#trust me i wish i had better things to be mad about lol

[lyriumrain]

I do genuinely still find overwatch enjoyable (unfortunately), but goddamn. Every single play session there's someone having a meltdown, or being edgy, or blaming everyone else for the match going poorly. I KNOW that's just the nature of online games but jeez louise.... What in tarnation is going on with these people, i just dont comprehend this "main character syndrome" where you're a perfect angel that can do no wrong and everyone is deliberately scheming your downfall or some shit

[kalloway]

hello, please pray for me that I don't get a DS3 NPC killed because I'm trying to NOT use a walkthru or guide for once, thank u

[toomanystoriessolittletime]

I wish I hated you

Summary: You never thought a family dinner would include the father of your children, but after you and Joel finally talk, things might slowly start to heal between the two of you.

Pairing: past Joel Miller x fem. reader

Wordcount: 3.9k

Rating: T

Warnings: angst, crying, talk about past shitty behaviour, more sorry's, beginning of moving on, feelings and their denial, more feelings, it's complicated cause these fools deep down love each other, food, regrets

A/N: It's been a while, but Part four is finally here. I was struggling with this but I finally have the idea for how to end this. One more part and we're done. Hope you enjoy this (and if not, don't tell me lol)

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part four of invisible string

Life in Jackson quickly became your new normal, apart from the fact that he was here too. 

Leo and Ana were thriving, going to school every day. They learned to write and to read and to count and they were excited to tell you about every little thing they had learned in school every time you picked them up. 

You already had a big collection of pictures they painted in class all around the house too. 

You had been in Jackson for almost four months now. 

You brother, being the more open one of the two of you, already had made a lot of friends. He was a trusted part of the patrol group and went out at least twice per week.

He also was officially dating Lauren, the school teacher as of the week before. 

And you?

You were… okay.

After the first two weeks of living in Jackson you had started the working rotation to find out how you could provide something to the community and you had been happy to now be working at the kitchen every morning to prepare breakfast and lunch service at the community hall. 

Cooking had always been your happy place.

You hadn’t really made any friends. 

You were working with Carl, Andy and Lisa in the kitchen, and you were going to weekly dinners at Maria and Tommy’s place. 

You and Tommy had a long talk shortly after you arrived.

He had told you how sorry he was for everything that happened. He felt guilty for leaving out of the blue, without telling you, knowing how bad Joel had been back then. 

But you weren’t mad at him, and you told him that. 

It wasn’t his responsibility to stay back just because his brother did. Tommy had believed he would find something better when he left with the Fireflies. And even though it hadn’t worked out with them, his life still changed for the better. 

Leo and Ana were ecstatic to have a little cousin in Sammy. Of course you had to explain what cousin meant, which also meant that Tommy became Uncle Tommy. A title he took with pride. 

Life was good. 

As good as it could be with anyone doing their best to not mention the big elephant in the room. 

Joel.

You hadn’t seen him more for a couple of moments since the morning he came to pick up your brother. That did not mean you had not heard about him though. 

Your brother Calvin apparently had been paired with him out on patrol a couple of times and you were more than surprised when Calvin asked you how or if he should answer when Joel asked him questions about you and the twins. 

Apparently after the first couple of almost silent patrols out, Joel had to began to ask about you on the latest patrol. Something that surprised you, if you were honest. 

You really didn’t think Joel was thinking about you. Even though he told you he was still in love with you all those weeks ago. 

How was the man who said all those cruel words to you when you needed him most still in love with you?

And why hadn’t you been able to stop thinking about him ever since that first night you saw him again?

He had not only hurt you, he had broken you. Had blamed the whole pregnancy on you alone, as if he wasn’t the one who had fucked you and had came inside of you. 

You were always on the verge between angry, hurt and longing when it came to Joel and you had no fucking clue what to do about it. 

So, after taking some time to think about your brothers question over what to tell Joel when he asked about you, you took matters in your own hands and had made the decision to talk to the man in question yourself. 

You had asked Maria where you would be able to find him and she had told you that he was working on a house on the other side of town together with Tommy for the week. Apparently the girl, Ellie, wasn’t feeling too well and Joel did not want to be on patrol until she got better. 

So on a rainy day, after you got your kids to school, you found yourself walking towards the house Maria had told you. It was Tommy you saw first when you walked up the stairs, his eyes widening in surprise before he nodded his head up, silently telling you that Joel was upstairs. 

You were thankful that the house seemed to be empty apart from Joel who you could hear hammering upstairs. Taking a deep breath you pulled your soaked rain jacket off, hanging it on a doorhandles downstairs, before you walked up. 

He must have not heard you walk up the steps, his back turned towards you as he knelt on the floor, hammering some floor boards. You approached him quietly, leaning with your shoulder against the doorframe of the door he was working in. 

It gave you some time to look at him. 

Noticing the changes in his appearance in the last six years. 

It seemed to you that he aged quite a lot since the last time you saw him. There was a lot more grey in his hair than you remembered. 

When you looked at his hands you found him wearing his wedding ring. The one you had put on his fingers, the one that he hadn’t worn much when you were still together. 

You were more than surprised that he still had it. 

He stilled for a moment before his head turned towards you, as if he had sensed you standing there. Surprised he raised his eyebrows before he put the hammer down, pulling himself up to his feet with a groan, his joints popping. 

You continued to look at him, now noticing the deeper lines around his eyes. 

He seemed nervous as he looked at you. 

„Calving told me you have questions,“ you said after a while.

„I do,“ he said with a small nod. 

„Why?“ You asked. 

„So I know that you and the… that you are okay. That you don’t need anything,“ he said. 

„You did not care about me when you told me to get the fuck out of your life,“ you said before you could stop yourself. He visibly flinched, closing his eyes. 

„I should have never said that,“ he whispered, looking at the ground as he shook his head. 

„No, you shouldn’t,“ you agreed. 

For a while the only sound that could be heard was the rain outside. 

„I revisit that day every single day and I can’t understand why I said those things,“ he said all of the sudden, looking up at you. 

„I can not understand why I treated you like I did. And I am not talking just about that night. I am talking about the whole time. Every time I told you that you deserve better, I meant it. I wasn’t… I am not what you deserve. I am broken. Maybe that’s why I kept lashing out at you. To make you understand.“

„It’s because of Sarah,“ you said and you could hear him take a deep breath, his eyes closing. 

Only saying this name had him shouting at you in the past, but you weren’t afraid of his reaction now. 

„You push everything and everyone away because you feel like it was your fault that Sarah died. And so you push everyone and everything away that could potentially hurt you like Sarah’s death did without realising that it is you how is hurting you,“ you said. 

A tear slipped down his cheek. 

„They ask about you,“ you said and he furrowed his brows.

„They ask about their Dad. In the community before they did not have an actual school, but the kids got to hang out three times a week and every time friends of them were picked up by their father, they asked about where their Dad was,“ you sighed. 

„What did you tell them?“

„That their father was out and looking for a better world for us,“ you whispered, blinking your own tears away. You looked at him with a sad smile. 

„They look so much like you. They both have your eyes and your curly hair. And your stubbornness,“ you said the last part with a small smile. 

Joel chuckled. 

„I’m sorry for that,“ he said with a head shake. 

„Can’t wait for them to be teenagers. It’s gonna be a ride,“ you said. 

Joel sucked his bottom lip in before he spoke.

„If you need help then, or… anytime really… I have some experience with moody teenagers. Sarah was…,“ a small smile sneaked to his lips, „Sarah could easily bribed with food. My Tacos to be specific. And since Tommy found a Taco press and there’s a whole field of corn currently growing….“

„I’ll keep that in mind,“ you said softly. 

Tommy called for help from downstairs and you sucked your bottom lip in. 

Joel grabbed his toolbox.

„We have dinner at Tommy’s place every Thursday,“ you said as he turned towards you again. 

He nodded. 

„If you like, you and Ellie could join us tomorrow,“ you said, before your brain could talk you out of it. 

„Are you sure?“

You huffed a laugh. 

„Not really. If I’m honest I am terrified of getting hurt again, but I am also tired of running. There is still this part inside of me, that wants you. That is and probably always will be in love with you. But while I figure this part of my feelings out, you can get to know your kids, if you’d like,“ you said.

He nodded slowly. 

„I’d really like that.“

You had never been more thankful to have found a friend like Maria. 

After telling her that you had invited Joel over for Thursday night dinner, you had freaked out immediately. Maria knew everything. You had told her you whole history with Joel after she had shown up with a bottle of wine on your doorstep a couple of weeks after you had arrived and you had spilled your feelings after two glasses of wine. 

Knowing your whole history with Joel did not help Maria’s dislike of him in the least. She judged him for the things he had done to keep the people he loved safe. How he made Tommy participate. And even though you could have just let Maria rant about him and his ways, you found yourself defending him. 

Something Maria could not understand in the beginning. 

How you could defend a man who killed, tortured, robbed and hurt people without any consequences. A man who hurt you so baldy you fled across the country while being pregnant. 

And logically she was right. There was no sane reason why you should be defending him. 

Then again, falling for the man in the first place was probably not the most logic decision you made all those years back. 

You just did.

So here you were, a glass of wine in your left hand while you „helped“ Maria cook dinner. You could hear Leo and Ana in the living room as they played with Tommy. 

