#yes i know english only has four but after all those years i still get them confused every time

[f1goat]

more than friends ; lando norris + part four

In which your best friend is going to help you to gain more sexual experience and say goodbye to your insecurities, but he's quick to discover that he never wants to share you and your new experiences with others - the only problem being, him having to confess his feelings.

masterlist - playlist

fem!y/n x lando norris

warnings: smut with a plot. minors dni! probably grammar or spelling errors due to english not being my first language.

requested: yes, based on this request: something with a driver sister that’s still a virgin & lando (her bestfriend) suggests to teach her things

a/n: this is a rewritten story, you can find the explanation on my profile

part one / part two / part three

“Lan,” you shyly start your sentence, “when erm, when are we going to have sex?” You continue your question. You feel your cheeks reddening while asking your friend that question. Lando almost drops his phone when he hears your question. He sends you a confused look. 

“What’s with the hurry?” He asks you with the same confused tone in his voice. 

You let out a nervous laugh. “This is going to sound really stupid,” you confess, “but there’s this guy who asked me on a date.” 

“So?” Lando asks. He already feels his jealousy coming up. Someone asked you on a date? He wonders who asked you and if you said yes to the guy. Maybe Max was right and he should just ask you on a date himself. Maybe that would stop this mess.

“I kinda want to say yes,” you tell Lando nervously, “but I want to wait for when I’m not a virgin anymore.” Lando shoots you another confused look, he doesn’t get why that would help with the date. “I uh, think it’s better for my confidence,” you explain. You don’t mention that you want to make sure that Lando is the one who takes your virginity. 

Lando stays silent for a couple minutes. He thinks about how he can handle this properly. His first choice would be to let you stall the date for like forever, but he knows that will only bite him in the ass. “How long can you stall him?” Lando asks you eventually. When you keep your silence to think, Lando adds a few more words. “I don’t think it’s smart to rush this,” he explains himself.

“I already told him that I’d be away for three weeks,” you reply, “so at least that time. And maybe I can add another week when we’re back, blaming it on a jet lag or something.”

Lando feels a bit more relieved. Three or four weeks. A lot can change in that time, right? Maybe he will finally find the confidence to tell you about his feelings for you. Maybe not. Probably not, now that he thinks of it. He has this feelings for you since forever and all those years weren’t enough for him to gain the confidence to tell you… He lets out a soft sigh, he needs to think of a plan. 

“That’ll work I guess,” Lando says eventually.

“So what’s next?” You ask Lando, “I feel like there’s so much you still have to teach me.”

“Relax babygirl,” Lando says, “I think we first need to focus on how I’m going to pack my suitcase with stuff for three weeks in only an hour.” 

“You didn’t pack yet?” You ask Lando, “We’re leaving in an hour!”

“Oops?” Lando laughs. 

You let out a sigh. It doesn’t even surprise you that Lando didn’t pack yet. “You never change,” you tell Lando with a small smile on your face. Then you stand up to help Lando pack his stuff, just like you always do. It doesn’t take the two of you that long to pack all his stuff. Like always, you secretly put some shirts and short pants into Lando his luggage. He’s always to stubborn to pack anything else then hoodies, and that without checking the weather. Something you did for sure when you packed your own stuff, so you know for sure that he can use some clothes that’s more suitable for the hot weather. 

“Thanks babygirl,” Lando says after closing the last zipper from his suitcase. He moves closer to you and presses a soft kiss against your forehead. You don’t know what has gotten into you, but you are quick to press your lips against Lando his lips. Without giving it a second thought, you kiss Lando. You feel him smiling through the kiss. He pulls you closely to himself and wraps his arms around your body.

The kiss was meant innocent and short, but Lando is quick to turn it into something more. His hands are roaming over your body. It doesn’t take him long before finding your ass and giving it a couple squeezes. You let out a soft moan. You feel it vibrate against Lando his lips. 

Lando his ringtone distracts the both of you from what you’re doing. You watch how he picks his phone up and say a simple okay after a few seconds of listening. “The cab is here,” he informs you, you reply with a small nod. Lando grabs his luggage and as much of yours as he can manage. Leaving you to only hold two small bags with your own stuff. 

“You know, you’re a great kisser,” Lando says while walking towards the cab.

“I learned from the best,” you joke with an innocent smile.

Lando lets out a soft laugh. “Imagine how great you will be with everything else with such a good teacher,” he continues to joke.

“We’ll see.”

+++

Lando sighs when he takes place in his drivers room. You don’t know what to say to him. He just lost a great qualifying lap due to track limits. If he didn’t lose the lap, he would have started second tomorrow. You are pretty sure that Lando is really mad at himself right now. He always is. Whenever something doesn’t go perfect, he’s blaming himself for it. Right now Lando is softly muttering to himself. You can’t hear exactly what he’s saying, but you guess it’s something in the line of him calling himself an idiot and a bad driver. It makes you feel hurt. You have been here for a lot of his highs and lows since he has his seat with McLaren. You have seen him upset with himself many times before, but it never hurts less. 

“Lan,” you softly say, hoping for a response. He doesn’t even look at you while responding. “Don’t say it’s not my fault,” Lando states, “I’m the one who get track limits. I’m the one to blame. I’m the one who fucked up.”

You think about what to say, but you know that a lot of you guesses aren’t the right one. You can say so many things to Lando about he will do better tomorrow and that he’s still starting in the top ten, but it’s not what he wants to hear right now. Eventually you decide to throw it on a whole other subject.

“Maybe I can cheer you up?” You suggests.

Lando looks up and stares at you. “Cheer me up?” He asks confused. 

“Distract you a bit,” you continue shyly. 

“What do you mean babygirl?” Lando asks you even more confused.

“What about another lesson?” You ask Lando, “You could teach me how to give you a blowjob.”

“You don’t have to,” Lando quickly says, “I didn’t even went down on you yet.”

“I want to,” you reply to him, “and I think it will do a great job with cheering you up.” 

“Sure?” Lando asks a bit confused. You nod. “Words babygirl,” Lando reminds you about his need for you to say everything out loud. “Yes Lando,” you say, “I want to give you a blowjob.” Lando his facial expressions are quick to brighten up. He’s already smiling while thinking about your lips around his dick. It even causes his dick to get hard already. 

“But, you need to tell me what to do,” you tell Lando a bit nervous. He nods eagerly. Then he grabs one of your hands and brings it to his boner. You don’t wait for another instruction and start to palm his boner through his race suit. Lando stays silent for a while, enjoying your slow movements in peace. When you apply a bit more pressure, the first soft moan leaves his lips. In the mean time you press a kiss against Lando his cheek. 

After a few minutes of moving slowly with your hand on his bulge, you try to grab his dick through his race suit. Lando groans when he feels your hand on his dick. He wants nothing more then to feel your skin on his own. He needs to lose the suit. Without thinking about it Lando pulls down the zipper of his race suit. While he unzips his suit, you take a good look at him. It’s almost unfair how good Lando is looking. Since when does his fireproof so much to you?

“Can I take it off?” Lando asks you. 

“Yes please,” you are eager to answer. 

You move your hands away from him, giving him the space to pull of his race suit. Lando grins because of your reaction. He kicks off his shoes and then removes his suit from his body. It feels so strange to see Lando standing in front of you in only his underwear, but then you remember that he’ll lose those in a few seconds too. 

Before Lando can pull of his briefs, you move your lips against his bare chest. Softly you press multiple kisses against his chest. Slowly you move down towards his boxers. In the mean time you still have his boner in your hands. You stroke him softly. When you reach the edge with your mouth, you stop with stroking. Slowly you pull down Lando his boxers. His hard member is quick to pop out of his briefs. Lando finishes your action and takes his boxers off. 

You take your time to look at his dick. It’s the first you see in real life. Of course you have seen some porn movies before, so you have a clear image from how a dick can look. But in a weird way, Lando his member seems more appealing to you. His member is pretty, if you can say it like that. You never thought you’d find a dick pretty. Lando looks at you while you stare at his member. You notice the thick vein that’s laying on his dick. Now that you think about it, his whole boner seems to be at the thick side. Maybe it’s not as long as in the porn movies, but you already guesses that was a bit over the top. You wonder how Lando his thick member will fit inside your mouth and one day inside your vagina. 

“If you’re not sure, you don’t have to do this,” Lando tells you softly.

“No,” you quickly reply. “I want to do this, but you need to tell me what to do.”

Lando grins happily. He’s glad you still want to continue with this. He wasn’t sure if a cold shower would have helped this time. In the mean time you move your hands back to Lando his dick. Lando feels himself hardening under your touch. Has he ever been this hard? You slowly explore his member with your hand. At first you trace the vein laying on top of it with one of your fingers. Then you softly touch his tip. You wait for Lando to say something.

“Lick it a bit,” Lando instructs you. You notice the change of his voice tone. “Make it wet,” he adds. He almost sounds strict. It gives you weird butterflies. 

You take his words into action. Without giving it a second thought, you move your head closer to his member. Carefully you let your tongue come in contact with him. Slowly you lick around his member. Lando lets out a soft moan. You continue your movements. You let your tongue slide over his dick. Exploring the way it feels on your tongue. 

“Put it into your mouth babygirl,” Lando continues to instruct you. He needs to make sure that his dick has been inside your mouth before he cums. All the teasing you’re doing - without even knowing it, is already making him close to getting his orgasm. 

Again you do what Lando says. Carefully you take the top of his dick inside your mouth. Your mouth is quick to feel fulled up. You try to go as deep as you can, but you’re quick to feel some tears popping up in the corners of your eyes.

“Slowly baby,” Lando quickly says when he notices the tears as well, “you don’t have to take everything inside. The top is the most sensitive part.”

You pull back for a bit. Letting his member out of your mouth. Before taking it back inside, you take a deep breath. You try to remember Lando his words. You make sure that the top of his boner is inside your mouth. It feels like you have room for a bit more, so carefully you take him a bit deeper into your mouth. You remind yourself to take your time. Lando his hands has found their way into your hair. Softly he plays with your hair. You lick a bit around his tip with your tongue. Lando rewards you with a moan. It makes you feel good, giddy even, when he reacts like that. 

“Move your head up and down,” Lando instructs you, “Try to make the same stroking movement as before, but now with you mouth.”

Again you take Lando his words into action. Slowly you move your head up and down. You let your mouth slide over his dick a couple times. Lando lets out another moan. You feel proud to be the reason behind those moans. You suck a bit harder onto his dick. Without giving it a second thought, you use your hand to hold the part that doesn’t fit into your mouth. You start to stroke it, alining the movements with the bobbing you do with your mouth. 

“Fuck babygirl,” Lando groans, “You’re really good at this.”

His words make you feel even better. It causes you to fasten your movements. You try to lick his tip as well in the mean time. Lando is quick to become a moaning mess underneath your touch. You feel the way his dick is pulsing inside your mouth. 

“If you don’t want to taste, you should finish it with your hands,” Lando says after a while. You don’t act on his words. Simply you keep continuing your earlier movements. 

Lando can’t stop looking at you while feeling this close to his orgasm. He is still holding your hair in his hands, softly he tugs onto it for a bit. The way you stare at his dick while you’re making him feel like this, turns him on even more. There have been enough girls who have given him a blowjob, but none of them felt like this. He can’t understand how it is possible that you’re so good at everything already. How can it be that someone with no sexual experience is so much better then everyone else? It’s insane. 

“Last warning baby,” Lando warns you with a soft voice. You still don’t remove your mouth from his dick. If he didn’t said anything, you still could have guessed that he’s close to his orgasm. His moans are giving it away. They are becoming more messier and louder with the second. You try to take his dick even further into your mouth. Before you know it, you notice a salty taste inside your mouth. You’re quick to connect the dots and realize what just happened. Lando just came undone.

You decrease your pace, but still keep sucking him off. There are a couple more drops of Lando his cum that are finding their way inside of your mouth. When you think he’s completely empty, you remove your mouth from him. While looking at Lando you swallow his cum. 

“Fuck,” Lando groans, “I could cum again by looking at you doing that.”

You show Lando a small innocent smile. He pulls you onto himself. “Don’t look that innocent baby, not after what you just did,” he tells you. You can’t react to him. He is presses a soft kiss against your cheek before doing the same against your lips. 

“If I told you that this was the best blowjob of my life, would you believe me?” Lando asks you after a bit of a comfortable silence.

“No,” you reply while shaking your head.

“You just did babygirl,” Lando confesses, “I have never experienced a blowjob this good.”

You let out a soft chuckle. “Maybe that says something about the other blowjobs you have gotten,” you say.

“No,” Lando quickly states, “It says everything about you. You’re incredibly good at this baby. And you did find an excellent way to distract me from stupid qualifying lap.”

You laugh. “I’ll remember that for the next time,” you say jokingly. Lando laughs and nods eagerly. “But don’t beat yourself up because of it Lan. Everyone can make mistakes. I’m sure you’ll be fighting for great points tomorrow, I even dare to say that you’ll end up on the podium,” you tell Lando.

“If I get a podium, I’m celebrating with eating you out,” Lando states confidently.

“That’s not a celebration,” you laugh. 

“It is for me.”

Fuck, why is you stomach tightening because of Lando his words? This really can’t be good.

+++

Later that evening Lando and you are sitting in a small restaurant together. He’s sitting next to you, together you’re pressed up closely on a small couch. Oscar and Lily are sitting in front of you. Lando is getting more annoying with the second, he has hunger and absolutely no patience for his food to come. He already toyed with everything on the table and now it’s your turn apparently. 

Lando his hand finds your upper thigh. You almost jump up. He toys with the short skirt you’re wearing. When you feel his hand getting closer to your private parts, you stop him with you own hand. What is he doing? Lando is quick to find his way back to your thigh and squeezes it softly. You can’t help yourself and let out a soft whimper. 

“You okay Y/N?” Lily asks you. 

You send Lando an angry look before answering Oscars girlfriend. “Yeah, just hungry,” you tell her jokingly. It’s enough for Lando to give you a bit more space. He moves himself a bit more away from you. When you feel his hand leave your upper leg, you’re quick to take action. Within milliseconds you have his hand in your own and guide it back towards your thigh. With one stern look you hope he will behave himself. 

Before Lando can do anything stupid, the food is already arriving to your table. Quietly everyone takes their time to eat. Lando - who had a lot of hunger before, is the first one to finish. Meaning he is keeping up the conversations with Oscar, but also has his hands free again. While he talks to Oscar he lets his hand find it’s way back to your leg. 

