#yes im a cat lady

[sunlaire]

The crew make it back to England and a few months later, the admiralty host a social function and crozier is only going so he can check in with the men, see how they're recovering. And while he's there, he spots James. But as he approaches, he overhears him talking about this "beautiful and elegant creature" he has back home

And crozier thinks "ah, alas. He is straight. But I'm happy he found someone..."

Meanwhile James won't stop telling people about his cat. Also he's carrying the BIGGEST torch for his co-captain, who is tragically uninterested in men. Whacky shenanigans ensue

[love-songs-for-emma]

im actually amazed i cant find this;

SPN FRIENDS HII

do any of u know where i could find a gif of dean saying the iconic quote of "You know who wears sunglasses inside? Blind people. And douchebags." from s9 e5 "dog dean afternoon"

i SWEAR i had it saved years ago but i cant find it. pls help. xoxo

[puppyeared]

lemme just, *tweaks it like i would with a picture frame*

[slippery-minghus]

hmm. had an actual conversation with nightmare coworker today that seemed mutually productive. she apologized for saying some bullshit that hurt my feelings and i clarified that my intentions are to help not to undermine her, and we both agreed that there's no competition against each other and that it's the lack of growth in our role that's the problem. it was...productive.

and further cementing for me that it is time to begin making my Exit. i will be sending out my resume to a few places this weekend.

i'm still processing the conversation, and am struggling to place myself in where i am responsible to better my behavior. because i genuinely don't want to be an ass, even though i really don't like this lady and will jump for joy the day i never have to see her again. she stated that she knows my intentions aren't to hurt her, and that she thinks i'm very kind. i apologized for if my behavior came off as undermining her, and said that my intentions are only to better my own growth—and that i know she's trying to succeed too. i validated her feelings, and complemented the effort she is putting in.

where i'm struggling with is: am i in the wrong/causing harm and needing to change if the issue is that her feelings are incongruent with what she knows of my intentions? her feelings are her responsibility (WOW i almost typed "her feelings are my responsibility". i feel like that's a freudian slip) and she states that she knows i don't mean to hurt her. i'm going to try to be more clear in wording my intentions with her (she feels like me trying to take work off her plate is to undermine her. when really, i'm caught up and see her getting overwhelmed, and i want to help and also have something to do since i'm bored).

but i'm really struggling to look at my role in this and pass judgement on myself. i can and want to do better, and i don't think i did anything wrong, but i'm always so hesitant to say it's not my fault or i didn't do something bad. like i can't trust my judgement on that. my intentions were good, her bad feelings are ones caused by her insecurities, which she more or less has expressed to be aware that they are not true—the hurtful thing she said to me, she acknowledged was said out of hurt and not what she actually thinks. so, is it fair to say i'm not the bad guy? i'm not in the wrong? i know good intentions that still result in harm don't absolve anyone, but when the things that are clashing are insufficient communication and reactive insecurities... i'm not a monster, am i?

[vanilladrizzlequeen]

anywayyyy random stuff I’m lowkey (highkey ig) literally obsessed with:

-School for Good and Evil (especially anything to do with Hester and/or Anadil) (also DOVESSO)

-Six the Musical

-Wings of Fire

-i used to read Warrior Cats and I still lowkey like them lol even tho the books were kinda trashy and there wasn’t much plot

[gaylittlewizardcat]

Jellylorum supremacy

[ask-sticks-n-stones]

Red led the cat on the leash to Vic's room, knocking, but getting no reply.

Maybe Vic was asleep? .. that'd be reasonable, they wouldn't be the first person to sleep all the time.. but they had a reason to be sleeping, a lot was probably going on, they probably just .. needed to think about it??

Red could come up with infinite possiblities for why Vic didn't answer the door to be entirely honest, but instead he just gently opened the door, and let the cat inside.

Vic was, in fact, laying on the bed, lightly breathing. He saw the slight rise and fall of their slightly thinner-than-normal lineart and put a note on the note stand, along with leaving the cat in the room, but of course with the door open a creak so aforementioned cat could leave if it so chose to.

Vic wasn't actually asleep, however, they were just faking it because they really didn't want to interact with any of them.. they couldn't get attached. Not when the looming threat of going back still lingered.

A piece of paper on their nightstand caught their attention.

'Meet your new bestie! She doesn't have a name, so you can name her yourself. She's a Minecraft cat, so you don't technically have to feed her to live. I thought that'd be better for you so you don't have to suddenly be thrown into a super active lifestyle after .. however long of doing nothing, and not putting a real cat in danger. It's a big shift, I know, but let her help you through it. -Red'

Vic sighed. 'God, damn it.. these people need to stop being nice to me..'

They glanced to the small black cat roaming their floor. It had big yellow eyes and it's fur was very short. Suddenly, Vic felt a lot less angry. It was actually pretty.. cute? They didn't really know how to describe their emotions yet.

Against their better judgement, they gently picked her up..

They shivered as the eerily warm blood slowly leaked from the wound down their cheek, frozen in place in surprise, minus small twitching.

"..."

