#tried to convince myself to start the topical again but when i tried i just got way too anxious wbout the contamination still soooo

[shleemies]

Just did a T shot for the first time in years!! I was so brave!!! Used a bluey bandaid too :-)

[annabelle--cane]

im listening to mag again and damn do the archival crew HATE jon. listen i get it supposedly your lives would be normal if he hadn't brought you here... but he didn't? (minus og archive crew, jon requesting them and all) if anything he was just kinda there when you made decisions, bro wasn't EVEN THERE when melanie got hired like??? like how r u gonna wish him pain rn, he's ltrly sopping wet and on the verge of dying💀

like another anon I got a month or so ago, this is one of my sleeper agent trigger phrases, so this might be another marina monologue moment.

as I'm also in the middle of a (for my standards) incredibly slow relisten, I've been thinking about this topic, too, but I've been coming at it from a slightly different angle than I normally do. in tim's case, we don't get an actual look at the circumstances under which he transferred to the archives, it is theoretically possible that jon laid it on a bit thick in asking him to come with him to the department and tim wouldn't have even thought of it otherwise, but with melanie we have several scenes of her hiring and onboarding where jon is not present and she continually rebuffs people who tell her she's making a mistake, so the text very clearly sets up that her blaming jon for being trapped there doesn't make sense. and, even with tim having been requested by jon, he still had to make the ultimate decision to switch departments himself, so, yknow, what gives?

most people, I think, and myself in the past, have come at this question from a very jon-centric pov because he's the main character and it's a jon-centric show, but I think putting it down to "they lash out at him because he happens to be there and stops defending himself after a while" misses something, as does "they lash out at him because elias sets everyone up to think they have an adversarial relationship to jon." more than that, I think it's about the rejection of agency.

tma is a show that's very much About agency and choices, so it's important to keep track of where characters suddenly balk and try to offload their choices onto other agents. martin, despite being very proactive and efficient when he sets his mind to it, has a consistent habit of thinking of himself as fundamentally unimportant and unable to affect real change. jon, someone who is usually culpability_acceptor_4000, really tries to convince himself that the web made him pull statements out of strangers. and melanie and tim, on realizing that they've gotten themselves stuck in the archives, have similar reactions of trying to retroactively make those decisions jon's.

they hate being stuck there and they can't bear the idea that it might be their fault, and they don't know how to reconcile the choices they did make with the greater forces outside of their control that shape their lives. tim swings right from seeing jon as fully responsible to seeing everything as the result of cosmically inevitable bad luck, and this hits him so hard that it leads directly to his suicide. post-bullet melanie gets a better handle on it; accepting that she chose to fall further into the slaughter opens her up to accepting that she made other choices, like joining the archives, as well as accepting future choices, like quitting the archives.

and yes, in the moments where tim and melanie are most vulnerable and just starting to realize how deeply screwed they are, jon (at least from their pov) does something to make it worse. when jon tells tim that jane presntiss wasn't his fault, tim says "well you sure made me feel worse afterwards! and then everyone had to pay attention to how you were feeling to get you to stop stalking us!" when melanie goes in for a second assassination attempt on elias, elias makes jon talk her down instead of doing it himself, presumably to try and get the slaughter mark done with. neither of these are the inciting incidents for tim and melanie's situations, but they stand out. and because jon is culpability_acceptor_4000, a man who feels like the weight of the whole world is on his shoulders and is even right some of the time, the accusations stick. tim and melanie don't want anything to be their fault, jon thinks everything is his fault, and it's a bit of a vicious self-fulfilling cycle.

[nieceeee]

"SOON AS I GET HOME"

P/C: babydaddy eren POV from leaving your house.

W/C: 1.3k

A/N: Little quick fluff and emotional whirlwind yall been asking for. Just wanted to get this one out my head while I build the next part.

I think I need to build out a playlist and put these in order so we can know where to go from here. I never actually established their relationship before the baby and I want to share that. Its alittle wild but I think it will make sense to further the plot

My heart was heavy as I started my engine and pulled out of y/n’s driveway. What the fuck Eren? Why would you ask her that? I reprimanded myself. I shook my head at myself. I didn't head straight home. My mind still spinning. I knew I was getting too close to her but I couldn’t help it. Y/N was my everything at one point in my life. And now, seeing her with our child, watching her from afar, my heart started to long for those familiar moments. Memories of being cuddled up with her, my head in her legs as she stroked my scalp gently. Or when I would see the shock on her face as I would surprise her at home with dinners and gifts. She was so important to me but we never seemed to work out when we got together. It's like the balance was always tipped and it was easier to fight and leave than sift through the drama. 

Still, that never erased the good moments. I let out a heavy sigh. You can't do this Eren. You can't get attached. You’re in a relationship. I thought about my girlfriend. We had been together before I found out about the baby and recently after y/n had given birth. It’s been a tough journey. I knew that she knew I had gone back to y/n when we broke up. We weren’t dating but that definitely didn't stop the other things we did. My mind flooded with images of the day I helped her and a small ball of fire ignited in my stomach. I refocused again. As much as I wanted to relive some of those memories, I wouldn't do that to my girlfriend. She didn't deserve that. Part of me wanted to leave and try to convince y/n to work it out. But the fear of it failing and driving a wedge between us was too much to bear. I couldn't lose her and my baby. And being in a relationship made it easier for me to not act on the urges, at least not with y/n. Now the things I did alone in my room were different. 

It wasn’t intentional but I couldn't deny it and say sometimes my mind didn't shift to another person to get myself off. I was always riddled with guilt afterwards but it didn't change the way it made my body react to her. I groaned aloud. Why is this so damn complicated. 

I drove around a little while longer. I knew what was waiting for me when I got home and I wasn’t ready to let the small sense of peace I had leave just yet. When I was with y/n, I felt at ease. There was no confusion, just us. We could sit and talk for hours and I would long for it the moment it stopped. Y/n made me feel whole in a way I couldn’t explain and I wanted that wholeness all the time but she wasn’t on the same page. I could see it in her eyes when I asked her about us. The way she would shift the topic or dodge the questions when I mentioned what we could've been. I know we weren’t perfect but I at least hoped there was something to salvage with her. 

Tears burned in the back of my eyes but I cleared my throat and blinked them away. It was no use dreaming of things that wouldn't happen. I made the quick turn onto my street. Here we go. I thought to myself as I cut the engine on my car and walked inside. The lights were on and I knew she was awake and waiting for me to walk through the door.

“Did you fuck her?” She asked, disdain dripping from her voice. She sat in front of me, her arms crossed across her chest. I had just walked in the front door and she was already on her bullshit. I tried my best not to roll my eyes. “Again with this shit? You ask me every time I go over there.” I shook my head, kicked my shoes off at the door and made my way towards the guest bedroom. “Because you smell like her.” She said walking behind me. I groan internally. It was a never ending cycle with her and it was starting to weigh on me mentally. “Just answer the question Eren.” She pushed. “No.” I answered. “For the thousandth time, for the past 6 months. I did not and have not fucked her. Are you happy now?” She stood in front of me. Time stood still for a beat. Two beats. Three. “Fine.” She huffed before turning on her heels and walking away.

I let her leave before turning to get undressed and climb into bed. She had given me the ultimatum. ‘Whenever you go see her, you can sleep in the guest room. I don't want her scent in our bed.’ I’ll admit I found solace in those days. Moments where I could be alone and in my memories without feeling the weight of her next to me. I closed the door to the guest room behind me and locked it before sliding under the covers. I picked up my phone just as a text message came through. 

Hope you made it safe. Good night

My heart jumped in my chest as I responded. 

Yeah, here. Thanks. Good night baby doll

Good night Rennie.

I sat my phone down on the dresser and closed my eyes to rest but sleep wouldn't come to me. So as I always did, I picked it back up and went to my photos. I spent the next few minutes scrolling through the pictures and video of my son. My heart filled with joy as I looked back through the memories. Then I switched to my albums and pulled up my hidden folder and entered the passcode. All of the videos that included y/n appeared. A small smile tugged at my lips as I scrolled through them, pulling up my favorite. The video started to play, the camera on our son as he cooed and giggled in the playpen. Music was playing in the background as y/n got ready to go out with her friend for the day. “Hey little man, let’s go see what mommy is doing” I had said in the video. 

I picked him up and carried him and the camera into her room. She was dancing around, singing at the top of her lungs to Beyonce’s Love On Top. I recorded the way she jumped and spun as her voice matched the song.  She turned to me and gasped, eyes widening as I burst out laughing. “Damnit Rennie, I told you not to scare me.” I continued to laugh as she rolled her eyes playfully and went back to singing. She picked up her hairbrush and turned to me, pointing and singing the words to the song as I recorded her performance. My smile widened the same way it did when I was there. The action of her singing the lyrics and pointing her finger at me made me buzz with energy. I knew it wasn't for me. I knew she was in the moment but it didn't stop the way it made me feel. At the end of the video she did a goofy bow and walked closer to me. “Did you enjoy the show?” she asked, smiling and out of breath. “I did. I need an encore.” I teased her. The video ended with her laughing out loud.

My heart tugged as it ended. The longing heavier in my chest than before. I watched a few more videos before reluctantly sitting the phone down and releasing another breath. My eyes stared into the darkness as I reminisced on what could’ve been.

[trentsixtysix]

Mine

Summary: Hoping for a promotion, Y/n can't help but feel Trent's possessive nature could be holding her back.

WARNINGS: Toxic! Trent, unhealthy relationship, Possessive Trent, power dynamic (please don't read if that doesn't appeal to you), mentions of physical altercations.

Based off of: This Request

Please give feedback 🫶

Word Count: 4.2k

The pair of you didn't seem to get much sleep at all anymore.

For you it was due to the extra efforts you'd go through trying to get the promotion you felt you deserved, and for Trent - it was fighting with you whenever he could about it.

You'd just recovered from another screaming match about the very same topic. You weren't actually listening to what he had to say, something about how you valued your job more than him. Your mind was bombarded with other thoughts about how you had to get this presentation ready for tomorrow, whatever Trent was saying would have to wait until you were sane enough to talk to him properly, but of course this only angered him even more.

Eventually he had apologised, with the two of you snuggled in bed distracted by the movie on in the background; his head immersed into your neck as you played with his growing locs. It was moments like this that made you value what the two of you had, how even after the worst of arguments and the most horrid things said you remembered how much you loved each other.

You feared his reaction for what you were about to do next, you were an idiot for even thinking about this during the calm after the storm, but you knew you'd get no better opportunity than this, he was drowsy and surely wouldn't be in a mood to argue again, to call you all of those hurtful things again.

'Trent.' You called, as he just hummed, too busy watching the awful comedy film playing in the background, the same film that not one of you had let out a chuckle at in the past hour it'd been on.

'The company's celebrating its 10 years this week.' You started, and surely he could hear your heart pounding as soon as that sentence left your mouth.

'And there's going to be a dinner..'

All he did was shoot up from your embrace, raised eyebrows as he couldn't look more uninterested and annoyed simultaneously, of course he wasn't liking where this was going.

'Will you go with me?' You finally blurted, feeling as though a mountain had been extracted off of your shoulders even though you hadn't had to deal with the difficult part yet.

It wasn't that he'd refuse to accompany you, because you knew that he'd jump at the chance to be there alongside you, he needed to keep his eye on you after all. It was more the fact he knew you didn't like any sort of dinner or lunch when it was with him and his family and friends, upsetting him at how eager you were for your job.

'Is your boss going to be there?' He asked, monotone as he sat upright beside you.

'Well yes. Is that an issue?' You politely asked, cosying up to him to try and sweeten him up.

'You know I can't stand him.'

'I know baby, but it's only for a few hours.' You tried persuading him, even though he still didn't seem convinced.

'I'll see if I'm free.' He said with his robotic voice, pulling out his phone which was his way of saying he was done with the conversation.

'You're not upset with me are you?' You asked, gazing at his face to try make sense of his expression, and all he did was shrug to prove you right.

'What's up? What did I do?' You pushed, aware you should just leave it, you had gotten a solid answer from him and this would just worsen things.

'Nothing, that's the problem. You don't do anything besides this job.' He groaned

'Come on Trent that's not fair, how many times do I have to explain myself? I need this promotion.'

'No, you want this promotion. I give you enough money to survive without this job.' He snapped, it was always the same argument and he never understood your point of view.

'Is it too much to want something I've done by myself?' You explained, trying your hardest to remain patient with him as another argument was the last thing you needed.

'I'm not arguing with you about this, I said I'd come to your dinner, now don't talk to me about this again.' He groaned, getting up to storm to the bathroom, leaving you to go to bed upset with each other another night.

----------

Days had passed, and he'd been sweeter towards you.

Sure there were his passive aggressive comments which ticked you off the most but you kept your cool with him, knowing what he was like and knowing you had to suck up to him so he'd act right during this dinner.

You kind of hoped he'd drop out of it, tell you he was sick or busy and let you go by yourself, but he was adamant and here you both were the day of, getting ready just before you were due to leave.

You were wearing a long low cut black dress, tight at your waist and hips but formal enough for the dinner. Trent had bought it for you months ago, but being the homebody you were you hadn't had the chance to wear it anywhere, deciding it would be perfect for tonight and it'd cheer him up seeing you in something he had purchased for you.

He joined you in your closet a few moments later, sneaking up from behind you and startling you slightly as he wrapped his arms around your waist, kissing your neck in approval.

'You look beautiful.' He told you, making you blush.

'Thank you handsome.' You smiled, turning around to hug him as he kissed you repeatedly.

'Go change.' He told you, his smile still prominent on his face as yours dropped.

You let go of him to re evaluate your outfit in the mirror.

'What's wrong with it?' You asked him, attempting to pull your dress up to hide your exposed cleavage, unsure whether or not that was the issue.

'Is dressing like a whore how you were planning on getting that promotion?' He rudely asked, catching you off guard.

'Show me some respect. You bought me the dress and I thought it'd be nice if I wore it.' You backed, seriously annoyed with his comments, but it's not like this was anything new.

'I'm not gonna ask you again Y/n, go change.' He finally said, before walking off.

You joined him in the car a few moments later, a few moments too long as you had to hold back your tears before facing him, and you were disgusted to see him in such a good mood in the car.

'This is that place with the really good truffle fries.' He told you, reaching for your hand as he drove.

You rejected his hand, instead turning away from him, not caring at all for what he had to say, and you could feel his gaze on you due to what you did.

'Don't be upset baby. You know I only made you change because I love you.' He claimed.

'You're mine, no one else needs to see you like that.' He continued, this time picking your hand up and pressing a kiss on it.

'You know that don't you?'

'Yes.' You said, just to shut him up, to stop his voice from pestering you any longer as he was not about to ruin your night, and ruin your chances.

After a painful journey you reached the restaurant, leaping out of the car before Trent had a chance to open your door for you, and you had to admit it was comical watching him struggle to keep up with you as you entered before him.

The two of you approached your boss, who's tacky red velvet suit could be seen from miles away as he ushered you over.

'Here's the beautiful girl!' He joked, as you internally cringed knowing Trent would not be happy hearing those words, no matter how many times you told him that's just your boss's personality, that although you didn't like it either you knew he didn't mean any actual harm by his flirtatious comments.

