#what a slacker dude

[0nez1]

I can't wait the manwha reach chapter 100+ (Web novel) just to get the full glorious look at the OP close-knit constant miscommunication misunderstanding chaos incranation of a found-family gang.

[katasstrophy]

Bruh Nagi being buff as hell after Manshine's training 🥰🥰🥰

sammy you deadass bout to make me objectify this man on main SO BAD this has been running something of a small marathon in my head so 😵‍💫😵‍💫 pls accept my humble word vomit

cw. [n]sfw. mdni. pro player! nagi + aged-up characters. bit of body worship(?) you ride his abs. nipple play (m. receiving). subby nagi (but he's actually a switch >:) + some fluff bc he's so baby :(

note. a bit rambly oop soz it’s bc i went insane. i describe how he looks like to ME (re: hot as fuck) but i guess y'all can read it too hehe<3

1.4k words -> how could you ever hope to keep your hands to yourself when nagi's body looks like that.

i feel like unless you have prior knowledge of the fact that nagi is a pro athlete, from a cursory glance, your first thought upon seeing him wouldn’t be “hmm i bet that dude is built like a brick house.” it doesn’t help that nagi’s basically the unofficial king of athleisure — his closet’s chockfull of loose-fitting hoodies and sweats. he barely owns anything else besides those monochrome hooded tracksuits (and sportswear for practice, i guess he’d need some of that too lol) because he claims it’s the only outfit that gives him unlimited access to just lounge about basically anywhere he pleases. it’s what he genuinely finds to be the most comfortable style for him as well. but if you’re fortunate enough to get a peak underneath the layers of baggy clothes? dear god nagi’s built like a fever dream. amen you’ll eat so good then he’s a whole ass feast. 

i’m gonna brazenly speak my truth here so don’t come for me >:( but! from what you’d consider to be “a typical footballer’s physique”, purely from that perspective, nagi’s legs are… not that impressive. his stagnant motivation has much improved ever since he committed to making a career out of soccer, but that doesn’t mean his slacker tendencies haven’t followed suit. don’t get me wrong, he still puts his all into every game so his legs are still very much capable of making your mouth water, but you won’t catch him sprinting up and down the field at full speed if he can help it. packed with lean muscle, his thighs are thick, calves well-defined with a few bold veins thinly zigzagging down the taut skin like a lightning strike on the occasion you happen to catch him after a particularly gruelling conditioning session. but compared to some of his teammates whose legs seem to be carved from iron, he’s a bit.. overshadowed.

it’s a fairly similar story with his arms. (i promise i’m not just talking shit lol i could NEVER my poor meow meow it’s gonna get so hot in a second i swear just bear with me!!!) again, it’s most definitely a drool-worthy sight. the stretch of his arms is long and sinewy, rolling with a set of generous biceps that flutter under the gentle scrap of your fingerpads and nails when he (totally intentionally) flexes the swell of muscle there. in his profession, he mostly uses his arms for balance and to create distance between himself and his opponents. buried in his private nook back home, he has a tendency to hold his phone above his head while playing mobile games — that blissfully only rarely come crashing down on his face — but his unrivalled favourite will, of course, always be enveloping you in his arms <3 

nagi’s not the most expressive person, but his subtle social cues become much easier to pick up on whenever he’s sleepy, which let’s be honest is almost always. he’s in dire need of a snuggle in those moments and not only loves, but craves being close to you physically, his face a canvas of huffy evidence of what a Big Deal this is to him if you learn to read the hidden hints (it’s a pursed, pouty frown nine times out of ten he ain’t slick lmfao). he kind of regards your presence as his “recharging station” what a cringe fail soggy loser man i adore him with my whole heart 🥹 his lanky limbs will snake around you with the security of a vine until you’re all cosy and wrapped up in each other, his hold bearing enough strength to not budge against any playful escape tactics you might attempt — at least not until he decides he’s had his fair share of quality snuggle time with you. 

nagi’s a practical man, however — the world doesn’t call him a lazy genius for nothing. for these, albeit lovely, purposes, he determined there’s absolutely no need to overexert himself by lifting weights to buff up his arms. he can get by just fine! there are definitely more jacked arms out there i’m sorry :(

but here’s the kicker. nagi’s tall. you could even say he’s huge — he’d tower over most people if he actually straightened his posture for once. so his muscle mass kind of stretches out a bit… unevenly throughout his body. he does have muscle mass though, plenty of it, actually, and he needs only to do one tiny little thing to remind you of it: lift his shirt up. 

it’s a subconscious, everyday thing for nagi to toy with the hem of his cotton tees. his fingers often grow restless if they’re just lying about, so playing with the material of his clothes is not only stupidly ready at hand but also helps to soothe the itch brimming along his fingers to do something with them. in the process, you’re rewarded with glimpses of his stomach often when he involuntarily ends up exposing the skin clinging to those hard planes. but what’s objectively worse for your sanity is when nagi comes trudging into the kitchen to ease his thirst. he never bothers with a glass from the cupboard, just swoops down to drink from the open tap, his adam’s apple bopping rhythmically as he swallows. there’s water coating his lips when he rises, a few droplets still running down his chin that he tugs on the ends of his t-shirt to lazily wipe away. it’s an innocent endeavour to him, but a sinful display for you, as it essentially shows off his entire, deliciously shaped midriff. nagi might slack off in other areas, but his core strength is insane. his torso is like a gift from the heavens, chiselled after the image of their gods and heroes. don’t even get me started on his abs.

because i cannot stress enough how perfect nagi’s abs are for grinding your sweet, drooling little cunny on :( the ridges of muscle packed together at his abdomen are firm, but twitch almost uncontrollably when you slowly drag your cunt up and down the sculpted slabs of his stomach that bump against your poor, swollen clit in a way that makes you delirious. your thighs bracket his waist as you move, his waist that is so trim and almost tiny compared to the broad stretch of his shoulders. you can feel the coarse, light hair of his happy trail graze against your bare ass, leading to his heavy, stirring cock still confined in his sweats for now as you continue to leisurely rut your pussy down his abs, leaving a slick mess behind. the hard cut of his v-line is so prominent a thin contour of shadow clings to the underside of it.

nagi wishes desperately that he could help you, that he could sink his fingers into the plush of your skin and push you down along his abdomen to accelerate your high, dictate a more intense pace for you by his hands and make you take it, but he’s too busy being a moaning, blubbering mess underneath you to take initiative. his large palm lies dormant at your waist, the other tangled in his snowy, sweaty bangs so he doesn’t miss even a blink of the intoxicating vision you present above him. he’s drunk on every salacious sound that comes tumbling from your lips, every wanton contortion of your gorgeous face as the lewd squelching of your pussy fills his ears. his defined chest is flushed red from arousal, shuddering with shaky exhales as he all but devours the sight of you — he thinks you using him for your own pleasure is so fucking hot. 

if you want to turn him into an utter wreck, whining like a bitch in heat, please please play with his nipples :( paw at his pecs all needy first, ‘n don’t be afraid to grip the flesh with the blunt of your nails. he’ll mewl about it, but you only need to shush and praise him, tell him how good he looks like this for you and he’ll behave. pinch at the pretty pink of his pebbled nipples, gently circle his areola with your tongue, sucking on the bud and nagi will lose his mind, might even cum untouched :( but that’s okay because he’s so turned on his refractory period is barely an issue, he’ll sink into your tight, sloppy walls in one go and fuck you absolutely senseless on his cock. it’s all you can do to scramble for purchase with your trembling fingers, marking up the milky expanse of his broad back and mouthing at his collarbones to stifle your near pornographic keens and cries as he mercilessly splits you open.

in conclusion nagi seishiro is built like a wet dream and i want him carnally </3

[anne-the-insomniac]

Love it when main characters are just lazy.

LIKE HELL YEAH DONT DEAL WITH THAT SHIT YOU ARE NOT A PART OF- Wait.. wait, what are you doing. Dude, no.

Dont become a commander.

You just want a slacker life.

Dude? Cale? My guy? Master of the Silver Sheild?

[adachimoe]

Adachi's imaginary dick waving contest with Namatame

This is a revised version of a post I wrote very during the infancy of this blog. It is being split into smaller posts.

...I didn't intend to leave the name "Adachi's imaginary dick waving contest" but it was my one sentence draft and it stuck.

On a previous post, I talked about Adachi being the figure who shows up in the fog in the Central Shopping District on the dungeon deadlines, and how the dates he appears compared to when the first threatening letter shows up at the Dojima house would indicate that his claim about "watching an epic game of cat and mouse between the Investigation Team and Namatame" was bullshit. Chronologically impossible bullshit.

I propose that, instead of this, he was actually trying to screw over Namatame and ruin that dude's life.

Adachi's behaviors before the reveal

Aside from how Adachi is presented as not being wholly truthful during the December 7th dialogue, I think it's also worth pointing out that something doesn't add up about his "cat and mouse" claim when you look at his other behaviors.

After Mitsuo is rescued and brought into police custody, Adachi will appear at the Dojima house and bring up the possibility that the killer is still out there. He even does this again when Naoto turns up.

If you know he's the actual culprit, this might make it seem like he's taunting the player. I have also read an interpretation that he says these things because he wants to be caught, which from my understanding is based on the psychology of real world serial killers.

But while people bring these lines up, they fail to notice how after Namatame comes into the picture, Naoto finds Namatame's journal, reads out that Mayumi and Saki's addresses are in Namatame's journal, and then Adachi says, "that settles it".

If Adachi wants to be caught, why is he saying, "That settles it" in response to his murder victims addresses being in Namatame's journal?

He's even shown taking Namatame's case so seriously that Dojima thinks it's out of character for him as Adachi has been consistently characterized as a slacker up until now:

Furthermore, Namatame's transfer was foreshadowed. And if you follow the scenes, he was transferred because of the IT. In fact, the IT even knew about the transfer, they just didn't realize it.

On December 3rd, after the IT become the Seekers of Truth, they go outside Namatame's hospital room and talk about everything he just said. The IT are starting to believe that Namatame didn't do it, and Adachi overhears their entire conversation.

The IT returns on December 4th to question Namatame, and on their way out, an officer reveals that they are preparing to transfer Namatame. We know from December 5th that it's Adachi who orders the transfer, and it comes up on December 4th, the day after Adachi overhears the IT talking about Namatame not actually being the murderer. Hmm. What a coincidence.

I don't think anything with how Adachi approaches Namatame's hospital stay suggests "Adachi was trying to get caught" or "Adachi was trying to facilitate a game of cat and mouse" or even that "Adachi was bored and doing a little silly". The "game" of cat and mouse would be over at this point -- even if Namatame gets freed, why the hell would he go back to abducting people into TVs? Especially now that other people are aware of his actions?

Asking the "why"

At this point, I think it's worthwhile to start ask a bunch of obnoxious questions.

We know that Adachi is the real murderer, we know he nudged Namatame to go kidnap people under the guise of "saving" them, we know he put Kubo into the TV himself, and we know he sent the threatening letters. But for what reason?

If he's merely trying to get away with murder, why would Adachi throw Mitsuo into a TV to begin with instead of just letting him take the fall? Why, in the scenes discussed in the last part, is he openly talking about it being someone other than Mitsuo? Again, we can infer from his response to Namatame's journal that he is not trying to get himself caught.

We know he claims that he's watching a game between Namatame and the Investigation Team to alleviate his boredom. But if that's so, then why does he send the threatening letters to the Dojima house at all? People in the fandom explain this as him trying to rile up the Investigation Team. If he's understood what's been going on since the start and he was merely trying to rile them up, why does he wait to do so until after Naoto's dungeon? Wouldn't the time to rile them up be after they bring in Kubo, when they think they've won and think the case is over...?

I have also seen people explain this as, "Adachi just wanted to see more dead bodies". If Adachi wanted to see a dead body so badly, why not go chuck someone else into a TV himself? The only person he was willing to do this to, beyond his first two murders, was Mitsuo. And only after Mitsuo turned himself in, claiming to be the murderer. Not even in the bad endings where the calendar skips to March 20th does Adachi throw another body into the TV.

Furthermore, why does Adachi only shut up about a "real murderer" being out there after Namatame is captured, and rush to get Namatame relocated after people start asking him questions and figuring out he might not actually be the murderer?

Adachi claims to be bored, did it cause he could, watching a game unfold between Namatame and the IT. But doesn't Adachi's amusement go away if Namatame is jailed or dies and quits "saving" people?

Adachi's timeline leading up to December 5th, and how "Fuck Namatame" explains a lot of his actions

I think assuming that Adachi is being driven by a Namatame Hate Boner of sorts fills in a lot of the gaps and why he does and says certain things.

At the start, it's the part that's straightforward: Adachi kills Mayumi and Saki, takes Namatame's phone call, and recommends he "save" people.

Adachi says on April 17th that he knows people show up on fog nights. He then shows up on the April dungeon deadline expecting a body because he had told Namatame to go put a person in a TV. There is no body, and he goes "..." in the fog. Maybe Namatame got cold feet? Repeat for Kanji. There's no dead body. In the fog, Adachi asks, "Again?"

The police find Morooka's body. After two fog nights where no body appeared, Adachi thinks Namatame has finally killed someone. But Kubo turns himself in. This is not who Adachi wants to get arrested for the murders, so he gets rid of Kubo by throwing him into a TV.

The Investigation Team rescue Kubo and show Adachi that someone can be rescued from the TV. Chie makes a point of saying Adachi was there when they handed over Kubo, so Adachi both knows that Kubo is out of the TV, and that the IT might be related.

After Kubo is rescued, the police are going through with the investigation, but Adachi says, "Gee it sure would suck IF THE REAL KILLER WAS STILL OUT THERE..." because the guy he wants to get arrested, didn't get arrested.

Then Naoto goes missing. When Naoto returns, Adachi once more brings up the "real murderer" thing again when he's at the Dojima house. As Kubo's investigation carries on, it starts becoming obvious to the police that Kubo only killed Morooka, which Adachi also brings up during this convo.

On Naoto's deadline, Adachi appears in the shopping district at night. This time he says, "Dammit. Again?!" Last time, the IT showed him that a person *can* come out of the TV. Hmm... Kubo came out of the TV, and there's no body again this time... Is it possible that... Bodies have been going in... But coming out... This whole time...? :mind_blown_emoji:

The next fog night is coming up on November 20th. Adachi wants Namatame to produce a body, and he has guessed the IT are why he has failed to produce one yet. Adachi sends the threatening letters to the protagonist on October 20th and November 5th, hoping it will make you back off so Namatame can finally kill someone.

