centimetre away, he mumbled "It shouldn’t be hard if you have a boyfriend…Should I stop ?"

I hesitated to answer. To give up the game and kiss him or keep annoying him. “I can’t” I faked a pout. “Why not ?” His mood dropped. “I can’t do this to Nico” I said as I looked down. “Fuck Nico !” He yelled. “How the hell do you even know this guy ?” He asked frustrated. “We met at a party” I answered casually. “Besides him, it’s wrong of you to cheat on your girlfriend” I said looking everywhere else but him. He walked closer which made me take a step back, my back hitting against the wall. He placed his hands on either side of me, cornering me. “I just told you that she’s a friend and nothing more” he tried to say calmly. “I’m not convinced” I shrugged.

“Forget about her, she’s irrelevant right now. I came to claim back what was once mine. If I have to fight this stupid so called boyfriend of yours, then I will” he said as he inched his face closer to mine. There was a moment of silence. Both of us holding eye contact and switching between looking at each others eyes and lips. He leaned in and I didn’t stop him. It was a sweet soft peck. His forehead against mine, he sighed and said "I'll give you your space.” I surprised myself by grabbing a hold of his hand and pulling him back into place. “What’s wrong ?” He asked. “You’ll fight for me ?” I teased. “I know that I’m not fighting anyone because you’re lying, but if I have to then I will” he said as his hands were on my waist.

“How can you tell I’m lying ?” I instinctively wrapped my arms around his neck. “Besides reading your facial expressions, we wouldn’t be in this position right now” he said. “Or doing this” he said softly before placing his lips on mine. I pulled him closer against me and just then he broke away from the kiss. “I think I should go” he teased. "No no wait just a little more" I hushed him as I pulled him closer to connect our lips once again.

[gl1tt3r-gutz-and-r0b0tz-sl]

MegaCee would probably be where Arcee is the super innocent bean to help turn the murderous terrorist of a Decepticon into a more neutral character in terms of alignment. In my AU, Arcee is a gladiator forced to fight by being drugged with dark Energon while Megatron is a seasoned fighter who climbed the ranks high enough to spectate the fights. TLDR: Gladiators becoming besties and then one becomes an Autobot.

StarCee would be probably in the same universe, or if Starscream got his shit kicked in a little too hard by Megatron and was left for dead. Arcee finds him, fixes him, and keeps him with the Autobots. TLDR: She fixes his mommy issues after they get into bitch fights.

Both art works are mine. I had to delete my old account, so I'll try to re-upload stuff. BTW, this is for a fanfic I'm writing. I'll probably post it when it's done.

I'm high off of two days of sleep deprivation. IDK WHAT I'M SAYING ANYMORE LMFAO

EDIT: So, I was thinking a little bit more about MegaCee and remembered the rest of the lore kinda, I'll explain more based on the results of the pole, but essentially, in my universe, the Quintessons took Arcee while she was young, I'm talking like- five, and then experimented on her, destroying her body, ripping apart every organ, Gorey shit, etc, then hyking her ass up on dark Energon injected into her to make her viscous and kill all her cellmates. Then they entered her into an illegal gladiator ring that was like a gambling thing, bets and whatnot, then the whole Megatron thing I stated before, he was abandoned and trained by the bots responsible for the ring, meeting Orion Pax/ Optimus during it, then their falling out, and Megatron rose higher in the ranks. Arcee climbed the ladder of ranks in the ring due to her brutal and forced way of combat. Megatron almost formed an infatuation with her brutality and when it came time for them to fight one another, he gave her an opportunity. To join his cause. She accepted, they both killed practically everyone, and she became a spy for him to report back with Intel Sound wave could not. Because of the blue optics she has and her overall cuteness, she appears harmless and no one has suspected a thing. She no longer is hooked on the dark Energon, but kills out of loyalty for the most part. She does weep alone after every Decepticon life she had to take during the battles in order to not look suspicious.

Then for StarCee, to make it fair with the other ship, would be where Arcee is the same with this universe, but grows closer to Starscream, despite his jealousy of Megatron's attention being on her. Starscream, like in one of the comics, was abandoned by his mother figure, but in my universe Thundercracker and Skywarp are canonically his brothers, and he was responsible for himself and them. Due to him having to be an adult at such a young age, it could explain why he's more childish and bratty when older. This will probably end in both Arcee fully defecting to the Autobots and Starscream to join her, causing drama and shit to blow up.

Arcee will most likely be the therapy mom in both of these lol. DAMN. THIS WAS LONG AND IM SORRY. IM TIRED YALL

[kyannae]

ok ok so I have an idea, nagi and reader as married couple, (or if your not good with aging them up, you can make it be like Nagi gave them a promise ring or something) playing valorant or games in general with matching tags dominating the games obviously ofc you can add whatever you want in it

gamer couple 💯，↷ nagi seishiro.

summary: even though the both of you were a married couple, you two still found immense joy in playing games and dominating the match. (gn!reader)

category: fluff

warnings: aged up nagi, no they don't do anything inappropriate they just got married, igaguri, gn!reader

a/n: OMG??? this is such a good idea except I don't play valorant 😭 I'm going to go with arsenal instead since my brother has been forcing me to play it nowadays ☠️ i hope this was fine and up to your expectations 🥹

"someone's on the roof." you voiced out to your lover, nagi- whom was playing together with you. the both of you were sitting side by side, fingers pressed on the keyboard and mouse.

"yeah?" nagi replied, pointing his gun up before shooting at the person on the roof- getting a headshot.

"nice kill," you commented- shooting down people on the red team whom had just spawned.

switching to your blade so that you could move faster, you killed someone using it while they were too preoccupied in trying to snipe others on your team.

"niiice." nagi praised when seeing your kill notification at the upper right hand corner of the screen.

"ah, i got the golden gun." you said, before you groaned. "damn. got killed."

"don't worry. i jus' got one." nagi replied, quickly running around to search for players. finding one, he quickly delivered a headshot- and the match ended.

nagi was in first place, obviously, while you were second, close behind. you stretched, typing a 'gg' in the chat, nagi doing the same.

nozaza123 - hack?

realnagi - no u jus' suck.

realy/n - HELP

you laughed at what nagi typed into the chat, seeing 'nozaza123' get all angry and leave, swearing that he would report him.

"mmm...good match." nagi mumbled, clinging onto you like a koala. his personality didn't change at all since he was a teen.

"mhm, i agree. maaan, it still feels as though we were young." you replied, gently patting nagi's head, the diamond on your ring twinkling from the light cast down on the both of you. "let's head to bed now, sei. you have a match tomorrow."

"okay...give me a sec." nagi took out his camera, quickly taking a photo of the game match before it disappeared, and uploading it to twitter. "kay. let's go sleep."

that night, the comments were flooded with people laughing at 'nozaza123' , people commenting on how good the both of you played, and people wanting to play with you two. they were also fawning over how the both of you had matching tags.

IGAGURI:

FUCK U TWO THERE'S NO WAY YOU ARENT HACKING. U N YOUR STUPID MATCHING TAGS AND CHARACTERS 🖕🖕

NAGI SEISHIRO:

ez game nozaza123

um, and igaguri got bashed in the comments.

© kyannae

[kisscookin]

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐝 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐅𝐮𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐞 𝐒𝐩𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞 ♡

— 𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐨𝐭 𝐩𝐢𝐜𝐤 𝐚 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 —

hi everyone! its your kisscookin again in another tarot PAC reading :) today, you'll read message that your beloved future spouse want you to know. I channeled each letter exactly the way your spouse said it.

please give a lot of love to this reading cause it's my first reading like that and don't forget to check previous readings here :)

I really value any type of feedback from your side ♡ follow, like, reblog ♡

close your eyes, take a deep breath and think about your person. then choose letter that draws you the most.

sorry for any possible grammar or orthography mistakes. I do not own those pictures.

do not upload my post on any other platform without my clear consent

𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝟏, 𝟐, 𝟑

— 𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟏 —

take only what resonates

hi love,

it's been a while since we made telepathic connection, haven't we? do you remember it? did you even noticed messages that I've been sending you non stop? I feel like I'm calling you, but you're not picking up :( my love, I feel so empty without you, like someone ripped my ribcage open and took my heart out? where did you go, where did you hide? have I met you? have I dreamed of you? I don't know. I'm so confused about my love life right now. I feel like I'm standing on this goddamn crossroad and I don't know which way should I go to meet my love of my life, my beloved wifey (hubby), the one that will put heart in my wounded body and mind. Will you do that? Will you give me your heart? I'm so confused.

I'm huge hopeless romantic. I dream about love and soulmates and romance all damn time. I wander alone on the streets of New York (or any other city?), and I see all those happy couples holding hands and kissing each other. I smile at them with pain in my heart and my soul. I'm love sick. I want to love you. I want to kiss you. kissing every inch of your body makes me wanna move mountains, I feel so excited. why? I don't really now. sometimes I get lost in my thoughts and I forget to do my earthy duties and my errands so my boss is mad at me. but I'm Pisces so whatever, I don't care. I love smelling roses, they remind me of the desire hidden inside me to find my love, my beloved, my soulmate, my twin flame. I want to reach my hand to you right now, but I dont know where you are. Will you tell me? Will you find me? Are you even on this earth? man, I can't deal with awful adult life all by myself :( help me out babe. I really need you.

I know I may sound boring, whining and depressed. but trust me, I'm not. I just can't deal with my loneliness and my life without you. you're only one that I need. you're the one that will complete my lost soul. are you ready to join me on my journey? please say that you do :(

Love you :(

Your spouse :(

— 𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟐 —

take only what resonates

tw: swear words

HI,

what's up babyyyy. I know you've been missing me. who wouldn't miss me tbh. I hope you're doing good these days. I'm confident, loud and super outgoing person so I hope I don't scare or intimidate you :3 you're so precious to me ♡ but I'll love the shy look on your face when I'll be flirting with you shamelessly. I'll love how your face becomes red any time I complement and kiss you in front of your family, friends and other people. don't be shy, you can hold my hand or hold my biceps. I know you love my muscles :3

now I'm gonna tell you what's going on in my life. nothing special. I'm working, I'm chilling with my boys, we watch football and other sports together, we drink beer together, we fuck bitches. just what ordinary, stupid guys my age do. I'm single but I don't wanna commit right now. I wanna party like crazy, I wanna gain a lot of experience, so later on life I would be perfect husband (wife) for you. I'll be loyal and committed to you till my death, but right now I don't care about relationships. those cheap bitches ain't as precious as you so I'm not planning on ....... omg I was about to spill a secret 🤫 am I a fuckboy (fuck girl)? yes. do I care? no. but sooner or later this period will come to an end and along my path I will find you ♡ my dearest ♡

babyyy, sorry if my message is tooooooo short but I don't have anything else to say to you :3 we still have a long journey ahead of us before we meet so my love, please live your life to the fullest and try to experience as many things as possible, so one day when we lay down in your bed, with a glass of wine, we can share our most fucked up and funny stories. babyyy I promise I'll make you laugh until you struggle to breathe.

keep yourself safe my dearest ♡

your spouse :3

— 𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟑 —

take only what resonates

hii,

how are you? how you doing? :) recently I moved out from my family house to collage. it's been rough period in my life but somehow I managed to get through it. I miss my family soo freaking much. I'm here alone. I'm shy, so it's struggle to find friends. but my love I promise I'm working on all my anxieties and my shyness. I'm practising being more open and bold but sometimes I hold up. I'm naturally very introverted and I love living in my inner temple. I love meditating and I do it a lot. it helps me soothe my loneliness and my past wounds. also it helps my cope with stress. my love, do you meditate? if not, then try it. lately you've been nervous and stressed. it's not worth it. take care of your mind, soul and body. it's important. take all witamins and nutrition. eat healthy and drink enough water. I study degree related to those issues so trust me, I know what I'm talking about :D I'm a nerd 🤓 but you'll learn a lot from me and I'll learn from you. our relationship will be very growth orientated.

I've never had any girlfriend (boyfriend) before, so at the beginning things may be awkward for a while. please don't be turned off by that 🙈 I'm a fun person after all, but it takes time to break my hard shell. I've been like that since I was little child.

my love, you'll recognise me easily when we finally meet. I always wear glasses and turtleneck (not in summer tho) and I always carry classic book with me and of course coffee. I may look like new yorker or sophisticated parisian. I love plants and I recently decorated my collage room with plants and other hipster stuff. I love aesthetically pleasing things.

my love, take good care of yourself. can't wait to kiss you 💋

your spouse ♡

《 KissCookin 》

[byunpum]

EXPERIMENT 56 [your time is coming] sequel | PART 5 |

AVATAR MASTERLIST | EXPERIMENT 56 masterlist

PAIR: Neteyam x Human reader. ( a mix of human and Navi )

Other pairs: Quaritch x reader (platonic) , sully fam x reader.

SUMMARY: Y/N thinks she has a peaceful life with her new family. But a sudden visitor is about to change her life and her family's life.

WARNINGS: 18+, the characters are aged up 20's, a little violence, don't worry no one dies, Y/N and neteyam being parents , Bestie stuff, Family moments.

PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3 | PART 4 | PART 5

Note: I hope you like this chapter, Sorry it took so long to upload this part. I've had a lot of work this week, I've even been sick. But I will be catching up this week. Thanks for the support~~

Max was examining the results that norm had given him 5 minutes ago. He hadn't quite entered the lab, when he came upon the image of Quaritch sitting on the examination table, jake sitting across from him looking at him, as if his life depended on it. And norm asking him a few routine questions. As soon as norm noticed max's presence, both men ran up to him and started asking him questions.

"So?" asks Jake, waiting for an answer from his friend. Damn this knowing what was wrong with Quaritch was killing him. Max keeps looking at the results and talking to himself. "No abnormal activity" says max, looking innocently at the two men. - "Max…we know that…we want to know if there's another 'type' of activity?" shouts norm, the man is hysterical because he's had jake screwing with his existence for the last 4 hours. "He says it's someone else," says jake. Max goes back to looking at the results and walks over to Quaritch. Jake and norm watch as their friend starts talking to the man, it was nonsense questions. About everyday life, or what he liked to do. He also asked him how he had been feeling in the last few months and if he had experienced any changes.

After about half an hour, Jake sees Max approaching them. "His consciousness woke up, that's all. I have to run some more tests, but I'm pretty sure," Max says, as if what he is saying is understood by everyone. The man sees how jake and norm are looking at him open-mouthed.

"OK… The avatars they used for the Recoms, they are avatars that already had consciousness. They needed them to have consciousness so that they would be able to accept the memories of the military. A body that has no consciousness cannot walk on its own. It was like a celebral abduction, they repressed the southconsciousness of these avatars and made them believe that the memories they were introducing were theirs" max speaks. Jake couldn't believe what he was hearing. Norm walks over to his friend.

"Oh…that's right. That's why our avatars couldn't walk around without us, because they had no pre-designed consciousness, they were like newborn babies. While these ones had trained them, to then erase everything…" Norm begins to search and write down what they discovered. " You're telling me… that the man in there… he just had a spiritual awakening and now he's not what we think he is. " jake almost screams, he's frustrated. "Yes… he's totally someone else. He tells me that all the memories he has are of that person…but he's not that military guy" max says.

Jake was going to have a heart attack. You were right, Y/N was right. But he couldn't help but feel that he was in danger, this man who claims to be someone else. He had tried to hurt his family, and he had kidnapped you. He had done so much damage to his now home, pandora. He cannot accept. Norm can watch as jake walks out of the lab, and leaves everyone behind. "Hey where are you going?" yells Norm, as he watches his friend walk away from the lab. Norm knows jake will be fine, he just needs more time. "So what do we do with him?" asks max, giving a look at quaritch who was already lying on the table, while looking at the ceiling and playing with his tail. "I don't know…let's do some more tests" says norm. "He looks like an abandoned kitten" says max. "That's what I say" norm laughs a little.

On the other hand… Y/N was following the strange noises she heard. They were like begging and whimpering…and you were pretty sure they weren't from any animal…they were from a human or some na'vi asking for help. You had lo'ak behind you, both of them had stopped running to approach the target. You had to be quiet, you didn't want to scare anyone. To your good fortune you were both very good at it. You and Lo'ak were experienced at sneaking and being quiet, you had escaped from the family hut many times.

Neteyam had his arrow inches away from spider's head, trapping him on the ground. While the boy tried to cover as much of his face as he could with his hands. A single arrow and he would be dead in seconds. "Nete…what's wrong with you?" said spider, his voice trembling, his eyes tightly closed. He didn't know what was happening, but he knew it was impossible to escape. Neteyam's pupils were dilated, beads of sweat were running down his forehead. He was in a trance of rage. Why did he always have to be involved in everything…why did he always have to be with you? Why you were always looking for spider's help, and not him. Neteyam wanted to overcome everything that had happened, but it was impossible for him. Why did spider have to help you, why wasn't he a good friend and he went and told him. He doesn't trust him… they are supposed to be friends, almost brothers…

Just as the arrow was slipping through his fingers, neteyam moved his arm a little to the left. Causing the arrow to pass right next to spider's head, burying itself in the ground. Spider felt like life was passing through his eyes. Neteyam stayed pointed at spider for a second, bow empty. "Nete…please put the bow down?" says spider, moving his hand to move the bow. Spider noticed that neteyam didn't exert any force, and was able to take the bow and put it on the ground. Neteyam's chest was heaving up and down, he looked like he was in a state of shook. He was a second away from ending his friend's life, how could he be able to do that. And still spider had gotten up from the ground, and had his hands in his arms. Trying to sit him down, spider gets neteyam to sit up. The boy moves a little away from the na'vi in hopes of giving him some space.

"Why does y/n always look for you?" speaks neteyam, sitting on the ground his head was hanging down. It was a sign of defeat. His jealousy had consumed him, to the point of eliminating what he thought was a threat, spider. He felt bad spider had nothing to do with it, even you…you had nothing to do with it. The problem was him. "y/n…she's my friend" spider says in a shaky voice. Neteyam looks up and looks at the boy. You could see the fear she had towards him. "I know she is your friend…but she doesn't trust me" says neteyam, he is silent waiting for some answer from spider.

"She trusted you…and you helped her bring our enemy to the village. She could have counted on my help, but no…she looked for you" says neteyam, now he had his whole body turned to spider. He had an authoritative attitude, but it wasn't defensive. "I think she looked to me for help…for fear that you wouldn't help her. Understand this is a delicate situation…but I didn't agree at first. Besides, you met that man once," says spider. Neteyam crawls a little closer to spider, runs his hands over the back of his neck as he sighs loudly. "Us? You mean my father?" asks neteyam.

"You know how jake is and she…y/n likes to help everyone. She…" Spider pauses. "She's great," says spider. Neteyam's eyes focus on the attitude spider now has. He looked kind of sad. "She's all yours neteyam…she loves you so much. If she seeks my help it is because we are friends…very good friends" spider says, raising his gaze to look at neteyam. He laughs a little, relaxing his shoulders. Maybe he had overacted. "You have a beautiful baby…you have a family with her," spider's voice sounds a little gruff. "I know I missed my chance with her a long time ago…I'm just helping her like I would help you" he says.