He pulled you in for a hug, not helping your case at all as his hands lingered on your bum when they shouldn't have been anywhere near there in the first place, and if there's one thing you knew, it was that you and Trent were most definitely going to argue because of this.

'Nice to meet you mate, that was quite a result last night eh?' He laughed, mocking the loss Trent suffered in yesterday's game as he shook his hand, and all Trent did was smile before you got to your seats.

You could feel Trent's cold gaze on you from your peripheral vision, he wasn't impressed at all and you knew you'd be facing the wrath of it all night.

'You okay? Ignore him, he's just like that whatever.' You tried telling him, leaning in to his side as everyone remained busy in conversation.

'Don't talk to me.' He simply said, making you back away in hopes no one on the table heard that.

And you did just that, you didn't talk to him and he didn't talk to you. Your food was right in front of you but you had a hard time eating it distracted by how Trent wouldn't stop talking to your coworker Amanda, sat adjacent to him.

If you weren't pissed off already, her deafening laugh was sure to sour your mood, unsure what she was laughing at as you knew Trent, and you knew he was not that funny, pinching him with extra force to get him to stop.

At least your boss was there to make small talk with you, and you almost felt bad for reciprocating it until you had seen how extra Trent was being with Amanda, which was why you felt no guilt at all pulling out your best tricks to keep your boss happy and secure that promotion.

'What do you think of the food love?' He asked you, pushing you to try one of the oysters in front of you.

You were never a fan of them, and Trent knew this as no matter how many times he had tried persuading you to try them when you went out to eat you wouldn't oblige, which is why he was especially pissed off that you didn't hesitate to give them a go for him.

'Anything for you boss.' You joked, winking, knowing Trent was watching the entire thing enraged.

It wasn't until you felt him from under the table, gripping your thigh with force as you fought back the urge to slap his hand away. You tried prying his hands off of you but his grip was too strong, and you couldn't help but scratch his arm in a bid to get him off.

He pulled away immediately, inspecting his wrist to see a small cut form, but you didn't even feel an ounce of remorse for him, what was he thinking pulling a stunt like that at the dinner table in front of your colleagues?

Your eyes were welling up with tears no matter how much you tried getting them to stop, the whole argument before you left, Trent telling you not to talk to him, him flirting with your co-worker, your boss non stop talking, all of it was hitting you concurrently and you had to get away.

'Excuse me.' You said, before getting up and making your way to the toilets.

You stood in there a while, trying to calm yourself down and take deep breaths before you retuned. You caught a glimpse of yourself in the mirror, and all you saw was a tired and weak body looking right back at you, was this even worth it?

Maybe staying at home for him all day wouldn't be that bad, he loved you at the end of the day regardless of his actions, maybe he'd be nicer to you if you did that for him.

Your deep thoughts were interrupted when someone stormed in after you, and memorising the pattern of the footsteps you knew it was Trent, which was your cue to leave.

'What's wrong?' He asked, grabbing a hold of your arm to prevent you from leaving.

'Shut the fuck up.' You said, out of anger and not wanting to talk to him at all right now as you attempted to walk past. You were done going out of your way to avoid him getting mad at you, you were the one mad at him this time and rightfully so.

'Let me go Trent.' You sighed, as he pulled you in for a hug instead.

'It's okay.' He whispered, as you defeatedly let him hold you.

'I'm exhausted.' You told him, not even able to cry from how fed up you were.

'I know, we're almost done baby, they just brought out dessert. They have that cheesecake you like.' He told you, making you face him as he held your face, unaware how he was so nonchalant all the time, you wished you could be like that, without a care in the world.

'I love you.' You told him, as he kissed your forehead.

'I love you too.' He said, before letting go of you.

'I just want you to rethink this for me. Is choosing your job over us really the right decision?' He finally said, leaving you alone as he walked out of the bathroom.

You could've sworn you were going to be sick, you didn't need ultimatums from him right now to add to your growing list of misery. You wished you could've ran out there and told everyone including Trent to fuck off. You wanted to tell all of your annoying doubtful coworkers off; to grab Amanda by the hair even though it wasn't her fault your boyfriend wouldn't stop entertaining her. You wanted to cut your boss's ugly suit up and tell him to stop with the inappropriate comments, to stop being so touchy, and most of all you wanted to free yourself from Trent's hold, to tell him to leave you alone and that your life doesn't revolve around him.

But that would only be possible if you had the guts, which everyone knew you didn't. So you very maturely composed yourself before stepping back out there, joining everyone to see them already tucking in to dessert.

The first thing you noticed was how affectionate Trent was being with you, he kissed your cheek which was rare from him as you both knew he wasn't a fan of PDA.

He placed his hand on your thigh, startling you slightly, but giving you the all clear as he rubbed over your newly formed bruise soothingly.

What shocked you the most was the effort he was putting in with your boss, with the two of them repeatedly cracking jokes about football and you could tell he was making a good impression on him with the conversation turning to talk about you.

'She's so work obsessed, sometimes I think she loves her job more than me.' He laughed, as you smiled next to him, aware he meant what he said even if he disguised it with a grin.

'I know, I've never met anyone more hardworking than her.' Your boss revealed, warranting unhappy looks from the rest of your colleagues as he sung your praises, but all you could think about was how smitten you were with Trent at the moment.

The night eventually came to an end, hours of agonising socialisation had drained you and you couldn't wait to leave, promising yourself that all conversation about work would vanish when you got home.

You were about to leave noticing Trent wasn't beside you anymore, turning to see him deep in conversation with your boss, the two of them nodding and smiling at each other like they were in love. A part of you feared what he could be saying, but judging by the looks on their faces it had to be positive.

'Sorry about that, come on.' He told you, placing his arm around you as he walked you to the car.

'What was all that about?' You smirked, putting your seatbelt on as he backed out of the car park, simply winking at you as you pushed for more.

'If my girl wants a promotion then a promotion is what she'll get.' He simply said, his grin peeking through as you slapped his shoulder in excitement.

'You're joking?' You exclaimed.

'Nope. Had to endure him talking about how City are the best team on earth for you. Was hard to resist the urge of slapping him.' He joked, making you laugh.

You had completely forgotten about the intense night by the time you got home. His good mood staying as he helped you out of your dress.

'I'm not sure if I say it often, but I'm so thankful for you.' You told him, as he kissed your neck.

'I'm thankful for you too.'

'But can I ask you something?' You whispered, wrapping your arms around his neck as he nodded.

'You said sometimes you think I love my job more than you. Do you really think that of me?' You asked, a little hurt.

'If you know what's best then you won't pick a fight with me right now.' He sighed, kissing you as he went off to bed.

You joined him moments later after you completed your skincare routine, sneaking in and cuddling up next to him.

'I wasn't trying to pick a fight.' You said, making him laugh as he put the duvet over you.

'I know, and I'm sorry about tonight.' He said.

'You redeemed yourself, let's just forget about it. We'll find out if your charm worked tomorrow or not.' You smiled, realising he had already dozed off..

---------

You spent the entire day working your ass off. It was definitely hard to resist the urge to puke every time your boss made a cringy comment, but nonetheless you powered through with your eyes on the prize.

Your colleagues hated you, and you didn't even blame them because the lengths you had been going through the last couple of months were obscene for this promotion. You were sure you had fumbled it due to your bad mood last night, thankful of Trent for turning it around even though it was his fault you were in a mood in the first place.

Your whole life you were just known as his plus one. You couldn't count the amount of times you had been labelled a 'gold digger', those people didn't know your struggles and when you voiced it to Trent he would simply tell you to grow up, to ignore them and that it didn't matter because you knew they weren't right and that's all that matters.

It was easy for him to say though, being a big time footballer he'd never relate to your feeling of inferiority, which is why it pained you to know he wasn't supportive at all of you making your own name and wanting your own wages aside from his money.

You resented yourself for thinking so negatively, but the truth was that sometimes you and Trent fought so hard you didn't see any way of making it out with him. You feared it would just end in heartbreak which is why you needed your plan B incase things ever went to shit completely. You couldn't just live off of him your whole life.

With the promotion you'd be able to work from home and spend time with him; a win win situation which he didn't seem to understand. As much as he made it out as though he was only mad because of how busy you are, you feared he was more mad you wouldn't have to depend on him anymore, that you'd be able to leave him..

You remember voicing this theory to your mum a while ago, which she shut down completely. 'Don't be silly.' She said, 'It's just your insecurities talking.' 'Trent would never think like that.'

Finally it was the end of the day and time for his announcement. You knew you had this in the bag, your boss wouldn't look away from you the entire time he was rambling on, which is why you were shocked to hear him call out Amanda's name.

Amanda?

Listening to her incredibly squeaky voice give a thank you speech was tortuous, the woman wouldn't move from her seat the entire day let alone be manager worthy, and it wasn't just you who was shocked as the entire office had confusion plastered all over their faces.

It wasn't until your boss stepped down and everyone went to congratulate her that you went to follow behind him.

'What made you pick Amanda?' You bluntly and quite rudely questioned.

'Because she's the right fit, why else?' He joked.

'Sorry, but I've been putting in way more effort than her. I've been bending over backwards for this company for fuck's sake.' You claimed, not caring how unprofessional and bitter you sounded.

'I know that Y/n, and as much as I wanted to give it to you, it's just not ideal for you to have this job.' He shrugged, too busy with whatever it was he was looking at on his phone.

'Not ideal? What does that mean?'

'Well you know with you not being sure whether or not you're going to stay here or not.' He revealed, distracted by the incoming call coming through to him.

'Sorry? What are you talking about?' You enquired, overwhelmed.

'Look I'm far too busy right now, if you want to continue this conversation you can find me later.' He whispered, walking off.

There was no way you were spending another minute in that building, rushing to get home so you could cry yourself to sleep in frustration, annoyed at all the effort you had put in for nothing.

You knew Trent was home upon entering as he'd left his training bag in the hallway, another little thing that had ticked you off.

'Y/n, you home?' He shouted, which you ignored as you stormed upstairs, needing to free yourself from the suffocating pantsuit you were wearing and hopping into the shower.

You pretty much cried all of your annoyances out in there, not wanting to look vulnerable in front of Trent who you knew was going to be upset as he had put in quite a bit of effort too, rare as he was not the socialising type at all, but he did it because he loved you.

When you came back down you saw him snuggled on the sofa with your puppy, patting the space next to him to invite you to join them too.

You fell into his embrace, absolutely drained and in need of his affection as you hugged him, eyes glossy.

'What's up?' He asked, as you straddled him and let your tears out.

'I didn't get it T. Amanda did.' You explained, watching as he looked equally as upset for you.

'I was so sure it was going to be me.' You frowned, as he rubbed your back.

'I know, it's okay.' He calmly said.

'It's not okay. All that effort for nothing, whilst he came up with bizarre excuses as to why he didn't give it to me.' You cried.

'I think I'll confront him tomorrow about it. Because there's no way he can give it to her over me?' You rambled.

'Maybe this is a good thing, maybe this was supposed to happen.' Trent said, cutting you off.

'What?' You said.

'You can stay with me more, I've got an abundance of money for you, you can leave your job.' He sweetly said, as you tried getting off of him.

'You're not making sense.' You argued, as he pulled you back down on to him,

'I'm making perfect sense you're just not trying to understand.' He fought, angry now, leaving you in silence as you studied him.

'I'm such an idiot.' You sighed, rubbing your head in frustration.

'No you're not Y/n.' He assured you, wiping one of your tears.

'It was you wasn't it? You said something to him.' You accused, as he didn't even try to prove his innocence.

'Tell me what you said.' You demanded, his silence aggravating you.

'It doesn't matter, if you were worthy of the promotion my words would have no effect.' He shrugged.

'Oh my God.' You cried, forcing him to let go of you as you stormed upstairs.

'Y/n wait.' He called, following after you.

You sat on the bed, in shock at what you'd found out, shielding your face to prevent him from seeing the state you were in.

'How could you do this? You know how badly I wanted this.'

'Too badly. More than you wanted me and it was unhealthy.' He tried telling you, forcing you to look up at him.

'This is unhealthy Trent!' You shouted.

'Calm down.'

'I don't even recognise you, how dare you?'

'I did it because I love you.' He whispered, pulling you in for a hug, a hug which you didn't even realise you returned, letting him hold you as you cried it out.

'No job or promotion could make you as happy as I could. It's my job to take care of you and provide for you, you hear me?' He affirmed.

'You're so selfish.' You told him, quietening down slightly.

'I know, but you'll forgive me.' He finally said, kissing your forehead as you remained intertwined.

[reesiereads]

James and the Dupes (Goosebumps 2023 Analysis 3/5)

If you haven’t read the previous two parts of this analysis I highly recommend you do, however the jist is that I am attempting to show how each Biddle item is purposely symbolic of the kid it’s tied to.

I’ve already discussed Isaiah and Isabella so let’s talk about James.

(Spoilers below the cut, I seriously recommend watching the show first before reading, it’s definitely worth it)

James is the point of view for Goosebumps’ third episode The Cuckoo Clock of Doom, however James’ object is not the clock for which the episode is named. When listing the objects in Go Eat Worms Margot specifically says James’ object is the “dupes” aka the duplications of James that the clock created. I’ll be discussing the significance of this in a moment but keep this in mind.

The Cuckoo Clock of Doom starts once again the night of the Halloween party at the Biddle house and with James hitting his head for the first time on the cuckoo clock. James is disoriented and it’s implied he hit his head fairly hard but he decides to go through with the party anyway and it’s through his actions at the party this first go around that we see the most vital aspects of James’ character.

James goes throughout the party talking to just about everybody. He knows all their names, he’s personable and friendly, he’s a complete social butterfly. It’s very obvious though that he isn’t actually saying anything of substance; it’s all small talk. He knows everybody and everybody knows him but none of them are his actual friends. James’ demeanor through this scene is also very (for a lack of a better word) safe, it’s the sort of polite but casual tone you take when trying to make friendly small talk and it’s the sort of tone that while very forced very few people could take issue with.

When James stops to talk to Isaiah this very palatable tone fades but not completely, there’s still a very obvious amount of effort and energy being pushed into what James is saying. His words are casual but his body language and tone are practiced.

Essentially, James is a performer. His given description prior to the shows release labeled him as a “class clown” and this trope is a perfect encompassment of everything James embodies. He’s funny, he’s charming, just about everyone likes him but nobody actually knows him. He’s got a sort of casual confidence about him that is a complete act, but he’s so at arms-length with everyone around him that most don’t recognize his facade.

There are two relationships that perfectly show James’s true character: Sam and Isaiah.

Sam is the boy James likes but we aren’t given much of an indication why James like him other then that Sam is hot: this is deliberate.

See, Sam is the perfect vehicle to showing how James conducts most of his relationships. He approaches a person, he makes some small talk, he finds a topic the person likes and (whether he has any knowledge or interest in the subject) tries make himself palatable by discussing it. As a people-pleaser myself I can say with full confidence that this behavior is done with two goals in mind: to make the other person like him and to keep the conversation on the other person so he doesn’t have to talk about himself. This is the main reason Isaiah tells him he needs to stop trying so hard to be liked, because this people-pleasing behavior hinders James’ ability to form actual deep connections.

