#too exhausted to explain themselves ;-;
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phagodyke · 5 months ago
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was just saying to my friend that since my period is due next weekend I probably won't be able to hang out bc it'll be difficult to walk from my room to the bathroom let alone like. to the station anyway just suddenly became aware that the continuous cramps I get in this stage of my cycle have been slowly increasing in intensity the last few hours so we may be on course for a week earlier start than usual. locking down all defenses rn......🚹🚹🚹🚹
#i always try and mentally prepare for how much its gonna suck dick and balls but every time it actually starts im caught off guard#i hate being in agonising pain i dont wanna have to do it!!!!!#not as if anyone likes being in agonising pain anyway but still..... i mean if it does start tn that would definitely explain a lot#like the insane insecurity ive been having. and other symptoms. but it should be too early i didnt even ovulate that long ago#whatever man theres no rhyme or reason to it i should know that by now. the worst part is gonna be feeling alone when im in pain#well no its not the worst part is the pain but emotionally the loneliness is gonna wreck me i can never prepare enough for it#my problem is that i get extremely needy in pain it makes me feel like a fucking toddler. but i cant allow myself to be around ppl for#comfort and reassurance bc it gets so overwhelming im not able to maintain the usual rules n boundaries i have to follow#i mean im needy anyway all the time but at least i work hard to keep myself in check so i dont cross other ppls boundaries#losing that inhibition is just bad for everyone involved and really embarrassing for me so its easier to just suck it up and feel shite#and i get soooo tearful and easily upset over the stupidest shit like even if i can keep a lid on it and not throw myself at everyone#i get so jealous over other ppl being able to express themselves or getting comfort that i get fucking nauseous i cant be in the room#it makes me want to dieeee its dumb as fuck. anyway my point is. well i dont know what my point is actually#it might be best for me to skip next weeks plans anyway bc ill work myself into a fucking tizzy abt it in my post period exhaustion#i cant third wheel my friends while im in a state like that its too much. its hard enough third wheeling on a regular day anyway#like ok i get it u guys are much closer n have different boundaries w each other than u do w me. thats cool. please dont make me watch#when im feeling wretched and want things worse than normal. ugh anyway sorry ruminating again. i tried#just really anxious abt the pain properly starting but i know theres no avoiding it. oh well. ill take some painkillers in advance#i have some leather repair to work on and then i might draw a bit. and then back to cooking i have brisket slow cooking rn#so fingers crossed thatll take my mind off spiralling. sniffs pathetically#wait i need to go blind bake my tart lets start w that okayyy bye#.vent
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chron0ph0bia · 1 year ago
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you parents constantly telling u the shit that you've been trying to unlearn surely is smth
#my mum is very “tough it out” its all in your head meditate and never experience and emotional reaction this way. make rules for yourselfetc#shes the bhuddist equivalent of a bible quotes spewing christian basically. n its cool i know how to control my emotions and shit now but#thats my problem lmaooo. it took me counseling to learn how to feel emotions and im still not nailing it most times#also i used to be so strict about rules i made for myself like “u have to brish ur teeth before bed” that i would stay up until 4am not doi#anything because i was too tired to get up and go brush them until i passed out from exhaustion#unlearning that was very good for me right#mothers undiagnosed adhd most likely lmao and is just constantly teachibg me all the coping skills she developed#and its so fun cuz she just always tells me stuff she struggled with and im like mother youve been telling me this since i was born i GOT I#funnily enough i use all the meditation and bhuddist shit when talking to her specifically#every conversation is me going ok.. deep breath. think from her perspective. calmly explain and address. its not personal. getting agitated#would resolve nothing#and thats fascinating cuz when i moved out i was like oh you people dont receive the training of a bhuddist monk by age 5??#i had a roomate who i didnt get along with sadly who was the complete opposite and had learned to communicate via shouting and confrontatio#like thats literally how she communicated n i had such a hard time saying anything to her cuz id learnt to just go meditate till feeling go#away before talking to someone#like i never saw my parents shout at each other or argue in my life. they usually retired themselves from the situation#when i explained this shit to someone they were like “lucky u my parents fought all the time” my brother in christ youre not hearing me#you can be unhealthy in different ways.#my conclusion now is my mums a cool person just totally clueless on how to raise a child#like i remember feeling very unheard and bad about her becayse literally every sentence out of her mouth is a life lesson#and even if u catch her in a genuine social interaction with u she quickly corrects herself and brings the life wisdom back in#and even if she agrees with you shell go in a ten minute tangent because she wanted to talk about bhuddha when literally there was no point#fuck as a kid with adhd i remember it being torture#now i learnt how to deal with it better but good christ#and yeah just had to tell this to someone because i have the patience of a saint and its not being recognised#like even my cousin is always like you know how ur mom is cuz being lectured 24/7 is exhausting#and fr everytime i talk to her i have to be like “ok. now remind her subtly that you are a human being”#lmaoo#readme.txt
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verstappenverse · 28 days ago
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In Every City, It’s Still You
Pairing: Max Verstappen x Reader
Summary: After weeks of hiding your fears that Max cheats on the road, your confession leaves him heartbroken that you think so little of his love. (Requested)
2.2k words / Masterlist
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Max's texts come in at 2:13 a.m.
Landed. In the hotel now. I miss you.
Try to sleep.
Talk tomorrow. Love you.
You stare at your phone for a while, the bluish light casting sharp shadows over your face in the dark room. The words are sweet, comforting even, but they don’t settle the unease coiling low in your stomach. Your thumb hovers over the screen, hesitating.
You type, Miss you too. Sleep well, and hit send. But it feels... hollow.
It’s not him. Not really. Max hasn’t changed, he still texts you every time he lands, still calls you baby in that low, tired voice that makes your heart ache. But something around him has shifted, and you feel it all the way from home. The messages feel like a thread stretched too thin, too tight, trembling, like it might snap if you pull just a little harder.
Because it isn’t the distance anymore. It’s everything else.
It’s the way girls throw themselves at him in the paddock every day, effortlessly pretty, sun-kissed, always laughing too loudly when he’s around. The influencers in the hospitality suites who watch him like they already belong to him, cameras flashing like they have something to prove. The blonde in Canada who sat on the pit wall like it was her throne, perfectly poised and knowing exactly where the lenses were. The brunette in Imola who wore Max's number on her cheek like it meant something personal.
And you were... here. Alone in bed, scrolling through tagged photos with a growing ache in your chest and a nauseating swirl of insecurity you couldn't quite explain.
You know Max loves you. He told you. He shows you. But some nights, like tonight, you can’t stop the slow, creeping doubt. The fear that love isn’t always enough when you aren’t there. When someone prettier or bolder or more his world is.
You turn your phone face-down and blink hard into the ceiling, trying not to cry, because it isn’t him.
It’s you. Spiralling.
And you hate that you can’t stop.
It isn’t like Max has ever given you a reason to doubt him. He doesn’t flirt. He isn’t sneaky. He never makes you feel small or uncertain. He makes time for you, even when he’s exhausted and halfway across the world. He calls when he says he will. He texts when he’s landed. He checks in between meetings, between media, between practice sessions.
But even the most reassuring routines begin to feel fragile when you spend your nights alone, scrolling through social media feeds that turn love into a ticking time bomb.
On Twitter or TikTok it’s like cheating wasn’t just a possibility, it was a guarantee. People talk like it’s an open secret. Like all of them do it. Like staying faithful is a joke, not the norm.
And you hate how easily those posts get under your skin.
One comment in particular has lodged itself somewhere deep in your brain, rotting quietly.
You think any of them are faithful on the road? They’ve got girls in every city babes. You’re just the one they come home to.
You remember reading it in bed, the words hitting harder than you ever wanted to admit. You’d stared at it for too long, re-reading it like it was some kind of warning meant specifically for you.
Maybe it isn’t about Max. Maybe it’s just a bitter stranger talking from experience. But what if it wasn’t?
What if Max is different without you, surrounded by constant temptation and girls who don’t hesitate?
What if all the love you give to each other at home isn’t enough to hold his attention in Singapore, or Brazil, or Vegas?
What if you’re stupid for thinking you’re the exception?
The thought makes your stomach twist, hot and cold at the same time. You hate yourself for even questioning him, but the doubt creeps in anyway, quiet and venomous. Because love isn’t always louder than fear. And lately, fear has found a voice you can’t ignore.
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It comes out on a random Wednesday.
Max has a few days off and is finally back in Monaco with you, curled up on the couch, wearing sweatpants and eating cereal out of the box like he’s a college student and not a multiple world champion.
You’re quiet, distracted, picking at the hem of your sleep shorts while some Netflix show runs in the background.
“Babe?” he says, nudging your leg with his knee. “You okay?”
You nod too quickly. “Yeah. Just tired.”
He doesn’t buy it. “You’ve been weird since I got back from Canada.”
“Have I?”
Max sits up a little straighter, the playfulness gone. “Don’t do that.”
You swallow, staring at the bowl in your hands. You don’t meant to say it, but maybe you need to.
“I just
” you start, voice quieter than you expected. “I sometimes wonder what really happens when you're away.”
He blinks. “What do you mean?”
You feel your heart begin to race. There was no easy way to explain it, no version of this that wouldn’t hurt him. But keeping it inside had only made it worse. You take a shaky breath and force yourself to look at him, to see the confusion on his face.
“Okay
 just don’t take this the wrong way,” you say, voice trembling. “You’re surrounded by beautiful girls. All the time. At afterparties, on boats, in clubs. They throw themselves at you. And I know you say you love me, I do, I hear you, but
”
You pause, eyes searching his. “Max, people like you
 you have options.”
Silence.
You keep going, even though your throat feels like it’s closing. “I’m not accusing you of anything. I’m not. I just, I’ve seen what people say online. About how no driver, no athlete stays loyal. That it’s just how it is. That they all cheat. That it comes with the territory.”
You glance up again, and what you see in Max’s eyes feels like a punch to the stomach. Hurt. Pure, disbelieving hurt.
He stares at you like you’d just slapped him.
“You think I cheat on you?” he asks, voice low, almost stunned.
You flinch. “I don’t know. I think
 I think maybe you could. One day. And I wouldn’t even know.”
He stands up so fast the phone on his lap clatters to the floor.
“Jesus Christ, how could I not take that the wrong way?” he mutters, raking a hand through his hair. “You really think that little of me? You really think I’m capable of looking you in the eye and lying to you like that? Of touching someone else and then coming home to you like nothing happened?”
Your heart drops. “No, Max, that’s not—”
“You think I’m out there fucking around in every city I go to?” His accent thickens, voice rising with disbelief. “That I land and what? Just start looking for a warm body?”
“I didn’t say that—”
“You didn’t have to,” he snaps, pacing now. “You just implied that for all this time what, you’ve been sitting here imagining me cheating on you and not telling me?”
Your eyes sting. “I didn’t want to fight. I didn’t want to seem insecure.”
“You’d rather just assume I’m a liar?”
“No, Max, fuck—no. It’s not like that. It’s not even about you, it’s... God, it’s not even logical, okay?” You were scrambling now, words tumbling faster than your brain could sort them. “It’s just there’s this stigma, okay? That athletes are cheaters. That they all are. And I guess some part of me thought that was just
 part of the deal.”
Max stares at you like he can’t believe what he’s hearing. “So because other people fuck up their relationships, I’m guilty by association?”
“I’m not saying that.”
“You are, though,” he snaps, stepping back like your words burn. “You’re saying you don’t think I’ve done anything, yet, but you’ve already decided I probably will.”
“I’m saying I’ve seen it happen!” you cry. “To people who swore they’d never do it. Who looked just as in love as we are.”
Max stares at you for a long time, chest rising and falling.
Then, quietly, “You think I’d put you through that?”
Tears well up in your eyes. “No. But I’m scared that you could. That one day I won’t be enough.”
“You think I’d just wake up one day and decide you weren’t enough?” he asks, his voice cracking with raw emotion. “That I’d throw us away for what, something easy? Something empty?”
“I don’t want to think that,” you whisper. “But it’s like this constant voice in the back of my head saying, don’t get too comfortable. Saying people like me don’t keep people like you.”
Max looks like he wants to yell or be sick. His fists are clenched, jaw tight, frustration radiating off him.
Then, just as suddenly, his face crumples.
He sits back down.
And says, more softly than you expected, “I love you.”
You sniffle. “I know.”
“Clearly you don’t.” His voice cracks ever so slightly, a barely-there fracture that makes your heart squeeze. He swallows hard, throat bobbing, like the words were caught on something sharp on their way out. He looks down for a second, just a flick of his eyes, then back at you.
“I love you,” he says again, more deliberately this time. Slower. Like he wants you to feel every syllable. “I love you.”
His hands ran over his thighs before curling into loose fists again.
“Like
 when I’m away, I go to bed early because I miss you,” he says, voice soft but firm. “And I mean physically miss you. Like my chest fucking aches and everything feels too quiet and I stare at the ceiling hoping you’ll call even though I know you’re asleep.”
You blink, stunned by the rawness in his tone.
“I check my phone like an idiot,” he goes on, letting out a soft, bitter laugh. “Every five minutes. Just to see if you sent a stupid meme or said goodnight again. And if you didn’t, I reread the last thing you said. Because it makes me feel closer to you.”
You feel your eyes start to burn again, but he isn’t finished.
“When I come home and you’re here? It’s like—” He breaks off, searching for the right words, his brows knitting together. “It’s like I can breathe again. Like I stop being whatever version of me the rest of the world expects and I just
 exist. As me. As yours.”
He let’s out a breath, slower this time. Measured.
“I don’t care what people say. I don’t care what some idiot online thinks is ‘normal’ for a driver or a man or anyone in this life. I don’t care what the stereotype is. I don’t need a club full of models or some yacht party to feel important.”
His gaze locks onto yours, eyes fierce but tender.
“I don’t want options. I want you. You’re it for me. You always have been. And I need you to know that. Not just hear it, not just nod and say okay know it. Because I don’t have a backup plan. I don’t want one.”
He exhales, like saying all of it left him exposed in the best and worst way.
You wipe at your cheek. “I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry.”
He leans forward, elbows on his knees, voice hoarse. “Do you have any idea what it does to me to think you’ve been carrying that around? That you’ve been hurting because you’re afraid I’ll leave or stray or whatever the fuck people think drivers do?”
You shake your head. “It’s not fair to you. I know that.”
He exhales slowly, nodding. “No. It’s not. But I get it. I do.”
You look up.
“I’ve seen what fame does to people,” he says. “I’ve seen guys ruin good things for a pretty face and some attention. And I hate that you’ve had to wonder if I would do that to you.”
You feel like the smallest person alive. “Max, I’m so sorry.”
He reaches for your hand.
“I need you to trust me,” he says, fingers tightening around yours. “Not the version of me that strangers make up. Me. The guy who texts you at 2 a.m. because I can’t fall asleep without hearing from you. The guy who thinks about you twenty-four seven even when I’ve got a million other things to focus on. The guy who looks at other girls and doesn't feel a damn thing and only thinks, ‘none of them are you’.
You let out a shaky breath.
“I do trust you, I’m just terrified of losing you and—” you whisper, “I just let the noise get in my head.”
He pulls you into his chest.
“Next time it gets loud in there,” he murmurs against your hair, “you come to me. Let me be louder.”
You nod, arms wrapping around him tightly.
“I’m sorry,” you say again. “I love you so much.”
Max presses a kiss to your temple. “You’re mine. You hear me? I don’t want anyone else. Never have. Never will.”
You let the truth of that settle into your bones like warmth.
Maybe people will always talk. Maybe they’ll always be stories and rumours. Maybe they’ll always be stereotypes and assumptions and endless temptations.
But you aren’t dating a stereotype.
You’re dating Max.
And Max? He only ever wants you.
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luna-azzurra · 19 days ago
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Things Chronically Ill Characters Do...
(Just a note: This post isn't meant to romanticize or stereotype chronic illness. I'm writing this as someone who lives with autoimmune stuff myself, and this is just me trying to put words to the complicated, exhausting parts of it. If you relate, you're not alone.)
â€șâ€ș saying “I’m just tired” instead of explaining the 7 different types of exhaustion clawing at their body on a molecular level
â€șâ€ș downplaying everything because they’re used to people minimizing it anyway ("It's fine." = their pain scale is at a solid 7 and climbing)
â€șâ€ș adjusting how they sit, stand, breathe, like constantly doing invisible math to avoid triggering symptoms
â€șâ€ș taking meds in absolute silence, like it’s just another chore. no fuss, just part of the routine now
â€șâ€ș staring at their phone trying to decide if canceling again makes them a flake or just a person trying to survive
â€șâ€ș laughing when someone says, “you don’t look sick,” because yeah chronic illness didn’t get the memo to show up on their face
â€șâ€ș learning to read their body like it’s an unpredictable roommate, not an enemy, just unreliable
â€șâ€ș turning down something fun with that quiet, practiced sadness of someone who wants to be okay but knows they’re not today
â€șâ€ș wearing loose clothes, heating pads under sweaters, compression gear no one sees, choosing function over fashion and resenting it a little
â€șâ€ș Googling symptoms they’ve had for years anyway, because hope is persistent and maybe there’s a new answer today
â€șâ€ș carrying snacks, meds, water, and that emergency pack like a traveling medic, just for themselves
â€șâ€ș pretending to be fine in public and then needing hours to recover once they’re alone
â€șâ€ș getting weirdly good at hiding pain in their voice, until you hear them drop it, and it’s like oh. oh you’re not okay today
â€șâ€ș celebrating the weirdest little wins ("I walked across the room without needing to sit down!" = achievement unlocked)
â€șâ€ș flinching when people hug them too hard because ouch, actually
â€șâ€ș scheduling life around their body like it’s a part-time job that pays in exhaustion and guilt
â€șâ€ș crying in frustration, not from pain, but from the unfairness of having to constantly explain, justify, adapt, survive
â€șâ€ș falling in love with the people who don’t ask what’s wrong with you, but what do you need today?
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777bae · 5 months ago
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FALLING INTO PLACE LUKE HUGHES
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Summary :: You’ve always been best friends with Jack, but it’s his quieter, more patient brother Luke who’s been there all along. As you grow older, the bond between you and Luke transforms into something deeper, forcing you to finally see him in a new light.
Warnings :: reader is blind to love, small age gap (reader is the same age as Jack), unrequited love (+ a small amount of heartbreak), angst with eventual fluff, childhood friends(ish) to lovers, kissing, mini arguments, brief description of minor injuries, pining
Word count :: 22.3k
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The Hughes family had always been a part of your life.
From the moment you were born, they were there—just next door, just across the lawn, just within reach. Your parents had moved into the neighborhood the same year you and Jack were born, and from the time you were old enough to crawl, your lives had been tangled together like the overgrown vines on the fences separating your yards.
There was never a time when Jack Hughes wasn’t in your world. He was there for every scraped knee, every birthday candle, every summer afternoon spent chasing fireflies. The moment you took your first wobbly steps, Jack had been beside you, already running, already pulling you along with that infectious, boundless energy of his. He wasn’t just your neighbor; he was your person.
It was inevitable, really. Your parents had been close from the start, the kind of friendship that formed effortlessly when two young families found themselves living side by side, both navigating sleepless nights with newborns. Your mothers had bonded over shared exhaustion—late-night feedings, first words, first steps—and before long, you and Jack had become an extension of that bond.
He was the first friend you ever made. And for the longest time, he was the only one that mattered.
Your days had a rhythm, an unspoken routine that started long before either of you were old enough to understand what routine even meant.
Every morning—without fail—there was a knock on your bedroom window. Not a polite tap, not a soft greeting, but a loud, impatient thud thud thud that had your parents groaning in the next room, already knowing exactly who it was.
“Jack, sweetheart, use the front door like a normal person,” your mother had called out once, exasperated.
“But it’s faster this way!” Jack had shot back, as if that explained everything.
And so, every morning, you would shuffle to the window, still half-asleep, and push it open. Jack’s face—grinning, eager, already bursting with energy—would be waiting for you.
“Come on,” he’d say, bouncing on the balls of his feet. “We’re racing bikes today.” Or “Quinn says we can use his hockey net!” Or “Mom made waffles. You have to come over.”
It didn’t matter what the plan was. You always went. Because Jack always made everything sound like the most exciting thing in the world.
Some mornings, he barely gave you time to get dressed before dragging you outside. There were days when you stumbled out of your house still in your pajamas, only half-awake, your hair a tangled mess, while Jack was already running down the driveway, laughing over his shoulder, challenging you to catch up.
Other days, he climbed right into your room through the window, ignoring every possible protest, flopping onto your bed as if it was his own, acting like there was nothing unusual about breaking into his best friend’s house before 8 AM.
“Jack, you can’t just—”
“Hurry up, Y/N!” he’d groan dramatically, burying his face in your pillow. “We’re wasting daylight!”
You had long since stopped trying to argue with him.
The Hughes’ house wasn’t just Jack’s home—it was yours, too. It had been for as long as you could remember.
You knew that house like the back of your hand. You knew exactly which steps on the staircase creaked the loudest—the third from the bottom and the second from the top—making it impossible to sneak around undetected. You knew where Ellen kept the extra blankets in the hall closet, the ones you always pulled out when you inevitably fell asleep on their couch after a long day of playing outside. You knew that Jim liked his coffee strong and black, and that Jack—despite his endless energy—could never function properly before noon without something sweet to eat.
Their fridge might as well have been yours. You never thought twice about opening it and grabbing a snack, just as Jack never hesitated to raid your pantry for whatever chips or cookies your mom had bought that week. If the Hughes were ordering pizza, there was always an unspoken assumption that you were staying for dinner.
There were no formalities in their home. No knocking on doors, no need for permission. You walked in and out as freely as if it was your own house.
Ellen treated you like one of her own, scolding you and Jack equally when you got into trouble (which was often). Quinn, the responsible older brother, always made sure you were safe, always keeping an eye on you when Jack got too carried away. And Luke
 well, Luke had always been there, too.
The Hughes house was warmth and laughter, noise and chaos. It was yelling over video games in the basement, the sound of skates scraping against the driveway, the echo of Jack’s voice calling your name as he ran up to your door, never bothering to knock before barging in.
It was home.
You fit there. As if you had always belonged.
But Jack wasn’t the only Hughes brother in your life.
From the very beginning, Quinn had taken on the role of your unofficial older brother.
He was only a few years older than you and Jack, but at that age, those few years felt like a lifetime. He was bigger, stronger, wiser, as you and Jack had once believed. In a world where Jack was all reckless enthusiasm and boundless energy, Quinn was the counterbalance—the quiet, steady presence who made sure neither of you got into too much trouble.
It wasn’t that Quinn didn’t join in on the chaos—he did, when it suited him—but he was always the one who knew better. The one who thought things through. And, more often than not, the one who had to clean up whatever mess you and Jack inevitably got yourselves into.
If Jack came up with a stupid idea, it was Quinn who sighed, crossed his arms, and shook his head.
“You’re going to break something.”
“No, we’re not!” Jack would insist, already halfway through convincing you to do whatever dangerous, poorly thought-out scheme he had concocted that day.
Quinn would roll his eyes, mumbling something about how he was too young to be dealing with this, but he never truly left you to your own devices. Because when—not if, but when—Jack’s plan went sideways, Quinn was always the one to step in and make sure neither of you got too hurt.
When you were five, Jack decided he was going to make you a hockey player.
It was a rainy afternoon, and the three of you were stuck inside, boredom settling in like an itch that neither you nor Jack could stand for long. You had spent the last hour sitting in the Hughes’ living room, fidgeting, when Jack suddenly bolted upright, eyes lighting up with excitement.
“Let’s play mini sticks!” he had declared, already sprinting toward the basement.
You had barely even known what mini sticks were at the time, but you followed anyway, because that was just how things worked—Jack decided something, and you went along with it.
The moment you got downstairs, Jack shoved a tiny plastic stick into your hands and pointed at the net they had set up against the far wall.
“Okay, you have to score on me,” he said, crouching down in front of the goal, holding a goalie stick that was nearly as big as he was.
You looked down at the mini stick, then back at Jack.
“How?”
Jack groaned dramatically, as if your question physically pained him.
“Just hit the ball into the net! It’s not that hard!”
But it was hard. You didn’t know how to hold the stick properly, didn’t know how to control the ball, and every time you tried to take a shot, it rolled harmlessly to Jack’s feet.
Jack, to his credit, lasted all of three minutes before he got frustrated.
“No, no, no!” he huffed, marching over to you. “You’re doing it all wrong!”
“Well, I don’t know how to do it right!” you shot back, annoyed.
Jack groaned again, clearly ready to give up, but before he could, another voice chimed in.
“Here—like this.”
You looked up to see Quinn kneeling beside you, his own mini stick in hand. Unlike Jack, he was patient. He adjusted your grip, gently moving your hands into the right position. He showed you how to angle your stick, how to follow through on a shot.
“It’s all about control,” he explained, demonstrating with an easy flick of his wrist. The ball soared cleanly into the top corner of the net.
Your eyes widened. That was how you were supposed to do it?
“Try again,” Quinn encouraged, nudging the ball toward you.
You did. And this time, the shot actually had some power behind it. Not much—but enough.
Quinn smiled.
Jack groaned.
“Okay, fine, she’s kinda good,” Jack admitted.
But even after that, whenever you struggled with something—hockey or otherwise—it was always Quinn you turned to. Because where Jack would get frustrated and impatient, Quinn would always take the time to help.
Jack’s impulsive nature meant that you got into a lot of trouble growing up.
One summer, when you were seven, Jack had come up with what he insisted was a foolproof plan—jumping off the swing at its highest point to see who could land the farthest.
“It’s so easy,” Jack had said, already climbing onto the seat. “You just have to time it right.”
You had been hesitant.
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, obviously.”
Quinn, standing a few feet away with his arms crossed, had sighed heavily.
“You’re going to break your arm, idiot.”
Jack ignored him.
And, predictably, about five seconds later, Jack launched himself off the swing, flailed wildly in the air, and landed in an ungraceful heap on the grass.
To his credit, he hadn’t broken his arm. But he had managed to knock the wind out of himself so badly that he lay there gasping like a fish while Quinn stood over him, unimpressed.
“I told you,” Quinn muttered, before turning to you. “Do not listen to him.”
You listened. Mostly.
But there were still plenty of times when Jack managed to drag you into his ridiculous plans. And, inevitably, there were times when you got hurt.
There had been one particular summer afternoon when Jack had dared you to race him down the street on your bikes.
“I bet I can beat you by so much,” he had taunted, grinning as he climbed onto his bike.
“You wish,” you had shot back, determined to win.
The race had started off fine—pedaling furiously, wind rushing past your face, Jack laughing beside you—but then you hit a pothole.
The bike jolted violently. You lost control.
And the next thing you knew, you were flying over the handlebars.
Pain exploded across your knees and palms as you skidded across the pavement, the impact knocking the breath from your lungs.
Jack had screeched to a stop, his face a mask of horror.
“Oh my God. Oh my God—are you okay?!”
Your knees were scraped raw, blood trickling down your shins, and your palms stung so badly you thought they might be on fire. You wanted to be tough, wanted to brush it off, but your throat was tight, and tears were already pricking at your eyes.
And then, before you even had time to process what had happened, Quinn was there.
“Jesus, you guys,” he muttered, crouching beside you.
You sniffled, still trying to hold back tears, but Quinn didn’t make a big deal about it. He just scooped you up into his arms, lifting you effortlessly, and started walking you home.
“You’re okay,” he said, voice calm and steady. “We’ll get you cleaned up.”
Jack trailed behind, looking guilty as hell.
“I—I didn’t think she’d actually fall,” he mumbled.
Quinn shot him a look.
“Of course she fell, Jack. You two don’t think before you do anything.”
Jack had no argument for that.
But even as Quinn sighed, even as he grumbled about “having to babysit two disasters,” you knew he cared.
Because Quinn never let anything happen to you.
And he never would.
Then there was Luke.
Luke had been there from the almost start, having arrived two years late to the world you and Jack had already built together.
It wasn’t that he was unwelcome—not at all. But in the early years, he had been younger—just enough behind you and Jack that the gap felt significant. When you were five, he was three. When you and Jack were racing bikes down the street, Luke was still on training wheels. When you were climbing trees and dangling from the highest branches, Luke was stuck at the bottom, his small hands barely able to reach the first grip.
And no matter how much he wanted to be included, the truth was, there were just some things he was too little for.
