#till i see some of the quotes and i want to bang my head against the wall

[capsiclesteebrogers]

i am posting this here because i really do not want rabid team bl*ck stand in my quotes on twitter. but it baffles me the way team green fans always have somebody from team bl*ck in their quotes even when the post/tweet doesn't say anything bad about the characters they like. sometimes it's just an opinion or short analysis that actually makes sense and can start an interesting conversation and doesn't "attack" any character and here they come ready to post their dumb takes and make sure the user doesn't forget that team green is absolutely evil and if you dare like any of them you are a garbage human being and don't deserve to have opinions. oh and alicent is to blame for everything, she is awful and deserves everything that happened to her (just in case they haven't said it today). and it's incredibly shitty. let people discuss and enjoy characters in peace. make your own posts and stop being absolute losers.

[wiypt-writes]

Riding High

Ch8: Adler vs Adler

Chapter Summary: The gloves are off in court as Frank faces off against his mother.

Chapter Warnings: Bad Language words. Talk of suicide.

Chapter Pairings:  Frank Adler x OFC Fliss Gallagher

A/N: Contains SPOILERS for the film!!!!! If you haven’t seen it please be aware of that before you read on. Also, those of you who do know this film well will see that I’ve changed the dates referenced in the court case, that’s because I brought the timeline of Gifted forward from 2015 (when it was filmed) to 2017 (when it was released). This was mainly to suit Fliss’ backstory of the Olympics. 2015 is too close to 2012 for me to make it work. Also Frank’s middle name is an absolute H/C too as I couldn’t find it anywhere so, sorry if this annoys any of you but, to quote @icanfeelastormbrewing- “my coffee, my fic, my rules…”

Disclaimer: This is a pure work of fiction and classified as 18+. Please respect this and do not read if you are underage. I do not own any characters in this series bar Fliss Gallagher and the other OCs. By reading beyond this point you understand and accept the terms of this disclaimer.

Riding High Masterlist // Main Masterlist

Chapter 7

“And love, if your wings are broken, borrow mine so yours can open too…’cause I’m gonna stand by you”

 The first bit of evidence the next morning was the findings of the Welfare Department’s investigation. It had thrown nothing out of the ordinary up. The house was clean enough, Mary was fed, but they did point out that their current living arrangements wouldn’t be suitable for much longer as Mary would need her own room as she grew older, something which Frank’s attorney accepted on behalf of Frank, stating to the court that Frank had already considered this. Which in fairness he had. The Welfare Department continued then, stating that Mary’s interview the previous day hadn’t thrown up anything of concern, even if there were some questionable TV viewing habits, namely Ultimate Fighting on a Saturday night, but they were satisfied that overall Mary was suffering no ill effects, mentally or physically from being with Frank.

This took them just under an hour, as they were factual reports. Both Attorney’s requested clarification on certain points but there were no questions or cross examinations to be done. As such they had concluded just after eleven am and there was then a small ten minute break to allow a quick consultation between clients and attorney’s before Evelyn was to take to the stand. As people moved around, passing papers and files to one another, Frank turned in his seat and just as he glanced round, someone left the courtroom and through the open door Fliss walked in, dressed in a smart pair of black jeans and a light blue strappy top. He flashed her a smile and she gave a small wave, settling onto a seat next to Roberta who gave her a hug. She’d missed the early session due to having to sort the horses out but she’d cleared her diary and brought in cover for the rest of the day so she could be there to lend him support.

And even though the morning had, all in all, been favourable to him, Frank felt his spirits raise even more at the sight of her there in his corner so to speak. Tearing his eyes away from her, Frankturned back to Greg who was watching him, eyebrow raised.

“Well that’s a mighty big smile Frank.”

“I just spotted some additional back up, that’s all.” Greg turned to see the woman who was now talking to Roberta and he grinned, spinning back to Frank “Let me guess, Fliss?”

Frank nodded “Yeah, I’ll introduce you later.”

Greg raised his eyebrow, smiling a little. “I look forward to it. Anyway, back to business. That opening report from the Welfare Department was good, well as good as it’s gonna get. But dude, Ultimate Fighting? Really?”

“It’s harmless fun.” Frank shrugged

Greg shook his head “Whatever. This next bit ain’t gonna be as easy.” “No shit.” Frank mumbled, looking at his mother as she said something to Highsmith, her attorney. “She’s going to rip me to pieces, and no doubt enjoy doing it too.” “Yep.” Greg nodded “But just keep doing what you’re doing. No outbursts, stay quiet, focussed and listen. If she says something that isn’t accurate, or you think of anything we can use, note it down and I’ll use it in my cross examination, okay?” Frank nodded as Judge Nicholls banged his gavel down and issued instructions for everyone to reconvene. He called Evelyn to the stand where she was sworn in and Highsmith stood up and began firing questions at her, a well-practiced dance, Frank could tell.

From the gallery Fliss watched intently. She’d been missed the first session but Roberta had hastily filled her in, telling her it had gone well. She shot Frank another encouraging smile, just as the judge called them back to order, and couldn’t help but notice how good he looked in his suit. A far cry from his dirty jeans and ratty work t-shirts. Which, if she was honest, she preferred…

Evelyn took to the stand and Fliss felt herself bristling as she proceeded to utterly character assassinate Frank, depicting him as nothing more than an irresponsible bum, floating around with no purpose to life, a man who didn’t care about Mary’s welfare, preferring to simply fly by the seat of his pants instead of giving her any decent roots or thoughts to her needs. At one point, they started to question his motivations towards taking Mary being more about punishing Evelyn that actually caring about the girl. To this Frank’s attorney objected and as the two lawyers began to argue, Fliss found her nails cutting into her palms as she clenched her fists. Roberta gently reached out and squeezed her arm and she turned to the woman next to her and gave her a tight smile.

“Frank’s attorney, Greg Cullen, he’s good…” Roberta whispered, “He’ll go at her when he gets his chance, you’ll see.”

The objection was overruled, the judge telling Cullen he would get his chance to challenge that statement in his cross examination, and Cullen sat down, leaning over to whisper something to Frank who nodded, his eyes not once leaving his mother. Cullen jotted something down as Evelyn continued.

By the time she finished it was almost one pm so they broke for lunch, Judge Nicholls instructing everyone to be back in an hour. Fliss and Roberta headed outside to wait for Frank who met them shortly after.

“Hey.” Fliss gave him a gentle hug. “How you holding up?”

“About as well as I can for someone whose own mother just tore them to shreds under oath.” Fliss’ eyes narrowed “I hope your guy is gonna give her as much of a shredding as she gave you.” “I’ll do my best.” A voice spoke from behind them. Fliss spun round to be greeted by Frank’s attorney.

“Fliss, this is Greg Cullen, Greg, Fliss Gallagher.” Frank introduced them to one another. “I’ve heard a lot about you.” Greg smiled at her, shaking her hand. Fliss looked up at Frank and was surprised to find a faint flush of red on his cheeks.

“All good I hope?” she grimaced and Cullen nodded.

“Oh, very good indeed. I’ve been dying to meet the woman who’s made such an impression on him.” “Greg, piss off.” Frank groaned in a tired voice before he nodded over the road to the café “Shall we grab some lunch?”

They ate together, making small talk, before Greg requested Frank join him alone for fifteen minutes to go over their plan for the rest of the afternoon. Frank stood, and without even thinking about it gave Fliss a quick peck on the cheek. He winced as soon as he had, noticing that Cullen and Roberta were watching him and, knowing Fliss was going to get an absolute drilling from Roberta, he shot her an apologetic look as he walked away. She simply smiled through her blush and shook her head, turning to Roberta who nudged her arm.

“Okay, what was that?” Greg asked as they walked back over the road. “Are you two erm…”

“It’s complicated.” Frank shrugged after a little pause. “We both, well we both like each other but with everything that’s going on we’re just kind of waiting, I suppose. I’m focussing on getting through whatever it is that happens with Mary and then hopefully...what?” he trailed off as Greg was smirking at him.

“Frank Adler. Finally found a girl he likes that much he ain’t simply trying to get her into bed. Wait till I tell the guys.”

Frank rolled his eyes and pointed to the courtroom “How about you concentrate on what’s gonna go on in there instead of what is or isn’t going on in my bedroom?”

Greg gave out a chuckle and patted his friend on the shoulder as they made their way in and headed into the side room they had reserved.

****

“Mrs. Adler, in your earlier testimony here today, you painted a pretty dim picture of your own son don't you think?” Cullen asked, tapping his pen on his note pad. Frank remained stony faced, watching his mother.

“I'm under oath, I take no pleasure in it.” She said with a glance at Frank before she looked down, almost convincingly.

Frank just about managed to refrain from rolling his eyes.

“So, your son is a failure in life, your daughter took her life, you know, you're oh for two.”

Fliss winced and glanced at Roberta as Highsmith said “Objection” in an almost bored voice

“Withdrawn.” Cullen’s voice took on an amused edge but as Fliss watched as Evelyn simply eyed him, completely un-phased.

“If I go one for three, I'm in the Hall of Fame.” she shot back.

“You know baseball.” Cullen pushed his chair back. “Fenway Park.”

At that something flickered in Evelyn’s eye as she glanced at Frank. Fliss followed her gaze and watched, just able to see the side of Frank’s face. His eyes were locked onto her, his expression never faltering.

“You know, I'd like to go there sometime.” Cullen stood up, pushing his glasses up onto his head as Evelyn turned back to him “How often in a year did you take Diane to the baseball game?”

“Diane wasn't interested in sports.” Evelyn replied

“She never wanted to go to a game? Ever?”

“I don't recall her ever asking.”

Cullen moved forwards a step and Fliss saw Frank’s eyes flick to him as he continued to question his mother.

“Just out of curiosity, Fenway, that's a tough ticket. Where do you get yours?”

“My husband has season tickets.”

“And how long has he had them?” Cullen enquired

“Thirty years. But I've only been married to him for twenty.” Evelyn informed him.

“And Diane never went to one game?”

Evelyn didn’t reply, simply raised her eyebrows slightly as if she was failing to see the point. Fliss’ eyes once again flicked to Frank who still hadn’t moved an inch.

“What colour was the dress Diane wore to prom?” Cullen changed his line of questions.

“Diane didn't attend the prom, because she didn't attend the high school.” Evelyn replied calmly

“No prom.” Cullen mused before he asked suddenly.“What sports did she play?”

“As I told you earlier, she wasn't interested in sports.”

“She’s calm.” Roberta whispered to Fliss as Cullen continued to question Evelyn about Diane’s lack of interaction with other children her age.

“Too calm.” Fliss nodded. “But I can see what he’s doing, trying to paint a picture of how she isolated Diane to imply that she’d do the same to Mary. You’re right, he’s good.”

As they tuned back into the examination again, Cullen took a deep breath and glanced to his left

“Mrs. Adler,” he looked back at her, “who's Paul Riva?”

At that Evelyn glanced at Frank, her calm mask slipping ever so slightly but still Frank didn’t move. Fliss could see his expression now carried a faint, and every so sad, smile.

Evelyn gave a silent huff before she looked back at Cullen “He was a boy from the neighbourhood.”

Her tone was clipped and Fliss noticed the judge sit forward slightly at her shift in attitude, narrowing his eyes a little as he watched her curiously.

“Oh, come on. He was much more than just a boy from the neighbourhood.  Paul was Diane's first love. Wasn't he?” Cullen asked.

Fliss and Roberta exchanged a glance.

“I wouldn't characterize it that way, no.” Evelyn shook her head.

“And how would Diane characterize it?”

“Diane was seventeen years old at the time. She didn't know anything about love.”

At that Fliss caught the first movement Frank had made since his mother had started talking. He took a deep breath and looked to his left before turning back, his shoulders moving slightly in frustration as he shook his head slightly, his eyes locking back onto his mother who was carefully avoiding his gaze.

“Mrs. Adler, in January 2000 didn't Diane and young Mr. Riva run away together?” Cullen looked at her.

“He coerced her.” Evelyn corrected with the air of someone picking her words carefully.

“And where did they go?”

“Vermont.”

“And you called the police, didn't you?” Cullen stated rather than asked.

“Yes.”

“Because he kidnapped her?”

“Yes”

“And where did the police find young Mr. Riva and Diane?” Cullen looked at Evelyn

“I told you, Vermont.” Evelyn looked at Cullen, her voice suddenly taking on an icy edge which made Fliss lean forward slightly.

“Stowe, Vermont. Wasn't it? A resort town.” Cullen looked round the court room as Evelyn shifted uncomfortably. “Stowe Mountain. He took her skiing. You see, kidnappers don't usually take their victims skiing.” Cullen paused from his explanation. When he spoke again his voice was calm, and slow, stressing the point perfectly “But this is what Paul did because he and Diane were in love.”

“No.” Evelyn refuted firmly

“And when they returned, you pressed kidnapping charges.” Cullen’s voice rose in volume and speed as he spoke. “You filed a lawsuit against his parents, until Paul stopped calling Diane. Didn't you?”

“Yes.”

“And Diane never heard of or saw Paul Riva again. Did she?” Cullen’s tone was harsh, accusatory as he stared at Evelyn.

“Poor girl.” Roberta mumbled besides her and Fliss shook her head, in utter shock at how a mother could be so damned cruel and out of touch with her own daughter. It made her feel a pang of sympathy for Mary’s mother despite never having known her. Fliss couldn’t imagine what she would do without either of her parents being as supportive as they were.

Evelyn must have answered as by the time Fliss turned her attention fully to what she was saying, as Cullen had asked another question.

“And how did she take it?”

“She was upset for a while. She lost focus.”

“She lost focus.” Cullen turned back to the desk and picked up a small file. “Mrs. Adler,” he turned back, file in hand, “in March of 2001 didn't Diane Adler attempt to take her own life?”

“This episode was minor. It was nothing.” Evelyn replied, her tone harsh.

“Nothing?” Fliss drew in a breath, shaking her head. For a moment she almost lost herself in another memory, of one rainy afternoon in Boston in October 2015, but she took a deep breath and focussed on where she was, as Cullen flashed the file at Evelyn.

“I have the hospital report in my hand.” he informed her

“It was nothing.” Evelyn said again, and now Fliss could see she was rattled. “Diane was not like regular people. She was extraordinary. And extraordinary people come with singular issues and needs.”

Fliss watched as Evelyn leant forward, her face creased in anger as she hissed “You have no idea of the capability she possessed. One in a billion. And you would say fine, let's throw that away, so the boy who cuts our yard can make a sexual conquest? Well maybe before you make that decision, you stand in my shoes. I had responsibilities, which went beyond the mother-daughter relationship.”

She took a deep breath and spoke again, her voice louder this time “The greatest discoveries, which have proved life on this planet have come from minds rarer than radium. Without them, we'd still be crawling in mud. And for your information, counsellor, a year after this incident with this boy Diane thanked me for my intervention. She realized she'd made a mistake and she thanked me. You see, Diane understood. She was accountable for the gift she'd been given. And she didn't shy from it.”

Every inch of Evelyn’s face was contorted with a mixture of pain and anger, and she radiated absolute fury across the courtroom as her rant built to its climax

“And I think, if she were here today, Mr. Attorney, she would refute your baseless insinuations, that she would give up her brilliant future and take her own life just because mummy didn't get her a little red wagon

There was a pause as she took a breath and sat back.

“No more questions.” Cullen said simply, turning back to his seat.

Fliss watched Frank who shifted, rubbing his chin with his left hand, his fingers curling round his jaw in an L shape as he stared at this mother, his face completely unreadable to anyone who didn’t know him, but to her she could see the pain in his eyes.

And from the look Evelyn gave him, it was obvious she’d seen it too.

***** When Mary returned home on the school bus that afternoon, Frank did his best to remain positive and keep his broodings to himself, and was thankful when Fliss suggested they head out for dinner with Roberta. The four of them went to the same restaurant he had met his mother at not long before where he ate, not really tasting his food, or listening as Fliss and Roberta chatted away. Instead his attention was completely on Mary who was stood with one of the waitresses at another table, pouring sand out of one of the bottles that was used to keep the tablecloths from blowing away. The thought that she could be without such simple pleasure of looking through sand for shells, and lost to a world of pressure and solitude like Diane had been, was breaking his heart.

He felt someone squeeze his hand at the same time Mary held up a shell and showed it to him. He took a deep breath and tried to rearrange his face into a smile as he turned to face Fliss.

“It’s going to be okay, Frank.” She looked at him and he swallowed, unable to form his words. Instead his fingers tightened around hers and she simply held his hand whilst they finished up their drinks.

Later that evening, once Mary was asleep inside the apartment, Frank and Fliss sat outside the kitchen door, shoulder to shoulder along the top step.

“You know, until I met you I thought sitting on a porch drinking beer was something only red necked hillbillies did.” Fliss teased him.

“Well, according to my mother that’s what I am.” he scoffed.

“And according to me your mother is a callous, cold hearted bitch.” Fliss spat, with such venom it made Frank look at her, his eyebrow raising a little. She took a deep breath, her voice softening “How can anyone dismiss a suicide attempt as nothing.”

Frank looked away, taking a pull from his beer. They sat in silence for a moment before Fliss broke it.

“You know back in 2015, about five months after I’d gotten married, I almost did it you know? Killed myself.”

Frank’s head turned to face her. She wasn’t looking at him, instead she remained focussed on a spot in the distance as she stared straight ahead. “My life was out of my control, and it was the only way I could think of getting some of that control back. So I took a shit load of buproprion and washed it down with half a litre of vodka.”

“Shit, Lissy I’m sorry, I had-” She waved his sympathy off and continued “After that I was offered all this help and support and-” she snorted bitterly, “I still went back to him. He convinced everyone, including me that the issue was the fact that I was still brooding over my career being cut so short, and then told me that having a kid would fix the issue. In reality there was no issue to fix. I wasn’t depressed as such, I was abused. And that was simply another way of him taking control.”

After a moment she turned to look at him, “I’m not saying your mother abused Diane, not as such but she isolated her for her own, selfish reasons, no matter how she tries to dress them up or convince herself that it was for Diane’s own good. That first suicide attempt your sister would have made a normal, loving parent sit up and pay attention to what was going on. I know it did mine, as Bill never trusted John’s explanation, not one word.” “I should have done more too.” Frank’s voice was choked as he looked down at his feet. “But I was so busy, wrapped up in my finals and…”

“Frank, Diane wasn’t your responsibility, you’re not her parent.”

“No but when Dad died, I promised I’d take care of her, always be there for her. I should have done more, and I should have known, when she turned up that day at mine with Mary…”

“Frankie.” Fliss cut him off, her hand taking his. “Take it from me, my mum and dad and brother went through all of this in their head. Did Diane give you any warnings at all because I know I didn’t?  Look at the lies and the world of fantasy I let John build up round me and detract from what was going on. I told nobody I was gonna do it Frank. And I told no body why I did it either.”

Frank sniffed and wiped at his nose slightly with his free hand.

“So you can either carry on beating yourself up over something that isn’t your fault or you can concentrate on getting the best outcome here for Mary.”

He reached for his beer which was on the step below him between his legs and nodded. She was right, he knew she was, but there would always be that part of him that wondered if he could have done more, it he should have done more.

“Are you planning on coming tomorrow?” he asked, looking at Fliss.

“Yeah, Joanne is covering again.”

“I don’t want to put you out.” he said gently, but she shook her head.

“It’s sorted.” Fliss smiled. “She wants the week of Thanksgiving off so she’s racking up the favours.”

“Well, from a purely selfish standpoint I’m glad.” He flexed his fingers against hers, looking down at where they were entwined.

“I’m not missing your testimony, if only for the sole reason of discovering what your full name is.” she teased as he looked at her. Frank gave a huff of a laugh “Francis Preston Adler, nice to meet you.” He tipped his bottle in her direction. “Preston?” She snorted “Get out of town! There’s a place in England called Preston, it’s like thirty miles away from my home!”

Frank smiled, before he sighed.

“Last day tomorrow isn’t it?” Fliss looked at him as he stared straight ahead.

He let out a breath “Yeah, well last day of evidence. Then we have to wait for however long it takes the judge to read all the reports and make a ruling.”

“Well then, I suggest you get some sleep, or as much as you can.” Fliss kissed his cheek, and with that she released his hand and stood up. Frank followed her lead, rising to her feet. “Oh, and FYI I got an absolute interrogation off Roberta before when you did that to me. Felt like it was me in the dock, not Evelyn.” For the first time all evening Frank laughed.

******

The gloomy, rainy morning matched Frank’s mood perfectly.

He sat in the dock dressed in his suit, feeling as out of place as anyone could. Greg went through the questions he had coached Frank on, questions designed not to paint him as a saint but to simply be real and portray him as a normal person, doing the best he could for his niece in line with his sister’s wishes. Frank answered them honestly. Was he perfect? No. Had he done things correctly? No. Did he wish he had spotted Diane was struggling? Yes. Did he love Mary and want the best for her? With every breath he had.

The questions continued along those lines until they broke for lunch. And then came the cross examination, and Frank knew he was in for a beating.

“Mr. Adler where are you currently employed?” Highsmith asked sitting on the desk to the left of Evelyn.

“I repair boats.” Frank answered clearly

“Oh, really? At which marina?”

“I don't work at a marina. I freelance.”

“So, safe to say, no health insurance.”

“No.” Frank shook his head

“About a week before your sister took her life what were you doing for a living then?”

“I was a teacher.” Frank replied.

“You're being modest, aren't you?” Highsmith said, standing up and walking towards the dock “You were a professor at Boston University Isn't that right?

“Yes, well, assistant professor.”

“And what'd you teach?”

“Philosophy.”

“Truth and logic. That sort of thing.” Highsmith gestured with his hands and Frank simply smiled as the man continued. “Your attorney said that the primary reason that you took Mary is because it was what your sister would've wanted you to do. Is that a truth?”

“Yes.” Frank implored

“So Diane had visited Pinellas County before?”

“No.” Frank said with almost an air of amusement on his face as he looked at his mother for a second before he glanced down and joined his hands in front of him in his lap.

“She indicated she wanted her daughter uprooted and moved here?”

Frank shook his head, closing his eyes. “No”

“No.” Highsmith repeated “So you decided to bring Mary here, didn't you?”

Frank licked his lips and drew in a deep breath as he simply stared as his mother. He was pleased so see her shift in her seat

“Did Diane had a problem with your health plan at Boston University?” Highsmith pressed.

Frank wanted to laugh. The guy was doing exactly what Greg had warned him he would do, attack his lack of healthcare, insinuate he wasn’t able or fit to provide for Mary. When he spoke his voice was calm, and he fought to keep his face as amicable as possible.

“Not to my knowledge.”

“Do you think she would want her daughter to have access to healthcare?”

Dumbass question

“Of course.” Frank nodded.

“So what do you do, when little Mary gets sick? You repair a doctor's boat?”

Frank scoffed a laugh as Cullen objected.

“Sustained.” Judge Nicholls shot Highsmith a look and Frank stole a glance at Fliss. If the situation wasn’t so serious he would have laughed at the identical look she wore to Roberta, both glaring at Highsmith like they were plotting his very painful death.

The rain outside continued to drive down as did Highsmith’s questions, the air punctuated every so often by a low rumble of thunder from the outside storm echoing what Frank was feeling inside.

“Prior to Mrs. Adler giving her one. Did Mary have a computer?”

“She used mine.”

“Mr. Adler, does Diane's daughter have her own bedroom?”

“No.”

“Does she sleep in a bed that you bought in a second hand shop?”

“Yes.” Frank looked ahead, focussing on keeping calm as Highsmith walked towards the dock, gesturing now with his hands, his tone winding up

“So, the truth is, Mr. Adler, that you didn't come down here because your sister wanted it to and you certainly didn't come here because it was good for Mary.”

Frank swallowed slightly and shifted a little, avoiding looking at the man as he tapped his hand on the side of the dock.

“No, it was personal. Diane was a star. You weren't. Diane got the attention. You didn't.”

Frank scoffed silently, oh please, and turned to look in the opposite direction.

“..and over the years You got angry. And here comes Mary. What a great way to get even.”

At that he audibly sighed. He had known this was coming, that his mother’s attorney would try and paint him as petty and vindictive but it still hurt to hear it. Hurt that his own mother would have someone attack him in such a way. He’d defend Mary to the hilt if someone was doing this to her…

“You've uprooted that little girl and brought her here for one reason only. To do harm to your mother. You blamed her for your sister.”

“No, I don't.” Frank broke his silence.

“And Mary to you is just a pawn in all this.”

And that did it, Mary wasn’t a pawn. She was a little girl, a little girl who he was doing is best by.

“Diane wanted Mary, to be a kid” Frank’s voice betrayed his desperation and emotion, and he knew that, but now he was past caring, this was the truth, it was how he felt, and he was nothing if not honest. He locked eyes with his mother as he spoke, driving his words home “.She wanted her to have a life. She wanted her to have friends and to play…”

At that his mother looked away, her eyes glistening but Frank kept his on hers as she turned back to him, his final words were almost whispered

“…and to be happy.”

“You realize the consequences of boredom for a gifted child, Mr. Adler? They become resentful and sullen.”

“Mary's not an angry kid.” Frank’s voice was calm once more.

“Really? Did she not attack a child on the school bus?”

Shit.

“A twelve year old tripped a seven year old and she came to his defense.” Frank shrugged slightly

“Did she break the boy's nose?”

“Yes.”

“On October 16th last year, were you arrested for assault?”

“Oh, my God.” Frank groaned, and he looked down before he glanced back up, momentarily locking eyes with Fliss who he noticed had taken a deep breath. He looked back down, shaking his head

“You have to answer the question Mr. Adler.” Judge Nicholls reminded him

Frank swallowed and focussed on a spot on the varnished surface of the wood in front of him, just by the microphone. “A drunk idiot attacked me and I defended myself. What does that have to do…”

“Did you spend the night in jail?” Highsmith cut him off.

“Yeah.” Frank nodded.

“You are in way over your head here. You're depriving that girl…”

Frank stayed still, shaking his head and glaring at his mother, all the while Highsmith continued ranting on at him

“…you're gambling with her future and now you’re being presented with an opportunity to do right by her.”

“Does council have a question for my client?” Cullen asked loudly

“Take the high road, Mr. Adler before she's rapidly damaged.”

“Does council have a question for my client or not?” Cullen repeated, this time standing up.

“Yes, sir. I do have a question.” Highsmith said. “Tell us. Is your continued guardianship really in the best interest of this little girl?”

“You do your best, Frank. And that’s all any of us can do…” Fliss’s voice rattled in his head, and he took a deep breath. No he wasn’t perfect. Yes, Evelyn could provide for her better than he could but could she love Mary like he did. No, no she couldn’t

He stared at his mother, as he lifted his chin and spoke loudly and clearly.

“Yes.Yes, it is.”

“I have no further questions.” Highsmith spoke.

Frank scratched at his head and left the dock.

***** Following the summing up, they were all dismissed. Frank shook Greg’s hand who told him he would be in touch and Frank left the courtroom with Roberta, Fliss nowhere to be seen. He took a deep breath, realising she was probably going to run a mile after hearing about the assault. That wasn’t how he wanted her to find out. However, to his amazement and joy she was waiting for him by his truck. Roberta nodded to him and made an excuse to nip over the road to the store for a water leaving them to talk alone.

“Thought you’d gone?” he said gently.

“No, I had to take a call from Joanne about a lesson. Why would I leave without saying goodbye?” she frowned

“The assault”

Fliss sighed “Okay, I admit it was a shock to hear but…”

“At least let me explain.”

“There’s really no need. You said you were defending yourself and I believe you.”

“He was a drunk idiot.” Frank continued anyway. “I was actually out with a friend, Jacob and his fiancée, Lisa. Jake had gone to the bathroom and this guy bumped into us and sent Lisa flying into the table, knocking a load of glasses over. When I told him to be careful he took a swing at me only he missed and, well I didn’t.”

“You’re a regular knight in shining armour, Sailor.” Fliss smiled before she looked at him softly. “I know that was hard today. I was so angry and the things he was saying to you but it’s done now. Try not to think on it because you can’t change the outcome. Whatever it is, you did your best.”

“You know I remembered you saying that to me.” he smiled, “Right as he was telling me what a lousy life I give Mary.” “It’s not lousy.”  Fliss shook her head. “She’s loved Frank. And she’s happy.”

He smiled again as she took a deep breath.

“Look, I have to go, I have a lesson in an hour now this rain has let up, but what are you doing tomorrow night?”

