#tw gender dysphoria mention

[kiwisandpearls]

my gender identity is really weird and complicated for me and I kinda hate that I still don’t have a definitive idea of it.

i can’t find myself fully identifying with any of the more bigger well known gender identities.

I know for a fact I’m not cis, but I also doubt that I’m trans, I’ve never experienced gender dysphoria other than simple discomfort over some gendered labels and titles I’ve been referred by, but I also don’t think nonbinary as a label fits me, but I also can’t see myself as being genderfluid nor multigender but I also doubt that I’m gender nonconforming.

“Ok, then just say you don’t wanna label yourself?”

maybe that’s an easy answer for some people but for me personally I want to have that tiny little box of other people to fit in with. And the fact I’m having such a hard time finding that box makes me feel pathetic.

irl, most people just perceive me as being cis and use the pronouns that were assigned to me at birth. I’m terrified of telling people how I actually feel and it’s just easier to keep my mouth shut about it. Heck most people irl don’t even know I’m aromantic and I’m sure they’d have a field day if they found out about that.

And thankfully not saying anything about my gender identity is easier for me (for me PERSONALLY not everyone, please do not apply my own personal experiences to others) because I’m just apathetic to it. But I know that I’m not totally happy being perceived that way because the one time one person offhandedly referred to me as with they/them pronouns irl, I felt euphoric on the inside.

I just don’t have a clear idea of what I even want to identify as and it just makes me feel shitty all around

[chilei-the-hotsauce]

how do i get back to the character creation screen, i dont like this gender

[angeltism]

sorry for all the talk abt dysphoria I don't usually notice it (repressing it bc "there's nothing I can do about it anyways so why even think about it") but today I've been doing a lot of thinking about how i view myself and holy FUCK is dysphoria stupid because I realized I somehow got myself to believe I was somehow faking being a girl, a boy AND genderqueer ?? like not all in one breath but I very much had the thought process of "everyone knows I'm a trans freak they don't see me as a girl they see me as some mentally ill weirdo", "I'm not a real boy and everyone knows I'm just a mentally ill girl" and "nobody will ever see me as genderqueer because I'm so inconsistent with my gender presentation and I can barely find any words to describe it so nobody will ever truly see me as i am"

sorry aqua brain then what the FUCK do you think people see you as. what. anyways fuck those voices in my head I am fully valid w my genderqueerness and if people are worth sticking around they'll respect me and see me as I am. ha

[fudanshiatlas]

what the fuck fukase was dysphoric today??!?!???!??? im worried about him what...?!??!???!????! i wish he'd talk to me about that stuff...

[dysphoric-culture-is]

Hey so with the barbie movie coming out mod is once again seeing comments like “I’m nonbinary and wish I could just have flat genitalia like a doll, it would take away my dysphoria”. Mod got a dysphoric culture ask about it like 2 years ago actually and now there are more so:

This is possible.

If your transition goal is to have a complete removal of all your internal and external genitalia, there is a real surgery that people get to do that. It’s called genital nullification.

It’s also called nullectomy or nullo.

It’s not a very new or super complicated surgery. Everything is taken out/taken off and you’re left with just a hole for your urethra (where you urinate out of). The urethra may be moved as part of surgery. If you research the procedure you’ll also probably hear them talk about urethral shortening, because nullification is mostly done on cis men/transfems/nonbinary patients who require a penectomy as part of the surgery.

Now don’t get this for an aesthetic or because you like how dolls look. It takes 6-8 weeks of recovery and is as serious a decision as any other bottom surgery. More info is here and here. This website has some info and pictures (graphic warning) of nullification along with phallus-preserving vaginoplasty, another nonbinary surgery.

Hopefully this helps someone!

[flowerakatsuka]

some doodles based on the gender thoughts i've been having about kuroba the past few days, mostly on how their appearance changed between middle school and their final year of high school. i also thought it'd be funny if kuroba didn't get recognized by classmates while they were helping at the flower shop back then, ( foreshadowing ig. )

[crepuscular-coyote]

This body isn't MINE and I hate it. How it dictates my emotions based on some stupid biological thing and I'm practically a puppet for my body to toy with.

The weights on my chest that I never wanted, the parts that I never wanted that do unnecessary things, the way I look and sound and it's all too much.

This body isn't mine. I just don't know whose it is.

[theshadow-inthelight]

I really need a better way to describe my dysphoria to older folks (usually conservative)

because I don't think saying "if I don't get top surgery by the time I'm thirty, I will end up killing myself ' will really ...work the way I need it too

And the ways I've tried so far I usually just get weird responses like them asking if I'll grow out of it, or if it's trauma related. Like how do I explain that no I don't think it's from my past trauma because I've worked through that and it hasn't decreased my discomfort,if anything im more uncomfortable now than I used to be about a lot of things. Like how...how do you describe dysphoria to people who have never experienced it.

[joestarkisser]

tw// gender dysphoria mention.

Are you a transfem/transmasc selfshipper who doesn't have dysphoria?

