#tourette's reader
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
transformers-spike · 2 months ago
Note
Okay- so this has been on my mind for weeks
I have Tourette’s syndrome, and it hit me- how would Cybertronians react to it?
Like all the beeps, squeaks, parroting (repeating words or swears),twitches (like jerking my head to the side and limbs flicking out), and sometimes full body movements (lookin like an exorcist victim over here lol)
You don’t have to write this if ya don’t want to , honestly not picket about what iteration you choose, I just think this idea is funny and it’s hard for me to write since Tourette’s normal for me lol
I don't feel like I have the proper knowledge for a deep-dive (honestly, I highly recommend that you give your own perspective on the matter) - but I will say this: The Autobots (being used to humans) are a bit startled at first, but once they figure out it's normal for you, they're quite relieved and just happy you're doing alright The Decepticons are like "yep this is how humans are" and assume everyone on planet Earth has it
34 notes · View notes
xreaderdumpster · 2 months ago
Note
Heya! Always a lover of Gambit—Could you do Gambit with a reader with Tourette’s who has vocal/physical tics? ❤️
Hey, thank you for your patience! Apologies for the delay, I was struggling with what to say that hasn’t really been said before when it comes to Gambit x reader head-canons! And I had to look up a lot of info about Tourette’s. Apologies for any inaccurate portrayals and the length but hope you’ll enjoy it anyway!
Tumblr media
I feel if the tics are verbal, he’d probably respond to them, especially if you’re a bit more self-conscious about them. So if you make a random animal noise due to the tics, Gambit would just make a noise back. Probably a cat noise!
Will love you no matter the kind of verbal or physical tic. While others may feel a bit confused, especially by physical tics, he is just there taking it in his stride.
If the tics get worse due to stress, Gambit is right there, helping you to keep calm and stay grounded. Probably holding your hand, thumb gently rubbing circles on your skin.
Gambit understands it can be tiring to control them, especially if you’re needing to concentrate on controlling them during X-Men meetings or while teaching. So he’d be a safe place for you to just let it out. Especially in your shared room.
52 notes · View notes
lovedwings · 4 months ago
Text
2012!Raph x tourettic reader because I have Tourette’s let me have this.
This is based on my experience. x-x
tw: ableism
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
• When Raph first met you, he didn’t really understand why you acted so strangely or said such weird things. He didn’t ask but he was annoyed and made comments about it.
• A tic made you tell him to ‘fuck off’ and that really sent him off, thats when you confessed you had Tourette’s.
• Raph gets mad at himself for anytime he ever was annoyed or angry because of your tics and makes sure to properly apologize.
• He’s not a expert or anything, but he takes the time to understand the basics of what’s happening.
• Will attack anyone who gets mad at you for it.
• Whenever you have tic attacks he makes sure that you’re ok afterwards and will get you anything you need.
• Raph is very understanding if you experience rage attacks. He has a very similar problem and you guys can connect a-lot.
• He also understands the feeling of being seen as ‘weird’ and ‘different’. While he doesn’t care as much as Donnie, it still affects him. You and him both find comfort in the fact the other is in a similar situation.
• Listens to you rant about anything, especially if you had a bad tic day. If you happen to mention someone made fun of you he’d threaten to beat their ass.
57 notes · View notes
naturesapphic · 8 months ago
Note
Heyyyyy loveeee can u please write a fanfic abt reader having Tourette and Billie dealing with it!!
(Little reader or big reader idm)
Tumblr media
Headcannon: Fem!reader having Tourette’s & how Billie helps
Billie eilish x tourettes!fem!reader
Warnings: nothing I think?
- we all know that Billie has Tourette’s
- so when she found out her girlfriend had them as well she felt seen
- of course she knows people who has tourettes but this was something more. You were her person and you have something she does as well
- you and Billie’s are kinda similar but sometimes you’ll have days where it’s really bad
- your head will jerk, you move your muscles in different places of your body, you’ll repeat stuff over and over, etc
- the two of you when y’all have a tic attack is always there for one another
- when you have a major gif attack billie helps you in any way she can
- she’ll help distract you by asking you about different things, give you a massage, or turn on your favorite show/movie
- she’ll also get some essential oils to help the both of you as well
- you also learned that some foods help too
- overall billie is very understanding and mindful as she also has it and because she is just a great human in general
A/n: I was trying to make this longer and I’ve done some research on it but I’m scared I’m gonna accidentally say something wrong so if I did please let me know :) I hope everyone still enjoyed it and remember to stay hydrated and to rest! I love y’all! :)
76 notes · View notes
forggywrites · 2 years ago
Text
Hobart Brown X GN reader with tics
Hobart “Hobie” Brown x GN reader with Tourette’s/tic disorder headcannons
This is a very self indulgent post because I love Hobie and have Tourette’s syndrome.
CW: talk about tics, ableism, idk what else.
Literally doesn't care
Man probably doesn’t notice either
If he does notice your tics and they’re hurting you he will be concerned.
“Hey love, what's goin on wit ya?” 
When you explain he just shrugs 
“All right, that's cool.” (he means this in a ‘glad you told me, but it doesn’t matter to me’ kinda way)
King is so supportive of you tho
Won’t acknowledge your tics most of the time
(I’d much rather my tics be ignored)
If you tic something funny (and you’re okay with it) he will laugh or giggle a little.
If someone gives you shit for your tics, he WILL defend you (if you want)
He knows you can handle yourself but he also knows you get tired of explaining it to others.
If someone is being REALLY shitty, don’t be surprised if he takes them out back and teaches them a lesson about minding their business.
If you’re having a bad tic day he will take care of you
Need something to hold while your motor tics are making you hurt yourself? He will bring you a pillow or even wrap himself in your arms to help soften the blow.
Won’t make you stop ticcing but will do anything to help them subside
Need meds? He will bring them to you
Need someone to calm/comfort you during a tic attack? He will be there with a comfort show/movie, snacks, and comfy items.
You need music to calm your tics? He already has his guitar out and is strumming your favorite song(s)
Being a punk doesn’t mean he's disrespectful to everyone, just the government and capitalism
He cares for you a lot, your tics don’t change how he feels.
If you are another spiderperson he gains a lot of respect for you.
He knows how hard this job can be, so seeing you do the job just as well makes him think you’re all the more badass.
But he doesn’t baby you, he knows he’d hate it if someone did that to him, so he treats you just the same.
Still offers to help you (in his own way) if he notices you struggling.
If you’re getting shit from other spiders, he will immediately go off about how spider people don’t discriminate.
He’s there for you no matter what.
283 notes · View notes
cass1opi4 · 7 months ago
Note
Hi! I've never seen a reader with Tourette's, do you think you could write a spiderman|peter Parker x m! Reader where they're on a mission and the reader's tics give away their location? That would be awesome <3
Tumblr media
double trouble | peter parker
a peter parker x reader
he/him pronouns
˚₊‧꒰ა . ——— ˗ˏˋ ✮ ˎˊ˗ ——— ˖ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚
for the first time in what felt like his whole life, y/n had finally felt like a real person. his whole life, he’d been spoken to with pity - or bullied and provoked. no middle ground. either people would purposely trigger his tics, finding humour in the condition that had come upon him at seven, or tiptoed around him, walked on eggshells after knowing about his tourettes.
the boy sat beside him had never, not once, dared to do either. partially because he somehow had yet to clock onto the repetitive behaviours, yet also partially because it was not who he was as a person to judge someone because of such a thing.
he talked to y/n like he was normal. because he was in fact almost completely normal, bar the ability to literally move things with his mind. “we can talk about anything, right?” he spoke, unsure about whether or not he should bring up his thoughts.
“of course.” peter nodded, turning his head away from the sunset and toward his friend. “whats going on in the head of yours?”
“i..” he sighed “i feel like my entire life - everybody else has been in on some massive inside joke that only i’m not apart of.” it didn’t make sense, yet at the same time it made perfect sense. “it feels as if they all know something i don’t, and because of that everybody finds a way to point out my cluelessness.”
peter took the words in for a second, before agreeing “i feel that, i feel crazy sometimes.” y/n ushered him to continue “somehow people always find something in me they don’t like, which is messed up because i try my best to do everything right - but it feels so easy to fail.”
“thats why your dad left!” the boy instantly regretted the statement, following it up with a rushed apology, being interrupted by his friend.
“thats why yo momma love me more.” he shrugged simply, smug smile on his face, a gasp left y/n’s mouth.
“my momma dead.” he frowned, peters face dropped, fear filling his face “she isnt! i saw her this morning!”
“thank fuck.” he sighed “do you remember when i first found out about your tics? that was funny.”
y/n laughed “i do.. you were so freaked out.”
the two were hidden behind a wall, listening in on a conversation - well. one of them was. whilst peter was hyper-focused on the talking going on right next to them, y/n was in his own head about everything, focusing so hard on not blurting out anything that could ruin the mission. though, his tics were like coughs - the more you focused on not coughing, the more likely you were to grow your need to do so.
his heart was beating so hard he could hear it in his head, and unfortunately, this distracted his thoughts. “penis parker!” he belted out, eyes widening after he did so. “fuck.” he sighed, being shot at. he floated a desk, throwing it at the group of bad guys before gripping onto peter as the boy webbed out of there.
“what the fuck?!” he yelled once they got to safety, dragging his hands across his face as he ripped of his mask “how did you even find that out? how-“
“you’re peter?!” y/n gasped, mouth agape. now peter was even more lost. if he’d just outed himself for no reason, why did the other boy shout out such a condescending statement? “i- er..”
“why would you do that?” peter looked hurt, watching y/n pull off his gas-mask and frown. “y/n? what?!”
“i have tourettes.. i- i like, say things that are out of control. sometimes my brain and my body don’t communicate that great, i dont want to do or say these things, but i just do? i’m really sorry.”
“why are you sorry about that? if you can’t control it you shouldn’t have to apologise about it.” peter spoke “im sorry for freaking out, i honestly had no idea - kinda thought you were just being mean..”
“a lot of people assume so.”
the sky was now dark, void of stars thanks to the light pollution in new york, but the scene was still strangely beautiful. the new found silence between the two was nice, not an uncomfortable one, just two friends reminiscing on one of their first missions together.
peter hesitated to break the silence, not sure if his next statement would mean enough to ruin such a nice moment between them.
“can i say something weird?” he asked, watching his best friend nod, yet let out a rather contradicting ‘nuh-uh.’ “i.. getting to know you this past year or so has been what i’d consider the best part of my life. you’re so good.. in everything you do, you’re so good. i don’t think ive ever met a person who balances kind, handsome and funny as well as you do. i just.. i dont know. i-“
“are you confessing to me right now, parker?” y/n grinned, praying his assumption was correct, if he was wrong he’d deem it the most embarrassing interaction known to man.
peter bit his lip, nodding. “yeah, i am. i’m sorry.” his eyes shifted from the sky, locking eyes with, what he considered to be, an even more breath-taking sight. “you’re just so.. you. and i like that. in a world of people all trying to be the same you get to be you.”
“i’m so glad i have you in my life.” y/n thought aloud, moving his hand slightly to touch with peter’s “penis parker! you treat me like a person. and you’re so fucking unreal, you look hot doing everything- which is weird, because most people have at least one thing they look disgusting doing. but, god, even the way you eat pizza knocks me the fuck out.”
peter just smiled to himself, leaning his head on y/n’s shoulder, earning an arm wrapped around his shoulder, and a small kiss on the head.
for the first time in what felt like his whole life, y/n had finally felt like more than a person. he felt loved.
˚₊‧꒰ა . ——— ˗ˏˋ ✮ ˎˊ˗ ——— ˖ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚
HI SKIBIDISSSS, im so sorry this is rushed i really want to go play royale high bc im brainrotted beyond belief unfortunately. im also just so out of writing motivation that writing feels like a choreeee. im ALSO sorry if this has inaccuracies! i have a friend with tourettes and got their help with a few traits in this. though, in my friends words their tourettes “isnt severe and mainly vocal.” so base it on that. thankyou for reading!!! sorry its short.
21 notes · View notes
acexsmhking · 1 month ago
Text
Okay so just wanna ask, now I know I could just look things up on Google/Youtube. However I really wanted to try finding people with Tourettes here. My main thing is I just want to speak with people that actually have Tourettes instead of possibly be faked on YouTube/Tiktok which can happen. I have a brief knowledge on it, but I feel ready to really tackle it for Toby fics. I mostly wanted to ease myself into it as to NOT potentially do something wrong. But I also really want to connect to the community since I’ve been able to connect with the trans community so well for fics too!
Please feel free to DM me or possibly send links to genuine creators who can explain/example!🖤
15 notes · View notes
harveybwabbit92 · 4 months ago
Text
(Belial is trying to feed baby Isla some mashed sweet potato when he he hears a Loud crash)
Belial, looks up from feeding Isla: What the hell was that?!
Riku, from somewhere in the house: Eugh... Nothing, your son just fell down the stairs is all..
Belial: Well quit it!
9 notes · View notes
jewbeloved · 2 years ago
Note
can u do a craig kyle or cartman with a partner that has tourettes🙏🙏🙏
Craig with a s/o who has tourettes🌟🌟
Warnings: None
Gender: Neutral
Tumblr media
💙 Craig Tucker 🌟
Tumblr media
This kid, literally doesn't mind it.
You can twitch, yell out random noises or stuff uncontrollably and Craig wouldn't mind. He has experience with dealing with Tweek everytime he twitches.
I personally think Craig is autistic himself so he knows what it feels like to have a disability. What can I say? Craig is a great guy to be with!
He'll listen to music with you, play with stripe, draw, anything! He'll be glad to cope with you to calm down your tourettes if you're feeling stressed about them or uncomfortable.
Cue him being silly by shoving food into your mouth after you twitched. :3❤️
Will gladly take you away from large places full of people if you start feeling awkward or anxious. He will even have a sleepover with you If you ever get lonely!
Vocal tics? He'll boop you on the nose with a tiny smile after you finished ticing.
Aaaaaaa I can't Craig as anything else but wholesome towards you. (Even though he can be a slight troublemaking kid by flipping people off)💙💙💙💛💛💛
Tumblr media
I'm on a writers block......I can't seem to be motivated enough..
91 notes · View notes
king-o-vermin · 1 year ago
Text
we need more x readers wifha reader whi has tourettes (totally not bc i have tourettes whaaaaat)
23 notes · View notes
writing-tics · 8 months ago
Text
rules and regulations
(sound scary but they really aren't)
if you want to know who i am and why do i want to do this check this post [link]
ASKS
i will not answer if i feel like your question is rude, or you are fake-claimy.
I will avoid answering asks about Tourettes Syndrome, as i do not have it
as simple as that. I *want* to receive asks and make writing characters who are like me easier for you!
i want to consult on your character ideas/character designs(?)/story arc ideas, etc
i want to talk about my daily life with a mild form of tic disorder
my struggle with accepting them
how i use accommodations (for specific learning disabilities and sensory issues)
how others react
intimate relationships and tics
my opinions on popular shows depicting characters with my disorders
and i am curious to see what people without tics/specific learning disabilities/sensory issues want to know <3 [heart emoji]
2. BETA READING/SENSITIVITY READING
Yes, i will do it for free. Hopefully the exchange will go like this: i receive a free short story with rep of my disorder to read and you will receive free advice on how to make it better.
i will not spell check your work for obvious reasons, but
i WILL tell you whether your character is realistic, and whether you did a good job avoiding overused or harmful tropes, when it comes to tics/dyslexia/dysgraphia (also i can consult on Polish characters lol, it's always fun to read about Polish people, but i will give my answer on @eye-devourer in order to leave this blog more focused).
you can send me an ask with a paragraph of your work you want me to comment on. It will help if you add what things you want me to focus on.
if you want me to read a longer text (up to 3 pages) DM me. I can't promise anything, but i will see what i can do. We'll figure something out.
3. REQUESTS or suggestions
very much welcomed.
I feel more comfortable talking about my experiences, thoughts, and opinions, but if you want me to dig a little into the research/medical side of things i'd be more than happy to provide. Just remember that i am not a specialist myself.
4. SPELLING MISTAKES
i will make them. often.
be kind about it. i use a spellchecker, but sometimes i will misspell a word in such a way that even the spellchecker won't be able to help. I also struggle with homophones (whether/weather; flower/flour).
if you feel the need to notify me do it in notes of the post. Provide the correct spelling, so i can copy paste it in (i often literally will not be able to spot the difference between my spelling and yours, so copy paste is the only reliable option).
english is my second language. just remember that, when reading my posts
7 notes · View notes
ghostlyvoidshark · 9 months ago
Text
Hnnnghhdhdh thoughts of the sillies forever haunts me. Someone please worsen my brainrot I need to write something. The words wont word right but im trying.
The best I have right now is thinking about how the skelebois would react to someone with tourette-syndrome (because I have it and self indulgence in creative works is great.)
Please let me know your ideas and stuff about this and if you want more guys with other stuff or more reacting to this!
Sans
Very patient with you and honestly would probably not care unless something is timed funny / a silly response. I personally wouldn't be offended and would probably laugh at myself too. Like something happens - maybe he made a comment about something like the price of a ketchup bottle and you reply with a tic like "yippee" and you both end up snorting. Maybe it even becomes an inside joke. "How cheap is it?" / "dont worry its yippee certified."
Wouldn't ever antagonize your tics. He may joke (after a convo about boundaries and if youre genuinely okay with jokes) but he doesnt echo you / encourage you to tic for humors sake or anything else.
He doesn't personally understand tics and how it feels to do it but he understands pain and would 100% be there to help you out when / if you have painful tics. If you allow it he'll get you soothing items and distract you if it will help. Just let him know and he's got you.
If you develop a tic related to him he'll lowkey find it endearing. Like he isn't sure if its because you like him or if it's just a coincidence but he smiles a bit wider when you do it. (Stars help him if you develop a pun related tic like repeating his or saying one)
I usually have happy tics (probs something tied to stimming but it feels like a tic.) So i can imagine if you tell him the related tic is because youre happy he would melt on the inside. Especially when he realizes you echo him because you think hes funny. He has buried his face in a pillow to hide his blush after you leave. Papyrus has teased him for this.
Has on occasion made people uncomfortable for antagonizing you. Like glaring or making pointed jokes to rude people. He'll try to call them out first just in case they don't realize they're being harmful but if they don't care then He'll make them.
Papyrus
"ARE YOU OKAY?"
"Yeah, its just -" *explains tourettes*
"OH! OKAY! :] "
Literally as simple as that. He doesn't draw anymore attention to it or really notice it unless you bring it up. Like he just writes it off as a thing that happens and adjusts quick.
If you're okay with it he'll inform people you have it when they get confused. He figures it must be tiring constantly explaining yourself, but worry not! He loves sharing information and explaining things! Especially when its helpful! Not to mention when the topic can educate others on how to be more respectful and informed on others disabilities. So he sees it as an all around good thing and wouldnt be bothered at all to help. (Also he isnt going to just announce this about you, only saying things in convo if ppl ask)
Also, even if you prefer he not say anything, he will educate himself on the subject so he can be a better help and have a better understanding just in case the subject ever comes up later or he meets someone else with tics. It also doesn't hurt to be aware and conscious of these types of things!
I feel like he's respectful enough to let you finish your sentences but if you struggle really hard he might try to help. He'd gently ask a question about what youre trying to say and suggest words to help. He wont do it again if you ask him to stop - hes not doing it maliciously after all. He just doesn't want you to feel frustrated with yourself.
Is a tiny bit (actually very much) hyped when you echo him or have a tic related to him. He asks if its a good thing (like not a stress tic or smth) and if you say yes then he kinda taps his feet / jogs in place and squeals like an exited fan. Says soemthing along the lines of "I AM HONORED TO BE A PART OF SOMETHING YOU DO TO EXPRESS POSITIVE EMOTIONS!"
Awe and if you copy his laugh? Like echoing it when you're happy or smth he is beaming with pride like he's the sun itself. Because!! His laugh!!! It makes you happy and you want to do it with him!!! Kcjdjsns
Actually surprisingly (or not so surprisingly) helpful with painful tics and tic attacks. He is very good at getting you what you need to soothe you / make things less painful and stressful.
Would lecture someone for antagonizing you.
Red
Unusually patient with you finishing sentences and stuff. He kinda just sees any stutters or interruptions as part of the sentence. Like if someone were to get sidetracked or mutter something - he sees it like that. Sometimes he gets frustrated if you struggle to say something for a bit but its not at you. Its at the fact that he isn't getting what you mean when you try to explain without the troublesome word or if you continue to try to say it and it doesn't click in his head.
His immediate reaction is to side eye you but he doesn't make a big deal out of it. He'll probably comment on it like "you gettin' possessed?" But after you explain hes like "oh." And backs off. Might make some jokes before even processing that it could be offensive. Like not jokes about you being broken or negative stuff (hes trying not to be so rough around the edges lol) but just puns about the tics and jokes about glitches or something.
Probably would be the most ... "normal" about it. Wouldn't really ignore them or treat it like its a sensitive topic. Will point out when its funny (in a non harmful way), asks about them sometimes, and makes small comments here and there. For example if you make a weird gesture he'll tease you about it saying stuff like "castin' spells?" Or "I agree" to something you said that makes no sense.
Never thinks to antagonize your tics. Like yeah, he jokes, but he just doesnt think about it or think to avoid it. He just doesnt.
Gives mean looks and snaps at people who do it. He'll be nonchalant about it at first like "hey man, fuck off with that." But if they keep on he'll get more aggressive.
Kinda awkward with the painful ones at first. He thinks you probably just want to get through it and move on because pain isn't something normally expressed for him so he kinda just subtly goes easy on you without really drawing attention to it. If you express it more openly and/or he gets more comfortable he will try to help you out. He understands having aches and pains from things you can't really help (like wounds and scars) so he'll try to apply what he knows and what you tell him helps.
Grim
A little impatient but tries his best to be polite. He understand its not your fault, and he doesnt blame you for any irritation he has, he just gets antsy when things arent efficient. (Hes working on it.) At least he doesnt rush you or anything... yay?
Other than that he has a "i don't care" attitude about it. Yes yes, its a part of you, so what? He doesn't mean anything by it, he just doesn't see it as something worth acknowledging, really. It's like noticing someone has curly hair. Its there, it might be something worth noting at first, but then you just forget about it until its relevant.
Doesnt care if something is funnily timed either. You can have fun with it but he isnt bothered. But if you have a response to something he says, tic or otherwise, he instinctively takes it as a genuine response lmao.
"HM, THESE NOODLES HAVE BETTER INGREDIENTS BUT THESE ONES HAVE THE PERFECT SHAPE FOR WHAT I WANT TO DO."
*tic: " mac n cheese"
"NO, MACARONI NOODLES WOULD NOT SUFFICE."
Like he doesn't process it entirely that its a tic and kinda just responds seriously. Its kinda funny tbh. You'll probably end up giving up on explaining its a tic anyways if you try so itd be easier to go along with it. (He argues that it is rude not to respond and he is taking his manners seriously now that he is out the underground.)
Will rock someones shit for being disrespectful and antagonizing you. Like maybe not physically but he will verbally rip someone to shreds. Like its pathetic to antagonize someone for something so basic for no reason. Is this person serious? Being rude over something so minor. No, its not funny. What is funny is how this person thinks they can just start shit and be a nuisance with no consequences. People like them would've gotten their teeth knocked in for behaving that way. People at least knew not to be assholes for no reason. (They had a system of 'i leave you alone you leave me alone' unless someone was after something like power or money or whatever. You always had a reason to do violent things. It was normalized, but it wasn't barbaric. )
13 notes · View notes
minphics · 5 months ago
Note
EEEE!! IK THIS ISNT MY REBLOG PAGE BUT THIS DESERVES A REPOST ON THE MAIN
hello!! so i know ive never sent in an ask/request but.. ive been following you for a while and i love your writing style!! so i was wondering if youd be comfortable writing something where the mc/reader has tourettes syndrome? as someone who has tics it makes me lowkey sad that i never see any fics that represent that :/ (i think ive maybe read one..) so if youre comfortable with this sort of thing i have 2 scenarios that i was thinking of!!
texts with fem!reader where maybe a friend was trying to set a skz member and reader on a date and reader gets insecure thinking that he might not like her cause of her tics or think its weird? a little angst moment w a happy ending ofc :p
or headcanons/drabble of how you think a skz member(s) would be with an s/o that has tics? how they would handle tic attacks and such yk?
these are just suggestions ofc if you decide to do a reader w tics feel free to do whatever you feel like!! also i have no specific member i prefer just do whoever you see fit! or even ot8 :o
this was longer than i wanted it to be.. im so sorry :(… i love you tho and hope u have a great day/night!