At first you don’t give it any attention. But when you feel Lando his hand getting under your skirt and his fingers grace against your clothed pussy, you can’t help yourself anymore. You almost choke in a piece of your meal. Loudly you cough. Lando plays the worried friend and hands you your drink, while his other hand is still coming closer towards your private parts then before. You cough another few times, before standing up and announcing that you’re going to the bathroom. 

“You’re quite touchy,” Oscar mentions when you walk away. Lando gives his teammate and friend a confused look. It can’t be that Oscar noticed what he did, right? “You’re never this close to Y/N,” Oscar continues, “Are you two finally dating?” 

Lando laughs. Why does everyone think the two of you are dating? He wish it was like that. To answer Oscar he shakes his head and tells him no, “Still friends.”

“Sure about that?” Oscar asks his friend. Lando notices the way Lily is also looking at him with raised eyebrows. 

“I think I would notice it if I were dating with her, don’t you think?” Lando jokes a bit. He feels his phone vibrating in his pocket and decides to look at it. He’s quick to notice a message coming from you. 

Y/N: i hate you

Lando: you hate me?

Y/N: you made me horny

Lando doesn’t even notice that Oscar is talking to him, until Oscar says his name a couple times. “Then you must have gotten text messages from someone you’re dating with,” Oscar sighs. Lando sends him a confused look, “No, it’s Y/N,” he says even confused. Then he realizes that it probably wasn’t smart to say that you’re texting him. “She isn’t feeling well,” he quickly adds.

Lando: come back here, I told them you’re not feeling well

Lando: we can go back to the hotel right away

Lando: and then I might help you with your problem ;)

Y/N: you better help me with the problem you caused.

Lando smiles at his phone again. 

Not even twenty minutes later Lando and you are back at the hotel room you share together. Lando is pressed up against you. Something that happens quite a lot lately. His hands have found their way back to your thigh. You can’t stop yourself from letting out a soft whimper. 

“You’re the worst,” you softly say the Lando.

“The worst?” He asks you, “I think I’m the one who makes you feel the best you’ve ever done.” 

You can’t argue with that logic from him. Lando his hand is coming closer to where you want him the most right now. Teasingly he drags his finger over your panties a couple time. When you almost make another remark about him teasing you, Lando pulls your string aside. 

“I want to taste you,” Lando groans. He feels the wetness that he caused earlier. When he looks at you, he’s surprised to see you shake your head. Are you telling him no? “No?” He asks a bit confused. 

“First a podium,” you tell Lando teasingly. 

He lets out a grunt. 

“You wanted to celebrate like that,” you remind Lando, “so earn it tomorrow with a podium.”

Lando can’t help it and lets out a soft whine. “You’re the worst,” he repeats your earlier words to you. You don’t reply verbally, you just show Lando a innocent smile. It surprises you when Lando lets his finger enter you. You almost expected that he wasn’t going to continue as payback. His sudden movement cause you to let out a moan. 

When he uses his finger to draw circles on your clit, it doesn’t take you long to come close to your orgasm. “I’m close,” you tell Lando.

“How close?” He asks you. 

“Really close,” you confess.

“Ask for my permission,” Lando instructs you, “I won’t let you cum without it.”

You don’t even think about his words. Before you realize it, pleas are coming from your lips. Begging Lando to make you cum. “Please Lan,” you beg. Lando has a smug smile plastered on his face. He’s enjoying this way too much. He feels you whimpering underneath his touch. “Please,” you beg him again, “Make me cum.” 

“Cum babygirl,” he tells you eventually. He increases his pace and adds another finger into your pussy. It causes you to release everything within seconds. With a trail of moans you come undone. Lando removes his fingers and pulls you closer. He puts his fingers inside his mouth to suck them clean. 

“Now I really have to get a podium tomorrow,” he tells you a bit jokingly. You send him a confused look, still not getting his wish to eat you out. “This taste is already doing things to me,” Lando continues, “and I can’t wait to get addicted to it properly.” 

part five

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[pitchsidestories]

hate that I love you II Ana Maria Crnogorčević x Reader

masterlist I word count: 1759

a/n: we hope you enjoy reading the oneshot, we'd love to hear your thoughts on it. <3

warnings: slight smut in the middle, a bit of angst, but with a happy ending.🖤

“Ana!”, Keira shouted the name of your former Barca teammate, after the English midfielder has spotted the Swiss woman in the crowd.

The Champions league final was over, your team has won the title a second time in a row. But the celebratory mood you were in just a few seconds ago was gone at the sight of your ex-girlfriend. It made your blood turn cold.

“Ale, what the hell is Ana doing here? Who even invited her?”, you asked your captain furiously.

In an instant, she noticed your change of mood, that was why the midfielder replied cautiously:” I think some of the girls did or she just came to visit.”

“Oh, wow.”, you huffed, trying to get as far away from your former lover as possible. Seems like you weren’t that lucky this evening in Bilbao, she already had set her eyes on you, calling your name.

“Hi, y/n.”

“Ana. Sorry, but I got to go.”, you lied, while walking into the direction to the changing rooms.

“Where’s she going?”, Ana questioned as she was slowly following you..

“Isn’t that obvious? You broke up with her.”, Alexia reminded the taller woman.

“She still didn’t have to run away.”, the Swiss player mumbled, the hurt was written all over her face.

Meanwhile Keira who has been quiet after hugging her enthusiastically, joined their conversation with a low voice:” No but you ran away first, remember?”

“I didn’t. It was better that way.”, Ana corrected the English woman, before she headed into the changing room where you were standing all by yourself. The party was heading somewhere else already.

You heard her last words loud and clear: ”No, it wasn’t, you’ve chosen the cowardly way after almost four years of being together. You acted like that time meant nothing to you.”

Finally, you got the chance to tell her how devasted you were about her sudden move to Madrid.

“That’s not true. It wouldn’t have worked out long distance and you know that.”, the Swiss player disagreed.

“No, I don’t know that actually, because we never tried it!”, you protested.

“Yeah, sure. You were pouting because I left the team.”, Ana rolled her eyes annoyed at you.

Her behaviour only fed the anger you felt inside.

“Yes, because you told me those transfer news a day before you left for the capitol.”

“Because I knew you’d be pouting.”, she shot back, almost stumbling over the empty champagne bottles which were left on the ground.  

This moment felt almost like a symbol of your failed relationship as it started golden, perfect even, with your first ever champions league win during the covid period, and the following wins, which abruptly ended in shattered hopes and dreams.

You tore your gaze away from the champagne bottles and looked straight at Ana.

“Oh.“, you said, your jaw set. “Sorry that you meant something to me. What a fool I was. Hope you’re happy now.“

Anas face changed from a slight moment to confusion to immediate annoyance: “Oh my god, you can be so damn dramatic!“

“Why are you even here? You ruined a perfect final with your presence.“, you spat back.

Anas eyes sparkled with furiousness: “Oh I’m sorry. Sorry that my friends are still here and that this team still means something to me!“

You were taking aback by how loud her voice had gotten but you kept glaring at her: “Fine. Go and celebrate with them. But leave me alone!“

All of a sudden, you felt Anas weight on you as she pinned you against the wall of the changing room. You had to suppress a surprised shriek.

Ana tilted her head, her lips curved in the smallest hint of a smirk: “Or what?“

“Get your hands off of me!“, you said through gritted teeth.

“Make me.“, your ex-girlfriend challenged you.

In a heartbeat you leaned forward, pressing your lips onto Anas. Just when she started to return the kiss, you bit down hard on her lower lip.

She pulled back: “Hey!“

“Can I go now?“, you asked impatiently.

“No.“

You locked eyes with her again. Your voice was pure ice when you replied. “I hate you so much…“

Anas hand found its way into your ponytail, pulling on it roughly.

You hissed.

“Say that again.“, Ana ordered.

“What? I hate that I still love you…“

Anas grip on your hair loosened. “I know you do.“

“What about you?“, you asked. You hated that your voice still sounded so hopeful when you only wanted to despise the woman in front of you.

Your ex ignored your question deliberately. “You need to shut up now.“

“Go on.“

“I’ll.“

And suddenly, her lips were on yours again. Her body pressed so hard against your own that you could feel her heat on your skin. You kissed back with hunger while Ana shoved her thigh between your legs. Biting back a moan, you began to move against her.

Anas hands, in the meantime, had slipped under your jersey, exploring your skin with the lightest touch.

You knew you should not but you could not stop yourself. It was as if your body had taken control, taking what it had craved for so long.

Ana was in the motion of finally pulling your jersey over your head and your body tingled with excitement, when the door to the changing room was opened.

“Girls, we’re going to party!“, Keiras voice announced, before stopping herself. “Oh, seems like you already started.“

“Come back later.”, the Swiss woman told the midfielder in a casual tone as if the redhead couldn’t see the messy state, you two were in.

“See you girls.”, she muttered and closed the door again much to your own relief.

“Oh my god, that was embarrassing.”, you mumbled against the older player’s chest.

“Whatever. As if she cares.”, Ana shrugged.

“Right, Laura will distract her from what she just saw.”, you smirked while you thought about the happy couple.

“I’m sure.”, the blonde nodded.

“Thank god.”, you sighed, forever gratefully for the Austrian footballer.

“She came in at the worst time though. I was just getting into it.”, the older woman whispered into your ear, although you couldn’t see her face you could hear from her voice that she was smiling.

“Need a reminder where we stopped?”, you looked up to her, eyes sparkling.

“No. Come here.”, Ana shook her head, before continuing what she started, her touches even hungrier than before.

In between you put your hand on her body middle to stop her, asking the one question which was burning hot on your tongue:” Did you miss me in Madrid?”

“Of course. Every day.”, the Swiss player answered truthfully.

 “When why didn’t you say everything? You were multiple times in Barcelona.”, you pressed on.

“You know why.”, she responded quietly, while tucking in a loose string of the hair behind your ear.

“Because it would have made it worse.”, you replied.

“But it was worth to wait.”, Ana said winking, alluding to the fun you had only minutes earlier.

“You’re an idiot, you know that, right?”, you laughed at her playful mood.

“Maybe I’m.”, she admitted seriously.

“To be fair so am I.”, you confessed, remembering how the blonde was till able to make your legs go weak.

“Looks like we both are.”, the Swiss woman smiled sadly. There was a melancholy air surrounding your ex-lover and you which couldn’t be waved off.

“Yes, seems like it.”, you agreed.

“So.. want to continue making out or..?”, Ana quickly distracted you from the thoughts which tinted everything sepia coloured like it was a moment from the past, but actually everything what happened was in the present.

“No, let’s stop talking and continue kissing.”, you decided, while turning your words into actions. She gladly obliged to your decision.

In the morning you awoke to Alexia’s cheerful voice, of course your captain was already up:” Y/n, wake up, we got to go!”

Your heart sank when you turned your head to Ana whose eyes were still closed, her arms wrapped around you:” Ana? I’ve to leave.”

“Okay, Barca needs you, I understand that.”, she responded, although the older woman hasn’t let you go yet.

The light of the sun fell through the curtain and gave everything it touched a warm glow including her.

“You can sleep a little longer.”, you offered her heavy-hearted.

“No.“, Ana said. Her voice was still a little hoarse from the sleep but she sounded determined.

“No?“, you echoed.

Ana pulled you closer, whispering into your ear: “I’ll think that I only dreamed this.“

“But it was real.“, you replied, studying her face thoroughly.

With a sigh, she finally let go of you. “Visit me in Madrid.“

A slight smile tugged on your lips as you crawled out of bed: “I’ll. See you there.“

Ana watched you while you got dressed: “Hopefully soon.“

“Promise.“, you said before you grabbed your bag and were out the door.

You could feel her gaze linger on your back as you left.

Alexia was already waiting for you. You were unable to interpret the look on her face but she was eyeing you cautiously as though she was searching for a hint.

When you approached her, she only let out a breath: “You girls.“

You rolled your eyes: “Don’t say anything, Alexia.“

Your captain remained unimpressed by that. Instead, she shrugged with a smirk: “I have to.“

“Fine but quick.“, you gave in. All you wanted to do was go home to Barcelona and sort your thoughts.

Alexias smile grew wider: “You’re the same kind of idiots.“

“Rude.“, you said, more amused than offended.

“It’s true.“

“Maybe a bit… She asked me to visit her in Madrid.“, you admitted quietly.

Your teammate nodded slowly, seemingly unsurprised: “She means it. You two miss each other.“

“I hate that I love her…“

“You can hate it all you want but you need her.“, Alexia replied calmly.

“You’re right.“

You had to finally admit it, your captain knew you better than anyone else on the team. Maybe she was right. Maybe all the hatred and pain you had felt had been unnecessary. Maybe there was an easy solution to this ache you felt in your chest.

That was how you found yourself in Madrid on your next free day. Your heart thumped against your chest as you waited on Anas door step.

Finally, the door opened and her face appeared in the gap.

“Hi.“, you said softly.

A smile of pleasant surprise appeared on Anas lips. “Hi. Come in.“

[reilicaria]

so lovely, it feels so right

First time actually publishing something I write. NSFW, fem na’vi reader, needy and dumb reader, some daddy kink, some degradation and Jake being a soft dom. English is not my first language, so I’m happy to take notes. Enjoy and if you liked it, you can send me some requests!<3 

“Oh baby, you're getting so... loose. ‘Can barely feel you around my cock” he says, voice dripping with amusement, masked as disappointment.

Of course, he's just making fun of you, but you can't help but to cry a little for the embarrassment of what he just said. A new shed of tears gathered in your waterline, ready to burst. He has manoeuvred you into a spoon fucking position after having fucked an orgasm out of you in all fours. His arm is keeping your leg folded over his hip, your pussy stretched in the open air.

“S-Sorry, I'm sorry- I'm so sorry” you cry out, fat tears streaming down your cheeks, the burn of his words settling in your lower stomach and chest. “I- It's just- I can't help it. Feels so g-good...”

You couldn't help but to relax into his pleasure, to cream all over his cock, ring of white arousal gathering at the base of his girth. After all, it was your body's natural reaction to open up to him.

He kisses your temple before chuckling. Nevertheless, he doesn't stop his thrusts, punching the air out of your lungs with each tight snap of hips against your ass.

“I know baby, I know” he caresses your cheek sweetly before taking a hold of your jaw, your head tilting to the side, forcing you to look into his pupil-dilated eyes. “Fucked your cunt loose over the years. Am I right? Keeping this cunt filled-”

“I-I'm sorry. My mouth- It's better. I'll suck you off, please-” voice trembling, your following sighs are wet and shaky. Jake can see the desperation in your glossy eyes.

