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#uhh.....youre ugly
softquietsteadylove · 9 months
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Hey i know you already make a Thenamesh hunger games au and i just can't keep my mind of it specially now, Can we ask for a part 2 of it maybe when they already in the battle field.
Ikaris was not invincible. None of them were. Thena said so herself.
Gil stared him down, his chest heaving from running through this bizarre fabrication of a tropical jungle. He needed fresh water - any water - and fast. And now he was facing down by far the deadliest tribute in here.
Well, maybe the second deadliest.
"Oi," Ikaris tipped his chin at him, "tadpole."
Gil almost rolled his eyes before he remembered his order to never take his eyes off the enemy. He gulped. Ikaris was not invincible. Ikaris had a terrible temper.
"You volunteered, right?--for your nerd brother," Ikaris grinned at him, completely menacing. He certainly had the handsomeness and charm of a Capitol trained career tribute. "Y'know my bitch companion volunteered for her brother, too. She's the reason I'm in here."
Ikaris had a terrible temper. He was easily baited. Gil gulped, "I-I thought you careers all wanted the chance to fight in the Games."
"Yeah but not 'cause blondie got me stuck here."
Thena was right, Ikaris would kill anyone, and she was top of his list.
Gil kept his weight on his feet light. He wasn't as agile as Thena, but he knew he was definitely stronger than Ikaris. Ikaris had showy muscles for a specific strength, but Gil was certain he could out strong-arm him. It was the murdering that Ikaris would have the upper hand in.
"I've seen 'er talk to you," Ikaris continued. "You know where she is?"
Gil's blood chilled. That was why Ikaris hadn't launched a spear right through his heart on sight. He was hunting for Thena - his biggest competition - first. "No."
"What'd she promise you?" Gil didn't like the smirk on his face. "A li'l, uh, fun, eh?"
Gil's stomach twisted.
"You help me find her," Ikaris fixed his cold blue eyes on him, "I'll let you make good on that promise."
"I know she'd launch herself out of the arena before she would let you touch her."
Ikaris had a terrible temper, and the effect was obvious and immediate. He snarled, baring his teeth.
Taunt him, tease him, anything necessary, Gil heard in Thena's voice. He glared at him more, "that what pisses you off the most? That Thena doesn't care for your Golden Boy act? That she's the only girl in the world who doesn't want a damn thing to do with you?!"
"Shut your filthy mouth, you loach!"
Gil gripped Ikaris' arms as he charged in at him. Thena was right about his technique being simple and sloppy, too. He used brute strength, but he didn't have skill like she had. Gil had sparred with her a few times during assessments; Ikaris was nothing in comparison. Heavier, but nothing.
In retrospect, it was probably Thena doing him a favor and letting him show off his strength, even then. She had a weird way of looking out for him, and he only hoped he would get to pay it back somehow.
Gil twisted Ikaris' arm around, wrenching his wrist the wrong way and stealing his spear for himself. This would help him fish if there was any water to be found at all in this hell.
"Coward!" Ikaris roared at him as he scrambled to pursue him, injured or not.
Gil kept running. He didn't want to kill anyone in here. Not even Ikaris.
"Get back here!"
Gil squeezed his eyes shut. Ikaris was faster than he was. He sprinted harder, but he had been running this whole time. He didn't have the stamina of someone who had trained for this their whole life.
"Open your eyes!"
Gil skidded to a stop, slipping slightly on the jungle floor. He twisted to look behind him, vines and leaves in his way. He saw a flash of gold, and Ikaris a few paces behind him. Then Ikaris had a knife in his shoulder. Two--three knives driven into Ikaris' already injured side threw him to the ground.
"Move!" Thena turned, screaming at him over the drum of blood in his ears. She reached out, gripping the shoulder of his sparkly uniform suit and dragging him with her. "Come on!"
Gil let her basically drag him with her. He looked at her hand. She had her knives, a blade of any kind being her signature weapon of choice.
"Gil!" she barked at him, pulling him behind a tree and shaking him. "Look at me!"
He blinked, trying to make sense of what he was seeing. He had been fighting Ikaris. But now he was looking at Thena, with her blonde hair in a tight braid, her pretty green eyes, her pale skin. He was in the jungle, with Thena.
"Gilgamesh," she shook him again. This was why Kingo told him that Thena had so much skill; she didn't have the personality for tribute gifts. She was beautiful, though. "Gilgamesh, look at me and listen."
"I am listening."
"Where are you?"
"The Capitol," he repeated dumbly, just staring at her. But the edges of his vision were coming back, slowly. "The Games--the dome."
"Where is your home?"
"District 4." Home, in his little shack he shared with Phastos, Dad buried on the island and barely scraping by, just the two of them.
"Who are you here for?"
"My brother." Phastos wasn't a Fighter. He was a Thinker--he was gentle hearted, and kind, and he wouldn't have survived in here. Phastos had someone who loved him. Phastos had found love, somehow, in a world like this--a love that was already hard enough. "I'm here for my brother."
"Good." She nodded sharply, slapping him on the arm. She had a sparkly jumpsuit on too, but hers looked better than the rest, Gil thought. She gripped the two - mismatched - knives in her hands. "Let's go."
"Thena," he blinked.
"Here." She said it softer, pulling out a tiny canister from the side pocket on her leg. "It's not much, but there was some rain dripping off the tip of the cornucopia."
Gil gulped down what little water it was. She was right it wasn't much, but by all the districts it was more than he'd had, and he needed it.
"We have to keep moving."
Gil swiped at his chin and licked his lips, eager for every little drop. He looked at Thena's back as she started walking ahead of him, head twitching every which way to keep a lookout for them. "Please tell me you had some of that too."
Thena didn't even look over her shoulder at him. "Have you found any food?"
That was a no. Gil huffed, gripping the spear he had gotten from Ikaris. "I was looking for water. Even if there are weeds at the bottom, I can make us something edible."
That did get her attention. She nodded, saving her words and moving along.
"You're here for Druig," Gil said, and finally got to see some sort of human reaction from her. "That's what you keep telling yourself, right?"
Thena pushed some foliage out of their way, seeming to head in a very determined direction. "Might help keep you sane."
Gil understood that well. He cleared his throat, making sure not to trip on any roots or get caught on any vines. "Phastos...he's really nice. He's funny, too. He's not that strong a swimmer, but he, uh, he like--he invents stuff? Like h-he made a contraption that helps us get the nets in faster. Like an engine that makes the arm on the boat into a fishing rod reel."
Thena paused, holding a leaf up for him to follow. She was smiling. "He sounds like a good kid, Gil."
He smiled at her too, holding up the leaf for himself. She was shorter now that he was closer to her. "What's your brother like?"
Thena waited, really seeming like she was debating answering him at all. But she sliced through a vine in front of them and sighed. "Druig is four years younger than me. He shouldn't have been in the draw to begin with, he was just born early."
He was born early, and already as young as he could be to be in the draw--no wonder she had volunteered for him without hesitation.
"We have no one else," she said more quietly, looking around again. "I made Ajak promise me that if I died, that she would make sure he was taken care of."
"I'm sure he will be," Gil said quickly. They were pretty hollow words. But he meant them all the same. She looked at him just the way he would expect, too. But he smiled, "if he's as smart as you say he is, right?"
That seemed to surprise her. She smiled again, that pretty one that made her a crowd favourite. She smiled with her teeth; he thought it was cute. "Smarter."
