#tower of tortles

[thewhimsyturtle]

Happy World Turtle Day! 🥳🐢

This year’s annual tortle tower is an extra special one: Remember when Mom went to Canada back in February and met Waffles and Mango @wafflesworld’s humom (and left me at home)? ✈️🇨🇦 Mom came back with a beautiful new friend crocheted by Alicia herself: Astro the tortoise!* I bonded with Astro instantly! 🐢😍🐢

* Crochet pattern for Astro by the amazing Projectarian! 🧶

[sawtastic-sideblog]

DnD night at the Kramer residence:

Jill: provides snacks and ambiant music, helps make the props and costumes, acts like she's not listening but if secretly taking notes as she does embroidery or something idk, secretly has a high elf druid character called Aria

John: DM, has these elaborate plots planned out for the campaign, tries to be annoyed when things go off the rails, can't because it's actually funny, "it's a team building, strategy game. Work together or perish in the bog of perpetual sadness," if he actually plays he's a tortle cleric called Gideon

Lawrence: secretly stoked that he gets to play again, played as a kid but mom put a stop because its witchcraft and the devil will consume his soul, played in secret, bro is an orc paladin called Sedgewick, he heals people irl and in game, once a doctor always a doctor

Mark: lizardfolk barbarian called Marco, he's very creative, he fights anything he comes into contact with, literally no stopping him when he gets angry, once punched a tree over and killed Amanda's first character, she still hasn't forgive him

Amanda: half elf bard called Lorna, she constantly makes fun of and pranks Marco, has a satchel full of flowers, once helped everyone escape a dungeon by singing lullabys to the guards

Adam: fairy warlock called Thomas, constantly casts fireball, in a great amount of debt to a powerful wizard for a house fire he certainly has no idea how it started don't ask him, on the run from said wizard

Peter: bugbear rogue called Thornax, once has a love spell cast on him by a fey and now everyone calls him Horny Thorny, high stealth level, once killed a high priestess while she was giving a speech to her cult

Logan: sea elf paladin called Ronin, excellent mimic, aided Strahm in his quest to end the high priestess by continuing to address her people while dressed in her robes, married a homeless Tabaxi begger man and runs a nice little farm and bed and breakfast on the banks of a river, swims daily, kinda a siren

William: has had many characters, he doesn't really understand how to play but he's happy to be included, all of his characters die, he has notoriously bad luck with rolls, longest character run was 3 sessions, normally dies early in sessions so he just play npcs and takes half ass notes

Billy: the God of the game, watches from his tower (China cabinet), Jill dresses him up, greatly worshipped throughout the land

[voylitscope]

Stucky Recs: Timeline Jumping, Time Loops, and Alternate Selves

My birthday is this Sunday, so I thought I'd celebrate by sharing some fic recs. I'd like to do a series of these highly themed rec lists, and my birthday week seemed like an ideal week to get started.

So: twelve fics I love that play with time. (I realized I was making this that three of these fics are, at least partially, also Shrinkyclinks fics. Because, you know, time travel. Bonus?)

Note: As part of my personal campaign to combat the persistent idea that every great fic in this fandom was written in 2015, I'm now marking recs of fics written post-2016 and recs of fics written post-Endgame.

Timeline jumping

🌙 After You're Gone | SD_Ryan | Explicit | 7,229 words

A timeline jumping fic that is also both a post-TWS recovery fic and a shrinkyclinks fic. Do you want to read about a fiery pre-war Steve popping up at Avengers tower to the surprise of everyone, including a sad-eyed post-TWS Bucky? Of course you do.

Quote:

He pulls Steve close, palm pressed to the base of knobby spine, rolling them until Steve is on top. He likes the slight weight of him, the easy way Steve spreads his legs around his hips, hands cradling his face while they kiss. He’s got the theory down but doesn’t remember specifics, and he wants Steve to run this show.

The man doesn’t disappoint.

Steve kisses like he’s leading an orchestra, all confident grace and subtle notes of whimsey, playing Barnes in a way that suits them both. Barnes even learns to follow along. It comes back to him in surprising flashes, the way Steve keens when Barnes sucks on his bottom lip, the soft groan drawn out with a scratch of stubble against Steve’s cheek. Muscle memory. History built anew.

🌙Cheat Days | Chicklette | Mature | 2,033 words | *Post-2016 Rec*

A quick read that might make you cry. Perfect for times you're already having feelings about Steve being lonely waking up in a new century.

Summary:

Other times it’s something else  - something more cruel – a joke that he knows Bucky would find hilarious, a movie that Bucky would have loved, a book.  Sometimes Steve is just so goddamned lonely that he feels like he’s going to come out of his skin.  Then he has what he calls a cheat day.  A day when he closes up his apartment and uses the coin, and sighs into Bucky’s embrace. 

🌙Strangers in the Street | Crinklefries | Teen | 15,304 words | **Post-Endgame Recs** |

This fic is so romantic that I don't really know how to handle it. Featuring a Bucky who is doing pretty okay, a Bucky who even makes it back to Brooklyn after the war, but also a Bucky who is achingly lonely — except during those brief moments in time, every five years, when Steve pops into his life.

Quote:

Steve says nothing. He lifts both dog tags to his mouth, presses a kiss or a blessing to them, and tucks them back against Bucky’s chest.

Steve leans forward to kiss him again and this time, he hasn’t even pulled away before Bucky is left aching for more.

Between one breath and the other, Steve leaves him. Bucky doesn’t see him go, but he feels him disappear. When he opens his eyes, it’s just him on his cot, with the lamp flickering in the empty quiet of his tent. Bucky takes in a hard, painful breath, and then, with devastation, presses his palms into his eyes until, eventually, he stops feeling Steve’s hands carefully worshipping his tired body.

🌙the time that's slipping | its_tortle @its-tortle | Teen | 4,585 words | **Post-Endgame Recs**

Listen, I just really think we all, as a fandom, need to read about Steve going back in time to talk to his mom about everything that's happened to him. I know I needed this fic in my life. Steve and Sarah's relationship in this fic is gorgeous and perfect, and their conversation feels so important.

Quote:

“Steven,” she says quickly. “No. Listen to me.”

His Ma sits up in her bed a little further, ignoring the way he reaches out to steady her. There’s a sudden urgency to her movements, a determined passion pumping energy through her tired bones. Her big blue eyes are alight with the fire Steve knows he himself inherited.

