#yeah gai is a fuckin mess

[chancellorxofxtrash]

y'all were lying to me on tumblr dot com, zero one is good actually

[skylarsblue]

✦I have more C.o.D Quotes✦

Gaz: How’s your head? Y/N: Well, I haven’t had any complaints yet. Gaz: …excuse me? Y/N: Oh uh, I think I’ll live-

-- (Somewhere in Greece with a fuck ton of cats) Ghost, watching Price sneeze every five seconds: What a catastrophe. Gaz: No. Y/N: PFFT- Soap: Stop, no, don’t encourage him. Y/N: Ahem! Right, right. Not funny. Ghost: I am purrfectly capable of being funny. Y/N: *struggling* Gaz: Sometimes I wish you didn’t have a mouth.

-- Just a scene of Y/N taking out a bottle of whiskey, unscrewing they cap, then putting one of those lid caps on. (Like the ones you have on those fancy Gatorades) Taking a huge swig and closing the cap on it as Soap watches in amusement, & Price in fear.

-- Ghost: Quit messing with my hand. Soap: Quit messing with my hair! Y/N: Quit being gay. Gaz: PFFFT Y/N: Both problems solved.

-- Y/N, on the comms: You have thirteen seconds before the building fucking explodes you hot topic wannabe- Ghost: … Y/N: And you green gumball son of a bitch. Gaz: Wha-?! Soap: *WHEEZE* Y/N: You have done nothing but ruin my life; I hope you both die.

-- Soap, Gaz, & Y/N: *cackling* Laswell, losing at poker: I miss my wife, Price. Price: *places down cards* Laswell: I miss my wife.

-- Ghost, overstimulated & a lil drunk: AHHHHHH MY BONES Y/N: *frantically getting headphones* Soap, drunk: *wheeze* Gaz: Ah. I know I should’ve- *dies coughing* Soap: *more wheezing*

-- Graves *kicks in door* WHO POSTED MY NUDES ON TWITTER DOT COM?! Y/N: SUCK IT, BITCH BOY!! Alejandro: *aggressively slapping his leg while silently laughing* Rudy: *pointing and laughing* Valeria, in handcuffs: Ha, dumbass.

-- Graves: Bitch, you are gonna get in this car or I’m popping between ya eyes! Valeria: Hey, I know you. I saw your dick on Twitter! Graves: NOOOOOO Y/N: AHAHA!

-- Graves: C’mon Johnn- Y/N: *chucks a rock at Graves’ head* Graves: OW, WHY?! Y/N: NO JOHNNY FOR YOU! He goes by Soap and we respect that! Graves: Ghost calls him that! Y/N: CAUSE GHOST HAS PERMISSION, you EARN the right to Johnny! And I will be damned if anyone else earns the right before me. I been working my ass off to get the Johnny privilege and you will NOT get it for free! Soap, who’s just been standing there the whole time: *leans to Gaz* Have they actually been taking it that seriously? Gaz: Yeah. They’ve also been working real hard to try and get the right to call Captain “John”. Shoulda seen their face when I said they can call me Kyle. Soap: That’s…really sweet, I’ll give’em permission later. Gaz: Why not now? Soap: I wanna see that bastard get chewed out some more.

-- Y/N, perched on Price’s desk: Captain. Price: *sigh* Y/N: Captain I crave violence.

-- Ghost: Your family line deserves to die with you, only shame it didn’t end before you. Graves: ….I just sat down!

-- Y/N: You’re like…the human incarnation of crumbs in the bed. Graves: Oh c’MON THAT’S REAL MEAN Ghost: It’s true though. Y/N: The kinda crumbs that you keep swiping away but somehow they never leave- Graves: Alright! You know what- Soap: Like getting in bed after going to the beach. Gaz: Sand in the bed, yeah. Feels like that when he talks. Graves: I’M JUST GONNA FUCKIN LEAVE! Y/N: *watches him go* Annnd now the sheets have been changed. Ghost: Clean from filth. Alejandro: You all are so cruel and it’s perhaps the funniest thing I’ve ever seen.

-- Gaz: Things Gucci with you? Y/N: It’s Goodwill at best, my guy. Price: I don’t know what this means but I feel like I should be concerned.

-- (Mild NSFW Jokie Time) Gaz: You alright? You been zoned out. Y/N: Hm? Nah I’m good, just having depraved thoughts. Gaz: Depraved, you say? Soap: Oh do tell. Y/N: You just…you ever see someone and think “they have pretty eyes”. And that’s normal. But then the little devil in the back of ya skull goes “yeah they’d look good rolled back”. Or am I just a whore? Gaz: That is depraved. Soap: Got a good point though.

-- Y/N: Ooo! Look! Old pictures of Captain, this one’s dated. You would’ve been…19 in this one. Lemme s-…… Gaz: Lemme see! ….. Price: What? Y/N: …..you were a whore, weren’t you captain? Gaz: That’s the face of an arrogant bastard who fucks regularly. Price: I…might’ve been a bit of a playboy. Y/N: And I would’ve fallen for it you god damn bastard, no ones fACE SHOULD BE THAT NICE!

-- Valeria, painting her nails: I might kill my ex, not the best idea. His new girlfriend’s next- Alejandro: ….. Rudy: ….should I be worried? Alejandro: Move away quietly and pray.

-- Ghost: For the record this is self destructive. Soap, chugging his 5th energy drink in the past hour: For the record, I’m aware of that.

-- MILF!Y/N: Boys. Bed, now. I wanna talk to your captain. Price: No, boys stay. Please stay- Y/N: Go. Price: Stay. The boys: *concern, panic, perhaps a bit of fear* Y/N: Go! Price: Stay! Y/N: You go! Soap: *speed walking* Price: Soap, stay! Y/N: NOW! Gaz: *slowly backing away* Price: Gaz, don’t move! Y/N: YOU GO! Price: SIMON- Ghost: *leaving*

-- Ghost: What was Plan A? Soap: …don’t fuck up. Ghost: And what was Plan B? Gaz: Don’t fuck up Plan A. Ghost: And what did you do? Y/N: …fucked up plan a- Ghost: YOU FUCKED UP PLAN A-

-- Ghost: What’s rule number one? Soap, with dynamite: Party! Ghost: NO! No, not party! No!

-- Graves: How about after this, we get a drink? Y/N: …I would rather gouge out my eyes and blindly navigate a way to turn them into earrings than ever be anywhere alone with you. Soap, grinning: Ooooo brutal! Ghost: Karma.

-- Ghost: Wait…Johnny’s into me? Like…he LIKES me?? Gaz: Oh Si…you poor, sad, dense mother fucker.

-- Ghost: At least nothing of importance was lost. Laswell: …Graves was kidnapped. Ghost: I know. I said what I said. Y/N: Nothing of value was lost but we did shed off some trash! Ghost: Precisely.

-- Ghost: These lights make me wanna pull my eyes out and eat them. Medic!Y/N: *turns lights off in favor of a lamp* …alright, so you’re autistic, good to know.

-- Ghost: Should I get my reading glasses? Y/N: Oh no no, this isn’t an eye test. It’s a GAY test. Now tell me, *holds up picture of Farah & Graves; Price being 1* Number one, or number two? Ghost: Number one?… Y/N: Interesting. *holds up Farah & Soap, Soap being 2* Okay now number one, or number two? Ghost: *gasp* Y/N: Number two, right? Ghost: Maybe I am gay?