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fexjam · 2 months
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Medic headcanons💉
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sillystringedrat · 11 months
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Should’ve joined the SMOKE CLUB you nerdy pruuuuuuuuuudeee
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squishdraws · 1 year
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whatever
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pennysbees · 25 days
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the reincarnation in misao is so funny to me, specifically kurata turning into a cat because like. imagine finding out your cat was an incel pedophile murderer and probable necrophile in a past life. literally what do you even do in that situation?? do you keep the cat?? i think i'd have to rehome it man that shits just crazy
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meowmeowmessi · 1 year
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not even kidding when i say this match was genuinely unironically so much more entertaining than this year's ucl final
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holydivers · 6 months
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i wish i could preview my neocities site without having to save and view it. i just want to test if this works we don't have to make it a whole thing
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kateis-cakeis · 2 months
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people are really so weird and so fatphobic huh
(and oops most of my commentary is in the tags XD)
#people really out here acting like some chocolate is gonna kill you#idk maybe you should check how stats and data actually work and not just blindly trust things that get it wrong and such#because hate to break it to ya but increased risk does not equal absolute risk#it just increases the risk which is normally only by a small margin and doesnt mean anything in reality because it doesn't mean that it's#absolutely 100% going to happen that's not what risk or increased risk means#anyway this reminds of when a friend of mine took part in a study#and they were like oh yeah you have a 6% chance of a heart attack in the next 10 years#they asked if they lost weight would that decrease by a lot and the person was like uhh by like 1% it's really not the big deal everyone#makes it out to be people are just fatphobic because that's the society we've built that at all times you must be skinny#or you aren't worth anything or worse when people act like you're such a strain on the system#and that you dont deserve to have healthcare like i will scream#everyone needs to stop being so damn weird about it!!!!!!!!!!#it's literally fine it's so literally fine#you know actually thinking about increased risk with alcohol and smoking - to which is totally your choice and up to you btw#i knew someone who smoked like a chimney and drank like a fish and lived to his 70s and died of something completely unrelated#increased risk is just that increased by a certain percentage which is like not a lot in the grand scheme of things to really put it into#perspective when you have like 1 in 100 chance and the increased risk is 100% that just raises it to 2 in 100 which yes is just 1% to 2%#i will scream when people act like food is going to kill you - especially when it gets so bad people act like fruit is bad for you because#of sugar like i will cry i will start sobbing because all of this is why im pretty sure most people have disordered eating#if not full on eating disorders and that's the real concern how our attitudes make people change their behaviours and develop mental health#conditions because society is just so insistent on this one issue that you can't escape it's bad it's so bad and i hope one day#we get past all this and people can just live how they want without others getting on their backs#fatphobic people are the reason why so many people i know think they're worthless and ugly and i just that's so upsetting to me and yes yes#there's the major issues like doctors ignoring symptoms in favour of just lose weight! and then just send people into the world with 0 help#in that oh and oops now they've got an eating disorder when the problem in the first place was not weight <.<#and even if it was (which it rarely ever is) it's like okay where's the help then because there is no help and then study after study is#like oh btw dieting doesnt work lol and then what do you do what do you do im gonna start screaming hdfghsdfg#anyway sorry these tags are long im just so tired and so frustrated at the world and i hope one day people get over themselves
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happy74827 · 2 months
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Joyride
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[Wade Wilson x Female!Reader]
Synopsis: Remember kids, always look at the road when driving. It can help you avoid certain blabber mouths 🫶
WC: 2556
Category: Fluff, Annoying!Deadpool, 4th Wall Breaks, Insane Amounts of Profanity {TW: Deadpool (for obvious reasons)}
In honor of watching Deadpool 3 (super good btw), enjoy this random chaotic fic I created with the help of @yoursacredqueenmother. This is super chaotic lmfao
『••✎••』
Shit. Shit. Shit. SHIT.
A millisecond ago, you were driving down a street. In the middle of traffic. At a red light. Now, you were panicking, looking over the front of your car for the flash of red you had just seen. It took a couple of seconds for you to realize that there was blood on your car and on the ground—a lot of blood.
"Oh, shit. Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, oh shit!"
You quickly hopped out of the car, rushing to the spot you thought the person… or thing would be, but… there was nobody. There was blood on the ground but nobody.
Did you hit a deer, and it just… ran off? No, that can't be right. You definitely saw something red, and it most certainly was not a deer.
You looked around, confused. How the hell does something bleed all over the ground and then disappear without a trace?!
You got back in your car, deciding to drive to the closest police station. Maybe they knew something about this.
So, you decided to abandon the shortcut home and drive to the nearest police station, which happened to be just down the road. But as you were minutes into the drive, you felt the sudden urge to look in your rearview mirror.
And there you found your mysterious red-suited victim in the backseat, holding the biggest knife you have ever seen as his white-covered eyes stared at you from behind the mask.
You never hit the brakes faster in your life. The car made an ugly screeching sound, and the sudden force slammed the red-clad man into the back of your seat, making him let out a surprised yelp.
The car finally came to a stop, and the masked man recovered quickly, pushing himself off of your seat and glaring at you.
"Well, aren’t you just a heart break—"
He didn’t get the chance to finish his sentence.
You grabbed your keys from the ignition and popped off the attached pepper spray, turning around and squirting him in the face. He let out a scream, and you quickly got out of the car, shutting the door and running as fast as you could.
Unfortunately, you didn’t get very far. Despite being hit by a car, and subsequently getting pepper sprayed, the man (or what you assume to be) caught up with you and blocked your path, his hands on his hips, his head cocked to the side.
"Alright, lady, what the fuck?" He asked, his voice sounding nasally, most likely because of the spray.
You stared at him, confused. He looked like he was waiting for an explanation.
"W-What the fuck?! What the fuck me? What the fuck you!" You exclaimed, your voice cracking a little. "What the fuck are you doing in my car?!"
"Well, I was trying to hitch a ride! But clearly, that didn't work out. Thanks a lot, by the way, for the pain and suffering. You’ve really opened up my horizons here."
It almost sounded like he was pouting.
"What the—! A ride?! Why in the hell would you just hop into someone's car?!"
"Uhh, because you ran me over, genius! I mean, come on, the least you could do is offer a guy a ride home after that. And then, the cherry on top of the fucking sundae: pepper spray!"
The masked man, so to speak, threw his arms up in the air, and you could almost see him rolling his eyes underneath the mask. Of course, that’s when you noticed the obvious broken bones in his hands. And the blood. There was a lot of blood.
"Look," the guy started, walking closer to you. "I know, I'm a big scary guy with a big scary knife and a bad temper and all, and you’re just… well, I’m sure you have an amazing personality, but how about we put all that aside, and you give me a ride, alright? Just drop me off at the corner of 10th and 55th, and you can forget this ever happened."
"You’re arm… your wrist. It's broken," you told him.
"Yeah, no shit," the man scoffed. "Got any Taylor Swift CDs in that car?"
"Uh… no, not really. Why?"
"Cause, baby, I’m Shaking It Off!"
There was a pregnant pause, and you weren't quite sure if he was being serious or not. I mean, surely he wasn’t about to just ignore the fact that his arm was the complete opposite of norm—
But when he shook his arm in a violent manner, and a loud crack followed suit, you realized, with a heavy heart, that yes, this guy was serious.
What you didn’t know until a few seconds later, however, was that he snapped his bones back into place like it was nothing. It took the flexing in his fingers to realize it, too.
"Holy shit." You truly were in awe.
He seemed to find amusement in your expression, tilting his head slightly and giving you a once-over. And, yes, you could feel his eyes on you, and for some reason, it sent a shiver down your spine.