I imagine his game plan from April to November was to somehow get Namatame to kill someone, then get him arrested from this; perhaps a situation he thought he'd be able to manipulate on the police side if he knew who did it.

Later on November 5th, the Investigation Team all gather in the interrogation room and, in front of Adachi, explain that Namatame must have been abducting all of them with his delivery truck.

Naoto reads Namatame's diary which fortunately had both Mayumi and Saki's addresses in it. At this point, Adachi must think he's in the clear, and he goes, "That settles it". Everyone thinks Namatame did it and it's looking like he'll take the fall for Adachi's murders because of the addresses in the notebook.

At this point, I think Adachi began trying to get Namatame convicted for the murders of Mayumi and Saki. The notebook was a huge boon. And if he can pull this off, then Adachi walks free.

On November 21st, Adachi tells the IT that they can visit Nanako at the hospital. But before he leaves, he also tells them that they've been looking into Namatame, and he says, hey guess what? Namatame had been hitting on Saki. We know later that Namatame didn't actually do that, but Adachi is trying to keep up the narrative about Namatame.

On December 3rd, Adachi tells the IT he isn't sure if the charges against Namatame will stick, once again trying to keep up the narrative. When you think about it, even if Namatame were to die that night, it'd be assumed that he is the Inaba Serial Killer, and the truth about Adachi would never come to light. It almost works, even, but the protagonist gets everyone to calm down. Later on December 3rd, Adachi overhears the IT outside of Namatame's room and realizes they're starting to figure it out.

On December 4th, after the IT finish talking to Namatame, a uniformed police officer enters the room, tells them to get out, and says that Namatame is being prepared for transport. Meaning after realizing that the IT are still investigating after overhearing them on the 3rd, Adachi quickly organized Namatame's transfer before they can ask him more questions and figure something out.

And lastly, in the bad endings, where time skips from December to March, no more bodies have appeared because either Namatame is dead or on trial with people assuming he murdered Mayumi and Saki. If another dead body shows up, then it will call into question if Namatame is really the murderer.

But why Namatame?

Tbqh I think he was just jealous of Namatame's rizz.

Mayumi's death is portrayed as an accident. Adachi knew he could touch a TV, but he had no idea a whole body could go in, and threw up when he saw her corpse. Saki's death was 100% him being a power tripping asshole, having learned what happens with Mayumi. And both of these women, his victims, had someone in common: Namatame.

While this is not shown directly in the game, we can infer from context that Adachi saw Mayumi on the Midnight Channel at some point. And we know from Namatame's flashback that Mayumi did appear on there. What's more is that the rumor about the Midnight Channel was that you see your soulmate.

It seems likely that Adachi, new to Inaba and depressed / lonely / sad boi mode after being transferred, heard about the Midnight Channel (probably from Izanami), watched it, and saw Mayumi. What he didn't know was that everyone saw Mayumi - she was on people's minds because of her scandal. But he got something of a teenage girl hyperfixation on this real woman, thinking it was meant to be. And when he gets a chance to meet her, he does not react well to her and Namatame actually being an item.

Then, he goes after Saki, but he only targets her because of Namatame. He's shown in a flashback trying to force himself on her while mentioning that he saw her this afternoon with Namatame. She stands her ground and slaps him away, and he makes a face while saying that being with him is no-good but being Namatame is fine, huh?

Finally, Namatame himself calls the police and says he saw Mayumi and Saki on the Midnight Channel, they both turned up dead, and now he sees another girl.

I think Adachi's real game began here with this phone call. He's the real killer and he knows that people in the TV die and turn up on foggy nights. By telling Namatame to put them "somewhere safe", he is trying to get Namatame to accidentally kill someone.

And it's not just the Mayumi and Saki stuff. I think there are a couple other reasons why Adachi might be bitter about Namatame...

First, magic powers. What's unclear about the phone call scene is if Namatame told Adachi about Magic TV Powers. Namatame knew he could touch the TV because he did it when he saw Mayumi on the Midnight Channel. The game seems to have left this intentionally vague since the phone call only begins after Namatame has already explained everything to Adachi, but I think Namatame did say something about it. Adachi knew at the time that a whole body could go inside, and something about what Namatame said might have prompted Adachi to suggest Namatame put people where no one can find them.

Why does this matter? Well, Adachi seems to like his Special Power. How do you think he felt when he found out that he isn't very special, and that it sounds like Namatame can do the same thing?

The next one is related to something I wrote the other day about how Adachi's views towards having a government job might a product of the economic clusterfuck of 1990s Japan. Further down in the post, I went into each of the Investigation Team members, and how Chie is probably the only person who would be able to relate to Adachi in any form. Everyone else is either already famous, or, if their careers fail, they have their families to back them up.

But this doesn't just apply to the Investigation Team. Namatame is a government employee who loses his job due to the scandal... And yet he's still chuggin' along. He moves back home, and he gets a job working under his parents as a delivery driver. Adachi, to our knowledge, doesn't have something to fall back on or inherit from his parents if he loses this job. (I think this is implied by how his parents hounded him to study and sent him to college prep.) Not only did Namatame take his soulmate, but this fucker wasn't even completely ruined.

You can see his actions as like... He's trying to get Namatame to kill someone, he's trying to get Namatame framed for his own murders, he's trying to get the Investigation Team to kill Namatame. Adachi doesn't talk about Namatame much, honestly, but wowie I get the feeling that he really fucking hates this guy. Adachi is just so, so hilariously pathetic here. Like he thinks Namatame cucked him, so he's simultaneously comparing himself with Namatame and trying to ruin his life. Jesus dude.

tl;dr

I think Adachi has a raging hate boner for Namatame, spawning from him being Mayumi's boyfriend and his assumption that Saki was with Namatame

Namatame also having TV powers and Namatame being able to fall back on his parents probably added to the fuel

A lot of Adachi's actions seem to form a coherent timeline if you assume he was trying to get Namatame to kill someone at first, then later tries to get Namatame convicted for his own crimes after the diary is found

[beomgyw]

HOMEBOUND TRAIN

GIF by baeefox

you chose the guitar

you've unlocked a new timeline !! remember that each decision generates more alternative realities, so choose wisely.

if you're new here, go back to the beginning !!

standing in the snaking line to board the train, you can't help but notice the sea of people around you. it's like a mini migration, all headed to geoje-ssi, your hometown. and rightfully so, it´s a beautiful place.

you remember it to be an attractive vacation spot. memories flood back of your childhood, surrounded by tourists snapping photos and getting under your grandma's skin with their incessant chatter. she never missed a chance to curse them under her breath.

as the line inches forward, the station workers call for a second line, reserved for those lugging around massive suitcases, bikes, and other oversized gear.

with your guitar strapped to your back, you let out a heavy sigh as you join the new queue, watching enviously as others breeze past with just their essentials, nothing but a small bag slung over their shoulders. carrying around that guitar you can't even play properly suddenly feels like the dumbest decision ever.

the line inches forward at a snail's pace, thanks to your usual cast of annoying travellers. the lady in front of you who won't stop griping about how delicate her suitcase is, the backpacker dude who suddenly decides it's the perfect time to start disassembling his bike... classic. but finally, you make it onto the train.

the compartments are mostly packed, so you pick one where you can at least avoid being suffocated by a cocktail of five different colognes. as you peek into the compartment, you see only one boy, buried nose-deep in what seemed to be a college textbook.

"hey, mind if i sit here?" you ask politely.

he looks up and answers with a light nod, offering a smile warm enough to convince you that he really does not mind. he then returns to his book, and you can´t help but feel sorry for him. studying at the beginning of summer? rough. he probably had flunked a class and had to make up for it during the break.

you pick the spot by the window (of course) and cozy up for the ride. as the train begins to move, you steal a few glances at the boy as he pores over his pages. but there's something about him that doesn't quite fit the mold of a slacker. with his slick black hair and gentle attire, he's more like a character from a glossy magazine than someone who'd flunk a class. 

you notice something else, though it was impossible not to. his phone, perched somewhat carelessly beside him, keeps buzzing with message notifications, each flash of light drawing your gaze. and each time, the boy would glance at the screen, roll his eyes in exasperation, then proceed to ignore the phone. this goes on long enough for your attention to drift away.

the train goes on, and the steady rattling starts lulling you to sleep.

but before you can fall asleep, your phone buzzes with an incoming call. you smile upon discovering the familiar name on the screen. despite having gradually lost touch since you moved out, you had never deleted his contact and apparently he hadn't changed his phone number in 7 years.

"well, this is awkward" he chuckles softly from the other line.

"yeah, kinda." you agree, trying to suppress your own smile. "i mean, i didn't expect you to call like, at all. the old kai i knew would've probably let the awkwardness win."

he let out a light giggle. "guess i'm not that kid anymore. but you're right, it wasn't exactly my initiative. gran insisted i call."

"why's that?"

"to let you know that i'll be picking you up, of course! you didn't think i was gonna leave you stranded at the station, did you? awkward or not, we're top notch hosts, us huenings."

"aw, that's sweet of you, kai, but really, it's fine." you talk while looking at the window, so you don't notice that your conversation seems to have peaked the textbook boy´s interest. you also don't notice that he has finally answered his texts, all while stealing glances at you. "i can just grab a cab or something. no need to go through the trouble."

"but i want to! plus, i've got a surprise for you," he added eagerly.

"really?"

"yep! and trust me, it's a win-win. it'll totally ease the awkwardness of us reuniting after, what, 8 years without a word."

"what's the surprise? tell me, pretty please..."

"see, y/n, i know for sure you're pouting. but we're on the phone, so it has no effect on me..." Kai teased.

"fine. whatever," you chuckled. "i guess i'll have to wait and see."

"you won't have to wait long. what's your ETA?"

"hmm, i should be there around 6pm."

"sweet, i´ll be there! i'm eager to see you again, y/n" he admits, his tone softening. "it's been too long."

"yeah, it has," you agree. "i'm really looking forward to catching up."

"me too. oh, and one more thing," kai added before you could respond. "gran insisted that we picked up those pastries you like so much from dan´s bakery on our way home, so start brainstorming flavours, alright?"

"i will," you said with a smile. "tell grandma i'm excited to see her!"

"will do. see you soon!"

"see you soon, little cousin." even after hanging up the phone, your smile lingers. your little cousin kai had always been the quiet type, shy to a fault, but hearing him on the phone just now, he sounded different—more confident, somehow. it's funny how people change, you think to yourself, a sense of pride swelling in your chest as you picture kai, no longer the timid child you remember, but growing into his own. just like you had, just like everyone must have while you were away.

and that's when the grin started to fade. you're different now, you realize. you've changed. changed a lot, actually. maybe for the better, you like to hope. you've morphed into this conventionally beautiful woman, ticking off all those boxes of academic success. but deep down, that awkward little girl, the one who used to get teased and called names, she's still lurking in that beach town you're heading back to. it's like a part of you never left.

as you were mulling over all this, the train rattling on towards your destination, you hear a shy voice speaking to you.

"h-hey, sorry. i don't want it to seem like i'm eavesdropping, but is the kai you were talking to... huening kai?" he asks, his words stumbling out.

"uh, yeah," you nod slowly, somewhat caught off guard. the boy´s phone keeps insistently notifying that someone really really wants to talk to him, but he flips it over and leaves the screen facing down.

"cool! so you're y/n! i'm... oh," he stops himself, seeing how surprised you were at him knowing your name. "i must sound like a total weirdo right now, sorry. i'm soobin, i'm friends with kai."

"nice to meet you," you chuckle. "and you don't sound like a weirdo, you're good."

he smiles. "he's been going on about you coming over for the summer, huening... he's pretty hyped, i gotta say. i'm just telling you because he probably won't. he missed you."

at this, your heart melts a little. kai has always been cute in his own eccentric way. "how long have you know kai?" you ask. "i don't remember you from middle school..."

"i moved in right after you left. first year high school. huening took it pretty hard, you leaving and all. him and that other girl, yunjin. we promised to go back to geoje for the summer, so..." he begins to say, but he trails off. "they have something going on, those two... or they wish they did. ah..." rather than regretful, his grin was mischievous. "maybe i shouldn't have spilled... i don't know how close you are to huening after so much time."

"oh, no, you probably shouldn't have. he´d be mortified." you admit, amused. "but its not exactly breaking news. kai´s been crushing on yunjin since we were ten."

you share a laugh. if soobin and you were still strangers, you now at least knew that you shared two things; a cozy little beach town and a special love for teasing huening kai.

and then, he gets the call.

though he remains polite, he is clearly annoyed at the person calling him, muttering through a tight smile, "sorry, i have to take this."

"oh, of course. take it!"

he began to leave, but stopped in his tracks. "hey, honestly, you're nice to talk to and we still have a few hours of travel ahead of us." he said. "wanna meet up in the cafeteria compartment? on me!" he suggested, his grin gentle.

"sure, sounds good!" you say, returning the enthusiasm.

"great! i´ll head there as soon as i´m done with the call. see you!"

he leaves the compartment while you gather your belongings, feeling a pang of determination to at least offer to split the bill. grabbing your wallet, you make your way out.

you saunter down the narrow train aisle, the familiar hum of conversations and the rhythmic clatter of wheels against the tracks filling the air. but amidst the mundane sounds of travel, you hear the voice of soobin, coming from the closed door of the toilets, sounding a tad vexed.

"dude, seriously, you're such a pain in the ass." he says, his words slightly muffled by the restroom door. "and what am i supposed to do about it! i don't know, talk to her, ask her out, be normal if that's even possible?!"

cute. you think. one of his friends must be having girl problems. amused, you linger in the doorway, curiosity getting the better of you for just a moment longer. you even entertained yourself with the idea that the lover boy in question could be kai.

"you have got to be kidding me!" soobin´s frustration spilled over. "you've had like a hundred girlfriends since then, that's excluding the flings, and now you're acting like you're twelve! man up!"

yikes. that sounded a bit off character for huening kai. you keep supressing your laughter. apparently, your little cousin was now a man who've had a hundred girlfriends, excluding the flings.

