#which was BAD because he also wasn't doing the best after delivery so he needed to stay calm and relax | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

atxxzist · 10 months

Text

sweetest lies | c.s (02)

prev // next // series m.list

pairing: choi san x f!reader

word count: 7.3k

warning: not any i can think of

a/n: not much drama but lots of trips down memory lane

in all honesty, you can't remember when the line between respect and infatuation started to blur when it came to yunho.

you met him at the age of twelve, just as you were about to enter junior high. you had found him crying outside the choi's residence one afternoon, and was shocked by the news; both of his parents' passing and that he was now one of them, because the choi only had one son and he was nothing like the sweet and obedient boy in front of you.

despite him being younger, you had a lot of respect for him because he was smart and treated everyone he ever came across with only nothing but kindness.

yunho wasn't only well mannered and pleasing to the eyes, but he was hardworking--a trait that made him incredibly easy to like, although you did felt bad at times because you were afraid he was pushing himself to meet the expectations of those around him.

but he was never fazed by any of it--the hard work, or the efforts he had to go to. he simply did it because he wanted to.

by the time he finished high school, he had enough trophies, medals, and certificates to fill his entire room.

yunho💕: can we please talk

the sigh that leaves you is both the contrasting combination of irritation but also relieved, because you weren't sure what was gonna happen after last night.

if you were gonna have to be the one to go out of your way to settle things or whatever they are at this point.

you leave him on seen just long enough to be petty, until another text comes.

yunho💕: i'll come to your workplace after you get out?

y/n: 👍

yunho is there and waiting for you just like he said he would, the moment you catch the other's gaze, you think he must've swallowed down some tension. he usually isn't one who's ever nervous about anything.

it's a lot of awkward fidgeting and humming under breaths until you two agree on a bench just outside of the office, just about when the area's cleared of most of your coworkers.

it's like an air of dreaded silence, considering you've never got into a fight with yunho before, the moment feels never-ending.

"h-how are you feeling?" he asks, everything about his voice to the question surprising you.

a part of you wishes he had said something else, or at least for the delivery to come out meaner just so you'll have another reason to get over him and not think about the million others why you can't.

"how do you think i'm feeling?" you reply, a little snappy in nature that yunho almost wants to be surprise by the tone, but he knows better than anyone that that's just how you are.

you have a way of showing emotions, often times flip flopping between vulnerable and cynical, the latter of which he always believe to be a defense mechanism.

"sorry..." he mumbles, like the word falling out of defeat. "i should've told you sooner. i mean... i was going to."

you can't help the scoff that slips despite yunho doing his very best to make the conversation as tame as a situation like this can be. but you suppose you also hold some rights to complain and be a bitch about it.

"yeah, but you didn't. i had to walk in on you and my own sister myself."

yunho recoils from the sentence, your delivery poking at something he's not sure what is, but he knows he don't like it.

"i didn't know you were coming," is all he says, calm in his voice but also ominous to a degree.

you cross your arms, continuing to stare ahead. the entire time, the both of you haven't looked at the other once.

"i was able to get off early and texted you like a bunch of times."

"i don't always have the constant need to check my phone, so i'm sorry."

he's apologizing, but there's an impatient edge to his voice that if you just continue pushing it, he will burst; at least it feels like it, the undertone of his response not sitting well with you.

a moment of unpleasant silence passes before you speak again.

"so it's true what san told me? all this time, you've always had someone else? and you've never thought of telling me any of it?" that same hurt and betrayal multiplying by the second just bringing up the reminder.

you add on, "and of all people, that someone is my sister? just when exactly did it even fucking happened?"

yunho opens his mouth to say something only to retreat with a sigh instead, waiting for just long enough in order for the appropriate words to strike.

"it just kind of happened naturally, i guess."

naturally. it stings more than it should, the visual in your head of the progression day by day as your sister's smile or small quirks catches the interests of yunho to the point he falls for her, and she falls in return.

that he sees what everyone else sees, and it's the part you hate the most.

the attraction toward one another built on a foundation similar to gravity where one cannot help but to be pulled toward each other. unlike you and yunho. even if you were magnet, he most likely still wouldn't stick.

no matter how much you try pushing the thought away; know that you're being immature and unreasonable, bitter is a feeling you've always acted on.

consumed by the jealousy and rage that your sister once again, took something from you.

"oh... i see," you murmur, yunho could've missed it if he wasn't next to you, but he can hear very clearly how your voice drops after, following with a dry chuckle that makes him turn head.

"tell me, what is so special after her?" you hold his gaze, your head now tilted as the mean and mocking look in your eyes says everything. "what made you fall this hard when i was the one who was actually by your side?"

now you're starting to really push it, yunho doing his best to contain the brewing temper but you have such a way with words that knows how to hit exactly where it hurts.

"she's really that fucking good, huh? that you--"

"--stop talking about your sister like that!"

the outburst takes you by surprise, your body flinching at the sudden crank of volume, yunho sounding and looking the most angry you've ever seen since almost 11 years ago when a group of boys were picking on you.

"can you for once, leave your sister's name out of your mouth?"

his heaving chest and stern look on his face is something entirely new. you didn't even think yunho could ever be this pissed off about anything before.

it leaves you speechless, your mind scrambling for something to say in return just to make yourself feel a little better.

"this is exactly why i couldn't tell you," he says, now calming down but still serious as he runs a hand through the front of his hair. "i knew you wouldn't be able to face the truth."

“because he didn’t want to hurt you,” he unveils, much to your stunned reaction. “he knew you’d lash out and act exactly the way you did when you saw them back at the party.”

"and what would that be?" you push, really setting yourself up for all the hurt and pain that's about to come because yunho is absolutely right.

"that me and your sister love each other."

his words sink in like a bad ache, your brain still refusing to accept the pain receptors but it's all very real. the heavy and uncomfortable sensation running through your chest and the curling of your grip as they tighten.

you don't wish to hear any more of how perfect they are for each other, or more specifically, how more perfect she is for him than you.

"but i love you, too."

it's awful and cringe and makes you regret it the second it comes out, but you literally couldn't think of anything else.

"no..." yunho talks under his breath, shaking his head. "i'm not sure you've ever really loved me."

you draw back slightly, the puzzled expression on like he's accused you of a crime you didn't commit.

"i don't think you love me," he finishes off.

yunho didn't want to tell you (just yet) for numerous reasons. the fact you wouldn't be able to accept the truth is one thing, but he mainly held it back for this long because he didn't want to hurt you.

no matter how frustrating you can be at times, often than most acting on impulse and letting the unreasonable voice in your head get the better of you, he didn't want to be another someone who had let you down.

disappointed you and tossed you away; and for your sister of all people.

he grew up with you and watched as you go from a somewhat lively and carefree person to the one you are today.

how, you actually used to love and care for your younger sister, always by her side to protect her and fend off anyone who thought any less of her.

he's watched and sat through dinners and social events of family members comparing the two of you, able to vividly recall the both embarrassed and sad look on your face when they'd all praise her instead.

how much prettier, smarter, and better she is than you.

and he was definitely there when your parents sidelined you for your sister's accomplishments, over the years also a witness to the relationship that soon turned sour and leaving a huge wall between you guys.

he can't remember the last time you two even spoke to one another without all the lingering tension and bitterness up in the air.

so he more than anyone knows how much of a sore spot just talking about your sister is, the prolonging of the revelation one that is to protect you from the hurt he knew you'd undoubtedly experience.

but he's afraid that it's been going on too long; the need to tear the band aid right off and tell you everything for what it is.

"of course i love you, yunho." your soft tone rips him from the thought and to the desperation in your eyes.

"if you love me then you would be happy for me."

you've never been shy of letting such a thing be known, whether saying it outright or making implications of it. yunho always well aware to the fact that you've been silently hoping he'd take matters into his own hands one day and ask you the long awaited question or say those three words.

but truth be told, even if it wasn't your sister, it would've been someone else.

not because he don't think you are wonderful and worth loving in your own little ways, but because ever since he turned 18 and graduated high school, his cognition much more developed and refined, he was sure of a suspicion he had quite some time ago: that you don't actually love him. at least not for the right reasons.

"how can i be happy for you when it's her of all people? you know how she makes me feel!"

that all or most of it is just to one-up your sister, this twisted game having turned into obsession and masked under the pretense of love, succeeding in convincing yourself to believe it as well.

"i know that you've spent all your life being compared to her, and i understand... but don't you think it's time to grow up a little and start facing those issues?" his voice turns a serious, reprimanding tone without coming off too harsh.

"i'm not some trophy to be won over to prove who's better, and just because i like your sister doesn't make you any less. i'm sorry that the adults were so awful to you growing up, but it's time you start loving yourself. not look to someone else for validation just to feel better temporarily, but i want you to be happy..."

he pauses to catch his breath, an empathetic expression washing over before closing it off.

"i should've told you sooner, i'm sorry. i was a coward. but i don't want to carry any more baggages or be responsible for someone else's entire self esteem. let's free ourselves... from each other."

you stay quiet and yunho's not sure what to make of the lack of reactions, but although he's said everything he's always wanted to, the guilt blooming in his chest weighs heavy; it's always been too easy to sympathize with you.

another reason he's sure made you cling onto him as hard as you did, was because he was really the only person to accept you for who you are.

yunho never asked for anything, or for you to change.

if someone was to tell you that one day, you'd go out of your way to look for san, you would've laughed and told them to go fuck themself.

but you're standing in front of the door to his condo--somehow surprisingly able to recall the location just from the trip earlier today, and silently going over everything currently wrong with your life and how you have no one else to talk to about your problems but san.

the one person you swore up and down to that you wouldn't even give the time of day to if you and him were the last people on earth, but now seeming like the only option.

you place a few knocks but for all you know, he might not even be home. he could be back at his parents' place or fucking off somewhere else.

the door comes apart when you were least expecting it, san's figure standing before you with his black shirt, sweatpants, and hooded beanie.

his rather dull pair of eyes turning a wide one when he sees it's you. it's not everyday that you'd come waddling through the front of his doorstep. or at all.

"i thought christmas is still a month away," he remarks lightheartedly, the comment honestly slipping before he can even fully process the strangeness of the situation, or the fact you obviously look like you had been crying.

"can i come in?" you ask, the soft, vulnerability of the question takes san a step back because he most definitely expected a snide comment in return.

"yeah, sure..." he replies hesitantly, widening the door and moving aside but unable to help but be suspicious that at any given moment, you just might come clear it’s all just a cruel joke.

you stay still in position, gaze fixated on the interior that you saw this morning until you hear the shutting of the door and snaps around.

"missed the place already?" he lets another one slip, a smirk at the corner of his lips that prompts an eye roll from you.

but he might just be doing it because he's not sure what to make of a conversation if you're both not spewing hateful things to each other's faces, or that he just remembered what he said to you this morning and feels just the slightest awful about it.

the complete and utter silence from you makes the scene both uneasy and unsettling, he lingers in the awkwardness for a few more seconds before opening his mouth, only for you to beat him with words that's been dying to get out.

"i'm uhm... i'm sorry," you utter lowly, sounding and appearing ashamed by the way your fingers fiddle with each other at your front, san almost can't believe it.

"pardon?"

"i'm sorry, about this morning."

because all it took for you to realize how pathetically nonexistent your social life is, or that you practically chased off anyone who has ever given the slightest fuck about you, is that other than yunho, you're not sure who else to confine in.

who can stand you and listen to your problems; and now that he's the cause of it, the lack of a support system you have is quite eye opening in a depressing sort of way.

"oh," he says, sounding similar to a whisper and eyes downcasting to the floor for a quick second. "it's fine, really. i didn't think too much of it."

not of what you said because you've definitely spewed worse things before, but he did think a lot about what he said and how carried away he got.

you might've called him a manwhore and told him to fuck off more times than he can count, and he'd retaliate with sensual remarks bordering offensive, but there seems to be some kind of unspoken ground rules between the two of you and he might've broken it.

he still grew up with you nonetheless and holds some weird, sentimental value over the fact.

you just nod, both of your body language so unusual and the atmosphere oddly pleasant.

he breaks the silence with a rather heartfelt apology, "i'm also sorry. that was a really mean thing to say."

"no." you shake your head to rebut. "you were right. i was just in denial."

your mind races back to the departure not even two hours ago, like you can almost hear yunho's voice through the flashback.

"you should probably start heading back. it's cold out here," yunho says, the swift glance at your attire makes him wonder how you're not shivering just yet.

"i can walk you to your car," he adds.

"i'll be fine."

your cold, cut-throat tone stops him dead in his track, yunho only able to stare as he tries to predict your next movement.

"you can go."

the words die in yunho's throat, a tiny protest on the horizon but he knows it's best if he leaves you alone for now. take the time to dwell in your own emotions as you try to process the changes, and eventually and hopefully, accept them.

he nods, clearing his throat the same time he stands up and takes one last look at you, giving into the last thing he wants to tell you.

"i hope you won't think of it as a loss, but instead, i want you to see it as an opportunity to find yourself."

"also, thank you for looking after me last night. if you didn't, i most definitely would've ended up on the news, or worse."

san's stoic expression soon morphs into a somewhat cocky smile at that, one eyebrow raising to complement it.

"this day cannot get any weirder. i mean, not that i'm complaining." he shrugs, and it makes you want to yell at him for ruining the moment.

"no, really. thanks to your stalkerish behavior, i was able to wake up in one piece," you snark playfully, half expecting him to be offended, but it has the opposite effect with his smile growing even bigger.

it's not the first time he so shamelessly takes pride in the fact.

most of your greetings or first words upon seeing him always within the line of "did you follow me?" given ever since your parents got acquainted with the neighbors next door and forced you kids to get along, choi san has had a knack for following you since the mere age of nine.

you still remember his much smaller figure back then trailing behind you and around the entire perimeter of the gated community, annoyingly pleading for you to play with him or else he's gonna wipe his boogers on you.

he was very much a kid of his words and had done exactly what he said he would when you told him to get lost, smudging your new shirt with what he'd call "shrek" because he was a disgusting nine year old boy who liked to name his boogers.

it was the first out of many that you made him cry, retaliating with a hard push to his shoulders that sent his frail body to the cement, and in turn, got you in trouble.

(if you try that now, you'll get it handed to you)

it was the start of your dislike for him that only seemed to grow the older you two got. because san went from being a defenseless little kid whose most threatening act was to tell your parents, to a middle schooler with wider, meaner vocabularies, and by the time he entered high school, you practically had no chance against him.

if he wanted to corner you in a room or put another of his snot on your new shirt, you were just gonna have to put up with it.

"how do you, by chance, always know where i'm at?" you ask genuinely, thinking back to all the instances he just so happened to be there.

"you're predictable," he simply says, making you raise an eyebrow in response, wondering if that's the case or if he just pays way too much attention to you, which, you never fully understood.

you both existed to piss off the other person, but san always knew more about you than the other way around.

"hmm," you dismiss it with a hum, followed by a pretentious act of checking the surrounding because you have a big favor to ask him, and your lips at the moment feels like they don't want to cooperate.

"san," you call even somewhat sweet-sounding, it might be the calmest you've ever said his name, watching as some kind of amusement takes over him and he reacts with a head tilt, hands shoved inside the pockets of his pants, replying with a cool, "yeah?"

"can i stay over? just for tonight?"

you almost expect him to crack a snarky comment, something in the fashion of how he's been waiting for this day where you practically get on your knees and beg for his help, but where you're predictable, san is quite the surprise.

he doesn't drop any smart comments or take the very tempting chance of rubbing your helplessness in your face.

he just nods and proceeds to state, "but you're gonna have to tell me why you're here."

you scoff.

"you literally already know why i'm here."

you think you're gonna go crazy if you have to retell (and relive) yours and yunho's 'relationship', and how disillusioned you were in all of its expectation.