The reason James doesn’t take this advice is because that’s exactly what he wants. What the time loops reveal is that even when given the opportunity James will not be himself. He’s presented with the perfectly opportunity to try and be himself with Sam, being completely able to just reset the night once again if it goes wrong, and instead James abuses the time loop so that his lie about sharing interests with Sam will be more convincing.

This is further emphasized by the clones words to Sam. While yes, the clones are being purposely cruel to try and ruin James’ life, a majority of their words are rooted in some kind of truth. They are James and they are using the exact information and feelings James has to manipulate the people around them. When ruining James’ relationship with Sam the clone specifically states that Sam is “too clingy” and I believe this is the exact reason James was interested in Sam in the first place.

James went after Sam, a person he seemingly shared no interests with and only found attractive, because James assumed he could have a very (for a lack of a better word) shallow relationship with him. James was never looking for anything serious and his comment about “I don’t know anything about soccer but I don’t care because Sam is hot” emphasizes that. Why would James want a deep emotional connection with someone when he doesn’t even have a relationship like that with his best friend?

Isaiah is James’ best friend however his actual relationship with Isaiah seems to go roughly the same as his relationship with just about everyone else. Sure, they hang out a lot but most of their interactions seem to be James hearing Isaiah out about his issues and them talking about their crushes. Isaiah does question about James about how he’s doing but James either deflects or avoids the seriousness of the situation.

In The Cuckoo Clock of Doom Isaiah and James have a discussion after James’ botched attempt at talking with Sam. In this discussion Isaiah immediately knows James was not being himself when talking to Sam and encourages him just be himself rather then trying so hard to be liked. This, on it’s own, seems like reasonable advice however what’s interesting is James’ response: “that’s easy for you to say.”

Isaiah questions what he means by this and James, clearly uncomfortable, says nevermind and essentially forces the conversation to be dropped. Despite Isaiah being his best friend it’s very clear James is not comfortable being honest about his emotions with him.

The questions comes up again once James is found however and this time James is upset enough by the discovery that Isaiah, his best friend, doesn’t know him well enough to know if he’s a clone or not, that he elaborates. He states: “It is really hard to be 1 of 6 gay people in a town.”

The crux of James’ behavior, the reason he people-pleases and dances around serious topics is because he feels othered. He feels different from the people around him and he’s scared of the judgement that could come from that. A lot of his behavior reads as a sort of compensation, as if he’s trying to be as palatable as possible so people will like him despite the fact that he’s queer.

I imagine James also feels isolated the same way Isabella does, at least in an emotional sense. He keeps everyone at school at an arms-length and his relationship with his Mother is implied to be rather distant. She treats him more like a best friend then anything and paired with her alcoholism there is a very clear emotional wall between the two of them. There is no one James feels safe to confide in and I imagine it’s only worsened his feelings of otherness.

Now, finally, let’s discuss the Dupes:

The Biddle Clock and Dupes (roughly) work like this: When making contact with the clock a person is trapped into a time loop from the time of hitting the clock. The loop is restarted if the person attempts to leave the Biddle property. Every loop creates a duplicate of the person from an alternate timeline which Biddle is able to communicate with and who act as Biddle’s minions. The duplicates have all the information the original person had during the loop and, as their forms are goo of some kind, can likely change their appearance at will.

The duplicates take James’ place for roughly a week and during this time they set out to ruin James’ life as throughly as possible by destroying all his relationships. Sam is broken up with on ground of being “too clingy,” Isaiah’s relationship with Allison is worsened and his feelings for Margot are revealed which are things James likely knew a lot about as Isaiah’s friend not to mention the clone picking on Isaiah’s insecurities, and based on the comments about James’ mother James feels some resentment for his Mom’s behavior which the clone is more open about then James would be.

No one recognizes that the clones have taken James’ place despite them not acting very in-character. The people the clones strive to ruin James’ relationships with also all react very volatile to the clones’ behavior, showing how despite James’ efforts to be very likable his efforts haven’t fostered very strong relationships.

The message of the episode is fairly clear: If you keep everyone around you at arms-length and try too hard to be likable then you are inevitably going to be isolated as none of your relationships will have any kind of stable foundation.

[whumpshaped]

whumptober 12

prompt list masterlist

tw abandonment, past trauma, rocky recovery, self-doubt, self-worth issues

"I'm up, I'm up!" Whumpee tried to sound convincing as they attempted to put on a shirt in their half-asleep state, very eager to prove that they were still part of the team. "Where are we off to? What happened?"

Their teammates were rushing in and out of the room as they were getting ready, sparing them no more than a few nervous glances; Whumpee was starting to think no one was even going to answer them. It was Caretaker who eventually walked over to their bed and placed a hand on their shoulder, looking apologetic.

"Whumpee, uh... I appreciate the enthusiasm. We all do..." Whumpee's chest was beginning to feel a little tight at the tone, but they straightened their back and feigned nonchalance. If only straightening their back hurt a little less, maybe they would've looked more unbothered. "But I don't think you should come with us on this quest. You're basically still recovering."

"I'm not! I'm as fine as I'm ever gonna be! Is this about me needing a cane now? I won't slow you down!" They sounded desperate, even to their own ears. They hated it. But they hated the notion of being left behind even more.

"No, listen... Listen to me. We've worked alongside each other for decades, you know you can trust me. So please, trust me when I say this isn't the quest for you."

Whumpee opened their mouth to answer, but nothing came out. Their facade was crumbling at a rapid speed. "It is about the state my body's in, isn't it? Don't lie, please. Not you. We– we all know I'm not in recovery. We all know this isn't gonna get any better. Is this it for me? Am I not–" Their voice broke, and they couldn't ignore the tears shining in their friend's eyes either. "Am I not of any use anymore? Will I never go on a quest with you again?"

Caretaker carefully sat down on the bed next to them, then took a slow, deep breath. "You're right," they said eventually, and it looked as though the words hurt them just as much as they hurt Whumpee. "We've been dancing around this entire topic because... because you're such an integral part of the team. We couldn't imagine the team without you. We told ourselves you would get better, and everything would go back to normal." Caretaker cleared their throat, probably looking for the right words to let them down.

"It doesn't have to go back to normal," Whumpee tried. "I'm telling you, I can handle myself. I can– I can do just as much as any of the newbies–"

"Whumpee..."

They sighed, the last of their hope leaving them on the exhale. Right. They were being ridiculous. "I get it," they said quietly. "Thanks for being honest with me. It's... certainly better than leading me on." They wiped away a tear, trying to keep it together for just a few more minutes. "I'll get out of here as soon as I can find a place for myself."

Caretaker's eyes widened. "Get out? Whumpee–"

"I don't want to be a fucking burden. You should already be on your way with the rest of the team, and yet here you are consoling me."

"No, no, Whumpee..." Caretaker took their hand in their own, looking into their eyes with sincerity they hadn't experienced in months. "The team and I have decided that it's best for you to stay out of quests, yes. I'm sorry that none of us was brave enough to tell you that directly. But Whumpee, look around– we're full of new members. New members who would be honoured to learn from you. We thought... we thought it'd be incredible if you could teach the newer generation everything you've learned."

Whumpee blinked, confused and speechless. "Me? Teaching..?"

Caretaker nodded. "Only if you want to, of course. But make no mistake — nobody wants you to leave. You're family, Whumpee. You're so amazing at what you do. And, well..." They chuckled, shrugging a little. "I'm not young anymore either. This is likely my last quest. After this, we could... we could start properly training the newer guys.

Together."

~

general drabbles taglist: @ashh-ed @whumpsday @whump-queen @the-scrapegoat @hidden-dreamland @rosewriteswhump @dismemberment-on-a-tuesday-night @whumpkinpie @delicateprincepaper @whumppmuhw @whump-em @cyborg0109 @morning-star-whump @justanotherlokifan @2in1whump @lthrboy @justletmereadmywhump @florissimps

[mateoluvr]

what are you hiding?

gekko/mateo x f!reader

wc: 3k | angst | tw: mentions of wounds, blood + gunshots

context: you are unaware of this ‘agent life’ that he held. it gave a bad impression onto you one day when he comes home extremely late in the night, covered up in wounds. and he refused to explain himself. 

a/n: i tried to add like a scene at the very end.. and im lowkey questioning myself if i did ok with it or not LMAO anyways enjoy!! took all my writing juice from today on this :’> 

after another excruciating long day of work, you left the office to be greeted with pouring rain from the gloomy sky at the entrance. 

oh great. 

you groaned, you didn’t have an umbrella with you. so you decided to go to  a nearby café to wait out the rain, because you weren’t about to walk home and end up getting drenched. 

you ordered a small coffee with two sugar and one cream, and sat down at a table. you pulled out your laptop and decided to work on other assignments at the very least if you wanted time to pass by quickly. before you knew it, a few hours had passed since you got to the café. you check the time on your phone, and was shocked to see you’ve been there for three hours. it was now 10pm, and you got there around 7pm-ish. you quickly packed your things, and left. but of course it was still raining, but at least it was just a drizzle so it was bearable to walk home through. 

once you got home, you call out your boyfriend’s name.

“mateo! i’m home.” 

no one answered back though, which you found odd since he was usually home by now. you checked your phone to see if he texted you or anything, and to your surprise there was no trace of him. you sighed, and just decided to go shower to ease yourself. 

after that, you decided to cook up something quick and made an extra portion for mateo whenever he came back. 

another hour passes, you already ate while his food was still sitting there, and he was still absent. you started to worry, and decided to try to call him, but immediately got sent to voicemail.

‘the person you were trying to call is unable to pick up the phone at this very moment. please try again later’

confusion and frustration was all you could feel at that very moment. 

where the hell was mateo? 

you ended up shaking it off, and just packing his food portion and placing it in the fridge for him to eat later. you took a sticky note and wrote ‘there’s food in the fridge’ and placed it on the counter so he knew whenever he decided to come back. 

as you got in bed, in defeat of trying to stay up for mateo you felt your phone vibrating against your skin. it was a call from your boyfriend. you perked up and answered.

“hello?”

“hermosa, can you open the door? i forgot my keys.” 

“okay teo, give me a second.” as you hang up, walking down the stairs to make sure you don’t accidentally trip. you unlocked the door, and before you greeted mateo, you couldn’t help but notice the bandages and bruises he had around the exposed parts on his body. 

did he get into a fight?

no. he couldn’t have. 

you knew him, he wasn’t that type of guy. or was he..? you were immediately snapped back into reality, when your boyfriend was calling your name, waving at you.

“earth to y/n, you okay?” he asks out of curiosity, because he saw your eyebrows furrow when you glanced at him.

“oh sorry.. here come in.” as you walked away from the entrance so he could come in. as he got settled, you started to question the bandages and what-not.

“mateo.. are you okay? you’re all wrapped up.” the concern in your voice was noticeable. 

“i’m fine cariño, please don’t worry.” he tries to reassure you, but you didn’t buy it.

“can you at least tell me what happened, and why’d you come home so late..?” 

“it’s nothing that imporant y/n, por favor odio cuando estas preocupado.” he replied with dread in his voice. 

mateo tries his best to change the topic, and ends up convincing you that he was fine. but you couldn’t help but feel this ominous gut feeling, deep down you knew he was probably hiding something from you, but couldn’t pinpoint why or what he was keeping secret from you. 

“if you say so then, i left some food for you in the fridge, i’m going to go to sleep it’s late.” you yawned, picking yourself up the stairs.

“gracias, goodnight bebé, please sleep well.” 

as days go by, you come home to no one, mateo coming home very later than usual. you hated this new regular thing, and your suspicions about mateo grew by the day. you couldn’t shrug off the fact that he was hiding something from you, knowing he wasn’t someone to lie or keep secrets from you. so, why was he doing it now? did you do something wrong? so many negative questions to yourself rushing through your mind, it killed you not knowing the truth. your intrusive thoughts got the best of you. which ended up you going into his room looking through his things in any hopes of context clues. part of you felt guilty for snooping this low, scrummaging through his belongings. you ended up finding some pieces of paper labeled “valorant protocol,” and him going by a codename of “gekko.” you were intrigued wondering what’s this?

you read the notes, one reading 

“..gekko we need you in tomorrow. you, astra, harbor, and neon are going to go to 14°07'AD.4"N8 74°53'XY"E8 to investigate the sites. we’ve gotten reports of radianite being present, please report in the commons room by 7am sharp tomorrow.”

-brimstone

huh? who are all those people, and what was ‘radianite’? you puzzled. you look through the rest of the pile, and all of the messages seem to be around the same, with different coordinates and names each time. but, even with these clues you couldn’t  figure out what this truly meant. sure, he definitely is hiding something, but what does all this mean? you tried to see if there was anything else, and ended up finding his extra id card attached to a lanyard at the very bottom of his nightstand’s drawer. his face was on it, along with his alias ‘gekko,’ the name you know him by, and his agent number (22) it presumes? 

before being able to process it, your phone rang. it was from an unknown number. you picked up, and before you knew it tears trickled down your face. you got news that mateo was in the hospital. you left his room in a messy state you created, trying to get to the hospital as fast as your two feet could get you. you were out of breath by the time you got there. 

you ran to the receptionist desk to figure out what room your boyfriend was in. 

“our patient mateo should be in room 215-a ma’am.” the receptionist informed you. 

you went straight up, and practically barged the door to his ward open. you saw him hooked up to an iv pump. you ran towards him, calling out his name in an unsteady tone. he was unconscious. the doctor walks in a few minutes after your arrival, explaining what happened. 

“he is currently in critical condition, we are unsure if he’ll be up anytime soon- or even make it i’m sorry ma’am.” 

you were in denial, there’s no way your loved one was right there in front of you in that state. 

as the doctor tries to keep his professionalism, deep down he felt bad for you, you sat there beside mateo weeping. 

“..i’ll give you some space ma’am, once again i’m sorry.” the doctor walks out, closing the door to contain your privacy, but someone else ended up entering. it was a tall broad man, who wore a greenish-jacket. unsure, of who he was you were startled, which also startled him.

“who are you?” you asked while wiping your tears away from your face with your shirt’s sleeves.

“oh hello there, i’m harbor, gekko’s coach, and you are?”

“i’m y/n, mat- gekko’s girlfriend.” you stuttered, still getting used to this unfamiliar name he also went by.

“ah, i see, he talks about you a lot when we’re training. the boy has the attention span of a goldfish.” he jokes trying to brighten up the room’s sorrowful presence.

you appreciated his attempt to cheer you up a bit, but couldn’t bring your mind off the motionless mateo laying on the hospital cot.

“mr. harbor, do you know what happened to him?” you turned to him, seeing his eyebrows furrow realizing how bad of a state mateo was currently in.

“i- yes i do.” he replied grabbing a chair placing it aside you. he started from the beginning.

[flashback to the day of the 14°07'AD.4"N8 74°53'XY"E8 investigation mission]

“alright agents, you are now entering the city of flowers, please be careful and wary of your surroundings as this area is currently unfamiliar to us.” brimstone says through the earpiece.

