#writing while in school is fucking impossible i had to wait til i was on break and also sick to get this done

[derpcakes]

Okay, I’m never actually going to write this (for reasons I’ll go into in a moment) but do know that a few years ago I was playing with a fanfic idea where a glitched out Holy Grail manifests in rural New South Wales. An ordinary teenager just trying to scrape by ‘til graduation in this tin-pot dairy town is out on a beer run for some crappy country high school party when two supernatural beings crash through the bottle’o wall, one with a spear and one with a pair of shiny, impossibly fast pistols. She survives being caught in the fight but inevitably ends up on her arse looking up at the glowing gunslinger, who says something about being a Heroic Spirit needing a Master. Our heroine then replies “Yeah nah, get fucked”. Nonetheless, she’s dragged into this battle, and the adventure begins from there.

I had most of a cast of Servants laid out: some smartypants mage decides to summon Ned Kelly--an Australian Heroic Spirit if ever there was one, and who is naturally depicted as a hot lady--before remembering that Ned Kelly was famous for being an outlaw who embodies the quintessential Aussie lack of respect for authority. Summoned as the Archer, Kelly has a degree of independence but ultimately needs a human to keep her anchored, hence going “wait, shit” after breaking her own contract, then reluctantly teaming up with our country town hero in the scene above. Since Ned Kelly’s homemade armour is so famous (to the point where a lot of art just depicts the armour, and it’s way more recognisable than his actual face despite photographs of him existing!) the armour would be constantly on, but invisible, in the same way that Arturia obscures Excalibur. Plenty of potential here for dramatic reveals, not to mention the Themes and Motifs. 

I also liked the idea of each Master having a kind of disjointed cultural relationship with their Heroic Spirit, e.g. a young mage who’s grown up as part of the Greek diaspora in Australia summons a hero from Ancient Greek legend; a character whose noble family fled Russia during the revolution (and hasn’t lived there since) summons a staple of Russian folklore like Baba Yaga (as Rider, you know, for her walking house). These old stories are part of these characters’ heritage, but the versions that exist in lore and legend are unrecognisable from anything they’ve known due to the passage of time and the transformation of culture through the immigrant experience. I thought that could be a fun thing to play around with, you know? Especially with the Australian setting.

I also messed around with the idea that someone summons what they think is a Valkyrie (back before they turned up in FGO!) but, in a third act reveal, turns out to actually be Loki in disguise. Loki would be Very Gender and extremely fun as an amoral pseudo-villain who gets into some cheeky chats with Ned Kelly about the way humans mythologise their troublemakers while also shooting them down.

Oh! It was also going to be gay. At least, in terms of the rowdy teen heroine having a female love interest (in the form of a traumatised but deeply powerful girl from an abusive, traditional mage family. She was gonna be full of plants. The heroine was going to throw it all away and go feral to save her in the end, probably punching God in the face to do it. Do you see what I’m doing here? You gotta have the archetypes).

Anyway, while there were some Cool Ideas floating around here, I ultimately shelved and buried this thing. a) it was going to be a SUPER research intensive project, not only in reading up on the myth and history to get the Servants right, but getting my head around the intricacies of Nasuverse worldbuilding not only enough to understand it but enough to mess with it in way that would be satisfying to the reader. These plot bunnies were bouncing around my head when I was in the middle of my Honours year, and heading towards my doctoral studies, so unfortunately, much like real bunnies in Australia, they were deemed an invasive species that would suck up too many of my resources. 

And I was alright with this, because b) I realised that the thing about Fate that makes me want to write fic is its characters, not its world. So staying in the world but taking the characters out felt... well, not like my kind of creative direction. And I would need bucketloads of passion to get me through this thing, because naturally as the story of my very own Grail War it would need to be at least novel-length. And not a thin novel, either...

I thought to myself “If I’m going to do this much worldbuilding and develop this many OCs for a novel-length fic, I may as well be writing my own original fantasy novels”. Which I’m doing! Some ideas that started here have ended up being folded into other, more successful projects. My interest in exploring a trickster god character flowed right into my PhD work, which is largely about trickster god characters; and I’ve nicked and repurposed a few other elements, too, like the idea of a mage family who get their mana from a freaky symbiotic relationship with plants that they grow in their own body. I feel like my angry, take-no-shit, typically Aussie Ordinary Heroine--the girl I placed in Shirou’s archetypal role--will wander into an original project too, since she has a lot of presence and I think would be really fun as a protagonist. 

Anyway--I’m not going to come back to this, but the idea echoes in my brain every now and then, so I figured I’d share it here. What do you all think? If you could devise your own Grail War from the ground up where would you set it and who would you throw in the ring? 

[magniloquent-raven]

(pt1 here)

billy grew up afraid of finding his soulmate.

when he was eight his father caught him trying to wash nail polish off with soap and a hand towel.

he’d heard girls at school saying it was what you did when your soulmate was a boy. you were supposed to paint yourself up all pretty and find the person who matched. and it was easy enough to sneak into the vanity and steal a bottle of his mother’s nail polish. but once the paint dried he realized it would be impossible to hide from his father, and he panicked.

his mother showed him the bottle of nail polish remover after neil left. dabbed some on a cotton ball to rub at the thick layer of paint. she was silent, kneeling on the floor in front of him cradling his sprained wrist while he sat on the edge of the tub and cried.

they both had questions, but neither of them got answers.

it took billy months to work up the courage to try again.

he wasn’t sure why he was bothering, at first. he knew he couldn’t look for his soulmate the traditional way. and he was constantly terrified that his father would find the supplies he’d started hoarding. it seemed like more risk than reward, and yet. he couldn’t stop himself.

every time he was allowed to wander off in a store alone he’d slip something into his pocket. a tube of lip gloss. a compact full of shiny powders. he wasn’t even sure what some of it was, he just liked the colours. liked the pictures they hung alongside the displays. he wanted to look like that. beautiful.

and in his heart of hearts, he wanted the boy who was out there waiting for him to know he existed. whether they’d be able to find each other or not.

he’s more careful with this than he was with the nail polish. his father works saturday nights, and his mother always visits their neighbour while he’s at work. despite having the house to himself he locks his bedroom door.

the first thing he tries is the watermelon lip gloss. it’s sticky, and the wand doesn’t fit in his hand comfortably, but once he’s smeared it on he feels...good. he likes the way it catches the light. likes the way it smells. he looks at himself in the mirror and likes seeing something different.

the high doesn’t last long, it inevitably gives way to paranoia, anxiety that has him glancing at the locked door every thirty seconds, heart pounding, wondering if just maybe his father will get home from work early, and he jumps at every sound, hearing boots thudding on the porch and car doors slamming and anything that could be neil coming through the door.

cleaning himself up is hard. panic makes his hands shake, his eyes well up. he drops everything on the floor when he tries to tuck the bag away. and he has to spend twenty minutes with his back to his bedroom door getting his breathing under control when he’s finished.

but he does it again the following saturday. and the one after that.

for five months he does this. locks himself away with his stolen treasures and lets himself live a little. it gets easier as time goes on. and his mind wanders sometimes. to a future where he gets to share this with someone. the boy out there who’s supposed to love him one day.

it’s a small bubble of a dream. one he doesn’t spend too much time dwelling on. not when there’s neil’s voice in his head, telling him that no one could love a fucking freak, ‘cause fags don’t get real soulmates anyways.

he wants and he wishes, but the more he thinks about it the more he doubts. he’s never gotten a mark from his soulmate, and even if he did some day, what if his father’s right, and his “soulmate” doesn’t want him or makes him miserable or...worse.

so he does his makeup for himself.

until, like all good things in his life, his father ruins it.

he never found out what set neil off initially, something going wrong at work maybe, or the martial strife of the week getting to him. whatever it was that started it, neil eventually decided billy should bear the brunt of the fallout.

so he went through his things. said billy’d been acting cagey lately, and he was going to find out why.

and then found the makeup bag stuffed into an old sweater in his closet.

it was ugly. the things neil said that day would play on repeat in billy’s head for years afterwards. the scars his belt left on billy’s back were nothing in comparison.

the next saturday came and went. billy spent the evening curled up under a blanket not bothering to wipe away the tears dripping down his face.

by morning he’s resolved to forget the whole thing. to put it behind him. because it was stupid, and risky and childish and maybe his father was right. he’s almost convinced himself. and then he notices ink on his arm, as he reaches up to rub his eyes. messy scrawl, i bet you looked pretty crookedly written up his forearm.

he didn’t think he was able to cry any more, but he manages it.

for the first time his soulmate isn’t just a concept, or a what-if, he’s...a person. he’s a real person out there somewhere. someone who doesn’t even know billy and still wanted to reach out, to offer comfort. it’s more than he’s gotten from anyone else. even his mother. who he knows loves him, and she does her best to protect him, but when she found out about his makeup stash she just looked sad, and she’s said nothing to him about it.

but his soulmate…

can never, ever meet neil.

the thought hits him right in the chest.

whoever he is, he cares, he’s good. and neil breaks good things.

billy falls asleep that night tracing the empty space where his soulmate’s message used to be, wrapped up in worries and dreams, and terrified for someone he’s never met.

the doodles that come and go over the years are terrifying and exhilarating and billy manages to hide every single one from his father. they only ever show up during the day, and they don’t linger. something billy is both grateful for and resentful of.

sometimes he’ll watch other boys’ hands in class. check them for drawings. he thinks he’s being careful, but a girl in his chem class, becca, catches him. she says it’s only because she knew what to look for. they share a cigarette under the bleachers and she tells him about a girl who likes green eyeshadow and writes homework reminders on her wrists using stars instead of bullet points.

it takes billy six months and a couple shots of tequila to tell her about watermelon lip gloss and bet you’re pretty and they both cry when he starts to wonder if his soulmate will be disappointed that he isn’t a girl.

on a rainy april afternoon she asks him to go to a gay bar with her. he tells his father he’s going on a date. she tells her’s that she had to reschedule a tutoring session and it’ll run pretty late.

they wait til it’s dark and get ready in a dingy gas station bathroom. when she’s smearing on her eyeliner she catches sight of his face in the cloudy mirror. he wasn’t going to ask her for anything. he wouldn’t have brought it up. the twinge in his heart and a hollow feeling of longing aren’t anything new, he can deal.

he feels and empty kind of rage every time old, well-meaning relatives give max girly lip gloss kits and eyeshadow pallets and shit normal preteen girls who care about finding their soulmates actually appreciate. she always rolls her eyes and throws them away. susan will fish them out of the trash sometimes, and leave them under the bathroom sink, like if max just sees them there she’ll suddenly give a shit and start using them. like them being there does anything but taunt billy with what he can’t have.

neil watches him like a fucking hawk every time that shit comes into the house. and max doesn’t fucking care. doesn’t notice.

but becca offers.

and.

he’s not about to say no.

he should’ve said no.

it feels good at first, like it used to, it feels like freedom and he likes what he sees when he looks in the mirror, and he kisses a boy for the first time and it isn’t fireworks but it’s something, and he thinks maybe it’s going to be a good night, but then…

neil is waiting on the curb outside becca’s house. they were heading there first, because her parents wouldn’t notice, she said it would be fine, she has makeup remover he can use, he can clean up and head home and everything was supposed to be okay, except. it wasn’t.

it’s the last time he sees becca. neil tells her parents what was actually going on, and she isn’t allowed to visit him in the hospital.

and then six months of rehab, one rushed wedding and a big ugly sold sign later, neil carts them off to hawkins, indi-fucking-ana. as a “family.”

billy was certain this town would be nothing but a prison. it’d be somewhere he’d never find a place to be himself, neil would make sure of that. there wasn’t a single thing to like about this place and its bullshit small town sensibilities. for all the open space it might as well have been stone walls and steel bars.

except.

except...here was a boy with soft eyes and nimble fingers, who gets a little wrinkle between his brows when he concentrates, and is always moving, fidgeting, fiddling with zippers and touching his elbows and looking at him makes billy itch. to touch, to soothe, to take, and…

things get complicated when aimless blue waves scrawl up billy’s arm. when steve follows him out into the parking lot. calls him pretty to his face. and suddenly billy’s eight years old and realizing this shit is real. terrified of what that could mean. spinning fragile dreams like spider’s silk, hard to shake but easy to destroy.

even entertaining the idea of putting on makeup while he’s still in hawkins is stupid and dangerous, but goddamn if he hasn’t risked more for less.

he’s sure he’ll regret it. like he’s regretted every other desperate bid for freedom. but when faced with steve harrington’s smile, he can’t find it in himself to say no.

(edit: pt3 here)

[kirishimaswife2819]

Them Playing Minecraft Survival With Their S/o || Midoriya, Bakugou, Kirishima, Todoroki, and Kaminari

Masterlist

Pairings: Izuku Midoriya x Reader, Katsuki Bakugou x Reader, Eijiro Kirishima x Reader, Shoto Todoroki x Reader, and Denki Kaminari x Reader

Summary: What it’s like playing Minecraft survival with the boys

Word Count: 1.4k

A/n: So, I do this weird thing where I’m obsessed with Minecraft for like a week, and don’t stop playing it, then I forget it exists for like anywhere from 1-3 months, then remember it exists and the cycle just goes on like that. And I remembered Minecraft existed earlier today, and I decided to write this. Anyway, I’ll try to get some requests uploaded tomorrow, but I’ll have to see if I’m in the mood to write them or not. Anyway, I hope you all have a great day/night! -Danielle <3

Izuku Midoriya:

He’s very peaceful when he’s playing Minecraft

He’s not in any rush to get to the end and spends a fair amount of time working on building farms for various animals and food

When you guys play together, you do pretty much everything together and don’t leave each other’s sides for the whole game

You guys also share all your resources, and split the stuff up evenly between the two of you

When y’all go caving, you each might split up for a few minutes to go into different parts of the cave and find different things, but he’d rather not stay apart for too much longer

He’s literally so calm and doesn’t generally get too mad when he dies

It’s literally impossible for him to not tame any pet he finds, you probably have a countless amount of dogs, cats, and birds, yet every time he sees an untamed one, he’ll be like, “Hey, Y/n. Do you have any bones/fish/seeds?”

“Izuku, you have like fifty at home. No.”

If you refuse to give him some then he goes out and finds it on his own and comes back for the animal, so there’s no escaping it

He’s not really focused on beating the Ender Dragon, he only really remembers that’s what he supposed to be doing when he gets bored

It probably takes y’all like nine months til you finally get around to beating the Ender Dragon, and you play for like four hours every two days or so, since you have school work to focus on as well

Katsuki Bakugou:

Warning, he blows your shit up when he gets bored, so make sure he doesn’t get bored while your playing together

He’ll share a house with you and the same storage area, but what he finds is his and what you find is yours, unless you both agree to share it

He focuses on actually beating the game, for the most part, but occasionally he likes fucking around and doing random stuff

Katsuki sucks at building, since he’s more focused on the actual game than making anything look nice (he also can’t build to save his life, but if you asked why he’s so bad at it, he would use the excuse that I just mentioned)

Doesn’t waste his time on taming animals, except for wolves

He gets two wolves, breeds them, and then makes an entire army

If you piss him off bad enough, he will not hesitate to make them all stand, before hitting you, so that they all attack you

He doesn’t play too often, since “school work is more important”, but you probably play, at the minimum, once a week, but most of the time you play twice a week

You would probably end up beating the game, after a few months, but it honestly depends on how often Katsuki decides to blow up your stuff, or just blow up stuff in general

Eijiro Kirishima:

He likes to try and build and make your world look nice, but he really sucks at it, but don’t tell him that or he might get upset. You called something he built ‘weird’ once and he took it personally, and didn’t want to play the game anymore

He’s always sort of got the goal of beating the Ender Dragon in the back of his mind, but he mostly just focuses on building and having a good time

He only has about one, at most two, of each pet, but he gets emotionally attached to them and if one of them dies, he will probably cry, and he also insists on hosting a whole funeral and building a grave for it (honestly, I would do that too, so I can’t blame him)

He also will give you all of his resources, without you asking, and you’ll be like, “Kiri, why don’t you have any armor” and he’s like, “Oh, I gave you all my iron. It’s fine though! Don’t give it back, I can live without armor!”

Then y’all get an aggressive war of passing back the iron between the two of you, until you get sick of it and just take the iron (but you sneak on his phone/computer after he goes to do something and you make him armor and put it on him)

This man protects you with his life, like you’ll be fighting like one skeleton and he’ll be all dramatic and try to protect you

It’ll probably take like a year or longer to beat the game when you’re playing with Kirishima, because he likes to, not necessarily mess around, but he likes to waste time on building useless stuff and playing with your animals and all of that

You two play almost every day for at least an hour, unless you have the day off, then you play longer

He really enjoys playing with you while your cuddling, and it’s one of his favorite things to do

Shoto Todoroki:

He had never played Minecraft but then he saw Kaminari playing it and asked him what he was doing, and then after Kaminari explained the game to him, he went to you and asked you if you’ve played it before and if it was fun

He has no idea what he’s doing, so he follows you around the whole time, as you try to teach him how to play the game

You’re going to have to teach him literally how to do everything, even if it’s simple, he lacks common sense when it comes to these kinds of games

He is the most gullible person too, like if you tell him a certain something about the game, that very obviously isn’t true, he will believe you

Once he gets a hang of the game, he still chooses to follow you around, and if he doesn’t he’ll ask you what you want him to do while you’re off doing something

He doesn’t tame any animals, because he doesn’t really see the point in it

You always have to tell him what he should do, if you don’t then he’ll sit there and just wait for you to tell him to do something

Shoto actually has a lot of fun playing the game, since he’s never played any video games before and as much as he just sits around doing nothing except staring at your screen and waiting for you to tell him what to do, he still manages to have a good time

How long it takes you to beat the game, is solely based on on your pace and your pace alone, since Shoto will just go along with whatever your doing

You two don’t play often, just whenever you two get bored and want to play something together

Denki Kaminari:

Depending on the day, he’s either really focused on actually playing the game, or he’s fucking around the whole entire time

Most of the time it’s the latter though

This man made an entire army of chickens and a very poorly built castle for them as well

He doesn’t tame too many animals, maybe a few of each, but that’s about it

He’s not a big fan of building, unless it’s to do something stupid with the building (e.g. the castle for the chickens)

Freaks out at the sight of any monsters, even though he has no problem killing them

Denki has a tendency to rage when he dies, but it’s never too bad

You guys share all of your resources, and if you try to not share with him, he will bug you until you do (he’s totally willing to share his with you too, though)

He thinks its funny to hide the item you’re looking for in a chest (if it’s like string or something that’s common and easy to get), so you’ll go out and get some, only to come back and find the item you were looking for in the same chest you were looking in before

Plays Minecraft at least two hours a day, but most of the time longer than that

Sometimes he even tries to sneak and play it during class, but the teacher always catches him within like two minutes because he talks to himself when he plays

If I’m being completely honest with you, you and Denki probably never make it to the end of the game because you’re too busy messing around, but both of you are perfectly fine with that

[theshinsun]

There it issss! 

Today on ANR... Aomine Daiki’s terrible, horrible, no-good very bad day.

Title: Ain’t No Rest

Author: Shinsun

Pairing: AoKaga

Rating: E for explicit content

Summary:  Life is tough for a single parent…especially a high school dropout parent living on odd jobs and gambling basketball named Aomine Daiki. Life gets even tougher when actual, challenging opponent Kagami Taiga appears and proceeds to fuck all of his shit up.

Enjoy!

--------

Daiki knew what was coming before Satsuki opened her mouth.

He’d been lying still with his back against her mattress for the last five minutes, his gaze not straying from the ceiling, just breathing in the aftermath, but he knew that she was going to break the silence eventually.

As usual, even without looking at her, he’d read her right...

[aweecrush]

Prologue

Tuesday, October 16th 2007

“Jesus, I can’t believe you’re actually in the fucking plane - took you long enough! If I had known it took a wedding to get your arse back home, I would have had a couple by now, for God’s sake .”

“Michelle, you promised you wouldn’t start! ” Clare’s reproachful voice rose.

“Aye, first, I didn’t promise shit, and second, I told you, she’s not chickening out so chill out - right Erin?”

Despite the culpability and shame pricking at her skin, her heart warmed at their traditional bickering she wished she’d hear more often. At their voices. And, most of all, at knowing that in a few hours, she’d get to hear them for real.

Feck, she’d missed these eejits.

“Well, I’m not actually in the plane yet, we’re waiting to board. And then I still have that stupid long flight, and then the stupid long wait at stupid London, so don’t wait up - but yes, I’m definitely on my way,” she promised, earning herself an earful of high pitched cackles and happy swears.

Her heart welled up.

“So, how is the bride doing? She wasn’t home when I called earlier, and all Mammy could talk about was how the caterer was driving her crazy and how aunt Sarah almost set her own hair on fire trying a new hairdo she’d like to nail for the ceremony.”

Michelle snorted. “ Yeah, hilarious so it was. You should have seen your dad’s face, mental. ”

“It was terrifying,” Clare corrected, apparently still shaken.

Then, perked up. “Orla’s going to look so cute though - I can’t wait for you to see the dress!” Erin tried to ignore the sting of not having been there for such an important moment.

“We’re still trying to convince her out of drawing anything on it, but I’m not sure we’ll win this one, to be honest. Also, we’ve got everything almost ready to go for the bachelorette party, although I do need you to help me stop Michelle from bringing the tons of drugs she wants to, because - ”

“For feck’s sake Clare, Orla would love it! The girl is tying the knot, she deserves to get properly shit faced.”

“She said she wanted something small!”

“She said she would have liked to have a little something with just the five of us the night before. She never said anything about the actual bachelorette party being small - or fucking boring for that matter!”