"yes, but i'm gonna need to know how you managed to piss off so many people for you to show up here of all places."

you didn't have many friends growing up, san recalling you being tough as a nail and frightening most of the kids away, girls and boys.

most of the time, if you weren't busy sniffing yunho up who was right by your side, you were alone at a table ripping stickers from sticker sheets and decorating the journal he's seen you with since the first day he got moved to the same school.

he still doesn't know what's in it, but he knows you gave a kid a black eye once when they tried to steal it.

the only other people he's ever seen you with besides yunho, were hongjoong and seonghwa.

it was during his first ever college party, an invitation by a fellow classmate and now friend, mingi.

he might've had far too many drinks that night and a small makeout session that left his shirt wrinkled and neck stained with kiss marks that he just needed to find a restroom and get cleaned up; it being the first party and all.

that was how he winded up near the hallway of you and two males, one of them leaning on the wall with a drink in his hand, and the other debating with you as both of your voices fight to become the dominant one.

none of you guys noticed him as he quickly slipped into the found restroom, too entirely distracted by your own interests.

he assumed they were sophomores just like you, and he was right.

he wasn't as surprised that you were even capable of making new friends, but more so at the fact that yunho wasn't there.

probably the only instances he'd see you at a social or public event without yunho was when you were with them, sometimes even using either hongjoong or seonghwa to locate your whereabouts because you were whatever they were at.

his and your friend group even started banters on the occasion and just do stupid party shit together sometimes.

but by the time you were about to graduate and leave school, you stopped hanging out with them for some reason he never dared to ask.

it was a bummer for sure because san's never seen anyone just click with you as much as they did.

"it's complicated," you tell him when he finally brought up the question, seated across from you on the single sofa while you take occupancy of the big, modular one.

similar to how you've dealt with most of your problems, you don't like talking about it or reopening wounds of the past. but if you're gonna be using san as a getaway, you figure you owe him at least an answer.

something about his current state and attentiveness a telltale sign that you can trust him. though to be frank, you never felt threatened or endangered with san having so many knowledge of you in the palm of his hand. oddly.

you tell him of the last conversation you had with hongjoong before the both of you declared you two were better off without each other.

the conversation a heated one, but neither about stupid politics or gross food combinations.

one that ended nastily and with a lot of bad feelings that leaves enough grudge to fill an entire room, unable to bear the sight of the other for more than a minute at most.

"tonight. at chan's party. he said he can hook up some equipments and i can just bring my laptop. so it's like a reveal party or whatever," hongjoong informs over the phone.

"oh shit, tonight?" you repeat, pacing around your room to find something to wear.

"yeah."

"i uh... i can't," you break the news, catching yourself in the mirror and recoiling almost immediately because you know how much of a shit friend you're about to sound. "i promised yunho we'd catch a movie. i'm actually getting ready right now."

the silence from hongjoong's end makes you nervous, but it wouldn't be the first time you blew him and seonghwa off for yunho.

you realize that day, you have a limit, and it would only be fair that so does others.

"it's just a movie. can't you reschedule?"

the shift of tone going from cheerful and excited to impatient takes you by surprise, having to scramble quickly for what to say in response.

"i can't. yunho's gonna be busy for the rest of the week."

"okay? so am i. it's probably still gonna be in theaters for the next couple of weeks or so anyway."

"i already said i'm going and we're leaving in like 20 minutes," you say, the annoyance in your voice very clear to hongjoong.

"it's a fucking movie, y/n," he states, the more careful tone from before all gone, unable to believe you. "you're acting like it's not gonna be available online a month or two from now."

you fume through your nose, time running shorter as you spend it arguing with hongjoong over the phone.

"and it's a fucking song, hongjoong. show me on your laptop or send it some other time. beside, i already told you i'm not going to another college party for the rest of the year. they're always so filthy, filled with stupid people, and i always end up making bad decisions."

hongjoong scoffs from the other side and you don't miss how dry and sarcastic it sounds.

"i'm asking you to come listen to a song i've been working on for almost two years, not for you to come snort some fucking coke."

"well it's too late. you should've called earlier."

"maybe i should've, but i also thought you were gonna be better than this and not leave your friends for a guy who barely gives a shit about you."

granted, you both did say a lot of fucked up things that day that neither can take back, and you were, undoubtedly, furious at the time (and especially at that comment) and only thought of how to hurt him the same in return.

the guilt passed with time, but you wouldn't ever tell him that you knew you were in the wrong. everything all your fault because you always placed yunho above them despite knowing that deep down, the two cared for you and treated you like family.

they always looked out for you at all parties and never pressured you to do anything you didn't want to. all the stupid, bad decisions were by your own choice because you were too sad and depressed and didn't want to hear any more of your sister's acceptance to one of the big three universities, nor read another email from one of your professors about withdrawing the class before you'd most likely end up with an f.

but you're too prideful, selfish, and a bit ashamed, you won't ever admit it to hongjoong's face. especially not after all these years.

"that's it?" san exclaims after you finished.

"well, yes."

"if you know you were wrong, you should just apologize. nothing good about prolonging some bad blood. especially when it could be easily mended."

you admit the scene is a bit bizarre; san giving you advice and you sitting calmly as you try to digest his words that doesn't trigger a nerve, because for once, it actually sounds somewhat reasonable, though unrealistic (according to you).

but you suppose it's what this night is gonna be all about.

"it's not that easy," you counter, "a sudden apology all these years is... weird."

san chuckles, picking up the manner in which you curl your hands together in your lap as you said that.

it's hard to take your tough act seriously sometimes, because he can see the guilt or fear in your eyes and that you just want to give into it.

"yeah, and look at where that behavior got you," he says, not mean or intending to hurt. if anything, he actually takes sympathy on you "stuck talking to someone you don't even like."

you twitch an eye for a second at that.

"but i'm not having too bad of a time so far."

"hmm," he hums, quick to move the topic along. "i suppose you haven't eaten?"

"i had lunch... a couple hours ago."

well, it was more a snack that you had gotten from the vending machine because there was no time this morning.

"i could probably whip up something real quick."

you watch as he stands up and trails to the kitchen, opening and closing cabinets left and right before a smile quirks up on his lips.

"buldak or shin ramen?" he waves both of the packages as he awaits an answer.

"shin ramen. i don't feel like destroying my stomach tonight."

he nods it off with a light snicker, your lips puckering from the silence after and deciding to throw in a lighthearted tease.

"i thought you were gonna be making steaks or call for delivery."

he looks up from the pot he was washing and sends a smirk your way, completely unfazed.

"i'm a 23 year old guy, of course i don't know how to cook. but if you want to call for delivery, suit yourself."

"if you're gonna be living by yourself, it would be beneficial to learn how. but i'm good with just ramen for now," you reply, eyes moving away to wander the area before fixating on san again.

"you have any extra towels?" you ask.

"should be in the bathroom."

"okay. then i'm gonna head in for a quick shower while you do that."

you can see his nodding from where you're at, stopping as you have the bathroom door halfway open and looking over your shoulder to bother him with one last question.

"uh, do you have any extra shirt and shorts i can borrow? just for tonight. i'll return it by morning. i've just literally been wearing this thing for almost two days now," you refer to the red dress, not as satin or clean as it was yesterday.

your boss almost went into cardiac arrest when you showed up with it, considering the strict dress code, but he took pity of a story you made up and was honestly just relieved you even showed up at all—though you did get a written warning for the late arrival.

"i should. you can go to my room and pick them out for yourself."

you're a tad taken aback by the freewill but thanks him anyway before going into his room and taking the first black t-shirt and shorts you see because it feels wrong in every way even if it isn't.

you catch the sight of him humming a tune under his breath and rocking his head to it before you disappear off into the bathroom, releasing the giggle you've been holding.

"this is definitely overcooked," you pass the comment while examining the soft, mushy, yellow strands of noodles in front of you.

"i might've gotten distracted," san explains, sitting in the stool beside you on the kitchen island where he might've been for a while, it makes you think back to the soft call of your name after you finally got out of the shower and stuffed yourself into his clothings.

"i gotta give it to you. it takes a real lack of skill to mess up something as simple as ramen," you poke fun at him, the words more casually sounding than anything because you're used to putting him down, but still taking a sip of the broth nonetheless because he worked hard on it--more or less.

he smiles it off, and even while guzzling down the noodles, you don't miss the way his gaze lowers to your chest, and then legs, prompting you to cower just slightly because it's just you and san in a big, almost empty condo.

san's good at making you feel a lot of things, but nervous and flustered usually weren't the cases.

"you look good in it," he says casually, your heart bursting in relief because you have no idea what the hell you thought he was gonna say.

you look down at his shirt you're wearing before meeting his eyes again, mustering an unnatural sounding, "thanks."

you return to your food and let the thought die, but san's gaze burning the side of your face makes you snap back.

"what's wrong?" you ask, and you can see him tensing up from the question.

"so what after this?" he breaks it clear and direct, though filled with joy just sitting and talking to you, the air never this nice and pleasant before, he's also curious to an extent. about you and the steps you're gonna take.

you shrug, releasing the spoon and chopsticks in your hold before engaging in a silent stare-off with him.

"i haven't given it much thought. i was kind of busy burying my relationship with yunho, whatever that is."

he lets a quiet hum of acknowledgement coast by, figuring it's fair enough you would need time, only for you to start talking again.

"but there are things i've always wanted to do, too," you tell him a little shy, because it must sound crazy that you also have your own dreams and wants beside yunho's attention.

yunho was many sources of your happiness, but he also held you back in many ways. not he the person, but the ideals and expectaions you've built for him.

you've had a lot of chances and opportunities to better yourself, and you threw them all away for a fantasy in your head.

true friends, ambitions, some sort of true calling that you're not existing just to exist--you don't have any of those at the age of 24.

"yeah? and what are those things?" he asks, so much enthusiam, you want to believe he actually cares what you have to say.

"it's not that big of a dream or goal," you say with a chuckle, like he might find it ridiculous. "i just want to... travel."

you await his reaction, your heart wrapped in a foreign warmth when he just smiles.

"a dream is a dream. no matter how small or big," he comforts you, "but traveling is definitely not anything small. where do you want to go?"

"everywhere," you answer, "i want to go to many places... but preferably anywhere but here."

he cranks an eyebrow.

"you're not planning on running away, are you?" he questions, the delivery innocent enough but also slightly concerned because he thinks there's a chance that might be exactly what you plan to do.

"no," you reply, giggling only shortly.

"i hope you won't think of it as a loss, but instead, i want you to see it as an opportunity to find yourself."

you're still mad at yunho and hate how he chose your sister over you, but if anything, you hate how reasonable and logical he still managed to sound amid all of it.

that you pretty much placed everything else on the backburner just for the hope that his reciprocated love would fix the sorrow and unhappiness you experience on a daily basis.

"just brainstorming," you assure, "thinking about what i can do, now that i don't have to consider yunho and leaving him."

leaving him for your heart's desire, so afraid that you would let the chance slip right through the palm of your hand if you did. but now, there's nothing left to lose and you suppose it's a conflicted and warped up feeling of freedom.

san nods to it, snapping himself out of the trance and catching just how immersed he was to every word that you said.

"i should probably finish the noodles before it gets cold," you say, once you realize how long it's just been sitting there while you two talked.

you get two gulps out of it before you're pulled away by a question.

"why do you care so much about what others have to say about you and your sister?"

he's aware it's a bit blunt and inappropriate considering how well it's going, but he doesn't say it to be mean but because he wants to understand you.

he's been there and has seen as much as yunho have, watching you throw nasty glares your sister's way or growing irritated at the drop of her name.

he knows there's psychology behind how all of this works (that he's unfortunately lacking of knowledge about), but he wants to hear it from you. why you always put yourself down and chooses to live in your sister's shadow when you're as equally capable.

"you wouldn't understand," you mumble, refusing to look him straight in the eyes although he isn't shying away from it one bit, going to pick at the noodles with your utensils.

"if you tell me, i might."

the shift of atmosphere is heavy, the air no longer lighthearted but now serious as silence fills it briefly.

"is it because you're insecure from always being pitted against her?"

you still don't answer, instead taking a bite out of your bowl and hoping he'll just let it pass because you're aware in some ways that you're gonna sound unreasonable, childish, and petty.

just an older sister jealous of her younger one because she's better in every way.

but you've always been one to sit and brew in your own emotions and anger until they eventually turn into something much worse.

"if you want some help, you need to talk to me. i understand you might not want to, but i promise i won't run off with the information or use it against you. i'm much better than what you give me credits for."

you swallow and drop the utensils, facing him on and releasing a sigh.

"yes," you say, "i care so much about what others have to say about me and her because i already know they'll just talk down on me."

"and why would you assume that?" he asks.

you scoff, as if he's making you state the obvious.

"because i always fall behind on everything. even small things like socializing and making friends comes so much more naturally to her," you say, strong at first but tapering out eventually. "but it's not as easy for me... i-i find it hard talking to people or trying to make friends."

and even when you do, you seem to have a habit of driving them away.

san takes a deep breath and stares at you in pity.

"but you shouldn't be measuring your worth based on your sister's accomplishments or setting her as the standard. comparison sucks, i understand. and i know it's easier said than done, but you're great in your own ways. trust me."

you don't say anything back, not because you don't want to, but it's how your heart takes a dive and leaves you speechless hearing san tell you that.

a light pink blush makes an appearance on his cheeks but he's quick to move it along with a clear of his throat.

"what i meant to say is, i've been there before. you really think i was spared any of it when yunho of all people is my stepbrother and i'm the biological son?"

you suppose if she was your stepsister instead, it might be a lot worse.

but with san, he's always been nonchalant like nothing ever bothers him. it would be a lot easier for him to dismiss it.

"well if only i could be as carefree as you," you mumble.

"it definitely bothered me at first, but i didn't see why i should be losing sleep over it. me and yunho are two very different people after all who does our own things. i'm proud of what he's achieved so far, and he's always had my back when needed."

when the night drags on and you're both getting too tired for overwhelming conversations, you go to bed in the spare bedroom after helping him clean up and let today's event sink in. so many things to process at once.

despite all of yours and san's history and indifferences, you can admit that there may be a thing or two you can learn from him.

so unusual seeing his irritating and cunning self turn so much more soft and empathetic, you're starting to feel bad for all the times you've cursed his name over simple mishaps.

thinking back to what he said earlier and being surprised he even had the kindness to do so.

"comparison sucks, i understand. and i know it's easier said than done, but you're great in your own ways. trust me."

that san would be able to make one of your worst days into something a lot less worse and even comforting.

then you think about yunho, wondering if he's right about the fact you never loved him, before drifting off.

when san wakes up in the morning, he almost forgot you had stayed over until he makes way into the kitchen and the yellow sticky note plastered on the front door takes his attention.

thanks for letting me stay the night :) you're kind of pleasant to be around when you don't think with your dick. btw i left your clothes in the laundry basket. see you around i guess - y/n

next // series m.list

taglist: @freeandrealme @shingene @cookiechristie @softie00 @crimson-mia @hexheathen @lixpixstix @atinytease @turtash @moonseonghwa @kkayfan @curryramyeon @justineasian @sannie-pudding @itsokaytobedumb00 @nerdy-kimchi @fannyxmh @acciocriativity @mel-the-mad-hatter @eastleighsblog @diorwoo @devilsmatches @kyume02 @distvrbia @wonwowzers @endeav0rsb1tch @sannwa @brown88 @sangiluvem @eburneon @hotteokhatyu @yeosangsbiceps @sankatchu @lynnsqueendom @harusoraa @ad0rechuu @interweab @revehosh @byunniebaekhyunnie @nabi-sannie @gugggu6gvai @rockstarsanie @shakalakaboomboo @yeosangsbbg @yawnzshit @avantalem @lelaleleb @mountiiny @arinyyy @svintsandghosts @yoongiworshiper @raineadlr

#ateez angst #san x reader #choi san x reader #ateez x reader #ateez series #yunho x reader #fic: sweetestlies

173 notes · View notes

mrsparrasblog · 6 months

Text

Highschool AU pt.2

Summary: You and your Brother moved away from Austria because of your parents Divorce, making you attend Northbridge Academy in Exeter, England. On your first day you meet the bullied Simon Riley and the overly extroverted John MacTavish. As if dealing with puberty, sports and your grades wasn't hard enough you fell in love not only with your Bestfriend Simon but also with Johnny, that Johnny was in love with both of you didn't make the Dynamic better

Pt.1

November 1990

As the days passed, you fell into a comfortable routine. You made a point to sit next to Simon in every class, despite Johnny's attempts to claim the seat besides you. You got used to Johnny though; he was funny and surprisingly smart. He even beat you in physics once, which made you incredibly mad. You always wanted to excel in academics; sometimes it felt like it was the only thing you were good at—getting good grades. If you couldn't be good at that, what special thing would be left in you?

"Lizzie, it's just an A, who cares if it's not an A+? You won't die from it," Simon nagged. He never understood your drive to excel in school. He wasn’t bad himself, though; he mostly got Bs, especially in math, history, and chemistry. He had some Cs in English and Housekeeping —claiming it was unimportant for him that he did poorly in sewing. He was right, though; that's why you didn’t pick that incredibly dumb subject and chose advanced German instead, which was like a free pass for you. Unfortunately, you were in the same class as John, the annoying new friend of your brother. He was always so flirty, although he was cute.

