#unless someone has an ask in which case i will continue lol

[risingsunresistance]

listening to moving to mars, now i am thinking about barry and scarf

[reidrum]

like i would | s.r

pairing: spencer reid x bau!fem!reader

a/n: ok im gonna be honest idk how i feel about this one, i just wanted to finish it and put it out so apologies in advance if its not the best lol. this was requested with the prompt "i bet he can't fuck you like i can"! feedback and reblogs are always appreciated ! thanks for being paitent while i got this one out <3

cw: 18+ minors dni, smut, fingering, munch!spencer, jealous!spencer, unprotected p in v (wrap it before you whack it), reader's bf has a name which i hate in fics but its so hard to write this trope without a name so, afab!reader,

summary: a confession about your sex life makes it's way to the one person you'd hope wouldn't hear, and now he's determined to rectify the way you've been wronged

wc: 4.5k

_____________

you were a great asset to the bau. it was why you were personally recommended by emily to transfer out of sex crimes, the skill set you brought alongside the field training you had proved to be vital for the team’s success lately. you were also a great asset to the team. the bau was notorious for having people turnover fast, and you knew they were apprehensive with newcomers. but you managed to hit it off with every single member, one more than others.

spencer reid did not expect someone like you to join the team. not that he didn’t have faith in your talents and skills, he’s read your file and obviously knows you’re more than qualified to be here. he just did not expect someone who looked like you to join the team, someone who didn’t look beaten down by the horrors of the world and still believed in pots of gold at the end of rainbows. 

it didn’t help that you were so beautiful he literally would feel his heart ache when you walked in. like literally, would have to rub his chest to soothe the pain. and as spencer would, he would logic out his feelings with science because that’s all they are, scientific chemical reactions in the body. but what he felt in your friendship, what he felt when he was lucky enough to be in your presence, was something no textbook, theorem, or equation could explain.

so imagine the size of the fucking hammer coming down on his head when he finds out you have a boyfriend who: 1. is not him, and 2. is an actual real life bozo.

apparently you’d been seeing damon from organized crime for about a month now, that’s what he heard from penelope, and you ‘claim’ to be super happy. 

spencer doesn’t buy it.

he’s seen the way your ‘relationship’ operates, and he’s got the facts to back it up. damon never lets you get a word in when you’re in group settings, even purposefully talking over you when you’re clearly attempting to speak. majority of the time he’s condescending about your job as a profiler for the bau, saying that him and his team bring down drug rings, but you guys ‘just read their horoscope or whatever and decide the killer.’

it made spencer’s blood boil hotter than the sun. he couldn’t figure out why you put up with it, and why you continue to.

the final straw that broke the camel's back about his disapproval on your relationship choices, is what he overheard on the jet one time on the way back from a case.

the girls were talking in the back of the jet, unaware of spencer’s very awake mind despite his visibly sleeping body.

“i don’t know guys,” you had started with a sigh, “you think it’s weird right?”

“that your own boyfriend won’t go down on you? yeah hon, that’s fucking weird.” emily strikes.

“what did he say exactly?” jj asked.

“he said it increases the risk of STIs on the mouth? and doesn’t like the feeling of thighs crushing his head? and that even with all the … grooming … it’s still unnatural ?”

emily gagged while jj continued, “um…but do you like…on him?”

“yes! he literally won’t touch me unless i do!” you rage whisper.

“i am about to give him an organized crime to deal with,” emily half jokes, “what an asshole, why are you still with him?”

“i don’t know, he’s still nice to me i guess, and maybe i’m just being dramatic. or maybe i’m just not someone people go down on, who knows.” you sigh.

spencer stops listening, he can’t hear you talk so poorly of yourself. not when it’s so far from the truth yet you’ve been indoctrinated to think it’s accurate. how anyone could take advantage of you like that is beyond him, but it did light a fire inside of him and made him determined to help you realize you deserve so much better. if that happens to be him, then who is he to fight that?

—

spencer doesn’t get his chance to prove it to you for another two weeks, when you’d come over to his apartment for a movie night after getting in a fight with damon, your date night being canceled and leading you to spencer’s doorsteps, all dolled up with tears lining your eyes asking to come in.

he doesn’t even have time to be mad at your shithole boyfriend when he’s ushering you inside, offering you to sit on the couch while he goes and put a kettle on the stove for tea.

“i’m really sorry to just show up like this, spence.”

he doesn’t even blink before calling out from the kitchen, “don’t apologize, i’m always here for you. anytime and anywhere.”

you give him a soft smile before returning your gaze to the soft glow of doctor who.

he returns cradling two mugs in one hand and a pack of haribo gummies in the other. spencer doesn’t care for gummies, he’s more of a chocolate guy, but he knows it’s your favorite. so he makes sure to keep a couple bags in his apartment for you.

“my favorite!” you gush. his heart warms at your smile as he sits next to you on the couch. you naturally gravitate towards him to lean your head on his shoulder, and it’s automatic for spencer to wrap an arm around your shoulders to pull you closer.

the whirs and whooshes of the tardis fill the silence for the next hour as you visibly become calmer than when you first arrived. he decides this is a good time to ask, “do you want to talk about it?” as he turns his head to look at you.

“i don’t know,” you say quietly popping another gummy in, “i’m starting to believe it's just a me problem. like, maybe i’m just objectively not a great partner, and that’s why we keep getting in these fights. you know this time, he said i’m not worth all the effort and stress i bring him and that because of me he’s gonna bald at 29? i’m not a scientist like you or anything but even i know that, at least, can’t be my fault.” you end with a chuckle.

spencer knows he should probably comfort you in this time of honesty you’ve graced him with, squash your insecurities like a pesky bug on the windshield, and tell you how beautiful you are in as many words it’ll take for you to believe it (and he knows a lot of words).

but right now? he’s just fucking pissed.

not at you, never at you. at your situation, yes. at that sorry excuse of a partner let alone agent, immensely.

so he can’t help what escapes his mouth next, “why do you let yourself get treated like shit?”

you look up at him in surprise, at both the cursing and what he said, “what?”

“you’re constantly talking about how awful he treats you, and yet everyday you still go back to him knowing it’s going to repeat the next day. i just want to know why you don’t respect yourself enough to not let that happen to you.”

pulling away to sit far from him on the couch,  you start letting the annoyance show on your face, “spencer, that’s not fair at all. you think it’s my fault? do you really think i want to feel like this?”

“yes!” he shouts, “you seem like you do with how much you crawl back to him everytime, and everytime you let him back in.”

“okay, i think i should go,” you stand up and grab your things, “it was a mistake to come here, goodbye spencer.”

he grabs your wrist before you can get too far, “i just have to know, what is it?”

“what’s what spence, let me go.”

“what keeps you going back to him, it can’t be because you love him. it’s obviously not because you’re happy with him,” he lets out.

“you don’t know anything about me or my life, spencer!” you snatch away your arm and start heading towards the door.

“it’s definitely not because the sex is good, because i know it’s not.”

any emotion you had on your face wipes away like an etch a sketch, staring blankly at the door, hearing the man you’ve harbored a crush on since you started at the bureau years ago, telling you he knows your sex life is abysmal.

your voice comes out small, “h- how would you know that?” you don’t dare to turn around, knowing that if you did any resolve you held onto, any denial of emotions you’ve stripped from yourself would come pouring out like a broken dam.

the couch groans at a loss of weight, and the floorboards creak closer and closer to you.

“i heard you, on the jet.”

you’re especially glad he can’t see the blood draining from your face. if your heart already wasn’t at your feet, it’s most likely six feet under at this point. 

he heard you?

“when you were talking with the others about how he doesn’t reciprocate, and won’t sleep with you unless you get him off.” he continues.

the room is getting hotter by the millisecond, temperature about to be comparable to the sun’s core. it’s one thing to have just anyone hear the intimate details of your life, but spencer? the man to which you’d been using damon to get over?

the only sound that can be heard is your increasingly heavy breathing, and spencer feels like he’s caught a fish on his line and is ready to reel you in as he inches closer to you.

“you’re okay with that? not being taken care of in the way you deserve?”

his presence is merely nanometers behind you, the ghost of his fingers looking for landing on your hips. when you don’t move away, and he hears your breath hitch at the contact, he sets his hands more earnestly on your curves as he leans down to the nape of your neck.

“just don’t know,” kiss, “how anyone,” kiss, “wouldn’t want,” kiss, “to give you everything.” kiss.

your head lolls back onto his firm chest as he whispers in your ear, “cat got your tongue, sweetheart? you were so mouthy not even five minutes ago. be honest with me, has he even ever made you come?”

the whimpers escape you without warning and you find a single decibel of voice to speak, “spencer…” hoping the whine would dissuade him to let it go.

