#thought we might be in this limbo forever

[love4hobi]

holy shit

[fairybumpkin]

ooo love is kinda complicated ain't it. wasn't expecting it

[darkscorpiox]

Utena - Analysis on the (first) ending

I did an analysis on the opening, so here’s one on the first ending.

Warning: very, VERY long post and mention of scenes from the show, enough to be considered spoilers (sorry)

Missing truth and forever, kissing love and true your heart. Hold me in your arms so true. The key to unlock tomorrow is reality.

We start with the silhouettes of two individuals, male and female respectively, close to each other with reddish/orangish roses in the background. A picturesque depiction of the fairytale romance between a man and his woman: we only see the superficial layer of the individuals and the roses are there to maintain the illusion of a romantic narrative. Then, we have outlines and colors. And though we get to see the princess’s face, it is not the case with the prince. The fact that one is more exposed (vulnerable) than the other shows some degree of inequality between them. It doesn’t help that Utena, unlike the outspoken way we see her in the first episode, appears subdued in the arms of her beloved Prince. This shows that things aren’t as they seem. And that’s without the lyrics of the song.

Missing truth and forever actually mean the same thing. The latter is another way to say “eternity” and eternity is the pain Anthy suffers at the hands of patriarchy, the truth kept hidden behind the veneer which is the Prince. In contrast, kissing love and true your heart allude to the climax of the last episode, when Utena’s sincere love for Anthy reaches the heart of the latter’s authentic self. Knowing this, the arms so true aren’t the prince’s, but Utena’s and / or Anthy’s.

The third line refers to the “revolution” everyone seeks. To change the world, to be free of the limbo that is the past, they must face and move toward reality.

I want to keep on smashing lies apart.

This line shows similarities to the Student council’s speech about “crack[ing] the world’s shell”, so they must share the same message. Interestingly, Utena closes her eyes and Anthy opens hers. It can imply that the former refuses to see the lies presented to her, but the latter is the one aware of the machinations behind the scenes and Akio’s true nature, so it might be opposite, the denial of the truth.

No matter how much the two of us may talk… …you still just can’t see anything. Excuses are fitting for the adults who just cling to old stories.

The first two lines are a good summary of the dynamic between Utena and Akio. The former is under the princely charm of the latter, but subconsciously, she knows that he only sees her as a frail little girl to use as he pleases, meaning he might as well see nothing (denying the ugly truth). When the third line comes, the trail of roses ends, indicating Utena’s realization that the Prince is not who she thought he was (Akio). It’s the end of the fantasy, the lie, created from her idealized memories.

The angels who were passed over don’t need wings to fly!

As a witch, a fallen woman, Anthy is spurned by society. However, that doesn’t mean she has to settle with the little given to her (Dios / Akio). That’s what Utena wants to tell her (hence why she occupies the screen for a moment before we focus on Anthy). By choosing Anthy instead of the fairytale happy ending, Utena becomes a fallen woman as well, but she refuses to be just that. Her self-worth should not be determined by others, especially a system which limits her to a “good” or “bad” social standing (Madonna-whore complex). If the world won’t give her the same path as everyone else’s, especially men’s, then she will make one for herself (and Anthy).

Missing truth and forever, kissing love and true your heart. I like who I’ll be tomorrow and… …I’ll believe in myself because I want to believe. I want to keep on hating lies.

(Sorry for the quality. I had to lower it to stay under the limit allowed for the image/GIF file size in one post.)

A repeat of the first four lines. This time, it’s about the belief in a better future and the lack of regret in leaving the past and the lies behind.

Utena and Anthy are both in the clutches of the Prince / patriarchy, but this time, the greenish wilting-looking roses are in the background. It can imply that the illusion is now dead to them and that they can finally see the truth.

In conclusion, the ending summarizes and foreshadows Utena’s and Anthy’s character development.

[thejujvtsupost]

When the World Comes Crashing Down…

This is my first Itafushi post, and non-insert post. I really thought this would turn out longer than it did but I got too emotional tbh. Which was disappointing bc it felt like I was writing for ages. I also chose a different aesthetic for my dividers, my usual cutesy ones don’t really fit here lmao✌️🤠 Manga spoilers past chapter 212

Notes: Itafushi, hurt, so much angst, self loathing, major character death(s), end comfort but everything is not okay™️, discussions about not wanting to live, low self worth and trauma/culling games aftermath.

Megumi Fushiguro no longer wants to live.

Megumi Fushiguro, who let his guard down at the worst moment. All in the name of stupid emotions he didn’t deserve to have.

Megumi Fushiguro, the only person capable of destroying everything precious to him so quickly.

Megumi Fushiguro let himself be taken over, he let himself become a puppet to a monster- the same monster that killed his sister. The same monster that killed Gojo, his father figure. The same monster that ripped out his love’s heart right in front of him those months ago.

Megumi Fushiguro, the boy everyone left behind. His mother died, who cares about his father that left on his own, the sorry excuse of a parent his stepmother was- at least she gave him Tsumiki. Yet, he failed her… Tsumiki died in the world she had no business being part of. The world he joined so he could protect her. He failed.

Megumi Fushiguro, whose thoughts were interrupted by the presence of another- which shouldn’t be possible while he was in this state of limbo he prayed would end every day.

Megumi Fushiguro recognized the energy in front of him, how could he not? His love, Yuuji Itadori, was his only remaining tether to the earth. And he had hurt Yuuji too. Not only did he eat his finger, he’s seen how roughly Sukuna has treated him during this battle.

“Fushiguro! Get up, it’s time to fight back and end this!”

Megumi Fushiguro was unable to do anything besides stay crumpled on the ground, begging for everything to end. “I can’t, I’ve had enough…” He couldn’t even look his love in the eye. He didn’t deserve to, he didn’t deserve the love Yuuji gave, the love they had yet to put a label on and now never would.

“Get up! Get up so you can live! You’re our only chance, look at me Fushiguro. My time is almost up here, we need you!” And Yuuji did sound desperate, but if he met his eyes he might fall to his will.

Megumi Fushiguro felt a hand on his cheek, forcing him to open his eyes and let out a sob at the sight. Yuuji was bleeding, but he really was right there in front of him…

“We need you. I need you ‘gumi, please? You’re strong enough for it. I know you are.” He felt a kiss on his forehead before the presence vanished.

Megumi Fushiguro, who wanted to die when Yuuji left him, once again, alone in limbo. He wanted to die but he didn’t want to be alone. And if he died, would he be alone forever? Would his suffering ever end or would the crushing pain continue? What happened to Jujutsu sorcerers in the afterlife?

Megumi Fushiguro, then made the decision to go where he wouldn’t be alone. He would go where he could have companionship, comfort, even if not everyone would be there to greet him. Even if his world had crashed and burned.

Megumi Fushiguro got to his feet, though it took several tries, and made his way to a door he didn’t know was there all along; that he would have seen had his fog lifted sooner.

And everything was brighter than the sun, unbearable and beyond painful, until there was nothing. Absolute nothingness as he fell unconscious- oh…

Megumi Fushiguro, who woke up in a familiar room. The too well-lit clinic of Shoko Ieiri, with his own heart beat loud, coming from a monitor to his left.

Megumi Fushiguro, who then groaned and properly opened his eyes to the world.

Megumi Fushiguro, who heard the grating noise of Satoru Gojo’s chatter- and the sight of him sitting up in bed. Of course he had the audacity of eating pudding and making a no doubt annoying comment that he couldn’t quite comprehend all the words off. But he’d let Gojo be annoying, because it meant Gojo was alive. Alive and not cut in half by his own hand.

“Damnnnn I thought you’d take longer to wake up, now I owe your boyfriend money. Quick, go back to sleep before he notices and we’ll pretend this never happened.”

Megumi Fushiguro caught a few words, Boyfriend?

Megumi Fushiguro, whose hand was weighed down by one of his pink haired love’s own.

Megumi Fushiguro managed, against his will, to blush. Yuuji was knocked out at his bedside, slumped over the edge of the bed and lightly snoring. Good. God knows how long he’s been awake…

Megumi Fushiguro lost many people, good people that didn’t deserve to die. People that shouldn’t have died so young.

“Alright alright, you’re obviously not going back to sleep I guess. YUUUUUUUUJI YOUR LOVER’S AWAKE!” And Yuuji jerked awake with a snort and looked around, as if he was trying to discern where the fire was- then smiled at him so big…

Megumi Fushiguro let a few tears drop (also against his will) because maybe he lost many, but he did still have people to care about him. He really did.

Megumi Fushiguro wasn’t alone.

Megumi Fushiguro was gonna be okay. Definitely not now, but eventually…

Megumi Fushiguro decided he would live.

Thinking about making a request? Check my bio to see if they’re open!

[yeyinde]

Okay thinking OUT of the “x reader” universe - do you think the boys (141, los vaqueros) have actual families out there waiting for them?? We know Laswell’s married and Price just gives off too many daddy/dilf vibes, I just know in my bones that he has a wife and kids.

Soap and Gaz have partners too probs, not necessarily married and/or with kids but in a relationship. Same with Alejandro. In my opinion Rudy would be open for a relationship but just isn’t lucky and Ghost’s probably a lone wolf. But I still think Price’s the only one with kids 🤔

What’s your take on this??

i completely agree! i thought a lot about this, tbh so sorry for the rambling lmao and thank you so much for sending it in!!! 🖤

i think Price maybe has kids (but he's never around enough to see them). he also seems to throw himself into stuff, so if anything, i'd say a failing marriage/one of the verge of implosion. he's never home, always off somewhere else trying to save the world. but his kids adore him, and his wife would want to make it work. i just feel like he'd either be separated, a single dad, or in limbo. he's a great dad, of course! amazing!! but i tend to lean toward all the shows i've seen about this similar cut of a man and his standing within his family unit. maybe he's in couples therapy, but def either pending or already is divorced.

Gaz, i think, would either be on tinder or has a relationship with someone he met while in uni. maybe just friends/casual for now since he's very young, but he does have someone he cares for!