-- Waitress: So, I’ve gotta ask, I’m really curious. 141: ? Waitress: Have any of you ever used like…the military language in bed? Soap: Naaaah. Y/N: No, I don’t- PFFFT, I- *wheeze* I’m sorry I’m imagining it- Gaz: *biting back laughs* Y/N: “You gonna come?” Affirmative. *laughs* Soap: *WHEEZE* Gaz: *cackling* Price: Oh lord- Gaz, snickering: Picking up speed. Y/N: COPY- *Laughter x100* The entire team: *giggling like hyenas* Ghost: Uh, that’s a no. I don’t think we’ve done that.

-- Price: *smiles at Soap & Gaz being stupid* Y/N: I like when you smile. Price: …huh? Y/N: Your smile, I like it. Makes your eyes crinkle up and your beard makes you look like a cuddly bear. You should smile more. Price, internally on the verge of tears: *fond sigh* Get back to drills, soldier. Y/N: Yes sir!

-- Ghost: *minding his fucking business* Y/N: You have pretty eyes. Ghost: *chokes on air* Pardon? Y/N: You have pretty eyes. Ghost: No I-…they’re just brown. Y/N: So? Your eyes don’t have to be blue or green to be pretty. They’re pretty because they’re expressive, and when the sun hits them they look like syrup. I like’em best when we’re all at a bar. They get brighter then. Ghost: Ghost: …stop talking, sergeant. Y/N: Copy that, L.T! <3

-- Gaz: *laughing at something on his phone* Y/N: You have a great laugh. Gaz: Hm? Oh…really? Y/N: Mhm. It’s cute, comes from your chest. I’ve never heard you laugh in anyway that’s not genuine. Really fills the room with joy. Gaz: Dude, you’re gonna make me all soft with words like that. Y/N: All according to plan!

-- Soap: *rambling about something* Y/N: *listening intently* Soap: Then-…ah, I been talkin’ at you this whole time, eh? Should probably quiet down. Y/N: No no, I like your voice! Soap: Eh? Y/N: It’s super energetic and loud, and when you tell a joke or talk about something you love, it’s like you can hear your smile. It’s really fun to listen to. I like when you talk! Soap: *inhale* You’re gonna make me cry- Y/N: I have tissues!

-- König: *fidgeting* Y/N: *takes his hands* You have beautiful hands. König: Wh- Huh?? No they are not. Y/N: They are too! König: Nien, they’re rough and calloused, they break a lot of things… Y/N: They also pet stray cats, make the best coffee on base, and create crotchet works of art. They also mend wounds pretty well. Yeah they fire guns but that doesn’t make them less beautiful. König: *he’s actually crying* …Danke. Y/N: Don’t mention it!

-- Rudy: *rolling his shoulder* Y/N: Anyone ever tell you that you have great shoulders? Rudy: Hm? Oh uh…no, I don’t believe so. Y/N: Well you do! Rudy: Ah, gracias. When I was younger I wanted them to be broader, sometimes now I wish they were more narrow. Can never really be happy with’em, you know? Y/N: Well I think you should be. They’re strong! *gently pats his shoulders* They hold a lot of weight, metaphorically and physically. And even when they’re weighed down, you shoulder it and keep moving. You’re real good at that! I like your shoulders. Rudy, prepared to die for them: …gracias. Y/N: No problem! Now c’mon, the guys are waitin’ for us!

-- Y/N: You have good collarbones. Alejandro: What was that? Y/N: Sorry, I know that’s real specific, but I think your collarbones are pretty. It’s like…the rest of you is bulky and strong, rugged. Then you have these delicate bones. I’m probably being too poetic but it’s like a subtle nod to your gentler side, just, built into your body. Alejandro: …you have a lovely way with words, camarada. Y/N: Thank you! I appreciate that!!

[archangeldyke-all]

I am. That- amab sev ceo request😳fucking hell 👀

Would you…possibly … feel comfortable ……………. Telling us abot that first ✨dicking down✨ as you called it - in sev‘s office?

Just thinking about sev getting hard against reader is….fuck

heheehehe i'd be happy to ;)

men and minors dni

you've got your legs sprawled over sevika's lap, both of you sitting on the couch. it's been hours, and at this point, you're doing more gossiping than work.

"y'know chloe and seamus are fucking?" you ask. sevika chokes on her sip of whiskey.

"i thought seamus was gay!" she coughs out. you laugh and sit up to pound her back.

"so did i." you admit. sevika laughs. "it's gonna be a mess when they break up." you say.

"maybe they won't." sevika says with a shrug. you laugh.

"you don't believe that." you say. sevika giggles guiltily.

"no, i don't." she admits. "well, what about you, are you hookin' up with anyone in the office?" sevika asks. you laugh and roll your eyes, flopping back down on your back on the couch.

"i fuckin' wish." you sigh at the ceiling. sevika hums.

"yeah? you gotta crush on someone?" she asks. you bite your lip. you do have a crush on someone in the office, that someone being the woman you're currently draped across, your boss, and your best friend. the worst part is that sevika already knows this. she's caught you staring one too many times for it to be platonic, she's constantly making you trip over your words, and behind closed doors, she's always got her hands on you. you glare at her and she giggles. "what?" she asks. you roll your eyes and kick her thigh.

"you know what, asshole." you mumble. sevika snickers.

"you're lucky you're cute, you know, otherwise i'd fire you for that kinda language." she teases. you huff.

"please, you'd be miserable without me." you say. sevika smiles because she knows you're right, her thumb drawing circles around your ankles.

you guys have been dancing around each other for weeks now. sevika's no more subtle than you are, biting her lip when she looks at you, fucking you with her eyes from across the room. (sometimes you catch her subtly shifting in her seat or holding her briefcase over her crotch, adjusting the slight bulge in her pants. you get dizzy each time.) you're both hesitant to act on the mutual attraction simmering between the two of you, with sevika being your boss. but tonight, you think something might be changing. especially with the way sevika's hand is slowly, slowly working up your leg.

"i would be." sevika says. "you're like the best thing about this place, y'know." she says. you smile.

"sounds like you got a bit of an office crush, sev." you tease her. she grins.

"what if i do?" she asks. her hand's on your knee now, tracing circles over your dress slacks. you bite your lip.

"well, i'd say buy her dinner, but you already did that." you say, gesturing to the open cartons of chinese food on the table beside you. sevika chuckles.

"so what should i do now?" she asks.

"depends." you say. sevika smirks.

"on what?"

"...what're your thoughts on office sex?" you ask, blinking your eyelashes flirtatiously.

five minutes later, sevika's got you pinned to her desk, your pants and underwear around your ankles as she fucks your squelching cunt with three fingers. your thighs are shaking, and you're drooling down onto the paperwork below you. sevika's still clothed, rutting her hard cock against your thigh. she's big, hence her three fingers.

"f-fuck i'm ready!" you whine. sevika chuckles.

"no you're not. still so fuckin' tight. don't wanna hurt you, baby." she grunts. you shiver.

"sevika!" you demand. "c'mon please! i wanna cum on your cock." you whine. sevika shudders behind you, smacking your ass with her free hand.

"fuck, y' can't just say shit like that!" she whines. you grin and arch your back, pressing your ass against her trapped cock. she groans. "asshole!" she curses you. you giggle.

