#when i tell you i lost it during ever single second of this episode—

[webslinger-holland]

Forgiveness | Crosshair from The Bad Batch

Summary: When Crosshair reunites with his old squad, there are some unresolved tension between you.

Warning: spoilers from episode four, slightly jealous Hunter, recalling imprisonment with the empire, some angsty feelings

Pairing: Crosshair x Fem!Reader

Type: Oneshot

Word Count: 2.1k words

Note: Just had this one shot on my mind for a while and wanted to get it fully written. Let me know your thoughts down below!

The past several months had been incredibly difficult for the team. Having just lost Tech and Omega, they didn't quite know what to do or where to go from there. They spent months chasing down leads, desperately searching for any sign that would tell them where the Empire was keeping Omega. But every mission only resulted in another dead end with no usable intel.

It felt like they'd fallen into the same repeating cycle. They'd hear a whisper of something, follow that whisper, and find nothing that could aid them in their search. They refused to give up, especially their leader who was more determined than ever to bring her back home.

After many long tiresome months, their search was finally over. In the end, Omega was the one who had managed to escape from confinement and send a coded message to rendezvous somewhere safe. Now, Omega stood directly in front of them with big tears in her eyes. They'd never felt a stronger sense of relief than having her back safe and sound.

"I had help," Omega told them.

Turning around to face the ship that she'd arrived in, their eyes seemed to follow her line of sight. A figure emerged from the ship's gangplank, descending the ramp slowly. When the infamous sniper came into view, Hunter and Wrecker felt slightly unnerved. They still didn't trust him, watching his movements with extreme caution.

However, as soon as you'd seen him, it almost felt like your heart had dropped to the lowest point in your stomach. Your breath hitched in the back of your throat and you fought the tears that threatened to release. You couldn't believe your eyes.

Sensing your sudden swelling of emotions, Hunter spun around on the heels of his feet to face you. He took a single step forward and reached out to you as if to comfort you, calling your name very so gently.

But you just couldn't look away from Crosshair. Your Crosshair.

The one who had betrayed his family to join the Empire's forces. The one whose chip had activated during the order and changed who he was as a person. The one who hunted you. The one who was finally offered the second chance he wanted so badly by his squad, but refused them in the end. The one who left you and vowed he didn't love you as you had loved him. That Crosshair.

After the Fall of Kamino, Hunter was left to comfort you during one of your lowest times having since been rejected from his younger brother on that platform. He lost count of how many nights you cried yourself to sleep in his arms. You never talked about it, but he knew somehow. That maybe there was still apart of you that cared deeply for him, which was why it hurt all the more.

Now, coming back to your reality, you truly didn't know how to feel. You never thought you'd see him again or if you had expected to see him again, it wouldn't have been in this current situation. He just stood there looking directly at you.

His face was blank. He showed no emotion whatsoever.

Finally, having gathered your courage, you started walking towards him without taking your eyes off him. Hunter had tried to stop you once again, roughly grabbing your forearm to halt your movements.

"Y/n. Wait," Hunter's voice came out rather gruff and harsh.

He was warning you. He didn't know what else to say, but it didn't matter because you quickly tore your hand out of his grasp. And you continued your approach across the space between.

Finally, you came to a halt in front of him. His eyes never looked away from yours and he continued to remain unreadable with his emotions. He waited expectantly.

He didn't know how you'd respond to seeing him again because the last time he had seen you, you confessed your true feelings for him and he chose the empire over you. He'd seen the hurt flash in your eyes when he said he didn't love you, how you fought the tears from falling at his words.

Months later, you were standing in front of him once again. He half-expected you to lash out in anger at him. He wondered what you'd say to him, thinking of how your voice would sound when you tell him: "How dare you show your face again?" He'd even take a couple hits from you if you were angry enough. He wouldn't care, because he deserved all the hate you had for him.

The very last thing that Crosshair expected was to hear a choked sob escape past your lips as your walls came crashing down around you. You closed the distance between the two of you, wrapping your arms tightly around his torso and burrowing your head into his chest. You clung to him so desperately as if you were afraid he'd slip through your fingers again. The tears began to fall down your cheeks as you held him close.

At first, Crosshair didn't know what to do with himself. He stood in your arms stiffly and awkwardly. It took a while before his shoulders finally eased up and he shakily raised his arms to wrap around you. He propped his chin onto the top of your head, relishing in the sweet feeling of your embrace. He closed his eyes slowly.

In the distance, Hunter's gaze hardened. He felt his fists clench at his sides instinctively. A newfound sense of anger began to arise in the pit of his stomach.

"I don't care about the things you've said or the things you've done," you spoke softly. This confession confused him even further. "What matters to me is that you're back."

After another moment, you reluctantly pulled yourself out of his grasp. You flashed him a brief smile, quickly wiping away the tears that stained your cheeks. You created a little distance by taking a step back, wanting to respect his boundaries. He watched you silently because he was honestly too shocked to say anything.

Leaving the rendezvous point in the Marauder, the now reunited members set a course to return to the safe haven planet known as Pabu. The Marauder was traveling through hyperspace, enveloping the entire ship in a tunnel of blue and white flashing stars. The little gonk droid waddled into the cockpit happily.

In the sleeping quarters, Wrecker and Omega had long since fallen asleep in each other's arms. They held Lula between the two of them. If you looked closely, you'd be able to see the faint smiles on their faces while they slept, knowing that they were both so happy to be reunited with one another.

Meanwhile, Hunter tried to busy himself at the control center. He typed on his brother's old data pad, figuring out what their next steps were going to be. If he was being honest with himself, his mind wasn't entirely focused on the task at hand. He often found himself glancing towards the cockpit upon knowing that was were his brother currently resided.

Brushing right past him, you walked directly into the entrance of the cockpit. He watched your retreating figure, which went unnoticed by you. An overwhelming sense of sadness filling his senses as he remembered the longing feeling you felt towards his brother and not him.

When you came into the cockpit, Crosshair was sitting in the copilots chair with his back turned to you. He was chewing on a toothpick, mulling his thoughts over. You were slow to make your presence known to him, gingerly stepping forward in your place.

"I made up your old cot for you," you told him with a hint of hope in your voice. "Thought it would be a good idea for you to get some rest."

He hummed. "And where will you sleep?"

"I--I don't know what you mean," you stumbled over your words, laughing awkwardly to cover it up.

"You used to sleep in my cot during my leave of absence," Crosshair recalled this piece of information because Omega had once told him about it during their time of confinement. "So where will you sleep?" Crosshair repeated himself.

"There's always that extra cot," you said rather sorrowfully. Your gaze fell to the floor when you remembered the notable absence of your squad member.

Hearing your response only made Crosshair close his eyes. It was all still new to him: the fact that he lost one of his brothers. He wasn't used to the feeling of him not being there because he'd always been there. He never imagined what life without Tech would look like. And now, he had to live that reality.

Since Tech died, you hadn't been able to bring yourself to cleaning up his personal space. His old workbench was left exactly how he'd left it with tools and gadgets scattered randomly. His cot was a whole other ordeal. There were wires coming out of places there shouldn't be wires and greasy parts had stained the sheets. Every time you looked at it, it was almost like he was still there living among you. So you never touched it.

That was until now when the need for another sleeping place arose.

"He's been watching you like a hawk," Crosshair's voice was quick to pull you away from your thoughts as he quickly changed the subject. You furrowed your eyebrows in slight confusion.

"Who?" You asked.

"Hunter," Crosshair rolled his eyes. His tone almost hinted: who else would it be?

"Oh," you replied softly, not really knowing how to respond to that.

"He worries about you, you know that right?" Crosshair added. He kept his back to you.

"Well, I--I never..." you threw a brief glance over your shoulder, but you were still at a loss for words.

"He'd be better for you," Crosshair confessed. He dropped his gaze down to his hands which shook ever so slightly in his lap. He clasped them together to stop the shaking. "He's cared about you for a long time and he's been able to take care of you. That's more than I can say."

"Crosshair," you breathed steadily. You called out for him and tried to peer around the chair. "What's this all about?"

Contemplating his next words carefully, Crosshair remained silent for a moment. He closed his eyes and turned his head away as if he wanted to run away from all of his thoughts and feelings. But he knew he couldn't do that.

"I---I care about you," Crosshair confessed, but he still refused to look you in the eyes.

Shoulders depleting at his confession, you felt your own breath escape your throat and your heart clenched tightly in your chest. You struggled to find the words to respond, opening and closing your mouth like a fish out of water.

"B-But I thought..." your voice trailed off as you took a single step forward. You recalled the conversation on Kamino.

"I know what I said!" Crosshair yelled back a little louder than he expected initially. You weakly took a step backwards in retreat, feeling him pushing you away again.

"What changed?" You inquired curiously.

"When I was...in confinement...I had a hard time sleeping," Crosshair began to explain. He kept his gaze locked on his hands as he relived the painful memories. "Every time I managed to fall asleep, I'd think of you. And it made me realize how much I missed you."

There was only silence that followed.

"I've made mistakes; done things that I'm not proud of. But one of my biggest regrets was pushing you away," Crosshair was speaking from the heart.

Before Crosshair knew what was happening, he felt a warm hand come in contact with his cheek. The hand urged him to turn his head and look up directly into your soft and kind eyes. You observed him silently, gazing deeply into the depths of his eyes to look for any deceit or falseness.

But all you could find was a truly broken soul. He had never looked at you like that before with such a tone of pain and hurt behind those eyes. He raised his shaky and unstable hand to grasp your wrist and hold your hand against his cheek. He seemed to lean into your touch, relishing the feeling of your skin against his own.

His hand tremors didn't go unnoticed by you. It was something he carried with him now. And he'd have to find a way to work through that struggle.

There was a part of him that wondered if this was all just another one of his dreams of you. That he'd only imagined escaping prison with Omega, fighting for his life, reuniting with his brothers, and finally confessing his feelings towards you. He closed his eyes and expected to wake up from this horrible dream at any moment. But instead: Crosshair only heard you say.

"I forgive you."

[amaranthhiding]

Samwena in 13x19 Funeralia

Excuse me while I fall into another obsessive Funeralia spiral. (I swear, every single time I rewatch any scenes, this episode gets me!) Or even better yet, join me on my descent!

When Dean tells Rowena that Sam is the one who's going to kill her in every single one of her books, she is hurt. Ruth's acting is absolutely phenomenal, you can see the hurt in every little change on Rowena's face. It even goes far enough for her to have that little lip and chin tremble.

Jared's acting is just as stellar because Sam's guilt over the whole thing is tangible in the air between them. He is so torn by guilt, he can barely look at her reaction for two seconds before he has to swallow and avert his gaze.

Then Sam tries to handcuff her, and she falls back into her pattern of trying to mask her hurt with humor. She thinks she managed it by proving her superiority with that astral projection stunt. She's fleeing in a wild run because of course she wants to avoid getting captured. But I think she's partly also trying to run away from this hurt by physically distancing herself from the place it happened, and especially from the person who caused it.

Note how at this point it doesn't seem to be her plan at all to abduct Sam in any way. She's just trying to run.

Then Sam catches up to her, and she doesn’t even try to flee or fight or use magic. She’s just standing there, frozen on the spot, like she has to know the truth. She has to know if he’d actually do it, but she can’t even face him while he makes his decision.

Sam struggles, he does. There are actual tears in his eyes.

And he realizes he can’t do it. Everything inside himself screams at him not to. He lets the weapon sink.

Thinking Sam has made up his mind, Rowena finally dares to turn around to look at him in a moment of connection because she thinks it’s safe.

That’s when the promise Sam has given Dean takes over that he’d put a bullet in Rowena if she breaks bad.

After the car talk with Rowena in 13x12, Sam finally admitted how helpless he’s feeling to Dean. Sam has failed over and over again this season, and nothing would work out the way he’d intended. He got knocked out like 6 times during the last few weeks and Dean had to come save him multiple times. Sam thinks he’s the one who got Kaia killed, and that he’s the one to blame for Jack being stuck in Apocalypse World. And just one episode ago, he let Gabriel go after using the archangel’s grace to heal him. When Dean found out, he reacted with an extremely volatile outburst of frustration targeted at Sam specifically, for giving away their last hope of saving their mom and Jack. That outburst was loud enough to actually make Sam wince. All of Sam’s choices this season leading up to this point have turned out so terribly wrong that it cost people’s lives.

So Sam allows Dean’s choice to overrule his own because he has lost every shred of trust in himself and his own decisions. Sam can’t let Dean down again, he can’t.

He raises the weapon back up and pulls the trigger.

Sam can’t believe what he just did. He doesn’t want to see Rowena’s corpse slump to the ground. But the outcome he was dreading did, in fact, not happen because she stopped that bullet. Sam can’t bear to see the expression on her face and hear the slight tremble in her voice.

For Rowena, the hurt cuts even deeper than before, burning more fiercely than anything she has experienced in a long time.

Nobody was supposed to be able to hurt her like this ever again. She thought she had fortified herself against it ever since that trauma all the way back with Crowley's father who broke her heart by leaving her. She'd had no idea that Sam possessed the ability to hurt her like this, that they'd somehow grown close enough for this to be possible at all. And now the hurt just won't stop, so she short-circuits and tries to make it stop in the way her old self has done over all these centuries... by lashing out at whoever is hurting her, and making sure they can never do it again.

Naturally, the way she chooses to do this is by... putting him to sleep and transporting him into her room (How even? Levitation?) where she busies herself with lighting all the candles until Sam comes back to his senses. Then she cuts into her own palm, tears his shirt open, and presses her blood onto Sam's bare chest right over his heart. You know, as you do. Completely normal way of attacking someone. Absolutely nothing to see here.

(Also note that while the whole thing did seem to hurt Sam because he groaned in pain, no mark whatsoever is left on his skin. Not a burn. Not a scratch. She made herself bleed, but not him.) Death appears, and while Rowena is claiming that what she's doing here is killing Sam Winchester, her body language is telling the exact opposite. Throughout the entire exchange, she's threatening Billie, not Sam, with the knife. The whole thing hilariously looks like she's defending Sam against Billie! Her body is in a very clear defensive pose and she's positioned exactly in front of Sam.

Even when she finally turns her attention from Billie to Sam, supposedly to make true on her threat to kill him, it's only her head that moves to look back over her shoulder, but her arm with the knife stays aimed at Billie.

That damn knife never even gets anywhere near Sam. Then it's entirely gone in the next shot, so she must have dropped it as soon as she realized there was no way in hell she would cut into Sam's skin with it.

She’s talking softly with Sam about Crowley, but she is so confused. At this point, her emotions are boiling so high she can't handle them at all any longer, so they burst out into the open in exactly the same way they did earlier when she targeted Sam's heart, but this far more violent outburst is aimed at the target that won’t take any harm.

She doesn't understand what's happening, why she can't kill Sam to make sure she's the one in control, why she can't make the hurt stop in the way she has always done in self-preservation over all these long centuries.

Billie is the one who has to put into words what has been so glaringly obvious through the whole scene to anyone other than Rowena herself. "You were never going to kill him. There was a time you would've, but not now."

That's when Rowena caves and finally admits to everyone including herself that she has no idea what to do with all these feelings, because the only way she knows how to handle them is no longer working. She doesn't even get back to her feet to defend herself when Dean bursts into the room, instead just cowering there with quiet sobs.

Sam is the one who stops Dean with a panicked-sounding warning call. Dean was in no danger whatsoever, not from Rowena and not from Billie who clearly just stated that the Winchesters were needed. So the only possible meaning I can read into Sam's call is that he's begging Dean not to shoot Rowena.

After a scene cut, Rowena is still sitting on the floor in a position very similar to the one she's been in ever since her breakdown, with Sam and Dean sitting opposite her. She has something to drink in front of her now, though. And hilariously, we see Sam reach into the fridge like he lives there to take a bottle for himself and Dean each, so I assume he's the one who handed out the drink to Rowena as well, trying to make everyone feel better.

He goes even further than that, asking both Dean and Rowena how they are feeling and getting them to talk openly. In addition to genuinely wanting to know how these people he cares about are feeling, I think what he's doing here is ensuring the waves are smoothed over enough that this will not be a repeat of the Amy Pond situation where Dean went back to kill the "monster".