"christ, it´s like you don't know him. huening won't mind. the boy just lacks the halo, of course he won't mind!"

oh? so he wasn't talking to huening. suddenly, the fun of the eavesdropping starts to fade away, replaced by a sinking feeling in your gut. what if huening was about to get hurt by whatever they were discussing?

but then you hear it. clearly, too. soobin mentions your name.

"that's if y/n remembers you, at all."

you recoil from the door as if it had bitten you. listening doesn't feel right anymore, invasive, even. but a nagging curiosity gnaws at you, urging to listen for just a bit longer. you press your ear against the door.

"how am i supposed to know? it was pure chance..." you hear soobin say. "well, she said her name´s y/n and her cousin is huening kai, so... no, she doesn't look like the pic. look, this is totally not my problem. to me she's just a nice girl i met on the train, i'm not taking sides, alright?" he says. "no! i'm not playing the spy for you. it´s childish. seriously man, what's gotten into you? you're supposed to be the cool one."

you're not a particularly gossipy person, bu oh how you wish you could hear the person on the other line.

"i don't know, i guess you'll find out when you talk to her." he says. "of course you´ll get to talk to her, you clown, she'll be staying here all summer!"

a pause follows.

"toddler." soobin scoffs.

another silence.

"but why?"

one more. this one slightly longer.

"...oh."

the last silence. and you guess this one goes both ways.

"well, it'll be fine. she seems nice enough. just don't freak out, alright? k. bye."

as the restroom door creaks open, you scramble away, heart pounding with a mix of confusion and adrenaline. you head to the cafeteria compartment, where you take a seat and try to make sense of it all.

pricking at the label of the water bottle you just ordered, you mull over the conversation. he was talking about you, but you don't know to whom or why. they seemed to know you from the past, they mentioned something about you remember them... and they knew huening too, so maybe it had to be a common friend. someone who knew kai, and soobin and... you? and the most important thing, they were nervous to talk to you. maybe it wasn't really a friend.

then it clicks. someone from your past, someone who perhaps hadn't treated you well before and was now trying to muster up the courage to apologise. it makes sense. or at least, it is the only way you can make sense of it.

as you think this over, soobin walks in with a gentlemanly smile you are starting to register as characteristic of his. and as you stare at him, you decide to give him the benefit of the doubt. whatever the conversation was about, he told the other person he didn't want to lie to you. he is a good person, or principled, at least.

"hello, again!" he smiles.

he seems nice. you don't even know him, but he seems nice. and precisely, because he seems so nice, you...

ask about it. better come clean and avoid any misunderstandings.

let it go. no hard feelings. besides, you can ask kai about it later.

[lilaccoffin]

Had some thoughts today...about their relationship...

Mostly how Chai's envy towards Vanilla gradually culminates into their falling out.

Like, they both have a lot of similarities and differences that contribute to Chai deciding to ghost Vani, both being dudes struggling with inferiority complexes in different ways. Chai handles his by gassing himself up to be the coolest dude ever because no one can call you a loser if you don't act like one, right? And his slacker attitude going hand in hand with his fear of rejection. If you don't try and put your best into stuff or do anything, it won't sting as much if someone tells you you sucked or rejects you, right?

For Vanilla, he copes with these feelings of inferiority by working his ass off to prove himself, masking his autistic behaviors and being as by-the-book as much as possible. Sure, he isn't always 100% compliant, I mean, he's lying to his parents about his major so that he can do what he actually wants to do, but for the most part, he's the type of guy who thinks doing things like they're instructed to be done will reward him. This results in all of his anxiety and stress in school. He basically overexerts himself where Chai does not.

I've boiled down three things that Chai's envious of and it's Vanilla's friend group in college, school stuff, and finally, the band that came to talk to their class.

1: The Friends...

At the start of the game, Chai tells Peppermint he's better off by himself and in general you get this air that Chai is a loner. (Using Lonely Boy as the opening song of the game is also uh...y'know, a huge indicator.) A lot of the fan base (me included) headcanon that Chai had a really hard time making friends growing up. He was the weird kid, and some (if not most) of the teasing also came from a place of ableism. I know a lot of us also headcanon Chai to have ADHD and that paired with him not being able to fully use his right arm gave bullies a lot of material. I remember someone (edit: FOUND THEIR POST, psychangels said this and it's a really good post btw) mentioning Chai dealing with pity/fake friends too and I can definitely see that and how it contributes to him being cautious of new "friends." Vanilla was pretty lucky to even get as close to Chai as he did. The shared love of music and having classes together were probably the main reasons their friendship worked for as long as it did (not very long, but not very short). Well, Chai wasn't Vanilla's only friend, even if it seemed like it at times with how often Vanilla wanted to be around him. He has a group of gothic pals who care about him a lot, most of them being people he met in middle school that he was happy to be able to go to high school and now uni with. Chai tends to just observe them from a distance because Vanilla's friends don't really like him very much over some of his crappy behavior towards Vani, and he sees how close and happy they are. Makes him wish he had that, but he tries his best to ignore it since years of bullying have made it really uncomfortable for him to accept genuine connection or kindness. It's already tough when Vanilla is so nice to him, a friend group full of that? Makes him nervous to even think about it. Though Vani and his friends aren't the type to fake anything, he's still weary.

2: School...

So, yeah, Chai isn't getting the best grades whereas Vanilla is getting straight A's. Again, Vanilla works his little ass off to get the grades his parents want him to have and Chai doesn't put that much effort into his work. To him, half-assing it also diminishes the sting of rejection if his professors don't like any of his genuine work, so getting Cs and Ds are good enough. Even with music focused classes Chai tends to take it easy. I can see him being the kind of guy to ask why they need to study the other stuff that has nothing to do with how to make music? Still, his slacker persona tends to aggravate a lot of his professors and they tend to exhibit some pretty nasty behavior towards Chai for it. Since Vanilla is hardworking and contributes to class discussions a lot, they're a lot more generous to him and have definitely cracked jokes about Vanilla's work vs Chai's. Vanilla would just nervously laugh while Chai rolled his eyes. God, actually, I don't doubt professors would make mean jokes often about those two. Probably begging Vanilla not to let Chai influence him. Vanilla didn't exactly do much about those jokes except wave/nervously laugh them off. He should have stood up to them and told them to stop making fun of Chai but, well, that kind of thing doesn't come easy to him (looks at him lying to his parents instead of putting his foot down with them about himself and his life and also how they would aaalways compare him and his older brother, which, yeah it bothered Vanilla to have their professors do the EXACT same thing with him and Chai, but...again, not REALLY great about confrontation during this time). Yeah, the way professors treat Vanilla compared to how they treat Chai also made Chai envious of Vani. Especially when it was something Vanilla could have helped to some degree if he told these people to shut up, but it's not like Chai expected him to stand up for him, either. Why would he? Why would anyone?

3: Last, the visit from the band...

Okay so, I've gone to community and uni, and it's not unheard of for a professor to have people agree to come in and talk to their students about stuff regarding the subjects they're studying. I've had professors who know some pretty neat people invite them to talk to us, so I imagine one of Chai and Vanilla's professors have done the same. I've written this scenario out before, but to TL:DR it, a band that actually went to their university and met in their classes agreed to come on down and talk to them all about the industry and how they do their thing. They went the full mile and brought their instruments and shared a short excerpt of a song with them, too. The band ended up being a band both Chai and Vanilla liked as well, so it was a pretty sick class that day! Vanilla gushes to Chai about how rad and inspiring it was and Chai offhandedly tells him he should share that new song he wrote with them and see what they think, not thinking Vanilla would actually go and do that, despite how he always considers Chai's suggestions. The band ends up really liking it and asking Vanilla if they could play a bit of it to hear it out loud, which makes him nearly faint (it's a good thing most of the class had left by then and it was just him, Chai, their professor, and the band, who was just about to put their stuff away to go). Chai's happy for Vanilla, but then he thinks back to the time he met his favorite band and how they received him...blowing him off completely (took some inspo from kennyswurvegurl's post here for the visual 'cause, damn, it hit hard). It led Chai into a bit of a spiral afterwards, wondering if maybe he really didn't have a future in all of this because of the cruelty he's faced from so many people. Seeing Vanilla flourish was every bit as painful as it was great. Sure, he tried to fall back into his cocky behavior to not think about it so much, but it was getting tougher with each snarky remark from a professor, each glare from Vani's friend group, and Vani himself being so hyped around him, the fake him.

It all just gets worse when Vanilla runs by the idea of starting a band together after Uni. In Vanilla's mind, it was a great way for them to fulfill their respective dreams of being rock stars and filling in for each other on the roles they couldn't do (Vanilla wants to sing but can't because of his monotone voice and Chai can't play guitar because of his arm.Sso in Vani's head, them doing each thing would be fine, right?). Chai just gets upset at the idea, feeling like he's being pitied all over again and that he's only going to achieve his dream by bumming off of Mr. straight A's? Nah. He rejects the offer, and after a week he drops out of college. It...super sucks for Vanilla because he thought the world of Chai. Sure, his friends get him to take off the damn rose tinted glasses after they tell him Chai wasn't really that great of a friend, but he still feels awful about Chai ghosting him and his own faults in their friendship.

[sillydeafwitch]

So for my SDMI au…before I begin I’d love some suggestions on what to call it!!! If you don’t know what I’m talking about this is the post where I explained it up to date so far. @fallenflowersfromgrace helped me flesh it out so shoutout to them!!!! Ur epic 😎😎

Anyways, au. I may have already said some of this stuff so sorry :]

So this may be split into a few posts! This post will focus on the current mystery gang and their new personalities.

The og Mystery Gang (im calling them og gang) are the protagonists of this au. The current gang, the one we all know and love, are somewhat antagonistic, at least later into the au.

Pericles betrayed (not?)mayor jones and got him sent to a maximum security prison, instead of the other way around. This in turn lets Brad and Judy stay in Crystal Cove, so they end up raising Fred and stop looking for the planispheric disc.

Brad and Judy go by Ben Sternum and Julie Sternum, though when nobody else is around they call each other their actual names.

Shaggy is much less of a slacker and more of an overworked student. Pericles made sure of that. Though he focuses less on the academic side of things and more on just getting work done. He is definitely very anxious because of high standards set by Pericles and his parents. He’s more irritable because of stress and can come off as a mean person sometimes. (Even though he’s pretty a pretty good dude) He eats a lot, like his canon version, but this time it’s out of stress. His parents are nicer to him but they are more strict and similar to how Jones treated Fred in way.

Velma is more introverted and doesn’t talk as much. She’s pretty bitter towards Pericles since he overshadows her a lot in their treasure hunt searches. She is somewhat competitive with her peers in school or stuff that would be considered “academic.” She still hangs out with the gang but to outsiders she can go unnoticed. Of course the gang always does her best to include her their treasure hunts. She hangs out with Marcie a lot in this au when she isn’t with the gang, and they DO have a lil something goin’ on <3.

Daphne is more rebellious towards her parents and is somewhat of a delinquent. She is more carefree but she doesn’t put up with people she doesn’t like. Velma introduced her to the Hex-girls when they were younger, and they were a big influence for her. Her parents obviously disapprove of rebellious behavior but she mostly refuses to listen to them in this au. She dates multiple guys throughout this au but she has a crush on Fred, though she doesn’t think he reciprocates the interest.

Fred has a similar personality to his canon version but it’s still different. He is slightly corrupted by curse like the rest of gang so he isn’t as kind as usual in this au, of course he isn’t deliberately rude to people. He’s more confident since Brad and Judy weren’t as neglectful as Jones. But they both have busy jobs as doctors so they can be sorta absent sometimes, and Fred is home alone a lot. He gets into trouble a lot ands often ends up in dangerous situations like breaking into abandoned buildings or hanging out in shady places. He has a crush on Daphne but doesn’t think he’ll end up with her considering how many cool guys she’s dated. He still likes nets and stuff, but instead of traps he’s more interested in stuff like archeology and finding treasure.

Anyways, in this au, the first season would have them be sorta antagonists but not necessarily villains, while the second one would have them be (reluctant) villains. This is due to Pericles needing some helpers with his planispheric disc plan— and also out of a sick nostalgia. The reason why they are complying is because he has demonstrated on a certain not Mayor what will happen if they don’t. Hot Dog Water is involved too, but she’ll be in another post.

[why0should0i]

I love the manshine city vs bastards arc cause one of my faves reo went through hell and back and now he is in the road to recovery and self realisation and becoming a better player and having multiple break throughs and becoming independent and getting over his emotions and feelings of inadequancy and all his failures and trying to become his own person who can play alongside geniuses and it's like

Go baby... Go... You do you... I love you.... You're so amazing and then like ...

Will power shattered. But honestly reo i get you. I get all of you.

If i found a hot, slacker guy with limitless potential and a nice docile attitude who lowkey does what I say and i thought we were besties and gonna be forever and all that and then he leaves me for some bitch ass guy i would get super fucking angry and go emo.

But then reo rose up and became a better player. Even on friendly terms with isagi and he got over his nagi complex but then this guy comes and asks to be with him again and like how can you say no to that face.

I totally get you reo. You're the man. You're gay and a real friend. Xoxo. Love you dude but seriously tho, rip

[you-cant-fuck-megaman]

you expecting concrete man to get rock hard for you? no way. not even REMOTELY happening.

the dude’s in charge of dam construction, it is his actual job to hold back the thirst. what do you take him for, a layabout? a slacker? he is a professional in this field, and you will give him the respect he deserves. he’s got no patience for anything less than getting the dam job done and done well--he works double-time and tears into others for slacking off. which sounds harsh, but if anyone slacks off for TWO GODDAMN MINUTES then things start crumbling apart. the bricks start breaking, the water starts flooding, and suddenly little timmy’s summer plans just got moved from the beach to the backyard.

you really want him to give you a c. shot? that’s one way to quench your thirst, i guess, but you can't squeeze water from concrete, and no squeeze in the world is going to convince him to open the dam floodgates.

[tentacledwizard]

tumblr user tentacledwizard reviews: Employee of the Month

 

  So recently [read: a few hours ago], @cgtg hosted a sort of movie night. The movie was Employee of the Month, starring Dane Cook. I joined it because I am always willing to expand my cinematic repertoire and also cgtg’s Davekat stuff is really good. Like I don’t even ship Davekat that much but their content is excellent. And the Sandler rap perfectly encapsulates my opinions on Adam Sandler as an actor, because ever since my dad played Billy Madison my life has been ok I’ll just do the review now.

