#ya is (in my humble opinion) the best one go start by

[dotster001]

Hello! I really liked your fanfic about mistletoe and I would like to submit my application. Can you write what type of girl the characters in the twisted wonderland like?

What Kind of Girl they Like

Summary: Fem! Reader What girl the twisted wonderland boys say they will fall for, versus who they will be attracted to.

CW: Fem! Reader, some of the boys are assholes with their answers, it's explained away in the who they end up with section, so take it with a grain of salt, also these are just my opinions. If you don't agree that's ok!

A/n:it is truly humbling how few of these I actually fit the description of 😭 also, feel free to send in an ask if you want the staff and non nrc boys, or a masc. Reader version (there are some differences for some of them for a male lover)

Masc Version gn! Version

Heartslaybul 

Ace Trappola

What he says

"I dunno, she'd have a great bod and make me sandwiches. Kidding! Sevens, don't glare at me like that, I was just messing with ya! She's probably smart, and sweet as sugar, and let's me get into trouble. And a great bod wouldn't hurt- hey don't throw stuff at me!"

Who he ends up with

Ace is going to be naturally attracted to a girl he can "bring out the worst in."  She probably starts out shy and quiet, then Ace adopts her into his friend group, and now they are sassing each other back and forth. She calls him out on his bullshit, and fights against his teasing with teasing of her own. But she also takes care of him when he's down. He's hiding a lot of insecurity under his cool guy exterior, so if she lets him snuggle, and lets him whine, and then whispers how much she loves him, he'll be a happy man. Also, side note, he's fine if you like sports, but if you know nothing about basketball, it means he gets to look really good when you come to his games. Just saying….

Deuce Spade

What he says

"Huh, I've never really thought about it. Um, I guess she's nice and funny, and isn't scared of my past. I'd also want her to be a little like you, Y/N….not that I like you! Well, I like you, not like like you, shit I'm sorry! This isn't sounding any better…"

Who he ends up with

He really means it when he says he wants someone like you. You're one of his first friends, and, in his mind, the person you date/marry should be your best friend. But if it's not you he ends up with, he will probably be attracted to a girl who's book smart, but less street smart. A little "dumb" like him, in a cute kind of way. He likes a cuddler, and maybe a girl who is shorter than him so that he can feel like he's swallowing her whole when he wraps his arms around her. Also, someone who encourages him and helps him with his homework/paperwork. 

Riddle Rosehearts

What he says

"I don't have time for a relationship right now….but I think I want someone well behaved who follows the rules- what are you smirking at? Just because you're a rule breaker doesn't mean every girl is. I'd also like her to be in the medical profession. You know, someone who works the same profession as me so we have similar interests."

Who he ends up with

As much as he hates to admit it…he's attracted to rule breakers. Not as bad as Ace obviously, he's not trying to go gray early. But if she says something like "let's have a non herbal tea" when it's time for only herbal tea…damn what a rush. By the time he gets serious with someone, he'll be confident enough in himself to cut ties with his mother, so she has to be strong willed, and willing to live off of a low budget for a while.  He'll need someone understanding, who knows he'll have relapses and be too much and too angry sometimes, and she has to be understanding of that, and encouraging of improvement, or he'll live with guilt for the rest of his life. 

Trey Clover

What he says

"Someone who's willing to settle down and grow fat and old with me. You're laughing, but I'm going to be running my parents bakery, and feeding people is my love language. Speaking of, you better finish off that slice of cake before the others steal it."

Who he ends up with

Trey isn't that picky. He really means it when he says he wants someone to get old and fat with. That's his dream. Running a bakery with his wife by his side, and growing old together as your own kids grow up and bring home their own spouses. But he also wants a girl he can blindside with his sadistic side. Someone who'll enjoy that side of him, but also someone who easily forgets it's there. It makes things more fun for him.

Cater Diamond

What he says

"Ha ha someone trendy and totes hot. Someone totally cammable. Aw, are you jealous? Don't worry, you'll always be my fave girlie, even if you're not the girl I love."

Who he ends up with

Cater wants someone who won't disappear when he looks away. Yes, if she's "cammable" that's the first thing he's looking for, but when all is said and done, if she seems like she's going to be flaky, he won't take it too seriously either, as a defense mechanism. He needs a girl with mental endurance, because he's going to spend the beginning of the relationship trying to scare her off. Not that he wants to, he just needs to know he won't be left alone like he usually is. He is going to be attracted to a girl who humors his trends and magicam addiction, but who also sees through him. Someone balanced.  She sees the real Cay Cay, but she's also willing to be his "trophy wife" online.

Savannaclaw

Jack Howl

What he says

"Oh, I uh, well someone who can keep up on a run with me I guess…"

Who he ends up with

Jack says he wants someone who can work out with him. And he would really be happy if he had a girl who was as active as him…but he'd also be happy with a curvy girl. He gets blushy thinking about holding someone soft and plush against his firm muscles. But he's flexible. In the end he won't choose his future wife based on appearance and activity. Wolf beastmen mate for life, so the main thing he is looking for is loyalty. Loyalty, and someone who would want to raise lots of kids with him. As long as you have those two traits, nothing else really matters to him.

Ruggie Bucchi

What he says

"Girlfriends are expensive, shihihi. Tell you what, you find me a lady with sticky fingers, and we'll eat the rich together."

Who he ends up with

This is a deflection. Ruggie loves the idea of a busy business wife, while he is a trophy househusband, cooking and cleaning for his high powered  lady. He wants a strong woman who will scratch his ears and tell him he did such a good job! Then he'll draw her a bath, and massage her feet as she tells him about her day, then they'll snuggle and make out until they fall asleep…that's the dream anyway. He can be a little worker bee until you rise through the ranks, which you will, Ruggie has absolute faith in you. You guys can rob people early on if you have to. In short…Ruggie wants a dommish woman who will call him a good boy and keep him well fed.

Leona Kingscholar

What he says

"Body pillow"

"That's not-"

"Body pillow"

Who he ends up with

He's going to be attracted to a strong woman who whips his ass into shape. Someone who says, "Hey bitch, you're going to therapy, cause I love you and want you to be happy!" And then she actually makes him go. And when he does go, she rewards him with snuggles, and soft kisses. He wants a woman who's never scared of him, who's self assured, and is certain and vocal about her feelings for him.

Also, she has to accept that nighttime is when she's a body pillow. That's an absolute must.

Octavinelle

Azul Ashengrotto

What he says

"Why do you wish to know? Are you attempting to reach my standards? Ha ha, let's see. A woman who is ethereal, who is willing to dress stunningly, and sit in my lap when I make deals, so that competitors can see what a high value man I am."

Who he ends up with

If that didn't make you want to throw up 🤢. He'll be attracted to someone who makes him feel beautiful in subtle ways. He knows how easy it is to spin a verbal web of lies. But there's some things you can't fake. Like allowing someone to rest on your lap, and caressing their hair. Or squeezing someone's hand gently when you have to let go. Or pressing a kiss to someone's cheek after you help them straighten their outfit. It's the soft romantic moments that'll speak to Azul when he finds his love. Aside from that, he's not looking for anything in particular. Just someone who makes him feel loved and beautiful.

Jade Leech

What he says

"Fu fu who's to say? Perhaps you are the woman of my dreams. Or not."

Who he ends up with

She's a woman who can see through him. She's someone who never compares him or confuses him for his twin. She's smart. Very smart. She eats his mushrooms and goes on hikes with him. She is patient with Floyd. What Jade is looking for….is female Jade. Someone like that is the only one who can truly keep up with him.

Floyd Leech

What he says

"Aw Shrimpy! Are you worried? Don't worry, whoever she is, I'll still squeeze ya!"

Who he ends up with

He's looking for someone fun. That's his only criteria. At least that's what he says. He can't be sure if he loves her because she's fun, or if she's fun because he loves her. In that sense, it's sort of a soulmate situation for Floyd. Whatever will be will be. He'll just know. 

…

…

…

Also she has to be squeezable. 

Scarabia

Kalim al Asim

What he says

"I love everybody!"

"But-"

"Have some of this ice cream, it's amazing!"

Who he ends up with

He wants someone he can spoil, but he doesn't know that. It's something in his subconscious. He doesn't want things in exchange either. So she has to be someone who is okay with being spoiled, and doesn't feel guilty about it. He's going to be attracted to someone who loves life like him, but also helps to keep him grounded. And if she has a spark of danger in her, oh man, he'll be simping so hard. 

Jamil Viper

What he says

"I'm not going to even think about it until my freedom is assured. Kalim has promised, but it would be irresponsible to force someone into servitude with me."

Who he ends up with

Jamil is going to be attracted to a hard worker. Someone who's dedicated, and slightly serious. He's also looking for a girl who will see how hard he works, and pampers him from time to time. He's never been in charge of anything, so he likes being the boss of the household. Not that he doesn't see her as an equal! On the contrary, he wants his marriage to be a partnership. But the idea of having somewhere where he is king is definitely something he likes. She can rule the house from as well. They can split the time they rule over the household. They'll take turns being served and pampered.

Pomefiore

Epel Felmier

What he says

"Um, she knows I'm the boss. Wait, that came out misogynistic, sorry I jus mean she knows I'm manly and can support her an all that."

Who he ends up with

He says he wants a cutsie tiny housewife, so that he can be the manly man at the manliest job for mans. He really will be attracted to any girl who doesn't doubt his masculinity, nor call him cute. Someone who tells him that they feel safe and secure with him. He says he wants a short wife. But he's fine with any size or shape as long as she sees him as someone who can care for her. 

Rook Hunt

What he says

"Mademoiselle trickster, I can find beauty in every woman."

Who he ends up with

What he says is actually true. He can and will fall in love with every kind of woman. It's hard to say who he will tie himself to, in the end. It'll be someone who he heavily bonds with and imprints on. It's a lot like with Floyd. Essentially a soulmate situation.

Vil Schoenheit

What he says

"Hm. Why do you want to know, potato? I suppose she's professional, and beautiful, and cares about her image enough that she doesn't cause a scandal."

Who he ends up with

The thing about Vil is, he's not that far off from Rook in his take on beauty. He doesn't so much believe in conventional beauty, or societal beauty standards. He knows everyone has an individual definition of health and beauty. When he says he's looking for a beautiful woman, he's looking for someone who's willing to reach her full potential. Or, more accurately, to allow him to help her reach her full potential. Vil never admits it, but he adores pampering and styling people. His love language is helping people look their best. So if she's someone who knows herself enough to know what style she likes, he'll appreciate it, and take up the mantle of doing the hard work, ie making outfits, styling hair and makeup, formulating skin care etc. TLDR, he wants a confident self possessed woman he can dress like a doll, and show off.

Ignihyde

Idia Shroud

What he says

"-------------" mutes ipad.

In his head, he doesn't think any woman would ever love him. But his dream woman is a sexy anime cat girl.

Who he ends up with

What he'll be attracted to is someone who is patient, speaks at a reasonable volume, and is assertive enough to make him leave his room. Essentially, winning Idia's heart is a siege. You'll have to starve him out. That's the patience bit. The reasonable volume comes from him being easily scared by loud noises. Assertive enough to make him leave his room…well that speaks for itself. He wants to believe he can be part of the outside world, and the girl he will fall for will be willing to show it to him.

Diasomnia

Sebek Zigvolt

What he says

"She is someone of noble bearing, who shall help me defend my liege!"

Who he ends up with

He'll fall for a woman who is stronger, mentally, physically, etc., than him. A woman who can put him in his place. A woman who speaks, and it makes him shut up, and sit pretty. She's assertive, and can come off as abrasive to others but to Sebek? Sevens, he'd die for a smidgen of her affection.

Silver

What he says

"I don't think it's worth it to try and define the girl I'll fall in love with. There are so many wonderful women, and my father always told me that love is the greatest mystery in this world. Who's to say who I'll fall in love with?"

Who he ends up with

Silver will fall for someone soft. The entire romance will be soft. Soft caresses in the moonlight. Soft kisses in the morning. Soft fingers gently intertwining.  She'll be empathetic about his sleep condition, never blaming him since it's not his fault. She'll be gentle with his animal friends. She'll be sweet and kind and the very image of a Disney Princess. I'm picturing Aurora, actually. How ironic.

Lilia Vanrouge

What he says

"Fu Fu Fu wouldn't you like to know."

Who he ends up with

Lilia can and has fallen for every kind of woman. He's lived a long time. He's had the time to romance lots of women.  What he'd probably fall for in this stage of his life, is someone he can tease, and play around with, but who is also ready to settle down a little bit. Someone who enjoys the little things in life. He's getting a little old. He wants to build onto his family that he already has. Silver can stand to have three or ten more siblings, right?

Malleus Draconia

What he says

"You."

Who he ends up with

You.

....

Tag list-@shytastemakerthing @stygianoir @leonia0 @lleoll @eccedentesiast-sapphic

[lemedstudent2021]

Where should Jews live? Where do they belong? Where do you consider their native land to be? Honest question.

an honest question deserves an honest answer so here ya go:

Anywhere and everywhere. Jews- the followers of the Abrahamic religion Judaism- along with Muslims, Christians, Atheists, Sikhs, Vegans, and literally any human being under the sun have the right to live wherever they please (given certain criteria are met like visas and that it isnt a military station/ off limits area etc).

Yes my dear reader(s) you read that right; ones faith or lack thereof shouldnt be an obstacle in any aspect of ones life, be it medical services, education, job opportunities, so on and so forth. How novel.

That answers where they 'should' live (although I dont by any means impose anything on anyone; y'all do whatever as long as its legal and harms no one including yourself. God bless). Could is more accurate.

As for where they 'belong', this in my opinion is one of the beauties of religion: people from all walks of life can belong to a religion. Diversity lies at the heart of our existence as human beings and denying it is like denying the existence of the sun. Tolerance is a must if we are ever going to get along with each other. And this belonging isn't irrevocabley tied to geography. But I digress :)

Quick aside just so we're all on the same page: converting to a religion renders you just as valid and equal as someone born into a religion. Most if not all religions preach equality between their followers regardless of background, so i wont hear anything of 'oh theyre not real xyz' or 'they dont count' or any of that bs.

By this logic (religious demographics are, generally speaking, very diverse), there is no 'this set of people belong here, and those over there' ...and proof of that in a sense would be atheists/ agnostics; where would they 'belong'? Antarctica? Outer space? alright ill stop XD

If that were the case, most of the planet would be crammed in the Middle East lol [Syria, Jordan, and Lebanon alone are home to 34M (as of 2023), and the followers of the 3 main Abrahamic religions are an estimated 3.4B (as of 2020) globally. We wouldnt fit even if we used one of these]. Yeah nationality/ race/ ethnicity/ background influence and maybe even dictate one's religious identity, but it isn't the all or nothing we may think it to be.

Which brings us nicely to the next point, and here if you'll allow me i'd like to correct it to native land of Judaism (where it originated/ flourished/ spread whatever) as opposed to native land of Jews because as i mentioned above, a religion doesnt (or shouldnt) differentiate nor discriminate between its followers. By restricting them to one geographical location (and for some using it as an indicator of their authenticity) we do them great disservice as well as contradict the teachings themselves. A demonstration:

Im Jordanian right, (dad's maternal side are from bilad al sham; Syria) and im a born Muslim alhamdulillah. My dads Malaysian roommates from his uni days are also born Muslims (and have the best food lol, my all time favourite is lemak cili padi) and seperating us on the basis of them not being Arab or Middle Eastern is unislamic, intolerant, xenophobic, and wrong on every level. Alternatively, im just as Muslim as someone from Mecca or Medina. We're all Muslim. we are the world...

Circling back, Judaism the religion is native to the Holy land (I guess you can say it started in Egypt till it moved there but idk. Regardless), and Jews (adherants of the faith) can't in my humble opinion be fairly categorised as one monolithic unit... just like any and every other faith out there.

Another quick aside; this is merely a tumblr post that cant do the history and culture and intricacies and so much more of this matter a portion of the justice it deserves. I am but a tired medical student answering to the best of my abilities a question I was asked with my limited knowledge in theology and perspective in general, so do me a favour and keep that in mind. And to anyone reading this if you have questions or corrections or resources or anything you want to mention be my guest :)

If you're still here, I'm both grateful and amused. Here's what you probably came for, the piece de resistance if you will: 🍉israel🍉

Disclaimer: thanks for reading this far, but if you disagree in any way shape or form with any of the 30 human rights articles, you may as well stop reading and put your device through the shredder. Bigots, racists, fascists, anti vaxxers etc. dni

So far ive seen this idea, call it what you will, two times (which isnt a lot but its weird that it happened to me twice consecutively), that claims the freedom of Palestine equals a genocide of the Jews.

Er, no? No ma'am. One does not solve a genocide by comitting another genocide. What part of 'never again' are we missing here?

Before we get into politcal nominations and factions and other territories i dont plan on invading (pun intended) but might accidentally cross anyway (I forgot where i was going with this) i want to remind everyone that Judaism is not synonymous with Israel nor zionism (if u disagree with this go ahead and shred ur device too).

A refresher: Judaism is a religion, Israel is an illegal-occupying-apartheid-state, and Zionism is a movement/ ideology

So 'genocide of the Jews' is both wrong (diction) and more wrong (factually incorrect) in that the liberation of Palestine means freedom from oppression, discrimination, settler colonialism... the whole nine yards. Enough bloodshed already its been nearly 76 years.

When Netenyahu is eventually drop kicked out of office (and hopefully hung, drawn, and quartered for his plentiful warcrimes) what happens to the (illegal) citizens of Israel? Well first off, return the stolen homes and land to their rightful owners who have the keys (and documents if they werent tampered with or erased) to prove it.