No genital dysphoria?

No chest dysphoria?

No hip dysphoria?

No body dysphoria at all?

No voice dysphoria?

No behavior dysphoria?

No social dysphoria?

No dysphoria at all?

Are you a transfem/transmasc selfshipper who has a 'bad' identity?

Bi/pan/ply/omni/etc lesbian?

Bi/pan/ply/omni etc gay?

Straight lesbian?

Straight gay?

Trans man lesbian?

Trans woman gay?

Neopronouns?

Use pronouns aligning with your AGAB?

Anything considered 'atypical'?

Are you a transfem/transmasc selfshipper who's more comfortable being trans then they would be cis?

Who's still comfortable with being called a man or woman?

Are you a transmasc selfshipper who wants surgeries like breast augmentation, yet still are trans men?

Are you a transfem/transmasc selfshipper who has no desire to pass?

Are you a transfem/transmasc selfshipper who has no desire to transition, be it medically or otherwise?

Everything about you is valid.

Your F/Os love you.

Your gender, your identity, is a personal and unique experience.

No matter if you're 'bad' for all this, or if people blame oppression on you...

Your F/Os know you. They understand you. You are loved.

[mothseatinghumanflesh]

[fr0zenballs]

Small Rant/Vent

Cw/Tw/Mentions: Genitals in a Nonsexual Manner + Gender and Species Dysforia

Aaghhhhh this is probably going to sound really weird but I genuinely think I would prefer to have a more realistic werewolf sheath (with or without a shaft nub I don't care) packer than I would a usual humanoid realistic packer.

I've been getting pretty bad bottom dysforia lately and one of the things that has been comforting me is calling my bottom growth my sheath and my tip because of the way it feels in my hands. And that makes me feel so much better because it makes me feel way more like a t-fueled werewolf that's growing his sheath in rather that a sad human with the wrong set of genitals (even though I am technically both a sad human and a happy werewolf).

Plus the idea of having more werewolf oriented genitals gives me both gender euphoria and species euphoria, as someone who is both transgender and a canine!!

But it's not like I'm saying that I wouldn't be over the moon with a typical packer!! Quite the opposite actually, the idea of having a normal penis is still very appealing to me, hence why I plan to get bottom surgery in the future ^_^

Sorry if this rant(vent?) was weird or offputting, I just really needed to get my thoughts out of my head!!

P.S: If anyone knows where I could get something like I described please let me know!!! I probably will end up making my own at some point but It'll take a lot of work and sewing on my part-

[chilei-the-hotsauce]

i am. aggressive today.

[our-trans-youth-experience]

ok tw sexual its kinda gross

ok so i am a "shorstack" type body type guy (not really! but i look very similar to that. think terezi pyrope or tavros nitram. also aradia megido)

my body is very feminine and very sensitive. i cry easily but i am a lot stronger mentally. it's just my body is not me at all and fails to replicate my feelings very well.

i feel like fetish material... i feel like if anyone loves me it's because the thought of a masculine sea dweller eboy mind with a hyperfeminine and crybaby body makes them horny. I'm afraid someone out there only wants to be close to me because of the thought of impregnating me. while I'm experiencing my phantom limbs or such.

how can i get over this? it makes me feel horrible about myself and is fueling my impulsive thoughts.

Don't have anything useful to mention myself (I'm aroace, romance-averse and sex-repulsed), but if anyone else has any thoughts/advice, please let me know!!

[cryptidsandchamomile]

Gender dysphoria + not feeling like you have a complete sense of self is the worst combo actually

[dysphoric-culture-is]

Question— if gender is a social construct, then how does body/sex dysphoria exist, especially stuff like phantom limb that many trans people get?/gen. Although I guess I’ll never know, I think that if I spent my whole life on a deserted island and never had any human contact I’d still feel something off about my body and stuff. Like, having more or less pieces of paper doesn’t actually affect you, it’s the value that you put on those pieces that make money important, but I don’t think that’s how gd operates?

People (correctly) call gender a social construct because, like money, it's a concept that humans made up and have developed over thousands of years.

Societal standards about gender (AKA gender roles) dictate how people think about gender, and those standards are very cisnormative. The normal value and qualities given to gender by societal standards don't leave room for trans, nonbinary, intersex, and gender non-conforming people. For example in Western society the traditional thinking goes: long hair=boobs=feminine=woman and beard=no boobs=masculine=man etc even if that's not true.

So body dysphoria can exist because the social construct of gender says that certain body parts or features 'belong' to certain genders, and so anyone that doesn't fit that can experience dysphoria.

For example, a transfem who's spent her whole life growing up in a society that thinks p*nis=man is probably going to have bottom dysphoria (especially if she was assigned male at birth because of her genitalia).

And for your example of the island, trans and intersex people who live in more accepting places (with cultures that recognize gender diversity or that that don't equate gender with body parts) might be less dysphoric. Trans people who live alone may also be less dysphoric because they aren't being judged based on their bodies. That being said when the average person is cis and your body doesn't function/look the same way as theirs it can still make you feel dysphoric or weird about your body!