So okay, I was prepared to have an ironically good time. I was convinced the movie would be 100% shit tier, just like Dave Strider said. But I should have known that Dave is not a reliable source. Because this movie was fun. I had a great time. When it comes to official reviews, I’ve seen mainly lukewarm/frosty attitudes towards Employee of the Month but *clears throat* Whatever. 

Now, those who know me know of my passionate love for Home Depot. And if you didn’t know about this, now you do. I wrote a Home Depot/necromancy story in like 7th grade. Home Depot is paradise on earth. You could survive a zombie apocalypse in there. It has everything you need for survival- shelter, crops, energy drinks, etc. This movie basically takes place inside a Home Depot. I forget what the store was actually called. It doesn’t matter. You just need to understand that I love Home Depot so I will generally enjoy movies set inside Home Depots. That was a pretty big factor in my enjoyment. Never mind the fact that this was filmed inside a Costco.

Now onto the actual movie. By rom-com standards, is this a good rom-com? Ehhh. No. The main romance between Dane Cook and “Blond Tart” was half-baked. I saw nothing that distinguished the fair-haired love interest from the other rom-com love interests before/after her, except maybe her big ears. The pair had like nothing in common, mainly because I don’t really know about their interests? Gotta say that Dane Cook had far more chemistry with the other blond tart (aka the antagonist). I wasn’t rooting for the main couple. This is also partly because of the movie’s intense homosexuality. I am not even kidding. Their date was cute though, I just wish they actually had some things in common and we learned more about the love interest.

So basically the plot is that this guy Zack (Dane Cook) works at Fictional!Home Depot and he seems like kind of a “slacker.” He is rivals with a smarmy blond Eminem cousin named Vince (Dax Shepard), who seems like a “stand up guy.” Obviously he is a douche bag who flirts with everyone in a very unprofessional way. There’s some kind of subplot about the store trying to beat another retail place. Then this new employee (Jessica Simpson) waltzes into the place. (I could say she “breasted boobily,” but nah.) Her name is Amy and she allegedly has a thing for employees of the month. So Zack falls in love, but obviously Vince starts making some moves on her. Now Zack has to win Employee of the Month to get the girl, or else Vince will. (There was nothing to worry about though, he dates Amy without even getting the position yet. Also Vince is super awkward/gay.) 

So let me just bullet point this. I’ll cover the characters/plot points/romance plots.

CHARACTERS:

Zack: The main character, Dane Cook. For everyone watching, there was this process of thinking oh no he’s cute and then falling in love with him. Look, he is actually pretty cute. I don’t make the rules. That dorky smile of his is great. He does have his flaws, like being focused only on his own problems. Dude just apologize. But they do get addressed. He’s a pretty good main character, and he really knows how to treat a girl. Home Depot date? SIGN ME UP. That’s going to be me some day, ok? I will meet some dude who shares my love for Home Depot and together we will wander the dusky aisles filled with all manner of appliances. Welp I kind of lost the plot. Anyway he has great date ideas. His little yellow car thing is a complete travesty but I will let it slide. Jorge has the better yellow vehicle but of course he does. Jorge is gangsta. 

(guy has that Kubrick stare)

Vince: The main antagonist besides the nebulous “corporate.” At first he seems like a blond flashlight that draws in the ladies like moths. He truly seems like a suave douchebag. As the movie goes on, you learn that this is untrue (the “suave” part). He is really awkward. Probably the only person in love with him is my main guy Jorge (Efren Ramirez). More on that at ten. Anyway, Vince is really good at cashiering. He does an unprofessional little circus act with the products that makes the ladies allegedly swoon. He gets Employee of the Month many, many times. Can Zack possibly usurp him?? Who knows! So yeah, Vince is a sopping and pathetic fellow. At some points you want him to shut up, but at other points you feel this deep well of pity for his plight. Negative points for using the r-word once >:( but also hey this is 2006. 

Amy: Uh. Ummm. Well she seems very friendly and… like a love interest. Uh… I’m sure there has to be more to her. Right? Oh well. Her big ears are pretty cute. Sadly, she doesn’t exactly have a personality or agency over the plot. I don’t really like plots that are just two guys fighting over a girl, except that turned out to not really be part of the movie so it’s fine. At least she called out Zack when he was being stupid, but that was mainly just to milk some drama. I think she and Lily should date.

Jorge: Jorge, the man that you are. Look, he is amazing and I cannot lie. What even is a salmon churro? The entire chat was yelling every time he was on screen. He first appears as Vince’s lackey, and he mainly helps out Vince with his various sabotage attempts. But he turns out to have more depth than that. He is like a short bug. He is willing to stab an old lady. Jorge is what we call “gangsta.” Everything he does is cool in a Jorge sort of way. He really made the movie. You can fight me on this. 

Lily: The Human Resources manager. Okay, so she doesn’t have dialogue (I think) but I wanted to include her here because she is cool and really pretty and I had a minor sexuality crisis once she arrived on screen (it happens every other day. Don’t worry about it). I like the lily in her hair. She was so real for accepting a bribe and eating that Butterfinger. <3

Grandma: She could be referred to as feisty. You could also say she’s bisexual. Kudos to her for keeping it real with Zack. The “seed of love” speech was…really dubious!

Boss man: Whatever is going on with him, it’s very gay. He outright says that he thinks/has thought about kissing guys. Maybe there’s something between him and the policeman? Anyway, I feel pretty bad that his older brother emasculated him. Not much else to say. He’s not exactly a paragon of professionalism, which is what makes this movie fun. He totally wants to be the fatherly boss but he fails. His lackey’s name is Dirk. Strider reference? You know it. (This was made 3 years before homestuck started).

BOSS Boss Man, aka Corporate Incarnate: Boss Man’s big brother, in the age sense. Okay, this guy kind of scares me. He is way less relaxed than Boss Man, and he certainly can drub people with canes. He runs a tight ship, so obviously he won’t stand for the main character mayhem going on. 

Iqbal: I don’t remember a ton of stuff about him, but he is like a lot of my family friends. He deserves good stuff because he had to put up with Zack’s crap for longer than necessary. Do I have to cover every single character? How about we move onto the main thing: shipping. It’s not really the main thing, but I'm going insane over it so for me it is.

SHIPS:

  Oh man okay, here we go. I already covered my very few thoughts on Zack/Amy so here are some ships that I find interesting.

Zack/Vince: Basically, the plot of the movie revolves around these two and their rivalry. I kind of doubt their hate is platonic. At one point Vince compares them to a pair of “old gay sailors.” Zack’s face really says it all, honestly:

Their scenes together had a ton of sexual chemistry. Intense Kubrick stares. Toreador-ish mop fights. Breaking into the other person’s house to make them late for work. You know. Like that. We all agreed that they are best summarized as “toxic yaoi.” Essentially, they are kismeses. Also, Vince is a complete mess around Amy but seems way more comfortable antagonizing Zack. I don’t think Zack is really into Vince, but it’s an interesting thought.

Vince/Jorge: Now this. THIS is the true romance of the story. You think I’m kidding? This is pretty much canon (or at least heavily implied). Where Zack and Vince had some sexual tension, these two have a Home Depot’s worth of romantic tension. They have so many little moments, like when they just kind of solemnly listen to music in a car (which turns out to be a bookend). They’re constantly around each other, and their relationship actually has an arc. Vince starts out kind of using Jorge as a henchman, but then Jorge goes against that. There’s a temporary breakup, and Vince kind of loses it. He has no one to talk to now. But he’s willing to pull himself together and give Jorge the space he needs to think things through. And THEN they have this big moment where they get back together as equals and it’s beautiful and okay it’s easier to just show you. 

(Previous image) Here we have Jorge helping Vince with his dorky-ass heelies because Vince is trying to be a coolkid like Zack.

And then we have that whole moment over there. They’re holding hands! (Hurt/comfort moment tbh)

THEIR VICTORY DANCES?? HELLO?? This is adorable i can’t

Okay, this is blatantly romantic. The words “please, come home” imply that they share a home. Perhaps they are even… roommates? But look, the normally rude Vince is actually being considerate. And he calls Jorge “homes.” Jorge normally calls him that!

Full access to the cashier’s lounge? Jorge you mad lad. 

Awww-

Okay I gasped aloud at this part. They are married. Or like they will be at some point in time. “It just feels right” yeah they are SO married. Look at the height difference. They are everything, as of four hours ago. This is cinema.

I can’t do this man why did I start reviewing this. They use each other’s pet names. Shit. Fuck you, Dane Cook movies. I hate feeling emotion like this.

yes, Jorge and Vince were the real romance subplot all along. They’re literally the last scene of the movie.

Look at the smile on Jorge’s face. Jegus. This ship is everything. These two were the real emotional core of the movie. Without them, I’d just be like “eh whatever at least it was fun.” But damn, they really delivered on the romance subplot.

Uh… Yeah I can’t really think of any other ships that I like. Vince/Amy sucks and they had nothing to say to each other. I like the idea of Amy/Lily, though! I think either of them could make employee of the month. I guess Amy/Zack is good for now though.

OTHER THINGS:

That clubhouse is awesome. Probably a big hazard considering it’s on top of that big shelf. But hey I want a Home Depot buddy lair too!

Vince saying he can get a little anal…. >:? Sir what.

Amy’s really out there auspiticizing for Zack and Vince huh? She deserves good things for having to put up with that

Why did it suddenly turn into a sports movie for a few minutes? Why were they playing softball against another hardware store? We may never know.

Banger soundtrack. 10/10.

And that’s a wrap everyone, catch me crying over the hug or making “ironic” fanart of Dane Cook and co. I really enjoyed this and I will hopefully be there for the next flick. Wow I wrote a lot about this movie. Uh. Consider it ironic, I suppose.

[pomefiorella]

My School Just Got Brainwashed by a Dangerous Dark Magic User so I’m Trying to Save Everyone with an Unhinged Merman!

── Prologue (Summary)✧: -> (Y/N) decides to do their homework after dropping Grim off in Heartslabyul for his sleepover with their other friends for the night. However, things slowly took a twisted turn when they received a text message from an anonymous person, asking them to meet up at the front gates of the Ramshackle Dorm.

── Warnings✧: Angst (Dark magic user dude starts trying to hypnotize you and you having a breakdown after being saved by the Leech twins </3)

── Word Count✧: 4.7k words

SERIES'S MASTERLIST | FULL MASTERLIST

“Are you sure you’ll be fine, Grim?”

“Yep! Don’t worry about me! The Great Grim can handle being without his henchhuman just for one night!”

(Y/N) could only nod at their companion as they placed his belongings right by the table near the sofa he was sitting on- which was just a plastic bag filled with a couple of tuna cans that they had recently bought from Sam’s Mystery Shop. They were a little bit concerned for Grim cause both of them would never really separate from each other’s presence, always seen together all the time. But this time, the cat-beast wants to have a sleepover with both Ace and Deuce in Heartslabyul only for one night, after he agreed to duel with the ginger in a battle of Super Smash Bros after he had recently brought his Wii from his home. They don’t know how Grim would be able to use the controller but they have faith in him! Plus, thinking about him trying to do so is pretty adorable but they didn’t say it out loud.

“It’s too bad that you’re not gonna join us for our sleepover, (Y/N). You sure you’re not gonna come with us?”

Ace approached closer to the two before leaning against a nearby wall, looking at the Prefect with a carefree smile on his face. He was already in his pajamas, which are merely a plain T-shirt and heart-patterned sweatpants. It does suit him and his aesthetic and he is already prepared for the duel to happen once the three of them got inside his room. He looked a little bummed out but overall, wasn’t so upset over it.

“Nah, I haven’t finished that one assignment Professor Crewel gave to us last week. I’m surprised that you’re actually done with yours.”

(Y/N) giggled at the last words they spoke in a joking manner.

“Aww, c’mon! Do you think I could laze off on such an easy assignment? I’m glad that he only gave us some calculations that we just need to solve this time. I’m not ALWAYS a slacker, y’know?”

The ginger ended up chuckling at the joke before looking over at Grim, his expression changes to a confident grin rather quickly. He puts his hands on his hips smugly.

“So, are you ready to do this, Grim? I can’t guarantee that I will go easy on you though, even if you’re still a beginner!”

“Hey! I’m sure that I’m going to beat you in this game before you know it!”

The cat-beast is immediately heated up by the sudden comment and stomped his foot as he felt a flash of irritation, glaring at Ace. He still has that infamous cocky smirk that he now shows off to him, clearly enjoying his reaction. All of a sudden, a familiar voice was heard in the kitchen and it was quickly revealed to be Deuce, also wearing pajamas that are long-sleeved while holding some snacks in hand. He looked at both of them before sighing out of dismay.

“Are you both seriously going to fight here? Riddle is already lenient enough to have us have a sleepover tonight- What if he scolds us again over th-”

“Yeah, yeah- Anyways, let’s go! See ya, (Y/N)!

Ace suddenly grabs the plastic bag filled with tuna cans before grabbing Deuce by the sleeves and start dragging him over to his room, making him stumble in shock as he tries to not let the snacks in his hand fall off to the ground.

“Ace, be careful! You’re going to make me knock the egg popcorn off!”

The ginger seems to be ignoring his friend on purpose, both the Prefect and the cat-beast witnessing that Deuce still is yanked. (Y/N) could only chuckle at the sight, wondering at some point just how the two of them somehow became friends despite their attitudes towards each other. They would then took notice that Grim starts to run off, following the two of them, which makes them quietly yell out to him (they didn’t want to risk being chided by Riddle for being so loud in the halls, even at this point, Ace and Deuce is already doing the same).

“Have fun, Grim! Text me through Deuce’s phone if you need anything!”

“Mhm, bye henchhuman!”

Grim excitedly ran over to Ace’s door and the door soon shuts, leaving only (Y/N) behind. They would pull out their phone from their pockets, wanting to look at the time. It was now 5:30 PM. They were glad that they can get a phone now thanks to the help of Professor Crewel, who was sympathetic enough to buy them one, feeling rather grateful for that. They proceeded to put back their phone inside their pockets and exited the Heartslabyul dorm.