Usually your brother Calvin would be here too, but it was his girlfriend's birthday to day and they had plans.

„You ready to forgive him? Just like that?“ Maria asked. 

You shook your head. 

„This is not about that. He’s their father,“ you whispered the last sentence. 

„And no matter how much of an asshole he was to me, I don’t want to stand in the way of them having a relationship, if he wants to have one,“ you said.

„I think he wants the whole package,“ Maria said, stirring the soup she had made.

You raised one eyebrow. 

„Joel came over to help Tommy fix the roof last weekend, and he stayed for dinner and some drinks afterwards. I overhead them talk about you from upstairs,“ she said quietly. 

„He is pretty damn determinate to win you back. Said he never loved anyone as much as he does still love you and that he’ll spend the rest of his life worshipping you on his knees if you gave him another chance,“ Maria said. 

„He said that?“ You asked. She nodded. 

„They were already some beers deep into the conversation, but yeah. I had my doubts, I still have them. But I can’t deny that the man is in love with you. And he’s a great father to Ellie, even though it’s complicated between them at the moment.“

Before you could react there was a knock on the door and you felt yourself tense up. 

Maria gave you a warm smile. 

„Better get out there, before Tommy tells them who exactly Joel is,“ she said and your eyes widened before you walked towards the door. 

Joel had been nervous many many times in his life. 

But nothing seemed to compare to the moment he knocked on the door of his brothers house, knowing you and his two kids, the kids he never met before, were waiting behind it. 

He had spent almost twenty minutes trying to find an outfit for himself, like this was some kind of date. Which technically it was. It was a date to meet his children for the first time. And the first step to hopefully earning your trust and forgiveness. So when he saw his blue flannel, the only piece of clothing that had survived all the way from Boston, your favourite shirt on him, it felt like it was a sign. 

„So these kids really don’t know who you are?“ Ellie asked next to him. He was more than glad she had agreed to come with him tonight. Though Maria cooking her favourite dinner might have been the real reason she agreed. 

Things with Ellie were still tense. 

And that was another thing he was to blame for. 

He should have told her the truth from the beginning. Not that it would have made the whole situation about Ellie feeling like she lost her purpose better, but at least he wouldn’t have lied to her. 

Lying to protect the people he loved seemed to be a pattern in Joel’s life, that he needed to work on too. 

„They don’t. I don’t know if or when she will tell them. So please don’t mention it. I know you’re not my biggest fan at the moment, but those kids should not have to suffer because of it, okay?“ He asked. 

Ellie rolled her eyes with a sigh. 

„Won’t spill the beans, promise,“ she said.

The door opened and Tommy grinned at them. 

„Fancy seeing you here,“ he said, Sammy on his arm who already made grabby hands towards Joel. He found himself smiling at his little nephew before he reached over to take Sammy from Tommy. 

„Yeah, Yeah. I was promised food,“ Ellie grumbled, pushing past the men.

„Still a ray of sunshine, huh?“ Tommy teased, rubbing through Ellie’s hair and she slapped his hand away with a long groan.

Joel followed them inside, closing the door behind him, Sammy still on his arm. His hands were clammy as he heard Ellie introduce herself to Leo and Ana. Sammy looked up at Joel, putting one tiny hand on his cheek, making raspberry lips. Joel find himself smiling, the nervous flutter in his stomach dying down a little. 

„Hi,“ he heard your voice and he turned his head as you walked out of the kitchen towards him. You were wearing what looked like a oversized black sweater that went to the middle of your upper thighs and a leggings beneath it. You looked cozy and he wanted nothing more than to pull you in his arms and….

„Hey,“ he said, interrupting his train of thoughts.

„You want me to go in with you? Introduce you?“ You asked. He found himself nodding.

„I am gonna tell them that you are Joel’s brother. Nothing more right now, okay?“ You asked again and he nodded again. 

„Okay,“ you said before you turned away from him, but he reached for you before he even realised he was moving, catching you by surprise, as he carefully wrapped his hand around your wrist. He could hear you little gasp as you turned back to him, your eyes searching his. 

„You look beautiful,“ he whispered squeezing your wrist.

He watched as you took a deep breath, your eyes slipping close for just a moment before you opened them and gave him a small smile.

The combination of seeing Joel wear the shirt you had gifted him for Christmas in 2014 and seeing him hold Sammy in his arms was a little overwhelming. 

But that was nothing compared to your body reacting to his touch as he told you that you looked beautiful. You flushed so hard, you were sure you could melt snow if you stepped outside. 

It was various kinds of fascinating that he still had that effect on you. 

Taking a deep breath as you turned away from him you walked inside the living room where Ellie was already sitting between Ana and Leo who were explaining their rules of Monopoly to them. Tommy had found a lot of boardgames on patrol a while back and borrowed it for tonight. 

You did not think playing Monopoly was a perfect bonding experience (it was war really) but who were you to complain?

„You gonna play too Mommy?“ Ana asked as she saw you, giving you those big pleasing puppy eyes she had from her father. 

„After dinner. I promise. But we play the official rules and no cheating like the last time,“ you said with narrowed eyes and Leo giggled. 

„Hi Ellie,“ you smiled at her and she gave you a small wave before she looked back at the game.

You took a deep breath.

„Remember that I told you that there would be guests tonight? You already meet Ellie, and this is Joel. Tommy’s brother,“ you explained to them. 

They both said Hi to him and you looked behind you finding Joel’s watery eyes on them. 

„You gonna play with us after dinner too, Mr. Joel?“ Ana asked with hopeful eyes. The dimple that mirrored Joel’s showing on her cheek as she smiled.

Joel cleared his throat and you found yourself stepping closer to him, hesitantly taking his hand.

He looked at you and you gave him a small nod. 

„I’d love to.“

It was way past the twins bedtime when you finished the second round of Monopoly. Against your hesitations, no family war broke out and Maria declared herself the winner, much to the disappointment of Ellie. 

It only took you three hours to understand why Joel was so protective of the girl. She was funny, smart and took no shit from anyone. 

Ana and Leo had been sleeping on the couch for at least an hour when you were helping to clean up the table.

„Can we… do this again?“ Ellie asked hesitantly while Joel was helping his brother in the kitchen to dry the dishes. 

„We do this every Thursday. You are always welcome to join, Ellie,“ Maria said.

„Cool,“ she nodded and you smiled, before you looked towards the couch, wondering how you would get those two kids home. 

„You think Tommy could help me get Leo home?“ You asked Maria.

„Why? We live on the same street. Joel can help,“ Ellie said before Maria could answer. Maria chuckled.

„She’s right, you know?“ Maria said. 

„I always am,“ Ellie said as she walked towards the door, calling one loud bye into the house before she stepped outside. 

There was a part of you that did not want this evening to end. 

It really felt like you were a family. 

After dinner the kids had went right into their first round of Monopoly, Tommy and Joel joining them as you had helped Maria in the kitchen. 

All you thoughts about this evening being awkward disappeared as you had come back into the living room to find Leo sitting in Joel’s lap, both of them grinning and plotting against Tommy who had Ana on his lap. 

You knew that both of the kids were so much like Joel. But seeing Leo and Joel like that made you realise that he really was a Mini version of Joel.

It made you wonder how the last years could have been if things had went differently. 

But maybe he just wasn’t ready for it back then.

„Thank you for dinner, Maria,“ Joel said as he walked back into the living room. 

„Yes, Thank you for dinner Maria,“ Tommy grinned as he went over to her, kissing her softly. 

„Oh by the way Ellie volunteered you to carry Leo home,“ Maria said towards Joel who raised his eyebrows in surprise. 

„Is that so?“ He asked with a chuckle.

„You don’t have to though. I can go ask Calvin…“ you began but he shook his head, walking towards the couch and carefully picked up Leo who, as if sensing it, put his arms around his neck, continuing to sleep soundly. 

You gulped, giving both Tommy and Maria a nervous smile before you walked to the couch, picking Ana up. She snuggled against your neck. 

„Good night,“ Maria and Tommy whispered, following you down the hallway to their door. 

„Good night,“ you whispered back, taking a deep breath before you followed Joel. 

Ellie must have went home already, leaving the two of you alone on the short walk to your house. 

„I can’t believe I voluntarily gave all of this up because I was such a coward,“ Joel said quietly as you walked into your street. 

„They are pretty awesome huh?“ You asked and you could hear the smile in his voice as he answered:

„They are everything.“

Once you were at your house you guided him upstairs and into the twins room. He carefully put Leo into his bed before he walked out of the room as you undressed them and put them into their pyjamas. Giving both of them a forehead kiss you walked out of their room, closing the door behind you.

Joel was nowhere to be found so you walked back down, finding him sitting on the porch steps outside. It had started to rain again. 

When you approached him you could hear him sniffling, your heart breaking. 

„Why don’t you hate me?“ He asked as you sat down next to him. 

„I pushed you away. I pushed my wife away, the only woman I ever truly loved. I pushed you away because I was scared to loose you. How fucking stupid can a person be? Why am I like this? I lost everything and rightfully so and yet here you are, giving me a chance to meet the children who I wanted you to…“ he stopped himself. You could see him shaking as he cried, his head lowered, his face hidden behind his hands. 

Hesitantly you let your head fall on his shoulder, one of your hand coming to rest on his knee. 