(stay hydrated, you matter <3)
when i got this rec i immediately started working on it, because i think its important for people to know that they are seen. and if through one of my works i could help someone feel seen and cared for than thats what i want to do! in all honesty, i had to do a little research to better understand how to do my best to accurately represent TS; and i know it isn't perfect, but i hope it can at least be enough :) i hope you don't mind I kind of merged both of your ideas, since it came to my mind when i read through this request, and i think its a fun and wholesome way of showcasing this beautiful part about you. i know it must be extremley hard dealing with tourettes, as i've seen it in others lives, and it sometimes might be seen as a hinderance- but you were made this way with purpose, and i don't think that tourettes or anything of the sort should be seen as something ugly- but rather something that shaoes you and makes you you. i know that might seem cliche, but i beleive that differences are what what make people beautiful and i hope with these fics that shines thorugh <3 enjoy!!!
<<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>>
When Their Blind Date Has Tourettes Syndrome | 3Racha
Tourette Syndrome (TS) is a neurological disorder characterized by repetitive, involuntary movements and vocalizations known as tics. These tics can be motor (such as blinking, head jerking, or facial grimaces) or vocal (such as grunting, throat clearing, or involuntary words or phrases). The severity and frequency of tics can vary greatly from person to person. TS often begins in childhood, and while symptoms can improve with age, they may persist into adulthood. The exact cause is unknown, but genetics and environmental factors are believed to play a role. The condition can often accompanied by other issues like ADHD or OCD.
Warnings: cursing
<<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>>
Chan
The café was quiet, the kind of serene setting perfect for a blind date. But you couldn’t fully enjoy it- not with your nerves tangled like this.
When Chan arrived, his easy smile and warm energy made it a little easier to breathe, though the thought of what could go wrong lingered at the back of your mind.
He approached with a casual wave, his hoodie slightly oversized, making him look more approachable than you’d expected. “Y/N?” he asked, his Australian accent soft and cozy.
“That’s me,” you replied, your voice steadier than you felt.
“And I’m Chan,” he introduced himself, sliding into the seat across from you. “It’s nice to finally meet you.”
“Yeah, same.” You smiled, tugging at the sleeve of your sweater.
The conversation started smoothly, easing into topics about work, hobbies, and mutual friends who had set you two up. But as your tics began surfacing- little jerks of your head, accompanied by muttered syllables- you noticed Chan’s gaze shift slightly. It wasn’t discomfort or judgment, though; it was curiosity, an openness that surprised you.
When a loud, unexpected swear escaped your lips- "Fuck! Shit!"- the words hanging awkwardly between you, your stomach dropped. The moment you’d dreaded was here. You braced yourself, heart racing.
“I…I should explain,” you started, your words hurried. “I have Tourette’s, and- uh - its the coprolalia kind." You laughed nervously. "It’s not all the time, but sometimes - goddammit - I just…swear. I promise I’m not trying to - fucking asshole - be rude or anything. I'm just involuntarily profane on occasion." You finshed with a click of your tongue.
Chan’s eyes softened, his brow furrowing slightly. “Y/N,” he said, his tone light, “you don’t need to apologize. Like you said, it’s not something you can control.”
“I just- I know it can be a lot,” you admitted, your voice wavering. “And I don’t want to mess this up, but…this is part of me, and I can’t always- ” Another tic interrupted you, louder this time. “Fucking hell!” The words burst out, and you winced, unable to stop yourself. “I already really like you,” you confessed in a rush, voice quieter now, “But if this is too much…”
Chan reached out across the table, his hand brushing yours gently. “Hey, Y/N, look at me.” His voice was soft but firm, grounding you. “It’s not too much, okay? You’re amazing, and this doesn’t change that.”
“But what if it gets worse?” you asked, the fear evident in your tone.
He smiled, leaning back in his chair. “Then I guess I’ll have to work on not laughing when you curse better than I do.” He commented, his dimple visible. He tilted his head playfully. “I mean, you’ve already got me beat. I can’t even cuss in my songs unless it’s wordplay.”
Despite yourself, a surprised laugh escaped your lips. The tension eased just a little, the weight of the moment lifting as you realized he wasn’t just accepting- he was embracing this part of you.
The rest of the date was easier after that. You talked about your favorite shows, your shared love of music, and even a bit about his work. But later, as you both stood at the café counter to pay, things took a turn.
A customer bumped into you, and you immediately spun to apologize.
“Oh I'm so- Asshole! Sorry, fuck!” The words tumbled out in quick succession, your face paling as the man turned to glare at you.
“What did you just say to me?” he demanded, his voice rising.
“I- I didn’t mean to!” you stammered, panic setting in as another tic followed. “Shut up! Oh my god, bitch fuck!”
“Are you kidding me?” The man stepped closer, anger flashing in his eyes.
Before you could respond, Chan was at your side, his presence a solid wall of protection. “Hey, back off,” he said firmly, his tone leaving no room for argument. “She has Tourette’s. She didn’t mean it.”
The man scoffed. “Right, sure.”
Chan squared his shoulders, his expression calm but unyielding. “You heard me. She can’t control it. Now, do you want to keep making a scene, or are you going to walk away?”
After a moment of tense silence, the man muttered something under his breath and turned away. Chan stayed by your side, his hand brushing the small of your back as he looked at you. “You okay?”
Tears welled in your eyes, but you nodded, feeling both overwhelmed and touched by his defense. “I’m sorry,” you whispered.
“Don’t be.” He smiled softly, brushing a tear from your cheek with his thumb. “You don’t have to apologize for being you, Y/N.”
As you left the café together, the cool night air brushed against your face, but it didn’t feel as sharp as it had earlier. Not with Chan walking beside you, his presence steady and comforting. You looked at him, your heart full, and wondered if this was what it felt like to be truly understood.
“You know,” Chan said, breaking the silence with a teasing grin, “If I ever need someone for creative adlibs, I think you’ve got a solid resume.”
You burst into laughter, the sound blending with the night, and for the first time in a long time, you felt like it was okay to just be you.
As you walked side by side down the quiet street, the tension from earlier melted away into a comfortable silence. Chan glanced at you, the way the faint glow of the streetlights caught in your hair and softened the nervous creases in your expression. He felt a quiet sense of awe settle in his chest, like he’d stumbled upon something rare and precious without even realizing it.
You were real- messy and raw and unapologetically yourself in ways that left him both grounded and inspired. He admired the way you carried the weight of your tics with grace, even when the world pushed back harder than it should. And now, as your laughter from his earlier joke faded into the stillness, he realized something else: he didn’t want this to be a fleeting moment or a passing chapter.
Chan could see it- a future where he was by your side, learning every part of what made you you. A future where he’d be the one to hold your hand during hard days and celebrate the victories that came your way. The thought both terrified and thrilled him, but as he glanced down at you, your soft smile easing the ache of your earlier tears, he couldn’t imagine wanting anything else.
"Y/N," he said softly, his voice breaking through the quiet. "Thanks for letting me see this side of you tonight. I mean it- it makes me want to stick around."
You looked at him, surprised by the sincerity in his tone, but the warmth in his gaze left no room for doubt. And as you continued walking together into the night, your heart felt just a little lighter, the first stirrings of something new and hopeful beginning to take root.
<<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>>
Changbin
Changbin had been skeptical about the blind date from the start. His friends had teased him relentlessly, insisting he needed to “put himself out there,” and while he’d grumbled about it, here he was. Standing in line at the movie theater, his phone buzzed with a quick text confirming you’d arrived.
When his eyes met yours across the crowded lobby, his breath caught. You were standing near the concessions, shifting nervously on your feet as you looked around. There was something endearingly hesitant about the way you tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, like you were steeling yourself.
"Hi," you greeted softly when he approached, offering a shy smile. Your voice was gentle but warm, and it immediately put him at ease.
“Hey,” he replied, his grin spreading easily. “You must be Y/N.”
As you nodded, a quick, staccato whistle broke through the air- a sound you made involuntarily. It was followed by a soft “meow” and an apologetic wince on your part.
“I’m sorry,” you said quickly, your gaze darting to his face as if bracing for judgment.
Changbin tilted his head slightly, his expression curious but kind. “Did you just...meow?” A musical sound lilted amusingly at the end of his sentence.
Your cheeks flushed. “I- um- I have Tourette’s,” you explained in a rush, your words tumbling over each other. “I can’t always control my tics, and sometimes they’re, uh…kind of random. Like the meowing. Or…” You paused as another whistle slipped out, followed by a faint, high-pitched “boo!”
For a moment, he just blinked at you, then broke into a wide smile. “In all honesty...that’s kind of adorable. You’re like a sound effects board.”
Your jaw dropped slightly, caught off guard by his response. “You don’t think it’s… weird?”
He shrugged, his gaze warm and steady. “Everyone’s got their quirks. Yours just happen to make you sound like a cartoon character, and honestly, I think that’s awesome.”
Relief flooded your features, and your shoulders relaxed slightly. “Most people don’t really see it that way.”
“Well, most people are missing out.” He shot you a playful wink, and when you laughed, the tension in the air dissolved.
The two of you fell into an easy rhythm as you moved through the line, chatting about everything from favorite movies to your shared love of snacks. Changbin couldn’t help but notice how your tics- whistles, squeaks, and the occasional unexpected phrase- seemed to punctuate your sentences like exclamation points.
“Honestly,” he said at one point, his tone teasing, “your tics match my cute energy, don't you think?” He said poking his cheek in mock aegeyo. "It's babygirl heaven, don't you think?"
You laughed so hard at that, you nearly dropped your drink. “I cannot believe you just said that.”
He grinned, pleased with himself. “What can I say? Its the truth.”
But as you approached the counter to pick up your popcorn, the mood shifted. A group of teens standing nearby had been snickering quietly, but their whispers grew louder when one of your tics- a sudden, sharp “woof!” -rang out.
“Did she just bark?” one of them muttered, barely concealing a laugh.
Another chimed in, mockingly imitating the sound.
Your cheeks flushed, and you quickly turned away, mumbling an apology to the cashier as another tic- this time a chirped “uh-oh!”- slipped out. The laughter from the group grew louder, and you visibly flinched, trying to shrink into yourself.
Before you could even process what was happening, Changbin stepped forward, his voice cutting through the commotion like a blade. “Hey, is there a problem?”
The teens fell silent, their smug grins faltering under the weight of his glare.
“Because if there is,” he continued, his tone calm but laced with steel, “I suggest you take a good, long look at yourselves and figure out why you think laughing at someone for something they can’t control makes you feel better about your own lives.”
One of them opened their mouth to respond, but the words seemed to die on their tongue as Changbin took a deliberate step closer, his presence suddenly towering despite his shorter frame.
“Thought so,” he said, his smile tight and unyielding. “Now, if you’ll excuse us.”
He turned back to you, his expression softening immediately. “You okay?”
Your throat felt tight, but you managed a nod, blinking back the sting of tears. “Yeah. I just…I’m embarrassed.”
“Embarrassed? For what?” His brow furrowed in genuine confusion.
“For causing a scene. For…” You hesitated, your voice breaking slightly. “For being a lot.”
Changbin’s expression softened, but his voice was steady and firm as he rested his hand gently on your arm, grounding you. “Y/N, you are just you. And anyone who can’t see how amazing that is doesn’t deserve your time, okay?”
The sincerity in his voice was overwhelming, his gaze so earnest it made your chest ache. For a moment, all you could do was nod, your chest tightening with a mix of gratitude and something deeper you couldn’t quite name.
As the two of you settled into your seats in the theater, he handed you your drink, his shoulder brushing yours in a way that felt both casual and deliberate. He leaned closer, his tone warm and teasing. "Like I said, I think your tics are adorable. And with a face like yours, I don't think any tic could be ugly or embarrassing."
Your laugh bubbled out, soft and genuine, and his grin widened. The tension you’d been carrying began to ease, replaced by a quiet sense of comfort.
Throughout the movie, you couldn’t help but notice the way he’d glance at you when you laughed at a scene or leaned forward slightly during an intense moment. It wasn’t just the movie holding his attention- it was you.
And Changbin knew it. With every glance, every tiny movement you made, he felt his resolve strengthening. He didn’t just want to spend the evening with you; he wanted to be part of your life in every way. He wanted to learn all the things that made you laugh, what made your eyes light up, what brought out the quiet confidence he’d glimpsed earlier.
He wanted to be the person you trusted with every part of yourself, the one who reminded you how extraordinary you were even when you couldn’t see it.
When the credits rolled, he stayed seated for a moment, turning to face you as you stretched and looked over at him. His chest tightened as he saw the way your smile hesitated, like you weren’t sure he’d want to stick around for more.
But he did. He wanted everything.
“How about dinner?” he asked, his words quick but hopeful. “I mean…if you’re up for it. I’d really like to keep talking to you. About anything. Everything.” His voice softened, carrying a weight of sincerity that made your breath catch. “I want to know you, Y/N. All of you.”
Your cheeks warmed, and a smile broke across your face, shy but unguarded. “I’d like that.”
As the two of you walked out of the theater, the night air felt lighter, the buzz of the world around you fading into the background. Changbin fell into step beside you, his shoulder brushing yours again.
Then, without hesitation, he reached out, his hand slipping into yours. His touch was gentle but firm, grounding, like he wanted to hold onto you in every way.
Your fingers curled around his, and when you glanced up, his smile softened, his dark eyes brimming with something you couldn’t quite name.
In that moment, Changbin wasn’t just thinking about the next date or the night ahead. He was thinking about the way you made his heart race, the way you made him feel alive in a way he hadn’t realized he was missing.
He wanted more of this- more of you. Not just tonight, not just a few dates, but always. And as his thumb brushed lightly over the back of your hand, he realized one thing: he didn’t just want you around. He wanted you in his life, forever.
And he was so happy he didn't say no to this blind date.
<<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>>
Han
Han Jisung had never considered himself the blind-date type. He liked to think of himself as spontaneous, sure- but not this kind of spontaneous. Yet, here he was, bundled in his favorite oversized hoodie, leaning against the railing of the city’s rooftop garden, waiting for a stranger.
When he saw you, his first thought was that his friend had undersold this whole setup. You weren’t at all what he expected- not that he knew what to expect. You were a breathtaking kind of pretty. And Han's heart flipped his chest.
You walked up with a careful sort of confidence, clutching the strap of your tote bag, your breath misting in the cool night air.
“Hi,” you greeted with a shy smile, your head tilting slightly as you blinked rapidly, followed by a quick jerk of your shoulder.
“Hi,” Jisung replied, pretending not to notice. He already felt his nerves settle slightly. There was something about you that felt...real.
Your mutual friend had mentioned you liked quiet settings, so instead of a loud restaurant or café, the garden had seemed like a good idea. Jisung gestured to the path leading further into the rooftop greenery. “Shall we walk?”
You nodded, your steps matching his, though every few strides you tapped your fingers against your leg. A small tic, but it was constant, like a rhythm you needed to keep.
The conversation started slow. Typical blind-date awkwardness lingered, but Jisung’s natural humor quickly worked its way in. He made a joke about the chilly weather, earning a laugh from you that felt like a little victory.
“So,” he began after a lull, “what’s your favorite thing to do in the city? Or are you more of a stay-home-and-chill type?”
“I like to stay in most days,” you admitted, tilting your head again as your hand briefly flicked out to your side. “I guess I’m more introverted. But when I do go out, I like quieter places…like this.”
“Good choice,” Jisung agreed, kicking the ground nervously. “Crowds are overrated anyway.”
You laughed softly, but your shoulders twitched again, more pronounced this time. You tried to suppress it, but Jisung caught the way your hand clenched slightly afterward, as if bracing yourself.
As the walk continued, your tics became more noticeable- a rapid blinking, a jerk of your wrist, the occasional tap of your foot on the pavement mid-stride. You hesitated for a moment before stopping by a bench, your hand brushing against your hair as you looked at the ground.
“Hey,” you said, your voice quieter now, “I think I should tell you something.”
Jisung turned to face you, his brow furrowed in concern. “What’s up?”
“I have Tourette’s,” you explained, your tone steady but guarded. “It’s not super severe, I've learned to live with it most days, but…I wanted to mention it in case…” You trailed off, your hand twitching slightly toward your chest before falling back to your lap.
“In case what?” Jisung asked gently.
“In case it’s…too much.”
For a moment, Jisung stared at you, his face unreadable. You wondered if you’d just ruined the evening. But then he spoke, his voice tinged with disbelief.
“Too much? Are you kidding? I can be a lot. Like, ask anyone.”
You blinked at him, caught off guard by his lighthearted tone.
“I mean, seriously,” he continued, gesturing wildly for emphasis. “I talk way too much when I’m nervous, I lose stuff constantly, and don’t even get me started on how clumsy I am. If anyone’s a walking chaos machine, it’s me.”
You laughed softly, but it didn’t last long. Your shoulder jerked twice, quickly followed by an involuntary flick of your hand. You sighed, your lips trembling slightly as you looked away. “But it’s not just that, Jisung,” you muttered, your voice breaking slightly. “I… I don’t want to mess this up.”
His teasing grin faded, replaced by a look of concern. “Mess what up?”
“This,” you whispered, blinking rapidly as tears welled in your eyes. “You’re so nice, and I already really like you, but then there’s… me. My tics. It’s not just that I get nervous; it’s that I can’t stop it. And I hate thinking that it might make people uncomfortable, even if they don’t mean for it to.”
Your words spilled out faster than you could stop them, and you quickly wiped at your eyes, frustrated with yourself. “I don’t want to scare you away. But I…I don’t know how not to. Everyone else has been scared away before- but you seem really nice and I actually feel something and I don't want to put hope into something that-”
Jisung felt his chest tighten at your words. Without thinking, he dropped down to sit beside you on the bench, interupting you, his tone soft but firm. “Hey, hey, don’t cry. Please don’t cry.”
You shook your head, a small, bitter laugh slipping out. “Sorry, I’m just…making this worse, aren't I?” You flicked your hand out again, accidentally slapping Han.
“No,” he said quickly. “No, you’re not. I mean it.”
When you didn’t respond, Jisung hesitated before reaching out, his hand hovering awkwardly near your shoulder. “Can I…?”
You nodded, and he gently rested his hand there, his thumb brushing lightly against the fabric of your coat. “Listen,” he began, “I don’t know who made you think you had to be scared of people running away from you being you, but they’re wrong. You’re…you’re great. And brave, too, for being so honest about this. I admire that.”
You blinked at him through your tears, caught off guard by the sincerity in his voice. You hand jerked out, but this time he caught it, intertwining his fingers with yours.
“And honestly?” he continued, a small smile tugging at his lips, as he rubbed his hands over your manicured nails. “You’re not scaring me away. Like, at all. If anything, you’re just making me want to know you better.”
You let out a shaky breath, his words sinking in slowly but surely. “Really?”
“Really,” he confirmed, his eyes crinkling with warmth. “And besides, I kind of suck at running, Like really really suck. I trip more than I actually run.”
A soft laugh escaped you then, the tension in your chest easing for the first time that evening. “You’re kind of amazing, you know that?”
Jisung’s cheeks flushed pink, but he shrugged playfully. “I mean, I try.”
The rest of the night felt lighter. The two of you walked through the garden, Han's hand still in yours, your tics still present but no longer a source of discomfort. Every now and then, Jisung would glance at you- never with pity, but with curiosity and something warmer, softer.
As the two of you stopped at the edge of the rooftop, overlooking the twinkling lights below, Jisung turned to you with a thoughtful expression.
“You know,” he said, his voice softer now, “I think this is my favorite blind date ever.”
You raised an eyebrow. “How many have you been on?”
“This is my first,” he admitted with a sheepish laugh, scratching the back of his neck. “But still! It’s gonna be hard to top…”
You raised an eyebrow, giving him an amused look.
“Not that I want it to be topped,” he continued quickly, a bit flustered. “I always kind of figured I’d be a one-and-done deal. Like my first is my last...and, I mean, it might be way too soon to say, but I think I lucked out with you…I kind of just feel it.”
You rolled your eyes, but a smile couldn’t help but tug at your lips.
“Really, though,” Jisung added, his gaze earnest, eyes softening. “I had a great time tonight. And…if you’re up for it, I’d like to properly date you...”
“Even with my…” You gestured vaguely, your voice trailing off.
"Because of it," he corrected gently, his voice soft but unwavering. His eyes searched yours, full of warmth and something deeper that made your breath catch. "It's part of you- every piece of it. And I don’t just like who you are…I can easily see myself fall for you."
His words hung in the cool night air, wrapping around you like a tender embrace. For a moment, you couldn’t speak, your heart pounding so fiercely it was a wonder he couldn’t hear it.
“Jisung…” you murmured, your voice shaky but full of emotion.
He smiled, that familiar sheepish tilt to his lips, but his gaze stayed steady, unwavering in its honesty. “I don’t want this to be just a ‘one and done’ date. I want to keep getting to know you. To see where this could go. So that maybe you can be my one and done person.”
Your lips curved into a soft smile, your chest tightening with something you hadn’t dared to hope for. “Okay,” you whispered, the word carrying more weight than you expected. “I’d like that too.”
His grin widened, and the way he looked at you in that moment- like you were the only person in the world- made you feel like you could get used to this, to him, far too easily.
<<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>>
@abovenyx @wolfs-archive @oddracha
@iyeeeverydee @parisanmorovati @seungmincenteric
@panbish-1209 @fxiry-vtt @sseawavee
@shuporanporang @amarecerasus @softkisshyunjin
@whoa-jo @meanergreener @rikibun
@ayyonoona @shinywombatcrusade @y4yayael
@skzstan12345 @mariteez @allys-reads
@jazziwritesthings @skzstannie @yongbokkiesworld
@kkkeopi @neverendingstay @moony-9
@minsungsthirdwheel @everlastingspring143 @joyofbebbanburg
@leezanetheofficial @tr-mha-fan @bubbly-moon
@night-storm7 @missmajdastark @axel-skz
91 notes · View notes
noctiva · 1 month ago
Text
Sweet Thing (PT. 2)
Toby Rogers x F!Reader [NSFW!]
-
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
-
Part One!
Part Three! (Will be added once it’s posted)
Playlist!
-
WC: 24.4k (a beast, I know.)
Summary: One night. One night is all it takes for your simple life to take a turn you would’ve never expected. With rough hands moulding you into something you didn’t think you could ever be, you don’t realize you’re in too deep until it’s far too late.
CW: 18+ content, mentions of religion + religious imagery, questioning faith, descriptions of violence and gore, alluded sexism, americans written by a canadian lmaoaoao, manipulation, sort of toxic relationship, loss of innocence, loss of virginity, explicit sexual content, corruption, salirophilia, unsafe sex, semi-public sex, lowkey-exhibitionism, dirty talk, toby being an asshole lowkey, sort of kind of coercion
Reminder to separate reality from fiction! Some of the acts written here are definitely not recommended to imitate. Be safe!
-
NSFW under the cut! Minors do not interact!
-
You were quite literally trembling with anticipation.
Hands shaking as they held your fork, refusing to meet anybody’s eyes as you sat at the dinner table - the roast your mother had slaved over virtually untouched. It was a nice meal; slow-cooked seasoned meat from a freshly slaughtered cow, homemade mashed potatoes topped with a hearty amount of butter, stewed peas and carrots plucked from the ground outside.
The type of meal that you should be digging into, appreciating the hard work your mother had put into it to keep you fed and happy. And you would, on any other night, but not tonight. Not when your thoughts were so loud they were giving you a headache.
Toby had stayed with you for a little while after asking for your company later tonight. Sat next to you with his legs crossed, his knee bumping into yours every now and then. He had told you lots of things, voice soft as his scarred fingers plucked stray weeds from between the blades of grass.
Your mother had been right, about a lot of aspects. Toby had moved around quite often, hopping from state to state and hospital to hospital since he was just a baby. He had told you, that not only did he have Tourette’s, but he also had what caused him the most trouble - a condition that numbed his body to pain.
On the surface, you didn’t think it sounded all too bad, but the more explained it with a solemn frown tugging at his lips, you realized it really was a curse more than anything else. Broken bones left to fester because he couldn’t feel the pain of the fracture. Cracked teeth from clenching his jaw too tightly without realizing. Biting his nails until they were raw and bloody, only noticing the damage once he tasted iron on his tongue.
He wouldn’t show you his bare face, he had said, because he had gnawed through his own cheek without even noticing.
‘It’s u-ugly.’ He had muttered. ‘Real fuh-fuckin’ ugly. Highly doubt you’d s-still wanna talk to me if I showed you.”
“No, I would.” You had argued softly, as your eyes drifted to the bandaging that covered him up once more. Could it really be that bad? And even if it was, would you really be that disgusted?
Could anything really distract from how pleasant his features were to look at? He was rugged, a little roughed up, but in a way that endeared you. All his scars and imperfections coming together to form a man that you just couldn’t take your eyes off of.
He wasn’t perfect. Far from it. And maybe, that was the charm.
You had spent your entire life trying to fit into the mould that had been formed for you before even being born. Prim and proper. Soft spoken and considerate. Prioritizing everyone else’s needs over yours. Everything a woman should be, to make the lives that floated around you live easier. You were supposed to be perfect. It was what you were born to be.
It felt nice to be around someone who would never expect that of you, because he had a long way to go himself.
“Y-You say that…” Toby had breathed out in response to your little protests, his eyes holding a sad sort of resignation when they met yours once more. “But I think I’m still g-gonna keep it c-covered.”