[esleep]

i actually do kinda like delivering groceries on the side because it gives me such a unique cross-section of the community. i never know whose groceries im shopping for until i finish the delivery and see them/their home and it's like it adds more detail to the picture of who they are. the baby supplies going to the apartment that i know for a fact is one bedroom (they'll be moving soon - i bet they're apartment hunting, i hope they find a place). the new cat litter box, bowl, and kitten food going to the house covered in "i <3 my dog" paraphernalia (a kitten definitely showed up on the porch recently and made itself at home). the fairly healthy boring grocery order that includes an incongruous tub of candy-filled ice cream going to the home of an elderly woman with toddler toys in the yard (it's clearly for her grandkids, whom she sees often).

shopping for someone else's groceries is a fairly intimate thing. i've bought condoms and pregnancy tests, allergy medicine and nyquil, baby benadryl and teething gel, a huge pile of veggies paired with an equally huge pile of junk food, tampons and shampoo and closet organizers and ant traps and deodorizing shoe inserts and a million other little things that tell a million different stories in their endless combinations. one time someone had me buy one single green bean. i messaged them to confirm that's actually what they wanted, and they said yes - neither of them liked green beans very much, but they had a baby they were introducing to solid foods, and they wanted to let him try one to see if he liked them. another time i had someone request 50 fresh roma tomatoes - not for a restaurant, but for a person in an apartment. the kitchen behind them smelled like basil and garlic when they opened the door. another time i brought groceries to three elderly blind women who share a house. that was one of the few times i have ever broken my rule and gone inside a place i've delivered to, because they asked if i could place the grocery bags in a specific location in the kitchen for them to work on unloading and there was no way i was going to refuse helping.

i gripe about the poor tippers, but people can also be incredibly kind. one time i took shelter from a sudden vicious hailstorm inside an older lady's home in a trailer park, while i was in the middle of delivering her groceries. we both huddled just inside the door, watching in shock as golf-ball-sized hail swept through for about five minutes and then disappeared. she handed me an extra $10 bill on my way out the door.

when covid was at its deadliest, people would leave extra (often lysol-scented) cash tips and thank-you notes for me taped to the door or partially under the mat. i especially loved the clearly kid-drawn thank you notes with marker renderings of blobby people in masks, or trees, or rainbows. in summer of 2020 i delivered to a nice older couple who lived outside of town in the hills, and they insisted i take a huge double handful of extra disposable gloves and masks to wear while shopping - those were hard to find in stores at the time, but they wanted me to have some of their supply and wouldn't take no for an answer.

anyway. all this to say people are mostly good, or at least trying to be, despite my complaints.

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

i watched My Neighbor Totoro for the first time, here's my chronological viewing experience:

woo-hoo! dusty old japanese house with japanese architectural details aplenty

these kids got some ENERGY my goodness

family dynamic's adorable. peak quality dad humor

kids: our house is haunted. parents: that's so cool!

hell yeah, wrinkled old lady rep. we need more friendly old women with potato faces and warts like storybook witches. the backbone of society, these ladies

Plot Summary: Small Child Bothers Local Wildlife

sacred tree sacred tree sacred tree

Introducing Totoro! nobody said this fucker's got TEETH???

Uh-Oh! Inadequate Parental Supervision Detected

(you misplaced your four year old! you're not supposed to do that)

4-year-old: i met a magic forest spirit. dad: oh shit fr?

4-year-old: *angrily hugs sister* missed u bitch

this small child has a smile like a toad. like a really really cute toad. like the cutest toad in all existence. i love her she's perfection please just let this child be happy

rice paddies are so pretty....so back breaking....rice is such a prissy crop

*my crush is stranded in a rainstorm* takethisumbrellait'syoursnowBYE *runs away in panic im so good at flirting*

Giant Chinchilla Learns To Hold Umbrella, Is Fucking Delighted By Experience

take this, it will help you on your quest! *hands u trail mix wrapped in a leaf*

LO-FI HIP HOP STUDY LIST!

crouching down to peer at dirt--A++ top notch foundational childhood experience

mom has a big ass forehead

honey! the chinchillas are performing Rituals in the backyard again

help yeah let's jack and the bean stalk this shit

huh so we're all just climbing aboard the giant chinchilla's tiddies now ok

class trip!

the pure adrenaline of Vegetable Gardening

no! the small child is crying! she is bawling her eyes out. no no no. i can't cope with this. emotionally i cannot cope 🥺🥺🥺

i've only had Mei one hour but if anything happens to her i will raze this earth and everyone on it

please someone make this small child smile again

oh no the tall child is crying too

i can't take this. my heart can't take this.

i need a drink

small child running determined to deliver magic veggies to the hospital. this kid is my hero

she is also unsupervised. so, so unsupervised

babe you are FOUR

godDAMMIT ghibli, you cannot give me watercolor sunsets while a small child is missing. u are killing me. my heart is giving out. this is me, experiencing heart failure.

Totoro to the rescue!

no wait CATBUS to the rescue!

i admit i initially thought the cat was a creep. alice in wonderland prejudiced me. i have revised my notions of smiling cats

i've decided the cat is a metaphor for the magic of a robust public transport system

MEI'S OKAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and so is mom. she's a lovely lady im sorry for what i said about her forehead. it's a noble forehead.

happy ending YES bitch!!!!!!

ok. ok ok ok. that was magical.

(as a first-time adult viewer i was worried i wouldn't be able to Access the Magic. but i could and i did and it was incredible. that was culture. that was ART. joy distilled into animated form. holy rites of childhood. i understand now. how glorious, this world we grow out of. how full of marvels. i'm going outside to smell grass and sun and get dirt under my fingernails. miraculous.)

[confused-wanderer]

..the batfam siblings are randomnly getting teleported through time to the original days of batman and robin, but somehow Bruce is nowhere to be seen. This leads to so many more questions, and each of them has begged the villains to just put them out of their misery at some point.

Exhibit 1

Jason *teleports into Wayne Manor*

Jason: what the actual fuck is happening?

Eight year old Dick:

Jason:

Jason: Ah sh- shoot.. Hey there..

Eight year old Dick *lip trembles*

Jason *panicking* : uhhhh hey kid please don’t cry-

*WHAM*

Jason’s knees explode in pain as he doubled over and then there’s a continuous tornado of blows coming before he’s down for the count

Eight year old Dick: IM GONNA ROCK YOUR SHIT FUCKER *about to smash a granite statue on Jason’s head if Alfred hadn’t walked in at that moment*

Jason *tasting blood and wheezing* : I- I think my ribs are broken.. also why does this fucking feel like déjà vu?

Exhibit 2

Tim:

Robin!Dick:

Tim: uh- hey Dick?