"So… Wendy Torrance, about that ride? Can you give me a lift, or are we gonna start that chick flick moment where your mental breakdown leads to slow-motion running to a Sia song?"
You could only stare.
"Alright, well, if you're going through with the latter, then at least play something that doesn’t involve that little dancing girl who likes to wear potato sacks as clothes."
You couldn’t believe this was happening.
"You are literally insane." You breathed out, shaking your head.
Even if you couldn’t see it, something told you that he made the biggest grin underneath his mask.
"Why, thank you, darling."
Fast forward a couple of minutes, and you found yourself driving towards the address the red-suited stranger had given you. You couldn’t really make conversation. He had his hands in his lap, playing with a knife, and was staring at you, his head tilted.
"You can blink, you know. I'm not a zombie," he informed you, making a gesture to his mask and eyes, which you assumed he was blinking underneath.
"Right," you nodded.
“Well, mostly, at least. I mean, I still have a pulse, but it's kind of irregular, and I think it's because I keep getting shot and stabbed in the heart. Oh, and I guess I'm also pretty much immortal, so that's probably the reason. But I think the whole not-dying thing cancels out the heartbeat thing, right? Like, the more times you get impaled or decapitated or set on fire, the more it doesn’t matter because it doesn’t affect you anymore, am I right?"
You glanced at him. He was staring at you, his hands still and his knife resting on his leg.
"…Do you ever shut up?"
"Woah-hoho, feisty. And here I thought I was going to break the ice with a good ol' fashioned knock knock joke."
"I don’t think that would've been funny."
"That's what the last girl said."
"Oh yeah?"
"Mhm. Except she wasn’t talking about the joke. I made her laugh in a different way."
You glanced at him again, and he was giving you a knowing look.
"I can't decide if you're disgusting or not."
He hummed, shrugging his shoulders. That made him shut his mouth just long enough for you to turn on the radio but not long enough to avoid the inevitable.
"Hey, hey, I got a good one: Knock knock."
You let out a long sigh, closing your eyes. "Who's there?"
"Orange."
"Orange, who?"
"Orange you glad I'm not a serial killer?"
"That wasn’t even good."
"I know. It would've been better if I could've pulled the knife out of my belt. You know, just for show." He twiddled his fingers at you.
"That wouldn’t have helped," you said.
"Nope," he agreed. "But it would've made a great story."
"I suppose."
"Yeah. Hey, hey, I got another one: Knock knock."
"You just—"
"Knock knock."
You let out a huff. This man was the most childish, annoying, idiotic, strange, weird—
"Knock knock."
"Oh, just fucking tell me the joke!"
"No! It doesn't work that way!"
You rolled your eyes, but before you could answer, he beat you to it.
"Okay, okay, how about this: Knock knock."
You didn't say anything.
"Knock knock."
Your eyes flickered over to him for a second.
"Knock knock."
"For fucks sake!" You exclaimed. "Who's there?"
He leaned forward, closer to you, and you could see his mouth moving.
"Deadpool."
You were confused.
"D-Deadpool? Is this a reference to that shitty horror movie? If so, that wasn't even good, and I'm not laughing, and I don't get the joke."
He just gave you a blank look, or at least you thought he did.
"No. My name's Deadpool."
"That’s…" you trailed off. "A pretty dumb name. Like that outfit you're wearing."
"Hey! Diss the name all you want, but don’t you dare diss the suit. It's my trademark. Not everyone can pull off this type of look; it’s a very rare art."
"Whatever. You still haven't told me the punch line to your dumb joke."
"Punch line? I never said there was a punch line. It was a knock knock joke."
"So then… What was the point? To annoy the driver into wanting to run you over again?"
He chuckled, a low, deep sound that vibrated in his throat. That… That was… oh.
He was still close, and now, with the new angle, you could see the small, yet very visible, curve of his lips, and that made you wonder who was actually hiding behind the mask.
"You are seriously the strangest person I've ever met."
"Oh, babe, you don't even know the half of it."
"Please, enlighten me," you replied sarcastically, glancing over at him.
His masked eyes looked into yours, and you knew he was grinning; you could practically feel it.
"What do you wanna know?" He asked.
"Uh, I don't know. Something other than the fact that you're a nutcase. How about your real name? It's obviously not 'Deadpool,' and I doubt anyone actually calls you that. So, what's your actual name?"
"Oh, wow. Right off the bat, huh? You know, the last girl I was with wasn’t nearly as direct. Then again, she never sprayed me like I was a roach in her kitchen."
You didn’t respond. You kept your eyes on the road.
"Fine," he relented. "But don’t expect a happy ending. This isn’t Kanas anymore, Toto."
He leaned back in his seat, his arm hanging off the open window, the wind blowing through his red suit.
"Names Wade, like the boxers, but without the fancy pants."
You raised an eyebrow.
"Wade Winston Wilson, I love long walks on the beach, and a good movie, and tacos, and chimichangas, and guns. Especially guns. Kinky, but not too kinky… and did I mention the tacos? Cause I love fucking love tacos."
Maybe you should start carrying tape around.
"What about you, sugar lips?" He asked, gesturing to you with the hand he wasn’t leaning against. "Got a name, or can I call you mine? Ooh, I should’ve used that before the pepper spray. 'What's your name, or can I call you mine?' Classic, Wade. Well, except for the fact that I forgot the 'I'd like to hit it from the back' part. Damn, should have used that, too. It's a good thing they gave you the lead. Otherwise, the audience would've been confused. They would've been wondering, 'Why did the writer suddenly change the dialogue to be about sex? Wasn’t this supposed to be that pure Notebook love story we all wanted?'"
He paused for a moment.
"Wait a minute. Are we still doing the monologue thing, or is the writer done? Cause, no offense, but that was a shitty transition. And, come on, no one wants a Notebook love story anymore. Who writes those? What we need is a little romance and a whole lotta smut."
"What the hell are you talking about?"
"Me? Nothing, just giving some feedback. I've always had an open relationship with writers. Some might even call me the next J.K Rowling. Except, instead of a lighting scar and magic, I have an ass load of weapons with an insatiable lust for violence and blood. And tacos."
You decided to ignore him.
"Anyway, back to you. You never answered my question. Do you have a name or not?"
"I can’t believe I actually agreed to give you a ride home."
"Yeah," he said, sounding bored. "Why did you do that?"
"I don’t know. Because I hit you with my car and felt bad? You had a broken arm and were bleeding out all over the ground."
"First sign of insanity."
"What?"
"Nothing," his mask wiggled around the area of his eyebrows. "So, your name? Don’t tell me you’re gonna pull out the classic yes and no abbreviations. You know what? I’m just gonna call you Spidey. It's easier, and it’ll sound sexier when you're screaming it later."
You rolled your eyes, deciding just to ignore his comments for the rest of the drive. You were wishing that you didn't live in a city full of traffic cause, damn, this was taking a while.
"Alright, turn here."
You followed the directions and pulled up in front of an abandoned-looking building. You didn't say anything, but you did raise an eyebrow in question.
"What? A guy like me has to keep his place secret, especially when the fangirls are after him."
"I didn’t ask."
"Yeah, but I saw you wondering."
"Right."
"Hey, Spidey," he said, unbuckling his seat belt. "Thanks for the ride."
"No problem. Just make sure to keep your ass away from car bumpers. And out of my car."
"Awe, come on, baby cakes, don't be like that. You're really missing out. My ass is the finest in the business. Not to mention my package. You should see the reviews I get online."
You snorted. "I'll take your word for it."
