Tumgik
#yes i am still furious
evviejo · 2 years
Text
it's funny, y'know, that rtd is excusing the decision to have the doctor's clothes regenerate with her by saying that he didn't want to make it a mockery of women.
guess, russell, who you are mocking with this sorry ass explanation?
you're mocking jodie. jodie, who specifically wanted to have the doctor's outfit be gender neutral. who specifically went to ray holman with a picture of an androgynous-looking person to show what she wanted. who actually considered the fact that she didn't know who was going to take her place. who understood the doctor's notion of gender is not as strict as most of our society's.
and clearly, she understood that way better than you do, mate.
49 notes · View notes
sinfulsunni · 7 months
Text
anyyywayyysss. totally unrelated to any previous posts or potential current WIPs (lie) I have a headcanon that izzy is like. ridiculously loud during sex. and I don’t just mean like, moaning and whimpering (which he does do) but like,,, have you heard how much that man swears? and how LOUD he can swear?? his unchallenged yelling prowess? you can NOT tell me that my man wouldn’t be the most noisy ass bottom alive in bed but in like the most aggressive way possible. if it almost sounds like he’s angry with you then you’re doing it right. just raging lustful screaming echoing for ten miles in every direction like “FUUUCKKKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK OH FUCKING SHIT - NGH - FUCK - DADDY - FUCK - JESUS FUCKING BALLS FUCKING HELL ED. 💖EDDIE ED EDEDEDDIEOHEDFUCK - NGHHH SHIT - AH-” etc etc you get the picture. the crew of the queen anne have never known a full nights sleep in their entire lives.
57 notes · View notes
buttercupshands · 4 months
Text
wait a minute
Tumblr media Tumblr media
stop.
stop it.
#bnha#bnha manga spoilers#mha spoilers#mha 423#I didn't hate this chapter before that#but now I am#because this is just cruel level of REMEMBER THIS?????#yes. I do remember this. I rewatched and reread this arc VERY recently#so... he killed Kurogiri with a punch like the one he did in USJ and again to save Izuku#I don't care honestly.#I reread this chapter and I cried again bc I REALLY refused to believe that Kurogiri died then#but he did with a death words to Shirakumo's friends and recall of old chapters#even if people want Tenko alive I doubt that Kurogiri will ever materialize again#and I'm deadly serious when I say that this is the worst part of this chapter#I worried for Kurogiri's existence ever since it was revealed that Shirakumo is in there#but that literally took FIVE YEARS TO APPEAR AGAIN HAVING AN IMPORTANT ROLE#and he left while crumbling just like Tomura's body before Katsuki hit him#and the last thing he thought about was about protecting Tomura even though he was partly Shirakumo's dead corpse appearing more and more#even Mic now understood that it's really is him in a way ending his arc from back in Tartarus with Aizawa#and you know what's worse??? TOMURA KNOWS THIS#the way he used “...........” with Kurogiri's name while the page literally showed his black smoke disappearing was heartbreaking before#it's worse now#like... okay he's dying too and he doesn't even know if spinner is ALIVE or not and he saw Kurogiri disappear#all while protecting him from harm one last time#AND WE STILL HAVE NO FUCKING FLASHBACKS OF HIS TIME WITH TOMURA OUTSIDE OF WHAT WE HAD IN MANGA#I'm getting more and more furious by the minute HAHA#I need to find that one sketch I did way back in 2019 with them after spoilers of Kurogiri in Tartarus#I NEED SOMETHING LIKE THAT NOW AND I CAN'T DRAW#I want to just curl up and cry myself to sleep like a 13 y.o that found out the bird that she looked after died while she was sleeping#kurogiri
36 notes · View notes
unproduciblesmackdown · 6 months
Text
Tumblr media
truly lmao 2024 lambda literary award finalist wynnstannery
#have probably already heard of these awards w/o absorbing it but has a sizable [twitter acct you follow follows this acct] overlap for one#wikipedia blurb ''to recognize the crucial role lgbtq writers play in shaping the world...celebrate the very best in lgbtq literature''#Lol! naturally everyone set to laugh abt Individually being lambda award finalist Authors amidst 40+ anthology contributors. sure#and of course oh absolutely crucial cam stone page. we did make the back of book blurb too after all#born of [crucially soph nothingunrealistic (a) investigates that akd role which (ai) leads to me also checking it out. later (b)#investigates this Call For Submissions For All Trans F&F Zine which (bi) leads to me going ''oh so true cam stone Needs to be there'']#all originating in The Wrong Fake ''Fans'' Show Up For Billions By Way Of Beloved Character Winston lmao#b/c fr imagine the trans f&f zine Doesn't have a Did You Know That???? page abt a delightful akd role & canon nonbinary f&f character#but this amidst Plenty of ''fake'' ''wrong'' ''fans'' messing around w/the concept of Fast & Furious as a Work throughout#as i said & got the feedback of [hell yes You Get It] that the premise Guarantees you get a very Varied & inherently Playful response#not b/c playfulness need be ''unserious'' but it sure need not be ''serious.'' like f&f itself; as part of [the premise guarantees it]#& that the Range of ways ppl can approach this broad concept is like the Range of ways ppl can approach the broad concept of Gender lol#& not Unearnest but needing no Gravitas / ''serious'' ''legitimacy'' guaranteed in turn to ''validate'' your efforts#and your not being the ''right'' or ''expected'' audience getting the perhaps straight(tm)forwardly intended experience here lmao#so in many ways it did feel very resonant / relevant to wynnstannery#embracing [the one use of: editor's note!] and [the one use of: the word ''autistic''!]