*villain appears*

Tim *running in front* : Don’t worry I’ll protect yo-

Robin!Dick running out from behind him wielding an electric blowtorch he stole from Tim: MEET YOUR END TODAY!

Tim *panicking* : ROBIN NO

Dick *cackling* : ROBIN YES

Exhibit 3

Damian:

Dick:

Damian: Richard.. you’re- not what I expected.

Dick *scaling the side of the skyscraper to help a cat stuck there*

Damian: .. Compassion is a quality you always-

Damian:

Damian: .. Richard.. where is the rest of your gear?

Robin!Dick *with cats in hand running off the ledge*

Damian: RICHARD WHERE IS YOUR GRAPPLING HOOK?!

Dick ended up doing several gymnastic moves, giving a perfect landing with the cat in tow and not a single scratch on him. Damian has stopped functioning.

Bonus

Cass *smiling warmly*

Dick *smiling and waving* : HI NICE LADY!! Do you want a cookie? Alfred made them!!

Cass *taking the packet Dick is trying to hold upright*

Dick: That ones for you! And this *takes out a small box with a skull drawn on it with crayons* is for your family! I know you don’t like talking about them.. and I think they’re the ones who hurt you. Just give them one cookie and they’ll never bother you again!

Cass: :) . Thanks.. but cookie not solve everything..

Dick: Aww..

Dick:

Dick: If I burn their house down will that work?

Cass: •_•

[femmehepbvrn]

If you don't like farmers markets are u good???

[closets-closet]

THIS COULD WORK WITH EITHER PRICE OR GHOST AND I LOVE BOTH SO MUCH SOO U PICK 😖

141 finding out on accident that ghost/price is married?!?! BEEN married. They bug him to introduce them to the missus, and he finally does it so they leave him alone, he takes them to his house made a home by the sweet bundle of light, shes a absolute darling, gorgeous thing. They’re kinda shocked how he pulled that

IM MELTINGGHFBDBSBZK

I LOVE THIS, could you imagine the chaos on base when Johnny or Kyle finds out about this mystery woman. Because we know damn well Simon pulled a drop dead gorgeous wife. Anywhosie here’s my take on this amazing prompt.

“Simon Pleaseeeee” Johnny trails out his arms dramatically spread out infront of him. It was just recently Price slipped up and revealed to the team that Simon was married and has a Missus at home, and that’s all it took for Johnny and Kyle to lose their minds. “Simon” Kyle dead pans “Why won’t you let us see the lady” Simon huffs, before looking at both of them, frustration bubbling in his chest. “Not happening mate, work and personal life stay separate.” He grumbles one more time before pushing out of his seat, slinging his duffle bag over his shoulder and making his way to the door. “Now if you don’t mind, i’ve got my lady waitin’ for me at home.”

-

“Dove?” You hear your husband call from the front door of your shared home “I’m back” You appear from around the door way to the kitchen, apron tied around your waist and hair up “Welcome home” You smile “I’ve almost finished dinner for you” He walks into the kitchen immediately circling your waist with his hands burring his face in your neck “I’m conflicted” He admits quietly as he takes you in “The boys want to meet you, but I don’t want them to know how lucky i’ve gotten.” You sigh gently hooking your fingers under the black balaclava that covers his face, slowly pulling it off. “It’s your choice, but I don’t mind having them come by, I’ll make them dinner and everything” You hand brushes over his cheek before planing a small kiss across his lips. “Okay then” He whispers leaving into a little bit more “We’ll have them over”

-

“Finally” Johnny cheers excitedly as they walk up the drive to your shared home, a modest one story at the end of a small residential street. “Got you a quaint little place here” Price comments as they stand at the door, the smell of food wafting out from behind it. “Come on in fellas” Simon says as he pushes open the front door.

“Hello everyone” you greet, voice floating towards them. “It’s so nice to finally meet you all, Si happens to talk about you guys a whole bunch.” The smile you gives them melts the boys all to puddles. “Please come in, make yourself at home” you step aside letting them all in.

“Beautiful home you’ve got here ma’am” Kyle says stepping further into the house that’s littered with framed pictures of you and Simon together. “L.T never told me you clean up so well” Johnny teases as he examines a wedding photos that hangs over the kitchen bar. Simon moves to stand behind you, hands resting on your waist gently. Price moves to stand infront of you extending his hand “John Price” He introduces, You meet his hand shaking it firmly “Thank you for keeping him safe” You respond giving him a warm smile that melts him. “How long ye been married” Johnny pipes up from the living room where he’s petting yours and Simon’s cat. “About 3 years” you question out trying to remember exact dates. Simon lets out a long sigh, a symbol this is going to be a long night for him.

-

-

It’s about 23:30 when the boys leave. “That wasn’t so bad” You sigh taking a seat next to Simon on the couch, wine glass pinched between your fingers “They’re good kids” You mention snuggling close to your husband. “They are” He admits looking down at you, the smell of the whisky he’s drinking flooding your nose “Should have em around more often” you say looking to him “They make you smile in a way I don’t see to often” He looks to you smiling gently “I guess they do” He whispers getting closer to you pressing a small kiss to your lips.

I should be his wife *SIGH*

[dezznuggz]

Friendship Test |Joe keery × reader

~ Rumors spread about you and Joe keery dating based on the little clips they see behind the scenes and when you guys are out together in public. While y'all film a video about friendship testing, you guys seem as if you're both head over heels for each other.

Warning: readers pronouns are she/her, usage of y/n, brief mentions of stranger things

---------×--------------×--------------×------------------×--

"I feel like I'm pretty close to him, I mean I think he knows me pretty well and I know him pretty well." You say to the camera as you describe your and Joe's friendship and what your perspective of it is. The people behind the camera laugh, since they heard something completely different from Joe.