“uh uh, i asked you a question,” his arm tightens around the front of your waist to press back and fully feel him, “answer me.”

your lexicon has depleted except for the one word you know he’s desperately waiting for you to say, and the one he knows is the answer. yet you know the second it leaves your mouth, everything changes. and maybe you’re okay with that.

“no.”

spencer hums lowly, “has anyone made you come?”

“no.” you say again, softer this time.

“should we change that?”

this was not what you expected when you came to see him after your failed night out. the amount of processing you’d done in the last year to essentially not be thinking about spencer 24/7 was extensive. and you were ready to render it all useless in a matter of seconds.

so you let the strap of your bag fall down your arm and hit the ground with a thud, and finally turned around to look the good doctor in his eyes. while his voice held traces of anger and frustration, you came to see his eyes were full of reassurance and comfort, the spence you always knew to prioritize your wellbeing more than anything.

he looked down at you and slid his hand to up to cup your jaw, and he hears the smallest murmur, so delicate yet so full of want leave your lips.

“yes.”

that was all spencer needed to catch your lips in a heated kiss, moving your body to the closest wall as he places a hand behind your head to protect you from the wall’s impact while the other pins your waist to the wall.

you move your arms to wrap around his neck and keep him pinned to you with no escape, like he’d ever want to. his lips detach from yours and make a descent towards your neck again, taking deliberate effort to locate the sensitive spots.

he finds one just behind your ear and spends time sucking and bruising up the spot, relishing in the soft whimpers leaving your mouth. while you’re lost in the sensation on your neck, you don’t notice spencer move one of his hands closer to the button of your pants, effortlessly (and impressively) opening it up.

detaching from your neck with a heavy pant, he moves back to lean against your forehead with his own and look you in the eyes to ask, “is this okay? we can stop if you want, i didn’t mean to be so forw-“

“please don’t stop.”

he searches your eyes for any conflict and finds none, considering it the okay to continue his downward descent. he returns his lips to the second home they’ve made on your lips and starts to push your pants down over the curve of your ass, leaving your panties on.

the flash of purple lace underwear glares at him when he glances down, and suddenly he remembers what got him in this position in the first place.

“were you wearing this for him?” he lets out condescendingly, “you really think he deserved to see you like this?”

spencer’s fingers brush against your front, leaving your heavy breaths hitting him in the face. you can’t think of anything to say. hell, you’re not even sure if you know any words right now. all you can offer is a pathetic moan, and spencer doesn’t think that’s enough.

“come on, don’t get all shy now. what were you expecting him to even do, hm? thought you said he didn’t care about making you feel good.” he taunts as his middle finger traces the outlines of your cunt through your panties.

you shudder at the contact, leaning your head back against the wall as he refuses to break eye contact. he’s waiting for you to say something, raising his eyebrows expectantly as he’s slowed down his movements on you. taking a shallow breath you open your mouth, “h-, he didn’t care, just thought if i ke-, kept looking nice he’d wanna, fuck, do something.” you moan out.

“and did he?” he moved his hand back up to slowly slip into your panties.

his finger dips all the way down to your entrance to gather your wetness and spread it all the way back up to your clit, your mouth dropping open as you let out a whiny, “no.”

“what a shame.” he dips a finger into your hole and you let out a pornographic moan.

he drags his finger in and out slowly making sure to watch your face as it contorts in pleasure. once he feels you’ve gotten used to it he slips in a second finger, increasing the pace and moving his thumb to circle your clit again.

“oh fuck,” you cry.

“baby, you’re so tight.” he whispers. the way you clenched around his two digits made feel almost pussy drunk, and he wasn’t even inside you yet. he starts to wonder if damon was doing anything really to prioritize your pleasure, and it only just worked him up more. he felt more determined to bring you to finish, so he picks up the pace and increases the pressure on your clit.

you drop your head to his shoulder no longer being able to hold yourself up anymore, the sensation of his fingers on you taking over, loose whimpers and moans falling out of your mouth every other second.

“spencer…shit, i’m gonna come…”

“let go for me, baby.” he whispers in your ear.

the pleasure barrels through you like a wrecking ball, knocking the wind out of your mind and body. your legs turn into jelly and you almost fall before spencer holds you up. you try to regulate your breathing into his shoulder, hoping to calm down before you look up and meet his eyes again.

he makes that choice for you when he gingerly lifts your head up, his eyes silently asking if you’re okay. you don’t even bother responding before softly pressing your lips to his again, hoping he can feel your response to his silent question.

the kiss picks up in urgency, and soon his hands are back to exploring your body again. they slide down to the backs of your thighs while he murmurs a small, “jump.” and lifts you to wrap your legs around his waist. without breaking the kiss he walks you both to his bedroom and places you on his bed with care.

his fists flank you on both sides as he leans down to kiss you, and he moves further down kissing along your neck and chest. you reach down to the bottom of your top to pull it over your head, leaving you in the purple lacy bra that matches your panties.

he detaches from you and stands at full height, gazing at the sight of you spread out on his bed with your hair framing you like a halo. he can’t even help himself when he says, “you look so beautiful, angel.” the blush rises to your cheeks, and you beckon him to come back down to which he happily obliges.

spencer moves down further towards your hips, and his lips ghost over the lace band spreading along your waist. his fingers play with the fabric and he moves his face to be directly in line with your clothed cunt. your breathing gets heavy, and you anticipate what he’s about to do.

“wait, you don’t, you don’t have to do that, spence. i already came.” starting to feel a bit guilty at the man above you potentially feeling obligated to do this, as you realize that if he heard you on the jet, he heard about the one thing damon refused to do for you.

“sweetheart, i’d love to keep making you feel good as long as you let me, okay? you gonna let me make you feel good?” he breaths, pressing chaste kisses to your inner thighs.

you give a slight nod and he gently pulls your panties off your legs, marveling at the light glistening off your cunt. he kisses up the plush of your thighs before pausing right where you need him the most. you look down at him and meet his unwavering eyes full of love.

he places a long kiss to your core before licking a long stripe. you moan out languishly, the euphoric feeling taking over every sense in your body. you’re unable to comprehend how you went so long without feeling this, it almost feels criminal. and the way spencer was eating you out, felt like this was doing it for him too even though you were the one getting pleasured. 

it turned you on even more to know he was getting off on how much you were enjoying this. your head was spinning off into another realm, and the only thing tethering you to this reality was the grip of your hands in his hair. his tongue made circles and shapes all over your cunt before dipping down to thrust into your hole.

your thighs shake and threaten to clamp shut on his head, and he uses his wide hands to wrap around your thighs to hold them in place. “oh my god fuck, that feels so good…spence…please..” you’re not even sure what you’re begging for, but of course, spencer does when he adds a finger into your hole and moves his tongue to focus back on your clit. the combined sensations were enough to tip you over the edge for the second time tonight, your release glistening on his chin as he moved back up to kiss your lips again.

your heavy panting tries to bring you back down from your high, a mix of sweat and the taste of you lingering everywhere. 

spencer smooths your hair back as he moves his body to lie next to you, “i think, damon’s a fucking loser, if he doesn’t think that’s worth doing.” he says between pants.

you hum in agreement, or just in acknowledgement at whatever he said since you’re still reeling from the endorphin release. hiking your leg over his body to straddle him, you clumsily reach for his belt and attempt to undo the clasps to reach his growing member. you pull his pants down and palm him through his boxers, reveling in the broken moans falling from his mouth. you start inching downwards when spencer grabs you by the forearms and flips you over so you’re back on the bed staring up at him.

“not tonight, sweetheart. it’s about you right now, wanna make sure you know what you deserve.”

“but…” you pathetically respond.

“i don’t know what that neanderthal tells you, but sex is not transactional. i think if i ever see that guy again, i’d punch him for making you think otherwise.”

the words go straight to your core, turning you on even more. spencer takes note of how your pupils widen and your chin tilts up towards him.

“besides,” he presses his crotch to yours, “the sex wasn’t even that good with him, right?”

you moan out again, unable to find words to satisfy his question. he leans back up and off the bed to fully remove his boxers and you finally get a good look at what was underneath.

holy fuck, he was huge. you propped yourself on your forearms to get a better look at him, and watched as he lazily stroked himself while he sauntered back over to you. the image was so lewd, you hoped you could borrow some of his eidetic memory so you could hold on to this moment forever.

his face held a smug smirk at your awestruck one, and he felt his ego inflate even higher, “by the looks of your reaction, i’m guessing he’s never been much of a, challenge, for you in bed has he?”

you dumbly shake your head no, “definitely not as big as you.” you whisper, more to yourself than him.

his smirk grows wider, “don’t worry, baby, i’ll take real good care of you.” he says as he climbs over you to line himself up to your entrance.

you feel him slowly start to push in, the sensation of being split open growing bigger by the second. your brows furrow and your eyes are shut tight as you wait for the pressure to turn into pleasure.

if spencer thought you around his fingers had him pussydrunk, what he’s feeling now has to be close to pussy poisoning or something because he cannot think of anything in existence that feels as good as the walls of your cunt clenching around his cock. it’s taking everything in him to not break, to just fuck you senseless and reach his peak.

once his hips are flush with yours and he’s fully settled within you, he waits for you to give him the okay to move.

you, on the other hand, have never felt more full ever. damon was not nearly this big, nor has any other guy you’ve been with. it’s a bit of a miracle on how it fit inside you, and how it felt better than anything you could’ve imagined. the pressure and slight pain subsides, and with a slight nod spencer takes the cue to start moving.

the first thrust has you both moaning out in harmony together, and he sets the pace nice and slow so as to make sure you’re comfortable.

but it's not enough for you, you need him to fuck you.