“Mo stór,” she starts. “You have the biggest, bravest, and most beautiful heart anyone could ever dream up. It’s not perfect, none is, but if there’s one thing I know it’s that it’s good. That it loves in its entirety and always stands up for what it believes in. If you followed your heart, Steve, you made all the right calls.”

🌙It remembers you | often_adamanta | Teen | 13,585 words

This one is: Timeline jumping, Post-TWS recovery, Shrinkyclinks, and Pre-war. Yes. All of that. Featuring the very most endearing pre-war Steve handling a traumatized and barely post-TWS Bucky in the sweetest way possible. Also featuring a pre-war Bucky who keeps going, "Steve, what the hell do you mean it's completely fine for this guy, who has my face, to just come into our apartment while we sleep? That's terrifying???" And a post-TWS Bucky who keeps saying things like, "You definitely shouldn't trust me because I am dangerous, but also I think when I was that guy you live with I was in love with you? But also I was never him. But also I brought you this bread? Wow, you're so good at art. I'm terrible and scary. You should tell me to leave. Oh hey, that cat on the fire escape is so pretty." This fic is so very darling.

Quote:

James yanks the earpiece out as quickly as he can with his unsteady hand, gripping it tightly in a fist against his chest. He can’t listen to Steve say good things about him, especially since they aren’t true. He can’t listen to Steve list all the ways he’s failed, the ways he’s not Bucky. He just can’t listen anymore.

When he goes to find food that night, he goes out even farther than usual. For the first time, he takes something with him that might be missed: a single glass tumbler, heavy and cold in his hand.

Steve and Bucky are sleeping in the main room, one of the mattresses pulled onto the floor so that they can curl up together. It makes it harder to move around the small room, but he sets the glass next to the sink in the kitchen and leaves again without waking them.

He puts the earpiece in when he returns to his spot across the street, able to rest easy knowing they’re safe, Steve’s head pillowed on Bucky’s chest as he drooled and kept Steve close with an arm around his waist.

🌙to memory now I can't recall | Etharei | Explicit | 102,600 words

A WW II Bucky and a post-TWS Bucky switch places, and two storylines take place. This fic will break your heart approximately twenty times. This fic, like a lot of fics on this list, follows rules of time travel that actually make sense, so WW II Bucky's actions in the future and post-TWS Bucky's actions in the past directly affect each other. They both know this the whole time, and they each know that they are the other and that they will be switching back. So, in a lot of ways, this fic is about Bucky's relationship with himself — about Bucky reconciling who he is before and after Hydra. It's honestly stunning.

Quote:

Steve's fingers twitch hard against his palm. Steve's face can occasionally manage to remain impassive when he's lying; it's a real pity he has about two dozen other tells.

Bucky stares at him. Steve practically flinches, at the same time as his grip on Bucky's hand tightens to the point of pain. Bucky feels like something is carving a chunk out of his insides.

"I died," he says, quietly. "Oh, Stevie. I died on you, didn't I? In the war?"

🌙wash the blood from your bony fingers |  newsbypostcard | Teen | 63,134 words

You know how sometimes it's 2018 and you think a Hydra operative has de-aged your longtime super soldier boyfriend, except, surprise! It's actually that weird comic-science time travel has transported the younger version of your boyfriend out of 1936(and you guys hadn't talked about feelings yet in 1936)? And being the human that he is, the 1936 version of your boyfriend doesn't understand why, as a 5'4, 18-year-old, with asthma and a dozen other health conditions, it's not the best idea for him to immediately charge into battle as an Avenger or to, very literally, climb into your lap? Yeah, Bucky is facing some serious challenges here, okay? And that is just during the first chapter of this fic.

Quote:

"Why would you…" He gestures at himself, coughs out a laugh, and looks at Bucky with the kind of pure vulnerability that always knocks him flat. "Bucky, come on. Why would you…?"

Bucky feels the tension drag out of him, ebbing away into sympathy. "Come on, Rogers," Bucky says, softer than he'd like. "You know better than that. You're -- you're a force of fucking nature." He gives a fragile smile and swallows; clasps his hands together, nerves clustered in his throat. "There's nowhere you could go that I wouldn't follow, just to watch you try to take on the world. Including the future, apparently, god help us both."

🌙The Kinder Thing | Stele3 | Mature | 27,474 words | *Post-2016 Recs*

I don't think I've ever been as surprised by a fic as I was by this one. This fic does have all the things the tags and summary say it will. There very much is, of course, time travel! There absolutely is an age difference going on here — for most of the fic, anyway — because of the time travel! But, at its heart, this fic is about how there is literally nothing that can keep these two apart. It's shockingly beautiful.

Quote:

Bucky peers up at Steve through his eyelashes. “And how much longer have you got?”

Steve has no answer for that, either, and so he pulls Bucky into the bedroom. If this were someone else, he’d be barking at them to get their head on straight, he’s on a fucking mission right now, but all of that fades into the feel of his fingers skimming over Bucky’s chest as he pulls his shirt out of his trousers. It used to frustrate the hell out of him to watch movies where characters make terrible mistakes because of sexual desire; he’s never felt anything that strongly, certainly not enough to ruin his whole damn life, let alone jeopardize the space-time continuum.

When Steve bites down on Bucky’s shoulder, he gasps loudly in his small bedroom, his narrow body arching up against Steve’s, and Steve thinks, Yeah. He gets it, now. He thinks he’s been missing Bucky his whole life without even knowing him.

Time Loops

☀️offer me that deathless death | canistakahari | Explicit | 10,656 words | **Post-Endgame Recs**

Bucky relives the day he falls from the train over and over. Exactly as painful as sounds (but with a canon-divergent post-TWS ending, so we're okay.) Wartime Steve and Bucky romance that absolutely guts me. I can't overstate how much I love this fic.

Quote:

He reaches for Steve impulsively, cupping his jaw in his hand. “I can’t stand you,” he murmurs.

Steve raises an eyebrow, keeping still in Bucky’s grip. “Is that so?”

He really is unbearable. It’s hard to look at him directly, to see his smooth, earnest features screwed up with gentle concern. Steve’s mouth is soft and vulnerable and Bucky is helpless to give into the urge to press a kiss to his lips. The shape of him has changed in so many ways, but his eyes and mouth, his crooked nose, all remain achingly familiar.