Rowena asks, "Sam, what've I done?", sounding stifled and horrified like she thinks she has ruined their relationship forever, and she still hasn’t even fully stopped crying.

This is her way of both saying sorry and carefully testing out the waters of where they're standing after all of this. He gives her a look that I can seriously only describe as soft, telling her "You had a chance to kill me and you didn't. I'd call that progress."

The wording makes even more sense considering that Dean is sitting right next to them, so Sam is making a point of putting emphasis on the fact that she isn't a lost cause, that she isn’t something they have to hunt.

Then Sam goes so far as to tell her that it wasn't her fault what happened with Crowley, even though he must realize that's blatantly false and that her way of (not) parenting clearly had a strong influence on Crowley's fate. The way Sam says it with that frowny headshake and soft voice almost gives me the impression they're talking in code, and this is his veiled "I forgive you" in reply to her veiled apology from before.

This whole exchange is insanely gentle given the fact that they both just tried to kill each other. Yes, clearly neither of them wanted to kill the other, what with those tormented expressions on their faces when it happened and Sam firing only a single bullet (which was probably his loophole way of justifying to himself that he kept his word to Dean without actually getting Rowena killed.) But still, it's remarkable how soft this conversation is after the insanity of this episode.

When Dean begins one of his motivational speeches for Rowena, Sam listens quietly, knowing he has won. He has accomplished his goal of making sure Rowena is no longer on Dean's kill list. And only after that, Sam proceeds to say the most outrageous thing possible in this situation, complimenting Rowena on her deadliness and luring the first real smile out of her still tear-streaked face. And with that one seemingly crazy comment, he cements towards her that things between them are fine and that he accepts her despite her past.

(I'm in awe of Sam's emotional intelligence.)

When Rowena asks if they think she can still be redeemed, Sam waits and lets Dean go first, even though one can basically see Sam itch to get his own reassurance out. His mouth even opens! But he has to know for sure first that Dean really has no ill will towards Rowena any longer.

And because he actually trusts her and wants to show both her and Dean that he does, he nips a potential future conflict in the bud by openly telling her the truth that Lucifer is back instead of somehow hiding that fact from her. Dean comments in a way that shows clearly he thought she was going to freak out at this piece of information, but Sam just sits there with a calm face because he trusted that she would not.

Even with everything that's at stake for Sam (they need Rowena to find Gabriel to save Mary and Jack), even after the way Gabriel let him down just one episode prior and Sam's willingness to trust in the good in people has buried them in a whole pile of problems, Sam still wants the relationship between Rowena and him to be based on open trust from here on out. So he gives her the truth about Lucifer, knowing fully well how traumatic it is for both of them.

And Rowena in turn takes that offered trust and returns it to Sam in the most outrageous way possible, finding solace in the fact that he, not Lucifer, is the one prophesied to kill her. Because Rowena is the living proof that his blind faith in the good in people was never wrong, Sam is suddenly shown to have hope and self-esteem again “You changed other people’s fates, maybe we can change yours,” after he had all but abandoned any kind of it following his interactions with Gabriel and Dean in the episode before this one. (He couldn’t even get out anything but stutters when they called Rowena at the beginning of this episode and Dean had to steal the call from him, that’s how low Sam was!)

And Rowena is so touched by still being trusted and accepted despite everything that of course she agrees to help them save their family, when at the start of the episode she had still refused because she was busy trying to save hers.

I... am not okay? Help?

[yes-but-theyre-my-dorks]

Buzzfeed Unsolved x MCU: The Battle of New York

summary: Shane and Ryan do a Supernatural Unsolved episode on the Battle of New York

rating: PG-13 for language

warnings: none really? language

word count: ~1.6k

a/n: I wrote a fic like this years ago, but unfortunately I deleted that tumblr account back in 2019 and I literally cannot find any record of my post anymore. I couldn’t even find the original copy anywhere on my computer. hope y’all enjoy it! extra info found on the MCU fandom wiki.

Ryan: This week on Buzzfeed Unsolved, we’re covering the Battle of New York, an event that destroyed half of Manhattan in a single afternoon and opened the world’s eyes to the existence of extraterrestrial life. Bet you feel pretty fuckin’ stupid now, huh Shane?

Shane: Now, look here, I am pretty fuckin’ stupid, but I have never said that I don’t believe in aliens.

Ryan: You say it literally every time we do an episode on aliens.

Shane: No, I’ve said that I don’t believe aliens have ever interacted with humans before.

Ryan: All I’m hearing are excuses.

Shane: Who’s pretty fuckin’ stupid now?

Ryan: Still you.

Shane: Damn, when you’re right you’re right.

Ryan: Can I get into the case now?

Shane: Go ahead, open your file with a single piece of paper in it and tell us all about it.

Ryan: Let’s get into it.

On May 1st, 2012, in a secret, underground facility in the middle of the Mojave, experiments were being performed on an object called “the Tesseract.” The scientists performing the experiment were employed by the Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division, otherwise known as “S.H.I.E.L.D.”

Shane: Wait a second, say that name again?

Ryan: S.H.I.E.L.D.?

Shane: No no no, the acronym.

Ryan: Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division.

Shane: (wheeze) That’s the stupidest name I’ve ever heard.

Ryan: Yeah, it does seem like they’re trying too hard.

Shane: Someone really wanted their organization to spell out “SHIELD.” What a bunch of nerds.

Ryan: The Tesseract had been used during World War II by Nazi scientists Johann Schmidt and Arnim Zola to create energy weapons that were capable of completely pulverizing its targets. It was briefly lost when Captain Steve Rogers, also known as Captain America, hijacked a German bomber called the Valkyrie that was on course to destroy multiple major cities across the United States. He was unable to change course, so instead he attempted to fly the Valkyrie into the ocean and ended up landing in an ice field in Greenland. The Tesseract was found by Howard Stark not long after, although Captain Rogers and the Valkyrie were not found until about 70 years later.

The Tesseract changed owners several times, but by 2012 it was in S.H.I.E.L.D.’s possession during Project P.E.G.A.S.U.S., which was an acronym for “Potential Energy Group - Alternate Sources - United States.”

Shane: Oh you’ve got to be kidding me.

Ryan: (wheeze)

Shane: Fuckin’ tryhards. 

Ryan: On May 1, 2012, there was an incident involving the Tesseract. The facility was breached by Loki Laufeyson, an alien born on Uranus and raised on Saturn. Thanks to Natasha Romanoff leaking all of S.H.I.E.L.D.’s data in 2014, all security footage from that night is available to the public. While they were experimenting on the Tesseract, it opened a portal through which Loki was able to come to Earth. He attacked and killed several agents using a staff that looked to be powered by something similar to the Tesseract. He used the same staff to subdue several agents and scientists through mind control. He even used it on Clint Barton, also known as Hawkeye: an actual Avenger!

Shane: Now hold up, mind control? On an Avenger? No way.

Ryan: I’m just telling you the facts.

Shane: There is no way an Avenger just let him waltz up and take control of his mind!

Ryan: Well actually, Loki is so powerful that he shows up in Norse mythology as a god, so really an Avenger got mind controlled by a god.

Shane: But we know he’s not a god now, he’s just an alien.

Ryan: The footage doesn’t lie!

Shane: This is bullshit.

Ryan: One of the side effects of this kind of mind control is that it turns the victim’s eyes bright blue, and according to footage we have from this event and images of Loki later on, his eyes are significantly bluer during the battle and the events leading up to it, so-

Shane: Ohhhhh, so he could have been mind-controlled, too!

Ryan: Yeah, exactly.

Shane: That tickles me very much!

Ryan: Ew, I… I didn’t like that.

Shane: That is very tickling indeed!

Ryan: This is a weird turn of phrase, even for you.

Shane: I will say, it makes the whole “mind controlling an Avenger” thing way more believable.

Ryan: Loki successfully stole the Tesseract, and the entire facility collapsed on itself, apparently due to the sheer power of the portal they had opened. Footage shows Loki using his staff to shoot oncoming S.H.I.E.L.D. agents and completely pulverizing them. He even shot down a helicopter!

S.H.I.E.L.D. used this as an opportunity to reactivate the Avengers Initiative, a project focused on bringing together people of special abilities to protect the Earth. The Avengers at the time were made up of Tony Stark, also known as Iron Man, Captain America, Bruce Banner, also known as the Hulk, Thor, another alien from Saturn who is seen in Norse mythology as the “god of thunder,” Agent Natasha Romanoff, also known as the Black Widow, and Hawkeye.

Shane: I thought Hawkeye got mind controlled?

Ryan: Well they got him back before the battle.

Shane: Do we know how?

Ryan: According to Agent Romanoff, she hit him really hard in the head and he was fine.

Shane: (wheeze) Is that really what she said?

Ryan: Yeah, they were fighting on one of S.H.I.E.L.D.’s helicarriers and she slammed his head against a railing and then knocked him out for good measure.

Shane: What a badass!

Ryan: Oh yeah, the Black Widow is definitely one of the most underrated heroes in history.

Loki spent a brief time in captivity on S.H.I.E.L.D.’s helicarrier, but was rescued by some of his mind-controlled goons who launched a fairly severe attack on the aircraft. Thor and the Hulk fell off the carrier, and several S.H.I.E.L.D. agents were killed, including a high-ranking agent named Phil Coulson.

On May 4th, famous astrophysicist Erik Selvig (who was also under mind control) was caught building a portal using the Tesseract on top of Stark Tower in downtown Manhattan. After some failed negotiation between Tony Stark and Loki inside the tower, the portal was opened and an alien army known as the Chitauri was released on New York. The Chitauri are a sentient species of cybernetically enhanced beings that operate under a hive mind intelligence. They use another species called Leviathans for troop transport and combat, which are extremely augmented using armor, anti-gravity devices, and even laser cannons. 

The battle itself lasted two to three hours. Most of Manhattan was destroyed, and the World Security Council actually authorized the release of a nuclear missile to try and end the battle. As the missile headed for New York, Tony Stark intercepted it and redirected it into the portal. The missile hit the Chitauri Command Center, destroying the hive mind and deactivating every single soldier left fighting. Stark’s suit lost power as he let the nuke go, and he fell back to Earth through the portal just as Agent Romanoff closed the portal using Loki’s staff. As he was falling, reports say that he was caught in mid-air by the Hulk and brought safely back to ground level.

Shane: How the hell is New York still standing after that?

Ryan: Well, S.H.I.E.L.D. had a subsidiary team called “Damage Control,” and after the battle it was transferred to the federal government and is now the U.S. Department of Damage Control.

Shane: What, they couldn’t come up with a fun acronym for that?

Ryan: I guess not, whoever was coming up with cool names was off that day.

Shane: Damn, right when they needed him the most.

Ryan: Honestly, that’s the real tragedy of this whole story.

Shane: So is that the whole case?

Ryan: That’s pretty much it.

Shane: I remember where I was when I saw this on TV, actually.

Ryan: Oh yeah?

Shane: Yeah, I was watching TV at home and flippin’ through the channels and when I flipped on the news I thought I was watching a shitty alien movie.

Ryan: (wheeze) You didn’t realize this was a real thing that happened?

Shane: No, not until I saw it on Twitter like an hour after it happened.

Ryan: Oh my God, dude! You really are fuckin’ stupid.

Shane: I never said I wasn’t.

Ryan: Even though we now know the facts of the Battle of New York, a lot of questions remain unanswered. If Loki was being controlled, who was controlling him?  Where are he and Thor now? Does this open the door for future alien attacks, or alien alliances? What else is out there? As of this episode being filmed in April of 2015, we’re still waiting to see what the Avengers do next, but until then, all of these questions remain… UNSOLVED.

So who’s your favorite Avenger, Shane?

Shane: Hmm, that’s a toughie.

Ryan: Mine is Captain America, no contest.

Shane: Oh yeah?

Ryan: Hell yeah, dude. Killing Nazis and fighting aliens and surviving 70 years in ice? That’s badass.

Shane: So… no cap?

Ryan: *disappointed silence*

Shane: Get it, because- 

Ryan: No I got the joke.

Shane: Well, you’re not laughing, so I thought-

Ryan: Well it wasn’t funny.

Shane: Goodness, Ryan, you don’t have to hurt my feelings like that.

Ryan: I love hurting your feelings, actually.

Shane: Hm. This is awkward, then.

-----

please lmk if I should write more of these, I had a lot of fun with this one and I haven’t written stuff like this in like 5 years so I feel a little rusty lol. hope you enjoyed and if anyone wants to give me suggestions on more stuff to write please do!

[the-bloody-sadist]

Hi, Sadist, I love your artworks and stories so much, as an aspiring writer. I was wondering what you thought of Fyodor's death during the last season 5 episode of bsd, because I felt that all this time he was shown to be sooo intelligent, and then he got fooled way too easily by skk's fake vamp trick (i'm dying), the plot of bsd is confusing me :') AM I alone here??

First of all, you've come to the right place. If you didn't see my other most recent ask, I'm a BSD s4-5 hater, and an Asagiri hater as a whole, really, after seeing the kind of shit he's pulled.

Second of all, let's get something straight here: FYODOR IS NOT DEAD. You can't EVER tell me that 1) a BSD character of importance has actually died for real and 2) his dead body was not even shown on screen and Dazai said "HE'S DEFINITELY DEAD" HAHAHAHA. LAUGHABLE. ATROCIOUS. He's obviously gonna come back minus one arm. Asagiri doesn't care about logic or good storytelling, anymore. It won't matter that a helicopter literally BLEW UP WITH HIM IN IT, Asagiri will be like "um akshually" and then the worst possible plot convenience explanation ever, just like EVERYTHING IN THE NEWEST SEASONS HAS BEEN SO FAR.

Like please. I'm SUCH a hater right now. I don't ever want to see more BSD content. I'm done. Wrap it up. The vampires were enough. I didn't need fucking CHUUYA PRETENDING TO BE ONE AND MAKING THE AUDIENCE JUST BELIEVE THAT FYODOR WAS STUPID ENOUGH TO THINK HE ACTUALLY WAS A VAMPIRE?? HELLO? Smart person, who??? Also tell me how he simulated the red eyes, Asagiri. Hm? How'd he pull that off?

Bullshit.

Fyodor and Dazai came off as intelligent in their first few appearances together. Fyodor's BANGER scene with Ace? I'll never get over it. I LOVED that. Was it a BIT of a stretch in a lot of areas? Yeah! BSD has always been that way. But it absolutely lost its course and any sort of grounding in reality or good storytelling when it came to S4-5. All of the "'''''''intelligent'''''''''' characters are now just plot convenience masters. It's absolutely ridiculous. We went from high school level reading to kindergarten shit.

And I never thought I could be made to HATE Dazai. But these new seasons turned up the "oo I'm so quirky" dial on his character so hard that I completely disconnected with him and Fyodor and couldn't stand whatever scenes we got with them together. The whole prison break scene was devastating, too. What EVEN.

Coming from a writer's perspective, this is just the LAZIEST plot I have ever seen in an anime. Asagiri spent NO amount of effort deciding how to make characters work to get themselves out of whatever pits they fell into. He just went "oh and then this other guy swooped in and fixed it! Easy peasy! I'll beat up Kenji again! And then I'll give him this VERY IMPORTANT rage form suddenly that was NEVER explored and NEVER mentioned until just now! For like two minutes so he can "beat" this guy in a fight and then let him go because NOBODY DIES EVER!"

I seriously can't. I knew Dazai wouldn't die but all the fan theories of how Dazai wouldn't die were better than what actually happened. It's almost amazing the amount of non-effort that went into these season arcs.

After finishing them, I now hate Gogol, Fyodor, Dazai, Chuuya (more than before), Atsushi, Fukuchi, Ranpo (though I've never once had a positive thought about him) and basically everybody--except Akutagawa was okay, Sigma, Jouno, and Tetchou had potential, and Bram was very cute. They ruined everyone else so badly that it felt like OOC versions of them. Or did next to nothing with them, like Jouno and Tetchou. ESPECIALLY DAZAI. I will be malding over Dazai for FOREVER now. Why the hell did they turn him up to 100 on the most annoying parts of his personality???

In conclusion, not a single thing went right in those episodes, it was all "oh this could be go-- [GETS RUINED]" over and over again. There was a SINGLE episode that made me happy in S4 and it was that one where Gogol was introduced and he yanked on Atsushi's leg and stuff and that was IT. LMFAO.