“Just the five of us?”

The words spilled out before she could stop them, stupid that she was. At the other end of the line, the girls went uncharastically silent, and Erin cursed herself.

Feck.

“I mean, that’s grand. It’s cool, I thought it was just going to be one big night for the bachelorette party before the big day, but - I mean, that’s even better! Grand - cool.”

Christ on a bike, that was pathetic. She was.

“Yeah...The thing is, Orla wanted a wee night with just us Derry girls the night before the bachelorette party, hanging at the bar and stuff you know, because - Well, just because.” Poor Clare was rambling now, in a typical panicked Clare kind of way. “And we thought - Well, then we thought about it, and it turns out it’s not going to work, just timing-wise and stuff, so - “

“So the point is we dropped it.”

“Right. Yep.”

Again, silence, only betrayed by the hammering in her chest that she hoped her friends wouldn’t hear over her cellphone.

“Oh okay, well - that’s a shame.” Her casual slash over the top fake disappointment tone did nothing to help convince anyone, of course, herself included. She winced.

She promised herself it wasn’t going to be like this, though. She wasn’t going to ruin this for anyone - not a chance.

For God’s sake, catch yourself on Erin.

Pushing all dangerous thoughts aside, Erin took a deep breath. “In any case, I’m sure it’ll all be fine - really fine.”

There were another few seconds of silence, and she could just picture the worried look they were sharing - probably very similar to the one they had that particular, fateful day. To the one they had again when she told them she was moving away. Then -

“You bet it’ll be fine - feck, it will be absolutely brilliant is what it is! Wait til you see my dress, Erin - my tits look amazing in it.”

*

As it turned out, running all over the city for work for the past ten days and dangerously flirting with the limits of sleep deprivation did have a perk: her whole, eight hours flight, Erin slept like a log.

(Truth was, she could have done without the look of contempt and the ‘Miss? You have drool on your face’ from that stupid flight attendant who woke her up when they landed, but still - all in all, it went well.)

The wait at Stansted airport, however, was pure hell.

Because of the jitters, mostly.

Growing up, despite how much she loved to complain about them, Erin had never actually considered living away from her family. Well, not that far, at least - she’d always known she would leave Derry after high school, which they did, and it was glorious. War or not, she had a pretty nice life as a child and then a teenager, but those college years and the first ones that had followed - they were the best of her life.

Still, it was only Belfast at the time, and Belfast was a two hours drive from home. Erin knew that at some point, she wanted to go out in the world, maybe live abroad for a while, but this - New-York, all on her own, away for so long? She hadn’t planned that. Didn’t, really - it all went so fast, in the end.

It was a good thing too, because if she had stopped and thought about it for too long, she wasn’t sure she would have gone through with it.

(Then again, what else could she have done?)

Despite her dreams, and her need for independence, and her eagerness to see the world, Erin had never thought that she’d leave her family for that far, for that long. Orla had come to see her once, thank goodness, but Jesus -

On the last picture her Ma had sent her, Anna had grown so much, she almost looked like a wee woman. She’d forgotten the exact colour of that lipstick aunt Sarah wore all the time, she couldn’t remember each wrinkle on Granda’s beautiful face like she used to, and sometimes, she was afraid she was forgetting her Da’s smell and what her Ma’s voice sounded like in real life. She’d missed them so much, it hurt (a lot, often).

She just couldn’t wait any longer to get back to that crazy bunch, and those last, endless few hours? Torture so it was.

She was half considering starting to work on her next article to pass the time when across from her, Erin spotted a young couple bickering, their luggages next to their seats. She was a beautiful thing, red hair tied in a messy bun, and his brown curls fell above his forehead, all messed up.

She couldn’t hear what they were saying, but she could make out their accents. He looked like he was trying to make her smile, leaning over so he could kiss her, and she was doing everything she could not to laugh, weakly trying to escape his arms around hers, her pretense wavering with every second.

They were probably in their early twenties, just out of uni or something. They looked happy.

Her chest tightened, and suddenly, Erin felt the urge to cry.

Well, that was quick.

Shite. Shite shite shite.

It was okay, though - it was all fine. She knew herself by now - she was emotional as heck most days of the year (crazy, her Ma would say), but the day of her returning back home, with accumulated fatigue and an Atlantic crossing flight in her feet? Of course she'd get misty eyed at the first occasion. At anything, this just happened to be what, because they were very cute and - it was a coincidence, nothing more.

It was nothing.

The girl laughed, though, giving him a small slap over the head before she let him nuzzle his face in the crook of her neck. She brushed his forehead with her lips, a soft smile on them, and kept talking.

It was difficult, then, not to think about another time, another long wait, at the Bali airport this time. It was difficult, not to think about another English fella with wild, brown curls.

It was impossible, really, not to think about him.

Memories of a perfect trip came flooding back, of burnt skin and drunken smiles, of blue waters and green eyes. The tickles of the sun, the softness of his fingers over her exposed neck, her naked arms. Sweaty bodies pressed together during hot nights, slow breathes, so many new sights discovered, fingers intertwined.

Sometimes, the memory of his face hidden against her neck was so vivid, she could almost feel it. Just like she did now.

Her breath caught.

Sweet suffering Jesus.

Experience had taught her that she had to stop now - needed to, really, before her mind wandered to anything more. To everything else, every little thing that could, and would, make her heart ache even more than it already did.

(That’s another thing she’d found out: as it happened, the expression “heartbreak” wasn’t, in fact, an overly dramatic turn of words. Quite accurately descriptive it was, actually.

She often wondered when hers would stop feeling like it had been ripped into a million little pieces, but she was starting to lose faith that it ever would.)

Of course, she should have seen it coming, she knew that. She had, in fact. True to herself, she’d tried to ignore it, but she knew full well that with her coming back home, it would come back.

This painful, sneaky way every little thing seemed to remind her of before - of a life that felt so far away now.

Over the months, the many months since she’d been gone, she’d gotten it almost under control. Everyday life brought its distractions, particularly in a city like New-York: running between brunches and dinners, partying with her cool American friends, writing for a newspaper in the Big Apple, it was easy, forgetting what you wanted to, if only for so long. She was becoming a real life city girl, a full time one, and that was exactly what her busy brain - her treacherous heart - needed.

With time, every sight, every sound, every smell no longer reminded her of home - the place, the person. With time, she’d moved on.

Yes, sometimes - often - she’d wavered, but that was normal: having been close to someone meant that they lived with you forever, she couldn’t help that. At some point, it would just die down enough that she’d just be able to call it the past without her insides hurting.

(She thought it would, with Matt. Maybe not with the others before him, they were just passing through - but with him, she thought it would. She couldn’t really explain how it all made the permanent weight on her chest even heavier instead, somehow.)

But it hadn’t died down yet, and even though it was normal and okay and to be expected, six weeks ago, Erin had booked her tickets, and six weeks ago, she had lost the grip over the carefully built barriers she’d made sure to rise in the meantime for - well, self-preservation, really.

It started small. The song that had played this one special night, resonating through Starbucks as she waited for her drink. That sweatshirt her colleague bought one day that reminded her of another one. That scarf in the store that looked so much like Doctor Who’s.

But then...Then, it was every day, every damn day, just like the beginning - even worse, if she was being honest. Up until yesterday, when she boarded that damn plane.

Up until now, in this stupid airport where she didn’t want to cry.

Arms tightened around her own chest, Erin willed herself not to, even though it was becoming evident that there was no ignoring the memories and the aching now. Even though, just like she feared, it was becoming perfectly clear that there was no escaping anymore, no pretending that she wasn’t the worst person in this Goddamn country, that the worst hadn’t happened.

Even though she could feel the fear mixed with longing and excitement and dread and a million other emotions that had painfully, permanently taken residence in her stomach now that she was home.

(That had taken roots there ever since the day she left, so it did.)

Shite.

Sitting back up, Erin shook herself. No, no, no, no - she could do this.

She’d grown, she’d prepared herself. She’d even planned what to say if...She was ready. Responsable, mature, and ready. And she won’t have to face this alone.

In a few hours, she was going to see the people who raised her. In a couple of days, wee Orla was getting married. She’d come up with excuses after excuses not to come home, even for Christmas - babbling something about being overloaded with work even though it made her heart ache to know she’ll be alone for the holidays for the first time in her life. Even though she knew full well her Ma didn’t buy a single word, very aware of the real reason she was staying away. She didn’t say a single word, though, and Erin was grateful.

No more, though.

For months and months, Erin had found reasons to stay away for the exact reasons that were chipping away at her heart more and more by the second, but now her baby cousin was getting married, and she’d see her family, and they’ll hold her close, and she’ll find a way to bury all the stuff that was so, so much more difficult to ignore now that she was coming home.

Maybe - maybe it will be difficult, but they’ll be here to help her through it. She’ll be there for her family, and they’ll be here for her.

Fighting the urge to reach out for the folded photograph in her wallet (the one that brought so much comfort and so much else she’d rather avoid at the same time, the one she clinged to but pretended she didn’t), Erin just breathed, and moved to change seats.

Everything would be fine, in the end. It will be grand.

*

Except her family didn’t come.

No one did.

It was eight thirty in the morning, and, her cellphone penibly stuck between her ear and shoulder as she struggled to zip her jacket to protect herself from the freezing cold, Erin tried to swallow her disappointment.

“Aye I’m sorry love, it looks like you’re going to have to get a cab,” her Ma announced before yelling something at her Granda in the distance.

Erin couldn’t help but notice the fact that she didn’t seem that sorry, not at all in fact. “Your Da was going to come get you, but there’s a problem of some kind where the reception is, and he had to take Orla.”

Erin nodded, even though her Ma couldn’t see her. “Yeah, sure. I’ll just - ”

“We’ll give you the money back for the cab when you arrive. Alright, I gotta go love, we’re checking the hair accessories for the big day - see you in a bit.” And with that, she hung up.

Well.

Here went her big welcome home, eh.

Again, it was nothing, though, she reasoned. She was a grown up now, of course she understood that something had come up, and that this all delayed their big reunion from only an hour, tops. So really, there was no reason to get upset.

None.

She wished she wasn’t getting upset.

From what she told her, Clare would be putting together gift bags now, and there was absolutely no doubt that Michelle was still snoring. Pocketing her cell as best as she could, Erin bit the inside of her cheek and started looking for the only plan B she had left, ignoring the burning in her eyes. It really was nothing - she’ll be fine.

It didn’t matter that she took forever to get a cab, for some reason, or that her luggage fell over her foot when they tried to put it in the truck, or that her handbag crashed on the floor and spilled everywhere.

Erin did know she tended to be over dramatic - and yes, maybe borderline crazy, Ma wasn't completely wrong - but she was more mature now, so instead of getting riled up, instead of being crushed by the fact that her family didn’t seem to have missed her as much as she did them, and that the land she grew up on was sending her sign after sign that she wasn’t welcomed back, Erin breathed.

Instead of being violently overwhelmed by memories at every corner of the place she’d grown up in, the place where they met and it all began, she did - she tried to breathe, slowly, carefully, squeezing her scarf in her hand a little too tight.

(That was another thing about your close ones not coming to get you at the airport after you left your country to run away: there wasn’t much to distract you from the memories you were running away from.)

She wouldn’t cry. She was just tired, and being stupid, and she wasn’t coming home with puffy red eyes - no way.

They passed the mall they all used to hang out at, and her throat tightened so much, it felt like the air had left the inside of the car. She saw the movie theater he was always so eager to bring her to in the distance, and a familiar pang of missing shot through her chest. Her heart twisted that particular way when they drove by the hiding spot of their early days, but even though she wondered how she was still holding her tears, she did.

After what felt like an eternity, the car finally pulled up her street, and Erin hadn’t shed one silly tear. She’d done it. She could do it.

By the time she pushed their small barrier and started for the couple of stairs, all Erin wanted was to collapse into bed and black out. Orla and Da wouldn’t be home, Ana would probably still be asleep, and given the day and time, Grandda would have gone for his walk. She’d give a big hug to Ma and Aunt Sarah, pretext a headache, and go lie down.

As she struggled to get her bags through the door while keeping the damn thing open, Erin shouted, cursing herself at how strangled her voice sounded. “I’m home!”

Finally managing to get everything and herself inside, she collapsed on the wall behind her, only now taking in the wallpaper, the coat hangers, the shoes by the entry.

Damn - she was home.

The emotion was so striking, she didn’t quite have the time to stop the tears from welling up in her yes, taken by surprise.

She moved before it all became too much and shrugged off her coat, feeling her insides warm at the familiar surroundings, and yet her heart ache at not having the usual voices that went with it, the faces that she wanted so much to see. She shouted again, but there was still no response.

Ma and aunt Sarah must have had something to do, then. It was fine, she thought as she pushed the living door open. It was, she’d just grab a glass of water and -

“SURPRISE!”

And just like that, Saturday Night started playing from somewhere, overcoming the shouting and the party whistles that had broken the silence so suddenly, Erin had jumped out, her back hitting doorframe behind her. There was colours and and noise and arms waving in every direction, and Erin vaguely realized that she was covered in confetti that matched the balloons and the hats.

Somehow, she noticed that they all had one: Michelle, up on the sofa, Clare, jumping in place at the other side of the room, Orla and the giant teddy bear she was holding. Anna, her pink one stuck on top of her mass of blond hair. Aunt Sarah and Grandda, both holding hands and arboring the same green one. Her Ma, her Da, tears in their eyes, huge grins on their faces, red and yellow ones falling over.

Her brain had stopped functionning, so she couldn't be sure, but Erin thought that her legs were giving out.

Before they did, though, both her parents closed the distance and hugged her close, whispering things she couldn't quite make sense of just yet. Their voices in her ear, their smell surrounding her, Erin broke her promise to herself, and finally let the tears come flooding as she held them back as close as she could.

She was home.

[dreamingofaizawa]

Short Stack -- Part 2

Here we go

Pro Hero! KiriBaku x Pro Hero! Fem! Reader

**18+ Fic**

Warnings: Angst, fluff, alcohol, swearing from obvious sources, biting kink, double penetration, anal, unprotected sex, the boys being great at aftercare 

Word Count: 4.6k

Author’s Note: Still not great at smut, but fuck it (pun very much intended). Fight  scenes are hard to write, but oh well, I’ll get better with practice. Love you guys ~

Part 1 - Part 3

Enjoy!

*

*

*

You didn’t think accepting Bakugou’s challenge would get you in such deep shit. You regret challenging him. He’s terrifying. But here you are, and there’s no getting out of it. 

The three of you were in the agency’s separate training facilities, an arena with different training spaces, much like UA High’s USJ, only the spaces were designed to take on quirks of all kinds without taking much damage, the buildings were solid blocks of concrete with fake painted windows. You were standing in the middle of a clearing, facing off against Bakugou in an all-out spar using your quirks. Kirishima was standing a few dozen feet away, watching the unfortunate turn of events. 

All of you were in your hero costumes. While Bakugou had his gauntlets to help him enhance the usage of his quirk, you and Kirishima couldn’t really use support items to help you, because your quirks just weren’t combat-oriented quirks. So your costume was relatively simple, allowing as much movement as possible for hand-to-hand combat. Black leggings, black halter tank top, black combat boots, and a black domino mask a lot like the one Bakugou wears, minus the extra spikes. On patrol when you weren’t fighting, you wore a black corset that had a cape flowing out from the bottom, and when you needed to jump into action you’d store it away with your quirk. Why? Because you’d been advised to make your costume more recognizeable and distinguishable from civilian clothing.

Now, you hadn’t even bothered putting on the corset, and were waiting to start facing off against pro hero Ground Zero. This almost definitely won’t end very well for you, but you can’t just let him win, so you drop into your stance and wait, staring at the towering figure a few yards away, ready to take whatever he throws at you. You need to keep as far away from his palms as possible, because if you get caught by that quirk it’s all over. So you just wait for him to move so he can’t read your movements as easily, and you know it’ll work, because Bakugou Katsuki is NOT a patient man.

Without warning he throws his hands behind him and fires off his quirk, propelling himself forward with impossible speed. But you’re still faster. You charge and duck under him as he throws a punch, immediately standing and sprinting away. He uses a blast from his palm to redirect his momentum with pinpoint accuracy, and propels after you. Thanks to his noisy quirk, you know how far and how fast he’s coming at you, and this time instead of ducking, you materialize a capture weapon much like the now retired Eraserhead used to use.

Quickly, you spin around and face Ground Zero, and as he swings you wrap his wrist with the material and dig your feet into the ground. Using his already insane momentum, you swing him around and slam him into the nearest building. He sets off a blast from his palms as he collides with the concrete, bracing himself and attempting to soften the impact. It worked. He was perfectly fine. Pissed off, but fine. Pro hero Ground Zero is absolutely terrifying.

The capture weapon vanished, and you braced for another round. There was no way he’d launch at you again. You’d already dodged him twice, managing to take advantage of his offensive tactics. This time, he charged without the use of his quirk, and you read his movements like the words on a book. When he planted his left foot to jump and flip over your head, you dropped to the floor on your knees, your back flattening on the ground and your feet just outside your hips. Just as he reached down to set off a blast at your face, you latched a quirk-cancelling cuff onto his wrist. As he tumbled, not prepared to lose his quirk, you materialized the capture weapon again, and wrapped up Ground Zero before he could regain his balance, completely immobilizing him.

After a few long seconds of silence and heavy breathing, Kirishima burst into laughter, “OH MY GOD IT’S JUST LIKE AIZAWA-SENSEI!! DO YOU REMEMBER BAKUGOU?!” At that, Bakugou snapped out of his shocked state and bellowed out a yell rivaling his quirk’s blasts. Kirishima just laughed harder. After a few minutes of Bakugou yelling and Kirishima dying of laughter, everything calmed. You unwrapped Bakugou and when you uncuffed him, he lifted his hand and popped off his quirk uncomfortably close to your face. It made you tense a little, but didn’t scare you like he probably intended to.

When you returned to sit with Kirishima, he asked how you learned to use the weapon the famed Eraserhead would use. “Actually, I learned from Aizawa-Sensei himself. Because of my quirk, I need to focus on close combat. I needed to learn as many different fighting styles and methods of restraining as possible. I actually approached a friend of mine that went to UA like you two, and he said he wouldn’t teach me because he was still learning, so we both learned from Eraserhead.”

“You know Shinsou?” Kirishima asked. “Yeah, I’ve known him since middle school.” His response was absolutely ridiculous. “Wow, he knew a cutie like you and didn’t tell anyone? How greedy.” You dropped your eyes to the ground and blushed hard at what just came out of the redhead’s mouth. “Anyway, we should get going. The sun’s gonna set soon and I think we’ve all gotta patrol tomorrow,” you quickly changed the subject. Bakugou agreed that it was time to pack up and go, so you went your separate ways.

The next few weeks passed pretty similarly. A few low-level villains popping up on patrol, hitting the gym whenever you could, running into either Kirishima or Bakugou en route, and occasionally going over to drink with the duo. There was shift change and the three of you all had Sundays off, and you’d go drink at their place on Saturdays, stay the night, and spend the day doing whatever the three of you felt like doing.

It was fun having people in your life. But soon enough you were spiraling again. You were just waiting for them to betray you and leave you lonely again. So when they began to get a little more physical with you, and you liked it, your paranoia screamed at you to run before they did. And there was another emotion swirling around inside you. Something that rivaled the paranoia and fear. 

You really liked being around Bakugou and Kirishima. In fact, you were always sad to part ways with them. You ended up thinking about them way more often than you felt you should, and that scared you. You knew you were getting attached, but you didn’t know just how far you’d fallen until the day you were forced to either face your feelings and let them run free, or drown in your paranoid, lonely life.

It’s been a couple months now that you’ve got to know the duo that is Ground Zero and Red Riot. It’s Saturday, and the three of you were drinking and talking. Kirishima learned a while ago to drink a lot slower just to be able to talk more instead of passing out a couple hours in. The atmosphere in the apartment was strange, though, and it wasn’t just from the alcohol. After being around the two, it became obvious that they were a little more than just roommates, seeing as they’d kiss around you now. Well, it was more Kirishima kissing Bakugou’s cheek and the blonde getting flustered. It was quite cute.

But that wasn’t the reason for the weird tension in the air tonight. But you couldn’t quite place it. The two were being flirty. Like, really REALLY flirty. Ever since you met them Kirishima was flirty, and Bakugou eventually threw in compliments that your outfit wasn’t terrible that day. Tonight though, as you all sat on the carpeted floor, Kirishima was laying it on thick, saying how beautiful you were and he always looked forward to seeing you, and a buzzed Bakugou was playing with your hair. At least, you thought he was buzzed. You couldn’t really tell.

You didn’t entirely mind the attention, you were extremely touch starved after all. But you were still wary about their intentions, your trust issues and paranoia preventing you from enjoying much of anything. Of course, the alcohol in your system brought down your defenses a little, and the part of you that was afraid of being abandoned dwindled down and drifted to the back of your mind.

After Kirishima was done gushing over you, he spread out and rested his head in your lap, and Bakugou put his head on your shoulder, still playing with your hair as his other hand wrapped around your waist from behind. A comfortable silence fell, and you closed your eyes to enjoy the warmth from the two bodies. You opened your eyes and looked down, expecting Kirishima to have fallen asleep, but his ruby eyes were looking straight back up at you.

Suddenly a gruff voice rumbled in your ear. “We really like you (y/l/n). And that’s saying a lot. I don’t like anybody.” Kirishima nodded his head in your lap, agreeing wholeheartedly with the blonde. Your walls came right back up, the paranoia coming back to bite you in the ass, and you let out a nervous chuckle. “I...I don’t think-” you were cut off by Bakugou shifting behind you, moving so he pressed your back into his chest and wrapped both his strong arms around your waist. “I know how you feel about people getting close, (y/l/n),” the blonde growled softly in your ear, “And we don’t expect you to just accept us out of the blue like this. But know that we’re willing to wait until you trust us with your heart.”