Soap... i actually dunno. because he was so willing to throw himself to the cartels and undertake so many dangerous missions when NO ONE else volunteered. i don't see him having anything serious/long term for that reason. i think he wants it, though. desperately. but he's committed himself full-time to the role and his duty, and everything else will inevitably end up secondary. i think he isn't in a relationship, per se; but he definitely is exclusive with someone just no labels. maybe a bartender near his home that he has a special relationship with or a neighbour.

Ghost probably doesn't have anyone. if he did, it would be a fleeting thing: nothing ever concrete or tangible, and nothing at all with the promise of forever. i don't think he would allow himself that. he's a loner. i wouldn't call him lonely, either, nor resigned. this is what he prefers, and what he would have picked. he's the type of man who give himself wholly, like the rest, and this aspect of his life is no different.

i think Alejandro has the most stable work-life balance. the little things Valeria, and Rudy say about him makes me think he either has a family or at the very least, has a wife.

and Rudy, i think he has a childhood sweetheart that he eventually wants to marry, but nothing serious, and he's still single. he's also resolved himself to the idea that they might marry someone else before he plucks up the nerve/finds the right time, and he's come to terms with that (already broke his own heart). i think he would devote himself fully to someone, and right now, that's cleaning up Las Almas.

i do think it would change once they get a bit older, though!

[xtaketwox]

I'm Betting It All On You

Summary: Lucien is tired of living in limbo. He has a proposition for Elain. One kiss and if she still doesn't want him, he'll leave her alone forever.

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: None

Read on AO3

@elucienweekofficial

“I have a proposition.”

Elain looked up from the rosebush she was pruning, a basket of flowers at her feet. Her heart—the traitor—sped up at the sound of his voice, the familiar swooping sensation hitting her stomach the moment she looked at him. He took a stepped closer when she held his gaze, and her breath caught as the sunlight glinted off his hair.

“A proposition?” she asked, ignoring her body’s response to her mate.

Lucien took another step towards her, and if she hadn’t seen him clench and unclench his fist, she might have thought he was perfectly at ease. 

“I—we can’t continue to live in limbo like this.” Lucien stopped two feet away, forcing Elain to tilt her head up. “We need to settle our bond, one way or the other.”

She froze, shock beating like a pulse through her body. In the years since the bond had snapped, they had both abided by an unspoken agreement to pretend the bond didn’t exist. Lucien had stopped giving her gifts, had stopped seeking her out at all. Elain didn’t know what prompted his hesitancy to get to know her, and she hadn’t questioned it. Out of all the bad luck their bond had brought her, at least Lucien had felt as disinclined to pursue her as she was to pursue him. She couldn’t fathom what would prompt him to disregard that unspoken agreement now. 

“What are you proposing?” It was all she could think to say, though she was already prepared to turn down whatever suggestion Lucien made. She wasn’t being intentionally cruel by neither accepting nor breaking the bond; she might not want Lucien, but that didn’t mean she wanted to risk him going insane from a broken bond. 

Lucien’s gaze dropped to her lips for a prolonged moment, stealing the breath from her chest.

“We kiss.” 

Whatever Elain had expected him to say, it hadn’t been that. 

“No.”

Lucien sighed, as if she had reacted exactly as he expected. “It will help us decide if we’re even compatible.”

“I already know we are,” Elain said, crossing her arms and looking away. It was Lucien’s turn to be surprised, reeling back as if she had slapped him. “Everyone knows mating bonds manipulate people, making people who don’t even like each other unable to keep their hands to themselves. A kiss between us would do nothing.”

Lucien mirrored her stance, crossing his arms, his lips pressed into a firm line. “If the bond manipulated people, then we wouldn’t have spent years ignoring each other. Your logic is flawed.” He tilted his head, considering her. “Or are you afraid?”

Irritation burned hot in her chest, and by the gleam in his eye, Lucien knew it. She refused to rise to the bait, clasping her hands in front of her. “I’m not afraid. I only know that kissing won’t prove anything.”

Lucien took yet another step toward her, hardly a foot separating them. She tilted her head back further, but her wide-brimmed hat kept her from seeing his eyes. Lucien reached up and pulled the hat from her head, letting it drop into the ground beside them. Elain started to reach for it, but Lucien grasped her wrist to stop her. 

It was all she could do not to shudder at the feel of his skin against the sensitive underside of her wrist. The bob of his throat signaled Lucien was equally affected. When he spoke, his deep voice was hushed.

“If we kiss and you still don’t want anything to do with me, I’ll leave you alone forever.”

Elain’s mouth popped up as she sucked in a breath. She could hear how quickly Lucien’s heart was beating. He was gambling big on a single kiss. 

“Forever?” 

Lucien’s thumb swiped over her wrist, sending goosebumps up her arm. “For as long as you never want to see me, you won’t. I’ll refuse all of Feyre’s holiday invitations, report to Rhysand in the Illyrian Steppes, and you’ll never have to feel me again. You can even reject the bond if you choose.”

The thought of never seeing Lucien again immediately filled Elain with dread, but she forced the feelings down, sure that it was just the bond’s emotional manipulation. She wanted to make decisions about her own life and who she loved. She didn’t want a bond telling her who she was supposed to love. If it were known that she and Lucien had decided to reject their bond, perhaps she could still find love some day. As it stood, the fae held too much respect for mating bonds to agree to courting a mated female. 

Elain lifted her chin. “Very well.”

The corners of Lucien’s mouth drew up in a cheshire grin, prompting Elain to put a hand on his chest to stop his immediate descent. 

“Wait. We need to establish the rules.”

Lucien’s eyebrows rose. “What are you suggesting.”

Elain took a deep breath, immediately regretting it when the scent of spiced apples and cypress nearly overwhelmed her. Her face heated at having to speak so frankly about kissing, but she wanted to make sure Lucien took no liberties. 

“Closed-mouth only and your hands do not stray off my waist.”

Lucien snorted. “No.” At her affronted look, he clarified. “I will keep my hands from straying, but I refuse to agree to nothing more than a chaste kiss.”

“Why?” She stepped back, trying to remove his tantalizing scent from her nose. She needed to keep a clear head.

“A peck on the lips isn’t going to accomplish anything.”

Elain crossed her arms, her suspicions confirmed. “Accomplish? I thought this was purely educational, but it seems you came with an agenda.”

Fire burned behind Lucien’s eye. “Yes, I did. I came to prove to you and me both that we’re meant to be. I’m tired of living my life not knowing if or when this bond will be resolved, and if I’m going to spend the rest of my miserable existence without my mate, then I’m going to at least know what she tastes like.”

Suddenly the sun felt too hot, her clothes too tight. As if he could see the effect his words had on her, Lucien stepped back into her space. “I’ll keep my hands to myself, but if you truly want to convince yourself of your indifference, then you’ll let me kiss you how I’ve been dreaming of it.”

Elain knew he was mocking her, but again, she refused to rise to the bait. Let him think what he wanted. If it accomplished a lifetime free of this bond, then she could ignore her baser urges for a few moments.

“Fine.”

Lucien blinked, clearly not expecting her to agree. 

“If you keep your hands on my waist—”

“Or your face.”

Elain huffed. “What?”

Lucien raised his hand and cupped her jaw, his thumb brushing against her cheekbone. “I want to be able to touch your face.”

Elain’s breath caught, her gut clenching as desire nearly overwhelmed her at his soft touch. 

“Fine,” she rasped. “You keep your hands on my waist or face and I’ll agree to let you kiss me—on the lips—however you want.”

Lucien’s eye gleamed as he nodded, lowering his mouth to hers. “Agreed,” he murmured, just before brushing his lips against hers. 

Elain knew it was a mistake at that first touch. She nearly moaned, her breath catching as warmth spread through her, sending a pulse straight down between her thighs. Lucien used his hand to tilt her head, his other hand grasping her waist to pull her closer as his tongue brushed against the seam of her mouth. Elain opened for him, nearly melting into him at the first swipe of his tongue into her mouth. 

This was nothing like kissing Graysen. There had been love between them, and even a modicum of passion, but it paled in comparison to the raging inferno that now tore through Elain, chanting for her to grab the front of Lucien’s shirt and press herself closer. 

Lucien groaned, the sound vibrating through her, telling her he was just as affected as she was. This knowledge drove her even closer to the brink of insanity and she did fist his shirt and press herself fully against him. Lucien’s hand slid from her jaw into her hair, and Elain was so focused on what his tongue was doing that she didn’t even realize he had already broken the rules. His other hand slid to her lower back as he deepened the kiss, pulling a groan out of Elain. 

She should have realized that a male who had been alive for centuries would know how to kiss. She should have remembered Lucien was known for his cunning. He had known his experience far outweighed hers, had probably known he could sway her with a kiss. 

She should have insisted it remain chaste. 

When Lucien pulled back, Elain whimpered and tried to follow, her eyes widening in horror when she realized what she was doing. Lucien smirked down at her. 

“Well?” His voice was low and gravelly, his chest rising and falling rapidly. “Am I spending the rest of my life alone?”

Elain closed her eyes, trying to keep herself from staring at Lucien’s face while she gathered her thoughts. The scent of spiced apples and cypress were heady in her nose, her nostrils flaring with each inhale. She heard two hearts racing and was unable to distinguish hers from his. 

Gods, that had been better than she could have imagined. All she wanted was to keep going, but she didn’t trust herself to know whether she truly wanted it or if the bond was forcing her to feel things. She didn’t want regrets in the morning. 

Without opening her eyes, she whispered, “How do I know it’s real? What if it’s just the bond?”

Lucien’s hand slid back to her jaw, his thumb brushing her lips. “I suppose there isn’t a way, but I think you’re misinformed over how mating bonds work.”

Elain opened her eyes, confused. 

Lucien’s gaze was on her lips as he spoke. “A bond can’t manufacture feelings. It can perhaps push people into feeling sexual attraction, but I think you’re forgetting that the bond is woven into the fabric of who we are. We’ve been mates since before you were born. I had to wait, but the bond was always there. It doesn’t appear out of thin air. Just because it snapped after you were Made, doesn’t mean that’s when it was created.”

Elain could only blink at him as she digested this information. He waited patiently, though his stare grew more heated as time went on. Finally, Elain grasped his wrist, pulling his hand from her face and taking several steps back.