Okay I have to cut myself off or I'll go on for hours. THANKS FOR ASKING ME ABOUT IT, IT WAS ALL BOTTLED UP IN ME.

And more importantly, thank you SO much for the compliments on my work!! I'm so happy you like my stuff, and I hope you take writing lessons from Asagiri on all the things you should NEVER do in a story if you want it to be worth anything!!!!

[undisputed-queer-a]

In my opinion the number one thing AEW can do to improve the Women's division

Put her on TV every damn week.

Did you know that the AEW Women's Champion wasn't on the latest episode of Dynamite? Did you know that she wasn't on last week's episode? (and that the amount of women's wrestling on that show was a cool 1 minute 6 seconds (according to cagematch)) Did you know that her only role the week before was as Ruby Soho's second? The same is true of the week before that. Because they had the women's Owen on maybe in AEW's eyes there were enough/too many women's matches on. The week before that she seconded Ruby in match that went 2 minutes and 6 seconds (according to cagematch). The week before, the go home show for Forbidden Door she didn't feature at all. The week before that Toni Storm had her most recent televised match on Dynamite (as of Thursday the 27th of July 2023), a seven minute title defence against Skye Blue. She's been on Collision only once.

And hey if that bit was boring then, good. Good because it shows how far I had to go to find the last time that Toni had a televised AEW singles match. Over a f*cking month. I think the topics I choose are making harder to refrain from swearing in these. Yes this is like technically the second one. I said what I said. And hey that might not be true because I believe she's been on Rampage during that time, I didn't bother to check. I didn't check because I have a suspicion that when I did that whole speech no one stood up and said "Actually you missed this specific episode of Rampage" because, and it feels rude to say but I don't think people care about Rampage that much. But you know who has never fought on Rampage, MJF. You wanna check? I did. In the references section should be a link to a cagmatch search showing every MJF AEW match, none of them occur on Rampage I even combed through the matches from before Rampage began for some reason. I don't know why but I had to be 100% sure.

The reason I bring up Max is that he is the AEW World Champion and Toni is the AEW Women's World Champion. And while theoretically those belts should be on an equal standing the women's belt is lesser, for no other reason than that the company presents it as such. I could now use maths to tell you the amount of TV time each has had since Toni become champion. But I don't need to because You and I probably can't remember much that Toni has done on TV since winning the belt because it's not much. Theoretically Toni should be presented as as much of a star as MJF is, and she's not even presented as being on the same level as FTW Champion Jack Jungle Perry Boy.

So the biggest change I would make to AEW's women's division is to prominently feature their f*cking champion. Call me a bloody booking genius. This is an elementary concept of give your champion TV time (especially more than Britt why do I see Britt more than Toni why has Britt been more protected than every champion since she lost the belt?) and make your champion a centre point for the division and make them a star.

Also you know what I saw when wading through AEW shows looking for Toni? Loads of talented women in dark matches. No I don't mean matches on AEW Dark just regular dark matches seen only by the live crowd. Riho and Nyla Rose and Emi Sakura and Abadon and Mei Suruga. They are hiding these women in dark matches. Mei Suruga has only ever had dark matches and matches on YouTube in AEW. That to me, a ChoccoPro fan, is really sad because they have this amazing talent but they won't use her because have they're weekly women's match booked so they don't need anything else. (Also the irony of me complaining that AEW only ever featured Mei on YouTube is not lost on me.)

In conclusion I want AEW to be better but we're still waiting, and we shouldn't be. So give Impact a go. Or become a Joshi fan, you're immediate thought on that will most likely be Stardom and they're great but TJPW (Tokyo Joshi Pro-Wrestling) is also a great shout. They are incredible and they have English commentary if you want it.

This has been Undisputed Queer-a.

Slay The System, Shock The Cis-tem, and see you Monday this was out of schedule but I really wanted to talk about it. Shout out to Toni 'The Bicon' Storm.

[takaraphoenix]

Here’s the thing. When I first heard that there was supposed to be a love triangle in this show, I was... not a fan of that idea at all, because honestly read the room that’s like the last thing a show about Wednesday Addams needs, even I know that. That was back in episode 3.

Which, also... I was on episode 3 and I had not picked up on a single clue that there was any romance happening here?? I needed tumblr to spell that out for me because of Wednesday’s entire and utter lack of interest in either of them.

Now that I’ve finished the show, I gotta admit I kind of enjoyed the love triangle - definitely not for liking either of those ships or being invested in that - but for the way it inverted the usual love triangle tropes? Like, this shit was funny as hell. Absolutely ridiculous and pathetic. Hilarious to watch.

The boys were behaving the way the girls usually behave in love triangles. This was just 100% the “two teen girls fall for the hot, unobtainable quarterback who doesn’t even know they exist really” trope, but it were two dudes falling for the goth girl. The one who usually doesn’t get the romance. Much less having like every guy who looks at her just instantly fall in love with her.

And they were so delightfully pathetic about it! Utter wet-cat behavior. It was so fucking funny. The sad, pathetic mooning during the party? Where he deadass asked Bianca if she could mindwipe him, because gosh look at his poor broken heart how will he ever recover from this True Love Lost moment?

I was genuinely cackling about that shit. Writers of teen dramas usually only let teen girls act that way about love. So it was a delightful flip on the regular narrative, made all the more funny because she just didn’t give a fuck like she’s here to solve a mystery?? What is all this romance nonsense doing in her way?

She even says it herself. Multiple times. That she’s just manipulating them and using them for her own gain. Like, she’s not maliciously taking advantage of them in a tricky way. She is super open about it. And they still let themselves be used. And come back for more usage.

If you tell me that any of this was played straight (...pun not intended) and was meant to be serious romantic sub-plot? Yikes, you failed hard, writers. But the way it actually came off of? As a parodic take on 90s teen rom-com tropes that was never to be taken as a serious attempt at romance? As that, it worked brilliantly.

I choose to interpret this as such and hope they will drop this issue next season because if you are trying to tell me the dude still comes back for more, after the way the second to last episode unfolded? Damn, that’d... that’d actually be way too pathetic and sad, to the point of no longer being funny.

[anotheruserwithnoname]

A few thoughts about the Doctor Who 60th

I haven't been posting about the 60th anniversary of Doctor Who because the show lost me back in 2017 and it double lost me with The Timeless Children (I've read the script and had discussions with unfortunates who have seen it). So I've been observing the goings on related to the 60th anniversary essentially as an outsider. And as an outsider, I have a few observations now that the BBC, true to form, only this week confirmed that the 3 David Tennant/Catherine Tate anniversary specials will be airing as a 3-week mini-season on Nov. 25, Dec. 2 and Dec. 9 on the BBC (outside the UK you need to have Disney+ to see them now; I've seen no mention of cinema screenings, though that may be because there's no single production this time). Plus, Russell T Davies has been teasing an apparent 4th story (probably a mini-episode) that is speculated as being for Children in Need which is I think Nov. 17.

The first thing is, while 60 is not generally considered the same level of milestone anniversary as 50 anyway, I've noticed general apathy. Back in the 50th, you couldn't ignore the anniversary whether you were a Who fan or not. Hell, in the weeks leading up to the 50th even shows unrelated to Who snuck in references (I've forgotten most of them but Marvel's Agents of SHIELD had a toy TARDIS visible in one scene, etc.). There was a lot of promo for the cinema screenings worldwide. Books, audios, documentaries, the An Adventure in Space and Time TV movie. This time, you'd be forgiven for thinking "Oh, is that in November?" Most of the excitement I've seen has been coming not from general fandom but from fans of the actors (if Jenna Coleman was appearing in one of the specials, I'd be all over it).

I'll be very curious to see how the ratings numbers hold up. While numbers from Disney+ may be difficult to gauge directly, the numbers from the BBC will tell a tale. I expect them to be pretty good because Tennant and Tate are very popular, as is Neil Patrick Harris, so I would expect them to be higher than anything from the previous era - or, indeed, the Matt Smith and Peter Capaldi years (50th anniversary special not included). If they are not... I bet the BBC narrative changes, because if Tennant, Tate and NPH aren't enough to bring viewers back, then I don't know what will.

If things go well, I would still not take ratings success on the specials as any guide to future ratings once the Ncuti Gatwa era begins. Certainly, ratings after the 50th didn't really retain momentum. And that was before Moffat's successor ushered in the most fanbase-destroying era of any franchise (and I'm including Marvel Phase 4 and Star Trek Discovery in this). Between the casting decision to the Timeless Child retcon that turned away many who had cheered and supported the former - well, the BBC ratings tell the tale, right? It's been reported that the BBC was even going to cancel the series (that came from Chibnall, not some Youtuber, and while he couched it in claims that it was budget and logistics that nearly sank it, there was a time when the BBC was willing to shell out for the show; and lots of shows and films still got made during the pandemic, so that's no excuse). Likely the only reason it's still on is because RTD came back (plus the Disney deal likely helped too) and they threw a Hail Mary pass by having Tennant be a surprise buffer Doctor. They aren't just offering us a plate of memberberries by bringing him and Tate back - they're trying to make fois gras with them.

After the specials air ... then what? Will anyone catch that Hail Mary? Yes, we have the Ncuiti Gatwa era coming. All I have ever seen of Gatwa is the few seconds in the trailer. I have not seen any of his other work, nor does it interest me; it would be like me predicting how Peter Capaldi would play 12 based on Local Hero and listening to a Dreamboys record. So no judgement or assumption on how well or how poorly Gatwa will play the role; RTD chose well with Eccleston and Tennant and Gatwa could end up ranking alongside Tom Baker and Capaldi. And as with every new Doctor there will be a viewership spike from the curious. But if his era follows the same downward trajectory as his predecessor (+1) - and if the Disney+ ratings end up being low - I would expect the BBC to announce a series finale special to wrap it up and cut their losses. Especially if Disney - which is not averse to cancelling shows (try watching Willow: The Series) - pulls out.

[handlewithcharacter]

I was reading your tags for Kara/Lena and Drarry and got so curious about the supergirl fandom what happened??? Was the supergirl actress homophobic?? The one who was in glee and that’s why she wasn’t?!?

OH MY GOD OKAY I AM SO SORRY FOR WHAT IS ABOUT TO HAPPEN

The place? San Diego Comic Con. The year? 2017. Everything seems normal. Casts of shows are doing interviews, cracking jokes, it's a good time. And then the Supergirl cast are interview by MTV. And Jeremy Jordan sings a little musical recap of the previous season, in which he jokes that Kara and Lena are just friends. Well, I say joked...he very enthusiastically insists they're just friends. It is, shall we say, tactless. The cast seems surprised but are all laughing to various extents. Later on in the interview they're asked about shipping, and Jeremy Jordan says he's probably going to get some hate for his having "debunked Supercorp." Melissa Benoist tells him that he's "very brave."

Thus ends the part of this story that physically takes place at Comic Con 2017, but the real drama is just getting started.

(the page break is here for dramatic effect, but also because this somehow got very long)

You have to understand, anon, this is in between the second and third seasons of Supergirl. Karamel (Kara and Mon-El) were season 2's highly divisive power couple and the Karamel stans were making it everyone's business to know they had come out of the season on top. And you'd think they'd be in the midst of a great ship war with Karolsen (Kara and James) who decided to just be friends at the start of the season, but nope! No, their big enemy was the Supercorp fans. It was heated. It was tense. There was a block list that got circulated.

I'd say the Supergirl ship wars were the worst I'd ever encountered, but I would go on to join the Timeless fandom, and learned the very hard lesson of why small fandoms and ship wars should not mix. That being said, I'd put the Supercorp/Karamel drama as worse than the Clexa/Bellarke drama, if that helps put things into context for you at all.

So, suffice it to say, the internet was in upheaval over this.

Since I was firmly on the Supercorp side of the Supercorp/Karamel divide at the time, I can't say with much certainty how Karamel shippers reacted, though I assume they were pleased with themselves. But Supercorp fans were not okay. See, anon, I don't know when you started your journey into fandom, but in case it was after this, 2017 was a much different time. Lesbian ships weren't really shipped with the intention of them becoming canon since it was only recently that lesbian ships had started becoming canon, and wlw fandom spaces were all still reeling from the Great Lesbian Purge of 2016, in which roughly 40% of the canon queer women on television were killed off during the television season. (To this day I will watch shows and a queer woman will unexpectedly die for seemingly only shock value, and I'll be horrified, until I see the date the episode aired. Spring of 2016? Yeah, that tracks. Deep sigh. Lost another one to the Bury Your Gays.) Lesbian ships did not have the strength in canon that straight ships had, or the mainstream nerd appeal that gay male ships had. Not only did you have to contend with bitter ship wars, you had to contend with everyone telling you that you shouldn't be shipping the ship in the first place, that having a vested interest in a ship that would never happen was a lost cause and a question of sanity. To be a fan of a wlw ship was to be shut down at every single turn when you weren't even asking to go down the road and were just looking to see a potential view.

(Supercorp was far from the only ship to ever have to put up with this. If you take a look at fandom history, you'll see this countless times. Heck, the Xena fans who wanted Xena to end up with Ares were very determined that the lesbians would not overtake their show.)

But for some people, Supercorp was their first wlw ship. Their first queer community. Their first validation that it wasn't wrong to look at the main character of an incredibly popular show and wonder what it would be like if she kissed her same-gender best friend. I sincerely hope, anon, that whatever flavor you may favor, you have found that kind of validation in your media. It's liberating.

And now here you had Jeremy Jordan and Melissa Benoist "debunking" the myth that Kara and Lena could ever have feelings for each other. In all ways except physical, it was like the Supercorp fandom had just participated in the ice bucket challenge. And, whether it was as part of the Supergirl fandom or elsewhere, the Supercorp fans had already been through hell. It got ugly. Then there were memes. Then there was a lot of hate tweeting. Then there were people yelling about the hate tweeting. Mostly everyone was just a weird mix of angry and sad. These were two actors, two of the leads on this show, engaging in this behavior. It was a gut punch when everyone was already down.

Friday night, Jeremy Jordan releases an apology. It's not really an apology. It's an "I'm sorry you're upset" with a lot of condemnation and self defense. It has the general vibes that we'd describe in 2023 as "it's not that deep," but instead of addressing it to the fans, he condescendingly addresses it "Hey Kids."

Yeah, he'd spend the weekend regretting that.

Sunday, Jeremy Jordan would put out another apology. It was a sincere one this time, admitting he messed up and didn't truly understand the implications of what he was saying or the deep roots of homophobia in fandom culture. Most people accepted this - he was an idiot who made a mistake. Time would tell if he made it again. (Spoiler alert: he did not.) Some people, however, are still mad.

And then there was Melissa Benoist. Mind you, I don't think she personally acknowledged any of this at all. But her publicist sent out a statement (according to the fact checking I'm doing as I write this, it was in a private email to a fan, who then posted the response to tumblr) that Melissa was a proven ambassador of LGBT acceptance, as shown by her work on Glee. Uh, yeah. So that became a meme.

This, more or less, is where our story ends, unless you count a since-deleted Blind Item put out by TVLine that may or may not have been about the cast of Supergirl (but was heavily speculated to be about the cast of Supergirl) in which someone overheard two actors fighting before an interview the following day about one of their behavior, that ended when the other said "I just can't talk about this right now." (I am so bummed I cannot link this article, anon, you have no idea.) (The leading theory was that Katie McGrath, who of course came to Supergirl already having amassed a sizable queer following from her role in Merlin and also possibly her role in Dracula, gave Mr. Jordan a piece of her mind about what was and wasn't acceptable to say to a queer fan.)

And that's my tale. In addition to the season they were promoting, the cast of Supergirl would go on to do four more seasons and manage to get out of the Arrowverse without overstaying their welcome or being cancelled unceremoniously. And they moved on. Jeremy Jordan went back to New York, where he returned to Broadway and Off-Broadway and he's soon to be Off-Off-Broadway in the premiere of The Great Gatsby: the Musical. He also along the way ended up playing one of Hallmark's very first gay main characters. Katie McGrath went on to be a bisexual character on an Irish show, do the audiobook narration for a lesbian period romance novel, and is a masked evil lady in the new John Wick tv show. And Melissa Benoist went on to do a lot of incredible things in her personal life that don't necessarily belong in this little essay I've written here.

