#we always can be kinder to ourselves

[tightjeansjavi]

Kind PSA that it’s okay to feel tired. To feel burnt out

It’s okay to feel like you need to be alone to process your feelings

It’s okay to reach out and ask for help

It’s okay to feel sad

It’s okay to feel angry

It’s okay to be passionate

It’s okay to feel like you’re doing your best, even when our brains tell us that we aren’t

It’s okay to take a break

It’s okay to rest

It’s okay to vent

It’s okay to watch your comfort show/movie a million times

It’s okay to stay in and have a quiet evening

It’s okay to cry

It’s okay to feel hurt

It’s okay to ask for reassurance that you are doing good

It’s okay to get yourself a little treat everyday

It’s okay to walk away

It’s okay to set boundaries

It’s okay to hold yourself accountable

just remember to hold some compassion for yourself. You’re doing just fine. I know sometimes it’s hard to be positive when you feel like everything is awful. I’ve had to teach myself that sometimes allowing myself to just feel, is better than keeping it bottled up.

Take care of yourselves,

-Gi

My inbox is always open

[noxtivagus]

that spoken word i wrote back in gr 9 for english class about relating to the moon is still to relevant in the present n i love it so much

[violet-snail-sfw]

The first time I saw a trans woman was in porn. I was pretty young then, in early middle school I think. My first thoughts about trans women only existed in a sexual context, since that was the only place I saw us mentioned

The next time I saw trans people mentioned was a TV show presumably about trans people and transitioning. I didn't watch it, only saw the description because even as a kid I had already internalized the idea that it was taboo and I would get in trouble if my parents walked in and I was watching it

Eventually I saw enough TV and cop shows to see an episode with the dead trans hooker trope. It further reinforced the building idea that trans women were something else, separate from "normal" people and always on the outskirts of society

And then Caitlyn Jenner came out. At my Catholic middle school there were few kind things said about her and plenty of nasty comments, but this was the first time I saw trans people being publicly talked about

In high school my views on trans people started to fracture. On one hand, I was being pushed the idea that gender was about what's in your pants, that if you've got a dick your a man and there's nothing that can be done about it. On the other hand, early high school me had stumbled across some gender change erotica and quickly became obsessed with it. While it wasn't great representation, it was still pretty positive about transitioning. The people in those stories were always happier afterwards

I struggled to reconcile what parts of society were saying about trans people with my daydreaming about what I'd do if I woke up the next morning as a girl. Eventually I decided that it was just a fetish. I just thought it was hot, there was no way I could be trans because I was just a normal person. I wasn't weird or a spectacle for others to gawk at, I was just a person

Around that time I also met a trans person in passing for the first time. One of the trans guys at my high school was in one of the musicals that I went to because some of my friends were also in them. When I was talking to my friends about it after someone mentioned the trans guy and that he was trans. I wasn't really sure what to think so I kinda just didn't think about it. Thinking back, there were a few trans guys at my high school but I don't think there was a single out trans woman

Eventually in college I actually met some trans and nonbinary people. In some classes we introduced ourselves on the first day with names and pronouns which was my first exposure to people using pronouns other than just he/him and she/her. I had a few classes with trans and nonbinary people, including a survey of transgender studies class I took in my last semester. I had plenty of excuses for why I was taking it (I needed a few more credits to graduate. It still had room open. It fit with my other classes. It seemed interesting. I'm trying to be a good ally.)

Around this time as well I found some trans creators online like ContraPoints and Philosophy Tube (whom I had watched before she came out as trans). I was weirdly excited and interested when Odyssey Eurobeat came out as trans and I went to go listen to some of her music right after I heard. I was starting to have examples of trans people just being people. Not just porn stars or public spectacles, but people

Later I met and befriended a few trans women, one of whom was extremely open about her transness and happened to share a video which started the initial steps of my egg cracking and figuring out who I am now

If I had actually known any trans women, if the world had been kinder to trans people, if representation of trans women as people existed and was well known, I might have been able to realize who I was sooner. I would have been able to exist as myself for more than a tiny fragment of my life so far

Representation matters, both in media and in daily life. Trans people being out and open about who they are made it possible for me to realize that about myself. Please never stop being who you are

[sixteenth-days]

for the fanon swap: vex joe hills?

"Are you going to stop following me," Cleo said, keeping her eyes forward. She could still smell the lingering reek of burning flesh and woodsmoke, clinging to her clothes. She needed a bath, was what she needed.

"Well, you did burn my house down!" the now-familiar chirpy voice answered from directly behind her shoulder. "I don't have anywhere else to return to!"

She gritted her teeth and swatted ineffectively at it. "That doesn't mean I want you around!"

"I can tell!" the vex said. "But, you know, they always say the road is kinder with a friend."

"We're not friends."

"We could be!" the vex said encouragingly. Cleo strongly considered just killing herself to return to spawn. Sure, she'd lose all the carefully stacked and hard-won resources in her inventory, but on the other hand, at least she wouldn't have to deal with- "We haven't even been introduced yet. What's your name?"

"I'm not telling you that," she grumbled, checking her coordinates again. Oh, she had a long walk ahead of her yet.

"Mine is Joe! Pleasure to meet you."

She blinked, and, against her better judgement, finally glanced over her shoulder to look at him. "I didn't know vex had names."

"Mostly they don't!" Joe agreed. "But I'm a believer in self-determination! Descartes said that the only thing you can be certain of is yourself. For me, it stands to reason that we should better understand ourselves to better understand the world around us! So I decided to get a name."

She stared at him for a moment, baffled.

"I'm Cleo," she said, eventually.

"Cleo!" he said, and grinned, all tiny sharp teeth, "I am delighted to make your acquaintance."

[the-cat-and-the-birdie]

Hobie Brown & Non-Conventional Relationships

How to Write Hobie in Non-Conventional Relationships - & How I incorporate it into my own writing

{Non-Conventional Relationship Abbreviated as NCR}

This is Part 2 - Check out Part 1 here if you want! Hobie Brown is unconventional is every way - and he likes it that way. From his music to his views, Hobie is always ready to challenge the norm - choosing to look for healthier, kinder, and freer alternatives.

And that extends to his romantic relationships too.

I talked HERE about Non-Conventional Relationships, the lack of them in fics, what they could look like for Hobie, and how they're a reflection of his values - including his feminism.

In that one, I wanted to talk about why Hobie needs Non-Conventional Relationships, and I analyzed why NCRs are so scarce within the Hobie fandom (hint: it's sexism). I also spoke about how I purposely designed my Spidersona - DiscoSpider Diane - with subversion of a sexist trope in mind, and how we as a fandom can write healthier 'Y/N's.

But I also wanted to talk about - and give clear examples of how a NCR might work for Hobie, and how to write it in fanfiction.

This is a Writer's Guide to writing Hobie Brown in NCRs, and writing 'Y/N's that challenge the norm. As well as how I apply these tips directly in my own writing with Hobie.

[I offer tips and writing advice as well as the ways I use these tips in my writing. I touch on alternative forms of affection, intimacy, polyamory, independence, and labels] Heads Up!! This post is LONG and Detailed. At the end, I have a full deep dive and analysis of my Spidersona DiscoSpider Diane, Hobie, and their NCR - feel free to pass on that if you want or check it out if you're curious or want an example :)

I hope someone out there finds this helpful or at the very least, entertaining! With that said,

Let's Begin~~~~~~~~

Hobie Brown & Affection:

Showing and valuing alternative forms of affection can be a great foundation for Non-Conventional Relationships. There's a wide array of ways to express affection in a relationship - ranging from full on playfulness and messing with each other - to being romantic but only in private. And anywhere in between. In order to challenge stereotypical romance, here's where we can start.