"Yeah, you will," he said, leaning over and patting your cheek. "Hey, if you ever get lonely, or bored, or horny, or whatever, just give me a call. Here," he handed you a crumpled piece of paper. "Don't lose it, that's my number. We should totally bang, like, tomorrow, or tonight, or right now."
"Goodbye, Wade," you said, and he took it as his cue to leave. He gave a silly salute and exited the car, but not without giving you a wink first.
"See you soon, Spidey!"
With that, he walked up to the building and disappeared inside. With a sigh, you collapsed into the seat, not even bothering to watch him. You were exhausted, and all you wanted was to go home and sleep.
After a couple of minutes of relishing the nice breeze that came through the open windows, you sat up and un-crinkled the paper.
The only thing written on it was a phone number, with a small, messy, red heart and a few words that honestly had you questioning the sanity of the world:
'If you're lucky, maybe I'll even let you top. ;)'
——
Spoiler alert: it took about a month for the two of you to hook up.
And no, you did not have Domino’s luck.
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utahimeow · 7 months
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“kenma?”
“hmm?”
he doesn’t take his eyes off the tv screen where he shoots at enemies left and right, but his ears are all yours.
“who was your first kiss?”
it’s become a habit of yours to watch his fingers move on the controller, long and thin and dexterous, wondering how he manages to move them in such a swift manner that to you seems impossible.
“didn’t have one,” he says, blunt.
“ever?”
“ever.”
“how?” you ask, both surprised and not—though now that you think about it, through all the years you’ve known him, he probably would have told you if he had.
“all i did in middle and high school was play volleyball and game. didn’t have time to kiss anyone. also didn’t care about it,” he admits.
you suppose if he wasn’t with you or kuroo, he was at home, playing video games. but there was that little obsession of his with shoyo hinata… so you guess it wasn’t a crush after all.
there’s only an ounce of hesitation behind what you say next, because yes, kenma’s your best friend and this could change the trajectory of your entire relationship with him, but also it’s kenma. kenma who you’ve shared a bed and clothes with, kenma who’s seen you at rock bottom and who’s wiped your snot and tears away when you were at your lowest, kenma who you’re attached at the hip with.
“what if i was your first kiss?”
kenma doesn’t falter at your words, not even for a second as he plays on expertly, nonchalant as always.
“uhh, why?” he asks, and you’re triumphant. if it was a ‘ew, no, what the fuck?’ then that’s how you’d know you fucked up. but it’s not.
“it kinda makes sense for me to be your first. also, i just wanna know what it’s like to kiss you,” you admit, shrugging your shoulders.
the next few moments are full of nothing but controller sounds and the music from the video game on the tv. in the faint glow that radiates from the screen, you make out a tiny dusting of pink on kenma’s pale cheeks.
eventually he gulps. then, “can we drink first?”
your mouth falls open with an insulted gasp and you have half a mind to smack him over the head.
“if you think i’m ugly you can say that, kozume,” you pout, crossing your arms.
“it’s not because i think you’re ugly, dumbass.”
“then why do you need to be drunk to kiss me?!”
kenma is silent again. he doesn’t have to look at you to know you’re staring at him utterly indignantly.
“because i’m too scared to look you in the eyes right now.”
oh.
now you get it.
kenma kozume is such a virgin. and you want him so incredibly badly. in fact you have to restrain yourself from jumping into his lap and kissing him until he can’t think straight.
instead you slide off the couch and head towards his fridge, grab two bottles of asahi and the bottle opener from the utensil drawer before padding back over to the couch, sitting an inch or two closer to kenma than you were before.
you click one bottle open for him, then one for yourself, then without a hint of hesitation you take a confident swig until you’re near chugging the drink.
“chill,” kenma says, side-eyeing you after taking a swig from his own bottle. “don’t want you pulling a himeno on me.”
you let out a noise that’s half-scoff and half-laugh, smacking at his arm. “don’t joke about that. that scene was traumatic.”
two bottles of beer later, kenma’s in-game reflexes start to waver. he’s no longer as sharp as usual, though his tipsy state still trumps the skills of an average player. meanwhile, your head floats with the buzz of alcohol—well, it hovers.
“kenmaaa,” you whine, shaking his arm, when all of a sudden his character is shot to death and the screen pauses as if to deliberately rub his defeat in his face. you stifle a giggle while he runs his hands over his face, though you’re pretty sure it’s not because he lost.
“what?” he asks, but he fails at conveying any real irritation towards you. his voice is small, frail almost.
“i wanna kiss you,” you say. your fingers still cling to the fabric of his hoodie sleeve. kenma’s entire body burns from it. he’s so fucked.
“okay, fine,” he says, turning his body to finally face you and criss-crossing his legs on the couch. “this feels awkward though, how are we-”
and you’ve waited long enough for this, and the alcohol that buzzes through your system makes you throw all your morals out the window, and you’re grabbing him by fistfuls of his hoodie and dragging him towards you until your lips smash—literally—together, and finally he shuts up.
you’re not sure what overcomes you, but you’re kissing him like you’re hungry, not quite ravaging him, but years of yearning deep inside of you bubbles to the surface and fills you with desperation.
also, you’re tipsy.
it’s not long before you come back to your senses a little and remind yourself that this is just his first kiss. go easy on him, maybe?
you move away, slowly, as though trying not to startle him, to find a pair of golden feline eyes blinking back at you. they’re swimming with something unintelligible, something akin to… need? you think you must be seeing things. you’re tipsy, after all.
the silence that hangs over the pair of you is heavy—too heavy. it hurts your shoulders. you laugh so that it goes away, covering your face as though kenma’s timidness was contagious and has now spread to you.
eventually, when you peer back up at him, he’s grinning almost… triumphantly. despite the blush that covers his entire face, he looks victorious. his face replaces any words he could say, and he turns back to his game without a word.
you, however, struggle to keep your thoughts to yourself.
“can we do that more often?” you ask, leaning your frame against his, nuzzling your face into his warmth.
“yeah, we can.”
3K notes · View notes
uravichii · 2 years
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pov: you're drop-dead gorgeous (and they don't know how to deal with it)
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character/s: bakugo katsuki, shinsou hitoshi, kaminari denki, todoroki shouto
genre: fluff, crack (?), them hyping u up like there's no tomorrow, uhh reader wears makeup 🤕
notes: this is for all u pretty mfs aka all of u whether u believe it or not YOU ARE PRETTY AMD HOT AND AMAZING 😡‼️ also disclaimer: the boys love u not just for your face. they think you're so cool for being beautiful inside n out and this is just them appreciating the out 🧎‍♀️
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bakugo katsuki thinks you're so pretty that his only response to it is to be angry. he'd watch intently the way you'd smooth your clothes down and cutely fiddle with your hair in the mirror as if there's even anything to fix. he'll cup your pretty face in his hands and squeeze your cheeks together (cuteness aggression probably), "tell me why you're so fucking pretty all the time? what are you so pretty for, huh?!"
bakugo katsuki would always watch you do your makeup and hair and then slip into the prettiest clothes only you can pull off and he's just mesmerized by the whole thing.
"katsuki, please stop drooling and get dressed. we're gonna be late."
his only response is: "fuck off."
because he can never deny nor hide the fact that he constantly admires you every chance he gets. he storms his way to you and snatches a shimmery eyeshadow from your makeup bag. "tch, you don't even need any of this shit."
"you don't like it, katsuki?" you stare up at him doe-eyed, easily making his heart skip a beat.