“‘gotcha jefa.” gekko replies in a playful tone.

the four agents go to the center, and workout a plan before heading to their designated places.

“okay, astra and neon, you two explore site c, i’ll take gekko with me to explore site a. we’ll meet back up on site b, copy that?” harbor explains.

they all nod, taking off to their sites. as gekko and harbor reached site a after a few minutes of following a map with the area’s layout they hear there was another person following them.

“coach.. did’ya hear that?”

harbor nods in agreement, and asks him to send dizzy out to scout close by. he takes dizzy out of his pouch, and sends her up.

“up you go!” dizzy doesn’t catch anything, and drops back down.

“you did good.” gekko whispers retrieving her back.

“that’s odd.. i swore that footstep was nearby.”

“well, she didn’t see anything so i guess we’re just hearing things coach.”

“maybe we’re paranoid, but please keep your guard up still, that’s the only information we have as of right now.”

they continued to slowly explore site a, but gekko ends up wandering somewhere else without harbor noticing until it was too late. a gun shot was fired, harbor was alerted, and turned his back to see gekko missing.

???

harbor yelled out his name, not knowing where he could’ve went he comms into his earpiece that he’s missing to the other two. neon and astra ran towards harbor’s location immediately.

“gekko, do you copy!?”

there was no answer, but a few more gunshots were fired from afar. so the three went closer to the sounds.

“water rising!” harbor walls the nearby entrances to make some space.

“how’d you even lose the boy in the first place?” astra questioned harbor.

“i let him out of my sight for a few minutes, and he disappeared.”

“guys! there’s people shooting ‘round here let’s talk later and find gekko first please.” neon rolled her eyes.

“right, we have gekko to worry about right now.”

as they fought with enemies who are present, neon spots the blatant neon green hair boy nearby.

“gekko’s over by a link guys!” she shouts to the others, throwing her wall up to safely cross.

she’s greeted with gekko’s critters all worried about him, wingman especially. she sees the small yellow blob shaking his legs in hopes of a response, but he was already out cold.

“guys! assistance needed, gekko’s unresponsive.”

“blocking fire!” harbor throws out his cove onto neon and gekko.

“this sucks, sage isn’t here to heal him back up.”

“well we have to get out of this predicament quickly, this boy needs serious medical attention or he’s not going to make it,” astra comments.

“brimstone, do you read me?” harbor comms into his earpiece.

“affirmative.”

“sir, gekko needs help immediately, he’s losing blood by the second.”

brimstone notices, as he goes to check gekko’s vitals on his pad.

“this damn boy, always getting into trouble.. alright i’ll try my best to send support immediately, try your best to make your way back to starting location.”

“copy that.” harbor replies.

harbor quickly explains the plan to astra and neon.

“alright i’ll watch over gekko, you two hold b upper and b main for a bit in case if there’s anymore enemies.”

they nodded, and held their said angles while harbor looks through the area’s layout map to see the safest way back to their starting point. he ends up deciding to shoot through a link’s door, then he’ll wall off the close angles so the three could get out with gekko.

“danger close, neon watch out!” astra yells as she saw a glimpse of a guy around b link, and pushes neon out of the way to shoot at them.

“wow.. salamat astra- wait another one incoming, watch out to the left astra!” 

multiple gunshots were being fired from both sides until astra decided they should get going now since being enclosed in a small area wasn’t ideal.

“we should fall back, i’ll wall off our a link to buy us some time.” astra says going into astral form as she sets out her cosmic divide. 

“i’ll carry gekko, you two just fend them off while we make our way got it?”

as they fought their way out, they ended making it out safely without anyone obtaining major injuries, at most a few scratches. brimstone’s backup support ends up arriving, and they board onto the helicopter he sent out. the three agents panted, tired out from all the havoc that just went down.

“we’re going to have to bring gekko to a regular hospital back in california, sage isn’t at base currently so she’s unable to aid the boy.” brimstone looks at gekko’s body, covered in red. his vest was stained in blood from the gunshot wounds around his chest.

[end of flashback]

fast forward, harbor covered everything that went down which led to mateo being in that state.

“it’s completely my fault he’s like this, i’m sorry dear.” harbor sighs, guilt visible in his voice.

you both sit there in silence, mourning until a miracle happened as mateo slowly regains his consciousness.

“ugh.. w-where am i?” gekko mutters. you and harbor immediately putting your attention onto mateo.

“mateo!” you cried, you wanted to hug him but you decided not to because he was probably still in pain.

“bebé..?” mateo uses the strength that he has to turn his head towards your familiar voice.

“please don’t scare me like that again.”

“good to see you awake gekko, are you alright?”

you both aid him to sit up from the bed, as mateo recollects his thoughts.

“..how’d i end up here?” he asks the both of you, rubbing his eyes.

“i let you out of my sight for a second and you were gone before i knew it gekko, don’t wander off like that again next time you got me and the others worried sick.”

“i’m sorry coach..” gekko frowned, lowering his head in embarrassment.

“mateo, why didn’t you just tell me in the first place about this job you had?”

he stays quiet, but he knew he couldn’t get his way out of this question this time like he did last time you asked.

“oh? gekko never told you about this?” harbor asks in surprise.

“no, he did not.” you sighed in disappointment.

“coach, may i have a minute with y/n?” mateo requested from his mentor.

“ah right, i’ll get going now please have a safe recovery i’ll see you later.” harbor gets up from his chair, and waves goodbye before leaving the ward.

now it was just the two of you in the room.

“i-i’m sorry i lied about my occupation y/n..” he stutters.

“so.. why’d you do what you did mateo?”

“i didn’t want you to worry about me if i ever got hurt. y’know how much i hate seeing you like how you are right now!” he says as he examined your slightly puffy eyes from the crying you did earlier.

“i know how much of a hard trabajadora you are y/n, i don’t want to stress you out more than you already are from work.”

“mateo.. i-”

“i know i’m the worst novio ever! i shouldn’t have had you found out about it like this.. just mírame, i have ivs all hooked up onto me.” he shouts, with a urge to just burst out crying right there and then.

you could see your boyfriend all teary, and you gently pat his back as a signal to him to just let it out; and that you’d be there to comfort him. so he did, he dreaded you seeing him like this, but he couldn’t bottle up his emotions anymore. he wanted you to look up to him, which is why he always kept this strong composure of his, but he just felt like a complete disappointment as of then. 

“teo it’s okay, don’t say that about yourself, your job is clearly more stressing than mine i get it.” you try to reassure him as he sniffled.

“te prometa que, i won’t keep any secrets from you anymore from here on out y/n! mark my words.” he lifts his pinky up, showing he’s making a pinky promise with you.

“that’s what i like to hear.” you replied in relief, as you laced your fingers as you mutually agreed on the promise.

..and after that, everyday after work you’d come visit him for a few hours to check up on him. it went like that for a few weeks before he was able to get discharged from the hospital with a full recovery!

thank god.

you couldn’t imagine a world without mateo, you knew he was a strong guy, and he ended up getting through it thankfully. when everything went back to normal, brimstone let mateo on a break since he’s been working constantly lately and decided that it would be the best for him. you were glad, and with the time off mateo was given, he never left your sight. he ended up introducing you to the other agents in the protocol, all of them complimenting you in different ways. or, he’d take you on dates like he did in the beginning, oh how you missed those days

[retrobr]

Lazytown Shenanigans Pt. 3

I can state with all confidence that "The Holiday Spirit" episode is one of the best episodes in the whole show. I was smiling like an idiot while watching it and nearly cried out of joy in the end, THIS WAS SO FREAKING GOOD OMG-

But I need to calm down for a minute.

So,

"The Holiday Spirit."

This episode has very strong found-family vibes in my opinion. I just wasn't able to help myself but feel warm and fuzzy inside when I was watching characters interactions; they are so precious to me... And, as I mentioned in the very first "Lazytown Shenanigans" post, I absolutely adore Christmas atmosphere in the movies and such stuff, so it was the first signal that I might like this episode.

But let's talk about the most important detail of this episode: Robbie's behavior. I just- I- dudes. WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM?? HE WAS SO NICE AND SWEET, AND OH MY FREAKING GOD I AM ACTUALLY CRYING BECAUSE OF THIS?? 

He didn't even do anything bad at all. AT ALL. I mean yes, it all started with the fact that he wanted to get a gift, but the whole thing kinda snowballed and after that he started behaving better and better. I mean, he was pretty happy to help Stephanie and other folks, and oh my god, this excitement in his voice when he greeted the gang... 

And the fact that he actually wanted and tried to be nice for once. He didn't do any name-calling or nasty things; he didn't even react to Sportacus' appearance in the house (but we'll talk about it a little later, mmhhmm.) HE EVEN VOLUNTEERED HIMSELF TO COOK A FUCKING TURKEY, AND THE GANG ACTUALLY INVITED HIM TO THE CHRISTMAS PARTY, AND HE WAS SO FREAKING HAPPY!! This once again confirms that people love him even when he acts not that well and he also loves them too, secretly of course. I want to cry this is so precious 😭😭

And the final scene when the kids and others went to his lair to congratulate him personally, and the expression on his face when he saw them all... My heart is melting; I can't stand this amount of adorable interaction between kids and Robbie. God bless them 🥺

Speaking of adorable interactions, I literally shed a small and very manly tear in the scene when Santa visited kids without any presents, and they convinced him that it's totally fine. Santa is just so nice, and I can't stand it when such wonderful and kind characters are sad. I literally want to cry again while writing this (I'm a very sentimental and pathetic creature, you guys should be aware of that lol.)

But let's touch on the topic of a little funny thing. Robbie's turkey knocked out Santa's sleigh. THE WAY I SNORTED WHEN I SAW THIS OMG 😭💀 And Sportacus' reaction like "what the heck was that-" WAS JUST A CHERRY ON TOP I CAN'T-

And finally, my darling beloved Sportacus and Robbie. :]. Their interaction was, oh finally, pretty nice and normal, even from Robbie's part, which surprised me VERY much. As I mentioned before, he didn't even react when Sport appeared in the house to help the gang, and WAIT. About the helping part: the very first person who he helped was exactly Robbie; and please don't tell me that "um, actually Sportacus needed a ladder and Robbie was stuck in this ladder mlem-mlem-mlem 🤓", I WHOLEHEARTEDLY ADORE THOSE DORKS, JUST LET ME BE DELUSIONAL FOR A MINUTE OK?? 

And HOOHEE that moment when Stingy and Robbie didn't appear at the Christmas party, and Sport sent the gang to find Stingy and went to Robbie's lair himself. Sorry I have a heart attack and I can't think straight, but HAHSHJAKA HELLO 😭😭 AND THEN ROBBIE PEEKED OUT OF HIS LAIR AND HIS HAPPY LITTLE "Sportacus 🥹" KILLED ME AND MY POOR DUMB HEART. HE DIDN'T EVEN INSULT HIM. FOR ONCE. I already said that but I want to cry, this episode is a golden one for me

I think I need to stop right here because I can ramble a lot and well. Yeah I should stop. Thanks for your guys attention if you read it till the end, as always :D

[wispofthevalley]

Rg drabbles #2: Preparation

Oscar took a deep breath, steeling himself before he raised a hand towards a heavy looking wooden door. He was alone now, Aunt em having turnt back after helping him carry the load, if he looked back he could probably spot her but it wouldn’t be long now before she was out of sight. 

He hesitated, wanting nothing more but to turn his back to the door and call her back to help him, but he wouldn’t, he had to do this alone. Realistically, he didn’t have to and Aunt Em would gladly help him if he booked it down the road to catch up to her and asked. Even if it would ease some of his anxiety, it felt weird to ask her for help with this part. She had helped enough already.

Before he could chicken out any further he rapped his knuckles on the door thrice, waiting for a response. And then waiting some more, and a little more, for a response that didn’t come. He stood there in awkward silence with nothing but his thoughts for a good bit, when he realised he should probably knock again.

And so he knocked, harder this time.And then proceeded to have his soul forcibly stripped from his body when he felt a hand come down on his shoulder.

“Oscar!” Taiyang said enthusiastically, patting him on the shoulder.

“Ah, good after- good morning Mr. Xiaolong,” he stuttered out, face already starting to flush from embarrassment.

“Sorry I didn’t hear you earlier, I was out in the garden. These plants won't take care of themselves ey?”

“It’s fine, I haven’t been here for long anyway,” he reassured him, waving off the apology.

“Excuse me,” he says, stepping around Oscar to get to the door before he unlocked it and made his way inside. “Aren’t you gonna come in?!” Taiyang called out from inside.

“Coming!” Oscar startled, closing the door behind him after he hurries inside and slips off his outside shoes.

He slowly made his way into the house, stopping in the middle of the living room unsure of what to do before Taiyang popped out from the kitchen carrying a tray that he rests on the table.

“You didn’t have to wait for me, come now have a seat,” he said, gesturing for Oscar to take a spot on the couch before sinking into a corner of the couch himself.

“Ah, thanks!” He blushed before rubbing the back of his head awkwardly, dreading bringing up today’s topic. “Did you have a reason to visit or did you just come to keep little old me company?” Taiyang teased, looking thoroughly amused at Oscar’s shyness.

The embarrassed flush spreaded to the top of Oscar’s ears before he placed a potted plant on the table next to the tea tray and slowly pulled out two ornate looking bags both green in colour with yellow embroidered details running along the seams of the bags before offering it to Taiyang. “Thank you?” Taiyang’s eyebrows shot up in surprise as he accepted the bags, the first one being much heavier than the second.

Oscar cleared his throat, steeling himself before he started “Sir, I’ve come here today to ask-to ask for your daughter Ruby Rose’s hand in marriage” 

He gestures to the gifts before continuing “The plant is almost mature and should be able to bear strawberries by next spring, the first bag has a few pieces of uncut jade and- and silver jewellery. 

He clasped his hands and looked down to his lap, “The second has fresh tea leaves, and a few sweets I made- well tried to make myself.” The last part of his sentence is quieter than the first.

“Oscar,” Taiyang prompted, waiting for him to look up.

“I would be happy to have you as my son, just as I’m sure Ruby would be elated to have you for a husband,” he started gently before he clasped Oscar’s hands in his. Oscar looks up, surprise coating his face. 

“Are you- are you sure?” He asked almost incredulously, eyes wide and mouth dry. “Of course, as well as the fact I’m sure Ruby would try and convince Yang to help set something on fire if she ever found out I had said no”

“Oh gods, I forgot about Yang!” Oscar exclaimed, dragging a hand down his face right before the doorbell rang. “Well would you look at that! Perfect timing, now’s your chance.” Taiyang chuckled, getting up to peer out the window.

“Looks like Yang’s here,” he said just before the lock rattled and someone cursed outside.

Oscar silently resigned himself to a fiery death, via Yang.

Surprisingly, that didn’t happen at all, in fact by the end of the day she was just about his biggest supporter. (Y'all want the proposal fic?? lmk)

[thecameronchronicles]

Helping Hands

TW: Smut. Language. Masturbation. 