„I wish I hated you,“ you whispered;

„But I just can’t stop loving you.“

[ghostieyanyan]

Is it ok if we can see more of rock musician MC with the Yandere pop music club or Pomefiore once they discover their secret musical talent?

im doing Pomefiore cause at this rate, im doing everyone xD i dont might, it rewally makes me happy that you guys enjoy this series/topic (idk what to call it)

ill likely do heartslabyul and Ignihyde and Diasomnia will likely be together and theres still savannaclaw (though idk how well that goes lol)

who do you guys want next?

~Musical!mc~

Yan!Vil x mc

Yan!Rook x mc

Yan!Epel x mc

Warnings: yandere, manipulation, stalking, hints nsfw, hint of kidnapping?, the art is more on the fem!mc side but the fanfic parts should be gender-neutral (if not, im sorry and do tell me where so i can fix it qwq)

~~~~~

Rook

would you be surprised that rook found this little secret first? like he was the very first person to find out

the answer should be no and if not that no then you are sorely mistaken.

When did he find out? Who knows? But one thing for sure, he want to relish in the fact that he's the only one who knows. Other people might find out sooner or later but he has it in his head like you told him yourself. Like you held this important little secret close to your heart and in-trusted your heart to him. He lives in his own world.

He'll know when you sing. Its often when grim isn't present, like he messed with ace and deuce and getting collared by riddle. whatever grim did that had him busy, you often have your sweet alone time to sing our heart out.

Rook will help keep this talent of yours as secret as you want. if you want only a few to know, he'll accept it. if you don't want anyone to know, he'll make sure your secret is preserved for as long as you like. but honestly, if he had it his way, he'd be the only one to know. the only one that can hear your lovely voice.

Rook is a hunter and an active fan in the beauty department. hell take pictures of you and even record your voice. even when you're not singing. he has a recording of you sleep.. your sighs in the night, signaling if you have any discomfort or even pleasure in your dreams.

he'll take the moment in your dorm to look at your stuff. help here and there in your dorm. in the morning, you might find your clothes ready and prep for the next day. you might find your room less messy than you remembered the night before. you might see food that you don't remember when you've gotten it. you also find tea that states it "helps your voice"? did grim get this....?

Rook watches you like you were a bird. oh he wishes to capture you and hear you sing just for him alone but he also like you to be free. to watch your wings stretch into the sky as you sing with your heart and soul.

but he is a little curious on what would you do, if your wings were... clipped.

~~~~~

Vil

he is furious when he found out. how dare you not tell him!? How dare you to just sit idly by when your potato friends did the VDC and not to mention, watching them lose like idiots!

but... that's in the past and now he has to face this issues with a level head. he needs to know how well you sing, both in when you aren't pressured (your free alone time) and with his guidance and lessons. now you see why Epel runs for the hills during Vil lessons.

here's the thing about vil, you cant be 100% mad at his overbearing behavior to watch you succussed. he just wants to watch you thrive. plus he knows what its like in the music industry. he had to work side by side with it when he was young after all. you cant get mad at him, even if his words like like hot burning knifes to your skin.

when you think that hes heartless and you just want to break down with how harsh hes being, he gets to your level and speaks smoothing words to make you feel better.

"hey hey! i know its difficult and i wont have been this harsh with you if i knew you you couldn't take it. but you can. this industry is very mean but you have the talents to make it big and ill help you through it~ every step of the way~"

isnt vil a great actor? i mean he works really hard to hone his skills but this is next level. he has you wrapped around his little fingers. he doesnt care if you want to be big or even small in the music industry but with you by his hip. with your voice, you could even riverly neige! Imagine it. beautiful model with a lovely song bird by his side. their love story is so cute. its like a fairy tale! celebrty with everything finds love with a common no body.