☀️I can't remember how this started (but I can tell you exactly how it ends) | gwyneth_rhys @teatotally | Mature | 12,391 words

A time loop fic that sees Bucky continually reliving the day of the Project Insight launch and remembering/recovering more and more each time he does. Angsty and romantic and so beautifully done.

Quote:

When he opens his eyes, Bucky wants to cry. Maybe he is crying. They’re all staring at him as if he’s suddenly started tap-dancing and singing a song. He wipes at his eyes, and yeah, there are tears there, so of course they’re completely panicked. Codename: Winter Soldier isn’t exactly programmed to cry, so this is a major failure of the conditioning. He kills them as quickly as he can, because it’s just annoying to be stared at like that.

There may not be many good things in this day, but being able to kill some of the people who’ve tormented him for so long over and over and over again is definitely helping him work out some issues, as they say nowadays.

Bucky gets twelve more delirious, wonderful, hot days with Steve, rediscovering everything he loved about loving him. Sometimes it’s slow and tender and sweet, other times they fuck like rabbits in heat, but then it all goes pear-shaped.

Alternate selves

➿Asymmetry | Candlemaker | Teen | 46,423 words | **Post-Engame Recs**

I feel like this is fic on this list I've most often seen rec'd by other people, and I get why. This fic is a delight. Steve and Bucky, along with Sam, Clint, and Tony, find themselves in another timeline — a timeline where Steve and Bucky are married. Alternate timeline Steve and Bucky's relationship is unbelievably sweet, and this way of getting main timeline Steve and Bucky together is such a great balance of angst and fun. I also love this fic for using a trope I normally don't even like and managing to make me enjoy it very, very much.

Quote:

Steve watches them go in muted disbelief, eyes flicking from the back of his own head to their joint hands, metal and flesh fingers intertwined.

“You’re kind of adorable,” Clint coos to Steve and Bucky once their doppelgangers have disappeared down the hall, hands pressed to his cheeks and eyes wide like he is looking at a particularly cute puppy. When Steve can draw his eyes away from his own retreating back (there's no way his shoulders are that huge, right?) to risk a glance at Bucky, he finds his friend resolutely avoiding his gaze, arms wrapped around himself and hair shielding his expression from view.

“Clint-“ Sam warns, levelling the archer with a dangerous look and flicking his gaze pointedly between where Bucky is visibly distressed and Steve just looks lost.

“No, really, the cutest. I didn’t have you pinned as the settling down type, Barnes, but-“

➿Forcing All These Hollow Hearts to Feel Again | paperstorm | Explicit | 12,175 words | **Post-Endgame Recs**

Okay, so, I very much appreciate the way people take the — honestly incomprehensible — concept of timelines/time travel in the MCU as presented in Endgame and use it to write fic involving multiple Steves and/or Bucky in which: a) A large part of the premise is Steve and Bucky are together in all timelines b) There is a threesome/foursome/etc but everyone involved is Steve or Bucky. I'm very fond of this because: a) the 'in every timeline' thing is just ridiculously romantic, and b) I feel like the MCU would hate this particular use of their own time travel rules — and, whatever, but that brings me a little bit of joy.

Anyway, I've read multiple fics that fall under this general premise. For the purposes of this list, I'm rec'ing this very, very soft and lovely hurt/comfort one. This fic does a gorgeous job with Steve's guilt and grief, and also works as an Endgame fix-it of sorts.

Quote:

Steve nods. They walk, hand in hand through the mud, and slowly Steve pulls back the flap on the tent. His former self is on the cot, now, curled up with his arms wrapped around his knees and his face pushed into the meager pillow, his big body tucked into as tight a ball as he can manage. Steve distinctly remembers, after the serum, missing being small in moments of sadness and wishing desperately he could curl up in Bucky’s lap like he used to, safe and protected. He doesn’t remember if that’s what he was thinking about in this exact moment, but given the circumstances, wouldn’t be surprised at all.

Fic Rec Series

[lil-ms-dipst]

fuck it fortnite drip

Sea Beast

Spuncbop

Calcium Father

Rawr x3

Red Lady

Galaxy Lady

Tortle

Zoo Wee Mama

Googoo Gaga

Jean Pierre (the alternative name I thought of for this preset is so much worse)

Pretty Fly 4 a Fire Guy

Masuda Method

Strabby

Lesbian

THE PEA

Lemon

Worse Company

CEO of Sex

Brite Bitch

Joyous Disorder

Pizza Tower

[musette22]

Thank you so much for the tag, lovely @voylitscope & @padfoot-and-the-marauders 💗 I loved reading yours, this is so interesting!

Rules: Post the (first and) final line of your 10 most recently published fics. (Or as many as you have published.) You can either omit multi-chapter WIPs or include the last line of the most recent chapter (or several chapters). Up to you!

The Element of Surprise

First: 'C: be there in 30' Last: “I’m not forgetting that any time soon.”

2. What are friends for?

First: If there’s one thing that Steve has always prided himself on, it’s having a strong moral compass. Last: But even as he’s headed for the kitchen to pre-emptively grab some ice packs from the freezer, he knows he wouldn’t trade any of them for the world.

3. To Me, You Are Purrfect

First: Steve Rogers is many things. Last: “Ready to open our present, birthday girl?”

4. Calico Skies 

First: The first time he sees him, Bucky is haggling with the farmer from Crows Beak Farm about ten miles upstream. Last: “I think I’ll take my chances.”

5. Moment's Silence

First: It’s crazy, Sebastian thinks, watching the sleeping form in bed next to him. Last: There’s only so much having a great ass can let you get away with.

6. Heat Wave

First: “Oh, shut up.” Last: "Good," Chris nods, and kisses him.

7. Rockin' and Rollin'

First: Another day, another successful mission. Last: “Language,” Steve tuts, and just for that, Bucky has to kiss him again.

8. birds all sing as if they knew

First: Steve suppresses a yawn as he trudges up the six flights of stairs to the top floor of the apartment block in Crown Heights that he and Bucky moved into last year. Last: So far.

9. At Your Service

First: Steve is on his way back from the Avengers tower to his Brooklyn apartment when he hears it. Last: “I do,” Bucky sighs, and graciously lets Steve kiss him some more.

10. In Vino Veritas 

First: “Seriously, you’re fantastic,” Chris shouts enthusiastically, a little louder than the music warrants.  Last: “I need a drink.”