First things first: Cut the generic pet names One of the most common things across all Hobie fics, are generic pet-names. It's hard to find a fic without one 'luv', 'darlin', or 'sweetheart'. And it makes sense, it romantic - and a classic way to show affection. But it can be easy to use these terms as a crutch to infuse romance into dialogue. A good way to diverge from this convention is by dropping the generic pet-names all together. By abandoning words like 'luv' and 'darlin' we're forcing ourselves to find more personal terms for him to call his partner. Hobie calls Gwen and Miles personalized pet-names, and this can extend to his partner too. These names can be personal - When writing OCs, you can use things like inside jokes, a shortened version of their name, or some form of rhyming slang. Having something happen within the story that Hobie pulls a nickname from is also a great idea, or having him call them by a defining trait or something tongue in cheek. [Like if your character is known for being a bit gloomy, have him call them sunshine. If they sing, he can call them songbird, etc.] When writing xReaders, you can subvert typically 'negative' terms into loving and playful names. For example, if the !Reader is portrayed as shy, he may loving call her Mouse Whisper. If they're hotheaded, he may just call them 'hot-head'. But by having personalized pet-names, the reader is shown that Hobie and them have history and past connections that Hobie finds meaningful.

Annoyance can be affection too I talked about this HERE We all love attention from our partners - some just seek it out in different ways. Annoying ways. And I can see Hobie being one to do this - Adorable, but annoying ways. Playfulness is a great way to substitute romance in NCR. We all know those relationships where they love messing with each other or pissing each other off. Having inside jokes about each other, or teasing in a way only the other person is allowed to. It's never mean, but in a way, a form of intimacy. And when romances are written like this, it shows that the two know each other well, down to the smallest things that make them tick. They know each other well, and have a clear soft spot for each other when one starts bugging the other and the other doesn't snap (lol). When writing, you can give them small pet peeves that Hobie may do to irk them. When writing OCs, Hobie can give them nicknames that irk them. Or point out things that annoy them. Maybe he likes a food they hate, and eats it in front of them all the time. It's all in good fun, and shows the two aren't shy around each other. You can also have them bring up embarrassing stories of each other, to show they're close and spend a lot of time together. When writing xReaders, you can have him popping up at the worst times, hanging off of the reader, and overall trying to distract them from what they're doing. He could also play light pranks to mess with the reader - and vice versa - always making sure to end it with a hug and a laugh. At the end of the day, it's all about getting their partners attention and playing around with them. And talking about that -

Touch as a Love Language: Don't be afraid of playfighting Some IRL couples playfight. And it can be adorable. If the pestering goes to far, then the reader finally has to give him all their attention - and they can playfight him. Which is what he wants, their attention. This is something that can be done with both OCs and xReaders - and if they're a Spider-person EVEN BETTER. Don't be afraid to have Hobie pick the reader up, having the reader jump on his back, or punch his arm lightly. Having them wrestle for something, and it can turn into cuddling. The character can jump on his back playfighting, and doom - Hobie's running and it's a sudden piggyback ride.

While on the topic of Love Languages: Laughter as a Love Language Laughter can be a HUGE love language. In addition to annoying their partner, some people aim to making their partner laugh whenever they can. Whether this be making jokes, or doing things they think are hilarious. Not only is is super playful - but it shows that they're close and know each other well. They know what they other think is funny, what's sure to get a laugh, and most importantly, when their partner needs it the most. It shows that they care about their partner's happiness, and they want to bait it out them every way they can - even if that means making themselves look silly from time to time again. This is one of my favorite tools when writing NCRs and it works for both OCs and xReader.

If really want to challenge yourself and show a new form of romance: Abandon 'I love you.' Ever heard of Han Solo and Princess Leia? The whole "I love you." - "I know." trope? Saying 'I love you' is of course one of the easiest ways to show love - but when we abandon it, we can find cuter and more personal things to replace it. In doing this we begin to show a NCR relationship that openly challenges romance. By doing away with 'I love you's in favor something personal, we're showing that their feelings go beyond 'love' into something more personal and intimate to them. They can still be madly in love and not say it - it can be completely unspoken cause they both know. And so, they don't take it too seriously. When writing OCs, you can replace the phrase completely, substituting it with a repeated phrase on both sides. "I hate you" also works as a playful subversion. When writing xReaders, you can have the other side not respond the usual way - "I love you." - "Uh-huh." Or you can have them not say it at all. And have it completely but clearly emotionally implied.

Hobie Brown & PDA:

Hobie is a natural touchy guy. He likes standing close to people, leaning over them and putting his hands on their shoulders. So by having him display limited romantic PDA with his partner, and treating them no different than anyone else, you're challenging the norm and forcing yourself to write other ways.

Prioritize Privacy Hobie is often (or rather only) characterized as a very open person with his relationship, openly kissing, making out, and touching his partner. And this is very typical of a romantic relationship. If you'd like to write a NCR you can try to challenge this. Hobie is from a police state, a world where surveillance is prevalent and freedom is limited. Plus he's a rockstar - people get nosey. And don't even get me start on The Society snooping. You can reflect this by having him prioritize privacy - either out of survival instinct, or just personal preference. Hobie keeping his relationship a secret, or simply not mentioning it, allows a freedom not often see in traditional relationships. By doing this, the relationship can develop naturally without typical pressures or outside influence - whether dangerous or Society wise. The two are allowed to take it as slow - or as fast as they want, without worrying about anyone else getting in the way. And with Hobie being a guy who likes to share often, him keeping one small thing to himself can be special. This can be used for both OCs and xReaders.

Keep Kisses in Private Stealing kisses can be extremely cute, and saving them for private can make them 10x more intimate. Plus this is another one that can be used by both OCs and xReaders. By saving kisses for private moments, those rare instances automatically become more intimate. And by having them restrain themselves, when they do finally get to be alone it can feel romantic (not just sexual). By having them save their kisses for only them, they become more special to Hobie and his partner. They may choose to not kiss at all in public and leave it at that or try to steal kisses when they can - or even substitute a different form of intimacy in place of kisses. Ever see that couple that one of them will walk by the other, and one person will put their hand in the other's for a moment as they pass by before letting go? Like that. Cheek kisses can also be a good substitute for public. Plus in the rare times they do kiss in front of someone, you can save it for super emotional or heated moments (or moments like parties, bars, etc - those are always fun. The gang finding out the two of you have been dating a year after you both get drunk at a party and make-out? Love it.)

Or you can take it over the top - and make it openly committed and intimate, but label-less. Having a partner he kisses, hugs and lives with but does not refer to as his girlfriend also challenges norms of possessiveness - bonus points if they're poly (which I'll touch on in a second). By having him clearly involved with someone, and seriously committed but having it between them can be a NCR. The character doesn't have to be his girlfriend or boyfriend. That can simply be 'his person' or 'the one'. Or he's 'seeing somebody' - or 'with them'. He's not outright saying they're dating, but yeah - they're solidly involved. They may have a kid together, sleep in the same bed, or say 'I love you', but by both parties rejecting labels, they're openly denying people an inside look to their relationship. Are they together? What's that got to do with you?

Or have them be 'life partners' aka - marriage without marriage. This one may be easier to develop for OCs, but can be done for xReaders too. Have them openly express interest in being each other's life long partners. Have them speak as if they're married, even if they aren't. By verbalizing this connection, they don't need rings or a wedding certificate to speak to them, because they openly say it as a form of PDA. Having them believe in soulmates, or 'other halfs' takes the 'caring boyfriend' trope and pushes it into something far more intimate and personal. This could include things like matching tattoos, sharing a home together, wearing things of each other's in place of a ring, etc.

Hobie, Labels, and Polymory (Open Relationships)

Every single fic I've seen of Hobie assumes both parties are monogamous. Let's challenge that.

Do away with the idea of Hobie and jealousy It's unrealistic for his character. Hobie is openly supportive, non-possessive, and EXTREMELY confident. Jealousy is an attribute that feeds off of insecurity first, and sexist tropes of possession second - the idea of having no one touch 'your' partner. Any partner Hobie has isn't his - no one belongs to any one. They can be with whoever and do whatever they want when he's not there. So long as he sees his a priority in your life, he'll be there. Let's just hope the OTHER guy is okay with that (and not extremely intimidated by how perfect Hobie is). This applies to both OCs and xReaders.