Neteyam reaches over to drape an arm around the boy's shoulders and give him a nudge. "Thank you…and sorry for trying to kill you" neteyam says laughing a little. "Oh don't worry…it's not the first time they've done it" neteyam started laughing and spider followed him. They stood in silence for a moment enjoying the tranquility of the jungle. "You know I think Y/N looked me up because she thought I might have some kind of relationship with Quaritch" says spider. "That makes sense" says neteyam. Boy were they stupid, maybe that was your plan all along. A noise interrupts them as the two boys see two figures emerge from the bushes. Y/N falls to the ground and is followed by an agitated lo'ak. They both quickly get up in attack position. Neteyam and spider stand there with their mouths hanging open.

"Ahhhh" yells lo'ak, you see neteyam and spider sitting next to each other. You had misheard…you could have sweared you heard some screaming. "Hello yawnetu!!!" says neteyam, sitting up straight and raising his hand to greet you. Spider copies his movements. He had to pretend, if you found out that he had tried to tempt spider's life…ohhh he was in a lot of trouble. He might be big, but you intimidated the hell out of him. You quickly approach neteyam and you sniff him.

"Something happened" you speak. The two men laugh nervously as they look at each other. "Nooo we were here practicing and talking" says spider. You turn your gaze to analyze the boy. "You were with lo'ak?" asks neteyam to change the subject and distract you. "Yes…we were at the beach" you turn your attention to neteyam. He grabs you by the arm and pulls you so that you are now by his side. "Hey why don't we go to the village…I'm hungry" says lo'ak who all this time had been lying down. Neteyam gets up from the ground, just like spider. They all take their possessions and make their way to the village. As they walked, spider and neteyam gave each other a few glances as they laughed a little. Neteyam was glad to have a friend like spider… who would forgive something like what had happened a few moments ago, nobody. But spider did… he was a strange boy.

Arriving at the village, you see how neytiri is talking to jake outside the family hut. You all glance at each other, and walk over to where the couple is. "Dad…what happened?" you say, a little worried. From the look on his face and the way his tail was all up in the air, you knew your father was having a nervous breakdown. Well, he was always like that…but you were sure he was about to collapse. "Y/N you were right…max just confirmed it" says jake raising his arms a little upset. "I'm what?" you're confused, what's going on. Neytiri tries to calm jake down, and invites them all into the hut. "I'm going to get norm and max" says jake, running towards the lab area. "Mom…" you look at neytiri, who is also confused. Neytiri leads us inside and orders us to sit down.

"Mom, where is noah't" you ask for your son, who is probably hungry. "Kiri has taken him to play with tuk, relax, he is fine" Neytiri gives you a squeeze on your arm, sitting down next to you. Everyone was quiet. Lo'ak and spider were talking about anything. And neteyam is next to you, he was playing with a bracelet he had on his ankle, you knew he was nervous about something, you knew it had to do with what happened a few moments ago with spider. You walk over and lay your head on his shoulder. "Is something wrong? Are you okay?" you ask, neteyam just looks at you and nods his head. His eyes betrayed him…he was feeling guilty. What happened? Out of nowhere, you see norm, max and jake enter the hut.

"Hello family!!!" says Norm, sitting down next to everyone. Jake and max follow him. You see that they have some papers in their hands. You were so curious to see what those papepes had written on them. Max looks at you and laughs a little, as does Norm. "You were right little girl… Quaritch is someone else" says Max, everyone is shocked. What do you mean, he's someone else? So what you had interpreted about eywa was correct. Max tried to explain as much as he could so that everyone understood, spider and lo'ak understood. Even neteyam understood what max meant. But your mother, neytiri is not convinced. "We are going to say that in about 2 or 3 months his past memory will be erased. He will be kept with personality traits and some vague memories." Max says ending his monologue. "So what do we do now?" asks neteyam.

"I don't know…you decide" says norm, looking at you quickly. Oh no, now this was your decision. You had gotten it right the first time, now you had to decide what to do about Quaritch. "Mmm we can ask grandma" you speak up. Neytiri supports your decision. "I think it is the right thing to do, tomorrow morning we will all get together and talk to mo'at. She will recommend us what to do" said neytiri with a serious voice. You were always impressed when she spoke like that, you see how everyone nods and hurries your mother's order. "Perfect" says Jake. After a long talk and norm answered some questions about the situation with Quaritch. Norm and max leave. So does spider, saying goodbye to everyone. Thus leaving neytiri, neteyam , lo'ak , jake and you alone in the hut.

"I'm sorry I didn't trust you" says jake, his hand was now holding yours. Your father could be stubborn at times, and it was normal for him to worry. And you hated to see him like that, you knew that the grief and shame he had now had no reason to feel it. "Dad… don't say that" you stand up and hug him. Jake wraps his arms around you and presses you to his chest. "D…daddy" you giggle a little. "Ma jake, let her go" says neytiri laughing a little."My baby girl…" jake says, letting go of you and giving you a kiss on the forehead. "I promise you everything will be okay" you speak, looking at your mother. You knew she was uncomfortable with this whole situation, but she knew how to handle her emotions very well. "I know" says Neytiri, pulling you close to give you another kiss on the cheek. You watch as your two parents look at you, you might be so different, but they loved you so much and trusted you blindly. You hear some smiles and smirks at the entrance. And you all see how kiri enters with tuk, tuk was holding noah't in his arms. While he was playing with some braids in his hair.

"Look who's there!!!" says tuk, pointing at you so your son could see you. Noah't stretched out his little arms as soon as he saw his mom and dad. "Come here" you speak, making faces at noah't. Tuk hands him to you, and you quickly begin to kiss his chubby cheeks. Neteyam is next to you, so you pick up the baby for him to give him a kiss too. Neteyam gives him a kiss and this causes a tender noah't smile. He is already on your chest, laying his head down to fall asleep. "We fed him fruit and played with him a lot" says tuk excitedly. "I see they put something in his hair too" you say, taking a closer look at the baby's new hair ornament. "Yes…that will bring him good luck" says kiri, as she lay down in her hammock. "Ahh yes, how?" asks neteyam, who is now examining the new object in his son's hair. "It's a good luck stone… relax" says neytiri, the woman was looking for various things for the meal. Kiri sticks his tongue out at his older brother and he copies the same gesture.

Neteyam bends, and comes up to your ear. "Ma y/n could we go to our home?" asks neteyam, you stroke your face a little on his cheek, handing him noah't and picking yourself up off the floor. Neteyam copies your movements. "Well…I guess we're leaving" jake is shocked usually you two stay up late with them. "why? you don't want dinner" jake gives neteyam a look, the boy gets a little nervous. "mmm no dad it's just that we are kind of tired" neteyam says shyly. Neteyam was still getting very nervous if he tried to confront his father. "but" jake starts to speak, but is interrupted by a laughing lo'ak. "Father…don't you see they want to be 'alone'" lo'ak speaks in a mocking voice. You laugh a little, you knew neteyam was tired, but you also knew his intentions. "ok….let's go" you start to push neteyam by the thighs, before he started to fight with lo'ak. All the family members say goodbye and you continue on your way to your hut.

You quickly arrived at your hut. Neteyam held noah't, and sat with him on the ground. It was still early to go to sleep, so you had to entertain him for a while before he fell asleep. Luckily for you, your son was a very quiet baby. You sit down next to neteyam, knowing he was acting strange, "Did something happen…between you and spider?" you ask. You could see his ears wiggle and his tail stiffen and start to wag slowly. "mmm I…nothing. Nothing happened" says neteyam. "Neteyam… you are lying to me" you question him. Neteyam sits with his legs crossed and his back straight. He looked like a little boy about to be scolded by his mother, it gave you a little tenderness. "I will tell you the truth" says neteyam. You look at him waiting for an answer. It couldn't be that serious. "I tried to kill spider…but we talked and now everything is fine" says neteyam, he talked as fast as he could so you wouldn't understand well, but boy did you. "You what!!! So the screams I heard were from spider" you raise your voice a little. "Ma y/n everything is fine…calm down" neteyam says, trying to calm you down. You had already gotten up from the ground, and you were right in front of him. It's not like you were very intimidating, even standing up. He looked bigger than you. "Why would you do something like that? Spider didn't do anything" you say. Neteyam looks down.

"I know…and that's why I regretted it. It wasn't right, I let my emotions guide me" he lowered his head in regret. Trying to do damage, and for no justifiable reason was not approved behavior in the omaticaya clan. It was a very passive clan. "Emotions…or jealousy?" you sputter, as you wait for neteyam to have something to say to you. But you only resent a 'mmm' and feel him tilt his head to your chest. You reach out to hug his head. "I don't want to know the reason for the situation…because I'm sure it's something stupid. But did you apologize to spider?" you ask. "Yes I did…spider is a good friend and he understood me" says neteyam, pressing his head on your chest. You stay for a while, stroking his scalp, and giving him a few kisses on the top of his hair. Until you feel someone tapping your foot. You look down, and see noah't raising his arms.

"Ahhh my precious baby…I love you too" you turn away from neteyam, to now sit on his lap. Placing noah't on your chest, you are sure he is very hungry. Neteyam settles in and hugs you. So that both of you are comfortable on his chest. "Why did you ask for spider's help, if I'm ready to do everything for you?" asks neteyam, while rocking in your arms. "You would have helped me care for and feed our father's enemy?" neteyam is silent, of course he wouldn't have. "Spider always does what I want" you speak in a mocking voice. "So you used him" you look up, neteyam had a smile on his lips. "Hey…don't say it like that. Yes…but I didn't mean it that way. He's my friend, that's all" you return to settle back on his chest.

After an hour, Noah wasn't very sleepy. So you put him in his hammock. A small hammock that his aunt kiri had made for him. "He looks so cute!!!" you give him a soft kiss on his cheeks, as you watch the baby settle in. You carefully close the curtain that separated the baby's space from the hut (for privacy) "Hey come here" says neteyam, he was sitting on the other side of the hut. Luckily for you your home was quite big, designed for a family of 5 people. You walk towards him, you see that he has some kind of cream in his hands. "What is it?" you watch as neteyam takes some out of the bottle, and takes your arm to apply it to your skin. "It's ngrr help for hybridization, and it smells great too" neteyam takes your arm, and sniffs the scent leaving a kiss. You laugh a little but let him continue what he is planning to do.

You stand in front of him, watch as he takes a generous amount in his hands and mixes it in his palms. Now he begins to massage it into your legs, his hands gently massaging your skin. You see how he is giving you a few looks, and he comes over to give you a kiss on your shoulder. As he continues to carefully massage your legs, he gently moves up from your calves to the back of your thighs and you feel him squeeze his hands. "They are so soft and plump" neteyam bites his lip and you giggle a little taking his face in your hands. "Hey…easy" you tease, as you feel his grip get tighter and he moves his hands to squeeze your ass. In one swift movement he pulls you closer to him, so that your hands are now around his neck. His hands now crawl to your crotch, to pull you up. You had reached his lips, pulling him closer to you to deepen the kiss, as he let out a few desperate moans, while his hands made quick work of your clothing.

In a matter of seconds your clothes were on the floor, while his hands touched any part of your body he could reach. He seemed so desperate for your touch, and there you could understand his behavior. "Are you?" you pull away a little from his lips, but he keeps leaving kisses on your jaw and breasts. "Neteyam… I" your voice is clipped as you feel his hands lift you off the ground. And he straddles you towards the hammock you both shared. Your back in cold material, as neteyam settled on top of you, leaving kisses on your breasts going down to your belly. "All mine…" was almost a whisper, almost to himself. Reminding himself that he was the only man who could take you like this.

Your legs spread intently, leaving him a clear path. Your hands travel to the top of his head to push him to where you needed him most. "Let's finish what we started this morning" says neteyam giving several bites on your lower belly, you lift your hips a little. You were a mess in little moans, he didn't know the effect he had on you. You thought he was a fool to think, that any man could stand a chance with you.

On the other hand…

Quaritch was sitting on the bed that mo'at had prepared for him. Well, it was more like where she settled anyone who came to ask for her help. He was feeling better, the medications and some stitches that Norm had given him had helped him a lot. He felt strange, he felt like he was in a completely new place, he was like a new person. Every hour that passed felt new to him. His legs were crossed, and now he was holding his tail, analyzing it. Mo'at on the other hand had been watching the man, norm and max had explained everything to her. To her it was watching a lost toddler.

"Careful with that tail…you don't want to hurt yourself" says mo'at. Quaritch quickly lets go of his tail. Mo'at is silent for a moment, until she begins to speak. Capturing the avatar's full attention. "Do you have a name?" the woman asks. She looks at the man who now had his ears lowered and his tail had stopped wagging. "Well…they call me quartch. But I like Miles better" Mo'at smiles a little. "Well Miles, how does it feel to wake up?" Miles settles more into his spot, and gets excited about the question. He'd been there all day, testing and listening to how he was someone else. But no one had ever asked him how he felt…until now. "I feel strange…but free" Miles says, Mo'at stands up and hands him a type of container that contained a drink. "I'm glad you found your home…Y/N wasn't wrong about you" mo'at says.

"Y/N…she where is she? I haven't seen her since I got here." Miles says. Mo'at could notice Miles' behavior to talk about you. Miles' ears perked up, his tail began to wag with excitement, and his eyes widened with interest. "I imagine she's with her mate…it's normal not to see couples this time of year," says mo'at, she knew better than to talk about her granddaughter's intimacy. But she wanted to set the record straight. " Time?" asks Miles, he doesn't understand much of the Navi language. "Mating season" says mo'at without any embarrassment. Miles nods his head, and she can see the redness on the tips of his ears. He didn't have to ask about you…of course you were with your mate. Who else would you be with. "Well get some rest…it's going to be a long day tomorrow," says mo'at getting up to leave the hut. The man stands there thinking, as he settled in. He had to get used to the idea that he wouldn't see you, he just wanted to tell you how grateful he was to you.

6:00 am

The entire sully family was gathered at mo'at's entrance, waiting for norm and max to arrive. They were going to talk to mo'at about the situation, now that they knew that Quaritch was going through his facet of being someone else. And that it wasn't going to hurt, they couldn't just take him out of the village. The poor guy didn't know how to defend himself, life in Pandora is not the same as in the military camp. Besides, you weren't going to let them take him out, you had put so much effort in taking care of him. "Well…what's taking so long?" says Neytiri. As she moves from side to side, you knew she was nervous. This was not a situation she liked, but she had to respect her mother's decision.

On the other hand, neteyam is sitting on a rock. He had his hands around your waist, pressing you to his chest. You could feel how nervous he was, just knowing that you were going to see this man was putting him in a bad mood. Spider slowly approached the group, he hadn't seen neteyam since yesterday. His head was down, and he walked straight towards you. You move a little away from neteyam, and take spider's hand to give him a hug. "Hey…are you okay? i heard about what happened yesterday" you say, looking quickly at neteyam. He laughs a little and waves to spider. "Yeah, I'm fine… nete and I set the record straight" spider laughs, and reaches out his hand to touch neteyam's shoulder. You intertwine your arms with spider's, at the same time norm and max arrive.

You all enter mo'at's hut, as you enter you can see how Miles is sitting next to mo'at. He was helping the woman, he looked so calm. He looked like a different person. You let go of spider's arms and move away from neteyam. And you run to Miles, hugging him by the neck. "Quaritch!!!" you speak cheerfully. The man wraps his arm around your back, laughing. "How are you little one?" speaks Miles. Everyone in the room was looking at you with surprise. The relationship you had created with Miles was very strong. Neteyam had already stepped forward beside you. Miles looks up, watching as your partner looks at him. He moves his hands away from your back. Jake and neytiri had sat down next to mo'at. The atmosphere is heavy, you could feel the breeze. Neytiri had her eyes on Miles, she leans over and takes your arm to pull you closer to her. You obey your mother and sit next to her. Neteyam follows you, while lo'ak and spider stand near the entrance. "Well… I'm glad you're all here," mo'at says.

"I've made up my mind, about this man" mo'at relays a smile to Miles. Jake was about to speak, but the woman raises her hand. "shhh" neytiri says. Your father could be the great jakesully, a strong warrior. But if your mother said to shut up, he does it without thinking.

"I have decided to keep him with us" says mo'at. "Mother!!!!" yells neytiri, getting upset as she lifted herself a little from her seat. Neteyam followed in her mother's footsteps, as did jake. Meanwhile spider and lo'ak were left in a state of shocked. You try to calm your family, but they all ignore you. It's not like you can do much surrounded by giants. "Grandmother…but this man is dangerous" says neteyam. "Neteyam!!!" you take his hand, making him sit up. Miles' eyes meet yours for a moment, you could see those words hurt him. The avatar in front of them, was someone else. But he didn't blame anyone.

"HE WILL STAY HERE! We will help him to adapt…to live with us. I have spoken!" says mo'at. Your grandmother was very upset, she was looking straight at Jake and Neytiri. Norm and max had taken it upon themselves to explain everything to mo'at. She knew the right thing to do was to help him, and let him be part of the clan. Of course, he had to earn the trust of the clan. Everyone in the hut is silent for a long time. Neytiri stands up and looks at MILES. "If you do…the slightest harm to my family. I will kill you again with my own hands" you stand up and take her hand. "Mom calm down…don't be like this" you try to reassure her. Jake could be calmer than your mother, she couldn't control her motherly instincts…in that hut were her children. And they were saying that the man who had done so much damage to their family was going to be part of the clan.

After some discussion, various things. How Miles should behave, and what he should do to gain the trust of the clan. The whole family gets up and leaves the mo'at hut. Only Spider, neteyam and you stayed behind. "Y/N… I am proud of you. Your skills have grown so much" says mo'at caressing your face. You get up from the ground, and sit next to Miles. "ahhhh I am happy for you, how do you feel?" you speak. You felt strange talking to him. Days ago he was the soldier you once knew, and now he was a whole new man. You were glad to know that you had had a big impact on his memories, because he still remembered you.

"I'm…I'm happy. But confused" Miles speaks, his ears move back. You can hear spider's sarcastic laugh. You look up and make a face at spider. Spider walks over and sits down next to neteyam, who hasn't taken his eyes off Miles at any point. The two men were sure of something, they had to keep an eye on you at all times. They knew that from now on you were not going to leave his side. "Spider…I think you could help Y/N. Miles needs a lot of help" says mo'at, who was sitting next to you. "And so do you neteyam" mo'at chuckles a little.

Before the two boys could complain, mo'at starts talking. "Yes…you two are going to help Y/N. And I don't want you to be complaining" mo'at says. You chuckle a little, as you adjust a piece of Miles' outfit. He looks at you and gives you a shy smile. "Don't worry… you'll get used to it. And everyone will accept you" you say, smiling.

"Let's see" says neteyam in a low voice, just so spider can hear him. "Yes, I doubt it will come so easily to him," says spider. They both have their arms crossed, you watch them. Could they stop judging him, and understand that miles is not the person who once created the RDA.

