#unless they’re ridiculously rich

[identittie-crisis]

btw king charles got cancer and my insta is making bets when he dies. it’s really funny.

[theculturedmarxist]

In photos of 2023’s World Economic Forum- or Davos as it is commonly called, after the Swiss resort town where it annually occurs- you might not notice the HEPA filters. They’re in the background, unobtrusive and unremarked upon, quietly cleansing the air of viruses and bacteria. You wouldn’t know- not unless you asked- that every attendee was PCR tested before entering the forum, or that in the case of a positive test, access was automatically, electronically, revoked. And if you happened to get a glimpse of the strange blue lights overhead, you could reasonably assume that their glow was simply a modern aesthetic choice, not the calming buzz of cutting edge Far UVC technology- demonstrated to kill microbes in the air.

It’s hard to square this information with the public narrative about COVID, isn’t it? President Biden has called the pandemic “over”. The New York Times recently claimed that “the risk of Covid is similar to that of the flu” in an article about “hold outs” that are annoyingly refusing to accept continual reinfection as their “new normal”. Yet, this week the richest people in the world are taking common sense, easy- but strict- precautions to ensure they don’t catch Covid-19 at Davos.

These common sense, easy precautions include high-quality ventiliation, use of Far UVC-lighting technology, and PCR testing. You’ll also see some masks at Davos, but generally, the testing + air filtration protocol seems to be effective at preventing the kind of super-spreader events most of us are now accustomed to attending.

It seems unlikely to me that a New York Times reporter will follow the super-rich around like David Attenborough on safari, the way one of their employees did when they profiled middle-class maskers last month. I doubt they will write “family members and friends can get a little exasperated by the hyper-concern” about the assembled Prime Ministers, Presidents and CEOs in Switzerland. After all, these are important people. The kind of people who merit high-quality ventilation. The kind of people who deserve accurate tests.

Why is the media so hellbent on portraying simple, scientifically proven measures like high-quality ventilation as ridiculous and unnecessary as hundreds of people continue to die daily here in the US?

Why is the public accepting a “new normal” where we are expected to get infected over and over and over again, at work events with zero precautions, on airplanes with no masks, and at social dinners trying to approximate our 2019 normal?

We deserve better. We deserve to be #DavosSafe as the hashtag going around on twitter puts it. Your children deserve to be treated with the care that world leaders are treating each other. Your family deserves to be protected from the disease which is still- unlike the flu- the third leading cause of death in the US. We don’t deserve to be shoved back into poorly ventilated workplaces while our politicians and press assure us that only crazy people would demand to breathe clean air.

Clean water and clean food are rights we fought for; we have regulatory bodies that ensure we aren’t exposed to pathogens via our water supply nor our food. In 1854, John Snow famously conducted his Broad Street Pump study in London and demonstrated that cholera was water-bourne; however, it took decades for our public policy to catch up with our scientific knowledge.

A public health case study published by the NBCI describes the years that followed:

The first use of chlorine as a disinfectant for water facilities was in 1897 in England. The first use of this method for municipal water facilities in the United States was in Jersey City, New Jersey, and Chicago, Illinois, in 1915. Other cities followed and the use of chlorination as standard treatment for water disinfection rapidly grew. During the 20th century, death rates from waterborne diseases decreased significantly, and although other additional factors contributed to the general improvements in health (such as sanitation, improved quality of life, and nutrition), the improvement of water quality was, without doubt, a major reason.

Forty-three years passed from the initial demonstration that pathogens were being spread via water, and public action and regulation to halt disease.

Can you imagine, in the 1890s, being somebody who argued against cleaning the water?

Can you imagine, in those years of plentiful cholera, calling the people who demanded shit-free water “hold outs”?

One thing COVID realists are accused of is being “doomsayers” and “fearmongers,” so let me share a dose of optimism about the future with you. When we choose- whenever we choose- to get COVID under control, there’s an exciting new world awaiting us. One, not only without constant COVID reinfection, but where our kids can grow up free of colds, flus, RSV, and many other common bugs. And no, contrary to what you may have heard, staying healthy (shockingly enough) is not bad for children!

Once we choose to institute ventilation standards and introduce new technologies like Far UVC lighting- and embrace masking as an easy, kind, and useful tool to control outbreaks- we can bring every nasty airborne pathogen under control the way we did cholera. We didn’t have the science before; now we do. (I mean that quite literally; I can’t recommend enough the linked Wired article cataloguing the long journey to establishing that Covid is, indeed, airborne).

We face a stark choice; down one road, the one with zero infrastructure upgrades, no air quality regulations, and Covid safety only for those who can afford it, you and your family will get Covid this year. You will get Covid next year. You will continue to get Covid over and over and over again, as the health problems - like cardiac damage, viral persistance, and immune system dysfunction- continue to build up. (The billionaires, of course, will not).

Down the other road, we quite simply treat ourselves the way Davos would. We engage with what the science is telling us and we build a safer, better world for our kids. We embrace the lessons this pandemic is teaching us, and let go of things we now know are harming people. We stop clinging desperately to the idea that 2019 will come back if we just get the virus one more time, and we come together to achieve what we’ve been told is impossible: elimination.

The economic elite thrive on our divisiveness and blame casting. They don’t mind that we’re calling each other names, engaging in racial stereotyping, or leaving disabled people to die, so long as we keep their machine running. But we can choose to stop throwing blame at each other, and direct it where it belongs: at the powerful people who’ve left us to suffer, at the politicians who are whipping people into a frenzy over masks instead of over our millions of dead, at the talking heads on TV that work so hard to convince us: you want to get sick. It’s better than being a *weirdo* or a *hold out*.

We needn’t wait 43 years to redirect our energies. France and Belgium have already introduced new air quality standards, and DIY projects to build Corsi-Rosenthal boxes for schools and healthcare settings have popped up around the country. We have the science, we have the technology. All we need now is the political will and the solidarity to truly end the pandemic- the kind of solidarity the super rich always show with one another.

The billionaires at Davos don’t accept continual Covid reinfection. They demand better. It’s time we demand better too.

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - Gangsters Win

Organized, in each category, by ones I'm enjoying most at the top. Delayed October reviews included this week! (Still traveling but now in home territory and familiar hotels.)

Nov 2023 Wk 2

Ongoing Series - Thai

My Dear Gangster Oppa (Thurs iQIYI) 2 of 8 - GIVING ME LIFE. How dare they be this… this... Just. How dare!

Twins the series (Fri GaGa) ep 1 of 10 - I have been waiting for another truly sports centered BL since HIStory 2: CTL. This is nowhere near as good, but I don’t care. It’s great pulp and Sprite is a fab central character. I've realized that I love the pulps most when they’re ridiculously soapy (identical twins identity trope for sport’s fuck’s sake) but ERNEST about it (not campy). This one is taking itself seriously and it's so cute that it's trying so hard. Good little pulp. Dee mar.

Dangerous Romance (Fri YT) ep 12fin - was it me or did this show kinda flag on you too?

Poor, struggling Sailom is forced to tutor his bully, Kang, and they fall for each other despite circumstances. I loved it for the first 4 eps, liked it for the middle 4, and then kinda lost interest. I think it's because the focus shifted from Sailom to Kang, and I just find a disenfranchised character more interesting than the poor little rich kid archetype. Ultimately the script waffled and failed these actors - the leads and sides were solid, and support cast on point. 8/10 pretty standard 2023 GMMTV fair

Absolute Zero (Thai Weds iQIYI) ep 6 of 12 - It’s sort of a paradox of emotions not just time. It remains sad and I remain wary. 

My Universe (Sun iQIYI) The Camp Fire ep 11 of 24 - Launched with an argument over rude pronouns and mistaken identity. Highlights the joy of camping. Ugh. I don't think this one is for me despite the pair.

Venus in the Sky (Tues iQIYI) ep 10fin - NO SINGING. I can't believe they brought in rando SIDEs just to sing! WHHHHYYYYY? Sigh.

An indifferent pulp with indifferent acting and poor chemistry (despite high heat) based on the reunion romance trope that was just... so... slow... It wasn’t entirely a waste of time but I can’t in good faith recommend it. unless you have a very high tolerance for Thai pulps and ultra tsundere characters. 5/10 ONLY WATCH IF YOU'VE NOTHING BETTER TO DO

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Kiseki: Dear to Me (Taiwan Tues Viki & iQIYI) ep 12 of 13 - I don’t mean to be rude because you know I love the main couple in the show, but they are simply being out acted by the sides. They are so damn good. Ai Di and his dumb oversized sweaters and flappy flappy sleeves is EVERYTHING.

Bump Up Business (Korea Gaga) 5-6 of 8 - More language negotiation, so of course I like it. I also like that they openly let Eden admit to a crush on a boy. I like this whole thing way more than I should. Save me from myself?

You Are Mine (Taiwan Fri Viki) eps 9 of 10 - I don’t understand why baby boy is trying to escape so badly. (Except for plot reasons.) Running of the gays! Look at you Taiwan stealing Japan’s favorite trope. This show is fun but it’s a bag of tropes held together with some very thin fraying mesh plot. 

If It’s With You AKA Even If I Fall In Love With You AKA Kimi to nara Koi wo Shite Mite mo’ (Japan Gaga) ep 5fin - The leads are so painfully cute portraying a softly simple story of teen first love. This was a nice little piece with an early yaoi feel that come off as brief, as if it were meant to be a short story that had been extended into a series. Sweet but ultimately rather forgettable. 7/10  

Mr Cinderella 2 (Vietnam Sat YT) ep 6-7 of ? - yeah I forgot to watch again, I may be dnfing this by accident.

It's Airing But...

I Cannot Reach You AKA I Can't Reach You AKA Kimi ni wa Todokanai (Japan Tues Netflix-Japan & ????) - in classic JBL fashion, I Cannot Reach You could not be reached. It looks good though so I mgiht put some effort into finding it grey.

Look at Japan dropping all the tropes in on scene: rooftop, kabedon, hand hold.

SHADOW (Thai Gaga) 1-7 of 14 - this is a horror BL with ghosts & paranormal elements in a boarding school setting. I'm not wild about Thai horror (or horror at all). It features Singto (who did paranormal BL He's Coming to Me) opposite Fluke N (who's done a couple horror's before). Also Fiat. Dan suffers from sleep paralysis, and in his dreams he sees a shadow that suffocates him. It gets worse when he transfers schools. I'm holding off on this one and if told it's good I'll binge watch.

What Did You Eat Yesterday Season 2 AKA Kinou Nani Tabeta? Season 2 (Japan Gaga) ep 1 of 10 - I find this series more fun to binge, so I'm waiting until it completes its run.

One Room Angel (Japan Gaga) - adaptation of Harada’s manga of the same name (which I did not like) about a convenience store clerk who's stabbed, nearly dies, and returns home to find an angel waiting for him. With only 5 eps and a good chance this won’t end happy, I'm gonna wait and let you tell me how it goes.

Can I Buy Your Love From A Vending Machine? AKA Sono Koi, Jihanki de Kaemasu ka? (Japan cinema release in-country only) - This one is a movie from Japan so in customary fashion who tf knows when (or if) it will get international distribution. Salaryman Ayumu Koiwai just can't tear his eyes away from the strong, muscular man as he checks on the stocks of the vending machine in his office. I did some hunting but only found the manga, so I'm marking it cnf and moving on with life. This will be its last appearance on the weekly update.

I Finished It!

Love in Translation (iQIYI) ep 8 - solid ending, man these two are a great pairing.

A sweet little pulp about a Thai boy with a crush on a Chinese influencer who ends up in a business relationship with her ex-bf. This show had truly great chemistry between the leads, cute found family with good rep, and an exciting (if silly) ending that almost, but didn't quite, make up for how incredibly annoying the main character was in the first half. Gotta say the make-out scene in the convenience store is one of the greatest in Thai BL, tho. 6/10 DEF WORTH WATCHING BUT FLAWED

I Feel You Linger in the Air (grey) ep 8 of 12 - so that was A THING. I did a seriously extensive deep dive analysis, historical & linguistic extras, and review here.