Open the relationship - and keep it honest The priority when writing this is honesty - because Hobie values it A LOT. And I cannot stress this more. If his partner is honest with him, and genuinely makes an effort to make him a priority, then Hobie is happy. Hobie himself may not choose to have multiple partners, but by having option on the table and having his partner exercise that shows a huge degree of maturity, communication, and freedom. By having a partner who can openly pursue romance outside of Hobie, but still chooses Hobie as their primary partner, their relationship becomes a lot freer, but still just as close - if not stronger. Sure they've got options, and sometimes they may have flings, but at the end of the day, there's no one they connect more with than each other. Better with OCs, but can be done with xReaders.

Let his partner have the last say Hobie can't be a player if he's not the one calling the shots. Have a xReader or OC that is openly outspoken about what they want and the label they're interested in. (even if thats 'unlabeled) Have the reader be the one who doesn't want to make it official, or on the inverse, have them insist that either they make it official or else they'll stop seeing them. And have them stand their ground. Do not have them budge or waiver or second-guess. Have them leave the ball in Hobie's court - and sort it out for himself. By doing this you're giving them a sense of agency and independence outside of him, and inverts the sexist expectation that men be the ones who define the relationship.

In the words of Coi Leray "Cause Girls is Players too." Kick slut-shaming in the teeth. Where are all the city girls? Directly challenge sexist tropes that are prevalent in the Hobie fandom, by writing a female character who is openly and sexually liberated, knows her worth, and knows how to handle her feelings. Have her be the one seeing multiple people, have him be the one to pass the guy on the way out. Its not more shameful when the character does it. If you want to make Hobie a player who can run game - acknowledge that some girls run game too. And many girls can call that shit from a mile away. Having a character who has multiple partners, but slowly finds themself falling for Hobie in specific is an interesting dymanic. It forces you to show a woman's sexuality in a different and positive light, one not connected to her lust for a specific man. And it forces you to challenge the idea of 'fast girls' or 'groupies'. Ever seen 'She's Gotta Have It' by Spike Lee? That. And you can have her other partners acting as a contrast to Hobie. If she starts realling her other partner really ain't shit - Hobie starts looking a lot better. And let me just say - this doesn't have to cause drama. Having Hobie and the character both be polyamorous, only to connect with each other and laugh about their other escapades can be CUTE. And neither are threatened, because they know it's all in good fun, and they know they've got their partner on lock.

Find alternative labels Take 'boyfriend and girlfriend' off the table and get creative. They can be life partners, or Best Friends with Benefits (who are genuinely friends, stay that way and are not just thinly vieled romantic tension), or the xReader/OC can simply 'his girl' or 'his guy'. By doing this, you're able to put a label on it, without taking it serious at all. It signals that there is something there and they know it, and they don't need normal terms to define it. Good for both OCs and xReaders.

Hobie & Gender Roles

Chivalry is dead. Romance your boyfriend to death.

I spoke in the last post of about Hobie's feminism and his understanding of the patriarchy and the way it works. And I think Hobie would work to openly defy gender roles in his relationship. Here's are some tips to do that.

Have the xReader or OC initiate the romance Have them confidently ask him out. Have your OC or xReader be the one to approach him at a party and hit on him. Just by doing so, you're putting your characters in a situation that subverts gender roles - where the many is typically the one to approach his mate. It shows confidence on the part of the xReader/OC and let's them step outside the traditional trope of a passive feminine partner.

Have them initiate touch/affection as well Have them touch him first, or wrap their arms around him. Have them kiss his neck (if they can reach lol). Instead of having a shy and quiet xReader who only accepts compliments from Hobie - have them openly and boldly compliment him. A girl who openly loves her partner/boyfriend and yeah- she's gonna talk about him cause she can. Have them call him pet-names first. And show Hobie enjoying it or feeling comforted by it. In doing so, you're allowing him to show a softer side that is also absent in a lot of fics. Plus you're breaking the trope of once again, the partner just passive accepting Hobie's affection without active reciprocation.

Actively show Hobie being comforted and taken care of - not just when he's in crisis Have the character ask if he's okay - in the way a couple will look at each other and be like "You good?" even when nothings going on. Have the character be the one to ask if he's eaten. Don't only do this when he's about to emotionally crack, or when he's physically beat up. Do it on the daily. Men shouldn't have to break before their emotional needs are addressed. So often in fics Hobie is seen as the perfect protector who never gets tired - and then there's no mention of him ever taking care of himself in any way. That's now how this works. Hobie is community based. That means he looks after the people he care about. If the character cares about him, they have them go out of their way to show it - the same way he does. The xReader/OCs can hold him while he's crying or make him go to sleep when he's up all night. They can hear him out when he's annoyed with Miguel, and help him when he's feeling not 100% too. SO many fics are about the reader NEEDing Hobie for some often asinine reason. Sometimes Hobie needs his partner too.

________________________________________________

HI HI! If you've read this far, thank you so much! I really appreciate it and would love to hear your thoughts! The next part is centered around my spidersona Disco-Spider Diane, her relationship with Hobie, and how I incorporate all this into their dynamic. This part is LONG and detailed (I'm unhinged) so I don't blame you if you wanna peace out now! If you do peace out, thanks again! - here's a photo of Hobie for the road!

_______________________________________________________ Now let's talk about Lil Miss Disco and her Boo Thang

DiscoSpider Diane and Hobie -

How I write a Non-Conventional Relationship For more info you can check out Diane's Character Sheet here and her tag here

I spoke briefly in my last post about Hobie, feminism, and how subverting sexist tropes contributed to her characterization - so this time I just want to give an overview of how that translates to a NCR - and how that can be shown clearly in writing.

Hopefully this will give some ideas or at the very least, I can ramble about Diane lol Diane & Hobie - A Basic Overview

[You can check out Diane's Character Sheet here!][And check out her tag for more art & writing here!]

I don't have a word for what Diane and Hobie are supposed to be, and that's intentional.

They aren't dating. Because they don't go on traditional dates - they just hang a lot. They're not boyfriend and girlfriend because that's rigid in it's confines. Even partners can be a bit of a stretch. I wanted to write them instead as two people who care about each other and make an effort to be in each other's lives. They're the other's largest emotional support and cheerleader - and their emotional reactions take focus over the romantic ones.

Diane and Hobie have a Non-Conventional Romance because they're in an emotional relationship rather than a romantic one. There is romance there - but the same way a romantic relationship isn't a 'sexual relationship' because sex is involved - an emotional relationship does not become entirely romantic once romance is involved.

Their emotional relationship is very committed, but their romantic relationship is extremely casual. Here are some ways I show that.

DiscoPunk & Affection:

Diane and Hobie do not use typical pet-names. Instead, Hobie is more likely to call Diane 'Daiquiri' - a nickname left over from the first time they've met. It's an embarrassing memory for Diane - and a story Hobie loves to tell. But by calling her Daiquiri, he's sending the reminder that he thinks about the night they met often and remembers it well. Including the 4 Daiquiris she made him buy her. He also calls her Clover - as she's one of his 'Lucky Charms'. Diane is the same, preferring to call Hobie by his name - or over the top names like 'pookie', 'honeybun', or 'hot stuff'. Though the most common she'll default to is 'babe', though she will only do this will they're completely alone. Hobie openly annoys Diane and she lets him. Diane is easy to mess with, easy to sneak up on and easy to confuse (sorry girl). It's easy for him to make her jump if he's too quiet, and despite being fairly outgoing, Disco gets embarrassed easily. Sharing constant silly stories, calling her embarrassing nicknames and ruffling her perfectly manicure hair, are go to ways to piss her off. And you can usually tell when she asks "Am I playing with you? Does it look like I'm playing right now??" In turn, Diane does her 'groupie act', which involves running up and hugging him hard as hell, jumping on his back, or talking about how cute he is in a baby voice while pinching his cheeks. They playfight A LOT. Hobie is known to come up behind Diane, lovingly slipping his arms around her waist. He lifts her up - and then tries to bodyslam her. He's holding her like he's about to do a judo flip and Diane is shoving at him telling him to cut it out. In turn, Diane likes to run at him from a far and jump on his back, and she's known to punch his shoulder if he gets too cheeky with the jokes. (Thank god they both have Spider Strength). And while they may not be quick to cuddle or hold each other in public - if Hobie is asking for it they WILL wrestle, and with matched strength, they don't stop until someone (usually Jess) tells them to cut it out. And Laughter is one of their biggest Love Languages. Hobie LOVES making Diane laugh - mainly because it's such a spectacle. Diane will scream and cry in laughter, doubled over so hard she has to sit down or leave the room. And for Hobie, it's easy to do this, so he does it whenever's the most inappropriate. Him dancing is a HUGE way because it brings Diane to tears almost instantly, without fail. She begs him to stop cause she can't breathe - she's laughing so hard. Hobie refuses and keeps dancing, just to mess with her. On the inverse, when Diane does it, most of the time she doesn't mean to. Diane is clever, but she's blunt and a little.. easy to confuse. And when she blurts something out or asks a question that sounds a bit ridiculous, Hobie can't help but laugh. Like when she saw Peter B. unmasked for the first time, and immediately asked him "Wait, why are you white?" Hobie will almost away burst into laughter, which is usually followed by Diane going "Whatttt? What did I say? Why are you laughing at me :(' Everytime she does this she is completely serious, which Hobie finds even funnier. If she's confused, he'll try to explain it to her, and he never teases her for it. It's just that Hobie chooses his words very carefully, and Diane says exactly what comes to mind.