Walking through the school halls, (Y/N) is having a peaceful moment to themselves while they are heading towards the library. They haven’t encountered anyone so far, which makes them slowly lose in their thoughts, daydreaming about how they just wanted to get to bed after doing their schoolwork. Those thoughts would then turn to their friends and wonder how their slumber party had gone so far. They hoped that they are having fun playing on the Wii and they giggled at the thought of Grim trying to use the controllers with his paws once more. That’ll be hilarious to watch! They wished that they could stay over with them and hang out for the night but unfortunately, they needed to finish their homework at the moment- Wait actually, is there another homework that’s assigned by Professor Trein that they still need to work on? They would have to check on their notes so-

Suddenly, (Y/N) felt a strong bump against their back before two arms wrapped around their body. They could easily recognize that oh-so-familiar voice. “Shrimpy!! Whatcha doing right now? Is it something fun?”

“Good evening, Prefect. I hope we aren’t bothering you at the moment.”

Floyd, with a lot of enthusiasm, starts hugging- or rather, squeezing a bit tightly around (Y/N). They can see Jade right beside him, a hand placed against his chest as he plastered on a polite smile. They haven’t seen his face yet since he is hugging them behind their back but he can tell from countless interactions that they had that he is grinning at the very moment. They didn’t know how they haven’t heard any footsteps behind them it makes sense that the tweels are capable of doing that, let alone creeping up on somebody before inevitably scaring them, whether it’s on purpose or not. Still, they laughed a little before smiling at them in a friendly manner. 

“Hey, you two! Don’t worry, you guys aren’t bothering me! I’m planning on going to the library.”

“Oh? Aren’t you supposed to have a shift today with us?”

Jade placed a hand under his chin, a spark of curiosity can be seen in his eyes.

“I’ve already told Azul that I won’t be able to cover my shift for today 'cause I need to do my homework-”

(Y/N)’s words were caught off when Floyd would suddenly shake them like a maraca. They let out some noises as to being a person getting shaken violently.

“Aaaawwww! But I’ll get SOOO BORED without you, Shrimpy!! Please PLLEEAASSEE take the shift with us!!”

As the merman begged and shake the Prefect rather aggressively to come and join in their shift for today’s work on the Mostro Lounge, Jade simply watches the two as he snickered a bit at the interaction, finding it rather amusing. However, he puts a hand over his brother’s shoulder, getting his attention for a moment.

“Floyd, stop shaking them. They’ll get dizzy.”

Floyd huffs out of annoyance before he stops shaking them completely and lets their shoulders go. The Prefect’s head was spinning, their uniform and hair slightly a mess now. Seeing it, Floyd moves closer to them to try and fix their appearance but after just two minutes, their appearance is now even more messy than before, as if they have just woken up from bed. The twins looked over at them before starting to snort and giggle at their messy appearance. (Y/N) could only do the same as well, finding the whole situation silly. 

(Y/N) has no idea how they could actually have a close relationship with the tweels when they first met, seeing how they can get.. unpredictable at times. Many of their friends disapprove of interacting with any of them as they fear that they could get caught up in their schemes and shenanigans, especially when it’s well-known that they work under Azul. But, since they needed more money to be able to afford their daily necessities and the constant stock of tuna cans for their companion, they decided to apply for a job at Mostro Lounge. It can sound risky cause, after all, they ‘can get potentially scammed and suffer the consequences of it’ by Azul himself, one might warn but they have already known that the capitalist wouldn’t do that anymore and those warnings are already old news (though, they do agree that he can be still quite shady at times with his business practices). After getting accepted for the position they applied as a waiter, that’s when they were also assigned the same shifts the Leech twins have. 

At this point, they did already have interacted with the twins a couple of times but they aren’t as close as they are now. Eventually, when they began taking their shifts, they started to interact more with the two and they began to form a strong bond. It’s safe to assume that the three of them have a great relationship with each other, despite everyone else’s displeasure.

“I think that Azul hasn’t informed us about this yet, most likely he’s forgotten about it.”

“Yes, that seems to most likely be the case!”

Floyd slumps over (Y/N)’s shoulder, groaning before looking over at them with a frown.

“I don’t want to take the shift if you’re not gonna join in, Shrimpyy…”

(Y/N) sighs a little, smiling at the merman before patting him on the head.

“Sorry, Floyd... I need to skip my shift for my schoolwork but I promise that I’ll hang out with you and Jade next time, alright? Maybe.. the beach could work?”

As soon as he heard this, Floyd immediately lets go of the Prefect, his dejected look instantaneously turns into a huge delighted smile. 

“Really?? That sounds fun, Shrimpy! Of course!”

Well, at least his mood has been lifted now! The Prefect giggled over at the sudden change of mood, before also going to Jade and giving him some pats on the head. He watches them whatever they’re doing, seemingly entertained by whatever they are doing and the idea they just brought up. He held both of his hands together and places them right in front of him.

“I am interested in your proposal, Prefect. Should the weekends be alright with you then?”

(Y/N) nodded, giving a quick smile to him.

“Yep! I don’t have any plans during that- well, except if the headmage wants me to do any sort of chore around the school. Hopefully not, this time.”

Jade chuckles, closing his eyes as he kept on that courteous smile on his face, giving more of a fox-like look. 

“Alright, it’s settled then. We don’t want to disturb you any further so we will be heading over to the Mostro Lounge. I do wish you good luck on completing your school assignments, Prefect.’

“Bye-bye, Shrimpy! Don’t forget our little date, okay?~”

Floyd teased the Prefect before following after Jade, who was already walking over to the Mostro Lounge. (Y/N) waved goodbye to the twins before turning their back and going in the opposite direction. After only a minute or two, they arrived just outside the doors to the library. They opened and entered the room to see that there aren’t as many people in there as they have expected. Maybe that’s because they didn’t visit the library that frequently, mostly studying in their room with Grim whenever they need to with a bribe of tuna cans in exchange.

“Not a lot of people here, hm? That’s good. I could get some peace for myself then.”

(Y/N) thought to themselves, closing the door behind them, and walking further inside the room to find a spot to sit. They would immediately spot an empty bench and chair just right at the corner of the room. Perfect! They walked over and placed their bag on top of the table, claiming their spot. Opening their bag, they pulled out some books and papers and some stationeries before closing it again and placing their bag on a chair. They would finally sit next to it and begin focusing on working on their school assignments.

..(Y/N) has no idea how long they have been here, sitting in this seat while writing down and calculating their answers on paper. They did take breaks whenever they could for a couple of minutes but they barely checked their phone so far whenever they are having one, usually just staring off into space with their own thoughts or doodling whatever something is in their head. After now finishing most of their school assignments and having only a few questions left to answer, their phone vibrated, signaling that it was time to take a break. They quickly grabbed their phone before turning the alarm off. Hmm, maybe it’s time they checked their phone for a bit for this one instead?

They saw a couple of notifications from the group chat both Ace and Deuce are also in. They tap one of them and in an instant, their screen turns into a chat, where they could see some photos of the three friends having fun at their sleepover. The pictures are most likely taken by Deuce, who was the one who uploaded them. (Y/N) looked through the photos while giggling at some of them. They saw one where Grim was laughing over at Ace, who had lost a round of the game, whereas the ginger looks obviously annoyed at him. It looked so comical from the context that they are getting and based on the photos given in the chat, they are glad that those three idiots are having fun. 

They noticed the time now, it was already 8:40 PM. Huh, they didn’t expect that they would take that long to do their schoolwork but then again, they just noticed that they have a few more to do other than that one homework from Professor Crewel when they first started. It isn’t really a big deal however, they still do have the time to finish these last questio-

A sudden ring disrupts their thoughts once more. It was a new notification, this time from an unknown number.

Oh? Who’s this?

(Y/N) thinks for a moment about what should they do before deciding to press on the notification to look at the chat. From there, they raised a brow when they read the message given.

This is… strange already. Is this someone they’ve already known pranking them at the moment? They would type in a response.

This must’ve been someone talking to the wrong number, they hoped. They continued staring at the screen, waiting for another response. The user has been taking a bit trying to message back and it’s probably because they are also trying to think what to reply. (Y/N) felt anxious but they just hoped that they are overthinking right now! How bad this random text message coming from an unknown user could possibly be?-

..Ah, going for the sketchy route now! What could they possibly want? The Prefect begins thinking to themselves and their next decision. 

“Is it fine if I agree to them? What if something bad happens if I do?”

(Y/N) quietly mutters, looking back at the text message.

..They then type in another reply, their curiosity getting the better of them.

In an instant, another message chimed in, and this time, (Y/N)’s eyes widened in shock.

This- this has to be a prank, right?

The expression on their face turns into a terrified one, thinking of the worse possibilities that could happen. They hoped this was just an ugly prank that their friends were pulling on them, but they couldn’t help but feel worried. Calming themselves down, they decided to follow along with whatever this stranger told them to do at this very moment.

As soon as they turned off their phone, (Y/N) let out a deep sigh, feeling a wave of uneasiness crawling up from their back. They shoved their phone inside their pockets, hurriedly stuffing all their things back into their bag. They can always do the last questions later cause right now, they are so worked up on this mysterious user and whatever schemes they are planning at the moment that they wouldn’t be able to focus on their homework. After making sure they had everything brought, they made their way out of the library and started dashing through the halls. They knew this stranger would still be waiting for them, yet it was better to get there as soon as they can, in case something did happen.

“Whew..- Made it..!”

The Prefect tried to take a breather after running from the corridors back to the Ramshackle Dorm for who knows how long. They have arrived at the dorm’s gates, leaning against the railings as they look around for signs of a person around here. The stranger said they would be waiting for them right here but... where are they now?

“Um.. hello? It’s (Y/N)- the person you just talked to?- Please come out and show yourself, now!”

They called out to… whoever was out there in the dark. Although they had already lived in the dorm for quite a while, it suddenly got so cold for them. Everything looks like it comes from a classic horror film- they aren’t sure whether they are imagining things or that something sinister, lurking out there, is about to happen. Out of nowhere, they heard a small rustle behind a nearby tree. 

They looked behind them and saw… glowing, red eyes staring at them behind the tree.

Immediately, they felt a shiver down their spine once they make eye contact with them. The eyes belonging to the person started to step out of the shadows, slowly revealing themselves and their appearance. (Y/N) clutched their bag that slugs over their shoulder tightly, never breaking eye contact with the stranger once. They are scared deep inside but keep up a persistent, determined face right in front of them.

“Hello, it’s nice to meet you again, (Y/N).”

Now being able to look at the features of this stranger, he appears a male to be as tall as a bookcase from a library, easily towering over anyone he crosses paths with. While he wears an NRC uniform, looking closely, it doesn’t seem that there’s any badge on their left arm that could indicate which dorm they are in. Actually, (Y/N) couldn’t recall ever encountering this person before. 

The most eye-catching feature of this stranger, however, is his smile. 

His smile wasn’t those friendly smiles they would see every day from their friends or the lighthearted ones they can get from them whenever they are joking around. No, he gave them a sincere, eerie smile, that screams danger that’s about to break loose if you approach any bit closer towards him. That you would regret that decision if you did that.

As he comes closer, the Prefect also takes a few steps back for safety.

“W-who are you?- Which dorm are you from…? And what do you want from me…?-”

The sudden questions made the stranger stop in their tracks, and his smile turned into a dark grin, chuckling at them. 

“Ohoh, you’re going with the questions already? Well, it’s fine. I can answer them first.”

He proceeds to take a step closer.

“My name is Orion.”

And another one.

“..I’m from the Diasmonia dorm and..”

Yet again, another one. (Y/N) could feel their heart pounding fast from dread and their instincts to get out of there as soon as possible.

“...The reason why I wanted you to meet me is that…you see, I have heard many incredible things from you and-”

“I want you to join my army.”

They don’t like how Orion words it, especially how he’s looking at them with pure malice behind those eyes. 

“H-huh? What do you mean by ‘army’...?”

They would only be received a loud, creepy laugh from the stranger as a response.

“Just don’t question it, dear. Come closer to me and all of your questions will be answered.”

Orion would approach closer and closer and was about to grab them by their shoulders when (Y/N) immediately ducked just as he was about to catch them before throwing their bag to his face and making a run for it. The stranger curses out a little, throwing the bag to the ground before his sinister smile comes back again. He seems amused seeing them running as far as possible from him. “...So now we’re playing a game of cat and mouse, hm? Then, so be it. I’ll come to get you, prey.”

All that (Y/N) could think of is to run.

They ran far away from the Ramshackle Dorm, not even once looking back to check if Orion is chasing after them or not. They never wanted to see that face ever again. They yanked their phone out of their pockets as they turned over to the corridor, starting to text and warn their friends about the encounter with the stranger. They have no idea where they’re planning on going, but there is one place they have in mind: Octavinelle. 

Jumping inside the mirror and getting transported inside the dorm, they begin to sprint again, even though they are already running out of stamina. By this point, they have messaged Ace and Deuce but so far, none of them have read the message yet.

“Shit, I hope I’m not too late-”

The tweels would often tell them to come and find them if there’s anything dangerous happening to them and that they couldn’t solve it themselves. They think that right now is a good opportunity to do that as they are heading towards the entrance of the Mostro Lounge. It should be closed at this hour so they could spot them easily in there.

But, without (Y/N) noticing, a foot appears right under their legs, making them trip over to the floor with no warnings whatsoever. They lay there on the floor, grunting in pain. Soon, their collar gets yanked and their back is forcefully pushed against a wall. Their eyes are met with the same red eyes they saw earlier. They went as pale as a ghost as soon as they realized that it was Orion. 

He simply chuckled maniacally at their reaction. 

“You were so cute running away like that. But I’m afraid I don’t have the time to goof off again. Now… look at me.”

His eyes began to glow a lot brighter and as they were forced to look into his eyes, they felt… a force starting to push them somewhere in their mind and they felt their head aching all of a sudden. Was he… trying to hypnotize them?

(Y/N) tries their best to do anything to fight back at Orion; clawing at his hands to get him off their collar and calling out for help, but their attempts appear to be futile as his gaze is just so alluring. They get dizzier and dizzier as he continues to stare even deeper. They are slowly succumbing to his hypnotism, and unfortunately, they don’t have a lot of energy with them now thanks to them running not a while ago.

“Just give in.”

Orion coldly whispers, flashing a menacing smile. He enjoys watching them squirm and cry out for help, knowing they are too weak to handle his power.