Noah't aunts : @st4rrry @valeriinee @inutheangel @gielrmn @sloppierjewel @purple7theparty @itscheybaby @ssc7514 @namorslit @ducks118 @tpwkstiles @elli-aesthetics @nao-cchi @uselessbutinteresting @msjae @austynparksandpizza @gamorxa @andyyy4444 @itssomeonereading @meivap @barbii04 @mm-nope @dorck26 @nessrin @purple7theparty @ssc7514 @sloppierjewel @yeosxxx @legendleopard100 @pandoragalora @jayzes-blog @ducks118 @kyriekurokami @heesoftiefreak @teamanime @d4rno @dumb-fawkin-bitch-bitch @burdeningbitch @allsouls-emma @aceofheartzzz @famousbagelhandspurse @fanficblogs @lilyofthetigers @mjnij @laylasbunbunny

@cherrywinesab @sloppierjewel @bubbleguppy0315 @ellielovesrobinarellano @mrs-sullys-blog @lovekeeho @vectoriscommitingcrimes @kimtaehussy @bimbotinkerbell  @aceofheartzzz @d4rno @3okutos-3ig-toe @bxnnywriting @anarcoirisgatuno @allsouls-emma @luna-ann @vivendominhahistorias @neteyamsgirll @yeosxxx @naynay2808

@neytirisgf @meivap @gamorxa @nuttyrebelflower @lovelyygirl8 @allenparkermin03 @lucero-ksb-blog @neteyamforlife @btslovergirl12 @nuttyrebelflower @artologia-blog1 @sloppierjewel @queen-dk @kurtisamazing @lovekeeho @rebeccao03 @mikeyswifie @im-in-a-pansexual-panik @lu-the-ghost-reader @liluvtojineteyam @vaishureader @rebeccao03 @myh3artttt @pandoramyst @lu-the-ghost-reader

If there is any problem with the tags, let me know and I will try to fix it as quickly as possible. tag list is open, just let me know *3*//

[helenazbmrskai]

Radio Sweethearts (m)

🎧Pairing – [Yoongi x Reader]

🎧Genre – [Brother’s Best Friend Au, Smut, Fluff, Angst, College Au, Slow Burn, Podcast Au]

🎧Summary – [Yoongi have always been your brother’s best friend. You grew up together it was natural that you’ve fallen for him. The question is – does he feels the same? Will he ever see you as more than just his friend’s little sister?]

🎧Warnings – [sibling fall out, age gap, smut: (grinding, oral (f+m), vaginal fingering, oral fixation, cunnilingus, good morning sex, cum play, cum eating, blowjob, handjob, protected sex, dirty talk, multiple orgasms, brief creampie kink mention)]

🎧Word Count – [17k+]

Author Note – This fic is from 2020! It took me a crazy amount of time to spell check and rewrite entire parts to be somewhat good. I hope you will enjoy this project I planned where I rewrite some old fic of mine.

Menu: Masterlist l Be part of my permanent taglist to recieve a notification when I upload a new fic or send an ask!

”Damn Hyung, I can’t believe you outsmarted me in Mario Cart!” Jimin’s yell of utter defeat sounded surprisingly deep, overpowering the annoying music that’s on repeat in the game – coming in contrast with his high pitch usual tone. Yoongi looks pleased with himself his smile is not washed away when Jimin childishly pokes his tongue out at him. Boys will be boys – you think.

The printed words on page 84 – which you’re almost at for thirty minutes without really getting the story to stick in your head – the words are blurring together as you couldn’t ignore the loud noises of your brother’s constant complaints mixing with Yoongi’s soft chuckles that filtered through the white noise and the computer’s constant buzzing with electricity.

As soon as you began to pick up the plot where you left off last night. You are desperately trying to concentrate and get through the whole book in one sitting but your room got ambushed by Jimin and his friend to play their stupid game. Your parents are out on a date and it’s not like your brother would listen to you if you asked him to play games at another time.

You’re eager to finish your mother’s favourite novel by this weekend and give her some feedback on it. The spine of the book seems well worn out from being read so many times by your mother and she excitedly lent you his most prized possession in terms of a materialistic sense when she discovered your newfound interest in reading. You found yourself hooked on the spot from reading the first few pages alone as you started it yesterday but you still have many pages to complete the story.

It seems to be an impossible task now with two loud boys in your baby pink hand-painted room. Your books are tossed to the side along with your barbie CDs as Jimin made room for their snacks that are now emptily scattered around on your desk – without asking for permission first of course.

”It’s not my fault you suck at this, am I?” Yoongi’s reply was almost inaudibly drained out which didn’t surprise you the slightest, taking into consideration how loudly the game’s music was bursting through the speakers and them trying to overpower the sounds with their voices and each other’s. A headache was already forming in the back of your head as you listen to them bicker.

They probably forgot about the fact that you’re in the same room as them.

”Did you practise without me? No way you’re that good! I demand a rematch!”

You lowered your book to rest it on your lap just in time to witness the exchange of how your brother moved an accusing finger in his best friend’s face who shot him an innocent look in return in the next getting offended by your brother’s accusation.

You watch with a disinterested look as they try to get each other into a headlock making the books on your table fall to the floor with a loud thud.

That’s it. This is where you draw the line when you’ve had enough of their antics, disturbing your room and peace.

”Why don’t you use the computer in your room Jimin? Why does it have to be my room you wreak havoc in?”

You’re using big girl words like havoc that Jimin doesn’t understand but he won’t let you make him be the dumb one in front of his older and cooler friend!

You butt in before the brotherly banter could carry on and disarray your room even more – that you undoubtedly will have to clean alone. Even if it wasn’t you who caused it. Your mother taught you to be the bigger person, that boys are growing up later than ladies but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t make your blood boil when you have to let things go in favour to avoid another fight with your brother.

Disbelief dripping from your voice as you place the bookmark over the current page and close the book with more force than intended but that finally earns their full attention.

You doubt you can get things done while you have to listen to them shouting at each other over the loud-ass music that the game plays too many times than necessary so you get up from your bed.

”Because dumb-dumb, your computer is better than mine.” Your brother is ready to throw a tantrum. You knew he was jealous when you got a new computer even though dad tried to talk to him about that feeling jealous is bad for him and you. It just created more space between you.

He obviously still hangs on to the fact that you got a new computer and he hasn’t.

You roll your eyes listening to his childlike antics – he’s such a baby. Sometimes you wonder if he’s really the older one in this blood relation. He may have been born before you were, but you’re definitely the more mature one here. Yoongi sitting beside your brother witnessing your interaction – gives you an apologetic look once your eyes meet but you only let your gaze linger on his face for less than five seconds before you look away.

”Fine. Stay then but I’m leaving,” You say as you don’t find the will in yourself – or in the mood to start another meaningless quarrel with him – you rather choose the option to not put up with him since his friend is also here.

You don’t want to be the evil sibling who doesn’t know how to have fun.

”I’ll be in the living room if you guys need anything.” You stand up with your book tucked under your armpit – ready to get out. It wasn’t an invitation for him to give out demands. He does anyway.

”Bring up drinks if you go downstairs anyway!” That stupid boy doesn’t even look up to say the words to your face as he’s fidgeting with the settings before starting the game up again. Completely missing your face turning red from anger.

You let out a frustrated groan once you step out of the room letting your anger out when no one is looking. You take a deep breath as you descend the stairs. Deep breaths, it doesn’t worth it. You should be the bigger person! ”He’s only five years older.” You murmur under your nose while making your way down to the kitchen to get the stupid drinks.

The audacity your brother has! Huh! You want to dump the drinks on his head instead.

Ever since Jimin started high school following his best friend’s slash neighbour’s footsteps – Yoongi, who’s two years older than him and more mature and cooler than your brother will ever be in your eyes. Being his friend changed him. For the worst. You don’t blame your neighbour for it – you know that this change is because of the things Jimin believes to be true about himself. You’re too young to fully grasp what prompted this change you know that he didn’t have the best time in elementary. He lost weight but his self-esteem needs more time to build up again. He likes to act like the bullying didn’t affect him at all – when you know it’s not true. You heard him crying multiple times when his classmates called him fat, or a pig or ugly. He’s none of that. And instead of finding comfort in you, he decided to withdraw and completely shut you out.

You started to notice little changes in his behaviour at first. You talked less and less – caught him making up excuses to hang out with his other school friends shaking off all your attempts to ask about what’s wrong with him.

If you did something – but the truth was simple. Suddenly his sister was not cool enough to hang out with when he started to grow popular with the other kids. You even caught him sneaking out to go to a party even though he’s still underage!

You contemplate choosing between coke or sprite; standing in front of the fridge for a couple of minutes before coming up with your decision. Going with Yoongi’s favourite drink instead of Jimin’s. You can be pitiful too every once in a while. You stand on your tiptoes to get the glasses from the cupboard arranging them next to the bottle of sprite on the tray.

”I got the drinks.” You try to capture their attention again as you enter your room by placing the tray on the desk. They’re still immersed in the game – Jimin trying hard to win even if Yoongi’s character is way ahead of him in the race. The chocolate wraps scattered on the surface make you grit your teeth in silent anger that you will have to clean your room again.

You’re shaken out of your fuming thoughts when your eyes lock with your neighbour. ”Thank you Y/N.” Yoongi’s polite reply makes a little smile appear in the corner of your mouth, his voice is soothing and deep naturally as puberty hit him hard, but it soon turns into a deep frown as Jimin doesn’t even acknowledge you – instead he has the audacity to whine that you didn’t bring up his favourite drink for him when he sees the sprite on the tray.

”Asshole.” You spew profanities in your head.

You didn’t intend to say your thoughts out loud but you realise the slip of your tongue too late as both Yoongi and Jimin turn to you abandoning their game to look at you with big eyes almost falling out of their sockets. Surprised to hear such vulgar words leaving your mouth.

”W- Who taught you that word? Little girls like you shouldn’t speak like that Y/N.”

The comical way Jimin’s eyes widen and stutter with his words almost makes you laugh in his face (his words struck a chord in you) but you restrain yourself to just simply glare at him. You want to see how he would react if you told him you learned it from the porn videos he forgot to delete on his laptop. You were perplexed when you found his mature movie collection after you borrowed his laptop to finish a school project since your computer gave out – that’s why you got a new one that Jimin got jealous of.

”I’m not a little girl anymore if you haven’t noticed. I’m not five years old anymore and as far as I know, you are not five too so can you please stop whining like you are still in elementary school.”

Jimin seems embarrassed as you blow up – you know that your words hurt him but you couldn’t care less at the moment. It feels good to let all the pent-up frustration out. Your brother’s pride is hurt since his friend is in the middle of this argument and normally you wouldn’t humiliate him like that but enough is enough.

There’s a weird change in your relationship and you’re not used to getting so worked up by Jimin’s antics. He’s supposed to be your partner in crime! You considered your relationship to be fairly close when you were younger. You used to build pillow forts together and talk about the people you liked and disliked.

You don’t know what happened but you’re tired of trying. You muster up your meanest glare before you look away matching his heated gaze and Yoongi is caught in the middle unsure what to do to resolve the sudden tension in the room where both of you are at fault.

If he will be like this then you can change too. You storm out without saying sorry – and you don’t intend to apologise ever. He hurt you too! He never apologised either why should you? You’re not going to be the first to bend to his will anymore and whilst things between you only went downhill after that night – neither of you did anything to stop it. Both of you are too young to understand how it will negatively affect your relationship in the future. If you will regret letting it come to that – or not. Later realising that family is important.

Jimin was about to graduate the year you entered high school. Couldn’t ask for better timing as you didn’t have to deal with his reputation for too long. You were excited to become a freshman – be a big girl and start making your own decisions, prepare for college – but still nothing much changed regarding your relationship with your pompous brother. You had your own friend group and lived in the moment. There were good and bad days. This is how life works.

You two seemed to be drifting further and further apart as you got caught up in your separate lives. Mostly see each other at family dinners.

His friendship with your neighbour grows at the expanse despite the distance. Yoongi finished his studies before either of you did as he’s older than you. The memory is still vivid in your mind when you attended his graduation with Jimin. Your families always liked each other so it was given you attend.

You remember how sad Jimin looked but Yoongi cheered him up making him seal a pinky promise to meet again in College just how they always planned it.

It would be a lie if you said you were never envious of what Yoongi and your brother had.

Remembering the times when it was you who he told everything to and laughed about anything and nothing. They seemed to think alike and always had tons of fun leaving you out. You were jealous of that too. You were young and stupid just like Jimin. You let your frustration out on him when you were wondering behind the scenes – what can Yoongi give him that you can’t, why he doesn’t seem to like your company as much as his. You tormented yourself with these questions for a long time before you learnt to let go.

Even when Yoongi went to College they still talked – significantly less – as Yoongi had so much to do and Jimin was studying hard too to get into the same college as his friend but their friendship never wavered and you envied what they had.

High school was a fresh start for you. You finally realised once Jimin graduated and you were left alone in your small fishing town for the first time – not following your brother’s footsteps. Not seeing your brother or Yoongi for the first time in your daily life came with a lot of realisation on your part. How childish you both were. How in the end blaming the other one for drifting apart is pointless. You fixed your gaze on their backs for so long that you never thought about what you wanted. Blinded by the road they walked on before you. They used to babysit you on many occasions when your parents worked night shifts, you were around them constantly from a young age and throughout the time you fixed on them you watched as both Yoongi and Jimin got older, matured over time and their features became more defined and look more as a man than a boy. They were your role models as you didn’t know better. They were always just there.

They experienced your first period with you. Your mother was out of the house that day so you had no one else besides your brother to ask to buy you pads. You can easily recall even after many years how heated your face was with embarrassment as you told him you got your very first period.

He rushed to the convenience store for you like a headless chicken, leaving Yoongi by your awkward side. He gave you painkillers and rubbed your belly to ease the pain you felt. He reacted less awkwardly to the situation as he was more mature than Jimin at that time and knew more about a girl’s body. He felt like a second brother to you until the year of his graduation.

Then. Everything’s changed.

Yoongi was very thin back then and lanky. You knew that his family had struggles with money because you overheard when your parents conversed that Yoongi’s father lost his job at the company he worked for so their income was cut short. Yoongi often had to save his money to spend it on transportation rather than buying his lunch at the cafeteria as he didn’t want to ask for more money.

Hearing the concerning news you wanted to do something for him, so you woke up extra early to make sandwiches for him so he could eat something during the day. You knew that he always comes early to pick your brother up – waking up before Jimin so your mother lets him in as he waits for your brother to get ready for school and Jimin is sometimes worse than a girl if you consider the time he needs to get ready that you had plenty of time to give Yoongi the lunch you prepared without your brother suspecting anything.

Your master plan was perfect. At first, he was surprised by your kindness he always thought you didn’t like him because, in theory, he took your brother away from you but you never hated Yoongi for that. Knowing about his family’s situation he tried to bashfully decline your offer to make him food so he doesn’t need to buy them with his money. However, you successfully roped him into accepting it as you threatened to tell Jimin about it knowing that he would have made a much larger deal about this than you are. So you started to wake up early to make little sandwiches for him and sometimes he even showed up earlier sitting down and talking with you as you were making him food.

Due to quiet mornings careful not to wake up the house you whispered a lot into each other’s ears.

These mornings continued for a whole year as you visibly grew closer being able to spend some time together without the presence of your brother you started to get what Jimin liked about him as you too wanted to spend more time around him.

There were conversations filled with jokes and other’s were filled with serious talk about the future, getting to know him better you realised that despite how responsible and mature he appears to be on the outside he’s struggling with finding his way, growing up doesn’t seem so appealing after learning the ups and downs.

-

Things started to change in your dynamics when you reached your last year at high school. You met with nice people along the way and did various things – you felt ready to go to college. And what’s a better ending for the year? To get buzzed at a house party in your friend’s opinion.

”Fuck, that tastes like my hand sanitiser.” Yuck. Yeah, you’re not going to drink all of that. You purse your lips tasting the alcohol on your tongue for the first time in a while. You feel the liquid burning your oesophagus all the way down as you swallow the hard liquor.

You resisted the temptation of alcohol and drunk parties because you wanted to study hard to get into a good college after high school. You weren’t even supposed to be here tonight but Eunbi convinced you that there’s no better occasion to drink than the fact that you will finish your studies in less than twenty-four hours. You had to agree.

The last chance to party like a class. A very drunk class.

Your opposition weakened as more and more alcohol got into your system and the party started to get louder – your earlier sentence that you will not stay for long as the graduation ceremony will be held tomorrow morning the idea retreated to the back of your head as your mind got clouded with the booze taking its effect. This is the last time you could spend time with your classmates and everyone seems to have fun, why shouldn’t you do the same?

”Oh my god! Y/N, don’t look, but I think Hongbin is checking you out right now at two o’clock.”

Eunbi squeals as she presents you with her observation grabbing your hand with a grip that almost makes you spill the entirety of your drink onto the floor if It wasn’t for your fast reflexes to reangle the cup before it could come to that. You shake your head at her drunken antics.

You cough when the drink goes down the wrong pipe. ”What is he even doing here? Wasn’t he Jimin’s classmate?” You turn your head to take a glance in the direction she was looking when she painfully squeezes your cheeks to keep your head from turning.

”No! I told you to not look!”

”Ahem. Anyway. I heard that Kyungmin invited him but I thought he was kidding.” She was speaking to the air behind you as she was still eying the boy up and down. Freeing yourself from her grip you step back cautiously trying to prevent her from reaching you if she perhaps decides to try that move again. Her nails digging into your cheek hurt like a bitch.

”He may be looking this way but there are others around us so it doesn’t mean he’s looking at me. How do you know he’s not looking at you?” You take a big sip from your drink – want to desperately forget about boys for a moment – getting better at making a straight face while consuming it so you’re proud of yourself. It either means you’re getting used to the burning taste or you probably should stop drinking before you get so drunk you can’t remember your name and have to ask your brother for a ride home. Brr. Anything but that! You would rather walk all the way home.

Summoning the devil, you sigh when you feel your phone vibrate in your pocket.

You pass your solo cup to your friend – shoving it into her chest to hold it for you while you fish out your phone that keeps vibrating inside your jeans. You’re getting tired of it no matter how much you tried ignoring it. You have to blink a couple of times to keep the letters from coalescing as you read the messages.

All of them are sent by your brother. Typical.

You take a look at the words before locking your phone again without typing out an answer. Eunbi sees the way you roll your eyes even though the kitchen you are currently standing in is dimly lit with disco lights running all over the place.

”Was it your brother again?” She guesses, and she’s absolutely right. She should go and buy a lottery ticket. You snicker sarcastically.

You told mom before you left where you were heading and who you’re going with and she didn’t say much to that – only encouraged you to have fun but be careful knowing that it’s going to be your first ever party and someone might try to take advantage of you if you’re not being careful.

This party is long overdue.

Jimin went to his first party when he was sixteen and he still thinks that mom doesn’t know about that little sneak out and you’re 19 and as Eunbi phrased it, it’s the only time you could drink with your soon-to-be ex-classmates for the last time before everyone scatters around the world choosing different cities to get a degree or some starting work immediately after postgrad.

”He asked when I will arrive home.” You retell the content of his message for her knowing that she’s dying to hear it and it earns giggles from Eunbi, she had a huge crush on your brother when you were freshmen but she got over him for the most part. ”That’s very nice of him.” She beams and you roll your eyes at how obviously she’s acting. The alcohol truly is liquid truth.

”Nice of him my ass. He never cared before what I was doing so he doesn’t get to start now.”

You grit your teeth together in annoyance. A few messages from him won’t make up for the lost times that he ignored you during his high school years or even before that. A how have you been and birthday wishes won’t change that you two drifted apart. Away from family may have triggered his sudden change of heart but you won’t swoon over some half-hearted messages when he’s not making a real effort to fix your broken relationship to stand on the pillars where it stood as you were kids.

He should have thought about the consequences before you prominently drifted apart. Young or not. It feels like you barely know your brother anymore. So many years passed by without talking to each other. Really talking and not just pleasantries on holidays.

”So you won’t reply?” She nudges the hand that held the phone prior, and you shake your head in response.