As for the illegal-under-international-law settlements and new also illegal establishments; I have no idea what international laws will decree (not that I have that much faith in the judiciary system), but I assume they will be seized and evicted of the illegal tenants (how you like me now?) and given to those who have been displaced or homes ruined etc. because its theirs and theirs alone and it was unlawfully and cruelly taken away from them and not because the (remaining lol) former Israeli citizens can't or shouldn't live in palestine. they can go live somewhere where its legal. the priority is Palestinians tho.

What about the indigenous everyone else? As long as their houses aren't stolen or illegal they can should stay because its legal and its theirs and thats that. you cannot kick someone out of their home to give it to another (which was the basis of the creation of Israel.) because its ✨i l l e g a l✨

And the people who dont belong so to speak? I think this one's case by case; like I said at the very, very beginning; people have the right to live wherever as long as its legal and ok to do so regardless of faith or background, and no one should be denied their right to live in Palestine as a country like any other, but they certainly must be denied living in homes stolen and given to them because thats, say it with me now, illegal <3

[richincolor]

Celebrating Women of Horror

To celebrate Women's History Month I thought I'd highlight some authors who specialize in creeping us out, scaring us, and writing amazing thrillers that have us biting our fingernails as we quickly turn page after page to find out "who done it". Let's raise a glass to the YA Authors of Horror!

First off, in my humble opinion, is the queen Tiffany D. Jackson. She is known for plot twists that absolutely break our hearts while giving us all sorts of literary thrills. I always say I'm going to take my time with one of her books, but we all know that's a lie. I'm way to into the story to put the book down and usually end up reading well past my bedtime. Her latest, The Weight of Blood is an excellent homage to Stephen King's Carrie in the only way a Jackson novel can.

The Weight of Blood by Tiffany D. Jackson

When Springville residents—at least the ones still alive—are questioned about what happened on prom night, they all have the same explanation... Maddy did it. An outcast at her small-town Georgia high school, Madison Washington has always been a teasing target for bullies. And she's dealt with it because she has more pressing problems to manage. Until the morning a surprise rainstorm reveals her most closely kept secret: Maddy is biracial. She has been passing for white her entire life at the behest of her fanatical white father, Thomas Washington. After a viral bullying video pulls back the curtain on Springville High's racist roots, student leaders come up with a plan to change their image: host the school's first integrated prom as a show of unity. The popular white class president convinces her Black superstar quarterback boyfriend to ask Maddy to be his date, leaving Maddy wondering if it's possible to have a normal life. But some of her classmates aren't done with her just yet. And what they don't know is that Maddy still has another secret... one that will cost them all their lives.

Next is Within These Wicked Walls by Lauren Blackwood which I absolutely loved. Who would have thought turning a romance novel into a YA horror novel would work so well? Blackwood's novel is creepy and gothic and full of steamy romantic moments that make it a wonderful thriller that you can't put down.  

Within These Wicked Walls" by Lauren Blackwood

What the heart desires, the house destroys...

Andromeda is a debtera—an exorcist hired to cleanse households of the Evil Eye. When a handsome young heir named Magnus Rochester reaches out to hire her, Andromeda quickly realizes this is a job like no other, with horrifying manifestations at every turn, and that Magnus is hiding far more than she has been trained for. Death is the most likely outcome if she stays, but leaving Magnus to live out his curse alone isn’t an option. Evil may roam the castle’s halls, but so does a burning desire.

The next few books are on my TBR list and I can't wait to be scared by these awesome authors.  

Burn Down, Rise Up by Vincent Tirado

Mysterious disappearances. An urban legend rumored to be responsible. And one group of teens determined to save their city at any cost. For over a year, the Bronx has been plagued by sudden disappearances that no one can explain. Sixteen-year-old Raquel does her best to ignore it. After all, the police only look for the white kids. But when her crush Charlize's cousin goes missing, Raquel starts to pay attention—especially when her own mom comes down with a mysterious illness that seems linked to the disappearances. Raquel and Charlize team up to investigate, but they soon discover that everything is tied to a terrifying urban legend called the Echo Game. The game is rumored to trap people in a sinister world underneath the city, and the rules are based on a particularly dark chapter in New York's past. And if the friends want to save their home and everyone they love, they will have to play the game and destroy the evil at its heart—or die trying.

She Is a Haunting by Trang Thanh Tran

A house with a terrifying appetite haunts a broken family in this atmospheric horror, perfect for fans of Mexican Gothic. When Jade Nguyen arrives in Vietnam for a visit with her estranged father, she has one goal: survive five weeks pretending to be a happy family in the French colonial house Ba is restoring. She’s always lied to fit in, so if she’s straight enough, Vietnamese enough, American enough, she can get out with the college money he promised. But the house has other plans. Night after night, Jade wakes up paralyzed. The walls exude a thrumming sound, while bugs leave their legs and feelers in places they don’t belong. She finds curious traces of her ancestors in the gardens they once tended. And at night Jade can’t ignore the ghost of the beautiful bride who leaves her cryptic warnings: Don’t eat. Neither Ba nor her sweet sister Lily believe that there is anything strange happening. With help from a delinquent girl, Jade will prove this house—the home her family has always wanted—will not rest until it destroys them. Maybe, this time, she can keep her family together. As she roots out the house’s rot, she must also face the truth of who she is and who she must become to save them all.

Read Audrey's Review

Man Made Monsters by Andrea L. Rogers

Tsalagi should never have to live on human blood, but sometimes things just happen to sixteen-year-old girls.

Making her YA debut, Cherokee writer Andrea L. Rogers takes her place as one of the most striking voices of the horror renaissance that has swept the last decade.

Horror fans will get their thrills in this collection – from werewolves to vampires to zombies – all the time-worn horror baddies are there. But so are predators of a distinctly American variety – the horrors of empire, of intimate partner violence, of dispossession. And so too the monsters of Rogers’ imagination, that draw upon long-told Cherokee stories – of Deer Woman, fantastical sea creatures, and more.

Following one extended Cherokee family across the centuries, from the tribe’s homelands in Georgia in the 1830s to World War I, the Vietnam War, our own present, and well into the future, each story delivers a slice of a particular time period that will leave readers longing for more.

Man Made Monsters is a masterful, heartfelt, haunting collection ripe for crossover appeal – just don’t blame us if you start hearing things that go bump in the night.

[edward-lygma-ballz]

The Batman Movie teir list

*to preface these are the movies I've seen which is most of the live action ones and a couple of the animated ones. This list will be in chronological order to the best of my abilities please don't blow a gasket if I fuck something up I'm doing this for shits and giggles*

Alright here we go

1943- Batman: Started it but never got to finish it so need to do that. From what I can remember I liked it, the summary honestly sounds like a blast I'm going to give it B tier for now since I barely remember the little bit of it I have seen.

1966- Batman The Movie: I'm just going to flat out say it, I'm a sucker for the 60s batman and little me had a huge crush on Robin in the series. The movie is ridiculous at times but thats what great about it. Honestly nothing negative to say about the movie it's self. In my humble opinion catwoman in this movie feels like Zoë Kravitz's girl boss catwoman just placed in the 60s and I will stand by this, overall the plot of The Joker, The Riddler, The Penguin, and Catwoman all teaming up was carried out very well and I loved it. It worked in such a stupid way. I'm giving this movie A tier for the bat shark repellent, my old crush on Robin, and the ridiculous dialog.

1989- Batman: OH BOY OH BOY OH BOY I FUCKING LOVE THIS MOVIE TO THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART. This was the first Batman Movie I was ever exposed to at the very mature age of 4. This movie gave me my love of Prince, Michael Keton, Jack Nicholson, and the joker. It was like a gateway drug that got me into the rest of Batman, comics and everything. I owe most of my personality to this movie and Batman Forever if I'm being honest. And if I'm going to get real with yall, Jack Nicholson's joker is to date the best live action joker, no diss to Heath Ledger's because by God do I fucking love his joker but Jack's is just better. Viki Vale is honestly the only female love interest I've been able to stand besides Zoe Kravitz's catwomen (but she's catwoman so it's different). Maybe it's cause she doesn't play the damsel in distrest way up the way Dr. Meridian does idk but Viki Vale is cool. Plot is great little me loved watching Jack Napier fall into the vat of acid after getting shot in the face. Love the museum scene literally the best scene in the movie, parade scene and dancing on the church rooftop are for sure head to head for second place. So many iconic lines like "You wanna get nuts?! COME ON LETS GET NUTS!!"(later referenced to in the Lego Batman Movie) "We're like beauty and the beast, of course if anyone else calls you beast... I'll rip thier lungs out" and, "And where is.. the batman?? Huh? HES AT HOME!! WASHING HIS TIGHTS!!" this movie is S tier.

1991- Batman Returns: AND SO DOES MICHAEL KETON! Secon Batman Movie ever exposed to so this one holds a special place in my heart as well. Batman and Batman returns were like the only two Batman movies I watched from ages 4-6. Love Danny Devto as the Penguin, LOVE LOVE LOVE Michelle Pfeiffer as catwoman but I heard somewhere they had to like shrink wrap her into the costume which sounds like absolutely horrible. I call this movie a Christmas movie around my family as an excuse to not watch Elf for the 500th time around the holidays so that's a plus. Nothing much else to say, A tier.

1995- Batman Forever: OH BOY OH BOY OH BOY I FUCKING LOVE THIS MOVIE TO THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART Pt2. Love Jim Carrey's riddler idfc what you guys say he is a gay icon who also has many iconic lines like "Joygasam!!" "Ya like the new sweater?? It keeps me safe.. when im... JOGGING at night." And "You were supposed to understand🥺.... I'll make you understand😡". But I HAted Val Kilmer as batman, he gives me the ick, never heard of him out side of this movie and he seems like a decent actor but he just couldn't do this. I will agree with yall on the fact that the writing is absolutely horrid but like with 66 batman is works sometimes but Val just doesn't make it work. Coming back to Chase Meridian, do not like her character, pointless besides love interest, points out the very obvious about two face and his coin. Not cool. For more info on two face in Batman Forever and a little glimpse at my feeling for Harvy Two-face in the dark night reffer to this meme.

He is an alpha male bicon that's all, overall, A tier movie.

1997- Batman and Robin: 😐 D tier. Make it less sexual, idc if poison ivy's thing is manipulating people with love/plants other adaptations can do it I'm begging for it to be the norm. Batnips aren't cool, robin ain't it in this movie or batman forever. I also forget that bane is in this movie cause he ain't it either

PART 2 HERE

[thebookbin]

The Sunbearer Trials

Aiden Thomas

Publisher: Feiwel & Friends, Macmillan Genre: young adult, fantasy Year: 2022

Me, every time I read a YA book:

I don’t know why I keep convincing myself to give them a try when I have clearly outgrown the genre. It’s probably the pretty covers and interesting blurbs, but yanno. I apparently can't trust myself. I'm an untrustworthy bitch.

Now, being the extremely gay fantasy-lover I am, when I saw the premise of the book I was immediately like yes. This is exactly what I want from a fantasy, a nonwhite setting with fantastical mythology and everybody's just so gay. But it just... disappointed me on all aspects.

I didn't used to be a prose snob, but now apparently I guess I am. I have just read some works that are so well-written that the more juvenile style of YA becomes grating. There were so many "he explained" and "she retorted"s. In my humble opinion, dialogue tags should only be used when there needs to be clarity over who is speaking. Also, what's wrong with plain ol' "said?" IDK it just takes me out of the story. Instead of focusing on what the characters are saying, I am so focused on these weird descriptors that are all over the place.

There are so many expressions that just come from an undeveloped writing style. "Terror gripped his spine" and "The curve of his muscles" were two phrases that I caught multiple times each, and they were so weird. There is an absurd amount of detail paid to clothes and appearance. It very much gives "secret-novel-I-wrote-in-high-school-that-was-lowkey-anime-fanfic."

First is the introduction to Teo. He is described as a troublemaker, but he rarely causes mischief and when he does, it's caricaturistic. His first introduction, he plays a "prank" on the described "bully." But because we don't get to see Ocelo actually be a bully, Teo becomes the bully in my eyes, humiliating them in front of a room full of gods. But literally as soon as anybody says anything to Teo, he gets so offended and cries. Characters constantly feel like caricatures: Niya is the literal stereotypical Nickelodeon Best Friend, like I'm pretty sure her character is just Sam Puckett. Loud, stupid, strong, and loves food. Aurelio, the strong and stoic type. His sister, the stereotypical high school bully, who is even described with a high pony tail!

There's also this weird hierarchy between types of gods. There are Gold gods and Jade gods. Gold gods are supposed to be "superior." But literally the only person who ever talks about this is Teo himself. It gets to the point where we as the audience start to wonder if it's all in Teo's head. Like yeah, Jades have never been in the Trials before, which means he's never had to worry about joining a life-or-death competition. And then Teo complains about not being allowed to go to the "Academy" (cue eye-roll), which is described as a place of abuse, anyway. Nobody literally says anything about Jades being less than Golds except Teo.

The comparison to Percy Jackson and The Hunger Games is so laughable. Both of those series have a main theme of systems of power being corrupt and harmful to society. But in The Sunbearer Trials the system itself is part of a religious order that is deeply rooted in latine cultures. I mean personally, any religion that requires child sacrifice isn't one worth following, but hey that's just me. But this culture isn't acknowledged as bad or flawed, even by the main character, the so called trouble-maker, the one who can see the flaws in the world, doesn't even have a doubt about the way this world is. It's like if Katniss was from the Capitol or Percy if he was more like Luke.

Just the idea of the entire world relying on teenagers à la Hunger Games but not for entertainment or a grotesque commentary on society but to literally keep the apocalypse from happening is probably the stupidest system for keeping the world from ending ever thought of.

There's just so much to say about this, because I wanted to like it. But the clumsy attempts at prose end up seeming like more of a rough draft for a novel than a complete novel in and of itself. I think I would consider reading another Aiden Thomas novel if it wasn't YA, and had gone through the higher publishing standards of the fantasy genre.

storygraph | bookshop.org | local houston

★★½ great idea but terrible execution stars

[officialvoiceofgenerationx]

Nirvana And Me

In '90 or so, somebody gave me a mix tape. I immediately lost the J-card with all the bands' names on it. These things happened. Most of it was fairly mediocre late '80s bar bands with distortion pedals, but there was one section that fucking ripped - a half-dozen songs, obviously by the same band. I blasted that part over and over.

In '91, people started talking about some band called Nirvana. Some co-workers were sure that I would love them. By that point, I hadn't been interested in anything that was one the radio for five years or so, and the idea that I would want to hear a band that was on the charts was absurd. I wanted nothing to do with the latest corporate-radio whores.

One day, I was riding with somebody and a song came on the radio that caught me by surprise. I asked the driver what it was and they told me it was Weird Al's parody of Nirvana's hit single. Man, did I have to take a step back and eat a bit of crow. If Weird Al's version was that good, the original had to be fuckin' rad. Next thing ya know, I was a Nirvana fan.

I discovered a lot of bands in the '80s when they started getting a lot of attention - there was no internet and I lived in a tiny town in the rural south. You just couldn't find out about bands until they showed up in Spin magazine or the college kid who you convinced to buy beer for you told you about 'em. So, the first albums I heard by bands were frequently their first big ones. I would then go buy their back catalog and I pretty much always liked the early stuff better - Husker Du, the Replacements, Soul Asylum, Sonic Youth, R.E.M. All those and more that I can't remember off the top of my head taught me that the worst thing that could happen to a band was that they get huge and sign to a major label. Usually, a band's major label debut was still good - and some bands were able to put off sucking a little longer - but it was inevitable that making it big meant turning to shit.

So, I went out and got Nirvana's first album and discovered that I'd been listening to them for a year or so. The songs I loved on that mix tape were one side of Bleach. Kinda funny.

Nevermind was a great album, and some of the B-sides and out-takes that were on Incesticide were good. I expected In Utero to be a disapointing release by a formerly great band and that's what it was - in my humble fuckin' opinion. By that point though, I didn't care - the whole grunge explosion had thrown a lot of bands into the public eye and there were a lot who I liked better than Nirvana. Babes In Toyland, 7 Year Bitch, Team Dresch, Bikini Kill - bands of women, some more horribly noisey than others, but all of them much more interesting to me than some whiny white boys. I didn't care about Pearl Jam, Soundgarden or any of those dudes.

I heard Hole before I heard Nirvana. A friend of mine had their first couple singles - "Dicknail" and "Retard Girl". Those were smashing. I got Pretty On The Inside and I liked it, but Courtney Love was such a blatantly shitty person that I couldn't get too into them.

Anyway, Cobain killed himself, which should've surprised absolutely no one - the guy telegraphed it all over the fuckin' globe. It was a bummer, but I had moved on from Nirvana by then. I'm writing about them here because they were among the biggest cultural touchstones of Gen X - for what I'm doing, I gotta mention them. And they expressed the nihilism, depression and utter hopelessness that was Gen X.

Today, I'd enjoy "Teen Spirit" if it came out of a speaker, but I will never go out of my way to hear it. There were bands I liked better in the '90s, and a lotta great bands have blown the doors off with distorted guitars and bad attitudes since. The ones I like best have tits out front. Check out the Petrol Girls - bitches rock.