Genuinely, I wish everyone in that cast all the best.

Anon, I am so sorry this got as long as it did. I hope this answered your question!

[scintillatingshortgirl19]

I posted 1,355 times in 2022

That's 259 more posts than 2021!

68 posts created (5%)

1,287 posts reblogged (95%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@jamietarttsdaddyissues

@swiftiejamietartt

@theoriginalvelocipastor

@lonelyheartsmotel

@elly-hiddlesherloki

I tagged 1,354 of my posts in 2022

#ted lasso - 533 posts

#jamie tartt - 415 posts

#roy kent - 169 posts

#loki fanart - 130 posts

#ted lasso meta - 91 posts

#art - 56 posts

#videos - 55 posts

#jamie tartt/roy kent - 51 posts

#queer stuff - 49 posts

#keeley jones - 46 posts

Longest Tag: 119 characters

#and even if you are an apple device owner and you know some other way for me to watch the show in hd...also let me know

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

not thinking about jamie watching a loving father hug his son 🥺

101 notes - Posted July 20, 2022

#4

watching two aces again and hooo boy am i having feelings about how Jamie's jaw-clenching motion is the exact same as the one we see in the man city scene

102 notes - Posted August 7, 2022

#3

holy fuck i am a FOOL

how. how did i JUST NOW connect jamie's sad little laugh and his general "clearly trying not to burst into tears right here on this bus" reaction when he gets the army man from ted at the end of the season 1 finale, to the scene at the beginning of the season in which jamie witnesses ted offering sam a similar army man

you know. the scene in which ted tells sam that henry gave the army men to him to "help keep me safe while i'm away"

I AM NOT OKAY

See the full post

152 notes - Posted July 26, 2022

#2

So I obsess a lot about how small and vulnerable Jamie looks when he goes to ask Ted to let him come back to Richmond in the second episode of season two, but today I rewatched the second episode of season one and now I'm having Feelings about how similar Jamie's whole vibe is in the “positive reinforcement” scene. They’ve just played their first match under Ted and lost, and Ted’s called Jamie into his office to try out Keeley’s suggestion on how to get through to Jamie.

There's this gifset showing how Jamie tends to look down when he's feeling vulnerable, and that's exactly Jamie's response when Ted compliments him in this scene as well. But also, now that I know what to look for, I realized that that vulnerability never goes away at any point during this scene. Everything about his body language the entire time is SO much like the scene in Lavender.

Watching this scene again also made me wonder if Jamie doesn't actually get praised that often - at least not in meaningful, one-on-one settings by people who are actually in his life. Obviously Jamie's rich and famous and he gets a lot of praise from fans, but there's a different quality to a bunch of strangers singing your praises vs somebody looking you in the eye and telling you, genuinely, that you are "the best athlete I have ever coached."

See the full post

156 notes - Posted June 5, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

so i just watched this interview with brett, juno, and phil and i am losing my mind because the interviewer opened by sort of reluctantly calling their dynamic a “three-way” and not a single one of them disagreed with him

and, more importantly - this is what phil's face did in response

171 notes - Posted July 20, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[cromulentbookreview]

Lost in a Cheese Trance

*wakes up*

*looks at internet*

Maybe I should check that book review blog I’m supposed to be working on. Huh, looks like I haven’t updated this book review blog since *shuffles papers* last November?

Wait, what is it now? 

July? Oh. Shit. 

I’d like to say my absence was for a good reason. But there wasn’t. I’m just lazy. Plus, there were so many digital advanced review copies for me to choose from and along with those are the already released books that I need to read...that and I just didn’t feel like it. I do that sometimes. One minute I’ll tell myself I’ll write one review a month and the next minute it’s been eight months of “...I’ll get to that later.”

And I never got to it. Until now! Yay!

(all those crickets and tumbleweeds you’re hearing are because nobody reads this, but I’m going to keep writing these anyway).

If there was any book that could bring me out of my laziness-induced hiatus, it is Sona Movsesian’s hilarious memoir detailing the downfall of her own ambition.

And by that, I mean: The World’s Worst Assistant by Sona Movsesian!

How does someone who worked so hard to get her foot in the door end up as the World’s Worst Assistant? Keep reading and I’ll show you a brand-new world, one where deadlines are spurned, professionalism is seldom upheld, and you’ll never have to miss an episode of your favorite TV show.

-From the uncorrected copy of The World’s Worst Assistant.

Sona Movsesian is the first to admit she isn’t great at her job. Which is a bit of a problem when you’re the assistant to comedy legend Conan O’Brien.

Sona is a boss who doesn’t give a single fuck. But she didn’t start out that way. She came into her job as Conan’s assistant as someone eager to do a good job. But, like so many of us, as the years passed, she got comfortable in her job. 

Comfortable enough to no longer give a shit.

Now, before I get into Sona’s book I should explain: I’ve been a fan of Conan O’Brien practically since birth.

Not only is he responsible for some of the best episodes of The Simpsons, ever, (Marge vs. The Monorail, Homer Goes to College and New Kid on the Block), he’s also my favorite ever Late Night host. Growing up, they’d play last night’s Conan at 6 PM and we’d watch it religiously. In high school, we’d watch the monologue, the post-monologue bit, and then, during the interviews, my dad would try to help me do my math homework. Unfortunately, I’m both easily distracted and terrible at math. 

Now, I’m not saying Conan O’Brien is the reason why I did so poorly in math during high school but, I mean...

Who could possibly focus with that going on in the background?

I still remember being heartbroken when Andy left the original Late Night show, and how elated I was to see him come back for The Tonight Show.

And as for that debacle, well...let’s just say that was my entire sophomore year of college and I even wrote a term paper about it. I am not kidding. 

Anyway! I’ve been a Conan fan forever. I have a Late Night shot glass, a Tonight Show T-Shirt, the OG I’m With Coco shirt from back in 2010, and I went to the very first Legally Prohibited from Being Funny On Television Tour show because, lucky for me, it was held in Eugene, Oregon. I mean, major tours almost never stop within driving distance of me, but oh man. I still have merch from that tour, but they’re a bit beat up now (my Team Coco bottle opener has long since lost all its orange lettering so it’s just a plain black bottle opener now) but still. 

Fun fact: for roughly half a second you can see actual human me in the Conan O’Brien Can’t Stop documentary waiting outside of the Hult Center. That ticket was the best money I, as a broke college student with exactly zero dollars to spare, ever spent.

Anyway: big Conan fan. Cried when he ended his show on TBS but I listen to Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend every day during my morning commute. 

But enough about Conan.

Let’s talk about the Queen herself: Sona Movsesian.

Sona has been part of some of the best bits of Conan’s TBS show and on his podcast. If you haven’t seen some of the bits they’ve done together, I highly suggest you stop reading now and watch a few. Or just leave this page altogether, watch the Conan Without Borders they did in Armenia. 

As you can see from some of the bits they do together, Conan and Sona exist as foils for one another: Conan is the anxious, highly-strung workaholic, and Sona is the chill assistant who shrugs and goes “eh” and figures everything will work out fine in the end. Hilarity inevitably ensues. Throw in Matt Gourley, the podcast producer who exists somewhere in the middle ground between Conan and Sona, and you’ve got one of the top 50 podcasts ever! 

At number 46. 

Honestly, my favorite bits of the podcast are when the trio of Conan, Sona and Matt just BS amongst themselves. Together, the three of them are absolutely hilarious. I’ve always found Conan to be at his most hilarious to be when he’s interacting with others, and Sona and Gourley are perfect foils. Also, listening to them just reminds me so much of me and my siblings talking together - where we’ll banter and rag on each other and make sure one is taken down a peg when they need to be, just as Sona, Conan and Gourley interact with one another. And it’s never mean, either, it’s in that way that you see with siblings - everyone cares about each other, but by God they will poke fun when there is fun to be poked. 

Fun to be poked? Sounds disgusting, but whatever. At least I’m writing and not sitting around for eight months going “...yeah, I’ll write another post later...”

What was I talking about?

Oh, right, The World’s Worst Assistant!

Sona’s memoir isn’t just a book about being a terrible assistant. It’s a manifesto against the shitty working conditions lower-level employees face on a daily basis. Sona encourages her readers not to take shit - she uses a pretty apt Human Centipede metaphor to describe how mistreatment in the workplace is often perpetuated: the lowest employees are treated like shit, they eventually get promoted and then they treat those below them like shit…shit rolls downhill, the abused always kick downwards, etc. etc. But, as Sona points out, the way to stop this cycle is to STOP TREATING PEOPLE LIKE SHIT. Employers, quit treating your employees like shit. Employees, quit taking your employers’ shit. It’s not worth it. And, if you’ve taken shit from your employer and got promoted? Don’t immediately start treating those below you like shit. 

Reviewer, you probably aren’t asking, do you have to keep using the word shit? 

Yes. Yes I do. If you don’t like it you can leave. 

Wait, no, don’t leave! How else will I get people to read this dumb review blog? No! Come back! 

Aside from her hilarious, but very, very real take on how bosses often abuse their power when it comes to the staff who work below them, Sona also details the best ways for an assistant to get away with doing as little as possible. As someone who has worked their fair share of admin jobs (my boss referred to me the other day as their “assistant” and I was like...fair...) I am definitely familiar with some of Sona’s methods, but some are just next level. Being able to pull off a nap at work? That is the absolute dream. Alas, my current workplace has no sofas to crash on. Also I don’t believe in sleeping during the day, nighttime is for sleep, sleeping during the day wastes daylight hours that could be spent toiling in the fields. Sorry, my ancestors were all dirt farmers and I’m convinced that this is the reason why I don’t like napping during the day. But having spent so many years having to be up at, like, 4 AM to get to work on time, sometimes you need a nap around noon so you don’t fall asleep during the drive home. Someday I hope to use Sona’s nap-during-work-hours secret. Someday.

If you think that these methods are a sure way to get fired, don’t worry! Sona has a solution for that. She details all the ways you can make yourself indispensable at work while also gathering up all the things you need to make yourself unfireable. Is unfireable a word? There’s no red underline on in my google doc, so it is now. We lowly admin types are often under-paid and neglected, but, as Sona reminds us, our power lies in the fact that we know everything. Credit card numbers, where the good office supplies are kept, all the passwords, everybody’s schedule...of course, we’d never actually use any of this as a weapon, but sometimes it helps to hint that we could. Maybe. 

In all, The World’s Worst Assistant was an absolute joy to read. Sona’s writing is uproariously funny and her stories are incredibly relatable, especially if you (like me) have ever been an admin or someone’s assistant. The only criticism I can think of is that if you come into this book blind, you will have no idea what is going on. You have to be familiar with Conan O’Brien, his shows and his podcast to know a lot of what Sona is talking about - as a lifelong fan, I loved it. However, if you are like “Conan O’Who now?” then you’re probably not going to be too geared up to read a book by his assistant, even if it is one of the funniest books I’ve read in a long time. 

RECOMMENDED FOR: Fans of Conan O’Brien needs a friend, anyone who has ever worked as an assistant or any sort of admin position, anyone who has ever worked in or wanted to work in entertainment.

NOT RECOMMENDED FOR: people who have never watched Conan, people with no sense of humor, bosses, people who inherited all the money and have never had to work a day in their life, people who have ever even thought the phrase “Jay Leno is funny”, people who have something against fun and joy.

RELEASE DATE: July 19, 2022

RATING: 5/5

TOTALLY UNBIASED TEAM SONA RATING: 500,000,000,000 / 5

NUMBER OF TIMES I SPAT OUT MY DRINK LAUGHING WHILE READING THIS BOOK: 8

WHAT THIS REVIEW BLOG REALLY IS:

OBLIGATORY PODCAST REFERENCE:

KEDAKAI!

AS GOD MADE HER.

[the-indie-owl]

I just have to say I REALLY love your designs for the Gods and Goddesses of both Greek AND Roman Mythology if they appeared in SpongeBob SquarePants. And I'm really pumped to see what you have planned for the future ^^

I just wanna say, First of All, THANK YOU SO MUCH for the Love that you really enjoy my own personal takes on the Greco-Roman Gods themselves it really means so much to Me within my Heart that I will keep going on drawing my versions of Neptune and Poseidon's own Families if they would appear in that Universe since I enjoy Greek Mythology a lot as well as any Media's takes on any God and Neptune/Poseidon is one of my Most Favorite Gods ever in all of Mythology. I will keep on trying to figure out which design will suit any Greek God and their Counterpart 💖

As well as figuring out on which Voice will suit on each of them for what I headcanon to what they will sound like if they appeared in the franchise (which I know that will never happened because Sea Gods are only allowed BUT let's just imagine it instead if they did include some Other Non-Water Deities ^^).

Second of All, I have been getting to know the SpongeBob fandom recently since June. Ever since I've cried so hard because of what was happening during the first months this year (lost my Uncle who was one of the Brothers of My Mother (RIP)), I've been through a lot of Pain, Stress, Toxic Fans, and Dramas, I couldn't take it anymore as I instantly quit on that and started a new life (which I am currently in right now as you can tell).

I have re-watched the show and got a chance to watch its Modern Episodes through Streaming (Mostly Amazon and Paramount+) since I haven't seen the Show in such a long time even after I stopped watching it since Season 9. But now that I am currently in it's fandom since it somehow just became one of my main and most favorite medias of all time since I've looked back into it, I even remembered all the good times that I had when I watched the show ever since childhood (Ah, the Nostalgia).

Plus, SpongeBob is a very Good Show that keeps Me calm and makes Me want to forget about the Bad Times that I've been through and even the Fandom around Me is so very Healthy! Not even one single Toxic Fan was bumped into Me! ^^

I of course have watched its Two Spin-Offs despite Stephen being unsure if he wanted to have one (I know that many people say that he didn't want one for his own creation but I heard that there was someone saying that He didn't know IF a Spinoff could work). Kamp Koral is cute (despite on how none of the backstory behind SpongeBob and his Friends were true in the first place) and even The Patrick Star Show is a bit Funny.

If you are wondering on how I got the idea of Greek and Roman Gods being in the show, well, chances are, since we've all know that Neptune has been around in the show since when it was first started around the 90s. He's one of the very few first versions of the Roman God of the Seas as well as being the Counterpart of the Greek God of the Seas himself that we all know. But when I got to watch "Sponge On The Run", I immediately fell in love with their version/take on Poseidon (Neptune's Greek Counterpart). This made Me wonder if perhaps that the series itself somehow takes place in an Alternative Universe where if Gods existed in a Reality where if all Myths and Legends were real (Of course, we do see in Some Media of Gods living in the Modern Era that we are currently in living in our world like Percy Jackson or Lore Olympus).

Considering the fact that I love OCXCanon and have always done that throughout the years, I've put up a big twist behind my version on Salacia (The Roman Counterpart of Amphitrite and Neptune's Real Wife from Roman Mythology) into turning her a Wife of Poseidon as well as still being accurate to her Original version. Needless to say, she's little of an OC and is way more of a personal take on one of the Roman Goddesses.

We don't really get much Poseidon and Amphitrite versions like Hades and Persephone but even though Poseidon cheats on his wife, I bet Amphitrite doesn't care cuz she still loves her Husband (I wonder why she is never shown towards being angry at him).

Thirdly of all, this is going to surprise you one bit but my personal take on Greco-Roman Gods wasn't really the first time that I've used Gods in an AU story of a Certain Media. The First One that I did was a SMG4 AU of Mine and I even wrote a story about it on Wattpad (which had my own Arc that involved around Marine Cultures of Sea Life since Splatoon is another one of those Beach/Ocean themed Media of Video Games). I even had Greek Gods in my that Other AU of Mine (I haven't been in an SMG4 mood since and I'm still doubting about wanting to remake it like maybe change my own SMG4 AU Arc up a bit and maybe take out the Greek Gods away OR just only keep one of them like Zeus for instance just so that I would keep focusing on my true Take on Greco-Roman Mythology which is in My Own SpongeBob AU for now on).