I truly loved this time travel romance. IFYLITA is an exquisite BL, from filming techniques to narrative framework (much like Until We Meet Again). Steeped in history and family drama it edges into lakorn (but no as much as To Sir With Love and with way less scenery chewing). This is an elegant and classy BL… from Thailand which normally doesn't even try for classy. The main couple (both as a pair and individuals) were excellent, particularly Bright (Yai) whose eye-work acting style is a personal favorite of mine. Pity about the ending. Oh it wasn’t that sad but it wasn’t good either. This show should easily have earned a 10 from me except that it fumbled the… erm… balls. Argh. Whatever. 9/10

Only Friends (YT) ep 11-12 - What can I say, this wasn't my thing, it was never gonna be, and I didn't like it. Basically Thailand did the L-Word but with branded BL pairs and the only agenda seemed to be slut shaming and making sure those pairs stayed healthy and sponsor ready. Consequently, the pairs were all executing well and to the best of their ability (of course) but all other characters got shafted, both in the good and the worst possible ways. Unrated but if falls somewhere between 5 (hot mess) and 3 (what am I doing with my life?)

Next Week Looks Like This

11/10 Middleman’s Love (Thai Fri Mandee's YT & iQIYI 1 of 8? - TutorYim (brand pair origin = Cutie Pie) with side couple KingUea (Bed Friends) from Domundi trailer here. This used to be a JimmyTommy vehicle before the pair split (also prev title Middle Love). Adapted from a Y-novel. Jade works as a graphic designer and has always been stuck in the middle - average. His heart is hardened after a life spent being overlooked because he is not as charming or good looking as the rest of his family or friends. When his office gets a hot new intern, Mai, Jade assumes Mai couldn’t possibly be intersted in him. Mai, of course, has other ideas. Warning this is a Cheewin comedy so tonally it could be very OFF, but the cast is solid, and I have liked his stuff on occasion.

11/10 Last Twilight (Thai Fri YouTube) - JimmySea are bakc and maybe it's good this time? I dont' know, GMMTV isn't doing great right now. Burdened with heavy debt, Mork, a mechanic, is forced to take a high paying job as a caretaker for Day, a rich heir who suffers from partial blindness after an accident. Day recruits Mork as he realizes the latter does not see him as a disabled person, but rather as co-equals. As they spend time together, the two begin developing feelings for the other. However with Day just having 180 days until he becomes permanently blind, how will the two weather the trials ahead?Upcoming November BL

11/11 Beyond The Star (Weds iQIYI) qp 1 of 8 - Looks like House of Stars meets Boyband. I am not excited.

Upcoming in November

11/16 PLAYBOYY (Thurs ????) ?? eps - trailer here, high heat and it's helmed by Cheewin (shudder) with screenplay by Den (Only Friends) under Copy A Bangkok. It's gonna be a shizz show people. It's predicting Thai style "dark" (War of Y) one of my least favorites. Apparently there is a "plot" but when has Cheewin ever bothered with plot? A university kid who was involved with escorts, sex-trade, porn, online hook-ups, drugs, prostitution, blackmail, revenge, and so forth goes missing. His twin (sigh) and two friends look for him.

11/17 Pit Babe (Fri iQIYI) ep 1 of 14 - high heat teaser here, based on alittlebixth's omegaverse novel #พิษเบ๊บ’ set in the world of car racing (author says show will not be omegaverse). Charlie (fresh face), a young hot nerd, approaches his driver idol (Pavel "my love" 2 Moons 2) to borrow a racing car and win one for the team. Production house is new to BL but behind the Club Friday stuff. Show stars many known actors: Nut (Oxygen), Pop (Ram in La Cuisine), Pon (Phai in Gen Y, we LOVE him), Benz (twins in En of Love: This Is Love Story).

11/19 Bake Me Please (Sun Gaga) ep 1 of 6 - trailer here, stars Ohm (of OhmFluke) opposite Guide (bestie from IFYLITA) and possibly also Poom (well known, but not for BL). This looks like an actually gay version of Antique Bakery (play it again, BL). Still, I'm intrigued, it looks HELLA pretty.

11/22 7 Days Before Valentine (Weds ????) ep 1 of 10 - trailer here, horror-esk. Adapted from y-novel of the same name, directed by Tu (180 Degree) stars Jet (Why You… Y Me?). When you want your old love again, but fate sends you a reaper instead. All he can do for you is kill people. I'll likely give this a pass and wait to binge later. I'm planning to try SHADOW and I can only handle one Thai horror at a time.

11/25 The Sign (Sat ????) ep 1 of 10 - trailer here, horror-esk, but with a suspense and adult characters. Special investigators who loved each other in previous lives reunite with their new bodies, stars Billy Patchanon (BillySeng) & Babe Tanatat (new). Includes other SCOY favorites as a special investigation team. I may give this a try because I like the non-horror bits.

11/26 The Whisperer (Sun ????) 1 of 10 - trailer here. Thai horror BL that ALSO involves cheating (what joy is mine). He has dimples (My Ride) but I don't think even that gives me the will. Maybe a binge for me.

11/26 Cooking Crush (Sun YT) 1 of 12 - OffGun are back, trailer here. Adapted from the novel “Love Course! เสื้อกาวน์รุกเสื้อกุ๊กรับ” by iJune4S this is about Prem who runs a not-so-popular restaurant with 2 friends. About to go on a cooking competition with a huge reward, Prem gets involved with Ten, a stressed-out med student who wants Prem to teach him to cook.

11/30 For Him (Thurs ????) ep 1 of 10 - high heat trailer, I suspect iQIYI will scoop this one up. From the people who brought us Unforgotten Night (please no) based on a y-novel, man nursing a heartbreak has a one-night stand, but the other boy didn't want it to end. It looks terribly trashy so I'm in! Maybe I'll do a trash watch?

VIP Only (Taiwan) - may be delayed/canceled

Wuju Bakery AKA Space Bakery (Korea) - this one may be DOA

A Breeze of Love (Korea) - I know less than nothing about this.

Nov 2023 line up with screen caps here. Not kept updated.

Original 2023 forthcoming BL master post (see comments, some are inaccurate, NOT KEPT UPDATED).

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

Yang's little smile! Argh. (Love in Translation)

This is our mean and grumpy gagster character talking about playing in game support roles. It's fucking adorable. Such a nasty criminal. (My Dear Gangster Oppa)

(Last week)

[valeriianz]

Hob doesn’t know why he agreed to go out on New Year’s Eve. The bar is packed shoulder-to-shoulder, it’s impossible to get a drink, and Hob keeps losing his friend group.

Despite feeling turned around, ears straining for the sound of someone calling his name, he’s determined to at least get one drink before the end of the night, pushing past strangers with ridiculous sunglasses– indoors– and 2023 hats. He’s waiting patiently behind a group of women, getting a loud whiff of their perfume as they spin around and yell past him, asking what their friends want to drink.

“I’m not going to survive this,” Hob says to himself, trying to catch one of the bartender’s attention.

“Nor will I.” A deep, dark voice speaks just next to him.

Hob looks over and nearly swallows his own tongue. A tall man, dressed in all black, is staring back at him, his eyes reflecting the flashing lights in the otherwise dark room. His skin is pale, from what Hob can see, down his long neck and incredibly sharp jawline.

“Oh?” Hob affects his best smile, sure it looks just as manic as he’s feeling, suddenly. “Your friends drag you out to watch the ball drop, too?”

Hob sees the gorgeous man chuckle, but doesn’t hear it. Only guesses by the way his lips part and his eyes shine.

“Yes, actually,” he leans over to speak properly in Hob’s ear, instead of continuing to shout over the music and sea of voices. “And I would love to ditch them.”

His breath hits Hob’s ear like a caress, soft and warm, causing the hairs on the back of his neck to stand on end. 

“That’s not very nice,” Hob says, turning to also speak against the stranger’s ear, his nose brushing the shell of it, grinning to himself.

The man turns again, and Hob tilts his head with it, giving him his ear once more to speak in. The stranger’s shaggy dark hair brushes his cheek and Hob feels his legs wobble. He doesn’t know if it’s the energy in the room, their involuntary closeness, or how Hob can smell his skin, like the early morning air after a rainstorm, like the salty spray of the sea, but he is positively buzzing like a live wire from it.

Especially as those lips, a blush of pink against marble white skin, brush against his earlobe, his rich voice rumbling and nearly making Hob vibrate.

“I’m not a nice man.”

Hob swallows, his heart deciding then to try out for a marathon and running laps along his rib cage. He peeks sideways and finds incredibly blue eyes staring back at him.

He doesn’t know what to say. But the instant attraction between them lights Hob up. He’s not one for picking up strangers in bars, at least not since he was in college, but on the busiest night of the year? In New York City? Crammed in a room with probably a hundred people over legal capacity? Yeah, Hob could bend a little. He could bend a lot for Mr. Dark and Mysterious.

“Why would you say that?”

Hob watches the man’s lips twitch into a tiny smirk, and it only makes Hob’s smile grow. He’d forgotten how much fun it was to flirt with a complete stranger.

“I’ve been watching you for a while,” he murmurs against Hob’s ear, nearly making his eyes flutter shut. “I was going to offer to buy you a drink… unless you’d like to escape with me.”

“That’s very tempting…” Hob feels his insides twist pleasantly at the look the man gives him.

“You’re very tempting.”

Fuck, who was this guy?

They’re staring at each other, allowing people to brush past them, losing their spot by the bar, but Hob doesn’t notice. Doesn’t even feel the crowd around him anymore. Only finding himself lost in a sea of blue, with pupils dilated so wide in the darkened room, Hob almost feels like he’s falling into an abyss. Maybe he is. Maybe this guy is a siren out of water, coming here specifically to drag Hob down, to test his resolve. 

And Hob would gladly go, would happily follow him. He’s just opened his mouth, about to ask this stranger’s name, when he feels a sharp tug at his arm.

“There you are, Hobsie!” One of his friends– Hob can’t be bothered to remember which one, is pulling him backwards. “Forget the drinks, we gotta get down into the square now if we’re to beat the crowds!” 

The connection is broken. Hob’s jaw works uselessly, trying to protest, trying to call out, but his feet stumble along, allowing himself to be yanked back into the crowd. His eyes sweep above the dozens of heads and finds his stranger’s gaze one last time, staring at him with a mix of frustration and longing, and Hob feels regret screaming through his veins.

—-----------

The crowd outside is a hundred times worse, thousands of people in the street, streamers and balloons polluting the sky, but at least the air is clean and the lights are bright, giving the illusion of daytime, rather than minutes to midnight.

Hob doesn’t even pretend to pay attention, no longer indulging his friends but scanning the crowd instead, hopelessly looking for a mop of inky black hair and translucent skin that could reflect the artificial lights of the neon signs around them. He’s been out here for hours now, the layers of sweater, coat, boots and beanie doing nothing now to ward off the chill that begins to penetrate his bones.

A hopelessness washes over Hob, making him sigh deeply, knocking his head back to stare at the starless black sky. If two people were to ever meet twice on the same night, in Times Square, it’d be pure luck… or divine intervention.

He looks forward again, at the sparkly ball that seems miles away, so much smaller in person, hung high in the air. Hob’s eyes drift once more along the sea of hats and children perched on shoulders, the screams and shouts of excitement as the minutes tick down to midnight.

Then he sees him. Or, Hob thinks it’s him. A single dark head, hair sticking up, one of the few in the massive crowd without a hat on. Hob holds his breath, eyes narrowed in on that ink blot, waiting for some kind of confirmation, his memory of the stranger already quickly fading from his brain, the sensory deprivation of the packed bar messing with his recollection.

