#why my dad?

[valtsv]

stuck between "psychological horror statement" and "objectively the funniest thing you could say to your real flesh and blood dad" in the father's day card aisle

[mo-mode]

AU where Mr. D claiming to be Percy’s dad accidentally counts as Claiming according to Greek god law or whatever and now all the other gods legitimacy believe Percy is his son, but if Mr. D corrects it, he has to explain to Zeus why he pretended he was Percy’s dad so now he’s like “YEP ol’ Perry Johansson is MY child wowie just look at the little fry, you have your mother’s eyes. Please stop standing next to water or you will blow my cover”

Meanwhile Poseidon is just standing off to the side like “how on earth did I dodge THAT bullet”

[chiptrillino-art]

(ID in ALT Text) Happy very, very late Mother's Day!

I am not saying that zuko is sokkas substitute for kya. or they look in any way similar! The whole concept here is that something was happening at the moment, be it how they were laying in bed, how the hair pooled over the pillow, or how sokka was able to hold onto it. It just brought sokka back. It triggered a memory, and suddenly he relived a brief memory. Making him suddenly miss his mother again. hope you enjoy!

[everwalldigan]

Bruce being a toxic boy mom when it comes to nightwing will never not be funny as fuck he is literally the biggest nightwing defender one bad word against him and the next day he’ll show up at ur house

Bonus:

[2myaku]

saw this and went Yeah. batman and robin

[egophiliac]

queen of diamonds, upright + reversed 💎

I've redone this like eighty times, I have to just be done with it now and stop staring at all my mistakes oh no 🫠

[nyaslashthreat]

shout out to when i told my dad about goncharov and he figured out it was fake because i told him "1973 martin scorsese film with robert de niro" and he said that wasn't possible because the godfather came out in 1972 and the godfather part II came out in 1974 and they wouldn't have had time to make a movie in between. a perfectly good jest, foiled by this man's weird and vast knowledge set

[elucubrare]

when i have to do the captchas that ask you to pick all squares that have, say, a bus in them, but the bus is broken up over different squares, my brain goes through a horrible detour of a mix between Wittgenstein's duckrabbit and Quine's gavagai: is a square that has the edge of a bus's mirror "a square with a bus"? surely it's a) a question of interpretation as to when a piece of a bus becomes enough of a bus to call it a bus and b) a question of idiolect, mediated through common usage, as to whether that detached bus part is a bus. this all takes about half a second. then i fuck up the captcha for unrelated reasons.

[spencerstargirl]

Just Spencer Reid spinning in his chair roughly 11 years apart

01x01

12x04

Bonus: Gideon looking dead inside while Spencer keeps spinning in the background

[badolmen]

They don’t even attempt to assassinate US politicians anymore. You notice that? Not since the anthrax scare back for… who was it, Barack? And even that… pathetic. This new generation has no respect for an honest hitman. I’m not sure this new generation has any honest hitman - you see that shit with Boeing? Sloppy, fucking disgraceful - you kill the whistleblowers before they get halfway to a lawsuit. What kind of fucking amateur is doing faked suicides the night before testimony? Goddamn greenhorns. Back in my day someone tried to shoot Ronald Reagan in broad daylight. There used to be bomb threats to Congress. I took out a few union leaders in the utilities sector myself. Today’s generation? Won’t even threaten to throw a punch - not even over on that - what’s it now, ‘X’? They got no guts. None! And they don’t even have poor impulse control to boot! Too much of that - that panopticon anxiety bullshit. “Oh what if I get a called out post???” People used to send the president letters full of bioweapons. In the mail! Today’s generation? Not a chance. All because of woke.

[amnestyliketaz]

in honor of the nimona movie (it’s so good i’m gonna scream and cry for the next million years) i must share my favorite nimona art ever

drawn by ND stevenson ofc and posted on twitter a few years ago i believe

do i even have to SAY anything? the shark, it’s not rocket surgery, baby nimona, the DOMESTICITY of it all im gonna explode

UPDATE!!!! GAY DADS AU THREAD https://twitter.com/gingerhazing/status/1676058949504892928?s=46

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

going through my old journals as part of therapy homework and i'm reading a section written in the emotional wreckage of a full-on breakdown when i get hit with this line:

There is never a satisfying answer to ‘Why didn’t they love me?’

like wow babe. good fucking point

[starguardianniom]

I need to get this off my chest. Here goes: my dad told me yesterday that he apparently paid a prostitute to have sex with him a few years back, currently he's still seeing her today. Thing is, now he's 64, he has been living with my step mom for 20 years, they have no sex life, but my dad still has his sex drive up the walls, and paid someone because he was going crazy during the pandemic. Said prostitute is 51 years old. Apparently one of her "friends" threw away all her legal stuff, like official papers and birth certificate and all that, so she has no papers to say that she officially exist. Thing is, she came to Canada from Germany when she was a kid. So you could say now that she's kind of an illegal immigrant since she has no papers, despite the fact that she's been living for decades in Canada. And she still hasn't sorted this situation out, apparently she's the type of person who is very generous and loves helping others, but is very hard on herself and doesn't like getting help from other people. My dad tries to help her by telling her she needs to tell her history and send it to the officials so she could maybe get some official papers back, as since she currently has no way to identify herself, she has to pay everything in cash. Her parents are still alive and living in Canada, she also has a brother here too, and a sister in the states. Not gonna lie, I feel that woman is a bit of an idiot for walking around so long without papers and not asking anyone for help about it, apparently some of her friends tried to testify for her that she's been around for years, but still it's not enough, guess she needs her family too, which for some reasons she doesn't dare mention to them her problem. My dad is really head over heels for her, except, well, he's with my step-mom. If she finds out, he's gonna be out of the house, as she's been living in the house years before he got there so it's legally under her name and not his. He stills loves my step mom too though. So far I'm the fourth person he's told, apart from his 3 best friends, so I'm the first in the family to know about it. Somehow I feel like this is the plot of some romantic drama comedy movie or something. I'm seeing him being an idiot in love, and told him repeatedly to his face how stupid he was acting and how fucking lucky he still hasn't been found out yet, and he knows how thin is the line he's walking on, somehow can't pull out, the more he learned about the other woman the more he wants to help her. However, if they're discovered, she'll be fine, he won't be. They both know it, and she's smart enough to not walk with him in public, if they do, she's usually 5 feet in front of him, never holding hands or side by side. As his only daughter and child, I'm watching my old dad making a fool of himself in love, and if it falls to pieces, I'm not gonna be able to help him, as I don't live in the same province as him. In the end I told him to just tell me when she'll dump him, cause I doubt he'll be strong enough to break things first. But right now I get to see live how real the saying "Love makes you dumb" really is. Let me tell you how much I'm screaming and facepalming to hell and back inside. I almost feel like seeing a reboot of the movie Pretty Woman, with some more drama. It's gonna affect him more than me though. He's the one who has the most to lose between the 2 of them. The day I'll hear the end about it I'll tell you how it ended.

[bigfatbreak]

dad villain au: did emilie just. not consider at all that adrien was literally dying at the time. wow

she's in the habit of deciding when Adrien's suffering is acceptable, and if it is, she'll just fix it later.

[valentimmy]

💀

[zivazivc]

first night alone