Where Jack dragged you into every wild idea that popped into his head, Luke was the one who stood on the sidelines, watching. His wide, eager eyes followed your every move, his tiny fists clenched with determination, his whole body buzzing with the desperate hope that this time—this time—you and Jack might let him in.
“Can I play?” he would ask, gripping his little hockey stick so tightly his knuckles turned white, his gaze flicking between you and Jack.
Jack, more often than not, would groan. “Luke, you’re too little.”
And because Jack was your best friend—the leader of every game, the one who decided what was and wasn’t fun—you had gone along with it.
“Maybe next time, Lukey,” you had said, ruffling his hair before turning to chase after Jack, never noticing the way Luke’s shoulders slumped as he watched you run away.
Luke always wanted to be part of your world.
But back then, you had only seen him as Jack’s little brother.
That didn’t stop Luke from following you both everywhere.
If you and Jack were playing knee hockey in the basement, Luke was there, sitting on the sidelines, cross-legged on the carpet, watching intently. If Jack scored, Luke cheered. If you fell, Luke was the one scrambling up to check if you were okay before Jack even noticed.
If you and Jack were racing across the backyard, Luke was trailing behind, his little legs working furiously to keep up, his breath coming in short, determined puffs.
“Wait for me!”
“Luke, hurry up!” Jack would yell, already halfway across the lawn.
And Luke would hurry. He always hurried, always pushed himself to the limit just to try and close the distance, just to prove that he could keep up with you and Jack.
But more often than not, by the time he caught up, the game had already changed. Jack had already moved on to something bigger, something better.
And Luke—still catching his breath, still trying to process the game that had just ended—would be left standing there, watching as you and Jack disappeared into the next adventure without him.
But Luke never left.
Even when he wasn’t included, even when Jack brushed him off or you followed Jack’s lead without a second thought, Luke stayed.
Because if he couldn’t play, then he would watch.
And when Jack inevitably got bored and abandoned a game to chase after something else—when his attention flitted from knee hockey to soccer to wrestling to something entirely new—Luke was the one who stayed behind.
If Jack left the net in the basement empty, Luke picked up a stick and asked you to shoot on him instead.
If Jack abandoned a game of tag to go inside for a snack, Luke asked you to keep playing.
He never demanded your attention the way Jack did. Never insisted that you pick him first, never threw tantrums when he was left out.
He just waited.
Waited for the moments Jack wasn’t around.
Waited for the moments you finally turned to him.
And you? You never really thought much of it.
Not then.
To you, Luke was just there.
Just part of the background of your life—always orbiting close by, always tagging along if it meant he could be newr you.
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It was the summer you were seven, a time when everything still felt simple and innocent. The world was filled with endless possibilities, and your days were spent on adventures with your best friend, Jack. You both had a rhythm—an unspoken understanding that no matter what, you would always be together, running, playing, dreaming. The world had no limits when Jack was by your side. And that evening, in particular, was no different. Or so you thought.
The sun was beginning to set, casting a warm, golden glow over the park, the colors in the sky blending into soft hues of orange and pink. The kind of evening that made everything look surreal, like the entire world was pausing to admire the beauty of the moment. You and Jack were sitting on your usual bench—the wooden one that creaked under the weight of years of memories, positioned perfectly to overlook the expansive field that stretched out before you. The warm summer breeze rustled the leaves of the nearby trees, and the sweet scent of freshly cut grass mixed with the distant hum of crickets chirping in the cooling air.
Jack was sitting beside you, legs dangling off the edge of the bench, his sneakers brushing against the ground as he swung his feet back and forth. He was talking, as he always did, hands gesturing wildly as he described yet another hockey game he’d watched on TV with his dad or something that had happened on the ice at practice. His voice was animated, full of the kind of energy that made it impossible not to pay attention. His dark brown eyes were wide with enthusiasm as he recounted the details—who scored the most goals, what move one of the players had pulled off, how he couldn’t wait to try it himself in his next game. It wasn’t surprising to you; hockey was everything to Jack. He lived and breathed it, and you could tell by the way he spoke, by the way his hands moved in the air to illustrate what he was saying, that this game, this sport, was a piece of his very identity.
You smiled at him, your head tilted back against the cool wood of the bench as you half-listened, half-watched the way his face lit up. Jack had always been a little bit wild in his energy. There was something so captivating about the way he threw himself into everything. Whether it was talking about hockey, creating new games to play, or just dragging you along on some new adventure, Jack’s passion was infectious.
But tonight—tonight something felt different. It wasn’t that Jack was any less enthusiastic about hockey, but there was a subtle shift in the air between the two of you. As he spoke, his words becoming more animated, you couldn’t help but feel a flutter of something unfamiliar. It was a strange sensation that started somewhere in the pit of your stomach and spread out, slowly working its way into your chest. Maybe it was just the energy of the evening—the warm glow of the setting sun, the peacefulness of the park, or maybe it was something else, something you didn’t fully understand yet. But as Jack’s words flowed around you, you found yourself caught in a strange mix of emotions that you couldn’t name.
You were used to listening to him talk about hockey, about his dreams and his wild plans, but tonight, for the first time, you weren’t just hearing the words. You were feeling them.
You turned to look at him, still speaking at full speed, his words coming faster now, his enthusiasm growing with every sentence. He didn’t even notice you watching him in that way, the way you were suddenly hyper-aware of every little movement—how his hands were moving as he spoke, how the sun reflected off his hair, how his voice had a different cadence tonight, more alive, more
 intimate, for lack of a better word. It wasn’t anything tangible. There was no clear reason for why it felt different, but the air between you seemed to hum with a silent understanding that had never been there before.
But then, in the midst of his animated storytelling, Jack turned to you with that familiar mischievous grin, the one that always made your heart flutter a little. You had known that grin for as long as you could remember. It was the kind of grin that meant Jack was about to do or say something unexpected, something that would probably make you laugh or roll your eyes, depending on the day. But tonight, something about it felt different.
Jack was always a whirlwind of energy, the kind of kid who could never sit still for more than five seconds. He had an incredible ability to make anything sound like the best idea in the world. And when he spoke, it was with an infectious excitement, like the entire world was waiting for him to tell it what to do. He could make even the simplest things feel like the start of some grand adventure. And, for the most part, you always followed him. He was your best friend, your partner in crime, and his ideas were always bigger than yours, always more fun.
“We should get married when we’re older,” he said, completely casually, as though it was the most obvious thing in the world.
You blinked, your mind briefly stalling as you processed the words. Your head turned toward him in confusion, trying to make sense of what he’d just said. You weren’t sure whether he was joking, serious, or if it was just another one of his wild ideas. It had to be a joke, right?
“What?” you asked, your voice barely above a whisper, like you weren’t sure if you’d heard him correctly. You tilted your head, looking up at him with a puzzled expression.
Jack didn’t seem to notice the sudden tension in the air. He just smiled wider, clearly pleased with himself for getting your attention. His eyes sparkled as he leaned back, still sitting on the bench beside you, looking out at the sunset like it was the most natural thing in the world. He always had a way of making everything sound so simple, so easy. Like the world was just a place where everything worked out the way it was supposed to. And this—this idea—was no different.
“You can’t just decide that,” you said with a playful shove, trying to brush it off. You wanted to laugh, to keep things light, because it felt like a joke, right? Jack was your best friend, and this was just another one of his offhand remarks. You nudged his shoulder gently, trying to play along, but deep down, you felt a strange fluttering sensation in your chest that you didn’t fully understand.
Jack, however, didn’t back down. His smile didn’t waver for a second. In fact, he seemed to lean into it, as if it was the most natural thing in the world. He was so sure of himself, his confidence radiating in the way he sat there, relaxed and unfazed by the unexpected question he had just tossed into the air. It was as if he had always known this was where the conversation would lead.
“Why not?” he said with a shrug, as though it was an entirely reasonable suggestion. “You’re my best friend. And married people are best friends, right?”
The words hit you differently than you’d expected. You’d heard about marriage before, sure, but it was always in fairy tales, with knights and princesses and happily-ever-afters. You didn’t really know what marriage meant in a deep, meaningful way, but you understood one thing—Jack was asking you to be with him forever. And though you didn’t know exactly what that looked like, the idea of it felt warm, like the gentle glow of the setting sun.
You laughed, trying to push down the feeling welling up inside you. It was absurd. It was just Jack being Jack, always saying the first thing that popped into his head. Of course, it didn’t mean anything serious. You weren’t even sure he understood what he was really saying.
But still
 something about the way he said it—so casually, so confidently—made your heart beat just a little bit faster. The idea of always being with him, of never being apart, settled somewhere deep in your chest. And for the first time, the word “marriage” didn’t feel like a fairy tale. It felt like a real possibility.
You opened your mouth to respond, but the words caught in your throat. The playful, teasing tone you wanted to use felt wrong all of a sudden. Jack’s grin hadn’t faltered, and his eyes were sparkling with the kind of certainty that only he could have. But you weren’t sure anymore whether you were laughing because it was funny, or because it felt real. Too real.
“Yeah, but
” you trailed off, staring at the ground for a moment, unsure of how to explain the confusion that was building inside of you. “We’re just kids. You can’t just decide to get married.”
Jack didn’t seem to think it was a big deal. He shrugged again, unbothered by your hesitation. “Why not? You’re my best friend. We’ve always done everything together. It just makes sense.”
His words lingered in the air, carrying a strange weight you hadn’t expected. His logic was simple, almost childishly so, but it struck something inside of you that made your chest tighten. You looked at him, really looked at him, for what felt like the first time in ages. Jack wasn’t just your best friend. He was something else, something more. And suddenly, you were hyper-aware of everything—the way his hand rested just inches from yours, the way the sun hit his hair, casting a golden halo around him. His words echoed in your mind. It just makes sense.
You felt a sudden rush of warmth flood your chest, spreading outward like the soft heat of the sun sinking lower on the horizon. You wanted to brush it off, to laugh it off, to keep things the way they always had been between the two of you. But deep down, you knew something had shifted.
You hadn’t asked for it, hadn’t expected it, but suddenly you couldn’t imagine a world where Jack wasn’t your best friend, where he wasn’t the person you shared every adventure with. And the thought of being by his side, of being his in a way that was more than just friends, settled over you in a way that made your heart race.
But it didn’t make sense, right? Not now. You were just seven. You didn’t know what marriage was supposed to mean. You didn’t know what love was. It was silly, wasn’t it? Just a passing thought.
Still, something inside you—something deep and soft—wanted it to be real. Wanted Jack to be that person. Always.
Behind you, just a few feet away, Luke had been quietly swinging, his tiny legs kicking rhythmically, the chains of the swing creaking softly with each motion. It had been a peaceful moment for him, one of those simple, innocent afternoons where he felt content in his small world. But now, in the middle of your conversation with Jack, something shifted for him.
Luke had always been content in his little world, his world of swings and sunsets, of quiet afternoons that stretched on forever. There was something peaceful about the way he lived, the simplicity of his routine, and the certainty that his big brother, Jack, would always be there beside him. And you—you had always been a steady presence in that world too, a familiar face in the background, someone who would push him on the swing when he asked or cheer him on when he kicked the ball to the other side of the yard.
But today, something was different. The moment he stopped swinging—dragging his feet against the ground, the sudden halt so jarring that the swing swayed a little before coming to a stop—it was like the entire air around him had shifted. He didn’t quite understand why, but something in his chest felt tight, something unsettled bubbled up from deep inside him. His feet dragged through the dirt, and his small body seemed to freeze mid-motion. The world around him, so familiar and safe just moments ago, now felt too big, too loud, too heavy.
He didn’t quite know what it was that had made him stop, but he couldn’t seem to pull himself away from it. Something in the way you and Jack were talking made him feel like he didn’t quite fit anymore. At first, he hadn’t understood the words—you were talking about things he didn’t know about, like the future and marriage, things that didn’t make sense to him at all. But it wasn’t the words themselves that caught his attention. It was the way you were both acting, the way you were standing there, so close to each other, like there was something that didn’t include him. Like there was a secret between you two, something that made him feel like he was no longer part of the picture.
His hands, which had once been gripping the swing chains tightly, now hung limp at his sides. He could feel the stillness in his body, a strange weight settling in his chest. He looked at you both, his little body small in comparison, trying to make sense of the way you were standing together, the way your attention was so entirely focused on Jack’s words, as though he was no longer someone who mattered in the conversation. You were his world too. You had always been his world. But now
 now he wasn’t so sure.
Luke didn’t understand what was happening. Not really. He didn’t know what it meant when Jack said, “We should get married when we’re older.” All he knew was that something had shifted in the air, something unspoken, and it made him feel small. He wasn’t sure why, but the words left an ache in his chest that didn’t quite make sense. The way Jack spoke about it—so casually, so easily—made Luke feel like he was standing in the middle of something big, something important that he couldn’t be a part of. And for the first time, he felt like an outsider in a world he had once felt so safe in.
His feet shuffled in the dirt, but he didn’t move. He just stood there, feeling the uncomfortable tension settle deeper in his little heart. His big eyes, full of curiosity and innocence, were fixed on you both. But there was no joy in them, no spark of the usual childlike wonder. Instead, there was a quiet sadness, an intensity that seemed far too old for a seven-year-old. He wasn’t sure what to do with himself. He didn’t understand why he felt left out, why his world suddenly felt off-balance.
The truth was, he had always looked up to Jack. Jack had been his hero, his older brother, the one who showed him the ropes, made him laugh, and taught him how to throw a ball. But now, in this moment, Luke could sense a shift—a shift that was happening between you and Jack, one that made him feel like there was a new kind of connection between you two that he wasn’t part of. Something unspoken, something important. And that feeling of not being included, not being part of whatever was happening, felt too big for him to carry.
His little shoulders hunched, trying to make himself smaller, trying to avoid the strange feelings crawling up his spine. His feet dragged a little more as he turned away, walking back toward the swings, but he didn’t swing this time. He didn’t know if he could swing anymore, not with the weight in his chest, not with the way his mind felt heavy and confused. So, instead, he just stood there, watching the two of you, trying to make sense of it all.
From his vantage point, everything seemed too complicated. The way you and Jack laughed, how you exchanged looks, the way your attention was so fully on him—it was all so much. It wasn’t like it had been before. It wasn’t like the afternoons where you would smile at him and push him on the swing, where everything felt simple and clear. Now, there was a distance that seemed impossible to bridge, even though he had no idea what it was. All he knew was that he wanted to be a part of it again. He wanted to be included in that world, but he didn’t know how to get back to it.
He glanced over his shoulder at you once more, his eyes full of that quiet sadness, and in that moment, it felt like you were so far away. As if you had crossed some invisible line, and now there was a space between you that couldn’t be closed. His heart hurt. It didn’t make sense. He didn’t even understand marriage, but he understood the feeling—the feeling of not being enough, of not being included in something that had once been his.
But then, just as quietly, he turned back toward the swing. It was all he could do, this small child with no words for the ache in his chest, with no way to express the confusion that was crawling through his mind. He started to push the swing gently with his foot, the creaking chains barely audible over the stillness that hung in the air. But even as he moved, there was a heaviness in him, a quiet realization that something had changed. And that change—whatever it was—made him feel like he was standing on the outside looking in.
He couldn’t understand everything, not yet. But he could feel it. He could feel the change. And that was enough to make him pause, to make him stop swinging, to make him turn away. Because even without the words, he knew that whatever was happening between you and Jack was something that didn’t quite fit with the world he had always known. And in that small, quiet moment, he realized something that made his chest ache all the more: he was no longer the center of that world.
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The lake house had always felt like a second home to you. It wasn’t just the lake that made it special, or the house itself, but the feeling of being away from everything familiar, yet somehow closer to everyone that mattered. That first summer you were invited to spend there when you were eight was a turning point in your childhood, a mark in time where everything seemed to shift, like the beginning of a chapter in a story that you didn’t know was going to be so important.
It was the first day, when the sun was still high and the smell of fresh pine and saltwater clung to the air, that you felt the magic of it all. You and Jack had already wasted no time in rushing to the water, shoes abandoned on the dock as you dove in, laughing, splashing, racing to see who could swim the fastest to the floating platform in the middle of the lake.
“I’m going to beat you!” Jack called, swimming ahead, his strokes cutting through the water with ease.
You kicked harder, determined not to let him win. “You wish!” you shouted back, splashing water in his direction.
“Last one there is a rotten egg!” Jack laughed, kicking his legs to build speed, his eyes bright with excitement.
But you could feel the burn in your muscles, the fatigue setting in as the floating platform grew closer. Jack was always faster, always the one who would win the challenges you came up with, but that didn’t matter. He made it fun—he always did. Every game felt like a race, and every race felt like it was the most important thing in the world. You were in it together, the two of you, as if nothing else mattered.
You finally reached the platform, gasping for breath, and Jack was already standing there, grinning with triumph. “You’re getting slow,” he teased, splashing water in your face.
You wiped your eyes and smirked. “I let you win,” you said, playfully sticking your tongue out at him.
“Yeah, sure,” Jack laughed, rolling his eyes. “But next time, I’m not going to make it so easy for you.”
You both floated there, letting the water gently rock you, eyes squinting up at the bright sky above. The feeling of the cool water against your skin was enough to make the heat of the summer day feel far away. But then, just as you were catching your breath, you noticed him.
Luke.
He was standing on the edge of the dock, his small frame barely noticeable as he gripped the edge tightly, watching you and Jack with wide eyes. He wasn’t in the water like you, wasn’t playing along with the games. He was just there, standing a little off to the side, as always.
You were so used to Jack’s loud presence, his infectious energy that drew everyone in, that it took a moment for you to really see Luke. He wasn’t as loud, wasn’t as reckless. He wasn’t the one making every day an adventure like Jack did. But there was something about the way he looked at you—something quiet and unspoken—that made your heart twinge. You were used to Luke tagging along, used to him always watching from the sidelines, but in that moment, it felt like something more. It felt like he was waiting for something that you couldn’t give him, at least not in the same way you gave Jack.
“Luke!” you called, waving at him from the water. “Come in, it’s awesome!”
Luke hesitated, his small fingers tightening on the dock as he glanced at Jack, who was still lounging on the platform. “I don’t know
” Luke mumbled, his voice quiet, unsure.
Jack perked up at the sound of his brother’s voice. “What’s the matter, Lukey? You scared?” He flashed a teasing grin, but there was a hint of challenge in his words.
Luke’s face scrunched, his little brows furrowing. “No,” he muttered, though there was no conviction behind it.
“Come on, Luke!” you called again, trying to sound enthusiastic. “It’s not that deep, and we’re having so much fun! You’ll love it!”
He bit his lip, clearly torn, before his shoulders sagged in defeat. “Okay. Fine.” He pulled off his sneakers and set them beside the dock, dipping one foot into the water cautiously.
You and Jack watched him for a moment, both of you already knowing that Luke wasn’t as confident as you were in the water. But after a few more encouraging shouts, Luke finally stepped in, wading slowly, his head barely above the water. You swam over to him, grinning.
“I knew you could do it!” you said, reaching out and offering him your hand. “Come on, we’re gonna race back to the dock.”
Luke took your hand, his grip tight but still tentative. He glanced at Jack, who had already started swimming back toward the shore. “I don’t think I can beat you two.”
“You don’t have to beat us,” you said with a shrug, smiling warmly. “Just swim with us. It’s more fun that way.”
He seemed to relax a little at your words, and for a few moments, the three of you swam together, splashing and laughing, the water cool against your skin. But even as you swam and played, you couldn’t shake the feeling that Luke wasn’t quite part of the same world as you and Jack. He was there, yes, but it wasn’t the same. He wasn’t as comfortable in the water, wasn’t as reckless in the way he approached everything. He seemed to linger at the edges of every game, a little hesitant to jump in fully, waiting for the perfect moment.
The sun soon set, leading the group of you to settle around the fire pit. As the flames crackled, casting their warm orange glow against the night, Luke couldn’t help but feel a sense of unease settling into his chest. He sat on the edge of the fire, a little further away from everyone else, trying to blend into the background. Jack’s ghost stories were always a source of amusement for everyone, but for Luke, they felt different. It wasn’t the ghosts themselves—he wasn’t afraid of that—but the way his older brother’s voice seemed to pull all the attention, to draw everyone in so effortlessly. And the way you—you—would laugh and play along, giving Jack that familiar, easy smile that made Luke’s heart flutter in a way he couldn’t ignore.
Luke had always been quiet, content with simple games and easy fun, where he didn’t have to think too much about anything. But lately, something had been shifting, and it seemed to revolve around you. It was as though something had clicked that afternoon a few weeks back—something small, but unmistakable—and now, as he sat on the edge of the firelight, his eyes kept drifting to you. Your laughter rang out as Jack continued with his stories. Every time Jack made a dramatic gesture or spoke in his spooky voice, you would laugh, your eyes lighting up with amusement, and Luke’s chest tightened with something he didn’t understand.
There was something in the way you looked at Jack—a warmth, a familiarity—that made Luke feel as though he was standing on the outside of a world he wasn’t allowed to be a part of. He wasn’t angry, exactly, just
 distant. A seed of something had been planted in his chest, and it made him feel like he was growing up too fast, like everything around him was changing in ways he couldn’t keep up with.
As Jack’s voice dropped into that familiar eerie tone, Luke tried to focus on the flames. But the words Jack spoke carried a weight that Luke couldn’t shake.
“
and they say the ghost of the old man still haunts the lake,” Jack was saying, his voice dropping to an almost whisper, “waiting for someone to come too close to the water. They say if you stand on the dock at midnight, you can hear his footsteps behind you, dragging along the wood
”
You let out a little laugh and elbowed Jack in the side. “Jack, come on, that’s the oldest story in the book! You’re just trying to scare us.”
Jack grinned, clearly enjoying the reaction. “You don’t know that!” He leaned in closer, his voice lowering even further. “They say if you get too close to the edge, he’ll grab your ankle and pull you in, dragging you down into the depths of the lake, never to be seen again
”
You made a face, clearly pretending to be spooked. “Okay, okay, I’ll bite. But I’m still not scared.”
Luke found himself watching you intently as Jack wove his tale, his words spinning a web of eerie suspense. There was something in the way you played along—how you looked at Jack with that warm, teasing affection—that made something stir inside of him. But it was the way you glanced over at him in that moment, your eyes briefly catching his, that made his heart leap in his chest.
When you reached out and grabbed Luke’s arm during the spookiest part of the story, he froze. For a moment, he thought maybe it was just his imagination, but then he felt your fingers—warm and firm—wrap around his wrist. The touch was small, but it sent a rush of heat through him, making his heart race in his chest. He clenched his fingers instinctively, as if afraid the moment would slip away too quickly if he didn’t hold on. It felt like the whole world paused, and Luke couldn’t stop the flush that crept up his neck.
His fingers felt large and awkward beneath yours, but you didn’t pull away. And for that one brief moment, the ghost story, Jack’s teasing, everything else seemed to fade into the background. He was lost in the quiet of the space between you, the warmth of your hand on his wrist.
But then, just as quickly, you let go, laughing again, your fingers slipping from his. The moment passed so easily, so quickly, as if it had never happened at all. And Luke was left staring at his own hand, the lingering warmth still there, the ache in his chest growing.
Jack’s voice brought him back to the present. “And that’s when they say you’ll hear the screams of the old man, echoing across the water
”
Luke barely heard the rest. He didn’t want to hear it. Instead, he found himself once more focusing on you, sitting next to Jack, your laughter mixing with the sounds of the night.
The group moved down to the dock, and Luke stayed behind, slipping his feet into the cool water. The night was beautiful—deep and vast, the stars scattered above like jewels—but the beauty did little to soothe the tightness in his chest. He glanced over at you again, now lying on the dock next to Jack, both of you staring up at the stars. Jack was rambling on about his plans for the future, his voice excited, and you were listening so intently, leaning toward him. The way you looked at Jack, the way you gave him your full attention, made Luke feel even more distant.
Jack’s enthusiasm was too loud. His laughter rang too sharp against the silence, and Luke found himself retreating further into the stillness of the water, where he didn’t have to fight for attention. Where he could be just there, unnoticed, and just try to understand the confusion that swirled inside him.
It was Quinn who broke the silence, standing at the edge of the dock, his eyes catching Luke’s. The older boy had a way of knowing things without needing to be told. Quinn’s gaze softened, his expression unreadable, but Luke could sense the shift in him. The quiet understanding.
Luke quickly turned his eyes back to the water, not wanting Quinn to see, not wanting anyone to know how much he was changing inside. But Quinn had already seen it.
A small, almost knowing smile curled at Quinn’s lips. He nodded once, just a slight tilt of his head, as if acknowledging the unspoken shift that had started to settle in Luke’s heart.
Quinn didn’t say anything. He didn’t need to. And in that moment, Luke felt something settle in his chest—something lighter, something like reassurance. He wasn’t sure if Quinn understood everything, but he felt a little less alone in it all.
But the night carried on, and Luke stayed at the edge of the world, staring at the stars, waiting for something to change, waiting for the gap between him and the rest of the world to close. He didn’t want to be left behind. Not anymore. But the ache inside him—stronger than before—was something he wasn’t sure how to share. He wasn’t sure how to bridge the gap between the feeling he had and the words he couldn’t find.
For now, though, he stayed silent. He stayed at the edge of the dock, watching the night pass by, hoping that one day, it would all come together. That the ache in his chest would make sense, and maybe, just maybe, he wouldn’t have to carry it alone anymore.
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The summers always stretched on endlessly, the lake house becoming more familiar with each passing day, and yet every time you and Jack rushed down the dock or leapt off the platform, the excitement felt new. It was a rhythm you had come to depend on, like the pulse of the water beneath you, the steady pattern of life that had taken root here by the lake.
But despite the constant flow of games and adventures, there were moments when the world seemed to slow, when the noise of the days fell away, leaving only the stars, the soft rustle of the trees, and the quiet company of Luke.
One of those nights had arrived by the end of the week, when the air had turned cool, and the sky stretched out above you like an endless canvas. You and Jack had spent the entire day competing—arguing over who could jump from the highest point on the dock, who could hold their breath underwater the longest, who could run from the house to the dock in the shortest time. It was the same thing every summer, the same challenges, the same breathless laughter. But as the sun disappeared beyond the horizon, fatigue settled into your limbs, and for once, you and Jack let yourselves slow down.
Jack had gone inside to grab some snacks, leaving you alone with Luke.
Luke had been sitting quietly at the edge of the dock, his legs crossed, his hands braced behind him as he leaned back to stare at the night sky. He wasn’t as loud as Jack, never the first one to dive into the chaos, but there was something about the way he existed in these moments—so quietly, so fully—that made it feel like he belonged here just as much as anyone else.
You stretched out beside him, letting your legs dangle off the dock, the cool wood pressing against your bare skin. The air smelled like pine and lake water, thick with the warmth of the day fading into the crispness of the evening. The kind of night that felt so still, like everything in the world had paused just to let you breathe.
Luke shifted slightly beside you, and you noticed how he always sat a little closer than usual, how his knee brushed against yours every now and then as if he couldn’t quite figure out the space between you. But he didn’t say anything, and neither did you.
Instead, you both just watched the stars, the quiet of the night wrapping around you like a blanket.
From Luke’s perspective, everything felt like it was slowing down.
The stars were so big tonight. They seemed to stretch on forever, like they were waiting for him to notice. He didn’t often sit this still, didn’t usually spend his time just watching the sky. There were rocks to skip and trees to climb, adventures to go on. But tonight, it felt different. Maybe it was the way the night air cooled his skin, the way the breeze felt like a promise, or the way you were beside him, the only sound your soft breaths mixing with the rustle of leaves in the trees.
He glanced at you. You looked so comfortable, so at ease, like the world was something you understood in a way he couldn’t quite grasp. Luke had always been quieter than Jack. He didn’t speak as easily, didn’t have the same kind of loud energy that Jack did. But in these moments with you, he didn’t feel like he needed to be anyone else. He didn’t need to act like Jack, didn’t have to say anything clever or jump into a race to prove himself.
Your quiet presence was enough.
But it was also something else. Something that made his stomach twist a little, made his thoughts turn into a confusing jumble. It was the way your knee brushed against his, how you never pulled away, how it felt like you had no problem being near him. You hadn’t noticed, of course. But Luke was aware. More aware than he should have been. His thoughts, his heart, they didn’t make sense. He had never been good at understanding what he was feeling.
He looked at the stars, trying to keep his mind occupied with something else. But there was a part of him that wanted to ask you questions. Wanted to talk to you, share something with you. But what could he say? What did he even feel?