[cardboardclownery]

[ SWAGGER COLLAGE TUTORIAL OR SMTH ]

Woaaaaaaah we got a special one today folks-

My dear buddy chum pal broski bestie asked me to teach it how i do my collage-y lookin art, and i figured i might as well make it available to anyone else who wants to know B]

Quick disclaimer: im not the best at explaining stuff, and also am not a professional or anything!! Listen to me or dont, these are all merely what i do when i make this kind of stuff-

Oh, and ill post the full spread im making here separately for anyone whos interested in that rather than this guide thingy :P

Since i usually like making more cohesive spreads with a certain theme or subject, i like doodling potential drawings i could use in the spread before starting!! This is very much optional, but helps a bit in case youre worried about having no ideas when you go straight into drawing. You can even plan out where youre gonna put different drawings on the page if ya want!! :]

After that, i rummage through my Trash Box for trash that matches my vision for the spread,, if ya catch my drift B]

For this one, since im making matching spreads for disposable girl and irreverent girl (weevildoing swag yknow yknow), i picked out some hot topic tags and stuff, a few tags from clothes that looked fitting, and a pretty bit of a pokemon tcg deck box i saved!! I mostly just went off of vibes and colors this time, but you can go off of whatever feels right when youre picking collage stuff -v-

Oh, and if you plan on trying out a lot of collage stuff, COLLECT SO MUCH TRASH. Find a bag, a box, anything to hold some fun looking wrappers and junk you could use. Be sure to clean anything used to hold food though, ants dont make good collage bits,, usually,,,

Now, the natural next step: gluing that junk on!! Generally its good to have some sort of pattern for how you glue your base collage bits down, like sticking to certain parts of the paper, or making a shape, using a color sequence,, though just slapping stuff on until it works for you also goes pretty well in the end if youre into spontaneity! Just trust the process and go with the flow and all that-

Oh yeah, and collage includes more than junk yknow!! You can use different kinds of paper, stationary like sticky notes and stuff, anything to add some variety in texture BP

Now for the fun bit!! Well, i find all the steps pretty fun, but the drawing part is probably the most fun for you lovely readers ;]

Not much to say here, just do whatever youd do with a typical drawing/page! I recommend trying to fill most/all of the spaces you left blank (if any) when gluing stuff down. Working around all the collage may serve as a challenge, but its not tooooo annoying once youve gotten a feel for it. You can also add some more collage here if you want -v-

Finally, the second best part (in my humble opinion): the stickers!! I usually do this last, but the order probably doesnt matter? Just kinda,, put stickers on wherever!! Try layering them, or covering doodles with them, or making new pictures with them, go CRAZY WITH STICKERS!! You can also use some paint pens or gel pens to add a little pizazz,,

Once youve bedazzled to your heart’s content, you can add any other details and finishing touches you deem necessary, and v o i l a, youve got a collage!!

Dont worry too much about things looking “right”! Ive found that art is a ton more fun when im not stressing out over how clean my work looks, its all about having fun and expressing yourself!! If something looks a bit wonky, or you think you glued something in a weird spot but cant change it, keep rollin with it! With collage in this style, mistakes are kinda part of the experience, so dont worry yourself too much if things dont go as planned

Hope this was atleast somewhat handy!! Lemme know if you want another tutorial like this or something idk-

[laurakinney]

might fuck around and reread young avengers

[sinfulcries]

hi sir! i really enjoy your works so could i request atsumu's senpai catching him jacking off while moaning reader's name in the locker room and reader takes his virginity on the spot?

maneater — atsumu x male reader

author's notes. UHM I AM SO SORRY THIS IS REALLY LONG I GOT REALLY INTO IT HAHAHA. this was also beta read by my lodicakes @bunbyy <3 thank you so much NJKNDKJA

tw. senpai kink, public sex, exhibitionism, mating press, caught masturbation, university au, virginity loss, peer pressure, belly bulge, size difference, unprotected sex, barebacking, facefucking, facial, sleazy senpai reader

Miya Atsumu, by all means, was never interested in dating or the concept of love and crushes and infatuation. All of those seemed vaguely unfamiliar to the boy who only had volleyball on his victory-hungry mind. When it came to a certain male on his team however, he would instantly lose his composure. His knees would feel like jelly whenever their fingers would brush against each others accidentally and his face would heat up like wildfire when the flirty, tall senior would attempt to flirt with him.

A crush, Miya supposed. These feelings would go away sooner or later but Osamu and his teammates who clearly caught onto Atsumu’s strange behavior, begged to differ.

More often than intended, you two would have the thickest and most uncomfortable sexual tension. And one of those instances was right now.

After one of your practice matches, you had peeled your shirt off to reveal your seemingly perfect body. Atsumu revelled in the way your skin glistened under the sheer layer of sweat coating your big arms and your toned abdomen, or the way the fabric of your shorts hung low and exposed more than what meets the eye, leaving Atsumu to imagine the rest of what laid beneath. The blonde made sure to take his sweet time memorizing every crevice of your toned stomach, failing to notice the teasing smirk plastered on your face.

Interrupting the male’s not so discreet sightseeing, you chuckled. “Enjoying the view, Tsumu?” You teased, making the said male blush embarrassedly. “N-No! Shut yer trap, Senpai!” He sneered only to receive a grin from you in reply. “You know, You’re really cute when you’re flustered, dollface.”

God, the things you did to him were dangerous and the cute pet name went straight to his cock, making it noticeably twitch against his thigh. The shorter man merely ignored your statement with a blush on his face, giving you an embarrassed wave before walking towards the locker room, “I'm gonna take a shower.”

By showering, Atsumu meant releasing his sexual frustration by jacking off to the thought of you fucking him. The wing spiker shut his eyes in pleasure as he flicked his wrist around his length shamelessly, lips parted ever so slightly as he moaned your name.

The thought of you manhandling him, having him pressed up against your chest as you fucked him raw made Atsumu shut his eyes tightly. His pace only increased as he fisted his cock much faster, imagining that it was your bigger hand instead. This was definitely more than a crush-- Miya just came to the thought of his teammate for fuck’s sake! Thank God you weren’t there to witness the sinful and humiliating act that he had just committed.

By the time he came, shooting thick ribbons of white cum onto the tile walls, he rinsed the rest of his body clean before reaching out of the stall to grab his towel. Before he could even grasp the cloth, another person snatched it before he could, making him groan frustratedly.

“‘Samu, I swear if this is you, I’ll cut yer ba—”

When Atsumu opened the shower curtain however, the culprit was not his twin brother but instead, you stood in front of him with an amused look on your face. Your teasing expression only making the shorter man gulp nervously.

Avoiding your coy gaze, you taunted, “You’re a bad boy, Atsumu.” while moving to pin the blonde against the tile walls. Atsumu let out a soft squeak, feeling your calloused fingertips rubbing teasingly against the rim of his ass.

“Touching yourself to the thought of me.” You growled, leaning in to lap at the expanse of his neck, your teeth slowly dragging against his skin leaving bite marks on the clean flesh.

The blonde let out a breathy moan, as he tried to explain himself, however his mind was clouded with nothing but lust and disbelief. “I’ll give you the real thing instead. How does that sound?” You whispered, making the blonde shake his head. “I-I don’t want to..”

As much as he desperately wanted to feel your cock messing up his insides, he was embarrassingly enough, a virgin. And to have his virginity taken in some dirty locker room had him thinking more rationally, holding himself back from succumbing into his desires.

“Why not? Are you a virgin?” You teased, making Atsumu pipe up with humiliation. “Am not!” He protested.

Not believing the blonde, your hand inched towards his ass, prodding at his entrance with one finger. The male immediately jolted forward into your chest, squeaking as you pushed the digit in. “F-feels weird…” Atsumu murmured.

Ah, a virgin. How adorable.

The best people to fuck, in your not so humble opinion, were virgins. They were quite similar to new toys— they’d have your cock inside of their cunts, getting a good feel of how big you are before they’re reduced to a sobbing mess, feeling your cock molding them into your shape.

“C’mon now, ‘Tsumu, don’t be such a buzzkill for yer senpai.” You mused, giving his ass a harsh slap. “I’ll take good care of you. I’ll be gentle.” Your words weren’t the most convincing especially paired with the predatory gaze in your eyes. Nonetheless, Atsumu complied hesitantly, deciding to trust you instead, “Ugh fine. Ya better be gentle or I’m backing out.”

‘You’d be too addicted to even think about backing out’ You thought to yourself, grinning as you pulled the blonde out of the shower, urging him to lay down on one of the benches before pulling your shorts off along with your boxers.

By no means were you remotely close to small. Atsumu shamelessly drooling at the sight of your thick cock leaking beads of precum in your hand. Miya could only gulp as you pressed the smooth head of your cock against his bottom lip, letting the fat head part his lips open. “W-Wait you won’t go too deep right?” Atsumu mumbled worriedly.

“Just trust me.” You responded, guiding the rest of your cock inside of his mouth slowly. And without a single warning, you grabbed the boy by the back of his head, pulling him in closer as he choked helplessly on your cock. “You can take it right Tsum? Senpai knows you can.” The condescending grin that wormed its way onto your lips made Atsumu moan against your cock, your hips now moving to fuck the wing spiker’s warm throat.

You could vaguely hear the sound of him choking and gurgling around your thick length, the younger man’s jaw now going slack with how long you’ve been mercilessly thrusting into his mouth. “Shh, Samu might walk in at any minute. How would he react to seeing his cute lil twin getting facefucked by his sleazy senior?” You whispered tauntingly, Miya only “mmf!”-ing in reply.

With your thrusts slowly becoming sloppy as you felt your high approaching, you took your cock of the blonde’s mouth before spilling your load on his pretty face, relishing in the way your cum dripped over the boy’s cute features. “S-Senpai…” The boy panted, shakily taking your cock in his small hand “Want more…”

Your prediction was proven to be correct. Miya Atsumu was already addicted to your cock and you haven’t even taken his virginity yet! What a charming lil whore, so easy for you to break and corrupt!

Smiling at the blonde, your fingers were now pushed against the puffy rim of his ass, the dampness from his recent shower making it much easier to prep his hole for your cock. Atsumu let out a soft gasp as you started to curl and twist your fingers inside of him, his body writhing cutely against the bench he was laying on. “Mm so tight, I can’t wait to fill this cute cunt up.”

Miya blushed at your words, the venom in your voice making him flush red with how needy he was for you. Jolting upwards, he could feel your fingers brushing against his prostate, a flurry of high pitched moans ripping past his throat as you continued to fingerfuck the poor boy. “Ssssso good~!” Squealing girlishly, Atsumu’s cock trembled before he came on his stomach.

“Fuck, you look so hot” You rasped out, admiring the way his chest heaved up and down, his oversensitive cock now twitching against his stomach. As much as you wanted to spend your time admiring the view, your patience was wearing thin, and you could barely keep yourself from climbing on top of his quivering figure, aligning the head of your cock against his puckered rim before pushing every inch inside of him. The pain was absolutely unbearable-- the thought of pushing you off of him was the only thing occupying his mind as he blinked back the fat tears forming in his eyes.

As expected, his ass felt so good wrapped around your cock. Nothing beats the feel of a freshly entered, young virgin, especially since he looked so pretty folded down on the bench with your cock filling his ass.

“It hurts! Too big--!” Atsumu whimpered, finally letting the tears he had been holding back stream down his pretty little face. You only grasped both of his legs in response, folding him with ease so that his ass was raised to take in more of your cock. With you, balls deep inside of him-- It was safe to say that Atsumu was slowly breaking. It was obvious with how his tongue was stuck out, eyes crossed lewdly as the tears, cum and drool on his face mixed messily together. The satisfaction of burying every inch of your cock inside of his ass only brought a wicked smile on to your face and it didn’t take long for you to start fucking him and breeding him against the dirty bench, each euphoric thrust sending atsumu overdrive as he breathlessly panted for more. His whimpers sent you into a frenzy, your hips pistolling deeper to abuse his prostate-- and the blonde could only scream for dear life as you pounded into his guts mercilessly.

Rich, deep moans spilled from your lips only aiding Atsumu into orgasming much faster. And Your brash, rapid thrusts made ‘Tsumu moan out in pure bliss, keeping himself balanced as he held onto your sturdy arms. “Such a fucking cockslut for a virgin.” You groaned, Driving your cock deeper inside of him so that you could marvel at the little bump bulging out of his toned stomach.

“Look at that, you can even see my cock in yer little tummy.” Teasing him never got old, especially with the cute whine that came out of his mouth. “If only the team was able to see just how much of a virgin whore you really are.”

That alone was enough to make Atsumu cum once more, and with one more drive of your hips against his colon, you watched as his body spasmed against your cock, his eyes rolling into the back of his head as he cried out your name.

Although you did have a bad habit of tossing virgins away once you were done using them up, you were certain that you’d keep Miya Atsumu for a while. After all, he was quite fun to play with.

[guardianofrivendell]

A Royal Tease

Thorin x fem!reader

Requested: kind of - this was a favor to a very special person! 

Warnings:  NSFW with an E rating, so please only read if you’re 18+! 

A/N: Wowee... that was a ride! Writing smut is definitely NOT the same as reading it :) Let me know how I did it and if I should write more smut in the future. I still feel like it jumps from here to there sometimes, but the longer I worked on it, the worse it got so I decided to stop editing and throw it on here 🙈

Before you start reading, another friendly reminder that English is NOT my first language, so if some sentences feel forced or the vocabulary feels too simple or not descriptive enough, that’s why! 

Thorin was lying on his back in the sand, eyes closed and panting heavily. 

“Another one!” he growled after a few seconds.  “Are you sure you can take another one? Married life sure is taking a toll on ya!” Dwalin teased, getting in his starting position again. He rolled his muscles and Thorin could hear his bones crack. Dwalin was enjoying this far too much. 

Thorin might be losing his touch, but Mahal be his witness, he would never admit defeat. He couldn’t give Dwalin the satisfaction. So he pushed himself back up while muttering a line of very colourful words, ready to smack that smirk of his best friend’s face.

These late night sparring sessions with Dwalin were a godsend to get rid of the tension and frustration in his body, but that didn’t mean he would let him off the hook so easily. 

Wiping the sweat of his brow with the back of his hand, he walked towards the opposite side of the training field.  His tunic clung to his body, dripping with sweat so Thorin decided to take it off. 

“What in Durin’s name are those?” Dwalin’s voice boomed across the field.

Thorin immediately held his tunic in front of him, as if he had been caught doing something that he shouldn’t. He completely forgot about them. 

“S’none of your business,” he muttered.

“As your personal guard it is my bloody business, Thorin,” Dwalin retorted, making his way towards his King. 

“Who gave ya those bruises?”

Thorin stared at his best friend and felt his cheeks flush. He could see Dwalin’s thoughts take a turn for the worst, blaming himself for his King’s injuries. But he couldn’t tell him the truth, could he?  

“You were not the one who caused them,” Thorin said in a tone that made it clear he wasn’t going to elaborate.

“Then who did?” he pressed on. 

“Leave it, Dwalin.”

But Dwalin was quicker and snatched the shirt out of his hands so the bruises were visible. 

“Thorin…”

Dwalin’s eyes traveled over the King’s bare chest. His pecs, abs and hips were covered in dark purple bruises, each one of them the size of a gold coin. His eyes landed on the waistband of Thorin’s breeches and it looked like the bruises didn’t stop there.

“I’m supposed to protect ya, Thorin. Who mistreated you like this?”

Thorin kept his eyes focused on Dwalin’s, as if he wanted to have a staring match. Dwalin could see the internal battle his King was fighting, before Thorin broke eye contact and turned around to put his tunic back on.

“They’re Y/N’s alright,” he hissed, without looking at him. 

Dwalin stood completely shocked for a few seconds, before he balled his fists and almost bristled in anger.

“Dam or not, she can’t treat ya that way, Thorin,” he said through clenched teeth. 

Thorin placed his hands on Dwalin’s shoulders to calm him down. 

“No, my friend. No, it’s not like that at all… They happened during…” Thorin took a deep breath and lowered his voice in case someone could overhear. “During our lovemaking.”

Dwalin’s eyebrows shot up and his eyes went wide.  But he didn’t back off like Thorin had expected. If any, it peaked his interest. 

“She hurts ya for… Pleasure?”

Dwalin’s nose scrunched up, like the thought of someone hurting their One for pleasure was the most ridiculous thing he ever heard. Which, in his humble opinion, it most certainly was.

“In her world what happens at night is a lot more... interesting, to give it a name. We’ve been missing out, Dwalin. You can trust me on that.”

“But she hurts ya?” he repeated. 

Thorin chuckled. “Believe me, it doesn’t hurt one bit. On the contrary...”

They started walking out of the training halls, their sparring session long forgotten. 

Thorin knew it might not be appropriate to discuss his love life so openly with his friend, but he was almost certain Y/N wouldn’t mind and he felt relieved he could finally talk to someone about it.

“You don’t know half the things she’s capable of, Dwalin… The way her hands feel when she… Mahal!” Thorin groaned at the memories of your late night activities. 

“Easy there, lad,” Dwalin chuckled. “Ya don’t want to ruin those trousers too, aye?”

Thorin shoved him in a playful jest, but the seasoned warrior didn’t even budge.  He shook his head, tutting at the poor attempt of his King. “Pathetic.”

While they were walking towards the Royal wing of the mountain, Thorin told his friend about some of the things he learned the last few weeks. 

Dwarrows were a bit old fashioned in the bedchambers, or ‘rather prude’ as Y/N had called it, and she helped him discover a different side of himself.

By the time Thorin had told Dwalin about the different positions he definitely should try besides the classic one, they’d reached the heavy double doors of Thorin’s chambers and Dwalin’s cheeks had turned a few shades darker. 

Dwalin halted and nodded at the guards posted at each side of the door. 

Thorin opened the door and the right corner of his lips twitched. He was still a bit agitated that he couldn’t beat his friend on the grounds but there was always another way to get the upper hand...

“Oh and Dwalin… They use their mouth too.”

“Well I may hope so, it’s hard to kiss without yer lips,” he said, not understanding what Thorin meant. 

“Not for kissing, Dwalin. Not only for kissing.”