“This isn’t a no, but I would like time to think about what you said and decide what I’m feeling.”

Disappointment and a sadness that tugged at Elain’s heart flashed through Lucien’s face, but he nodded. “Of course.”

He turned to leave, but Elain grabbed his arm to halt him. When he looked back, she said, “I’ll meet you tomorrow at your apartment here in Velaris for dinner.” She phrased it as a statement, but there was a question in her tone.

Lucien nodded, his relief palpable that she wasn’t going to make him wait indefinitely. “Very well.”

Elain dropped his wrist, ignoring her desire to stop him from leaving as she watched him walk away. She would spend the next twenty-four hours thinking about what she wanted, and one way or another, tomorrow things would be settled.

* * *

It took Elain twice as long as it should have to reach Lucien’s apartment the following evening. She had changed her mind halfway there several times and then again on her way back to the river house. 

She had slept very little the night before. Lucien’s words played on a loop in her mind and when she did finally sleep, her dreams had followed that kiss to an erotic conclusion. She had woken both exhausted and body throbbing. It had taken only a few swipes of her fingers for an orgasm to shatter through her. Then she had made sure to scrub every inch of herself thoroughly in the bath, well aware that everyone would be able to scent her arousal. 

Standing in front of Lucien’s door, she took a deep breath, closed her eyes, and knocked. The door opened immediately, as if he had been waiting right beside it. 

“Hello,” Elain said, nerves making her voice breathy. 

Lucien stepped aside and gestured for her to enter. “Please come in.” 

Elain twisted her fingers together as she stepped through the door into the space. She had never been—though she had always known where Lucien’s apartment was located—and looked around, impressed with the space. She followed Lucien into the living room, the kitchen overlooking the room. It wasn’t large, but it had a cozy feel to it. She couldn’t help but notice the Autumn influences throughout the space, decorated in shades of orange, brown, and green. 

A small table, just big enough for two, stood in the space between the kitchen and living room. There were two place settings and as she noticed them, the scents from the kitchen hit her nose.

“You cook?” Elain asked.

Lucien huffed a laugh. “No. Not well anyway. I picked up something from a restaurant near here. I hope you like fish.” 

It struck Elain then how little they knew about one another. “I love fish.”

Lucien’s shoulders sagged in obvious relief and Elain realized then how nervous he was to have her here. 

“Would you like to talk before or after dinner?”

Elain forced herself to stop fidgeting as she squared her shoulders. “I think it’s best to get it over with.”

Lucien froze, horror dawning on his face. Elain immediately took a step forward, reaching for him. “My answer is yes.”

His mouth parted and he blinked several times at her, as if needing a moment to process. “…yes?”

Elain took yet another step towards him, tilting her chin up. “After you left yesterday, I requested information on mating bonds from Nesta’s friend Gwyn. I also talked to Rhys. I would have talked to Feyre as well, but I didn’t want her to get her hopes up.”

Lucien was hardly breathing. “What did you discover?”

Elain shrugged. “More or less what you told me. I’m not one hundred percent sure I agree that mating bonds aren’t manipulative, but it’s also not quite as mindless as I assumed. Rhys also pointed out that strong sexual attraction happens to people without mating bonds.” 

Lucien closed his eyes, his nostrils flaring. When he opened them again, his gaze was so hot that Elain’s stomach flipped. 

“What do you want to do then?” he asked. 

Elain dropped her gaze to his mouth. “I think…I’d like to kiss you again.”

Lucien immediately yanked on her hand, pulling her flush against him as he dipped his head, pressing his lips hungrily against hers. He dropped her hand, sliding his hand to the small of her back, his other hand tilting her jaw.

Elain whimpered as he slid his tongue into her mouth. Without realizing what she even planned to do, she reached under his shirt, needing to feel his skin against her hands. 

Lucien shuddered, breaking the kiss and leaning his head against hers to whisper, “Fuck.”

Elain couldn’t help but agree in her head as her fingers climbed the ridges of his abdomen. “Kiss me,” she whispered, needing his mouth on her again. 

Lucien complied, and Elain gasped when he placed his hands on her waist and walked her backward until her back hit the wall, his tongue doing delicious things in her mouth as he did so. 

Elain thought she might spontaneously combust. Lucien brushed his thumbs along her ribs, but kept his hands from straying anywhere else, per their agreement the previous day. 

Elain broke the kiss only long enough to say, “Please touch me.”

Lucien growled into her mouth as his hands slid up, gently squeezing her breasts through her dress. Her knees nearly gave out, a jolt of arousal hitting her clit at the contact. She could feel his smirk against her lips as he wrapped an arm around her waist to hold her upright. 

Gods, he barely touched her and she was about to lose her mind. 

Elain slid her hands under his shirt again, raking her nails lightly down his stomach and then around and up his spine. Lucien groaned, pulling Elain closer so that she could feel the hard length of him against her stomach. He kissed his way from her mouth, along her jaw, to her ear. 

“What are you doing to me?” he whispered, his voice sending shivers down her spine. 

He continued kissing a trail down her throat and across her collar bone, sucking gently. Elain felt feverish, her clothes suddenly too tight. Lucien kissed the tops of her breasts and she wanted to scream at him to hurry up. 

As if he had heard her plea, he pulled the fabric of her dress down. He leaned back, his gaze hungry as he stared at her breasts. Just when Elain was contemplating shoving his face against her, he lowered his head, his tongue laving across one nipple before sucking it into his mouth. 

Elain gasped, her knees actually giving out now. Lucien deftly caught her, scooping her into his arms and walking toward his bedroom, dinner forgotten. Elain plunged both hands into his hair, grasping tightly as she kissed him again. 

Lucien set her on his bed and laid between her spread legs, immediately returning his mouth to her breast. He knew what he was doing, every touch sending jolts of arousal south, until Elain thought she might combust. 

Now that he had her in his bed, Lucien seemed in no hurry, his mouth teasing its way from one breast to the other. His hands dropped to her legs, bunching the material of her skirt before slowly pushing it up. Elain shivered when his fingers skimmed across her hips. He pulled back long enough for her to sit up so he could undo the buttons of her dress and pull it over her head. 

Lucien’s pupil blew wide at the sight of her in nothing but underwear, his breath ragged. Elain grasped the edge of his shirt and pulled up. Lucien helped her, pulling it off and tossing it away. Elain’s mouth watered as she took in his bronzed torso, the dips and valleys of his abdomen begging for her tongue.

Before she could act on that desire, Lucien gently pushed her back down. He towered over her, his eyes moving rapidly over her, as if he didn’t know where to look first. Elain, not used to being so on display, crossed her arms over her chest.

Lucien shook his head, gently grabbing her wrists. 

“Please let me look at you,” he breathed. He waited until her soft nod before pulling her arms away. His breath caught and she watched, fascinated, as he shuddered above her. 

“You’re so beautiful.” His voice was so low, she wondered if he had meant to say the words out loud. 

She didn’t know how to respond, so she simply said, “So are you.” 

His eye snapped to hers, and she smiled at the shock on his face. “Surely, you’ve been told before how beautiful you are.”

Something that looked like grief crossed his expression before he shook his head. “Not often since I lost my eye.” 

Elain sat up, Lucien leaning back to give her space. She reached up to caress his face, brushing her fingers lightly over the scars running from his brow to his jaw. He closed his eyes, his hands grasping her waist, as if he needed something to steady himself. 

“I didn’t know you before,” she said, glancing towards his good eye, “but the moment I first saw you, I thought you were the most handsome man or fae I had ever seen.” Lucien swallowed, seeming unable to talk, so Elain continued, tracing the scars up and down his face. “It scared me, how much I wanted you, especially—” she cut off, not wanting to mar the moment with the reminder of her ex-fiance. She grabbed both sides of his face. “I need you to know, I didn’t stay away because I wasn’t attracted to you.” His breathing grew more rapid. “I stayed away because I couldn’t stand to be around you and not touch you. I…I didn’t trust that what I wanted was real, but I always wanted you, Lucien.”

Lucien immediately pulled her close, crushing his lips to hers. This kiss was like a firestorm, full of heat and a swirl of emotions flowing through the bond. Elain wasn’t sure which were her own and which belonged to Lucien. They had occasionally felt each other’s emotions through the bond, but had both learned to build a wall to their mind. Now, it would seem those walls had been crumbled to dust. 

Elain pulled away with a gasp, Lucien trailing kisses back down her jaw, neck, across her collar bone. He laid her back as he kissed and sucked his way down the valley of her breasts. She fisted the sheets at her side and shoved her chest up, silently begging him to show her breasts attention. Lucien smiled against her skin as he ignored the silent plea and continued kissing lower. 

Elain’s dream from that morning flashed briefly through her head, and her whole body jerked at the memory. Just when he was almost where she needed him, he pulled back, a feral grin on his face when she whined in protest. 

He skimmed his fingers down her leg, leaving a trail of goosebumps in his wake, lifting her ankle and pressing a kiss on it. He trailed kisses up her calf, the inside of her knee, gently sucking as he did so. Elain started shaking when he reached the inside of her thigh, silently begging him to give her relief. 

Once again, he pulled away before reaching where Elain wanted him. He pulled her underwear down, tossing it aside and pulling her leg over his shoulder before shimming his fingers down the other leg and repeating the process. By the time he was sucking on the inside of her thigh, Elain felt taut as a bowstring, her legs already shaking. 

She was just about to resort to begging when he finally lowered his mouth, swiping his tongue up through her folds and sucking her clit in his mouth. Elain bowed off the bed, releasing the sheets in favor of gripping Lucien’s hair to hold him in place. He placed a hand on her abdomen to hold her down as he licked and sucked. 

It took almost no time before Elain pressed a hand over her mouth to stifle her scream as she came, stars bursting behind her closed eyes. Lucien pulled her hand away, kissing her though her orgasm. She didn’t know how he knew that’s what she needed, but she immediately gripped his hair to hold him there. He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close. 

It wasn’t close enough. Elain wrapped her legs around his waist, irritated when she realized Lucien still wore his pants. He pulled away without her having to ask, shoving his pants and underwear down and kicking them away before laying back between her legs. 