#2 trans 2 furious#which is probably gonna get a physical reprint sooner than later; pdfs still available despite the lack of link there#was already The Intention if vaguely so; now with the added ''can put the 2024 Lambda Award Nominee / Finalist on the cover lol''#page 54 (i believe) brought to you by a couple of quantnoisseurs; rushed to finish last minute then ft. some post deadline edits lmao#classic....nonzero other works i've Heard Of! nice#which: sure does seem like the focus here is like ''did you hear about these books? :)'' as many ''awards'' can ultimately be#like i Am hearing about them now. had seen abt Being Ace on twitter interesting interesting. hi honey i'm homo hell yeah#do we have one or two f&f films left? put cam stone cameo in there for real. Fast furious worth the effort worth the cost#& just shoutout to the like bifurcation of Akd Role Types. [intense in a relatively restrained affect way. some dramatic flair for sure]#and [spontaneous! vivacious! bright! playful! pretty emotionally open!] that's right lmao
5 notes · View notes
irisbaggins · 7 months
Text
Not going to actually tag this with his name, this is mostly for y'all following me and for my own piece of mind, but:
I cannot express how horrified I was when I watched Harris's video. How I felt like somebody had doused me in cold water, how reality slapped me in the face. I had, in my relief of finally submitting my thesis, forgotten plagiarists existed. Specifically, people who hunt down Bachelor papers to use because they're made by students, because we're oftentimes not actively looking up the topic of our thesis anymore. I spent a ridiculous amount of time googling my own topic to check if something may have happened, paranoid it might have happened. And, in hindsight, I know why I did it, even if back then it may have felt irrational; because I fought tooth and nail to finish that paper, to write it and submit it and pass it. I poured blood, sweat, and tears into it, and the possibility of somebody just stealing that felt infuriating. They just took the easy road whilst I laboured to get it done despite everything trying to stop me. That idea infuriated me, and it still does. I still feel that rage at the mere thought.
I just. I cannot understand anyone who thinks plagiarism "isn't a big deal". I don't understand the people defending this asshole for doing what he did, for telling us all that our feelings don't matter, that our work doesn't matter. I just. I feel so angry about all of this.
I also find it both ridiculously funny and blood-boiling infuriating that Norway is still having its own plagiarism scandals. Some of our elected officials are still being called out for it (one of them in our fucking education department!!), and still denying it! I cannot escape this shit, of being told that our concerns don't matter! Plagiarism is theft! What's so hard to understand about that?!
#text_loke#RAGE! I FEEL RAGE!!#can you tell i read ANOTHER article about the fucker that still insists she did nothing wrong? even when the University of Trondheim-#-calls her out on it? can you tell i'm furious that i hear this bullshit at all sides as of late??#i have many thoughts but i can feel myself close to passing out. i need to sleep. not be enraged#and yes i did feel fear that my work was stolen! because the topic falls RIGHT into what somerton would've stolen!#my topic was fully queer and about a piece of media! and because of the niche topic i kinda know very fast if anybody has stolen my shit :)#which is also why i'm not saying what it is. due to that being very likely to doxx myself#so yeah. when i saw certain parts of Harris's video i did feel fear. because what i wrote falls under that category of 'genre stolen from'#aka. my niche subject about queer themes written by a student (in English) from a small country (5 mil)#like. i hate even saying this! because it feels like making myself oh so important! no! i don't think i am!#which is what makes this so frustrating! because i feel irrational! i feel like i'm being too self-centered in my fear!#i don't know how to process this! i just! i'm frustrated and angry and this is why i haven't spoken on this before!#because i DON'T think my work is good enough for anybody to really notice#but the slim chance that ONE PERSON might sparked my paranoia. and now it won't shut up#however. i now will because i am becoming nonsensical. i am exhausted
5 notes · View notes
scourgeofshadows · 2 years
Text
Tumblr media
True story to Scream 6: Ghostface wanted to torment Gale cuz she's back to her old self and was so furious about her not writing a story honoring Dewey that they stabbed senses into her so that she blacks out and wakes up with the character development she had in Scream 5
2 notes · View notes
unichrome · 2 years
Text
"I don't know how to get discord, can you show me?" holy fucking shit why is this such a problem literally how do you think you get it for fucks sake this is not hard to figure out
Does problem solving skills and reading very simple instructions go straight out the window when it comes to anything computer related?? Do adult people need this much handholding in any other subjects?? "I haven't used an elevator in this building before, could you show me how to get to the 4th floor? I'm not very technical :("
I don't mind helping people with IT stuff but is it so much to ask that they at least try to do it themselves first??
3 notes · View notes
nanabanonana · 1 month
Text
realizing that i've been throwing the equivalent of a tantrum all bc i forgot ONE fcking scene after posting and THAT's why i've been taking my sweet time getting back to writing lmao get your shit together, pancho
1 note · View note
maraune · 5 months
Text
Look, smart dean is very personal, precious and dear to me
0 notes
shotmrmiller · 7 months
Text
tw: mentions of roofies, murder, then smut:)
cbf!simon would absolutely kill for you.