“spence…harder.”

he stills at your word, leaning up so he’s perpendicular to you.

“whatever you say, princess.”

and he starts pounding into you, hips rutting at a pace you can’t even keep up with. the whimpers and moans gush out as the familiar coil begins to build within you. he taps your leg to lift it up over his shoulder to allow him deeper access, and he’s able to reach that one spot you’d heard about from all your friends, on reddit, in movies. you had no idea this type of feeling even existed, and spencer was hitting it with precision every single thrust over and over.

“fuck,” you whine.

“that feel good, baby?” he teases, “the way you’re squeezing my cock so tight, i doubt that fucker ever made you feel like this, huh?”

your tits bounce with every thrust, and the deepened angle has you reaching your climax fast. spencer feels it too and drops his head to whisper in your ear.

“i bet he’s never fucked you like this,” he continues his taunt, “he’d never be able to fuck you like i can, make you come three times in one night like i can.”

you whimper, “spencer,”

“say it, sweetheart. say no one’s ever fucked you like me.”

he was trying to kill you, death during intercourse would be a crazy way to go out but it’s a fate you’d be willing to accept. nonetheless, you comply.

“never ever, fuck, been fucked like you, baby.”

spencer has never felt more satisfied, “good girl, now come.” and with a final thrust he lets you reach your peak as he releases himself into you.

in the midst of groans he gingerly pulls out of you and you whimper at the loss.

the next few minutes are just filled with the sounds of yours and his heavy breathing, before spencer leans over to you, “was that too much?”

still in your daze you let out a soft giggle, “spencer, i think you’ve ruined all men for me.”

he smiles back, “i meant what i said, damon’s really stupid if he’s not willing to do all that for you.”

you intertwine your hand with his, “you know, i never really liked him anyway. i was just using him to get over you.”

“me?” he says incredulously.

you nod, “i didn’t know if you would’ve felt the same so i just tried to move on to someone else, stupid i know, but i don’t know it made sense then.”

he pulls you closer to rest in the crevice of his chest, “i have been into you since the day you walked into the bullpen, and letting you slip through my fingers is a mistake i will never make again.”

you hug him tightly before groaning out loud, “shit, i have to tell damon it’s over now don’t i.”

“i mean, i could tell him if you want.”

“spence, no. i think you might kill him.” you laugh, “i can do it, i just don’t want him to get all ‘organized crime’ on me.”

“just tell him i have a gun.”

“so does he?”

“mine’s bigger.” he smirks.

you roll your eyes, “well, yes.”

[shigarakisslutbag]

Here are some "romance" tropes I feel would fit shigarakis love style if he were in a relationship or liked someone:

Grumpy and sunshine

Like actual grumpy/sunshine. Not bully x sunshine/sweet reader lol.

Idc what anyone says I firmly believe tomura would have a soft spot for his love interest. It would probably take a long time to build these sort of feelings, but once he does, he does his best to hide it

One: scared of ruining his reputation

Two: doesn't want any hero to use those feelings against him. This is a huge reason it takes him a while to admit any feelings to even himself, he doesn't one the one good thing he has, to disappear.

It kind of plays into the next one

Opposites attract

This isn't always the case of course. And in some aspects tomura would obviously want someone similar to him (hobbies, valuing alone time ((probably)), loyal, etc)

However

This sounds a bit cheesy lol but bare with me. You're like the one thing that keeps him afloat. He can't grow and mature if it's always raining (so to speak), so he needs "sunshine" to remind him that he has supporters. He needs someone to keep him in check and remind him of the things he has going for him when he can only see the cons of a situation.

The Wonderful thing about you, is that you don't just tolerate him, you actively want to see him succeed and want to help further his cause.

He'll fs act like your bubbly personality is inconvenient though, but if you have even a slight change in your attitude, he notices. And will ask you what's going on (in his own way lol. He's trying give him a break. If he didn't care he'd definitely just tell you to get over yourself)

Soul mates

Okay listen. Listennn. This may not sound very realistic at face value. But in a scenario in which you aren't affiliated with the league at all, he'd probably meet you out in public. Likely out to steal some new game or snack/drink he wanted (from a chain store ofc. If it's a chain it's free reign)

That said, he'd either see you on his walk there or in the actual store. Either way, he's burdened by some hero on their first job not knowing, well, how to do their job.

This hero in particular has some sort of "cupid"- like quirk.

Shigaraki, to his dismay, gets hit lol. No one could recognize him with a face mask and hoodie on though. But the first person he looked at was, you guessed it, you. You locked eyes with each other and he felt something he hadn't felt before. It made his stomach turn. He hated and loved it. Was it butterflies? Wasps?? Either way he feels like he just touched wet food in the sink but also wonders how he got so lucky to see eyes like yours- god, he hated being in public .

Tomura, after being hit, fell down from the force of what hit him. Literally fell for you. And you said something he'd never heard before. Something no one has ever really asked besides his mom

"are you okay?" And it's all down and uphill from there .

First love mixed with childhood friends trope

Last one, promise lol. Unless someone asks for a continuation.

I mention these two tropes mixed together, because honestly I see this as one of the most likely tropes. Tomura, as an adult has probably only a vague memory of you due to all the trauma. He blocked out quite a lot.

You were probably one of his closest friends. Granted, you two only knew each other for a brief time as you were both around 5 years old when the tragedy happened. You two probably met in elementary school if his parents sent him (elementary is not mandatory in Japan from what I read. They start first grade after they turn 6 is though). If it wasn't that, you two were likely neighbors or something. Regardless, you two were inseparable at the time.

As kids, you both had a pretty innocent view on how the world worked. Little you at one point may have even asked him why he scratches his face all the time. He'd say he doesn't know, but it feels worse when he's at home. Youre tiny little heart couldn't handle seeing the sad look on your friend's face. Almost immediately you took him to your bathroom and got the "tube with medicine stuffs" that your parents used when you got scratches to help itching or pain (which was probably calamine lotion or cortisone), and put some little bandaids on his face (he said the all might ones would make his father mad. That made you more sad, but you kept those feelings to yourself)

He'd even come back to your place when he felt itchy at home. One night though, you ran out of the topical treatment. You were both sad but went on about your time playing pretend and talking about whatever you two could think of. Time went by and he realized he wasnt itchy. Not with you. Never with you. From that moment forward he considered you his "bestest friend".

As an adult, he probably only memorized you from a feeling of loss, and missing something that he couldn't pinpoint why. This probably made him itch more. It wasn't until he had his transformation arc and his voice matured, that he realized what was making him itch so much. It was the loss of you. At least he doesn't itch anymore.

A/N: OP tries not the make themselves cry challenge (fails miserably). Anyways if there's any typos I apologize. It's 3 am and I wrote this out on a whim. Ikik I got too carried away writing, but oh well. Some of these I felt like writing a whole fic for tbh lol. That said, feel free to tell me what your favorite trope is and which one of these you loved the most:)

[cocogum]

Amalia being Yugo’s first is WILD and here’s why.

When you really think about it, Amalia is technically Yugo’s first lover in the history of the krosmoz.

Just take a moment to think about it for a second. Let it sink in.

According to what we know about Yugo and what he was like in the past, the dude couldn’t stop moving around and never had a day off from his adventures with Adamaï.

That was back when he wasn’t king and had Chibi as the one leading the council of six (unless the story got retconned but it doesn’t change the fact that Yugo was extremely adventurous). Yugo would be spending his days on his original planet discovering and battling beasts regardless if he was unaware that he rinses and repeats every time he gets reborn.

According to the manga, Yugo and Adamaï’s room looked like a giant museum that was filled and piled up with so many things he got from their adventures that it was insane how much they went outside.

So this not only tells us that Yugo was always hyperactive but it also shows how much of a messy guy he is, hoarding around all his stuff. What kind of man has these habits AND has a steady normal relationship? His partner would continuously get frustrated by the amount of times he’s late and unprepared for their dates because he’s so busy doing his own thing.