Elain immediately wrapped her legs around his waist, a satisfied sound leaving her as she felt the length of him against her skin. 

“I need you,” she whispered, kissing him desperately. “I want all of you.”

Lucien shuddered, pulling away just far enough to line himself up before slowly pushing in. 

Elain gasped at the stretch, closing her eyes. Lucien stilled, his thumb brushing against her cheek. “Let me know if I hurt you.” 

Elain shook her head, unable to form the words to tell him it felt wonderful, right, like this was how they were meant to be. “Go,” was all she managed to say.

Lucien kissed her again as he pushed further in, going too slowly. Elain wrapped her legs around him, pushing her heels into his ass and tilting her hips to drive him completely in. He cursed and Elain smiled at the wave of satisfaction that coursed through her. 

Fire stared at her from Lucien’s eye as he ghosted his lips against her and whispered, “You’ll pay for that.”

“I certainly hope so,” she whispered back with a boldness she didn’t realize she possessed. 

Lucien crushed his lips back to hers as he snapped his hips, swallowing Elain’s gasp. He was everywhere, his mouth on hers, his hands roaming over her skin, his hips snapping a fiery pace. Just like his kissing, Lucien’s centuries of experience were evident, and rather than jealousy at the thought of females of the past, Elain wanted to find them all and thank them for their service. 

She had never felt so unhinged, her emotions completely unbridled. The bond hummed between them, emotions flying back and forth so quickly that it was impossible to distinguish who was feeling what, or if they were both feeling exactly the same thing. 

He shifted his angle and Elain cried out as he hit a spot inside that made her vision blur. She felt another orgasm coiling in her stomach, drawing tighter with every thrust, until she thought she might snap in two. She whimpered when Lucien changed angles again, leaving her on the precipice. 

He leaned down, his breath hot on her ear as he whispered, “What do you want, Elain?”

She struggled to form words, her brain too full of the sensations he was dragging out of her. 

He kissed right below her ear and his voice sounded strained. “Tell me what you need.”

“More,” she finally managed to say, her own hands roaming over his skin, wanted to be closer still, wanting to fuse their bodies together. 

Lucien obliged, skimming his hand from her face down between them, lightly circling her clit. 

It wasn’t enough. “More,” she gasped.

Lucien smiled as he sped up his fingers, pressing harder. Elain began shaking again, every muscle in her body pulling tight as he wound her higher and higher, his hips snapping in time with the swipes of his fingers. Just when she thought her muscles might snap, Lucien hit that spot inside her and she screamed, her orgasm rolled over her. 

She just barely registered Lucien’s own scream as he went rigid above her before he collapsed, only barely managing to keep himself from crushing her. He wrapped his arms around her, squeezing her close, his head on her chest. 

They laid in silence, both gasping for breath, Elain still twitching from her orgasm. She idly ran her fingers through his hair while his arms squeezed her close almost to the point of pain. 

“I—that’s never happened before.”

Lucien raised his head, his eyes wide as he stared at her. She almost laughed when his mechanical eye started whirring.

“What do you mean?” she asked. She marveled at how comfortable, how right she felt. There was no post-sex awkwardness, no self-conscious desire to cover back up now that the act was over. Instead, she felt like she might never want to move, to spend the rest of her days doing nothing but comb her fingers through her mate’s ruby-colored hair. 

“It’s never been that intense, that—good.”

Elain couldn’t help her smile at hearing that. “Oh?”

Lucien laughed at the look of pride on her face, reaching up to flick her nose. Her smile dropped, replaced by awe.

“What?” Lucien asked, his gaze traveling between her eyes frantically. 

“I’ve never heard you laugh before,” she said. 

Palpable relief swept over him and he chuckled, tucking a stray curl behind her ear. 

“When I was around you, I was usually too busy trying to give you space to hear anything anyone said to me.” He flashed a grin. “I’m actually quite charming.”

Elain rolled her eyes, biting her lip against her return grin. 

She panicked when he pulled away, but relaxed when he lay on his back and pulled her half on top of him. She laid her head on his chest, wrapping her arms around his chest. He slid his leg between hers, one hand resting on her hip as the other gently skimmed up and down her back. She wondered if he needed the closeness as much as she did. 

They lay there silently, soaking up the silence and each other’s presence. Eventually, Elain sat up, biting her lip as she looked down at Lucien. 

“Now what?”

Lucien raised his eyebrows. “You’ll have to be a little more specific.”

“What are we?” she replied. “Does this mean we accepted the bond? Are we courting? Are we going to remain apart and occasionally sleep together?”

Lucien snarled at that last remark, and something in Elain’s chest eased. She watched him swallow, noting the way he tensed up, as if preparing for her rejection. 

“We can be whatever you like.” 

She watched him through narrow eyes. “What would you like?”

He was unable to hide the panic in his expression fast enough. Elain cupped his cheek. “I’m not going anywhere. I just want to know what you want.”

His gaze felt like it was peering into her soul, trying to figure out if she was telling the truth. “I want everything,” he finally whispered. “I want to be where you are or have you where I am. I want a mating ceremony. I want a wedding if that’s what you want. I want a house to call our own. I want—” he stopped short, deciding against whatever he had planned to say. 

Elain smiled. “I want children someday too.” 

His eyes widened at her response. “You—”

Elain kissed his peck, setting her chin on his chest. “I want all of it. I just wanted to make sure we were on the same page.”

Lucien’s breath whooshed out and before she knew what was happening, he had her on her back. “You’re going to pay for that.”

Elain grinned as a thrill of excitement made her shiver. 

“Do your worst, mate.”

Lucien’s answering grin was feline.

[zeravmeta]

long winded whining underneath

saw that post abt the saberfaces and like while I can understand the point in like, a billion dollar company reusing a design/design element might not appear favorable and it isn't even that wrong to say they are squeezing their cash cow flagship character i fundamentally disagree because thats like the equivalent of complaining about jojo having every protagonist with a name that can be shortened to jojo or final fantasy always having reused monsters like bahamut

and this isnt even a "oh saber is good i swear!" type thing but like. fate's been around for almost two decades now and has had tons of media made with plenty of recurring motifs and thematics that are acknowledged by the writers who are incredibly vocal fans of the series so if you're going into a long established franchise and complaining about long standing injokes and long standing patterns it comes across less as poining out the flaws in a billion dollar company and more like you just dont like that you didnt get it at first? takeuchi samefaceness isnt a problem unique to takeuchi and there are thousands of artists who have the same issue and even then a bunch of the saberfaces werent even drawn by takeuchi at first (nero was wada and jeanne & mordred was konoe) so them playing off the saberface jokes with designs isnt even that agregious because even if they have similar colors you'd have to be reading it in bad faith to say that the fgo artoria and fgo jeannes takeuchi designs are the exact same. an artist can have a style to how they draw their characters and just because there is overlap does not automatically equate that to having lazy designs.

more than anything saberfacing is part of nasuverse iconography, when a character is a saberface it isnt just about selling the design it is in fact an intentional design choice that tells you about the themeing of the character. im not going to say that nasuverse lore is sacred because it definitely isnt and they are in fact just doing what they think is cool but when you have nasu literally adding a chapter for limbo because he thought hasendows design was so beautiful it shouldn't be limited to a single appearance and then had that expanded into one of the more popular story chapters that tells you that these are creators who do pay attention to the designs that go into their characters. the same applies to chica umenos oberon, to wada and redrops designs and so many more, they absolutely care about the art that goes into their series.

I'm not gonna tell you that you must absolutely do your homework to enjoy any piece of fate media we are all free to do literally whatever we want forever and -clenches fist- you can also enjoy it in any type of way even in a surface level way. but when you acknowledge that a series is long standing with deeper themes acknowledged by its long standing playerbase and that the writers have so much passion for their own work (for better or worse, again nasuverse is absolutely not immune to criticism), saying that it comes across as disingenuous to have a recurring character design injoke because its heavily popular now despite not being popular once upon a time in itself comes across as disingenuous. nasuverse stuff being born of niche doujin circles and still being in touch with those roots isnt some kind of disqualification of the existence of saberfaces or the reasons behind them. when we ask you to read fate stay night its literally because we want you to enjoy it More so that you can, in fact, understand why saberface is a thing to begin with. being a popular franchise nowadays doesnt remove any of that charm unless you're specifically ignoring them. we literally have bbs profile in fgo say 'if you want to understand her deal and the deal of other similar characters read fate extra ccc' (bb herself being a sakuraface) so like theyre fully forward about the most accessible entrypoint into the franchise having a ton of history behind it

[voted4exile]

understanding, not forgiveness

/dsmp rp

The biggest misconception about Tommy’s Last Stream is that c!Tommy forgave c!Dream. This never happened!

From the moment he steps into the main cell, c!Tommy does everything to keep both c!Dream and c!Punz from leaving. From challenging the two, to taunting c!Dream, to questioning his motives, to asking for his perspective of the server, c!Tommy tries many things. It’s clear that he’s not really interested or listening to what c!Dream or c!Punz has to say. All he cares about is stalling for c!Tubbo.

Tommy: K. I’ve muted. I just need to stall. I just need to stall them. [19:09]

Tommy: What do I say? Just to keep him here. What would keep him here? What would keep them here? Um… [19:58]

Tommy: Come on, Tubbo, faster, Tubbo. [25:40]

Tommy: Come on, Tubbo, come on, Tubbo, come on, Tubbo. [28:38]

After the last time he quietly calls for c!Tubbo, c!Dream goes on about how he was pushed to hit back, how he did evil things, and how c!Tommy could have been stuck in limbo forever. But c!Dream has the means to bring people back, and he doesn’t want life to be temporary.

That’s when c!Tommy chooses to discard items in the lava to put his armor away. He faces c!Dream and apologizes.

Tommy: You know what, Dream? I’m sorry. Because you’re right. Maybe you were having more fun. Maybe you were happy before I joined. But you can’t control who comes in and out. And- And- You know, you can have all these little areas, and that’s fun, but we’re all in this Dream SMP together. But you spent your entire life trying to get power, and before this revive book, you were the same alright. Before you had this power that you’ve always craved and you’ve got now, alright. You were the same old. I just don’t know how you can live with yourself. [30:25]

This apology might be genuine or it might be another tactic to stall. Just two minutes ago he was asking for c!Tubbo to hurry, so it’s more likely that he is saying whatever he can.