They very rarely say 'I love you' and only do it in private. Usually, they'll only say this when one of them is going through it, the other just did something awesome, or they're alone and in a good mood. It reserved for moments of intimacy or spontaneity. With a relationship that is so playful, the two of them would probably think that saying it outright is a bit too sappy and plain. Instead, they substitute it by asking the other if they love them -

If Hobie does something for Diane, instead of Diane saying "I love you", Hobie will be the one to say "Don't you love me?" If Diane does something for Hobie, instead of him saying "I love you", he can swap it with "You must love me." (Usually the other person may say "I do" or an equally loving "Shut up.")

DiscoPunk & PDA:

They prioritize privacy. They don't label themselves - to anybody, even close friends. They let people make their own assumptions because it doesn't matter anyway. Plus with Diane being very committed to her place in the Spider Society, it's preferable to just keep it between them. Hobie doesn't really care either way. But the less people bothering him and asking questions, the better.

Diane and Hobie never kiss in front of other people. Save for a few exceptions. Despite being very physically and playfully affectionate, Hobie and Diane choose to keep most of their PDA completely private - and they're more likely to link arms than hold hands. When it comes to kissing, the two saves it for behind closed doors, or hidden spots in HQ. With relationships between Spider-people being prohibited at HQ, it's just easier that way - and the both of them prefer it. This even extends to close friends, including Pavi and Gwen. They may dramatically kiss the other's cheek to annoy them, making kissy sounds and grabbing each other's faced - and on occasion Hobie may give Diane a forehead kiss (she's tall enough to do this). They may cuddle in front of others too, but that's about it. But kisses in specific are just for them. Wasn't a conscious choice, but they like it that way. There's two exceptions though: 1) Shortly after meeting Hobie, Gwen ran into Hobie and Diane kissing at a hidden spot on campus. Nothing heated, but kissing. Diane felt her looking and seemed very disturbed and uncomfortable she had seen. Gwen left quickly, and although Hobie assured Diane that Gwen was okay, the two of them didn't meet until a later date, and Diane seemed a bit embarrassed.

2) Parties. After shows and while drinking Hobie and Diane are completely fine making out in public and showing full PDA. Why? Because they have the cover of the 'groupie act' and they can argue that they were drunk and were only messing around or even say they straight up don't remember. Their terms of commitment are unique. Neither Hobie (in my little universe) nor Diane believe in soulmates. But they do consider themselves 'committed', but they're not life-partners either. They don't care if they'll be together forever. The idea is nice, but it's not their focus. If they wanna spend their lives together, they can start but showing up for each up daily, rather than wearing rings daily.

DiscoPunk, Labels, and Polyamory:

Diane and Hobie are in an open relationship. Since they've never officially asked each other out, monogamy hasn't really been on the table ever. And both are fine and comfortable with this. Because they're great at minding their own business. Who's the girl leaving houseboat when Diane comes through? Who cares - but if touched the makeup Diane left on his bathroom counter, she'll be sending her an invoice and an angry letter. This is equal on both sides.

Diane is without a doubt more active, and more prone to one-night stands (she has a kink for guitarists) rather than full on relationships. Maybe it's the fact that having Hobie in the picture is intimidating as fuck to most guys.

Hobie also has his share - though he usually finds himself in flings and short relationships - going more for romance than sex. In fact, Hobie was with Diane for the duration of his relationship with his Felicia Hardy.

Naturally, Felicia and Diane knew about each other - though they hadn't met. Diane was fine with this and at most would ask how Felicia was doing. Felicia however really wanted to meet Diane. Like dying to meet her. So she found out Hobie's secret identity and just - turned up at one of his shows. Diane was...understandably confused. She was nice, but confused. Asked Hobie later like "Why's she here. Nothing wrong with it but like forreal why is she here?" and he's like "IDK I aint invite her m8 she always does this." Eventually the two got to know each other and although Hobie isn't with Felicia anymore (it's messy), her and Diane are still close friends.

Hobie perfers to let Diane have the last say when it comes to labels.

He's fairly unbothered. What's he gonna do - tell her he has to be her boyfriend? Or brush her off and still expect her to be there? Nah, Labels are the last thing he's worried about. And that's because he's fine with all of them. So long as they're clear. If avoided labels, and demanded to be label-less, that was still caring about labels.

This is where there's conflict - and instead of most fanfics in which the conflict is coming from him - in their case it's coming from her. Diane avoids commitment, terrified of the threat it could cause to the multiverse and Hobie's universe in specific. She's drank the society Kool-Aid so to speak, and will dance around the topic. Hobie has on occasion mentioned monogamy between them being a good option, but when directly approached, Diane will try to dance around the topic - mainly afraid of what Jess and especially Miguel will do if she falls out of line.

This, along with canon events, are the only things that can get them to actually argue - and it can sometimes decend into screaming matches (more about the Society rather than their relationship). They try to avoid bringing it up. But Diane is still paranoid and avoids it.

They use alternative labels instead. For sake of implicity, if you ask them directly "What is x to you?" Hobie will either say "Diane's my bird." or "Why do you want to know - You interested in me or her?" He may also say 'The Old Ball n' Chain' (mocking boomer humor) or simply say "That's Daiquiri."

Diane will most likely say "He's my little boo thang." She may also call him her 'hubby', or say 'I'm his biggest fan.'

WE'RE ALMOST DONE I PROMISE

Finally, DiscoPunk & Gender Roles

I wrote in the last post about how feminism and inverting the sexist trope of 'groupie' contributed a lot to Diane and her behavior towards Hobie. This can mostly be seen here:

Diane initiated the romance. Diane has always been Hobie's groupie, and outspoken in her affection for him. She thinks the girls hiding how much they like Hobie is silly - He KNOWS he's hot. Why not come out and say it - hype him up. Diane is also a way bigger flirt than Hobie - and I really wanted to write the two of them this way, because so much of the time Hobie is the one flirting, usually on a passive OC or xReader that simply passively accepts.

It's rare in dialogue that someone outright points out how hot Hobie is. So Diane does it. She was fine with being like "You're so hot it's distracting and that's not a joke. :) "

Diane usually initiates touch. Hobie rarely wraps his arms around her (unless he's doing that stupid judo shit she hates), but Diane does it to him all the time. She's tall enough on her skates that if she holds him by the waist from behind, she can see clearly over his shoulders. And it's not unusual to see Diane's eyes peek over Hobie's shoulder when you're talking to him. She's not listening, she's just there.

In turn, Hobie accepts this touch very much like the way an xReader would. He's usually the one intiating and offering touch, but when Diane does it him, he finds it comforting to be on the receiving side.