but honestly, he'd be lying if he said it was just for celebrity gain. Vil has been eyeing you awhile, you were a great help during vdc and maybe... he just wants you to keep helping... but just him this time..

~~~~~

Epel

at first, epel thought he wouldn't care about that. in life he mainly wanted to be seen as the manly type. but with vil's lessons on beauty, makes him hate that whole aspect, entirely.

but when he first heard you... that changed everything.

he didn't mean to sneak up on you. it was late in the day, everyone was in their clubs but since hes been failing a class, vil forced him to improve his grades.

"leona would be fine without you for a day... but not for the rest of the year.so if you want to stay in in the magical shift club, get your grades up."

he decided to head to the library to study for a bit. a nice quiet place to read and study, or try to anyways. a few minutes passed and he wasn't feeling it with his textbook. epel just needed a quick walk around the library to help pump his blood flowing to his head, he thought.

and then, he heard you. you were doing a slight hum and soft singing mixture. but oh was it so sweet to his ears. he felt like he was with his grandma back in grade school when he would come home from school and she'll be making dinner for him. it reminded him of home, and how he missed it so much.

he'll likely not be the type to confront you about it, its your business and if you told him personally, he'd love that.

without realizing it, when he thought about you singing, he dreamed that you and him were married in his home town. he'll be coming home after a long days work and you'd welcome him home with a sweet smile. you might even ask if he wanted food, a bath, or even- oh shoot. Epel has to use the restroom NOW.

naughty boy.

[aetlasx]

prologue

pair: eddie munson x witch!reader

summary: Ah, memories. You journal your first day of high school, but things quickly take a turn just a few weeks later.

tw: menstruation, pad/tampons, bullying, name calling (pls lmk if there’s anything I missed)

a/n: just stick with me lol. he’ll be in the first part. Also, this is an AU!! For spooky season!! thank you so much for reading!!

*the chat font is the diary entry and it goes back to normal at the end*

August 22nd, 1983 It's been a few months since i've written in this thing. I thought it'd be a good time to start now since I finally made it to high school!

You know what that means? Four more years till I leave this shithole!! Better than five. June was actually waiting by the door when I got home, she really wanted to hear every detail of how it went. I told her about my classes, I have Jonathan in two and Nancy in several. I told her how the school and people were so different from anything I was used to. But, it doesn't take her long to find something wrong with the way I think. She started with her usual warnings and advice, all the things I need to avoid, all the mistakes I shouldn't make. I know she's just trying to protect me, but it feels like she can never have trust in her little sister.

On the other hand, at least Teddy asked if I had fun. He's always been the one who knows how to lighten the mood, especially knowing how his wife is. He asked about my teachers and any clubs that looked cool enough to join. He even asked about Jonathan and Nancy.

Jonathan was definitely not as excited as me. He's quite, but he's always been that way.I know that his mom was excited for his first day of high school, she even convinced him to bring his camera. Right now, I'm trying to convince him to join the newspaper but he just shrugs me off. And Nancy, well, although it's been one–girl is practically glow. Within just 8 hours of the school day, she was able to meet a boy. She kept gushing about him and is pretty excited for the rest of the school year here. I'm genuinely happy for her.

Before June could add her two cents, I interrupted her with how I stopped by Aunt Claudia's after school to see how Dustin's day went. He was already sprawled out on the couch, 'exhausted' from fighting with his new math teacher. It had been a bit since I had seen them, I slaved away my summer at my job so stopping by, I felt grateful that they weren't even mad. I'll have to start hanging out with him again.

Anyways, I’m determined to make the most of freshman year with my friends. I’m ready to prove that I’m more than just a product of this stupid town.

Wish me luck!!

September 16th, 1983

I think I lied. I don’t know where to start…but a four year wait is too long. I don’t know where it all went wrong but it started over the weekend.

Sometimes I’d like to think that if my mom was still around, this wouldn’t have happened. Hell, June is like my mom, why did it happen. I’m talking about mother nature’s gift. It seemed as though no on thought to inform me that a girls first period would be this chaotic.

Nance and I had a movie night planned. I hadn’t really talked to her much, only in class, because her new boy toy or whatever—Steve Harrington, was taking up most of her time. I thought this would be a good time to just catch up and gossip, I was wrong. That Friday was horrible. I ended up throwing up, getting the chills, my body ached to no end. But I was still determined to make movie night happen, especially since June and Teddy were gone for the weekend.

As I was dying on the couch, Nancy finally showed up. But to my disappointment, it was only to cancel. Her and Steve were going out on their first date. I don’t know if it was how hot I was feeling or my intestines twisting, but black spots started clouding my vision. I just remember her screaming for Steve and once I knew it, I woke up in the hospital.

What I’m about to write, I’ll say with confidentiality…probably because I’m the only one reading this. Whatever.

A period is probably normal for all females. What’s not normal is having to go to the hospital and having your best friend’s boyfriend make fun of you because the doctor called you a late bloomer. I mean, she apologized but, if I could’ve just died on that bed, I wouldn’t be here.

Even June lectured me when I interrupted her weekend getaway. The whole ride home she kept complaining and saying ‘how could I not know’ and ‘you just gave us another unnecessary bill’. Like, sorry my baby’s natural response has ruined something for you.

Fuck. That’s not even the worst part. When Monday came back around, everyone was looking at me when I walked in. I know how cliche it sounds after what had just happened but knowing how popular Harrington was and who his friends were, he had already told the whole school by now. During gym, Carol and a few other girls threw pads and tampons at me. I got called ‘Bloody Mary’ and ‘Leak Freak’ in the hallways, at lunch, and anytime anyone had the chance. I tried to stay strong, I even hoped Nancy would say something to me during class or at least when she saw me but she just looked at me with sympathetic eyes. It’s just hard to believe that a few weeks ago, everything was fine. We were making fun of our teacher, gossiping with Barb, and even went shopping but I guess things change. Now when I look at her I’m just consumed with rage.

Jonathan has been supportive, though. The evening I got out of the hospital, he had actually brought over some of my favorite snacks and listened to me cry all night. Even when the mocking was bad, he’s stuck by my side. He’s told some kids to fuck off, walks me to class, and I’m grateful, don’t get me wrong but knowing that I have to wake up and go through it again doesn’t really ease my pain.

I feel like my chances of making friends and actually joining some clubs are ruined. When I try talking to some new, they give me dirty looks. When I go to ask about different clubs, they turn me away. I’ve lost hope. Thought this was suppose to be a fresh start but I guess not.

And just to add more salt to the wound, I haven’t been able to sleep. Every time I close my eyes and drift to away, I’m met with such an unsettling environment. The atmosphere is thick, groggy, red. It’s coated in fog, but a man I’ve never seen before always walks through it. He says his name is Henry, he starts talking about my worries and pain. It’s always the same—he says he’s ‘there to help me’, he’s there to ‘take away the pain because he knows what it’s like’. I truly don’t know what has caused my subconscious to create things like this but I guess I’m just tired of feeling like shit.

I don’t even know why I bother keeping a journal around. Sometimes I feel like I won’t even be here in the future to reminisce on the shitty days like this. Why would I even? I guess it’s just easier to write these things down than having to say them out loud. I thought I’d be able to make my sister, aunt, cousin, and friends proud, but I’m starting to think I’m just not cut out for this.

Closing the diary, the blonde places it back in the shoebox you hid it in. Pushing it back under your bed, standing from the place he sat. A satisfied smirk on his face.

He’d been following your turmoil closely, knowing that this was just the turning point. Your struggles were feeding into his plans. This entry was straw that broke the camels back—your vulnerabilities, your fears, and your desperations. It was almost too easy.

“Your suffering is almost poetic,” Henry said to himself, walking out of your room, your house, determined to take action now. He planned to finally confront you, to force you to acknowledge the full extent of what your destiny could be with his help—with what he had to offer.

[bunitivity]

Straw hats cooking headcanons:

- nami can’t cook for shit. Takeout and dash and dine kind of gal. Back in the day she used to sneak into kitchen restaurants and pretend to be a waiter to make off with the food plate and all. Later learns the bare basics but only cooks under duress re: wci incident(firmly believe the food was just ok at best and they were only raving about it so much because they nearly starved lol so anything would have looked divine in that moment)

- Robin makes the most horrendous combination of shit that being on the run for twenty years will teach you. It’s not cooking in any sense of the word. She loves it but no one else can stomach it. (oh she used to know how to cook but due to trauma and a lack of access to real food for so long she just forgets) Sanji offers to teach her and she just shakes her head and thanks him and walks away

- Brook can make one meal and one meal only. He couldn’t cook before he met the straw hats but he falls in love with one of Sanjis signature dishes and MOST learn how to make it under any circumstances. Please it’s his dying wish Sanji(even though he’s already dead yohoho!) Sanji is more than happy to teach him everything there’s to know. Very happy to take Brook under his wing. As soon as he masters the one meal and makes Sanji weep with the sheer perfection of it he gives him a deep bow, thanks him for teaching him and says he’ll always be grateful for everything but Sanji-san doesn’t need to indulge him any longer he’s learned everything he needed to know and just fkn quits(Sanji gets so mad at him for wasting his talents and not developing his culinary skills lmao Brook could be SO good but he just don’t wanna)

- Chopper is honestly the only who would know how to cook prior to joining apart from Sanji. Kureha strikes me as the kind of woman who could cook but would rather make you cook if you know what I mean so Chopper definitely did most of the cooking. Also considering how his master was so good at alchemy he definitely knows his way around the kitchen. Taught Chopper everything he knows. He’s pretty good at it. No one on the crew knows because he just didn’t think to mention it

- Zoro can’t cook. Never tried never will

- Luffy still firmly believes he can despite everything that happened and what everyone keeps telling him. They’re just haters. He will show them (cue nami and usopp descending on him and tying him up before Sanji kills him for daring to ruin his kitchen and they wind up without a captain)

- Franky can’t but will. It looks deceptively decent😟(he’ll get better tho but not before almost killing the crew at least once(he gets luffy more than once luffy just won’t stop eating it and proclaims he knew he would get better once Franky finally learns how to cook and no one rightfully believes him))

