#usual terms

[cissyenthusiast010155]

Usual Terms Ch 1: Back in Town and Reunited ~Carolyn Martens xFem DGSE!Agent!Reader

Mommy… Master List

Requests & Prompt-List

Warnings: NSFW, cheeks kisses, teasing, alcohol consumption, meantions of bribery, implied past smut, implied smut, implied future smut, etc.

Enjoy (;

“Darling…!” Carolyn exclaimed, walking through the hotel lobby, towards you.

The woman was wearing a dress that clung to her frame oh so elegantly. It made you double back and your eyes take up and down her figure a couple of times. You kissed each other’s cheeks, before having a quick hug.

Carolyn’s eyes also widened at your classy, brown suit. She always loved how fashion played a big part in your diplomacy.

“Carolyn…! It’s been too long!” You exclaimed through your smile.

“I know…” Carolyn sighed dramatically, “Thank you for meeting me at my hotel, love” she smiled.

You nodded.

“Of course. Shall we?”

Carolyn nodded, linking her arm to yours and leading you to the high status restaurant in the hotel. It was Paris after all.

A waiter showed you to the table, and you both took a seat and started glancing at the menu.

“So, how’s Paris treating you?” Carolyn asked.

You sighed and smiled, meeting the woman’s gaze through the sides of your menus.

“It’s good.” You chuckled.

At this, Carolyn smiled and nodded.

“Good.” She stated emphatically.

“How’s London…?” You asked.

You had now picked your food, and so you put your menu down.

“It’s…” Carolyn began, while scanning her menu at the same time.

She then sighed and placed her menu down as well, having decided.

“It’s chaotic. And very busy…” the older woman chuckled in confession.

You could see the stress on the woman’s face. Sympathetically, you placed your hand on Carolyn’s hand, squeezing it with reassurance.

“I’m sure you’re amazing, and that they are so extremely lucky to have you.” You reassured the woman.

The woman flipped her hand up and squeezed your hand back in return. She smiled in comfort.

“Thank you, Darling.” She hummed.

Dinner went by with ease, the two of you chatting and drinking away. Pretty soon, you had both finished your meals and were sipping away at your wine.

“So…” you breathed out, placing your glass down on the table for the moment, “What is it that you want, Carolyn…?”

Carolyn put on a shocked face of mock-offense.

“Why Darling…! Why would you ever assume that I want something from you??” She exclaimed dramatically.

You took up your glass and took a sip, amused by Carolyn’s little performance.

“Come on… You always wine and dine me before asking for something…” you teased the woman, wiggling your eyebrows suggestively.

Carolyn chuckled.

“Alright, you’ve caught me, Darling…” she hummed, raising her hands a little in surrender, then taking a dip of her own wine before telling you.

“I need access to the French crime database.” Carolyn admitted, “Specifically a file on one woman, who my team and I are tracking.”

The woman tilted her head at you, as you listened and processed her words.

“I see… And what do I get out of this…?” You asked, taking a sip of your wine.

“My undying gratitude” Carolyn teased with the a smirk, taking another sip of her wine.

You giggled at her words.

“Very funny…” You chuckled, rolling your eyes.

“Only teasing, Darling…” Carolyn chuckled with a wink, “We’d go by our usual terms...”

“Usual terms…?” You chuckled yourself, “Can’t bring yourself to say that your bribing me, Carolyn…?” You teased the woman.

Carolyn had been refilling her glass as you spoke, and she smirked at to your words. She then offered to refill your glass, but you shook your head.

“If we’re going by our usual terms, you shouldn’t have any more either…” you teased lightly.

“OhLove… You’re no fun…” Carolyn grumbled, taking a big sip from her glass.

“What was it that you called it once…?” You continued to tease Carolyn, “Ugandan discussions…?”

Carolyn was sipping more wine as you said the last two words, and she nearly choked on her own wine. She quickly put the glass down, grabbed a napkin, and sent you a very intense yet playful death stare.

You couldn’t help but giggle at Carolyn’s reaction, being very proud of yourself, for the reaction that you’d managed to pull from the older woman.