Thorin closed the door, leaving a speechless and heavily flustered Dwalin in the hallway.

*

When he turned around with the intention of entering his chambers and relaxing for the night, someone forcefully pressed his back against the door and pulled his face down in a heated kiss. 

It only took him a fraction of a second to wrap his arms around his wife and happily return the kiss, not wasting any time with deepening it by swiping her bottom lip with his tongue.  He felt her smile against his lips and she broke the kiss. 

“Eager, are we?”

“I do recall it was you who couldn’t resist me, ghivashel, you didn’t even let me come in properly,” Thorin chuckled, keeping his arms tightly wrapped around her while he placed a soft kiss on her forehead. 

In the meantime, her hands started traveling on their own, making their way over his broad shoulders and upper arms, before finally settling on his chest. His tunic was still damp from his earlier activities and left nothing to the imagination. Not that she needed to imagine it, she knew exactly what he was hiding underneath. What was hers…

Y/N smiled. “I can’t greet my husband after a day’s hard work?”

She reached up and caught his lips in another kiss. Thorin hummed softly.

“Aye,” he said, his hands lingering on her back, but he couldn’t resist slowly lowering them towards the delicious curve of her buttocks. He gave them a firm squeeze and pulled her flush against his body. 

Y/N could feel someone else greeting her.  “Well hello to you both,” she smirked. 

Even though she knew Thorin was that kind of dwarf who gets easily aroused - which was incredibly fun during meetings and official visits - he still caught her off guard with how fast his soldier could report for duty. 

“We’re at your service, little one,” he said, lowering his voice. 

Licking her lips in anticipation, Y/N grabbed the hem of his tunic and lifted it upwards.  Thorin raised his arms and helped her get the tunic off his body, carelessly tossing it aside. His breathing growing heavy already with the adrenaline still in his body from the earlier workout. 

His trousers and undergarments were next, she tugged at the laces and let the fabric pool around his ankles. 

She took a few steps back and took the time to admire the view before her.  His silver and black hair screaming at her to get her hands in, so she could tug it just the way he liked it. The dark hair dusted across his broad chest, trailing down towards his V line and circling around his member. The bruises her lips left the night before stood out on his skin, proof of her claim on him.  Thorin was absolutely stunning. A work of art.

“Like what you see?” he hummed, his voice still a deep rumble, hitting her right in her core. Mahal, bless that voice! 

“Always,” she whispered.

When she turned around and started walking away from him, Thorin grabbed her wrist and pulled her back. 

“You’re not going to leave me like this, are you,” he growled. 

He knew she was capable of it, she’d done it before. There was nothing his wife liked more than teasing him and leaving him hanging for a while. According to her it was fun, she liked getting him all riled up, but for Thorin it was absolute torture. He wasn’t used to not getting things when he wanted them. 

“Easy tiger, I was just going to draw you a bath.”

*

Thorin sighed deeply when he reclined in the tub, the warm water soothing his aching muscles. 

“Feels good?” Y/N smiled, getting a washcloth ready. 

He nodded and hummed softly, closing his eyes. His nose filled with the scent of the burning wood from the fire and lavender from the bathwater, and combined with the warm temperature of the water it made him finally relax.

She sat down behind the bathtub and took the bottle of oil for his hair. Y/N brought the opened bottle close to her face, smelling the herbal fragrance. She inhaled it deeply, loving the smell because it reminded her of Thorin. Her husband. Her King. 

“I’ll start with your hair.”

She poured a little oil on her hands and rubbed them together to spread it evenly.  Her fingers purposefully moved around his scalp, working in small circular motions. He moaned when she added just the right amount of pressure to massage the oil in his hair and again when she started delivering gentle strokes around his ears and neck.  With a cup she poured hot water over his hair to rinse it. Thorin kept his eyes closed when she was finished, his body completely relaxed and at peace.

Seeing how he turned into mush under her skilled hands, made washing Thorin’s hair something Y/N loved to do. It was not her favorite part… no, that part came up next. 

She leaned over and pressed a kiss below his ear, and took the washcloth from the side of the tub. Carefully pouring some oil on it, she kneaded the cloth until it was properly soaked, before she let it glide over his chest. 

A smile played around her lips when Thorin groaned as soon as she started massaging his muscles with the cloth, washing away the tension in them. 

Her hands let the washcloth glide over the muscles in his arms, shoulders and legs, adding enough pressure to work the knots out, leaving no skin untouched.

Except the part where he needed her touch the most. 

Every time she came close, Thorin bit his lip in anticipation but she always changed direction or directed her attention elsewhere. He grew more and more desperate, she noticed. So far so good.  

“What were you and Dwalin talking about?” she asked, curious about the subject of their conversation.  

Thorin opened his eyes, but couldn’t meet hers. 

“Ah… yes. Well, I may have taken off my tunic during our sparring session tonight.”

Oh. So Dwalin got curious, she thought.  She abandoned the washcloth, letting it float around the water.

“I bet he had some questions about these?”

Her finger started trailing the contours of the bruises. First in a faster circular motion, but as she got closer to his hips she slowed her pace down and adjusted the pressure to nothing more than a feather-light touch. 

Thorin closed his eyes again and let his head fall back against the sloping side of the tub. His breath came quicker and when her eyes wandered down his stomach, she was pleased to notice his member was back at full attention again. When she let her finger linger near the tip, she could hear him hold his breath in anticipation. 

“What did you tell him?”

But Thorin didn’t give her an answer, too focused on her movements and ministrations. She was so close, just a little more to the left...

But instead of doing what he wanted her to do - and she knew he was desperate for it, her teasing and lingering touches had made him wild with desire - she changed direction again and traced the inside of his thigh and pelvic bone, purposefully ignoring his hard on. 

“Tease!” he groaned, clutching the edge of the tub in frustration. 

Y/N raised an eyebrow in question. “A tease? Me?”

She stood up, clutching her chest like she was actually shocked by his accusation.

“I would never,” she smirked, and Thorin loved the way her eyes twinkled with mischief. “You’re the one who doesn’t want to tell me what you told Dwalin.”

“I merely gave him some advice based on our experiences, ghivashel. I believe master Dwalin will keep his flushed cheeks for the remainder of the week. Serves him right.”

Satisfied with his answer, she turned to grab a towel, dropping it on a nearby chair for him to use later. 

“I’ll leave you to it then.” 

Her eyes lingered on his pulsing cock for a few seconds before she winked at him. “Don’t enjoy yourself too much.”

Before she could leave him, he called out to her.

“The least you can do is give me another kiss.”

Y/N smiled and leaned down to peck his nose. 

“No, a kiss worthy of a king,” he groaned. 

But when she leaned further down to press her lips on his, she missed how his eyes held the same twinkle hers did a few moments ago…

Before she knew it, Thorin had grabbed her by the waist and pulled her on top of him. Their movements made the water splash everywhere and Y/N shrieked when her dress got soaked with the bathwater. 

“Oakenshield,” she growled, pushing her off his chest with her hands and settling in his lap.

She enjoyed the lustful clouding of his eyes when she moved just the slightest, giving him the friction he longed for. 

“Always trying to get what you want,” she reprimanded him. 

“Can you blame me?”

His hands drifted admiringly over her body, following the curves of her bossom and hips. 

“Yes!”

He was taking over control and she had to stop it before she gave in. With some difficulty she managed to climb out of the tub and wrung the water out of the dress of her skirt, turning the bathroom floor in a small pond.  Seeing as Thorin made no move to get out of his bath or apologize, Y/N decided to take the teasing to a higher level. 

Keeping her back to her husband, she slowly unhooked the fastings of her dress and let it drop to the floor with a slap.  She heard the sharp intake of Thorin’s breath and the slosh of the water when he sat up. 

Oh, that’s right… Did she forget to mention she wasn’t wearing anything underneath? Oops…

He wasted no time in getting out of the bath, not even bothering to take a towel to dry himself. The only thing on his mind was to get to his wife as fast as possible. 

She whimpered when their bodies clashed together, the evidence of his arousal poking between her butt cheeks. His lips attacked her neck, and she was almost certain the firm grip of his fingers on her waist would leave bruises the next day. Not that she minded.   

He guided them into their bedroom, and when the back of her knees touched the bed frame, her mind cleared and she tutted at him. 

“Since when are you in charge, yâsûn?”

He cupped her breasts, softly kneading them and letting his thumbs flick over her nipples. He lowered his head to take one in his mouth, not stopping his caresses on the other one. 

Y/N sighed and let her head fall on her shoulder, her hand finding its way in his hair. His damned mouth...

“I don’t hear you complain,” he smirked.

She certainly didn’t complain when he slid one of his thick, calloused fingers between her folds, and Thorin moaned when he felt how slick she already was. 

“You’ve been enjoying your teasing,” he accused her. “All this for me?”

She grabbed his length and he hissed at the sudden contact. She stroked a few times to spread the precum, and when her thumb flicked the head it took all his strength not to come all over her hand right that minute. 

“I couldn’t stay behind with all this for me...” she smirked. 

With a growl he connected their lips again. His wife knew exactly which buttons to press and    he both loved and hated it. Without breaking the kiss, he grabbed her thighs and squeezed them, urging her to jump up. Y/N did as asked - which surprised Thorin - and locked her ankles behind his back to keep her balance. 

Not bothering to clear the furs from the bed, he laid her down on top of them, her hair sprawled out on the pillows. 

She bit her lip when she noticed how his eyes had darkened even further, Thorin looked like he could devour her any minute. She didn’t realise how close to the truth she was. Maybe he needed another round of teasing...

Before she could follow through with her plan, Thorin took the lead.

He flipped her on her stomach, grabbed her by the waist and pulled her onto him, all in one fluent move. It was a position they only did once before but he had already claimed it as his favorite. 

Knowing what he wanted, she placed her knees on either side of his hips and let her back rest against his front. The hairs on his chest rubbed deliciously against her soft skin and she had a hard time staying still. The muscles in his thighs and stomach were rock hard, just like her toy in between.  Y/N’s hand went up his hair and tugged it harshly when her clit came in contact with his cock.

“Are you ready for me, little one?”

His voice got even lower if that was possible, the words wrapping around her like a silky smooth blanket. If he kept talking like that, it would be over for her before they even began. 

“Thorin, please,” she begged.

“I thought you liked teasing?” he chuckled. 

She grabbed his member, guiding it to her entrance and lowered herself down in an attempt to shut him up, a desperate moan falling from her lips when their hips connected. Thorin tightened his grip on her. She felt absolutely divine. 

“Only when I’m the one doing it,” she gasped, enjoying the feeling of being stretched out. 

One of his arms slid around her stomach and settled between her legs, circling her clit with his thumb when he began to thrust upwards. 

They soon found a steady rhythm, and Y/N could feel her orgasm building quickly. 

No, too soon, she thought and she slowed down the pace, slapping his hand away from her clit.

She leaned forward, keeping her body up with her hands on the furs. The new angle made her feel every inch of him and a loud moan escaped her throat. 

This is what she had been craving the entire day. 

She raised her hips until only his tip was inside of her and then lowered herself down, agonizingly slow. 

“You’re such a good girl for me. Mahal, keep going, do not stop!”

She loved it when he got vocal, and with each curse and praise he murmured, she felt herself getting closer to her release. 

Thorin noticed her change in breathing and pitch of her moans and sped up the pace. 

This was all feeling too good and with the help of his encouragements she came undone, clutching the furs until her knuckles turned white.

He cursed heavily when she clamped down on him, but did his best to help her ride out her high. He kissed her neck and stilled his movements to give her a break, only resuming them when she nodded that she was okay. 

As he began to thrust even harder and faster, Thorin gathered her hair in one hand to keep her in place, his other hand firmly on her waist while he chased his own release. His moans became increasingly louder, less controlled with each thrust and a curse escaped his lips.

“You feel too good, ghivashel, m’not going to last,” he hissed through clenched teeth. 

He came with a shout and a cutoff curse but kept thrusting in and out of her until he felt himself soften. When he finally pulled out, he covered her back in kisses.

Y/N laid down on the bed and opened her arms for him to cuddle. Both their bodies were covered in a thin layer of sweat, and it took them a while to catch their breath. 

These were the moments when she felt the safest. In his arms, in the after bliss of their lovemaking, listening to the soft and even breathing of her husband. She kissed his head and trailed the muscles of his upper back with her finger, earning her a content sigh from Thorin. 

A chuckle escaped her throat and he looked up at her questioningly.

“Now you have something new to tell Dwalin,” she said with a wink. 

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[vneuns]

— “SIGN AN NDA” + Sapnap

author’s note(s): i was actually gonna cry if this shit didn’t save tbh. but shoutout to art and someone who shall not be named for helping me out ily mwa mwa

cw: cursing , talk of suggestive themes ( inspired by bils new song <3 )

The bright sunlight from the window next to your bed woke you up as you sighed groggily knowing it was too early for anyone in their right mind to be awake.

You had lots of things to do today and you knew your body was doing this on purpose. It was as if it wanted you to face the wrath of your manager and makeup artist when they noticed the bags under your eyes.

The body behind you groaned before throwing their arm over your stomach pulling you in closer to their warmth. Mornings like this were your favorite cuddled up with your boyfri “sneaky link” as he groaned about not wanting to leave your expensive bed.

This- thi- whatever you want to call it was suppose to be a one time thing. You two had met through a few mutual friends and neither of you were looking for anything serious so one thing led to another and well.. you know how that went.

And after talking a bit in the morning you found out you had a lot more in common than you had thought. Well you also weren’t really thinking about during the .. events.

So after exchanging numbers it became a common thing for you to text each other randomly wanting the other to come over.

For activities…

Knowing you weren’t gonna be able to go back to sleep for a little while you blindly placed your hand on your bedside table reaching for your phone. After knocking over a few things you decided to stop being lazy and say up slightly taking it off the charger before laying back down.

“quit moving around.” sapnap grumbled into the back of your neck.

“get up, big baby.”

he mumbled something incoherent rubbing his slightly rough calloused thumb on your exposed stomach tiredly.

you bit your lip at the sentimental action. He was always doing things like this to you and then when you’d call him out on it he’d just brush it off and pretend as if he hadn't heard you.

Your phone buzzed with a notification which brought you out of your daze and unlocked it, going to check all of your social medias.

Once you scrolled for a little while and didn’t find anything too interesting you decided it was time to start getting ready and then a headline in bold mentioning your name caught your eye.

you clicked the link as you read the article about you having a potential new boyfriend after pictures leaked of you walking sap to his car after he had come over for dinner.

There were multiple words used to describe what was happening since you were leaning down on his car, your head slightly in his window.

The one used the most was kiss.

“You’re such a fucking dumbass.” You mumbled arms interlocked with the gingers next to you as you walked down the slight hill to his car. “Don’t act like you weren’t the one who called me.” He told you rolling his eyes playfully taking out his car keys and unlocking the car.

“Don’t act like you weren’t the one who called me.” You deepened your voice slightly making a face and hand movements.

“You answered.” Sapnap unhooked his arm from yours as he opened the driver side door getting inside. “You’d probably send some assassin after me.”

The thought of that pondered your mind at one point when you thought he was ghosting you for a few days when it turns out he had lost his phone but it would’ve made you seem like you actually had feelings for the boy or you were some type of psychotic girlfriend.

Startling you out of your thoughts your eyes snapped over to him when the window started going down.

“Whew look at this ride.” A catcall like whistle left your lips as you leant inside looking at the interior.

“Could be my sugar daddy if you wanted.”

Sap laughed turning off the ac shaking his head. “You wanna live off of cereal and ramen for days at a time?”

The idea sounded.. not great at all. Going from something lavish to .. that. Wasn’t in your best interest.

“M’ ok thanks though.”

“Text me when you get home ya?”

“Aw look at you caring for my well being.”

“I don’t care i just don’t need you to die right after leaving my humble adobe.”

Sapnap shook his head before leaning a bit closer to you your lips inches apart.

“It’s freezing and you’re wearing shorts and a tank top. go inside.”

Of course they were there that day. They were always there. Creeping in the corners trying to pry into your personal life.

When your fame started to grow you knew what you were getting yourself into. But what you didn’t sign up for was having your privacy invaded in your own home.

You didn’t put your “love life” out there so it was nothing anyone should have an opinion on. Though it was the internet and just because you personally didn’t want it out there that’s where it was going to be whether you liked it or not.

“So warm in the morning.” Without any warning his arms slotted around you squeezing impossibly tighter. “Like a little teddy bear.”

“God you’re annoying.” It was out there. Nothing you could do now so you had to embrace it aka act like it never happened. “make me breakfast.”

“Go pour a bowl of cereal.” You managed to twist around in his hold to face him. His eyes were barely open a small barely there smile on his face. “You still haven’t gotten me the one I like yet.”

He knew exactly how to get whatever he wanted out of you one way or another. So after a bit of random “Pillow talk.” you got up and made some crepes. The two of you talked for a little bit before it was time for him to go and get ready for a stream he had in a few hours.

“Hey umm..” His greenish grayish eyes looked up at you giving you his full attention as he tied his shoes.

“I texted my manager a few minutes and he’s gonna send you an NDA.”

The boys eyebrows furrowed at the words that left your mouth.

“An NDA..? wh-why for what?”

“Just don’t want paparazzi coming up to you or anything.” Your eyesight moved to the floor as you picked at your cuticles.

“We’ve been seeing each other for months. Why are you bringing this up now?”

You chewed at your bottom lip as he got up from the couch in your peripheral.

“My career and all of that.”