- Usopp cannot. Lived lavishly through Kaya before joining the crew. Will learn a thing or two while helping out Sanji but nothing substantial. Just useless things like how to make the perfect glaze. Nothing that would actually help him if he had to survive on his own

- Jimbei can make fishman food really well and so everyone has very really high expectations for him when he tries to make some food for the crew. He tries to transfer his fishman food skills to human food the results are disastrous. It’s so bad that no one trusts him with human food after that much to his dismay(even luffy forsakes which is how you know he fucked up) everyone enjoys his fishman food tho so at least he has that. He tries to learn to make up for it(curse his perfectionist heart) and just can’t

Knows how to: nami, chopper, franky, sanji

Do not: usopp, robin, luffy, zoro

Kinda knows: brook, jimbei

Does anyone ever cook except for sanji? No why would they?

[steve-brules-rules]

I would like to ramble about Dasein and the ending of Novus now that I’ve had time to digest the ending, because I LOVED IT. Spoilers for the very end of Novus below the break, obviously lol

My poor baby boy. I did not expect Dasein to actually *fuckin kill* the manticore. It was SO satisfying (also satisfying after I spent about an hour soloing it with no prep and teaching myself how to do it lolol). But you can tell he’s just so completely frustrated at that point. Like after everyone has been exploiting him, he tries to find a solution through the manticore. He’s still too naive to fully understand how talking to the manticore is a bad idea. He doesn’t realize that until it’s almost too late and he needs the wizard to help again. He’s definitely frustrated at both himself and everyone else. I think he’s also frustrated at the wizard for their disagreement on how to resolve things.

And I think he’s disappointed in the wizard because he’s kinda had this illusion about them shattered. He obviously knows they’ve been physically kicking asses at every point along the way, but now he’s seen that they’ll ignore him to do things their way. This is obviously because they know better than him how people like Mario and Rottingham work and it’s kiiiiinda a emergency with the four major spiral powers going to war, but it’s still gotta be so awful to see how you’ve tried so hard to be peaceful, and it’s *just not working.* Ugh. :(

Id argue he’s also disappointed in himself. He’s exhausted, burnt out, and now he’s feeling resentful too. He’s probably feeling a lot of guilt for feeling frustration and resentment. He’s probably really conflicted about the wizard. At least, that’s what I’d be feeling.

Just. The fact that he reached a breaking point like that, after it feels like he’s so lost, and nobody wants to help him the way he needs. Even the wizard.

Im really wishing the devs did more at this point to expand how dialogue is delivered in this game. It’s clear they want to make things more complex, more involved, and I really think the current system is holding it back. I want to see what the wizard is thinking and saying. I want to see a choice-based response system with consequences for those responses. I’m so so mad that I couldn’t control my wizard’s responses more because I wanted to be a lot more compassionate to Dasein than I was allowed to be. This system worked great in places like arc 1/2 because who cares, we’re all on the same page with waking up the emperor of mooshu and freeing he manders and stomping both mali and morganthe. But now things are more nuanced. Do people agree with the idealistic Dasein, or with the worldly and jaded spiral superpowers? How do people respond to Mario’s accusations of not having any business meddling in the affairs of the spiral when they’re not even native to the spiral? AARRGHHHHH I just wanna delve into this more and I can’t and it’s frustrating to feel like there are multiple ways to respond and I’m locked into one path when this should be a wizard guided by a better moral compass than what we see. So many things are just so confusing, like not disobeying Rottingham more or trying to argue against him. Or even trying to respond to his insults. The wizard has definitely been called worse, but I don’t remember another npc as ungrateful as the superpower representatives on Novus. And i think it warrants a different response from the wizard. I’m really scratching my head at how they can respond the way they do, with everything they know and Dasein supposedly being their trusted friend (or significant other, in Ryan’s case LOL).

Anyway I’m really looking forward to seeing how wallaru goes. This is still my fav arc so far because of how it hits so close to home and strikes such a raw nerve for me. I’ve felt SO MUCH because of it, both good and bad. I’ve been frustrated by story delivery mechanics, but it’s still so beautiful to see this story the devs have written. They still hit it out of the park on this one.

And I hope that any devs who are on tumblr see this, because I really want them to know that this arc has meant so much to me personally and it’s been extremely impactful. In the many many years I’ve been playing, no other arc or story in wiz has moved me so deeply and hit so close to home. I’ve finally gotten motivated to get back on top of the game and not just lagging behind by a few worlds. This has been amazing, and I can’t wait to see what the next arc is like.

[marrr444]

You finish ChoT? ❤️

I really wanted to talk about my thoughts on Chain of Thorns BUT I JUST COULDN'T GET. THEM. TOGETHER.

(But I promised you I would) So I searched anti chain of thorns and then regretted it.

Overall, I LOVED ITTT!!

I WANT MORE (MAINLY MORE JORDELIA)

SO...Here are things I loved, I wanted more of ect ect, as less scattered as possible, anyway:

(Wow this got long.)

I am glad Jesse wasn't punished for being Tatiana's son but also (especially) Lucie for necromancy.

Also kinda sad that Lucie and James couldn't use their powers anymore. (Or well ,mostly, James his gun) but I get why (and now Kit will get to have the gun in TWP, if I remember the spoilers for SoBH I've read correctly, which is pretty cool)

WE DIDN'T GET CORDELIA AND LUCIE'S PARABATAI CEREMONY??? idc if it was completely uneventful I still want it. Cassie you let me down.

On the topic of things we didn't get, here are two more: Matthew telling his family about his secret FROM HIS PERSPECTIVE (and not just a mention through Cordelia) same for Will and Tess learning about the gracelet and more specifically I would have LOVED a Will and Cordelia scene (like Will saying "thanks for taking care of my son" and ruffle her hair like he wanted to in the wedding).

Oh and also Alastair coming out to Sona with Cordelia reacting the same way Eugenia did with Thomas would have been WHOLESOME.

I'd also like to say I'd have loved a scene where James and Cordie played chess and/or woke up in the same bed but fingers crossed that will be in the Better in Black short story (the book which I feel compelled to remind I am not getting but it will hopefully be published soon enough. Hopefully.)

I was SO SCARED Alastair and Thomas wouldn't end up together, THANK GOD I was wrong.

Arianna? Yeah ok pretty cool. Can't be the least bit mad at Ari for what happened at GoTSM.

FAIRSTAIRS IN PARIS OMFG??? Should they have ended up together? No bUT am I happy they kissed a bit? YES???! AND THEN JAMES CAME DJSBFNDNFNCNDF

I didn't mind Cordelia killing Tatiana. There was no one else who could have done it. Grace definitely couldn't have (except if she wanted to be as dead as Christopher or Tatiana to escape) and James already killed Belial so that'd be too much for one person. AND JAMES KILLED BELIAL!! James's will was as strong as a Prince of Hell and STRONGER which WE DON'T TALK ENOUGH ABOUT (and we do occasionally talk about it)!!!!

CHRISTOPHER DIED AND WASN'T GRIEVED ENOUGH. which isn't necessarily a bad thing considering it would have broken my heart much more. ALTHOUGH, I can't remember James grieving him, and that is. Other than that we saw the impact his death had on everyone, we saw Anna grieving, Grace, Matthew thinking about him and even Cordelia shedding tears and hugging James and that is enough.

Oh also, I find that I cannot hate Grace. She helped Cordelia A LOT by telling her about what she'd done considering James' was being a stuck-up "ahmag" at the time. (Which Thomas is pretty sure means idiot in Persian and I trust him)

Also, I feel like I want more of the characters as a group, you know, banter and meetings at the devil tavern.Like, they are SUCH a nice group. Their characters are AMAZING but I feel like (other than to fight) we didn't see them interact with each other enough. (Except ,obviously, the couples)

Other than that pretty content??

No hate, I am sad I finished the book these are just things I wished we'd gotten, but one can't have everything and this gives me content for daydreaming lol

(I wrote this a while ago idk if it makes sense)

[carefulfears]

txf30 day 4: favorite dynamic (besides the obvious): scully/mulder/skinner

y’all mind if i ramble for a second?? there are so many connections that are so important to this story, but i always come back to these three. i think everything does.

i say that memento mori is the most loving episode of the series, but when i think about that one, it’s not even the kiss in the hallway that stays with me. it’s skinner coming in to work, the first time scully was in the hospital, and finding mulder sitting in his office. and he’s just been sitting there. bypassed the secretary (lol), and just sat and waited. he doesn’t have anywhere else to go.

and the way that skinner tells him, no. don’t do it to yourself under any circumstances. that he is not to risk himself to try to save scully. ultimately, it’s not mulder that made the deal with the devil, it’s skinner who didn’t follow his own advice. (gave up everything he has, to save them both).

and these are just two weirdos who work for him in the basement!! he doesn’t owe them anything. but he’s the one there, at the end, no matter what. he’s the one who comes to get them when they’re hurt, or lost, or need help. they’re his emergency contacts, the people who show up, the people who advocate for him. the people who know him. (the bigfoot division are a.d. skinner’s silly rabbits etc etc etc)

in iwtb, after six years away, it’s skinner who comes to get scully, on the side of the road, next to mulder’s flipped car. tells her that they will find him, that he’s okay, to breathe. it’s skinner that holds mulder on the ground, in the end.

when mulder went back to bellefleur, it's skinner that scully sent with him. that girl has never trusted a single soul to so much as breathe mulder's air, but "i won't let you go alone," is immediately followed by skinner packing the car.

like trish said last night:

i think telling scully he "lost" mulder was the hardest thing he ever did. skinner loves mulder too, but mulder is scully's entire world. and this time around, he won't let scully be alone the way mulder was.

(and the kindest thing scully ever did: squeezing his hand, saying "i already heard.")

(skinner returns the favor: he tells mulder about william, so that scully doesn't have to.)

my favorite moment in requiem is the final scene, the two of them crying together. the only two people. the only two people who know.

when she tells him that she's pregnant, he's the first to know. the only person to know, for most of her pregnancy. 18 years later, he's still the first person thinking of their baby, looking out for him.

honestly, it always comes back to sein und zeit for me. when after 7 years, after 27 years, mulder says that it's just too much, and he wants to go home. he wants time away from work. the sequence in the car: mulder in the backseat, skinner behind the wheel, scully on the passenger's side. for so many years, mulder had to be searching, so that he wouldn't be alone. but now he stands in front of two people who love him, and admits to needing a break. to wanting it to stop. he's guided, he's guarded.

