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#whenever i try to forget a bad memory my hands usually are the ones that spasm like shaking an etch a sketch
onebookcharacter · 2 years
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bad mental health ramble in the tags don't mind me
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r3starttt · 6 months
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Rockstar gf! Ellie
a/n: i imagine her as a mix of girl in red and mitski(hot). As usual, reblog if you like <3 I’d really appreciate it tyyyy
Warnings: none, just a few mentions of making out
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She would start the band after one girl told her that she should sing more often because her voice was nice. Later she found out that girl was straight and just being nice to her, but it was way toooo late because she had already convinced Dina and Jesse.
Her band started like shit, no fame, no much attention, no anything. That was until they performed at a bar and some girls started to fangirl because ellie is hot af. They went super viral on tik tok and eventually became super super famous and loved ofc.
She’d make you live lots of y/n moments. Making a lot of songs about you, asking you to go on stage with her, singing to you whenever you go to her shows. And ofc girlies are jealous of you, though they’re really nice, no toxic fans mostly :) ellie makes sure of that.
She’d go on stage with those t shirts that have messages like “I love my gf”. Her social media would be full with posts of you and the band ofc. She would be pretty active on tik tok and twitter as well and would interact a lot with the fans.
She loves acting all hot on stage, give the fans what they want yk. But backstage and mostly with you she’s such a baby, somehow no one knows how she used to be high school and thank god because that’s the real Ellie, the one that’s such a loser with the girls, the one that’s a nerd, the one that loves being babied and all that cheesy shit.
It’s almost a ritual, every time before she goes on stage she ends up making out with you, and after shows as well because she has so much energy she needs to take it out somehow right?. Lots of teasing, definitely loves scissoring (rough) and fingering ofc. One of the first things she did when money started to appear was definitely buying a strap so… yeah.
Adores spoiling you, a lot. She’d buy anything you want whenever you ask for it, she’d try her best to put attention when you go shopping to see what you like, even though most of the times she forgets until you talk to her about it or she sees it online.
She has such a bad memory so she definitely forgets the lyrics of her songs and just leans the microphone to the public. Also falls a lot on stage. You always make fun of her and she gets mad until she’s not and then she apologizes for being so moody.
She calls you wife, her fans call you her wife. She makes sure everyone knows about you and always finds a way to mention about her beautiful gorgeous hot gf.
She does a lot of lives before or after her shows, you’re always there and again, she lets everyone know you’re there.
She always plays guitar to you, always. As in ken to Barbie. And yes you find it a little bit too much but also don’t care cause you get an amazing view of her hands and her tattoo fully displayed and it’s hot.
Her tattoo, god. Everyone loves her tattoo, it became such an iconic thing between shappic community and again, it helped with the fame because it got viral everywhere, hot.
She desperate needs you on every show, she’ll beg you to go and gets sad when you can’t go. On her first tour she couldn’t stop thinking and talking about you with Dina and Jesse so they begged you to call her cause she’s to shy to ask herself, which is weird considering she can’t stop sending you audios and messages and photos of her in the most hot angles with the most hot clothes ever just to tease you.
Every time she gets back from tour or sees you after a show you couldn’t attend to she’d be extremely touchy and needy and would not leave you alone. Lots of calls and texts and definitely audios.
—————
So sad she’s not real 😡
Also here’s an abby one :)))
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hansensgirl · 6 months
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summary | Your captor’s one wish is to get you to remember when he first saved you.
prompts. | Steve Rogers + Yandere + “You know what I hate more than broken promises? Liars.” + Kidnapping, requested by @vellicore.
pairing. | dark/yandere!Steve Rogers x fem!reader.
warnings. | NON/DUBCON, kidnapping, mention of murder (not reader), captivity, delusion, lying, angry steve, steve and reader argue, pet names, and more. 18+ MINORS DNI!
author’s note. | this is a part of my Dark Concepts (2023) request form. thank you for taking part in this event! please enjoy and don’t forget to reblog. MINORS DNI, 18+ ONLY! taglist: @hansensfics. (i might turn this into a full fic... who knows!)
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You stare outside the window, watching pigeons walk around, fighting over a piece of bread Steve threw for them this morning. 
The glass is bulletproof, and he even added vibranium bars, making sure you really don’t have a chance of escaping. 
“Honey? Are you at the door?” Steve asks, and you turn around. The dress you wear is something that tries to emulate a woman from his time. You can see the little opening he uses to communicate with you, a slider keeping it closed whenever it’s not in use. “No,” you force out, and he sighs.
He closes the opening, and you can hear him slamming about on the other side, undoing all the chains, locks, and bolts he uses to keep you locked up. Eventually, Steve enters the room with a cup of coffee, and you can tell it’s just the way you like it.
Your kidnapper sets it on your bedside table and shuts the door behind him, staring at you the entire time. “I was thinking we could talk… over coffee,” Steve says, gesturing to the cup he just brought. You fold your arms defensively and square your shoulders, trying to appear strong. 
Captain America just smiles at you affectionately. “You’re so cute, sweetheart.”
You sit down on your bed, and Steve joins you, sitting right next to you. You grimace and shift away from him as best as you can, and he frowns. 
“Don’t do that, honey. It’s not nice. You promised you’d be good,” he tells you, and you roll your eyes. “And I should be nice to you? Good for you?” you scoff. “Of course you should. After everything I’ve done for you,” Steve sighs, placing a large hand on your smaller one. 
“What have you done for me, hm? All I know is that you protect the world from bad guys, and I thank you for that, but you also kidnapped me!” you reason, voice getting louder with each word. Steve winces at your tone. “I didn’t kidnap you. I saved you, just like all those years ago.” He’s referred to that moment numerous times, but you swear to him that you don’t remember anything. Destruction has become a norm in your world—he’s just one saviour out of the many. 
“Sweetie, think hard. Remember when you were stuck in that building? And HYDRA agents were storming it?” he asks, trying to jog your memory. You hesitantly shake your head, and he sighs. Steve’s jaw clenches in anger, and you see something flash in his usually gentle but tired eyes.
“You know what I hate more than broken promises? Liars,” he seethes, standing up. “You don’t get it, do you? I love you—I love you so fucking much. I’ve killed for you. I’ve kept you safe,” he continues, standing up. Steve’s face is contorted in anger as he spits out each word. 
You have nothing to say to him, but you don’t appreciate the way he’s yelling—the way he kidnapped you and pretends everything is how it should be. 
“Fuck you, Steve. I could never love you. You’re a monster,” you retaliate, and he nearly growls. “A monster? A monster wouldn’t feel the way I do. A monster wouldn’t care for you this way,” Steve continues, and his chest puffs up.
“You’re right. A monster would let me go. They’re merciful. You’re much worse than that, Steve Rogers,” you say, and you turn your back to him. He lingers for a few moments before storming out. 
You can hear Steve putting on the locks and chains again, and then the slider opens. You’re sure he’s watching you, perhaps waiting for an apology, but that’ll never happen. 
Steve Rogers has you trapped in a nightmare, though he tells you it’s a dream. You don’t recall being locked up in your dreams, but you do recall the golden-haired man who saved your life, just as he said. 
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zaceouiswriting · 8 months
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The scumbag jock boyfriend
Characters: Reggie Mantle x Archie Andrews x male reader
Universe: Somewhere in Riverdale
Warnings: Smutty, cheating
Sweat drips down my body as I wait. My patience quickly wears thin as I stand in the same place for over an hour. What is he doing? Did he forget again that we had a date? When I look at my phone, I see I have no reception.
Pissed off because most of my clothes are soaked with sweat, I huff. I angrily stuff the blanket back into the basket along with the food - I had prepared around dawn, which is definitely bad now. I couldn't hide my disappointment. With everything packed, I leave the clearing in the forest near the sweetwater river where we created our little romantic space when we were just kids in love.
I can't believe he completely stood me up this time. He usually arrives a little later since he always has a reminder on his phone. The only thing I can do is to go to his house. So I do exactly that, with my anger rising by the second.
As soon as I get to his house, I knock on the front door, but even after pounding several times, I don't hear any sound inside. I look around. In front of the garage, I could see Reggie's car but not his parents. Even more annoyed, I walk around, trying to find a way in. The front door did not open, so I go over to the windows, but they wouldn't open either, and even the garage door wouldn't move. I knock on the front door again. Involuntarily, my eyes fall on the keyhole. Suddenly, I realized something. I silently curse myself for my forgetfulness. I reach into my pocket and pull out the key Reggie gave me so I can enter whenever I want since his parents aren't home often.
It didn't take more than one step inside before I could hear a sound that couldn't be misinterpreted.
“That asshole!” I mutter angrily.
Following the sounds, I'm confronted with the bedroom door I've sneaked into hundreds of times when I couldn't sleep: a plain white door made of solid wood with a nameplate beneath a drawn football. Even now, it looks adorable. But the noise quickly takes me away from the beautiful memories that Reggie and I have built over the years of our relationship, which was initially secret and later public.
As I pull the door open, I could see Reggie and Archie, of all people, lie on the former's bed, their pants at their ankles, and Archie has his shirt behind his back, showing off his abs. Both have the other's thick, long cock in their hands.
To my annoyance, Reggie takes a moment too long to realize what a mess he's gotten himself into. I'd be lying if I said it didn't turn me on, in particular, because I know that neither would ever give their ass up for the other or any guy. I quickly realized what it is really about.
When I look over at Reggie, he's already trying to hide with his blanket and even a pillow I usually use for sleeping. He must have seen the anger on my face and is rightly afraid of my reaction.
“Cut the shit, Reggie. We both know, maybe even all three of us know, what that is. What’s wrong with you?” I ask him rhetorically. “Just because I said ‘no’ to a threesome? Do you think this will change my mind?”
Like a fish out of water, Reggie opens his mouth without making a sound. His head is getting redder by the second, probably out of embarrassment. Meanwhile, Archie just sits next to Reggie, showing off his great body and magnificent big member, which is almost as large as Reggie's. He flexes his muscles, making it obvious that he's involved.
"Please, we can just forget about this and-"
Before he can say anything else, I interrupt him by saying, "Archie, go against the headboard, arms over your head."
He moves without question, his eyes glistening with growing lust. I pull my belt out of my pants, walk over to Archie, straddle him, and press his member against my dressed leg, making him moan involuntarily. I tie his hands tightly together. As I look into his eyes, I place my hand on his cheek and my thumb on his bottom lip. I can see his desire for a kiss, and I'm not willing to deny him this wish. I lean in and kiss him softly. But he obviously didn't want any loving touch because he pushed his tongue roughly into my mouth. It's clear that he just wants his desires to be fulfilled. It reminds me of who really is in charge, that he only allows me to take the lead and even sit on top of him. He is much more subtly dominant than Reggie ever was.
Finished kissing Archie, for the moment, I turn to Reggie again, whose cock is still rock hard, but his face is white as a ghost.
“Remember, this is what you’ve always wanted, babe,” I tell him with a big grin. "Now I'm going to drain Archie's balls until all his cum is inside me. All the while, I'll jerk you off a little and maybe give you a blowjob, but you're not allowed to cum!"
“But-“
"No buts!" I interrupt him angrily. "You went behind my back to get what you wanted, so I'm giving you what you wanted, just not how you wanted it."
I once more turn back to Archie and take off my tight shirt, making the lust in his eyes even greater. This will definitely be fun.
[Masterlist]
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rainba · 2 months
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When are Kairos and Luka's birthdays? what are their feelings surrounding their birthday? how would they go about celebrating it with their darling and/or celebrating their darlings' birthday??
sorry if it's too much! I just really enjoy learning more about your OCs ^^;;;
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I’ve been thinking about when to make their birthdays– I’m a tiny bit conflicted. I usually like to just make my OCs birthdays as whenever they were actually first created! (*^‿^*)
In that case, Kairos’ birthday would be December 2nd, and Luka’s birthday would be March 7th. But… Kairos as a Sagittarius, and Luka as a Pisces??? >_<;;;;;;;;;;;;;
(Ok I don’t take astrology signs too seriously, but I think it’s a little funny ( ´ ▿ ` ). )
Also, it's not too much!! Thank you for being interested and asking questions! ☆*:.。.o(≧▽≦)o.。.:*☆
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Every year around Kairos’ birthday, he’ll often fall into a mild depression of sorts. ^^;;;;; It only ever brings up bad memories for him. He hates his birthday.
Going to school as a kid on his birthday, only for nobody to so much as acknowledge him. Going home, only for his parents to not even glance at him. No cakes, no gifts, nothing. He’d often spend his birthdays lying in bed while trying to sleep the day away, intensely wanting for it to just be over with. (-ω-、)
In the present day, he often tries to forget that it’s his birthday at all– but he can’t help but constantly check his phone, hoping that somebody, anybody, has sent him a text. It's compulsive. He also waits for his parents to give him a call.
…But that call never comes.
So, when darling comes around and celebrates his birthday? He would genuinely not know how to respond. If you hand him a gift or give/bake him a cake, tears will instantly start spilling from his eyes as he thanks you endlessly.
“Y-you really didn’t have to do all of this…! I, you… You…”
"You're the first person to... To ever d-do this..."
If you spoil him on his birthday, all of the previous painful memories will fade away, and it’ll become one of his favorite holidays.
On your birthday, he’ll absolutely treat you like royalty! He’s the type to make plans weeks to months in advance. He wants your birthday to be absolutely perfect! \(≧▽≦)/
Throughout the year, he’ll scrape up extra money and save it up, just so he can purchase you a really expensive gift. Oh, and he’ll make you a cake himself–! He watches tons of YouTube tutorials on how to make one, and occasionally he’d practice.
It… Still wouldn’t taste very good. But he made it with lots of love!! The cake is your favorite flavor and color! >_<;;;;
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As for Luka, he doesn’t feel one way or another about his birthday. To him, it’s just another day.
Like, yeah… He was born today… So what? Who cares? It’s not important.
Some of his acquaintances will wish him a happy birthday, as well as his coworkers. His father might call him and wish him a happy birthday. But nobody really celebrates with him– mostly because Luka prefers to keep people at a distance. He’d probably get an invitation to go drinking after work, but he’d just politely decline.
However, when you come along and celebrate his birthday– his opinion on things will shift. He’d suddenly start looking forward to his special day, wondering what kinds of things you might have in store for him! 
(=`ω´=)
And when your birthday comes around, he’ll make sure it’s a day you’ll never forget. Breakfast in bed, taking a day off work, handing you gifts every hour, etc.! He’ll also do whatever you want him to do– only for your birthday. (o˘◡˘o)
To end the night, he’ll treat you to dinner at a fancy restaurant, or perhaps he’ll take you to go watch a movie! And once the two of you get back home, he’ll be quick to lead you back to the bedroom, focusing only on you and your pleasure. 
(*≧ω≦*)
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whumpshaped · 8 months
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Helle and beckett, but they are dancing (i know, crazy.)
anywho they're dancing and having some fun. genuine fun and afterwards helle feeds off beck but takes care to be gentle... Idk I thought maybe there shouldn't always be a bad time, maybe a less awful time at least
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tw vampire whumper, idle whump, intimate whumper, emotional whump, memory loss
"It is such a beautiful night tonight." Helle was jumping around on one of the classical music playlists, skipping forward, changing their mind, going back. Beck didn't know any of the pieces, but the vampire seemed very intentional. They were looking for something. "The kind that brings up memories."
"Of when you were still alive?"
They tilted their head just a little, lost in thought. They skipped another piece. "I think so. I wish I could say for sure."
Beck didn't really understand whenever they said something like this. More and more, he was beginning to think Helle barely remembered their life. And while he wasn't terribly sympathetic towards a demon like them, this thought always made him a little sad.
"What memories?" he asked gently.
"Maybe memory is the wrong word to use." They finally settled on a soft melody, one that reminded Beck of old movies and ballroom dances. "It is more of a... feeling." They turned around and extended a hand to him, paired with a smile that seemed quite genuine compared to the mocking or condescending ones he was usually given. "I can show you what I mean."
"Ah, uh..." He swallowed nervously, realising Helle was definitely asking for a dance. "I've never... um... I've never done, uh–"
They rolled their eyes, but without any real malice behind the gesture. "Yes, I figured. Lucky for you, I can lead wonderfully."
They pulled him up from the sofa despite his protests, guiding his left hand to their shoulder and taking the right one in their own. He flinched a little when they put a hand on his waist, and they murmured a soothing 'relax' in response.
"You do not have to worry about anything," they reassured him again, and really, Beck was trying not to; new situations simply weren't his strong suit.
But Helle wasn't lying when they said they could lead. It was... strange, to trust them so unconditionally. Maybe it was the fact that it was already late into the night and he was tired, but it barely took him a couple minutes to start believing that Helle wasn't about to use this opportunity to completely humiliate him in some way. It was so easy to to allow them full control over his movements.
"This is the memory," they whispered. "Dancing in the moonlight, carefree and... happy, I think. My body remembers the steps and how it felt to hold someone... But I cannot actually remember the night, nor the person I was holding."
Beck felt a pang of compassion, an emotion that always scared him when it came to Helle. He couldn't help it. The moment was so intimate, even between the two of them. He couldn't imagine what it would've been like to have shared it with someone he loved, then forget about it so completely.
