#unlearning patterns

[thecleverconfidante]

Calm Isn’t Boring, It’s Safe

Confessions of a Late Bloomer Part 11 For a long time, I thought love was supposed to feel like butterflies.That quickening. That rush. That tingle in your gut that made it hard to breathe. I thought adrenaline meant attraction.I thought chaos was chemistry.I thought that if it wasn’t all-consuming, messy, magnetic, heart-racing, it wasn’t real. No one told me that I had learned to confuse…

[cleverlyconfidential]

Calm Isn’t Boring, It’s Safe

Confessions of a Late Bloomer Part 11 For a long time, I thought love was supposed to feel like butterflies.That quickening. That rush. That tingle in your gut that made it hard to breathe. I thought adrenaline meant attraction.I thought chaos was chemistry.I thought that if it wasn’t all-consuming, messy, magnetic, heart-racing, it wasn’t real. No one told me that I had learned to confuse…

[ghostdrinkssoup]

no you don’t get it I wanted mel medarda to have a jaime lannister arc so badly I think about this every day why were we so robbed

[sandinmybed]

can i be fr for a minute?? sending abuse to people online for holding different views than you is not activism and in fact actively hurts your cause. most people are not extreme in their viewpoints, you can give them a new perspective if you're willing to spend some time explaining shit. if someone is saying something you disagree with and you rush in there to condescend to them and call them disgusting and subhuman and dont even TRY to explain calmly why their views are harmful, they're going to shut you out instantly and double down on their views.

most people are simply genuinely ignorant to the issues they're talking about - they just pick their views up from the news and the world around them and express opinions because that's what every person does. if you run in there and tell them they're scum for it, what then? if someone does that to you, are you going to think "maybe i should do some research" or are you going to think "this person is an asshole, im blocking them." a lot of you think you're activists and then refuse to do any kind of actual WORK to support your cause.

[despazito]

"going to therapy makes you a worse person because you learn the words and therapy incantations to be more evil and manipulative" ok I guess we should all just kill ourselves

[alsteneldoeight]

content warning for possible creepy stuff/eyestrain under the cut!

ruh roh raggy

[finalset]

flinching at people when I am literally not in danger is so embarrassing like can my brain resolve that one already

[immortalarizona]

girl help I do believe I'm having a depression

[dreamwinged]

every day feels like Wow i can’t keep doing this. yet somehow i KEEP DOING IT

[ri-notafan]

TLDR; Small things can be symptoms of a bigger problem, but hope isn’t lost because education is there for everyone.

“I can’t be homophobic: I have a gay [insert relative here].”

Don’t use people like that.

We know this kind of fallacy is wrong and can be seen no matter what the topic is.

Knowing someone is gay doesn’t inherently change your beliefs or actions.

Even if you are the gay person, internalised homophobia is still a thing.

There are many gay people that have had homophobic parents what have kicked them out, disowned them, and more when they were kids; parents are supposedly folks who would love you unconditionally but that’s not true. Would you say they aren’t homophobic? They’re related to a gay person same as you though.

(There’s probably more for this part, feel free to add)

“🫢 I’ve said this before! Does that make me a bad person?”

No, not necessarily? At least not on its own in my opinion.

But even if it did, you can be educated!

Self reflection and confrontation of your own personal biases is a good starting point to unlearn some of that, and honestly educating yourself about other people and applying that information to your actions moving forward is another. There are great resources out there full of strategies and research over these topics.

It’s an ongoing, continual practice that will only be good for you and the people around you in the long run.

“😬 I’ve come to realise I’ve been an a**hole. What do I do??”

Nothing wrong with a sincere apology and a plan to be better in the future (that you actually stick to).

Sometimes it’s not feasible to apologise for a number of factors (like being a general buttwipe rather than one with a specific target) and sometimes people won’t accept your apology. People don’t have to accept your apology, but that doesn’t mean it’s worthless to do so if you’re actually going to work on yourself.

Some people might not believe that you will change and that’s fine. That bridge might be burned beyond repair. It might also not be, but it’s certainly not traversable for you now. Words won’t fix it. Anyway, the point isn’t to get people to like you, the point is self improvement after introspection.

Aside from that? It goes back to the second part in unlearning behaviours and thought processes. Keep on listening, learning, and adapting yourself in this ever-diversifying world.

[pindanda]

[alsteneldoeight]

sunset's nice isn't it?

i love bello a lot guys

[postsecretsalone]

[gschamig]

Idk who needs to hear this but if you're expecting people to judge you and believe that every person judges others on superficial stuff - it's because you were taught to do so yourself and surround yourself with people who do exactly that.

[orange-coloredsky-archive]

some autistic ppl on the innanet have never been made to feel guilty about talking about their Things and that is an objectively good thing but also. please be gentle with those of us who were punished for having special interests lol. like im not talking "cringe culture" im talking aba abuse and constant parental admonishment and forced redirection for showing even a modicum of passion about a topic. im trying so hard to be passionate without borders but being like "why are you freaking out cringe culture is dead long live weird freaks" when im struggling to find the courage to talk about something i love. guh

[fureiya]

hopefully in my recovery era 😳