You had been disheartened by his refusal, but looking back on it you couldn’t really blame him. You supposed the only people he had come across before you, were people like Jameson. People who shunned him for something he couldn’t control. People who backed him into a cage, forcing him to be ashamed for living within a body he didn’t ask for.
Maybe, one day you’d get the chance to show him that he didn’t need to be.
“Oh, baby, we are not doin’ this again.”
Your mother’s voice snaps you out of your daydream so harshly it makes you flinch, though she sounded just as sweet as always. You look down at your plate, just as full as it had been when you last focused on it, before your eyes snap up to your mother’s face. She’s staring down at you with a deep frown - one hand on her hip and the other holding everyone else’s plates. All completely empty. “I told you at breakfast that you’re not skipping dinner.” She reaches down to nudge your plate closer to you, but by now all the fixings have gone cold. What a waste. “What’sa matter with you today? Head in the clouds. Barely eating.”
If you told her, you’d probably start world war three right here at your dinner table. How were you supposed to say that you were too distracted because later tonight, you had your first date with a boy. Ever. Not to mention, the very same she had told you to steer far clear of.
“Nothin’, mama.” You answer back as convincingly as you can. By the look on her face, you can tell it’s not working. “I just haven’t had an appetite today. Maybe I caught a bug.”
“Caught a bug?” Jameson snorts from beside you, leaning back in his chair with an eyebrow raised. “You caught a bug, in the middle of summer.” His words come out laced with so much sarcasm it makes your brows wrinkle together. Just once. If he took your side just once, life would be so much easier.
“Yeah. Maybe I did.” You narrow your eyes at him, before dropping your gaze back to your plate once more. With a sigh, you finally pick your fork back up again and use it to shovel up a mouthful of mashed potatoes - which you have to force down. Cold. Just like you had expected. “Butt out, Jamesy.”
“Ah, don’t think I will.” Jameson hums back to you, watching you like a hawk with each mouthful of food you choke down. It was already hard to eat, but now it was even worse with an audience. “Ma’s right, you’ve been actin’ weird today.” He leans forwards a bit more, a sly little smirk tugging at the corners of his cracked lips. “Hiding somethin’?”
You didn’t think you were that obvious. At least, you had tried not to be. But, you supposed it was to be expected. You had spent the last nineteen years surrounded by these four people, day in and day out. Almost always under the watchful eye of at least one of them. It would be easy for them to pick out if something was off about you.
“I ain’t hiding nothin’.” You mutter back to him through a mouthful of carrots, to which you earn swift smack on the back of your head from your mother.
“Keep talkin’ with your mouth full and I’ll throw you in the barn with the rest of the animals.” Her tone is sharp and scolding, and you quickly swallow down the rest of your food before looking up at her apologetically. “You better not be hiding anything.” She continues, and there’s that look again. Peering down at you like she’s trying to get you to crack, her gaze steadfast as she waits for you to look away nervously - effectively admitting defeat.
But you didn’t, even when you felt sweat bead up on your brow.
“I told you, mama, I think I’m just comin’ down with something.” Somehow, that lie sounds even less convincing the second time it leaves your tongue. “I think I just need a good nights rest.”
Your mother, doesn’t look swayed. And when you glance over at Jameson, he doesn’t either.
You couldn’t exactly be blamed though. You weren’t well versed in the act of lying, especially not to your loved ones. It felt so wrong. Like each mistruth was stacking on your shoulders, weighing you down more and more each time you opened your mouth.
The weight of sin, you knew it was. A reminder to get back on track when you start to stray from the path. It rose goosebumps on your skin and made your chest feel tight. Made the crucifix around your neck feel like a noose, slowly choking you out more with each word you spoke.
You have to ask yourself if it’s really worth it. All of this stress and anxiety. To be damning yourself, simply for the sake of some companionship.
The answer, just makes you feel worse.
Because you did think it was worth it. Despite how wrong it was, and despite how much trouble you’d get into it you were ever found out.
Sitting next to Toby, talking to him, had been the most free you had felt since you took your first breath. He made you feel… Listened to. Appreciated. Known. He made you feel all of those things, within the span of just over an hour. And so if he could do that, by simply sharing space with you under the willow - what could he do if you gave him more time?
What else could he make you feel?
Maybe, that was why your family didn’t want you hanging around him. Because he made you wonder if the life you lived was really as good as you made it out to be.
He showed you that there could be more. That it could be so much better.
He was dangerous.
“Why would I ever lie to you, mama?” You asked her, in the sweetest, most sincere tone you could muster up. And maybe it was overkill, because all she responds with is a simple;
“I don’t know, darlin’. Why would you?”
To your surprise, she doesn’t push further, but you would guess that was on purpose. She wanted to let her words fester, sink into whatever secret you were keeping locked away, and gnaw at it until you were caving from the unbearable guilt.
Begging for forgiveness like a good woman should. From God first, then her second.
You could also hope, that on the flip side maybe she did actually believe you - because there was truth to your words, despite how coated in deception they were now. You hadn’t ever lied to her. Not before today. You had credibility, a track record of being honest and open.
A clean slate tainted in just a few hours.
You felt almost… Disgusted with yourself. So ashamed it brought a sickly taste to your mouth, almost unable to believe that you were sinking so low. Prioritizing your selfish desires over your loyalty to your family.
Your family. The ones who had raised you, cared for you, kept you safe and wiped the tears from your cheeks. You were turning your back on them, for a boy you barely knew anything about. A boy who had wriggled his way into your mind like a parasite, making a permanent home in your mind even when you tried to stay focused on the present.
A boy whose gaze made your tongue feel heavy. A boy who could turn you to stone with the lightest touch.
A boy who had awakened something, that had long been sleeping. Coaxing you to sink into all of the desires you had told yourself were so incredibly depraved. A boy who encouraged that, all while wearing the sweetest smile you’ve ever seen.
Toby had incited a war within your mind. Tearing into your psyche with his bare hands, moulding it into something he could settle comfortably into. The carnage of who you thought you were, left to be a mutilated mess that he used as a throne. He had hooked you from the first touch, imbuing you with an ache that you knew would persist until you felt the roughness of his fingers again.
He had grazed your cheek with the same gentleness as the summer’s breeze. Like you were made of porcelain. Something he knew he could easily break.
Little did he know, he had broken you the moment he bridged the gap and let his skin brush against yours.
Somehow, you manage to finish dinner. You choke it down with a lot of water to make it easier, trying to quell the way your hands would shake every time you lifted your fork. You did your best to act as if nothing was out of the ordinary, listening in to the idle chatter of your family - even as your pulse thudded so loudly in your ears that it drowned out your thoughts.
You laughed at Jameson’s stupid jokes, and nodded along to your father’s usual grumbled complaints about people you couldn’t remember the names of. You played the part, even though you felt like nothing short of a phony.
An actress, playing the part of the daughter you should be.
By the time everyone’s retreating from the table, you feel like your throat is closing up. The meal you had just eaten was siting heavy in your stomach, and when your mother wishes you a good night when you’re on your way to retreat upstairs - you feel like you’re going to throw it all back up.
She knew. You knew she knew. And yet here you were, standing here and spitting in the face of her trust. Here you were, making a mockery of the woman who had created you from her very flesh.
You don’t think any amount of repentance could redeem you after this. Because even though your legs wobbled as you walked up the stairs, even when your palms went clammy as she leaned down to press a kiss against your forehead - you just kept lying. Doubling down on it when your father gave your hair a gentle ruffle.
You must be a rotten, rotten girl.
Your parents both retreat off to bed, though it’s only just past eight o’clock. They were always early sleepers, given how early they rise as well. Always out of bed before you, even though you were normally crawling out of bed just after six.
Which meant that you, still had just under four hours to kill before driving the final knife in their backs. Midnight, might’ve been overkill to be sure that everyone in your house would be deep in slumber whilst you snuck out the back door, but it was definitely better safe than sorry. If you got caught, you would never see him again, and you knew that for certain.
You hadn’t been joking, when you had told Toby that your father would probably fire a bullet at him if he caught sight of you two together.
And even if Toby didn’t leave bloodied, you’d probably be locked away until your parents found someone who they thought was suitable for you. Probably some run of the mill farm boy, the son of one their church friends. A safe, easy option.
Something you were quickly finding out, was not what you wanted.
You had seen how your father treated your mother, and you couldn’t imagine yourself being in her place. He never treated her badly, per se, but more often than not it seemed as if she was a caretaker rather than a wife. Always doting on him. Cooking his meals, washing and ironing his clothes. Wiping the sweat from his brow when he came back from the barn dirtied and cursing under his breath.
Never doing anything that could break the ‘perfect woman’ facade she had created. Always smiling, never complaining, barely ever letting him see her when she wasn’t all done up with her hair perfectly curled.
She seemed happy. But, you don’t think she’d ever let it show if she wasn’t.
You couldn’t imagine a life like that. Always hiding your true emotions for the sake of someone else.
You passed the time at the desk in your room, after changing from your day clothes into your nightgown. A book rested in your hands as you sat by the glow of your lamp, the overhead light switched off to give the illusion that you were also retiring for the night. It was a book you had been delighted to receive, when your father brought it back for you after a trip to the city - but right now, you can barely even focus it.
Your eyes were skimming over the words rather than actually soaking them in - having to reread paragraphs dozens of times because your mind kept wandering. Your foot was bouncing against the wooden flooring, and your fingers were trembling each time you turned a page. So full of anxious energy that you were practically bursting, fidgeting uncontrollably in attempts to relieve some of the jitters.
It wasn’t working, and every time you glanced back at the clock it just got worse. Eight o’clock turned to nine quickly, and nine turned to ten even faster. When you were finally closing your book after somehow managing to force your way through it - it was eleven. And the panic you had been trying to push down was creeping up to rear its head. Leaving you to do nothing but lean your elbows against the surface of your desk, placing your head in your hands as you let out a shaky sigh.
The house had long since gone quiet, only the occasional creak and groan from the shifting supports of your decades old home. Your mind though, was so loud you had barely even noticed. As the clock ticked down your thoughts were increasing in volume, screaming at you from both ends of the argument.
‘If you actually go through with this, every single day with your family will be a constant string of lies.’
‘If you don’t, you’ll lay awake at night wishing you did’
Both sides were incredibly convincing, causing you to fist your fingers in your hair as you attempt to quell the headache you could feel creeping up on you. Your eyebrows were wrinkled together tightly, nails scratching at your scalp as you tug at the stands harshly.
‘If you get caught, you’ll lose any freedoms you’ve accumulated over the years.’
‘If you don’t, it could be the best night of your life.’
“Dammit.” You’re muttering to yourself in a strained whisper, sliding your hands down your face. You squeeze your eyes shut before pressing your fingers into them, so hard they start to ache. “Dammit, dammit-“
You spend a couple more moments breathing out quick, panicked huffs of breath, before pulling your hands away from your face and glancing over at the clock once more.
11:37.
Oh, good lord.
Toby’s probably getting ready to leave. Running a hand through those soft messy locks of his as he does a once over in the mirror. Would he be wearing what you saw him in last, or would he change into something different - something that might impress you more?
Was he putting on a few spritzes of cologne, to cover up the scent of cigarettes you had smelled on him last? Did his hands shake when he did?
Was he just as nervous as you?
You doubted that immensely. Nervousness hadn’t even been an idea swimming in the air for him when he was sat beside you. Encroaching on your personal space like it was his right, weaving a web for you to fall into with all of those smooth words he had spoken. You had been the one on guard, and he was the one who had chipped at your defenses like it was a game.
Pushing you. Seeing how close he could get if you’d let him. Asking you out, probably because he knew the boldness would drain all the air from your lungs. Toying with you. Because you were a timid ball of nerves, and he was anything but.
That was what had pulled you in though. His confidence. His persistence. The want to spend more time with you, so much so that he wasn’t afraid to work for it.
And for someone who had only spent time with people who were obligated to, it was an intoxicating feeling to actually be wanted by someone who could’ve just as easily brushed you off.
By 11:50, your decision is made.
You’re standing from your desk, not even bothering to push the chair in because the scrape of its legs against the wood would be far too loud. You don’t change, not wanting the rattle of your clothes hangers to ring out in the air. As quiet as a mouse. Soft footsteps everywhere you went, with a heart thudding so loudly you were afraid it would give you away.
When you reach your bedroom door, you turn the door knob agonizingly slowly. It took you over a full minute to get it open, not wanting to chance the slightest sound alerting your brother - who slept in the room right next door. Or worse, your father.
You open the door only halfway, knowing how it creaked when you pushed it farther than that. Then, you slip through the gap, tiptoeing with socked feet out into the hallway. You take slow, soft steps, avoiding all of the planks that you knew groaned under weight. One foot after another, legs shaking with each step forwards, you make it through the hallway and down the stairs without so much a single noise to give you away.
You almost feel proud of yourself for it. Almost. Because the guilt was crushing down that thought with heavy hands.
But your excitement, is pushing your forwards. Excitement that had been smothered under the weight of your sins, but was clawing it’s way to the surface with each soft step. It moves you through the living room, into the kitchen, and to the back door even as your hands tremble.
Picking up the sandals by the door, is when it really sets in for you. You take a moment to pause, staring at the lock on the door as you breathe out quivering exhales. And yet, you’re still being pushed even more.
You reach up and turn the lock with your free hand, just as carefully as all of your other movements had been. It squeaks just a little when metal scrapes again each other, a sound that had your whole body freezing.
It wasn’t loud, and you knew that, but it felt like you had damned yourself with that one tiny noise. So you pause, even holding your breath as you wait to hear the sound of your executioner. The rustle of bedsheets, the creak of floorboards under feet. Your father clearing your throat, or Jameson sniffling away his grogginess as he pushed open his bedroom door.
But, none of that happens. The house stays almost eerily quiet. You wonder, if for some strange reason, God was on your side. Endorsing your wrongdoings, just because you wore the image of his son around your neck.
Not wanting to chance it, or give fate an opportunity to change its mind, you take the final step.
Through the back door, closing it behind you gently. Out onto the porch, where you slip your sandals onto your feet. Down the steps, the night summer breeze brushing against your skin. So warm, it doesn’t raise a single goosebump. The air holding a crispness you’ve never gotten to breathe in before.
You don’t think you’ve ever been out this late. Not only because you weren’t allowed to, but because you didn’t have a reason to. Nothing so important that you would take such a risk.
As you walk through the gardens, you realize how much you’ve been missing. The peacefulness that has taken over the entire earth, your surroundings dark as the world lays in slumber around you. When you look upwards, the moon shines brighter than you’ve ever seen it - stars surrounding it like holes punched through a backlit canopy. Crickets chirp in your ears, a sound that you’ve really only been able to take in through the screen of your bedroom window.
They sound louder now. Gracing your ears with the nightly serenade they bring to the air.
Though the trip is the same, it feels so different as you weave through the corn stalks. You were always excited to walk to the willow, but now you were bursting with it - the pace of your walk growing faster and faster, until you’re practically running through the crops with the wind whipping through your hair.
Away from that cage you had been confined to. Into the arms of the person who had helped you pick the lock.
With dirt on the hem of your nightdress, and leaves in your hair, you burst out of the other side. Breathing heavy, eyes near frantic as they dart around looking for him. Shaking not from the cold, but from the intensity of the emotions flowing through your veins.
Your eyes land on the fence before you, then the willow tree behind it - though it’s so dark now you can just barely make out the shape of its branches against the inky sky above. Then, your gaze moves over to the side, and when they land on what you were looking for your pulse reaches a worrying pace.
By the side of the road, a truck is parked. Engine running, yellowing headlights casting a beam of light against the gravel road it’s parked on. Even from the distance you’re at, you can tell it’s a beat up old thing - with a crooked bumper and rust creeping up its doors.
In the drivers seat, you see him. Toby, who hadn’t caught sight of you yet - feet kicked up on the dash as the flick of a lighter illuminates his face in shades of orange and gold. The rest of him, is bathed in the warm glow of the overhead light he has flicked on above him. He’s got those same beat up sneakers on, and it looks like a different pair of jeans, but it’s hard to tell because they’re just as ripped.
The cap his was wearing before is gone, letting you really take in the sight of the fluffy brown hair thar falls in loose curls over his forehead.
You’re struck by the image of him. Even more than you had been the first time.
You can’t help but just stand there for a moment, the breeze tousling your hair as you drink him in with your eyes. And you become more sure than ever, that you made the right decision. The effect that he has on you is one you don’t know how to describe, let alone comprehend. Just looking at him made your blood feel hot, made your heart flutter in your chest.
Made your feet start moving before you even realize it. You hop the fence more fluidly than you ever had, limbs feeling so light and loose you would swear you simply floated over it. When your feet hit the grass on the other side, you’re immediately breaking into a jog. The soft silky fabric of your night grown flowing around your legs, hair pushed off of your face by the wind as you advance on him.
“Toby!” You call out softly, lungs too tight to force your voice any louder.
But he heard you, of course he did.
You watch as his eyebrows shoot upwards, the cigarette in his mouth nearly falling out as his lips part in surprise. Then he’s turning his head, and his lips are stretching into a grin.
A grin, that was a mask for the absolute state of awe you’ve suspended him in.
The moment his eyes landed on you, all of the breath left his lungs - goosebumps immediately raising on the back of his neck and crawling down his spine. He feels his breathing go shakier, feels the heat that starts to bloom on his cheeks.
Because christ, if he thought you were beautiful before…
You were jogging towards him dressed in silk, a material that was loose and flowy - but clung to your body like a second skin as you moved against the grain the wind was blowing in. And he would swear that the moonlight was making you glow. Sharp shadows cast against all of the worst places for his eyes to focus on.
The dip of your collarbones, the swell of your breasts - which moved like liquid with every step you took. The soft curve of your hips, hidden away by just a thin layer of fabric. He could just imagine how it would feel to sink his fingers in deep, moulding your flesh to the shape of his touch. He had to wonder if you knew what a tempting gift you were to him, as you slowed into a walk and came up to the window of his truck.
“Hey, ss-sweet thing.” Toby grins down at you, eyes now locked on that sweet, sweet face of yours. Soft hair framing your features, falling down onto your shoulders so effortlessly elegant. “You made it.” He makes no effort to hide it as his eyes rake over the sight of you, half-lidded, and partially obscured by the smoke trailing from the tip of his lit cigarette. “Th-Thought I told ya’ to wear s-somethin’ warm.”
Just like before, his eyes on you immediately rise goosebumps on the back of your arms. You clear your throat, and cross your arms over your chest in an attempt to look a lot less affected than you truly are.
“It’s not that cold out.” You answer back softly, gaze falling to the way he fiddled with his cigarette between his teeth. Breathing in a lungful of smoke to exhale it through his nose, to which it would waft towards you and cling to your clothes. “Besides, I didn’t wanna risk making too much noise. My brother’s a light sleeper.”
Toby lets out a little hum of acknowledgment at that, before plucking the cigarette from his lips and ashing it out the window of the truck. He’s about to say something, when a sudden jerk of his shoulders cuts him off - the action so sharp it made his fingers go slack in their grip on his smoke. Which ends up falling in the grass right in front of your feet.
Not saying a word, you lean down to pick it up, brushing your hair out of the way as you do so.
When you stand back up fully, you give Toby a little smile, and for some reason he looks redder than before.
“Still lit.” You hum, extending the smouldering cigarette back to him, smoke wafting back towards you due to the way the wind was blowing.
“Y-You can take a hit, if you w-want.” Toby answers back, a sly little grin creeping onto his face. He leans his forearms on the windowsill of the truck door, putting his whole body weight against it as he gazed down at you.
He had a funny little feeling that you’ve never even been offered a cigarette before, and something within him - something sick and self-indulgent - wanted to see it happen. Wanted to watch those pretty lips wrap around the filter, breathing it in and tainting your pure lungs forever.
He wanted you to think of him, every time someone lit up in your presence.
“Oh, I don’t smoke.” You shake your head, quite predictably, and nudge the smoke in his direction with the cutest little pout of your face. “My daddy says it ain’t ladylike.”
Of course he’d say that. Toby thinks to himself, lips pursing a little in annoyance. All these rules and restrictions placed upon you, it was equal parts as pitiful as it was irritating. Your father, your mother - all of them - holding you by your leash even when you venturing so far away from them.
“Well,” He reaches forwards and begrudgingly takes the cigarette back from you. “I think a-anything’s ladylike, if it’s a lady that’s doing it.” He flashes you a cheeky little grin before slotting his smoke back between his teeth and leaning back in his seat. Looking at you, like he knows his words cut deep. Knows that they wriggle under your skin, forcing open a bigger and bigger gap to just let him in.
What was that in his eyes? Pride? You couldn’t quite tell. All you knew, was that it made your limbs feel weak. Body feeling heavy and lungs feeling tight - craving the burn of tobacco for the first time in your entire life.
How did he do it? How did he bend you to his will so easily? Tugging at you like a marionette - pulling the strings, swaying you in the direction he wanted you to be. Curious. Desperate. Naive. Everything you shouldn’t be, around a wolf like him.
Unaware that you were just his type of prey. “C’mon. It’s c-cold out.” He taps the windowsill with his palm, like a beckoning call. “Get in.”
“It’s not cold, Toby.” You roll your eyes. “I think you’re just a wuss.” But, you do oblige. Rounding the front of his vehicle to the passenger side, placing a foot on the sidestep before hauling open the door. It creaks when you pull it open, and thuds loudly when you close it - like it’s groaning out its discomfort.
“Y-You’re calling me a wuss?” Toby snorts, his eyes tracking you as you settle into the seat. Soft silk pooling around your thighs, giving him just the slightest tease of bare skin when you cross one leg over the other. “That’s rich. You’re the one who had a whole existential crisis just ‘cause I w-wanted to take you out.”
Point made, you couldn’t deny that, but you suppose he’d never get it. From what he had told you, Toby had lived a rebellious life. Just doing what he wanted, even if the consequences were grave. Viewing rules as suggestions and warnings as encouragement. He wouldn’t last a day in your shoes.
But then again, would you survive in his? Is that not what you were doing right now? Throwing caution to the wind, like he did every single day?
“You wouldn’t get it.” You roll your eyes, before cutting him a look out of the corner of your eye. “Not everyone can just do anything they want.”
“S-Sure you can.” With curiosity brimming your irises, you watch as Toby leans forwards a bit in his seat to shrug his flannel off of his shoulders. Letting the heavy fabric crumple behind him, revealing just a thin t-shirt beneath it. It wore the logo of a band you had never heard of, frayed at the hems and sleeves. Fitting him loose enough that you could only use your imagination to wonder what may lay beneath it.
Just a glimpse, is all you got. Lean but toned biceps and forearms, skin speckled with scarring and the odd bandage here and there. His freckles extended throughout his whole body, it seemed, with the way they trickled across his collarbones and down his arms. His skin had texture, told a story. Made you want to reach forwards and touch. Run your fingers across all of his scars like they were messages told in braille, read him like a book with just the pads of your fingers.
Oh, christ. Maybe this was a bad idea.
You’re too transfixed to even fully realizing what he’s doing before you feel the weighted warmth of something covering your shoulders. You snap back into the present, and oh. When did he get so close? When had you become draped with his flannel?
He’s mere inches from you now, his cigarette hanging out of the corner of his mouth as his fingers tug the material further over you. Eyes dropped low, not meeting your own. Focused, almost too focused, for the task at hand. “Don’t want you c-catchin’ a chill.” He mutters out softly, but you barely even hear it. He’s too close. Much closer than he had chanced earlier. Close enough that you can feel the heat of his body radiating towards you, close enough that you can feel each of his exhales.
Close enough that he can smell the scent of shampoo wafting off of your hair. Such a soft, sweet scent. So perfectly fitting for a girl like you. Invading his lungs, travelling up to his brain where it coated his entire psyche - muddling his thoughts even more than they already were.
With one last little tug, he pulls away slowly. Almost reluctantly. “Heat doesn’t work in this old thing.” He settles back into his seat, plucking the cigarette out of his mouth and extinguishing it in an ashtray that sat in the cup holder. So nonchalant, so unaffected it was almost enviable.
Were you just overthinking things? Drawing conclusions that had no merit, because he was the first man you had ever let in such close proximity? Was this all normal?
Or, was it just normal to him?
The weight of his flannel is a comfort that just borders on the edge of suffocating. Like a weighted blanket, warmed by his body heat and spritzed with the smell of his natural scent. Slipping your arms through the sleeves felt like a much bigger deal than it probably was. Like it was a watered down version of what it might feel like to be embraced by him.
It makes your skin tingle wherever the fabric touched you. Knowing that it had been touching him, just moments before. “Seatbelt on.” He reaches down to shift the truck into gear, before glancing at you and flashing you a cheeky smile. “C-Can’t go damaging the precious cargo.”
“Stop that.” You huff out immediately, feeling heat rush to your cheeks as you pull the seatbelt over your body. It seemed to come so easy to him, spitting out words that made your breathing go shaky. Barely even having to think about it, before he was stringing together the perfect phrase to make your face go pink. Almost like he had a whole repertoire stashed away.