And I usually see this/show this as him softening into her touch, complimenting her for it, or baiting her into cuddling (like plopping down on her on the couch)

They supplement this a lot with closeness. Hobie and Diane always seem to be shoulder to shoulder, whispering inside jokes into each other's ears and trying not to crack up. Most often, Hobie with hput his arm around her shoulder, or if she's in her skates - a hand on her waist to steady her. Not that she needs it. Their relationship is mainly and largely emotional. And that's the basis of it. Hobie was the one who recruited Diane, and has been there for all of her canon events since, seeing her in her most venerable states.

Diane is dedicated to canon - and letting Miguel write her life for her - and although she finds herself conflicted and cornered by the Society, Hobie wants to be there for her always. And he'll be along for the ride as long as she'll have him. Diane in turn, tries her best to be positive when they're both from worlds where things can get really negative. No matter how much he tries to hide it, the constant battles and brutality with the police of his home world wears on him - and he's aware that he's different than most other Spider-people. He's killed before. Usually, he lets it out through his music and when it isn't that - it's through anger and protest. But like Hobie, Diane is a huge supporter of radical happiness. If you can think of Hobie's music as a call to arms, Diane's music is a love song to the sweeter brighter things in life. Diane was raised by The Black Panthers, and she knows just as well as he does what the brutality and pain of oppression can feel like. She has her feet firmly on the ground and her head happily in the clouds.

If anything, Diane is a person of comfort and escapism for Hobie. A reminder of the sweet life that he's fighting for. Diane lives completely free, free of labels and limits - even while living under the thumb of the Society. And she tries to remind Hobie what freedom feels like, when he gets tired of fighting every now and again _________________________________________________

In this way their emotional connection is mutual.

More than anything, I wanted Hobie and Diane to be emotional rocks to each other, before romantic partners. I didn't mean to write it that way (in my head), but it kinda ended up that way.

So often in the Hobie fandom we see the extremes of either Completely Detached Hobie - who sleeps around and wants nothing to do with labels - or Completely Committed Hobie - who is madly in love with his partner in a traditional sense. And in their relationship, I hoped to challenge that. By writing a Hobie than didn't care either way, or went with the flow. A Hobie that was just as thoughtful in his relationships as he was in his friendships. Instead, I wanted to shift the focus to Diane and making it about her choice. By having the woman be the one to define the relationship, the story can now focus on an internal struggle. And seeing his partner being the one to struggle with labels - whereas he's made peace with them.

And by having their affection shift more into playful - that was just because I think it's really funny. Hobie's a little shit.

All of this allows Diane and Hobie's relationship to be something based on mutal care and admiration for each other - rather than lust and clear-cut commitment.

They're able to be independent people, with independent lives and beliefs, while still being a large part of the other's life. They're able to excecise freedom in their situation, while still having an underlying conflict or struggle driving their story.

Hobie and Diane deeply care about and love each other, multiverse be damned. And even if they may not always see eye-to-eye, they're willing to put that aside if it means they have a chance at a peaceful future together - no matter what universe they're in.

They're not conventional, but they're in love. Cause I said so.

___________________________________________

So uh....yeah. That's how I incorporated Non-Conventional Relationships into my uhhh..deeply complex mental world that isn't written down yet besides glimpses in comics I make in photoshop.

If anyone read this far I will genuinely be so surprised, cause I literally just wrote an essay about their entire relationship lol

I feel like I could type anything down here and be safe cause it's hidden in a cattacomb full of TEXT like lemme just-

(I laughed at the second one til i crrriieeeddddd bro thats so foul)

But if you did read this all, thank you SO SO SO MUCH! As you can probably tell, I think about this a lot. And these characters mean a lot to me so I love sharing them when I can. I hope this helped someone and someone finds it helpful or at least entertaining! You rock <3

Writing this is normal, well-adjusted behavior. Cringe is dead.

Stream Diane and Hobie's album 'BackAlleyJazzLettuce' aka their Funk-Rock fusion ship playlist

Now take this photo of Hobie Kissy Kissy Face and get off my property.

Bye.

[cecilioque]

A Good Person]

<< Previous More Comics>>

I love Emmet as a character.  I look at all the interpretations and have come to the conclusion that Emmet’s PLA and post PLA story is always about grief and mourning.  The interpretations just focus on the different stages he might be in and the choices he might make.  There are some that portray Emmet as frustrated and bargaining for a way to find his brother. Some have him as hurt and cold from loss while others keep him in denial as he searches for answers.  We’ve seen plenty where Emmet is depressed and sad as well as a few about him coming to terms with his loss.

In my comic, the Emmet I portray is the one finally finding peace and learning to move on.  Granted, he has been reunited with his brother; but he still went through all the stages of grief emotionally.  As fun as it is to make this character really angsty, I really wanted to look at how grief can change a person to be better.  With loss we find compassion and empathy. We look within and then outside ourselves as we grow around our grief.  Grief never leaves us, we just grow bigger so that it isn’t the only thing filling us and we can fill our lives with other things again.

So this is just my little homage to Emmet as a character and how I perceive him and how I relate to him as I try to break down my own grief.  I want to believe that as hurting people we can heal. That we become kinder to ourselves and to others and that we allow ourselves to feel the pain but move forward.  For what is grief but all the unexpressed love we could not share with someone.  Over time, the burden turns into a gift we carry to the end of our lives.

[cinefairy]

move with love, not hate.

you cannot hate the person you are now to become the person you want to be.

often times we are our worst critics, we criticise everything about ourselves from the way we talk, walk and move around in the world.

we do this because we think we are not up to par with our peers and the people around us or what social media thinks society should behave like. i know personally for me i would set out a certain high standard for myself and whenever i failed to reach that standard i would just be absolutely cruel to myself.

this brought me nothing i wasn’t doing well mentally and i wasn’t doing well physically because i had battered myself with cruel words. hating myself was one of the worst things i ever done to myself. i ended up treating myself like someone who didn’t deserve love, respect and warmth when in fact i did deserve all those things (and still do).

and its not like i didn’t try to be happy & love myself, i tried many times. i looked deeply at myself in the mirrors trying to force myself. but thats the thing, i was forcing myself. would someone who truly loves themselves force it? no, self-love flows through effortlessly, without trying its a beautiful thing that doesn’t need to be forced but expressed naturally.

it was like a battle in my mind, i was fighting with myself. i never accepted, i never let go i was holding tightly to my own self-hatred and even more so i was hating myself for not getting better. for not thriving like others, i think i was so upset and hurt that i just wanted to continue fighting with myself. it was the only response i knew in stressful situations, it was like a reflex response.

it wasn’t until i made the decision to continue, despite it all where things started to look up for me. no i didn’t go on a rampage of self-love affirmations but instead i accepted myself as i am.

i accepted the things i was pushing down and hiding away from. i accepted that im not like other people and that everyone including me is on different journeys in their lives. theres no point in me comparing.

i accepted my messy and “unpolished” self. i accepted that i have crazy emotions that can override my rational self. i cant be horrible to myself over stuff like that i can only grow and be kinder.

“yes maya, right now you are messy, right now you are going up & down and living with a ton of emotions. that is what a normal human being is like.” — A snippet from my diary in February, 2020.

YES YOU ARE A HUMAN, YES YOU WILL MAKE MISTAKES. AND YOU ARE BOUND TO MAKE MORE MISTAKES. YES YOU HAVE FAILED. MANY, MANY TIMES. BUT THAT STILL ISNT A VALID REASON TO GIVE UP ON LIFE.

with this new acceptance i was finally able to let go with the old self. it didnt bring me down, i wasn’t holding onto it. it felt like a weight being lifted off my shoulders, it felt like i can finally be free. that im no longer in the shackles of my past, i released it and with that release came a new person evolving.

once i made this decision, i treaded lightly with myself. when things went wrong i wouldn’t immediately jump to dispute hate onto myself. when i implanted love in my routine i saw myself changing therefore the world around me was changing.

this new-founded acceptance allowed me to bring in pockets of love, i loved how i still had a long journey ahead of me. i loved how i still have so much time to grow. i loved how i can still have setbacks in my life but get up every morning and try again. i loved how the option of starting again and finding myself was always available.

hate brings nothing good, love brings all. love brings new meanings, new memories, new soul adventures, new ways to find things that you really love. new people. its a beautiful thing that we can all experience deeply.