Tumblr media
cbf!simon has always been your partner in crime.
even in your youth, back when he was built like a daffodil, he was always by your side. kept you safe from the mean girls at school, always got in trouble for throwing hands at boys who made crass comments at you and the like. then he'd left his butcher job to join the military. "I gotta learn how to keep you safe, love. i'll always come back to ya."
and he had. he returned to you almost four times his size; he left a boy and came back a man. down to your very bones, you knew that he would always keep you safe.
which is why he was the first person you called when the guy next to you at the bar roofied your drink. the beer fizzed irregularly and had an almost milky colour even though it was an ipa.
the idiot had dared to smile at you, an oily, crooked grin with yellow teeth, and lifted his own glass to toast with you.
you bolted out of your seat in seconds, heading straight to the ladies' room, and dialed.
he answered on the second ring.
"please come get me." you hadn't meant to sound as terrified as you felt.
"be there in 5," then hung up.
he lived 15 minutes away from the dingy bar.
true to his word, he was there in 5, texting where you were at.
inside the ladies bathroom.
he let himself in, put his jacket around your quivering shoulders, and with a strong, comforting arm, guided you toward the exit and into his truck. simon remained silent as he sat you in the passenger seat, gently pulling the seatbelt over your chest, clicking it into place.
he stood next to you, his hands resting on your jean-clad thighs, waiting patiently for you to explain.
your teeth sink into your bottom lip as you sort out your thoughts. you no longer felt afraid, that much was certain. simon has always been your pillar of strength. there was nothing to fear with him at your side.
so why do your hands continue to tremble? digging deeper, you realize that you're angry. no.
furious.
some imbecile thought he'd take advantage of you. if you'd been any more drunk, you would have been a victim— wound up lifeless in a dirty ditch.
you burned with fury, your blood boiling under your skin. how dare he? how dare he?
simon softly touches your tightly clenched hands, coaxing your fingers to unfurl.
everything pulls hard to port when your eyes land on his disfigured knuckles— scarred by battle. you've never liked what simon did for a living. he just fought and killed people that some higher-up told him were the bad guys.
in war, there is no good or bad side. the field is too soaked in blood for anyone to recognize where the line is if there even was one to begin with.
until now. just this once, you couldn't be more grateful that simon possesses the skills he does.
you make your decision. "there was a guy in there. green hat, ugly brown jacket with yellow, crooked teeth. he drugged my beer, then toasted me so i would drink it."
his hands tighten around yours marginally. "and now i'm here, safe, with you. but he's still in there, with potentially a pocket full of pills, on the lookout for his next victim. how am i supposed to sleep tonight, knowing that if someone goes missing tonight, the blood will be on my hands?"
you cut your eyes to his dark, hardened ones, and the words tumble out of your mouth with surprising ease.
"there's trash in there that needs throwing out, simon."
nothing but a wretched mongrel that needs to be put down.
simon's nod is subtle, but it's there. you exhale a shuddering breath, heart slamming against your ribcage.
he's a gun in your hand, and you've just pulled the trigger.
simon hands you the keys to the truck. "are you sober enough to drive home?" he quietly asks.
hard to keep a buzz when you almost became a victim of—
"yes."
he's opening the glove compartment, taking out his skeleton gloves, and a tac knife that he tucks inside the waistband of his jeans.
"go home. i'll see ya in a bit." his voice is flat, lifeless.
simon closes the door and raps his knuckles on the hood of the truck before heading inside.
and so the elephant marches to war.
-
it's well past midnight when he crawls in through your window. one moment his boots are on the windowsill, the next he's pinning you onto your mattress, hips flush against yours.
his chilly, clean hands lift the hem of your loose shirt, dimpling the soft skin that his fingers dig into— his bare lips grazing the shell of your ear.
"he is no longer a problem."
he grinds his clothed erection against the flimsy fabric of your sleeping shorts.
"you did the right thing by telling me what he did."
simon trails a path of open-mouthed kisses from your ear down to your mouth, licking your bottom lip.
"nothing gets me harder than when my girl looks at me to keep her safe."
your breath hitches when a hand begins to move south, lifting the waistband of your bottoms and sliding his fingers over your slick pussy. "it seems you like it too. does it turn you on, ordering me around like a dog? i bark at your command, pet."
one finger sinks into your wet heat, his groan drowning out your own.
"you like having this much power over me? how easily i bend to your will?" he croons.
there are two fingers in you now, so much thicker than your own, and the way they curl and drag along your nerves has your toes tingling. he takes you to the precipice at frightening speed— the expert hands that kill without remorse are the same ones that are bringing you your pleasure.
he thrusts his fingers into you with an obscene squelch and a thumb circles your slippery clit.
"i'd burn the world to ashes if you asked it of me."
the coil in your stomach is tight, your body tense in anticipation.
"so... would you? would you ask me to bring the world to its very knees?"
the answer sits on the tip of your tongue when you climax around his fingers, walls pulsing rhythmically, arousal dripping from his knuckles.
later will be a good time to reflect on how you don't feel even remotely guilty for what's been done.
for now, you focus on how good simon feels as he slowly sinks into you, splitting you wide open with his heavy cock.