SUMMARY: The revelation is made to JJ that you’ve never experienced the pleasure of self gratification. Because of this, he makes it his mission to rectify the situation…

WORD COUNT: 3400

Helping Hands

“I’m just saying that I don’t know if it’s all that…’ The confession left your lips as Kiara and Sarah looked at each other before then devoting their focus back to you, “I can’t get into the groove of it…it’s like it’s not exciting when you have to do it yourself-”

“So you’ve NEVER? Like even tried?” Kiara questioned, curiosity rearing its head as a blunt came to her lips. A soft shrug leaving your shoulders supplying an answer as Sarah leaned just a bit closer to you. 

“Maybe it’s because you just don’t have proper motivation…I mean you can’t just sit there and start doing things without having someone in mind-” Your cheeks blushed immediately as your mind flashed to a specific someone you HAD in mind. The same someone whose dastardly dimples and coquettish friendliness had been that very motivation on the night in question. 

“It’s part of the fun…living out that fantasy for a moment…”

Kiara nodded. “But then you don’t have to worry about stroking their ego afterwards by lying and saying they ‘were the best you’d ever had’, or ‘they were bigger than everyone else’.” Sarah nodded in genuine agreement as your cheeks flushed. 

“And there are a TON of health benefits to it too…sometimes it can help you sleep-” As the girls began to list the reasons for what appeared to be an attempt of convincing you, you weren’t aware of a perky set of ears having picked up on the entire conversation.

“Either way…I prefer the real thing.” You winked, tearing yourself off of the hammock, teasing the infrequent yet deceptively satisfying interactions with those you’d rather forget, and making your way back into the chateau. Pulling open the fridge for a libation to quench your drying palette from this day’s particular summer heat, you were startled to rise and find JJ leaning against the side of the kitchen. Only, he eyed you as if you were an alien standing before the refrigerator, not one of his best friends. 

“You good?” His question made you chuckle as you lifted up the bottle of water before offering a ‘cheers’ motion. 

“All good-”

“You’re not…tense?” Your eyes narrowed, your mind having not made the connection between the conversation with Sarah and Kie and the fact he could have heard you as you believed the boys had remained asleep from the previous night’s fire. 

“Just thirsty.” Your chosen word left him scoffing as you moved past him, somewhat confused as his treatment of you as it was usually full of banter not…whatever the hell that was. But before you could return to the girls, a sudden hand at your arm pulled you back on the interior side of the swinging door left in motion in your attempts. 

“I heard what you said…” Your eyes pulled tight in study. 

“What I said?”

“You’ve never…” His eyes descended the space between you as your expression changed from humored to mortified. 

“Jesus!”

“I just think it’s sad…” He spoke genuinely, a sense of pity worn behind his crystal blue eyes consistently darkened with mischief-or possibly even lust. 

“I can assure you, I’m fine…I can take care of myself-”

“Not from what it sounds like…” He muttered as you tried for an escape yet again before being forced to whip at him for his remark. Usually his utterances would leave you in half chuckles or on the other half of an entertaining form of banter. But never had those conversations consisted of a topic so…personal. 

“Believe me, I don’t have any complaints, J…And whatever you heard…It doesn’t have anything to do with you…okay? So just…drop it…” Your attempts to leave had him pull you back to him again. Only this time, he stood before you in a way you’d never witnessed before-at least not directed towards you. It was in a way that he had to keep you at an impossibly close proximity, his eyes focusing more on your lips than your eyes, but still flickering upwards to ensure he held your attention, and the final detail of this change having been the way his lips came to part as if imagining how yours would feel against his, even if only in this moment. 

“What I’m trying to say is you deserve to feel good…”

“JJ-”

“I want to show you…” Your eyes widened as you looked at the direction of the girls only a few meters away, completely unaware of this offer that left your heart raging against your chest and your thighs pressed together at the mere thought. 

“Show me what?” You asked more nervous than confident as he took one step closer to you. 

“To cum when you think of me.” His words were sincere, as if he was well aware you had this interest in him and yet either too indifferent or arrogant to act on it. But in the way you tried to defend yourself against him, he interrupted your scoff before you had the chance. 

“There’s no shame in it, you know…it’s a perfectly healthy way to find a release…” He cocked his head to the side, his fingers running down the sides of your ribs before stalling at your hips, teasing the denim of your chosen shorts. 

“N-no- '' He only smirked at your labored response. 

“Seems to me like I’m affecting you there, sweetheart…” His voice was low, almost a whisper, as he was even closer to you, “I mean, we’re friends…and what kind of friend would I BE if I knew a way to help you and I didn’t do it?” He was now teasing you, drawing your eyes into slits of scrutiny. 

“Yeah, we’re friends, J…It would make things weird…”

“It’s only weird if we make it weird…”

“Plus, there’s that rule-’No pogue on pogue mackin’’. “ He rolled his eyes. 

“Well that’s only if we kiss-” He now leaned close enough to you to tease that very thing-your mouth coming apart as if in anticipation-a detail he noticed that only inflamed his ego that much more. 

“Unless you don’t think you can control yourself…”

“You really think THAT highly of yourself don’t you?” You couldn’t help but tease as he shrugged, pulling back just enough to still remain close and keep his effect over you. 

“Never had any complaints before…Unless “Oh God!” and “Don’t stop!” count…then nothing but…” He smirked, making further note of the way you were suddenly unnerved by his words. 

“Okay…” The single line of agreement was delivered before you could retract it. His brows lifted in surprise before he collected your hand and led you to the room located furthest within the chateau. But the second it closed behind him, you began to regret the fact you’d agreed to begin with. If not for the nerves than for that damned smile across his face. 

“First thing, you want to get comfortable…” He began, wasting no time getting down to his business while bypassing the pleasantries of words of comfort or care. But you were a mix of eagerness and anxiousness, leading your steps towards the bed as you laid at a slight incline, watching him take a seat at your side. 

“Would you feel better keeping these on?” He asked, the hand resting on your thigh thumbed beneath the bottom of your shorts as you nodded. He almost seemed relieved by this before agreeing and bringing his hand to the button of your bottoms. 

“Are you horny?” You couldn’t hide your blush at his blunt vulgarity. 

“It’s gonna hurt if you try and you’re not…” He laughed at your reaction as you studied him for a moment, curious how he knew so much about your body without you being none the wiser. 

“I’m fine…” You confessed, hoping he was unaware that this had been because of him. 

“Here…” He took your hand quickly to the air, direction three fingers behind his lips and sucking them wet, before giving a teasing shrug. 

“Just to be sure…” He smirked, aware from the hitch of your breath that he was the reason behind your arousal. 

“This is the fun part…you get to decide where to begin…” His eyes were on fire with lust. 

“But I think we need a quick anatomy lesson…” Before you could object, you watched him take his middle finger into his lips before taking it within your shorts, over your clothed bundle of nerves as your body reacted immediately. 

“Your clit…it’s arguably the most sensitive. You can pull it, flick it…rub it…” He explained while performing such motions, your eyes coming closed at the actions sending shots of electricity from the tips of his fingers and onto each and every nerve within your body. 

“Your folds…finding out how wet you are…” His voice was a near growl as he gathered your slick before lowering the short distance to your entrance. 

“You…Penetration…start with one finger…work your way to two and even three…depending on how full you want to feel…” You shuddered at the thought as he simply teased your core, smirking as you behaved so sinful beneath his touch. 

“Shit…you’ve really NEVER done this, have you?”

You shook your head back and forth in a collection of desperate shakes as he moved even closer to you. 

“I’ll take care of you, sweetheart.” A soft moan left your throat as he bit his bottom lip at the sound, a sound he never believed he’d hear come from you-especially by his hand. 

“I’m gonna show you how to move your fingers and then I’m gonna have you do it-” You nodded, disappointed at the thought of his absence, but clinging to the thought of having him touch you. 

“I’ll go slow…” And he did, penetrating you with his middle finger as it curved immediately into you, his hand beginning to thrust as he became distracted from his lessons and focused more on the way your hand gripped around his wrist and your hips rose to meet him. When he accepted this distraction, his lips pulled apart to view the sight of your chest rise and fall in desperate breaths as his thumb now made circles over your clit. 

“God, you’re so sexy…” He groaned as you didn’t care about the aftermath of what either of your words or actions mention-you were too desperate for him to continue. 

“Oh my God!” Your eyes strained into a close as his second hand moved to your breast, moving beneath its cropped fabric as he would feel your lace bra beneath his touch. Yet, he continued still, taking your nipple between his fingers before twisting and pulling it into a kind fondling that strengthened the pleasure twisting in your stomach. 

“JJ! Fuck…” You whined as his touch suddenly retreated as your motions quickened to a close release. 

“Your turn…” He spoke in explanation to his cruel abandonment as you remained shy until feeling his hand collect yours. 

“I want to watch you…” He licked his lips, this having been enough of a motivation, as you slipped your fingers beneath your shorts, no need for further lubrication, before mirroring how he touched you. 

“Fuck…” He breathed, the sight of you pleasuring yourself in front of him, even more erotic than he’d ever imagined, his own hand palming the new development beneath his shorts, a distracting ache being his only other thought while watching you arch your back directly in front of him. 

“JJ-”

“Are you thinking of ME?” You nodded, no need to play coy as you were aware he already knew. 

“Good…” He continued to breathe heavily; “Think about my fingers…touch yourself how you want me to-”

“I want you to…” You spoke through clenched teeth, eyes pulling open to plead with him. 

“That’s not fair to look at me like that…” He explained, the soft doe eyes effecting him as his dimples held a reaction for you. 

“No…Keep looking at me…I want to KNOW you’re thinking of me…” You struggled to fight the blush from your cheeks as your eyes locked onto his. The slip of your fingers beneath your panties, taking note of the lesson of his finger inside of you, curving it just as he had, sent your expression to contort in a way that was almost too much for him. 

“Goddamn!” He exclaimed, his own lips pulled apart in a hunger for more. 

“JJ! JJ!” You pleaded in repetition as he moved his hand over your mouth. 

“They’re gonna hear you, sweetheart…”

“I don’t care…” You whined. “I want you to touch me-please, J…I need YOU.” He breathed almost a chortle as he pulled towards him. 

“No…I want to watch you cum…in MY bed…saying my name…” He leaned over you, hand to your breast, fondling you as his breath teased a kiss to your lips. 

“Go a bit faster, baby…Make it feel REAL good…Just like you know I would…” You moaned into his hand, the vibration reverberating back to you as you watched over his touch that he was drinking in every reaction his lessons were now paying off for him. 

“Two fingers…” He directed, his lips now taking your breast within his mouth, still keeping that fragile rule unbroken, but desperate to make some form of connection to your skin. 

“My God, you’re shaking..” He chuckled into your chest, looking up from his kiss to your skin, before those eyes darkened in a way you’d never witnessed before. Not in anger. Not in sadness. In pure, unbridled, and necessary lust. 

“Faster.” He ordered as you obliged, the feeling of his thumb welcomed to your body, your hips bucking to meet his touch. 

“FASTER.” He spoke behind clenched teeth. “I wanna feel you through your panties, sweetheart…Come on…you can do it…”

“J! JJ! OH MY GOD!”

“Let go, baby…oh god, I want to hear you cum for me…” 

“I’m gonna cum…I’m gonna-OH FUCK!” Your plea came against his palm, weakening to a fault at your side, eating into the sheets beside you as you released a silent orgasm for what took over you completely. Your fingers wrapped around his strong arms, tense to your touch taking him close enough to feel those very ripples through your entire body. His nose resting against yours, taking in your breath as his own, as he watched you attempt to breathe beneath him. 

“How did that feel?” You paused, gluttonous to feel it again. “Did I change your stance on it?” But you shook your head as he pulled upwards, slightly insulted. 

“Are you kidding me? You just shook the entire bed with how hard you came and you-”

“JJ-my stance was that it’s better with the REAL thing…” He cocked his jaw, the remembrance bringing his head into a nod of agreement. 

“I prefer you…” 

“Is that so?” His eyes now lowered to the space between you, your gaze following how he was painfully aroused for you. 

“I think I do too.” He teased as your hands came to the belt of his shorts before he collected your wrist, your name spoken in warning as you interjected over him,“I want to…I need to…” 

“You can’t look at me like that…it’s not fair, sweetheart…”

“But it gets me what I want….” You spoke in validation while pulling down his shorts enough to expose him to you. His impressive shaft, a feat for your small hands as you began to twist him within your grasp. Even if you weren’t knowledgeable of your own gratification, you were well aware how to please a man…

“FUCK-” He grunted to the air over you as you manipulated him unti he was now resting half upright within the bed, your hand working his cock with the trophy of your skillshet shown on the set of precum of his angered head. That was when you licked your lips, trying to intensify his release by what would have been your lips, before feeling his hand wrap around the back of your neck to keep you upwards. 

“I want to cum in your hand-not your throat-not this time…” Your heart leapt at the thought of ‘next time’, as you slowly nodded. 

“Touch me, J…Please…” You whimpered as his hand came to your breast, as you shook your head. 

“No…here…” You led his hand back between your legs as he breathed heavily once again. 

“Shit, you’re fucking soaked-” You nodded against him, your breath resting at his ear as you could feel his skin chill beneath your chin to your motions. 

“JJ…I want you to cum…I want to make you cum-” You bent forward, using your saliva over his swollen dick to ensure he wouldn't find pain within your grasp as he nearly bucked into you, soft moans and whimpers validating how you were as talented as he had been with his hands. 

“FUCK-FU-YES! OH yes! So fucking good…OH…” He belted, a hum of satisfaction coming behind his tensed jaw. A series of slow kisses climbed up his neck as he withdrew the hand from your breast to wrap it within your hair, taking your lips to break that damned rule. 

“But the rule-” You teased. 

“Fuck. The. Rules…Don’t stop-please don’t fucking stop…” You nodded, agreeing as his fingers quickened into you. 

“Oh shit, baby…oh fuuuckkk…” He drew out his final curse. 

“You’re gonna make me cum-I’m gonna cum-oh shit, shit-ahh…” Silence left his lips as you felt his fingers pause within you, favoring his climax to that of your own in this moment as you knew you had delivered just as you had received. Your name spoken in relief from his breath as he turned to face you. 

“Get on top of me-”

“J-”

“I’m not gonna fuck you-not yet…But I want to feel you…” To this, you obliged as you stood, his fingers making quick work of your shorts and panties, leaving you naked from the waist down as he positioned you into a straddle. But his cock wouldn’t tease you as you had come to expect. Instead, he used his fingers in place-directing two immediately while the other remained on the back of your neck to guide his depth. 

“I’m gonna need you to cum for me again-”

“JJ-” You warned, your sensitivity almost too great to follow through with his request, if not silenced by the need to do so. 

“I know you can…I know you want to, you’re clenching me so tight…I know you need this…let me…”

“I want you!”

“I’m yours…I’m here…” You nodded, nails digging into his naked shoulders as he kissed your lips again, keeping your forehead to his with his fingers now in your hair. 

“Come on sweetheart…do whatever you need to to cum-”

“Then fuck me…” You whined. “I want you inside of me, JJ…” He clenched his teeth, managing to exchange his fingers for the tip of his cock in a single thrust as you gasped sharply. Licking his lips apart, he sheathed into you, the pain of his stretch quickly remedied by the way he guided you to bounce over him. 