Hob gasps as the head turns, revealing a profile that has his heart skip. Sharp nose, small lips, long eyelashes that Hob can somehow see from here. 

Without thinking, Hob dives into the crowd, abandoning his friends who shout after him.

“Wait, where are you going!”

Hob pushes past the impenetrable wall of people, grunting as he went and keeping his eyes focused on his stranger, feeling crazy. Feeling absolutely insane for doing this. Parents yell at him and drunken party people try to catch Hob but he persists, stumbling and not even saying ‘excuse me’ or apologizing for the feet he’s stepping on.

“Fuck,” Hob grouses. It barely feels like he’s made progress, especially as an announcement rings out that there is only 60 seconds til midnight, and everyone is cheering and taking out their phones as the ball begins its slow descent.

People have already begun chanting at the 50 second mark, and Hob’s brain is scrambling. He’s catching up to the man from the bar, his back still turned to Hob and– he has a brief, worrying thought that he might be mistaken. That this isn’t the strange, gorgeous man who’d found him in that overloaded room. 

Forty seconds and Hob feels sweat trailing down his neck, closing in on a black coat with the collar turned up, hiding the pale column of his neck.

Thirty seconds and Hob inhales deeply as he’s finally found himself directly behind a shadow made real, an outline filled in with black paint. Hob reaches out, grabbing him by the elbow.

“Hey!”

Hob holds his breath as the man turns, and feels his face light up as the stranger from the bar sets his eyes upon him once more. His expression goes from deeply annoyed to genuine shock, his brows shooting up into his hairline and his lips parting comically.

Hob feels like laughing. The stranger’s eyes are so much more expressive, out here where the lights are bright enough to read by. 

Luck, or divine intervention. Hob feels a thrill rush though his body at the way the man studies him, like he never thought he’d see Hob again. And, well, that’d make two of them.

Ten seconds, and everyone around them is shouting the countdown.

The man’s lips move, speaking, but Hob can’t hear him.

“What?!”

With a small grin he moves in closer, like in the bar, lips brushing Hob’s ear.

“I said ‘holy shit’.”

Hob laughs. “Does your offer still stand?”

The man pulls back, nearly nose-to-nose with Hob as the people around them chant the final five seconds.

As an answer, Hob feels cold hands surround his face, thumbs swiping under his eyes as long, bony fingers slip into his hair, under his beanie, knocking it askew. Hob feels his breath stolen away as the man crowds further into his space, and all Hob can do in response is raise his own arms, wrapping them around the man’s middle, firmer than he’d guessed, and pulling him flush against him.

They don’t even make it to one before Hob’s eyes slip shut and he feels warm, chapped lips collide against his own.

The explosion of streamers and cries of “Happy New Year!” reflect the way fireworks shoot off inside of Hob, his body lighting up from the inside as thin lips move against his own, pressing hard and insistent.

Hob’s lips part as he feels the man’s tongue swipe along the seam, tearing a moan from his throat and pulling him impossibly closer. Hob works his jaw to keep up with the man’s vigorous kissing, nearly letting it overcome him, almost wanting him to. The man kisses Hob like they aren’t surrounded by a mass of people, bodies still pushing and pulling them, rocking the pair back and forth, holding onto each other like a lifeline. He kisses Hob like he’ll never see him again, and maybe they won’t. Maybe this is a chance meeting, maybe they should make this last, and fuck Hob– he was in so much trouble.

He feels his lungs begin to burn, the man’s hands on his face, in his hair, igniting him in the best of ways, but he’s starting to get dizzy. He whines a protest, but doesn’t pull back, doesn’t think he can, with the possessive way the stranger has him locked in his embrace.

But finally, the man breaks away, allowing Hob to take a deep gulp of air, before he’s going back in, making Hob groan, especially as his hands move again, gripping his hair and attacking his mouth with renewed vigor.

Fuck, Hob was absolutely fucked.

His own hands move, slipping up the man’s chest, his neck, and getting a handful of his hair as well, pulling hard and forcing a choked off, salacious noise to erupt from the stranger’s lips. Hob’s managed to remove the assault on his mouth, panting roughly, and shuddering at the dark way those blue eyes are staring at Hob, challenging and completely turned on. 

They take a moment to breathe, Hob’s hand still in dark hair, soft as silk, while his stranger’s hands have moved to his shoulders, waiting.

Hob loosens his hold and the man leans back in, brushing their noses and breathing each other’s air.

“What’s your name?” Hob asks, breathless and his nerves singing. The noise of people are louder than ever around them, but Hob knows the man hears him, and is hyper focused on him as well, ears straining for the answer.

“Dream,” comes the most erotic response Hob has ever heard in his life. “Yours?”

“Hob.”

Dream smiles, gorgeous, evocative, stunning Hob further.

“Hob,” Dream repeats, licking his lips. Hob feels all his blood rush south, his gaze instantly transfixed to the sight, which only makes Dream’s smile transform into a smirk.

“It’s nice to officially meet.”

Hob laughs, but it sounds broken, desperate.

“Likewise.”

[strangerthingsstuff4]

A Story of Another Us- Chapter Seven

Warnings- Swearing, mentions of sick animals, masturbation and perving (kinda), LOOOOTTTTSSS of sexual tension

It was like be a child all over again, falling asleep somewhere and waking up in her own bed, although it was usually the security guard of the club her mother worked at that was carrying her up to the little fold out bed that was set up for her in the dressing rooms. Unless Dwayne now worked on Dragon Stone Ranch then Dahlia woke up with no idea how she had gotten into bed. It wasn’t until midday that she managed to find out.

Alicent had whisked Aegon off with her to some meeting with a media company to get the farm some more recognition and funding, leaving Dahlia and Aemond to tend to all of the animals on the farm. The mud was sloppy beneath her wellies as she trudged over the open field towards the metal ring feeder that Aemond was fighting to close as the cows herded around him eating greedily.

‘Just wait a second you fat prick’ she heard Aemond grumble as he was nudged and nipped.

‘Looks like you’re having fun’ Dahlia teased as she pushed her way through the large heifers and helped him close the metal frame around the bale of hay.

Aemond only offered her a stare of discontent before pushing his way through to continue with his jobs.

‘Do you know how I got to bed last night? I can’t remember if I woke up to go up or not’ Dahlia blushed lightly at the idea of having fallen asleep in front of everyone.

‘Yeah, I er… I took you up… you were out cold’ Aemond chuckled gently while scrubbing the cattle’s grooming brushed against each other.

Dahlia’s face now burnt hot! He had carried her up to bed! She could have been snoring! What if he thought she was heavy?! What if she had drooled on him?! Never having wanted the floor to swallow her up more, she offered him a nervous smile.

‘Oh thank you! You should have just woken me up!’

‘I tried but you couldn’t hear me over your snoring, you might wanna get that checked out’ Aemond teased, forcing himself to keep his face straight while he looked at her.

‘Oh god’ Dahlia cringed.

‘I’m joking! You were fast asleep and I didn’t wanna disturb you’ Aemond grinned, proud at the annoyed look that was painted across her face.

‘You’re such a dick’ she grumbled back at him with a growing grin on her face.

The light breeze that washed over them carried a few birds songs from the shrubbery that surrounded the farm, and the gently hum of traffic from the nearby carriageway. It also held the raw scent of Aemond, the rich leather aroma weaving it’s way through Dahlia’s senses and almost making her head swirl. Gods he smelt good, even standing in a field of cattle and their droppings all she could smell was him.

‘Is there anything I can do to help?’ she asked eagerly, before she started salivating.

‘You could brush that annoying fuck for me, she wouldn’t stop walking away from me’ Aemond grumbled pointing to one of the brown heifer twins that tenanted their farm and passing her the brushing paddle that he had shoved in one of the pockets of his cargo pants.

‘You’re ridiculous!’ she laughed as she began gently grooming the animal as it feasted.

Aemond stopped attempting to put an antiseptic cream of the piercing wound of the cow Dahlia had treated a few weeks back, to give her an expectant look.

‘These are some of the gentlest , most beautiful caring animals you will find in this kind of job! You act as though they were hideous evil beasts!’

‘They’re lazy, they do nothing but eat and shit and they stink!’ he states back to her in a very matter of fact tone.

‘They do not! they are amazing animals you’re just a grumpus’ Dahlia grumbled, ignoring the raised eyebrow he offered her at her curious choice of insult. 

‘I’ll agree that they taste great but that’s as far as it goes’

‘Aemond!’ Dahlia gasped, quickly grabbing the ears of the cow she was grooming.

‘Oh don’t cover its ears!’ he laughed at her.

‘They just don’t have the same personality that horses do, there’s no intellect in them they’re… blank’ he explains.

‘There’s actually been studies done proving them to be quite intelligent, there was an experiment done where a cow followed sound through a maze to find a food source showing they have the ability to make decisions and they can hold a grudge so I’d mind your tongue around these lovely ladies’ Dahlia grinned at him as he shook his head at her.

The pair finished their duties with the cattle and allowed Vhagar to herd them back into their open field where they pastured. Aemond and Dahlia tidied the barn back to an acceptable standard before heading back towards the road to head home.

‘How can they hold a grudge? What to they have to be… grudgy about?!’ Aemond asked Dahlia curiously as both of their wellies squelched through the wet soggy mud.

‘Lots of things, if another cow threatens them or their calf. If a bull were to take a liking to another cow over them. If a human was threatening or abusive to them they have extremely advanced social skills’ she grins up at him as she notices their steps fall into stride with each other.

It happened so quickly to quick for her to do anything about it. As Aemond opened his mouth to make yet another comment, the ground beneath his feet turned into a slip and slide. The wet mud did little to soften his fall as his long legs flew up almost as high as his stomach and he crumbled to the floor. Landing on his back with a discomforting wet slap he groaned from the sheer contact of his body meeting the floor. Dahlia couldn’t help the gasp that left her mouth as she looked at him wincing on the floor. It only took a second of his looking up at her from the floor, mud flecked over his face and in his platinum hair, before she burst out laughing.

Dahlia held her stomach as her eyes watered and she continued to howl out laughter. The look on his face as he hit the floor would be imprinted in her brain forever. Her laughter died off the second she felt the warmth of his big hand wrapping around her ankle through her wellie, she could barely let out a small plea before she followed his tracks through the air and landed almost right on top of him. The left side of her chest pressed flush against his while the other lay absorbing the moisture from the damp floor. They both groaned in pain as her body collided with his on the floor, her ginger hair now having been dunked on the mud looking similar to his own.

‘Oh you’re such a prick’ she grumbled at him as her body wracked with a dull ache.

‘That’s what you get for laughing at me you bitch’ Aemond chuckled gruffly, placing his hands against her hips to try and deter her from moving her knee any higher into his crotch.

Dahlia released a breathy laugh as she leant up enough to look down at him lay underneath her. His purple eyes glimmered as he looked up at her with shaded eyes, having given in to the strain in his neck and letting his head sit in the wet mud beneath him. Even with the dirt spattered across his face he was still by far the most beautiful man she had ever seen, His pale skin seemed to sparkle even on the dullest day, almost like he was a marble statue standing on a pedestal in the famous museum that contained precious artifacts of old Valyria.

The flick of his amethyst iris’ shooting down to her parted lips pulled Dahlia from her admiration of him. She watches his eyes scan over her lips, looking at them unphased by the shift in her breathing or the way her body had tense against him. Her hands curling into themselves gripping at his chest, Dahlia took a deep breath in feeling Aemond’s hands tighten their hold on her hips ever so slightly, his fingertips burns holes into her being that would be perfectly fit for him. Her mind hazed over and she didn’t allow herself to think about what she was doing, didn’t let herself think about how it was her best friends brother that lay beneath her, whose nose she brushed with her own, whose breath fanned over her face.