"she bullies me, she's mean to me and she calls me names" Joe says to the camera with a straight and concerned face which causes the people behind the camera to go quiet, "I'm joking, none of that's true" Joe says as he cracks a smile to calm down the people behind the camera.

"when I first met him, I had so much fun with him on set, he might look scary and serious but once you get to know him or talk to him, he's like a black cat, if that makes sense..." You describe how you see Joe and how it was like when you first met him. The people behind the camera laugh again as they notice how you and Joe seem to be the same people but different fonts. (No wonder people ship y'all).

"I first met her and I was super scared. I mean she looked intimidating and she kinda looked like she knew what she was doing, which made me a little insecure until she talked to me and ever since then, she's been like a little golden retriever if that makes sense." Joe describes you as if you were something precious and valuable.

∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆

You and Joe finally get back in a room together and you both can't stop smiling. It's like you're both much more happier to just be in each other's presence. The people behind the camera then ask y'all to write 3 things that you like about each other.

"Jesus I gotta think about this one, there's really nothing good to you" Joe says in a joking way and acts as if he's thinking real hard, "ha ha very funny, you know you're not the most interesting person either" you say back in a sarcastic tone as you notice Joe already writing stuff down real fast. "Woah you're writing a lot", you say while looking from your paper to Joe writing a whole essay, "yes Im practically writing a novel over here" Joe replies back without looking up which causes you to laugh at his comment.

Once you and Joe finish, Joe then says "ladies first" and has you read your paper. "Joe, I think that you're one of the most calmest person I know when it comes to any situation" You finish reading the first part of your paper with a bright smile that makes Joe's heart melt. "Y/n...you are like a big ball of sunshine that can light up a dark room" Joe says as he looks up from his paper to see your reaction, "aww wait that's actually sweet I wanna redo mine" you say with a cute puppy face that Joe adores seeing every time. "Joe, I think your sarcastic humor can make any situation feel comfortable" you look up at Joe with a bit of a sour face not knowing if that's a compliment or not but Joe seems to relieve your unsure feeling, "well that's what I'm here for" Joes comment makes you let out a small scoff.

"Y/n, although you have a child mindset, you are very responsible when it comes to situations" Joe then looks up from his paper again only see you have a faint smile on your lips, "that's actually really nice". "Thank you" you and Joe say to eachother. "Joe I think you have a heart of gold, you have a super kind personality that everyone loves" you say as you look into Joe's eyes since they're staring deeply into yours, "thank you very much" "you welcome" you and Joe say to eachother again with bright smiles, "y/n, you are a very welcoming and trustworthy person, I feel like you're very open to everyone and you make people feel comfortable very easily" joe says while moving his hands around to explain how he sees you, "thank you thats really sweet" you reply to Joe's compliment with a warm smile.

-

"I actually like getting compliments, they make me feel better" you say while looking at the camera with a bright smile. "That was actually really nice, you know it's not every day that you look someone in the eyes and give them a compliment" Joe says as he looks in your eyes again, "yea usually it's brief short and simple but doing this made me feel better, did it make you feel better" you add onto to Joe's statement then ask him a question which he answers pretty fast, "yes honestly i enjoyed all this" joe moves his arms around his area to show that he's enjoying the whole 'interview' thing while purposely hitting you gently, this caused you to swat his arm away from your face and push his shoulder as joe laughs with the camera people.

∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆

Next the camera people had you and Joe stand Infront of each other and stare into each other's eyes for 4 minutes straight. You and Joe then look up to make eye contact but then you burst out laughing when Joe says that it's going to be awkward, "no no don't smile cause you're going to make me laugh" you say while trying to hold in your laugh. You then cool down from your laugh and now it's you and Joe staring into eachother eyes in complete silence, now that you're actually looking at him close up, he's actually really handsome and when did he get so many moles? (they still look cute). Joe admires your eyes that are big and sparkly, he notices how Everytime you blink, you look at his other eye. Joe then sees how your lips always have a little curve at the end, and how your eyes look almost identical to fox's eyes but that just makes your eyes look even more beautiful.

"You know it's not every day that you stare into your best friends eyes for 4 minutes" Joe break the silence with a statement which causes you to laugh, "yea I don't really do this often, I have trouble making eye contact with people" you say with a faint smile on your lips, "I know you do, that's why you keep looking from one eye to the other" Joe then points back and forth from his left eye to his right eye, "okay okay sorry I'll look at the right one", you say as you try your best to stay focus to one eye, "it's okay, it's fine" Joe says in a quiet tone for only you to hear.

"Your pupils are really small" you tell Joe, "I haven't even been looking at your pupils, I didn't even know they were there" Joe says with realization that he's been focused on you instead of your eyes, this causes you to laugh and almost break eye contact which Joe then puts his hands on both sides your shoulders to hold you still from moving around from laughter. "Don't make me laugh then I can't concentrate" you say while trying to hold back your smile

"And time" a person from behind the camera says which doesn't cause you and Joe to break eye contact, "okay stop stop" you say as you look away while covering your face, "I can't look away, I don't want to look away", Joe says while looking at you turn away from him, "no look away" you reply back to joe as you fan your face to stop it from turning red.

-

"That was great honestly" you say as you sway from side to side and bumping shoulders with Joe. "That's definitely something new to her" Joe says while pointing a finger towards your direction, "yes completely new but it was honestly relaxing for some reason" you nod your head after adding on to Steve's statement, "it was kinda crazy how our bodies would connect like how you would laugh which would make me laugh but once you stopped laughing then my body suddenly stopped laughing too", Joe says as he tries to explain how his experience was while still not looking away from you (you were making brief eye contact towards him). Joe then wraps his arm around your shoulder with a smile and almost out of instinct, you wrap your arm around his waist and pose as if it was a family (or a couples) picture.

∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆

You and Joe then were told to do a trust fall with eachother. It sounded more exciting than it actually was.