“So you’re agreeable…?” Carolyn asked.

“I would also like access to your investigation. My people might be interested…” you explained, nodding your head and setting your terms.

The woman nodded in agreement.

“I can do that.” She breathed out.

She then pulled out a key card, her dark gaze meeting your eyes. She set the key on the table.

“Room 307. I’ll pay and meet you up there…” Carolyn hummed, leaning back in her chair.

You took the key card with a smirk.

“Don’t bother, already took care of the bill.” You hummed, “We can head up together…”

“Together it is…” Carolyn hummed, nodding with a smirk.

The two of you then left the restaurant to the elevators, arms linked and walking in tandem.

~~~

Part 2 with smut… in the works… 😏

Carolyn Martens Masterlist

[perfectlyripeclementine]

calling my lover "mine" but not in the way that my toothbrush or notebook are mine, mine in the way my neighborhood is mine, and also everybody else's, "mine" like mine to tend to, mine to care for, mine to love. "mine" not like possession but devotion.

[sibmakesart]

part 2

im procrastinating on the time travel comic by working on the thriller bark aftermath one and im procrastinating on the tba comic on making this

with a bit of luck itll circle back around at some point

[lucabyte]

sometimes everything just sucks real real real bad

[amarriageoftrueminds]

View on Twitter

Since it came up recently, link to that therapist on twitter 👆 who was discussing Bucky's terribile therapist in TFATWS and how they should’ve been. 

Transcript:

"As a therapist myself I've had a lot of feelings about Bucky's therapist on TFatWS, and have decided I need to rant a little to let it all out. I've worked w/active duty, trauma survivors, and court ordered clients, so here's some therapeutic conjecture on Bucky's therapy:

Aesthetically her office and presentation don't fit for someone who has been through the trauma that he’s been through. A client like this would need something non-threatening and safe- the whole vibe is overly formal and official in an office building, not at all therapeutic.

6 months working together she calls him Mr. Barnes and then James-he has identity issues and is struggling with who he is, so I think that one of the 1st things they would have done is figure out what he is comfortable being called, by whom and what that means for him.

He is still full out lying to her about pretty much everything including PTSD sx—I’m not saying clients never lie if they have good therapists, but if after 6 months he still doesn’t feel like he can be truthful at all then they haven’t built any trust/ solid therapeutic rapport

The pen and notebook thing-that’s clearly a trigger for him, there’s no reason to antagonize him and take notes in session like a punishment, it’s a power play on her part and it only emphasizes his lack of control in being forced into therapy (she should know his hx w/notebooks)

The whole little arm motion she made when she said “they need to make sure you don’t…” – that made so much light of what has happened to him, he probably feels like his arm is only good as a weapon and things like that will not help him accept it as part of his body

The rules, UGH the rules—from how they were talking about them clearly not something he actively created for himself, more like directives that he’s been ordered to adhere to—something fed to him and reinforced, feels like a way to sign off on liability only

THE AMENDS—this is probably my biggest issue. Amends are for people who need to take accountability for their actions and the repercussions of those choices. He had NO choice. He was a victim of horrific crimes against him, and framing it in a way that he needs to make up for

the crimes that others used him for is abhorrent. The lack of trauma informed care as astounding in the way it is being framed that he has to atone for sins that weren’t his. Its clearly reinforcing the idea in his head in ep 2 when he says “HYDRA were my people".

NO, HYDRA were your captors. They were not your people. That type of thinking needs to get deconstructed and challenged. He can dedicate himself to bringing good into the world and righting wrongs that happened WITHOUT taking on the responsibility of those actions.

Her whole attitude and demeanor were condescending and demeaning. I know some people have said “I love how she calls him out on his bullshit!” That’s not what I see happening. I call my clients out on their shit all the time—this was not that.

And I can only do that with clients ONCE we’ve built the type of relationship where it’s going to be therapeutic for them to hear it, and it’s done intentionally and with purpose. She just came off shaming and mean because they don’t seem to have any form of therapeutic rapport.

She said “you have no history, no family”- there is no therapeutic reason for that, and she’s wrong. He most likely has family alive (he used current tense when talking about his sister) and he was close to Shuri and TChalla, his history is vital to understanding him