"I'm sorry," he said without thinking, and it made Helle chuckle.
"For what? Whoever it was, they are most likely dead by now. It is better for me to forget."
As the piece was coming to its end, Helle stopped and changed their hold on his hand. He didn't say a thing when they slowly brought it to their lips, biting into the soft flesh on the inside of his wrist. It was almost gentle, the way they did it. Careful. As though they didn't want to break this spell of calm.
Beck was thankful that he could lean on them, and even more so for the hand still resting on his waist, steadying him. It was almost comforting. The playlist moved on as Helle fed, and the room was filled with another melancholic tune. He could've easily fallen asleep to it.
"You should get some rest," Helle said when they finished, and Beck could hardly believe his wishes were coming true. He didn't need to be told twice.
"Thank you," he said quietly before he turned to go back to his bedroom. "It was... a nice evening. And night."
"All I hear is that you want to slow dance with me every night from now on," they teased, and Beck huffed out a laugh. As if. "You are right, though," they went on, their voice taking on a more serious tone that made him stop and hear them out. "It was nice. Thank you for indulging me, dear."
~
taglist: @whumpsday @the-scrapegoat @hidden-dreamland @dismemberment-on-a-tuesday-night @delicateprincepaper @whumppmuhw @florissimps @nicolepascaline @oliversrarebooks @the-cyrulik @pirefyrelight @there-will-always-be-blood @pigeonwhumps @echo-goes-mmm @whumpycries @morning-star-whump @d-cs @watermelons-dont-grow-on-trees @tauntedoctopuses @blueyellow8green @typewrittenfangs @whumpsoda @steh-lar-uh-nuhs
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lumine-no-hikari · 4 months
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Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #62
I said that I might go over some more techniques that I like to use in order to keep my memories and emotions in check. Today I made use of one, so I figured I might as well go over how it works.
I did dishes today, which might not seem like a huge accomplishment at first glance, but given that one of my ribs is out of place on the right side, doing anything that moves the right shoulder typically generates a lot of pain for me; I have to be very careful of how I move, or else it'll start to feel like someone is trying to tear my shoulder blade and my collarbone right out of my body.
Today I was having a bit less pain than usual, so I decided to do the dishes. They've been piling up, and I wanna cook something soon, and it's easier to cook things if the sink is empty, because then I can just put things in there without worrying about it becoming overcrowded. Also, if you're making pasta, the sink has to be empty and scrubbed down so that you can put the pasta strainer on the bottom without worrying about things getting icky.
Unfortunately, I have a lot of trauma when it comes to doing house chores. So if I'm not very careful about keeping my memories in check, my brain will start to wander over to the past, and memories of being screamed at for not doing a good enough job will creep into my mind. The memory of my mother evaluating my work and then berating me for it still looms over me whenever I do anything related to cleaning my house, and if I'm not careful, the feeling of tension will make me forget that I'm not in that world anymore. No one here cares if I miss a speck of dust on the carpet while vacuuming. No one here cares if they find a spot of hard water or even a speck of food on a plate that I washed; they'll just put it back into the sink to be washed again like sane, healthy people - WITHOUT accusing me of being an "ungrateful little fuck" who "is trying to give the whole house botulism" and threatening to send me back to my father's house so that my stepmother can "beat my ass into shape".
As you might guess, housework is very triggering for me. But I can't just not do it. So that means I have to find a way to keep my brain's adrenaline response from going haywire. And make no mistake, I will get an adrenaline response, because my body still remembers the time when nothing I ever did was good enough (even if it was "clean enough", I could always do it "faster" or "more efficiently", and just… ugh… I couldn't win in those days…).
But just because you get an adrenaline response doesn't necessarily mean you have to allow it to rule you. If you know that one is gonna come up, then there's a variety of things you can do to keep it in check and function through it.
The basic premise is that when the adrenaline response begins, the amygdala essentially shuts down the higher thinking parts of the brain in favor of prioritizing one's survival instincts. Anything that one does often enough can end up becoming hard-wired into one's instinctual behavior. So if, for example, you have to fight often in order to survive, the motions eventually become second nature - hard-wired into our instincts so that we don't have to think about it in order to do it with the kind of automaticity required to minimize any hesitation that might kill us. This is precisely why the amygdala will shut down the brain's higher functions; it diverts all resources to itself in order to maximize its speed and efficiency, because the brain has only a limited amount of CPU, so to speak; it can't do a whole lot at once.
Now, normally, if an adrenaline response is unwarranted, the hippocampus (a part of the brain that deals with things like memory encoding and retrieval, and a handful of other stuff) will step up and say, "Yo, come on now, cut it out." And then the amygdala is supposed to be all like, "Oh snap! My bad! Sorry, B! I'll go right back to chillin'."
Unfortunately, for those of us with trauma, we have this giant, beefy amygdala that operates on a hair trigger, and a small, underdeveloped hippocampus that can do fuck-all about it. This is because adrenaline and cortisol (stress hormones, fun fun) are actively neurotoxic; if you live in a situation where you have stress hormones coursing through your body all the time, they will break down other parts of the brain while the over-used amygdala gets super strong and sensitized. Yay, neuroscience, I guess.
So, when one is triggered to the point of being in an adrenaline state, higher functions such as "logical thinking", "empathy", "language processing", "critical thinking", "emotional regulation" and all that fun stuff… these are the first things that the amygdala will toss right out the damn window. This is not a "willpower" thing. It's not a "moral failing". This is basic human biology. It is chemistry and physics. Thinking like a person can "willpower" themselves out of an adrenaline activation is like thinking they can stab themselves in the neck and "willpower" themselves to not bleed out. It's just not how this stuff works.
So for me, in order to survive in the world I was raised in, my instincts became "dissociate" or "lash out in the same way that my caregivers used to lash out at me". These became my instincts because I've either witnessed them or have had to do them countless times. It is literally ground into my brain wiring now. If I'm not very careful, my body will do these things with an automaticity that I have little control over and very much do not like, even though these things are no longer the appropriate thing to do in any of my situations anymore.
…For you, it's combat. It's eliminating the enemy quickly and with prejudice. You have had no choice but to do these things countless times in order to stay alive, so by now, it's ground into your brain wiring. So for someone like you, if you get sufficiently adrenaline-activated, your body is simply going to do the thing that it knows, and the whole time, your awareness is only going to be partially there as you go through the motions of the neural pathway you've been forced to blaze thousands, if not hundreds of thousands of times, even if that's not the appropriate thing to do in a given situation.
…Complex PTSD is SUPER ANNOYING like that. It's absolute fucking garbage. It's like doing an involuntary time travel to your worst possible memories anytime you get stressed out. There's not a whole lot to be done with it other than to manage it, and fortunately, there are LOTS of ways to manage it. You can grind new instincts into your amygdala through deliberately practicing better things, and you can keep choosing the new thing until your brain has no choice but to prune away the connections of the old response. It takes years to do (because it took years to build those neural pathways to begin with), but it's work worth doing.
So, nowadays, when I gotta do housework, I will first weaken my amygdala by putting on tunes and singing as loudly as I can. I'll explain how this works:
Remember when I said that a brain has only limited CPU? It really can only do a few things at once. Singing forces us to activate the speech and language centers of the brain, as well as the creative centers, audio processing centers, and fine motor coordination centers (most people don't think about this, but the coordination required to move the mouth and tongue to speak is absolutely fucking insane). It also forces a person to be intentional and deliberate about their breath; one cannot sing well without being very mindful about breathing deeply and keeping the airways open. If you'll recall, I talked about why breath is important in my previous letter. Singing truly is the most perfect tool for preventing adrenaline activation and flashbacks.
So I'll do the dishes, and my amygdala is gonna try being all like, "ohhh, here we go again; we're about to get our ass handed to us, better sound ALL the alarms before we get got," because that's what it does every goddamn time. Except, I'm already gonna be belting out "City Ruins - Rays of Light" from Nier:Automata, and so my amygdala is not going to have the resources it needs to overpower everything else, because I'm forcing my higher functions to remain active and keeping my breath under control:
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I wonder if you noticed the parts where I suddenly became aware that I am recording myself and quavered. I posted it anyway, because it doesn't have to be perfect to be worthwhile. This video should be proof enough that you don't have to be good at singing in order to use this coping skill.
So, I'm sometimes still left with a vaguely uneasy feeling while I do the tasks (this is unpleasant, but manageable), but at very least, my amygdala won't be able to hijack the rest of my brain in service to a narrative that no longer exists, for the purpose of keeping me safe from threats that are no longer present. I like to think that this bit of brain hackery is pretty swanky! Don't you think so, too?
I think that's all I've got for writing today. I had a lovely visitor at my house - a very dear friend of mine - who needed a safe place to help him deal with a situation he's having. I won't get into the details. But I am glad that my house is a safe place where those who are having a difficult time feel like they can go to get a bit of reprieve. I thought I was going to go to the grocery today, but I think I'll do that tomorrow instead.
Remember that you're loved, and please stay safe.
You'll hear from me again soon, I promise.
Your friend, Lumine
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chidoroki · 10 months
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182 Days of TPN - Day 140
Chapter 140: "I'm Here!"
Being reminded of the current date makes me think of just how little of the entire story we actually get to see. Starting from Conny's shipment on the 12th of October 2045 where we see pretty much everything until Norman's shipment on November 3rd until it jumps a bit to January 15th for Ray's "birthday." After the escape, we see all the stuff leading up to Goldy Pond's destruction on the 29th but then we skip another month until Emma wakes up from her coma. Couple weeks go by before that big timeskip starts when the Cuvitidala squad heads out early March, with the rare shelter visits we see during flashbacks, but the story doesn't pick up for us again til mid/late October 2047 when we got the shelter exploding, followed by the several day journey to the paradise hideout, and everything else bringing us to this moment. It ends with the kids finally crossing over to the human world a week later and then we're hit with another two year timeskip to the day Emma is found. I just think it's kinda wild how much we love this series and these kids despite only seeing a couple months of their lives within a story that takes place over 4-5ish years. Can you imagine if we were given more content?
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Proud mom moment as precious daughter notices how baffled my son is as he rambles over the various possibilities of this complex cube and gets him to relax and remain hopeful within seconds with little effort.
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When you usually offer your hand to someone, your palm is facing upwards, correct? So to this day I still believe it was Ray who held out his hand first here. It's a tiny detail that doesn't matter too much but nonetheless, it still warms my heart. Not even trying to go full on RE fangirl right now, but the fact Emma was just the one to reassure him that everything was gonna be fine and Ray decides right after to believe her and provide support to her in return is just real sweet to me, alright?
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Bro I feel so bad for Ray. He went through all that trouble wandering the Seven Walls, facing his personal demons, dealing with an unimaginable amount of stress and sorta going through a mid-life crisis and he ends up getting kicked out! All that for nothing! I'm sure if he wasn't in a total panic over Emma's whereabouts that he'd be so pissed off.
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Ch181 missed an opportunity to have Ray react this same way once he found Emma. It would frighten the poor girl sure, but perhaps it could've jogged some memories too since Ray shouted similar words to her towards her back in ch137.
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I feel like I'm repeating myself (though can't remember exactly from which chapter, or somewhere else), but since no demon language is actually used in the anime, I have no choice to filter in something else in my head whenever I see someone speak His name. I could be nice and just call him demon god, or Scribbles as the fandom affectionately calls him, but unfortunately for Him, my mind filters to more rude name. Let's just say that bastard is one of the nicer ones (therefore reading such harsh names in the character's voice, like Emma's, is hilarious to me).
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I'm still proud my boy was so close to figuring everything out! Aaah! I forget where it was mentioned, but Shirai said that if Ray had the chance to attempt the Seven Walls again, he would be able to reach the day & night, right? Not that I would think he would actually volunteer to suffer through all that craziness again though.
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As much as I dislike the demon god, I'm not at all thrilled He was given one frame during that s2 finale slideshow. The fact that she alone was able to reach the day & night is simply amazing, no doubt one of her greatest feats, and yet the anime decides to just have her appear there without enduring any of the trials necessary to reach this sacred place. Emma making a new promise so her family can live a better life is one of, if not, the biggest goals of the whole story and the second season decides it's best to have this meeting last a couple seconds at most. It makes me so twisted.
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Favorite panel/moment:
I honestly wish we got to see him break out into these intense rambling sessions more often, though I suppose it shows just how insane the Seven Walls are since Ray only became a mumbling mess at the sight of this cube and nothing else during the story.
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ueueueueee · 2 years
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fuck it, time to put some dsmp fanfic here
TWs: abusive therapist, panic attacks, improperly handled panic attacks, guilt tripping, mentions of suicide, mentions of self harm, so much c!ranboo hurt, mild physical violence
In which Dream is not a very good therapist
Ranboo was sat in what looked like a therapist's office, on a couch, with someone he didn't recognize sitting across from him holding a clipboard. Apparently he was going to therapy. He didn't know that. He'd never been here before- at least, not that he could remember. He reached into his pocket for the small copy of his memory book he kept on his person- only to not find it.
"Oh, your book. I took that earlier," the man across from him said, and the voice was undeniably Dream's. He'd never seen Dream without his mask before. Had he? Had he forgotten? "I figured it would be better for you if you got your memories from a more unbiased perspective. It's not healthy to only trust your own word, especially when your memory is faulty," he explained without having been asked.
Ranboo nodded. Yeah, that seemed right. It sounded right. Dream knew what he was talking about. Since when was Dream a therapist? "Since when were you a therapist?" he asked.
Dream chuckled. "Decided to take a page out of my mom's book, y'know?" Ranboo stared blankly. "Puffy. Do you remember her?"
"I do." He couldn't forget Puffy. What did Puffy do again? She was a sheep. Right? Sheep lady. "I just didn't know she was your mom."
"Right. Of course you wouldn't remember that." Something in his voice sounded bitter. As if Ranboo should have remembered. Should he have?
"I don't even know you. We've only spoken, like... once?" Ranboo protested.
Dream sighed. "You keep saying that." He scribbled something down onto his clipboard. Ranboo couldn't imagine what. Unable to remember the lives and faces of his close friends. He suddenly felt bad. Dream looked up. "You were here talking about your struggles. Your deteriorating memory," Was it deteriorating? Ranboo didn't think it was any worse than usual, "your relationship with your husband, and your feelings of general self-doubt."
That made sense. Those were all things he struggled with. Ranboo fiddled with his hands a bit. "I guess I'm worried that I wasn't there for enough of Tubbo's life," he said, missing how Dream suddenly looked irritated at the mention of Tubbo's name. "I joined the server pretty late, I mean. I don't know what L'manburg was like before he was president, or-"
Dream cut him off. He didn't think therapists were supposed to do that. "L'manburg is dead, Ranboo."
His tail flicked in irritation. "I know that-"
"You need to move on. Stop focusing so much on the past." He scribbled on his notepad again. Ranboo winced. He was supposed to feel better, right? This was meant to make him feel better. Why did he feel worse?
Dream looked up. "Why not tell me about your feelings of self-doubt, hm?" Ranboo wasn't done with the topic of Tubbo, but he guessed Dream didn't like that topic.
"I mean, I guess... I guess I sort of feel like I don't have any real purpose. I mean, I don't remember anything about where I come from, or my parents, or even why I have this-" he gestured towards the crown on his head, "and I've just been trying to help people, I guess. But whenever I help someone, I just turn around and help someone else who completely undermines them. Like when I promised to help Quackity protect Las Nevadas, but then I helped Wilbur blow it up." He swallowed. "Or when I promised to help protect Tommy..."
"And then you helped me kill him," Dream cut in.
Ranboo blinked. "I- I what?"
"You forgot?" Ranboo opened his mouth to answer, but Dream didn't let him. "Of course you forgot. Christ. You set off the TNT that trapped him in Pandora with me, remember?" Ranboo froze up. Shut down. Wrapped his tail around himself. "Ah, great, another one of these," he heard Dream mutter, before his own heavy breaths drowned out any sound.
He killed Tommy. He killed Tommy. He killed his best friend. He killed his husband's best friend. His hand shot up into his mouth, fangs digging into his palm as he hyperventilated, eyes wide, pupils narrowing into slits. His tail darted from side to side, and eventually stinging tears started pricking at his eyes. Vaguely, he heard a voice, but he couldn't- he couldn't possibly make it out over his heart pounding in his ears.
"Ranboo!" a voice shouted over the chaos. A hand clasped down on his shoulder, but he didn't respond, just shut his eyes, shook his head, let the tears streaming down his cheeks burn him. He was being irrational. Why was he doing this? Why was this happening? Why was-
He heard, before he felt, the crack of the back of a hand against his cheek. The sound stunned him into opening his eyes. The pain made him try to listen to Dream, out of fear. Why was he afraid? He shouldn't be afraid. He should feel better. "Calm down, Boo. Jeez," Dream muttered. Vaguely, Ranboo wondered why he called him that. Tubbo called him Boo. Everyone else called him Ranboo, because that was his name. How did Dream even know he was married to Tubbo in the first place? How did-
"Are you gonna listen now?" Ranboo nodded shakily, and Dream pulled away finally finally finally. "Good." Dream's gaze rested on Ranboo's eyes for an uncomfortable period of time. Ranboo didn't like eye contact. He looked away. "You have to stop being so avoidant, Boo," Dream chided, but he didn't look back.
