#writing this at 4 am because i can’t sleep boo

[midnightorchids]

Jason likes to read after patrol every night.

He has a routine, he’ll strip his gear, kiss your forehead, shower and have a quick bite to eat. Then, he’ll make a steaming cup of valerian tea and get into bed with you, with his current read in hand.

Most nights, Jason reads to himself, quiet and tucked into his side of the bed, careful not to wake you with any sudden movements.

He’ll read until his eyelids feel heavy, until his fingers become weak, unable to carry the weight of the book. Jason reads until his mind no longer registers the words on the yellowing pages of the old paperback.

When exhaustion slowly takes over his body, he’ll delicately place his bookmark into the novel. He’ll put it to the side and then snuggle further into the sheets with you.

Jason will pull your sleeping figure close to his, unable to stay away and his hands will make their way around your body. He’ll gently whisper sweet nothings into your ear, well aware that you cannot hear him. Then, he’ll let his sleep wash over him.

But there are some nights when Jason reads to you.

On nights where you struggle to find sleep, you stay up until he makes his way home from patrol. He’ll do his routine as if he’s on autopilot, almost robotic. Kiss, shower, eat and then into the bed with you and his book.

This time though, he’ll read out loud to you. His voice husky and laced with fatigue, lulling you to sleep. Your head lies against his bare chest and his fingers trace comforting shapes on your skin underneath your shirt.

Once he finds you dozing off, Jason will softly peck your forehead and continue to read to himself, until sleep finds him and takes over his body.

[ovaryacted]

hey love!! i was thinking about number 53 with childhood bestfriend!Leon ??

also i loveeeee your writing omg you are sooo talented !!! <3 xoxo

Hey boo!! Thank you for requesting! I think it's crazy I haven't written anything about childhood best friend! Leon when that's the cutest fucking thing ever omg. For this one, I imagine RE2 Leon for the most part in age and appearance, just some very cute fluff with brief pining so I hope you like this because I really had fun writing this out! For context, there's no Racoon City or trauma, just a normal timeline, and Leon lives in Boston in a house where the reader can climb up to his bedroom window from the backyard. And thank you for saying you like my writing, really made my day. :) [ prompt game ]

#53 - "Who crawls through someone’s window at 4 am to go for ice cream?” PAIRING: Childhood best friend! Leon x reader [cw: Fluff, childhood history, little bit of pining] - 1.1k words

Leon was fast asleep in his bed, tucked nicely into his fluffy navy sheets face down in a pillow with drool slipping out of his mouth. He could hear some rattling coming from his window, the noise beginning to stir him from his slumber as he opened his eyes. Disorientated and groggy, he sat up in bed, hair a complete mess and rubbing at the corners of his eyes as he woke up.

Ears perking up to the sound of consistent tapping on the glass of his window, he looked in the direction he heard it, spotting a silhouette that was all too familiar to him. There you were, right on the roof of his bedroom window, the same way you’ve done so many times it became second nature to you. With a sigh and a roll of his eyes, he moved towards you, lifting the window to let you inside.

“Do you know what time it is?”, Leon grumbled, running his fingers through his hair to put it back in place but knowing he there was no point.

“It’s like 4 am, why?”, you said it to him as if it were nothing, offering a teasing grin.

“Some of us actually need to sleep. We can’t all be vampires like you”, he said to you, crossing his arms over his chest as he saw you go towards his bed, flopping onto it as if were your own.

“I couldn’t sleep and I was bored. So I came to bother you”, you replied, closing your eyes and exhaling a deep breath.

“At 4 in the damn morning?”, you gave him a playful shrug, finding enjoyment in his slight irritation. Even if Leon sounded like he was angry, you knew he wasn’t. He could never be mad at you even if he tried.

This wasn’t something out of the ordinary for either of you. Both you and Leon had known each other for so long that anything considered strange to others was seemingly defined as standard in the bubble that was your friendship. It all started with a funny instance at the age of 5, finding Leon on the playground during recess in kindergarten. Curiosity drew you to the young blonde that sat by himself, doodling in a coloring book on one of the picnic tables.

You sat on the opposite side of him, simply watching as he colored in the drawing haphazardly. You didn’t say anything to him, and he didn’t say anything to you, but the both of you developed a form of silent communication. Sometimes, you would draw along with him, silently of course, and rarely, you got lucky and Leon would give you one of his crayons. It became a routine where you both sat at the same table, at the same time, simply sharing a space with each other in a way you both understood.

Until one Thursday, you didn’t come to school because you were out sick. Leon was at his usual spot, at the picnic table with his coloring book, looking for you and wondering where you went. When he couldn’t find any sign of you, he moped for the rest of the day, his mother wondering what had her son in such a weird mood.

When you came back to school the next day, you met with Leon again at the same table, sitting in front of him with the toothy smile you usually wore.

“Where did you go?”, he asked you, speaking to you for the first time since you started to sit with him two weeks ago.

“Got a booboo”, you told him, lifting the sleeve of your shirt to show him the Batman bandaid you had stuck to your skin. His eyes widened the slightest bit, somehow fascinated by the intricate pattern of the adhesive material on your shoulder.

“Woah. Cool!”, and for the first time, you saw Leon’s smile, noticing how he was missing one of his front teeth.

He passed you a piece of paper, watching as you unfolded it to see what it was. It was from yesterday, a stick drawing of you and Leon that he had made when you weren’t here. You cherished that piece of paper as if it were the Monalisa, and when you showed it to your dad the minute you got home, you excitedly told him you had made a friend.

You two have been attached to the hip ever since. From elementary school to high school prom and starting college, you’ve done it all together. And now, here you both were, young adults exploring the world with an unbreakable bond. Some people would pay to have a life connection like that, and it was something neither of you took for granted.

“Can you tell me now why you decided to wake me up this early and didn’t just text me?”, Leon caught how you were wearing one of the many hoodies you had stolen from him. He gave it to you once a few years ago when you were cold, and you never gave it back. Not that he complained, he’d buy as many hoodies as he’d like just so you could steal them later.

“I wanted ice cream, thought you might want to tag along”, you were mischievous, always teasing and bubbly no matter the time of day. 

“Who crawls through someone’s window at 4 am to go for ice cream?”, he scoffed at you, thinking this was all unbelievable to him when in reality you were very much in character.

“I do smartass. Are you coming or not? We could go get Dairy Queen, I know you like their sundaes”, you suggested, kicking your feet at the edge of Leon’s bed, already knowing he was going to say yes regardless of the time.

“Fine. But you’re buying me lunch tomorrow for waking me up this damn early”, he sighed, admitting his defeat to your schemes. 

“Yeah yeah, grumpy pants. Now go clean yourself up, you have some drool on your cheek”, you said back, hearing Leon chuckle under his breath as he went to the bathroom to freshen up before heading out.

You were his best friend, someone he cherished and wanted in his life for as long as he could have you. He’d do anything for you, absolutely anything you asked or wanted he got for you because all he wants is to see you smile. It’s even better if he’s the reason why you smiled, entranced by the way your cheeks perked up ever since he first saw it when you were kids. If only you knew what he was willing to do to make sure you smiled so much your face grew sore.

Whatever you wanted, you got, because he wants you happy. So long as he was the reason why, that's all that mattered to him.

©️ ovaryacted 2024. Please don’t repost, copy, translate, or feed into any AI. Support your fellow creators by reblogging, commenting, and liking!

[brenninthetaylorverse]

I know most of you probably forgot about it but I haven't and I want to keep my promises so guess what! I'm bearing my soul to you people and today I'll finally be giving all the details of my album, melodramatic.

@dandelions-fly-in-summer-skies I'm gonna @ you in some more of my music like new songs because this is not my best work lol

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album cover:

*the original image isn't mine, I literally got it off the internet and I never plan on releasing this, making an album cover and all of this is for fun*

tracklist:

1. the movement

2. crying in my bed at 3 am on a rainy tuesday

3. gospel

4. places i’ve seen before

5. people lie.

6. take another breath

7. long pause

8. my dreams aren’t real but my demons are

9. honey take your meds

10. is my family ashamed of me?

11. drama queen

the three songs (I had a few that has the same number so I get to choose on those lol PLEASE DO NOT JUDGE MY WRITING)

1. my dreams aren't real but my demons are

Sitting in my room on a regular day, wasting my life away. I think blue light is seeping into my brain. I don’t do anything anymore. I don’t even see my friends. And my room is dirty, I wish my Mom was here to bug me to clean it. And he said “You’ll be fine on your own.” Oh, but he was so wrong. 

My dreams aren’t real. Sitting here wishing I had some kinda physical appeal, even looking in the mirror hurts. What can you do when you're stuck in a body that doesn’t even love you? How did the brain name itself and why is the brain so mean? And why is there a man dressed in all black outside my window, but only on Thursday nights? Because my dreams aren’t real, but my demons are. Getting into college, becoming famous, that’ll never happen but I can count on my sleep paralysis demon to be there when I need him. And it’s so sad because I’ve never hated myself more than I do now and they don’t care.

I can’t help but mope around, waiting for some big circus to roll into town. Maybe then I wouldn’t be the only clown. I get up on big stages, hoping every time will be different, but instead I get booed off. I’m not proud of my past and I hope this version of me doesn’t last. They say all I do is sing about the negative but what do they want me to do? Sing about rainbows and unicorns? I never will because I sing about what I feel.

Cause man, my dreams aren’t real. I can wish all I want for a big fancy house but come on, that’ll never happen. Cleverly hidden lyrics on the back of a cereal box. Whenever I’m at the doctor's office for the 7th time this month, all I do is stare at the clocks. I take 20 medicines a day and nothing can keep my demons away.

2. is my family ashamed of me (I am not suicidal I just want to preface)

They used to call me the good kid. They said to make sure I remember them when I get famous. They wanted some of my success. They wanted me to be somebody. And I can’t imagine dying without being famous. I want people other than my hometown to know my name. I want to be someone. Make a name. Get out of this town. And yet I’d be leaving behind everything I’ve ever known, till eventually I drown. In other words, in the fight for the crown. I’d come back and leave, do it all again and still not know where I want to be. 36, a crazy woman with a broken dream. Do I want that to describe me? 

What happens when you give all the time and never get anything back? Do you run out of gifts? Of things to give? All the birthdays, all the christmases. All the lost time yet I was there. Do they hear the whispers about me? The grocery store, the gas station, in the eyes of the people who saw me grow up. I was gonna do great things but sitting here, I got one question. Is my family ashamed of me?

Would all the problems be fixed if I wasn’t born. If I never existed. Would they be happier, nicer, richer? What would it be? Give me a genie and I’ll waste my wishes and give me all the money in the world and I’ll be gone. Is my family ashamed of me? And it’s not my fault, I’ve been thinking ‘bout death. Can’t help but question this whole big thing, said no when you proposed with your dollar tree ring. I can never ask for help, I’m embarrassed when I see someone I know in public. And I hate driving slow, but I love having somewhere to go.

3. drama queen (this song has a few taylor references, whoever can point them all out gets a cookie)

I wish that you could go and unsay all those things you said that day. I wish I could undo all my actions and the reckless driving I did on the way. I know I’m partly to blame, I know that you always curse when you say my name. I think I know everything, but I’m just a dumb teenage girl trying to make her way. Do you think when I showed up to your party that was when I ruined everything? Do you think that my Mom is too pushy and she needs to stay in her lane? And why did you run away when I said those three words? All you had to do was stay. 

I know you say I’m a drama queen. I know you say I think I know everything. But I thought you cared. I thought you liked it when I did that dare. I thought you were gonna comfort me when I cried, but you left me. If I died, would you attend my wake? Would you care if I threw it all away for the sake of our relationship? What if your future was in the bend, would you leave me then? Are you waiting for the moment to strike when it hurts the worst then leave my life speeding, while I’m forced to slowly follow the hearse? 

I convinced myself that you were a brick wall and I was the sledgehammer. Breaking you down and fixing you back up but like usual, I was wrong. You are my David, I am Michelangelo. You wanted the world and I wanted you, we are not equal. I wanted you so bad that suddenly, I didn’t want you at all. What happens when you’ve been fighting for years but suddenly you lose sight of what you’re fighting for? 

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so that's that. also I put most of my lyrics in paragraphs so if you don't read it all, I don't mind lol. enjoy my friends.

[pleadingforattention]

Since the Given dub came out recently, I'm going to post my thoughts from when I watched the sub for the first time (this was about April 2020):

As a warning, there will be minimal consistency when I refer to characters as it took me nearly the entire anime to remember their names. My comments are also very vague... Have fun :p

1.

The dog.. adorable

Oh it's sub. Okay I can vibe with this

Oh boo you look so sad

"I'm not lonely" who are you kidding. Lowkey what a mood tho

~DePrEsSiOn NaPs~

This dude really just be sleeping on the school stairs, huh?

Of course he knows how to fix the guitar

Kageyama and Hinata look great together

Bitch you sacrificed your own nap time to help this bitch

Oh my god! TSuki

Blond Asahi too!!

Of course the one with piercings is the drummer

What a great sibling relationship depicted here

Ginger Boy be depresso

'Where's he sneaking off to?' 'Somewhere gay probably'

He just looks scary.

So he's just in the band now?

BING

The silent conversations between Kaji and Ponytail are great

Ooo THIS IS PRETTY (and so are they tbh)

Yama really be holding this entire relationship (?) together huh

Boy get back to practice

Ue really said gay confusion

His fingers are bandaged 🥺

Sato really went "It was perfect but,, it didn't have you"

2.

Episode 2 really be breaking out the L word

Sato really said "am babey"

These boys have no right being this pretty

SOMEONE JUST HUGGED SATO IN THE OPENING PRECIOUS

((my friend just laughed when I told her. I'm scared))

Sato is literally just the audience. No idea what's going, wants to learn an instrument now, in love with Eunoyama

Friend 1: skipping basketball again? Friend 2: *points to Sato, smiling* Friend 1: alright then

Further confirming Sato is me: doesn't know anyone's name

This boy really is clueless.

NO. Kaji, you get back here and say what's on your mind 😠

Haru that's adorable. Great job, sweetie

Euno has gay confusion/rage. Haru has gay panic

*casual ripped Kaji*

Motorcyclist, fancy waiter, AND security guard?? Whoever he ends up with is one lucky dude

SATO seems unapproachable? That CHILD? That precious bean??

I'm sensing Yama's picking up on the angst I shouldn't know about yet 👀

OH NO HE FROWN :(

*gay glitter floats while singing*

oh my he cry :'(

3.

This whole "I'm not lonely" thing is going to be a trope isn't it? I'm going to end up crying because of it, aren't I?

Oh we starting sad huh? Okay, FINE.

Oo, Haru jealous

I love that they know he's in love before he does

The audacity Sato possesses sometimes

OH SHIT KAJI DUMPED YAYOI

Yama is too precious with his WikiHow article

Yama has fallen hard

Sweater Haru? Absolutely. Plain button up Kaji? Maybe not...

Kenma's here too!

Trauma! Trauma! Trauma!

Oh god no the phone call

(Theory: the poor boy has cried so much he can't anymore)

When people tell you you look like you aren't thinking about anything and they're right but it's only to stop the tears haha am I right guys

Gay rage. That's it.

I'm sorry. A capella singing is not for me. He's beautiful but this is so cringey

He's trying so hard, aw

4.

Yama's writing a love sooonnngg

~And he can only be awakened by true love shouting his name across the entire room

Sato's smug ass smirk. Yama's whipped folks

I've never seen so many cinnamon rolls act so threatening before

Yama looks into the frickin camera my lord

Haru's ugly shoes match his guitar case 🙄

Yama just wants to see his baby happy

His contact photo for Sato is his pupper 🥺

Sato really is clueless. He must be protected

Oh chickie's friend about to spill some tea

5.

Haru has amazing hair. Good for him :)

This is the first time I saw the lyrics for the opening. Nooo

Bro that's gay

Haru I feel omg awww

Oop flashback 👀

Saaaaammme Haru. Kaji be fine as hell

I'm waiting for something bad to happen to Kaji. Or some sort of shoe to drop. This is all going too well

Oh no 2 mugs

Oh NO a brunette

Yama is always asleep

Haru is definitely getting drunk on purpose

Drunk actions are sober thoughts

"MEH. TOO MUCH WORK."

Haru got cock blocked by alcohol being alcohol lol

*Cue cute montage of band bonding

(They're always showing airplanes in the sky. Is this some sort of symbolism?)

THIS MF BITCH JUST OUTED HIM. HOW RUDE 🤬

I didn't know it was his bf 😥 I thought it was his brother

Don't get involved with him. Ya couldn't have told him that before he fell head over heels for his oblivious ass ??

6.

Oh no, him.

Akaashi is here now too

Kaji really said Sato's the soft uwu to their hard core owo

~That's called love bromo~

Oh biTCH HE KNOWS EXACTLY HOW YOU FEEL

Haru doesn't even know the storm he just released by saying 'relationship'

Sato just accidentally got dark very quickly.

That dog is so fine being left all alone. Suspicious.

We walking down memory lane

I'm getting real sad on memory lane and nothing's happened yet.

"I'm not lonely" but this time it hits different; it's like he actually believes it this time

Cud-dle! Cud-dle! Cud-dle!

Yama casually dies

Gee, I wonder what his lyrics could be 🤔 ? Totally not the credits or whatever. Absolutely not

(I took a break bc I was tired and it was 2am)

7.

Oo yes the Kaji background I've been waiting for

Haru really is like Asahi, precious

They sure do love their vending machine beverages.

One hit K.O.

Yama asking Kaji, who is openly bi, if there's something wrong with him for liking a guy is too precious

Is Sato falling more in love or is his heart breaking? I can't tell at this point

*awkward cartoon accordion music plays*

Just when I think we're never going to get back to Kaji, here we go

Ngl Mysterious Brunet is kinda cute. Good for Kaji

When you need a hug so bad and someone finally gives you one

8.

Sato's little sweater tucked into his jeans aww

We haven't actually seen Yuki yet, have we?

I cannot tell if Kaji's home life is flashbacks or real. I am confused and intrigued

They've ramped up the number of slow, dramatic montages. Stuff's getting serious

This is awkward...

YES SATO!! FEEL YOUR FEELS

Why does Kashima need to be forgiven? What did he know??

No Sato!! 😢 (no wonder he said he didn't have a dad)

A whole ass episode. Give me the damn performances!!!

9.

This episode better be amazing or gay I stg

Haru really came in here being like 'Broken strings happen all the time? Fix it and let's move on. C'mon guys'

I'm waiting for Sato to just bust out some spectacular vocals from nowhere and everyone will be Shook™ (especially Yama)

(When replacing guitar strings, do you have to replace them all at the same time? That seems wasteful but I understand why one would)

Sato is so soft but he is so b r o a d

YES. BE SHOOK

Kaji's little smile of approval :')

No I did not have to pause to restrain from crying. What? Who would do that? Certainly not me 😳

*finishes singing a song about his dead bf* *immediately gets kissed but new love interest*

"I'm not lonely"

So our precious little cinnamon roll isn't so innocent after all

10.

Oh she having a breakdown fellas. She cutting her haiiirrrr

Rewind??

He did a damn rewind for his own life! Aha

At least she had someone's hand to hold. He was up there all alone

Music video! Music video!

Sure you will. Just leave after stopping in. Totally won't stay any longer

JUST FIVE MORE MINUTES

Yama said 'I may not have been your first but would you mind me being your last?'

Oh my god this was the first time he felt like he was allowed to talk. Without being hurt. Or reprimanded. Or any consequences. I need to give this poor boy a hug 😭

Sato being so blunt is perfect ("my dead boyfriend's mom..." so casually)

Kaji is such a Dad I love him

Oop is Kenma gay for Akaashi ? 👀 (or vice versa. Probably more vice versa)

Not a fan of Mysterious Brunet -_-

Yama's a simp

Yama is WHIPPED by this boy

Sato may be quiet but he certainly knows what he wants

Oh shit the L word already?

11.

Yama kissed him and he's shocked that he likes him back?

This whole 'internal dialogue' thing is great

Haru and Kaji: dating within the band is a big no-no, huh Yama: oh no but I <3 Sato Haru and Kaji, also: sexual tension whomst?

Everyone babies Sato

The winter coats are so extra

They are not a serious band. Of course that was a bad idea.

Does his stylist friend,, not know??

Give me your hand. It's dangerous.

Haru . Wants a, girlfriend? Oh? (Boys are a pain tho, I feel)

I want more?? How did Yuki die? Is Kaji dating Brunet or is he really just a roommate? Can Haru and Kaji just get together already??

~~

Congrats on making it to the end of this mess! Remember how I said I couldn't remember any of their names? This was the key I used while I was watching:

{Sato-ginger, Eunoyama-Tobio, Kaji-piercings, Haruki-ponytail, Yayoi-sister}

Needless to say I've learned a lot about this show since I wrote this. I'm excited to see how the dub turned out!

[xoxo-teddybear]

He’s Lost - Bakugou Katsuki - Part 2

Bakugou x f!reader

Warnings: angst, slightest fluff, cursing, physical harm mentions, lowkey little yandere obsessive hints, smut, 18+, daddy kink, sad boi Bakugou    :(

BAKUGOU’S MASTERLIST

Summary: Bakugou’s been going through hell ever since the breakup. He’s been so lost without you. But he’s willing to do whatever it takes to win back his Teddy bear. Everything and anything for the love of his life.