“You know what fuck you Y/n don’t fucking call me about all your problems or text me asking me to come over because you’re fucking lonely.” And with that he stormed out

@heyskeppy @inniterhq @basilly @yamturds @dysfunctionalcrab @siriushxney @sqpnap @tinyegg @ttakinou @charnease @i-mmunity @b3l0v3ds @alice-blue-skies

[inkbyajm]

Bottled Up

pairing: C.H. x fem!reader

category: angst, fluff

warnings: yelling, crying, insecurities

word count: 2.2k

notes: apologies for the tardy post, i wrote and rewrote and re-rewrote the whole angsty scene because i didn’t know if it was written well enough, i wanted to make sure you guys could feel the emotions that i vividly visualised and tried my best to put into words  :( i did send it to a friend to check and she seemed to like it, so let me know how it goes for you, my loves. the angst for this one was inspired by 2 different songs - hold me while you wait by lewis capaldi and i will run from you by cemeteries. it’s not necessarily about the lyrics, but more about the melody and the mood you get into listening to them (they go in order). give those a listen :) also, beware of the upcoming philosophy references, i did study philosophy last year, hopefully no one gets triggered lmao

< previous    next >

Is a person’s scent something a normal human being picks up on before taking into account the rest of their features? Would a normal human being remember said scent and be able to recognise it in a crowd full of strangers? Corpse wasn’t too sure about the answer, but one thing he did know, is that she smelled delicately sweet, like cherry blossoms, and that ever since he had noticed it during their game night a few weeks ago, he simply couldn’t let it go. It was intoxicating, but in a calming way. 

━

Corpse and (Y/N) each lay on their beds in their own homes, going into the third hour of their call. He couldn’t exactly fall asleep, so he had decided to see what his dear friend was up to, and even though she was this close to succumbing to sleep, she said nothing and stayed up to keep his busy mind company.

“Okay, hot topic: what do you think about soulmates? More specifically the romantic type?” the girl asked, not knowing how much of a risqué question it was. How was he supposed to answer?

“I don’t really have an opinion on it. Why?”

“I read Symposium by Plato the other day and it presented an interesting concept about human beings. Basically-” Of course she fucking read philosophical books. How were they even having a conversation with each other? Why were they even friends? She was on a whole other level of smart. “-so this guy says that humans were like androgynous blobs, so they’d come in two sets of everything a normal person has. But those humans were so powerful, the gods were literally shaking in their robes, so Zeus decided to cut everyone into two to weaken them. But then humans became so miserable, they spent their entire lives searching for their other halves. In the end, Zeus kinda felt bad and said fuck it, I’ll give y’all dicks and vaginas for every time you wanna hug each other. And that’s the oldest explanation there is about the idea of soulmates.” she sighed, finished with her rant.

“That was...not at all the story I expected to hear.” she heard him mumble on the other side of the call. “Yeah, Greek philosophers were up to some reeal freaky things, you would have loved them,” he laughed at her joke, “I honestly think it’s cute. Not the whole cutting people into two thing, but like, longing for someone and then finding them because you finally feel complete. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a strong independent woman who doesn’t need a prince in shining whatever to sweep me off my feet. But it does sound nice, that ideal comfort, a person you’re just...meant to be with, I guess.”

There was a moment of silence that neither of them really minded, before it was Corpse’s turn to ask the second bold question of the night. “Have you found that person yet? Your soulmate?”

She’s never thought about it before, but she hasn’t really thought about soulmates that much either, it was a spontaneous thought she had said out loud. “I’m not sure, actually. (B/F/N) could be one, I guess.” (Y/N) shrugged in return. Wasn’t she going to ask him about it? She probably didn’t care that much. Understandable.

“My favourite quote about love is «You come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by seeing an imperfect person perfectly.». It’s by Sam Keen, the American philosopher. It maay be the hopeless romantic in me shining through, but I do very much agree with his statement.” Did this mean anyone could have a chance with her despite their fuckups? So if he were to try, would she-?

“Obviously, there are some things that just can’t be ignored or avoided, but at that point it’s preferences and personal tolerance. Depends on the person, ya know?” she swiftly added, unaware of the effect it had on him. Sick. Some people were just meant to rot alone.

The final question was posed by (Y/N). She’d be lying if she said she wasn’t at all curious. This little crush of hers had been steadily growing with every hang out, every laugh, every hug and every glance. There are rarely ever moments where one could casually discuss a topic this personal with friends, at least there weren’t with friends one had feelings for. This was the perfect opportunity.

“Corpse?”

“Hmm?”

“Have you ever been in love?” her voice was soft, her approach gentle.

“Well, I’ve been in relationships before, so I guess, yeah? It’s been so long, I don’t even know what love feels like anymore.” he let out a breath resembling a chuckle. Lamest fucking answer ever. But it was true. He hadn’t thought about love in that way in quite a while.

“A lot of people describe it as having an intense range of overwhelming feelings. Lightheadedness, slight shakiness, heart palpitations, some people have even reported losing their appetite. Crazy how human bodies work, huh? Oh! Speaking of chemicals-”

She had continued on to ramble about...chemistry? Eyes? Corpse couldn’t really hear what she was saying anymore, let alone concentrate on her words, as he pieced everything that’s been happening for the past few months together. The nauseating feeling. The pounding of his heart so fast it felt like he was about to die. The urge to make as little eye contact with her as possible, because otherwise he’d turn into a furnace. The obsession with her perfume, like he was some fucking creep. The fool was falling in love. And it was at that moment that everything had come crumbling down.

━

(Y/N) and Corpse hadn’t talked for a couple of weeks. Or rather (Y/N) messaged the 23 year old many times, but he’d either claim to be busy or just not answer at all. There were two possible reasons for the sudden lack of contact: he was indeed busy with his musical projects and couldn’t allow himself to be distracted; or something much more serious was going on. It didn’t matter, for she was already in her car, on her way to his apartment.

Arriving at her destination, she used the spare key he gave her months ago, a sign of absolute trust, and allowed herself into his humble abode. Silence reigned in her friend’s residence. She thought maybe he had gone somewhere, and though that was unlikely, it wasn’t unprecedented. The door to his recording room was closed, and while she was tempted to check if he was in there, she refrained from doing so, knowing that specific room was not to be entered unless he was around to give permission.

“Corpse?” she called out just to make sure. There was no response for a few minutes, which made her assume she had the place for herself, until she heard a door open behind her. Turning around, she saw his figure emerge from said recording room in a white t-shirt and black sweatpants, his curly hair disheveled.

“Hey, how are you d-”

“Why are you here?” he spoke flatly, interrupting her. “Well- You weren’t, um, answering your messages or any of my calls, so I thought something had happened.” she replied, suddenly nervous, fiddling with the rings on her fingers. “Nothing happened. I told you I was busy.”

The air around them seemed colder as tensions rose. (Y/N) could tell he was irritated, but she couldn’t exactly figure out why. She had never seen this side of him before. “Okay. Tell you what, I assume you haven’t had dinner yet, so why don’t I go ahead and start cooking something up while you-”

“Get out.”

She blinked a few times, not quite registering the words that had just left his mouth. “Sorry?” Her voice was quiet. She was taken off guard.

“Are you deaf? I said get. the fuck. OUT.”

Corpse shouted the last word, making her flinch in what appeared to be fear. Good. Run away while you still can. Heart pounding, (Y/N) took a second to remind herself whom she was speaking to. “I see that you’re angry, but at least give me a reason why-”

“You want a reason? I just don’t fucking WANT you here!” Anger grew inside of him like a tumor, but it wasn’t intended for her. She had simply been caught in a storm that had been building up for years. “Do you understand that?! I can’t fucking be around you without feeling like I’m going to EXPLODE.”

His words hit her like paintballs. They were only words, plain and simple, but they dug deeper and deeper into her skin with each hit, until, eventually, it broke. Eyes burning, she felt the tears slowly welling up in them.

“Why are you doing this to me?!” her own voice grew louder with frustration, but mostly, confusion.

“Maybe because I can? Because I’m a goddamn asshole?” 

“Don’t say that.”

“How?! How can I not say it when it’s the truth!” He wanted to stop. His mind told him to cease whatever it was that he was doing. However, blinded with resentment towards himself, he only spilled words he would regret after it was too late. 

“I can’t function like a normal fucking human being. I can’t be a good friend, son, or whatever the fuck else, and I sure as hell can’t love you.”

The paintballs had turned into a singular sword. A very long, very sharp sword that had found itself plunged deep inside her chest. How did he found out? When? Had she been too obvious? Had she been pushy? Clingy? Way out of line? The woman before him was unable to conceal her shock, as tears came rushing down her hot cheeks. Her voice brittle, she tried defending herself. She couldn’t leave it at that. She had to try. Try to have him see reason. “You don’t love me, that’s fine. But you didn’t have to deliver it this way-”

“But I did.” breathless with fury, Corpse clenched his fists so tight they had turned cold, yet they were still trembling. “You can get so naïve and dumb, you won’t understand things unless they’re spelled out nice and fucking bold for you.”

He closed with (Y/N) until their noses nearly touched. He noticed the way she silently shook, her eyes which shed endless tears never leaving his gaze. Unable to make a single sound, she felt the man’s hot breath on her face, his aura domineering.

“Now get. out.”

Her body wouldn’t cooperate as she just stood there. Staring back at him, her inner brows raised. Corpse wanted to hug her. Envelop her trembling figure with his and tell her he was sorry, that he meant none of it, that he had lost his mind. But he couldn’t bring himself to do anything. And with his own tears threatening to spill, he created a distance between them. He needed her gone.

“Leave! GO!”

His yelling was enough to jolt (Y/N) out of her trance, and, in a hurry, she sprinted towards the entrance. The door closed behind her, she felt a sudden urge to fill her lungs with much needed air. She jumped at the resounding scream that emanated from deep within his soul, letting out all of his pent-up rage.

Feet carrying her all the way to her car parked outside of the building, the young woman managed to climb in, and this was the queue for her body to break down. The night was young. The street empty. No one around to hear her long-lasting wailing. She clutched the steering wheel for support, fingers wrapping around the leather in a tight grip. A headache was creeping up from the back of her skull. Her ears pulsated in response to the heavy pounding of her heart. Clumsily, (Y/N) inserted the key into the ignition, felt around for the gear stick, and drove away. She didn’t know where she was going or how long it was going to take to get there. She needed to get out.

What went wrong? When did it go wrong? She couldn’t help but feel guilty, feel at fault. She had never seen that side of him before. He had never treated her that way before.

It was the hugs, wasn’t it? He had to have noticed the way she held on for a second too long to enjoy the smell of his cologne. Her vision blurred as she resumed softly weeping, her salty tears staining her top. Or it might have been the touchiness, she would practically glue herself to him during their movie nights. Unaware of both her actions and surroundings, (Y/N)’s breathing quickened, becoming ragged. Maybe he didn’t like the way she called him three times a week. Her hands were slowly losing control over the wheel, over the vehicle she was driving. She invaded his privacy. That was definitely it. Fuck. How could she have been so damn blind, selfish, ignorant, FUCKING STUPID.

Lights. Something was moving towards her- MOVE.

With a sharp turn, she dodged the approaching car just by a hair’s breadth, but as she had avoided one accident, another came just as quickly. 

[dream-a-little-bigger-x]

Meant To Be Yours | Luke Patterson

A/N: this is for all the Heathers fans and Musical Theater lovers out there! I was listening to the soundtrack today and realized how incredibly good Luke would be at singing meant to be yours...  Nobody asked for this but... Here ya goooo! 

Pairing: Luke Patterson x Musical Theater Program!reader 

Warnings: angst, fluff, minor swearing 

Words: 5,470

Being a Musical Theater fan and in Los Feliz High’s Musical Theater program has never made Y/N very popular with her peers. Besides her friends at the Musical Theater program and Julie and Flynn, she never really had many people taking as much as a glance at her. None of that really improved when she and Luke started dating. No one believed she was dating the cute hologram band member from Julie and The Phantoms. Thank God they don’t know the truth. Dating a ghost would get her twice the bullying. 

The first time she saw them was when the boys performed ‘Bright’ with Julie at the spirit rally about three months ago. Julie had never told Y/N she played with a hologram band, and though Flynn was upset about it, Y/N just found it incredibly confusing. Julie would’ve told her and Flynn about a hologram band. There must be something else that she’s not telling her, she figured. Something just doesn’t add up about the whole story. And after an entire night of lying awake in bed, she heads to Julie’s garage before school the next day , finding the three hologram band boys there, hanging around together. 

She glances from the cute guy behind the drums, to the other with the flannel, to finally land on the -- in her opinion -- cutest of the three with the orange beanie covering most of his dark hair, trying to connect the dots. “Oh, hey, Y/N,” Julie greets when she enters the garage, making Y/N snap out of her thoughts. “Dad told me he saw you walk into the studio.” She glances at the boys, trying her hardest to pretend they’re not even there. “So… Are you going to tell me why your hologram band is in your garage?” Julie’s eyes widen at this question, then dart to each of the boys, who look about as confused as her. “Y-you can see them?” Julie stutters, trying to figure out what’s happening. “Yes? Am I not supposed to?” Y/N’s eyes dart over to the boys again as they gather closer towards the two girls. “Why are you all looking at me like that?” She’s growing more and more nervous. Maybe she has something on her face. “You better sit down for this one,” Julie gently pushes her down on the armchair before standing in front of her with the boys behind her. “They’re ghosts… They died in 1995 when they ate some bad hot dogs and I’m pretty much the only one that can see them… Except for you, apparently.” Y/N tries her hardest to understand what’s happening right now. Those three boys are ghosts. And she can see them. She can see three ghosts. “I knew the hologram story was bullshit,” she finally manages to bring out after a couple of seconds of silence. “Why didn’t you tell me?” “I didn’t want you to think I’d gone completely crazy…” Y/N lets a small smile shine out. She’d been there for Julie when she’d lost her mother and Julie  had been there after Y/N’s grandmother had passed away too. “You know my grandmother used to be in this voodoo crap when she was alive, I would’ve believed you if you’d just told me.” The two girls chuckle at this, remembering the times Y/N’s grandmother used to babysit the two after school and she’d tell them these stories about ghosts and witches and voodoo. Back then, the girls used to giggle at them and mimic Grammy Dottie on their sleepovers. “I know, I’m sorry. I should’ve told you…” Julie takes Y/N’s hands in hers, pulling her up on her feet again. “Will you forgive me?” Y/N pretends to think about it before nodding, the two of them giggling as they embrace. Y/N’s eyes then land on the boys behind her. “You might wanna introduce me to your band though,” she whispers in her best friend’s ear. “Right,” Julie lets go of Y/N and turns to face the boys. “Boys, this is Y/N Y/L/N. My best friend since diapers, pretty much. Y/N, this is my band.” “I’m Reggie!” the boy in the flannel raises his finger, “Hi!” He gives her the most excited smile, followed by a little wave. Y/N returns the favor. “I’m Alex,” the blonde guy she’d seen behind the drums earlier, takes his turn to introduce himself. Y/N let out a soft ‘hi’ before looking over at the last member. The one in the orange beanie. The one with the gorgeous, tender  hazel eyes and the soft smile plastered on his face.  He doesn’t introduce himself at first, it takes Reggie nudging him with his elbow before he flinches back to earth. “I-I’m Luke….” A faint blush creeps onto his cheeks. “It’s very nice to meet you, boys,” she says to all of them, but keeps her eyes on Luke. There’s something about him that attracts her eyes to him. Maybe it’s the smile or the eyes. Or the arms. But just maybe there’s something about this vibe he’s giving off. This kind-hearted, passionate, excited vibe that makes him so much more attractive. Just something about the way he carried himself with so much humbled confidence. There was just something about Luke. 