He moans, deep and long, the tip of his cock bumping inside the swell inside your gummy walls. It makes your cunt flutter, you see how his eyes roll to the back of his head, yours subtly mimicking his but keeping them shut afterwards.

“Yeah? You ‘gonna let me fuck your mouth? ‘Gonna let daddy cum in your mouth? Leave your greedy cunt empty?” His hand releases your face, the feeling of his fingers against your jaw still pulsing in your hot skin.

“Y-Yes, daddy! Whatever you want, I'll do anything for you.” You babble, mind foggy and already dumb on pleasure, the feeling of your belly getting tighter.

He can't help but to feel his chest tighten. You're so sweet, he knows you'd do it. You'd do anything to keep him satisfied, even if it meant not getting what you so desperately need.

“Lucky for you, I know just how to- ah yes, baby, keep those pretty eyes on me.” he gets distracted from what he was about to do when you look up to him again. Brows furrowed, all flushed in places he’s been touching. He chews his bottom lip before leaning in to kiss your cheek. When he pulls back, Jake can see how your eyes are filled with new tears, ready to be spilled. “Oh, sweet thing, don’t cry. Daddy’s ‘gonna make you all tight again. How does that sound?”

You can only nod, your head heavy over your shoulders, eager to do whatever he wants to make him feel as good as you’re feeling right now. It makes him chuckle behind you before he’s pulling out slowly. The cold wind of the forest hitting his drenched cock, making him whimper softly. You’re so empty all of a sudden, it makes you want to climb him to keep him inside of you forever. 

“’Wanna kiss” you say before you can process it.

“Alright sweetheart, I’ll give you a kiss in a second.” his hands grab your hips to manhandle you, back flushed against the soft grass, him above you. He’s leaning to meet your gabby hands, intertwining them over his thick neck.

When your lips meet, he moans against them sweetly, your tongue is quick and eager to search his, whimpering coming from the depths of your throat when he finally lets his to come out and play with yours. 

“Inside, c’mon daddy, inside. ‘Want you inside again.” 

“I was already on it, baby. You’re such a greedy little bitch, am I right?” you can help but nod shamelessly, the tip of his swollen cock now pressing at your clit it's all you can think about. You grow desperate at his soft attention; at the soft circles his head is drawing in your sweet nerves. 

“Please, oh p-please!” your hips are rising with each of his slow movements, trying to follow the way he keeps his pace unhurried, teasing. It’s making you crazy. Your chest is moving up and down, unnaturally so, and you feel like you could sob any minute now with how needy and stupid you’re feeling. 

“What? What do you want now? ‘You want me inside or just want to cum like this?” his voice hardens, his movements against your clit grow faster, and once again your jaw is getting gripped with controlled force. “Answer.”

“I don’t know! I-I-I want you!” you can feel the way your tail is swinging back and forth under you, deciding as if it had a life of its own, to wrap around his toned tight. Your head is screaming; you only want more. 

More, more of him, closer, deeper, harder. Then, your hand behind his neck is wrapping his kuru, pulling it softly. He lets out a short laugh, the assault on your clit stops, making you whine and visibly relax. 

“You’re that fucked out, right? It’s alright baby, you’re the prettiest when you’re dumb.”

He obliges you, taking a hold of your kuru to pull it over your shoulder as you do the same. Soft strands of bare nerves glow dimly between the two of you, and when you connect them, everything stops. Your breath is caught in your throat, a new wave of heat and sensibility is taking over your body, now you can barely feel your toes; you feel lightheaded. 

He isn’t much better. The need you feel for him is overpowering, his desire for teasing you no longer a priority. He just wants to make you cum, keep you satisfied until you’re no longer able to remember your own name.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck-” is the only think he can mutter, head empty and ready to fuck you senseless. The head of his cock is quickly prodding your entrance and making a swift way inside your awaiting cunt effortlessly, making you arch against his chest in a silent moan. “Fuck, baby so good. So soft and w-warm. Fuck- Im’gonna make you cum so hard.”

Jake can no longer afford to be eloquent, deciding instead to focus on your neglected clit, his own release so near is making him whimper loudly with each trust into your cunt. Hand pressing on your lower stomach, thumb reaching to rub your sensitive nerves in the way he knows will have you tightening and cumming in no longer than five minutes. 

“Jake! Ah, d-daddy. Feels so good- you’re, you’re... ah!” you trail off, unable to keep up with your words because of how hard he’s now fucking you, deep and so fucking dirty.

You can barely keep your eyes open, they feel heavy, and you can’t see much anyways, blurry behind your lids. 

“I’m ‘gonna make you cum? I know baby, I know you. I know this sweet cunt can’t cum without having your pretty clit touched. So greedy, it’s never enough.” he regains composure, each of his words making you feel closer to your orgasm. His thumb draws unrelentless shapes over and over again over your clit. 

“I’m- am I making you feel good too, d-daddy?” you ask, as sweetly as possible. 

You can’t help but to search for reassurance, especially after remembering how his earlier words made you feel. You know you are, your brain is literally connected with his. Still, you need verbal confirmation, his words never failing to make you feel warm and comforted.

“Oh, you’ve got to be fucking kidding me” he’s babbling and moaning, almost pussy drunk. He doesn’t miss the way your cunt is fluttering at his sounds, so he never actually tries to keep them down. “So good, sweetheart, you’re making me cum.”

You inevitably whimper at what he says, feeling the wet pulse in between your legs almost unbearable. Your back is sliding against the grass as he fucks you faster. Desperate, deep sounds coming from his open mouth.

“Ki-” you begin to say.

He’s already all over you, leaning forward, his forearm pressing right next to your head, noses bumping together and lips clasping wetly. Jake consumes almost all of your whiny and high-pitched noises, but his throat keeps groaning in low tones, unable to control himself no longer. When you open your eyes again, you can see how his temple expresses a deep frown. The idea is mild and subtle at the back of your brain, but you know he’s about to cum. 

“C’mon baby, I can feel you want to cum so bad... let go for me. Give it to me, now.”

His thumb over your clit is doubling its efforts, tight circles with just the right amount of pressure has you arching your back and raising your hips into the air, before closing your eyes and gushing all over his cock. You see pure white bliss while you’re moaning so breathy and so high pitched, your legs are trembling so hard, but he doesn’t stop. He’s making your clit go almost numb from oversensitivity.

When your orgasm feels endless and unnaturally long, you know it’s because Jake has cummed alongside you, the bond between your bodies masking it as one. 

“That’s right, sweet baby. So full of my cum, so mine...” his eyes are glued to your pulsing cunt, but he doesn’t seem to acknowledge the way you look at him, so focused on the way his softening dick is still pumping his cum inside you. “So pretty...”

When he’s finally pulling out, he moans softly, but you’re shuddering at the feeling of emptiness. You’re limp and exhausted, the both of you breathless. 

“How are you feeling, syulang?” he’s smiling widely now, eyes transfixed in your expression. With flushed cheeks, tired eyes and sweaty form, you try and sit up “Satisfied enough?”

He’s mocking you again, but this time it makes you laugh when you lean to kiss him.

“Well, yes. For now.” you begin, looking up to him through your lashes. “I don’t think I’ll ever grow tired of you and your...” you trail off, a bit embarrassed.

“Oh no, you can’t possibly be getting all shy now, aren’t you, baby?” he’s petting the crown of your head, rolling your bodies to lay in the cool grass. “I just hope to put another baby in you.”

His affirmation leaves you feeling hot and bothered again, but you limit yourself to only nodding and smiling at him while Jake softly pets the connection between your kurus with tenderness. 

“Wanna go again?” you suggest, the bond making you feel hungry and revitalized, as if you haven’t had your brains fucked for the last hour. “Just to make sure.”

“Almost as if you read my mind.” he says amused, leaning over you once again.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Likes, comments and reblogs are highly appreciated :p kdk if the end feels kinda rushed, i’m sorry!

[hazelsmirrorball]

Bad idea right? Jason Todd x Fem! reader

pairings: Ex! Jason Todd x Fem! Reader

Summary: Jason hits his ex girlfriend up

Warnings: suggested language, exes, english isn’t my main language 

a/n:  I’m back! Wrote this in my literature class bored as hell. Hope you guys like it. 

[MASTERLIST]

Y/n pushed past the sweaty bodies as she attempted to keep herself steady after drinking everything people offered her on the bar. Ever since her single days started, everyday has been the same. Bing watching TV shows while  eating ice cream. So when her friends came to her apartment and forced her to hang out, her routine was off the rails.  She was really fucked up after she decided to have a shot. Because one became two and two became seven. She missed having fun.  She missed hanging out with her friends. Y/n loved to hang out with them but being in a relationship made it pretty hard. She would usually spend her nights worrying if her boyfriend, well ex boyfriend, was going to come back alive. 

But now, It’s been four months since she had ended things with Jason Todd and she could do whatever she wants. She didn’t have to spend those nights wide awake waiting for him. She didn’t have to clean his wounds. Things were different now, she was her top priority.  If you asked her if she was over him, she would answer without a doubt no. But her actions would say otherwise.

Obviously she still cared for Jason. They had dated for four years and the thought of getting married would pass the couple's mind. But the last few months of their relationship, Jason got  distant and Y/n couldn’t even recognize him anymore. So their little talk became a fight and ended up with them breaking up. She did miss Jason. His sweet smile, his supportive aura and just him. She still loved him and four months and alcohol won’t change that. So when her phone started ringing the ringtone she assigned him she found herself pushing past the people worrying something was wrong with him. 

 As Y/n headed to the other side of the bar she pulled out her phone from her back pocket noticing the number that was calling her. Her finger hovered over the answer button hesitating if it was a good idea to answer. This was supposed to be a girls night, Jason was not supposed to be in the picture. If she answered she wouldn’t hear the end of it. She was supposed to be over Jason. Jason should be blocked. Pictures should be deleted. But there she was debating on answering her ex-boyfriend's late night call.  When Y/n  looked back down she noticed that Jason had stopped calling and had opted to send her a text. Her face lit up from the light that was coming out of the phone.  Four text messages. 

Hey Y/n. 

Just wanted to check up on you. I haven't heard anything about you in a minute. 

I have a new apartment so if you want to pass by. 

I’m all alone and needing company. 

Y/n felt a shiver around her body as she reread the message. Was there something encrypted in those text messages? Jason hadn’t attempted to talk to her ever since they broke up. Why was trying to act like everything was fine? She was aware that they were done. Y/n knew they were through but reading those messages made her feel something.  She shouldn’t be doing this. They were broken up and it was for a reason. Jason hadn’t made an effort before, why come around all of a sudden. It wasn’t one of her greatest ideas. She was having fun, here, with her friends. Without Jason. But part of her thought she could have a better time with him. 

“Fuck. Seeing him tonight. Is a bad idea right?” Y/n said to herself as she reread the message once again.  When Y/n finally pushed past the sea of people she pull the door to the outside of the bar open. Turning the phone off she let out a muffled scream pulling on her hair. She let out a sigh as she started pacing back and forth taking in her options. 

“Should I go? Like yes, I know that he's my ex, but can't two people reconnect? I only see him as a friend. We are friends? Friends can hang out.There’s no tension. Okay that literally is the biggest lie I’ve ever said. This is literally a late night booty call.  I can’t lie to myself and act like I don’t want to go. But after all the shit I’ve said if I go I would hate myself for it. But if I don’t go I’ll also hate myself for it. Seeing him tonight. Is a bad idea right? Yes, no, maybe? You know what. Fuck it, it’s fine”  She yelled to herself as she called a cab and reading the address to the driver. 

Y/n L/n has regretted doing a lot of things in her life. But sitting at the back of the taxi car wanting for her to be dropped off at Jason’s house, made her think. She couldn’t name the list of things she has regretted doing but she could name things she didn’t regret doing and that was standing outside of Jason Todd’s apartment. 

There he was. Jason Todd, in all his glory. Smiling at her with the smile she had fallen deeply for. She could say she had seen hotter men but seeing him with some loose sweatpants laying on his hips made her feel things she couldn’t even explain. God, when she looked at him her brain just said nonsense and she couldn’t even read her thoughts. All she could think of was the things that were going to happen once she entered that room.

“It’s nice seeing you, Y/n. You look good” Jason replied, pulling her into a hug. Y/n happily  hugged him back taking in his strong cologne making her fall into a deeper trance. She could feel Jason rub her lower back as she hid her face on his neck not wanting to let go. They stood like that for a few minutes but the cool breeze from the Gotham night made them pull away.  Jason leaned back against   the door letting her scoot past him.  Y/n walked in looking around analyzing the apartment. Noticing the alcohol empty bottles all around the room made her think that Jason was in the same state as her. His apartment was small, if you were in the kitchen you could take two steps and you would be in his room. So there they were. Jason sat at the edge of the bed and Y/n sat closely next to him. 

“So, how are things? How is the family?” Jason asked as he looked forward, not daring to look at her. Y/n blinked several times, getting annoyed. Regretting for an instant being here. 

“Just kiss me already, Jay” Y/n replied, turning towards him. At the sound of the nickname that he missed hearing the past few months. Jason picked Y/n up by the waist with ease desperately  kissing her lips. Hunger. That’s what it felt kissing each other after four months. None of them wanted to lose each other. Y/n bit his lips and Jason gripped on her waist probably leaving his mark there.  She pushed him harshly against the bed letting his lips go. She looked down at him, noticing his unsteady breathing. Jason sent her a loopy smile her way and all she could think about was that she didn’t regret being here. She only saw him as a friend,  tripping  and falling into his bed. 

No, it wasn’t a bad idea. 

…

Y/n groaned as she turned to the side searching for her ringing phone. When she finally  got a hold of it she noticed Jason's strong grip on her. She hid a smile as Jason parted lips let out little snores, his eye furrowed unintentionally. For a second Y/n forgot the rigging phone in her hand as her eyes wandered on Jason's bare chest. Her finger traced on top of Jason’s scars. Jason's eyes fluttered open glaring at her playfully. Y/n snapped back to reality moving her phone towards her eyes answering quickly. 

“Finally! Where the hell are you, girl?” Y/n friend exclaimed loudly as Y/n pulled the phone away trying not to hear her that loudly. 

“I decided to go to bed early. That’s all” Y/n responded while hearing her friend letting out a sigh of relief. As she did that Jason let out a chuckle gaining her friends attention.

“Wait, is there someone with you? Y/n” she exclaimed once again before Jason could say anything Y/n covered his mouth. 

Even if it wasn’t a bad idea, her friends didn’t have to know she was under Jason Todd sheets.

[MASTERLIST]

[tryslora]

learning sentence level editing

It’s no secret that I hate editing.