“Working.” he said, chuckling as she raised her eyebrow. “Yeah I know, second Friday night in a row but, well I’m behind thanks to this case and whilst Roberta has Mary I can get a good few hours in during the night and then get my head down for a few hours before she comes back.”

“How about I keep you company?” Fliss offered. “Only if that’s ok?”

Frank smiled “As long as you don’t distract me too much.” “Wouldn’t dream of it.”

**** The next evening, Frank and Fliss were in the workshop at the Marina, Frank explaining to Fliss the different components of the oil filter he was stripping down. She gave a loud, exaggerated yawn and he nudged her playfully. She grinned at him, and he didn’t miss the flash in her eyes as she looked him quickly up and down, taking in his dirty jeans, hands covered in oil and his long sleeved thin blue sweater which he knew fit him pretty well. Part of the reason he had worn it.

“Hey.” a familiar voice said, and they both looked up to see Cullen as he stood in the entrance.

“Hey.” Frank frowned “What’s…” “I got some news, and I wanted to give it to you in person.”

“I’ll er, give you a moment.” Fliss offered, and she went to leave but Frank caught her elbow gently.

“No, stay, please.”

She looked at him for a second and nodded as Frank turned his attention to Cullen.

“What is it Greg.”

“Highsmith called. They want to cut a deal.”

“What kind of deal?”

Cullen took a breath. “A foster family.”

“No way.” Frank dismissed the notion straight up and Greg continued to try and win him round, informing him that they could cherry pick and that it would be mutually approved and he’d already found a family in Tampa, which was what he had been working on all day.

“She’ll attend the Oaks, you and Evelyn will get visitation right, and then, when she’s twelve, you can go back into court and Mary can decide where, and with who, she wants to live.”

“You’re supposed to be on my team.” Frank cut his friend off, glaring at him “Why are you bringing me this deal?

“Other than I'm required to by law?” Greg looked back at him, and then suddenly Frank understood.

“You like this deal.” he stated and Greg nodded.

“I love this deal.”

“They think they're gonna lose.” Frank leaned on the work-desk in front of him, looking at Cullen.

“Yeah. They do.”

“You think we're gonna lose.”

“Yes.” Greg replied honestly. “I do, Frank.”

Frank looked down, swallowing before he turned to his friend who sighed.

“I gotta go put my kids to bed. I'll do whatever you want me to do. But, if we leave this up to the judge, Nicholls, he's old school, Frank. Does he like your mother? No. Does he like her income? Does he like her health plan? Does he like her home? You better believe it.”

Frank looked down again, shaking his head, unable to do anything else.

“I've been in his courtroom. A hundred times. And if it's a coin toss...Look at me.”

Frank turned to Greg, his arms still leaning on the top, muscles straining as he grasped at a wrench in front of him in frustration.

“If it's a coin toss, that old boy is going to side with the money.” Greg said gently “So, do me a favour, Frank. Just meet the family. See how it feels. It's all I ask.” With that he took a deep breath. “I gotta go, I’ll see you later. Goodnight Fliss.”

“Night.” she replied, watching him leave.

There was a pause before Frank picked up the wrench in his hand and threw it hard against the wall at the opposite side of the garage, before he stood up tall and turned to Fliss who was watching him, her face contorted in sympathy and sadness.

“I don’t know what to do.” He looked at her, and every single emotion he had been holding back cascaded over him in a wave as he felt utterly and hopelessly overwhelmed. He couldn’t stop the tears brimming in his eyes and he bowed his head, once more leaning on the desk. He felt a warm pair of hands gently on his arm, nudging him to turn slightly and he did so to look at Fliss as she wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him down into a hug. He pressed his face into the crook of her shoulder, his tears falling onto her soft skin as she smoothed a hand through his hair, gently soothing him.

“Sorry.” he mumbled after a moment pulling back.

She placed her hands on his face, wiping his tears with her thumbs, her own filling her eyes. “Don’t ever apologise to me for being upset, Frankie.”

He let out a soft, watery laugh as he dropped his forehead to hers, his eyes closing as he took a deep breath, composing himself.

“You now no one’s called me Frankie since I was a little kid” he smiled.

“Well it suits you.” she pulled away slightly. “You good?” He nodded, moving back out of her arms. “Do you think I should go?” he asked “Meet this family?”

“Frank, I can’t answer that.” “What would you do?”

“I honestly don’t know.” she shook her head. “I suppose there’s no harm in meeting them. But you have to be sure this is what is right for Mary. I do know one thing though, whatever you decide to do, I’ll be there all the way. I told you, I was here for the road trip, no matter how bumpy it gets.”

He nodded, taking a deep breath. He gently took her hand and raised it to his mouth, brushing his lips across her knuckles. “Thankyou.”

**** Chapter 9

[twinkleallnight]

Without a trace.

This was an ask by @anjanettexcordonia. She gave me this mysterious title to write a fic upon.

Book: The Royal Romance AU

Word count: 1820.

Disclaimer: All characters belong to pixelberry.

Rating: Teen/ PG

Warning : None.

It’s the annual Beaumont Bash. I see so many guests circling in the hall. And then I see her. My heart skips a beat when our eyes connect.

She is walking in, her hand curled around her brother’s arm. She has pulled back her lustrous brown hair in a bun today but those side bangs touching her temples are alluring me. I want to push them back with my palm and gently place a kiss there.

When her eyes meet mine, I feel a surge of heat building up my body and I try hard to hide the blush I feel on my cheeks. She beams at the effect she has on me.

I love drowning myself into those dark grey eyes. They feel like a shadow of my light grey eyes. I enjoy watching my reflection dancing in her greys.

 I want to cup my hands around those dusky cheeks. I adore the way they rise up with her smile. I wish I can move my thumb over her lips that she has done up in wine shade. I am going to tell her how much I love that colour on those lips and then I want to taste them as if I am drinking my favourite wine.

 I will let my fingers linger for a moment on her slender neck, long enough till I feel her shiver under my touch.  I will let my hands roam over her shoulders and travel down her bare arms feeling the goose bumps my touch causes.

 I will hold her at her waist and pull her into me, till there is no scope for even the air to be between us. I will embrace her and let my worries wash away in all the love she showers on me.

 I promise myself, I will tell her how much she means to me. Yes I promise, I will tell her how much I love her. Today. It doesn’t need to wait anymore.

“Bertrand” I hear someone calling me, shaking my shoulder. I come out of my reverie to meet Leo’s gaze.

He is my friend, may be the only friend I have.

“Yes?” he is giving me a questioning look. “ Sorry I got carried away in some thoughts.”

“ Always told you, you think too much. Take actions instead of just playing things in your heavy brains.” Leo smiles. “Come we need to talk.”

He pulls me out of the main hall. Before leaving I glance back at her. She is glowing today more than ever. I pacify my mind with the plan to sneak out with her later.    

I shake my head to get rid of her thoughts and walk to the study. Leo closes the doors behind us. He takes a chair and sprawls on it carelessly. I never liked this but who can question the crown prince.

“I am abdicating.” He blurts out.

“Excuse me?”

“I said, I have decided. It’s too much to handle. I am not cut out for it.”

Leo kept on saying things like that earlier too but he seems to be speaking with conviction today. “But what about Cordonia? What about Madeleine?”

“That is for the king to decide. Besides, he has Liam- the perfectionist” he air quotes. “Madeleine and I, we sorted it out.”

“What do you mean you sorted out? You are engaged to her.” I am irritated with his irrational behaviour.

“She also blabbers something like you about obligations and responsibilities. She seems to be least interested in our relationship. She chose Cordonia over me. So, she stays back.”

“Did you speak to your father?”

“Yes, I had a discussion with Liam and then I told the king.”

“Your father, you mean...” I try correcting him.

“The. King.” Leo scowls. “He is all professional and so am I. I will call him father when and if he ever treats me like a son.”

“You are making a hasty decision. You can take a holiday, rejuvenate yourself and then come back for your duties.” I try to reason with him.

“To hell with the duties Bert. I cannot ruin my life. I get to live only once. I don’t want to live under the constant pressure.”

“There are people dependent on you. You can’t just abandon them.”

“No one is indispensable Bert.”

“Hmm” I respond thinking about where this is going and the repercussions.

There is a knock on the door. I turn and open the door to just a slit to see who is it. “Maxwell?” I question him for his purpose of intervention.

“The king and queen will be here any moment.” Max bounces up and down in excitement. I wonder when will he stabilise and understand the importance of a decent behaviour.

“I am right behind you. Give me a minute.”

I close the door again to address Leo. “Can we talk about this after some time? I am required to be out there right now.” Leo nods and we both walk out to reach the entrance just in time.

King Constantine struts in as I bow down in curtsy. “Your majesty, it’s my honour to welcome you to the Beaumont’s humble abode.”

The king surveys the hall and the enjoying crowd. He gives me a pleased smile. “You have always impressed me with your passion and sincerity towards your work.” He gives a glance behind my shoulder where Leo stands and then he continues with a sneer. “Unlike few thankless people who shun their responsibilities at the first given opportunity.”

I maintain the smile on my face while I try to ignore the snarky comments that he utters against his son. Finally, he gives me a nod and I usher him in.

The evening continues, keeping me on my toes. I greet and meet all the guests one after another. I keep glancing at her in between the conversations. I suddenly have so many doubts creating a wall of thoughts around me.

I lost my mother when I was young. Father has been in coma since past few years. I had to shoulder all the responsibilities of the duchy alone as my younger brother refuses to grow up to act like an adult. Leo, the only friend I have, is leaving. Who else do I have in my glum life?  May be her? Can I walk that line? I love her. Maybe I love her. But am I doing the right thing? Do I want to burden her with all that I have? I wish I could leave everything like Leo and runaway with her to a far distant place from here.

I scan the room again and find her standing there, looking up at her brother with a grin. He pats her cheek playfully. She side-hugs him resting her head on his shoulder. He is gazing affectionately at his only family, his little sister.

No, this is a mistake. She deserves better. I can’t be selfish pulling her into my grinding life. She needs a better chance. She needs someone who can give the world to her.

After the official dinner and formalities, it’s time to bid farewell to the king. I glance at her one last time before turning to the king. He says with enthusiasm, “I have enjoyed a delicious meal in an exquisite ambience. Your house always puts the best foot forward Duke Ramsford.”

“It’s kind of you to say that Sir.”

“We will take your leave now. Keep up the good work. You need more finances? The crown is there to help you to restore the previous years glory to your house. Just try staying away from distractions.” He clasps my shoulder while giving a side glance to her. I lower my eyes to the floor. “ Your father will be so proud of you.”

The royal couple gone, the after party starts in full swing. Maxwell is better at handling this wild part. I excuse myself and settle down in the study, brooding over the events. My promises melting away, I make new resolutions. A knock on the door brings me to ground.

“Come in.” I straighten up.

The door opens to reveal her full form. I start feeling the rush through my veins. This is it.

Her face brightens up. She rushes in towards me with eager steps and hugs me. “I have been waiting for a moment alone with you. I wanted to tell you something.”

I know my face bears a serious look that must have stopped her. She suddenly takes a step back. “What’s the matter? You have been distant all evening.”

“We… we… I am afraid we cannot continue.”

She gives me a puzzled look. “Cannot continue? What do you mean?”

“I have more pressing issues at hand and I cannot waste time in some flirtatious affair right now.”

“Was is it just a passing affair for you all this time?” she says in a hurtful voice.

“ You can have a better life outside these walls. I think I have made myself clear enough. You may leave unless you have anything else to discuss.”

“I never expected this from you Bertrand.” She says retrieving away.

Her eyes sadly look at the walls and the furniture around as if absorbing the warmth of the room for one last time. We have shared precious moments here. My heart feels her pain and I want to hold her tight, one last time. But I keep standing stiffly, till she walks out and shuts the door.

“ Your father will be so proud of you.” The kings voice echoes in my ears.

I plop down into my chair with a thud. I feel the energy in my body draining out. I hold my head in my hands. This was the only way, I try to console myself.

*************

Leo leaves for a stupid cruise after few days. The king is hoping that he will come back and the plan of his abdication has been put under the rugs for now. I return to the manor after saying my good byes to him.

I see Maxwell rushing out somewhere.

“Where are you going?” I ask him.

“Uh...” he fumbles giving me an inkling that he is again trying to hide something crazy he has done.

“What have you done now?” I raise my voice.

“Nothing. I didn’t do anything. It’s Drake.” He still tries to cover up.

“What did he do?”

“Actually it’s not about him. It’s Savannah.”

“What about her?” I start getting anxious.

“She went missing two days ago with only a handwritten note for Drake, saying not to search for her. She is leaving for a better life. We have been searching everywhere but no luck.” Max fills in quickly. “Can I leave now?”

“Uh… yes… yes. Go help him.” I wave my hand.

Better life. I said that to her. But I never thought she will leave everyone. What have I done?

Tags: @ao719 @annekebbphotography @anjanettexcordonia @bebepac @charlotteg234 @choicesficwriterscreations @choiceskatie @cordonia-gothqueen @cordonianroyalty @drakewalker04 @eadanga @gkittylove99 @glaimtruelovealways @kat-tia801 @hopefulmoonobject @hopelessromanticmonie @iam-the-kind-and-thoughtful @idontknowwhysblog @jessiembruno @jovialyouthmusic @jaxsmutsuo @kingliam2019 @khoicesbyk @lifeaskim @lisha1valecha @lovablegranny @mrswalkers-blog @mom2000aggie @no-one-u-know @ntoraplayschoices @princessleac1 @ritachacha @secretaryunpaid @sirbeepsalot @speedyoperarascalparty @shanzay44 @texaskitten30 @queenrileyrose @sanchita012 @sfb123 @theroyalheirshadowhunter @aestheticartsx @yourmajesty09

[northcarolinanative]

𝐍𝐨𝐭 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐒𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐖𝐚𝐲

Pairing: JJ Maybank x Reader 

A/N: Okay, I tried a songfic, I am totally not sure if I did this right or not. This is based on “Not in the Same Way” by 5sos (love putting my two favs together haha). Give it a listen while you read :) Anyway, its kinda a long one, kinda angsty, kinda fluffy? I have one more request to work on, then I’m free to write more so please send in more, I wanna know what yall are thinking!! Requests are open!!  Enjoy! There’s some cursing, but other than that I don't think there are any other warnings… 

Drink all night, never sleep You say go, I won't leave I love you, you love me

A typical Friday night on the cut. The other pogues and I have decided that it was about time we let loose. So we loaded two kegs into the back of John B’s van. Pope, Kie, and I in the back joking around while John B and JJ were in the front fighting over the radio station. I stopped when I saw the way the sun was falling through JJ’s hair and making his smile brighter. We weren’t together or anything. We were messing around, no strings attached. At least that’s how it started. We hadn’t told the pogues, but they weren’t stupid. I feel sure they had put two and two together, but just did not mention it to us that they knew not wanting to make things awkward. 

“Y/N, tell John B that we are not listening to this shit!” JJ asked, turning to look at you behind John B’s seat. I snapped out of my thoughts. 

I threw my hands up surrendering. “Hey, I’m not getting involved this time. Last time we had to listen to the news. Remember that.” I giggled looking at Pope as he hid his face. 

“Yea thanks for that Pope” Kie laughed. 

Before the two could settle their bickering we had arrived at the boneyard. It had only been a couple of hours and I was already way too many drinks in, thanks to Pope and Kie challenging me to chugging contests. “ I should really learn my limit by now” I giggle, sitting beside a touron boy and some others that were listening to Kie talk about the problem with microplastics. “You know your cup is plastic” I giggle at her, causing her to throw her empty red solo cup at me. 

“Hey now” The touron boy beside me smiled. “She’s too pretty to be throwing things at now.” I felt a blush creep up my face as I looked down and pushed my hair behind my ear. I met his eyes and said a quiet thank you. 

“Yea. I’m leaving now” I heard someone huff before turning to see JJ walking quickly down the beach. After a quick confused exchange of looks with Kie, I quickly get up to leave, following the boy down the beach. I jog to try and catch up with his quickening pace. Where had he even been at, I did not see him around? My head started to spin with worry. Maybe a kook said something to him? 

I reached out and grabbed his wrist. “JJ!” I pulled him back. He was close, really close. “What the hell was that? Did some kook piss you off?” 

I huffed and looked out toward the ocean. “No, it was actually a pogue Y/N.” His words were cold and he stared at you. 

“What?” I looked up at him. “Who would mess with you from the cut?” He just laughed and looked at me. 

“You Y/n” 

“Me?” I huffed backing up “What did I do?”

“That tourist. He was looking you up and down like a piece of meat. Eyeing you up and you were eating it up.” He stepped back. “You know what Y/N. Go have fun with him. I don’t know why I’m stopping you anyway.” 

“JJ, no!” I said pulling him back to me. I turned to look back toward the boneyard. “I don’t want to go anywhere, JJ. I was not flirting with him, I honestly did not notice till he said something!” I looked at him and he was still angry. I could see it in his expression. 

“No seriously Y/N. Go, have a good time.” He spoke with confidence but stayed in his spot, not moving. 

“JJ I’m not going anywhere. Ok?” I sighed. “You mean to tell me that if I hadn’t caught your eye tonight you would not have gone home with some touron girl tonight?” I asked. Our reputations precede both of us when it comes to our encounters with the island’s visitors. 

“No Y/N” My name fell from his lips with spite. “I would not have” 

“What’s all this about? I thought you said” I held up air quotes emphasizing what he had told me a few weeks back, “No. strings. Attached.” He had made our agreement crystal clear from the beginning. 

“Well shit happens Y/N” He sighed and walked closer to me. His hand reached up to touch my face, brushing the stray pieces of hair away. “Because I think I’m in love with you.” He breathed out like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. 

My face began to blush as I looked him in the eye. “I think I am in love with you too.” 

We fuck, then we fight, then you call me a psycho I walk out the door, but you won't let me let go

It was the night after the party, I hadn’t slept very well. My mind reeling with thoughts of the pogues and their thoughts on the different dynamic of JJ and I or if we would even tell them anytime soon it was so new. I had headed back to the Chateau after our moment on the beach. JJ told me he was going to tell our friends that we were leaving. “Go back to the house. I’ll be there shortly.” JJ told me with a grin and a slight tap on my butt. 

So that’s what I did. I had no idea what he was telling the others but I went back to the house and laid down on the spare bedroom bed. I waited for JJ to get back, taking him an abnormally. He came in behind John B in what seemed to be a heated argument. “Dude I’m going to bed. We’ll talk about this in the morning.” He said before shutting the door. 

JJ looked over my body. I had changed into his T-shirt while waiting for him, as my party clothes were uncomfortable. “Damn. Do you look good in my clothes” He eyed me up and down licking his lips. He crawled over me connecting our lips together in a heated kiss. 

--

I woke up to the loud sound of pans banging in the kitchen and the sound of Kiara laughing with John B. I looked up at JJ who had heard the pans banging around in the kitchen. I looked at him and had no idea what to do. “Good morning” JJ looked down at you. You noticed the red and pink marks that littered his jawline and chest, slowly tracing the marks from the night before. 

“Good morning,” I say back with a smile on my face. The night had been filled with ‘I love you’s and more promises from the moment that you two shared on the beach. “We seem to be in a sticky situation” I giggle motioning towards the door. 

“I’ll leave first.” He said. It hurt a little that he did not want to leave together. He began to sit up. I put my hand on his chest to stop him. 

“JJ. Wait.” I sat up pulling the blanket up around me suddenly insecure in my own skin. “What is this? Last night it was different, right? It wasn’t just me? I mean –” JJ cut me off by kissing me, one hand cupping my face the other resting on my thigh. 

“You’re my girl now, Y/N” He smiled pulling away. “Whether you like it or not.” He said, making me smile. He got up, the sun falling through the window open onto his body. He pulled on a pair of shorts. “You might wanna get dressed” He picked up my clothes off the ground and laid them in front of me  with a smile. I started getting dressed and waited for JJ to slip out of the doorway to stand up and finish getting dressed. I understood to an extent, that the pogues would need some easing into this idea of you and JJ being more romantically involved. 

I walked toward the bedroom door slowly opening it as I heard Kie’s voice, a harsh tone behind it. “JJ you pulled a gun on Topper last night. Pointed it at his head” She said 

“I was trying to protect John B!” He fought back. “He would have drowned you?” He retorted. I  saw him looking at John B once you finally stepped out of the room. The other pogues wore a confused look as they saw me come from the same bedroom as JJ. 

“JJ?” I spoke softly. He turned around his eyes large. “You did what last night?” My tone is getting increasingly louder. 

“I defended John B. There was a fight that broke out and he was drowning him Y/N” He spoke moving closer to me. 

“Yes! By pulling a gun on him dude!” Pope spoke up. 

“You pulled a gun on someone and came back here, and did that?” I spoke with tears in my eyes motioning toward the door behind me. 

“Y/N. That has nothing to do with–”

“No JJ. Are you psycho? What the hell?” I move past him pushing against him to walk out to the back door, toward the water. 

JJ looked at the others and their confused states. He finally started toward me. “Y/N. Wait. Please.” He caught up to me as I started my way down the back steps. “Baby. Please don’t go.” I melted when he called me baby. I turned around looking at him. 

“I didn’t mean to snap like that. But you didn’t tell me? You came back and we had sex JJ after you put a gun to someone’s head? Without even mentioning it?” 

“I know! I know! I know it was stupid alright I know.” He looked at the ground. “It was just I was able to stop Topper ya know? I was able to stop him from hurting John B. I just wanted to know that John B was gonna be safe.” 

I looked down at his shaking hands, and he was biting on his lower lip. “Hey, I know you always just want to protect us. I just wish you would have told me all this before I heard that you pulled a gun and shot it into the air” 

“That was stupid. I know it was stupid Y/N” I reached up and grabbed his hands before leaning against his chest to be close to him, trying to comfort him. “I just wanted to show them that they are not better than us like they act. They come over here and drink our beer, smoke our weed, and think it is cool to live the poor pogue life, then spit us any other chance they get. I wanted to show them that we can’t be pushed around”

I moved my hands to wrap him in a hug. “Y/N, I am so sick of being pushed around” 

I pulled him closer. “I know J.” 

I don't ever wanna lie to you But I can't say no to you

We sat on the beach, both escaping our respective life issues. The stars had started to peek out. Over the past few weeks of our newly changed relationship, JJ let me in. He was hurting a lot recently. Things had gotten even worse at home for him; it was another bad night. 

“I don’t want to lie to you Y/N” JJ spoke, breaking the silence. “I’m scared,” he finally said. I moved closer wrapping my arm around his and leaning my head on his shoulder. 

“What do you mean, J?” 

“Love.” He said looking out at the ocean. “I know I love you, but love, it’s just really messed up.” 

I could see where he was coming from, the drugs running through his system probably didn’t help his quickly spiraling thoughts. 

“It isn’t easy to be vulnerable” I move to rest my head against his shoulder, feeling his fall on top of mine. “But that is what love is, trust the other person you love.”

“I love you, I really do, but what happens if one day you decide you don’t want me, you find someone better.” My heart broke for him as he kept speaking. 

I quickly turn and put both my hands around his face. “JJ, don’t say that. I do not think I will ever find someone who is as kind, loving, and respectful as you. You treat me like a princess. You know how to have fun and you literally can make any situation a good one, just by being you.” I quickly reach up and softly kiss him. His hands finding their way to my hips. I pull away “Plus you're great in bed” I joked, causing him to crack a smile “How could I EVER say no to that great of a man?”

[ichayalovesyou]

Hey so from your blog I understand you are neurodivergent? Correct me if I'm wrong. If you are, sometimes I wonder if I have Asperger's Syndrome. When I look back on my childhood there are some questionable aspects that I got over, I think, but with a lot of effort. For example I used to watch the same movie over and over again till I had big chunks of it memorized and I played it in my head when I went to sleep? And I was obsessed with puzzles, I did and redid them many times. And lots of repetitive things. Also I don't know if I was just being sensitive or something, but I always cried at the tiniest disapproval of adults.

I'm sorry if this comes off as stereotypical, but those are things my peers found weird and not actually "normal" and it was pretty hard for me to get over them.

Lol I don't even know where this is going, I guess I'd like to see some insights from a neurodivergent person, because I've never had the chance to interact with one. How did you figure out you were neurodivergent? Can a person on the autism spectrum learn to communicate effectively with other people on their own? (because I think I can do that, but it's not always a pleasure haha).

Feel free not to respond to this, I don't want to bother, but you seem..... Approachable😂. I'm not one of those people who self-diagnose through an internet quiz and try to make themselves appear special....You know the ones. I'm genuinely curious haha. I'm probably fine, it would still be interesting to see your response. Thanks.

I’m going to be perfectly real with you

I do not have an official diagnosis for anything aside from “generalized anxiety” but I only got the chance (until very recently) to get therapy for a year.

But I do feel like there’s a difference between wanting to feel “special” and going into self-diagnosis territory half-cocked. And looking at your life, tallying up the evidence, making an educated guess, and then making an effort on finding out whether or not you’re guess is correct from a professional.

For instance, in my case (I’m about to get into “tragic” backstory stuff just to give a clear picture):

I come from an emotionally abusive situation in which, even when I had teachers, pediatricians or other moms suggest I (at the very least) had ADHD my mother got offended, denied it and insisted I was fine. In fact, the only way in which she has treated my as any sort of neurodivergent is the “generalized anxiety” diagnosis I got from the six months of therapy I got 7 years ago. Even then she uses it as a tool to invalidate my feelings. She never considered it may be a symptom rather than a source until my baby brother got diagnosed with autism.

My family has a loooooong history of autism/adhd and other mental illnesses, all of my siblings and cousins above the age of 3 have one or both, I also wouldn’t be surprised if my father has autism and my mother has ADHD even if they went undiagnosed from the same stigma that kept my mother from getting me help (and only getting my younger sibling help when essentially forced by the school system.)

It was only really when my brother exhibited behaviors and got an autism diagnosis (and my mother and I started reading up on the topic) that I realized just how many of my behaviors were associated with textbook autism. I looked at my baby brother and I saw myself, the biggest difference between us is that I was hyper verbal (talking a bit before 18 months) and he was totally nonverbal until he was almost three (both of which, are symptoms of autism) that I really considered the possibility. Even my mother suggested I may be right, better late then never I guess.

I exhibit many of the exact behaviors you describe that are associated with both adhd and autism, I lined up toys, I drew the same picture on one sheet over and over. I take comfort in compulsively watching movies and shows over and over, I (for lack of a better words) stim sing and use movie quotes and references as eccholalia as stress relievers (especially in new social situations). I cried at the drop of a hat, when I was angry I’d repeatedly hurt myself by banging my head and arms against the myself or walls. I also do the “happy flappy arms” when I’m excited or nervous, I have a special interest in writing and making music (I have a hard time thinking about pretty much anything else). I had lots of trouble socially until about high school and none of my friends are neurotypical (or straight lol). So, I think it’s safe to say that I am either on the spectrum, have ADHD (which exhibits a lot of similar symptoms).

When I found this out, I started treating myself like I had these things instead of beating myself up for being “weird” and my mental health improved significantly. Mind you, it’s still not great because I am not (yet) in therapy and live in an overcrowded, emotionally abusive household, but I am making concerted efforts to remedy both. I’ve got my first therapy session in almost a decade arranged for next week and plan on moving in with another, less crowded, less abusive parent.

The best thing I can suggest is, read up on what you think you may have, look at the symptoms, compare them to you’re own, write it down, write how you feel about it. But more importantly read other people’s experiences with autism and ADHD, while medical professionals can help you get access to diagnosis and (if you need it) medication, sometimes the personal aspects get lost in the machine. At the same time of course be careful who you listen to, there are a lot of organizations and people out there who want to “help” by trying to force us to act “normal”, acting neurotypical does NOT equal living to enjoying your life to its fullest potential. On the flipside there of course people out there with and without diagnosis that will promote unhealthy thinking patterns and coping mechanisms, you’ve got to think critically and decide what is best for you.

Not all of us can get therapy, not all of us will get diagnosed even if we do, especially if you’re AFAB and have autism, or if you’re “well behaved” (ie pass as neurotypical) we slip through the cracks all the time. Try to get therapy anyway, a diagnosis can be really helpful (but in the case of autism it can also be detrimental because of the sheer amount of ableism around it, again, read other people’s experiences).

