Sidney: What were you thinking?
Robin: It wasn’t my fault.
Sidney: Debateable. You shouldn’t take them with you if you’re not going to keep an eye on them.
Robin: I don’t have a million eyes!
Oscar: Ma.
Sidney: Well.
Oscar: You’re looking at this all wrong, anyway-.. Byrd, what’re we not gonna do in future?
Byrd: Uhhhhh-.. handstands on wobbly fences?
Courtney: Robin?
Robin: Let Byrd climb on shitty fences.
Oscar: See?
Sidney: [mutters] Give me strength.
Wren: What do you need strength for?
Sidney: Your father’s unquenchable thirst for chaos.
Oscar: You need to relax every now n’ then, you might actually enjoy yourself for once.
Sidney: Bah, you sound like Ally.
Alton: Hm-.. what?
Sidney: Nothing-.. where’s the salad?
Oscar: What’s done is done-.. let’s just agree to steer clear of the hospital for a while, okay guys? I’m sick of the place.
Robin: Maybe we could get a member’s card.
Ava: I want to go!
Oscar: Noooo, you don’t.
Ava: How do you know what I want?!
Sidney: Ask Robin to watch you for a day, you’ll be there in no time.
Oscar: Ignore your grandma-.. she’s just an expert at putting the salt in Salton.
Alton: I still don’t understand that joke…
Note: Part 2.2! The Bane Incident from Kon's POV! 😁
~*~*~
Two days later, Kon was back at Arkham undercover again. The Bats had caught Bane nearly 12 hours earlier after Red Hood showed up midway through the fight, lept off the overpass, and landed a blow directly to the top of Bane's head with a metal pipe on the way down. The behemoth of a man had crashed hard into the cement, immediately unconscious, and been taken directly to Arkham's medical facilities as soon as he arrived. He'd been checked over and cleared to head to his usual room in less than 15 minutes once he woke up the following afternoon.
Kon found out all of this afterwards.
He was headed back to the briefing room for his nect assignment after lunch when he spotted four senior guards, Collins, Ryans, Dorr, and Miles, escorting Bane from medical to his usual cell. He stepped into a doorway to let them pass by before continuing on his way. Kon had spent a productive lunch break chatting with Jasmine "please don't call me Fenton" while she waited for Dr. Rylie before he had to head back to the guards room so he wouldn't be late. He'd have to make sure to catch up with Dr. Rylie on the way out at the end of the day instead, Kon mused.
There was a shout behind him. Two bodies slamming hard into the walls on either side of the hall. A rush of fabric sliding across fabric. Rapid pounding footsteps.
Kon spun letting out a gasp as he saw Bane grab Jasmine's upper arm and yank her hard enough to make her stumble. The large man turned to face the guards behind him as he pulled her firmly back against his chest. Kon had the dart gun in his hands and leveled at Bane before he even realized he was moving. Dorr and Ryans had also already done the same. Miles was scrambling to his feet, drawing both his dart gun and baton. Collins slid to the ground, right shoulder visibly dislocated from hitting the wall at the wrong angle but he drew his tranquilizer dart gun as well.
"Weapons down or I'll snap her skinny little neck." Bane growled out, shaking Jasmine as emphasis. Her braid swung from the force of it.
Kon expected her to panic. He was panicking; a full grown, fully recognized superhero. Of course, he expected her to panic.
But Jasmine didn't.
Her expression smoothed out turning from barely-there surprise to blank calm in the span of a few seconds. Her breathing stayed deep and even. Her heart beat steady was steady. Was she in some kind of shock? But he had never heard of someone reacting like that to shock before.
"Back up! Let him through!" Dr. Rylie shouted to Kon and the other guards from where he had pressed himself against the wall on the opposite side from Bane. He must have been just a few steps ahead of Jasmine.
"She's my student! Let him through!" Dr. Rylie screamed again. His voice high pitched with fear for his intern.
Kon didn't know what to do. From the way Ryans and Dorr were exchanging looks, he wasn't sure they knew what the best approach was in this situation either. Of the five of them, Ryans was the most senior guard but he wasn't one of the six guards trained for hostage negotiations either. None of the scenarios they had trained for would work here. Jasmine was too similar in height to Bane for a good shot and a single tranquilizer wouldn't knock him out anyway. They couldn't possibly circle around behind him in this narrow hallway either.
Kon could practically taste the panic building in the air. The tension was rising. If he didn't think fast someone else was going to make the first move and Jasmine would get hurt and -
She sighed.
Long, heavy, and disappointed. It felt like every muscle in Kon's body locked up suddenly.
"Mr. Bane, remove your hands from my person, please. I will give you to one to comply." She said voice calm and heavy like - like she was disappointed in him?
Kon's stared at her bland expression in shock for a moment before his eyes darted back to Bane. The rogue looked momentarily stunned then started laughing.
"Five." Jasmine said, ignoring his laughter. Kon felt himself paling. His colleagues were shifting, white faced with fear as they traded glances again.
"Four." She continued. Bane snorted derisively at her.