I’ve told this story before: When I was in high school, I had an English teacher who told us on our first day of sophomore honors English that she would not give an A for a first draft. She had a rigorous outlining/drafting process that she was determined to teach us. Me, I had undiagnosed ADHD and was a dyed-in-the-wool pantser. So I resolved on that first day that by the end of my time with her, I would get an A on a first draft.

My final essay of junior year AP English (yes, same teacher two years in a row), I wrote about Victorian morals and literature. I read it aloud. I got an A. I only ever wrote one draft.

What that taught me was how to write very technically clean drafts, something that has stayed with me for almost four decades now. Which is great!

What it did not teach me was how to be patient enough to properly edit. And I have never really learned. In fact, that is one of my ADHD sticking points (yes, I know, that’s obvious from my reaction to her statement in the story above). I often feel that a large part of the reason I have never made it as a writer—have never broken into tradpub—is because I do not have the patience to not only write, but then create an outline from the draft, then rewrite, then do it all over again and fiddle with each sentence until it’s perfect.

I’m learning, but I’ll admit, I’m still not there, and I’m not sure I ever will be where novels are concerned. 

But right this moment, I’m feeling very accomplished and proud of myself. I had a short story that every time I worked on it, it grew. Every time I cut it, it felt like it lost its heart and like the taste of the words stopped feeling like mine. My voice disappeared.

I had finally worked out a version of it that was just under 7500 words long, and I thought it was decent. It got no traction, and I was frustrated. I put it up for critique on SFFOWW (a critique group site) while I was active there a year and a half ago. It was chosen for an Editor’s Choice review, and the first half of it got some great comments. Which I promptly had to ignore because I was dealing with other editing problems.

I returned to it recently, because I saw a call I wanted to send it to. The problem was, the call was for stories under 6k, and I wasn’t sure I could cut this story again and still retain its punch. But hey. The biggest feedback I got was about how I handled my descriptions and dialog, and the amount of repetition that slipped into my words. So I absorbed that, and I dug into the story, and I started ripping it apart.

I didn’t edit it, exactly, nor did I completely rewrite it. I printed it. I read it twice. Then I placed it on the desk and went a few paragraphs at a time and started with a blank file and filled it in. Some pieces went in verbatim. Most of it changed. Huge chunks disappeared, and a few new things appeared. Some of it got rearranged. The wordiness disappeared.

Here’s an example…

Before:

"You get one hour," Lana says softly. "One hour with him, and then you're leaving him behind. You're taking your fate and you're setting him free."

After:

"One hour," Lana says. "Then take your fate with you and set him free."

The new version of the story came in under 6k. I did it, and the best part is, I don’t hate it. In fact, this was sentence level revision of a style I had never done before. The closest I’ve come to it is editing flash fiction to be under very tiny wordcounts (or drabbles of exactly 100 words, which gods, those take me longer than writing a short fic!).

I’m not sure I could’ve done this without the editing I did for Into the Split over the last many months. I had to dig into that in ways I have never edited a novel before, and it prepared me to dig even more deeply into this short story.

I’m learning. I guess you can teach old dogs some new tricks.

[steodraws]

Crimson Snow: Mistletoe and Memories ❄️

disclaimers: this story contains angst, sad, tension, literally no happy ending feels, drama and it's bada's pov. remember it's a work of fiction, none of this represents what i truly think about bada's/bebe's character or nature! it is meant for fun and entertainment purposes only. also, i'm not a native english speaker and this is my first ever fanfiction so keep that in mind and be nice please. thank you 🩵

Summary: "Old flames, city lights, and buried memories — Bada Lee, against her own wishes, returns to Incheon for Christmas. Amidst the moonlit whispers and the unyielding snowfall, she's compelled to confront a past she believed buried beneath the frost."

WC: 2.1k

"Yes, mom, i'll be there for Christmas," i muttered into the phone, my voice tinged with a hint of disdain.

"This city gives me the creeps," i ponder.

Incheon is like a patchwork of bitter memories; every street corner bears the weight of choices made and opportunities lost. This place represents a chapter of my life I struggle to bury.

Regrets, disappointments—I tried to shove those aside a while ago, or at least attempted to.

Nevertheless, i made a promise to my mother about being there for Christmas. What foolishness it is to commit to something i might not fulfill. Yet, is it too late to reconsider? Can i claim i couldn't secure a flight on time?

Idiot; no turning back now. I wonder how much longer i'll keep evading my past.

"I just wish i don't run into her there," i murmur with a slight tremor in my tone. I knew all too well whom i was talking about.

It's exactly 9 o'clock, my train departs in about 30 minutes. Unfortunately, i'll be in Incheon in a few hours.

"I can't believe you're finally coming back here! I guess i'll have to spend Christmas at your mom's house if that's the case," a sharp, loud feminine voice speaks over the phone; Lusher, a childhood friend.

Lusher has always been with me throughout our high school years and even into adulthood. Despite me moving to Busan a few years ago, we've kept in touch. She always mentions how much she misses me and that i should visit more often, to which i consistently reply, "Maybe someday."

It seems that day has finally come.

"Stop. Don't get too excited; i don't intend to spend much time in this place," I retort, my tone indifferent.

"The entire city already knows you're coming back, Bada."

Briefly, i freeze and fall silent. I only plan to make a short visit to my family, precisely.

"Incheon is wide-ranging; i doubt everyone really knows," I reply, an attempt to reassure myself that my plans won't change.

"Lin knows."

As soon as she counters, i instinctively hang up the phone, my back colliding with the seat of the moving train.

This definitely cannot be happening.

I was praying fervently not to encounter her during my time in Incheon, and i hope it stays that way. Regardless, she wouldn't want to see me after all these years... no, she hates me. I hope she hates me.

It felt like time stood still; i couldn't tell whether i had plunged into a deep sleep during those four hours of travel or if i had ended up in a temporal lapse. I open my eyes, and there's Incheon Station outside the window.

The time has come to face this city once again, with people bustling around, knee-deep in Christmas preparations just hours away.

I step off the train, grab my luggage, and find myself compelled to smile at strangers who somehow recognized me, waving as they passed. Perhaps they did, considering i gained some visibility after opening my dance studio in Busan. Or maybe it's simply because i am notably taller than the average Korean women; either of these reasons would be plausible.

My eyes scan the surroundings, searching for a familiar figure in the crowd. Mom said she would be waiting at the end of the station, my next stop.

"Bada!" Someone yells my name amid that human sea, resembling canned sardines.

My older sister came to greet me, slightly shorter than me, with a delicate and sweet appearance framed by her impeccably cared-for dark brown hair and welcoming smile.

"Haeda!" i respond, happy to see a familiar face, rushing to hug her.

"Mom couldn't come; she's busy with preparations for the dinner later," she shares, helping me with the luggage. "Lots of people are excited to see you, little sister! We're glad you've come back."

"I haven't come back; i'm just joining you for this Christmas season," I respond seriously, making it clear my stay won't extend beyond Christmas.

"You've always been a bit grumpy, haven't you?" she laughs, teasingly.

Finally out of the station, we settle into a taxi. During the ride, we chat casually and laugh about things that happened during our time apart. I'm trying to have some fun as much as possible.

"So, how's your love life?" she asks, innocently.

Oh, crap.

"I don't really want to get into that," i reply, slightly irritated by the question. The fun and nice atmosphere that surrounded us moments ago seems to have abruptly evaporated.

"Seems like you still think about Lin," she murmurs softly to herself, sighing calmly, yet i hear her loud and clear.

I arch my eyebrows, surprised and bothered by Haeda's comment. I plan to stay silent, but i can't resist.

"Why do you always bring her into everything? It's been years since we last spoke; she was just a kid. Now, forget about it," i assert firmly aiming to put an end to the subject once and for all. The silence in the taxi becomes deafening.

Not even five minutes pass, and i ask the taxi make an unscheduled stop.

"Aren't you going home?" my sister inquires, confused.

"I promised to have lunch with Lusher; there's a café around here," i reply, still maintaining a slight arrogance in my voice.

"I'll drop your bags off at home then," she understands, nodding.

I step out of the vehicle and grab my phone, immediately calling Lusher, asking her to meet me where i am. She agrees without a second thought.

A short time passes, and i spot a girl of average height, black hair, always smiling, with a high-pitched voice that stands out in the crowd. She runs towards me as soon as she sees me.

"Is that really you, Bada? It's been ages since i saw you. Have you grown even more?" Lusher enthusiastically hugs me, talking without even taking a breath.

"Looks like you're still talkative... and no, of course, i haven't grown more. I'm already 26. Now I'm just going to shrink," i reciprocate her warm hug as we head to the café.

"Tell me, how's Busan? How's your studio doing? I want the whole scoop!"

"We don't have time for me to give you the full rundown. Overall, the city is comfy, and the studio is doing well," i say, a bit curt; i'm not one to drag out my words.

"That's it? Nothing interesting happening?" she says in a frustrated sigh, still curious about my life.

"I know where you're going with this, miss Lusher, but i'm not commenting on that. I'm kind of fed up with this topic," i respond, making my exasperation clear.

We lapsed into silence for a few minutes until someone finally spoke up; she seemed nervous.

"Listen, i messaged Lin yesterday." She pauses, intending to continue talking.

Lin, Lin, Lin—I'm tired of hearing that name.

"She seems to want to talk to you," Lusher finishes, taking a sip of her coffee.

"Unfortunate. I've already stated that I'm only here for Christmas with my family," i halt, clenching my fists, wanting to say more but finding myself unable.

"Bada, you know she was deeply hurt after you left." Lusher attempts to ease the situation. "After all, you left without telling anyone, not even me."

"I didn't have to tell anyone. I've said that before; new opportunities arose, and that's what happened. Am I to blame for considering my future?" I say, feeling a slight warmth in my body due to the anger this topic brings up

"There's no issue with you wanting to pursue your dreams; the problem was leaving her in the dark out of nowhere. I think you should talk."

"Lusher, i've had enough. I don't owe her any explanations, it's over. I've paved my own way, and she's chosen hers, end of story." Rising abruptly, i toss money on the table for Lusher to settle the bill and i make a swift exit.

I sense Lusher's gaze on me, even though i haven't cast a glance back after leaving the place.

This is why i hate this city—the people, the environment, everything reminds me of her. I despise it; I despise being so coward and weak, unable to endure an environment where her name lingers. Tears stream down my face as i silently reassure myself, "The past is the past; it'll be fine."

It won't be fine.

For quite a while, i just roam around the city, immersed in the festive Christmas decorations and the chilly yet pleasant atmosphere. Families stroll along snow-covered roads, little cafes are buzzling with events, and everyone radiates happiness, caught up in the joy of being together—while i meander alone. I'm the odd one out here.

The city lights gradually begin to flicker on, signaling the encroaching darkness. It's time to head home for the Christmas Eve feast, but before that, i need something to ease my stress.

I head to a nearby convenience store, searching for a pack of cigarettes. I randomly choose any available brand, pay, and head towards a secluded alley.

Turns out, i'm not the only one there; a woman next to me doing the same, and i can't quite see her face. I shake my pockets, searching for my lighter.

"Fuck..." i mutter softly as i lean against the wall, frustrated.

Suddenly, i notice something fall to the ground, accompanied by words.

"Pick it up," the woman, slightly mysterious but oddly familiar, says, tossing the lighter onto the snow-covered ground.

I quickly bend down to grab it. "Thanks," I express promptly, attempting to say something more. "Do you come here often?"

"Sometimes, only when i think about my ex." She pulls the cigarette calmly, allowing the smoke to envelop her face in a thin mist. An ephemeral cloud of smoke slowly wafts around me.

"We're in the same boat," i muse, giving a little laugh at her comment. "Does your ex smoke?"

"Since I've known her. She was always cautious so i wouldn't end up like her; nevertheless, here i am," she narrates with a tense tone.

"You shouldn't smoke; judging by your voice, you've quit for a long time. You should stop while you still can," i suggest while lighting my cigarette with the borrowed lighter.

"Look who wants to give me a moral lecture," she laughs, mocking. The whole situation is ironic.

"Pfft, you don't even know me; you probably think i'm a hypocritical smoker," i admit, in a casual tone.

"Definitely."

"Maybe i really am, but I still have feelings!" I laugh, playfully.

She seems serious now, and we stay silent for a few seconds.

"Have you ever thought about your ex's feelings when you two broke up?" she inquires, finishing her last drag before dropping the cigarette on the ground and crushing it under her foot.

I remain motionless, confused, and unsure of how to respond.

"I'm just messing with you; after all, i don't even know you." She lets out a nervous laugh before completely disappearing into the darkness of that dimly lit alley.

"I'm home," i announce, slipping off my shoes and opening the door.

My mother greets me with a smile as she sets the dining table with the help of my father and sister.

"You're here! It's so good to see you, dear," my mother smiles warmly and hugs me. The scent of kimchi fills the air; she must have been cooking for a long time.

"What's that smell of smoke..." She makes a disgusted face, and i quickly plan an excuse.

"There were some delinquents smoking in the streets; the smell must have clung to me," i say cautiously.

"Looks delicious," i observe the meal on the table after greeting everyone present, trying to change subjects. Despite my reservations about Incheon and the memories this city brings, i feel welcomed and relieved with my family by my side.

"Let's eat!" My father exclaims, excitedly, sitting down and preparing to enjoy the eagerly anticipated tteokguk, a unique skill of my mother.

A few minutes were left for the long-awaited December 25th, and the countdown unfolded gradually.

"I'm eager to know what you brought for us from Busan, little sister!"

"Did i have to bring a present?" I laugh ironically, joking. "Just kidding, i'm sure you guys will like it!"

1 minute to the 25th.

"Wow, i can already hear the neighbors starting the countdown," my sweet and dear mother says.

A sound echoes at the door.

"Knock, knock."

30 seconds to the 25th.

"Oh, let me get that!" I quickly get up from my seat and head to the door.

10 seconds to the 25th.

I grab the keys and swiftly unlock the door, while my family had already started the countdown.

"5... 4... 3... 2... 1..."

I can't believe who is on the other side of the door.

"Lin?"

"Merry Christmas!" the whole family celebrates in unison as i stand there, paralyzed, looking at my former love standing right in front of me.

aaand we're done! i don't know if i should make it a series or not since i'm the lazy type but lmk! also tysm for @/kiyaedits for the dividers. i hope you enjoyed this as much as i did, thank you for reading. ❄️

[harbo-urr]

Alhaitham's and Kaveh's relationship in the Sumeru arhon quest: new perspective (for me, maybe for you too!).

Oh it will be long...