Bakugou shifted again and wrapped his arms around your shoulders, burying his face into your neck and whispering the confession. “We’ll wait, princess.” “We’ve been waiting, little pebble,” Kirishima chimed. You tilted your head in confusion, and Kirishima answered the silent question. “We’ve liked you since a little bit after we met you. At first we just liked hanging around you cause you were fun. But then…” he trailed off, knowing he didn’t have to say the rest.

You’d always prided yourself on your ability to read people. But now you were cursing your ability. Because you could read these two from the beginning, and you knew they’d never lie or deceive anyone. You knew from the second Bakugou judged your tiny figure aloud and Kirishima rolled over laughing at his partner’s defeat that they were good people. People you wanted in your life. People you could be safe with. You knew you could let your walls down around them, and they wouldn’t dream of hurting you. You knew, from the start, you’d fall madly in love with them.

And they fell for you too.

And you were terrified. 

Unrealistic and idiotic thoughts swirled in your head. What if they stop liking me later? What if I actually read them wrong? What if I end up hurting them? What-

Your thoughts were cut short. You had started to spiral, and you’d already zoned out and didn’t notice the two move around you. But now you were all on the couch, you were straddling Bakugou’s lap, face in his chest, and Kirishima was behind you, his arms hooked around both you and the blonde. What snapped you from your thoughts wasn’t the movement, but the lips that took purchase on either side of your neck.

The two men were peppering soft, gentle, comforting kisses along your neck and shoulders. Bakugou’s voice rumbled in your left ear, “It’s okay, princess. We’d never hurt you,” Kirishima’s voice in your right, “It’ll be okay little pebble, we can keep you safe.” You melted in their arms, and the fear you felt began to ebb away with each touch from the males. They made you feel so safe. Secure. Loved. You really could let your walls fall around them. They’d take your broken and abandoned brick house and build it into a castle. And for the first time in a long time, you let people in.

You nodded against Bakugou’s chest, beginning to tear up at the thought of finally getting close to someone and knowing you wouldn’t regret it. “I...I like you too. Both of you.” Suddenly their movements stopped. Bakugou sat up and looked at you, and Kirishima leaned around to look at you, both of them wide-eyed and frozen, like deer in headlights. “Are you serious little pebble? You really like us?” You nodded quickly at the redhead, who beamed with a wide smile, and Bakugou just dove back into your neck, placing quick pecks on every inch of skin he could find. You giggled at the sensation. “Bakugou it tickles!” He froze, and slowly rose from your neck with a devious and mischievous smirk on his lips. Your eyes grew wide, “Don’t even think about it!” Too late. Kirishima jumped backward and pulled you down on the couch, pinning your arms next to your head, your legs trapped under your thighs so you couldn’t kick.

Bakugou immediately attacked your belly with his fingers, making you squeal and squirm. After relentless torture, he paused his attack, and you breathed a little bit, tears prickling the corners of your eyes as you struggled to get oxygen back into your lungs. The peace didn’t last, though. Bakugou pulled up your shirt, exposing your belly, leaned down, and blew raspberries into your stomach, making you erupt in giggles and squeals all over again.

When you finally had enough and desperately needed to breathe, you materialized your wallet above Bakugou’s head and it dropped, making him jump and freeze. In between giggles you said, “That was me. I need to breathe. Give me a minute.” The two ceased their attack and let you go so you could get comfortable and breathe. Bakugou kept looking at you in confusion, and Kirishima asked the question that was probably on his mind. “How’d you drop your wallet on his head? Your hands were pinned! I had them pinned!” You giggled a little, realizing that they thought you could only materialize things into your hands. “I can materialize anything that I store anywhere I look. It doesn’t need to be in my hand,” you say with a small smile.

“But at the bar, you had your hand out.” Kirishima pointed out. “Yes, I did. Just to get your attention in the right place. Cause who would notice another set of keys suddenly appearing in the middle of the table if nobody was looking?” Kirishima nodded at your explanation. Then his eyes went wide, “So can you look at something and store it?” Again, you giggled, but this time it was from his slightly surprised, slightly excited expression. 

You turned your head to the coffee table, two pairs of red eyes following your gaze. A coaster vanished from the table, and you looked above Bakugou’s head. Again their eyes followed, but as Bakugou looked up, it materialized and sat flat on his forehead. Before he could react, it vanished again, and appeared in your hand, before vanishing again and reappearing back on the coffee table.

“I try to keep from using it too much, because if it ever becomes useful in battle I’d like to keep it from being figured out. That, and I used to get accused a lot for stealing, so I just kinda stopped using it like that.” Kirishima had the biggest grin on his face. “That’s so freaking cool! Right Bakugou?” The blonde only shrugged with a small ‘eh’. Which, you learned, meant he agreed. After a couple minutes of talking about how you could use your quirk, you leaned back on the couch, took a deep breath, and glanced at the clock. It was currently 2am. That was fine, though, since you were all off and you could sleep in.

As you closed your eyes and relaxed, a nice silence filled the air. Though that silence was soon filled by the sound of fabric shifting and the couch dipping. You didn’t need to open your eyes to know that the two were now sitting much closer to you. You could feel their body heat at your sides. So it didn’t scare you and you didn’t jump when you felt two large hands come down on each of your thighs. It did, however, surprise you when you felt their weight shift again and felt their mouths on the sides of your neck again, this time their tongues lapping at your skin.

It made you gasp as your eyes shot open, your body reacting instantly to the feeling. Your chest heaved as they sucked marks onto your neck, your legs squeezing together involuntarily. The two pulled away from you, their pupils blown wide with lust taking in your pleasured expression. You were thankful to whatever deity was looking out for you, because you knew exactly what they wanted, and you wanted it just as bad. You had rid yourself of your clothing so fast the two men were confused for a second before they realized you’d used your quirk.

Without another second, you’d taken off both their shirts and jeans and dropped them in the corner of the room with your quirk, and this time they just raked their eyes down your body, taking in every bit of exposed skin. It didn’t take long for them to reposition. Now you were straddling Kirishima, and Bakugou was behind you, returning to the task of leaving marks on your body. Bakugou was moving down your back, sucking bruises down your spine and Kirishima was nipping at the plush skin on your chest, just under your collarbone.

Soon you were a whimpering mess, gasping and mewling with every kiss they placed against your skin. When Kirishima got more intense with the bites, you only got louder, and he took notice. He latched his mouth onto your shoulder and bit down, slowly increasing the pressure, making you let out a soft moan. His eyes widened a little when you told him to bite harder. He obliged and bit down, just barely breaking the skin on your shoulder, and you moaned out loud. Bakugou stopped behind you and came up to whisper in your ear.

“You like biting princess?” he growled and nipped the shell of your ear. You nodded, desperate to feel the pain again. You brought your hand up and tapped the junction between your neck and shoulder, right at the top of your back where you could feel a muscle twitch. “Right here. Please,” you whined, knowing that was the most sensitive spot on your neck. Kirishima leaned over and licked where you tapped, “Here pebble?” You nodded furiously, and before you could open your mouth to beg again, his sharp teeth sank into your neck. You nearly screamed out a moan, your voice mixed with pain and pleasure as you felt drops of blood glide down your back. 

As quickly as he was there, Kirishima let go and licked at the wound he’d inflicted, soothing it gently. You didn’t notice Bakugou’s absence until he came back and wiped the blood away with a damp cloth and kissed the skin around the bite. You were delirious with pleasure, just from that one bite, and you could feel your arousal soaking your panties. Bakugou took no time at all to make that discovery, trailing his thick fingers over your clothed pussy. “Fuck, Ei, she’s soaked. So wet for us already little princess.”

You couldn’t quite comprehend what was happening as you were carried to a bed. You didn’t register whose bed, but that didn’t really matter. You were put down on your back, two undeniably stunning men looking at you like you were the last meal on the planet. You were so out of it you didn’t quite realize they’d already stripped you of your bra and panties, and Bakugou was flat on his stomach, blowing hot breaths onto your exposed folds. The sensation made you jolt, and you whined wanting more. Kirishima kneaded your breasts, pulling a pert nipple into his mouth and swirling his tongue over it before releasing it with a ‘pop’ and moving to repeat with the other, occasionally moving to your collarbone and leaving bites along your shoulders.

Bakugou lapped at your entrance, groaning from your sweet taste. He slipped the pink muscle into you, making you squirm at the feeling as he moved it around. He moved up, placing kitten licks over your clit as he slipped a thick finger into your heated core. You let out a soft moan as he slipped a second finger into you, curling them up to strike at the spongy spot inside you. It made you gasp sharply, and he smirked, knowing he’d just found what he was looking for.

He moved his fingers faster inside you, plunging them deeper and curling them up harder and faster, making you clench around him. A coil built up in your belly, tightening the more Bakugou moved his fingers. “I can feel you gripping me, princess. Cum for me,” he said, and attached his mouth to your clit, sucking and licking at the sensitive bundle. That was all you needed for that coil to snap, and your back arched off the bed, your legs shaking from the intensity of your orgasm.

Bakugou kept his ministrations, letting you ride out your high. Once you were panting back down on the bed, the two shifted positions once again. Bakugou behind you, holding you up against his solid chest, and Kirishima in front of you, wrapping your legs around his waist as he lined up his cock with your entrance. You didn’t even know when they’d gotten naked themselves. But as you got a good look at his cock, your eyes widened and your breath hitched. He was huge. Thick and long, a prominent vein running underneath from the base all the way up to his head, already dripping precum. 

“Like what you see pebble? Don’t worry I’ll go slow, I know I’m not small. You ready?” he asked gently, and you nodded. He slid into you, hissing at how your walls clenched around him. “Fuck, baby you’re so tight,” he said as he slowly sheathed his cock, inching his way all the way inside you. You were mewling and moaning, loving the way he’s stretching you, your hands reaching up and looping around Bakugou’s neck behind you to keep you anchored. When Kirishima finally bottomed out, you were both panting hard, and he leaned down and kissed your forehead. “You’re doing so well baby. I’m gonna start moving okay?” You nodded, unable to form coherent words. 

As he pulled out, you let out a high pitched moan, and he began to pump in and out of your dripping pussy. It felt amazing, but you desperately needed more. “Ki-Kiri- please, I n-need -- hah~” “It’s Eijiro, baby. Call me Eijiro,” he smiled softly before setting a brutal pace, making you moan out his name. A familiar coil tugged inside you, and you wanted so bad to be sent over the edge. Sensing your need, Bakugou traced two fingers along your bottom lip. You open your mouth, sucking and licking at his fingers. He pulls them out and reaches down to rub tight, precise circles on your clit. The tension in your belly snaps and you’re falling apart on Eijiro’s cock, mewling out his name while he keeps slamming into you.

As you’re coming down from your second orgasm, he slows and stills inside you, and pulls you off Bakugou into his chest. You feel the bed dip as the blonde repositions behind you. You turn your head to watch as he brings his fingers into his mouth, lubricating them with his saliva, and reaches down to prod at your puckered hole. His gruff voice reaches your ear in a whisper, “Relax for me princess.” He pushes one thick finger past the tight ring of muscle, and you mewl at the weird feeling, and as he pushes another in, you’re hissing at the sting.

He’s scissoring and curling his fingers in your ass, stretching you out to prepare you for his own cock. It takes a minute for the sting to subside. When he feels you relax, he spits on his cock and strokes with his other hand, making sure to slick his entire length. He removes his fingers and pushes the head of his cock into you, and you let out a whine from both the pain and the need for him to fill you up. Slowly, he’s sinking further into you with shallow thrusts, inching his way in until he bottoms out inside you. Eijiro moves inside you again and you’re gasping and clawing at his back. 

As Eijiro slides his cock back into your pussy, Bakugou pulls out, and they’re moving back and forth in sync at a steady pace. You throw your head back against the blonde’s shoulder and let your moans and mewls slip out of you incoherently. “KATSUKI!!” you scream out when he suddenly snaps his hips up, slamming his cock into you. Eijiro follows suit, and the two set a bruising pace, rutting their hips up into you. You don’t even notice the pressure building in your abdomen until you’re spraying clear liquid over both of them, your body shaking from your third orgasm and overstimulation, and their hips begin to sputter, their pace becoming more erratic.

Eijiro is grunting into your ear, “I need to cum baby, where do you want me?”. You lace your fingers into each man’s hair, pulling them so you’re sure both can hear you. “Fill me up, fill me with your cum! Please fill me up!” At that, both men clamp their teeth down on your shoulders, pounding into you, and you’re screaming their names as they pump you full, painting your insides white.

All three of you are panting hard, trying to catch your breaths. Their cocks are still inside you, softening slowly, their seed dripping out of your holes. Katsuki is the first to move. He grabs the wet cloth from earlier as Eijiro puts you down on the bed. The blonde begins to clean your aching body, wiping down your legs and shoulders, cleaning off the cum and any blood that spilled from the bites they gave you. Katsuki finishes, tossing the cloth to the corner of the room, and Eijiro returns with a glass of water. He pulls you up to sit and sip from the glass as he holds it up to your mouth. 

They take sips of the water themselves, and Katsuki leaves the room. Eijiro pulls you and tells you to sit up, and he lays down on his stomach next to you, laying his head on your lap. The position gives you a good look at his back, and your eyes widened at the sight. His upper back was marred with welts, little droplets of blood just barely seeping out, and you realized you did that, though you didn’t think you’d been scratching him all that hard. Soon Katsuki came back and cleaned up Eijiro’s back and spread ointment on both his scratches and your bites.

Once he was done, he put the ointment on the bedside table and the three of you curled up in bed with you squished between them once again. Your eyelids feel heavy, and as you feel sleep tugging at your mind, you let out a small chuckle, “If I can’t walk when I wake up, I’m gonna kill both of you,” and you drift into a deep sleep.

[blackmissfrizzle]

No One Has to Know

Pairing: Angel Reyes x black!reader

Summary: Since there isn’t a lot of angel Reyes x black reader imagines going on here I was wondering if u can write a request for me that. You and angel are in a secret relationship because y’all are ten years apart and your mom( who’s mayor) finds out?? Requested by @briannab1234​

Warnings: None for this part

A/N: This was going one way and then it went another, but I hope you all enjoy!

It was a hot ass day in Santo Padre, so it was no surprise that Adrian’s raspa shop was full. Today you were accompanied with your fake group of friends (except for Bryce) aka the group of friends your mom approved of.

When your pickle raspa with chamoy and lucas was finished, you searched for an empty table, only for you to find the one table you didn’t want to sit at because of who sat next to it. The Mayans. Or more specifically Angel Reyes, your secret boyfriend. The argument from last night replayed in your head as you stared at the table.

“Why not?” You yelled, throwing down your bag.

“Because its not smart Y/N.” Angel stared at you through a cloud of cigarette smoke while you paced back and forth.

Sitting in his lap you took his cigarette and put it out. Cradling his face, you kissed him. “What’s stupid about wanting my boyfriend to be my date at my graduation party?”

Angel scrubbed his face in frustration. This argument between the two of you was becoming more frequent. You wanted to make your relationship public, but he didn’t. He didn’t want everyone else to confirm what he already thought. He didn’t want them to say he was a low life and no good for the mayor’s daughter or that he was too old for you (his 34 to your 24).

“Listen, querida we can go public another time. Just take that loser Rob and make sure he keeps his hands to himself.” Angel kissed the top of your head to end the argument.

You hit him in the chest and pushed off him. “Fuck you, Angel! If you just want me to be your little fucktoy and not your girlfriend just say so.” Before he could stop you, you were already out the door. Once again, his insecurities fucked him over.

“Hey, yo, Y/N over here!” Coco’s voice pulled you out of your head. He was pointing to the table next to him. No way you could pretend that you didn’t see the table now.

Starting your way over there Eileen grabbed your wrist to stop you. “How about we just eat them to go?” Her green eyes wide with fear.

You broke out of what she thought was an iron grip. “Its over 100 degrees outside. Trust me they won’t bite, unless,” you leaned in closer to her and dropped your voice lower. “you want them to.”

Leaving Eileen in all her white woman shock, Bryce followed you to the empty table. Both of you greeted the men at the table besides you. You barely gave any energy to Angel while Bryce gave Gilly all her attention due to her crush on him.

Eventually, your friends joined you, still wary of the Mayans. Rob sat next to you and wrapped his arm behind your seat. Angel wanted to break that arm in half.

This midday delight was less enjoyable than you wanted it to be. It was tense and not just because you weren’t talking to Angel. Your friends made it a point to ignore your Mayan friends and while the Mayans did their best to make your snotty friends uncomfortable by making the most vulgar jokes (which were hilarious by the way).

Most of the time, Bryce and you talked to the Mayans. They were by far better conversationalists. Plus, you and Coco had a lot to talk about since you were Letty’s mentor at school.

In the middle of listening to EZ tell an embarrassing story about Angel, Rob saw Angel staring at you a little too long. So, slightly he tilted your chin towards him and kissed you.

You scrambled to end the kiss. In no way shape or form you led Rob to believe you were in a relationship. Even though he was your escort to the party, you explicitly told him that y’all were going nowhere.

When the kiss ended, Angel was nowhere to be found. A great part of you wanted to dump the raspa on Rob, but you didn’t want to make a mess in Adrian’s place. Instead you punched him in the face and left the shop with a bunch of cackling Mayans and Bryce.

It didn’t take you long to find Angel. He was a couple of blocks away at his dad’s carniceria. “Angel, I-”

He held his hand up to stop you. Flicking his cigarette down, he stomped it out. “Done with your ivy league boyfriend?”

“Don’t do that. I wasn’t expecting him to kiss me.”

Stepping down from the stoop, Angel got somewhat eye level with you. “You definitely let him kiss you longer than necessary.”

A black escalade rolled up, revealing up, revealing your mom behind the window. “Y/N, dear we need to get ready for the party.”

“Hi, Ms. Mayor.” Angel waved at your mom and in return she gave him a curt nod.

Patting you on your arm, Angel gave you his congratulations and returned to his father’s shop.

Once inside the car, the tirade started. ‘What did I tell you about those Mayans? Have your fun with them in private not in public.’ ‘Stay away from that Reyes boy. I don’t like how he looks at you.’ ‘You could’ve at least been hanging out with the smart one.’ ‘You should be focused on your career and Rob.’

Every line you heard before and just like every other time you were ignoring each word. Her nor Angel was going to ruin this relationship.

--

“I don’t know, Pops. Maybe I should wait til she gets home, and we can celebrate together. Just the two of us.”

Felipe fixed his son’s tie. “Nonsense, Angel. You’re going to your girlfriend’s graduation party. She wants you there, son.”

“What if I embarrass her?”

“You won’t,” EZ quietly entered the room, dressed up as well. “We’ll make sure of it.”

“We?”

EZ pulled back the curtains to reveal the Mayans all in suits on their bikes. “We got your back, bro.”

Angel squeezed his brother into a tight hug. “Thanks, mano.”

“Let’s go get your girl.” EZ clapped Angel on his back.

--

This had to be the most extra party ever, but extra was your mom’s middle name. All you wanted was a simple bbq, good music, drinks, and your friends. But nope this turned into an extravaganza and networking opportunity for your mom.

“You can’t be here!” You heard your mother’s voice despite her trying to keep her voice down.

Your eyes followed her voice and the sight you saw left you breathless. Angel in a dark striped suit strutting towards you with the rest of the mc in suits as well, trailing behind him.

“What are they doing here?” Rob asked with a mix of fear and disgust. He was truly a horrible person; you didn’t know how you put up with him for so long.

“He came,” you happily whispered. You shoved your champagne flute in Rob’s hands not caring that it was spilling on him. Your only goal was to get to Angel.

The dress you were wearing didn’t allow you to jump Angel like you wanted to. He could see the conflict on your face, so instead he twirled you around to fully admire the way the dress clung to your body and how it brightened the aura around you.

After your 360 turn, Angel twirled you inside his arms, grabbed the sides of your face and leaned down to kiss you. “You look beautiful, querida.” He whispered against your lips, his hand running up and down your leg exposed by the hip high slit.

“Not as good as you,” You bit your lip at the sight of Angel in a suit. His jet-black hair perfectly gelled back, his suit clinging to his body.

“Impossible. Now introduce everyone to your boyfriend.” The slap to your ass didn’t bothered you, in fact you laughed it off and began introducing Angel as the love of your life. The shocked gasps of the stuck-up residents of Santo Padre as you made the introductions did not go unnoticed by you, but you also didn’t give one flying fuck.

On the other side of the room you could not hear the most objected protest of them all. “Get him off my daughter!” The mayor ordered the president of the Mayans.

“No can do, Izzie,” Bishop smirked. Whenever he could he’d like to stick it to the mayor.

“Its Isadora,” she corrected him. “I will not allow my daughter make the same mistakes I did.”

The holier than thou act was grinding Bishop’s gears. There was a time when the mayor wasn’t a stuck-up bitch. “Watch it, Ms. Mayor. If it wasn’t for my fucked up feelings for you, I’d shoot you where you stand.”

“Obispo, please.” Her tone softer, reminiscent of the times she writhed under him. “She has a future. She has a future outside of Santo Padre. Don’t let my daughter-”

“Our daughter.” It was his turn to correct her.

Isadora sputtered. There was only one other person she told the truth to and that because she was caught, and he promised to never to tell anybody. “How did- how did you know?”

“I always suspected, but you kept her in LA with her ‘dad’ most of the time, so I couldn’t confirm until she kept popping up at the club. Easy enough to get DNA for a test.”