"h-hah?! i didn't say that!" he shoves it to your hand, "now do this glittery shit next!"
and you just ditch whatever plans you'd made and spend the rest of the night trying on different makeup looks. he'll insist that you sit on his lap while you doll yourself up just because, and you gladly do so but then you both end up wearing a full face of glam makeup 🧍‍♀️ he doesn't know how he just let it happen but he's like, "whatever makes you fucking happy, y/n."
he then proceeds to tell you that, "every one of those ugly extras should grovel at your feet, worship the ground you walk on, and then beg for your forgiveness."
"forgive them for what?"
he stares blankly at you. "for breathing the same air as you."
bakugo katsuki's not active on social media at all but on his instagram, his first and only post is a photo dump of just youー the selfies you took on his phone, your date outfits, candid photos (by courtesy of bakugo katsuki) of you smiling at a stray cat, the power nap you took on his shoulder, and his favorite one by far: a photo of you wearing his black tank top that completely swallows you up, holding up two little peace signs on your cheeks.
and of course, he captions it, "u and ur ugly ass wish u were y/n."
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shinsou hitoshi is convinced he's dating a model. he doesn't know how it happened, but he is a little proud of whatever the hell was in him that managed to rizz you up.
he thinks you look amazing in absolutely anything. so when you go clothes shopping together, he casually picks up all types of clothes from the racks until there's a whole pile of them in his arms.
when you shoot him a questioning look about it, he only says, "think you'll look amazing in these, babe."
he also picks up some accessories and just wears them on youー hats, sunglasses, hair pins, and you just let him because each time you let him accessorize you, he gives those little comments like, "amazing." "cute" "this one's tacky; i put it on you as a joke but you pull it off for some reason." "yes. slayed." he made you wear cat ears one time and he just melts right there, immediately taking a photo of you for his new lockscreen.
it bothers shinsou hitoshi a lot when people stare at you even when they can clearly see his hand on the small of your back. he'll slide closer to you and kiss the top of your head all the while he gives them a death stare he wishes he could do more.
he squeezes your waist a little to call your attention.
"hm? what's up, hitoshi?"
he looks at you blankly, taking in your features in awe as if for the first time again. then he stuffs your face into his chest, your legs staggering as you grab a hold of his forearms.
"hey, what are you doing?" you giggle in his chest. he's relieved you can't see his flushed cheeks. "hitoshiii"
"you're too good for this world, y/n. i need to start gatekeeping you."
what blows shinsou hitoshi's mind the most is how you're probably unaware of your effect on him, no matter how many times he's called you all synonyms of the word, 'beautiful'
he's sat on the couch, a tiny smile of adoration tugging on his lips when he sees you running up to him. your eyes brim with excitement as you call his name, truly the prettiest ones he's ever seen.
"something happened?ー" he pauses when you lean your face so close to his. he sinks back into the couch as the tips of ears start to turn red.
it takes a moment until he realizes that you're showing off the purple eyeshadow you had done on yourself, batting your eyelashes at him as you wait for his response bc right now he's just staring at you like 😦💘‼️‼️‼️
"it's the one you picked out from the mall yesterday. is it pretty?"
"y/n." his hands slowly find their way to your waist, "i don't believe you're real sometimes. you are possibly the most beautiful person i've ever seen."
"really?"
"god," he pulls you by the waist until you're sat on his lap, your legs straddling him. "you have no idea."
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remember how bakugo said all those extras should be groveling at your feet and worshipping you? yeah, it's kaminari denki. he worships you.
he thinks you're beautiful and he's LOUD about it.
he's constantly bragging about you to his friends and showing off your photos (if you're comfy w/ that), "oh this? oh yeah, this is is y/n, the coolest, funniest, drop dead gorgeous, most ethereal person on earth and they're dating ME."
and bakugo would just grab his phone and knock it against his head with a thud 🤕, "WE FUCKING GET IT. NOW, SHUT UP, DUMBASS."
he'll rub his head while cackling, "whatever, i'm dating Y/N. who cares about anything if you're dating y/n?"
kaminari denki doesn't love you just for your beauty though. you're not just some eye candy to him. if someone ever called you one though, you bet he's zapping their ass and with the whole bakusquad by his side because somehow they feel obligated to protect you now too. 🧍‍♀️ (denki's effect)
and just as much as he compliments your beauty everyday, he never forgets to let you know how beautiful your heart is too. in fact, he calls you 'angel' because how could someone be this beautiful and be so kind and caring to him at the same time?
"sometimes.." he looks up pensively from his lap where you lay your head, "i feel like i've been blessed by the heavens when i got to date you.
"denkiー"
"don't even think i'm exaggerating, y/n!" he pokes your cheek when you turn your head to look at him, "you're amazing. i don't know what i did for you to give me a chance."
there are times though when a part of kaminari denki feels a little insecure because he thinks he looks quite stupid next to you, and it doesn't help either that the bakusquad never lets him hear the end of it 😔
"denki, you don't look stupid because you're next to me. you do that on your own."
"aww, thank yー hol' up." 🤨
he's pouting but you immediately wipe that off by apologizing and peppering his face with kisses, ending it with a loud smooch on his lips with a "mmmwah!"
kaminari denki now can't remember what you're even apologizing for in the first place.
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you and todoroki shouto are so beautiful, the visuals are blinding 😩 you'd walk to your classroom together, him opening the door for you and you smiling at him, lovingly squeezing his arm as a silent 'thank you,' and people just stare with their mouths agape, not knowing who exactly to be jealous of.
shouto definitely stares the most though until it concerns midoriya, "t-todoroki-kun, you haven't moved in three minutes. are you okay?" because he might as well have drawn hearts on his eyes and stab an arrow to his heart with the way he looks at you.
todoroki shouto always kisses your eyes, nose, cheeks, hair, and your lips, of course, just to let you know how beautiful he thinks they are.
he thinks whatever you do or wear is so pretty, hence, the many, many photos of you on his phone. his lockscreen changes every 2 days because everyday he just gets a prettier shot of you, and he always shows them to you and to his friends and siblings ☹️ because everyone, including you, should appreciate what a beauty you are!
"this looks great! you'd make a great photographer, shouto" you lean in to kiss his cheek, immediately sending a flush across his face.
"well..." he looks to the ground, the feeling of your lips still lingering on his right cheek. "that's all you... you're beautiful. i don't know how it has anything to do with me, but thank you."
and then he leans closer, tilting his head to the side to silently ask for another kiss. you laugh softly at this, and when you cup his cheeks in your hands and start planting kisses all over his face the way he does to you, shouto confirms it in his mindー y/n is an angel.
todoroki shouto would get a little overboard with the photos though because he'll spam that button and keep every single one. when you ask why keep the blurry ones, he explains, "that's still a photo of you. why would i delete it?"
he also has a photo of his point of view from when he had his head on your lap. he said he wanted to capture "the happiest moment of his life." you convince yourself it's sweet but it's literally just a photo of your chin in a weird angle.
"shouto, that's just my chin."
he looks at you dead in the eye. "y/n, you have a lovely chin."
you call him a weirdo, which surprises him a little, but then you drape your arms around his neck and pepper kisses all over his face again because who else in the world would say that to you?
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rad-batson · 1 year
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AU where after 12yo Billy’s identity gets revealed to the JL, Bruce Wayne gives his number to Billy for emergencies or any other situation where he might need an adult (like a get-out-of-jail free card, covering rent, signing a permission slip, advice, anything.) No strings attached. He won’t act controlling. Just in case, you know?