I think a lot of people have already been tagged, but just in case: I'm tagging @sparkagrace @cable-knit-sweater @burnin-brighter @abovethesmokestacks @its-tortle @dharmasharks @andrea1717 @raven-writes-fanfic @mind-empty-heart-full @gunshou @luna-rainbow @gfawkesphoenixchokingonashes @fandomfluffandfuck @zenaidamacrouras1 & @rillils and I'm definitely accidentally forgetting some writers friends, so everyone else who'd like to do this please also consider this your tag <333

[the-gnomish-bastard]

Some of you motherfuckers walk too damn slow. I’m over here trying to get back to my tower in time for my dragon’s 472nd birthday party, and you’re walking slower than an exhausted tortle. I could cast haste on you and STILL walk faster than you. Looking at your damn sending stones and projection screens while you walk. Get off the damn skyway.

[weirdlet]

Okay!!

So- when last we left our bold and stupid heroes, we’d just lost our leader, Alastair the half-elven ranger. He’d been ganked by horrible starspawn creatures and then hit the ground after we dimension hopped back to our time, world, and place up in a destroyed tower.

Not gonna lie, that was a rough one.

As the many former slaves and indentured servants sent to rebuild the town start arriving, we have our friend’s body set up in the fashion the orcish trossfrau insist is right and proper- REALLY insist- which is sat up at a table-shrine with offerings made. If after a certain number of days no resurrection magic is found or he refuses the call, then we can burn or bury him. Glory lights incense every moonrise, Phillip has a conversation every day, and we all sort of- are not crossing the orcwives on this, but we're not super crazy about it. But they've saved our asses many times, so- if that is the way it is done, then that is the way that you must do it.

Meanwhile, the colonists need help organizing, and those of us who are left help out. There’s a festival coming soon, that of Green Grass, and it’s supposed to be a time of success and abundance and fertility in a multitude of ways- there’s even some bard tales that hint if the moon is right, Alastair might just get up and dance.

He doesn’t get the chance.

*brief record scratch*

We (the party) have an opportunity to both ingratiate ourselves and set ourselves up as new town founders/leaders, start any traditions we want to see going forward, so that's what we're doing. Glory is helping organize things logistically, having served on ships, as well as getting a statue started for Alistair, and making sure there's dancing for the festival, that it's going to be a proper shindig even as the place is still basically a fortified camp. Phillip the dragonborn warlock is organizing a library, and Trinidad the tortle barbarian is just grumpily hauling stuff as needed, uninterested in becoming a founding lord and adhering to 'we came here to do a job, we'll finish and get on to the next one.'

A day or so before the festival, we get a knock on the door at dinnertime. Lo and behold- it's Alastair's player's new character. Alastair's fiance lady-love, Lady Ravenleaf.

Who is horrified at the news, having arrived just a day too late.

There are some attempts at comfort, and she casts Speak with Dead, and delivers some Lore as she gets closure/a promise from Alastair. See, she's not actually affianced to Alastair. She's engaged to Neverember's son- the same whoremongering hard-drinking wastrel who was our last item on the duty-list to actually take care of, find, and haul back to daddy in one piece.

The plot THICKENS!

Well, Alastair's ghost promises to wait for her, she casts Gentle Repose, a raven comes and pecks at the glass of the window we're all eavesdropping at, and it looks like our next job is going to involve heading to a town overrun by kobolds to rescue this dipshit, then (at least in Glory's mind) engineer some farcial shenanigans to avoid the unwanted marriage, because it's just so SAD about these lost lovers! He's got his own sweetheart in some little shore town, waiting on him too.

Morning after, we've arranged what we can to ensure the place runs smoothly without us. Glory is waving to the girls and saying 'be sure to drink and dance for me, since I'll be missing the festival' We get on the road, talking about all sorts of things, like the fact that the kobolds are apparently serving a pair of young dragons- red and blue, which would make the full house if we manage to tackle them- and other stuff, such as Who Is Actually In Charge. At the very beginning, there was an eating contest to see who would lead. Trinidad is furious because he ate most in volume but wasn't informed that the count was via number of completed plates. Phillip- who is dangerously naive and irritatingly self-assured at the best of times- insists that by having come in second in the original contest, he's now the new leader, and it's for the best. Glory is just like- 'I didn't vote for EITHER of you.' And they're both howling about how this! is not! a DEMOCRACY!, and Glory is a veteran of pirate ships, see, where the captain's word is law, but the captain is drawn from the crew by cast lots. Personally, he's leaning towards this new chick who has her shit together, but quorum will have to wait until these two get their heads out of their butts. And it's just amusing to get Phillip wound up by questioning his (frankly specious) claim to authority. (Trinidad, being the most military-minded of all of us, is also blusterously furious when Glory points out that there was no actual chain of command spelled out when we all got sent on this suicide run. Go on, tell me the rules and I'll see my way to obeying them. Go right ahead.)

So just barely out of sight of the gates, a bunch of large angry folk riding boars come up the road. More Anchorites of Talos. Their leader gives us a nasty grin and an invite- really just a play-with-the-food sort of thing- of 'come and see what we've been working on, and join our worship, or we'll cut you down and then take your village'.

Knowing their propensity for wereboars, and having been vocal in my horror about being silver-less lowbies against werecreatures who are IMMUNE TO EVERYTHING BUT- I petition the GM, and he lets me roll to have retroactively spent the money and gotten my rapier silvered. Thank. The. Gods. Because there were a lot of wereboars.

We plow through the advance party pretty quick, and Glory and Lady Ravenleaf are pretty solid on following the trail to where the Anchorites are doing their ritual, while Phillip and Trinidad bicker. We're approaching stealthily, hearing the chanting rise to a pitch in the ring of standing stones at the top of a hill- and suddenly we're ambushed by twigblights. Glory rolls good enough to get a surprise round, and uses his one Burning Hands to clear the 'blights from around Ravenleaf, who's thoroughly surrounded otherwise. Crazy shit ensues.

The 'blights in their various flavors are relatively easy, but the shambling mound that starts grabbing folks and swallowing them whole is a Problem. Particularly since our dragonborn warlock is a lightning mage, our barbarian tortle has a swirling vortex of lightning energy around him- AND LIGHTNING HEALS SHAMBLING MOUNDS, AS WE SHORTLY FOUND OUT.