Then Dream sighed, stood up and returned to his desk. When had he left it? When had- "You seem pretty torn up about all this, huh?"
Ranboo shrugged. Nodded. That's what he was supposed to do.
Dream frowned. Looked down at his notepad. Scribbled something. Looked back up. "Have you considered offing yourself?"
"What?" Ranboo sputtered. What an incredibly forward thing to say. What a thing to say to your client, who's presumably paying you to make them feel better.
"I mean, it just seems like you're all out of options here," Dream said with a shrug. "Y'know, everyone says suicide is the coward's way out. And you've always been a coward."
He was joking. It was an awful joke. It was a horrible joke. That's just how Dream was. He made awful, horrible jokes. But Ranboo's chest felt tight. "I saw you bite your hand. I saw all the water burns on your fingers. I know you already hurt yourself. Why not go that extra mile?" His throat closed in on itself. He couldn't breathe. "Is it because you're too scared? I mean, I've heard about what hell is like. It's not exactly pleasant."
Dream's voice coiled in like a snake, hissing into his ear before the venomous strike. "People like you don't go to heaven, Ranboo."
He couldn't remember anything after that.
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threelovesinonesummer · 3 months
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Levi's New Obsession
“Levi they’re waiting, chop chop!” My mother saunters across the room and out the front door down to the beach. I drop my spoon in my cereal and sigh, heaving myself up and off the rusted table chair. My mother and I moved to this beach house 8 months ago so although I’ve never met my neighbour Angie I’ve seen her on the beach and my mother has taken quite a liking to her. Apparently her daughter is here visiting for the summer…yay. I’m not a bad guy and I don’t mean to be rude to people but my ex-girlfriend Laney broke up with me when I moved and I’ve yet to shake whatever funk that put in. Also having my 40 year old mother try to play matchmaker with every girl she sees has gotten pretty annoying. When I was told our family friend Jade was staying with us for a few weeks I was as far from thrilled as humanly possible. She’s a sweet person but I can’t have an hour away from her much less a day. Plus I know she’s had a small crush on me for years but I just can’t see it, she’s like a little sister to me. 
Feeling the warm sand hit my toes makes me forget that there is a two person family awaiting my arrival only 20 feet away. I can’t wait to get this over with and go for a swim, the water is the only alone time I have because Jade hates the beach. Why would you come to a beach house if you hate the beach?  It makes me like her even less. 
“I’m Angie.” The mother holds her hand out to me and I introduce myself to her and her daughter. Angie introduces the girl as Sita and she looks as baffled as I feel but I hope nobody notices. She’s the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen. Not because of how she looks necessarily, but because when she smiles at me one of her eyes squints slightly harder than the other, it’s the gentlest difference that makes her that much more special than everyone else. It sounds harsh but I’m so glad Jade slept in and didn’t come with me to meet Sita. Having this memory to myself and being able to lay eyes on her first seems like a privilege. 
Over the next few weeks I’ve seen her a hand full of times during my mothers “beach bakeouts” which is her nickname for family barbeques with the accompaniment of baked goods. Jade has come along to these so she’s met Sita but it’s hard for me to tell whether or not they like one another. I’ve only seen them have a few conversations but whenever we’re in a group setting I can’t even bring myself to look at Sita. She makes me too nervous, butterflies and whatever other symptoms are sweltered up from being love sick. Usually I keep my eyes on Jade whenever the three of us are together, she’s the safe option, it keeps me from stumbling on my words until I get up the courage to actually talk to Sita on my own. I go to the beach most days to read and swim but Sita’s nowhere to be seen. I wonder if she’s like Jade with her distaste for the sand. But once I force myself out of this cage of nerves I’ll ask her to join me, if she’s even interested. 
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simplyotometrash · 2 years
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MC Sits in a Salt Circle pt. 2
It was requested of me, so here's the next part to this!
Brothers x gender-neutral reader
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, angst I guess? Idk I hate writing angst. I like soft and funny stuff
Warnings: Bitter, angry succubi trying to break Asmo and MC up by framing him. Nothing sexual, no cheating.
MC Sitting in a Salt Circle Until They Apologize (younger brothers)
The two of you had gotten into it. The two of you had gone your separate ways to recollect your thoughts and maybe talk it out later, but you were feeling beyond petty. You were willing to devote yourself to being petty. You created a circle of salt inside of your bedroom in the middle of the floor and sat down in it, a pillow in hand and your D.D.D. fully charged. You weren't planning on going anywhere either.
"MC," you heard a knock at your door, "I'm coming in."
Satan:
You and Satan rarely ever got into fights.
It wasn't much of a fight, honestly.
You two had been reading a book series together, and he read ahead to the last book. And spoiled it for you!
So you were being petty.
Was it stupid? Yes. Did you care? No.
"Alright, MC, you're being petty. I get it. I'm sorry."
You puffed and elected to ignore his apology. He was trying to placate you without even acknowledging what he had done!
"You read ahead and spoiled the ending! We were reading that series together. It was supposed to be special."
He looked down, dejected, and sighed. "I know. I got ahead of myself. I wanted to keep going and didn't wait for you. I shouldn't have done it."
"No, you shouldn't have. You're the one who usually hates spoilers and you spoiled it for me! I don't even want to finish the series anymore."
He sat down next to the salt circle and pulled out the next book in the series. "Even if I read it to you?"
You didn't reject the idea but you stayed in your salt circle for the first few chapters.
There was no hiding Satan's smile when you broke the circle and scooted in next to him around chapter six.
All wasn't totally forgiven, but you were done being petty.
Asmodeus:
Why were you mad at your doting, enthusiastic boyfriend? He was hard to get mad at most of the time.
Well, it was mostly you being bitter and jealous.
You two had gone out to a nice club, Asmo loved showing you off whenever he could. You came back from the bathroom to see him sandwiched between two succubi on the dancefloor.
You knew he'd never, ever, cheat on you, but you couldn't help but feel a pang of jealousy.
"MC, can we please just talk. I've been giving you space because I know you're upset, but I don't want to end today with us being in a fight."
You couldn't resist Asmo no matter how hard you tried. His eyes looked puffy, which was abnormal, telling you that he'd been crying just like you.
"I know what it LOOKED like. I didn't want to be dancing with them, they pulled me to the floor while you were gone and pinned me there. One was even holding my hands down. They think it's "unfair" that I'm off the market, so they wanted to make you mad at me."
You sighed and hung your head, feeling quite foolish. "I'm sorry."
"No, darling, I understand why you're upset! You have every right to feel hurt. Just know, I would never hurt you. I love you far too much. They let go of my hands once you left and I ran out after you."
You dusted the salt away, breaking the circle, and you rushed into his arms. You were crying again. This time because you felt bad for jumping to conclusions.
"Hey," he cooed in your ear, holding you tight to his chest. "Don't cry, my sweetheart. We've both had too many tears. I thought you were going to leave me and I couldn't even sleep."
You went to say another apology only to be shushed.
Asmo swept you up into his arms and off of your feet.
"Asmo, what-"
"Shh, my sweet MC. We both need some special self-care and bonding time. I'm going to run us a hot bath, we'll do masks. We'll forget last night ever happened."
And you did everything he said you would and more. He wanted to erase that awful night from both of your memories.
Beelzebub:
Oh boy.
We know how Beel gets about his food being eaten, you know better than to even touch his food. He also respects you to not touch your food without permission.
Even then, you knew he couldn't help himself because of his sin. Food wasn't all he cared about, but it was hard to resist how strong the sin of gluttony affected him.
But this was about food.
So what caused this issue between the two of you?
A complete misunderstanding.
You had been getting out a really fancy pudding that you bought. It was big enough to share with Beel, which was your plan.
You left it on the counter for no more than five minutes and came back to it gone and Beel standing right there. He knew you had bought it, so you assumed he wouldn't eat it.
You were in shock, to say the least. You were very upset thinking he'd gone behind your back and eaten something he knew was yours.
"MC, I'm sorry," he said softly. He had that kicked puppy look and it broke your heart immediately.
"Why'd you eat it? I told you we were going to share it. I was really looking forward to that pudding and eating it with you."
"Eat it...? I didn't eat it. I thought you were mad at me for not stopping him."
"Wait, stopping who?" You were already out of the salt line, arms around your boyfriend in apology.
"Mammon. I came in after he finished the pudding off. I was going to tell him off, but he bolted when I walked in."
Oh, now it was on. Beel patted your head lightly, unable to stop chuckling. For once, food being eaten that was meant for you two didn't anger him. He was just glad you weren't mad at him.
"Instead of going to kill Mammon, how about we go buy a new pudding instead? I'll buy it and we can share it like you wanted."
Belphegor:
He's an easy one to have a fight with.
Not really big fights. Usually disagreements or getting frustrated.
And today was a frustration day.
You guys had at least two dates every week that took you out of the house as you spent much of your time indoors.
Belphie did not want to leave his bed. He even told you as much, saying it didn't matter if you went out because all that mattered was that you were together.
That was true, sure, but it also stung. It felt like your own feelings and what you wanted sometimes didn't matter to him.
He knew he had fucked up when you sniffled and walked away instead of responding.
"Hey." He sat down and looked at you, resting his cheek in his palm with his elbow on his knee.
"I'm sorry. I did some thinking and then talk about what happened with Beel. He scolded me for what I said to you."
"Good. You deserve it. You were being a complete ass."
"Yeah," he sighed. "I was being an ass to you. I'm sorry. I know you like it when we go out, and the fact that I was cranky from just waking up isn't an excuse for hurting your feelings. Am I allowed a second chance?"
You narrowed your eyes for a second before brushing some salt aside.
"I'm willing to be swayed for the price of some Bufo Egg Milk Tea and a movie."
He laughed and got up, extending his hand to you. "It's a date then."
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nightmare-writes · 2 years
Text
Perfect Puppy
Dark! Wanda Maximoff x Fem! Reader
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Warning! This fic contains dark content also kind of multiverse of madness spoilers!!
Contains: pet names, manipulation, mind control, medicine being used for mind control, smut, heavy pet play, dom/sub dynamics, and dubious consent (please tell me if I missed any) read at your own discretion! 18+ content!
Word count: 2550
Summary: Wanda trains her puppy to be the perfect pet and rewards them generously
Hello! I have finally written a part two to Please, don’t go (You couldn’t even if you wanted to). This is definitely exposing my thing for muzzles and mitts but you know what more people need to know about them. I hope you all enjoy!
Also here’s part one and part three
You woke up with a throbbing headache. Mommy says that usually happens whenever you go through one of your episodes, followed by memory loss and a bit of nausea. You feel around the bed for your favorite witch. She wasn’t in bed with you this morning… strange. Mommy was always in bed with you in the morning. She always kissed you Good Morning and then forced you to get out of bed and brush your teeth so you could join the land of the living. The absence of the redhead made you inexplicably sad.
Maybe she’s just working early.
You drag yourself out of bed and the nausea immediately hits. You rush to the bathroom and deal with it, brushing your teeth thoroughly to freshen up.
This is the first time I’ve brushed my teeth without Wanda in how many days?
That didn’t matter now. What did matter was finding mommy. She couldn’t be far. She barely left the house to your knowledge, let alone without telling you where she was. You open the door of your bedroom and smell your favorite breakfast food of all time. “Pancakes!” You yell happily before running down the stairs and to the kitchen.
“Yes puppy, I’m making pancakes” Wanda says, trying her best to hide a small giggle. She turns her head to see you standing behind her in her favorite hoodie, one of the most precious sights she’s ever seen. “Ah ah, puppies don’t stand, do they?” You tilt your head in confusion until you realize your mistake. You quickly move to sit on your knees. You mumble out a “sorry, mommy” internally berating yourself over forgetting such a simple command. Mommy taught you that early on and it was an important one too! “It’s okay, my dumb little puppy is forgetting their training. I don’t think I did a thorough job so we’re going to be doing some obedience training today, just me and you pup.” She smiles down at you.
Special mommy time!
“Yes, detka, special mommy time. I have a few things that I need to get while you’re eating.” She says while ripping up a few pancakes and putting it into something. She turns around with a red dog bowl with your name on it. She sets it on the floor next to you before grabbing a matching bowl and filling it with water. “Go on, pup, breakfast just for you.” She coos while petting your hair. This was new. Not bad, just new. Mommy’s never made you eat from a bowl before, maybe she was really serious about her training you properly. You wanted to make her happy, that’s the only real meaning to your life now, so you leaned down and began to eat. Mommy always makes the best food so it didn’t surprise you that this was absolutely delicious. “Before I go, pup, you need to take your medicine, remember?” Wanda says softly, still crouched down next to you. You sit up on your knees and nod as you watch her get up and retrieve your medicine. She comes back with five pills in her hand and a glass of water.
Five pills? I usually only have two at the most.
“The doctor said we need to up your dosage since your symptoms are starting to worsen, remember? We went to see him yesterday.” Wanda explains while trying to hide a small smirk on her face. “Oh no, detka, it’s worse than we thought. Do you not remember what we did yesterday?“ She asks with faux concern. She knew exactly why you didn’t remember anything. She’s the reason why, but you didn’t know that and she would never let you know that. You shake your head and pout at her. You felt sad that you couldn’t remember anything. You didn’t like disappointing mommy. She set down her glass and began to pet your head. “It’s okay, puppy, mommy isn’t upset.” You immediately perk up “I just want to help you feel back to normal. That’s why we’re doing training today, okay?” You nod quickly. “That’s my good puppy, now open up.” Wanda says while using her free hand to hold the side of your face. She moves her thumb to your lips and pushes it inside. She uses her thumb to pull your jaw down so your mouth is wide open for her to put the pills in followed by the water. “Now swallow, detka.” She says while closing your mouth. Without a second thought you immediately swallow the pills before going back to eating breakfast. “I’ll be right back, puppy, try not to make too much of a mess.”
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You finish eating and decide to sit on the couch to wait for Wanda. She was taking an awfully long time collecting the things she needed for today and sitting on the floor was starting to hurt your knees. You turn on the tv and watch some detective show to pass the time.
Five minutes later, Wanda appears back in the living room with a box of different objects just for you. She sets them on the coffee table before turning off the tv. Before you can get a word out, she says “Good puppies don’t watch those kinds of things. They also don’t sit on furniture, am I understood?” sternly while crossing her arms. “Sorry, mommy.” you mutter as you move back to the floor to sit on your knees. “Good puppy, now let's get started with some new things.” Wanda sits down on the couch and taps her knee, signaling you to set your head against it. You do so and look up at her, immediately feeling a sense of calmness rush over you. “I have a few things just for you. Will you be a good pup and let me put them on you?” Wanda says softly. “Of course, mommy” you reply quickly. “There’s my good pup, now sit up straight.”
Your mommy reaches into the box and pulls out a dark red collar, there’s a little bell at the front next to a small, silver tag that says “Mommy’s puppy” on the front with the symbol of her headpiece on the back. You sit as still as you can as she fastens the collar around your neck, ensuring it wasn’t too loose or too tight. Next she pulls out something you’ve never seen before. Two black leather mitts with a paw print on one side and a lock at the wrist. Wanda could tell you were slightly apprehensive about them by the way you were looking at them. “They’re to make sure my dumb little puppy doesn’t touch things they’re not meant to.” She explains. “Paws up now, you know I don’t like to wait, detka.” You put your fists up towards her so she can secure the mitts around you. They were snug and rendered your hands useless. You tapped them against one another and giggled at the way you could barely feel the tap underneath all of the leather padding. Wanda laughs at your antics, realizing that your playfulness was one of the reasons she fell in love with you in the first place. You always knew how to make her smile effortlessly. “My silly pup, we have two more things and we can get to the fun part.” She says quietly as she grabs the two last objects from the box. One is a dark red leash that attaches to your collar and the other is a silver muzzle that wraps around your head. Wanda couldn’t help but coo over how adorable her little puppy looked. She could see your eyes start to glaze over as the sweet feeling of your meds submission finally took over. She pets your head and whispers soft praises to you, telling you how you’re her “pretty puppy” and that you’re her entire world. You beamed from ear to ear listening to how much she loved you.
After a few minutes of bliss, Wanda grabs the end of your leash and stands up. “Are you ready to have some fun, puppy?” Wanda asks while tugging on your leash a little. You nod and smile up at her before you follow along with her by the leash. She takes you to a more open part of the living room. “We’re gonna start by learning some basic tricks, can you be a good puppy for mommy?” You nod eagerly, all you wanted was to be good for her.
You’d do anything for your mommy
She lets go of the leash and steps a foot or so back. You pout up at her due to the new distance between you. “Oh don’t give me those eyes, puppy, I’m not leaving you, you just need some room to do your tricks. If you do them right-“ a red mist appears in one of Wanda’s hands until it turns into a small package of cookies “- you’ll get a little treat!” You perk up at the sight of the package. They were your favorite cookies too! Your mommy knew exactly how to spoil you.