*Everyone is of age for legal consent (which is 16 in Japan, if you are uncomfortable with it please move along, thx<3)*

A/N: Bakugou is a little OOC but the main thing in the beginning starts with fixing up Katsuki a little bit. So sorry if you don’t really enjoy it all that much<3

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

Melancholy music bounces off the walls of the dark room. The river of tears that flow down his once perfect porcelain skin is everlasting. As he lays in the soft bed, staring at the ceiling, he thinks about all he could’ve done better for you. In his hand, the same framed picture of you both that he’s held onto every night ever since the horrible incident. Y/N L/N. Like a song that’s stuck on loop. It’s the only thing that runs through his mind.

The door swiftly opens, and much to his disliking, a massive amount of light now enters the former den of manliness pit of depression.

To show his displeasure, Bakugou rolled himself in the blankets, covering his entire body in them and being the picture inside with him as well. With different circumstances, Y/N would’ve thought it was cute or adorable, but it wasn’t Y/N that opened the door.

“Really Bakubro?” The blonde’s best friend spoke.

Eijirou Kirishima. The best friend of our dearest sad boy. He’s been letting his Bakubro crash in his dorm room because Katsuki refuses to clean his own. It looks exactly the same as it did on Valentine’s Day. Just a little different.

Rose petals were dead and dried up on his floors, candles were nearly melted to the bottom as they lay everywhere in the room, the curry was thankfully thrown out by Kirishima claiming that he could smell the spoiled aroma all the way from his room. But the presents, letter, and new gear stayed in the exact same spots. Bakugou didn’t feel worthy enough to be blessed with all the stuff but he was oh so desperate to be worthy. Worthy of your time, your love, and you in general.

Bakugou let out a grumbled whine of displeasure. He could feel the disappointment and concern radiating off his friend. As Katsuki poked just his face out of the covers, he was met with the expression that represented those two things.

“You can’t keep living like this bro,” Kirishima began, “You can’t keep hallowing in sadness in my room. I wanna help you, but you gotta help yourself too. Ever since you and Y/N split-“ Bakugou quickly interrupted.

“We didn’t split, she left me!” The blonde cried.

“...Right, okay. Well ever since Y/N left you, you’re not the same. You stay in here, playing the same damn sad tunes, covering yourself in my blankets, crying all day, and holding onto that picture! You haven’t even been to class or training! Shit man, you don’t even come out of my room to eat food! I gotta bring your plate here just to make sure that you’re properly fed. You’re a mess Bakugou. And not even the hot kind!” His best friend was right. He was a mess. And not even the hot kind.

“Well what the hell am I supposed to do shitty hair?” Bakugou said while dragging the covers over his face once more. Inside the blanket he held onto the picture as if it were actually you.

The fake red head snatched the covers off of his friend’s body and forced him up.

The said friend didn’t take too kindly to that and growled in displeasure.

“What the fuck Kirishima,” Bakugou said, a little to calm and chilling.

“Dont give me that bull Katsuki. You gotta get her back. I would say move on, but it’s clear you can’t.” Kirishima said while rolling his eyes.

Bakugou mirrored the action and said “yea no shit genius. I can’t and won’t move on.”

“So then go get her man!” Kirishima yelled

“And how the fuck am I supposed to do that? Huh?!” Bakugou was so confused. In what way was it going to be possible to win you back?

“Figure it out! Look Bakugou, I’ll be here to help you along the way, but you gotta figure this shit out on your own. This is your relationship here, if you want it as bad as you claim you do then prove it. You want Y/N back? Then fight for her, idiot!” The blonde’s eyes seemed to go wide.

Two words stuck out to Katsuki during his friend’s little speech. Prove it. Fuck yeah he will! He’ll prove to the whole damn universe how much he wants you back. More importantly, he’ll prove it to you and win you back.

The iconic Bakugou smirk reappeared on Katsuki’s face. Kirishima took it as a good sign. “Alright shitty hair, you want me to prove how badly I want Y/N back. FINE!” The two friends pulled the iconic bro hug to seal the deal.

(You know? That shit that guys do where they high five and pull each other in with that one hand for the quickest hug and pat each other on the back? You know what I’m talking about.)

“Welcome back Katsuki.” Kirishima gladly stated. “Now get the fuck out of my room man, I’m sick of sleeping on the common room couches and you reek. Take a shower. And get your own clothes from your own room.”

As Kirishima pushed him out into the hallway and shut the door, it hit Bakugou like a bus. This would be Katsuki’s first challenge. Going back into the room filled with the torn love.

As Katsuki opened the door holding onto the picture, he felt his heart sink. He saw the damage. Melted candles, dried petals, the gifts and letter. Even the nasty smell of the spoiled curry still remained. As Katsuki gathered the courage to walk in and place the picture on the messy nightstand, it’s like the room was holding onto some sad emotions. Heartache and regret filled Katsuki’s chest. He couldn’t believe how fast it happened. He thought he would at least have a minute or two before he felt the pain again. Man, did it hurt like hell.

Katsuki dashed to his closet grabbing the first things he saw. He grabbed his shower container that held all his soaps and cleaning utensils and ran out the room, shutting the door. Once out, he let out a breath of relief.

“...after I clean myself up, the room’s next.” Katsuki said with determination as he walked towards the boy’s community showers and bath house.

When the hot water hit his skin, he felt a sense of calm. It wasn’t the same as the warmth of Kirishima’s blankets. It was better. The water and hot steam completely engulfed him in relaxation. The water washed away not only the dirt and grime, but also some of the tense feelings. For a moment, he felt at ease.

As Katsuki walked out the bathing area now fully clothed and dried, he made his way back to his room. He stood there, staring at the knob until he felt he was ready. Once he opened the door, the emotions hit him once again. Like a wave of sadness washed over his entire body. Finally, he stepped in.

First things first. Open up these windows. Let out that disgusting air filled with spoiled curry and sad emotions. When Katsuki took a breath a fresh air, he felt so alive. Much better than he has in days.

Now, we gotta move stuff. Katsuki picked up his dirty laundry and put it in his closet to wash later. He moved all his presents up off the floor and onto the bed. He swepted all the dead petals and toss them in his trash can. He threw out all the ruined candles and sprayed the room with air fresheners. He fixed up his bed and placed the picture frame back on his now cleaned nightstand. Next to it, a lit candle that smelled of caramel.

Katsuki took a seat at his desk. He was back to thinking about Y/N and all that he could do to win her back. As he checked his clock, he realized just how late it was. Kirishima came back to him at the end of class and training which was around 6. He spent an hour talking to Katsuki, and then Katsuki spent 4 hours cleaning himself and his room. It was 11:00 now. Way past his usual bed time. He’ll figure things out in the morning.

Katsuki smiled to himself as he layed in his own bed. He was finally on the right track again and one step closer to getting his teddy bear back. He turned to the picture frame, and grabbed onto it, hugging it while he slept. Katsuki was getting better but he wasn’t whole again. He needed Y/N to help him sleep alright, so holding the picture at night will have to do. He couldn’t wait till he woke up in the morning. Tomorrow he had school, he’ll get to see Y/N’s beautiful face for the first time in awhile, but before that, you bet your ass he’s waking up extra early to come up with a plan.

——————————————————————————

The next morning

*BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *click!*

The blonde smacked his alarm button before he rose up and stretched his body. Today was the day. He’s gets to see Y/N again. Bakugou just sits in place staring at nothing. Just taking 2 minutes to regain full consciousness. Once he’s set, he’s up and getting ready. It’s 4 in the morning now, so he begins to strategize.

Katsuki is pulling out easels and white boards. Pulling out notebooks and writing down facts. What Y/N is interested in, her favorite hobbies and foods, where she likes to spend her time, what she could need help with that Bakugou could assist her with. He’s also writing down the highlights of their relationship and what she seemed to enjoy best about him. He’ll be keeping that as a reference for when he needs to reassess on how he should treat her better. He will do better this time. That’s a promise to himself and you.

After half an hour of slightly struggling, he reaches out for help. Now at 4:30 a.m, here was the blonde knocking at his best friend’s door.

Rock music is blasting, sweat is flying everywhere and punches are being thrown at a hero. Not just any hero, Crimson Riot! As Kirishima continues to spar with his idol, he’s interrupted by a banging sound.

*BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM*

“The hell?” The younger red head says. Soon his idol began to fade away.

“Crimson Riot! Hey are you okay sir?!” But it was too late, the man was gone. Now the whole room was waving around. Did Kirishima accidentally mistake his giant jug of water for vodka or something? Soon he was left in nothing but a black abyss. And then....he fell!

“Shitty hair.....Ei....KIRISHIMA!”

“AH!” The red head screamed as he shot up from the bed, head-butting his best friend right then and there. Great, a perfect dream. Ruined.

“Ah, shit!” Bakugou said in pain as he held his now throbbing forehead. “What the fuck?”

“That’s my line Bakugou,” the red head sighed, “Did you break into my room? Jeez man, what the fuck? What are you doing here at.....4:38 a.m?!?!? DUDE!”

“I know, my bad okay? But..I could use some help.” Bakugou whispered the last part so Kirishima had no idea what this man just said.

“What bro?” Kirishima asked.

“I said....I could use some help.” The blonde repeated.

“C’mon man, you’re gonna have to speak u-“

“I need your help, alright?!” Bakugou finally said. Kirishima sighed. His bro really couldn’t wait until later?

“Bakugou, you know I’m always down to help you out but this is too early man. Can we just-“ the blonde quickly added on to what he was previously saying.

“Please.”

Kirishima’s eyes shot open after he closed them to drift off back to sleep. Did the Katsuki Bakugou just ask for help by saying please? This must be extremely important.

“......alright. You got me, I’m up. But if I’m gonna be up at 4 in the morning, others are gonna be helping us too.” Kirishima bargained.

“But-“ Kirishima cut him off

“But nothing. Besides, I’m drowsy in the morning so I wouldn’t really focus all that well. And we’re just going to the people we can trust.” The red head explained.

“Fine.” The blonde gave in. So there they went, gathering the other members of the Bakusquad (minus Y/N) to help Bakugou win back his girl.

As the 4 sleepy heads sat down on Bakugou’s floor infront of the whiteboard he wrote on, The blonde began to explain some of his plans.

“So I was thinking of treating her real nice all day until she takes me back and we become friends again, eventually leading to our relationship, but then I realized she’d be into a fake me and we all know I can’t pull the nice guy act forever. Then I thought I’d spoil her with all of the things she desires, but money can’t buy you love. So I thought I could-“ Katsuki quickly noticed the long period of silence other than his voice.

There, were his 4 friends sleeping in a dog pile in the middle of his dorm room floor, completely ignoring everything he’s been saying.

Bakugou sighed and grabbed a small “heroes weekly” issue sitting on his desk, rolled it up, and wacked his friends in their heads.

“You idiots...WAKE THE FUCK UP!” Ahh, welcome back Gremlin Bakugou.

As his friends came back from the dead, they all complained.

“Aww c’mon Bakugou. We’ve been at this for an hour already, it’s 5:40.” Sero said while yawning.

“I don’t care. You idiots offered to help so here you are.” Bakugou said while turning to face the board again.

“We didn’t offer shit!” The bakusquad simultaneously replied.

Mina let out a groan while rubbing her eyes open, “Look Bakugou. We really want you and Y/N to be happy together, we really do, but maybe it’s for the best if you guys don-“ Mina was cut off by Denki slapping his hand over her mouth.

As she looked at her electric friend, she saw a nervous expression on his face. She followed his gaze and saw the back of an angry and almost insane looking and shaking Bakugou.

Hearing Mina say that he should let Y/N go triggered something in his brain. But hearing her say they wanted the couple back together enlightened him too. His mind got the two mixed up.

‘Everyone wants us back together. Not just me. So...then we are back together. Yeah. Y/N is still mine’ the now insane blonde thought to himself.

“....Ok well, time to go, get some sleep, see you idiots in the morning!” Bakugou said while pushing the group out of his room. Once they made it over the threshold, he slammed the door.

With an insane plan in mind, Bakugou checked the time and saw he could take at least a good hour long nap before he had to get ready to leave for school. And that’s exactly what he did. So he jumped into the covers, grabbing onto the picture and drifted off into sleep.

——————————————————————————

*BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *click!*

Bakugou’s alarm rang once more, and again, he slammed it shut. He stretched, got up outta bed and changed into his uniform. That power nap really well rested him, but it also must’ve fucked up his brain even more.

‘And now it’s time to go see my beautiful girlfriend,’ he thought to himself.

After Mina’s comments last night, it hit Bakugou with a great realization. Everyone wanted him and Y/N back together. Not just him. So why not give everybody what they want? Sure maybe Y/N might not completely want it but she’ll learn how to love Bakugou again. Everyone’s happy. And so, Bakugou was convinced that him and Y/N were back together.

At breakfast, Bakugou ran down to already see the Squad up and eating.

“Why the hell do you losers look like death?” He asked while grabbing a cup for his orange juice.

“Well we were all trying to sleep, but after what happened this morning, we couldn’t.” Mina explained.

“What happened this morning? There was nothing big except you guys helping me out.” Kirishima really couldn’t believe it. Had his dear friend not even notice his weird ass trigger moment earlier?

“Alright whatever. Anyway, wheres Y/N?” Bakugou asked after he finished his cup.

“Oh, she just left. She had an early breakfast and went for a quick walk.” Mina said.

“You planning on talking to her today Kacchan?” Denki questioned him.

“You damn Spark Plug, of course I’m gonna talk to my girlfriend today. Fucking idiot.” He said as he grabbed his bag and walked out the kitchen.

“.........Huh?” The entire squad was left in confusion.

‘Had they gotten back together this morning? Did she really accept him back that fast? What the fuck is going on?’ They all thought.

“WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?!?” Kaminari cried out as he pulled at and scruffled his hair in confusion.

Ah Denki. Always saying what everyone is thinking but the only one ballsy enough to idiotically say it aloud.

——————————————————————————

As she walked to class, Y/N hummed a little song to herself. She enjoyed her walk as it helped clear her mind from all the recent events. Her breakup with Bakugou really took a toll on her. They were together for almost 2 years (EVER SINCE JUNIOR HIGH) so of course the split hit her hard. He accused her of cheating and burned her. So much for trust, right? Not only that, but the burn left a tiny scar. Usually, due to you having a regeneration ability as part of your quirk, Phoenix, the scar should’ve healed up. Maybe the emotional damage caused it to permanently mark itself in you. Oh well, whats done is done. And now it’s time for class.

When you walked though the door, you were expecting a normal day. Ever since the split, you usually got their a lot earlier before anyone else so you could sit, do a little reading, sketch out a little drawing, or just rest your eyes until the bell rang. Except this time, when you opened the door, someone jumped on you for a hug.

“Babe! There you are you little dumbass. Jeez, I was looking for you everywhere.” Bakugou said as he let go of the hug. “I’ve missed you, haven’t seen you in a few days.”

“Uhm, you said babe??” You spoke with a confused and shocked voice.

“Yeah, I called you babe? So what? We always call each other that. You are my girlfriend after all.” He said so casually as he walked to his seat.

THISMANSAIDWHAATTT

“Uh, Bakugou-“

“Katsuki.” He deadpanned.

“Bakugou, we broke up.” You stated while walking up to him.

“Mm...no we didn’t.” He once again so casually said.

“Wha- I- we- you-....HUH?!” You stuttered out.

“Y/N-“

“L/N!” You corrected.

“Y/N. We didn’t break up you dummy, we only had a little set back and that’s fine. All couples do. But thankfully you forgave me and we’ve moved past it,” he began as he pulled you into his lap, “besides, everyone wants us back together including us so why not make it easier for everyone.”

You began stuttering out none sense right there on his lap. You were in such shock and utter disbelief that he said all that bullshit. Well maybe he was right about one thing. Everyone did want you guys back together, including you both, but that’s besides the point! Y’all broke up! He needs to accept it.

“Baku- no- I- we-“ and before you knew it, his lips were on yours.

And for some reason, you didn’t push him away. Granted you didn’t accept it either, but you slowly melted into it. The kiss was passionate and slow. It wasn’t sloppy, it was very controlled, but it was just a lotta lip and tongue. The whole thing sent butterflies to your heart and stomach. Oh how you missed moments like these with Katsuki.

He readjusted you on his lap so that you were now straddling him. His hands travelled down to your ass as he gave it a nice squeeze, one that made you moan into the kiss. Your arms went straight to his neck to pull him in for more and he took it as an invitation to start. The kiss began to get a little rougher. More tongue and teeth, both of you extremely desperate for the touch from one another. With your cunt pressed onto his crotch, he slowly thrusted up into you as you grinded down slowly on him. You both started breathing heavier and letting out little whimpers of ecstasy. He could probably feel your now soaked panties. One hand left your ass and came around to the front. He pressed on your soaked pussy through your damp underwear and it caused shutters to go through your entire body.

You began pressing down into his hand, desperate for more friction and Bakugou noticed. He moved your panties to the side and slipped in one finger. This was rewarded with a louder moan that caused Katsuki to smile into the kiss. He knew you and your body so well. He was determined to treat you right and get you to fall for him one more time. As his finger felt around your velvet walls, he slipped in another one, receiving an even louder cry of pleasure. You broke off from the kiss to throw your head back. Katsuki saw this as an opportunity to attack your neck. To mark you up and let everyone know you still belonged to him.

“K-Katsuki. Don’t...don’t stop,” you panted.

“I won’t princess, I’ll take care of you.” He smiled.

Without warning, he shoved in 2 more fingers. You were so loud and Bakugou was so proud. You were gonna let everyone know what’s happening and he was excited.

He lifted his head to whisper into your ear as you continued to moan and sigh.

“Well aren’t you just a little slut. You want everyone to know how well daddy takes care of you? You want them to hear you scream in pleasure?” His words went straight to your cunt that was now welcoming in his 5th and final finger. Completely fisting you now, you let out loud cries.

“S-uki, .....ah, AH YES! Mm, s’too much!” You cried out. You couldn’t help it, you loved him. You knew you did. Even though what he did was wrong, your body took over and your mind turned off. You fully succumbed to his wishes.

You let your feet hit the ground to stand yourself up a little bit and fall down onto his fist, meeting the thrust of his hand moving in and out of you. Watching the show, Katsuki couldn’t help but stare in delight. His hard on growing bigger and bigger each second as he bit his lip to hold back his sounds. Watching you bounce on just his fist did something to him and brought out a feral beast. He snapped.

He pulled his fist out of your aching pussy and sat you down on his desk. He stood up infront of you and tore your delicate panties off.

“Katsuki-“ you were silenced with a smack to your ass

“That’s not my name, teddy bear. C’mon now, you know exactly what I wanna hear.” He said while caressing your thighs.

“..Yes daddy.” You bashfully said.

With a kiss to your cheek he praised you.

“Good girl.” As he began to unbuckle his belt, you looked around the classroom.

“D-daddy. Someone’s gonna see!” You cautiously stated.

Katsuki reassured you with a kiss to your lips, “We’ll be fine princess, I promise,” he said while placing his tip at your entrance. You whimpered at the thought of him inside you again, it’s been so long. You were almost nervous. That is until Katsuki place a finger under your chin so you could face him in his eyes.

“I’m gonna take care of you, so don’t worry.” And with that you slowly nodded. And he finally began to press into you.

With just his tip in, you let out a breathy moan. He was bigger than you remembered. He kept pressing and pressing until he was fully inside your warm and tight hole. You both let out a moan at the feeling of each other.

“Daddy, please move.” And he did as he was told. With a steady pace set, he thrusted himself in and out of you. Both of you moaning louder every second. While you were enveloped in the euphoric feeling, Katsuki was struggling to hold back the beast inside of him. That is until you came up to his ear.

“Fuck me like you mean it, daddy. I won’t break, I promise.” You said in his ear and Katsuki swore he could hear your smirk. Gripping your ass and continuing his pace he spoke.

“Don’t be mad when you can’t walk for the next week,” he smirked. With that, he slammed himself deeper, harder, and faster inside of you. His tip hitting your cervix. You let our screams of pure pleasure and he did the same.

“Oh yesss...shit daddy..so big..”

“F-fuck! Oh you like that? Yeah princess? ...oh shit baby your pussy takes me so well. Y-Yeah, your tight little cunt takes this big cock so fucking well,” he moved faster inside, exploring you completely. His hands went straight to your shirt and and ripped it open. You had a few buttons fly everywhere, but you didn’t care. He pushed your bra up and let one of your mounds fall into his hand. He squeezed it tight to release a generous moan from you. He then dove into the valley of breast to mark your chest. You held onto the back of his head and tugged at his hair and he growled at he feeling, enjoying every second of it.

“Oh yess princess just like that. S-shit. Oh fuck yes...oh you’re mine,” he went deeper inside as he spoke.

“Fuck! Daddy yes! Right t-there! Oh my god..yess,” you cried out.

“Can you feel that. Oh fuck, can you feel my dick in your gut?” He moaned out. Katsuki went to grip the edge of his desk as you kept your hold around his neck, causing him to somehow move faster. He went up to taste your lips once more

“I love you....so much princess...you hear me...Mm, your mine,” he said between kisses and ended with a smack to your now red ass.