“What’s that one?” he asked suddenly, pointing at a cluster of stars near the horizon.
You turned your head slightly, following his finger. “That’s Orion’s Belt,” you said, shifting to sit up a little. “Those three stars in a line. You can find them every year, and it’s said that they’re the hunter.”
Luke furrowed his brow. He wasn’t sure what the hunter meant. He didn’t know if he even understood the stars the way you did, but he wanted to know. Wanted to understand the world like you seemed to. “Why is he a hunter?” Luke asked, feeling the weight of the question in his chest, “What’s he hunting?”
You paused, and for a second, Luke thought maybe you hadn’t heard him, but then you responded, your voice soft, “I don’t know. I think it’s just something from old stories. Maybe he’s hunting for adventure or something big. He probably had dreams like we do.”
Luke stayed quiet for a moment, digesting your words. He watched the stars again, his mind turning over the idea. He wasn’t sure what adventure meant, but the idea of it—the feeling of searching for something more—caught his attention. He looked at you, your face lit by the soft glow of starlight, and he felt a sudden urge to ask another question. Not about stars this time, but something bigger.
“Do you think we’ll have adventures like that when we’re older?”
It was a question that felt too big, like a thought that had been floating in his chest for a while, and now it had finally found its way out. He wasn’t sure what made him ask, but as soon as the words left his mouth, he felt like he was standing on the edge of something—something he couldn’t quite see, but that made his heart beat faster. His voice was soft, quieter than usual. Almost uncertain. He wanted to know the answer, but he was also afraid of hearing it.
Luke’s question took you by surprise.
It was a simple question, really. But you could hear the quiet weight behind it, the way it lingered in the air, like Luke was asking for something more than just an answer about adventures. He was asking about the future. About his future. What kind of life he would have when things weren’t just about running around and having fun at the lake. What kind of person he would be when the world wasn’t as simple anymore.
You didn’t know. You hadn’t figured that out for yourself. You had spent so many summers here, growing up with Jack, and yet you couldn’t predict the next few years, let alone the kind of future Luke would have.
“I don’t know,” you said honestly, your voice soft as you turned back to the stars. “I think everyone has their own adventure. Maybe they’re different, but they’re all important. Whatever it is, we’ll figure it out.”
Luke didn’t say anything at first, but you could feel the way his eyes lingered on you. You didn’t know exactly what was going on inside him, but you could tell that something had shifted in him tonight. Something you hadn’t seen before. There was a stillness to him now, a quiet understanding, and it felt like it was building up inside him, like he had caught a glimpse of something bigger, and it was all tangled up in that simple question.
And when you glanced at him, he wasn’t just looking at you. He was hearing you, too. His gaze was intense, thoughtful, and for a moment, it made your heart beat a little faster. You didn’t know what it meant. But it felt important.
After a while, Jack came back with a bag of chips, shoving the screen door open with a loud bang, breaking the quiet spell between you and Luke. The night faded back into its usual rhythm—Jack talking too loud, the crinkle of plastic as he ripped open the bag, the familiar chaos of another summer night at the lake.
But you couldn’t help noticing how Luke stayed close to you after that.
How he sat just a little closer than before, how he lingered beside you when Jack wasn’t looking, how he seemed to seek out your presence in little, unspoken ways. You didn’t know what it meant, but it felt different.
And even though you didn’t understand it yet, something about it felt like a beginning. Something you couldn’t quite name, but something you were starting to notice more each day.
For now, the night would go on, and Jack would fill it with his usual boisterous energy. But there was a shift, a quiet shift in Luke, that made you feel like the summer was moving forward in a way you hadn’t expected. The lake, the stars, the nights spent in quiet company—this was all part of it, part of the change that was unfolding slowly, one conversation, one glance at a time.
The next day dawned bright and cloudless, the kind of summer morning where the air was already thick with warmth, the sun glittering off the water like a thousand tiny diamonds. The lake was calm, barely a ripple disturbing its glassy surface, and the excitement buzzing between you and the boys was almost tangible.
Jack, as expected, was already hyped up, practically bouncing on the dock as he grabbed his paddle. His energy was endless, like he was constantly running on some invisible fuel that no one else could match. He turned to you and Luke, his grin wide and mischievous. “Alright,” he announced, puffing out his chest like a true competitor, “first one to the floating platform and back wins. No cheating.”
You rolled your eyes playfully. “You’re just saying that because you’re the biggest cheater here.”
Jack gasped in mock offense. “Me? A cheater? Please. I’m just naturally faster than you.”
Luke, who had been kneeling beside his canoe, adjusting his paddle, snorted. “You always cheat, Jack. You just call it strategy.”
Jack waggled his eyebrows. “It’s not my fault I’m smarter than you.”
“You’re not smarter,” Luke shot back. “You’re just reckless.”
Jack only grinned wider, already lowering himself into his canoe. “Same thing.”
With that, he was off, shoving away from the dock with an exaggerated push, his paddle slicing through the water in wild, hurried strokes. You barely had time to climb into your own canoe before Jack was halfway across the lake, moving with all the grace of a bull charging forward.
“Unbelievable,” you muttered, grabbing your paddle and pushing off.
Luke, still on the dock, rolled his eyes before easing himself into his canoe, far less rushed than either of you. You could see the difference instantly—where Jack was all force and chaos, Luke moved carefully, steadily. His strokes were slower but more controlled, his canoe gliding through the water rather than thrashing against it.
You tried to catch up with Jack, pushing yourself forward, your arms already burning from the effort. The lake was bigger than it seemed from the shore, and the floating platform in the middle felt impossibly far away. Water splashed against your arms as you paddled harder, your breath coming in short, determined huffs. Jack was still ahead, but he wasn’t as smooth as he thought—his frantic paddling caused his canoe to veer slightly off course every now and then, forcing him to correct himself.
“You’re wasting energy!” you called out, laughing as you gained on him.
Jack only grinned over his shoulder. “Yeah, but I’m still winning!”
It wasn’t until you reached the platform that you let yourself rest, your canoe bumping gently against the side of the wooden float. Jack was already there, panting slightly but triumphant. He smacked his hand against the platform dramatically, as if claiming victory. “Boom. Winner.”
You narrowed your eyes. “Race isn’t over yet.”
Jack laughed, already pushing his canoe back toward the shore. “Better hurry up then!”
You were about to follow when you glanced back, realizing that Luke was still a little ways behind. He wasn’t struggling—far from it—but he wasn’t racing either. His strokes remained patient, steady, as if he wasn’t concerned about beating anyone. He was simply moving, letting the water carry him as much as he carried himself.
Something about that made you pause. Jack had already disappeared ahead, but suddenly, winning didn’t seem as important anymore. Instead of rushing after him, you turned your canoe slightly, slowing your strokes to match Luke’s pace.
He glanced up at you, surprised. “You don’t have to wait for me.”
You shrugged, resting your paddle across your lap for a moment. “I don’t mind.”
A small, almost shy smile tugged at the corner of his lips. He didn’t say anything right away, but you could tell he appreciated it. The two of you paddled side by side, the sounds of the water lapping gently against the canoes filling the quiet between you.
Luke hesitated, then spoke, his voice softer than before. “Jack always makes everything a competition.”
“Yeah,” you agreed with a laugh, shaking your head. “He doesn’t really know how to do things any other way.”
Luke glanced at you, thoughtful. “Do you like that?”
You blinked, caught off guard by the question. “What do you mean?”
Luke’s paddle skimmed the surface of the water, creating small ripples. “Always having to race. Having everything be about winning.”
You exhaled, considering. With Jack, it had always been like that—fast-paced, wild, a constant need to prove something. And it was fun, most of the time. But there was something different about the way you were moving now, next to Luke, with no urgency, no need to rush.
“I don’t know,” you admitted, glancing toward the shore where Jack was already climbing onto the dock, victorious. “I guess sometimes it’s nice to just—be.”
Luke nodded, his gaze fixed on the water. “Yeah.”
Neither of you spoke for a while after that, just paddling together in a comfortable silence. The sun was higher in the sky now, reflecting golden streaks onto the lake’s surface. You let yourself get lost in the rhythm of it, the slow, unhurried way Luke moved, how it felt like he wasn’t trying to chase anything—just experiencing it as it came.
By the time you finally reached the shore, Jack was waiting, arms crossed, tapping his foot impatiently. “What took you guys so long?”
You shrugged, stepping out of the canoe and stretching your arms. “We were enjoying the view.”
Jack scoffed, but Luke just smiled knowingly. You caught the small look he gave you—like he understood something you hadn’t fully realized yet. And in that moment, standing there on the dock with the water dripping from your fingertips and the summer sun warming your skin, you realized that maybe, just maybe, Luke had the right idea all along.
The rainy days at the lake house had a magic of their own. They brought with them the soft patter of raindrops against the windows, the smell of damp earth rising from the porch, and the hum of restless energy that filled the house as you all searched for ways to entertain yourselves. The moment the first drops fell, signaling that you’d be stuck inside for the day, Jack would immediately declare, “Knee hockey tournament. Living room. Right now.”
It was a tradition. The coffee table was shoved to the side, pillows lined the edges of the room as makeshift boards, and everyone knew the stakes were high. Jack, naturally, was the most competitive, his grin practically splitting his face as he grabbed a mini stick and tossed you another. “Dream team, back again,” he announced, bumping his shoulder against yours. You caught the stick easily, already grinning. You and Jack were always the duo to beat, your quick reflexes and synchronized movement making you nearly unstoppable.
Quinn, ever the strategist, took his time choosing his teammate, tapping his chin dramatically before slinging an arm around Luke’s shoulders. “I’ll take Luke,” he said, grinning as if he knew something you didn’t.
Luke shifted beside him, his expression unreadable at first, but there was something in his eyes—something determined, something that almost looked like anticipation. He didn’t protest.
Jack just scoffed. “Good luck,” he teased, twirling his stick between his fingers. “You’ll need it.”
The first game was fast-paced, the sound of the plastic ball slapping against the hardwood floor echoing through the house. Jack and you worked in tandem, passing quickly, faking each other out, weaving through the small space with an ease that only came from years of playing together. Every goal you scored, Jack celebrated like it was a Stanley Cup game, yelling dramatically and sliding across the floor on his knees.
But Luke and Quinn weren’t easy to beat.
Luke wasn’t as fast as Jack, and he didn’t have Quinn’s sharp strategic mind, but he had something else—a quiet patience, a precision in the way he moved. He watched the plays unfold, predicting your movements, using his body and stick to block your best shots. He wasn’t reckless like Jack, wasn’t rushing headfirst into every play. Instead, he was steady, deliberate, thinking two steps ahead.
At first, you barely noticed. You were too caught up in the thrill of the game, too focused on scoring. But then, every time you tried to cut around him, he was just
 there. Anticipating. Blocking. Smirking a little when he managed to steal the ball from you.
You narrowed your eyes at him playfully. “You’re getting good at this, Lukey.”
He shrugged, but there was something teasing in the tilt of his lips. “Maybe I’ve always been good. You just never noticed.”
That threw you off more than it should have.
Jack groaned dramatically, cutting between you. “Stop flirting and play the game!”
You blinked, heat rushing to your face. “We’re not—”
But Luke just grinned, turning back to the game as if nothing had happened. As if he hadn’t just sent your mind into a tailspin.
As the summers passed, knee hockey remained a staple of the rainy days, but something about those moments with Luke started to shift. It wasn’t just the way he played anymore—it was the way he was. The way he carried himself. He was taller now, his movements more confident. He didn’t hesitate as much, didn’t linger in Jack’s shadow like he used to.
And then there were the moments—small, fleeting, but impossible to ignore.
Like when you had just swum back to the dock one afternoon, breathless from racing Jack across the lake, your arms aching from the effort. Jack had already hoisted himself up, shaking out his wet hair like a dog before flopping onto his back. You reached for the dock’s edge, ready to pull yourself up when suddenly, there was Luke.
He was crouched at the edge, one hand outstretched toward you. His fingers curled slightly in a silent offer.
You hesitated for just a second before reaching up. His hand was warm despite the coolness of the water, his grip firm but gentle as he pulled you up. For a moment, your fingers lingered together, your skin slick with water, your breath caught in your throat for reasons you didn’t quite understand.
And then, just as quickly as it had happened, Luke cleared his throat, dropping his gaze as he let go, rubbing the back of his neck like he wasn’t sure what to do with himself.
You swallowed, trying to shake off whatever that had been.
Jack, oblivious as always, sat up, running a hand through his damp hair. “C’mon, let’s go again. Best two out of three.”
But Luke was still looking at you—like he knew something had shifted.
And maybe
 maybe you did too.
Some nights, after the chaos of the day had settled and the others had gone inside, you and Luke found yourselves lying on the dock, staring up at the stars. It was never planned, never something you spoke about beforehand—it just happened.
Jack was usually the one who exhausted himself first, retreating inside after a long day of swimming and competing. Quinn would follow soon after, leaving you and Luke behind in the quiet lull of the night, the water gently lapping against the dock.
Luke lay beside you, arms folded behind his head, his gaze fixed on the sky. “Do you think it’s weird that everything looks so big at night?” he asked suddenly, his voice low.
You turned your head slightly to look at him. “Big?”
“Yeah,” he continued, his brows knitting together in thought. “Like, during the day, everything feels
 normal. But at night, when you look up, it’s like—you realize how small you are.”
You stared up at the stars, the vast, endless expanse of them. “I guess so,” you murmured. “But I think that’s kind of nice. Like, it makes everything else—everything that feels too big—seem smaller.”
Luke was quiet for a moment, as if letting your words settle. Then, softly, “Yeah. I like that.”
The silence stretched between you, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. It was peaceful, a quiet understanding that didn’t need words.
Then, in a softer voice, Luke asked, “Do you ever think about what happens after this?”
You turned your head to look at him again, surprised by the question. “After what?”
“After all this,” he said, gesturing vaguely at the lake, at the sky. “After we grow up.”
You exhaled, staring up at the stars again. “Sometimes. But I try not to think about it too much. I like it here. I like now.”
Luke nodded slowly, as if he understood. And maybe he did. Maybe he felt the same.
The summers were changing. You were changing. And Luke wasn’t just Jack’s little brother anymore. He was something else—someone else. Though your heart still truly belonged to his older brother, no matter how hard Luke tried.
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At sixteen, Jack told you after practice one afternoon, back home, when summer was still weeks away.
You had stayed late at the rink, the way you always did, dragging out the minutes after his practice because neither of you were ever in a hurry to leave. The ice had already been cleaned, the faint smell of Zamboni fumes still lingering in the air, and most of his teammates had already headed out. But Jack had slung an arm around your shoulders and said, “One more round,” and you never could say no to him.
So you skated circles around each other for another twenty minutes, taking lazy shots on goal, passing the puck back and forth without speaking. It was comfortable, easy. The way it had always been.
And then, after you finally dragged yourselves off the ice, you sat together outside the rink, letting the cool spring breeze dry the sweat still clinging to your skin. His hockey bag was tossed carelessly beside him, skates still half-laced like he hadn’t quite decided if he was done for the day. The sun was warm against your face, the kind of warmth that made the air feel electric, buzzing with the quiet anticipation of summer.
Jack leaned back on his elbows, stretching his legs out in front of him, and kicked absently at a dandelion sprouting between the cracks in the pavement. His voice was casual, easy, when he said it.
“Oh, by the way, I’ve got a girlfriend now.”
It took a second for the words to sink in.
You had been in the middle of reaching for your water bottle, fingers curling around the plastic, when the sentence hit you like a slap.
“What?”
Jack turned his head toward you, squinting against the sun, his mouth curling into that familiar lopsided grin. “Yeah. Alyssa. You know her, right? She’s in our chem class.”
You did know her.
She was blonde, pretty, and effortlessly cool—the kind of girl who seemed to float through life with an ease you had never quite mastered. The kind of girl who made sense for Jack, in a way you suddenly felt like you didn’t.
“Oh,” you said, forcing your expression into something neutral, something that wouldn’t betray the way your stomach had twisted into a knot. “That’s
 cool.”
Jack’s grin widened, oblivious to the way your voice had faltered. “Yeah, she’s awesome. You’ll love her.”
You nodded, pretending to be interested, pretending that the sudden ache in your chest was nothing more than an odd reaction to the heat.
And then, as if the news itself hadn’t been enough, he added, “She’s coming to the lake house this summer.”
You felt like the ground had been yanked out from under you.
The lake house.
Your lake house.
The place that had always been yours—yours and Jack’s, yours and the Hughes’, yours and the memories you had built there for nearly a decade.
You swallowed, forcing your expression to stay neutral. “Oh. Yeah, that makes sense.”
Jack didn’t seem to notice your hesitation. He just stretched his arms over his head, looking out at the parking lot like this was just another conversation, just another day. “It’s gonna be great. She’s never been, so I’ll need you to help me show her around.”
You wanted to tell him no.
You wanted to tell him she didn’t belong there, that the lake house wasn’t just some place—it was home. It was the sound of Jack’s laughter echoing off the water, the endless knee hockey battles on rainy days, the constellations you used to trace in the sky when the two of you were kids, whispering dreams about the future.
It wasn’t supposed to change.
But instead, you just nodded.
“Yeah,” you said, the word barely making it past the lump in your throat. “It’ll be fun.”
Jack grinned, already moving on, already pulling out his phone to check his messages, like he hadn’t just turned your entire world upside down.
And just like that, everything shifted.
The first night at the lake house, you couldn’t breathe.
It wasn’t Alyssa’s fault. Not really.
She was nice in the effortless way that pretty girls always seemed to be. She laughed at Jack’s jokes, tucked herself easily into the spaces that had once been yours, fit in with the family like she had always belonged. She had only been here for a few hours, and yet somehow, she already knew which cabinet the cereal was in, already had Quinn rolling his eyes at one of Jack’s ridiculous stories, already knew exactly how to lean into Jack’s side at the dinner table like she had always been the one sitting next to him.
Like that seat had never been yours to begin with.
Maybe it never was.
Maybe you were the one who had been holding onto something that had never really belonged to you.
So you smiled. You nodded when she spoke to you, laughed when you were supposed to, played the role of best friend because that’s all you had ever been. And if your fingers curled a little too tightly around the edge of the table, if your stomach twisted every time Jack whispered something into her ear, if the food on your plate went mostly untouched—no one noticed.
Or at least, you thought they didn’t.
The house settled into a comfortable quiet as the night stretched on, the familiar creaks of the wooden floors, the distant hum of crickets beyond the porch screens. Jack and Alyssa had disappeared upstairs together after dinner, their laughter trailing up the staircase, and you had felt something inside of you unravel.
So you had slipped out onto the porch, closing the door quietly behind you, needing air, needing space, needing something to dull the ache in your chest.
The lake stretched out before you, dark and endless, the water lapping gently against the dock. It should have been comforting. It always had been before. But tonight, it felt hollow.
You wrapped your arms around yourself, pressing your fingers into your ribs as if that would somehow keep the hurt from spilling out.
The door creaked open behind you.
You didn’t turn, but you knew who it was before he even spoke.
Luke.
He was always the one who lingered. The one who noticed things even when you tried to hide them.
He didn’t say anything at first. He just sat beside you, close enough that his shoulder brushed against yours, his body warm against the cool night air. He didn’t try to fill the silence, didn’t try to force words where they didn’t belong.
And for some reason, that was what undid you.
The tears came before you could stop them, silent at first, then harder, faster, your shoulders shaking as you tried to hold it in, tried to pretend you weren’t breaking apart right there on the porch.
Luke let out a quiet breath, barely audible over the sound of the water. And then, without hesitation, he reached out, pulling you into him.
You didn’t resist.
You buried your face against his chest, gripping fistfuls of his sweatshirt like it was the only thing keeping you from shattering completely.
He was warm. Solid. Safe.
His arms tightened around you, his chin resting lightly against the top of your head as he let you sob into him, let you break apart without saying a word.
You didn’t know how long you stayed like that—curled into Luke’s chest, the fabric of his sweatshirt damp beneath your cheek, your fingers still twisted into the material like you were afraid to let go. But Luke never moved. Never let go. He just held you like he had been waiting to, like he had always known this moment would come.
And maybe it was because you were crying too hard, or maybe it was because your mind was too clouded with grief for something you had never really had—but you didn’t hear it.
You didn’t hear the way Luke exhaled shakily, like he was holding back something too big to say aloud.
You didn’t hear the quiet, broken words he finally let slip.
“If only I were him.”
But Quinn did.
He had been walking past on his way to the kitchen, pausing at the doorway when he saw the two of you.
His expression was unreadable as he stood there, watching the way Luke held you, the way his fingers curled ever so slightly into the fabric of your sweatshirt, the way he looked at you.
And then, without a word, Quinn turned and walked away.
You had eventually left him there.
Slipped out of his arms, whispered a quiet ‘thank you’, and disappeared back into the house before he could stop you. Before he could say anything—before he could ask you to stay.
Luke had let you go, even though everything in him had wanted to hold on just a little longer. Just long enough to keep you close, to keep you from slipping through his fingers like water, like you always did.
Now, the dock was empty except for him.
But the ghost of you remained.
The warmth of you still clung to his sweatshirt, the scent of lake water and the faintest hint of whatever soap you used lingering in the fabric. The weight of you had pressed into his side, curled into his chest as you cried, and even though you were gone, he still felt you there.
Luke sat motionless, staring out at the water, his breath slow and uneven. The lake stretched out in front of him, vast and endless, its surface dark except for where the moonlight painted streaks of silver. It was quiet now—no laughter, no voices drifting from the house, just the steady lapping of the water against the dock, the occasional rustling of the trees in the breeze.
He should have gone inside.
Should have shaken it off, pretended like nothing had happened. Like holding you, feeling you tremble against him, hadn’t carved something deep into his chest. Like it hadn’t made him ache in a way he wasn’t sure he’d ever recover from.
But he couldn’t move.
Because the truth sat too heavy in his bones, pressing down on him like a weight he couldn’t shake.
Because the words had already slipped past his lips.
Soft, quiet, spoken to no one but the night itself.
‘If only I were him.’
Luke squeezed his eyes shut, dragging a hand down his face, as if he could erase the thought from his mind, as if he could shove it back down into the part of himself that he had spent years trying to ignore.
But it was too late.
Because the words were out there now, hanging in the cool night air, impossible to take back.
He wished he were Jack.
He wished, just for a second, that he had been born in a different place, with a different name, with a different place in your heart.
Because then maybe—just maybe—you would have seen him.
Not as Jack’s little brother.
Not as a second choice.
Not as the boy who was always just a little too young, a little too quiet, a little too easy to overlook.
But as someone.
As yours.
Luke let out a slow breath, staring down at his hands. His fingers curled into his sweatshirt—your sweatshirt now, because he knew you’d probably stolen it from Jack’s room at some point. His grip tightened, like if he held on tight enough, he could still feel you there.
But it didn’t matter.
Because you hadn’t heard him.
You hadn’t heard the quiet confession, the words that had been sitting in his chest for longer than he wanted to admit.
And even if you had

You still wouldn’t have understood what they meant.
But Quinn had heard.
Luke heard the footsteps before he saw him.
The quiet creak of the old wooden boards, the familiar rhythm of Quinn’s stride—it was enough to tell him he wasn’t alone anymore. But he didn’t look up. He just kept his gaze locked on the water, his elbows resting on his knees, hands clasped together like he could wring the frustration from his bones.
Quinn didn’t speak as he lowered himself onto the dock beside him, stretching his legs out in front of him, their shoulders barely brushing. For a moment, neither of them said anything.
The night was still, the lake stretching out before them, dark and endless. The moon carved a silver path across its surface, shimmering in the gentle ripple of the waves. It should have been peaceful. It had always been peaceful before. But now, the silence only seemed to amplify the storm raging in Luke’s chest.
He stared at the water, trying to steady himself, trying to ignore the way his pulse still hadn’t settled since you had been in his arms, since your tears had soaked into his sweatshirt, since you had disappeared inside without ever hearing what he had said, the words still sitting bitter on his tongue.
Quinn exhaled beside him, breaking the quiet with a sigh that felt heavier than it should have. And then, finally, he spoke.
“You love her.”
Not a question. Just fact.
Luke let out a quiet, humorless laugh, shaking his head. His grip on his hands tightened, knuckles white in the moonlight. “Doesn’t matter.”
“It does.” Quinn’s voice was softer this time, but there was something firm underneath it, something unyielding. “You should tell her.”
Luke scoffed, shaking his head. His throat burned, the weight of it all pressing down on him. “She loves Jack.”
The words came out sharp, clipped. He hadn’t meant them to. But saying them aloud made them feel heavier, like they held more truth than they should.
Quinn didn’t say anything for a long time.
The air between them was thick with something unspoken, something impossible to name. Luke could hear everything—the soft rustling of the trees, the distant hum of crickets, the steady lapping of the lake against the dock. It all felt too loud, too sharp against the quiet ache settling in his chest.
And then, finally, Quinn broke the silence.
“She thinks she does.” His voice was careful, measured. “But she’s never even thought about you as an option.”
The words hit Luke harder than he expected.
Because they were true.
You had never looked at him the way you looked at Jack. Never let your gaze linger. Never let your fingers brush his just to feel the contact. Never let yourself wonder if maybe—just maybe—he could be someone to you.
Because to you, there was only ever Jack.
Luke clenched his jaw, his chest tight, his stomach twisting itself into knots. His fists curled against his knees, nails biting into his palms.
“Because I was born in the wrong place,” he muttered, voice barely above a whisper. “If I were Jack
”
But Quinn cut him off before he could finish.
“But you’re not Jack.” His voice was quiet, steady, but there was something firm beneath it, something final. “And maybe that’s a good thing.”
Luke swallowed hard, staring out at the water, at the reflection of the stars shimmering in the dark.
But he wasn’t sure Quinn was right.
Because if being himself meant always being second, always being the afterthought, always sitting alone on this damn dock while you smiled at someone else—then he wasn’t sure he wanted to be Luke at all.
Luke never brought it up. And neither did you.
The night you had cried into his chest, the way his arms had wrapped around you so tightly—like he could somehow hold you together—it was never mentioned again. It became one of those moments that lived in the quiet spaces between you, something fragile and unspoken.
But it lingered.
He felt it every time you sat at the dinner table, smiling when you were supposed to, nodding along as Alyssa laughed at something Jack said. Every time your fingers curled around the edge of your glass just a little too tightly. Every time your eyes drifted toward them—toward Jack and the girl at his side—and took on that faraway look, glassy and unreadable.
Luke knew you were hurting.
And God, he hated it.
But there was nothing he could do.
Because even though he wanted to reach across the space between you, to shake you, to tell you that Jack wasn’t the only person in the world worth loving—you didn’t see it.
You didn’t see him.
And Luke didn’t know which was worse: the fact that you were in love with Jack or the fact that you didn’t even realize how much Luke loved you.
So he stayed quiet.
He watched as the summer stretched on, as you smiled when you were supposed to, as you forced yourself to be okay. And maybe to everyone else, it worked. Maybe Jack and Alyssa and even Quinn believed the act.
But Luke didn’t.
He saw how your hands clenched in your lap every time Jack threw an arm around Alyssa’s shoulders. He saw the way your throat tightened when she pressed a kiss to his cheek. He saw the way you looked away, always just a second too late, always after the damage had already been done.
And it killed him.
Because you deserved more than this—more than spending the summer pretending you were fine, pretending your heart wasn’t breaking every time Jack smiled at someone who wasn’t you.
Luke wanted to tell you that.
But he didn’t.
Instead, he just kept sitting beside you on the dock, kept making quiet jokes when the house got too loud, kept handing you a marshmallow before you even had to ask for one by the fire. Kept being there, in the only way you would let him be.
And maybe that wasn’t enough.
But it was all he had.
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The first time you missed the trip to the lake house, it seemed trivial. Just a weekend, right? You could make up some reason—something simple that wouldn’t raise suspicions. Family obligations, work commitments, even the classic “I’ve got a lot of homework” excuse would be enough. After all, you’d been going to the lake house for as long as you could remember. It had become a part of you, woven into the fabric of your summers, a backdrop to countless memories with Jack, Luke, and Quinn. A weekend away wouldn’t change anything, right?
But it did.
You could feel it the moment you hung up the phone with Jack. The weight in your chest, heavy and undeniable. You thought you could escape the feeling, put it out of your mind, but it lingered in the corners of your thoughts. The lake house wasn’t just a place; it was a memory, a comfort, and now it was a reminder of everything you were trying to avoid.