It’s okay to act on the idea that something is wrong, you know when something isn’t right with you, not even your parents can define that for you (I learned that the hard way). As long as you don’t wallow in it, operating under the assumption you have autism and/or adhd, using the tried and true coping mechanisms, being gentle with yourself, can be very, very helpful.

Hope this helped <3 💚🖖🏻💚

[jojoreadwhat]

Don't build me up just to let me down | b.h. x fem!reader

a/n; okay so this isn’t this preview I posted about (still working on it but I keep getting other ideas for more pieces) I wanted to give you something to keep you on your toes. I tagged as many (tumblr has a limit, sry) from my last Ben teases as a thank you for being supportive, even when I’m all over the place. y’all are amazing ✨

prompt; fem!reader is in love with Ben and hes blind to it.

words; 2k

mentions; joe mazzello

this tale includes foul language, angst, which may lead to kisses and fluffiness.

inspiration;

You sat in the back of Rooney’s, about a block away from work with your best friend, Ben. Talking over drinks while waiting for your food to be prepared.

Venting about the three days of work you’ve endured, “I swear, if Elizabeth places another assignment on my desk. My face is going to be on the news.” You harped, taking a sip of your soda pop.

Ben chuckled at you, flashing his pearly whites behind his plump smirk. “Says the girl who can barely kill a spider.” You stuck your tongue at the stunning blonde fellow sitting across you in the booth.

“I can be a tough gal when I want to be!” Defending yourself, “Sure.” He winked at you, rolling your eyes to his words. “Just wait till 11pm, I’ll prove you wrong, alright.”

Ben nodded his head, reassuringly with sarcasm spread across his face as he reached for his phone next to him on the table, passing some time.

You and Ben have been known each other for about three years now. The both of you met during a gallery opening for a mutual friend of yours. Since then you were inseparable, especially when your schedules were obliging. Whenever Ben was back from filming movies, you were around each other. Lunches together, were hanging out, texting non-stop and even being each other’s date to any event either of you had. You went to each other for everything, talked about everything to anything. You were pretty lucky, who knew a comment on a photograph would give you, your best friend.

Still waiting on your food to be brought out, you noticed Ben was up to something as well. His plump pink lips, curling upwards as his tongue poked a bit, grazing against his top lip, making it glisten.

“And what are we smiling about Benjamin?” You broke his distraction, his green eyes meeting yours as you wiggled your eyebrows, tauntingly.

Ben’s cheeks turned a shade a red, rolling his eyes before they found yours again. “Cecilia.”

Cecilia? A new girl? You thought first.

What about Annie?

Since you’ve known Ben, he’s had a little track record for being a loose cannon. When you met, he had gotten out of a long term relationship and hasn’t had a proper girlfriend since.

In a way you were kinda okay with that, because selfishly, you were hoping it would be you.

You have a weak smile, “Ah, she sounds pretty.” Trying to keep the conversation going, hoping he wasn’t noticing the knot twisting in your stomach by the look on your face.

From the beginning, you always had feelings for Ben. You thought you were going to start dating by the way things were. That was until he opened up about his last relations and his want to stay single for a while. You respected that and that’s how the friendship came more into view.

Of course, you became too close for comfort, many would say. You had no problems with cuddles, staying each other’s beds after late nights of drinking or binge watching movies and shows. At first it was just friendly, how you guys worked. Shortly when you noticed your feelings weren’t so platonic, you didnt say anything about them, you didn’t put an end to the currents. You kept the little perks going because it made Ben feel like more than a friend.

Ben went on about Cecilia, how they met, what she looked like as he flashed his phone at you. She was pretty, just like you said about her name. All common talk and you took it as the good friend you are, listening to him gush.

“She’s really nice,” looking down at his phone, locking it up. “We have a date on Saturday night, it’s our first.”

That’s when you weren’t okay with it anymore. That same knot pulled to its limits within you. Ben and you were supposed to go out on Saturday night. He was going to be your date.

Caught up in your thoughts, your feelings, you didn’t realize the blonde fellow was still talking to you. “Y/N?” He called, looking at you weary.

“Hm?” You hummed.

“You alright, love?” Ugh, he was only making it worse. Slowly you nodded, “Yeah, um. Go on?”

He was still peering at you, strangely. “Any advice?”

He was asking you advice on his date? He never did this before, ever. What was going on? You felt overwhelmed.

Shrugging, “Just be yourself.” not sure what else to say except what you should’ve told him from the beginning. You looked down at your phone, a clear screen but it was quickest get away.

“I’ve gotta go. Elizabeth needs me.” You announced, standing up from the booth. Ben squinted his eyebrows to you, “is everything alright? Our food hasn’t come yet.” Sincerely worried by you.

You shook your head, grabbing your coat, fumbling through your purse for a few dollars. “Lunch is on me, I’m sorry, Ben.” Placing the bills on the table before you shimmied out of the booth. Without a goodbye.

“I’ll text you.” You heard Ben yell as you reached the door and on to work you went.

+

It’s been a week since Ben has heard from you. He’d text you, in the beginning he would get one worded replies to then nothing. He called you, going straight to voicemail. He drove by your apartment and no answer. Your work wasn’t much help either, saying you in meetings and such like you told them to do. He was really worried about you.

Ben sat on his sofa with a beer on the coffee table and a controller in hand as Joe and him played FIFA.

“So a week?” Joe questioned, his eyes still on the tv. “That’s really unusual of y/n.”

Ben nodded, leaning to grab a sip of his beverage, “I don’t know what happened. I last seen her for lunch and she left abrupt because of work”

Joe knew you the same amount of time Ben did since Ben introduced you two. Unlike Ben, Joe was quite aware of your crush on Ben. He had found out at a party way back when, the stares you gave Ben were a dead giveaway. He wasn’t going to let you live it down until you told him that Ben didn’t know and this was “something you needed to work out on your own.” You quoted to him.

He paused the game, “Alright?” Ben raised a brow, looking at his red headed friend for explanations.

“Let’s figure this out.” Joe said, clearing his throat after a swig of his beer. “What happened during lunch?”

Ben sat up straight now, his hands meeting in the openness of his lap. Trying to think back to the last Wednesday he seen you.

“Ehm, we talked about her job. Elizabeth was putting a lot on her plate.” He began, Joe listened carefully. He knew that wasn’t a culprit. “Go on.”

Ben closed his eyes for a second, “oh” he spoke, “I talked about an upcoming date with Cecilia.”

Joe smiled, toothlessly. “Bingo.”

Ben looked at him, confused. “What do you mean “bingo”?” Joe then placed his hand on his friends shoulder.

“It’s not for me to explain. But I know that’s a reason why she left in a hurry.” He explained, “She and I quote, has something to tell you that she needs to tell you herself. Go try and see if she’s home again.”

+

After the confusing conversation with Joe, Ben jumped into his car and headed to your apartment. Still trying to figure out what you had to explain, it was eating at him but he wasn’t going to let this go. He needed to know what was going on.

You were cooped up in living room, snuggled in a plush throw, eating popcorn and watching a marathon of the office by yourself when you heard a banging at your door. 

Spooked, you muted your tv and rised from the sofa. Slowly making your way to the door and picking up a vase.

“Y/N, open up!” It was Ben, “I know you’re in there.”

You sighed to yourself, placing the vase back where it was before heading to the door and unlocking it.

The blonde, dressed in grey joggers and hoodie that match with slippers. Stood on your front step, staring at you with his green eyes almost glowing from the little light hanging above outside.

“Hi?” You greeted, not knowing how to exactly redeem your week absence. Ben’s brows raised, like he was surprised to even hear you speak, let alone answer the door in the first place.

“Can I come in?” Asking, you looked at the ground before you nodded. Backing up with the door in front of you as he let himself in.

You closed the door after he had entered, following him to the living room. It was quiet for the most part, watching Ben looking over the screen of the tv and the current state of your living room as you were cozied up for a night in.

“Do you want something to-”

“An explanation, yes.” He commanded, then. Looking right at you now, you folded your arms in front of your chest. Closing your open sweater, tighter to you.

“There’s nothing to explain? I’ve been busy, I guess.”

Ben didn’t by it for a minute, looking at you dumbfounded, briefly. Knowing you well enough to know you were lying. “Bull shit.”

Your eyes shot up at him from his words, Ben had a potty mouth but nothing ever directed towards you. “What’s going on? Everyone seems to know more than I do.”

Raising your brow, “What do you mean?” You asked, trying to figure out what was going on compared to what you thought he was here for.”

“Joe told me you had something to say to me that needed to come from you.” Your mouth dropped, you were going to kill Joe the next time you seen him.

Immediately you pushed back your hair, stressed out by being put on the spot. “So what’s going on?” He repeated.

You bit your lip, looking down at your feet before looking up at him again, his green eyes searching every inch of you for answers through your silence. Sighing, you rolled your eyes.

“I was mad.” You began, folding your arms across your chest again, standing at the end of your couch as Ben stood almost in front of you, near the coffee table. His brows furrowed, “Why?”

“Because of your date. I didn’t want it to happen. You were supposed to hang out with me that day.” Feeling the brim of your eyes becoming moistened. Ben still had a confused look on his face, “Is that it?” His deep raspy voice asking.

You looked to the ground between you, shaking your head. “No,”

“I was more upset because it wasn’t me.” You admitted, “I wasn’t Cecilia. I wasn’t the ‘date’ you were gushing over. I’ve been pissed at every date you have,” you felt tears steaming your cheeks now, looking up at him.

“But I’ve been so in love with you, that I’ve allowed it to just hang over. Then you asked me for advice and you never do that. I knew this girl was going to be something for you if you were going all that length to impress her.”

Your hand met your mouth now, feeling the wetness of your face from crying as you spoke. Feeling relieved, scared, in disbelief that all of those words hit the air finally.

Ben didn’t say anything, he didn’t know what to say because he wasn’t sure how to explain that he’s been waiting to hear you say that all this time. He was just as in love with you, maybe even more than you could imagine. He wanted nothing more than those girls to be you, some of them were just dinner dates because his feelings were too unbearable to want to be with anyone else. So unbearable that he called off the date with Cecilia moments after you walked out of the restaurant.

You stared at Ben gazing right back at you. You thought your heart was going to explode by the minutes passing in silence. You couldn’t tell what he he was thinking right now but it was eating you alive.

“Please say something.” You muttered, still searching him. You watched as his face straightened, shaking his head. “No”

You felt your heart drop to your feet. “No?” You questioned, he gripped his bottom lip between his teeth.

“No.” He said again, getting closer to you as your eyes never left his. “Because I rather do this.”

Before you could register what he meant, Ben wrapped his hands around your face and crashed his lips upon yours. You didn’t kiss back right away, but when one hand slipped to the middle of your back. Your lips moved in sync of his, feeling warm, soft against yours. Reaching up with your hand to his neck and fingers wrapping themselves in his golden locks as your lips swell under his. Completely lost in your sense, trying to realize this wasn’t a dream you were experiencing.

Ben pulled away, still close as you felt his breath featherlight as your lips as you caught air. “You alright?”

You nodded, your hands still in his hair as you looked in his eyes, still feeling like a dream.

“As long as you keep doing that. I will be.” Ben dropped his head slightly, chuckling at your breathless words, meeting your eyes again. Before his lips met yours once again.

tag list - @chocolatekisses8 @onceuponadetectivedemigod @blitchen @fairestkillerqueenofall @deakydeacs @bamfkurt @queen-turtle-boiii @bashfulshy @prettylittlegoldfish @spicyarreagaa @jonesyaddiction @strawberry-blondie @m90schick @deadlyaffairs @ihatethespacebars @rocknrollqueenie @winters0ul @grapesondolan @chubbybunnybenny @borhapwifey @pamacs-macs @rogerinahardy1 @gaycarolz @slytherinxval @crazylittlethingcalledtina @oxuminaa @mrsobrien-stilinski @the-southernbelle @rogerina-hardy @verar1 @flapjackjackass @oofsweetgg @jessicaa-the-weirdo @shi-tmp3 @sunflower653348 @michael-is-bae @cupcake09cup @randomfandomshitposts @ashadoresbenhardy @lilpxnda @muscleshirtgamewasstrong @coincidence-ithinknots-blog @choc-chip-chick @roger-taylors-drumsticks

[somerandr]

royalty

Maddie lets out another dramatic sigh, huffing a little when Sophie and Jack both ignore her in favor of oohing and ahhing over the stories Lizzie has begun meticulously typing out and collecting in a leather bound binder. On one hand, Maddie gets their distraction. Her brother-in-law had never quite seen Lizzie the same way Maddie does, always knowing her as the big sister he couldn’t ever really relate to, the big sister he tended to see more as a parental figure than a sibling, creating an insurmountable distance between them. And her best friend just likes to be annoying—a talent of hers since they were in middle school. 

On the other hand, Maddie has something to get off her chest and, dammit, she needs Sophie and Jack to pay attention. 

She sighs again, louder this time, placing her mug of coffee on the table with a little more force than strictly necessary. It has its desired effect: Sophie looks up in concern, clearly thinking Maddie has dropped the mug, and Jack moves as if to act as Maddie’s support beam. 

(The first few weeks of this sort of behavior from her best friend and her brother-in-law had been frustrating and grated on her nerves. But now she appreciates that they’re here, sitting with her, acting as de facto babysitters while Lizzie is out.

To be perfectly honest, Maddie appreciates not being alone.) 

“What’s up, Maddie Bear?” Sophie asks, head tilted to the side as she closes the binder with a satisfying thump. “Annoyed we’re more interested in the stories than you?”

“First of all, as if anything could be more interesting than me,” Maddie says with a faux self-aggrandizing air. “Secondly, don’t call me that. We’re not in high school anymore.”

“It’s always like high school when I’m with you, Mads,” Sophie sings, shoving Jack aside and wrapping her arms around Maddie’s shoulders, giving her an awkward hug from the side. “But seriously, what’s up?” 

Now that Sophie and Jack are looking at her patiently, but expectantly, Maddie feels her mouth go dry. She doesn’t want to admit this to them, doesn’t want to show them that it bothers her—and yet, she needs to tell someone or she thinks she’ll combust. 

“Evie called,” she mumbles after several beats, looking down at her hands. She feels Sophie drop her arms and pull back, and though she doesn’t look, she knows Sophie and Jack are wearing identical expressions of a mixture of disgust and anger. 

“What’s Evil doing calling you?” Sophie hisses, and when Maddie looks up at her, her arms are crossed tightly over her chest, lips pressed into a thin line. Jack, on the other hand, looks like he’s turned to stone, unable to move at all. 

“Apparently, she heard the news about me. Wanted to make sure she um, expressed her sadness,” Maddie mumbles, using air quotes around the latter part of her comment, still thinking about the sickly-sweet voice of Evie Cummings and how much she wishes she could have reached through the phone and punched Evie in her perfectly made up face. “She told me I didn’t need to worry about Elizabeth.” 

(This is what’s got her so mad, not the fact that Evie called, but that she figured it would be okay to slowly explain to Maddie that Lizzie would be taken care of, ‘in cough cough, the worst kind of situation.’

Maddie’s not jealous. 

At least, she doesn’t think so.) 

“I don’t understand this whole staying friends with the ex thing,” Jack says, running his fingers through his hair and dropping into the chair next to Maddie, his legs stretched out in front of him as he slouches. He looks a lot like his sister, but his hair is darker, and his manner is more airy. Where Jack is quick with a smile, Lizzie is content to merely quirk her lips. 

(Except for if it’s at her.

Lizzie will always smile at her.)

“I agree,” Sophie says darkly, her eyes narrowed as if she’s already planning something nefarious. “Evil needs to go.” 

“She’s Elizabeth’s friend,” Maddie argues weakly, not quite able to believe her own words. Lizzie had met and dated Evie in what she still calls ‘a dark time’ in her life. The fact that Evie helped her through it—that she had been there through long nights and eased Lizzie through panic attacks—meant that Evie had a permanent place in Lizzie’s life, even if Maddie and Evie had made their mutual dislike of one another well-known. 

“Right,” Jack laughs, flicking his head so that his hair would fall perfectly on his forehead, giving Sophie a wink as she rolls his eyes at his antics. “And you stayed friends with that baseball player, huh Mads? What was his name again?” Jack asks in faux confusion, tapping a finger against his chin. “Darren? Derek? Daniel,” he stresses, flicking his hair again, smiling at Maddie as he stretches out Daniel’s name. 

“It’s different,” Maddie says, waving him off, but Sophie sighs dreamily before shaking her head. 

“And everyday I think it’s just tragic that you didn't keep him around for me. Your best friend. How could you, Maddie Bear?” 

Maddie blushes, glaring at Sophie and Jack as they chuckle at her embarrassment.

“Can we get back to the point?” she asks weakly, two seconds away from banging her head against the kitchen table. She’s sure that won’t go over well with Lizzie; Sophie and Jack would get fired from babysitting duty the second Lizzie notices the bruise. 

“Wasn’t the point that Evie is a she-devil? Because Jack and I are in full agreement on that front,” Sophie says, picking up Maddie’s mug and taking a sip before wincing at the cold, bitter coffee. “You’re really letting yourself go, babe,” she mutters, stalking over to the sink and emptying the coffee out. “Drinking bitter coffee and letting yourself become more bitter over the she-devil?” She turns and leans against the counter, arms crossed over her chest and Maddie’s mug hanging from the handle on her index finger. “It’s not like you.”

“Well, a lot of things aren’t like me. Like not going to work and spending all day watching daytime dramas. I don’t even like daytime dramas.”

“Don’t knock it, Mads,” Jack says, hand over his heart. “I for one am very invested in the bold and the beautiful—after all, I’m both bold and beautiful, don’t you agree?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Maddie laughs, rolling her eyes. “You’re a regular Prince Charming, Jack.” 

“I’m gone for half a day and I come back to you flirting with my brother?” comes a voice down the hall and the sound of keys being tossed into a bowl, announcing Lizzie’s arrival. “What has the world come to?” she asks as she steps into view, first pressing a quick kiss to Maddie’s lips before hugging Sophie and Jack. 

“I admit it,” Maddie jokes, grinning when Hamlet gets off his bed, stretches, and pads slowly over, sticking his head in Maddie’s lap. “It was a surprise to me too.”

“Surprise?” Jack exclaims, mouth dropping open. “Madeline, you and I were always meant to be.” 

“You’re right, if only you were four years older and less beautiful. It could’ve been a match made in heaven.” 

“Way to aim for a man’s heart, Mads,” Jack sighs, keeping a stoic expression even as Sophie chortles away. Lizzie shrugs off her jacket and tosses it into Jack’s face.

“Stop flirting with my wife, dork,” she says, eyes narrowed. “And Maddie, stop encouraging him.” 

“Oh, but we’re meant to be, Liz,” Maddie laughs, “would you really get in the way of love?” 

“Yeah, yeah, laugh it up. Pick on me, that’s fine,” Lizzie mutters, unable to help the smile that forms on her lips. 

(It’s a startlingly normal moment. Maddie and Jack are teasing Lizzie like always. Sophie makes sure to throw in her own joke like always. 

It’s almost easy to forget that Sophie’s hands are shaking as she pours Maddie a fresh cup of coffee, that Jack never strays too far when Maddie gets up to grab Hamlet a snack, that Lizzie watches apprehensively—as if waiting for something, a shoe to drop.

It’s a normal moment. And Maddie breathes it in, wants to keep it as long as possible.

It’s likely why she speaks up.) 

“I have a story,” she announces to the others, feeling a little shaky on her feet, not minding when Jack subtly takes her by the elbow and leads her back to the table. “Want to hear it?” 

“I do, but I better be in this one,” Sophie says, raising her eyebrows. 

“I was promised dinner, so I’m in,” Jack adds with a shrug. “I’m not going anywhere till I’ve been fed.” 

Lizzie helps Maddie sit down, pressing a lingering kiss to her temple. 

“I want to hear everything you have to say, Madeline,” she says softly, eyes crinkling as she smiles. 

And in that moment, Maddie feels a little bit warmer as she looks at her friends, and swears she falls just a bit more in love with her wife. 

XxX

She’s busy polishing boots when she hears stomping from the stairs and Ser Evie enters the armory with her hair pointing in every direction, sweat beading on her forehead, and her chest heaving. 

“Prince Jack has fallen in love!” she cries excitedly, shoving past Maddie roughly, and grabbing Ser Fredericks by the shoulders and shaking him. “Do you know what this means?” 

“Weeks of celebration with lots and lots of mead?” Fredericks says hopefully, shifting in his chair. Maddie doesn’t think she’s ever actually seen him get off the chair, though she’s heard the stories of his incredible, heroic past—how he was born a peasant but was knighted because he saved the King’s life, how at only eighteen, he’d led the King’s army into glorious battle and emerged victorious. No one mentions that at a certain point war and rank seemed to pale in comparison to a good bottle of mead. 

Though, as an overworked, underappreciated squire, Maddie can see the appeal of a good bottle of mead. 

“Stop fooling around,” Evie snaps at Fredericks, glaring at him as he shifts again in his chair, clearly feeling off-balanced. “This is serious.”

Fredericks doesn’t look very serious—in fact, he seems terribly amused.

“And why is that exactly, Ser Evie?” he asks, stroking his beard. Maddie nearly gags when he finds some pheasant still stuck in it from lunch and pops it into his mouth with a giddy expression. “Is it because you think with Jack out of the way you can finally win Princess Elizabeth’s heart?” He laughs heartily at his own joke, clearly finding himself outrageously humorous. “Somehow I doubt Prince Jack will cease being a protective younger brother just because he’s fallen in love.”  

“He’s distracted,” Evie huffs, tossing her cloak in Maddie’s general direction, followed by her boots and arm braces, not looking to see the spectacular balancing act Maddie pulls off in order to catch all the items. Maddie’s so busy congratulating herself on not looking stupid that she doesn’t notice the sword and scabbard coming her way—the hilt of the sword rams hard into Maddie’s hip, the shock of pain causing her to drop the items in her arms, and she curses under her breath as both Evie and Fredericks deign to look over at her, the former with disgust and the latter with poorly concealed mirth. “Can you carry out your duties in a more silent manner?” Evie snaps, giving Maddie a glare for good measure before turning her attention back to Fredericks. “My point is that Elizabeth will have more time to herself—time she could be spending with me, a knight of her father’s court.” 

“Princess Elizabeth,” Maddie mumbles as she gathers Evie’s things once more. She leaves the armory just as Evie launches into the story the other knights and squires have heard hundreds of times before: Evie was there for Elizabeth after the Queen died, Evie soothed Elizabeth’s fears and wiped away her tears, Evie was the one who got her to smile again.

It’s the reason she was knighted—the King had taken one look at the smile on Elizabeth’s lips, a smile that had not graced the kingdom for two winters, and had immediately proclaimed that the one who elicited it was to be rewarded in any which way they chose. Evie chose knighthood, “to better serve the kingdom and the Princess” and of course, it had been the talk of court for months. 

Elizabeth and her knight in shining armor, Evie, are meant to be—everyone knows it, from the cooks to the handmaidens to the measly squire who huffs her hair out of her eyes as she lugs Evie’s things to her quarters. 

Maddie doesn’t know the princess, doesn’t care to know her, but she feels a bit sorry for her. After all, Maddie wouldn’t wish Evie on her worst enemy, let alone the well-loved princess. 

“You look like you’re about to topple over,” Ser Sophie says, falling into step next to Maddie, grinning as she walks, one hand on the pommel of her sword, the other hidden beneath her cloak. 

“You could always help,” Maddie points out, and though Sophie makes a big show of struggling and huffing, she does eventually grab the sword that’s slipping out of Maddie’s hands. 

“You’re in a worse mood than usual,” Sophie says conversationally as they cross the courtyard, Evie’s sword scabbard dragging along the ground between them, Sophie clearly not caring about her fellow knight’s property, “does this mean Ser Evie has already bragged about her plans to woo the good Princess?” 

“In detail, unfortunately,” Maddie says, grinning when that gets a loud laugh from Sophie. 

(She’s always liked Sophie—liked the humor, liked the long, dark hair that’s always braided, liked the fact that she’s always cool under pressure, and the fact that her nose is slightly crooked from the time Fredericks accidentally broke it, liked the fact that even on a day as warm as this one, Sophie seems unaffected and comfortable in her chainmail and leather.  

She especially likes the fact that Sophie has been kind, from the day they met, expecting absolutely nothing in return.) 

“How about I cheer you up and buy you a few drinks at the tavern when you’re done polishing Evie’s boots?” 

“You only want me there because I keep you out of trouble,” Maddie says with a roll of her eyes. “And if I polish Evie’s boots any more than I have, she’ll give Narcissus a run for his money.”

“Don’t be so bitter, Madeline. Look on the bright side, if Evie marries the good Princess, she’ll be out of our hair forever. And you may finally be knighted.” She emphasizes her point with a pat on Maddie’s shoulder, but she underestimates her own strength and the weight of her armor, because the pat nearly sends Maddie sprawling to the ground. 

“That’s a good point,” Maddie muses as she pulls herself up. “Though I don’t need to be knighted, I’ll be happy with just not seeing Evie every single day.” They finally reach Evie’s quarters as she finishes her comment, and she misses Sophie’s contemplative look as she throws the door open and lugs Evie’s things into her room, setting them up for the following morning when Maddie would have to get up at the crack of dawn to help Evie get dressed. 

“Come on,” Sophie says cheerfully as Maddie takes one last look at Evie’s quarters, wanting to make sure nothing is out of place, “I owe you a drink.” 

“You owe me more than one,” Maddie says with a laugh, dodging the lighthearted punch Sophie sends her way. 

“Let’s go, O Brave Squire. You’ve earned yourself a break.”

x

They don’t get their break.

By the time they make their way to the nearest tavern, Sophie is summoned to the palace “on urgent business” along with every other knight and squire within fifty miles of the palace. Left with nothing to do with herself, Maddie pulls her cloak tighter around herself, dons the hood, and sets out for beyond the city walls. 

Before becoming a squire, she rarely spent any time at all outside the city walls, she had no reason to. Everything she wanted, her family, her home, her friends, were within the safety of the city, nestled right outside the sprawling palace grounds. But then the sickness came, everything she loved was lost (gone, along with the Queen), and Maddie became a squire and took to hiding out in the woods beyond the city.

For a moment to breathe. For a break, for a chance to lay on her back and stare up at the sky and dream of leaving and never looking back.

It’s become somewhat of a habit now. Any free moment, any moment that was hers and hers entirely, she drops everything, pulls up the hood of her cloak, and disappears into the trees. Always, it’s very quiet and still, giving her a chance to complain under her breath about Evie, not worrying about being overheard. 

(It’s the solitude, she thinks. She just craves it. 

She’s almost glad of the urgent business that allows her to do this instead of spending the night at the tavern.) 

And for a moment, barely a second or two really, she gets that silence and solitude she so craves, before she’s rudely interrupted by a grunt, a mumbled curse, and then a heavy sigh. Maddie pulls out the dagger she hides at her belt, presses her back against the nearest tree, and peers towards the source of the sound, the ragged breathing, the fairly aggressive footsteps.

“Come on, Hamlet,” says a surprisingly gentle and pretty voice, though its owner is clearly harried and stressed, “we need to go.”

Maddie takes a small step, making sure to still have her back against the tree, and she cranes her head. Several feet away, only partially obscured by the trees, is a girl. Not any girl, but the most beautiful girl Maddie has ever set eyes on: her long blonde hair almost looks white in the moonlight, her lips curved into a tiny smile despite the furrow of her brow every time she’s unable to tug Hamlet—a massive, black horse—any further. 

Maddie doesn’t need the royal insignia on the horse’s saddle or the beautiful, expensive dress the girl is wearing to immediately recognize exactly who has stumbled in on her moment of peace and quiet.

The Princess, Elizabeth herself. 

(Now, Maddie is nothing but a lowly squire, but she’s been lucky enough to catch a glimpse of the princess thrice before. First, soon after she became a squire, she’d quite literally run into the princess, both of them tumbling to the ground. She’d gotten quite an earful from Evie that day, and soon after, Evie was knighted. The second time, it was from a distance during the ceremony knighting the newest members of the King’s court. And the last time was merely weeks ago, from across the courtyard, somehow managing to earn a tiny smile and a small wave before Princess Elizabeth was swept away by one of her attendants. 

Every time, seeing the princess in person had been heart stopping. This time is no different.)

Without really thinking about it, Maddie slides her knife back in its sheath then puts her hands up in a non-threatening gesture, and approaches the princess. 