"How do you know? Maybe I'll fall dead on the ground in the next second."

"Would be a blessing for some of us," Simon replied. After a few weeks of school, you were surprised to find out that Simon wasn’t like he looked. He wasn’t shy and uncomfortable; he pulled lots of jokes—bad ones—next to you. Worse, his humor was dry and mean, making you chuckle all the time, which he secretly loved.

"You're an idiot, Si."

"And still, I'm your favorite, Lizzie."

"Only because Johnny isn’t a real challenge to you."

"Don’t let Johnny hear that; he will be mad."

"Maybe he needs a bit of an ego shrink," You laughed.

Simon and you walked towards your table. It was like in all those American movies you watched when you were allowed to watch TV. Tiffany and her squad had their own table, and then there were tables full of footballers where Kyle sat most of the time, except when Johnny begged him to sit with you. Michael, like the perfect big brother he was, was always where you were. And where Michael was, John and sometimes Nik would be, if he didn’t spend 90% of his time in detention.

Every Thursday was mail delivery day, the best part of the week. You always looked forward to a letter from Dad. He told you about all the different places he visited for work, and there was always a postcard in the letter. You had over 120 postcards, all placed on the wall of your dorm. At least that made you feel at home. Northbridge Academy wasn’t as bad as you feared at the beginning. The teachers were great, the school was fun, and you had Simon and Johnny. The only downside was my dorm mates. While the boys were more than lucky despite Si complaining about Michael's snoring, they still had a nice group. Meanwhile, you were stuck with Tiffany, Laurie, and Anne in a room, and it was even worse than you imagined.

Simon opened his mail, and his expression changed. He tried to regain his composure quickly, but he couldn't fool me. You knew something was up, so you poked him under the table, trying to get his mail. Surprisingly, he gave it to you without any further resistance, and for once, You wished he hadn’t.

Hello Simon, Im on a camping trip with your Mom and Thomas. Don´t bother coming over the long weekend. We wont be there. Stay at your trust fund school. Dad

"Si—"

"No, Lizzie." He stood up and left the table, surprising everyone else who hadn’t noticed anything. Typical boys. You followed him into his dorm and sat next to him on the bed.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"It's not a big deal, Lizzie. They're just on vacation."

"Is it?"

"Lizzie."

"You know you could come with Mich and me. Mom wouldn’t mind at all; she loves hosting people and all that stuff. We can spend more time together, and you don’t need to stay in this musty room—like, really, do you boys even clean?" You laughed at the chaos of the room. Everywhere, there were paint stains, football shoes, and, on what you guessed was Nik’s and John’s bed, an E-guitar was placed.

"Lizzie, it’s okay. You know I can practice a bit before the start of ice hockey season."

"Pleaseeeeeeee." You looked at him with puppy eyes. I needed him to come with me.

"Okay, but only this once." He agreed, and you gave him a big bear hug.

SIMONS POV

"Whit dae ye mean ye gang hame wi' Ellie?"

"Was invited," I said shortly.

"Was invited too," John chimed in, while he tuned his guitar, making noises not safe for humanity.

"How come is a' body invited 'cept me?" Johnny started to whine. The answer would be easy for anyone with eyes: she doesn’t like his flirting, she is scared of things like this, and asking her to marry him after she gave him a cookie wasn’t the smartest choice.

"I wasn’t invited," Kyle replied shortly.

"You're not invited, Johnny, 'cause ye need to tone it down with my sister. She is only 13; she doesn’t care about boys right now. And asking her at any chance if she wants to marry you makes her scared. Ye don’t know anything about girls, do ye?" That was the most words I've heard from König since, well, ever, but he was right. Johnny needed to tone it down. I didn’t like how Lizzie felt insecure whenever he did it and clung to me. The truth is Lizzie wasn’t afraid of him or anything; she even liked Johnny as a friend. She just thought his advances were jokes. Johnny liked to joke a lot, giving him the reputation of a class clown. And so, his big gestures for her felt like a joke to her, especially since she was so insecure at heart. I just never understood why? She was smart, funny, much cooler than any other girl, and she was pretty, not that I would ever tell that to someone.

"Just trying to be good, König," Johnny muttered.

"If ye weren’t a lovesick little puppy, he’d probably punch you into oblivion," John mentioned.

"You can come too, Johnny," König replied, still giving him the big brother glance.

"Sweet."

"Wait, how do we all fit in a car?" I asked, afraid that Johnny would take my place, and I needed to stay here. But everyone just looked at me weirdly, and I didn’t know why.

The next day, on our way to Lizzie's house, I finally knew why. There was a fucking limousine with black windows, probably bulletproof, like in James Bond movies. A small man in his 50s walked outside of the car wearing a black suit and smiling as he walked towards Lizzie, taking her baggage from her hands.

"He doesn’t look like Lizzie’s Dad," I said. It was true; they didn’t look similar, but still, she hugged him like you’d hug a family member, I guess?

John started to laugh. "You really don’t know a lot about Beth." Beth? Why did he call my Lizzie Beth? That was a shitty name.

"I know a lot about her."

"Not about her world, little one." I hated it when people reduced me for my small frame. I didn’t want to be the skinny short boy walking behind Lizzie all the time in need of her support. At least she didn’t see me that way.

"Si, John, Johnny, that’s Alfred, he is our family, Butler," Lizzie said, smiling at Alfred like he was a family member more than a Butler.

We sat down in the limo. Lizzie, of course, sat next to me, much to the dislike of Johnny. He kinda grew on me, though; he was funny and extroverted, and he wasn’t as posh as Kyle, who was a nice bloke but just didn’t get it. He was always complaining, as if he had problems, of course, he hadn’t. He was rich, good at football, and good-looking.

Lizzie fell asleep after a while, her head resting on my shoulder. I didn’t dare to move for the rest of the ride. She looked so peaceful when she didn’t move her lips and spoke.

"Mate, that's unfair. Why does Lizzie sleep on you instead of me?" Johnny whined, but I ignored him. "I liked her first, brocade and everything, Simon."

"You don’t call dips on my sister, or I'll cut your tongue out," König spoke calmly. He was confusing me; he was mostly silent but always threatened everyone who came too close to Lizzie. He never threatened me though, of course not; no one saw a threat in me.

We arrived at a big white mansion, almost looking like the Buckingham Palace. I knew Lizzie was rich, but this rich? I should probably search Kortac up, what they did, and how her dad must be so rich.

John only shrugged as if it was nothing, making me feel like I was the dumb one. This wasn’t normal; why are they acting like this?

As I stepped into Lizzie's villa, my jaw practically hit the floor. I mean, I've seen big houses before, but this was something else. The entrance was like walking into a palace or something. The marble floors were so shiny

; I could see my reflection in them. And those pillars! They were taller than any trees I've ever seen, reaching up to a ceiling painted with fancy designs that made me feel like I was in a museum.

I couldn't help but gawk as I made my way through the place. The living room was like a dream. Soft, velvet couches and chairs were everywhere, so plush you could practically sink into them. Paintings and tapestries covered the walls, like something out of a history book. And don't even get me started on the fireplace! It was huge, with flames dancing and crackling like something out of a movie. All around were paintings that probably cost more than Mom's salary as a nurse.

The dining room was even more posh. A long, mahogany table stretched out in front of me, set with fancy plates and silverware that looked like they belonged in a museum. A chandelier hung overhead, sparkling with crystals and casting a warm light over everything.

In the kitchen, everything was shiny and new. Stainless steel appliances lined the walls, and there were bowls of fruit and baskets of bread everywhere. It smelled amazing, like something out of a cooking show. Chefs walked around the house; they had fucking chefs? I thought the Butler was much, but they had more staff. Didn’t rich people know how to cook for themselves?

As I wandered around, I couldn't help but feel a little jealous. I mean, we have a house; it's nice and all, but it's nothing like this. Lizzie's family must be really rich to live in a place like this. But as much as I envied her, I couldn't help but feel grateful that she was my friend, never judging me because of my scholarship like Tiffany did, and by the looks of it, Tiffany wasn’t even half as wealthy as Lizzie and König are.

"Mutter, Vater, Ich dachte Papa ist in Salzburg gerade," König said. He sounded more confident when he spoke German.

Lizzie's parents looked like nice people; her Dad was the tallest man I've ever seen and looked a bit intimidating, while her mom looked a lot like Lizzie herself, just older.

"Dein Vater hat gehört, ihr kommt hier her und ist direkt gekommen," her dad replied.

"Also, seid ihr nicht wieder zusammen?" Lizzie’s voice sounded so different in German, but she still sounded nice and soft.

"Nein, und sprech Englisch, das ist unhöflich gegenüber deinen Gästen," her mom scolded, her voice too loud for the small room.

"So, who do we have here?" Lizzie’s father asked curiously.

"I'm John Price, sir."

"Oh, like William Price?"

"Yes, that's my old man."

"We worked together quite a bit for his campaign."

"Wait, my dad worked with Kortac?" John lost the color of his face, and I really needed to know what the fuck Kortac is.

"I'm Johnny MacTavish."

"Well, didn’t hear of your family," Lizzie’s dad mustered Johnny.

"Richard, be nice," Lizzie’s mom scolded, in a tone too loud for the room. "Okay, and you are?" She gestured to me.

"Simon Riley, nice to meet you both, sir," I replied politely, shaking his hand, only to get my hand crushed.

As I followed Lizzie's family into the dining room, I couldn't believe my eyes. The table was like something out of a fancy restaurant, but way bigger. There were so many dishes spread out that I had never seen or tried before. I mean, I knew what a salad was and some of the other stuff, but there were these little black things in jars that Lizzie's dad called "caviar." I had no idea what that was, but everyone seemed to be enjoying it, so I tried a tiny bit. It was salty and kinda strange, definitely not like anything I'd ever eaten. Johnny looked as confused as me; of course, the academy had fancy food, but this was weird. And so much different from what mom cooked for us, and I longed for her lasagna right now.

Then there were all these different forks and spoons and knives laid out next to the plates. I was used to just one fork and one spoon at home, but here, it was like a whole set of tools just for eating. I glanced over at Lizzie, who noticed my confusion and tried to discreetly explain which fork to use for which course. But I could tell I was still getting it wrong.

Lizzie's family seemed used to all this fancy stuff, chatting away as they effortlessly used their array of utensils. Meanwhile, I was struggling not to knock over a glass or use the wrong fork. Her mom smiled kindly at me and offered some advice on what to try next, but I couldn't shake the feeling of being out of place. John and König, of course, knew how to act. I noticed how Lizzie’s dad liked John, but Lizzie’s mom definitely liked me.

It was strange; they were so familiar with each other, chatting at dinner and laughing, listening to Lizzie ramble about the school teaching shitty German. It was so different than at home; no one screamed, no one cried, and, most importantly, no one punched each other.

Johnny and I slept in one of the various guest chambers, and it was so comfortable, the best sleep I've ever had until I heard Lizzie scream from next door. I ran towards her room; I didn’t know what was wrong, but I needed to find out.

She lay in her luxurious room, whining and shaking in her sleep. I always thought rich families like these never had any problems, but here she was having night terrors.

I sat next to her in bed, brushing my hand towards her silky hair. "I'm here, Lizzie, everything is good."

"Please don’t kill me; I don’t know anything," she cried, and then König walked in, pushing me to the side while grabbing her in his bulky arms, whispering to her something in German until she calmed down and slept peacefully again. Now, all of us stood in her room. I just wanted to comfort Lizzie, telling her everything would be fine again.

"What was this?" John asked.

"Nightmares."

"That’s more than nightmares, mate," Johnny said, earning a death glare from König. I didn’t know what I thought, but I stood up and walked towards her bed again, cuddling her like Mom and Dad always did. For the first time, I could protect someone, and I’d protect her like she protected me.

"LEAVE."

"No, she is my best friend; I won’t leave." Slowly, after minutes, John and Johnny climbed into Lizzie’s bed. All of us wanted to comfort the girl who gave us everything every day. And so all five of us played together in the bed, eager to protect her from whatever haunted her. It was nice; having her in my arms was the last thought before I slowly drifted into a peaceful sleep.

43 notes · View notes

oonajaeadira · 3 months

Note

In honor of Catfish Day, may I ask a question? What is Frankie's best line of dialogue in TF? (also every time i consider deep and evocative world-building, i think about your stories and wanted you to know)

My Megan, my Cheese. You are a lovely soul, did you know???

I will admit that I've only watched Triple Frontier the once, but of course "We gotta fly over the fuckin' Andes, man!" is iconic.

This movie was what I VERY LOVINGLY call "Bro Fare" and is full of boys-being-boys, full of drugs and violence and military and bad decisions. And while I applaud the fact that it kept me gripping the back of the couch in a half escape, afraid for all of them and what could go wrong next, it wasn't really my kind of movie.

And now I'm gonna say something that may raise some hackles around here....other than Pedro and Oscar, I don't really remember the other characters. I know a lot of folks like Garrett or don't like Ben or whatever, but at the end of the day, I felt like the other three dudes were just playing your run of the mill military dudes.

But Oscar's Santi had a LOT of subtext. He was fighting against blaming himself for anything that happened because he called them all there and he didn't want to drown in it before they were out. There was a morally grey center to all of them, but I really feel like Oscar did an amazing job holding down the one that was the furthest from the light even if he was also trying desperately to protect them all. (Come after me if you want to say Tom was the worst, but that guy was just a damaged idiot. He's almost not even on the same scale.)

And on the flip side, I was amazed at the choices Pedro made to play the opposite end of the scale. You give a man a role like this, most of them are gonna play the military bro. These boys have seen service and it's easy to just play that stereotype (which, sorry, is what I felt the other three kinda did.) But Frankie is almost too soft of a heart to be there. His personality doesn't scream military in the Hollywood sense...because Pedro made a conscious choice not to play it. Any chance he could have swung into macho, he went the opposite direction, and listening to his lines and imagining how they are, flat on the page in a script, that role could have easily become that. He actually read his lines and found a different Frankie under them, chose to play someone who made bad choices and regretted them because he'd hurt people he loved with those choices. He isn't the loudest of the bunch, he's more a wallflower in the group because he's there to support, not be supported by them. And when Pedro asked himself, why does this man say yes to this with so much on the line? His answer was obviously love. He loves his brothers. He's at the fight not because he loves the fight but because he loves his friend. He hates saying no to Santi when he's asked to go because he doesn't want to disappoint his friend and you can see it in how he pussyfoots around his (very valid and nothing to be ashamed about) excuse. He ultimately says yes out of love and loyalty even if it hurts himself, even if it turns him back into the monster he wish he never was and Pedro made that choice to make it make sense to himself. And then he played THAT guy.

I love Pedro just as much as the rest of you, but I make a living in the theater and beyond his looks and his killer personality, I respect Pedro's acting chops and his choices and his deliveries so very very very much. I'm wowed by him on a nerrrrrrdily technical level. It's what drew me to him in the first place--when Din took off his helmet and told Grogu it would be alright and barely held it together, when this big tough warrior showed his face and that actor was not afraid to show that emotions in no way weakened his strength and could exist in a warrior in harmony, I was like WHAT IS THIS FRESH CHOICE WHO IS THIS FUCKING AMAZING ACTOR AND WHAT ELSE OF HIS SHIT DO I NEED TO WATCH NOW.

And now I can't unsee it. I love falling in love with his characters because they are so multi-dimensional, so nuanced, so real because he does the work and makes good choices. Every time a new role shows up, I'm a true Gemini: one half of my brain is squealing like a little girl because dur dur pretty Pedro boy and the other half is squealing like a little girl because OH MY GOD THAT'S A FKN AMAZING READ WHERE DID THAT CHOICE COME FROM.

He's amazing. And what makes Frankie amazing to me is all the easy choices he turned away from and yet made the harder ones look like childsplay.

#I'M SO SORRY #THIS WAS LONG #I WENT OFF #I LOVE YOU MEGAN

30 notes · View notes

reckless-avacado · 3 months

Text

AGGGTM TV SHOW SPOILERS AHEAD!

um hi. I just watched agggtm the tv series and I have a bone to pick with everything.

THis is ur warning if u havent watched the show Bye.

Don't get me wrong, ive read the books and i LOVED them but this tv show did not do them justice, it changed sooooo many details that didnt need to be changed and left out a lot of stuff, leaving them with no set up for season 2. Good Girl Bad Blood. I will now rant.