Not too long after, c!Dream kills c!Tommy, sending him to limbo. c!Tommy witnesses c!Dream’s first moments on the Dream SMP. When he is revived, he comes back, reeling from the pain. But once he gathers his bearings, he tells c!Dream about the vision he had. A vision of a happier c!Dream with c!George and c!Sapnap, living a simple life. c!Tommy realizes c!Dream wasn’t always evil and that what he really wants is something simple.

Dream: Well, we can go- We can get back- back to that. Once we understand the server, once we understand how life works and everything, then we- everyone will be- Y’know, they’ll be…

Tommy: That’s why you’re doing this, isn’t it? You just want it to be simple. *scoffs* Dream. I thought you were complicated. I thought- God, I thought you were a villain, Dream. I thought you were. [38:32]

This isn’t c!Tommy forgiving him, and c!Tommy is not saying c!Dream is innocent. He makes it clear that what c!Dream is doing is still wrong.

Tommy: I’m saying I think I understand you. And I don’t- I don’t think we’ve ever had a moment, since I joined, of being on the same side, the same page. But Dream. That’s okay. But this? Your way of doing this, of having to kill everyone else? That’s- You- That’s not right. This. This! A fucking torture trap! A Saw trap! Where one person has to survive? That’s not okay. But this, Dream. This- What you have inside you? You just want friends. Aw, me too, man. I get that. I get that! [40:26]

c!Tommy is being genuine when he says he understands c!Dream. It’s no longer about stalling. Unlike before, he has stopped calling for c!Tubbo to hurry up. He’s actively listening to c!Dream. He even tells c!Dream to “Speak up” when c!Punz talks over him. Most importantly, he actually asks c!Dream to call off the plan so they can leave the prison. 

Tommy: It’s not too late, man. You don’t need this. This life of prison, of killing, of torture, you could- You can stop this now. And we can leave this prison. [42:08]

This moment best supports that c!Tommy is being genuine. He is offering c!Dream an exit from both his plan and the prison itself. It’s no longer about keeping c!Dream in the targeted nuke zone.

Dream: Why can’t it just be simple again? Why can’t it just be like that forever? We can live forever, and we can- everyone can be… friends. And… I feel like it just- everything got- just so jumbled.

Tommy: Along the way... I’m with you, man. I’m with you.

Dream: Is it not too late? We can work together, and we can figure out-

Tommy: *hears sirens* Oh no. [43:25]

Unfortunately, the two have reached an understanding far too late. The nuke is about to hit, and c!Tommy apologizes. 

Tommy: I’m sorry.

Dream: You’re sorry for what? You’re sorry for what, Tommy?! Punz, I think we need to get out of here.

Punz: Yeah, yeah. We- We gotta- We gotta fucking go. We have to fucking go.

Tommy: Guys. It’s too late. It’s the whole prison. I just- I didn’t-

Punz: You’re fucking lying.

Tommy: I didn’t know. [44:50]

c!Tommy is sorry because it’s too late for them to escape the nuke that he had c!Tubbo launch. He didn’t know there was another option, that he and c!Dream could actually come to an understanding. 

Not once does c!Tommy forgive c!Dream for what he has done. Understanding is not forgiveness. This wasn’t redemption either. What c!Tommy was offering c!Dream was an opportunity to make things right. But it was far too late.

[go-learn-esperanto]

I would like to have finished writing the well thought out post I was gonna do initially but I've been extremely busy today, so I'm just gonna say.

I am so distraught by what this situation has done to my community.

Right now I'm in constant anxiety and terror because I don't know which of the blogs I followed and loved, and even possible friends, are just gonna leave forever.

It hurts seeing something that was mostly build by the fandom - let's be real, the last year of Dream SMP popularity has mainly remained because we are so many and we created fics and art, and videos and everything. It wasn't the the Minecraft server. Definitely not just that.

And more than that the Minecraft server isn't just Dream. There are so many CCs who poured all their art in it, and to see the story gone? The community gone? Just like that? That would destroy me.

I spent the last 2 years dedicating so much of my time, love and happiness to it. I made so many friends in this community.

I really don't want to say I left a fandom not because I lost interest but because the fandom sinked all around me.

The last Reblogs aren't done with lightness in my heart they're made of desperation, of simultaneously trying to maybe make my followers happier with fun posts and trying to convince them to maybe not leave, or even the worst of them all, scattering trying to reblog a posts of a blog that has said they won't be here anymore.

To me the Dream SMP was ours. We all got together when there was a new Sad-ist or Late August animatic, a lot of my music library is Dream SMP fan songs, Passerine was a fanfic with fics, music and animations made out of it. A lot of us talk about the Super Hero au like it's canon sometimes, we fought to get that Ao3 tag!!! We made content in the Dream SMP canon (the white streak, YCGMA limbo).

I am inclined to say that the fandom as a whole is as much of a Content Creator as the the Dream SMP's content creators, if not more (we are a lot of people).

And now some are leaving for very valid reasons, and us that are staying know that we'll have to find way to make this work in a sensible way - that we'll also suffer consequences of having extra hate thrown at us, even if we really haven't supported Dream directly in a long time (I for example never really liked manhunts that much so outside that really small lore video of Dream I haven't touched a Dream video or stream for more than a year).

And to think of the community that bonded around an Ode to L'Manburg and still knows how to sing it today. To think of a community that is such a safe space for LGBTQI+ people. To think of the inside jokes about salmon. To think about the zines. To think about the fact that I could live of fan content!!! Because we had almost all art forms! From embroidery to book binding, to composing to drawing, animatics/animation, sculpting, cosplaying, writing, programming, etc... I have seen it all.

And to think it can all be threatened by a single person? When we are literally millions? It's a feeling I can't really describe.

I can only wish that on the best case scenario something happens like what happened to Hermitcraft - the server goes to another person. But part of me thinks we might end up like Yandere Highschool, although worse because everyone knows about the Dream SMP. I'm starting to wonder if that even is wishful thinking. Because at least people leave Yandere Highschool fans alone because almost nobody knows about it.

All of this to say - more than the lore I am worried about the people and friends I might lose because of this situation, and what I wish is for we all to come out of this the least scratched as possible, so that maybe we can still play a little melody.

[yua-nism]

An analysis of Momochi: from a student interested in psychology

The main thing I’ll be talking about here is the way he treats his s/o and the members of Veronica, though there’s more emphasis on the former. Hope you guys enjoy this wall of text I wrote at school during my free time.

TW: mentions of suicide, abuse, toxic relationships

First up, the way he treats his s/o might be due to how his parents interacted, or how he was treated. In this scenario, the most possible situation at hand is:

Parents’ toxic relationship ---> Momochi ---> (Projection) S/O

+ Research has shown that one’s parents’ relationship will affect the child’s love life. For example, Person A’s parents squabble and fight every day, one blaming the other and the one silently accepting (no retaliation). Communication is non-existent. Growing up, Person A finds themselves in the same situation despite constantly telling themselves not to be like their parents. This has happened quite a lot.

+ I believe that Momochi’s mother was on the receiving end of the abuse, considering she was implied to have committed suicide. If we also take into consideration Awauta and Gurensinjyu, this is the most possible situation.

Now, Momochi’s growth environment caused him to project his mother onto his S/O, regardless of whether he’s aware that his actions are bad. To let everyone understand easier, here’s another example: a mother gets scolded by her superiors at work, and in turn scolds her child at home, while saying it’s “education”. This is a type of unconscious self-defense mechanism. To summarize,

a loop of “Repression” (emotions) + “Rationalize” (thoughts) + “Addiction” (behavior).

Repression: The environment he grew up in caused him to grew up neglected and unloved. He IS angry, and he should be, but he couldn’t find a way to let out those negative emotions, so he repressed them. They are still present, however.

Rationalize: His thoughts and fears, especially matters regarding his girlfriend and Veronica (fear of abandonment). He unconsciously rationalizes those fears and convinces himself that he is in the right, and he is the superior one.

Addiction: Momochi’s behavior towards his S/O. Because of the two factors above, he feels a sense of satisfaction when he sees his girlfriend in pain because of him specifically. This is especially evident whenever he chokes his S/O in his drama tracks.

Summary:

Momochi’s repressed negative emotions from how he was raised, combined with his fears and thoughts, make him the person he is right now. A toxic loop, but to him, it is still love nonetheless. He does truly love his girlfriend (I used up all my strength just to write these 6 words), but because of environmental and psychological factors, his idea of love is twisted and incredibly unusual.

No one taught him how to love someone properly, and nor do I think he loves himself either. He puts on a facade of superiority to hide his insecurities. Here’s his mindset in a nutshell:

“I don’t know how to love, so I’ll show her love in my own way. This is so she’ll never leave my side. I’m scared, but I don’t know any other way to make her stay with me.”

“The members of Veronica are all rich and good-looking. I can only surpass them with my skills. I’m scared of losing my only worth because they all surpass me in terms of background and looks.”

Anyways, that’s all. I hope this Momochi guy goes to superhell. Actually, superhell is too good for him, he should be stuck in between the limbo of heaven and hell so he suffers forever. That’s it. And to everyone who read this till the end, seek help. Thank you.

Source(s):

How Psychology Works: Applied Psychology Visually Explained——Penguin Random House

你背负了谁的伤：从家庭的原生三角关系，疗愈代际伤害——冯以量

心里防卫——洪培芸

爱情创伤来自童年创伤——黄惠萱

[thelonelyme]

♤𝐉𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐚 𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐬♤

.

𝐆𝐚𝐦𝐞: ディズニー ツイステッドワンダーランド[Twisted Wonderland]

𝐏𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐠𝐠𝐢𝐨/𝐢: Malleus Draconia, Silver (Vanrouge), Lilia Vanrouge, mc.

𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭: Malleus reacts to mc's awakening from silver's kiss. [mc x Yandere Malleus Draconia]

𝐀𝐕𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐙𝐄: FEM READER, This is the second part of "Spoiled", so if you haven't already read that, make sure you do. Yandere content, scenes of explicit torture, threats, physical and psychological violence, misogyny, explicit scenes of murder.