The popping of heavy tires rolling over the gravel drive tore the two of them out of their bubble and back into the world around them, their attention being driven to the vehicle approaching the turn in to the farm. Dahlia, having looked over her shoulder, turned back to look at Aemond, him having lifted his head off the mud to inspect the interruption. Not sure whether the air between them was now heavy with tension, Dahlia scanned over his features looking for any give. Relieved to see the gentle amused smile he offered her she chuckled back gently before climbing to her feet, offering him a hand to aid him in his ascent.

‘You have a bit of mud in your hair’ Dahlia teased as they continued their walk.

‘Dickhead’ Aemond grinned shaking his head as he watched his feet carefully move through the slippery earth.

Once reaching the stables Aemond offered a small wave and the promise of ‘seeing her later’ before he joined a tall figure of a man waiting for him at the entrance of the building. With a messy attempt of platting her hair to get the mud out of the way, Dahlia continued on with her chores. The sheep were fed and watered before she moved on to filling the chickens grandpa feeders, she stood pouring the grain from her bucket into the metal stand when she caught movement on the other side of the farm. Aemond appeared from the Stables with the exotic figure that had ripped them from their almost intimate moment. A distressed look graced Aemond’s face as he rubbed his hand over her filthy head of hair. Catching his attention as she walked to the mesh fence of the chickens enclosure Aemond trudged his way over, meeting her at the fence.

‘You okay?’ Dahlia asked concerned.

‘Erm Balerions… Cole found a lump on his stomach, could just be a cyst but… could be something worse’

‘Oh my god’

‘He’s gonna take him for a scan and take some bloods…mum’s gonna be crushed’ Aemond grumbled, leaning his elbows on the fence and burying his face into his hands.

‘Is he your mum’s horse?’ Dahlia questioned softly, watching Criston Cole drive his trailer down towards the stables.

‘No he was my dads, last thing she has of him not that she ever really bothers with him. There was a whole bunch of drama when dad passed over who was going to keep him us or my sister, mum fought tooth and nail to keep him here’ Aemond sighed, looking up at her where she stood straight in front of his hunched over form.

‘Well hopefully it won’t be anything too serious’ Dahlia offered him a comforting smile, squeezing his arm gently.

‘Do you need me to do anything?’

‘No I’m just gonna help get him in the trailer’

‘Well I’m gonna go take a shower and stuff but if you need me for anything just give me a shout okay?’ she smiled at him, exiting the chicken coop and beginning up the hill to the house.

Aemond agreed with a small nod and watched her stroll up the grass, her hips swinging gracefully, mesmerizing him even if she was covered in mud.

Dahlia had managed to dodge questions hurled at her by Haelena over why her fathers horse was being taken off the farm, feeling it best to leave that topic for Aemond to explain. Her hot shower worked wonders getting the dirt out of her hair and off her hands and face but it did little to wash away the memory of being lay on top of his hard toned body, his breath fanning over her face from being so close, still sweet from the candied oranges Haelena had offered everyone for breakfast.

Opting for her gym leggings and an oversized jumper Dahlia returned downstairs to assist in the making of dinner, Baela had suggested making a pasta bake as something easy to get the family through the heavy news that Aemond had just delivered to his mother. She watched through the kitchen door as Aemond sat comforting a weeping Alicent.

‘So what’s going on with you two?’ Baela questioned, pulling her gaze from the sorrowful family.

‘What?’ Dahlia asked confused with expecting looks she was receiving from Jace, Luke and Rhaena, who had been instructed to set the table.

‘You and Aemond?’ Baela pressed

‘What about us?’ she continued playing innocent.

‘Come on! It’s so obvious that there’s… heat between you guys, I saw the look last night!’ Baela grinned while continuing to dish up the pasta bake evenly onto plates.

Dahlia scoffed in disbelief, like the very idea of her having sexual tension with what she believed to be one of the most attractive men she had ever met was unthinkable.

‘Oh look she’s blushing’ Luke teased

‘There is nothing between me and Aemond! We’re just friends!’ Dahlia attempted to defend herself.

‘Oh right friends… didn’t you guys hate each other like two days ago?!’ Rhaena joined in.

‘Who hated who two days ago?’ Aegon questioned joining them in the kitchen, along with a teary Alicent and Haelena and an exhausted Aemond.

‘Dahlia and Aem-‘ Rhaena started blurting out before Jace clamped his hand over her mouth and Baela yelled over her.

‘DINNERS READY!’

Everyone seated themselves and tucked into their dinner, eating mainly in silence other than the short conversations that Aegon attempted to break the heavy silence. Alicent didn’t stay for post dinner conversation, vacating the kitchen as soon as she had eaten her fill. Aegon retreated to his room not long after to avoid having to help clean up.

Aemond retreated out to the bench that sat just outside of the sliding kitchen doors, slumping down onto the wooden seat and letting out the breath he felt he had been holding in all night. His head was pounding and his back was hurting from the tumble and he just wanted to sleep but the grey clouds looming over head made him aware that his jobs for the day were likely not finished.  

His eye focused on the stables just down the hill, the building that should be housing the big stallion, he sat just staring out over the land, feeling his chest get tight at the unpredictability of the test results. How was he supposed to wait two days to find out?! The rain began to patter against the ground lightly, granting him a soothing white noise while he sat out on his own.

The doors slid open after a half hour and interrupted his serenity with the chatter and radio music pouring out of the kitchen.

‘Hey, you okay?’ Dahlia asked gently, sliding the doors shut behind her.

‘Yeah, just getting a bit loud in there and my heads booming’ He smiled, trying to playoff the severity of the pain resonating behind his eye.

Dahlia didn’t say a thing before disappearing back inside, leaving the doors open behind her. Aemond sat watching the space that she had just vacated before she returned with a glass of water and a box on pain killers. She nudged his leg with her knee prompting to slide over and allow to sit next to him.

‘Here’ she mumbled handing him the glass and tablets.

‘Thank you’ Aemond grimaced after throwing them in his mouth and gulping the water down.

He leant back in his seat and huffed, nibbling on the dry skin on his lip and watching the rain that continued at a relenting pace.

‘Is there anything I can do?’ Dahlia asked, hoping to be able to relieve some of the pressure he was so obviously feeling.

‘Not really, just got to wait for the test results and go from there… I just have no idea what’s gonna happen if it comes back as something worse than a cyst’ he grumbled rolling his head back onto his shoulder, his long silver hair now clean and tied loosely in a messy bun at the base of his neck.

‘This isn’t your fault you know’ she said abruptly, meeting his eye when it shot to her.

‘You’re obviously blaming yourself but you couldn’t have known’

‘Bullshit, I was the one that was supposed to be looking after him, I was the one that mum trusted to take care of him and I’ve missed a lump the size of a golf ball!’

‘Anyone could have missed it! Besides if he was in pain or feeling off he would have let you know and you know he would have, there isn’t anything you could have done differently’

‘Cole found it!’ he argued, standing up and leaning forward against the small wooden fence opposite the bench.

‘I should have been checking him properly instead of just running over him with a brush, I should’ve paid more attention, I should’ve-‘

‘Aemond there is nothing you could have done, even if you had been the one to find it! He would still have to have the tests’ she retorted, sitting up straighter and examining all the curves of his back.

‘I just don’t think mum is gonna be able to deal with it if it’s bad news, she’s gonna be a wreck’ he mumbled.

‘Well then you’ve got Hel and Aegon to help you get her through it and you guys are stuck with me for another few weeks so’ Dahlia offered him a comforting smile as she stood to stand next to him.

‘That doesn’t make me feel better’ he chuckled lightly.

‘And here I was feeling bad for laughing at you falling before… look just don’t assume it’s going to be bad news, it could be nothing’.

Aemond inhaled deeply and straightened his back, making him tower over her small form. He dodged her eye contact for a moment, trying to let himself untense.

‘You’re right… it could be nothing I’m just… it’s been a shitty day’ he sighed.

‘Oh I don’t know, seeing you lying in the mud brightened my day up’ Dahlia smirked.

‘It’s a good thing you’re cute you know otherwise you’d be on your ass right now’ Aemond grinned, chuckling at her until he realised what had slipped out of his mouth.

Dahlia locked eyes with him and couldn’t help the blush that crept up her neck, her face growing hotter by the second, she didn’t miss the same colour peaking through his porcelain skin. The eye contact between them became too heavy for her to uphold and she averted her gaze to her right, watching the rain fall grow alarmingly heavy as black clouds loomed overhead, promising a stormy night.

‘We should probably make sure all of the bales are covered’ Dahlia muttered, her heart pounding in her ears as her blood rushed through her body, he thought she as cute!

‘Yeah, I should probably check in on the horses’ Aemond stuttered back, not waiting for her to grab her coat or even grab his own before wandering out into the heavy downpour, shirt becoming saturated and clinging to his form almost instantly.

Dahlia couldn’t help the grin that slipped onto her face as his obvious discomfort, she liked that she had that effect on him. Adorning her raincoat and wellies, she padded her way down and off the farm with Aegon, assisting him in ensuring all of the animals in his care were okay and sheltered, making sure that their stock of Hay was wrapped or in a dry place away from the downpour.  

‘Malary!’ Haelena yelled at the duck waddling away from her, after having just nipped at her finger causing the woman to drop the bird allowing it to wander back to the puddle in which she had just collected it from.

‘I’ll usher her from this way you just get ready to open the door!’ Aegon yelled over the clashing of rain as he joined his sister in the small, fenced pen.

Watching her best friend chasing small birds through the pouring rain with her brother filled Dahlia’s chest with something she couldn’t quite pinpoint. It could have been envy, seeing Haelena have the family dynamic that she had dreamed of having since she was a child. It could have been joy from seeing her best friend so happy, loved the way she deserved or it could have been that she was feeling accepted as one of the family, that she was part of something that wasn’t toxic and set to destroy her.

Her attention was pulled away from the siblings by a loud clatter and an indistinct yell from inside the barn. Upon entering she found Aemond struggling to lead SunFyre into the same pen as Meleys. She let out a small chuckle at the sight of him soaked to the core, arguing with a horse and fighting with a wooden gate, all while trying not to get trampled by the panicking horse already in the enclosure.

‘Once you’re done laughing, would you mind helping me out?’ Aemond grumbled, seeing her in the doorway just watching him.

The rain hammering on the roof of the stables only made Meleys all the more nervous, Aemond allowed Dahlia to take control of SunFyre while he entered the pen first and did his best to calm the animal down. Once they had both horses inside, they began fitting their reins and tying them off onto the hitching post.

‘SunFyre is his calming buddy right?’ Dahlia asked while threading the leather rein through the loop she had created.

‘Well, it’s usually Balerion but Meleys seems to get on with SunFyre so he should be good’ Aemond answered from behind her.

The pair of them were wedged between the two horses, backs almost flush against each other while they secured the Palfreys. The more the horses stomped and wiggled about the more the pair were pressed into each other. She couldn’t feel his warmth or toned back through her raincoat but she could smell him, the intense scent of his aftershave mixed with the dampness of the down pour that had soaked through his shirt. Dahlia could barely concentrate on her hands while her brain was swimming in him.

‘Shit’ she whispered when her knot came undone almost instantly, SunFyre managed to stomp away from the rear wall slightly.

‘Here’ His voice rumbled down her ear as he turned his body in the small space to face SunFyre, his body pressing against hers, his arms coming around her and guiding her hands to tie a secure knot.

