#writing dialoge is so fun why do i not do it more often??

[sommerregenjuniluft]

@jegulus-microfic august 28 - injury - 1.6k words - cw: gun violence, blood, shot wound aka hitmen AU aka homoromantic wound caring <3

Regulus throws them behind the battered outside of the building with a shout, presses James against the wall with his body weight while he leans back around the edge to fire off two more precise shots hitting their opponents right in the chest both times. They go down immediately. 

See, Regulus is no amature.

As opposed to James who’d barged right into the middle of his mission without having any business in it apart from the fact that he’s clearly jealous and not handling the fact well that Regulus is leading their kill score. 

He’d jumped in from the roof uninvited, fallen to the ground controlled looking like a fucking death angel in his skin tight hitmen get-up and started taking out people left and right while Regulus had had everything under control and then proceeded to get himself shot. Serves him fucking right honestly. Regulus should have left him there to bleed out slowly and painfully.

He should have.

He didn’t.

Instead Regulus had cursed as he’d seen James stumble and clutch his side, manic grin and hubris blown right out of him. Stupid fucking idiot.

It was easy enough taking out the rest of the lot, not so when James had started looking so distractingly ashy in the face, like he was about to fall over and not get back up again.

Right now Regulus twists back to James’ heavy body and maneuvers him to sit on the dirty ground, taking in the shallow breathing and twist of his annoyingly gorgeous face.

James winces, eyes squeezing together as Regulus goes to straddle his lap and pull up his shirt. 

The injury looks bad. Blood trickling out around the reddened shot wound. Fuck, the bullet’s still in.

James keens when Regulus manhandles both of James’ hands over it with one of Regulus’ to put pressure on it. He sounds pitiful and Regulus nearly feels bad for him so bites out a, “Fuck you.”

That makes him feel marginally better and also James wheeze out a breath that could have been a chuckle under more optimal circumstances so Regulus takes his win as he rumages for his cell in his pocket. Dials Sirius’ number and is met with screaming and sirens in the background that mirror the ones he hears from father away from his current position as soon as his brother picks up.

“The fuck were you thinking?”

Regulus jaw drops a bit at the audacity, “Me? Fuck you, I should let James bleed out on the spot for that sentence alon—”

“James? Regulus, what’s going on?”

“He’s gone and crashed the fucking mission, is what’s going on! Fucking show-off—” he enunciates by pressing harder into James’ stomach, making his stupid brown baby cow eyes bulge behind his glasses, “—always gotta be the center of fucking attention.”

“Regulus—”

“What, haven’t already gotten enough from all of your beloved, loyal friends? From my brother? From the never-ending string of pathetic whores panting after y—”

“Regulus,” Sirius growls again through the static of the phone, “Why is James bleeding?”

Regulus sniffs primly as he glares down at James fluttering eyelashes. He feels very warm and sturdy under Regulus’ spread legs, “’cause he’s a sad excuse of a hitman. You don’t just wake up one day and decide to become an assassin,” James’ lips twitch into an exhausted grin, “You’re born with that sort of talent, obviously. You can only all too clearly see for yourself what happens,” Regulus shifts and presses down on the shot wound again, watching in satisfaction as James tips his head back with a groan, “—when you try to play in the big league when you’re nothing but a doped up street rat.”

James licks at the sheen of sweat building on his top lip and manages to rasp, “Love it when you talk dirty to me.”

A frustrated groan rips from Regulus’ throat as Sirius’ voice comes through the speaker again, “Reg, why is James bleeding?”

James’ eyes unfocus a bit over Regulus’ shoulder and he feels his stomach do something weirdly unpleasant, “Got himself shot trying to play hero. Bullet’s still in.”

“Shit, fuck,” Regulus can almost see Sirius run a hand through his hair in distress, “Okay- okay fuck, text me your locations. I’ll send a distraction team and have Marlene and Pete pick you up, as soon as possible.”

“Yeah,” Regulus watches as James’ eyes flutter in exhaustion, “Make it quick.”

He purposefully wiggles in James’ lap to jostle him while he shoots Sirius the text with his location, “C’mon James, no sleeping.”

James grunts dismissively, head lolling weakly against the filthy brick, hair an awful mess and Regulus feels him let off the pressure over the injury wound.

“Fuck,” Regulus puts his phone away quickly and threads his fingers into the wild strands at James’ nape and clenches.

“Ngh,” James’ eyes shoot open and he fixes Regulus with a sharp squint. That’s better. “Am I not in enough pain already, Reg?”

Regulus rolls his eyes, ignoring the relief, “Don’t be a baby.”

“‘Don’t be a—’ excuse me, have you ever been shot?”

Well, no, but, “That’s completely irrelevant right now.”

“Literally how?”

“Stop coming off topic.”

“You’re the one coming off t—” James tapers off into a groan, cramping into himself in pain. 

Regulus feels his brows knit in worry and he absently scrapes his nails against James’ skull in a soothing motion while he shushes him and curses quietly.

James pants as he squirms uncomfortably in place, then blinks up at Regulus again, “Y’know whenever I’ve thought about you in my lap it was always a more pleasant kind of pain I’ve counted on.”

Regulus rolls his eyes, warmth pooling in his gut. But James is still lucid and talking so Regulus indulges him, “Yeah, what kind instead?”

James hums tiredly, “Well, for one I get weirdly turned on whenever you’re playing with those little daggers of yours.”

The corner of Regulus’ mouth drags up. He nods encouragingly.

James swallows with visible difficulty, voice strained when he goes on, “There was that one time we had a rope seminar.”

Regulus remembers that James had knocked over his open water bottle when Regulus had been timed on preparing a friction hitch knot. He’d thought him the biggest fool on the planet. Not that this has changed much over the months.

“You’re always so mean,” James’ eyes glaze over, smiling to himself, “You don’t even need a weapon, your words cut deep enough on their own mos’times…”

His eyeslids sink shut again as his mouth falls pliant and his hold over the injury slackens. Not good.

“Come on, James, you love talking about yourself, go on,” Regulus licks his lips nervously, keeping the pressure over their hands.

James sighs, “’m tired, Reg.”

Regulus tries yanking at his roots again but James won’t do anything but make little pained noises, body untensing under Regulus.

“Fuck, James,” Regulus taps him against the cheek. Shit, what is he supposed to do?

Shock value, Sirius voice reverberates through his muddled thoughts. Do something they won’t expect, abruptly. Whatever it takes to keep them awake.

Regulus sucks in an unsteady breath and then angles James’ head up and pulls him into a kiss.

He feels the hitch of breath rather than he hears it, sucked in right against the burning skin of his cheek and then James lets out a noise.

Breathes in the air coming out of Regulus’ mouth and tips his chin back into the kiss with renewed vigor. They gasp into each others’ mouths as they continue the press of wet lips and weak nudges of tongue while Regulus tries to stay at least half-focused on holding the pressure over the bullet hole in James’ abdomen. 

He’s a fucking assassin for god’s sake and this might be the most insane thing he’s ever done.

Regulus’ whole body goes stock still, James’ breath ragged on his face, when suddenly a familiar, teasing voice comes from behind, shit-eating grin evident in her voice, “Well, that I’ve certainly never seen in a first aid handbook.”

“Yeah, y’know what Marls,” Peter snickers childishly, “Seems like Regulus got it from here, James looks pretty vitalized to me again.”

“Mmh,” James nudges his nose against Regulus’ as he slurs, “All the medicine I need right here.”

Regulus levels him with a flat stare, “Blood loss has made you delirious.”

They get James up and onto the cot in the back of the van where Peter has already set up his medical tools.

Before Regulus has the chance to step out James makes an unhappy noise that has him turning back, “Ride back to the cove with me?”

“Not a fucking chance, Potter,” Regulus hops out of the vehicle and turns with his hand on the back door, “My bike’s still on the other end of the street, I wouldn’t leave her if Sirius’ life was on the line.”

Peter snorts as he readies the antiseptic and James honest to god pouts. Regulus can see the blood slick injury gaping from where he’s standing. Ridiculous man.

“I’ll see you in the medical wing,” Regulus replies for whatever reason and before the lighting up of James’ eyes can do anything pathetic as elicit warm shudders along Regulus’ spine he slams the door shut and pivots on the spot to head for his bike.

Regulus dutifully visits James in his hospital bed that evening.

They both get whacked over the head when Peter has to redo James’ stitches not five hours later.

[gingiekittycat]

I miss the narrator

This may be an unpopular opinion, but I miss the narrator from Good Omens season 1.

I will admit, when I first watched the show it threw me a bit. Sure, the narrator's jokes were funny, but I thought that as a story-telling device it was distracting. There was just so much of it all the time, and it often felt out of place. And when I went to look up reviews online, it seemed a lot of people agreed: if there ever was a season 2, the narrator had to go.

But THEN.

THEN.

Then I read the book.

And I realized: the narrator is the footnotes. It's the little jokes in between the plot. In descriptions, in metaphors, in transitions. The narrator is what makes the magic of the novel.

The narrator is the authors.

More specifically, the narrator is Terry.

Terry's influence on the novel, on the story; Terry's influence in the way he and Neil wrote the book. Neil has said before somewhere (I will find the source eventually and add it) that he was writing in Terry's style when he co-wrote the novel. And it shows; to me, when I read Good Omens, I was reading a Terry Pratchett novel. At the time, I had no previous experience with reading Terry's work, and the only novel I'd read of Neil's was American Gods. And in my opinion, Good Omens reads nothing like American Gods.

In subsequently reading more of Terry's work, it became even clearer to me that the narrator in the show was Neil's way of keeping Terry in the story. And maybe it WAS clunky in a visual medium, maybe it WAS distracting, jarring. But it was also hilarious, and whimsical, and playful, and fun. And I don't see how Neil could have done without it and still stayed so true to the novel. The jokes, the metaphors, the descriptions, the footnotes; this is what makes Good Omens what it is.

There was no narrator in season 2.

I will say up front that, overall, I enjoyed season 2. It had so many funny moments, and so many thought-provoking, poignant moments too. It used some dialog from the first book (looking at you Resurrectionists minisode) to remind us why Good Omens is not just a romp between an angel and demon, but also a philosophical, thought-provoking piece of media. It had a lot of Pratchett-esque moments; the Job minisode stood out to me here. The end was, of course, emotional and gutting, but I like emotional and gutting (anyone who has read my fics knows this). But... I found myself missing the narrator. 

I missed Terry.

And maybe that was a good thing. Maybe it was even on purpose. Maybe the lack of narrator really is illustrating the fact that, when Terry died, he left a hole in the world that can never be filled. You can't make the same show you would have made had Terry been alive. You can't even try. You can make your own thing, you can make it amazing in its own right, but you can't make it the same. And, all said and done, I think that's a very important commentary on grief. When you lose something, or someone, you're not the same as you were before; and it hurts, but you change, you adapt, you grow. Eventually, you make something new.

So... do I want there to be a narrator in season 3?

That's a good question. I think I would accept both outcomes. However, knowing that season 3 is supposed to be the sequel Neil and Terry plotted, I think it would be appropriate to have a narrator this time around. True, we have no novel to base it off of; we don't have any of Terry's footnotes, his metaphors, his jokes. But we have Neil, whom Terry influenced while writing the original novel; we have Neil writing in Terry's style, putting himself in Terry's shoes for a moment (his hat, his scarf). We have Neil, who loved Terry, who has in part made this show as a labor of love, because he promised Terry he would, and he's going to keep that promise. We have Neil to remind us why we love Good Omens in the first place.

And I think having a narrator in season 3 would be a wonderful way to illustrate that. 

[skysometric]

my 2nd favorite game that i played in 2023 is...