In all her being, Isadora wanted to slap the man. “You had no right.”

“And you had no right to keep her from me!” Bishop was upset at all the missed opportunities. You were a lovely young woman and he missed out on the chance to watch you grow up, but now he refused to stay away from you anymore.

Your yelling tore the two away. The unexpected guest getting all the attention now.

“Daddy!” Your arms encircled around the older man. His appearance was a welcomed surprise.

When he got done spinning you around, you introduced him to Angel. The three of you engaging in an animated conversation.

Isadora and Bishop watched off in the corner. Isadora in shock and Bishop in jealously.

“Tell her or I will.” Bishop threatened his old flame before he left heartbroken from seeing his daughter call another man dad.

A/N 2: Were yall ready for that surprise?

Tags: @angrythingstarlight​ @starrynite7114​ @briannab1234​ @chaneajoyyy​ @titty-teetee​ @thickemadame​ @brownsugarcoffy​ @ifoundmyhappythought​ @marvelmaree​ @browngirldominion​

[sarcasticfina]

Fic Writer Tag Game

How many works do you have on AO3? 263

What’s your total AO3 word count? 4,901,188

How many fandoms have you written for, and what are they? including the fandoms on FFnet, that haven't yet been moved over to ao3, that'd be a total of 37. separating the larger fandoms (marvel, dcu) into their individual parts: Thor; Arrow; Smallville; The Vampire Diaries; Glee; Captain America; Supernatural; Teen Wolf; Iron Man; Life with Derek; Firefly; Friday Night Lights; X-Men; Fantastic Four; Harry Potter; Sons of Anarchy; Girl Meets World; Batman; Daredevil; From Dusk Till Dawn: The Series; Transformers; Lost Girl; Game of Thrones; Banshee; High School Musical; The OC; One Tree Hill; CSI: New York; Degrassi; Gossip Girl; NCIS; The Unusuals; Criminal Minds; iCarly; Secret Life of the American Teenager; Twilight; and The Listener

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1. and I wonder (if everything could ever feel this real forever) - darcy/bucky - Steve tells him that Darcy's harmless. Bucky imagines, on paper, Darcy is harmless. HYDRA wouldn't give her a second glance. But he does. He can barely keep his eyes off her. He's not sure he wants to. | Kudos: 5576

2. I Climbed The Tree To See The World (When The Gusts Came Around To Blow Me Down, I Held On As Tightly As You Held On To Me) - darcy centric | darcy/steve - The path to self-discovery, including becoming Coulson's assistant-slash-liaison-slash-bff, Captain America's lady love, and rating fourth on the SHIELD BAMF scale, was like the yellow brick road; it was chaos and confusion around every bend. | Kudos: 3973

3. Take a little piece of my heart (and keep it for yourself) - oliver/felicity - A collection of Olicity prompts on Tumblr posted here for easier access/reading. | Kudos: 3498

4. You put your arms around me (and I'm home) - darcy/bucky - A collection of Darcy/Bucky oneshots, drabbles, and prompt fills. | Kudos: 3293

5. you (anchor me back down) - darcy/bucky - "I'll be right back." Famous last words. | Kudos: 2747

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? not all of them. i do try to keep up on them, especially on longer stories when there's been significant wait times in between chapters, or when a reader is asking a question or is unclear on something. and especially when someone writes a really indepth comment/review, i like to respond to those and talk about motivations and character growth.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending? I've written a number of fics that either had suicide or major character death, so i'm not sure if one outranks the other in terms of most angsty... hmm... i remember "be still and know that I'm with you (be still and know that I am here)" and "light a match, burn the world to ash (I will watch it die, and hold your hand as I fly)" both got some pretty intense reactions when they were posted. And "It's Your Song That Sets Me Free (I Sing It While I Feel I Can't Go On)" was basically just angst from beginning to end. buuuuut, i think i'll say "so you think you can tell (heaven from hell" was, only because there's a build up of everything going so right, only to pivot at the end, so it feels very bittersweet.

Do you write crossovers? If so what’s the craziest one you’ve written? i loooooove crossovers. i find writing in the marvel fandom makes things quite easy, but also smallville. as long as i can find a common thread, i enjoy finding a way to overlap two shows. i'll say the hardest one to write was "ruby red slippers (unavailable in her size)." I'm not sure why, but i found writing each personality together just felt strange. i liked the idea behind the story, but i definitely remember feeling like i was really forcing myself to keep going, like something just didn't fit right.

Have you ever received hate on a fic? oh, definitely. you cannot please everyone, it's impossible. for the most part, hate comes and i either argue back, take the criticism for what it's worth, or just ignore it when it's baseless. i think the hate that bothered me the most was a homophobic PM someone sent me re: "you know I will adore you ('til eternity)," on FFnet. i actually went and searched it up. they've since blocked me so i can't read our whole thread back and forth. but i did put part of it on tumblr so i could rant on it a bit, so you can see that here.

Do you write smut? If so what kind? ha. yes. depending on the story, it can be really detailed or really flowery. it depends on the ship, the plot, and how graphic i feel like being. i've definitely become more comfortable over the years with my writing. that said, i think everybody likes something different. i once had a reviewer tell me a sex scene was too much, just too intense. it was a stefan/caroline story and to be fair, that entire oneshot was just them fucking, lol, but it is what it is. to each their own.

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Multiple times.

Have you ever had a fic translated? Yes! for the record, i am always happy to have my stories translated and shared. i just like having a link sent to me and to be credited.

What’s your all time favorite ship? i have a list of OTPs, because interests change and as shows come and go, my love for a ship can be shelved for a while before it pops back up at random. currently, i can't get enough of buck/eddie from 9-1-1. and, historically, chloe/oliver (smallville) and felicity/oliver (arrow) have been two of my top OTPs. but i think i'd have to go with bonnie/damon. they had all the potential and the show dropped the ball by not exploring it. at the same time, that's kind of a blessing, because i don't trust those writers to properly explore what they had without eventually destroying it for the likes of de/ena. it means a treasure trove for writing where it could have gone and all the what if's.

What’s a WIP that you want to finish, but don’t think you ever will? the intention is always to finish. but given how i feel about allison mack and how that impacts my feelings re: chloe sullivan, pretty much anything with her as a main character is not something i see myself returning to.

What are your writing strengths? What are your writing weaknesses? i'm putting these together because my strength is my weakness. i love to write. when i get an idea, i go all in and i will skip eating and sleeping to just write write write. but i also eventually hit a wall and i get so many ideas that i hyperfocus on one until the steam is gone and then i hyperfocus on the next one to maintain that need to keep writing, accidentally leaving the last story in the dust for entirely too long. i also have clinical depression that comes and goes, which hasn't been super great mixed with covid and isolation, so more often recently, i find myself overly exhausted and despite wanting to write, can rarely get motivated to do so. so, pre-covid, wrote so much i left entirely too many stories dangling. during covid, i've just been reading and struggling to get myself focused enough to do what i love.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? i appreciate the authenticity when possible, but i've recently been reading more about how native speakers of other languages feel when a) their language is butchered by google translate, or b) it's just not genuine in terms of how bilingual speakers act or speak.

What was the first fandom you’ve written for? it was smallville, but i remember adopting it out to someone else because i wasn't going to finish it. so if you look at my ffnet, the first fandom i wrote for appears to be x-men: the movie, but i remember writing a chloe/oliver story prior to that.

What’s your favorite fic that you’ve written? i have a lot. i mean, on ffnet, i have 576 stories, many of which were transferred over to ao3, with a lot of oneshots and drabbles getting joined together into collections. so there's a ton to pick from that span a 14-ish year timeline.

"you know I will adore you ('til eternity)" and "let me break (the walls that surround me)" hold a special place in my heart.

honestly, each story is important in its own way. there are bits and pieces of each that i love. every time i write something new it feels like my favorite. my best. and then a new idea comes along. there are scenes i've written that i loved more than the whole of what they became. lines that stand out that are almost too good to be a part of the larger picture.

one of my all time favorite passages i've written was bonnie's thoughts on damon and herself in 'if you love me (let me go)":

He is far from perfect. He is a novel of red, corrective ink. He is frayed pages and torn binding. His life, his choices, his mistakes leave lasting effects on everyone he meets.

She is a lifeboat with a hole in it. An anchor that drowns in the sea while everyone else remains steady above. She is both the calm and the storm, and while she screams that she will not be tamed, she cries. Bittersweet tears that go unnoticed and uncared about.

there are other stories, other pieces of dialogue, that i've been proud of. that make me laugh when i re-read them. that make me cry. and i love them. there are others that make me wilt and cringe and regret. it's a process. love and pride and growth, all bound together.

Tagging: @absentlyabbie, @anonymous033, and anyone else who'd like to fill this all out, haha

[thatshiscigar]

The Boys Of Summer — JJ Maybank

Request: Hi there I wasn’t sure if requests were open or not, but I was wondering if I could get a JJ x female reader based on the song The Boys Of Summer by Don Henley. I feel likes it’s a good end of summer song and I was thinking it could be something where the reader is getting ready to leave for college and her and JJ have to come to terms with her leaving and while she drives away the both of them reminisce on their times together. Sorry if it’s too much! I love your writing! :)

Warnings: swearing, underaged drinking

Word Count: 2.7k+

A/N: I kind of veered from the request a bit- I just got a different vibe from the lyrics

Masterlist

Send an ask to be added to my OBX Taglist!

[GIF CREDS TO OWNER]

The sun was beaming into JJ’s eyes as he flew down the streets on his motorbike, leaves kicking up in the wind. He hoped it was the harsh wind that caused tears to prick in his eyes, rather than the emotional turmoil in his head. You were leaving for college today, and JJ didn’t want you to leave without letting you know how he felt. He knew he had fucked up, and he scolding himself for waiting until the last minute to do anything about it.

The ride to your house was eerie. The streets, usually filled with kid’s trying to find their fun, were empty. The beaches were deserted, litter left from tourists the only thing keeping the sand company. Summer was ending, and the Outer Banks, Paradise on Earth, felt like a ghost town. It was bare. The contrast of its current state, and from what it looked like just a couple of weeks ago was astounding.

-

The speaker that Sarah had brought was playing lowly, relaxing you both as you tanned. It was one of the first few days of summer, and you needed to get that glow that would carry you for the rest of the season. You were enjoying the warmth of the sun on your skin, until you felt something, or someone, block its rays. You picked off your sunglasses, and saw the culprit, JJ, your boyfriend, standing in front of you. His hair was sopping wet, little droplets falling onto your feet as he towered over you.

“What,” you groaned, throwing your forearm over your eyes.

“C’mon Y/N! The waters fine,” he whined, trying to get you to comply. You look at him for a moment before making up your mind.

“Five more minutes,” you said as you put your sunglasses back on, getting back to tanning.

“Fine,” JJ accepted, drawing out the vowel. You heard him stomp away, in a childish manner, which made you smile. You closed your eyes, unwinding again. It didn’t last for very long though, as you were ripped from you relaxation when you heard rapid footfalls coming your direction. You didn’t have much time to process what was happening as JJ picked you up from the sand, and threw you over his shoulder. You screamed as you pounding his back, begging for him to put you down. Your cries for help were abruptly cut off when JJ threw you off his shoulder, and into the salty water. When you emerged from the water, the sound of JJ’s laughter filled your ears, which was impossible to get mad at.

“What the hell was that, Maybank!” You playfully scorned, to which he only laughed harder. You moved to slap his chest, but he grabbed you by the wrist and pulled you in, wrapping his arms around your torso.

“The waves were calling your name, Y/N,” he alleged, making you giggle against his skin. He placed his hands on your cheeks, guiding you up to kiss him. It was a small kiss, but it was filled with so much, you didn’t want the moment to end. You pulled away, and leaned your forehead against his.

The love you saw in his eyes was innocent. It was child-like, and pure. Like nothing could ever get in your way.

-

JJ didn’t realize the memory was playing out in his head. There were tears pouring down his cheeks, and being blown into the wind. He kept his gaze steady on the road in front of him, with a hard face. He was mad. Mad at himself for letting you go. He could’ve had a future with you, but he let it all go to shit.

-

The Fourth of July carnival has been a summer staple for the Outer Banks since anyone could remember, and you went every year. It was one of your favorite summer traditions, and this year, you went with JJ. The night was full of rides, greasy fair food, and booth games, where JJ had won you a large teddy bear.

The night was winding down, people were going home and rides were shutting down, and you were getting pretty tired. You and JJ were holding hands as you were walking towards the exit, along with everyone else. Out of the corner of your eye, you noticed a little boy trip and fall, getting separated from his family in the large crowd. He couldn’t have been older than five years old. You quickly ran towards him, ducking through the mass of people, shouting ‘excuse me’ and ‘sorry’ til you reached him.

“Hey there,” you said as you crouched down, JJ right beside you. The little boy looked up at you with teary eyes.

“What’s your name?” You asked in a sweet voice, trying to calm him down.

“Ryder,” the little boy said through sniffles, his little cheeks red and puffy.

“Ryder? Okay Ryder, is it okay if I pick you up?” You asked in your best baby voice. He didn’t answer, as he made grabby hands, letting out a sob.

“Okay, c’mere bubba,” you cooed as you picked him up. You gave him the teddy bear JJ gave you to calm him down. It worked, as his tears stilled and he was now occupied with the fluffy toy.

JJ was still just standing behind you, not sure of what to do. He looked like a he had just seen a ghost.

“Look out for parents,” you muttered to him, giving him a job. JJ nodded and looked out to the crowd, and quickly spotted a young couple, scrambling around with terrified looks on their faces. JJ tapped your shoulder, and pointed them out to you.

“Is that your mommy and daddy?” You asked Ryder, his eyes following where JJ was pointing. Ryders face lit up when he saw them. He started nodding excitedly.

“Yeah?” You egged, happy that he wasn’t crying anymore.

“Mhmm!” Ryder hummed. He grabbed onto your shirt with excitement.

You and JJ hurriedly maneuvered through the crowd, trying to reach Ryders parents. You guys eventually did, and they were more than grateful. They gave you and JJ many thanks and you parted your ways.

“You’re gonna get real good at that, y’know,” JJ said, smiling down at you.

“What do you mean?” You furrowed your eyebrows at him.

“The whole... taking care of kids thing.” He looked down at his shoes, suddenly getting shy at his own words.

“You mean like, a mom,” you challenged, a bright smile on your face. JJ regained some of his confidence when he saw how you were taking it. You weren’t freaked out at the idea, you were elated. You wanted a future with him, where you could have his kids, and raise a big and happy family.

“Yeah,” he started, swinging his arm over your shoulder.

“Like a mom.” He leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to your lips, enveloping you in everything that was good in the world. You loved JJ, and he made you feel safe and secure. You wanted the longevity and safety with him, and you were excited for your future with him.

-

He was furious at himself now. You loved him so much, and JJ took you for granted. He would never forgive himself for what he put you through.

-

The teens of the Outer Banks all knew one thing for sure, and that was that summer was coming to a close. Everyone wanted to get one last party in before you all went back to your normal and boring routine of wakeup, school, go to sleep, so, that exactly what you all did. Everyone was there, Kooks, Pogues, Tourons, and even a couple mainlanders. It was the biggest party of the summer.

You and Kie were in the middle of the crowd, dancing, drinking, and having a good time. You knew when the summer ended Kie would have to go back to the Kook Academy, and you would have to go away to college, so you wanted to get every last moment that you could with her.

After a while of partying and many, many refills, Kie started to greatly feel the effects of what she was putting in her body. She grabbed onto your forearm to steady herself.

“Woah! Kie! You okay?” You yelled, trying to get her to hear you over the music. When she shook her head no, you started to shove past the mass of people to get her out of the crowd. You flung her arm over your shoulder and held onto it to keep her up and balanced.

“Hey, I’m gonna take her back to the Chateau, she’s not feeling too well,” you said to John B, who was standing guard at the keg.

“Alright, drive safe,” he replied, pity in his voice for Kie.

“Hey, have you seen JJ?” You asked him, realizing you hadn’t seen your boyfriend around.

“Um, no, not for a while.” He stuffed his hands in his pockets, thinking about his answer.

“Alright, well I’ll see you later.” You said your goodbyes once more and made your way to your car, an almost-passed-out Kiara hanging off your shoulder.

When you pulled up to the Chateau, you parked the car and went to the passenger side. You helped Kiara get out of her seat, but she could handle herself a little better now, not needing much help walking anymore.

When you approached the front door, you could faintly hear the bed creaking, and moaning. It couldn’t have been John B, you had just seen him, and Pope wasn’t really the type to bring a girl home.

“What the fuck,” you muttered to yourself, roughly opening the old door. You sprinted to the spare bedroom and yanked the door open, the sight of JJ on top of another girl, a girl that had beautiful blonde hair and a small waist, coming into view.

“Y/N,” JJ began when he saw you. Before he could say anything else, you turned and ran out of the house.

“It’s not what you think,” he yelled after you coming out of the house, only wearing a pair of shorts he could quickly throw on.

“Then what the fuck is it, JJ!” You turned and screamed at him with tears in your eyes. You started to walk back towards him, getting ready to unleash all your anger.

“Because I saw you,” you pointed at him, the tip of your finger coming into contact with his bare chest.

“In bed, fucking another girl.” You pushed him away with your finger. You were seething with anger, your face and ears red, tears free falling down your cheeks.

“We’re done, JJ, we’re done,” you shot as you turned to walk away.

“Babe, please, we can talk about this!” He grabbed your wrist just before you were out of reach.

“Don’t fucking call me that.” You yanked your hand away and left him. Left him to clean up the mess he made.

You got in your car and drove away. You could barely see through the tears in your eyes, but you wanted to put as much distance between you and him as possible. You would never forgive him for this. All of those ‘I love you’s, and ‘You’re everything to me’s meant nothing now, and you weren’t going to fall for them again. You were done with JJ Maybank.

-

JJ rounded the corner to your street, your house coming into view. He didn’t really think through what he was doing, or what he was going to say, he just wanted to see you one last time.

You were putting the last of the boxes into the trunk of your car, getting ready to hit the road and start a new life out of the Outer Banks. You would miss it, though, the beach life. You would miss the sand and the sun, the drinks and the food, and everything in between. You did miss JJ, on some days. You would miss the way his arms curled around your waist, or the random kisses he would place on your neck, but you couldn’t go back to him. He cheated on you, and you weren’t going to forgive him so easily. You’d cut him off that night, never wanting to let him back into your life. If you were going to ever talk to him again, he would be the one to come crawling to you.

You heard the roar of JJ’s bike sounding from the end of the roads, and before you knew it, he was parked on the other side of the street, and getting off his bike to come and talk to you. You hurried your actions, packing up faster so you could leave as soon as possible.

“Hey, Y/N,” he mumbled, afraid to meet your gaze.

“What do you want, JJ,” you asked frankly, not wanting to play any games. You leaned against your car, crossing your arms over your chest.

“I wanted to apologize.” He kicked a pebble, and took in a sharp breath.

“I’m sorry, Y/N.” His voice faltered. You could see the tears in his eyes, but they didn’t faze you. You felt nothing for the boy in front of you.

“Are you sorry you did it, or are you sorry you got caught?” You quizzed. The question made JJ look up at you, but he didn’t have a response.

“Why did you do it?” He looked back to the ground, debating if he should tell you the truth, or just say he was drunk and couldn’t think straight.

“I don’t know, but I do know that I fucked up, and I’m sorry.” His voice broke, and he sounded desperate. He didn’t wipe the tears from his face, he didn’t care if you saw him like this.

“Whatever, JJ,” you sighed, not wanting to entertain this conversation anymore. You walked towards your house.

“So that’s it? You’re just gonna leave?” JJ called across the yard. You felt all the anger from that night bubble inside you again.

“You cheated on me, JJ! What else do you want me to say!” You marched back to him. He had a lost look in his eyes, he wasn’t expecting you to yell like that.

“I loved you! I wanted a future with you! Then you turned around and slept with another girl!” You pointed your finger at his chest again, just like you had before.

“And I will never, ever, forgive you, JJ Maybank.” Your words were venomous, making JJ’s knees falter, and his breath quicken.

“I’m gonna ask you one more time,” you began, the same malicious tone coating your voice.

“Why did you do it?”

He knew he had to tell the truth now, he wouldn’t ever get the chance again. He looked you hard in the eyes, getting ready to let it all out.

“I was scared,” he started, his words quiet.

“You loved me too much, and I got scared.” JJ’s voice was cracking, more tears spilling out.

“No one’s ever loved me like that,” he whispered. You could feel your own tears building up at his words. You didn’t know what to say, or how to feel. All the frustration and anger and sadness he caused you, was because you loved him too much?

“Please, say something,” he pleaded, his eyes searching your face for a reaction.

“You hurt me JJ, and no matter the reason, I can’t take you back,” you began.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered as you moved away from him. You briskly walked around your car to the drivers seat, wanting to escape as soon as possible. You started the car and drove away, watching JJ get smaller and smaller in your rear view window. You were leaving, and starting a new life. You weren’t going to bring baggage from the past into the future. It hurt, though. You did love JJ, but he broke your heart, and you weren’t going to take someone back who had broken your trust.

JJ didn’t go after you. He knew he had lost you for good. He fucked up the one thing he loved with his whole heart, all because he was scared. He wouldn’t forgive himself either. Watching you disappear around the corner of the street shattered what was left of his heart. You were gone for good, and there was nothing he could do.