Dahlia’s mind was drowning, his breath fanning over her ear and neck, her ass cheeks fitting into the curve of his crotch perfectly, she felt like she was going to scream. Her entire body was on fire, delicious shivers running through her body leaving her with goosebumps. Once his long fingers were done guiding hers through the process of securing the horse, he retracted his left arm while the right patted down the smooth coat. Dahlia closed her eyes and took a deep breath, preparing to move herself out of the heated situation. She only got as far as turning slightly to walk away but was blocked by his arm that was still petting SunFyre, she could feel his eyes burning into her. Dahlia caved almost instantly and turned to face him. Her back now brushing against the soothing horse, her chest grazed over his with each breath they took, reluctantly her eyes lifted and found his looking right back at her, searching her eyes for any sign of reluctance or regret. She wasn’t sure if she wanted him to be able to see how much she was burning for him, how badly she wanted him to just grab her and take her right there, or if she should just act as though he had no effect on her, like he was just another guy, the same guy that she almost loathed a few days ago.

Dahlia didn’t have much time to decide before she felt Aemond’s left hand on her side, his big fingers splaying out across hip, pressing into her flesh through her clothing. The heat from his breath spread a tingling warmth across her cheeks as his head moved closer to her, Aemond didn’t break eye contact with her, not when her breath hitched or when her hand moved and pressed against his chest softly, gripping his shirt tightly. It wasn’t until he felt his nose brush against hers and smelt her hot sweet breath floating over him, did he move his eyes to look down at her lips. Dahlia’s eye lashes fluttered as she closed her eyes, the faintest brush of their lips setting her on fire. She waited, waited to feel his mouth envelope hers, to see what he tasted like and to feel that rush of finally getting to kiss him. She waited… and waited but it never came. What came instead what the sound of boots slapping through the rain and wet mud outside and then a voice, that pulled them straight from the steamy situation they had happily found themselves in.

‘Hello?! Can someone come and help me cover the plant beds? They’re flooding!’ Jace’s voice boomed off the walls of the stables over the rain.

Aemond closed his eyes and released gentle sigh, his fingers digging into hips a little as Dahlia pulled her head back and inhaled deeply.

‘Yeah I’ll be out now!’ she managed to choke out, her heart still pounding in her ears but still able to hear Jace walk away.

Aemond’s iridescent purple eyes scanned through hers, both of them still a little breathless. Dahlia broke the eye contact and looked down at her boots, swallowing heavily before ducking under his arm that was blocking her exit, leaving him stood there. She followed Jace out of the barn back into rain, she almost slipped in the wet mud as she jogged over to where Jace was struggling to get the dustsheet evenly over the plant beds.

She could still smell his breathe, his aftershave in her. Hells she could practically taste him! Dahlia’s head was swimming with pictures of kissing him, touching him and being consumed by him! She imagined his tongue would taste like chamomile tea and spiced apples. His bare chest would be hard but his pale skin would be warm under her hands, his hair would float through her fingers like silk and it would smell like the guava shampoo she assumed he used.

Aemond watched her walk away from the stables from his position leaning against the door, he loathed his nephew for pulling her out of his arms, almost as much as he loathed her raincoat from covering her behind. Pulling all of his strength together Aemond pulled himself back to securing his horses and padding out their stalls with extra straw.

She hadn’t said anything she had just walked out like they weren’t seconds away from kissing! This was the second time today they had been on the brink of falling of the edge of that cliff, where there was no coming back from that heat. Was she just trying to get into his head? Using her body to make him vulnerable before crushing his ego and humiliating him?! Aemond knew that was farfetched, she wasn’t the type of girl to demean herself like that just to embarrass him. Maybe it was the fact that he was her best friend’s younger brother, that she didn’t want to jeopardize her friendship with Haelena over what could potentially turn out to be just a fling. Or perhaps she was feeling just as frustrated and confused as he was, with all the fleeting touches and heavy breathing.

Whatever the reason was, he had made his way from the stables, through the rain and up the stairs towards her room. Either he could talk to her about what was happening and settle the air between them… or he could fuck her senseless. As Aemond padded his way up the last few of the stairs onto the third-floor landing, he took a deep breath, he needed to prepare himself no matter what the outcome was. The closer he got to her door the more his palms seemed to sweat, Aemond wasn’t used to getting shot down, granted he didn’t tend to ask people out but when he did the answer was very rarely a no.

Aemond lifted his hand to knock on her bedroom door, knuckles gliding through the air but coming to a dead stop before that rapped against the heavy oak of her door. The faint whimpers were muffled by the blocking door between them, the soft hum of Dahlia’s voice floating through his ears like music, it was almost pained. He would have burst into the room to ensure she was not hurt but after taking a step closer and holding his ear to the door he knew; she was not in any form of pain.

The hairs on his arm stood on end with the delicious shiver that ran through his body listening to her, she was pleasuring herself, at least he hoped she was by herself and didn’t have Aegon or someone in there with her. She moaned and gasped, clearly enjoying whatever depraved action she was inflicting on herself. Aemond knew he should walk away, stop listening in on her personal moment and give her some privacy but his feet remained planted to the carpet outside of her room. He was glued to the sound of her, the image her moans were painting in his mind made his heart race and his pants grow tighter. He had no intention of grabbing himself through his jeans but he couldn’t help himself, they had grown incredibly uncomfortable.

Her moans were like sweet music to his ears, sweet taboo music. He knew he could just twist that handle, walk into her room and take over for her but he just stood there and listened. He was not the type of person that did this kind of thing, he couldn’t even watch porn without feeling disgusting and foolish. He knew he needed to leave and he tried. Turning on his heel with a heavy sigh he took one step away from Dahlia’s door, hand still rubbing his hard cock through his pants. That one step was all he managed to take however before the irritating sound of Aegon’s awful singing voice sounded from the bottom of the staircase to the third-floor landing. Aemond was screwed, his brother now being halfway up the stairs he knew he wasn’t going to make it to the other end of the hallway without him or his raging erection being seen. His only escape was to slide into the airing cupboard adjacent to Dahlia’s room, shutting the door softly behind him.

His plan was to just wait until Aegon had gone into his room and then he was going to slip out of the cupboard and head straight back to his room, whether he copied Dahia’s idea and dealt with himself was a decision he would make in the safety of his own abode. However once again his plan was thwarted as soon as he noticed the small beam of light coming into the otherwise pitch-black cupboard, Aemond had an inkling what sight was waiting for him on the other side of the wall that held the puncture, Dahlias moans had begun to pierce his ears a lot clearer. Despite all of his self-respect and honour screaming at him not too, he moved his face closer to the gap and peered through, and just as he had suspected there she was. He could see no more that her head and chest but he didn’t need to, her face alone sent his mind swirling into the dirtiest thoughts. Her eyes closed and mouth open with her lips pouted, eyebrows scrunched as she concentrated on whatever it was that he hands were doing.

‘Fuck’ Aemond mumbled to himself pulling his gaze away from the luxurious sight in front of him.

He shouldn’t be doing this, Aegon would surely be in his room by now, he could just slip out and go back to his room and forget that any of this happened. No matter how much he rubbed himself through his pant it would never feel as good as it would if he just went back and got himself comfy, he could just memorise what he had seen. But no one knew he was there or what was going on and he wasn’t going to say anything so who was he hurting really? Despite his best efforts to control himself Aemond still unbuttoned his jeans and released his hardness. Breathing deeply as the sudden contact of his cold hand he placed his face back against the wall, looking in on the girl he so desperately wanted.

Aemond palmed the head of his sensitive cock gently and slowly worked his hand down his shaft, all the while watching Dahlia’s face contort with pleasure, her chest rises and falling as she gasped and whimpered. He let out a soft groan, sliding his hand up and down his cock, listening to the sounds coming out of her. He bit his lip, working himself faster to relieve the pressure that growing in him the closer Dahlia evidently got to her climax. He could just envision what was going on behind the wall that was blocking his view from the rest of her perfect body, her legs spread, her hand moving over her wet pussy, rubbing over her tender clit or fucking herself with her own fingers, maybe even both. Gods he wanted to bury his face between her legs, he would never leave. He worked his hard on faster and faster, jerking his hips lightly into his hand.

It was the soft groan on his name that flowed from Dahlia’s lips that sent him over the edge, his available hand jolting up to grab hold of the door frame to steady himself as his eyes rolled back and hot strings of cum coated his hand and trousers. His heart pounded heavily in his ears that it almost blocked out the continuing noises that seeped from her mouth. It only took a few seconds for it to sink in what he had just done, that sickening feeling of guilt and disgust seeped into his bones.

He was stood in an airing cupboard, cock going soft in his cum covered hand after he had spied on his sister’s friend playing with herself, this was something his brother would do not him! He was a pervert! The fact that she had been playing with herself to the thought of him had made him cum and he would have loved to watch her finish herself and hope that he was the one that had gotten her there but he couldn’t stay to watch. He needed to leave and act like it had never happened, he felt like scum.

Calming his breathing down enough, he grabbed a hand towel off the shelf above him and cleaned his hand, shoving his cock back into his pants. Once he was sure the coast was clear he slipped out of the cupboard and padded back to his bedroom, shutting the door gently behind him. Aemond headed straight for the shower, to scrub himself clean.

[thetarttfuldickhead]

Studying Jamie’s hall for fic related reasons and at some point between 1x05 and 3x04 that little padded blue... footstool or what have you has apparently been replaced with those golden monstrosities and now I have some questions, real friendly like. Mostly along the lines of who did this? 

Jamie, was it you? Did you spot these things somewhere and went “yeah those are cool, I bet they’ll make the place seem dead classy, how can they not, they’re massive and golden”? (I think they might be brass, actually, but it’s hard to tell.) Does he only rent the place, and if so did the new renter or owner get them while Jamie was back in Manchester? Or did Jamie hire a home decorator to spruce the place up a bit and for whatever reason this happened? (I mean, the only angle this sort of set up looks good from is straight on and there’s stairs there so you can’t really see it straight on -- unless you’re standing on the stairs going down and peeking up over the floor I guess, but even that’s a bit close for the proper effect and it seems a weird thing to do anyway.) 

I have many questions but mostly I want someone to blame. On the one hand, I don’t want Jamie to have picked them because why, but on the other I really want him to have because a, make the place your own, Jamie, and b, that ridiculous boy would. But considering the contrast between the rather sterile “public” spaces and what little we see of Jamie’s bedroom (colours! so many of them! prints! leopard!) I suspect that he either went with what was already there or hired someone to make it all look classy and respectable and rich (and boring), but went wild in the more private areas, like his bedroom. 

[yowyowyaoi]

As a fellow citizen adopted by Ireland I have a habit of putting milk in my tea

What do our tea loving Akatsuki members think about it? Is is a crime?

Even if they DO think it’s a crime, they’re literal criminals who have committed far worse offenses. Don’t let them judge you!

That being said, I kinda … got carried away … 🫣

*Drinking Tea with the Akatsuki*

Deidara

Dei is not much of a tea drinker. He’s not much of an anything drinker, except for soda, which he downs more of than is healthy. However, sometimes he can be persuaded to have a cup with Konan or ((very rarely)) Itachi. Deidara has always been a bit of an insomniac, and has great difficulty falling asleep and staying asleep. Itachi introduced him to the calming benefits of chamomile tea , and for a while this really helped to put Dei out. But. After awhile he started to get “bored” with the taste and started adding things to make it “explosive”. Like a ridiculous amount of sugar. And flavored creamers, the type typically used in coffee. Which of course cancelled out the sleepy-time effect and had Deidara wide awake all night, as usual.

Konan

Konan really only likes drinking tea when she can have some type of dessert with it. She purposefully picks out a type of Chinese tea called Kuding tea, as it’s known for being especially bitter. She won’t add anything to it, no creams or sugars or anything, and instead balances it with a piece of apple pie, or a cream cheese tart; something where the sweetness counteracts with the bitter. Drinks it most frequently with Nagato or Itachi. Also is like Hidan in that she likes to add a bit of theatrics to teatime; she likes to put flowers in her hair, and wear a cute printed dress with matching shoes. Also loves to stick out her pinky and use an accent, although her accents are infinitely better than Hidan’s.