“Stop what?” Toby laughs, before pressing down on the gas pedal. The sound of gravel crunching accompanied the rumble of his truck’s engine roaring back to life. Pulling off the side of the road, starting down the road and away from your home. No going back now.
You breathe out a shaky little exhale and cross your arms over your chest, pulling Toby’s flannel further over your body. Cocooning yourself in its warmth, letting the scent of his cologne melt away your worries. Even as you glance out the window, and watch the posts in your property’s fence roll by.
You wonder if your mother can sense it. If she’s shifting in her sleep, restless with anxiety because her maternal instincts pick up on the shift in energy. Tossing and turning, because she can feel her connection to you weaken, the further away you go. “Sayin’ stuff like that.” You mutter softly, squinting through the darkness to try and pick out the shapes you’re passing. The corn field, your house, the bridge that stretched across the creek next to your property. “Actin’ like a rodeo clown.”
“Hey!” Toby barks out a laugh, leaving one hand on the wheel so that he can lean to the side and nudge you with his elbow. “Y-You callin’ me a c-clown?” You let out a little giggle and give him a soft shrug, glancing at him out of the corner of your eye.
“If the shoe fits.” You hum, leaning back a little more in your seat. Getting comfortable, letting his inviting demeanour soothe you. The expression he breaks into just makes that easier - completely aghast, dramatically offended. Making it impossible for you not to burst into another fit of giggles.
“Wow.” He huffs, eyes flicking over to observe you for just a moment before he’s looking back to the road. In all honesty, it was pretty difficult to stay focused on the road when he had you sitting beside him - filling the air with the saccharine sound of your laughter, the smile on your face lighting up the darkness the truck was enveloped in. You really could give the sun a run for its money. “Y-You wound me. I’m j-just tryin’ to get you to smile.”
Toby reaches up with his free hand, running through his hair and pushing it out of his eyes. Letting you marvel at how soft and feathery it looked, falling back into place so effortlessly. “Which you are. So, I win.”
In more ways than one. He was winning, just by having you sat next to him right now - snuggled up onto his flannel shirt. A blush on your cheeks, and a smile curving your lips.
“Yeah, yeah.” You laugh softly, rolling your eyes as you lean your head back against the headrest. You tilt your head to the side to watch him, taking in every little movement of his as he drive you through the night. One hand tapping against the shift knob, the other one draped over the steering wheel. Shoulders jerking every once and awhile, and his jaw would clench every time it happened - like he was trying to suppress it.
Gnawing on his bottom lip every now and then, soft brown hair hiding his ears. Which, you learned when he ruffled up the strands, were pierced a couple times. Metal glinting in the light, just a flash of what he kept hidden. You wondered what other secrets he kept, just out of your sight. “Where are you taking me, Toby?”
“Oh, you w-wanna know the itinerary?” He chuckles. “I was hopin’ you be a fan of sur-surprises.”
Maybe you should’ve expected that answer. But regardless, it still makes you roll your eyes.
“I am, I’m just curious.” You hum back to him, gaze dripping down when he shifts the truck into a different gear. The aged metal grinding against each other in a way that almost sounded concerning. “For all I know, you could just be biding time until you decide to kill me or somethin’.” Words uttered out in a joking tone, but there was a bit of truth lying beneath them.
Toby felt safe. His presence was comforting n and his words were effortlessly charming. But, at the end of the day, you didn’t know him. Met him just earlier in the day, and now you were placing a great deal of trust upon him. Letting him take you away, without any of your loved ones knowing you had even left the house.
If he wanted to, he could take advantage of the situation so easily. He could make you disappear, and no one would even ever know he had crossed paths with you.
“You’ve g-got a dark mind.” Toby huffs out a laugh, raising an eyebrow as he glanced over at you. “I can p-promise you, the things I’ve got planned require you being alive.” He lifts his free hand and extends it towards you, letting it find a home resting atop your shoulder. And just like every time before, he feels it when your muscles go rigid just from the simplest touch.
That was alright. He’d get you used to it soon enough. “I-If it makes you feel better, I guess I can s-spoil the surprise.” With the roads so empty, he doesn’t even bother flicking his blinker on before he’s steering the truck around a right turn. “Was gonna show you my house, then I was g-gonna take you for a walk.”
“A walk?” Your eyebrows shoot up. “This late at night?”
“Can’t t-take the truck where I want to show you.” He shrugs, giving your shoulder a little pat before he’s pulling away once more. Leaving a warmed spot in the wake of his touch, like a ghost of his hand. “It’s worth it, I p-promise you. I think you’ll really luh-like it.” He rests his hand back on the shift knob, and meets your eye out of the corner of his. “You trust me?”
Should you, so easily? Definitely not. But, your sense of self-preservation was at an all time low right now. Had been, since you settled into his passenger seat. Had been, since you said yes to him earlier today.
Your curiosity was so intense, it outweighed the apprehension. Clouded over the lingering possibility of danger. And so, you nod.
“Yeah, I trust you.” You answer back to him softly, watching how his lips curl upwards at the sound of those words. How he looks a tad too pleased with himself, before he’s giving you a little nod.
“Good.” He hums, then fully directing his gaze back to the road. He drives for a little while longer, the gaps between conversation filled with the soft hum of the engine, and the sound of tires against gravel. At some point, he turned the radio on, but kept the volume knob turned down low, letting the music just be a soft drone barely audible through all the other noises.
Trees pass, houses pass, and as you glance out the window, you wonder to yourself how far away he’s going to take you. How detached you’ll be from what you know, by the time you’re finally stepping onto sold ground again. “Alright, t-take a look-see.” Toby’s voice snaps you out of your thoughts, and it’s then that you notice the truck has stopped moving.
Parked at the edge of the street again, right in front of a house that you already recognize. You remember when the old residents moved out - an older couple with no kids, that your mother would invite over for tea every now and then. You remember her saying that she was sure they must be lonely, with a big house and no children to fill it.
You remember them being one of the happiest couples you had met. Content with their own company, and nothing more. Looking back on it now, they may have been the catalyst for you wondering if the life your parents lived was the be all end all. If maybe, there were ways to be fulfilled elsewhere.
“That’s your house?” You ask, leaning over the centre console a little to peer out the driver’s side window better. There were differences here and there; a new coat of paint on the shutters, shrubbery planted along the fence posts. An old, 80s era car sits parked out front - just as worse for wear as the truck you sat in was. Tossed on the ground outside the fence is a bike, which you can only assume is Toby’s. It looked like something he’d own, with stickers all the way up and down the frame. “Just you and your parents? Or do you got siblings?”
Toby’s silent for a second, and when your eyes lift to look at his face you notice that his expression has hardened a little. Jaw clenched, eyes glazed over as he gazes out the window.
“I ha-had a-“ A sudden movement makes his jaw crack to the side, startling you a little and making your body jolt. “-a sister.” He admits, voice softer than you’d ever heard it - imbued with the type of hidden sorrow that could only be achieved by someone who had lost a loved one. You immediately feel horrible for asking, like you committed a sin by bringing it up, though you had no way of knowing the weight that question held for him. “She- She died before we moved out there though. A few years back.”
“Toby, I’m sorry-“ You try, but he lifts a hand to silence you.
“Not your f-fault. No way you coulda known.” He lets out a deep sigh before shaking out his shoulders, like he was physically trying to knock off the weight accumulated on his shoulders. “Bet she woulda liked you though. Would always tell me to stay out o-of trouble.”
He glances over at you, and smiles. “And I don’t think you even know the m-meaning of the word.”
“I do.” You hum back to him, holding his gaze as you lean in just a little more - elbows propped up on the centre console. Toby notices the shift immediately, and it takes all the willpower in the world for him to keep his eye up.
“Yeah?” He raises an eyebrow. “What is it then?”
“You.” You feel like you’ve taken a page out of Toby’s book of tricks, with the way that comment has his eyes widening. Stunning him for just a second, enough to make the tips of his ears burn pink. But he regains his composure easily, breaking into a grin and letting out a disbelieving chuckle.
He shakes his head, before leaning to the side to nudge you with his shoulder.
“Cheeky.” He laughs, eyes gleaming as he looks down at you. “I like that.”
He stays leaned close to you like that, just as close as he had been when he had draped his flannel over your shoulders. The smell of him so potent from this distance that it made you feel dizzy. Woodsy cologne, covered up by the scent of cigarette smoke. He’s close enough that it would be so easy, to let this interaction go further.
All you’d have to do is tilt your head upwards, lean in just a little bit more, and then-
You can almost feel yourself doing it. Your body pulled to him like a magnet as he held your gaze - his eyes holding a question that you already knew the answer to, if he were to ask it. Out of the corner of your eye you notice his hand lift, extending out towards you, hesitating for just a moment before he bridges the gap.
He cups your jaw with his palm, barely adding any pressure to his touch. So gentle it’s barely there even there, giving the chance to pull away if you really wanted to. You don’t, even as your pulse picks up to a worrying degree. Thudding so hard in your chest that you’re almost convinced it’s going to bruise your ribs from the inside.
You can’t move, can’t speak - frozen in your spot as you watch his gaze flicker between your eyes and your lips, lingering on the latter for long enough to make your stomach do flips. “You-You’re really pretty, you know that?” Toby asks you softly as he trails his hand up your face, gently tucking a few strands of hair behind your ear. “It’s kind of insane.”
“Don’t… Don’t say that.” You mutter, dropping your gaze down towards your lap.
“Why not?” Toby asks, finally able to get a good look at you, now that you’re not tracking your his every movement. The curve of your lips, how the bottom one trembles when you inhale. The slope of your neck, down to your shoulders - all soft smooth skin that he’d die to get his lips on. Get his teeth sunk into. Mouthwatering cleavage, presented to him so beautifully in the silken fabric of your nightgown, accented by his shirt draped over your body. “It’s true.”
“Because-“ You lift your gaze back upwards, and you’re about to speak, when the little bubble Toby’s brought you into is popped by the sound of a door swinging open.
“Tobias!” A man’s voice hollers through the silent night air, such a stark contrast that it makes you freeze up. Toby, also jolts for a second, before he’s rolling his eyes and pulling away from you - directing his gaze towards the window.
A man in his late 40s is stalking down the driveway, and even from so far away you can tell his lips are tugged down into a scowl. Eyebrows furrowed together, on a beeline towards the truck. “What did I tell you about stealing my truck?”
Oh, that must be Toby’s dad.
“Fuck-“ Toby groans out, immediately shifting back into gear without a second thought. “P-Party’s over, time for the next stop.”
And with that, he’s shifting back in his seat and stepping on the gas - sending the truck lurching forwards with a speed that made you gasp, hands flying to your seatbelt to keep you stable. Gravel kicks up from under the tires as he peels away, not sparing the man behind you a second glance as Toby disappears into the night once more - leaving him in the cloud of dust he left behind.
He looks unfazed by it all, even as you stare at him incredulously - eyes as wide as dinner plates. There’s a flicker of irritation on his face, but you would guess it was only because he got interrupted - not because he was in trouble.
“This is your dad’s truck?” You ask him after you catch your breath, barely able to shake the adrenaline from your bones. You were still moving far faster than you had been before, trees blurring into smeared navy and green shapes. “Thought you said it was yours?”
Toby shifts into a higher gear, before responding.
“S-Semantics.” He shrugs. “It’s my family’s truck, so i-it’s mine by proxy.”
You raise an eyebrow, watching him with a mix of curiosity and awe. Such a blatant disregard for rules and expectations. It was almost… Inspiring.
“I… Don’t think that’s how that works.” You let out a soft laugh and shake your head. “How do you do it?”
“Do what?” The truck pulls off onto a side street, this one so dark that the only lighting comes from the headlights before you.
“Just… Just drive away like that.” You shrug, leaning against the door. “That’s your dad, isn’t it?”
“Yeah.” Toby shrugs. “B-But he’s also a jackass, so it’s warranted.” His fingers tap against the steering wheel to an uneven beat, and you notice then that they look even more worse for wear than they did earlier. The tips of his fingers red and raw, like he had been gnawing the skin off of them. “It won’t end up anywhere anyway.” He speaks up after a few moments. “It’s a cy-cycle. I do shit that pisses him off, he gets mad, so I run off until he’s cooled off enough t-to forget what I even did in the first place.”
The truck finally rumbles to a stop again, and Toby pulls the key out of the ignition before looking over at you. “It’s not that deep. N-None of this shit is. Just do what makes you happy, a-and smooth out the bumps along the way.”
“You make it sound so easy.” You breathe out, nearly in a state of awe as you watch him unbuckle his seatbelt. You mimic the motion, undoing your own with a click that rings through the air.
“That’s be-because it is.” Toby laughs, as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world. Then, he’s swinging open the driver’s side door and sliding out of the seat - feet hitting dirt and grass when they meet the ground.
He stops at the back, pulling open the door to grab something out of the backseat you couldn’t make out. Then, he round the truck and meets you at your door, before pulling it open and extending a hand out to you with a smile. You notice the backpack slung over his shoulder now, causing your brain to whir about with guessing of what it could contain. Of what he had planned. “C’mon, pretty. L-Let me show you.”
You hesitate for just a moment, fingers twitching before you reach out to let him take your hand. Warm, rough, grounding. That’s what it felt like, when Toby’s fingers curled around your hand. Terrifying, exhilarating, and so new. Those were the thoughts running through your head when he started tugging you along with him as he started to walk.
Toby led you through a small forest, if you could even call it that. More so a grove, with the way the trees surrounded you. Not densely packed, just speckled across the land with tall grass and wildflowers blooming in between them. Sparse enough that the light of the moon could filter through the gaps in the leaves, bringing a cool toned light to your surroundings. It was still dark enough to bring a chill of apprehension through your bones, but with Toby’s hand clasping yours so tightly - you didn’t feel vulnerable.
You felt… Safe. Which was weird, considering that you were walking through an unfamiliar place, late at night, with somebody who was barely more than a stranger. “I f-found this spot a few weeks ago, looking for somethin’ interesting around here.”
He takes you out further, swinging your arms as he walked - surrounded by nothing but the sound of his voice, and crickets chirping within the leaves. “It was the most noteworthy thing I found, up until t-today.”
He looks down at you and smiles warmly, eyes glinting in the moonlight like the stars in the sky had migrating to irises. If it weren’t so dark, he’d probably be grinning at the sight of you going pink from his words yet again - but to be honest, he didn’t even need to see it. He could just sense it. “You’ll like it.”
You walk together for a little while, and it is a little colder beneath the leaves, so you’re happy to be wearing Toby’s flannel. Happy to have Toby so close to you, sharing his warmth everytime his shoulder brushed against yours. You don’t know how long the journey truly spanned, time meaning less and less to you with each step you took.
Just this morning, the farther you had ever ventured without your parents was just past the fence posts of your property. Now, you didn’t even know how far away you were. Far enough that you couldn’t go back on your own, that much was for certain. “Ah, here it is.”
Your eyes snap forwards at the sound of Toby’s voice, and once they do, you’re left speechless. Because he was right, you did like it. Loved it, actually.
Stretched out before you, so unsuspecting in the way it was nestled right within this little grove, was a pond that stretch out far into the distance. In the darkness, it seemed to span for eternities - blending in with the shadows, hiding the shoreline on the other side. The moonlight sparkled like diamonds off of the surface, so mystifying you couldn’t tear your eyes away.
So captivating, your body moves before you can even think. Now you’re the one tugging Toby along with you as your feet glide across the grass - barely even remembering to breathe as you’re pulled in closer and closer to the water’s edge. You don’t think you’ve ever seen something so beautiful. Weren’t aware that something this jaw dropping resided so close to your home.
And maybe it wasn’t much, in the grand scheme of things. Maybe it was just a pond. But to you, it was everything. “P-Pretty, right?” Toby hums from beside you, unable to help the smile on his face as he takes in your awestruck expression. “It’s nice during the- the day too, but I think it really shines at night.”
It did. Water so dark it looked like a pool of ink, lily pads and cattails barely illuminated by the moon above. Like something pulled straight from a movie, and Toby had conjured it up right before your eyes.
“It’s…” You can’t even find the words to describe what you’re seeing, what you’re feeling. And so, you just settle on, “Wow.”
Toby lets out a little breathless chuckle, and gives your hand a squeeze.
“Yeah.” He agrees. “Wow.” He shrugs his bag off of his shoulder, letting go of your hand so that he could unzip it. Rifling through it for just a moment, he pulls out a blanket - and shoots you a grin before spreading it out on the ground below the two of you. “Take a seat.” You barely even get time to respond before he’s taking your hand again, pulling you down with him when he does just that. “This is why it’s good to g-get out, y’know? Not just the big things, little things too. Like this.”
You hum in agreement, tearing your eyes away from the pond to look up at his face from where you’re sat beside him. And you find, that he’s already gazing down at you, leaning back on his hands with a soft smile. “You g-get it now?”
“Yeah.” You breathe back to him. “I get it.” You pull your knees up to your chest and let out a breath. “I just… It’s not that I don’t have things I want to do, or sights I want to see. It’s just that it never seemed possible. Felt selfish.”
“Well, being selfish is a g-good thing sometimes.” Toby shrugs, watching you as you shift. How your hair cascades down your shoulder like silk when you move. “What do you want to do?”
“I…” You hesitate for a moment, before scooting a little closer. Letting out a soft exhale, before you test your head against his shoulder. This time, it’s Toby’s turn to tense up for a moment, before he’s going lax - sinking into the feeling of you offering up your closeness. “I’ve always wanted to move away. Out to the city.” You answer back to him softly. “I wonder… If it’s like the movies. Billboards and neon lights. Busy streets and good food on every corner.” You look up to him with a smile. “That’s what I want.”
“I lived in D-Denver, for a while.” Toby hums back to you. “Nothin’ fancy or flashy like you’re probably picturing, but it was way better than th-this place.” He reaches down and pats at the pocket of his jeans, before reaching in and retrieving his lighter along with a pack of smokes. “You could do it, you know.” He opens the carton and taps a cigarette out onto his palm, before setting the carton on the blanket beside him. “Leave this place. I don’t th-think there’s anything stopping you but fear.”
“Not true.” You laugh. “Also money, and a living situation. I can’t just up and leave.”
“You’d figure it out.” Toby slots the cigarette between his teeth, glancing at you out of the corner of his eye before flicking his lighter. “Could g-go ro school somewhere out of state. Get a job waiting tables at some restaurant. Bet you’d g-get a lot of tips.” His smoke ignites, fizzling when the tobacco at the end combusts and transfigures into wisps of smoke. “There’s always a way. Y-You just gotta take the leap.”
He reaches up behind you, before placing his hand on your head and giving your hair an affectionate ruffle. Just an excuse to feel how soft it was. “It doesn’t have to end here, this freedom. And, I’ve g-got a funny feeling you won’t want it to.” His hand slips down the back of your head, before trails across your shoulders. Pulling you in close, finally letting go of the restraint he’d been holding on to with white knuckles. “It’s never enough to just g-get a t-taste.”
His words resonate deep, deep within you. Reigniting all of the hopes and dreams you had buried down so long ago. Sparking up a flame within you, one of hope. One that believed, that he might just be right.
You look up to watch as he takes a drag, cheeks hollowing to pull smoke into his mouth, before he’s exhaling it all in one long exhale. He relaxes even further, a look of serenity om his face when he catches you looking at him. “You sure you don’t want to try it? One hit wont h-hurt.”
And with all the risks you’ve already taken, all of the rules you’ve broken - it feels silly to let this be the like you draw. “I’ll even make it easier for you.” As if you needed more convincing.
“Just one.” You agree, and tilt your head up a little. “I’m not trying to get addicted.”
“Y-You will.” Toby laughs softly. Then, his hand trails across your shoulders, up the expanse of your neck - to find a home cupping your chin. In his wake, a patch of goosebumps rise on your skin, visualizing exactly where he’s touched you. “Open your mouth.”
You’re a tad taken aback by the command, even more so because of Toby’s close proximity, but well - you asked for this, and you were teeming with curiosity on where it would take you. So you do. You part your lips and look up to meet his eyes, waiting patiently for his next move.
You watch as he uses his left hand to bring the cigarette to his lips once more, the ember at the end crackling - casting a golden glow against his face. Then, when is mouth is filled with a thick cloud of smoke, he leans forwards - lips just inches from your own when he exhales.
He didn’t tell you to, but you can just tell that you’re supposed to inhale - stealing the smoke straight from his lips. It’s more intimate than you’ve ever been, closer to someone, than you ever dreamed of getting. Toby’s fingers holding you gently, his hair tickling your face as he breathes life into your lungs.
It burns, which was a given - considering this was your first time - but your curl your fingers into fists as a way to try and negate the urge to cough. It works, just barely, even as your eyes start to water a little as you breathe all the smoke back out in a shaky, stuttering exhale.
And it’s the loveliest sight. Eyes fluttering as you breathe out, lips so plush and pink as the smoke slips past them. You look like sin itself. The sweetest vision, indulging in something so dirty. “Not b-bad.” Toby grins. “You didn’t even c-cough.”
“It’s..” Now you cough, leaning to the side to clear your throat of the thick film of smoke residue that was clinging to it. “It’s still harsh though.”
“Duh.” Toby laughs softly. “But it gets better with time. W-Want another?”
You should say no, considering your previous stipulation, but it’s the easiest thing in the world to concede to all of Toby’s wishes. Especially, when it means you’ll get to be so close to him once more. As close as you could be, without actually touching.
“Yeah.” You lean in again, more relaxed this time now that you know what’s coming. “Give me one more.”
And Toby agrees happily, just itching to get all up in your space once again. He could feel your walls breaking down, letting him in more and more. Closer and closer. Just an arms reach away, from where he wanted you to be.
He repeats the action; taking a drag, pulling you close to him, breathing it all out into your parted lips. Only this time, when you exhale he doesn’t retreat. He stays right where he is, just a few inches from your face, letting the smoke wash over his skin. Smelling sweeter than ever, because it came from your lungs. “You’re a natural.” He murmurs, smoothing his thumb against your jaw. “Knew you h-had it in you.”
It’s just like in the truck. So close it would be a breeze to close the distance. The greatest temptation, staring down at you with the warmest brown eyes your ever seen. Looking at you, like you’re the only woman to ever exist. Like you were special. Toby must be thinking the same thing, because next he says, “I meant it, you know. You’re really f-fuckin’ pretty.”
He shifts a little, leaning his head down minutely - enough to make your heart skip a beat. “Like some sorta angel.”
“Toby…” You mutter sheepishly, barely able to think straight with the combination of his words and the warmth in his eyes. “You.. You’re too much.”
“Am I?” He murmurs back to you. “I’m just c-callin’ it like I see it.” With his other hand, he snuffs out his cigarette against the grass, not breaking your gaze once while he does it. “Prettiest girl I’ve ever seen, and with the sweetest nature to boot.” When his hand comes to rest on your waist, you nearly flinch, but he soothes you with soft circles that he rubs against your skin. Warming you up, breaking down those walls even more. “Somethin’ straight outta my d-dreams.”
You notice how the space between you is slowly disappearing, how he’s getting closer with each word he speaks. You can feel his breath on your lips, his fingers curling into the fabric of your nightgown as he pulls you in closer. There’s a motive behind all of these actions, and you know what it is.
The possibility of it, makes your head spin.
Only when he’s just a hair widths away, does he speak on it. “Can I?” He doesn’t need to clarify, but he does anyway. “Can I kiss you? I really want to.”
And so do you. More than you’ve ever wanted anything, you think. It just seems… Right. Like how you used to fantasize about it when you were a little girl. Underneath the stars with the wind in your hair, held so tenderly by someone who viewed you as gold. Was there a better way, to give away your first kiss?
Was there a better person out there, to take it?
“Yeah.” The word comes out shakier than you want it to, but it can’t be helped. You’re shaking in your boots, brain running a mile a minute as your heart races even faster. The moment you’ve been waiting for, one you thought would never come, right here within your grasp. “Yeah, you can.”
Just what he had been waiting to hear.
Toby moves slow, giving you all the time in the world to back out if you wanted to. But you don’t, you stay still - albeit shaking a little - watching him with the sweetest doe eyes as he closes the distance.
And when he does, it’s more than he could’ve imagined. He gives you the softest, gentlest kiss he can muster up. Just a little peck against your soft lips, smiling to himself when you let out a little squeak of surprise. Absolutely adorable. It’s hard not to want more. “How a-about one more?” He’s asking when he pulls away, and you look so starstruck it’s no surprise that you’re nodding back to him shakily - eyes dazed.
So he does. And then again, when you give him permission. Then again, and again, and again. Peppering your lips with kisses that linger more and more with each one that he plants. Savouring how soft you are, how easily you melt into his grasp. How you just can’t stop shaking, even as you beg for more.
Toby loses count of how many kisses he gives you, but at some point he coaxes you into parting your lips - making you gasp when his tongue kicks into your mouth, hands flying up to grasp at his shirt. He can taste the smoke on your lips, coating your mouth like a film. Walking you through the motions as his grip on your waist pulls you in closer, getting greedier and greedier with each moment that passed.