-
simon finds no pills in the guy's pockets. no baggie, no bottle.
nothing.
shame that his little love has declared the guy's life forfeit.
your wish is his command.
5K notes · View notes
thethirdtriplet · 6 months
Text
Headcanon for the Bats:
The Bats are absolute menaces to society, in their own weird and unique ways.
—————
Dick refuses to be referred to as anything but “Dick” when in public with his family or even his friends, so no, he will not be referred to by his legal name or any of his common nicknames, but any and all variations or nicknames for “Dick” (Dickie, Dikehead, ect…) are acceptable:
It almost makes Dick a little too happy when any of his siblings yells “Dick” in a crowded room or public place.
One woman actually yelled at Dick and his siblings for their language, that is, until he informed her that Dick is his name. She was so embarrassed she turned a deep shade of red and she apologised.
Dick tried to hide his smirk because he's an absolutely horrible person. His siblings are not impressed, and refuse to admit that it’s kinda funny.
—————
On Father’s Day, Bruce receives a multitude of gifts from his children (whether legal, emotional or biological), as a joke he has to receive at least one gift that has “worst parent ever” on it, from one of them. And while he loves all of the gifts (gag gifts or sentimental) equally, he still has his favourites:
Bruce might enjoy the utter horror and unease a little more than necessary as he uses the thermos Jason bought him for Father’s Day with the words ��worst dad ever”, printed on the front, in bright red for all to see.
He is currently forced to endure attending yet another board meeting when one -brave but stupid- new board member made a rather rude comment about how Bruce’s kids shouldn’t disrespect him with such gifts. Which prompts Bruce to go on a tirade about how he should mind his own business, and never speak about any of his kids like that. It got so bad, and he was so furious, that none of the other board members mentioned that the meeting would be ending soon. By the end of Bruce’s speech, their time was up and the meeting had to end.
Not that Bruce was finished. The next day, to work, bruce wore the bright blue tie Dick had gotten him, holding the mug Tim got him that had “Not the best parent, but I am trying my best.” printed on it. And he has continued to wear the things his kids buy him to work, without fail.
No one mentions anything about his clothing choices or the mugs (yes, mugs because there’re multiple mugs with equally concerning words printed on all of them), because if they do, he will go on a tirade about his kids and how much he loves them, and no work will get done.
4K notes · View notes
evilminji · 1 year
Text
Actually? You know what would be darkly hilarious?
If, when the GIW can't get ghosts declared both malicious AND non-sapient/sentient? They push for "dumb animals" instead.
Which is accepted. Ghosts are animals. Checks out, says scientists everywhere.
HOW "dumb"?
What? Says the GIW, mid-victory high fives. They did not expect a follow up question. They SHOULD have, as this is the SCIENTIFIC community and that is literally their job, but here we are.
How. "Dumb"? The scientists repeate slower. What methodology did you use? What is your sample size? Are their different sub-species? Is this dimension like ours? Is Ghost the equivalent to Mammal? It says here their are humanoid ones.
What IQ are we talking about here and HOW DID YOU TEST??
A goldfish, parrot, and dolphin are all animals. WILDLY different levels of intelligence. You can't treat them the same. Technically speaking, WE are animals.
The GIW does not like where this conversation is going. Tries to shut it down.
.......well NOW the scientists are both offended AND invested. How DARE you try to push faulty science and hide the Truth from them! They're gonna do their OWN studies! *picks up the phone and dials that one embarrassing spiritualist friend they had in college* Hey! You still think you can summon ghosts? I'll pay you to try it for Science!
And like? As a Ghost? It's degrading as hell. But ALSO these fuckos just Whoopsie'd you into having both protections under the law, since animal abuse IS illegal, AND just put the ENTIRE planets scientific community on their asses.... by accident.
So you take a deeeeeeep breath you don't even need. Remember you're doing this for the little ghost babies and fluffy ghost animals. And show up at a research facility like "yes, hello, I am Ghost. Here for you to poke and prod at. Please ask me to name the object on the flash card or whatever IQ tests do these days."
Should you HAVE to prove your own fucking sentience? No. But? You do it. You're even polite about it. Ask for a copy of the study they plan to publish so you can BEAT some mother fuckers with it. The scientists nod in understanding and use the BIG font for your copy so it'll hurt more.
They've been there.
And just? Shitty people getting what they wanted only to have it blow up in their faces?? I see all these angst "but what if they were declared ANIMALS" prompts and I just?? Are we talking PARROT or goldfish!? One has the average intelligence of about a human 4yr old and the other is a FISH! People get RIGHTFULLY furious when you treat INTELLIGENT animals badly.
And would, in fact, adapt pretty easy to discovering one of said animal has become HUMAN lvl intelligent. It's easy to grasp the idea of human intelligence lvl dolphin or monkeys. Maybe there was some mutated strain, maybe in uetro tampering. Who knows. But if I tried to sell you a human intelligent housefly? Gold fish? Lizard?
You wouldn't believe me. There is some kind of trick at play.
So if GHOSTS are seen as animals? Everyone nods and then later? Someone comes in TV and very excitedly informs you "we found INTELLIGENT LIFE amongst the ghosts!" You'd believe it. Probably be really excited by your conversation starter for the day. Get a taco and move on with your life.