Besides, even if Yugo did want to get married to someone, who was he going to go to? The only people on his planet are people of the same race as him which are mainly composed of his primordial siblings and his people who there’s a very high chance that they are somewhat related to him and his siblings (Because let’s be honest here. Mina, Chibi, and Qilby must’ve played a huge part in even having subjects in the first place. Why do you think they’re the “primordial ones”? Qilby must’ve just been curious tho lol “iN tHe NaMe Of ScIenCe”)

So no, Yugo couldn’t have gotten into a relationship even if he wanted to.

Amalia was literally his first which is WILD (but good lol) given how many lives he has had.

Also, it’s highly likely that Amalia is the only exception. Yugo’s life is filled with calamities and dangers to defeat. If the literal retired iop god and his daughter don’t have any clue as to why his life is so dangerous but “fun” (Dally told him that he remembers why Yugo’s his best friend BECAUSE of those dangers and Elely asked him how his life can be filled with so many to begin with), then I don’t know how anyone who doesn’t have a fearless spirit can even like staying with Yugo, let alone be in a romantic relationship with him.

And even if there was a fearless person who liked adventuring, the chances of being with Yugo are slim to none. Amalia was a good option because unlike anyone else, she had so many common points with Yugo that it almost felt like she was MADE for him (evidence presented here) like a cute Sadida doll made for a dragon. Or in this case, a cute sadida made for a demigod with dragon blood 💕💕

For crying out loud, she was even the only royal who wanted to go see the world and attempted more than once to leave her kingdom to do so. How many other royals do you see doing that?? They all have abrasive, snobbish personalities who can only think about themselves and reject anything different from them. The only one who used to act so differently from the other rulers was her mother.

Amalia is truly one of a kind.

(It could also be the fact that Amalia just looks extremely different, appearance-wise. The whole Sadida look stands out a lot. They don’t necessarily get confused by other races like forgelancers/iops/sacriers, enutrofs/fecas/foggernauts. The fact that she looks/wears/talks/protects nature might also be another thing that Yugo gave his attention to.)

[diagonal-queen]

If the BSD boys were my coworkers

♡ characters: Atsushi Nakajima, Dazai Osamu, Chuuya Nakahara, Akutagawa Ryuunosuke, Kunikida Doppo, Ranpo Edogawa, John Steinbeck, Edgar Allan Poe

♡ synopsis: How would these boys be if they were my coworkers?

♡ cw: Swearing, knives, mentions of sexual harassment

note: For clarification I'm a retail assistant at a grocery store. So basically how good are these boys at stocking vegetables and being nice to people? This is extremely self indulgent, which I apologise for. Also apologies for errors and I hope you enjoy x

Atsushi:

Would be so good with helping customers. I'd always be calling after him to get me out of trouble with mean old customers lol

Like me would also be bad with the wrapping machine T-T

Pretty good at his job, not totally brilliant but also not bad. I think it'd be fine if I were left alone with him for a little bit

The kindest coworker I could ask for honestly he'd always be there to help me if I needed his help

Would bring me back a snack or cake from a nearby bakery or cafe from his lunch break <3

Like me, would find it very hard to not just start eating all the fresh fruit while he's stocking it (I kin him a lot guys lmao)

Actually like super duper efficient and we'd be able to get our work done pretty quickly. The last half hour or so of our shifts would be so slow

Would always ask me to be careful if I were using a knife to do something because he's just a sweetie

Dazai:

This dude would be so damn slow when restocking food honestly and it would be infuriating lmao

Wouldn't be very thorough when checking stock so I'd probably be finding a bit of rotten fruit while working :'(

He'd be fun to hang out with in the back though, would definitely flirt on company time and hold the both of us up lol

Would do that thing where you stand behind someone who's trying to reach something in a high shelf and you'd get it for them but also lowkey lean against them. All the time

Would be good at remembering which stock we have and what we don't have though

He would be so good and charismatic with customers, especially old women they'd call him a charming young gentleman and all that stuff

Always forgets to bring his shit (nametag, pen, apron etc.) to work and would probably have to continuously borrow things

The thing with him is that he's legitimately good at all of it but he just chooses to be incompetent just because T-T

Chuuya:

Would be so. fucking. GOOD at this job holy shit.

Super good at wrapping stock and would get the hang of all the machinery and stuff immediately

Would be civil to customers unless they give him shit then he'd give it right back lmaoo

He would definitely also defend me if I was being bullied by Karens or being harassed by male patrons (during the daytime there's my adult male coworkers and then there's me, a small girl who looks like fifteen or some shit. Y'all know I be gettin called 'sweetie' by men four times my age)

Would always be very salty about having to use the step to reach stock on high shelves lol

But he'd also be super good at heaving and lifting heavy stuff like potato sacks which I'd have to get him to do for me because I'm weak

Would look so hot in the work uniform highkey

Like the number one coworker I won't lie

Akutagawa:

Akutagawa has a serious case of resting bitch face, so customers would be too worried to approach him lmao and I'd have to help everyone

He makes up for this by being super duper good at presentation and so I'd never have to go around and organise things because they'd always look pretty lol

Probably uses his ability to help him carry things (but only in the back because that would scare customers)

Despite his fighting talent he would not be able to cut vegetables. He would be so confused with it. Same with the wrapping he wouldn't be able to get it right

Would prefer to wear gloves while working

If Gin ever came in to grab some groceries he'd talk to her for a little (and treat her better than all the other customers T-T)

Actually wouldn't be so bad to talk to while working but he would literally never initiate any conversations or small talk

Focuses so hard while he's working and it's honestly so cute

Kunikida:

He would be both good to work with but also crappy to work with hear me out

He would be great at remembering stock, helping me with customers, and helping me reach stuff on high shelves because at work I'm considered short

But he'd also hound me for being too slow or not stacking stuff correctly

That being said, he would always answer any questions that I'd have and explain things to me in a way that I'd understand :)

Works like a machine. I'd never be able to catch up to him at all (and he would hate that)

Would not want me bringing snacks or drinks to work but like what's he gonna do? Waste perfectly good food? Didn't think so Kunikida >:)

Even if he had a super long shift he'd just never tire and always be buzzing (even if he were tired he'd be great at concealing it)

Let's just be glad that he's not working alongside Dazai

Ranpo:

WOULDN'T GET ANY GODDAMN WORK DONE

I love Ranpo to the moon and back but he'd be the most useless fucking coworker of all time

He wouldn't make lists, he wouldn't grab stock and if I'm LUCKY he'd work out the front of the store. He'd use any excuse to stay in the back and just use the label maker and maybe cut vegetables because of how low effort it is

Would be super fun to hang out with if we have nothing to do though. We would talk so much shit about mean customers we encounter and stuff

He'd also bring sweets to work and let me have some sometimes, but only if I nag him about not doing any work

Would stay in the fridge just to breathe out and see mist come out of his mouth (and would also forget to close the fridge door)

Knows the layout of the whole damn store after walking through it ONE time

In conclusion I'm snitching to Fukuzawa

Steinbeck:

Absolute fucking BEAST. This dude is a farmer so he's able to rotate and complete quality checks at lightning speed

Honestly probably wouldn't need much training if any at all. He'd be the employee of the month on the first day

I feel like I'd have tons of free time at the end of my shifts because he'd just finish all the work so fast

Could use his ability to replenish stock. He could, but he won't. Just because he's a bit of a bitch (and people might not want to eat literal flesh vegetables but y'know)

Hums along to the songs that he knows on the radio while he works

Is good at being civil with customers but if they give him lip he's not gonna be as civil for much longer

Always bantering with our other coworkers and DEFINITELY talking shit about annoying customers in our free time

I mean if I want to not have to do very much work on a certain day I'd hope that I'd be working with John lol

Poe:

Would take a little while to get used to it all, because I feel like he's not the type to memorise a bunch of stuff super fast

Would be overwhelmed by customers and might freeze up on them; I'd have to come in and save him

Otherwise, he might just default to 'I'll go to the back and check for you' so he can escape the situation (same)

Would take pretty long while restocking food because he'd want to make it all look nice lol

He'd be scared of the wrapping machine (it has a hot plate to seal wrapping and he'd be scared of burning himself on it)

Might actually always be miserable because he's not allowed to bring Karl to work and so he'd feel lonely :(

He and I would talk about our niche interests when we're finished and have nothing else to do

I mean he could most definitely be worse. No matter how bad he'd be I'd love him anyway

i will do a girls version of this btw

[coyoteprince]

Hi! If I may, this is not about Widderwood, but the way you talked about witchcraft in a recent answer, "Real world witchcraft is literally just moving with intention and cause & effect" and "it helps with being delibreate with my life": seems quite interesting, but would you care to elaborate, if you wish and have time? Or is there a previous post here or somewhere else where you already talked about your view on witch spirituality? Sorry if I bother, obviously you're free to not answer and ignore this message if it's too personal or annoying. Thank you for sharing your art and world!