His words had you squeezing his cock. He knew what was coming.

“Aww, is princess gonna cum? You gonna cum on daddy’s dick?” He teased.

“Mm...p-please daddy. Please let me cum,” you said while throwing your head back. Katsuki only smirked at this.

“Not yet~” he pulled out of you, leaving you a whiny mess.

“N-no! Daddy please! Please let me finish,” you said while holding onto his shoulders, inches away from his face, pressing your chest to his. Your words caused his “little” friend to grow even harder and Katsuki only smirked and looked down at you.

“Dont worry teddy bear, Daddy’s not done with you yet.” He yanked you off the desk and pressed you down onto it, with your chest to the desk. Then he slammed back into you, returning to the fast pace again.

“Fuck yeah..oh god look at this ass. Nice and round, all red for me,” he said while pounding into you.

He gave your ass a good few smacks, countered with a thrust each harder than the last before going to lay his chest on top of you to whisper in your ear.

“You wanna be a good girl for daddy? Huh, teddy bear?” He asked.

“Mmm, yes! Yes I’ll be good, just please!” You cried out. He reached his hand over to rub on your clit. Your body began to shake with pleasure.

“Then cum with me.....NOW,” he said, and that was all it took for you to release the white liquid. As you came you could feel his hot release filling you up to the brim. He cried out in pure pleasure while you did the same.

You both stayed in that position for a bit, and you could feel the mixture of both your release dripping down your inner thighs. Soon, you felt Katsuki lower himself to kiss your neck.

“You did so good princess.” He calmly said to you. It was relieving, and you loved the sound of his voice, but you couldn’t help but feel a little off at this whole ordeal.

Katsuki pulled out of you and watched how his cum covered and filled your entire pussy. He smiled at the sight and went to grabbed some tissue on Aizawa’s desk to clean you and himself up.

He tucked himself back into his pants and you rebuttoned your shirt the best you could and flipped your skirt back down. Since Katsuki tore your panties you’d have to go commando at least until you got back to your room. You watched as Katsuki went to throw away the tissues and your torn underwear into the trash can. When he made his way back to you, he held you in his arms and attempted to kiss you. But you turned away.

“Hey teddy be-“

“No, Katsuki. Please don’t call me that.” You said while looking down. Katsuki felt his heart hurt a little. You’re always gonna be his teddy bear, why would he ever stop calling you that?

“Y/N, what’s wrong?” He asked you.

“Us. This. Katsuki, what happened today should not have happened.” You said

“What?” He was so confused and a little hurt.

As tears start to fill your eyes, you did everything you could to not let them fall. “Suki, we broke up. You accused me of cheating, you burned me! So for us to come in here and just have sex like nothing happened is wrong.”

“Y/N, I’m sorry for what happened. Seriously, after what I did it destroyed me. But please listen, I lov-“ you cut him off again.

“I know!.....I know you do Katsuki.....and I love you too Suki. So much,” this brought a smile to his face. A true, genuine smile that you loved so dearly.

“But I’m scared.” You added on. This made Katsuki’s smile drop, worry and concern fill his eyes.

“Of what exactly?” He asked you while gently holding onto your hand.

“.....You.” This shocked him. His own teddy bear feared him. Heartbreaking.

“I’m scared of the lack of trust that you have for me. And not only that, but your quirk too. Katsuki I know you’re one of the best students here at UA, but I know you’re emotions can get out of hand too. It’s clear that when you’re not in control of your feelings, your quirk can lash out. The evidence is right here,” you turned you arm that he was holding to show him the scar he left on you.

Now this really hurt Katsuki. He loved marking you with his love, not with his anger. The fact that he did that to you sent his mind into a frenzy. Until he felt your touch on his cheek.

Holding onto his cheek with your soft hands, you spoke reassuring words. “Katsuki, you were right about two things. I do want us to be together again and I do forgive you,” and with that, Katsuki leaned into your touch. Holding onto your hand that held his face, he released a single tear he didn’t know he was holding and closed his eyes in relief and satisfaction.

“But I can’t be with you again.” Your words caused him to open his eyes and stare at you in shock and fear. “At least...not yet.”

Whew, his heart rate went back down. Oh the rollar coaster of emotions this poor boy was currently on.

“Yet?” He asked hopefully.

“Suki, I’m still trying to fix myself, and it’s clear that you need to fix yourself too. I really want to be with you, but we both need time to grow for each other. I can’t leave you. I know for sure that in my heart, you’re always gonna be the one I run back to, but I don’t want to run back to someone who could possibly hurt me again. I want to come back to you knowing that when we are together again, our relationship is secured.” You explained.

A silence filled the air. You both stared at each other for what felt like forever. Nobody else in the world. Just you and him. He then pulled you in for a tight hug. As he held onto you, you could feel hot tears hitting your shoulder, and quiet sobs left his voice along with a hitched breath every now and then. Katsuki was crying.

“....I promise you. I’m gonna get better for you. I’m gonna be worthy of you and your love and it’ll stay that way for the rest of our lives. You and me. Together. Im gonna do whatever it takes to get you back and I won’t stop at anything until you’re mine again. I swear I’ll treat you better than I ever did before. As long as I know that you’re coming back to me and me only, I’ll wait for you for as long as it takes teddy bear.” He said into your neck with his arms tightly wrapped around your waist.

“I know you will Suki. And I promise I won’t make you wait too long.” You said while hugging him back.

“You better not.” The blonde said.

“Don’t forget though, I’m always yours. And just yours.” You reassured him.

“......Can we at least make this a little easier for me and say we didn’t split. We’re just on a break. A small break?” He said, now looking directly in your eyes while still holding onto you.

You put his worries at ease with your gentle smile. “The smallest break, Suki.” You softly laughed as you both went back in for another hug.

“........I like it better when you call me daddy,” the damn devil said while smiling.

“Shut up you horny idiot.” You chuckled.

‘I can’t wait to be yours again,’ you both thought

You both stayed there in each other’s embraces until the world faded away. It was just you and him. Together. You were both no longer lost. You weren’t at your destination yet, but you were on the right tracks. One step closer to each other. One step closer to love.

A/N: There’s still a little more I wanna add to the story, so there will be a part 3 to close this little short story. Sorry if there were any spelling mistakes. Thank you guys so much for the love and support. As a new writer I never expected to grow so quickly so I truly love each and every one of you bear cubs! Sorry this was so long, I hope you enjoyed! 💗🧸

[omg-im-such-a-masochist]

ILLICITUS: CHAPTER 1

Prompt: Y/N is a respectful narcotics agent, she worked hard to have her work recognized in a prominently male work field. She‘s assigned to the most important case of her whole career, investigate and apprehend the biggest drug dealer of U.S.A, the only thing she didn’t count on, was for the bastard to be so damn charming.

Word count: Long-ish

Pairing: Mob!Roman Reigns x Reader

Warnings: +18, Illegal substances, cursing (that’s all for now)

Tagging: @ziasaph , @reigns-5sos, @mindofasagittaruis , @jibbles26 . I’m also tagging these lovely humans(although they didn’t ask for it 👉👈, but they’re opinion is very important to me as well 💕) @blondekel77, @akiko-tanaka, @drew-is-boo , @drewmcintyrekoccsrocbwdgfan, @new-zealand-chic

Notes: I’ve had this idea for a few weeks now, and decided to give it a shot. This is originally planned to be a series, but we’ll see how this goes...I’ve always loved crime themed stories, so this is dedicated to my profound love for crime series. Y’all know the drill loves,sorry for misspellings,english isn’t my first language (bla bla bla),check out my other stories if you’d like to(it would make your girl here very happy 😊) and if you’re comfortable with it,please let me know what you think? Some feedback is always welcomed and appreciated ❤️You can check out my other stories typing ‘masochist writes’ on the search bar on my page and my newest story as a fixed post.Okay,now let’s get to the fun part,shall we? Hope you’ll enjoy 😉

“Argh! Already?!” I groan as I get up from my bed, shooting a deadly glare at my alarm *4:30 a.m. how fun is that?!* I thought

I took a shower to help me shake off my sleeping mode, brushed my teeth and made me some tea to start the day.

I know, weird right?! What type of officer/agent/investigator doesn’t drink coffee and smoke cigarettes?? Well the answer is: me! I love the smell of coffee but hate the taste of it, so tea works for me. But I am kind of guilty on the cigarettes though, it’s not an addiction per say, but I do smoke one or two if a case is really killing me...is a coping mechanism.

I drove the short 10 minutes distance between my home and the DEA’s office in a comfortable silence. Once I parked my car, I took the elevator to the 34th floor. As soon as the doors open I find my boss waiting for me.

“Good morning, kiddo!” Jeffrey smiles

Jeffrey is a nice guy, 57 years old, 37 years in this job, a good wife, four kids and two grandchildren. He drinks so much coffee that I’m pretty sure it has replaced his blood by now! He’s like a damn chimney, three packs of Marlboro red every fucking day! I really don’t know how he still have any lung function.

He’s always been nice to me, always supported, always believed in my work and potential and sort of took me under his wing ever since I started working here. He’s one of the best and I was glad to have him as my mentor and boss.

“Good morning, Jeff” I lightheartedly smile

“How is it going kid? Don’t you just love the fresh air of mornings?” He lightly chuckled

I rolled my eyes “Oh yeah I love it! That’s why you called me here at 4 a.m.? To talk about your profound love for mornings?” I raise my eyebrows

He laughs “Oh you’re priceless kid! But no, that’s not what I called you in here for, unfortunately. Let’s go to my office, shall we?”

Once inside his room, he motions for me to seat down.

“So?” I ask

“I have a case for you”

“But I’m already working on a case with Alvarez”

“That’s his case. This one” he passed me a folder “Is all yours! I want you to lead the investigation” He smiled

I open the folder and read the information inside, when my eyes stopped by the target’s name I froze in place.

“Sir, I...” I whispered “I can’t accept this”

“Not only you can, but you will kiddo! I need someone who will not get intimidated by him”

“And you thought of me? Of all people?” I scoffed

“Yes, you’re the only one I can actually trust in this place. Rumor has it, he knows we’re investigating...” He stares at me

“Do you think someone snitched?” I ask

“Only five people knew about this operation....people who wears big shoes, if know what I mean..”

“Superiors?” I whispered

He slowly nodded “ Well, we know how powerful he is, so him having informers is not a shock, but I didn’t thought he would have such high hierarchy ones..”

“So why do you want to hand the investigation to me, exactly?”

“Y/N, there’s a reason why I’ve always liked you kid, you love what you do, you can’t be bought, you’re not scared of anything or anyone, you have a deep passion about this career and that’s hard to see! But also because I need someone I can trust with my eyes closed, and that’s you kiddo” He squeezed my shoulder

I’ve always been an ambitious person, since I was a little girl, this operation is a one in a lifetime opportunity for me to make a name for myself in this department, so I didn’t think twice, before saying

“I’ll take it”

He smirked “That’s my kid!”

......................................................

It was now 9 a.m., I’m debating whether I should go on and get this over with or postpone ‘till later.

“Ah, fuck it” I say as I open my car door and make my way to the security gate. I ring the intercom.

“Yes?” A male voice answers

“Agent Y/L/N, DEA, I would like to speak to Mr. Reigns please”

“Do you have an appointment?”

“No, but I could use some of Mr. Reigns infinite kindness” I bitterly said

“Well, he’s not available now” The guy responds and hung up.

*Fucking great! Now I’ll have to get a warrant that will probably never be signed! That’s just what I needed* I thought as I made my way back to my car, as soon as I was about to get inside of my car I hear

“Agent Y/L/N, please, wait” The same guy who answered me on the intercom was now at the gate

“Mr. Reigns will see you, now ma’am”

I raise my eyebrows in surprise as I followed the man inside the house to Mr.Reigns office.

..................................................

“Please, sit down, Mr. Reigns will be here in a minute. I’m gonna need your gun ma’am” I give it to him “Thank you. Would you like something do drink?” He asks

“No, thank you”

After two minutes, the door opened once more.

“Agent Y/L/N, what do I give the-“ He stopped by my side, measuring me up and down, visually surprised and amused by ‘the agent’ being a woman “Pleasure” He smirked, offering me his hand for a handshake which I accepted

“I would like to have a few words with you Mr. Reigns, if that’s ok”

“Sure!” He made his way to his chair, in front of me “So what can I help you with, agent?”

“I came here to deliver this to you, sir” I pass him a document “It’s an assent term, we’re opening an investigation on you and we would like for you to cooperate with the information we need it, if you sign it, you’ll give us the consent to investigate your business and patrimony as well as provide us any further informations we might need. You’re free to keep the document and show it to your lawyer if you would like. In case you don’t want to sign it, we’ll have to start a search warrant on your name, business, property, information and data”

I say as he reads the document

“May I ask, what’s the investigation for, agent?”

“Illicit substances, sir” He already knows about the whole thing, so there’s no point lying about it.

He gives me a smug smirk “I bet it must be very hard for you, agent Y/L/N, to be taken seriously in this field. I mean, you’re a very beautiful woman, surrounded by all those old men..If I had a gorgeous coworker like yourself, I wouldn’t be able to function properly...” He vaguely says

“Would you like to keep the document, sir?” I ask, fully ignoring what he just said and pretending it didn’t affected me at all! Yes, he was breath taking and incredibly hot, but also an investigation target. And I’m a professional for crying out loud!

“Would you like to have dinner with me, agent Y/L/N?” He charmingly asks

“Mr. Reigns, I’ll ask for you to not insult my intelligence, sir.”

“That’s exactly why I’m inviting you for dinner. Because I know you’re an incredibly smart woman” He stares at me with his brown eyes full of amusement

I reach forward and yanked the document out of his hands, I needed to get out of there before I would do something completely unprofessional

“I see you’ve chose the warrant then, no problem sir”

I turned to walk out of his office, when he grabbed me by my arm, pulling me towards his chest. He leans down, brushing his nose on the nape of my neck

“You smell amazing agent Y/L/N, what perfume is that?” He brushes his nose up on my neck, until he reached my ear “I think we’ve started with the wrong foot, don’t you agent?” He stepped back and brushed his lips with mine

“What do you say, we give each other a helping hand? I sign your little document and you have dinner with me, how does that sounds to you?” He whispers

“I can still go for that warrant you know?” I bluff

He lightly chuckled “Oh baby, we both know that, that warrant will never be signed” He rested his hand on my neck, tilting my head up “So what’s gonna be? Do we have a deal?” As his fingers caresses the back of my neck

Before I could stop myself, the words slipped through my lips “Deal”

He smiles satisfied

To Be Continued...

Please let me know your thoughts on this “potential” series and if it should continue?

[youranxiousnerd]

Second Chances Thoughts

bc what

spoilers below

i have...thoughts

ah no chaotic intro, f in the chat

it’s still a nice intro, tho

IM SORRY ARE THEY NOT SHOWING THE TRANSFORMATION?!?!

WHAT

THIS IS A HATE CRIME /j

i used the thingy

no bows either?!?!

this is called high school musical: the musical: the series not high school musical: the backstage drama: the series

wow they got changed fast

“Passable!” 

I’ll be the judge of that oh wait i cant bc they didnt show us

YES QUEEN ASHLYN GETTING THE LOVE SHE DESERVES

ashlyn is such a queen

the perfect belle, stunning

“A couple letters, actually” it’s a sign (literally)

flower touch

AWWW REDLYN

STOP THEY’RE ADORABLE

they love each other so much

east high kids be snooping

not me thinking about carlos’ hand on seb’s back we were robbed im taking what i can get

“You were the perfect Belle tonight. I was really proud”

“Evil genius”

they’re so happy

AWWW A REDLYN KISS WHOOP WHOOP

kourt and howie are so awkward 

“drumroll?”

howie and seb would get along

weird little playoff, maybe he is lying?

they’re cute, tho

sad that they didn’t really get any build-up

“happy now?” “yes”

“If it’s with you, always” MY HEART

just like a fanfic

kourtney just invited north highs beast to east highs cast party

OH MY GOD MAZZARA IS ACTUALLY GETTING A STORY ABOUT HIM

i was not expecting that okay

ej and mazzara are the best

gina is so happy too bad it wont last

gina is an actress 

gahhhh portwell drama

oh god rini let the drama begin

that was very calm, did someone possess nini and ricky?

i really like them as best friends. i was a hardcore rini shipper last season but with all their constant conflict i realized how much fun they are as friends

“we are literally on the same page” 

“just for a moment” I LOST MY SHIT

miss jenn no

oooo seblos please be good

Seb calling Miss. Jenn out on her bullshit since idk when

“That’s a hard never mind now” okay wow

Miss. Jenn is Carlos’ godmother 

This is theatre, not football

CRYING GINA

gini

GINA SUPPORT DAY IS A THING PEOPLE!!!!!

oh wow a plot line actually being addressed

season 1 callback im not ready

gina and nini people!!! 

very sweet scene

ahha jamie callback we all knew it

i would really like to see miss jenns batb audition notes

“I’m in a great place, mentally” if you were you wouldn’t be saying that

OMFG IS SHE NOT GOING TO APOLOGIZE!?!?!

like that was a big deal, a big effing deal and then nothing?

you told a kid to jump off something high and you can’t even say “sorry”?!?!

back to the miss jenn love triangle

“I think I’m happy, or gettin’ there”

ricky you don’t have to be there yet it’s okay

that line hit

SEASON 1 OUTFITS

CORE 4 SONG

killer harmonies

sofia giving us that alto rep!!

portwell duet! audition outfits

very good, very very good. this song kinda screams autotune but it still sounds very good. 

last song of the season NOOO but very fitting

Is it just me or does “Second Chance” look like a music video they show in Justice (the teen store) in 2014?

cast bonding yay!

PAUSE THE ONLY SEBLOS MOMENT WE GOT THIS EPISODE WAS A WRIST HOLD?!?!!

DISNEY WTF

LIKE EVERY COUPLE GOT THEIR MOMENT AND ALL THEY GET IS A WRIST HOLD

BFBLBFIWGFSDMBF

shit why does my favorite ship have to be the gay one on a disney show?

east high booing the lily and french boi has me on the floor

“Big Red, you were also in it” BEST LINE OF THE FINALE OMFG

i missed antoine 

sorry carlos has glitter on his face

seb’s smile and wave at north high why am i laughing?

off topic but i have unintentionally started doing the seb wave (you know the one) (with the fingers) in real life.

also gay chair sit

e.j is also doing the gay chair sit 

lily what

you have had like one conversation

ew

she says she likes his face but not his personality? 

im calling bullcrap

pause didn’t lily steal the harness? are we just going to forget about that

probably, the writers did forgot to develop seblos

Let Ricky be single challenge

ANTOINE MY LOVE

REDLYN I LOVE YOU

SHUSH EJ’S SPEECH TIME TO SOB

ummmm

so this season has been for nothing?

all the shit they went through (the self-doubt, relationship problems, the injuries, the death threats) is for nothing?!?

since when does Miss. Jenn not care anymore about the Menkies?!?!

I actually get the kids side of this, but not Miss. Jenn’s. 

I was surprised they took this route with the Menkies, didn’t even cross my mind 

“It was five”

Big Red x medicine 

bet your ass ashlyn would have gotten a nomination best actress

“We got a pizza oven” THE EAST HIGH KIDS ARE COMMITTING ARSON

is mazzara staying for miss jenn? they could do long distance but it doesnt have the best rep in this show

gini

ashlyn is the captain of the portwell ship and nini is her right hand man (or whatever second best is called in sailing)

NINI MAKIN THE DEALS

RICKY WHY ARE YOU CALLING HER

WHYYYYYY

“Will you be my first kiss” smiles

OH MY GOD

WAIT NOTHING

WHAT

OMFG THEY CUT IT LMAO

“this summer is about to get hot” SUMMER SEASON 3?!?!

ANTOINE

OMFG HE BETTER COME BACK

I LOVE ABF

WAIT THATS IT

FWBEGLEWG

THATS IT

hey they ended with andrew barth feldman what more can you ask for?

Thats...it?

Oh wait some cast stuff...brb ima cry. The ending has some very series finale energy...I’m scared. Natalie wouldn’t have done the “buckle up wildcats” if there wasn’t a season 3, right? But the bloopers at the end...

The cast ending was great. “You are the Music in Me” was so heartfelt and I’m a sucker for bloopers.

Wait so no Lily home? It was probably a cut scene. 

If we got Lily home, can we get an album with the cast singing all the BATB songs? 

I have so many mixed feelings about this episode. Here is the thing, if you love the core 4 then this was your episode. If you’re like me and prefer the side leads then this was probably a little disappointing since we barely saw them. This episode felt rushed and a little messy, but there were some great moments. Season 2′s writing has felt a little weird. This season lacked the chaotic theater kid energy season 1 had. It was one of the reasons I fell in love with the show. If/when we get a season 3 I really hope the writers find that energy again.

Let’s all give a round of applause for the cast and crew who filmed majority of the season during a global pandemic. That could not have been easy. They gave us a pretty good season under crazy conditions. They definitely had to change some things to fit the current climate. Overall, hats off the the cast and crew because you guys killed it. 

I’m really going to miss this show, hopefully it gets renewed. It has become a comfort show these past several weeks. My sanity says “no, don’t go” but my sleep schedule says “leave.”

