#yes it took me nearly 21 years of life to learn that just like how self-love doesn’t have to extreme ends of buying yourself loads of new

[jpitha]

Just a Little Further 35

Part 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34

When we returned to the Reach, Janais could not stop smiling. She looked around at the activity, the life here and was at peace. She didn't seem to mind that she wasn't Empress anymore.

Janais came to see me at the Royal Dawn - er my palace, I guess - soon after we got back. She had spent a day exploring. "Empress, you have done more in half a year than I was able to do with seventy four. My loss and my guilt was so great that I could not rise above. Here, you took a place that was rudderless and are steering it towards greatness." Janais bowed low to me. "You are Empress, and I am proud to serve."

How the heck am I suppose to respond to that? "Thank you Janais, but I couldn't do it alone. My friends, my Builders help me and together, we all have our hands on the tiller."

She rose and smiled. "You are most correct Empress. It is who you surround yourself with that will dictate your success or failure. You have chosen well." She turned and walked out of my room, but as she approached the door, she turned back. "Rethink your opinion on Raaden. She is a product of her environment, and now that you have removed her from that toxic environment she could be a valuable asset to you here."

Where did that come from? "Thank you for your council Janais, I will consider it." Ugh, why do I always feel the need to sound so fancy around her. She just oozes class.

I called Um'reli in after Janais left. They passed in the hall and exchanged a few words. Um'reli had an odd look when she came into my room. "Hi Um'reli! How were things while we were gone?"

"Not as wild as they were where you went apparently. You go to see what we thought was a nearly abandoned Starbase and you come back with an Empress and one hundred and something people all stuff into High Line." Her ears flick surprise and mild irritation. As she sits at my table I pour her some chamomile tea.

"Well, Janais isn't Empress anymore. The Nanites decided that I get to keep the title. She's just a Builder now." The success of our mission called for coffee. I made a whole pot and I am determined to not down in all in one go. I'm on my second cup already though and working to slow myself down.

Um'reli looked up from her tea. "The Nanites decided?"

"That's how they described it to me yes. They said I was more "worthy" of being Empress, and Janais agreed."

Um'reli raises a finger. "So, what happens when they decide you are no longer worthy?"

I opened my mouth to answer and then closed it again. What would happen?

Empress, what we experienced had never happened before in our memories. There had never been two Empresses with a legitimate claim to rule before. When we interfaced with Janais' Nanites we... improvised.

Improvised? My face must have registered my surprise. Um'reli looked pointed at me.

"Uh, the Nanites said that this had never happened before and when they met with Janais' Nanites they... improvised."

Now Um'reli looks worried. "Melody, improvisation is not something that is done without sapience. Are you sure and I mean really sure your Nanites aren't sapient?"

No. I'm not sure. But what can I do? They're a part of me now and for all we know there is no removing them.

"No. I'm not sure. They tell me they aren't, and I don't have any other outside resources to draw upon to learn more. It sure feels like they are though. I try and treat them like an AI. I guess I do think of them as a person. I wish there was more history to this place."

Um'reli nodded as she took a sip of tea. It was the chamomile that Raaden brought. We scanned it backwards and forwards and I asked Raaden and she swears it's just tea. Um'reli really loves chamomile, and was very happy to learn it was safe to drink.

"I know what you mean Melody. I wish there was even something like a Library here. There must be. People write stuff down." She looked up in surprise. "We should ask Janais! She is a native. She might be able to tell us what a Library looks like."

I can't believe I didn't think of that. Janais was right, I really am defined by the people I keep around.

"That's a wonderful idea Um'reli, can you ask her about it next time you see her? She seemed interested in talking to you when I mentioned that you were K'laxi."

"Oh that's what it's about? She was super odd and deferential when we met just now."

"She said they were on their way to K'laxi to ask you for help when they were attacked by the Devourers and her partner Aeche sacrificed herself to save everyone."

U'reli gasped. "That's so sad! I had no idea she was carrying that." She slid her chair back and stood up. "I'm going to head back to the Throne and get some work done. I'll take Janais with me and I'll see if she can show me a Library."

She walked out and I was alone. I couldn't help but think about what Raaden and Janais and now Ava have told me; if I want to continue to be alive, I need to take over human - and probably K'laxi and Xenni - space. I don't want to be a conqueror.

Do I?

I don't want to be assassinated, that's for sure.

If I took over, what would that look like? If I were able to amass a large enough fleet, I could probably take over without firing a shot. Show up, be all impressive, order a meeting with the local leaders, Voice them and tell them they belong to me now, move on to the next system.'

It can't be that simple right? the AIs would never go for it, and I can't Voice them.

But, why can't I? If I learned more about how their minds work, would the Nanites be able to work on them? Hey, do you learn what I learn? If I learned more about how the AIs minds work, would you be able to affect them?

We do not know Empress, but we do learn what you learn. If you learn more about how their minds work, we would probably be more effective against them.

Oh good, so I just need to become an AI expert and I might stand a chance of being able to "convince" them to leave me alone.

I reach out to Omar "Hey Omar, do we have any information about AI theory and application?"

Hey Melody. Uh, no. We don't have anything like that. Why would we? What ever do you need it for?

I was just thinking that if we had something, I could learn more about how their brains work, and the Nanites and I might be better able to Voice them.

Huh. Now that's an idea. I could see how it might work. But we don't have anything about AI, not even some high level theory. We'd have to get some literature from back home. I don't know how we'd even begin to do that.

Omar, what about Venus?

What about them?

Didn't we strip the Vengeance of Lavinia of everything? Not just weapons and armor? Did they have a library?

I think they did, yes. I don't think that's been cataloged yet though. Raaden would be the person to ask in that case.

Something to think about for later I guess.

I get up and grab my rifle. I've been lax in getting some range time lately, I'm sure my groupings are all over the place. I walk to the Security offices and nod to the officer at the front desk as I walk in. They know about me and how I like to practice, I have my own keycard to let me into the range and everything. I walk by the armorer and see them with one of the rifles from Lavinia apart and they're taking notes and measurements. Good. I'm glad they took my advice and are looking at copying and hopefully improving the rifles. We'll need them when we're going to conquer.

Er, if we're going to conquer I mean.

An hour and a half later I feel much better. I used three magazine of ammunition - I was taking my time - and cleaned and oiled the rifle. While I was cleaning it I got a small crowd and gave an impromptu lesson on maintenance of human made weapons. Everyone was somewhat surprised at how much work it took to keep them running well, but I pointed out that all this work means they're much more accurate.

Refreshed, I took a walk. With all my Builders around there is still a lot of work to do, but it really seems like sometimes now I get whole blocks of time to myself to just... be around and be seen. Oh! I should show Raaden the train. I call Ava. "I'm going to show Raaden the metro, wanna come?"

"Sure! I just need to finish up this report on the garden planetoid. Meet you in front of Raaden's apartment in 10?"

I make my way over to her apartment just as Ava runs up. Nodding at the guards we go up and knock on the door. "Hey Helen, wanna go see the trains?"

I hear the sliding of a chair hurriedly and running feet. She flings the door open and looks at me surprised. "You mean it? Right now? Let's go!"

Laughing I take a step back and stop. She's wearing...

She's wearing a Builder uniform.

Well, kind of. I can see the difference, it looks a little more casual than what I made my Builders, but it's in my colors and you can see the inspiration.

"Where did you get that uniform Helen?"

"Oh this?" She spins around and shows it off. "Ava made it for me. I had asked for more clothes - all I have is my sweats and my Venus uniforms - and she made me this. I have to say, royal blue isn't my first choice for color, but I make it work." She stopped and looked at my expression. "You don't approve?"

Ava looks at me slightly nervously. "All she had was Venus stuff. I figured you didn't want her walking around in purple all the time. The only other clothes she had was that cocktail dress which - while very nice - was probably not very comfortable to wear day to day."

"No no, it's fine, I'm just surprised is all. You're welcome to wear it. I'm glad you like it here enough to do so. Thanks Helen."

They both visibly relaxed. "I'm glad you approve. I get it. I'm from Venus, we're everyone's favorite bad guy, I'm big scary Archduke Raaden. But you and Ava and everyone... you took the time to let me be... me. You didn't immediately dump me into a hibernation cabinet or keep me locked in a cell for who knows how long."

"What? We wouldn't do that Helen, you told me how you feel about hibernation, and I wouldn't just toss you into a cell to rot."

She nods "Which is why I like it here. You made the effort. Let me tell you that Venus would not be so... accommodating if our roles were reversed." She looked past me. "So come on, I want to see that train. Are there more than one line? Are all the stations the same design or are there different designs? How are they powered?"

We walked towards the station with her grilling me on everything transit related. I answered, or queried my Builders or the Reach itself for answers when I didn't have any. By the time we got to our station, she had a decent overview on how the trains worked.

"Okay Helen. Time for something special." I leaned back into the Reach and called the Royal Transport. When the trilling alarm of an incoming train started early, everyone looked up from their own worlds in confusion. When the elegant blur and gold transport slid into the station and came to a stop in front of us, there were sounds of amazement and wonder.

Raaden was slack jawed. "Melody, this is your train? It's beautiful!" Ava was grinning. "I said you would like it, didn't I? Just wait until you get inside."

We stepped inside and as the doors slid shut, the noise and bustle of the station died away. The train was incredibly soundproofed. I checked the schedule and if I left now, we would be able to switch to the express track and head to the top, bypassing all the stations. Smoothly and nearly silently we took off.

Raaden spent the entire time glued to the windows, watching the Reach glide by. Every time we rolled into a station we slowed and there were waves and cheers from the people in the station as we went by.

I figure now is as good a time as any to ask. "Hey Helen, did the Lavinia's library have info on AIs? Like theory and application?"

She looks up from the window. "Huh? I think so. Probably nothing too in depth, but like maybe a large overview. Why?"

"I've been thinking about what you and Ava said. I don't want to be assassinated. If taking over is the only way to prevent that, then... I guess we should start planning on taking over. One big question was how the AIs would react to my Voice. FarReach wasn't affected and that makes me think as I am now no AI will be. The Nanites and I agree that if I learn more about how their brains work, they might be able to change how they operate on AIs to be more... effective."

"You think that'll work? The Nanites are that flexible? That's impressive! If you grabbed the whole thing, I think there's enough in the Lavinia's library to get you started yes. Enough to learn if it's even possible or not."

I shrugged. "I won't know until I try. I really don't feel like being a conqueror, but I also like keeping my insides inside me and my head attached to my shoulders. If this is the only way then... so be it."

Ava leaned in laid her head on my shoulder. "I'm glad to hear it Melody. I know you'll be a just and fair ruler, and I think you're on the right track."

Raaden nodded and smiled. "I agree. All hail Empress Melody!" She laughed lightly and turned back to the window. "Look at that! Melody, where does that stub track go? Oh there must be a railyard! We should go see it. I want to see if there are any older models of metro cars or spare parts. Who fixes them? We should ask for a tour..."

The three of us spent the rest of the day touring the Metro. I have to admit that Raaden's interest got us both interested as well. We probably would never have learned as much about the Metro as we did without her. We went from the bottom to the top of the Reach and I did get us a tour of the rail yard. It was actually really interesting to dig into the minutiae of a service here on the reach. More than that though, it was so cute to see Raaden absolutely gush about something. I don't think I've ever seen her that happy. We brought her back to the apartment when we were finished and she stood in the doorway. "Melody, Ava... thank you. That is easily the most fun I've had in at least 5 years."

I smile. "You're welcome Helen, I'm glad we could show you a good time."

She looks away for a moment. "It's more than that... you and Ava and everyone here has gone above and beyond to make me feel welcome and included and a part of things, even though I'm just a prisoner."

"Raaden, you're not just a prisoner. You're your own person with her own wants and needs and desires. Just because you're stuck here doesn't mean you have to be miserable."

If I didn't know better, I'd say Raaden was getting a little misty. "Ava, that's just what I'm talking about." She sighs heavily. "Melody. I want you to conquer Venus."