"i've seen the way you look at me." you whisper against her desk. "i know you've been wantin' me. waiting for this. how many times'd you think about this, huh baby?" you ask. sevika sucks in a harsh breath behind you.

"too many to count." she whispers. you grin.

"so take those fuckin' pants off and show me what you've been wanting to do to me already."

sevika smacks your ass again and pulls her fingers out of your cunt. you miss the stretch, but you don't whine, especially not when you hear the clinking of her belt coming undone.

when her cock springs free, it smacks your ass. you groan. you haven't gotten a good look at it, but you can feel it, heavy and thick and throbbing against you. sevika's slowly grinding against you, making sweet little huffs with each thrust. you shake your ass against her.

"fuck me, sev." you demand. sevika hums, gently sliding the head of her cock through your folds. you nearly pass out when she bumps your clit.

"you're so fuckin' wet-- i wasn't the only one thinkin' about this, was i baby?" she asks. you smile against her desk.

"been thinkin' 'bout this since our second interview." you admit. sevika chuckles as she gently guides her cock inside you. you shiver as her head breaches you. she's fucking thick, and she was probably right that you weren't ready, but you've had four or five glasses of whiskey and you're so turned on you're going to pass out and sevika's whimpering behind you, so you don't really give a fuck.

"shit i'm not gonna last." she whispers as she slowly inches inside of you. you hum happily.

"'s long as 'y cum inside me i'll be happy." you tease. sevika shudders.

"fuck off!" she groans as she smacks your ass again. you laugh.

"no? 'y don't wanna fill me up? watch it drip back outta me? get me knocked up?" you tease her. sevika's grip on your hips is bruising, and you'd bet your life savings she's got her face scrunched up with her lip between her teeth.

"i'm tryna take it slow, shut the fuck up!" she grunts. you laugh.

"we can do slow some other time. tomorrow. or tonight, when you take me home after this."

"oh, 's that's what's happening?" she asks. you smile and nod.

"better be." you say. she chuckles as her hips meet your ass, her cock buried deep inside of you. she leans down to kiss your neck.

"course it is." she whispers. you grin, and sevika kisses your cheek, before she stands back up and starts fucking you with brutal, fast thrusts. you scream.

"fuck! yes, yes yes, just like that, sev, fuck!" you wail.

behind you, sevika's grunting with each snap of her hips. her cock's rubbing against your g-spot, and you know you're dripping around her from the disgusting wet sounds your cunt's making. you're grateful that she's pinned you to her desk, because your knees are jelly and you'd have collapsed onto the floor without the support of the oak slab beneath you.

"you feel so fucking good, holy shit." sevika moans. you gasp at her words. "fuck, please tell me you're close." she whimpers. you would laugh at the desperate tone of her voice if you weren't so busy moaning.

"s-so close." you whimper. sevika snakes one of her hands around you to start rubbing at your clit and you jolt beneath her. "oh shit sev, i'm gonna--"

"yeah, c'mon. on my cock baby, we can cum at the same time." she says, her voice shaky. your eyes roll back into your skull.

"sev, sev, sev, oh fuck, sevika, just like that, fuckin' love you, shit!" you gasp as sevika collapses on top of you, her cock filling you up with spurt after spurt of her hot cum. sevika's taking shaky breaths against you, kissing your neck before biting your earlobe.

"love you too, baby." she whispers as her cock continues to spill inside you. fuck, you hadn't even realized you'd let the words slip in your fucked out state until she said them back, and now that she has, you're cumming around her cock harder than you ever have before. sevika whimpers as your cunt convulses around you, milking her cock, and she sinks her teeth against your throat to hide her whines.

you're pretty sure you cum so hard you black out, because one minute you're on sevika's desk, twitching beneath her as she crushes you with her weight, and the next, she's pulling you into her arms and settling you down on the couch, kissing your face and rubbing your back. you hum against her.

"you okay?" she asks. you giggle.

"better than ever." you reply. sevika giggles and kisses your forehead.

"lemme take you home." she says. "you're gonna love my bed." you grin against her.

"okay. but... just hold me a few more minutes." you say. she laughs and tightens her grip around you. "'m sorry i said 'i love you' for the first time while you were balls deep in me." you say. sevika laughs.

"i'm not. i'm pretty sure i saw god." she says. you laugh.

"i do, you know." you say.

"you do what?" she asks.

"love you."

"hmm... you're sure it's not 'cause i'm paying you?" she teases. you laugh and pinch her side.

"i'm sure. if i loved you for that wage, i'd be a fuckin' horrible gold-digger." you tease her back. she giggles and smacks your ass.

"you're paid better than anyone else on this floor!" she says. you grin.

"yeah, i think my boss' got a crush on me or somethin'." you tease. sevika smiles.

"i think it's a little more than a crush." she says. you lift your head up to press a kiss to her lips.

"yeah?" you whisper against her. she smirks and nods.

"yeah." she says.

taglist!

@lesbeaniegreenie @fyeahnix @sapphicsgirl @half-of-a-gay @ellabslut @thesevi0lentdelights @sexysapphicshopowner @shimtarofstupidity @love-sugarr @chuucanchuucan @222danielaa @badbye666 @femme-historian @lia-winther

[butmakeitgayblog]

can we talk about how lexa would act if clarke came walking out the bathroom with no pants on and lexa just dead stops mid conversation and just stares mouth wide open even tho the conversation was a serious one at that. she doesnt even continue talking until clarke is out of site because she just cant get out of the bubble of clarke with no pants and smirking the hell out of her.the rest of the days meetings are just not gonna work for her anymore.

I actually think Lexa would be quite adorable when it came to having Clarke feeling so comfortable in her space. Don't get me wrong, I agree with you in that, at first, it would take some time for her to get used to it. Not just having someone in her space like that, but Clarke specifically in her space. And nude. On a regular basis.

I think at first she'd be rather struck by it. The feeling of waking up and looking over and seeing Clarke sleeping on her extra pillow. Hair a blonde trainwreck (idk why but i feel like canon Clarke is a messy sleeper when she actually gets a full 8hrs in an actual bed), mouth slightly open in little kitten snores, and yet all Lexa can do is try and breathe normally because her heart pounds so hard it almost hurts.

But more it's the casual intimacies I think that would hit Lexa the hardest (in entirely good ways). The moments of discussing their plans for the day as Clarke pads out of the bathroom fresh from a bath, her hair slightly darkened from the water and smelling like Lexa's soaps. Smelling like Lexa herself. Almost like a... Like a claim over her. Over each other. Because that's what they do now 😳. They really do smell like each other's soaps and perfumes. They get dressed together sleep together and eat dinner together, and also Clarke likes to steal Lexa's slightly too big lounge shirts that show off just a little bit of buttcheek and a whole lot of cleavage when perpetually left half undone, just to parade around her their room while she gets ready for bed. Like she owns it. (She does. She owns everything, including the contents of her wardrobe and also Lexa's entire ass.)

And just. Sometimes it'd be more than Lexa can really make any sense of.

Because love was supposed to be weakness, and while she is indeed weak for this fuckin chaotic mess of a woman, the moments when Clarke catches her staring and grins at her, when Lexa can't stop herself from grinning right back at being caught... nothing about this between them feels like anything other than strength. Certainly not when Clarke adds an extra sway to her hips just because she knows Lexa is watching. When Lexa gets to the point where it's not quite so overwhelming thinking about Clarke in her space and in her clothes and in her bed that she can walk right up and put her hands on those hips without questioning if the touch is welcome.