"Okay promise to catch me, don't play a stupid joke" you say as you finally look deep into Joe's eyes, "okay I won't drop you" Joe says but then side eyes the camera which you notice then makes you hesitant, "no joe dont do that, promise not to drop me" you say as you playfully hit Joe's shoulder to tell him to cut it out but then you stick you pinky out for joe to intertwine. "Okay okay I won't drop you for a stupid joke" Joe intertwines his pinky with your but not before rolling his eyes playfully.

You then have your back faced towards Joe with both your arms crossed over your chest, "okay ready?". "Yes I'm ready go" after Joe says that he's ready you let your whole body go and fall backwards, Joe catches you with ease and then he pushes you back up in a playful but forceful way which caused you to almost fall forward, you then turn around and smack him on his chest as he tries to block himself from your hits, "okay okay I'm sorry, we'll do it again" Joe says as he still tries to block and defend himself from being "abused", "okay but this time done do anything stupid, I mean it Joe" you say as you point a finger in his face, trying your best to scare him but he just found you cute.

Your back is facing Joe again but this time you're putting all you're trust into him, I mean it is called 'trust fall' for a reason, you then fall backwards and Joe catches you with ease again but then he squats down while still holding your weight which makes you lean back further, "okay Joe STOP!" You almost scream out as you reach your hands Infront of you in hopes of grabbing something to prevent you from falling backwards.

Joe pushes you back up while laughing at your reaction, you on the other hand was not a fan of it as you kept smacking him on his back or wherever you can hit him as he kept moving and blocking your hits. Your hits were nothing to Joe, it almost felt like he was getting hit by a baby, your punches were weak even if you were putting all of your strength to get back at him for almost making you fall twice. You and Joe then get everything together and have Joe take his turn. Now Joe's back was facing towards you and as a joke, Joe threatened to put all his weight and jump on you hoping that you catch him.

Joe waits for your signal to let him know that you're ready but behind his back you're mentally and physically preparing yourself for the amount of weight you're about to catch. You were stretching and shaking your arms as the camera crew laughed at your actions which caused Joe to look back confused with all the laughter. Joe then sees you warming up which caused him to roll his eyes playfully at your antics. "Okay I'm finally ready go" you say as you have your arms extended out waiting for joe to fall backwards.

"Okay I go?". "Yea go". "Now?". "Yea dude I'm ready". "Alright..." You and Joe went back and forth as joe was a little scared that you were gonna sabotage him as he did to you and you were scared that you were gonna drop him and you'll both go down together. As you wait for joe to fall backwards he continued acting foolish, "okay I go now right?" Joe says as now he's acting silly just to hear your laugh as it was music to his ears. "YES JOE GO!" You say loudly while laughing at his actions then unexpectedly, he fell backwards and you caught him successfully but not without you struggling a little.

Joe laughed at your little grunts that he could hear behind him as your struggle to push him up. Once you pushed him up, you let out a loud breath, "okay again?" Joe says as he prepared to fall backwards on you again, "no no no no" you say frantically as you speed walk away from him to avoid from getting squished by him. This caused Joe and the camera people to laugh.

∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆

You and Joe then decide to close out the video by saying your goodbyes. "Yayyy we're done, now we're the bestest of friends" you say in a sarcastic joyful tone as you hug Joe's arm, which caused him to touch your arm with his left arm (the arm that you're not holding), "yea I'm pretty hungry, you down for sum pizza later?" Joe asks you which you respond with your face lighting up, "I don't know if I should eat pizza right now, it might make me lose my muscles" you say while releasing your hold on Joe's arm and flexing your arm to show your non existent muscles. Joe chuckles but then plays along with you, "yea sure, matter a fact I think I have bruises on my back cause of you" Joe says as he starts to turn around and prepare to lift his shirt to show his back but then he gets interrupted by you, "nu uh alright guys that's all for today byeee" you say with a bright smile and standing with your arms open Infront of Joe to block out anything that the camera could catch of Joe's toned back.

[sunflowerkiwis]

Sparks Fly

daniel ricciardo x reader, platonic!lando norris x reader

not much of a plot

feedback is appreciated + requests are open

enjoy xx

yourinstagram

liked by danielricciardo, charles_leclerc, and 2,764,856 others

yourinstagram i see sparks fly whenever you smile💜

tagged: danielricciardo

view all comments

user01 the way he looks at her🥲

taylorswift real

landonorris real

pierregasly real

georgerussell63 real

yourinstagram ariana what are you doing here??

user03 i think yn’s was the realest😭💀

user05 they called all of us single in swiftie and a hundred other languages

user07 find you someone who looks at you the way daniel looks at yn

liked by yourinstagram

danielricciardo who’s that handsome lad?

yourinstagram just some random bloke i found on the street

danielricciardo is he single?

yourinstagram im afraid not

danielricciardo his girlfriend doesn’t have to know 👀

yourinstagram i can’t stand you sometimes

danielricciardo you love me

yourinstagram i know

landonorris 🤢

danielricciardo 🙄🙄

liked by yourinstagram

danielricciardo

liked by georgerussell63, redbullracing, and 2,645,893 others

danielricciardo i’m captivated by you like a fireworks show

view all comments

user23 me too, daniel. me too.

charles_leclerc please tell yn to stop climbing on things she should not be climbing

danielricciardo i try my best

oscarpiastri pretty sure she thinks she’s a cat

yourinstagram i’ll never stop🥰

yourinstagram meow meow mf

yourinstagram damn

yourinstagram lucky lady

danielricciardo she sure is 😉

landonorris side eye

yourinstagram why are you always here omg

landonorris it’s a public post

yourinstagram shut up

landonorris simp

liked by yourinstagram

yourinstagram love u💜

liked by danielricciardo

danielricciardo love you more❤️

liked by yourinstagram

user11 why can’t i get a bf like this😀

yourinstagram don’t worry, you’ll get there bby🫶

user11 excuse me while i go pass out

user29 guess who’s sleeping on the highway🤪🤗

user15 are we not gonna talk about yn attending almost every race and always being there to support daniel🥹🥲😭

liked by yourinstagram, danielricciardo, and georgerussell63

~

yourinstagram added a photo to their story!