It started with my short thoughts about their first on-screen dialog and how it feels different now compared to a year ago, but then spiralled into me re-watching the entire Sumeru archon quest to properly analyse Alhaitham's hidden struggles during it and Kaveh's (not big but) actual plot relevance.

Disclaimer: I'm aware that English VAs were way more emotional then Chinese, especially in 3.2, but, for the sake of having the information to analyse, lets believe that at least the official eng text of their interactions is more or less correct... (I'm sorry I only know English and other languages most likely have translation errors as well anyway).

I'm also assuming that you've read their character stories and know their more deep personalities, not just "cold smart guy and artsy broke guy".

Anyway, I hope someone will find the analyses below as entertaining as I do.

1. Kaveh and Alhaitham: what we see during their first on-screen interaction.

Now, let's all time travel into the day when the last part of Sumeru's quest dropped. These sweet days... Version 3.2, two versions before we got Alhaitham as a playable character and four versions before Kaveh. By this point we've already known a little information about Alhaitham, mostly from the archon quest itself, and next to nothing about Kaveh.

Well, we knew some info, but it was mostly leaks and speculations, nothing more than "a genius architect who lives with Alhaitham because he is broke".

Now, if you didn't read the leaks and just carefully played the quest, you could actually catch some phrases here and there that implied that Alhaitham lives with someone before it was openly confirmed, but again, it's not specific at all. That is why our first meeting with a brand new sexy blond boy was so extreme in all ways. It was beautiful, emotional, entertaining and... extremely toxic. Both Alhaitham and Kaveh behaved surprisingly aggressive (calmer in Chinese but still more negative then what we usually see now). It was fun to watch, and made a lot of people including me really interested in those two from the get go.

But re-watching this dialog now after almost a year felt... Weird. Yes sure, they bicker, it's their thing, but if you compare any other scene with them later it's not nearly as intense... especially on Alhaitham's side (yes, even if you don't listen to va and just read the lines).

So it got me thinking. Why did Alhaitham behave like that? Was it a random writing decision for the drama effect? Or was there something more going on that I didn't understand?

After going through everything from start to finish I believe that yes, there was. But I'll need go through a lot of content recap to fully explain what I mean.

2. First aka "the first on-screen" aka "Where were you when Sumeru needed you most!?" dialog

It is essentially our first glimpse of Kaveh, which we catch in the library on the search for Alhaitham.

Kaveh has just returned to the city so he has no idea what is going on. The shown interaction starts with Kaveh demanding Alhaitham to put his book away and explain what is happening at the Academia. The fact that Kaveh is already pretty irritated when we first see him tricks us into thinking that he's a short-tempered overly dramatic guy, which is...

Well, partly true, but having already experienced how sweet Kaveh actually is we can see through that and realize that Alhaitham most likely was ignoring Kaveh's questions for some time now, and that's why our Kaveh was already on edge when we started. Already weird and we're just at the first line.

After that they bicker a little, Kaveh again asks about the Academia, on which Alhaitham answers: "Oh? I thought you would already knew the inside story."

Then they bicker again (2) and Alhaitham goes hard on Kaveh here. He even agrees with Kaveh that he doesn't say anything nice about him, because "anyone who knows you as well as I do would do the same". DAMN, Alhaitham, that's brutal even for you, why are you so mad, is something bothering you? Oh well..

Then they bicker again (3) and Alhaitham proposes Kaveh to move out of his house, but Kaveh ignores it and tries asking about the Academia again. Alhaitham ignores it as well and says "Forget what's going on with the Academia, haven't you been busy with your construction project?".

Kaveh doesn't want to answer this question and says that he's "getting angry just thinking about it" (worth noting). Kaveh then wants to change the subject again, but Alhaitham doesn't give up and asks about Kaveh's project again ("Where were you when Sumeru needed you most?").

Then they bicker again (4) and Kaveh leaves to ask around.

Huh, that was heated...

Lets do a little bit of unpacking.

So, Kaveh wanted to know more about the Academia and Alhaitham was constantly changing the subject. It can be read as Alhaitham mocking Kaveh just for the sake of it, but if we pay a little more attention to what Alhaitham is saying every time he interrupts Kaveh, it becomes more interesting.

1) "Oh? I thought you would already knew the inside story."

2) "Forget what's going on with the Academia, haven't you been busy with your construction project?"

3) "Where were you when Sumeru needed you most?"

Each time Alhaitham changes the subject, he talks about Kaveh being away for the time of the quest. Let's remember the golden rule of miscommunication conflicts: to understand what actually bothers your opponent you need to spot a repetitive theme in their words. And Alhaitham has a pretty clear pattern. Interesting.

But let's move on to the next dialog.

3. Second aka "second on-screen" aka "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!?" dialog

Kaveh returns after asking around and confronts Alhaitham about it ("WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!?") (just a funny line). After some bickering (5) Alhaitham agrees to finally tell him what happened. He mentions that Kshahrewar sage was a part of conspiracy as well on which Kaveh reacts surprised and says "...could this be why they sent me out on a project?". However Alhaitham replies that it's just a coincidence and proceeds to suddenly go hard on Kaveh again, saying "whatever you were doing won't have any significant impact now or in times to come" (auch, Alhaitham, auch). Then they bicker again (6) and the dialog ends.

This interaction is more relevant to the "Kaveh plot relevance" section, but the important things for now are:

Kaveh: "...could this be why they sent me out on a project?"

Alhaitham: "I think its just a coincidence ... whatever you were doing won't have any significant impact now or in times to come."

And why is it important?

I find the flow of this whole conversation to be very weird, since it goes "confrontation - agreement - information share - speculation - confrontation". In other words, first Alhaitham doesn't want to talk, but Kaveh persuades him, learns about the sage, brings up his mission in the desert, and Alhaitham returns to the confrontation mode again.

It can be interpreted as Alhaitham just using every opportunity to disagree with Kaveh just cause, but at the same time his words sours exactly after Kaveh talks about him being missing from the quest. Coincidence? I don't think so.

All these little things got me thinking. Why is Kaveh's absence so triggering for Alhaitham? Sure they're close or whatever, but they both value their freedom very highly and it's probably not too rare for them to disappear for a day or two for work. Why is it such a big deal now?

But then I also remembered that Kaveh, basically the only family Alhaitham has (yes I call people you willingly live with a family, its my life experience), went missing from home exactly when the fishy stuff at the Academia started resurfacing. And he was gone for a long time, at least for the duration of the quest, which is about two in game weeks.

Even if Alhaitham is not a very emotional person, he still values family, home, routine and comfort very highly. So, in theory, the sudden empty house should have affected him in some way, right? That's how I decided to check Alhaitham's behaviour during the archon quest and it was.. interesting.

4. Alhaitham's side of the Sumeru quest, with me fillng in the gaps.

Let's think about all these quest days from his perspective.

You're simple logical guy who already for quite some time lives with an annoying but kind of endearing roommate, who you drink coffee with in the morning and often discuss intellectual or not really stuff. Sometimes you argue but he's perspective on life fascinates you as a scholar, so you don't mind it too much. Ultimately you're just used to him in your life.

Then one day you go to your work, which brings you just enough money to feel completely comfortable, but you start feeling that something fishy is going on behind the scenes. Some sages disappear, your archon is treated like a power source and there are weird rumours about the divine knowledge capsules. Then you get a sudden assignment - investigate a blond traveller with a talking fairy. And sages propose to pay you with the divine knowledge capsule.

Suspicious. If it's such a big deal, why would they promise you it as a present for a simple spy work?

You decide to get to the bottom of this and for this you need to buy the capsule yourself. You're sure that the infamous merchant Dori has some, but you're definitely in the black list as the Academia's scribe... Ah, how lucky is it. Your roommate just so happen to have a strong connection to Dori. If you give him money and an excuse why he needs the capsule so much she would definitely sell it to him. It settled then.

You come home. But you're roommate isn't there. You wait. He doesn't come back. You're confused and decide to check using you're connections at the Academia, and... he suddenly was requested to the desert? And just left? Why would he leave exactly when everything was going to get weird? Did he know something? Did Academia want to temporarily move him out of the picture? Maybe they did something worse than that? Was it all a coincidence?

You don't know and you have no time. You need to spy on Traveller. You need to buy a capsule. It seems that you're alone in it.

Dori didn't sell you a capsule. That wasn't unexpected but still worth the try. You decide to make the mysterious traveller to buy it for you. It went great. You find out more about capsules, you steal one yourself. You realise that the divine knowledge offered by the sages was a trap to dispose of you. Your roommate still didn't come back. It's been what, almost a week? Whatever. It's nice and quiet at your home.

You meet Traveller again on your way to the desert to investigate the source of the capsules. You run into Cyno and a bunch of other people and you seem to finally get the lead to answers that you wanted. You find out that the capsules were extracted from the brains of scholars who were send to the desert by the Academia and then abducted. You're roommate was also sent to the desert by the Academia. Uh. He's fine. You have your problems to deal with.

You and your unexpected but quite pleasant team find out that sages want to create a God. It seems it's time to rescue your archon. You came up with a pretty good plan. Noe you need to return to the city after these couple of days in the desert. When you come home, your roommate still isn't there.

The next day your team is preparing for the plan and Cyno says that you all need to go home and have a good rest.

"...Thankfully I had my place to myself recently. It's been nice and quiet."

"...Huh?"

Dehya stares at you confused.

You didn't realise that you said it out loud and you're not sure how other people deal with situations when they say something without thinking.

"Oh, nothing"

You went home and slept alright.

The plan worked, Nahida was saved, sages punished, akasha destroyed, your comfortable routine is safe again. It's still nice and quite at home, so you go to the library to read some books.

"Alhaitham, what happened in the Academia?!"

You hear a familiar voice. After all this time he returns like nothing happened.

5. And this was a recap of Alhaitham's side of the archon quest!

Interpretations can vary of course, but the way I see it, Alhaitham was very bothered by Kaveh's sudden disappearance. He clearly expresses that he wishes Kaveh was in the team during the quest ("Where were you when Sumeru needed you most?"). From this we can guess that Kaveh really left without any warning and had Alhaitham known about it, he would most likely stopped him.

I think Alhaitham quickly found out where Kaveh was (connections) but he had no means of contacting him quickly and maybe didn't even know the exact location. At first it was a minor inconvenience because of the Dori situation, but he probably wasn't bothered to much by it. But after he found out that sages actively tried to dispose of him by making him insane, he probably realised that the situation was way worse that he initially thought. And Kaveh still was somewhere in the desert with no means to contact him.

So what Alhaitham does next? He goes to the desert. Yes, it was for the plot reasons, but let's agree, he at least considered a possibility that he could run into Kaveh there. But he never did. And what's more, he found out that the Academia was abducting scholars and sucking their brains out. Let's be real, the theory that Kaveh was send to the desert for the reasons connected to knowledge capsules, most likely was on Alhaitham's mind, and in a bad universe it could've been correct.

Well, Kaveh did return home after all. But by that point Alhaitham's supressed stress about this whole situation was so great, that it resulted in him being genuinely salty at Kaveh during their first on-screen dialog and even saying "Well, maybe then you should move out of my house" - which, at least from my point of view, is way worse then his usual teasing about Kaveh being broke and homeless or whatever.

6. About Kaveh's role in the archon quest besides making Alhaitham sad

Ag, that's a very fun topic. I don't know how I totally missed it the first time, maybe it was the lack of respect for Kaveh, idk, but he was 100% purposefully sent away for the time of the quest.

Sages wanted to move him out of the picture just like they wanted to do with Alhaitham using knowledge capsule. Except they knew that Kaveh would not be too interested in the capsules. So they needed something else to remove him... Like a sudden very urgent request to build a children's hospital somewhere very deep in the desert for people who are literally dying without it! Huh, well, I just made it up, but I believe that sages came up with something very similar.

Kaveh is the type of person to jump straight into any charity he sees and ask next to none questions about it, so it would be the easiest way to send him away for good. Plus I believe that it could've been the reason why he didn't talk with Alhaitham about it and disappeared so sudden. Children are dying! No time for talking! But then he arrived to the said place in the desert and it was just a mess. Maybe a fake project, maybe literally nothing, maybe a trap. In other words - not the project he was told he is needed for.

It's something that we don't get spelled out for us (Alhaitham even denies it cause he's angry at that moment), but timings are just too perfect to be a coincidence. And that's not the only proof - Kaveh himself heavily implies that there was something very fishy about this mission.

He straight up avoids answering Alhaitham's questions about it, and says "Thinking about it makes me angry". Why would he say this about the Academia project? It's not like he had a specific annoying client. Kaveh was sent as a representative from the Academia to be the head of some "construction project" after all, he presumably was the boss there. So it can only mean that there was something wrong with the project itself.

Plus immediately after he finds out that his sage was a part of the conspiracy, he says "So that's why they sent me there", which further implies that whatever was happening on that mission in desert – it was either absurd (if the sages just wanted to keep Kaveh away for some time) or very dangerous (if they wanted him dead). Unfortunately Kaveh's the last person who would tell us about the danger to his life, so we can forget about learning what the hell was that mysterious mission.

Ah, and about why would sages want Kaveh away. Sure it can be because of his connections to Alhaitham, but…

I think anyone who knows Kaveh more then 10 minutes would know that if he found out what sages are planning to do with a literal child and what they do to other scholars, he would die but not let them continue all of it. And he is quite popular among students and citizens alike, so he could've been a potential threat for the sages.

Makes me wonder how many other potential dangers did sages eliminate in some way for their plan. Probably not too many, but still interesting behind the scenes of their actions.

AND NOW, AFTER ALL THIS THINKING, I FINNALY, FINALLY, WAS ABLE TO UNDERSTAND ALHAITHAM'S FINAL LINES IN THE ARCHON QUEST.

Let's return to the end of the act 5. After we had a feast at the Grand Bazar, we were able to one last time talk to each member of our Sumeru-rescue team.

Alhaitham said this:

Which was always bothering me, because:

One: He suddenly becomes quite sentimental and talks about happiness, which is cool to see, but at the same time... He very rarely talks about subjective emotions. And what's more, he seems genuinely enjoying the thought of it. He isn't really the kind of person who gets his sense of satisfaction out of someone else's happiness (it's one of the things he parallels Kaveh in), so what's this all about?

Two: He extremely abruptly switches the topic to point out that he "seems to have taken both keys when he left the house" (tbh I thought that I accidentally clicked on him the second time and it's the new dialog, but no, it is all specifically a one long dialog).

Well well well. What do we have here.