So yeah, I think it'd be a process, but also once the dams had been opened I think Lexa would've welcomed it. All she'd wanted from the start was for Clarke to want her to be close too, and while I think some lingering hesitance from fear of invoking Clarke's anger would linger for awhile, I believe wholeheartedly it wouldn't take long for Miss Body Glitter Sultry Eyes Grabby Hands kom Lesbiankru to relax into the reality of being with Clarke. I think she'd look, and enjoy looking. And more than that, I think she'd enjoy the fact that Clarke knows she's looking. Aaand I think, despite being a walking gay 404 error message at any given moment, I think that flirty little shit would be making bedroom eyes at Clarke whenever she got the chance.

Especially when it involved her girl wearing no pants.

[raz-writes-the-thing]

Gallery Shenanigans (Broadchurch One-Shot)

Alec Hardy x Masc!Reader 18+ / requests are open

Summary: Alec gives you a handjob in the art gallery bathrooms

Fic type: fluffy smut

BROADCHURCH: @clarina04 @kaylinelizabeth4004 @yeethaw13 @stevekempscocktails @go-bonkers-go-foolish @peytonpenguin37 @quickslvxrr @madspads @catlynharper @merrilark @jaziona92 (send an ask to be added to a tag list!)

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

You’d known you were gay, or at the very least bi with a strong male lean for many, many years. Since you were very young. You may not have had the words for it at that age, but you had an inkling. And as you got older, the better you understood. 

But despite having known for so long- you hadn’t been out all that long. That intergenerational fear of rejection had kept you quiet about it for so long. But you were free now, and fucking hell did it feel good. 

You’d met Alec not too long after coming out. He’d been out too at that point. He was just very private about his life in general, so not many people knew. He didn’t hide it though. 

You’d hit it off and suffered plenty of jokes from your family about how you fell for the first queer man you met in Broadchurch. Not that that was true, of course, but they meant well. You’d had plenty of unrequited crushes in the past that didn’t quite work out.

You’d been dating for a couple of weeks now, and while Alec was incredibly shy and quiet, he’d also been letting you know with subtle hints and touches that he was ready to go further. You were nervous, of course, this being your first time sexually with anyone and Alec being just a touch older than yourself, but you were excited too. 

Which is how you found yourself in the art gallery bathroom stall with your slacks undone and Alec’s hand wrapped around your very hard cock.

“Och, darlin’,” Alec said, leaning in close to press a kiss to your jawline. “Look at’cha. So hard f’er me.” 

You nodded, hips rolling into his hand. His thumb rubbed over the head of your cock and you had to chew on your finger to keep from letting out a loud whimper. Alec grinned, pressing himself in closer to you to drink in your moans with his lips. 

“So fuckin’ good f’er me- good boy-” 

The praise had your eyes rolling back in their sockets, and your hand helplessly gripped at his shirt under his jacket. You were desperate to feel his skin on yours, his cock on yours. You wanted him. Desperately. 

“Please,” you groaned, dropping your head back against the stall to allow him access to your neck which he eagerly latched onto with kisses and nips. 

Alec chuckled against your throat and worked his hand faster along your length, taking good care to squeeze against your most sensitive spots. You buried your face in Alec’s shoulder and panted into his jacket. 

“Tha’ feel good, darlin’? Yeah, I know- such a good boy f’er me,” he cooed, rubbing his thumb over your tip repeatedly. Fuck, you weren't going to last long like this. You whined out a breathy ‘fuck’ and Alec chuckled. 

“Pretty boy gonna cum f’er me, eh? Yeah, pretty thing. Come on. Cum f’er me, darlin’. Tha’s it.” 

You came into his hand, biting down on his neck to keep yourself from crying out loudly and alerting the gallery security to the not-so-legal happenings in the bathroom. 

Your chest heaved as your orgasm ripped through you. You managed to pull away to look at the mess covering his hand. You flushed, noting how Alec was grinning with pride. 

“Tha’ was fun,” Alec said, cleaning his hand off and flushing the mess away. You nodded, pulling him into a desperate kiss. 

Your lips moved together languidly, your tongue requesting entrance which he willingly gave. 

You were panting when you pulled away, and it was Alec’s turn to be flushed pink. 

“F’er someone who’s never had a boyfriend, you’re awful good at that,” he said, swallowing thickly. 

You just nipped at his lower lip and winked.

[lizzy019]

Hey hey!! I'm the anon who requested the poly Daniel Larusso and Johnny Lawrence fic, but if u wanted u could do a blurb just to get it off the list?

Also bc u have full creative freedom it might be nice

Idk, in my experience only writing other people's ideas for a while can lead to some killer burn out and I would hate if u got that :((