You were thinking about getting home before midnight but after receiving the texts from him you want to make him worry a little and actually stay here longer than you originally planned. It feels like you two are bringing the worst out of each other. It feels like you’re a little girl again having her pity party. It’s also surprising he’s still up as he must be tired from the car ride all the way here from Seoul. Only here to attend your graduation that’s tomorrow.

”It’s nice of them to come back just to see you graduate.” Eunbi presses the matter, and it turns the channel of your thoughts into the direction where you wouldn’t want them to wander. What you’ve been trying to avoid all night.

To think about Yoongi coming back.

”You’re just saying that because you have a fat crush on my brother and you’re happy you will see him tomorrow.” You wriggle your eyebrows knowingly, and you swear you could see a faint blush creeping up her neck and spreading to make her cheeks appear in a bold red colour. Stuttering when she tries to deny it. She’s actually cute. She deserves better.

”What about you and Yoongi? Are you guys still texting?” Eunbi turns the question around and it’s your cue this time to blush at the mention of his name. Right, the texts.

Jimin doesn’t know that you’re talking to Yoongi, mostly over texts but sometimes you give each other a call if something big happens – it’s not shocking because you rarely text Jimin you mostly exchange birthday wishes and that’s all – but Yoongi talks with him daily so besides that it’s weird he doesn’t know. You have no idea why he’s keeping this a secret from your brother. Not that you expect him to bring it up casually in a conversation as you are not doing anything wrong but text each other so the chances that Jimin didn’t see your name pop up on his screen is almost close to zero. It’s not like you guys are flirting behind his back.

”He didn’t text me today he’s probably tired from packing and coming back, or he’s playing games with my brother. I don’t know.”

Eunbi hums knowingly and you dismiss her suggestive eyes narrowing down on you when you present the face that says it’s no big of a deal. But deep down you’re filled with nerves.

She sees right through you as a best friend should. Knowing fully well that you’re overthinking again, anxious to meet him after so many texts but no face-to-face interaction. The other concern that is plaguing your mind is that you wonder how he’ll act in front of your brother when the three of you get trapped in the same space. Will he be platonically friendly with you like when you were younger? Or he’ll ignore you altogether? You’re afraid to find out which scenario will become a reality tomorrow at your graduation.

-

Your cheeks heat up in embarrassment when you got called out for being at the top of all of your classes. For a moment you were afraid they forgot about you as they choose you as the last person to receive your honours.

You worked hard for your grades so some part of you felt proud because of your achievements but standing in front of a bunch of people knowing that there’s Min Yoongi among the crowd somewhere and hearing the high praises about you renders you into a blushing mess. Not a fan of the limelight.

Throughout your high school years, your grades were always average – not bad but not particularly good either because you were always lazy. You only decided for the last year to work extra hard so you won’t have to be nervous that you won’t meet the requirements of many universities in the area.

You were afraid of not getting accepted and disappointing your family. You only told your mother yesterday which colleges you decided to apply to.

Toying with the edge of your skirt you felt on edge as minutes ticked by and you were getting closer to the end of the ceremony where the flowers will be handed to you.

”I can’t believe my last baby graduated too. Time flies by so fast.” Your mother was the first one to approach your form caging your body into a bone-crushing hug and you hugged her back with the same vehemence. You can see the happy tears shining in her eyes that make you sentimental. Her familiar scent washes over you. You parted from your mother and your dad handed you the bouquet and planted a kiss on your right cheek congratulating you timidly but nonetheless proud of you. You smile back. They show love differently but you know they love you all the same and that’s the only thing that matters in the end. Family is important.

”Mom, what did I tell you about crying at my graduation?” You scolded her lightheartedly but you still smiled at her, not angry at all. It was expected, she cried so hard on Jimin’s graduation.

”Crying? Who’s crying? It’s just that something got into my eyes.” She makes up the least believable lie that makes everyone laugh out loud in your small circle of family.

It’s nice, you feel yourself relaxing as you’re surrounded by your immediate family.

”Congratulation Sis, you got me shocked. The top of the class, huh?”

Letting him envelop you into a loose hug was the weirdest experience in your life you patted his back awkwardly not used to the physical contact he initiated. The light teasing reminded you of the old times so it eases some of the tension you felt building up in your muscles and you managed a genuine smile.

”Thanks for believing I was stupid.” You retort back out of habit, but he doesn’t seem to mind your bratty response as he lets out his signature high-pitched chuckle at your comment.

Only one person is missing. You look behind Jimin searching for Yoongi’s eyes in the crowd, the only person who didn’t congratulate you yet, that you were the most excited and most scared about. You don’t have to wait for long before he appears and your heart hammers away in your chest when he smiles upon seeing you look for him so eagerly.

Once you meet gazes he speaks up. ”Congrats Y/N.”

Mirroring his big smile you let him scoop you up from the safety of the ground and twirl you around with a small chuckle coming from the both of you. You internally squeal. He’s gotten stronger, you can feel his muscles shift against you.

”Thanks Yoongi.” You whisper the words intimately into the space between your bodies but he hears you all the same given how close you are due to the shared hug still not broken apart.

You take a deep breath letting his scent overrule your senses – he may have changed his cologne over the years of knowing him but his different scent never discouraged you, it’s still so unapologetically Yoongi that you could inhale it all night and still have the same calming effect.

”You look beautiful by the way.” He whispered cheekily into your ear for only you to hear – the words were lost in the crowd. Yoongi let his head weight down onto your shoulder to keep the hug comfortable and you welcomed his embrace. It felt right to be in his arms again after so long. Hugs from him were rare even when you were younger but you cherish all of them because you know Yoongi never does something without intent.

The moment, however, soon gets disturbed by someone butting in. ”Ahem,” When Jimin clears his throat behind you urging you two to break the hug you give him an eye roll. Not sure if he’s trying to protect you from Yoongi or all the way around. Your brother destroyed your momentary illusion – again.

-

”How should I cut these?” You pointed in the direction of the vegetables laid out on the counter in front of you on the cutting board, already cleaned and pealed.

The music playing from Yoongi’s phone is relaxing as you cook together after an exhausting day. You’ve been both under a mountain of stress and assignments from college so it’s been a while since you could hang out like this. You missed him a lot.

Yoongi paused what he was doing so that he could take a look at what you were pointing at with your hand.

His lips curled into a pout of concentration you always found cute. He sometimes talked in a pout that was adorable too. ”Huh?” You looked up with a confused expression realising that you were looking at his lips zoning out instead of listening – you saw how his pink lips moved while forming the words but you didn’t hear anything he said.

”I said cut the carrots in half and then cut them into thin slices.” An amused smile stretched across his lips whilst he repeated his instructions, but you turned your head back facing the vegetables to not get distracted again by his good looks as you nodded along this time clearly hearing him.

You started to chop the carrots first while Yoongi turned back to tend to the stew on the stove. You work on separate things for a while in comfortable silence, only the occasional stir of liquid or the knife in your hand making noises besides the music as it meets with the cutting board in fluid and practised motions.

You watched your mom a lot while she was cooking for the family so you weren’t lost in the kitchen per se – but you loved pretending that you don’t know how to make certain meals for the sake of getting lessons from Yoongi who is an excellent cook himself. At first, it was just an excuse to spend time with him but later on, it became your thing to do together.

You have radio sweethearts but it’s more like work – it’s fun to listen to him talk about different topics and hear his side of things. The recordings are always fun but quality time like this is what you think is the most fun to do with him.

He learned it from his brother as you got to know one time the topic came up but on the other hand, he had to take it more seriously when he was living alone in his first year of college. Not having the benefit of getting home from school to a homemade meal waiting for him unless he made it beforehand.

He often cooked to release some steam. No pun intended.

He later moved in with some friends he met in college and later Jimin moved in with them as he got accepted. You were introduced to the whole group later when you started to attend college as well. They’re all nice people and you liked them all – unlike some of Jimin’s high school friends.

They are living in a fairly big house rented from an elderly couple who live the next town over. Seven boys under one roof is a bit chaotic and some might think it will never work out but they make it work and were able to form a fascinating group mixed in terms of age and interest as well.

Yoongi decided to change majors after two years of pursuing something he wasn’t sure of and it meant that despite him starting this process before you did you got the chance of spending some years with him around campus before he graduated.

Some of his friends including your brother are still in college while others already got their degrees.

The front door suddenly slamming shut awakened you from your daydreaming.

The loud sound of the lock clicking into place made you jump up in surprise resulting in nearly chopping your fingers off by accident. You let out a string of curses.

”Finally home, I thought this day will never end.” Picking up Jimin’s voice from the living room you knew he was coming even before he ducked his head into the kitchen.

Jimin’s dirty blond hair styled in curls makes him look like an actual puppy the girls love it – shaking his head from right to left trying to exercise his numb neck he drops his bag from his shoulder and lets it fall to the ground with a big thud.

He’s dropping by the kitchen for a short minute to greet you and Yoongi before he makes his way into his room with quick steps.

-

Interacting with your brother without arguing all the time got better with time when you decided to attend the same college and you were forced to see him more often.

There are still plenty of things left to fix between you but you see him try harder than before to be a better brother to you. You promised Yoongi you’ll go easy on him since he’s trying. Things won’t go back to the way it was before but you’re welcoming this new change in his behaviour. He’s trying at least and you appreciate it even if you don’t say it out loud.

”Wanna watch a movie after we’re finished?” Yoongi asks while dropping the vegetables into the soup that you just cut. No longer having any task to carry out you step beside his much larger form to observe him season the dish – you lean against the counter as you watch him stir and add more stuff to the mixture.

”Sure.” You say, accepting the soy sauce from his hands to put it away and help him clean up. Lunch is almost ready.

You go to call the others.

-

You take one side of the earphones out of your ears as you stand in front of the rented Studio blowing some hot breath into your freezing fingers as you wait.

You knock impatiently as you move your weight from leg to leg, your limbs feel frozen as you walked in the cold. Your lecture ended pretty late because the professor kept rambling on and it meant you were running late and you missed the bus so you had to walk from your dorm room to here.

Yoongi was wearing a black turtle neck jumper with some blue jeans when he opened the door for you, his parted hair almost long enough to reach the bottom of his ear, as always, he looks good as he stands in the doorway taking in your slightly shaking form.

”Are you cold?” His voice is laced with concern while he runs his hands up and down the length of your arms on both sides to warm you up with friction. Your body heats up but not for the same reason he thinks as your pulse picks up from his proximity.

You nod obediently scooting closer to his frame searching for his heat. You shouldn’t have listened to today’s weather forecast and left your scarf at home.

But you can’t complain as it presented you with the perfect opportunity to be in your friend’s arms. Your brother’s best friend’s arms who you’re secretly in love with. Ever since you were a high schooler – but act natural!

Draping an arm over your shoulder Yoongi beckons you to move further away from the door as he closes it after you. Your cheeks and nose resemble a rosy red colour from the wind’s harsh blowing even though you felt cold – you still decided to get rid of your jacket and let the article hang on the arm of the chair.

The studio has a portable heater so you’ll be warm in no time.

”Ready?” You hope your voice rightfully conveys your excitement – today’s topic is love and you can’t wait to discuss the questions your other teammates put together for you – despite how you need to physically hold yourself back from giving in to the clashing of your teeth.

You wrap your fingers around the solo cup that contains a steaming hot coffee it’s probably Yoongi’s fill for the day from his favourite cafe place but you’re sure he won’t mind you using it as a handwarmer for a bit.

”Let’s check the script before we start.” The boy sitting next to you suggests and you nod in agreement. You’re professionals. Placing the coffee down as your fingers started to warm up the temptation to take a sip is too great so you let go.

As if reading your thoughts Yoongi holds it up for you to take again with a small gummy smile. ”Drink up, it’s yours. I already finished mine.” Sensing the dilemma you were having – Yoongi urges you to drink the coffee whilst it’s hot and you accept it gladly, with your free hand you pull up the document your team came up with last week when you had the meeting about the future content of radio sweethearts. You were distracted by Yoongi’s attire so don’t remember in detail what you discussed – it seemed like he was going on a date but you were too chicken to ask if it was true. It put a damp in your mood for the entire evening.

The podcast was originally Namjoon and Yoongi’s idea and the name they had in mind was far from radio sweethearts if you remember correctly it didn’t really have a name yet – the title only contained numbers generated by the computer itself when they aired their first attempt.

Nana a new addition to your friend’s group and you joined in later as hosts.

They started with minimal equipment and experience in this field – doing it to only have fun – the recordings didn’t bring much success in the first couple of episodes that’s when they joined heads and attempted to make the podcast more interesting so more people will listen to them.

They wanted to talk about various topics while still delivering good music in between discussions. They didn’t want to focus on only one thing.

They wanted to put together a wide range of programs where all students in your college could find something that interested them. They were not driven by popular opinions all they wanted is to give young ones – who are still in the process of figuring out their lives – something that could benefit them all in all aspects of life.

Take a little load off their shoulders with funny topics. The goal they had in mind was that students can relax while listening to the podcast and have fun, the program plan they came up with was manifold – starting from open hours where students have the opportunity to ask for advice on the many topics that have been discussed by the hosts day by day.

Nana and you immediately fell in love with the idea. It was actually her who came up with the concept that we should pair up and take turns in recording stuff.

It allowed you to catch up with schoolwork as you only needed to record once every two weeks but the main reason was that the representatives of both sexes may listen so why not make a duo consisting of a girl and a boy to meet everyone’s needs.

It helps with the topic discussions as boys cannot speak in the girls’ place and vice versa.

The pairings were obvious from the start since you and Yoongi gravitated toward each other naturally. Namjoon and Nana are a perfect match as well – usually, they are the ones who like to talk about love life and they even came up with a special feature on Fridays that anonymously you can confess to a loved one by sending in a love letter. It has been a huge success.

Yoongi and you, on the other hand, often discuss heavier topics – like mental illness or burnout to let the listeners know that they are not alone because when you are dealing with your struggles you often forget the fact that someone else might be struggling with the same things and whilst it doesn’t help you with your problem it’s good to know you’re not alone. Some discussions are heavier – some are lighter and today it’s the latter. You’re in the mood for a funny and lighthearted conversation.

The recordings with Yoongi always go smoothly. It could be because these talks remind you of when you were younger and chit-chatted about different things in the kitchen. Always feels natural to share your thoughts with him and he’s relaxed in your presence as well. You think this is why you make a great team.

Taking the first sip out of the cup the rich texture and delicious sweet caffein melted your downcasted mood – the coffee got the job done by warming your insides. While Yoongi took care of the heat of your cheeks by leaning in close to see the script.

”How about we switch this part.” You thought aloud – leaning forward in your chair. Trying to act like his closeness doesn’t affect you but you push your thighs together under the table in nervous jitters. ”Let’s talk about the holiday and foods first to set the mood for the winter break.” Yoongi hums considering your suggestion. Going with what you suggested in the end, changing the outline to favour your idea clicking and typing away on the computer scanning the outline. You can’t help but look at his hands flying across the keyboard the veins producing from the skin as he moves them expertly.

You push that thought away before it can affect you and you decide it’s best if you concentrate on your tasks.

After you’ve finished fixing the minor changes in the plot Yoongi checks the equipment as you test the mics that they turn on alright and start the prerecording soon after. The chair squeaks as he leans back to take up a comfortable position – hard in work mode – again fixing your mics and testing if your voices are not lumpy before starting. You always thought he’s sexy when he’s concentrating on something. You can see the passion in his eyes when he does the things he likes and you can’t get enough of his visuals.

”Welcome back everyone. My name’s Yoongi and as expected, Y/N and I are back with a new episode of Radio Sweethearts.” The smirk only you can see sends you to heaven you can’t help but smile back. It’s showtime.

-

Surrounded by mostly boys sometimes even you forget that you’re a girl. You like to paint your nails and you have a fascination with sparkly and cute stuff. Glitter yes. Pink – is not your thing but baby pink is acceptable. If there’s one thing you hate as a girl is shopping for stuff. Not to say – gift shopping. Your biggest nightmare is that you have to think about what the other person might like or doesn’t like. You were never good at gift shopping. Jimin’s birthday is just around the corner and you’re out of ideas on what to get him. In other words, you’re screwed.

He doesn’t need any more clothes – he has too much already that he even gave you some as he stated he won’t wear them anymore so here you have it use it for sleepwear or whatever giving him a book would be pointless as he’s barely reading his textbooks.

You ponder if you should just go the easy way and get him some new video game or a useful electronic gadget as he seems to be interested in making music with Jungkook these days but it would be too impersonal. You look for your wallet in your bag to check how much can you even afford for his gift when you bump into a hard chest on your way to the first shop you’ve seen from afar. You let out a small ouch when your nose collides with a chest and you rub it once you get some distance in between you and the stranger before you look up.

”Sorry I wasn’t looking where I was – going.” You haven’t seen this handsome stranger before but the city is big and you’re not very outgoing.

The first thing you see is that he has a lot of tattoos even more than Jungkook and he has a lip piercing and one on his nose.

”I wasn’t paying attention either. No worries.” The stranger strokes the back of his neck after he asks if your nose is alright, his smile is cute and dimpled.

You dismiss his concerns shyly, fuck this is awkward. He’s not scary at all even though he could be the lead vocalist of a punk group band for all you know. He looks like a charmer and only a bit scary when he smirks at your timid behaviour. Your eyes go to his lips as he bites his lip ring.

”Would I be too forward if I were to ask for your number?” You were not expecting that and your eyes widen in response. Yes – he’s handsome but you’re not exactly ready to date.

”I- I don’t even know your name.” You’re speechless. You look to the side – looking for an escape route before you make this situation even more awkward. You didn’t think he would try to hit on you!

”Where are my manners my name is Horo. Have you heard of bleeding butterflies before? It’s my band’s name. We’re having a show at the local bar tonight. I would be happy to see you there sweetheart.” And then he winks. Oh my. You’re in trouble.

The name doesn’t ring any bell even if the guy seems confident that it would change your mind and suddenly worship the ground he’s walking on.

You avoid eye contact looking around in case you would see a familiar face. You know you should say no, he would probably understand and don’t try to pursue you but you can’t seem to will yourself to do it. Relief washes over you when you spot Yoongi’s black hair in the crowd but that smile soon freezes on your face when you see a hand attached to him. They are not holding hands but her hand is looped in his. A hand that belongs to a woman around his age in formal office wear – looking like a couple out shopping. He laughs at something she says when suddenly your eyes meet and you look away in panic. The only thing you can look at is the guy’s expectant face.

”I will think about it.” You offer him a smile – not in the mood to shop anymore and risk seeing Yoongi with his date. You go and hide in the lady's bathroom.

Horo only let you go after you took the paper he handed to you with his number on it asking you to call him if you decide to go to the show and you nodded with no further promises. Your heart is already taken by someone else – and you’re not ready to let this feeling go anytime soon. Even if you have to suffer seeing Yoongi with another woman. Because you’re selfish. You want him to be happy but you want him to be happy with you and it makes you feel like you’re a bad friend.

You open a bottle of wine at home momentarily forgetting about Jimin’s upcoming birthday and Horo and the gift shopping you didn’t do as you gulp down the content of your glass in your dark apartment. Wallowing in self-pity.

-

”Oh, Yoongi what are you doing here?” You shouldn’t be as surprised as you are to see him. You were ignoring his texts and not answering his calls – you should have expected him to come and check up on you.