No no no- They didn’t want this to happen. They don’t know what’s going to happen to them if they gave up. Still not giving up, they still weakly shout for anyone to help them while they can feel gradually unable to resist him. 

“...Help…!- Help-”

At that moment, a gush of water hit Orion’s head.

He completely stopped whatever he was doing and looked behind to see whoever threw that pan, loosening his grip on the Prefect and letting them go as he turns around. They dropped to the ground with a loud thud. They wheezed, feeling their lungs fighting for air like never before as if they had been drowning a second ago. They held onto their chest as they looked up at Orion with pure fear in their eyes, their entire body trembling.

In front of Orion were… the Leech twins and- Oh, both of them didn’t look so happy. They looked like they just got out from their shifts and were glaring daggers and scowling at the stranger, gripping onto their wands real firm. It looked like they could even pounce at him and shred him to pieces at any given moment. Not even words were needed to know that the twins were pissed.

Still, (Y/N) could hear Orion cackling at their reactions, treating them like a joke to him. He would turn to look at them, that haunting smile still plastered on his face. 

“You’ll regret what you’ve done. I’ll be back for you.”

And just like that, he suddenly disappears into thin air in a puff of red smoke.

(Y/N) still can’t believe what they witnessed a moment ago. They couldn’t shake their thoughts from it as tears started to prick their eyes, shaken up from fright as they just stayed there, laying on the floor. The twins rush over to them out of concern, one of them kneeling right in front of them to hold out a hand. The other twin pulls out his phone and makes a call to someone, but they couldn’t hear who it was on the other line. 

“Hey- Are you alright..? What happened?”

The Prefect shakily grabbed his hand before he gently pulled them into a hug. They hugged him as if he was just going to disappear soon, which made the twin even more worried, resulting in him patting their back gently.

This encourages (Y/N) to start spilling everything that they know of. From the encounter they had with Orion to what he had tried to do to them, they told everything to their trusted friends. They were struggling a little, however, trying to back off tears from getting too emotional. It’s just that… this is the first time where they tried to face off against something that they are clearly incapable of, except no one was on their side to defend them with whatever kind of magic they have. Even if they would be the ones who would handle these fights and overblots in the school, they would always have their friend group to stick around and support each other. This time though, this is so much different as they are all alone throughout the entire situation and it is quite an experience. They have never felt so scared before and the last time they have felt that way was the first time they walked into Twisted Wonderland. It made them realize how truly vulnerable they are without anyone in this world and it felt horrific. 

What if the twins weren’t there to save them on time? Would they be brainwashed for a long period of time or- forever?

“..I- I don’t know what would happen to me if… he were to be successful with his attempt…- Fuck, I thought that I was dying when he almost got me-”

"It's alright… we're here now."

The twin kept on comforting (Y/N), repeatedly stroking their back in a circular pattern as they glanced at the other twin, both sharing the same look of being concerned for their friend and getting more enraged at whoever this ‘Orion’ person is. The Prefect’s breaths gradually become softened and the quiet sobs have stopped. At last, they have fallen fast asleep, their energy completely drained from today’s events.

Noticing this, the twins soon walked into a nearby guest bedroom to place (Y/N) there for now. As they tucked them in with the blankets, they once again looked at each other with a knowing look, sharing the one and only goal that they have in mind: To find Orion and hunt him down.

[autisticlancemcclain]

Lance isn’t good at asking for help. Really, he never has been. He doesn’t like it. It makes him uncomfortable, having to look lesser than he already does. And, like, he’s not trying to say that in a macho, I’m-too-manly-to-be-vulnerable, bullshit way. Nor does he think that asking for help is, inherently, an admission of weakness. He’s always very happy when people come to him for help, and he would never in a million years think less of them for it.

But the rules are different for Lance, and that’s a fact.

For whatever reason, one he’s been unable to discern, people tend to immediately think the worst of him. Always. He’s always the slacker, the guy who can’t take anything seriously, the guy who fucks things up and needs instructions explained to him twice because he’s too stupid to understand the first time. He doesn’t fucking know why so many people think this of him. He’s a goofy guy, sure, but, like… so is Hunk. So is Coran. So is Marco, so is Lance’s abuela, so are dozens of people in his life. But for whatever reason, those people are allowed to be goofy and smart. Goofy and wise. Goofy and talented. Goofy and kind.

Not Lance. Lance is, for whatever reason, one-dimensional in everyone’s head.

And he knows he’s right. He fucking knows it. He remembers complaining about homework in the Garrison, and hearing Pidge make a comment about helping him in math because “that must be what you’re struggling with, right, dude?” Lance was top of his fucking math class. He was higher up than her. Lance is really fucking good at math. He didn’t and doesn’t need her fucking tutelage, and it pissed him off that she asked. That she assumed he did.

But he swallowed it down, and laughed, because he knew she wasn’t being malicious.

And, like, if that was it? Then this wouldn’t be a problem. Lance would be able to shrug it off and move on.

But that’s not it.

Take the Nyma incident, for example. The team brings that up, no word of a lie, every single day. Somehow someone finds a way to squeeze in a joke. And it’s not even just the jokes — there’s the underlying tension that everyone truly believes, in the back of their minds, that Lance can’t be fully trusted with his lion. Which is fucking ridiculous, because each and every person on the goddamn team has made a mistake that nearly cost them the goddamn war. Pidge trying to run away from Voltron in the first few days. Allura and Keith when they decided to run away, leaving the rest of the team defenseless. Hunk succumbing to the mind control and nearly fucking killing Lance on the mermaid planet. Every time Shiro has a PTSD episode, even though of course it’s not his fault. Of course Lance has fucked up. Drastically. But so has everyone else. How come it’s only him who’s the butt of the joke? How come he’s the reckless one, who can’t stay out of the pods? (Even though he won’t touch those fucking death traps unless he’s unconscious, so that’s not even true.) How come he’s the dumbest team member? How come he’s not allowed to help in strategy meetings? How come he gets singled out when Shiro and Allura are asking them to behave, even though Pidge and Hunk — and he’s counted — have caused three times as many diplomatic crises as he has?

How come he’s not allowed the same forgiveness as anyone else?

It frustrates him. But it’s been like this most of his life. In school he was the class clown, even though he really didn’t make jokes during lectures. (Not intentionally, at least. He asked a lot of questions that made people laugh, for whatever reason, but that was almost never his goal! People just weren’t very clear when they spoke!) He can remember having teachers offhandedly mention to his mother that he had ‘behavioural issues’, but were unable to provide examples when she pressed. They just assumed he did. He can remember getting singled out by every fucking officer at the Garrison as the reason the sims failed, even though it really wasn’t always true.

He’s not sure what it is about him that makes people think he’s so pathetic. But he’s sure as shit not going to make it worse for himself, so unless he’s completely, physically incapable of handling a problem on his own, he’s going to keep his mouth shut and head down.

He’s pretty good at that, too, even though no one would believe him. Take the pods, for example.

Lance fucking hates them.

He’s terrified of them. Like, actual, palm-sweat panic-attack terrified. Unfortunately, getting stuck in one fucked him up more than he realised. He can’t think of them without shuddering. So he did what he always does when he’s afraid: learnt every possible thing there is to know about them. He did it as a kid, when he was afraid of drowning. (His best friend, when he was five, got caught in a riptide and drowned right in front of him. He’d been terrified of the ocean, after. Made himself walk closer to it every day while learning every possible thing there was to know about it until he could live with the terror. Until he could even turn the terror into exhilaration, swimming as far out as he dared and staying under as long as his lungs could bare, just to feel his heart pound in his ears and his hind brain go haywire.)

He did it in space, after the pods tried to bury him alive.

He learned — from Coran and from the castle’s library — that the pods are not miracle workers. They cannot make something out of nothing anymore than they can reanimate the dead. The pods, really, are a sort of advanced coma. They can accelerate what healing the body can already do. They can even take cells and other parts of the body and make skin grafts, kill tumours, all sorts of things — but they can’t repair what no longer exists.

Lance, after the Rover explosion, lost two things.

First was almost the entirety of the skin of his back. Ripped to shreds, it was. His head, by some miracle, had remained largely unscathed — except for the concussion that went untreated for too long, that affected his brain in more ways than he was willing to admit, that made memory recall a lot harder than it used to be — and his jeans had done a pretty good job of protecting the backs of his legs.

But his thin t-shirt did nothing to protect his back. And there was only so much the pod could do.

Most of his back was one giant mess of scar tissue and skin grafts. And as scar tissues and skin grafts tend to do — they hurt.

They hurt a lot.

Nerve damage is a strange thing. Sometimes it makes entire parts of your body go numb. Unfortunately for Lance, it’s the opposite: regularly, and unpredictability, his back feels like it’s burning. Like he never left the explosion. Like he’s in a constant state of purgatory.

And for the first few weeks, Lance handled it. He grit his teeth and waved off the concerns of his teammates, assuring them with a wink and a grin that he’d healed up just as handsome as before. (Which, of course, was a lie for several reasons. Every time Lance caught a glance of himself in the mirror — of the writhing mass of revulsion that makes up the skin of his back — he wants to wipe his memory. Restart. Pretend it never happened, pretend he’s still pretty, still untouched by twistedness. But that’s nobody’s business but his own, so he holds his tongue.)

Day after day of the skin of his back feeling the constant, never-ending excruciating pain of cooking flesh, he gave in. Hunched in on himself, dragged himself to Coran’s room, and asked if there was something to be done.

Coran was horrified, of course. Baffled that Lance didn’t come to him sooner, that he swallowed down the agony and tried to deal with it himself. And he of course had a solution; a balm that would provide instant, long-lasting relief. But there was no permanent fix. No pill he could take, either. Every couple of weeks, he had no choice but to slump his way to Coran and have the man rub to ointment into his back, because he couldn’t reach himself.

It was humiliating, being so reliant on another person. Being so totally incapable of handling things himself, of being his own goddamn person. At least Coran was kind, was discreet — he knew without saying that this was not something to be shared with anyone else. He knew to help Lance as quickly as possible, so Lance could retreat to nurse his wounded pride in peace.

It was because of his wounded pride that made the second thing so difficult: along with the skin of his back, the explosion had stolen his hearing.

Not completely. He wasn’t completely deaf. But he was no Altean superhuman, and the delicate hairs in his ears that allowed his brain to pick up sound waves have shattered so close to the explosion. Broken. He’d taken some sort of magnifying device himself to assess the damage, the night he fell out of the healing pod, panicked because his fucking ears weren’t working and dreading what he would find: hundreds of little hairs, much smaller than they were supposed to be. Too small to hear words, to hear people speak.

He could of course still hear them speak. He could hear when people were speaking, still hear the tone and pitch of their voices and the way they crafted their sentences. But it felt like he was dozens of feet underwater, far away from everyone else, completely incapable of picking out individual words and phrases and lost on their meanings.

Luckily, he adapted.

He’s always been pretty good at reading lips. Since it’s always been hard for him to make any kind of eye contact, he tended to focus on people’s mouths when they spoke, and inadvertently picked up some skills as he grew up.

But lip reading isn’t very reliable. You can be the best in the world, and you’re still going to miss half of what people are saying.

Especially if, say, people are speaking your second language. Or an alien language you don’t even know, at least not fluently.

Luckily for Lance, he lives on a magical space castle that has magical space translators. He doesn’t know how they work — and, honestly, aside from Coran, doubts anyone else does either — but he knows that they translate the words of whomever’s speaking into the language easiest to understand for you. Before, he was hearing everyone else’s words in Spanglish — now, he was seeing them. Little close captions appeared above the heads of whomever was speaking. He looked a little odd, sure, constantly looking just above everyone, but holy shit, he did not care. So long as he could communicate, it did not fucking matter. (It was even easier when he was in his armour, and everyone’s words flashed along his visor, colour-coded and in order. He’s been remarkably more fond of training and missions since that explosion, fancy that.)

The biggest flaw to this system is that everyone else still has a communicative advantage over Lance, and they do not know it. They speak as they always have, often excitably and all over each other, and Lance can’t quite keep up. He’s never been a particularly fast reader, but even if he was, there’d always be a delay, a millisecond of processing that stretched just long enough that people looked at him strangely. And, of course, Lance could only read one thing at once. If two people were talking at the same time, or if they were trying to talk to him without looking at him, it was inevitable that Lance misses. Chunks of the conversation, inside jokes, and worst of all, instructions. He’s taken to asking people to write important things down for him, which does not help his reputation as resident dumbass.

All in all, it’s not a perfect solution. But it’s a solution, at least, and that’s something.

Except when magical space castles break down.

It turns out, you see, that space magic is not in fact space magic, but instead ridiculously advanced space technology. And if there’s one thing that technology can be universally relied upon to do, it’s break down.

Which does not bode well for Lance, currently.

He walks onto the bridge — late, of course, because the alarms are barely fucking alarms for him, they do not wake him up, so of course he shows up in his pajamas and for sure everyone thinks he’s a lazy piece of shit who can’t be assed to take anything seriously — to a lot of thinly veiled panic.

And to a lack of closed captions that he’s been heavily relying on for the better part of a year.

Based on the general air of panic, expressions of frustrated confusion between the Alteans and humans, and the lack of fucking captions, Lance can wary a guess as to what’s going on.

The translators are down.

And, obviously, that bodes a bit of a problem. Especially because they have a mission today, one they can’t afford to fuck up. (Not that they can ever afford to fuck up. No, Voltron needs to be perfect every time, because there are lives at stake, except Voltron is made of humans, so they fuck up all the time. It weighs on each of them. When Lance is feeling particularly masochistic, he wonders what’s going to happen when they snap under the pressure. When he snaps under the pressure.)

Lance stands to the sidelines, carefully watching what everyone else is saying and doing. Shiro and Allura attempt to converse for a while, with words and gestures, but it goes nowhere and they both give up. Pidge and Hunk are talking just fine, but they both look nervous, and they’re curled inwards towards each other enough that Lance can’t see what they’re saying. Coran is nowhere to be found, likely attempting to fix this mess, and Keith is — Keith is watching him.

Lance looks away. He cannot be under scrutiny. Not right now. Because… well.

You see, deaf people can’t be fighter pilots.

Period.