When I first read these lines I decided that's it's just a weird writing without normal conversation flow. First Alhaitham is satisfied that he's plan worked and his daily life is safe, but says it through pointing out that other people are happy rather then explicitly stating that he's happy. Then he yaoi baiting us with "haha, harassing Kaveh is so much fun" and that's all there is to it.

But.

Now that we know more about Alhaitham's daily life during the archon quest, let's think about the keys some more.

He was able to take both keys because Kaveh was at home and his keys were there either. On his way out to meet us, Alhaitham saw Kaveh's keys on their usual place and took them as well, ultimately making Kaveh unable to leave the house. Which also means...

Kaveh will definitely be at home when Alhaitham returns after the feast.

So if we flip everything based on this logic, Alhaitham tells us: "This is a great evening. This gathering is special. People are finally happy. They feel happiness from the bottom of their hearts. And when I return home there will be someone waiting for".

Which is. So. PRECIOUS!.. Something clicked in my brain when I first realized this meaning and these lines are finally making a lot of sense!

It's the perfect final words for his little character journey in this quest. He protected the life he had and loved, everything and everyone were back to normal again and for him it is a true happiness felt from the bottom of his heart. Just precious.

Final words

Anyway, yes, that's why I believe that during the archon quest Alhaitham was actually constantly worrying about Kaveh at the back of his mind and maybe even feeling lonely, which resulted in his great boom of toxicity during their first on-screen dialog, but after some time he cooled down and slipped into his usual happy comfortable and not "nice and quiet" life again.

And fuck the sages for sending away our boy Kaveh (who actually knows a lot about desert since he works there often) and making our rescue-Nahida-group one competent person shorter.

Thanks for your time and tears, you, the person who read this!

[forgodsgoddamnsake]

Belly Dancer - Prologue

Hey beauties! This is my first fic and I may be too old for this idk but I thought I need to get this freaking idea out of my system. I’d like you to know that English isn’t my first language so mind me. I’d like you to know that the character which is you in this case is not weak, I read my fair share of fanfics and most of the times if not all the character is a weak little thing, but that’s not gonna be the case here. You’re gonna be a badass bitch!

Idc what your culture is, all I want from you is to have an open mind and get yourself out of where you are and convince yourself that you are the one in this fic. Get yourself out of your body, out of your culture, out of color, out of whatever the fuck. NO MATTER WHAT.

So, shall we start?

Summary: Belly dancer and an arms dealer, how's that gonna go?

--

It was one of those days that you had to bust your ass to get the job that had you be here in this country. You had been here for a long time enough for you to get used to the mess you're in. You had to get this job; someone has to believe in you. You got to take this chance, this is your culture after all, how can anyone beat you in something your culture is known for?

You took off your hair tie and let your hair fall down your shoulders and back, you got it be so long, so it fits your soon-to-be job. You stand in front of the mirror in the small room of the theatre and take in how you look after you put on your body suit.

This is your shot; you take it, or you leave the country cursing every day you suffered here. You're not gonna let this go.

You look at the golden colored body suit that beautifies your body even more, your cleavage is out there, not so modest, but enough for you to catch eyes. This is what this art is about after all.

You squat and put on the golden anklet and then stand again and take in how beautiful you are. You know that you're beautiful and that your beauty is different from all girls here, that's not something new to you, but it doesn't only take beauty. You also have the skills, and oh you're going to use every bit of it.

A knock on the door and a voice shouts, "Y/N, are you ready?"

You take a deep breath and take the last look of yourself in the mirror.

"I am."

You take your black mantle and wear it on top of your suit. Man, you're here to blow them away, at least this is what you thought.

The path is lightened enough for you to know where the stage is. You stand and see the brown stage in front of you, waiting for you to stand on it.

"Go!" You hear a man says. You breathe and take your first step on the stage and stand right in the middle. There is a light right above you and you can clearly see that there are four people sitting where the audience should be. Three of them are the club and theatre owners that your determined to work at. The fourth one is your friend Jessica, and she's sitting away from them and giving you a smile and a thumbs up.

You hear the woman of the three people asks, "Your name is Y/N, right? Quite a unique name."

You smile and raise your chin in pride, "Yes, I think it kinda is."

"We've heard that you want this job so badly, what makes you different?" A man asks.

"Belly dance is something my country is known for, this is something all women there are born with, it's one of the sexiest things you'll ever see in your life. I think it's even sexier than pole dancing, and I'm here to prove that I'm worthy of it more than anyone else who just learned this art when they were like 20 years old." You answer, confidently.

"Oh, then when did you learn it?" The woman asks.

You smile to yourself and remember when you were five years old and had your mother's scarf around your waist and danced to a really old song.

"From the day I was born." You answer with a smile.

"Well then, let's see." The last man says, looking at his wristwatch.

You hear the rythm of the Egyptian song you asked for, so you give them your back with your body still covered in the mantle.

You start by slowly swaying your waist and you know they can't see shit with this mantle, but you keep swaying your body slowly. Until the beat hits, you throw the mantle violently on the floor, then give them your face with a smile, swaying your belly and waist, not forgetting to use your hands and arms just like any good dancer. A VERY good dancer.

You don't stay where you are, but you also go everywhere on the stage, to keep them attached to looking at you. You smile to yourself when the men look at your beautiful legs and take in the sight of your anklet, your belly is not flat. It has this bump every belly dancer should have to stay as sexy as possible.

You shake your hips, then your breasts, then your waist enough for your ass to shake with it. For the last couple of seconds you use your hair taking it in one hand and raise it to sway it in the air with your back all the way back while standing.

When you're done you hear Jessica scream, "Oh my fucking god! that was incredible, y/n!"

It was the first time she sees you dance, and it blew her away. A smile crept on your face after you looked at the three left, their mouths are open.

One of them stands up, "You're in."

--

It wasn't the first time for Harry to go to this club, but his friend told him that they had this new dancer that shocked people every time she was on stage.

He needs something different, so maybe drinking couple of shots and dancing could do it for him. He knows that the VIP lounge in this luxurious club will be quieter, and girls won't throw themselves at him as much, he is sick of it actually.

His job is dangerous, he is sick of it, too.

He has cut his hair short, he had to. He had to keep his looks as manly as possible, and the long hair wasn't doing a great job.

Harry coughs and sits on the stool at the bar in the VIP lounge, raising his middle finger to Michael, his friend who sat on a leather couch with a couple of girls. He asks the bartender for vodka, It's not his best option but he wants something strong enough to knock him out.

"Oh my god, it's become nuts in here." He hears the bartender huffs.

"What are you talking about?" Harry asks lighting a cigarette.

"The club has been more crowded every day since this new girl came in." The bartender explains, pouring the vodka for Harry.

"What new girl? Is it the dancer Michael talked about?" Harry asks, taking the cup from the bartender and pouring it down his throat.

"Mhm, not gonna lie, she's sexy to the point I get a boner just hearing her name." The bartender laughs.

"What kind of dancing does she do?" Harry asks giving back the cup of vodka.

"You're gonna see for yourself, better watch out your dick when you see her. Anyways she's gonna be on stage in about half an hour."

"What is her name then, the one that gets you a boner?" Harry smirks and takes the new cup of vodka.

"Y/N" The bartender answers.

[catchyhuh]

LUP AND LANGUAGE!!

just our special guy today because i’ve realized i have very complex thoughts about my main man’s polyglotism and the way i see it utilized in canon and in fan work from time to time. i will be rambling, i will be going off target, this is a promise SO LET'S GO!

so baseline, lupin was bilingual from almost birth, with the whole mixed upbringing and all. so we know that, from the start. french dad, japanese mom, you-- i mean it would be jarring to somehow not know a lick of either. I MEAN THEY GOTTA TALK TO THE BABY SOMEHOW

when he was about 4, the Horrors began. you can’t be much of an international thief only speaking two languages that are… really only primarily spoken in their countries of origin (canadian french is very different you know) so they started piling on more: spanish, italian, english, german, they tried cantonese too, but he had so much trouble with the tones that they dialed it down to mandarin, and he… still had trouble with the tones, because even as an adult that’s a LOT of voice control that he tends to lose when he’s overly happy or upset. so yeah it was hard for a FOUR year old to manage it

it’s kind of funny though; the first language he could really speak was japanese, and the language he usually defaults to, the language he THINKS in, is STILL japanese. all those language courses just for him to stick to ol’ reliable

however, certain words pop up in french first for him; usually numbers. by the time he was learning to count, his dad was more adamant about him speaking french more, so numbers (and colors) register as french in his head before he runs them through a little translator in his head and goes “TWENTY” at top volume. if somebody is describing a math problem to him in japanese, even though he’s most comfortable IN that language, he has to redo the whole thing in his head in french to really get his answer. yes, it’s miserable for him

the language he speaks SECOND most often is usually english, but more for a comedic beat than anything. ironically, lupin uses english the way some english speakers use french, in a way to be goofy and overdramatic about mundane shit. but also if you buy into the “jigen was born in america” thing then it just makes even MORE sense he’d be speaking it semi-often

the thing about his french is that while it’s still deeply ingrained into him, he… very rarely sees it come up in interactions. even when IN france, he sort of subconsciously removes his personal connection to it out of the picture. it’s like speaking portuguese in brazil, or speaking russian in, uh, russia. more of a needed skill than a part of HIM, really. in order to truly unlock his French Mode, he’d need to be around someone speaking french OUTSIDE of france, because, weird as it may sound, that’s just how he’s connected to it. and then he’d talk to them for a bit, start slipping into it naturally, and he might accidentally lock himself into it for an hour or so after they’re done talking. this is really the only kind of instance that gets him to slip up around any of the other four, because in his mind, why would he be speaking in french when he knows he can better communicate with the sorry bastard in front of him in another language?

i leave you with one final note to a question you could maybe be having idk: so, how many languages CAN lupin speak? and the answer to that is uh. i don’t know. many. whatever is plot relevant. are we like counting piglatin too or

[seedlessmuffins]

aren’t you a new football fan? celebrating like you’ve won the fucking world cup after one arsenal win lmfao. i’m not a city fan but don’t get used to assna wins when you lot lose the league to city again. embarrassing behaviour

hi anon! let's clear the air, yeah?

first of all, yes! i am a new football fan, i just started watching seriously after the world cup, and i am also a new arsenal fan. however, i still care very deeply about the sport and my team's successes in said sport! that is what being a fan is all about <3 just because i didn't grow up watching european football doesn't mean that i have less of a right to enjoy it then you do! also, it is the most popular sport in the world with billions and billions of fans globally, and out of the entire sport, the english premier league is the most viewed league in the world. of football, but also of any sport. so you can't really gatekeep it, sorry!

second of all, i'm aware that this was only a regular matchweek, not the world cup. but there are two important caveats to that those being:

who we were playing

and

the fashion in which we won

for who we were playing, it's not a secret that outside of the spurs and the north london derby, manchester united is one of arsenal's biggest rivals and has been since the start of the premier league when they were competing against each other for titles and trophies. i won't go into premier league history with you, i am just a new fan who knows nothing after all, but you should know that beating a rival is always exciting, especially when you are competing against them for points and jockeying for the title to compete with man city. every win is important, and winning is better when it is against a historical rival team.

for the fashion in which we won, it was a close game until the very end. rashford scoring in the 27th minute, and odegaard answering back 35 seconds later. the teams were trading chances and possession, there were good chances and var calls that went either way, it was a close game where the teams were fighting hard. and then, in the 95th minute, rice scores an absolute screamer and it was truly scenes at the emirates. gabi jesus caps it off with a 101st minute beaut, and arsenal win the game. winning in the last 3 minutes of regulation time, with a bonus goal over 100 minutes into the game is exciting! it was thrilling to watch, and seeing a team that i support win that emphatically in that dramatic of a manner was so much fun. its an exciting thing to watch and its ok to be excited when there's a win like that!

it also isn't just one win, this has just been our best win this season (imo)! we have only played four games, and we have won three and drawn one. so that is three wins actually, i am just celebrating this one the most, again, because of who we won against, how we won, and how we played to secure the win.

if the bit about "not getting used to arsenal wins" (i don't think you can call them assna when they came second in the premier league last season, and this season they haven't lost and they're in the champions league, right? but what do i know i'm just a new footy fan <3) is about the post where i said i forgot how good it feels to watch my team win, i don't think you understand what i have been through in the past 12 years as a sports fan. my hockey team has been on a losing streak almost this whole time, and we have been one of the flops of the league for awhile. just take a look at these gorgeous statistics from my favourite hockey team (that i have been a fan of since i was two, thank you very much)

do you want to talk losing? i know about losing. i know about losing for a long time, in an embarrassing manner. if you want more examples from football, from january to april 2023 i watched psg play every week. that was embarrassing losing in football for real. i might be new to football but i'm not new to sports, and i have to be perfectly honest: coming second is not losing. and what happened today wasn't a loss at all! in fact, it was the opposite! it was a win!

idk about losing the league to manchester city, it seems to me that arsenal has a good system with talented players that can ball out. we will see what comes, as the season is long and there are many other competitions for arsenal to compete in, but i have faith in the gunners and i believe that they can win! (and ill let you in on a little secret: that's what being a fan is all about <3)

i'm not sure if the embarrassing behaviour at the end is for my behaviour or arsenal's behaviour, however i am not being embarrassing, i am just being a fan, and arsenal certainly wasn't embarrassing with their performance today. idk what you're seeing, but bestie i think you might be blind <3

thanks for coming into my inbox anon, hope this cleared everything up for you! next time, let's let people enjoy things yeah? i try my best to be positive on here, i'm hardly ever a hater and i like to spread joy. why don't you take some of that energy alright? alright. hope you enjoyed your stay <3

ps: arsenal definitely are winning the world cup :)

[littleprincerianne]

Hi! It's Rianne! And I got bored one day so I decided on this fun segment, which also helps let off steam whilst letting y'all know big me outside of the shimmery pastel wonders that make up the internet's gateway into knowing little Rianne!

The first journal entry I wanted to do was about one of my four tattoos, which is the Super Mario Luma above my left elbow! I wanted to talk about this cuz, big or little, I LOVE tattoos... It's almost a personality trait of mine to constantly think of when and where to get next ones after little milestones like academic achievements in school or whatever.

Anyway... Back to my tattoo! Correct me if I'm wrong, but July is Disability Pride so that kinda adds to the fun of this story! I myself am not disabled, but my first encounter with neurodivergence and disability is recorded by this tattoo! Yes, FIRST encounter... i grew up in a very small community full of neurotypical and honestly ableist people so... :(( sorry!