You’re forced to look up because of your closeness, him a few heads taller than you so you have to tilt your head back a little to see his face fully as a deep frown climbs its way up to his features. You look dishevelled, your hair is a bird's nest and there are big circles under your eyes. Every sign shows your distress and Yoongi is concerned. He’s sizing your body up silently from the tip of your sockless toes and bare legs to the outworn black t-shirt that you were sleeping in – a new addition to your collection from your brother. Just an old band t-shirt with a faded logo.

You were not bothering to change as you weren’t going to leave the house for a while so his unannounced arrival was, to say the least – caught you off guard.

”You didn’t answer any of my texts or calls. I was worried. Did something happen? Are you alright?”

You know he probably noticed that you didn’t invite him in like you usually do. You didn’t hug him and you always hug him when you’re upset and he pretends that he doesn’t like it when internally he’s smiling – you’re not following tradition. It makes his suspicions justified that it connects to him – and you’re acting strange because of something he did. He just has to figure out what so he can fix it. He doesn’t like to see you like this.

”It’s not the best time Yoongi – I’ll text you later, okay?”

You sound tired which makes him more determined. He could tell that you want to be alone and it’s your subtle way of telling him to back off but he’s not letting you off the hook. Yoongi slips his feet between the door before you could close it – knowing you well enough that you won’t call or text you just wanted him to be gone by offering an empty promise. He knows all your tactics by now. He’s getting frustrated that something is clearly on your mind but you try to avoid the conversation. What is it that you can’t tell him? You’ve always come to him when you had problems. Why now you decide not to? The suspense makes him go crazy as he awaits your next move.

Half expecting you to shut the door on his face anyway but instead, you sigh and open the door wide enough for him to slip inside the comfort of your home.

His gaze fixates on the pictures on your wall – it’s you with friends and family and a few of them just of the two of you.

You’re not ready for this conversation but Yoongi doesn’t give you much choice.

”No you won’t. You are avoiding me and I just want to know why.”

His gaze turns pleading as he desperately tries to keep your eye contact – hoping that he can read something from them but to no avail. He wants to know why you’re acting so strange when everything was fine the last time you saw each other and now suddenly you don’t want to do anything with him and go as far as to lie to his face.

You’re confusing him even if the answer should be obvious from a bird's view.

He caught your gaze at the mall but you disappeared so suddenly that he wasn’t so sure it was you in the end. It could have been just someone who looked similar to you.

Seeing him with a woman on a date made you feel like you were back at high school protecting a stupid crush as a teenager. It’s been a while since Yoongi had a girlfriend so you didn’t have to confront your feelings. You should start – as this time is good as any. You can’t run away from your feelings forever and dismissing them was not doing you any good. Or your friendship with Yoongi. You know that this will eventually tear it apart if you keep it bottled up inside.

You never pictured a world where you were not standing beside Yoongi and Jimin on either side of you.

It’s a tough decision that has to be done if you want your friendship to last. You need some time apart.

”I think we need some time apart.” Your words are sudden and it makes Yoongi realise the problem is a lot bigger than he originally thought. This thing you’re not telling him runs deeper. You look sad but determined and Yoongi is afraid if he lets you go if he accepts – you might never come back. He refuses to let you go without a fight. He’s not the best with words but you surely know how important you are to him right? Was he not forward enough? Did you think he didn’t see you as a friend? That you’re just his best friend’s little sister? Yet – you’re so much more than that to him.

It even scares him sometimes.

”W –,” It’s the first time he’s completely lost for words to say – his pupils dilated in shock – as he steps back from the sheer absurdness of your behaviour. ”What? What’s that supposed to mean? No. We don’t need time apart. All you need to do is to talk to me and we can fix the problem together. Like we always do.”

Yoongi startles you by grabbing your hand as if he was afraid you will disappear into thin air in your own apartment. He’s not hot-headed but your behaviour throws him off.

He holds you like his life is depending on it and your heart aches – you don’t like seeing him so lost and helpless. He doesn’t know what to say or do to make this right and that terrifies him.

”You can’t fix my feelings Yoongi. Let me just think okay? I just need some time alone. Can you leave please?” You don’t want this to be harder than it already is but Yoongi is not letting you go. The gesture makes your heart flutter even if you tell yourself you shouldn’t react that way if you want to salvage your friendship.

Pulling your hand away felt wrong and you hated every second of it but it was a necessary moment of pain that you need to endure. It had to be done. Friends shouldn’t be jealous when they see their friend with another woman.

Even in high school, you were holding onto a sliver of hope that someday Yoongi will look at you the same way you look at him. You rejected a couple of boys who wanted to date you and lied to your friends that you’re just not interested in men yet. You focused on school instead.

You achieved your goal – you’re living in the same city going to the same college – got closer with time, you do things together without your brother and you know a lot about him, that you could fight Jimin for the title of his best friend.

But being his friend doesn’t seem to be enough. You want more than just platonic friendship. You want to hold his hand, kiss him and tell him that you love him. You want him to call you his girlfriend when he introduces you to new people.

He would be probably shocked to hear you say that out loud. You always thought that you were out of his league. You’re seven years younger – a girl with little to no experience whilst he’s probably looking for a woman who already has a stable career and she’s ready to start their life.

Your brother wouldn’t approve – he will think you’re trying to steal his best friend away from him.

You don’t want things to get awkward and that means you need to take a step back. Not sure if a confession now would do you any good at this point.

”I’m not leaving when you’re like this. Not until you tell me what’s gotten into you.”

His frown deepens when you refuse to meet his eyes.

This is not how you face problems. Not with him. You spent many late nights talking facing the wall with Yoongi laying beside you on your bed. The atmosphere surrounding you is different. It’s suffocating you both.

”We are friends right?” The question itself would be a simple one if your feelings weren’t so complicated and all over the place. Yoongi is confused – it shouldn't even be a question in his opinion.

The answer comes fast. ”Of course we are friends.” Yoongi watches you and tries to read your body language.

”Well that means I can’t tell you, friends shouldn’t say things like that.” Your focus is on a little crack on the wall avoiding his eyes makes the talking easier.

A tiny light appears at the end of the tunnel that seems to spark recognition in him but it soon fades as he quickly dismisses the possibility.

”What’s that supposed to mean? Tell me Y/N.” Yoongi grabs your shoulders in a last desperate attempt to make you look at him tired of you keep beating around the bush without saying anything. He wishes you could just say it.

”I shouldn’t be in love with you but I am.”

”I’ve liked you for years and when the other day I saw you with that beautiful woman- it looked like you’re on a date and I got jealous. I’m sorry.”

Words spill out after you start.

”Y- You love me?” Yoongi can’t seem to process it, the confession genuinely seems to surprise him and makes you feel more disappointed – that the idea didn’t even cross his mind.

Yoongi is quick to grab your forearm to stop you from moving away in shame. You want the ground to swallow you whole to save you from his rejection. He just needs a minute to think about this. He’s not rejecting you but it looks like it to you.

”No don’t go! Wait.” He panics eyes large and observant. ”Don’t go. Don’t hide from me, let’s talk about this.” He needs to think carefully as it looks like you could start crying at any moment. His grip on your arm is gentle you could have easily freed yourself from it – but something in his eyes makes you stop and wait. Yoongi looks like he’s thinking hard about the things you told him.

He’s thoughtful like always. Don’t want to hurt your feelings. He listens to you and considers the words he wants to reply with – this situation is no different. He’s searching for the right words that could best convey his inner thoughts and he’s struggling to find them.

”It’s ok Yoongi. You don’t have to say anything really, you are not responsible for what I feel. I understand that you don’t feel the same way- I’m a big girl I can handle rejection.”

”Stop talking. Who says anything about rejection.” You gulp when he takes a step closer his piercing gaze holding you captive. His confidence gives you a sense of wishplash. You take a step back in turn but Yoongi follows your movement holding you by the back of your head so you can’t move away this time. He rests his forehead on yours – takes your breath away with how close he’s getting. You’re confused but your heart is beating like crazy in your ribcage from joy. His face is coming impossibly close which makes you think he’s going to kiss you. You really wish he did.

The fingers in your hair started moving caressing your scalp with gentle touches and twisting the ends. Your eyes close on their own accord your lips part to say something but nothing comes out as you enjoy the feeling of his fingers playing with your hair.

Is this a dream? It certainly feels like it. Placing a thumb on your cheekbone Yoongi outlines your face with careful strokes. ” Since when do you like me? Answer me Y/N.”

Wettening your dry lips you gather the courage to search for an answer in his dark pools of blackness. You tell him everything. The moment you fell in love with him. Everything you’ve been feeling but was too afraid to voice out. He knows now that you’re in love with him and it makes you vulnerable. Does he feel the same? What does this position mean to him?

Is it possible it’s not just you? You see him follow the motion of your mouth – placing a finger over your soft lips before looking up to meet your vulnerable gaze.

”Please Yoongi tell me you like me too.” You know he wouldn’t play with your feelings like that – but you need to hear it. You’re scared. You want this to be true. Yoongi sees the distress on your face and straightens the lines on your forehead with his fingers.

”I had a long and very awkward talk with Jimin on the day of your graduation that you probably don’t know about. You turned 19 so I wanted to ask him if it would be okay to ask you out on a date. He didn’t want to let me but I insisted until he agreed.” Yoongi cringes as he remembers the conversation.

You tilt your head to the side it’s the first time you’re hearing this. Jimin never mentioned it but it’s not like you guys talked a lot. Your heart sinks to the bottom of your stomach at the realisation that he had the permission to ask you out but he chooses to not act on it. Does this mean he changed his mind?

”What happened? Why didn’t you ask me out then?” You need to know why he never said a word about this before. Why he never asked.

”I overheard your conversation with your friend before the dinner celebration. You said you’re not interested in dating and you would say no if anyone asked. I know it’s silly but I chickened out because of it.” Yoongi looked away bashfully, the confusion dissolved and a new kind of realisation took its place. That conversation…oh no. You remember that conversation.

Your friend tried to convince you to date Hongbin – that guy who was Jimin’s classmate. You didn’t want to obviously because even back then you were in love with Yoongi.

-

You started laughing at the absurdness of the situation. If you don’t pick up that call maybe you would be together or at the very least he would have asked you out. You had no idea he heard you, but it makes sense he thought you would reject him.

”You’re stupid. I said that because I didn’t want to date Hongbin because I was already in love with you.”

It’s hard to believe for all those years he liked you, Yoongi, your friend. The best kind of adrenalin is surging through your entire body and it helps you make a bold decision as you place a chaste kiss on his mouth, just a quick press of lips but you feel like you’re swimming in between the clouds.

”Fuck. That sucks but I’m glad at least I know now. We could always make up for the lost time.”

The curse word that left his lips is sexy. It makes you feel things. He’s thinking about something else – less sexual – as his eyes close in frustration, probably thinking that you two would have been together for years if he properly made a move on you.

His eyes fixate on your lips, capturing the flesh of your bottom lip with purpose. Asking for permission to enter the cave of your mouth – to make up for lost times. You taste each other for the first time as your tongues dance together feverishly. A moan is swallowed by his lips and you get lost in his touches.

-

After that hot first kiss, Yoongi stayed the night and more kisses were shared between the sheets more pure and innocent ones as you fell asleep in each other’s embrace.

The lego pieces are finally put together.

And things drastically changed between you. A welcomed change. –You went on cute dates and held hands in public you were over the moon. He finally introduced you as his girlfriend. No one seemed surprised and even Jimin congratulated you without any remarks added in the end.

Kissed in his room when no one was looking with you perched on his lap which led to heated make-out sessions but nothing crazy took place. You didn’t have sex yet. Yoongi wanted to take it slow for you and you agreed. You just wanted to be with him.

-

”What are you up to shortcake?” His head lay heavily on your shoulder to look over what you were doing. You smiled at the nickname – you didn’t think he would be a guy to be into that but you were pleasantly surprised that he liked to call you sweet names when it was just the two of you.

You turned your head to peck his cheek before you focus back on the movie playing on the tv.

”Just watching something on the tv.” You replied sweetly. Yoongi had to finish his project for a class so you haven’t seen him exit his bat cave – he’s been cooped up in his room all day only coming out to make more coffee. He ate the food you prepared in his room still rehearsing his work.

Yoongi occasionally surprised you by kissing the top of your head as he was passing by the living room to the coffee maker – appreciating your presence even if you were doing different things. You came over because you missed him but you respect his will to finish his work first.

”I’m almost done.” He promises with another kiss. You’ve been hearing him say that for the last couple of hours.

The day went by fast while you were relaxing but you’re still surprised by how dark it is outside when you look over to the window. You should leave soon if you want to catch the last bus home.

Yoongi seemingly lost track of time too because when you step into his room he’s deeply engrossed in his work still. You found him leaning over his equipment making adjustments when you cleared your throat to catch his attention.

Confused about why you’re wearing your coat and appear to be ready to leave but it takes one look at the clock to realise the time. This is around the time you would normally leave because of your bus. He peeks at the clock rereading the time as he sheepishly strokes the side of his neck - you see that an apology coming before he even starts forming the first syllable.

”You don’t need to apologise. Your work is important but it’s getting late and I should catch my bus. I came to tell you.” You showed him a tired smile.

You stayed up late to finish your assignments. You haven’t got much sleep as you wanted to come here first thing in the morning to see Yoongi. You’re sad that you couldn’t spend much time with him but you don’t blame him for being busy. Exams are coming up and you know you won’t be able to meet for a while. You know how much this degree means to him. He’s getting busier as he gets closer to the finishing line.

”Come here baby.”

Yoongi pouts and beckons you to get close you can’t say no to that face. Even though you should really leave if you want to arrive home before it gets too dark.

”You should get some rest too, you’re working so hard. I’m very proud of you, you know that right?”

Carding your fingers through his hair lazily – his hands circle around your waist. Getting comfortable as he rests his head on your chest and pulls you to stand between his legs. Yoongi starts kissing his way up on your neck before he invites your mouth to mould against his in a sweet kiss.

”I don’t deserve you. You’re too good to me.” Caressing your hipbone his fingers dip lower as he drags his warm palm over your thighs. ”So. Good. I’m. The. Luckiest guy. In. The. World.” Stressing the words out between kisses he delivers each caress of his lips with care and love. He misses you too. You smile into the last one before pulling back removing the dark locks that dare to interfere with his vision with delicate hands. It feels nice. You don’t want this moment to end but you really have to get ready to leave.

”Baby, are you trying to distract me so I would stay the night?” Yoongi’s ears turn pink shifting uncomfortably as soon as he got caught in the act of his coy. This shy and affectionate side of him causes your heart to skip several beats.

It’s always endearing to see him squirm under your observant gaze he always has new ways to show you why you fell in love with him in the first place.

”I’ll stay, but..” You emphasize the ’but’ that results in another pout from the man in front of you.

”You have to say it. Say you want me to stay.” You say it in a sing-song voice. You give him a peck on the lips that he tries to chase after you pull back but you don’t let him deepen it not before he tells you.

He’s not the most verbal man out there, but you don’t mind that you have to work for his affection from time to time and he always gives you what you want in the end. He can’t resist you.

”Please, stay.”

And you do.

-

You’re subconsciously rolling to the other side of the bed to feel his body next to yours – you search for Yoongi’s hand blindly under the covers without making a real effort to open your eyes.

There’s morning light filtering through the curtains but you have no desire to move.

It’s cold outside the covers so you abandon your side of the bed to scoot closer to Yoongi’s warmth who’s still fast asleep. The moment feels domestic as you carefully rest your head on his chest. You would love to wake up to this every day.

-

His eyelashes flutter kissing the skin of his cheek at your cold touch and his lips move in a pout. His breathing evening out – you trace patterns on his smooth skin and follow the dip of his collarbone and shoulder blades with your fingertips. Your lips map out the same path before you arrive at his slightly furrowed brows in his sleep and you place a light kiss there – a little secret between you and his body.

You’re laying on the bed wide awake listening to both of you breathing.

You take a deep breath and prop yourself up on your elbows facing your sleeping beauty boyfriend and watch his eyelids twitch with motion. Careful to keep your touches light you place a few curly strands of hair behind his ears. You don’t want to wake him up. He’s just so unresistible you can’t keep your hands to yourself.

You stop before you could get too carried away and wake him up for real so you roll to your side to get to your previous position maybe try to get back to sleep as well. Unaware that he’s already up enjoying your sweet touches. Sleepy Yoongi has other plans as he pulls you back by tangling his fingers into your bed hair and pulling you on his lips.

He doesn’t guide your head further as you take control of the kiss. More than eager to continue what he started. He’s following your lead like he’s in hypnosis – in between the line of being asleep and awake you hold his cheeks in your palm and caress the soft skin there tenderly. Your lips are dreamy, warm and wet when you push your tongue beyond the seam of his lips and taste him with a flick of your tongue over the roof of his mouth. You drink up his moans and seal them against your lips.

”Good morning.” You smile into one of his kisses.

You’re licking into his mouth as if he’s the first drop of water to your dry throat you’re greedy, you’re growing impatient with your exploration – you want to drown in his taste his scent. It all surrounds you like a warm blanket.

”Morning.”

You comfortably lay your body weight on him after he encourages you to get on top with little taps of his fingers on your hipbone. Palm flattening across your skin as his firm hold closes around your waist. He’s so sexy you enjoy morning Yoongi a lot and his voice is so deep when he just woke up.

You have to break the kiss eventually to come up for air and his lips move to your neck.

He couldn’t bear the thought of not tasting your skin. Yoongi’s mouth moves down exploring the unmarked canvas of skin and leaving reminders for later scraping the sensitive flesh with his teeth just to run his hot tongue over the abused area soothing the pain with kitten licks. Igniting a fire in the pit of your belly. Your panties are soaking wet and clinging to your folds begging to be touched.

Your core throbs when his teeth enclose your earlobe and he nibbles. You shiver and writhe under his skilful lips and fingers. Your thighs rub together still tangled in the sheets when his hands explore your bare back under the oversized shirt. The shirt you borrowed from him hides you well but gives him more room to roam underneath the fabric. He likes to see you in his clothes but he would like it better if it would be on the floor already.

He’s feeling for the clasp of your bra his mind all over the place but realises you don’t have one on and it just makes his job easier. Also, who wears their bra to sleep? Big hands grip your waist and move your body back and forth for delicious friction and your mind go blank. His long fingers are digging into the flesh of your ass as he uses his strength to move you.

You both start panting and your heart is picking up speed – the volume of his moans increases as you roll your hips naturally placing your bodies together like puzzle pieces. You can feel your body heat up from the intimacy of what the position brings and your head is still foggy with the aftermath of sleep as dormant desires take control.

”You’re so fucking beautiful.”

You feel dizzy as your back meets the comforter Yoongi hovering over your heated body barely covered by his shirt and your panties. He whispers sweet nothings into your ear distracting you from his insistent biting and licking the flesh behind your ears before he continues his descend. Following the lines and curves of your body with his hands and mouth – not leaving an inch of your skin unloved. Not moving lower until he kissed an apology to every bruise and hickey he sucked onto your immaculate skin. Proudly coating his gifts in his saliva leaving a wet trail between your breasts.

”Can I?” Your heart flutters as he asks for permission. You say yes in a heartbeat.

Yoongi rolls your shirt up until the fabric is stretched around the upper side of your boobs. Showering your collarbones with kisses before rolling the material up further to lick a fat stripe starting from your stomach to the underside of your heaving breasts.