Though Y/N found it weird at first, having a crush on a ghost, she couldn’t stop her brain from thinking about him or her heart from beating faster every time he was near. Julie and Flynn even noticed her drawing hearts in her notes from class, and humming love songs in the hallways. They couldn’t keep themselves from teasing you about it either. “Back on Cloud Luke, Y/N?” Flynn makes her snap  out of her thoughts when Julie and her join Y/N at the lunch table. A scarlet tint crawls onto her cheeks as she subtly hides the ‘LP’ doodles she’d drawn in her musical script. “What?! No!” she yelps out a little too defensively. “I don’t have a crush on Luke, you guys. I don’t know where you get your information…” she chuckles nervously before sipping from her drink. Flynn and Julie exchange glances. “Exhibit A,” Julie starts and tugs the script from underneath Y/N’s arm. “Your billions of doodles of hearts and his initials in your script and notes.” Flynn whips out her phone, opening Twitter on Y/N profile. “Exhibit B,” she stars, and shows her friend the last few tweets, “You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams,” She dramatically reads out the most recent one. “And I'd give up forever to touch you, 'cause I know that you feel me somehow. You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be and I don't wanna go home right now.” “That last one is a great song,” Y/N points out. “Sure, but you never Tweet any quotes or song lyrics unless you’re truly feeling it,” Julie reasons. Y/N knows her friends are right. She does have a crush on Luke but she doesn’t want to admit she’s crushing on a ghost. A ghost. Made of air. “You can’t deny there’s chemistry between the two of  you, Y/N. You’ve been inseparable since day one. Plus, he’s hella cute,” Flynn states. Y/N’s lips curl up into a smile at this. “Just remember he’s made out of air,” Julie adds, making all three of them chuckle. “Cute air,” Y/N retorts with a shrug. Flynn places a hand on hers, making her look up at her friend. “Just don’t get hurt, okay? It’s clear the two of you are mad for each other.” Y/N’s eyebrows furrow at this in confusion. “Luke doesn’t feel the same for me. Who would ever fall in love with the Musical Theater Nerd?” Her voice lowers, as does her head as she stares at her fidgeting hands on the table. “Uh, have you taken a look at yourself in the mirror? Ever?” Julie exclaims, almost angrily. “You are so gorgeous, Y/N,” Flynn chimes in with affirmation. “You have a killer body,” Julie continues. “A killer voice,” Flynn goes on. “And  you are so hilarious. Luke would be really stupid if he didn’t see that!” Y/N can’t help but smile at these compliments. Julie and Flynn always know how to cheer the girl up. “Just talk to him tonight after rehearsals.” Y/N nods her head, inhaling slowly. That night, Julie, Reggie and Alex quickly left after rehearsals, each with another excuse just so the two love birds could be alone. Y/N rolled her eyes at that, turning back to her script. Luke places his guitar in its stand before joining the girl on the couch, swatting away the script from her lap, and lying down with his head in her lap instead. She doesn’t say anything, but just lets him do whatever he feels comfortable doing. She’s now holding her script in one hand, resting it on his chest, while her other goes to his hair. It’s become an automatism for her to do that. Whether he was lying in her lap or they were just sitting next to each other, she always found her fingers tangling up in his hair. Ever since figuring out she could touch the guys, Luke has been very clingy towards her, asking for cuddles or grabbing her hand and playing around with the rings around her fingers or the bracelets around her wrists. “What are you doing?” he asks, looking at the script. “Preparing for the audition for the new musical next week,” she replies without taking her eyes off the script. The boys knew the girl could sing, and they often let her talk about her favorite musicals even though they had no clue about any of them since they’d come out after they died. “Which one is it?” he asks, his fingers running up and down her arm that’s resting on his chest. “Heathers,” she replies, “It’s based on the movie from the 80’s, do you know that one?” “Yeah, I think I watched it with Alex and his sister,” he replies, “They made a musical from that?” Y/N nods her head, her eyes glancing at his. He’s on his back, looking up at her. “Please, tell me you’re not going for one of the Heathers, though?” She shakes her head with a giggle. “Good, because I didn’t really like either of them in the movie.” “None of their parts are really in my range. I’m going to audition for Veronica.” He nods his head slowly, trying to remember which character that was. “The part Winona Ryder played in the movie.” He let out a whispered ‘aaaaaah’. “It’s a pretty big role, so I doubt I’ll actually get it.” Luke frowns at this, and sits up to face her with a disapproving scowl on his face. “You’re insanely talented, Y/N! If they don’t cast you as Veronica, they’re just crazy!” She smiles at his compliment. “Thanks, Luke…” she trails off a little, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “There are just so many talented people in the Musical Theater Program that I doubt they’ll pick me instead of them.” She chuckles at her own pathetic behavior. “It’s lame, I know…” He reaches for her hand when these words roll out of her mouth, capturing her attention again. “It’s not lame, Y/N. I get insecure sometimes too! Sometimes, I get these bouts of anxiety where I think our band will never be good enough for the music industry or for any manager to ever take us on. I sometimes think our songs aren’t good enough, or I’m not good enough. It’s normal, I think.” His words do make her feel a little better. “You just need someone to tell you otherwise and get those ugly thoughts out of your pretty head,” he taps her temple softly twice, making her giggle. “That’s really comforting, Luke, thank you…” She offers him a thankful smile whilst ignoring this gnawing feeling in the pit of her stomach. She wants to kiss him so badly, and judging from his eyes darting from her eyes to her lips and back, he’s thinking the exact same thing. She leans in a little, her head tilting and eyes fluttering. Butterflies erupt in her stomach as she catches Luke to do the same. They’re inches away when Carlos abruptly opens the garage doors, making the two of them jump away. The little boy’s eyes widen when he finds his sister’s best friend on the couch, cheeks reddening. “Oh, hey, Y/N. I didn’t know you were still here,” he chuckles awkwardly. Y/N knows why he’s here though. He likes to use the bathroom in the back, especially for all his number two’s. “Yeah, I was uh… Rehearsing for my audition next week,” she holds her script up in the air as proof. “You need the garage, don’t you?” He shoots her an awkward, toothy smile, which is enough for Y/N to know that he needs it for the exact reason he always needs it. “All right, I’m gone…” She glances at Luke whilst reaching past him for her backpack. “Meet me outside,” he tells you before poofing out. You do as told after saying goodbye to Carlos and leaving the garage where you find Luke sitting on the rock near the stairs to the house. She walks up a few of the stairs, so she’s on his eye-level. “I have an idea. If you want, I could help you rehearse some songs and dialogue? I could even ask the boys to help out?” She can’t withhold a smile at this suggestion of his. “You don’t know any of the music, though?” she fairly points out. “We’ll do our homework,” he replies with a grin. “Trust me, Y/N. We’ll be able to help you prepare for this audition, I promise!” Without thinking twice about it, she reaches up and kisses him on the cheek and whispers a thank you in his ear before turning on her heel and leaving the boy flustered on the rock. You didn’t talk to him like you’d promised Julie and Flynn. But at least now you know he kind of feels the same. 

The first kiss happened during the first rehearsal they planned in preparation for the audition. It’s after the Julie and The Phantoms rehearsal. Y/N’s on the couch, waiting for them to finish while going over some lines and lyrics, though her eyes often diververt to Luke. He watches her too, a soft smile tugging at the corners of his lips. He can’t wait to start rehearsing with her. When he told the boys about helping Y/N out with her audition, the boys had given him knowing glances. They told him he had to do something about this obvious crush he had on her. They often teased him about kissing her, even during their rehearsals when they caught the two looking at each other with desire in their eyes. “Are you ready, Y/N?” Reggie asks when the rehearsal with Julie finishes. His voice makes her avert her eyes from Luke’s, clearly far away on Cloud Luke. “Mmh?” she hums, not having registered his question until she repeats it in her mind, “Oh, yeah!” She gets up from the couch to join the boys at their instruments whilst Julie sits down on the couch instead. She offers Y/N an encouraging grin, excited to hear her sing again. Julie and Flynn were always the ones on the front row during any of the musicals the Theatre Program put on. They were there when Y/N played Chris in Carrie, and when she played Janice in Mean Girls. That last one was Julie’s favorite role she’d ever seen Y/N in. “We listened to the entire soundtrack last night, Julie showed us,” Alex informs his friend excitedly, proud he’s so informed on the musicals from the last decade. “We listened to the Broadway version and the West End version, so just tell us what you wanna do.” “I’m kind of stuck between these two songs to do for my audition. I wanna do I Say No, from the West End version because it showcases my range really well. But I also wanna do Seventeen because it’s my favorite, though I’m gonna need a person to duet with.” She can’t hide the fact that she wanted to duet the song with Luke, even though he can’t join her on the audition. Because one, you can only audition with someone from the program, and two… Luke is dead. “Let’s try the first one first?” Reggie suggests, looking over at Y/N. “Sure, you guys know the chords?” she asks the two with the guitars. They both nod before starting to play, Alex joining in with the drums too. Y/N grabs Julie’s white microphone after silently asking for her permission, which she granted by nodding her head. “You are a drug You are a poison pill I've got to kick this habit now Or else I never will I loved the rush When you would hold me close But you will not be satisfied Until I overdose” Julie has always admired how she can switch off from the world around her and get into character so quickly. The passion in her eyes and facial expressions are convincing, to say the least. “This is it Hit the brake I am finally awake Let me be Let me go You need help I can't provide I am not qualified This troubled teen is getting clean I say no” “Veronica, who else is gonna be-” Y/N’s eyes widen for a second when Luke chimes in with JD’s line in the song. But recomposes herself and turns to him completely, singing the next part to him. “No, no, no, no! Don't say a word You speak and I cave in You'll twist the truth again And drill deep down beneath my skin You said you'd change And I believed in you But you're still using me to justify the harm you do” She turns to Julie again, as if speaking to the audience like she would in the play. This leaves Luke a bit disappointed. He keeps his eyes on her, a smile tugging at his lips as he admires her. “This is it Hit the brake Call it all my mistake Long as you let me go You need help I can't provide I'm not Bonnie You're not Clyde It's not too late I'm getting straight I say no” Julie gets up from the couch and moves to the keyboard to back up with some softer tones for the bridge as the boys stop playing their instruments, whilst Y/N turns to Luke again. Imagining him as Jason Dean would be a terrible idea, but she’s going with it. “Blame your childhood, blame your dad Blame the life you never had But hurting people? That's your choice, my friend” The boys join in with their instruments again, building up the rest of the bridge. “'Cause I believe that love will win And hate will earn you nothing in the end This is the end” Luke looks at her in admiration and so much love, and decides to say JD’s line, though with a softer touch. “But I love you!” Y/N almost believes it, but recomposes herself, remembering the role she’s supposed to play and withhold during an entire musical. “Dude” She steps away from him while the boys sing the chorus along with her. “This is it I won't cry Starting now, I will try To pay back All the karma I owe Start again Somewhere new Far from cold guys like you So goodbye 'Cause now I I say no Just in time I say no Somehow I'm saying no Just say no I say no No!” The boys stop playing as Y/N lowers her microphone, panting from the last high notes she had to hit, and hit flawlessly. Reggie and Alex exchange glances with Julie while Luke simply stares at Y/N, a content sigh leaving his body. “That was so good!” Reggie makes Y/N snap out her thoughts -- like why Luke’s ‘I love you’ sounded so real. “I got ghost bumps!” He shows his arm even though it’s covered by his leather jacket. Y/N chuckles, biting down her lip nervously. “Let’s do the other one,” Alex then suggests, “Which was that? The duet, right?” Y/N nods her head slowly as nerves course through her body. She knows Luke’s going to want to play JD, like he’s done in the previous song too. “Luke, are you up for it?” The words roll off her lips before she allows them to. He nods his head eagerly, making the others chuckle, knowing why. They’d talked about this song last night, the boys teasing Luke by telling him he should probably learn this by heart if he wants to conquer Y/N’s heart. Y/N nods at Alex, who counts them in before hitting his drums, Julie and Reggie joining in with their instruments when needed. Y/N turns to face Luke, getting into the character of Veronica Sawyer again. “Fine! We're "damaged" Really "damaged" But that does not make us "wise" We're not "special", we're not "different" We don't choose who lives or dies Let's be normal, see bad movies Sneak a beer and watch TV We'll bake brownies or go bowling Don't you want a life with me? Can't we be seventeen? That's all I want to do If you could let me in I could be good with you” Her soft melodic and angelic voice makes Luke all mushy inside. “People hurt us” “Or they vanish” He sounds as vulnerable as JD does in this moment. “And you’re right, that really blows But we let go” “Take a deep breath” “And go buy some summer clothes We’ll go camping” “Play some poker” Y/N chuckles a little as her eyes tear up slightly at the tenderness of his voice. “And we’ll eat some chili fries Maybe Prom night” “Maybe dancing” “Don’t stop looking in my eyes” The power behind her voice surprises Luke that he has no other choice but to look in her eyes. All while the others join in with their instruments at full force. “Your eyes” “Can't we be seventeen Is that so hard to do? If you could let me in I could be good with you” The music gets more powerful, as do their voices. “Let us be seventeen If we've still got the right” “So what's it gonna be? I wanna be with you” “Wanna be with you” “Tonight” The electricity between the two of them and the desire that had been there all along now takes the better of her. In the heat of it all, she launches herself in Luke’s arms, pressing her lips to his in a fiery, passionate kiss. The others don’t stop playing, but they do exchange surprised and relieved glances. She breaks the kiss, but presses her forehead against his as she continues singing the song like the true professional she is. “Yeah, we’re damaged” “Badly damaged” “But your love’s too good to lose” “Hold me tighter” “Even closer” “I’ll stay if I’m what you choose” “Can we be seventeen?” “If I am what you choose” “If we’ve still got the right” “‘Cause you’re the one I choose” “You’re the one I choose” “You’re the one I choose” Suddenly, the lyrics have gotten an entirely different meaning. Especially the way they’re singing it, makes it seem like they’re actually singing it to each other. Like Y/N is singing to Luke and Luke to Y/N. Not Veronica and Jason Dean. Y/N coughs awkwardly as she steps away from Luke, glancing at the others who have their teasing grins at the ready. “That’s in the script…” she tries, but the laughter that erupts from their friends tells her she can’t lie to them. Luke and Y/N stare at each other, a shy smile on their faces as they let them laugh it out. It takes a little while before they actually die down. “Sure, Y/N, that looked very scripted,” Julie says, patting her best friend’s shoulder. There’s nothing left to hide now. You and Luke are very much in love with one another. Though it still feels weird to be in love with a ghost who, quite frankly, would be about twenty years older if he hadn’t died, Y/N couldn’t hide the feelings she had for this boy. There was no hiding it after that outburst they had just now. But maybe that’s for the better. 

Thanks to the help of the boys and Julie, Y/N landed the role of Veronica Sawyer in Los Feliz High’s rendition of Heathers the Musical. Not only that, Luke and Y/N have now been dating for a month now. He’s been incredibly supportive over the course of the rehearsals of the musical, and she has been supportive of the band. It’s been fun and games, so far. Making out in the loft after band rehearsals or backstage in the auditorium, singing songs together at the top of their lungs whilst dancing around her room (though her parents complained about that), and cuddling on the couch whilst going over Y/N’s lines together. Nothing ever happened to cause an argument until Luke sat in a rehearsal for the musical when they were going over the Dead Girl Walking scene. Watching his very alive girlfriend kiss another very alive boy isn’t quite the confidence boost. He lasts until halfway through the song when the guy playing JD rips Y/N’s shirt open. That’s when he just had to get out of there. Y/N couldn’t tell anyone they were dating, and if she did, no one believed her she was dating the hologram boy from Julie’s band. Which also meant boys hitting on her when she was in her Veronica costume, mostly the boy who played Jason Dean. “Having a girl on top of you makes you realize things,” he had said. Y/N told him she wasn’t interested, but that didn’t stop the boy from trying. She had told Luke that. Her first mistake. Because ever since then, he has never missed a rehearsal. Y/N knew this scene was coming up, and she had tried to tell Luke he shouldn’t come, but of course he didn’t listen. And now he’s upset with her because she had told him about her minor crush on Christian Slater -- the original JD from the movie -- and about the JD song she loved so much. He knew how sexy she thought that song was, especially when the actor sings it as raw as Jamie Muscato or Ryan McCartan did in the West End and off-Broadway version. She’s not surprised to find Luke and the boys in the studio when she gets back, their instruments in hand, but no Julie to be seen. Only the very familiar riff of a Heathers song sounding through the amps. She halts in the doorway, crossing her arms as she watches the boys. None of them has seen her yet, which gives her the rawest and most honest version of this song. “You chucked me out like I was trash, For that you should be dead— But! But! But! Then it hit me like a flash, What if high school went away instead Those assholes are the key! They're keeping you away from me! They made you blind, messed up your mind But I can set you free!” Reggie jumps around whilst playing the bass, letting himself go on the beat. Even Alex is so lost in his drumming, he doesn’t even notice the girl in the doorway. And Luke has his scowl set on the void, possibly imagining the boy’s face and wanting to punch him in the face. “You left me and I fell apart, I punched the wall and cried— Bam! Bam! Bam!” Y/N flinches at the sudden loudness of his voice. “Then I found you changed my heart and set loose all that truthful shit inside! And so I built a bomb Tonight our school is Vietnam! Let's guarantee they'll never see their senior prom!” His voice grows a little softer at the chorus, showing his more delicate side, the side Y/N has come to love so much. “I was meant to be yours! We were meant to be one! Don't give up on me now! Finish what we've begun! I was meant to be yours!” He sounds angry and frustrated during the next verse, a hint of menace laced in his voice. To his girlfriend, it sounds incredibly sexy. He suddenly seems twice as attractive. “So when the high school gym goes boom with everyone inside— Pchw! Pchw! Pchw! In the rubble of their tomb We'll plant this note explaining why they died!” She sees this as her chance to announce her presence. She quickly runs over to Julie’s microphone and starts singing along on the bridge where the ensemble would join in. Luke’s head snaps up at her, bewilderment and surprise in his eyes, along with some embarrassment. “We, the students of Westerburg High Will die. Our burnt bodies may finally get through To you. Your society churns out slaves and blanks No thanks. Signed the Students of Westerburg High 'Goodbye.'” Y/N gives him a nod of encouragement, telling him to continue. He does as he’s told with even more power behind his voice and even some amusement as a smile plays at his lips. She grabs the microphone from the stand and dances up to him. “We'll watch the smoke poor out the doors. Bring marshmallows, We'll make s'mores! We can smile and cuddle while the fire roars!” Along with Reggie and Alex, Y/N takes care of the backing vocals whilst Luke lets himself go in the song. His voice becomes more and more raspy with the second, sending shivers down his girlfriend’s spine. “I was meant to be yours! We were meant to be one! I can't make this alone! Finish what we've begun! You were meant to be mine! I am all that you need! You carved open my heart! Can't just leave me to bleed!” He turns to her as she offers him her microphone for the next bit. The fact he’s looking into her eyes doesn’t help her subdue her feelings. At all. In fact, it just increases those butterflies and shivers and curling of the toes. “Veronica, open the—open the door, please' Veronica, open the door. Veronica, can we not fight anymore' Please, can we not fight anymore' Veronica, sure, you're scared, I've been there. I can set you free! Veronica, don't make me come in there! I'm gonna count to three! One! Two! Fuck it!” She can’t detain her feelings anymore and crashes her lips onto his again, exactly like that time they rehearsed Seventeen together and they had their first kiss. Reggie and Alex exchange glances, though this time it’s with an eyeroll. Luke pulls away when he has to sing the very last bit of the song, keeping his forehead pressed to hers. His voice is back to its vulnerable side as he stares into his girlfriend’s eyes with so much regret for ever feeling so jealous of any lifer guy she’d ever interacted with. “Please don't leave me alone You were all I could trust I can't do this alone” He steps back from her to hit the last high note whilst Alex goes off on the drums one last time. “Still I will if I must!” Y/N watches her boyfriend for a moment, a tender, proud smile on her face and admiration in her eyes. Luke’s confidence when he plays his music, or any music for that matter, is so hot and attractive to Y/N. Though she loves his more vulnerable and adorable side he mostly pulls up whenever he’s with her, that rockstar side of his really is a close second. “Are you guys really gonna make out every time you sing together or…?” Reggie asks, capturing the couple’s attention. Y/N takes Luke’s hand in hers, intertwining their fingers together whilst her other hand rests on his bicep. “You would too if your boyfriend was so hot,” she answers, and presses a kiss to his bare shoulder. Luke smiles down at her before returning a kiss on her hair. “Now, if you guys don’t have anymore rehearsing to do, I’d like to take Luke to go and rehearse another scene together…” she trails off. As she looks up at her boyfriend and his eyes meet her suggestive glance, he already knows what’s up. “No, we’re done here, I think,” he says quickly, “Right, guys? Yes, yes, we are!” He rushes his girlfriend out the garage and to the house next door to the Molina’s where he helps you ‘rehearse’ the Dead Girl Walking scene.