But? Having to willing sit for a barrage of testing? Is going to suuuuuuck so bad. Poor Danny. SATs all over again. For HOURS. At multiple facilities, just to be CERTAIN it's not a one off. All because he not certain he can insure good behavior from other ghosts and This Is IMPORTANT. He ALSO can't be certain it's even SAFE.
Might be a trap.
But if he has to do it again and again and again? Mexico to Bavaria to China to the Maldives? If this is what it takes for the scientific community to bitchslap the GIW into ORBIT before the UN? Hand him that pencil.
He has no where more important to be.
@hdgnj @nerdpoe @mutable-manifestation @ailithnight @the-witchhunter
5K notes · View notes
antiwhores · 3 months
Text
Your co-workers like to bully you.
Atleast thats what Bakugou suspected. He had to make an educated guess after your gloomy, closed off behavior everyday after work.
Bakugou works as a pro hero, no one gets to bully him in his work environment. But you work a humble job at a library about a mile or so away. He told you that you didn’t need to work the job since he brought more than enough money to the table to support you and him. But you insisted on working a job to “help” the both of you out. He accepted your money after a long debate with the conditions that you only pay for the phone bills.
You seemed to like your job though. In the early weeks of getting it he remembers you practically bouncing at the walls when you came home. You’d be bussing to talk about the newest work drama, the new book you read, a customer, etc.
He got into the habit of sitting down in the living room when he was home and waiting for you to come to him and sit on his lap. Then you’d tell him of your clearly exaggerated adventures of the day while he played with your hair.
But recently those nights were followed by not the usual fun answers, but dry answers to questions he asked to try to promote a stream of words from you.
He started to really get suspicious when you downright said no to him when he asked you to tell him about his day.
So he did what he did best and stuck his nose into your business.
He knew he couldn’t figure it out by himself without getting caught so he hired someone to figure it out for him.
A full on spy. A man that he met in the work field that owed him a favor after he saved his life.
“Is this really what you wanna cash out your favor on?” The man questioned.
Bakugou scoffed, “Just fuckin’ do it and stop questioning me.”
After two days the man reported back to Bakugou. Apparently, a group of coworkers had been harassing you. Talking shit, snarky comments, stealing your lunches, hiding your paperwork, etc.
Bakugou was fucking furious.
He stomped down to your work place, hero suit still on, and demanded to see the higher ups. They tried to stop him but he wouldn’t let up. No way some piece of shit workers were gonna bully his girl. He wouldn’t allow it!
To his luck, the district director was in a meeting with all the other higher ups. He busted into the meeting room, furious as ever. They were startled, dropping their pens and gasping.
After the shock went away, the noticed who this brash man was.
“Dynamight, sir, how can we help you?” The director spoke carefully. She recognized how Bakugou had a higher status than her. He could get them all fired by a phone call.
“Your shitty employees have been fucking with one of your hardest workers. I had my men come in and investigate and…”
He went into detail on what they’ve been doing to not just you, but other employees in the building. He degraded their department, saying that its a disgraceful work environment.
After he was done, his face was still red with anger. But he wasn’t the only one red. The district director was practically a tomato.
“I am so embarrassed and disappointed hearing this. They will be fired immediately. I am really sorry, Dynamight. I will make sure that they won’t be able to work at any other library in this district.”
He scoffed, turning around to head for the door. “Make it any other library in Japan.”
“Yes sir.” He said as Bakugou slammed the door behind him.
You came home happy that night and for the first time in a while, you told him about your (exaggerated) day.
3K notes · View notes
inkskinned · 11 months
Text
it's just that there's a few more steps you have to take that other people don't have to take, but they don't see the steps, so they think you should be able to hop from moment to moment, a chickadee.
it isn't getting out of bed. it is the weight, the hook in your chest, the anchor. you have to move the anchor first. you have to silence your alarm, but your phone is in your hand, which means now you have to put the phone down, which is too-hard. you get stuck in there for a while, the white screen, mindlessly scrolling. you don't even like this activity, have tried a few other options but - here you are, and time is passing.
you've googled iron deficiency causes depression and if i drink enough water does it help with mental illness and anxiety but no caffiene within the last two weeks, like how you googled am i gay quiz at 17.
it isn't just calling the doctor back, it's the anxiety, it's these little moths in your lung cavities, furious and fluttering. you need to figure out how to capture your fingers from between their nervous bodies. you are an adult, you can say the words yes hi, i'm calling because i need - but you need to practice first. maybe write it down because what if you misspeak, wouldn't that be embarrassing. write it down, but you need to find a pen first. well, actually, your desk is kind of messy. you should get a new pen. you should get a new organizational system. you should try journaling.
your grades in school were always strange. the way teachers would say things like it feels like you're not trying. you could touch stars in the stuff you cared about. well, sometimes. god be willing. homework average zero. oops! your english teacher's wrinkled brow: i know you know this stuff. what the fuck are you doing?