skinner is a hardass. it's not easy to manage their madness. it's not easy to write the footnotes, to be the person waiting, in this particular story. but like he tells mulder, 14 years after they last worked together: not a day goes by where he doesn't just wish they were there, trying to make things better.

[mays-corner]

(This post is a bit random so if you get it you get it if you don't get it it's fine)

It's 2024. I should be going to the disco, which I dislike.

Instead, I decided to hyperfixate on a Welshman.

One thing that baffles me to this day, and trust me it has happened more than once, is has anyone ever tried to protest at least a bit to still have Matt as John? Did no one try hard enough? Or have the attempts failed?

I mean-

I'm a newer fan (even with content crumbs I am a fan) still, so I can't be sure, but I'm amazed that in all these years that have passed, no one ever did anything, and now he can't even play Constantine (I think).

And now, the only role I've seen is him dubbing John 💀

Ignoring this discourse about John, I've decided to search for other roles, movies, and series, and what I've found was interesting, to say the least.

I am becoming passionate about him for various reasons. Other than wanting to revive pre-pandemic activities, I have noticed a pattern: I enjoy searching for things that I only watch. These are some thoughts I had about some things I could not find in Italy:

Hard to find (for example, I'm still searching for "The Halcyon," and the funniest thing about this is that in Italy, it was shown on TV (on an RAI channel, RAI is an Italian broadcaster) during 2017 and it's not available on their platform.

Region-locked content (the DCAU being region-locked is such a crime; we only have House of Mystery, and that's it) or even trying to watch a simple cameo when the entire series is region-locked (the Harley Quinn one). However (and this is good news), while searching for Away (one of his movies to watch), I found Tubi and used a free VPN. It was slow, but it worked, and I watched it.

Expensive (I paid Assassin's Creed Black Flag in installments, so that wasn't expensive, but still...)

It was a play, so they haven't recorded it, but to see and better understand the role he played (in this case, read), I read Thérèse Raquin by Émile Zola, and it was still effective.

Not even available on Chili (an Italian streaming platform on which you can rent or buy movies), the title only appears but is not available for streaming (lol).

Using Vinted or secondhand shops in general (it’s not the best time for me to go fully secondhand, but I suppose I could find some things there).

At the moment, I've watched just what I could easily find without resorting to piracy (which is ironic, since in Assassin's Creed Black Flag, Matt voices Edward Kenway, a pirate.).

In this list of things I could easily find, we have:

Constantine (thanks to another fan)

Criminal Minds/Criminal Minds Suspect Behavior (I had Disney Plus for a month, so I've watched it from there)

Flypaper, Adverse (Prime Video)

Arrow (Prime video)

Legends of Tomorrow (Netflix and Mediaset infinity)

House Of Mystery (Amazon prime, you have to rent it but still)

While writing this I found that "Layer cake" is on Sky, which I have and Now TV too.

Pocket Money (While watching it I just understood two words out of an entire short and I'm a c2 in English 💀)

Away, Wild Decembers, Armistice, Blood Monkey

So, you might have been asking yourself... Have I gone mad? To search and find for stuff not even available in my own country? In my own continent, too?

But I thought this is what comes with being a fan of someone, even if the career is what it is.

Considering me being unlucky, I was never able to see Matt when he acted and then had premieres at the same time.

Asssassin’s Creed Black Flag? I was 10, a child, lol.

Legends Of Tomorrow? I liked anime, manga and everything japanese.

And the list goes on...

It's nice to see what was like and what I couldn't live, gosh, I'm praying hard that we get to see him act again, I want and I wish to be present, live or not.

I wanted to make a really nice speech but nothing comes to mind, when I get it maybe I'll post it 💀

[magpies4nights]

21, Falling Down the Stairs (Dev log #16)

Well, it’s been an uneventful 2 weeks since I’ve last updated y’all. I’ve completely finished the computer thing I showed y'all last time, teehee. I'm not gonna say what exactly it is but there's a good route and a bad route, I guess you could say lol. I also made some more sprites because it made me really mad. Therapy <3333

Scale Dummy core teehee

I still haven't figured out the optimizing thing though, because every tip I could find was for 3d stuff, and the 2d questions would always be "answered" with "why do you need culling for a 2D game? It has less data." THIS SCENE IS SO HEAVY MY COMPUTER CRASHES WHEN IT'S NOT IN THE EDITOR, AND IT'S FROM 2019!!! THAT'S NOTHING IN AGE!!!! Wait, is it something??? I don't even know anymore god how long ago was 2019?? Arg.

(AI disturbance overlay from: https://www.tumblr.com/arson-jellyfish69/750555399114080256/put-these-on-the-top-layer-above-everything-set)

But anyways, I'm pretty sure if I got a brand spanking new computer and I ran that puppy on the computer it would start coughing and dying. I've also been thinking of updating the demo again, because I kinda feel bad that it's been left untouched since like May, and some things have changed. Maybe mid June???? July???? I don't know. I'll definitely change the secret room, because I realized if people discovered it by now, they probably are walking into the walls and not realizing it because they are invisible, I remember once I was showing one of my friends that room and she did that and I had to help her. I am top 10 game designers, I know /j

...Anyways, I can't think up on references right now, my brain is mush LMAO. however, since it's pride month...

Yeah, we got the pride flags out. Huah. (not a ship. They're related and Priyah is a minor)

I would have put my headcannons for the cannon GASA4AM:SC characters but They're pretty much popular headcannons sooooo, yeah. lmao. I also kinda don't feel like drawing anymore right now.

Well, I don’t know if I can talk about my life anymore. It’s for personal reasons, honestly. All I can really say is that the weather has been crazy, there was a time when the region I lived in had no power for several hours because of a storm, and that I started summer classes. They are pretty hectic, I'm not gonna lie. I ended up with health problems, AGAIN, so now I'm eating the world's most blandest foods until I'm in better shape. Which honestly I'm thinking it's when they end and I'm guaranteed passing grades (I'd be so happy if I get 70's). I wish I could say what’s on my mind, but right now I can’t. I honestly don’t know when I can again. It’s not for professionalism, I honestly doubt my future employers will somehow link this back to me, as much as I feel like people will try to dig up my past and my present. I'm thinking though once I'm done with this fan game I might have have to stop making games under this name, as gut wrenching as that is. I had to come to that realization, I was incredibly disappointed, trust me. I've been thinking on this since March when my dad was mad at me but if I want to make money, I'll have to go under a different name. I'll see you there when I crossed that bridge though, I'm not going anytime soon with the way this fan game is going LMAOOOO.

[densengrsk]

Okay, okay, but fic idea; Regressed Ennis helping Jack out with the sheep. Maybe feeding em and giving them water while Jack does all the hard labor LOL

Agere!Ennis del mar Cg!jack twist fic

Word count: 2427

Note: hey!! This is a very cute request!! I loved the idea but I gotta say I’m sorry cause It’s only a part of the story near the end, I got a little invested so it’s just a little long I hope you enjoy it thought anon!

Cw: queer guilt mentioned (very little, only really referenced) / eating avoidance

The sky was beginning to slowly light up as the freezing cold air that was natural from the mornings in Brokeback began to sway away, the signs from the day starting were approaching surely, and Ennis could sense it immediately as he was the one who always woke up first between him and Jack.

He let out a quiet hum as he woke up, intending to stay quiet enough to not wake up the man beside him.

“Better to not be a bother” he thought as he rubbed his eyes with his hands, still pretty tired after all the work he had to do yesterday, he wished he could have just one day away from all of this, with Jack of course, but the money was a good enough reason to not complain to anyone about it.

He felt as if something was a little off this morning, he couldn’t quite put his finger on it yet but it definitely felt familiar to him, maybe his lack of sleep was finally getting to him, or maybe he was just tired from all the work he had to yesterday, one thing he knew: he didn’t like it, and he wished this sensation could stop, and he also wished Jack was awake, so he didn’t have to do with the guilt alone.

Anxiety was running through the cowboy’s veins, an usual occurrence for Ennis as most of the time he got too deep into his thoughts and they ate his mind away, still, he preferred to stay quiet about the problems in his head and not having to share much details about his life to anyone, only thing is that he wasn’t with anyone right now, quite the contrary; he was with the only person who he actually managed to share his thoughts with, the man who he trusted the most Jack Twist

He thought about the night prior and how he hugged Jack in his sleep, he never said anything about it because of how embarrassed he was to even realize the action, but he couldn’t help himself around Jack, he loved him, and oh god how much he wished he was awake right now..

He kept looking at Jack’s face, not thinking much now, the anxiety was still there, but it was starting to become replaced by something else, some strange fuzziness affecting his brain and making him want to do one thing and one thing only: wake up Jack, and cling onto him just as he dreamt to do every night they slept in different tents.

Ennis wasn’t thinking straight anymore, or he wasn’t thinking at all, he could barely get himself to question what he was doing as he put one of his right hand on Jack’s shoulder, shaking him ever so slightly.

he put his left thumb on his mouth as he started to chew on the skin next to his nail, he was nervous, anxious, but most importantly: very needy, he wanted Jack right now, and that was the only thing his mind could focus on, even if he was scared of making him angry…

angry

As Ennis kept shaking Jack’s shoulder slowly he began opening his eyelids and he changed his position while still mostly unconscious, he looked to his side and noticed Ennis before doing a big yawn and then he began staring at the cowboy, intrigued by the reason he had woken him up.

Ennis was shaking, his little mind was in fear as he remembered almost vividly how his father yelled at him whenever he woke him up for whatever reason it was, what if Jack was gonna react the same way? What if he was mad at him? What if he yelled?

“Mornin’” said Jack with a slightly more deep voice than usual, product of the fact he had just woken up.

“We.. gotta go to the sheep yet? Or why’d you wake me up?” He asked while looking at Ennis with a tired and confused look, he was starting to notice the strange behavior in the man, but he didn’t wanna brought it up just yet.

“N-no..” Ennis managed to mumble, Jack didn’t seem mad, but he couldn’t just trust blindly in anyone, and he was still involuntary shaking along with his voice.

“Ennis, you’re shaking.. catch a cold or somethin’?” Jack asked with concern, which made Ennis quickly shook his head at Jack’s question, he wasn’t sick, he just.. needed him.

Jack stared at Ennis for a few seconds, he knew what it was, or at least he was pretty sure he knew, he just needed confirmation in his theory, so he moved himself closer to Ennis as they both laid together on the tent.