"Did you really think that would work?" He asked. His arms tightened around her. There was no way Jasmine was getting out of this without bruises.
"Three." She said ignoring Bane's question. Holy shit. Had she lost her mind?
"What can you even do if I don't?" Bane mocked with a rabid gleam in his eye. He's going to kill her, Kon realized faintly, even if we let him go now he's going to snap her neck for this.
"Two."
"Jasmine..." Kon whispered pained and horrified by his realization. Loosening his grip on the dart gun without meaning too. She met his gaze across the hall, eyes resolved.
"One." She finished, brows furrowing slightly in concentration as her lips thinned, pressed together. Bane gave a derisive snort.
And then the massive man was airborne.
"Holy shit." Miles breathed out.
Kon stared at the crater in the floor. Collins and Dorr were absolutely silent, hearts racing in their chests. Ryans took a half step forward, heart stuttering - Kon really hoped the man wasn't about to have a heart attack because he could rush him to medical right now. Dr. Rylie was half collapsed against the wall he'd been pressing himself against a strangled sound of shock coming from his throat. Bane was embedded in the floor breath wheezing as Jasmine half knelt on top of his neck. Oh wow, Kon registered, Bane's arm is fucked.
"Now, do you know what you've done wrong?" Jasmine asked looking down at the giant.
"Yes, Ma'am." Bane choked out.
"Fucked with the wrong HBIC." Collins muttered under his breath faintly still stunned.
"Jasmine for president." Miles whispered back automatically.
"Boys," Dorr scolded as he half lowered his dart gun, shifting his weight at the same time.
"Won't be making her angry around that time of month." Ryans mumbled to himself softly enough that Kon was the only person who could have possibly heard him.
"What did you do wrong?" Jasmine pressed. Collins choked back an inappropriate hysterical giggle at the question. Bane appeared to panic when he realized he'd have to respond.
No wonder, Kon thought, the man literally grew up in Santa Prisca's prisons. Did he even know how to respond to -Kon choked on air - a maternal scolding?! What the ever loving fuck? He bluescreened. Stood there in the hallway, absolutely stunned, completely unaware of his surroundings as he struggled to process the fact that Jasmine was giving Bane a maternal scolding in the middle of an Arkham hallway right in front of him. Maybe I've finally gone nuts? Kon wondered.
Jasmine gestured vaguely towards the group of them without turning to look and Kon snapped back to the present.
"Kyle here is going to take you to see the nurse and then back to your room then. I'm sure you'll behave for him?" Oh shit, that's me she's talking about. Kon walked towards her still a bit numb.
"Yes, Ma'am. I'll behave." Bane answered her. Kon watched as Jasmine stood up carefully and backed away from Bane far enough for him to pull himself out of the crater in the floor. Once he was on his feet, Kon led Bane back towards medical realizing as he did that there had been four other guards behind him this whole time.
Two of them darted forward and scooped up Collins, probably to take him to the guards medical ward along the outer wall patrol route. The other two fell in with Kon, Dorr, Miles, and Ryans. As they walked away Kon could hear Jasmine talking to Dr. Rylie.
"I'm fine, really. My mother was an extremely skilled martial artist. I've been learning from her since I started to walk." She explained honestly, trying to sooth the frazzled doctor's nerves. "I didn't know he was heavy enough to break the floor though!" Jasmine laughed.
That - heart beat uneven, vocal cords tense - that second part was a lie.
Figuring out how to put Scarecrow's fear gas into a vape cartridge seems like a good idea tbh. Microdose that sh*t, not only would it build an immunity to the fear toxin itself, but constant mild hallucinations of your worst fears would build an immunity to real terrifying situations (you can't show me anything worse than what I see everyday). Why has noone done this?
"Is [Barkov] a normal dude? Meaning like—is he just like, you're having a cheeseburger some day and he's like 'Oh, no, no, no! I need this, I need the superfoods,' like is he kind-of... is he a normal guy?"
"'Is that Wagyu or no?'"
"'I need, you know, the best of the best,' Like how is he?"
"He's undercover really funny, especially when you get to know him. I don't think he said much for the first 3 to 5 years. But I always joke with him I've never been invited to his house and we've played together for 10 years."
"Dude, Brandon Montour said the same thing! We had him on last year! He's like, 'Dude, he's never had us over! We're always like—' But he doesn't live by all you guys, right? He kind-of lives a little further out?"
"Yeah, he lives 20-30 minutes away in Boca [Raton.] But, yeah, no I—Listen, it's just his personality. It's who he is, and we respect him for it. Like I said, he's a really funny guy when you get to know him, and sometimes he's got those one-liners. And, you know, he's one of those perfect humans, right? You know, one of the guys we all strive to be, and we'll all come short forever, but—yeah, he's a good person."
The Cam & Strick Podcast | 7.30.24 (x)
i hope this bit never ends if not for the fact that each time ekky has to say it he has to add another year to it which adds to the comedy of it all
"Hey, who's got the best setup on your team with the Panthers? When all the boys get together, 'We're going to your crib. We're gettin' on the jet skis,' whatever. Who's got the best setup?"