”Yoongi-ah fuck please.” Pushing the shirt up entirely he has the best view of your naked chest moving rapidly up and down with each breath. His warm palm covers your perky mound before he leans down to suck a nipple into his wet mouth and suck a bruise onto the underside of your breast as he kneads the other one like it’s silky dough using circular motions to toy with your pink nipple.

The way his soft hair brushes against your skin with every lick and suck adds to the sensation. You can’t keep your eyes open as the overwhelming feeling of his mouth devouring your flesh numbs everything else. Pale fingers slide easily over your tits that are slick with his spit trailing the other one and down following the lines of your ribcage to find the last barrier separating your bodies. Your underwear.

Reaching for one of his hands you intertwine them next to your head kissing him with renewed fervour you don’t want him to ever stop touching you. Gripping his hand tighter Yoongi’s lips turned more eager to reintroduce himself to your taste. Kisses turning open-mouthed. The clash of teeth and tongues fighting for dominance.

Stretching the fabric to accommodate two of his fingers he first begins by rubbing slow shapes over your puffy lips collecting your arousal and rubbing it onto your clit in figures. Parting your folds to feel your wet heat directly on his fingers he dips the first digit in – just the tip.

Your core throbs under his touch and a whiny moan climb its way up your throat the sound elicits him to smile into the valley of your breasts.

Yoongi enters the first digit fully but it leaves your warmth too soon as your walls try to keep him inside. Your boyfriend chuckles into your clammy skin your pussy eagerly tightens around his leisure fingering. Peppering your stomach and tits with kisses before he hooks his index into the band of your underwear and starts sliding down the material down your legs agonisingly slowly.

Your arousal is smeared around your thighs as your panties are removed. You hide behind your hands as he opens up your legs exposing your core to the cold morning air and his ogling eyes. Yoongi caresses your legs up and down to help you calm down and get over your embarrassment of being nude in front of him for the first time.

His fingers leave a wet trail behind as he grips your inner thighs to keep them apart. You yelp when he plunges the first finger back into your core without warning.

There’s no place for shyness. His hungry eyes shamelessly follow the movements of his one digit as he thrusts it in and out of your fluttering hole. Curling it to find the spot that makes you moan the loudest and use it against you to fuck the shyness out of you.

You don’t need a wild imagination to picture his smirking face behind your eyelids – watching each twitch of your lips and every flutter of your eyelashes to his fingers curling and uncurling in you.

The stretch fades soon that he needs to add another finger in the mix. He starts preparing you for his cock.

Your eyes are dreamy prettily glossed over as you watch Yoongi work his magic your mouth open with the sole purpose to call out his name.

His eyes never leave you as he commits every inch of your body into memory. Monitoring your reactions and filing them into little boxes in his mind to remember for later. His touches adjust to your needs.

He knows how to introduce the third finger without that uncomfortable burning stretch dulling your pleasure. It seems like he already figured you out.

Pushing you closer to the edge of your first orgasm for the day and it’s only just the beginning. If he knows how to use his dick half as good as he fingers you open with his long pale digits you don’t think you’ll ever have to fake an orgasm again.

He figured out every weakness of yours in minutes. Knows where to curl or how hard to go for your eyes to roll to the back of your head.

Yoongi licks his lips at the visual of your pink tones glistening in the morning light. You feel his hair brush against your thighs first then his tongue flatten over your rosy bud.

You’re moving with him like clockwork following the rhythm he dictates bucking into his fingers when they’re knuckles deep in your cunt until you’re creaming around his fingers with his lips attached to your enlarged clit.

He had to press down with his free hand on your stomach to keep your hips pinned to the bed as the waves of euphoria washed over you.

Having to multitask between holding you down and flicking his tongue over your nub as you cum around his fingers makes it messy. Your cum drips down his hands thickly that he eagerly swallows up. Cleans around your folds until his entire face is drenched in your juices.

You’re too spent to hit him when he looks down on you with a pleased look etched into his features. Almost cocky.

Inserting three of his fingers into your sensitive core makes you mewl. It’s too soon to not hurt a little. They glide inside of you effortlessly. You’re not ready to feel his tongue toying with your clit or his fingers move inside you in scissoring motions. You let out a loud moan you feel your pussy pulse and contract around his digits.

The stretch fades when he removes his fingers in a sudden decision just as sudden as he sank them in you. His mouth collects the wetness oozing from your core pushing it back into your walls with his pink muscle. Prodding your hole with the tip of his tongue a couple of times not reaching as deep as his fingers but managing to keep you on your toes. Just tethering over the edge but never pushed over – until his finger joined forces on your clit and started rubbing you in tight circles while his tongue continuously lapped at your essence burying his face in your cunt.

”Good girl. Just like that- fuck. Cum around my fingers again.” You came a second time with your entire body shaking in his hold his fingers slipping inside. A fresh gush of your cum is welcomed by Yoongi’s greedy mouth as he holds your legs apart and helps you ride out the rest of your high with lazy laps across your core.

The room spins around you when you finally open your eyes to look at him. Still licking the remains of your orgasm out of your sensitive cunt collecting the droplets of your post-orgasmic bliss but he obediently climbs your body to meet your kiss. You pull on his hair which earns a loud noise in turn – using the opening of his mouth to taste yourself.

”Can I have you?” You ask leading your shaky hands up his torso and gripping his shoulders for leverage. You wouldn’t be able to keep yourself up if it weren’t for his hands holding you firmly by the waist as you straddle his lap. You plant a sweet kiss on the corner of his mouth but it leaves him unsatisfied – he slips a finger under your chin to tilt it up for a real kiss.

”You had me all this time. Ouch. Why did you do that?” Yoongi lifts an eyebrow when you hit him on his chest. You didn’t even hit him hard but you still rub the skin with your thumb in comfort circles.

Yoongi has you caged under him within seconds. He puts his weight on his knees on either side of your hips as he hovers over your form resting his hands curled around the headboard for stability. If you haven’t seen him between your legs feasting on your arousal – you would be flushed red from the view of his face his lips swollen and chin smeared with your cum. His fingers would probably shine if the light hit his skin just right. He pays it no mind as he holds your gaze still waiting for an answer.

”I wanted to have sex with you for the longest time and you can’t even take me seriously.” You talk in pout which shouldn’t make his cock twitch in his boxers but it does. You try poking his chest with your finger but he’s faster than you pinning your hand to the sheets next to your head.

”I thought I took you very seriously just now.” A playful smirk appears on his handsome face as he licks his lips – probably still tasting you on his tongue.

Your face heats at the implication of his words, you’re speechless as he’s clearly toying with your sanity here. You look away – your timidness is back as you wrap your hands around his waist while he kicks your knees apart with his thighs.

”I’m just teasing you baby. I feel the same way.” His gaze softens when your eyes lock – the morning light creates a halo around your head you’re so beautiful it takes his breath away – the tender shimmer is only there for a second before lust swallows it fully. Yoongi moves your intertwined fingers over the bulge still prominent in his underwear. He’s aching. Tasting you did this to him. He’s so turned on his cock feels neglected and wants your fingers around his erection and your mouth on his tip to taste him too.

”I’ve been dying to fuck you.” Placing his larger hand over yours he guides your movements to rub him over the material of his boxers. His breath hitches in his throat when you start palming him with confident hands. He doesn’t need to encourage you as you want to touch him just as bad as he craves it.

”Then why didn’t you?” Feeling bold from his reaction you slowly start pulling down his boxers – treating the garment the same way as he did with your panties. You remove it halfway –slowly dragging your nails over his exposed skin – until it’s straining against his muscular thighs. His cock springs free of his confines the curvy tip smearing precum on his lower belly as it stands to attention. The shaft is swollen and wet when you teasingly caress it with a single finger from base to top and watch his cock twitch against his stomach from the light stimulation. His gaze is fixed on your playful fingers.

Anticipation builds in the pit of his stomach when he feels your soft hand grasp his shaft. His hand is resting over yours for a moment guiding your fingers up and down his cock until you don’t need his help to move the way he likes it – he teaches you silently the pressure and the speed he likes to use on his cock – and his fingers grip the headboard next to your head, his knuckles turning white once you take over.

”I didn’t want to pressure you. Wanted to go slow with you because you deserve the best. Don’t think it wasn’t hard for me at all to hold back when you were walking around in those shorts. I took so many cold showers to get my boner to go down – you have no idea baby. How hard you make me.” Yoongi buries his head into your shoulder using your skin to muffle his moans as he pours his heart out in filthy undertones. You rub your thighs together feeling the pressure build in your pussy even after two mind-blowing orgasms.

”And yesterday when I saw you in my shirt fuck I wanted to rip it off you so bad. You looked so irresistible wearing my shirt to bed and I haven’t seen you for so fucking long.” You remove his underwear all the way so nothing will separate you from him before you take him into your mouth.

”And who’s fault is that?” You ask while delivering harder pumps collecting more precum from the swollen red tip. His moans turn up in volume and get whinier as his cock twitches in your palm with every precise flick of your wrist.

Yoongi spreads his leg now that he has the room allowing you to change your position as he rests against the pillows with his hands behind his head. Relaxed because now’s your time to take care of him.

”I’ll make more time for you baby I promise.” Yoongi kisses your neck lovingly. It could be one of those sweet moments if your hands were not full of his dick.

He knows he will like everything you do because it’s your lips wrapped around his tip and your hands moving up and down the rest of his length.

He did so well focusing on you forgetting about his pleasure in favour of yours.

His member stands proudly you supporting the base with your hand the wet tip glistens as you run circles over it with your thumb. Yoongi tries to keep his noises down you’re not the only ones in the apartment but you want to hear him it doesn’t matter to you who else does so you decide to test his limits.

You want to hear more and get the full experience of his moans and grunts so you collect the lubricant from his tip and smear it down his entire length to aid your moves.

You increase the tightness of your fingers wrapped around him as you jerk him off. His hands fly to grip your shoulders his muscles contract when you continuously place pressure on his cock not neglecting his tip as you swirl your tongue over the wide head. He’s fighting off his release as he bites his lips raw.

His bite comes as a surprise he uses your body to keep his voice down.

The sudden pain from his love bite makes your hand tighten around his cock it earns a loud moan that he could barely seal against the juncture of your neck his warm breath hitting your skin as he inhales sharply.

”Baby stop or I’ll cum.” You slow down but you don’t stop. His dick pulses in your hold ready to burst when it rips a growl from Yoongi’s throat he squeezes your hand with his around his cock panting as he tries to hold back from cumming on your face. You’re proud of yourself when you see his red face and dilated pupils.

You let him take over after he calmed down. Take his place between your spread legs as he teasingly rubs his cock along your wet folds. You want him inside and you show your impatience by bucking your hips into his –  your pussy is aching from being empty for so long.

”Yoongi,” He looks at you when you call his name. You look serious so he halts in his way to lining himself up with your entrance giving you his undivided attention.

He thinks he might have done something you didn’t like so he stops entirely no matter how hard his cock twitches to be inside you already. But it’s the opposite as you peck his lips before continuing. ”I love you.”

The sweetest gummy smile appears on his face at your confession. Eyes radiating fondness and love as he cups your cheeks to pull you into a long and passionate kiss. ”I love you too.”

Yoongi fishes a condom out of his wallet that was left on his nightstand. His fingers tear the wrapper with practised motions and roll the latex down his cock under your watchful gaze. He gives his wrapped cock a couple of pumps to test the flexibility of the condom and when he’s sure it won’t rip he returns to his place between your legs.

”I love you.” The repeated confession ends in a moan whispered against the seam of your smiling lips as he pushes the tip in. Parting your folds with his fat cock he delves in slow and steady. He showers your neck and chest with kisses once his entire length is in you and waits for your pussy to adjust to his size before he moves.

You move his hair out of the way to see his face and dark eyes. Sweat collects at his hairline that you wipe away with your thumb. You kiss his cheek, his temple, the tip of his nose and his left brow – you get lost in the bubble of your intimate kisses with his cock deeply nestled in your heat.

The first few thrust of his hip is calculated and slow. You’re so wet that when Yoongi drags his cock in and out he’s pushing your arousal out with his movements and drops of your cum from before roll down between your buttcheeks and stain the bedsheets.

Your hands hold onto his waist your nails dragging down his sides as he picks up his tempo and watches with hooded eyes as he disappears inside of you. The condom is thickly lubricated with your cum and collecting arousal.

”You feel so good.” Moan after moan leaves your chapped lips your back arching to get closer to his warm body chasing your pleasure with synced thrusts of your own hips. Yoongi considers telling you to be quiet but he doesn’t want to disturb the moment so he lets you moan his name as loud as you want.

His fingers rub your clit whilst his cock split your folds diving into your heat faster and harder until the headboard bumps against the wall loudly with the power of his thrusts.

”Gonna cum for me again?” Yoongi questions you breathlessly his pace is relentless as he feels the signs of your approaching need for release. You’re getting tighter you squeeze him so good he has to close his eyes to prevent cumming in the condom before you let go.

Yoongi keeps your body pinned to the mattress imprinting his touch onto your skin as he fucks you into the sheets. You raise your hips in time with his thrusts spreading your legs apart as far as they can go to feel him deeper.

He’s getting lost in the feeling of your warm walls surrounding him, squeezing him as your third orgasm washes over you more intense than the previous ones. It’s a lewd picture when you look at where you’re connected – his latex wrapped cock is shimmering with your cum drenched in your release when he pulls back.

He’s close as he fucks your buttered cunt so pink and swollen but you let him use you to get off. Spread wide open for him. He’s chasing his own high satisfied to fuck your cum out of you for now – he hopes that later you will let him fuck his own cum out of you but it’s a discussion for another time. Yoongi takes in your expression – your half-lidded eyes and open mouth as you moan his name. He hisses when you leave red marks on his back with your nails as he fucks your overstimulated pussy. He’s so close he picks up his pace so close to cumming that his eyes are unwillingly close when he empties himself into the condom.

He wishes that his hot cum was filling your insides instead and he would sloppily fuck it into you cover you with his sticky release everywhere.

Yoongi is thoughtful to pull out slowly knowing that you’re highly sensitive. He knots the end of the condom and trashes it in the bin next to his bed. Once he’s done cleaning you up he settles beside you again and buries his head in the space between your breasts.

You play with his hair enjoying the quiet morning together before you have to get up in your post-orgasm bliss. No one is up yet but the sun. Neither of you is keen to start the day right away. However, Yoongi wouldn’t mind waking up early if he gets to fuck you like this every morning. Listening to the sound of the wind outside as you lay in each other’s arms. You caress each other’s naked bodies and share more kisses before you eventually get up to take a shower.

-

Jin comes to collect you just when you got dressed and freshly out of the shower. Fortunately, Yoongi had already gotten up to take a shower so he didn’t have to see his friend naked. It would have been awkward. You remember you promised to help make Jimin’s cake so you follow him into the kitchen. He didn’t mention if he heard you and you’re thankful for that as you start cracking the eggs.

-

”Happy Birthday!”

You all shout when Jimin unlocks the door to the apartment. He’s sweaty from the gym Jungkook follows him in with a smile (knowing he did a good job distracting his friend to buy you time to prepare all of this) as Jimin stops in his tracks to take in the decoration and your grinning faces. Your brother laughs as the surprise wears off.

You watch them fool around with a smile your fingers intertwined with Yoongi’s as you observe them from the sideline. Playfully tackling each other Taehyung says proudly how his gift will be the best as he gets the birthday boy in a headlock. Feature chaos is unlocked in the apartment as everyone’s volume goes up to outspeak each other everyone’s excited.

Jin comes out with the cake you two prepared freshly out from the fridge. Following tradition, he gets frosting smeared on his nose before you cut the cake.

Lively conversation fills the room as you sit down and enjoy the gifts and food.

You’re confused when Jimin suddenly points an accusing hand in your boyfriend’s direction as if he suddenly remembered something.

”Dating my sister is one thing Hyung but hearing you guys have sex in the next room is something I will never want to hear again.” Jimin shudders as if this memory is bringing him trauma. Everyone laughs except for you two as you both blush and look away from your brother. You should have known he won’t let this go that easily.

”I guess it’s time for that conversation sis –”

”Jimin!” You yell his name – trying to shut him up with your palm over his mouth but he’s quick on his feet.

”Always use protection!” You roll your eyes and sit back down sulking when you feel Yoongi’s hands wrap around your shoulder rubbing sweet circles onto your skin. You’re related of course you have a comeback you smirk and crack your knuckles.

”I’ll listen to you if you do what you preach first. How many pregnancy scares did your girlfriend have?” Jimin looks at you like you grew a second head.

”That’s a low blow attacking me with my kink! Do you realise your boyfriend has the same kink I do?” In fact, you didn’t know as your eyes grow big. You look to the side to catch your boyfriend’s eyes but Yoongi’s is narrowed down on your brother. Traitor. He conveys without words.

”Don’t get me into your mess.” Yoongi pulls you closer just to spite Jimin he kisses you on the lips. He smirks once his best friend finally shuts up. What a mess indeed.

[reds-skull]

BLOOD||HUNGER

[PREV PART] [AO3]

I was gonna upload this yesterday, but AO3 was down -_-

This is a fucking monster of a chapter, 4.2k words! So it's practically 2 chapters lol. Had a love-hate relationship with this one...

It is called "A Secret Disease".

Page 42 of the “Blooede Starvatfōre-dēde”, parable 14:

This Beast took our children, one villager cried, It left our yields wilted and decayed, another added, O Blind Man, why can’t you kill this wretched thing, Free our realm from this monster, this blood-soaked daemon? The Blind Man asks, my friend, Have you taken their young? Have you wilted their harvest? The Beast attests, I have, O fallen knight, I have, I was a terrible thing, before I had anyone to see me, As more than a monster, as more than a Beast. The Blind Man understands, he knows well, That to be seen, is to be.

It was not Roba who buried him first. Simon has been sinking to the earth, long before he enlisted. His father dragged him down, along his brother, to a path of monsters. At a young age, his fate was already sealed-

(You will not get to be human)

The military was a last ditch effort to veer away from it. Fight against forces greater than him, fight against legacies written in shades of bruises and blood. Simon thought he won, for a fleeting moment. He had a squad, a leader, a mentor.

(Yet Simon didn’t realize, he was a man living with one foot in the grave)

It didn’t matter how much he clawed his way out, it was far too easy to drag him back in.

Beneath that tomb, Simon had to leave himself behind. He wouldn’t survive another fall. And so, Ghost rose, a faceless weapon, a monster of his own making. Shaped for battle, honed on the screams of the damned.

His path was clear. Ghost would fight and fight, until his body was left broken. And the world will go on with one less killer desecrating its soil.

(Yet, that is not where he’s destined anymore, is he?)

The hole in the back of his mask burns, as if the knife truly stabbed through him. Another death. Yet instead of killing Simon, it…

“Ghost is dead. What will ye become now?”

A gentle wind passes over Ghost, as he lines his shots and downs the endless waves of the Hunter’s soldiers.

He’s distracted. Compromised. Not only by the poison flowing through his veins, but by the hypnotic movements of a Sergeant, who once was, and now is returning for more.

Simon may be a weapon, but Johnny is a perfect storm. An uncontrollable disaster. An unescapable fate.

Soap has taken command over the civilians, easily slipping back into his role as a soldier. Ten have advanced to the left, and Johnny took the right, along with five more. Ghost watches over him, admiring how he takes down a whole hallway of hostiles by himself, clearing the way for the civvies to get into cover and fire.