Ravi - No hate to the actor that played Ravi but he sucked. The line delivery on so many things was severly lacking. They also made him miss out on an iconic line "Real men wear floral when trespassing". In the show they made it so Ravi didn't rlly help Pip at all. He was simply there for Pip to tell her theories and information to.

Stanley - Stanley was just non-existent. he just wasnt there. This leaves no set up for season two. Bad choice on behalf of someone

Becca Bell - It may have just been me who thought of Becca as this frail 20 year old who was still grieving. But that wasn't represented in the show. They made Becca straight up find Pip and get angry at her instead of Pip just finding her in a cafe or whatever and asking her a few simple questions.

Ant - Ant was there, but not a part of Pip's friend group, he was just known as this dude that asked Lauren out.

Howie Bowers - First of all, his last name wasnt mentioned in tv show i dont think and it came off as this terrifying dude with a scar, when in the books he was just a drunk dude that was tryna sell drugs and didnt want to get called out by a bunch of teenagers. We never saw his house, Pip never tracked him down, he just happened to be at the Calamity party.

Da silvas - They made him more of a character than he needed to be. It was annoying. Also he did this weird nose grabbing thing eww. They also made Nat da Silva one of Andie's best friends instead of it being Chloe and Emma, it was Nat and Emma.

The cave - This cave shouldn't have existed. The calamity party that Pip was supposed to go to the track down the drug dealer, was in a cave. She didn't pretend to smoke with a guy on a garden wall, she simply asked where he was and he took her to Howie.

THIS NEEDED ITS OWN SECTION

This stupid cave was also where Andie was hidden, it was like a well or something in the cave that Becca dragged Andie into instead of the Farm house

The Farm house - Like Stanley the farmhouse didn't exist. IT WAS A KEY PLOT POINT IN THE FIRST BOOK AND ALSO IS IN THE SECOND YET THEY SAID NOPE AND DIDNT HAVE IT. ajdkbqoEUFBWROGUW

Isla - In the books Isla was this mentally unstable girl Elliot found on the side of the road that he believed was Andie, Isla being unstable then believed she was Andie. Elliot then hid her away in his attic and looked after her. When Pip finds her the girl introduces herself as Andie, Pip then realises it's not. In the stupid TV show, Isla is a poor girl living at a bus stop that Elliot thinks is Andie but quickly realises is not but offers her a place to stay for the night because of her condition, the next morning he confesses to the murder of Sal to her, which he then traps her in the attic. When Pip finds her she says, "I'm not Andie" UGH, it removed that whole plot point.

Barney - Now i was prepared to ball my eyes out at Barney dieing, (I warned u abt spoilers). A few things were different. First Barney was lost at Josh's bday party, not on a walk like in the book. Secondly (spoiler for book three) Barney wasn't drowned. He was discovered dead on the side of the road after being hit by a car which I can't see how they could make that Jason killing him on purpose.

Jason - They didn't make this man more of a suspect. They needed to make him suspisious to set up for a possible season 3. They made Dan da silva a suspect.

Pip showing up at ppls houses - The main way pip interviews ppl is by showing up at their houses, the show eliminated a bunch of these interactions. Pip met Ravi when on a walk with muffins, not his house, Pip met Max while waitressing for a party, (yes at his house but didn't show up on his door step like in the book) Nat da Silva, Pip interviewed her in the locker room after a tennis match when she was half naked.

There are propably so many more big things wrong with this show. It needed more of a budget, they ended up using some of the same shots, like Pip driving the same road, and Young pip. It was very annoying. I had such high hopes for this show to stay close to it's source material becasue Holly was so involved in the filming process, she even has a mini cameo in the hotel episode (look for the guest in a robe). But i was very disappointed so many things were changed. They even missed the whole renactment of murder to prove Sal's innocence. They just left out so much and it's very annoying.

THOUGHTS?

#reckless avacado #bookblr #booklr #agggtm #ravi singh #pipravi #pippa fitz amobi #holly jackson #zain iqbal #emma myers #tv shows #tv series #hot take #rant post #pls dont hate me #debate me in the comments #I want to here ur thoughts

17 notes · View notes

titanicfreija · 2 months

Text

Thank You

After Freija went to bed, Sunny lingered at the fire. "Thank you. Really. I haven't known what to do."

"She wears it on her face," Thomas said, a small scowl crossing his lips. "She looks haunted." He looked at the sparkling Ghost and tried to imagine the damage they described. "She hasn't slept, either, has she?"

Sunny bounced side to side. "She has, but it brings nightmares. She had one about crushing me, it's been hard."

Thomas nodded. "Worried about that. The war would end, or at least the big one and everyone would expect to just be cured, no need to heal. Some of us have been at this a thousand years. Five hundred." He waved a hand. "Four," he said, gesturing at the Titan's dangling tent. "Our whole lives, all of us. She'll adapt best but slowest. Saladin's probably better off staying with the Cabal."

"Don't act like that," sighed Sunny. "There's more than enough fighting still to do."

"Fair enough," he agreed. "There's no way Xivu's changing course now."

"No way," agreed Sunny. "You defended the wall while we were gone?"

"Held ground as the last line of defense at the refuge line. Held the established Green Zone and received refugees. Rarely saw any action, but running Solar helped me a lot with rescue and delivery and medic duties. Only one real break in the lines, but we stopped it at the front. Me and a Titan got a thing going where he gave me Invictus for the Well, kept me going for a while. Didn't expect to see so many Hunters with us, I don't know why not. Usually not the ones I see in defensive positions, but this little network stalked the yellow zone and took out anything that looked suspicious, until the break. Full fireteam of them appeared out of nowhere and dumped so much power on their heads that it hurt my eyes. Ran right to the Well and unleashed and unloaded. Titan bubble just to the left, everyone spraying Light all at once, I could put down another Well before the first one fell and we forced them back so completely that we had to push an advance, because they were spilling around to flank."

He smiled. "I don't like working with my fellows, except when I do," he admitted, shrugging.

"You gonna look into the Light and Dark together stuff?"

"Yeah. In a while." He shrugged again. "I want to cool off, too."

Sunny remained with the fire and the other two, contrary to expectations, and eventually Thomas asked, "What is it?"

"Thank you," she said again, but her modulator warbled. "She… she cussed me. For. For doing it. And. I'm still confident that I'm right, I was right, I did the right thing that I had to do and anything else would have been wrong. But she's also right. I killed myself and I made her pull the trigger." The Ghost bobbed lightly, slowly drifting lower. "And she's right to be hurt by that, and I can be sorry all we like, it doesn't undo it."

Thomas nodded. "Yeah. She knows, too. She said that. She's learning how to cope. It's okay."

"I feel really bad," Sunny mumbled.

"It was hurt your Guardian or sentence yourself and everyone else to permanence," he said.

"I would still do it again but I feel bad anyway," Sunny iterated. "I feel like I should do something for her. Not to apologize, really, she knows I'm sorry and she knows we did what we had to do, both of us. But I want to comfort her. And I haven't been able to, because I don't know how. And you helped us a lot, today. Just letting her sleep like that helped a lot."

Thomas nodded, but she wasn't saying something.

"She wants advice," Rex said.

Ah.

Thomas knew he wasn't great for advice, but he could help break down the situation. "She's still nervous. She probably feels betrayed by you. Sorry, but that's just kind of how it would be, from my point of view. I would be, and if she’s cursing at you, I can't think of any other reason. And this is all complicated, which makes her angry on its own."

Sunny bobbed her affirmative.

He figured. He shrugged at the Ghost. "Time and patience is the best I can think. Love. It's going to be a while. Is there anything you can think of that makes her feel safe?"

Sunny twisted a negative.

"Not surprising. How about something you two haven't done together in a while?"

"I was hoping Iron Banner would help, when Saladin came back around," she said. "That always cheers her up, but not this time."

"Yeah." He frowned. "Has it always been patrolling?"

Sunny bobbed an affirmative. "It was really hard to come up with stuff that wasn't when I was trying to help her calm down. If it's not patrolling, it's bigger."

Thomas nodded again. "Been down to the artists? The Eliksni Quarter? Have you been in the city at all?"

"Not yet. That's a good idea."

"Yeah. Give it time. You're trying to rush."

Sunny blipped harshly at him and he chuckled.

The silence sat heavy, and Sunny remained.

Thomas finally let the question out. "You died in her hands?"

"I couldn't take it," Sunny mumbled. "I could hardly… I was… I was dying. Like she said."

"Yeah. Been there, done that." He scowled. "Yeah, I'm sure she's real hurt by that. I was worried I was gonna hurt Rex. You guys knew you weren't going to walk away, and you went anyway and you made her follow."

Sunny drifted side to side, as if on a pendulum, and her back half tick-tocked metronomically. "She said she earned it. Plate of her own cooking is the phrase, I think it must have been an idiom when she was alive."

"Taste of your own medicine is the one I know but hers makes more sense without context. That's rough. Yeah. You're gonna have to ease up. Have you guys practiced any calming exercises? Freija said you guys were working on it."

"Yeah. It's kind of a poem mantra thing we made for her to use when she's remembering…. Anything."

Thomas nodded with a soft grunt. "What's triggering the memories?"

"A nightmare, last time. She's been doing good in general, but she's agitated. Angry. Wants to fight but is never satisfied when she's done. I almost wish she was having episodes like after Neomuna, this constant stress is hard."

#destiny 2 #d2 #ocs #writing #freija #sunny #thomas #prose #The final shape #Spoilers #The final shape spoilers

0 notes

imarawbu · 9 months

Text

My daughter is almost a year old now. I remember in 2022 when I was pregnant maybe hoping something would happen because things were bad like I had never seen before.

I was working full time until 8 months, I was still expected to cook when I came home and unpack the house on weekends. We had just moved into this house at the end of October and the baby shower was the first Saturday in December.

I was exhausted when I came home, I was working at my old job which was in person at a lab. My legs hurt and I was just exhausted. My husband didn't care, called me lazy and one day I was just too tired to get up and eat so his response was to threaten to call my dad or have me committed, and tried to drag me off the bed.

My husband also told me about a coworker of his who had lost her baby she was a few weeks ahead of me and at 8 months they had decreased movement, went to the hospital, the baby had gotten the cord wrapped around its neck and had somehow died. My husband mentioned this to me and asked me what I'd feel if she died before she was born. Obviously I would've been devastated but he told me he didn't think he'd care much.

I had thought he'd be a good father based on how he seemed with his nieces and nephews and because he had asked and decided he was ready for kids. I'm just dumb. At no point when I sent him stuff about babies and pregnancy did he show any interest or seem to care, same how he did with relationship stuff I also sent him at the beginning of our marriage.

After she was born, I had some problems with her, she'd sometimes wake up, I couldn't calm her down, and it was difficult to wake up with her in the mornings as I'm not a morning person anyways. Sometimes my husband would help but complain and tell me how lazy I was being and how horrible of a mother I was. When she was exactly one month old, this happened and my husband took her and was going to feed her.

He dropped her. She slipped out of his hands onto the tile in the kitchen.

She seemed ok, then an hour later her head was swollen up on the side that hit. I managed to convince my husband to let me call her pediatrician. They saw her immediately. The pediatrician told us she may have a skull fracture and to take her to the children's hospital ER. We did. The whole time I was sitting in the waiting room, my husband was berating me and telling me how lazy I was, how this was my fault, and that I was a terrible mother.

All I remember thinking is I wondered if he did it intentionally or it wasn't as accidental as he said, based on his previous behavior with her and I usually didn't trust him to be alone with her because he couldn't handle her crying. He wasn't really gentle when he held her or tried to calm her if she was crying.

He had also accused me before she was born that I was so lazy and clumsy that I'd drop her.

Turns out after she was admitted that she did have a skull fracture, they determined she didn't need surgery but they kept her there all day for tests, as they have to do a complete work up if a baby under 2 comes to the ER. She was so stressed out she didn't eat the entire time she was at the hospital but she was fine when she got home.

A few weeks later, my husband found out I had been getting delivery orders when he'd go out to play tennis with his best friend. This was with my own money, not his. He came home and threatened to throw us out for the first time. He said many things but what hurt most was when he told me he didn't care anything about our daughter and wanted nothing to do with her, he would just divorce me and go back to his home country.

I thought that was a one time thing until he had me take the remote opportunity from my old job. Then he was complaining I wasnt "doing my duties" and threatening me every week or multiple times a week. He was working two jobs and the stress from that made him pick fights with me for no reason.

I guess though to his credit, he didn't let me do any cleaning, cooking, or anything that involved excessive movement for 8 weeks because I had a C-section. I was shocked but I kind of liked it as the whole marriage he had maybe cooked a meal if I was busy maybe three times by that point. Of course that didn't last.

Now that she's almost a year old, I am very scared about what will happen as he told me he was giving me a "grace period" until she was one year old. Then he expects me to do everything like I always had and take care of her. Also, since I had a C-section, you have to wait at least a year between pregnancies or its another C-section. Since it has been a year now, he has told me he wants to start trying again. I told him he's already a terrible father, there will be no more kids.

I am not sure what's going to happen.

0 notes

spongebobafettywap · 10 months

Note

Also quick question, wasn't it Abyss and Kiwi Black he also had a strong link to?

correct, it was probably tied to how they each had a power set slightly similar to his like abyss' which is tied to space alteration.

(while i was looking this up to be sure i read that abyss just got killed which is... sad because apparently it was the only way to solve an issue as he still couldn't control his powers. even after being on an island with other mutants and scientists for 3 years. dude is just unlucky)

Also a male writer being unfamiliar with female biology is par for the course in Marvel comics LOL.

oh believe me i know. but this just took every single one of the standard bad i was used to and blew it out of the water. like the panel where destiny is having nightcrawler... this now exists.

i- i don't even know where to start. the proportions are off (how long are destiny's femurs), the perspective is off (the must-wear-a-tie-on-the-job medical 'professional' they had is too far away from her to be of any help or see anything).

for the 22 hours this went on, they let her keep her glasses even tho she's blind and thus wouldn't need them in the first place as they serve no purpose and might become a nuisance real quick... (like the whole process makes you sweat and builds pressure on your head/face so glasses can get pretty uncomfortable). also they'd fall off/ slip from her face especially due to the labor position she's in...

because destiny is nearly sitting down on her hands and knees, slightly hunched over (instead of arched up), in actual pants while doing all of that. it becomes more jarring to see because fake-pregnant mystique next to her is in a more-practical-for-the occasion nightgown even tho she's not gonna deliver any baby any time soon

quick side note on the time taken here for the delivery : each pregnancy is different and complications do arise but destiny already had kids before so it should have gone smoother than what this story implies in both process and positioning besides the doc or mystique could have better advised her on the latter. (the writer might have accidentally leaned on the ' azazel's children are harder to deliver ' route too due to his poor knowledge on anything and in that case that's yet another common factor between nightcrawler and azazel's biological children...)

overall when you combine this panel with any medical knowledge you might have,

it just looks like nightcrawler came out of the wrong orifice okay ?

and if he supposedly came out of the right one, the only possible outcome to this poor attempt at that specific labor position is a dead baby nightcrawler as he would suffocate between destiny's legs before drawing his first breath... on the account of those damn pants

does destiny actually want this kid or is she deliberately dwindling his chances of survival before he's even out fr

Well you know they will have all important Street Brawls as part of the next Marvel Crossover event I'm sure. Marvel: Secret Street Brawls.

mystique just casually organizes encounters between specific heroes and villains after making a poll of "who do you wanna see fight" and "which street needs more wrecking" online then she films everything and updates it to cash in on some good old advert money. that's it, that's how the whole event should be about

It's like everything you're telling me gives me more reasons to never go back to reading Marvel. I felt like my tastes in story telling really matured after I started watching shows like Breaking Bad, Better Call Saul and reading and Watching Jojo's bizarre adventure. Maybe there's a reason why the best stories function with a beginning and an end and don't go on endlessly with too many cooks stirring the pot.

Like seriously wasting Abyss for what? Some storyline no one cares about? You know its interesting how you'll be one of the few people to point that out about how stupid the drawing of female anatomy is. Of course a lot of people just really like the "appearing progressive" angle that Marvel loves to do so they can sell a headline instead of putting thought into it, much like how they did when they decided Bobby should just be gay in such a contrived way like having Jean mindread him and tell him he's gay. Like they couldn't just have him explore his own sexuality? With his own feelings on how his relationships went and what genders he likes? Side note I really hate whenever someone criticises a story thats made to appear progressive gets lumped in with reactionary bigots as if whenever you write something with the intention of progressive you are absolutely free from criticism its just so childish really.