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For the next hour or two it was really five hours but time flies when you’re with your captor Mommy you learned from Wanda your mommy how to do basic commands like sit and stay along with a few fun ones like roll over and play dead. The one that Wanda mommy particularly wanted you to know is present. It was a position that, like the name implies, presents yourself. It has your hips in the air while you’re on your knees with your upper body placed firmly on the ground. Wanda Mommy made you hold this position for a couple hours minutes to make sure it really stuck.
It was getting late and it was time for you to have the last bit of your medicine for the day. Wanda CAPTOR WITCH MURDERER Mommy could tell it was starting to weaken by the way your eyes weren’t as glazed over anymore. She did the same thing she did in the morning, giving you five pills and forcing them down with water. She made you sit by her feet for a little while so they would kick in.
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You were starting to fall asleep on the floor when your mommy tugged on your leash to get your attention. “Is my poor puppy feeling sleepy?” You sit up and shake your head. She laughs as she begins to lead you up the stairs and to your bedroom. You start to whine, it was too early for bedtime, but mommy was quick to shush you. “We’re not going to bed, detka, mommy thinks you’ve done a really good job with your training today so I wanted to give you a reward.” She brings you into the bedroom and unfastens the muzzle from around your head and lifts you onto the bed. “My sweet little pup, so good for mommy as always. You’d do anything for me.” She says sweetly before flicking her hand to remove the hoodie and underwear you had on, revealing your core that was dripping from the praise.
Mommy lays you down against the bed before sitting beside you, lazily dragging her fingers through your folds. “My puppy is so wet, is this all for me?” She teases and all you can let out is a whine as your hips subtly grind up against her digits. “Ah ah, no cheating pup.” Is all she had to say to get your movements to cease. She moves her focus to your clit before moving between your legs. She picks up the pace and you finally let out a moan that was waiting to be freed. “That’s my good good puppy, doesn’t it feel good to let go completely for mommy?” Her words send a new wave of pleasure down to your soaking pussy. “Do you want mommy to fill you up?” she asks before waving her hand to make a scarlet strap appear around her hips. It was larger than anything you’d ever taken before, but you wanted to please your mommy so you nodded your head eagerly. She grabbed the piece and began to move the tip through your folds to collect some of your arousal that began to spill out of you.
Wanda smiled, her plan was finally working and soon she would have you all to herself. Soon you would completely forget about your original Wanda, whose body was disposed of in her precious rose garden that your original Wanda planted just for you, and all you would know is her. The witch knew you would give in after a while, she just needed to show you that she was your true mommy. She worked too hard to get to this point but now that she was here she could see that killing Strange, America Chavez, Wong, and the entirety of Kamar-Taj was a sacrifice worth making if it meant that you could be her prized puppy once more.
She leans down to you and whispers “You have no idea how long I’ve waited for this, my darling pup. You are my everything.” before plunging her strap into you, bottoming out almost instantly due to how wet you were. You let out a groan as you felt your mommy take up the entirety of your insides. She gives you a quick peck on the lips before moaning against the feeling of you squeezing around her piece. You look into each other’s eyes and you can see how dilated mommy’s eyes have gotten. There was no more forest green, instead replaced with pitch black sapphires. Mommy began to kiss down from your jaw and to your neck. She picked certain spots around your pulse point to leave dark hickeys that would stay there for weeks after tonight, constantly reminding you of your owner. She started thrusting into you, slowly at first but after hearing your moans and pleas for her to go faster the witch couldn’t help herself but comply. She began to fuck you mercilessly, drawing out one sinful moan after another from your mouth. Her lips dove back to yours to give you a searing kiss. Without warning she pushes her tongue into your mouth, quickly claiming dominance over you. The sounds of your hips slapping together combined with your dripping cunt filled the room accompanied by Wanda’s grunts and your moans. Her hand finds your clit again and attacks it at the same pace of her strap hitting the deepest parts of you. Your moans became higher and she knew you were getting closer. “Cum for me, pet, show me that you’re all mine.” She commands and you let go almost instantaneously. She fucks you through your high before slowly pulling out. You whimper at the loss of contact before you feel her body right next to yours.
She moves you to snuggle up against her. Your head falls against her chest and you can hear her heart beating heavily. She holds you close, almost as if she thought that letting go of you meant that you’d go too. You feel yourself nodding off and the last thing you hear is “My perfect puppy, all mine again.” from your mommy who was holding back tears.
Wanda can finally have her happy ending.
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mrpenguinpants · 3 years
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Xiao: Fainting HCS
FUCK. I FORGOT TO POST THIS EARLIER. AHHHH. I HAVE WORK IN LIKE 2 MINUTES SO I’LL BE BACK TO REPLY TO EVERYONE. 
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Hey anon! So sorry it took me forever to finish writing this but good luck if you’re planning on pulling Xiao. I really wanted to finish writing this fic as an offering to the gacha gods that c1 xiao wants to bless me (even tho that’s not gonna happen). But good luck to everyone rolling today^^.
Disclaimer: I have not watch anything about Xiao because my hype can only take so much. This was written before 1.3. So if I get anything wrong or I’m missing something. That’s why.
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Can I just say how far Xiao has come in my writing since the first part of the semi series? Sniff, feel like we’re making character development for a character that’s not even out yet. I can’t wait for mihoyo to take my HCS and rip them apart.
Xiao Semi Series
[ Friendship ] [ Falling in Love ] [ Cuddles ] [ Protective ] [ Affection ] [ Jealously ] [ Opposites Attract ] [ String Of Fate (Soulmate) ]
[Masterlist]
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[taglist]  <- if you want to be added, please read this first.
​  @hanniejji​@mikeysbike​​ @unionwitch​ @musekala​ @sunnshiii​ @stanzastic​ @akaasea​ @xoneaboveallx​ @adoring-ghost​ @asheseiler​ @childelover​ @dilucsz​ @dai-tsukki-desu​ @thicmitten​ @nonniechan​​ @snowy224 @mayumintsu​ @tigerpriestess @yuu-yuukurotsuki​ @legionqueensav​ @eva-0403 @youaskedfurret​ 
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Xiao: Fainting HCS
Instant panic mode engaged. If you’ve ever doubted his adepti power of swiftness you’re about to be mistaken. He’s noticed that you seem a bit out of it but brushed it off as you being tired from your recent journey. If there was anything bothering you, you would tell him. But as he turned around to greet you back, it seems like time is slowing down for him. He sees how your eyes glazed over and become unfocused. The muscles in your body snap and you drop to the ground. He can feel his blood run cold as past memories that have been waiting to jump at him suddenly claw at him but he doesn’t even register them. He’s already running towards you.
He’s already caught you in his arms before you can even meet the wooden floor. His brain is racing as he quickly checks your pulse to make sure you didn’t suffer from a heart attack or a curse. He makes a quick search over your body to check for any injuries, he can already feel the red hot iron of anger fill his system at the thought of someone trying to take advantage of you or threaten you. He’s usually logical in these types of situations, even the death of Rex Lapis didn’t shock him this much, but he’s been battling his conflicting feelings ever since he met you. But now that he’s finally accepted you and himself, he wouldn’t know what to do if anything happened to you. His mind flashes to Guizhong before he shakes away the thought.
It doesn’t occur to him that you might be sick as he tries to shake you awake. Whatever teachings Guizhong and Morax have taught him fly out the window as he holds you so close to his chest, he’s pretty sure his grip on you is bruising. He knew mortal souls weren’t as strong as adepti and staying around one might cause sickness or even worse- death. Was this his fault? He can feel the drop in his stomach as he tries to reign in his emotions and powers, not here.
Verr almost screams when Xiao breaks the wooden ceilings and lands in front of her. She’s scared that there was a monster outbreak or something was wrong with Xiao before she notices your passed out form in his arms. As much as she likes to joke around and thinks your relationship with Xiao is cute, she knows that if anything came to seriously harm you she wouldn’t able to calm Xiao before he goes on a rampage. You mean so much to him and he hasn’t opened his heart to anyone except you.
She can tell he’s nearly past his breaking point as he looks at her with dilated eyes as he asks, no commands, her to help you. It’s such whiplash to her. Xiao’s always been polite and reserved that she almost forgets he used to be a demon slaying Yaksha, but this isn’t the time for her to worry about that. She quickly leads him to the backroom since there’s no way Xiao wouldn’t bite any hand that comes near you. Bless Verr’s heart since this isn’t the first time she’s had to handle Xiao’s outbreaks that she manages to save face and contact a doctor that was staying at the inn to look at you. She does feel a bit bad for the doctor who looks like he’s about to piss himself in fear as Xiao growls and watches the doctors every move with piercing yellow eyes.
Xiao is still wary when the doctor and Verr try to calm him down and examine you more closely, always flinching back whenever their hands get too close to you, letting out a dangerous hiss whenever there’s the slightest twitch of discomfort in your face when the doctor feels your heated forehead. As soon as the doctor concludes that you’ve been sick for the past few days and your body just needs to heal itself and recharge, the tension on Xiao’s shoulder loosens and the suffocating aura that’s been filling the room slowly filters out. Verr can’t help but sigh in relief but can’t bring herself to scold Xiao for breaking the inns roof as she watches him look over your form with worried eyes as he softly nudges your cheek. He’s still holding you but his grip has loosen slightly as he rests his forehead against yours. He breathes a sigh of relief as he rubs small circles in your hand. Xiao’s never been the most affectionate or shown to be the most caring but you’ve seriously scared him. She quietly leaves him be and closes the door as she begins to prepare to fix the damages.
Xiao never leaves your side as he waits for you to wake up. He can’t help but berate himself for not confronting you. The doctor said you would be fine but he can’t but imagine your body falling in a more violent scene. He quickly shakes those thoughts away as he paces around the room, sits besides you, then goes back to pacing. Usually he would go on a walk or beat his aggression out but he doesn’t want to leave you alone should you awake early.
Xiao doesn’t ramble about his day while you’re asleep, instead he just observes your features and the small movements you make to remind him that you’re okay. How your chest moves up and down as you breath or how your eyes sometimes scrunch in sleep. You’ve made him almost trip when you did it the first time since he thought you were waking up. He can’t help but think back to his fellow Yaksha’s and what they would say if they saw the way he was acting now.
Since his panic attack has mostly subsided he’s found himself growing more curious. He’s still worried about you but he’s managed to reason with himself that you’re okay, just sick which he’s going to scold you a bit for when you awake, so he softly brushes his fingers across your face. Before snatching his hand away in embarrassment. What the hell is he doing? Guizhong would slap him sideways if she saw him now. He huffs at himself as he deflates a little and rests his head on the bed beside your head. He’s patient. He will wait when your ready to wake up.
When you suddenly gain consciousness, it feels as if the entire world is weighing you down. You slowly blink open your eyes to see a worried Xiao hovering over you, his hands awkwardly in the air since he’s not sure if it’s okay to touch you.
“How are you feeling?” Xiao asks as his eyes dart all over the place before resting on your face. You’re still a bit out of it but you can tell he must have been really worried. You try to give him a small smile but with how scuffy you feel you can bet it’s not a pretty picture.
“Like I got slammed with one of Zhongli’s meteors,” you tried to laughed before coughing as Xiao quickly pressed a cup of water to your lips. Slowly letting you drink and calm down. 
“If you have time to make jokes then you’re alright” Xiao sighs before his features change slightly. His eyes glaze over in concern as a small frown appears. He really does look like a kicked kitten as he slumps over as the stress finally lifts as he feels your hand softly run through his hair.
“Sorry,” you say, he must have been so stressed out while you were passed out for him to look so exhausted. He simply nudges into your hand before turning his face to kiss your palm,
“There’s no need for apologies. I’m...just glad you’re okay,” Xiao mumbles before he’s back to pressing his head into your stomach. You can’t help but smile delicately as you reach over and bring Xiao up with you until he’s lying over you as you hug him gently. There’s a bit of shuffling before you’re able to spoon him as he let’s himself relax after the two day panic attack he just went through.
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When you’ve fully recovered Xiao seems to hover around you a bit more. Well not a bit, a lot more, but no one has the heart to tell him that. It’s actually kind of adorable seeing the aloof and reserved adepti seem to follow you around like a loss duckling. Making sure you’re okay and you’re not overworking yourself. He still keeps his tough demeanor but you seriously gave him a big scare.
When Zhongli and Childe come over for their weekly visits of tea, they were aware that Xiao had locked himself in a room to watch over you and anyone that even stepped near the door would be skewered with a spear - and Verr would make them pay for the damages (Zhongli) and whatever consequences Xiao saw fit (Childe) - but they are happy to see you’re okay. You all fall back into your usual rhythm of conversation or Childe trying to get a rise out of Xiao while you and Zhongli talk about how lovely the weather’s been.
Zhongli let’s you in on some details that Xiao or Verr never mentioned while Childe and Xiao are fighting about who knows what. How Xiao wouldn’t leave your side or that he resembled a kicked kitten as he nudged your hand when he thought no one was looking. He offers you some medicine herbs to help with exhaustion and to take care of yourself. Likewise, to give Xiao some pain medication on his behalf. You’re one of the few good things in Xiao’s life and he doesn’t want anything bad happening to you.
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Hmm. I didn’t mean to but I totally believe in the dad zhongli train and I think Zhongli basically just gave you his blessing? Maybe I’m thinking too hard on this haha.
Maybe this is better? Trying to figure out writing styles are hard. Either way, I’m never gonna end up kicking my paragraph HCS habit haha. If you couldn’t tell, I really like feral protective but lowkey vulnerable types (coughrazorcough). Xiao is so OOC at this point I don’t even know how to fix it. Please come home Xiao. 
(Edit: FUCK YEAH HE CAME HOME WITH DILUC. WE 90ED THIS BITCH AND IM ABOUT TO MAX HIS TALENTS. ILL SHARE IT WITH YOU ALL (since people have been asking) WHEN I GET BACK FROM WORK)
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Text
My Little Kitten (Day 11)
A/n: Hello, my 🍓Little Strawberries🍓! Welcome to day 11 of kinktober. Thank you @marilynmonroefanfics for the title. Couldn’t find a better GIF.
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DAY 11: Cosplay Sex & Pet names (Cockworshipping?)
Pairing(s): Dean Winchester x male reader
Rating: Mature
Word Count: 1606
Summary: You and Dean made a bet. You ended losing that bet. Now, you’re at the mercy of Dean.
I hope you enjoy it! Sorry if it’s bad, and for any errors that are discovered.
If you like this and wanna read more, you can check out my masterlist.
Keys:
M/N: Male name
H/C: Hair color
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MINORS DNI. FEMALE READERS… I’ll ALLOW YOU TO READ MY FICS BUT DO NOT FETISHIZE ANY OF MY STORIES
Not sure if this is good enough. Not sure if I did the cosplay right.
The term “pussy” is used by Dean. It’s to describe the male reader’s ass.
TAGS: @gayhopefullove @softboy5393 @spnfanboy777 @elliot-damon-2006 @noyasboxdye
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You couldn’t believe you agreed to this. Now, you wished you had never accepted that bet. You looked at yourself in the mirror, you were wearing a sexy maid outfit. ‘I can’t believe I’m doing this.’ and you put on the last thing to finish the outfit, cat ears.
Now, how did this happen?
(Flashback to you, Sam, and Dean at the bar.)
“Hey, M/n, wanna make a bet?” Dean said, a smirk forming on his face. You and Dean would always compete with each other, but Dean is usually the one that wins. Whenever you do win, you’ll just rub it into his face.
Hoping to at least beat him, you accepted his bet. “Sure.” this was not going to end well later on.
“So, the bet is that whoever can drink the most without getting drunk wins.” Now, Dean had a big smirk on his face. He knew you had a low alcohol tolerance. So, this will be an easy win for him. But, being you, decided not to back down and try.
“Fine, what are the consequences?” you replied, having a lot of fate in yourself.
“So, if you win, I do whatever you want. If I win, then you must do whatever I want for an entire week. Keyword, “IF you win.” Dean said in a snarky tone. He was going to have fun with this. Sam was looking in interest, he knew you were going to lose. Dean likes alcohol and has a high tolerance.
“I will win! You just watch!” you said, what you said was far from the truth. Dean grinned before getting shots of Beer/whiskey? (I asked my friend soft, and he said, “Beer or whiskey.”)
A few moments later, you were already feeling drunk while Dean was doing just fine. (Not sure how alcohol works or how long it takes to get drunk) Dean smirked at you before landing a hand on your shoulder.
You felt his hot breath whisper into your ear. “Looks like I won.” you were too drunk to hear before passing out.
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You woke up on your bed with a massive headache. You didn’t remember anything that happened the night before until Dean came in. “Hope you didn’t forget our little bet.” Dean reminded you.
You groaned at the memory. You were stupid by accepting it now you have to face to consequences. Then, Dean threw some kind of outfit on the bed. “Wear it. Remember, since I won, you have to do whatever I say.”
You got up and looked at the outfit Dean gave you. Your mouth dropped, “WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS? Is this a cat maid outfit?!?!?!?” You yelled at Dean who just smirked at you. He walked towards you.
“You’re gonna have to do this for an entire week. Don’t worry, Sammy would never find out, he’s busy.” Dean said into your ear, nibbling at it. You blushed before walking towards the bathroom to put it on.