What. Where did this come from? "What?"

She nods. As she does a tear falls from her eye. "You. You are what Venus needs. Dad would have loved you. Loved the way you rule. You could help so many people there. And... I want to help."

"You want to help?"

She nods. "Yes Ava. I don't know if that means I'm asking to become a Builder, or just be able to help out like Ginny or what. But, I've been here long enough to see what you're doing, and-" she sighs "-I want in. Use your Voice to insure my compliance, I don't mind. I'll do what it takes."

"We'll think about it Helen. Thanks for feeling comfortable enough with us to ask."

That night after dinner, Ava and I were in the bath. We were clean and just soaking in the hot water in the dark, the lights of the Reach shining in through the windows our only illumination.

"Melody?"

"Mmm?"

"Should you make Raaden a builder?"

I sat up and looked at her. She wasn't joking. I laid back down. "Do you think I should?"

"I'm wondering. You heard her today. Janais has also mentioned in a few times. She thinks she's a natural Builder."

"We haven't even given Ginny Builder status yet."

Ava raised a hand out of the water and waggled it. "So give it to both of them. It's not like we don't need the help. Poor Um'reli spends most of her days connected to the Throne working. Omar is chained to his chair too working on the ships. Starlight spends all their time fielding questions and complaints from residents. We need more help."

"You're right, we do need the help. Janais alone won't be enough." I looked her in the eyes. They were an emerald green and so pretty. "Do you really think we can trust both of them?"

She met my gaze. "Yes. I do Melody. I think both of them are with us now. And if you're worried, you could just order it."

"Yes I could, but I want them to do it because they want to, not because I ordered them."

"So ask them tomorrow." Ava yawned and sat up. "Come on, the bath is cooling off. Let's dry off and go to bed."

I sat up as well. "Okay. Tomorrow then."

"Tomorrow."

Part 36

[joels-watch-is-broken]

Fuck I am so tired of never once having my house all to my self. "Oh but it isn't your house, it's a family house". Yes the thing is that my house feels like a hostile environment when my family is around.

And now my friend look at me weird when I say my priority will be getting a job. Because they know how much I love what I'm studying and they know how long my career is so why delay it. And I try to make it look like the main reason is that I also found this other thing I like that I want to explore as a career option. And that is true, but not entirely. That is not the main reason, just another tiny one.

The main reason is that I had a better time at college last semester while staying most days at my toxic ex's house than this year's that I had to stay at my house.

I was so excited for today because my sister's were going back to school and my parents to their job. I put on the alarm ready to wake up early and do all the things I have to do. And then I heard my father downstairs and all my fucking will fell down.

Because that's all it takes. I hear one of them is around and my whole body tenses, I get on alarm mode. What is it gonna be this time? And I know it's gonna be something so I stay in my room and don't go out. Because so far the best method of avoiding harm has been avoiding them.

Slowly I've been making my life as small as possible, as insignificant as I can't so it doesn't get their attention. And it has sucked. Because last year I was dating a person that belittled me, that made me feel guilty, inferior and ashamed. But If I was hungry while at his house I could grab something to eat, if I was thirsty I could drink something. Because I could lay down on the couch and his parents would randomly throw insulting comments at me. I didn't have to tiptoe around the house.

And today I wanted to tidy my room. To go down and make my breakfast and enjoy the sun, and put some music and take a bath. But now that one of them is here I can't.

I know whatever I make myself for breakfast they are not gonna like, they are gonna question. I'm gonna go take a shower not a bath, and they are gonna complain about how the bathroom gets humid and I took too long even if when I check the time I only took ten minutes. And when I start tidying up my room he is gonna make jokes. And then when I get down to eat, or when I walk near them they will start telling them how I am not doing it right.

Maybe because I could eat at the table when I was at my ex's at least but here I eat in my room on my desk.

Looking for a job became a priority because I can't function in this house. I feel so guilty and ashamed I wasted two years because of the quarantine, the truth is I was going crazy locked in my house, with them. And lately my parents are here nearly every fucking day and it's driving me crazy. And I know this is gonna get worse. They are getting older, harder to deal with and in three years my father could get sent home to retire. And I just can't imagine how I could ever live with that. It would be such a fucking nightmare. So I'm trying to at least be economically independent when that day comes. If I'm lucky maybe even live by myself.

I can't tell people all this when they ask why. I can't explain how I get on guard whenever they are around. Because maybe since they learned that I go away if they dare do it, they have stopped. But the threat is always there. Because I know they are capable of it. I don't know if they know I know and how much power it has over me. It scares me to think they do.

That I'm scared. That it takes one thing, one bad day and it can all start over again. Because all my life I've been trying to learn how to avoid getting hit and never once have I learned how to defend myself.

And that's it isn't it. I'm a 21 years old woman, but I have learned that the inaction of a 4 years old child is my best defence. And that's what my life here has taught me. To be silent, have my head down. I've become pliant and submissive because it has been the best way to survive. And how do I explain that yes I'm not a kid anymore but whenever They are around my body just goes automatically into that role on its own. That if they are around before I know it I'm back to tiptoing again.

It makes me feel weak and worthless. I make such an effort to build a life when I go out. It's all for nothing when I go back inside. It all becomes meaningless inside this house, by these 4 walls. All my boundaries have been violated here, and everything is harder.

I just wish they could go back to work and leave me the fuck alone for a few hours. That's all I ask.

[banglatown]

.

[phoenixyfriend]

Anakin and the Jedi Babies: Where There’s a Whill, There’s a Windu

Context: original post, chrono

(Summary of the AU: Disaster lineage got tossed back in time. Anakin stayed 21-ish, but Obi-Wan and Ahsoka got deaged, took new names for time-travel reasons (Ylliben and Sokanth, or Ben and Soka) and have been officially adopted by Anakin.)

----------------------

“You’re attached.”

“You’re just now noticing?”

Master Windu eyes him for a few long moments, and then joins him on the ground. Anakin can’t help but smirk. There’s something gratifying about having respect from the man, in this life.

“The other members of the council are concerned.”

“And you aren’t?”

“I am, but for other reasons,” Windu says.

Anakin doesn’t meet his eyes, doesn’t even respond for a long minute. He just looks out over the Room of a Thousand Fountains, spread out below them like hundreds of jungles pieced together in a jigsaw of flora. It’s been his favorite room in the Temple since he was a child, and it’s always overwhelming.

“Most of them have accepted that you adopted them because of Mandalorian customs, and that you stayed where you were due to the will of the Force,” Windu continues. “But they are… uncomfortable with how blatantly your attachments show.”

“Mandalorians are loud and refuse shame. It rubbed off.”

“You said you would kill for these children.”

“I’m their father. That’s kind of expected.”

Windu’s expression is tired. A little tired of stress, but mostly tired of Anakin’s shit. “You know what I’m trying to get at.”

“Do I?”

“Skywalker.”

“No, I’m serious. I need you to spell this out. I’ve had a million slightly-contradicting lectures on this topic, and I’ve been told pretty clearly that I misinterpreted a solid half of them. If you want a constructive conversation, you can’t be vague. I’m thirty-three years old and a father of two, Master Windu, so yes, I’m attached. What you mean by that word is going to change where this conversation goes.”

It’s gratifying to see the Master actually think it over.

“Ylliben’s tattoos have been causing the most recent stir,” Windu finally says. “They nearly all relate to family, whether new or old, and the symbolism is concerning to those who are already upset about the Mandalorian upbringing. They worry that he’ll remain too tied to people he grew up with, and unable to maintain neutrality in future diplomatic ventures, or at risk of a fall if one of the people he’s seen fit to memorialize is injured or killed. The assume a similar state of mind may be applicable to your daughter and yourself, especially given the off-color jokes about how possessive your children are about each other.”

“They’re worried about emotional immaturity,” Anakin summarizes. He offers a wan, unimpressed grin. “They do realize he’s fourteen, right? Nobody’s emotionally stable at fourteen. The hormones are out of whack.”

“I’m aware,” Windu grinds out. “And I’m aware that your histories, of war and all such things, make your ties much stronger, but you can see why the Council worries, especially those who are wary of the memories your children carry but won’t explain. I’m the only one you’ve told, Skywalker.”

“Plo and Depa know.”

“Plo and Depa aren’t on the council.”

“Yet.”

“Skywalker.”

He relents. “It’s not about Mandalore, Master Windu. It’s about Tatooine.”

Windu lets that sit for a few moments, and then sighs. “I don’t know enough about Tatooine to parse that.”

“Shmi and I are former slaves,” Anakin says, as bluntly as he can. “I was freed at nine, she at eleven, and for all that we are free, we’re not freeborn. We were born slaves, and raised slaves, and we were freed too late to forget that life. The way we think is always going to be affected by the way we grew up. That applies to all sentients, more or less, but it’s… the slave mentality is completely at odds with Jedi teachings, because Jedi teachings can only be taught in a safe environment.”

Windu nods slowly, and says, “That does make sense, but it’s… forgive me, but that’s why we don’t normally take children older than four.”

“From the perspective of teaching cultural values, that makes sense,” Anakin allows. “Teaching a Jedi child that’s cared for with communal resources that they do not need material things to be happy is fine; trying to convince a slave child of the same, someone who grew up being told they do not deserve material things, and that their owner can take anything at any time, including family? I lived that life, trying to adjust to ascetic Jedi values that coincided poorly with slave rules. I know exactly how poorly that transition can go when the person caring for the child doesn’t know how to handle the points of conflict.”

“Do you regret joining the Jedi?” Windu asks.

Anakin shakes his head. “My Jedi master, bless him, cared, and tried very hard, but he wasn’t ready to handle a kid like me and in hindsight, I know that. He needed grief counseling, and I needed therapy, and neither of us was getting it. I don’t… I don’t believe anyone in the Temple would have known how to handle a kid like me.”

“But you don’t regret it.”

“I was meant to be a Jedi,” Anakin says, as firmly as he can without getting unnecessarily bitchy about it. “My struggles with the Code aside, I was meant to be here. But the Temple doesn’t have any resources for children who come older, and I think… I think you do need that.”

“You just outlined why a child can’t follow the Code if they come from a different enough background,” Windu says.

Anakin shakes his head. “No, that’s not—I think a kid like me can learn to be a Jedi, if a little unconventional, if they’re taught correctly. The desperation to cling to anyone and anything you have can be unlearned. It takes time and effort, but it’s possible. Soka and Ben are good at balancing Tatooine care with Jedi control. If you talk to Ben, you get an entire philosophical breakdown about it, but I’m more concerned with the child psychology, because that’s what could have broken me.”

Windu frowns. “You’re building up to something.”

“I think the Jedi need programs for children found older who can’t become full Jedi,” Anakin asserts. “Even those who cannot reconcile what they absorbed growing up with the Code and Jedi tradition… they, we, need guidance. The Council tried to reject me for being too old, and now that I’m grown I understand why, but… Master Windu, what do you think would have happened to me if I hadn’t had my Master to fight for me, and had been turned away?”

“We’d have looked into placing you back with your mother and, upon finding out that she was still enslaved, secured her freedom,” Master Windu says. “Qui-Gon Jinn had taken responsibility for you, and thus you were a ward of the Temple until such a time as you were safe again. It would have been cruel to keep you from your mother if we were not to raise you a Jedi, and crueler still to allow you to return to slavery.”

“And you think I’d have been safe with her?” Anakin asks. He needs Master Windu to understand this. “You think that would have ended well?”

“You don’t?”

“Ventress,” Anakin says. “Maul. Aurra Sing, even.”

Windu considers that. He looks across the grand, green room of the garden, and finally speaks. “You think you’d have been found and corrupted by a Sith.”