Taglist: @supremestarkey @lovelymaybankk @blueeyedbesson @whormotional @classywaves @sexytholland @danaerekat @em753 @babyhoneystvles @angelic-boca @milked-down-coffee @dolanfivsosxox @sunwardsss @leekah @http-cherries

[clumsyclifford]

hello bella i would like to ask you about future hearts, not in chronological order, and stories for monday -hazel

WAIT i pressed send too early i also wanted to throw a curveball and ask about the newsies original broadway cast recording :) -hazel

yeesh you picked some good ones hazel. okay. i'm gonna put a cut because four albums is a Lot.

send me albums!

future hearts - all time low

the first song from this album I heard: uhhhhhhh i don't remember, but i......hesitantly......say.......cinderblock garden. but i have no idea why i say that. no i don't really know at all.

do I own the album?: nope

my favorite song: don't you go but also if we're counting b-sides which we should be then how the story ends. and........edge of tonight. and runaways. i know that's a lot of songs i don't care.

my least favorite song: satellite i like it but it's unremarkable compared to the rest of the album and the structure of it is just a little weird to me

a song I didn’t like at first, but now do: there were two future hearts songs that for some inexplicable reason didn't download when i bought the album on itunes back in like 2015 when i used itunes and this album came out so i just didnt know they existed for several months, and those songs were bail me out and edge of tonight. this isnt really relevant since i love both of those songs but i just wanted to share. i guess...i think runaways has grown on me. honestly i think thats a result of including it in baby driver fic, lmao

a song I used to like, but now don’t: well i used to LOVE cinderblock garden and now as you can see i don't list it among my favorites. and the same with dancing with a wolf. and for that matter, also satellite lol

my favorite lyric: another impossible question <3 this doesnt really count but the line in tidal waves "say i'm your filthy little, filthy little-" always makes me smile bc when i was younger and my older sister and i would listen to that song whenever we got to that part we'd both yell WHORE at the top of our lungs. and in fact i still do. real talk though, i think the bridge of missing you might be my favorite lyric in here. "grit your teeth, pull your hair, paint the walls black, and scream 'FUCK the world 'cause it's my life, i'm gonna take it back' and never for a second blame yourself" yeah thats the GOOD shit. WAIT I LIE I HAVE ANOTHER ONE: "beautiful scars on critical veins" (mmm and also "roll like thunder, burn like stars") from kids in the dark. mmmm. and all of edge of tonight. man this album has some gooooooood gaskarth lines.

overall rating out of 10: honestly? 10/10. even with satellite. this is such a good fucking album i constantly underrate it but i love it so much it can do no wrong

not in chronological order - julia michaels (this one is gonna be trickier because i haven't listened to the whole album that many times but i'm gonna put it on while i answer the rest of these so hopefully i can have some real opinions here)

the first song from this album I heard: it would've been lie like this i think, because that song was out before any of the other singles

do I own the album?: nope :)

my favorite song: that's the kind of woman, pessimist, lie like this, all your exes. i really LOVE about half this album and the other half i just don't really know well enough

my least favorite song: orange magic just Does Not do it for me. idk man

a song I didn’t like at first, but now do: well i'm very much still working on familiarizing myself with these songs so i might still be in the phase of "didn't like at first" (betcha anything orange magic will grow on me lmao). there aren't any songs that i've changed my opinion on at least not yet

a song I used to like, but now don’t: see previous answer lol

my favorite lyric: "i love myself, but i'd love her more; that's the kind of woman i'd leave me for" from that's the kind of woman (that shit HITS), also "i'll stop checking horoscopes to cope with all my misery" and "you took a pessimist and turned me into something else" from pessimist because it gives me a lot of hope. and "it was you before i ever decided" from little did i know because :') romance

overall rating out of 10: 8/10 miss michaels KNOWS an album. this would probably be higher if not for orange magic lmao

stories for monday - the summer set

the first song from this album I heard: according to my spotify, all my friends! the first time i listened to this album was on shuffle while writing a prompt fic that was entirely unrelated. i know, it's appalling.

do I own the album?: no <3

my favorite song: MMMNNGNHHGJ i think. i think it's figure me out. and missin' you. yeah. those two

my least favorite song: honest to god i want to say all downhill from here but the little bass riff at the end of that song basically forbids me from saying that. so i'm gonna say change your mind instead. it's the vibiest but thats not why we COME to stories for monday now is it

a song I didn’t like at first, but now do: don't know, maybe all in? i can't remember ever not liking one of these songs tbh. ironically maybe the answer to this is change your mind lol

a song I used to like, but now don’t: well i listened to all my friends about five million times when i wrote that fic based on it so it's in the same situation as i think he knows now. i need a little bit of an all my friends break.

my favorite lyric: bro this is literally an impossible fuckign QUESTION!! the entirety of figure me out. "i'm a bit too punk for the pop kids, but i'm too pop for the punk kids" and "i believe there's more to life than all my problems" both are really close to my heart. the bridge of all in about it being 4am in the parking lot we'll be singing blink songs til the sun comes up, that too. wait wait okay and also: "forever nineteen somehow" from jean jacket and "growing up can make you stupid, why is everyone so scared?" from wasted. okay okay i'm done i'm done

overall rating out of 10: fucking 11/10 bro this is in my top 10 albums ever i'm pretty sure

newsies - original broadway cast recording

the first song from this album I heard: no fuckin idea. it must have been the overture because i never listened to the cast recording before watching the bootleg so!

do I own the album?: i do not

my favorite song: mmm i. LOVE once and for all. but i also love watch what happens reprise. and brooklyn's here. and carrying the banner. ugh fuck i love so many of these songs.

my least favorite song: the bottom line reprise lmfao easy

a song I didn’t like at first, but now do: i don't know, i guess i like the bottom line a LITTLE more than i used to but it's a very low bar. wait actually, the overture. i have a much greater appreciation for an overture than i used to.

a song I used to like, but now don’t: i honestly can't think of one. maybe similar effect to something to believe in? i like it SLIGHTLY less but i still really like it so?

my favorite lyric: EASY answer, this lyric is among my favorites in all of musical theatre, i had it written on my mirror for a long time in high school. this part from seize the day: "behold the brave battalion that stands side by side / too few in number and too proud to hide / then say to the others who did not follow through / 'you're still our brothers, and we will fight for you'"

overall rating out of 10: 9/10. fucking banger of an album. i always say this is the best cast recording for a car ride and i stand by that

[writingfortoomanyfandoms]

Courtney’s 4K/Quarantine Writing Challenge!!

So, not only did I hit 4,000 followers a little while ago (thank you all so much again for that!) but we’re also all stuck inside for the foreseeable future and I know we’re all bored out of our minds (or at least I am) and I don’t read anywhere near enough fics as I should (and as I want to) so I figured since I’m going a Write Fest on my own blog to celebrate 4K (I’ll link it here if you want to check it out) I thought I could extend that to all of you guys as well!

So yeah, writing challenge, premise is pretty simple, I’ve hosted a couple before (lowkey flops but we move), you read the rules, abide by them, pick a prompt and a character and you write!

As always with me, I’m a nerd and so the prompts are split into categories - there are song lyrics, book quotes, comedy quotes and film quotes to choose from!

I hope you guys want to join in with this! I love reading what you guys write and this could be a really fun way to just keep us all moving and inspired over the next few months :)

The Rules

1) You don’t have to be following me but it would be nice because I’m lonely and want friends plz

2) If your piece of writing is over 500 words, please use the ‘read more’ feature

3) Reblog this post to get the word out (and tag anyone who may be interested!)

4) It’s going to be one person per prompt but if needed I can add more prompts

5) Smut is fine but please leave warnings as appropriate (THOUGH NO UNDERAGE CHARACTER SMUT THANKS)

6) On the back of that one, no inappropriate pairings pleaseeeeee

7) Also please make sure you leave appropriate warnings at the beginnings of fics if any sensitive subjects are brought up (e.g. mental health etc)

8) Ships and OC’s are welcome

9) Tag me in your writing!

10) Use the hashtag #Courts4KWritingChallenge

11) If you want to enter send me an ask with the prompt you want and the pairing you’ll be writing it with

12) The deadline for this is 15th July (this can be extended if y’all need it)

Characters/People/Pairings

1) Any of the BoRhap dudes and their characters 

2) (BoRhap!)Queen members (Freddie only platonically)

3) The Hargreeves Children (older!Five only)

4) Richard Madden (+ his characters)

5) Taron Egerton (+ his characters)

6) Rocketman!Bernie Taupin and Ray Williams

7) Smosh Members

8) Jake Gyllenhaal (+ all his various characters)

9) Chris Evans (+ his characters)

10) Sebastian Stan (+ his characters)

11) Any of the 5sos guys (poly!5sos fics also both welcomed and encouraged)

12) Stranger Things peeps (Steve, Billy + Robin/their cast counterparts)

13) One Direction guys (Niall, Harry + Louis)

14) Pevensie children

15) Sex Education (cast + characters)

Prompts

Song Lyrics

“Wake up sunshine, somebody loves you” - Wake Up, Sunshine by All Time Low

“When I take a look at my life and all of my crimes you're the only thing that I think I got right” - Lover of Mine by 5 Seconds of Summer ( @angiefangirlworld-2 w/ Ashton)

“Kiss in the kitchen like it’s a dance floor” - Sunflower Vol.6 by Harry Styles

“There'll never be another, I promise that I'll love you for the rest of my life” - Black and White by Niall Horan ( @unn--known​ w/ someone from 1D)

“Let's keep each other safe from the world” - Lucky People by Waterparks

“Never wanted to be the boy next door, always thought I'd be something more” - Drowse by Queen

“And when I touch you I feel happy inside, it's such a feeling that my love I can't hide” - Hold Your Hand by The Beatles ( @flick-ofthe-wrist​ w/ Roger Taylor)

“It’s hard to think you could ever hate me, but everything's feeling different now” - Too Young by Louis Tomlinson

“All I can do is say that these arms were made for holding you” - 18 by One Direction

“I waited for her call - she always kept me waiting” - The Girl at the Rock Show by Blink-182

Book Quotes

“I am so busy keeping my head above water that I scarcely know who I am, much less who anyone else is” - The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath

“Don’t ever tell anybody anything. If you do you start missing everybody” - The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger 

“Sometimes, I feel the past and the future pressing so hard on either side that there’s no room for the present at all.” - Brideshead Revisited by Evelyn Waugh

“I have measured out my life in coffee spoons” - The Lovesong of J. Alfred Prufrock by T.S. Eliot

“As far as I’m concerned, I came out of the womb spouting cynicism and wishing for rain.” - Solitaire by Alice Oseman

“We cross our bridges as we come to them and burn them behind us, with nothing to show for our progress except a memory of the smell of smoke, and the presumption that once our eyes watered.” - Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead by Tom Stoppard

“Sometimes people are beautiful. Not in looks. Not in what they say. Just in what they are.” I Am The Messenger by Marcus Zusak

“I love her, and that’s the beginning and end of everything” - The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Flitzgerald

“I just want you to know that you’re very special and the only reason I’m telling you is that I don’t know if anyone else ever has” - The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chebowsky ( @coupscarat w/ Damien Haas)

“Was there some kind of rule against drop kicking arseholes in the face? Probably. They always had rules against things that needed to be done” - Made You Up by Francesca Zappia

Comedy Quotes

“You have to treat everybody’s views, no matter what they believe, with respect” “What, even idiots?” Outnumbered

“Well you shouldn’t be prejudiced against fat people, thin people… men who have turned into women, women who have turned into men, gay people, ginger people… people from Liverpool” Outnumbered 

“Stand back kids, this school’s insurance policy doesn’t cover blown minds” Bad Education

“Do you think you could stop being so cheeky?” “Do you think you could stop asking stupid questions?” Outnumbered

“I spend my entire life around people. As much as I would like to, it’s almost impossible to avoid them” The Inbetweeners ( @queen-bunnyears​ w/ Ben Hardy or Sebastian Stan)

“We’re very hufflepuff here, wouldn’t you be happier in slytherin?” Fresh Meat ( @adrenaline-roulette​ w/ Ben Hardy)

“What’s the best way to make friends?” “Tell a woman you love her, and she says ‘I think we’re just friends’” Jimmy Carr, Jon Richardson

“There’s four things you can be in life: sober, tipsy, drunk and hungover. Tipsy is the only one that you’re not crying” James Acaster

“What’s that on your shorts?” “Oh - it’s called excitement” Smosh

“Full disclosure - I could just be an arsehole” Smosh

Film Quotes

“To me, you are perfect” - Love, Actually

“I wish I knew how to quit you” - Brokeback Mountain

“If you start crying, I’m gonna have to pretend to start crying” - Gifted ( @beysenpai​ w/ Chris Evans)

“I’m with you ‘til the end of the line” - Captain America: The Winter Soldier ( @mamaskillerqueen​ w/ Steve Harrington)

“Most of the time I just want to staple things to her head” - Bridget Jones’ Diary ( @hardforbenhardy​ w/ Ben Hardy)

“We’re family. We believe in each other. That’s everything” - Bohemian Rhapsody

“Look around: this guy basically lives in a clue board” - Knives Out

“Too many guys think I'm a concept, or I complete them, or I'm gonna make them alive. But I'm just a fucked-up girl who's lookin' for my own peace of mind; don't assign me yours.” - Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

"What I'm saying is--and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form--is that men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way." - When Harry Met Sally ( @acdeaky​ w/ Ben Hardy)

“You’re loved and have been loved. You’re one of the lucky ones” - Irreplaceable You

[daesungfmd]

𝒃𝒂𝒅 𝒃𝒆𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒊𝒐𝒓.

solo 6  /  wc: 1,921

moral of the story: hwang daesung is a menace. (tw: blood, needles mentioned in a brief anecdote in the context of piercings).

his intentions are cloudy, unreadable ―

he’s a boy who smiles so bright that it seems like he’s in a competition with the sun, talks circles around anyone who’ll listen, begging them to show some interest in the smaller parts of his life. but by the time he’s eight years old, teachers are already writing home about how disruptive he is in class, how he cuts them off mid-lesson to inquire about the color of their cheeks. (”he asked if my skin color is a result of high blood pressure,” one teacher writes, not quite angry, but far from amused. “he doesn’t seem to know how to keep his thoughts to himself”.)

it seems like he never learns, either.

his parents tell him not to answer the door if neither of them are home alone. it’s dangerous, they say, and he humors them by pretending to agree, though his personal belief is that the most dangerous thing in the apartment building is the landlord’s tendency to come looking for day-late rent first thing in the morning with un-brushed teeth. (”does our rent buy your toothpaste?” he asks one morning, in the middle of getting ready for school. the landlord doesn’t think it’s funny, and neither does daesung’s mom as she apologizes on his behalf, stalling while she comes up with some excuse as to why they can’t pay yet. but he sees the smile his dad’s trying to hide, and that makes the scolding that comes later feel worthwhile.)

he listens to the radio too loud while he does chores or pretends to do his homework, turns it up even louder when the lady from apartment 308 comes knocking at the door, undoubtedly to tell him to keep it down in there. there comes a day when he finally opens the door, ignoring every warning his parents had so persistently burned into his mind. before she can speak a single word, he takes the chance to say, “my dad told me you’re angry all the time ‘cause you’re going through a mid-life crisis. i thought you’d be older.” 

he watches her mouth open, close, open, then close again ― evidently, she doesn’t know what to say. when she speaks, her tone reeks of momentary defeat. “your dad told me that you’re eleven, so i thought you’d have learned how to be respectful by now. i guess we were both wrong.”

“i guess so.” the door shuts, locks. he turns the radio back on, louder.

as emotional intelligence puts roots in his brain, acts of blatant disrespect become less frequent but he’s still difficult to predict, impossible to control. a diagnosis of adhd at age 13 turns out to be half the explanation for his fluctuating energy levels, lack of impulse control and forgetfulness, but the consequences of these symptoms are still attributed to having no manners, no home training. condescension from teachers leads to an inherent disdain for a school system that doesn’t serve him, and it turns into hatred the first time his 8th grade homeroom teacher calls him out for the eyeliner he’s wearing.

“the girls aren’t allowed to wear makeup to school, so what made you believe that it would be okay for you to do so?” he asks right after attendance, staring 14-year old daesung in the eyes. he’s lost somewhere between not caring at all and being on high-alert from the embarrassment of the whole class turning to look at him, at his eyes.

“i didn’t realize that the girls had anything to do with me,” he snaps, smart-ass tone contradicting the nervous cracking of his knuckles. “there’s nothing about makeup in the boys’ dress code. if it’s that big of a deal, maybe it should be updated. let me know when it is.”

it’s a terrible way to start off 8th grade year, results in a series of miniature battles between him and the teacher. back-talking that lands him in the hallway with a stack of textbooks held over his head, though they’re dropped on the ground as soon as he’s not being watched ― he takes time-outs as personal breaks, which is later called defiance though it seems like his teacher has no desire to take daesung’s behavioral issues to anyone higher in the chain. on the occasions that he has gate duty, he always calls daesung out, makes him wait ‘til the gates close, then marks him tardy and makes him run laps first thing in the morning.

fair enough.

daesung’s playing a slow game, though, and he eventually lets his teacher think that he’s won. he stops wearing the eyeliner until finals season comes, and then he packs it on heavy, aiming to be called out. the eyeliner isn’t the surprise, though ― it’s the needle and ring in his pocket, pulled out after he’s done scrubbing his makeup off in the sink.

it’s a move made in an act of immature rebellion, and he knows that the purchase hadn’t been the best use of his accumulated lunch money. even as he leans in closer to the mirror, gets the ring attached to the needle and takes aim, he thinks about how the how-to page he’d read had specifically said not to do this in a dingy bathroom, and here he is ―

what’s the worst that can happen?

one, two, oh, fuck. he’s not expecting the blood, and he’s certainly not expecting to have to push and prod the needle until it finally slips through, and he’s not prepared to have to tug at the ring to get it to come loose from the needle and sit presentably on his lip. by the time he’s done, his eyes are bloodshot from unshed tears. he spits one final time, splashes cold sink water against his teeth and against the piercing to wash away the remnants of red. 

it doesn’t turn out to be the power-move he expects it to be, because the school year comes to a close two weeks later and all he’s got to show for it is an infuriated mother, a handful of kids who think he’s lost his mind and a near-infected lip.

it seems to be the last of his raging rebellion ― anger dispels, mischief takes its place. he ends up a trainee under one of the biggest idol companies in the country, and no one fully understands ― not even the other trainees, given the all work and no play expectations shaken by his all play and no work mentality. it feels like all the company employees have his picture and name on some secret list because every time something goes wrong, he’s the first to be questioned. not that he doesn’t deserve it, though; he’s the boy who convinces in-house chefs that yes, he’s supposed to be given bigger portions than everyone else, it’s a health condition. he’s the boy who disrupts practice hours by connecting his phone to blue-tooth speakers. he’s the boy who hides from his responsibilities in narrow, dim corners. he’s the boy everyone expects to drop out, or be kicked out ―

not to be selected for a competition show.

it clears his assumptions that the company has some kind of personal vendetta against him, but it doesn’t make him take the situation more seriously in any way. during his first personal interview, he’s asked, “what do you think you bring to the competition?” and instead of giving an immediate answer, he plays dumb. he doesn’t know why he does it. it’s an impulse, maybe meant to draw time out, make things a little more complicated than they have to be.

“this is a competition?” he questions, and after slowly nodding along to an explanation that he’d already heard an abundance of times, his answer is, “i’m bringing the spirit. i’ll make it fun.”

as the show progresses, the clueless act strengthens ― he’s always asking why, why, why, like a kid on a mission to irritate their parents. criticism sets in, both from instructors and at-home viewers. he hardly cares.

by the time that debut comes, everyone’s made their minds up about him already.

he’s shameless. he’s dense. he’s dumb.

he supposes that they’re not wrong, though; there’s certainly something shameless in the way he interrupts and talks over others, on a constant mission to steal the spotlight. it’s too much, he’s told. he’s too much. a reputation that follows him around for years to come, even once he picks some locks and sneaks his way right into the public’s hearts. he’s annoying in an endearing way, and after a bit of trial and error, he learns just the right ways to draw laughter from crowds ― decides that if he can just make people laugh, they’ll learn to love him. if he can bring a little bit of happiness, then the inconveniences that come with his presence will always be forgiven.

it’s this inherent trust in his ability to be forgiven that he continues to push his luck, break rules, let reminders go in one ear and out the other ―

he’s told that dating is discouraged, but dating fans is completely banned. naturally, his first girlfriend is someone he met at a signing. when he gets caught―not by a manager, but by a close friend―his excuse is that he didn’t know because she never explicitly stated that she knew anything about impulse. (a blatant lie, if her profile picture of their logo is anything to go by).

he sweet-talks his manager into letting him use his card for dinner, promises to return it soon ― then goes clubbing instead and buys rounds for the pretty girl who keeps one hand on his knee, then on his shoulder, then around his shoulders; getting closer and closer, then leaving as soon as he stops paying. (i was hungry, he lies, and i wanted something expensive).

he’s reminded well in advance to be prepared for one of impulse’s trips abroad, then waits until twenty minutes before boarding to reveal that he doesn’t know where his passport is. watches chaos unfold, and pulls his passport out of his pocket with five minutes to spare. “i guess i didn’t stick my hand deep enough in my pocket,” he shrugs, howling with laughter during a sprint across the building, convinced that his group and manager’s annoyance with him won’t last. 

he’s called out for scratching his head too much, comes across a compilation while sneaking around on stan twitter. he can hear a manager’s voice in the back of his head, telling him he should never post anything that could cause a scandal or address any rumors without consulting the company first. naturally, he spends three hours perfecting an apology letter for having lice ― something that isn’t true, but causes a minor stir all the same.

before he knows it, he’s twenty-four and he’s still too much, always too much. it doesn’t matter how mellow he thinks he’s becoming, the reminders that he needs to grow up seem to be lurking around every corner. he nods along absently, but nothing seems to change, and he only reveals the mature side of him―the part that became an adult long before adulthood hit―in fleeting moments, or when he’s with his closest friends.

in any other situation, he remains hwang daesung, the jester. the menace. the prankster. the inconvenience. whatever nickname is bestowed upon him, he’ll accept; he has no interest in telling people what they should or shouldn’t think of him. 

he never has.