In Stars and Time

i'm not much one for rpgs. i love their deep and complex stories! but i often find when playing them that the fights are either overwhelmingly complex, or too much of a grindy slog. it takes a very special kind of rpg to catch my attention, and In Stars and Time was one of them.

the core concept of the game is that you're stuck in a time loop at the final dungeon of a greater adventure. my first thought was that, surely, having to replay the same few sections of the dungeon, fight the same few enemies, would exacerbate my usual rpg exhaustion. paradoxically, this did not turn out to be the case; the time loop has checkpoints that allow you to rewind further back and then skip forward to where you were, using your number of defeated enemies as a resource. this alone was a godsend and allowed me to skip around as much as i needed to without any of the adventure getting stale.

the rpg system itself is dead simple. there's no mana or MP to keep track of; special attacks simply need to recharge over X amount of turns. the three elements are rock, paper, and scissors – that's not even an allegory, they are literally rock / paper / scissors. each character specializes in using certain types effectively, and if you can use the same type of attack 5 times in a row as a party, it activates a party super that both heals and deals tons of damage. it's an incredibly fun and deep system for how simple it is to keep track of, especially as your party members grow and learn new moves!

all of these smartly designed systems helped to ease my usual rpg hangups and get into the story… and Oh My God. The Story.

i will not spoil a goddamn thing. but i will tell you what i most loved: the characters, and the setting.

once in a while i'll see a writing-advice post going around tumblr that says to think of the little details when you're writing a larger story. what religions does your world have? what other countries are there, and how do they get along? how are the people in your world reacting to the major story beats? how does your main cast get along? how do they get on each others' nerves? what's the cringiest trait each one of them has? do they keep secrets? what are their memories of growing up? it's clear that the author took this direction to heart, creating a rich setting full of life and history!

and this is exactly where the timeloop concept SHINES. each loop you get to try something different, explore other options, to see how your party and the world around you react differently. if you check that bookcase you missed before, it has a whole conversation about life in one of the other countries. if you try the mean dialog option (perish the thought), you learn about a character's trauma in more detail. sometimes even the same actions have something new when you do them a second time… a third time… a fourth time. each loop enriches the characters and their history, deepens their humanity.

and then you begin to wonder. what else are you curious about… and how do you find the answers? how can you help your party members with their problems? what do the people outside of your party think of you? why DOES the main character hate croissants? it's a depth first dive into this wonderful world and its inhabitants; each new thread you dig up is rewarding in its own way.

long story short, i took a risk on this game, and i'm SO happy i did. if you play games for the story, In Stars and Time is your sleeper hit for 2023. jump on this!

[thisonesock]

Drowning in Shadows

Here is the promised One-Shot. I have to mention once again that a certain part of the dialog is not mine, but comes from a game. More on that at the end. Until then, have fun and hunting season is open for grammar or spelling mistakes. (This is the first time I'm writing in English, so show mercy)

Lucifer was miserable, to put it mildly.

He felt like he was in an endless loop, spiraling deeper and deeper into something, that felt like a never-ending void. Like a black, silky goo, that wrapped itself around his mind and soul, if he even had one left. It shifted his sight and the way he saw the world around him. What once was a bright world full of color, life and opportunities was now nothing more than a greyish, cold place, that wasn’t worth getting up for.

Could anyone blame him, that he rather chooses to lock himself away? That he tried to find something, that might light his heart again? Even if its just a spark, it would be more than enough. He knew, he could do it. He just doesn’t know how long he could still hold on to that fleeting thought.

If he wouldn’t have his family… Lucifer doubted, that he would be still here. The urge, to just end all of this sometimes became so strong and irresistible, that he often wonders, how he overcame it. And it wasn’t that he particularly wanted to die. He just wished the pain, the loathing, the fear to end. He wanted to breath. He wanted to live. He didn’t want to fight with the thoughts in his mind. He wanted to see the world, the way he saw it once. He wanted to be full of passion again, full of cheer and jumping into a day, full of energy, like he had done it so often.

Sometimes he can do that. Sometimes its easier to get out of bed. On some days he was able to prep his wife’s cheeks with endless kisses and twirl his little girl in his arms, just listening to her happy laughing. How he adored it, when she smiled, how he loved it, when his wife watched him lovingly…

The more it hurt, that in the last weeks – months – it had become less and less.

Charlie didn’t know it better. She didn’t understand what was wrong with her daddy. That was main reason why he put on a brave face and smiled at her, when he wanted to cry and curse the whole world to hell, before remembering, that he was in that place anyway.

But Lilith. Lilith did know what was wrong with him. And it hurt.

It just fucking hurt to the point, that it became numb and turned to a part of that endless void. He couldn’t even blame his wife. Who wouldn’t be disgusted with the person, that was just a mere shadow of himself? He wasn’t the man, that she fell in love with once. He wasn’t the beautiful angel, that promised to show her all the horizons, that they wanted to explore. Instead, he became a demonic beast, cast away from its home, deep into the darkest pits of the world for something so meager like free will. For the opportunity to show humanity more, than the limits of their view. And he had dragged her with him. Away from the light. Away from the warmth and comfort of Edens lap. Sure, she won’t have to deal with that bastard Adam… but Lucifer doubted that this was the alternative that she had hoped for.

And that she showed him. Less and less became the affection, that she showed him. Less and less became the moments, where they talked and shared time together. If it wouldn’t be for their royal duties, they wouldn’t probably meet at all. The Public hadn’t noticed yet, but how long would that take? Maybe a month? If even?

But the worst part was, that his dear wife took Charlie with her. Lucifer had understood her first explanations, why she held their daughter away from him.

“I don’t want her to see you like this, my love.”, Lilith had whispered. “You understand that right?”

It had hurt. The words, even said gently and full of care, right in his face. But still he just had answered: “Yes. Tell her that I will make her a new special toy, yes? As an apology?”

That apology – much to his dismay – never happened. Not only because he barely saw his child, but also because no matter how hard he tried… nothing seemed perfect enough. He wanted to build Charlie a Music Box in form of a carousel, but it wasn’t good enough.

He wasn’t good enough. And that thought – that fact – breaks him. Because he knew, he can do it. He knew, he was able to. He had done it so many times before, creating the most beautiful dreams out of thin air and know? He could spend as much time as he wanted. He could polish every detail as long as he wanted. It wasn’t enough. Every time the product was nothing but a dull, gray and empty attempt to gain something, that he had lost a long, long time ago.

So, he could do nothing, but sitting miserably in his workshop, starring at the many attempts and the many sketches he had done, just to throw them away in fits of rage and despair. How often had he pulled at his hair, in hope the pain would numb the pain inside him? How often had he thrown the started project into a corner, because a screw wasn’t at the place he wanted, just to pick it up again and feeling sorry, for destroying the progress he had made?

Lucifer didn’t know, how long he sat there, staring at the failed music box, until he heard a sound. A small clicking and the groan of the heavy door opening behind him. He could smell the sweet scent of roses and lavender and could hear her featherlight steps.

“Charlie had asked, why you didn’t say Goodnight to her?” Her calm voice disrupted the thick silence in the room and Lucifer turned around, to meet her cool and distant eyes. Her dark violet dress felt perfect over her curves and for a moment he felt awful for his appearance. His shirt was wrinkled, his hair spread in all directions, and he didn’t even want to know how deep the bags under his eyes were. The angel’s eyes widened in surprise as he glanced on the small clock on his desk. Past 9. Charlie slept for already one hour.

“Shit.”, he mumbled, running his hand through his hair. “Sorry. I didn’t realize how late it is. I guess, I won’t be able to say it now, right?”, he said with an uncomfortable chuckle.

“No, I guess you don’t.”, Lilith said, her eyes watching him carefully. “When exactly do you think to spend time with your child? Or do you plan to stay in here for the rest of eternity?”

“Excuse me?” – “You know what I am talking about.”

Lucifer felt his mouth open and closing, while he blinked in utter surprise. Lilith’s voice had changed quickly from distant cold to held back anger. He wasn’t a fool. He could see that she was pissed at him and for the first time, he was able to feel something, besides the Numbness inside him. He was doing this for Charlie, right? He sat in here, because he wanted to make her the perfect gift.

“I do this for Charlie!”, he argued back, shifting aside to present her the music box, that he builds, but Lilith, much to his dismay, just shook her head. The long blond strains of her hair fell into her face, her arms crossed in front of her.

Still on the other side of the room, it felt like something held them apart. Like an invisible wall, that parted the room and them. Lucifer wondered if Lilith felt the same.

“I’m not talking about this, Lucifer.”, she finally said, her voice thick. “I’m talking about, that Charlie grows up without you. When was the last time, that you came out and talked to her? Played with her? Do you even know what she had learned the past days? Oh, what am I talking about? Months? While you hid away?”

Not willing to see her glaring and yet painfilled eyes, Lucifer turned his back to her, crumbling over his desk, while he stared at the little carousel in front of him. He felt anger, rising in him, but it was nothing compared to the harsh pain, that came with her words. The problem was that Lilith was right. He didn’t know how much Charlie had learned and done the past… time. But wasn’t it Lilith, that had suggested to keep the girl away from his misery to shield her? How could he have known that this void lasted so long?

“Are you going to answer me?”, she pursuit further, causing him to shrug helpless with his shoulders. “What do you want me to do?”

“Getting out!”

He could clearly hear the despair in her voice, yet she didn’t cross the room and he didn’t turn.

“Getting out of this cocoon that you have created around yourself to keep everyone out, Lucifer. Do you know how much it hurts to see you like this? This…”, she failed to find the right words and he could hear her seeking for breath. He could her the thickness in her normally beautiful voice and he only could imagine how far she was from crying. Still, he couldn’t feel anything. He wanted to feel something. Why couldn’t he feel? Why couldn’t he cry? Why couldn’t he tell her, how he felt?

“Like what?”, he asked instead, lacking any emotion.

Lilith was silent for a moment, before he could hear her crossing the room and turning him around on his chair.

“Is this funny to you?” – “Can’t you see me laughing? Hardy har!”

“You are unbelievable. Do you even care about the people around you?”, she snapped back and that, finally, let him feel something. Anger. Pure anger, that had built itself up over the past weeks, no, months.

“I do care about you!”, the angel shouted, jumping up from his chair, to face Lilith. He could feel his horns growing and his tail appearing. “How can you even dare to suggest something else, Lilith?! I love Charlie and you. You know that!”

“Then why don’t you show it? Why wont you talk? Why do you lock yourself away from us? Tell me!”

Lucifer shut his eyes, clawed his palms in his hair, while he crossed the room to get space. He tight feeling around his heart grow smaller and smaller. Like a snake, that dared to choke him, and Lucifer didn’t know, what he could do to stop it. To give himself some sort of Relief instead letting everything out, that he kept hidden for so long. “Because it was your fucking idea!”

“My idea?!”, Lilith gasped in utter shock. “My idea?!”, she echoed him again, before puffing in disbelief. “I have never told you to isolate yourself from everything.”

“You said that it would be better to keep Charlie away.” – “Yes, so she can have a relative normal life, Lucifer!”

“Well, big surprise, she won’t!”, he shouted suddenly, before continuing his raging thoughts. “And you know why? Because she is in fucking hell! I don’t know what makes you think that any of this is good. But let me tell you something, it isn’t! It’s a big pile of shit, a hole full of the waste and garbage of this world. If something of this makes you see anything good in it, please tell me, because I can’t fucking see it.”

“Why are you angry at me now? I did nothing to hurt you.”, she defended. “I was always at your side and supported you. And know, when I come to pry you out of this miserable hole that you have created yourself, you attack my like Im your enemy.” Tears shimmered in her eyes and Lucifer felt a pang in his chest. He didn’t want to make her cry. He didn’t want to do anything. He wanted to lie down and sleep. To never get up again. He wanted to dream again.

“Is it that, what I am to you? Your enemy?”, she now asked choking.

“No. I just…”, he attempted an explanation, but failed. Hopeless he lifted his hands but let them fall to his sides again. “… just what? Lucifer, please tell me. Talk to me! What is wrong?”

“I don’t know…. I just…”, a new wave of anger overcame him and gave his shattering voice more power. “I hate it. All of this! This shithole that you call a home, this whole situation. Just everything.”. Again, he walked past her, slamming his hands down on his desk and digging his claws deep into the wood.