“I’d already helped Naboo win a battle. I was a powerful child with no support system in this respect, eager to please,” Anakin says. “Ventress and Maul both got twisted into Sith Apprentices. Aurra Sing was just a bounty hunter, but… even if the Jedi had never found me, and the Sith remained unaware, do you think I’d have ended up better than Sing? Or would the pressures of slavery have led to my Fall anyway, eventually slaughtering my owner, the Hutts, the entire system of Tatooine’s hells?”

Windu rubs a hand over his forehead. “I understand what you’re getting at.”

“It’s not just me,” Anakin says, as carefully as he can. “Even without the Sith, there are plenty of Force-Sensitive children in terrible situations that are liable to Fall just because of how power is wielded by those at the bottom. Refusing to take on students who are already at risk… the Jedi are meant to monitor Force users to prevent Sith and other dark-aligned people from harming the galaxy. It’s one of our primary duties. If the Jedi are allowing darksiders to rise just because of an age limit…”

“I get it,” Windu says, just a little aggressive. “I understand. Give me a minute.”

Anakin tries to wait. He’s older now, he can do that. He can be patient.

He tries to convince himself that it’s true.

“You have a point,” Master Windu finally allows. “And with the knowledge that the Sith are out there, still, it’s a more salient point than most would think. The EduCorps already has a subdivision for teaching meditative techniques to low-level force users who need to learn shielding but aren’t sensitive enough to be Jedi, or are just too old, but I see your point about encouraging a program for powerful Force-Sensitives that aren’t discovered early enough to integrate into the community in full.”

“And a more comprehensive Search pattern for the Outer Rim?” Anakin suggests. He shrugs at the look he gets. “What? You’ve seen my midicount. I was on Tatooine for almost a decade, and the only reason anyone found me was that Qui-Gon had to crash a ship in the middle of nowhere. I’m sure the Force led him to me, given all the coincidences, but that’s still a solid nine years that nobody did, despite how I apparently ‘shine like the sun’ or whatever.”

“Humble.”

“The last time I took a midichlorian test on a portable counter, it literally broke the device. That’s not arrogance, that’s just absurd.”

Windu looks exhausted by the comment. Anakin can’t bring himself to feel too bad about it.

“What about Jedha?” Anakin suggests instead. “Jedi find the kids, but if they’re too old to be Jedi, we could coordinate with one of the temples at Jedha to see about having them raised in the traditions of the Whills? They’re a little less orthodox, aren’t they?”

“In some respects,” Master Windu says. “More constrained in others, but… it’s a possibility. Most of the overlooked children, yourself included, are from parts of the Outer Rim that aren’t part of the Republic, Skywalker.”

Anakin shrugs. “And many of them would have been happy to be found and collected by a Jedi, even if they couldn’t become Jedi. Not the Dathomiri, since they’ve got their own thing going on, but… from what I know about Ventress, she actually did have a Jedi Master before the situation on Rattatak became… what’s the word… untenable? He died and she was left alone, and she’d been a slave already and it just… did not end well for her. But that was a planet overrun by pirates and warlords, and would have been approved as a planet the Jedi could help without it being a weird colonialism thing… if the Senate weren’t made up of cheapskates, at least.”

“Skywalker.”

“My name isn’t actually a reprimand, you know.”

“You’re not supposed to just say that,” Windu groans, running a hand over his face. “The Senate’s choice in funding is not optimal, but insulting them in that way, even in private—”

“They’re assholes,” Anakin says, and doesn’t let his humor show. “Except my late wife, but she’s not part of the Senate in this time, so I feel no shame in accusing the entire shitshow of being cheapskates.”

Windu looks about ready to push him off the ledge.

“You’re never allowed to go on diplomatic missions, are you?” Windu mutters.

“Unless it’s to Mandalore,” Anakin clarifies. “Also, never send me to Tatooine. Ever. Please. I kriffing hate that planet.”

“I’m going to assume you have plans to kill a Hutt if we ever send you to—”

“Yes.”

“Okay,” Windu sighs. “I’ll discuss this with the Council, see how they feel about reaching out to Jedha for your suggestion regarding the Whills.”

“And you’ll tell them not to worry about my kids?”

“Skywalker, they are never going to stop worrying about your family,” Windu tells him.

“That’s fair.”

[krabjoons]

omg professor... what are you doing?!?!?! [pjm]

⮕ summary: park jimin is the hottest, most popular guy at school. the only catch? he also just so happens to be your teacher.

⮕ pairing: park jimin x reader, mentions of jaebum x reader

⮕ genre: smut, university!au, pwp

⮕ word count: 12.8k

⮕ rating: 18+, nsfw

⮕ warnings: hard dom!jimin x bratty-ish sub!y/n, professor!jimin x university student! y/n (he’s 27-28 ish and she’s 21-22), fuckboy!jaebum, pussy eating, fingering, thigh riding, vaginal sex, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it), dirty talk (carries the whole fic tbh), degradation, edging, dumbification, impact play (pussy + ass spanking), manhandling, humiliation, exhibitionism, creampie, teasing, praise, orgasm denial, begging, overstimulation, crying, kissing/making out, jimin’s a meanie but y/n likes it (aka i go ham on the degradation and edging you have been warned), aftercare (like 500 words of it :P)

⮕ a/n: this took too long to come out and has literally been sitting in my drafts since august but here it is! writing this was definitely a rollercoaster because this was my first smut and honestly i felt like it was really bad at times but other times i was like wtf this is so hot,, ANYWAYS, i’m glad that i’m posting it and getting over that fear of imperfection. i hope that you guys enjoy this piece :). i would also like to add that please don’t hook up with your teachers… if you do, that’s on you i take no responsibility for that whatsoever lol. excuse the title i literally have no idea what to change it to but i like it the way it is tbh LMFAOOO OK I’LL STOP RAMBLING NOW BYEEE ILY ALL

University has never been when you’ve expected. When you first graduated high school and came here, you expected your late teenage years to be filled with just as much studying as high school combined with only a few parties here and there. You didn’t expect to make as many friends as you did and certainly did not expect to be known as the girl with the high grades and even higher alcohol tolerance. No longer are you the shy Y/N L/N that walked through the entrance gates on the first day of school; you’ve changed a lot.

It was a surprise to you. With academics taking precedence much of your life, the freedom university provided you with was welcomed - perhaps a little too much. You quickly learned that polar bear shots were great to keep you in a good mood at parties and that eating mangoes before smoking gave you a better high. And, you also learned about sex.

Admittedly, the first time you had a hookup, it was awkward and messy (at least for you… it was a guy, what else were you expecting?) but with more practice, you were able to get the hang of it. You’ve found your tastes and now willingly talk about who catches your eye to your best friends, something you never thought you’d do last year. 

Speaking of who catches your eye, as of now it’s Park Jimin. A really hot guy, according to your friends, and according to you, an even better voice. When you first walked into your Applications of Economics class, you nearly spit out your Starbucks drink after you saw the astonishingly handsome man with silky black hair in a dress shirt and tie. Surprisingly formal for a university student, you thought, but you weren’t one to talk, considering your current outfit of business casual.

Only, he wasn’t a student. He was your teacher. You should’ve put the pieces together earlier but you didn’t. Let's just say a Coconut Lime Refresher is good for hangovers, and you needed one desperately (basically, you were drunk as hell the night before and were still in the process of recovering). It certainly didn’t take long before all of campus was talking about the new economics professor who was hotter than hell. Girls (and some guys) immediately tried transferring into his class, one of them being your best friend Lisa, just to get a glimpse of how attractive he was. You remember a couple of girls offering you literal cash to transfer out, but you didn’t.

A good call, thinking about it now. You’ve gotten closer with Mr. Park, although it’s nothing too special yet, the two of you are on good terms and have even hugged before (you still get giddy thinking about it). Y/N from 2 years ago would be screaming her head off at how bold you’ve gotten, but now, you can’t bring yourself to care. Park Jimin is a hot guy, and you’re pretty hot too (if you must admit), so it would only be logical if the two of you could hook up. Unsurprisingly, you’ve lost your shame, nothing but thoughts of your teacher filling your mind in your spare time. 

So here you are, another day of university, as monotonous as ever. The only highlight of your day will be the morning, where you have a class with Mr. Park. You've started changing your style a bit recently, opting for more, let’s just leave it at provocative outfits. Walking into the room, you take your usual seat in the front, closest to Mr. Park’s desk. 

The class progresses like it normally does, starting with a review of the work from the last class and a discussion about the new material. "I’m going to give you guys this last half hour of class to review the material individually if you want or you can leave early, I don’t mind. I know it's a Friday so there’s gonna be some parties around campus, if you want to prepare yourselves for that then go ahead." Your professor glances around the room, smirking at you when mentioning the parties. You flush and look away, biting your lower lip. 

You make the decision to stay in the classroom while the majority of the other students file out of the room. "I'll be available for any questions," Jimin calls out, returning to his desk across from you.

Sticking to your reputation, you get a head start on the assignment and easily work through the homework. Surprisingly, you forget about Jimin for the time being, focused on finishing your assignment so that you have as little work as possible to do after classes. You don’t notice your teacher looking at you, admiring the way you put so much effort into the things you’re passionate about. Hearing a student call his name, he gets up to help him. 

Surprisingly, Mr. Park has assigned a disturbingly low amount of homework, probably because of the upcoming weekend and maybe a pop quiz later next week (ugh). You’ve finished your work in a mere twenty minutes and are surprised to find that Jimin is not at his desk when you look up from your laptop. You turn around, looking for him, and see that he’s helping another student. Whipping out your phone, you text your best friend Lisa (who just so conveniently, also thirsts over Jimin the same way you do).

to lisa: hey i finished classwork for mr park and have like 10 minutes of free time now lol

Instantly, she responds as if she wasn’t in class. Then again, she has never been one to pay too much attention to her professors. 

from lisa: ayo talk to him 

from lisa: also save me from bio i literally cannot

Smiling slightly, you respond to her.

to lisa: i WOULD but he’s helping other students

from lisa: then be like "m- mister park, i- need help please" and use puppy eyes 

to lisa: LMFAOO PLEASE he’d be like whats wrong with you since when did you struggle in this class

to lisa: but i mean, anything to hear him talk i guess 

from lisa: god i'm so jealous you have him early so you can hear his morning voice it must be hot asf

to lisa: it is omg

from lisa: god what if he moans like that it'd be such a turn on

to lisa: dUDE STOP NO the way this is literally true like if he has a good sip of coffee or a pastry he likes hes gonna go all "mmmm I wish you could try this" pls its so fking hot

to lisa: like SIR I WANNA TRY YOU or you to try me no complaints

from lisa: wtf he finishes his breakfast before my class so i can't even hear it tf I hate it here

to lisa: u have him right after my block bro at leAST you have him 

to lisa: what ab the people who don't even have him

from lisa: idk what i'd do honestly. imagine not having a literal sex god teaching you every day i pity those who dont

You’re about to type out a response when a smooth voice sounds out from behind you, "alright guys, you’re good to go. Have a good weekend!" You jump in your seat, not realizing that your teacher was helping the student right behind you for the past five minutes. 

As the rest of the class begins to pack up, you pray that he hasn’t seen you talking about your sexual fantasies less than five feet away from him. Mr. Park doesn’t say anything, so you must be in the clear, right? You’re hoping and praying that he didn’t find out, but your heart rate is already rising and you’re getting a sick feeling in your stomach. Your gut must be trying to tell you something.

Well, your gut’s telling you that the universe must not be on your side because as soon as you stand up, he says, "Ms. L/N, can you stay a bit after class? I have a few things I want to discuss with you." Cheeks flushing hot, you squeak out a "yes, sir."

When everyone has left and it’s just the two of you left in the room, Jimin pulls up a seat next to his desk. "Sit," he commands, leaning on his desk. You scramble to your feet and walk over, mind buzzing with thoughts. Oh god, what if he tells the administration department? Then you’d definitely be punished and maybe even kicked out of the school. Maybe you could make up a story? Oh, it’s ANOTHER Park Jimin, haha. Definitely NOT my teacher. Even if you did, they could go the rest of the texts between you and Lisa and you’d be screwed. And not to be petty or anything, but being kicked out would mean that you wouldn’t be able to be in Jimin’s class anymore and wouldn’t be able to see him. Oh, and the bigger problem would be that you’d also be unable to get your degree.