Ily, have such a nice day, drink water, all that stuff!! 🫶🫶

Thanks babe! I'll try 😭 I'm lacking motivation lately. I used GN reader for this, I hope you don't mind! <3

~~~~~~~~~ 18+ ~~~~~~~~~~~🌿~~~~~~~~~~~ 18+ ~~~~~~~~~

"Whimperin' and moanin', like a bitch in heat. Bet your little Danny just adores it, huh?" Johnny snarled as you gagged on Daniel's cock.

Locked in an Eiffel Tower position, you felt utterly useless but to succumb to the two men. You really were like a dog in heat, taking everything they so graciously handed to you whether it be given aggressively or kindly. You took what you got and were thankful for it.

"Oh fuckin'- ah shit! Oh baby! Yeah baby, suck it! Suck it real go-oh fuck!" Daniel was such a bloody mess, his legs were barely holding him up if it weren't for Johnny's rough hands holding him still.

Johnny was smirking like he'd accomplished the greatest thing known to man, pounding into your wee, puffy little hole with vigour as you practically ate Daniel's cock.

It was stupid, all of this stemming from who had the biggest cock and who could last the longest.

But could you really find it in you to care when you were being used like a sex doll? No, you were enjoying it too much to really find a reason to complain.

Your body was sore, your back hurt from the constant arching and moving to adjust for the sake of your comfort, but it was always overtaken by Johnny pushing a hand back against you to keep you from moving.

"They're so good for us, aren't they, Danny? Look at 'em, just takin' these two cocks like a bitch. Bet they like it too, huh? Don't you? Don't you? Come on, fuckin' say it!" Johnny was cold with his words, as if trying to keep his cool even if he was staggering too.

He knew you couldn't speak with your mouth full of Daniel's cock, he just wanted an excuse to give your ass a slap, albeit not hard enough to hurt you.

Without any warning, Daniel had moaned just a bit too loudly as his hot semen filled your mouth and slicked your throat. It tasted yummy, as odd as it sounded. Like salt, but creamy and tangy with just a bit of sweetness to it.

Daniel didn't even seem to feel bad about losing and cumming first, he simply collapsed and let you use his body as something to lean on.

And sure enough, Johnny wasn't far behind as his cum spurted out of his urethra and into the condom he wore to protect you from his children ruining your hole and undergarments.

Poor Daniel, he had to catch you when you collapsed on top of him, and make sure he wasn't crushed under the weight of Johnny on top of you both.

But it was cozy, and you had to admit that being with these two men was nice, warm, and enjoyable.

"Johnny... next time, you should moan like me too. It gets 'em off." Daniel teased, kissing your head to soften the embarrassment he so obviously brought you while Johnny only laughed.

"Pfft, that's gay." Johnny muttered, rolling over to lay on his back and away from you two.

"...Johnny, you are gay." Daniel laughed.

Johnny simply shot him a look before trying to close his eyes and get some sleep. However, you were already long gone into your little sleep.

I kept messing up Johnny and Daniel because Ralph Macchio plays Daniel but he also plays Johnny in The Outsiders, so I had to edit this six times 😭

[bueckers-sturniolo]

i have literally been begging for someone to write a paige fic based on “Slut!” by TS like the parts that’s like “if i’m all dressed up, they might as well be looking at us” where reader is famous and gets like hated on for being a “slut” 💁‍♀️💁‍♀️

“slut!”

paige bueckers x female!reader

a/n: hi guys!!! sorry it took me so long to edit this and actually post it. i don’t have much to say but THANK YOU FOR THE LOVE ON THE ALCHEMY!!! i promise part 2 is coming soon!!! ps: this may suck a little but i wrote it in an hour and a half so im sorry!!! also, this hasnt been proofread bc its 6 am and i havent slept! hope u somewhat enjoy!!! love uuuu!

warnings: naur, just swearing :)

word count: somewhere around 1k-ish

-

got love-struck, went straight to my head. got lovesick all over my bed. love to think you’ll never forget. we’ll pray the price, i guess.

you had been dating paige for 5 months, now. she was the best person you had ever met, and an even better lover than you could have ever imagined. but, being in the public eye isn’t necessarily ideal, especially when you’re queer. paige was a basketball player at uconn, and you had been famous for a few years. you had been famous before you knew paige, and even before paige was famous. it’s awesome, and you love it. the lifestyle can be very rewarding and enjoyable.

but, being ‘famous’ comes with its faults. as most things do. over the years, you had developed this sort of…. title. this title being that you are some kind of insane serial-dater. it was pretty ridiculous. of course, paige loved you for you, and didn’t really give a fuck as to what people had to say about you. but, it’s still obviously hurtful, and paige gets that.

present day, the epsy’s were coming up. this is something that meant a lot to your girlfriend. and, quite frankly, you’d do anything to make her happy.

until that thing was going as her date (or +1) to the epsy’s. not that you didn’t want to, not that it was because you were gay. but, because you knew how much this could mess with both of your careers. you didn’t really care about your own, cause people are gonna talk about you regardless, but paige’s social presence made it hard to just come out and do whatever you guys want.

“i mean, i’d just really want you there. we can like…. coincide outfits ‘n shit.” paige says, looking over at you, eating a bite of her cereal.

“yeah, p. i understand.” you say, sighing. you look down at your hands, acting like you were paying attention to anything to distract her (and yourself) from the fact that you really just do not know how it would go, and that fact is stressful in itself.

“baby, if you don’t want to go, it’s fine. im just saying it would be cool.” she says, and you meet her eyes again.

you know she’s right. it would be really fuckin’ cool. but like, at the same time, you really didn’t want to have to receive all of the texts from your publisher of news articles with pictures of you and paige where they essentially just put your name in bold letters then talk about how much of a slut you are for dating 4 people in your approximate 5 years of being famous.

yes, it may seem like a lot. but, also, most of these relationships only lasted a few months. you never necessarily wanted them to go public, but, they almost always did. that’s why you and paige took extra precautions.

obviously, one day, you wanted to tell people about you and paige. but, you wanted it to be when you guys had atleast made it past the new relationship stage.

but, if im all dressed up, they might as well be lookin’ at us. and if they call me a ‘slut,’ you know, it might be worth it for once. and if im gonna be drunk, i might as well be drunk in love.

you couldn’t help but give in. there was exactly a week before the epsy’s, and even though you’d kept telling paige you really didn’t think going was a good idea, you felt so bad for saying it that you randomly changed your mind.

“p, come here.” you say, calling from the couch in your living room. she walked in the room, hands on her hips, sleeves rolled up. she was loading the dishwasher for you, as the ‘gentleman’ she was (in a world of boys, (s)he’s a gentleman.)

“yes, baby? what’s wrong?” she says, walking toward you and sitting down, resting an arm on the back of the couch behind your head. “i wanna go with you, p. ill go with you to the awards.” as you say this, you fiddle with the hem of her basketball shorts.

“you wanna go with me? seriously?” she perks up. her whole face immediately lights up. this was the reason you were doing it. that reaction right there.“yes, love. i want to go with you.” she grabs your chin, pulling your face closer to her and gently pressing a kiss to your temple.

“you know, you don’t have to go if you don’t want to. i know you don’t want to read about all of the stupid shit men online say about you. they don’t even know you and it’s so infuriating that they think they can talk about my baby like that. my sweet, sweet girl...” she rubs your side, kissing your temple gently a few more times while babbling a few more sweet names in your ear.

“i know, p. but, i also know i don’t owe anyone shit, and if i want to go out in public with you, i shouldnt be scared. i mean- it’s just…. like, i just want keep hiding us because of the fact that people always have some stupid shit to say. you know, if they call me a whore or if they call me a slut, it might be worth it. it may just be worth it this once.” she smiles ear to ear as you say this. seconds after this, she tackles you onto the couch, pecking all over your face as she tickles your sides.

half asleep, takin’ your time in the tangerine neon lights. this is luxury. you’re not saying you’re in love with me, but, you’re goin’ to. half away, takin’ your chance, it’s a big mistake. i said, ‘it might blow up in your pretty face.’ im not sayin’ do it anyway, but you’re going to.