So yeah, I would just probably have to remake my SMG4 AU just so that people wouldn't be confuse by my other AU which also has Greek Gods in it (Little Reminder that just because I have been using Gods in my AU stories doesn't mean I'm gonna keep using the Greek Gods in ALL of my AU stories because that would be very boring and overused a lot so I would just only use them only for a Single AU of Mine). I would just have to probably remove the Greek Gods for my SMG4 AU and keep them only for my SpongeBob AU since Neptune and Poseidon are around (which means I could perhaps re-write my own SMG4 Arc).

I have been recently thinking that maybe I could also add in the Other Water Deities from Other Mythologies as well as adding in Other Non-Water Gods with them. It would be like on how if SpongeBob SquarePants was like a Disney's Hercules 2.0. (Adding in Other Mythologies including both the Other Foreign Water Deities and The Non-Water Gods all together), quite similar to yours when you design what the Other Gods would look like if they were in Hercules ^^

I'm somehow unsure if Hillenburg himself was ever a Mythologist on Ancient Greece and Rome. Perhaps he was somehow fascinated in Poseidon and that's how his own personal take on Neptune was born (I dunno, just a little guess ;^^).

I know that the Show itself isn't all about Mythology but just only imagine if they ever did on personal takes on Other Gods (then Neptune and Poseidon wouldn't have to be the only ones). I've been a Greco-Roman Mythologist for a very long time ever since I got into Lore Olympus since 2018 and it has really made Me love Greek Mythology and all of its Personal Takes on it (either in Movies, Shows, Books, Video Games, ect.) I'll never hate on any adaptation of Greco-Roman Mythology, no matter on how the Gods are portrayed differently from their Mythical Names.

Anyways, I just wanna say, Thank You for your Kind Compliment, it really warms up my Heart. It's very nice to see on someone who loves my own versions on Greek and Roman Gods as separated people, as well as being accurate to what they would look like in the Franchise's Style! 💗

[purplesurveys]

1509

Do you think friend break ups are worse than relationship break ups? Losses suck either way, but I don’t think there is a breakup that is objectively ‘worse’ because it would depend on the kind of relationship you had. What's your current mood?: Relaxed. I filed a leave this Monday so I’m not feeling the usual “How is it already Sunday tomorrow?” jitters that I get on Saturday evenings. Comfortable is also a significant mood for me right now – it’s been raining and I’m satisfied with the colder climate.

What's a recent song you've discovered?: Nayeon’s Pop is so catchy it’s ridiculous.

How many selfies do you take in a weeks time?: Zero. I discussed this in a recent survey but I discovered that my last selfie was all the way back in June, which should tell you how (not) frequently I take them.

Is there anyone you've lost respect for here recently?: Nah.

What does your last message say?: “Sure!” from one of my clients. The reply felt quite cold but it’s completely understandable since we had to coordinate on something during the weekend and she could’ve been busy lol.

How often do you tell little white lies?: Occasionally, when it’s easier than explaining something more complex. < Yeah, this is a good way to summarize my answer.

What is the last article of clothing you bought?: I got this cute little khaki dress on a whim just because Angela sent a link to me lol. I currently have cash on hand so my mind was conditioned to make the purchase immediately hahaha.

What all has made you smile today?: Seeing my favorite aunt (I went to the dentist along with her kids) and catching up with her; having a chicken sandwich for lunch; and learning that Jimin is going to Chicago to watch Hobi’s set for Lollapalooza :(( OH and watching clips from the newest In the Soop episode.

Do you listen to any "problematic" artists or bands?: This is me largely with Kanye West. But I don’t typically gravitate towards other problematic artists - like the way I’m already conditioned to automatically dislike any song Chris Brown is in.

Name a random inside joke you have with someone.: Job orders.

Do you or anyone you know have a pet husky?: Yes, it’s a fairly common dog breed here.

Are you over the age of 21?: Yes.

How many pets do you have? What are some of their quirks?: We have two dogs. On quirks, hmm...Aki likes to sit upright when we try to pick him up (to give us a more difficult time), but he sits up in such a human-like manner that it cracks us up every time. Cooper plays catch like normal for the most part, but for some reason if his toy is thrown towards the kitchen he tends to pounce predator-style. 

What's a topic you'd like to educate yourself more on?: Cars. It’d be nice to know how to handle issues without calling my parents every single time lol.

Do you like dad jokes?: They’re amusing but I don’t find them necessarily funny.

What's something you do a lot?: Vape.

Have you ever or would you have a pet frog?: Nope. Just seeing one outside the house freaks me out, so idk if I could handle having one inside.

Are you currently procrastinating?: Not really, no. I was able to finish off my entire workload last Friday, and I especially made an effort to do so to begin with since I’m not going to report to work this Monday.

Are you good at memorizing important numbers? (social security #, phone numbers): I’d say I’m average. There are numbers I can easily memorize than others.

Do you pay any attention to horoscopes?: Never.

Have you ever had your face painted?: Yeah, mostly as a kid because most children’s parties have face painting booths. I can’t remember a recent time where I had this done, though.

Would you go out in public looking like you do right now?: No, I’ve already changed to loungewear.

Does any part of your body hurt currently?: I mean there’s supposed to be pressure on my mouth coming from my wisdom tooth removal earlier, but I’ve taken a painkiller so I feel nothing. It might have also helped that this is my second extraction so I feel like my brain covered up the pain for me this time around, if that makes sense lol.

What's a childhood toy you miss or wish was still a thing?: I was never attached to toys all that much. The ones I did have are still popular I think, like kitchen sets and Legos. What's the last chaotic thing you've done or seen someone do?: I randomly felt like pulling out all the CDs and DVDs I’ve ever bought of Beyoncé as a way of celebrating her new album coming out and generally just look back at that time in my life lol. Thing is all my merch of hers have since been placed at the innermost nooks and crannies of my cabinets so I had to take out so much shit to get to them. I didn’t even have a plan in mind; I just wanted to see them LOL.

Did you used to play hangman?: Yeah, it was a good way to kill time with friends/cousins as a kid.

Is the sun shining where you are?: It’s not; it’s currently 8:10 PM.

Are you proud of yourself?: Sure, you can say that.

What's your favorite and least favorite artificial flavors?: Favorite would probably be strawberry or watermelon. I can’t stand cherry.

Are you an angry person or more laid back?: I won’t lie, I’m frequently more uptight/tense. I feel like I’m always subconsciously looking out for the next thing to worry about, haha.

Do you struggle with certain health conditions that you wish people understood more? (mental health included): Not really. I’d include mental health like you said, but fortunately people these days have been more welcoming and understanding about mental health issues and that to me is good enough progress.

When did you last make a decision?: Like an hour ago when I made the conscious choice to stop playing In the Seom so I can resume taking surveys.

Do you make to-do lists so you remember things easier?: Yes. I have a daily work to-do list that I r e l i g i o u s l y update. I’m super dependent on it – I fix it at the start of every workday and I am 100% going to be all over the place if I’m not able to fill up that list.

What color are your curtains?: Off-white.

What's the last thing you ate?: I’m currently eating a bacon burger.

How much television do you watch daily?: I don’t really use the TV anymore. But if we’re talking YouTube, I’m on it for probably 4-6 hours a day. I occasionally keep it as background noise while at work, then I usually spend all evening having YouTube videos on once I clock out.

What do you think is an underrated thing?: Peanut butter in burgers.

Does it seem like some surveys ask the most invasive questions or do you not mind them?: It can get invasive, like if it asks for the names of my parents or when they go so far as to ask what my middle name is. If I come across questions like those I just avoid answering them or delete the question altogether.

What is your go to karaoke song? or just a song you enjoy singing along to?: Spring Day by BTS is a forever oldie but goodie.

What's the longest you've went without electricity?: Like a day and a half maybe? It sucked but it was hilarious when it finally came on and we could hear the nearby households rejoicing.

Do you believe in reincarnation? What would you like to come back as?: No. For my own peace of mind I like to remain in the belief that death is permanent sleep, and that that’s just it for everyone.

Do you prefer sweet or unsweetened drinks?: Sweet.

Do you have a preferred name other than your birth name?: Nope. My birth name is also my nickname.

Are you a clumsy person? When did you last do something clumsy?: Yeah, I can be. Last clumsy thing I did was to step on my sister’s toe hahahah.

Would you raise a child the way your parents raised you? What would you do differently?: I mean, not snooping through my kids’ things would be a great start. I’d also be more invested in them - I’d help with their homework, read bedtime stories, set one-on-one dates, adjust my career such that I’ll get to spend time with them more as they grow. I feel like time is the biggest time I missed on with my own parents – I get why they didn’t have much of it with us, but I also wish that hadn’t been the case.

What's the last compliment you received?: It was just one of our clients being super grateful because we were able to fulfill one of their really last-minute asks.

What is a topic you find yourself arguing with others about?: I don’t really find myself debating with friends these days.

What's a TV show you really disliked?: I tried to start Grey’s Anatomy but the first episode had no sparks with me, so I never continued.

[florencwrites]

ignoring is bliss 〚technoblade〛

in which [reader] struggles with her lover's inconsequent affection, and a good talk is unfortunately inevitable; the silent treatment has never worked well with techno.

"I don't know what you want me to say." His back had still been turned towards me at this point, the rake heavy in my hands as I tried using it to steady myself in the muddy stable. He kept loading dirty plucks of hay onto his pitchfork, the thinly lined buttoned shirt he was wearing easily letting his back muscles shine through.

I stood silently behind him, deliberating my words thoroughly. I hated when he acted like this, I absolutely despised him. He was one of the smartest men I'd ever had the pleasure of meeting, however, the second things went sideways conversation-wise he always played it painfully personally. He would start correcting my grammar or suggest synonyms for otherwise satisfactory sentences. "I don't either."

"I guess that marks the end of this conversation." He turned around to dump his gathered muck in the makeshift wheelbarrow Phil had built us. His face was hard, his brows furrowed and his features lax. He seemed indifferent, his attitude scaring me to pieces.

"Tech, please." I tried, putting one of my hands up to gesture for him to stop walking. He was now barely lifting the barrow from the ground, ready to head off to the dump. He huffed, his eyes meeting the floor as he put the wagon down. "You know I hate it when you call me that."

"I'm sorry," I muttered softly.

He ducked to grip his hands around the handles again, lifting it from the ground. His knuckles were white where they held onto the leather-covered grips. "Speak up."

"I want to have a conversation with you, okay? Stop acting so fucking stuck up and talk to me." His shoulder brushed past mine as he exited the stables, my voice was high in emotions, definitely on the verge of breaking with desperation.

He snorted. "I'll listen to whatever you have to say when you've calmed down."

-

"He won't talk to me, Phil." I groaned almost obnoxiously loud, taking a sip of water to wash down both my dinner and my agitation. "You know how he gets."

"All pissy? Tell me about it." He chuckled softly, his forearm shielding his bowl from my sight. He shoveled another spoonful of beef stew into his mouth. Phil and I had never been extraordinarily close, he reckoned Techno and me to be undeserving of each other. A terrible pair. And perhaps we were, at times like this I couldn't help but doubt whether or not we truly were the destined lovers we often thought ourselves to be. "I'll bring him some food later."

I laughed at him, a father at heart. A father to anyone but his actual sons, really. A playful grin on my lips, "You're an enabler, Phil."

-

That night I crawled into an empty bed. One I hadn't even doubted would be just that; empty. He was weak like that, he'd do anything to avoid conflict. Whether that was because he was afraid of what his blinding rage fits would conjure, or whether he was just an impotent coward. Someone who didn't know how to act around uncertainty and immorality and thus resorted to blaming everything on his treacherous temper.

The sheets still smelled of him, I held them to my nose.

There was no reason for us to fight, I hadn't meant to start one. I simply wanted him to realize how different he acted towards me when surrounded by any crowd. He acted so distant it made me doubt not only us, but myself. My heart ached anytime he pulled his hand away from where I tried leaving him a subtle touch. My skin crawled when he no longer referred to me by the mild, but unmissably warm names he had for me.

However, nothing would ever hurt me as much as meeting his eyes in a room of our friends and seeing the love seep from his irises. Physically witnessing his affection turn into nothing short of mere acquaintance.

Everyone knew us. There was no reason for him to act so cold, so distant. Though, I also recognized that perhaps there was an underlying reason. One I simply hadn't thought of, or perhaps one that I couldn't ever imagine. One that he had retained from his troublesome past.

The thing is, it hurt me to think he didn't trust me enough with his reasoning. That he didn't want to tell me about his thoughts. I'd been extremely careful and meticulous with any information he'd granted me, I was sure to never let what he told me change my opinion of him. I vowed to never look at him any different.

So, why could he not promise me the same?

-

There was no point in pushing myself from my sheets the next morning. I knew how long his episodes usually lasted, I wouldn't even have to try talking to him for at least two more days. Normally, I'd try, though. I'd sit in the grass right next to where he was working outside, just talking to him about anything and everything I could think of. Back then I thought for his silence to mean confusion, I thought his swirling mind simply needed a break. That a distraction would do him good.

I sat in the barely-molten grass for hours, never getting a reply.

His smell was constricting my airways slowly, every inhale making it harder and harder to breathe. What if Phil was right, what if he truly didn't love me, or not anymore at least? What if it was all an act to have a warm body to fall asleep next to, to have an extra set of hands around the cottage.

I kicked at the sheets, desperate to get them away from me, to get them from clinging to my sweaty body. I only tangled my legs further into the mess. The bed creaked loudly against the wooden floor of the attic, a gust of wind running through a small gap in the roof.

I shot up, finally being able to rid my body of the sheets. I huffed a few times, the annoyance getting the better of me. I slung my legs over the side of the bed, now just sitting on the wooden frame, letting my eyes wander over the walls. The pictures of us that were tightly tacked to the planks, photos of our favorite pets and our best of friends. Photos of us with Phil and Tommy, and even a stray photo of me and Wilbur, back when we were kids.

My gaze found its way towards the singular window behind our bed, the only one of two walls that weren't entirely slanted. His red robe stood out like a sore thumb in the feeble blanket of slushy snow that had been slowly accumulating over the course of the night. Summer was officially over once again, and the cold would soon make it so we could no longer afford to sleep alone.

He rarely wore his robe outside of special occasions, he usually would simply opt for one of his brown ones. One was trimmed with a thick deer fur, the leather on it sure to keep all frost out. The other one was his summer one, the more dirty one of the two. It was always stained with blood, since it would also be the one he went hunting with. He disliked hunting in the winter, the harsh winds and easily discernible prints made it no fun, according to him. He stacked up during the summer, drying his meats to allow them to be kept safe for months, if not years.

But now he was wearing his red robe, lined with the finest of polar bear fur. The one that had the special compartments for his potions, and the one I had sown a totem into. For good luck. He rarely wore it for any occasion but war.

He pushed himself from the ground, turning around swiftly; the velocity making his cape whisk dramatically up in the wind. His eyes seemed fixated on the ground until they unwarrantedly shot up to the window I was sitting at. Any other day, I would've averted my gaze. Not now. He knew I was staring, and he was allowed to know so. I held my eyes on him until his feet carried him out of sight, into the house. I sighed softly, I felt entirely forlorn without him, without his caring hands and loving eyes. I let myself fall back into the bed, cuddling the sheets once again as I curled away from the entrance. I reckoned he would have to change out of his robe soon, and I didn't want to face him when he did.

-

I heard the front door slam, and as predicted the rungs of the many ladders soon creaked in his hold. The worn, practically ancient, trapdoor was pushed ajar behind me. I couldn't be bothered to turn to meet his eyes. However, instead of quietly changing out of his clothes, I felt the bed dip. He sat on the side of it, much alike to how I had found myself just minutes before.

"I don't like feeling weak." His voice was rougher than usual, it kept its usual monotone aura, but for some reason, it felt more emotional than ever before. He cleared his throat as if to try and mask it, to no avail, "I don't love you any less."

I shifted in the bed, though, he quickly stopped me, "Don't look at me, that just makes it harder."

I obliged. He let out a trembling sigh, taking his sweet time to deliberate his next words, "Sometimes we are outside together and I'm afraid that when they see how much I care about you, they will realize that you make me weak." I stared at the wall, still curled into the blankets. I wanted nothing more than to hold his face, look at him as he spoke. Instead, I had to make do with the pictures of his face plastered on the wood. His pointy, flappy ears and peaked nose. The two sharp-looking fangs set in the corners of his lips, ones that seemed to disappear when he smiled. He didn't like smiling for pictures, I didn't have a single one of the two of us together where he smiled. The only ones that showed his beautiful pearly whites were the ones that had me behind the camera, something I only then realized might've not been a coincidence.