One of the less happy moments of my life occurred when i was around 14-15 years old. I wouldn't say traumatizing, but it was sad nonetheless... To summarise those years, I barely spoke and made friends cuz I was in a foreign country and refused to take the risk of talking and improving by making mistakes.

Anyway! During the time I was toured around the campus, one classroom stood out to me since it ended up being the same classroom I'd walk past to get to P.E class: the Special Education classroom.

There was a kid there who, without fail, waved at me each time I walked past. I waved back and viewed them as a friend! I still remember their name, which says a lot considering everyone who knows me will tell you how forgetful I tend to be!

Here's where neurodivergence, my tattoo, and this kid are all linked... One day, whilst in the library, the English-speaking teacher's aide sat with me and we talked (holy smokes, it was one of the ONLY full conversations I had there...) and that kid walked by and sat next to the teacher. I happily waved cuz they were my friend regardless of the fact that the only words I uttered were "thank you" when they gave me a drawing they worked long and hard on.

The drawing is the inspiration for my tattoo; I didn't want something that blatantly screamed "SUPER MARIO!!" but I also wanted to pay homage cuz I'll carry the guilt of unintentionally losing that drawing 'til the day I pass. I chose the Luma cuz the Luma is almost always depicted as ✨shimmery✨ cuz duh, it's a star... and honestly, that kid was the light I only now realised I DESPERATELY needed.

I know that kid has forgotten me by now, but I don't think I'll ever forgive myself if I end up forgetting how happily they gave me that drawing; and even now that I have no idea where that sheet of paper ended up at, the thought of that day, that kid, and that sheet of paper manage to keep me going.

That's it for my first li'l journal entry thingy! Do y'all want particular tales and anecdotes from me? Feel free to ask!

Lovelots,

Rianne !

[coffee-without-anesthetics]

Hello tumblr user coffee-without-anesthetics can you explain Miligram to me like I'm your 80 year old grandmother who doesn't understand why she needs to decide why she needs to either vote to "forgive or do not forgive" this nice-looking lad/lass when you handed the phone to her and told her to tap the button you pointed out

hello!!! yes i can tumblr user kayoi1234, but too bad you're getting the full recap (miligram made me giggle, nice)

alright so we've got 10 buddies (prisoners) in this Milgram prison who are all technically guilty of "taking a life" (not killing someone, only around four of them did that from what we know.)

in the beginning, this is all the info available.

there's 3 trials over the course of years, 1 of which already fully passed, the second of which is more-or-less on the edge being finished -> as im writing this, you can vote for 2 characters, and the last 2 are yet to be judged at all

during each trial:

the official youtube channel releases a new MV (song) about the character currently being judged. (and a cover of a deco*27 song on spotify)

a voice drama of a discussion between the character and the warden (Es) is uploaded on spotify. an english translation by fans is usually uploaded not long after on youtube

and later, when both of the above has been realized for two characters

interrogation questions are answered on twitter. (here's the fan eng account)

INFO 1: in official sources (website etc) they use "guilty or innocent". this is misleading. they're all guilty of something. the only question is your forgiveness. INFO 2: the official english translations of the songs sometimes Suck Major Ass (see: Undercover), but theyre fine enough most of the time.

now that we're onto trial2 we know what an unforgiven vote does, which is: less privileges/freedom, more restrains, mental state done did fucked up if they care, more but can't remember right now.

in-universe, the warden judges them. you influence the judgement with daily votes.

and the most important of all: any reason to judge is a good reason!!

unforgiven cause you think they're reprehensible? sure! forgiven cause theyre cute? yeah! forgiven for the lolz? why not!

…there's also the question if this all is technically a infohazard because by knowing about the vote and then abstaining from voting (or not doing anything at all) is still participating anyway.

TLDR: over time you get more info about 10 characters who all took a life, and with that info you decide whether you forgive them or not in three trials

if you wanted basic info you can stop here.

diversity win! the amnesiac nonbinary 15 y/o prison warden with identity issues can hear the voice anyone who's ever voted! neat!

in the beningening, no one knew what an unforgiven vote would do and the info we had about characters was spotty at best, but we still got 4 characters judged unforgiven.

now more fun stuff!!

(im gonna use prisoner numbers not names cuz i don't wanna type allat)

unrelated: there's a side spin-off manga (???) called minigram. i have no idea what goes on there. random facts: 04 is half-french and the daughter of a landlord. 09 got diagnosed with DID via talking rabbit and teenager. 03 is the twitter-using guy who doxxed a kid to death. there's a fucking smokers club (05, 07 and 09). fun stuff all around

the thing is that the literal last character of the roster to be judged is a Justice Fanatic who got forgiven!! guess what she did to those who weren't.

long story short she got 03 blind in one eye, 06 now has a broken arm + bruised ribs + concussion iirc, 08 is a kid so she got skipped, and 09 fought back but you can see it took a lot.

why aren't any of them dead? the resident medic 05 was judged forgiven so he was free to help them.

there's no conclusion, *gestures at all of them* i just think they're neat

[magical-awesome-kid]

hey so um. i just saw your replies on that mycology post with the terfs and how you can't say that humans only have two sexes 'cause of their sexual development and the chromosomes and also intersex people and i'd just like to say how your username fits (you're awesome!!!!) and you're so so cool and also i'm quite interested in the topic as a queer stem student and yeah.

anyways --- i admire you! and thank you!! <333

Holy shirt - thank you, but I'm really no one special. I'm just a nerd who is also queer :D

For anyone missing context:

A post I have on here was talking about how psychologists and scientists agree that gender and sex are WAY more complicated than just "are you a boy or a girl." Someone jokingly added a post where a type of fungus has thousands of 'sexes' (it's not the correct term because sex is not an exact thing in this specific fungi - I believe it was described as mating types - but it's the closest allegory to humans).

And the TERFs just. Went off.

So like, I'm a scientist. My degrees are in biochemistry and cell and developmental biology. I have so many years of studying biology, understanding how human sex may alter response to drugs, etc. I've almost exclusively been working on human-related research and in hospitals since I was a sophomore in college.

And I was just like "well, yeah! This fungus thing is cool! Because it shows that not all biological sex is binary!"

Then a TERF came after me. Which I then added "And humans don't actually have a black-and-white binary either! Because, even at birth, you can be intersex! And transition later in life also can mimic these intersex patterns!"

See, when one is born, as most of you will know, the doctor looks 'down there' and is like "Penis? Boy. No Penis? Girl." Except we have a lot more going on than just external organs. In fact, anywhere from 1-2% of the population, conservatively, qualifies as intersex based on the most recent research, meaning that they do not exclusively express sexual traits that would quantify as 'just girl' or 'just boy.' This is not new, either - intersex people have existed throughout history, and, depending on the era and place, it was either embraced as a sort of 'birth of a religious leader' thing or 'we need to get this kid in the binary fast' thing.

So I'm just. Nerding out. Because this is cool. Humans are weird. We - along with most animals - don't all fall into neat little categories. It's more of a spectrum - where 'male,' classically, is high testosterone, facial hair, testes, and penis while classical 'female' is breast development, vagina, ovaries, and estrogen. Again, please note that I am using 'male' and 'female' here to define ends of the spectrum (we don't have better descriptors at this time - English, get on that!), but most people fall in between - yes, even cis people. I myself have thick hair all over my body, and I regularly bleach a mustache even though I am cis female. A large portion of the AMAB population develops breast tissue.

But people keep trying to insist that it's one or the other. They want the neat little boxes where you are A or B, but science isn't like that. Genetics are weird. Enviromental factors come into play. And I haven't even touched transition for nonbinary and trans people. No, I'm just talking about people who are born and decide 'hey I agree with the letter on my birth certificate.' Humans are weird.

Someone was even like "uh, but we only look at what gametes you make!"

Well, person who is not cool and wants to ignore science, even if it came down to only 'what gametes do you produce,' then there are still four categories - those people that produce eggs, those people that produce sperm, those that produce both, and those that produce neither. There is no way to slice it that does not end up with more than two categories or can massively exclude members you would otherwise put into that category.

Like, if a 'man' is one who produces sperm, and a 'woman' is one who doesn't, this not only excludes infertile people completely - including bio males who have every other benchmark of classical male development - but it also then could bring people who may be considered female into this category if they had undiscovered internal testes or intersex people who have always expressed both classical male and female traits. How do you classify a guy who did produce sperm but may have lost his testes due to cancer or a physical accident? Is this person still male, or is this now not male? What about a person who is cis male but has a hormone deficiency and can't produce sperm until they are on hormone replacement?

As previously stated, sex is complicated. We consider factors aside from gametes - like primary and secondary sexual organs, hormone levels, etc - to all be part of biological sex.

Now, I'm not saying 'don't trust science because it's messy and always changing' - no, that's not the point of science. Science is using what we know as truth now to design treatments and care based around said facts, but a scientist is always looking to verify those facts, whether by examining the literature or performing their own experimentation. They control for the different factors that can alter the results as much as possible - think of if you go to the doctor and they ask about if you have a bleeding disorder before prescribing a medication because this med will thin your blood, causing further bleeding, or if you have gastrointestinal issues before giving you a medication that might make that worse even though it would treat the headache you came in for.

For some people, taking this medication for three days will fix all of their ailments. For others, this medication will fix one thing, but you'll need another. For even more people, you're basically prescribing sugar pills. Getting the flu for my 80-year-old grandma who has diabetes is a much more serious ailment than me, a relatively healthy twenty-something, getting the exact same virus. Humans are weird and messy creatures, and science is constantly updating to take that into account. Science is a series of 'yes' and 'no' down a diagram tree, where we get to a point that is the hopeful answer, and we keep adding new questions so that we can get the most exact answer. These branches cross and mix, where multiple branches may lead to the same answer while others may completely derail to another solution because one factor didn't quite fit.

Sorry, I'm getting off track.

ANYWAY yes, biological sex is complicated, more like a series of slider bars than two concrete containers, and, if a TERF wants to argue with me on that, I'd love to talk about gametes and sexual organs until the cows come home.

[takaraphoenix]

20 Questions Game for Fic Writers

Tagged by @blairwaldcrf ! Thank you, dear! <3

1. How many works do you have on ao3?

As of right now, 1214 works! Damn, I've been busy :D"

2. What’s your total ao3 word count?

Currently at 9,167,371 words, slowly inching toward the 10 million mark!

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Oh gosh, the total list is so long at this point, with various one-off kind of deals, or fandoms I've moved on from.

I am currently considering myself an active writer in these fandoms though: Shadowhunters, Percy Jackson, Detective Conan/Magic Kaito, DC Comics.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Sorted by kudos, my top 5 fics are:

How Big, How Blue, How Beautiful (Marvel, Loki/Tony), with 7,945

My College Boyfriend (PJO, Nico/Percy), with 6,353

The Lion's Pride (Voltron, Shiro/Keith/Lance), with 6,163

The Ghost King of Summers High (PJO, Nico/Percy), with 5,600

Percy Jackson, Ambassador of Hades (PJO, Nico/Percy), with 4,985

Which actually looked really fucked up because yeah sure there's four super popular multi-chapter fics of mine. And then there is My College Boyfriend, which isn't just a oneshot, it is a oneshot with under 3k words. What. What.

And the, quite frankly frustrating, part here is that this oneshot only has 24 comments. Not even every 100th reader felt the need to leave a comment. That's just... so sad. Like. Genuinely, I think the kudos system broke commenting because the convenience of pressing a button beat actually expressing yourself genuinely through words and from the bottom of my heart, I find that depressing as fuck.

5. Do you respond to comments?

Always. Every single one of them. Because comments mean something. Someone took the time to tell you, with words, that they liked your work and maybe even what they liked about it.

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Ooof, multiple contestants from back in my day when I wrote German fics for the Beyblade fandom and wrote about... darker themes. Not all fics used to have happy endings. I wrote some fics that ended in a suicide, so I guess those.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Impossible to answer, because for as long as I've been active in English writing, all my fics have had happy endings. The guy gets the guy, the girl gets the girl, and they live happily ever after. The world is saved or the evil defeated, maybe there's even an epilogue of a next gen in there. That's my standard, it ends happily. So that makes it impossible to pick one that somehow ends happier than the rest. xD

8. Do you get hate on fics?

loool

Right. Sorry. Yeah. Yeah, of course. Funnily enough, never on the things you would assume attract hatred - the incest, the explicitly non-con stuff.

Nah, I got death threats and words that were somehow worse than death threats on my Oliver/Felicity fics in the DC fandom... a... straight canon ship... but not the canon ship from the multiverse that these vile assholes liked, so, ya know. Threaten the fans who love a ship you hate.

Also over the years, lotta nasty general homophobia for Nico/Percy in the PJO fandom - I have been writing in this fandom since 2010, and yes, there were really a lot of people especially in the earlier years who just hated the idea of making either Percy or Nico gay.

And the dumbasses who declare Jace/Alec incest and thus hate and threaten this ships fans in the Shadowhunters fandom. But still, inexplicably, like Alec. Even though, in canon, he's the one who was in love with Jace. I don't know, but if you claim the nasty, nasty incest is The Bad Thing, I think you should hate the character with the nasty, nasty incestuous feelings, instead of the fans who write perfectly tagged and filterable fics. But that's just me, I guess.

So yeah, top three of hatred I got over the years - but if you wanna read a highlight reel of bullshit hate mail I got, feel free to go and check out my Dear Anonymous Shitheads tag!

9. Do you write smut? If so what kind?

All kinds of smut? I don't know how to answer this question, to be honest. xD

I've written oral, anal, vaginal, mlm, wlw, m/m/f, rare m/f ships but usually either she pegs or it's ABOverse and she's an alpha, I generally pepper in some flavors of BDSM into it, I've written dub-con and non-con before, bestiality, double penetrations. I have written a lot.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve ever written?

Oh, that is absolutely going to my first ever crossover. Because my usual crossovers are, ya know, that Big Four animated movie crossover verse (Tangled/Brave/HTTYD/RotG), or "I like these two fandoms, how would A's characters fit into B's world/how would B's characters fit into A's world?" for... essentially all my fandoms, and I wouldn't call any of these crazy - because the Big Four crossover is a beast of an own fandom so it's not really "original" or far out there to write for it, and in all my other crossovers, I do pride myself on making it work, like, not just throwing characters together but fitting their backstories and special powers into how the other world works.

So the craziest one is absolutely A Hundred Times Over, which is a oneshot sequel to my first-ever English-written fic and was written as a celebration because it was my 100th fic back then.

The original fic was already a crossover between Detective Conan and PJO, so for the celebration I thought "okay so what if I throw in my current obsession - Doctor Who - and my first ever ship - Shere Khan/Bagheera?". So, yeah, this crossover between Detective Conan, Percy Jackson, Doctor Who and Jungle Book has to be my craziest so far.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

So often. So, so, so, so often.