So if you lived on an deserted island there's no way to know if you'd still have body dysphoria if you'd never had any human contact but chances are that even if you felt off/weird, you wouldn't even have a sense of gender. The sense of weirdness is still valid but your no-human-contact self probably wouldn't be able to understand it.

The way people experience their dysphoria, just like the way people think about gender roles or value money or perform social customs etc, is very much influenced by their culture.

And so people with no/low dysphoria often just don't care as much about the traditional construct of gender. They know their body parts don't control their gender no matter what people say and it doesn't bother them that much. For people who do experience body dysphoria though, even if you know that body parts don't equal gender they can still bother you a lot (especially if people have invalidated you [or you've invalidated yourself] based on them).

Hopefully mod understood your question and this helps anon! Dysphoria is different for everyone and it's a tricky question.

[autisticwriterblog]

Welcome to: gender thoughts and worrying with Riley

Putting this under a cut because it's all about gender dysphoria, my thoughts about potentially starting HRT, transphobia and misgendering, and also some pretty TMI details.

Okay, so I've been comfortable describing myself as a transmasc person, or a NB trans man. Something very man-adjacent. And I'm happy with he/they pronouns (although I wish my family would use he/him more often - but that sounds ungrateful because I'm so glad they all got used to they/them, even my grandparents). Basically, I'm comfortable in my gender. But I sometimes wonder if I want my body to be different.

Top surgery was, without exaggeration, one of the best things that ever happened to me. I'm so much happier in myself, I can actually look at myself shirtless now, and I love touching my scars and seeing my flat chest under my shirts. I love everything about it.

But it sometimes doesn't feel like enough. I worry that everyone still views me as a girl who just cut her tits off. I met my aunt's boyfriend and within five minutes, he was talking to my aunt and said, "I was just asking Riley what sort of video games she likes." And I was sitting there in my clothes from the men's department and my buzz cut hair and my pretty androgynous appearance (I've naturally got a deeper voice for someone AFAB, I'm not that short and I have big feet, and I have a bit of very dark facial hair on my upper lip that the women in my family all pluck or bleach because they're self conscious about it, but I like it) and as I said above, my flat fucking chest under my POTF T-shirt. And yet he she/her'd me and it infuriated me. I clearly can't pass well enough to fool even someone who never met me before I came out.

(Side note: I really don't like the guy. He's a conspiracy theorist weirdo and he misgendered my aunt's god-son (not actually their relationship but it's easier to explain this way) multiple times and it was so fucking awkward. He kept asking about this couple's 'daughter' and I said "X and Y don't have a daughter" and he still kept doing it. Fucking prick.)

Anyway, this whole thing got me thinking about T again. I've always said I don't want it because you can't pick and choose what it'll give you. And for example, whilst I'd love my voice to be deeper and facial hair sounds pretty rad, I'm really not sure about the going through puberty all over again thing and there's a chance I'd lose my hair and I don't want that, and I'm 50/50 on if bottom growth would be an improvement or not. So, yeah, I always ruled it out.

But... I want to pass. I want to be read androgynous or masc, not just a butch woman. And I really think some parts of T would help. And who knows? Maybe I would like bottom growth? Who fucking knows. I'm already dysphoric about my genitals, so even though I mentioned worrying about that above, I'm not sure bottom growth could make things worse for me down there. I'm also a bit concerned about libido increase, but it's actually already been up recently since I got my first crush and I'm learning to deal with it. Plus, I did experience some of that during puberty and I survived.

Oh, and the hysterectomy thing is very likely to fall through because my doctor is fatphobic, so I'm kinda fucked about my painful periods for ages. But for a lot of people, T weakens or even stops their periods. And I keep thinking about how if that happened to me, it'd possibly solve my period dysphoria problem without having to pay £8000 for private surgery (because the NHS would never do it), assuming that my doctor would even do it even though he said he didn't have a fucking weight limit when I fucking paid £200 for a consultation. But I'm getting off topic.

Plus, I'm an impulsive person who changes his mind really easily, so my anxiety is being bitch and making me think "what if I regret it?!" even though that almost never happens and it's a fucking TERF talking point in my country. I don't even know what I'm trying to say anymore.

But the biggest part is... I live with my parents and I need help with a lot of things bc autism (I can't drive or go anywhere on my own and I need help with phone calls and all sorts of shit that mean I'm never going to be independent), so if they had a problem with me taking T for whatever reason, I'd be fucked. They've always been supportive and say that they'll help me with whatever as long as it makes me happy... but what if me taking hormones would be a step too far for them? My dad still hasn't seen me shirtless and I worry it's because he still thinks I'm a girl. So he might freak out. Or maybe my mum would and that would hurt even more because she's the person I love most in the world and I wouldn't want her to hate me.

I just get scared of everything. And I want to be happy and I wonder sometimes if hormones would help. Or if even bringing up the topic with my family would make everything fall apart.