#vent for void

[supreme-leader-stoat]

Some of you people sound exactly like the fundamentalist adults in my life who were dead sure that Obama was going to abolish religious freedom and term limits and turn the US into a single-party state when he got elected in 2008 as opposed to like. being a pretty standard-issue federal politician with policies they didn't like. You know that, right?

[h1biscusgal]

My journey. (Tw)

This is the longest post, please read everything if you need motivation, need some advice, and let me help you with something.

I want anyone who is doubting themselves, anyone who is trying not to give up, anyone else in the community of being blessed, to read the post whole.

I'm going to be talking about my life, and how the journey started, what I did and what I did not, bear in mind please, this was a little emotional for me to write, I feel a bit nostalgic about it all and I honestly can't believe so much went in such a time.

I found out about everything starting with a book I bought from the local fair that interested me a lot, and I swear if it weren't for the book, I would be here, I used to be the most logical bitch child ever, top grades, stressed like I'm in college already, pained mind and always pressured to be perfect, resulting in me being burnt out and already too mature for my age in mind, yet still childish in many senses, and constant fights with my parents, I felt like I was against the world.

The book was The Power of your Subconscious Mind - Dr. Joseph Murphy.

I was a kid who loved hobby reading, sort of an escape from the hell hole of the pressure I would have around me, and I adapted by this book, and it changed everything for me.

I was only 13 at that time of the book, after that I started trying it out for things and I saw results, made me happy, and I went to something I found in the corner of YouTube, called subliminals, and another part of it where it was called manifestation.

Now with subs, I found reality shifting, then came the void, then came lucid dreams and all that combined together in a hot mess.

Shifting was something so beautiful to me, The idea of a world where I could live my life was something that trapped me so much, I already imagine things a lot and use it as an escape mechanism, sounded perfect, right? And naturally, my first DR was my hero academia, just because I wanted to relive being a proper teenage.

And for subliminals? I can tell you one thing, I was extremely insecure of the person who used to be in the mirror, because all I did was to throw away my life, I studied, slept, and woke up, no friends, no one to trust, I just lost myself, and all that when I was 13-14, (tw) I hated hated hated myself and my appearance so bad, I could only pity myself for the state I used to be in.

I feel almost sad for my younger self, as I'm 18 now watching my young teen self stress through her life, cry at her appearance, even sometimes (tw) wishing to be just die in her sleep, all that because I was heavily burnt out, seeing girls my age looking prettier through puberty, talking with others and I'm stuck on a wish that felt like it won't happen, and yet, a part of me was too ashamed to feel this way, because I knew there are people worse than me, and I sympathized for them.

I think it started good, at 14 years old, I fully started subliminals and it worked for a while, especially my first results that hyped me up so much as changing the grades I mentioned on the other post, so I thought life was changing right?

It did for a year, at 15 things were going well on the outside, I started obsessing over my look, I started using subliminals even more too much for my appearance, I changed drastically, and tried to fit in, but get, none of those changes in my self were drastically from manifesting or anything, sure of course I had some small results, it was almost like I was not naturally like that, I felt fake in short, like a second skin to my real self, every night trying to shift or enter the void and whatnot, all that and finally, and I even opened a Tumblr account which safe to say, got pretty popular back in the day and honestly that was quite a mistake for me at that time.

Why? It ruined me.

I thought I could open the blog to help people with their journey as well as help myself with mine, y'know? Things got out of hand when I got a bunch of people who messaged me and ranted to me about their problems, and bless my younger heart, I used to be so touched by it and help them with it, I was like an unpaid therapist, and I never cared about my health, I just wanted to make people who had worse life than mine, get their results before even I did.

I should've told them I can't manifest for them, but that was where the shit and trust issues came from, sadly I got into the trap of (tw) "suicidal" people who claimed they'll off themselves and blame it on me if I don't enter the void for them, saying how they hate their life and everything else and how they want to change everything.

Please.

For the love of god.

I've been there like you and in worse, I stood up, I found the courage to stand up everytime I fell down, everytime, and that happened so much, almost 6 years worth of failure and never once I wanted someone to do it for me, why? Because it's your life my love, please don't think I'm rude or whatnot, I seriously I'm telling you, it's all in your hands.