Yeah I'll try to explain. Unfortunately when people hear magic or witchcraft they of the media fantasy version of witchcraft or whatever when that's not what it is at all. It's just like any religion in that it focuses on cultivating life morals, cause & effect (praying to a God for blessings is similar!), and can be utilized by less than great people for power and control over others.

Witchcraft varies greatly by culture and even the person, but I can only speak from European centric stuff and my own practice. For background, I've followed my own path since I was around 12 with no guidance from others.

Spells work by focusing intention. You want x, so you create a small ritual that helps to focus on the task and what you really want and how to get to that point, like any goal setting. Often rituals are repeated for greater power to achieve a result- just like a habit. Spiritually speaking, the reasoning is often considered that everything has an energy, and this energy can be manipulated, or that there are God(s) at work. Psychology speaking, these rituals simply help you realize what you actually want to work toward and give you the gumption to go for it. For both, it's commonly believed that spells won't work unless you put in the actual, real effort to work toward a goal- and that is part of the magic. It is the act of creation. And failure is just as likely, especially if you don't plan for it or are unrealistic. You can't make someone love you or win 1 mil, but you do have the power to be kind to others and better your finances by education or similar opportunities... and even if you fail anyway, there is always something you learn from it. You just have to be intentional.

I fully believe you don't have to believe in God's or ghosts or anything to do witchcraft. The fact it works to better our lives- even if it really is just in our brains at the end of the day- is enough. And just like how people has historically leaned on a Christian God to get through times of hardship- that's what I use it for. To better myself, to realize what I want to work toward in life, and to make a conscious effort toward it. It isn't a replacement for professional help, but the addition of witchcraft has significantly helped me in my own mental health, continued betterment as a person, and appreciate living.

Tarot cards are similar. They assume fortune telling = fate, which imo is wrong. Some people think theyre demonic, some think theyre "stupid" because of the connection to spirituality, and some people consider them too serious and scary, but like all tools you have to use them right, and by God do they work when you do! Tarot cards are absolutely amazing as prompts. Ask a reasonable question, get a card, and notice what emotions and thoughts come to mind immediately- you have all the answers within you, you just might not be paying attention... and Tarot works as a surrogate third party to reflect and help you pay attention to what you really feel. Witchcraft rituals all work essentially the same way.

There's also more woo-woo centric things like ghosts and fae and such. I personally am on the fence on it all but "believe just in case" lol. I've experienced many paranormal things but also know it could be caused by my autism, trauma, or whatever else. But it isn't hurting me or anyone else.. so it doesn't matter!

This is all a ramble and probably hard to understand if you aren't already very familiar with these kind of eccentric things. I work with a lot of chemistry so I've personally noticed how close witchcraft things are to science and even therapy- and likewise how a lot of past beliefs of magic were actually just yet unexplained science & medicine.

At the end of the day, I know everything may be an illusion from my various ailments and perspective. But that's perfectly okay, because it has done nothing but make me happier, more emotionally strong, and helped me focus to better my life and relationships. It's made me a much better, intelligent person and is the perfect fit for my life, though it may not be for everyone. Our variance, weirdness, and mysteries are the beauty of being alive.

[msmargaretmurry]

vampire leon and vampire hunter matthew oh i would do ANYTHING to read it!! the TENSION the ATTRACTION it would SERVE!!!

hello thank you for your enthusiasm about vampire leon and his vampire hunter boyfriend!! i spent much of the weekend pondering but i'm bad at being online and being social at the same time so now i am catching up on my asks, thank you for your patience as well.

i'm not a super traditional vampire girlie but i do enjoy the occasional vampirey media and i love creative vampire/mythical creature worldbuilding so a lot of the fun in this concept for me is just figuring out the worldbuilding. many years later i still think regularly about this michael dal colle/leon draisaitl vampire fic, even though i have not had a single other thought or feeling about michael dal colle otherwise in my entire life (leon is not the vampire in it, alas, but the baby leon characterization is lovely). because the worldbuilding, especially the background vampire politics and the logistics of vampires integrating into "normal" society/playing in the nhl are so fun and interesting. i also think about like, true blood, which i have only seen bits and pieces of, but the whole humanizing/integrating vampires of it all, and of course buffy (beloved) and more traditional vampire/monster-hunting type stories.

i think someone could write a really fun full-on vampire/vampire hunter au, but because of who i am as a person i want a fic where they have this vampire stuff going on and still have to deal with their hockey careers, lol. my basic idea is something like (subject to change as i continue to ponder): a couple of generations there was some sort of accords/treaty reached between vampires and vampire hunters, because of the way the world was changing, it being much more difficult to hide, and also some sort of development that made it easy for vampires to feed without killing humans and kind of... put a damper on their vampire-ness, made it easier for them to blend in if they chose to, and the vampire powers that be decided that they should all do that, for safety. obviously there are still rogue vampires out there and still hunters who try to hunt down and kill even the ones minding their own business but for the most part at this point everyone minds their own business unless something particularly bad happens.

so matthew's grandparents were the last tkachuks to actually hunt vampires. keith was trained, did a little hunting in his youth as the kinks and wrinkles of the new order got ironed out, but was able to go on and have his hockey career instead of dedicating his life to hunting. then matthew, brady, and taryn come along, and they're kind of trained, just in case, and taught how to recognize vampires, taught how to protect themselves, taught all the ways vampires are still not human and not to be trusted and highly dangerous, but they're still able to go on and live normal lives.

until matthew starts playing against leon draisaitl. and he's spotted vampires out in the world before, but never in hockey — they tend to keep low profiles, and even at the lower-levels, team sports are not low-profile, and also matthew has just never imagined vampires caring about sports at all, although maybe that's a stereotype, but whatever — anyway. it takes him a few games to figure out what's up with draisaitl, and even when he starts suspecting, he's not sure, but then one battle of alberta matthew gets in a fight and ends up with a bloody face, and as he's ushered past draisaitl on the way to the box, he sees the way draisaitl is staring, the way his pupils are dialated, the way his throat moves when he swallows, the way his tongue darts out and matthew swears, he swears he sees a hint of fangs even though he knows those only come out when a vampire is feeding or in a bloodlust. and maybe he's just dizzy from getting punched but for a second when their eyes meet he is sure he feels that thing his dad and granddad warned him about, the way that if a vampire looks you in the eye he can hypnotize you. or read your mind. maybe both. the lore is kind of fuzzy. but obviously matthew is going to have to find him after the game. to find out what the fuck draisaitl is doing here, and figure out if he's going to have to put any of that training he never thought he'd need to use. because it feels dangerous, having a vampire in the league. it feels way too close for comfort.

[luimagines]

*cracks knuckles* it's my time to shine

My credentials: I was diagnosed with the inattentive manifestation of ADHD when I was 19. I'm now 21.

My limitations: I've only played twilight princess, botw, totk, and skyward sword. so these will be focused mostly on wild, twilight, and sky.

For all of them: studies have shown that those with ADHD have increased pattern recognition, which is vital for all of the Zelda games. Additionally, there's a theory that ADHD was an evolutionary advantage in cases where rapid decision making and intense physical activity were necessary for survival.

Now onto specifics.

Sky: most likely inattentive. He is known to doze off when sitting down for longer than like 2.2 seconds. This is pretty consistent with what's known as intrusive sleep. It's a fairly common experience for folks with ADHD folks. Essentially, the nervous system disengages as soon as the person loses interest in whatever they are doing and that leads to sudden drowsiness.

Wild: Combined type. I think the open world format of botw and totk really contribute to this lol. He can do whatever he wants, whenever he wants. He's impulsive, insanely energetic, and can enter a state of hyperfixation seemingly at will (flurry rush and bullet time). He wanders off literally all the time and will forget what he's doing unless he has a reminder (sheikah slate).

I may continue this with my thoughts on twilight but it's like almost 2 AM and I need to be up in four hours lol goodnight!! Feel free to ask me to elaborate on my thoughts :)

Guess I'll be ADHD anon now if that's okay 😅

Oh my goodness- I hope you got the sleep you needed. ^.^*

And you can be the ADHD anon, I suppose. It's not like anyone else has that name. XD

I'm glad that someone else has this because I don't necessarily know the difference between inattentive or just like...general ADD. I just never got around to do/look up the research.

[asoftgoth]

I hope these aren't intrusive to ask, but when it comes to your recent hip growth...

A. It's so cute, first of all

B. Do you believe they're growing solely because of HRT, or because of HRT plus you're specifically eating enough to continue gaining during your transition?

And when it comes to your transition in general, if you happen to plan to undergo any sort of gender confirmation surgery, have you already looked into qualifications/patient criteria? I'm not asking because I want to pry about you but because I think my egg is cracking but I'm already about the same size as you and I'm worried that if I even try transitioning, eventually I'll hit a road block at which point if I want to get any relevant surgery, they won't consider me viable unless I lose a lot of weight.