There's- A Lot going on. Folks move around the battlefield, including Phillip thunder-stepping away from the mound and leaving us to mop it and the blights up, while getting WILDLY ahead of us and into the thick of the wereboars and anchorites who are realizing that the guests have arrived.

Mister Glass Cannon, everybody.

Glory is doing his usual dive-strike-move thing fairly successfully, just occasionally chunking rolls, and the shambling mound IS on fire but takes a long, long time to die and free us up to help. And even Phillip is mostly holding his own, way out in the far corner of the battlefield, because Sickening Radiance is, ngl, a pretty nasty and badass bit of utility casting. It kept a majority of the anchorites and wereboars either cornered or fleeing in small, killable chunks, until we could finally get over there- only to see the Anchorite orc-king and his MINOR AVATAR OF TALOS BOAR MOUNT step on up to Phillip.

Shit gets real fucked, real fast- Phillip's on the ground two failed death-saves in, and while he eventually makes ONE- he's literally helpless on the ground. The Radiance goes away with his being unconscious. Things are about to get REALLY bad. Phil's player spends a Plot Point.*

The giant lightning boar puts a foot down, obliterating Phillip's hand- and the genie-pact ring that holds his personal space, his treasure, and the chest full of sealed eyeball-moss evil.

Said eyeball-moss evil oozes out and wraps itself around the giant boar, hissing hateful things and, in a spectacle not unlike a ball-bearing being devoured by magnetic putty (and then put in a microwave)- the two destroy each other.

(A god vs a demon on the mortal plane- the god wins, the Intelligent, Lightning-filled giant boar growls, just before it dies.)

Well-played, very good, home for tea and medals! Or at the very least, sitting down and breathing and licking our wounds, having mopped up the Anchorites and having had a Very Eventful Day. I don't think I missed anything- but by golly, that was a party.

*Plot Points- everyone is issued one at character creation, and in theory you can earn them again by doing extremely cool stuff, but I've yet to see one get passed out again. They're very handy for ensuring that some little slip of fate passes you by (or something extremely cool and ridiculous becomes an I-win button).

[moromaitar]

My favorite drawings from 2022! This was the first year in a while that I didn't complete Inktober, so a bit sparser than usual.

In order, they are Percy de Rolo, the Outsider, my tortle eldritch knight, an assault on a wizard's tower, a Klingon Bird of Prey, Euphemia li Britannia, Calcifer, a hummingbird, and the Bat family.

[thosenaturalones]

from a journal found on a fallen Shanian archer

Most of the 'glorious Shanian army' are serfs and were never trained to fight. They gave clubs to those who didn't bring a staff to fight with. (I am a lordson, but as the youngest, I was pressed into service, but I brought a bow and a sword. The sword I gave to someone else of good character, but whose staff was already cracked.) Those who survive battle are encouraged to pick up weapons and armor of the fallen. I am very grateful for the weapons training I received as a child; as a bowman, I am allowed to keep distance from the enemy. I have survived three assaults on the Green Wall. Only two other men are still alive from the group I came in with, Aaron and Tisdale, both slingers. Many of the men here are criminals, and serve here as punishment. Imagine that, my fate the same as a common criminal.

The northern front along the Green Wall is terrifying. First of all, there's the Tortles. These gigantic creatures possess speech and intelligence, yet possess the claws of beasts, AND are ferociously strong AND are essentially covered in half-plate armor. Second, the Lizardmen, aren't much better. Their scales can deflect arrows and blades, and their mouths are maws of razor-sharp teeth. They're monsters, too. I've witnessed Lizardmen *eat* men alive. Some can even spit acid. Third, there's the Frogs. They cover their weapons and arrows in a poison that makes your heart stumble and often stop entirely. Lastly, the Marsh elves are very different than our own. They're not dark skinned, but are instead pale with brown hair, and they can just vanish. I've seen Marsh Elves disappear in the rain, as if melting into the air itself. And some of them can grow their fingers into talons that melt your flesh and leave terrible scars. Our commander has one such a scar across his face.

I've heard rumors of cat people, but I've never seen one.

I'm going to die out here, I just know it. I wonder if my soul will be destroyed if one of the necromancers turns my corpse into a zombie. I try not to think about it.

Sometimes I think the Monsters have built the forward towers just for us to have something to do. The towers have archers and wizards atop them, shooting at us through killing holes. And by the time we capture one, everyone inside has disappeared.

They're wooden, but we never use fire on them. Maybe because fire spooks our flesh golems. I hate the golems. They look like giant people but their eyes are dead. Not-People. The clay golems that watch over our camp aren't so bad; they just look like statues. But the flesh golems are clearly made of dead men. Our own men. The golem wranglers handle them and repair them with lightning. They're tremendous on the battle field, I admit. I've seen them actually kill Tortles and Lizardfolk, literally tear their arms off, but still... I don't like them. Geoffrey, who's been here for much longer than me, said he saw one go berserk once. It started killing everyone close to it.  So that's the rub, you're more likely to survive by staying close to the killing machine--so long as it doesn't freak out and can no longer tell friend from foe.

This is pointless. We almost never even get to the Green Wall, and it's never been breached. Even if and when our catapults damage a section of it, its mostly repaired by the time our men can get there. The earth erupts in front of us as they charge, causing the men to stumble and fall. You have to run through the mud, because any patch of grass near the wall can come alive and hold you in place for their javelin throwers or archers to pick you off. When the fog appears, you run. Marsh Elves are invisible in the fog and can gut you like a fish in an instant. And the Frogs hide in the fog, too, with their poisonous arrows.

I swear the monsters must have trap doors and underground passage-ways like they use in the theatre. I need to talk to the Commander. Maybe he'll listen to a Lordson.

[midnight-ranger-general-jiyan]

You say "Impermanence Heron" once and I get war flashbacks to the amount of times that dumb bird beat my ass LMAO

(( Luckily none of the characters in my 2 teams I built for the Tower of Adversity need mats from thar bird.

Crownless - easy, bring it on

Dreamless - also a walk in the park

Aix- heck yeah

Monke - also easy peasy

Dragon - Jiyan's ult go brrrrrrr

Tortle - alright, start already I need your bell.

Birb - No thank you.