And yes, of course there are people with far worse conditions and living state than mine, and I'm never blaming anyone to ask for help, but seriously.

To threaten a literal child on a simply happy pink blog telling her to enter the void for them or else? Especially one where she was a little too eager to help? Please, do it on your own as much as we all did on our own, I used to think "why don't bloggers like to manifest for others?".

I understood it after that, the emotional baggage? That was traumatizing for me.

Either way, I also had one of my followers spam follow me on my private Instagram (which I don't know how) and started (tw) a slight talk of let's say, almost grooming.

Thank God it wasn't pictures, I don't know if it is considered that, but is it alright to be told (tw) that they'd like to f#ck me or what not? I'm uncomfortable to go into more details but that was the breaking point for me, seeing almost 40 or something accounts spam messaging my requests no matter how much I block them, kept making more accounts.

I. Was. Horrified.

That's when I snapped, that was my last resort, I hated everything, I hated it all, I blocked all the current accounts, deleted my Instagram account, shut my blog off and started neglecting myself heavily and got back again into a depressing state, where I thought that's it, I'm cursed, wasn't I?

I burnt out so bad.

I genuinely believe it was the worst year of my life, even when I turned 16, everything got wrecked, the life I built and tried to maintain it fell apart, one of my friends backstabbed me so hard, I just gave up on manifesting and the void, which was something I wanted so much every night, wishing or begging anyone listening to help me, scrolling hours in Tumblr trying to find something helpful.

When I turned 17, this was my healing stage.

I may have slight tears in my eye, or I may sound dramatic, but oh god I am so glad to be here where I am now, I love myself, I seriously feel so bad and emotional for my younger self, if only, oh if only I could go back to hug her and tell her to live her teenage life, but I couldn't, I took life too seriously at that time and told myself I was cursed, only in the summer of 2024 I got back to my manifesting mindset, without Tumblr.

At 17, I started fixing myself, I gently loved myself, I started throwing the pedestal of the void away, I treated everything in front of me as a miracle, I loved myself, helped myself, took myself back on my feet and I gave myself time.

Time is something a lot of people here are annoyed by, it does not exist, so why are you bothered to give yourself some of this "nonexistent" time to heal yourself? I know some might say it's hard to love yourself, guys please.

Just love that small part of you that is still standing, that was shown the void and shifting and anything else for a reason, at 17 I started seeing results from everywhere again, I gained popularity, I built myself, I helped myself, trusted the law of assumptions, and my mindset had grown.

Now, I'm healed.

I no longer do this just to "get out of this" or "to escape everything", I do it for myself and because I know I deserve it, I don't place it up, I place it within reach like an apple waiting to be picked.

Everyone reading this, if you have come so far, do not give up, but of course.

It's your choice, no one can beg you to come back to your life, it's your choice my love.

I hope everyone in any situation my deepest and my most tender love to them, wether you're shifting, premashifting, rebuilding yourself with the void, changing everything.

Please thank yourself for staying strong and reaching here for so long, some say they've been doing this for 2 years, some say one.

I went on strong for 6, and I am glad I did, and I realized it all falls in your hands, I could've done it all by the first year, heck, even the first month, so my loves, my last piece of advice:

Love yourself, thank yourself, and ease yourself, let the apple fall, and not your hand that was straining for the apple.

Xoxo. Coco

[lilianade-comics]

desperately trying not to crash out and deactivate my Tumblr before the DP fantasy zine drops

[adustoflove]

Being bored almost feels like being burned alive when you have bpd

[lonely-parrot]

Please people

Comment on ao3

Anything

We're starving 😭

[toskabi]

talking to the void.

hoping someone listens

even if it's just a ghost.

[ailithnight]

Just saw a tag someone reblogged with and I...

Do y'all think the DPxDC fandom is dead? Dying?

How do you miss a fandom that is still here?

Y'all do understand that fandoms only die when people stop interacting with them, right?

And, I'll admit, I haven't been seeing as many round robins and prompt fills lately as there was a year or so ago. And that's been a bit sad. But, fuck, life is hard; from what I can tell, many of us are adults; we're living through some pretty major events right now; and sometimes interest and hyperfixations come and go. Can't fault anyone for not being here and interacting as much as before.