You told yourself it would just be one weekend. That you were just taking a break. You convinced yourself it was temporary. You were busy, that’s all. There would be another time. But deep down, you knew it wasn’t that simple. There was something more, something unspoken between you and the others that you didn’t know how to confront. It had been brewing for weeks now, something under the surface, something you couldn’t put into words.
When Jack called, you almost dreaded hearing his voice. It was familiar, comforting, but also the thing that felt like a weight around your neck. The guilt hit you all over again, curling deep in your stomach.
“Hey, are you coming this weekend?” Jack’s voice was casual, but there was an edge of expectation underneath it. “We’ll be at the lake house, like always.”
You could hear the unspoken promise in his tone—this is what we always do. And you hated yourself for it. Hated that you couldn’t just say yes, that you couldn’t be there like you always were. Your hand gripped the edge of the counter, your knuckles white, as your mind raced for an answer.
You wanted to say yes. You wanted to slip back into that familiar rhythm, to fall into the comfort of the lake house and the people who filled it. You wanted to be with Jack and Quinn, and especially Luke, but the thought of seeing them all together made your chest tighten. You weren’t ready. Not yet. You didn’t know how to face them, how to face yourself in that space. You couldn’t bear to see their faces, not when you had so much left unsaid, so much you hadn’t dealt with.
“I
 I can’t, Jack,” you said, your voice faltering just slightly as you tried to keep the lie steady. “I’ve got work.” The words sounded hollow, even to your own ears, and the guilt twisted in your gut. “Maybe next time.”
There was a long silence on the other end of the line. You could almost hear him processing, trying to understand, but the confusion lingered there in the quiet. You hated that it was so easy to lie, that the words came so naturally. You hadn’t been ready to deal with what was really going on inside you, and so you just pushed it all down.
Jack sighed, a sound that carried a touch of disappointment, but also something more—something patient. He always knew how to give you space when you needed it, even when it hurt him. “Alright,” he said softly, his tone still holding that hint of sadness. “Well, we’ll miss you. But I get it. Just
 don’t stay away too long, okay?”
You promised him you wouldn’t, but deep down, you knew you were lying. You didn’t know when you’d go back, or if you would. And as soon as you hung up the phone, you knew the distance between you and the lake house, between you and them, was widening.
The next weekend came, and you stayed home again. And the one after that. And then it became easier—slipping out of the routine, making new excuses, burying yourself in other things so that you wouldn’t have to think about it. It was easier to hide behind a wall of work and other commitments than to face the truth.
And what was the truth? That you weren’t ready. Not for the lake house, not for Jack and Alyssa, not for Luke. It was easier this way, wasn’t it? To stay away. To pretend like everything was fine, like you didn’t feel the aching pull between what was and what could never be again.
The absence didn’t go unnoticed, though. Not by Jack, and certainly not by Luke.
Jack didn’t say much. Maybe he didn’t want to push you too hard. You were always good at deflecting, at making light of things, and maybe that’s what Jack saw in you—a person who was always willing to pull herself together, even when it didn’t make sense. But Luke? Luke noticed everything. Every little shift, every subtle change. And when you weren’t there, when you stopped showing up, it was like a part of him was missing too.
You hadn’t seen him in weeks, and you knew it. The last time you’d crossed paths had been so fleeting—just a few minutes at the grocery store, the briefest exchange of glances. He’d smiled at you, but it wasn’t the smile you remembered. It was distant, guarded, like he was afraid to get too close. And maybe he was. You were afraid too.
It wasn’t just that Luke noticed your absence—it was the weight of what was left unsaid between you, the quiet space that had grown larger with every missed trip. Every time you saw him from a distance, there was something in his eyes that pulled at you, something unspoken that you couldn’t ignore, but also couldn’t face. You had known him longer than anyone else, and yet now, he was the one you couldn’t quite reach.
The weeks stretched on, and the distance between you and the lake house deepened. It wasn’t just the physical distance—it was the emotional gap that had started to separate you from Jack, from Luke, from everything you had once known.
And Luke? Luke was the hardest part of all. Because no matter how hard you tried to keep your distance, no matter how many excuses you made, you couldn’t escape the way your heart twisted whenever you thought of him. You couldn’t escape the way you missed him—missed the way he’d been there for you, the way his presence had felt like home. It was easier to pretend, to tell yourself that you were just busy, but you knew the truth: you were avoiding him. You were avoiding everything, and truly you didn’t understand why.
The silence between you and the lake house grew louder with each passing day. And somehow, you felt yourself drifting further away—not just from the lake house, but from everyone you once considered family. But you couldn’t bring yourself to stop. Because if you did, if you allowed yourself to face them, then you’d have to face everything you were running from. And that was the hardest part of all.
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The week after the summer had ended and you missed yet another lake house trip, Quinn found you. He hadn’t been looking for you exactly. He wasn’t sure what had driven him to come, but the truth was he knew something was wrong. You’d stopped coming, and it was starting to weigh on him. The silence between your absence and Luke’s growing frustration wasn’t something Quinn could ignore, even though Luke never said a word about it. But Quinn could feel it—could feel how the absence of you was slowly becoming too heavy for all of them to carry.
Quinn had no clear plan as he stood outside your door, his knuckles hovering just above the wood, unsure of whether he should knock or simply leave. The house had always been a place of comfort, a home that felt like his, but today, it seemed different. Quiet in a way that made his chest tighten, the sounds of your laughter no longer filling the corners. The soft shuffle of your footsteps, the casual conversations you’d had over the years—those sounds were missing, and in their place was a hollow emptiness that Quinn could almost taste.
You answered the door slowly, and for a moment, he wondered if you had been expecting someone else. Your eyes were too tired, too distant, and there was something about the way you stood there, half hiding behind the door, that made him feel as though you were trying to shield yourself from something—or maybe from him. He couldn’t quite tell.
He didn’t want to make things worse. He wasn’t sure how much to push, how much you’d be willing to share. The hesitation in his step betrayed his uncertainty, but when you met his gaze, he saw something that twisted in his chest: something sad and lost.
“You okay?” he asked, his voice softer than usual, the words hanging in the air between you.
You gave a small smile, but it was strained, and Quinn could see right through it. He didn’t believe you for a second.
“Yeah, just
 busy with school and everything. You know how it is.” You shrugged, but the motion felt hollow, and your eyes never quite met his.
Quinn nodded, but he knew it wasn’t the whole story. He could feel it—could feel how your words didn’t match what was in your eyes.
“You haven’t been around the lake house much, though,” Quinn ventured, his voice calm but holding a trace of concern that you couldn’t miss.
You shifted slightly, the space between you both feeling thicker than it should. “I’ve just got a lot going on.”
Quinn raised an eyebrow. That wasn’t the real reason, not by a long shot. “Really? Because Jack misses you. We all miss you.”
At that, he saw it—the brief flicker in your eyes. It was almost imperceptible, but it was enough. Hurt. Regret. Whatever it was, it made Quinn’s chest ache, his heartbeat a little heavier. There was something more to this than you were letting on, something that made him wonder if you even saw how much everyone else was hurting.
A long silence stretched out between you both, a quiet that felt like it would swallow him whole. The distance was painful. It had always been easy between you and him—friendly, easygoing. But this, this was something different. Something that Quinn didn’t know how to fix, but something he couldn’t leave unresolved either.
Finally, you spoke, your voice barely above a whisper. “I don’t know, Quinn. It just doesn’t feel the same anymore.”
The words cut through the air, sharp and heavy, and Quinn’s heart sank. He had always known you as part of the rhythm of the lake house, the one constant they could count on. And now, you were drifting away, and he had no idea how to pull you back in.
“What do you mean?” Quinn asked, trying to keep his voice steady. It wasn’t like you to avoid questions like this, to shy away from the truth.
You closed your eyes for a brief moment, a flicker of pain passing over your features before you spoke again. “Everything’s changed. And I don’t know how to fix it.”
“Maybe it’s not about fixing it,” Quinn said, his voice gentle but firm. “Maybe you don’t need to fix anything. Just
 come back. Come back to the lake house. We miss you.”
You shook your head slightly, stepping back from the door, as if you were trying to distance yourself from him, from everyone else. “I can’t. It’s too hard.”
Quinn’s stomach twisted with the weight of your words. It wasn’t just that you were avoiding the lake house—it was that you had withdrawn from everything. From everyone. And that scared him more than he let on.
“It’s not about being perfect,” Quinn said, his voice quiet now. “We’re all just
 trying to figure things out.” He took a step closer, his eyes softening as he met your gaze. “We just need you to be there. We all do.”
You didn’t say anything for a long time, but Quinn could feel how your breath quickened, how the weight of what he was saying started to sink in.
“I don’t belong there anymore,” you murmured, your voice cracking on the last word.
The words hit him like a punch to the gut, a sharp twist of realization. It wasn’t just about the lake house. It was about you, about how you had come to see yourself outside of all of them, outside of the family you’d once been a part of. And that hurt. It hurt more than he was prepared for.
“Of course, you belong there,” Quinn said, his voice breaking a little. “You always have.”
But you didn’t believe it, did you? Quinn could see it in your eyes—the sadness that seemed to swirl just below the surface, a darkness he couldn’t reach. He felt helpless in a way he never had before. He didn’t know how to make it right, how to bring you back to them.
“I miss you at the lake house,” he admitted, his voice softer now, raw with emotion. “We all do. Jack misses you. Luke misses you more than you know.”
Your chest tightened at that, the truth of his words cutting through your defenses. You knew Luke missed you. In fact, it was one of the hardest things to face—that the one person you didn’t know how to deal with, the one person you couldn’t bring yourself to confront, was the one who missed you most.
“Maybe,” you whispered, your voice barely audible, “but it doesn’t matter. Things are different now.”
Quinn studied you for a long time, his gaze intense and unwavering. You wanted to look away, to shut him out, but his eyes held you captive. You saw it then—the rawness, the vulnerability, the care that Quinn had never been one to show so openly.
“I know you think it’s different,” Quinn said quietly, “but you’re wrong. Things haven’t changed as much as you think. You’re still part of this family. You always will be.”
And in that moment, with those words hanging in the air between you both, you could feel something shifting. You didn’t know if it would be enough to bring you back to the lake house, back to them, but you could feel it in your bones: the connection, the love, the deep-rooted truth that no matter how far you pulled away, they would always be there, waiting.
The next few weeks were a blur. Jack kept calling, trying to bridge the gap, and you kept finding reasons to avoid his calls. Work. Homework. Other commitments. It never seemed to stop, and every time you answered with another excuse, the guilt only piled higher.
But Luke
 you hadn’t seen Luke in weeks. And that absence? That ache in your chest that you just couldn’t explain when you thought about him? It was always there, quietly gnawing at you, reminding you of what you were running from.
Then, one afternoon, Jack showed up at your door.
His presence was like a weight, a storm that had been gathering, ready to break. Standing there, hands shoved deep into the pockets of his hoodie, his usual easygoing demeanor was replaced by something quieter, more serious. The frustration in his eyes was unmistakable, and his voice, when he spoke, was softer than it had ever been.
“I don’t get it,” Jack said, his words hanging between you both. “What happened? Why are you pulling away?”
You swallowed hard, a lump rising in your throat. There was no easy way to answer, no simple excuse you could give to make it go away. “I don’t know,” you admitted, voice barely above a whisper. “I just
 need space.”
Jack’s expression softened, and though he didn’t say it, you could tell how deeply he felt the distance. “You don’t need to do this alone, you know? We’re all here for you.”
You nodded, but even the words felt hollow. “I know. I just
 I’m not sure how to fit back in.”
Jack took a step forward, his gaze intense as it locked with yours. “Don’t shut us out. We’re your family.”
And just like that, the weight of it all hit you—the weight of the lake house, of Jack, of Luke. You couldn’t keep running away, not anymore. But you weren’t sure how to face the truth. The truth that Luke was still there, waiting, somewhere in the shadows, and the hardest part of it all was knowing that, maybe, you hadn’t been able to face him yet.
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The air was beginning to shift as the first hints of fall whispered across the trees, rustling the leaves in the distance. It had been another summer of avoidance—weeks stretching into months, each one slipping by as you found more and more reasons to stay away from the lake house, from Jack, from Luke. The reasons weren’t as simple as school or work or family, but they were the excuses you told yourself to make it easier. To convince yourself that pulling away didn’t matter. But as you sat behind the wheel of your car, driving down the familiar road leading to the lake, you couldn’t deny the knot in your stomach.
You didn’t know how you’d gotten here, but you could feel the weight of it in your bones—the guilt, the emptiness. You couldn’t remember the last time you had felt truly connected to any of it. To the people, to the place that had once been everything. It was as if, over the course of a summer, the distance between you and them had grown to a point where it felt too difficult to cross back.
You could see the lake house in the distance, the same wooden structure that had once felt like home, but now it was just a shadow of itself. Everything about it felt different, hollow in a way you couldn’t quite explain.
As you stepped out of your car and made your way down the familiar path that led to the dock, you wondered why you were here. You had avoided coming for so long—avoided the people, avoided Luke. And now, walking in the direction of the place you had always felt safest, you couldn’t help but feel like a stranger.
Your eyes scanned the area as you approached the dock, the soft sound of water lapping against the shore mixing with the gentle rustling of the trees in the breeze. It felt peaceful, serene even, but there was an ache in your chest you couldn’t ignore. A heaviness that made your steps feel uncertain, as if you weren’t quite sure you were supposed to be here.
And then you saw him.
Luke was sitting on the edge of the dock by the water, his back stiff, his hands resting on the wooden panels beneath him. He hadn’t noticed you yet, his gaze fixed out toward the horizon, where the golden light from the setting sun danced across the surface of the lake. His hat was pulled low over his face, casting a shadow that made his expression unreadable, but there was something about the stillness of his figure that made your chest tighten.
It was like time had paused in that moment. The world around you faded as you watched him, your eyes tracing the outline of his silhouette, the familiar shape of him that you hadn’t seen in weeks. There was a distance between you now, one that seemed to stretch out endlessly, a chasm that you had been too afraid to face.
You hadn’t meant to avoid him, not really. But with Jack and Alyssa together, everything had changed. And with every day that passed, the more it seemed impossible to go back to how it was before. You missed Luke. You missed the way he’d been there for you, the way he had always been in the background, supportive and understanding in a way that was easy to take for granted. And yet, when you thought about him, you always found yourself circling back to the same thought: It’s too late now.
The wind picked up, and the leaves in the trees swayed gently, their movement in rhythm with the pulse in your chest. You stood still for a long moment, just watching him, unsure of what to do next. The quiet between you felt suffocating, a reminder of the unspoken words that had been left unsaid for so long. You wanted to call out to him, to ask how he had been, to break the silence and bridge the gap that had been growing between you. But you stayed silent, not knowing what to say, what right you had to speak when you had stayed away for so long.
Then, as if sensing your presence, Luke shifted slightly. His body tensed for a moment before he turned, his eyes lifting slowly from the horizon to meet yours.
In that instant, everything in you seemed to stop. His gaze was heavy, intense, as if he had been waiting for this moment—waiting for you to come back. But there was something more in his eyes, something deeper. His expression was unreadable, but there was an undeniable pull in the way he looked at you, like he was seeing through all the walls you’d built up, all the excuses you’d made.
“Y/N,” Luke said quietly, his voice carrying across the distance between you. He didn’t stand up, didn’t move. He just stayed there, as if it was the most natural thing in the world. As if you hadn’t been avoiding him for months.
You couldn’t find the words. You wanted to say something, anything to break the silence, but nothing came. Instead, you just took a step closer, stopping a few feet away from him. You both stared at each other for a long time, the quiet stretching out longer than either of you was comfortable with.
Finally, Luke broke the silence. “Why do you keep running away?” His voice wasn’t angry, but there was a rawness to it that you hadn’t expected.
You froze, the question hitting you harder than you thought it would. “I’m not running,” you said quickly, trying to sound calm, but even you could hear the lie in your voice.
“Yes, you are,” Luke replied, his words sharp now, like they had been building up for a long time. “From the lake house, from me.”
The words stung more than you wanted to admit. You opened your mouth to speak, but nothing came out. You just stood there, unable to process what he had said, what he was implying. You felt something inside you snap, but you couldn’t bring yourself to admit it.
“Luke, what are you talking about?” you finally asked, your voice coming out softer than you had intended.
Luke let out a sharp breath, like the weight of everything he had been holding in was finally too much. He stood up then, but didn’t come closer. Instead, he looked at you like he was seeing you for the first time in a long while, like he was waiting for you to really see him, to understand what he had been carrying.
“I love you, Y/N,” he said, the words slipping out of his mouth like a confession he had been holding onto for years. “I’ve loved you since before I even knew what love was.”
The world around you seemed to stop. The trees, the water, even the air itself seemed to freeze in place, leaving you standing there, staring at him in stunned silence. You opened your mouth to say something, but no words came.
Luke took a step closer, his voice growing quieter now, but more intense. “But you never saw me, did you? I was just Jack’s little brother to you. I was always just there. In the background. You never noticed me for anything else.”
His words hit you like a freight train, shattering everything you thought you knew about yourself, about him, about what had been right in front of you all along. You stood there, frozen, as if the world around you had suddenly slowed down. His confession wasn’t just a declaration—it was a breaking point, a revelation that you couldn’t escape. You had always thought you knew who Luke was, always thought you understood the quiet, steady presence he had been in your life. But you had been blind.
The memories flooded back all at once—those small, seemingly insignificant moments you had brushed aside without a second thought. The way Luke’s gaze would linger on you when you laughed, how he would stay behind after everyone else had gone home to help clean up, how his voice had always been a little softer, a little more patient whenever he spoke to you. The way he had stood in the background, never demanding anything from you, never asking for more, but always there. Always just a little too quiet, a little too distant, a little too kind for you to notice. And now, as the weight of what he had just said hung heavy in the air, you understood. All those moments weren’t coincidences. They had been his way of loving you without you ever realizing it.
You opened your mouth to speak, to process it all, but the words were stuck in your throat. I never knew. The thought echoed relentlessly in your mind, but you couldn’t say it aloud. You couldn’t bring yourself to voice the truth, not yet. It was too overwhelming, too raw, and yet, as much as you wanted to deny it, you felt the heavy sting of regret curling up from somewhere deep within you. You had missed it. You had missed him.
You took a small step forward, the movement feeling more like a leap into an unknown space, like walking on the edge of something fragile and delicate. Every part of you felt exposed, the rawness of the moment too intense for your usual walls to hold up. Your heart was hammering in your chest, each beat louder than the last, thumping in your ears as if to remind you how real this was.
Luke was still watching you, his expression unreadable, but his eyes—those familiar eyes—spoke everything. There was a softness in them now, a quiet vulnerability that you had never seen before. He didn’t look angry. He didn’t look bitter. He didn’t look like he had been holding onto this for years just to lash out. No, instead, he was just standing there—quiet, patient, waiting. Waiting for you to see him. Waiting for you to finally look at him the way he had always looked at you.
You took another step closer, the words that had been building in your chest finally spilling out. “Luke
” Your voice trembled, barely a whisper, but it was enough for him to hear. Enough for the world to hear the weight of it all. “I never knew.”
There was no sudden shift in him—no dramatic reaction, no sigh of relief. He didn’t move. He didn’t take a step toward you or away from you. Instead, his expression softened even further, and for the first time in years, you saw Luke as he truly was—vulnerable, raw, and, in that moment, completely open to you. He wasn’t holding back anymore. He wasn’t hiding his feelings, wasn’t waiting for you to come to him. He had already given everything he could, and now it was up to you to decide what came next.
“I know,” he whispered back, his voice so soft that you almost couldn’t hear it over the pounding of your heart. It was a simple response, but it felt like it contained the weight of everything he had carried, everything he had hoped for. “But I needed you to.”
The words hung in the air, a delicate thread between you both, and you felt the weight of them settle in your chest. He needed you to see him. He needed you to stop running, to stop avoiding the truth that had always been there, hiding behind the easy smiles and the comfort of friendship. He needed you to finally understand that, all this time, he had been right there. Right in front of you. And you had missed him.
It wasn’t just about the lake house, or Jack, or the old memories of summers past. It was about you and Luke. About everything that had been unsaid, everything that had been quietly building up in the background while you had been so caught up in your own confusion, your own feelings for Jack. You had never allowed yourself to see what was standing right there in front of you—what had been waiting for you all along.
A sudden ache pierced through your chest, a mix of regret, guilt, and something else—something you couldn’t quite name. You had been running from him. You had been running from his love, from the possibility of something deeper, something real. And now, standing there, with him just a few feet away, you realized just how much you had lost by not seeing him sooner.
Luke was still standing there, waiting. He wasn’t pushing you, wasn’t asking for anything. He had already given you everything. His love. His time. His patience. He had been there for you in ways you hadn’t even understood until now. And for the first time, you felt the full weight of it.
You took a deep breath, the air around you thick with emotion, and you felt something shift inside you. You had been running for so long, but now, in this moment, you didn’t want to run anymore. You didn’t want to hide from the truth. You wanted to stop pretending that everything was fine, that you had everything figured out when, in reality, you had been avoiding the one thing that could make everything right.
The silence hung in the air, but this time it felt different. It wasn’t a chasm between you that needed to be filled with words, but a soft space of understanding, a quiet kind of anticipation. It was as though everything that had once been said, and everything that had been left unsaid, was coming together in this one moment. The weight of what Luke had shared with you, the rawness of his confession, it wasn’t a burden anymore—it was a bridge between you, and you could feel it stretching out before you.
You stood there, a few feet away, and your mind raced, scrambling to find a way to process what had just happened. But no matter how hard you tried to make sense of it, you kept coming back to one thing—Luke. Luke, standing there, his eyes soft, his expression vulnerable in a way you had never seen before. He was no longer just Jack’s younger brother. He was Luke—the boy who had been there for you in every way, without ever asking for anything in return.
It was almost as if, in that moment, you could feel the shift deep inside of you. Everything you had been running from, everything you had been hiding from, came rushing to the surface. You realized, with a sharp clarity, that you had been avoiding him, yes—but you had also been avoiding yourself. Avoiding the truth that had always been right in front of you.
And then, without thinking, without hesitating, you closed the space between you. One step. Then another. The sound of your heartbeat was the loudest thing you could hear, each beat reverberating in your chest, urging you closer. You had no plan, no idea what you were doing, but somehow, in that moment, you knew. You knew you had to stop running.
Your breath caught as you stopped just inches from him, the world narrowing down to the two of you. His presence seemed to envelop you, a warmth that you had once only felt in his friendship, but now
 it felt different. It felt like it was pulling you in, like gravity itself had shifted, and the only place you could go was to him.
You raised your hand instinctively, your fingers brushing against his sleeve, and then, without saying a word, your lips met his.
It wasn’t urgent. It wasn’t the wild, impetuous kiss of a first love or an overwhelming rush of emotion. It was something softer, quieter—a hesitant question that had never been asked. You could feel the uncertainty between you both, as if neither of you was sure what this meant, but you both knew you needed it. You needed to close the gap, to answer the question that had hung between you for so long. It was a kiss that felt like the very beginning of something, not a culmination.
But then, as the seconds stretched, as the warmth of his lips against yours seemed to sink deeper into your skin, something shifted. The hesitation melted away. It was like the dam inside you had finally broken, letting all the emotions that had been bottled up for years flow out in one sweeping wave. The kiss deepened, soft and slow, but urgent now—as if you were both finally allowing yourselves to feel everything you had kept locked away. His hand gently cupped the back of your neck, pulling you closer, as if he couldn’t get close enough. And you—your hands found their place on his chest, feeling the steady beat of his heart beneath your fingertips. The rhythm matched your own, and it felt like you were syncing with him in a way that was more intimate than anything you had ever known.
In that moment, you felt like you were being seen—not just as the girl who loved Jack, but as yourself. As you—the person Luke had always seen and loved in his quiet, steady way, even when you had been blind to it. It wasn’t just the touch of his lips on yours. It was everything—his patience, his understanding, his willingness to wait for you to finally see him for who he truly was.
When you pulled away, your breath came in short, shaky bursts. You couldn’t remember the last time you felt so exposed, so utterly vulnerable. But at the same time, it felt like everything had fallen into place. All the fear, all the doubt—it had evaporated in the warmth of the kiss, leaving only the quiet certainty that this, whatever this was, was real.
You rested your forehead against his, your breaths mingling together as you both tried to catch your breath, to come back to reality. His eyes were closed, his brow furrowed slightly, as if he couldn’t quite believe this was happening either. The two of you, standing there in the quiet of the evening, under the pale light of the setting sun, it felt surreal, but it was also exactly where you were meant to be.
Luke’s thumb brushed over your cheek, the motion tender and slow, like he was memorizing the feel of you beneath his touch. He opened his eyes then, looking at you with a depth that made your heart skip a beat. There was no anger in his gaze, no resentment for the years you had spent blind to him. There was only something softer—something more powerful. Something that told you he had always known you would come back to him, even if you didn’t know it yourself.
He let out a shaky breath, the words escaping him quietly, as if he were confessing something deeply private. “I’ve waited so long for you to see me like this. To see me for me.”
The weight of his words landed on you like a soft wave, gentle but impossible to ignore. You hadn’t seen him—not truly. Not until now. But now, in this moment, you could see everything. Every little piece of him that had been hidden in the quiet corners of your heart, waiting for you to wake up.
You leaned into his touch, closing your eyes for a second, savoring the feeling of being held, of finally being seen. His words echoed in your mind, and you felt an overwhelming ache in your chest, a deep sense of longing that had always been there but had been buried under years of hesitation, confusion, and missed opportunities.
“I’m sorry,” you whispered, your voice breaking as the truth finally tumbled from your lips. “I didn’t know. I should’ve seen you. I should’ve been there. I didn’t
”
He shook his head softly, interrupting you with a quiet smile, the kind that made your heart ache with tenderness. “You’re here now,” he said, his voice full of warmth, of understanding, of everything he had been waiting for. “That’s all that matters.”
And in that moment, you realized that he was right. The past didn’t matter anymore. The things you had missed, the time you had wasted—it didn’t matter, because you were here now. Together.
You took a deep breath, pulling away slightly to look at him. The future was still uncertain—still unknown. But standing here, in the quiet, the world around you seemed to fade. The wind ruffling the trees, the soft murmur of the lake—it all became background noise, insignificant compared to the pull between the two of you.
And when you looked at Luke, you didn’t see Jack’s younger brother anymore. You didn’t see the boy who had been stuck in the shadows of his older brother’s life. You saw Luke—the boy who had always been there, waiting, loving, patient. And for the first time, you were able to see him for who he truly was.
And that was enough. That was more than enough.
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The next summer at the lake house felt like a new chapter, a fresh breeze sweeping through the familiar spaces. The house, though unchanged in its appearance, felt different to you—like it had grown, expanded, become something more than it had ever been. The old rhythms were still there. Jack’s easy laugh echoed in the kitchen, Alyssa’s chatter floated through the air, and Quinn’s voice was a steady undercurrent, always with that knowing smile. But there was something new now. Something you couldn’t put into words, something that had shifted in the space between you and Luke, something that made the house feel like a home.
As you walked through the front door, your heart fluttered slightly in your chest, a mixture of excitement and nerves. The familiar scent of the lake, the wood of the house, and the salty air filled your senses. You had missed it all, but it felt different now. You had avoided this place for so long, spent so many months running from it, running from him. And now, standing here, you felt a mix of both vulnerability and relief. You knew what had changed—it was the way you saw Luke now, not just a background figure in your life. He was Luke. And he was everything you had needed and didn’t know you had been waiting for.
When you walked into the living room, your eyes immediately found him. Luke was standing by the window, his broad shoulders relaxed, and that warm smile of his lighting up his face. It was the same smile you had seen a thousand times, but now it felt like it was meant for you, and you couldn’t help but return it. His gaze flickered over to you, and his smile deepened—no longer the shy, almost hesitant grin you had seen before, but a confident, knowing one. He waved, his eyes playful, but there was no longer any hesitation between you. No more distance. No more of the quiet longing that had once been there. Just Luke. Just the two of you.
You found yourself walking toward him, almost instinctively, like you were following some unseen thread that had always been pulling you closer. As you approached, he reached for your hand, slipping his fingers into yours with an ease that felt completely natural. The touch felt right, as though the universe had always intended for you two to be this way.