And for a while it’s never used because Billy would rather take his own eye out than ask an adult for help. Until Billy realizes there are a lot more benefits to this than he thought. Now whenever Uncle Dudley is at work and Constantine is too busy running from the magical authorities or (more importantly) he doesn’t want either to know what he’s doing, Bruce is the adult he calls.
-
Cap, over comms: Hey Bruce, I need advice.
Bruce, already in the zeta tube: Which villain is it?
Cap: You have style, right? What should I wear to the school dance? Because Dudley said a ruffled tuxedo shirt is “a classic” but it sounds ugly and-
Bruce:
Bruce: Oh, it’s that kind of advice.
-
Bruce: *posing as Billy’s guardian for class registration day*
PTA Mom: Hello sir, is this your son?
Bruce: *looks at Billy*
Billy: *nodding his head*
Bruce: Yes
-
Billy: Hey Bruce, can you buy something for me?
Bruce: What is it?
Billy: *slowly hands Bruce a copy of The Conjuring*
Bruce:
Bruce: Billy, I don’t think you should—
Billy: You promised :(
Bruce: *whispering* fuck
-
Cap, over comms: Uhh, Bruce? Do you know Sanskrit?
Bruce: Yeah, why? Is it for a school assignment?
Cap: …Don’t tell Constantine.
Bruce:
Cap: I got kidnapped by an ancient cult, and I need you to help me escape.
Bruce: *crushes the mug of coffee he’s holding*
Bruce: Oh?
5K notes · View notes
salfishermustdie · 6 months
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sal fisher headcanons
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i've literally never been so horrendously down bad for a character before.. so i HAD to share my head canons for sal :3
CW: NSFW AHEAD!!
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fluff <3
♡ he would try to teach you guitar, even if you arent very good at it...
♡ if you have sh scars, he'd kiss them over and over and over again, no matter where they are
♡ blushes over everything you do, any little touch you give him, he gets flustered over
♡ "ummmmm... uhh- i- well.. umm"
♡ he loves giving you things. for whatever reason, he's always gifting you small trinkets to show his love for you. his favorite excuse for buying you something is "it reminded me of you!"
♡ not the kinda guy who goes for looks. no matter how 'ugly' you think you are, he'll wholeheartedly see you as the most beautiful person in the world.
♡ with that being said.. he'd definitely stop in his tracks if he saw a cutie :3
♡ (IT'S YOU, YOU'RE THE CUTIE. EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU IS HIS TYPE. GOD, HOW ARE YOU SO PERFECT FOR HIM??)
♡ if you ever mention something in a conversation (a band you like, a cool movie you just watched or a book you read, etc.) he's definitely going home and learning all he can about it.
♡ wholesome romance like those in the romcom movies
♡ "i love everybody because i love you" /ref /ly
♡ would totally let you paint his nails, do his hair, anything like that. he loves when you make him feel pretty <3
♡ doesn't want anyone to know this, but he loves wearing your clothes. like, you know the whole "wearing you bf's jacket/hoodie" thing? that's what he wants, but with your clothes.
♡ obviously he won't deny you his hoodie, but deep down he's waiting for you to give him yours
♡ LOVES giving long, deep, passionate hugs. hugs and cuddle sessions that can go on for an hour. he loves squeezing you against him, it makes him feel warm and fuzzy inside; being so close to someone he loves so much
♡ he WILL sniff you. he can't get enough of your scent. at first he was scared you would think it was weird, but now he does it freely. he's a very sensual person, and because of his disability (possibly impaired sight?), he often relies on his other senses to soak up every little piece of you.
♡ he loves wrapping you in his arms, cradling and comforting you if he knows you need it.
♡ he's excellent at reading you. he feels like he knows you best. despite being someone who can't really show his emotions through his expressions, he's amazing at reading yours.
♡ you don't even have to tell him anythings wrong. he knows when you need a hug.
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nsfw :3
♡ definitely has a mommy kink. argue with the wall.
♡ it just slipped out one day.. you were riding him, making him feel good and warm, and all of a sudden he let out a small "m-mommy..!"
♡ that being said, he LOVES having you on top of him
♡ while you're straddling him, he grabs you by your hips to make sure you're not going anywhere
♡ very shy + whimpering mess
♡ the kind to not know where to put his hands
♡ that doesn't mean he sometimes doesn't have a dom side to him...
♡ he's definitely a giver. he prioritizes your pleasure before his own
♡ he's insecure about his ability to turn you on, make you cum, etc. he always tries his hardest to make you feel good, and lets just say it always works :3
♡ jerks off to the thought of you more than he would like to admit
♡ has a VERY vivid imagination.
♡ oh god the things he thinks about doing to you are almost to embarrassing for him to admit
♡ very sweet and loving the whole time. he's huge on praise, and would rather die than ever make you uncomfortable. your sessions are filled with millions of
"are you liking that?" "you're doing so good for me." "are you okay with this?" "you feel amazing (y/n)"
♡ he needs 100% confirmation on your dirty suggestions. you could make a hint, but won't act on it until he's absolutely sure you mean it (obviously you always do, but god is this boy insecure.)
♡ doesn't seem like it, but will fuck you like a rabbit. it's always the quiet, sweet boys who are the dirtiest behind closed doors :3
♡ likes being bitten. idk. idc. IDGAF.
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bechdelexam · 2 years
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Even respected leaders such as William Griesbach, commander of the 49th Battalion and then of the 1st Infantry Brigade, were ostracized. In one fiery postwar meeting, he was “shouted off the stage and his remarks [in defence of the government not being able to pay $2,000 to each veteran] were so bitterly resented that Edmonton’s most distinguished soldier was voted OUT” of the 49th Battalion’s regimental association
that being said i will admit that this was based as hell
0 notes
cindyss · 6 months
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• — MY SHORTS DONT HAVE LACES — •
PAIRING(S): theodore nott x fem. reader !!
WARNING(S): smut
SUMMARY: Hermoine is aware of y/n’s feelings toward theo, therefore when she gets the chance, hermoine makes it her job to get them close to eachother
A/N: i hope you enjoy this and check my most recent post with tom riddle please show it some support 😭🙏 (this is edited)
——————————————————
You and Hermione were in your shared dorm, getting ready together for the pool party thrown.
You put your matching black swimsuits on and put your hair up so that it doesnt get wet from the water.
“Hermoineeeee” you sigh. “Is- is uhh is, is theo gonna be there?” You ask hesitantly.
Hermoine had always been aware of your feelings toward theo and she made no effort to stop teasing you about it.
“Ugh, y/n, yes he is” she spoke as she rolled her eyes.
“Do i look good, should i tie my hair or keep it in a claw-clip like this? Omg idk what to do i feel so ugly. Should i change this swimsuit?” you complain
“Y/l/n, one more word i swear. You look gorgeous, ur perfect. How many times do i need to tell you that?” She said.
You jump into her arms before she could finish, “god hermoine i love you” you say.
“Yeah i know bla bla bla bla, now we have a party to get to and boys to impress” she winked before dragging you out of the room.
You get to the party and ur eyes immediately begin scanning the room, in search of theo. In no time you spot him, sat in the hot tub with cormac, harry, ron, ginny, and luna.
Hermoine notices your intentions and grabs your hand leading you to the hot tub, “hermoine, no, im not ready yet!!” you sigh.
“too bad” she says before jumping in the hot tub. “shoot, y/n, there’s no more place for you, but im sure theo would be more than pleasured to keep you on his lap” she giggled.
You and theo didn’t hate eachother, you weren’t friends either. However, there was always tension between the two of you, even Neville could catch it.