[naromoreau]

(sorry if i sent this twice) can you pls write a sharky/reader fic where reader isn’t the deputy but just some college student visiting hope county, and she really likes sharky but he turns her down because she’s just too young for him?

Thank you very much for sending his in and I hope it’s not too late, so here it is! Big thanks to @fluttyseed for giving it a read

Pairing: Sharky Boshaw & Reader (Not Deputy), side Sharky Boshaw / GN Deputy.

Raiting: SFW, just a lot of unrequited feelings :((( and Sharky being all sweet about them. 

"Hop in, chica,gotta take you to this place that's like--like a strategic location for whatyou doin'."

The midday sun'sglare scorched your skin, making you squint and drag an arm across yourforehead to dry the fat drops of sweat sitting there. The air bristled witharomas, the surrounding fields giving off a hint of freshly mowed barley, thatnow mingled with a light note of propane and a touch of musk coming from him.It was intoxicating. 

You haphazardly threwyourself on the passenger seat, cheeks bright red and throat in dire need of agulp of water. 

"Where we going,Sharky?" There was a slight waver in your voice as you rifled in yourbackpack trying to count the vials to take water samples. You couldn't help butbite your lip at how much his proximity kept affecting you, how every time heflashed you that smile, the one that lingered in his eyes, quicksilver poolsglowing with a warmth, your heart fluttered wildly. Hopelessly. 

"There's a--uh,a lake I think you should check." He cranked the engine, and steered hissight on the highway. 

As someone whocould've got lost in her own home town, you were beyond grateful to Mary May tohave sent you to his metaphorical - until now - arms. He knew the ins and outsof trudging across wild Montana, as if he was just walking across his livingroom. Truth was you'd been worried when you realized your project about lakes'pollution needed a bigger sample than the one you already had, and needed toget them before the current semester at college finished. 

It was a good twentyminute ride until finally Sharky slowed down, and the truck stopped near the bankof a pristine lake, tires grating over fine gravel. 

"'Mkay now, youwant me to get them for ya?" He was already peeling off his hoodie, andshucking his jeans off with an enthusiasm that was utterly infectious. 

He'd offered himselffor the task from day one, trying to alleviate any hard labor from yourshoulders, claiming it was a good opportunity to freshen up in the ungodlyheat. You squinted under the heavy brilliance, admiring not for the first timethe multicolor landscape of this side of the County. 

"Sure," yousaid kneeling to take the vials out of your backpack, handing them to him,"just try not to collect too much mud this time, please?"

"Don't worry,amigo, I think I got the nuts and bolts of this shit." 

You watched him enterthe lake in nothing but his boxers, your eyes taking in the sight of him,putting to good use the fact he was obviously focused in doing what you askedfor. The first time he'd taken his clothes off, your eyes had widened of theirown accord, sliding down the lean muscles of his back and chest, and you'dthanked your luck he wasn't paying attention because your face had gone throughseveral shades of red before it stuck in a soft pink that you were able to maskas just exertion. 

He was so easy totalk to and funny to a point you couldn't keep a straight face every time hewas determined to make you smile. Which was often, not that you werecomplaining. And so, falling down that rabbit hole had been unexpected andinevitable, and now you were head over heels with his scrawny ass. 

Everything would'vebeen easier if he wasn't so damn handsome, and you could've just shaken off theinconvenient crush. But when he turned and faced you, smiling as he shook oneof the newly filled vials, and your gaze slid down his abs following his happytrail, you knew you were sunk down in a pit too deep. 

The sad part was thathe didn't seem to notice what he stirred in you, treating you like a friend andnothing more. Not that you haven't tried to move him to act, a little touchhere, and a hand lingering there, but a whole month and you were still empty handed. 

A sudden sloshing ofwater brought you back to reality seeing him proudly showing you hiswork. 

"Got everythingyou needed, chica." 

You tried not to givea wide display of your throat, when you felt your jaw unhinge seeing himcloser, water beads lazily rolling down his body and stopping in the mostinconvenient places. 

"Thanks, Sharkman." 

Taking the preciouscargo of his hands, you focused on the task of putting them neatly away whilehe decided to sprawl next to you, like a taunt to your senses. 

"Now I kindaneed to dry my underwear, cuz I lost the spare ones," he said stretchingon the yellow grass, skin glimmering under golden rays. "What you wanna donow? Any more uh, places you gotta look at?" 

"Notreally," you replied, "but we could go and grab a cold one at theSpread Eagle if you want?" You shrugged trying to feign nonchalance butyour heart was hammering against your ribcage, its rhythm drumming in your earsas well. 

"Gotta say Ilike how you think." He switched onto his belly, exposing his black-cladrear to the shining sun, "not gonna lie to you, chica, I uh, I alwaysthought college girls were all-all uptight and y'know, not nice, but you ain'tlike that."

A soft chuckleescaped you. "Well, thanks, man. You ain't that bad either." Therewas a quiver in your stomach at the downplay of your own feelings, regrettingthe shyness that prevent you to chase some other course of action, becauseyou'd be gone in less than a day, and all this would scatter into fond memories.You sighed. "So it's that a yes?" 

"Fuck yeah,count me in," Sharky nodded, "just wait 'til I don't feel like Ipissed myself and we're good to go." 

The almost faintnotes of a Diana Ross' song blasting from the car, wafted in the air, tanglingwith the stifling atmosphere, and everything was making you dizzy. You foughtthe urge to touch him, maybe brush two inches of his skin and finally find thecourage to voice the feeling you had been trying to disregard for the lastmonth. 

"Y'know, chica?I'm gonna, uh, I'm gonna miss ya," he said covering his face with his capunder the blazing sun. "Had a good time doing all that science shit--- gofigure, a dumb dropout like me."

"You are notdumb, Sharky," you scolded him. It was something that ground your gears tono end, seeing how easily was for people disregard how smart he really was,throwing the same argument over and over again: dumb failure, you ain't morethan a school dropout. "If it wasn't for you I would've failed big time solet's just say this is also yours."

His chuckle rang inyour ears from beneath his cap, until he finally leaned on his elbows andlooked at you. "You're a real friend dude," he said, grinning. 

The weight of hiswords sagged your shoulders a little and you lowered your eyes to the gravelsurrounding the blue lake. Not something you wanted to keep on dwelling. 

"Aight,then." You stood up with a brisk movement, before the blushing had time tocreep up your cheeks. "Let's go get that beer."

----------

"... and lastthing I knew I was smooching it right in the fuckin nose, open mouth andall."

A gurgle of laughterrippled out of you, while images of his story flitted through your mind. An hourhad passed in the most perfect way, while you both shared stories over beers.But nothing had peaked this one yet. 

"Yeah, yeah,laugh all you want, dude-- I'm tellin' ya, that skunk? Meaniest dink ass I'dever--" 

"Kissed?"You offered, feeling tears welling up in your eyes. "I'm sorry-- I'msorry, that was rude." 

"Bet your ass itwas," he said, without stop grinning, taking a swig from his bottle."Don't expect my dates to almost rip my lips off, which it did--motherfucker left a huge scar here, see?" 

When Sharky leanedforward, your heart shivered in your chest, and you regretted you both weresitting side to side, without the table in between to dampen your stupidreactions. 

He stopped a scantinch from your face, pouting, his lower lip on display so you could see a faintscar on it. It must've been the alcohol, and the fact it was round number fourand your stomach was as empty as a wallet before payday, and suddenly it wasimpossible to quash down your leaping heart, his closeness rattling the sundryfeelings revolting in you. 

You pressed your lipsagainst his, hearing a surprised gasp dying in your mouth. It was soft and warmand your hands fell to his thighs, supporting you in your eagerness. 

But as soon as thecomfort of the yearned place came, it swiftly vanished. 

"Woah, woah,there," Sharky panted, clasping you gently by the shoulders, lips red andbreath stuttered, "what you doing, amigo?" 

There was no anger inhis voice, just the soft frowning of bafflement, metal-grey gaze delving intoyou, deep enough to break your flimsy hopes. 

"I'm--I'm sorry,Shark, I don't know what happened to me I just---" You tried not to showhim any tears, but it was harder than you thought. One drop, and then another,streaks ran down your cheeks, completely out of your control and the desire tojust bolt and run into the night churned in your stomach. 

"Hey, hey, easythere," he said, signaling someone for a glass of water and hugging you ina way that made everything more painful. But you couldn't push him away.

When the glass ofwater came, he made you drink it in three short gulps, until your intake of airevened out. 

"Hey, chica, I'msuper flattered y'know?" He cupped your cheek, lightly thumbing the rim ofyour jaw while you struggled not to run away fueled by embarrassment."Like, you're real cute, ok? And so fuckin' smart, but I mean, you're waytoo young--" 

"I just turned20, I know what I want," you retaliated. 

Sharky only chuckled,tilting his head back. "'Kay then, big you, still-- you got all that longass life to live and probably gonna end up with someone who's far better thanme-- I mean I'm pretty great, don't get me wrong," he said, and you huffeda short and hoarse laugh, "but y'know-- cherry, I ain't enough forya."

You were about totell him how wrong he was, how misdirected his guessings were, when you caughtmovement in your peripheral vision. It was one of Sheriff's Whitehorsedeputies. The newest one if your memory didn't fail you. 

"Everything good'round here?" They placed a hand on Sharky’s shoulder, and you saw himpositively turn beet red under his cap. Your eyes were drawn to their face,white flashing through plump lips in an honest smile.

"Yeah, officer,uh-just, uh, just saying goodbye to a friend," Sharky said stumbling uponwords on a higher rate than normal. 

"Ah, well, sorryto interrupt, then." They gave a slight nod, dimples coming to life on awarm face, and they were gone, boots tapping against the wooden floor. 

You saw Sharkyfollowing them with starved sight, eyes almost swaying with the cadence oftheir walking and a hard knot formed in your stomach. 

It was clear as day.After all, you'd seen his whole shenanigans for a month, time long enough soyou could realize he had a crush, the size of a wild moose, on the JuniorDeputy. 

Not much you coulddo, as much as it hurt. 

You found your voiceamidst the inner turbulence. "Y'know man? You should pursue that,"you said with an almost complicit smile, wiping your tears. 

Watching Sharkyambushed by feelings was a whole show. "What? Nah, you got it wrong,sweets- I mean they're a fucking cop, we're like natural enemies--" 

You scoffed."Sure, man, whatever helps you sleep at night, still," you added,"they're really cute." 

"The fuck you'retalking about, chica?" 

"Oh, c'mon,don't be such a liar."

He remained silent fora few seconds before finally springing up, giving you a hand. 

"You reallythink so?" He almost whispered. 

Your illusions anddesires scattered in the air. But he was your friend, and if that was the bondthat should remain, you were determined to honor it. 

"Yeah, man. Whoknows? Maybe that's your destiny right there."

[letterboxd]

Most Picture 2020.

In which we award the Most Picture Oscar to the most-rewatched of the 2020 Best Picture nominees, and track down the Letterboxd member who most obsessively rewatched the Most Obsessively Rewatched Film in our 2019 Year in Review—Avengers: Endgame—to ask “Why?”.

Once again, we dive into the data on the Oscar Best Picture nominees to name not the Best Picture (respect to Parasite!), but what is the Most Picture, as in, which of the nine 2020 finalists was rewatched the most by Letterboxd members?

And the 2020 “Most” Picture Award goes to… Once Upon a Time in Hollywood.

Letterboxd member Movie15 has the distinction of having logged Once Upon a Time... in Hollywood the most—a whopping 26 times since its August release, and though he hasn’t reviewed it on Letterboxd, we’ve enjoyed his quest to see Tarantino’s latest in as many Los Angeles movie theaters as possible, on 35mm as often as he can.

Bong Joon-ho’s multi-Academy-Award-winning masterpiece, Parasite, comes next, just 859 views behind—Khoi is the Letterboxd member who has most obsessively rewatched the film to date, with eleven recorded watches. Third place (and almost 14,000 views behind the two leaders) goes to Joker, watched the most (seventeen times) by Kenai Fleck, a hard-core Batman fan.

In fourth place, Little Women. Micah Simmons has logged the film fourteen times (but may in fact be pushing 20 views). On the thirteenth view, “I have nothing to add, except for mentioning a shot right before the scene where Amy does *the thing* to Jo, and there’s a crazy shot that foreshadows *the thing* so well and fuck this movie is smart.” Then come Marriage Story, The Irishman, 1917, Jojo Rabbit and Ford v. Ferrari in that order.

The official Letterboxd Most Picture list reveals the combined number of watches for all members with two or more entries for these films.

The Rewatches We Logged Along the Way

Avengers: Endgame was the Most Obsessively Rewatched Film of 2019 in our Year in Review, which means it had the highest number of Letterboxd members logging it five or more times in their diaries.

Member Max Joseph has the distinction of having logged Avengers: Endgame more times than any other. When we told him we needed to know why, he replied: “I’d be honored to talk about my love for Avengers Endgame!” Spoilers follow in this Q&A with Max (though at this point if you haven’t seen Avengers: Endgame it’s probably only because Max has watched it for you). This interview was conducted prior to the 2020 Academy Awards.

How many times do you think you have seen Avengers: Endgame? Max Joseph: Well, I’ve logged it 26 times as of today. But I also think there are a good three or four watches I didn’t log because I occasionally put it on before bed, and just never logged it. So I’d say my final answer is 29, but that honestly may be lowballing it. I have a feeling that by the time the Oscars roll around, it’ll probably be at 30. I always watch every single film, documentary and short nominated for the Oscars, and thankfully, Endgame was nominated!

What’s your reaction to the news that you are the member who has logged it the most? Kind of shocked! I really didn’t even realize how many times I watched it until you told me! I watch Avengers: Endgame because it brings me happiness, and I love the adventure! When it finally came out on Blu-ray and digital, there were a few times I would watch it multiple times in one day. Then I’d throw something else on, then get upset that I wasn’t watching Avengers. So maybe it isn’t as shocking as I had thought!

What keeps you coming back to it? I love all genres of film. Take this season for example. I love the more meaty and dramatic films like Parasite, 1917, Waves, Queen & Slim. I love comedies like Jojo Rabbit and Booksmart. Animation like Toy Story 4, Frozen II and Klaus.

But, you give me someone flying, turning invisible, super speed… that’s where I live. Superhero movies are just my favorites, and I think the reason I keep coming back to Avengers: Endgame is because besides being a superhero movie—which I just naturally gravitate towards—in Endgame, I get a little bit of every genre and mood. I also like that it’s split up into three acts, and each act gives me what I want in a superhero movie:

Act one is the slow burn, which we never really got in the MCU up to this point. It’s the aftermath of Avengers: Infinity War, and them dealing with the implications and the new normal of the universe. And this gives a chance for the story to build, and our actors to show off, especially Robert Downey Jr., Chris Evans and Scarlett Johansson. It gives something new to the fans of the franchise and is one of the biggest reasons I keep coming back for more.

Act two is the “time heist” and it is a pure love letter to the fans of the franchise. They revisit some of the best parts of our MCU journey over the last eleven years and mess with it. Is it fan service? Absolutely! But I think they did it right.

Act three is the final battle at the now-destroyed Avengers headquarters. And this was where the slow burn pays off. It is what we’ve all been waiting for since 2008. The grand finale. The culmination of eleven years and 22 films. We are gifted my favorite battle I’ve ever seen, bone-chilling and heartbreaking moments, as well as the most cathartic endings to the most epic story I’ve ever had the privilege to watch, nearly 30 times over.

What have you noticed with each rewatch? Two things: firstly, how unbelievable the visual effects are. I may be alone in this, but I think Marvel has the best visual effects on the planet. By miles. And rewatching this makes me appreciate how much time and dedication was put into making this. So much happened behind the scenes, that I personally don’t really think about while watching it. But after 26 views, I start to think about green screens, the motion capturing, all of those elements, it’s insane! Go on YouTube and just check out all of that work they did visually. It’s beautiful.

Secondly, how brilliant Robert Downey Jr. is. I’ve been saying it for years, but RDJ was born to play Tony Stark. Has he had many other brilliant performances throughout his career? Absolutely. But I think that if he was not cast as Iron Man, this franchise wouldn’t have turned out the way it did. He is the heart of the MCU. And he has so many brilliant moments throughout the film, meets his dad during the “time heist”, the realization of “the one”, even the way he interacts with his daughter, Morgan. It’s truly exceptional work. I think it’s his best performance as Stark.

What is the single greatest scene in the film? Oy, well that’s near impossible. A few standouts are Cap wielding Mjölnir, the scene with Tony and his dad, the reveal of Professor Hulk, thicc Thor, Cap vs. Cap, “the snap”. There are so many! But I think the popular answer is also the greatest, and that is when our Avengers return.

As soon as I heard Sam Wilson’s (Falcon) voice, I lost my mind. And they brilliantly added “On your left” right before all the portals open up. “On your left” is a callback to Captain America: The Winter Soldier. That’s the first line of the movie, and is repeated again at the end. Both times are between Sam and Steve, and it was the same in Endgame. And then you add Alan Silvestri’s score (the song is titled ‘Portals’) which is building and building with emotion, which leads into Cap finally saying…

“Avengers (music cuts) Assemble”… (enter Avengers theme song)

It. Is. Perfection. I have chills as I type this. It was probably the greatest theater experience I’ve had in my life. I was sobbing. Imagine how I was by the end…

What has the overall Avengers cinematic adventure meant to you? I remember seeing the first Iron Man in theaters with some friends in 2008. We all dressed up in suits, because we were at a high school awards show kind of thing, and just went straight to the theater, and we had the best time. From the first moment ’til the end, when Tony says, “I am Iron Man”, then Black Sabbath’s ‘Iron Man’ starts playing, my jaw was on the floor. I gave a standing ovation. In a suit. From that moment on, I knew that this was made for me.

It has given me the greatest moments in a movie theater, incredible discussions with friends and strangers, and although it may seem cheesy, some much-needed happiness in some of the most difficult times in my life. I watch these stories because I love them. They mean something to me. They are an important part of who I am.

What would you say to people who say that blockbusters like these aren't ‘real’ cinema? Hahaha! This is a hilarious question, and I’m thrilled that you asked it. I’ve actually had a good 20 people ask me this, and I always said that I’d write something or make a video about it, so here we go…

Let me start off by saying that Martin Scorsese is arguably one of the greatest directors of all time. I love his work, I respect it, and I encourage everyone to watch his full repertoire, ’cause it’s beautiful.

That being said… ‘real cinema’ is a matter of opinions. To me, Avengers: Endgame is just as much real cinema, as The Irishman, Goodfellas, The Shawshank Redemption, The Godfather, anything. I don’t care who you are, you can be Martin Scorsese, Kevin Feige, one of my friends, a stranger, I don’t think you have the right to tell me what is ‘real cinema’. You can say something isn’t good, or only being made to earn a profit, but you don’t get to say that movies like this aren’t worthy of being ‘real cinema’. To me, they are. You’re more than entitled to that opinion! I just happen to disagree with you, but you’re not wrong by any means. I’m entitled to my opinion, you’re entitled to yours. And that’s what it comes down to. Opinions.

Thicc Thor—keep or send back to the gym? I totally don’t care. Taika Waititi figured out how to write that character in Thor: Ragnarok, and thankfully they continued writing him this way in Endgame. So as long as the writers continue on the path that Waititi sent him on, I’m good. Make him thicc, give him an eight-pack, as long as the character has purpose and the lines flow naturally, I’m more than satisfied with whatever he looks like.

How amped are you to learn more about Natasha’s background in this year’s Black Widow? Finally! We’ve been waiting since Iron Man 2, and it is finally time for the Black Widow movie she deserves! I’m fascinated by the Red Room, which was where she started her training as a Russian spy. They showed us glimpses of her beginnings in 2015’s Avengers: Age of Ultron, and I’ve always been hungry for more information because it looked really interesting.

I also think that we may finally find out what happened in Budapest. It was first mentioned in The Avengers back in 2012, as a bit of banter between Black Widow and Hawkeye (Jeremy Renner), and has kind of been a mystery ever since. It was actually mentioned again in Endgame. I’m basing this on the San Diego Comic-Con Hall H panel. There was a title card that said “Budapest”, so it would make sense that we’re gonna get what we’ve been asking for!

I’m also thrilled because the cast is awesome. Obviously double Oscar-nominated actor this season, Scarlett Johansson, Rachel Weisz, David Harbour and one of my favorite actors, Florence Pugh, who had an unbelievable 2019, with Fighting With My Family, Midsommar (one of my favorite performances of the decade), and she topped it off with an Oscar-nominated performance in Little Women!

What do you think should win best picture at this year’s Oscars? Parasite. And it’s not even close. I think Parasite is one of the greatest films I’ve seen in my life. I think it deserves that number one slot on your Top 250 Narrative Features list.

It features the best performance from an ensemble, Song Kang-ho should have been nominated for supporting actor (he should be winning). The production design is fabulous. They literally built the Park family’s house for the film! Hong Kyung-pyo’s photography is worthy of being framed. He created a few shots that are permanently engraved in my head (in a good way). And of course, Bong Joon-ho’s direction flows with emotion and his script is original, gripping and electric. He is the definition of a visionary, at the top of his game.