You start internally panicking, heart rate picking up even when your teacher rolls up his sleeves and leans down in front of you. Stop thinking about dirty things FOR ONCE, Y/N, half of you screams, while the other half of you has already started fantasizing about things which shouldn’t be thought about, especially with one of the people in the fantasies less than a couple of feet in front of you. With his hands on his thighs, the ones you’ve thought about riding far too often, he smirks.

"So, I heard you wanna try me?"

You gulp, absolutely mortified that Jimin caught you. Yes, he was attractive, and you would do practically anything to fuck him, but you didn’t expect to be humiliated into admitting it. "Um, no sir! I mean, maybe, but not in the way you think!" you ramble. Shut up, Y/N, part of you screams. You’re only digging yourself into a deeper hole.

"Yeah, sure. Because I definitely didn’t see what you were talking about with your friend. Be honest, Y/N," he says, smirking down at you. "You think about me, don't you? I'm not new to this. I see the way girls like you look at me. I know the way they talk about me when they think I can't hear. I know the way you think. Who would've thought? Little Miss L/N, all prim and proper on the outside, would be so filthy deep down?"

"Sir, I- uh. I-" you stutter out, cheeks burning furiously hot.

"You what? You're not going to try to prove your innocence now, are you? Not when you've gotten this far, hm? Getting to do what you’ve wanted after all this time?" he asks, standing up from his desk, and walking over to you, kneeling in front of you so that you were forced to hold eye contact. 

"You know, nobody else has been as daring as you, my dear," he hums softly. "Sending promiscuous texts about their teacher in the very class they're in. Rubbing their thighs together every time their teacher catches their eye." You shift in your seat, Jimin's words sparking the slightest of fires in your core. "Gazing ever so obviously at said teacher’s dick, too. Y/N, you amaze me. So, so brilliant. yet so, so naughty. You thought that nobody else would catch onto you? Unfortunately, you thought wrong."

"I'm s- sorry sir," you whisper out.

"You're just sorry that you got caught, Y/N. You'll keep doing this even after today," Jimin chuckles lowly. "Possibly even more after today," he adds on, taking note of how his words have affected you. Your pupils are dilated and your cheeks are starting to get flushed. "Such a dirty girl. I'm here trying to scold you, and here you are, getting turned on by my words. Is this why you ask so many questions, doll? To hear my voice?"

You bite your lip in a mixture of embarrassment and nervousness, nodding imperceptibly. The logical, studious side of you is thinking, oh my god, is this really happening? Am I going to fuck my teacher? I really shouldn’t be doing this. The relaxed, easygoing side of you (pretty much your horny side) is thinking, finally, it’s happening. I’m going to FINALLY be fucking Park Jimin.

"What else have you imagined about my voice, hm? How I'd whisper into your ear while pounding into you? Hear me moan as your tight cunt clenches around my dick? Tell you how good you're making me feel? Reminding you how much of a slut you are to fuck your teacher in the middle of his classroom, where anyone could walk in?" he continues, seeing you shift in your seat more. "Would you like that?" he asks.

"Y- yes Mr. Park. I- I would," you whisper. You have to consciously clench your thighs together to keep them from spreading at his words.

"Hm, I don't believe you. Try again another time, darling," he sighs, leaning back on his knees, getting ready to stand up. You don't want this, whatever it is, to be over that quickly so you make up your mind. Swallowing your pride and succumbing to the dull throb in your panties, you pout.

"But professor, I really do want you. I want you to make me feel good and I wanna make you feel good. Please," you whine out. "I wanna be thinking about you all the time because you fucked me so well in class. And when my friends talk about wanting to get in your pants, I want to be the only one who already has. Please, Mr. Park. I need you." you breathe out. At this point, the pressure in your core is rising steadily, and only intensifies when you see the way your teacher's eyes are glazed over in lust and eyebrows are furrowed. Your eyes travel down the expanse of his face to his lips, plump and pink. Oh, the number of times you've wished to kiss them, imagined them suckling on your clit. And now that Jimin knows, perhaps it's finally coming true. 

"You'd like that, hm? God, you're so dirty," Jimin mutters, inching closer to you, cautiously placing a hand on your knee. Your legs instantly part to make room for him in between and he inches forward. "Does dirty talk really turn you on that much, Y/N? I can smell you through your panties," he remarks.

"Mr. Park, please do something," you whimper. And with that, Jimin pulls you over to his desk and sits you on the edge. You spread your legs and he stands in between them. He leans his head closer to you until he's next to your ear.

"Want me to get you off with my words? You seem to like that already and I haven't even tried, doll. Or perhaps," he pauses, bunching up your skirt so that it pools at your waist. "You want me to touch you?"

You nod eagerly, chest heaving in anticipation. "I want both Mr. Park. I want you," you purr salaciously. And with that, your teacher lets out a low growl and presses his lips onto yours harshly. It’s already bruising, but you just can’t get enough of the way he tastes of caramel and coffee and how ridiculously soft his lips are, so you wrap your arms around his neck and pull him in even closer. He seems a little put off by how eager you are, but once he hears you sigh in enjoyment, he melts into your eager grasp. 

His hands start sliding down your waist so that they are resting on your upper thighs, and he rubs comforting circles into them, trailing them closer and closer to your panties. He breaks off from the kiss to look down and smirks back at you before joining his lips to yours with even more fervor and you praise yourself for deciding to wear your lace thong today. You feel his tongue slide against your lips, asking for permission to enter and your mouth immediately complies. 

The feeling of his hot breath on your lips and thumbs rubbing against the juncture of your thighs has you feeling needy for more. Jimin swirls the tip of his tongue against yours, the filthy action turning you on even more. You moan into his mouth and thread your fingers through his hair, causing him to let out a low groan.

Finally, after what seems like an eternity, the two of you break apart. Chest heaving up and down, you take note of your teacher's face. His lips are redder and plumper than ever before. His cheeks have the faintest blush on them. His eyes, the ones that crinkle into a happy smile whenever you answer a question correctly in class, are now clouded over with deep lust.

"Get onto all fours. On the desk," Jimin commands, and you immediately comply. Now your ass is facing Jimin and you're very nearly completely exposed to him, save the thong you're wearing.

"God, you're such a slut," Jimin moans out at the sight. "Do you get dressed up like this just so you can get fucked in class? Such a short fucking skirt that I can see whatever you're wearing underneath whenever you bend over, hm? You wanted me to give in to you, doll?" When you nod weakly, he chuckles, "I don't think so."

Arching your back so your ass sticks out even more, you whine, "professor, please fuck me. I'm so fucking horny, please." Jimin cups your pussy from outside your panties and leans over you, "I don't think so, kitten. I'm the one calling the shots here." Your pussy flutters in response and Jimin slaps it lightly, chuckling. The brief stimulation has your cunt clenching around nothing.

He spreads your knees slightly and begins trailing hot, open-mouthed kisses up your thighs to the arch of your back. Feeling his breath so close to your core has you getting wetter by the minute in anticipation. He finally hovers over your back, placing a soft kiss on your shoulder, muttering, "I'm going to wreck you, Y/N", and you feel yourself clench in excitement. 

"Then do it," you whisper, and Jimin hooks his fingers around the waistband of your thong and pulls it down, so slow that it's almost painful, exposing your heat to the cool air of the classroom and causing you to shiver in response. 

You don't see it, but his eyes widen seeing the strings of your slick connecting your pussy to your panties. He takes a look at your core and his mouth starts watering. You're soaking and clenching around nothing, thighs shaking ever so slightly in anticipation.

He flattens his tongue and licks a flat stripe up your pussy, from your clit to your entrance. He pauses to suck some of your juices from it, but your cunt just keeps leaking them out. He runs his tongues through your folds over and over again until you let out a wanton moan.

Encouraged by your reaction, he hooks his arms around the side of your hips, nuzzling closer into your pussy. He laps at your cunt and purposely avoids your clit, only heightening the pressure in your core.

"Mr. Park," you whine out, pushing your hips back. "Please. More," you pant out. Suddenly, Jimin spanks your right ass cheek, rubbing his hand over the fleshy globe soothingly afterward. You let out a little yelp and turn around to catch his eyes. 

"More what?" he spits out, smiling at you evilly. "My little slut's gotta tell me what she wants. How else would I give it to her?" your mind is foggy, pleasure causing you to lose track of everything other than the man behind you. "W- want you," you garble out, "t- to play with my clit too." 

"What's the magic word, doll?" Jimin teases, breath fanning over your slit, causing your walls to clench erratically. "Please, Mr. Park," you whine, pushing your cunt closer to his face. He smirks at you, avoiding your advances. 

"Good girl," he praises before finally positioning himself just barely in front of your clit. You feel him blow cool air onto your slit, but the temperature of it is magnified even more due to how wet you are. You whine out, expressing your displeasure, and Jimin finally indulges you by taking your throbbing button between his plush lips.

"F- fuck, sir, yes! Right there, please," you squeal, back arching even more. Jimin hums, the vibrations sending waves of pleasure through your body. You can feel yourself growing wetter, your entrance squeezing out more and more of your arousal down to where Jimin's lips are sucking. He momentarily pauses to flatten his tongue out, letting your juices drip onto them and slurping them up eagerly. The obscene noises behind you combined with the low thrum of student life just outside the classroom door mesh together to have you realize where exactly the two of you are doing this.

You glance at the clock, and your eyes widen. "Prof- oh my god, Pr- Professor Park," you moan out, trying to keep your focus. Jimin again hums, making you jolt in pleasure. "I- uh, there’s only ten minutes until the next block of classes start. I need t- to leave in around five." When Jimin releases from you with a pop, you can feel your slick running down your thighs and some dripping onto his desk. You feel a rush of excitement at the thought of everyone walking in during class to see the mess Jimin made of you on his desk and again squeeze around nothing.

"Well then," Jimin hums lazily, "guess you better cum within five minutes if you want to cum at all." He dives back into your heat, tongue skillfully running through your folds. He cycles between kitten licking and delivering harsh sucks to your clit and dipping his tongue into your entrance. You grind against his face in desperation to reach your release, and just when you finally feel it hurtling towards you at an alarming rate, suddenly, Jimin gets up.

He leans over you, trailing a hand up your slick-ridden thigh to cup your bare heat and mutters lowly in your ear, "time’s up." Your heart drops in frustration, and you whine out. Grinding into his palm, you beg for him to touch you once again, knowing nothing but how good he was making you feel just seconds ago. "Mr. P- Park, please. Make me cum," you cry out.

Jimin spanks your pussy, a wet echo sounding through the room. You jolt forward and your cunt leaks out even more of your arousal in response to the combination of pain and pleasure. "I said no," he hisses, "you couldn't cum in time, you don't deserve to cum." 

"God, look at you, you're a mess. Bent over and spread out so desperately for me. You taste so sweet, doll. So responsive, too," Jimin murmurs, lazily rubbing your slit. He's, once again, avoiding your clit and driving you insane. Your sensitive nub is now swollen and throbbing with need, slick with your arousal. 

"Has anyone touched you as well as I do, Y/N?" he asks. When you shake your head, he slaps your cunt again, another wet sound echoing through the room. "Words, baby girl," he goads, fingers dancing through your folds. 

"N- no, sir. they can’t make me feel half as good as you did. I’ve al- I’ve always been thinking about having you touch m- my cunt and making me cum really hard. and I- shit I’m so needy sir, I wanna cum," you garble out, tears pricking the corner of your eyes. You feel Jimin’s hand leave your pussy, exposing your soaked heat to the cool air of the room. Slowly, he pulls your thong up your thighs and the light touches make you clench in desperation and whine out.