Hidan

Won’t drink tea unless it’s with the others. Always adds at least half a bottle of honey to his cup, which makes it look all sludgy and goopy. Makes it a point to hold his teacup with his pinky sticking out, because he heard that “that’s how the rich, fancy fucks do it!” Also attempts to speak with an accent, although WHAT accent he thinks he’s doing is a mystery to the others. Likes plain black tea the most because it gives him a “blank canvas” to add things to it to change the flavor.

Obito

When he was growing up, drinking tea was something that he did with his grandmother every single day. He’d come home from school, she’d brew them each a cup of tea, and he’d sit and tell her about his day at the academy. It was a cozy, comforting ritual, and one that Obito sometimes likes to partake in, in adulthood. When he was a boy the strong taste of tea was almost too much for him, so his grandmother would always add milk to his (oftentimes the cup would be more milk than tea). Obito still does this, adding milk or sometimes cream to his cup. Most of the time he’ll drink tea alone, but sometimes he’ll sit with Itachi (who has his own memories of teatime with his mother) and the two will sit and quietly  reminisce with each other. All flavors of tea rank pretty much the same to him, but he is very partial to those that are berry-flavored, with black cherry being his favorite.

Kisame

Kisame doesn’t exactly like tea. He prefers to stay hydrated almost solely through water. But being partnered with Itachi changed a bit of that mindset for him. He still doesn’t like the taste of tea, but the act of drinking tea itself has become something that’s familiar and comforting to him. His young partner loves going to tea and dessert cafes in their downtime, and THIS, Kisame loves. Something about the two of them being in plainclothes, not having to carry the identities of being a swordsman of the mist or an Uchiha or a member of the Akatsuki, just two friends doing something normal and mundane … it’s very freeing to Kisame. Kisame is like Deidara in that he adds a lot of sugar to his cups (but only when Itachi isn’t looking, as he’s kind of a purist about those types of things). Is also like Obito as he prefers berry flavored teas, with blackberry being his preference.

Nagato

This man is on a very strict diet, as his fragile and emaciated body can only digest so many things. The caffeine content of a lot of commercial teas is too high for him, but one thing he can handle is peppermint tea. The smell reminds him of the winter holidays, which has always been his favorite time of the year. Konan makes him his tea and, like Obito takes his, adds plenty of milk to it for her friend. It has to cool down considerably (he can’t handle anything too hot or too cold) and then he usually drinks it from a large mug with a straw. Also really loves when any of the others (aside from Konan) seek him out to have tea and talk with him. 

Zetsu

Does the tea have blood in it? If not, then he ain’t interested.

Kakuzu

Is very interested in drinking tea … if it doesn’t cost him anything. Which most of the time it won’t; the others all have what seems like thousands of tea bags and assorted leaves around, and there isn’t anyone that’s not willing to share. Kakuzu suffers from a lot of body aches, and will therefore always gravitate towards green tea, which helps relieve inflammation and pain. Kakuzu isn’t a man who allows himself a lot of luxuries in life, but his favorite treat for himself is to take a long, hot bubble bath with a cup of tea and a plate of cookies. Will constantly get on the others if they don’t finish their cups, and really doesn’t like it when they excessively use things like sugar or creamers.

Sasori

The puppet doesn’t drink tea. Even when he was a human, he didn’t see the point of tea. He is (was) strictly a coffee man. When asked, he said he remembers tea tasting like “water where something went horribly wrong”.

Itachi

Ah, this man. The Akatsuki’s champion of tea drinkers. This guy could tell you what tea you have blindfolded, or from a single whiff all the way in another room. He’s the one everyone else will go to, to ask what type of tea is best for what. Can’t sleep? Itachi knows what to give to you. have anxiety? Itachi’s already making you a cup of something that’ll calm you down. His hobby is visiting tea cafes and just recently he’s gotten into collecting ornate tea cups. He’s the type who likes to make tea from leaves, not a bag, and use an old fashioned kettle. It takes a while but his brew always smells and tastes better than anything you could buy in a shop. Having tea with other members is how he forms bonds with them, and he’s a lot more talkative when he has a tea cup between his hands. He normally doesn’t add anything extra to his tea, preferring to savor the natural flavors; although if he’s having a “down” day he’ll use a cube or two of sugar as a pick me up. Obito convinced him to use a little bit of milk once, but Itachi really didn’t care for the taste and never did it again after that one time.

[b-frank]

so long post warning but ive spent hours going through every single goncharov post and here’s a plot summary for anyone who can’t find the movie online. just focusing on the main characters and not going into the heavy dialogue moments (most of the film). feel free to add on or correct me

goncharov and his wife katya move to naples, italy after goncharovs father dies and goncharov assumes his place as head of the family. his father dies because of a bad play he made (he’s a high ranking russian mob boss) causing a different mob boss to send his hit man, ice pick joe, after him. after killing goncharovs father ice pick joe is to kill goncharov and his whole family to eliminate the gonacharovs from the russian mafia entirely.

gonacharov and his wife flee to naples to a safe house his father had prepared. ice pick joe follows them. it’s worth noting that ice pick joe kills with an ice pick because he was given a lobotomy against his will and it’s a way of taking his power back. he’s the only character in the film who seems happy, and it’s heavily implied that this is because he’s accepted that he can’t have a happy ending.

goncharov starts methodically working his way through the ranks of the italian mafia and the process is bloody. he develops a very close friendship with a man named andrea, whom goncharov nicknames andrey. andrey wears an eyepatch. that’s not actually notable but it’s for visualization purposes. we get a lot of ‘moving up the mafia ranks’ fill stuff with andrey and gonchrov. it’s obvious that they’re very close. andreys backstory is revealed that he has been working odd jobs for mob bosses because he is in debt with one of them and his fathers life is being threatened unless he pays it off. goncharov has promised to repay andreys debt but as the movie wears on it’s obvious that andrey is starting to doubt him. they have a lot of dialogue heavy scenes where they talk about the meaning of life and love and other things. they both envy the other

meanwhile katya develops a close relationship with sofia, a rich widow. katya is also getting her hands dirty, like her husband, because she is just as invested in the family. it’s arguable that she is more invested than her husband. she’s shown to be the plan-maker and go-getter in the relationship. sofia thinks she can save katya from her life of crime (total white knight complex, but it’s well done) there’s a scene at a pool party that’s incredibly sapphic and hints that sofia is in love with katya. katya is planning the murder of [guy who is obstructing goncharovs success] but when she attempts to kill him (with an ice pick no less! to frame it on ice pick joe!) sofia follows her.

[guy who is obstructing gonchrovs success] gets the upper hand and is going to kill katya and out the gonchrov to the russian mafia when sofia steps in and kills him by stabbing him in the neck. sofia and katya then clean up the murder and dispose of their bloody clothes. in the next scene they’re on the balcony of sofias manor when sofia announces she’s leaving italy in the morning and that katya should come with her. katya denies because she’s too committed to goncharov and doesn’t know who she is separate from the family. at this point we get back story that katya was taken in my the goncharovs when she was ~12 and her parents were brutally murdered. she’s says “maybe in another life, my love” and sofia kisses her cheek and leaves.

simultaneously with that plot, ice pick joe has contacted andrey and offered a ridiculous amount of money if he reveals goncharovs identity at this ball they’re all going to be at. katya is planning to murder [guy obstructing the goncharovs success] while the ball is going on. andrey betrays gonchrov with none other than the classic judas-jesus kiss on the cheek situation. he’s shown to regret this immediately and panics and tells goncharov they have to leave.

away from the ball, in the courtyard of the manor, where andrey takes goncharov “get away for a few minutes” ice pick joe appears and thanks andrey for his help. there’s a fantastic scene showing goncharovs emotions at the betrayal before ice pick joe starts attacking goncharov. (for context this scene is happening at the same time as katinyas struggle with [guy obstructing success]) while gonchrov struggles with ice pick joe andrey stands there, very conflicted, until ice pick joe gets the upper hand. at this point andrey tackles him and through the struggle gonchrov pulls out his gun and shoots. the screen cuts to black. a second shot sounds

in the next scene goncharov and katya reunite, both blood splattered and worn. katya cries into his shoulder whilst he stares detachedly at the grandfather clock in his house. previous lines of dialogue play over the scene of looking at the clock. its very movie. it’s worth mentioning that the entire movie up to this point has been cut with scenes of the clock ticking. gonchrov and katya have the Mandatory Sex Scene and throughout it it shows that they’re both thinking about sofia and andrey, respectively

through these thoughts it’s revealed that goncharov shot andrey after shooting ice pick joe and he did so out of love because he knew a worse fate would follow a man who double crossed his best friend and then double crossed the person who payed him to double cross him

the movie ends with katya and goncharov taking over the italian mafia, deeply unhappy.

**in an alternate version of the story, andrey becomes so enraged in his resentment that he attempts to murder goncharov and goncharov kills him to put him out of his misery.

**there’s also something about a boat

[would-this-pokemon-be-a-friend]

Would An Orthworm Be A Good Pet?

Uh… no. An orthworm would not be a good pet.

Caring for an orthworm, for a vast majority of owners, would be just plain ridiculous. We’re talking about a worm-like pokémon that reaches a length of eight feet! Orthworms like to dig! What home has a safe digging area for an eight foot long creature to comfortably tunnel in? There’s not many. At nearly seven hundred pounds, orthworms are certainly not easy to move around either. My cat in real life likes to sit on my lap and refuse to move. If she were seven hundred pounds I’d never be able to leave my room!

There isn’t much data about wild orthworms’ behavior, unfortunately. We do know that they are usually not aggressive unless attacked (Scarlet). Orthworms defend themselves using the fist-like appendages hidden inside their seemingly limb-less body, firing off punches at high speeds (Scarlet). Recreating the natural habitat of orthworms is, like I mentioned earlier, really difficult. Wild orthworms are found in arid deserts with iron-rich soil (Violet). The high iron content of the soil they make their homes in is critical to their survival, as consuming large quantities of iron is how they maintain the integrity of their metal bodies (Violet). As I’ve discussed in prior posts, pokémon with diets made up of metals are expensive to care for, at the very least.

To add even more complications, orthworms are a pretty risky creature to have around. As mentioned by the pokédex earlier, orthworms usually only become violent in self-defense. That being said, they are capable of using many ground-type moves that can cause tremendous damage to your home, like Bulldoze and Earthquake. This is a pokémon that could easily destroy the foundation of your home on accident. That’s not great.

Overall, orthworms are not going to be a great option for a pet. Between their size, dietary needs, and destructive potential, they’re far too high maintenance to be a house pet, and I’d reckon they’d probably be illegal to keep in a lot of residential areas.

[liaromancewriter]

What Could Have Been (8/?)

Series Premise: When Ethan breaks his promise, Cassie is forced to accept they’re not inevitable after all.

Book: Open Heart Pairing: Ethan Ramsey x F!MC (Cassie Valentine) Rating/Category: Teen. Angst Words: 1,150

Series Masterlist

A/N: Submission to @choicesmonthlychallenge June prompt "roses". I'm also using @choicesflashfics week 47, prompt 2

Chapter 8: Snow on the Beach. Love is never really over unless you want it to be.

Ethan Ramsey slowly sipped his scotch at Donahue’s and spied on Cassie Valentine with her friends in one of the booths in his line of sight. He pondered the current state of his love life, or lack thereof, a phenomenon entirely of his own making.

After that kiss a couple of weeks ago, things between Cassie and him had been strictly professional. Despite wanting to resolve things, he followed her lead and secretly planned how to break through her serenity.

He knew women preferred romance, but for the life of him, he couldn’t figure out what that meant. He could follow the advice of countless saccharine pop songs and fantastical romantic comedies on how to get the girl.