It was hard to keep a slow pace, even if it was just the two of you for miles, with all the time in the world.
And so, when you start to get the hang of it - your tongue sliding against his sloppily with little moans catching in your throat - he pushes you further. Pressing his body against yours until you’re falling backwards, gasping into his mouth when your back hits the ground. But you don’t pull away, no, you pull him closer - your body buzzing with adrenaline as you reach up to grasp at his shoulders with trembling fingers.
He’s pulling you down further as gently as he can, but he knows deep down that he couldn’t be satisfied with just a little make out session. He needed more, and he’d reckon that you do too. There had to be a reason, that you were bending to his will so easily. He had something you wanted, and he was more than happy to give it to you.
One hand stays cradling your face, but the other rests against your thighs, slowly inching up higher and higher - dragging the fabric of your nightgown upwards with it. Exposing the smooth skin of your thighs to the night air and his touch, not stopping until it was resting in the crease between your hip and leg. So close to your core that you’re jolting, whimpering against his lips before he pulls away to trail kisses down your jawline. Sweet and soft, just like the rest of his touches, but they set you on fire nonetheless.
“T-Toby-“ You murmur softly, breathing quivering as his lips move down lower, down your neck, grazing against your collarbone.
“Mhm?” He mumbles against your skin, pulling away only a little bit, just so that he can look up at you with hazy eyes. “Is it t-too much?”
Maybe. But you wanted more regardless.
“N-No.” You choke out, before taking in a deep breath to try and calm yourself down. You breathe it out slowly, but even then your heart is still racing. “It’s just…” You squirm a little and try to bring your legs together, acutely aware of how his previous actions had hiked the skirt of your nightgown up - so much so that you knew your panties were exposed. “I feel… No one’s ever seen…”
He knew that. And that’s what was making this so magnificent. First to lay eyes on your bare skin, first to touch it. It was like he was going through a checklist, seeing how many of your firsts he could collect tonight. So far, he was on a roll.
“Here.” He leans up a little, and before you can even blink he’s reaching down to grab the hem of his shirt - then he’s peeling it off in one fluid motion, shaking out his hair after and tossing the fabric to the side. “Now we’re e-even.”
Maybe, but he just sent you into even more of a frenzy. So much bare skin to look at now, filling in all of the gaps of what you had been wondering about. Your eyes rage over every muscle, every scar and mole, breathing going more and more ragged the more you drank him in.
If you were shaking before, now you really were, your mind practically short-circuiting from the sight before you.
“Hey.” You’re trembling so much that you know there’s no possible way to hide it, your whole body doused in a suffocating mix of anxiety and a desire you couldn’t quite understand. So lost in your own mind, preemptively running over every worry and concern that it’s hard to bring yourself back to the present. The present, where you lay beneath Toby, sticks pressing into your back through the thin barrier of the blanket below you.
His palm cradling your cheek, is what brings you back down to earth. So warm, so gentle, cupping your face with a firm pressure - tugging you out of the war waging inside your mind. The touch coaxes your eyes back to his - your frantic, glossy eyes, meeting his. He didn’t look nervous at all, not how you were, nothing but an almost pitying warmth brimming his irises. Gazing down at you like you were just a scared little mouse, caught beneath the paw of a lion. “A-Are you scared?”
His hand trails down your face, callouses brushing against your jawline before his thumb presses against your bottom lip. Melting away the tremble you hadn’t been able to stop on your own. “You don’t gotta be.”
“I-I know.” You murmur out back to him, putting all of your focus into the good thoughts, instead of the bad. Like how nice it felt, to be touched by him. How the warmth of his body felt like it was made to meld into yours. How he slotted against you like a puzzle piece falling into place - like he was always meant to be here, with your thighs fallen open around his hips.
The comforting scent of cigarettes and cologne, the softness of his hair as it tickled your skin. It was all so good. Your anxiety was just trying to spin it into something terrifying. Which, wasn’t exactly unwarranted. You had never laid it all bare like this, never letting anyone close to the chance of seeing you like this. You were giving yourself up, everything you could offer him, right here beneath the moonlight. You’d return home as someone different - life splitting into two separate halves. Before Toby, and after him.
You manage to lift a hand, trembling as you cautiously reach up to grasp his bicep. Fingers curling around his arm, gripping onto him like he was the anchor that would keep you from floating too far away from shore. “I just… I’ve never..”
“I know.” Toby’s lips stretch into a soft little smile, his eyes crinkling around the corners. If your mind was a little less foggy, you might’ve been able to pick up on the hint of self-satisfaction that lay hidden behind his irises. But, the adoration that masked it was laid on thick. Too thick for you to see past it, when he was looking at you like you were the only woman he had ever seen.
His head dips down low, nuzzling into the crook of your neck with a sigh, stubble scratching at your soft skin when he parts his lips. Placing the gentlest kiss against your shoulder, soft and slow - letting the feeling linger. “You th-think I’d hurt you?” You feel his lips brush against your skin when he speaks, feel the warmth of his breath fan against you.
You feel his right hand slide from your waist, down lower, slow enough for you to barely notice. Languidly creeping over the curve of your waist, across the swell of your hips, down the expanse of your thigh. Feather light, barely there, but causing more damage than he could ever know.
“I don’t know.” You breathe back to him honestly, your whole body tensing when his touch doesn’t cease. It doesn’t slow down, or speed up, just keeps the same space - mapping out the grooves of your skin beneath the pads of his fingers. “I really don’t know you that well.”
Toby lets out a low chuckle, nosing up your neck and into your hair, breathing in the scent of you deep. Letting it fill his lungs as his hand does finally find a home to rest, right in the crease between your thigh and your hip. Closer to your core than you’ve even ever allowed yourself, teasing in the way he rubs slow circles there - just inches away from his final destination.
“I guess you don’t.” He agrees softly, punctuating his words with a gentle nip to your earlobe. Absolutely relishing in the way you gasp and jolt when he does so. So sensitive, it was unreal. So intoxicating, that any guilt he might’ve felt for going this far was gagged by the intensity of his desire. It was so easy to make you fall apart. Him, armed with knowledge, and you - his little experiment. Graced with the honour, of showing you just how good you could feel if you just gave in. “B-But, you’ve let me get this far. Why?”
Great question. Because you were stupid? Naive? Desperate for companionship? Too curious for your own good? It was probably a teeming mixture of them all, fuelled by a distain for how restricted your life has been up until now. Never getting to choose, always just blindly following orders.
This, was a choice you could make. Something so monumental, it made up for all of the years you had spent shackled. And Toby… He just seemed perfect for it. Showing up in your life like some sort of messenger from god, teaching you that life isn’t just to be lived within the fence posts of your property. Pulling the blindfold off, opening your eyes to everything you could have if you just reached out and took it.
Your saviour, or a devil in disguise? For now, you were content with not knowing the answer.
He felt godly enough to be an angel, sinful enough to be hell spawn. Addictive enough, that you pull him in closer, even as your thighs shake.
“Because I like you.” Mind too hazy to delve into the complexities of your thoughts, you just melt it all down to core of it all. You like him. Liked his low, raspy laugh. Liked how his eyes crinkled up and his cheeks dimpled when he smiled. Liked how he always toed the line between messy, and put together.
Liked how he made you feel. How he gave you freedom. Never told you ‘no’. Just let you indulge in anything your heart could desire. You liked how he made you feel important. Gazing at you every time you spoke, like you were the focal point of his universe.
“Th-That simple, huh?” Toby lets out a gentle laugh, before pulling away a little so that he can look at you once more. So beautiful, it made his gut twist. Bathed in the moonlight, spread out beneath him like an offering. Your nightgown hiked up to your hips, white cotton panties on full display for his eyes to feast on. Still swaddled in his flannel, hair messy and sticking to your forehead with a nervous sweat. Skin flushed. Eyes hazy. Gorgeous. “Well, I like you too.”
He didn’t think it would work. That he’d actually manage to get this far, and now that he had - his mouth was drier than a desert. The calm and collected facade he was maintaining, slowly but surely crumbling apart. Because on the inside, he was buzzing with a mixture of lust and adrenaline - his thoughts foggy, his brain feeling like it had melted into a thick goop. You’re looking up at him like he’s some sort of god, like he’s the answer to all of your troubles.
He wasn’t. Far from it. But he could play the part. “So pretty.” He breathes out in awe, using his free hand to draw a trail in goosebumps from your neck to your chest. Pausing, eyes flickering up to yours for a second, before he takes the plunge.
Cupping your breast with his hand, he gives it a soft squeeze - and when you let out a surprised little moan, he all but crumples. His fantasies had been laughable, no where near as good as the real thing. You were so soft. Just like he knew you’d be, and yet so much better all at the same time. So supple and pliant, just giving way to his touch when he starts to knead the flesh gently.
And the sound of your moan - all quiet and timid - he was sure it would be ingrained in his mind for years to come. Pinging around in his skull, making his already compromised mind go all but blank. You were an absolute dream. Damn near heaven sent, and right now, you were all his.
He did not deserve to get this lucky. “That f-feel good?” He murmurs to you, his voice low and shaky - buckling under the weight of all the effort he’s putting into being as gentle as could be. If he was a worse man, he’d already be fucking you by now, but he really didn’t want to scare you off - and besides, he’d be stupid if he didn’t savour this. He was extremely doubtful, that an opportunity like this one would ever come again.
Toby watches your every little change in expression; how your eyebrows wrinkle together and your eyes squeeze shut, the way you gnaw at your bottom lip to try and quell any more of those sweet little sounds from slipping out. You’re breathing in shaky through your nose, skin painted the most enticing shade of pink, before you give him a little jerky nod. “Ah- I w-wanna hear you say it.” He rolls his thumb over your nipple, grinning when it makes you let out a hiss through your teeth. God, and he’s barely even done anything. Would you even be able to take more, if he gave it to you?
Your eyes flutter open, and christ. You give him the most pitiful look. Bottom lip jutted out in a soft pout, eyebrows pinched together in embarrassment - the blush on your cheeks only growing darker. He’d be lying if he said that he didn’t feel all the blood in his body rush south, just from that look alone. That’s what he’s been wanting to see. You, so helpless, squirming from a mixture of bashfulness and arousal.
And, it just gets better.
“It-“ You swallow thickly and turn your head to the side, trying to avoid his gaze as your breathing grows heavier. Barely able to focus on anything other than the feeling of his touch, kneading your sensitive flesh beneath his palm. “It feels good, Toby.”
“Yeah?” He grins down at you, giving you a firmer squeeze just to watch your jaw clench. Trying so hard to keep as quiet as possible. Too shy to let all those dirty noises spill out into the night air. That was alright, he’d crack you soon enough. “H-Have you ever touched yourself like this before?”
Your gaze shoots over to meet his, and he doesn’t know how it’s possible - but you just get pinker. Absolutely bathed in warmth, heat radiating off of you as you stare up at him - aghast by what he’s just asked you.
“Toby!” You chastise softly in embarrassment, lips tugging down into a little quivering frown. It was becoming more and more clear to you, that your shyness was just egging him on more. Stoking the flame inside him with the heat seeping out of your skin.
“What?” Toby laughs softly, his gaze dropping downwards. “G-Gotta know what I’m workin’ with.” You feel it as his fingers pause, then twitch - obviously contemplating something. Only a few moments later, he’s tugging the neckline of your nightgown down - letting your bare tits spill free. You gasp, and your stomach flips, before you’re letting out a soft little whine and shifting beneath him. More exposed than you’ve ever been, and you don’t even have to meet his eyes again to know exactly what effect that has on the man above you.
You hear it when Toby’s breath catches in your throat, and you can feel it when the bulge in his jeans grows - hard and insistent against your thigh. “F-Fuck-“ Toby all but hisses out, his voice strained and his chest feeling tight. He feels like he can barely breathe, heart beating so loudly he’s half convinced it’s migrated to his ears. Because you’re telling him that he’s the first man to ever lay eyes on tits so perfect? The first to touch them?
He’s got to be the first to taste them too. He barely gives you any time to react before his head is dipping down low - his patience slowly waning with each inch of skin he uncovers. Cupping your bare breast, he captures your nipple in his mouth, and you squeal.
It’s the strangest feeling. His tongue lapping at skin so sensitive, so warm and wet. His fingers kneading the fat of your chest as he sucks on it gently, soft moans rumbling out of his lungs and muffling against you. So insistent, growing less gentle with each moment that passes. His control slipping as desire consumes him, because every inch of you is just so sweet.
And the noises you’re making are even sweeter. Gasped out, shaky little moans - ringing through the air and flooding his ears. Too overwhelmed now that you can’t hold them back anymore, that pit in your stomach becoming more and more prominent every time you let another moan spill free.
You were waging a war. So nervous, but equally as excited. Fighting against the shame - the guilt - because each touch from him was better than the last. So much more than you had ever expected, so much better than what you thought you needed. “I-If you want me to stop, tell me, okay?” Toby’s voice barely even reaches your ears when he pulls away, leaving your chest slick with spit. “S’Getting hard to keep m-myself in check.” His hand on your thigh - which you had honestly forgotten had still been resting there - inches closes to your panties, making it all too clear just exactly what he was getting at. “Just w-wanna touch you all over.”
His other hand drifts down your body and settles on your waist, before he’s meeting your eyes once more. “You gonna let me?”
You were. You don’t even have to think about that question twice. Even with all the nervousness, even with the knowledge that you were taking a dive you could never come back from. You needed this. You needed him. You didn’t want to be the girl you were before - so blissfully ignorant. You wanted to be his.
“Yes.” You breathe out, chest heaving as you gaze up at him. The moon backlighting him, lighting up a sliver halo behind his head. “Please, touch me.”
You could’ve punched him in the gut, and it probably would’ve had the same effect. Your words wind him, all of the air leaving his lungs in a shaky exhale as his grip on your waist tightens. Fingers digging into your skin, possibly harder than he should’ve, but if he didn’t ground himself he thinks he may just fall apart.
Despite the air being so clean and crisp, it feels as if it’s been thickened by smoke when he breathes it in. Those words sound like scripture, the most beautiful plea he’s ever heard - straight from the lips of an angel.
His hand is moving before he can even think, fingers grazing over the shape of your pussy through your panties - absolutely enraptured by the way your hips jolt from the lightest touch. And when he presses them down a little firmer, all rational thought is lost - because they’re wet. Dampened by the arousal seeping out of your core, barely concealing your throbbing cunt. Begging for him, your body was, even as you trembled beneath him.
Coaxing him closer as it enticed him with a slickness that wet the pads of his fingers. So ready for him, all he had to do was take it.
“J-Just relax.” He whispers out to you, though it’s also self-assurance, because he too has started to shake. It’s far from his first time was a woman, but it’s his first time like this. With someone who doesn’t know what to expect, what to feel. Someone he was about to ruin. “Can you do that for me?”
His thumb adds the slightest pressure to your clit, enough to make you gasp, before he’s following that up with some slow circles to get you warmed up and used to it. Nothing too intense, not even peeling your panties off yet, just giving you a taste of what’s to come. “I-I know that feels good.” He’s leaning down to bury his face in your neck again, working you over so gently it would be considered teasing if you weren’t so sensitive. “Just feel it, baby. I-It’ll only get better.”
A shaking hand comes up, threading into his hair and curling into a fist as your lips part and you let out the sweetest little whimper. Pulling him in even closer, encouraging him as his lips part to lave at your skin. Your whole body feels like it’s on fire, a pleasure never before seen creeping up your thighs and settling deep in your gut. Only getting more and more intense every time his fingers rolled against you.
You can barely even think, too consumed with the fact that he was pulling this ecstasy out of you so easily. Hands roaming your body like he knew it better than you did. Maybe he did.
He pinches your clit lightly, and you choke out a surprised moan. He definitely did.
“Toby-“ You gasp as your thighs begin to shake, heat rising to your cheeks as you feel yourself grow wetter - dampening your panties, his fingers, and the insides of your thighs. So embarrassing, but it’s difficult to even worry about that even more. Because your brain has turned to static, your body feeling like jelly - light and tingly, like you’re floating on air.
You’re practically panting, unable to regulate your breathing properly as you struggle for air, feeling suffocated by the intensity of what he’s making you feel. Your fingers tug at his hair harder, your other hand clawing at the ground below you - desperate to find anything to ground you but it’s all futile. You felt like you were getting too hot, whole body feeling restless, that knot in your stomach tying so tight it was hard to withstand. “T-Toby-“ You gasp out nervously, your voice wobbling. “W-Wait- It’s too much-“
Oh, he knew what that meant. Too much? No, not enough, but so close to where he wanted you to be.
“Shh-“ He hushes you softly, gently scraping his teeth against your neck as his fingers double their efforts. More pressure, just a little faster - tight quick circles that make you cry out. “W-What did I tell you? Just feel it. You-You’re alright.”
You let out an absolutely pitiful whine, tears brimming your eyes from this onslaught of pleasure you’ve never encountered before. Hips bucking, abdomen tense, clinging onto him with a grip you’d feel bad about if you didn’t know he couldn’t feel it. Clawing at his scalp as he sucks at your neck, bringing you higher and higher. Stoking that flame and making it burn hotter.
And then-
When you cum, it’s the most glorious sight. Toby has to pull his head out of your shoulder to make sure he gets a good look at it - at the fruits of his labour. You, cumming for the first time, because of him. You let out a moan more beautiful than any of the other ones you’ve let out this far - so unrestrained and pure, ripped from the depths of your lungs as your back arches and your shoulders bow.
Your eyes all but roll back, a whole new wave of slick gushing out of you and soaking your already ruined panties. It’s so intense you forget to breathe for a second, so intense that your vision goes white and your ears ring. It’s nothing like anything you’ve ever felt before, so raw and all-consuming - feeling like every single nerve in your body was firing off at once. “S-See?” Toby doesn’t let up, rubbing you gently through it all to prolong it as long as he can, eyes glued to the image of you falling to pieces beneath him for the first time. He couldn’t wait to make it happen again. “Told you it’s just gonna g-get better.”
Still in a state of bliss, you barely even notice when your panties are tugged off, but the cool air hitting your slick cunt does catch your attention. Immediately, your eyes snap open, still watery as you watch Toby run two fingers against your bare folds. “You trust me?” He asks you, meeting your gaze as he slides them against your slit, gathering up all of that sweet, sweet essence and getting them nice and wet.
It didn’t take a genius to know what he was planning next, especially with eyes so dark - honed in on your blissed out expression like a predator. You swallow thickly, and force yourself to nod. “Yeah?” He hums back to you, teasing your entrance with the tip of one finger - just barely pressing inside, but enough to make your hips kick in surprise. “I made y-you feel good, didn’t I?” Again, you nod. “You gonna let me d-do it again?”
And of course, what else can you do but agree? Gasping for breath as you struggle to keep your eyes open, your whole body set alight by his touch.
So perfect, Toby’s in awe. So perfect, willing, desperate. So his. Melting into a puddle beneath him, staring up at him like he’s a god amongst men. If he had a little bit less restraint, he’d just skip this next part and sink his cock into you instead. The insistent throbbing in his jeans sure wanted that, and he’s this close to just giving in. But god, that look in your eyes. So devoted, like you’re trusting him with your entire life, not just your body.
He’s got to treat you kindly, even if his patience was wearing thin. “Just stay relaxed.” He murmurs softly, circling the tip of his finger around your entrance. “J-Just wanna make you feel good, ‘kay?”
“O-Okay.” You gulp, and force your limbs to lessen up on the tenseness just a little bit. Trying to relax, just like he told you to. Breathing in deep, before letting it all out slowly.
“Atta girl.” Toby smiles down at you, eyes trained on your face as he slowly presses his finger in. Sinking it in slowly, right up to his knuckle, watching the way your nose scrunches up a little in discomfort. So cute. “I-It’ll get better.” He assures you, pulling it out just to press back in again - gently pumping it in and out of your heat. “A-Always does.” You were so tight it was making his brain feel fuzzy. Just taking one finger, but even still. He thinks to himself that even if he had just tried to skip to the good part, he’s not quite sure that it would’ve even worked. He doubted you would’ve been able to take him.
He gets you used to it. Watching as the discomfort slowly melts away, feeling a bolt of excitement go down his spine when he crooks his finger just right and your body arches. Waiting until you’re all relaxed and blissful, before he’s adding another one.
The second finger makes you let out a soft whimper, eyebrows scrunching together all over again as the stretch becomes more noticeable. Such a foreign feeling, you almost want to wriggle away from him, but you know his words must be true. It’s going to get better, and so you endure it until it does.
And oh, he was right. Even quicker than before, the discomfort melts away and the pleasure bears its fangs. Sinking in deep when he curls two fingers inside of you, rubbing right up against that sweet spot he had found before.
Thrusting them in and out of you as he watches from above, his own breathing just growing heavier each time he pulled them out and saw how wet you left them. Absolutely soaking him, your virgin cunt just eagerly taking whatever he was giving you.
He might just be the luckiest man in the world.
He really makes sure you’re ready for it, before he slips in the final finger. Scissoring you open with two, waiting until your whines of pain subside until he’s pushing you a little further. Making sure all the tenseness in your body has faded away, before he’s getting you even fuller.
The third finger has your eyes blowing open wide, your pussy clamping down onto the digits as if trying to push out the intrusion - your hands flying up to grasp at his shoulders to try and stop him.
“Toby- Toby-“ You choke out, gasping for air as your nails scratch at his arms. The other two had been manageable, but this made your stomach twist. This stretch burned, made tears spring to your eyes. “Wait-“
“Too much?” He asks gently, his own breathing ragged as he watches you - sniffling and trembling even though he hasn’t even got past the second knuckle. God, his dick was probably going to make you sob. Was it cruel, that he was looking forwards to that? “Y-You got it, though. I know you can take it:”
You let out a little whimper and shake your head, your vision fuzzing up around the edges a little when he presses just a little deeper. Barely even any movement, and you’re tensing up all over again. “No?” He asks, eyes flicking up to search your face. Your expression is all scrunched up, bottom lip quivering as you take in shaky gasps of air through your nose. He knows he should feel bad - and a part of him does - but you just looked so beautiful it was hard to pay attention to the guilt. “You want me t-to stop then?”
Again, you shake your head, making him immediately raise an eyebrow. “Then what do you w-want me to do here, darlin’? Gotta tell me.”
“Just-“ You take in a slow breath, and try to lessen your death grip on his shoulders - both of you unaware that your nails had broken skin. “Go slow. Please.”
Even slower than he already had been? That’s a bit of a task, but he’s not trying to break you before he even gets inside you, so he listens. He gently lays your body back down - which had sprung up to grasp at him - and blankets it with his own. Using his free hand to massage your tits again as a distraction, leaning down to capture your lips with his when he starts to move again.
He swallows up every little noise you make as he slowly rocks his fingers into you, licking into your mouth to keep you focused on the pleasure rather than the pain. Drinking you in, working you over, keeping you nice and relaxed so that he can finally get completely buried in you. And when he is? He feels it when you melt. Feels it when your body goes completely lax, letting out a languid moan into his mouth once you finally accept the feeling of him stretching you open.
By this point, he’s aching - having ignored his own arousal for so long that he can’t help but rut up against your thigh. His moans mingling with yours from the barely there pressure against his cock. It’s enough to sate him though, when combined with the sounds you make and the feeling of your cunt squeezing around his fingers.
Curling them just right, he feels it when your walls start to flutter. He rubs against your gspot on each pump in, groaning into your mouth when you just get tighter. The hairs on the back of his neck standing up when your moans go higher in pitch. “Toby- D-Don’t stop-“ Oh, you sure loved to beg, didn’t you? It was just second nature. Good thing you sounded so sweet when you did it.
“Y-Yeah? Gonna cum for me again?” He gasps out against your lips, eyes wild with lust when he pulls away minutely - a thin line of spit connecting the two of you for a moment before it breaks. “S-So fucking gorgeous. C’mon, wanna watch you break.”
You grant his wish, cumming for the second time with a force that steals all the air from your lungs. Looking just as beautiful as you did the first time, but feeling even better - the walls of your cunt pulsing around his fingers to the tune of your heartbeat as he continued pumping them into you.
And Toby just can’t take it anymore. He met his limit a long time ago. “Baby-“ He pants as he pulls his fingers from your still twitching pussy, quite literally shaking with desire as he grasps at your thighs - leaving your skin slick with your own release. “You gotta- Please, let me have you.” His turn to beg now, but he was so desperate he could barely think straight. Barely even got the words out before his free hand was flying to his belt buckle. “You-You’ve got no idea how bad I need you.”
You could make a good guess. Toby was trembling and tense all over. The most affected you had ever seen him. Normally he was the composed one, he was the one who sat back and watched as you twisted yourself into a knot. But right now? He was crumbling apart right before your eyes, just as vulnerable - so eager he’s already getting his belt undone with a jingle that rings through the night air.
And this was what you’ve been wanting, right? This was what all of this had been leading up to, what he had been getting you ready for.
It felt so glorious, to be wanted.