𝐓𝐚𝐠𝐬: @banjovamp ;)

"And tell me... How would it be possible? Tell me... Tell me if it's possible when what I've been doing for the last ten years was just trying to break that spell. Tell me, Tell me, TELL ME." His fingertips had turned white from how much pressure he was putting on your hand.

He most probably broke it already, but at this point, even a single grimace, a scream of pain, an involuntary reflex- anything would be fine.

By now you seemed more dead than alive, your skin had begun to cool down your arms, gathering the necessary heat in your chest and stomach. You hadn't eaten for years, decades, but you didn't age. Your fingers were completely frozen, if somehow you would come back, surely there would be a lot of problems in rehabilitating them; your lips once so sweet and rosy, so kissable and lovable, were now colored a pale blue, not so obvious but still quite visible.

Malleus could no longer look at that pitiful sight.

A woman as charming, beautiful, fantastic and tameable as you, reduced to a thread of death by none other than your self-proclaimed husband, the one who, by ruining your life, has filled his.

In an eternal limbo with no way out, if not by an impossible means. He should have been the one you should have loved, otherwise this would never have happened; if you hadn't turned against him nothing would have ever happened, if only you weren't so stubborn, ungrateful, ignorant and stupid, nothing would have ever happened. In fact, you would both be sitting in the gloomy castle garden as you snuggle up to watch your adorable son play with Lilia and annoy Sebek as he gently rubbed your swollen stomach of his love for him.

"Malleus, I know what you are going through, I know what an immense pain it feels to realize that all the efforts made are only in vain, I have been through it. But the only thing I can advise at the moment is not to obsess over the matter even more; you are spending more time with her than you should with your child! He is growing up with no one, and you more than anyone else should know what it feels like. You are bringing an entire kingdom to destruction as yourself, now you spend more time in this room, without letting anyone in. As much as I hate to say it, you absolutely have to take your life back in your hand and that of your people as well as that of your children, they are still small, but they are beginning to no longer believe the lies we are telling them. I am not speaking to you as an army commander, I am not speaking to you as an honored knight, but I am speaking to you as a father, make the right choice, now, your majesty, goodnight. " With this, the elder fae left the room, being followed by the two knights in the corridors of the castle to put to sleep the two kids.

To let go.

He could never let you go, your bond should have been forever, but then, why are you separated by this invisible wall?

"The spell can never be broken except by the kiss of true love."

If it wasn't him, who? Who would ever be that peasant who would have lured you into his trap? There would be thousands of possibilities, one more terrifying than the other for the dragon king.

But from that thought an idea was born, one that, however convoluted it might sound, would be able to solve both problems.

Finding a new calm, the fae cured your shattered hand bones with a twist of his wrist, then brought his face close to your sleeping one, making the two hot breaths collide with each other, and lovingly whispered that they could finally reunite once and for all.

· ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

The next day, the monarch of Briar Valley made sure he knew who it was that had captured his soulmate's heart. As much as his draconic instincts were screaming and wriggling inside of him, he resisted the temptation to slit those filthy people who were now taking turns kissing your hand.

He consoled himself knowing that he would then take care of the punishments himself that, despite having sent the order himself, that useless dust of society would have to pay for even thinking of looking at HIS lovely wife.

Unfortunately this could only have happened with the inhabitants of his kingdom, after all he would not even want to have to deal with useless and boring battles against other countries in the world of him.

He called for the occasion all his former schoolmates, from the now successful businessman Azul Ashengrotto to the now athlete Jack Howl, to figure out who that person was to take revenge.

No one will ever be able to take his wife from him, or they will be eliminated like those useless creatures that they are.

Peasants, nobles, dukes, even duchesses participated in the very unusual event. But none of them had been able to wake you from the cursed sleep.

Finally losing that thin thread of patience that was left to him, he ordered that all the people who had even dared to touch you before, were trapped in the castle, while he headed into your rooms with your body softly asleep and modeled on his strong arms. As hot as the situation was, Malleus could do nothing but soften at the tender sight of you and your children sleeping together.

Even if for just one moment, he thought that this was not the result of a spell, but that it was the result of an eternal love between him and you.

"Don't worry, my love, everything will work out soon, so we can be real family again" He said softly whispering in your ear, aware that you couldn't hear him, and tenderly kissing first your forehead, then the bridge of your nose, and finally your cheeks, before leaving the guard of your room to one of his most trusted knights.

When the young monarch was gone, young Silver entered the room.

He knew you hated him, and he hated himself too: he hated himself for never trying to stop this, he hated himself for not having stopped his master in time, and he hated himself for ignoring everything.

After all, even if ignorance is bliss, it will always lead to an inner emptiness and regret for not having known before.

"Sorry ___, sorry, please forgive me-please, please.." Silver sobbed faintly, slumping along your figure, staining the palm of your hand firmly in his hands with silver tears.

You would never have deserved all of this pain.

You never did anything. He'd rather be burned alive a thousand times over than let you go to your fate.

"Sorry.." He brought his face close to yours: his cheeks were red and wet from crying, while he sobbed slightly at every memory of your requests for help. He didn't want to do it.

He kissed you.

"You are forgiven"

"W-w-what? What ever- How?"

"I forgive you" You said hoarsely, not having used your voice for years. But for Silver, those simple words would have been heaven on earth.

As if by magic, the doors to the room swung open. Malleus entered. He knew something was wrong. He knew that brat was dealing with his wife. All those glances, even if helpful, all those words you thought he could never hear.. A fae couldn't be less if he didn't have senses amplified than a humble human.

"YOU BASTARD!" Malleus lunged at the man, biting his throat. Silver screamed. At that moment he couldn't care less of you, he finally had between his fangs the filthy traitor who had got in the way. You screamed in terror as the delicate skin on Silver's neck began to peel off his neck. If no one were to intervene instantly, he would be dead.

But neither Lilia nor Sebek did anything.

With one last yank, Malleus tore a large piece of flesh from the now dead human. Blood was everywhere and still flowing from the huge gash in his neck.

Nobody cared, as long as it wasn't too long, he could easily bring himself back to life with an ancient ritual, which, fortunately, Malleus didn't know.

"I advise you to go and change, you wished you could be in a more pleasant condition to atone for your betrayal."

Part one

Part two

Part three

Part four

[kirimoochi]

2 — RABBIT PRINCE.

₊˚ ᗢ synopsis; getting over breakups is difficult. after your partner leaves you, you find comfort in your friends. when you least expected it, your childhood friend kazuha pulls you from the darkness.

⤷genres; modern college au, romance, and angst with comfort.

⤷masterlist; here.

Kazuha stared at you in silence as you made your way through his apartment. Your appearance was too sudden. His hands were still placed on the door, its body still slightly ajar. He opens his mouth for a moment to question you but decides to hold back when he sees from the corner of his eyes, your hand wiping away loose tears. Your lips were pressed tightly together as they quivered. His gaze softens for you, autumn-colored eyes trailing your figure as you let out a deep sigh from the pits of your lungs. 

You drop onto his couch, bringing one of his pillows close to your chest. Your arms wrapped around it tightly as you held back your sobs. Dressed in nothing but shorts and a T-shirt, he figures that you need a blanket. The night was cold. He could see your body shiver with each breath and if there was anything he could do right now, it was to provide you as much support as possible. You’d need more than just one pillow to hide your cries. He keeps his head low when he comes out of his bedroom with an extra blanket. Throwing it over your body, he sits on the other side of the couch. 

You shield your face from him, hiccuping as your lips part themselves. “I thought we would last forever. We talked about going to a concert together. I bought the tickets and everything.” He pats your back as you bite the bottom of your lips, a thin layer of skin flaking. 

“We had so many plans. I wanted to marry them.” 

And perhaps that's where things went wrong. Dating to marry is a tough subject. Dating with the expectation to be with someone forever is hard. After all, people are always bound to leave. They will always come and go as quietly or loudly as parting winds. That’s how life has always been for him. But for someone like you, whose body was shaking and sobbing uncontrollably, it is difficult. It can be soul-crushing to know that no matter how much you love someone, built them up, or shared heartfelt memories, they might leave. 

It’s hard to love someone when life is cruel. It’s hard to give your heart out to people who might abandon it. He understands that. He knows what it feels like to give your everything in a relationship, only to be left with a broken heart and half a soul. The feeling is not as uncommon as many think, and while it may be the worst thing to experience, there is still light at the end of the tunnel. Silence is not bad. Being alone isn’t lonely. He just hopes that you’ll understand that despite all the heartaches, you’ll be okay. 

“Do you want to watch a movie?” He asks, giving you a kind smile. Maybe watching a movie might keep you from thinking about them. Would you still be interested in watching those Studio Ghibli movies? Or have you grown up and decided to choose something else? 

“You can choose whatever you want.” 

You let out an incoherent mumble, which he takes as a neutral answer. He frowns at your response. He isn’t sure what is good for you. He wants to give you a distraction but he doesn’t know if you would rather lie on the couch and cry, or if you would like to talk. He wants to give you space but doesn’t know if you want to be alone. He’s sitting in this limbo, wondering whether or not what he was doing is good enough, or if it's the right choice. 

Untying his ponytail, he decides to lay his head on your stomach. His hands are still on your waist, providing you with a transparent bridge between your thoughts and reality. There was a moment of silence between the two of you. He thinks that it might be better to leave you alone. You weren’t talking and he was sure that if you were, nothing would come out other than sobs and whimpers. And he wasn’t sure if he wanted to hear something as heartbreaking as that. 

When he lifts his head slightly from your stomach, your fingers stop him. They comb through his hair, a content hum slipping past your lips. Was this the answer he was waiting for all along? Because it might have been. He continues to lay by your side on this small, cramped couch. You don’t say a word. He doesn’t either. The two of you only bask in what could only be described as comfortable silence.

It reminds him of the days in which you’d hold him close to your chest, squeezing him as if nothing else in the world mattered. When he was just a small kid, a stupid one he might even add, you’d always be there for him. You’d hug him and wipe his tears, blabbering on about how you would protect him from monsters. 