Jack was sitting on the couch, his arm around Alyssa, and Quinn was leaning against the doorframe, his arms crossed but with a small, knowing smile on his face. It was as if Quinn could see something in you and Luke that no one else could, like he had been waiting for this moment for years. His smile was subtle, but there was a quiet pride in it, a quiet satisfaction. He knew what this meant. He had watched his younger brother love you from the sidelines, and now, as he looked at the way you and Luke stood together, there was a peace in his eyes. It was as if he had been holding his breath for so long, waiting for Luke’s feelings to be reciprocated, and now, finally, they were.
The evening passed like it always did, with laughter and familiar chatter filling the space. But there was a new dynamic now—one that everyone could feel. Jack, ever the easygoing older brother, noticed the subtle but undeniable shift between you and Luke. He didn’t say anything, but you could see it in his eyes when he caught your gaze—acknowledgment, understanding, and maybe even a little relief. Jack had never been the type to need to understand everything, but he could see what had always been there between you and Luke, and now, seeing the way Luke’s eyes lit up when he looked at you, seeing the way you seemed to belong by his side—it was clear. There was no need for words. The change had come, and it was undeniable.
When the evening wore on and the sun began to dip low over the lake, painting the sky in warm golden hues, you and Luke found yourselves outside. The air had cooled, the breeze soft and comforting, and you both gravitated to the old bench by the water. It was the same bench where so much had unfolded between you in the past, where you had first realized the depth of your feelings, where you had started to see Luke in a new light. It felt almost like fate that you would return here, as if this spot, this place by the water, was the point where everything had started to change.
Luke sat down first, his hand still holding yours, and you followed suit, settling beside him. His arm brushed against yours, and for a moment, the two of you just sat there, letting the quiet wash over you. The soft rustling of the trees, the gentle lapping of the water, the distant call of birds settling in for the night—it was all so familiar, yet now it felt new. The air between you and Luke was filled with an unspoken understanding, a peace that neither of you had ever experienced before. You didn’t need to say anything. You didn’t need to explain the emotions swirling between you, because you both felt them. You were here. Together. And that was enough.
Luke’s hand gently slid into yours, his fingers entwining with yours like it was the most natural thing in the world. You looked over at him, your heart swelling as you realized how far you had come. The awkwardness, the uncertainty, the hesitation—they were all gone now, replaced with something deep and sure. You finally felt like you had arrived, not just at the lake house, but at a place where you could truly be yourself, where you could finally see Luke for who he was and love him the way he had always loved you.
The stars began to twinkle overhead, the sky darkening as the night crept in. The silence between you wasn’t uncomfortable anymore. It was peaceful. And when you looked over at Luke, you saw him looking up at the sky too, a soft smile on his lips, the glow from the stars reflecting in his eyes.
“I never thought this would happen,” you said softly, your voice almost drowned out by the peaceful sounds of the night. “I didn’t know I was running from the one thing that was right in front of me all along.”
Luke’s eyes met yours then, and he gave your hand a gentle squeeze. “You’re here now,” he said, his voice steady and full of warmth. “And that’s all that matters.”
The words were simple, but they held so much weight. You had been running, yes, but you had stopped now. And in stopping, you had found something more beautiful than you had ever imagined. You had found him. And that was enough.
As you sat there, side by side, under the stars, you realized that everything had come full circle. All the years of missed moments, all the moments of doubt and confusion—they were behind you now. You were finally here, with Luke, where you both belonged. And as the cool breeze ruffled your hair and the distant hum of the night surrounded you, you felt like the world was finally right again.
And from where you sat, you could see Quinn watching from the porch, that small but knowing smile still on his face, as if he knew this moment was a long time coming. Luke had always deserved this. And now, finally, he had it. He had you. And you had him.
In that moment, there was nothing left to do but lean into him, feeling the steady beat of his heart beside you. The world might have been uncertain, but here, with him, you felt more certain than you ever had before. And you knew that, for once, you wouldn’t run anymore. You were right where you were meant to be.
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pupkinpumpkin · 8 months ago
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Thinking of Rook always having this mask of humor and chillness at all waking moments, but there are these little moments, where the worry and the stress and the fear are shown in a small downturn of the lips, a quiver of the voice, a furrow of the brow, or a nervous laugh. But then their mask is right back on.
The companions joke about how hard it is to read Rook or they comment on how confident they always look. Rook is their leader and sometimes they seem utterly untouchable.
Then they get sent to the Regret Prison. Everyone is obviously terrified and worried for their safety, but they don't imagine Rook being scared. They imagine Rook blazing through the prison, too stubborn and fierce to be kept down. So the only option is to meet them in the middle. Rook has inspired and helped them all so much that they spend those missing weeks working to get them out, because Rook would've done the same for them.
Finally, after weeks of trial and error, they find a tear in the Fade, just big enough to pull Rook out of. When they pull them out, they expect to see Rook exhausted but relieved. They expect a joke or for Rook to tease them for worrying so much. But that's not what they find.
They find Rook, shaken, sobbing, and scared. There is relief in their eyes, but that mask they always wore is gone, worn away by the prison, revealing all the terror and doubt that they tried so desperately to hide.
For the first time in this entire adventure, Rook is the one who needs to be comforted and taken care of. But that's a lie. Rook always needed help. They were just so busy helping the others with their problems that they never allowed themselves to feel the true weight of their emotions and they NEVER allowed their friends to see how fucking fragile they always were. How they were always so close to losing themselves. Rook never truly allowed anyone to see them. Not even their lover.
And now, in this moment where they are finally letting out everything they've kept so hidden, the companions rush to their side. Emmrich is checking if they're hurt, Bellara or Lucanis insists on making them food, Taash or Davrin go look for the comfiest blanket they can find(if Davrin is alive, that blanket is Assan), and, if Harding or Neve is there, they calm Rook down enough to where Rook can finally speak without their voice shaking. Rook's love holds them close while the others all sit around Rook and just listen.
Rook never expected anyone to take care of them, that was their job. They're the leader. Helping everyone else with their problems was enough. But as they explain what happened in the Regret prison, and realize that their friends don't judge or see them any less, Rook feels this profound sense of catharsis. Before Tearstone Island, all the companions set out to deal with their own problems and worries, with Rook by their side, and now each one is here for Rook as they finally let that mask fall and allow themselves to feel everything.
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neobunnydoy · 5 months ago
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Clingy | Jung Jaehyun (M)
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pairing idol! jung jaehyun x producer! fem! reader
genre and content established relationship, TOOTH ROTTING FLUFF aka clingy and sulky jaehyun, mark interrupting jaehyun's cuddle time aww (ft. haechan), also suggested smut mdni (idk do I really need an M tag to the title?? help a girl out)
word count 1.2k
author’s note okay so I had this dream about jaehyun (miss you bro). how can you wake up after dreaming about clingy jaehyun and not write it down, yk? also the fact that mark and haechan are attached by the hips even in my dreams is so fucking funny to me idek why they were there
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“Hey, what are you doing here?”
“I don’t know how to write this down in a text, but I just got a sick idea, dude.” Mark was practically vibrating with excitement at your hotel door.
“And
?” You gave him a questioning look before shifting your gaze to Haechan, who was standing beside him with a blank expression.
“I honestly don’t know. We were eating together, and he just walked out of the room, so I followed him,” Haechan admitted with a shrug.
You chuckled and stepped aside, letting them in.
127 was on tour, and dating Jaehyun, you were sharing a room with him. Conveniently, you were also one of SM’s songwriters and producers, currently working on Mark’s upcoming album.
The concert had ended, and you’d been waiting for Jaehyun to finish showering when Mark and Haechan showed up. Before they arrived, you had already been texting back and forth with Mark about new song ideas. It wasn’t unusual for him to get random bursts of inspiration and message you immediately.
But apparently, this idea was too good for a text. He had to brainstorm with you in person, which, considering you were only a few doors away in the same hotel, was kind of convenient.
Mark immediately started explaining his concept, his hands gesturing animatedly as you pulled out your laptop. It was easier this way. Having all your music applications at your fingertips allowed you to map out the idea in real time, even with the limited equipment you’d brought.
Meanwhile, Jaehyun was in the bathroom, freshly showered and dressing himself. He was looking forward to finally relaxing. Preferably with you curled up in his arms. Not that he’d ever admit it to the other members, but he was clingy as fuck, especially when he was exhausted.
As he brushed his teeth, he heard muffled voices coming from the room. His brows furrowed. Who the hell is in my room at this hour?
Once he was done, he walked out, surprised to see Mark and Haechan making themselves comfortable.
“You’re done?” you asked, glancing at him briefly from the bed. You were seated cross-legged with your laptop, while Mark and Haechan lounged in the chairs across from you.
“Sorry, hyung. I’m stealing your girlfriend for a bit. I just had this crazy idea for my new song,” Mark was grinning at him, obviously bursting with excitement.
“And I still don’t know why I’m here, so don’t even ask,” Haechan preemptively added, already anticipating Jaehyun’s confusion.
Jaehyun nodded at his response, though still slightly confused. “You gonna be long? I wanna sleep.”
“No, no, this won’t take long. I’m just mapping things out so we don’t forget,” you assured him. He hummed in response before crawling into bed.
Turns out, won’t take long was a total lie. It had been thirty minutes, and you and Mark were still going strong, bouncing ideas off each other at lightning speed. Even Haechan had grown bored and was now playing a mobile game, completely disengaged. Jaehyun, on the other hand, was trying his best to stay patient.
At first, he had distracted himself with his phone, scrolling aimlessly. But the more time passed, the more irritated he became. He’d been looking forward to this. Cuddling, kissing you, just recharging after the exhausting two-day concert. Tomorrow’s flight wasn’t too early, which meant you had a rare opportunity to just be together. And now Mark was stealing that from him.
It wasn’t like he could say anything, though. Maybe it was pride, or maybe it was the fact that he’d cultivated this reputation as the cool, private guy of the group. Even after a year of dating, the members had never seen the two of you being openly affectionate. No hand-holding, no cuddling, nothing.
But this was supposed to be your alone time, and he was quickly reaching his limit.
Closing his phone, Jaehyun sat up and moved behind you, peering over your shoulder to see what you were working on.
“You can sleep first if you’re tired, you know,” you murmured, glancing at him briefly.
Wow. Really? You couldn’t even look at him for more than a second?
“No, that’s fine. I wanna see what you guys are up to,” he replied smoothly.
So he stayed, quietly watching. Before he knew it, he had rested his chin on your shoulder, closing the distance between you. His chest pressed against your back as he exhaled deeply, as if grounding himself.
Without thinking, you tilted your head slightly to let him lean more comfortably. It was sweet, really. He was obviously tired but still wanted to cuddle you.
Mark, mid-sentence, faltered. His eyes darted toward Jaehyun, then back to you, then back to Jaehyun again. He was surprised seeing his hyung acting so.... cute.
Haechan, too, had put his game on pause, watching the scene unfold with wide eyes. Huh. So Jaehyun hyung did like skinship. Guess this is what he looks like when he’s in love.
“What were you saying, Mark?” you prompted, absentmindedly running your fingers through Jaehyun’s hair with your free hand, stroking his cheek the way he liked.
Fuck, that feels good, Jaehyun thought. Eyes fluttering shut, practically melting into you. He needed this. He didn’t even care that the others were there anymore. Wrapping his arms around your waist, he buried himself against you, fully relaxing at last.
Mark hesitated. He suddenly felt like an intruder, like he had just walked in on something intimate.
“You know what, it’s okay, noona. I’ll just text you the rest,” Mark said, rubbing the back of his neck.
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah, yeah. I’m tired anyway,” he lied. “And me and Haechan still haven’t finished our meal.”
“God, finally. Our noodles are probably ice cold by now,” Haechan groaned dramatically, standing up and stretching.
“See you later, noona. Thanks for the impromptu session,” Mark said as they both made their way to the door.
The moment the door clicked shut, Jaehyun mumbled, “Finally.”
You laughed, amused at how shameless he had been. You never thought he’d actually act this affectionate in front of his dongsaengs. He was always so private, so controlled. But the fact that he couldn’t hold back just because he needed you that much? It made your heart swell.
“Sorry it took so long, baby.” You turned to face him, wrapping your arms around his neck, and he immediately tackled you onto the bed, his full weight pressing into you. Burying his face in the crook of your neck.
He only hummed in response, too tired to say anything else.
“Wait, let me put my laptop away and turn off the lights,” you murmured, attempting to slip out of Jaehyun’s hold.
But the moment you tried to move, his arms only tightened around you, locking you in place as he let out a quiet, dramatic whine against your neck.
You bit back a laugh. He’s so cute like this. A sight meant only for you to see, to know. Well
 maybe not only you anymore, considering two of his dongsaengs had just witnessed his rare moment of clinginess.
“It’ll just be a second, baby. I promise,” you soothed, pressing a soft kiss to his forehead. His lips twitched into a small, sleepy smile before he begrudgingly loosened his grip, allowing you to slip away.
As quickly as you could, you shut your laptop, placed it on the nightstand, and flicked off the lights.
You climbed back into bed, immediately curling into his warmth, and as you stared at his tired expression, you couldn’t help but giggle, remembering how sulky he had been earlier.
Jaehyun cracked one eye open, voice barely above a whisper. “Why are you laughing?”
You bit your lip, trying to suppress another laugh. “Someone’s definitely going to be a topic of discussion in the group chat tomorrow.”
He exhaled, already knowing exactly what you meant. The teasing from the members was inevitable at this point.
“I don’t even fucking care anymore,” he grumbled, pulling you closer as if to make up for the lost time. “They were stealing my girlfriend.”
You laughed outright this time, tracing slow circles on his back. “Nobody was stealing anyone.”
“Yeah, but you let him use our cuddle time,” he muttered, nuzzling against your shoulder.
“Aw
 sorry, baby. I’ll make it up to you,” you cooed, pressing gentle kisses across his face, his forehead, his cheeks, the tip of his nose, until he finally let out a satisfied hum.
His grip on you eased slightly, but before he could fully relax, he added, “I had an idea of how you should beg for my forgiveness
 but I don’t have the energy to move right now.”
You smirked, immediately catching on to where his sleepy mind was going.
Without hesitation, you shifted, slowly moving to straddle his waist. The second your warmth settled over him, Jaehyun’s tired eyes fluttered open. Still heavy-lidded, still drowsy, but now undeniably intrigued.
You giggled, thoroughly amused that this was what managed to stir him awake.
“Well,” you leaned down, your lips just barely grazing his. “I can work with that. You just stay still, okay?” you whispered against his lips, hands trailing down his torso.
“Fuck,” he muttered, voice husky, as you leaned in to kiss him deeply. “Yeah make it up to me, baby.” You laughed. “All that sulking just because Mark stole me for, what, thirty minutes?”
Your fingers slips under his shirt, tracing slow deliberate patterns against his bare skin, feeling the warmth radiating from his body.
Jaehyun let out a low groan. “Felt like hours.”
You laughed softly, nails scraping lightly against his abs, making him shudder.
“Poor baby,” you cooed, pressing kisses down his neck. “I guess I really do have to make it up to you, huh?” His response was a deep, satisfied hum, tightening the grip on your hips encouraging you to take control.
Yeah, he wasn’t getting any sleep anytime soon. But with you wrapped around him like this, he doesn't really mind.
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notesofthemountain · 10 days ago
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The Favorite
♡ Author’s note: English isn’t my first language, so sorry if something feels a bit off! Thanks a lot for reading, and please remember this is just fiction — nothing personal ♡♡♡
♡ Content: platonic bond (platonic S.Coups x reader), 14th member of Seventeen, reader is S.Coups’ favorite, slice of life, light angst, fluff, a bit of humor
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The practice room was quieter than usual. Even though it was early in the morning, most of the members were still asleep. However, the one brimming with energy was S.Coups — and it wasn’t just because he liked to start the day off right. No. It was because three members were late, and irritation was starting to crawl up his spine with every second that passed without them walking through the door.
It took ten minutes before a disheveled and anxious Mingyu finally rushed in.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m really sorry, hyung,” he apologized, bowing to the group leader, who eyed him with suspicion.
“Make sure it doesn’t happen again. Got it? You can explain later what excuse you came up with for being this late,” he muttered, rubbing his forehead in frustration.
Mingyu nodded nervously and went over to the rest of the boys, who were still sitting on the floor waiting to begin rehearsal—except for Hoshi, who was already running through the choreography in his head.
“Seriously, where are these kids? I’m gonna have to count how many new gray hairs I’ve grown tonight,” S.Coups muttered sarcastically.
Jeonghan, watching him with an amused look, replied, “Well, that’s what happens when you’re the oldest and the leader, right? Plus, one of the people missing is your favorite, you know.”
At that, Seungcheol crossed his arms and responded with a casual tone, “I know. But I’m sure something actually happened to her. You know traffic’s always awful from her place to here. That’s understandable. Unlike Dino—he’s getting his ears pulled later for showing up late to work.”
Just as he finished speaking, the door opened, and a completely exhausted and sweaty Dino stumbled in, like he’d just run a marathon. Right behind him, you entered—calm and composed—sipping iced coffee through a straw.
Jeonghan let out a laugh and called Joshua over to watch the scene unfold. The two of them positioned themselves like they were at the movies—only the popcorn was missing.
“So?” S.Coups asked, glaring directly at Dino.
“Well, hyung, you won’t believe this, but I was walking and almost got hit by a car. Then some old lady needed help with her groceries, and then, then—”
“Enough. Spare me the excuses. I want the truth. The real truth. Got it?” the leader snapped, cutting him off.
You were still calmly sipping your coffee. Honestly, S.Coups did scare you a little in moments like this—mostly because you didn’t have any excuse. And the truth was... more embarrassing than you'd like to admit. You had stayed up watching a new anime, telling yourself each episode would be the last.
Spoiler: it wasn’t.
You ended up getting only three hours of sleep, and even then, you struggled to get out of bed. Then came the coffee emergency—you needed caffeine to function, and of course, you had forgotten to restock. So you stopped by a cafĂ© on the way, which only made you later.
It only took a few seconds, but S.Coups gave you one of those leader stares that made you blurt out the truth immediately.
“I needed coffee, and the line at the cafĂ© was really long. That’s why I’m late,” you said, clutching your cup nervously.
He softened immediately and gave you a small smile.
“It’s okay. Totally understandable. I need coffee to start my day too. Next time, just text me and I’ll bring one for you to rehearsal,” he said with a warm smile, motioning you over to give you a short hug.
Dino sighed, relieved that his hyung had finally calmed down.
“I didn’t get any coffee... you don’t have some to spare, do you, hyung?” he asked, walking over.
“Don’t even think about asking for coffee right now. Go join the others—we’re already starting late,” S.Coups said, scolding the youngest, who stood there, mouth agape at how quickly his leader had switched moods.
“But, I bet she stayed up all night watching something and that’s why she got delayed at the cafĂ©,” Dino muttered, not wrong in the slightest.
“How do you know that? Do you live with Y/N now? She already said there was a line. Not her fault, okay?” S.Coups shot back, defending you.
Rolling his eyes, Dino turned and walked off toward the group, grumbling that he was only being scolded because you were clearly the leader’s favorite. And he wasn’t wrong about that either.
It was no secret to anyone that you were Seungcheol’s soft spot. He’d always kept you under his wing, like a mama hen protecting her chick from the world.
S.Coups gently ruffled your hair as you finished your coffee. You gave him a smile, and he looked at you with sparkling eyes as he guided you toward the others.
“Let’s go, sleepyhead,” he whispered with a grin that was only ever meant for you.
Jeonghan and Joshua watched with knowing smiles, watching how the oldest member always melted around you. Not that you had to do much to win him over. It must’ve just been part of the perks of being Seungcheol’s favorite.
-
This time, you were filming an episode of Going Seventeen—specifically, the MouseBusters episode. Naturally, you ended up as a mouse. And even though your hiding skills weren’t the greatest (and your running skills were worse), you still wanted to try your best and win.
Honestly though, just spending time and having fun with the boys was enough to get you excited to film this kind of content.
You’d asked the cameraman to let you carry the camera, because if not, it would be obvious a mouse was hiding there. You found a spot under some white tarps that covered sacks of material. It was a tight squeeze, but if you crouched and curled up into a ball, maybe you’d stay hidden. Hopefully. Because really, hiding there was more an act of faith than a solid strategy.
While making funny faces at the camera, you heard someone’s footsteps nearby. You couldn’t tell who it was, but you silently prayed they’d pass by without noticing.
No luck.
The tarp suddenly lifted, revealing your curled-up form.
“Got you!” shouted S.Coups, pointing a toy water gun at you.
But the moment he saw it was you, he laughed and lowered the gun.
You looked up at him, fully caught. Not that you could have escaped anyway—your running wouldn’t have saved you for more than three seconds.
“Since it’s my little mouse, Y/N, I’ll let you get away. But don’t tell anyone, okay? Otherwise, the guys will lock me up as a traitor,” he grinned, helping you to your feet. “Better find a new hiding spot fast—the others won’t take long to get here.”
Once you were out, he pulled you into a quick hug and chuckled at how cute you looked in the mouse costume.
“Why are you such an adorable little mouse?” he babbled, squishing your cheeks like you were a kid.
“S.Coups, come on. I’m not a little girl anymore. Can I go now?” you asked, glancing around to make sure no one saw.
“Yeah, yeah, I know you’ve grown. But I still can’t help wanting to take care of you—”
“Hyung!” a shout cut him off. His eyes widened in surprise.
“What are you doing being nice to a mouse? You’re supposed to catch them, not cuddle them!” Seungkwan yelled, running toward you.
“Alright, Y/N, time to run. Otherwise, all my efforts to protect you will have been for nothing,” S.Coups whispered, giving you a few gentle nudges.
You bolted down the alleyway—just in time to hear Seungkwan’s complaints.
“Hyung! Again?! Stop with the favoritism and help us win. You want to lose or what?!”
“Calm down, Mr. Thomas,” S.Coups replied without shame. “Her cuteness broke all my defenses. I was attacked.”
Seungkwan groaned dramatically.
And yes, being S.Coups’ favorite meant he’d take your side—even when his role was to be your greatest enemy in the game.
-
You had just finished another rehearsal for an upcoming performance. The members were excited but drained—these last few days had been intense. Still, it had all been worth it.
However, during practice, you couldn’t help noticing how Seungcheol flinched slightly every time a move forced his knee. Ever since the ligament injury, he had been pushing himself hard to hide the pain you could still clearly see. Even though he strained his knee several times, he said nothing. And as soon as rehearsal ended, he quietly left after saying goodbye to everyone.
You were worried about his knee. It hadn’t been that long since the injury, and he clearly wasn’t fully healed. But he never stopped—he always wanted to be there, to give his all, even if the pain burned him from the inside.
You knew he’d be in one of the break rooms, checking on things that weren’t even his responsibility. That was just who he was—leader, even in silence.
So, before going in, you grabbed an ice pack to help with the swelling. Without knocking, you entered and found him sitting there, his knee propped on a chair, staring at his laptop in deep focus.
He looked up when he heard you and smiled—though it looked more like a grimace.
“Hey, Y/N. How are you? You looked good in practice,” he greeted you, motioning to the chair next to him.
You walked over and sat beside him with a gentle smile. “I’m good, Cheol. But I could tell you weren’t,” you said, pointing at his knee. He winced. “I saw how much it hurt. You don’t have to push through it if you’re not okay.”
You gently placed the ice on his knee. He let out a relieved sigh.
“Thanks,” he murmured, still staring at his leg.
“It’s nothing. But Cheol, you don’t have to pretend everything’s fine. We know what happened, and we’re all here for you. If you need to rest, do it. We can change the choreography if needed. Just
 don’t force yourself,” you whispered, noticing the worry still in his eyes.
“I know I should talk about it. But I’m scared I won’t be the same. This injury, this knee... it’s like a sign I’m not who I used to be.”
S.Coups had always been the one in control. Steady. Reliable. And you could see how this had shaken him—both physically and emotionally.
“Maybe you’re not the same. But you’re still our Cheol. And that’s what matters,” you said with a soft smile. “As long as we’re together, the rest doesn’t matter.”
“Do you think I’m still doing okay as a leader? That this injury hasn’t made me...less?” he asked, his voice filled with uncertainty.
“You’re the best leader we could ever ask for. I’ll say that forever. You always look after us, make sure we’re okay, that everything’s done right—and none of that has changed,” you replied, resting your forehead on his shoulder as you hugged him sideways. “So please, let us take care of you now. Let me take care of you.”
He stroked your hair gently and hugged you tighter.
“You’re not less for needing rest. You’re human. And we love you all the more for it. To me, you’ll always be the one—the most worthy to lead this group,” you whispered into his arm.
Because yes, S.Coups was the leader who looked after everyone. But sometimes, he needed to be reminded just how amazing and valuable he truly was.
And yes—no one could deny you were a soft spot for Seungcheol. But by now, he had become yours too. Even if he only rarely showed his vulnerability, you’d always be there to hold him.
Because that was also one of the things that only he could have:
you, unconditionally.
-
/ᐠ. ïœĄ.ᐟ\ᔐᔉᔒʷˎˊ˗
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thatonegrimm · 14 days ago
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Can I req the saja boys comforting a reader who has adhd and likes dancing while listening to music but has to mask it so as not to seem weird? I imagine its especially hard in korea because people dont accept neurodivergent people alot, and they often do it more at home where they feel more safe to just be themselves.
Ahhh thank you so much for this request!💙 As someone with ADHD, I totally get it. Masking can be exhausting, especially in spaces where neurodivergence isn’t well understood or accepted. That feeling of needing to “turn off” parts of yourself just to avoid judgment? All too real. This one meant a lot to write and honestly, it got me so inspired I’m already thinking about a continuation. đŸ„č💭
🌙 Saja Boys –"When They Notice You Masking"
Sequel: "When They Join You"
Summary: You’ve always hidden the way you move to music — the stimming, the dancing, the joy — because you’ve learned that too much expression gets misunderstood. But the Saja Boys see it, quietly, and one by one, they let you know it’s safe to be yourself around them.
------------------------------------------
You dance when no one’s looking.
Not performance dancing — just you, vibing. Twisting to the rhythm, bouncing your shoulders, mouthing lyrics only you can hear. It’s joy, and motion, and impulse, and freedom.
But you don’t do it around people. Not often. Not outside. You’ve seen the looks. In Korea, people don’t always get it. They see “weird,” not “neurodivergent.” They see too much.
So you don’t give them more.
You smile smaller. Walk quieter. And save your dancing for home.
You don’t think the boys notice.
But they do.
----------------------------------------
🧿 Jinu
He hears it first — your music spilling faintly through the hallway.
He passes by the living room, intending to call out that dinner’s almost ready, but pauses at the doorway instead. You’re in your own world, dancing in wide, free movements, the kind that don’t ask permission. It’s loose, a little goofy, a little beautiful. You don’t even notice him watching.
He doesn’t interrupt.
Later, when you’re curled up on the couch, headphones in, he sits beside you and quietly offers one of his earbuds.
You blink at him. He doesn’t say anything at first. Just starts playing one of his playlists — something with a soft funk beat and warm synths — then gently bobs his head along.
“You don’t have to turn it down when I walk in,” he murmurs after a while. “I like seeing you like that.”
You glance down, a little shy.
He bumps your shoulder with his and smiles.
“I think you’ve got better rhythm than me anyway.”
---------------------------------
đŸ’Ș Abby
You don’t hear him come home early. You’re mid-twirl, snack bag in one hand, music in your ears, absolutely vibing through the hallway—when you nearly collide with him.
Your heart drops. You freeze mid-step, mouth half open in panic.
He just grins.
“Whoa. Interpretive dance?” “No—I was just—” “It was cool.”
You try to explain, but he holds up a hand gently.
“You don’t have to shrink,” he says. “I liked it.”
You eye him, unsure.
“You do that outside too?” “Not really.” “Why not?” “People stare.”
He tilts his head, thoughtful.
“Maybe they’re just jealous,” he says. “Of what?” “Of you looking so free.”
He steps aside dramatically and gestures to the hallway.
“Encore?”
You laugh. He gives a little hip wiggle in return — so bad it makes you cover your face with both hands.
“C’mon,” he chuckles, pulling your hands down. “Teach me how to move like you.”
You do. And he tries. Awfully. With the biggest, brightest grin you’ve ever seen.
-----------------------------
📚 Mystery
You thought he didn’t notice. Mystery doesn’t say much on good days, and you assumed he just thought of you as calm — like him. You work so hard to look composed around the others. Still. Collected.