Honestly yeah they do need to just have Marvel Street Brawl be a thing and then they could also try to be deep about it like they did with AvX and pretend like there's this massive moral dilemma situation "Should we destroy this Street or not? That's a big problem and we need to answer it in 50 issues"

#Maz answers

0 notes

midnightstar-90 · 3 years

Text

Hidden~ Eddie Diaz x Nash! Reader

A/N: I wanted to add some action, so I moved up when Shannon decided to divorce Eddie. Eddie is too good to make him into a cheater. I'm not really good at describing intimate-type stuff either.

Lose Some, Win Some

Y/N's POV

I am finally home. I'm home with my son, and the school gave me a couple of days to rest. I sat on my couch, watching the news. "Today, police suspect LAFD's 118 for robbing $300,000 worth of cash from a local bank. Police say that the LAFD was there to help the bank manager and a delivery man with a seizure or a possible nerve agent. Police also say that they found the cash inside one of their firetrucks. More information coming up, soon."

After hearing that, I remember the number on one of the firetrucks at the crash. The 118 saved me, and if they saved me, that means that Eddie and my dad are being questioned for a robbery. I haven't known Eddie long, but I know that Eddie, nor my father, would rob a bank.

Zachary walks into the room. "Mommy, I'm ready for bed," my little man says. I turn to him and say, "Ok, I'll be in there in a bit." He runs back to his room.

I hear a knock at the door. It is almost 9:30 pm. Who could be at my door? I go to the door and look through the peephole. Eddie and Christopher stand at the door with a to-go bag.

I open the door, and I say, "Eddie? Chris? what are you doing here?" "I bet you have heard about what is going on. The police have ransacked our house, and I was wondering if you could watch Chris until this blows over?" Eddie asked me desperately.

I smile at the two boys. "Sure. Chris, Zach is in his room getting ready for bed. You can go hang out with him until I get you a bed ready. His room is down the hall, the First door on the left," I tell the little boy, and then turn to Eddie.

He hands me Chris' night bag, and I joke and say, "There better not be any evidence in here." He chuckles, saying, "Nope, no evidence, just clothes, and a toothbrush."

I invite him into my apartment. He walks in and says, "Nice apartment. Is that a skylight?" He points up, at the skylight, in my living room.

(Y/N's Living room /w a skylight)

"Yeah, when Levi died, I would tell Zach that his father was watching him from the stars. So, I decided that anytime we missed Levi, we would watch the stars," I said, trying not to tear up.

Eddie reaches in his pocket and pulls out a picture. "I'm guessing this is Levi?" Eddie asks, handing me the picture. I look at the picture and lose my cool. Eddie sits me on the couch and just hugs me.

This is the closest I've ever been to a man since Levi. It felt good. I felt protected. I don't need protection because I was in the navy, but this man made me feel loved.

We sat on the couch, with me crying into his shirt. "Mommy, aren't you gonna put me to bed?" "Yeah." I get up, heading into my child's room.

Eddie follows me into the room, and what he sees shocks him.

(Zachary's bed)

Christopher is sitting on the bottom bunk of a firehouse bed. The whole room was dedicated to firefighters. When we got in that crash, and he met his grandfather, Zach decided that when he gets older, he would become a firefighter.

Christopher looks at his dad and says, "Dad, Zach said he wants to be like you and uncle Buck when he gets older."

Eddie continues to look around. He walks towards the cubby. Inside the cubby is some of Zach's favorite toys, some pictures of Levi and I, and some pictures of Zach and I. What really caught Eddie's eye, was the picture of Zach on my shoulders, at the El Paso Zoo.

I am tucking the boys in, when I hear, "You were in El Paso?" I look back and say, "Yeah, that was Zach's 2nd birthday. Levi was born in Austin, but he grew up in El Paso." Eddie just nods and goes back to looking around.

As I'm tucking Christopher in he says, "Dad and I are from El Paso. It would have been cool if we met before LA." I smile at the boy, before walking out and turning off the lights.

"We have a lot in common, you know?" Eddie tells me. I look at him and he looks back. "Oh, really?" I ask. Eddie and I move closer to each other. I continue to look at the man and I ask, "Like what?" "Well, for starters, we were both fought for our country." Imagining this man in a military uniform made the moment even hotter. I moved closer. "Ok, and?" "And, we both had a son at a young age."

At this point, he was towering over me. I quickly pulled the man into a kiss. He kisses back. I move my hands from my side to his chest, and he grabs my hips. He deepens the kiss as I move my hands from his chest to his neck. I feel strong hands go under my shirt.

We keep making out for a couple of minutes until I pull back. "I'm so sorry. I forgot you married," I say frantically. "She told me she wasn't ready. She filed for divorce. I also didn't feel like our relationship was working. She left us when Chris was little. I kinda like this hot teacher, who was in the Navy and has a son. Also, she knows about being a firefighter." Eddie tells me, holding my hands.

I kiss Eddie again. Eddie and I head to my room, without breaking the kiss. That night was the best night in forever. Everyone got a sleepover.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The robbery thing has been put behind us, but a new problem has arrived. My father didn't tell the LAFD everything about why he transferred, therefore leaving him suspended. He hasn't told me either, but I think it is best to let him come to me about it.

I started work again today, except I feel like I'm looking after 3 kids. My dad insisted that we hang out, you know since he wasn't there for most of my life.

I wake up at 5 am to a large banging noise. I look to see who it is, and surprise surprise, it is my father with tons of groceries. "Dad, what are you doing here. Zach is still asleep, and I don't have to be up till 7 am." I tell my dad, letting him in.

He heads to my kitchen and sits down the food. "I was thinking that I could make you and Zach breakfast, and then I could take you to work."

I gave my father a loving look. I feel bad that his past came back to haunt him, but maybe something good will come out of it. Besides, I missed the father/daughter bonding we had. Eddie told me his food is at grade A chef level, so why not let him cook for me.

"Well I love what you're doing, but I'm missing sleep. If it's fine with you, could I go back to sleep?" I ask, and receive a nod back. I walk to my room, but I turn back to check upon him. I know he's sad, but at this moment he looks happy.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I woke up at 7 am to a heavenly smell. I walk into the kitchen, after remembering my dad was making breakfast. As leave the hallway to see my son and father talking about firefighting. I smile, and my dad turns to face me.

"Ah, you're awake! I woke up Zach and got him dressed for you." my dad says taking a bite of the french toast. I go into the kitchen and make myself some food. I see french toast, fresh fruit, bacon, eggs, and freshly squeezed orange juice. I look amazed as I take some of everything.

My dad works up the courage to ask me a question, "I was wondering if you wanted to stop by the firehouse, like old times. I have some people I would like you to meet." With my mouth full, I say, "Yeah, I missed those days" "Oh man, mommy is breaking a rule. She is talking with her mouth full," Zach says to the man next to him.

Dad laughs. "Well I ate, but I have to get dressed." I head to my room to get dressed.

(Y/N's outfit to work)

I walk back into the living room and we get ready to head out. We make it to the school, and I say goodbye to my father. I take Zach to class. I get to the office and I see Eddie and Chris. "Hey, I was just hanging with your fire captain." "Well, can you tell him we want him back because his replacement is terrible?" I laugh.

"So, are you coming to the firehouse?" Eddie asked me like he knew my dad would ask me. I give the firefighter a suspicious look and then say, "Yeah, my dad asked me this morning. Would you like me to bring Chris?" He gives me a "yeah, sure", and then we say goodbye.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Christopher and I had so much fun. We were in math, and I helped teach him fractions with mini Kit-Kats. Then, in English, we acted out storytime with his class. The day ended in science, where we build and erupted our own volcanos.

It is the end of the day, some and of the boys waited outside for my father. When he arrived, we got in and started heading towards the fire station, which was only a 5-minute drive.

We walk into the 118's fire station, and Zach went off. A scream could be heard throughout the whole building. All the firefighters and paramedics stopped to see what was going on. My dad walked up to me and said, "Just like his mother."

Eddie and another man walked down the stairs to see what was happening. I smile at the majestic man walking towards me. We go into a hug before I hear a cough.

"Eddie, aren't you gonna introduce me to the pretty lady," the man asked Eddie. I smile at the man, but Eddie and my dad roll their eyes. My dad jumps into the conversation, "Buck, this is my daughter, Y/N, and her son, Zach. Y/N, this is Buck."

Buck and I shake hands. "My name is actually Evan Buckley, but everyone calls me Buck. You are somewhat of what Eddie has told me. Your pretty, but I expected a younger Bobby, with boobs." Eddie smacks Buck's chest.

I'm laughing and I head upstairs with the others. "Mommy! Mommy! Can I go down the fire pole," Zach asks, tugging on my pant leg? I nod my head yes.

Another man and woman walk over and sit with us in the lounge. "Why is there a little boy running around? Did someone drop him off, because I think your only supposed to do that with babies, not children," the man said, sitting right next to me. "That's my son. I'm Y/N." I hold out my hand waiting for the man to shake it. "I'm Howie, but everyone calls me Chimney. This is Hen," The man says, and the woman waves.

We continue to talk until the emergency bell rings. Everyone heads downstairs, but I pull Eddie back. I give him a long kiss, with my arms around his neck and his around my waist.

I pull back and say, "I had fun the other night. Maybe, I could see if my dad could watch the boys, and you and I could maybe have dinner at my house." Eddie groans and says, "Oh, how I would love that. We could also watch a movie."

This man will be the death of me. "Yeah, but you need to go." Eddie runs off to an emergency, I head to the store with my dad, Christopher, and Zachary.

"You know, you don't have to hide Eddie from me," He tells me. I look at him shocked. "I see the way you guys look at each other, and I saw you guys kiss today," he says calmly.

"Well, since you know could you help me make a meal for him and I tonight, and can you watch the boys?" I practically beg. He nods, and then he moves towards the isles, picking out ingredients.

"I don't want to intrude, so I will give you a recipe card. But yes, I will take the boys, just use protection. I don't want to see another grandchild for a while," he says, earning a smack on the chest from me. "There are children around," I whisper.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My dad gave me a recipe for Ravioli, served with garlic bread and bacon-wrapped asparagus. I am almost finished cooking when I hear a knock.

(Y/N's Date Outfit)

I open the door to see a devastated Eddie. I go in to hug him, and Eddie says, "She's dead. Shannon died in the emergency room. That call we left for, that was for her. What am I gonna tell Christopher."

I welcome the man in, and I sit him on the couch. "Do you want to eat?" I ask, hoping that I could get him to relax and eat. "No" is all I hear, before he shoves his face into my shoulder, and lets it all out. I rub his back and say, "Everything will be fine."

We sit there, on the couch, just cuddling. I smell something burning. My eyes widen and I yell, "My bread!"

Eddie's mind comes back to earth and he heads towards the kitchen. Not only is the bread burnt, but there was also a slight fire. Eddie quickly grabbed the fire extinguisher and put out the fire.

I was so scared. Eddie saved me from a fire. At the moment, I forgot all about the food, Eddie's emotions, and everything else. I kissed Eddie out of thankfulness. We kissed for about a minute before he pulled away.

"Sorry, I shouldn't have done that, with everything going on. I was scared. I could've just stood there and let the fire grow, but no, you saved me. You are m-" Eddie cut me off with a kiss.

Eddie picked me up and took me to my room. He laid me on my bed, and next thing you know, our clothes are off.

Taglist: @notanordinaryprincess95 @jjpogueprincess @wiypt-writes

#eddie diaz #christopher diaz #bobby nash #athena grant #maddie buckley #howie han #henrietta wilson #evan buckley #eddie diaz x reader #x daughter!reader #x reader #fanfic #wattpad #911onfox #bobby nash x reader #chimney han #buck buckley #series

183 notes · View notes

clatterbane · 3 years

Text

Tonight's Delight: More fast food delivery, Swedish Edition! This time Mr. C's suggestion, from Max Burgers. I had been curious to try their stuff, especially since it does have a reputation as better than average. Finally doing that.

Once again, I wasn't sure what to get, but settled on a basic DeliVery Cheezy Burger meal (on gluten free bun), with Cheese Fries and a small Choklad Dreamshake. 🍟🍔🥤

I had been tempted to just go for one of their kids' meals, but nah may as well reach higher and order like a grown-ass adult this evening. 😋 (Even though he got hungry and wanted to order before I was ready for much else, with my funky schedule and limited capacity.)

Worst case? I'd have some part of a burger and fries for later, or just more fodder for biogas and fertilizer in the food waste bag if any leftovers reheat badly enough. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ (Possibly minus some meat salvaged for the cats, and/or my own consumption.) Still really don't like wasting food, but it bothers me less if it's not headed straight for a landfill.

Anyway, group ordering through Wolt looked like an attractive option again. With an estimate of like 25 minutes once we got that submitted. Their estimates have been accurate enough so far--especially once the drivers have hit the road--that I did decide to live dangerously and dose insulin to cover half the shake after it was showing the driver underway with an ETA of about 15 minutes. Because I knew I would be wanting to attack that ASAP!

The rest of that waiting in the freezer, to possibly polish off with a spoon later. 😁 Not opening it up for a not very useful photo op. It looked like a slightly grainy fast food shake which was starting to melt? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ No trouble slurping some up with the straw, though it was still nicely slushy.

I did notice a nutty taste, and was curious. Aha! What is Dreamshake? Turns out it is coconut milk based, which did work extremely well flavorwise with the chocolate I ordered. Max evidently switched over to vegan-by-default for their basic shakes several years back. May also help explain the slightly grainy texture, though tbf I have gotten enough "regular" dairy-containing ones over the years that the noticeable ice crystals didn't really stand out that much. Not enough in this one to really bother me.

No need to grab any backup juice or anything, as it turned out. I actually ended up popping the shake in the freezer for about 5 minutes after the food got here, to give the insulin a little more time to start working. (Another thing that the CGM makes so much easier, BTW: you can watch in close to realtime for when it does start kicking in! For less of a blood sugar spike afterward, with any luck.)

That yummy yummy sugar bomb plus a little more Novorapid duly deployed, and we can move on to the rest of this show!

Didn't remember that this was supposed to be a double cheeseburger, but no complaints!

The burger is specially adapted for home delivery - now DeliVery Cheezy is here

Basically, those menu options leave off any of their standard toppings like lettuce or tomato that won't hold up well. (Good! Saves me some trouble.) I also didn't notice that this category evidently does NOT include the mayonnaise, but hey. Guess I'll take off the bottom of the bun and do my best to scrape the stuff off before nuking any portion of the thing. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Otherwise, there seems to be onion slices and some ketchup on there.

Rounding this show off with the smaller size of cheesy fries, plus a little cup of "Korean BBQ" from their sauce options on the side. Because why not. Mr. C opted for some Buffalo sauce to share, and I think some of the "Green & garlic" for himself? One of the creamy mayo-based choices.

Neither one of those items was at all bad, btw! I am not so sure about the standard inclusion of their Max Original Sauce on the cheese-saucy fries, since it is sort of like a less gross version of Big Mac sauce. 😒 Which put me off from ever developing a taste for Big Macs as a kid. But, the jalapeño and onion did help balance out the unwanted sweetness there.

Questionable sauce or no, I wolfed fries down hastily enough to get a chunk of still pretty textured potato crossways--so that it halfway blocked up my gullet before I even got to the burger! 🙄

Thankfully, that was only partway, and I had decided to take a cautious approach and only dose enough insulin to cover whatever food I was about to eat. Taking a little breather with a nice hot throat-relaxing cup of tea does seem to have dislodged that troublesome tater, as I was hoping.

Still waiting a while to start tackling my double cheeseburger, though! Was planning to push ahead. But I did bolt down a decent bit of fries in spite of going in still feeling halfway full from starting into a late lunch by the time he suggested ordering the burgers. So, I'm now feeling like I'd really better let the stuff I already ate settle for a little while before attempting to devour anything else!

Pretty satisfying so far, at least. And not sorry he did suggest Max!

#food #long post #delivery night #fast food #max burger #cheeseburger #cheese fries #chocolate shake #swedish food #welcome to sweden #esophageal stricture #swallowing bs #type 1 diabetes #needles mention #t1 diabetes #look out honey cause i'm using technology #gluten free #celiac

8 notes · View notes

vennysbottom · 4 years

Text

I don’t need it

Wilhemina Venable x FemReader

Words: 2,8K

warning: eating disorders, angst i guess

A/N: I have no idea what this is but I needed to get out of my head. Please, please don’t read this if you think it could trigger you.