“I’m so sorry—” Maddie tries, immediately cut off by the neighing of the horse, who then pulls back on its hind legs, shocking the princess into letting go of the reins. 

What happens next goes by so quickly that Maddie would later be sure she’d hallucinated the whole thing. One minute, the princess looks up at her horse in horror, clearly sure she’s about to be trampled, and the next, Maddie has tackled the princess to the ground, rolling them a safe distance away, ending up straddling the other girl, arms braced on either side of her head.

“Are you all right?”

“Get off me,” the princess shouts, managing to land a remarkably precise blow onto Maddie’s face as they scramble about. She stumbles off the princess, tasting blood, but ignores the pain radiating from the right side of her face and instead stumbles over to the horse, urging it to calm down.

“I’m so sorry,” Maddie says as Hamlet lets out an aggressive breath, but allows Maddie to rub his neck. “I didn’t mean to frighten either one of you.” She turns to look at the princess, making sure to keep her eyes averted. “I’m so sorry for knocking you down, Princess.” 

She chances a single look at the princess’ face, watching as she casts her eyes up and down, pausing briefly on the insignia on her bag. 

“You’re from the palace,” the princess finally says, a bit tonelessly, as she gets to her feet and shakes off the leaves stuck to her dress and hair. “You’re new. But you found me rather quickly, so you must not be useless. What’s your name, knight?”

“I’m sorry, what?”

This makes the princess blink and even share a look with her horse, shockingly enough letting out whinny and shaking its head—as if it is disappointed with Maddie. “You don’t know what names are?”

“I think you’ve got it wrong, Princess,” Maddie says quickly, finally catching on to the fact that there’s quite a bit going on in the palace she’s clearly not privy to. “I’m not a knight. I’m just a squire. And I, um, wasn’t looking for you. In fact, technically, you found me.” 

The princess eyes her suspiciously. “You’re not a knight?” she questions, as if she doesn’t really want to believe it.

“No, Princess.”

“And you weren’t sent by my brother to look for me?”

“No, Princess. I didn’t know you were even in need of finding.” 

“So if I just...got on Hamlet and left. You’d what? Let me?”

It’s Maddie’s turn to blink. “It’s not really my place to let you do anything, Princess. I wouldn’t try to stop you, if that’s what you’re asking. If anything, I’d just follow you.”

“Follow me?”

“Of course, your highness. There’s no honor in watching the princess venture out into the woods on her own. I’d accompany you at the very least.” 

This response is not what the princess was expecting, because her eyes widen a bit, and she steps forward, close enough that she tugs the horse’s reins out of Maddie’s hands. “And if I told you I want to leave and never come back? Would you still follow me then?” 

Maddie doesn’t hesitate. “Yes, Princess.” 

“Interesting,” the princess mumbles, head slightly tilted to the side as she studies Maddie. There’s a beat, then she bends a bit at the knees, ducking to catch Maddie’s gaze. “I know you,” she says slowly. “You’re the squire Evie hates so much.” Maddie swallows, unable to speak when the princess’ brown eyes—her beautiful brown eyes—are so focused on her. “Madeline, right?” 

“I’m honored that the princess knows who I am,” Maddie mumbles, breaking eye contact. This, for whatever reason, makes the princess chuckle, and she basically takes Maddie’s breath away when she pats her on the shoulder. 

“Don’t be silly.” She looks like she’s about to say more, but at that moment, they both turn their heads at the sound of pounding hooves and shouts of ‘Princess!’ coming from the distance. “Ah, well. I suppose they’ve found me. Thanks to you, really,” she adds, narrowing her eyes at her horse playfully. She lets the horse press its muzzle to her cheek in an apparent apology, letting out a soft laugh, then tugs on the reins, pulling the horse back in the direction of the palace. She pauses after a few feet, and looks back at Maddie. “I have a feeling we’ll see much more of each other, Madeline,” she says. “So please, stop with all the princess nonsense. It’s just Lizzie to you.” 

She doesn’t wait for a response, which is a good thing. It takes nearly a quarter of an hour before Maddie can even move again, unrooting herself with a tiny smile and a whispered Lizzie. 

x

Soon enough, Maddie becomes rather sure she imagined the whole interaction with the princess. 

Days pass by with no indication she even ran into the jewel of the royal family. No one glares at her accusingly for tackling the princess to the hard forest floor, no one comments on the way she goes about her work for Evie without a single complaint (too full of some sort of rush from the princess’ order to call her Lizzie), no one even mentions the awful black eye Maddie is sporting. 

(In fact, it’s the black eye—and the view of it she gets every time she polishes Evie’s armor—that gives her a bit of hope that she isn’t crazy. The pain is a reminder that, yes, she did meet Elizabeth, and yes, the princess knew her name.)

But, enough days pass that Maddie—deflating all at once—finally begins to accept that she’d gotten her hopes up, had thought there was more to Princess Elizabeth’s ‘we’ll see more of each other’ comment than there actually was, and finds herself accepting she isn’t going to be seeing the princess at all.

And, just as soon as the thought enters her head, she runs into the princess, nearly knocking them both to the ground.

“I’m starting to think this is just how you say hello,” Elizabeth tells her, letting out a laugh as Maddie struggles between wanting to help balance the princess and not wanting to offend her by touching her without permission (again). 

“I’m so sorry, Princess, I—”

“—thought we agreed it was just Lizzie,” Elizabeth finishes for her, raising an eyebrow when Maddie gathers the courage to look straight at her instead of a point above her head. 

“Well, agreed may be somewhat of a stretch,” Maddie says without thinking, horrified when the words register with her brain, her hand coming up and covering her mouth. “Sorry, I just meant—”

“—look. I want you to pretend I’m one of your friends,” Elizabeth says, reaching out and curling her fingers around Maddie’s wrist, tugging her hand away from her mouth. “Then, soon enough, you won’t be pretending.”

Maddie takes in a deep breath, shaking her head. “Are you sure you want to be friends with me, Pri—Lizzie,” she corrects, a little blinded by the grin Elizabeth shoots her at her correction. 

“I think the real question is if you’d even want to be friends with me,” she says after a moment, tugging on Maddie’s hand gently, pulling her towards the palace. “You see, I told my brother about our run in, and he insists on speaking with you.”

“Am I in trouble?” Maddie asks worriedly, swallowing hard as they walk through the entrance hall and towards the throne room. 

(It’s common knowledge that the King is king only in name, that he has been since his wife died years ago. All official business was up to the King, but the day to day managing of the kingdom?

That’s been left to Jack and Elizabeth for as long as Maddie can remember.)

“Trouble? No, I don’t think so,” Elizabeth says, the answer not inspiring much confidence even as she pushes the doors to the throne room wide open. Maddie pauses, unable to help it, her eyes drawn to the red and gold rugs and banners, the ornate table where the royal family took their meals, the massive throne itself—situated on a dais at the very end of the hall. “Come on, Madeline,” Elizabeth tells her softly, shifting her grip from Maddie’s wrist to her elbow, and gently pulling her forward.

Maddie’s heart pounds quickly and loudly in her chest, giving rise to the sudden, stupid thought that she was quite close to passing out in front of the royal family, but before she can voice her fears to Elizabeth, her brother Jack gets up from where he’s seated at the table, making quick strides towards the two of them.

“Ah! My lovely, adventuring sister and her rescuer arrive!”

“Rescuer?” Maddie mumbles.

Elizabeth elbows her a bit, actually winking when Maddie turns to her. “I may have embellished the story about our meeting. Leave the talking to me, yeah?” she adds in a whisper before turning to her brother with a wide smile. “Jack, we agreed you wouldn’t be too effusive with your praise, you’re going to make the poor girl uncomfortable.” 

“I’m sorry, you’re absolutely right,” Jack says, coming to a stop as he reaches them, grabbing Maddie by the shoulder before she has a chance to bow. “None of that, not for you. The woman who saved my sister’s life doesn’t bow to anyone.” 

“Sorry?” Maddie asked, unable to help it. Elizabeth, from over Jack’s shoulder, made a face at Maddie, even going as far as sticking her tongue out.

“Oh, don’t be silly, Madeline,” Elizabeth said, refocusing her brother’s attention on her. “She’s such a joker, pretending she doesn’t remember saving me after Hamlet got spooked by a snake. The way she raced into the woods after us...it was quite brave.”

Maddie, who was there and knows this is not true, keeps her mouth shut, giving Elizabeth and Jack a tight smile when they both turn to her. 

“My sister has tried to run away four times,” Jack tells Maddie slowly, and Maddie mentally corrects him, thinking five times, actually. “It was a relief, to say the least, that this latest...outing...was not planned.” He lets out a sigh, bracing his hands on either side of his waist, tilting his head back. “After your service to our family, the appropriate thing would be to offer you a reward, not ask more of you. But I am busy preparing for my wedding, and Lizzie seems to have taken a liking to you, so I would be grateful if you allow me to delay your knighthood and instead act as a companion for my sister after her traumatic experience.”

“What my little brother means,” Elizabeth says cheerfully, “is that he wants you to babysit me, because he can’t right now.” 

“No,” Jack says, shaking his head and looking at Maddie seriously, as if needing her to believe him. “My sister doesn’t need a babysitter. She’s to be Queen. What she needs is protection from, well, undesirable presences.” 

“He’s talking about Evie,” Elizabeth explains helpfully, confusing Maddie with the lack of argument on her end. It’s almost as if she wants a babysitter. 

Jack turns to his sister, hands in his hair now. “Lizzie, you know she—”

“—I’m really sorry, but is this something I should be privy to? I’m just, you know, a squire.” 

“No, you’re right,” Jack says, as if coming to himself all at once. “The reasons don’t matter. So? Can I count on you?” he asks, waiting for Maddie’s nod before letting out a little sigh of relief. “Good, good. Excellent,” he says, more to himself than to Maddie. 

And later, long after he’s gone, after one of Elizabeth’s handmaidens has shown Maddie her new quarters (right next to the princess’) and laid out new clothes, Elizabeth confesses why she didn’t put up an argument, why she merely went along with Jack’s request, the real reason she wants Maddie around:

“You’re going to help me run away a sixth time.” 

x

Elizabeth lays under the shade of a tree several days later, head pillowed by Maddie’s leg, a book abandoned on her chest.

“We should talk about it,” Maddie says, breaking the silence. It being Elizabeth’s desire to run away and use Maddie to do it, something she’s been mum about since her confession. Instead, she’d busied their days with fitting Maddie in nicer clothes, dragging her to lessons, even having her teach the little she knew about swinging a sword. 

Elizabeth sighs, but she doesn’t move, and Maddie resists the urge to smooth back the princess’ hair, to trace a finger from her brow to her hairline. “I don’t want to be Queen.”

“Then why don’t you just say so?”

“It’s not something you just don’t accept,” she says, and she turns her head, the tip of her nose pressed against Maddie’s knee. “Don’t tell me you’re getting cold feet, I thought you said you’d follow me anywhere.”

“Yes, follow you anywhere. But I won’t help you run away if I don’t even know why.”

This makes Elizabeth sit up, book falling onto the grass and opening to a random page, twisting to look at Maddie with narrowed eyes. “You can’t talk like that, you know, I am the princess.”

“You told me to pretend you’re my friend. That’s how I’d talk to my friends,” Maddie informs her, wishing she didn’t miss Elizabeth’s warmth already. To her surprise, this response makes Elizabeth smile. 

“I’d have to get married if I wanted to be Queen. And I don’t want to get married.”

“Why? It’s not as if you’ve got any shortage of suitors.” Maddie sighs as she spots one of them in the distance. “Look. Here comes one now.” She starts to get up, to give Elizabeth privacy, but before she can, there’s a hand on hers, holding on tightly.

“Stay,” Elizabeth requests softly, and Maddie settles back down, powerless to say no, and realizing with a start she doesn’t want to say no. 

(She stays, enduring Evie’s glares and dirty looks.

She stays, knowing Evie will get her payback later.

She stays, and it’s worth it, because Elizabeth has tangled their fingers together, and doesn’t seem keen on letting go any time soon.)

x

“If you run away, where will you go?” Maddie asks several days later.

“I don’t know, I’ve never thought about it.”

“Do you think you’ll miss your brother? Your home? Your people?”

“I’ve tried not to think about that.”

“What if you fall in love? Will you marry then and take the crown?”

“I’m not worried about me falling in love, Madeline. My issue is how will I ever know if the person I love loves me for me and not for what they can get from me?”  

“Well,” Maddie jokes, “I guess you could always just ask them to run away with you and see what they say.”

x

As the weeks go on, Maddie learns quite a bit about the princess. 

For one, she never eats breakfast, claiming that she’d rather start her day with several cups of tea. For another, Elizabeth hates the long, flowy dresses that she and the other women of court have to wear, and has—with increasing frequency—donned the pants and billowy shirts that Maddie prefers. But most importantly, Maddie learns that Elizabeth loves the library and spends nearly all her time there. 

And it’s unbearably boring. 

She rocks her chair back, feet on the table, staring at the ceiling with her hands folded over her stomach, dangerously close to dozing off when Elizabeth speaks up.

“I’m not interested in Evie, you know,” she says, shocking Maddie enough that she drops her chair back down too quickly, legs falling to the floor with a thud that sounds impossibly loud in the quiet of the library. 

“Oh,” Maddie says stupidly, not quite sure what else to say. The thing is, it’s complicated.

She likes Elizabeth. Perhaps more than she should, definitely more than is appropriate. She knows, without a doubt, her feelings will not be returned (they can’t be, she’s a squire and Elizabeth is a princess). More importantly, Elizabeth’s feelings for Evie are absolutely none of her business. Except...well, except that Maddie doesn’t dislike many people but she absolutely dislikes Evie and there’s no doubt in her mind that Evie is incredibly wrong for Elizabeth. 

(There is the unhelpful part of her that, head-bowed, quietly suggests maybe there is someone else more— 

More right.)

But again, it’s none of her business.

“My brother doesn’t like her either, don’t worry. But Evie...she was there. She was there when I was—”

“—you don’t have to tell me this.”

“I know. I want to,” Elizabeth says, closing her book with a resounding snap, shifting in her chair enough that they’re staring directly at each other. Maddie tries her best not to let her pleasure at those three words show on her expression, but she thinks, judging by Elizabeth’s smile, she’s not quite successful. “Evie saved me,” she continues, letting out a deep breath. “And ever since then, it’s like...she just wants to keep doing the saving. She wants to swoop in, to be my knight in shining armor.”

“That’s romantic,” Maddie says, not believing it, and hating that she’s defending Evie when all she wants to do is agree with Elizabeth and tell her that Evie isn’t worth her time. 

Elizabeth gives Maddie a look that clearly says she knows exactly what Maddie is thinking. “I don’t want a knight in shining armor, Madeline. I don’t want someone who wants to come and save my day. I just….”

“Just?” Maddie prods, literally on the edge of her seat, waiting for Elizabeth to finish her sentence.

“Perhaps this is silly, but I just want someone who just wants to be. To sit with me in the dry, boring moments. Someone who just wants to be with me. Someone like—” She cuts herself off, clears her throat and shakes her head. “Well, it doesn’t matter. You and I are running away after all.”

“I haven’t agreed to that, actually,” Maddie says absentmindedly, trying to calm her racing heart. For a moment, just a second, she’d thought Elizabeth was about to...well, it doesn’t matter. 

Elizabeth reaches out, fingers circling around one of Maddie’s wrists. “But if I tried to leave?”

“I’d follow you,” Maddie says easily, with no hesitation at all. “If only to keep you out of trouble.”  

Elizabeth smiles, her eyes soft. “Now see. That’s what I mean.” 

x

The wedding is only days away when Maddie bursts into Elizabeth’s rooms, laden with bags. Her dramatic entrance isn’t quite given the reaction she’s looking for, only causing Elizabeth to look up from the letter she’s writing and eye Maddie with amusement. “Lost, Madeline?” she asks, eyes flicking from Maddie’s face to all the bags. 

“I’ve thought about it and thought about it and thought about it, and I realized...why am I thinking about it at all?” Maddie says, dropping the bags and approaching Elizabeth, dropping to her knees in front of her.

“What are we talking about?”

“You wanting to run away.” Maddie holds out a hand, palm up, trying not to smile when Elizabeth takes it almost immediately. “I kept wanting to know why but it doesn’t matter. If you want to go, you should be able to go. So I made a plan.”

Elizabeth blinks. “You made a plan?” she repeats, almost dazedly.

“I gathered supplies,” she gestures towards the bags, “got Sophie’s help with distracting guards at the gates so no one can warn your brother or the knights, even trained Hamlet not to freak out in the woods—”

“—is that where you’ve been going in the afternoons lately?” Elizabeth interrupts, but Maddie is on a roll.

“So just say the word. If you want to go, we go. I’ve sent letters ahead to friends, so we’ll have someplace to go, or we can just travel and explore. Or if you want to stay, get married to Evie,” here she physically has to keep herself from gagging, “I can help with that too. I can talk with her about being less intense maybe or—”

“—you’re such an idiot, Madeline,” Elizabeth breathes out, and that’s all the warning Maddie gets before Elizabeth is leaning forward, hands cupping Maddie’s face, and kisses her. “The only thing I want,” she says softly as she pulls away, and Maddie is quite shocked she’s still able to speak when she’s just taken Maddie’s breath away, “is you. Wasn’t that obvious?”

“It is now,” Maddie manages to say, and this time, she’s the one who closes the distance between them, bags and plans and thoughts of running away all forgotten. 

XxX

“And in the end,” Maddie finishes, gesticulating wildly with her hands, “the princess marries the squire and doesn’t spare the dumb knight a single thought ever again.” 

Silence follows her words, Lizzie’s hand rubbing a gentle pattern into her back while Sophie and Jack merely blink at her for a moment.

“That was fantastic,” Jack finally says, struggling not to smile. “I’m actually a little shocked Evie didn’t find herself stuck in a well or something for all time, cursed forever.”

“That’s the sequel,” Maddie says, allowing Lizzie to burrow her face into her neck, running her fingers through her wife’s hair. “Part two coming soon.”

Sophie lets out a loud snort, getting to her feet and stretching. “Well, I think it’s adorable that the two of you write fanfiction about your own lives,” she says brightly, smiling to ensure there’s no bite to her words. “I for one am just glad to be included, in all fairness. Maybe a bit more next time, though. My part was tragically small.”

“They’re love stories, Soph, you’re not supposed to be involved,” Lizzie mumbles from where her face is still pressed against Maddie’s neck. Both Jack and Sophie protest jokingly at that, carrying the faux outrage even as they gather their things and wave goodbye to leave. 

When they’re alone, Lizzie pulls away and smooths back Maddie’s hair, pressing a light kiss to her forehead and lingering there.

“I’d always choose you, you know,” she whispers, ducking her head so that their foreheads are pressed together. “In this life or any other. No one else comes close.” 

(It’s sweet and nice and Maddie likes to hear the way Lizzie’s mouth curls over the words, the way she lingers on choose and you. Maddie likes the way that Lizzie knows to reassure her without knowing about Evie’s call or Maddie’s annoyance. 

She likes that Lizzie knows her.)

“But it’s nice to know you’ve got a backup, huh?” Maddie jokes, lacing her fingers between Lizzie’s, unable to help her smile when Lizzie uses her free hand to hook a finger through a belt loop and tug Maddie closer. “In case things between us don’t work out?”

“Well, it never hurts to be prepared,” Lizzie says with a laugh, her free hand now at Maddie’s chin, thumb brushing her jawline. Her expression turns serious. “You know I love you, right? Just you.” 

“Gasp! What about Hamlet and Macbeth?” 

“Madeline,” Lizzie stresses, her hand moving to the back of Maddie’s neck, thumb now brushing under her ear. “I’m being serious.” 

Maddie drops her head onto Lizzie’s shoulder, sighing into the feeling of her wife’s hand in her own, the other lightly massaging the back of her neck. 

“I know. In this life or any other, I’d choose you too.” She pauses, pressing her free hand to Lizzie’s back, running her fingers up Lizzie’s spine slowly. “Though, my backup is Jack. I think you need to know.” 

Lizzie pulls away with a start as Maddie laughs.

“Come on, Maddie, way to ruin the moment.”

“No! Come back!” Maddie cries between her laughter, watching as Lizzie huffs indignantly and grabs Hamlet’s leash, causing the dog to begin trotting around the kitchen excitedly. “Don’t go! Don’t take the children because of this,” she adds, kneeling down and hugging Hamlet lightly, grimacing and giggling when he manages to lick the entire right side of her face. 

And Lizzie, seemingly unable to help it, laughs along. 

[what-is-your-plan-today]

CSI: Rogers and Barnes- The Serious Cereal Serial Killer

Episode 1- Walk of Shame

Co written with @icanfeelastormbrewing​

Episode Summary: Someone’s dead. Bucky has some plums and despairs at Steve’s choice of breakfast. They go to DC to try and convince Katie to come back and help with the case but she aint having it…coz she hates Steve’s guts… Episode Warnings: Bad Language words. Dark Comedy themes basically CSI:NY + Brooklyn 99 = CSI: Steeb.

Episode Pairings:  Steve Rogers x OFC Katie Stark (yeah she still doesn’t like him this Episode…)

Song for Episode:  Let Her Go by Passenger 

A/N: Contains Avengers and Stark Spangled Banner Easter Eggs and jokes. You don’t need to have read that series to understand or enjoy this, but we’ve used the Universe to spin this off from.

Also, our knowledge of American Policing and Brooklyn is limited, so bear with us if we slip up, but at the end of the day this is a fiction so we’ll claim any mistakes as creative license!!

PLEASE REBLOG and COMMENT! 

Tags are open. 

CSI Rogers and Barnes Master List 

Main Masterlist 

Steve turned the key in the lock of his apartment, stepped inside and closed the door behind him as slowly and quietly as possible so as not to wake up Bucky. It was still quite early, he had been on the usual morning run with Sam, something that the men did daily during the week unless work cases got in the way. He walked through the hallway and tossed his keys on the kitchen counter before grabbing a water bottle from the fridge. He practically drained it in one before he set a fresh pot of coffee to brew and then headed for the shower. He stopped on his way down the corridor as he saw the door to the spare bedroom, now Bucky’s, was wide open. Steve peered into the bedroom but there was no trace of Bucky and his bed was perfectly made, cushions in place. He sighed and went into his own bedroom, taking off his clothes and trainers and heading into the en-suite. He turned on the shower and stepped under the warm spray, tilting his head to greet the water as it cascaded down on him.

Bucky had returned from an undercover mission in Russia almost 7 months ago and had immediately taken possession of the spare room in Steve’s apartment. What had started as a favour to a friend who had returned from a long term mission overseas and was trying now to re-settle in New York, had turned into Steve seemingly permanently (and reluctantly for that matter) sharing his flat with his lead Sergeant and sometimes annoying friend. Their personalities were as opposed as day and night, but there was a bond between them that went back to their teenage years and both secretly hoped it would last till the end of the line.

Rinsing off his hair he turned off the shower and stepped out. He gave his hair a quick rub over and then, wrapping a towel round his waist he headed into the bedroom and over to the dresser which stood against the wall by the foot of his bed. His eyes fell to the framed photo on the top of it and he blew out a little huff as 2 laughing faces greeted him back. It was a photo of him and Katie, a selfie that she had snapped whilst they had been in Central Park. Katie had positioned them to get a squirrel in the back ground and it had worked. Just as Katie had pushed the button the squirrel had looked directly at the camera from behind them and it had sent the pair of them into a fit of laugher. Up until Bucky moving in, this photo had been in his living room by the stereo. But now it stayed in the private of his room. He couldn’t bring himself to place it in a drawer. 

He dressed in a pair of dark jeans and a white t-shirt, before grabbing his electric razor to sort his facial hair out, ensuring his once again present (albeit shorter than before) beard was clean, crisp and defined. Once he had finished the rest of his morning routine he made his way to the kitchen and poured himself freshly brewed coffee into his favoured breakfast mug, one that was adored with the words “O Captain! My Captain!” a quote from the poem by Walt Whitman as read by Robin Williams in “Dead Poet Society” one of his favourite films. It had been a joke gift from Katie when he had gotten his promotion, just another reminder of how good their friendship used to be. He had just grabbed a piece of left over pizza from the fridge when the front door open and he heard Bucky taking off his shoes as he muttered something under his breath. When Bucky entered the kitchen Steve was leaning on the kitchen counter sipping from his mug and looking at his friend from under his long eyelashes.

 “That your breakfast?“ Steve asked nodding towards a brown paper bag Bucky was sporting.

"Yup. That yours?” he answered looking at the pizza in Steve’s hand Steve shrugged. “Man, have a plum instead” Bucky offered.

 "No, thanks.“ Steve refused curtly.

"You know breakfast is the most important meal of the day, don’t you?” Bucky quipped, biting into a plum. “That nutrition program you took years ago clearly didn’t teach you shit” he snorted.

“You’re hilarious" Steve deadpanned. “Where did you sleep last night? Or should that be with WHOM did you sleep last night?” Steve was asking both out of curiosity and as a way to distract attention from his eating habits. “What’s the dame’s name this time? That’s if you even bothered to ask.”

Bucky rolled his eyes as Steve drained his mug. “Name’s Alex seeing as you’re that interested, granddad.” Bucky informed. Steve merely arched an eyebrow and shoved his now empty mug in the dishwasher.

“I’m impressed” Steve said, walking out of the kitchen and heading to the living room “Have you remembered what Miss Friday was called yet?” “Maybe I always knew full well but didn’t want to tell you as you’re a judgemental dick.” Bucky shot back, following him into the living room “Just because you’re not getting any.”

Steve snorted and shook his head “I really don’t care about the fact you seem to be working your way through the entire female population of New York…” “Admit it, you’re backed up.” Bucky said, looking at him and Steve rolled his eyes. “When was the last time you got any?”

Steve really wasn’t prepared to divulge that. It had been Christmas time, with Katie…7 months ago. And he had no desire to tell Bucky. Instead, he ignored him and looked at his watch. 

“We’re leaving in five” Steve said “Get ready Punk.”

 "I am ready, jerk" Bucky replied gesturing to his outfit.

“You’re seriously gonna got to work wearing the same clothes you were wearing yesterday?“ Steve looked at him with an expression of disgust on his face. "Talk about the walk of shame.”

“Well, yesterday was my day off so nobody at the station will know what the hell I was wearing" Bucky replied with a wide playful smile.

 "Whatever.“ Steve sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose while saying "Take your weapon and your badge and let’s go, it’s getting late.”

“Aye, Aye Captain” Bucky said miming a salute.

********

“Captain Rogers” greeted the security guard at the door of the station. “Sergeant Barnes.”

“Good morning, Heimdall” Steve greeted back while Bucky acknowledged the man with a nod of his head.

As the pair headed for the floor where the Investigation Unit of the 101st was located, Bucky pulled out his phone and started typing.

“Texting her?” Steve asked looking down at Bucky’s phone.

“Who’s her?” Bucky replied. 

“Jeez, Buck, the girl you spent last night with. Alex, was it?” Steve scoffed.

“Oh.., nah.” he said with a frown “What would I?” he continued. “And you can say bang, Steve. You’re not a medieval bard” a mischievous smile now spreading on his face.

“Bucky, I swear to God one day….” Steve started to say but was interrupted by the melodious voice of Wanda as he got out of the elevator, Bucky following him cackling.

“Good morning, Steve.” Wanda said “Coffee?” she asked looking at him with doe eyes.

“No thanks, Wanda. Already had breakfast” he replied while Bucky muttered “If that’s what you call it”. Steve turned to give an icy look to Bucky who retreated to his desk. 

“I’ve left the reports you asked for yesterday on your desk.” Wanda informed him. “Would that be all?”

“Thanks, Wanda.” he said before ordering “Assemble the team in the briefing room in fifteen.” and he walked towards where Natasha was scrolling through her phone and Clint was sat on his chair, his feet on the desk throwing a baseball against the nearby wall.

“Morning Romanoff” Steve said. Natasha lifted her eyes from the phone and acknowledged him.

“Rogers.”. She might seem to be engrossed on whatever she was doing with her phone but Steve knew she never missed a trick.

“Barton” the Captain raised his voice “You break something, you’re paying for it. We’re on a tight budget.” and with that he entered his office and shut the door behind him, something that was unusual for their Captain. His door normally remained open unless the conversation was private or he was pissed off. 

As there was no one else in there with him, it was clearly the latter.