the night finally arrives. you guys are both getting your hair done. paige is wearing a lilac suit, and she looks ridiculously attractive. you were wearing a white dress with lilac heels, to coincide with her.

you guys get to the carpet, and it feels so surreal. you guys are finally out together and it’s just fucking insane. she does a few interviews, and they even ask you for your own pictures (even though you’re not an athlete)

the awards themselves are good, paige presents and even changes suits. she looks fuckin’ phenomenal.

but, then the after-party comes. the lights are tangerine and kinda dim, everyone’s drunk, and some people are even outside in a swimming pool. (???)

you had been to award shows yourself, but this was so cool. paige grabs you guys drinks throughout the night, careful not to get too wasted, but enough to get a little tipsy. by the end of the afterparty, so many pictures of you guys had been taken you felt like it was kinda too hard to hide your relationship from the world anymore.

while this wasn’t the main goal of tonight whatsoever, paige decided it was time to make your relationship social media official. she thought you deserved to be loved out loud, and honestly she couldn’t give any less of a fuck who said what. you loved her. she loved you. that’s all that mattered.

@paigebueckers

liked by kamoreaarnold and others

paigebueckers: Cats out of the bag I guess 🐈👜

view all 2,405 comments

kamoreaarnold: Photo creds on slide 3

> paigebueckers: @kamoraarnold Best photographer 🙌

yourusername: wow she’s cute who is that

> paigebueckers: @/yourusername Idiot

>> yourusername: @/paigebueckers 😁

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[aforestescape]

simon 'ghost' riley and johnny 'soap' mctavish - where benefits start

content includes: gay sex, pet names, safe sex is great, oh and some plot

this is a prelude to them meeting you. basically background to how they met each other before x.

johnny and simon met a few years before they meet you. back when simon used to work at the door of some low level pub in the city. before simon decides to dye his hair blonde and grow out the length more. just a brown close shaved buzz that accentuates the sharp angles of his face.

johnny heads into the city for a short trip to meet up with an old buddy from college. his friend taking him to his favorite pub, decent beers and always has a game on the telly, where he meets ghost for the first time. he takes one look at the older man standing gruffly at the door, thick forearms covered in tattoos and scars and swoons.

john doesn’t waste any time in flirting. hitting on the brit shamelessly like there isn’t a small queue of people behind him waiting to get inside. he spends more nights of his trip just showing up to the pub and chatting up ghost. not even bothering to go in for a pint unless he threatens him for loitering.

on his last night there ghost isn’t working the door and johnny cant help but feel just a bit of dispair at missing such a hot piece of ass. until he enters the bar to find simon grabbing a drink inside. something simon never does, not liking to piss where he eats.

they spend less than an hour there. johnny recommending shots that lead to them fucking in the alley way. johnny groaning out in pleasure from simons rough thrusts into his ass. large scarred over hands keeping a firm grip on his waist as leverage. simon leans down to whisper in his ear, deep voicing ringing.

“you been real fuckin’ needy, haven’t you? this what you wanted? my cock up your ass to behave.”

johnny moaning and clenching around the length of simons cock, his own laying neglected against his stomach. leaking and an angry shade as it begs to be touched. his hands trying to find purchase in the concrete wall of the building across from the pub while simon fucks into him.

simon pulls out all the way, the fat head of his cock brushing johnnys rim before slamming back in. the brush of piercings along the bottom of simons length adding delicious stimulation as he fully sheathes himself.

“fuck,” johnny moans at out, head tossing back into simons shoulder.

“i asked you a question, mutt.”

johnny whines and clenches around him again. a panting mess over simons cock as he moans out a thick, “aye, needed this!”

simon rewards him by moving one hand from johns hips to his cock. using the mess of precum and smearing it for lube as he pumps his hand in time with his thrusts. simon moves his head to johnnys neck, taking a ragged breath that turns to a moan.

“that wasn’t so hard was it? keep being a good boy for me, yeah?”

if johnny was in a different state of mind he might be slightly embarrassed by the loud whine that rips through his throat. by how easily the roughness of simons voice, the delicious ache of simons thick cock in his ass, and the grip on his cock make him cum. a shudder wracking through his body as he spurts thick streams over simons hand, his lower abdomen and the wall in front of him.

moaning out expletives as simon keeps pounding away into him. moving his hand from his cock to johnnys mouth. and johnny being the good pet he is opens up for him so easily. sucking his cum off thick digits while he loses his mind to the bliss. it only takes a few more thrusts of simons hips, his head in the peak of johnnys neck as he lets out his own moans before cuming into the condom.

they stand like that for a bit, just panting and basking in the post orgasm bliss. simon pressing a kiss to johns neck and ear, murmuring soft praise. after slipping out of him and fixing their clothes johnny offers his number to simon.

they spend months between work and hanging out with friends getting to know each other. johnny taking the drive into the city or simon taking the train to the countryside where johnny lives. says he likes it better because it reminds him of his family. of where he grew up back in the thick of scotland.

meeting up and falling into a pattern that morphs arousal and desire into something deeper. months of time spent in a friends with benefits situation that only changes when johnny tells si over the phone that he’s taking a job in the city and looking for a flat.

help, i’ve no clue what to the name this series:/ i hope you enjoyed, this is basically one of my first times writing smut (or at least a coherent/complete piece) so be gentle with me

[angelisgonnastartchangingurls]

richard, on a friday

robbie showed annie some texts he'd exchanged with their mom. she'd asked him if he'd deletd the pictures he took of her yet and he said "of course not, i made it your contact photo when you call me."

mom: oh noooo

him: relax, you look great

mom: well thank u

him: perfect tits, cute bush

mom: i really hadn't trimmed it enough when you saw me, it was a mess, i've since done a better job

him: let me see

mom: lol!

him: take a pic of your bush for me

mom: you're so bad

him: come on, don't be shy

and she'd sent him a photo of herself in the bathroom mirror, in just a bra, smiling, posed just slightly, bush well-displayed. she'd trimmed it down to nearly a shadow, with very defined, angled edges.

him: excellent work, my only note is to take the bra off next time.

annie gave him a blowjob after that. "it's not my birthday or anything," he said, as she wrapped her mouth around him. she was very aware what she was doing -- she had to beat her mom at this.

of course, she already was beating her mom at this, and she'd casually sent robbie dozens of nudes and videos of herself fucking. but it wasn't enough to just win by a margin. she needed to leave her mom in the dust. she got robbie's cum all over her shirt and had to change before work.

ted had asked her out that night but she'd told him she would just come over and fuck him after a work event. the work event was another party richard had invited her to, a fundraiser for a nonprofit. annie wore a short black dress and a white, small pair of panties. no bra. when annie got there, she was surprised to see that richard's daughter was there too. "annie, this is my daughter sophie, this is my therapist annie," he said.

"wow, hot therapist," sophie said, grinning.

"richard has shown me some of your work," annie said. "it's really lovely."

"sophie's in the city for a few weeks as an artist in residence at AIC," richard said.

"impressive," annie said.

"not really," sophie said. "they just kind of hand those grants out. want to get a drink?"

annie was surprised but delighted by how brusque sophie was. she'd expected a wilting little soft-spoken french flower. but she was funny and vulgar and sharp.

"my dad thinks you are so smart," she said to annie. "which i know from a rich white guy sounds condescending but he really means it."

"yeah, he's a very earnest person," annie said.

"it's very sweet. my mom was the bitter acid that balanced him out. now he's fuckin' ted lasso."

"well, it seems like you're the acid now."