(Why did that sound like m/n is cheating on Sam with his brother?)
(Flashback over)
You looked at yourself in the mirror. The outfit had a small skirt that revealed your ass, a crop top, and most of all, cat ears. ‘What the hell is Dean into?’
(This is what the outfit looks like)
You walked out of the bathroom to see Dean naked sitting on your bed, only wearing his boxers/briefs. He was rubbing his big bulge which made you feel hot south of your stomach.
“Come here, my little kitten. Crawl to daddy.” Dean said, doing a hand motion for you to come to him. You rolled your eyes before getting on all fours and crawling towards him. You arched your ass, your skirt moving up to show your ass to Dean.
Dean rubbed himself through his boxers/briefs harder. Once you got to him, he ordered you, “Now, worship my cock.” Dean removed his hands and laid them on the side.
You slide Dean’s boxers/briefs off, his big cock plopped out. You gasp at the size of it. It looked to be 10 inches long, thick as hell, veiny, and large cum-filled balls ready to be milked of its essences.
Dean’s cock made you go into some kind of trace. Dean smirked at you before placing his hand on your head. “Come on, kitten.” he moved his hands through your soft h/c.
You grabbed onto the large, thick piece of meat. You slowly stroked Dean’s cock, heat was radiating from it. Dean groans as you jerked him off. You gave small kitten licks to the sides of Dean’s large cock.
The room was getting hotter and hotter. You traced your tongue against the vein that led to the head. Dean’s musk was making you go into a haze. You moved your tongue to the head of his cock and swirled your tongue, gathering all of his precious pre-cum.
“You’re doing so well, kitten! Where did you learn how to satisfy a cock? You were fucking around with other guys? Or was it with Sammy?” Dean said, impressed by your skills. He never had someone give him this much pleasure.
“Put my cock in your mouth. Keep it warm, no sucking.” Dean said, petting your head. His muscular chest is moving up and down. You followed his order.
You swallowed at least 8 inches of his cock. Dean moans at the warmth surrounding his cock. “You’re amazing, kitten.” You made eye contact with him, Dean could see hearts in your eyes. He had you wrapped around his finger.
‘Fuck…’
“If you keep looking at me like that, kitten, I may just cum.” Dean said, grinning at you. You could feel his cock twitching inside your mouth.
“I don’t wanna cum just yet, I wanna do it somewhere else. Get up here, kitten.” Dean ordered, pulling your head off his cock. His entire cock was wet with slobber mixed with pre-cum. He picked you up and sat you on his lap.
You felt his raging cock pressed against your back. Dean’s hands began to move up your sides. “D-Dean…” your cock was leaking pre-cum under your little skirt. Soaking the panties that Dean gave you.
“Don’t call me Dean, kitten. Call me daddy. Now, let daddy touch you.” Dean said, moving his hands down and grabbing your cock, jerking you off. You moaned as Dean jerked you off and him leaving small kisses on your nape and shoulders.
“You taste delicious baby. So, good for me. Want me to fuck you dumb?” Dean said, jerking your cock off faster. You nodded your head, but that wasn’t enough for Dean. “Words, kitten. Daddy wants to hear you speak.”
“P-please… daddy! F-fuck me!” you begged, grinding your ass against his cock. Dean smirked before sliding your panties aside and slamming his cock into your hole.
“AHHHH!” you moaned as Dean’s cock was splitting your ass into two. Your ass immediately tightened as his cock pushed deeper in. You curled your toes in pleasure. Dean groans as your ass got tighter around him.
“F-fuck, kitten. Your ass is tight. Much better than any pussy I ever fucked. I’m gonna fuck this tight little boy pussy and claim it as mine.” Dean growled into your ear before thrusting into you.
His thrusts were rough. You moaned in pain and pleasure but mostly pleasure. The room was filled with the bed squeaking, yours and Dean’s moans/groans, and the sound of skin-slapping. His heavy balls slapping against your ass.
“D-daddy! Y-you… feel so… g-good inside me!” you moaned, throwing your head back onto Dean’s shoulder as he thrusts upwards. “And your little pussy feels good wrapped around my cock.” Dean groans as your insides grow tighter.
Your face was flustered, your tongue sticking out, eyes rolled back. Dean wishes he could see your face, how his cock is showing you pleasure.
“I’m gonna cum soon, kitten!” Dean said, thrusting faster into you. Dean moves his hand towards your cock and begins to jerk you off. You moaned as you felt the familiar pit growing in your stomach.
After a few more thrusts and strokes, both of you reached your climax. “HERE'S MY MILK, KITTEN!!” Dean yelled, biting down on your shoulder. You felt his cum paint your velvet walls. His cum filled you to the brim.
You came a few seconds later. You were exhausted but Dean wasn’t. “No, resting Kitten. I have more loads in these balls. Wouldn’t want to help daddy deal with it?”
This was going to be a long week. A week full of pleasure.
THE END!
A/n: I hope you enjoyed this day! Be prepared for day 12! Bye, my🍓Little Strawberries🍓!
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kyberphilosopher · 4 years
Text
Smile
Word Count: 3467 Requested: yes. Based off ‘505′ Warnings: strong hints to sexual disposition. Spoilers if you squint.
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“I’d probably still adore you with your hands around my neck... I did last time I checked.” -Arctic Monkeys, ‘505′.
.✫*゚・゚。.★.*。・゚✫*.
With hoarse breath and unwavering eyes, you look up to the stars as you speak. “So, you’re really going to do it then?”
“I have to,” you hear him say. His voice has gotten far more mature and calm since the first time you’d heard him speak. Still angry and determined, but in an intelligent, adult way. Eren is a more capable person now. The only thing left to do is wait and see if that’s a good thing, or a bad thing. 
“What do you think are the chances of winning?” you question. A shooting star whizzes across the sky at that very moment, and it’s gone before you can think of a wish. 
You turn around to face him, but his eyes are already on you. Once upon a time, Eren’s eyes were emerald and teal and deep. Now they’re paler. They are cold and steady as a byproduct of who he’s become. It’s hard not to wonder what he’s thinking about when he looks at you like this, especially since he’s become harder to read over the years.
At first, Eren was one of the most insufferable people you’d ever met. He acted out so often, it was hard to see him as another person of intelligent life. You mostly just minded your business through your cadet years, usually hanging around Reiner, who was also difficult to see as intelligent life. Sometimes you and Eren would argue, but it was never passionate. You just had different world views. 
Things got better when you found out what Eren really was. Since you hadn’t made top ten, you could only choose between the Garrison Regiment, or the Scout Regiment. And with Eren’s newly discovered power showing the promise of hope, you decided on the Scouts. He liked that. 
After that, it was hard not to mature at the same time as he. Eren often blamed himself for the death and carnage that surrounded the regiment. You were solely responsible for the passing of your best friend. And after everything that happened with the government, almost dying at Shiganshina- you knew you couldn’t stand this much longer. With your relationship with Eren still budding in its early and steamy stages, he was the only one you told of your desertion. You abandoned the corps, finding a small, abandoned farm within wall Maria to hide out in. 
Eren was too tired and sick of everything to think you were being cowardly. He wanted to leave too. Maybe come with you. But Eren had plans in the works that he couldn’t leave alone. He visited you less and less. Luckily you never made a fuss. 
And now Eren wants to end the world, to save the world. How does he expect you to react to this?
“I just thought I should see you,” Eren replies. You know he’s deflecting your question. You’re not stupid. 
You nod slowly, blinking as you think. “Am I going to die?”
Your companion crosses his arms calmly. “Yes,” he tells you. 
There it is. 
“You know I can’t support you in this, right?” you tell Eren, equally as calm. 
He only replies after a moment, also in deep thought. “I know.”
You look back up to the sky, sighing out through your nose. “Why did you come, Eren? Did you want me to tell you that I think you’re doing the right thing? Or was it because you need to let out some anger? I wonder.”
“I did want to see you.”
“Do you still?”
Silence. 
“Yes.”
“And I suppose there’s nothing I can do to change your mind?”
“No.”
The stars are glittering with pastel hues, like a rainbow, or kaleidoscope. Each one is a different size, bordering on different shapes, all fusing and melting together like your idea of heaven. You can barely even see the midnight color of the sky through all them. It is beautiful, but it’s also bitter. Everything is bitter, here. 
“I didn’t make myself any dinner yet,” you say. “Couldn’t think of anything.”
.✫*゚・゚。.★.*。・゚✫*.
When she was alive, Eren’s mother would make a soup for the family. It was creamy, hot, filled with meat and cheese at the bottom. Eren never liked soup, but he did love that dish. She was always sure to make extra for him, so that he could enjoy it for several days. And although it wasn’t until after she was gone that Eren realized he rarely ever thanked her for it, it was still one of the warmest memories Eren had. 
He fills your wooden bowl with it, being awfully generous. He knows that even though you haven’t eaten much in the last few years, you too had grown fond of the soup. He knows no matter how slowly you force it down, you are enjoying it. It burns the roof of your mouth every time, but you’ve never cared. All that matters is the creamy sauce, and the cow cooked to perfection. 
You stare at the fireplace beside you, flames cackling and licking upward. Eren sets the bowl in front of you, and takes the seat on the other side. You know he sets his long hair behind his shoulders. You’re already prepared. From your pocket, you produce a stretchy brown hair tie on the verge of snapping, handing it to him. 
“Thanks,” he says, even though this routine has happened however many times he’s seen you. 
“You’re welcome.”
The soup is as amazing as usual. You’re willing to bet Eren makes it even better than his mother did, but you dare not say it aloud. It’s creamy, perfectly seasoned. It goes down your throat, still steaming. 
“Does Mikasa know about this?” you question, taking one more delicious bite. 
“No. None of them do,” Eren answers. “Armin will figure it out soon.”
“You want me to kill ‘em?”
Eren shakes his head. To a lot of people, this would be taken as a joke. But this is nowhere near it. Your tone is too casual, too low for it to be humor of any kind. And the way the man across from you reacts- he’s thinking the same thing. 
“No.”
“How are they, then?”
Eren thinks as he takes another bite, the warmth creeping up his chest sweetly. “They’re alright for now. I don’t know for how much longer. I can’t see everything.”
“Can you see who’s next?”
He squints at his bowl as if he were angry, but his eyebrows barely move. “Sasha.” 
Sasha. She was always a good presence to have around. While she seemed like the type of person who would annoy you, it was hard to hate her. And you admired her keen intuition anyway. 
“Will you give her something for me?”
Eren nods. Then you both go back to eating for a few seconds, basking in the orange glow from the flames. 
“How are things here?” he questions after a minute. 
“The same,” you tell him. “I think the cow might die soon.”
Some people might reply with condolences, or sympathy. But your lover does not, and you do not expect him to. “I’ll get you a new one,” he says flatly, almost like a promise. You nod once.
Despite the atmosphere which can only be described as bitter, you’re glad to see Eren again. You’re glad that he’s alive, and as alright as he can be. The bed is always colder without him, heated up only by your lingering fingers that you pretend are his every other night. Whenever he leaves an article of clothing behind, usually on purpose, you hold off on washing it so it can smell like him for you as long as possible. Then there are the hair ties you keep either in your pocket or on your wrist, specifically for him. The razors in your cabinet he often didn’t even bother using. 
Even with the sullen demeanor that had managed to overtake both of you, there was at least one thing you cared about in the world still. Maybe it wasn’t the most conventional kind of caring, or the healthiest coping mechanism. But it was still caring. And all that you cared about was him. 
You knew you weren’t Eren’s first priority. You were probably second, or third. It didn’t bother you. Eren’s head was one of the first things lost when the truth was presented to him. It came back coldly and sternly, in contrast to how previously hot and impatient it had been. But by then your head had also grown colder and sterner. In simpler terms, Eren did care for you. He did love you. But he would consider letting you die if it meant achieving what he set out to do, and you knew this. 
Across the table, Eren lifts his head to look up at you as he chews slowly. The burning meal slides down his throat easily, albeit painfully. It doesn’t even register with him, his piercing eyes slowly gaining a glint from the fire light. 
You meet his eyes after a few seconds, feeling them on you. You don’t say a word, don’t even give a questioning look. You just hold him patiently, which is something the two of you find yourself doing often. 
“You can’t stop it,” Eren speaks, looking you dead in the eyes with a steady gaze. There is love behind his eyes, far behind the anger, but you can tell from the tone of voice he is trying to tell you something as if it were an order. Your lips part slightly from the intensity radiating from your lover, who doesn’t move a muscle. “You’ll be free soon.” 
.✫*゚・゚。.★.*。・゚✫*.
Dinner ends. Eren helps clean up the dishes for you and goes to get water from your well so you can clean easier. You already know from the way his thumb brushed against your own when you took the bowls that you’ll likely be bent over the sink in a few minutes, which you don’t mind, but you wonder if he’ll be willing to be softer than usual as an apology for what he’d said earlier. 
He’d meant to scare you. You’re intelligent enough to figure that out. Even though you don’t scare easy, and you didn’t even give an extreme reaction, the look in Eren’s eyes had made your heart drop to your stomach. Sometimes you forget that Eren sees everything. Then he says something like that to remind you in the most memorable way. 
The wooden door opens and closes behind you. Boots scuff the ground for a few seconds, drawing closer and closer as something in you sparks with anticipation, as it always does. A pail of water hits the surface beside you, partially sloshing over the sides, shining silver in the moonlight from the tall window in front of you. Finally, ultra hot hands slide around your waist and push gently but tightly against where your ribs diverge. 
A jaw leans down on your right shoulder, chin poking against your collarbone. Locks of hair brush against your own, just as the hand on the left runs across your side to finally put a small band in your pocket. 
“I did miss you,” Eren’s low voice seemingly growls, his chest rumbling softly against your back. 
“I was thinking about you,” you admit with monotone, knowing your lover can read through it like as easily as a knife slices through skin. 
“I hope I didn’t worry you,” he says, though you can also read through his own tone. He probably didn’t care about worrying you. He definitely doesn’t still. 
“You didn’t.”
You place a both bowls in the sink, running your fingers over the dirty spoons. Eren’s orbs follow your movement. You can feel his chin change positions ever so slightly in the coming seconds. 
“Can you pass me the rag?” you ask, eyes focused on a piece of food on the spoon that doesn’t even exist. 
In response, Eren doesn’t pass you anything. Only his right hand gives you any kind of acknowledgement, passing from on your ribs to down lower. His fingertips skin over the erogenous zone under the waistband of your undergarments. 
“I worried about you,” Eren murmurs boldly. The hot fingertips pass under the cloth finally, pricks of stubble on his jaw scratching your neck and shoulder as he shifts. “I wanted you to be okay.” His left hand raises to grasp the breast above it. Slowly at first, then firmly, like a warning. Everything is a warning with him. 
Your head lulls back uncontrollably. The back of your hair matts up as it rolls against his own shoulder. 
“I said you worried me,” your partner grumbles. “Did you hear me?”
“No,” you lie lowly, refusing to let your voice shake despite the shiver in your throat. 
“Mm,” Eren hums in condescending understanding. A force presses against your core, which has turned burning hot and ice cold at the same time. The force pulls away, a string of something smooth and slimy following it that makes a sound draw from your lips. It’s high pitched, weak, and unstoppable. You’d be embarrassed if you weren’t so associated with Eren. 
His hand gives your breast a firm squeeze, soreness blossoming from the center. Your back arches quickly and returns lax against him, though now something pokes against your bottom that makes your eyes pop open with a new alertness. Eren’s hand gives you no time again. From your chest, it flies to your throat, holding it back with soft strictness as the other finally dips into the hot pool between your hips. 
“I worried about you.”
A strangled groan releases from between your lips again, this time fully carried up through the air. To Eren, it must sound like nothing more than music, or background noise. 
Thick cylinders pump inside you to the knuckle. They feel better than your own. They always have. 
It feels good. Full. Tight and fast and like the inside of you is quivering under the weight of something that you can’t see or hear. Eren is like a blanket supporting you from falling over, keeping you upright with his grip and his fingers buried inside of you. Prodding every angle, every spot. Not necessarily romantically, but still lovingly. He has always had this goal during intimacy. Nothing matters but communicating to you just how close he wants to be. 
“Eren,” you choke, a dribble of spit sliding from the corner of your lips. 
“Again,” he hisses in response. His fingers hit a tight spot, making every muscle in your body clench at the same time. 
You don’t say another word, your mouth hanging partially open as you focus on everything around you. And it’s all Eren Jaeger. His smell, his growls, his voice, his breathing, his chest, his muscles, his hair, his anger, his bitterness, his intelligence, his determination. It’s overwhelming. It reminds you of getting swept in one of those waves at the ocean he described to you. He’s yours. No- more likely, you’re his. End of story. 
“I said again.”
“Eren,” you moan.  
His head nuzzles into your neck comfortingly, his fingers pushing faster and harder. You can feel how warm you are, never mind how slick. And the way your own body holds around his digits every time he pulls away is enough to make you all the more warm and slick. 
But then...
What is he doing?
He had said “you’ll be free soon”. And yet, here he is, gripping you tightly as he forces you into the corner of submitting. And yes, it is hot. It arouses you as it always has. But something about it makes your stomach turn into a knot of unpleasantness, in contrast to the other one of liquid pleasure. 
