#trying to hold it together ...

[purplbear]

Husband and I tried something new at dinner tonight, saying something positive, that we enjoyed, or liked from our day. Life has been really really hard for us.

…

I told a cute story of going to the pharmacy with my dad (we both had meds to pick up) and teasing, being teased by the pharmacy tech and just laughing lots. It was a nice moment today.

My husband enjoyed a sandwich he had for lunch, claiming it was like the sandwich in France (we live in US) and was nice to enjoy something so yummy.

It’s a nice feeling to spend a moment in those enjoyments from the day. Makes them feel … bigger. ❤️

[delphidewirests]

Productivity Journey

I am writing this 2 days later almost. Primarily because last Friday was a unique experience. I was awake all night because I had first coffee around 9:45 on Thursday, and the second on 2:30am. I kept awake with the storm. I was studying 'female deselection' when the day broke, and it was dark, raining. I have been trying to get to a land where a small house has been demolished so there was soil. I wanted to bring some for my plants. I went it was raining hard. I collected some soil in a bucket, and and two plants. One fern and one mango. I wish they live to grow big bushy and happy as possible. That is how a day starts. I love rainy days.

Coffee effect wore off around 11:30am, that's when I went to sleep finally. Woke up around 1:30pm. Had my period. Hard physical work does wonders. YES. I meant that.

Day 3 - 25/10/2024

What I am proud of/happy about - (why do they have this green?)

I could see the daybreak while I was studying.

I started reading the book I wanted to, for so long. Read few pages, took some notes, did some reference work.

I brought two plants, immediately potted them. Cleaned the areas.

Did Spanish on Duo for 20 minutes. Took notes.

Slept for 4 hours. (The keyword is SLEPT)

Woke up, brushed, ate.

Did a meeting. (I was shitty in the meeting. But anyways. Will work on that)

Watched a movie. Was emotionally available enough to enjoy that and notice the details.

Made myself a tea that altered the period flow into magic.

Worked on a soundtrack we are trying to make for a friend. (Had been delaying this for so long!!!)

Did some journaling.

Slept within 1am.

What I am not proud of/happy about -

Couldn't concentrate on anything.

Routine was shitty.

Bad sleeping pattern.

Emotionally in a very bad place, and I have no idea how to handle this. (crying help to a wall)

Didn't start writing the proposal. YET.

Didn't take inhalers. NONE.

Took the nasal spray at 9 at night.

[yarrystyleeza]

Me trying to push through the last week of exams:

[coiled-dragon]

Today is FINE

Today will be FINE

Its all gonna be fucking FINE

[smiles-on-a-rainy-day]

It's a place I've been spending quite a bit of time in lately

bethdrawsthings

[writingtokeepmesane]

Growing Pains

There’s a very specific kind of sadness that you feel right in the center of your chest. It’s an ache like someone’s taking the end of a 5lb dumbbell and pressing it into your sternum. Not everyone can make you feel this way. This is a kind of pain that is reserved for those who are closest to you. The ones that say things like “she’s crazy,” when you’re just trying to explain how you’re feeling. They make you want to immediately retreat from them, yet at the same time want their approval. It’s a sick and twisted feeling. It’s a well shaken cocktail of despair that you’ll never live up to their impossible standards and deep-seated anger that you ever allowed them to make you feel that way in the first place. They don’t need more than a disapproving facial expression to make you feel less than or doubt yourself. I understand it’s not healthy to live in the past, but when you’re around these particular people it’s impossible not to revert back to the most vulnerable version of yourself. The version of you they had the most power over, because there was nowhere else to go, no way to make your voice heard without it being immediately brushed off and disregarded. No ability to say “you hurt me!” Because that would require them to take accountability. There’s just “she’s crazy.” There is never going to be an apology because there is no apology where there is no acknowledgment. Growing up in a home with a narcissist means never getting that apology that the vulnerable version of you always desperately needed, and that’s the deepest pain of all.

[vulgarkatt]

Hey anybody else really need a hug rn or just me?

[ptsdickgrayson]

I had psychosis all night but it’s okay it’s my birthday

[forestscribe4]

I'm having a bad day and just want to reblog pretty things.

[plagueislost]

petition to let bernard be crazy in canon. your honor theyre a conspiracy theorist and a stalker theyre perfect for each other

[delphidewirests]

Productivity Journey

Today was shitty. Slept almost all day. The weather is rainy. I love that, because it makes sleeping fun. I want to cuddle in this weather. But still, I am proud of myself for certain things. It's almost the dawn of 25th Oct. But until the sun comes out, I think I am going to consider it to be 24th. *Peace*

I am lowkey losing my ability to process memories. Maybe this is an impact of the steroid from the halers. I do not want to live with my memories lost. Or, maybe life is going to change. But then, I won't be able to teach anymore. Because I lose words amidst lectures and sentences nowadays. I wish I could be my older self, who remembered more. Could learn whole scripts fast (*even others lines*). So, I am lowkey hating halers right now. Especially the lupihaler.

Day 2 - 24/10/2024

Things I am proud of

Woke up and folded sheets.

Brushed, ate properly.

Finished watching Bojack Horseman.

Started working on my memoir. I don't know why, it has always been my dream of writing this piece. So, today, I started. I keep feeling like writing a book.

Took a session. Earned a bit.

Didn't obsess over facebook.

Wrote payslip for one college.

Did some Spanish on Duolingo.

Made dinner for baba.

Read only 3-4 pages.

Replied to mithi.

Took nasal spray, took inhaler once.

Did some journaling.

Things I am not super proud of -

Didn't have a bath.

Had 2 cups of coffee after 6pm.

Slept way too much. 10 hours.

Didn't read much.

Couldn't work on my proposal.

Didn't take second dose of inhaler.

Special mention - I received praise for my writing today. Prose that is. I think I should start working on a creative piece as well. I am thankful I was/am able to write. ♥

[parisoonic]

pals drinking together (hand practice that got out of control)

[proxycrit]

(I point. Gently, in the voice of somebody who’s mind touched by the outer gods, i whisper truth in your ears:

Your honor the horses are now lesbians

(Anyways here’s the designs)

[doodoodinklefart]

pov fallin in love w ur homie cuz he's so pretty all of a sudden?!?!

[magicpiano]

Bruce Wayne had a child that was somehow kidnapped right out of the hospital just hours after being born. He of them ever stopped looking despite how cold the trail had grown.

Years later there is some rouge attack and a civilian child was injured and taken to the hospital. Bruce does a DNA test on the blood found at the scene and concludes that the child is actually his long lost kid.

Dani was planning to sneak out of the hospital the moment the doctors stopped looking at her. Then Bruce Wayne of all people comes in and claims that she is his long lost child. She knows that this is very impossible because she is a clone, but Bruce won't listen to her and she really doesn't want to explain the clone thing to a "normal" stranger.

This does brings up a lot of questions about how Danny ended up living with the Fentons though.

[tsukiglitch]

Messy Random Ragbros in different outfit doodles.

(Why do I keep drawing siblings in different types of clothing instead of their canon ones recently? i mean it was only 2 times now but still)