"i try but i don't see him much."

"that's hard. i'm close with my dad too. he lives in the suburbs but he's always coming to hang out with me and get away from my mom."

sophie laughed. "i know i have a dead mom so i'm supposed to tell you to appreciate her but my mom was kind of a cunt."

annie laughed.

"you want to do some molly?" sophie asked.

"of course," annie said.

sophie pulled her into the bathroom.

"last time i let someone pull me into the bathroom around your dad, she took a picture of my tits and showed it to him."

"very professional," sophie said, putting a pill in annie's mouth. "don't worry, if i take pictures of you i won't show my dad."

"i'm not sure i minded, honestly," annie said.

"of course you didn't," sophie said.

the night was buzzy, blurry fun. sophie often circulated away from annie, and annie made wide-eyed small talk with other people, but was always grateful when she returned. richard was mostly busy with others but winked at them a lot.

claire was texting annie, and at one point sophie caught sight of a nude claire had sent.

"i definitely didn't clock you as queer but i think france has fucked up my gaydar," sophie said. "no one is fucking gay over there. which you wouldn't think would be the case!"

"i don't know if i am, i just... i met this girl the other week and we impulsively fucked and i think it made us both question..."

"wow, the pussy was that good huh?" sophie said. "can i have her number? i haven't been properly eaten out in like a year."

"i'll give you her number, yeah."

annie texted claire. "i'm kind of busy tonight but do you want to fuck my friend?"

"female?" claire replied.

"yeah, female, very hot, kind of high right now..."

"yes" claire said. "my boyfriend is visiting home for the weekend. yes."

annie gave sophie claire address and put her in an uber. she went back to the party to said goodnight to richard.

"where did sophie go?"

"uh, i kind of got her laid?" annie said. "sent her to a female friend's place who was kind of in the mood."

"well, you two are already fast friends, huh?" he laughed. "have a great night, i'll see you on monday!"

annie took an uber to ted's place. he'd taken a pill, and they fucked hard on the couch, annie's dress still on, panties pulled aside. annie came three times on his cock, and ted finished twice inside her. annie was a mess, and took a long shower after. when she got out, she had texts from claire -- pictures of sophie nude in her bed. annie was surprised to see that sophie was fully shaved.

surprisingly, it came up in therapy on monday. richard was remarking on how nice it was to have sophie stateside for a while, living at his apartment, and the intimacy of that. he told annie that he'd sat in the bathroom and chatted with sophie as she shaved her bush in the bath.

"why?" annie asked. "it was such a great bush!"

richard laughed. "you know, I think it's a when in rome kind of thing. the bush makes sense in france. not as common here. i mean i don't want to speak for all women. she said your friend was shaved."

"she was?" annie said. "surprising. she was not when we hooked up a week ago." she laughed at herself disclosing this kind of thing in front of richard so readily, so eagerly. "maybe i inspired her."

richard smiled.

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

aaaaaaaaaaand i'm falling asleep i should not have made any of the posts I just did but i did you know sometimes you just do things

it's fine it's all fine

i'm so in love with crowley to a normal anmount hust his snakes and skin and softness and he's loike so kind in a waiter's cosrumte you know? my eyes are shutting im fucked i'm just otouching typing at this point so

touch typing is great im so good at it

ive been typing for years im an author what am i doing with my lfie right now I'M BEING NORMAL ABOUT A SHOWWWWWW SO NORMALLL

hey fun fact once a bunch of kids were debating what my gender was because I looked like the slutty gay little shit of a guy that I am but they didn't comprehend that so they asked me am i a girl or a boy

and at that point i'd seen too many tumblr screenshots on like pinterest so all I said was

"I am whatever the witches tell me to be"

and that sounds real badass inn9t expect it was NOT it was not I stuttered like crowley and stared very suspiciouslly aeay away from the small kid because I DIDNT KNOW WHAT TO DO HOW DO I BE GAY IN THIS FUCKING PLACE

ojjojoj my gingers sliffy slidy slippy slidy dippy glidy say the ao3 writers and then they add oh. oh. and we're all happy. never written for ao3 but KUDOS literally lmao just realised but also YES THREE FUCKIN WAHOOS FOR THE AO3 WRITERS OUT THERE DOING OUR LORD AND DSAVIOUR BILDAD THE SHUITE THE SHOEMAKER AND OBSTETRICIAN'S WORK

guys i SWSAET IT'S OKAY THE MEDS ARENT MESSING WITH ME THIS IS JUST HOW 9 AM HEWEN I AM SLEEPY YEAH IT'S JUST THAT NOW I HAVE AN OUTLET TO BE SELEPY ON (TUMBLOR) AND IMMA MAKE ALL MY FOLLOWERS REGRET IT

I LOVE YOU ALL WAHOO

[littlepetbee]

i've had the house to myself this weekend so i decided to marathon a bunch of movies that have been on my watchlist for aaages. here they are ranked bc i love making lists lmao:

Game Night: this one was far and away my favorite...it's a fun, clever mystery that's also funny as shit. rachel mcadams is the queen of comedy and also waving a loaded gun around like a crazy person. fuckin 10/10, you guys

I Love You Phillip Morris: listen. i avoid jim carrey like the plague - it's nothing personal, his face just irritates the shit out of me. but i'm SO glad i gave this one a try anyway...it was so cute and touching and gay little ewan mcgregor with his gay little earring is genuinely the softest, sweetest thing to ever exist. it makes complete sense that someone would become a conman for him lmao. 10/10

Bullet Train: thee action comedy lbr!! shoutout to @seeinhindsight for reccing this one to me. it was so well done...with all the winding storylines and running gags it easily could have been a tonal mess, but i feel like they knocked it outta the park. also the steady stream of "oh shit this guy's in it too???" was fun as hell. 9/10 just bc some parts made me sad and my movie ratings are based solely on how they Make Me Feel, not any objectivity lol

Attack The Block: my brain the whole time: YEAH BOY(EGA)!!!! an alien invasion movie with a Message and pre-star wars john boyega?? that was always gonna be a slam dunk for me. though i do gotta say watching british movies as an american is always jarring as hell bc there's no guns. it feels like the weirdest kind of unreality. anyways 8/10

This Is Where I Leave You: slowing things down and getting way more Serious here but i was surprised by how much i liked this one (though maybe i shouldn't have been, since dysfunctional families/siblings are kinda my bread and butter lmao). the surprise lesbianism-slash-lowkey-polyamory definitely elevated it, too! 7/10

Shattered Glass: 100% the movie you gotta show people when they try to say hayden christensen sucks at his job bc uhhh he ate that shit up. not to be #me about it, but if that dude can be that fucking cute the whole time and still make me wanna throttle him within an inch of his life, you know he was doing something right. 6/10

As Above, So Below: i was bummed at first when i realized it was one of those found footage horror dealios, but i actually ended up really liking it. and honestly for the setting, i think found footage really was the only way to go. the concept was super interesting and the horror aspects were sufficiently creepy without being enough to give me nightmares, which is about all my babyass can handle. 6/10

Everybody Wants Some!!: yeah the hoechlin 80's movie lol. it was fun! the characters were likable for the most part! the vibes were good! but B's cannot live on vibes alone (that's a bible verse, i'm p sure) so i was left wondering what the Point was. i am not the target audience for hangout movies, i'll tell you that lmao. 3.5/10

so that's the list!!! all in all a very great way to spend a weekend <3

[aerospectrum]

I’d write with you if you didn’t make all your muses fags there’s nothing worse than having good muses written by women obsessed with turning straight men into fags

tw; I don’t answer rude messages like this and I won’t after this one either but I felt I needed to address this one in particular cuz it’s super lame to like the entire rp community.

first fiiirst first. like heeeell fuckin yeah man non-straight people exist and they have sex!

first. not a girl, I’m literally male my guy, just out here living wild and free with a weener and balls lmao. so there’s that. second who cares if girls write gay fic about the characters they like it doesn’t even affect you??? third. don’t slur me or at me that’s really messed up man and I wouldn’t write with you anyway. Fourth. I’d have rather you just dmed me instead of this cause it feels really childish and knowing there’s still people in the rpg community with really bad intentions, takes, and mindsets like this makes it hard for others to take risks and chances on fic and muses that they interpret in ways that aren’t heteronormative or cis aligned. people interpret characters differently in more ways than just sexuality and it’s fluidity and that’s great, just let people exist how they feel comfortable to exist, they’re not hurting you.