“Not feelin’ too big, are we little lamb?” He asked with a little smirk in his face, he liked comforting Ennis of course, but a little tease here and there was never wrong in the eyes of the playful cowboy.

Ennis’s cheeks quickly turned a light red color as he started looking at the ground, starting to chew on his thumb again, he was so embarrassed anytime Jack teased him, and he knew it well.

Jack took the finger out of Ennis’s mouth out of instinct and he chuckled quietly as he shook his head in disapproval.

“C’mon now.. you can hurt yourself like this little lamb; dada doesn’t wanna see you hurt”

Ennis grumbled a little to himself, but at this point he couldn’t hide his tiredness anymore, and his regression wasn’t helping at all as he got closer to Jack and put his head on his shoulder. He felt so exhausted, he just wanted to be held by Jack for a moment, maybe even forever~

“My poor boy… you woke up dada ‘cause you wanted to cling to him, hmm” he muttered as he put his arms around Ennis.

Ennis only made quiet and small noises as he kept his head on Jack’s shoulder; he didn’t say more than two words whenever he felt like this, whenever he felt this little.

It felt so cozy whenever he slipped and Jack was around him to take care of him; he loved it, and he loved his papa.

After a few minutes in the same position, Jack slowly unwrapped his arms, taking them away from Ennis’s body, which earned him a pitiful whine from the regressed cowboy.

Jack chuckled at the small whine before speaking.

“C’mon little lamb… I still got work to do… How about you help me out looking over the sheep and makin’ sure they are well fed while I herd them with the puppies, hm?”

Ennis huffed quietly, he really didn’t wanna let go of the position he was in right now.. but he also wanted to make his papa happy and be good for him so he resigned himself to give a slow nod as he slowly got his head out of his dada’s shoulder.

Jack slowly stood up, his body was still tired from all the work he had to do yesterday.

“Come now, we’ll ride on my horse, little lamb” Jack smiled as he looked down at Ennis before ruffling his already messy hair

Ennis looked at Jack sheepishly, and Jack knew well what that look meant: fear, after seeing Ennis like this a few times already it was obvious that Ennis tended to fear animals at first, but Jack was gonna make sure he felt comfortable with all the animals they were gonna see today

“Would be cute if I saw him feed some sheep” Jack thought as he looked at the now even more shy Ennis waiting for Jack’s next move.

“C’mon.. horse won’t do nothin’ to ya, he a real good boy, you’ll see” he said with a smile, and he grabbed Ennis’s hand and helped him get up.

Ennis held onto Jack’s hand tightly, not wanting to ever let go as Jack guided then over next to the horse, but before they could Jack looked at Ennis with a worried look

“Did you eat something before I woke up, little lamb?” Jack asked with genuine concern, he knew about Ennis’s bad habits and how they tended to get worse when he regressed

Ennis stood quiet for as long as he could, his eyes darting at the floor because he didn’t want to have a look at Jack’s face, he was too embarrassed to admit anything

“I’ll take that as a no…” Jack sighed, he wasn’t upset or mad, but he was definitely worried about Ennis

“C’mon, dada can do something for you really quick-“

“N-no” Ennis managed tu mumbled, leaving Jack surprised, getting the blonde cowboy to talk while regressing was almost impossible, but he also rarely got to see Ennis not listening to him when he was.. misbehaving even

“My sweet lamb, you know dada only wants you to eat because he wants you to grow big and healthy just like him.. now c’mon..”

“No” Ennis muttered again, he had a slightly defiant look in his face, but it was still a embarrassed one after all.

Jack sighed, even thought Ennis had always behaved perfectly when he was like this it was no surprise that toddlers and babies had their bad days, where they misbehave or throw tantrums, he wanted to keep insisting with Ennis until he gave up, but he knew it was getting late and he knew the sheep were unsupervised right now.

“When we come back I’m makin’ you eat somethin’ little lamb” Jack said softly, but his voice carried a more strong demeanor to it this time, Jack worried a lot about Ennis’s wellbeing, and he was gonna make sure he didn’t get sick or worse by avoiding his needs so much.

Ennis just stood there quietly while Jack checked on the horses in detail, he was a little scared of making his dada mad, he couldn’t lie about it.. but in his mind and in his stomach eating beans sounded worse than anything on the world right now, and the sole thought of having to actually eat them was getting him genuinely upset.

“I’ll help ya up the ho’sie sweetheart” Jack said as he looked over at Ennis’s worried expression

“He doesn’t bite my boy.. I promise, he is a good boy, just like you are” Jack smiled and gently patted the horse’s head

“See? Nothing to fear here, little lamb”

Ennis seemed reluctant, he didn’t trust the horse completely, but someone he did trust was Jack so he eventually nodded while he closed his eyes, letting Jack do what he had to.

He got a hold of Ennis’s waist carefully and he used his strength to help him on the back of the horse, smiling as he saw that Ennis was now secured in the back, before getting in the front himself.

“Grab a hold of me boy, put your arms around dada’s body and we will go over to see the cute sheep” he stated

Ennis listened carefully, and got a tight grip on Jack’s body as he started to ride his horse, leading them both over to the place where the sheep were.

Jack smiled all the way there, happy that Ennis was slowly getting more comfortable sharing the little side of him, he was still embarrassed, but he managed to not blush all the time because of it, and that was progress.

As they rode together Jack smirked

“You see the sheep, kiddo?” He asked

Ennis nodded enthusiastically

dogs, horses, cows, (…) they were all animals that scared him a little while he was regressed, and he always kept an eye on them to make sure they wouldn’t “try to eat him” but with sheep Ennis was different, he found himself at peace with them and loved petting their fluffy hair, this was something Jack was certainly aware of, so he hoped that Ennis would enjoy doing this activity again while he actually managed to herd them.

“Well, we’re here lambie” Jack announced, getting himself down and then helping Ennis to do this as well.

The sheep were seconds away from Ennis now, and he couldn’t hide his excitement at all, his eyes were shining bright and he had a small smile in his face.

“Someone is excited to see the sheep, isn’t he?” He teased, enjoying seeing Ennis like this, a smile on his face was a rare sight for sure.

Ennis blushed but only for a moment before getting his eyes back on the sheep, he couldn’t wait to play with them, that if his dada allowed it of course.

The blonde cowboy pulled on Jack’s coat, letting him know that he wanted his attention right now.

“Yes, little lamb?” He asked softly

“..mmh..” he pointed to the sheep and mumbled

“You wanna go play with ‘em don’t ya” Jack chuckled

“S-sheep” Ennis mumbled with a little effort, he really really liked them

Jack eyes widened in surprise as he heard the word come out of Ennis’s mouth, it was a challenge to even hear him say yes or no, and he was saying the name of an animal now, Jack felt like a proud father now

“That’s right! The sheep.. you said it so well little lamb, of course you can go play with them!” He smiled as he patted Ennis’s head

Ennis smiled at Jack and slowly walked over to the sheep with a smile on his face, a little shy at first of course, he said hi to them with a small wave from his right hand and he went on to pet as many sheep as he could, giggling and muttering as he kept going, it was truly a sight to behold, and the one who was enjoying it the most was Jack.

Ennis came back a few seconds later, looking at Jack and then pointing to the river that was nearby and then the sheep, his way of saying “they’re thirsty”

Jack nodded, understanding what Ennis wanted to do perfectly as he got the dogs to guide the sheep to the water nearby, Ennis smiled at the sight, glad that their little companions were getting what they needed.

Seeing his little boy calm like this brought a sense of relief to him, and he couldn’t help but get infected by Ennis’s smile

Jack sighed one last time before getting back into his horse as he started to herd the sheep again with the help of the dogs, and of course, the help of the best little helper in Brokeback mountain: Ennis Del Mar

[mechina]

Sending this ask because I feel like you're the one person who won't immediately think I'm splitting up chaggie because I ship charlastor, but with the introduction of Emily I feel like that's who should have been vaggie's partner.

We know vaggie has a white knight complex and doesn't seem to actually view Charlie as someone who can make her own decisions, or can be trusted to handle herself in certain situations. On top of that, I noticed something I thought was odd. Now I don't know the reasons behind it but if you closely watch, vaggie never refers to herself as Charlie's gf, nor does she refer to Charlie as her gf, or partner, or anything. Maybe it's a Pearl/rose quartz dynamic, but if that's the case then vaggie and Charlie shouldn't be together because they amplify each others worst behaviors. And to be fair to vaggie, she'll often give Charlie good advice and Charlie just kinda of ignored it? But then they never really have a conversation about this stuff, so neither can grow as characters.

So if they wanted to have a wlw ship where vaggie could be a protective girl without needing to help her partner grow as a person, Emily is right there. I especially feel like em would take offense at vaggie being punished for showing mercy and want to bring her back to heaven. Idk, I'm just spitballing but seeing welcome to heaven made me mad that this relationship feels so imbalanced but it'll probably be handwaved away when Charlie by all rights should feel super betrayed that this person who she's spent years with never told her a thing about this, leaving her blindsided in front of a court of other heaven dwellers. But I'm just rambling, I would love to hear someone's objective thoughts

As much as I WANT to like chaggie, I haven’t been able to. That’s not to say I think they should split, but the tropes with those two are INSANE. Sunshine x grumpy, overprotective x naive, gullible idiot x savior, etc. It’s just a LACK of story. What should’ve happened (in my own opinion), they legit should NOT have been together from the start. Their relationship should have taken time to develop and maybe even go into girlfriends if that’s what Viv wanted, but it was for a bonus star. Stories change all the time, though I just wish it developed better. Of course they were in a rush (the time constraint is crazy to me) so relationships haven’t had time. The songs literally fix everything??

Your words go back to my trope issue. savior complex with the girl who is naive about the world. It’s been clear that Vaggie is just stupidly protective of Charlie because Charlie doesn’t have it in her heart to be mean. Brings back the gullible idiot trope who needs to constantly be saved. Charlie lives in a box and Vaggie just HAS to be the one to save her from her own dumb decisions. They don’t talk and that’s another issue.

It magically gets fixed lol. In Vaggie’s song, she said “I’ll spend my life being your partner.” But we didn’t even get any “she’s my gf” until literally episode 5. Then she has this secret, which will again, be magically waved away if the trailer gave any indication. Their duet will be their grace I’m sure.

As far as Emily goes, that’s actually not bad tbh?? Vaggie gets cast out, Emily (the one who is ACTUALLY the embodiment of how an angel in Heaven should act) does not like this. It can resolve the power balance. Charlie does NOT need saving but because of her naivety, Vaggie has to save her.

Vaggie and Emily? They’d save each other.