it isn't the showering, it's the mirror before the shower and the soft horrible pull of your naked physique. you have to avoid eye contact completely or else it'll be 93 minutes later and you'll have picked at your skin until every little pore is bleeding. you have to stand up but standing is tiring and also you should have remembered to buy more soap but you never remember anything. maybe get out of the shower and while it's still running and you're still dripping wet, use your phone to take a note. make a note to get your groceries. let the shower run while you stand half-in half-out and get lost in your phone for a moment. come back out when the water runs cold and now you have to sprint to get ready.
your grandmother's frown. you're just being lazy. protestant work ethics in a house that isn't even protestant. she says she just learned different but she means learned better, doesn't she.
it's not that you can't send the email, it's that your hands have been hurting lately and the desk really is messy and also why the fuck would you even care about this thing? doesn't everyone else feel like they're drowning? hi brendon thanks so much for sending! will review and get back to you shortly. but now you're on the internet, close the tab with tumblr on it. go on, close it. feel the little soft vapor of boredom come up and over your eyeteeth and make everything overwhelming and itchy.
literally all you have to do is put on shoes to go outside. you're literally already dressed, that's the hard part of this whole thing. literally just put the shoes on. just... do it! do it! this shit is easy!
it's literally that easy. just stop taking all those stupid invisible steps. stop following your strange made-up rules. times like this, even you're positive you're faking. you just don't want to bother with the cleaning and the cooking and the being-an-adult.
but then - shouldn't you be able to put these stupid shoes on? nobody's even looking. go on kid. life is out there! just take the leap!
get moving.
4K notes · View notes
seresinhangmanjake · 3 months
Text
His
Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen x reader
Tumblr media
Summary: You used to be a Lady, a daughter of a Great House until Feyd took you. Since then, your sole purpose has been to warm his bed, but when Rabban asks about having you for himself, Feyd makes a choice that changes your future.
Words: 2600
Notes: Possessiveness. Grumpy Feyd. I know it's similar to another one of my fics, but I realized that after the fact, so...
Feyd-Rautha Masterlist
You didn’t sleep. Not a wink. You laid in his bed all night, waiting for the man who never came, and your heart didn’t cease its ferocious beats for a second. Where is he? Why isn’t he here? Is he ok? What happened? The sun rises without answers to those questions. 
You shoot up in bed when the door eases open. Expecting to find him, you’re disappointed to see instead his harpies enter one after the other. They don’t look at you. One goes about riffling through your dresses in the closet, one heads into the bathroom and you suddenly hear a rush of water filling the tub, and the last of them goes to the vanity Feyd brought in for you, lining up makeup and hair pins that she intends to use on you. 
The air about them is poised—an echo of who they used to be before they were turned into pets—as, for the moment, their vile, more carnivorous side lies dormant. 
Feyd only allows them to near you a couple hours after they’ve been fed; the peak time between their hunger sated and their bellies rumbling. At any other time, your uniquely foreign scent wafts to their nostrils and they are incapable of holding themselves back. More than a handful of instances—when they’ve managed to manipulate the guards to open their cages with their seductive smiles—they’ve gone on the hunt for you; one time in particular, sneaking into the bedroom in the middle of the night and yanking you from Feyd’s arms with the intention of sinking their teeth into your flesh. Feyd had been so furious he’d cut a finger from each of their hands. 
Still, they don’t scare you. You see in them women not entirely unlike yourself: owned, and therefore, changed. Soft are the women who have had the luxury of marriage and child-rearing in the comforts of wealth and beautiful homes—and good for them; how lovely to be soft—but it is the women who have not a choice in their existence that develop a steel shell. And you and the harpies have steel shells. In that way, they are your kin, and you try to subtly express that when you can, even though their allegiance to Feyd can make that quite difficult.
“Where is he?” you ask. 
They ignore you, continuing with their tasks, and you huff. Yes, sometimes they refuse to speak with you, and always it seems when you need their words most. In the past, you’ve been tempted to dangle your arm in front of their sharpened fangs in the hope that the offering will encourage their cooperation, but you’ve yet to find the bravery for that. Plus, Feyd would lose his mind. Well, he would lose the rest of it. 
“You’ve spoken to me before,” you continue. “Why not now?”
One of them stops and faces you. She glances at her sister who shakes her head. 
“Tell me,” you plead. 
“We are not permitted to speak with you on the matter,” the other says to your frustration. That is not good enough. Regardless of how he sees you and how you feel, he is the one thing keeping you alive on this lifeless planet and you refuse to go about your days worrying over his safety and what his disappearance means for your fate.
You throw the sheets off your legs and stand. 
“I don’t care,” you spit as your silky nightgown falls at your ankles, but then you reconsider your tone. The harpies do not do well with aggression. Being so animalistic, their instincts are easily drawn out, and they tend to attack when attacked, which is not a fight you would win. 
You take a calming breath, placing a hand over your heart. “We are the same. He owns us, he clothes us, he feeds us,” you remind them. “On this planet, I am as much your sister as you are each other’s. We all care about him in a way and if I knew what happened to him, I would have the decency to tell you.”
The harpy who drew your bath returns to the bedroom. Having overheard your words, she crosses her arms and says, “With respect, my Lady, we are not your sisters,” she says. “We have never had him the way you have, and he does not feel for us the way he does you.” 