"It scares me to think they could hurt you for loving me, that's why I don't like holding your hand in town." I shot a quick look over my shoulder, his back was slouched over, his head in his hands with his elbows propped on his knees. He wasn't crying, he simply seemed lost."I never realized that what scares me even more is the idea of you not loving me at all."

I slowly crept from under the sheets as his words fell silent. I crawled over towards where he was sat, near the foot-end of the bed. I took one of his hands from where he had rested his face on it and pulled it out of the way.

I snaked my arms around his neck, pulling my body into his. I draped my legs over his lap as I held him. His built arms felt tender against my exposed back, however, he held me tight. He squeezed softly as another quivering breath escaped his lips. We sat in embrace for a while.

"That's all I asked for, Tech." I smiled into his neck. "I just wanted to talk, that wasn't so hard, now, was it?"

"Shut up." He playfully tried pushing me away from his torso, underestimating the power of my cling. "You know I hate it when you call me that."

[quixotic-writer]

Truth or Truth?

Request: Anon

Summary: Q and Sal are in a double punishment. Q is hooked up to a lie detector and is forced to answer questions about his relationship with his girlfriend who just so happens to be Sal’s sister. Whether he likes it or not, the truth will be revealed.

Warning: Smut ahead!

–––––––––––––––––––––––––

“Well, seems both Sal and Q have lost the episode.” Murr announces to the cameras with absolute joy that for once he wasn’t the one being miserably punished. Sal and Q nod their heads in defeat and chuckle out of fear of what awaits them on the stage beyond the curtain of the theatre they were stationed at for the day.

“Which means a double punishment is out there waiting for you guys.” Joe says with an equal level of glee as Murr.

“Can we just get to it now, I'm sweating buckets and I just wanna get this over with.” Sal says as he wipes his hands on the sides of his pants to rid his palms of the sweat that was building up.

“Okay, okay. Let’s get you guys out on that stage!” The two men are laughing as the other two did as they were instructed. There on the stage were two chairs. One of those chairs was next to a table filled with wires and equipment, the other had rope surrounding it. Sal and Q both look at each other with eyebrows raised in question of the curious set up. “Sal you will be taking the chair on the left, Q you get the chair on the right next to that machine we’ll get you hooked up to.” The minute he heard the phrase ‘get you hooked up,’ Q knew exactly what the boys had in store.

He complied without saying anything, it was a punishment after all and it’s not like he could evacuate or run away anywhere. He watched as Sal was sat in his chair and tied up good and well to it.

“Guys I thought this was a double punishment. Why am I just being tied to a chair and Q getting hooked up to a lie detector test? What are you gonna do? Ask him how many times he’s fantasized about fictional women while jacking off?” Sal laughs. Little did he know what the guys had in store for this special use of the lie detector test.

“So our buddy Q here has been dating Sal’s sister – (Y/N) – for quite a while now.” Joe said with a toothy grin on his face. They watched as Sal’s face dropped immediately to shock and disgust.

“So we’ve hooked Q up to a lie detector test and we’ll be asking him a few questions about their relationship.” Both Murr and Joe were laughing. “But wait! It gets better!”

“There’s only one audience member besides us here.” When the lights brightened slightly, rows of chairs could be made out now in their line of vision, and so could the one solitary audience member sitting front and center: (Y/N).

“That’s Sal’s sister!” Murr says with jubilation. You could watch the color completely drain from Sal and Q’s face.

“That’s right Sal, you have to look at your sister and your best friend as we ask all these questions and you have to hear the honest truth about it all no matter how dirty.” Sal was freaking out wanting to break free of the constraints that bound him to the chair. He was begging and pleading for anything else as the two winners of the episode were laughing at his fruitless pleas. Q had his face in his hands and his face was regaining its color in only a single shade. He was red as a fire engine knowing exactly where this was about to go. He lifted his head slightly to be met with the eyes of his lover. She sheepishly waved with a smile and he did the same.

“There’s no escaping or compromising a punishment Sal, you lost and this is what you get!” Sal had stopped thrashing and now had his eyes set on the ceiling staring off into nothing. “Let’s start with the first question!”

“Let’s start easy: Have you ever kissed her,” Q huffed as his eyebrows furrowed together. What a silly question, “With tongue?” And there was the searing bit and his expression was wiped clean off of his face.

~

It was early on in their dating days, they decided on a movie night at Q’s place. It was warm and cozy, intimate and serene. She had her head resting on his shoulder and his arm was wrapped around her, holding her in close so that he could be closer to each and every piece of her. Because they were together for only a short time at that moment, Q feared making moves as to not upset her and cause a rift between him and Sal. It was already hard enough getting Sal warmed up to them, it would make things worse if he accidentally made a move she wasn’t comfortable with and Sal would have even more reason to disapprove of what they had going on. So while he seemed relaxed, he was actually freaking out on the inside.

That’s when their eyes locked on each other, her hand was placed gently on his cheek as she smiled and started inching in closer. Her hand was moving in closer and he went with it, seeing as all the signals were there and he was given the green light. Their lips met and he could taste the popcorn on her lips, he went in for another, and another. She felt addicting, he loved it and wanted more. That’s when her tongue traced along his lips, he hesitated.

“Don’t be so stiff B. I know you want more.” She whispered against his lips. She was right, that’s when things started getting heated. He brought her onto his lap, she was then straddling him and their lips met with each other once again, parted and allowed their tongues to intertwine. He could taste her so much better and he knew he was in deep.

The rest of that evening was truly memorable.

~

“Y-yes.” He answered honestly.

“He’s telling the truth.” The polygraph reader spoke as he watched the readings carefully. Sal’s face contorted in disgust as laughter echoed through the theatre.

“Next question: Have you done it on Sal’s bed or in his house?” Q squeezes his eyes shut.

“Brian I swear, you better think long and hard about how you answer this. You have house sat for me many times. If you say yes.”

~

Sal was away on a comedy tour and to go visit his mom. Q was handed the responsibility to watch over his house and make sure that everything was kept clean. Sal stated that he didn’t mind if he stayed the night at his place if he ever drank or if he just felt like it, so long as everything was kept in proper order when he came back. That much Q could do. He never said anything about his girlfriend being over as well.

It started as it always did: chilling out in the living room. They were playing Mario Kart together and the competition was getting heated. Nothing made Q happier than having a girlfriend he could play video games with, especially competitively. Both of them already started playing a little dirty, bumping each other playfully, blocking their view of the screen during important jumps, and so on. They were having the time of their life until she took things a step further.

As they were on their second lap, she sat on Q’s lap and started circling her hips. Q had a hard time focusing on the screen now that something else began to catch his interest. She kept going and she could feel him starting to grow hard under her. He bit his lip to not moan and show weakness and focused as much of his attention on the screen as best as he could.

“(Y/N). T-that’s cheating. You play… Dirty.” She had her eyes on the screen and now added noises as she gyrated her hips.

In the end, Q crossed the finish line first and ended up winning.

“Well, B. Looks like you won.” She said with a devilish smirk on her face, “I guess you’ve earned yourself a prize.” She slithers down to her knees and settles between Q’s legs as he sits on the couch. She pulls down his pants along with his boxers as his member throbs in front of her eyes. Q’s lips are already parted as his breath hitches at the sight before him. She licks her lips and immediately takes him as far into her mouth as she could. He lets out a low groan as his eyes close to take in the sensation.

“Fucking hell baby.” He says as his hand goes to the back of her head as his hips start to work and fuck her mouth. He was already aching for release as she was grinding against him, so his inevitable end was already building up like a skyscraper. “(Y/N). Sweetheart. God. You’re gonna make me cum.” He was at the edge of absolute euphoria, he had control of her as he tangled his hand in her hair and guided her faster up and down his cock until he shoved her down and released in her mouth. “Swallow.” He commanded, and she did exactly that. All evidence of his climax gone. He pulls her up for a kiss before lifting her and allowing his feet to carry them to where he would now be staying for the night: Sal’s room.

~

“Do I really have to answer this one?” Q asked as he began sweating profusely as he remembered each sensation pertaining to his answer.

“Hurry up and answer! You’ve never had problems talking about your sex life before tough guy.” Joe criticizes.

“No.” A blatant lie and they all probably knew. This answer was proven false after the polygraph interpreter stated so. Sal was glaring at Q and Q dared not make eye contact at that moment.

“You guys have ravaged my house for a punishment before, but SEX in MY HOUSE?!?! Not only that but WITH MY SISTER?!” Q wanted nothing more than just to disappear.

“Next question. Oh this one's good!” Q closed his eyes again, bracing himself for the next question, “Had she ever called you daddy?” His cheeks felt like they were on fire now. “Not like how you refer to yourself when talking about your cats either. You know exactly how we mean it.”

~

The room was filled with the sounds of the bed frame squeaking and moans eliciting from open mouths along with steamy breath that stuck to their skin. Q was thrusting his hips roughly into her as she raked her nails down his back, leaving her own mark on him.

“You like that baby? Like when I fuck you hard?”

“Yes! Yes!” Her words felt like they were being forced out of her with each snap of his hips as he hit just the right spots to drive her crazy.

“Yes, what?” He asked her as he slowed to an agonizing pace. She wrapped her legs around him to try and speed things up, bringing him in closer despite knowing it wouldn’t do anything until that one word was uttered. “C’mon (Y/N). Let me hear it. Yes, what?” His hot breath fell in her ear and sent chills through her and she could feel her clit throb as she bit her lip and moaned at the authoritative tone.

“Yes daddy.” His hips picked right back up as the familiar sound of skin on skin began to echo once again in the room. “Fuck I love it when you fuck me like this. Harder. Please, daddy.” Each time she said it, it brought him closer and closer to climax.

“God I love when you call me that sweetheart.” He licked his thumb and began rubbing circles around her clit as he continued working his hips against hers. Whining as she felt her climax begin to wash over her, Q wasn’t that far behind as he began to grunt and moan with each thrust as he felt her tremble beneath him. “Gonna cum baby, you’re so perfect.”

~

Q wondered if the air conditioning in the place was even on. If it was, they needed to crank it if not his shirt was sure to be drenched in sweat by the time this punishment was over.

“Uuuh.”

“Not an answer buddy.” Q really didn’t want to answer this. He could feel Sal’s gaze boring holes into him. He knew how his best friend felt about his relationship which is why he never said a thing about their sex life like he had with previous relationships. He respected Sal that way and always made sure to treat his sister well. But the pickle he was in now was making this dynamic extremely difficult.

“I uuh.” He was choking on words. There was no sense in lying, but maybe, just maybe if he believed hard enough he could trick the lie detector into believing he was telling the truth. He took a breath, said over and over in his head that he was telling the truth, steadied himself, and “no.” He tried saying it with honest conviction.

“A lie.” Yup. He definitely wanted to crawl in a hole now. All three of the other men were hollering at the answer. Q looked at (Y/N) and she was just as red as he was but she was laughing. He wasn’t sure how she could be laughing at this moment, but for some reason it put him slightly at ease knowing that this wasn’t torture for her like it was for him.

“Okay last question Q.” Sal had been mostly silent for the last few minutes and Q just knew that Sal wanted him dead or something else. He was lucky there were restraints holding him back because god knows what would have happened if he wasn’t. Q was mentally bracing himself for something absolutely revolting that he would have to answer for, something that would really make Sal lose his mind. Dildos, sneaking off on tour together to have sex, road head, he was ready to answer for it and face the consequences. “Do you love her?”

~

It was early in the morning and sun peered through the windows of his house. As he opened his eyes, there she was. Her eyes closed and her breathing steady, all the cats were curled up around her and all were surprisingly still asleep as well. She was dreaming and he knew it. Seeing her so peacefully asleep made him happy. It wasn’t only that. It was knowing she was happily asleep in his bed, next to him that made his heart flutter and burst with joy. Waking up and seeing her was unlike anything he’s ever felt.

He crawled out of bed carefully. In the kitchen he began to cook up some breakfast for them and also to feed the needy little kittens. As he was at the stove, he heard her shuffle in. He looked over his shoulder and saw her, eyes hooded and still half asleep, a little smile tugging at her lips, hair covering most of her face. She was just the most beautiful person ever and he couldn’t think otherwise.

“Morning sunshine.” He says with a smile on his face, voice still groggy from waking up.

“Mornin’ B.” She made her way over and hugged him from behind, leaning on him as she closed her eyes, inhaling deeply smelling his morning musk and the food that was cooking. “Smells so good.” She mumbled. His heart was just exploding and he couldn’t stop smiling.

As they ate breakfast, she spoke most of the time and that was just how he liked it. He never tired of her voice, never tired of hearing her talk, never tired of being around her. She noticed the dopey look on his face as she spoke and she stopped and gave him a bit of a side glance and a smile.

“What’s with you this morning Bri? You’ve been acting all mushy. Not that I'm complaining or this is out of the ordinary.”

“I just like hearing you talk.” He said truthfully. “And it’s just–”

~

“–I love her.” He spoke with a smile on his face. “I really do. No doubt about that. There’s no one else I've been more in love with than her. Every part of her. Good and bad. I love her.” He looked her in her eyes, recalling each countless moment they’ve had with each other. Every time he was around her, he felt like a high schooler again. So bashful, so in love, hopelessly so. There was no one else for him.

“It’s all true.” The polygraph reader spoke with a smile. Sal looked at Q, then looked at his sister and saw them just entranced with each other. Hearing everything Q had to say was true made his anger quickly slide away. He wanted his friend to be happy, he couldn’t keep them apart. Despite thinking this was an absolutely terrible idea at the start, perhaps this changed things.

“That’s it Q. Interrogations over.” Both men were released from their punishment prisons and were left to face each other.

“So. You really love her, huh?” Q smirked as he felt the butterflies thinking about her again.

“More than you could imagine.” He said with confidence. He felt her arms wrap around him and he turned around to see her eyes sparkling like constellations at midnight. He wrapped his arms around her tight and gave her a kiss.

“Listen, I know i’ve been hard on you Q. Just protective of my sister y’know?”

“I get it, Sal. But I can promise you wholeheartedly that I’d never do anything to hurt her ever.”

“Might wanna hook him up to the lie detector again.” Joe said as he walked by. Q rolled his eyes.

“I know. I just want you to promise one other thing.”

“Anything.” Q leaned in attentively.

“I never wanna hear anything about your sex life ever again.” (Y/N) snickered as Q felt his face heating up in shame again.

“Deal.”

[dreamrecorder]

Ok so- idk if you’ve seen demon slayer;; but there’s this episode (it was during the spider fambam arc) aNywaYs- so like. Rui yeets ties* (i guess-) Nezuko like. Up in the air. With his weird spider thread jazz— and like. It’s sHarP weird spider thread jazz— so she’s like. Yknow. Being sliced and diced with string— but it kindaaa reminds me of like. Xiao. And his like.... weird... sad.... uh. Karma. Thing. Like y’know where he’s like hanging from his arms- red stuff. Yeah. So like. Now for the actual request

Xiao’s s/o (female if you don’t mind;;) gets kidnapped by like— the fatui or smth. And they tie her up like Nezuko :D to be like “lol haha Xiao be all like-” and she’s just. Like. Dying. Slowly. Dripping b l o o d and yknow. All the tea. And Xiao comes to rescue her— and he’s like 0-0 “wait...” and he realizes that’s like- exactly what happens to him- and so. He beats the fatui’s butts saves his s/o, anddddd she like.

Idk. This is where I need your angst expertise ❤️ like- she could d i e. In his arms. And poor Xiao would be so scarred omg poor thing- BUT THE ANGST- but at the same time;;;; the f l u f f of him being able to save her just in time and she was like fighting for him the whole time or whatever and ended up needing him to save her anyways- and then Xiao feeding her almond tofu until she gets better ❤️❤️❤️

IM SORRY THAT WAS SO LONG- im probably going crazy from lack of sleep from reading fics for too long sndndnsnsj

But if you do this,,, BLESS YOUR SOUL I HOPE TO EITHER BALL MY EYES OUT OR SQUEAL FROM THE WHOLESOMENESS-

Anyways.... thank you! Have a stellar day~ ✨❤️

The heart yearns and the wind heard

lmao this ask is so adorable i hope you’d enjoy this ksks

anyway, full Angst train up ahead but there are moments of Fluff too. There are mentions of blood and violence if those are not your thing- dont worry guys, this goes with a happy ending cos you and Xiao deserve one~ on a final note- non canon compliant and suuuuuuper long- like- legit this is very long

The Yaksha sighs.