[ao3commentoftheday]

Hello! Big fan of your blog, I'm really happy to see you ariund again, and I hope you're doing well!

I know you get a lot of questions about writing and comment, but do you maybe have any tips or advice for a writer struggling to respond to comments? I've managed to overcome being afraid to post, and I've received some lovely comments, but I got struck by a horrible new wave of anxiety that has me locking up when I want to reply to nice commenters. Now it's been a long time since the comments were made and I feel bad both for not answering more promptly but also for not posting since.

I hope that's okay to ask, I realized it may be a bit overly specific, and I apologize for that. ^^;

Oh anon, this isn't overly specific at all! You'd be surprised how many authors go through exactly this same thing, myself included.

I genuinely love responding to comments, and yet for the past several years it's been hard. Really hard. I still appreciate them. I still read and reread them. I still think about responding to them. I just... can't. My inbox grew to the size that just thinking about tackling the whole thing became totally overwhelming.

So instead, I just respond when I can.

When I'm rereading a fic and going back through the comments and I notice I didn't reply to one. When I get a comment notification in my email and I have a minute right then and I just type something right back. When I can't stop thinking about that question someone asked until I finally dig it out and answer it. When someone is just so lovely or friendly or enthusiastic, and I have the spoons to return their message in kind.

One thing I think it's important to remember is that a thank you or a heart emoji can go a long way to getting your message across. Another thing to remember is that a thank you can still be sincere when you've said it a thousand times.

We can really psych ourselves out of doing something by worrying about others judging us. But other people are often kinder to us than we are to ourselves. Ask most readers, and they don't care if a reply comes after 5 minutes or 5 months or 5 years. Hearing back from the author is appreciated - and if often prompts a reread of the fic.

Give yourself patience and understanding. Reply to the comments you're able to and forgive the ones you can't reply to yet. Maybe in time, you'll come back and have something to say. In the meantime, you can always add an end note to your fic saying that comments are appreciated and you'll reply when you can. ❤️

[vox-ex]

magic + spookycorp

supercorptober 2023

“Time expands, then contracts, all in tune with the stirrings of the heart.” ― Haruki Murakami

Or Lena learns to move through the world by actions at every distance. She fall in love with Kara somewhere along the way.

----

When she was little it made sense. The world made sense. And she fit neatly in it.

There was a predictability in it.

In days becoming nights becoming mornings. In peeling pages off the calendar on the wall her mother had hung in the kitchen.

There was a simplicity in it.

In the way it hurt when she tripped over the garden wall and scraped her knee. In how it felt better when her mother kissed the bandage she placed over the cut.

Time and gravity and love all falling into order.

Until the day they don't.

Her mother dies and she doesn't know why.

When she is four she is angry at the water.

She gets older she believe's in God just enough to hate him instead.

One day she learns to hate herself for it instead.

And even when see learns the truth of it, buried somewhere in the science of currents and silt and fluid dynamics — it is easier to keep hating herself.

But it is never really the nature of the universe we are angry at, but ourselves, and the conceptions we try to impose on it.

She tries to remember that.

Tries to ground herself in equations and numbers and theorems that reason with the intention every bit of cause and every bit of effect. The trajectory of planets, the dance of electrons, each with a purpose, a path.

She moves with them.

But less easily.

Less predictably.

Her motion through the world less elegant than the science she covers herself with — buries herself in.

She keeps moving though. Because what else is she to do. The universe pushes her forward with the rest of it.

It is a motion that is mechanical, constant — personal.

She collides with the world and it collides with her, over and over and over.

She tries to make herself bend to meet them, to stretch, to compress so that she can remain whole.

Sometimes the world hits her so hard she can still feel the marks on her skin.

She will learn that it is not always bad to be left changed.

She keeps moving. She keeps moving until moving feels less like she colliding with the world and more like falling through it.

Supergirl pulls her out of the sky.

Supergirl pulls her out of the sky and she doesn't know what to do with that.

She calculates odds and statistics and free body diagrams in her head.

She tries to ignore the feeling in the back of her head and somewhere louder in her chest that utters out quantum equations instead.

Tries to tell herself that this is not action at distance. This is not the movement of particles and quanta. This is one body meeting another — nothing more.

It is something more.

It is something more but action at a distance feels no kinder than action up close.

It is full of chaos and uncertainty.

She tries to fit it neatly into boxes.

Puts Kara neatly into a box too.

And even when the science makes sense, it feels too much like fate, like magic, to believe it.

It takes time to believe it.

It takes time and destruction and time again to be put back together.

The first light of dawn crept through the kitchen window, casting a warm glow over Lena's face as she sat at the table, the cup of tea between her hands keeping them warm against the Autumn air drifting in.

"Morning," Kara murmurs as she enters the kitchen, rubbing sleep from her eyes. The corners of Lena's lips turn up in a small smile at the sight of her

Good morning," she replies, taking a sip of her tea.

Kara stretched her arms above her head, the long figure of her body scattering the light on the floor. She pours herself a cup of tea and settls across from her.

Lena contemplated the predictability of it all – that the sun would rise, that they would find themselves at this table, that they would drink tea together.

It's easier to call it fate or magic.

But it was uncertainty that made it possible. The dance of particles and quanta, and for once she was not just their observer, but the result of their movements.

Lena reached across the table and took Kara's hand in hers. She could feel the warmth of her skin, the steady beating of her heart just beneath.

She gives it a small pull.

Kara leans forward at the motion.

They meet as they always seem to do.

As she always hopes they will.

Kara's lips meet hers, warm and familiar.

Her thumb traces the small scar that sits just behind her ear as her hands wander up to thread themselves in her hair.

She leans into her touch.

Bending, stretching, compressing — is made whole by it.

It feels like colliding.

It feels like falling.

It feels a little bit like magic after all.

----

read and follow along on Ao3 too

[void-of-unparalled-chaos]

Okay so time for me to dump my thoughts on the Underworld Saga because I am going insane and tbh I'm not sure how coherent this will be because my brain is mostly keyboard smashing.

The Shades: "When does a man become a monster? 558 men who died under your command. CAPTAIN! CAPTAIN! CAPTAIN! CAPTAIN! Why would you let the cyclops live when ruthlessness is mercy?"

Okay so the harmonies of the Shades are amazing! But also this whole bit is just so... haunting. The call back to Just a Man and Ruthlessness does something to me. Could you imagine being screamed at by the ghosts of everyone you've failed? Also Jay confirmed that the shades in this song are just repeating their final thoughts in life. They drowned begging for their Captain to help them and died wondering why he failed them. This probably fucked Odysseus UP.

Odysseus: "I keep thinking of the infant from that night. I keep thinking of the infant from that night."

I swear I can hear the PTSD in his voice holy shit. Also Astyanax's music box motif being played in church bells in the back. I never would have noticed it if not for Jay's behind the scenes videos but knowing it's there makes this bit so much better.

Odysseus: "Polities..."

I was not nearly as wrecked at this bit until I saw this post mentioning that Odysseus quiet little "Polities..." is a mirror of Polities strangled "Captain..." when he died and now I will never be the same.

Odysseus' Mom

I am not exaggerating when I say I cried during the watch party. Everything about this is heartbreaking. His mom was thinking about him in her final moments. "Odyssues when you come home I'll be waiting" except she wont be. The shocked defeat in Odysseus' voice with "I took too long...". He's right there in front of her, but her shade just doesn't register him. They are so close physically yet still separated by death. Also the fact that Jay's mom voices her that is so sweet omg.

The change from "Here in the Underworld the past seems close behind" to "But in the Underworld your past is always close behind."

STTAGKDUKFUTAATUFOUCOUXGJXG

THE STRINGS!!!!! AND THE PIANO!!!!

Tiresias' voice is so haunting omg

Mason absolutely NAILED prophet who is constantly being shown everything all the time at one I love it sm.

The lyrics in this song are just.... so good. And the foreshadowing is top notch

Jay's voice acting for Odysseus' is also great in this.

The distress and frustration in "We've suffered and sailed through the toughest of hells. Now you tell us ur efforts are for NOTHING?!" and the absolute anger in "WHO!?!?!" (Its you, Ody. See your about to go through a complete change in morals about 5 minutes from now and become a completely different person).