But one night, when you think everyone’s gone quiet, you curl up in the corner of the common room with your music low and your body gently pulsing to the beat. Fingers tapping. Knees bouncing. Your body slipping into rhythm without thought.
You glance up. He’s watching.
You freeze.
He doesn’t look confused. Just curious. A little thoughtful. Then his head tilts.
“Why do you stop when people see?” “Because they look at me weird.” “You weren’t being weird,” he says softly. “You were being happy.”
You sit in silence for a moment.
He settles down beside you on the floor, shoulder to shoulder. Then, without asking, he reaches out and gently taps your wrist — matching your rhythm.
Your breath hitches.
“Keep going,” he says quietly. “I’ll follow.”
And he does.
------------------------------
💋 Romance
He’s known for a while. It’s the way you always move when it’s just the two of you — swaying at the sink, bouncing while brushing your teeth, spinning once on your way into a room.
But outside? You’re still. Controlled. Measured.
One day, after a long, quiet walk together, you finally let out a deep exhale the second you’re home — slumping against the wall, mask slipping off like it weighs ten pounds. Your fingers twitch for your headphones like a reflex.
Romance watches, silent, then steps into your space. Not close enough to corner. Just enough to meet your eyes.
“You always hold it in like that?” You shrug. “It’s easier. People stare.”
He doesn’t smile this time.
“They stare because they don’t get it. Not because you’re wrong.”
He steps closer and lifts your hand — then kisses your knuckles.
“You don’t have to be smaller to be loved.”
You swallow.
“Also,” he adds with a smirk, “you dance like you’re possessed. It’s hot.” “I flail.” “Flail more, then.”
---------------------------
đŸ”„ Baby
You left your door cracked open. He wasn’t even trying to spy — just headed to the kitchen when he caught the faint sound of your music and saw movement from the corner of his eye.
You, spinning. In socks. Headphones in, body fully surrendered to whatever beat’s got you wrapped around its little finger. You’re gone in the best way.
He watches for a moment, leaning against the wall. Not smirking. Not teasing. Just watching.
You spot him too late. Freeze mid-step. Your eyes go wide.
“Don’t stop,” he says, voice even. “I didn’t know you were there.” “Clearly.”
You fidget, embarrassed.
He nods toward your phone.
“That song’s good. Keep going.” “You’re gonna make fun of me.” “I won’t.” Then, serious: “You’re not weird. Okay? You’re just... alive.”
You don’t answer.
He sinks down to the floor, back against the wall, pulling his hoodie over his head in that quiet, casual way he does when he wants to be there without making noise.
Then, softly:
“Pretending’s exhausting. Don’t do it here.”
He taps the floor in rhythm. Stays while you press play again. Doesn’t move. Just lets you be you.
---------------------------------
M-List
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lvrclerc · 3 months ago
Text
✶ STEAL YOUR HEART, TONIGHT!
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summary: after the united states grand prix, the drivers decide to immerse themselves in the true american experience by going to the most infamous coyote ugly in austin to celebrate ─ needless to say, max is in for a culture shock, and maybe a little heart attack when one of the coyotes seems to take a fancy to him.
F1 MASTERLIST | MV33 MASTERLIST
pairing: max verstappen x coyote!f!reader
wc: 7.6k
cw: reader is implied to be southern/has a southern accent, reader smokes, alcohol, english is not my first language, sexual/romantic tension, i know next to nothing about coyote ugly this is based on vibes and vibes alone, use of y/n, bittersweet towards the end.
note: the idea of max verstappen just stepping in a coyote ugly is so funny to me. here's to lei @cntappen who wanted to see a max fic!
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WARNING!
You may get wet
You may lose your tie
You may lose your bra
No men on the bar
No touching the girls on the bar - even if it’s your own girlfriend, do that at home!
We don’t serve free water
If you pick a bad song on the jukebox, you may get skipped
If you are easily offended, this isn’t the bar for you
Be nice and have fun!
YOU WILL GET DRUNK, YOU WILL GET UGLY!
What did Max get into?
The words were written hastily on a board in front of the bar with a black marker, making him wonder how it successfully stood the test of time. The night was dark around the slightly weathered wooden structure, but the obnoxious neon red sign made each detail of the street clear as day: COYOTE UGLY.
It looked like something out of a bad, anachronic Western film ─ scratched paint, flickering lights, the low hum of American dad rock vibrating through the walls. Still, there was a line out of the door and people littering the front porch ─ girls in jean shorts and cowboy hats yelling to each other above the music, guys already stumbling out with their shirts unbuttoned too far.
Daniel was the one who insisted.
He flew in to watch the United States Grand Prix, as it would be the only one he’d be free enough to attend and it had been a little while since he caught up with some of the drivers ─ including Max, Max who had been the happy winner of the aforementioned Grand Prix. “Come on Maxie,” he’d said that afternoon wearing a cowboy hat he definitely didn’t pack. “After-parties are always the same. Fake VIP tables, same music, same people. We need something different for tonight! Something fun!”
Max had muttered that he was fine drinking in a familiar place and that nobody really went partying after Austin anyway ─ it was just another win, and they had a day to pack for Mexico. That was without knowing Daniel, obviously, who had already sent a group text. Much to Max's surprise ─ note the sarcasm ─ most of the drivers had declined due to exhaustion and the general reputation of Coyote Ugly. He thought that would be the end of it, until Lando, Carlos, Pierre and surprisingly Charles had all jumped at the idea like it was the goddamn social event of the season.
Mostly because Daniel had the talent to sell a bad idea to someone like a lawyer. And that─ that explained why Max was there.
Carlos was already walking ahead of them, sunglasses on despite the fact it was nearly midnight, yelling something to a drunkard behind him in fast Spanish. Charles trailed behind, squinting at the building like he was trying to figure out if the neon sign was ironic or a warning ─ Max concluded he didn’t look up what a Coyote Ugly was before tagging along. Lando was busy taking a selfie with a wannabe cowboy and cowgirl who stopped him, already in his element.
And now Max stood between Daniel and Pierre, outside this absurdly American fever dream of a bar, and he was pretty sure people were getting murdered inside. He wondered if Daniel had finally lost his mind.
“You’re going to thank me for this,” the latter declared, hands out like he was presenting a five-star resort instead of a glorified wooden box.
Max raised a brow. “No. I’m already regretting this.”
“I love it personally,” interjected Pierre. “Smells like tequila and questionable decisions.”
Daniel threw an arm around Max’s shoulders. “See? That’s the spirit. Come on, Max. Live a little. You just won a Grand Prix, you should be dancing somewhere.”
“I’m a driver, not a dancer. Especially not that type of dancer,” he deadpanned.
Pierre smirked. “You might not have a choice. I saw a line dance when I passed by the window, and someone getting body shots done on the bar.”
“You’re fucking kidding.” Max could feel himself blanching.
Daniel grinned like the devil himself, and Max wondered why he wasn’t in his hotel room. “Oh it’s real, mate. You’re in America─ home of deep-fried butter and girls with fire hoses full of Jack Daniels.”
Lando, who had finally rejoined them, snorted. “You sound wayyy too excited about this.”
“I am! This is culture,” Daniel insisted. “This is history. This is─”
He was cut off as someone inside screamed, followed by the unmistakable sound of a whip cracking. Max stared at the entrance, eyes narrowing at the figure of a woman sliding across the bar and before he could catch another glimpse─ the blur of the people inside blocked his view.
“... Is that even legal?” He asked.
Daniel just patted his back in fake reassurance. “Too late to back out now, champ.”
He ran to catch up with Carlos in front of them, leaving Max stranded in his own hesitation. Was he really going to
?
Pierre laughed, following suit. Well, he guessed it was indeed too late to back out, and Max never left things unfinished, after all.
The door slammed behind him like a final warning.
The heat of the bar hit Max like a punch. Everything was sweaty, loud, alive, sticking to his skin and prickling it. The floor vibrated beneath his feet from the raucous movements of the crowd, barely walkable, and the scent of whiskey and cheap perfume hung in the air. People were everywhere ─ dancing, shouting, laughing, adding to the bass escaping from the humongous, vintage jukebox in the back of the room.
Someone threw a bra across the room and no one even flinched. Carlos cheered.
It was lawless. Much more than what Max was used to.
“Welcome to America, baby!” Daniel hollered over the music, arms spread around him like he’d just stepped into a holy place.
Max shot him a look, dread comfortably installed in the pit of his stomach. He brushed someone’s feather boa off his arm with a scoff. “Is that what you call fun?”
“A little different from Monaco bottle service, huh?” Daniel grinned.
“Right now I’m just doubting your taste in bars.”
“Eh
,” the Australian clapped him on the back. “It builds character.”
Why would someone want to get literally hosed down with whiskey to build character, Max didn’t know ─ and it’s not like he pulled the example out of his ass: a guy was taking a whiskey shower in the middle of the room, given by a girl in very tight clothing and run-down chaps standing on the bar.
He squinted. “How is this even sanctioned?”
“Man, you ask yourself way too many questions, just enjoy! Look at the others, at least they’re already having fun.”
Carlos was already gone, swallowed up by a pack of cowboy boots and red lipstick, while Lando and Charles were making their way toward the bar with wide eyes and the kind of expression Max hadn’t seen since their karting days. Pierre vanished. Someone bumped into his shoulder so hard it almost knocked the wind out of him.
In the end, he just sighed. He wouldn’t win that fight. “If I get anything poured on me, I’m leaving.”
Daniel laughed. “Don’t worry, they’ll only do it if you ask. Or not. Anyways, let’s get a drink!”
Max started walking toward the bar, following in Lando and Charles’ footsteps before Daniel could even finish his sentence. If he wanted to survive the evening ─ hell, even just the ambiance ─ he needed something to keep him going. Preferably cold. Preferably strong. Preferably now.
But that’s when the music shifted, the lights dimmed ever so slightly, and suddenly ─ everything changed.
A warm glow from old projectors cut through the red haze, casting gold across the surface of the bar like a spotlight, and just like that, the crowd moved. Turned their heads toward the long wooden structure like it was a stage and not the stickiest surface in Texas. Someone behind Max let out a whoop so loud it nearly startled him, “Hell yeah, that’s what I’m talking about!” 
In the shuffles of bodies and beer, Max lost sight of Daniel completely.
He would have cared in any other circumstances, and maybe a part of him did at the moment, but he was only human ─ his gaze caught on the bar as well. More specifically, his gaze caught on you as you stepped into the light.
Crimson red cowboy boots first, planted strongly on the bar top, followed by the curve of your legs and the ripped, distressed hem of your shorts, the glint of a belt buckle looking like it carried multiple stories. Your tank top clung to your skin in the heat, and you were probably drenched in something ─ what, Max wouldn’t want to guess. Your hair was catching on the light, wildfire-like, almost matching the red neons. One of your hands lifted in the air, claiming the moment, and the other held a mic ─ beat up, wrapped up in tape, completely yours.
You didn’t ask for the attention of the people in front of you, no. You commanded it.
“LET’S WAKE THIS DAMN CITY UP!” You shouted into the mic, voice hoarse and tone ecstatic, and the whole room erupted.
And the music kicked in again, louder this time ─ an unapologetic, southern rock anthem beating against the wall. You dropped low, hips rolling to the beat while your hands gripped the metal bar above you to keep you on your feet. You popped back up with a loud, teasing laugh, and, mid spin, someone handed you a bottle. You poured the liquor straight into a row of open mouths, feeding the fire you started.
Max couldn’t get himself to look away.
If all the other bartenders, or coyotes as Lando affectionately corrected earlier in the night, looked like they performed the overt confidence, you didn’t: you looked in your element, basking in the spotlight, the attention and the smell of burnt wood. And it wasn’t just the way you moved, no ─ it was the way you owned it. Unbothered, untouchable. Like the bar was yours. The music, the night? Yours too.
And then for a second, just one ─ you looked at him. Dead in the eyes, over the crowd. Over the sweat and light and noise, and you threw him a grin. 
You caught him staring.
It should have been meaningless, the moment barely lasted enough to make note of it, but Max’s breath still hitched. The beat of the music wasn’t the only thing making his heart stutter off rhythm.
The chaos dulled, the music softened and just like that, you were gone. Lost behind the bar in the sea of bodies crawling in front of it. Max blinked. He wondered if he hallucinated you. 
He shook his head to get rid of the haze his mind settled into. Before he could have time to think about anything else, or even try, an arm dropped around his shoulders and a cowboy hat was on his head. Daniel had reappeared. “What a show, huh?” He said.
“Where’d you go?” Max asked, rearranging the hat on his head. He knew that if he took it off now, Daniel would be quick to put it back on.
“Went to fetch you this. Stole it from someone puking in the corner,” Max's nose scrunched at the mental image. “Come on, let’s finally get that drink. Maybe the Coyote you’ve been ogling during the whole perf’ will serve you.”
He protested. “I wasn’t ogling.” Because he wasn’t. I mean ─ what else was he supposed to do? Look at the ground while you danced? But Daniel was already on his way toward the bar and this time, Max followed him without much of a complaint. Mainly because he had been eyeing the spot you disappeared behind for the entire conversation.
People crowded around the wooden counter like it was a lifeboat. Arms waving, voices raised, someone yelling for shots and someone else already halfway to a table with three beers in each hand. The bartenders, sorry, Coyotes, moved like machines ─ fast, efficient, ruthless. Max tucked himself between Daniel and Pierre, who had reappeared as well, with difficulty.
And then, he spotted you again.
It was more like flashes of you, really. A hand catching a bottle mid-air. A flash of glitter on your cheek. A bandana tied around your wrist. Your voice cut through the air like smoke, low and teasing and just loud enough to carry. That’s what made Max’s head snap ─ it was unsettlingly recognizable, even after hearing so little of it.
“That’s your third tequila, cowboy. You aiming to dance or blackout first?”
Someone laughed ─ a rough, lovesick sound ─ and you grinned without looking up as you slid another shot glass across the bar. Through their drunk delusions, everyone around the table probably assumed they were in love with you, Max thought.
He stepped up, hands braced against the edge of the counter, waiting. That was when you turned and for the second time tonight, you looked right at him, as if feeling his presence before he could even call for another bartender.
Jesus fuck─ up close, you were something else entirely. Sun-warmed and sun-kissed skin, your cheeks were flushed from the heat along with your sweat-slicked collarbones. Your lips were pulled into the kind of smirk he’s sure could cause car crashes, and your eyes sparkled under the bar lights ─ like you knew exactly what he was searching for.
If you did, spare the poor soul and tell him, because Max wasn’t sure he wanted that drink anymore.
“You lost?” You asked. Your tone was smooth, a southern accent dripping from every word. God, that was dangerous.
Max blinked. Oh, he was gaping. “No,” he affirmed, a little too harshly.
Your eyes, intense, dragged over him, twinkling a little brighter than before. “You look lost.”
Max suddenly felt very conscious of how much he had to be sticking out. He had no outfits or items of clothing that fit this type of place ─ the light-washed jeans, the tennis shoes, and the black, short-sleeved shirt with his Formula One number in the back was as casual as he could do without looking homeless. The cowboy hat had to add some more ridiculousness to it, he realized.
He cleared his throat, frowning slightly. He usually wasn’t one to really care about outfits. “Just a drink, please.”
You leaned in, close enough that Max could smell your perfume. Warm, sugary, intoxicating. “Name your poison, pretty boy.”
Pretty boy. He gulped. For fuck’s sake, where did the confidence he had a few hours earlier go, when he was brandishing the Austin trophy?
“Whatever’s strongest.” God knows he needs it right now.
You just gave him a look ─ just the faintest eyebrow raise, clearly amused. Grabbing a bottle from behind you with practiced ease, you poured without measuring, slid a glass toward him with one hand, and propped the other on your hip, where Max’s eyes lingered a little too long.
“Try that,” you said. “If it doesn’t knock the edge off, I’ll give you a second round for free.”
He reached for the glass. You looked too smug, challenging him like he was no one to you, which he probably was. But Max liked a challenge, he was known for never backing out after all. He handled stronger for sure and America wasn’t the place that was about to teach him alcohol. He threw the whole glass back.
It burned.
His eyes watered, and Max coughed so hard he thought fire was about to spill out from his esophagus. You, on the other hand, looked delighted, grinning widely at his misery.
“You hate it.”
“I didn’t say that.”
You laughed, and the sound echoed in Max’s chest like cathedral bells, so violently he froze. Must be the alcohol.
Noticing his lack of retort, you leaned your elbows onto the bar, eyes dancing. “Aww, ain’t you too pretty to be looking this miserable?”
You were going to be the death of him. The corner of your mouth curled as if you’d just lit up a fuse. Max swallowed, slowly recovering from the short circuit your voice alone had triggered. “Is that how you greet all of your customers─ uh
” He choked out, searching for your name on your shirt.
“Y/N.” The name sounded good sliding off your tongue. Max felt the need to know how it felt sliding off his. “And only the ones who look like they took a wrong turn at a country club,” you commented, chin propped in your hand, eyes still locked on his. TouchĂ©. “You got that look─ y’know, European.” You whispered that as if it was a bad word. “Quiet, repressed. Secretly judging everyone.”
“That’s harsh.” He raised an eyebrow. “I’m not judging.” He was. He just wasn’t judging you.
“Sure you’re not, Verstappen.”
Oh. Your tone was casual, tossed off like nothing ─ but the sound of his name in your mouth made something flicker in his chest. Not how you said it, even though the accent and the inflections played a part in it, but the fact you said it at all.
You knew who he was, and clearly ─ you didn’t give two shits.
“Anyways,” you kept on going, oblivious or choosing not to care about the semi-amused grin that slipped on Max’s face. “The drink in your hand says otherwise.”
He glanced down. He threw the glass back, yes, but the liquid was so strong he couldn’t even get half of it down before choking on it. “I’m drinking it.”
“Barely.”
Max straightened a bit. “Okay. Fine.” Again, his tone was harsher than he actually meant it to be. He just didn’t know how to handle whatever was happening there ─ your smiles, your presence. “What should I be drinking then?”
You didn’t answer right away ─ just tilted your head, eyes sweeping over him slowly, deliberately, like you were appraising a new kind of game. It sent shivers down his spine, and he was deeply ashamed to say he was enjoying it. “You trust me, pretty boy?”
There was the nickname again. “I don’t not trust you,” which was as far as he could go after knowing you for a dance and a drink. Maybe he needed more. Just to make sure you wouldn’t poison him.
“That’s a whole lotta syllables for yes!” You laughed, already moving, pulling down bottles Max could barely recognize, tossing ice into a shaker with a rhythm that matched the beat of the song playing overhead. Your hands moved fast, confident, dancing between ingredients as if you were born behind this bar.
Max was fast, yes, but not in the way you were ─ intricate, careful. Just like that, he was hypnotized again, eyes tracing your every movement.
It broke when you slid another drink toward him. Something golden, fizzing at the top, smelling like citrus and vanilla. Like you. “Go on, drink.”
He eyed the glass. “What’s in it?”
“You said you trusted me.”
“You put the words in my mouth.”
You barked out a surprised laugh. “Either drink or I’m telling your lil’ blond friend with the camera you can’t handle your liquor,” you nodded behind Max with a sharp grin. “Wonder how that’ll go down.”
He glanced over his shoulder, and Lando had his camera zeroed on him in a way that may have tried to be discreet but miserably failed. Max muttered a curse. First, because Lando had the bad habit of filming everything and for it to get leaked the day after ─ so if their little outing wasn’t public information already, it would be by tomorrow morning. Second, based on his first point, he couldn’t possibly be dragged through the dirt for going to a Coyote Ugly and have the reputation of a lightweight. His Dutch heritage would look like a joke. Max brought the glass to his lips.
It tasted like heat, honey, whiskey, and something floral he couldn’t name. “That’s
 actually good.”
“Told you you should trust me,” you said, pleased. “Don’t worry your pretty little head, I taste-test all the cocktails before I serve them. I’m not that much of a degenerate.”
You wet your lips, and Max’s eyes caught onto them for a split second. He wouldn’t let himself acknowledge the thought that almost formed in his head.
Instead, he blinked. “Are you always like this?”
“Like what?”
“So
 intense.” It was a genuine question. He met people with fire, he worked with them daily, and he could consider himself one in a way ─ however, it was the contained kind. The one that was shaped to work toward a goal. You were a forest fire, spreading, in constant reach of something. Max was sure your fingerprints could burn themselves on his skin if you let them linger long enough. 
You laughed ─ loud and shameless. “Apparently. Tends to flare up when I’m bored.”
And maybe it was the alcohol, or the raucous crowd ignoring you both entirely, making it seem like you had your own, private sphere, but Max leaned forward, just enough to make your eyes imperceptibly widen by the action. It made his stomach lurch with a strange kind of pride. “And are you bored right now?”
You looked at him, gaze heavy with meaning. “Not anymore.”
Max felt something stir low in his chest ─ heat, curiosity, the burn of your drink still coating his throat. He wished he could have lingered on it, maybe make sense of it but you took it from him, leaning back and breaking the tension with a sly glint in your eyes. A reminder you were in control of the room.
“You ever poured a shot before, pretty boy?” You asked.
That was a change of topic. “Uh─ no?”
“Well, that’s about to change.”
Before he could argue, or even ask what you meant, your fingers stroked his wrist and he forgot about everything he was going to say. That’s when you tugged him forward, He didn’t resist, more out of shock than anything else, but next thing he knew he was behind the bar, ducking under the pass-through from which Coyotes went and left. Pushing him into your world.
The heat was much worse with the change of scenery ─ the lights brighter, the music louder, you right next to him.
“Are we─ Am I even allowed back there?” Max asked, stumbling slightly as he knocked into a pack of plastic cups.
“Nope,” you answered cheerfully. Just as on cue, one of your colleagues piped up, something about ‘no men on the bar’ and the wooden board of warnings at the front of the bar flashed in Max’s mind. You flipped her off lightheartedly, saying something along the line that, technically, he wasn’t on the bar. Just behind it.
From under the counter, you took out a bottle of something probably lethal and a metal shaker. “Alright, Verstappen. Time to earn your keep ─ didn’t think those drinks were for free, were you?” So that’s what it was all about. “You’re gonna help me make a round of Flaming Coyotes.”
“No way in hell that’s a real drink,” Max frowned.
“Unfortunately yes,” you said, cracking ice into a tin. “And you’re gonna light it.”
Your fingers wrapped around his hand, and Max’s heart stuttered at how your whole palm could wrap around one of his fingers. You guided it to the matchbox you set on the bar. “Relax, I’m not gonna let you burn your eyebrows off
 unless you’re chicken?” You gasped, mocking.
“You really want me to set something on fire? With no
 prior experience?”
“Only a little.”
You’re insane, he thought. You’re insane and he was never going to leave this bar. But Max was not sure he wanted to leave as badly as he did earlier, that’s why he lit the match.
The crowd erupted when the flame caught on the shot glasses. In front of him, Pierre, Daniel, and Charles cheered and whooped as loudly as he could, and somehow Max forgot all about them in these 20 minutes. He looked up, breathless, adrenaline buzzing through his veins like engine oil. You were watching him carefully, looking like you’d just found something very interesting in me. “Look at you,” you said, tone playful. “Didn’t think you had it in you.”
And Max smiled ─ actually smiled, for the first time since this night started. Wide, boyish, and wrecked by it all, and fucking hell did he look good, you allowed yourself to think. His chest swelled with something as you smiled back. And maybe it was the fire, maybe it was the cheers. Or maybe it was you.
The following hours were spent in a blur.
Not the kind of blur Max was used to ─ it wasn’t the sharp edges of a race weekend or the post-win daze of podiums and press conferences. This was so much more different. Warm, messy in a way that curled around his senses and dimmed the seconds together until the clock disappeared.
Shots kept appearing in his hand like magic, and he went from behind to the front of the bar as he pleased ─ most of the bartenders called him an ‘Honorable Coyote’, which shouldn’t have been as funny as it was at the time. The jukebox never stopped switching music, keeping him on his toes. Lando and Pierre had stolen a mic at some point, or maybe you gave it to them for the hell of it, and slurred She’s Country by Jason Aldean so off-key some of the girls threatened to cut them off, splashing them with ice-cold water. Daniel had tried to climb on the bar twice, failing miserably because rules were rules, Charles was attempting to dance with a girl in a cowboy hat three sizes to big for her head, and Carlos was desperately explaining race strategies to a group of drunken Texan who clearly didn’t know what Formula One was.
And then there was you.
Always moving. Always glowing, whether it be from the sheen of your efforts or the loud, obnoxious ambiance that sublimed your features. You’d disappear back into the rhythm of the bar and the beat of the dance, your natural habitat, flinging bottles in the air, laughing as someone tried to kiss your hand and you sent them waltzing away, yelling over the crowd without care. And now Max was convinced people there didn’t simply think they were in love with you. They undoubtedly were ─ six steps in and all that. And he would have been bothered in any other circumstances.
But whenever Max looked up, he caught you looking at him. Every time, you smiled like you knew exactly what you were doing.
Max didn’t know how much time had passed by that point, only that his throat was dry, his cheeks flushed bright red and hurting from how much he laughed, the back of his neck scorching from something stronger than just alcohol. Somewhere along the way, the night had stopped being about celebrating a win and started being about you.
Maybe that’s how he got roped in a messy attempt at a line dance.
He tried to resist at first. Truly. Max still stood by what he said at the beginning of the night: he was a driver, not a dancer. But when you shouted to ask if everyone wanted to see an F1 World Champion do ‘a little two steps’ and everyone cheered, including his friends and colleagues, the traitors, he couldn’t bring himself to say no. Not when you stood so close to him.
You’re Easy On The Eyes by Terri Clark twanged through the jukebox, loud enough to rattle the shelves and the floorboards, while Max tried to follow your explanations. His hands were on his hips, knees knocking together as he mimicked you except he was two steps behind and overthinking it. You were outwardly mocking him by now. “Your coordination’s better in a car, huh?” You teased.
Max huffed. “You call this coordination?”
“Aw, don’t pout, baby. You’re trying.” He rolled his eyes and you stuck your tongue at him. Daniel was somewhere in the back, filming, but Max had tuned the world out. 
Somehow, in the whirl of bodies, he caught you again, his hands instinctively flying to your waist to steady himself so he wouldn’t faceplant ─ that would be the highlight of his night. Before he could process it, and you always a step ahead of him, you grabbed the cowboy hat off his head and in one slick movement, settled it on yours with a wink. The crowd roared in approval. Someone let out a sharp whistle. Max wasn’t fluent enough in Southern to know what that meant, but the half-lidded look you gave him translated across every barrier.
Game on.
You roped him into much more after that. Max followed blindly, always rising to the challenge, stuck in the daze of you. In the decadence of Coyote Ugly. In the secrecy of the nighttime, where everything felt allowed and nothing had to make sense in the morning.
By the time he was able to breathe, he’d long dismissed the idea to try and find out where his friends had scattered to. The only thing he could feel was the warmth of your hand wrapped around his wrist, tugging him past the old, swinging saloon-style door and out in the thick, velvet air of the Texan night.
The back of the bar was quieter. The hum of crickets, the soft hum of the neon signs bleeding through ancient wooden slats, and the echo of music and laughter still pulsing behind closed doors. Cardboard boxes were lying around, swallowed by the wild, uncut grass. The sky was wide and open above him, seemingly endless, stars barely cutting through the heat haze but present nonetheless. Nobody was there apart from the two of you.
Back against the structure of the bar, Max quietly watched as you lit a cigarette next to him. It didn’t surprise him in the slightest. Wordlessly, you offered him your open back with a raised eyebrow.
“I don’t smoke.” He waved it off.
You shrugged, blowing a grey cloud out to the night. He didn’t mind it ─ driving every day of your life, you get used to the smell. “I don’t really like smoking either. It just gives my hands something to do.”
Max chuckled. That didn’t surprise him either, he already figured out life moved with you and not the contrary. 
It seemed like you didn’t appreciate it when conversations stilled because you were quick to speak up again. “Didn’t think I’d see the day a world champion let a girl make a fool outta him in public,” you said, leaning against the wall. Your shoulder brushed his. The number of times you touched him tonight was too numerous to count, but this one felt different. Innocent.
Max threw a smile at you, eyes darting to his feet for a second, still a little glassy. “I’m not the type to mind.”
And that, for some reason, made you look at him. Actually look at him. The type of look stripping away the chaos, the teasing, the fire-breathing version of yourself you wore so proudly behind the bar. You looked at him and Max was faced with the fact that you were just ─ you. Still half-wild, still sharp, but a little less guarded under the moonlight.