lastly. this is fiction. these aren’t real life people my guy. none of this is deep enough to send messages like this. people create and write such amazing work here and you just trivialize it all to “eeeew girls are taking over cool characters and ruining my machismo vibes writing gay people having sex eeeeeew”

[insufferableprotagonistpoll]

Propaganda why Tori Vega is insufferable:

no redeemable traits. she’s selfish and arrogant while being the least talented or interesting one in their friend group. she treats her friends terribly and messes with beck to get back at jade.

the most boring character in the whole show

I actually didn’t find Tori that bad when I was a kid but my eyes have been opened to how she was kind of a flip-flop of a character. Also she acts like a modern Disney princesses where she’s “adorkable” and “quirky” and “funny” but is actually not that interesting

Also how is she’s supposed to be the best singer in her school when her singing ability is kinda mid compared to her other two female friends lol rip

Propaganda why Wei Wuxian is insufferable:

He's so goddamm annoying, even when he is right I want to beat him up because he's so frustrating. This fuckin loser wouldn't know decent open communication with his loved ones if it sucker punched his dick off

Gonna get murdered by the fandom for this but whatever I just don’t like him. In the earliest part of the flashback he reminds me one arrogant prick I used to have class with who thought he was smarter than the rest of the class and enjoyed showing off about it. Yeah he grows up a bit as he gets older but I couldn’t get over how much he reminded me of that one guy. Fuck you [redacted]

Canonically obnoxious and disrespectful. Committed atrocities, but his biggest fans unironically think he’s never done anything wrong. The source of fandom’s reduction of a complex and nuanced literary work to endless tedious debates about the morality of fictional characters.

That's his main personality trait. Everyone finds him insufferable in universe AND in fandom.

I absolutely cannot stand his rancid vibes. Him and Lan Wangji are the most boring of the MXTX couples. I only read MDZS for the side characters.

Fucks everything up. Tries to save about 50 people, only succeeds in saving 1.5 of them. World's most annoying gay

[butmakeitgayblog]

What are your expectations for Evelyn Hugo? I think Netflix is gonna mess it up, but dunno if it's my lowered expectations of Hollywood getting this adaptation right. it should have been a series not a movie!

Pretty much exactly that 🙄

I mean I'll obviously reserve all actual judgement because they could always surprise us, but lbr it's fucking Netflix. Every single time you think they can't fumble the bag harder, they set a new record. And tbh I do think the fact that they decided to go with a movie instead of a mini series is a fucking atrocity. Point blank I'm guessing they're going to spend way way too much time on the husbands and explain it away as "wE wErE gOiNg fOr tHe YeArNiNg" 😒 like mmm no. No, you hetero-fied a queer wlw story which was exactly one of the things Evelyn was trying not to do by sharing her story. So yeah. That's my general expectations. That they're going to completely miss the point of Evelyn's story, completely miss the point of Monique and her story, and focus too much on the hetero sexualized and dreary gay oppression aspects of it that token "allies" fuckin cream themselves over. You can pretty much bank on the Vegas sex scene being in there and explicit to a gratuitous degree, while any love scenes between her and Celia (if there even are any) will be artsy, poorly lit fadeaways and flashes of hands skating over obscure bits of skin.

In short, I doubt this movie will actually be made for us.

I hope I'm wrong, I truly do, but given the state of everything this past year, I'm not exactly holding my breath

[ceilingfan5]

cloak or reveal @taznovembercelebration

“I promise you the new guy at work is a mutant, Lup, like, laying money on the table level conviction here.” 

“Lay it, then, chicken,” Lup says affectionately, helping him wash the dye out of his hair. “You should say something. You’ve already detailed all the ways you think he’s so dreamy. I’ll bet your phone could auto-predict a dirty soliloquy.” 

“I resent that on multiple fronts,” Taako protests, nearly getting bright purple water in his mouth. “What am I supposed to do, just ask him if he’s got illegal super powers and also if he’s gay? Like-”

“You start with one,” Lup rinses his hair again, and the water is way colder this time. He yelps, and she clucks her tongue mockingly. “And follow up with the other.” 

“Oh, so I’m just supposed to be like, I’m having a total mutant crisis–don’t worry, I’m mutant–and also do you kiss guys? Cause, get this-”

“You could transmute something in front of him?”

“Oh, right there in the fucking office?”

“Like you’ve never used your skills in public, you hypocrite.” She finally stops spraying and lets him sit up, toweling him off a little more aggressively than he deserves, in his humble and one hundred percent correct opinion.

“Uh, yeah, in full fuckin’ disguise?? You want me to do this in a place that knows my fucking social security number?”

“Then don’t, just ask him.” 

“Which one.”

“Either, gods! You’re insufferable.” She starts cleaning up the mess, rolling her eyes loud enough for Taako to hear it. Who’s the hypocrite!

“You legally can’t say a word on this front, and I have screenshots to prove it!” 

Her cheeks darken and her hair starts to flicker. 

“That’s different, Barry and I-”

“Oh, you knew exactly who I meant, though, didn’t you?” 

“Shut up!” She throws the other towel in his face. “Nut up or shut up! I don’t care if you tell him you wanna do magic in the broom closet, just-”

“Yuckarooni!” 

“Just stop talking about it! He’s all you’ll fucking talk about, besides your stupid mortal enemy-”

“Oh, you want me to stop whining about the The Reaper trying to fucking kill me? I’m so sorry I’m bothering you!”

Lup groans and folds her arms. 

“Taako,” she says. 

“Lup,” he replies coldly, holding the yucky wet stained towel. 

“I mean this with all the love in the world, but you’ve got to get a hobby. Besides vigilantism.”

“Yeah? What’s yours?”

She looks at him for a long moment, and he glares right back, and after a long beat, they both burst into laughter. 

“Fuck,” she says. He nods in agreement. Boys aren’t worth it. They sigh in unison, and consider the situation deeply. 

“I’m gonna just tell him,” Taako says. “Bet you fifty bucks.”

“Like you have fifty bucks,” she snorts, but she shakes his hand and pulls him into a hug anyway. “Can’t wait for you to buy me spency dinner tomorrow when you’re a huge gay mutant coward.”

“Bite me, firebird. I’m coming home with a boyfriend tomorrow.” He laughs, and inspects the dye job in the bathroom mirror. “Okay, not your worst attempt.”

“You’re fucking welcome,” she says sweetly, and squeezes his shoulder. “Next time I’m charging. If not for the cosmetology, at least for the advice.” 

[blooduponme]

Hi. How are you? Never done one of these before.

I'm 23. A woman (but not a lady.) Mentally, my trash bin is missing. As most can probably tell. I am formally diagnosed with PTSD, GAD, and I suspect BPD but I will not claim to know that one for sure. I am VERY dramatic, especially in written form. Romanticized dramatics are My Thing© so let me be cringe in peace.

I am a blossoming Semi-ficto. Still learning what all that means and entails, but I've known about my feelings for quite a long time; never had a name for it until now, however. But I've had a very strong love for fictional characters for as long as I can remember.

Shego was my gay awakening, too.

I'm a shy person. Probably won't talk to you unless you shoot first. But I'm interested in learning more about being ficto - all kinds.

My f/o. - I'm still nervous to even say that?

My infatuation. My love whom I cannot feasibly touch. Yet, in the dead of night, I hear her voice so clearly in my ears. I really truly think I've lost my mind. Let myself fall too far. But It's okay with me. If this is what being crazy means for me, I do not wish for sanity.

Yeah it's Serana. Yes, that one. I know, I know. But really - we have so much in common. I hate the weather too, girl. Fuck a cave let's stay home and cuddle. Sunlight? No thank you. Blood? Yes please. Traumatic past and upbringing? Me fuckin too let's vent to each-other until we both either feel better or are crying together.

Like damn let me hold you close until you're at least the average body temp of a standard human.

Do I really hit the post button on this mess?

Fuck it we ball.