“Fuck, sweetheart! You’re so tight for me…” You nodded, only able to respond in moans as he smiled in victory beneath you. 

“I’m gonna go a bit faster-” You agreed. 

“Yes, JJ! Please! Please, faster!” His smirk widened as he hammered up into you, the squelch of arousal echoing between you, before you were suddenly pulled upwards and left onto your back. Before you could adjust to this position, he held a dangerously sharp grip at the comforter behind your head, pulling it in desperation as your nails left lines of fresh blood along his back. 

“SHIT! Cum for me! Right now, baby-I can feel it…Cum-CUM!” He kissed you through your high, the buckle of reservation shattering to his demands, the clench of this very release sending him into his own. 

“FUCK-” Your name spoken in unison to his release brought him to collapse at your side as you remained in silence for a moment, torn between relishing this moment and mortified for what would follow. And yet the way he pulled you into him, arm at rest behind your head as you found comfort above his pounding heart, validated the words that weren’t necessary. You were his. And he was yours. The pleasant buzz of dual orgasms surging through you both as you grinned into rest over his chest. 

After all, what were friends for?

TAGLIST: @hopebaker @iovdrew @penny4yourthoughts @magnificantmermaid @pickingviolets

[parkerpeter24]

saturday, 4 am

pairing ➳ peter parker x reader

w.c. ➳ 0.5k

warnings ➳ angst. so much and only angst.

summary ➳ it’s a saturday night. a 4 am conversation with peter, but it’s not what you think.

a/n ➳ i was contemplating not posting this honestly but when i decided that i did wanna post it, i wanted it to be so misleading <3 do not hate me, and enjoy reading! i wrote this for tasm!peter basically but it would work with any peter tbh!

you’re a little shaken by how it begins but you are holding up pretty well. you’d even considered complimenting yourself for not falling to your knees or screaming your lungs out until the muscles in your throat give in.

you never wanted to confront peter about such a topic but to your horror, the nightmares were all coming true. you thought about it all the time, and it wasn’t an exaggeration of it. now it had become true and all you can do is keep your eyes to the ground as peter tells you the whole story.

“y-you know i was really not myself after... the incident.” he mutters out, still not being able to talk about the death of his uncle, an event from seven months ago. it was understandable. uncle ben was like a father to him and when he died, you noticed peter starting to drift away from you. at first, you tried to be next to him at every time possible. whenever he refused to leave his room, whenever he refused to have food or water, you tried to always help him through his grief but when he specifically asked you to leave him alone for some time, you understood and gave him his space to mourn.

“yeah.” you simply reply, nails pulling restlessly at the sleeve of your sweatshirt, which was originally supposed to be his. you so want to be done with this conversation and are convinced he wanted it much more than you. but if so, he isn’t really making a move to cut it short.

“and gwen was there for me and i.. i just don’t know how to explain but-”

you clear your throat, cutting peter’s sentence short, “i get it.”

“wait, r-really? you do?” peter looks at you, his gaze never really had left your figure in fact, with such soft eyes as if you’d break if he stared any harder.

you nodded, “gwen was there and i wasn't.”

“what, n-no, no, no, that’s not what i meant at all, (y/n) you have always been there and i-”

“clearly, i wasn’t there enough.” you gulp, looking past his shoulder as his hazel eyes finally catch a glimpse of your tear filled ones and another layer of guilt embraces him.

“please, (y/n), it’s not your fault.” peter pleads, eyes swimming with concern, not wanting to leave you alone because of the fear that he might not be able to see you ever again. not like he did till now anyway. he didn’t wanna lose you and even after everything he’s done, a part of him is still infatuated with the idea that you might wanna stay friends.

“you should go, peter.” you juxtapose his thoughts.

“please, please let’s talk about it.” peter finds himself reasoning with you, standing his ground somehow with the way his legs are shaking.

“i wanna be alone.” you whisper. peter caught it obviously, with the super-hearing and whatnot. sometimes he wished he could have mind reading as his power so instead of hearing everything you said, he would just hear everything you meant. as if that would have made this situation better.

your words finally register as peter nods his head and clutches his bag tighter around his shoulders. with heavy steps, he finally leaves your room, shutting the door behind him and even though you make sure to wait a good ten minutes before you let yourself sob out, peter still hears you from outside your window.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

taglist | masterlist

@httphollands @the-girl-in-the-chair @spideyspeaches @prancerrparkerr @usergarfields @theglitterymess @quaksonhehe @lowkey-holland @starlight-starks @piscesparker @incorrectsourwolf @wildxwidow @blankspaceblankday @raajali3 @kelieah @arvinsvintage @parkersdahlia @icarusafety @uwiuwi @tommyfroggie @saturnpeter @ellabellabus07 @comfort-reads @holland-styles @glowunderthemoon (sorry not sorry fay <3)

[jaegonsmoon]

Not the same anon but I have something written along those lines, it needs to be edited because things are tough irl but by tomorrow or Tuesday I might sit down and post it for you. As for an idea for you for a drabble... what do you say about the first flight together?

oh that’s so great! I would love to read it 🫶❤️ lmk when you do!

As for their first flight together, depending on the situation… This is post-Dance, Blacks win!

After Arrax’s death it takes Lucerys a while to come to terms if he wants a new dragon. Eventually, he tames Grey Ghost. He had the option of getting a new dragon egg, but he refused. His cradle mate will forever hold that special place in his heart. So he decides to go for a wild dragon. He and Grey Ghost have a friendly bond. The dragon understands Lucerys’ lost quickly, and he helps an emptiness and bitterness that Lucerys thought would never leave him.

It takes him years before he flies again, and in those years Aemond has earned a place in Lucerys’ life. It was hard, and it still is sometimes. It took years as well to warm up to Vhagar, but eventually Luke understood that it wasn’t truly her fault at the core, she was an ancient dragon that relied on her instincts. The first time Luke decides to fly, he tells Aemond a month prior. The first time he just says “I think I want to fly.” And leaves the room with a shocked on his boots Aemond behind. He doesn’t mention it again until three days later. Aemond is too wary to bring it up so he waits. He knows better than to push Luke when it comes to these topics, still a fragile thread after all those years.

“Would you… commission a saddle for me?” Luke asks, playing with his fingers in that subtly anxious manner that is so familiar to his Queen mother. “I’ve tried, but I still can’t bring myself to do it.”

“Of course. Leave everything to me.” Aemond says, taking his hands and pulling him close slowly; lips pressing to his forehead till Luke sighs in relief.

When the saddle is ready, Aemond tells Luke in the middle of the, long after their coupling when they’re sated and at ease. Lucerys takes a while to give him any type of reaction but eventually he does. He nods and takes Aemond’s fingers in his hands, tracing each one with his own fingertips. “We will try tomorrow.” He says finally. Aemond kisses him good night.

Come morning they’re in the land near the dragonpit where Vhagar sleeps and Grey Ghost, once he decided to leave his cave and permanently make his stay around King’s Landing, keeps his old lady friend company. He has the saddle mounted, it wasn’t an easy task for the dragonkeepers, it took hours to calm him down but Luke convinced him eventually.

Lucerys looks at Aemond when it’s time to climb up, and swallows. “You don’t have to do it now.” Says Aemomd, voice gentle.

Lucerys shakes his head. “I want to.” He looks up and hooks his hand around the ladder, but doesn’t move. “Fly with me.”

“I will. We will be right beside you.”

“No… ride with me.”

Aemond frowns, looking at the saddle. “I don’t think it’s big enough for two, darling.”

Lucerys rolls his eyes. “I will use you as my saddle.” He insists, cheekily. Then his smile falls and his nervousness filters in. “Please?”

“Alright.” He agrees. “But if your dragon throws me overboard it will be your slaying.”

“Dramatic little man,” Luke laughs as he watches with glee how Aemond whispers something to Grey Ghots, making the dragon huff but it stays calm when Aemond starts to climb up to him. Luke finally takes a deep breath, pets the dragon snout and then climbs up.

Once they’re settled, Aemond hooks both of his arms around Lucerys’ waist and settles his chin on his shoulder. “You navigate, I serve as a human seatbelt.” He whispers in his ear, making the other young man shudder and giggle.

“Grey Ghost, sovês!” And just like that, they’re up in the sky again. This time the only fire is that of their tight embrace.

[italoniponic]

Hello again! It is I- Swimmy back to pester you again! Unfortunately the fanfiction I was writing got deleted from my Tumblr drafts. 😭 So to cheer myself up I came up with more of the proposal headcanons I sent you a while back and I remembered you enjoyed them, so I decided to share the new ones as well! (Also I noticed one person that replied to the first post knew exactly what old TV show I was referencing and I nearly died laughing over it).

So in my last submission, I mentioned Floyd basically tricking you into a proposal, right? Well I can see Jade definitely doing something similar, but much more subtle than his twin. He'd be more like, "do you like this pearl? Yes yes, it is beautiful... do you want to keep it?" and you're like "yes! thanks, Jade!" but then Floyd starts squeezing you and talking about how you're going to be in-laws... cue panic. "JADE YOU CAN HAVE THE RING BACK." And Azul is already drafting a prenuptial agreement for you and Jade. 🤣

I know last time aside from Kalim I only really talked about the mer-people, the beastmen, and the fae But who says the humans can't have odd proposals as well? Or there could just be some miscommunication. Like Trey bringing you a cupcake or something from his family's bakery. But unfortunately, Trey accidentally grabbed a special cupcake that was meant for a customer's proposal, and there is a ring hidden inside... so you either bite the ring and nearly break a tooth, nearly choke on the ring or you manage to spot it and pull it out of the cupcake. Either way, you're looking at Trey like "we haven't even gone on a first date???? this is a little fast!!!"

Riddle, poor, poor awkward Riddle. I like to imagine that flowers have significant meaning in Twisted Wonderland, and maybe a certain bouquet can be viewed as a marriage offer? And you somehow aquire say bouquet/arrangement and bring it to Riddle as a gift. "Here, I know how much you enjoy flowers. :)" "... WHAT?!" and he thinks you're messing with him even though you're genuinely clueless, but he can't even do "off with your head" as punishment because you don't have magic so it basically does nothing to you.

I also had the idea that maybe Ace tries to convince you to "fake marry" him so he can tell his family that he's got a partner. I didn't have anything for Cater or Deuce. 😭

Kalim got some attention last time, and he's gonna get more attention for Jamil's part, actually. Even through everything that has happened with them, Kalim obviously still loves Jamil like his own family. And family doesn't let family end up alone. Kalim also knows Jamil fairly well and has definitely noticed the way Jamil's gaze lingers on you a little longer than anyone else. So Kalim takes matters into his own hands... he brings you various treasures from Scarabia and kneels before you... "will you... MARRY JAMIL?" Jamil wants to throw himself off of a cliff and you're completely lost because you thought Kalim and Jamil had invited you over for a game night??? But in a different scenario, Kalim just asks Jamil to give you some specific gifts and deliver them directly. It doesn't occur to Jamil until *after* you've accepted them that he basically just gave you a bunch of proposal and marriage related stuff and now he's on his way to murder Kamil.

On the topic of being proposed to for someone else: Ortho. You can't tell me that this kid wouldn't catch onto Idia's big huge crush on you as soon as it developed. I think it's canon that he can see Idia's heart rate and stuff? I can't remember but either way, the Ignihyde leader nearly goes into cardiac arrest when he's near you. So Ortho being the sweet kid he is, basically brings you back to Idia's dorm and says something like, "you may kiss the bride" and Idia just freakin' passes out. You're confused and Ortho is like "did I do a good job?"

I'm gonna throw Malleus in here again, because I'm still laughing over the thought of just roaming around his castle like "ooh this place is nice :)" and not even noticing the fact that it's literally being decorated for a wedding.

I don't know a whole lot about Silver, but I wonder if he sleep talks? He falls asleep while reading and you're sitting next to him. He's repeating the last few lines that be has read from his book before dozing off, and one of them happens to be "will you marry me" and you panic and say yes because it was so sudden. If it had just been the two or you, you probably would have told Silver once he woke up, you both could have laughed awkwardly and then moved on... but dammit if Lilia wasn't eavesdropping!!! He's ecstatic!!! A wedding between his precious son and you? AND POTENTIAL GRANDBABIES??? You can't come back from this now. It's been ten minutes and Lilia already has your "save the date" cards being sent out and he's picked a venue.

Now if it were Lilia... I couldn't see him being sneaky about a proposal since he's canonly apparently older than dirt. I also don't think he'd accidentally propose either, but maybe he just happens to find a gorgeous ring somehow and gives it to you as a gift, not knowing the ring was an engagement ring. You find it find and try to explain to him what kind of ring it is and just rolls with it like "oh, okay. Will you marry me then?" and have no chance at saying no because in his head he's choreographing your first dance together naming all twelve of your future children.

What if you were asked to help Vil practice lines for an upcoming movie or something, and he has to "propose" to you in the scene? Somehow or another, paparazzi manage to get a photo of you assisting him and they take the story and run with it. It's all over the news, "Vil engaged to mystery woman?!" And he's getting so much publicity on it that he's considering *not* making a statement clearing up the situation... I mean, you should feel HONORED, really!!

Rook is pretty "flowery" with his words. I feel like he could just talk to you for a few minutes and propose without you even realizing it, like "would you walk with me to the very end?" and you think he's just asked you to go on a literal walk and you're like "yes Rook, of course". He swoops you up bridal style and is just overjoyed that you said yes!!! No take backs!

And Epel, bless his heart. I can just see his family all being like "when are ya'll getting married" because he talks about you so much and doesn't have the heart to correct anyone. Maybe at one they manage to pawn off the family ring on him and it leaves him with no other choice than to propose. There's no motivation like peer pressure!

I'm struggling to remember who all I had HCs for in my first submission, I don't wanna repeat anyone and be boring but I don't wanna miss anyone either. So much potential. 🤣 it's also almost 4am where I live and I can't sleep. I apologize for grammar errors and the length!