“Good!”, she now said, nearly mockingly. “At least you can still feel something!”

He could feel her eyes in his back.

“Do you know what I feel, Lucifer? I look at you and I feel nothing. Not the man, that I fell in Love with. Not the father of my child.”, she scoffed. “Not even the hateful monster that you pretend to be. You’re just empty. And that scares the hell out of me.”

He could hear her turn, walking away from him and in a last attempt to have the last word and maybe, just maybe, get the answer, that he was sure he had for him, he said: “Didn’t you forget to mention you much you hate me? How you loath me, for dragging you down here?”

He heard Lilith stopping and turning, just for him, to turn to her, his eyes full of pain and despair to get an answer, that he didn’t want to her, but needed to her, just to justify his fears. “Go on! Admit it! You are disgusted with me, aren’t you? The fallen angel? The demonic monster, that has nothing to do with the beautiful being that you met so long ago.”

“Not this again.” Lilith look dry at him, tears running over her pale cheeks. “But if you need to hear it so badly, I will fulfill your wish, my love. I am disgusted with you.”

Lucifer, even though he knew, that the answer would crash him, felt his heart shatter. For a moment he even thought he could cry, but his eyes stayed dry. Something, that just fed his inner void and despair. He let his chin sink to his chest, just listening to his own breathing and his heart beating.

“But it has nothing to do with the way you look or that I am here with you.”, she continued. “I am disgusted with what you have. And I am disgusted with what you let it do to you. How you just let it change you.”

Her words echoed in his mind. He could hear her sniffling while she watched him, maybe hoping for a response. But he just couldn’t. Without another word, Lilith turned and left his workshop, closing the door behind her and leaving him alone. 

The Void grew bigger.

-*-*-*-*-*-*-

I hope you had fun and now to the Inspiration to it. The game, that i mentioned is called Layers of Fear, which is in my opinion a great psychological horror game. The particular dialog is from the DLC Inheritance, so all credits for that go to the Bloober Team, who created the game. The Original Dialog will follow after my little monolouge. I will also crosspublish the Story on Ao3. If you really want the full experience of this story, read it with that song: https://youtu.be/om-keDOy5cU?list=PL4fFy6wYdYt90D7sotlvTvu07-f_aiiMY

-*-*-*-*-*-*-

"I hate you."

"Good! At least you can still feel something. I look at you and I see nothing. Not the beautiful girl I fell in Love with. Not the mother of my child. Not even the hateful monster that you pretend to be.  You’re just empty. I look at you and I feel nothing. And that scares the hell out of me."

"You forgot to say how hideous I am. Go on. I know you want to!"

"God, not that again!"

"I know you’re disgusted with me, admit it!"

"Right, I am disgusted with you! But it has nothing to do with the way you look. I am disgusted with what you let it do to you.  How you let it change you."

[guardian-rocket]

Who are your top 10 favorite muns to write with and why? If a mun is a multimuse also tell which are your favorite characters to write with and why?

(The order in which you list the people doesn't matter unless you want to assign them specific places.)

Question Master

Top 10, here we go... @antvnger Puppy-Mun is the first I am putting on this list first because of all the threads and ideas I've ever had on here the thread I've been doing with them (Space Heist) is the largest single run I've had so far. We actually had an entire 4 part mission and went to Knowhere. I feel like Rocket and Scott made some real progress in becoming friends and I love that. Every post they make is gold. They're nice to their anons and I generally enjoy interacting with them OOC and hijacking their random posts. They're also genuinely funny, which I feel is very important for someone portraying Scott. I already loved Ant-Man but Puppy-Mun makes me adore him even more! They also often tag me and I love that 💕

@byondtheveil Rei-Mun (Birb-Queen) is #1 OC in Rocket's world and my Rocket muse simply adores her. I always look forward to reading her replies and she's a great person to talk to and shoot the breeze OOC. We both love thrifting IRL so it's fun to just spam her DMs about my latest finds. Her character Rei is literally one of the most endearing original characters I've ever come across. She's well thought out and has connected with Rocket in a way most muses can't do. With her I have been able to explore Rocket's comfortability just popping on and off Earth and get some much deserved down time. @papetoonfox Papetoonfox was a RP partner I had many years ago. We haven't interacted much on tumblr but we got a RP going on Discord that I am fully engrossed in. Our conversations OOC often puts me in stitches and we have so much common interest it's so easy to just get lost in our own little nostalgic world of Y2K aesthetics and retrowave vibes. They're also very encouraging with me about my art and they produce some of the coolest music I've heard from anyone I know. I love their portrayal of Fox and so does my muse.

@stripesofbrooklyn They were one of the first to interact with me OOC when I started getting more active again and I feel we check in on eachother both ways pretty regularly I am confident to call them a friend. Our muses have great chemistry together and Rocket always loves hearing from them no matter what strange shenanigan they might be getting into. Rocket fully admires and trusts their Steve and is someone Rocket would go out of his way for.

@spidermanxnoir / @jeff-the-gnome-king First they get super points just for playing my favorite version of Spider-Man (Noir) and our thread which started off without any plotting has turned into one of the most epic adventures my Rocket has ever had. I think Rocket's gotten pretty attached to him as they've gone along and genuinely think he's cool. Looking forward to them retaining an ongoing friendship. Being able to tie or franchises together has been a ton of fun and I think we write beautifully together. Also they're super chill OOC and I love bugging them with my latest ideas. @the-mjolnir-owner This Thor is one of my best friends on Tumblr. They are often sending me posts in my DMs to see about Rocket and Thor and I just love their characterization. We also have a lot of fun discussions about Thor and the Guardians and I feel they capture Thor very well in their writing. Just in general they're an absolute joy.

@butwithmoreme I know our thread is fairly new/short but I literally hear Tony's voice in their writing, it's so damn good. As Rocket's mun I will hold a special place in my heart for anyone who doesn't just write him off for being a little shit. The fact they're being science bros together makes me so happy. @spideymn A big stand-out as a great writer. Sounding repetitive here, but I hear Tom Holland in their dialog and they feel very in character. A shining standout, and my muse likes him because he's a helpful kiddo. Happy to see them interacting together. @beatfreesmysoul They're my #1 music buddy right now, and I enjoy dropping into their DMs to be annoying lol. It's so great to have someone here to talk tunes with because I genuinely am a big music nerd. I love that they send me memes/tag me for that stuff too. As a Rocket RPer I often feel a bit sidelined so they make me feel included on things which I super appreciate. Our thread taking place earlier in the storyline is great too, kinda fun to undo all my muse's character development and let him have 'issues' he needs to work through and I love that we can explore or character's developing friendship.

@gctbusydying I am pretty sure they're my first Kitty Pryde and honestly, worth the wait. Interacting with them feels like we're jumping right out of the comics. I think that Kitty is canonly one of Rocket's favorite ladies and their friendship is important to me. I know I MOSTLY adhere to MCU canon but I've read the comics too (albeit a long time ago) but when it comes to Kitty I'm like -slams fist on desk- FRIENDS. I know we haven't had a TON of interaction but I hope it keeps going.

[wisteria-lodge]

For some reason, very few writing posts are about dialog. Like are you supposed to be naturally good at it, or just figure it out? Anyway, here are some tips that have been useful for me. (All examples come from the front page of A03, but the point is not to embarrass anyone. There is nothing seriously wrong with any of these.)

"I have work to do Leo. We need to find Mikey." Donnie responded, not looking over at Leo. 

New writers love to put character names in dialog. And try it sometime, actually say the name of the person you're talking to as you're talking to them. It's very intense, often kind of aggressive ("Clean your room, Leo.") When it does happen, it's usually a way to underline what kind of relationship you have with the person you're talking to. ("I'm sorry, Master Splinter." = I respect you, and see you as an authority figure.") ("We're cool right, Red?" = I want you to know you're someone I feel emotionally close to.)

Regulus groaned. "This will be fun."

“Reggie! Truth or dare?” Lupin asked

“Dare, Rems,” Regulus replied. No one else called him Reggie.

The nicknames get across a lot more meaning/utility/character development than just straight-up names would, so points. But my thing is, don't torture yourself. Just use "said." It's fine. It's a super common invisible word. You can't overuse "said" the same way you can't overuse "that." It honestly takes you out of it more if characters spend a whole fic "responding" or "observing" or "answering."

"Harvey, I wasn't flirting, I was just socializing. You know how much I love meeting and talking to people, men or not. You are the only one I ever wanted and you know that."

This is an example of 'on-the-nose' dialog. Even though the character is in a kind of intense situation, they're laying out exactly what they want to say very clearly, something people are are generally pretty bad at.

You can pack a lot of character development into a moment like this. This person has just been accused of flirting when they weren't - so does that make them angry? defensive? confused? let down? apologetic? scared? playful?

Movie dialog can get away with being more on-the-nose, because a good actor can bring all those different kinds of subtext to the same line. Like this bit from Revenge of the Sith:

OBI-WAN: Anakin, Chancellor Palpatine is evil!

ANAKIN: From my point of view the Jedi are evil!

Not "What do you know?" or "The Jedi threatened him!" or "He's given me more than the you ever have!" Just a very straightforward 'Well, from Anakin's point of view the jedi are evil, so why doesn't he just say that.'

But Hayden Christensen is a good enough actor to sell the line- he takes the slightly formal phrase "From my point of view" and delivers it in a way that sounds automatic, like maybe this is something he's been taught to say. I could believe that "From my point of view" is a phrase Obi-Wan has given him to use in arguments, and he's bringing it out here because they still have a teacher/student dynamic, and he's desperately hoping that somehow Obi-Wan might still be willing to listen. Imagine if once or twice in the previous films we had an exchange like "Anakin! What were you doing with those chance cubes!" "From my point of view, I was making it easier for the other customers to come up and talk to me," and then got hit with that exchange in the final movie.

"Turning yourself in frankly diffused a very unstable situation, and saved both sides a lot of trouble and probably some lives, and well... I thought I owed you that much."

This is a good example of a speaking quirk (I'm going though a few characters, all from the same fic.) Notice the code-switching. The character starts off very professional before becoming casual - they say "a lot of trouble" when they could have said "significant expense and effort" - which would be more of a match to "diffused a very unstable situation." So either they're getting comfortable with the person they're talking to, trying to make that person feel more comfortable, or else their professional mask is slipping for some reason

"Are you trying to paint yourself an honest thief? Ha!"

That "Ha!" is so nice because it's like... a little lame? But I totally buy that no one is actually going to tell this character that, because he's powerful. Great for a slightly funny sub-villain.

 "I gotta tell you about all the new jobs here! There's like, so many openings at the mines and in the factories!"

You don't even need to tell me this is a young character. That "like" does all the work for you.

"You want me to actively help you lot? Ha! What the fuck makes you think I'd ever do that?"

I like the combination of the precise and slightly technical "actively help" with the intense and in-your-face "fuck" and "you lot." There's a duality to this character. Like maybe they can code switch into 'expert' but choose not to. Intriguing.

Basically, you can have so much fun with a character swearing (or not), being formal (or not) using unusual words from their job or background, running scripts, talking too little, repeating themselves, having large or small vocabularies, phrasing everything as a question (or nothing as a question.) Gender, age, education level, location, background, profession, level of social prestige absolutely affect word choice and how characters talk... and if they're a robot, alien, angel, whatever - that's just an excuse to get even more stylized. (Heck, even over-using character names in dialog is a great speaking quirk for one specific character that you want to feel slightly intense/over-formal/other)

[gamesception]

Sception reads Cass Cain #6

Batman #569, September 1999 written by Janet Harvey, pencils by Sergio Cariello

So here we have the first instance where Cassandra is the main character of an issue, and the primary focus of its story, but the lead creatives aren't her primary team of Peterson, Puckett and Scott. And for a mainstream comic hero that's a big test. Harvey takes a different approach to writing a non-verbal character than Puckett, one that's maybe less innovative and experimental, but that's so easy and obvious that I really have to wonder why I didn't see the same approach taken more often. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

The comic starts with a non-super-villain affiliated gang trying to kick this Sanchez guy out of his gas station in an area they've claimed, presumably to take whatever gas and supplies are left there. And in blue boxes we have some faux noir-esque narration of the type commonly employed throughout bat books from the dawn of time, both for exposition and for letting letting the audience in on the main characters' thoughts. I'm not a big fan of the gimmick generally, and one of the things I liked about Cass, especially in her early non-verbal days, was that her book focused more on storytelling and characterization through the art on the panel. I know "show don't tell" is a bit of an overused cliche, but imo it invited the reader to empathize more directly with Cass since you didn't have this layer of text in between you and her.