He liked it. A lot.
“D’you always enjoy losing control that much, then?” You asked with a small smile.
Max’s lips parted to answer─ pausing.
He thought about it. How rare this was, to be in a place he didn’t understand perfectly, being in Formula One for 10 years, you get used to the pattern of events, and you know what to target when things don’t go your way to make them bend to your will. Right now, he was tangled in things whose sense escaped him, and did not want to run from it.
His voice was quieter when he finally answered. “Only tonight.”
You took that in with a nod and brought the cigarette back to your lips.
“I’m glad you came tonight, then.”
That was it. No confessions, no fireworks, but Max felt his chest tighten just the same. You were just two people, sharing the silence, letting the sticky Texas air settle into your skins, wondering what the hell would happen when tonight fades. He wasn’t ready to find out the answer yet.
So, Max asked, “What led you to this?”
“To what? Coyote Ugly?” You raised an eyebrow, blowing out a slow stream of smoke and watching it curl around the humidity.
“Yeah. Why do you do it?”
“That’s two different questions, pretty boy.”
“Guess I want an answer to both.”
You hesitated, not because you didn’t want to answer, but because no one ever asked. Not your friends, not your colleagues, much less your family who was less than understanding about your life choices.
You shifted your weight, eyes flicking toward the parking lot in the distance. “Well, I came in looking for a job, obviously.” Your voice was softer now. There was still a bit of tease around the commas, but not nearly as much. “Needed rent money. Didn’t want a desk.”
Max hummed. “Makes sense.”
You tapped the ash off the cigarette. “And then I stayed ‘cause
 I dunno. You ever walk into a place and, as crazy as it sounds, even if it’s a mess, I mean like pure chaos, and wild and loud you think ─ yeah. This might be the only place I make sense? I get to perform. I get to be myself. Take up space. Alive, not rotting in place like I was scared to. I wasn’t allowed to
 do all that before.”
“I get it.” He nodded.
“Didn’t think you would.”
“I race cars for a living. I get messy.”
It was meant to be a light answer, something thrown back with a crooked smile and a shrug ─ but as the words settled in the small space between you, something shifted.
Max looked out in the dark, the flicker of neon reflecting faintly off the metal of a rusted old pickup nearby. He let himself sink into the silence for a second, and you waited until he was ready to speak up again. And he did, in a whisper, more to himself than to you. “Everything’s always so
 calculated. In racing. It’s controlled and measured, even the mess, you know? It’s still part of the plan, of what’s expected, somewhat.”
You turned toward him slightly, hip still leaning against the wall, cigarette flickering between your fingers.
“You’re serious,” you said. Not accusatory ─ just curious. “Like, really serious.”
He glanced at you. “And you’re not.”
“Oh, I can be. I know when not to be, which just happens to be most of the time. And I like it like that, honestly,” you shrugged. “I don’t want to be stuck in something that’ll bury me before my time, and I couldn’t see myself anywhere else now, not when I get to be unashamed like that.” Your last words were just above a whisper. “Free.”
The term stagnates for a while.
Until Max lets out a soft laugh, barely even there. “I don’t think I’ve ever been allowed to be anything else but serious.”
The words surprised him. Not because he never thought about them, but because he never said them out loud. He didn’t think he meant them. Now, they felt unescapable, slightly suffocating ─ and the way you looked at him, patient, didn’t help in the slightest. He exhaled slowly, rubbing the back of his neck.
“It’s always about being perfect. Image, numbers, control. If I mess up, people lose money. I lose standing. Teams fall apart. Media goes insane. There’s no room to just.. exist? I guess?” His voice dips lower.
Max wasn’t about to say anything more. He sobered up too much to spill his guts further to a little more than a stranger. Yet, the way you looked at him ─ meeting his gaze with something softer than you’d shown him all night ─ and what you’ve told him, you didn’t feel like a stranger at all. You, who wore fire like perfume and laughed like a dare, stripped down to ashes.
You voiced what he was thinking. “So we’re not that different. I mean, we both perform. In our ways.”
He couldn’t figure you out, no matter how much he tried, no matter how much you’ve shown and hidden tonight but God, Max could have spent hours and hours trying to puzzle you back until you’d finally make sense.
Instead, he just dipped his head in agreement, which made you smile gently. You nudged him with your shoulder. “Alright, Verstappen. Guess you’re not just a pretty face, huh?”
Max choked on a laugh, and he couldn’t help himself. “You are, though. And a lot more.”
You rolled your eyes at his sad attempt at flirting, snorting, but the grin spreading your lips lingered for longer than it should have. Max shuffled a bit closer to you ─ subtle enough that it could’ve been the heat dragging him in ─ but not so subtle that he missed the way you shifted too, gravity pulling you both toward something unspoken.
Quiet still, you spoke up again, voice barely above the hum of the night. “It’s nice, though. People like us don’t get a lot of moments like this.” You gestured around, the empty half-alley, half-garden bathed in neon spill, the distant sounds of cricket, the sounds of the music and the people inside like a faraway dream. This. The in-between.
Max’s voice came back low, warm. “Then we should make them count.”
You turned to look at him, slower this time. And Max ─ he didn’t dare move. Just watched.
The way the light caught on your dewy skin. The glint of sweat at your temple. Your pupils blown wide, not just from the dark but from interest, curiosity. That sharp, electric pull that had lived between you all night, was finally quiet enough to be noticed.
Your eyes dropped to his lips, just for a moment. It was so fast that he thought he might have imagined it. His heart twisted anyway.
“And how are you planning on making it count, Max?”
His name, swirling around your tongue for the first time tonight ─ sweet, sharp, honey on a blade. It hit him square in the chest.
Something in his chest stammers, tires hitting gravel at full speed, and all reason is thrown aside after that. He doesn’t even know how it came to it ─ your back flush against the wall, his hands on your waist, your eyes boring into his and your cigarette half-smoked, forgotten on the gravel. He could feel your body heat as if it was his, your breath quickening at the contact. He could feel you and he wondered if you felt him just as intensely.
His eyes traced the curves of your lips and Max wondered what you tasted like. Smoke, citrus, spice. He wanted to memorize the taste, throw it into a drink he could get drunk on every night, threatening his health to grasp the memory of you again and again.
That was until─
“MAX?!” A shout echoed down the parking lot. Slurred, and unmistakably Daniel-sounding.
More followed.
“Mate, where did he fuck off to?”
“We’re leaving in ten, HURRY UP!”
It was muffled by the distance, but he knew you heard it as well. The half-smile on your face betrayed you.
“So, you gonna kiss me, pretty boy?” You asked.
It would’ve happened.
Max would’ve leaned in and would’ve chased the heat grasping his ribs whenever you looked at him. He would have mapped your mouth, the curve of your waist beneath his palms, would’ve swallowed every sound you made as he was starved for it. He would’ve kissed you and let you burn him alive, gladly, but─
The voices grew smaller. Daniel’s laugh, Pierre’s yell, Charles’ confusion. Reality bleeding back in. Max’s jaw tensed. If he waited a minute longer, he’d miss his ride. Miss the world contained in his hotel room that would stop spinning if he missed a minute off the clock.
He simply told the truth. 
“If I start,” Max murmured, “I don’t know if I’d be able to stop.”
That earned him a look. It wasn’t surprised, or angry ─ it was something a lot like expectancy, and in some way, it hurt a lot more.
You stepped forward, hand gently rising to meet his chest. The contact was light but the weight of it hit him like a crash and when you pushed, just a fraction, just enough, it wasn’t playful or teasing. It felt like goodbye dressed like mercy. You took the cowboy hat you stole from him earlier in the night and put it back on his head.
“Then don’t start something you can’t finish,” you whispered.
You gave him one last look ─ one he’d replay for days, conflicting emotions dimmed down to the flicker of a lighter in your eyes ─ and turned toward the door.
And Max felt awfully selfish when he asked the shadow of your figure, “Are you still going to be there next time?”
You didn’t even look back at him, but he saw your shoulders shake in a bittersweet sort of laugh, now out of his reach. “In a year, you mean? When the Grand Prix calls you back to Texas? I don’t wait, Max. My life isn’t drawn for me. I take my chances.”
You disappeared.
Max didn’t follow. He just stood there, the imprint of your touch still warm over his heart, wondering if this night would feel like a dream come morning. If you ever existed ─ or if Coyote Ugly had simply conjured you from the smoke and the music to remind him what wanting felt like.
He hadn’t kissed you, but he would never forget almost doing it.
When he climbed in the back of Daniel’s car, he evaded all the questions, the friendly mockery, the knowing glances, the snickering about the cowboy hat he still held in his hand like it was something breakable. Max just sat there, humming along to the comments Carlos made about the night, fidgeting with the brim and rubbing his thumb along the worn fabric like it might give him answers. Maybe it had caught something of you ─ your perfume, your voice, your laugh, the heat of your skin ─ and would let it slip back to him if he held on it long enough.
But it didn’t.
Later, Max crawled into bed with the weight of the night hanging around his ankles like shackles, dragging the air from his lungs. He didn’t sleep much. He didn’t want to.
He woke up with the sun, far too bright for the early morning, streaming through the blinds he forgot to close. He could feel his brain pulsing behind his eyes, his bloodshot eyes struggling to stay open, the remaining, chalky taste of whiskey sticking to his palate like cement. The evening flashed before him, a fever dream he wished he had the strength to push away ─ the obnoxious music, the sweat, the alcohol, and your smile.
Almost.
Max groaned, sitting up with difficulty on his bed. Every single one of his muscles ached, a sore reminder of the failed attempts at dancing and bartending he made last night ─ some spots hurt more than others, and in some measure, they felt like the shape of your hands.
The cowboy hat he had tossed last night, in the desperate attempt to stop anguishing about the brush of your breath across his lips, laid in front of him, miserable. Max couldn’t help himself and he reached for it out of instinct.
It felt cheaper than it did before, most imperfect underneath the daylight. He’d already memorized the texture and shape of the memento, obsessively tracing it, and yet it didn’t feel sufficient. He supposed it never would, and he’d have to live with this reality.
Max was about to put it back on his nightstand. To swallow down an Ibuprofen, chase it with an ice-cold shower, and carry on with his life like always. Another plane, another race, hopefully another win.
But something made him pause. He turned the hat in his hands again, just like he did a few hours before sleep took him by surprise.
And there it was. Tucked just inside the brim, where the lining met the crown ─ scrawled in smudged black ink he’d bet his life was eyeliner, barely visible unless you were compulsively looking for it─
if you dare.
A little heart, and a phone number scribbled right beside it.
Max blinked, mouth parting just slightly, heart mistaking the rhythm of his breathing for the first few notes of a country song. He read it again, and again until it stopped feeling like a trick of the light and started feeling like a choice.
He left thinking you were supposed to be one moment. One night. A blur of burn and guitar chords ─ but you’d left a door open.
And it was seemingly Max’s turn to take his chance.
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odinsblog · 1 year ago
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“I first started noticing the journalists dying on Instagram. I'm a journalist, I'm Arab, and I've reported on war. A big part of my community is other Arab journalists who do the same thing.
And when someone dies, news travels fast. Recently, I pulled up the list that the Committee to Protect Journalists has been keeping and looked at it for the first time. There are 95 journalists and media workers on it as of today.
Almost everyone on it is Palestinian. Scrolling through, I started to get angry. These were the people carrying the burden of documenting this whole war.
Israel is not allowing foreign journalists into Gaza, except on rare occasions with military escorts. These people's names are being buried in a giant list that keeps growing. What I want to do is lift some of them off the list for a moment and give you a glimpse of who they were and the work they made.
I'll start with Sadi Mansour. Sadi was the director of Al-Quds News Network, and he posted a 22-second video on November 18. That was a report from the war, but it also gave me a picture into his marriage.
Sadi's wearing his press vest and looks exhausted. He's explaining that cell service and the Internet keep getting cut off, and it's often impossible to text or call anyone, including his wife. So they've resorted to using handwritten letters to communicate while he's out reporting, sending them back and forth with neighbors or colleagues.
He ends the video with a picture of one of these letters from his wife. In it, she writes,
‘Me and the kids stayed up waiting for you until the morning, and you didn't come home. We were really sad.
I kept telling the kids, Look, he's coming. But you didn't show up. May God forgive you.
Come home tomorrow and eat with us. Do you want me to make you kebab or maybe kapse? Bring your friends with you, it's okay.
And give Azeez the battery to charge. What do you think about me sending you handwritten letters with messenger pigeons from now on? Ha ha ha.
I'm just kidding. I want to curse at you, but we're living in a war. Too bad.
Okay, I love you. Bye.’
A few hours after he shared that letter, Sadie and his co-worker Hassouna Saleem were at Sadie's home, when they were killed by an Israeli air strike that hit his house.
His wife and kids, who weren't there, survived.
Gaza is tiny, and the journalist community is really close. Reading the list, you can see all the connections between people. Like with Brahim Lafi.
Brahim was a photojournalist, one of the first journalists to die. He was killed while reporting on October 7. He was just 21, still new to journalism.
On his Instagram, you can see that in his posts just a few years ago, he was still practicing his photography, taking pictures of coffee cups and flowers. Then he started doing beautiful portraits and action shots. You can really feel him starting to become a journalist.
Clicking around on Instagram, I found a tribute post about Brahim from his co-worker Rushdie Sarraj. In this photo, Brahim staring intently at the back of a camera, his face lit up by the light from the viewfinder. He looks so young.
The caption reads, My assistant is gone. Brahim is gone. Rushdie himself was a beloved journalist and filmmaker.
And I know that because he's also on the list. He was killed just two weeks after Brahim. I read the tribute post to him too.
I saw this over and over again. Journalists posting tributes, who were then killed themselves soon after. And a tribute goes up for them.
And then the pattern continues.
Thank you.
Something else I saw over and over on the list, journalists later in the war who had become aware that they could be making their last reports. They'd say it at the beginning of their videos. And those were the hardest to watch, especially when it was true.
One video like that was posted by Ayat Hadduro. Ayat was a freelance journalist and video blogger. Her videos before the war covered a wide range from what I can tell, interviews about women in politics.
She even appeared in a commercial for ketchup-flavored chips. She clearly liked being in front of the camera. Once the war started, Ayat's pivoted to covering bombings and food shortages.
On November 20, she posted a video report from her home. You can hear the airstrikes hitting very close to where she is. It's scary.
‘This is likely my last video. Today, the occupation forces dropped phosphorus bombs on Beit Lahya area and frightening sound bombs. They dropped letters from the sky, ordering everyone to evacuate.
Everyone ran into the streets in the craziest way. No one knows where to go.
But everyone else has evacuated. They don't know where they're going. The situation is so scary.
What's happening is so tough, and may God have mercy on us.’
She was killed later that day.
Targeting journalists, in case you didn't know, is a war crime. So far, the Committee to Protect Journalists has found that three of the journalists on the list were explicitly targeted by the IDF, the Israeli military. Investigations by the Washington Post and Reuters, Human Rights Watch and the United Nations have also raised serious questions in these three cases.
And the Committee to Protect Journalists is investigating 10 other killings. When we reached out to the IDF for comments, they said, quote, the IDF has never, and will never, deliberately target journalists. That's the answer they always give in these situations.
Meanwhile, dozens of seasoned reporters have fled Gaza. Journalists who worked for Al Jazeera, the BBC, the New York Times, the Washington Post, Reuters, Agence France-Presse. So many media offices were demolished in Israeli airstrikes that the Committee to Protect Journalists stopped counting.
It's not just individual lives that have been destroyed. It's an entire infrastructure.
Thank you.
The name on the list that was hardest for me to look at was Issam Abdullah, because I'd crossed paths with him once. Issam was a Lebanese journalist, a video journalist for Reuters for many, many years. He had just won an award for coverage of Ukraine.
I'm Lebanese and still report there sometimes, and I'd worked with Issam a couple of summers ago. He helped me film a sort of random story in Beirut. I was interviewing this entrepreneur who had started a sperm freezing company after an accident where he spilled a tray of hot coffee on his private area, burning himself.
I know, ridiculous. It was a really silly shoot. Right after we said cut and started to rap, Issam started this whole bit about being in his late 30s, reconsidering his own sperm quality and everything he now realized he was doing to hurt it, and no one could stop laughing.
It was a really good day that felt good to remember and to remember him that way. Issam was killed by the IDF on October 13. His death was one of the three that the Committee to Protect Journalists has identified as a targeted killing.
He was fired upon by an Israeli tank while standing in an empty field on the Lebanon-Israel border with a small group of other journalists. Everyone was wearing press vests with cameras out. They were covering the Hezbollah part of this war.
A few other journalists were injured in the attack, which was captured on video. The IDF says they were responding to firing from Hezbollah, not targeting the journalists. But multiple investigations, including by Reuters, the United Nations, Amnesty International and the AFP, found no evidence of any firing from the location of the journalists before the IDF shot at them.
The journalists in the group and video footage confirmed that there was no military activity near them. I had only met Issam once, barely knew him, but it affected me so much when he died. I know that he understood the risks of his job, but somehow it still felt so random and unfair that he would be struck down like that, following the rules, wearing his press vest and helmet, and a pack of reporters on a sunny day in an open field.
I find myself thinking about him all the time. His last Instagram post was commemorating another journalist, this iconic reporter Shereen Abou Aql who had been killed by the IDF. When I first saw that post in October, I thought how ironic because a week later, Isam also was killed by the IDF.
But then, after spending time reading the list, I realized how common this had become. I still haven't finished going through the list and looking up the people on it. I keep finding things that stick with me, like the funny way this one radio host would cut off a caller who was rambling on for too long.
A tweet from reporter Al-Abdallah that quoted Sylvia Plath. It read, What ceremony of wars can patch the havoc? I'm going to keep going down the list, even though this story is over now.
Just for myself. My own way of bearing witness. Which is, in the end, all that these journalists were trying to do.”
—DANA BALLOUT, The 95. Dana sifts through a very long list—the list of journalists killed in the Israel-Hamas war, and comes back with five small fragments of the lives of the people on it. Dana is a Lebanese-American, Emmy-nominated documentary producer.
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dulcet-aurora · 3 months ago
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permanent . damian wayne x reader. ➌ àŁȘ ✿ ❛ when you press me to your heart, i'm in a world apart. ❜
âȘ in which. ❫ what better an idea to immortalize your best friend in time.
➌ àŁȘ ✿ 𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔. pining, pining, pining. did i mention pining? slightly ooc damian but like whatever i just want a yearning man. ➌ àŁȘ ✿ 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒅 𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒕. 1.3k. ➌ àŁȘ ✿ 𝒕𝒂𝒈𝒔. @di-lucss, @ephemerensis, @dollishmehrayan, @aangelinakii, @minorlyatfault. ➌ àŁȘ ✿ 𝒄𝒂𝒓𝒐𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒆'𝒔 𝒄𝒐𝒓𝒏𝒆𝒓. inspired by thinking of you by sister sledge! the writing is an actual excerpt from my diary about a man because if he won't yearn i obviously have to. ignore how shitty this is because it was 10pm and i miss the girl i used to be. enjoy!
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⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀𝒊f i were any other version of myself in this timestream i would say that i am exhausted of being in love. my thoughts are blurred by a fog where each particle of water is one tiny thing creating this sole, large, mystical being that cloud my senses and drive me half to insanity.
but i am a changed man and unlike the child formed of snapped bones and spilled blood that was deemed as useless as water, i have found myself thriving on the galleons of blood pumped daily by my palpitating heart for this girl. she is magic incarnate and i am under her spell. i cannot explain it and it is terrifying and awfully thrilling all at once because this is the first time i have not been able to draw a conclusion or a reasonable answer based on fact nor logic to my feelings. my feelings themselves have always been buried— crushed by burdens and grandfather's teachings that emotion was weakness, but for some reason she has latched them by a hook and drawn them up and claimed them as her own.
in my own way i fear her. she is the very opposite of every lesson i've been taught, the moral behind every beating i took. she took my heart of stone and cracked it in two and found the humanity within me, glowing like the contents of a geode and it shines just for her. i do not know how she managed it. i do not know how i let her manage to do it. i have never been vulnerable and never did i think i would ever be vulnerable and yet i stand here pouring out my feelings in ink like the blood i spilled as a child.
yes, it on paper but i would rather stain the carcass of a tree than the blank canvas which is her and risk leaving the mark of my impurity on something as pristine as her. i cannot bear damaging her because i felt too much.
— d.t.w.
damian sat on the floor at the foot of the piano bench, the tip of his pen hovering limply over the paper. his feelings stared back at him like a mutilated corpse, ugly and disgusting and something he couldn't believe he'd done in a moment of clouded judgement. the sound of the piano echoes through the empty ballroom of wayne manor. the space was empty and rarely used more than twice a month for when bruce held a gala. you sat at the beautiful grand piano, your fingers delicate on the keys as the instrument sang a solemn melody.
you pressed aimless keys as the moment of serenity faded and the melody fizzled out. "do you ever get frustrated with a piece of your art?" you sighed, leaning forward on the bench to peer at the sheet music of your newest piece that you'd scribbled out on a few sheets of loose-leaf paper. the penmanship was horrendous, chicken scratch only a musician could read in between wrinkles and creases from being folded time and time over to fit in your pocket.
damian snapped his journal shut. "exasperation in the creation of beauty is inevitable," he said. "you as a musician should already know this."
"you always make it look so effortless, though," you groaned, supporting your weight with your hands as you leaned back on the bench.
"do i?" he arched a dark eyebrow, his viridian eyes glinting with something between curiosity and amusement.
"yes," you sighed. "you can paint, you can sculpt, you can write the perfect essay. art comes naturally to you."
damian pondered this for a moment. "i come from a long line of individuals who took pride in the destruction in beautiful things," he said. "i suppose i did not want to be like them, when there are so many specks of the heavens in the world around us. i chose to trap them in time then to make them memories."
"you would be a lovely playwright," you declared after a beat. you cleared your throat, "i bethink thou art something of a twenty-first century shakespeare." you reached over the side of the piano bench and gripped the cover of his journal.
damian's heart stopped. he yanked the journal from your grasp so hard you pitched forward and had to steady yourself by gripping the piano. "methinks you jest." he snapped.
"methinks thou hadst a stick up thy ass."
"methinks thou shouldst shut thy trap." damian tilted his head back to look up at you.
you put a hand over your mouth and laughed, and damian's heart jackhammered against his ribs. that laugh, that feeling reminded him why he chose to paint your smile that he saw every time he closed his eyes, why he sculpted your jaw that he dreamed to hold with the tenderness he was never shown, and why he made you a permanent fixture in time with his words.
"play me that piece again," he said, his voice soft, almost reverent.
"you've heard it a thousand times," you complained, wringing your hands. "along with my tears and sobs and fussing."
"i enjoy it," damian said simply, rising from the floor and sitting beside you on the bench. your knees pressed against each other. damian wishes it was your lips.
"well, you have to," you pouted, "you're my best friend."
"i am not obligated to 'liking' anything, i enjoy what is enjoyable and your piece fits the criteria of pleasurable things," he said. "so play it again."
you groaned and before damian could even exhale to protest again you poised your hands over the piano and began to play.
magic flowed from your hands, infusing the keys with some sort of golden ichor with every press of your fingers. it was a piece in f minor, but transitioning to a sweeter major with a signal of a small breath from your lips. it was incomplete, damian could see the question marks replacing notes on the staff on the last page of music but, oh, was it beautiful. if your hands hadn't both been on the keys he would've laced your fingers together.
eventually the melody tapered off again and you sighed in defeat, slumping your elbows against the keys with an exasperated huff. "yeah, that's that," you sighed.
"it is a lovely composition," damian said earnestly.
you smiled faintly. "i had a great inspiration."
he tilted his head. "did you?"
you sighed, your gaze almost dreamy. "the best."
your words stuck with damian all day, even till the dead of night where he lay awake and his brain did its usual run through of the thought of you. he lay in his bed and you were tucked against his side, passed out after hours of trying to figure out the right notes. your sheet music lay on your stomach and your pen was clasped loosely between your fingers. damian sighed.
"foolish girl," he mumbled, brushing hair from your face. you sighed in your sleep and damian softened. he took the sheet music off your abdomen and plucked your pen from your limp hand. he turned around as gently as he could to set your sheet music on his nightside table. as he laid it down on the top he caught a glance of the title and his breath hitched.
damian's theme. a musical memoir to the boy i adore. written in a handwriting that was messy and barely legible and that could only be yours.
he stiffened. "i had a great inspiration. the best." you had said. his heart slammed against his ribs once more and he was sure his bones were painted red from how often that happened. he looked over at you, his sleepy musician, his modern day clara schumann, the reason he chose to create instead of destroy.
damian made art because it was permanent, and it was precious. he'd never felt precious or had anything remotely permanent in his life other than the ghosts from his past that followed him. but now he realized that he truly was treasured. and it wasn't so bad.
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© dulcet-aurora 2025.
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pretty-little-mind33 · 2 years ago
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James Potter x fem!reader
Summary: Finding out that your ex-best friend might have smelt you in the Amortentia feels as surreal as you smelling him.
Genre: Fluff
Warnings: harassment, non-consensual touching (non-sexual), insecurities
JAMES POTTER MASTERLIST
When you hear the door to the classroom swing open, slam into the wall, and as if on cue a chorus of laughs resound around the room, you know it's James and his imbecile friends.
Your lips thin into a tight-lipped smile as you send Marlene an exhausted look.
"Gentlemen," Slughorn drones on as he turns to look at the boys, who comedically trip over themselves to find their spots in the crowd of students, "You're late." 
"Evidently, Professor." Sirius Black quips and nudges his shoulder into James. The latter smirks.
James has somehow found his way next to you. He hasn't done it on purpose but when he turns his head and sees you beside him, his smirk turns into a wide smile.
A smile that never fails to make your knees shake and your heart feel like it could explode.
"Y/n," James whispers. 
"Hi Potter," you roll your eyes, hiding a smile behind faux frustration.
You and James aren't friends. Well, unless you counted the years from ages four to eleven, when you had been inseparable. You'd grown apart these last years and while you'd cried over your lost friendship in first year, you had decided it was for the best to distance yourself from him anyway. 
Having a crush on your best friend is incredibly cliché.
Still, although you weren't friends in the same way as you had been, James has always been kind to you.
He says hello to you when he sees you in the hallway. You have had pleasant conversations in passing, and when his family occasionally has yours over – for old times sake – you both sit on the balcony outside his window and talk as if nothing has changed. 
You shift away from James a little, feeling too close to him, and cross your arms. You turn your attention to Slughorn as he clears his throat and lifts the lid from the pot, "Very well then,"
His sentence is drowned out by the soft, delicate smell that fills the room. You pin-point the scent of broom-polish immediately. Rosemary, vanilla, bergamot and cedar. Your expression falls. Bergamot and cedar. Your head spins and you wonder if James put on too much cologne this morning or if — 
Your mind suddenly goes completely blank when you feel James's breath against your ear, uttering exactly what you had been wondering, but this time about you, "Hey, did you put on more perfume than usual? I can smell it from here," his voice is teasing and you feel just a little fainter than you already had been. 
"Amortentia," Slughorn interrupts, "The most powerful love potion to exist. It smells differently to everyone, depending on what attracts them — or sometimes who attracts them," He continues on, explaining the dangers of the potion, but you aren't listening anymore. 
You look up. James has gone quiet and he's staring at the bubbling liquid, a vacant look in his eyes. Your heart clenches and you turn your head, inclining it down. You must have heard him wrong. James must have been confused.
A pit forms in your stomach when James moves away from you, leaving your side feeling empty. You hear him laugh with Remus and your hand squeezes around your arms. 
You hadn't worn any perfume this morning.
"Hey, Y/n/n," You're pulled from your thoughts when William, another Gryffindor, comes up from behind you and shoves into your shoulder so he's standing next to you.
"I knew I'd smell someone as hot as you in there," He teases, leaning in close. "Just like fucking vanilla," Williams brings his hand into your hair, twirling some strands in his fingers as he presses his nose close to your temple and inhales. 
"Hey," You move your head away, feeling disgusted. William just barks out a laugh and his arm extends to grab yours. Suddenly, you're almost pushed to the side when James stands in front of you and shoves William away. The boy bumps into the cauldron and the Amortentia spills all over the floor. 
"All three of you," Slughorn suddenly booms, his cheeks flushed crimson, "McGonagall. Now."