When she said “Look, I know that you have been through a lot, but you’ve got your mind back. You are being pardoned. These are good things. You’re free.”—Yeah this feels really dismissive and like toxic positivity. “I know you’ve been through a lot BUT BE HAPPY!!??”

He certainly doesn’t seem to feel like he’s free (especially having therapy mandated), and you can’t just tell someone they’re free. I felt like she was pretty much just like, “shake it off, look to the future!” which feels really shitty when you’ve experienced excessive trauma.

HELLO breach of confidentiality, just introducing herself to Sam as his therapist and confirming it to Walker and the whole police station, it doesn’t matter if they know he’s in therapy you do not break someone’s privacy like that, he still deserves some control over his tx.

Ordering Sam into a session, NO, he’s not your client and you don’t know him well enough to know if that’s appropriate or if it would be harmful to either, and you haven’t asked your client for his consent to have another person in his session

Forcing a trauma victim who was stripped of his bodily autonomy for 70 years into a physically intimate exercise with a coworker that he’s barely interacted with in the last several months? NOPE, just reinforcing to Bucky she has control over him the way his handlers used to

To me, I think she is more focused on signing off on his psychological eval that he isn't a liability rather than any actual healing or attention to his trauma. This unfortunately isn’t unusual in the military where “mental health treatment” is focused on being mission ready.

They are making sure he’s ready to be an “asset” w/ mandated therapy, which he shouldn’t even be forced to do as part of his pardon because he shouldn’t have needed a pardon at all because he was a victim of horrific war crimes, brainwashing, and dehumanization for 70 years.

I’m just saying, if that was me he would be on my big squishy couch, bright open windows, bowl of Hershey kisses, random fidget toys, and two therapy dogs laying all over him while we work through that trauma and he builds back his identity and finds the calm he wants so badly.

And yes he would probably need someone who would see through his BS, call him out when he needs it, not be overly "touchy feely", but only if he feels safe and there is trust, where he gets to work on what HE wants, not what others think he needs.

Anyway thanks for coming to my TEDTalk, I❤️my work and I think being a therapist on retainer for the Avengers would've been a fucking trip, they all needed a team of mental health professionals at their disposal 24/7 and things would've been so much better🤣

ps. They can be a good therapist and just not be a fit for the client, that happens regularly. We know when to make it part of the conversation and when to refer out. Nothing good is going to come out of a contemptuous therapeutic relationship, mandated or not.

pps. That whole situation and the scene with Zemo was so rough. I can't imagine how much it brought back the violation, humiliation, anger, and helplessness of when he was the WS. I'm just imagining him having a therapist he trusts and being able to process that afterwards 😭😭😭"

[lunacias]

these are the silt verses, and I name our disciples thus

[hinamie]

quick lmhs itafushi because god help me i have Not been able to get the concept of yuuji smiling/laughing into kisses out of my head

jjk atla!au with @philosophiums

[horrorlesbion]

we really don't talk enough about what a wild decision it was for riverdale to hire famous new queer cinema director gregg araki to direct only the wrestling episode specifically to make it as uncomfortably homoerotic as possible and then never hire another outside guest director again.

[whosectype]

I watched the new Spider-Man across the spiderverse

[transmascissues]

i absolutely cannot believe people are trying to start discourse about whether nex benedict was actually nonbinary / whether it was okay for him to describe himself as nonbinary to some people if he didn’t actually identify that way as if he isn’t literally DEAD because he was KILLED. this is a MURDERED CHILD and these monsters are so busy getting mad at the possibility that he might have been a trans boy who described himself as nonbinary to his family because that was easier for them to take that they’re turning a CHILD who was MURDERED into fucking discourse. even when we die at the hands of cis people’s violence, our own community finds a way to make us the villains of the story.