But not every writer and artist were up to that - and Cass's faceless costume design made it that much harder. Most back book writers had been relying on their narration blocks for so long that they didn't know how to tell a story, let alone a bat story, without them. As a result, it seemed like most of the bat book writers just didn't know how to use Cass, and so she showed up sparingly in other books, and when she was just this silent shadow that none of the other bat family characters could meaningfully relate to.

The funny thing is, looking back now at this issue for the first time, from before her solo book even started, Harvey had already figured out how to put the circle through the square hole.

Because the blue text blocks are Cass's thoughts, or at least describing what she's thinking, even if in universe she isn't thinking these things in words exactly. In the same way that a comic might write out a foreign character's dialog in English, and then just tack a note that in-universe they're speaking French or whatever.

Which, yeah, is just the obvious solution to the problem? If you're writing a Cass story but don't know how to do that without your typical narration boxes, then just use your typical narration boxes.

Oh, also I love that close up in the middle panel there, with her big smile - drawn right through the mask the way I keep saying artists should do. Because it's ok to cheat in comic art. Spider man cheats by having the eyes on his mask change shape to show his expression all the time. But anyway, yeah, with that big smile you can feel her easy confidence and excitement. She's enjoying herself. She's having fun. This is play to her. That idea, that she /enjoys/ being Batgirl, will be important when we get into some of her issues with guilt later in her own book, so it's great that we're already seeing that side of her here, an aspect of her personality that is entirely lost when she's portrayed as just Batman's silent ninja enforcer.

But yeah, that's Cass right there. That's our girl, that's who we're here to see.

We also see that her instincts are dangerous - she was taught by an assassin - trained to kill. No matter how much fun she's having, she can't just cut loose, can't get carried away and lose focus. She has to actively restrain herself. She starts to have fun flexing her fighting skills, but then she remembers what those skills were originally meant for, what she was originally meant for, and the fun is over.

Mr. Sanchez is in high spirits after the rescue and very chatty. Cass gets annoyed by this, which I choose to read as reflexive insecurity about not being able to communicate verbally herself.

Cass signals Bat HQ that she's secured the gas station. Apparently there had been a plan to send extra help to get some gas for the hospital (the hospital is still functional? Why isn't Dr. Thomkins there then?), but it's too dangerous at the moment so Cass is just going to have to hold the station by herself overnight. Which is framed as a tough mission, a test of her competence.

There's a flashback to a few hours earlier when the mission was first assigned, and we get to see how excited Cass is to be useful, how eager she is to please Bruce in particular. Especially nice since we get to see her emoting without the mask in the way. The scene is nice, and it emphasizes both her youth - she's still just a teenager - and her motivations. We also see Barbara both vouching for Cass's ability and worrying about her safety, which fits the big sister/surrogate mother role she'll serve in Cass's ongoing.

Meanwhile, Bruce still isn't completely sure what to make of Cassandra. He trusts Barbara's recommendation, and has seen first hand Cass's martial skills and her commitment to finding nonlethal solutions to problems even where none seems possible, but yeah, this is very much a test.

Cass gets frustrated with the chatty Mr. Sanchez and heads outside, where we get a bunch more of the narration blocks and some art I don't especially care for, with weird comic woman proportions and spray-painted-on costume and weird boots. The ruined city background art is pretty nice, and none of this is terrible looking. Just not particularly great. I like the way the artist draws Cass's Batgirl outfit when she's just a lurking shadow, just a silhouette, like in that first panel there, even if it's small, or this panel from earlier that I didn't grab before:

Yeah, good spooky Cass silhouettes. But when the details fill in, not as much.

Anyway, the thugs come back later with a rocket launcher, there's some fighting, but while Cass is able to save Mr. Sanchez, the gas station is destroyed.

Which means Cass failed her mission. Failed the test.

Failed Batman.

Cariello does a fantastic job portraying how fucking pissed Cass is in this panel, and how terrifying she is in her anger. Again, when he's rendering her as a spooky silhouette it's great.

Again Cassandra risks gets carried away - this time by her anger rather than having fun - and her restraint slips, letting the lethal training her father drilled into her come to the surface.

Sanchez talks Cass down, and she turns away just as Bruce shows up, and thankfully there was a separate stash of gas they can take to keep the hospital generators running.

....

Overall this was a pretty good issue for our girl. While I might not like some of the art or some of the writing choices as much as if this issue had been done by Peterson, Puckett, and Scott, this is still very much a Cass Cain Batgirl story, the kind you might have seen in her solo book. The tone is right, the themes are there, the interpersonal dynamics between her, Bruce, and Barbara. Her character and personality comes across well.

Given how badly her solo book drops off later on, her disastrous villain period, the mess that followed after, how I never really felt like she found her footing again... over the years I've kind of built up this idea in my head that, as great as Cass was in her prime, maybe she just wasn't a good fit for the collaborative, factory format of mainstream US superhero books. Like only one team could ever get her right, which made her a bad fit in a medium where creative teams are constantly shifting and a shared universe where characters are regularly crossing over into each others stories.

But this book stands as an easy and very early refutation of that entire thought. Harvey isn't writing this book like Puckett would have, and Cariello isn't illustrating like Scott would have. This is a book that looks and reads much more like typical Bat book fare, and yet Cass is working fine here. That's very recognizably our girl. And this right after the previous issue I looked at, where she worked pretty well as a side character.

If multiple creative teams outside of her own could get her right this early on, why did others fail - and fail so very badly - later on, when the character if anything should have been more well established?

[camille-lachenille]

20 questions for fic writers

Took me forever to answer but here I am! I was tagged by @echo-bleu

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

36 on my main pseud, the rest being either translations or old stuff I archived from Wattpad.

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

89,808 words... How? I write mostly one shots, where do all these words come from?

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Currently the Silmarillion and LOTR, but I dabbed into the Hobbit fandom and Six of Crows when I first made my AO3account

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Elflings don't grow in a garden (usually) (Silm/LOTR)

Change of the Seasons (Hobbit)

Once upon aDecember in Ravka (Six of Crows)

An unlikely friendship (LOTR)

An ever-growing family (Silm/LOTR)

5. Do you respond to comments?

Yes, even if it’s only an emoji and it takes me ages.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Dreams of Doom. It follows Niënor from the moment she arrives in Brethil to her death so, yeah, canon is not kind to her. But I think Náro isn’t far behind because I played with the contrast between a very soft start and an angsty ending to make it even more brutal.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I dont' know... Most of my fics have either a very fluffy ending or a bittersweet one so it's hard to decide. But after pondering the question I'm going to say Ice Age(s) which is bittersweet but the end is definitely very fun and promising for the characters

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Luckily never.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Nope. I wrote a few scenes with implied/vague sexual content in Dreams of Doom but it’s not smut.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I dont' write crossovers. Anymore. I wrote a few super whacky Percy Jackson-Harry Potter crossovers when I was 13 and had just discovered fanfiction.

But in my curred era of writing, the closes thing I have to a crossover is my forever WIP A Season in Alqualondë which is a Regency Au, Jane Austen style Silm fic.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, but I translated two (one is currently still being translated but I dont' have the brain to work on it often)

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Never, and I don’t think I’ll do it. I’m terrible at working with someone else.

14. What's your all time favorite ship?

Éowyn x Faramir and Celebrían x Elrond

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Tori daughter of Nori, a Hobbit fic where Nori finds an abandoned elfling during his wanderings and adopts her. I have lots of notes and even a few scenes written for this fic but I just don't have inspiration for it anymore.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Making people feel things? I also really like roccuring images and metaphors thoughout the story, to emphasis the characters' feelings or background. From several comments I know I am good at writing very strong contrast between the softest scene and the angstiest angst in a few sentences/paragraphs X) (see Náro or Dreams of Doom)

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Verb tenses. English isn't my first language so I admit to go a bit freestyle regarding verbs and sometimes even sentence structure. I also find writing dialogs quite difficult and always fear they'll come out as stilted and artificial, hence why I make the characters speak as little as possible (Tolkien did that, I am only trying to emulate his style XD)

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

As said above, dialogues aren't one of my stengths so I try not to incorporate another language unless absolutely necessary to the story.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Percy Jackson, on Wattpad, nearly a decade ago.

20. Favourite fic you've written?

Ask me to choose my favourite child! But if I have to pick the one I am the most proud of, the one I spent most time and research and went really out of my comfort zone to write, it's clearly Dreams of Doom. I feel that, in terms of writing angst and character developement this fic is a turning point in my style.

And since I'm so late I don't tag anyone

[queen-susans-revenge]

Writer 20 Questions

seen via @findswoman!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

58

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

177,314

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, Dragon Age, fairy tale retellings, and one fic each for Sherlock Holmes and Batman

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

so Fade to Black and Fade to Black and Back, my two multi-chapter smut series for Star Wars Rebels, are I guess going to be my enduring fandom legacy lol. 637 kudos for the first and 452 for the second.

After that it's...more smut, but Talk About It is Dragon Age smut, and I guess my most popular stand-alone story at 399 kudos.

Then it's back to Star Wars Rebels, but Wedding Dance (377 kudos) is a gen fic, so that's my most popular non-smut piece. Braided at 320 kudos is another explicit one.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I always mean to, but sometimes when a bunch come in at once I get overwhelmed. I try and go back and respond to unanswered comments every time I revisit an old fic. Just this week I answered a couple that were seven years old *wince*. It's never too late, right?

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

That's Scenes From Rivendell, no question. I can still make myself cry re-reading that fic. Poor Celebcarch.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Most of them have happy endings really, but I'll say the happiest is Marriage of Convenience, because it was written to provide a happy ending for Alistair and Anora--and that's a pairing that only arises out of some pretty grief-laden circumstances in Dragon Age: Origins. So that's the fic that takes something sad and makes it better.

8. Do you get hate on your fic?

A couple times people have tried to chide me for writing smut, which is like ??? Did you not see ALL the warnings? My sister what were you even doing at the devil's sacrament?

9. Do you write smut?

I doooooo. Yes I do. I don't feel even a little bit bad about it, either.

Sex is important! It's one of the most intense, emotion-rich experiences in life! Especially in a love story--there is nothing that will tell you more about the dynamic between two people than showing how they have sex. And the smut is the part that's usually left out in mainstream media, so it's the big "missing piece" that I am often drawn to want to fill in, creatively.

10. Do you write crossovers?

I haven't, but it would be a fun challenge.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware of!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes and it's the best feeling every time. Same for getting podfic made of my stories, or fanart. Just the best.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic?

No, but from rp experiences, I think collabs are absolutely the way to go if possible. It just gets lonely writing on your own, and having a partner keeps the energy up.

14. What‘s your all-time favorite ship?

Space pirate OCs. But excluding my own characters... man, I've had poor luck with my ships, honestly. Looking back through the characters I was really passionate about, canon screwed me one way or another on all of them. I loved Mulder/Scully, Xena/Gabrielle, and Kanan/Hera, and all of their shows went off the rails at the end, so I think about them all with a tinge of sadness now.

It's better to love your own characters, because then at least when you make awful things happen to them, it doesn't come as a surprise.

15. What’s the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

My only current WIP is a kid's book, and I hope I do finish it!

16. What are your writing strengths?

Dialog, and also there's a sort of lyrical register that I can shift into pretty easily (it's a trick I often use for endings).