- replies were turned off by creator -

danielricciardo recently added to their story!

see replies -

yourinstagram DANIEL

danielricciardo WHAT

yourinstagram THERE ARE CHILDREN ON THIS APP

danielricciardo AND HOW DO YOU THINK THEY WERE MADE???

yourinstagram D A N I E L

~

landonorris

liked by mclaren, yourinstagram, and 1,763,481 others

landonorris she made me post this saying that i love her and i’m happy for her relationship and she’s my best friend

tagged: yourinstagram

view all comments

yourinstagram i did no such things

yourinstagram all i see is lies

mclaren we’re telling oscar

danielricciardo careful, i heard she has a really good looking, tattooed boyfriend

yourinstagram maybe i do ;)

landonorris careful, i heard the guy who posted this has never wanted to block anyone more than you two

yourinstagram feel free to leave

landonorris it’s my post??

yourinstagram my face got you likes

charles_leclerc we can’t see your face…

yourinstagram my boobs got you like’s

landonorris oml🤦‍♂️

user09 MOTHER????

yourinstagram YES MY DEAR?????

user21 yn leave ur bf, i can drive in vroom vroom circles too😩

liked by yourinstagram

yourinstagram watch out dani👀

~

yourinstagram

liked by scuderiaferrari, maxverstappen1, and 2,631,603 others

yourinstagram lover <3

tagged: danielricciardo, maxverstappen1

view all comments

danielricciardo hot

user37 she has him wrapped around her finger

danielricciardo i was talking about me, but she’s pretty too ig

yourinstagram say hi to the couch for me today

scuderiaferrari our favorite summer couple🔥😍

charles_leclerc wow.

carlossainz wow.

sebastianvettel wow.

yourinstagram oh to be a thigh tattoo…

user13 i think yn commenting on her own post about her boyfriend to praise him is the most yn thing she has done

user07 is she wrong tho-

landonorris yes.

maxverstappen1 i finally understand what lando’s always going on about

yourusername thanks for taking our pictures 😘

maxverstappen1 let each other breathe for just a second

user31 max💀

danielricciardo i’d marry you with paper rings

yourinstagram YES

yourinstagram PLEASE

user17 OMG ITS FINALLY HALLENING

yourinstagram JUST GIVE ME A DATE AND TIME

taylorswift what about me

yourusername actually… bye @danielricciardo, my wife’s calling😘

user61 stop, whAT IS HAPPENING

yourusername @user61 im marrying the love of my life @/taylorswift

user53 she’s so real

danielricciardo

danielricciardo mine <3

comments were turned off by creator -

[turcott3]

23

mason mctavish x fem! reader

warnings?: cursing, alcohol, irresponsible decision making l o l, smut (oral male receiving, unprotected sex wrap it before you tap it ladies and gents), mentions of pregnancy :) DAD MASON!!!

master list

-

you watched as mason sat awkwardly as the restaurant staff sang him happy birthday, earning a short laugh and shake of his head at the end.

“what are you embarrassed?” you tease.

“yes. now drink up that marg dani bought you.”

“yes sir.” you said already pretty buzzed from the few sips you already took of the strong drink. as the dinner continued you only got drunker, and sitting next to your best friend, dani terry, you have waited a while to hear some of the things she wanted to do when she first became a wag.

“you know, i was really tempted to like do some crazy things when i first got together with troy.” she whispers in your ear.

“i need ideas, im not new but im young so im crazy right?”

“oh of course.” she giggles, “i always wanted to get his number tattooed on my ass cheek but i always chickened out.”

“oh my god. i’m so doing that. will you come with me for moral support?”

“oh of course i will.”

“what are you guys talking about?” trevor speaks up butting in.

“nunya.” you scoff at him and he giggles knowing you were only joking.

“tomorrow? 1:30?”

“sounds good to me, send me whatever address and i’ll be there.” she laughs at you. you don’t know what you’re gonna tell mason but you know it won’t be that you’re going to a tattoo shop to get his number tattooed in permanent ink on your ass cheek. you get home about an hour later, it’s only 9:30 and you’re piss drunk.

“come on, let’s get you ready for bed.” he says and you feel all the emotions.

“i’m sorry i ruined your dinner, im so drunk. i’m sorry mason. please don’t be upset.” you blabber.

“i’m not upset at you.” he laughs, helping you remove your clothes and changing into your pajamas.

“i feel like you are though.”

“do i look mad y/n?” he looks up at you with caring eyes.

“no.” you admit and he kisses you on the head.

“see you’re fine, now let’s brush your teeth and get tucked in okay?” he asks offering his help which you accepted. he assisted you in taking out your contacts and brushing your teeth. once he stripped down to only boxers, he brings you over to the bed and tells you to take the tylenol he left on the nightstand before he could tuck you in. you did as you were told and laid down in bed, wrapped up in his arms.

the following morning you wake up feeling okay, given you had taken the tylenol before bed.

“good morning sleepy.” mason laughs lightly and kisses you on top of the head.

“good morning.” you say, rolling off of him and unplugging your phone and checking the time and for texts.

dani: still on for 1:30?

you: yep, getting up now.

you replied to her and stood up walking into the bathroom.

“hey mase?”

“yeah.”

“i’m going to lunch with dani, im leaving in thirty minutes.”

“okay.” he simply replies as you quickly shower and eat a snack. once you’re ready, you put on your watch and give him a kiss on the cheek.

“i’ll text you when im on the way back.”

“okay, have fun babe be safe.” he smiles as you exit the apartment. you and dani both arrive to your destination at the same time. you step out of the car, realization hitting you. this was too good.

“are you nervous?” she asks as she opens the door for you.