And while Chaggie is canon and I’m not bothered that my ship never will be (Charlastor), I’ll never judge anyone for their opinions on certain ships until they start harassing people. Just because you like a dynamic doesn’t mean you want the w|w representation to go away.

We want the representation to be better. Sorry for the rambling and I’m not even sure I answered what you asked, but thanks for the ask. I’ve never had these before, lol.

[afaramir]

Your ™ (aside from faramir obv) is how unhinged you are about denethor AND having the most correct takes abt him🧡. Oh and also oranges maybe

AAAA...THANK YOU ??? THIS KNOCKED ME FLAT like for real i cannot express how much ive been thinking about this ask all day. like i was in the grocery store thinking about it. i cant decide if it's funnier if you've been here since i was 19 and a hater and watched me have my dramatic change of heart in real time or if youre new here and don't know my tragic backstory. TO ME it's hilarious to be assigned denethor girl bc like teenage me is having a heart attack but i bear the badge with pride nevertheless <3333 and thats what we call character growth!

pj had totally got me with the mad-and-vindictive-with-despair denethor gambit for years and years but literally i started working on the faramir goes to rivendell au and thought for about two seconds about how complex both faramir and boromir's relationships with their father are and how the film changes genuinely weaken all of their characters so much and did a total 180 degree turn on a dime. by doing denethor dirty i would automatically be doing faramir dirty and then i started thinking and went hang on a second he is so complex and interesting actually. like i can't emphasize how much that was the exact logic that allowed me to achieve this development.

i mean okay LISTEN TO ME oh my GOD denethor IS a good leader there's a reason why gondor stood so long alone against the enemy and he NEARLY fucking beat SAURON in 30 years worth of head-to-head knock-down-drag-out psychic stalemate warfare and he only falls into despair when he loses both of his sons. you don't need to like him to respect the achievement!

i almost put a read more here but fuck it denethorposting on main. hit j on your keyboard or do a big scroll if youre sick of me LOL

i am very well known for going totally feral over duty vs love dynamics and that is literally what is going on between denethor and his sons. he cannot be their father and their commander at the same time and they are at war!!! being their commander has to win out above all else!!! whether any of them like it or not!!! do you know what ruthlessness means do you understand that duty wins this one.

do u guys understand that denethor and faramir are a father and son who love each other above else and yet do not like each other at all. there was a schism somewhere there along the line and love without bitterness and political sniping and ideological misalignment is a DISTANT MEMORY. No Of Course He Shouldn't Have Said He Wished Faramir And Boromir's Places Exchanged Jesus Christ No Son Should Have To Hear That From Their Father But Girl Sometimes When You're Grieving You Say Stupid Shit That You Shouldn't Have. doesn't mean you should've said it but [pippin voice] we can understand poor denethor a bit better, huh?

its just so interesting to me to think about faramir and denethor's relationship from a standpoint of like. ok listen good stewards that are not good fathers and dutiful sons who will not compromise their moral compasses for love. i don't like you and i agree with approximately 1% of everything you've said ever and your expectations of me have always been unreasonably high even when i was a child but you also are the only person who could ever understand the terrifying psychic powers that just live inside my brain and you are probably the incarnation of lordly dignity and power that i have had and i have wanted to emulate all my life and i still have the instinct to ask for your approval even if i'm going to hate what you're going to say. and when i'm dying i will call out for you. and i don't like you and your moral compass is going to get you and me and everyone in our city killed and you haven't listened to a single thing i've said since you were fourteen and i fucking hate that you're listening to and trusting the fucking wizard over me but you are my best captain and you are everything that i wished i could've been without the war and you'll never understand that that's why i pushed you so hard i just wanted you to live. and if you couldn't live at least we could die together. LISTEN i am a faramir girl until the death you all KNOW THIS BUT THESE TWO THINGS ARE NOT MUTUALLY EXCLUSIVE- [i am forcibly yanked offstage]

[beeejayy]

Crona or Medusa gorgon?

Or if you really want to go out there with it maybe Maka’s mother

🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️ 😇🧸👻👽💤💝🫂💔🪢👗📓🔪🌟🥇🍫🎭❤️‍🔥💄🖕😺😬😭😶

Okay. I'm doing all of the above. It'll have to be split into multiple posts tho LOL so Crona goes first.

🏳️‍🌈 a sexuality hc- I legit don't know, Crona definitely likes girls tho 👍

🏳️‍⚧️ a gender hc- nonbinary :)))))

😇 a religion/ lack thereof- uhhh even tho I love religious symbolism ESPECIALLY relating to Crona... I really doubt Medusa sat Crona down and was like "okay Crona, open your Bible to page 25-"

🧸 a hc about their childhood- bad. We all know it's bad. I feel like Crona was rarely fed regular food either. The most they'd get WAS the souls they had to get to become a kishin. Also Crona didn't get a bed I don't remember seeing a bed in that room they were always put in.

👻 a hc about what scares them- everything.

🎶 a hc about music- they like rock, loud music but also nice melodies like "a home for flowers (omori soundtrack)" or "his theme (undertale soundtrack)"

👽 a hc about a weird quirk of theirs- they will randomly tick like- spaz out. Yes this is me projecting.

💤 a hc about their sleep- they don't care about sleep. They hate being alone with their thoughts there is rarely peace with sleep. That is until they start having sleep overs with maka..

🦾 a disability hc- Ragnarok. OKAY SORRY ANYWAY I have no idea this fella is full of bodily issues.

💝 a hc about their love language- they will give gifts and when they feel comfortable enough they will just keep saying nice things over and over again :)))

🫂 a friendship hc- I honestly like their potential/actual friendship with every character idk they just need people to be with a found family okay.

💔 an angsty hc- they don't trust any mothers. That sounds stupid but they have mommy issues and anyone filling in a mother role for them makes them uncomfortable at first. They don't know how to handle anyone trying to take care of them because they've never been taken care of. It's better to not know than anything.

🪢a hc about their family- the closest thing they have to a family member besides Medusa is Ragnarok. Honestly I think the two COULD learn to get along. Just like actual siblings they don't like constantly being near eachother. Idk tho I might be wishfully thinking.

📓 a hc about their hobbies- Crona likes to write!!! Poetry!!!! They genuinely do like it!!!

👗 a hc about their clothes- they like to wear what's comfortable. They've worn dresses their whole life it's a comfort.

🔪 a hc related to fighting/violence- they genuinely don't like fighting, they just let Ragnarok take over when they fight.

🌟 a hc about their desires/wishes- Crona just want the black blood gone. It's unrealistic but something ideal

🏅 a hc about what they're best at- FUCKING CONTORTING THEIR BODY MY GODDD

🍫 a hc about food- they like bitter foods. This fella is a dark chocolate lover LMAO

🎭 a hc about what they lie about- probably how Medusa treated them. Just hear me out, they probably don't like the reactions everyone has so they always downplay their childhood. Crona is a bad liar btw.

❤️‍🔥 a romantic hc- they are HORRIBLE at romance. They will work themself up to even TRY holding hands.

💄 an appearance hc- they probably either let their hair grow all out or shave the whole thing. Or both they can do both.

🖕 a hc relating to anger- anything related to their mom, them betraying everyone and something bad happening to Maka can get them kinda mad.

🐱 an animal related hc- they don't like snakes.

😭 a hc about the worst thing that happened to them- they still don't feel like everyone trusts them. They feel uncomfortable around Marie and Stein, it's not their fault Crona just. Feels bad still.

😶 a random hc- they have slightly crooked teeth

Thanks for the ask ^_^

[llycaons]

ep36 (1/2): we are so fucking back, baby

thank god this episode was really good. sweet and cute in part 1 and then really funny + spooky later on

I do find it really funny that wwx arranged lwj's arms like he's in a coffin. man, but his sleeping pose is so strange

I wonder if there's something to be said that lwj looks like he's always in mourning and sleeps like he's dead but he's actually the force of life and light in the life of wwx. and wwx is even more strongly associated with death through his cultivation path and his own death, but he's got so much energy and life in him (when he's not like, super depressed or traumatized that is). the balance is neat

yeah this is cute. lwj has changed in some ways since wwx has come back, in ways that I think confuse and put wwx on the defense in some cases. but overall there's a steady reliability there that I think plays a significant role in why he loves lwj - he's something familiar and comforting and dependable in a new and strange world

aww their reunion!!

love this scene! wwx never really thought he was above wen ning, but he didn't always show it so clearly. he's communicating so well to wn here - we're equals, I'm not above you, you can stand tall and not be ashamed of yourself

ohhh that's why he wanted bichen

his face is so funny and 2. man I guess that's the translation but I like bichen better

another funny scene. wen ning noisily and clumsily running away right behind wwx and wwx stumbles over his words trying to explain himself

how the FUCK did they get here. like there was no effort put into this at all lol wwx was just like 'hehe I got lost" HOW DID YOU GO FROM THE CITY CENTER TO A RANDOM FARMHOUSE

man, wyb is BACK in this episode. idk why things were so weird and cold in previous episodes but he's got so much more expression in his face this time. even his dopey blank drunk-face is like deeply intent and focused. he is honestly very cute here

LEGEND

ohhh I love this. couple quality activities

I don't think it's fair to call ss utter shit with a sword, so lwj really is just that good. goddamn.

im like really enamored with this face? god he's so open and honest and vulnerable like this

so cute I can't 😭

this makes me sooo mad because we SAW the brand on his chest we KNOW he got drunk and did that so why shouldn't he have gotten drunk off wwx's favorite wine?? huh??? at least, he did in the book iirc

side note, but as someone whose first exposure to the story was the drama, I put the pieces together pretty well myself. like, who else would it have been? it had to have been lwj himself

back to chatting about rabbits. what a goofy smile. and look how much wwx is laughing, aww

this is a great scene for the confession itself, but I've always loved most xz's performance. those big wet eyes, and all that swallowing - he's so touched he really might start crying right there. and it's so important to wwx to know that someone trusted him, and believed in him, and wished they'd done something differently to help him. the last time someone publicly defended him he did cry. it's something I love a lot about wwx

and I just like that smile so much. all that love in there. that affection. almost looking like nostalgia

I like the idea that wwx is someone who can remember who he was when he was young more easily with lwj - that innocence and energy and joy he used to have

this is also really funny. I'm sure it's not nine. he's just announcing it is because he's going to sleep now, so it must be

and the only time we see him with a nightmare postres. makes sense that he still gets them - BM and the war was only a few years ago

aww his smile when he sees the kids is so cute

THE FAKE MOUSTACHE I CAN'T

some sick burns these kids are delivering