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Oh, self-indulgence. Things like writing about Kanan's seaglass eyes, or people "growling" their dialog. Cheese, basically. I don't rein myself in too much for fanfic, but in original writing I have to be strict with edits because if I don't force myself to stay spare and restrained, I'm probably getting cheesy with it.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

Tricksy, very tricksy! It's certainly not something you can just hand off to Google Translate. I personally wouldn't do it unless I had some first hand experience with the language, or could consult with native speakers.

Funny story on that, for the space pirate novel, I had a bit where I needed an automated warning looping in various languages. The English was "Warning! Please evacuate the building!"

I asked my Russian friend to give me a translation, and he said I'd need to do some cultural translation first, because the Russian "would be a lot more direct. And they wouldn't say 'please.'" So he gave me Vnimaniye! Vyhodi zdaniye! which apparently translates more directly to "Attention! Exit building."

That's the kind of thing Google Translate can't do for you.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

X-Files. This was Usenet days. Alt.tv.x-files. Many many memories. At one point there was a spinoff group so we could roleplay, but not roleplay being in the show, exactly. Just like all living in a town. It was almost a proto-Tumblr.

I miss Usenet.

20. Favorite fic you’ve ever written?

It might be The Last of the Rebel Angels: that one's not the best, I don't think, but it's the weirdest and most ambitious. I had something to say, and even if I only managed to sketch it out or gesture at it, there's still a really tender place in my heart for that fic.

Any fic writers who'd like to fill out the questions, please consider yourselves tagged!

[kikizoshi]

I like your caring ver. of Gogol! The way he can be funnily scolding is kinda hot. I think it's his way of showing love/frustration mixed all together! it's apparent in his dialogs with Sigma (in extra too). Nikolai likes the guy, in a way, and doesn't want to upset him. And when Sigma does something that he dislikes, Gogol tells him off in a way that is really light-hearted and fun.

I feel, that Gogol is the type of personality that is afraid of scarring another person with his negative emotions/reality.

so even when Nikolai displays them he does it in a "fun" and joking way. and i think in the last draft you did capture that.

Oh, thank you very much! :)

I've spent so much time focusing on the inner layers of how Nikolai feels and communicates, I didn't think as much about the surface layers. But you're right. To him, it probably is mostly just him showing his love/frustration. I don't know why I couldn't see that, but your pointing it out helped a lot. Ty :)

I also hadn't thought about it (I don't tend to think about the characters I'm writing as hot in general), but I see it now lol. And yeah, the frustrated joking shows his love because if he didn't care, he wouldn't make such a deal of it in the first place. (Note: I'm not saying that's a good thing. Just that it's how it is.)

Also, I like your idea about Nikolai being afraid of scarring another person with his negativity. I think it fits really well. I'd thus far thought about it in terms of how he wants to be received, and how he communicates--that he never says most things (especially negative things or issues he has) directly, because, well, a lot of reasons. But worrying about scarring/deeply hurting others should definitely be added to the list for certain characters.

The one exception to all of that, I'd say, is actually his relationship with Fyodor. The way I've decided to characterise them, Fyodor is the sort of person who has his own deeply entrenched demons (this story actually makes something of a joke of that), and they share a sort of commonality in doing their best to be optimistic in spite of that. From the very beginning, Fyodor showed Nikolai that he minded his upset no more than his joy, and was open to receiving both. So when it comes to Fyodor, Nikolai's actually a bit more genuine with his emotions and less concerned about hurting him/pushing him away (note: a bit; he still worries about it).

However, as this scene happens in a room with four other people, all that openness goes out the window :D It made me happy that you picked up on this type of joking, because I love this particular nuance of Nikolai's character. It's very fun, but difficult to capture.

And regarding what you said about his interaction with Sigma: it's interesting to me, because it's really twofold. He's keeping the scene lighthearted and fun, but also annoying the shit out of Sigma. He's both keeping the mood up and keeping Sigma at an arm's length. Because I'm absolutely sure that he could keep the mood lighthearted without being passive-aggressive and making jokes that Sigma finds irritating, but he doesn't, and that's an interesting choice to me. It seems like his default is to put up a persona and playfully push people away, but sometimes (and more often than you'd think) he lets the mask slip down a tad, giving someone the opportunity to engage with him for who he is. And if they don't, then pop! up again the mask goes. I think a key to a character Nikolai can truly connect with may be a personality trait that lets them latch onto that momentary slip and interact with him on a more meaningful level. Sigma--unfortunately for him--does not seem to have this trait, and so as much as Nikolai likes him, I doubt how deep a connection between them could grow.

[rendy-a]

I came as soon as I saw your reblog!

✨ Give you and your writing a compliment. Go on now. You know you deserve it. 😉

🎶 Do you listen to music while you write? What song have you been playing on loop lately?

💖 What made you start writing?

🤯 What's a genre you struggle with as a writer (ex. romance, action, etc.)?

Ooh, someone actually responded! How fun. Let's see...

A compliment. Hmm. Sometimes, when people reblog my older stuff, I'll read it again, and it's like it isn't even my writing. I'll get to the end and think, hey, that was pretty good.😅

Music. I don't listen while I write (I'd get too distracted to finish!) but I often brainstorm while I'm trapped on the treadmill listening to music. Usually, it's just whatever general mix Spotify throws at me but I am guilty of going back to the old Disney romance Playlist when I need that special tone.

Writing origins. I had two content creators who were rather my inspiration. I follow an artist who is a fan of a niche character on an anime. She said she couldn't find the content she wanted, so she started making it herself. Then one of my favorite blogs here decided to deactivate and I thought, I want more of that content, so why don't I (with permission, of course) take over that AU and make it myself? So i did!

I'm not great with action. I tend to drop a lot of the descriptive parts of my writing until it's all dialog, scene setting and the barest description of movements. I think I should really try sometime to write a longer piece with more description of places and how characters interact with the setting and not just each other.

Thanks for the chat!

[brainrattlers]

Play It Cool - Tyson Jost (18/n)

Author’s Notes: Cannot lie - much happier to be writing about things that aren’t tearing my heart out like reliving the trade. New chapter in Tyson’s career, and a new chapter in my story. And can I just say how much of a badass mom Laura is for heading to Denver to pick up some of Tyson’s things from his apartment so he wasn’t stuck in St. Paul with hardly any clothes? This really happened! (Actually a lot of things in this chapter are real events that happened - that’s why it was fun getting to recap the first few weeks in St. Paul and on the road!)

This chapter is very dialog heavy.

Also I don’t normally do this, but if you need a dose of serotonin to amp up Tyson Tuesday even more - I did include a photo in this installment. I couldn’t not. Pairing: Tyson Jost x OFC (AJ) Word Count: 5449 (it’s another long one) TW: Hmm. Language? There is drinking. This is probably one of the more tame chapters honestly. Need Chapter 17? Check it here: https://brainrattlers.tumblr.com/post/692726073181585408/play-it-cool-tyson-jost-17n

March 16th. The first official day that Tyson was in Minnesota. After talking with his mom and AJ the night before, getting some sleep, and having a full schedule ready for him that first day, including a game that night, Tyson actually felt different than he had for a while in Denver.

Sure, he missed waking up and seeing the mountains, he missed a fuzzy, bedheaded AJ curled up next to him. Crawling out of bed, his view was actually an apartment building across the hotel’s valet parking lot. That wasn’t stellar.

But with a deep breath in and out, Tyson realized today was a new page in a new chapter of his life. 

He felt nervous. But he was also excited.

Texting AJ, even though he knew she’d probably still be asleep, he let her know he was thinking of her. In his head, this was going to be his new thing. Until she was with him, he was going to greet her with a text or call every morning. This was cemented in his mind when he decided to open Instagram and saw a ton of DMs from girls in the Twin Cities area already hitting on him. He smiled, but he knew it wasn’t what he wanted. And what he wanted… was going to have the ultimate decision up to her.

A quick shower, and into his travel suit, Tyson grabbed breakfast, and hopped the hotel shuttle to get to the arena for media availability and practice that morning. Greeted by the front office, Tyson was shown around, and provided some Wild gear to wear during the morning interview. The socials team snagged some photos of him in his new uniform.

AJ saw the tweet, and forgot that Foligno already had 17 for his jersey number. Tyson was now wearing 10 on his back, and it was something AJ was going to have to get used to seeing. While she didn’t want to admit it… Tyson looked damn good in that green. (Of course, she hadn’t found a color yet that he didn’t look good in.)

AJ: Morning, my Minnesota man… As much as it stings to say it, lookin’ damn fine in that green. Hope you have a good day. Call after the game?

With as jam packed as his schedule was, she wasn’t expecting any messages any time soon honestly. Which was fine with AJ anyway, she really did need to focus on work today with the previous afternoon being a bit of a washout. The phone in her pocket buzzed often throughout the morning, with various friends and family asking how she was doing, and if she had heard from Tyson. Thankfully she set her watch to alert her of messages from Jess, Mel, Laura, and Tyson himself. Made sifting through all the random buzzes not a constant grabbing of her phone while at work.

After presumably practice, AJ’s watch buzzed, leaving her with a grin.

Tyson: Is that what color I’m wearing? (winking emoji) Apparently the guys want to go out after the game, but I’ll make sure I call before you go to sleep. You watching me tonight?

AJ: Of course. You know I’ll be up late, call when you get back in. (heart emoji)

Tyson: You’re the best (kissing emoji)

After a few more hours of work, AJ chatted a bit with Laura about her quick trip into Denver on Friday. This gave AJ two evenings to get a few things packed up for her to bring with for Tyson so he wasn’t wearing the same clothes for more than a week straight. On her way to Tyson’s from work, she stopped in at the store and picked up some colorful markers and a notepad, with ideas swirling in her head.

It was a weird feeling, being in a place that felt so much like home, but now so empty and lonely. Looking around, AJ began remembering things that happened or things that were said in certain areas of Tyson’s home. 

The corner where the Christmas tree was, the one that they picked out ornaments for each other and decorated together not four months ago. 

The table in the kitchen where Tyson and AJ ate spaghetti and meatballs that he prepared the first time he cooked for her.

Tyson’s ukulele sitting on the coffee table.

AJ looked over at the front door, the same front door that the two came into late after a game, or after dinner. The door that he would playfully pin AJ against, either in the heat of the moment to kiss her passionately, or to start tickling her sides to make her squeal. It was always a 50/50 on which he was going to do.

With a heavy sigh, which she wasn’t sure if it was a happy or a sad one, AJ got to work digging out the suitcases from the closet, and took them upstairs to Tyson’s bedroom to fill them with clothes and a few other items. She realized half of his clothes were dirty, so she started running the washing machine. All the while, she was scribbling on the notepad and ripping pieces of paper off.

By the time the laundry was finished, AJ had Tyson’s two suitcases filled with clothes, toiletries, and a few items he had requested to be shipped to him. Also half of the notepad was already used. Her plan was then to clean up the place Thursday night, and his mom was going to spend the night Friday, and head out to St Paul on Saturday - a very quick trip. The two agreed to meet up for dinner, and have a bit of a girl’s night.

Satisfied with her work for the evening, AJ headed back to her place in time to catch the game. The team had already taken a shine to Tyson’s ultimate hype man status, having him read the starting lineup list in the locker room pregame. The team cheered with every name on the roster he read, and they all cheered for him when finished. AJ felt a warm feeling in her chest as she watched the clip on Twitter as she sat down with some takeout from Kickin’ Chicken she picked up on the way home. 

This might have been the first time ever that AJ purposely watched a hockey game that the Avalanche weren’t playing in. She’d always been loyal to the Avs, but where Tyson was starting a new chapter in his book of stories, AJ was following suit. It didn’t feel right watching a game that no one was in burgundy and blue. She didn’t know most of the players’ names on either team. It was then and there she decided she was actually going to study up on everyone during the game.