Parasite is the crowning achievement of the decade and should be awarded as such. It would be the perfect way to end the decade with the first foreign-language film (now titled “International Feature Film”) winning Best Picture at the Oscars. #BONGHIVE all the way!

What do you think will win? My heart says Parasite, but I think it may end up going to something like Once Upon a Time… In Hollywood, The Irishman or 1917 (which is in my top ten this year). The easy answer is probably Hollywood because it won the Globe, but that doesn’t always translate into an Oscar.

But if it’s not Parasite, I think it should be 1917. It is a technical work of art from Oscar, Golden Globe and Tony Award-winning director Sam Mendes. Roger Deakins outdid himself and is pretty much guaranteed to earn his second Oscar [update: he did!]. Thomas Newman’s score is probably my favorite of the year (possibly of his career), followed closely by Emile Mosseri’s for The Last Black Man in San Francisco and Hildur Guðnadóttir’s for Joker. And George MacKay and Dean-Charles Chapman should be on everyone’s radar. They’re phenomenal. It’s shaping up to be quite a race this year!

What’s your favorite thing about Letterboxd? I think the reason I love it so much is because it feels like a family. I’ve had such a passion for the cinema for my whole life, and I like to share it wherever I can. But other social platforms (as wonderful as they are), aren’t always the best place to post about every single movie I’ve watched, or a top ten that I make. Letterboxd is the only place where I can let out all of my opinions, all of my thoughts, without feeling embarrassed or like I’m bothering anyone when I say how perfect Avengers: Endgame is. Or if I watch it and spot something new, I can post about it, and have great conversations about what I’ve discovered. It is the place for movie lovers, and it actually helped me love movies more, and to learn more about the crews, studios, and everything behind the film.

[superfreakerz]

TDDUP 15

“Til Death Do Us Part”

Rated M for eventual smut and heavy themes.

Immortal/Reincarnation AU.

Summary: There are immortals and there are those who reincarnate, but it’s best to keep these things hidden. Lucy is attending college and meets Natsu, a boy with pink hair, a devilish smile, and a body that never ages.

Read earlier chapters on FF.net

Chapter 15

Breaking Point

The rest of the weekend passed by in the blink of an eye. It was an emotionally taxing time filled with tears for Lucy, but luckily it was all behind her now. She wasn't going to worry about her feelings for Natsu or have to see that asshole, Bora, ever again. She was even going to push her reincarnation to the back of her mind, no longer going to dwell on it and its complications in her life.

She was going to live life the best she could from now on.

Lucy wrapped a scarf around herself. With it getting closer to winter, the temperature was dropping each day. Oh, how she missed her mini-skirts and crop tops.

Ready for school, the girl grabbed a granola bar on the way out, this time being alone. She'd forced Natsu to go back to his place last night, desperately needing a night to herself for a change. As much as she loved her friends, she needed some time alone as well. The boy had pouted and resisted at first, but eventually he had jumped out her window with a declaration of seeing her tomorrow.

Lucy made it to school quickly, her steps hastened by the frigid air. As always, Levy and Jellal were already there.

"Good morning!" Lucy greeted, taking her seat.

"Morning, Lu-chan!" Levy replied while Jellal nodded towards the blonde. "You ready for midterms coming up?"

"In this class and math, yes. In science, I'm not sure. I hope so. What about you?"

"I feel pretty confident!"

"As you should. You're the smartest student in this school!"

"Hey, it's not just me!" Levy pointed to Jellal. "Jellal is at the top of the school, too."

"Really?"

The boy nodded. "It is nothing."

Lucy chuckled. He was always modest.

With a small frown on her face, Levy changed the subject. "Still, even if I'm confident about the midterms, I hate that it's happening so soon. That means that we're halfway done with this quarter! We're going to have to change classes soon! I love this class, and having a class with you, Lu-chan!"

"Me too," the blonde replied, mirroring the other girl's expression. "But we'll still be friends, right? We were friends before we had a class together, and we'll be friends after!"

It was funny. Before, she worried about not being friends with Levy and the others if they were to be separated by the new quarter. Thanks to Natsu's reassurance, she wasn't scared in the slightest. Her bonds with her friends were growing stronger each day, enough for her to believe in their friendship surviving despite not seeing each other as often.

"You're right," Levy agreed.

Soon enough, Capricorn entered the classroom with his usual air of elegance. With that, class began.

Once class finished, Lucy wasn't surprised in the least to find Natsu waiting outside the room. Instead of his usual baggy sweats and his strange, one-sleeved coat, he adorned black jeans and a red shirt with a black dragon on it. Lucy rarely saw him wear normal clothes. It was a refreshing change.

"Yo, Luce! Let's go before Aquarius kills us for bein' late!" he said. His face split into a cheeky grin, one that had her heartrate picking up and her face filling with heat. She didn't understand how girls weren't constantly fawning over him; he was by far one of the most attractive boys she'd ever seen, even though his appearance may have been slightly outlandish.

"Okay!" she replied, jogging up to him. Turning to Levy and Jellal, she gave them a wave. "Bye, guys! I'll see you at Fairy Tail!"

The two walked briskly towards the other end of the school, trying to hurry their way through the throng of students. Luckily, they managed to make it to class in time and even have a couple minutes to spare. Heading to their usual seats, Lucy waved towards Gray. Sometimes, he would be with Natsu to walk with her to class, but for the most part, he waited for them in the classroom.

"Hey, Lucy," Gray greeted with a relaxed smile.

"Hi, Gray!" the blonde replied. She was going to stay by the boy's side to talk to him a little longer, but Natsu gently nudged her to keep moving to her seat.

Before the three could even begin a conversation, Aquarius sauntered into class. As usual, her brows were slanted in annoyance as she peered at her students. Lucy wondered why the lady even became a teacher when her hatred for students was very apparent.

"We're reviewing for the midterm today. I expect all of you to keep your mouths shut during today's lesson unless you want to fail your exam," the professor said, glaring at everyone.

And so, class began as always, with the students sitting silently and praying not to be called on. Lucy surveyed the room. There were quite a few empty seats. Almost half of her classmates decided to drop the class, no doubt because of Aquarius' harsh demeanor.

"Getting on her good side is impossible. There's no way I'll win this bet with Natsu!"

As if reading her thoughts, the pink-headed boy gave her a smug grin.

"Good luck," he whispered to her. "You're gonna need it."

"I am your source of food. Are you sure you want to bug me?"

Natsu covered his mouth with his palm and chuckled into it, quiet enough so not as to gain Aquarius' attention. Annoying Lucy in this class was risky considering it was hard not to laugh when he did, but seeing her face scrunch up was worth it.

Time ticked by slowly, but soon enough, class was over.

"Before you brats leave," Aquarius started, her voice sharp enough to pause everyone's movements, "I'll be having a tutoring session after class for those of you idiots that don't pay enough attention. Don't wanna fail? Then stay. Got it?"

Students glanced at each other, wondering if they should stay in the demon's lair longer than necessary.

"Oh, Lucy," Aquarius said, startling the said girl. "I need you to stay after class and help tutor. That okay?" Lucy opened her mouth to speak but was cut short. "No objections? Good. Alright, let's get started."

"…I guess I'm staying here?" Lucy said, turning towards Natsu and Gray.

"I'll stay here too then and wait for you," Natsu replied. "What about you, Gray?"

"Oh fuck that," the boy replied. "This class is bad enough, there's no way in hell I'm staying longer than I have to. Later!"

"Traitor!" Natsu and Lucy shouted at the boy's retreating form.

Lucy turned back to the rest of the class, surprised to find that about half of the class decided to stay. Aquarius ordered everyone to arrange their desks into a circle.

"Lucy, you sit by me," Aquarius said without even sparing the girl a glance. She did, however, glare at Natsu. "You. Leave."

"What? But I wanna stay for the tutoring!" Natsu replied.

"No you don't. You've aced every test, you don't need tutoring. You just want to bother everyone. Get the hell out already."

"No way! I'm stayin' with Lucy!"

Aquarius gave him a threatening glare and cracked her knuckles. "Huh? Did you say something, punk?"

Natsu gulped. "U-Uhh, no ma'am! Later, Lucy!" With that, he dashed out of the room before the professor could pummel him into nothing.

Lucy sighed. "Wimp."

The next hour went by smoothly with Lucy and Aquarius dividing and conquering the class. They went through a review sheet, going through each of the questions and solving them with the students that were struggling and showing them the right steps. Even though it wasn't something Lucy had signed up for, she didn't have too bad of a time. Plus, it probably helped put her in a better light with Aquarius.

"Maybe I can win this bet after all!"

When the tutoring session finally ended, Lucy and Aquarius stayed behind while the rest of the students left.

"Thanks for staying," Aquarius said.

Lucy arched a brow. That was the first time she'd ever heard the woman say anything nice. "Don't mention it! It was a good review for me too!"

Aquarius clicked her tongue. "Tsch. Kiss ass."

"Hey! I just helped you out! Maybe you could be nicer to me for a change!"

The professor gave a smug grin and crossed her arms, sitting on her desk. "Oho? Is the little brat upset? Well too bad. It's a hundred years too early for me to be actin' all nice to a snot-nosed punk like you."

Lucy sighed. Despite the woman's cold demeanor, the blonde could tell she was making progress. Being harsh was just how Aquarius held herself.

"Yeah, yeah. Well, I better get going then."

"Wait," Aquarius said. "I guess I can at least treat you to some food tonight. Come on. Let's go." Without waiting for a reply, the woman walked out the door.

Lucy's eyes widened. Today was one hell of a day for her. Figuring there was no point in arguing with Aquarius, she rushed after the older woman.

The two walked in an awkward silence to a nearby bakery, Lucy walking a step behind the older woman. Aquarius ordered a cup of tea for herself along with a bagel while the blonde ordered some banana bread. Settling at a table in the corner of the store, they sat in another awkward silence until Aquarius finally broke the ice.

"So, tell me about yourself," she said, biting into her bagel.

Lucy arched a brow. "Umm, there's not much to tell. I like to read and write."

Aquarius smirked. "No wonder you can't get a boyfriend."

"Sh-Shut up!" Lucy replied, her face burning bright red.

The older woman laughed. "What about the pinkie you sit next to in class? The annoying one?"

"Natsu?"

"Yeah. It's obvious you two got a thing for each other. You going for it?"

"I-I don't have a thing for him!"

"Oh shut up. It's obvious you do, there's no point in lying."

Lucy's blush grew tenfold. "Okay, fine. You got me. And no, I'm not going for it."

"Why not?"

"I'm not ready for it."

"Why not?"

Lucy frowned, tearing off a piece of her bread and plopping it into her mouth. "There's a lot of reasons…"

Aquarius gave her a hard look. Lucy could swear that the other girl looked understanding.

Instead of teasing her, which was what Lucy thought she was going to do, Aquarius glanced out the window, her expression serious. "You'll never be ready for it."

"I-I know I may seem like a kid, but I'm sure I'll be ready for it some day!" Lucy argued.

"No, not that. I don't mean it like that." Aquarius turned to look at her, her voice serious as if she was speaking from experience. "The truth that nobody will tell you is that you'll never be ready for it. There is never going to be a perfect time. Not for us."

"Us?" Lucy wondered. Instead of questioning the woman, she listened.

"You're always going to be scared," Aquarius continued. Her voice didn't hold the harsh edge to it that it usually did while in class. It seemed like she was actually trying to give her advice. "You're always going to be scared of the risks. Scared of what could happen in the future. That's why you'll never find the perfect time that other people do. You'll always doubt it and convince yourself that there'll be a perfect time later in the future."

Lucy frowned. "What am I supposed to do then? Give up?"

"The opposite, actually. You're supposed to charge in."

"Charge in?"

"Yeah. It's something you're scared of because of the consequences it could have. Instead of dwelling on that and living life like it's some kind of record, living each day like they're the same, take charge of the situation you're in. Make it new. Don't let your situation confine you. Charge into the unknown and see what it has in store for you."

Lucy's eyes widened, her mouth parting slightly. Her friends had told her to wait until she was ready. To wait for the right moment to come along. And here was Aquarius, telling her the complete opposite. While her friends' advice was reassuring, something about the way Aquarius was talking had her believing in her advice more.

Her friends didn't talk as if they understood. In fact, they didn't understand. They were all matched with the love of their lives. Sure, Juvia had to wait for Gray to be ready, but she wasn't the one that wasn't ready.

And while Lucy was positive that Aquarius didn't understand completely, her serious expression made it seem like she was talking from experience, especially when she was talking about reliving each day like they're the same. Lucy had done that for lifetimes.

For a moment, Lucy had felt like someone had understood her in a way that nobody else had, not even Natsu. She couldn't explain it at all, but it was like there was something behind Aquarius' eyes that had her believing her.

Suddenly, a sigh brought Lucy out of her thoughts.

"Alright, I'm leaving. I've got a date," Aquarius said, her demeanor changing entirely from that of a demon to one of a gushing teenage girl who'd just talked to her crush for the first time. The woman glanced towards Lucy, a smug grin spreading over her lips. "I bet you don't have a date, huh?"

Lucy flushed, her brows slanting in annoyance. "So what!? I'm still young!"

"Psh, whatever you tell yourself to get you through the night. At this rate, you'll never get yourself a boyfriend!"

"Yeah, yeah! I don't need that coming from my teacher, thank you very much! Just go on your stupid date already!"

Aquarius chuckled, raising her hand in a wave before heading out. With that, Lucy paid for a cup of hot chocolate before leaving the bakery and onto the streets of Magnolia, which were nearly empty with it being late at night. Cold air washed over her, causing her body to shiver. If only she had a certain pink-headed boy by her side so that she can use him as her own little heater.

Though, just thinking of the boy seemed to do the trick of warming her body up. Her thoughts reeled back to Saturday night, when they had their encounter with Bora. Natsu had stepped in and literally punched someone in the face just to defend her honor- and while yes, she was perfectly capable of doing so herself and probably would have if she'd been given a couple more seconds, it was nice to see that somebody else cared enough about her to do that. It was even nicer that that someone just so happened to be the boy she liked.

Heat rushed to her cheeks, along with the pit of her stomach as she imagined Natsu punching Bora in the face. Just picturing it made the area between her thighs tingle, and though she was inexperienced, she wasn't oblivious to what that meant. For some reason that she couldn't explain, seeing Natsu punching Bora in the face for her turned her on.

Lucy squealed, covering her face with her hands, glad that nobody was around to see her in such a state. She couldn't help but replay the moment over and over again in her head. Just imagining the protruding veins on his arms, his toned muscles, and the fire that was lit in his onyx orbs was enough to turn the faint tingling sensation into a dull ache that needed to be put out. Unfortunately, the way that she wanted it to be put out- the way that embarrassed her just thinking about- was completely out of the question.

This wasn't the first time the girl had thought about sex. She was twenty-one, of course it had popped into her head on multiple occasions. Before, she would shove those thoughts to the back of her mind as quickly as they came, not wanting to picture herself with the strangers that she was thinking about. But with Natsu, she found herself welcoming the thoughts, as embarrassed as they had made her. Her newfound interest, thanks to the boy, was the reason she started writing her smutty story. Since she couldn't have it in real life, she wrote down what she wanted in words.

"I wonder what Natsu's doing right now," Lucy thought. Her mind was always wrapped around him. "I was gone much longer than I thought I'd be, so he's probably not in my apartment anymore if he was before. He's probably at his place."

Her head told her to just go home, that she could just see Natsu tomorrow. But her heart, which had unfortunately taken the reins of her body from her brain, had her taking the next turn towards Natsu's apartment. She thought of Aquarius' advice.

Charge in.

"I'll just drop by to let him know that I'm done tutoring now!" she thought, conveniently dismissing the fact that she could do so over the phone.

Part of her felt rude for dropping by unannounced. As Lucky Lucy Heartfilia, she had been raised not to do such a thing. But considering Natsu literally climbed through her window most days of the week, she figured she could show up at his place for once.

The walk didn't take too long and she made it there in about ten minutes. She'd only been over to his apartment once- every time she suggested going to his place after the night she got hammered playing beer pong, he'd always steered her clear from it with some sort of excuse. Still, she had memorized which complex was his.

With an excited skip in her step, Lucy approached the front door. Knocking twice, she waited for him to come answer the door. Getting no reply, she knocked again. Still nothing.

Lucy arched a brow. Glancing towards the window, she frowned. Natsu always invaded her home by barging through her window, should she do the same to him? Every rational fiber in her being told her not to, but the childish side of her, the one that wanted revenge, had her looking over her shoulder to see if anyone was watching her before she approached the window. She reached out and pulled on the window to see if it would even open in the first place or if he had ironically kept it locked. Fortunately for her, it was unlocked.

Checking again to make sure that nobody was around- she really didn't want someone to call the cops on her, thinking that she was breaking into someone's apartment- the girl mustered up the courage to finally squeeze herself through the window. His window was small and her curvy figure wasn't making it any easier for her, but she managed to push herself through.

Now inside, Lucy closed the window behind her. Turning back around, her jaw dropped on its hinges of the sight ahead of her.

The place was spotless.

And not just in an uncharacteristically clean sense, but it was completely spotless and empty. There wasn't any furniture, even the table that they had used for beer pong gone. Confused, Lucy headed for the kitchen. Even all of the cupboards were empty. She investigated every other room, finding the same.

There was no sign of someone living there, no traces of Natsu at all.

"What's going on?" Lucy wondered, her hand clenching her scarf. Her mind reeled back to the time she had caught Gray lying to her.

"Oh my god would you two just date already?" Gray said, cutting into their conversation with a look of disgust. "You two sound like you're married!"

Lucy's face was set ablaze. "W-What!? No we don't! Shut up, Gray!"

"You so do! I mean, the guy spends the night at your place more than he does at ours!"

Lucy opened her mouth to retort when she caught something. "Ours? What do you mean? Natsu has his own apartment."

The whole group stiffened, every pair of eyes glued on her.

"Oh, uhh, I meant Fairy Tail. You know, to hang out," Gray had said. "I meant to say that he hangs out at your apartment more than he does here."

She had known back then that that was a fat lie. They were too intent on her reply and Gray was talking about spending the night, not hanging out. Mixing them up was too unbelievable. Still, she had shoved it to the back of her mind. They were her only friends and she was finally making progress with them, she didn't want to lose that.

But this was too much.

Not only did they all lie to her face about that, but they also refused to let her come over to their apartments. Plus, there was that time when the girls all got home at the same time. And now, the apartment that Natsu had supposedly lived in was completely empty. Surely he would have told her if he moved; she was supposedly his best friend, after all. But he didn't.

Which meant that something else was going on too.

There was something fishy happening, and Lucy could no longer push her doubts aside. It was time to confront Natsu in person and finally get the truth.

Reaching her apartment, Lucy fumbled for her keys. Standing outside, she took a deep breath, trepidation filling her veins. The thought of confronting Natsu made her anxious. She didn't want their friendship to be ruined over it, not after he had become someone so precious to her.

But she needed to know.

With her reincarnation, there was no telling what someone would do to her if they found out her secret. She was sure that she would be locked up in some institution or used as some sort of lab rat if someone found out. And with the secret that all of her friends were hiding, the doubts in her starting to pile up to the point where she could never look at them the same way void of suspicions. She needed to know.

But what if she was right? What if they were actually onto her and were there to take her away? The thought of being betrayed like that by the people she called her friends was enough to make her sick to her stomach.

Mustering up the courage she had, Lucy unlocked the door and went inside. Her brows were furrowed, and her eyes were lit with determination to find out the truth. Though, her resolve did falter a bit once she saw Natsu sitting on the couch, flashing her one of his heart-stopping grins.

"Yo, Luce!" he greeted with a wave. "Took you long enough!" With a smug grin, he waved her journal in the air. "Took me a while, but I finally found your new hiding spot. Geez, Lucy. You must've sucked at hide and go seek when you were a kid because you suck at hiding this thing. I mean, really, under your mattress? That's like the go-to spot to hide things! Everyone knows that!"

Lucy stayed silent, staring Natsu down. She hated that she couldn't look at him the same way anymore. It was too late. Her suspicions had taken over her.

Natsu sensed something was wrong immediately. On any other occasion, Lucy would've been jumping over the couch to try and take back her journal and beat him senseless while she was at it. But this time she stayed quiet, looking at him funny. And not a good kind of funny, either. It was like she was glaring at him.

"Lucy? What's wrong?" Natsu questioned, getting off the couch and walking up to her. A frown graced his face. "Did something happen at tutoring? Did Aquarius say something?"

Instead of answering his question, Lucy asked one of her own. "Who are you?"

Natsu's brows shot up and he cocked his head to the side in confusion. "Huh? What do you mean?"

"It was a simple question, Natsu. Who are you?"

Now it was Natsu's turn to glare at her. "It's not a simple question. I don't get it. You know who I am, so why're you asking?"

"Because I really don't know you at all," Lucy said, anger etched into her features. "All this time, I've been hanging out with you despite knowing hardly anything about you. I know what you've told me, but who knows what's the truth at this point?"

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about the fact that you've been lying to me from the start! You and everyone else!"

"Lucy, I have no idea what you're talking about! Just tell me already so we can talk about it!"

Lucy swallowed thickly, refusing to break eye-contact with Natsu. Accusing him was painful for her, but she had to get to the bottom of it.

"Where do you live?"

Natsu's eyes widened, his mouth going dry. His heart had stopped in his chest, but not in the good way, like whenever Lucy flashed him a smile. No, this was different. It stopped as fear took hold of his heart and squeezed it painfully.

Had Lucy found out their secret? Had he really slipped up enough to reveal everything?

"W-What do you mean?" he choked out. "You've been to my place!"