He’s here again. His mind and heart has returned his being into this crimson world his demons have created within him.

He feels it. He feels the corruption binding him tighter again for every death he brings by his tainted hands.

He looks at his bindings. And ever so slowly, the red and black coiling around his person will eventually reach his heart.

One day, he thinks, all this crimson and black in this world will swallow him whole and he will see the light no more.

Xiao sighs again.

This is his karmic debt.

~

The moment you stepped foot within Wangshu Inn, you knew he was in his prison again. After giving a quick greeting to the inn keeper, you hastily went to Xiao’s room. The closer you got, the heavier the atmosphere became.

You reached his door and knocked softly. As expected, no reply as he continues to struggle to take back his control over himself. Without hesitation, you stepped in. To anyone else, they would have instantly met his spear at their throats, but with you, this doesn’t happen. Instead, you see him crouched on the wooden floor with a hand on his chest. His knuckles were white and his breathing was ragged. His amber eyes- lost. Observing his form, yes… his moments of corruption are becoming progressively worse.

With swift steps of familiarity to this routine, you went to him and grasped his shoulders.

“Xiao, it’s me…” You whispered with clarity. And oh- how your voice brought a wave of comfort to his soul.

“N-name…” His voice cracked, but him calling to you is always a good sign.

You gave him a small smile and proceeded to grasp his hands together with yours. After which, you then leaned your forehead to his to chant your prayers. As your prayers progressed, slowly but surely, the corruption begins to fade along with the black mist that covered him. However, you took note how this ritual took longer than the last.

Once everything is done, Xiao just slumped onto your shoulders, still breathing deeply. “How are you feeling?” It was a useless question you asked every time this happens, but you always, always, have to make sure.

Usually, he would mutter a small ‘fine,’ but now- words seemed to have left his mind and all he could muster was an almost-unnoticeable shrug.

Truth be told- his response disheartened you, but you did not show it. Instead, you opted to simply encase him in your arms and caress his hair. After all, these are just one of the few, rare moments Xiao would leave himself into your care. Xiao is aware, himself, that his state has been becoming worse and worse. And you both know, that a day would come when he would just attack anyone- friend or foe- without a trace of hesitation. So, just this time- he speaks his feelings.

“Name?”

You answered immediately with a questioning hum.

“What would you do… when I finally lose control over myself?”

It was very subtle, but he felt how your hand stopped caressing his hair for a second, then proceeded to the previous task at hand again. In all honestly, you can never find yourself having an answer to that question. “And why would I ever let that happen to you?” You questioned back, fully aware that you were dodging his question.

Silence surrounded the two of you, unsure on what to do with the sudden heavier atmosphere.

Not wanting to face the cruelty of the world yet, Xiao simply buried himself on the crook of your neck even more. And despite the ghostly sensation of his lips on your skin, you could feel him mouth the words ‘I love you.’

“As long as I’m here,” you whispered, “nothing can hurt you.” And that was the most beautiful lie that the Yaksha has heard, but he was willing to believe all the same.

~

When word about Fatui diplomats starting a bank reached you, there was a nagging feeling in your head that trouble would bring itself present anytime soon. It was like an itch that wouldn’t get away. And the only way to have that itch gone is to scratch it.

“You are absolutely a fool.” Xiao stated darkly with crossed arms, for once disagreeing with the plans of his master.

“We can never know what their intentions are unless we let them start their bank, no?” Zhongli said as he gazed at the marsh spread beneath him.

The Yaksha only scoffed but said no more.

Building up your courage, you deemed it was your turn to voice out your thoughts, “Um… Rex Lapis, I see your point, but wouldn’t it be best to resolve the problem before it persists into something larger? We all know- All of Teyvat knows, that the Fatui are not to be trusted.”

Your archon offered you a kind smile, “I understand your worries, Name. However, as of the moment, they have not presented themselves as such. If they truly are our enemies, then it would be beneficial for us to know their intentions.”

You frowned deeply at his statement. Seeing you do so, somehow, your archon immediately identified your main concern.

“Is this about the Tianquan assigning you to be her representative for the Fatui?”

The moment those words left his mouth, a growl tore from Xiao’s throat, but he held his tongue.

“Did Ganyu tell you?”

The Archon nodded and you sighed.

“I volunteered, actually.”

And at that point, Xiao vanished into thin hair, but you could still his sense his presence around.

“May I know why?” Zhongli questioned gently.

For a moment, you struggled for words. You didn’t know how to describe this ‘itch’ to him. “At first, it was supposed to be Ganyu, since in the Tianquan’s eyes- Ganyu is an adeptus and she does not know that I am, too. Perhaps she didn’t want to put me in harm’s way, a ‘visionless human’ at the side of a harbinger. After some convincing to Ningguang for my volunteering, I spoke to Ganyu next.

“The adepti are divine beings that walk here in Liyue. I had this feeling that putting a divine next to a power-hungry harbinger would become an issue. I told Ganyu that, since I looked ‘harmless’ and ‘ordinary,’ the harbinger’s interest about the divine would never surface.”

A stretch of silence wrapped around them as Zhongli pondered over your words. “Perhaps, are you also planning to dig out the truth of their arrival?”

You nodded, “I knew you would allow them to stay, so I just took it upon myself to unfurl their secrets.”

“Hmmm… I grant you permission on doing this. However, should trouble arise, do not hesitate to tell us.”

~

The glare pointed at you was strong. Even without him saying a single word, you could hear his phantom voice in your head speak with such coldness, What are you thinking?

You simply gave him a reassuring smile, “I’ll be fine, Xiao. I may be a human in mortal eyes, but please do remember that I am also an adeptus, no matter how weak I am.”

Xiao releases a huff, but still sits by your side at the floor of the balcony, letting the moon kiss his skin. “You’re not weak.” He mumbled as he snaked his hand to yours.

To him, you will never be weak. In fact, you were the strongest being he has ever laid his eyes on. Not physically, no. It was you mental and emotional fortitude. Back during the Archon War, he always admired how you kept your head held up high no matter the suffering you have experienced. No matter how much death surrounded you, you still fought. And that strength made you a survivor. During the war, you never failed to help the wounded. Even when someone dies under your care, you held strong for the departed and for those who are left behind. You were a pillar of hope.

He brings your hand to his lips and kisses every knuckle “… Just be careful. If ever you are in trouble do not-“

“Hesitate to call your name.” You finished, beaming at his words.

~

As someone who used to be a healer and a doctor, you were quite familiar with several mild skin diseases that mortals can suffer from.

If there is an itch, you do not scratch it- for you will only aggravate the area even more.

Now that you’re working alongside the Fatui as the Tianquan’s representative, the itch you kept feeling was only irritated more. Especially whenever you spoke with the Harbinger who goes by the name Childe. And since your work requires you to cooperate with him, you also don’t miss the chance to discover what he hides, should the opportunity presents itself.

Childe… his azure eyes certainly have their… charm to those unaware. However, you knew better. You know he’s capable of drowning you just by his eyes. While he may be a cheerful man, his eyes lack the lustre of joy. The eyes are the windows of the soul, yes? If so, all you see is an unending ocean that you do not want to swim in. The surface may be calm, but the deep is relentless. However, duty bound you are- deep within the ocean, you shall find the secrets the Fatui hides.

Again, another scratch to the itch, but it only irritates you more.

~ 

The news of Rex Lapis’s death became the catalyst of you confronting the Harbinger. From Yujeng Terrace all the way to Northland Bank, you ran (with Ningguang’s permission of course). Before you can even open the door to his office, something caught your eye.

It’s faint, but you’re an adeptus. You sensed elemental traces, just smack bang at the middle of the door. You carefully scrutinized the tracings, and fortunately you knew Snezhnayan script. And what you read only made your heart sink.

It’s ready.

With the adeptal arts, you managed to uncover the origins of these elemental tracings.

Scratch.

Without hesitation, you followed these tracings until it led you into some ruins.

Scratch.

Following the tracings further, you find yourself in a dimly lit room. Wary, you summoned your weapon imbued with your element.

Scratch.

Searching the room, you came across several antique boxes. You opened them.

Scratch.

What you saw were familiar. Too familiar. Dimming the room more with your element, you find more Sigils of Permission hanging on the walls and on the ceilings. The energy within them were faint, but with enough numbers, it’s enough to kill a-

“Well, well well, I thought you’d be there mourning for your Archon. But here you are, snooping around someone else’s research material.”

The sound of his voice made you sharply turn your head to him, your stance now more offensive. “What are you planning?” You bit coldly.

The Harbinger hummed a small tune, “Nothing much… But! If you’re really curious, I guess I could tell you.” He hummed some more but you knew he’s not finished. Once he finished his tune, he grinned to you menacingly and the depths in his eyes became even deeper and darker, “After all, I won’t let you leave this place with you knowing my secret~”

~

There was this one time, Xiao struggled against himself so much, he scratched himself red so that he could anchor himself back to the real world. You remembered how much you cried as he slept in your arms. You never wanted to see him do that again. Seeing him hurt himself also hurt you, too. It was like a stab in the heart, then a twist, and twist some more. A slap in the reality that you might lose him one day.

As he slept, you solemnly observed the wounds he sustained himself to. They were angry red, just like blood.

Now, you, yourself scratched that itch in your head too much into a wound for blood to seep through. You scratched too much and now you have to bleed from it.

~

You were slipping in and out of consciousness. Sleep was tempting you more and more but you know you have to wake up. You were aware that this is going on for days.

Everything hurts. You remembered how his blades, imbued with the Sigils, weakened you thoroughly. Every slash he brought to your body just drained the energy away from you. But still you had to do something.

He wanted an adeptus- he wanted an adeptus in order for the Sigils to grow stronger both in number and in power.

Now here you are, bound by chains and suspended at the middle of this empty room. These chains were adorned by talismans that drained away your energy. You were bleeding from your wounds of your previous battle.

Drip. Drip. Drip goes the blood and pools on the ground underneath you. The ground, you barely noticed, was lined by Liyuean script which enacts the ritual of the Sigils draining your divine power from your blood.

To the eyes of a sadist- you were a picture perfect in a canvas. A dark room lined by the damned Sigils, glowing an eerie gold. Then there's you with your bloodied clothes and chains. The red pool underneath was casting a red glow on your way, giving you a red shade to your pale skin.

Everything hurts-

And everything was driving you mad.

You can also feel the Overlord of the Vortex feed from your energy through the Sigils. You sensed his lust for power and revenge. You felt his anger and the corruption within him. You felt his hatred and his want to bring death. For days that felt like years, you’ve been battling against that very same god in your head. This battle was not something you shall not lose to and failure is not an option. If you fail here, then Liyue will fall. 

This god- he was driving you mad slowly.

If ever you are in trouble, do not hesitate to call my-

You shut the thought from your head. You are not going to call him. You will not speak of him. You will not think of him. You will not call him. Not to this place where his corruption will grow. No. You Will Not Call Him.

If it means that me not calling you will keep you safe from the corrupted remnant of a god- so be it. 

Please

However, no matter how much you denied yourself to call his name, no matter how much your heart yearns to be with him- the wind does not ignore the pained sob that left your lips.

~

Ever since the news of Rex Lapis's death and the visit of the Traveler with a Sigil in his hand- the corruption within him just bloomed into something feral.

The Sigil- there was something wrong about it but Xiao doesn't know what is it that is wrong. Then there's you- where are you? Surely with the news of their Archon's death- it would send you to bring forth a meeting for the adepti to talk this over. But now- for days- you remain not by his side.

With you missing- the demons inside him are slowly taking control over him, taking advantage of his vulnerability for you. For each passing day, it was slow torture for him- The worry bubbling in him was consuming him. He glared at the Sigil between his fingers and not failing to notice how his dark aura covers him once more. 

“Traveler,” Xiao called sharply, “What is it you intend to do next?” 

To any mere mortal, the look his eyes held were enough to strike fear, but the Traveler stealed themselves- meeting the adeptus’s gaze with an equally serious calm. “I have my suspicions on a certain harbinger and I-”

“Where?” The Yaksha growled.

“In the Golden House.”

Without a word nor warning, Xiao placed a hand on the Traveler’s shoulder and teleported them to the place where the Exuvia is hidden.

To the Traveler, everything happened so quickly as one event led to another. One moment, they were standing among unconscious bodies of the Millelith then the next thing they knew a corrupted and demonic gust of wind flew them away to the side. Regaining back their vision, they could see Alatus’s spear now at Tartaglia’s barrier made of Sigils. 

Alatus narrowed his eyes at the floating talismans and began to calculate the flow of this incoming battle with precision and accuracy despite his losing control over himself. 

It was a tense minute of sizing each other up, but eventually, Tartaglia has broken the silence with his annoying innocent voice. 

“Who would have thought that I’d have the honor of fighting another adeptus of Liyue?” 

The question immediately fed the corruption within him, the dark aura exploding at it. He knew that he should not believe in the Harbinger’s words so easily, but the glint in the latter’s eyes held truth. You could be out there, hurting, scared, alone. You could be out there, bleeding out. You could be out there dyi-

His aura exploded once more at the thoughts spreading in his being. With a burst of unspeakable power, Alatus lifted his weapon and pierced the barrier once more, this time breaking it without failure. At the threat, Tartaglia backed away as he donned his mask.

In a similar fashion, Alatus, too donned his mask. “I will ask you once,” the Conqueror of Demons spoke with a deathly calm, “Where is she?”

~

He should have killed him then and there. But the call of the Overlord of the Vortex must not be ignored as it threatens Liyue. 

In the small opportunity of escape, Childe took it. But he was weak and injured as Alatus swiftly threw his spear to block his way and teleported right in front of him. In a show of power, the Conqueror of Demons lifted the mortal by the neck.

“I will ask you again, where is she?”

In fear, Childe told him everything and at his every word, Xiao listened carefully- never speaking once. But the anger within his heart, it boils- it rages. His amber eyes bored into Childe’s soul- thinking what he should do to this mortal. Oh how killing him would be so nice. However, when the Yaksha’s gaze landed on the regal form of the Exuvia, he merely threw the mortal in its way.

“Killing you would have been easier. However, the crimes you have presented against Liyue are not mine for me to judge.

I leave the Harbinger to you... Rex Lapis.”

Once out of the Golden House, the Overlord roared once more, shaking the lands of the nation. However, along with it, he heard the faintest of voices. I’m so sorry... I couldn’t hold him back anymore. 

Only then did the demons in his heart freely took control of him. Just like the stories of old, where the Yaksha walks, death follows. But they were no stories. In his way towards the ruins where you were held captive, every step he took brought carnage and even more death and blood to taint his hands. No Fatui will leave this place alive. The very being of destruction ended many lives. Each death, the demons were growing stronger.

All he wanted now was to kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill killkillkill killkill kill killkillkillkillkillkillkillkillkillkill

Then seeing you suspended in the ceiling and bound by chains. Blood was painted on your lifeless skin. Wounds were littered and bruises were blooming on your form. But most of all, your eyes. What were once full of life and hope- now empty and blank. His demons quieted down.

Broken. You were like a broken porcelain doll.

“N-name...” His voice cracked, not believing it all.

With haste, he quickly broke your binds and caught you in his arms. he was fast to check for your pulse and your breathing. And thank the Archons, you were breathing but barely. You were now walking the line between life and death. With all his might yet a gentle caress, he hugged you for dear life. “Name... It’s me...”

But still, your eyes still held no recognition and it shattered his heart to pieces. With further inspection, he sensed the presence within you. A corruption. A certain evil. 

“Name, stay with me please,” Xiao begged with desperation as he fought back tears. “It’s me who supposed to be the corrupted one between us, not you... I’m not allowing you to leave me, you hear me-”

With a ritual of the adeptal arts, he started purging and purifying the evil left by the god who fed from you. He is not letting you stay alone in your prison, not for a second longer. 