-🏊‍♀️ Swimmy

Welcome back, Swimmy! <3 For those who doesn't know or remember, it's the anon from this ask about proposal headcanons (there: Azul, Floyd, Leona, Ruggie (but not much), Jack, Sebek, Kalim, Malleus). I also want to correct myself bc talking about Jamil in Kalim's part, it was meant to be "you can't marry someone after so little time" but I didn't noticed it was typed "you can" lol

Ooh, my sweetie, I'm so sorry! I hope you can rewrite it somehow. idk if you can, but use google docs to write. It has automatic saving (or you can set it, i think) and even if the internet goes off suddenly, it doesn't take much from the actual work and you can fastly copy-paste to other archive just to keep it safe in these cases. I know bc this happened to me a lot of times. Hope everything turns out okay <3

I really enjoyed! idk how it shows but for my mobile, it's one of my popular posts alongside two Malleus requests! And its all thanks to you <3 Thanks again for blessing us again with these beautiful (and funny) hcs

(I also know That's So Raven but it's been so much time that if you put a reference, I possibly didn't noticed lol)

Jade being sneaky even in this. Why I'm not surprised? I love how Floyd is 100% subtle in everything he does and OMG AZUL DOING THE PRENUPTIAL AGREEMENT I'M DYING LMAO

ngl this would be a great idea for a Trey scenario! The reader's quote and then Trey being all panicked and embarrassed bc well, he thinks about it in rare times and since it's you, why not??? 10/10 best story for the wedding party three months later

I LOVED this idea with the flower bouquet. Riddle being a total flustered mess and it just doubles when Ace and Deuce give you two their greetings in "this, oh so lovely, celebration of love" (Ace knows you're clueless and he's gonna enjoy this + Deuce actually thinks you just proposed and it's trying to be supportive). Eventually someone explains to you what that bouquet means but... here's the thing: you does a face like "oh, so you won't accept it then?" and you seem really sad and Riddle just takes the damn flowers off your hand and says "I DO" and storms off the lounge but at least you're happy now

ACE FAKE DATING/MARRY TROUPE OMG it's so simple but you know what? I would love seeing this. Just the development of Ace being "okay so we're faking it!" to "I hate how I love you so much" and now you really need to marry lol

THE "WILL YOU MARRY JAMIL" GOT ME ON MY KNEES

It's like that one incorrect quote that Person C proposes to Person A in Person B's name lmao. I'm 100% for this, it's pure canon, you got my blessing. No thoughts, just Kalim stopping the banquet to make a huge announcement, he kneels before you, everybody panics, you panics but Kalim just ask you if you would marry Jamil and everybody just... whattafck is going on??? Jamil doesn’t know if he goes to you or strangles Kalim with his own bandana but then you get up and say “Oh, geez, you got me scared Kalim bc I actually love Jamil. I would love to marry him!” “YES!”

“Sorry to interrupt but,” Scarabia student B says, holding Jamil who just passed out, “We lost a soldier here”

Ortho really watched every one of those kids movies about setting up adults in relationships and he’s about to prove all those theories. Idia absolutely can’t do anything to stop him. I can also see Ortho showing you and Idia one slideshow about the statistics of the simulation of your married life plus a really sweet (and kinda embarrassing) 3D simulation of your game avatars marrying (like in Animal Crossing or smth like that)

Oh, Silver sleeping talking and just blurting out a whole proposal from this book he's reading (plus if you were the one who recommended it). I would be a total mess. Lilia is one of those moms who are just "so, when are you going to marry?" after the son/daughter have two weeks of dating

HE'S ALREADY MAKING THE SAVE THE DATE CARDS OMG

Lilia have the "it was an accidental propose haha well unless??" energy with the wiggling eyebrows, nobody can't convince me otherwise

TWELVE CHILDREN

Vil's life is probably one of those teen movies about celebrities at this point

This is such a Rook x Reader situation, it's perfect lol you just panicking in his arms and asking "u-uh, we aren't going to walk?" "yes, amour, for the rest of our lifes!" "... that's a pretty long walk, huh" (← still don't get it, wait for when Rook is asking about your measurements for the wedding clothes)

The "old family ring" trick! You can't escape it now, Epel lol I can see him all awkward with the ring box in his hands, looking at you then looking at his family being all supportive and cheering on him ("ya can do it, son!"). Epel looking kinda dead inside bc romanticism isn't one of his most favorite things but his line about being a prince in a white horse in gm event will always stays in my heart

(okay, so here we did for Jade, Trey, Riddle, Ace, Jamil, Idia, Silver, Lilia, Vil, Rook and Epel) there's only Cater and Deuce left, maybe next time?

not a problem, dear! It was fun talking about this again <3 Now sleep well (not that i'm one to talk) and until next time. Thanks for sharing your accidental propose thoughts with us again~

[underspell]

In Defense of Namshuri

{ contains spoilers }

After watching Wakanda Forever, I started to see the chemistry between Shuri and Namor. It started after Namor kidnaps Shuri and shows her his underwater kingdom. Besides the undertones of Hades and Persephone which attracted to me to the whole sequence is also how Namor tried to convince Shuri to become allies.

Just think about it, he probably plan this with Attuma and Namora to hunt down Riri, fight anyone who oppose them, but keep Shuri alive. Probably so he can give Shuri the royal gown he gave her and gift her his mother bracelet. A big gesture to give away something so meaningful from a very important person in his life. (and you can't have that big gesture without being brought up again in the future)

He later talks to Queen Ramonda telling her that he has her daughter and she requested to stay in Talokan, and that was a good deal for Namor as he didn't considere anything else in exchange. A manipulation tactic perhaps, but still an interesting exchange considering that to Namor the offer was a good deal for him.

It goes without saying that one of the factors that attract Namshuri shippers is the Enemies-to-Lovers trope, myself included. Now, let me say this from the complains I saw against the ship. One being their age difference. However, there was no uproar when Thor and Jane became a thing, in fact, it was a far more greater age difference between the couple than it is between Namor and Shuri. But we know the biggest turn off and alarming reason for others to not ship Namor and Shuri together is the fact that Queen Ramonda, Shuri's mom, died by the hand of Namor. Well, first of, for us who like the fictional relationship dynamics of Enemies-to-Lovers is that you can't have the 'enemy' and not commit to being the 'enemy/villain.' Otherwise it would be a Rivals-to-Lovers plot, and rivals don't cross that far the line to kill your family members without becoming your enemy. In a way, it is an extreme version of the dynamic in terms of drama and angst to elevate a relationship from rivals to enemies. So there's no point to argue about the morals of it, we know what it is, and we like the fictional possibilities of how the character can evolve, how the relationship of the two of them to change, and the multiple plot directions it can go from transitioning enemies to finalizing the story to lovers. And that to me, personally, it is an interesting factor.

That said, Shuri ended with nothing left. Her father gone, her brother gone, and now her mother. So she gave in to hatred and revenge, in the Ancestral Plane she meets Killmonger, the representation of her same inner feelings.

This is the start of her journey. She started with being T'Challa younger sister, she who scolded tradition. She had the comfort to be the scientist without the worry to be the ruler of Wakanda and become the Black Panther. That all changed when T'Challa passed away and Wakanda left without their protector. She was still under the care of Queen Ramonda who step up for the diplomatic duties, she still was able to hide away in her lab and not deal with the hurt of the reality that she would be the one to step in eventually. But that didn't meant it would be in the immediate future.

Wakanda Forever set up her growth from a genius, but still, 16 year old girl in the first movie to become the leader and protector of the most advanced and powerful nation. Her transition to force her to become a leader was due to the threat of Namor, no other could had done it. If it was in any other way, she could had relied on M'Baku, someone who had already experience of being a leader. The attack of Wakanda and the death of Ramonda was just the painful but necessary tools needed for her to face her responsibility and start her journey.

I talked a lot, going in circles without mentioning the reason of this topic. The defense of Namshuri. So let's talk about it, starting with the final fight.

She had full intention to kill Namor to fulfill her revenge, following Killmonger's influence. Even though she was distraught to see him instead of her mother or brother feeling left, we did not got an answer to his question:

"Are you gonna be noble like your brother or take care of business?"

We didn't see what she choose, but it was implied what was her answer. But one of the clashing ideas was exactly that in the first movie. T'Challa chose to forgive his father killer, Killmonger wanted to burn the world for his father death. Considering that the person we are suppose to root for and the one who won was T'Challa. Revenge won't solve anything, but bring more chaos, and the cycle of hatred as either side attacks in retribution.

Back to the fight, Namor is on the floor, defeated, Shuri has no other obstacles to give the final blow. That is when she hesitates and she hears from the Ancestral Plane Queen Ramonda.

That was Shuri deciding factor to give up her revenge, and mirroring T'Challa, forgiving their parent's killers.

So what was the defense? Ramonda herself telling Shuri to 'show him who you are." And who she is won't end in the final fight or in the rolling end credits, we would see more of Shuri and what she's made of and who she is. Ramonda herself, in a way, asked Shuri to not kill him despite of what he has done.

Enemies-to-Lovers means it is a slow burn, it won't be quick and it won't be pretty. They would go from enemies, to a hint of chemistry but still very much opposing forces, to the action/betrayal that sets the ball rolling for the conflict. There would be mistrust, hidden (and not so hidden) resentments, and anger. Shuri won't see Namor again with a smile nor I am asking to see that any time soon. Shuri won't see Namor as a trusted ally, if anything, reluctantly would seek his help only when it is necessary when she tired up all (and I mean all) her options and resources. Shuri deciding to spare his life did not mean she forgave him or that their nations are in accordance with each other. (Demonstrated when Namora questioned Namor on his decision to stop the battle.)

Enemies-to-Lovers means that there would be a long, long, long road ahead for them to trust each other. At least in trials and in very specific and strict circumstances. For this to work, there would be a lot of trials for Namor to prove to be a reliable ally. Not only for his nation but as his own person to prove to Shuri and her people. Eventually as they grow to slowly trust each other there would be more chances of them connecting the same way it was when Namor showed her his home.

One thing is for sure, thanks to the events of Wakanda Forever, Namor and Shuri are tied to one another. Namor said that once Wakanda is in trouble they would have no choice but to ask for his help. This can go both ways. Either him simply aiding Wakanda as a true ally or, in response to Namora questioning his decision to stop the fight, might be an underlying that by allies means a way to sneak into Wakanda again. Namora can too be a representation of how some people in Talokan feel. In the other hand, she spared his life and he can be grateful for that. It's the push and pull between them, and that's what attractive for Namshuri shippers.

[ibijau]

Fake dating to real Marriage pt6 / On AO3

in which lxc is not at all struggling with feelings for the guy who only fake dated him as revenge against their ex :)

Nie Mingjue arrived while Nie Huaisang was still in the shower, and immediately shoved a little velvet box into Lan Xichen's hand. 

"Hide it well," he said with a wide grin. "If he sees it, it's over."

Lan Xichen nodded and put away the small box, tucked away somewhere he was confident Nie Huaisang wouldn’t have reason to snoop.

“How are things, now that he’s back?” Nie Mingjue asked.

“I’m not sure,” Lan Xichen confessed, glancing toward the bathroom. “It’s almost like normal, but… not quite. It just feels off.”

Things had certainly felt tense when Nie Huaisang had arrived home the previous night, but they had hardly spoken then. After travelling and working so much, Huaisang had barely managed to eat a few biscuits before crashing on the sofa and passing out for twelve hours. In the morning they’d had breakfast together, as they had been doing every day since they'd started living together, but Huaisang had been less chatty, and Xichen less attentive to what little was shared about that week-long adventure with Wei Wuxian, too preoccupied with his plans for the afternoon. Nie Huaisang must have felt something was wrong and he’d started asking who was coming and whether Lan Xichen would really not give him any hints about Nie Mingjue’s big announcement.

It had taken all of Lan Xichen’s self control not to point out that Nie Huaisang was supposed to always guess these things. He hadn’t wanted to risk an argument.

“Can you at least tell me who’s coming?” Nie Huaisang had insisted, trying to sound playful as he spread too much jam on a toast.

“Just the usual. Wangji, Wuxian, Jiang Cheng... not Yanli though. Something came up last minute, but she’s sending Zixuan.”

Nie Huaisang had nodded wisely, and bitten half his toast.

“She’s probably pregnant and getting it checked formally,” he had said. “She’ll want to surprise Zixuan about it, da-ge offered the perfect distraction. That explains why she’s refused to go dress shopping with ChengCheng… she’ll be so pregnant at the wedding if they keep the current date, she’ll need a special dress. And she’ll…” He had paused then and looked at Lan Xichen who had been staring while he explained his theory. “Well, at least it’s one possibility,” Huaisang had quickly muttered, before shoving the rest of his toast in his mouth.

He’d excused himself from the kitchen after that, and found ways to avoid Lan Xichen until the need to get ready gave him a good excuse to lock himself in the bathroom.

“Maybe this is a bad idea after all,” Lan Xichen told Nie Mingjue. “I should just end things and let him get his life back.”

“And let him win?” Nie Mingjue protested. “You can’t let him win!”

Lan Xichen’s lips contorted into a half smile. Huaisang had said pretty much the same thing to convince him to give in to his fake dating plans, some months before. He’d given in then, and he gave in again that day. Mostly out of amusement that the two half brothers really were more alike than people realised, but also because he just wasn't ready to lose Nie Huaisang yet, and everything that could prolong their time together was welcome.

“If this goes wrong, you’ll have to take responsibility,” he warned Mingjue.

“It’s fine, as long as I get his shocked face on camera. I’m going to film it all and replay it to myself next time he tries to predict everything going on in my life.”

Nie Mingjue beamed at the thought, enough so that Lan Xichen found himself laughing, his scruples assuaged once more.

To avoid being overheard by Nie Huaisang if he finished getting ready faster than usual, they dropped the topic of their little joke to instead chat about safer things. They were busy speculating about whether Lan Wangji might soon try again to communicate to Wei Wuxian that he was romantically interested in him, when at last Nie Huaisang left the bathroom.

“Da-ge, you’re here early!” he exclaimed, running to force a hug on his brother who didn’t protest. “And why are you here anyway? Hm? Won’t you tell me? Doesn’t the world's best didi deserve to hear it before everyone else?”

“I’m sure he does,” Nie Mingjue replied, “but I’m also sure Wangji won’t mind waiting to hear it at the same time as everyone else.”

Nie Huaisang stuck out his tong at his brother, and dramatically ended the hug before taking a step back to show off his outfit.

“Can you at least tell me if I’m dressed appropriately?” he asked. “It’s so hard to pick something when I have no idea at all that you’ve been promised a promotion this year, you know?”

Nie Mingjue grinned and after a cursory glance assured him that he looked fine for the occasion, while Lan Xichen…

Lan Xichen stared.

Nie Huaisang was handsome, he knew it well. Even just after waking up he was handsome. Even after pulling an all-nighter, when his eyes were bloodshot and his hands trembled from exhaustion. Nie Huaisang always looked good. But when he put in the effort, when he tied his hair and put on his best clothes, Nie Huaisang was breathtaking. 

He had definitely made an effort that afternoon.

His hair was done in a half ponytail, and he'd put on a hint of make up, some dark eyeliner and a touch of gold at the corner of his eyes. He had put on tight jeans and a dark green tank top under a transparent tulle shirt decorated with colourful birds and flowers. 

Lan Xichen couldn't stop staring. 

If any of this had been real, if Nie Huaisang and him had been in love, Lan Xichen would have cancelled their plans just so he could drag Nie Huaisang in bed and see what he'd look like wearing only that transparent shirt, find out how warm his skin was under, what sort of noise he’d make when…

"Yeah, I'd say Xichen likes it," Nie Mingjue remarked, with the same grin on his face as when he'd given Lan Xichen the ring.

Lan Xichen's face heated up, embarrassed to have been caught staring. It was made worse by the oddly smug grin on Nie Mingjue's face, by the spot of red that had appeared on Nie Huaisang’s cheek. He must have been pleased with having such an effect, nothing more.

Because the universe was not without mercy, the intercom chose that moment to ring, offering Lan Xichen a chance to retreat with some dignity so he could pretend none of that had happened. Jiang Cheng was the first to arrive, because he always was, but Zixuan joined them soon after. Lan Xichen offered them drinks and all five of them chatted for a while, knowing that Wei Wuxian would be late if Lan Wangji dropped by his place to pick him up, and later still if Lan Wangji didn’t. At least that gave Jiang Cheng and Jin Zixuan a chance to be in each other’s presence without Wei Wuxian, and to Lan Xichen’s surprise they were perfectly civil, though not warm by any means. Planning for a wedding together must have given them the common ground they'd always desperately needed.