You don’t say much, instead just letting your actions speak for themselves. With a blush on your cheeks, you let your legs fall open wider - an invitation. Permission, for him to give you everything, because you were ready to give it all to him. “Christ-“ He chokes out, so starstruck by the display that he fumbles with the button of his jeans for far too long. But, once he figured out how to make his hands work again, they’re tugged down faster than ever before.
You barely get a glimpse at his underwear before he’s pulling those down too, and the sight you’re greeted with next makes you let out an audible noise of surprise. You’ve never actually seen a dick before, but you didn’t need to, to assume that Toby had a nice one.
A trail of fuzz from his belly button trailed down to the main event, so long and thick that it made your eyes widen. Already slick with precum when you watch him reach a hand down to stroke it a few times, his shoulders immediately going lax as a deep groan escapes his mouth. The arousal still lingering within you spiked, despite having already came twice. Because that was a sight that was so dirty, yet so captivating that you just couldn’t tear your eyes away.
Toby, eyes glazed with pleasure, pumping his cock right between your thighs. The moonlight bouncing off of his sweat slick skin, casting shadows against all the right places - making it that much more prominent when his muscles contract with each movement of his wrist. “I-I’ll be gentle, promise.” His voice is low and gravelly, and with how he’s twitching and shaking - you’re not quite sure if you believe that promise. But, you nod anyway.
And you let him, when he slots himself snugly between your legs. Let him grind his length against your slick cunt, gasping every time the head pressed against your clit. Your heart pounding, because now that you could feel it right up against you, you’re wondering how it’s going to work - how all of that is going to fit inside you. His fingers were already a challenge, but this was a whole new beast and you both know it. “Re-Remember what I said.” He’s murmuring out as he reaches down between the two of you, grabbing hold of his length so that he can line up properly and swipe the head against your entrance. “Relax.”
And that’s when it really all dawns on you. The feeling of his cock prodding at you, just barely pressing in, makes it all so real. You’re about to lose your virginity. You’re about to give it all away, to this boy you just met yesterday, while your family sleeps peacefully at home - none the wiser. You’re about to change irreparably, and he’s about to leave a permanent mark.
First date, first kiss, now this. He was taking it all, and you were just letting him.
Should you feel ashamed? “You ready?” You probably should, and yet… You don’t. Because for some reason, you think it was supposed to all play out this way. You believed in fate, sometimes more than you believed in god himself, and so there was a part of you that believed that this was all supposed to happen. You were supposed to go to the willow, and you were supposed to meet Toby there. You were supposed to say yes to meeting him late at night, and so by proxy - it was fated that this would happen too.
You could only hope, that the rest of your journey would be kind.
‘You think I’d hurt you?’ You hoped not. You’d pray to leave all of this unscathed.
But, you also wouldn’t be surprised, if god had abandoned you already.
“I’m ready.” You whisper to him, effectively closing the door on your last chance to back out. Tearing your old self to shreds, when you let him split you open.
Toby nods, silent now that he’s on the brink of tainting you beyond all repair. Knowing deep down, that this is the exact outcome he had been hoping for. You, the purest thing he had ever laid eyes on - sacrificing yourself to someone so rotten. Was he saving you? Severing the ties of your devotion to the life you lived? Or was he just dragging you down to his level? Finding a sick sense of gratification knowing that he was the reason you could no longer ever be what your family wanted of you.
He didn’t know the answer. But even if he did, he’d never tell you.
Slowly, with one hand on your waist, and the other one reaching up to cup your jaw - he nudges his hips forwards. Enveloping the head of his cock in your heat, and having to stop there for a moment for him too, not just you. You were tight. Almost suffocatingly so, wrapping around his length like a vice - making him let out a hiss through gritted teeth. And you, you’re already shaking, breathing going choppy as you try to be good and relax like he had told you to - but it’s hard to, when he’s stretching you open even more than his fingers had.
“G-God, you-“ Toby’s fingers dig into your waist, leaving crescent shaped indents in the soft skin as he tries to steady his breathing. Only once he’s sure you’re not going to burst into tears, does he sink in a little deeper. Then, a little deeper. A little more - relishing in how absolutely unreal you felt around him. So warm and wet, squeezing him with velvety walls that fluttered each time he got another inch buried. Easily, the best he’s ever had, and it’s not even a competition.
Just halfway in, and he feels it - the resistance he had been waiting for. And you’ve been taking it so well so far, but this is going to hurt you, he knows that for certain - even if you don’t. “Hey.” He stills his hips and rubs his thumb against your cheek, gazing into your watery eyes framed by wet lashes. “It’s-It’s gonna hurt for a sec, but then the tough p-part’s over.” He watches as your eyes fill with apprehension, eyebrows furrowing together at his little warning.
You’re already struggling, already shaking from the feeling of him filling you this far, you weren’t quite sure how much more you could take. “Ah, Ah-“ Toby’s hand slides around your head, threading into your hair to cup the back your neck - cradling you like you may just break if he were to add any more pressure. “You’ve been s-so good for me, I know you can take it.” He leans down, pressing a lingering kiss just beneath your ear. “And after, I-I’ll make you feel so good, you won’t even remember the pain.”
It’s so easy to believe him, when his words come out so soft and tender. Weaving around your head like a halo, dissuading the anxiety with each sweet assurance he murmured against your skin. It’s so easy, to just sink into it completely. Relaxing in his hold as you reach up to wrap your arms around him and bury your face in his shoulder. “I-I’ve got you, don’t worry.”
And then he’s moving again, nudging against that barrier within you until it gives way - tearing open a path for him to glide the rest of the way into you. You let out a pained cry that muffled against his shoulder, your grip on him tightening as your arms squeeze him in a near constricting hold. “Shh, shh…”
Toby’s trying to comfort you, he really is, because he knows that you’re going through the wringer. Tears wetting his shoulder as you claw at his back, thighs squeezing around his hips like you’re desperately trying to bring your knees together. But, in all honesty, it’s a little hard to think of the proper words to say. A little hard to think of anything at all.
Because he just felt it. He felt it as he tore your innocence to shreds. Sinking in until his hips met yours, suffocated your pulsing cunt as he gasped into the crook of your neck. It was indescribable, really, the feeling. Not just on the physical realm, but emotionally as well. He had just, effectively, made you his. Sure, you could run off with someone else after this. Go home, get sold off to some farm boy your parents liked better. But he would always know, that he got you first. That you were his, before you were anyone else’s.
That you’d always be his, even if you weren’t. “You-“ He gasps out a breath against your neck, teeth grit as he holds himself still - trying to get used to the feeling of you clenching around him so good. So good, he’s putting almost all of his effort into not shooting his load right then and there. That just wouldn’t be fair, for a lot of reasons. “God, you feel ss-so good.” Gently, he begins to pepper your neck with kisses. Down to your collarbone, nudging his flannel out of the way so that he can lave against your shoulder too. Just letting you really feel it as he rubbed soft circles against your hipbone, soothing and tender - coaxing out the relaxation smothered by the tenseness in your muscles. “You o-okay, darlin’?”
Yes. No. Maybe. You couldn’t begin to describe what you were feeling, because it was something you hadn’t ever even come close to encountering. You felt so full. Stuffed to the brim. Your body was slowly adjusting to it, so the pain was ebbing away, but that feeling? That fulfillment? That stuck around. So overwhelming. All consuming. Mind-numbing, in the way he’s closer to you than anyone else had ever been before.
Nearly suffocating you with his presence. His hands on you, lips on you, cock inside you. His scent, his warmth, his heat. Toby was everywhere. Leaving not a single spot untainted, like he was trying to make sure he had touched upon every inch of your skin. Staking his claim wherever he could.
And it felt wonderful. It was bliss, in the purest sense of the word. Toby cradling you, holding you close as he murmured sweet nothings in your ear. Carding his fingers through your hair, fingernails softly scratching at your scalp. Doing everything he could, to make sure you were alright.
It felt like being cared for.
“I-I’m alright.” You finally manage to get out, sniffling back the last remnants of the tears you had shed. But, he was right. That pain? You could barely even remember it now, and he hadn’t even gotten started yet. “Feels… Feels good.”
You feel it when Toby’s lips curl up into a smile against your skin. Slowly, he lifts his head. Then, he’s using his grip on yours to gently pull you out of the crook of his neck. Getting a good look at you, now that he finally had you right where he wanted you. And, maybe it was hormones, but somehow you seem even prettier than before.
Hair in disarray, fanning out against the blanket below you. Skin flushed and stained with tear tracks. Eyelashes damp and clumping together. Your plump lips were red and bitten raw from a combination of his teeth and your own.
Your once clear, unblemished skin, had a line of hickeys spanning down your neck to your collarbone. Dark red and angry, so vibrant he knew they’d be hell to cover up. For just a second, he has a moment of clarity, realizing that he may have just dug a grave for the both of you with that little stunt.
Ah, well. He’d cross that bridge when he got to it. If your dad wanted to shoot him, he’d take it with arms spread wide open. Because he could be blown to smithereens, and yet he’d still be the winner.
He had already gotten you, whether your parents wanted him to have you or not. Game over.
“Told ya’ it would.” Toby smiles, and it’s then that he nudges his hips forwards just a little more - his expression widening into a wolfish grin when he got to see your eyes go hazy because of it. “I-I’m a lot of things, but I’m n-not a liar.” He leans down, pressing the tip of his nose against yours. “So? Gonna let me g-give you more?”
“Please.” You don’t even think before the word slips off of your tongue. Mind wiped clean, then filled completely with nothing but thoughts of him. Anticipation, for what else he has in store for you. “I wanna…” You look away shyly, gaze darting away when eye contact with him became too much to handle. Especially with what you were about to say next. “I want to be yours.”
Toby hums softly at that, his eyes teeming with warmth as he gazes down at you.
“You w-wanna know what I think?” Slowly, he draw his hips back, his length sliding against your quivering walls until just the tip remained - the sensation causing a shiver to ripple through your body. “I think you already are.” With his forehead pressed to yours, and his hands holding a firm grip on your waist, his hips roll back into you in one fluid motion. Stretching you open around him once more, but this time - it doesn’t hurt. This time, it leaves you breathless.
You can feel every inch of him, hard and throbbing, pressing up against places you didn’t even know existed up until now. “I think,” He repeats the motion again, pulling back just to fill you right back up again - watching how you melted more and more with each thrust in. How your eyes went glassy and your jaw dropped slack, ragged gasps turning into the sweetest moans. “I th-think you have been, since I first saw you.”
And he’s right. You had been. Letting him worm into your mind and make a home there, from the first word you ever heard him speak. He had caught you so easily, it was almost laughable. Throwing out a net laced with charm that made your heart flutter, snaring you within it with the first touch he ever placed upon you. Leaving a little breadcrumb trail to follow, which led you to be right here.
Right here, in his arms, trying to remember how to breathe. “G-God, you feel amazing.” Toby’s head nudges into the crook of your neck, and he’s panting against your skin once he finds a good rhythm. His voice, low and raspy as it reverberates against you, multiplies the swarm of butterflies already fluttering around in your gut.
You want to respond, to tell him that he’s making you feel just as good, but it’s a little difficult to get the words out. You can barely breathe past the moans hiccuping out of you, vision blurry as sinks into your heat over and over again. So good, it was making drool pool in the corners of your lips, especially when the head of his cock was nudging up against the sweet spot inside you. Making your whole body jolt, nails sinking into his skin where you were grasping at his shoulders.
You don’t have to tell him, it’s clear as day. Reduced to such a mess it was nearly pitiful, your body sliding against the blanket below you with each press in. Skin flushed pink all the way down to your tits, which rippled every time his hips met yours. Face wrinkled in pleasure with tears dotting your lash line - gasping, moaning, crying out for more.
An absolute angel. He could practically see the bloody pile of feathers beneath you, from when he had ripped your wings off.
A glint of light catches his attention, and for the first time throughout this whole endeavour his eyes hone in on the one piece of jewelry always hanging around your neck. Always present, like a collar you didn’t own the key to. A golden crucifix, sparkling in the moonlight, shifting against your chest every time your body jolted. The way it caught the light was near blinding, like it was taunting Toby. Forcing him to truly think about what he was doing, right here and now.
But here’s the thing; he knew. He was well aware. The issue was, Toby couldn’t be swayed by the weight of sin. He didn’t even believe that there was a god that tallied it all up. If there was, then that being had damned him before he was even born. Never even giving him a chance to live a normal life like everyone else.
And so even if there was a god, he couldn’t give less of a damn about what was viewed as wrong, and what wasn’t in the eyes of his creator. If anything, he took pleasure in how absolutely abhorrent his actions were. Snatching up a devoted follower, steering her off the right track - just for his own selfish desires.
A false prophet, promising things he could never fulfil.
“T-Toby-“ And you just ate up every single word. You didn’t know any better. So, you’re grabbing at him, crying out his name as his length splits through your heat. Letting him take you apart, just to rebuild you in his image. “I-“ You’re trembling all over, thighs squeezing around his hips like a vice, nails scraping against his skin - sure to leave pink streaks by the morning. Maybe, you’d even draw blood. That was alright, you could scar him up if you wanted to. Leave a mark on him, just how he had done to you.
“Feels good, d-doesn’t it? He drags his tongue up your neck, lapping up all the salty sweat that had accumulated against your skin. When he reaches your jawline, he sinks his teeth into your skin with a sharp nip - adding to the collection of incriminating marks he had already painted you with. “You’re so b-beautiful.”
You gasp when his hips meet yours with a force you hadn’t been expecting, stars speckling your vision as your body arches up towards him. He takes that in stride, wrapping both arms around your torso and pulling you flush to his chest - hips never faltering as he picked up the pace. Face buried in your neck as he stole all the air from your lungs. Teeth scraping, nails scratching, his sweat mixing with yours with each movement he made.
The scent of his cologne muddling the scent of your perfume. Wiping away that pure floral smell and replacing it with something new. With the smell of you becoming his. “Can’t- fuck - Can’t b-believe you’re letting me have you.”
Over and over again, the head of his cock slams against your g-spot, the walls of your cunt tightening up around him more with each press in. He was setting you on fire - no - he was drowning you. Maybe both, somehow, at the same time. “S-So fuckin’ lucky.” He’s got you so overwhelmed that you’ve practically become brainless, incoherent, unable to do anything but just pull him in closer. A snivelling mess of drool and tears as your lungs struggle for air - crying out his name over and over, like a desperate prayer.
Clawing at him like you were trying to tear him to shreds, leaving his back and shoulders with a mosaic of pink and red stripes. Digging in deep, like maybe if you tried hard enough, you could sink your hands under his skin to get even closer.
He let you, if you could. It would be the least he could do, for all that you’ve given him.
“Toby- I can’t-“ You gasp out, eyes squeezing shut when a wave of pleasure sends a jolt of heat throughout your entire body. It’s unrelenting, this ecstasy. So intense that you barely even know what to do with yourself. Grateful for Toby’s arms holding you so tightly, because you were sure you’d crumble to pieces if he wasn’t.
“R-Remember what I said, darlin’.” He doesn’t let up, sinking his cock in right to the hilt on each thrust. Hips smacking against yours, filling the peaceful night air with the sound of skin on skin. So filthy, as is the sticky noise you can hear each time he separates you. It makes your stomach flip, a heady mix of arousal and embarrassment simmering in your veins. “Just feel it. Sh-Show me how good I’m making you feel.”
You can feel his breath against you neck, hot and heavy, strained groans slipping in between his inhales. “I c-can feel it, you know? You’re so close again, aren’t you?”
You nod jerkily, burying your face into his neck as you start to feel the sensation that was becoming familiar to you now. Heat brewing and brewing, tingles sparking up across the entire surface of your skin as that knot in your stomach tied tighter. “That’s right. Don’t gotta hold back. I w-wanna feel you fall apart.”
You were already squeezing him so tight, he was fighting to hold off his own release. All of the muscles in his body so tense, teeth grit as he tries to hold on just a little longer. He wouldn’t tip over the edge until you did first.
But that shouldn’t be too much of a challenge, considering that you were already falling apart right before his eyes.
One arm unfurls from around you to wedge between your two bodies instead. His palm sliding against your slick skin, down your abdomen until it was slipping between your thighs. Finding your clit easily, he rubs a tight circles against it in time with his thrusts. Hellbent on breaking you down completely.
And you do. You sob, thighs trembling with the force of which you’re squeezing his hips when you fall to pieces. Practically convulsing beneath him as you choke and gasp for air, pressing your face deep into the crook of his shoulder. Mouth hung agape, Toby can feel your drool smearing against his skin, but he doesn’t mind in the slightest.
He’s too focused on how glorious your cunt feels when it spasms around him. Sucking him in so tight, pulsing around him to a rhythmic beat - like it was trying to coax out his own release with each dizzying throb. He fucks you through it, not giving you even a second of reprieve even as you start to feel a little lightheaded. Head in the clouds, you barely even register it when his hips start to stutter.
Once, twice, three times his hips meet yours, before he’s pulling out a the last second - groaning deep against your neck as he strokes his cock above your still quivering cunt.
You feel it as his release hits your skin. Splattering against your pelvis and the insides of your thighs. Warm and sticky, the sensation makes you squirm and scrunch your face up, especially when it starts to drip down towards your ass. “H-Hah- Fuck-“ Toby hisses out into the crook of your shoulder, shoulders jerking with each rope of cum that dirties you.
When he’s finally sated, he crumples. Just barely refraining from crushing you as he holds himself up on his elbows, his whole body trembling with the aftershocks of his orgasm. Panting raggedly against your skin, clearly just as winded as you are. “Christ, th-that was good.”
He takes a moment to just breathe you in, trying to calm his racing heart as he nuzzled against your jawline. Planting a soft kiss here and there, stitching you back together with each tender touch. One of his hands smoothes up the side of your body, caressing your curves until it’s sweeping up your neck and finding a home cupping the back of your neck once more. So gentle, you’re already relaxing even though coming back down to earth feels like an impossible feat to you right now. “You okay?”
“Yeah.” You run your hands down his back and take in a deep breath. You can feel the raised welts where your nails had dug in too deep, skin split and torn in a way that had you wincing. Good thing he couldn’t feel it. “Sorry.” You murmur out. “I think… I think I made you bleed.”
“Oh, that’s alright.” Toby chuckles lowly, leaning up so that he can flash you a cheeky grin. His thumb rubs against the side of your neck, right against one of the hickeys he left behind. The skin feeling pebbled under his touch. “At l-least I won’t have any problems hiding them.”
And just like that, he’s made your blood run cold. You hadn’t thought about it at all, when he had been sucking at biting at the sensitive skin of your neck, because it felt too good at the time to realize that maybe there would be consequences from it. Maybe, this secret would be harder to keep than you originally thought.
“What are you talkin’ about?” You ask him softly, voice wobbling. You can feel how sore the skin he’s pressing against is, and now that you’re really starting to pay attention - you’ve come to realize that your neck is actually throbbing. Little stinging patches wherever his teeth had met your skin. “Toby… You didn’t mark me up, did you?”
You ask even though you already know the answer, hoping that maybe you’re just being presumptuous. Praying that he knew he was supposed to be careful, and so he had been.
He hadn’t.
“M-Maybe a little.” He doesn’t look the least bit apologetic. In fact, he looks pleased with himself. Proud, that he’s just damned you. Does he not get it? Not know how absolutely detrimental this is for you? You wouldn’t be able to face your parents like this, you couldn’t face anyone like this. “Couldn’t-Couldn’t help myself.” His hand trails down your neck, that smug little smile staying on his lips the entire time. “I think it’s a good look on you, bein’ a-all messed up.”
Messed up, you were. Still slick with sweat, still feeling the stickiness of his cum on your skin. Dirty. So dirty.
“What’s wrong with you?” You hiss, lips tugging down into a frown as you shift a little - trying to nudge yourself out of his grasp. “Don’t you get it? I’m screwed. If my daddy sees them-“
“Stop worrying a-about your dad.” Toby huffs out in annoyance, resisting the urge to roll his eyes. He finally peels himself away from you, sitting back on his calves as he tucks himself back into his boxers and zips up his jeans. “What’re you gonna do? Just l-live under his thumb for the rest of your life?”
He’s far too nonchalant for your liking, shrugging off your concerns like they weren’t a huge deal. They were. A massive deal, actually, and yet Toby wears the same passive expression as he does his belt back up.
“No, but I can’t just-“ You prop yourself up on your elbows and take in a quivering breath. “If I go back home like this, I’ll probably never step foot outside again.”
“Then don’t.” His neck jerks to the side when he moves to grab his discarded t-shirt, a motion that happens twice more before he’s letting out a little whistle. Like every time something like that’s happened around you, his face scrunches up in embarrassment for a moment before he’s continuing on with what he’s doing.
“What?” You blink up at him, watching as he tugs his shirt back over his head - shaking out his sweaty hair afterwards. “What are you talking about?”
“Don’t go home.” He says it so simply. As if it was an obvious option that you were too stupid to consider. His eyes lift to meet yours, and you feel your pulse quicken. Because his gaze isn’t light and playful, it’s serious - maybe even a little nervous. What he’s saying right now, he means it. And that, might just be the most terrifying thing you’ve encountered tonight. “Stay with me.”
You’re left speechless, sat in a frozen stupor as you wait for him to laugh it all off and tell you that he’s joking. That doesn’t happen though. His expression stays the same, dark eyes glinting in the moonlight.
“Don’t…” Your lungs feel tight, each breath feeling like a chore as you try to fully comprehend what he’s saying. What that offer entails, you could only imagine. But one thing was for sure - it was insane. “You’re nuts. What the hell are you saying?”
“You really want to g-go back to them?” He asks, breaking your gaze to reach into the bag he brought and grab a fistful of napkins. He then leans forwards, using them to gently start wiping away the mess on your skin. “They don’t care about you. I-If they did, they wouldn’t treat you like a dog on a leash.”
He wipes down your thighs, then venturing between them and making you jolt when he cleans up the most sensitive parts of you too. Despite his gentle care, his words still make you frown.
“You don’t know them, Toby.” You mutter, narrowing your eyes a little. He hums softly at that, before crumpling up the dirtied napkins and setting them on the blanket beside him. “You don’t know me.”
Toby raises an eyebrow, his eyes flickering between your still debauched state - dress rumpled, marks up your neck - and your face.
“Don’t I?” He answers back to you lowly. “I-I think I know you better than they do, even if I haven’t known you l-longer.” He reaches forwards, using his index finger to tilt your chin up. “Does your ‘daddy’ even know, that you’ve got dreams of moving out to the city?” Your bottom lip quivers. “Am I right to assume that he’d j-just laugh in your face if you ever told him?”
Yes, he was. That’s why you had always viewed it as a pipe dream, something unobtainable. That is, until you were faced with someone who actually took you seriously. Actually listened, to all of your thoughts and wishes. Encouraged you, made your wildest fantasies seem like real possibilities.
You don’t have to answer. The look in your eyes tells Toby everything. That silent resignation. Knowing that you couldn’t argue, because every rebuttal would be a filthy lie. “They don’t want you to l-live. They want you to be just like them.” He leans down a little, and his gaze is paralyzing. Freezing you into stone where you sat below him. “C-Complacent. Never venturing outside the fence.”
Toby knows he’s being cruel. Asking even more of you even though all you’ve done is give and give and give. He wasn’t even sure what the plan would be, if he convinced you. All he knew, was that he wanted to keep you close - and your family wouldn’t make that possible. They were an iron wall standing between him and you, forcing him to only be able to indulge in you under the cover of darkness.
He wanted you all the time, now that he had gotten a taste. He wanted you every day, every minute.
He wanted to set you free, just to pull you into his arms. “But, it feels nice t-to stretch your legs a little, doesn’t it?”
Again, you couldn’t argue with that. Within the span of just a few hours, Toby had brought you more excitement than you had experienced in your entire life. Never once before had you felt so carefree, so fulfilled. So… Happy. Because for once, you were able to just stop worrying about it all, and give in to everything you’ve been pushing away. Selfishness, impulsivity, ignorance to the consequences.
Is this how Toby lived, every single day? It was such a stark contrast to what you knew was awaiting you at home. A stern, watchful eye. Rules upon rules you could never stack up to. Constantly trying to fit into the mould of the person you were expected to be.
Living for others, not yourself.
“But… What are you saying?” You ask softly, reaching up to tug Toby’s flannel further over your body. “Are you asking me to just run away from it all?” A soft night breeze blows past the two of you, and it’s warm, but it still sends a shiver down your spine. “I can’t…”
“You can.” Toby’s thumb smoothes against your jawline, before his hand trails upwards to tuck a few sweaty strands of hair behind your ear. “I-I’m not saying you have to, I’m just saying that if you want to - if you’re tired of it all,” His hand moves again, this time to brush against your bottom lip softly. “I’d be m-more than happy to take you away.”
He leans down a little more, and you feel his soft curls tickle your forehead before his lips meet the skin there. Placing the softest of kisses, like it was the final step of the spell he was casting upon you. Even if it wasn’t, his next words sure were. “Besides, you said you wanted t-to be mine, didn’t you?”