))

[thewhimsyturtle]

Happy World Turtle Day!  🥳🐢

This year’s annual tortle tower is a high-rising one!  🍞🐢🐢  Back during the Great Pandemic Baking Craze of 2020, Mom made a braided turtle bun bigger than me, plus a tiny baby turtle bun with the leftover dough!  🥖😋  But rye wouldn’t Mom let me get within CHOMPing distance of either?!  😫🐢

[deathbyworm]

HAD A REAL ROUGH TIME IN DND TODAY

I'm playing a Triton warlock who's currently level 3 (and has her familiar, Schnookums, who's usually a quasit) and we're quite literally in hell, fighting our way up a series of connected towers and through a series of hard hitting demons. No, we very much were Not supposed to be here at level 3 BUT OUR TORTLE BARBARIAN DECIDED ITD BE FUNNY TO USE HIS BLOOD IN A RITUAL TO OPEN THE PORTAL-

I've been surviving pretty well up to this point, hex + poison spray-ing the big boss while the rogue and that lot take out the minions. Miraculously none of us have died, though the Tabaxi seems to be trying his best. Okay that's all the context needed rn

SO WE ENTER THIS DOOR into a?? demon citadel thing basically??? and we're now fighting a big boss demon, a giant gargoyle, and 5 other demons spread across the room. I (THANK FUCK) used fiendish vigor before entering the room, and armour of agathys once combat started so I'm sitting pretty on +10 temp hit points and 5 frost damage to anyone that attacks me.

Me and Schnookums are taking down the big boss (paladin and barbarian assisting when not frightened) and we're holding our ground fairly well, I'm sitting at 13 hp but I've been set on fire and am hoping it gets put out before my turn, when the big boss demon lands a nat 20 to hit. (he could have hit with a much lower roll, and had, but the nat 20 was just extra salt in the wound for what was to follow)

He deals 33 damage. I am at NEGATIVE TWENTY HIT POINTS

my max is 30 so I'm not insta dead, but if I don't get myself extinguished now then that's a automatical point towards death when my turn comes around. Luckily Schnookums, in his bat form, rolls a 17 and extinguishes my flames (after a whole debate on whether or not he'd be able to) so I'm feeling SLIGHTLY better about this, though still bleeding out.

My turns comes around. I roll my first saving throw.

Natural 1

IF SCHNOOKUMS HAD FAILED. IF I HAD BEEN EVEN SLIGHTLY WORSE AT DEFENDING HIS FIRE EXTINGUISHING ABILITIES. I WOULD BE DEAD THEN AND THERE. I AM THANKING GODS I DONT BELIEVE IN AT THIS POINT, BECAUSE I AM SO VERY IN LOVE WITH THIS CHARACTER

I'm at the end of initiative, so it returns to top of the round. Our druid tries to stabilise me. she fails. I remind my party members that the rogue and fighter both know I have a healing potion in my bag, of which the fighter quickly informs the rest of the group. The wizard, PLAYED BY MY REAL LIFE FATHER, comes over and takes the healing potion out of my bag-

and uses it on the paladin. who has rolled NOT A SINGLE FAILED DEATH SAVING THROW

anyway, it is enough that on his turn he manages to gain consciousness.

good for him.

finally the fighter makes her way over and stabilises me. Yay to no more bleeding out!!

However, the battle is still going on around me and if I get attacked again (for example, the minion from earlier blasts fire at me. AGAIN) I'm back to saving throws AND I'm still on -20 so I'm a while away from being conscious. Schnookums, unable to help me directly, starts biting and clawing at the demons closest to me. He is kicking ass. I am not

THE PALADIN, NEWLY REVIVED, HEALS ME FOR... 15... points...

that's the highest he can heal rn and I'm STILL unconscious

STILL surrounded by demons

STILL having a VERY BAD, NOT FUN TIME

I have never once had my character die in DND. This warlock is my favourite character I've played, I do NOT want her to be the first oh my GOD

and the session ended there. MID BATTLE because we ran out of time. So now I've got TWO WEEKS of anticipation, praying to nonexistent gods that I will survive.

Fun :')

[mediocremxm]

The Party has a Bathhouse Episode

Yep, you read that right! After escaping the previous safe house the party and survivors make their way towards Bjorn’s bathhouse, a surprisingly well maintained bathhouse on the inner edges of the city. When entered it was, just as surprisingly, almost pristine if not a tad dusty and a handful of mildewy towels. Setting up a temporary base in the main lobby, the party split to investigate and look around the building better. A very smart idea.

First group was made of Oliver, Emre, and Hawk as they split to look into the private washrooms the building had, finding, very conveniently, three rooms in the hall. Not to break Tumbrl’s rules, but I will say without a single hint of hesitation Emre started to strip while entering a private room by himself and started a proper bath. This note caught Hawk’s attention, calling it out after a while to find that he was actually kind of late to punch. He’s a quarter ginger, what do you expect from a Tabaxi. Thankfully, the idea was forgotten as soon as he found a wardrobe in another washroom filled with luxury robes, of which the three yoinked for themselves after the bathhouse moment had passed. They were amazing.

Aakran and Verther was the next group, going into the VIP and staff areas to investigate for anything that could be useful or helpful. Ultimately, this search for good things was broken up as the two started to get a bit aggressive with each other, screaming at each other at a level everyone else in the building could hear. Specifically their argument revolved around their differing views and beliefs on ‘The Cycle’, or what they see as how life is meant to play out, and the reasoning for their different beliefs came out to be seen as Verther believed that The Cycle was not real and easily broken, while Aakran saw it as important for the supporting the forces of nature. Of course, these were all put on the back burner after a while when they decided that finishing the current job was more important than their normal, petty arguments.

During their arguments, the trio in the private baths took bets on who was going to kill each other first. That’s not important, just a note.

Finally moving to the last group of Josiah and Otto who remained with the survivors in the main room keeping a sort of watch and sort of hanging around for the most part. Eventually realizing where exactly they were, Otto had taken a step away to the communal washroom in order to rehydrate some. It’s important for a Tortle to stay hydrated! As it is with you, too. Get a water or something. On his way back to the main room Otto had passed a strange door that something he couldn’t explain made him feel strange, leading him to take a - rather light - bench and put in front of the door, which later came to be rather useless as the door was a pull from the opposite side. He’s trying.

When the group met back up, some still irritated from a fight, some in very fanciful robes, and some having just vibed for a fair bit, the party had to go into working around the main room to try and keep it safe as they chose to stay for the night. The actual night, not the weird Broodmother caused darkness. Maybe, it’s impossible to tell. Either way, everyone had a rather boring night and the time that they woke up, a plan was formed.