“He needs to get laid.” Clint said, turning back to Natasha, resuming his bouncing of his baseball again. Bucky let out a snort.

“He sure does” replied Natasha who suddenly threw her phone on her desk and got up to make her way towards Wanda’s counter. 

“You should ask him out on a date” she whispered to Wanda leaning over her desk.

“Wh… What are you talking about” Wanda stuttered while closing the book she was reading and feeling the heat spread through her neck up to her cheeks.

“I’ve seen the way you look at him” Natasha added with a half-smile. 

“That obvious” Wanda enquired covering her cheeks, which were now deep red, with her hands showing Natasha her chipped black nail polish. Bucky watched the exchange with a slight smirk. 

Natasha only shrugged and retorted “Well, you should find the courage to do it in that witchery book you’re reading” she said pointing to the paperback with a movement of her head. “Scarlett Witch”.

Bucky picked up the phone, there was a message on his desk to call Stark about some evidence on a case, turning away to allow Wanda to get over her embarrassment. He heard the voice of Deputy Commissioner Fury and turned to watch as he greeted Natasha and Wanda.

 "Good morning, ladies.“

“Good morning Sir…” They both said in unison as her swept past them heading towards Steve’s office.  He rapped on the door and didn’t wait for an answer before he swung it open, causing Steve to glance up slightly puzzled. His team knew to wait for him to call them in before entering if his door was closed. At seeing his boss he immediately stood.

“Sir.”

“At ease Captain” The deputy commissioner spoke, waving his hand. Steve gestured for him to take the seat opposite his desk.

“You hear with a mission?”

“You could say that.” Fury said, “Get Barnes in here and close the door. This one’s sensitive.”

“Sir…” Steve frowned slightly and stood up, heading out into the main office.

“Buck…” 

Bucky was by this point on the phone, leaning back in his chair feet on his desk. He looked at Steve, nodding to acknowledge him, holding his hand up, finger on his right hand extended instructing Steve to keep quiet. 

“That’s great Stark!” he paused, “So it’s definitely a match…excellent, yeah…sure…thanks…”

He placed the phone down “Science Bros got a match on the bullet from the mini-mart robbery. Matches the gun Simon Cranston had in his possession when we brought him in. We got him bang to rights!”

“Good, listen, Buck…Fury’s here. Says he has a case but it’s sensitive…” Understanding immediately Bucky stood up. He smoothed down his blue and white button down and followed Steve into his office, closing the door behind him.

“We have a situation.” Fury said. “Body, found by a dog walker early hours of this morning. Early shift called it in.”

“Ok, well we’ve not held briefing yet…” Bucky said, trailing off as he saw the frown on Steve’s face.

“What is it sir?” “Technically it’s the 99s patch…” Fury said, “But as soon as Peralta realised who it was he called Holt who in turn called me. This is one for the 101st.”

“Why?” Steve asked, frowning. 

“It’s Senator Ross.” Fury said, looking at him.

“Shit.” Steve sighed

“I’m not gonna lie Steve, as much as I admire and like Holt, your unit is more geared up for this and the 99 are currently swamped on a drugs case any way so…” Fury shrugged.

“Right, I’ll get the team onto it right away.”

“Odinson and his team are currently manning the scene, I had them take over from Holt’s guys as soon as I found out.” Fury nodded “I’m sure I don’t need to remind you that we need absolute discretion about this, at least for the time being. I’ll liaise with the top brass and Capitol Hill. Once we know what we’re dealing with we can discuss how we handle the press. For now, keep them away.” “Sir.” Steve agreed. 

“I trust you can take it from here?”

Steve nodded and watched as his boss left before he turned to Bucky. “Get Romanoff and Barton down there now, and then get onto Wilson and Stark. I’ll call Holt, find out the details and sort out taking over. Then we’ll head down there.”

“Sure.” Bucky said, heading out into the office, closing the door behind him.

Steve paused for a second, before he picked up the phone sighing. A murder always attracted attention but when it was a public figure that interest was going to be relentless.

*****

It was almost ten when Steve pulled his car to a stop near Greenway Terrace in Brooklyn Bridge Park. Bucky got out of the car closing the door behind him and put his phone in the back pocket of his black jeans and waited for Steve to reach his side before they both started walking towards the tightly secured area. 

They approached Thor who was standing by the Scene Crime Do Not Cross yellow tape ordering to one of his immediate subordinates to remove unnecessary individuals from the scene and keep the tourists and the press as far away as possible. It was a bright July morning and this part of the park offered the tourists, and the public in general, a beautiful shady sitting area with stunning views to New York Harbor.

Once they exchanged a few words with Thor who assured them he would keep the press at bay, they ducked under the tape and headed to the area where Detectives Romanoff and Barton were examining the surroundings of the crime scene. 

"Romanoff, Barton. What do we got?” Bucky heard Steve ask the pair of detectives.

He was looking around trying to get used to the scene before him. He had spent the last years mostly doing undercover work, gathering intel, bringing down drugs or arms dealers and smugglers so, it had been a while since he had been in a presumed murder scene. 

“We’re sweeping the area for casings or slugs.” Natasha said. 

“Nothing, Cap, according to Wilson there’s no gunshot wound, so…” Clint added.

“Footprints? Vehicle tracks?” Steve enquired.

“No vehicle tracks. And seeing as this is a granite terrace no chance of footprints either.” Clint replied. “We are searching the area for some mud or dirt marks though." 

Steve nodded, analysing the information his detectives had delivered, his hands perched on his belt. "Any indications that the crime may have occurred somewhere else?" 

“Nope.” Natasha said “But we won’t know for certain until forensics finish.”

"All right. I want you two to investigate the surrounding neighbourhood. This took place presumably last night and there’s this hill over there that separates the area from Furman Street, so it is unlikely that we find any witnesses.” Steve elaborated.

“Got it Cap…” Clint said. “We’ll talk to the neighbours. See if anybody has seen anything suspicious.”

“Romanoff…” Steve started to say before Natasha cut in.

“We’ll visit the surrounding shops and businesses to check surveillance footage. I know the drill , Rogers.” to which Steve couldn’t help but smile.

“Ok. See you at the station when you’re done.” Steve dismissed them and looked at Bucky who was watching as the forensics assistants were taking photos of the crime scene and the corpse from every angle possible.

“Ready to see what Ross has to say?” Steve asked Bucky as he began to walk towards Sam Wilson, the unit Pathologist and Tony Stark, lead forensic who was gathering evidence.

“Didn’t know you were one for black humour, punk” Bucky replied suppressing a laugh.

“Wilson?” Steve greeted Sam. “What do you have?”

“Hi, Rogers. You prefer the cause or the manner?” Sam shot back.

“Is the order relevant?” Steve asked smiling at Sam’s playful ways.

“Not in this case.” Sam said. 

“What about the time of death?” Bucky asked.

Sam pondered about it for a few seconds before replying “I estimate it between three and five a.m.”

“What? Two hours span? Couldn’t you be more specific?” Bucky said surprised by Wilson answer.

“Where did you get this guy, Rogers?” Tony entered the exchange. “Do you want the exact hour and minute? That’s impossible unless you were here with a stopwatch!" 

"Stark.” Sam tried to shut Tony. 

“All right. Call it, Wilson” Tony said with a sigh but glaring at Bucky.

“Well, based on the corpse temperature and his body mass and taking into account muscle stiffening and blood setting, I could give you from three to four thirty in the morning, but we’ll have to wait until I’ve opened him up to be more accurate.” Sam elaborated.

“The guy is as pale as a ghost” Bucky tried to say something meaningful.

“No shit, Sherlock. It’s called palor in scientific jargon.” Tony quipped visibly annoyed at Bucky’s presence.

“That’s enough!” Steve raised his voice. “Wilson, please, continue.”

“All right. So, it looks like he was killed here. There’s enough blood on the ground and no sign that he was moved after the killing took place…the murderer knocked him down first, nasty wound on the back of the head and he took a bit of a beating too. Lots of bruising to his face.” Sam explained.

“Quite a violent MO. Rage…” Steve mused.

“Yeah. If the cereal didn’t choke him to death, the blunt force trauma did it.” Sam said looking down at the corpse. “But again, I’ll know more when…”

“Hang on, what do you mean? What cereal?” Steve cut him off while sharing a surprised look with Bucky.

“I pulled this out of his throat with a pair of tweezers.” Tony said to Steve showing him an evidence bag with what looked like some sort of breakfast cereal.

“Are those Puffed Rice?”  Bucky asked gaining a glare from Tony. Sam and Steve looked at him at the same time.

“That’s one hell of an odd calling card.” Steve whispered gazing past the other men into the river front. “What kind of message is cereal conveying?”

“Well, I think that…” Bucky was beginning to say but was interrupted by a raging Tony.

“Barnes, would you shut up? We’re trying to work here and your presence is disturbing enough without your silly comments.”

Steve wanted to warn Tony about his remarks but things were a bit rocky between them after what had happened at the Commendation party, so he let it be. 

“Thanks, Wilson. Let me know when you’re ready to do the PM.” Steve said. He always liked to attend the Post Mortems in person, if possible. It was easier to ask questions and understand as Sam worked.

“Yeah, well, cut the cheque.” Sam replied.

Steve smiled at the pathologist, who was waiting for Judge Hill’s order to remove the body and take it to the morgue, and waved both men goodbye as he ordered Bucky to follow him with a movement of his head.

“What do you think?” Steve asked him

“Well before Stark jumped in, and by the way that guy has a stick up his ass, I was about to say I think we need a profiler” Bucky replied while both men walked their way back to the car. 

Steve was quiet for a minute before saying “I know someone." 

Bucky had noticed Steve hesitation before speaking and was about to ask him who he was talking about but was interrupted by Steve’s phone ringing. So he waited patiently leaning on the car door while Steve got the call. He was scrolling through his own messages when Steve came back with a serious demeanour. 

"We’re stopping at Police Plaza. It was Pierce, he wants to meet me at headquarters.”

*******

Bucky headed into the coffee shop over the road whilst Steve was waved up to Pierce’s office.

“Captain Rogers…” Pierce greeted him. “I’m sure you can guess what this is about.” “Ross.” Steve nodded, taking a seat as Pierce nodded.

“Ross and I were at University together.” Pierce said, “So this…well, it’s kind of personal for me.” “I’m sorry to hear that sir.” Steve nodded.

“So, I want to be kept in the loop on this one. Normally I don’t take an interest in every body we find, I can’t but…”

“I understand.” Steve assured the Commissioner. 

“So, do we have a cause of death?”

“Well…” Steve scratched at his chin “We won’t know for sure until we can do the Post Mortum, which hopefully will be later today but…well, it’s odd. It was either a blow to the head or cereal.”

“Cereal?” Pierce blinked.

“Yes, Forensics recovered a quantity of the stuff in his throat. But like I say, we won’t know for sure until Dr Wilson has done his job.” Pierce sighed. “Who uses Cereal as a murder weapon?” “Well, on that…” Steve sighed. “I think we could do with a profiler.”

“Whatever you need.” Pierce said, “I’ll pull some strings, get you someone from the FBI, anything.” “With all due respect Sir…” Steve looked at him “I’d rather bring in a profiler who’s in the force…and I know just the person. But I’d like the chance to speak to them first. They won’t feel happy about simply being forced into this if that makes sense.” “I really don’t care if they’re happy or not.” Pierce said, his jaw twitching “I want the A- team on this, Rogers, no matter what.” “Absolutely, and you have my word. If they don’t agree I’ll call, then you can pull whatever strings you need.”

“Who do you have in mind?” Pierce looked at him. They continued to talk, Pierce promising to make budget available for all the overtime he needed before he headed down in the elevator, leaning back against the wall. Working a murder was always stressful as you were under so much pressure to bring the perp to justice, but with Pierce now being personally interested, the pressure was going to double. He stepped out of the cool air conditioned lobby of HQ and called Fury to run his idea passed him. Fury gave him the green light and with that he crossed the road, finding Bucky was on the phone.

“I don’t believe in co-incidences Romanoff.” he said, nodding to Steve “It could be nothing but just keep an open mind…” Steve gestured to the phone and Bucky handed it over.

“Romanoff, its Rogers.” he said,

“Hey Cap.” “Listen, I need to head out of town with Sergeant Barnes for the evening, related to this case. We’re bringing in a profiler and I need to speak to them in person. Can you liaise with Wilson and ensure either your or Clint, or both are at the PM. Usual stuff…” “Sure.” there was a pause “Who’s the profiler, anyone we know?” There was a lilt to her voice that told Steve she knew exactly who he had in mind.

“Dismissed” he said simply, ending the call and tossing the phone back to Bucky.  “What’ the coincidence?”

“Oh, erm… Ross’s real name is Paul Thaddeus Ross, he uses his middle name.” “So?” “PR��his initials, same as the cereal…puffed rice.” “That’s a bit tentative Buck” Steve said. “But good spot, we’ll bear it in mind.”

“So, you taking me on a trip?” Bucky looked at him, quirking an eyebrow.

“Yeah.

“Anywhere nice?” 

“DC.” Steve looked at him “The profiler I told you about. She lives there.” “She…oh, you’re talking about Stark…the little one?” Bucky said with a slight sigh. “You want me to drive with you to DC, to convince the woman that hates your guts to come back and work for you?” “Pretty much, yeah.” Steve nodded. “Why her man? You could bring in any profiler…” “Because she knows the team.” Steve said, “I explained this to Pierce. Getting that lot to trust an outsider to the force will be hard work and I don’t have time for Natasha pulling her grin of death shit. Profilers who are actually still active officers within the Police Service are a rare commodity and, well frankly Buck, she’s one of the best in the business.” “And you let her go…” Bucky sighed, shaking his head. “I wasn’t going to stand in the way of her taking an opportunity that was, frankly, too good to refuse.” Steve sighed. “Right.” Bucky said “and that’s all there was to it?” “Yup” Steve held his gaze as best he could. “You’re a shit liar.” Bucky grumbled, standing up “I take it we get an overnighter?” Steve smiled, knowing that was Bucky’s way of agreeing to come with him. “Yeah, we’ll stay tonight. If we leave within the hour we should be there for just before 6pm.” Steve said, checking his watch. “You’re the boss…” Bucky said, standing up “We best go grab a bag.”

Less than 30 minutes later the 2 of them were making their way out of Brooklyn, the address of the SHIELD unit building programmed into the GPS.

"So how you gonna play this?” Bucky asked, lounging back in the passenger seat of Steve’s Audi Q5. It made Bucky laugh how Steve’s newest purchase, the sleek steel grey Audi held every gadget and extra he could ever need and then some. Steve lived quite a frugal lifestyle. He had nice things, his apartment was furnished well, his clothes were a mixture of high end high street brands with the odd designer item thrown in, but he never bought what he didn’t need as such. His apartment was a total of 5 rooms including the bedrooms despite the fact he could easily afford a more grandiose place. Bucky knew that it was as a product of growing up without much, his mom had never been well off, and Steve was likely stashing most of his money for a rainy day.

But when it came to cars, Steve Rogers was happy to splurge.

The Captain shifted slightly and bit his bottom lip , his thumb rapping on the top of the steering wheel.  "I’m gonna show her the case file. Ask her opinion. See what she makes of it…and hopefully it’s gonna grab her interest enough to make her agree to come back for a while…“ "And if it fails?” Steve hesitated. He looked at Bucky who gave a groan, spotting the look on his face. “You’ll go over her head…man she’s gonna hate you even more then!” “Not sure that’s possible.” Steve sighed

*******

“Steve…” Captain Phil Coulson stood up, greeting him warmly “It’s been a while.” “Indeed it has.” Steve smiled at the man he had worked a case with a few years back, one which saw Thor’s brother, Loki, put away for a very long time. “Almost 3 years I believe.”

“Time flies when you’re having fun huh?”  Coulson smiled and Steve reciprocated.

“Sergeant, James Barnes…Captain Phil Coulson.” Steve introduced the two men. “Please, call me Bucky.”

Phil nodded and then gestured to the elevator “Shall we?”

They followed him in, their Visitors badges pinned to their chests

“So, Fury called ahead. You want Stark back?”

“In a nutshell.” Steve nodded “I can’t go into details but…we need a profiler, and this one’s already getting some high up attention. From our Commissioner no less.” “Yeah I won’t lie, I’m not happy about this.” Coulson sighed “She’s working a case on a very big Sex Trafficking ring at the moment so losing her will be a blow…”

“She is only on secondment.” Steve reminded the man “The deal was if we need her back…” “I know” Coulson assured Steve he understood, “But that doesn’t mean I have to like it.”

“Phil, I wouldn’t be doing this if I had a choice.” Steve said gently.

“That’s right, he wouldn’t. She hates him…” Bucky added. Steve shot him a glare.

Coulson frowned “Really? She’s never had anything but praise for her old team and commanding officer.” Steve felt something in his chest warm slightly.

“But of course, that could just be professional courtesy.” Coulson finished.

The warmth disappeared.

The elevator stopped and they stepped out into a large, modern, open planned office. Coulson led them through the throngs of desks, towards the right side of the room. Steve heard her before he saw her.

“I really don’t give a shit…” she was saying, her tone exasperated “This is a big chance for us to nail this guy. So you tell Sergeant Jones his men are needed…and don’t make me go to Coulson…”

As they approached her desk Steve saw her slam the phone down and rub her hands over her face and he could already smell her day perfume- Daisy By Marc Jacobs. A light, woody fragrance yet fresh and feminine at the same time. Whenever he caught the smell of it on anyone else he instantly thought of her. It was alluring, comforting…

Her head raised, her green eyes locked onto his and she shook her head. “You have got to be shitting me…” she spluttered out.

“Sergeant…” Coulson looked at her, “Really?”

“Sorry Sir, I’m just…surprised, shall we say, to see Captain Rogers. And Sergeant Barnes.” her tone was even but her eyes were flashing dangerously.

“Strictly business…” Steve held his hands up “Got a case I need your help on.”

“Out of all the profilers…you need me?”

“He says you’re the best.” Bucky jumped in. At that her face softened somewhat and she gave a sigh and turned to her boss.

“Can we use the briefing room?”

Coulson nodded “I’ll get Jackson to book it out for you.” “Thanks.” she said, moving her chair back. She stood up and Steve took her in, dressed as always for work, a button down (light pink this time) the top few buttons undone revealing a navy blue vest top coupled with black jeans and tan knee high boots. “Gentlemen…” She motioned for them to follow her and they headed into the large room at the back. She closed the door and perched on the desk at the front and looked at Steve expectantly. “So what made you drive 4 hours over here to hear me tell you to fuck off instead of merely picking up the phone?” “This.” Steve said, handing her his phone after he pulled up the photos he’d had Tony email him.

“Holy shit…” she mumbled “Ross? He’s dead?”

Steve nodded “Commissioner Pierce is taking a personal interest on this, and given the odd calling card left, I’ve got a feeling this isn’t going to be the last body that turns up.” She looked at him, the pair of them sharing an understanding. Unless it was gang related, it was unusual for a calling card to be left by a onetime killer.

“Keep going…” Steve said, as she swiped across his screen. He watched as her mouth dropped open as she squinted at the screen, before looking at Steve, then Bucky, then back to the photo.

“Is that…puffed rice?” she asked.

“You got it.” Bucky nodded “But we won’t know if that’s what killed him until Wilson’s done the PM.” “Death by Cereal…” she snorted “A Cereal Serial killer…”

Despite himself, Steve felt his mouth curl up in a smile “I was hoping it would grab your attention.”

Katie bit the inside of her cheek “I’ve never seen anything like this before.” “Why cereal?” Bucky looked at her.

She scratched her head “Ok, so this is purely supposition, but when I was training to become a profiler, there was a case study about a killer in Minnesota. He was leaving Caviar in the mouths of his victims. They were upper class bankers and dealers, he was targeting them because he blamed them for his business going bankrupt. It was kind of a taunt really…” she bit her lip “But Cereal is something that’s so widely available, it can’t be that…maybe it’s the opposite. Look how dangerous something that you can see or take for granted every day can be…”

Bucky looked at Steve, and had to smile at the way the Captain was looking at the woman opposite him, his expression soft, almost proud.

“You said she was good Steve…” he said and Steve turned to him, giving him a smile. Katie held out his phone and he took it, his fingers brushing her slightly and she pulled her hand back immediately, a pink flush rising to her cheeks as she looked down at her legs which were swinging to and fro as she sat on the desk.

“So what do you say?” Steve asked softly

“I can’t.” she said after a pause.

“Katie…” “No, Steve.” she looked at him “I left Brooklyn to do a job here, and that’s what I’m gonna do. Pull someone in from the Bureau.”

“I don’t want someone from the Bureau.” Steve said “I need someone on this we can trust, someone that knows the team, someone that can get their hands dirty…”

She sighed and looked up at him, and he didn’t miss the flash of sadness across her face “The days of me jumping to your tune are over.” she said with a shrug “Sorry, you’ve had a wasted journey but no is my final answer. Good luck.” With that she hopped off the desk and left the room without looking back.

“Well that went well.” Bucky said, “I could say I told you so but…” “Don’t” Steve practically growled, his hands on the buckle of his belt. “Looks like I’m gonna have to do this the hard way.”

“Yeah she’s gonna have your balls for earrings.” Bucky turned to him. “Now I don’t know about you but I think we should check in with Romanoff about the PM and then go get a drink.” ***** “So you’re alive then?” Katie’s voice hit Steve’s ears as she shut the office door behind her. “Just ghosting me.”

“I’m not…” he started to protest but knew it was useless, she’d hit the nail on the head. He had been avoiding her. Completely.

“Why Steve?” she asked, her eyes brimming with tears “I thought…I thought it meant something to you, that I meant something to you…” “Sweetheart…” he sighed, walking out from his desk towards her “It did, you do, I just…” “You just what?” she looked up at him. “I wake up, and you’re gone…didn’t even stay for breakfast… and then you ignore me for 3 days?”

“I shouldn’t have let it get as far as it did.” he sighed.

“So you regret it?” “No, it’s not that…” he sighed “Katie, I’m your boss…this…us…” he waved his hand between them “it can’t happen.” “It’s a bit late for that…” Katie shook her head, the tears in her eyes were now replaced with a blazing fire, one that he knew only too well and he inwardly cringed at the verbal attack he was about to receive. Only it never came. Instead her voice remained level as she raised her chin to look at him straight on “You know, you pretend to be this moral guy, when all along you’re no different to the rest of them. You got what you wanted and now you’re not interested.” “Katie, that’s not what it was.” he sighed “I care about you, everything I said that night was true but…” “I’m gonna take that job in DC.” she said, cutting him off.

Steve sighed “There’s plenty of time to think about that. Don’t do anything rash…” “Well then give me a reason to stay.” she whispered, pleading with him as she stepped forward. “Steve, we could have something so good if you just give it a chance.” Steve’s hands fell to her hips, an automatic response, before he moved back, shaking his head. And that was the moment he saw her break. The disappointment in her eyes killed him and he couldn’t look at her anymore.

“I can’t.” he said, turning away.

She didn’t speak another word. Instead she turned and left, not even slamming the door behind her.

“The next day I signed the paper work to authorise the 2 year secondment.” Steve said, his fingers sliding across the label on the bottle of beer in front of him as he sat in the bar opposite the hotel with Bucky, finishing his explanation  “She left at the weekend without speaking so much as another word to me, said her goodbyes to the team when she knew I wouldn’t be there.”

“You didn’t even try and fight for her?” Bucky looked at him, shaking his head “Man, what the actual fuck?” “Can you imagine the shit storm it would cause?” Steve sighed “One of us would have had to move units, and that would have been her, not me.” “Dude, you could have worked through that!” Bucky said “She was coming to DC, it’s not that far away. You could have seen each other at weekends, or in your free time…” “Maybe.” Steve sighed. If truth be told he’d thought about that a lot after she left. Thought about calling her and seeing if they could work it out, but the longer he left it the harder it got. And she ignored all the calls and texts he had sent her anyway. “It’s too late now.” he shook his head. “Do you love her?” Bucky looked at him. Steve hesitated for a second, considering the question. It was an easy answer in the end.

“I think in a way I always have.” Steve shrugged “As a friend anyway…”

“That’s not what I asked.” Bucky said simply.

Steve looked at him and sighed “Don’t make me say it Buck, please.”

That was all the confirmation Bucky needed. He shook his head and looked at his friend “You’re an idiot.” “I know.”

“How are you gonna feel when she comes back?” “Same as I always feel when she’s around.” Steve drained his bottle “Like that scrawny assed punk from Brooklyn that was always getting his ass kicked.”

“Well, just like old times then…” Bucky said, knocking back the rest of his drink before he clapped a hand on his friend’s shoulder “I got ya back pal, till the end of the line.”

@the-omni-princess  @momobaby227 @geekofmanythings16 @angelofhell-666 @thewackywriter @marvelfansworld  @cobalt-gear  @asgardlover75 @jennmurawski13  @jtargaryen18 @saiyanprincessswanie  @navispalace @patzammit  @joannaliceevans-fanficblog  @djeniiscorner  @ayamenimthiriel  @coldmuffinbanditshoe  @disneylovingal @madzmilllz  @sgtjaamesbaarnes @sweater-daddiesdumbdork  @southerngracela @goldenfightergir @kellymat @official-and-unstable-satan 

[aty-altiria]

Three sneaky neighbors

No 25. I THINK I’LL JUST COLLAPSE RIGHT HERE, THANKS Disorientation | Blurred Vision | Ringing Ears

Word count: 1669

Universe: Harry Potter, MCU

Pairings: Fem!Harry/Steve Roger’s

Themes: Ringing ears, CA:TWS, pre-relationship

Summary: Holly’s next-door neighbour was a spy. She had been looking for the quiet life and she’d moved next door to a spy! Who gets shot at when she’s standing right there and starts up the pursuit of some masked vigilante like figure. Well, who was Holly kidding, she hated the quiet life and she very much was interested in the spy.

@whumptober2020

---

Steve heard the quiet cursing as he ascended the stairs to his apartment. As he approached, Steve quickly realized that it was his… admittedly stunning, neighbour. Her door was opposite Sharon, and besides Steve; though she had a bit of a nocturnal schedule, Steve often caught her when Steve was finishing his missions. He knew her name was Holly from his brief glimpses, and he knew that she was rather petite with black curls, green eyes, and possessed worker's hands filled with calluses.

As Steve rounded the corner, he found Holly glaring at her front door. She had a righteously unhappy expression across her face; it was almost frightening how furious she looked. Steve approached with caution.

"Are you alright?" he asked both because he was concerned and because he had to step over her to get to his own apartment.

Holly's head jerked up, and she grimaced: "I'd love you tell you 'yes,' but I've had better days honestly."

The British accent nearly caused Steve to flinch, almost, he hadn't heard one since Peggy, and he hadn't realized she was British like his first love. Though, if he was honest with himself, it was because of the accent that he stepped forward with a touch more confidence.

It had nothing to do with Natasha's earlier comments about his lacking love life.

"Can I help?"

"Uh…" she made a face, "it's not so much a 'help' thing." Holly made air quotes, and Steve was quietly thankful he'd seen Tony do the same, or it would have gone over his head.

"Then an ear to vent to?" he offered instead.

He saw the struggle on her face, then surrender filling in a moment later: "yeah, I think I might like that. But… can you maybe help me with my lock?"

Holly accepted Steve's offered hand, and he pulled her to her feet, then shot a look at the door. "You got locked out?"

"I forgot my key, and… well, these electronic locks hate me." She grumbled under her breath, and Steve caught the words, "-electronics just break around me, sometimes-"

Steve felt a measure of kinship form with Holly then, "Gotta agree with you there, I can barely get my cell phone to work." It was due to lack of knowledge, but he certainly understood where Holly was coming from, or well, he did in a manner of speaking. "I think I have a tool that could help; let me grab it." A tool would be a decent cover story. Steve, after all, wasn't about to use his bare hands to burst the lock right off her door to get her in - even though he was capable of it. "Give me a minute."

"Mhm, oh, and you might want to turn off your radio. You left it on, I think."

What?

He blinked, and something in his stomach sank.

He hadn't.

"Of course, just… wait here, alright, I'll be right back?"

"Sure," she settled against the wall to wait, "I'll be here. Nowhere else to go, really." And laughed lightly.