He marvels at the sight of you so fucked out in front of him. The way his top student was falling apart at the slightest touches he gave you. And the words you said. God, to have you say such filthy things in comparison to your gentle demeanor, all because of him, it really did something to him.

Jimin finishes clothing you and presses a kiss to the top of your ass and walks across the room to get some tissues to clean up the mess you made. Still perched on the desk, you watch him needily, thighs rubbing together to relieve some of the pressure from being denied your orgasm. "So I really don’t get to cum?" You ask meekly, holding back a sob. "I need to cum, Mr. Park."

He chuckles, "there’s a difference between need and want, doll. You want to cum, you don't need to cum. But what you do need," he returns to you, leaning down so that his face is right in front of yours, "is to get to your next class." Your face, once eagerly lit up in anticipation, has now fallen in disappointment.

Rolling your eyes, you huff out a "fine" and get off his desk, feeling your arousal make your thighs stick together. Your panties are uncomfortably damp and you’re so wet you can even smell yourself. "Can you make me cum later?" you question Jimin, sliding closer to him and playing with his tie, praying that he’ll be the one to make you release instead of having to do it yourself when you get home.

"If you play nice I might. If not, then… we’ll see," he hums, handing you a tissue to clean yourself up while heading to wipe down his desk. "I have a lunch meeting in the second half of the lunch block, so if you really need me, I’ll be here before then." 

You grin and nod in excitement. "Cool! so I’ll-" you begin before the first students from the next class start filing in, making you jump. "The door wasn’t locked?" you whisper frantically to him. "We could have been caught, Jimin! Are you crazy?!"

He smirks at you, "didn’t you say you wanted it that way? Where anyone could walk in? I only did what you asked, doll." You’re left speechless as he continues. "Anyways, you should be in your next class pretty soon. I’ll write a note to your professor just in case you’re late. But get going, yeah? I’ll see you in time for our meeting." He hands you a slip of paper and straightens up, tossing the dirty tissues into the trash can in the corner of the room. 

"Okay class, we’re going to get started soon. I presume you all did the reading, so just prepare for the discussion we’re going to be having about it when the bell rings," he calls out to the class. Turning to face you, he questions quietly with genuine concern, "you okay? Did I push you too much for our first time?" 

Your mind swirls with thoughts. Our first time. The words fill you with giddy excitement. It’s just the two of you that know about this, the dirty things you were doing just minutes ago, very nearly getting caught. Knowing that this won’t be the only moment you guys are doing this, fills you with excitement.

"On the contrary, actually," you tease your teacher with a smile. "It was really nice honestly, but perhaps, you didn’t do enough." You bite your lip at the way Jimin's eyes darken and he looks away. "Get to class, Ms. L/N. The bell will ring any minute," he says lowly, jaw slightly clenched. Your core throbs at the sight and you head towards the door. 

"Goodbye, Mr. Park. Thank you!" you call out, catching sight of Lisa, who raises her eyebrows at you teasingly and mouths text me. Blushing, you nod at her before leaving the room to go to your next class.

Being "one of the smartest students on campus" comes with its perks. Like right now, for example. You always (somehow) come to class overprepared, so when your next teacher gives you a day to work on your project (which you've already finished), you head to the back of the room to text Lisa in private. 

from lisa: dude wtf was that you were literally talking to Mr. Park outside of ur class time with him

from lisa: omg wait don't tell me you fucked him

from lisa: did you

to lisa: NO I DID NOT OMG I wish tho lmao

to lisa: I was asking him for help on the paper he's assigning us and to proofread it and stuff before I submit it

from lisa: omg I forgot he assigned us that shit

to lisa: dude lmao its due in a week or so you have plenty of time

from lisa: ugh literally he's such a hottie why does he have to be so into teaching

to lisa: sis commitment to something is hot

from lisa: omg ur right wait a sec tho

from lisa: dude

from lisa: omg

from lisa: he definitely has a boner

Knowing that you were likely the cause of it, you shift in your seat cockily, smiling slyly to yourself while looking down.

to lisa: whAT

to lisa: wait how big is it

from lisa: ok I dont think he’s fully hard yet he's like semi hard but barely 

from lisa: LMFAO Y/N don't worry I think he’s packing seems kinda thick too

Taking in a deep breath, you look up at the ceiling. You imagine him slowly sinking into you and making you whimper at his size. Him seeing your face and growling, "if you’re really a good girl, you should be able to take it." You cross your legs tightly and rock up and down in a lame attempt to diminish the rising pressure between your thighs and look back down at your phone.

to lisa: pls thats so hot

from lisa: IKR I want him to r a i l me

to lisa: or eat me out… have you sEEN those lips of his wtf

from lisa: on god do not get me started

to lisa: pls i bet he’d be the type to tease you

Oh Lisa, if only you knew the truth behind those words.

from lisa: YES hes lowkey cocky bc he knows like the entire fucking population simps for him

from lisa: he’s def gonna make you beg to cum

to lisa: pls thats hot do not get me riled up in class istg

from lisa: too late i've already started babe ;)

You continue texting Lisa throughout the entirety of your class. Finally, you look at the clock and seeing that there are only a few more minutes till the class ends, you wrap up your conversation with her.

to lisa: hey btw i’m gonna be coming to lunch late… save me a seat at our regular spot?

from lisa: when ur best friend is a teachers pet :(( fiNE I guess I will

to lisa: love u!! xx

from lisa: love you too nerd xoxo

The bell finally rings, signaling the start of the lunch break and you immediately stand up and walk out the door, bidding your teacher goodbye and thanks.

Running into the bathroom, you do a quick check of your appearance. You tug up your skirt a bit higher and tuck in your shirt so that your outfit accentuates your curves. You glance at your face and notice how abnormally large your pupils are in comparison to most days. Jimin has completely ruined you today, just like he said he would. I'm going to wreck you, Y/N. His words echo in your ears as you make your way out to his classroom. Trying to ignore how uncomfortably wet your panties are, you knock on the door to his room. 

You hear a smooth voice answer with a, "come in," and take a deep breath before opening the door to see Jimin sitting behind his desk, leaning back in his chair with his arms behind his head. He scans you up and down, eyes taking in every inch of your figure. "Nice outfit alterations," he notes, patting his laps as a hint for you to sit on it. You quickly lock the door and make your way to him, placing one leg on each side of him so that you’re now straddling his thighs. "Is this all for me?" he asks and you tuck your head down, suddenly shy now that all his attention is on you again. 

"Mhm, depends on whether you like it or not" you smile timidly, hands reaching out to play with his tie again. He laughs. "Princess, I’m conflicted. You do look very nice, all dolled up for me like this. It’d be a shame if I were to ruin your efforts. But on the other hand," he remarks, "you’ve very nearly crossed the line for indecent exposure. What if another teacher caught you like this? you would get in trouble, hm? And what if it were a student to see you like this? What would they think of you then?" He questions, causing your cheeks to burn at his words.

"They would think I- that I’m a whore. I- and that I dress up like this just so I can pass my classes," you whisper out, biting your lips in a combination of excitement and humiliation. You can feel yourself start to throb again and you start to rut against Jimin’s thighs. He shifts you over so that you are sitting on only one and slightly bounces his leg. The stimulation to your neglected cunt sends a shock running through your body and you squeeze your thighs around his.

"Look at you, so fucking desperate to cum. You think that you aren’t a little whore already, so needy for me this quickly, hm? Do you really think you deserve to cum?" He hums, admiring the way you’re worked up. He pushes up your skirt and slaps your thigh just underneath your ass. You shift away as a reaction, causing your clit to get the stimulation it finally deserved. The way your underwear rubs against your neglected bundle of nerves causes you to let out a groan and drop your head to Jimin's shoulder. He spanks you this time, making you yelp. "I asked you a question, doll."

"Mmhm, yeah," you whine out, "I deserve t- to cum, sir." At this point, your hips are moving on their own accord, shifting back and forth desperately against Jimin's thigh. He grabs your waist tightly, holding you still. "Look at me," he commands, bouncing his thigh. You mewl into his shoulder, the change in motion making you lose focus. He spanks you again, the sound echoing around the room. "Listen to directions, sweetheart. Or else you’ll get punished," he warns.

You lift your head to look at Jimin, faces just inches apart. His eyes scan over your face, lingering on your lips. Slowly, you lean towards him, closing the distance between you two. He gives into your eager kiss and you glide your hands up his firm chest to run your fingers through his hair. He starts bouncing you on his thigh and you groan into his mouth. Breaking apart panting, you place your forehead against Jimin’s, moving your hips back and forth harder to increase the pressure going to your clit.

"God, Y/N, you’re so wet," Jimin pants while looking down at the way your clothed pussy drags over his thigh. "I can feel you soaking through my slacks," he says, shifting you over. just like he said, there is now a wet spot on his thigh from where you just were. Thankfully, it’s barely noticeable, but if you focus enough, you can see it.

"What are you going to do about it, hm? I have classes to teach, meetings to attend. Do you want people to see the mess you made all over me?" He hisses, spanking you to elicit an answer. "N- no, sir. I’m s- sorry," you whisper out, eyes clenched, still rutting against him. You feel your orgasm bubbling up as every second passes.

"I don't think you're sorry, doll. Look at you making a mess all over me through your panties. You're absolutely soaked, so fucking desperate to cum," he tuts, clenching his thigh muscles purposely. You gasp and shove your head into the crook of Jimin's neck, letting out a low groan.

"Mr. Park, I'm so wet because of you. I- god, I wanna cum. please. I'm so close," you mewl into him, legs starting to tighten around his thigh.

You shut your eyes, feeling your impending orgasm build up. Right when you're about to let go, Jimin holds your hips in place tightly, preventing you from moving. Squeaking out, you make an attempt to shift your pussy over his thighs. It's no use because you can feel it start to drift away slowly and you look at him in need. Tears stinging the corners of your eyes, you plead, "S- sir I need you to touch me again. Please."

"Well, since you asked so nicely," Jimin smiles cockily, lifting you onto his desk and spreading your legs after stripping you of your panties. You lean back so that you face the ceiling. Your eyes roll back once you feel him take your clit into his mouth. You moan and arch your back off of the desk, thighs involuntarily clenching around his head. 

"God, Mr. Park, yes! O- oh, fuck, please," you blabber out incoherently, your mind hazy and overwhelmed with pleasure. "More," you whimper out without thinking.

Jimin disconnects from your heat to look up at you, murmuring, "Greedy little slut wants it all, huh? Won't even ask nicely for it. Tell me what you want, Y/N. Beg for it, and I might just give it to you."

"God, I- I want it all, professor," you call out, wiggling your hips in search of stimulation that never comes. "Want you to stuff me with your f- fingers and lick my p- pussy and make me cum. Want you to fuck me r- raw with your fat cock from behind and sp- and spank me. Want you to ma- make me cry from cumming so hard just as much as you have from not letting me cum. A- and I want you to leave hi- hickies on my thighs so that if I bend over, p- people are gonna know how much of a cockslut I am, just for you."

"Yeah? Well, I can tell you this," Jimin says, fingers dancing up your thigh closer to your sick-ridden core. "You are a cockslut. So fucking dirty. Most people come to class to learn but it seems that you come here to get off." He inserts a finger into you and your walls immediately clamp down on it. He moves the digit in and out of you smoothly, your arousal allowing the smoothest of motions. "You like that, baby? Finally having something in that tight cunt of yours?" You nod at his question, adding on "want more, sir."

"Not enough? Greedy little bitch. look at you, so needy. What are you gonna do when I have my cock out, hm?" He shoves a second finger into you and starts curling them into your heat. You arch your back to the ceiling and he hovers over you. For a moment, there’s nothing but the squelch of his fingers in your wet pussy and your panting as he stares into your eyes. Jimin's eyebrows are furrowed and he’s biting his lip - he’s focusing on something.