*Also, I read something similar on here but couldn’t find it, so if you know, pls tell me so that I could give them credit.

It wasn't enough. The truth was, it was never enough. No number ever seemed right anymore. Each morning you were afraid to weigh yourself, knowing it determined how your day was going to go. For the past few months, the only thing on your mind was weight loss and how you looked. You couldn't focus on anything else, you found it hard to be your positive self and most importantly, you were losing yourself.

You were losing yourself again.

You were not sure how many times this has already happened, but you knew what was going on. There was no reason to try to prevent it though, you felt like you needed to lose a few pounds anyway and saw no harm in doing it this way. Or more accurately, you chose not to see it.

“Y/N baby, I'm leaving” your girlfriend's voice coming from downstairs brought you back to reality. Not realising how long you've been analysing your body in the bathroom; you ran to the front door.

“Still in your pyjamas?” she said while giving you a half-smile. Wilhemina herself was looking as professional as ever, given that it was just 7 AM. She had her hair up, makeup on, and was wearing one of those purple fits that you loved on her. Each morning she amazed you by how good she looked. You leaned in to give her a goodbye-kiss which she gladly returned.

“Have a good day. Love you” you said while getting a hold of her one free hand. She gave it a light squeeze before saying “I made you coffee. I love you too.” And just like that, she was out of the door and you were alone.

You stood at the doorway for a couple of seconds, deciding what to do today. You had a few online classes that day but they only took up half of the day, leaving the whole afternoon to yourself.

You went into the kitchen to get your coffee, trying to be as quick as possible. You didn't like being there anymore, it made you feel anxious and guilty. Although, for the majority of your relationship with Mina it has been nothing but nice; you loved cooking dinners for her every day to make her relax and talk about what kind of day the both of you had had, you loved having slow Sunday mornings there. But none of that hasn't happened for quite a while now. Avoiding meals equalled constant lying; on the weekend you’d sleep in since your energy levels were constantly low, and most days you’d lie to get out of eating dinner. You would say that you had to study for a test, had an assignment due or simply that you had already eaten by the time Wilhemina got home.

All of these thoughts were flooding your mind from just standing in the room. You quickly grabbed the cup and left to go into your home office.

Your classes began at 8 and by the time noon arrived you were done for the day. You couldn’t focus on anything your lecturers were saying, which wasn’t uncommon, but this time it wasn’t just the fact that you were exhausted that kept you from paying attention. You kept thinking about how your relationship was slowly starting to fail. You and Mina were in love, but the truth is, your lies were undermining the trust between you two. Until your relapse, you had never lied to her and that’s why she knew that she could always count on you. But she started noticing how distant you were getting and how little time you wanted to spend with her; it hurt her, but she decided to just play along and pretend like everything was fine.

You were aware of all of this. You knew you needed to fix this but sadly enough, you didn’t know how to do that. There was no way you’d be willing to eat - the fear was too overwhelming for you. That’s why you decided to do the next best thing - a quick fix.

The first thing you came up with was a visit at work. There was a high risk of catching your girlfriend taking out her frustrations on one of her poor employees, but the only thing on your mind at that moment was making Wilhemina feel loved. You were mad at yourself for neglecting her because you knew that she deserved way better than that.

You got dressed and made your way to Kineros Robotics, stopping along the way at her favourite coffee shop. You had worked at the company a few years prior, so you knew most of the people by name and knew the place perfectly.

“Hey Jenny!” you greeted your former co-worker with a smile once you’ve made your way up to the front desk. “Y/N! What are you doing here?” she said while looking away from her computer. “Oh, I’m looking for a woman and thought she might be here. You may have seen her actually; long red hair, very kind, the same height as me… Does that ring any bells?”

“Was she wearing purple by any chance?” she asked jokingly.

“You know what? It is possible! How’d you know?” you answered and gave her a toothy smile.

“Try her office Y/N/N. But just a warning: she screamed at me today for letting in a delivery-guy, so she’s probably not in the best mood,” she said while pointing you in the direction.

You knew this was your fault; she does get snappier at work when she's worried about something. So, not only are you two miserable but others get screamed at more frequently. Maybe a quick fix wouldn’t be enough this time, but it was the best you could do for now.

You arrived at Mina’s office to find it empty so you hesitantly made your way down to the guys’ office. It didn’t take long for you to hear muffled voices, one of which belonged to the woman you were looking for, and you could tell that she was upset about something. Upon entering the room, you saw her; she had her back towards you and was supporting herself by the cane in her right hand. Just this image alone was enough to make your heart race. Jeff and Mutt were bending down to sniff what seemed like their daily dose of cocaine. There were also two girls sitting on a table near them, probably just random hookers the guys hired for the day.

“No, no, no, that’s not what I said. What I meant was, that you should watch your temper more” Mutt said loudly before turning around to start typing on his keyboard.

You saw Wilhemina tighten her grip on her cane, “Excuse me?” she said in a cold tone, clearly getting ready to argue.

Jeff stood up after attempting to clean the powder from his nose, “Come on babe. You know you could be nicer to the employees”.

“Shut up Jeff,” you said sternly, making all the heads turn in your direction. “You’re paying her to do all the work around here that you are too lazy to do yourselves, not to be nice to people.” You could see the surprise on Wilhemina's face, but it didn't take her long to regain her composure and protectively reach for your hand once you've reached her side.

Jeff smiled at you and said “Y/N! Long-time no see. Have you finally changed your mind?”

You haven’t seen the two idiots for a couple of months, almost making you forget how gross they were. You took a step forward and stated “I wouldn’t touch your slimy dick with a two-feet pole,” which made both of them laugh slightly. “I'm here to put you in your place since you obviously still need to be reminded,” you continued giving them a cocky smirk. You knew they would not budge, but it was a nostalgic way of entertainment.

“Wow, you don’t have to be so rude baby,” he said pretending to be offended, “Seems to me like Ms.Venable has a bad influence on you.”

Oh, it was on. You were ready to shoot another remark but were stopped by your girlfriend’s hand giving you a squeeze and lightly pulling you back.

“I would choose my next words carefully if I were you; you’re on very thin ice,” Mina said while staring at Jeff. She would normally avoid confrontation with them but her possessive side got the best of her in that moment. Softening her expression, she turned to face you, “Would you wait for me in my office? I need to sort some things out.”

You nodded and turned on your heel to leave. Hearing Jeff shout at you “The offer still stands!” made you turn once more and say truthfully “Hope your brain turns into mush soon, asshole.”

Once you were out of the door and far enough that nobody thought you could hear them anymore Mutt started the conversation, “Damn Ms.Venable, are you even feeding her?” which made a look of confusion appear on Wilhemina's face. “Now, what’s that supposed to mean?” she asked with a hint of offence, trying to find an answer in the face of one of them. Since Jeff was the one who knew you the longest, he decided to explain, “Oh don’t tell me you haven’t noticed anything,” still seeing the puzzled look on his secretary’s face, he went on, “For fuck’s sake, don’t you live together? You must have noticed the weight loss, plus Y/N is never very subtle about this.”

That’s when it clicked and Wilhemina finally understood what Jeff was implying, “She's never subtle? This has happened before?”

She waited impatiently for an answer, hoping that all of this was just a sick joke; the other two exchanged a look of mutual understanding and Mutt finally said: “You should talk to her.”

You paced around the office trying to figure out what to do and how to fix this situation. You knew that Mina was hurt and probably even disappointed; you knew her instinct would be to build her walls up again and you were terrified she wouldn’t let you fully in again. Once you heard the sounds of her cane getting closer, you knew there was no preparing for this.

She entered the room with a somewhat disapproving expression on her face, which she successfully hid when you shot her a warm smile, waiting for her to sit in the chair while you leant on her table. Sitting down, she looked at the cup you were nervously playing with and narrowed her eyes at you. “I thought you might need cheering up today, so I got you your favourite,” you said while placing the coffee on her desk. And you could swear, at that exact moment, you saw love light up her eyes, and the slight smile she offered you gave you butterflies, just like the first time you saw her smile like that. The silence between you that followed made you play with your fingers anxiously but after a while, it was broken by Wilhemina's soft voice, “Well thank you. I appreciate it.”

“But that's not the only reason I stopped by. I've finished all my work for the week…” you traced off preparing yourself to say the latter part, which you'd much rather avoid, “So I thought that I could cook dinner for us tonight because I haven’t done that for a while now. And I wanted to ask you if there was anything you’d like.” At that point your heart was beating so fast you were sure she could hear it.

She could see how uncomfortable you were but wasn’t able to pinpoint the reason for your behaviour; she didn’t know whether it was due to your relationship hitting a rough patch or because Jeff and Mutt might have been right. Either way, she knew she’d find out tonight; playing it cool she kissed you on the cheek and told you that it was completely up to you.

Cooking the food was fine, calming even, but once it was done you realised that you actually had to eat it which caused you to panic. You tried to calm down but your eating disorder made that almost impossible. You sat at the table for what seemed like hours trying to come up with an excuse, eventually deciding to just drink wine and lie if you were to be questioned.

You were disturbed from your state by the door opening and your girlfriend coming into view. She locked eyes with you instantly. You could tell that she was exhausted, that wasn’t anything out of the ordinary after all, but there was more tonight. Wilhemina hasn’t been able to concentrate on anything else than you for the rest of the afternoon. She analysed the situation, her potential steps and their outcomes for the whole ride home. What scared her the most was the fact that in both scenarios, she was running a risk of losing you.

You were both tense, expecting the other one to start a fight and unable to relax, so you only made small talk. You sat at the table with your glass of wine, playing with the food on your plate while watching Mina observe you closely. Then the tension got too much and she barked out, “Aren't you going to eat?” in a tone so cold, it reminded you of the times you worked for her. She held eye contact with you, almost daring you to lie to her. Almost daring you to start a fight that would break her heart. You quickly answered, saying that you ate right before she came so you were pretty full. Keeping your eyes on her face, you saw her expression change - she went from being irritated to being seemingly sad in a matter of seconds.

“Do you still love me?”

Once the question left her lips, there was no taking it back and it physically hurt you that she had to ask. It hurt to know that Wilhemina felt so abandoned by you, she actually thought you were going to leave her; and judging by the look in her eyes, she was ready for you to say “no”. Wasting no time, you answered, “Of course. Of course, I still love you, Mina.” hoping to sound genuine enough for her to believe you. You watched her closely, waiting for her reaction, but to your surprise, her feelings were shoved back down just as quickly as they surfaced.

She straightened her posture before stating, “Well, in that case, we need to talk.” You felt yourself freeze, knowing exactly what was about to go down.

“Have you been eating?” she asked, not letting you drift your eyes away from hers. You knew she’d catch on eventually and call you out, but you had hoped you had a little more time. With a confused expression on your face, you said, “What do you mean?”.

Wrong answer. Wilhemina was tired of your bullshit and you trying to hide it from her. Her face seemingly hardened as she explained, “I haven’t seen you have a meal in weeks. You’re always making excuses, saying you’re too busy to sit down with me. The two idiots even implied this isn’t the first time this has happened.”

You knew there was no point in pretending anymore, so not caring about the consequences anymore, you snapped, “Oh, so it took Jeff and Mutt telling you everything for you to notice? Good to know.” You got up to leave but the sudden sound of Mina’s cane hitting the floor made you stop in your tracks. “Sit your ass down,” she ordered through gritted teeth. Seeing how mad she was getting and how her knuckles whitened, you thought it was better to obey. Although Wilhemina liked establishing dominance, she very rarely raised her voice at you. But this was different, she was pissed that you refused to take care of yourself and she knew she had to be strict.

“Y/N, eat. Now,” she demanded in a stern tone. You were sitting down, fork in one hand and anxiously pulling the skin on your leg with the other. After a few minutes of silence, she reached for your hand under the table and with a pleading look in her eyes, she said softly, “Baby… please, try. For me.”

You couldn’t stand seeing her like this, so you hesitantly started to eat. You hated it, and the feeling of food in your stomach made you sick. Wilhemina rubbed slow circles on your hand in an attempt to calm you down. Despite her effort, tears started to fall down your cheeks about halfway through the meal, but you still managed to finish everything.

Seeing the plate finally empty caused you to sob uncontrollably. Mina approached you quickly and put her arms around you, pulling you into a tight hug. In between sobs, you whispered, “I hate you so much right now.” In response, she said, “Shhh, I know. I know,” while stroking your hair.

“You did good, little one.”

#sarah paulson x reader #wilhemina venable x reader #ahs imagine #ahs fanfiction #ahs apocalypse #wilhemina venable #ms venable #sarah paulson imagine

289 notes · View notes

silver-wield · 4 years

Text

Baby names

"Well, now, there's a figure I ain't seen in a long while. How you been?"

Cloud half-turned at the familiar voice, brows drawn and scowl in place. His expression cleared when he recognised the speaker, and he nodded in greeting. "Sam." He crossed the street, keeping a tight hold on his bag of groceries and sending a glance over his shoulder to indicate where he was going. "Things are good, thanks. You?"

Sam shrugged. "Well as can be expected, all things considered."

Cloud's brow quirked. "That's bullshit," he replied in an amused tone. "With the way fuel's running out you must be raking in the business." He had a dwindling supply for fenrir, but sooner or later even that would be gone. The planet was healing and people were finding more natural ways to live. Strife Delivery would eventually have to adapt too. But not yet.

Sam slotted his thumbs through the loops on his jeans and laughed. "You got me there." The intervening ten years since Cloud last saw Sam were fairly kind to him. With greying hair and a slight paunch, he still carried himself with that reckless air every hardened gambler had. Looking around, Sam gestured at Cloud's groceries and said, "Y'all out with your lady friend? Strange seeing you lookin' all domesticated."

Cloud shook his head and glanced to his right as a couple of boys came running up. "Did you get it?"

The elder one nodded and held up a bag of dumb apples. "Did I get enough, dad?"

Sam's brows shot up. "Well now, that's unexpected." He frowned at the gangly teenager with messy brown hair and a broad smile. "Is my math wrong?"

Cloud scoffed. "Probably." He put his hand on his son's shoulder. "This is Denzel." He pulled the younger boy to stand in front of him. "And this is Zack."

Sam's keen gaze swept over a six year old with black hair and blue eyes. "Looks like his mother," he said at last, looking up and smirking at Cloud. "Said you'd be ridin' to her rescue."

"Yeah, I'm a real Prince," Cloud said in a dry tone.

Zack tugged on Cloud's wrist. "Be nice."

Denzel smothered a laugh. "We should get back before mom's craving makes her eat the bar."

Cloud smothered a chuckle and nodded.

Sam smirked. "Expectin', is she?" At Cloud's nod, he added, "Congratulations."

Raising a hand to the back of his head, Cloud looked bashful, but smug, as he replied, "Thanks."

"Nice little family you've got."

"We got sisters, too," Zack said, then pulled a face. "I want the baby to be a boy, so there's more of us."

Cloud ruffled Zack's hair. "Girls aren't so bad."

Sam looked at Cloud like he was staring at a stranger. "You really Cloud? What, you running an orphanage or something?"

Denzel and Cloud looked amused.

"More like mom collects kids."

"Hey, you're one of those kids."

"I'm not a kid anymore." Denzel folded his arms and tried to look tough.

Sam laughed. "You look as much a runt as this one used to." He pointed at Cloud and grinned.

Cloud rolled his eyes and tightened his hold on the groceries in his arm. "Runt who saved the planet twice," he muttered in a petulant voice.

Zack tugged on Cloud's arm again. "Dad, I'm bored."

Cloud raised his eyebrows and shrugged one shoulder. "Nice seeing you. Come on, boys."

Arriving back at Seventh Heaven, Cloud watched Zack dragging Denzel across the room to where Tifa sat at a corner table with Marlene and Shelke. He proudly presented the bag of apples and grinned at Tifa's praising of them both. While it appeared Denzel was acting cool, Cloud could see he was also happy at Tifa's compliments as she took a bite of a dumb apple and looked rapturous at the taste. Though she'd tied her long hair up, strands already escaped to frame her face. She seemed relaxed, though Cloud recognised the accounting books sitting in front of her, which always put furrows in her brow no matter how good business was. A few customers sat at other tables, with Marlene or Shelke getting up to serve them.

At fourteen, Marlene cultivated a confident attitude similar to Tifa's. She still wore her hair in a braid with a ribbon tying it up in honour of Aerith.