Commercial airlines are one thing, but fighter pilots require a lot of split-second decisions to be made after audio information, be they orders or the sound of your fucking aircraft going up in flames. If you can’t hear those sounds, can’t make those calls, you’re a liability to those around you.

Lance knows he’s being selfish. He knows it in every part of him, from the meat of his brain to the marrow of his bones. He know he is putting everyone at risk — putting himself at risk — by keeping quiet about his condition.

But he’s terrified.

Of course he’s replaceable. He’s a butt in a seat, basically. But unlike everyone else on the team, he is only a butt on a seat. He doesn’t bring anything else to the table, perhaps other than someone who can pick up the slack in the chore schedule when everyone else gets busy. He can’t hack through any computer known to man, can’t MacGuyver his way out of any situation with a screwdriver and sheer force of will, can’t offer piloting skills better than anyone else in the universe, can’t use his quintessence to open up wormholes. If he’s not a paladin, he’s useless.

And they don’t have enough resources to support useless people.

What are they going to do when they replace him? Keep him on the castle as a deadweight? Unlikely. Unbearable, too. Drop him off on a random planet and promise to pick him up when it’s all over? Too callous, even though it would be the best option. No one on the team would ever do that.

Drop him back on Earth? Alone? Knowing what’s out there, the danger Earth is in?

No. He couldn’t bear it.

Besides — he’s lasted this long. With captions, sure, and without them he can’t communicate at all or hear orders or get instructions or be a fucking paladin, but he’ll… manage.

They’ve already received their instructions for today’s mission. Lance already knows what he has to do, and it’s what he always does — provide support from a distance. Keep an eye on the team. Make sure no shots slip through.

(Sometimes, when he’s feeling grateful instead of masochistic, he thanks any higher power to every exist that he lost his hearing instead of his eyesight.)

Lance is startled from his thoughts by a heavy hand on his shoulder. He turns wide eyes to Shiro, looking at him carefully, assessing.

“You okay?”

Lance is used to those words. He gets them a lot. So that’s not hard to read.

“I’m fine,” he says, and he knows he’s too loud even before Shiro winces, because even his own broken ears heard that. “Um, just a little stressed. ‘Cause the translators are down, and all.”

Truly Lance does not need to read Shiro’s lips to guess what he is saying — we’re gonna be fine, we’ll get through this together, this is rough but we’re strong, et cetera, et cetera.

Fuck, Lance thinks, dread piling up his chest, if only you knew.

Shiro voices a few more short instructions to the team, Pidge haltingly trying to translate for Allura with her limited Altean — which, judging by their expressions, is going not so great — before clapping his hands and sending them to their hangars.

Lance squeezes his fists to hold back tears as he runs.

Fine. Fine. This is going to be fine. Magically, this time, things are going to go exactly to plan, and he’ll support as he always done and somehow there will be no issues, this time, and everything will be fine and the translators will get fixed and Lance will continue delaying the inevitable. It’s fine.

God, Lance is so fucking scared.

He settles into Blue, greeting her softly and getting her gentle affection in return. (It’s something, at least, that Blue knows who he is and loves him still, believes in him still. It gives him hope, even though he knows it’s foolish.)

And, shockingly, the first part of the mission goes…okay. It’s not great, obviously, because they’ve basically got no castle support, but Blue manages to make her own kind of captions on her dash so Lance gets a refresher of the plan and stays on the same page as everyone else.

It’s the infiltration part that’s so much harder.

He doesn’t have Blue’s captions on his helmet, so he’s going in completely blind — or, deaf, rather. The only thing he can really hear is his own laboured breathing, and he doesn’t know if it’s because he’s really that loud or because he knows he’s panicking, but it doesn’t really matter. He slinks through the shadows, carefully avoiding patrolling Galran soldiers. (Which, actually, is really fucking hard since he can’t hear them coming. In the first few weeks post-explosion, it was literally impossible. He was caught every time, and regularly blew stealth missions as he tried to cover himself and keep himself alive. He also didn’t know when he was being loud, back then, so regularly led himself straight into ambushes, which didn’t help the team’s trust in him to be able to handle his goddamn self. It took him months of secret training in the dead of night to learn to trust his intuition, to memorize patrolling schedules and anticipate when he has to make himself invisible. He is pretty good at it now, though, so at least something good has come from this mess.)

Finally he reaches boiler room tucked into a corner of a hallway, which he knows from experience and from memorizing layouts to Galran ships has an air vent that leads to the tiniest of alcoves near the ceiling of the bridge. He’s not sure what purpose this alcove is supposed to serve, but he knows it’s excellent for his purposes — remaining hidden and invisible so he can provide support while the rest of the team goes ham.

Even without the captions that tell him what everyone’s saying on the comms — and dear God, he hopes no one is talking to him, but that usually doesn’t happen because of his position anyway — he thinks he’s doing okay. This ship they’re infiltration is pretty run-of-the-mill: no fancy info or prisoners or even soldiers. Just regular. All he has to do is keep his eyes trained on the battle scene in front of him, muffled sounds of violence fading into the background, as he picks off soldier after soldier, drone after drone, to keep his friends safe.

And then a hand wraps around his mouth, and panic fills him up so quickly his vision actually whites out.

Lance has a lot of nightmares. It’s a rare night that he doesn’t. And most of them are reoccurring — a select few scenarios that he sees again and again, night after night, that wake him up sobbing, in a cold sweat. The worst is watching as Earth — as his family — is destroyed by the Galra. Next is any dream where one of his team members doesn’t make it. After that, though, is a dream that always scares him so bad he can never get back to sleep after. The thing about being a sniper is that Lance can’t pay attention to himself. At all. All of his attention needs to be on the people he’s protecting, so he can shoot straight and keep shooting. This means that he is not, in any way, shape, or form, watching his own six. And since he lost his hearing, he’s completely defenseless, up in his little alcove. He can’t hear if someone’s coming, can’t even hear if someone’s spotted him. He’s pretty confident in his little alcove, but there’s always a risk. Always that fear. Always that nightmare, reoccurring night after night.

And now that nightmare is coming true. The hand around his eyes slides down his face until it’s wrapped around his throat, squeezing tightly. Lance doesn’t have even half a second to react, staring in mute horror as the Galran soldier — a commander, judging by the symbol on his chest plate — sneers at him, saying something that Lance can’t even hear, lips moving around words that he doesn’t know.

Finally, he recognises three: “Vrepit Sa, Paladin.”

And then he’s dropping to the floor, three stories down, limbs crumpling on impact and vision doing dark.

———

Right before the door of the pod opens, there’s a second of clarity. A millisecond in between when you regain consciousness and the glass clears.

That second always makes Lance panic.

But then he’s tipping forward into strong arms, familiar arms, and a familiar face and headband, and Hunk is saying, “Can you hear me, buddy?” because that’s the first thing anyone says when you come out of a pod and there are still no captions and Lance bursts into tears.

The whole team is gathered. Everyone sees. Everyone watches as he pushes Hunk away, ashamed, and covers his face in his hands and sobs.

“No,” he whispers, in between great heaving breaths so sharp they hurt his lungs. “No, I can’t hear anything.”

He’s not sure how long he stands there, shoulders hunched in on himself, tears and snot streaming down his face and dropping down his chin, arms wrapped tightly around his torso in a desperate attempt to keep himself from falling apart.

He’s not sure how long he stands there, falling to pieces in front of his team. He’s not sure into how many fragments he shatters, falling to the MedBay floor.

Eventually, though, his sobs peter out, because no matter how miserable you are and how stressed and how much you hate yourself there’s only so long you can cry. Only so long your rational brain can take a break and let your emotions run free before it says ‘alright, okay, that’s enough, dry up’.

By then, he realizes there’s a gloved hand on his shoulder, two warm bodies pressed on either side of him, one big and strong, one small and sharp. He feels the presence of three more people staring at him, sitting somewhere in front of him.

He takes a great shuddering breath and drops his hands from his face, forcing his eyes open.

Coran kneels in front of him, hand on his shoulders, eyebrows drawn in and expression deeply concerned. Pidge and Hunk sit on either side of him, pressed close, and Keith, Allura, and Shiro sit just behind Coran, looking at him with wide, confused eyes.

“What do mean, dear?” says Coran, or at least Lance thinks.

“I can’t hear. I’ve been deaf since the explosion.” His voice cracks as he says it, he feels the raspiness of his throat. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”

He feels Pidge and Hunk exhale sharply next to him, and watches as Coran’s expression breaks.

“Oh, Lance,” he says, and apparently Lance can cry more.

But before he can cover his face, this time, Coran tugs him forward, tucking his face into his neck. He mutters something comforting, Lance is sure, even though he can’t hear it, but the vibrations from Coran’s chest are soothing enough that this round of tears doesn’t hurt so much.

This round doesn’t feel like he’s shattering into millions of tiny little glass shards. This round, someone — lots of someones — is holding him together.

———

Lance, it turns out, is a lot more damaged than he thought.

Apparently his head didn’t emerge as unscathed from the explosion as he thought. Apparently there was a lot more brain damage than expected, and apparently a lot of the parts of Lance’s brain that are supposed to secrete chemicals — namely, happy chemicals, chemicals that identify love and keep one’s mood and self-esteem from plummeting into the fucking dirt and refusing to come back up — don’t work right anymore.

Apparently, there’s a reason Lance feels like he’s unloveable, and that he’s useless, and that he’s disposable.

So. That would’ve been nice to know a year ago.

But that doesn’t matter. He didn’t know a year ago, but he knows now (after a long overdue MRI and brain scan that makes everyone on the castle so fucking guilty Lance can taste it, which should be uncomfortable but Lance is so desperately happy that his friends actually care about him enough to feel guilty that all he really feels is relief).

Now things are better. A lot better, in fact. He still needs to ask someone for help every couple weeks with his back — which has gotten a lot less shameful and humiliating, go figure — but Hunk and Pidge made him some truly groundbreaking hearing aids.

Yeah. He can hear again. It’s not perfect, and nowhere near what his ears used to be, but the first time he turned them on and heard actual words, in a sentence he could hear and understand, he went pretty hysterical.

It felt like when the flu finally breaks and you can breathe properly again, only magnified by a million.

The last thing to change is kind of a mix of several things. For starters, he has meds, now, that he takes every day to keep his brain working right. It was startling, a few weeks after taking his medication, to look in the mirror and for the first time in a year not wish he had died in that explosion. (He mentioned that offhandedly to Coran when the man was asking him how the medication was working, and was shocked to watch the Altean break down into sobs, apologising to Lance for not noticing.

Like, holy crow.)

Secondly, after everyone stopped walking on eggshells around him, they started being more careful with their words. Lance hasn’t heard a Nyma joke in months. He’s regularly asked for his input when they’re planning missions, hell, he’s asked for help all the time for things that aren’t chores! It’s amazing. He’s not sure if the team has always had faith in him and his brain just couldn’t see it, or if it’s new, but honestly? He doesn’t care.

He didn’t realise how fucking long he had been treading water until he was finally allowed to put his feet on the ground, and it’s relieving.

There’s nothing like discovering you were loved the whole time.

[thesunshineriptide]

i loved the pose reactions sm! are you possibly able to do the twst boys reaction to reader having a lot of anxiety due to a big test coming up please?

I don’t normally do ones for every twst boy but I’ll make an exception because I’m susceptible to flattery smfhskfhkshf /t

Anyway each section will probably be short but yeah! I got you. Also I’m writing this under the assumption that the reader is a first year

Twst Boys When You’re Anxious About A Test

characters: everyone

Cw// none :D

Riddle

Riddle “Rose Of The Classroom” Rosehearts will GLADLY help you study if you’re anxious for a test. This comes at a price though because he may tell you he’s a patient teacher, but he is a Liar. On the other hand, you WILL get a hundred percent on your test and he will treat you to a tart and some tea afterward so. 5/10 mildly traumatizing but effective

Trey

He has study cards from when he was learning that and you do drills for like an hour. If that doesn’t work he sends you to Riddle. 6/10 he’s not that helpful

Cater

He’ll google the answers for you and then quiz you on them. If you get something wrong he just tells you what it is and has you write it in your notebook. 8/10 he’s not a great tutor but he’ll help with the anxiety

Ace

Tells you all the wrong information as a joke but when he begins to girlboss too close to the sun he’ll take it back and tell you (what he thinks are) the real answers. It should be noted if you’re nervous for a test he’s also nervous because he’s a slacker 4/10 an asshole

Deuce

Also nervous, ends up doing an impromptu study session with you the night before. He makes hot cocoa and steals some of trey’s coffee rolls and you two have a good time studying and talking. He’s the king of finding roundabout ways to study (pneumonics, doodling notes, singing little songs, audiobooks, etc) so if studying via drilling doesn’t work he’s honestly best bet. 9/10 most pleasant person to study with and you end up getting a good grade too!