He patted on his lap, gesturing for you to come over “c’mere” he said. You drag ur feet in the water and adjust ur sitting on his lap.
Looks and smiles exchange between everyone in the tub and you begin to feel the tension form. Cormac, next to you, starts talking about his previous experience with the ladies and other stuff.
And while ur listening, trying to act interested in whatever he’s talking about, you feel something poke from under you.
You also feel theo’s hands wrap around ur waist from under water which makes you let out a loud gasp, loud enough for the people in the hot tub to hear at least.
Everyones heads turn around to you, “sorry guys, thought i saw a bug” you laugh it off and all ur friends go back to their conversations.
The poking from under you only got more annoying, so you turn ur head, “theo, the laces of ur swimsuit are poking me, can u do something about it?” You speak.
“Cara mia, my shorts don’t have laces” he whispers to you, you could feel his breath on ur ear. “Fuck theo” you say.
He looks at you and then says something again “i say we get out of here darling before i can’t control myself anymore”.
You immediately jump up, and theo follows you. “If you’ll excuse us, we have some business to manage” he jokes pointing at the both of you.
“Get out of here man” Ron laughs.
“God please no” this, from Luna.
“Off you go” hermoine says smiling.
Theo then grabs your hand, two towels, and starts leading you back to his dorm. On ur way there, he wraps one of the towels around you, making sure you’re not cold.
When you get there, the Slytherin boy wastes no time locking the door and smashing his lips onto yours, immediately also allowing his tongue to slip in.
The kiss was not sweet, it was slow yet passionate and hungry. The boy was practically eating your face off while he has you pinned on the wall.
In a sudden movement, theo slips his hands under your thighs and carries you up into his arms. He carries you to his bed, the kiss ongoing, and makes you lay there.
He wastes no time unclasping your bikini and sucking on your tits. Your fingers meet his hair and you start tugging at it as he sucks on your nipples.
He leaves kisses on your boobs and cups them while he moves back up to your lips, also removing your underwear. They meet again and this time the kiss is faster, deeper, and hungrier.
“I- i.. fuck” he says in between kisses.
“Mhm?” you wonder.
“My friend down there, fucking hell, he needs attention.” the boy explains.
You laugh and start working your way, trying to remove his shorts. He turns over making sure to provide you with enough space to take control.
You make your way down, leaving kisses down his ab lines. You slowly lower his shorts and begin trailing his v line with your fingers.
You then remove his shorts completely and for a second, you are taken back by his large size.
His wet, throbbing cock was now inches away from your face. You begin by licking his tip, slowly and carefully before taking him in all in one go.
To that, he gasps, his hands then move to your head guiding you, he grabs onto your hair and leads you.
He even makes you gag a few times when he hits your throat, which you pinch his thigh for that.
You speed up your movements as you wanted to be the one to make him cum first, and you wanted to be the one that makes it happen faster.
“Cara mia” he spoke. “Im gonna.. soon. Im gonna.. fuck”.
You mumble a quick mhm as you speed your movements.
“Fuck you’re so good at this”. he praised
You smiled to yourself before he finally came on your mouth, he squeezed your hair as he released.
You move back up to him and stick your tongue out to show him you swallowed it. You then start kissing him again, slipping your tongue inside, his hands wrapping around your waist.
“You know ur actually gorgeous, youre so perfect. A goddess i swear” he said as you were sat on his lap, staring deep into his eyes.
“Tell me something in italian” you ask.
“Hmm? Something like what ehh?” he smirks.
“Anything” you smile.
“Well.. ti scoperò finché non potrai più camminare.” he said in a whisper.
“And that means?” you wonder.
“I’ll fuck you till you cant walk” he spills.
“Oh is that so?” you giggle.
he nods and then you give him the look of affirmation before he slams into you, which makes you let out a gasp before adjusting yourself to his size.
You then start working ur hips in sync with his, riding him while his hands roam ur body, touching every bit of skin he could get his hands on.
“Fff.. fuckkk, you look too good like this” he praised. “dannatamente perfetto”. (fucking perfect)
you smile and in a sudden movement, he flips you over so hes in control, he starts speeding and you grab onto the sheets for dear life.
He leans in and kisses you, you moan into his mouth and his swollen tip hits your spot, the one that sends you to the moon and back.
“FUCKING HELL!!” you scream, “THEODORE IM GONNA CUM”. He speeds up his movements and guides you as you release.
“è stato fantastico, bellissimo” (that felt amazing, beautiful) he spoke slumping on the bed next to you.
“You really gotta start teaching me italian so i can understand what ur saying” you chuckle.
“Oh yeah? What if i dont want you to understand what im saying” he teased.
“Uhh oh, we might have a problem then” you both laugh as he hugs u tightly, kissing ur temple.
1K notes · View notes
donutz · 2 months
Note
sebastian with a reader who gives him a ton of resources and asks if they can buy a kiss from him O-O
Buying a kiss from Sebastian
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You aren't that delusional right?
— A big ol smooch. Mwah. Delicious fishy skin oh so yummy.
Warning: Shy reader, but not the stereotypical 'Y/N'; Stutters, I'm sorry I'll try to make it realistic; THIS IS NOT A BIG DADDY AND SHY Y/N TROPE.; Sorry I just wanted to warn you; I don't use Y/N anyways, I use Reader as if there's a difference😎; There's no kiss on the lips☹️; Buttt there's a teasing Sebastian; 'Bad' words; Non-human reader, they just have the ear fins; They have green-like skin with four yellow eyes! Two fakes ones underneath their original ones; They also can disguise as a human
After dying over and over again, you became acquainted with Sebastian. You saw him in the shop and even saw him when you were dead. You’re not sure on how the dying thing works but…
It doesn’t really matter as long as you get to see Sebastian.
You’ve gained feelings for him, even though he isn’t very.. Human. His little insults can be annoying but I guess it’s um. Reasonable? Yeah that’s something you don’t enjoy all that much.
But his voice and his tone is something that you like. You may have a strange taste but who doesn’t like a 10 ft tall man that has aquatic features?
… Probably every other normal person…
But some mermen can be attractive! You feel like a little kid crushing on cartoons.
Sebastian seems very closed off and distant from humans. Maybe because humans are the reason he’s this way?
That’s understandable.
I don’t think I would like humans at all if I looked like that either. It’s not like he’s ugly it’s just… It seems like he was human before being that way.
Anyways
Maybe since he doesn’t seem okay with other forms of affection— You could get him a gift! It’s unexpected, can be taken as platonic, and a way to get closer to somebody! Perfect!
Though what should you get him?
Hmm…
You don’t know any of his likes, favorites, nothing really.
Oh!
But he has a shop!
You could uhh. Give him some items for his shop!
And then…
Ask for a kiss!
… Is that too forward? Well he might like you back!
He might… Like you back..
He doesn’t really give many hints on his feelings towards love. Especially towards you, minus the lessened amounts of insults he throws at you.
Oh that could be a hint! He stutters sometimes too! But he did that before he truly knew you… 
Ugh, too many ellipses.
Oh sorry I didn’t mean to break the 4th wall.
Agh hem.
As the loop starts again, you decided that the gift could be items. Items to give so he can hold it for his shop. Then a smooch!
A smooch?
Yeah a kiss. Totally. He’ll definitely give you a kiss with those… Rubber… Lips…
Okay maybe a kiss on the hand can suffice.
Exiting the submarine you prepare to give Sebastian a ton of items in return for a kiss!
Are you really that delusional?