And there he was… Tyson Jost, wearing number 10 and a fishbowl still as he hit the ice for the first time playing for the Wild organization. AJ got teary-eyed seeing him skate around on the fourth line. Part of it was just happiness that she was seeing him on the ice doing the thing he loved, but part of it was still sadness that he was still on fourth line. Through it all though, the realization of he’s the new guy and they literally had to insert him in the roster somewhere hit. Tyson held his own though, still playing center on the line. And it wasn’t a LOT of ice time, but still over ten minutes. He hadn’t had that with the Avs in weeks. Other than a few hits and some special teams’ time on the ice, he didn’t have anything noteworthy to report in the game. 

But he got to play. And it made him happy.

Cleaning up a bit after the game, AJ’s phone alerted her to the fact Tyson was trying to facetime. Upon answering, lots of cheering and hollering was happening in the background of the Wild locker room as Tyson tried to have at least a tiny conversation before AJ would need to get some sleep. The smile was a mile wide on his face when she answered.

“HEY! Did you catch the game? Are you a fan yet?”

“Hey babe, I did watch the game. And you know I’m a fan of you! How’s it going?”

AJ could see faces peeking into the frame behind Tyson, being silly and waving. 

“Josty, is that your GIRRRRRLFRIEND?!”

The face wasn’t familiar, but AJ still laughed and waved, saying hello. Tyson turned a little pink in the cheeks.

“Yeah! This is AJ. AJ, this is everyone!” Tyson panned the phone around as AJ waved. The voices did quiet down in the background slightly as the conversation continued.

“How did it feel tonight?”

Tyson thought about it for a few moments. “It felt good. Different, but good.”

“I could tell! The style is so different from what I’m used to watching. Don’t get too excited, but it was actually fun to watch. Is this what it feels like to actually watch other teams play?”

A guffaw and smile hit Tyson. “Yeah, I suppose so.  How was your day? Has my mom reached out? She’s coming Friday to Denver, she said she wanted to meet up with you if possible. Then she’s here Saturday.”

“Oh, good to know what’s up with your mom. I’ll reach out to her in that case. Work was alright, pretty tired. It’s been a long week and it’s catching up with me. It’s almost the weekend though at least. I know that doesn’t mean a whole lot to you though. Did you at least make it to Target to get some clothes?”

“I got loaded up with team wear, I should be good until Saturday,” Tyson turned his head to say something to one of his new teammates. “I think I’m actually just going to head home, I’m exhausted. Raincheck on going out though!”

It was clear that he was getting ribbed for still talking to AJ and not wanting to go out, but AJ saw Jared in the background patting him on the shoulder and nodding in approval. Spurgeon was no Landeskog, but AJ had an inkling he was a good guy.

“Can I call you back when I get home? It’s a little loud here…”

“Of course, I’ll be up a little longer. I want to hear all about your day. Love you, talk soon.”

(“OooOOOOOOoooooh!” heard from the background)

“Love you too babe, talk in a bit.” 

Tyson turned around with a smirk, finding three of his teammates behind him laughing. All he could do was roll his eyes. He fielded a few questions about her, namely…

“So when is she moving out here?”

He didn’t know how to answer, because he didn’t have a real one to give. “Soon I hope. She had just moved to Denver last year and was just getting truly settled when this all hit.” He sighed sadly. Really he hoped she would come with, but he wasn’t absolutely sure how it would work out.

“You’ll see her soon enough, Tyson. It’ll be alright.” 

After a bit longer with media availability and getting dressed to leave, Tyson got “home” in a few minutes (it was actually faster to walk with all of the foot traffic surrounding the Xcel Energy Center - his hotel was just a couple blocks down the street), and tapped his keycard against the door. Hanging up his suit jacket in the closet and loosening his tie, he flopped onto the chaise portion of the sofa in his room, digging his phone from his pocket. Muscle memory found him tapping apps and contacts, and a tired smile graced his face when AJ answered.

“Hey Eggo. How was your day?”

The two chatted for a good half an hour before AJ could tell Tyson was more exhausted than she’d ever seen him. He had quite a day going through practice, more interviews, and the game. She was glad he opted to not go out that night, that a good night’s sleep would probably be best (for both of them really, she was tired from packing up a couple suitcases). Tyson saw her eyes drooping a bit too, so the two agreed to talk more the following day, at least a few texts, and would call later that evening. 

With an extended goodnight, the two crashed, albeit alone, but definitely hard.

AJ’s day was typical work, and Tyson was learning the ropes in his new organization. He texted when he had free time, sending photos of interesting things he saw throughout his day. AJ smiled with each message, happy that he was finding his groove pretty quickly. She’d already started following Minnesota’s social media accounts, and listened in to Coach Evason’s presser that morning. Their social media style was so different from the Avalanche’s, but, just like the game the previous night, it was a different vibe. It wasn’t bad, it was just different.

One thing AJ did love hearing though was how the fourth line wasn’t referred to as “fourth line,” how Bednar would refer to it - Evason referred to it as “Jost’s line.” It did give her a warm fuzzy, that it felt like Minnesota was already giving Tyson ownership of his line. And the talk about him being put in more situations, hoping he’ll get to showcase more of his skills on special teams (and not just the PK), made her heart swell with pride. 

This was Tyson’s chance to shine like she knew he could.

After work, AJ chatted with Laura a bit before heading back to his apartment to clean up. Thankfully Tyson didn’t have a total bachelor pad, and he’d really done a good job of keeping it moderately picked up, especially since they’d been dating. Only once did AJ have to voice her frustration of almost falling into the toilet in the middle of the night from him leaving the seat up. But he quickly got back in the habit, after having lived with his mom and sister growing up. Really it was just picking up some of the mess she’d made while packing, cleaning up the kitchen a bit, same with the bathroom. Lastly she changed the sheets on the guest room bed so they’d be fresh for her when she arrived.

Nearly back home, AJ’s phone rang through the speakers of her car, Tyson’s face plastered on the caller ID. Grabbing the phone, she brought him inside with her and collapsed on the sofa in the living room, kicking her shoes off as Tyson asked how her day was.

AJ mentioned how she was elbows deep in a large printer, and that she had to take apart a computer and replace a power supply. Typical day stuff for her, but he thought it sounded amazing that she could fix this stuff. The two talked about his mom coming in the next day, and AJ confessed that she was actually going to pick Laura up from the airport, and they were going to have dinner before getting to his place for the evening. 

“You’re not going to pump my mom for dirt about me as a kid, are you?”

“Hmm… well I hadn’t planned on it, but I feel like there must be something… what are you hiding Jost?”

Tyson turned bright red, but inside, he was all smiles. AJ was the first girlfriend in quite a while that had met his mom (and family), and the fact that she felt okay with meeting up with mom without him made him feel even more at ease. Although, not going to lie, he was a little worried about what his mom might bring up. Not that Tyson was a bad kid, he just had some silly moments. He had a feeling his mom would be all about telling those stories.

AJ went in to work the next morning an hour early to make up for leaving early to pick up Laura at DIA, and the day dragged. She was starting to get a little nervous about how the conversations would go, but she also knew that if she could talk that easily with Tyson, she should be able to chat with Laura the same way. 

With just practice and the rest of the day to himself, he explored the city a little bit, at least walking the neighborhood around his home for the next couple of weeks, if not months. Donning some sweatpants, and AJ’s Wizard World hoodie, he hit the street. A number of shops, pubs and eateries lined 7th Street in the neighborhood, although it seemed like it might be a little rough around the edges late at night on non-game nights. Otherwise it seemed like a pretty normal little entertainment district near the arena, much like LoDo is to Ball Arena (just smaller). He snagged a coffee at Cafe Astoria, and peeked in the front windows at Cosetta, places he could see taking AJ, even if it were just for a visit. He also Googled a record store that AJ had mentioned, Electric Fetus, but unfortunately that one was a bit of a ways away in Minneapolis, and he didn’t have a car yet. It wasn’t going to be this visit, but his mom’s next visit that hopefully she’d be able to get his car to him.

Selfishly, he wished AJ could just drive the Grand Cherokee to him and just stay, but he realized then her car would still be in Denver.

After a few hours of meandering the neighborhood, Tyson headed back to the hotel for a nap. His phone buzzing though is what woke him up, and it was a selfie of AJ and Laura at the airport. 

Just as AJ hoped, the conversations flowed fine between herself and Laura. It gave the two a chance to really talk, uninhibited by Tyson (and Kacey) like the last time they met up at Christmas. Laura asked all sorts of questions about what AJ does, and how she got into it, how she ended up in Denver. 

“So how did you and Tyson meet? I’m curious to hear YOUR side of the story.”

“Wait, now I feel like I need to know how Tyson tells the story.”

“Oh no, I want to hear it from you so I can compare notes, and then I’ll tell you if there were any major differences.”

AJ told the story as she navigated the ever-present and especially busy rush hour traffic and construction on I-70, excluding the fact he was only in a towel, and that she had her headphones in and was singing.

All Laura could do was laugh for a couple moments. “That’s not quite what Tyson had told me. He mentioned he was in a towel, and apparently heard you singing all the way from the showers in the locker room. Don’t tell him I told you, but that was one of the first things he ever told me - that you have a beautiful singing voice.”

“WHAT? Hahah oh that’s… not true. Wait, when did he tell you this?”

“Again, don’t tell him I told you, but he called me that night before the game, and mentioned it. You made quite a first impression.”

AJ blushed, and got a little quiet.

Laura continued, “Those first few days were rough on him, he was sure you were dating someone else on the team. I had a feeling though things were going to turn out though. All the things he had said about you, other than dating… Nate? It just felt like he knew instantly.”

The driver cringed at the mention of dating Nate. It definitely wasn’t dating, and honestly, if she had a brother, AJ would have felt like kissing Nate would be like kissing that brother. But then the weight of what Laura just revealed hit. And she could see the realization on AJ’s face.

“Thankfully he was wrong about Nate - that’s a story in itself. Nate’s the reason I ended up out here, that I have my job, and that I was in the locker room that day. But… nooo. Definitely not dating Nate. And aside from the totally awkward meetup with Tyson in a towel and me on a ladder… I knew there was something different about him, in the best way possible. It probably sounds weird to say this in response, but… you raised an amazing son. You and the whole family.”

“Thank you, it means a lot to hear that we got things right with him. That reminds me, when we stop, and don’t tell him, but I couldn’t not come down to see you and NOT bring a couple baby photos.” Laura’s smirk was just as mischievous as Tyson’s - AJ now knew where he got it from.

The two women stopped for a quick bite to eat at a local bistro, and then headed to Tyson’s. And Laura kept her promise of showing off a couple of adorable baby Tyson photos.

(photo credit - Tyson’s IG. LOOK AT THAT FACE!!!)

Rummaging through the kitchen cabinets, AJ remembered that she had left a bottle of wine there a few weeks prior for Tyson’s birthday, not knowing that he wouldn’t be able to drink any due to the painkillers he was on for his mouth at the time. Splitting the bottle, they laughed and told all sorts of stories, about themselves, about Tyson and the family. Realizing it was getting late, AJ ended up staying over, crashing in Tyson’s bed, Laura in the guest room. This was a much better idea than driving home, then having to get up, drive back to pick up Laura and snag breakfast before heading back to the airport, luggage in tow.

Before falling asleep, AJ texted Tyson, whom she guessed was asleep by that point.

AJ: You had such chubby cheeks as a toddler!!! What a cutie you were… (heart emoji)

The morning came early, with AJ and Laura lugging suitcases to AJ’s car parked on the street. Quick trip to get some of the best pancakes in town, and the two were off to the airport. Making sure she was at the correct terminal, AJ helped her with the luggage, making sure they were able to get it checked. Before hitting TSA security, Laura gave AJ a huge hug.

“You take care of yourself! And when you can… get up to St. Paul. Tyson misses you.”

“Did he tell you to tell me that?”

“Maybe,” Laura chuckled, “Seriously though, if you need anything, you know you can call me anytime, and if I can, I’ll do it. You know you’re an honorary Jost.”

AJ nodded, and with another hug and photo together, Laura disappeared into the TSA line. Heading back to her car, AJ grabbed her phone to let Tyson know what was up.