Investigating the bad vibes door showed that it had went down into the tunnels, just like the wizard tower meaning a potential way to the Broodmother. As the party began their way down into the tunnels they were instantly called back by hearing the screams of the survivors in the main room. Rushing back the party sees a group of four strangely shapeless Skinwalkers that had broken in, either through the barricade or through one of the drains, but it didn’t matter. Right now, there was a fight coming up, and initiative is rolled... for the next session!

[springvaletales]

((Session 53 is here! Actually it was here last week but a lot’s been going on IRL so I only got it all typed up today.))

We’re all kind of braindead, Sir Carl Jaeger’s player can’t attend, and I’m fresh off an interview, so today is going to be all about Shenanigans and little else.

The party woke up at the Whitescale Inn, and Bagelby immediately offered to disguise Lex as an old lady so they could hustle strangers by challenging them to arm wrestle for coin.

Their first victim was Kwara, the pompous human leader of a group of surly teenagers who I described as “an antagonist from an 80’s fighting anime who starts as an enemy but ends the season as your ride-or-die best friend”

Bagelby had so much fun messing with Kwara that he forgot to pick the gang’s pockets.

Ena had planned on setting up her proposal to Asahi today, but Asahi now won’t leave her side, and she’s growing increasingly desperate to ditch her soon-to-be wife in an unsuspicious way so she can set up her proposal.

Thiori went off to find a library and some books about jewelry making, and found a small local library run by three overworked Kobolds who only just took over the library from an elf who had used a long and complicated organizational system that no-one else understood.

Somewhere in all this chaos, Sir Carl went off on his own.

“Are you supposed to tip your librarian?”

I underestimated how much Thiori’s Player loves Kobolds. He gave them all of his gold. Like, ALL of it.

Me: “Was that a ‘sad’ yeah? Or a ‘his mind expanded SO far that day ‘ yeah?”

Thiori’s Player: “Yeah.”

The party met up for lunch (Lex paid with all of the gold she and Bagelby, uh, ‘found’) and Lex was the only one who rolled high enough to spot a mysterious figure armored in white watching them from the rooftops across the square.

The figure shook his head at her like a disappointed parent, and then vanished in a blinding flash of white light.

Lex doesn’t know anything about the local history, but Thiori - who was given the customer service experience of a lifetime by his new Kobold worshipers - knows that the figure matches the description of Whitescale, a folk hero from the era of the Dark King’s fall.

The party decided to get to the bottom of the Whitescale Incident by talking directly to the Mayor....whose house is attached to the local Whitescale museum.

Mayor Twillhopper’s Tortle receptionist is from New Jersey bc that’s the accent I panic-chose and now I’m stuck with it.

Bagelby, excited: “Asahi, didn’t I do good? I didn’t even tell her what we did to the last mayor we met!”

Asahi, screaming inside: “That’s great, Bagel! Please do not utter any more words!”

Thiori wandered into a museum dedicated to the folk hero Whitescale, and met the Tabaxi Postal worker/museum guard Geli (who was more interested in a nap than collecting admission) and a 14yo anime protagonist.

“I refUSE to let Geli get fired.”

Meanwhile, Lex managed to lure the figure she’d seen into a dead-end alley before confronting him, and found him to be a 7ft suit of armor who told her to stop scamming people because it A) wasn’t nice and B) was going to cause more problems for him after she and her party left town.

Whitescale 2.0 clocked for Lawful Stupid.

Whitescale 2.0 also clocked for a ‘Robin, despite me using a DxD image as his reference.

Lex asked him about the Sunfell Cult, and Whitescale 2.0 admitted that the cult has been a growing problem in the town for over a year.

Whitescale 2.0 told Lex to meet him on the roof of the Lightbell Bell Tower after sunset, and vanished when her back was turned.

Back at the Mayor’s house/museum, Mayor Twillhopper is now “Disheveled Bowtie Daddy” (I never should have described him as ‘Bruce-Wayne-but-in-party-mode’).

Mayor Twillhopper has a custom-made wine glass that can hold an entire keg’s worth of liquid,

He and Sir Carl Jaeger have been drinking together almost the entire day. They are both very drunk.

He also has a built-in magical dispenser bar that slides out of the wall of his sitting room and can dispense just about any beverage you can imagine.

Bagelby tried to claim he was over 21, but failed his deception roll, and the Mayor (claiming that he knew what a teenaged boy looked like because he had one) offered him slug juice instead.

Asahi straight up asked the Mayor if he was Whitescale, which he denied.

She also straight up asked him how old he was, as he expressed surprise in hearing that Velenna had taken on a new student (Bagelby), and was told to mind her manners.

The Mayor’s adopted human son, Twyl Twillhopper (14), walked in in through a hallway to the attached museum, and tried to sneak past his father’s guests. He was unsuccessful, and his father called him over to brag about his budding magical prowess.

Bagelby and Twyl got into a magical pissing contest of seeing who could best imitate the Mayor’s appearance using Disguise Self (Bagelby) and Minor Illusion (Twyl).

The Mayor’s secretary walked in to try and get him to sign some paperwork, saw three Twillhoppers, and immediately left again.

They have already figured out half of my plot twist god damnit.

Asahi used a magical acorn to call Ena to join them at the Mayor’s house, but Ena misunderstood the context, thought Asahi was in danger, and broke in through a window instead of using the front door.

This window happened to lead into the bedroom of the Mayor’s son, who freaked out upon finding a strange horned woman in his room.

Asahi ran upstairs when the screaming started, and both she and Ena had to be escorted back downstairs by two very underpaid guards.

At the same time, Thiori found the attached hallway and came over from the museum, and casually asked what he’d missed.

Lex filled him in, startling everyone else, who hadn’t noticed her coming in behind the secretary earlier.

We left off there with the party together at the Mayor’s house, with Lex still to tell everyone about meeting Whitescale 2.0 on the Bell Tower roof.

[yourplayersaidwhat]

“Just go back into your shell and we’ll push you down!" 

- Our Ranger suggesting how we get our very elderly Tortle Paladin back down eight flights of tower stairs he took 2+ hours to climb.