To second chances!!

[theotherace]

Fic Recs: Taang

I’ve made two or three rec lists over the past few months, but I thought I’d make a proper, comprehensive one that’s easy to add to in the future. Not all of these are exclusively Taang, but they all feature the ship to some degree. I will only recommend one or two stories per author, but some profiles are definitely worth checking out further. So! Here goes.

Multi-Chapter, Complete

Whisper Into the Sky by damagectrl – Toph has two choices: Go home and get married or have the family fortune and her inheritance given to a stranger. Her problem: She wants to keep her ties to her family, but is quite content traveling with Aang. Her solution: Fight her way through suitors for her freedom. Literally. | General 

The Slow Path by Tazmainian Devil – Eight years after the fall of Ozai, Aang returns to the friends he left behind. | T

A Matter of Honor by Adridere – Almost 4 years after the war. Aang is engaged to Katara and is up to Zuko to teach him the facts of life. Yep, the bees and the birds. Crazy kings, bananas and the ultimate contest for the hand of a reluctant maiden. | M

Roommates by breeeliss – An unlikely tale of two unlikely people being forced to live together under unlikely circumstances.| Modern AU | T

Fall of the White Lotus by Boo-82 – Three years after the war Zuko is living a life of duty while Katara reluctantly travels the world with Aang. So, when General Iroh orders them to find Zuko’s mother and save his Order they seize the opportunity with both hands. It’s the beginning of an adventurous journey of discovery, but as time runs out a rising threat puts their bond to the test. | T

Half Asleep by The Crushinator – Five years after the Hundred-Year War, Fire Lord Zuko is hit with an assassin’s dart, and falls into a coma from which he cannot wake. A week passes, and his prognosis is grim. But Katara could swear she hears him in her dreams… | T

Yaaburnee by aviatordame – Avatars aren't meant to belong – that's as much as Aang can fathom. | M

Getting Lucky by roca-dos – Crazy things happen in college every day. | Modern AU | T 

All Fall Down by DJNS  – Aang copes with a tragic loss and finds renewed hope in an unexpected place. | M | Warning for Major Character Death

The Princess & the Badger-Cat by panaili – In a land never torn apart by the Hundred Year War, the sixteen-year-old Avatar Aang is trying his best to keep the balance between the four nations, including the increasingly antagonistic Fire Nation, which, despite his friendship with the Crown Prince Zuko, refuses to acknowledge him. Elsewhere, Sokka and Katara have been separated on their quest to find their missing father, and Sokka, pursued by the same bandits who kidnapped his sister, finds himself on the balcony of some rich girl’s house in Gaoling. Oh, and a sorcerer has turned him into a badger-cat. It’s just one of those days. | Teen and Up

Reborn by Jakia – Life. Death. Rebirth. This is the cycle that all spirits must abide to, even the Avatar. Aang and Toph face death and the reincarnation cycle. | T

New Girl by tiffaniesblews – After coming home early from a business trip, all Katara wanted to do was surprise her boyfriend, Jet. Imagine her surprise when she got home and Jet was in bed with another woman. Not wanting to live with her ex, and unable to live with her best friend, Suki, Katara takes her brother Sokka's offer to move into his loft with his two roommates. Aang is perky and sweet, the owner of a st. Bernard and a cat, who's often confused about his direction in life. Zuko, on the other hand, is a closed-off bartender, who takes some time opening up to others.The four could not be more different, and yet? They work out perfectly. Even if Katara's feelings for Zuko get a bit more complicated as time goes on. | Modern AU | Mature 

The Ties That Bind series by LdyKirin – An exploration of the ties that bind for good and ill. Toph and Zuko are both shaped by the family they were born to and the family they choose. Lots of found family feels. | T

What Happens In Kyoshi by BlackVelvetBand – Prince Zuko, and the GAang take a vacation on Kyoshi Island. Flirting, fighting, and embarrasment ensue as Sokka takes it upon himself to defend Katara's virtue...in a dress? A short,chaptered fic featuring Zutara, Sokki, and Taang. | T

Under the Night Sky by mycomfortblanket – Aang hears the chattering of teeth during a cold night. Was an AU that I found on tumblr that I made fit into this story. Orginal prompt: "We have to go camping together and share a sleeping bag even though we are complete strangers | General

On The Precipice by JoyDragon – They’re just best friends. Or maybe they’re teetering on the edge of being something more. | General

Oneshots, Complete

Air and Stone by Wolvenfire86 – A few Taang stories munched together. My first submissions. I hope everyone likes them. Please review, it makes me feel special. | K+

Taang Week 2020 series by teabagginses | Teen and Up & Mature

Our Little Secret by IrisPlumeria – Toph and Aang, sat next to one another dressed in their finest under paper lanterns and surrounded by copious amounts of food and friends, cringed at the disgusting noises coming out of Sokka’s nostrils as he blew his nose into Suki’s handkerchief. “I can’t believe two of my best friends are finally married!” Sokka sobbed, earning a supportive pat on the back from Suki, who didn’t flinch at the snot coming out of his nose. “I’m so happy for you guys!” Toph and Aang's family are happy for their nuptials, but will they be able to survive their wedding party without letting slip a big secret?Written for Taang Week 2020 - Tradition. | General 

All Roads Lead To Ba Sing Se by irisbleufic – "I was thinking," [Mai] said, tucking her last remaining dagger into her belt as she strode to meet him, "that it's about time I let Fire Lord Zuko know that I quit." When Kuei smiled at her, she could see the sunshine at which she once cringed."Notice that's six years overdue is better than none at all." "Indeed," said the Earth Queen, and grinned at him. | Teen And Up

Lady Fu’s Fortune Telling by Lady Cleo – Katara and Toph visit the local fortuneteller to get their fortunes told. Added a part two with Zuko and Aang. | T

The Perfect Companion by Morna – Aang seeks comfort outside of the arms of his wife, Katara. Taang, slightly lemony. | T

Box by JoeMerl – Written for Taang Week, one-shot. Toph ticks off Bumi, but Aang is willing to fight his old friend tooth and nail to get her out of trouble. Humor, light romance. | K+

2 am by shmulia – Whoever set off the fire alarm at 2 in the morning is on Katara's shit list. Even if he is hot and shirtless. | Modern AU | K

And its sequel, 11:45 – House parties aren't Katara's thing. Sokka's drunk, Suki's on a mission to set her up, and Toph is... well, Toph. But for every cloud there's a silver lining, and for Katara it comes in the form of a second chance with her neighbour... | Modern AU | T 

Treat by PsychEmpress – She felt the corners of her own lips quirk as he sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck. “Consider this my treat,” he said and Toph allowed a smile to break out. OR In which Toph is a stressed architecture student who gets a free cup of coffee from the handsome waiter after she helps his friend. Taang. Mentions of Sukka. | Modern AU | T

Sawaru by metacognitive – This love is simple. Non-Korra compliant. | K+

Newlyweds (and basically everything else) by PandaCookie – Everyone’s a bit hopeless right after they’ve been married. | K+

Rhythms by xcgirl08– For now, though, her child’s heartbeat was hers to contemplate. | K 

Tenderness by Adridere – He wanted to keep her, even though he was not supposed to. He promised her freedom, and she promised him sanity in his own household. She kept her part of the bargain, but he found a way not to keep his. | M

Holy Matrimony by Loopy – After their marriage, Zuko and Katara deal with conflicting religious beliefs, and look to the friends for advice. Between the Zutara and the religious satire, every single person who reads this should feel offended. | General

Blind Maiden’s Grace by Adara_Rose – You can learn a lot of things from a flower… | Not Rated (I’d say General) 

Etched in the Earth by Dance_Elle_Dance – She knows the feel of Aang’s footprints better than her own, and that reality scares her. | Teen and Up

No One Asks About The Scars by voleuse – Write about how you learned to curse in order not to be cursed. | General

When in Rome by dtmars – She wasn’t stupid. She knew what she was doing and what she was getting herself into. They both did. | Modern AU. | Explicit

Like Real People Do by DerAndere – The moon is full and bright when he falls out of bed, awake, asleep, inside a dream, and starts walking, driven by the feeling he does not understand, tugging on him relentlessly, and he is Aang, and he is not, and the world is cold. | General | Full Disclosure: This is my story.

Meet Me Under The Table by avatarfan16 – A story of how Toph and Aang find love, in the most unusual of places. TAANG | K+

Aftermath by Zaram'delar – In any celebration, there's always one or two people with a habit of disappearing. Taang drabbleish series. | T

I Choose Dare by for_darkness_shows_the_stars – An ode to how Aang, under the power of a mighty temptress, was forced to grow a beard. Oh, and the birth of his first child, too, he supposes. | General Audiences

Multi-Chapter, In Progress

Heartbeat by AngelicBee – Avatar Aang's soulmate probably died 100 years before, but he can't help but feel she's closer than he thinks. | Teen and Up

a mighty ocean (or a gentle kiss) by poweradequeen – no, the title doesn’t make sense but i don’t care. i couldn’t think of one so now you’re stuck with a cheesy line from two by sleeping at last.it’s a taang fine arts university au. because i said so. | Teen and Up

Neither is Love a Cage by cali-chan – Love is the freedom of flying accompanied. It is letting be without possessing. PG-13 (possibly M later on), drama/romance/angst, Zuko/Katara + Aang/Toph, post-finale but diverges before LoK canon.

Operation: Zutara (REVAMPED) by dtmars – Everyone could see that those two were in love with each other. Everyone except for them. So Toph takes the initiative and fills in for Cupid to give them a little push, while Aang just tags along for the ride. | Teen and Up

Taang One Shots by stitch1830 – A collection of short stories about Toph and Aang that I've had saved in my notes for a few months. Stories are in the ATLA/LOK universe (not canon compliant), and typically revolve around their relationship and family. | Teen and Up

[91percentpynch]

lonely heart - kevaaron au pt 4

oh look it‘s me, coming out of my dark hole to make you suffer with a super sad chapter with a nasty cliffhanger:) so get your tissues ready and enjoy!! okay first of all sorry that i didn‘t update this in a g e s and that it‘s rather short and for the cliffhanger, but i‘ll try to update it more regularly now:)

check this out for the other parts:)

trigger warnings: drug abuse, mention of suicide, mention of mental health issues, very sad aaron, mention of blood

“You were too good for me”, Aaron whispered into the void. “You were way too fucking good for me. You made me a better man. And I fucked up”

Aaron got up as he felt the tears burning in his eyes. He knew he wouldn‘t be able to sleep alone tonight. Like every single goddamn night since he left Kevin. Like every single goddamn night since he made the biggest mistake of his life.

„Taylor?“, the blonde haired boy murmered, „You up?“

„Babe, you know I‘m up. My girlfriend lives three states away, we talk every single day at the same time as you call your man. Not that I would be able to sleep when you call him, cause a) i love Day and b) you‘re always sad and high and end up in my room anygays, so did he take the phone darling?“

Taylor was Aaron‘s roommate and the closest thing he had to a best friend. She had been there for him every single day, cuddled him, held him while he cried and dried his tears afterwards. And Aaron did the same when she misssed her girlfriend too much.

„You do realize he is not my man anymore, I fucked that up. Big time. He did actually take the phone just to tell me to fuck off and stop calling“

„You could always go over there and say it in his pretty face. Didn’t say you can’t come over did he?Pro point: Might lead to making out“, Taylor said while taking him in her arms. „Plus another pro point: you‘d get sober again. And you‘re less moody. No offense but a Kevin-less Aaron is hardly managable, like you‘re either a whiny little bitch or you‘ll give me the death glare of the cenutry. Legit worse than Andrew‘s and I called him a cute little baby boo once when I was drunk and he almost stabbed me right there with a look on his face like I just murdered Neil in front of him“

„Tay, I take that as a compliment. And we both know Kevin’s a bit of a dumbass so he did not exactly tell me Not To Come over just stopp calling. Anyways I don‘t even know where he lives. And stop talking about me getting high, you do the same shit“

„Yeah but I know my limits and I have not the same history as you. And for the i DoN‘t EvEn KnOwS wHeRe He LiVeS, phone number. Now“

„O- okay“, Aaron said and told her Kevin‘s phone number while Taylor calmingly stroked his back.

„Neat, got him“, Taylor said after a while. „He‘s with the scary big dude and his adorable little boyfriend I think? I have their address right here, I think we‘re gonna visit them tomorrow cause it‘s like 4 am right now and we don‘t wanna rob him his beauty sleep plus we don‘t want to wake the scary big dude. And I‘m pretty sure the adorable small golden retriver boy could and would stab us“

„Did you just stalk my ex and located his phone at 4 am like fucking Garcias in Criminal Minds?“, Aaron said confused.

„Anything for you big guy. And as I said I miss Day‘s pretty face, preferably in your pretty face so you shut the fuck up about how stressed and depressed and lonely you are.“, Taylor chuckled as Aaron looked at her shocked.

„Well I miss Casey, preferable in your face so YOU shut up“, Aaron was never as good in witty remarks as his brother. Especially high Aaron.

„Babe I think it‘s time for you to go to bed, you‘re not fun when you‘re sad, high and tired. Come here, let me cuddle you, while you whiney little bitch sleep“

Aaron slowly went over to Taylor and into her loving arms, laying down, trying to fall asleep.

After a long while aaron drifted into sleep, just to be greeted by familiar smaragd eyes. In his dream Kevin and he never broke up. Kevin was on top of him, his hands gently discovered Aaron‘s body, touching him as if he was sacred, something to worship. Kevin‘s lips were at Aaron‘s ear whispering sweet nothingness. Aaron‘s hips moved against Kevin‘s loving touch. „Stress release“ Kevin called these holy moments in dawn. „Highlight of my day“ Aaron called them.

The dream was as beautiful as it was cruel. It was as if his body, his mind were as much refusing as able to believe that Kevin was gone. It was his own fault, Aaron knew it. But the ever present voice of his mother, disapproving and disgusting, in his head was just too much for him to handle. He thought - foolish as Aaron was - that the pain of living without Kevin would be better, less cruel, less painful. But he never knew real love and therefore never experienced its lost. Until that faitful day. Until Kevin took his bags and left.

Aaron was used to pain. The hot one after an extraordinarily vicious hit. The cold one when his mother died. The numbing one when the hunger was growing more and more unbareable. But nothing was even slightly as hard to handle as the loss of Kevin in his life.

Kevin was the first good thing Aaron had. He gave him a will to stay, to try, to give this stupid sport everything he got. And Exy turned into more mundane things like getting his eating routine under control or getting a more or less acceptable sleeping schedule. The dark days were still there, for both of them, and they would probably never leave them completely alone, but they got less. And when they did happen they would hold each other together.

Ever since he fucked up things with Kevin, Aaron had more and more dark days. The voice of his mother telling him he‘s a failure, the bored stare of his brother and Aaron convincing himself Andrew wouldn‘t even bet an eye if he died, the voice telling him the world would be a better place without him growing louder and lourder every passing day.

Logically he could say that the death of a single person wouldn‘t change much for the over all world population, expect maybe it‘s some kind of insane mademan dicator or someone important, but still. It made sense. All he did after all was fucking up, being a failure, never good enough, never perfect.

His lonely heart only screamed Kevin‘s name and he knew if Kevin didn‘t take him back, his life wouldn‘t make much sense anymore. Well he would definetly not tell Kevin that. He would not manipulate Kevin into loving him, because that wouldn‘t be much better than not having him at all.

Aaron woke up the next day around noon. He didn‘t really feel like getting up, like getting up was simply too much. But Aaron knew he had to. He didn‘t want to worry Taylor more than he already did. And it would end today. One way or the other.

So he got up, put on the first pair of black jeans he could find and the first sweater his hands could find. Ironically it was one of the sweaters Kevin gave him, on the third of december last year. It was one of Aaron‘s favourites as well.

„Ready for the big Day, small guy?“, Taylor said winking at him.

„Not really? What the fuck am I supposed to do there anyways?“, Aaron replied on his way to the coffee maker.

„Talk to him? Deliver one of those borderline cringe big speeches. Get im flowers. Break into his bedroom and say ‚Draw me like one of your french girls‘, naked of course“, Taylor laughed at the face Aaron made, listening to her suggestions.

„I think I like the big speech. I mean I‘m shit with words, but I‘m sure you want to help your boy getting ‚his man‘ back, right? Also what kind of flowers would you give someone you dumped cause the voice of your dead mother told you it was wrong and disgusting, which you never told him for obvious reasons?“

„Honey, you‘re so fucked up sometimes, I love you but you should go to a therapist or something. Also I‘d say sunflowers or roses? I don‘t speak flowers man, I‘m the tech nerd. Not the romantic one, the nerd. But we‘re gonna make a snazzy speech and you‘re gonna get your man back“

After their typical breakfast - if Aaron didn‘t forget to eat again - they sat down together on the living room floor, paper and pen ready, trying to write the world changing speech.

„Why is this so fucking hard? Why can I only tell him how much I love and miss him when I‘m high off my ass“, Aaron complained.

„What about you don‘t think about him that much. Just tell me what you love about him and then we write that down?“, Taylor suggested.

Aaron took a deep breathe and closed his eyes. „I loved him because he was the first one who saw me. Aaron Minyard. And not just the other Minyard, the lesser twin, the shadow of Andrew. He looked at me and somehow chose me. Even if he could have had everyone else. He chose me, even though I‘m not special. Kevin chose the failure when he could have had the first prize. He looked at me and saw something worth loving, worth keeping around. Hardly anyone could tell Andrew and me apart. But it took him less than a day to do so. Kevin is strong, so so strong and somehow chose the most fragile thing he could find, took it and made it worth soemthing. Kevin made me feel something. Not numbness. Not pain. Something warm and beautiful and living. He gave me a reason to stay alive. Kevin made my life bearable, he made my life beautiful. We were both broken and we would probably still be broken if we were together but we softened each other‘s edges. Kevin believed in me when no one else would. He knew how I felt, knew what I needed and when I needed it. Kev gave me love and safety and I kicked it with my feet. This man is like a god who fell for whatever reasons for a homeless man. And I know I don‘t deserve him but I also know I cannot live without him. And I know that I must tell him that before it‘s too late. If it‘s not too late already“

Taylor wipped a tear out of her eyes. „That‘s it. You tell him that and we‘ll get him back“, she said. „Can I hug you?“

„Sure you loser“

„Ah there is my boy“

They spent the rest of the afternoon writing down the speech, making edits here and there. In the end Aaron collected the pages and went to his room to change. He replaced Kevin‘s sweater with a simple black jumper, put on his Docs, got his keys and left.

Aaro did feel a little uncomfortable, stalking Kevin like that. But he knew this was his chance to fix things. This was his chance to get Kevin back, to make his life worth living again. Which to be fair was a bit selfish, but you are allowed to be a little selfish sometimes, aren‘t you?

Jean and Jeremy‘s apartment complex was a 15 minute drive away from the flat Aaron shared with his three roommates. Theirs was fanzier, obviously. After all Jeremy was a professional Exy player and Jean was some kind of semi famous artist or fashion maker or whatever. They could give Kevin the world. They could give him what he desereved. All Aaron had to offer was an apology and his love. No money. Not yet anyway. Just anxiety, depression and stress.

But if Kevin was willing to take his love, to give Aaron one more chance, he promised himself Aaron would make it count. He will tell Kevin how much he loves Kevin every single god damn day. Aaron will get therapy and work on his issues. Sober up and this time for good. He will do anything to be worth of god‘s love. Just that god in his case was a twenty two year old boy with black hair, forming soft waves at the end and a smile that will make the sun jealous. Eyes made out of smaragd. Lips so sinful and kissable.

Aaron sat down in front of the door, waiting for his courage to come back to him. He could do this. He would get his man back.

Hours passed, or maybe it were only minutes or seconds after all before someone came closer. Ever so slowly Aaron lifted his head, just to look in the ever so familiar green eyes, big with shock.

„You said to stop calling. You never mentioned face to face conversations“, Aaron said, his voice hoarse.

Kevin stared at him as if he was a ghost, a reminder of his past life, something he rather wanted to forget.

„Look I know I fucked up. I know I‘m not good enough for you. I know you deserve the world and I cannot give it to you. And when you look me in the eyes and tell me you don‘t feel anything for me anymore, no love or hate or affection or whatever humans feel, I will turn away right now and go and never come back. Never bother you again. But if you allow me to apologize, if you however decide to gieve me one last chance, I prepared this whole ass speech for you“

Aaron was sure they could hear his heart beating against his chest, roaring, screaming to return home. To return to Kevin where it belonged.

Kevin‘s eyes wandered to the floor, his fingers automatically closed around his left wrist. A nervous habit. Just another little part that makes Aaron‘s heart ache.

Slowly, almost painfully slowly, he lifted those unbelieveable beautiful eyes and met Aaron‘s golden ones. Kevin studied him and the world around them stopped.

Out of the corner of Aaron‘s eyes he could see Jean going still, his breathing too calm, too even. It‘s the same thing Andrew does when someone fucks with Josten. At least his death would be fast. Or slow. Whatever. Aaron didn‘t really care, without Kevin it wasn‘t worth anygthing anyway.