Your clenched jaw loosens, lips parting. If you had assumed anything about the relationship between Feyd-Rautha and his harpies, it was that they had once been where you are; that when you came along, they lost their rank and became something alike the handmaids from your home world. You’d assumed that when they warmed his bed, their handmaids were the women who entertained him before them, and so on like a disgusting, perverted pattern. But if that is not the case, then your sense of identity is even more confused. Not to mention, nary a soul has referred to you as ‘Lady’ since you were taken from your family. So why show that respect now when Feyd practically stripped you of the title months ago? 
You look to the only one of the three who seems unsure of the situation. She’s biting her lip, worrying the fabric of your unworn gown between her fingers. 
“What about you?” you ask her and her head lifts to meet your eyes. She’s the smallest of them—pixie-esque, like you read in fairytale stories as a child—and despite the core of their primal nature, the gentlest. “You want to tell me.”
The harpy by your vanity hisses, but the gentle one does not shy away at the warning. “She has been kind to us,” she tells her sister in the most self-assured tone you’ve ever heard leave her mouth. 
The sister snaps back. “He instructed us to do one thing: get her ready for the day and act like nothing is wrong. It was not to tell her what happened.”
You lightly gasp. “So something has happened,” you state, feeling your heartbeat quicken. Your chest begins to rise and fall to match the rapid rate. “Is he ok?”
There are a few seconds of silent pause before Pixie stands a little straighter, setting her shoulders in a strong line. “Our Lord na-Baron was answering for the death of his brother.”
Your head jerks back. “Rabban?” you question, your brow pinching. “Rabban is dead?”
“Yes, my Lady.”
“And Feyd is the one who killed him?” That doesn’t make any sense. While Feyd has complained enough for you to know Rabban is a bumbling idiot, he eventually found a way for his brother to serve a purpose. Why would he kill a man when he is no longer the nuisance he once was, you wonder, so you ask, “Why?”
“The Lord Rabban…made suggestions,” Pixie tells you. One of the harpies groans as the other shakes her head.
“What suggestions?”
She bites down and swallows hard, then she says, “He suggested that the na-Baron share you for his own pleasure.”
Instantly, you’re hit with a wave of nausea. Share? Share you? The concept of a foreign woman hopping between men of status is not unusual, but at this point, you assumed if Feyd were going to participate in something like that, he would have sent you off already. Not doing so didn’t even surprise you. He’s too possessive. 
“You said he was answering for Rabban’s death,” you say, but answering for that surely wouldn’t have taken so many hours, not when the Baron saw Rabban as a waste of space. “So where is he now?”
He doesn’t notice when you step into the training room and you’re thankful for that. You came on a mission to extract more answers out of him, but you don’t mind having a second to admire him sparing against his trainer. 
He’s sweaty. You like him sweaty—sweaty and bare-chested and perfectly, effortlessly mesmerizing as aggressive grunts leave his lips. You silently watch their violent dance, your form mouse-like by the door until his trainer looks up and halts to stare at you. Feyd whips around to follow his line of sight, then he sighs and turns back to the smaller man. He mutters something as he grabs the rag at his belt and runs it down his face. 
The trainer leaves and Feyd places his knife back on the table among many others. “I told them to keep you away today,” he says dully, monotone, not meeting your eyes as he runs his finger over the blade and fiddles with the hilt. “Incompetent brats.” 
“You didn’t come to bed.”
“I was busy,” he responds without letting a beat pass. He continues to avoid your stare and mess with the knives as if he’s never wielded them before.
You slowly step down the stairs into the pit of the room. “Busy killing your brother?” you ask. The muscles in his back twitch and flex under pale skin as he grips the hilt harder. 
“That is none of your concern.” The distance between you lessens until you’re a foot from his back, but he doesn’t turn around. 
“Even though you killed him because of me?” you ask. His neck ticks and his head tilts and shifts to adjust to the tension. When he still doesn’t respond, you try another angle. “Why are your harpies referring to me as their ‘Lady’?”
That seems to do it. Feyd faces you, crosses his arms, and leans his lower back against the table. “You think spending one night without me gives you permission to be nosy?”
You don’t give in to his method of shutting you up by aiming to make you feel silly and guilty. Instead, your eyes narrow and you mirror the crossing of arms. “Why am I a Lady again?”   
“You just are.”  
“Are you sending me home?”
His eyes flash. Blue irises darken a shade. “Don’t be stupid.”
“So I’m a Lady on Giedi Prime?” you ask, dropping your chin to emphasize how ridiculous that sounds. 
The edge of Feyd’s jaw sharpens as he clenches his back teeth. “Stop asking questions.”
“Then answer one,” you say. 
It’s a shot taken by an untrained hand, as he doesn’t enjoy demands, especially not from you, but you figure you have nothing to lose in the attempt, so you don’t cower under his menacing glare. You wait. And much to your surprise, he surrenders. 
He blinks, and when his eyes open, they have softened ever so slightly. Then he says, “You’re marrying me,” and everything from your lungs to your limbs freezes in shock. 
“W–What?” you stutter. That makes less sense than Rabban’s sudden death. 
Feyd groans and stands straight, his arms falling at his sides. “See what being nosy gets you?” he snaps. “I wasn’t going to tell you immediately, and you had to go and ruin it.”