That "something" becomes apparent when, all of a sudden, you nearly sit upright and let out a loud moan of pleasure, "Fuck, Mr. Park! right there." His fingers continue rubbing that special spot inside you repeatedly and your legs start shaking ever so slightly. You look back at him to see a smug smile on his face. "I found it," he chuckles as you writhe underneath him. He leans down to kiss you, lips melding together.

He keeps fingering you, bringing his thumb up to ghost over your clit ever so slightly to provide enough pleasure to bring you close to your orgasm but just not enough to make you cum. You whine against his lips and he breaks the kiss, asking "you want to cum, doll?" to which you weakly nod. "Then fuck yourself on my fingers. Show me how much of a little slut you are for me. How you’re a cocksleeve for me, so wet and needy as soon as I touch you, so ready for me to fuck you." He stills his digits inside of you and you buck your hips on them, rolling your pelvis repeatedly in an attempt to get to your orgasm. You reach down to provide some stimulation to your clit, but he smacks it away.

"Jim- professor, it’s not enough. I- I need more, please." Tears start welling up in your eyes at the thought of not cumming for the third time. Jimin kisses your temple, the gentle action reminding you that he’s not going to do something you can’t handle. "Please, Mr. Park. I wanna cum," you whine out, hips jerking back and forth in a pathetic attempt to chase after your high.

"Show me then, Y/N. how much you want it. A good girl can show me that she wants it bad enough and will make herself come on my fingers alone. She’s not greedy. She doesn’t need to touch herself too. She just needs my fingers to cum. I know you can be a good girl,  Y/N," he goads. "Can you show me what the pretty little face of yours looks like when you cum? I bet you’ll look so beautiful, even more than you are right now, all fucked out for me."

"Hhngh, sir I- I’m trying," you pant out. "It’s just not enough. I promise I'm a good girl, I swear. Please let me cum. Oh god, I wanna cum." At this point, you’re nearly crying. You haven't ever been edged like this and are desperate for release.

Jimin sees this and purposefully retracts his hand from your cunt covered in your honeyed juices, glistening in the lights of his classroom. "Professor Park, please," you choke out weakly, chest constricting in disappointment. With a soft smile, he brings his fingers up to his mouth and cleans them off, savoring the flavor of you. 

"Be a good girl for the rest of the day and then I’ll let you cum, baby," he hums. "You promise?" you plead, holding onto his arm desperately. 

"I promise, Y/N," he kisses you gently and you taste the remnants of yourself on his tongue, the filthy action causing your clit to throb even more. Combined with the way your cunt is still clenched tight in preparation for an orgasm that won’t come soon, you can definitely say that you can't wait for the school day to come to an end.

"Go to lunch, doll. I have a meeting soon. Don’t think of me too much, hm? Gotta keep those straight A’s the way they are," Jimin teases, pulling down your skirt slowly, fingers just grazing your thighs. He grabs your panties. "Oh, and I think I'll keep these for now," he says cheekily, putting them in his pocket. "They didn’t seem to be doing their job when you were riding my thigh."

You watch him in shock, cheeks flushing red hot. "I- okay. uh, I’m going to lunch now, Jimin. Have a good lunch and meeting, I guess?" you say awkwardly, shuffling to the door with him, tugging your skirt down. 

"Jimin? We’re on a first-name basis already, Y/N? Don’t let anybody hear you call me that in class, baby," he winks, holding the door open and you nod, preoccupied with the little "situation" your skirt just barely hides. You can feel yourself still leaking down your inner thighs, and pray that nobody’s going to notice when you walk into the dining hall.

"Ugh! Bitch, what took you so long?" Lisa exclaims when you sit down next to her with your lunch. You pout. "I wasn't even gone for that long."

"Ha! That long, my ass. You were gone for more than half of the break! I had to tell Jaebum and his cronies to fuck off on my own! I’m not as intimidating when you’re not around, though, so I don’t think it worked. They’ll probably come over again soon." Lisa rolls her eyes. You snort, "One of them probably likes you, that’s why they keep bothering you."

"They just like any female and will take what they can get," Lisa mutters, "but anyway! How was your meeting with Mr. Park? Did you solve his boner problem?" she wiggles her eyebrows.

You clear your throat. "No, Lisa I did not. I'm obviously above that," you say in a sarcastic tone. "I simply offered to," you tease. Lisa squeals and slaps your arm in response. "But for real though," she says. "Anyone that gets to hook up with mister Park Jimin automatically wins at life," and you hum in agreement.

You scan at the dining hall around you and catch the eye of Jaebum sitting with his friend group. He winks at you and you roll your eyes and stand up, "come on Lisa, let’s go. Those assholes are going to come over any second if we stay here any longer." You drag her to your guys’ next class.

The bell rings and the two of you burst out of the classroom. Thank god that’s over. Only one more class left, you think to yourself, gripping your books tighter to your chest in excitement.

"Jesus fuck, since when were you this eager to get to the last class of the day, Y/N? I thought you loved staying in school for as long as possible," Lisa huffs out. You steer her into the direction of your locker, right across from Jimin’s classroom. 

"I'm picking up my books, you dummy. Be grateful I paid for this locker because otherwise, you wouldn’t be able to put your books here." You put in the code and exchange your books while Lisa checks herself in the magnetic mirror attached to the door. you have to be careful when bending over because otherwise you’ll flash the entire school, so you do a weird sit-squat thing. "Geeking out over lockers? You act as if you’re still in high school, Y/N," Lisa teases. "Only during the school day," you wink up at her.

Lisa spots someone through the reflection of the mirror and groans out. "Incoming," she warns, rolling her eyes and turning around. "Wha-" you begin when you get cut off by a smooth voice behind you.

"Damn, L/N. didn’t know you wore skirts this short on campus. Looks good on you," the guy winks. "But it would look even better on my bedroom floor." You hold back a gag and turn to Lisa, raising your eyebrows in exasperation. 

"Wow, I see the originality," Lisa says in the most sickeningly sweet voice. "What do you want, Jaebum?" He chuckles and places an arm over your head, leaning over you. "Well, I’m having a party tonight, and it would be amazing if you two little ladies could attend. Be mine and Jackson’s plus one?" he says. You’re about to say no when he leans in closer to you, inches away from your face, "plus you can get the high-quality drinks for free, not the cheap booze we leave out for the randos who show up."

"You’re probably gonna drug them or something. No thanks, dickwad." you huff out after a second’s hesitation, pushing him away, ready to go to your next class. "Nah, baby. I may be a fuckboy but at least I've got morals. Whaddya say? You get me off, I get you off? Maybe make you cum so many times it starts hurting? You look like you haven’t been able to get an orgasm in a while, you’re so uptight, L/N," Jaebum smirks. 

"You fuckin-" you start to hiss out but you’re shut off again. This time it’s by someone different. Jimin. "Mr. Lim, I don’t think it’s necessarily appropriate to discuss your sexual endeavors while in an academic setting. I’ll be letting you off with a warning for now." He turns to you, eyes flitting across your DIY skimpy outfit. You feel your cunt leak more of your honeyed juices under his piercing gaze and clamp your thighs together to keep them from dripping down your thighs. "And Ms. L/N, I expected better from you. You’re not typically one to do these things in a school environment. Get to class, the two of you," he says, turning back to his classroom.

"Oh," he adds, "and Y/N. fix your outfit. I would hate to see you get dress coded by a teacher who isn’t as lenient." You, Lisa, and Jaebum stare at his back in shock as he heads inside his classroom. 

"Well, uh, that just happened," Lisa states, turning to you. "Ready to go?" you nod numbly, mind swirling with embarrassment and excitement as you tug down your skirt. The two of you walk to the last class of the day while Jaebum calls out, "my place after 11, L/N! I’ll be waiting!", making you wince. Great, now a bunch of people are gonna think you’re hooking up with him.

The last bell of the day finally rings, and you head to your locker after bidding Lisa goodbye. You put your books in your locker and head to the bathroom to fix your clothes. You decide to tease Jimin even more by adjusting your skirt so that it ends just at the bottom of your ass. It’s a terribly risky decision; if you walk too fast, you risk flashing everyone. You’ve tried to wipe the slick off the juncture of your thighs, but it keeps getting replaced with more of your arousal.

You speed walk down the halls and fling open the door to see that Jimin isn’t in his classroom - or so you think. Once you take a few steps into the room, you hear the door shut behind you and lock. Jimin looks at you up and down. "You didn’t fix your outfit, Ms. L/N. Looks like I’ll have to dress code you for indecent exposure then," he hums, heading to his desk to take out a slip of paper.

"Wait Jimin, what? I thought we were- um. You know, going to-" you splutter out, realizing he was actually serious. You can’t have this on your academic record! What would your parents think?

"Going to what? Fuck? Seems like you already have someone else for that, Y/N," he shakes his head, grabbing a pen. You reach forward quickly to stop him, hand, gripping his forearm in desperation. 

"No Mr. Park, I- I never told Jaebum yes. I just-" you try to explain, but Jimin cuts you off. "You what?" he asks bitingly, taking you by surprise. "Did you think that you could just come back and hop on my dick after nearly making out with another guy? God, you really are a slut, aren’t you?"

You rub your thighs together, trying to relieve some of the steadily mounting pressure in your core at Jimin’s words. "Look at you, I told you to fix your outfit and you fucking pulled up your skirt. You pulled it up. You don’t listen to me, talk to your friends about how much you want me to rail you, and yet let other guys make plans to hook up with you. And you expect me to let you cum after all of that?" he continues, noticing the effect he has on you. "You really think I should let you cum, Y/N? I'll tell you what I think. I think I should leave you like this, dripping and needy for me. So ready to get fucked by me but not being able to."

Your eyes widen, "no, please professor, no!" 

"Should I jack off in front of you and not let you touch me? Maybe then would you learn your lesson? Or maybe I should spank your ass till it’s blue you’re unable to sit. Would that work, hm? What if I just send you back to the dorms? You could ask Jaebum to touch you, even if he can’t make you half the mess I can," he continues, pushing you onto his desk. He grabs your jaw and tilts your head up, forcing you to look at him, humiliated, with tears in your eyes.

"Aw," he pouts sarcastically, "is the baby crying? Because I didn’t let her cum? Well, princess, you knew what you were getting yourself into. Little cocksluts like you don’t deserve to cum so easily."

"P- professor, please. You can punish me. Teach me a lesson. B- but just please let me cum." You whimper out, attempting to cross your legs together to assuage your aching clit, but Jimin stops you by holding your knee with his other hand.

He slowly trails his hands up your bare thigh, admiring the way your soft skin seems to get chills at his touch. He pushes you back onto the desk and you prop yourself up your elbows to look at him. "Are you a cockslut, Y/N?" he asks, unbuckling his belt and unzipping his trousers. 

"Y- yes Mr. Park. I- I’m nothing but a hole for you to fuck," you whimper meekly as he pushes up your skirt. He pushes apart your thighs and tugs you to the edge of the desk. "Damn right you are. Nothing but a little whore that I can use to get off. I’m going to fuck you here in school like you’ve never been fucked before. And this dick you’ve been thinking about all this time, it’s going to finally be in you, and I better not hear any complaints," Jimin growls, pumping his length in his hand. "No sir," you whimper out.

"You on the pill?" he asks, to which you reply with a yes. He teases your slit with the pink head of his cock and your entrance flutters at the touch. "But on another note, tell me if you want to stop. I don’t want to push you too much."

You smile, "Jimin, you’re being too kind. I promise I'll tell you. But I did say before perhaps you weren’t doing enough. Mr. Park, I want you to ruin me," you bite your lips, mimicking his words from earlier in the day. He cocks his head in amusement. 

"Don’t worry princess, that’s exactly what I’ll be doing." Without warning, he thrusts forward into your heart, barely giving you time to adjust to his size. The girth of his cock stretches open your cunt with painful pleasure. Once he’s sheathed inside you, you can feel him very near your cervix. 

You let out a shaky breath but it’s cut off as he continues thrusting in and out of you, wet slaps echoing through the room. "M- Mr. Park-" you moan incoherently. 