“Eren,” you strain, squirming against him. 
Eren speeds up again. A grunt falls from his own mouth from his own power, and you know he’s getting off almost as much as you are. It doesn’t stop feeling good. Feeling euphoric. 
It’s getting rougher. Rougher and harder and faster, more intense. 
“Eren.”
Another gruff moan from him. 
“Eren! Stop! Stop!”
Eren’s palm softens away at once. It lifts away, his eyes opening and his hand stilling inside of you. He watches you shake as you gaze up to the ceiling, wide eyed. Your thighs sputter, entire body twitching. You didn’t cum. 
His eyes trail over you. You’ve worked up a steady sweat glistening and glowing, shivering and shaking and quaking because of him in the best way. You’re his. His partner, his friend, his ally he knows for a fact he can rely on.
“C-can we... Eren...” 
.✫*゚・゚。.★.*。・゚✫*.
Drips of water dribbling down Eren’s temple. One of your hands are threaded in his brunette locks, holding them back so you can have an uninterrupted view. The other hand is dabbing cloth against his forehead and hairline, bathing him softly. 
He’d gone a while without bathing again. You could tell. Eren’s eyes are glued to yours, deep teal memorizing all the flecks in your own as if he hadn’t a million times over. 
Eren loves you. Dearly. He’d travel all seven hours and forty five minutes just to tell you that. He doesn’t know what made you stop earlier. He doesn’t ask. But he’s not mad. Overall, Eren understands that it doesn’t matter what you asked to stop for. You give the word, he obeys. Not because he has to, but because he loves you. 
Still, he knows something is wrong. You don’t show it. You’re steady, calm, mature, apathetic as always. But in the pit of Eren’s stomach, something brews. A warm, strange feeling of intuition and omniscience. 
“You look very pretty today,” Eren ventures, wondering only of your response. “Did I tell you that?”
Your eyes squint. “Thank you,” you reply back. 
The cloth continues to rub against his skin, cleaning something that probably doesn’t even exist. Dirt, maybe. Eren’s stopped taking care of his skin in the past few years. 
“You’re welcome.”
Your eyes squint again. This time, they gloss over with sharp wetness like glass. The eyebrows crease like a break, your bottom lip trembling as you suck it between your teeth. 
He doesn’t know what he was expecting. But your lover wasn’t expecting this. 
Eren hates when you cry. He can remember the first time he’d seen it, but not the most recent. You didn’t cry often- you were strong. Crying over something as useless and flimsy as emotions didn’t seem worth it. So what was this for? What were you about to make Eren break down inside over?
Your hand falls limply from his forehead. Shoulders hunch over in defeat, staring down at the floor as your hair covers over your face. And then the sniffles come, choked out coughs like sobs. 
Eren can see the lightest of bruises he’d left on you from earlier, but you’d never had a problem with it before. No, it was something else. But what?
Silent, your teeth grit together as you wince, tears streaming down your face inexplicably. 
“Earlier w-when you,” you gulp, snot beginning to form, “when you- I did worry a-about you. I- I don’t know why I didn’t...”
You stumble forward. Eren stands from your bath tub to catch you as you slump against him tiredly. 
“I hate it when you go.”
Eren switches positions with you, pushing you down to sit on the edge of the tub. He takes the wet rag from your hand and holds your shoulder back so he can have a good look at you. Then the cloth dabs against your own forehead, just as you had done to him. 
“I hate it here,” you sigh, a single tear drop blurring your vision as it falls finally. 
Your lover moves the cloth from your head to your cheeks, smearing the wetness into your skin and away. They moisten and dry, your eyes red and shiny. Eren tilts your head up under your jaw, creasing his brows and using the towel to clean closer to your eyes. 
“If it helps,” he says, looking straight into your eyes, “you’re crying, but I still think you look pretty.”
You’d be lying if you said that didn’t help even a little, because you love him. 
A soft smile creeps to your lips, your hands dropping in between your thighs. 
.✫*゚・゚。.★.*。・゚✫*.
No I didn’t reread this lmfao enjoy. Hope I did you justice anon
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anonquack · 3 years
Text
| Best Friend |
Alex Quackity x Reader, Oneshot!
Word Count: 10661
Warnings: Some curse words and overthinking. This one got a bit long!
Summary: After a CC Convention is announced, you and your friends plan to meet up for it. You expect to enjoy yourself with friends but instead are forced to deal with feelings you didn't even know you had. Luckily, your friends are there to give you a push in the right direction.
"Okay but height comparison between Quackity and Sapnap when??" You asked midst all the chaos occurring on that wonderful night. Despite your busy schedule, you'd gotten some time off to finally stream and some friends to keep you company.
Which resulted in this mess of a stream you were now broadcasting.
Your question caught their attention, and a soft scoff could be heard from Sapnap's mic.
"You're kidding, right? You're basically saying you need to CHECK that I'm taller when we already know that's true. You're insulting me." Sapnap said, the cockiness evident in his tone. You couldn't help but stare at your monitor in amusement at how sure of himself he sounded.
"That's not true. Literally check the height check Karl and I had versus the one Sapnap had with him." Quackity argued back, earning scoffs from almost everyone on the call.
"I know you're trying to use that to back you up, but you're just proving my point." Sapnap was intense whenever he became competitive or got into arguments, so you could only raise your brows as you watched chat fly by with their own opinions on the discussion, including their very questionable comments regarding Sapnap and how attractive he was being.
"Well, personally," Bad quipped in, "I think Sapnap's the taller one. Just makes the most sense since Quackity gives off Short Person Energy."
"Yeah? Well keep that WRONG opinion to yourself. That shit's embarrassing-"
"Language!" Bad interrupts Quackity, eliciting a laugh from everyone on call.
"You know chat," you call out after pondering on a solution for a bit, "We can figure this all out during the meetup!"
"Meetup?" Bad asked, confusion evident in his tone. You could almost see his furrowed brows and confused smile.
"Yes, Bad, meet-up. All four of us. Plus the others. And you guys, if you decide to go." The last bit was directed at the viewers. "Don't you remember? The convention is a thing that's supposed to be happening this year."
"Ohhh." He let out a small sound, as if his memory was finally coming back. "I haven't decided if I'm going yet." He admits softly.
"You most certainly are! You have to be there so I can beat BOTH Sapnap and you up once we all find out I'm the taller one." Quackity chimes in finally, teasing tone evident.
"As if," Sapnap scoffs, "Bad and I will literally kick your ass."
"Language." Soft as ever, and also a sign that it's getting late. You look over at your monitor, which displayed the time before letting out a small gasp.
"Oh- it's late. I hope I haven't been keeping you guys awake for too long. It's probably best we end for tonight anyway." You hum softly as you click some tabs away, noticing the faint sounds of stretching heard in the background of the call.
"It's fine, I wasn't even tired until you mentioned how late it was. You should've kept quiet." Quackity says with a patronizing tone, to which you simply chuckle.
"Thank you guys for sticking around. I really had a lot of fun.. we should do this more often. Us four." It was an honest confession, but perhaps too soft for them all and too personal for the audience to listen in on too.
"I had fun too, you should invite me to your streams more often, or, whatever." Sapnap mumbles, sounding a bit tired as well, but sincere despite the lack of care in his words.
It results in a small smile on your face anyway.
"Bye!! Thank you for inviting us, I'm gonna miss messing around with you all. Sleep well." Bad adds, a small whine to his voice as they all start saying their goodbyes.
As they finish up their goodbyes, you quickly deafen to start saying your own goodbyes to chat and thanking the last minute subs rolling in.
After all is over, you finish closing up the tabs, leaving the discord one last. As you're about to officially leave the call, you realize there is still one person there. He hadn't left.
"Quackity-?" You'd voiced out in confusion after undeafening. You'd thought they'd all leave while you took your sweet time saying goodbye.
"Yeah?" He sounded confused by your own confusion. You couldn't help the small smile that appeared on your face.
"Were you waiting for me to end or did you just forget to leave the call?" It was a genuine question, but perhaps a teasing tone slipped in towards the end.
"I was waiting, I'm not an asshole nor a dumbass." He lets out a laugh before continuing. "I just wanted to say I had fun tonight."
You hummed softly, "I'm glad you did. I had fun too."
"If I'm being honest, I wasn't feeling all too well, and just, joking around with you.. Sapnap, and Bad.. well it was just really nice. Thank you." His tone was soft, filled your headphones so nicely and brought comfort into the air.
"Oh, well it's good that you're feeling better now, but if you ever aren't feeling up for a stream.. please tell me, okay? Your wellbeing is much more important to me than a scuffed stream."
"No no, it's fine. I needed something to distract myself with and you all helped so much. It really got me excited for the meet-up. I- I can't wait to hang out with you in person. With all of you, I mean."
The smile on your face grew, almost to the point where it had your cheeks hurting. "I can't wait to hang out with all of you either. Good thing we won't have to wait long, hm?"
Faint sounds in the background of stretching and even softer yawns. "Mhm. Do you wanna switch to phone call?"
It was the usual invitation to fall asleep on call together. At this point, it almost felt strange whenever you headed to bed without Quackity mumbling stuff about his day to you or hearing the soft breathing sounds from his end of the call.
"Sounds good. Talk to you in a bit." You smiled, hearing a small bye from him before leaving the call. You turned off your whole setup for the night and headed straight to your bed.
It didn't take long for the phone to start ringing a few moments after you'd managed to lay down.
"Hi." You answered softly, placing the phone next to your head as you covered yourself with your blankets. It was only a matter of time before the sleepiness took over, but for now you'd enjoy Quackity's company.
"Hey." Was his response, voice sounding much closer now that you were laying down with your phone so close to your ear. It almost felt like he was laying down beside you.
You wondered for a split second what that would be like, if he'd be warm and welcoming or if he'd value his personal space while sharing a bed. As friends, of course.
You refocused on his voice as he began talking about his plans for the meet-up, and all the things he wanted to do once you all were in person. It was so sweet to hear how excited he was, and just how much he wanted to do with you all.
Sweet moments like these make you hyper-aware of the amazing friends you have, and how much love you have for them all. Tonight couldn't have been better, all thanks to them.
As the meet-up date gets closer, and more interactions happen during streams / calls / messages, it becomes more evident how much your friends mean to you; just how badly you want to meet all of them.
And as the date for the meet-up gets closer, responsibilities such as packing for your trip join your very long To-Do list.
You're on the phone with Bad as you both choose clothes to take, folding and packing them nicely. Making conversation, with Rat barking in the background occasionally, as the cherry on top.
Moments like these make you realize how good of a friend Badboyhalo is. He's kind, always knows what to say to help people feel better. He's funny, he's charming, full of love and support for his friends.
You two had been joking around on FaceTime for quite some time after you'd packed all essentials. He showed you tricks he'd managed to teach Rat, and you gave him an apartment tour.
Neither of you seemed to be getting tired, so you stayed on call until somehow you ended up sprawled on your sofa, laptop at hand, screen sharing YouTube videos. Bad was resting comfortably on his bed as small giggles left him at the absurdity of the videos you two were watching.
Every few minutes a small "We should do that," or a "Imagine Sapnap doing that," or a "I want to meet you all so bad," would be murmured into the air with only a hum of agreement to compliment it. It only made you yearn for your friends even more.
"Bad." You called out after quite a few random videos and lids getting heavier with each second.
"Yes?"
"When I see you, I'm gonna hug the shit out of you. I hope you know that." You said, small smile on your face as you watched his head lift up from the pillow at such a fast speed.
"Language-! But well, that would be nice. I will also be giving you tons of hugs. To all of you." He pauses for a second before continuing. "I was actually kinda nervous for the meetup, but now I'm just so excited."
"I'm really glad to hear that, Bad. I will make sure you enjoy yourself to the max."
"Thank you y/n," he replies softly, resting his head against the pillow again, "I will make sure you enjoy yourself too."
You smiled at the state he was in, you two would fall asleep in no time, so your thoughts were honestly incoherent, and your tongue could not be tamed as your thoughts wandered aimlessly.
"Do you think I can take Sapnap and Quackity in a fight? In case they try to beat me up?"
"I doubt they'll try to beat you up, they'll be too busy fighting each other, and he'll be too busy thinking about how cute you are." His words were slightly slurred at this point, and all you could do was laugh as you imagined a fight between Sapnap and Quackity as fans tried getting a picture with them.
It crossed your mind for half a second to ask who exactly would be thinking such a thing, but any sign of a functioning brain between you two was nonexistent at that very moment. So all you really said was, "Good. But I'm still going to be prepared just in case."
After so many excited calls and planning, the day was finally here. Everyone would be traveling out today to meet up at the house you'd all managed to rent for the week / weekend you guys would be staying there. This way, you'd all be able to maximize the time spent together, and also save money. It sounded like a wonderful idea, really.
After arriving in the city, you patiently waited for the driver that'd be taking you there. You couldn't help but realize just how anxious you were starting to feel. The moment when you'd meet all your friends was getting closer and closer. What if it wasn't everything you'd expected? Or if it was awkward?
The ride there was too quick. Before you knew it, you were pulling your luggage out the trunk and heading up the path that lead to the front door. You stood still for a few seconds before your knuckles were knocking against the firm wood. The noise echoing for a few seconds as you stood in anticipation.
The door swung open, and with a big grin, you were pulled into a hug by no other than Badboyhalo. You quickly wrapped your arms around him as well, not wanting to let go. He was finally here! And he was real! Real, so so real. Any concerns you had on the way here slowly dissipated the longer he had you in his warm hold.
"Bad!" You said happily, slightly squishing him as your embrace tightened for a few seconds. Seriously too good to be true, but true nonetheless.
As he finally pulled away to smile at you, you felt lightheaded at the insane rush of dopamine in your system. As your head finally cleared up, you realized someone else was walking towards you two.
He wore a small smile on his face as he approached, it slowly growing as he got closer and as excitement became harder and harder to contain.
"Quackity." You called out, face lighting up immediately at the sight of him.
"Hi." He responded, sheepish smile on his face. Had he always looked this good?
It only took a few steps before your arms were around him, pulling him close. Although your firm grip caught him off-guard, he managed to melt into the hug soon after, arms wrapping around you as well.
"Big Q! Quackity! Alex!" You smiled as you pulled away, hand reaching up to give his cheek a light squish. You couldn't really help yourself, he was just too pleasing for your eyes. If the dopamine from earlier wasn't already too much, having him this close and feeling oh so real was even more deadlier.
He laughed at your affectionate touch, obviously not having enough of you either. It didn't take long for him to pull you back in for another embrace. "Holy shit." he mumbled into the hug, "You're actually fucking here. I can't believe it y/n." His tone was soft and it had you melting into his embrace all over again. It was intoxicating in the best way, but eventually you both pull away, smiling at each other with so much appreciation.
You hadn't really taken into account just how excited you were to see all your friends, especially someone as important as Quackity. The one you told almost everything to during late night calls, the person you could honestly consider a best friend. All of them were that to you, but it just felt so much stronger with him. You didn't really know how to explain it.
Before you could even give your mind time to dwell, Quackity was being pulled off you by none other than Sapnap and Karl, which quickly replaced Quackity's arms with their own.
"Guys!!" You called out happily as you hugged them back just as tightly. "Am I really the last one here? Where's Dream, or George?"
"We've literally been waiting like an hour for you to get here! We were all getting impatient." Karl laughed as he finally pulled away from the hug.
"Seriously impatient." Mumbled Sapnap into your shoulder before letting go from the warm embrace. "What took so long?"
"Sorry that I don't live as close to here as you guys do. My flight took longer than expected too."
"Who cares! At least you're finally here." Dream's voice, followed by heavy footsteps on the floor, and laughter as George ran over to where you stood with your suitcase.
"Y/N!! We're all finally together." You almost closed your eyes instinctively from how bright his smile was. George's energy was so contagious, you couldn't help but return the energy he was giving you.
Finally, you turned to Dream, who was standing there in all his tall glory.
"Holy shit." You mumbled as you eyed him from head to toe. "You're so fucking tall."
Laughter erupted from everyone before big arms wrapped around you, filling you with warmth and love. You were finally here with all your friends, and it was better than you could've ever imagined.
"Okay," Karl announces once everyone had greeted each other and given all the much needed hugs, "We were actually thinking movie night so we can all just relax and enjoy each other's company. What do you think, y/n?"
"You aren't getting any complaints from me. What movie are we watching?"
At that, Karl and Sapnap raced off to see who could get the remote control faster. You assumed it was in regards to who had the power to choose what everyone watched.
You watched in amusement as Karl and Sapnap argued over what movie to watch, George chiming in here and there just to fuel the lighthearted argument.
"Did you think they'd be just as annoying in person?" You jumped slightly at the sudden voice coming from behind you, but quickly relaxed as Quackity stood beside you.
"No, I also didn't think it was such a big deal who got to choose the movie." Your eyes trailed back to the arguing pair.
"Oh hush. The food Dream ordered isn't even here so really we're doing you all a favor. Taking our time to choose wisely." Karl argued back, to which Dream laughed.
"I guess that's one way to see it, but it's almost here according to the app, so hurry up."