„Why“, Kevin said after what feels like forever, „Why would I forgive you? Why would I give you another chance? Why would you think you can come back here just to fuck me over again? Aaron I loved you, I really did. I always will. You were my first love and maybe, yeah maybe, my last one. But right now I can‘t. I just, I just can‘t. Please leave. Please leave me alone. For now. Maybe, one day we can talk about it. But right now I cannot handle the thought of you to leave me. To tell me all these beautiful lies, to cut me open and leave me to bleed out. I love you“, tears were running down Kevin‘s cheek. Tears Aaron one day, a long time ago, promised himself he would never let Kevin feel again. Pain. Sadness. Everything because of his failure, because of his weakness, because he‘s a fucking piece of shit.

„Thank you for giving me a reason to stay. Jusst remember that you were my light, my warmth, my happiness and I never stopped loving you. Never will. Please just be happy“, Aaron replied as he turned around to walk to his cars.

When he was sure he was out of ear shot, he let himself feel. Feel the pain. Feel the loneliness. Feel the numbness and the cold and the hatred. It was in that moment, that moment where he was alone and nothing more to lose, that he decided that it was enough. He would end it. End it tonight.

„Thank you“, he texted Taylor. „I‘m glad I didn‘t eat you in the womb“, he texted Andrew. „You were not so bad after all“, he sent to Neil. And lastly „Thank you for taking me under your wing“, to Nicky. They would understand. It would take them some time but in the end they would feel better. They would be happier without them. Because at the end of the day he caused them pain and wasn‘t really worth a thing.

So when he got in his car, tears running uncontrallably down his cheeks, he knew what he had to do.

[bewaretheidesofmarchyall]

Soulmate Shenanigans

So, lucky me, I found this list of prompts!

Unlucky me, it was for a September event. Surprise, surprise, this is not September

That isn’t going to stop me from doing this, though!

So, without further ado, prompt number one!

Your Soulmate’s name is written on your wrist or palm

Warnings for death mentions galore and drowning, as well as something that isn’t drug use, but if drug use is a triggering topic for you I wouldn’t recommend you read

Not as angsty as these warnings would suggest, but there is still Angst

I don’t know how it got angsty I just work here

World building

The first recorded instance of a palm mark was when Lady Natalia of Venice nearly drowned in a canal

She’d been on her way home from a party alongside her fiance when she “tripped” (the word “tripped” here means “Was pushed by her fiance for financial reasons”) into the river. Her husband-to-be quickly exited the scene, leaving her to be weighed down by her skirts and die.

Angela (forger of swords and mixer of poisons, just happened to be in the neighborhood when she heard a scream and a splash) had other plans. She dove into the water, saving Natalia and cutting her hand in the process.

The two women spent a good deal of time together after that, the scientific Natalia claiming that she only wanted to know why her name was on Angela’s hand.

Some historians claim that the two were platonic soulmates. While this is possible, and platonic soulmates have a long and wonderful history, no one with common sense believes this to be the case

They exchanged love letters that were quite clear that the attraction was a romantic one.

Some historians also claim that there isn’t enough evidence to suggest that they killed the fiance.

Those historians are wrong.

Anyway, in modern days 97% of the population has a palm mark with the name of their soulmate

The tattoo industry has never had so many illegal opportunities

When your soulmate dies, the name doesn’t scar. It doesn’t blister, burn, or black out. All that happens is a thin, impersonal line crossing their name out. Some people don’t notice who they lost for days.

There’s a process to remove palm marks. However, it’s illegal and possibly fatal for the soulmate being removed.

Our Characters

Roman: Roman was confused by the name of his soulmate.

Who names their kid “Janus”?

Am I soulmates with a roman deity? The heck?? SO MANY QUESTIONS AND SO LITTLE ANSWERS

Roman was so excited to have a soulmate. He kept entire journals filled with things he wanted to tell Janus, part diary, part scrapbook, and part love letter. He would doodle hearts around his palm mark.

One night, in April, Roman went to sleep. In the morning, there was a line across his palm.

His soulmate had died, and he hadn’t even seen the line drawn. He broke a little.

Enough said.

Roman took the passion that he’d had for his Janus and channeled it into his acting. If he couldn’t get love, he’d get a fucking Tony Award.

Remus: Remus had been annoyed by his brother’s complaining.

“Oh, boo-hoo, my soulmate has a rare name. That means that as soon as I meet him, I’ll know exactly who he is! Roman, DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY PEOPLE ARE NAMED LOGAN”

Remus was annoyed that his soulmate had the audacity to have a common name. In theory, he could date all of the 18,000 Logans in the country, but does he really have the time?

He and his brother bicker about this for a solid seven years, until the argument abruptly ends. Ever since then, he’s been on his brother’s side in everything he can.

Logan: It made total sense for Logan to not have a soulmate.

His soulmate would have been unlucky, being stuck with a know-it-all like him, at least according to most of the people he knew.

This was a simple solution to the puzzle.

It wasn’t helpful to waste time wishing for a different one.

Janus: Janus had a whole plan for when he met his soulmate.

He wrote it down in 10th grade

Step 1: Wear gloves

Step 2: Find Roman

Step 3: Say something witty

Step 4: Remove gloves, revealing palm

Step 5: This little mystery is over and done with, and hopefully my soulmate isn’t boring

This was how a lot of Janus’s plans would work. Solid ideas, but missing bits and important pieces. This includes his heist plan he scribbled out on a napkin on an April day.

Step 1: Find local con-artists

Step 2: Pretend to be a person with money (which I obviously do not have)

Step 3: Scam them

Step 4: Don’t get murdered on the way out

Step 5: Profit

He pulled off steps 1-3 with ease, but step 4 proved to be a sticking point.

As he escaped via the river, with money in his hands and a “so long, suckers!” on his lips for drama, he thought nothing could go wrong

Fun fact: It’s rather common for con artists to fatally give away their positions by yelling “so long, suckers!”. Just ask Odysseus as he sailed away from the Cyclops.

The con artists shot wildly at his boat, blowing it to pieces. As he went down with the ship, he barely had enough time to think this can’t be happening, and fuck this and I’m going to die at the same age as Philip fucking Hamilton and I really don’t want to go to hell before his lungs filled with water and his heart stopped.

And Janus died.

For a solid two minutes.

Technically, death is when your heart ceases to beat. Even though people have been revived after their hearts have stopped, it is death, and enough to draw a line across a sleeping Roman’s hand.

Janus, however, was saved by an old man, who dragged him out of the river and forced the water out of his lungs. The old man took one look at the teenager and decided that he needed better role models, which is how Patton took Janus under his wing and saved his life in more ways than one.

The Actual Plot

Roman is in a city production of Hamlet. His brother is in the audience, his friend is fixing the lighting, and he’s ready to go.

It’s a pretty good performance, by all accounts, but especially according to Janus.

He’d already been watching the main actor intently, smiling from the mezzanine, but he was even more intrigued when he read the playbill and realized his name was Roman. He could barely pay attention to act five as he planned out the lies he’d tell to get backstage.

Somehow, he didn’t get caught sneaking around, and managed to catch a glimpse of Roman’s hand in a mirror. Janus. He really is his soulmate!

Janus walks over to Roman, says something that isn’t as witty as he would have liked (but not as bad as it could have been), and removes his glove.

Now, he expected his soulmate could have a variety of reactions. He didn’t expect Roman to yell “Not today, ghost!”, throw a prop skull at him, and sprint out of the theater. Janus caught a glimpse of the line through his name.

He was reasonably sure that he wasn’t dead? He could see his reflection in mirrors, he could consume salt, people tended to notice his existence!

Jan didn’t have much time to mull over this, as he was about to be forcibly removed from the greenroom. Logan just wanted to fix the lighting and live his life, but when strangers break into the backstage and upset Roman...

Jan skedaddles as Logan chases him out of the building. The nerd has almost caught the intruder when he runs directly into a man in a green jacket holding a coffee cup full of ketchup

Why did he have a coffee cup full of ketchup?

Remus and Logan bicker as Janus escapes. When Remus realizes Logan’s name, he asks a few questions, but Logan quickly shows his two blank palms, and the matter is settled.

Everything seems over and done with.

Meanwhile, Roman is freaking out. His mind is essentially in a loop of The fuck? The fuck? The actual fuck? He’s completely unsure of what to do. Is he seeing ghosts? Does he only believe he’s seeing ghosts? Is he sane or not?

Remus checks up on his brother at around 3 am, only to find him, exhausted, and writing in his old soulmate journal. Roman tries to explain what just happened, but the narrative told isn’t exactly coherent. All Remus can gather is that

1. His brother thinks that his dead soulmate is alive

2. This is because some guy snuck backstage and told him that he was the dead soulmate in question

3. This was probably the guy Logan was chasing

Remus convinced Roman to go to sleep, and walked out of the apartment with blood on his mind. He was sure that his brother was being manipulated.

This guy might not be dead now, but he would be soon.

Meanwhile, Janus proves that he can, in fact, cross a salt circle, so he must be alive! Right?? He also can’t get a certain actor out of his head, and wonders what his next move should be.

Remus recruits Logan to help him do some investigation in case Shady Liar Dude shows up. They go on several stakeouts together, in equally improbable locations. Maybe the two of them got too far into the secret agent aesthetic. Logan had always wanted to be a detective as a kid.

They fall for each other, and fast

Roman is spiraling, and a chat with Remus has him convinced that he was wrong, and Janus really is dead. He curses himself for believing in the pretty fairy-tale. Yes, because love wins in the end and they all live happily ever after. He has a performance tomorrow.

And it’s really time he got rid of the old scar.

You don’t hang around Remus without knowing where the black market locations are. It’s relatively easy to find the cure for palm marks.

He paces around backstage, holding a journal in one hand and a small bottle in the other. The warning that destroying the palm mark destroys the soulmate causes terror to rise in his throat, even though he knows that Janus is dead and can never read his love letters no matter how many stars he wishes on.

He finally makes his choice when Remus and Logan visit him before the performance. They give him looks of pity. He doesn’t want to be pitied.

According to the label, effects should take place over the next several hours. So, he waits for Janus’s name to disappear from his hand.

Janus managed to hustle someone with orchestra seats for their tickets. Despite not getting off on the right foot with his soulmate, he isn’t going to let him go that easily. And Roman’s brilliant performance that night just reinforces that. If he was good weeks ago, he was a star now. Janus was transfixed.

When the curtain call came, Janus was the first on his feet for a standing ovation. Remus and Logan noticed him, and pushed their way through the applauding audience. Both of them almost hoped that he’d get away again so they could continue spending time together.

Roman notices him. They lock eyes. Janus waves as though to say Hi, I’m here, apologies for the awkwardness of our meet-cute, but coffee? Roman gives him a look of disdain, as if to say I can’t believe I thought you were my soulmate, you con artist. He intends to look away and bask in the applause, but before he can do that, Janus collapeses.

Roman is confused at first, and then it clicks. That’s his soulmate. That’s his Janus.

And he killed him.

Pandemonium breaks out. Roman leaps off the stage, Remus freezes in panicked comprehension, the crowd scatters, and several people try to reach the dying man.

Logan gets there first. His mind scans memories of hours spent in libraries, researching everything there is to know about palm marks. Why didn’t some people have them? How did you lose them? How could you get them back?

He instructs Remus and Roman to help carry Janus to the greenroom.

They race him there, everyone in a state of panic (including Logan, but more importantly he has a job to do). Logan tells Remus to run and get a few basic ingredients, and they wait. Time moves much too fast and much too slow, until he comes back.

Logan works chemical wonders, piecing together Roman’s hand until everything is stabilized.

A vicious scar, the type you’d except if your soulmate was really gone, forms on Roman’s palm, and it will stay there for the rest of his days.

Janus comes back from death’s door for the second time.

After The Drama

Logan and Remus eventually move past the “but I don’t have a soulmate” “and yet I still am in love with you” dithering and go on a date that isn’t for the purpose of stalking a supposed stalker.

They go to the aquarium.

Meanwhile, there’s a lot to work out between Roman and Janus. From “wow, you’re not dead” to “wow, I nearly murdered you”, we don’t have time to unpack all that.

But they do get coffee. And they talk.

Soulmate stuff! I really like soulmate aus, despite not liking to write straight up romance

It’s weird

Anyway, hope you enjoyed!

[hiddles-evans-hallucinations]

How Did We Get Here? - 4

Summary: After being in a secret relationship, (Y/N) and Chris are faced with sneaky fans taking pictures of them spending time together and the press went crazy. Chris had enough of hiding. 

Pairing: Chris Evans x Famous Reader

Genre: Fluff, smut

Warnings: AGE GAP and seeeexxxyyy timeeeee. 

Note: I am so excited to write, writing has been my passion for so long and writing with my boo bear in it makes me more happy!! Thanks to the beautiful @joannaliceevans-fanficblog​ for reblogging and helping others to check my writings!!! love her already. Hope you like this one hehehe. Oh and a lil comedy :p just for fun 

*gifs are not mine* 

PART 5

After so many interviews before the Premiere in Chicago, me and Chris has been staying at the same hotel, we were informed that some fans asked the receptionist if we stay together in the same room or separate rooms, but the hotel know what answers to give. 

Before I was known, I already loved my life, I’m a normal girl, I enjoy life fully and I never ask for anything in return when doing things for others. I’m thankful in where I am, but I have always been known as a private person and even my family couldn’t get anything out of me. 

‘(Y/N/L/N) and Chris Evans having breakfast together at the Ritz Carlton’ 

I scroll down to the comments on Instagram, smiling of how red my cheeks are looking at Chris who talks about taking me to his date with Dodger. 

- ‘the fact that she’s bareface and her cheeks is all red looking at him kills me. They are so cute’ 

- ‘OMGGGG LOOK AT HOW HE’S SMILING AND SHE’S ALSO SMILING BACK AT HIM IM DEADD!’ 

- ‘I can’t believe they’re hiding all of they’re cuteness.’ 

- ‘she got taste, i love her, she’s one of us now.’ 

I laughed as Pammy surprised me by looking at what I’m reading behind my shoulder, startling me. “Oh my god,” I said, placing my hand over my chest, 

“Oh, so you’re creeping on Instagram for your so secret relationship?” 

“Stop it, I’m just, you know, trying to- actually I don’t know, it just came up on my explore so, don’t judge me.” 

“Judge you for what?” 

Chris came out of the room, looking rough, his hair is uh... everywhere, messy, shirtless. Pammy’s jaw dropped open, “Oh...” I lightly elbow her, shooting her a look. She put her hands up, “Chris, I got you spinach-apple smoothie.” Pammy hands him as he scratches the back of his head. 

“Thanks,” 

Chris looks at me, “Are you going somewhere?” my eyes widens at him. 

“We have a press interview today, remember?” 

“Oh... no.”

I laughed as I walk towards him and wrap my arms around him, he lifts me up and kisses me, I peck him over and over with my legs wrapped around him then squish my face with him like a little baby. “Get ready, bebe, we have work to do.” I said to him making him smile. 

“You’re so cute, I might just take you to bed for a bit.” 

I flushed. 

“Stop, I would, but... we don’t really have much time.” 

He smirks. “I can make it quick,” he leans as he said it so only I can hear him, my cheeks heats up more as I can picture myself with my cheeks way too red. 

“I get to you this much huh?”

I roll my eyes. “Oh no, it’s just hot in here all of the sudden.” 

He laughed. 

“Come, on, we gotta gooooo.” I whine. 

“Okay, but come shower with me?” 

“I already have my makeup on.” 

This time he’s the one that rolls his eyes at me. “Then, accompany me.” before I can say anything, Pammy said, “The interviewer’s here, I’m going to help them set everything up.” 

Chris said nothing but, “Perfect! Thank you, Pammy!” he shuts the door with his foot. 

“You’re coming with me, bebe.” 

I bury my face on his shoulders as he carries me to the bathroom. He sits me down on the sink counter as he look deep into my eyes. “You’re so beautiful,” the smile appears immediately as I look away shyly. 

“You’re so easy to love, (Y/N).” 

“Am I really?” 

He nodded as he tucks a hair behind my ear and smile. “Now.. where were we?” 

I arches my brow. “You, shower.” I pointed at the shower with my head. 

“No, that’s not where we left things,” 

“Oh yeah, you might take me to bed but we can’t so you’re gonna shower and we’re going to work-” 

Chris shuts me up by kissing me deeply, passionately that my hands find their way around his neck as he pulls me closer as if we’re not close enough. He moans against my lips and when he was about to went down, I stop him causing him look up to me, confused. 

I jump off the counter, moving him to lean against the counter and pulls his pants down. 

I can hear him take a breathe but I ignore him as I put him in my mouth and suck my cheeks in. “Baby..” 

I smiled, knowing that I’m the one that gets to him this much now. 

I work my tongue around him inside my mouth as he grips the counter and continuously moan. 

I tease him by slowly taking him out and lick every inch of him. I stood up just to kiss him and slowly trail my lips down to continue on sucking him and feeling his body trembles. 

“(Y/N)..” 

I fasten my speed as he grips my shoulder. 

“Baby.. I’m.. Com-” 

The same warmth enters my mouth as he looks down at me, waiting for what I’m gonna do. 

The taste of him slides down to my throat as I stood up looking at him, he’s in shock. 

“What? You’ve never seen a girl do this to you?” I joked as he wipes my mouth and pulls me close to him.

I can see my lipstick are gone but I could care less. “I have, but it’s you, I’m with you, I don’t need to remember if other women have done this to me or for me before. You’re mine, baby.” 

I smiled. 

I find it really sexy that he’s wiping my mouth after and holding me close, I love that about him. 

“Hmm..” I give him a slight kiss as he slaps my butt causing me to look at him with my mouth open jokingly. 

“Okay, shower, now, we need to go.” 

“Yes, ma’am.” 

I grab my pouch and walk back to the bathroom to do touch ups as he showers behind me. Chris never take his eyes off me, making me blush every now and then. 

For the past few months we’ve been together, I love that at the end of the day we’re normal people, we’re just fortunate enough to live a life like this and we never forget where we came from, maybe that’s why I’d like to keep our relationship on the down low where it’s just us and our closest people.

. . . . 

We walk into the meeting room of the hotel that was set up for the interview, Pammy looked at me with a oh-okay-glowing-what’s-up-now look, I shot her a look with my wide eyes, she respond with okay-I’ll-zip-it look with her hands slightly up in defeat. 

I changed my outfit, I was wearing a black midi casual dress, since it’s looking not so appropriate anymore, I have to iron it again but since I don’t have the time, I put on a black and white stripes long sleeved shirt and a black fitted trousers that stops in my ankle with a flat shoes. 

I redid my hair, curl it a little bit and I was done, I don’t want people to take the note, oh yeah they just did it. 

Professional on both, (Y/N)! I said to myself. 

My inner self seems to laugh at me. 

Both on what? Sexually and in career wise? She said. 

I want to roll my eyes, but Chris’ hand lands on my back as we said hi to everyone. “I thought you’re gonna be late.” the interviewer said to us laughing. 

I huffed. “Oh no, almost though, I just had to eat first.” Chris immediately turns his head to me. 

I added, “I thought you’re already here, seems like we’re soulmates.” I smiled at him, his eyes wide, his mouth slightly open. 

“Well, I hope you enjoyed your meal.” the interviewer smiled at me.

“Thank you, I did, big meal to boost my endorphins just right.” 

We sat down with Seth, the interviewer talking about the movie a little bit but other than that he said he just wants to get to know us, he wants to make the interview a little bit different than others. 

Chris was thrilled when he brings up Disney movies. 

“Okay, I have questions, you two have to say your name or the other person to answer.” 

“Oh.. Okay.” I said. 

Seth asks, “Who is most likely to get a complaint because they laugh too loud?” 

“Chris.” 

“Me” 

Seth gasps, “Really?” I nodded making a face where I scrunch my nose. “I have to go to his trailer cause he was on the phone with Anthony Mackie, he laughed so hard I couldn’t sleep.” 

“So, you’re the one who complained?” 

“Oh yeah, would do it again.” 

They all laughed. 

“Who is most likely to be on a comedy tv show?” 

“Me.” 

“Me.” I look at Chris, raising my brow. “You?” I said, rolling my eyes after. 

“What is he not funny?” Seth laughs as he ask me that. “I mean,” I gesture my palm left to right, giving him the he’s-so-so response. 

Chris added (gif), “She thinks I’m funny, she just thinks she’s funnier.”

“You did admit I am funnier.” 

Seth squints his eyes suspicious. “Did you Chris?” 

“No.” 

I laughed, placing my hand on his shoulder as I bury my face on my arm. 

“Who is most likely to take the job as a stripper?” 

“CHRIS!” 

Chris stood up, arms wide open and tries to give me a lap dance. I squealed in laughter trying to get his butt out of my face. 

He hugs me after as I was still laughing with tears started to build up in my eyes from laughing too hard. “Oh my god.” I said. The whole room was filled with nothing but laughter and cameras clicking from their phones. 

“Gotta love this guy.” I said before Seth ended the interview. 

“Love this gal.” Chris added. 

[hayden-thefuck-whywouldyoudothis]

HAYDEN LORE

for @thatoneao3writer because i am too lazy to send an ask rn

not the happiest with how this turned out, but i believe it will suffice for now.