Xiao prays and he never prayed before. Even to his master. But just this once, He prays with desperation. You are the light in his darkness. You are the moon in his night. 

The ritual was a delicate process. For every word he spoke, he was rewarded by your screams of pain and the writhing of your fragile body. He wanted to stop, but he can’t. He had to physically restrain you from trying to escape from his embrace and from hurting yourself. And for every cry you released, Xiao merely shuts his eyes clos just for him not to see your pained eyes. Every now and then, Xiao speaks gentle apologies and words of encouragement for you. You were coming back. But still, the evil persists.

You writhed and scratched against him, until you were creating more wounds for blood to seep through. When it came to a point, you began pleading and begging for him to stop, that was when Xiao had shed a tear. So he continues the ritual, his prayers, and his apologies. They were arriving to a point where the ritual is reaching its conclusion but your screams only grew louder.

Please, just a little more...

Please, just stop...

Please...

The corruption disintegrated away from you in a forceful release of dark energy. He was breathing deeply, attempting to calm his loud heart. When he placed his gaze on you, you were breathing rapidly and your eyes were searching blindly and your hands were desperately holding onto him.

“X-Xiao...” You whispered, “Where am I? Where are you?”

With a sigh of relief, the Yaksha hugged you again closer and his forehead to yours, fearing you would go away again. The action made you lift your hands to his face, still searching blindly.

“I’m here, Name... I’m here.” At his voice, the dam in your eyes broke as you cried silently. Xiao was not adept in emotions, but for you, he will face them gladly. He lets you cry as he gives you soft whispers of assurance, safety, love, and promises. However, you were not crying because of what had happened to you. You were crying for him. After experiencing such corruption-

You sobbed some more- you were this close to him losing you and you could not bring yourself to imagine if your roles were reversed.

“P-please,” you said with a broken voice, “please don’t go to the place where I can’t follow...’

The words, at first puzzled him, but after a few moments, he realized and once more it broke his heart. Bringing you closer, Xiao let loose the tears he was holding back. With a gentleness unexpected of the Conqueror, he simply littered your face with kisses. “I promise if only you would do the same.”

With your smile that he loved dearly for so long you too spoke your promise, “I do.” They were simply two words, but the comfort they bring into the Yaksha’s heart was in volumes.

After that, you shared a few tender moments in each other’s arms. Simply relishing the feeling of their familiar warmth. A little later, Xiao spoke, “Would you like to eat some Almond Tofu once we get home?”

The question made you giggle at his innocence, so you agreed. Despite you needing physical medical attention. But Almond Tofu with him? Yes, you two definitely need some emotional healing.

A/N: fINALLY dONE lmao this was supposed to be short but angst really makes me want to write longer everytime haha~ anyway this request really made me ponder bout genshin stuff with all the corruption this and corruption that but then a question popped up like-

how did childe replicate the sigil of permission? since sigils are imbued with divine energy, i just thought how did this guy accumulate so much sigils to the point of freeing Osial- a god!!! soooo i just played with the idea for a bit then figured out maybe these pieces of paper get the divine energy from a divine source right? and the adepti are divine beings of liyue and another thing- you guys might have noticed the change of names in some scenes- i dont know but i think somehow different names represents different side of a person like- we have childe the cheerful harbinger then tartaglia the power hungry harbinger- there’s Alatus who’s calculating and cold, there’s the Conqueror of Demons who’s ruthless and unforgiving, then Xiao who is calm and humane- lastlyyyyy i might post this in ao3 ksks

[talatomaz]

lockdown | jj x fem!teen!reader

a/n: i can’t believe that a year ago today, the last ever episode of criminal minds aired. i miss jj so much 🤧

this is sort of in line with my own experiences (to a certain extent). and there’s not as much jj x d!r as i’d intended but I hope you still like it.

(feedback/positive comments are appreciated)

requested by @ouat2017 : “could you do a jj x daughter where the daughter’s school is on lockdown and jj is worried or something like that?”

warnings: gun violence. blood

word count: 2.6k

masterlist | request list | request rules

r is jj’s 18 year old adopted daughter and suddenly finds herself on lockdown after someone brings a gun into her school

i do not give you permission to repost or translate my fics on any platform - likes/reblogs are okay and are much appreciated

“Look, you’re the one that needs to be tutored so can you please focus?”

You huffed, crossing your arms over your chest in annoyance.

You were currently in the tutoring centre trying to help a self-absorbed jock pass English so he could remain on the school’s football team.

Looking around you, you saw a handful of students giving both you and Cameron - the man-child you were tutoring - disparaging looks.

“You’re not supposed to be yelling at me. You’re meant to be telling me the answers.”

The aforementioned narcissist leaned against his chair, smirking at you in a way that made you fight to hide a shudder.

You could have easily wiped the grin off his face by mentioning who your mother was and who she worked for but instead, you decided to just continue ignoring his advances and carry on teaching him.

“That’s not how this works, Cameron. Now either you listen to me or you fail and get kicked off the team. And quite frankly, I’d rather the latter happen.”

You watched as his brows furrowed in confusion. Sighing, you answered, “latter means the second thing of two things mentioned in a sentence. Now, for the love of God, just finish writing your paragraph on Heller's satire of capitalism in Catch-22.”

You let out a breath of relief when he finally relented and started to scribble on his sheet of paper. You glanced over at one of your friends, who was also tutoring for extra credit, and smiled when she rolled her eyes at Cameron’s actions.

Leaning against the large desk that stood at the front of the room, you relished in the long-awaited silence aside from hushed whispers that came from other students asking for help.

Taking out your phone, you glanced at the screen to see that it was only midday and soon the lunch bell would be ringing.

You smiled softly at your lock screen.

It was a photo of you and JJ, your adoptive mother.

It was taken a few weeks prior at your 18th birthday party. You’d been living with JJ for almost 5 years now; her having fostered you before later adopting you when you were 14.

You still didn’t know what she saw in you on that day you’d first met her - you’d lost your family in a home invasion, barely surviving yourself - but whatever it was, you were grateful because you’d gotten a second chance at life.

Several minutes passed and you’d only broken from your train of thought when you heard someone clearing their throat beside you.

Looking over your shoulder, you saw your friend, the one who’d rolled her eyes earlier at Cameron, standing beside you.

“I see you finally got him to do his work.” She whispered, loud enough for your ears only.

“Barely. He still has an essay to write and hasn’t even finished a paragraph yet.”

“I would have smacked his sorry ass by now.”

You laughed before clamping your hand over your mouth, her comment having caught you off guard.

“Ally!” You whisper-shouted, playfully hitting her arm.

She looked at you with a raised eyebrow causing you to smirk, “Trust me, I’ve thought about it but-”

Before you could finish your sentence, a large bang rang out, shattering the silence the room had once held.

With wide eyes, your head whipped to the door where the gunshot had presumably come from and you listened as the hallways were filled with panicked screams.

Running to the door, ignoring the gasps and shouts from the other students behind you, you turned the lock on the door, pulled down the blinds, switched off the lights and jammed a chair under the handle.

Looking up, you saw everyone had the same look of panic in their eyes; a few were crying, including Ally, and others were pale with shock, Cameron was one of them.

“Guys, we’re gonna be okay but we have to be quiet.” You whispered harshly, constantly looking over your shoulder at the door, listening for any indication of the shooter coming your way.

Everyone stared at you, as if you were the leader of a camp and they were small children awaiting for further instruction.

You supposed it wasn’t far off.

By taking charge, you were the one who’d been unwillingly given the role of protector.

“First things first,” you walked over to the group of 10 students, “I need you all to make sure your phones are on silent. We can’t risk being caught.”

You watched as everyone followed your instructions.

“I know you all want to call your parents but that’s going to attract attention to us so for right now, we need to be quiet.”

Your heart was beating out of your chest and as you spoke, one thought repeated in your head. JJ.

Taking out your phone, you scrolled to find your mother’s name in your contacts. You watched as your thumb hovered over her name.

Just breathe, y/n. Breathe.

Tapping your mother’s name, you brought the phone to your ear.

“I thought you said we couldn’t call anyone.”

Your eyes locked onto Cameron’s, his face pale and his eyes filled with terror and a hint of anger.

“My Mum works for the FBI.” You whispered as the phone rang out.

Any other time and you probably would have laughed at the way his face grew paler, if that was even possible. But, in a situation this tense, it was going to be difficult to find any levity.

Your Mum picked up on the second ring and you let out a shaky breath when you heard her voice.

“Hi baby. A bit early for your lunch, isn’t it?”

You closed your eyes at her soft tone, as if you were trying to engrave the way she spoke into your mind lest you would never hear it again.

From your lack of response, the blonde sensed there was something up, “Y/N? What’s wrong?”

A single tear dropped down your cheek as you struggled to maintain a steady tone. Catching a glimpse of Ally staring at you, you steeled yourself and spoke.

“Mum, you need to come quick. Someone’s brought a gun into school.”

“Oh my-AARON.”

You winced when you heard her shout for her boss, listening as you could hear her run up stairs. You held your breath as she filled Hotch in on what was happening before telling Garcia to hack into your school’s security system.

“Are you okay? Stupid question. But are you hurt?”

“Mum,” you interrupted her rambling, “I’m fine. I’m in the tutoring centre with 10 other people. I don’t know how many people are injured. It just all happened so fast.”

“It’s okay, baby. You’re gonna be okay.”

Though you could hear the clear panic in her voice, her words did bring some form of reassurance to you.

“Penelope’s hacking into the system so hopefully she can have eyes soon.”

As she spoke, you could hear the clacking of keys in the background of the call; presumably Garcia doing exactly what JJ said.

“Mum?” You questioned when you heard Garcia swear.

Instead of JJ answering, the usually peppy tech analyst replied, her voice shaky and wet, as if she was crying.

“Y/N, thank God you’re okay.”

“What’s wrong, Garcia?”

“Someone’s disabled the cameras remotely. I can only get them back online if someone reprograms them from the inside.”

Grasping what she was explaining, you nodded, “I’ll fix them.”

“What? No!”

Your mother had taken the phone off of Garcia.

“You are not leaving that room, y/n. We’ll find another way in.”

“Mum, someone needs to fix the system from inside the school. I need to do it.”

Ignoring your mother’s worried shouts, you continued to speak, “Mum, I have to. I love you.”

You disconnected the phone and switched it off, preventing her from being able to call you back.

“Y/N, you are not leaving this room.”

You’d only just realised that everyone had been watching you intently during that entire interaction.

“Yes, I am.”

Moving away from the huddle, you rose to your feet and replied to your friend.

Cameron rose to his feet and towered over you as he challenged you, “No, you are not. You’re going to put us in danger.”

“Do you know how to hack into our school’s security system and then reconnect the transformer and enter the Mastercode?”

His face contorted to a look of confusion making you reply,

“Exactly.”

Turning to leave, you felt a large hand enclose around your arm.

“I said, you’re not leaving.”

Your eyes flickered from Cameron’s hand up to his face that dared you to take another step.

“Remove your hand from my arm before I remove your hand from your body. You may letter in football but I’ve been trained by some of the best FBI agents there are and unless you want to end up in a sleeper hold, I suggest you shut up and do what I say for once.”

His harsh grip almost immediately lessened as his hand returned to his side.

“Good. Now, have any of you been shot? No? I didn’t think so. Well, I have and whoever did get shot is probably bleeding out in the hallway. I can’t not do anything.”

No one dared to respond and instead, shook their head ‘no’ at your asking if anyone else would try to stop you.

Content that you weren’t going to deal with any more unnecessary distractions, you made your way to the door and gently removed the chair that was beneath the handle.

“Ally, you’re in charge. Lock the door when I leave. By my count, the FBI will be here soon. And Cameron, you do anything stupid and I’ll shoot you myself.”

Unlocking the door, you stepped out into the empty hallway and hastily made your way to where the main security hub was located.

Just a couple of hours ago, all you had wished for was silence but now that your wish had been granted, all you wanted was to hear the playful shouts and conversations between your friends and fellow students.

The silence that currently fell on your school was unnerving and unbearable. And with each step you took, you flinched at the sound your shoes made against the marble floor. Each noise practically acting as a beacon for the shooter to come find you.

You let out a sigh of relief when you found the Hub and you quickly worked to reconnect the security system. Typing on the laptop that rested atop one of the servers, you couldn’t help the smile that formed when all the cameras re-engaged.

Tapping on one of the keys, you navigated through the various cameras, looking for any indication of the shooter or of any injured people. You stopped when you caught a glimpse of someone.

Squinting at the screen, you saw, what appeared to be a freshman - since you didn’t recognise him as being a part of your year - laying on the ground, a hand clutching his stomach as blood coated his clothing.

Immediately knowing where he was, you cautiously made your way to the east hallway before running when you noticed him laying on the ground, his blood coating the once-white marble floor.

Falling to your knees, you pressed your hands against his wound, trying to stop the steady flow. He groaned out in pain, tears staining his face.

“H-Help me.” He choked out.

“What’s your name?”

“Jackson. But everyone c-calls me J-Jack.”

“Jack, you’re going to be okay. I just need you stay with me, okay? I’m-”

“Y/N.”

You failed to hide the surprise from your face making the younger teen smile despite his predicament.

“You’re t-tutoring Cameron. Everyone knows who you are. Y-You’re the one who doesn’t take any of his shit. I think h-he likes you.”

“Well, tough shit for him. I may be bi but he’s definitely not my type.”

Jack’s laugh quickly turned into another groan of pain.

Unzipping your jacket with one hand, you used the other to keep pressure on his wound. After removing the jacket, you harshly pressed it against his torso and watched as it barely absorbed the blood.

“I’m gonna die, aren’t I?”

“No, you’re not. I won’t let you.” You said, tears filling in your eyes as memories rushed back of when you tried to save your brother after he’d been shot.

“You’re going to be okay. I just need you to-”

You stilled when you heard footsteps come up behind you.

“Well, what do we have here?”

You didn’t recognise the voice and couldn’t bring yourself to turn around to face the person who’d caused all this pain.

You opened your mouth before closing it again, unsure of what to say.

Closing your eyes, you readied yourself for your inevitable death when a shot rang out and a body slumped to the ground beside you.

Jumping at the action, you turned around and almost collapsed in relief at what you saw. Your Mum and her team stood behind you with several SWAT members flanking them.

The tears that had once filled your eyes now spilled shamelessly down your cheeks.

Without saying a word, JJ holstered her gun and ran to your side, hugging you as best she could since your hands were still pressed against Jack’s wound.

Paramedics soon followed and after that it was all a blur. It was as if you were floating outside of your body. Logically, you knew it was the effects of an adrenaline crash but you felt so disconnected from your body.

You barely took note as your mother gently lifted you to your feet, allowing you to be briefly looked over by the paramedics. Nor as your mother escorted you to one of the school bathrooms where she rinsed the blood off your hands.

You didn’t even say a word until you’d arrived back at the BAU where a worried Penelope wrapped you in a tight hug which you returned.

“I’m gonna take her up to my old office, Hotch.”

The Unit Chief simply nodded as he and the rest of the team watched as JJ led you to the abandoned office that was still filled with random case files.

Closing the door, she sat you down on her sofa and stared at you, not touching you in fear that even a simple caress would cause you to shatter.

You exhaled a long breath before finally speaking, “I’m sorry.”

Her brows narrowed, “Sorry? Sweetheart, why?”

You looked at your hands that had been coated in blood less than an hour before and then up at your mother; her blue eyes filled with nothing but concern, love and confusion.

“You told me not to leave and I did. I’m sorry.”

And with that, you started to cry heart-wrenching sobs that made your shoulders shake.

JJ gathered you in her arms, gently rocking you as her long blonde hair draped over you.

“It’s okay, y/n. I got you, baby. You’re safe now.”

Her arms wrapped tightly around you as she laid soft kisses on your head, her hand stroking your back.

That only served to make you burrow into her even more, seeking comfort in her motherly embrace.

You muttered your apologies as she continued to reassure you that you were okay.

JJ was afraid that if she stopped, you wouldn’t be here, safe in her arms.

Still rocking you in her arms, she whispered in your ear,

“I got you, baby. You’re safe now.”