Again, I'm so sorry if this isn't stuff you're comfortable talking about, in which case please don't feel obligated to reply to this at all. I hope you're doing well!

Hey there :) First off im happy to answer pretty much any transition related questions. These are really invasive though and I appreciate you acknowledging that. For everyone that will read this, please don’t expect every trans person you speak with to be willing to open up like this. But with that said here we go:

A: Lol thank you 🥰💕

B: Its such an exciting and scary part of someone’s life when their egg is starting to crack. I remember those days well and I feel for you. But trust me, it gets so much better 💕 And about your questions, my hip growth is because of HRT mainly, and the fact that I have an overall decent diet. That’s pretty much it. And the diet aspect is important, when you transition your body is undergoing a massive transformation and it needs energy to help it along. My actual diet is for another post maybe, (it’s not anything special tho) but I’m not “actively gaining” and haven’t been since I started HRT, believe it or not! It might surprise some people but I’ve actually lost weight even though I’ve added about 3 inches to my hips since starting almost 9 months ago. Almost all of the weight I’ve lost (about 40lbs) has been from muscle loss throught my body. Plus I’ve also lost a ton of visceral fat from my waist(yay), and gained lots of subcutaneous fat in my ass and thighs (also yay). That’s not to mention my chest which is *really* growing a ton, and fast too. I’d say im really lucky with how my proportions are filling out, but it’s a long process and im extremely grateful. Transitioning definitely isn’t over night tho and as much as this sucks, it’s a genetic roll of the dice for what your proportions will look like. Transitioning takes a lot of bravery, and I don’t say that lightly.

With all that said, yes I do have some surgeries in mind that I want and plan on getting in the next few years. I don’t want bottom surgery, but if I did then my size would be an issue. There are strict BMI limitations for getting a vaginoplasty. It fucking sucks but that’s just the reality of things in 2023. Simpler surgeries like getting an orchi don’t have those requirements and that’s one thing I plan on getting fairly soon. Another one is FFS. I’ve actually talked with a few surgeons already who do FFS and some have BMI requirements and others don’t. The ones that don’t unfortunately may cost a bit more from what I’ve seen. (But they do have more experience too). For implants and things like that, I don’t know, I haven’t researched boob jobs specifically but I can’t imagine BMI would be an issue there. I know it isn’t for fat injections in your butt/hips.

One last thing too that I wanna make clear, because a lot of people might read this. You don’t have to actually take any medicine or have any procedures done to be transgender 💕 Medically transitioning is something that helps so many of us and is absolutely necessary for (I would say) most trans people, (it 100% saved my life, I wouldn’t be here without it). But not all, and it doesn’t define your transness whether or not you’ve taken ~this~ medicine or had ~that~ surgery. I was just as much a woman as I am now for the year before I started HRT when I knew I was trans. And I was just as much a girl when I was born. I’ve been a woman all my life, it just took a little while for me to figure myself out haha. Just trust your gut and make healthy decisions. I put off the whole “deliberately gaining” thing while my body is going through all this change. And I personally feel like im better off for it. However I’m working out and eating to help grow my lower half, so I guess you could say my gaining journey isn’t over, it’s just changed. But anyway, I hope this helps you and anyone who reads this, sorry it was so long lol. If you have any other questions don’t hesitate to ask, and my inbox is always open too 🖤

[asmallmoon333]

if the loops in Time Speaks were not afterlife loops and 'fake' time travel, and were actual real world time travel, how do you think that would have changed things?

Oooh, okay, interesting!

So, in this case, Light would go back to when he saw the death note fall. Ryuk would still be in this world, but no memories, as I'd have only L and Light remember.

Light would basically do the same thing as he did in second life, kill his enemies quickly and then rise as Kira. However, he might not succeed this time either (in Second, Light had 'help' to ensure he reigned his whole life, since that was the point). Light would be determined to win and have the shadow of his death in OG death note hanging over him (He also would be more distant from Ryuk for the same reason). After coming back, he wouldn't be sure he'd come back again if he died a second time, so he'd take his 'second chance' seriously and protect his life above all. Kira would be crueler here, and justify it as necessary to build his New World.

Now if you mean that there was only one chance to time travel, the story would end here, another self-made tragedy for Light Yagami.

But if this is also another loop, but just in the real world, it would continue on.

It's in the third loop that things would start developing differently. Light might proceed to do the Kira thing again just out of pure stubbornness to see what his utopia should have been (because he had no help ensuring it happened in second life this time, so he didn't get exactly all he wanted), but knowing it's a loop would have taken some passion from him. Here's where he starts to feel the loneliness, and where he allows himself to think of L.

I think he'd contact L and test him to see if L has his memories back as well. However, L will not have at that point, since he only gets them back in the Tailor broadcast. Light, not knowing this, would be disappointed, and feel the creeping sensation of being all alone. But he'd decide to play along with L, to recreate the case, since he misses it.

Now the fun starts, cause L then does get his memories back, remembers also Light's 'test' (or someone's test which he deduces was Light) and realizes it means Light remembers as well. For L this is his first do-over, so he's harsher with Light this time (he remembers dying in first and second, and this time he didn't spend a whole lifetime (Third in my fic) alone and cognizant of his loneliness. So L would be more spiteful and crueler with Light this time. L would toy with him, cat and mouse style, and hide the fact that he remembers everything. Eventually, this lifetime would end (tbh I'm not sure how it would go, just that they'd have a hand in each others' deaths.)

Then it would start again next loop. In this one, Light would get revenge, knowing now that L either lied about not having memories, or actually did not have them yet. He'd use this to his advantage, and the Cat-Mouse game would be reversed.

I'm not 100% sure what outcome this would have, only that they both realize that it's now them alone in an endless world. They'd either go Hell Mode on each other (like in one of my previous asks) or eventually calm down and get closer again. Maybe both lol, knowing them.

This would be an endless loop, since unlike in my story there is no known cause or point of it. There would be no 'outside' interference driving the plot, no Misa and no Entity. It would just continue on and on. Light might get desperate and ask Ryuk what was going on, but Ryuk wouldn't know either.

So, yes, an endless story where L and Light just exist together forever lol. They'd play games against each other over and over. Unless they figure out how to end the loop, or it one day just ends by itself without warning. But they wouldn't know it had ended, would they? That would just be their last life; hopefully a happy one for them, by that point.

And so this story would have an open ending :)

So, yeah, an interesting question! Sorry if my answer is confusing, having to squish down what would in writing be around 100K is hard lol.

[risebto]

"I could probably make an entire post talking about how Hamato Yoshi's disappearance would legally go down and stuff but I don't think that's interesting for anyone but me lol." WRONG that sounds cool as heck and I'd love to hear your take on it

OKAY WOO LETS DO THIs

So I'd like to preface this post by the thing every lawyer went to school to learn: IT DEPENDS.

So nothing I say here is a fact, nor is it legal advice. In fact, please do not disappear off the face of the Earth. I don't need any more police officers showing up at my doorstep.

Anyways, onto LEGAL BULLSHIT REGARDING HAMATO YOSHI'S LEGAL DISAPPEARANCE

First things first, we'll need to establish a timeline. Ron Corcillo said that Splinter was in the Battle Nexus for 10 years (source), and Draxum says that it's been 12 years since he mutated the turtles in season 1, episode 19, "Evil League of Mutants." This would mean that, at the start of the show, it has been 22 years since Hamato Yoshi's disappearance.

In New York's Estates, Powers and Trusts Law section 2-1.7, it is stated that:

A person who is absent for a continuous period of three years, during which, after diligent search, he or she has not been seen or heard of or from, and whose absence is not satisfactorily explained shall be presumed, in any action or proceeding involving any property of such person, contractual or property rights contingent upon his or her death or the administration of his or her estate, to have died three years after the date such unexplained absence commenced, or on such earlier date as clear and convincing evidence establishes is the most probable date of death.

In simpler terms, someone who has been missing (consistently) for three or more years will be declared dead by the state. And, according to Google, 22 is far greater than 3, so we have a case to be made that Hamato Yoshi should, legally speaking, be declared dead in the state of New York.

But wait.

What happened to Hamato Yoshi's assets? In a regular case, all assets would be divided between known, living relatives unless a will was written detailing how his assets should be divided up. This comes into question if Yoshi even had a will. And to determine that, let's look at his age in the show. It's hard to determine, and there's no official age for him, as far as I can tell. I asked people on my Discord, and the general consensus was that he is currently in his 50s. That would make him in his 40s during the Battle Nexus and in his 30s during his prime as Lou Jitsu.

Looking at various sources indicates that, on average, lower than 50% of people below the age of 50 have wills. Obviously, this is subjective and changes depending on a person's situation and other factors, so there is a chance that Hamato Yoshi has a will, and it was enacted.

But assuming that, statistically, he didn't have a will and because we are basically told that Splinter and the boys are the last Hamatos, he has no (legal) living relatives.