“no, i’m excited. his birthday is tomorrow so i’m excited to show him.”

“it’s gonna be gold.” she laughs as you sign in and show the artist what font you want to use.

“are you sure you want this on your ass cheek?” the artist laughs.

“yes, blame her for the idea.” you say pointing at dani as she raises her hands up on defense.

“at least it’s original and somewhat romantic.” the artist says as you lay down on your stomach, ass completely out. she places the stencil on the right side and in the perfect spot. she shows you a picture before giving her the go ahead to begin. the pain was like that of a cat scratch. a few short minutes later the artist wipes away the excess ink and places second skin on it. you stand up to look in the mirror and smile.

“that is amazing.” you laugh turning back to her.

“you don’t have to keep that second skin on after tonight since you said his birthday is tomorrow, it should be fine.” she says, removing her gloves and cleaning the area.

“perfect.” you smile. once she’s done she rings you up to pay and you both walk out of the shop.

“thank you for coming with me, this was a true bonding experience.” you say hugging dani as you walked to our cars.

“of course anytime, ill see you next game?”

“sure will.” you smile getting into your car and texting him to say that you’re on the way back.

“wow i cannot believe i have masons number tattooed on my ass.” you say to yourself as you pull out of the parking lot. once you arrive back at home, you see mason on the couch with his ps5 controller and a bowl of cereal.

“hey baby, how was lunch?” he asks you.

“oh it was great. what have you been up to?” you ask sitting next to him on the couch.

“just been playing my game. and eating cereal.” he laughs.

“sounds like we’re having efficient days today, i’m gonna go put my pajamas back on.” you say getting up and he smacks my ass lightly, which is something he loved to do. once you change back into your pajamas, you join mason on the couch, cuddling to his side as he picks a movie for the two of you to watch.

“you’re gonna be 21 in like 8 hours mase, how do you feel?”

“like i’m getting old because you’re still 20.” he giggles which earns a smack on his arm.

“oh whatever.” you say shoving him as he smiles, returning back to the movie.

“i got you something for your birthday.” you confess after about 20 minutes, barely being able to keep it a secret.

“baby you didn’t have to get me anything.” he says pausing the movie and turning to you.

“well i did. i wanted to.” you say knowing he hates when you spend money on him.

“you know i don’t want you spending money on me.”

“you’ll like it trust me.” you smirk kissing him on the cheek before grabbing his cereal bowl and taking it to the kitchen.

“the only thing i want for my birthday is you, in our bed, after midnight.” he says walking up behind you wrapping his arms around your waist and resting his chin in the crook of your neck.

“oh trust me, that’s a guarantee.” you say as he trails light kisses from your neck to your shoulder.

“good.” he smiles, squeezing your waist one last time before backing away and exiting the kitchen. as it got later, and the sun hung lower and lower, you spent the majority of your day on the couch watching his favorite movies.

“only two more hours.” you say smushing his face and kissing him on the cheek which earns a light giggle.

“can’t wait.” he smiles pulling you onto his lap where you make myself comfortable.

“it’s honestly nice spending my birthday only with you. i value our alone time more than you’ll ever know.” he says placing small kisses on your jaw.

“me too,” you say grabbing his face with your hand and placing a loving kiss on his lips. over the course of the last few months, he’s become way more comfortable with physical touch and affection as well as improving his use of words of affirmation and making sure you know you’re loved. night and day difference.

“you’ve changed so much since i met you mason.”

“is that good or bad?”

“good, you’ve become the most loving person i’ve ever known. night and day difference from the day we met.” you laugh as he hugs me closer.

“i needed you in my life clearly.” he laughs and his words make your heart flutter.

“just the same way i needed you.” you smile at him and he kisses you, standing up from his lap. the idea of sitting through the time remaining before midnight was practical torture. you snuck past a focused mason and quietly shut the bedroom door, changing into your newest black set you bought and putting your pajamas back on over it. opening the door quietly again, you walk into the living room and join him on the couch.

“fucking hell.” he yells losing the game.

“lose?” you ask.

“for the fiftieth time yes.”

“oh no i’m sorry.” you giggle a little bit as he turns off the console and beckons you over to him.

“cmere.” he says pulling you back onto his lap.

“so what’s my handsome about to be 21 year old have in mind for us tonight?” you ask brushing his curls out of his face with your fingers.

“oh we’re makin loveeeeeee baby.” he says shoving his nose in the crook of your neck, peppering kisses all over the area which sends chills down your spine.

“it’s 11:30.” you say wrapping my arms around him.

“i’m gonna stare at the clock till it hits 11:59 so i can carry you in our room and lock the door.” he says smirking against your cheek as he kisses it.

“you’re like a teddy bear mase.”

“only for you, everyone else can fuck off.” he says and you laugh together.

“yes everyone else can fuck off.” you laugh hugging him closer to you as you drifted into a comfortable silence, listening to his heart beat rhythmically against his chest soothed your nerves. you must’ve drifted off to sleep because you gained consciousness as you was lifted up off the couch and he adjusted you.

“did i fall asleep?”

“yes but it’s ok, i’m taking you to our bed.”

“no no it’s ok i’m up, i could hear your heartbeat and it put me to sleep.” you blush in embarrassment.

“you’re so adorable.” he says carrying you into your shared bedroom and setting you down on the bed. you look over at the alarm clock and see the time.

11:59.

he shuts the door and clicks the lock. you stare at the clock as it changes.

“happy birthday baby.” you say walking over and kissing him deeply.

“thank you sweet girl.” he says running his hands down your body.

“are you ready for your gift?”

“yes?” he questions as we begin to get undressed.

“okay sit down.” you say once he’s stripped down to his underwear.

“okay?” he does hesitantly. you pull off my shorts as the last piece and do a full turn.

“what am i looking for other than the fact that you’re wearing a new set?” he says and you turn around so he can examine my ass.