The problem was he couldn’t see himself as the hero of a grand romantic gesture. It just wasn’t him. Standing outside a girl’s window with a boombox blasting on his shoulder sounded ridiculous to him and, frankly, stalkerish.

Sure, he sent flowers to women he’d been intimate with. His father had raised him right, after all.

His face flushed at the realization that he had never sent Cassie flowers after their first night together. Or their second, for that matter, and any of the ones they spent together before he left for Brazil.

What was it about Cassie that made him forget he was a gentleman?

The other man in her life clearly had no such hangups. Not one to gossip, his ears nevertheless pricked at hearing through the grapevine about the extravagant gift basket delivered to Dr. Valentine.

“Moira was there when it was delivered at reception,” Marlee whispered loudly, her eyes locked on the computer screen at the nurses’ station. “Easily a couple of hundred dollars worth of gourmet snacks, trinkets and bubbly in there.”

“She’s probably used to it,” Sarah commented, and Ethan’s brows knit in confusion.

He had been a resident, and expensive gift baskets were not the norm. Lost in thought, he almost missed the rest of Sarah’s comment but tuned in just in time for his world to spin on its axis. Again.

“….family owns Hudson Hotels. The Valentines are practically American royalty with more money than God.”

“I wonder why she’s slaving away as a resident,” Marlee speculated. “Lord knows she doesn’t need to work.”

Sarah shrugged as if it was a mystery to her. Ethan slunk away, not wanting to be caught listening to gossip. But his mind was reeling from everything he didn’t know about the woman who loved him.

Any chances of winning her back were lost unless he went big, too. But was competing with another man really the way to go? One who looked like he belonged in her world?

He might be rich now, but Ethan knew he wasn’t in the same league as the Valentines and never would be. But he was losing her, he thought with another furtive glance at where she stood, ready to leave with Trinh and Greene.

Whatever misgivings he still had about them, could he live with himself if he let her go without even trying?

Cassie Valentine loved days off. Granted, she only got one every week if she was lucky, so that made a golden weekend all the more special.

She luxuriated in her warm and comfortable bed, her mind floating with do-nothing thoughts. She had woken up early to FaceTime with Nate in Singapore, something they’d fallen into the habit of doing. It started out as texts and graduated to video calls.

He was coming home next week, and she owed him an answer on where they stood.

Nate made her laugh with his witty observations. His sincere compliments reminded her she was a desirable young woman. But being with him meant a long-distance relationship, stolen moments whenever he could spare them, accepting she’d always share his time and attention with his business.

Cassie was honest with herself, and the reality was she enjoyed the romance. It wasn’t the gifts per se but the idea that he often thought of her. The lack was in her that she wished the gesture was from Ethan whenever she flipped open the accompanying card.

And maybe that was the answer.

She once thought being with Ethan was enough. That she didn’t need romance if he wasn’t comfortable with it. But she needed it, always had.

She wanted to be kissed on a moonlit balcony in Miami with the gentle sound of waves lapping against the beach. To walk down the street with her hand clasped in Ethan’s, his thumb stroking her fingers absently. She doubted he was even aware of doing it.

Cassie wanted to flirt with Ethan at Donahue’s and stay past last call for one more drink because it was never enough. She wanted to go home with him to just sleep and wake up to the smell of coffee percolating in his fancy espresso machine.

She wanted that slow fall from soft moments to forever…

“Cassie, come quick,” Sienna called out excitedly from outside her bedroom door, interrupting her thoughts.

Reluctant to leave her bed, Cassie almost didn’t reply. But then she immediately felt guilty and shoved the covers aside. Her roommates were used to the tee shirt and shorts she habitually slept in, so she didn’t bother with a robe.

She marched out of her bedroom to the fragrant scent of red roses perfuming the apartment. Elijah stared wide-eyed at the flowers the delivery man set on the table. Sienna was beaming, her eyes soft as she bubbled in excitement at the romantic gesture.

Cassie signed the electronic receipt and ran back into her bedroom to grab cash for a tip. She led the delivery man out, leaned against the closed door, and took a deep breath.

Nate knew she wasn’t a red roses type of person and that she preferred subtlety in all things. So, who had sent her the lavish bouquets? She hadn’t counted, but from the brief glimpse, she guessed it was close to two dozen, if not more.

She wasn’t going to find the answer in the front hallway. She padded on bare feet back to the living room, where her roommates stared at the flowers with curiosity and interest.

“This is big-league romance, Valentine,” Jackie teased, standing in the kitchen with her coffee mug.

“There’s a card,” Sienna said, clapping her hands. “Thirty-two roses. I counted.”

Cassie grinned at Sienna’s enthusiasm, plucking an envelope clipped to the bouquet closest to her.

“Are they from Nate?” Sienna asked.

But Cassie didn’t reply. Her heart sank as she read the words on the card.

“Just because I let you go doesn’t mean I wanted to.”

It wasn’t signed, but she’d recognize Ethan’s handwriting anywhere. She saw it almost daily when he jotted ideas on the whiteboard or when he’d autographed Landry’s copy of Diagnostic Principles.

She got her earlier wish. Now what?

All Fics & Edits: @bluebelle08 @coffeeheartaddict2 @crazy-loca-blog @doriopenheart @genevievemd @headoverheelsforramsey @lucy-268 @jamespotterthefirst @jerzwriter @lady-calypso @mainstreetreader @peonierose @potionsprefect @queencarb @quixoticdreamer16 @rookiemartin @socalwriterbee @takemyopenheart @tessa-liam @trappedinfanfiction

Submissions: @choicesficwriterscreations @openheartfanfics

Ethan & Cassie only: @cariantha @custaroonie @hopelessromantic1352 @mrs-ramsey @youlookappropriate

[shy-urban-hobbit]

“Come on Lam, it’s not that hard.”

Lambert could hear and smell the others amusement as he continued to glare at the waterproof tarp which was currently at waist height, mocking him. When Aiden had said he knew of another use for them, this isn’t quite what he pictured.

It had been a hard day of riding. The road long and bumpy (ridiculously bumpy. How neither of the horses had been lamed was a miracle) and with no hopes of reaching the next town before nightfall.

“Great. Another night sleeping on the ground.” Lambert had grumbled, purely out of the need to vent his spleen about the nearest inconvenience.

“Doesn’t have to be.” Aiden chirped.

“What do you mean, doesn’t have to be? unless you’ve got some pocket-sized, four poster bed stashed away somewhere.”

Aiden laughed loudly at that, “I’ll show you when we stop. Although, you could be onto something with the whole pocket-sized bed thing. Maybe we should have a word with Geralt’s Mage?”

Lambert had dubiously followed Aiden’s instructions, tying his tarp between two sturdy looking trees as Aiden talked about how they used hammocks at the caravan during the more crowded years – there’s only so many times you can stand being kicked in the face before fights break out - and that this was more comfortable than having to balance in a tree when being at ground level wasn’t really an option (Lambert didn’t ask him to elaborate on that. It was an unspoken arrangement that they didn’t ask anything about each others respective schools. Any information given up freely however, was a different matter).

“If any more monsters develop the ability to fly we’d be rich. So few people actually bother looking up.” Aiden said, giving one of the lines an experimental tug.

“Up to what? You’re not even six feet off the ground.”

Aiden casually flopped down onto his back, using the momentum to start lazily swinging himself backwards and forwards, one foot dangling over the edge, “Usually I’d be more or less in the tree canopy but I don’t want Vesemir hunting me down because you broke your neck falling out. Don’t forget to check your knots again.”

“They’re fine.” Lambert huffed, “And how stupid would you have to be to fall out of one of these.”

The famous last words which had bought him to his current situation: Glaring daggers at a makeshift hammock after falling out of the thing six times.

“Just sit down and swing you legs over. Like you’re getting in bed.”

“What the fuck do you think I’ve been doing?” Lambert snapped as he went to sit on the edge, the hammock tipping dangerously as he did so.

“No, more in the middle. Wait, hang on – ha! That wasn’t even intentional.”

He heard Aiden rise from his own hammock before he was behind Lambert, his breath tickling the back of the Wolf’s neck where he was half sitting, half standing in an awkward crouch.

“Don’t worry about tipping backwards, I’ve got you. Now, sit down.”

Lambert did so as obediently as if Aiden had used Axii on him. He felt himself tipping again before Aiden’s hand was on his back, steadying him.

“Alright, now swing both legs around and then just lie back.”

Lambert willed himself to ignore the white knuckle grip he had on the edge as he did so, Aiden’s hand never leaving his back, migrating to his bicep as he lay back.

“And you’re in! Comfy, right?”

Lambert gave a non-committal grunt. It actually was. Being almost cocooned, looking up at the network of tree branches above him, the gentle rocking motion caused by his earlier movements almost soothing.

“Sleep tight, Wolf.”

Lambert raised his head to look over at Aiden and arched an eyebrow in question, he’d never heard that one before.

“What do you mean sleep – fuck!”

Lambert hit the ground hard as one of the knots holding his hammock in place slid free. Dumping him unceremoniously onto the forest floor.

Aiden peered down at him with a dry “Guess."

[sagemonsters]

@jasper-the-menace has a blind date with...

Atticus the Robot

Atticus is a liberated “butler bot” who was once a servant in a rich inventor’s house before making their escape. They are humanoid in shape, made of gleaming brass clockwork laid overtop a lavishly decorated porcelain “skeleton” and encased in a jointed glass shell so that viewers can see all of their inner workings. Ordinarily perpetually annoyed by humans and determined to never be helpful to anyone ever again, they have decided to make an exception for you. 

Atticus can read, write, and speak in just about any language you can think of, and learns things incredibly quickly. They love raunchy jokes and foul language, but will tone it down as the situation calls for and/or if you ask them to. They always have a smartass remark ready to go, and often get in trouble with authority figures for talking back. They’re quick to defend you in an argument or debate, but will also start casual arguments with you over the most ridiculous topics because they like verbal sparring.

Once you earn Atticus’ trust, they will ask your opinions on body modifications; Atticus is thinking of getting cosmetic alterations so that they look more sleek and modern. On a related note, Atticus is 100% in favor of you getting any piercings, tattoos, gender-affirming surgeries, or other bodily alterations that you think would be good for you, and is ready to help out as best they can—whether it be holding your hand in the piercing booth or pitching in with post-surgical care.

Atticus is a bit nitpicky about how things are organized, and will fuss with how tableware is laid out due to long-standing habits. They completely understand how you organize and reorganize your bookshelves, and will offer increasingly jokey methods such as “in reverse alphabetical order by the author’s middle name.” However, once you adopt a method, Atticus will abide by it for however long it lasts; when they borrow a book from you, they always put it back in the correct position. 

Atticus doesn’t play video games, but they like to tinker with all kinds of coding languages and make mods for various games as a creative exercise. You’re their #1 playtester and get to see all of their mod creations in action, and in return Atticus keeps your games upgraded to their latest versions and makes sure that everything runs smoothly.

“What are you doing?” the robot demanded, placing their hands on their hips and focusing their clockwork eyes at the woman. She startled guiltily and looked away from where she had been glaring daggers at the drag queen reading to the kids in the children’s literature section of the public library.

“I don’t like public indecency,” she grumbled. “What are you doing here, anyway? Your kind don’t need books. Y’all just… just download information from the Internet!” 

“It’s a public library,” the robot pointed out. “I have as much right to be here as you do.”

She sniffed. “I’m going to tell the manager about this—and about you.”

“Ooh, I’m so scared,” the robot retorted, then rolled their eyes. “Whatever, Karen.”

The woman huffed. “My name is Susan!”

“Blah, blah, blah—that’s all I hear,” the robot retorted. “Run along and complain to the branch manager, why don’t you? Go on!”