This wasn’t fair. Not in the slightest. How were you ever supposed to say no to him, when it seemed as if he was offering you the world? How were you supposed to deny him, when his offer seemed to hold no consequences? He made it sound so easy, just leaving everything behind without a second thought. Like he had everything covered, and you wouldn’t have to do so much as lift a finger.
All you had to do, was say yes. Just like before, when he had offered you one night of freedom. You had said yes, and he delivered. Now, he was proposing an entire life of it, it seemed. Would he deliver on that too?
Could he? Or would you be running back into your mother’s arms just a week later, sobbing into her dress because she had been so right all along?
It’s an enormous leap to take, one that could easily leave you tripping up and falling to the pavement. Scraped up knees and bloody palms when you finally drag yourself back home.
And yet,
“Where would we go?” You ask him, gazing up into his eyes from below. Those same deep, dark eyes that had pulled you in from the start. Always so paralyzing, every time you looked into them, because it always seemed like he knew something that you didn’t. Like he knew exactly what words were going to leave your tongue, before you even speak them.
That was because he did. He did, because you gazed up at him like he was your entire universe - the moon, the stars, and everything in between. Looking to him for the answers, because from your perspective, it seemed like he knew everything. So much more than you could ever hope to. It’s what he had been doing from the start - guiding you, holding you by the hand as he pulled you deeper and deeper into the shadows outside of your home. Never letting you worry, because his confidence was enviable.
Asking you to blindly trust him, because the outcome would always be worth it.
It seemed like that was true, so far.
“Anywhere you w-want.” Toby hums, reaching out with his free arm to hook it around your torso - pulling you close to him once more. Finding it absolutely captivating when your cheeks heated up because of it, as if he hadn’t just roamed every inch of your skin. “A-Anywhere your little heart desires. D-Different city, different state. You pick, and I’ll do the driving.”
“You’re insane.” You whisper, your breathing coming out short and shaky. “I.. I don’t have money, we wouldn’t have anywhere to stay.” Your eyebrows furrow together. “You just met me.”
“All true.” Toby chuckles softly as his fingers rub gentle circles against your waist. “B-But, i think we’d figure it out just fine.” His lips curl up into a warm smile. “And yeah, I know I j-just met you - but it only took a few s-seconds for me to realize something.”
He leans forwards, and presses a kiss to your nose, then your cheek, then your jaw - painting a trail all the way to your lips, where he planted a soft peck. “You’re too sweet for this t-town.” He breathes against your lips. “You deserve so much more than what’s b-been planned for you.”
“Yeah?” You murmur back to him. By now, you’ve almost grown accustomed to how rapidly your heart was pounding against your ribcage. It seemed that was just a side effect, of being around Toby. “What do you think I deserve then?”
And that’s such an easy answer, Toby doesn’t even mill over the thought.
“To be free.” His fingers curl into the fabric of your nightgown. “To be l-listened to.” He presses his forehead to yours. “To be encouraged.”
Everything you’ve ever wanted, every desire you’ve kept hidden, offered up to you on a golden platter. So easily obtained, after years of believing they could never be in your grasp. “You deserve to live, and I’ll sh-show you how to. All you have to do, is let me.”
“Toby…” You mutter, looking off to the side. “What if-“
“Ah-“ Toby cuts you off, pinching your chin lightly between two fingers. “N-No ‘what if’s. What do you want to do? What would you do, if you knew there were no c-consequences?”
“But there are consequences.” You huff. You’re trying your very hardest to stay as rational as you can, but with each word that he speaks it seems to be slipping away. You had to force that rebuttal out, and even when you do it tastes bitter on your tongue.
“N-Not-“ Toby’s hand jerks, making his grip on you tighten - eliciting a soft gasp from your lungs. “Not in my books. So, tell me. What do you w-want to do?” You already knew, but it felt like the deadliest sin to speak it. “Do you w-want to go home? ‘Cause I’ll take ya’ home. But don’t come cryin’ to me if you re-regret it.”
You would. You knew you would. Even if, somehow, you managed to keep this little rendezvous a secret. Going home, meant lying every single day of your life. It meant straining to keep up a perfect facade, never knowing when you might slip up and ruin it all.
You had barely survived one dinner with them, even before you had let Toby roam your body like it was his god given right. With so much stacked against you now, you don’t think you’d even be able to look your mother in the eye without spilling your guts right at her feet.
And then, she’d rifle through the carnage with her pretty polished nails - washing off the blood to reveal your transgressions.
You couldn’t do it. You just couldn’t. And you think, that Toby already knew that too.
“I… I don’t.” You breathe out those words so softly, they’re nearly swept away by the night wind. But, with how close Toby is to you, it’s easy for him to grasp onto them before they drift away. “I want… I want to know what else I’ve been missing out on.” You lean into him, chest to chest, swatting away your worries as you eliminate the distance between you. Letting the heat he brings to you, drown out your apprehension. And the smile gives you when your body presses to his? It’s so warm, so appreciative, it’s hard to believe that you were making the wrong decision.
Because no one else has looked at you like that. Only him. “I want you to teach me.”
Toby’s splay against the small of your back, drawing you in closer, helping you shift until you’re practically sat on his lap. He felt like a king, right then. With the prettiest woman he had ever known, sinking into his grasp so easily. Agreeing to be his alone, and he had barely even lifted a finger.
Clearly, the concept of karma had given up on him completely.
“I-I’ll teach you.” He breathes. “Anything you want t-to know. Darlin’, I’ll show you th-the world.” His smile widens into a grin, and he’s letting out a soft disbelieving chuckle. He had gotten so much more than he bargained for with you - his wildest dreams come to life. “Are you saying yes? ‘Cause th-that’s what I’m hearing.”
“Yeah.” You answer back to him, quick enough that you aren’t able to second guess yourself. It felt right. It felt like fate. “Yeah, I’m saying yes.”
You break into a grin that mirrors Toby’s expression, a few giggles of disbelief slipping past your lips before you’re practically launching yourself at him. All but tackling him to the ground with a hug that nearly winded him from the force of it.
But as his back hit the ground, and you toppled on top of him - your hair cascading down like a curtain of silk - he knew that the leap he took was worth it.
And you hope, that the same is true for you.
————————
holyyy shittttt. are we all still alive after that? because I’m not LOL that was a BEAST to both write, and edit
the reason I made it so long is because I didn’t want to split this section of the story up and make you wait for part three just to get to the goody goody
and now you’re saying, ‘noctiva?? part three??’ yes 😌 BUT fair warning and disclaimer, it will not be out for a little while. I haven’t even started writing it yet, all I’ve got is the ideas for it pinging around in my brain. plus, I’ve got a lot of requests to start working through, and my coms open in a week, so sweet thing is gonna be taking the back burner for a little
regardless, thank you all for all of the love I’ve received for this little story of mine. I never expected it to ‘blow up’ I guess? and I never imagined to have so many people anticipating the second part
so! as always, thank you for reading <3
631 notes · View notes
unknownsvoid · 3 months ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
THAT GIRL IS POISON!!!
♬⋆.˚ | now playing: posion - Bell Biv DeVoe
✮⋆˙ | summary: as a succubus, you find this boy with pent-up energy and decide to take it upon yourself to make him your next victim - turns out he's a lot stronger than you anticipated.
✮⋆˙ | featuring: ticci toby/toby rogers.
✮⋆˙ | cw: smut content. succubus reader. reader has red skin, wings, a tail, horns and powers. switch reader and toby. somnophilia content. mentions of blood, scratching, spanking, breeding, aphrodisiacs aka drugging, rapists, incels, abusers, (not reader nor toby). loads of degrading, praise, etc. reader gets called whore, slut, etc. nipple play for toby's part. oral (giving).
✮⋆˙ | author's note: i love writing and sometimes it's good, but today, this is NAWT good. dear lord. word count: 2.5k+
divider cred: @cafekitsune
Tumblr media
Toby. That was his name. Your next victim.
You have had your eye on him for ages. He piqued your interest when you were wandering one night in a forest after having fed on some insignificant man. He didn't last long and was, honestly, quite useless, coming undone all too quickly.
You didn't want to kill anyone that day, but it was either that, or ending up powerless and lazy. So, you consumed his blood, allowing the excess to trickle down your pretty, pink lips. Carelessly, you left his carcass there to decompose in the near future. Apparently, this forest had its dangerous perks, so you doubted any human would venture around anytime soon, unless they were down-right stupid.
You were about to leave when you sensed something. Interested, you decided to investigate the cause – perhaps even identify a culprit. That's when you saw him, Toby, leaning against a tree with hatchets in hand. You concealed yourself behind a nearby tree, careful not to get too close and risk him seeing you. His aura was powerful, causing your legs tremble.
Sheesh. just how pent-up was this human? Sexual energy emanated from him intensely, enough to make one's head spin. Could he be a virgin? No, virgins don't typically exude such energy. Unless he was an unusually pent-up one? Your eyes dipped down to look at his hatchets, dried blood coating them. Animal blood? Is he a hunter? No, the scent was too close to human blood. This human couldn't potentially be a murderer could he? Not that you cared of course. You've encounter many disgusting humans, rapists, abusers, incels, etc. Of course, you were happy enough to kill them if it meant they weren't going to hurt anymore people. He just didn't seem quite the type to... murder someone, not even a bug quite frankly.
Then again, you necessarily can't judge a book by it's cover now, can you? You snap out of your thoughts when he suddenly twitches, repeatedly. You assumed it was due to the cold air. It was a chilly night anyway. Then he twitched again and let out a quick curse. Tourettes? Perhaps. It was rather cute to witness. He let out another sharp curse accompanied by a shaky head movement. You couldn't help but snicker at the slight gesture, which caused him to jolt his head up and stop leaning against the tree. His grip tightened on his hatchets as he glanced around to locate the source of the noise. You immediately jump into action and teleport away from the scene to avoid being caught. You didn't from stop there. His aura had you captivated, obsessed even. After months of research, you discovered that he belonged to a bizarre group of deranged individuals, monsters, or whatever were. He was a procey? prokey? Something along those lines. It turned out your inference was correct; he was a murderer. It was his job. A strange job, but then again, who were you to judge? You fuck people to survive. And another inference of yours was correct, he is a virgin. Perfect, right? And blah, blah, blah. Now you are here. Outside his window, peering in at his sleeping face. He look charming right now. His messy, chestnut-coloured hair in all different positions on his pillow. His lips slightly dry and open to certain degree, letting out soft snores here and there, drool dripping from his mouth because of the gash. His chest heaving.
You use your powers to unlock the window from the inside. Once you hear the click, you push the window open and sneak inside, being as silent as humanly possible (pun intended). You stroll up to his bed and take in his sleeping features once more before letting your powers ensure he remains in a deep sleep. You climb up onto his bed and straddle his hips. You cup his cheek and lean down to crash your lips against his sleeping ones. He tasted so sweet and then aroma of his sexual energy made you feel dizzy already. Your tongue explores his mouth, trying to slip as much saliva into his mouth as possible. You knew how much of an affect it had on people. Your saliva is a exactly like an aphrodisiac, pulling out as much arousal form your victims as much as possible. You pull your lips away from his, watching as your mixed saliva drips from his lips. You look down, a smirk etching onto your lips as you notice that a bulge was forming in his boxers, pushing up against your thong from under your skirt. One kiss and he was already hard? Cute. You feel your arousal also picking up after his so you slowly rocking your hips against his bulge, feeling it pulse and throb against you. Moans slip from your lips. You can practically feel the slick pooling in your panties. You don't stop, instead picking up your speed, rocking your hips against his clothed dick. Your eyes follow back up to look at Toby. His eyebrows crinkled and mouth opened wider than before. Moans leaving his lips as well. You could tell he was close so you stop your ministrations, chuckling softly when a whine slips from him in his sleep.
You shift your position lower until your mouth was right over his clothed dick. You hook your fingers on the band of his boxers and push them down. You gasp at his size of his cock. You were expecting it to be a little smaller. He was girthy and long, very long actually. Seven inches - bare minimum. Your shock swiftly turns into lust and greed. You lift your hand to push the uncircumcised skin covering his tip down. You peel it down until his pretty, bubble gum-tinted tip was in show. A fat blob of pre-cum drips from it, but you don't let it go to waste. Using your finger to scoop up the fluid and then moving it to your lips, sucking it off of your finger. Salty. You move your head down to sink your wet mouth onto his sensitive cock, looking up at him, observing him as he twitches and emits more groans and moans. You sink your mouth down onto him further, letting your jaw rest when his tip comes in contact with the back your throat. Your lips stretched around the girth of his cock before you tighten your lips and bop your head up and down briskly, swirling your tongue around his tip, letting more of his pre-cum drip onto your smooth tongue. You hear his breaths quicken, along with his heart rate. Your tail wags, enjoying the taste of him. After a couple more bops of your head, you peel your mouth off of him to wrap your hand around his sensitive dick. You give his cock slow pumps while flicking your tongue against his tip. You begin to move your tongue a little lower to tease the underside of his tip, pausing when he jolts a tad in his sleep. "Sensitive there, hm?" You say, a rhetorical question he wouldn't be able to answer anyway. You wrap lips back around his tip and keep abusing that g-spot of his. You notice the way his hands lazily grip onto the sheets. Close, aren't you? My mouth feel that good....
You think to yourself before speeding up your hand and tongue, watching his breath hitch and teeth clench slightly before unclenching again and his jaw goes limp. Soon enough, thick ropes of cum bursts into your mouth. You waste no time to lap it all up, swallowing it in multiple gulps, before popping your mouth off his tip and pulling your hand away from the base of his cock. "Still hard? You don't give up do ya', huh, Toby?"
You don't mind honestly, sucking his cock made you soaked. Some of your pussy juices dripping out of your flimsy thong and onto your thighs. You lift yourself up to hover over his cock. The heat coming from your pussy causing his cock pulsate in response. You slip you slip the wet fabric of your thong to the side and you push your pussy down on his cock. A moan comes out of your mouth as you start to glide your cunt up and down his cock, you and Toby sharing a shiver every time your swollen clit comes in contact with his sensitive tip. You lubricate his cock with your juices, slipping your hand down to grip onto his cock to make it easier as you push your hole down onto Toby's cock. A shaky breath falls out falls from your lips when your cunt sucks his tip in ever so easily and then you go down ever further, giving yourself a break when you make it halfway. He gives a nice stretch, you'll give him that, and you haven't even got all of him in yet. You changed that in an instant and give yourself a final push until your pussy slams down onto his cock, taking his cock in its full glory. Your thighs tremble and you adjust to the stretch - drawing your hips up nice and slow before slamming yourself back onto his cock. Pathetic whines leaving Toby's mouth, but you swallow them up with your mouth. Your aphrodisiac-like spit dripping into his mouth. You keep going, but then something peculiar happens. Something that never happened before. You halt your movements and your heart drops to see that his eyes are beginning to flutter open. His eyes stop fluttering and gape open. "Wuh-what the fuck?!" He says, glaring up at you before groaning. He looks down and his face churns in confusion, "Who are you?!" He looks you up and down, drinking up the sight of you. You were pretty, red skin glistering in sweat, horns pointy, wings complimenting your body, and your tail, with a heart at the tip of it, wagging. He gulps down his own spit to deal with his dry throat, a tint of yours still in it, causing his head to go all loopy. You smile nervously down at him and he speaks up again, "What are you?"
"Um... a succubus?" He paused at your answer, looking down again to stare at your pussy gripping onto his cock for dear life. He shrugged, if his virginity was going to be taken by you, a succubus (whatever the fuck that is). He may as well make it worth his time, right? He glared at you once more, clearly not trusting you quite yet, "continue then... slut."
A smirk formed back onto your lips and you oblige, bouncing up and down his cock without warning. His eyes roll to the back of his head and he winces from the sudden pleasure. His mouth falling agape and letting out series of pleasured noises. His tics trigger a bit from the pleasure he was receiving, which makes him to thrust upwards a couple of times, causing his tip to slam up against you. You grip onto chest, running your hands upwards until you reach up to his nipples. You tug and tease at them, while sliding up and down his cock which makes him whimper from the sudden attention. He was close and you could tell. You could feel his sexual energy growing stronger. You move your hands down to scrape your nails across his chest. But then Toby decides to throw you off guard while you weren't paying attention. You didn't even notice when his hands gripped onto your hips. He flips you over so you're both in the missionary position. He wastes no time to fuck his cock in out of your sopping pussy, a white ring forming around the base. His pace was slow, annoyingly so. You wanted him - no need him to go faster. You need his cum; his cum; you need him.
"H-hah... you can- fuck - go faster than that. D-don't be - shit - so shy!" You say with smug grin. His face perked in surprise at your words but he let out a snigger. He clasped down onto your hips, having firm hold on them, "Such a whore."
He sneers once more, "You like that, slut? Being called a whore?"
He takes note to your words and hastens his past, beginning to drive his cock in and out of your cunt. Your sloppy arousal acting as an lube as his hefty cock slams in and out of you, leaving you stunned. His thrusts were extraordinarily hard for a virgin. Speaking of that, how the fuck is this guy a virgin?!
His movements were unexpectedly accurate for a virgin, almost like he isn't a virgin at all. Your arms wrap around him as his menacing cock tormenting your pitiful pussy. His tip was no better, abusing your unfortunate pussy. You weren't thinking straight. Your eyes whirl to the back of your head. God, you were close already. That's a first.
The more his hips move, the more your orgasm reaches closer. You didn't notice he was muttering, probably something about you or him. Your eyes spin back to look up at him, sweat from his forehead dribbles from his forehead and onto your tits, leaving musty droplets on your skin. Brown eyes enjoying the sight of his cock drilling in and out of your sweet, sweet pussy.
"F-fuck! fuh-feel... so guh-good." He manged to get out with many stutters and bemoans. Wails, sighs, grumbles and whimpers of pleasure shared from the both of you fill the room. You were both completely drunk from each other's pleasure. You feel the similar feeling like always when you were about to cum. The tense feel of how how your stomach squeezes. He cries out in pleasure when he feels your pussy compresses around him like a fastened rope.
His flow began to falter and his grip on you was wobbly, delving his nails into your skin, or it feels like that at least. You know that's gonna leave a gnarly bruise on your hips, but totally worth it. The more he moves the more you got closer, but he was leaving you teetering on the edge. You whine and grasp onto his hands that was clenching onto your hip, pulling it away with ease. You guide it towards your clit, guiding his inexperienced fingers to draw slow circles on your clit, "ya close, slu-slut? Each plunge of his hips and soft tweaks against your hardened nub causes you to orgasm. He follows you as well, cumming with you. The intense feeling of your orgasm making your brain go numb and your nails into his back, raking downwards. That's bound to make him bleed. He wasn't paying attention - his head rolled up so you can see his adam's apple. His cock spurting his thick, ward seed deep into your gummy walls. As you both gradually come down from your high, he drags his cock out of your pussy with a pop!
He was about to say something but weakly collapsed onto you - tired. Probably from the energy you drained from him. "Cute..." Was the only thing you could reply with. You could stay for an extra thirty minutes. He deserves it after all. Plus, you could use this as an advantage. Apparently there's more people like him in this shitty mansion...
Tumblr media
part two? -> here ya go!
662 notes · View notes
acexsmhking · 3 months ago
Note
hey back at it again with a "we listen and we don't judge"
Obsessive Toby x Fem!reader But like He was sent to kill someone at a university and decided to just blend in with the school BECAUSE AND ONLY BECAUSE one of the students caught his Eye
she takes him in, introduces him to her friends, bro because basically dependent and doting on her bc not many ppl will just look past his "Flaws"... Then finds out she has a boyfriend, but that just won't do foe Toby
SORRY IF IT'S ULTRA SPECIFIC AND YOU CAN GO AHEAD AND CHANGE WHATEVER YOU LIKE OFC!!!
𝐄𝐟𝐟𝐮𝐥𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞
(𝗻.) 𝗕𝗿𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗿𝗮𝗶𝗱𝗶𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝗯𝗲𝗮𝘂𝘁𝘆
Tumblr media
: ̗̀➛ Toby x FEM!Reader
Summary: University life can be hard; stress, exams, homesickness. So of course, as a good person you didn’t hesitate to befriend a ‘shaken’ schoolmate after a traumatic murder happened. Who knew that your trusted companion was quite the gifted actor?
note: omg whoa! You had me actually biting my phone with this request. Istg I love this. Also sorry I went crazy on this. If you wanna skip the plot I put a halfway marker lol!
Warning(s): 18+ content, AFAB!Reader, p n v! Sex, slight coercion, oral sex (F & M receiving), cheating, long plot, affair plot, stalker behavior, descriptions of gore, descriptions of murder, mentions of blood, unhealthy co-dependency, slight emotional manipulation, lots of drool, biting, cum-play, breath-play.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
The beginning of mid-term had started off.. rough. One of the students, Cole, had been murdered. To say it shook the school was an understatement. The scene had been fully public, with a huge fire burning the corpse and a large proportion of the surrounding area. Multiple other students had been injured, with an additional three losing their lives. The whole school was somber, close friends and even family of the victims seemed completely lifeless. Barely responding or talking to anybody but themselves and each other. Thankfully, the professors had been merciful with dealing out schoolwork. And the Dean had began some light construction around the school for added security and protection.
About two months after the incident, a new student had been introduced to your friend group. A mutual friend of a mutual was all you thought of him at first. But after chatting you and Toby quickly formed a connection, he was so much like you! Same hobbies, likes, dislikes. The bond was immediate and close, and soon enough you welcomed Toby into your closer, inner friend circle. You were accommodating and quick to meet Toby’s needs. Both emotionally and mentally. He had confided in you about a plethora of problems he had, along with how vulnerable he was to bullying.
You were, in your sweet nature, quick to sympathize with him. Offering a shoulder to lean on and a shield from the meaner kids. While bullying didn’t happen too often in university, mostly because of how it drained the souls from people. But you still stayed by Toby’s side. You were inseparable. Toby followed you everywhere. Classes, hang-outs, parties, and shopping. Toby had a small speculation where you lived, but he was unable to find out yet. After.. he had his fun earlier. He saw you in the crowd. You were.. beautiful.
He latched onto you quickly to say it mildly. How could he refute you! He didn’t even know he had an ideal type since he saw you, no no, you were his ideal type. You were his only type. His. Befriending you was simple, you were so sweet and pathetic. The cutest lamm he’d ever saw. And he’s met a lot of people.. well, killed a lot. He was beginning to like this university. Besides the downfall of socializing it had delicious food, and of course, you. You understood him, never even judged him when you told about his problems. The voices, the visions, his tourette’s, hell you didn’t even mind the drool escaping the gnarly hole on his face.
Okay, sure he knew no one bullied him anymore. But he was sure people had! So it was valid.
In the eyes of innocents, Toby was weak. A riddled dog. A sick man. But you reassured him, took care of him. He didn’t even realize how many things he didn’t like eating til you asked him. You’d bring him delicious foods for lunch, breakfast, hell even dinner. About five months had passed since the incident. You and Toby still as close as thieves. You hated to admit it. But Toby was.. cute. No, scratch that, Toby was downright sinful. You realized your tiny ‘passing’ crush on him was growing more and more. You felt awful. Awful how when you smiled it was mostly at him. Laughing was with him, eating, hanging out.
Toby immediately noticed you becoming distant. It felt awful. He tried to remember what Tim told him. ‘Sometimes people just need space for various reasons. Remember to be empathetic and open-minded.’ And he tried! Really tried. He just couldn’t handle it. How you started ignoring his message for longer, side-stepped him for others, or would just bolt the other direction if you saw him. His heart was twisting. He hated it. Hated this feeling. He needed you. You were the only one who understood him, who took care of him. He loved you! Couldn’t you see that? Why were you pushing him away. You both were perfect together.
It was cold today, however even Toby could feel it. Or maybe it was just how rejection felt as he watched you laughing at another friends joke. His eye twitched, knuckles cracking. He wanted to strangle them. No he had to, all of them. Then you’d remember him again, right? Yeah, you probably just felt bad for neglecting all of them. Sein süßes Lamm, such a giver. If they disappeared you’d only have him again. You’d pay attention to him again.
You shivered, it was ass freezing cold. You could feel the biting of winter through your pants. You glanced at Toby, looking him over. He was dressed fairly appropriate, you had managed to beat in a good habit of him dressing well for the weather even if he couldn’t feel it. But you worried. What if he forgot to heat his blanket up, his pajamas? No no, stop it. You can’t fret over him so much. You had to put distance. But it was hard looking at him. He was silent. Hadn’t even made a sound besides popping and cracks. You worried, he was never this verbally silent.
Your heart squeezed. He looked so.. sad, so incredibly depressed. You hadn’t even noticed that look in his eyes, not like you could see them very well. You weren’t standing even nearly as close to him like you would before. If others in the group noticed, they didn’t mention it. The only one you were positive that noticed anything was your best friend. They were your most trusted confidant and you had confided to them about everything. They glanced between you and Toby, offering you a sympathetic smile.