 Taglist: @hannahhistorian92​ @marinettepotterandplagg​ @thequirkybookaholic​ @bookdealer5​ @tenaciousperfectionunknown​ @hemmingsness​ @iainttakingshitfromnobody​ @ifilwtmfc​ @angryknightstatesmantrash​ @kiss-themoongoodbye​ @parkeret​​ @lukeys-giggle​ @gingerxarmy​ @lovesanimals​ @lolychu​ @perfectlywrongformend3s​ @luckylouiebug​ @kiss-themoongoodbye​ @camiladelrio98​ @myfriendscallmebeans​

[talesofstyles]

The Law of Attraction

buckle up my little ballsacks you’re in for a treat. this is pure lawyer harry filth. honestly i’ve got no excuse.

massive massive thank you to @smokeinherperfume​ for letting me ramble about lawyer harry 24/7 and @for-fucks-sake-h​ for allllll the knife emojis FGHSHSGSGH ILY 🥺💛

p.s. all of my fics about lawyer harry are standalones so you don’t have to read them in order. but just fyi technically this one happens after Quid Pro Quo. hope you like it! xx

An orgasm crashes through YN’s body, causing her back to arch in her chair and her fingers to tug hard at the hair of the man who’s working his tongue between her legs. It’s half three on a Wednesday, and instead of skimming through stacks of her clients’ contracts trying to find loopholes or go through the first set of Interrogatories once again before she sends it to the opposing counsel later today; she’s got her former-nemesis-turned-best-friend kneeling before her chair, her skirt hiked up around her waist and her knickers haphazardly pulled to the side. She lets out a groan, which only eggs him on, and he lashes his tongue against her even harder.

“Enough,” she mutters weakly, her voice barely audible and she’s not even sure if he even heard it. She pushes his head away from her, but the stubborn sod only swats her hands away while growling and doubles up on his efforts. She can feel him shaking his head as he licks and sucks away, slipping his finger deep inside her the second she closes her eyes and proceeds to bring her to another shattering orgasm in just under two minutes.

She slaps her hand over her mouth as she reaches her high again, and Harry looks at her with a satisfied smile, before licking his shiny wet lips without breaking eye contact. The sight alone is almost enough to make her want to shove his head back to where it was half a minute ago. “Feel better?”

“Mhm,” she hums happily and Harry’s lips quirk into a gentle smirk. “Thanks.”

“My pleasure,” he replies as he stands up, before leaning over to button their lips together in a quick kiss.

“I think the pleasure’s all mine, but let’s rectify that,” she mutters as she pulls away. “What do you want? You tell me and I’ll give it to you. Do you want me to get you off slowly or do you want to fuck my mouth?”

“Fuck,” he groans in frustration. “You’re gonna kill me here. I’ve got a deposition in- shit, two minutes. I’ve got to go now. Catch ya later doll.”

She shakes her head, chuckling as she watches him rushing out of her office. “Later, shithead.”

Isn’t it just funny how the universe works sometimes? Six months ago they couldn’t even be in the same room without having a scream-whisper match, but here they are half a year later, happily handing each other orgasms like sweets on Halloween. Harry didn’t even know exactly what was bothering her today. He just sensed that she was in a real mood when he swung by her office, so instead of splitting a packet of KitKats right on the dot at three o’clock like usual, he closed the door and switched on the panel by the door so the transparent glass wall turned translucent to give them privacy, and then he went down on her without saying another word.

The perks of being friends instead of foes with Harry is that she gets to find out that Harry’s oral skills are not limited to advocacy and sarcasm. And not to mention that he’s a very generous man. Sure, it’s not a trait particularly needed in a best friend and colleague, but fuck if that’s not something that is much appreciated. At first, obviously it wasn’t easy for YN to hang the white flag above her head. Her ego was badly bruised when the firm made Harry Senior Partner instead of her in the beginning of the year, making her feel that all the long hours and the all-nighters she’d pulled were all for nothing. She felt like she gave up her social life for nothing, basically put her life on hold for nothing and gave her all to her firm for nothing. She felt unappreciated, and the easiest target to channel all her anger and frustration was Harry. Because come on, who else was she supposed to be mad at? Her boss? It’d be like being mad at Gandhi.

It definitely got much easier when she finally let the resentment go, the fact that he was the one being promoted. Especially knowing well the reason was only because he came from a bigger law firm, and that he came bearing gifts—the gifts being five huge clients from his old firm—when he came into her firm earlier this year. She’s accepted the fact that him being promoted instead of her doesn’t mean that she’s not a damn good lawyer. Hell, she’s got a hundred percent win record to prove that. It was easier to hate him when she didn’t know him, but as they began working on cases together and she got the chance to get to know him more, she knew he deserved it. 

If you ask YN, she’d most likely tell you that having a work husband surely beats having an enemy in the office. She loves having Harry as her best friend, her most trusted legal confidant when she needs to strategise on a case and well, as an occasional lover on a bad day. He is her number one ally and advisor, the person she can laugh with and be stressed with, have politically incorrect conversations with, and give her bone-deep honest opinions to. He supports her and helps her with her cases—not that she needs help because again, she’s one hell of a lawyer, but it’s surely nice to have an extra brain in the case sometimes. 

Fuck, she really does owe Harry a good one tonight for giving her a nice distraction.

A ding sound from her phone brings her back to reality. She darts her eyes at her phone for a second, and she lets out a heavy sigh when she reads the name on the screen. It’s a text to confirm the dinner meeting tonight at The Berkeley, definitely one that she can’t avoid since he’s a huge client, but more importantly, one that she dreads to meet.

You see, there’s a large part of life that we call normalcy. Eat, sleep, take a shower. Wearing underwear inside our clothes instead of outside like Batman and Superman. The sun rises in the east and sets in the west. Most people drink coffee in the morning. Thirty minutes of cardio three times a week. 

As pathetic as this may sound, pining for Luke, that said client who also happens to be her ex-boyfriend has been YN’s normalcy for the past two years. Luckily, his company is her client and not the man himself so she got away with keeping contact to a  bare minimum. Meeting him only about two to three times a year and only when it’s absolutely necessary and cannot be handled by his General Counsel. But apparently, his step-father decided to retire and pass his hotel business to him—honestly, as if he’s not bloody minted already—and he needs her now more than ever because even though he knows his way around the business world, this whole thing is a new territory for him. 

This is the second time in a week that he’s arranged a meeting and only God knows how many more meetings with him she could take. Because, as always, his presence means the absence of her sanity. And she hates it.

Welcome to YN’s fucked up life.

***

“I still don’t know why you want me to go with you,” Harry says, turning to look at her when they stop at a red light. Even though it’s dark outside, the neon-blue lights from the interior electronics cast the angles of his face handsomely.

He’s driving both himself and YN to The Berkeley where they’ll be meeting Luke for a dinner meeting to discuss his new business and his plan to merge with another hotel group. Which is an absolutely terrible idea and YN plans to talk him out of it tonight. It’s probably easier said than done though, because she knows Luke and she’s definitely familiar with how stubborn he can be. 

There are a lot of things about Luke that she still remembers. He pretends to hate those mini chocolate muffins but he actually loves them. He drinks his coffee at six thirty sharp every morning, yes, even on the weekends. He loves jogging and sometimes he wishes he’s an athlete so that he can get paid just to run and play football all day long. Even though he’s rich as sin—and God, fit as fuck too—he’s humble and definitely not flashy, so if you see him without his suits, you’d probably never guess that he doesn’t actually need to work a day in his life because he comes from old money. But Luke is different. He never touched his trust fund and he was determined to create his own business from scratch.

He’d just started his business around the same time YN started working in her firm as an associate, so she saw it right before her eyes how hard he worked during those first few years as he nurtured his business. His company was one of the first clients that she’d been assigned to work on, and when she got promoted to Junior Partner, her mentor gave her The White Company as her first official client. The timing couldn’t be more brilliant since she and Luke just broke up two days prior, but she knew there was no way she could turn down such a big business.

Fuck, she’s thinking about him again. She immediately makes a mental note in her head to ask Harry for an extra orgasm tonight to keep him out of her mind. But now she can’t help snickering at the thought because she makes it sounds as if she’s asking for extra ketchup. 

“Cat got your tongue?” He asks and she turns to look at him. He gives her a tiny smirk before his eyes get back on the road, but he reaches his hand out to her bare knee to give her a squeeze. “Still haven’t answered me, doll.”

“Sorry- what did you ask?”

“Why did you want me to go with you?” He asks again. “He wants to merge, right? That’s totally your thing. You don’t need me.”

“You helped me with his crisis a few months ago,” she reminds him. “Just thought we could do his business together again. He’ll be happy he’s getting two partners, the firm will be happy because they can charge double. It’s a win-win, really.”

“Bollocks that,” Harry laughs. “Worst bullshit I’ve ever heard.”

“That’s all, honest,” she feigns innocence.

“Honey, I didn’t go through law school for nothing, did I?” He replies without moving his head, keeping his eyes on the road. “You’re using me as a human condom, aren’t you?”

“What the hell does that even mean?” She drops her jaw in shock at the fact that he calls her out on the carpet just like that.

“You’re afraid you’ll catch feelings again if you’re left alone with him, so you bring me as a shield. Am I right?” He asks her with an accusatory eyebrow raise. “You know what, no need to answer that. Of course I’m right.”

“I told you, he’s just a client now,” she insists, trying to ignore her heart pounding in her chest as Harry’s hand inches its way up her thigh. It’s incredibly arousing, but she also finds it a little disturbing since they’re having a conversation about a man she’s head over heels for. She almost want him to stop but fuck if she’s going to ask him.

“Look, I don’t know exactly what’s going on here,” he says, and it’s really hard for her to concentrate on what he’s saying since he’s squeezing her thigh. His fingers pressing deep into her muscles and she can only wish they’re a few inches higher. “But if in any way you want to get him back, just say the word and I’ll back away, yeah?”

“There’s nothing going on, Harry,” she reassures him. “You’ve got to trust me on this. He’s just a client now.” 

“You sure?” Harry asks again. Turning to look at her briefly before he pulls into a parking space and puts the car in park, but she can tell by the tone in his voice that he doesn’t buy a single thing she’s said.

“I’m sure,” she nods reassuringly.

Harry grins as he reaches up and tweaks her on the nose. “You’re cute when you lie.”

“Shut up, shithead,” she mutters as she pulls on the door handle. It opens and she steps out, taking a moment to smooth down her dress. Leaning back down, she looks inside the car to look at Harry and give him a wink. “Now let’s go. The sooner we get this done, the sooner I can reciprocate.”

***

“You have it bad for him, don’t you?” Harry cocks an eyebrow at her accusingly, not even bothering to wait until Luke disappears past the lift to take a call.

YN blinks in surprise at his accusation, but instead of denying it for the second time tonight, she finally concedes. “Is it that obvious?”

“Holy shit,” this time, it’s Harry’s turn to look at her in surprise. He definitely wasn’t expecting her to admit it, but fuck if he believed that bullshit she told him in the car. “No, it’s not obvious. But I know you better than anyone in this room.”

She chuckles, before taking a swig of her Chardonnay. “True.”

“I meant what I said earlier in the car,” Harry reminds her. “Just say the word and I’ll back away. He’s probably still into you too.”

She just stares at him for a second. She’s obviously contemplating something, he can tell. He braces, wondering if she’ll finally tell him to back away. He has to remind himself to be cool, to just nod and smile if she actually does say that. They’re not exclusive, and as amazing as this last six months has been, he knows all good things come to an end. He has no absolute reason to be upset, he knows that. And as her best friend he only wants the best for her. If she thinks Luke can make her happy, then so be it.

He’s ready for her to tell him to back away. He does. Not saying that he’ll be happy, but he’ll accept it. So imagine his surprise when she gives him a smirk and says, “let’s go all the way tonight.”

Harry’s head shoots up, and he narrows his eyes at her. “You fucking with me?”

“I was hoping you’d be the one doing all the fucking,” she murmurs, still smiling coyly at him and somehow has the audacity to dip her eyes in a completely fake showing of shyness.

Harry’s eight-inch piece of equipment that had been jumping and twitching like an excited puppy now goes to full mast, pushing hard against his zipper. He drains the rest of his drink in one big gulp, not wanting to waste any time. “Stay here and wait for him to finish that sodding call. Make up an excuse for me and distract him while I go and try to get us a room upstairs.”

“You do realise that my flat is literally ten minutes away from here right? And your place is like, what, twenty minutes tops?”

“Upstairs is closer,” he lowers his voice huskily. “They have beds too.”

Her eyes sparkle with excitement. “Beds, huh?”

“What? Don’t fancy shaggin’ on a bed?” He says with a smirk, sitting straighter as he smooths his tie. “I’ll see if they’ve got anything with a balcony then.”

“You’re a lawyer, aren’t you?” She mocks, rolling her eyes. “Does the word indecent exposure mean anything to you?”

“Did you just roll your eyes at me?”

“I did,” she challenges him with a spark of defiance in her eyes. “And what are you gonna do about it?”

“Do that again and you’ll get the palm of my hand,” he tells her ominously.

“You’re all mouth and no trousers, Styles,” she taunts him. 

“Good luck trying to sit tomorrow.”

***

In less than fifteen minutes, YN is standing in a lift with Harry’s lips roaming her neck and his finger sinking deep inside of her.

She didn’t have to make up an excuse when Luke went back to their table after taking the call. Apparently, there was some emergency and he needed to get back to his office as soon as possible for an emergency meeting with the boards. She assured him it was fine and that they could easily arrange another meeting to further talk about his plan to merge with another hotel group.

Harry doesn’t waste much time as he pushes the button to their floor and the doors close. He stalks towards her, cupping her head to bring her mouth to his, and his other hand going directly between her legs. She slips her tongue into his mouth and touches it against his, the vibe of the kiss turning a bit dirty. It’s a thrilling turn on, causing waves of pleasure to pulse through both of them. His tongue ends up dominating hers in the most searing, sexually explosive kiss she’d ever been given.

His hand softly fondles her for a moment, and then he’s inside of her, curling his finger in a way that has her knees buckling. He immediately saves the day by pushing one of his legs in between hers to hold her steady. He knows he doesn’t have time to get her off before they reach their floor, so he breaks the kiss and roams his lips along her neck lightly, moving his finger in and out of her leisurely but so very deeply. Her hips flex against him, trying to demand more, but she’s just going to have to wait.

When the lift starts to slow near their floor, he calmly removes his hand, smoothes her dress down, and gives her a light kiss on the nose.

He’s smiling at her as he closes the door behind them, in a completely relaxed, but thank fuck we’re finally doing this and I’m here to fuck you senseless kind of way, and it manages to show the two dimples he sports on either side of his full lips.

Their lips meet again as he leans in, softly at first, just a taste to whet the appetite. His arms tighten around her, and he increases the pressure, urging her to open up and let him in. He’s a force to be reckoned with in a courtroom, and fuck if she’s not thanking her lucky stars that he’s just the same in the bedroom. He moves his lips against hers, making delicious little thrusts and flicks with his tongue, teasing and tantalising, all while stroking her back in the most incredibly sensual way that makes her tingling from head to toe. 

He loves how she just melts against him when he rubs her back, and how adorably dazed she looks just from a kiss. Grinning at her, he reaches a finger out to tuck a lock of her hair behind her ear. The blood in his dick thumps, eagerly demanding to move things along, but he’s determined to take his time with her. 

Her mouth waters as her hands work at his belt buckle. His cock is thick and hard when she pulls him free of his boxer briefs, and she drops to her knees with her hand wrapped around his girth. It’s standing straight up before her after she releases it for a second, and she melts at the sight. There’s one perfectly thick vein running straight up the middle, but then it veers off at an angle. And although this is certainly not the first time she sees it, she can’t help but cock her head to the side just to see where it goes. 

He palms the side of her head with one hand and holds her hair in a ponytail at the back of her head with the other. Looking up at him, she can see his jaw is locked tight and his chest is rising and falling rapidly.

She squeezes him hard, just the way she knows how he likes, and strokes up and down a few times, making him groan. His head falls back, eyes squeezed shut. “Please, sweetheart.”

“Ssh,” she shushes him before she murmurs low in her throat. “I’ve got you.”

She finally opens her mouth, bares her teeth slightly, and then scrapes them lightly over the tip. A long, deep groan rumbles out of him, his eyes remain shut tight. Exhilaration and victory swells within her, knowing that just that one tiny touch reduced him to utter helplessness. 