So... what happens if you have no will and no relatives? Typically, your entire estate goes to the state.

That must mean that Hamato Yoshi's stuff is now the state's because he is most likely declared dead long before he escapes the Battle Nexus. Right?

BUT. WAIT.

We know for a fact that Hamato Yoshi has access to his old stuff. He certainly didn't have anything in that cell of his in the Battle Nexus, and even if he did, it's not like he was able to go back and get it to bring it to the sewers with him when starting a new life.

And we can't say that the Lou Jitsu stuff he has is just merchandise he bought, either. We can't explain away the fact that he has stuff from his past life that is unable to be replicated.

The smoking gun in this is the teapot and the Hamato Clan scroll.

Splinter's teapot, "Skully," is said to be passed down from generation to generation. This is something he could not have bought off some store and would need direct access to his old life's assets to get this back.

This means Splinter has access to Hamato Yoshi's assets. I haven't come up with a definitive answer as to how he has access to his old stuff, but I have a few. I may post those at a later date, but I just wanted to get this analysis out.

[lunar-years]

If you pause and zoom in, the texts are VERY desperate. Asking for dates, begging for contact, talking about trying to forget about all the drama. They totally took away any sort of moral high ground Keeley had in 3.08 here, like it felt like, you know, Keeley didn't like Jack's POV, she was right, and it was up to Jack to change her mind and get on Keeley's level. Now, it looks like Keeley was willing to just cave and beg, like she wanted Jack back so bad. It isn't a great look that they've done this to her character. What the hell?

Okay to preface this I haven't gone back and zoomed in on the texts yet so I'm just taking your word for it that they're very desperate (but combined with the raging context clue of there being about a million zillion of them and that one being a solid BLOCK of text [oh Keeley] I don't exactly find it hard to believe, lol).

What I will say is that I continue to think Keeley is much worse off mentally right now than she appears on the surface. I don't think what they're trying to get at is that she's suddenly tossing her morals out the window by begging for Jack to take her back...it's just that her morals are currently being overridden by her overwhelming fear of abandonment and her desperation for external validation as well as her lack of confidence and trust in her own mind. I made a post a few nights ago after rewatching 3x08, and the same sort of problems are written all over that scene where she asks Rebecca if she should be embarrassed or ashamed by the leak. Keeley knows she is in the right, but she still can't quite believe it, she still questions herself, she still needs Rebecca to confirm it for her. I think the same things are at play here with these texts to Jack.

The problem I have with it is that we've now spent an entire season on this Keeley CEO girl boss arc...and I don't think it's progressed her character at all. If anything, I actually think her self-esteem has only tanked further. When the season first started, I thought they were going to use Shandy as a mechanism for Keeley to grow and develop into a mentor who could carry on what Rebecca has done for her, but right now she is still not anywhere near being in a position to be that person for someone else.

Listen, I loved that Roy and Keeley broke up before the season started because I truly felt they needed time to discover themselves and grow into the best versions of themselves before they could ever succeed together. Instead, they've both been in an absolute crisis-spiral all season (but at least I feel Roy has made some progress in the Chelsea episode and his scenes with Jamie, as well as tonight, and I think his spiral has just generally been clearer and better written).

The messy crisis era for the two of them is all well and good unless:

we really do only have three episodes left of this show EVER and we are only just NOW starting the upswing of their mutual growth arc

they throw Roy and Keeley back together before the season ends when it is more obvious now than ever that they are not in a good position to be doing that shit. For one, they've still barely spoken all season. What they need is a reckoning with one another (and Jamie) and then a friendship era before anything happens between them again relationship-wise. Three episodes isn't enough for that all to happen, however you slice it.

Which is to say, I think a lot of this might still work if it is ultimately setup for a s4, but it is not working as a final season arc, if that's what it truly is, and in that case I would think they've done a disservice to Keeley's character.

[manie-sans-delire-x]

Lol you’re actually not hot. Or loved.

Lol look anon, I dont know what your problem with me is, but lets address this on-going issue. I literally dont even know who you are, and your one-sided obsession with putting me down in any way you can is getting pretty old and by this point, its past pathetic. Youre getting desperate, grasping at every single thing you could say "nuh uh actually youre dumb/ugly/etc" to me about. Its not the first time someone has become obsessed with me. But yeah I dont think about you at all, and you clearly think about me quite a lot. You are so filled with hate and bitterness that Im genuinely starting to feel a bit sorry for you, because happy, healthy people dont feel the need to do this.

You are too cowardly to even come off anon. How do you feel after sending these messages? Proud of yourself? Ive worked with kids who curse you out everyday and physically attack you, so you think you accomplished something with doing that? Your attempts at making me sad is a gnats bite, sorry. Youll have to do a lot worse than some meany words.

(Ok wait something Ive genuinely been curious about- You know those typical 10 IQ bully tropes in movies? What do people like you think when you watch those scenes? Do you agree with the bully? Do you even realize youre the same? Do you realize everyone else who watches hates the bully and thinks they have low intelligence and are pathetic and weak? Like no seriously Im actually asking, I wanna know how self-aware people like you are. Because seriously, look at what you just send me. Its like a lazy, unoriginal writer writing a schoolyard bullys dialogue. "Youre actually not hot. Or loved." Heheheeee!) (Unless you are actually are a middle or high schooler, which, if thats the case, makes a lot of sense. If thats the case please let me know, as I would talk to a kid differently to how I would speak to an adult. Otherwise I will continue to assume you are an adult.)

You clearly are projecting some kind of personal issue onto me, I think you may be perceiving me to be someone that I am not, or think something that I do not, and with all sincerity, I suggest you look internally to resolve your clear unhappiness and lack of self-confidence. Being a bully never looks good on anyone, and it wont make you any happier or get you what you want. In fact it will only lower your self-esteem, because no matter what you portray outside, you see yourself doing this, so inside you will always know that you are a pathetic, jealous loser who bullies strangers behind the shield of anon on tumblr.com lmao. Using your one life well I see.

Is this some misguided attempt at asking for help? You must want something from me, to keep coming to bother me. Im always willing to counsel, even for you, even though youve been nothing but vile to me for no reason. If you want to talk about something thats going on, you can dm me. Im willing to start over. If youre polite, Ill be polite. Its that simple.

Otherwise maybe do something that you can feel proud of, that makes you feel good when you go to sleep tonight. Create art, show kindness to others, meditate, do something for your future. Read a book. Go help your mother.

If you choose to continue this bad behavior and send more hate messages, I will not be responding and they will simply be deleted.

Try to have a good day today, yeah? Im going to go make a blackberry and vanilla milkshake, would you like one?

[nabooro]

Hello again! Thank you so much for answering my last questions - I have some more nâdune/cânsag related ones, if that's alright! (I thought I'd put them all in this ask since they were (kinda) related to each other):

So first, do you have any ideas on the origin of the nâdune and cânsag? I vaguely recall that you might have mentioned it at some point but I couldn't find the post again if you did!

Second, do you have the Order of the Sanctuary at all in your canon? I think it's something that's mentioned like once in Legends that the handmaidens were traditionally trained there.

Thirdly, what do nâdune/cânsag after the monarch's full term? Obviously, Padmé's followed her into later politics but not all monarchs go on to continue working in politics.

Fourthly, does anyone else other than the monarch have nâdune/cânsag - like, politicians that were never a monarch, or even members of the upper class or the old families?

Fifthly (because I kept thinking of questions as I wrote this ask), do you have surnames for the other, lesser known handmaidens that are mostly just named on the wiki and don't have surnames? (You might not consider them canon in which case don't worry lol)

And finally (sorry for all the questions lol), is there a term for nâdune/cânsag that's like neutral, so you don't have to say nâdune/cânsag each time?

(Also, if it's not cheeky to ask, if I were to write something using your ideas and credit you, would that be alright? Going through this blog has really inspired me to write handmaiden stuff and I would love to, although I completely understand if you would prefer I didn't!)

Dé sorud! Thank you for entertaining my enthusiasm lol

Hi! I'm so sorry this took absolutely forever to answer, but uh... I have no excuse. I saw the ask, went 'I'll get to it later', and then did not get to it later. Apologies!

To answer your questions:

I have talked about it a little bit here, in the post on enshué, which I suppose is a little unlikely to be where to hunt for it. But tl;dr, the origin of canâk (this is the answer for your last question also!) is just simply the need for security and bodyguards, especially in politically turbulent times on Naboo. If there are five queens in five speeders or whatever the risk is split in five, etc etc. The ritualisation of the canâk and it sort of combining with the facepaint to become a sort of "one face one name" thing happens later, connected to other sociopolitical developments on Naboo.

I... have to say I have never heard of the Order of the Sanctuary 😅 When I say that I don't follow Legends and so on, I really mean that. I'm sure there is some form of training given to the handmaidens, but I don't imagine it's a specific Order or in a specific location - more varied and depending on time, age, people involved, and so on. The process is not as formalised in Padmé's era as it once was, and that reflects in other things.