Holly watched Steve leave, watched his door close and waited for precisely three minutes till she heard it; a thud and a cry of pain. Holly instantly shoved off from the wall and grabbed for her wand. She moved toward the door- only to be abruptly pushed aside and ordered back by her and Steve's other neighbour, Sharon. Who, Holly may like to add, was holding a gun. Not that Holly could judge, she was in America, and her wand was technically a weapon as well, but still- Americans.

Holly, regardless, was massively curious about what was happening; she was a Gryffindor after all. Holly quickly followed despite Sharon's order.

She wasn't quite in the door when Sharon spoke up, and Holly halted her steps to eavesdrop like a proper Weasley.

Sharon introduced herself as Agent Carter and spoke to 'Rogers' about her protection duty. Holly covered her mouth to that, blinking in surprise. Her neighbours were spies? That was wicked. The twins would be massively jealous, and Hermione endlessly smug. Because clearly, Holly couldn't possess an everyday life even in the Muggle world. Not with spies as neighbours.

"I'm in pursuit," said Steve before there was a crashing sound, and he was darting past her. Steve caught her eye as they glanced at each other in shock before he was racing past, unable to stop. Holly didn't much mind; the thrill-seeker in her thought her day had turned for the better.

Superspies and a villain! This was wicked!

"Yes!" Holly pumped the air with her fist and quickly darted after Steve. She left Sharon in the dust but was hard-pressed to keep pace with Steve, Merlin above he was fast. The man went crashing through doors, glass, and walls without a care or even slowing. Holly herself had always been the fastest of the people she knew, but Steve was greatly outrunning her.

Holly caught up to Steve in time to watch him hurl a large circular shield at the runner who had apparently gone running across the bloody roofs. Not that she could judge, she'd followed Steve across those same roofs and through two destroyed walls.

Holly darted forward, she got herself instantly involved as the man caught the shield, and then she was rushing past Steve. Holly ducked under the shield as the man tossed it back. She heard Steve's sound of surprise as she slid across the ground and kicked out at the unknowns legs. The man twisted to avoid her as Holly came up, his metal fist slammed into her shoulder. Holly didn't bother dodging it, but she should have. The sheer force of the blow struck against the shield she'd layered over her jacket, and a loud bang went off.

Holly swore instantly and staggered back; her ears were ringing like mad after that. She hadn't expected so much sound from that. True, she hadn't been hurt, but the volume had been brutal.

Shaking off the ringing, Holly lifted her wand as she shot several spells toward the man. He didn't look surprised by it like Steve currently was; the man didn't react at all, really. Still, Holly didn't care that he wasn't, not as her spell made contact with his fake arm, which he was using it to block her. That was stupid. She wasn't using a gun. He was wrong if he thought he could just deflect or block her magic with his unique arm, except he was wrong. The spell hit him, hit the metal of his limb, and he dropped on the spot.

"Hah!" Holly yelled happily, and straightened flipping her hair over her shoulder, "Me: one, weird masky guy: zero!"

"H-Holly?" Steve called, and she glanced over as he joined her.

"Oh," she blushed, ducking her head, "Sorry, I just thought you'd want some help? Honestly, this is so much better than talking. Taking down a masked villain and working with super spies!" she squealed a bit, "So what are you then? CIA?" she leaned in eyes sparkling, "can I join?" Screw the everyday life; this was so much better! The rush was fantastic.

"Y-you aren't an Agent?"

"No?" she answered with a tilt of her head, "plain old Holly Potter." Lie, that was such a lie; she was anything but plain. "I'm a civilian at least," because she hadn't been allowed to become an Auror, all thanks to Umbridge. Blasted woman.

"Right… well," Steve dropped it for the moment and looked to the stunned man. "What did you do, shock him?"

"Not exactly?" Holly hedged, rubbing the back of her neck, "it's a stun… sort of, it should work till I reverse it."

"I… see…" Steve stooped and grabbed for the mask covering the man's face, "Well, let's see who we have." Steve pulled the mask away, revealing a rather handsome face in Holly's opinion. She frowned curiously and turned to Steve… who had frozen in sheer shock. "Bucky?" he asked, horrified.

"You know him?" Holly asked blankly; she didn't.

"I did," Steve tried to say calmly, tried, "but he's supposed to be dead… he should have been- why is he here. No, I need to… this is too public. Let's take him back-" Steve hesitated, "to your apartment if that's alright? Can you keep him secret? and stunned?" He was planning at a mile a minute. Shield was compromised; Bucky was Fury's assailant and hadn't reacted to Steve at all. Sharon was a spy and had been spying on him. While Holly was clearly a bit more than human, was she a mutant?

"That's fine, but the door is still locked." Holly mused as Steve picked  Bucky up and hefted him over a shoulder. "Should we tell Agent Carter? Also! I can't believe she was a spy too! That's wicked."

"I didn't know either," Steve admitted unhappily, "and no, we're not telling her. I don't think I can trust anyone right now." Except for Holly, it seemed, because he was giving her that trust. It might be a mistake, but he hoped not. She appeared genuinely uninvolved, and Carter hadn't reacted to her. Had treated her like a civilian just like Steve had.

"Are you witness protection?" Holly trotted after him as they headed back to the apartment.

"No… you really don't know who I am?"

"Should I?"

"No." Steve and Holly climbed back into their apartment, "its better this way." Refreshing in a way.

"If you say so…"

[cowandcalf]

10.14 - Spoilers

Random thoughts, no particular order.

Danny has some workdays off. He sits in a bar, at 10 am, alone, watching TV. I haven't decided yet if this is a sad picture or if Danny's having a good time, some me-time, away from the normal daily routine… I really don't know. Maybe he's somehow heartbroken over Grace being at college, far away from home, far away from her Danno. It might be all about a dad who must get used to the fact that his daughter grows up. And that hurts, a lot, especially Danny. He's a great dad. Because Danny doesn't look relaxed in this first scene at the bar, more like deeply immersed in serious thoughts. So maybe his face expresses all about the changes in his life he can't stop from happening.

Steve's worried about Danny and I know he has his reasons. So, it really might all be about Grace and college and moving away from home. Steve's looking out for his boy the only reason for his early call to check up on Danny. Okay, I mean Danny must have left the house around what time? 8:30 am? 9:00 am? Something like this? So, he's seen Steve just a moment ago, had a cup of coffee with him. He even petted Eddie before he went to drive off to this bar. And Steve is separated from Danny for how long exactly? For about 2 hours tops? Before Steve decides it's time for a call, to touch base, making sure he's fine. I mean…this, yeah, this is what I live for.

Steve calls Danny, asking him how he's doing. And it's not anywhere near lunchtime but Steve asks Danny to join him, to grab a bite to eat for lunch. Danny has this day off and Steve can't stand the thought thinking Danny might overthink things, having a bad time, a somber mood. Whatever. Anything is good enough to pretend it's all about caring instead of admitting he only wants to hear Danny's voice. Steve's worried, he misses him…

(Damn, right this moment, in the middle of writing this text there's some other thoughts popping up…GAHH!)

How could I forget about that? OHmYGoD! Steve has just had this awful moment with Eddie! He was terrified Eddie might die on that highway, disorientated, run over by a car. Steve's all shaken up emotionally. He can't really admit that fact to himself, not yet at least, only later when the vet is there with him…I got a little of that myself today – talking about anxiety… So, the call to Danny is also to calm Steve down from the recent, shocking events because Eddie is much, so much more than just a dog to him.

Eddie is the main supporting pillar of Steve's fragile world he hides in his heart and his shattered, scarred soul. Steve is still upset and who does he call? Danny.

He calls, just as Danny would have called him and he checks up on his boy. What a great, tender, comforting moment. Steve doesn't see Danny at work due to his short time-out, though Danny still lives at Steve's place (…if he hasn't forgotten his key…) and Steve sees him in the evening for sure but he wants to eat lunch with Danny although he knows Danny is off to have some good time with whatever he's coming up with. The call Steve gives Danny is similar to the one Danny gave Steve in 10.01, exactly the same. I love this continuity. Warms my heart and the inside of my body down to my little toes.

Danny and the unknown, sexy woman. She's a natural beauty. I love everything about her. From her hair to her fair skin, down to her curvy, hot as hell body, to the way she's dressed, wearing the badassery-is-my-first-name tag like she invented also sensuality. I appreciate the absence of heavily put-on make-up. She's gorgeous and perfect. What a woman!! Whoa, she's freaking hot! And so damn far away from Danny's comfort zone, it makes me want to bite something. That pick-up scene where she just entered the bar to catch up on Danny was a total turn-on, so special, totally out of the ordinary, so hot! Holy shit! This sexy brunette plays with Danny and makes one hot move on him after the other.

God, she's so sexy, full of sass and wits and she swaggers into the bar and within seconds she hits on Danny and it knocks me off my feet with the wave of passion and lust and joy of life breezing my way. Bow chica bow wow!

Danny goes with the flow. How could he not? Steve is still important, and he takes the call. Danny would never not take a call from Steve. But after that Danny's world spins out of control. This woman seduces him into a state where Danny's cock rules his body. They go and have a hot fuck in the woman's bathroom of that bar! Danny stumbles into a tiny, confined space with no windows and only walls around him and he's fine! I have a great live-sex-movie in my head with Danny having this impromptu sex and that's why I have to use other words! Let’s be dirty! He bangs her, right there, from behind, and Miss Sexy-and-Brunette has one palm spread wide against the mirror, and with her other hand she clamps the rim of the counter to catch the heavy snaps of Danny's hips against her ass. God, they watch each other in the mirror, Danny takes her from behind, face red and flushed from arousal and joy and a tiny bit embarrassment that he even sees himself fucking a stranger in a public toilette. A hookup, not even knowing her name and she lifts her skirt and pulls her panties aside to let Danny glide into her wet, hot pussy. Jesus!

I mean, what the hell? (I love Danny’s wet spots under his armpits on his shirt after the sex, that's a great detail.)

The absolute cutest thing happens afterward. Danny has never done this before..just savor this...Danny has never fucked a stranger in a bathroom. He’s not so adventurous and this all-in now or never guy and it shows a tiny bit in the way of his movements which aren't all that confident, just a tiny bit insecure but the desire is there, burning like a wildfire. I mean the red-kissed, sore skin on the sexy brunette’s throat makes my knees go weak.

We know how Danny approaches his women, not like this. He's very much hesitant, insecure, shy, careful, cautious that this event right there with Miss Sexy-and-Brunette?? This renders me damn speechless. Wow! I'm sure Danny calls her (the unknown, sexy woman he just had sex with) Vivienne in his head. I see him whispering hot nonsense in her ear while he comes inside her, and her eyes grab his gaze and lock on. She's so damn self-confident. Who had the condom? That had to be Miss Sexy. I really don't think Danny plans such an act on purpose. He has never done this before!! And he's a bit shaken from his courage and he's so damn sexy with this touch of shyness and the way he speaks to her afterward, coaxing her into giving her a lift…wow, man, Danny's such a hot a stud when he sets his passion loose!

I have no idea if they had had a chance for a relationship. It wasn't the question anyway. But Miss Sexy-and-Brunette is from the East Coast, she loves Jersey, she gets movie/baseball/football (?) quotes. She knows 'Romeo's'…she's such a great gal and I literally can see Danny falling in love iwith her just because she so very different compared to his previous women. She's a wild one and I'm not so sure if Danny could have handled her. Really, I'm not so sure. But she sounds perfect.

Everything that happens afterward seems to be fate, just bad luck, even if it kills you as a viewer, you can't turn back the clock. It's so terribly heartbreaking and this strong, incredible woman dies without telling Danny her name. She's outstanding and a tough she-warrior till the end. She fought so hard, she was so brave and everything...but it wasn't enough. God, I cried for both of them.

Danny had the hottest adventure in the morning because of her, Miss Sexy-and-Brunette and because of her asking him questions about his life Danny came up with some damn honest answers.

For example, Danny told her that Hawaii isn't the worst place to be. He said 'Hawaii 'grows on you'. Or when 'Vivienne' asks about Danny's reason for being in that bar and he answers the reason might be his ex-wife. And Rachel comes up and we get to know that Danny and she tried to make it work and they failed, again. As Danny said, they're better off as friends. So, Rachel's out of the picture. Hopefully forever.

But Life has other plans and this wonderful, sexy morning turns in another haunting, dark, life-sucking event. Danny relives a terrible nightmare – the one where his partner Grace got shot, that day 9/11, right next to him and he couldn't save her. It happens again that a woman dies in his hands. The circumstances are brutal. Danny has experienced paradise and heaven, love and passion, despair and bone-deep grief within hours. He's a mess. He can't deal with anything at the moment. He had it, this spark and it's gone, forever lost, seconds later.

And what’s with Steve? There's also some heavy shifting on the emotional side happening. He opens up to his ohana and we get some deep insights into his heart and his well-guarded feelings because of Eddie. He's honest with the vet-lady and it hurts my heart to know his job always comes first like as if he has no idea how to create a personal life. He would want a relationship with someone, but he can't fit it into his life and the vet-lady wasn't as important as it had to be to make it happen.

In the end, Danny and Steve are single again. They try hard to make things work, but it's not happening. Steve needs Eddie to get through his days and his ohana is always there for him. It breaks my heart how much everyone loves Eddie. Eddie has gone through the same war terror as Steve and neither of them came out sane and healthy. Both of them carry a heavy, invisible burden and that ties the bond between them even tighter.

Steve is going to break down when he gets to know what happened to Danny while he was hat home. God, he’s going to be a mess, too.

At the end of the day, Steve will do everything in his power to be there for Danny. They end up sitting on the couch, leaning into each other and helping one another to get through this mess that is life and love. But they always have each other. Danny lives at Steve's, Danny's single again, Steve's also single and one day, I'm sure of it, one day they stop being so stubborn and they will kiss and snuggle on the couch and they know they'll grow old together because they love each other deeply and uniquely.

There are so many more details. But again, let’s stop here. Thanks so much for reading!

Season 10 is quite outstanding. Great episode. It was poetic, sad, heartbreaking cinema.

[starshinegoblin]

Walking Right into Your Heart

Here’s your request @ruensroad for JinYi au where Jin Ling is CEO and Jingyi is a dog walker. In this AU. Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng aren’t brother’s but friends from college. Oh and Jingyi is still cousins with Lan Wangji but they aren’t close at the start. Shizui is a Wei here with Wen Qing being his surrogate mother. Here’s the start of their love! It got away from me and thank you for being patient! 

///

Bloomp! Bloomp! Bloomp! Bloomp! 

Jingyi groaned sleepily waking up to the sound of rapid fire text message notifications on his phone. His sleep crusted eyes opening to see that the alarm clock read that it was barely after five in the morning. He grabbed the pillow placing it over his head in hopes of blocking out the sound. He didn’t need to look to know who it was. Just by the time of day was telling enough. Sizhui may be a man of few words like his father Lan Wangji but when it came to texting it was like he was truly his other father, Wei Wuxian’s, son. Now don’t get him wrong. He does love his best friend but he hadn’t gotten back home to his apartment till after two in the morning. 

The lack of bloomp sounds stirred him from his thoughts. He was just about to go back to sleep when his phone started ringing. Jingyi huffed in frustration before reaching out to palm the nightstand until he found his phone. He answered without checking the ID. 

“This better be good you, Wei demon. ” he croaked. 

“Jingyi?” A-Qing’s soft voice came through the phone instead of Sizhui’s, “Is this Jingyi?”

Jingyi quickly sat up letting the pillow roll off him. A-Qing is Sizhui’s girlfriend and it was rare for her to call him. He moved the phone away clearing his throat before trying again to speak, “Yes, it’s me.” 

“Hey, I’m calling you because we are currently at the hospital. Sizhui was in an accident.” She explained. 

“Which hospital is he at? What happened?” He asked tossing the blankets back getting out of bed. He grabbed his towel heading to the bathroom. He’d take a quick shower to wake up some more before heading to the hospital. 

“He’s at Gusu General and you don’t have to come. He just fell and broke his leg after dropping off one of his clients. That’s all. He should be home either today or tomorrow.” 

“I’m on my way.” He said hanging up. He liked A-Qing but he had a feeling in his gut that she was leaving something out. It hadn’t been the first time he’d caught her in a lie when it came to Sizhui. If it was just a broken leg they’d have set it and sent him home. He’d find out soon enough though he thought as he started stripping to get into the shower. 

Ten minutes later, Jingyi was fresh from his shower with a hoodie over his t-shirt and jeans with his converses. He put on his sunglasses as he stepped out of the elevator of his apartment building to the front entrance. He might be sipping a Monster Mean Bean but that didn’t mean he needed to be driving with barely two and a half hours of sleep in him. Thankfully his uber was waiting for him. 

“Gusu General please.” He said getting inside. An acknowledging nod had the car pulling out of the parking lot to his best friend. 

Jin Ling sighed loudly as he tossed the pen on his desk.  He leaned back in his chair resting his head against the top of the chair as he rubbed his face. That was the last of his paperwork declining the merger with Chang Industries. A deal that his grandfather had orchestrated in his schemes to get the company back from him after his parents had died. Thankfully, he’d been able to stop it. It’d taken him nearly a year to keep the Chang’s from taking his father’s business. The one that Jin Zixuan had built from the ground up without the help of Jin Guangshan. Jin Ling wouldn’t let it be taken from him. 

“Boss?” Rayne, his personal assistant called for him as she stepped into his office. A  look of annoyance on her face as she took in his appearance. He was still in yesterday’s outfit and there was day old take out boxes from last night’s dinner on the corner of his desk .  “I thought you said you were going home?”

“I did.” He replied sheepishly glancing at the open door to the small living quarters to her left. 

Her lips pursed approaching his desk reluctantly using her stiletto covered foot to push the trash can closer to the edge of the desk.“That’s not home, sir.” She stated as she took one of the unused napkins to push the take out boxes into the trash can. 

“I’ve been informed by Director Luo to send you send you home.” 

“But the Tang meeting.” 

“Has been moved Director Luo’s schedule. So has the Fang meeting and Wen meetings. In doing that allows for you to have the rest of the month off. So that you will be well rested for the Zhan meeting.” She replied going over to the coat rack plucking his coat off it. 

“Song is already downstairs isn’t he?” Jin Ling asked despite already knowing that his former personal assistant turned director because the woman was smart as hell and was a force to be reckoned with, Luo Qingyang, had everything in place for him. Realistically he knew nothing bad would happen but the anxiety was there. He sighed in resignation before standing up. 

“Yes, sir.” She nodded as he rounded the desk to allow her to help him into his jacket. 

“See you when I get back, Rayne.”

“You too, boss.” Rayne replied waving goodbye to him. 

So….I distinctly remember her saying it was - quote...nothing serious. Jingyi thought biting his the inside of his cheek to keep from scolding the woman. Said would woman was lazily lounging in the armchair munching on a bag of hot cheetos while Sizhui was on the phone with his father’s. 

His golden eyes taking in the sight of his best friend - who’s now in a room,with his leg in a cast with a bandage on his forehead and his arm wrapped up. Oh his phone? Yeah, that’d been smashed. So he was talking to his parents on the hospital phone. The woman claiming she couldn't bear to leave him. He sent a glare towards the to the woman as the responses to his father and the injuries told him that he’d been hit by a driver reaching down to grab their phone out of the floorboards. He’d been flung in the air and gravity aided in the sudden stop. 

Suddenly, she got a call before his temper got the best of him. “Oh, gege!” she practically screamed happily making Jingyi clinch his jaw. He wished she would just leave. 

Gege? he thought, Her parents made one before her? He mentally shivered at the thought as she wiped her cheetos dust stained hand on her jeans before getting up. 

“Bunny, I have to take this and if you want I can go get you a phone while I’m out.” she said with a forced sweet tone that sounded grating to Jingyi’s ears. Sizhui gave her a warm smile and nodded as she practically bounced out of the chair grabbing Sizhui’s wallet. Then fluttered out of the room.

“Oh thank god.” he thought he said in his mind but the sound of Sizhui smacking the bed made him realize he said it out loud. He quickly turned his head to look at Sizhui who gave him a knowing look. 

“I will dad. Yes, I’m going a new pho….I have A-Yi and A-Qing here with me. There is no need to fly...Okay...I love you.”

“Your mother coming?” He asked with a sigh. 

“No, but my dad’s are.” Sizhui replied. 

“That’s going to be interesting.” 

“Don’t be like that.” Sizhui scolded lightly.

“Sorry.” He apologized. 

“It’s okay.” Sizhui sighed. 

“What are you going to do about your clients?” Jingyi asked.

“I only have Fairy this week.” Sizhui replied from memory as he leaned his head back. His snapped opened as he leaned forward repeating, “I have fairy this week.”

“ My beloved sugar plum of a husky puppy?”

“She isn’t yours and hardly a puppy.”

“Cuteness trumps reality.” Jingyi replied tilting his nose up in the air. 

“What am I going to do?” Sizhui replied. “I don’t have his owner’s secretary’s number. The whole phone was crushed!” 

“I mean I could take care of her for you.” 

“No, I couldn’t…”

“Dude, you’re not asking and it’s just walking her on her normal route right? I’ve done that a million times with you two. Besides she knows me and you said you’ve never met her owner. Only spoke over the phone with his assistant. ” 

“Yes, but-”

“What?”

“What about your clients?” 

“Her routine is early in the morning. So that fits perfectly with my other clients.” 

“Are you sure?” Sizhui asked again. 

“Yes, and don’t even think about sending me the money. You know I don’t need it.”  Jingyi chided as he handed his phone to Sizhui to add Fairy’s information into his phone. 

Fuck. Jin Ling thought as he woke up to the sound of Fairy barking rather loudly. She sounded happy so it wasn’t an intruder.  It hadn’t been her barking that bothered him rather than the sharp pain to his head when he’d trying to sit up to go check on her. His body gifting him with a skull cracking headache after finally getting more than two or three hours of rest. He reached into the nightstand grabbing for the bottle of aspirin he keeps there. Popping two of them in his mouth then washing it down with tepid water from the glass that he left there last night. 

He tossed the bottle on the back in the drawer before getting up. Jin Ling gently rubbed his temples with both hands as he stepped out of his room walking towards the living room. He guessed that he’d probably left the blinds opening and Fairy had spotted a bird on the balcony of their penthouse. Though the idea faded as he stepped into the living room seeing a man crouched down scratching behind both of Fairy’s ears.

“How’s my favorite sugar plum?” The man childishly said to his dog earning a happy bark. 

“Apparently happy and her name is Fairy.” Jin Ling stated with a scratchy grumbling tone dripping with sarcasm making the other man jump and topple back onto his butt. The way his beloved husky was acting plus the clock on the wall told him that this was his dog walker. 

Jin Ling’s dark eyes taking in the sight of him. The man had dark brown hair cut short with a long bangs but not too long that it covered his beautiful whiskey colored eyes. He wore a jean jacket with an over sized grey sweater and a pair of jeans with black converses. 

“Uh, I think so too.” the man chuckled with a blush creeping up his neck from the sweater’s collar, “Stop sugar plum.” he said to Fairy ignoring him while gently pushing her off him to stand up, “You must be her owner. Since you’re home. I’ll just go.” He gestured towards the door. 

Jin Ling was about to agree but then he got another sharp pain. “Wait, If you don’t mind can you walk her today?” 

“Sure, thing. Let’s go sugar plum.” The man nodded heading out the door with Fairy and her leash before he could ask about why he was even here. Jin Ling huffed turning around. He’d worry about the cute dog wal...wait no…annoying dog walker later. He shook his head making it hurt even more. His head was busting and all he wanted to do was crawl back into bed. 

“Dude.” Jingyi said practically yelled into his phone the moment that Sizhui answered the phone. “Sugar Plum’s dad is hot.”

“How do you know that?” Sizhui asked with a worried tone.

“I went to go pick her up and he appeared in the living room. Lord, Sizhui. He’s hotter than the sun.” He happily answered.

“Jingyi!” 

“You should have seen him. That messy bed hair, the muscles, and the -”

“Don’t say another word and don’t you dare sleep with my client.” Sizhui replied with a warning tone. 

“Who said anything about sleeping?”

‘Jingyi.”

“Okay, Okay, I won’t.” Jingyi chuckled “But I can ogle right? Because he has a tattoo on his left pec is…”

“I’m out.” Sizhui replied hanging up. Jingyi couldn’t help but laugh sticking his phone in his pocket as he refocused on the walk. If he ran a bit with Fairy to try get the memory of her shirtless owner out of his head before going back no one else would know. 

[simplyfandomish]

Sister, Sister (2/_)

Older Sister! Reader x Older! Gilbert Blythe

Part 1 || Part 2 || Part 3 || Part 4 ||

“Can you please sit? You’re going to wear a hole in the rug.” 

The Shirley-Cuthbert was pacing on Aunt Jo’s expensive Persian rug. Her mind and her heart a giant jumble of mixed emotions and conflicted thoughts. 

Anne paused. She thought for a moment, huffed, and then plopped herself on the couch across from (Y/n). “I’m sitting down because my mind is exhausted. Not because you told me too.” Anne huffed. 

Aunt Josephine and Diana left the redheads to discuss their family turmoil. The Barry’s had decided to sit in the dining room and catch up with one another as the sisters occupied the parlor. They would give the Shirley’s their privacy, but close enough in case both needed to step in. 

(Y/n) spoke up. “Why do you think I abandoned you, Anne? And don’t make up any colorful stories. I want the truth.” Anne crossed her arms and sunk into the green velvet cushion. “But you did anyway.” She refused to look at her sister. 

“My plans were to go back and adopt you. I needed one more paycheck and I was going to hop onto the ferry to get you.” 

Anne leaped to her feet. “Please don’t fib to me, (Y/n)! You were content with your job at the pub. Besides, I already have been adopted! So your plans don’t even matter anymore! I happily live with the Cuthberts of Green Gables. With Princess Cordelia a-and the Snow Queen! I’m happy!”

(Y/n) felt cold water run down her back. “Y-You’re adopted? Since when have you been adopted??”

Anne wiped her nose on her sleeve. “For a few months now! You’ve known if you read my letters - which this clearly proves you haven’t. Therefore you don’t care!”

(Y/n) leaped to her feet. “Now hold on for a moment. I received a letter that said you returned to the asylum after working for Mrs. Hammond and that you were still waiting for me to return!”

Anne furrowed her brows. “I did return after working for the Hammond’s but then I was called by the Cuthberts. But I wrote to you immediately after I left the asylum and arrived at Green Gables.”

(Y/n) pursed her lips, “This is my first time hearing about Green Gables or the Cuthberts. The very last letter I got from you was a few weeks ago…addressed from the asylum.”

“And I got mine from you saying that you were settling down in Nova Scotia.”

“I’ve been on the island for almost a year...” 

The pieces to this puzzle were slowly starting to click together and the Shirley’s were becoming increasingly angry at the conclusion. 

“Those blasted nurses were tricking us! They intercepted our letters!” 

“How utterly cruel! I knew they were unpleasant people, but this just makes them even more horrendous!”

Red hair ignited to a brighter color as their tempers flared. 

“Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned! Especially a redhead!” Anne quoted with her fists in the air. 

(Y/n) nodded and barged out of the parlor. “Make that TWO redheads!”

Aunt Josephine and Diana barged onto the parlor once they heard raised voices. They rested their hands over their hearts when their eyes rested on the pink faces of the angered females. “Good heavens! What is happening?”

(Y/n) pushed past the Barry’s and stomped towards the coat hanger. She ripped her jacket from the brass hanger, a hole torn in the sleeve snagged on a hanger and tore open wider. Only feuling (Y/n)’s anger. “I have every right to hop onto a ferry and pummel their ugly faces in. Maybe this time I will burn down the garden!” She proclaimed and knotted the sash of her jacket tightly around her torso. (Y/n) marched towards the large doors with Anne on her tail. 

Aunt Josephine and her butler rushed towards the fuming redheads. “Now, now, let’s all keep a calm head, ladies. It’s dark and cold out to travel anywhere and the ferry is closed for the night.”

“Then I’ll wait for the earliest morning launch!” (Y/n) proclaimed. 

The butler scrambled in front of (Y/n) and blocked her exit. “Out of my way egghead. I’ve got some teeth to knock in!”

“That’s enough!” Aunt Josephine banged the end of her cane on the floor. “I don’t mind the temper of a redhead, but when they insult my staff is where I draw the line. You need to take a breath and think rationally. I would hate for my neighbors to witness a cursing woman leave my abode.” She shook her head, “Be utterly dreadful towards my reputation. Now let’s all gather back into the parlor and calm down.” 