.
.
.
Yes!
You end up finding flash beacons, flashlights, medkits— Actually maybe you should keep that one.
Y’know, just incase a good pers—
… Mmm…
People?
Just in case good people pops up.
Hate that thing.
Oh wow a lantern.
When it comes to the monsters and just being in this place in general, it’s like your whole personality switches. 
When it comes to Sebastian you’ll be all shy. But when it comes to just Urbanshade, its creatures, and Hadal Blacksite… You’re more mad and irritated.
Sometimes you even say bad words at the creatures.
Oooo.
Saying bad words even though you’re a grown adult.
How, “NO YOU CAN’T SAY THAT”!!
Y’know? 
When people infantilize shy characters?
Y’know?
☹️
You get pretty close to door fifty, having many helpful sources to give to that— man…
You hear an expected voice..(Oh how spooky)
“Hey. Come here”.
You look at an invisible camera pulling off that— Roblox man face or something- I don’t– I don’t know.
Speed walking over there in excitement, you hold a smile on your face. Your beautiful smile lines showing.
Damn, you really like him huh?
You crawl through the vents waiting with anticipation. Possible praise? Or even a smile?
You can’t wait.
Reaching the end of the vent, you immediately look up, bumping your head. It’s a good thing you have that head gear. You might’ve gotten a traumatic brain injury and five dollars.
… What.
A- Anways, you rub your head looking down.
“Oh damn. Well based on that head bump I already know who it is. Hello my favorite prisoner”.
“Hey Sebastian, yeah you’re so funny. Making fun of my h- head bump. Die”.
“Hey buddy I was justt messing arounddd”.
“M-hm- Mhm.” You let out pained noises. Getting out from the vent, you stretch out your limbs. Hearing a few pops
“Eww… Yuck, I hate those sounds.” Sebastian commented.
“Yeah they’re kinda weird about humans”.
“They suree areee”…
After a few seconds of silence, Sebastian speaks up.
“Soo, you gonna buy anything”?
“W- Well maybe, I– shiver, I actually have some gi- gifts for you.” Clearing your throat you physically cringe at the stuttering. It makes you seem.. I don’t know.. Fanfic material or something.
“Gifts”?
“Yea! Gifts.. T- To show you my um… G- Gratitude for- sigh, for giving me those items”.
He chuckled, “It’s not like I give you them for free or anything”.
“Yeah but sometimes you give me discounts”.
“Oh yeah huh”?
“So I— I wanted to give these to you, S- Sebastian”..
“You’re very stuttery today aren’t you”?
You look up at him while getting the things out of your bag.
You let out a shivery laugh, “Y- Yeah, I’ve never really um.. Given someone gifts before a- and it’s.. Spooky– down here”.
Sebastian could tell that was an excuse.
I know that was an excuse, it’s obvious you’re this way because of your little crush or something.
You hand Sebastian the items, his two claws engulfing yours. You wish these stupidly thick gloves were off your hands so you could actually feel his claws.
“And shaky”.
“Oh! Um”..
“You sure you’re okay?” He asks with concern. Putting away the items, he’s not sure why he even asked.
“Yeah I’m okay! It’s just um. Th- Those aren’t f- free.” Even with the small amount of built confidence, you were still very nervous.
“Oh of course they’re not. What is it? Do I have to give you some data or something? If you’re asking for cash then–”
“N- No”!
He’s surprised by the sudden and yippy-like voice.
“I uh, I don’t want data or cash”.
“... So, what do you want”?
“A. A uhm. Uh”.
“C’mon spit it out already”!
“A kiss!! Yeah a small kiss or something”..
.
.
.
Oh yes I love awkward moments, what about you?
“A kiss?” Sebastian repeats.
You nod, not even being able to speak right now. You’re looking at the ground with hands together and thumbs rubbing against the hard leather. If you weren’t sweating you definitely would be now.
“Y’know it would’ve made more sense if you said that before giving me the items”?
“Sebastian I’m serious”!
“Okay okay, yes you can have your kiss”.
You look up quickly, a quiet crack in your neck from turning it so fast.
You may think that you’re blushy and flustered one right now. Well that’s correct, if you can even blush.
Buttt you’re not the only one with a rapidly beating heart.
Sebastian’s trying to hide it, to not seem all vulnerable in front of somebody. Not just a human. Showing that you’re vulnerable is a sign of, I guess.. Weakness.
“But how can you even kiss me with that diving helmet”?
Oh yeah you forgot about that.
“O- Oh, yeah uhm- let me take care of that”.
That sentence peaks his interest, if you were to take that off then he’s sure your head would pop.
“W- Wait I was just joking—!” He reaches out to you to stop you, putting his right claw over your head gear.
Even though you’d be just fine with the pressure, you were shocked he even stopped you.
“Oh uhm. Sebastian. I’m not fully human, I can handle the pressure with or without the gear”.
Whattt??
His face scrunches with confusion and shock, stunned. 
You take off the head gear, but don’t worry, you’ve managed to disable that explosion thing. Just temporarily, they haven’t noticed yet.
You hold your gear in your hand, looking up at Sebastian.
You smile, showing off your yellowish, blueish teeth. Your ear fins sway slightly, up and down.
“Yeah I’m not really uhh, human. Fully anyways.” You set your gear on the ground—
“A- And I’ve taken care of that blowing up device. S- So don’t worry”.
God he reallyyy hopes that nobody walks in right now.
“Th- They can’t hear me either so, I’ll be fine temporarily. I’ll soon have to turn it all back on so they don’t suspect anything”.
Wow.
He thought you were kinda dumb to add onto your shy personality.
Damn.
That’s um.
Surprising.
You can feel his stare on you. It’s not very uhh, it’s not a good feeling.
You look back up at him, putting a hand over your forehead as if it were a visor.
“Do I not look good or-”
“N- No! That’s not why I’m staring. It’s just.. Surprising. I couldn’t really get any hints on how you weren’t a human”.
“Ah, well that was on purpose actually. I- I’m not sure if you really do scents but– I gave myself a more human scent and covered up the dark green skin with a more human one”.
Woww, yes you’re sooo smart.
He keeps on staring at you.
“Anyways, what about that uhm.. That kiss..?” You mentally cheer at the least amount of stutters in the much bolder question.
“O- Oh yes”!
Oo! A stutter!
“Well I doubt you would kiss me on the lips”.
“O- Oh I don’t m- mind— Ughh, I don’t mind kissing you anywhere really. Just a kiss itself is fine”!
“Oh really?” He teased.
“Y- Yes.” You whisper.
“Well, how about a kiss to the palm, yeah? Not too forward and nearly just the right amount of romance”.
“Yeah that’s fine”!!
Your somewhat wobbly legs move over to Sebastian. He slightly moves his right claw to your face, casting a shadow over your head because of how big it is.
You grab both sides of his hand and lean over to his palm, giving it a quick—
Smooch!
To the palm. Even after the kiss you still stay there for a few seconds, before backing away with your hands behind your back.
You hurriedly put your head gear back on before quickly stuttering out—
“T- Thank you f- for the k- kiss! I enjoy- gulp, enjoyed it”!
Rushing out of the shop, you let out a huge breath.
As if this was some show, the camera would pan to Sebastian’s scrunched up face, his lip(?) quivering. He’s happy that he’s cold blooded, or else he’d be blushing very, very hard right now.
He holds up that same palm, and puts it to his lips(??).
Letting out a shaky breath.
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Guys guess how much words..
1773!!! I'm so good at um. Long fanfics yeah😛😛
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