He grabs a fresh knife and stomps his way over to a dummy, ready to attack something other than you for the insecurity that he can’t completely contain. You’ve never witnessed him insecure, but you know the feeling when you see it—the defense mechanism, the distancing himself, the grumbly attitude. 
“I’m not sure I understand,” you press as he slashes and stabs at the soulless victim. “I’m marrying you because you killed your brother for wanting to fuck me?”
With a grunt, the dummy’s head severs from its torso and flies off in your direction. It rolls and rolls and stops just before hitting your feet. The dead eyes stare up at you in silent amusement. Now you’ve done it, they mock.
“I don’t ever want to hear those words come out of your mouth again, do you understand me?” Feyd growls.
Your eyes shoot to his. “The marrying you part or The your brother fucking me part?”
He tosses the knife aside. It clatters against the ground as he closes in on you. His hand wraps around your neck. “Don't test me,” he grits out through clenched teeth. “I will sew your damn lips shut if I have to.”
An empty threat if you’ve ever heard one. He would never harm you, but even if he were going to try, his fingers would need to be squeezing much tighter.
You roll your eyes. “Well then how am I going to suck your cock?”
Something about the tease stuns him. His tense features immediately settle and his whole body eases with his exhale. Glancing at your lips, he licks his own, and you think he might decide to kiss you—after all, it’s been a good twenty-four hours since the last one—but he doesn’t.
You snort. “Didn’t think that one through, did you.”
Long fingers unwrap from around your neck. “You’re not funny,” he mumbles with an odd sense of shame.
“If you don’t find me entertaining, can you maybe take the time to explain all of this better?”   
Feyd considers keeping his mouth shut. You know him well enough to know that. However, it’s ridiculous to contemplate since he’s already spilled the bigger news. Nothing could be more shocking than you, after the bed-warming position you’ve held for months, becoming his wife. 
“My uncle was going to take you away from me for killing Rabban,” he finally says. “So I told him I've had plans to marry you for the alliance and that's why I refused to share you. Rabban wouldn’t take no for an answer, so he had to die.”
Raising a brow, you say, “The Baron accepted that explanation? My House may be one of the Greats, but we do not offer much for Giedi Prime.”
Feyd shrugs. “My uncle enjoys anything that causes upset. Marrying me means we will always own something very valuable to your family.”
It would likely offend another, but you don’t mind being owned. While the Baron may believe the Harkonnens as a whole will own you, you belong to Feyd and Feyd alone. He’ll never allow anyone to hurt you and now he’ll never have to fight or argue with anyone to stake his claim, which works for you just fine, to say the very least. 
“Thank you,” you say.
“For what?”
Your head tilts as you smile. “Caring enough to protect me.”
“Don't flatter yourself,” he says. “I didn't do it for you, I did it for my own benefit.”
Your sweet smile morphs into a smirk. “The benefit being that you get to keep me all to yourself…for the rest of your life.”
With a scoff, Feyd rolls his eyes and crosses his arms again. “Whatever.”
“Feyd…” you sigh, leaning into him.
“What?” he returns in his snarky tone as if he doesn’t want you near, but he doesn’t step out of the bubble of your space.
“I'm happy.”
A pink tinge sneaks onto his pale skin, and he quickly looks away. And before he has a chance to come up with some witty remark to smack you with, you grab his face and press your lips to his. 
You hold on to him until he starts to kiss you back, and then he's reaching for you, pulling you close, wrapping his arms around you, and you know you won't be going anywhere for a good long while.
1K notes · View notes
harrowharkwife · 2 years
Text
having an ableist #Autism Mommy narcissist for a mother never gets less tiresome/hurtful/infuriating/disappointing/just plan embarrassing, huh?
#will delete later don't rb#im just. sick and fucking tired of getting my feelings hurt#this is why i don't talk about her and this is why i can't handle dwelling on how bad of a mother she is.#it always just ends with me crying and feeling like a pathetic and unwanted and embarrassed little freak#some part of me is stuck being the weird little middle school version of me#who constantly felt sad and jealous and just. sad. whenever i went to friends houses or heard them talk about their moms.#because all my friends moms loved them. and all my friends were best friends with their moms.#and i never got to have that. and i never will. and it makes me so fucking jealous and envious and furious and just. sad#is the word for it really. just sad.#your mom is the one person on earth who's supposed to love you no matter what. and you're bombarded with that message as a kid#so if your mom doesn't love you... what's wrong with you?#i know NOW that that's not how it actually works & that it's not my fault & that it's her problem not mine#but. sometimes one stupid text from her will still just derail my whole day and suddenly I'm 12 years old again.#it is such a lonely and isolating feeling growing up as a girl who isn't best friends with her mom.#some part of me is always going to want to grovel and bend over backwards and disregard all my own emotions just to feel like she loves me.#or hell even LIKES me!#and i know it's not a healthy instinct and its one i need to fight and ignore for my own good. but like.#i just want my mom. :( and i just want her to be proud of me and like spending time with me and care about how i feel.#i want to feel safe going to her for help with things. or even just a hug when I'm sad. but i don't get to have that. and it sucks.#yes i AM watching b*ck b*gins what about it. anyway. sorry for having mommy issues on main. gonna go dig a hole and die in it now#the eternal struggle between standing up for myself vs jumping thru the hoops required to make my mom give a shit about me
1 note · View note