AJ: Hey babe, just dropped off your mom at the airport. Had a really good time with her! She should get there in a few hours.

Tyson: I can’t believe she showed you baby photos.

AJ: She’s got a flair for mischief. It must be genetic, I know where you get it from now.

Tyson: You love it.

AJ: I love YOU. The mischief just comes with, package deal. Driving home, going to get a quick nap… was a late night.

Tyson: Wait, what did you two get up to?

AJ: Just a girls’ night in. Plus it is fun to let you sit and wonder. Love you (winking emoji)

Tyson: … and I’m the mischievous one? Love you babe. Gotta get to morning skate before the game tonight. 

Finding her bed at home, AJ almost instantly passed out, curled up with Maple. She groggily woke up, squinting at the phone screen.

Tyson: Back at the hotel with mom. How did you pack this much stuff?

AJ: Sounds good. And I told you I was a Girl Scout back in the day. Just wait until you see how I pack when I fly!

Tyson: I hope that means I find out soon.

AJ: No promises. Kick some ass tonight babe, I’ll be watching the game. (heart emoji)

With his mom crashed on the sofa after a long 36 hours, Tyson began carefully unpacking the suitcases a bit before heading back to the arena, where he found a number of things he did not expect.

Namely notes from AJ, folded and tucked into various items in the suitcases. In pant legs of slacks. In suit jacket pockets. In the waistband of some boxer briefs.(“Miss seeing you in these.”) Wrapped around his razor handle (“Lookin’ sharp babe!”) He only found a fraction of them while unpacking - AJ was quite skilled in hiding them.

The last one he found though was in the kangaroo pocket of his burgundy hoodie. (“I want my hoodie back, damn it. Love you baby, can’t wait to trade them in person.”)

With Laura getting to watch her son for the first time in person wearing a Wild uniform, the team beat the Blackhawks 3-1.

After that, it was a hell of a homestand for Minnesota, with Tyson getting his first point as a member of the Wild vs the Golden Knights, an assist on Deslaurier’s goal - another new guy on the team, along with Marc-Andre Fleury. It was definitely an intense trade deadline for them.

The Avalanche came to town, and AJ was internally struggling on who to root for. Tyson didn’t have any points on the night, but the Wild did win 3-2 in OT. There were definitely some shenanigans going on with EJ and Tyson - come to find out Tyson was mic’d up that game for a future bit from the Wild’s media team and that came out later. After the game, Tyson was interviewed, and clearly Mikko was in the connecting hallway, seemingly waiting to stop and say hello before they had to leave to head back to Denver. He might have had a message for him - AJ was plotting something, but he was sworn to secrecy as to what. Tyson tried to get any sort of clues from her on their daily talks, but she wasn’t divulging ANYTHING. He even tried getting Jess and Nate to give some sort of hints, but he was shut down everywhere.

He couldn’t deny it, every time he saw a black Kia Soul on the street, he hoped it was AJ. Anytime he caught highlights of Avalanche games on the news, he squinted in hopes of catching AJ in the background. He stayed following Avs socials in the hopes to find AJ and Jess in the background during warm up videos holding signs. (He did catch them a few times, actually.) But not knowing what she was up to was driving him up the wall.

Continuing what was always a roadie for AJ, the Wild hit the road, which was AJ’s moment to pull off what she’d been planning for weeks, pretty much since Tyson was traded. Taking a couple days off of work, AJ drove back to her hometown, spent the night with her folks, and then drove to St. Louis. In tow were a hoodie she made with JOSTY 10 on the back as she couldn’t get a jersey that fast with his name and new number. Not surprising, she also had a sign.

When AJ picked out her seat, she wasn’t expecting to find one where she did, but found herself against the glass, where the Wild would be warming up at Enterprise Center. She also found out that it was like a Club Lexus ticket, but the “Rinkside Club” - she had access to get dinner from an incredible buffet, as well as visit Pub 67. Opting for just dinner and a soda, she headed back to her seat, where she befriended an official photographer, bonding over camera talk. But when it was time for warm ups… AJ’s heart started pounding.

Standing up against the glass, she pressed her tiny sign up - Enterprise Center has the weirdest rules about sign size restrictions. But AJ crammed what she needed to say on it.

Tyson - I miss you as 17, but you’re a perfect 10 to me! <3

The team took the ice, swooping around in loops, shooting pucks at MAF, but Talbot took his place.

And where it was usually EJ that would slam into the glass directly in front of her, or shoot a puck at her head… this was the start of AJ getting the absolute hell scared out of her when Deslauriers would launch himself into the glass in front of her. She wasn’t sure if he recognized her from the few times Tyson would facetime with her while at the practice rink or at the arena, but he had a grin on his face… and then completely hid her sign with how broad he was.

However it was just a couple moments later, that AJ kept her eyes trained on Tyson as he slowly skated by to get in line to take some pucks to launch at Talbot. He stopped dead in his tracks, and inched slowly backward to read the sign, realizing his name was on it. This was the first time on the road someone had a sign for him, and he was smiling at the thought.

Tyson chuckled and turned red, side-eying the sign, until he realized he recognized the handwriting.

He twisted around, finding himself face to.. Well sign, because the seats were a little higher than eye-level, so AJ stood about two foot taller than him. The confusion set in, then the absolute realization that AJ was definitely in front of him hit. If he weren’t trying to stay focused, he probably would have been in tears, he was so happy to see her, even if there was a two-inch thick piece of plexi between them. Eyes glassy regardless, Tyson kissed the knuckles of his glove and fist bumped AJ through the barrier. 

In her peripheral vision, she could see the younger girl next to her visibly huff that Tyson was not paying any attention to her.

AJ’s eyes mirrored Tyson’s, a tear falling down her cheek as she mouthed “Love you.”

It wasn’t much, but this was going to be the closest they were going to be for a bit longer. But the fact that she was able to even make this happen was so huge to Tyson. He loved seeing his girlfriend in the stands again, wearing his colors, and his name and number, even if it was his nickname. He finished up with his stick handling drill in front of her, trying to stay near her as much as possible.  

With warmups complete, the game started, and Tyson notched an assist on Fiala’s goal in the first. While the teammates on the ice high-fived the bench, Tyson did something a little unexpected - he turned to the other side of the rink, and pointed at AJ before hopping back over the boards to the bench. A couple of teammates questioned the action.

There was no containing the excitement. “AJ IS HERE!”

Spurgeon leaned in with a, “Told you that you’d see her soon.” He slugged him on the shoulder.

The downers though, other than the 4-3 loss in OT, was that the team was flying back to Minnesota directly after the game. And worse was that no matter what Tyson or AJ said to security, she couldn’t get back to see him. 

AJ ended up texting him from the parking lot at Union Station, where it was probably going to be about an hour before she could get out. This of course turned into a quick phone call before Tyson made it to the airport.

Despite the loss and the security at the arena wrecking plans, Tyson was still ecstatic knowing his girlfriend was there.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were coming?”

“It was a surprise!”

“Well it was a good surprise, I just wish we could have met up… but… where did you get that hoodie?”

“I wanted to get a jersey, but I couldn’t get it in time… so I made it.”

“I could have gotten you one.” Tyson chuckled. “I just didn’t know you would be needing it so soon. But you know I love seeing my name on you. AHHH I can’t believe you were here! Next time you do that though, will you tell me first?”

It was AJ’s turn to not be able to keep composure, and get excited. “Hey uh… you know how you’re back in St. Louis next week Saturday? So am I.”

Tyson got quiet. AJ could tell the gears were already turning in his head.

Chapter 19: https://brainrattlers.tumblr.com/post/693990316680904704/play-it-cool-tyson-jost-19n

[elxsticlxve]

Hows’ my portrayal;-- 

{ooc} @queensconquest inquired;--  I really like seeing your portrayal! I think you do a really good job at highlighting what drives him in any particular scenario, which can be hard to to. I also think his dialogue is really well written. I love that nod towards how you said the different card symbols represent different meanings in his words/intentions. Your writing and your portrayal are very engaging and I can't wait to see more of the interactions between Chrollo & Hisoka !

≺ooc≻    

asdf Thank you so much! ;;//u//;

I’m really, really glad you’ve been enjoying my portrayal of the nasty man so far and I appreciate the kind words very, very much. I’ve put a lot of thought into his dialog and thought process (which is one reason why it takes me so long to reply) and I often worry that I might miss something or neglect an aspect of his motivations or intentions.  And yes! I’ve also put a lot of thought into what each symbol means and how I personally want to use them when I write, and I’d like to share another one right now if I may! I use ♣ when he’s being playful or mocking someone. His tone might be playful or he may not be taking what’s being said to him seriously. Or, he might not have even acknowledged what was said to him in the first place. As I said before they can have multiple meanings so just because I use ♣ it won’t mean he’s being snarky 100 percent of the time. I think there’s a lot of fun in the mystery and I want my writing partners to have their own ideas and even takes on what he has to say just like real life. We all translate tone differently and its what makes conversations with others unique.  ‘Is he lying to me? or is he just being blunt? Is he mocking my muse or is he just stating a fact?” Real life conversations can go like that some time. And I also 100 percent don’t mind clarifying if any of my writing partners need me to of course.

AND YES I also can’t wait for these two to get into more trouble-- it’s just so exciting!

[almostjollyprince]

100ish days of productivity: The beginning?

So, while I am claiming to go for the 100 days of productivity, I know for a fact that 100 straight days of productivity will burn me out. This'll be more like... 150 days with a mix of productivity and breaks. Remember to take breaks often!

Day 0/100 - Jan 1 2024 A day of planning. What are my goals? Why am I putting myself through this crap? Why on Tumblr? Am I sure I won't back out after Day 30?

To learn something new (music theory and music production). To improve and better myself (physical training and weight loss). To continue and finish what I've started and to make it the best that it can be (my various projects still being worked on).

Because if I don't hold myself accountable, who will? The wife probably won't. And because it'll be fun(?).

Why anywhere, really?

Not really, but I'm already here.

Day 1/100 - Jan 2 2024

First day of work of the new year. Why am I getting up so early? morning - arrived at the office. It's still dark out. I'm the first one of my group here, so I catch up on stuff from when I was on holiday. Prep the buddy schedule for everyone for the week. Grab the data I need for my quarterly evaluation. There's an interview today so I'll look over that individual's work history to prepare myself later. mid-morning - code with the juniors and help them out when they get stuck. They're a good crew to work with. Liveshared the code so that everyone's on the same page. Today's goal was to get some visuals to show when a button's pressed (we'll worry about functionality later). To avoid potential overlap, I containerized the dialog box into 3 separate components so that everyone had their own section to work on. Since we had a mock-up designed for how we wanted things to look, things go pretty smoothly. early afternoon - interview time. Let's see how they do. mid-afternoon - gave a progress report to the project lead. Visuals are maybe 60% done. We'll need to tweak things here and there and apply functionality but he's surprised we got a lot done on today. evening - study time. Bit of music theory, bit of certification study. I still need to finish the prep work for my D&D campaign that I run. That includes maps and a couple of puzzles. The concept's all there, I just need to mold it to my vision.

Do I wanna write these as status reports? I'll figure something out that best suits me as this progresses, but today is not that day.

[fandomgirlz01]

📽 Fic: Don’t Leave Me Pt. 1 Ask: Faith and Nat! Questions: What inspired it? Were there more/scenes you wanted but didn't fit and if so what? And lastly, why would you leave us on such a cliffhanger!?!?!?! (jkjk i love it) Send you both hugs!💚

Blooper Friday Week One

Answered: Sat 23rd 2023 ✔️

My sweet sweet Kaylee, thank you so much for participating in Blooper Friday. It means the world to both of us. I'll probably have more to say then Nat will about most of these, but I will definitely include her on here. Also we are so sorry this is getting posted late. I {Faith} who does most of the posting worked very late on Friday night and was unable to post this for you until now. 