After stashing the groceries, Cloud went to the table and caught the tail end of the girls conversation. Baby names. Great. He and Tifa broached the topic in bed the night before and wound up agreeing to disagree. He felt like he'd missed something during the conversation, but couldn't figure out why Tifa had reservations. It wasn't like when they'd decided on Zack's name. With a catch in his voice, he'd suggested it after a long period mulling it over. The relief on Tifa's face made him realise she'd been thinking something else was going on with him and he'd promised not to worry her like that again. Zack for a boy and Aerith for a girl in honour of their lost friends. It seemed fitting at the time, though Cloud was glad when the baby turned out to be a boy. His guilt over Zack's death lessened with the passing years, but he knew he never lived up to being a legacy. This way he kept his vow and only felt positive things whenever he thought of his best friend. But, when he suggested Aerith's name again this time Tifa seemed reluctant and wouldn't say why.

"What about a flower name?" Marlene suggested, as she sat back at the table beside Shelke.

"Yes, that would be neutral and an homage," Shelke added.

Tifa hummed and shrugged. Her gaze flicked to Zack and she said, "Maybe. I dunno. I feel like--oh, Cloud, is everything okay?" She looked at him and smiled.

He nodded. "Yup." The look on her face spoke volumes and he didn't want to wait until later to work this out. "Guys, give us a minute?"

Marlene and Shelke got up without argument, but Denzel needed a push to move.

"Why? Can't I stay?" Zack looked at Tifa.

She smiled and brushed a hand through his spiky hair. "It'll just be a minute, then we'll go take some photos, okay?"

Zack pouted. "Promise?"

Tifa nodded. "Uh huh." She held her pinky finger out and Zack linked it with his own. They touched thumbs and he said, "You gotta or else."

With a sweet and low pitched laugh, Tifa encouraged Zack to follow his siblings upstairs. Her face grew less animated when she looked up at Cloud. "What did you want to talk about?"

Cloud drew in a slow breath, then slid into the booth beside her and turned to face her. He laid his arm along the back of the seat and took one of her hands in his. "Baby names?"

Tifa tried to smile. "It's nothing, really. I just didn't want to worry you."

He'd figured it out. Because they'd chosen to honour Zack's memory Tifa thought they had no choice but to do the same with Aerith. "You wanna choose a different name for a girl?"

She shook her head. "It's not that exactly. It's just there's so much. Too much for a child to carry."

Tifa was right. Even Aerith's name had a heavy burden attached to it. With Zack there wasn't that expectation. It was only a debt to Cloud, something personal between them, that added importance to the name. It wasn't so heavy, and even though Cloud felt that weight at times, mostly it lifted his spirits every time he looked at his son and thought of the memories he carried with him. Still, it seemed Tifa wanted to honour Aerith's memory, but didn't want to burden their child with an entire planet's legacy. He laid a hand on her stomach. The pregnancy was just over halfway and Tifa still didn't have a large bump. Her physique and fitness kept her fairly slim still, though last time she'd seemed to balloon overnight during the last two months. As it was right now, she just looked a little fuller figured. Like their baby was a precious secret only they knew. "What did Marlene suggest?" He'd heard something about flowers and figured Tifa was searching for a suitable substitute name.

After some hesitation, Tifa replied, "Lily." She laughed softly. "She remembered the one from the bar before. I said it means reunion and--" She broke off and took a deep breath. Tears sprang to her eyes and she shook her head. "I think maybe it's a good fit. What do you think?"

She looked at him with earnest eyes that shone with unshed tears. Cloud gathered her into his arms and kissed the top of her head. "Sounds good to me." It seemed Tifa was sure this baby was a girl the way she'd predicted Zack's gender. "Is this what you were trying to tell me last night?" He'd misunderstood. When Tifa broached names he'd been tired from a day of work and just wanted to hold her close and go to sleep. It was his fault he thought she meant something different to what things really were.

"Hmm." She nodded as she wound her arms around him and hugged tight. "Sorry. I should have explained it better."

Cloud shook his head. "It's on me. I should've thought it through." He leaned back to look her in the eye. "I'll do better."

Tifa smiled at him and said in a teasing voice, "You're already doing pretty good."

"Oh yeah?" He dipped his head towards hers until their lips almost met, then murmured, "Do I get a reward?" He enjoyed how she blushed in the seconds before she kissed him.

Things were okay, and would continue that way.

#final fantasy 7 remake #cloud strife #ff7r #ffviir #cloti #tifa lockheart #final fantasy 7r #final fantasy viir #compilation of final fantasy vii #final fantasy 7 advent children #final fantasy 7 remake fanfiction #Ff7 #Ffvii

56 notes · View notes

rikumorimachisgirl · 4 years

Text

Title: Seal the Deal

Characters: Bokuto x Reader

Genre: Fluff

Word count: 1,848

Author's note: So, I haven't written in a long time and I know I'm kinda rusty. Please bear with me.

Disclaimer: I do not own Haikyuu!! and the characters, but I own the plot for this fic.

'Congratulations! You have been selected as one of the winners in the Bouncing Ball Corp's Monster Generation giveaway. A limited-edition Nendoroid and a special surprise will arrive at your delivery address. Please confirm if you are available to receive this tomorrow by responding to this message. Thank you.'

You must've read the text message over a hundred times in the last twenty-four hours, but it still made your heart skip a beat. Setting your phone down, you stood up and tried to straighten up the flat that you had just moved into last month. It wasn't much - a cozy one-bedroom apartment with a small living area, which usually doubled as your dining area on days when you could eat a nice meal at home. It certainly was a far cry from the lavish three-bedroom apartment you once shared with your ex-boyfriend, but at least it was easier to clean.

Your ex-boyfriend - the wild, and oh-so-adorable big baby you'd loved since high school, the same one who broke your heart a few months back when he couldn't choose between you and the sport he loves, and the reason you sent in several entries to the Bouncing Ball Corp's giveaway. You sighed. If your friends found out you'd won a limited edition Nendoroid of that same person they had worked so hard to help you get over, you knew you'd be done for. But how exactly does one get over the sweet summer storm that is Kotaro Bokuto? And besides, you thought, at least a Nendoroid won't leave you unless you throw it out.

** Ding-dong **

The sound of your doorbell snapped you back to your senses. "Just a minute," you called out as you quickly tied your hair and hurried to the door in an oversized sweater and shorts. You could feel your heart beat faster at the thought that your precious Nendoroid was within reach. 'Oh, and the text message said there was a special surprise, too,' you thought quietly. Maybe, if you were lucky, you'll also get his signed jersey. That wouldn't be so bad, you thought again as you unlocked the door and pulled it open.

You gasped, as the person waiting right outside the door greeted you with the warmest smile and his signature line.

"Hey, hey, he -," he paused halfway through upon seeing you. "Y/N-chan?"

Hearing him say your name almost made you cry. You had missed how he always managed to make it sound so beautiful. You also missed his naughty smirk that usually came with calling your name. As you gazed at your reflection in his golden eyes, you wondered if - like you - this beautiful man thought of you, too. You had no idea how long you've been looking at each other, but it wasn't until you heard your neighbor's baby crying that you both shook yourselves out of your reverie.

"Oh, uh. Did you need anything?" You asked, trying to sound as casual as possible.

"Yes, I'm here to personally deliver the prize from Kenma. Kuroo asked to go, and this was the address he gave…," your ex-boyfriend said as he fumbled over his phone, looking for the exact message his friend has given. Glancing back and forth his phone and the number on the door, he scratched the back of his head. "See, it says 2404 -"

"Yes, Bokuto-san, I won the contest," you finally admitted, as you felt a blush slowly creep up your cheeks.

"You did?" He flashed you a dazzling smile, his eyes sparkled and you looked away. When he noticed your eyes move to the paper bag he was carrying, he cleared his throat. "Uh… yeah, this is for you…"

"Uh, thanks," you replied shyly, as you took the paper bag containing the Nendoroid of the very same person you were talking to now. Your gaze darted from his handsome face to the suddenly empty hall outside your flat, and you could tell he was feeling just as awkward. "So, uh…"

"So, uh, this is where you moved to?" He asked as he took a step forward to peek inside your humble abode.

"Uh-huh," you replied. "I-I'd invite you in, but…"

"Don't mind if I do," he said, stepping inside your pad. Even with his back facing you, you could tell that he was surveying your space, and you felt more and more flustered by the minute. "You have a microwave. I need to get me one of those."

"You have a microwave, Bokuto-san. It's top-of-the-line, and it was working fine when I moved out," you quipped, as you watched him from behind.

"Was it? Then I must've destroyed it the other day when I tried to use it to heat water," he said casually, as he looked around your pad some more.

"Your couch looks comfortable. I should probably buy one for my bedroom."

"What's wrong with the sectional? If I remember correctly, you had it customized by Fendi," you retorted.

"Did I? There must've been a reason I did, but I can't remember," he muttered, turning his attention to the wall. "Oh, this is a nice painting. I need one of these."

"That's just a painting I bought at a trift shop," you said, cocking an eyebrow at your tall ex-lover. "You have original Murukamis on your walls, Bokuto-san. We bought three of them in the fundraiser that Kuroo hosted."

"Oh. Of course," he sighed. "It's just that… well, your place is -"

"Small?"

"No, it's not that," he responded, as he gazed upward as if trying to find the right word.

"Tiny? Minuscule? Compact?"

"Hey, those all mean the same thing," he whined before plopping down on your couch. You quietly watched as he leaned back and stretched out his legs, trying hard not to bump the coffee table, but he still managed to do so. Something about the scene before you were so endearing, you found yourself smiling before you could stop yourself. And right about that time, your dashing ex-lover happened to look at you and smile back. Lifting his hand out to you, he said, "I'm just saying your new place sorta gives off a certain kind of vibe, you know."

Raising an eyebrow, you stared at his hand and thought twice about taking it. It wasn't like you never held hands before, but now that you've broken up, it all seems so weird.

But you wanted to take it. Oh, how you've imagined holding his hand a thousand times since you broke up, so just before he pulled away, you moved forward to grab it, and fell on his lap in the process. As you struggled to stand up, the dashing MSBY Outside Hitter put his arm around your waist to keep you from budging. "Ah, now this scene looks awfully familiar."

"Stop it, Bokuto-san," you said, hitting him on the chest so he could loosen his grip on you a little bit.

"Oh, but don't you think seeing each other after several months is fate?"

"More like a certain capitalist's underhanded scheme," you retorted, as you tried to wiggle your way out of his grasp.

"Just… just let me hold you a little longer, Y/N-chan… please?"

You stopped squirming as you listened to his silent plea, and you slowly turned your eyes met his. "Bokuto-san…"

"You could do better than that," he said, as he lifted one hand and traced the side of your face with his long fingers. "I… I missed you, Y/N-chan. I know this was all my fault, I just didn't think you'd up and leave."

"That's what usually happens when you say you love your career more than your girlfriend, Kotaro," you managed to reply, as you thought back to that fateful night when you had come home from attending another one of your friends' wedding stag because he had practice. He was watching one of their games against the Adlers, paying close attention to Ushijima and Kageyama's quick attacks when you sat beside him and recounted how beautiful the ceremony was and how much more fun it would've been if he had attended it with you. He'd usually humor you - asking you to tell him what you liked best about it, how the food was, and listen intently to what you had to say - but lately, he'd neither had the patience not the drive to hear you out and on that night, you weren't having it either. After your stories were met with silence, you decided enough was enough. And on that same evening, you called your old roommate to let her know you were staying over.

"I didn't mean it like that, Y/N-chan. I was under a lot of pressure before," he said, drawing you away from your thoughts. "I was under a lot of pressure. You knew a lot was riding on winning the championships."

As he looked at your blank expression, he huffed and pouted. "I know, I know… I could've chased after you - and believe me, I wanted to, but… uh..," he trailed off.

"But I wasn't your priority," you deadpanned.

"To be honest, I thought you'd come back the next day, and when you didn't…"

"You got angry and thought you shouldn't come after me?"

"No… more like I thought you'd come back the day after or the day after that, and before I realized it, so much time has passed and it was too late to chase after you…"

"So you decided not to?" You watched as he nodded silently, admitting defeat, and you sighed. If this were someone else, you would easily doubt what he said was true, but this guy wouldn't lie to you if his life depended on it. The tightness you had felt in your chest started to ease up, and rolled your eyes and clicked your tongue. "That's so like you, Bokuto-san."

"And there's no one else but you for me, Y/N-chan," he replied, holding you steady in his arms. "So, what do you say, do you think you can give me another shot at this?"

"At what exactly?"

"At this," he gestured to the both of you. "At us. Please? I'll be a better boyfriend. I'll attend all the parties you want to go to, or I'll listen to whatever you want to say to me - even when you repeat it several times, I'll do whatever you want, Y/N-chan, so please…"

You could feel your heart melt as he pleaded with you, and you silently scolded yourself at having your resolve crushed so easily. You knew your friends were probably not going to be happy, but you also knew no one else would do for you.

"Y/N-chan?"

You sighed and turned your attention back to him. "I suppose you are cuter than the Nendoroid," you said haughtily.

"So, will you date me again?"

"As long as you promise I'm your priority from now on."

He squeezed you to his chest and squealed. "You don't need to worry because you're the only one that matters," he said before his lips met yours to seal the deal.

The end.

#haikyuu #haikyū!!#haikyuu fanfiction #haikyuu fanfic #hq fanfic #bokuto x reader #bokuto kotarou #iris writes #my first fic in months #i'm sure this sucks #please be kind

43 notes · View notes

cutegirlmayra · 4 years

Note

You know something occurred to me. I think in the Sonic game canon Sonic is nicer and more open to Amy post Lost World (not saying he was mean to her before or anything but he did push her away a lot when he probably didn't have to). This is probably because that was the first real instance in which he wasn't in time to save her. Amy died. Temporarily but she died and even did the "last words confessing my love." He definitely seems more comfortable with her and maybe near death calmed Amy down

Prompt:

They smiled at one another. It was a little weird.

As they both looked away, ducking their heads down slightly, they knew why they were personally acting this way... but it was a complete mystery why the other was doing the same.

Sonic took the initiative to change the subject, jumping down from the low-riding branch and walking over towards the open field while scratching his nose in the awkwardness.

“Fine day for a run, huh?” he was horrible at small-talk, and this effort just made Amy smile even more, but hid it with her gloved hand.

“It is a nice view.” she stared in a sweet wonder at him, and as though sensing her true meaning, he turned around to look back at her as well.

Again, the strange staring...

He kicked the ground a second, as though letting out some nerves as he scanned the ground again, opening his mouth as though to change the subject yet again, but squinted his eyes shut and fully faced away from her. He folded his arms, seeming to just look at the scenery and not comment back.

“You don’t have to do that, you know...” Amy placed her hands together, then dangled her feet from the branch, feeling her spines prickle a bit at the cold weather.

Her back was fully exposed, and so she hopped down, hoping to stand in the descending sunlight with Sonic.

She was still bubbly, but she also felt a bit like her giddiness had been restrained. She had a long... long day.

But it was exciting!... in all the wrong ways.

When Sonic only looked down, she noticed the small fall of his shoulders as well, and immediately wanted to lighten the mood.

If changing the subject helped him, she tried to look around for one. She reached out to him, but pulled back and put her arms behind her back, growing restless again, “Ohh! Look at all the butterflies!” she pointed to maybe two that were below them a ways, “Do you see them? Over here, over here!” she wiggled her arm towards them and then dashed back to grab Sonic’s arm. “I said..!” she started dragging him over, as he lost balance of himself and was forced to let her take him along.

“W-wah, Amy!”

“Here!” she pointed once again as enthusiastically as she had before.

The butterflies had left by then...

“Ohh...” Her face held her disappointment, but she quickly made sure her smile never shifted too much, “Let’s try and find them! With your speed, I’m sure we can find them again!” She held her fist up, encouragingly.

He smiled gently, nodding to her. “A butterfly chase it is then.”

She wasn’t expecting that.

Her eyes blinked a moment in amazement... “You... You’re eyes...” she stepped back a moment, as he looked her over in curiosity, wondering if he did something off or wrong.

She let his arm go, “They’re so caring... so sincere.” her eyebrows arched in worry, “I’m not used to you being so... Ah! Nevermind, nevermind! It’s probably just me! Don’t sweat it!” she shook her hands out, not wanting to make the situation worse.

Or at least... more awkward.