So, you know the hc that Glatt would haunt Michael on the Dream SMP? Well, guess what? I am obligated to traumatise a child as the Dream Kinnie of the discord, and so, I will be taking the place of Glatt.

The murderer replaces the dictator.

-------------

Silence.

It always starts with silence, doesn’t it?

And for good reason.

It’s pure.

A clean slate.

Always was, always will be.

Right?

“No.” He shakes his head, “No, it’s not right. Listen, listen to me, Tubbo.” Ranboo grabs Tubbo by the shoulders, the optimal way to get the teen to listen, especially when he’s being stubborn. “You have to let him move through grief on his own. You can’t force it. You- you can’t-” Ranboo’s voice breaks, and Tubbo’s face softens, giving the taller a firm hug.

“Boo? Bo? Is everything okay?” Michael had snuck up on them. Tubbo and Ranboo share a look, before Ranboo forces a chuckle, picking his ‘son’ up to give him a hug.

“Hey Bub. Everythings just fine.” Ranboo assures the child, giving him a tight hug. Michael feels tears on his dad’s face, and pulls away from the hug. He watches his fathers face, contemplating. He giggles all of a sudden, putting his small hands on Ranboo’s cheeks, feeling him give a small smile, tears still streaming down his face.

“Dad!” Michael smiles. “I love you.” Ranboo smiles, pulling all three into a hug. After a beat, they separate, and Ranboo let's Michael down on the floor, urging him to go play and let the other two talk.

The tears are still there.

He does a good job of hiding the pain.

…

Michael listens.

What else would he do?

The two most important people in his life were distraught and trying so hard to hide it.

The more he listened, the more he learned. ‘Their close friend Tommy was grieving. They had all lost a friend. Their friend named Wilbur. He was a bad man, but he had been a good friend. He killed people. He-’

“So did I. Doesn’t make anyone special.” Someone says from behind where Michael is sitting. He looks around.

“Wh- who- who said th- that?” He manages to force out, There is a chuckle to his left, the voice sending shivers up his spine. There was something not right about it, it was off. Something moves, and a humanoid becomes visible. They are transparent, but their hands are burnt black, covered in ashes.

“Michael, right?” They ask, floating closer, eerily. Michael nods, recoiling when they offer a handshake. “Hmm,” They look Michael up and down, evaluating, analyzing. “You know, it feels good to be back.” Michael takes another good look. At first glance, they seem completely normal, at least before they speak. But then you look closer. You see the burn marks, and the ash, and the blood.

‘Why is there so much blood?’

“Well that has an easy answer! You should really be asking harder questions, Michael.” They laugh. It’s terrifying. “The blood is from the veins of the bodies dead at my feet, piling higher and higher. The blood of innocent people always was sweeter than that of the guilty.” And that's when the person moves, floating towards Ranboo and Tubbo. They don’t seem to notice. Michael gasps, and they look back at him, tilting their head and giving a smile. Without warning there is a dagger in each hand, at his parents' necks.

They don’t seem to mind.

Without thinking, Michael screams. It’s loud and heart-shattering. It’s like he was witnessing murder. Ranboo and Tubbo stop talking, running over to comfort the child. The person doesn’t move, just smiles.

“It was nice to meet me, right Michael? I would say the same in your own regard, but I’ve been watching for a long time. See you soon.”

And they disappear.

That was only the beginning.

-------------

The next time they showed up, Michael was all alone. Ranboo and Tubbo had to leave, had ‘something to do’. Tommy had come and collected them late at night, right as Michael had gone to bed, this being one of the nights that Michael was staying in the Tower. Bad had helped him get ready for bed, making sure he had his chicken plush before saying goodnight and leaving, promising that Tubbo and Ranboo would be back by morning.

Michael knew the truth, that the two people who meant the most to him were most likely in danger at that very moment. He might be young, but he wasn’t stupid. In fact, he was turning 6 soon!!! Hopefully Tubbo and Ranboo would be back soon, Michael desperately wanted to go to the park tomorrow.

“Can’t go to the park if they're dead.”

Michael pales at the voice. It’s back. ‘Why is it back?’ A bone-chilling laugh.

“Why Michael, your fear summoned me. There really is quite a lot of it. Fear of abandonment, fear of death, fear of losing a loved one, fear of being alone.” They chuckle, picking up one of Michaels toys, tossing it around as a form of entertainment, as if scaring a child wasn’t enough. “I really just saved you from that one, huh? No matter, you’re terrified of me, and that gives me all the power I could want, not that that’s what I’m after.” Michael looks at them, thinking.

‘Who is this? How did they get in here? Where are Boo and Bo? I really want them now, so I can have a hug and a brownie from the Titans kitchen. I want-’

“Hmmmm, that really is a very specific request Michael. But, you did ask one good question. Who am I? Who do you think I am Michael?”

He freezes, trying to think of what to call the person floating in front of him. After a moment, he gives up saying,

“You’re a scary man.” The person laughs.

“Well not quite, Michael, but close. I am Hayden Eyens. A hunter, a ghost, a storyteller, a prisoner, a witch, and, above all, a murderer. As for how I got in here, I can get to wherever I want or need to be.” Michael curls up against the headboard of the bed, not completely understanding everything that the person- no, Hayden- had said. But he did understand one thing.

Murderer.

It’s what everyone calls Wilbur.

“Let that sit with you Michael. I hope we talk again soon.” Hayden fades away, laughing maniacally.

Michael doesn’t sleep that night.

-------------

It doesn’t end there.

Hayden shows up at the worst times, feeding off of the fear that Michael hates so much. Every once in a while, Hayden’s visits are nice, and they just talk, and Michael learns, listening to the stories told so colourfully that it was like looking at a painting. He learns about how Hayden had grown up, having a similar start in life to Michael. Loving parents who were no longer there for one reason or another, eventually leading to the ghosts' untimely demise at the hands of the village they had grown up in. Michael listens to Hayden talk about manipulation and murder. It’s not very nice to listen to, but it is preferable to the bad days.

The bad days are the days where Hayden manipulates him, messing with his mind and his sense of right and wrong. The days when Hayden possesses him, trapping his conscious inside of himself, making him claustrophobic and terrified of possession.

It makes him think of the accident. What had happened when Michael had gotten very hurt by a bad man, and he had been stuck where he couldn’t get away, couldn’t escape. Once, Hayden had explained how the possession worked.

“Your conscious is the lesser one, of course. My mind pokes and prods and searches until it finds a way in. And when it does-” They smile. “When it does, my mind takes control. And it forces your mind into a tiny, tiny box. It is so refreshing. An escape from my own guilt.” Before Michael could even ask what they felt guilty for, Hayden was gone again, sure to return soon enough.

It went on for a long time, day in and day out, never subsiding long enough for a true break or recovery. The manipulation and the fear and the claustrophobia grow worse, almost to the point where Michael often couldn’t be left alone in some rooms in Bo’s house, Uncle Tommy’s house, or even the Titan’s Tower.

And one day, out of the blue, Hayden disappeared. The most peculiar thing happened as well, for right before Hayden had disappeared, Bo and Boo had seen them. They had flown at the trio at the Bee n’ Boo late one night, and they had freaked out. That was why Michael freaked out as well. Not because a ghost had flown at him, for he was used to that already, but seeing his favourite people freak out.

Later, Michael heard Ranboo and Tubbo talking. Apparently, there were more people like Hayden, though they weren’t all bad. Tanboo and Tubbo had met them. To repeat what Tubbo had said, it had ‘scared the shit out of them’, whatever that meant.

And that was the end of it.

Or so he believed.

Once a killer, always a killer.

-------------

HELLO

Quick and easy, here is some info about this:

1)This is tied to my fic and that will become somewhat evident in the next update.

2)This takes place during the aftermath of Wilbur's death, before the Askers were introduced to the Titans and the HIVE and such.

3)This was kinda difficult to write, ngl. Michael is very young in this AU, so it is difficult to use complicated themes. Therefore, my solution is that(sticking with what is already canon) Michael was left with Tubbo when he was 3. By the time this takes place, Michael is almost 6. I’d like to think that Tubbo was about 15 or so when he “adopted” Michael, making him 17 or so at this point.

4) I know that the trauma was not super apparent in this, but I feel it is important to establish Michaels trauma and fear of ghosts and Wilbur for my next fic update.

Alright, I am off to work on the next update.

Talk soon,

Hayden <3

o7

[vintagedolan]

If you’re not too busy. I was wondering if you could write about Raleighs first Halloween plz. I miss that little girl or if not Raleigh then maybe dad!gray and his kid’s first Halloween.

omg I can do a quick little one for that cutie, I miss her too!  

---

This was not, at all, how he had envisioned his daughter’s first halloween. Sure, he knew deep down that it wouldn’t be exactly like he’d always pictured it in his head. But this? He never would have imagined that at 4 pm on halloween he would be standing by the kitchen counter trying to fight back tears with Ethan leaned up against him in a show of support.

“She’s not even going to remember it. It’s okay.”

“Every kid has pictures of their first halloween, and we had this whole thing planned and now... it’s a three part costume and she’s just fucking gone. What the fuck am I supposed to do?”

He ran his hand over the top of Raleigh’s hair to calm himself down, tucking his chin so he could kiss the top of her head as she sat in the little carrier he was wearing.

The costume had been her idea after all - Jessica’s. Raleigh’s mother. They’d been planning since the beginning of the month to go as the sun (Grayson), a rain cloud (Jess) and a little rainbow (Raleigh). 

But it’s a little hard to pull off a trio costume when one party decides to leave the family and never come back. And in the midst of a custody battle, Grayson hadn’t thought of the fact that he needed to make a new costume for his daughter until it was far too late. 

“Okay. I can find something, we can make it work. We got this, just... here, c’mon.”

Ethan practically dragged his brother into the nursery, pausing for a moment.

“I need purple pants, a pink shirt and white shoes.”

Grayson went along with it, opening familiar drawers and pulling out a few options of different things. His daughter didn’t own a lot of pink, but he managed to find everything his twin had asked for, down to the white converse that were still a bit too big for her. 

“Okay, put her in that, and I’ll be back in 10, I gotta run to my place.” 

In all their years together, Grayson had just learned that sometimes, it was better to let Ethan do whatever he wanted to. So, he did as he asked, unhooking the carrier and gently guiding Raleigh’s little legs out. 

She was a happy baby - laid back since the first day of her almost 7 months on earth, and today was no different. Though, Grayson liked to think that she knew how he was feeling sometimes. 

It made him feel less alone in the world.

“You excited for Halloween bubs? Hmmm? Looks like we might get to go trick or treating after all, even though daddy sucks, uncle E might just save the day. Let’s get you changed, yeah? Yeah?” 

And the way she smiled up at him made him feel like he was right - because it was one of the few sights that could brighten his mood no matter what. He changed her diaper and got her dressed quickly, thankful that the abnormally warm new jersey temperatures meant she could still wear a short sleeve onesie. 

He was just starting to piece it together when Ethan made it back, a wad of blue and purple fluff in his arms. 

“I know you don’t like reusing costumes, but I think it’s warranted this year, yeah?”

“Yeah.” His brother’s thoughtfulness almost made him cry again - he hated feeling so out of control of his emotions, but Ethan had been so supportive since Jess had left, and he had the sudden realization that he didn’t thank him enough for it. 

He pulled the Sully costume on quickly, opting out of the shoe covers for practical reasons, scooping up Raleigh and carrying her into the bathroom to look in the mirror. 

Even he had to admit, they were adorable. Raleigh grabbed onto a tuft of the blue fluff and giggled up at her dad. 

“Okay, c’mon, c’mon we’ve gotta get some pictures before it gets too dark out!”

Grayson obliged, spirits a bit lifted as he carried her on his hip out to the backyard. Ethan directed them through an obscene amount of photos, a few of him holding her in front of him with her legs dangling, even a few with her on his shoulders. No one could make Raleigh laugh like Ethan could, and even without looking Grayson knew the pictures would be adorable. He made a note to actually get them printed and put into her baby album. 

And so, last minute halloween was a success thanks to uncle Ethan’s determination to make it so. The new, or original per say, trio made their rounds in the neighborhood, graciously accepting the compliments on their costumes. 

Grayson found a kid who was trailing behind his friend group on the sidewalk to give away the non-vegan candy to, wishing him a happy halloween as they headed back home at dusk. 

Raleigh seemed too cozy against the warm fur for him to think about taking it off, and he rocked her to sleep in her rocking chair as Sully minus the paws, running his finger over her nose to get her to close her eyes and give in for the night.

Once she was down he headed back into the kitchen, sitting down to see all the photos that Ethan had airdropped to him. He couldn’t keep a smile off his face as he picked out his favorites, most of them being captures of an adorable laugh from his baby girl. 

He selected the ones he wanted, a few of just her sitting in the grass and a few more of the two of them together, putting them up on instagram and typing a quick caption.

Got upgraded to sully this year with the cutest boo that ever was. Promise to take better care of you than the real sully did tho. Forever us two baby girl, can’t wait to see what costume you pick next year!

[starkerintheparker]

starker reclist - canon based fics

Hi Starker fam! To celebrate my 900 followers I decided to finally start posting my humble and very personal reclist. I’ve been planning to do it for a while now but it got way bigger than I anticipated so I decided to split it in 4 parts and will share the first one today. I’ve been around for less than a year and there’s a lot I haven’t read yet so my plan is to update this list as I go. 

Under the cut is part I, solely is dedicated to canon-based fics. I’m a sucker for angst so most of my recs feature guilty!Tony, miscommunication, porn with feels and all that jazz. Hopefully you’ll be able to find something interesting according to your preferences. Oh and don’t forget to leave kudos, comments and spread the love for these authors :) Cheers!

Last updated: 2020/04/18. All new fics added will be marked with ***

• 10 Ways to Woo Your Boo by @darker-soft-starker (NR, 6k, completed)

Summary: By twenty-one Peter Parker had graduated college, scored himself a post-grad job and was a full-fledged member of the Avengers. He had his own apartment, paid his own bills and juggled his time between being a superhero and working enough to cover his rent. So long as Peter was armed with his ID, he was a full-fledged adult in the eyes of the law. Perhaps foolishly, he’d assumed it would make him an adult in the eyes of everybody else too. Keen to be seen as worthy of Tony's heart, Peter enlists the help of his friends and the internet in courting his former mentor.

Review: We all love Ash’s fantastic AUs but this lovely canon-based fic may be one of my favorite works by her. I will never know how she manages the fine balance between angst, humor and romance, I just know it hits me good and takes my breath away. Oblivious!Tony and Peter being a bisexual disaster at wooing, what do you mean this wasn’t in the movies? Sounds canon to me.

• 100-Point Restoration by Destina (T, 8k, completed)

Summary: Tony needs a happiness upgrade; Peter wants Tony. These goals might be compatible. (This story is set roughly five years post-Homecoming).

Review: I just realized this was the first Starker fic I’ve read, and it was back in 2017! I didn’t ship Starker at the time but this author must have done something right because for some reason I couldn’t take my eyes away. This fic is gorgeous. Tony’s voice is amazing, his dynamics with Peter are spot-on and organic - but nothing’s better than watching their feelings unfold, like a soft and warm humming just awaiting for disclosure.

• adult supervision by doveslayer (M, 20k, on hiatus)

Summary: Peter Parker should not keep drunk-dialing Tony Stark after midnight. But more pressingly, Tony Stark should not keep answering. In which Tony tries to convince himself he's doing nothing wrong. warning: underage!Peter tho pretty vanilla imo                                                                                        

Review: My favorite “everything is happening while nothing is happening” fic. Their voices are spot on, the dialogues are clever, and you can almost touch the tension with your fingertips. It’s been a year since the last update but even if this fic never gets finished I promise the read will have been worthy!

• Attached by @paspleurer (E, 7k, completed)

Summary: Tony gets it, he really does. As far as rebounds go, sleeping with your childhood hero isn't half bad. And if what Peter wants is this— just sex, with no strings attached— then Tony will give him this.

Review: Pleurer and Learned Foot have seduced me with the rebound trope. This is a lovely Tony POV with the good old pining + miscommunication combo, plus enthusiastic sex and sweet domesticity. What else could I ask for?

• Covet by RTC anonymous (E, 34k, completed)

Summary: Peter has a new boyfriend. Tony starts drinking again, for unrelated reasons.

Review: I read this fic when I was still warily lurking around the Starker fandom and it blew me away. The sexual tension is so palpable you can almost taste it. There is jealous, guity Tony failing at mentoring and a vulnerable, smitten Peter Parker trying to make sense out of it. RTC anon is a religion.

• Ephemeron by @ramblings-from-elsinore (E)

Summary: "Being around Ned, Peter's reminded how out of place he is. For Ned, the second ever appearance of aliens over Manhattan is the stuff of excited hallway chatter, of where were you when—? Ned’s world wasn’t blown apart and stitched back together. Because Ned doesn’t remember. No one does, except the ones who were there, who fought." AKA, "Tony's relationship with Peter may be unconventional, but they’re unconventional people who have had some pretty fucking unconventional experiences." In which Tony can't stop touching Peter to make sure he's real, and Peter dreams of being in Tony's arms and not disappearing.

Review: I started reading this fic before I joined the fandom and man, what a way to get pulled into this ship. Brace yourself for hardcore guilty!Tony being all over the place plus unhealthy codependency and touch deprivation, all the good things. Reading this is a spiritual experience but fair warning: this is not a happy story, at least not for a long while, so please mind the tags.

• Expiration Date by @learned-foot​ (E, 12k, completed)

Summary: Tony knows exactly what this is. First big breakup, go for a fling with a completely inappropriate person. It’s basically a cliché. He kind of thought Peter was better than that, but apparently being brilliant and one of the bravest people on the face of the planet doesn’t mean he’s immune from being a stupid college student who makes stupid college student mistakes. AKA Tony is sure this is just a fling, and he deals with that about as well as you’d expect.

Review: Ahh my beloved rebound trope and my first rec (out of many) by LF! Between a pining, insecure Tony making all the wrong decisions and a young and confident Peter unwilling to let him go, this fic makes your heart ache in the best ways. Good thing LF only works with happy endings!

• From Thy Bounty by @ibby-writes​ and feyrelay (E, 31k, completed)

Summary: Tony’s eyes are always dark, but now there's almost no iris left. He looks hollowed out. There’s something terribly hungry there, despite the feast they've filled themselves on.

Review: I’ve lost count of how many times I reread this insanely hot and ridiculously well written fic. Besides the A+++ characterization, there is delicious food porn foreplay followed by a breathtaking cat and mouse game that culminates with no less than 13.5k of intense and unapologetic sex with feels, my favorite kind. Enjoy the meal! ;D

***Gift of Choice by tuesday (E, 12k, completed)

Summary: Tony Stark had a thing about giving Peter stuff.

Review: This is my favorite fic by tuesday and the PERFECT rendition of our beloved sugar daddy trope. Great pacing, amazing dialogues and a breathtaking build up that makes you both smile and sweat in anticipation. They’re so in love I almost can’t handle when they finally get together. Sexy, hot and very sweet.  

• here is my hand, my heart by belatrix (E, 16k, completed)

Summary: Mostly, Tony had tried not to look. He still does. Try, that is. It’s just― it’s getting a little bit harder every day.

Review: I have a HUGE soft spot for this beautiful masterpiece, because it was the fic that finally made me join the Starker fandom. I’ve reread it so many times and it never fails to amaze me. Through an atmospheric non-linear narrative, this shows a guilt-ridden Tony Stark trying and failing to resist one determined Peter Parker who won’t take bullshit for an answer. Hot, and angsty, and breathtaking.

• I know that you got Daddy Issues (And I do too) by feyrelay (E)

Summary: The one where Peter’s blue balls save the world. Because, yeah? That meandering, blooming thing between him and Mr. Stark? That relationship that continues to be maddeningly legal, platonic, and above-board, but still somehow haunts Peter’s wildest wet-dreams? That might just be the key to Strange’s endgame.

Review: This fic is a love letter to those who appreciate an angsty and nuanced slow burn like me. Possibly the best character study I’ve ever read combined with a clever, well researched and intricated plot. Reading this will make you fall even more in love with Tony and Peter as individuals, before wanting them to be better together. Make sure to also check all related fics under the tag DIEU (Daddy Issues Extended Universe) - the Starker verse we fucking deserve.

• if I am the river, you are the ocean by sadonsundays (E, 7k, completed)

Summary: The one where Tony can't sleep and Peter can't stop his hands from shaking.

Review: This is a gorgeous recovery fic, painful and heartbreaking, yes, but still very gentle as Tony and Peter’s relationship quietly unfolds. Pepper is an absolute treat which was refreshing to me. I just love the quiet and angsty undertone that guides their journey until they finally find home in each other.

if you’d grant my love a pardon by belatrix (M, 2.5k, completed)

Summary: The first time, it goes something like this: “No,” Tony says, but it’s tired, half-hearted, not quite a denial.

Review: One of the reasons why I love this ship is that there’s always room for angst, even when they’re already together. This lovely yet heartbreaking fic mirrors Tony’s fragile heart as he realizes that as much as he should, he just can’t let go of Peter, not quite yet. Belatrix writes guilty!Tony’s headspace like nobody else and I just can’t recommend her writing enough.