THE DESCENDING ORGAN FOR THE SECOND CHORUS MY JAW DROPPED

Jorge don't think I didn't notice the Hunchback of Notre Dame, Hellfire, vibes at the end I see you.

This is my favorite song released in Epic so far and I am not normal about it at all.

The GUITAR! THE ELECTRIC GUITAR!

For those unfamiliar and being dragged along this nonsense post, Odysseues character is associated with the guitar. The acoustic guitar is when he is softer, kinder, and more "human" while the electric guitar represents him at his most brutal, ruthless, and "monsterous". This song is his turning point to which he is done being merciful. He will do ANYHTING to get home.

"Oh Ruthlessness is mercy upon ourselves..."

Really taking Poseidon's lesson to heart there.

Odysseus: "AND IF I GOTTA DROP ANOTHER INFANT FROM A WALL IN AN INSTANT SO WE ALL DON'T DIE? THEN I'LL BECOME THE MONSTER! I WILL DEAL THE BLOW!... SO WHAT IF I'M THE MONSTER?"

Ayrsgstusigxjgsutaut holy shit holy shit holy shit-

Play this back to back with Just A Man for some psychic damage. What an end for Act 1!

[tightjeansjavi]

We’re days away from 2023 ending and I’m feeling so many things that I fear I can’t put into words the way I wish I could. I’ve been in this community for 10 months and it feels like just yesterday I was posting my very first Joel fic, BIAHD after watching TLOU and immersing myself in the Pedro fandom. 10 months of writing, of reflecting, of making friends, and losing some along the way. 10 months of the highs and lows that come with being deeply involved in a community.

Ever since I was little I always struggled to feel like I fit in somewhere. I never was a popular kid. I was the kid picked last for everything. The kid that would invite everyone to her birthday party only to be letdown when only a handful would show up. In highschool I was your stereo typical nerd. I played the violin, golf, and I was the horse girl. Better known to some as the “pizza faced horse girl.” I got bullied a lot. Felt like the outcast that no one ever wanted. I found myself feeling envious of the girls in highschool with boyfriends and dates to the school dances. I always found myself turning to the things I loved the most to feel like I was wanted. I read a lot, both books and fanfiction. I became an avid model horse collector and I felt like I was finally belonging somewhere. Going to college was probably one of the best decisions I ever made..and then Covid happened and I felt like I was starting from square one.

I have made so many friends on here. Both old and new, and I am forever grateful for every friendship I have here. I’m grateful that I can have a safe space to write the stories that speak to me and share them with all of you.

2023 has taught me some valuable lessons that I will be taking with me into 2024. Life is all about learning from your mistakes, holding yourself accountable and growing. And with that, life is also about the good times and all the accomplishments, big and small.

I am grateful to my fellow writers, readers and everyone in between that I share a space with, and even if we have never spoken, and only have seen eachother on the dash? I’m grateful for you as well.

My hope for 2024 is that we’re all kinder both to those we share a space with and to ourselves. Community spaces are so vital to the human experience and I hope that this one never dies off. I can’t wait to see what we all accomplish into the new year.

Thank you for your kindness, support, empathy, and love. Thank you for reminding me that I am wanted even during the times that I feel I am not. I appreciate every single one of you that are here.

I am especially grateful for the shared friendships with @angelofsmalldeath-codeine @5oh5 @loquaciousferret @cavillscurls @thetriumphantpanda @pascalpvnk @cayleejz @netherfeildren @chloeangelic @macfrog @corazondebeskar @morning-star-joy @joelsgreys @cupofjoel @romanarose @gracieispunk @strang3lov3 @cherubispunk @saradika @elvinaa @dinsdjrn and many many more 🤍

Here’s to 2024 and making new friends, to learning and growing, and sharing more stories.

I am wishing you all a very Happy New Year 🤍

-Gi

[bjyxobsessed]

Re: That Movie

I’m busy as hell with life right now so I wasn’t going to speak on it, but avoiding Xitter isn’t making it better. So here goes the long form version of my Hot Take™️ on That Movie WYB is in.

The pictures made me ill. Never thought I’d say that about Yibo, but apparently there really is a first time for everything. But my reaction to it is impacted by my own experience. I live in a country built on racism that’s never been overcome. Not that far from my city is a school whose mascot for many years was the “Chinks” - and still uses an oriental-style dragon as their logo. (And no, they do not have an Asian community to speak of.)

Just a hunch, people in China who aren’t bothered by the new movie would be bothered by that. And rightfully so!

Here’s the thing: racism and prejudice exist all over the world. I’m not going to be an armchair warrior on social media about the views of people across the globe who I have zero impact on. Nobody in or associated with that movie gives a flying f*ck what I think.

Instead, I’m going to keep doing what I’ve always done. I’ve spent my whole career doing what I can to fight prejudice and change minds with education and push for equality where I have a voice to do so. And my suggestion to fans who are pissed off about this is to take that energy and go make a difference where you CAN.

Are you sad and disappointed? Join the club. I hope Yibo has at least one international friend who will have an honest convo and let him know how problematic and disturbing this is. Don’t want to see the movie? I feel ya. Don’t want to be a fan of Yibo’s anymore? That’s your call - I’m not your mother, you do what makes you happy and feels right to you.

But don’t judge people for not speaking up — because they may have their own trauma and/or just be trying to process their own feelings about what a shitshow this is. Or they may not live in a place with a history of this type of thing and really don’t get it. In which case you can explain the history and your concerns without being a jerk, and maybe that person will walk away with more knowledge and an informed perspective.

Or you can do something about these problems in your own neighborhood and city and try to bring about change where you are. Because we all want to live in a kinder world, and it needs to start with ourselves.

[susitseart]

Despise.

It’s all I think about you. (SEE ALL SLIDES)

Says the red. Says the blue.

On my most sore sides.

We may be aware that there are many different sides in each of us. Sides that others may or may not see. Sides that are known or unknown even to ourselves.

But this is not the story about all our different sides. This is a story about how our different sides can be at odds with each other.

How they can despise each other.

Despise.

It's a word that can prevail between Sadness and Anger.

That's how it is for me. And maybe for someone else too. Therefore, we may be caught between the war of red and blue.

Sadness is my blue side. The side of me who wants me to be vulnerable. The side of me who fears the world. And who gravely, desperately wants and needs to be loved. Because when we look through the blue, we think that's what everyone needs. Even we, who feel like it's something we don't deserve.

Sadness wants me to understand the blue color of mine. Because that way, in my moments of weakness, I can be kinder to myself again.

That's what my Sadness thinks I need.

But Anger is my red side. The part of me that wants me to be strong. Who requires me to survive alone, because that's what the strong ones do. And with whom I don't want or need anyone or anything. Because when we look through the red, only the weak ones need another or anything.

Anger expects me to understand the red color of mine. For thus, with my red fierce and pride, my moments of weakness shall never touch me again.

That's what my Anger thinks I need.

But Sadness doesn't understand why Anger keeps poisoning me with mercilessness. And Anger doesn't understand why Sadness keeps poisoning me with weakness.

That's why they despise each other.

That is why there is an endless war inside me. Where Sadness weeps tears for Anger. Where Anger wants to burn Sadness to ashes.

Because these sides. And each side of us. Would do anything for our sake.

So that we could see through the color we need.

—————————-—————————-——-

Are some of your sides in conflict with each other too?

—————————-—————————-——-

As the story tells you, I have a conflict inside me. Perhaps it only exists between my Sadness and my Anger. Perhaps there are more sides of me that are at war, and I just haven't found them within myself yet. However, for me, the conflict between my Sadness and Anger is the greatest one within me. So great that I'm sure I've talked about it before. It's the one which gnaws my insides often and wears me down a lot.

The problem is not that my sides want anything bad for me. No. It's that they both only want the best for me. Because I, and each of us, needs our own sides. Because our sides are what make us who we are. Or, ultimately, they can teach us a lot about ourselves, allowing us to grow again.

Our sides know this. That's why they do everything for us.