It’s funny. To see that things have changed. To know that at this very moment, the person shielding you from this terrifying world is him.  A man who was once a boy that loved to eat ice cream during hot summers, the one that would always share his lunches with you, and the one that would always walk you home when it was late. 

You’d be the one putting yourself in front of every kind of danger for him. He once thought of it as sweet, but now it looks pitiful. The person who wants to protect others is someone who can’t even protect themselves. He knew that despite your tough exterior, there lie insecurities that have been built up from childhood. He tries not to pull you closer to him. He wants you to reach out on your terms.

 Right now you look vulnerable. Your eyes are puffy. They’re red and you’ve been scratching at the corners a little too much. Being here might make you feel more pathetic. Crying to your best friend after getting your heart broken. It’s pathetic. Whining about how your perfect future was no longer going to be a reality. It’s pathetic. You were childish and you knew that deep down, you were beating yourself up over the smallest of mistakes.

You wished that you never got into this relationship. You wished you could have known that it wouldn’t last forever. If you knew sooner, you could have avoided all of this heartache. You would have never had to put yourself out there. Sitting so vulnerably on a platter for someone else to eat you up and spit you out. You never want to go through that again. You wished you could just turn back time and warn yourself that it wasn’t worth it. 

But that doesn’t matter now, does it? What has happened, happened. There was no wishing to be done. No way to create a time machine to right your wrongs. You have to keep moving. No matter what you have to keep moving. Even if things get hard, even if you feel like punishing yourself for being wrong, at the end of the day, he knows that you will be okay. He knows this to be true because he’s seen it so many times.

He’s seen you build yourself from the ground up. He knows that you are a capable person. You just need time. You need to be open and vulnerable just for a moment so you can heal. And because of this, he wraps his arms around you, burying his face in your chest, he wants to support you. He wants you to know that you deserve to be happy. 

You open your eyes for a moment, lowering your gaze to stare at his loose hair. Your fingers are still entangled in his locks but you find comfort in him. With him pressing his face against your body, you were allowed to cry without being afraid. You think you’ve taken him for granted. Coming to his apartment, using his couch as a new bed, you’ve crossed the line. You wish you had more self-control. Wished that you could stop making mistakes but when you look at him, his arms wrapped around you as if he was scared to lose you, you can’t help but feel your heart melt just a bit. 

With trembling hands, you hesitate but squeeze him tightly, letting yourself sob and weep for the rest of the night. 

[lunatriense]

Fluffy Pyrruby camping trip, for @puppet-limbo

"Really? This is your first time?"

Pyrrha saw herself blush in silver eyes wide with shock. "I'm afraid so." She turned her gaze to the little pile of gear in the back of the borrowed truck they'd brought into the woods so that she might avoid Ruby's incredulous stare.

"But… you were so good in the forest! You seemed right at home!"

"Yes, well…" she picked up the packed tent and turned to face Ruby once more. "I can fight in the woods well enough, but that's quite a bit different from camping, much less wilderness survival."

"Well… yeah, okay, but what about the leaves then?" Ruby tilted her head, looking up to Pyrrha as they crossed paths before hefting a little bundle of firewood. "Every time we go out, you always pick up a new leaf."

Pyrrha chuckled and looked back over her shoulder. "I find them quite beautiful. Wouldn't you agree?"

"Sure, they're really pretty, but usually only outdoorsy people do stuff like that."

"Perhaps. Nevertheless, I'm very much a city girl." With a few gestures of her hand to direct her Semblance, Pyrrha quickly assembled the tent.

"How many kinds of leaf can you find in cities?"

Pyrrha smiled and slowly shook her head. "It isn't about how many kinds, it's about the memories they represent. I've collected dozens of maple leaves alone from the Argus city park, each one a little different. Oaks and birches, too. They remind me of good things," she hesitated briefly, her voice falling a little, "and some not so good things that bear remembering even so."

"Oh." Ruby dropped the firewood and knelt down to begin making a little pit. "Kinda like the spent casings I keep, then."

"Very much so, I should think." Her cheer restored, Pyrrha knelt beside Ruby to help.

"That's cool. Do you have a favourite?"

"Several. Some from home, that maple from the Forever Fall, a laurel from my first championship," she glanced to Ruby from the corner of her eye, her smile gaining that playful edge it sometimes did. "A few rose petals…"

"Rose petals?" Ruby turned to face Pyrrha, tilting her head quizzically. "Those aren't exactly leaves though, are they?"

"Not exactly."

"Then why-?" Ruby's eyes widened as she made the connection. "O-oh!" Now it was her turn to blush.

Pyrrha couldn't keep a soft giggle from passing her lips. "Those might just be my very favourite, in fact."

Ruby's blush deepened, and she reflexively pulled her hood up. Her voice came tiny, the way a cartoon mouse's might. "Be… cause of me?"

"Because of you." Pyrrha reached over into Ruby's hood to caress her cheek. "But don't worry; you will always be my very favourite Rose."

Ruby looked about like a rose just now. "Dinner! We, uh… we should have dinner. Y'know, before the sun sets." She shot to her feet like a rocket and quick-stepped to the truck.

Pyrrha giggled again, just watching her momentarily. Gods, but she was just so adorable. She still got so flustered, even months after they'd officially been dating. And it was her that initiated things! An adoring smile spread over Pyrrha's features. To be honest, she was still terribly flattered to know her little Rose had been harbouring a crush on her since initiation.

Ruby returned with the ingredients for a simple stew which she presently began preparing, fidgeting all the while. Pyrrha sighed softly; she'd better give Ruby a little space to calm down before she hurt herself. She stood and stepped over to her girlfriend, cautiously stopping Ruby's knife with her Semblance. "I'll go fetch some water." She leaned down to give Ruby a soft kiss on the cheek before taking a pair of pails from the truck; judging by her little squeak and jump, it was a good thing Pyrrha thought about the knife.

Their chosen campsite wasn't far from a stream, but Pyrrha took her time to admire the woods and tuck a few interesting-looking leaves into her sash. Once she supposed Ruby had likely composed herself, Pyrrha crouched by the stream to fill up the pails and headed back, but as she drew near the campsite a sharp crack and lower crunch froze her blood in her veins.

Grimm? Out here, so far from civilisation? What if Ruby was still flustered and didn't notice in time? With a quick application of her Semblance, Pyrrha crushed the pails together into a pair of makeshift short swords and quickened her pace, head turning this way and that in search of the Grimm. Until she heard Ruby shriek, that is; she set off into a sprint before the sound had finished ringing in her ears.

Please be alright… you have to be alright!!

It took only seconds for Pyrrha to burst from the treeline into the little clearing where they'd chosen to make camp. "RUBY!!" Pyrrha cried urgently, halfway to the truck gate where her lover had been working before she registered what she was seeing. Ruby wasn't there, but rather past the truck at the far edge of the clearing staring at Pyrrha with wide eyes. Just past her, and also staring, were a mother deer — or elk? Pyrrha never could tell — and her young fawn, the latter frozen in mid-bite with a carrot hanging from its mouth.

"Pyrrha? Uhh… are you… is everything okay??"

Ruby's awkward but unfrightened tone, paired with the looks she was getting from all three of her watchers, set Pyrrha's face afire.

"I…yes, I'm fine…" she lied, her heart thundering in her ears and hands shaking with adrenaline sans outlet. "Are you alright?"

"Yyyyyeah… I was just feeding my new friend here." Ruby briefly glanced to the deer, then back to Pyrrha. "Are you sure? I don't remember you having those." Her eyes flicked to the pails-turned-swords.

"I thought…" Pyrrha swallowed the lump in her throat and took a deep breath to try and calm herself. "I heard Grimm in the forest, and then you screamed and I…" She felt wetness building in her eyes. "I thought…" She dropped her swords and darted over to Ruby — the deer leapt back warily — scooping her up in a tight embrace to which Ruby responded with a surprised squeak. "I thought I'd lost you…" Pyrrha's voice quavered and she buried her face in the crook of Ruby's neck.

Ruby squirmed momentarily, then stilled and hugged Pyrrha back. When her much-bigger girlfriend didn't relax her hold, she tapped Pyrrha's shoulder several times in rapid succession and croaked out, "Can't breathe!"

Pyrrha gave a little start and set Ruby down. "I'm sorry!"

Ruby gasped for breath for a few seconds, leaning forward and bracing herself on her knees as she did so. She shook her head emphatically. "Sorry… didn't mean… to scare you." She took a long, even deeper breath and straightened. "Don't worry… there's no Grimm here. That was just these guys." She swept her arm back to the deer — rather, where they'd been; there was no sign of them now.

Pyrrha's face remained crimson, but she didn't care. Ruby was safe, that's all that mattered.

Ruby looked back to where she'd been feeding the deer, then to the ruined pails, then back to Pyrrha. "You really are a city girl."

A relieved yet strained laugh burst from Pyrrha's throat and she nodded vehemently. "I told you."

"Well that's okay." Ruby smiled up to her, half-stepping closer and rising up on her tiptoes to give her a quick kiss. "Why don't we go get the water together? I think there's an old thermos behind the seat."

Her heart rate finally not too far off normal, Pyrrha smiled and nodded. "Yes, please."

Ruby's smile grew just a touch as she returned the nod, then hopped over to the truck's cabin and dug around momentarily, coming up with a victorious cheer and holding aloft a banged-up thermos. Stepping back over, she took Pyrrha's hand with interlocked fingers and the two of them set off into the trees amid deep shadows cast by the now-fiery sunlight.

[toomanyfictionalboyfriends]

Steve Harrington

“Every morning you kiss my forehead before I leave for work, why was it my lips today?”

67 with Steve Harrington I did alter the prompt just a tiny bit, hope that's okay!

You and Steve were roommates, with benefits and all the strings attached, but he wasn't your boyfriend. He didn't date other girls, or even look at them for that matter and any other guy was ruined for you. Steve was your baby and you were his honey, everyone knew that, and if you asked anyone outside of Hawkins they'd call you a couple.