"Fucking take it, Y/N. You wanted me to ruin you? Well here I am doing it; be fucking grateful." he rolls his hips into yours, hands gripping your sides harshly.

"Th- thank you Mr. Park, s- so much," you nearly sob out, almost crying at the relief of being fucked. You’re so turned on that your walls are clenching around Jimin’s dick so hard that he grips your jaw harshly. Gritting his teeth, he spits, "loosen up, babe. You’re so fuckin’ tight." You whine and try to relax but the stimulation Jimin’s providing has your eyes rolling back instead.

He snakes a hand down to your stomach and under your skirt, circling your throbbing clit. Your pussy flutters at the stimulation and you bite your lip harshly. He changes his angle slightly, causing your thighs to start shaking. His precum and your honeyed juices drip out your sopping cunt, the sound of wet slaps echoing around the room.

"Mmmmh," you moan out softly, back arching slightly. You can feel Jimin hitting your g-spot with impeccable accuracy each time. Doubled with the way his thumb is rubbing circles on your sensitive clit, you feel yourself reaching your orgasm. You try to suppress the giveaway signs of your impending release, knowing that Jimin, in order to "teach you a lesson" of sorts, is likely to take it away from you, so you attempt to just breathe out, "Jimin, fuck, it feels so good."

"Yeah, you like that, baby?" he thrusts into you deeper and harder and you bite your upper lip to stop your moans from slipping out. "Come on Y/N, let me hear those pretty little moans. Let everyone else know how well I'm fucking you, how good I make you feel," Jimin urges.

As soon as he utters those words, you give in, letting high pitched whimpers spill from your lips. Your pussy lets out filthy squelching noises at each of his thrusts, your wetness dripping down your ass and onto the desk. You feel your walls tightening around his cock and try to fight it off, but Jimin can already tell of your impending orgasm. He pulls out of you, leaving your warm and soaked cunt open to the air.

"Fuck," you exclaim in frustration, bringing your hands up to cover your face so Jimin doesn’t see your face, tears starting to spill down your face. It’s frustrating you so much that he won’t let you cum. That he enjoys seeing you whimpering and teary-eyed for him. Your thighs haven’t stopped shaking and Jimin parts them after you close them. He pulls down your arms and smiles evilly. 

"Well, what do we have here," he exclaims, "looks like the baby finally did start crying. Come on, Y/N, I thought you had it in you. But look at how you’re spread out on this desk for me, such a fucking mess. I bet you like it, huh? Dirtying up my desk with that cunt of yours."

"I need to cum, Mr. Park," you choke out, trying to gather your thoughts. "I need to cum now." your teacher’s eyes narrow and he grips your thighs harshly. "What did you say to me?" he asks, a tone laced with dangerous amusement. 

"You heard me. I-," you hesitate for a moment, but decide you’ve already put yourself through enough teasing today. You muster up your courage before saying, "I want you to make me cum now." 

There’s a moment’s silence before you add on shamelessly, "o- or if it’s too much to ask of you, I- I’ll just find someone else to help me do it. Maybe Jaebum? He promised a good time a- and said he would let me cum as many times as I want."

Jimin grabs you by the chin and pulls you up. "You’re such a fucking brat, Y/N." Shifting his hand so it’s gripping your throat, he mutters, "you don’t fucking learn, do you? I thought you were smart, hm? But has the need for sex made you lose your sense? Made you turn into a dumb little bitch, ready to bend over for anyone because you’re so horny? And here I was thinking you were better than that. That you had standards. Perhaps I was wrong, hm? Would you like to tell me?"

You try to look down, away from his piercing glare, but he turns your chin to look back at him. Humiliation courses through your veins as Jimin’s gaze wanders down your body scathingly. "Look at you," he coos sarcastically. "Y/N, baby, you’re such a fucking mess. Pathetic." Suddenly, he lifts you off the desk and bends you over it, cheek pressing the top and ass exposed over the edge to him. You whimper at the feeling of your shirt being stickied from your arousal left on the table from just a few minutes ago. You try moving away from it, but Jimin holds you in place. 

"Are you afraid that everyone else is going to see the mess on your shirt, Y/N? Is that why you’re trying to move?" he hovers over you from behind. "Or perhaps," he continues, hot breath tickling over the shell of your ear, "you want to continue being a brat. Make me punish you until you’re begging for me to make it stop."

He spanks you, the sound echoing across the room before you register the sting of his action. You clench involuntarily and let out the slightest of whimpers. "Fucking hell, are you this turned on? Making noises even if I don’t touch your filthy little pussy?" he asks, smacking your behind again. You bite down on your lip to avoid giving him the answer he already knows.

"Count for me. Be good and maybe I’ll finally let you cum." he commands, spanking your right ass cheek again. "O- one!" you groan. He spanks your left side, the stinging sensation causing you to leak more arousal. "Louder, Y/N. Let me hear you," he hisses, hand in your hair, and pulls you up slightly. "T- two," you stammer. another slap echoes across the room. "Three! God Mr. Park, please." At this point, you’re not even sure what you’re begging for; your mind is numb with lust.

"T- twenty! Agh, fuck, please," you squirm under Jimins grasp. The throbbing of your clit has increased tenfold, and you can practically feel the shaking of your thighs through the desk. 

Jimin slips his hand between your legs, feeling the soft flesh of your inner thighs slicked with your juices. "You’re fucking dripping, Y/N. Look at you. Did getting punished turn you on this much, doll?" He swipes up your slit, teasing your fluttering hole. You scrunch your eyes in displeasure and try to back up into him, only to be stopped by a harsh smack onto your already throbbing cunt. You yelp and flop back on the desk, cheek pressing the surface.

You feel him rubbing his dick against your folds and sigh in relief. Suddenly, Jimin slams into you from behind with no warning causing you to let out a harsh groan. "Ah, professor!" you exclaim, balling your fists in pleasure at finally being stimulated. His cock seems even bigger from this angle, and your entrance stings delectably at the way he splits you open.

"You feel how tight your pussy is, princess? How tight it is for me? Nobody else makes you feel this needy. Nobody," Jimin mutters in your ear after pulling you up. He pulls your head back by your hair, exposing your neck, which he plants wet kisses on. He reaches down in front of you, tracing an achingly slow path from your stomach to your slit with his fingers. You’re reaching your orgasm at an embarrassingly fast rate due to all of the edging you’re been through, so when Jimin finally brushes over your clit, it’s no surprise that your walls tighten even more instantaneously.

"Ji- ‘m gonna cum," you moan wantonly. "Yeah? Is my little slut finally going to cum?" He hisses out at the way you tighten around him. You nod desperately, gripping his arm rubbing figure eights over your sensitive bud. 

"Oh god, Jimin, I feel it coming. Please please please let me cum. I'm being good for you, Mr. Park, please let me cum," you sob out incoherently as Jimin continues railing you from behind. You feel the ridges of his cock brushing your walls and shudder at his ministrations.

"Let go, princess, I got you. Cum for me. Tell me how good I’m making you feel," Jimin snarls, snapping his hips into yours, eager to get you to finally melt in his arms. You feel your orgasm crashing over you and you clamp down on his dick, legs shaking in relief. Jimin's grip on your hair tightens as he feels you pulsing around him, getting impossibly tight. Nevertheless, he continues thrusting into you. 

You mewl, trying to shift away from Jimin's hold as his fingers return to your clit, rubbing figure eights into them, "J- too m- much," you whimper out, straining against his arms.

"Yeah?" his smooth voice asks, "but I thought you wanted to cum, princess? Didn't you? I need to cum, Mr. Park. I need to cum now." He mocks you. “Well, that's what I'm doing doll. I'm. Making. You. Cum," he emphasizes each word with a harsh thrust, jolting you forward.

You're being reduced to a mess, tears streaming down your face and slick dripping down your thighs. You can feel your gummy walls tightening more and more on their own accord, without even trying. Without even realizing it, you've changed from trying to move away from Jimin's fingers to grinding down on his dick.

Jimin, however, notices this. "God, you're such a slut, Y/N. Weren't you just asking me to stop?" He raises your left leg onto the desk, allowing him to have more access to your folds. He slaps your clit when you don’t give a response and you yelp, clenching down on his dick. He slaps you a couple more times, and your cunt drips even more, making your thighs sticky with your honeyed juices. You can feel yourself nearing your orgasm once again from his motions.  

Suddenly, Jimin pushes you back on his desk and begins hammering into you from behind. "You're going to cum again, aren't you? Filthy little girl, didn't you just cum? Are you really that needy for some dick?" You try to hold back a whimper from his words but it slips from your lips. "You're really a whore, aren't you, baby?" 

In response, Jimin spanks you, and you yelp. "Keep doing that," he hisses when you clench down on his dick. "You like being punished, don't you?" You nod meekly in response. He smacks your already reddened ass again and you hiss at the stinging sensation. Paired with the pleasure his cock is giving you, thrusting so deep into you, you can feel yourself practically getting high off the feeling.

Jimin feels you cumming before you realize it yourself. His hips nearly stutter at the way your walls have clenched around his dick. He opts to rut his hips into yours, no longer being able to thrust in and out due to how tight you are. He reaches under your body to rub tight circles on your throbbing clit and you start cumming again, clenching erratically around his dick. "You cumming, Y/N? Be a good girl and let go for me. Get this fat cock all wet," he commands. You ball up your fists and dig your nails into your palms, pleasure coursing through your veins. Riding the course of your high, you wish for nothing more but to be in the moment. 

When you come down from your orgasm, Jimin finally pulls his hard dick out of you. You feel his precum and your cum drip down your thighs. Whining, you rub them together to get rid of the feeling but it only serves to make you stickier. Jimin parts your thighs and runs a hand up them to cup your pussy, pausing to feel your cunt still clenching from the aftershocks of your orgasm. He smacks your abused heat, jolting you forwards and causing you to grit your teeth in overstimulation. 

He flips you over, spreading your legs open. He leans over you, rubbing the tip of his dick over your swollen and throbbing clit, making you shiver. "Prof- professor, I can’t-" you begin but are interrupted my Jimin quickly shoving into you. Gasping, you clench down onto his dick, eyes rolling back into your head.

"You can, Y/N, and you fucking will," he grunts harshly, snapping his hips into yours. You grasp at his arm after feeling him in you deeper than before. The head of his cock nearly kisses your cervix and his impossibly hard dick stretches your tight cunt open even more, making you wince at the pleasurable pain.

"I- oh god, I really can’t. It feels-" you choke out through your tears. "It feels too- oh!" your head rolls back as Jimin hooks your legs over his shoulders, creating a new angle of penetration. He rubs your clit ever so slightly, the abused bundle of nerves pulsing under his touch. "It feels too what?" he hisses, rolling his hips upward so that his tip just barely grazes your g-spot. Too good, you want to say, but pleasure is clouding your mind and you can’t get the words out.

"That’s it, baby," he hums, "taking my fat cock so well even though you’re so- shit, you’re so fucking tight. Are you gonna cum again, hm? Cream all over my dick and make another mess?" you’re being reduced to a blathering mess, Jimin’s name rolling off the tip of your tongue. "Yeah? Can’t even hold it back a little? Even though I let you cum so many times, you still want more? Greedy little bitch," he spits at you.

When you clench down at his words, he starts pistoning his hips into yours, the sound of his balls slapping against your ass echoing around the room. His cock seems to be splitting you open even more, and you can feel every pulse of his dick on your walls. "Fuck, Y/N. I’m going to cum," he groans.

"I- I’m close too, Mr. Park. It- fuck, it feels really good," you breathe out as Jimin leans down over you. He slows his hips down, opting to roll his hips smoothly and brushing over your g-spot with painful accuracy. Hovering over you, his stare bores into yours, eyes flitting down to your lips, reddened and swollen from you biting them. You whimper and tilt your chin up towards him and he leans his head down to yours.