{Faith} What inspired it? With that being said to be completely honest with you I don't fully remember what actually inspired this one, but I will say that when I first got the idea it was after I had been reading a lot of Marcus fics plus I was also like on my fifth rewatch of The Mentalist so it was a little bit of probably both. Honestly this one was just an original idea that I got just out of the blue and a lot of my Marcus ones will be ideas I just got out of the blue. Also Marcus is one of my many guilty pressure men 😂 and he happens to be in a lot of my daydreams, and I daydream a LOT 😂 so it's really just my brain conjuring things up lol.

{Faith} Were there more/scenes you wanted but didn't fit and if so what? For part one there weren't really any scenes we cut, because it just flowed really. I mean there was definitely some dialog changed around to make it work better, but other than that part one really just wrote itself in a sense. Part two however definitely already has a scene I cut only because it didn't really fit as well as it just didn't flow with the attitude or "narrative" of the story. However, I will not be sharing that cut scene just yet, because well... It'll give a little bit of part 2 away and I wouldn't want to give much away for this one.

{Faith} And lastly, why would you leave us on such a cliffhanger!?!?!?! Honestly, it wasn't much of Nat's choice. I normally write and she just reads as she edits. So she gets just the same amount of shock as you guys do when she reads though and edits 😂. She always is leaving comments of her shock on the docs and it is just sometimes the absolute funniest thing ever (it's definitely a plus to have your best friend be your editor really). Also I love leaving people on the edge of their seats so a LOT of our fics you'll find cliffhangers. When we started this page we made a hard stopping point as well. We said each fic we wrote (or that I wrote...) we'd only write up to 5,000 to 6,000 words, only because I knew if I didn't have a hard stopping point I would write and write with no end in sight. So when I write I tend to write up to the 5,000 then me and Nat will discuss if we should keep it going in one part or separate it into different parts, more often or not they normally become more parts then one.

{Nat} As Faith said, I was just as surprised as you are to find a cliffhanger and I was just as upset 😂 But being editor has its perks as I usually get a sneak peek at the next part of the story. Cliffhangers are a fun little way for us to mess with the readers and keep them hooked. Also as Faith mentioned, sometimes we have to split up a story into multiple parts and don't have much choice but to end it in the middle of an intense scene. Trust me it'll be worth the wait.

Oh its always a good wait with me, I love to add in shock and awe factors to every story I write. I do love me so good angst 😂. Anyway, Thank you very much for being our very first Blooper Friday Kaylee, Lots of Love to you. Also 🤫 you didn't hear this from me, but I {Faith} will be posting pt. 5 to love uncovered very very soon so be on the look out guys 👀. If anyone else is interested in joining in on the next blooper Friday (this upcoming week) you can find a list of questions as well as our rules for this fun activity here. Or you can simply ask us a question from our A-Z here. Or even just ask us one of our many prompt get to know us questions here. We Look forward to hearing from you guys 🥰

[duckprintspress]

How to Edit an Over-Length Story Down to a Specific Word Count

One of the most wonderful things about writing as a hobby is that you never have to worry about the length of your story. You can be as self-indulgent as you want, make your prose the royalist of purples, include every single side story and extra thought that strikes your fancy. It’s your story, with no limits, and you can proceed with it as you wish.

When transitioning from casual writing to a more professional writing milieu, this changes. If you want to publish, odds are, you’ll need to write to a word count. If a flash fiction serial says, “1,000 words or less,” your story can’t be 1,025 and still qualify. If a website says, “we accept novellas ranging from 20,000 to 40,000 words,” your story will need to fall into that window. Even when you consider novel-length works, stories are expected to be a certain word count to fit neatly into specific genres - romance is usually around 80,000 words, young adult usually 50,000 to 80,000, debut novels usually have to be 100,000 words or less regardless of genre, etc. If you self-publish or work with a small press, you may be able to get away with breaking these “rules,” but it’s still worthwhile to learn to read your own writing critically with length in mind and learn to recognize what you do and do not need to make your story work - and then, if length isn’t an issue in your publishing setting, you can always decide after figuring out what’s non-essential to just keep everything anyway.

If you’re writing for fun? You literally never have to worry about your word count (well, except for sometimes in specific challenges that have minimum and/or maximum word counts), and as such, this post is probably not for you.

But, if you’re used to writing in the “throw in everything and the kitchen sink” way that’s common in fandom fanfiction circles, and you’re trying to transition only to be suddenly confronted with the reality that you’ve written 6,000 words for a short story project with a maximum word count of 5,000...well, we at Duck Prints Press have been there, we are in fact there right now, as we finish our stories for our upcoming anthology Add Magic to Taste and many of us wrote first drafts that were well over the maximum word count.

So, based on our experiences, here are our suggestions on approaches to help your story shorter...without losing the story you wanted to tell!

Cut weasel words (we wrote a whole post to help you learn how to do that!) such as unnecessary adverbs and adjectives, the “was ~ing” sentence structure, redundant time words such as “a moment later,” and many others.

When reviewing dialog, keep an eye out for “uh,” “er,” “I mean,” “well,” and other casual extra words. A small amount of that kind of language usage can make dialog more realistic, but a little goes a long way, and often a fair number of words can be removed by cutting these words, without negatively impacting your story at all.

Active voice almost always uses fewer words than passive voice, so try to use active voice more (but don’t forget that passive voice is important for varying up your sentence structures and keeping your story interesting, so don’t only write in active voice!).

Look for places where you can replace phrases with single words that mean the same thing. You can often save a lot of words by switching out phrases like “come back” for “return” and seeking out other places where one word can do the work of many.

Cut sentences that add atmosphere but don't forward the plot or grow your characters. (Obviously, use your judgement. Don't cut ALL the flavor, but start by going - I’ve got two sentences that are mostly flavor text - which adds more? And then delete the other, or combine them into one shorter sentence.)

Remove superfluous dialog tags. If it’s clear who’s talking, especially if it’s a conversation between only two people, you can cut all the he saids, she saids.

Look for places where you've written repetitively - at the most basic level, “ ‘hahaha,’ he laughed,” is an example, but repetition is often more subtle, like instances where you give information in once sentence, and then rephrase part or all of that sentence in the next one - it’s better to poke at the two sentences until you think of an effective, and more concise, way to make them into only one sentence. This also goes for scenes - if you’ve got two scenes that tend towards accomplishing the same plot-related goal, consider combining them into one scene.

Have a reason for every sentence, and even every sentence clause (as in, every comma insertion, every part of the sentence, every em dashed inclusion, that kind of thing). Ask yourself - what function does this serve? Have I met that function somewhere else? If it serves no function, or if it’s duplicative, consider cutting it. Or, the answer may be “none,” and you may choose to save it anyway - because it adds flavor, or is very in character for your PoV person, or any of a number of reasons. But if you’re saving it, make sure you’ve done so intentionally. It's important to be aware of what you're trying to do with your words, or else how can you recognize what to cut, and what not to cut?

Likewise, have a reason for every scene. They should all move the story along - whatever the story is, it doesn’t have to be “the end of the world,” your story can be simple and straightforward and sequential...but if you’re working to a word count, your scenes should still forward the story toward that end point. If the scene doesn’t contribute...you may not need them, or you may be able to fold it in with another scene, as suggested in item 6.

Review the worldbuilding you’ve included, and consider what you’re trying to accomplish with your story. A bit of worldbuilding outside of the bare essentials makes a story feel fleshed out, but again, a little can go a long way. If you’ve got lots of “fun” worldbuilding bits that don’t actually forward your plot and aren’t relevant to your characters, cut them. You can always put them as extras in your blog later, but they’ll just make your story clunky if you have a lot of them.

Beware of info-dumps. Often finding a more natural way to integrate that information - showing instead of telling in bits throughout the story - can help reduce word count.

Alternatively - if you over-show, and never tell, this will vastly increase your word count, so consider if there are any places in your story where you can gloss over the details in favor of a shorter more “tell-y” description. You don’t need to go into a minute description of every smile and laugh - sometimes it’s fine to just say, “she was happy” or “she frowned” without going into a long description of their reaction that makes the reader infer that they were happy. (Anyone who unconditionally says “show, don’t tell,” is giving you bad writing advice. It’s much more important to learn to recognize when showing is more appropriate, and when telling is more appropriate, because no story will function as a cohesive whole if it’s all one or all the other.)

If you’ve got long paragraphs, they’re often prime places to look for entire sentences to cut. Read them critically and consider what’s actually helping your story instead of just adding word count chonk.

Try reading some or all of the dialog out loud; if it gets boring, repetitive, or unnecessary, end your scene wherever you start to lose interest, and cut the dialog that came after. If necessary, add a sentence or two of description at the end to make sure the transition is abrupt, but honestly, you often won’t even need to do so - scenes that end at the final punchy point in a discussion often work very well.

Create a specific goal for a scene or chapter. Maybe it’s revealing a specific piece of information, or having a character discover a specific thing, or having a specific unexpected event occur, but, whatever it is, make sure you can say, “this scene/chapter is supposed to accomplish this.” Once you know what you’re trying to do, check if the scene met that goal, make any necessary changes to ensure it does, and cut things that don’t help the scene meet that goal.

Building on the previous one, you can do the same thing, but for your entire story. Starting from the beginning, re-outline the story scene-by-scene and/or chapter-by-chapter, picking out what the main “beats” and most important themes are, and then re-read your draft and make sure you’re hitting those clearly. Consider cutting out the pieces of your story that don’t contribute to those, and definitely cut the pieces that distract from those key moments (unless, of course, the distraction is the point.)

Re-read a section you think could be cut and see if any sentences snag your attention. Poke at that bit until you figure out why - often, it’s because the sentence is unnecessary, poorly worded, unclear, or otherwise superfluous. You can often rewrite the sentence to be clearer, or cut the sentence completely without negatively impacting your work.

Be prepared to cut your darlings; even if you love a sentence or dialog exchange or paragraph, if you are working to a strict word count and it doesn't add anything, it may have to go, and that's okay...even though yes, it will hurt, always, no matter how experienced a writer you are. (Tip? Save your original draft, and/or make a new word doc where you safely tuck your darlings in for the future. Second tip? If you really, really love it...find a way to save it, but understand that to do so, you’ll have to cut something else. It’s often wise to pick one or two favorites and sacrifice the rest to save the best ones. We are not saying “always cut your darlings.” That is terrible writing advice. Don’t always cut your darlings. Writing, and reading your own writing, should bring you joy, even when you’re doing it professionally.)

If you’re having trouble recognizing what in your own work CAN be cut, try implementing the above strategies in different places - cut things, and then re-read, and see how it works, and if it works at all. Sometimes, you’ll realize...you didn’t need any of what you cut. Other times, you’ll realize...it no longer feels like the story you were trying to tell. Fiddle with it until you figure out what you need for it to still feel like your story, and practice that kind of cutting until you get better at recognizing what can and can’t go without having to do as much tweaking.

Lastly...along the lines of the previous...understand that sometimes, cutting your story down to a certain word count will just be impossible. Some stories simply can’t be made very short, and others simply can’t be told at length. If you’re really struggling, it’s important to consider that your story just...isn’t going to work at that word count. And that’s okay. Go back to the drawing board, and try again - you’ll also get better at learning what stories you can tell, in your style, using your own writing voice, at different word counts. It’s not something you’ll just know how to do - that kind of estimating is a skill, just like all other writing abilities.

As with all our writing advice - there’s no one way to tackle cutting stories for length, and also, which of these strategies is most appropriate will depend on what kind of story you’re writing, how much over-length it is, what your target market is, your characters, and your personal writing style. Try different ones, and see which work for you - the most important aspect is to learn to read your own writing critically enough that you are able to recognize what you can cut, and then from that standpoint, use your expertise to decide what you should cut, which is definitely not always the same thing. Lots of details can be cut - but a story with all of the flavor and individuality removed should never be your goal.

Contributions to this post were made by @unforth, @jhoomwrites, @alecjmarsh, @shealynn88, @foxymoley, @willablythe, and @owlishintergalactic, and their input has been used with their knowledge and explicit permission. Thanks, everyone, for helping us consider different ways to shorten stories!