Leona

He will not help you study but he will help with the anxiety. Kind of. He hands you a fidget toy and then takes a nap and uses you as a pillow. Being forced to sit still for an extended period of time gives you a long while to a) calm down and b) rethink everything you’ve learned and check it twice. If you’re really anxious for something like an exam, he’ll send one of the froshes from the dorm that does well to tutor you, or if you really really tug on his heartstrings, he might write a quick study guide on a napkin and hand it to you. 4/10 he’s not really helpful unless you’re like, seriously distressed

Ruggie

He’s more likely to just tell you to chill and that it’s not a big deal than anything else. He might be inclined to help you study (he’s so fuckin smart dude) if you’re willing to pay a price. The price is food feed him something and he’ll tell you whatever so long as he’s still eating. The second he’s done he’s out of there. 2/10 he’s got the brains but he is anti sharing-is-caring

Jack

A good boy who would love to help you study! He does his best in classes so he’s genuinely helpful and doesn’t ask for anything in return! 9/10

Azul

He can totally help you with that, just, yknow. You can’t get something for nothing. So he’ll give you one of his illustrious study guides and a shoulder to lean on so long as you’re willing to pay the price… 7/10

Jade

Literally Azul’s right hand man. He could help you…but he’ll probably just say you should talk to Azul. If you’re really important to him, he might make you a cup of tea and let you vent for a bit. Probably won’t help you study unless it’s something that interests him, sorry. 6/10

Floyd

He might help you study, he might tell you it’s boring and then basically kidnap you. He’s a great anxiety relief though, because you will soon forget your troubles when he’s excitedly showing you his dance moves or squeezing you close (and tight enough to break your ribs. You won’t have to do the test if you’re in the infirmary though!) 8/10

Kalim

He’s also anxious about the test. He doesn’t know what’s on it or what he’s going to do. You both will be having an anxiety attack by the end of it 1/10

Jamil

“I’d help you but I have to help Kalim. I guess you can come sit in on our tutoring, as long as you stay quiet.” He is so tired man but he’ll help out when he has time. 8/10 he will probably tell you to stfu at least once

Vil

He’s a lot like Riddle in the sense that you WILL ace the test and probably be miserable during the study session. What differs them is that if you get too distressed, he’ll help you calm back down. 9/10 he didn’t mean to make you cry sorry potato

Rook

Why do you want to go to him? Well, it’s actually not a bad idea because he would LOVE to help you study. Helps you study for hours on end until you get it. Is incredibly patient and explains things in different ways until you understand what he means. Shows you the practicality of the study. 10/10 he’s an excellent study partner

Epel

0/10 he doesn’t know what’s going on or how to comfort you. You will end up comforting him and you will both probably fail the test tbh

Idia

He doesn’t know how to help emotionally and probably runs away. If he does help you study, he’s nervous and fumbling over his words the whole time. His information is sound but his delivery is confusing. 6/10 he’s trying

Ortho

Tells you the answers because he doesn’t know better. 11/10 most helpful

Malleus

He didn’t know there was a test but he’s studying for it now! You two will probably sit in comfortable silence, studying independently but near each other, maybe exchanging a few questions back and forth. He probably has refreshments available for you and is genuinely just enjoying your company. Super calming to be around (if you’re not scared of him, which, if you went to him for this, you probably aren’t.) 9/10

Lilia

Hit or miss because if it’s for history he might tell you something that’s not on the tests/in the textbooks and then you might accidentally get a mark down for it. If it’s for anything else though, he’s a patient teacher (and a father) so you’ll probably get high marks! He might also offer you refreshments and it will ruin the vibe a little but don’t be rude he cares about you. 8/10 two points off for his shitty, well meaning cooking

Silver

Great for anxiety relief, bad for studying. He’s a certified narcoleptic which means studying is mostly gonna be spent on trying to keep him awake. If you have an endless amount of coffee then he’s a lot better as a study partner and is genuinely smart. He’s trying his best to help even if it’s a little bit of a struggle, but it’s a good time anyway. 8/10 he’s a sweetie

Sebek

He pays a lot of attention in class and unless you make it explicitly clear you need comfort, he will probably help and hinder at once. Probably yells (accidentally?) or makes fun of you when you don’t know something. If he goes too far and you get mad or start crying, he softens so fast it’s incredible. 4/10 you take -100 emotional damage

[jockbender]

Encounter with Akbar

When I found the old brass lamp as I was helping dad clear out Aunt Jane’s house, I couldn’t help rubbing it.

Before she died, I’d never met her and even though dad had said she was ‘kooky’ I’d never really taken him seriously until I started to help clear away the weird occult junk that filled her house.

Obviously, I didn’t expect anything to happen when I rubbed my thumb on the side of the tarnished old lamp but when a cloud of purple mist streamed out of the nozzle and condensed into this built Arab guy in silk pyjamas, I realised I’d hit the jackpot and found a bonafide genie.  

Introducing himself as Akbar, the genie of the lamp, he proudly announced that with the three wishes he would grant me as his new master, I could turn my dead end life around and live my dreams of being one of the successful, popular guys at college.

Naturally my first wish was to be the richest guy on campus.  Our family wasn’t exactly poor but money was always a bit tight and I longed to have the freedom those rich kids enjoyed to buy what they wanted, go on vacations abroad and generally live it up.  Sure enough, the second I’d told Akbar what I wanted, there was a flash of light and I saw in the mirror on the sideboard that I now had a slick new hairstyle with subtle highlights and was dressed head to toe in designer threads.  A quick look in the expensive leather wallet that’d replaced the ratty canvas one in my back pocket revealed it was a stuffed with cash and platinum credit cards but strangely, it all felt kind of natural as if things had always been that way.

I didn’t waste any time in asking Akbar for my second wish: to be the most popular guy on campus.  As soon as I said the words, he smiled, winked and with a blinding flash, I found myself changed yet again.

This time, something felt a bit off though. My thoughts felt sluggish and for a moment, I found myself checking out Akbar like he was a chick or something.  I mean, he had awesome muscles and it looked like he was packing a big schlong too but I’d never had thoughts like that about a bro before.  As I tried to clear my head, I realised that, my clothes had changed again and I wasn’t dressed in my usual preppy polo and chinos anymore.  Instead, I was wearing a black stringer tank and ball shorts which I guess kind of made sense as I was totally stacked with muscle just like the dudes at the gym who do nothing all day but lift, down protein shakes and juice themselves with roids.

Adjusting my cap in the mirror so the bill pointed back like I usually wore it, I couldn’t help checking out my thick, heavy guns and swole forearms as the muscles flexed under my tight skin.  I began to throw a boner in my ball shorts as I checked myself out and even though Akbar was still hovering there, I was thinking about stroking one out to my reflection when dad suddenly walked in on us.

Weirdly, he didn’t pay any attention to Akbar as he continued with his usual bitching about how I was a slacker and wouldn’t ever be smart enough to join his law firm when I left college.  I never got what made him think I’d be interested in working with those stiffs, after all, it wasn’t like I needed the money and the guys who worked there were a bunch of uptight losers.

As dad carried on yammering about cutting out the all night keggers and studying harder, I finally flipped and without really thinking it through, wished that he’d quit bitching and accept me and my lifestyle.  As soon as I finished speaking, Akbar clapped his hands,  laughing out loud as another flash of light filled the room but this time, when the flash faded, Akbar and the lamp had disappeared and it was just me and pops in the room.  Well, someone who looked kinda like pops...

Instead of the stuffy, overbearing lawyer who’d even wear a dress shirt and slacks at the weekend, pops had turned into a swole as fuck bodybuilder, dressed up like a total muscle-bro in ball shorts and a Miami heat jersey.  He even had a ball cap on backwards just like I like to wear mine.

He didn’t seem to notice anything was different, but when he started talking excitedly about finishing up and heading to the gym for leg day, I realised it was more than just his appearance that’d changed.  He sounded like a total bro, all cocky and overconfident – more like one of my buds from the frat than a fifty year old lawyer.

As we finished packing, it was kinda weird to see pops acting like one of the bros but once we got to talking about lifting and his next competition, it was easy conversation like I have with the guys back the frat.  After a few minutes shooting the breeze, I couldn’t remember why I’d ever thought pops and me didn’t get on, especially when it was him that got me into lifting.

As we took a breather before locking up, I caught myself checking pops out, especially the bulge of his massive baby maker outlined in his shorts.  He must have noticed because he grinned, dropped the shorts, pulled his dong out from the sweaty jock he was wearing and waved it at me with a wink.  For a second, something seemed weird about him showing me his junk but then I remembered how bros help bros out and before I knew it, I was on my knees taking the full length of his pole down my throat as he face fucked me and told me how proud he was.

When he finally busted his nut over my face, I eagerly licked the cum from my lips and reminded myself again how lucky I was to have a loaded, successful bodybuilder for a dad.

Even if it was possible, I couldn’t have wished for a better life!

[espiepuffs]

Can you pls do an ortega x reader who’s known to be a “Good girl” with good marks and a strict moral code/compass? I can’t find any ortega x readers anywhere, it’s like every other character in Pokémon has some except for him T~T

Model Student!

Characters: Drayton x reader, Ortega x reader!

Notes: Hello anon! Tysm for the request! I am so so so sorry it took me this long to get this out! I’ve been quite busy with a lot of other things so I didn’t have time to write, but I’m back now and I’m happy to be writing again! Also, to anybody else who requested, please don’t worry, I’ve seen your requests and I’m working on them 🩷 I’ll also be writing for the BB e4 now!! I hope you enjoy reading <33

Drayton

You and Drayton are an incredibly odd pair.

He’s the biggest slacker in the BB Academy. That’s something you can be sure of, he’s been held back thrice 😭

And then there’s you, top of the class, and super strict in the methods that you get stuff done, how it’s done, and being an incredible model student over all!

Even if Drayton is your boyfriend you’re going to have to do everything to get this dude to work on anything.

A lot of the dates you two have are study dates, because someone is behind on their work!!!

If you want to keep your notes prim and proper please please please keep an eye on Drayton.

He’s going to doodle everywhere he can without drawing your attention, it’s like a game made to annoy you.

He’s like a dog on a leash, and you’re going to object pretty much all the things this guy wants to do if you want to keep your sanity intact.

“Babe can we please just take a break and cuddle? I wanna stop working for a second.”

“Drayton no, this assignment was due a week ago. Come on, write a bit more please!”

You two cuddle anyways. It was bound to happen.

This guy can’t get away with anything on your radar. He can’t even ask you to join him on his pranks, you’re like Lacey 2.0 with how strict you are with him :((

All he wants to do is just chill with you 24/7, can’t a guy just do that??

If you let your guard down just a little bit, you’ll find your notes from battle studies discarded to the side, and Drayton’s arms wrapped firmly around you.

You might as well leave his work alone, since that’s not getting done anytime soon. Let him feed you a fresh box of pocky while you focus on your notes.

When Lacey comes in the clubroom, let her know that you tried…

He’s absolutely chill with pda, he doesn’t care. You on the other hand prefer not to engage in it around school because it’s not the time or the place, and it’s unprofessional.

Drayton is a little shit though and will talk your ears off until you let him link pinkies with you. He respects your boundaries, so he won’t do anything that you don’t want to do on school grounds, but let him link pinkies with you pretty pls

Your conversations are either normal chitchat, or surprisingly deep.

The two of you talk about what you want to do in life quite a bit, though with Drayton, he talks about living in the moment more and having fun with what you have now.

He’s actually quite a good listener, he’ll listen to you while you talk about your plans, since you’re quite straightforward and set about what you want to do.

And Drayton really likes that in you. He adores the fact that you know what you wanna do when you’re out of BB Academy.

I think that in a way, you’re his motivation. He gets a little more work done than usual, he wants to leave the school by your side.

You also can’t help but bend your rules for him, despite how firm you are with them normally.

…just a little more work.

Ortega

Ortega gives you a headache. You love the guy to death, but he gives you a massive headache a lot of the time.

Why? He’s never at school. Ever. Hasn’t been for a year, but you still don’t give up, asking him to attend regularly.

You do know he’s safe, but you find it sorta lonely during school hours, although you do have other friends you miss your sassy little boyfriend :,(

You do meet up a lot after school though. When he’s not hanging out with team star, over his base or attending his piano lessons, he spends time with you.

And I think being a model student would mean that you’d do a lot of extracurricular activities, and one of them would be piano!

Ortega would enjoy practicing piano with you in his free time. It’s one of his favourite things to do with you!

You’re able to keep up with him and not trip up with mistakes, which he’s impressed at. How are you so effortlessly good with it?

Ortega teases you about how much of a ‘good student’ you are, and asks you to skip with him!

(He knows the answer is no.)

Despite the teasing though, the moment he comes back to school he’s with you much more often.

He finds school easier to attend because he’s able to feel more settled in quickly (although the teachers themselves do a really good job at that!) and well… it’s you!

Because he’s skipped out on school so much, he’s got to catch up so he isn’t behind. Who’s his #1 tutor? You!

Although he does study sessions with team star quite a lot, you’re his first option. He wants to use it to make up for the time lost from him not being at school with you

You’re so well-versed in the topics you revise with him that he finds it easy, to his surprise! He likes sitting in your room too, and finds it relaxing.

(Your voice soothes him too, just don’t let him doze off while it happens! He looks adorable though, do you really want to wake him up from a nap?)

Study dates become a frequent as you help him not get held back a year😋😋

He can just show up at your room whenever and you’ll let him in, it’s always better

“…so, battle studies next! What type has the most resistances?”

“Steel, obviously.”

It pays off, because when he comes back with his test results, he scores pretty high!

He’s so delighted by it, he’s very thankful and smiley for the rest of the week! He’s literally that one flowery animal crossing emote, you can feel the happiness radiating off of him.

He’s so glad you’re so supportive of him, it just makes him more confident that he can pass every test with flying colours when you’re by his side >o<

[tohisprettyc00l]

Escapism Hunter x reader

A/n: yet another reader who used to be in the emperor's coven, I don't know why I like this idea so much.

It was nice to finally relax, despite the circumstances. It wasn't great to be trapped in the human realm. But Belos wasn't there to torment you and Hunter. Which felt like enough. You could just be yourself, with no fear of punishment for messing up. 

You had recently gotten into a new book series. Anytime you could read it, you did. And recently you had finished it. The book had a super satisfying ending. So of course you had to share it with Hunter. You skipped down the stairs. "Hey, Hunter I have a book for you to read!" You said happily. Hunter smiled, "I do too!" He held up a book in his hands, "it's called cosmic frontier!" "Oh do tell!" You sat beside him.

"Okay, so it's set in space! There's Captain Avery, Security Officer Quando," A smile spread across his face, "and my personal favorite Chief Engineer O'Bailey!" You listened closely to everything he said. While you didn't understand half of it, it was clear he was happy. And you could get the gist of things you didn't understand via context clues.

"I'm going to stop before I explain the whole story. So what was your story about?" You inhaled slightly, "Okay the book is about two twins. One's a slacker the other one is super smart. They get sucked into a book." You explained, "They meet a frog dude. In order to get back home they need ingredients... Like a fairy tear. Kind of like us huh." There was a pause between both of you. Hunter spoke up, "How weird is it that we both found a book that relates to going back home?" You chuckled, "Yeah. But I find it weirder that it was the two people who are the least enthusiastic to get back." 

Hunter seemed to get weirdly nervous. "What do you mean? I want to get back as soon as possible!" You leaned into him, "You can't lie to me, neither of us were that happy while we were in the Demon Realm. By the time we got out of the coven the Day of Unity was in like a week." Hunter looked down, "But I feel like I should feel bad. Everyone else lost their home." "Is it really such a bad thing that we're happier? We could feel bad for them but happy for ourselves." Hunter gave a slight smile. "Yeah... Yeah! We don't need to feel sad. It's good to finally be happy."

A/n: If you know what book I was referring to I love you.