[amysgiantbees]

MHA Pro Heroes/Nice Adults in DND

Othanzia (Northern Faerun)

King Enji Todoroki (Endeavor) is a bitch. But he’s also a human noble sorcerer with a red dragon bloodline. He has the Gift of the Chromatic Dragon and Weapon Master. He follows Sirrion, neutral god of fire and change. He’s a quarter dragon born which is why his family line has visible elements of their powers on their body, like their hair. He’s king of Othanzia, home to Pyrah and the Fire Ashari, it’s on the continent of Issylra. He definitely doesn’t have his wife locked up in a tower... He also might eventually decide to multi class into warlock and make a deal with a servant of, or even Mephistopheles himself, for true Hellfire, depending where his story goes. He uses a terrifying great-axe.

Queen Rei Todoroki (Himura maiden name) is a winter Eladrin elf white Draconic bloodline sorcerer. She uses a staff, well she would if she wasn’t currently imprisoned in a very lavish tower. She’s a follower of Corellon Larethian, elf deity of art and magic, Sehanine Moonbow, elf goddess of the moon, the Undying Court and The Spirits of the Past, both elven ancestors. And she has always felt a draw to Auril, nuetral evil goddess of winter which she tries to resist, but it’s harder to resist the colder, more isolated she feels. She has the feats Greater Dragonmark and Gift of the Chromatic Dragon.

Keigo Takami (Hawks) is a half Hawk Aven half human Swashbuckler rogue. He has the Sentinel and Silver-Tongued feats. He uses a rapier and daggers. He’s not a follower but makes sure to pray to The Mockery, god of violence and treachery before a spy mission. He’s the spy master in King Enji’s court. He rose through the ranks very quickly and has kept his job secret so most people just think he’s a mouthy guard or spy. 

Ryuko Tatsuma is a dragonborn. Eldritch Knight fighter is her class. She follows Bahamut, dragon god of good. She is a adventurer for  Othanzia‘s lead adventuring guild The Eternal Flame. 

Rumi Usagiyama (Mirko) is a Rabbitfolk Way of the Open Hand monk. She has the tavern brawler and tough feats. She’s a follower of Trithereon, war god of liberty and retribution. She is a free lance mercenary who sometimes works for the army. 

Musutafu (Western Faerun)

Tsunagu Hakamada (Best Jeanist) is a human armourer artificer. He uses a net and spear. He has the Dual Wielder and Weapon Master feats. He follows Sune and gods of knowledge like Oghma. He is the head knight for the King and Queen of Musutafu.

Taishiro Toyomitsu (Fat Gum) is a Changeling life domain cleric for Helm, god of protection. He also follows The Silver Flame, deity of protection and good. He works at the city’s temple to Helm as well as being an adventurer. 

Crimson Riot is a fire genasi Path of the Bear Totem Barbarian warrior. Follower of Torm, god of courage and self-sacrifice. He’s currently an adventurer but is likely soon to retire. 

Uwabami is a Yuan-Ti College of Glamour bard. She is a devout follower of Sune. She has the actor feat. She is a traveler and nomad who works as both an adventurer and a bard for Musutafu’s bardic college spreading their name and deeds all over the world.

Musutafu’s lead adventuring guild The Heroes Commission

Gunhead is a human Champion fighter with the gunner and dual wielder feats. He uses either two revolvers or two swords. he’s a follower of St. Cuthbert, god of common sense and zeal. 

Ken Takagi (Rock Lock) is a human Eldritch Knight. Follower of Tyr, god of justice. He’s a solo adventurer. 

Paladins like Chainmail because it’s Holey Armour 

Mirai Sasaki (Sir Nighteye) a human School of Divination wizard. Follower of Lliira, One for All, and Savras, god of divination and fate. He’s the leader of the adventuring party.

Kaoruko Awata (Bubble Girl) is a triton storm scorer. Follower of  Savras and Lliira. She is a key member of the PLCBIHAs.

The Lurkers of  Musutafu 

Yu Takeyama (Mt. Lady) is a goliath multi classer. She’s a transmutation wizard whose favourite spell is Enlarge Reduce and a path of the berserker barbarian. She has the tavern brawler and silver-tongued feats. Her top stats are strength and charisma. A big follower of Sune.

Shinya Kamihara (Edgeshot) is a human Blood Hunter: Order of the Ghostslayer. Follower of Tyr god of justice.

Shinji Nishiya (Kamui Woods) is an earth genasi Circle of the Land druid. He follows Meilikki, goddess of forests and Malar, god of the hunt.

Musutafu city guard

Kenji Tsuragamae is a Khenra battle master fighter. He’s the head of the Musutafu city guard. He is a devout follower of Tyr, god of justice.

Detective Naomasa Tsukauchi is a human battle master fighter.

Officer Sansa Tamakawa is a ginger Tabaxi human battle master fighter.

The Sacred Forest (Eastern Faerun)

David Shield is a human Armorer artificer. Follower of Heironeous and One for All. he lives near the woods that One for All is located, steers people clear of him and occasionally keeps him company and brings him direct offerings. 

The Orca’s Crew - Ocean Protectors of the Sea of Swords

Captain Kugo Sakamata (Gang/Pirate Tortle) is a tortle Echo Knight fighter. He has the menacing and crusher features. he likes to wear well tailored pirate attire. He uses a cutless sword.

First mate Wash is a Warforged Nature domain cleric of Habbakuk, god of animal life and the sea. He carries a big, round shield and short-sword.

The Pussycats - Protectors of The Beast's Forest (Mid/Eastern Faerun)

Shino Sosaki (Mandalay) is a Himalayan Tabaxi Wizard: School of Divination. Devout follower of good nature deities and Helm, god of protection. 

Ryuko Tsuchikawa (Pixie-Bob) is a Scottish Fold Tabaxi nature domain cleric for Mielikki, goddess of forests. Devout follower of good nature deities and Helm, god of protection.

Tomoko Shiretoko (Ragdoll) is a Ragdoll like Tabaxi Swarm-keeper ranger.  Devout follower of good nature deities and Helm, god of protection.

Yawara Chatora (Tiger) is a tiger like Tabaxi Monk: Way of Mercy. Devout follower of good nature deities and Helm, god of protection.

The country of Ketsubutsu)

Emi Fukukado/Ms. Joke is of course a bard! She is a human College of Glamour bard who has studied under the funniest fey. She has the performer and diplomat feats. She follows Lliira, goddess of joy. She is the principle at Ketsubutsu Academy.