• in the light of a dying star by @areiton​ (M, 6k, completed) fix-it

Summary: Extremis isn't a guarantee. That's what Pepper told him, as they took him off the bloody, dusty field. It was just a chance. A desperate gamble.

Review: I’m so glad I read this right after Endgame because this is the fix-it Tony and we all deserved, this fic is so comforting and beautiful. I really love the quiet, ethereal atmosphere and how it shapes our perception of time and character development. Peter is beautifully written and their get together made my heart ache in peace.

• In the Morning by @cagestark​ (M, 6k, completed)

Summary: Peter's pretty stressed. He isn't understanding physics despite all the extra time he is spending with Bruce. And underneath it all, something is wrong with Mr. Stark.

Review: Heart wrenching and painfully honest fic, where Tony is a jealous mess and Peter is his usual earnest, sweet and good self. They meet in the middle, and it’s quiet, beautiful and sad.  

• Kiss Me by @ironspi​

Summary: Five times Peter and Tony almost kiss and one time they did.

Review: This fic was such a lovely surprise! It begins unpretentious and it builds up to quality pining and unresolved sexual tension. Chapter 4 is particularly awesome, so charged and intimate. Kudos to the author for exploring Peter taking the lead and making Tony melt in his arms.

• Landslide by spqr (M, 8k, completed) fix-it

Summary: Peter jumps into the quantum realm with his heart in his throat. He steps out in 2018, on the edge of a lake he still has nightmares about. A hundred yards away over the water, the lights in the lakehouse are on.

Review: Morally ambiguous characters + angsty time travel? Count me in. This fic has a very interesting (and darker) take on Peter post-Thanos, in his raw and desperate grief over Tony. Bonus points for amazing dialogues and a fix-it plot so clever and believable I’m surprised I didn’t see it on screen.  

• lean on me now by @areiton​ (G, 9k, on hiatus)

Summary: He’s so tired, and he hurts, the kind of screaming pain he’s struggling to ignore now, and he wants to go home. But he can do this. He can sit and watch, and keep them safe. A wry smile tugs at his lips because he knows how ridiculous that sounds--a kid keeping Avengers safe.

Review: One of the best canon divergence fics I’ve ever read. It’s quiet, angsty and Peter’s voice is simply amazing. My heart breaks for Tony, but I’m so here for Peter & Rhodey’s brOTP, the fandom deserves more of it.

• noticing by @areiton​ (NR, 2k, completed)

Summary: “You deserve to be happy,” Rhodey tells Tony once, when Tony is drinking and conflicted and Peter is sleeping unaware on the couch. Tony watches him, eyes bright.

Review: How could I ever resist seeing Tony and Peter’s relationship development through Rhodey’s protective and thoughtful gaze? Any Tony stan should read this fic because this is the kind of love, friendship and support he deserves. Reading this put my mind at rest, knowing Tony’s cared for, and safe.

• Obvious by @learned-foot​ (M, 14k, completed)

Summary: When Peter wakes up, several things become very clear all at once: he’s underground somewhere unpleasant, something is messing with his powers, and his entire body hurts. A lot.

Review: WHUMP WHUMP WHUMP *victory dance* god this one is brutal, but we can trust LF to bring on full angst with an intriguing plot and A+++ characterization. I’m so here for protective!Tony doing whatever it takes to keep Peter safe, including all the confusion and heartbreak his problematic decisions may bring.

• Permission by @cagestark​ (E, 16k, completed)

Summary: During drinks with the Avengers, Peter admits that he enjoys orgasms more when someone is giving him permission, though since he's single, there isn't anyone in his life to offer it. Generous Tony offers to offer it.

Review: This fic is unique and so very hot, but don’t let the smutty summary fool you. There is also tenderness and FEELS in capital letters. Despite their arrangement, pining!Tony is so vulnerable and so completely in love with Peter it kinda breaks my heart a little, but thankfully Cage is a big fan of happy endings like me, so we’re all safe in her hands.

***Post-Endgame NYE by @darker-soft-starker (M, completed)

Summary:  Five years after the events of endgame Tony is resurrected. Months after that, he's still trying to find equilibrium

Review: Hands down the loveliest ‘flirting on a bench’ I’ve ever seen, and my top favorite NYE Starker fic. I love to see Tony facing an existential crisis while he navigates his new life post-resurrection, including the violent realization of ‘oh no, Peter’s an attractive adult now’. Gentle and gorgeous get together, kudos at Morgan for being a little devil and playing matchmaking.

• Proxy by @cagestark​ (E, 11k, completed)

Summary: Peter wants to know if Mr. Stark knows, like, anybody who’d be willing to make out with him. Things escalate from there.

Review: I have such a big soft spot for this fic because “by proxy” is one of my favorite tropes and Cage explored it masterfully. Again, this is pining!Tony at his best and Cage just has this ability to transform what once started as a sexy little thing into this soft and gentle love story, the kind that gives you butterflies in the stomach.

• Radar by @intoxicatelou​ (M)

Summary: Peter could say that he’s officially approached desperation, but he wants this, wants Tony, and he’s willing to do everything it takes. Or the one in which Peter tries to become Tony's celebrity crush from 2009 in order to seduce him.

Review: This is one of my favorites self-indulgent fics, I just can’t resist the good old “Peter’s seduction handbook” trope and intoxicatelou delivers it beautifully. This story is sweet, super fun and relatable af. There’s A+ pining, Peter being a bisexual disaster and MJ being the queen we all stan, shocking absolutely no one.

• Revelations by RTC anonymous (E, 127k, completed)

Summary: “I still don’t get it,” Ned says. “How you just... keep being ordinary in spite of all the craziness you’ve lived through. You were in space. You helped Iron Man save the universe. And nobody knows it was you.” His tone softens, becomes almost sad. As though he realizes that what he’s saying is so completely alien to him that he will never be able to understand this part of Peter’s life. “Peter, don’t you want people to know you for who you are?” An AU where they get the Gauntlet off of Thanos that first time, on Titan.

Review: I feel like I don’t need to justify this choice – almost everyone in the fandom has either heard of or read this masterpiece, it’s safe to say this fic is part of the Starker Training Wheels Protocol lol. If you have just arrived or is just exploring the fandom and enjoys slow burns I suggest you start right hee because it doesn’t get any better than this. There’s A+++ characterization, breathtaking pining, insane sexual tension and a very satisfying ending if I may say so. Definitely among my top 3 Starker fics. RTC anon, wherever you are, please know you are loved and appreciated. I’ll literally build an altar for you.

• Reversal by @learned-foot​ (E, 4k, completed)

Summary: Sometimes, Tony is the one who needs to be praised.

Review: For once Peter makes Tony just lie down and take 😊 the fucking 😊 praise 😊. I feel like I’ve been waiting for this fic all my life. This is the praise kink Tony (and we all) deserve, genuine, gentle and powerful. If you’re a big sap for their love like I am, you’re in for an emotional ride because this is overwhelmingly sweet to the point it brings tears to your eyes. LF is such a gift to this fandom.  

• Settling by @cagestark​ (E, 5k, completed)

Summary: Peter really wants to be taller than Tony. Heels help.

Review: One of my favorites by Cage, I still remember how happy and giggly I felt when I first read it. There is A+++ characterization, amazing dialogue, Avengers domesticity, praise kink, the hottest blow job and my favorite Starker first kiss. Oh, did I mention Peter in heels and Tony loving every moment of it? You’re welcome :D

• Stipulations by RTC anonymous (E, 70k, completed)

Summary: Peter Parker’s long term dream recently went from ‘get into MIT’ to ‘afford going to MIT’. As the time approaches, it’s dawning on him that he won’t be able to pay his tuition and afford the move to Cambridge all at once: he’s out of money, his secrets are beginning to pile up, and desperation has started creeping in... And then one night, he saves Tony Stark’s life.

Review: Another fandom classic by our irreplaceable RTC anon, this fic is SO GOOD I keep coming back to it and just recently I realized I’ve built all my personal Starker headcanons out of it, lol. A+++ characterization and hot, delicious pining is a given with this author, but I’m really here for that senses-dialed-to-11 trope, and RTC delivers it masterfully.  

• subtle by @areiton​ (T, 1k, completed)

Summary: Peter is not subtle. He wears his emotion, his excitement, like a flag waved bright red and teasing for a bull—impossible to go unnoticed, impossible to ignore. It’s adorable and it’s Peter, and it’s—in hindsight—why Tony misses the context clues.

Review: This fic is like reading poetry, a balm to the heart. Peter wears Tony’s colors and by the time Tony finally gets the context clues they fall together in the gentlest, softest way.

• Take it slow by tuesday (E, 13k, completed)

Summary: There were a ton of reasons dating Peter was a bad idea. Tony loved bad ideas. He was going to do it anyway. In which Tony thinks they're dating, and then they're dating undercover.

Review: This fic is so endearing it’s basically impossible not to cheer for these two, despite their usual infuriating communication issues, lol. But I promise all the angst and wait are worth it, because there’s nothing more satisfying than seeing how they (finally!) get to be on the same page.

• the record spins on the trails we blaze by @darker-soft-starker​ (NR, 5k, completed)

Summary: Years after the events of Homecoming, Peter thought all of the bad memories were well and truly behind him. After all, so much has happened since then - and he's happy now. Everything is kinda perfect.Turns out nothing stays buried.

Review: Hell yes! I agree HoCo’s events were particularly traumatizing and this trope is not as explored as it should be. To put it simply, this fic is something I didn’t know that I needed and Ash delivered it beautifully. It’s incredibly gentle, cathartic and honest, not to mention the lovely domesticity and understanding between the characters that will make your heart swell.

• Under Someone Else by @learned-foot (M, 7k, completed)

Summary: Peter realizes he’s just a rebound. And he’s okay with that, really. Or at least, that’s what he keeps telling himself.

Review: FEELS, FEELS EVERYWHERE. It’s so hard to choose a favorite fic by LF but this is the first that comes to mind because it introduced me to the amazing rebound trope. It’s so refreshing to see this ship’s potential for angst and miscommunication playing into the “fuck first, talk later” scenario. Warning for vulnerable boys being idiots and breaking our hearts but P.P.P.S they do eventually get their shit together and it’s glorious!

• Up for Anything by tuesday (E, 8k, completed)

Summary: When it came to Tony Stark, Peter would take what he could get. In which Peter believes he's just a rebound. (Not Endgame compliant.)

Review: Of course there’s yet another gorgeous rebound rec because I can’t get enough of this trope. Honestly, LF and Tuesday writing for each other have provided some of the best fics this fandom has, God bless them. This is another treat featuring pining!Peter and the usual “I can’t communicate properly how much I fucking love you”, but there’s also bantering, delicious dirty talk and so much affection that you’ll read it all with the biggest smile on your face.

[greygullhaven]

Drabble Prompt Asks

Help me revive my muse!  Ask me with one of these prompt and any character or pairing from Haven and I will write you some little drabble or something <3 

1. “That’s starting to get annoying”

2. “Hey, hey, calm down. They can’t hurt you anymore.”

3. “You can’t just sit there all day.”

4. “I’m too sober for this.”

5. “I’m not here to make friends.”

6. “I need a place to stay.”

7. “Well, that’s tragic.”

8. “You’re seriously like a man-child.”

9. “You can’t banish me! This is my bed too!”

10. “The ladies love a guy who’s good with kids.”

11. “Dear Diary, …”

12. “She’s hiding behind the sofa.”

13. “I lost our baby.”

14. “They’re so cute when they’re asleep.”

15. “I’d kill for a coffee…literally.”

16. “You’re getting crumbs all over my bed.”

17. “Good thing I didn’t ask for your opinion.”

18. “What’s the matter, sweetie?”

19. “You’re Satan.”

20. “I don’t want to hear your excuse. You can’t just give me wet-willies.”

21. “I’m bulletproof…but please, don’t shoot me.”

22. “Did you just hiss at me?”

23. “Do you really need all that candy?”

24. “It’s six o’clock in the morning, you’re not having vodka.”

25. “I swear, I’m not crazy!!!”

26. “The diamond in your engagement ring is fake.”

27. “No. Regrets.”

28. “How drunk was I?”

29. “How is my wife more badass than me?”

30. “Be you. No one else can.”

31. “I haven’t slept in ages.”

32. “I locked the keys in the car.”

33. “Are you sure that’s the decision you want to make?”

34. “You work for me. You are my slave.”

35. “Take your medicine.”

36. “They’re monsters.”

37. “Welcome to fatherhood.”

38. “Why can’t you appreciate my sense of humor?”

39. “It’s your turn to make dinner.”

40. “The kids, they ambushed me.”

41. “Sorry isn’t going to help when I kick your ass!!!”

42. “Stop being so cute.”

43. “I feel like I can’t breathe.”

44. “You need to see a doctor.”

45. “You’re getting a vasectomy. That’s final.”

46. “I was a joke, baby. I swear.”

47. “Dogs don’t wear clothes!”

48. “I didn’t think you could get any less romantic…”

49. “Safety first. What are you? FIVE?”

50. “This is girl talk, so leave.”

51. “Where am I going? Crazy. Wanna come?”

52. “There’s a herd of them!”

53. “Do you think I’m scared of a woman?”

54. “They’re not your kids, back the fuck off.”

55. “You’re a nerd.”

56. “I’m late.”

57. “Just get home as soon as possible, okay?!”

58. “You smell like a wet dog.”

59. “I could punch you right now.”

60. “Are you going to talk to me?”

61. “Welcome back. Now fucking help me.”

62. “If you can’t sleep…we could have sex?”

63. “Flea markets don’t carry fleas, you know?”

64. “Here, take my blanket.”

65. “I don’t want you to stop.”

66. “How could I ever forget about you?”

67. “You’re bleeding all over my carpet.”

68. “Run for it!”

69. “We need to talk.”

70. “Not everyone is out to get you. Stop thinking that. It’s annoying.”

71. “I want a pet.”

72. “Just smile, I really need to see you smile right now.”

73. “I’m not wearing a dress.”

74. “I’m not wearing a tie.”

75. “Quit beating me up!”

76. “Please put your penis away.”

77. “It’s a Texas thing.”

78. “Don’t argue. Just do it.”

79. “I hope I’m never stuck with you on a deserted island.”

80. “Does he know about the baby?”

81. “Hold still.”

82. “I just ironed these pants!”

83. “Enough with the sass!”

84. “Show me what’s behind your back.”

85. “I’m not going to be sympathetic until you go to a doctor.”

86. “Fine, don’t say anything and make me worry.”

87. “Stay awake.”

88. “STOP INTERRUPTING ME!”

89. “You’re not interested, are you?”

90. “I’m not buying Ikea furniture again.”

91. “Tell me you need me.”

92. “Oh honey, I’d never be jealous of you.”

93. “I’m telling you. I’m haunted.”

94. “I had a bad dream again.”

95. “Have I mentioned, I fucking hate Halloween.”

96. “It’s Christmas, don’t be mad at me.”

97. “You’re not going to starve yourself on Thanksgiving.”

98. “The store ran out of Easter eggs.”

99. “How could you forget your son’s birthday?”

100. “You can only suffer through my whining for so long until you get up and make me a sandwich.”

101. “Come over here and make me!”

102. “Have you lost your damn mind!?”

103. “Please, don’t leave.”

104. “Do you…well…I mean…I could give you a massage?”

105. “Wait a minute. Are you jealous?”

106. “Is there a reason you’re naked in my bed?”

107. “I almost lost you.”

108. “Wanna bet?”

109. “Don’t you ever do that again!”

110. “Teach me how to play?”

111. “Don’t you dare throw that snowba-, goddammit!”

112. “I think we need to talk.”

113. “Kiss me.”

114. “Hey, I’m with you, okay? Always.”

115. “So, I found this waterfall…”

116. “It could be worse.”

117. “Looks like we’ll be trapped for a while…”

118. “This is without a doubt the stupidest plan you’ve ever had. Of course I’m in.”

119. “The paint’s supposed to go where?”

120. “You need to wake up because I can’t do this without you.”

121. “We’re in the middle of a thunderstorm and you wanna stop and feel the rain?”

122. “I’ve seen the way you look at me when you think I don’t notice.”

123. “Just once.”

124. “You’re the only one I trust to do this.”

125. “I can’t believe you talked me into this.”

126. “I got you a present.”

127. “I’m pregnant.”

128. “Marry me?”

129. “I thought you were dead...”

130. “It’s not what it looks like…”

131. “You lied to me.”

132. “I think I’m in love with you and I’m terrified.”

133. “Please don’t do this.”

134. “If you keep looking at me like that we won’t make it to a bed.”

135. “You heard me. Take. It. Off.”

136. “I wish I could hate you.”

137. “Wanna dance?”

138. “You fainted…straight into my arms. You know, if you wanted my attention you didn’t have to go to such extremes.”

139. “Hey! I was gonna eat that!”

140. “Have I entered an alternate universe or did you really just crack a smile for me?”

141. “You did all of this for me?”

142. “I swear it was an accident.”

143. “YOU DID WHAT?!”

144. “If you die, I’m gonna kill you.”

145. “Tell me a secret.”

146. “Hey, have you seen the..? Oh.”

147. “No one needs to know.”

148. “Boo.”

149. “Well.... this is awkward.” 

150. Writer’s preference- let me make my own

[btxtreads]

Halfway There || Choi Soobin

➳ When feelings you thought have changed do a complete 180 in the midst of a total disaster.

↳ Pairing: Choi Soobin x Reader

↳ word count: 4.2k

↳ genre: fluff, angst?, medical au

↳ trigger warnings: mass shooting (NOT DESCRIBED BUT MENTIONED A LOT), mentions of suicide, panic attacks, multiple gunshot casualties, minor character deaths

↳Trigger warning note: PLEASE BE CAREFUL IN READING THIS FIC. IF YOU ARE TRIGGERED BY THE THINGS LISTED ABOVE--PLEASE DO NOT PROCEED UNDER THE KEEP READING SIGN. this is in no way romanticizing a shooting or anything mentioned in the warnings above--but this is a medical fic that takes place in an emergency room in the midst of a disaster, and i found that this situation is usually dealt with in the medical field would be plausible for the emergencies they would be able to respond to but still be able to interact with. 

↳ a/n: With regards to the general plot between Soobin and Y/N,,,, i had no idea what i was writing man i did this on a spur at 3am. Please be careful in reading, and please tread lightly. otherwise, enjoy this weird soobin fic i wrote because there are no soobin fics for me to read anymore hAHA pls send me some.

Screams, wheels on linoleum floors, beeping.

All those noises are tuned out by Y/N as she panted, two defibrillators in her hands.

“Charge again. 600 this time. You, move.” Y/N commanded, pushing the patient’s brother away. “No one near the patient. We ready?”

Beomgyu, Y/N’s best friend and co-doctor, nodded firmly. 

“Alright. Three, two, one.” Y/N said, voice alert. “Charge.”

The patient’s body lurched.

Y/N’s head turned to the heart monitor, cursing at the unmoving flat line.

“Shit, again. 800. Ready?”

“Yep.”

“3, 2, 1. Charge.” Y/N commanded, defibrillators firmly planted on the patient’s chest.

The patient lurched once more, and a slow beeping started.

Y/N and Beomgyu looked up at the heart monitor which now projected varying sizes of spikes—the patient’s heart was beeping again.

“Alright, he’s stable for now. Wheel him in, OR-5.” Y/N sighed, handing the defibrillator to a nearby nurse.

“Dr. Jeon is in, we’ll page him.” Beomgyu smiled, already on his pager.

As soon as the patient was rolled out of the emergency room and into the operating room, Y/N crashed into the spare bed.

“When will this end?”

“When your shift ends 4 hours from now.” Beomgyu chuckled, ruffling Y/N’s hair.

Y/N raised her head, pouting at him. “I just wanna go get some sleep, babe.”

Beomgyu laughed and pulled her up. “I don’t think we could, but what we can do is get some coffee at the Starbucks across the street.”

“You’re treating me?”

“You’re such a freeloader, but fine.”

“You have got to be kidding me right now.” Y/N groaned as she pushed the cafe’s door open.

There sat Huening Kai, her cousin and resident doctor, happily sipping on an iced americano next to Taehyun, his best friend from college.

Across them sat Yeonjun, one of the senior doctors of the hospital and next to him is Yeonjun’s best friend, Soobin.

Soobin.

Choi Soobin—she dreaded his entire existence.

Soobin, peacefully munching on a donut, heard the loud complaint from his seat and his eyes immediately darted over to the girl at the door.

“Y/N-ie!” Yeonjun greeted.

“Hey, Junie.” Y/N smiled politely, frowning at Soobin as she approached their table.

“Hey, troublemakers.” Y/N greeted, her hand landing on Hueningkai and Taehyun’s heads. 

“Your mentor teaching you how to slack, huh?” Beomgyu teased, walking towards the line.

“Actually,” Yeonjun raised his finger. “I am not their mentor.”

“All the more. Besides, you’re still teaching them to slack.” Y/N chirped.

“You’re one to talk, you’re here too!” Yeonjun whined.

Soobin chuckled, causing Y/N to shoot him a glare. “Can I help you?”

Soobin stopped abruptly, shaking his head softly.

Yeonjun and Beomgyu exchanged glances as Y/N started doting on Hyuka.

Soobin quietly stood up, excusing himself for the comfort room.