It makes his heart beat faster, a heat rise within him. That all consuming want, the one first lit after they saved Price and Gaz, stokes even higher. How he wishes he could feel the weight of him on his chest again-

Fucking hell. Ghost groans lowly. He needs to focus. On the battle, on the civvies, on Soap…

On the creeping chill that encompasses his arms, the ice dripping down his spine, numbing his nerves.

No. Not now. He can’t lose control now!

Ghost grits his teeth, the shaking setting in his muscles. He has to push through, the enemy soldiers are realizing Soap’s plan, diverting their attention to the side hallways. He shoots a few trying to flank the left group, forcing his arms to move despite the immense pain.

Ghost could only last until he turned his scope to the right, then his limbs fall limp, like a puppet with no strings. He grunts, almost snarling like an animal, commanding his muscles to fucking move. His orders are left unfulfilled. 

“Fuck…” Ghost breathes, eyes lifting from his arms to the scope. What he sees makes the fight leave him, a dread stilling his heart.

Johnny is down. Arms around his neck, his face grows paler. His knife, the one that dug Simon out of the grave with, out of reach.

“I won’t die, Simon.”

“Johnny…” Simon whispers, a plea to an uncaring world. “C’mon…”

(Fight back)

His blue eyes fog over, the lack of oxygen slowing him to a halt. Simon’s thoughts scream to him-

(Don’t give up)

Johnny grips his attacker, clawing nails becoming an almost accepting hold. He’s giving up.

“Please…”

Simon feels his rib cage tear open. (You can’t die here) Poison freezes his lungs. (I can’t go back to before)

(Please don’t leave me-

Johnny’s eyes sharpen. An electrifying shock goes through Simon, restarting his heart.

Ba-dump

Soap shoves the arm over his face.

Ba-dump, Ba-dump

He opens his mouth.

Ba-dump, Ba-dump, Ba-dump

And bites.

Ba-dump-Ba-dump-Ba-dump-Ba-dump-

Simon sees the blood, the hostile’s mouth curl into a scream. Soap leans forward, flipping the man over. In a flash, he finds the castaway knife, and buried it in the still shrieking throat. Johnny shakily lifts from the ground, his front dripping blood.

He looks terrifying. He looks… breathtaking.

“There’s more to us than heroes and monsters, Simon.”

Ghost doubted Soap then. The world seemed so clear-cut, painted only in shades of black and white. Good and bad. Ghost, a monster. Soap, a hero.

Covered in blood, teeth bared and gaze burning, Soap didn’t look like either.

Maybe a hero can be a monster.

Maybe Simon could become more.

Ghost has been through every kind of torture imaginable, by the cruelest hands to be conceived.

This? This was a new low.

Helpless like a newborn, all he could do is try and track Johnny through the battle. The building often got in his line of sight, and not once Ghost’s mind tried to convince him-

He’s dead-He’s dead-He’s dead-

After far too long, a tingling sensation started at the tips of his fingers. Ghost clenched his jaw, flexing the muscles and working through the pain, and the moment he could, he jumped to his feet. 

He rather be paralyzed on the field next to Johnny, then stay up here.

Swiftly, he makes his way to the plaza, sliding down the ladder and running. Many of the entrances are blocked, likely an attempt from the civvies to secure the area, but he finds a back door left forgotten.

Or, so Ghost thought at first. Coming closer, he tracks several figures huddling out.

They’re far too small to be soldiers. These are… children.

The older ones seem to push them out, trying to run away from the fight. They must’ve recognized it’s a losing battle…

Ghost needs to get to Johnny. There’s no knowing what he’s facing right now, if he’s broken, if he’s cornered.

But Simon… Simon wants to help the kids. He can’t stand watching little ones die, abandoned in war zones by all but gods of death.

Simon squares his shoulders. The tension lingering from the poison, the fear, it all cinches on his cold heart. 

For the first time in years, he chooses to listen to Simon.

“Oi!” he calls to them, and they instantly freeze, eyes wide. The older kids step forward, pushing their siblings behind. Right, scary soldier with a gun. Ghost lowers his pistol. It hurts, in a way it hasn’t since…

Since Joseph-

Simon takes hold of the skull stitched to his balaclava, and slides it off his face. “I’m not with them.”

One kid, holding a baby not older than one, pipes up, “you are… with the other soldier? With the weird hair?”

Simon smiles despite himself, “yeah, that’s the one.”

“Can you help us?” another girl says. She holds her arm, blood spreading on her sleeve.

He takes more steps towards them, now that they trust him, “has anyone stayed behind?”

The kids look at each other, seemingly counting heads. “No.” the boy answers.

“Good. Follow me. Be quiet.” Simon takes out his gun once more, now with about twenty children trailing him. Christ, how did he get here?

Simon leads the group away from the fight, straining his ears for any hostiles. They walk through dark alleys, musty with spilled beers and piss. The gunshots from the plaza quiet as they get farther. He motions them to stop when they reach a more open area, littered with parked vehicles and ammo boxes. This must be where the Hunter’s soldiers left their supplies.

Ghost puts the mask back on, “stay here. I’ll make sure no bad guys are still around.” the older ones nod, pushing the children into the shadows.

The more he clears, the clearer it becomes that this place is the Hunter’s soldiers’ makeshift outpost - their base of operations for the attack on the plaza. It makes cold dread trickle through him.

He didn’t lie when he told Johnny it’s all his fault. If he never accepted this contract, if he didn’t run away, if he didn’t survive…

All of these children’s parents would’ve still been alive.

Ghost shakes those thoughts away. He needs to focus.

If he could destroy this place, he could starve out the hostiles of bullets… but the civvies won’t survive that long. Better yet, getting these supplies to them and Soap…

He returns to the kids, removing the mask once more, “no bad guys.” Simon surveys their options; he certainly can’t leave the children here, but where could he take them that would be any safer?

A loud explosion rattles the windows around them, a few kids breaking into sobs. Johnny must be giving them hell.

“...Mister?” a little kid stutters, “where now?”

Ghost turns to look at them. About half are not in a state to continue much farther, either too young or wounded. They need to find somewhere, fast.

“After me.” he searches for a house with a basement, a place he could barricade and rig. He may not be a demolition expert like Soap, but he can handle a claymore mine. A hurried search results in finding a two-storey house, with a door in the back leading to a wine cellar. Must’ve belonged to someone rich, not that money matters anymore.

Ghost is about to leave the kids, when he notices how they’re shivering in the cold basement. “Stay here.”

The house, luckily, is well stocked, and quickly enough Ghost manages to scrounge up a good pile of blankets and thick winter jackets. They’re not kid-sized, but that’s probably for the better. He returns to the children, and their eyes light up when they receive what he gathered.

“Alright.” Ghost crouches down, “which ones of you know English well?”

The kids that previously talked to him raise their hand.

“Listen very carefully.” Ghost gives the boy the key to the cellar, “when I leave, you have to lock the door. Do not open it to anyone you don’t recognize, and do not, I repeat, do not get out on your own.” the kids look at him attentively, seriousness beyond their years in their eyes. “I’m going to set traps for the bad guys, so they won’t enter, but it means you also can’t leave. Repeat what I’ve told you.”

The wounded girl says, “don’t open the door to strangers, don’t go out alone. Traps outside the door, bad guys can’t come in.”

“Good. Now-”

The boy cuts him off, “what if you don’t come back?”

Ghost studies him, a challenge in his brown eyes. Reminds him of… Tommy.

“I’ll come back.”

“You can’t promise that”, the boy frowns, “the-they’re strong, they can kill you-!”

Ghost sighs. He brings out the mask he left at his side to show the pair, “you know why I wear this mask?”

The kids shake their heads, “I wear it to scare my enemies. I wear it because I’m their worst nightmare. I wear it so they think I’m a monster, and you know how strong monsters are, right?”

The kids nod, eyes locked on his grotesque skull staring back. “What do they call you?” the girl asks lowly.

“Ghost.”

They repeat, in their own language. Ghost hesitates for a moment, before clasping a hand on each of their shoulders, “you’re strong, I can tell. Stay strong a little bit longer, alright?”

They nod again, but Ghost watches them suppress the emotions brimming in their eyes.

As Ghost closes the door, and the boy comes up to lock it, he whispers a small, “good luck.”

Ghost lets him see his smile before he covers it with the skull mask.

Ghost sighs, raising to his feet. The claymores are set, creating a minefield around the house. The children’s last line of defence.

He returns to the makeshift outpost. There are a few vehicles he can use, so he starts loading one full of ammo and guns.  Spotting a few first aid kits, Ghost shoves them in as well. He’s already aware of one injured…

Possibly dead-

The truck shakes when he slams the door shut. Rifle laid on his lap, he shifts gears to drive out. Towards the gunshots, towards the explosions. 

Towards Johnny.

It doesn’t take long for bullets to start flying his way. He spots a group of hostiles pushing the civvies out of cover expertly. They would’ve been annihilated in a heartbeat, overwhelmed by sheer numbers-

If Ghost didn’t barrel straight through the soldiers, crushing them under the tires. He barely swerves away from a wall, coming to a stop right besides the civilian group. He jumps out, about to bark orders, when he freezes.

“Ghost?!” a Scottish voice asks behind him, and he turns so fast it hurts his neck.

Johnny, blood still covering his front. Alive, alive, alive.

Ghost shakes away the emotions swelling in his gut. If he lets even a shred of them show, it all would come hurling out, an ugly, disgusting mess, rotten and-

“Sitrep, Sergeant.”

Soap narrows his eyes, like he can tell how Ghost is barely holding onto the mess writhing inside him, “solid. Ye?”

“Likewise.” he quickly turns to the trunk, avoiding Soap’s knowing gaze, “what’s the latest?”

Ghost suppresses a shiver when Soap comes to stand beside him, “we opened 2 fronts on the hostiles, ye just helped us clear this one. Other side’s status is unknown.” the Sergeant picks up a box of ammo, “where did ye find all this?”

Soap motions someone to take the box, letting him spread it among the civvies, “there’s an outpost, 10 minutes away from ‘ere”, Ghost drags out a couple PDSW 528, “there’s… something else as well.”

He makes eye contact with Soap, “found a group of kids.”

The civilians around Ghost snap their gaze to his, “stashed them in a basement, secured. We need to go back for ‘em.”

He can’t name the emotion in Johnny’s eyes. “Ye…?” he exhales, relieved, “aye, I can send a couple to watch over ‘em.”

“Negative, set mines around the perimeter.”

Johnny huffs a laugh at that, “of course ye did.” his expression is warm, too warm.

Simon turns away. “Where’s the second group?”

The civilians start reloading their weapons, some replacing their pistols with the new SMGs, others using the kits to patch themselves up. Soap points back to the plaza, where gunshots still echo in the cool night air, “still holed up there. Was planning to flank the bastards.”

Soap turns to leave, but Ghost takes hold of his bicep before he can think better of it, “Johnny-”

The words dry up on his tongue. His gaze is stuck on the drying crimson over Soap’s face, and his grip tightens. “...Simon?” Johnny whispers, too low for the others to hear.

God, he can’t help but love the way it sounds between his bloodied lips.

It feels out of his control, his slow movements as he bends down, gently touching his mask to Johnny’s forehead. Out of his hands, when his eyes slip shut, brows furrowed yet for the first time since he became paralyzed on that roof, Simon breathes.

Johnny is uncharacteristically silent, probably thinking how fucking weird he’s acting right now. Simon can’t bring himself to care. Not when he can almost feel Soap’s warmth bleed through the mask.

Warmth that only comes from being alive.

A hand touches his nape, slowly curling around it. It makes Simon shudder. He opens his eyes, to see Johnny’s, and that alone is stronger than any truth serum out there, “I saw it.”

“Saw what?”

Simon leans in closer, “when he tried to kill you. I couldn’t- the poison…”

“You wouldn’t have had a clear shot.”

He knows. It frustrates him.

Johnny forces their faces apart by the hold on Simon’s neck, “let’s finish this.” he squeezes before releasing Ghost.

There are words left unsaid in the air between them. Things Simon can’t even begin to formulate. One stands odd out of all, and it confuses him.

He thinks, if he won’t acknowledge it, won’t let the thought take shape in his mind, it won’t affect him. Like a child hiding under his blankets, as if not seeing the monster would protect him. Yet he knows, it won’t save him.

It won’t save Simon from wanting.

The second front is a mess. The Hunter’s soldiers, after realizing they lost the first, focused their attack back on the plaza. The once white walls and floors are now charred black and red, Soap’s explosions certainly taking a huge part in that.

“There.” Soap stops him, spotting a makeshift barricade, “that’s ours.”

Ghost takes out his knives, “we can take some of them quietly, ‘fore they notice something’s up. Think you’re up for that, Sergeant?”

Soap scoffs, “was born ready, LT-” he shuts his mouth when he realizes his mistake.

His guts churn at the name, “...let’s see how good you are, Johnny.”

Ghost starts towards the hostiles, trusting Soap to keep up.

As he slits the throat of a soldier, his mind takes him back to days long gone. He wipes the blood off his blade and continues, a predator stalking for another victim.

They called him LT back then, too. His Sergeants. Looked up at him with full trust, put their lives on the line at his word, gave him the leash to control. As they were ordered to, as they signed their lives for.

And Simon led them to ruin. To the cold hands of betrayal.

Johnny doesn’t look at him like that. There’s doubt, there’s a want to push back against his lead, a trust he has yet to earn. Ghost can tell.

As blood drips down his sleeves, he tells himself it’s different. This time, it won’t end like that. He begs, to a God that never listened, that it won’t end like that.

Simon Riley won’t survive another grave.

It takes the hostiles a pathetically long time to notice something was wrong. It’s only when the civvies advance forward, steps loud and guns louder, that the wankers think to look back and find the mounting pile of corpses Soap and Ghost have left behind.

Ghost doesn’t relish in the fear in their eyes like he used to. Johnny takes the soldier out, letting out an exhale, and nodding determinately at him.

Perhaps there are more comforting views in the world, than watching the life bleed out of your enemies.

The civvies take care of any stragglers, some surprising him with their aim. He supposes there’s no better teacher than a war on your own home. Not that he’d know. Never had something to fight for, beside survival.

It’s only a few moments later, that the plaza finally grows quiet, and gunshots are no more than a phantom echo. He and Johnny were taught to never trust appearances, and take time to sweep the open court, the hallways, the bloody floors and broken doors. For once, all is silent.

The Hunter’s soldiers are no more.

The war rages on, but this battle is finished. Returning to the central court, Ghost sets off for one of the trucks. Twenty small figures plague his mind, and he has a promise to fulfill.

Footsteps echo behind him, and Ghost doesn’t need to turn around to know their owner.

“Yer going to get the wee ones, aren’t ye?”

“Affirm.” he’s about to climb to the driver sit, before Johnny pulls his shoulder. Ghost glares at him, but his intimidation tactics don’t seem to work on the Sergeant anymore.

Soap slides to the sit instead, “no offence sir, but yer driving is shite.”

Ghost grumbles, “never killed anyone I didn’t want to with it.”

“See, tha’s yer problem. Standards so low they’re practically in hell-”

He slams the door, “shut the fuck up, Soap, fucking ‘ell…”

The Sergeant smiles as he starts the vehicle. Ghost notices a shake in his arms, and frowns.

“You said you were solid.”

Johnny’s smile fades, “Ah am.” he huffs, “it’s… I’m just knackered. Be right as rain after.”

The answer displeases him. Sure, they’re both soldiers, they’re trained to fight in the worst conditions possible…

But he wants better for Johnny. Even if wanting is dangerous.

It’ll have to wait. The house comes into view. 

He’s lucky Soap decided to come with. Setting up mines is easy enough for an idiot to do blind. Disarming a dozen without blowing up? A little harder.

Johnny doesn’t complain, fingers deft as he expertly takes the charges apart. Ghost takes the moment to watch him work, admire the way the bombs click, wires twist, the muscles under Soap’s shirt bulging with every movement-

Dangerous line of thought there. He refocuses on the last mine, the telltale click of it signifying they’re in the clear.

He walks down to the cellar door, and knocks, “it’s Ghost, no bad guys around. Open up.”

A few moments later, the door rattles, metal scraping on the concrete floor, and it swings open, revealing the boy.

“You… you came back.” his voice wobbles, eyes wide in disbelief.

It makes Ghost wonder how many people promised this little one to come back, only to never return.

He wonders if his family ever felt like that when he didn’t-

“I told you”, he crouches down, placing a careful hand on his shoulder, “I’m stronger than them.”

The boy’s face crumples, and he startles Ghost by jumping forward, looping his small arms around him. The little body in his arms start to shake, sobs barely muffled by his gear. Ghost slowly wraps his hands around him, motions unfamiliar. Ones he only dreamt of, in musty living rooms and dirty basement.

He can hear Soap walk around him to check on the others. The boy in his arms pulls away a tad, his face splotchy and teary. Ghost takes off a glove to wipe them.

“I-I’m sorry.” the boy whispers.

Ghost tilts his head, “what for?”

“I wasn’t strong. I cried, like, like a baby-”

Ghost cuts him off, “you know what makes someone strong?”

The boy shakes his head, so Ghost continues, “it’s not someone who is never afraid. It’s someone that, despite being afraid, still fights.”

“Are you ever afraid, then?”

Simon looks over his shoulder at Soap, checking on the injured girl’s arm. The blood over his features has yet to fully dry. “...Terrified.”

They don’t all fit in the truck Soap and Ghost arrived in, so he stays behind with the kids while Soap goes back and forth.

“Yer gonna scare ‘em with yer driving, ye feckin’ animal.”

The kids seem to like him better than Soap anyway, which came as a surprise to both of them, considering his mask was still on. Johnny took it in stride, smiling softly at him in a way that makes him want.

Want what, he doesn’t dare think.

On the last round, four children cram in the back of the truck, two more toddlers balanced on Ghost’s lap. Soap doesn’t speak, and he notices his eyes flagging for a moment, before snapping open again.

The civilians welcome the children with open arms, some crying in happiness. ‘You did good’, a thought flashes in his head.

He lets a woman take the toddlers off his arms, and walks to the small group. The kids’ eyes instantly light up, and the ones that can rush towards him, calling “Ghost! Ghost!”. They say more, excitedly telling him things in their mother tongue, and even if he can’t understand, he still smiles and nods, letting them prattle on.

When he looks up, something’s wrong.

Some of the civilians have stopped moving, stare stuck on him. A woman stomps to him, dragging the kids back, almost shouting at them when they try to shake her hold off.

Johnny comes to stand next to him, “what’s going on? Alma?”

The woman, Alma, almost growls out, “tell me this” she points to him, “isn’t the Ghost.”

“He-”

“I am.” Ghost speaks over Soap. 

Alma’s eyes grow wide, before they start spitting fire, “get out of here.” she grounds in a ice-cold tone.

Soap comes to stand between them, “it wasn’t in his control-”

“He’s the reason these monsters attacked!” she starts yelling, “he’s why we’re here, fighting for our damn life! Why our children are BLEEDING AND DYING!”

Soap falters. “I’ll say it once.” Alma snarls, “get out, before we make you get out.”

The group is silent, all eyes on him. Ghost nods.

He deserves less than this, if he’s honest with himself.

“I’ll leave. I’m… sorry for… this.”