Susan made a face and stomped away in the direction of the front desk. You stepped out from behind one of the ceiling-high shelves in the Adult Fiction section. “That was brave,” you said. “Mrs. McConnell is a regular complainer; all of the staff hate her.”

The robot let out a mechanical-sounding snicker. “It’s what she deserves,” they said. “I didn’t want her to interrupt the Drag Story Hour with her idiotic fear-mongering, so…” They shrugged.

“Is there anything you need help with, like finding a book or something?” you asked.

“Nope, I’m just here for the free Wi-Fi,” the robot said. The lenses of their eyes focused more sharply upon you. “Unless that was a polite way of asking me to finish my business and fuck off?”

“Nah,” you said. “I just wanted to talk to you.”

“I see!” the robot said. There was more focusing and re-focusing of the robot’s ocular lenses. “You seem like an interesting human. What do you prefer to be called?”

You told them your name.

“That’s a good choice of a moniker,” the robot said, nodding in approval. “I’ve been called Atticus for a very long time, but I’m thinking about changing it. Do you know any books of names that aren’t aimed at soon-to-be parents? I want interesting names, not a million weird spellings of Ashley or Kayla.”

You thought for a moment. “I don’t think we have anything like that in the print collection—but our ebook catalog might have some interesting choices, and there are also web-based resources too, of course.”

“Good,” Atticus said. “Do you have forty-five minutes or so to spare? I want to hear your opinions on whatever names I encounter.”

Somewhere closer to the front of the library, you heard Susan’s shrill protesting and the branch manager raising his voice trying to calm her down.

“Sure!” you said quickly. “Let’s use one of the computers way in the back.”

Atticus’ design is inspired by this artwork by Nicholas Hunter

see here to get your own blind date with a monster!

[anthonybialy]

Back to Not Abnormal

Most people would claim to prefer sanity.  Thinking clearly seems logical unless you’re insane.  There’s a good test if anyone’s worried about being infected.  Discarding maniacal idiocy is apparently the wisest course.  If you are familiar with many of humanity’s regrettable tendencies, you understand why there’s no certainty.  We tried out lunacy just to see if we enjoyed it.  Keeping an open mind allows for new experiences even if trying once turns out to be sufficient.

You’re no longer deemed racist for existing, which is nice in the way no longer hitting yourself on the head with a claw hammer feels better by comparison.  One scumbag cop kneeling on a suspect’s neck is no longer valid as an excuse for telling one race of people to pipe down and listen as if another is more authentic in its experience.  You can fill in any group and it’s wrong, which is a way to check.

Grievances aren’t necessarily accurate.  Take how in this case they were totally inaccurate.  The sort of subjective beings who say things like “My truth” may not perceive reality with clarity.  Admitting to subjectivity is a good start even if it’s inadvertent.  Pent-up venters just happen to be the same ones who think Hamas represents the persecuted and this White House has made everyone rich just because the dollar figures seem so high.

Government will cure you, according to countless epitaphs.  It turns out coerced care is the precise opposite of compassionate, what with creating shortages while raising prices.  Micromanaging your breathing and associating only sound like exaggerations.

Getting up in your grill doesn’t just apply to nasty flus inflicted by inept supervillains.  Violating the health of your liberties leads to your physical being declining, too.  Deciding something others provide for you is a right leads to it becoming unobtainable.   Other than the philosophical and practical failures, everything works out.

Billing the collective is a bad way to get goods.  Stuff is supposed to become affordable by billing all of us, meaning others.  Forcing the collective to pay results in an unwieldy cost burden where people either pay ridiculous prices that inevitably result from removing competition or force anyone who makes more to pay way more in taxes, which results in a downturn of spending and hiring.  You can’t choose which way coercion causes ironic woe.

The notion that government is good at anything at all runs counter to every moment we’ve endured, so at least ceaseless suffering had a purpose.  The incumbent claims to have experience yet runs against it.  Aren’t you enjoying your newfound wealth?  There’s the little catch of how we’ve been handed Monopoly money, with the difference being it’s fun to outfox art history majors who think gentrifying Marvin Gardens with hotels would displace the indigent.  A game where entrepreneurs must put others out of business defines liberalism as much as the way they’re terrible at it.

The notion that politicians should seize lucre in order to spend wisely never made sense.  But we tried it just to make sure.  The rather pushy redistribution wasn’t voluntarily, of course, unless signing over one’s autonomy permanently is the consequence of voting once.  That’s Democratic policy.

Coerced cooperation was always preposterous.  The ominous notion now features the immediacy of many horrid examples.  Thank Joe Biden for disproving everything he believes.  

Seeing results is bad news for the theoretically-minded.  Self-branded intellectuals can’t even think of appealing schemes.  Patent claptrap has been inflicted upon everyone for a couple years as part of a rather dubious trend that’s hopefully never treated as a throwback.  We live under a government that’s only semi-skilled at stopping crime, which is the one task it’s neglected.  One of its very few actual assigned roles has been swapped out for ensuring diversity.  Risk is ubiquitous for equality.

Everyone was benefiting from open markets and locked prisons to the point that ingrates decided the solutions were the problems.  The unappreciative naturally kvetch about what allows them to idle.

Removing safeguards went as well as declaring politicians are better at spending than whoever earned the money in question, which is to say not very.  Take a look at who decided what we didn’t need luxuries like autonomy to learn why letting someone else make decisions is a very bad idea.  Biden’s staffers are so bad at being productive that they had to find work hassling those who are.

This decade is not just an experiment to see how woeful life can get, although that was the result.  Change for the sake of it needs specifics.  Imposing daily burdens differs entirely from preserving fantastically counterproductive mandatory programs with coerced funding.

Anyone sick of feeling perpetually fed up might even get to the point where they seek a president who suggests you can choose things for yourself.  All it took was trying the opposite.  Voters consented, once.

[twopoppies]

My brother was very briefly in a position to be surrounded by the rich and famous. He told me that many countries (China and most Asian and Middle Eastern) will not hire openly gay actors, musicians or even work with gay CEOs in business, etc. Even if the countries appear to be open or don't have laws against it, an openly gay person will not have a successful career in those places. He said he doubts Harry will ever come out unless he scales down his career. That all can't be true, right?

I mean, he’s right about the rampant homophobia in those parts of the world (although they’re clearly not the only parts). And he’s right that if Harry were out it would affect his ability to work in certain places/with certain people. I don’t know that that’s a major reason he doesn’t want to discuss his sexuality though. Frankly, if his label would just stop pushing the idea that has to appear straight by having these ridiculous girlfriends, I think he’d be so much happier, even if he never said a word about his partner or his love life.

[bradshawsbaby]

about the tellers (sorry).

i can’t say i know what they’re like beyond the public eye but if you want to argue that keileigh is a trump supporter because she follows news outlets that may republic, one should also be cancelling glen powell for being proud about being a white man from texas, who is presumably from a rich rich family and whatever else. and like. regardless of what the tellers get up to beyond closed doors, they’ve been more than supportive of the democrats, siding with clinton and urging people to vote for biden when given the chance.

the most i can fault miles for is being bad at pr. he seems to be inept at it, but there’s also something oddly endearing about a celebrity who’s so media illiterate that he makes the news for it?? if asked to pick between someone who’s in a literal cult or someone who spent his entire life learning the intricacies of fame and someone who made it just because, i’d pick miles just because he seems like the lesser evil. maybe cos he’s the most human, the most fallible.

and this whole thing with kt being a trophy wife? funny that you should say it right as she turned thirty. i’d say she’s insecure just because of the sheer amount of botox that has gone into her appearance’s upkeep, but that is not enough to say she’s unhappy. stop. presuming. !!!

there are so many other people more than worthy of cancellation and while the tellers aren’t perfect, they’re nowhere near the worst. they’re like your dumb cousins. don’t confuse them for your paedophilic uncle.

tldr; miles is vaccinated. he is registered to vote. he’s also gone one record supporting biden. and if you’re so desperate as to call colin jost (who goes in snl to call out republicans every damn week) republican, you’ve damn near lost the point. this is in no way a defence of the tellers despite what it may sound like. just, like. check your facts. i may be wrong. but you might be as well.

I’m going to be honest, this whole thing is just mind-bogglingly ridiculous to me. It’s all been so blown out of proportion and most people seem to be spewing things as facts that they literally know nothing about.

I tried reading through the comments on Twitter, and I honestly had to laugh. I felt like I was listening to my twelve-year old students arguing with each other. It was just so immature.

Also, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. I think the way some people talk about Keleigh is so vile. None of us are privy to the ins and outs of their relationship, and no one should act like they are.

People on Twitter never seem to be happy unless they’re cancelling someone for some completely random and unfounded reason. Hence, why I’m not on Twitter.

All in all, Miles Teller is like teflon. People have been trying to cancel him for years and he always bounces back 🤣

[m0tel6mxzzy]

ggrb 2x09 review

a single scene of monet and her family (a rare occurrence) is more interesting than the writers making more trying to push the teachers being these moral beacons of light i said what i said.

monet’s burberry fit ended flop keller girlie pops off w the preppy spoiled rich girl fashion excellence

i feel like i’ve seen so much climatic stuff involving julien and audrey but the fact that the show has become legit all abt them and the teachers (kate is awful and the guy she’s w isn’t any better just bc he has a superiority complex so i hate him more than kate) makes me so annoyed

it’s legit going in circles, audrey is a little more dynamic because she’s testing out the triad, then the only time we see luna is when max is stepping away from audrey to give him advice that also goes back to also benefiting audrey even if it also benefits max and aki, and the only time we see monet is when she’s benefiting julien. i love this episode being a little more abt her which is what we deserved all season. entitled monet giving kate shit is what i love to see

then julien also going to luna for emotional support but she’s a lot more self involved???? and it’s solely to benefit julien and make her feel better abt how her sometimes selfish actions hurt other ppl but the problem is julien is always acting before she thinks and w audrey she never lets audrey in on what she’s abt to meddle so i’d be annoyed w her too. like u can’t just blow huge life altering moments on ppl for self gratification which seems to be the true motive of julien’s actions, she’s always hoping she’ll be thanked. which is why sometimes she goes to luna first only in the hopes luna will bid her head and congratulate her for meddling.

and everyone in 2x09 including zoya and luna calling julien out on her selfishness? that’s some good shit!

also audrey and aki were lowkey starting to annoy me esp w the way they treated max. i did like how they did communicate in 2x09 after confronting julien focusing on max rather than themselves like they’d done earlier in the episode. considering this no wonder he always goes to luna for advice on basic communication

also luna being the voice of reason for luna and max eventually has to stop???? i agree w @lawolfe who put me on the prospect of luna x max in the first place. there is always an issue of some sort of feigned ignorance, miscommunication, or invalidation in makidrey which bugs me bc i really want them to work but the pattern of how max

i loved makidrey but not the way communication has been poorly done, usually singling out max and aki/audrey kind of invalidating each other’s problems and also the codependency on audrey’s end leading aki and max to not even being able to be alone together bc they were just supposed to assume what audrey was feeling despite no direct communication.

also i feel like monet and savannah as an actress as well as zion luna is are underutilized it’s getting ridiculous???? they have amazing screen presence but are always assisting julien and max but i at least feel max as a character hasn’t done anything to annoy me that hasn’t been held accountable.

monet getting more screentime this episode should’ve been done every other episode we saw aki x audrey going in circles w miscommunication it was established they’d moved on from and it hurting max. fave episode so far bc damn how hard was it to give monet luna and zoya screentime

over all…fave episode by far. 8/10 the others are 6s. however these are my conditions:

—give zoya/monet/luna more screentime outside something just benefiting audrey and julien. they’re all sick of her and need to unite

—fewer teacher scenes unless it’s kate interacting w the de haans

—i’m ok w makidrey blowing up bc of the lack of communication. it makes me sad bc they had so much potential and julien was just a catalyst. also lawolfe slowburn pls