"So you still live there? You haven't moved or anything?"

"Of course not, weirdo! I would've told you if I did!"

Lucy's throat tightened in pain, tears creeping in her eyes. There it was. Another lie, right to her face.

"Then let's go there," Lucy said, not backing down. "Right now."

"R-Right now?"

"Yep."

"Umm, okay. Let me just call Erza first and invite them, too! It'll be more fun that way!" Natsu reached into his pocket for his phone. It was going to be hard to discreetly tell Erza to get that apartment ready, but he had to do it. Lucy wasn't taking no for an answer.

Lucy grabbed his wrist, stopping his movements. "No. Just us."

"Why just us?" Natsu asked, dread filling him to the core.

Lucy ignored him, a frown spreading over her face while her eyes turned to the floor. The tears that she'd been holding in slid down her cheeks.

Natsu's heart shattered at the sight in front of him. Watching Lucy clutch her chest while crying was something he never wanted to see in his life. The fact that he was the cause of it only made it worse.

"You've all been lying to me, haven't you?" Lucy asked, her voice just barely above a whisper. Before Natsu could deny it, she glared at him, her eyes lit with ferocity. "Don't lie to me, Natsu. I need the truth. You don't really live there, do you?"

Natsu looked away, his hands balled into tight fists. He didn't know what to do. It was obvious that lying wasn't going to work, but telling the truth wasn't an option either. Why did he have to be the one put in this situation? Why couldn't it have been Erza or Jellal? Surely they would've known how to handle this.

"Lucy…" he started, gnawing on his lower lip, unsure how to continue.

The girl gently turned his face to look at hers. Her nose and her eyes had been red from crying. "Please, Natsu. No more lies. Do you live there?"

Not wanting to lie to Lucy any longer, the boy shook his head slowly, as words weren't coming to him.

"Have you ever lived there?"

He shook his head again.

"Why did you lie to me about that? Why is it so bad of me to know where you live?"

Natsu's face scrunched in pain, unsure of how to answer. He couldn't let her find out that he was immortal. He would be forced to go back to the basement with the rest of the immortals, unable to see her again. But at this rate, if he kept lying, it seemed like she wasn't going to want to hang out with him anyways. Either way, he was going to lose Lucy.

And if he was going to lose Lucy regardless, then he should do so in a way that didn't endanger the rest of his friends. So, he stayed quiet.

Lucy glared at him, her heart clenched in pain. "You aren't going to tell me?"

Natsu bit his lower lip, tears pricking his eyes. It was embarrassing, but he couldn't help it. Losing Lucy was something he couldn't even bear to think about. She gave his life meaning. Purpose. Excitement. What was he going to do without her? How he had gone on for so long without her in his life before, he would never know.

Lucy swallowed thickly, her throat constricting tightly. Nodding, she said, "Alright. I can't force you to tell me. But I have to look out for myself, and with all the lies that all of you have been saying, I don't think I can trust any of you."

Natsu's nails dug into his palms at that, his heart shattering in that moment. He understood where she was coming from, he really did. But hearing those words broke him. The tears that he had been fighting trickled down his face.

"I… I don't think I can keep being friends with you guys," Lucy said, her lip trembling. This was the first time she'd seen Natsu cry. Even when he was explaining his father's death, he hadn't cried at all. But here he was, shedding tears over losing her. It tore her heart to pieces seeing him cry.

Still, she had to look out for herself.

"Please leave," she said, her gaze glued to the floor as she pointed towards the door. "A-And starting tomorrow, please don't associate with me. It'll only make things harder…"

Natsu gave out a pained sound. "Lucy, please look at me."

"I can't, Natsu…"

"Please!" Reluctantly, she met his gaze. He grabbed her hands and held them tight against his chest. Staring into her eyes and pouring every feeling he had into his gaze, he hoped he could get his feelings across. "I can't tell you about it because it isn't just my secret to share. I… I don't want to lose you, but I can't tell you this either."

"I'm not comfortable with that, Natsu. It's too much. You lied about where you lived! You set up a fake apartment just to convince me! It doesn't make sense!" Lucy cried, trying to tear her hands away but Natsu didn't let go.

"I know," he replied. "I know it's a lot. But what about that night outside your apartment? When you were crying and I was trying to cheer you up, you told me that you couldn't talk about it. Well, the same goes for me! I can't talk about this, Lucy. I wish more than anything that I could, believe me. But I can't. It wouldn't just affect me."

Lucy's resolve faltered. Alright, she did have a secret that she refused to tell him, he got her there. But her secret was different! Hers was a matter of life or death! His…

Well, who's to say that his wasn't too?

Was she just being hypocritical? Sure, she doubted that his secret could mount up to her reincarnation, but it could still be one of life or death. It could still be something so important, that speaking of it at all was out of the question.

"Please don't drop me, Lucy," Natsu said, his voice cracking from crying. "I don't want to live without you. I can't."

Lucy pried her hands away from him and used them to cover her eyes as she sobbed. "I don't want to live without you, either! I'm just trying to look out for myself!"

"I know. But please, you have to trust me on this. I would tell you if I could, I swear."

Lucy glanced at him. "…Is it anything that would endanger me?"

"No! No way!"

"Is it anything illegal? Are you guys in some sort of gang, or something?"

Natsu thought about all of the immortals living in Fairy Tail. In a sense, they were something like a gang. But not the kind that Lucy was referring to.

"No," he answered.

"It's not anything bad?"

Natsu thought about that. Every immortal hated their immortality, so in a way it was bad. But not for Lucy.

"No," he finally answered. "Nothing bad. I swear."

Lucy studied him, looking for any signs of deceit. Natsu seemed sincere, but was that good enough? She still had her doubts and suspicions, dropping him entirely would get rid of them. But the thought of doing that had tears clouding her vision once again.

"Nothing bad?" she asked again, just to be sure.

Natsu peered into her eyes, letting her stare into his soul. "Nothing bad. I swear to you, Lucy. If it was even remotely dangerous for you, I would never have let you get caught up in this. If it were just my secret, I probably woulda ended up telling you a long time ago."

"Why?"

Natsu swallowed thickly, his cheeks turning pink. "Because you're easy to talk to. You're my best friend, and lying to you has been hell for me."

"Really?"

"Duh." Natsu nudged her, mustering up the courage to say what he was thinking. His eyes were soft, along with his voice as he continued, "If you hadn't noticed yet, you're sorta kinda my everything."

Lucy's heart leapt in her chest, fire coursing through her veins. She could feel heat rushing to her face, surely turning it pink. She blinked once, then twice just to make sure that she wasn't imagining the look he was giving her. Sure enough, his onyx orbs were searching hers, imploring and soft.

That wasn't something friends say to each other, right? Were the girls right about Natsu actually liking her back? She was starting to think so, but she wanted to know for sure.

"Y-You mean in a friend way?" she asked, her voice a higher pitch than normal thanks to her nerves.

Natsu chuckled, seeing the embarrassment written all over her face. He had a feeling that she liked him back ever since the night he swore he saw her leaning in for a kiss. Now, it was pretty obvious. How hadn't he noticed it before?

Flashing her a grin and ruffling her hair, he finally replied, "Who knows?"

Lucy jutted her lower lip out in a pout, crossing her arms over her chest. Even now of all times he chose to tease her? "You're such a jerk!"

Natsu laughed, the tense atmosphere from before turning lighter. "Maybe." Now that they had calmed down- well, their hearts were still racing, but in a different way now- he brought up what they were talking about before. "So… Are we okay?"

Lucy's lips curled into a slight frown. She was still a little suspicious, but she didn't want to cut Natsu out of her life. Especially when he was showing signs of reciprocating her feelings.

"Yeah, we're okay," she answered, smiling at him. She hoped she wouldn't come to regret this decision. "Just try not to lie to me from now on, okay? If it's something you can't answer, just tell me instead of lying about it."

Natsu nodded. "Okay." Feeling the heavy weight lifted off his shoulders, he grabbed Lucy's wrist and pulled her in for a tight hug. He wasn't usually the affectionate type, but he figured they both could use a hug that day, and hugging her was all he wanted to do at that moment.

Lucy didn't bother fighting the blush that came to her face. Instead, she accepted her feelings and wrapped her arms around Natsu's neck, enjoying the embrace. Natsu's body was hard against hers, but she still felt at home in his arms. The familiar scent of a campfire, the warmth that radiated off of him, and the scaly scarf that she tugged on had her feeling at peace.

That peace was shortly interrupted once Natsu pulled away from their embrace. His brows were drooped as he stared at her intently.

"What's wrong?" she asked. She would've been embarrassed about their close proximity, but the serious look on Natsu's face had her distracted.

"You can't let the others know about this, okay?" he said, holding her by the shoulders.

"What do you mean?"

"Remember how I said it isn't just my secret to share? Well, they don't want anyone knowing about it at all. If they found out that you know something is up, they won't let us hang out anymore."

Lucy frowned, her suspicions coming back. "They would do that even though I'm friends with them, too?"

Natsu nodded. "Even though it isn't dangerous or anything like that, it's an important secret. If they find out you know, you probably won't see any of us again."

"Now I'm really curious about this. And also a little scared."

"Don't be scared," Natsu assured, placing his forehead against hers.

"I can't even ask Levy-chan?"

"Not even her. She's probably like me. Probably wants to tell you but knows she can't. You shouldn't let any of them know that you know something, but you should be extra careful around Erza and Gajeel. Jellal, too."

"Even Jellal?"

"He's nicer about it, but I know that he's just as wary as Erza and Gajeel. I know it's a lot to ask for, but can you keep pretending you don't know anything around them?"

Lucy nodded. "Alright. As long as you don't lie to me anymore."

"Oh, so they can lie to you but I can't?" Natsu joked.

"Nope!"

"Why's that?"

Lucy smiled at him, repeating his words from earlier. "Because if you hadn't noticed yet, you're sorta kinda my everything."

Natsu's cheeks turned pink in seconds. Ducking behind his scarf, he glared at her. She was teasing him!

Lucy laughed, amused with his reaction. That must've been how she looked when he had told her that.

"Alright, I promise I won't bring it up with them," she said with a smile.

"And I promise I won't lie to you anymore," Natsu replied. "So we're good?"

"Yeah, Natsu. We're good."

Lucy felt content with how things were. Sure, she didn't uncover the truth beneath their lies, but did she really have to? As long as it wasn't something that would get her into trouble, she had no reason to keep pestering him about it. Especially when she had secrets of her own that she refused to share.

So, Lucy chose to push her doubts aside once more, but it was different this time. Natsu wasn't going to lie to her anymore and she felt safe around him still. She didn't need to know everything. She was fine with how things were.

Little did she know at the time that fate had other plans in store.

[inkpotlanterned]

Raptor Man

Story summary: I wanted to write about a man who takes care of raptors to support his hobby of raising wolves. This is that story.

“So… like Jurassic Park?”

Tim palmed his face, a mixture of exaggerated offense and tired exasperation dripping from his shoulders after hearing the same question all of his family members asked him when they’d visited last week.

“No. It’s…” Another hobby? Another thing to keep him busy ‘til he dies? Another- His hands flailed in front of him as if they could pluck the answer from the empty air. Finally, resigned to his friend’s judgement, they ended up hanging limply from his wrist. “It’s just a job. Nothin’ more. It’s not like I allow visitors or something.”

Leilani shifted beside him, boots scraping against the packed dirt that refused to nurture any sort of life besides the tufts of crabgrass that insisted on surviving in this dustbowl of a field.

A faint, nearly imperceptible, frown tugged at the corner of Leilani’s mouth as she took in the barrier before them. It was an ambitious enclosure, particularly in this area. Impossible even. Endangered species or not, Leilani wasn’t sure what ran through the White House’s heads when they deemed this the perfect location to house them.

Beyond the thick glass (was it glass?) grew a dense wall of foliage made up of unrecognizable plants — old plants. The abrupt changed between the dirt and the jungle had Leilani nearly careening her head upwards to check if the sky above had been split in two halves as well. But no rain clouds barreled against an invisible barrier above them. It was the same old sky: clear and blue with only a few fading clouds scattered on the horizon.

Tim watched without comment as Leilani stepped closer and rested her fingertips on the cool glass. Just past the glass grew a crimson flower at the end of a twisting vine, curled as though reaching forward to escape the predators within.

A tail lashed out, slamming against the glass.

“Fuck!”

Leilani tumbled ass backwards into the dirt, hands splaying to catch herself. The creature within snarled, yellow eyes fixating on Leilani. It threw itself against the barrier once more (impenetrable, they’d assured Tim) before darting back into the shadows.

Pasted against the glass were the two halves of the flower. Its torn petals bled onto the glass, another stain to be cleaned during the monthly doctor’s check-in.

Leilani picked herself up without a word — as people are prone to do after falling down — dusted herself off, and sniffed once before casting a disdainful look over her shoulder towards the place where the reptilian nightmare had just stood.

“Should’ve stuck with cows, Tim. Less volatile, I say.”

Tim batted a fly buzzing loudly in his ear away.

“It makes good money,” he replied. “More than cows.”

“Finally have enough to expand that hobby of yours?”

“Yep.” He tried clapping his hands around the fly, but it darted away to his other side.

“Your hobby’s almost as bad.”

Tim shrugged. The fly landed on him. With a sigh, Leilani clapped a hand on his shoulder, the fly slipping between her fingers, and squeezed once in goodbye before turning on her heel to leave.

“Alright, Tim. I’ll see you around.”

Tim grunted once in response before walking in the opposite direction. If the beasts were so antsy, it was probably about feeding time.

—

He named them after Titans. Themis and Phoebe. Hyperion and Gaea. They were beautiful and majestic. A wild origin kept contained. A tribute to his sister who left the family years ago to pursue a degree in Mythologies.

He felt as though he was looking through a window stretching back into time whenever he watched them run free in the compound he’d spent years building.

Annie — soon to be Anna at school and then Annabellizabeth when she outgrew schoolgirl names and then, once more, Annie when she outgrew mature appearances — was Tim’s niece. With wide brown eyes and a placid nature unbefitting of a four-year-old, Annie was reminiscent of his first cow who coincidentally shared the same name (and was sent to the slaughterhouse long before Annie was born.)

She grew more alive on Uncle Tim’s farm, according to her parents. Maybe it was the open air or the bluest of skies. Tim didn’t think to question it, but Leilani suspected it might have something to do with Tim and Annie’s similar dispositions. There was probably a grain of truth in this sentiment because, after all, it wasn’t the rolling brown hills or the bare, grinning Sun that brought Tim and Annie to this dusty done. It was the wolves.

Gaea was Annie’s favorite. At his sister’s insistence, Tim always accompanied Annie to the wolf compound. He watched without comment from afar as Annie approached Gaea with her arm outstretched and fingers splayed. Gaea waited patiently, tail batting at blades of grass behind her. Two times larger than Annie, she sat back like a queen resting on her throne, the jewels of her crown found in the depths of her serene, blue eyes.

They took each other in, separated acquaintances meeting once more. Annabellizabeth waited solemnly and, a breath later, Gaea answered her unspoken greeting by padding forward into Annie’s palm. A wild grin spread across Annie’s face. A light shined through Annie’s brown, gold-flinted eyes as she threw her arms around the wolf and sank into Gaea’s thick pelt, becoming a dark outline on Gaea’s light grey background.

For the entirety of Annie’s visit, there is no talk of monsters.

—

Annie, 6 or 8, lay awake in her room with her blankets pulled to her chin and her hair a fan on the pillow. It was a bare room with empty walls and a plain, oak dresser. Years of visiting Tim had not yielded any knick knacks or mementos deemed important enough to add to a room she never spent any time in. Still, despite the lack of personal decor, Annie truly felt that this was her room. Familiar and comfortable, it was a place to rest after long days under hot suns. It was safety and, with the alarms blaring out throughout the house, Annie got the sense that things were no longer entirely safe.

As the alarms screeched once more, Annie’s grip on the bedcovers beneath her tightened and she forced herself to practice what her mother taught her to do when she felt too upset to speak.

In and out, her mother’s voice said to her.

Breathe in.

…

Breathe out.

…

Annie breathed in the clean air and reassured herself that the house must not be on fire if there wasn’t the taste of char on her tongue.

Breathe i-

The door opened. Annie’s exhale came out like a stuttery, strangled sigh.

“Is everything alright, Uncle Tim?” Annie asked, voice small and baby blue and drowning in the red alarms.

Tim shook his head sharply once, as if clearing his mind of cobwebs, before saying, “Yes, Annie. You need to get out of bed though. I doubt you can sleep with these alarms on so I’ll drive you to Leilani’s before I start fixing them.”

The slightest of creases appeared between Annie’s brows as she frowned in disapproval and slipped out from beneath the blanket. “I told you to call me Anna.”

“Of course,” Tim nodded, already turning to leave. “Go and grab the keys, please. I need to make a phone call.”

While Annie dragged on a pair of beat-up sneakers, Tim unhooked his phone from its hook, ignoring the layer of dust that stuck to his palm. Below the phone, on the countertop, was a blank-paged notepad. Two sets of phone numbers were scrawled beneath barely legible names on the front page. Tim stared down at the numbers, lost in how they seemed to seep together, before once more shaking his head sharply. He dialed the top number with shaking fingers. The ringing alarms seemed to reverberate in his head as he waited.

Somewhere, a phone rang and rang and rang, but nobody picked up.

Tim cursed, waited for the beep, left a message, and then ushered Annie out the front door.

Outside, the chill of the semidesert night eagerly sank its teeth into them. Without the Sun to illuminate the way, the world was reduced to smudges of grey and grey and darker grey.

Tim shut the door: a blank slate instead of its usual faded blue. His keys rattled against the lock and Annie politely averted her gaze from her uncle’s hands. It was safer to convince herself that everything was under control than to acknowledge the haunted look in Tim’s eyes.

At the end of the meandering path leading away from the house, worn down from Tim’s years of walking the same steps, waited the silhouette of Tim’s truck. The alarms behind them screamed inverse siren songs urging them forward. A part of Annie wanted to clap her hands over her eas and answer with desperate screams of her own, but at school, alarms meant a silent evacuation in a single file line. She walked behind her uncle, staring down at the barely visible path and ignoring the outlines of the beckoning trees with witch fingers curled at the end of their branches.

Breathe in.

…

Breathe out.

…

The car sputtered on with a sickly cough. Inside the truck, the alarms were slightly muted by the layer of glass between Annie and the rest of the world. Tim peeled away from the house, foot pressing down on the gas and hands fiddling with the loose steering wheel. In the passenger seat, Annie leaned her head into the glass and breathed out. She watched through the foggy window as the block of the house, dark against the navy sky glittering with stars, grew smaller and smaller.

—

Somewhere, a phone let out a single long beep and then, a moment later, a cough rattled tinny and metallic from the speakers.

“Ah.” Tim’s voice started. “I know you aren’t one for ‘I told you so’s so I’ll say it for you. You told me so.”

A pause as he gathered his bearing. In the background, shrill alarms made it through the speakers.

“Problem is that Annie is here with me. I’m heading over now to drop her off before I take care of things here. Sorry if it causes you any trouble, I’m sure you understand how it is though.”

Leilani did understand how it was. With a sigh and a gentle shake of her head, she reached across the table to delete the message before leaning back into the couch. Her knee bounced up and down insistently as if to channel the lightning bottled in her chest to be dispersed into the ground. It didn’t help much.

“That man better be driving safely no matter what ungodly monsters he’s released,” she muttered. “He has a child in the car.”

A moment later, she stood to start heating up water. Although she’d woken up too late to answer the phone, there was plenty of time to prepare a cup of cocoa for Annie.

—

It was exactly like Jurassic Park.

The gun hung low at Tim’s side, his fingers clenching to it painfully, as he crept closer to the enclosure. Overhead, the alarms continued blaring obnoxiously and Tim itched to hunt down every speaker and tear those apart instead of hunting down the blasted devils that had escaped. Apparently, nobody had bothered to install an off switch for the alarms. (Probably based off the assumption that Tim would be too dead to care if the alarms were going off.)

Motherfuckers.

In the dark, Tim stumbled over the crabgrass roots entrenched in the hard ground before stopping at the sound of crunching beneath his boots. He looked down. Looked up. The darkness ahead of him revealed only vague shapes, but his intuition filled in the blanks easily enough. He didn’t need to see in detail to understand what was in front of him.

Jungle plants that had previously been pressed against the glass were now tumbling out of a gaping maw. The glass beneath Tim’s feet scraped against each other as he whirled around to leave.

“Motherfuckers,” Tim muttered. “Impenetrable, my ass.”

His blood roared in his ears as he sprinted away. They were waiting for him. Waiting for him. There was no time to waste on waiting for those goddamn shady government officials to arrive in time to help him round up the demonspawn. He needed to get there first.

The path he followed was well-worn and smooth. He ran blindly, driven faster and faster by the adrenaline rushing through him and the urgency of the alarms that now voiced his internal thoughts. The darkness parted before him easily, revealing more and more of the cold, empty night before finally — finally — the soft lights of home came into view.

He stuttered to a stop at the fence. The gun became heavy in his hand. His feet, lead. Everything was heavy, heavy, heavy.

Gaea sat on the other side of the fence, framed by the trees Tim hand planted all those years ago. She was beautiful. Regal. Pristine. Her steady gaze met his eyes before falling away. Tim watched — helplessly — as it stalked through the shadows, tail like a whip trailing behind it. There was no need for it to hunt silently though. When its jaws closed around her neck, she did not bow or break. Tim almost imagined that she tilted her head accommodatingly. She accepted death like she accepted everything in life: with the grace of a goddess already gone.

Gaea died without a whimper, too regal to make a sound.