It was no surprise when you woke up with Steve one morning before he had to go to work and he happily ate the breakfast you had made him, drank his coffee and went to leave. However, what was surprising was the missing routine forehead kiss he would deliver as he hugged you goodbye. Instead he had waited until you nearly pulled out of his arms and kissed you square on the mouth before turning around and walking out the door like it was something he had done every day for the past year and a half and not a sudden change in routine. As you had gone about your day it stayed at the forefront of your mind, lips tingling any time you weren't occupied thinking about your shopping list or all of the chores you needed to do around the apartment. Pressing your fingers against your lips you wondered if you should say anything about it when he got home or if you should leave it until tomorrow and see if he does it again. Nerves chewed at your insides until you heard Steve's BMW pull in the driveway. Making a short stop in the kitchen you meet him at the door with a glass of lemonade. "Hi baby, how was your day?"

"Long, Mrs. Wheeler came in again asking if we got top gun back yet. And Eddie wanted some bikini city porno. Just hope he's not showing those to the kids." Steve takes the glass, slipping his worn sneakers off at the door.

"Steven." Uh oh, full first name, what has he done?

"Honey?" He swallows thickly, pulling the glass away from his lips.

"Every morning you kiss my forehead before you leave for work. Why was it my lips today?" You stare up at him, awaiting a response.

"Is that what this is about? I'm not in trouble?" A worried chuckle escapes him, he's still not entirely sure that's true.

"What? No. I just wanted to know." You wring your hands together, maybe you should have just left it alone. Maybe it really meant nothing and he wasn't thinking straight, maybe he was just tired.

"Dunno, you looked real precious this morning, standing there in my shirt, made me breakfast, coffee, honey, I've been trying to find the right time to ask you for a year now to be my girlfriend and it just never happens. Thought we might live our whole lives doing this in limbo, can't go forever without kissing you." He sits the glass on the side table next to the door. "I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable, if that's what happ-"

You're quick to cut him off with a kiss of your own, quick but firm to his lips as he had been this morning. "I love you, Steve, of course I'll be your girlfriend."

[ineffably-human]

"Well why didn't you do something? You should have gone and done something about it instead of just sitting here."

When the leaks came out two weeks ago, I was seriously in a period of mourning. Like I was truly, deeply upset for three days trying to process what was actually half-translated and poorly communicated. And it's a lot of the stuff other people were thinking when 4x9 first dropped. Were we being told it was wrong to desire growth and progress in these characters? Are we stupid for caring about the humanity in them? Were we supposed to hope Guillermo just escapes this toxic limbo forever?

We see so much of how these violent, sometimes half-crazy, ancient beings are dissatisfied with their lives. How they're capable of love and connection, how they want the same things that humans do... I couldn't believe that stagnation was the entire point. I couldn't believe the answer to 'can you change who you've always been?' was 'nope, sorry, nobody really does even when they're miserable.'

It feels important we care. It feels important that we feel unsettled by Colin reverting back to exactly how he was before, without even the slightest memory of being loved and looked after when as an adult he's so lonely. (That whistling, the way it breaks your heart and gives you a hope spot at the same time!) It's important they made it clear, before he finds that room, that as much as his instincts are calling out to him it's not what young Colin wanted or something he had a choice about. It was important that Laszlo and Nadja felt like they lost major, important pieces of their new lives, experiences they'd never had before even if they ended badly.

And Nandor... I don't think Nandor's as okay as he says. I think Nandor seems as aloof as he was when we first met him. It's withdrawing for recovery after the end of a lot of striving and struggling and pain. Eventually the scab is going to rip off and leave him with grief and depression again. Who's to say he hasn't had this experience before? He did tell Guillermo that he hadn't been really happy in decades. Maybe for a vampire, taking some 'me time' after a rough period is a decades-long affair.

But there's such a clear rift between him and the person he loves most now. Everyone's lost something, and Nandor and Guillermo have lost some of what they were building. I think they were losing it before the Freddie incident even happened. (Now would be the part of the slow-burn, by the way, where they get it back and reaffirm how much they belong together.)

When the leaks dropped, I read Guillermo's decision and I thought 'why?' This was the first season where I could think of plenty of explicit reasons he shouldn't become a vampire. He might never see his biological family again, even though he knows they love him. No matter what, he has to deal with his chosen family's selfishness. He sees how slow vampires change, he sees their ennui, how the big things they want are band-aids over their dissatisfaction. He knows he can stay human and still have physical power, emotional leverage, life experiences he's missed out on up to now because of all the waiting-waiting-waiting. Even having a foot in the supernatural world wouldn't have to change. His devotion and loyalty have waned somewhat, he's built relationships with the other housemates but they're not as strong.

It's not like he's so unexamined about his feelings that he'd ignore all those things to go be a vampire alone, to go hang out with a lonely dude working a counter (just like he was when Nandor met him) when that lonely dude just happens to be a vampire. Was he regressing? What the hell was he doing it for at this point? He hadn't even said goodbye!

It was like a gut punch of relief (seriously, the noise I made) when I found out exactly what the line was, the last thing Guillermo says before taking the money to Derek.

"Nothing in this house ever changes, nothing's ever going to change unless I change it."

He doesn't pack his things. The bag is full of money and only money. He won't need that closet anymore because it's no place to keep a coffin. (The attic, on the other hand, newly renovated and now the biggest room in the house...)

I want so badly to believe Guillermo is becoming a vampire because he is going to march straight back to the house, show off his fangs, and drag them all kicking and screaming into the life he's dreamed of along with him. To rescue them from themselves.

'I can use this power better. I can be the new blood. You need something to react to? React to this.' Because his dream is relentless but so is his capacity to love these people at their worst.

And if that just sounds like Guillermo saving the day again, well...

You guys want a jealousy arc? Imagine Nandor seeing that someone else stepped in and did what he wouldn't. Imagine a Guillermo made newly sexual as a vampire, having a well-deserved slut era as Nandor watches and wonders what's so different about him these days. Nandor being the one to eagerly listen to him, to sit beside him as he bosses people around...

More importantly, imagine Guillermo having a conflict between his slayer blood and vampire blood. Or leaning into the selfishness that comes with being a vampire, so much so that he starts to lose the parts of him the household really needs. Or pretending 'it's fine, it's fine, it's fine' when it's really anything but and this isn't how he's supposed to end up.

I need Guillermo to be the one to fuck up for once. I need him to do something so selfish it hurts others, I need him to do the right thing when it's hard. I need Nandor to save him or remind him of the best, most human parts of him when he's lost.

I can't wait to get that, if that's where we're going.

[transphilza]

ok i’m not lucid enough to comment anything about what that finale was actually about, but is that moment where c!tommy hits c!wilbur with the sword the most scared we’ve ever seen c!wilbur? thought i’d consult our resident wilbur analysis expert lol

i loved this question so much i kept it in my inbox for answering while i took months to gather my thoughts about the final stream — i’d say it’s fair to say yes, it was the most outwardly scared we ever saw c!wilbur, and i wanna talk about why this is a great interpretation for that moment

the thing about wilbur is that he’s always afraid — if the spiraling paranoia of the pogtopia era wasn’t explicit enough for you, you don’t need to look much further than the neuroticism speech to understand that anxiety and fear are primary motivators for wilbur. (frankly excessive elaboration under cut)

it’s why he feels such a strong urge to protect those he cares about, to even a possessive degree (talking particularly about c!tommy here), because he is afraid things will slip from his control and he won’t be able to protect what he values (and as such it makes sense why losing l’manberg after the election damaged wilbur so deeply — among other things, the nation provided him with a sense of safety and control over his life and the lives of his family that kept his anxiety relatively manageable)

but my favorite thing about this moment isn’t that it might be the most scared he’s ever been, it’s as nonnie phrases it: it’s the most scared we’ve ever seen him

prior to his revival, the most explicitly we are shown wilbur’s anxiety is right after the Let’s Be The Bad Guys speech, where he mentions the reason he’s doing all this is because he needs to feel safe (and safe = in control)

after his revival, wilbur is slightly more self aware, and with that change we have vulnerable moments like this popping up more willingly, under less duress, but they’re more shallow, particularly as he slips back into old habits. i think of his intense and genuine expressions of love toward tommy as he spoke about family while simultaneously lying to him about many other things — or his being incredibly vulnerable around ranboo and expressing his fear openly in a way we hadn’t seen him describe before, but then acting on his destructive anxious impulses and encouraging ranboo to do the same directly afterward

but particularly after the events of The Wilbur Van, the moments of genuine fear he expresses are all heavy with the hopelessness of suicidality, and the despair (which is certainly driven by fear, perhaps the fear of having to live in limbo forever where everyone he loves can never see him as anything but his mistakes) is the most visible emotion (i think of what he says to phil in the Bust stream about trying so hard and never getting better — despair driven by fear)

it’s a lot easier to identify this despair rather than the fear underlying it in how wilbur behaves, and this is true for the entire duration of his storyline on the smp — that is, except this one moment that you mention, where he sounds purely and utterly terrified

all this long winded rambling to say: why? why is the despair and hopelessness that usually sticks out the most not as palpable here?

it actually comes back to this; the factor that by this point, during this final scene, wilbur has begun to reconcile with himself and reconsider his own fate. sending friend back to ghostbur was an act of kindness toward himself, and i’ve talked about that before, about how these small moments of care and love toward himself are monumentally important in changing how wilbur sees the world around him — in changing how he sees his own life, not as a hopeless tragic narrative but as a dynamic human existence with highs and lows and a chance for hope in the future

all this to say: this is one of the only periods in the story when wilbur has been truly, deeply afraid to die, and the reason he’s so afraid is because finally, finally, after all this time, he thinks he wants to live.

he’s figured a way out, he’s found a third option between death and limbo and for once in his life he thinks he can imagine a future worth living for, or at the very least a future where he is free to shape it on his own, where he is no longer a character trapped in a never ending cycle of loss and suffering

and in a less abstract way, it’s a change of scenery that isn’t full of ghosts and zombies and ruins of people and places he once loved. it’s someplace he can be on his own where he doesn’t have to anxiously ruminate about how his actions are constantly and perpetually disappointing and harming those he loves. a place to heal, or maybe just a place where he can consider what exactly healing means — and tommy is hitting him, and it hurts, and he doesn’t want to die, he doesn’t want to die,

of all things he just wants to go back to fucking utah