“Don’t.” Alma huffs, “we don’t need your apologies.” she turns to Soap, “you can stay. We can take care of your injuries, if you go to Helena-”

Soap shakes his head, “don’t worry ‘bout it.” he looks back at Ghost, “I’m going with him.”

Ghost’s brow rise, “Johnny, you don’t need-”

“Aye, Ah know.” Johnny pats his shoulder, before walking away for the vehicles, “I want to.”

Ghost stands frozen for a moment, before he follows him.

Behind, he can hear the children saying goodbye, the adults holding onto them.

Away from the monsters.

[eat-the-richard]

Utterly Obsessed With The Schlatt My Way Cover Because AI Is Fucking Losing

I think I've listened to this cover every day since its come out. A little bit strange since I'm not even the biggest fan of Sinatra, or Schlatt anymore for that matter. Nothing personal to the both of them, just not really my thing. But the implication of this cover is genuinely awe-inspiring in a way I still don't really have the words for.

AI disrupted a lot of industries this year. But none I feel took at as personally as the arts. Seemingly every day from all walks of the artistic palette, we say a regurgitation of infinite works from infinite possible sources. Every individual thought could become a strange, off putting yet still generally accurate piece of art. Entire animations were mushed through filter after filter to resemble styles of artists long dead and studios long dissolved. And, of course, internet micro celebrities with nary a song to their name have covered every song in existence.

Truly a tool for our perverted content age, AI has already been used, abused, run through its paces and spat back out. Quality be damned, these pieces of art could now *just* exist without talent or performance. Impressive, in a way, but terrifying in many more.

Not even to mention the numerous individuals dedicating their lives to their craft, becoming experts in their chosen field and deserving to make a well and honest living through their creations, suddenly finding themselves competing with a bastardization of their life's work annihilating them at a pace they can't match. But these AI advancements have potential to *stunt* potential. Why train your voice to simulate a musical instrument when you can upload thousands of voice samples to a tool and use that to sing any song imaginable? Why study a style of a given artist when their work can be morphed into an idea you just thought of two minutes ago?

Dangers such as these scare the shit out of me. Because art is all we have left, in a way. Nobody *should* be able to take this away from you, although god damn they have tried. Training the self to create expression in whatever way you please, even if it isn't financially viable, even if you can't do it as quickly or in the style that everyone wants, even if you kind of hate what comes out on the other side, it's still *you*.

AI can express. But there is no self. Its tools built on the works of countless others and rapidly expanding ways to sort them. Inherently plagiarist, AI works treat the heart crucial to the success of all art as disposable. Impressive AI works cannot be attributed to the idea, or the person responsible for clicking the button. Merely to the tool developed over years of work seemingly incongruent with art, for uses that should have nothing to do with art, plastered over the creation of art anyway by those who do not care.

This is all to say that jschlatt, who has had to sit there and watch his face, his voice, his very likeness flattened, used to create art he had no say in or control over, was able to take that control back. Undoubtedly, Schlatt has had some vocal lessons or *something* to get this sounding so polished, but the actual quality isn't why this is so impressive. It's impressive because *it's him*.

The reaction to this cover has been universally positive. Folks who were shocked Schlatt was able to pull this off. Those wanting more music from him in the future. But the single most apparent sentiment in the reaction was joy, glee even, in that this was *not* AI. This was his voice, flaws be damned, experience be damned, performance style be damned. This is him, and he put his *heart* into it. And you can feel that emotion pulsing through this cover, an attention to detail to respect the original work by trying to match its intricacies. Clearly exhibiting strain to hit the iconic high notes and long vibrato this legendary song is known for. No AI, no bullshit, this is *him.*

And the people love it. There is no replacement for the genuine article. AI is fucking losing.

[starshine-wagner]

Kodak Moment

Pairing: Danny Wagner x Reader

Summary: You decide to document a special moment during drum practice with Danny.

Word Count: 1,200

Warnings: swearing, slightly suggestive content

A/N: This is a re-upload to move it from my old blog to my current blog.

"Dammit," Danny huffed. He slammed one of the drumsticks down onto the snare and took a deep breath, stretching his fingers. He'd been trying a new bit on his Age of Machine line, but just couldn't seem to get the beat right. The two of you had been there for the better part of an hour.

"If I'm being honest, I didn't notice that it was o-" you started, but Danny cut you off.

"I did," he bit back, "And Jake did last night. And Josh will be up my ass about it soon enough."

You knew enough not to be too hurt by Danny's reply. It wasn't that he was frustrated with you. He was just a bit too hard on himself, sometimes. With a sigh, you sat up from your spot on the ground next to Danny and wandered around the stage while he continued practicing.

You paid a visit to Sammy's little Plato statue. You thought it was endearing that he kept a little buddy to keep him company on stage. He told you the story of how he got the figurine sometime last year, but, if you were being honest, you hadn't totally been listening.

It was before Danny and you had been dating and, with Danny sitting across the room, you had no chance at really hearing what Sammy had to say. Between stealing yearning glances at his best friend and feeling the butterflies flutter in your stomach, it truly was a lost cause.

You dragged your fingers across the keys, noticing that the stagehands had already set Sammy's his incense for the night. He'd been trying different scents lately, but, after a sniff, you determined that you weren't too fond of the one he'd picked for tonight. It was too musky for your taste.

Being on the stage was like taking a little peek into Danny's mind. You enjoyed watching him in his element, especially up close. Of course, during a show, you'd never be able to really see what it was like. But, during these little pre-show sessions, you could at least get a taste. Looking out into the empty seats, you felt a pit in your stomach and were immediately brought back to your 3rd grade piano recital. With a shudder, you turned back to Danny.

Just then, he let out an animalistic yell and, at first, you couldn't tell if it was good or bad.

"Let's fucking GO!" he shouted. You raised your eyebrows to him in silent questioning. "That one was damn near perfect," he nodded. Running up behind him, you wrapped your arms around his neck and pressed a kiss to the top of his head. That's when your eye caught it. One of the disposable cameras the fans so oddly loved.

The guys had really gotten into the whole disposable camera trend this tour. You thought it was a little silly, considering they all had cameras with 10x better quality in their pockets at (almost) all times. But, they enjoyed messing around with them. They'd always be sure to have one on stage on the off chance that Josh decided to fool around during one of Danny's drum solos. And, of course, the fans went wild anytime he'd take pictures on stage.

You quickly released Danny from your hold and skipped to the front of his drum stage to reach down and grab the camera.

"Think Josh will mind?" you asked, lifting the camera into his view.

"It's fine. But what for, baby?"

You spun the gear on top of the camera until it was locked and loaded, and then aimed the lens at Danny, just as he was checking to see a notification on his phone. Probably Jake checking in. The flash went off and he whipped his head back up to you.

"You didn't tell me to pose!"

"I didn't want to! It's to commemorate you getting that part just now. That way, the next time you doubt yourself I can make you remember," you said with an all-knowing smile.

"Gimme that," he said, reaching his arm out to you from across the kit. He was glistening with sweat, but you don't think the camera captured it well. It couldn't ever really capture his beauty.

He turned the knob and aimed the lens at your face just as you went to pull a stupid grin.

"Absolutely perfect," he murmured. Once more, you came around to his side and tapped his thigh, letting him know that you wanted a seat. He spread his legs open just enough so that you could sit and face him.

"You know, they really should make these stools bigger," you thought.

"Well I don't think the manufacturers are typically envisioning more than one person on the seat, Y/N."

"Touché" you responded, kissing his breastbone. When you pulled your head back up, his thumb caressed your cheekbone while his other hand held you securely on his lap.

"I'm sorry I snapped at you," he frowned. "I shouldn't be short with you when you're just trying to love me."

"Thank you, Danny. You know I understand, but you're forgiven." Now it was your turn to admire his cheekbones. You had already helped him paint a pair of small triangles under his eyes in preparation for tonight's show. Though you admired your work, you admired his natural beauty even more. "You're a pretty boy, you know..." you reminded him.

"Yeah?" he smirked. "Pretty?"

"Very pretty," you murmured just before you moved to take his lips in yours. His hand moved down from your face and wrapped around your neck, applying only the slightest bit of pressure. He went to move it down further when you let out the smallest, barely-noticeable moan at his gesture. He rethought his decision and decided he liked holding your neck best. Your hand made its way onto his for just a moment before you had a bright idea.

Not breaking the kiss, you reached behind your back to grab the disposable Danny had placed on the snare. Silently winding it up, you stretched your arm out. Before he recognized what was happening, you'd snapped a photo of your little heated moment. Danny, once again surprised by your photography, pulled back.

"I don't think this is quite what they were envisioning when they coined the phrase 'Kodak moment', babe," he said, chuckling.

"Well," you started, running your hands down his chest, "I was thinking earlier. Sammy has his little tokens on his stage. Josh has his props. And Jake... well, Jake is too busy playing with his eyes closed to see anything else. But, you don't have anything personal with you on stage. Nothing to keep you, like, grounded."

He listened intently, his eyes still glancing at your lips, clearly wanting to get back to business. "So, once we get this developed, maybe you can keep it with you. You know, I can tape it to one of your stands or something..." you trailed off. The more you spoke, the more self-conscious you became.

Danny was silent for a few beats before his gaze met yours through his eyelashes.

"I mean..." you braced yourself for a pang of rejection. Maybe he didn't want to have that kind of thing with him at work. The right side of his mouth twitched up as he continued, "I mean, I think we can do a little better than that, yeah?"

Oh. Oh. The self-conscious knot in your stomach turned into something... else.

And so, back to business you went. The two of you made very good use of the next few minutes and the last few exposures on that roll of film.

Josh didn't need that camera anyway.

[respectthepetty]

Get To Know Your BL Mutuals

tagged by @kwonzoshi

Simple, answer the questions. @ some people. Include the tag 'g2ky BL mutuals 2022' on your post so we can find everyone's answers!

What has been the BL that took you by surprise this year?

Old Fashion Cupcake. It came out of nowhere! One random day Viki uploaded the first episode, and was like “You wanna watch an oddly named show from Japan?” and my my my (sing it like Troye Sivan) it hit every sweet spot. The scene that was done all in one sequence?! I’m still there. I’m living in that scene. I only come out because I have to pay bills. I’m going to rewatch it for the 80th time now.

What has been the BL that you felt a bit disappointed with this year?

It would have been Oh! My Sunshine Night, but it seemed to embrace its messiness (adding more episodes on the day of the finale!) in a way that I love (amnesia?! a murder plot?! a bubble bath?!!!!) so…

Between Us. It’s the same issue I had with Until We Meet Again. I don’t know how Win and Team’s plot is going to carry over for twelve episodes. We keep getting snippets of In and Korn (TW, please), and shots of Dean and Pharm, but we already know their story, so it’s like recycled plot with a new scent. It’s nice to see Dean not so robotic (“fuck off”) and Pharm not being infantilized, but on top of Alphabet Soup’s issues with Prince Charming, a drowning, Manow doing her (keep it up, we love it!), Tul and Wan’s Gameboys moment, baby Santa looking adorable as Wiew, the product placement of what is clearly NOT water, and the daddy issues (actual issues with their father and not Love in the Air daddy issues), I don’t know how this souffle is going to rise. However, it’s not even close to being finished, so I’m excited to watch how it bakes.

What has been your favorite BL this year?

Love Mechanics. I’m trash for VeeMark’s throat grabs. Trash! Vee being a topsy-turvy bisexual who couldn’t get his shit together is the bisexual representation I want. How many bisexuals do we know who have their shit together? Not a damn one. This show is basically a documentary. Then, Mark being the ultimate Sour Patch Kid who is willing to fist fight his father only made the dynamic between a gay and his huge red flag that much better.

Favorite BL couples (not just of 2022)?

MaxTul are my anything and everything. Korn and Knock. Tan and Bun. Sequels. Prequels. Unconfirmed projects – WHERE IS TRANSPLANT?! It always blows my mind that they are the same age, if not younger than another long-established pair, and came out the gate slutting up our screens. Not even making it a competition, it’s just wild to me that they did the devil’s tango day one, which we see more often now, and held a gun to each other’s head two years ago so DanYok, ToddBlack, KinnPorsche, and VegasPete could fly (I see you HIStory 3: Trapped. Taiwan, you're still my #1). They remind me of a Taiwanese couple with the domestic bliss, the high heat, and the batshit craziness, and I hope they live long and happy lives.

If you had to suggest a BL for someone what would it be?

To My Star 1 AND 2. Yeah, I wrote that. Not just To My Star, but To My Star 2 as well. The reasons speak for themselves, but just in case, never forget his lip was bleeding.

What's your non-BL favorite for this year?

Our Flag Means Death. I only support the girls, the gays, and the goths, so I was happily surprised that I was, in fact, supporting an entire ship of gays and their support goth with this show about pirates. If you think I’m crazy about colors and symbolism in BLs, imagine me watching this show when Ed started wearing color compared to his usual black and wore Stede’s RED robe after Stede gave him a RED cloth, that Ed placed in his pocket where his heart is because Stede gave him love only to throw it in the wind when…

Let me calm down. This show was glorious, and I’m delighted it got a second season. De. Light. Ed.

So who wants to go next? Tag as many or as few people as you want.

Have to tag the color and location mutuals: @gillianthecat @dribs-and-drabbles @waitmyturtles @sliceduplife @callipigio

[ghostlybroskies]

 A shoddy laptop sits on a fold out table. It’s got some old recording stuff plugged into it, a dusty microphone sitting at the edge. Dave really isn’t too sure what he’s doing. He couldn’t find the words to write out, and he’s not really feeling up to showing his face to a random blog on the internet yet. So-audio time. Bringing it back old school style. He had tape recorders as a kid, copied down his thoughts there and shit. Most of those didn’t survive in his childhood home. Now, let’s see…where to start? He could treat this like an audio diary, maybe. Spill his guts to the internet in hope of answers. How seriously should he take this??? After some procrastinating the blond hits the record button. If he keeps overthinking this, then he’ll never get shit done. Just start spewing shit Dave, you can edit it later. Dave: Alright ghostlybroskis, we’re back on the air. Or the mic. This isn’t live. Dave: Fuck. Whatever, it’s fine. Dave: I know my last post had a lot of y’all confused, but don’t worry, it was just a lil audio error, haha. Dave swivels closer to the desk in his chair, crossing his legs in the seat. It was a lie. The audio he posted was 5 minutes of him talking, but it uploaded with just straight silence. Got a lot of questions about it, and it took him a while to work up the nerve to address it. His audio has been doing that a lot lately. Just cutting out completely as if he’s not even there. Gotta love it. Dave: It was an experimental audio, I guess. Like a dog whistle kinda thing I saw online and was like oh shit I should try that, that would be interesting. Dave: But it didn't work, so I’ll probs just delete that shit later. Declutter the old blog. Dave: I got some questions in since the last post, so I guess I’ll answer them now? Dave: As a recap for anyone new, just call me your local ghostlybro, whatever the username says. Dave: No, youre not getting my age or my real name, this is just a side blog, I ain’t tryna be all that serious. Dave: And I’m also not a ghost expert. Just sharing some weird experiences on here, kinda lookin’ for answers, but not expecting much, so. Dave: Let’s get into answering some of these bad boys already. //Ask blog is now open!! This is a paranormal-ly humanstuck AU, where Dave died and came back to life danny phantom style. He’s got some weird ghost shit happening to him, recently moved in with his older brother Dirk and his partner Jake, who both work as paranormal investigators! Just a fun lil side thing. Dave’s blog is an anonymously run one by himself, and Dirk and Jake don’t know about it. They don’t know about any of the weird shit happening to him-but Dave literally just. Disappears sometimes and freaks himself out. Sees ghosts and ghastly shit daily, is starting to hear shit, and on occasion something touches him and he almost double dies. Trying to pretend he doesnt hear or see anything if something is around him, but damn waking up with shit in the corner of your room is fucking gnarly. Will occasionally post art with it too! Got low energy so can’t do an art reply with everything-but I’ll do it when the inspo strikes!!

[docmedecal]

Hi~! Long post inc (or above, I haven't uploaded things on Tumblr in ages) I'm Kassandra (or Kas or whatever just don't call me late for dinner haha) and today was the one year anniversary of the medical side of finding myself (and everything else that's come with it) 2023 had so many challenging moments, but it was also the happiest year of my life and greatest time for my own personal growth and well being. I started HRT on Jan 18th 2023 (after a long internal battle with acceptance that sometimes spilled out into external conflict) and I have loved every day since. That's not to say there wasn't struggles with it, the couple months of feeling plateau'd, finding out my blood work wasn't hitting the desired marks and then finding out months later I was at the upper end of the hormone range and my levels were all great, and learning how to express myself confidently (therapy helps a lot too!) The past year has been a lot of trial and error (and lots of Amazon/Romwe crap clothes) to find my sense of self and how I wanted to express myself. I also had a lot of help from the loveliest person I know (more on them later though hehe~) and I've finally been able to be that person I always would daydream about being all throughout my life but never had the courage (or means) to do and be. I've learned that a lot of the "scariness" in the world that being semi-professionally terminally online would show me, while valid, was not the reality of things that I would face. I've dealt with conflict around my transition, as nearly all trans people do, like having to break ties with one of my closest friends of 14 years because he stated I was an "abomination" among other things. But I also found love and acceptance among many of my closest friends especially in my best friend who most likely couldn't tell you what any given letter in the alphabet soup is but supports me fully and talks with me daily. Surprising most of all is the middle aged women that come up to me every few times I leave the house and compliment my outfits (a shock from the assumption that I would face a slew of TERFs on the daily from any Reddit thread) and the neighbors of the home I moved into who have treated me as a women in every interaction. It's been a long journey from being a small kid sneaking into heels when my parents were gone to being in my Sophomore year of high school and seeing Against Me! where my dad explained to me that the singer had transitioned and I was shocked that was an option to the first appointment at my local Planned Parenthood so anxious about the blood draw that was the smoothest I'd ever experienced to the first little blue fem 'n m I took to the one I took a few hours before writing this. And I know that even if the rest of the journey is filled with highs and lows, I will love every second of living my life as the person I've always wanted to be.

2023 was also the year of reconnecting with an old friend @arrogantmrcnry (over a Tinder joke profile of all things) and having friendship transition (hah) into them being the best partner in the world and love of my life. Whenever my transition comes up, they tell me how proud they are of me and I tell them that I couldn't have done all of this (to the extent I have) without them always being there to support and love me I have had some of the happiest celebrations and holidays with them at my side this past year and gone on so many little adventures (and many more to go) There isn't a single person in this entire universe that I would have rather started this journey with. They always know how to tell what I'm feeling and exactly what to say to make my day better. Even if we'll eventually stop communicating verbally since we seem to make the same damn jokes in unison always haha. We've kept each other sane through moving in together and fixing up our home, yoinking a street cat together, and the general highs and lows of life. You are the greatest partner I could have ever hoped for and I'm so elated to one day be your wife 🖤

The Pre-E but not yet Post E-Girl Era (back when I used a foundation that gave me super bad breakouts) Still some of my most fun makeup sessions besides the ones with @arrogantmrcnry also let the love of my life pierce my nose so I could stop using $2 fakes that always fell out while taking pics 😂

Some extras I didn't really know where to place but more snapshots of the year (also the best son and street muskrat anyone could wish for!)

For 2024, I've set some transition goals to start getting laser on my face (one of my last real anxieties looking in the mirror) and work on some slight voice training so I can fully utilize and embrace my deeper voice in a more femme manner. I know that this will be another amazing year of learning to be me and love life~