Silence, before the arguing resumed and filled the living room with a pleasing buzz.
You watched as Dream headed over to you and gently placed his hand onto your shoulder, "Let me show you where your room is so you can get all comfy before movie night starts, yeah?"
"Thank you, Dream. I'd actually really appreciate that." With that, you gave Quackity a small wave before following after Dream. Freshening up after sitting in a plane for hours would certainly help make the rest of the night 10x more pleasant.
Once you'd walked back out into the living room, you saw everyone had their plate of food, everyone already comfy in their spots.
You looked around before spotting the empty seat beside Alex and the plate of food you assumed was for you.
"Hurry! He's not gonna bite. Sit down so we can finally start movie night." Sapnap whined the longer you stood around.
"I wouldn't be too sure about that.." George mumbled before receiving a stiff elbow in the ribs from the person seated next to him.
"Language." The last fatal blow.
Dream chuckled before pointing at the available seat. "We even waited for you in order to start eating, so sit your ass down."
You playfully rolled your eyes as they all started complaining about how long you were taking. You sat down beside him, giving him a glance before picking up the plate of food before you. It was still nice and steamy, just like Dream had said it would be after dropping you off in your room. You hadn't realized just how hungry you were until now.
After taking a few bites and hearing the movie start, your gaze returned to the person peacefully sat next to you, taking a few seconds to truly take in the sight before you.
He was wearing a plain black short-sleeve shirt, and some basketball shorts. He looked so comfortable. And even indoors with friends, the beanie kept his hair away from his face and hidden, poorly, but hidden nonetheless.
You smiled as you got comfortable as well, admiring how the light from the TV illuminated his face before finally deciding to focus on the actual entertainment Karl and Sapnap had worked so hard to pick. All for movie night.
The movie was interesting, and you couldn't help the few times you almost choked on your food due to all the jokes being slipped in throughout the movie. Maybe Karl was right about how it takes time to pick the perfect film that fit the mood. A good laugh, some good food, and the company and comfort from friends was the best thing to do on the first day together.
Before you all knew it, you were 2 movies in and all in drowsy states.
Everyone excused themselves, the exception being George and Quackity whom had fallen asleep towards the end of the second movie. Dream agreed to wake George up, meanwhile you turned to the sleeping figure next to you.
He looked too cute, mouth slightly open from the uncomfortable position he'd fallen asleep in. You gently shook his shoulder. "Alex." You called out a few times, until finally his eyes fluttered open and he slowly looked around in confusion.
"You fell asleep during the movie. We're all heading to bed for the day, come on."
Regardless of his sleepy state, he stood and followed as you two headed to your rooms.
"Goodnight, Alex."
"Night, y/n."
As you finally laid in your bed for the next week, you couldn't help but feel so fortunate to have such a wonderful opportunity to meet all of your friends and share a home with them.
You couldn't wait to see what tomorrow had in store for you all.
It was a lazy morning and lazy afternoon the next day, the only exceptions being going out for lunch, but besides that everything was done in the comfort of their home.
Dream, Sapnap, and Karl were busy playing a multiplayer game in the living room while Bad, George, and Quackity messed around in the kitchen, eating snacks and making up the absolute dumbest shit to stay entertained.
It seemed difficult to choose which group to spend time with, but you found yourself headed towards the kitchen within seconds of contemplation. Sitting on a chair laughing at George's dumb jokes, egging Bad on, and laughing along to Quackity's contagious laughter.
You found yourself coincidentally seated beside Alex as you all continued to chat and mess around. After some time, the other three joined in, and dinner was ordered so they could all eat together after a long day of lazing around.
You'd all rented out the house for a few days before the convention in order to be able to enjoy more time together, so lazing around today hadn't really seemed like a waste of time, or like it could've been spent better. You'd definitely suggest actually going out for dinner rather than just ordering online for the rest of your stay though.
Before you knew it, chaotic dinner was over and people were headed straight to bed, a certain pair deciding to stay awake just a bit longer in the living room.
You rolled your eyes at their bullshit excuses before heading straight to your room. You quickly changed into sleepwear before sitting in bed and simply scrolling through social media. Honestly, you were tired but not to the point where you could easily doze off. Something felt like it was missing, and you silently racked your brain for answers while continuing the mindless scrolling on your phone.
About 30 minutes later, there was a soft knock on your door. Any distraction was welcome at this point, so you called out to let them know they could walk in.
Before you stood Alex, who seemed to be fresh out of the shower. He was in his sleepwear as well, but the beanie was nowhere in sight. His black hair was out in display, most likely to let it dry, but such a sight still had you in shock.
Not that you hadn't seen it before, but it always surprised you. No matter how many glimpses Quackity provided you with.
You stared in shock for a few seconds longer before snapping out of it and telling him to come in. He smiled and sat down on the edge of your bed.
"I couldn't sleep." He stated, before deciding to further explain. "I almost called you right now before going to bed.. I guess that's just how used I got to our calls-? But then I realized you're literally in the same house as me."
Ah. So was that what was missing? The reason why you couldn't doze off as easily? Because you weren't on call with him?
"That's true, I guess." You hummed before chuckling, "What's wrong with talking on the phone while we're here too?"
"You kidding? I'm not trying to be like Dream and Sapnap who still voice call and barely see each other even though they literally live together." You laughed at his comment, making him laugh as well at the absurdity of that situation.
"So what does that mean? You came to sleep here or something?" It was a joke, really. But I mean, why else would this dude be standing here by your door, talking about how he wanted to sleep call but instead found himself here.
"If you'd let me."
You almost choked at how easily he answered, was he joking too or was he actually expecting you to let him climb into bed? To sleep, of course, but it still had you taken-aback.
"You're serious?"
"Does it look like I'm joking?"
You stared at him for a bit before shrugging, "Get in then."
Nothing wrong with 'sleep calling' in person, right? Laying in the same bed, chatting until each other's voices lulled them to sleep. I mean, just because it was in person this time didn't make it any weirder. They'd slept on call together too many times to count. This was fine.
Alex smiled as he closed the door behind him and headed onto your bed, starting to get comfortable.
As you two lay there, you couldn't help but turn to your side and simply stare over at him. His hair to be exact. He'd never had it visible for this long, on group calls, normal calls, or just showing glimpses. It felt so surreal.
"What?" He mumbled.
"It's just- your hair. It looks so nice. You look nice." You smiled at the sight before adding, "You should do a hair reveal already so everybody can see this."
He turned to lay on his side as well so he could be facing you. "Hell no. Plus, doesn't it make you feel special? Being one of the few people who have seen it? Especially up close and personal."
The last part made you realize just how close you two had gotten within the last few seconds. Being at this proximity made you realize a lot more facial details you hadn't noticed before, probably due to camera quality and pixels.
Your hand slowly reached out, coming to a halt next to his head. He realized what you were trying to do and came a bit closer, letting your fingers gently run through his hair. After a few seconds, it all felt too natural.
There you were, laying in bed with Alex, gently playing with his dark locks as you talked about who knows what and simply enjoyed each others company.
This is basically what those late night calls felt like. Except this was definitely way better. It had the physical aspect of it that calls did not. You got to see him in such perfect resolution face to face, without worrying about any possible lag. You both were real. Basking in each others presences happily.
It didn't take too long for you both to fall asleep, and it didn't take too long either for your sleeping bodies to find comfort in the heat sources nearby.
What started as a simple arm draped around the other to steal a bit of body heat turned into having him close enough to smell the scent that lingered on him from his shower. Close enough for his grip on you to feel just a bit too intimate. Close enough where maybe their noses touched.
That was possibly the comfiest 9 hours of sleep either of them had gotten in a long fucking time.
The warmth you find yourself surrounded by makes it hard to get out of bed. As you attempt to fall back asleep, you realize that you're not tired. On the contrary, this might be the most satisfied (in terms of energy and sleep) you've felt in a long time.
What the fuck??
That's when that warmth you'd loved not even a minute ago comes to mind. At first you'd thought it might've been the blanket, but one glimpse to the side answers all your questions.
Alex was the one providing you with this comfortable and lovely warmth. He'd come over last night talking about 'sleep calling' in person. How could you forget?
The tension that had spiked in your body at the realization that someone was in bed with you oozed away as you looked at his peaceful state. He looked.. cute.
A few hair strands were on his face, and you couldn't help as your hand instinctively reached out to get them off his face. You hoped it wouldn't wake him up. He looked too peaceful.
As his face came into full view now, you openly stared, noticing the little moles he had all over his face. It was like stars splattered on the night sky.
As your gaze lowered and lingered on his lips, you realized just how pink they really were. And how unbelievably soft-looking they were. It brought you back a memory of his smile from yesterday while you both ate and watched the movie. You hadn't really caught the bit that had made him laugh since you were staring at him. He had a really pretty smile.
Your thoughts were interrupted at the realization that his eyelids had fluttered open, and were now staring up at you.
Oh God. You probably looked like such a creep right now. The heat that was rising up your spine and onto your cheeks must've been obvious, since he let out a small laugh.
"Were you enjoying the view?"
His morning voice took you by surprise. Sure, you'd heard it during calls sometimes, but this was on another level. It was wonderful.
"I was debating whether or not I should wake you up. You looked too peaceful." You answered, trying your best to steady your embarrassment. It wasn't necessarily a lie. He just didn't have to know all the other thoughts that crossed your mind.
He chuckled at that, before stretching a bit. "Thanks for letting me wake up on my own." He sat up, looking over at you with a small, satisfied smile. "That might've been the best sleep I've gotten in a while."
"Me too." You admitted, soft smile on your lips meant for him and him only. He stared back before returning the smile.
You two stayed in peaceful silence before deciding now was probably the best time to get up and get some breakfast with the rest of them. "We should get dressed so we can go eat."
He simply nodded before giving a small wave, heading back to his own room.
It didn't take long before you were heading out of your room and following the faint laughter into the kitchen. They were seated at the table, barely setting plates down and getting ready to eat. Just in time.
"Y/N! Good morning." Karl smiled, waving you over to the available seat beside him. Everybody else called out their good mornings as you got settled into your seat.
"Was wondering when you'd wake up." Sapnap mumbled from the seat across you. "You and Quackity sleep so fucking much."
You tensed a bit at that. Did they know you two had slept together? In the same bed? Had they tried waking you up and found you two together?
It's not what it looks like, is what you'd probably say as an explanation. Even if they didn't ask for one.
George nods in agreement, "Sapnap and I almost went and knocked on both of your doors. But we figured you both must be tired, so we just came to get breakfast ready."
Okay, perhaps they didn't know. Afterall, they were suggesting that Quackity was still in his own room. "I'm sure he'll get here in a bit." You responded, thanking Dream as he set a cup down on the table for you.
"Finally! Sleeping beauty chooses to come grace us with his presence." Sapnap greeted. You turned your head to see none other than Quackity flipping Sapnap off as he walked into the kitchen. He was dressed for the day, and had his hair hidden away with a beanie.
"How'd you sleep?" Bad asks as Alex finally sits down at the table.
"Wonderful. Best sleep I've gotten in a while." His eyes meet yours for a bit, and you can't help but smile at the implications of his words. You'd helped him sleep well. He felt comfy with you. He smiled back before looking back to the cup being given to him.
"Mm that's good." Bad nodded, before serving whatever breakfast him and Dream had managed to cook for everyone. Bad never failed to amaze you, talented as always.
"We were planning on going out today, is everyone up for it?" George asks, looking around the table for any signs of complaints.
"Honestly I'm all for it. I want to spend time with you all, exploring or just looking around." Sapnap answered, to which you cooed.
"Aww Sapnap, we'd love to spend time with you too."
"I'd fucking hope so. Now where did you want to go, George?"
"Dream and I were researching fun things to do here and we found a pretty good list. Just need you all to say yes and we can head out after breakfast."
He wasn't getting any no's, so the plans were set. Everybody ate their breakfasts before heading out the door to wherever Dream and George planned on taking them.
As you all walked to your destination, which wasn't too far according to George, you found yourself walking beside Bad.
"So, Quackity huh?" You ripped your eyes off from where they were to look back at him.
"Huh?"
"You and Quackity." He wasn't elaborating any further, which left you confused.
"What? What about him?"
"Well, you were staring at him right now and-"
"Oh. I zoned out, Bad. I'm sorry. Hopefully you didn't get the wrong idea." You interrupted him, letting out a small laugh.
"Well, that's not really what gave me the 'wrong idea'.. it was mainly the smiles and stares you two were giving each other this morning. And well, in general. Wanna fill me in on something?" He raised his brow, putting some space between you two and the rest of them by slowing his pace.
Your eyes widened slightly as you slowed down as well. "He was staring at me?"
He nodded, before adding "As much as you were staring at him."
You opened your mouth to try and explain yourself, before you heard Dream calling out to you two, saying they found the place. You gave Bad an apologetic smile before walking with him to where the others stood.
You'd come to a place with food, alcohol, and arcade games. You couldn't have expected less from Dream and George. It was perfect for this group.
You watched as Karl and George bought the cards you'd all be using to play the games. Soon after, they came back and handed everyone their card. Everyone was ready to split off to play different games.
"Y/N and I are going to fetch a table so we can leave our stuff there." Bad said with a smile. You looked over at him knowingly before nodding in agreement.
The rest of them nodded, Sapnap grabbing Dream's arm and racing off with him to the games. Karl, George, and Quackity went off to another game, excited chatter following them.
You walked beside Bad in search of a table quietly, watching as he looked around before finally approaching a table big enough to seat you all.
He sat down, looking at you expectantly. You did the same and cleared your throat as his gaze remained on you. You let out a small sigh.
"Okay, okay, I'll tell you." He smiled a bit at that. "I mean, he came to my room last night, said he couldn't sleep, and then we slept together. That's it."
You watched as his eyes widened slightly at the information he'd just gotten before your own eyes widened.
"Wait- no no! Not like that. I meant he literally slept with me. Like we fell asleep together." You could feel the heat rushing up to your face. "He said he got used to our sleep calling and I just let him sleep in my bed. It was really comfy."
You looked up, his stunned face making the heat rise faster. "Woah. I thought the cheeky little glances you guys were giving each other was things starting to get good, but you already shared a bed with him??" He let out an amused laugh.
"It's not that big of a deal, Bad. We sleep call all the time.." You felt sort of embarrassed, hearing his reactions and telling him things that felt more intimate than they should be.
"Uh? Not a big deal?? You're kidding right?" He let out a laugh, happy smile on his face. "You guys like each other!"
"Bad-! Keep it down please.. and we certainly do not." You were sweating at this point, Bad was so energetic and happy right now, and the thought of Alex hearing any of this had you on edge.
But the most discomforting part of it all was how much truth his words held. Did you actually like him?
"Am I lying, y/n?"
I don't know, is what you would've said, if it wasn't for the confusion clouding all your senses.
"y/n?"
You looked over at him, mouth slightly open, trying to form your thoughts. "You really think I like him?"
"I mean, I've been having a feeling. Since before the meet up."
What? Was it obvious for everyone? How had it taken this long for you to realize it? Those intrusive thoughts while you were staring at him this morning in bed. Had those always been there? Was he aware of your possible feelings?
"Holy fuck, Bad. A lot of it is starting to make sense." Your eyes were slightly wide from the fear of what this implied. What this meant for your friendship with him. "I-I think I do like him."
He seemed to notice how tense and shocked you looked, so he reached out and held your hand, giving it a comforting squeeze.
At the moment, you were connecting all the pieces, and things were slowly starting to make sense. Why you acted a certain way around him, random thoughts thinking he was cute, the need to meet him as soon as possible. God, why had it taken so long for you to realize?
"I mean, at least you ended up liking a nice muffin, right?" It sounded more like a question, which had you letting out a laugh. "What I mean is that he's a good guy, liking him isn't horrible. I can see why you'd end up liking him. Plus- I think everyone can see you two are pretty close."
His words helped ease the tension building up in your shoulders, but your head was still spinning. "I know he's nice, but in what sense? As in, I'll confess and he'll reject me nicely?" You paused, tensing up at just the thought of how awkward that would be. "I'd hate to ruin our friendship just because my dumbass caught feelings."
"Language." He mumbles, before letting out a small sigh. "He's nice as in he'll be understanding if he DOES reject you. But did you miss the last part of my speech? I said your friendship with Quackity is very different, anyone can tell you guys are really close. I can see where these feelings might've come from."
"Just because we're close doesn't excuse me having feelings for him. I mean, what does that say about me? Unable to have close friends without growing romantic feelings for them?" Your voice sounds hushed, as if it's dangerous to admit your feelings out loud.
"I'd say we're close friends, do we have romantic feelings for each other?" He asks softly, playing with your fingers absent-mindedly.
"I mean, I love you tons."
"I love you too, but it's not in the way you like Quackity, right?"
You kept quiet, gently biting at the inside of your cheek. Your brain was looking for ways to invalidate your feelings, tell you it wasn't right, but Bad was fighting through that and trying to reason with you.
"We both love all of our friends, and are really close to them.. but what you and Quackity have is different. I can see why you ended up liking him. Plus.. I really don't think he'd reject you. In fact, I think he likes you too."