(Y/n)’s temper extinguished as the old woman spoke in a soft, but firm tone. She knew never to step up against an elder woman with a wooden walking stick and a tongue like silver. 

(Y/n) huffed and tugged off her pea coat. The butler took her dark jacket and hung it back up on the hanger. “Sorry about the name-calling.” She huffed under her breath. 

Tempers and apologizes were the bane of a redhead’s existence. (And in Anne’s case - the red hair itself). 

Egghead nodded at the apology. 

“Bertram, see how much longer till dinner is ready. A warm meal will calm things over.”

The butler nodded once again and rushed off towards the kitchen. 

“So it was the asylum nurses that has caused such a calamity.” Aunt Josephine clicked her tongue as she stabbed her sliced piece of chicken. “Rotten people. The lot of them. I should write a strongly worded letter to the higher-ups about this. Get all those involved fired.” She shoved the food into her mouth. Her teeth clacked against the metal. 

“But then the entire asylum would have no staff to run it.” (Y/n) commented. She shook her head, “And then all those kids wouldn’t have a safe place to stay. It’s not home, but it’s still a roof with bed. Although, the food sucked.” (Y/n) cut her vegetables with more aggression than necessary. 

“ ‘Was disgraceful’. Not ‘sucked’. Improper language for a young woman.” Aunt Josephine couldn’t help but correct.

(Y/n) rolled her eyes.

Anne bowed her head, “I’ve always hated that place.” All attention was towards the Cuthbert, but her blue eyes refused to tear away from her plate. “After you became of age, the other girls didn’t hesitate to tease me. It was utterly abhorrent.”

The mood in the dining room shifted, but Aunt Josephine had quite enough of the somber mood. “That’s enough of this grim atmosphere. We’re all having a lovely dinner with lovely company. Any more of this gloomy attitude and all of you will be sent out into the cold and pay for your own meals at the tavern.” Diana and Anne shrunk into their chairs, but (Y/n) shot to her feet. 

“The tavern! I totally left my job! Ohhh, I hope Emilio doesn’t fire me!” (Y/n) was quick to shove as much food as she could into her mouth before she sprinted back into the foyer and collected her jacket.

“Manners, child! Manners! Aunt Josephine had shouted from the dining room. Anne and Diana had leaped to their feet as well and chased after the older redhead. “But (Y/n)! Wait! We’ve just reunited and you already have to leave?!” Anne panted. 

Egghead assisted (Y/n) with her peacoat, her brows were furrowed and her eyes were sad. “I know, pumpkin, but a job’s a job. Plus, I’m gonna save up to visit this notorious Green Gables of yours.” She smirked with a wink as she tightened her jacket belt tighter. 

Anne and Diana gasped with a smile. The Cuthbert flung into her sister’s stomach and wrapped her arms tight around her waist. Her face nuzzled under (Y/n)’s bossom. The Shirley sisters held each other in Aunt Jo’s foyer for what felt like an eternity; the eldest rocked her sister back and forth on their feet, like a slow dance. 

(Y/n) exhaled and pressed her lips to Anne’s pumpkin orange hair. “I promise I’ll return to you, Anne.” She pushed Anne from her body and held her arm's length away. “And now we know where the other is...you’re going to have a hard time avoiding me.” She pinched Anne’s cheek. 

Anne crinkled her nose and fought her sister’s hand on her face, reaching up and tugging on (Y/n)‘s long, apple red locks. 

After twin squeaks of pain erupted from the Shirley’s, both girls released their grip on the other and instead wrapped their arms around the other once again. 

“Diana, please thank your aunt for the hospitality. I’ll be sure to visit again - if she provides another scrumptious meal.” (Y/n) smirked down at her younger sister as she used her favorite word. Anne smiled widely up at her older sister. 

“I’ll see you soon, Anne. Very soon. I promise!”

“I’ll keep you to that promise, dear sister.” She lifted her hand and extended her pinkie. 

(Y/n) smiled and intertwined her own pinkie with her sister’s. Both girls kissed their thumbs as they pinkie promised to each other. They giggled as they pulled apart. 

“Diana,” (Y/n) nodded in farewell to the ravenette, the young girl nodded and curtseyed. “Anne.” She smiled widely and pulled open the brown door that led out into the dark, cold, snowy landscape of Charlottetown. 

When the door closed with a small click, Anne let out a breath. She felt Diana worm her hand into her own and squeezed in reassurance. 

“Oh Diana, I feel like I could dance on clouds. Now that I am reunited with my Joan of Arc! My sister! My (Y/n)!!”

Tagged List: [Open]: angel-in-the-roses

[anotherloganstan]

Do You Think Logan Is Gay? - Analogical

Summary: Virgil very much likes Logan, in fact they’ve made out before, but he wonders if Logan is gay. Roman is very much exasperated with his roommate so sets them up to talk. [College/University AU with romantic Analogical, platonic Prinxiety, and background romantic Royality]

Based off an incorrect quote from @more-incorect-quotes

Virgil: Do you think Logan is gay?? Roman: …. Roman: Didn’t you two make out last night? Virgil: BUT WHAT IF HE MEANT IT AS A FRIEND

Warnings: making out, minor anxiety, drinking alcohol

Word count: 2,350

Buy me a coffee!

Him and Roman are both on their respective beds in their dorm room, Virgil with his legs crossed and extra credit work on his knees while Roman lies on his front, one earbud in listening to the soundtrack of yet another musical. Roman’s walls adorned with movie posters of hot actors and his acting awards taking up more shelf space than his actual books for college – which is a lot considering he’s an English Literature major. Virgil’s side is more minimalist, the plain black sheets with purple cushions and his textbooks in a neat order on his shelves, the only knickknacks being his cute nerdy figurines – a lot of which came as presents from his friend Patton (and he only really got into some of the shows because of Logan).

Virgil sighs suddenly, putting his work aside before flopping onto his back, his eyes closing feeling exhausted, yet he can’t help his mind from racing, not the usual anxiety but something different, something more.

“Do you think Logan’s gay?” he asks suddenly, breaking the comfortable silence between him and his roommate.

And there’s just silence from Roman for a moment, taking in exactly what Virgil’s just said for a moment too long where Virgil doesn’t think he’s actually heard him and opens his mouth to repeat himself. But Roman speaks up.

“Didn’t you two make out last night?” Roman asks, voice clearly laced with a little confusion but mostly exasperation. He’s used to Virgil being an anxious gay mess – as he can be sometimes too, okay, he just finds Patton so adorably cute that he forgets to function a lot of the time – but this, this is something else entirely.

He vividly remembers dragging Virgil to the cast party knowing fine well Logan, the tech guy, would be there as would Patton, costumes design, and well things escalated…

Virgil is not a party person regardless of the type of people at the party but Roman had insisted with a sly smile and the comment of ‘well, Logan will be there too, you know?’ So, of course he’d said yes and been dragged along by Roman – who was dressed to the highest heavens in tight white pants, a black tank top, and his red and white bomber jacket whilst Virgil’s in his usual skinny jeans, a band t-shirt, and a leather jacket. Even Roman had to admit that he looked good especially with his eyeliner all smudged and lips painted a pale pink.

Patton’s there in the hallway chatting as they enter but immediately drops everything when he catches them. He flings himself into Roman’s arms who easily picks him up and hugs him, Patton presses a big kiss to his cheek and it’s obvious from a mile away that they’re madly in love with each other just they haven’t really gotten there themselves yet. Roman puts him down and Patton gives Virgil a one-armed hug accompanied with the question, “how are my two favourite boys?”

And Roman makes a strangled sort of noise before laughing it off and replying, “I thought Logan was one of you favourite boys?”

Patton laughs too with a shrug and pulls them both to the drinks table, but Virgil can’t help being distracted by the mere mention of Logan’s name. He’s handed a plastic cup with vodka and lemonade in, he thanks Patton and takes a few sips when he knows it’s not too strong.

And he doesn’t know how long he’s been here yet, all he knows is that Roman and Patton are both missing, and some theatre girl may or may not be trying to chat him up or at the very least trying to get to know him which he does not want. So, he excuses him to get another drink, just his third (and probably last) of the night – he’s not drunk but he’s not sober either.

“Hello, Virgil,” a voice greets him, the low tone and the way his name is said like that lets him know it’s Logan, the man he’d maybe been hoping to avoid all night or maybe hoping to run into… Virgil’s not too sure what he wants. Virgil turns to look at him and his words are stuck in his throat at the simple look of him. The ever so smart Logan looking, well, casual in a navy t-shirt, jeans, and a black jacket, and Virgil might just need to lay down for a moment or seven.

“Hi, L,” he responds blatantly, “uh, how are you doing?”

The question is lame and he’s about to make a quick exit, but Logan responds, “I’m quite alright but, you know, parties aren’t really my thing, I felt as if I should make an appearance though. How are you? I’m aware this isn’t exactly your scene either.”

He’s right. And they have so much in common that it makes Virgil want to bang his head against the wall because Logan is so god damn perfect in his eyes with his stupid glasses and stupidly soft hair and stupid smart wit and stupid stupid-ness.

“Uh, I’m alright, I mean the alcohol isn’t so bad but I’ve no idea where Roman’s gone, probably with Patton somewhere kissing his face off,” he says, laughing lightly at the end, watching as Logan too laughs, his eyes shutting slightly and he needs to stop being so attractive or Virgil is really going to do something he regrets later on.

He does. He does something very, very stupid but very, very right. He kisses Logan, completely ignoring the other’s response, in fact cutting him off just to feel his lips on his own. Logan stiffens obviously but his hands grasp at Virgil’s leather jacket, holding him close and a silent indication to ‘keep going, please’. They only separate when someone coughs and reminds them that they’re blocking the drinks table.

So, they flush and move to the side of the room, in the darkest corner possible. Virgil opens his mouth to respond but Logan is quicker in kissing him, harder and with more force than before, and his hands find Logan’s hips holding him steady much more than to keep Logan close. And his tongue is inching into Logan’s mouth, gladly allowed access and he just doesn’t stop. He kisses and kisses him until he feels nothing but Logan and the faint taste of gin on his tongue – because of course Logan drinks gin.

And that’s how Roman finds them, pressed up against the far wall practically devouring each other. Roman pulls him back by the collar of his jacket, his eyes fly open as does Logan’s who looks more than embarrassed to see Roman standing right there and averts his eyes.

“Enjoying yourselves there?” Roman asks, cocky and smartarsed as ever, and when he gets no response but various noises he says, “alright, come on, we’re being kicked out since it’s so late.”

He ushers Virgil away so they can walk home and faintly hears Logan telling him he’ll text him at some point. He doesn’t text him when he gets home or in the morning or at lunch time.

“But what if he meant it as a friend!?” Virgil shouts, panicked and clearly doubting himself as he sits up from his position and faces Roman, playing with his own fingers, and clearly this is something he needs to talk about but maybe not with Roman.

So, Roman sends a sneaky text to Logan:

Hey nerd, your not-quite-boyfriend is freaking out over your last nights make outs, come reassure him or I’ll have your head xoxox

Then one to Patton:

Yo, Pappy, mind if I come hang around yours for a bit, I have a feeling my room is going to be occupied with two nerds grossly making out for the rest of the night xoxoxoxoxox

And he sighs, looking back at Virgil, ready to fill in the time with some good old-fashioned romantic advice till Logan arrives.

“Look, dude,” he says, taking his ear bud out and sitting on the edge of his bed opposite Virgil’s very position, “he likes you, a lot, he’s just bad with feeling and shit. I don’t really know if he’s gay but he’s into you, he was full on making out with you for god knows how long last night and has been eying you up for weeks now trying to work up the courage to make a move, you know, just like you, you emo nightmare.”

Virgil still doesn’t look convinced, eyebrows furrowed, and lips pulled into a pout almost, “but…” he starts only to weakly trail off. Roman sighs.

“Virge, you’re a catch whether you like to believe it or not,” he starts, looking Virgil right in the eye, still staring at him when he blushes and looks to the ground, “you’re smart and witty and a little cynical but I’m sure Logan finds that endearing, plus you’re hot so… that’s a plus.”

Virgil laughs, half hearted and weak but it’s a start.

“But seriously, if you and him don’t get together soon I will scream, you’re meant to be, call it true love,” he finishes dramatically flopping onto his back with his hands in the air, “and I get to be your best man when you two get married!”

And Virgil opens his mouth to respond, something witty or cynical no doubt, but is cut off by three brisk knocks at the door. So, he gets up and opens it to reveal a somewhat messy Logan on the other side, wearing nothing but a grey low V-necked t-shirt and jogging pants as well as trainers, his hair mussed too (as if he’s been running his hand through it constantly which he has) and he doesn’t look as if he’s slept much last night. And Virgil hates how his heart jumps to his throat at the mere sight of the other man.

“That is my cue to leave,” Roman announces, slipping on his trainers and bomber jacket before squeezing past the soon to be couple, “and don’t wait up for me I’ll be at Patton’s.”

Just like that’s he’s gone down the corridor which Logan is still currently standing in.

Virgil steps to the side letting Logan in with a silent nod and letting the door shut behind him. Logan looks awkward as hell just standing there, not looking at Virgil but rather around their room. Virgil goes to tell him to sit down but Logan moves closer to him, looking at him weirdly before seeming to gather up the courage to reach out and hold both of his hands with his own. It’s sort of sweet in an awkward, stiff way that Logan doesn’t know how to be otherwise – unless he’s a little tipsy of course.

“Look, V,” Logan says with such seriousness in his voice that Virgil’s heart drops, he’s waiting for the ‘it was a drunken mistake’ or the ‘it’s me not you’ but that’s not what comes.

“I like you, Virgil, I really like you a lot but I’m not good at this,” he says, gesturing with his head to the intertwined fingers, “I’m not good with feelings or with physically showing them like, you know, like Roman does or even Patton, I’m not a physical person but, well, last night we kind of…” he trails off, cheeks flushing a pretty red and Virgil can’t help the warmth he feels in his chest, a smile creeping onto his face.

“We made out, L,” he offers, snarky but quiet, fond, as if anything louder would break what they have.

“We, um, yes, we did,” Logan stutters out, clearly trying to get his thoughts together into coherent words, “we did. And I don’t want you to think that’s all it was, that’s all I want because, well, because I really like you, and I realise I’m talking around in circles.” He gives a weak laugh, forced to try and prompt Virgil into talking to him, to reassure him that he hasn’t read this wrong and the Virgil may feel the same.

“I think I get it, L,” he says softly, brushing his fingers over the back of Logan’s hands, “you like me, you like like me, you have romantic feelings towards me.”

Logan laughs lightly at the serious words from Virgil, maybe a deflection to avoid using the L-word. And Virgil doesn’t want to use that word either, not just yet.

“But I like you too, Lo,” he says, all serious again, “I like you very much and I didn’t want to ruin our friendship by saying something so soon and last night well I didn’t know if you meant anything by it or not, I was just paranoid and scared because what if it ruined us forever, what if you never wanted to speak to me again, what if-” He pauses to take a harsh breath, focusing on the way Logan’s hands tighten around his own to ground him.

“Virgil,” Logan says, one hand leaving Virgil’s own to gently and hesitantly cup Virgil’s jaw, “I would never leave you, you could never do anything to make me hate you or stop being your friend, I care for you far too much, V.”

And, god, does that make Virgil feel a little bit sick. But in a good way.

“I- Lo, I…” he tries to get his words out, but he can’t, his words catch in his throat and he feels choked up.

“Hey, no, V, none of that,” Logan says, pausing for a moment and hesitating before pulling Virgil into a hug, it’s loose but warm and comforting. And Virgil sags into it, resting his head on Logan’s shoulder and taking some deep breaths, merely enjoying the closeness of the other.

They’ll talk about this all later, about officially becoming boyfriends, and Roman will ring them and ask if they’ve ‘sorted their shit out’ and Virgil will hang up on him only to be called by Patton and tell him everything as Logan lays against him, eyes closing and his head right over Virgil’s heart. And Virgil cannot wait.

[main-to-card-games-and-pain]

IronDad Bingo 6: Merpeople

Oh wow it’s been a while eh? I have missed writing IronDad, maybe that’s why this one is THE LONGEST OF THEM ALL. Also, this AU was straight up ridiculously fun to write. I wish I could do a full on fic for it. Please tell me what you thought of it, and what square you want me to do next! Also, please, please, please, do not be shy with my inbox, I love hearing from you all and responding to all the HCs or otherwise you send me! <3 

The water rippled with anticipation as the young merman approached the surface. He wanted to break the glass, press upwards and destroy the resistance, bridge the two worlds of Above and Below. 

His fingers stretched till they tickled the surface before hastily retracting. His eyes adjusted to the sun, it was so much brighter up there than Below. He wanted to feel warmth, true warmth, unlike the kind below the water, but he couldn’t. 

Above was forbidden. 

Peter flipped over in the water, letting his tail scrape the edge, he’d yet to ever pierce the surface. 

The youngling had to go soon, Tony was expecting him and he couldn’t risk staying still for too long and letting a human spot him. 

The waters around him were turquoise blue and perfectly crystal, and while Peter did love to admire its beauty staying too close to the surface was dangerous because even human eyes could see to a certain degree under the water. 

He wished that Above wasn’t so infested with humans, Peter hated them; humans killed his parents, they murdered them in cold blood. 

That’s why he lived with Tony now, the Royal Prince of Innovation had found him as an infant and taken him in. He’d basically grown up with the Prince as his father, but he didn’t call him that (sometimes he wished he did). 

Tony Stark was aloof, as far as mermen go. He didn’t like going out for grand parties and celebrations like the other royals did. Peter knew that at some point in his past he did, but not anymore. Now, he kept to himself, making new inventions for the kingdom and trying to stay out of the public’s eye. 

As far as guardians go though, Mr.Stark was great; he did his best and always had, he didn’t really show conventional affection but he always made sure Peter knew that he was looking out for him and that he had worth. It was just… when your mate dies it can be hard to find love again, of any kind, even for a child. Peter understood.  

Ms.Potts was killed by humans too. 

Peter dove downwards, leaving the surface and its mysteries behind him. 

“Hi, Mr.Stark,” Peter called as he entered their dwelling, casually slipping himself into the lab. “Sorry, I’m late, I got caught up in something.” 

He found the Prince where he always found him, bent over a lab bench, slaving over his newest project. The room was brightly lit, made completely of sandstone and equipped with all the latests innovations. (Peter knew it was nothing like the brightness of the sun.) Tony’s red-scaled tail still glimmered, casting iridescent threads of light over the lab. The blue mechanical scales he’d developed for himself glowed brightly against the glimmering tones of red.

“Where were you ‘getting caught up in something’ kid?” The inventor didn’t look up from his newest invention but Peter knew he could feel the vibrations in the water, giving his position in the lab away. 

“I was out exploring, same as always.” 

“Wandering around the borders doesn’t count as exploring, Peter.” His voice was stern but the youngling knew Mr.Stark was hiding a grin. 

“It does if I’ve never been there before,” Peter retorted, grinning cheekily. He swished over to the lab bench, peering over his guardian’s shoulder. “Whatcha working on?”

Tony grunted, “improved formula for the structural regeneration compound we developed last year.” 

Frowning, Peter looked over his notes. “Does it not work?” 

“Oh no, it works, but apparently the regeneration is taking longer than expected.” Tony rolled his eyes, Peter smirked. 

“They do know it would take double the amount of time without the current formula right?” 

“Of course they do, but ‘everything can be improved upon,’” Tony quoted, pretending to gag. “It’s not like I’ve got problems of my own, like rearing a foolhardy youngling for one.” 

“Hey,” Peter protested, “it’s just a stupid technicality that I’m still considered a youngling, the Age of Maturity should really be 80, not 85. Like really, what’s up with that?” 

“Ask Howard, kid, maybe he’ll do something about it. Also, that’s what you’re arguing? Your age and not the foolhardiness?” 

“Well I mean, there’s salient evidence for that one, so as a scientist I cannot dispute it.” Tony almost let himself grin, the corners of his lip twitching in amusement. “Besides,” the kid grumbled, “Howard doesn’t like me.” 

Tony stilled, casting a glance at his ward. “He doesn’t like me much either, kid, don’t worry about it.” 

“I wish my tail looked more like yours,” Peter mumbled, flicking himself away from the bench to float just above Tony’s head. “Yours is so beautiful.” 

“You don’t want your tail to be like mine,” Tony bit, “they’re damaged.” Tony had completely abandoned the project at this point, angling himself completely at his ward. 

Peter wouldn’t meet his eyes, already regretting his words. He hated reminding Mr.Stark of the attack that had claimed his mate and the functionality of about 40% of his scales and therefore tail. 

“I didn’t mean it like that,” the boy whispered, “it’s just - I don’t know - Howard sees my tail and I think it reminds him I’m not supposed to be here.” 

Peter’s tail alternated blue and red every other scale; blue from his birth parents and red from Tony. Adopted children were easy to pick out in Below, since scales developed their colour half from upbringing and half from the merfolk’s bloodline. 

“I went my whole life trying to make Howard happy Peter,” Tony muttered, “I don’t want you wasting yours caring what he thinks. You belong here because I said so.” 

Peter nodded stiffly and bid his guardian goodbye, gently swimming away. 

Once he was sure Peter’s vibrations had faded Tony banged his hands against his workbench angrily. Peter deserved so much better than Tony had ever given him and - fuck - he was trying but he didn’t know what to do to make himself show Peter how much he loved him. 

“You belong here because you’re my son” was what he should’ve- wanted to - say. 

Peter moved languidly through the water, lost in his thoughts. He felt the ripples of the other residents of the palace as they moved around him, no one giving him a second glance. It was basically an unspoken rule that every one should ignore the Prince’s whelp. 

That’s why Peter wasn’t expecting something to collide into his path. Or not something, someone. 

“Oh, I, uh, I’m sorry!” The youngling squeaked, head whipping up to see who he’d knocked into. And of course, because Peter Luck, it was Howard Stark; King of Below. “Your Majesty!” Peter fell into a bow. “My most sincere apologies.” 

“Oh, it’s you, boy,” Howard sneered, making no effort to hide his displeasure at the youngling’s presence. “I haven’t seen you around lately, you’ve grown.” 

Howard hadn’t seen Peter since he was 80, Peter was 83 now. To be fair, Peter avoided the king just as much as the king despised him. 

“Thank you, Your Majesty,” Peter whispered. 

“It wasn’t necessarily a compliment.” Peter stayed silent, his head bowed. He flinched when Howard’s arm wrapped itself around his shoulder. “I’m just joking, smile a bit. You have, after all, been under my son’s wing for… what? Seventy years now?” 

“Seventy-five, my lord.” 

“Yes…” Howard started moving again, dragging Peter with him. “He’s had you for quite some time now.” 

“He’s the only parent I’ve ever known, sire.” 

The pair abruptly stopped. Peter’s breath hitched. 

“He’s not your parent, boy.” Peter grimaced as the king tightened his grip uncomfortably around his shoulders. “He may have taken you in like a stray but he is not your father. Just because he was mourning his mate and the unborn whelp in her womb and decided to do something stupid like keep you does not make you family, you do not belong here and you are most certainly no heir of mine,” Howard hissed cruelly. 

Peter nodded quickly, trying to control the tears spilling from his eyes. 

“Now leave me,” Howard commanded, “I grow bored of your presence.” 

Peter didn’t hesitate to obey. Howard’s words stayed with him though, and not only his cruel remarks aimed at the youngling but “the unborn whelp in her womb”; Mr.Stark had never told Peter Ms.Potts was with child when she was lost. 

“Peter,” Mr.Stark’s voice made Peter flinch in surprise. 

Mr.Stark never came to Peter’s room, what was going on? It was Peter’s little sanctuary, he spent a majority of his time either here, in the lab, or out watching the surface. It was turquoise like the water near Above, and large enough for whatever Peter may want, filled with equipment for various hobbies. 

“Sir?” Peter surveyed his guardian for any hints that something may be wrong. “Was there something you needed?” 

“You weren’t at midday meal, kid, I wondered where you were,” Tony answered. The Prince swam past the entrance and further into his chambers, taking the seat next to his ward. He could see it unsettled the youngling to see his guardian here and felt his heart clench at the fact. 

“I-I just got distracted and lost track of time. I’m sorry.” 

“It’s alright, I just wanted to make sure everything was okay.” 

Peter eyed his guardian warily, thoroughly confused and still shaken from his encounter with the king. 

“I’m okay,” the boy swallowed. Tony’s eyes flickered to what he was working on and flashed his eyes with recognition. 

“Got caught up in drawing?” He asked warmly, shuffling through some of the papyrus drawings strewn about Peter’s desk. 

“Yes,” Peter murmured, turning his head away from his guardian. 

Tony looked through a few more of the drawings, admiring Peter’s talent for realism, when he noticed something in one of them. The Prince felt his blood turn to ice in his veins. 

“Peter,” his voice was suddenly tight, Peter looked at him worriedly, glancing at the revealing drawing. “What is this?” 

Peter’s mouth dropped as if to answer, but Tony cut him off before he got the chance. 

“Because it looks like those are sun-etchings, and that looks the surface line.” 

There was nothing Peter could say to dispute the claims. The lines the sun made underwater, the so called sun-etchings were there, plain as day, as was the line where the surface split a rock into two worlds. And for someone to see those two things they had to be exceptionally close to Above. 

“I’ve never touched Above, I swear,” Peter rushed. 

Mr.Stark’s eyes flashed, “Peter,” he hissed. “You know the law.” 

“I just said that I’ve never-”

“Our border ends at the Line of Visibility!” 

“I was just curious-”

“No. No, I do not want to hear your excuses right now. You could be whipped for this.” 

“You’re going to tell Howard?” Peter’s breathing picked up, panic creeping into his heart. His gills fluttered frantically, tellingly.  

“You think I would tell Howard about this? Poseidon Peter, no, I’m not going to tell Howard. But  this is serious, what possessed you to even think about going up there? Humans could have seen you, you could have been killed.” 

“Don’t you want to know what the sun feels like? Don’t you think it’s beautiful?” Peter was desperate for Tony to agree with him, empathize with him, he couldn’t handle another reminder that he was the freak of them all here.

“No,” Tony hissed, “I don’t care what it looks or feels like up there, and from this day on neither do you.” 

“Mr.Stark, please,” Peter begged, his eyes growing wide with desperation. 

“No,” Tony roared. Peter flinched and a stab of guilt drove through the inventor’s gut, he took a few breaths and lowered his voice. “No. Consider this your one and only warning, you are not to go anywhere near Above again, I am not losing another-”

“Another what?” Peter found his anger and cut his guardian off. “I know I was meant to be some kind of replacement but that obviously didn’t work out, so what am I?” 

His words shocked Tony into silence, his mouth gaping open. “Peter - what?” 

“I know that Ms.Potts was going to have a baby, but she… and then you found me and I was what? Some kind of second prize? Supposed to replace what you lost? And then you obviously figured out that I wasn’t the son you wanted so you just - I don’t know - figured you’d keep me around until I reached the Age and your obligations would be finished?” 

“No Peter, that’s not-”

“Would you have kept me if you hadn’t just lost your own family?” 

“I…” Tony wanted to deny everything, grab Peter and hold him as tight as possible, and express years of love to him right there. But he didn’t. He stayed silent, searching for words that wouldn’t come. 

“That’s what I thought.” 

Before Mr.Stark could stop him Peter had launched away from his desk and slipped through his window, swimming away with powerful tail-strokes, leaving bubbles in his frantic guardian’s wake. 

Tony had gone after Peter as soon as he’d snapped out of his stupor, but even that minuscule amount of time was enough to give Peter enough of a head start that the Prince had to guess where he’d gone. 

And shamefully he admitted he had almost no clue, he really was a terrible guardian. 

Until it occurred to him that Peter might have gone back to the origin of this entire debacle, Above. He clutched the drawing close to his chest and swam upwards, looking for that specific rock formation. 

The inventor could feel the moment he passed through the Line of Visibility, like a cord had been cut and he was left vulnerable and scared and too close to Above. 

“Tony!” His wife’s voice, screaming in panic, scrambling for a hold on his arm. 

“Pepper get back!” 

And he was in the human contraption, the net, it was tearing at his scales and it hurt, it hurt so much- it was excruciating. 

Pepper’s hand caught his and his mind cleared, replaced with all-consuming fear as she put herself in harm’s way. She was trying to tear the net with her fingers, her green tail spasming with the effort. 

“Pepper, no! Get back! Swim-!”