"Yeah, um—Aaron [Ekblad]'s probably...I mean, Aaron's been there the longest. Hopefully, Barkov hears this! He's been there the longest, but he never invites the boys over to his house!"
"Oh~ Barky!"
"Is he cheap?"
"I'm gonna call Barky out right now, and see if he can invite the whole team over next year..."
"Is he cheap? Is he cheap? What is it?"
"Will he do it?"
"Oh, he's up in 9 East—obviously, like quiet, unbelievable guy, but he's the only up in Boca [Raton.] So I don't know if anybody wants to even drive up to Boca..."
"Oh, Fancyland Zone..."
"What do you mean? How far is that away from where you are? Like, and everybody else?"
"Yeah, we're all in Ft. Lauderdale, Las Olas—within probably... you know some families are in Parkland by the arena, but we're all within probably 10 minutes away and he's up 30, 40 minutes away so."
The Cam & Strick Podcast | 7.25.23 (x)
the boys ribbing sasha for living so far away and never inviting them to his house but still going btw hes amazing and incredible and perfect and sososo good we say this to tease him but like this is just who he is as a person and we accept that so please dont misconstrue this into something its not this is a joke and we dont take it to heart
and on that topic its really a shame that NA media doesnt know how fucking funny and how absolutely unserious he can be. I understand the notion of diligent no-nonsense captain is a prevalent idea (which he is lets make that clear he takes hockey so seriously) but especially since this season hes said hes cut down on weight so he could skate faster (and the results show) so i understand where the questions are coming from knowing the track record but also
we've won a cup and hes ramped it up its fantastic and this is one of my favourite examples of it of how quippy he can be
happy to talk about my cappy!!! happy to tease my cappy!!!
"and you know hes one of those perfect humans right? you know one of the guys we all strive to be, and we'll all come short forever but yeah he's a good person" do you also cry about how terribly fond and sincere ekky gets about sasha
its so funny that all minute—the guy who once upon a time hoped to redeem zam—'s team has accomplished is getting him to consider giving up his remaining honor in order to match the level they're playing on ?
I watched a part of today's Nintendo Direct and RAMONA FRIGGIN' FLOWERS FROM SCOTT PILGRIM IS GOING TO BE A PLAYABLE CHARACTER IN THE NEW FUNKO FUSION GAME LET'S GOOOOO!!
Bonus: SCOTT, STEPHEN AND GIDEON ARE GONNA BE HERE TOO AAAA I'M DYING OF HAPPINESS
Bonus 2: two more Scott Pilgrims (the original and the back of his head for no reason)
Bonus 3 (6/19/24): I JUST NOTICED THAT THE FRIGGIN' KATAYANAGI TWINS STAGE FROM THE MOVIE IS IN THE GAME TOO GAAHH HOW DID I MISS THAT?!
And big dragon too...There they are if you want proof :) You can just see part of the twins' heads for now...time to update my tags 😅 Can't wait to see what Funko!Scott's world looks like!!
Just wanted to share them all because AAA SO EXCITING!! 😄
Deadpan!Tommy just made another one-liner and Buck just loves it because he knows Tommy is actually always joking, just differently than him. And they just have the best evening (until they don't).
No, Microsoft Word, upon consideration I don't think my audience will be offended by my use of the word "fuck". My intended audience is queers, teenagers, and queer teenagers, all of whom seem to be absolutely fucking delighted by my use of the word "fuck".
Fuck, just had a hell of a Holland realization, which everyone else probably realized years ago but indulge my horror: The Danes have their stone statue garden of traitors. And the only thing we've ever seen in WL that can turn people to stone is As Staro. The command Holland used to kill his fucking brother. The idea of him having to replicate that kill over and over with the traitors the Danes wanted to make sharpest examples of, and then walk past those kills every fucking day? I have nothing else to say except it's a fucking crime Holland didn't get the same sort of triumphant, bloody fight against the Danes Lila got against the earth mage who tried to kill her in the tournament, because to say he deserved it so much more is the flimsiest possible understatement.
I dislike takes that Danse would be just as conservative in modernized aus when it's clearly shown his staunch views of things come from his time in the Brotherhood and his deep-rooted desire to belong to something with a greater purpose.
Not to mention lines that show much more open-mindedness that get overlooked for his harsher sentiments when you first meet him. Like the oppurtunity to be a part of something is why Danse fell so far into Brotherhood dogma and it doesn't negate the offense things he does but I feel like it's just lazy to be like "hmmm he'd def be racist" just so it aligns to his BoS beliefs.
I know that certain Jason fans have a real bone to pick with the take from "The Adventures Continue" since they went with him being a violent Robin who went rogue because he was one of those people who care more about vengeance than justice (ironically making him act quite a bit like Steph did as Robin), but I really appreciate that they took a moment to call out this part of the issue, which most Jason stories pretend isn't a factor.
Bruce's no-kill rule isn't just about his personal code it's about maintaining a good reputation and a good relationship with the people he needs to support his cause. The more unhinged and aggressive he (and his associates) get, the less Gordon can justify keeping him around.