Yeonjun turned to Y/N and whined. “What’s your problem?”

“My problem is that you’re a fully-grown adult, a medicine graduate and a practicing doctor and yet you still act like such a child.” Y/N shrugged.

“Boo.” Yeonjun huffed.

“Yeonjun,” Beomgyu sighed. “He meant what’s your problem with Soobin?”

“What do you mean?” Y/N asked.

“They used to date!” Hyuka chirped from his seat, causing Y/N to turn over to him.

“Oh, yeah. They got it on all the time at their house, Soobin was there almost everyday then.” Taehyun giggled, silencing immediately at Y/N’s sharped glare.

“You what?” Yeonjun asked, his eyes wide. “Oh my god.”

“Still finding out your name is Daniel was a bigger surprise, Daniel.”

“My name is also Yeonjun. Both are my names.” Yeonjun groaned.

“Bad break-up?”

“No, kind of?” Y/N sighed, eyes locking with Soobin who just sat down. “Soobin just gave me a good wake-up call.”

Soobin frowned. “Look, can you get over it? It was almost six years ago.”

“Seeing my ex make out with my best friend the day after we broke up was seems kind of like a hate-you-for-the-rest-of-my-life material, doesn’t it, Binnie?” Y/N said, voice emotionless and smile empty.

As Soobin opened his mouth to answer his defense, six simultaneous beeps sounded out.

The six doctors exchanged glances before checking their respective pagers.

Code brown. Shooter at Seoul Community College. First patients ETA 10 min.

Years ago...

Y/N’s eyes watered as Soobin bit his lip, his head bowed down low.

“No, no.” Y/N whispered, her eyes leaking tears—but she didn’t sob. 

She was quiet, and Soobin thought that hurt more than anything else.

“W-Why?” Y/N asked. “You told me you wouldn’t give up.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Soobin, you said you loved me.” Y/N looked up, locking eyes with him. “Look me in the eyes and tell me you don’t love me.”

Soobin gulped, looking at the side.

Of course, he loved her.

Soobin actually thinks he’s never loved anyone more than he loves Y/N.

But he can’t.

Soobin loved Y/N—a bit too much.

Too much that he was willing to throw everything away, that he was willing to just drop everything to be at Y/N’s beck and call.

Too much that he thought that he might suffer for it.

He might stop paying attention to class.

Too much that he thought of proposing, dropping is course and getting married, getting her pregnant and starting a family and a business.

That wasn’t in his plan.

When he said he wanted to be a doctor, his family made a lot of adjustments—budget cuts, his older brother going to a less prestigious college to save money, his parents taking on multiple jobs—just to give him his dream.

And now, he was here and thinking of dropping it all for a girl.

So, yes. 

He did love Y/N, but he had to choose.

“I can’t, because I do love you, Y/N.” Soobin smiled sadly. “I have to love myself and my family more.”

“Soobin, I don’t understand. I don’t—just—tell me.”

Soobin only shook his head, any explanation he would offer would be useless.

“I’m sorry. I love you.”

Y/N, red-eyed and face swollen, finally found the courage to haul herself out of bed to get some food from a nearby cafe.

After a few hours of crying, Y/N fell asleep.

Waking up the next morning to an empty bed when she usually woke up on Soobin’s bare chest made another fresh wave of tears flow out of her body until she was out and had to reload—eat and drink.

As soon as she turned to the corner, her eyes fixed on her best friend.

Seo Yeon sat on the lap of a tall, brown-haired man practically sucking his face off.

What made Y/N stop was when they pulled away, Soobin’s face becoming visible.

Seo Yeon giggled before pressing a few kisses to his neck as Y/N walked over to them slowly.

“I thought you were busy Seo Yeon.” Y/N said, causing Seo Yeon to fumble off of Soobin.

“I-I was, Y/N-ie.” Seo Yeon mumbled as she stood awkwardly next to Soobin in his chair.

Soobin only sighed.

“Busy sucking the face off of the love of my life?” Y/N growled, out of character from her usualy calm demeanor.

Soobin’s head shot up, gaze soft but shocked at Y/N.

Seo Yeon pursed her lips. “Didn’t you guys break up?”

“You didn’t know that,” Y/N smiled dangerously. “I would’ve told you if you picked up the phone, but you didn’t. Did Soobin tell you?”

“No.” Soobin hummed, his gaze set on Y/N.

“Fucking snake.” Y/N chuckled, picking up Soobin’s cold brew and pouring it over Seo Yeon’s head.

Seo Yeon’s high pitched-screech sounded out as the beverage spilled over her head and stained her clothes.

Y/N turned her head over to Soobin, a menacing glare on her face as she hissed. “I thought you fucking loved me.”

“I did,” Soobin said, settling in his chair. “I always will.”

“Bullshit.” Y/N hissed before turning, pulling her hair in a high ponytail as she angrily stepped over to the cafe counter to order.

Soobin only sighed as the cafe’s door closed. “This was the only way to make you believe I don’t anymore.”

On a totally random Wednesday, Y/N found herself breathing heavily as she rushed from patient to patient. 

She, Soobin, Yeonjun, Beomgyu, Taehyun and Hyuka all pulled on their coats as soon as they read the pager’s message and bolted back to the emergency room to prepare for the incoming patients.

The last she saw, a running Hyuka was fixing the IV of a patient being wheeled to the operating room, with Taehyun pushing the bed and rambling about Dr. Kim.

Yeonjun was screaming earlier about joules—probably using a defibrillator.

Beomgyu crashed in on her cot earlier as she was giving chest compressions to a gunshot victim, stealing gauzes before bolting to the neighboring cot.

Y/N panted as she opened the next cot, empty.

Soobin entered right after her, sighing as he collapsed on the empty bed.

“That’s for the patient.” Y/N panted, readying herself to stand and move to the next cot before Soobin groaned, pulling out his phone to narrate the situation.

“The shooter’s daughter was bullied and killed herself. So, he came to the university and killed everyone he thought was responsible.” Soobin narrated, sitting up and breathing slowly. “He’s still shooting.”

“Shit, so more patients incoming.” Y/N cursed. 

“Definitely.” Soobin sighed as he stood and pulled the curtain open, only to be greeted with another patient—a gunshot wound on his chest, abdomen and leg.

“Oh my god.” Y/N gasped, waving the responders in.

Soobin immediately set to action, pulling out IVs and preparing the heart monitor.

“Dr. Choi, get a nurse.”

“There’s no time, and they’re all busy.” Soobin refused. “I’ll be your nurse for now.”

Y/N cursed before springing into action, taking the cords for the heart monitor to help him set it up.

“He’s got a weak heart beat and were losing a lot of blood.” Y/N hissed.

“Fuck, what’s your blood type?” Soobin asked, looking up at the patient whose gaze was hazy. “Sir? Sir!”

The patient muttered incoherently, causing Y/N to face him as his eyes closed. “Hey, hey. Stay with us.”

The patient breathed heavily before forcing his eyes open to let out another incoherent murmur. “Sir! Wake up!”

“Fuck,” Soobin said, turning to pull out a fresh batch of gauzes to press to the wounds. “Sir!”

Y/N cursed. “Fuck this.”

Soobin’s eyes widened as Y/N grabbed the man and shook him away. “Hey, buddy! Don’t sleep!”

The man blinked before softly muttering out. “Blood…O…Blood…Type of… O…”

Soobin grinned, turning over to Y/N and smiling softly. “Thanks, sir.”

“You gotta stay awake with us. Okay, buddy? We’ll get you out.” Y/N faced him. “Get the blood, doofus. We need at least 3 pints.”

“Roger.”

After Soobin and Y/N wheeled their patient into an operating room, leaving him to the care of Dr. Moon before running back to the emergency room.

At least 10 more patients were rolled in while they were occupied.

Y/N immediately bolted over to Hyuka, who looked panicked as he straddled a victim.

“Kai, get off, I’ll do it!” 

Kai pulled himself off of the patient, and Y/N immediately plopped herself over the body.

“Count for me, a hundred a minute. Ready?”

Soobin’s eyes fixated on Y/N as he dashed to another cot with a ma and a stab wound.

She never looked more beautiful to him than she did a while ago, saving a life right in front of him.

Several cardiac arrests and chest compressions later, Y/N found herself at a loss in the middle of the emergency room as patients were wheeled in continuously.

“Is it still on-going?” Y/N asked as Beomgyu rushed past.

“It’s an open fire now,” Yeonjun answered for Beomgyu.

“Fuck,” Y/N cursed as a patient was pushed to a cot next to her, a black ribbon tied to the bed.

“Doc, we need someone to call it in so we can use the cot for other patients.” The head nurse rushed, causing Y/N to purse her lips and enter the cot.

The patient was a young woman, seemingly in her mid-20s, and her soft face  made her look like she was just asleep—but Y/N knew better, she knew what the ribbon meant.

Y/N raised her watch, glancing at the dark lines forming numbers that would ultimately mark the last minutes of this girl.

“Time of death, 6:53 P.M.”

The nurse thanked Y/N, setting a blanket over the patient’s face before a quick transfer from the bed to a gurney was done and the nurses started to change the bedsheets for the next patient.

Soobin’s groan and Hyuka’s voice sounded from the cot across Y/N causing her to peek over.

Hyuka panted as he fluttered around the patient’s bedside.

“Hey, Hey! Minho, stay with me!” Hyuka hissed as he shook the body.

“Min Ho?” Y/N asked, walking forward. “Son Min Ho?” 

Y/N looked down at her and Hyuka’s childhood best friend on the cot, Soobin working tirelessly as he tried to do chest compressions.

“Y/N, can you press on the wound?” 

Y/N’s gasped, her eyes watering once more as she grabbed gauze pads and started pressing down on the multiple gun shot wounds on Minho’s body.

At the back of her mind, she knew that there was nothing they could do—he was gone as soon as she heard the flatline.

She didn’t know why her body reacted when Soobin pulled a black ribbon out of his pocket.

“No, No!”

Hyuka was silent, sitting down with a blank expression as Y/N shook her head.

“Choi, no, stop.” Y/N shook her head. “I can save him—I can save him!”

“Y/N.” Hyuka said softly, looking up at Y/N. “It’s over.”

“No, no.” Y/N gasped. “Not until I say so.”

“Y/N!”

“We’re not losing Minho, okay!” Y/N muttered, pulling the black ribbon out of Soobin’s hands and throwing it to the side. “No.”

“Y/N.” Beomgyu said as he entered the cot.

“No!”

Y/N climbed the bed, straddling Minho. “I can do this, fuck the heart monitor. Beomgyu, a hundred compressions a minute.”

“Y/N, stop it.” Beomgyu said, trying to pull her off.

“No? Fine. I’ll do it myself. Fuck you.” Y/N cursed at Beomgyu, her chest heaving fast as he pressed her palms on her friend’s body.

He was cold, but she paid no attention to it.

No, he’ll be fine. 

“One, Two, Three—”

“Y/N!” Soobin’s deep voice boomed as he forcefully lifted Y/N off Minho’s body and plopped her on the floor where she unceremoniously dropped.

Yeonjun and Beomgyu helped several nurses transfer Minho to a gurney for the morgue as Taehyun consoled a silent Hyuka.

“I didn’t—I could’ve saved him—I could’ve…” Y/N muttered, rambling over and over.

“Y/N?” Beomgyu asked as he stepped forward.

“Panic attack.” Hyuka suddenly said.

“Y/N, Y/N,” Soobin said, his fingers snapping in front of her. “Look at me. Count with me.”

“I c-could’ve saved h-him.” Y/N continued, ignoring Soobin. “He c-can still live, b-bring him b-back. I can s-save h-him.”

“Think about family, think about friends. Your house in the country, your relatives there, your neighbors—“ Soobin abruptly stopped at Y/N’s glare.

“No, okay. Don’t think about it. Hold your breath.” Soobin said, causing Y/N to breathe heavier.

“I c-can’t.”

“You have to.”

“I r-really c-can’t, C-Choi!”

“Fine.” Soobin hissed before leaning in and pressing his lips on hers.

Yeonjun, Beomgyu, Taehyun and Hyuka all froze, eyes trained on Y/N and Soobin.

Y/N slowly responded to the kiss before pulling away.

Soobin breathed heavily, leaning his forehead on hers as he closed his eyes.

“Wait—what?” Yeonjun muttered.

“What was that for?” Y/N asked silently.

“You had to hold your breath, and you weren’t.” Soobin said softly as Beomgyu started to usher the others (mainly Yeonjun, who stillw anted to peek) out of the cot. “When I kissed you, you held your breath.”

“Y-You can’t do that.” Y/N breathed out.

Soobin only shook his head before leaning back in, swiftly pressing his lips on hers.

Y/N let out a soft breath, leaning back and running her hand through Soobin’s hair as their lips moved in sync.

Soobin raised his hands to grasp her waist, pushing deeper and angling his head.

Y/N groaned and wrapped her leg around his torso, pulling him closer.

Soobin moved his lips down, kissing from her lips, to her jaw and proceeding to suck a mark on her neck.

“Soobin,” Y/N grunted, sighing.

Soobin hummed, pressing his lips to hers once more.

It was then that Y/N suddenly opened her eyes and pushed him away.

“No, No. This can’t be happening again, not after I just got over this.” Y/N said, groaning as she scooted away.

“Y/N, wait—“

“You hurt me.” Y/N said, turning over to him. “You broke up with me.”

“I thought it was best at the time.” Soobin whispered.

“I loved you.”

“So did I,” Soobin said, taking her hand and pressing a soft kiss on it. “and I still do. I never stopped.”

“Bullshit,” Y/N hissed, ripping her hand away from Soobin’s grasp and running it through her hair. “Stop saying shit you don’t mean.”

“How do you know I don’t mean it?” Soobin challenged, irritated.

“Maybe because I saw you making out with my so-called best friend the day after you left.” Y/N hissed.

“It was the only way to get you to believe that I didn’t love you anymore!” Soobin argued, standing up. “All these years, I never stopped thinking about you.”

“Bullshit, why’d you break up with me?”

“Because I was ready to drop everything to marry you!” Soobin said, his hands flinging around in anger. 

Y/N froze, speechless.

“I loved you too much, I thought maybe that’s bad for me. I was the hardest thing I’ve ever done.” Soobin whispered.

“Then-Then, why?” Y/N asked as Soobin walked forward and pulled her in once more, leaning his forehead on hers.

Soobin sighed and pressed another kiss on her lips.

Y/N pulled away, breathing heavily. “Soobin, why?”

“Y/N, I never wanted to let you go, but the hardest decisions always seem like the good ones.” Soobin explained, tucking a stray lock of hair behind Y/N’s head.

“Oh,” Y/N replied, swallowing a lump on her throat. “Was i never a good decision to you?”

Soobin shook his head. “I don’t know. It was so easy to love you, maybe that’s why I thought you were bad for me.”

Y/N sighed and pushed him away gently. “No.”

“Y/N?”

Y/N stopped, opening the curtain to the cot and turning to face Soobin with pursed lips.

“You know, I wouldve done all that I could to hold on to you, but when I saw you with her, I thought you wanted me to go. It’s nice to know you didn’t.”

“I never wanted you to go, I still dont.” Soobin said, reaching out to grasp Y/N’s hand.

“I don’t believe you anymore.”

Y/N gave a sad smile, placing a soft kiss on Soobin’s hand before turning and leaving him alone.

Next to them was the distinct sound of a heart monitor flatlining.

Y/N heaved, inserting a tube in the patient’s chest after making a fast incision.

Y/N waited for a while until the patient stabilized.

“Keep him in observation. Once Dr. Seo clears up wheel him in and say he had tension pneumothorax.” Y/N yawned and patted the nurse at the back. “He’ll be alright for now.”

“Thank you, Y/N. I’ll take over now.” Taehyun says, ruffling Y/N’s hair as Hyuka enters the cot.

“Y/N, you look horrible.” Hyuka gasps, causing Taehyun to snort in laughter.

“Thanks, cousin. Nice to hear.” Y/N replied, voice laced heavily with sarcasm.

Hyuka held his hands up. “I’m just saying.”

“He’s not wrong,” Beomgyu sighed, entering the cots and leaning on the bed. “You should get some sleep.”

“I’ll be fine.”

“No, I’m serious.” Beomgyu raised an eyebrow. “You look like you’ll drop dead any minute. I’d rather you get a nap before you become an extra patient here.”

Y/N pursed her lips as she peeked out the cot, running her eyes through the emergency room.

It was a little bit calmer now, a stark difference from the chaotic messy room it was earlier.

“You guys will be fine?”

“We got it,” Hyuka smiled.

“Go to the break room, get some sleep.” Beomgyu pushed Y/N lightly. “We’ll see you in a few hours.”

“Okay, sheesh. Will do.” Y/N shook her head and started to trek her way to the second floor.

It was now silent, the break room situated between patient’s private rooms for peace and quiet while doctors take their rests.

Y/N entered the room silently, her eyes locking over a lone figure laying down on one of the bunk beds—an arm covering his eyes.

As she closed the door, Soobin sat up slowly.

“I was waiting for you.”

“Did Beomgyu and the others put you up to this?” Y/N sighed.

“No,” Soobin shook his head. “But Yeonjun sent me up to get some rest, and I knew it was a matter of time before Beomgyu sent you up, too. So, I waited.”

“So, you waited.” Y/N hummed. “Soobin, what exactly do you want from me?”

Soobin stayed silent as he stood up and walked closer. “I want you.”

Y/N turned abruptly, lips pursed. “You had me, you let me go.”

“Yeah, well I’m not making the same mistake again.” Soobin said, pulling her closer. “Y/N, I know I still have you.”

“Soobin.”

“Down there, in the ER,” Soobin asked. “You kissed me back. Was that real?”

“That was real.” Y/N replied curtly.

“And you wanted to kiss me, right?”

“Right?”

“And you still love me, right?” Soobin asked desperately.

“I do,” Y/N closed her eyes, feeling Soobin lean closer. 

“Y/N, I want you back.”

Soobin swooped down to plant a kiss on Y/N’s lips, but she only sighed and turned her head.

She walked over to a nearby bunk, shrugging her coat off. “It’s not that easy to forget everything, Soobin.”

“I never stopped loving you. It was always you.” Soobin said, following her and laying a hand on her waist. “Please, let me prove it to you.”

Y/N turned in his arms and slowly wrapped her arms around his neck. “I’m scared of you—I’m scared you’ll turn around and go once you realize I’m not something you want.”

“No, not anymore. I know it’s you.” Soobin shook his head and placed his hands on her cheeks. “The greatest mistake of my life taught me that sometimes, the best decisions are the easiest things to do—and it’s so easy for me to say I’m in love with you.”

Y/N smiled softly at Soobin before leaning up to kiss him.

Soobin laid Y/N down on the bed, not breaking the kiss as he crawled on top of her.

Y/N pulled away and ran a finger across his cheeks.

“I’m supposed to get some rest, Dr. Choi.”

“So was I,” Soobin smiled, satisfied and happy as he plopped his body down next to Y/N and pulling her close.

Y/N lifted her head to place it on his chest, laying her hand above his heart.

Y/N smiled at the rapid beat of Soobin’s heart as he tightened his grip on her waist, burying his face in her hair.

“Soobin, what happens tomorrow?” Y/N asked, starting to trace abstract lines on his chest.

“I don’t know, baby.” Soobin smiled in her hair. “All I know is that it’s still you and me.”

Y/N smiled burying her head in his chest. “I still don’t forgive you.”

Soobin smiled, the pout in Y/N’s voice and the way she snuggled in his chest was a clear indication that somehow—even just a little—she did.

“I know,” Soobin hummed. “but I’m halfway there.”

BONUS:

The morning after the emergency, Soobin drove Y/N home.

He absolutely refused to let her go without at least one goodbye kiss—or three—demanding that she free up her night for a date.

He won her over by more kisses.

After seeing Y/N practically make out with Dr. Choi Soobin, the tallest bachelor doctor you can find in Seoul Medical Center, her roommates were shocked.

To say the least, various questions was thrown left and right about Soobin.

(“Does he kiss nice?” “Yeah, his lips are soft.” “How tall is he?” “6”2, but you can literally just ask him this.” “I thought you were dating Choi Beomgyu?” “I never was, but I guess I’m dating Choi Soobin now.” “Is his dick big?” “if it’s just like I remember, then it’s huge, yes, but I don’t see why you have to ask me this.”)

At exactly 5 in the afternoon, Y/N shot awake from the alarm she set.

“7pm. See you, babe. ;)” was the short text waiting for her—sent at exactly 3:30 PM.

Immediately, she dashed into the shower.

Afterwards, she took the best outfit she could find.

At exactly 6:48, she settled into her couch and waited.

As 7:00 sharp rolled in, there were three knocks on the door.

When Y/N opened the door, she was greeted with a bouquet of roses and a smiling Soobin.

“Hi, baby.”

“Hi.” Y/N smiled brightly, leaning forward and kissing him gently. “These are beautiful.”

“I know, just like you.”

“Cheesy.” Y/N hummed with a smile, placing another kiss on his lips before setting it on a nearby coffee table.

“I know you love it,” Soobin grinned as he intertwined their hands. “Am I forgiven yet, baby?”

“I don’t know,” Y/N giggled, wrapping her arms around his neck and biting her lip. “but you’re halfway there.”