“y/n.” he says and you turn back around.

“mason.” you say.

“you did not get my number tattooed on your ass.” he says.

“oh i did.”

“god you’re so hot.” he says standing up and grabbing your face, smashing your lips together. his hands find their way to your ass and yours around the back of his neck.

“do you like it?” you say pulling away and grabbing his hand, brushing it over the tattoo.

“i love it.” he says smacking your ass firmly and picking you up and placing you on the bed. you remove the remainder of your clothing and get straight to business, he stands at the foot of your bed as you stroke his dick, his tip already leaking as he yearns for your touch. your tongue makes contact w his tip, circling it numerous times before taking his whole length into you mouth.

“oh fuck.” he says gathering your hair in his hand. you somehow take him all the way in your mouth and hollow out your cheeks, pulling him out with a popping noise to this time focus on his sensitive tip.

“my god baby you’re so perfect for me.” he says as you run your tongue down the length of his dick before taking it all back into your mouth. bobbing my head and working with your hands, you felt his cock twitch under your touch before spilling into your mouth. you swallow every drop and then let him go, opening your mouth to show you swallowed it all.

“that’s my good girl.” he says grabbing your face with one hand and bringing your lips up to his desparately.

“can i take you from behind?” he says pulling away earning a nod from you.

“only if you promise i can ride after.” you say holding out my pinky which he gladly accepts.

“gladly. i wanna see your gorgeous face while you take me.” he smirks kissing you again before getting into your position.

“wow i could get used to this.” he says placing his hand on your ass, running his thumb lightly over the raised skin of the fresh tattoo.

“good because it’s gonna be there forever.” i giggle before he pushes his dick into you unexpectedly.

“oh fuck.” you moan out as he instantly hits your cervix.

“you like that?”

“fuck yes i do.”

“good.” he says before retracting his hips and slamming back into you, pricking your eyes with euphoric tears. he continues this pattern leaving you screaming and moaning like crazy. sex with mason had always been good but it seems like you’ve motivated him.

“that’s my good girl right there.” he says continuing to pound his thick cock into you at a nearly unbearable pace.

“oh my fucking god mason i’m gonna come.” you say, mascara running and starting to drip on the sheets.

“let go baby, come for me.” he says as an orgasm tears through your body like a freshly sharpened knife, pulling a loud moan from your throat. he slows down his pace allowing you to come down from your high and he pulls out, continuing to jerk himself off.

“oh baby your mascara.” he says laughing before letting go and grabbing a tissue, wiping the running makeup off your face gently.

“there’s my beautiful girl.” he says tossing the tissue on the floor and kissing you lovingly. he lays down with his head propped up on two pillows. he helps me as i position myself over him and sink myself onto him earning a grunt.

“you’re so god damn gorgeous.” he says palming your tits as you lean over to attach your lips again. his kiss is like a drug and you’re addicted. you move up and down at a decent pace, placing your hands on his abs, nails slightly digging into his skin.

“oh yeah right there.” you say circling your hips around on him while locking eyes with him as he sits up and connects your lips once again as you continued.

“that feels so fucking good.” he says as you continue before bringing yourself up and down again.

“god you’re gonna make me come again. you fuck me so good mase.” you say leaning over and kissing him, feeling your abdomen tighten at the thought of of another climax.

“oh fuck fuck fuck. me too. oh fuck.” he says moments before spilling his warm seed into you as your walls clenched around him. you slowed down, not once losing touch. he stayed in you while you kissed again and cuddled to his chest, staying for a good while.

“okay baby let’s get showered.” he says pulling out of you and carrying you into the bathroom.

-

*few weeks later*

“mason.” you a ay with a trembling hand.

“what, what is it?” he says flinging the door open.

“it’s positive.” you say with confusing tears brimming your eyes.

“oh my god.” he says with an unreadable expression that soon grew into a smile which spread onto you. you were so scared of how he would react.

“y/n we’re gonna be parents?”

“yes we are mason.”

“i wouldn’t want anyone else to be the mother of my kids, i love you so much.”

“i was so scared of what you’d say. i love you mase.” you reply before he kisses you hastily.

“i’m so scared mason.” you say as he wraps his arms around you.

“me too, but we’re in this together, we’re gonna be okay baby. our baby is gonna have the best uncles to grow up with and the best mommy to raise her.”

“awe mase….. wait why’d you say her?”

“i just feel like it’s gonna be a girl.” he shrugs and giggles.

“well i hope it is too.” you smile and he takes the test from your hand, placing it on the counter and bringing you into the bedroom.

-

june 2027

you arrived at the beach close to your home and set up all of your gear. mason leans down to place little juniper on the towel so you can put sunscreen on her little pale face. her bright blue eyes pierced your heart as she smiled bright at you.

“beach.” she says looking around at all the people.

“yeah beach.” you say as you open up the sunscreen and work some into her face.

“where’s daddy?” she asks in her sweet voice.

“i’m right here juni.” he says and she whips her head around and smiles.

“hi daddy.”

“hi baby.” he says kissing her on the head before placing her little purple ducks sun hat on.

“shit, mason im gonna go rinse my cup. it has sand all over it. watch juni.” you say standing up and grabbing your cup. you turn to walk away before you hear her speak up.

“mommy what’s that on your butt?” she asks and you freeze. you turn around slowly and make eye contact with mason and all he does is laugh and shake his head.

“it’s mommy’s tattoo.” you a ay squatting down to her level.

“why is it on your butt?” she asks and you look at him again and his face is burning red from laughter and you pause not knowing what to say.

“i’ll tell you in about 15 years how about that?” you say patting her on the head before you walk off to the ocean earning a solid chuckle from mason. you return back to your spot after a few minutes of relaxing on the shore to see mason fast asleep with juniper sleeping on his chest. you could’ve cried at the sweet sight. this is your family and you wouldn’t trade them for the world.