She gasped, and for a second everything was still okay, and then the water started to turn red. Her eyes rolled to the back of her head and her grip was suddenly lax in Tony’s. 

“No, no, no, no, Pep. Pep come on, you’re okay, you’re okay, right? TELL ME YOU’RE OKAY.” 

But she wasn’t, they killed her, they killed his wife; speared her in the back mercilessly, like she was an animal. 

Tony returned to himself with a gasp, dilated eyes focussing on his surroundings. He’d been dreaming of that day for seventy-nine years now, but they’d morphed in the past seventy to include Peter, his son. 

Who he needed to find, right now. 

Tony felt the weight of the world lift off his shoulders when he spotted Peter’s tell-tail red and blue scales reflecting in the water. 

“Peter!” The kid looked up from his place on the sandy ocean floor, where he was laying and watching the surface ripple. There was no sun today, but it wasn’t nighttime for the humans either. A steep drop-off was a few metres to his left, Tony wanted desperately to pull him down it and past the Line of Visibility again. 

Instead he bit back his fear and approached the youngling, setting himself beside him against the sand. 

“You scared me kid,” he breathed. 

“Sorry,” Peter mumbled, not turning to face Tony. “You can’t tell me it isn’t beautiful,” he whispered. “Look at it.” 

Tony looked. 

It was beautiful, unlike anything you could find in Below, he remembered why he and Pepper had been so close to the surface that day. 

“You’re right.” Peter, who was expecting more arguing, whipped his head to look at Tony. “I’m sorry for how I reacted, Pete, I just-”

“What’s that?” 

Peter was looking over his shoulder, at something behind him. The youngling sat up and began swimming over to it curiously. Tony glanced backwards and felt panic unlike any he’d felt in seventy-nine years. 

The looming mass of darkness was a ship. 

Tony shot off after his kid, a desperate shout escaping his throat. “Peter, no!” 

Maybe it was his tone, or the volume, but Peter listened. He stopped and turned toward Tony just as the net was launched at him. 

Tony remembered the pain of his scales being ripped away from his tail, Peter would not feel that pain. He reached the youngling just in time, wrapping his arms around his chest and forcing him away from the net with his body. He panted with exertion, throwing a glance upwards at the ship. 

They were too high up, the humans could see them. “Let’s go kid, we need to swim.” 

Peter nodded, flicking his tail anxiously. Guardian and ward sat up and started to escape by keeping as flat to the ocean floor as they could, but the net came back persistently, and this time Mr.Stark couldn’t save Peter from it. 

The boy let out a terrified scream as he was yanked back, desperately trying to move a tail that wouldn’t move anymore. He’d never had his tail restrained before, it was terrible and it only added to the boy’s panic. 

“Mr.Stark!” Peter was being pulled away from his guardian too quickly, Mr.Stark wasn’t going to be able to catch him, but still he screamed for him. “Mr.Stark, please!” 

“I’m coming, kid, I’m coming,” Mr.Stark called back, and Peter could see how hard Mr.Stark was swimming, but it wasn’t going to be enough. 

Tony was not going to lose his family again. 

He reached the net just as they pulled Peter from out of the water. 

“No!” 

Peter struggled in the net, floundering and tangling himself further in its snare. There was no water, everything dropped so heavily and he couldn’t breathe, his gills were desperately searching for oxygen that they couldn’t get. He couldn’t float, and everything was sticking to him. 

He hit the deck with an impact unlike he’d ever felt before. It was coarse and itchy and something he didn’t know the word for but it hurt because there was no water. 

The net was ripped away and with it a few of Peter’s scales, he bit back the cry that threatened to escape and tried desperately to get back into the water. 

Ropes circled his wrists and pulled them together, and soon his fin was in a similar position, the men yelling things Peter couldn’t understand. His heart pounding in his ears and he couldn’t breathe. 

He wanted Mr.Stark.  

He was going to die. 

Tony burst from the water, in a jump unlike any Peter had seen in his life. He’d once watched dolphins breach the surface, Mr.Stark resembled them except with much more power, and he was infinitely more graceful. 

His guardian landed on the deck amongst the startled shouts of the men, baring his teeth at them while slicing at Peter’s bindings. Peter had the startling realization that the makeshift dagger he used were made of his mechanical scales. He’d pulled them away from his tail and pressed them together into the sharp shape. 

His face betrayed none of the no doubt excruciating agony he must be feeling right now. 

Peter felt himself be released and bolted to the ship’s edge as well as he could. There was an opening he thought he might be able to fit through but Mr.Stark was still- and the humans were closing in and they had weapons… 

“Peter, go,” Mr.Stark screamed, desperation tinging his voice. “Go! Swim!” 

“Mr.Stark, no! I can’t!” 

Something flashed through Peter’s vision, Tony saw it. He remembered what it was, what it did. No. 

He launched himself at Peter, pushing him away and closer to the ship’s opening. 

The spear ripped through Tony’s side. 

Peter screamed. 

The thing is, merfolk’s voices aren’t meant for humans to understand. It sounds otherworldly to them, screeching if they’re in distress and melodious if they’re just talking. A merfolk’s scream? Humans can’t handle it at all. 

Some of the men gasped, holding their heads in pain as their ears bled. Some fell to the deck, dead.  

It was enough to give the mermen enough of a reprieve to slip through the opening. Peter clasped his hands around his guardian and pulled them both through the hole, gasping in relief as gravity carried them back into the water. 

Peter grabbed his father’s hand and swam until he couldn’t swim anymore, until he was completely shrouded in the darkness of Below.

“Mr.Stark?” The boy tentatively tried, his eyes adjusting to the darkness of the abyss. “Please say something, Mr.Stark…” 

A ribbon of blood was trailing out of his guardian’s side, along with countless threads from where his mechanical scales had been ripped away. 

Mr.Stark groggily blinked his eyes, to Peter’s relief. “Pe-Peter, you’re okay?” 

Peter nodded, a lump forming in his throat. Mr.Stark smiled, bringing a hand up to Peter’s cheek. “Tha’s good, tha’s all I wanted…” His eyes drifted shut. 

“No,” Peter encouraged, grabbing his hand and pulling him along again, sure that he could get them to the medical wing in time for his guardian to be saved. “No, stay awake with me Mr.Stark. We’ll get you help.” 

“Pet’r,” Tony mumbled, “Pet’r I hav’ t’ tell you, I love you, so, so much. You are my son. ‘m sorry I was so bad a’ showin’ you.”

Tears flowed unbidden from the younglings eyes, his words stolen to make room for his sobs. “I love you too Mr.Stark, please stay with me.” 

Tony nodded his head bonelessly. “I’ll try Pete, wha’ever you want.” 

“Peter.” Peter looked up from his desk, where he’d listlessly been sketching for hours. “Get up.” 

“I don’t feel like doing anything,” he muttered. “I just want to stay here.” 

“You’ll enjoy this.” 

“No, I don’t want to go anywhere.”

“You’ve been cooped up in the palace for three months, you need to get out.” 

“I said I don’t want to.”  

“I’m your father, so unfortunately kid, I get the last say this time.”

Peter’s eyes immediately found the still red scar along Tony’s torso, which was there because of Peter. 

“I don’t want to do anything.” 

“Tough luck this time Pete, because we’re doing this. It’s time you got out of the palace.” 

Of course Tony knew the real reason Peter didn’t want to leave the palace. He knew that his anxiety would increase tenfold whenever he tried, thanks to their little ordeal with the ship. But it wasn’t healthy to let that fester without any healing, he should know. He didn’t want Peter to become like him.

Peter relented, nodding minutely at his guardian and swimming gently towards him. Again, Peter’s eyes found the scar, and then the small scales that had been replaced. He couldn’t see them anymore without thinking about the ship. 

“Close your eyes,” Tony murmured into his ear. “Trust me.” 

Peter complied, letting the Prince slip a blindfold over his eyes and lead him towards their destination. He felt when they left his sanctuary, his gills fluttered in protest. Tony rubbed circles on his back comfortingly until he calmed down and they kept going. 

It seemed like hours before they stopped and Tony removed the blindfold, keeping a gentle grip on Peter as he did. 

Peter soon found out why, because when the blindfold was off his eyes automatically adjusted to how bright it was, and it was bright because-

“No, no, no Mr.Stark I don’t want to be here, I want to go home.” They were near the surface. 

“Hey, hey, it’s alright,” Tony hummed into his ear, pulling him into an embrace. “It’s okay.”

“No. No, we need to go, the humans-”

“Can’t find us here.” Tony smiled, watching as Peter’s eyes darted around suspiciously. “It’s a cavern Pete, the top of it is open so we can see the sun, but to humans it just looks like a lot of rocks.” 

This calmed Peter, slightly. 

“W-why are we here,” he asked quietly, “I thought you said-”

“We aren’t making a habit out of this, but I think this is what we both need. Look Pete,” he pointed to a particularly bright spot, streaming through the water. Tony gently guided Peter closer to the surface. “Want to feel the sun?” 

Peter’s eyes widened, his head whipping towards his guardian in shock. Part of him desperately wanted to say yes, parted of him wanted to leave right now and go back as far Below as possible. 

His fingers hesitantly reached for the water line, stretching till they tickled the surface before hastily retracting. 

“No, I don’t want to feel the sun anymore.” 

Tony took his hand softly and guided it towards the surface. “It’s okay Peter.” 

Peter held his breath, letting Tony bring their fingers to the edge of the water. 

The inventor left them there, the final decision left to Peter. 

Together they felt the sunlight. 

taglist: 

@just-the-daydreamer @keep-a-bucket-full-of-stars @ladyreyreigns  @thetranslucentwallaby @friendly-neighborhood-ash @delphinium2 @the-persian-slipper @shoyzz-art @four-am-fangirling

[misha-moose-dean-burger-lover]

College au- we're the only two people in this club. What is this club even for + sastiel

"Excuse me, I'm sorry, am I la-" Castiel pauses, freezing mid-step as he sees the hall absolutely empty, save just one guy sitting on the third bench - neutral good, his brain has somehow conjured up, before he can stop it for being that weird. Castiel has never seen this guy before, but for a moment, he can't stop looking - the stranger has boyish bangs brushing over his brows, and a beautiful face - lips drawn into an obvious frown, as he looks down at his phone screen, not having heard or noticed Castiel. He's in an oversized grey Stanford hoodie, and is massaging his head with one hand, with his sleeves pulled up just enough to put on display a pair of slim wrists, as he types away using his other hand on his phone nimbly.

Though the guy has still not noticed him, Castiel feels a shiver go through his spine as his manners perhaps return all at once, and he looks away - this time, at the blackboard, which has absolutely nothing written at the place where the name of the club should've been.

"Why -" He begins, and no sooner has he uttered a single word that the guy in the hoodie is looking up at him and standing up instantly. And he has got to be at least 6'5, so Castiel can almost imagine him towering over him when they stand closer.

"Go -" Castiel can see him almost wishing him a good morning - Dammit, it is kind of embarrassing to almost have gotten confused with the club mentor - before he probably realizes that Castiel looks more his age. Probably to confirm, he says, in an uncertain tone. "Wait a second. Hey?"

And shit, that's a wonderful voice too. "Uh, hey." Castiel hurriedly replies, walking towards him, so that he doesn't have to yell from the teacher's stand. "I'm not - I mean, not at all, okay? I don't even know what this club is for, like hell I'd be mentoring it."

The other guy blinks, and after a moment, seems to find this piece of information very amusing. "Would you believe it? Me neither!"

Castiel pauses. "Really?"

The guy nods, with an easy smile. "I know, it sounds ridiculous. But I was really drunk when I accepted this pamphlet from this one guy, okay? Can't even remember his name now, though we had a whole conversation about this "club" - I think - but it was a typical white guy's name, and well, whatever. It was like an extension of my brother's 'don't take a joint from a guy named Dan' speech. Then, I don't know, but when I woke up today, I didn't remember what it was about or anything but I had multiple reminders set in my phone, at various points in the morning - and all of them telling me to get to this room, at 3 pm, for club. That's it. Club." He snorts at himself, incredulously. "The last time I left a reminder for myself drunkenly was about a deadline that had been preponed, and I suffered 'cause of it, so I didn't take any risks and showed up. But guess what? Drunk Sam can be all strict about timings and crap, but not the purpose of doing things." He's offered his hand to Castiel while he speaks, and Castiel takes it in his.

"Honestly? I wouldn't be able to relate. I do procrastinate through amazing lengths of time when I'm sober, but drunk Castiel is all about the purpose of doing things. I've been known to be a pretty philosophical smartass." He confesses, and is a little bit stunned at how openly he's conversing with this guy - no, Sam - who he didn't know, till a few minutes ago.

"Well, I guess if you'd been with me then, we could've probably known what this club was friggin' for." Sam winks, and Castiel is stunned because he just got winked at, but before he can fry his braincells some more about this, Sam rushes, "I thought I was hungover, but I'm just now realizing that I might have a little alcohol left in my system. So, uh, shut me up if I get weird, okay?" Castiel smiled, as he nodded. before adding his own question. "And, what's your excuse for not knowing why we're here, Castiel?"

"It's kind of a ridiculous one." Castiel admits. "My mother thinks I don't do enough things for a college-kid, and asked my cousin to set me up for things. Like I need someone else to plan my life for me. Especially someone like Gabriel -" He could've easily talked for hours on that line, because Sam was listening with clear hazel eyes and interest - but then he remembered that Sam didn't know him or Gabriel that well. "And well, I had to do what they plotted for me, so out of spite, I didn't read any brochures." He ends, awkwardly.

"A weird kind of spite." Sam says, throwing his head back and laughing gloriously, as Castiel feels his eyes inevitably staring at his neck. He reprimands himself, and averts his eyes, wondering when he crossed the threshold from frustrated to so incredibly frustrated, that he couldn't keep his eyes to himself?

"I was a confused rebel, okay? Had to let it out somehow, and it couldn't have been acapella."

Sam stares at him in disbelief. "You -"

"No, don't look at me like that," Castiel babbles. "I just meant - I was simply looking for sympathy regarding the fact that I had to spend yesterday in acapella club, okay?"

Sam laughs once again. "Dude, you're hilarious, and I have nothing but sympathy for you, okay?" And for the first time, Cas doesn't turn away a compliment, and smiles himself. Hell, this guy was doing things to him.

Sam stops laughing eventually, but the gigantic, and stupidly contagious smile remains.

Castiel basks in it.

And doesn't realize that it's almost a full minute of complete silence - with Sam's laughs he earned, still ringing in his ears, and Sam seeming to be as distracted as he is. It is as if they're both shaken out of their reverie synonymously, as their eyes meet.

"Uh." Castiel says, eloquently.

"Yeah." Sam sighs, straightening his face into a concerned frown. "Let's start worrying where the rest of our club is, shall we?"

"How about we start worrying with where the mentor could be?" Castiel suggests, wryly. "I mean, even if this were a really unpopular club and we turn out to be the only two members - there has to be a professor with us too, right?"

"Yep." Sam agrees, glancing at his watch. "I've been here almost fifteen minutes now."

"Well, I showed up ten minutes after it was supposed to start, because I wanted to get into their bad books." Castiel gestures with a tilt of his head at the lecturer's stand at the front, which was completely empty.

Sam chuckles at that, and honestly, Castiel can't believe that this guy found him funny, because people rarely ever did. Castiel likes him a little more, just for that.

There's a sound outside the door, and Sam hails the janitor there. "Hey, excuse me! Here!" He calls, and the man in the uniform walks in the door - giving them weird stares, as he accepts that they're the only ones in that huge hall. Sam goes on. "Isn't there supposed to be like a club here or something?"

The janitor gives them another look, and then wordlessly shakes his head.

"Are you sure, because we could bet we were told to come here," Castiel joins in, with an apologetic smile.

"I don't know," He says, this time. "Maybe there is. There's a new club almost every week now, so there's a chance you're not wrong."

"You think you could go check with someone for us?" Sam asks this time, pleading. Castiel sees what he's doing - using his large, brown eyes to try and convince the man to do it for them. Whoa, that has got to be effective, because the janitor who was pretty disgruntled already, nods slightly. There's a fleeting thought in Castiel's own head, that he's never going to stand half a chance against Sam looking at him like that - if such a situation ever arose.

"I'll take a look at the timetable for y'all." The janitor says, and Castiel and Sam thank him in unison as he leaves.

Sam shrugs at Castiel. "Well, that's the best we can do for now." And Castiel silently nods, exhaling. "I don't wanna go back to my room yet, 'cause my roommate has his girlfriend over, so I guess I'm going to wait some more." And Castiel doesn't even need to be asked - he's waiting too.

Maybe he lives an incredibly dull life, but there's no place he'd rather be.

Some more time passes, and Castiel is leaning on a desk now, quiet; and Sam is sitting on one, his legs swinging slightly.

"This is weird." Sam declares, after another beat of silence, which didn't seem like any time at all. "We're literally the only ones here."

"We're the only members of this club." Castiel adds, glancing at his watch once again. It's late, now. "And I'm gonna be bold enough to say that we're probably gonna be the only members of this club forever."

He leans into the space between them, and Sam does too.

"Because," He adds, in a mock whisper. "I don't think anyone else knows this club exists."

And then Sam is laughing again, and Castiel is staring at him, with fascination. Because this guy is perfect. He laughs at the things he says, and has a beautiful laugh and a contagious smile, and is tall and nice, and -

"You know what?" Sam interrupts him. "This might seem weird, but just because we're the only ones here doesn't mean it can't be a club."

Castiel raises his eyebrows.

"Because clearly now this is our club." He justifies. "I'm the founder, because I showed up first, and you can be president, because I don't think I like politics." Castiel chortles at that, but Sam keeps going. "And we could totally lead this club."

"By ourselves?"

"By ourselves." Sam beamed, and Castiel has to stifle his own laughter because Sam has this serious - and Cas can't tell if its deadpan, sarcastic or sincere - look in his eyes; but anyone could tell now, that he is at least a little bit tipsy.

"Fine, then. What's the first order of action?" Castiel queries, going with it, because why the hell not? "And don't quote me on that, I don't think that's a real phrase."

"I think it is." Sam assures him. "And the first action is that we need to go get some coffee." He pauses, and Cas looks at him, waiting. "Together." He brightly suffixes, and Castiel all but melts at his smile.

"That's an activity I can get behind," Castiel tells him, as they both straighten and begin to walk out of the hall they'd been waiting in - for club, to goddamn start - since the last half hour. "Excellent idea, Mr. Founder."

"Oh, Mr. Founder is my dad, Cas. I'm just Sam." Sam grins, and it doesn't quite make sense - because Sam might have been growing more drunk through the course of their conversation or maybe Cas has just started to notice it.

Because he notices that Sam may have just called him by a shortened version of his name, and he can't stop smiling because of it. "Alright, Sam." He mumbles, mostly to himself. "I hope you're not drunk enough to realize that you just asked me out."

But then Sam, really slowly, takes his hand and entwines their fingers, and at this point, he can't seem to mind anything anymore - not even the fact, that maybe the latter heard him say that.

*

(Not much later, the janitor comes into the hall to announce that there was no 'club' supposed to be there, though he did find a note in mostly-unreadable handwriting near where the timetable was pinned, addressed to 'Cassie' and 'Samsquatch' from (a not-very-anonymous) anonymous.)

***

Okay, so I wasn't sure if my taglist would all be interested in this, so I'm only tagging the people on my list who I think MIGHT be into it: @petrichoravellichor @rauko-is-a-free-elf (both of you, I am in love with the prompts you've sent, and I promise I'm working on it uwu) @screamatthescreen @3dg310rdsupreme @hellfire37 @noemithenephilim @impulsivedandelion @ladywaywarddsc @all-or-nothing-baby @moderatelypanickedbiromantic @iamcharliebradburylevelperfect

[heads-in-the-clouds-spacecadet]

When asked to write a daily diary for anxiety management.

Here are a few days example....

Sunday 24th 

Mood/anxiety = numb. 

Additional meds =8mg of diazipam.

My whole body aches yet it shouldn't. My stomach is growling yet i feel physically sick. 

Things i ask myself....

Q.1 Will i leave my safe space, weighted blanket & mountain of pillows?

A.1 NO. 

Q.2 Will i manage my yoga routine

A.2 NO

Reasons....Why

I feel exhausted even though ive not been outside since Thursday. I just want the aching to subside the pain to leave. My jaw is clenched closed making eating an ordeal. I know this needs to be done. 

The dread of what passive aggressive message/s ill receive today either in person or written either way im struggling to motivate myself to move.

The Internet has been blocked for nearly a wk now. But i just let it slide as the saying goes choose your arguements "wifi is not the hill i want to die on" quote from TBBT. I hear Luke (my brother) is now in his bedroom and his door is closed. He has been banging around the house sending passive aggressive messages (sms) since 4am. My belongings that i left downstairs were thrown into my room. I'm nervous to leave my room till i know he is asleep. 

Flashback/negative thoughts....

1. How can my baby brother be an emotional manipulator. 

2. Last time i had to justify my everymove i was in Portugal in a very bad relationship. 

*****Ways im looking to excuse his behaviour. Find the cause to my sudden crash of low mood aka depression with a nice battle of anxiety.

---Logically i know its not the same. 

---Emotionally it hurts the same. 

The way he looks at me with disgust, resentment & impatience is the trigger. I realise this. How someone you love can make you feel this way. 

Solution: i decide to find a solution to the sudden conflict of money and i know there is a receipt in the car. I go to the normal place the keys are kept and theyre no where to be found. I look in all the obvious logical places they  could be and realise theyre hidden by my loving brother. His Reasons, 1-to stop me  buying shit (his words). 2. He has decided its his house, his car so therefore his rules. (Its all my mums btw)

As im downstairs i notice the kitchen is a mess. Pots all over from a feast Luke cooked up the night before. Or should i say 2am. 

So i feel defeated. Ive basically been cleaning non stop everytime i use a room as per gov guidelines and he just doesnt seem to comprehend the severity of the situation. 

I decide i need to eat. So i opt for Shreddies with Oat Milk (Luke has a serious milk allergy to the milk proteins in cows milk so im not fussed about milk and am happy to use alternatives) topped with vanilla soya yogurt, bannana, a few cranberries, 3 strawberries, sultanas and crushed Almonds. My logical brain is telling me eat well as we are not leaving the bedroom again unless desperate. 

I send a few messages to the family whats app (Luke refuses to be a part of this) and receive encouraging and support in return. Everyone is struggling in their own way so i appreciate having a small outlet between us all.

After food i sleep finally. 

Trying now to Ready myself for round 2 which i know is coming.

My mum calls i dont want to answer but i do. I explain the situation. She knows, she has dealt with his angry behaviour since he was 11yrs old. She stated she is coming to visit Tuesday as per new gov guidelines and we will meet in the park. She then asks me to pass the phone to Luke which i pointblank refuse. Im not ready for round 2 yet. Especially since he has his own phone he is just not answering making everyone worry about him but he just resents it. Its safe to say im proud i refused to do something. Gold star award ⭐

Monday 25th

Mood/Anxiety -  still no change from yesterday but i decide i have to force myself to move. Wash, clean and pack the additional things my mum has requested. 

Additional meds - i decided against taking anything today as i need to be clear headed for my appointment Tues and obvs my mums visit.

I check the weather see its a nice day decide washing is task 1. I set a bath running (multi tasking saving time from all the free time) and head downstairs to pop the washing machine on. Before i left my room i checked my phone for messages i have one from my mum telling me she has had words with Luke and that he needs to basically deal with the resentment in a more positive way. 

This explains all the banging and loud music yesterday early eve. He decided to actually clean. 

Anyhow I head downstairs. Kitchen is clean, messages all wiped from the black board. 

I decide i must try and communicate with Luke as we cant take the conflict with us to the park it isnt fair to our mum. 

I can hear him moving so send a sms message asking if he wants anything in the oven. No response. ***He did finally get out of bed at 3pm so a peaceful day so far. 

I decide food is required. I opt for protein soya burgers x2 with Spinach, tomatos, avacado, sultanas, almond pieces and some crumpets. I sit in the garden to eat.

All washing is out and drying but im to anxiety ridden and unmotivated to enjoy the sunshine. 

I head back to my room to sort bits for my mum and throw away my origami collection. It was over taking my room and again causing conflict. 

Lukes awake!!!. I decide to say hello. So far so good. He decides to make himself lunch and throws a fit because i ate a £0.45 avocado. I walk away as i know he is just venting and i need to not start the circle of negative thoughts or interactions. This is rewarded with resentment. Luke suddenly decides to do his own washing and cut the grass. Which means my washing is in his way. Before he even starts i am pulling in whats dry mainly because i want to go back to bed and need my bedsheets but also because he wont care if my washing turns green or is damaged. To my delight my sheets are dry but my pjs etc need another 30mins so i leave them whilst i go and make my bed. 

Im bellowed at about washing as Luke needs the line. So i head down stairs to reteive the rest of my belongings. 

Self soothing thoughts...

Im walking on eggshells trying not to provoke the beast and i need to keep going. Focus on my achievements. I left my room. I cleaned myself, my clothing and my pillow fort which has been my safe zone for the past 4days. 

Deep down thought i am disappointed as i know isolation and distancing is not a long turn solution as the yrs pass im becoming more and more isolated and lonely. 

Im downstairs again and i ask Luke if he wants anything popping in the oven as i was having toast. He requested 2 burgers and chips but on seperate trays as he was hungry. Easy to do popped into the oven. 40mins later chips are cooked he is plating up and all he says is "why have you cooked so many chips, clearly we now live in a household of wastefulness". 

This was the turning point for me id had enough for 1day and just told him to give it a rest and went to my room. 

Im dozing with Big Bang on in the backround and Luke is banging on my door. Mums on the phone. Confirming arrangements for tomorrow. I say a few oks with the occasional nod. 

I start packing the bits n bobs my mum has asked for and carry then downstairs so theyre ready for the car tomorrow am. 

Its PJs and bed time. Luke has other ideas. He is awake and up and about at 4.30am. Having a bath at 5am, doing weights after his bath at 6am then leaves in the car at 7am. He is back around 8am banging has a shower then decides to leave again in the car. He is meant to be house-bound until July 1st. This in itself causes me anxiety as i cant handle watching another member of my family die in front of my eyes. 

Thoughts...

Yes this is VERY dramatic. STOP IT BRAIN!

Take precautions all will be ok. 

Tuesday 26th

Mood/Anxiety = No change 

Additional meds = 4mg diazipam but late afternoon as i couldnt stop shaking and fidgeting.

My mum is coming to visit. Im trying not to think about the fact Luke is out of the house. 

We are having a picnic social distancing style. 

We head to the coop as Luke has decided even after knowing our mum all his life never be on time, we have to be early. I buy Costa coffee, fresh bread, hummus, bananas, diet coke and some biscuits the nature valley ones theyre really good. Luke doesnt go into the shop I think at least he is listening to some rules. He rolls his eyes as i spray the shopping with dettol spray and use the alcohol hand sanitizer for my hands and door handle etc. I just tell him its how it needs to be done.

We find a perfect parking spot under a bunch of trees. I notice that all the trees are trimmed in a very even shelf across the bottom. It looked like it was designed perfectly for people to walk straight onto the park from the car park without having to fight with tree branches or go around.  But in actual fact its the deer. They eat the lower leaves this made me smile and relax for a moment. WIN.

My mum is late so im nervous that she is 

1. Stuck somewhere (over reaction)

2. Lost (over reaction)

3. Just running late (normal reaction) 

Im a tad fidgety as im aware i have an appointment in 2hrs. Hurry up MOTHER...

I ponder about work and whether or not ill still have a job to return too. Had an email this am stating theyre cutting 200jobs from the team i work in. So not sure if thats a good thing or not. But its also increasing my anxiety as ive read the email and now have a burning desire to do the research to see what my probability of keeping my job will be. Before my brain can go on a major tangent my mum arrives. 

Shes brought Oscar (her poodle) he is so excited to see me. And the big hairy fluff ball  gave me the biggest snuggles. He has a major Covid hairdoo. My mum doesnt hug me which hurts but i know she cant. 

Picnic time. We sit in the middle.of a field away from everyone. Social distancing 10/10. My mum has made me my favourite cakes, rock buns. (Apparently these are a northern thing) but im feeling the love. Its fairly chilled only 1 disagreement with Luke over blinkin avocados.

Im clock checking and aware of impending appointment, im a little (understated) nervous because ive not had positive relationships with therapists or doctors in the past.