If you see my fics on watpad or any other platform that isn't AO3 or Fanfiction.net - and if you see them on those two but posted by an author that ISN'T Takara Phoenix - then please, let me know. Drop me a link wherever you can, I always greatly appreciate being told that my fics have been stolen so I can report that person and have it taken down.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No. All of the stealing of my fics has made me incredibly uncomfortable with the idea of my fics flowing around on other people's accounts or other websites, especially since the first like four or so stolen fics I had were translated.

Someone took my fics, translated them into Spanish and Russian, and posted them on other platforms, without ever asking my permission.

I don't want thieves to more easily slip through the cracks in between authorized repostings of my stories, so I have the blanket policy to not allow translations.

If you see my fics in other languages, tell me.

(There is one story that has been translated, but I'm not sure how far it counts, because I did the translating myself, and that's Lass Uns Etwas Dummes Tun/Looking For Something Dumb to Do. It is a PJO fic about Nico/Percy that I wrote in celebration for Germany legalizing gay marriage in 2017; I wrote it in German first, due to that, and then decided to translate it into English since I know my core-audience are English-speakers and not German-speakers.)

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yeees!!! With my wonderful, amazing, lovely @kimmycup!!! ^-^

We've written a total of five fics together so far.

Three Shadowhunters fics: Hurting and Healing, a Magnus/Jace oneshot, Three Times the Boys Felt Left Out, a Jordan/Simon/Jace oneshot, A King By Any Other Name, a Alec/Jace oneshot.

A Vampire Academy oneshot about Mason/Christian: The Chance at a Happily Ever After.

And, our pride and joy, our 51k multichapter Shadowhunters/Vampire Academy crossover fic about Mason/Christian and Simon/Jace: Double Puppy Dare.

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

That's such a hard question to answer for me as a multishipper.

But to be quite honest, I think I would have to go with Kaito/Shinichi from Detective Conan/Magic Kaito?

It's the ship I've been the most consistently been faithful to and that, whenever I see it, sparks joy. That has proven that even when the fandom's gone dormant for me for months or years, it can reignite into a wildfire, where other fandoms just fizzle out and disappear from my interests then.

These two get me, they've been getting me for one and a half decades now and I doubt they'll stop any time soon.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

All of my unfinished German fics over on Animexx. When the German Beyblade fandom started to die, I tried to cling on, but at one point... when all your favorite writers, all your friends, have moved on? And then I started reading fics in English and soon after, also writing them in English. I feel bad about it, but it's just been far too long now.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Personally, I'd say world building. That's also my passion. I love creating elaborate worlds for my stories to take place in - I mean, damn, for the book series I'm writing, I developed my own language, religion and drew a map of the city it takes place in, among other things. A well-developed world is so important.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Oh, fight scenes and action and other things that...

When a character is good at a thing that I am not good in or know a lot about?

Like, when a character is super quippy and funny, but I am not really a one-liners-person so now I have to come up with quippy one-liners to capture his personality?

Or fighting or science, when a character is an expert in a field that I know nothing about and would not understand jackshit about even if I tried because it's not my wheelhouse? Those things, I really struggle with.

Also, I hate action and fight scenes. Like. That's the parts when I check my phone usually to avoid that my eyes glaze over from boredom. So, naturally, writing these things? Not fun. Not good at it either, imo. But certain fics - or rather, certain characters too - require action and fight scenes.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

Painful if you have to use Google Translate. If you know the language? Yeah, go for it! If you have to resort to Google Translate? Maybe just write it in italics and note that it's in x language. It spares both, the native speakers who will die from second hand embarrassment, and the non-speakers who... won't understand it anyway.

But in the cases that I use foreign languages (and usually when I do, it's just... pet-names. Things you can't really fuck up that much and things that people would say in another language even in English-main-dialogues), I always put the translation right behind the sentence, because it's a special brand of obnoxious when you have to scroll ALL the way to the end of a chapter or fic to see what tf you just read, and then scroll back up again.

Hate doing that, so I won't do that to my readers.

19. First fandom you ever wrote for?

Oh, that's Yu-Gi-Oh!, with a hurt/comfort Kaiba/Joey fic.

20. Favorite fic you’ve ever written?

Can't answer that, it always depends on my current mood which of my babies I love the most ;P

Tagging @kimmycup and @justonemorechapternicercy and @fallenqueen2 for this fun! And anyone else who wants to do it! <3

[lilac-udon]

The why do I need to use English to explain

Thoughts about the friend group, auby for now

I OVERTHINK OK

Sometimes I think about Aubrey, she is a tricky character to talk about , and in this friend group I don’t want to argue more about her. I’m going to sounds very petty, I don’t judge her much i just want to list out how I feel.

Summary, because auby took the album but the plot give it back doesn’t means its ok

The action of Aubrey taking basil photo album

Aubrey apologized to the friend’s group for her awful behavior towards basil, of not knowing the whole picture, so in her mind, she is in the wrong bullying Basil, however I hardly felt the sincere apology towards basil because we don’t have the time , besides the possibility of after hospital she might re apologies, for four years, and for the audience we know basil wrong Aubrey but not Aubrey(the feeling of Aubrey action is justified, and basil let it happen is due to what basil done to mari, from my view). But see it in another way, in her perspective, she even admitted she didn’t understand basil that time but now acknowledges it, it was brief, very brief that she probably if not hero an older person she actually respected and heard, she would just brush off the action of taking basil photos album . I know everyone is coping with their way, when kel came, her first defense was is the friend group abandoned her. What I’m saying is, the photo album she knows how important it’s for basil, and vaguely understands the idea she is being unfair to Basil, all those FOUR years she still has this attitude of I have the right to not give, not even hear SUnny wishes out for the return oc the photo album (who should in everyone knowledge suffer the most) she kept the picture for herself ,yes, but also not even let Sunny to see the album and throw them). The throwing always photo album don't felt that bad because KEl , sunny get it baCK.(I want to point out how bad it will be if there is no photo album How bad dose it felt ,if not for the plot let the audience forget about that.) even if I put it lightly if she only ignores Basil, and does not do any other bullying, she still views, mari, the photo album as hers. There is a lot of part of the writing meaning her actions but cut up with other stuff because, we can't make the plot too uneasy for the morning part, understandable, but please don't just forget it. But I know she is 16 and very realistic actually, that is how real people act, and I like her writing even though everyone says it’s not enough. I like her flaws and kindness, but also annoying when people view her as only a cool bossy girl, but everything is has a reason and it ok. She is not rational. It’s cool how she acts, yes, and I believe she might not be this mean but act tough due to the hooligans is around , just wanted ppl to know she is pretty shitty too, but everyone ignored this because they just wanted all of them to be kind and all that friendship is smooth, magic.

As a basil defender, I’m so salty of how everyone treats basil to be honest, sunny, basil even kel I nitpicking the hell of it please don’t take me serious

I don't hate her I just felt her character is warped due to mainstream keeping it healthy, and we cannot say any touchy stuff, everything needs to be forgiven or completely not when I finished the game I had so much emotion, and I understood a lot of things the game didn't say out loud and ppl will understand, but man I felt like soooo much stuff people isn't acknowledging it, they are just straightly forgetting it exists , everyone is good person , and keep on shitting on basil, maby sunny

[michyeosseo]

looking back…….

uncharacteristically, i took a hiatus in 2022. despite bouts of inactivity, by instinct, i turn to gifsets as my personal reprieve but this year has been doubly heavy (which must hold true for a lot of us by now). chronic fatigue left the latter, greater chunk of the year a blur. oof. stress aside, i have completed a couple of releases this year. this post is somehow most of them. though if you ask me to fill up any sort of bingo, please, i decline.

still in the process of retrieving my giffer groove back so may this write-up inspired by my brilliant mutuals suffice.

a preview of the titles you'll be able to read underneath. four dramas sorted chronologically... those that i remember finishing (important criteria!!) and to round them off, one i am in the midst* of watching. there's another that i omitted to not do an overlong list but a shoutout to the ever-charming law of the lady.

pride & price

feb-mar | 29 episodes @ youku

Female virtue is not morality but a ghost of the old ages. Why are labels for women so specific and detailed? Do we have to sit in the right seat? Do we have the right to refuse to be any kind of perfect woman?

if you were wondering why this, out of the blue, became my tumblog title you probably weren't but here's the reason: i was just that into it. i got winded into following its daily stream timing (10pm sharp) roped a friend in, too hahaha no but seriously, 'girlbosses in the fashion industry' seem like most stale premise but who knew a cdrama had what it takes for it to not be made basic. the <blossom> magazine being on the cusp of medium change in the year 2016/2017 - print versus online. ideals it stands for contested by how the target audience can relate versus how much profit they can rake in. fractures forming within the staff and at the eye of the storm is who gets to be the new editor. the two candidates: miranda chen kaiyi and helen xiao hongxue. yes, i put their english names there not just as decor. we start the series acquainted with kaiyi, complete with a devil wears prada-esque intro. she’s exacting to down to the minute details, she’s the public face of the publication except she signs off as the deputy editor. the parent company assigns the chief editorship of the besieged magazine to the person at the helm of the successful hongkong branch, hongxue. her alliance (or supposed defeat) is the key to win <blossom>.

besides the main leads, the ensemble consists of ladies in positions ranging from human resources head down to the rookie assistants. different degree of darlings the <blossom> squad may be with the vision admirably determined but the 29eps can still be trimmed down imho. i could go on and on (towards spoiling the entire thing) but what i'll say is the vermin masquerading as men who surrounded them, expecting catfights, were bound to lose. thoroughly. why? they were blinded by insecurity projections. also because they cannot fathom that women naturally are inclined to admire other women, that strength stems from being cognizant of mutual sorrows. plus, they're not privy to the wooing power of chocolate.

the legendary life of queen lau

jun-jul | 36 episodes @ viki

There are no fairies in this world. But even if there is a fairy, it would be me.

LAMU (jackie li) IS A STAR. let me state that for the record. i am very salty the webdrama's all but buried under controversies (ugh, plural) because it brought me so much unbridled joy. queen lau was so unserious it has a palace p.a. system with functions such as weather forecasts, sports commentary, serenades, etcetera like... heylo?

heipang, a countryside girl prodded by her mother (to fix their local village curse) heads to the capital to be wedded. there, she finds out her longtime penpal/betrothed boy is the new emperor and only hitch to her happily ever after is he does not really know her. sorta hates her existence, even. she meets her father first, the chief counselor aka the antagonist, she's christened a new name befitting the nation's phoenix. she meets a handmaid, she becomes steadfast on her side ever since. the dowager empress, she leaves an even greater impression as untraditional daughter-in-law. she meets her half-sister, she bonds with her thus averting a rivalry. she meets her husband's motley crew (the royal chef, the chief guard, the court physician), she wrecks them before lunch. you get the gist. her same-age castmates, limited acting aside, were carried by the fact lamu's so adept in comparison. i appreciate a comedy that doesn't try that hard in the outrageous department. 'twas possible because of her pun timing, her reactions, her charisma - anyone with sense would be buying the fantasy. i say fantasy but it's the core message: that liu jinfeng's self-assured enough to ignore/convert her detractors as she dances. the lovely queen leading the entire palace during catchy dance sequences, that's quite novel, isn't it?

sleep with me

aug | 6 episodes @ iwanttfc

Tower ka ba? Because Eiffel for you.

gorgeous poster, yes/yes? here's another from their promo spread. hailing from the writing and direction of samantha lee is a project i had my eye on since its announcement. of her two films i previously saw, my reception were polar opposites. hence, cautious, i approached what is to be my third filipino gl series. [previous ones were betcin and fluid. pearl next door is in my list, promise, i just haven't gotten around to continuing so it's fairer not to count it yet.]

if you've seen my billie & emma gifset before, harry & luna's story is like that but grown up. not an exact copy since i thought that was meant for lil' unknowing queer me but the same cinematic, almost nostalgic lens applies. harry is a nighttime dj and luna is a... well... vampire. the pace is just right and soft (without insulting) kind of coddling. finally, a lovi poe acting thing i can sit down for where i can be mesmerized without suffering a cheating/stealing husbands storyline. janine gutierrez has the brightest smile, beautiful like the moon. they both had spaces to grow in the narrative and if there's one thing direk sam and i will find sure common ground is her punctuating that with the perfect soundtrack. of course, it would be a crime if that wasn't the case, their meet-cute was at a radio station. local sapphic references are just bound to hit different *wipes tear* a fitting august gift.

glitch

oct | 10 episodes @ netflix

I can't let them take you. I'm taking you with me.

i love, love, love how all my mutuals went, "jeon yeobin and nana lesbians" after the vague initial boyfriend-ghosted-her-and-she-stumbles-into-an-alien-cult synopsis came out. ironically, we didn't even need to be ribbing each other 'cause they were, in fact, e.t. enthusiasts reconnected~ with obvious next step: risking it all by choice. not sorry about all of this, donghwi.

negl don't really have notes about glitch (minus the usual problem where kdramas don't edit out superfluous footage). they did everything better than any given entry of the ntflx originals roster so if there's one kdrama you should pick up from their catalogue this year, let it be this zany adventure and i promise you won't be disappointed.

she loves to cook and she loves to eat

dec | 10 episodes @ furritsubs

My neighbor two doors down... is an incredible, one-in-a-million gal!?

my friend who loves kinou nani tabeta recommended this. saw the first two episodes as of this post but i have read the manga, gobbled that up with a quickness.

*you can gauge how anticipatory i am of an adaptation if i go and seek out the source material... some cases, it ruins things for me lol but i am of the belief if they're done well, they'd hold up on their own merit with/without changes when i compare.

in the case of tsukutabe, from what i've seen, the dialogue and interactions were lifted right from manga page to the actresses doing the scenes. yes, scenes upon scenes about enjoying heavenly food. fluffy af, the notion of finding an avenue of bonding in this day and age of tightly packed yet ever-distant neighbors. nomoto and kasuga have unrelated jobs but happen to notice each other in their daily comings and goings – the whiff of her cooking, the common denominator. i will be taking my time with this series so i'm unlikely to finish this before new year's eve but i just want to mark it having aired on nhk, a public channel in japan. the creator emphasizes how cooking as a hobby isn't only a means to be someone's proper wife/mother + portions of food mustn't be treated according to gendered prejudice but it should be up one's pleasure and capability to eat. i know many more shared meals await them and that thought makes me feel lighter already. all it took was some courage to ask for her to find what she was searching.