That's why it's not that my Sadness and Anger want to make a battlefield inside me. They just don't understand each other. Therefore, they see each other as a threat to themselves. And above all for me. That's why they defend themselves and me.

I would like to be able to tell a way to end the war. To help myself and others. But I still, after all these years, haven't found a solution to it. Maybe it's just hard to grasp the issue, because it's hard to see the reason for this everything.

But on the other hand. If it were simple, I wouldn't be drawing or writing about this topic at all. Therefore, I can forgive myself about for not having the solution.

Furthermore, I also understand that even though my sides are fighting, I don't have to participate in the battle.

Maybe that's why I can't help but try to understand the conflict inside me. Parts of the pain it's causing. That why I always find myself in the middle of a fight. That why is there even is a war inside me.

Maybe that's why I just need to listen to the needs of both sides of me separately. And try to give them what they individually need.

It won't end the war. But maybe it gives me and my sides at least some kind of peace.

[radical-revolution]

“When I was about six years old I received the essential bodhichitta teaching from an old woman sitting in the sun. I was walking by her house one day feeling lonely, unloved, and mad, kicking anything I could find. Laughing, she said to me, ‘Little girl, don’t you go letting life harden your heart.’

Right there, I received this pith instruction: we can let the circumstances of our lives harden us so that we become increasingly resentful and afraid, or we can let them soften us and make us kinder and more open to what scares us. We always have this choice.

If we were to ask the Buddha, ‘What is bodhichitta?’ he might tell us that this word is easier to understand than to translate. He might encourage us to seek out ways to find its meaning in our own lives. He might tantalize us by adding that it is only bodhichitta that heals, that bodhichitta is capable of transforming the hardest of hearts and the most prejudiced and fearful of minds.

Chitta means ‘mind’ and also ‘heart’ or ‘attitude.’ Bodhi means ‘awake,’ ‘enlightened,’ or ‘completely open.’ Sometimes the completely open heart and mind of bodhichitta is called the soft spot, a place as vulnerable and tender as an open wound. It is equated, in part, with our ability to love. Even the cruelest people have this soft spot. Even the most vicious animals love their offspring. As Trungpa Rinpoche put it, ‘Everybody loves something, even if it’s only tortillas. ’

Bodhichitta is also equated, in part, with compassion – our ability to feel the pain that we share with others. Without realizing it we continually shield ourselves from this pain because it scares us. We put up protective walls made of opinions, prejudices, and strategies, barriers that are built on a deep fear of being hurt. These walls are further fortified by emotions of all kinds: anger, craving, indifference, jealousy and envy, arrogance and pride. But fortunately for us, the soft spot – our innate ability to love and to care about things – is like a crack in these walls we erect. It’s a natural opening in the barriers we create when we’re afraid. With practice we can learn to find this opening. We can learn to seize that vulnerable moment – love, gratitude, loneliness, embarrassment, inadequacy – to awaken bodhichitta.

An analogy for bodhichitta is the rawness of a broken heart. Sometimes this broken heart gives birth to anxiety and panic, sometimes to anger, resentment, and blame. But under the hardness of that armor there is the tenderness of genuine sadness. This is our link with all those who have ever loved. This genuine heart of sadness can teach us great compassion. It can humble us when we’re arrogant and soften us when we are unkind. It awakens us when we prefer to sleep and pierces through our indifference. This continual ache of the heart is a blessing that when accepted fully can be shared with all.

The Buddha said that we are never separated from enlightenment. Even at the times we feel most stuck, we are never alienated from the awakened state. This is a revolutionary assertion. Even ordinary people like us with hang-ups and confusion have this mind of enlightenment called bodhichitta. The openness and warmth of bodhichitta is in fact our true nature and condition. Even when our neurosis feels far more basic than our wisdom, even when we’re feeling most confused and hopeless, bodhichitta – like the open sky – is always here, undiminished by the clouds that temporarily cover it.

Given that we are so familiar with the clouds, of course, we may find the Buddha’s teaching hard to believe. Yet the truth is that in the midst of our suffering, in the hardest of times, we can contact this noble heart of bodhichitta. It is always available, in pain as well as in joy.”

Pema Chödrön - The Places that Scare You

[intersexfairy]

i think i'll be ready to start taking T again soon. when i first tried it, i really didn't realize how much i felt ashamed of having body hair and i thought T would magically get rid of my internalized transphobia (newsflash: it didn't). i needed more time to work on myself. i still need a little more time. and that's okay.

so yeah. you don't have to go through medical transition on a distinct timeline. you really, really don't. it's okay to take it slow. it's okay to get confused and scared. it's okay to take a break. it's not immoral and it doesn't mean you aren't trans (but it's also okay if it does).

medical transition is a big change. and when we medically transition, we're turning all our thoughts & feelings into tangible, physical changes. that may force us to reckon with feelings and judgements that we ignored before. that's natural. people don't always realize things.

but now that we can realize them, we can work on processing things and being kinder to ourselves. and you are allowed to take as much time as you need for that. there is no rush, and you'll enjoy the metamorphosis more if you give yourself the patience you deserve. i promise. it'll be okay <3

[ahundredtimesover]

Hi.. I grew up in the part of the world where sex is dirty, a sin. And a woman wanting and enjoying sex is just something so bad. She is considered a who*e. Even if she is married.Sex is just a means to make babies or obviously for men to have fun. And so I grew up uncomfortable with the idea of a naked body.. even mine.. and obviously with age and harmones... I wanted physical intimacy and I hated myself for wanting it. But then I came across BTS.. eventually Wattpad, Tumblr... And you and few other writers make sex a part of the story.. so intimate.. so deep.. Really... You and few other writers changed my perspective towards sex. I don't hate myself or my partner for wanting it. I started appreciating his attraction towards me even more. It in turn made me love my body a bit more . Even though I am still insecure af.

And directly/indirectly addressing issues.. like past traumas.. childhood trauma... Addressing issues.. accountability... I mean ur stories have them all... Somehow I became a better person in terms of understanding myself.. not there yet . But opening myself for the possibilities of my triggers, my reactions. I don't know. I try to handle myself better.. bcz all of you beautiful writers helped me get in touch with my emotions n feelings. I have always avoided them. So thank you for existing.. for sharing ur beautiful beautiful amazing creations with us..

Love 💗

Hi. Before anything, I just want to say that this message means so much to me. 🥹 And I just want to thank you for being brave in sharing something so personal and vulnerable. I understand that there are many societies that treat sex this way. And I'm sorry that you had to go through that discomfort or even shame for wanting it, and if it affected your relationship. It's always a tough thing to navigate.

For me personally, I used to be scandalised by it. That changed when I got a boyfriend but I would still get insecure and feel shy to explore. One thing that writing has done for me was allow myself to explore that side of me that wanted that intimacy, that bit of roughness but gentleness; it allowed me to know what I want and how to express that to my partner. I think my stories reflect what I feel about sex. Sure, it's pleasurable and it has many purposes. But there's something so special when it's done with someone you care about, when there's trust and respect and this overflowing desire to be in each other's presence, to learn about each other and make the other feel good and happy.

I started appreciating his attraction towards me even more. It in turn made me love my body a bit more - I absolutely love this. I love that there's that acceptance now, and though you may still get insecure sometimes, you know that someone will love you regardless. I love writing banter and admiration and body worship in my scenes bc I feel like they're so natural. They make the act more genuine and real. So I'm happy that even with just these stories, it can change the way you approach it and think about yourself. 😊

Somehow I became a better person in terms of understanding myself - I love how you framed this, because learning to understand ourselves is one way to be better. I started writing as a form of release. I just got off my anti-depressants then and I needed to cope. Writing was cathartic, and I was able to put my fears and desires into words, it let me express my emotions in a way that stabilised me, and I'll always be thankful that in doing so, it helped you be in touch with your emotions, too. It's such a beautiful thing we can do for ourselves - to be kinder, to be gentler. I hope we can always strive towards that.

Thank you for dropping by, and for trusting me enough to share this. I'm glad that I, and other writers in this space just trying to get by, could do something for you in such small way. Please always be well. And I'm sending you love. 💕💕💕