“Right! With the Blue Blur by my side, we’ll find those flowers in no time!” she struck a pose, as Sonic shook his head and silently chuckled to himself, swaying his body in a relaxing way up next to her.

He put his hands to his hips and tilted his head charmingly towards her, “I thought we were looking for butterflies?” he gave her an irresistible grin.

She blushed in her embarrassment, tapping her head lightly and losing her peppy pose. “R-right... guess I’m just feeling a bit ditzy today.”

“It’s not a bad thing.” Sonic walked on down the hill, “I wouldn’t mind a run after that nap.” He stretched a little bit more. “But while Tails and Knuckles took off a while ago, you stuck around... I can’t say I blame ya.” He first worked on his arms, then his legs, before bending all the way to touch his toes.

“Whoo!” he sprang up and spread his legs fully out, showing some flexibility in the air before running in spot on the ground. “Ready?” he looked jazzed, which calmed Amy’s fears down a bit.

Maybe they both had nerves... and maybe they were fighting things left unsaid...

She placed her hand warmly to her heart, feeling it race as fast as his feet.

“Sonic... I’d love to.”

Those words slowed Sonic’s fast, in-spot running and he looked down at the ground again, before slowly turning to look back at her, weakly showing a vulnerability she had only dreamed of seeing before.

“Sonic?” her body pushed her towards him, a few steps at a time, as though instinctual wanting to comfort him but not knowing why he had suddenly shifted to that low point again.

“...I would, too.” he finally stated, and smiled up at her again. “I’d like that very much.”

A flash of light burst from Amy’s heart at such a sweet response. It was full of endearment and honesty... there was not a trace of deception or of the typical boy ‘not revealing his feelings’ go-around.

It was straight and to the point.

His heart was talking, and Amy didn’t want it to shut up.

In a trance almost, she came back to reality and looked off of his face to see he had extended his hand to her.

“Shall we?” he tilted his head, invitingly.

Her mouth moved as if to speak, but only air escaped at a soft push... She took his hand, not sure what new emotions were coming over her.

But they were wonderful.

They felt amazing to experience as she took his hand and felt him pull her closer, hold her a split-second longer than he had ever before.

It wasn’t like he hadn’t held her before, but as his arm wrapped around her waist... she felt it.

That extra second of a tug, a small force.

Usually, he would just scoop her up and be off, but he was tenderly being cautious of each move... and her heart sang in it, but she tried to not spook him with it.

When she felt weightless, she honestly thought it was from the fluttering feelings, not from him caressing her up into his arms as though a princess he was attempting to comfort.

She hadn’t felt that presence from him in so long, mostly because they had known each other for years now... He didn’t seem to feel the need to keep up appearances so much, but he always did anyway for her.

A hero... was so much more than the mask he wore.

She could feel him swallow, and looked up from being awestruck at the way he was handling her and looked to see his eyes were on his hands, figuring out the best way to portion her in his arms as though wanting the trip to be just as light as she felt so now.

“...I really like this.” Amy turned worried, a sudden panic as she took his face in her hands, making sure he was looking at her now.

“H-huh?” He seemed pulled out of whatever anxious thoughts he must have been experiencing.

“It’s amazing, Sonic.” She giggled, cutely nodding her head and closing her eyes with the action. “I really, really appreciate this. It’s lovely.”

“...All I did was pick you up-” he paused in his delivery and then lowered his eyes at the trick he thought she was obviously making. He shook his head with a sigh and was about to race on.

“N-no! I mean it! Honest!” she realized he had mistaken her and let her hand drift away from his face.

His eyes met with hers again and she looked away, “I... I don’t know why you’re doing this... this way... but I don’t mind it. Not one bit.” she looked back and hoped he saw the truth in her words.

His expression turned gentle again, and he pulled up from being about ready to race off. “Amy... I got your message.” he finally stated.

Amy’s heart sank beneath a shallow puddle. Burning hot with the flashes of her death... that heated sensation of power draining from her very core... and the puddle not soothing her despair one bit.

She didn’t know where to look now, but couldn’t—no... wouldn’t see his eyes again.

“O-oh..? That silly thing? D-Don’t worry about it. It was wrong of me to leave that. I should have trusted you more, b-be-believed everything would be alright in the end. Crazy to think so much happened in such a small time frame, huh? H-he-hey! Those are the butterflies I saw!” as though fate would have it, the butterflies did return to the valley, but by this time, Sonic was already fixated on her... watching her try desperately to remain cheery and optimistic, trying to look passed the fact that she had sent, what appeared to be, her last words to him through that video message.

Her breath flinched in her throat, and in her anxiety, she continued to point at the butterflies, but forcing her words out only made her nerves more obvious. “D-... Do you see them now?” it was shaky, and her eyes were beginning to fill with water, but she refused to cry in front of Sonic.

He hated crying...

“Amy...” his voice would have undone her efforts if she didn’t shake her head and smile boldly to him.

“Em-mm, I’m fine! See! Full of life and vigor!” she swung her arms, but her voice hesitated on the one word she didn’t want to reflect on.

“...It’s in the past.” She quickly tried to cover up her blunder. “And like you say...” she gripped her dress, looking down and away from his empathetic eyes...

“Don’t worry so much about what happened... just keep moving forward... right?”

He didn’t speak for a long while... and the butterflies flew and danced by the two as though they weren’t even there...

“Right.” he finally said, looking off of her as she dared to finally look up at him, her eyes pleading for him to be alright.

“Like a bad dream...” he looked up into the sky.

She waited a moment, wondering if the Sonic she knew would return to her...

He finally did, looking back at her with a typical smile of peace. “Well, since we found those butterflies, why not look for those flowers of yours too, while were at it?” he gave her a joking smirk and she batted his face away, not able to resist smiling too.

They took off as the butterflies tried to flap against the whiplash from the wind, and Amy held on tightly... glad that at the end of it all...

Sonic and her knew... that these moments were precious, and shouldn’t be so few in number.

#sonamy #sonamy prompt #sonicxamy #cutegirlmayra #sonic prompt #sonic ficlet #sonic lost world prompt #sonic lost world

69 notes · View notes

silverinia · 4 years

Text

I came for Baranski, I stayed for Baranski - a quick Christmas On The Square review someone* actually asked for

(* thank you, anon)

Disclaimer: I am in no way a professional of any sorts when it comes to film and I'm not a journalist either. The last movie review I've written was probably for a school assignment in eighth grade. I didn't do research for this and I've watched the movie exactly one time, so this is just for fun.

It was a Sunday, Sunday the 22nd of November, nearing the end of the train wreck of a year that is 2020. I woke up on an air mattress around seven am, my head aching, my throat itching with pyrosis and light nausea, it was still dark outside behind the closed blinds in front of the windows, when I slowly realised where I was, one of my best girlfriends sleeping next to me in her bed. I had crashed at her place after a warm, fuzzy evening of mulled wine, tacky Christmas movies I would never watch alone (Christmas Chronicles and Holiday Calendar, which I quite honestly didn't enjoy at all, but the company made it fun anyway), doing our nails, wearing the fun kind of face masks for a change and smoking too many cigarettes, as the soft pain in my head informed me right now. She woke up an hour later and the morning went by with coffee and reheated pizza for breakfast, when we decided to watch another movie and I realised that it was THE Sunday I'd been waiting for through Zoom interviews and Dolly Parton twitter memes and the infamous wig gate that will be briefly discussed in the following, and so we clicked on the small icon in the Netflix menu that said "Christmas On The Square".

And oh boy, was it a ride.

To start off, I should mention that I have a hard time watching most modern day American Christmas movies, as I noticed quite vividly again when I watched the two aforementioned Netflix productions last night. The character development is always foreseeable to say the least, the plot lines are plain clichés hunting each other like they're the kids in The Hunger Games, and the writing is generally so bad that you can join the actors in reciting the entire scripts on your first watch. I watch How the Grinch Stole Christmas once a year while I'm gift wrapping and pause every fifteen minutes to shamelessly stare at forties Christine Baranski (I think we should all turn away from the birth of Jesus and instead count our years based on Christine Baranski's date of birth) in flamboyant nightgowns and short Christmas themed dresses, looking so fabulous that every interpreter of Santa Baby ever could only dream of it, I watch Love Actually at least five times a year to lust over Hugh Grant, cry with Emma Thompson and miss Alan Rickman, I enjoy Bridget Jones, which I would definitely consider a Christmas movie, and that's it. That's my yearly Christmas time entertainment routine and I can barely tolerate anything beyond, because I'm still traumatised from the time when I was around five years old and on a holiday family visit where had to sit through National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, the dumbest movie I have ever seen (my apologies if you like it but also, who hurt you?), with my cousins. I hated it. I hated every minute of it. And it scarred me for life.

But this was a Christine Baranski movie, I knew she was going to play the lead and so I was pretty much as excited about this as I could. And the fact that Dolly Parton wrote the whole thing didn't hurt either. As I said earlier to my friend I was watching it with, I have the pop cultural taste of a fifty year old gay man, a quality I am most proud of, and this simply ticked off all my boxes.

I expected something similar to a Mamma Mia experience that wouldn't cause me to crave packing my bags, give Covid the finger and run off to Greece. Light-hearted entertainment, easy to stomach, uplifting music and so little plot that the simplicity feels like a creative choice. That's what my pained, hungover brain knew it could cope with and that's not what I got.

The movie started and I was immediately in the zone. I saw Christine Baranski's name in the front credits (an experience that never fails to make me scream "Yass Queen" at the screen, regardless of where I am and who I'm with, as if I'm the sobering result that pops out of the package when you order Jonathan Van Ness on Wish), the setting was wonderfully corny (I grew up watching Gilmore Girls once a week, so give me warm fairy lights and a gazebo and I'm perfectly happy) and as my friend wondered whether Dolly Parton, in her exaggerated homeless attire that didn't make her look shabby at all, was green-screened into the setting because she stood out so much (which she was because the background dancers were dancing in slow motion, but to be fair, we were probably still a little too drunk to notice that from the start) and I told her I thought that it was just the natural glow someone who's Dolly Parton simply carries with them everywhere they go, I was happy. This was the movie I was prepared for. A movie in which the most problematic thing would be stereotypical characters and the wig they hid Christine's real, flawlessly handmade by God herself hair under.

And then, around five minutes in, Christine Baranski's childhood love interest was revealed as she pressed her perfect pointy nose against the window of his shop and sang about her unrequited love.

And suddenly, things started taking turns at a pace I was still way too sleep-deprived for.

Suddenly, in the middle of my general amazement at seeing Christine Baranski do literally anything and laughing loud at her impeccable comedic delivery, there were unresolved daddy issues, hanging prominently at the wall in her marvellously designed house (she literally says "Daddy" at one point and I couldn't help but think that only someone with her vocal skills could keep from making it sound cringe-worthily kinky). One moment, I was clutching my chest above my heart while she was bonding with little bartender Violet and munching on pretzels while downing some whiskey in that elegant way only Christine Baranski can bond with ten year olds who had it rough, eat pretzels and down whiskey, and the next she felt responsible for said girl's mother's death (which she kinda was too, but I'm not the boss of her). I was still busy making fun of how the very annoyingly, but when you're snacking on pizza with extra cheese at nine in the morning also highly funny, slow talking pastor's name was Christian, and suddenly there was a cancer scare.

It was a lot, a hasty sprint from major issue to major issue with a hint of comedic relief every now and then, and it didn't get any less until the very, rather poorly resolved, end.

The entire, constant up and down was followed by the movie's peak of suspense, the near death of precious Violet, something I couldn't even get too invested in because I was still so busy worrying about Christine's MRT results (I was truly fucking worried), not to mention that I hadn't even started to really process the sudden revelation of the love child and how it had affected her character's actions until this point. Was her constant tendency of pushing people away, as we've seen most clearly with her angel in training assistant who's name I cannot recall right now, the result of her broken trust in her father who practically ripped her son away from her after she had just given birth to him? Was it a result of her never getting the closure she needed with plaid flannel wearing Carl she was clearly still in love with? Maybe both? And what of the many issues was it that made her so incredibly shaken up when Violet blamed herself for her mother's death? Was it 'just' due to the fact that the closed pharmacy was on her, or was there more to it? Was it because she had grown up without a mother herself? Or did I miss a major piece of information because I was momentarily distracted, dumbfoundedly staring at Christine's very blue eyes? No time to ponder on that, little Silverinia, because here comes unconscious Violet in an ambulance, WEE WOO WEE WOO WEE WOO!

I'm not going to go in depth about what plot lines I thought were especially carelessly handled and why, real standouts were the sudden forgiveness towards her father who had still acted like a shitty asshole even though he might have had his reasons, because giving the baby up for adoption just wasn't his choice to make, and the fact that I kind of didn't buy how quickly Regina managed to forgive herself, especially for Violet's mother's passing, considering how deeply her tall, slim, dare I say angelic and entrancing figure was buried beneath the weight of all her issues. It felt rushed and incomplete, but that's as detailed as it gets because my major point is something else.

I think this movie made the great mistake of trying to be more than your average, flat, happy ending Christmas movie. I think no one involved thought it was possible to make it a big hit if the only real plot would've been great Dolly Parton music, fun ensemble dance choreographies, Christine Baranski's outstanding acting skills, fun settings and costumes and a redemption arch with as little plot as it could possibly take to make Christine likable to those who aren't already lost forever in the rabbit hole of being obsessed with her (poor fuckers, can't relate). They didn't notice that with the legends that were involved, they could've easily gone the Mamma Mia way. And I think that's why they tried to include heavier plot lines than most creators would've chosen, experiencing loss at an early age, struggling to find closure, dealing with sickness, teenage pregnancy, parents forcing their choices on their children when they affect their childrens' lives first, adoption, and the fear of losing your kid.

It was a lot and I don't want to say that it didn't work because my friend was crying, like, pretty hard and I questioned my entire existence all through the movie in not the worst way, and I did enjoy it a lot while watching. The "grief is love with nowhere to go" line was a real standout, for example, where the attempt of complexity DID work. It positively gave me fleabag season two, "I don't know what to do with it now, with all the love I have for her." - "I'll take it. It sounds lovely. You have to give it to me." feels, and that's about the biggest praise I can come up with. BUT (and this is written in capital letters because it's the big but) I'm also totally convinced that I wouldn't have enjoyed it if they hadn't cast Christine Baranski for the lead role. In my humble opinion, the hasty, not really at all resolved plot of this movie only worked because Christine Baranski is just a fantastic actress. She quirks a mocking eyebrow and you laugh. She parts her perfectly painted red lips and you immediately hang on them because you don't want to miss a single breath she, a literal goddess, graces us mere peasants of people with. She smiles and you're happy. She laughs and even while she's still laughing, you can't wait to hear her do it again. Her eyes fill with tears and you feel goosebumps on your arms, her voice slightly trembles, a breath hitches in her throat and you feel your heart shattering to pieces. As Chuck Lorre once said, this woman could read you the phone book and you would end up laughing tears because she just gets the job done. She knows what she's doing, she's an absolute pro in her game, and it doesn't matter, not even a little bit, what she's working with, because the work she eventually delivers with it is always at a minimum of 200%. I forced my friend to watch this movie with me because I adore this woman, and I felt for this movie because I felt for her. It wasn't the plot that sadly brutally overestimated itself, it wasn't the songs that I obviously enjoyed, nor the comedic elements that truly made me laugh a lot, it was all her. I came for Baranski, and I stayed for Baranski. This woman can do anything. She can even look graceful in a terrible wig job.

(side note / unpopular opinion: I actually didn't think the wig was all too bad. It wasn't good, actually far from good, but for me, nothing can match the awful wig game of Mamma Mia 2. I loathed that wig, I absolutely cannot stand it. So this didn't feel all that terrible. It definitely wasn't the most problematic part about the movie.)

I enjoyed watching this. It was a nice distraction from all the bullshit in the world. Watching it today was the first thing this year that actually brought me something close to excitement about the holiday season, even though everything will be very different and probably not quite as jolly this year. But it just gave me good vibes and as someone who did not watch this as a film reviewer, that's the biggest part of what leads me to enjoy a movie.

Will I watch this again? For sure. Will I enjoy it when I'm not hungover, having freshly done nails and munching delicious pizza for breakfast? Probably not as much, but it'll still have Christine Baranski in it. Would I recommend watching this? If you share my obsession with Queen B, one hundo. If you don't, probably not.

#Christine Baranski #Christmas On The Square #dolly parton #shitty movie reviews by yours truly

12 notes · View notes