So I always imagine that canâk can just... quit. I personally love very much the crisis of wearing somebody else's face and somebody else's name, and I think the process would really take something out of you that you may not be able to get back. Nonetheless, I think some of them try. And they can quit! They are allowed! It is just a job, even if it also isn't. I think those that quit in difficult circumstances probably have a bad time of it in public opinion, and I think possibly there may be assassinations and so on if someone tries to quit in term, but after their term as handmaid is over, they are free to leave and do... whatever they want. Whatever other people on Naboo do, I guess. They probably have benefits, given that it's a high-risk political position. A pension plan. Lifetime healthcare.

That's really interesting! I think they can, like nobody's stopping them, and particularly paranoid ones might - but I think it would be more difficult for them to find sufficiently loyal people, unless they've had someone with them since they were young. The position of canâk is not an easy position to occupy, whether that's because of risks to your life or because of the loss of individuation inherent in it. If you're doing it for the ruler of your people, you may be willing – but how many people are going to be as willing when it's just some rich bastard? ...lol. Which is to say: yes, but it may be more difficult, and they'd probably have to pay really well.

I don't have surnames for all of them right now, though I could probably kind of arbitrarily assign surnames to them. If you'd like to hear some other surnames you want to hear about or want to think of some kind of thematic ones, that'd be interesting!

The term is canâk, which I didn't come up with until after I'd written the post on nâdune. The word just means "disguise", but can handily be applied to the people who wear disguises or act as bodyguards in a disguised form – though not, I have to say, to those who wear facepaint for religious orders.

Finally: yes, of course! I'm always happy to answer any q's that may come up while you're playing with these little figurative sandcastles. If you want to write handmaiden stuff, please do - and I'd be thrilled to read it also!

Thank you again for your interest, sorry this took absolutely forever! Dé sorud!

[bearvanhelsing]

😊 and 📀 and 🌸 - for Tyrel and Aria both!

Thanks so much for asking Sphinx! these were a lot of fun to think about! ARIA: 😊 What can make your OC smile even when they’re feeling down? What cheers them up and makes everything feel better for them? Is your OC genrally a happy person and do they enjoy making others smile? What about your OC makes others happy? Aria is generally not feeling great most of the time. She doesn't really have any outlet for emotional support in her life so she usually tries to distract herself hence why she generally hates being alone or being at home unless she's practicing with her pistols. I wouldn't say practicing makes her feel happy, but the little adrenaline rush she gets whenever she feels the pistol go off in her hand is enough to alleviate her mood for a short time. Otherwise, it's off to whichever bar or gambling den catches her fancy that evening. She projects that most of the people in those kinds of spaces are just as miserable as she is so she takes sort of a morbid comfort in being around what she perceives are like-minded individuals trying to distract themselves. Regarding making others smile... Because Aria grew up watching her father's generosity and kindness be taken advantage of by so many, she became extremely embittered and cynical toward Absalom society and people in general as a result. Ultimately when it was very clear that her father had a problem with substance abuse, nobody that he had helped had tried to reach out and help him and in many cases continued taking advantage of him. Because of that, she doesn't really take well to helping someone without getting something in return. 📀 How easy is it to shock your OC? To confuse them? To lie to them, to manipulate them? How are they with feelings of trust? Can your OC be trusted? Aria is very slow to trust in general so from the outset, it's rather difficult to convince her of anything she hasn't thought of or come to a conclusion about herself. Because of the aforementioned watching her dad be taken advantage of, she views most people as being out for themselves and will generally try to hurt someone else before they can end up hurting her. She has a very "the winner takes it all" approach to most interactions but when she does truly trust someone, it would be very easy for that person to manipulate and control her because she's rather deprived of positive relationships and would be willing to bend her own truth in order to keep that person around. Can Aria be trusted is kind of a no... but actually also yes if you know what to expect from her. She's willing to lie to get what she wants but also she's blunt and straightforward most of the time. She doesn't really pretend to be anything other than what she is, the way in which she presents herself is honest and she'd be more inclined to use brute force than subtle manipulation in most situations. When it comes down to it... she really doesn't have the patience for lies and mind games. Why waste your time navigating a web of lies when a good threat or the barrel of your gun pressed into their skin can get a result so much faster? Tyrel: 📀 How easy is it to shock your OC? To confuse them? To lie to them, to manipulate them? How are they with feelings of trust? Can your OC be trusted? Tyrel is a conman so he has an easy time telling when someone is trying to use one of his own tricks on him. It's why he was able to undermine Wenduag's many attempts to betray him, how he was able to tell Camellia was lying to him but wasn't a threat to him, personally, and tell that Forn was setting a trap for him. Can you trust Tyrel would be a big NO not really lol! He really can't help himself and often times he ends up hurting people he really didn't mean to hurt. He has been warned in the past that he'll wind up hurting everyone around him and he kind of does with one notable exception.

😊, for Tyrel and 🌸 for both Aria and Tyrel can be found here https://www.tumblr.com/bearvanhelsing/711809398473998336/and-for-aria-and-for-tyrel-for?source=share

[alloutofgoddesses]

C3 E50 - It’s the middle of the semester so I have no free time ever and I’m reconsidering all of my life choices leading to this moment

Gale!

Fun fact I tried watching this last night and only got about an hour and half in when I realised I was way too tired and distracted so I turned it off

Jester I miss you

NOPE vibes

Why is Liam so little

Off topic but anybody else have a grey cat? I have a nearly 11 month old grey feline and I would love to know if they’re all Like This or if mines a special (basket) case

Aahhhhhhhh oh my god I’m so happy for Imogen

Planning is an essential part of DND but guess what. I am not paying attention to a whole lot of it unless I myself am planning

RIP Silver Sun? I don’t understand why this is necessary oops

Travis bud when was the last time you got your eyes checked

Fly in studio AGAIN (why are there so many flies in the Critical Role studio)

Miss your merk

…and I guess I’m done with my tea now thanks Hermes

Gnome sinkholes

Also there’s no way they’re coming back with a better ship lol

Laura please don’t do math problems

Keyleth I love you

Nothing bad is going to happen, this plan will go as expected

Awww Fearne gave Ashton a forehead kiss

Shout out to Travis for continuing to wear the sweat bands

Oh boy oh boy

I love seeing Travis “Aabria was only scared of me” Willingham in his element

My tummy feels weird lol… idk why this isn’t very high stakes at all

Hello who are you

Scary Laura scary Laura

Okay but how “high up” is Lilliana for that to work

Oof buddies

Oh hey I own those sweatpants

Just filibuster, that’ll stop the apocalypse from happening

Don’t look at your wife like that Matt

Oh no - I feel like it’s a bad idea to run

Does Travis need the sweatbands because I think I do

WEREWOLF TIMEEEW

OH THAT’S VERY BIG

Get em Laudna

How much attention do we think this combat is drawing. Also who’s hiding in the tent

Casual Lizzo ref

Bye Ashton

The warder is gonna die via electrocution!

Is it Otohan or her mom

AH SHIT I WAS RIGHT ABOUT SOMEONE BEING IN THE TENT

Wait a minute wait a minute wait a minute

Fingers crossed fingers crossed this is a blorbo from our shows

This has to be someone very dexterous

That’s monk shit right that has to be monk shit

THATS EXPOSITOR BEAUREGARD LIONETT

Me too Liam

Ashley I love you - try your absolute damndest please

That’s my second favourite Critical Role lesbian!!!!!!

ASHLEY SHE IS SO HOT

That’s Beau!!

THAT’S MY BABYGIRL

ME TOO LIAM!!!!!!

Multi-campaign crossover!!!!!!!!!

ME TOO DANI

In the words of Liam AND Aabria, what’s sexier than wizards? NOTHING

Oh Caleb is so respectful I love hims

Yeah you have baby

Probably Beau 😬

I would love to see Beau and Caleb in Vasselheim

Hey it’s her!

Very excited for the people who woke up Devexian to meet FCG honestly

Awww where’s the rest of the Mighty Nein

- Who didn’t make it out? I would like to know Caleb

When is Chet gonna become small again. I feel like it’s gonna make Beau laugh

Ashton has been silent the entire time 🧐

Ashton bby speak up ask questionssss

Which of his romantic partners is he referring to

Oh shit third wizard?

Yeah Travis the meta levels are out of this world

There’s Ashton hi buddy

Ajshshsjaj BEAU

I want Ashton and Beau to be passive aggressive together PLEASE

Be careful with that fourth wall it doesn’t look super stable right now

Okay but I would prefer if we move forward with the full team here

Desperately want Beau and Caleb to meet FCG

[THEY] XANDIS IS THEY REMEMBER PRONOUNS MARISHA

Ah goddammit. See y’all next week