"Bad." You warned, unsure you could handle overthinking the possibility that he liked you too right now. The realization of your own feelings was already too much.
"I'm just saying." He says, raising both hands in playful surrender. The sight elicits a small laugh from you.
But maybe.. maybe you were a bit curious. "You really think so?"
"I wouldn't have said it if I didn't. Plus, this is coming from someone who's been friends with both of you for a very long time. I see and notice things."
"Thank you, Bad. I really appreciate you and just‐ thanks for talking this through with me." It's honest and raw. He'd watched you sit at this table, trying to work everything out in your brain, and had just been endlessly supportive.
"Of course. I'm here if you need anything, alright? Now, just relax and let's go play some games, yeah?"
"Okay.. let's go!" You smiled and tugged at his hand, leading him over to where Sapnap and Dream were playing.
There was no way you were letting your own feelings ruin the fun of good food and some arcade games. You'd deal with that later.
Bad's advice and pep talks are top tier, but sometimes he oversteps. He doesn't mean any harm, but at times it is just too much. This is one of those times.
There's just a few days left before the big convention, and honestly the time spent together so far has been an absolute bliss. And well-spent considering you've all been out and about more often.
You find yourself in the living room with all of them, joking around and making up stupid songs while Quackity plays a beat he claimed to have made himself on his phone. It's peaceful, and no joke is taken too far. Until Bad starts trying to be the 'best wingman', as he likes to claim.
"Quackity, you should write a song for them, and perform it here in front of everyone." He says as he nudges you suggestively, a knowing smile on his face. It's so sudden and you need to make sure you heard correctly. You can feel yourself tense up at the thought of Quackity making a song dedicated to you. Specifically you. No one else.
Of course, it comes off as a joke, but since Bad knows you like Quackity it just seems way more personal. It seems like he's making it so obvious, but maybe everyone else is painfully oblivious. Clueless.
"Wow Bad. You just want him to roast the shit out of me, don't you? That's messed up." You make a noise of disappointment, trying your best to sound calm and collected.
George laughs at that, "Wowww Bad, that's pretty messed up. But you should, Quackity. Make one about Y/N and their muffins. It'll be funny." George didn't know a thing, but it felt like he was making it worse. As if there was a specific reason why they teased him into making a song about you.
With the playful cheering of everyone around him, he cleared his throat and a new beat started to play on his phone. Before you knew it, he was singing about your fictional muffins and how he would order a dozen, and found a way to include Rat slander in there as well.
Maybe you were stressing out for no reason at all. Perhaps you were the only one taking it weirdly and everyone else was just joking around making stupid songs up on the spot. You took a deep breath, and began to relax.
As the night continued, you tried to avoid any possible spotlight, focusing on getting George and Sapnap to go at each other, and the others egging them on so all you really had to do was watch the chaos ensue. It would all just lead to Sapnap calling the rest of them out and starting more playful fights.
As arguments kept coming up, the one you'd all been talking about on that one stream came to mind.
"Wait.. we still haven't done that height check between Quackity and Sapnap." Karl said with a shocked laugh. "How many days have we been together exactly?"
"Too long." Dream chimed in, eager to see the short people fighting over height they didn't have. At least not compared to him.
"Oh yeah huh." Sapnap said in realization. "Stand the fuck up right now, Quackity." He stood to his full height, puffing up his chest to try and appear taller or bigger.
Quackity rolled his eyes, "You guys only brought that up because I was clearly beating you guys in that argument."
"Okay? Stand up then."
If you were a person passing by hearing this conversation, you'd think a brawl was about to break out. Maybe you'd call security. But having context, it really was just Sapnap in his arguing mood, petty and trying to prove a point. There was no way he was sitting down until he proved he was taller than Quackity.
A small grumble of disapproval left Quackity's mouth before he stood to full height. Bad walked over and lead Quackity towards Sapnap, telling them to stand back to back so everyone could see the height difference.
You sat there in anticipation as Bad got them set up, watched as they compared heights very carefully, watched as the results were announced, and watched as Sapnap cheered and screamed some shit in Quackity's face when it turned out he was a few inches taller than Alex.
To make things funnier, Dream walked over in amusement and checked their height difference himself, making the other two look so much smaller than they already did. It was always a pleasant shock seeing just how tall Dream was compared to the average person.
This lead to height checks between all of them, trying to figure out who was the tallest (easy) and who was the shortest.
After everyone had gotten tired from the playful arguments and day they had, they began leaving to their rooms to freshen up or get comfy, probably needing a break from the banter.
Dream, George, and Karl had agreed to go pick up something to eat while the rest of you guys stayed in the living room. Just chatting now, relaxing, no height wars or petty arguments. Kinda.
"By the way, I found this one cool shop with a bunch of anime stuff. You're coming with me to check it out, right?" Sapnap asks, breaking the peaceful silence that surrounded you all while scrolling on your phones.
You looked up in confusion, not sure who he was talking to. His eyes met yours, and he gave you a look that said he was waiting for your response. "You wanna go with me?" You ask, a bit shocked since you'd expect him to go with Karl or something.
"Duh. We could look through the whole shop and see what we can find. Maybe go eat afterwards." He explains with a smile. He seems excited, and his energy is just so contagious, you can't help but smile as well.
"Well, since we're all here I'm assuming we're invited as well. Right, Sapnap?"
It's Quackity, inserting himself into the conversation, eyebrows raised and lawyer voice on, ready to fight Sapnap on this. This earns him a scoff from Sapnap.
"Don't think you'll wanna come with us. I know it's not really your thing."
"Sapnap, I'm sure he can join. Don't you see he's pouting? Plus, I'm sure food will cheer the baby up." You tease, watching as Quackity's facial expression changes into a scowl.
"Yeah right. Plus, it's rude to ask them out in front of Bad and I. We're literally their plus twos."
Bad snorts. "Plus twos? He's definitely not letting us tag along now."
Sapnap nods. "You literally have so many other days you can spend with them. Let me have my moment. Ask them out yourself if you want later."
You stiffen at the implication he's making, unable to stop the confused frown that appears on your face.
"Whatever." Quackity mumbles, before quickly switching the conversation to his beanie and what he should do to stop fans from snatching it off his head.
The topic of conversation is interesting, and quite frankly very funny, but you can't help but focus on Sapnap's comment.
Surely, he meant no harm. But you can't help the feeling that your little secret you'd shared with Bad was growing more noticeable. And if Sapnap knew? How long would it take for Quackity to realize and push you away?
"Y/N?"
You blink away your state of confusion as you refocus on the conversation. "Huh?"
"I said, how does superglue sound? For his beanie and stuff." Bad had been calling out to you, trying to reinvite you into the conversation. Apparently, you'd been quiet for a while.
"You're such an asshole, Bad. You just want to see me bald so bad." Quackity huffed.
"Not true! Also language."
Bittersweet. Your own thoughts were ruining the fun conversation your friends were having. How to answer this without seeming too obvious? Not like a pining idiot?
"I mean, so what if your hair falls out? The beanie will cover it. It's worth it."
"Plus," adds Sapnap, "your fans have been saying you're bald anyway. Prove them right."
"You're all no help to me and my problems." Quackity finally mutters, earning a laugh from the three of you.
His problems. You wouldn't wanna add another by making him have to deal with a friend trying to get out of the friend zone. You really need to get your feelings in check.
Honestly, you need to get better at hiding this shit. You can't just keep going quiet or getting lost in thought whenever someone suggests anything NOT platonic between you and Alex. I mean, it's ridiculous at this point. Bad is giving you stares, Sapnap might know by now, George might know. Hell, maybe even Quackity knows.
Too much. As soon as the others get back, you excuse yourself and call it a day.
Sapnap had been serious about going to that Japanese shop. He'd woken you up early, made you get dressed, and was dragging you out the house before the others could bat an eyelid.
Honestly? You'd had a lot of fun. Watching him look through all the items, picking out everything he wanted, getting matching plushies and these tiny figurines that ended up being too fucking expensive for their size. He'd been so happy, you even offered to pay for his meal in exchange for what he'd bought you earlier.
Throughout your adventures with Sapnap, you received a few notifications from Quackity, asking what you guys were up to, when you'd be back, and whether Sapnap was forcing you to stay over there with him. Sapnap and you rolled your eyes at that last bit, sending him a picture of you two flipping off the camera. All jokes, of course, and in return you received a picture of Quackity doing the same. Then he began claiming that you guys could stay there all day for all he cared.
"Seems like someone is jealous." Sapnap had said after reading Quackity's messages. You looked over at him in surprise before he quickly pocketed your phone, dragging you along to a new section of the store he'd wanted to check out.
Did Sapnap really think so? Could there be a chance Alex actually liked you, like Bad had suggested?
Beside your overthinking, the day had been well-spent, and by the time you got home, you were ready to get out of your outside clothes and into your PJs.
As you finally walked out into the living room, you watched with an amused smile as Sapnap sat with the rest of them, showing them everything he had bought at the shop, including little gifts he'd brought for them all.
No matter how 'careless', he came across, Sapnap was truly a softie. It was endearing watching him hand out the gifts you two had bought at the shop.
You made your way over to the couch, sitting beside Quackity and giving him a smile as he raised his brow. "Don't think I forgot that picture you sent me earlier today."
"You know I didn't mean it." You mumbled as you returned your gaze to Sapnap and his cheerful smile.
"You owe me an apology. And you need to make it up to me."
You scoffed at that, "You flipped me off too."
"And? You did it first. I'm the injured party here."
"Fine." You sighed, turning you gaze back at him. "How can I make it up to you?"
"Mmm.. how about we 'sleep call' again?" You froze at his suggestion, looking over at the others to see if they were listening in on your conversation.
They weren't, all too entranced with the small rant Bad was going on about a certain manga Sapnap had bought.
How could this man just admit that you two slept together with his whole chest. Without a care in the world for who was listening.
"Is that really all you want?" Stunned was the only word to truly describe how you were feeling at the moment.
"I mean, for now. I'll have to see tomorrow if I feel any better."
You rolled your eyes at that. He would most likely take advantage of that and drag it on for as long as he could. "Did you really miss me that much, Alex? Need to make up for the time lost today?"
"Wow. You're trying to make me look desperate now?"
"I just think that's how an outsider listening in on our conversation would interpret it."
"Y'know what? Let's go right now. Since you wanna call me desperate."
Again. Stunned. How was this man acting like it was nothing? This shit wasn't normal. Last time wasn't too bad because you didn't know, but now? You'd be too focused on not making it seem romantic, just purely platonic laying on the same bed together with your friend who you don't have feelings for.
It didn't take long for everyone to start heading to their rooms. He excused himself, and you followed a few minutes after, heading to your room in a daze.
As you waited for him to come to your room, you couldn't help but wonder if it'd be the same as last time. Would you be able to play with his hair or cuddle close in a strictly platonic way? Maybe you could call him bro a few times so it didn't seem like you liked him.
Your thoughts were interrupted by the door opening and revealing him in all his glory. He looked so comfy, and the beanie was once again nowhere to be seen.
Perhaps you were overreacting, but you felt this was his way of letting you know he trusted you. That he was truly comfortable around you.
This time, he felt more at ease entering your personal space. He got into bed and got comfy on his own. It didn't take long before he was facing you again, just like last time.
You smiled at him and did the same as him, your previous plans of putting distance and calling him bro getting thrown out the window at this new sight of him.
He looked so cute, just laying there and looking at you. He looked so warm too, you couldn't wait until you actually got to pull him close and blame it on your sleepy state.
"So," he started, "how was your date with Sapnap?"
Huh? The tone really caught you off guard.
"It wasn't a date. We just went to look at some manga he wanted, and got little gifts for everyone. Went to eat."
"Sounds like a date."
You narrowed your eyes at him. What the hell was that supposed to mean?
"Well, it wasn't. Why does it matter to you though?"
"It doesn't."
"Then?? You jealous or something?" You raised a brow, genuinely confused, but also wanting to see his reaction to the last bit. Maybe it'd give you some insight on his feelings for you. If there was any.
"I'm just making sure! Sue me for trying to respect anything that could possibly be going on between you two." He paused. "I wouldn't want to be asking you to sleep with me and then it turns out you and Sapnap are a thing."
You paused and simply stared at him. Was this dude serious? He was worried about you and Sapnap dating, when in reality you liked HIM? Sick and twisted.
"Well, you don't have to worry about that. Sapnap and I aren't a thing. I like someone else." You answered, and honestly you don't know why you said that.
He paused for a bit, expression unreadable before simply nodding. "And is it possible to know who this someone is??"
How did you end up in this position? It wasn't that long ago that you were confessing to Bad about your feelings for Alex while surrounded by fucking arcade games. And now you were in bed with him while he asked who your crush was. Leave it to you to mess up this badly.
You took a few more moments to just lay there with him, hand eventually going to his hair and gently playing with it. "I don't want to ruin anything." You finally responded.
It was the truth. You could just tell him, but you wouldn't be able to live with yourself if your revelation lead to him growing distant, or him rejecting you and ruining the rest of the trip.
At that, he sat up, making your hand slip out from where it had been playing with his hair. "Are you afraid you'll hurt my feelings?"
You sat up as well, staring at him for a bit before shaking your head. "I'm afraid you'll hurt mine."
"I wouldn't dare." He said reassuringly, hand reaching out to intertwine with yours.
It might've been the adrenaline rushing through your body, or the pessimist in you just telling you to get over with it, but you sat there and confessed that you liked him.
At first, there wasn't much of a response beside his wide eyes and stunned smile. You didn't necessarily know what that meant. Was he on the verge of laughter or was he shocked because he liked you as well?
The silence was killing you, and you swear you could feel tears threatening to spill as he continued to just stare. Nothing could've possibly been worst than his silence at that moment.
"You really do like me? Me, Alex Quackity?" Were his first words, and you watched as he shook his head, as if he was trying to make sense of it all.
"I don't expect you to feel the same or-"
"No no. You like me?"
He was trying to get you to repeat it, or admit it again, but it was torture.
"... I do."
He smiled at that, coming closer and using his free hand to cup your cheek. "Yeah? Well, it's your lucky day because.. I like you too."
You really couldn't believe what you were hearing. Bad had been right about him liking you as well. If he found out, he'd brag about being right and being the 'best wingman' for so long.
"Seriously?" It never hurt to double check.
"Yeah."
And with that, the distance between you two was closed. Soft lips pressed against each other awkwardly at first, not used to kissing your best friend, but it soon melted into a sweet first kiss.
After he pulled away, you gently cupped his cheeks as well, smiling at just how unbelievable this was. The guy you'd been unknowingly pining for this whole time actually liked you back, and you'd just kissed him on your bed. Bonus: he was staying the whole night for some cuddles.
You laid back down, pulling him with you and simply wrapped your arms around him, leaving small and shy kisses on his cheek, not used to this at all, testing what was okay and what wasn't. But his smile and kisses he was giving you as well told you he was more than fine with this.
"Does this make up for it?" You mumble against his own lips, teasing tone evident.
"Yes, yes it does."
The next morning was when the countdown finally came to an end. The day you'd all been waiting for; The Convention.
You knew this meant getting up, eating breakfast, and starting to get ready. It was a big day.
But when Quackity wanted to lay down for just a bit longer, how could you possibly say no?
This lead to you both having to walk out of your room and head straight to the kitchen 15 minutes later. There was no time to waste by pretending to have come out of your own rooms and at different times.
As you both approached the dinner table and sat down, you realized the table was dead silent, all eyes on both of you.
You looked up, making eye contact with Bad. He had this knowing grin on his face, and you couldn't help it as you felt the heat rushing up to your face. Quackity seemed unfazed by it all, simply yawning and beginning to eat his breakfast.
"So did it work or what?" Sapnap broke the silence, an expectant look on his face as he stared between you and Quackity.
"What are you talking about?" You asked, now feeling very confused.
Bad couldn't hold in his laughter any longer, and burst out into happy giggles.
"Well we were trying to make Alex get jealous so he could finally make a move. Did he do it?" Sapnap asked. Karl was smiling wide, trying to cover it with the sleeve of his sweater.
Did this mean that Karl, Sapnap, and Bad all knew you two liked each other? Had these three plotted this shit? Getting you two to realize your own feelings?
"What? You did that shit on purpose?" It was Quackity's turn to be dumbfounded.
"Duh. We figured we'd give you guys a little push in the right direction." Sapnap had a satisfied smile on his face.
You couldn't help but feel embarrassed. Your friends had worked together to make you both come to terms with your feelings. Since you two were so oblivious. Wow.
"I hate to say it since it means you actually helped,,, but it did work. We talked last night and well.. we both confessed." There was a soft smile on his lips as he told the others about what had happened.
Bad let out a small cheer, clapping his hands excitedly before congratulating you both on talking out your feelings.
"Okay now that the lovebirds are finally together, let's finish breakfast and start getting ready. Remember today is a big day!" Dream said, sounding quite excited himself.
You'd honestly forgotten for a few minutes because of the whiplash of your friends confessing they were playing cupid.
Today was the convention. The whole reason you'd all traveled out here. This whole trip had been lovely, leading up to the final event.
And you'd be leaving with a date, and good memories spent with fans and friends.
<3
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