Besides, for every username I feel like I haven't seen in a while, I've seen 2 or 3 new (or new to me) names pop up and start posting and reblogging quite a bit. I think we're hardly dead if there are still people to discover still posting.

I don't know, it just... feels dismissive I guess. I'm still here at least. Still reaching out. Been reblogging a lot of stuff lately from myself, hoping something'll reach someone new who wants to add on and keep it going. Cause that's always been my favorite part of this fandom. The back and forths and round robins. Bouncing ideas around and building something new out of the old blocks.

You don't gotta miss it. I'm still here and I know some other folks are too and all those old blocks, the prompts and headcanons and aus and round robins. S'all still here, just waiting for people to come and play with us.

[yandere-sins]

you guys ever feel so unloved that not even the yandere fanfiction hits anymore? :/

[zukosdualdao]

the “just following orders” crowd when it comes to azula is so aggravating to me at this point. A) you realize that line’s been used to attempt to justify atrocities throughout history, right? it’s not the flex you think it is.

B) so many of these people show their hand because they apply that ‘logic’ to azula but not zuko. and to be clear—they shouldn’t! zuko trying to capture aang may be “following orders” but it’s still wrong. the difference is that zuko actually LEARNS this and atones for it. a huge part of his arc is realizing he CAN’T justify the wrong he’s done by following his father’s orders.

so the hypocrisy is kinda staggering.

[affixjoy]

Thinking today about how fucking BORING chronic pain is. In the last few months my endometriosis pain has been ramping up again, and I’ve been having more days with pain than without. Most of the time, like today, it’s just enough to be annoying, sap my energy, and distract me from whatever I want to actually be doing.

And yeah, it sucks to be in pain and be tired all the time. But it’s also so so boring. It’s boring for me and it’s boring for everyone around me. It makes me feel bored and it makes me a boring person to be around.

[cloud-ya]

just me and my pet against the world

[randolyrandom]

The stars between (VotV fanart)

[meowthiroth]

...chat, I may be cooked.

heyyyy so if anyone in/around Wisconsin is looking for a roommate in the next couple months, please hmu! Landlord at my current place decided he doesn't want tenants anymore & I need to move out by June 30th, and I'm still not really sure where to go because everywhere else in my local area is either full up or way out of my budget.

I'm clean, quiet and pretty low-maintenance as a roommate, and although I mostly keep to myself, I'm friendly & easygoing and I can get along with pretty much anyone. I would ideally like to stay somewhere in (or at least close to) Wisconsin if possible.

My current workplace is offering to let me use their employee housing while i work on nailing down something else, but I'd like to avoid that becoming long-term if possible.

If anyone nearby has space for me or knows someone who does, please shoot me a DM. otherwise boosting would be greatly appreciated :)

[mikufanclub]

i dont caaaaaare about drawing for fun rn which is so sad cus i feel like if im not drawing my life means like nothing. i dont amount to much but it gives me a sense of.. feeling good idk.. validation..... progression... i need to be put down

[itsdrkel]

It's sad to see how the Voices of the Void become such a gross fanbase. The whole fanbase have become litter with NSFW and Gooners. I genuinely don't get why out of all games, a wage slave simulator has such a degenerate community. I mean. Nose himself is a degenerate who think sex is somehow funny. It's pretty annoying and I could probably count how many times nose has said sex randomly in the server or make a sex reference. But the whole issue comes when the fanbase, and discord server have a lot of minors. People there, and there are adults in the same community being extremely weird publicly. And then there is Erie that he inserted the game. I didn't think too much of the character until dev continuously shove the character in the game over and over again. I can't be the only one who is getting weirded out and annoyed to see that same character being added as a naked statue, a plushie, a kerfur skin and now a bikini model. And what I heard from other people that Erie is this fetishized sex character that the dev have become so obsessed with. Don't anybody else find this bad? The fanbase is full of minors and Nose is planning on putting it onto steam. Once the game is mainstream, shit will get out of hand so badly.

[maryymaruu]