It took half an hour for Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji to finally arrive, and naturally they showed up together, with an improbable story to explain why Wei Wuxian had been delayed this time. The story was heard and commented on for a while, as always. Then, when that had lost its novelty, everyone started looking expectantly at Nie Mingjue, waiting for him to make his announcement so they could have something to celebrate.

“I’ll go grab some ice cubes,” Lan Xichen announced, and quickly got up.

He went to the kitchen for the sake of keeping the illusion and even opened the freezer, but took nothing from it. Instead he retrieved the little velvet box Nie Mingjue had given him, walked back to the living room and without warning, dropped on one knee in front of Nie Huaisang. 

“Huaisang, I have a question for you,” Lan Xichen said, ignoring the gasps both shocked and excited of their friends. “I know it might seem fast, but… I know this is the right choice. Since the moment we've started dating my life has been changed, all for the better. Our time together is the happiest I’ve ever been, and I don’t want it to end. Will you marry me?”

For a split second, Nie Huaisang's expression turned into something hopeful, his eyes wide and shiny, his cheeks flushed. It looked sincere, for lack of a better word. Lan Xichen couldn't remember when he'd seen such an earnest expression on the other man, but he liked it. To see a crack in Nie Huaisang’s careful mask made him wish once again that this was all real, that they were in love and thinking of marriage, that happiness was something achievable for both of them. 

But Lan Xichen opened the box, and Nie Huaisang saw the ring inside it. He recognised it, of course, and must have understood that it meant none of this was real. Any trace of vulnerability vanished, replaced by an elated smile that would look perfect on the video Nie Mingjue was filming.

“Xichen… of course I will!” Nie Huaisang cried out as he let himself fall into Lan Xichen’s arms with a genuineness so perfectly imitated that it was sure to fool anyone who hadn’t been his accomplice in a con. Even Lan Xichen himself was almost fooled when Nie Huaisang kissed him with more passion than he usually did, but he must have wanted to convince the others that his emotions were genuine.

Once the initial surprise had faded, everyone rushed to congratulate them, and to assure them that they made a great couple, that they were so happy for them. It quickly got awkward for Lan Xichen, though Nie Huaisang soaked up the attention the same way he always did, and looked the perfect picture of happiness.

Nie Huaisang laughed it up when Wei Wuxian remarked he’d never have expected him to be capable of settling down, and he laughed when Nie Mingjue asked if that meant he could start turning his old room into an office now. For someone who was meant to be the butt of the joke, he was holding on better than Lan Xichen, who didn’t quite know what to say when Jiang Cheng asked if they had a date in mind, or when Jin Zixuan suggested they could trade tips and addresses.

"And if you throw a bouquet, aim at Wei Wuxian’s face," Jin Zixuan requested. "If he catches it, maybe your brother will finally have the guts to make a move."

"Some people like to wait for the right moment to confess their feelings," Lan Xichen replied, though he grinned when he saw his brother closely watching Wei Wuxian, as always. "There's nothing wrong with taking your time." 

"Of course you'd say that, in your situation," Jin Zixuan grumbled. “Huaisang and you were just as bad.”

That remark surprised Lan Xichen, but before he what was meant by that, Jin Zixuan's phone buzzed. He urgently isolated himself to take the call. When he returned he was grinning from ear to ear, and announced that he had to leave to go deal with something. 

Maybe Nie Huaisang was right about Jiang Yanli being pregnant. 

Almost right after Jin Zixuan left, Nie Mingjue too had to go when he was asked to go to work to cover someone else’s shift in a pinch. With him gone, the others too started talking of heading home. Lan Xichen half wished he could have convinced at least one of them to stay, just so he wouldn’t find himself alone with Nie Huaisang. But Lan Wangji had apparently just agreed to follow Wei Wuxian on one of his impromptu adventures, and Jiang Cheng explicitly stated he had no interest in being anyone’s third wheel.

When the door closed on the last of their guests, Lan Xichen returned to the living room where Nie Huaisang was waiting. He was lazily picking up everything that needed to be cleaned, but stopped and burst out laughing when Lan Xichen came in.

“Well, you did it!” he said. “You managed to surprise me, congratulations! And I guess you got Da-ge to help, right? I can’t believe you two teamed up against me!”

“I wasn’t sure it’d work,” Lan Xichen replied, a little taken aback that Nie Huaisang was taking things so well. “After all, you always know what everyone is going to do, so I figured you must have expected I’d try something.”

Nie Huaisang laughed again. “I did. I thought you’d just announce we had broken up and let me adjust my acting to that,” he said with a shrug. “It would have made more sense. Something like this… well, that was a good prank, that’s certain! But you didn’t really think about what comes after, eh?”

In fact, Lan Xichen had thought a lot about what might come after. He’d thought, mostly, that Nie Huaisang would be upset about that little joke, angry enough to put an end to this comedy they’d been playing. He’d never agreed to something as involved as a fake engagement, and his behaviour in the past week seemed to indicate he wasn’t inclined to waste time with Lan Xichen anymore.

Lan Xichen had planned for an argument, and maybe the loss of a friendship he’d come to value dearly. It would have hurt, but it might also have helped him get over that ridiculous crush he'd developed lately.

Having prepared for anger, he wasn’t quite sure how to react to Nie Huaisang taking things in stride.

“It’s going to be so hard for you to break up with me now,” Nie Huaisang clarified with a grin. “You looked so emotional, I would totally have fallen for it, if I hadn’t known better! It’s going to be so hard, selling the idea that you just changed your mind!”

Lan Xichen hadn’t thought he’d been particularly emotional in his proposal. He’d kept things simple on purpose and tried to just keep things sincere regarding how he'd felt about their time together. The proposal would probably have felt a little dry without Nie Huaisang’s enthusiastic reaction.

Nie Huaisang, who had looked so hopeful until the moment he’d recognised the ring, and realised it was just a joke.

“Really, we’ll have to be super clever to convince everyone,” Nie Huaisang said. “Well, planning a wedding is stressful, or maybe I can take on more work and you decide you can’t handle my lifestyle after all, or… Xichen-ge, are you even listening?”

“Hm.”

“Then help me out!” Nie Huaisang demanded with a frustrated chuckle. “You’ve put us in this situation, help me figure out how you’ll break up with me!”

“No.”

Nie Huaisang blinked a few times.

“No? What do you mean, no?”

“I mean I don’t want to break up with you,” Lan Xichen said.

He hadn’t lied when he’d proposed. His time with Nie Huaisang had been… unbelievably happy. Not just in contrast to the misery that had been his relationship with Meng Yao toward the end, but even compared to his early days with Meng Yao, or to any other period of his life.

Nie Huaisang made him happy in so many ways and Lan Xichen could not, would not pretend that it wasn’t the case.

He wasn’t sure how to explain it, nor if it mattered that he felt that way. For Nie Huaisang it had never been more than a way to get revenge on Meng Yao, so why should he care that for Lan Xichen it had become so much more?

“Xichen, I’ve already told you why I can’t be the one breaking up,” Nie Huaisang protested, still smiling but without much joy. “It’s too unbelievable. Who would ever believe that I get to date you, and now be engaged to you, and I would choose to throw it away? Please, let’s be realistic here, you’ll have to be the bad guy in this, sorry.”

“Wei Wuxian has been joking since day one that you can’t last in something serious,” Lan Xichen retorted, feeling disappointed that Nie Huaisang only cared who’d be blamed for things ending between them, instead of being curious why Lan Xichen wasn't cooperating. “In fact, everyone keeps being surprised you changed your stance on dating, so they’d probably accept it if you decided relationships aren’t for you after all.”

Caught by surprise by that argument, Nie Huaisang glared, his cheeks quickly turning red. He looked so embarrassed that Lan Xichen almost felt guilty, though he wasn’t sure why. He’d said nothing that wasn’t true.

“It’s different,” Nie Huaisang grumbled, almost pouting as he pushed a strand of hair behind his ear. “You’re different. Nobody would believe I’d leave you, trust me. And what does Wei Wuxian know about dating, anyway?” he added, a little more confidently. “Your brother has tried asking him out three times already, and that idiot still thinks they’re just friends who hang out a lot! Wei Wuxian wouldn’t know someone’s in love with them even if they made a public proposal, so his opinion is irrelevant.”

“You may think that, but I think he has a point,” Lan Xichen countered, “and so I won’t break up with you. If you want to get rid of me, do it yourself.”

“Xichen-ge, you can’t start dating again while people think we’re engaged,” Nie Huaisang pointed out as he pinched the bridge of his nose. “Have you considered that?”

“I’ve considered it. I still don't want to break up with you.”

Hearing this had a greater effect than Lan Xichen had expected. Nie Huaisang’s mouth went slack with surprise, giving him something of a pitiful air that made Lan Xichen’s heart hurt. If they had been truly dating, if Nie Huaisang had been his partner, Lan Xichen couldn’t have borne to see him like that. He’d have pulled him in his arms and kissed him until Nie Huaisang stopped looking so miserable.

Even with things being what they were, the temptation was there.

Without really thinking Lan Xichen took a step closer. If he dared to touch Nie Huaisang, if he could find the courage to tell him that none of this needed to be fake, that he wanted to give things between them the chance to be more than a mere comedy…

But before Lan Xichen could find the right words, Nie Huaisang had recovered from that moment of weakness and was laughing again.

"Xichen-ge, if you're going to be like that, let's at least have some fun with it,” Nie Huaisang suggested with a smile too sharp to look truly amused. “You think I should be the one breaking up. I think it should be you. So…let’s both be trying to push the other to take the plunge! And how's this: whoever breaks up with the other will have to treat the other to a spa day."

"You want to bet on this?"

"I've bet on worse," Nie Huaisang said with a grin that looked even more forced now. “And I always win.”

That was something Lan Xichen was somewhat aware of. Nie Mingjue had warned him a few times against ever betting with his brother. And Lan Wangji had more than once told stories of Wei Wuxian foolishly letting himself bet against Nie Huaisang, which never ended well because neither of them liked losing.  It always got them into improbably situations, until either Wei Wuxian lost or he found ways to render the bet void.

It was true that Nie Huaisang never bet unless victory was certain.

But not so long ago he’d been equally sure that nobody could ever surprise him, hadn’t he? And Lan Xichen, desperate to keep Nie Huaisang close a little longer, even when it was clear that Nie Huaisang was not interested in a romantic relationship, decided that he'd made enough stupid decision to allow himself one more.

“Fine, let’s do this,” Lan Xichen said, holding out his hand. "It'll be interesting, seeing you lose for once."

Nie Huaisang took his hand and shook it, laughing again. 

"You managed to get me this time, but don't get overconfident!" he teasingly scolded. "Wait until you see what I'm capable of. Oh you’ll be getting rid of me so quick!"

It was no small threat, considering what Nie Mingjue had said about what his brother could do when he wanted to get out of something he didn’t like.

But it would be good for Lan Xichen, too. Once he saw how much Nie Huaisang was fighting to get out of their fake relationship, he could stop clinging to a man who didn’t like him.

[lenaaaaa97]

hiiii i need some help from a big sister-in-Christ please. sheesh, this is turning out to be long, sorry.

So there's this boy, let's call him Dylan. Haha I know, all the problems start like that hey? But no, Dylan's a really decent bloke. He's seriously like a big brother to me - his mum's a science teacher (and like you know that friendship between like art teachers and students sometimes? it's like that, she's like a mum to me while I'm at school, she's lovely). But yeah, Dylan's like a big brother to me - he keeps an eye out for me, we hang out together and laugh and he's just like a great person in my life.

Anyway, a few weeks ago I was at a worship conference with my school's faith team (Dylan's also on that team). And it was great. On the last night, everyone was together worshipping, and like the Lord was there you know, and I just fell to my knees and sobbed for the whole time (1h+). So Dylan stuck with me, got me tissues, just made sure I was ok. Anyway, he started praying for me, and while he was praying, I just "heard" this voice that just said "THIS MAN IS GOING TO BE YOUR HUSBAND". And I'm like what the heck was that, and I tried to hear it again but I couldn't. Like, that's out of the blue, I'm here on the ground sobbing about everything in my life and he's just like there passing me paper towel and praying for me?

I should probably mention I'm not a boy-obsessed girl. Seriously, everyone thinks I'm gay, I'm that disinterested in boys. So like it's not lust or whatever, I'm not even attracted to this boy really.

And so yeah, I'm really quite aaaaaa at the moment. I'm not like romantically attracted to Dylan, but like if I had to marry him tomorrow I wouldn't complain if that makes sense, he's a great bloke and he's very thoughtful and caring and funny and his heart is on fire for Jesus and he's just great. But like I'm only a young teenager, and he's a bit older than me (just less than 2 years). Whenever I pray about it, it seems to be like one of those topics it's like a conversation, it's always an immediate "yeah, he's your future husband" or whatever.

So at least at the moment, it seems like someday I'm going to marry Dylan. But this is like a really odd situation. What do I do? How do I wait for God's timing when it could easily be like 20-30 years for something I can't get off my mind for a like month straight? Like I can wait but how? Have you/someone you know ever been in a situation like this? I've been praying obsessively about it and I've been trying to convince myself I misheard it but everything I read and "hear" and whatever it just keeps pushing it forward and making it truer.

Sorry this is so random and awkward but I need some advice or even just a listening ear please sister.

Hey! Awh yes I’ll try to help the best that I can, btw sorry if this is something you didn’t want posted, I can’t reply privately since it is an “ask”, but please message me if you want this deleted after I answer, I wanna respect you. I’m not a perfect person, but I’ll give you an answer that is from experience and also not as a way to speak for God, because yes that’s something only you could know truly, but it’s a good thing to differentiate when it’s God vs maybe just a feeling we may have and think it is from Him,but I wouldn’t stress on if it’s what he’s telling you or if that guy is who you’re meant to be with, truly you have to not worry, and let go and let God handle that, whether that’s true or it’s not. You’re so young, don’t worry too much at all about it. Be yourself, don’t force anything, you can stay friends with him and get to know him and if somethings there in the future, then that’s something you guys can choose to explorer together or not, but I’d say always keep God as your main focus, just pray for God to always guide you and give you that inner intuition. If you ever feel off about things, listen to that, that’s something I didn’t do, but I really should have listened. Truly, just stay true to who you are, and don’t put pressure on yourself to figure that out or have the answer, let God handle it. Because yes you may have that feeling, but you also need to really hand it to God, and try not to put that title on him right now, because if he isn’t meant to be with you, then there could be a lot of hurt that could come with those expectations, if you guys were to ever be together, but like I said, and it’s really important, you have to trust in God and hand that to him, because God will never stir you wrong, and if something is from him, I think you will know in time 🩷 I hoped this helped, I’m so sorry I wish I could provide better answers, I’ve been a bit drained so my answers aren’t as articulate, but I wanted to try and answer the best I could. Sending you much love.