So you find yourself standing in the middle of James and William in McGonagall's office. The older woman is sitting at her desk, her arms crossed as she stares at you all from behind her small glasses. She looks at William first considering his shirt is drenched in the thick liquid from the Amortentia, "What happened?"
"Potter shoved me," Williams states quickly, glaring at James.
"And I'd do it again," James snarls, crossing his arms. 
McGonagall looks utterly exhausted at their bickering and turns her attention to you. "What about you, Miss Y/l/n, care to explain what happened?"
William sends you a dark look, but when you look at James his expression is soft. "William made me uncomfortable in class and when James saw, he accidentally shoved him into the Amortentia and it spilled all over."
"It wasn't an accident! He did it on purpose!" William argues like a child and James sends him a knowing smirk.
"Oh yeah, the shove was intentional," he grins wolfishly, "Although, I didn't mean to knock the potion over, Minnie," James looks over at McGonagall and this time he looks a little sheepish. McGonagall just stares at him as if he has gone insane and then she looks at you.
"You can leave, Miss Y/l/n," she says and looks back at the boys and hums, "You two may not."
You glance at James a little nervously but he sends you a reassuring smile. So, you ignore William's loud complaining and thank McGonagall as you walk out of her classroom.
* * *
A few hours later, when you're walking out of the Great Hall after dinner, you and your friends run into James again. He's also with his friends, leaning against the wall, and they're laughing obnoxiously loud.
However, when James sees you his smile widens. "Ladies," he says, crossing his arms cheekily.
"Gentlemen," your lips curl into a smirk as you nod at Sirius, Remus, and Peter. James tilts his head at his friends, his expression quirking almost as if he's annoyed that you mentioned them and not him. 
"You feeling okay?" James asks. 
You stare at him, trying to understand exactly what he means.
Does he really care or is he only asking because he's in trouble because of you. Is it mocking?
You start to overthink and James can sense it. So, he moves a little closer to you and you can smell his cologne. It sends heat creeping up your neck.
He asks again. "After what happened with William," he whispers, "when he made you uncomfortable. Are you okay?" James looks genuine and you see his hand hesitating to touch your arm.
You look up at him, staring into his eyes, "O-Oh, yeah. I'm fine. I was just - I didn't think anyone would have smelt me in that potion," you laugh, rambling because that's what you do when you're nervous. You can see James's expression shift into a small smile.
"You'd be surprised," he says, rubbing his nape, "Hey, can we talk in private? I wanted to ask you something?"
Once you say yes, you find yourself in a small, empty, classroom with James. You lean against a desk, hand gripping the edge as you stare at him. "What's up?" you ask. James has never asked you to talk like this.
"My mum is having one of her family dinners for Christmas," James starts, "I wanted to invite you, personally," he adds, as if he's been rehearsing. 
Usually, his mother will invite yours and then by proxy you'll show up. But, this is different. "You want me to come?" your eyebrow raises in confusion, "Personally?"
"Yeah," he sounds unsure, "I mean we're friends, right?"
Is that what we are, you want to ask him but you don't. "I didn't think we were friends anymore," You say honestly and James's expression falls.
He fiddles with his hands nervously but walks closer until he's directly in front of you. You lean away from him and into the desk, chin tilted up to look at him. 
"I'm an idiot," he whispers, looking at you intensely, "I shouldn't have let you slip out of my hands like that. I, well, miss you, a lot."
You listen to him with harsh breaths, trying to understand where this all comes from and why now.
James's hand reaches out and hovers over your cheeks until he holds you and brings you closer to his face. Your eyes round. You're so sure he'll kiss you with how close you are and by the way he's looking at you. You don't have time to make up your mind if you'd want to kiss him or not, because instead, he guides your cheek to his chest and his arms wrap around you. 
He crushes you into a hug. 
Your breath escapes you in a sigh, "James?"
"Y/n," he says your name smoothly and soothes a hand down your hair, "You smell like vanilla and cinnamon. With just a hint of freshly-mowed grass, probably because whenever I see you after a Quidditch match you always have some grass in your hair, right here," James says in a whisper and his finger traces behind your ear.
"Usually from a small tumble," he adds, "You're so clumsy sometimes."  
You pull away only to have him hold you closer. 
"I can't keep pretending I don't think about you," he admits and that sends all emotions crashing over you. You stare at him, lips parted and eyebrows creased, as you try and understand the meaning behind the words. "I smelt you in the Amortentia," James admits.
"You smelt me? You're joking."
James suddenly frowns and he watches as you practically try and sink into the desk behind you. He can take a hint and he moves away. "What? No?" 
You feel your cheeks burn hot with embarrassment. "You aren't joking?"
James's face softens and he smiles. "Of course I'm not – I smelt you and also your perfume which," his smile turns into a smirk, "I can tell you aren't wearing right now." James chuckles happily, his eyes crinkling in the corners and your heart flutters. "Merlin I gave myself away in that classroom, didn't I, love?" 
Your insides become mush at the nickname and you find yourself nodding. 
James looks at you fondly even when he says, "I understand if you don't feel the same. If I'm not the boy you like or a boy you want. I have been a foolish ass for the majority of our time here at school. I've ignored you and worse than that, I let myself forget how lucky I was to have you as my friend and I'm so sorry."
As you hear his words, you can feel tears brim in your eyes. James's fond smile disappears and he starts to panic. "Hey, hey, hey!" his hands cup around your cheeks without even thinking. "I don't want to make you cry, love. Y-you're okay," he promises frantically. 
James is so close. His cologne has invaded your senses until you can't think clearly. All you can do is lean in closer until your nose brushes his. James is surprised but when he looks into your eyes, his body relaxes as he understands what you want. You like to think it's all the years you were friends that makes it so easy for James to understand.
"You want me to kiss you?" he whispers, his voice husky and low.
You feel warm all over as his arm slides behind you and he holds your lower back, waiting for a yes so he can pull you closer. You nod, smiling. You wonder if I have to tell him he's the one you smelled in the potion or if he'll understand by the way you kiss him. 
James's lips press onto yours. He's testing the waters, making sure he's not moving too quickly or too slowly. You let your hand find his hair as you pull him closer. James's hand wraps around you and in the passion, he hoists you up onto the desk behind you and you pull him in.
You kiss him like you've never kissed anyone and it takes your hand on his chest to snap James back into reality. He gently disconnects your lips and leans his forehead on yours.
His eyes are still closed when he says, "Shh, we have all the time in the world. I don't plan on letting you slip away from me again, Y/n," he says it like a promise. Like a prayer. 
Finally, you speak, "James. I missed you," you admit in a whisper. 
James holds you closer. "I missed you more. You don't know how much you mean to me." 
You laugh, feeling how close he is and how badly he doesn't want to drop your hand. "I think I can guess," you say teasingly.
James shakes his head. "My love goes beyond any words I could possibly muster." 
You stare at him with a raised eyebrow. "Since when is James Potter such a hopeless romantic?" 
James grins, his hand sliding down to your thigh as he draws soothing circles on your skin, "He's always been a romantic, darling. He just hasn't had the chance to show you," he whispers and quickly kisses the tip of your nose. 
"Well, he can start now," you smile.
James nuzzles his nose into your shoulder. "So, does this mean that we're friends again?"
You pull away and send him a playful look. "Can this mean we're more than friends now?"
James looks into your eyes and deep in his brown ones, you can see his sincerity, "We'll be whatever you want, love," he says. He hugs you close and your face is buried in his neck. You sniff, your smile widening.
You whisper into his neck, "Bergamot and cedar."
James chuckles, still holding you, "What was that, love?"
"Nothing," you smile, simply content with holding him. 
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luna-azzurra · 3 months ago
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How to Write a Sick Character
╰ First of all — being sick is boring as hell
Nobody tells you that. You think it’s gonna be poetic and tragic and emotionally moving, maybe a few tears on the windowpane and a soft piano soundtrack? Wrong. It’s pacing in a waiting room for two hours to be told to come back next week. It’s reruns of trash TV because your brain fog is so bad you can't even process a podcast. It's Googling "why do my bones hate me" at 3 a.m. and finding nothing helpful, only vibes. So if you're writing a sick character and every scene is Deep and Heavy and Symbolic, I love you but no. Let them be bored. Let them be over it. Let them fall asleep halfway through someone’s big speech.
╰ Second — sickness is basically a toxic relationship with your own body
And wow, the drama is unmatched. One day your character wakes up and thinks, “Maybe today will be normal.” Their body: “Plot twist, bitch.” Now they’re sweating through a hoodie, canceling plans, and pretending they're “just tired” because explaining the truth is somehow more exhausting than the illness itself. Let your character hate their body sometimes. Let them feel betrayed by it. Let them mourn the version of themselves that used to just do things without needing a three-day nap after. But also—let them fight for their body, too. Advocate. Adapt. Try again. Because it’s not all despair. Sometimes it’s really freaking brave just to get out of bed and put on pants.
╰ Third — it’s not cute
Hollywood loves to write illness like it’s an aesthetic. Clean blankets, sad smiles, a gentle cough. Yeah
 no. Sometimes it’s vomit in your hair. It’s medical tape pulling off skin. It’s being too tired to shower but still scrolling through memes like your life depends on it. Give us the gross stuff. The embarrassing stuff. The human stuff.
╰ Fourth — let them be funny
Sick people are hilarious. Mostly because we have to be. You’ve got two choices when your body is a disaster zone: laugh, or fully unravel. So we joke about our failing organs. We flirt with the nurse while on IV fluids. We name our medical devices. We send memes from the ER. Let your character joke. Let them be sharp, sarcastic, absurd. Not because they're “taking it well,” but because that’s their armor. Humor is one of the most honest forms of pain. Use it.
╰ Fifth — sick ≠ broken
Please hear this: your character is not less than. They are not just here to suffer and die and inspire others with their angelic perseverance. They’re a person. Maybe a chaos goblin. Maybe a genius. Maybe a mess. Maybe a lover, a fighter, a giant emotional raccoon with a heating pad. Let them live and have goals. Let them chase things. Let them screw up. Let them be loved and desired and complicated. Their illness is part of them, not all of them.
╰ Lastly — don’t wrap it up too clean
Recovery isn’t linear. Some illnesses don’t “end.” And that’s okay. You don’t need a miracle cure in the third act. Sometimes strength is just learning to exist in a different way. Sometimes it’s re-learning how to hope. Sometimes it’s finding a new rhythm instead of forcing the old one to work. Let your character find peace, not perfection. So yeah—if you’re writing a sick character, you’re doing something important. You’re making space for people whose stories rarely get told with truth and teeth and tenderness. Just promise me you won’t turn them into a symbol. Let them be a person. A funny, scared, strong, exhausted, hopeful person. Like the rest of us.
@katrein05 I Hope This Helps a little... :)
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ticifics · 5 months ago
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What We Never Said
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James Potter x f!reader
Summary: James, your best friend forever, always the one who laughed with you and protected you from everything, now the center of the chaos your heart had become. That night had been sweet and devastating, his touches seeming to etch themselves into your skin. But the morning after had been confusing, full of silences and diverted glances. And now, what were you? You didn’t know anymore.
Warnings: hurt/comfort, muggle au, no use of y/n, pre relationship, pregnancy, a little misunderstanding
A/N: It had been so soooo long since I had done anything with James, so I was inspired after reading endorphin-morphine by my beloved @gingerteafairy <33
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The night was oppressively silent, except for the constant sound of the fine rain tapping against the windows. The apartment was bathed in a cozy dimness, lit only by a faint light in the living room. You had been there for hours, sitting on the sofa with your knees drawn up to your chest, your eyes fixed on an undefined point on the wall. But your mind wasn’t present. It wandered, stuck on the same painful memory—the one from that night.
It was like an open wound you didn’t know how to heal. James, your best friend forever, always the one who laughed with you and protected you from everything, now the center of the chaos your heart had become. That night had been sweet and devastating, his touches seeming to etch themselves into your skin. There was a tenderness there you would never forget, an intensity that overflowed with both desire and affection. But the morning after had been confusing, full of silences and diverted glances. And now, what were you? You didn’t know anymore.
The sound of knocks on the door shattered your thoughts into pieces. They came fast and urgent, a sequence that left no room for doubt. You froze, your heart pounding too hard. Then another series of knocks. More insistent. “Please,” his voice, a bit breathless, came from the other side. “Please, open.”
James.
Your whole body reacted before your mind could think. You went to the door and opened it. There he was—soaked to the bone, his black hair sticking to his forehead, his glasses fogged with rain. He looked both exhausted and agitated, his shoulders slumped under the weight of something he couldn’t say. But what broke you was the look he gave you. As if he were looking for something to confirm what he feared.
“Can I come in?” The question came out almost hesitantly, different from any James you knew.
You just nodded and stepped aside. He entered, and the sound of his wet shoes against the floor echoed through the room. The silence was suffocating, but you could feel his eyes on you, observing every detail. When he closed the door and turned, he was standing in the middle of the room, drenched and restless.
He tried to say something, but his voice faltered on the first attempt. “Are you okay?” he asked, and there was something almost desperate in the words.
You wanted to say yes. You wanted to smile, pretend everything was fine. But there was a weight in your chest that wouldn’t allow lies. “I’m... trying,” you answered in a soft tone. And it was the truest thing you could offer.
James’s gaze didn’t waver. His blue eyes behind the glasses seemed desperate to understand something you weren’t sure how to explain. He studied you with an intensity that made everything even harder—not just as the friend he had always been, but with a new, unsettling attention.
You looked away, unable to bear the weight of it for another second. The tension between you two was suffocating, as if you were both trying to play at normalcy that didn’t belong in this moment. James, the same James who had always been a storm of energy and teasing, was there, silent, almost hesitant.
“I... I could make tea,” you said, your voice fragile. “You should warm up before you catch a cold.”
He nodded slowly, as if he wanted to say something else but respected the space you were desperate to create. “Okay.”
You hesitated for a moment, your eyes landing on his wet shoulders and the way his drenched hair clung to his forehead. “You should change too. There’s a change of clothes here
”
James blinked, surprised. “From the last time I—”
“Yes.” You hurried to turn your back on him, unable to handle the memory of that night, so full of laughter and camaraderie before everything had changed. You went to the kitchen, your hands trembling as you grabbed the kettle.
James didn’t say anything else. He knew where your clothes were and went to get them from the bedroom while you prepared the tea. The water boiled, and you focused all your attention on small movements—the sound of the porcelain, the soft lavender scent in the air. But even then, there was no real escape. The memory of that night kept coming back. The way his fingers seemed to know exactly where to touch, the warmth of his lips against your skin. It had been tender and painfully intimate, and thinking about it now was agonizing enough to steal your breath away.
James came back to the kitchen, wearing a clean t-shirt and sweatpants, his hair still messy but no longer dripping. He seemed more physically at ease, but the tension in his eyes hadn’t lessened in the slightest.
You placed the cups on the table and sat down in front of him. The table seemed too big for the silence between you, as if it were impossible to cross it. He held the cup, but didn’t drink immediately. He just looked at you, as if searching for the right words.
“Are you... eating properly?” The question came out hesitantly, and he seemed to hate his own voice for saying it.
Your stomach churned. “Yes. I’m fine.” But the truth was different. There was a part of you in a constant state of panic, fighting to ignore the little signs your mind created. You forced yourself not to look at your own stomach, as if the simple gesture could betray your thoughts.
“You don’t look well,” James replied, and there was such raw anguish in his voice that you felt an urge to run away.
“James, let’s not do this now.”
“Lily told me.”
His words sliced through the air like a blade, and you froze. Everything around you seemed to dissolve into white noise—the sound of the wind outside, the steam rising from the tea cups. Only those few words echoed in your mind, unbearably loud.
Lily had promised. But of course, this was bigger than any promise. Because she cared about James just as much as she cared about you, and at some point, her concern must have overflowed.
You tried to push the memory away, but it came anyway. The night you went to Lily’s house, your eyes swollen from crying. The way your hands trembled as you told her, through tears and sobs, that you might be pregnant. How you had been caught off guard, the overwhelming fear that took over you.
“Hey.” James’ voice was closer now, gentle and full of urgency. You didn’t even notice when he kneeled in front of you, his hands searching for yours. But you kept your fingers tightly clasped in your lap, stiff. You didn’t trust yourself to touch him.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked, his blue eyes searching yours. There was no anger there—just fear and a deep pain that seemed to mirror yours.
“Because
 because I didn’t know what to do.” Your voice was hoarse, as if each word were a battle. “I still don’t know.”
James lowered his head for a moment, breathing deeply as if gathering all the courage he had. Then, when he looked up at you, there was something in his eyes you couldn’t immediately identify—determination, yes, but also a desperate vulnerability that made him almost unrecognizable.
“Then let me do something,” he said softly.
Before you could answer, he slid his hand into the pocket of his sweatshirt and, with a hesitant gesture, pulled out a small blue velvet box. Your heart stopped for a moment. Because you knew that box. He had mentioned it before—a family heirloom that belonged to his mother. And now, it was there, in his hands, open before you.
Inside, there was a simple, but flawless ring. A delicate, timeless gold band.
“Marry me,” James asked, with an almost painful softness. He was still on his knees, only inches from you, but it felt like there was an abyss between you two.
You couldn’t breathe. The same phrase you had imagined countless times, in so many dreams, in so many different scenarios—and now, finally spoken aloud.
But nothing was as it should have been.
You felt a tearing pain rip through your chest. Because, in your dreams, he asked because he loved you. Because you were best friends who had found each other in the midst of everything. Not like this. Not with an unexpected pregnancy as the backdrop, not with the weight of duty suffocating the moment.
“James... no.” Your voice broke, barely audible.
He blinked, confusion turning his face into something devastated. “What?”
“I can’t,” you replied, not daring to look at him. “I can’t do this.”
“Why?” The word came out laden with pain, almost disbelieving. “If it’s because of the baby, I want to be here. I want—”
“It’s not that.” Your throat tightened so much it felt impossible to continue. “I don’t want you to do this out of obligation.”
James stood still, as though you had taken the ground from under him. He slowly closed the box, but didn’t stand. He stayed kneeling there, staring at you with eyes now filled with pain he couldn’t hide.
“Is that what you think of me?” He murmured, his voice rough.
You stood up, the instinct to flee overtaking you. “Please, James. Let’s just... forget this, okay?”
But before you could take another step, you felt his hands around your arms, gentle but firm enough to prevent your escape. “Forget? You want me to pretend I don’t love you?”
The whole world stopped.
“Don’t say that,” you begged, your voice barely a whisper.
“Why not?” He moved closer, and when you tried to turn your face away, James gently held your chin, forcing you to look at him. “Say you don’t feel anything for me. Look into my eyes and tell me I’m wrong.”
You tried. You really tried. But there was something in his gaze—so much truth, so much love that seemed unbearable—and the words got stuck in your throat.
“Say it, and I’ll leave,” James promised, his fingers gliding gently over your skin, as if he could ease the pain hanging in the air between you two. “But if it’s not true... let me fight for us.”
A tear fell down your cheek, followed by another. You were trembling now, and his touch felt both comforting and unbearable.
James saw the pain in your eyes and, without hesitation, pulled you into his arms. The strength of his embrace was both firm and protective, as though he was trying to hold all the broken parts of you together and prevent them from shattering. And there, with his warmth enveloping every part of your being, you collapsed.
The tears came like a flood, sobs you could no longer contain ripping through your throat. Your face was buried in his chest, your fingers clutching his shirt as if you feared he would disappear if you let go. He didn’t say anything immediately—just held you tighter, his hands gently sliding over your back, his lips pressing against your forehead in a silent kiss.
“I’m sorry,” he murmured against your hair, his voice so full of regret that it made your heart ache even more. “I’m sorry for everything, for not coming after you sooner. For not saying...”
He paused for a moment, his breath uneven as if he were struggling to maintain his composure.
“For not saying that I love you.”
You froze, your sobs quieting, but the weight of his words still hung in the air.
“I’ve always loved you,” James continued, his tone firm despite the tremor in his voice. “From the beginning. And I was an idiot for never making that clear. For hurting you, for not realizing what you were going through. I should’ve been with you all along.”
His hands loosened their grip on his shirt, but you didn’t pull away. You couldn’t. Because every word he spoke seemed to slowly dissolve the fear and pain you had carried over the past days—but it also brought a vulnerability you hadn’t expected.
James leaned back just slightly, enough to look at you. His eyes were full of unshed tears, concern and love clear as day.
“You are everything to me,” he said softly, his fingers tracing the line of your jaw. “And no matter what happens, I want to be by your side. In every moment, through every difficulty. Even if there wasn’t a baby. I just want... you.”
More tears filled your eyes, but now, they were different. They were tears of relief. Of hope. You couldn’t speak, but James seemed to understand anyway. He tilted his forehead to gently touch yours, his eyes closed as his noses brushed in an intimate, tender gesture.
“Let me stay,” he whispered. “Let me take care of you. Let me love you the way I should’ve all along.”
For a long moment, you just stood there, absorbing every word, every touch, every beat of his heart against yours. And then, slowly, you nodded.
“Yes.” Your voice came out weak, but full of an emotion that felt almost impossible to contain. “Yes, James.”
The smile that formed on his lips was a mixture of relief and pure love, and before you could say anything more, James pulled you into a soft kiss. It wasn’t desperate or impulsive—it was a kiss full of promises, of everything he hadn’t been able to say before.
And when his lips left yours, he hugged you again, tighter than before. As if he never intended to let go.
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urprettylildoe · 7 months ago
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Drabble about pregnancy life with Jeremy?
Or like tidbits about life with children with him?
Girl I luv how you write Jeremy. Call me mental, but there’s just something that tickles my brain just right when a man is a ✹benevolent sexist piece of shit✹ Get me a man who enjoys taking care of me, and thanks me for staying inside the house đŸ˜©
I KNOW RIGHT!!! It's so satisfying, like when they're so condescending about it too and forcing you to the old-fashioned lifestyle. (Let's be mental together).
đ’Żđ’œâ„Ż đ“Œđ’¶đ“Ž đ“‰đ’œđ’Ÿđ“ƒđ“°đ“ˆ 𝓌ℯ𝓃𝓉
Yandere!farmer x pregnant!reader
â™ĄïžŽ
Now that Jeremy had you in his grasp, his life was nearly complete.
Nearly.
He longed for mini-sized, chubby versions of you and him, running around the house. Imagining the sight of your swollen belly was enough to make him buzzing with excitement. Not to mention there isn't a problem good old pregnancy can't fix, like accustoming to your new life.
Perhaps then you'd accept the new reality now that you'd be chasing babies in diapers instead of silly, dangeroue dreams?
The only catch is — it'd be a funny little surprise. You didn't need to waste your sweet voice whining about how you really didn't want this.
Poor darling. Who convinced you that you knew your own good?
So, Jeremy got to work.
♡
Dim light illuminated the room as Jeremy flickered on the light as soon as your pitter-patter steps pounded against the wooden floor.
"Baby?" He drawled, rubbing his eyes before they went wide at the sound of gagging from the bathroom.
A wide, sinister grew on his lips as he walked over and reached you, tutting with faux concern as he held back your hair and rubbed your back.
Sniffling, you peered up at those puppy hazel eyes that could do no wrong. He cooed, rubbing a stray tear before hauling you up from under your arms and planting you onto the counter.
Large hands placed themselves onto your thighs, rubbing up and down soothingly. "Oh, my darlin'. You've been so tired these days from all sickness."
"Don't know why," you murmured, eyes droopy from exhaustion and making his heart flutter even more.
Oh, how he played the perfect role of a worried man for his girl and how she suddenly got thrown under the weather. It was so sudden and unexpected.
Jeremy purred contently, "this has been going on for so long. It can't just be a little cold, right?" His fingers reached up to rub her cheeks, "...right?"
Slowly nodding, you watched him rummage through the cabinet before pulling out a box. A...pregnancy test?
Amidst your daze, he explained that it was just to make sure eveeything's okay and that nothing was wrong. You were too dizzy and sleepy to question why such an object was conveniently there at the right time. You just slurred, "But i'm not pregnant."
He concurred patronisingly, his tone contradicting, "Of course you aren't."
Soon, he left to give you some privacy or maybe just time to deal with the sickening truth that was about to crash down on you.
A sigh escapes your lips. Maybe after this, you would find nothing and go back to bed to sleep till he woke you up for the dreaded chores. Lazily, you lifted up the little bar and not expecting much.
Two lines.
Your eyes went wide, shaking off any sign of previous drowsiness. Shaky, clammy fingers clenched around the object.
Two lines.
From where Jeremy leaned against the door outside, he could only hear silence.
That was before the big scream came.
In an instant, he was inside the bathroom, kneeling from where you sat on the floor, cupping your teary cheeks and shushing you.
Uncontrollable wails left your quivering lips. It wasn't on your checklist to move from the lively capital to a farm, let alone have a baby.
After all, you were a party animal back there. Every day, you were out and about, living life to the fullest so recklessly like any girl who was living in her prime.
And now you were pregnant? Things weren't on your side.
"I don't understand! I'm," hic "always careful and taking the pill."
Silly little you didn't need to know those weren't what you thought they were.
He shushed softly, "Oh, baby, it was bound to happen anyway. Besides, ya want this, I want this. Our baby will be beautiful."
"No, I don't want this!" You whined, cheeks and lips red with tears.
"Of course you do, honey," he smiled, kissing your forehead as if what you voiced was completely inaccurate. "Ya wanna be a mommy to our kid, and you will be so, so great." Your head nestler against his chest, you were still blubbering nonsense but it was blocked out for now.
♡
Like a switch, everything changed.
Throughout the whole pregnancy, you weren't allowed to lift a finger. Craving something unusual? Jeremy's already in the kitchen after abandoning the poor labour he was doing outside.
Want to take a walk? Oh, love, why do that when your strong man could do carry you like a princess.
Want to design the nursery? It's all yours. He's practically basking in the scent of all those baby products.
Despite your protests, he didn't back down from the matter of your diet. You needed all the nutrients you could get, even if you did complain that you would get chubby. You're so adorable — he loves you in all forms, but some food would really help you and the baby.
His eyes glowed with happiness when he ogled at your swollen bump from under your sundress. A sign of your love, your bond together. Motherhood was a good look on you.
Running his hands up your body, he pressed insistent kisses all over your skin, feeling the fluttering kicks.
Jeremy held up your stomach between his feather-light touches, almost as if it were a jewel, which it was.
"Daddy loves you and mommy so much," he spoke to his child, "there isn't anything I won't do for ya both. Just don't move around too much, precious. Mama is tired and she's gotta sleep."
You assumed you had the upper hand, but when you'd cry because of your stupid hormones, he would just make you feel so safe and tingly, msking you bury your face in his warmth.
Darlin', you ain't getting your way outta this anytime soon.
♡
After birthing a precious and healthy little girl, Jer is quite literally over the moon.
The sight of you fussing over your daughter makes him smirk triumphantly, he won the little battle of getting you to adapt to your new life.
"I'm so proud of ya, my lovely."
He kisses your forehead, gazing into your tired eyes post-labour.
"You've given me such a great gift. I love you baby."
The babygirl would have curls just like her papa and big eyes full of curiosity for the surroundings that's so similar to yours. He fell in love all over again.
He's spoil her rotten for the rest of her life and get her anyrhing she wanted with a bat of an eye, all while praising you and cuddling with you loads. After all, he obviously wouldn't forget about his favourite.
But don't you worry.
Another will be on the way soon with the months passing.
Did he mention he wanted, no, needed a big family? It's his dream. Even if you pouted a little at the thought, it's no biggie. He didn't take your advice previously and now's he's got a lovely bundle of joy nestling in her crib. Might take your word for it. He won't.
A son with messy hair and the cutest smile wouldn't hurt anyone, right?
Oh, just the sight of you cooking in the kitchen, eager little toddlers babbling at your feet while Jeremy hugged and doted on you was so right. So perfect. So his. So away from everything filthy.
The farm was never so vibrant as he played with his children.
Even if you were caught longing at reminders of your old life, he'd remind you that "being away from all these useless things was best for your happy little family."
Long forgotten were the days of partying. After all, a girl like you was so lost till he led you.
It all did work out in the end, with you being his domestic spouse and the mother of his children.
Just like how it was supposed to be.
♡
-I had so much fun playing around with the concept. It was so cuteeeee.
𝒮℮𝓊𝓇𝓈 𝓉𝓇𝓊𝓁𝓎
@yourprettylildoe
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