He opens his eyes, gazing at her. His voice is thickened and gruff when he says, “you’ve got no idea how beautiful you look while on your knees before me.”

She responds to him by leaning in, and without hesitation taking the tip of him into her mouth, making him groan in relief. He grips her lightly, his fingers pressing into her scalp as a means of holding her steady and not to force action. She licks and sucks, squeezing and stroking him with her hand. He’s watching her from above with lust on his face, and she’s savouring every little groan she drags out of this normally stoic man. She flutters her tongue on the sensitive underside just below the head of his cock, her hand gently squeezing his balls as she works his shaft. 

“Been dying to get that cherry lipstick on my cock,” he mutters softly, she can barely hear him. He grits his teeth as he slowly pulls out of her mouth. “Knew that red lipstick would look good on me.”

Her eyes slide to his cock, and she has no clue what her mouth looks like, but she’s absolutely sure most of her lipstick is gone since it’s smeared beautifully along the length of his shaft. She tries to take it back into her mouth, determined to bring him into completion that way, but his hand immediately covers her, holding her still while his eyes pin her in place. “Wanna be inside you.”

He helps her stand on her feet, and the next thing she knows, her dress pools around her ankle. His hands come to the back of her bra, flicking it open and pulling it from her. Then he drops to his knees before her. Fingers going under her knickers, he pulls them down just enough to gain access and runs his tongue up her centre. 

He had fantasised about her naked before him more times than he could probably admit that he has to blink twice to convince himself that this time is real. And fuck if it isn’t much better than his dreams.

“Bed,” he commands, and she crawls on it with the intent to lay in a sexy pose as she turns over to face him, but he’s on the bed with her, quick as lightning, and flips her to her back.

Her eyes go up to find him staring at her tits, and she can’t help but joke. “They don’t bite, you know.”

His gaze comes up to meet hers, and his lips curve slightly. “But I do. It’s probably going to hurt a little.”

A shudder ripples through her, and her nipples harden. His eyes flick back down to her breasts. She swallows hard at the anticipation, the thought of him getting a little rough with them is thrilling, but there’s something else she wants more right now.

“I’m fucking dying to be inside you right now,” he whispers in her ear. His admission elicits a deep moan to escape from her lips. “Last chance to change your mind, doll.”

“Please just fuck me already,” she whimpers, her hands roaming his body. Every glide of her fingers over his skin fills him with a fullness he’s never experienced before. “I’m losing my mind.”

With one hand pressed into the mattress, Harry uses the other to take his cock in hand. He dips his hips, pressing the tip right into her entrance. Blowing out a breath, he brings his eyes to hers and holds her captive, finally thrusts deeply into her. She screams, not in pain but in pure fucking ecstasy, as he fills her up. Harry bottoms out, his pelvis pressed hard into hers. 

Baring his teeth, he mutters, “fuck… that feels good.”

“Would feel better if you move,” she suggests with a smirk.

Harry stays completely still inside of her. He breathes in deeply, closes his eyes for a moment, and when he opens them up again, he gives her a sheepish grin. “I’m afraid to move. Afraid I might embarrass myself and blow my load in about two nanoseconds.”

She lets out a giggle, pretty sure that’s the one and only time in her life she’s ever done something so girly. Harry laughs huskily and kisses her hard. He doesn’t move an inch from his waist down but just kisses her deeply with thorough possession. When he pulls away, he tentatively circles his hips, grinding into her.

“Fuck,” Harry mutters, and drops his forehead to hers. “Yeah… definitely not gonna last long.”

Her hands go into his hair and she massages his scalp, incredibly touched and turned on over his reaction to her. She tugs on his hair, pulling his face away from hers. “Harry?”

He moves reluctantly and looks down at her with that same abashed look. She tilts her hips, clenches her internal muscles around his cock, and then rubs her thumbs into his scalp.

“Let go,” she commands him softly. “Fuck me hard and come as fast as you want. We’ve got all night.”

***

Harry’s hand reaches out, tapping the screen on his phone to turn the alarm off, laying silently in the predawn gloom pondering about his situation at this very moment.

There’s a naked, beautiful woman on top of him, and fuck if he can remember when was the last time he woke up with someone else in his bed. It’s not that he’s averse to cuddles; if the woman wants a cuddle with him after sex, he’d give it to them. The act of intimacy like that doesn’t scare him whatsoever. But normally he’d be out of their hair long before the sun is up, leaving them to wake up alone and him to start his day as if the night before didn’t happen.

He always tells himself to forget whoever he shags the night before no matter how great of a fuck she was, although he’ll allow himself to bring forth the memories when he jerks off if needed. 

YN fell asleep a few hours prior, spread-eagled over his body right after she collapsed from the most recent fuck-fest. She came, he came, then she fell forwards onto his chest and was out like a light. And he left her right there all night. Letting her lie on top of him, calling it a day well completed and went to sleep himself.

His hand slides down from her stomach right between her legs, his fingers swiping through her folds which become slicker with desire the more he plays. She softly moans in her sleep and her lower body starts to squirm. Her breathing hitches, and the second she cracks her eyes open, she gives him that happy, sleepy, please fuck me again smile. 

He gently eases her down from the top of his chest to lay beside him, rolling her to the side so her back is facing him. Then he pushes her outer leg up, sliding his body down just a little bit, angling his cock to slip into her from behind. 

Harry moves slowly as he’s spooned around her and she moans in pure bliss as he fills her up. The arm that her head is resting on comes up to curve across her chest and hold her tight. His other hand grips the back of her thigh firmly to pin her in place.

“More,” she whispers on a forced exhalation. 

“Fuck me,” he mumbles against her hair. “My girl wants more.”

And he gives her more. Fucking her exquisitely and with no doubt that neither of them has ever had it that good. He takes her higher and higher, the sweet words that he’s whispering in her ear is the complete opposite of the kinky shit they did last night. 

“Balcony?”

YN didn’t hesitate, following right behind him as he pushed the doors open. A light breeze filters in but it’s still muggy outside. They’re on the seventh floor, and they can still hear the rumble of engines and the honking of horns below them. The quiet darkness of Belgravia stretches out beyond.

Harry walked up to the edge of the balcony, which was made of stone and concrete, sitting about three and a half feet high. He pulled her into his arms and gave her a searing kiss. She moaned, slipping her tongue in his mouth and gripped onto his shoulders. The kiss was deep and wet, and honestly, the best kind of kiss.

He pushed her up against the wall, laying a palm over one breast. Squeezing, plumping, testing the weight in his hand. He rubbed a thumbnail over her nipple, eliciting the softest sigh from her. 

He brought his other hand south. Straight shot, right to her centre. Her head dropped to his shoulder as his fingertips continued to circle and rub against her. Within minutes she had his fingers deep inside her and his thumb working her hard. He wanted nothing more than to just line up and push his way in, but he waited. He waited until he saw her trembling became a little fiercer, her body tensed, and when she sucked in a large gulp of air, he knew that was his cue.

He quickly removed his fingers, bracing his hands on her hips and slammed forward. She took him all the way in and he cursed under his breath as he felt her spasm all around him when she came. For a second he thought about hitting it hard, chasing another orgasm, but then he decided against it, wanting to relish the scenery and listen to the sounds of the city.

“Let’s just quit our jobs and fuck all day,” Harry jokes as he drops her leg back down into place.

“Sounds good to me,” she laughs as she reaches around him, grabbing the complimentary bottle of water on the nightstand, taking a sip before she hands it to him and he finishes it in a couple of long swallows. 

“Thirsty?”

“Starving too,” he replies in a way that doesn’t make her think he wants some bacon and eggs. 

Within seconds, he has her on her back again as he slides down her body, roughly pushing her legs apart. Her hands shoot out, grabbing the sides of his head before he gets the chance to descend even lower. “No.”

“What?”

“Let me get cleaned up first,” she says lamely, pretty sure she’s killed the mood. “I mean… I’m filled with-”

Harry ignores her, cutting her off by dropping his mouth right between her legs and begins sucking. She shrieks from the warm contact, surprised by how sensitive she is, and as he lifts his gaze to hers, he murmurs. “That’s you and me together, and we taste fucking delicious.”

Her body trembles from his words, and through a dry and parched throat she croaks, “then by all means.”

“Thank you,” he says with a wink, then proceeds to bring her to another shattering orgasm that totally wrecks her.

[cozyenigma]

Noise Complaint

Pairing- Wilford/Reader

Word Count- 1,065

Request?- Yes!

Summary- You’d been having some problems with your neighbor recently. Unfortunately for you (and your neighbor), Wilford has a rather straightforward method of conflict resolution.

Tag list- @cookielover0001010​

The day should've gone like any other. You would've woken up, gone to work, and come back without incident. During the night you'd toss and turn as your neighbor blared music as high as he could get it. Eventually you'd fall asleep if you were lucky. Rinse and repeat for the rest of the week.

Tonight it didn't.

You sighed, staring up at the ceiling. Your neighbor must be really pissed if the music selection was anything to go by. Banging on the wall didn't work so you'd finally went over and asked him to keep it down the night before. He had seemed annoyed but said sure at the time.

Tonight you could’ve sworn your apartment was vibrating with the beat.

Just when you were about to give up on sleep entirely, the music suddenly stopped. You blinked, craning your head up. Vaguely you could hear you neighbor yelling through the wall and figured someone else must've gone to complain.

You had just started to reach for your phone when a loud bang rang out. Frozen, the next thing you heard was two more shots. You were out of bed in a second, clenching your phone so hard your hand hurt. The silence that followed was suffocating. Precious little clues about what was happening just on the other side of the wall from you.

"Hey gumdrop!"

While you weren’t proud of the shriek you let out you figured you were allowed one. Your phone slipped from your fingers. Luckily it was saved from hitting the floor by Wilford, grinning widely at you.

"Holy shit," you let out in a rush, "you scared the hell out of me, Wil."

"Aw but I couldn't stay away from my favourite person," he said cheerfully, stepping closer to give you a kiss on the cheek.

You were about to tell him now wasn't the best time considering what had just happened. You were about to ask for your phone back so you could call someone. But those were forgotten when you got a better look at the man. Speckled across his face and shirt like freckles were little red spots. Too small to notice on first glance but now that's all you could see.

Something heavy settled in your stomach. You stepped away from him, much to Wil's disappointment.

"Wilford," you asked carefully, "what were you doing before you came over here?"

He blinked, pout temporarily forgotten and grinned. "Well, I figured since I forgot about valentine's and all that, I'd make it up to ya!"

You nodded slowly and he put his hands on his hips, puffing out his chest. "So I took care of the ole noisy neighbor problem!"

Taking in a breath, you asked what he meant even though you already knew.

Wilford wiggled his eyebrows, holding up a pistol. "Not gonna make a peep anytime soon, doll!"

A beat passed as you stared at the gun, the weight in your gut curdling into something else. The next moment you were pushing past him. Ignoring his calls, you half ran out of your apartment.

Your neighbor's door was ajar. You pushed it open and stumbled back at the sight before you, covering your mouth in horror. Sprawled across the floor was your neighbor, face frozen in a look of abject terror. Lying there in a growing pool of red it was clear Wilford was right. He wasn't going to be making a sound.

"You alright, sweetheart?"

Wilford made you jump again, his face the perfect example of innocent concern. The look was ruined with the specks of blood still on his face in your humble opinion though.

"Oh my God," you said. For a moment that was all you managed to say. "Wilford what the fuck."

"What?" He shrugged. "I was just tryin to help. Ya had a problem and I fixed it!"

"You shot him!" Your voice had pitched up as you pointed to the body.

"And the radio!" He pointed towards the rather impressive stereo system set near the wall your neighbor shared with your apartment. Two neat holes were punched into the display.

"Wilford he was just- you can't just-" you ran a hand down your face. "We're going to end up in jail."

Wilford scoffed, waving a hand. Whatever he was about the say though was drowned out by a scream behind you. You spun around to see your landlord standing in the hall behind you with a perfect view of your poor neighbor. And you and Wilford. And especially Wilford who was still holding the gun.

Before you could think of an explanation she was running for her life back down the hallway. Wilford winced.

"Whoops," he said like he just spilled a drink.

"Wilford!" You rounded on him and watched his eyes widen. "Why would you do this? If you wanted to help you could've talked to him or- or something! Now we're going to get arrested and-"

He shushed you gently, putting a finger to your lips. "Nobody's gettin' arrested, least of all you and me!" Wilford grabbed you by the hand and you're suddenly back in your apartment with a pink poof of glitter. "New idea, I take you out on a road trip!"

You barely caught the bag he tossed at you, looking up in disbelief. "You want me to go on the run with you?!”

"You say that like it's hard!" He grinned. "I used to do it all the time, it'll be fun!"

"Wilford," you tossed the bag aside, beginning to pace back and forth, "I can't just pick up and run off! I have a life here and friends and a job-"

He cut you off with a kiss that you pulled away from. When he gave you a reassuring look you hated it viciously for just a moment. His hands were on your shoulders and he said, "It'll be alright, I won't let anything happen to ya."

In the end it was the sirens outside that made the decision for you. Silently, you threw some things into the bag he gave you, Wilford watching and being uncharacteristically quiet. When you zipped it shut he was there. Holding out a hand to you with a familiar smile and a shirt with little blood stains, he still looked the same.

You weren't sure how to feel about that but you took his hand anyways.

[randomshipshere]

MY OWN JGY headcanons:

JGY is the sole reason in all canon universes that JZX and JYL ever had a chance in getting together because of how much of a disaster JZX is. It's the very reason that JZX would come to refer to JGY as "A-Yao".

JYL and JGY were secret best friends because the Cultivation World wouldn't understand their friendship. They often teased each others disaster of a brother together, and in disguise would shop together. After her death, he harbored the blame and never forgave himself since.

JGY was actually born a whole two years before JZX was born but everyone literally assumed he was the younger brother because of his height and his flawless youthful skin. JGY doesn't correct anyone because of the complications it would have on the family line and honestly he gets a kick out of looking younger. (It's a brothel-learned thing.)

JGY actually has a strong Yunmeng accent that comes out when he's relaxed and irritated. The only few people in existence who heard him with that accent beyond childhood is Sisi, JYL, JC, JZX, Xue Yang, Su She and Mo Xuanyu. Each of them having different hilarious reactions. JC is the top contender because JGY doesn't speak like the men of Yumeng. He speaks like the women just as Sisi taught him, and you do not mess with the women of the piers.

In a modern reincarnated world, everyone hears that accent and the most horrified is WWX when JGY blasts at JC, making the former sect leader feel grateful he didn't go full Yunmeng woman on him at the temple, otherwise he'd be jumping into that coffin instead of him! And when he orders JC to "SIT YUR ASS DOWN YA DEFORMED-LOOKING LOTUS SEED REJECT, THAT EVEN A DYING HARLOT WOULDN'T EVEN SUCK ON!" WWX and JZX automatically sit down, too.

JGY identifies as androgynous, more specifically neutradrogyne so he (fine with any pronoun) isn't fixed on looking masculine or feminine, but will utilize society's view on gender to his advantage.

JGY didn't have a strong cultivation which held him back from being on the top 10 most handsome cultivators. But if he was, he wouldn't have made it anyway because he looked more 'Pretty' than 'Handsome' or as the female cultivators would put it, 'A Tragic Ambiguous Beauty', so they refer to him as the Special Exception.

JGY actually hates the color Yellow and gold (I don't take criticism) for how flashy and gaudy it can look. This being why he wears a lot of brown in order to neutralize the color. He actually very much prefers the Jiang's color purple. This being the reason why Su She's uniforms consist of both white and purple.

Unpopular opinion: JGY actually likes Su She a lot. Beyond the Lan Wangji hate, Su She is actually very humble, honest, compassionate, disciplined, loyal, etc. Su She learned these virtues from the Lan sect but had truly come to value these virtues throughout the war when he did the grunge work of helping citizens and the injured. It is also the time when he truly sees the flaws in the Lan sect for its detachment and so-called purity. In fact, his sect is made of a mixture of disciples and civilians without a home, so the Su sect isn't just a copy of the Lan sect but of other sects. But the copying of the Lan sect gets the most publicity so that is very much ignored. Of course Su She has his flaws where he has low self-esteem despite all he's accomplished and it fluctuates between having a superiority complex to self-sacrifice.

JGY always intended on murdering his father after WWX died because he didn't want another Wen Ruohan to rule the world, but he never had the courage to because he knew that even if he ran away, Nie Mingjue would hunt him down, possibly with the Cultivation World at his backing, to bring him to justice.

JGY knew from the start that NHS was gunning for him after his brother's death since he always made sure he knew where Nie Mingjue's body parts were. He just never expected for NHS to use LXC in the end for his vengeance, believing NHS would sympathize with LXC as a victim to his crime. He played the unknowing victim to NHS' vengeance and trapped himself with his brother so that NHS would continue to never have peace for a hundred years. (I think NHS intended for JGY to simply die by his brother's hand in order to find enlightenment but nope lol.)

JGY's work station is very organized, but if one were to look through it, they would find NOTHING in its intended places because JGY doesn't organize by dates, names or events. No. He organizes his work by how he feels. Like each section is organized by moods such as 'These old people I tolerate', 'the people I like', 'the people I love', 'these special facts and events that I would look back on when I'm bored', 'Papers that look important but it's really just to look like I'm working while secretly planning my perfect date or murder or both', and there's that very special section that is just 'BITCH'.

JGY, XY, MXY and SMS all have specific taste preferences. XY craves sweets. MXY loves sour. SMS has salt as his guilty pleasure. JGY is a freak who loves bitter food: Dark chocolate, Ginger, Alcohol, bitter melon, tea. That's because Meng Shi wanted him to remain as healthy as possible so a lot of MY's food growing up were very bitter.