and all of this bullshit on top of the ways that cis people are already trying to say our grief over his death is unjustified. all of this on top of people claiming he wasn’t murdered and speculating on other causes of death (i literally saw someone say he “clearly went home and took the coward’s way out” and i have never been more disgusted) or claiming that he started the fight as if any action on his part could’ve been enough to justify his death. i am haunted by the sound of his father screaming that his child was not filth because that is what people have been saying about this poor kid, that’s how cruelly his memory is being treated, and even the trans community can’t get it’s shit together enough to look past the stupid discourse and see the tragedy in front of us. did you all forget that it was supposed to be up to us to grieve him in the way he deserves when the rest of the world fails to care if people like him live or die? did you all forget that this child was our sibling, the future of our community, a life that we should have had the chance to know and treasure while he was still here but that we now have a responsibility to hold close to our hearts in his absence? nex’s life was precious and it was ended far too soon and if you truly believe that anything is more important than mourning his life and fighting for a world where no more trans people have to meet such an awful fate, you’re a traitor to this community and you do not deserve the place you occupy within it.

i’m so tired. i can’t even imagine how tired his family must be, to see the public treat the child they’re grieving so horribly, to see the world fail their baby again. leave him alone. he was already robbed of peace in life; the least you can do is let him finally have it in death.

[akakumoeteru]

The weather's getting colder!

[salt-baby]

POTS Medication Vocabulary

after about the third time a doctor prescribed a medication that made my POTS drastically worse, and about three doctors visits past giving up on being an easy patient, i started asking my doctors the following questions whenever they prescribed a new long term medication:

is this medication a hypotensive? (will this medication lower my blood pressure?)

does this medication have a risk of tachycardia? (can this medication raise my heart rate?)

is this medication a diuretic? (will this medication dehydrate me?)

can this medication cause hyponatremia? (will this medication cause my body to lose salt?)

your doctor likely doesn’t know all of this off the top of their head for every medication, but they should know the most common adverse reactions. some may simply tell you they have no clue. i still think it’s worth asking to force them to consider these mechanisms.

for additional consideration:

your pharmacist likely knows the answers to these questions better than your doctor does. 

an additional list of types of drugs which should be avoided is available here, in the table on the fourth page. (note that propranolol, a beta blocker, is often prescribed for POTS but is discouraged by this paper. as someone whose taken it, it’s worth trying to see if it will improve symptoms, but didn’t for me. Additionally, these are just guidelines, and in those with, for example, both hEDS and POTS, the benefits of opiates for pain relief may be worth the risk of worsening POTS.)

regardless of what the doctor says, I always look up the FDA info sheet before taking a medication. these can be found pretty easily on google (your med + “fda pdf”), and list most of the adverse effects. I’m happy to make a post about reading these info sheets.

there’s a reason prescribing medication is left to those with years of medical training - it’s a complicated and difficult process. but oftentimes those who do this work are so overworked and burnt out, they don’t have the ability to read someone’s entire medical file, or be aware of an adverse event that only affects those with an uncommon condition. I find asking these questions forces my doctors to think about my chronic conditions, and after so many adverse events, I always check a medication for myself before taking it. 

remember that you can and should refuse to take a medication that is making your life worse or harming you. even pediatric patients have the right to refuse a medication, and often times, I’ve found nothing other than a very firm “no, I refuse” will get a doctor to consider other options. and even though its against the norm, remember that you have the right to ask your doctor why they’ve chosen that medication for you.

as always, feel free to ask questions, they make my day!

[psychotrenny]

I think one of the most blatant ways that "Femboy" is just the Politically Correct evolution of "Trap" is the way that so many of it's signifiers (i.e. thigh highs, cat ears) steal specifically from reddit transfem culture. It's just that these things are now framed as being for the sexual gratification of an other rather than the gender affirmation of the self

[ferngle]

Mr Beebleboose?!?!

[sunlit-mess]

Aaaahhhhh you doodle-sona(?) is so hot 😩🤤

(sorry if that's weird)

[jakeperalta]

(this isn't a question about the best p&p adaptation ever, it is simply which you prefer OUT OF THESE TWO OPTIONS since they are the two most commonly talked about and compared!!)