“You okay, Toby? You been oddly silent, hun.” They asked, Toby flinched at the nickname. It was grating. You should be checking on him. Not this idiot. You. He nodded, neck popping as he shuffled his feet. Calm down Toby, she’ll come back soon don’t be rash. He tried reasoning with himself. It was a very, very losing battle. He hadn’t even noticed someone else walking up behind you, not til their arms wrapped around your waist and twirled you around. Toby’s jaw clenched, he could nothing but ringing and grinding of his teeth as he watched.
Why the fuck were the others happy? Why weren’t you pushing them away? Who are they? Who, who, who. You had been completely jolted when Ethan had picked you up. You hadn’t seen him in months! “You miss me, baby?” He smiled, eyes flickering between you and your lips as he held you. You nodded, lip between your teeth as you forced a smile. Arms wrapped around his neck as you kissed him. Was it mean to admit you hadn’t? Not as much, you have Toby. Had.. god why was this hard. Why did you even like him? You had Ethan. Ethan. Not Toby.
Close friends hugged Ethan, saying their hi’s. New friends introducing themselves, everyone expect.. Toby. His fingers were locked, eyes glued to his feet. Your heart sank.. you hadn’t even told him. It’s okay, you tried to reassure. You didn’t tell many people, you liked keeping personal information to yourself and close ones. But Toby was close.. right? He felt like your twin.. that’s what you two always said. No.. you were wrong not to tell him.
“Who are you?” Ethan smiled, cocking his head at Toby. This time, Toby looked up. You shivered at that look in his eyes, they seemed so dead, hallow almost. More than usual. You quickly stepped towards Toby, arm around his side and smiled apologetically at Ethan. “This is Toby, my best friend.” Toby leaned further into you, appearing to shy away from Ethan. Ethan, who just arched a brow gaze flickering between you both. You patted Toby’s back, “He’s very shy, give him a while to warm up to you, babe.” You smiled, hand lingering on Toby just a bit as you peaked on him.
Toby was.. he was as thrilled as he could be. You were touching him!! Touching him after weeks at that, even defended him. That small feeling of victory was quickly squashed when you returned to his arms. Was this what the saying ‘blood boiling’ meant? Because he was feeling it. Probably the worst way possible. He hated how much everyone liked him, how much they teased you both as the afternoon went on. He hated how this nuisance kept trying to talk to him, ‘get to know’ him. All this pest needed to know was go wonder off and die.
‘He has to kill him.’ Toby nodded to himself, yeah if he does, you’ll come back to him. You’ll be back in his arms, laughing at his jokes. Ethan had offered everyone drinks at some bar. Toby shivered, but this was his chance. He couldn’t leave you alone with him. “Toby are you sure you want to come?” You chewed your lips, shifting on your feet. “I don’t want the smell bothering you.” A mumble was all it was. You knew now, most certainly, you had no right to fret over him. Toby just shrugged, pulling his jacket tighter around him as he held your hand.
His smile made your stomach warm, butterflies fluttering. Gods he was pretty. “I’ll be okay-y with you there.” His voice was gentle, thumb rubbing your knuckles. Why were you blushing, what was wrong with you. You nodded hastily almost stumbling away from him to return to the group. Composing yourself as Ethan wrapped his arms around you. Thankfully, the bar seemed to be in a slow night, or maybe just a slow hour, but either way you were grateful. You checked in on Toby every once in a while. A few others doing so as well.
“You’re doing really well, Toby!” Rebecca comforted, playfully punching his shoulder. Toby just smiled, seeming polite, Ethan turned towards him. “Don’t like crowded places?” He asked, a smirk on his lips. Toby shrugged, “Don’t-t like al-alcohol.” He mumbled, eyes meeting Ethan’s in a cold stare. Ethan just nodded, arm on your shoulder tightening. You felt.. stuffy. Usually Ethan’s arms made you feel safe.. so safe. But with Toby here.. you felt dirty. Or maybe cause Ethan was here? No, what did you need to feel guilty about. Your feelings were your own and you never acted on them!
You loved Ethan.
Yeah, you shook your head you loved Ethan. You tried leaning back into him further. But it still didn’t feel right. His scent was weird, it was strong, too strong. The waitress brought a third round of drinks, Toby just asked for more water. Wow, two cups of water. Tim would be proud. Liam, one of the guys, was telling a funny story when a crush interrupted him. Followed by Toby cursing. “Fuh-fuck sorry!” He mumbled, handing Hannah a napkin. He had been doing good almost all damn day about that. Hannah just smiled waving him off. “You’re good! Not your fault.” She said, patting herself down.
There was a nasty ball in your stomach as you watched. You hated how he touched her, fretted over her. Why were you like this? “The hell happened?” Ethan laughed, leaning over a bit. “Sor-rey, just..” Ethan interrupted him, mockingly. “You really are jittery. What some stutter freak?” Your mouth gaped, everyone’s did. You shoved Ethan away, “What the actual hell is wrong with you?” You pushed him again, out of the booth as you shoved your finger against his chest. “What gives you the right to say that?” You shrieked, brows furrowed and shoulders pinned.
Everyone stopped watching you two. Toby was bristling. He didn’t really care, sure he wasn’t actually gonna let that slide but, watching you defend him? His pants were a hell of a lot tighter. That’s right, Ethan had no place in your heart compared to him. “What it was just a joke! ‘M sure he’d gone through worst.” Ethan scoffed, arms crossing as he looked back at Toby. “Right? You don’t care, man.” Toby got out the booth, cold fingers wrapping around your shoulder gently. “It’s-It’s alright, ‘m just gonna head-d out okay?” He smiled, patting your shoulders as he moved past you both.
Your shoulders sank, you didn’t know what to do. Ethan had never said something like that before, not in front of you. How could you let Toby down like this? “Toby! Wait!” You called after him, pushing past Ethan who called after you. You caught with Toby down the street, hand wrapping around his arm. “I’m so sorry about that, I swear if I knew he was like that.. he.. I don’t even know.” You mumbled, hugging him as he faced you. Toby just laughed softly, arms wrapping around you as he patted your back.
Your face nuzzled into his chest, unwilling to admit to it as you took a breath of his scent in. Woody and spice. It didn’t have that artificial scent, it was like he really was rolling around in pinecones and wood earlier. “It’s ok-ay, pretty! Ain’t got-s to be so upset.” He teased, arms squeezing you. You huffed, linking your arms with him as you both continued down to the university. “I really am sorry. I don’t know what the fuck was wrong with him.” You grunted, your feathers were truly ruffled right now! Toby was so sweet, how could your loving Ethan be so cruel to him!
“W-wah-anna spend the night over with me?” He smiled at you sympathetically, sure it hadn’t been the first time since you and Toby had a sleep over. Typically watching nostalgic movies and geeking out. “Umm…” You glanced back, yeah you were mad at Ethan but.. should you really sleep over somewhere else? Oh but those damn puppy dog eyes! Toby’s eyes were just too cute..
Tumblr media
Toby’s place was actually a very good distance away from the university. Tucked in between the dense forests surrounding the area. “Gosh, I still can’t believe you make that drive to university everyday.” You snorted, making sure to politely take your shoes off at the front door. “Seeing you-you makes it a little more worth it.” He boyishly grinned at you, flopping down on his old sofa. You flushed sitting down next to him. Feet tucked under you as you sighed. Toby tilted his head at you, you looked far too cute. Curled in so cutely, clothes hugging you just right.
How long had it been since you’ve been here? Far too long, he missed you. Missed watching you, being able to feel you. Really feel you, as you slept. He hadn’t been able to cum properly the past couple weeks. He needed your skin, your smell. You spoiled him far too much. You two just stared at the other for a while. Basking in the silence as you both admired the other. “I missed you..” He mumbled, an arm reaching out for you, he didn’t immediately pull you in. But you hesitated, shifting in your seat.
“Toby we shouldn’t..” You tried reasoning, convincing. Who? You don’t know. Him? Yourself? Sure, Ethan had been a major jerk but you shouldn’t.. indulge Toby like that, not anymore. Toby’s jaw clenched, he grabbed you faster than you could process. He pinned you to the couch, some his drool leaking onto the spot near your head. Some on your face. You gasped, wiggling a bit under him to release your legs. Caught between the crossfire. “Toby!” You yelped, struggling against him as he pinned your wrists. “Wh-hy do you insist on acting-acting like he matters.” His voice was a rumble, grip bruising as you whimpered.
“Toby! Hurts..” You whimpered, he seemed guilty but didn’t let up on you. “You know-w you should be-should be with me, Lamm.” He intertwined your fingers, leaning close to you. “You said-aid we were perfect!” He growled, you shook your head, squeezing your legs together. You were so desperate to deny him. Anything to cling onto your morals and rules, you had to resist him. “Du süßer Idi-iot. Mach dir keine Sor-gen, ich werde mich um ihn kümmern, Lamm.” He mumbled, releasing you and pushing off.
You held a hand over your heart watching him. He looked.. predatory as he relaxed back onto the couch. After a few seconds he patted his lap, a sweet smile reappearing on his lips. “Come here.” He asked, you hesitatanly obeyed, straddling his waist. His hands rubbed your hips, that sweet smile turning into something sinister. “See? Is it so har-r-d to just be good for me.” He hummed, fingers teasing the hem of your pants, toying with the buttons and zipper. You shifted, the air felt heavy and oppressing. You hated how much his words affected you, how you liked this side of him.
Your fingers tighten their grip on his shirt, hands pressing down on his chest as he undid your pants. He sucked on a breath as his fingers trailed up your side, you were so soft. Your meat.. skin.. flesh.. gods whatever. It made his mouth water. He’d take care of that little Ethan, silent and properly. Quick and clean. You’d never worry about that scum again, you’d be more willing to crawl into his arms.
You felt light-headed as Toby’s hands roamed your skin. His nails racking along your back in a playful gesture, a zap shooting down your spine. Toby leaned up, quickly catching your lips. Thankfully, this time you didn’t try fighting him off. No, in fact you leaned against him, arms wrapping around his neck as you laid your weight on him. Your core was aching, heart fluttering. His lips felt better than you imagined. Shivering as his cold hands ran up and down your back, one hand resting firmly against your nape.
You had not a single thought on you as things grew more headed. All warnings you flung out the window as he undressed you both, you didn’t even care. Didn’t know why you should. This felt right, felt perfect. He was perfect. Perfect as he marked your neck. Perfect as he kissed down your chest, and perfect when the only thing remaining was both your underwear. Feeling the hard press of his cock against your navel.
“Willing to-do something for me, precious?” He teased, his nose rubbing against yours. You nodded, smiling up at him. He gave you one more peak before kneeling down, his fingers hooked on your panties. Slowly he slid them down, smirking at the tiny wet mark on them. Fuck, you smelt heavenly. She smelt heavenly. Like she was calling to him, beckoning him. You giggled as Toby pressed a few, fluttery kisses to your abdomen, just below your belly button. Your fingers playing with unruly curls of his hair.
Toby pressed a big, wet kiss to the front of your cunt. Slowly trailing them across and on your hips before focusing back on her. Your scent was making him dizzy, he could feel himself throbbing. Gently, he pressed his tongue against you, digging the tip just a bit past your lips. You bite your lip at the sound of the moan he released, watching his eyes roll back. “Fuck..” He mumbled, both his thumbs spreading your lips just so slightly. A cute view of your clit making him smile as he looked up at you. Another long, soft drag of his tongue this time making you jolt.
He let out a breathy chuckle before standing back up, pulling you along with him on the coach. “Wanna try some-thing with you-u.” He smirked, quickly taking his boxers off before he helped you onto him. “Umm.. Toby are you sure about this?” You shifted, hands on his thighs and eyes glued to his cock. It was.. massive. Huge. No, almighty. How do you even describe this. It was not unreasonable by any means, nor look grotesque. But it was certainly the largest you’ve ever taken, not to mention the thickest.
Toby had a wolfish grin as the glanced past your ass at you, adjusting his hips a bit more. See, you were laying on Toby, ass in his face. Definitely the most interesting sixty-nine you’ve ever been in. You pulled up a bit more, one hand gripping his length. “Oh, I’m-m definitely sure, Liebe.” He cackled, you had no time for a bratty retort before you felt his tongue. Your head sagged, your hips pushing against him. You tried to focus on his cock, giving him slow and long stripes up to his tip.
Fuck, but he felt so good. Toby ate you out like a feast, nose buried in you as his lips suckled on you. His arms were wrapped tight around your hips, keeping you pressed firmly against him. His lips parted from your briefly as looked towards you, jolting his hips at you. “Beeil dich, La-mm. Sonst hö-r-re ich auf.” He seethed, eyes narrowing at the back of your head. You didn’t need to understand him to understand his tone.
Toby was merciless on you. You both had to of spend an hour like that, he was completely enveloped by you. He loved every little sound you made, feeling the vibration of your moans against his cock. Toby’s cum painted your face as you lazily pumped his cock. “Toby! Please, no more, Love.” You shook your head, pleading with him. Trying to pull away. Toby didn’t fight you this time, letting you crawl off him. He licked his lips, eyes glued to your lower half.
You were a temptress he was sure of it. Your thighs were shaking, eyes teary as you looked at him. Toby walked to the edge of your side the couch, hand shooting down to grab a handful of your hair pulling your face to him. “Little more, Lamm? You skim-mh-ped out on me.” He wheezed, voice raspy as he shoved your face closer. You whined, face still covered in his two previous loads as you took his tip in. Suckling on it as you learned he liked. He sighed, rolling his head back, eyes rolling back.
Your thighs clenched around his arm as his free hand moved to your dripping cunt. Fingers gently just rubbing her and playing with the sticky remnants of your own cum. Your arm wrapped around his hips as the other pumped his cock. You bent down, taking a ball into your mouth. You suckled firmly but not too hard. Toby was losing it, you looked so fucking precious sucking him off. Eyes lidded, face covered in him as you licked and toyed with his balls. “Ju-ust like that, baby.” He sighed, gathering more of your hair out of your face.
You both paused momentarily as a certain ringtone’s muffled tone sang in the room. Your mouth leaving Toby with a pop as you looked to your purse, that you had haphazardly thrown by couch side.
“Toby! Move!” You gasped, pressing against his chest. That look in his eyes.. your cunt fluttered. Thankfully, he let you go, relaxing in your earlier spot as he watched you. You nervously answered the phone, moving further away from Toby. “Where the hell did you go?” Ethan seethed, suddenly the remind of you and Toby’s spends littering your body made you freeze up. “I just.. went to another friend’s place. I’m sorry I swore I thought I turned my location on..” You mumbled, trying your best to sound tired. Had you always been this much of a liar?
Ethan gave you a few more huffs before finally letting you go. Making you promise to get home safely since you refused to let him pick you up. You had quickly washed in Toby’s shower, that he so graciously let you use. He was sitting on the bed when you came out, pair of boxers on. You swallowed, rubbing your thighs together briefly as you hurriedly walked out. Toby stopped you at the door, hesitantly pulling you towards him. And stupidly, you let him. Let him rest his forehead against yours, arms wrapping around your waist.
“Lemme drop y-you off, Sweetie.” He purred, that mischievous glint in his eyes that you knew far too well. You scoffed, laughing as your hands pressed against his chest. Leaning your weight into him, god why was he so… inviting. “Absolutely not, he’d freak if he saw you.” You giggled, you should feel guilty. Horrible. But you just.. couldn’t. “He won’t. Plus, too-too late for an uber. What if something ha-happens?” He chuckled, pressing another kiss against your forehead. You stupidly agreed, thankfully Toby was well-behaved on the drive. Just resting a hand on your thigh as he drove you to your crappy apartment near campus.
Toby pressed a quick kiss to your cheek before you got out. Watching you walk all the way into the building. Only leaving when he lost sight of you. Walking in you glanced at Ethan, who was slouching against the couch. You took off your shoes before moving to the bedroom. “Don’t tell me you’re seriously mad at me.” He sighed, leaning against the doorframe. You scoffed at him, no you weren’t mad. Not anymore. “I want to sleep, Ethan.”
Tumblr media
The next couple weeks were.. tense. Despite Ethan apologizing to Toby, sleeping next to you. You felt this weird.. detachment. You were sure if you just powered through it that everything would be okay, things would go back to normal. The guilt you felt was.. eating you alive to put it lightly. And Toby’s smug little smirks whenever he saw you weren’t helping.
The fact that whenever Ethan pleasured you, all you could think about was Toby. How his cock weighed on your tongue, the taste of his cum. You fantasize how his cock would’ve felt. You hadn’t even dared confide in your bestie about this, you couldn’t tell anyone. You sighed, glancing at your bedroom door. Ethan had been watching TV in the living room, allowing you to watch your own things. A group notification distracted you, drawing your thoughts away as you opened it. Ethan had texted in the group chat.. saying.. he was leaving? Your brows furrowed, leaving? Did he find out?
Your heart nearly dropped out your ass as you stumbled out the room. “Ethan?” You called, turning the corner to look at the couch. He wasn’t there, but the TV was still on? You turned to the kitchen, however something stopped your steps. Slowly you crept to further, hand moving to your mouth as you looked at the horrifying sight. Your back making contact with the corner of the dining table. You shuddered as the figure looming over Ethan slowly stood up.
They crept towards you slowly, hands raised in a seemingly mocking form of surrender. You need to move, run, scream. Anything but you couldn’t. Not as your eyes made contact with Ethan’s dead eyes, blood leaking from his neck. It was so.. dark. So much. Your eyes flickered to the individual, tears brimming as you saw the blood staining their hands. Your breath quickened, the murderer slowly inching more and more. Just as you were about to bolt, they caged you against the table. A startled bark escaping your lips as you raised your arms. Trying to shield yourself from them. But they didn’t hurt you, just loomed over you, fingers digging into the table.
You peaked at them from your hands. They just looked at you, drool leaking from the bars of what you could only call a muzzle. Their neck popped to the side as they leaned in, pressing you further into the table. You heard a rumble in their throat before they grabbed your wrist. You cringed at the feeling of Ethan’s blood on your skin. They dragged you to the bedroom, shoving you towards the bed. You huffed as you fell on the floor, holding on the edge of it.
Watching the masked man carefully as he walked around, you could practically hear your heart pounding in your chest. Watching as he tugged his mask off, pulling the goggles off. “Toby?” You whispered, brows furrowing as you looked at him. Your mind was racing as you watched him stalk towards you before kneeling infront of you. His hand reached out, brushing against your cheek. “What’s wrong, pre-tty? Scared?” You flinched from his hand, tears falling as the weight of everything crashed on you.
“Why.. why would you.” You trailed off, trying to shift further away from him. “I had to, Lamm. He was keep-eping you from me.” He sighed, shaking his head before smiling at you. “It’s alright tho-ho-ugh now, wir können zusammen sein, Liebling.” His hand gripped your throat as he pulled you back up. His lips meeting yours as he brought you to sit on the bed. You couldn’t move, your brain was completely fried. Shock. Fear. How was he expecting you to just accept all this, and yet. You yielded. You let him as he undressed you again, lips trailing down your abdomen.
“I-I don’t think..” You pushed yourself up, Toby settled between your legs as he held your leg. “Hush, Liebe, las-s es einfach sein.” He murmured, helping you wiggle off your shorts, thumb rubbing up and down your slit. “Kein Höschen? Hure.” He gave your cunt a kiss before standing back up, unbuckling his belt. You rubbed your legs together watching him, biting your lip your eyes trailed. He was so.. enticing. No, tempting. You didn’t refuse him as he caged you under him, pressing against him as he brought you into a kiss.
It was claiming, Toby wasn’t gentle as he kissed you, shoving his tongue into your mouth. You gave into him completely, as your legs hooked around his hips. Everything between the two of you was sloppy, the kiss, his cock rubbing against your folds. He clouded you, clouded your mind as two of his fingers rolled and pinched your nipples. A small yelp from you, Toby just laughed at your reaction. Bending down to take one in his mouth, the slow rolling of his hips becoming just a bit faster.
Mesmerized as you watched him, fingers threading through curls. Your cheeks flushed, whining at him, your hips moved in sync with his. Your heart fluttered watching that hazy look in his eyes as he suckled on your breast, able to see his cock grounding into you. Your heel dug deeper into his back, hips jolting. “Frech, Lamm. Want me, baby?” His mouth left your tit with a pop. You nodded furiously, pleading with him to give you what you want. No, need. You needed him. Your moans were deep as he pushed into you, he was so thick. He moved one of your legs to his shoulder, hand moving down to rub your stomach before his thumb rubbed lazy circles on your clit.
You cared for nothing, not when hearing the text notifications, not the ringtones, not even the blood staining your body. No, all you could focus on was Toby’s cock, his fluttery kisses as he pushed into you. Completely transfixed on him. Bottoming out in you, Toby didn’t give you a moment of rest. His pace was desperate, deep guttural moan leaving his lips as he leaned down into you. Your toes curled and your nails dug into his biceps as he fucked into you. Completely taking your breath away, he felt better than you imagined. Everything felt so, so good.
The kisses between the two of you were sloppy, slobber everywhere from Toby. But you didn’t mind, you loved it. You love him, especially as he hit that one spot inside you. Your eyes rolled back, head dangling as your nails held him tighter. “Fuh-ck! Please right there!” You sobbed, eyes brimming again but this time in pleasure. Toby swore under his breath as he held you firmer, keeping himself right in that spot for you. “Du wurdest für mich geschaffen, sie wurde für mich geschaffen.” He swore, looking down at the slick mess you both made, a white ring forming on the base of his cock.
“Du gehörst mir. Nicht diese verdammten Schädlinge.” Your lip quivered, you were so close and that stupid accent of his was driving you up a wall. You tried pulling yourself up to him, or maybe you were pulling him down. You didn’t know, didn’t care, you needed him to kiss you. Toby just cooed at you, how pathetic you looked, perfect little brain dead whore.
You gaped at Toby when he moved out of you, tears rolling down your cheek. The feeling of him burned into your cunt, making your stomach twist in yearning. “Tobs! Gimme, gi-gimme back!” You pleaded, coming out more so as sobs. Toby just hushed you, cock rubbing against you again. “Hush, baby. I’ll giv-v-e it back to you, just wait.” He chuckled, laughing how your eyes were glued to his cock. He wanted you obsessed. Your nails leaving angry red marks all over him as you followed him, your legs straddling his waist as he laid down.
You held onto his shoulders, lips swollen from his kisses and nibbling. Toby thought you looked gorgeous, desperate as you aligned his cock back to your hole. Not even caring about the shake in your thighs as you bounced on him. Blabbering words of praise and want. Toby just watched you, absolutely heart struck feeling you squeeze and take him in. One hand held your back, the other propping him up. The sight of the mirror behind you catching his eye. Fuck. Did you know your ass looked this good? He spread his own legs, hypnotized at the strings of lewd mess connecting you together everytime you moved up.
Seeing it glisten in the light, some of it turning more cream color as you constantly mixed it. His lips moved to your chest giving you sweet kisses, harsh bites. Your hips were beginning to falter, and your thighs ached but you were so desperate for him. “Aww, mein süß-ßes Mädchen. Mach dir keine Sorgen-en, ich werde auf dich aufpassen.” He snickered, tone mocking as he laid back. He pushed you both up further to the bed, feet planted as he held your hips. You slouched against him as he began fucking up into you.
“Yes, yes!” Was all you could babble, drool escaping the corner of your lips and down his shoulder. Toby’s pace was far more brutal than before, his nails for sure leaving marks in your hips. You could feel that familiar coil quickly building itself up. You pushed up on Toby, coming face to face with him. Was it okay to say he looked divine? That look in his eyes was softer, gentler. It made your heart flutter, that look of love. You kissed him softly, savoring the taste of him. Your hands cradling his face as best they could, though really it was the tips of your fingers.
“Love you, s-sweet girl.” He mumbled, your kisses slowly becoming more frenzied as you both got closer and closer. “L-luh-ove you too, loves you so much!” You cried, nails digging back into his shoulders as you felt your orgasm wash over you. Toby held on a bit longer than you, reveling in how you looked. “Look so pret-ty when you cum.” He cooed, kissing the tip of your nose before rolling you both over. Hips hammering into you before stilling as his own orgasm took over. One his hands squeezing your tit, mostly to ground him but also for the feeling.
Toby rolled his hips a bit more, helping you both ride out your highs. The sound he made pulling out of you causing you to hide your face with a groan. Toby just hummed, watching his cum leak out of you with satisfaction. “Don’t think-think there’s a single person that’s cum on a murder-er’s dick so hard.” He wheezed, fingers tightly grabbing your jaw. You shuddered, right… Ethan. You tried closing your legs but they were swore and Toby was far stronger than you as he held them open. “There’s that look, remembering someone?” Your heart skipped a beat, lip wobbling.
“S’okay, love. I’ll make sure you fucking forget about him-m.”
Tumblr media
: ̗̀➛ Guys i fucking swear I didn’t even realize how long this was til like.. halfway through I was just writing. But I am happy with the psychological value of it! I hope you guys are too. I was just really getting into the idea. I love stalker!toby so much, he is bae. Honestly, I did name the ex after my own. Felt therapeutic 🙂‍↕️ Thank you so much for the request Whoa! You have a lovely mind — Ace
510 notes · View notes