He lets his lips ghost over yours, warm breath brushing over your lips as his hips grind into yours. "P- please," you beg, and Jimin finally relents and melds his lips to yours, bringing the two of you into a searing kiss, groaning as you near each of your highs. You break the kiss to gasp out, "I’m c- cumming again Mr. Park."

"Yeah?" he breathes surprisedly, "your little pussy’s that sensitive that you’re gonna- fuck, you’re cumming already? So quickly?" he leans down as your orgasm washes over you, this one hitting you slowly and harshly. You arch your back into Jimin’s chest, hands gripping at the collar of his shirt. His thumb continues to gently rub over your clit, causing you to roll your eyes back into your head at the overstimulation. You start shaking underneath him, squirming to get away from the overload of senses, but he holds you in place as you ride your high for what seems to be like an eternity.

"That's a good girl," he soothes as you continue to writhe underneath him. "Look at you, stuffed so full of my cock it’s making you cry. Does that feel good, darling?" you nod, sobbing. When your orgasm starts to fade away, spots of white dotting your vision, he still doesn’t stop thrusting into you. 

You bite your lip, and seeing that he’s close, you whisper, "M- Mr. Park, I want you t- to cum too. I- in me." His hips stutter at your words. "Shit, yeah? You’d let me do that?" 

You nod, "want you to fill me up w- with your cum and s- stuff me so full of it that it’s gonna be in me for days. And I wanna fe- fuck, I wanna feel you in me even when I’m alone, professor." At your words, Jimin lets out a slightly animalistic growl and leans in. "You’d like that, huh?" he asks. "Me fucking you so well till you can’t think straight? Putting my cum in you so that when you walk out of here, it’s dripping down your pretty little thighs, making you look like the filthy little slut you really are? You think you deserve that?"

"Please, sir, I really want it," you beg, "please." With that, Jimin attaches his lips onto yours again, grinding his hips into yours even deeper as he finally orgasms. He doesn’t stutter his hips as he continues his ministrations, even though he can feel your walls desperately squeezing around him, milking his cock of its seed. You feel the thick ropes of his warm cum painting your inner walls every second. Each time he pulls out slightly, a bit of it leaks out of your cunt, dripping down your ass onto his desk. He continues fucking his cum into you until he’s satisfied with the way you’re shivering under him.

For a moment, all is still, nothing but the sound of the two of your breathing filling the air as you stare into each other’s eyes. "Um-," you begin, and Jimin quickly looks away, brushing his thumb over his plump lips. So that just happened. I fucked my teacher. I fucked Park Jimin.

"Wait here," he mutters, making your heart drop in disappointment. You nod, offering him a weak smile. Seeing this, Jimin reassures you, "don’t worry, I’m not leaving you. I’ll be right back," and cautiously steps out of the room after clothing himself.

You take this moment to recollect what exactly happened. Okay, so you just fucked your teacher. It still hasn’t sunk in yet, and probably won’t till you leave to clean yourself and look at the marks he’s made on your thighs and ass. You can’t help the giddiness you feel, like a kid who got the best candy bar in the world. After all, you got to hook up with your crush - in fact, the entire campus’s crush. The door creaks open and Jimin returns with some paper towels and wipes.

"H- hey," he smiles nervously. For the first time, he’s the one that’s stuttering. "Let me clean you up. It’s the least I could do after putting you through so much today." He spreads your legs gently, cheeks flushed, and begins wiping off the slick and cum between your thighs. 

"Jimin, you didn’t do anything bad, calm down. Well, I mean you fucked your student? But other than that you’re fine. I really liked it," you try to explain, stumbling over your words. He looks at you incredulously, but shakes his head, smiling. "I don't want to tell anyone about this," you continue, "and I highly doubt you will, so this can stay as our little secret." 

"Well looks like someone got fucked a little too happy. How come you never smile this much when I’m teaching, hm?" Jimin jokes after he finishes cleaning you up, kissing your knee gently. He hands you your thong that he’s kept for half the day and tells you to put it on. 

"You’re still going to the party, right? Jaebum’s?" he asks and you shrug. "You should go. Have a fun time there, drinking and all that stuff." He leans into you, whispering into your ear, "and if that rascal wants to get into your pants, he’s going to see your soaked panties covering up that precious little cunt of yours stuffed with all that cum of mine. Maybe then he’ll finally back off," he smirks.

You blush, "maybe, Mr. Park. You know, you’re pettier than I thought you’d be." Standing up, to face him, he pulls you in by the waist till your chests are touching. You wrap your arms around his neck and he leans in, whispering, "well, Y/N, I don’t think you knew too much about me in the first place." Closing the gap between the two of you, you give him a peck on the lips, which quickly turns into a more heated kiss, lips melding together and tongues colliding. When you break apart, a faint blush on the two of your cheeks, Jimin smiles fondly at you and you look away.

"Well," you hum contentedly, "if I don’t know much about you now, I’d at least like to get to know you better in the future." 

"One day," he breathes out. "One day."

Your grin, disentangling yourself from his arms. "One day soon, I hope. I’ve got to go now, but I’ll see you next class. Goodbye prof- Jimin. Have a great weekend."

He smiles softly, walking you to the door. "You too, Y/N. If you do end up going to that party, have fun. Stay safe."

[1ddiscourseoftheday]

Tues 23 March ‘21

The Dermot O’Leary podcast ft Niall is out! X Factor host Dermot being “the guy in the suit on the stage next to 1D throughout The X Factor in 2010” (he goes on to say “and I’m immensely proud of the boys in the band and how far they’ve come and the men they’ve become”, awww) they have lots of reminiscing to do! They start at the very beginning with Niall talking about the Irish tryouts being judged by Katy Perry, who told him, “don’t let me down!” “She still reminds me of it. I see her every now and then and she will always says ‘you know, you didn’t let me down’..she’s the one that let me through.” Dermot talks about all of the boys’ auditions (“I remember Louis, cause he was just devastated”) and then they just keep on going chronologically right through it (Dermot makes Niall rate every 1D XF performance lol); “we literally packed up a suitcase in September, moved into the X-Factor house and literally never came back. That was it.”

They go through the move into Princess Park (“we’d heard Girls Aloud had lived there as well, it was like the place where the groups go to live”) and whether they ever got time off (“I had knee surgery, so the boys had four months off then but I was in rehab every day.”) “When you’re in it it feels like 10 years… when you’re in the thick of that, it feels like it’s never going to end,” and the fan madness; “I have to be doing something all the time... I struggled with the idea of ‘why won’t you just let us out? We just wanna go for a walk.’ You can’t get inside the brain of a fan. Now, I completely get it. But at the time, you’re our age, let us out, we just want to walk down the street,” “Liam comes and goes cmon, let’s go, and Louis goes ‘just have a look out that window’ and he opened the curtains and the police had done a headcount and there was 10,000 people on the street.” That leads naturally to “there was no conversation of ‘lets leave it 20 years.’ It was just very much a conversation of ‘right lets not book anything because we’re all knackered.’ We’ve been working flat out since we were 16-17. It’s a bit of both, you can’t have your cake and eat it. I would’ve loved a couple years off but then within a year I brought out music. You miss the buzz. Whether it’s with the lads or not,” and to Niall’s first solo steps; “the first gig I did, when they were calling us to go on, I was like I’ll just wait here til the last minute, cause usually it’s like someone’s in the toilet, someone’s out for a cigarette.. and I get to the stage and there’s just one mic… quite a weird experience.”

So present day and onward? “I agree but coronavirus didn’t [that HBW is better than Flicker]. I personally just kind of felt really deflated over it. I just thought what’s the point of releasing it, you know what I mean? And I nearly pulled the album release. I was doing a week on the Late Late Show with James and Ben. I remember watching on TV Trump coming on and saying ‘I’m closing the border to Europe. You’re either in or out.’ So I flew back to the UK. Just as he was on TV, I said we need to pull the album, but it was minutes away from coming out in Australia. I wanted to cancel it.” Dermot says so what do you do now, do you just abandon it and move on or what, and Niall says, “I started coming up with some good stuff and thought well if I bump into something, I can release it when we can get out into the world a bit more and then it’ll attract people back to my last album,” and “This year has definitely made me... feel like I don’t have to be active all the time. And hopefully with the break, I can come out with my best stuff… I’ve learned more about myself this year than I have in any year of my life. Patience... I have definitely lived the most normal life that I’ve had in 10 years. Working out, cooking, even really mundane things like making my bed… all that kind of stuff that I never had the chance to do before because I was always on the move. For our listener: this is good insight cause it’s like… it’s a really abnormal life.” They also talk about golf and Niall says the most exciting person he’s gotten to meet is Michelle Obama (“she really took that first lady job by the... scruff of the neck” and “the [Obama] girls were fans of One Direction and they would come to our shows in DC, turn up in Escalades, bulletproof cars, and we weren’t even allowed walking down the same corridor.”)

Louis sent love to a fan going in for a third surgery, and we got storytime from a girl who talked about being present for the infamous Haylor pap shoot in Central Park who speculates that hmm, maybe they didn’t really date and it was just PR? They were only together for like 10 minutes and only to get their picture taken, she says, wouldn’t that be kind of weird if you were actually dating someone?! Lol. Yes, it would indeed.

[the-bau-quinjet]

A Song For You

Steve Rogers x Singer!Reader

Summary: Snippets of Steve and Reader's life together as she sings a song she wrote for him.

Warnings: mention of car accident, parents dying, mostly just fluff though

Word Count: 6413

a/n: this is a mess, but I'm happy with it. It's basically a series of blurbs that are not in chronological order so I could follow the song. It's inspired by Like My Father by Jax. :) Sorry if it's confusing, hopefully it all makes sense at the end

Masterlist

Steve had been gone for months on a mission. It wasn’t often his missions lasted that long, so of course one of the few times it happened Y/N needed to tell him something important.

She shook off the annoyance as she got ready for Tony’s gala. He wanted to celebrate the successful mission as soon as Steve and Bucky came home. Of course, everyone tried to reason with him that waiting would be better so that the two super soldiers wouldn’t be exhausted, but Tony refused to listen to logic.

“Nonsense. We’re having the party as soon as they arrive.” He stated matter-of-factly before turning to Y/N. “And you, my dear, are going to sing.”

“Tony, maybe you could at least pretend to phrase it as a question?” Pepper scolded, eyeing the woman in question apologetically.

“Sorry. Will you sing at my party?” He grinned, knowing Y/N would say yes since Tony probably already told everyone she would be performing.

“Tony, you’re a menace.” She eyed him before nodding.

“I am, and you’re wonderful!” He exclaimed. “I happen to know you’ve been working on a new song. Care to sing it for Steve at the party?” He grinned.

“I don’t know how you know about that song, but fine. I think he would like it. Avengers only though! I’ll sing something else for all the guests.”

She rolled her eyes at the memory as she finished getting ready. Luckily she was ready early because Tony came running into the room in a panic.

“He’s here!” Tony’s smile widened as he thought about the nights events. “Let’s go!” He practically pulled her from the room, far too eager to share news that wasn’t his.

Tony had Y/N set up on stage right in time for Bucky and Steve to arrive. She sat behind a piano, ready and waiting for Tony’s cue.

As the guests of honor entered the main ballroom, Tony stepped up to the microphone. Steve stared at Y/N with questioning eyes while ignoring Tony’s speech. She smiled lightly, shaking her head at Tony in an effort to explain.

Steve laughed to himself, wishing for nothing more than to hold her after a long 5 months away.

“Give it up for Y/N L/N!” Tony’s introduction came to a close, signaling for her to start playing. It really was over the top considering he was only introducing her to the people who have become family to her, but she let him do his thing.

“Thanks, Tony.” She smiled fondly at Steve before introducing the song. “I wrote this song for someone special. As you all know, my parents died in a car accident a few years ago. Don’t worry, the song’s not that sad.” She earned a few laughs from her friends before she continued. “Ever since I was little, I wanted a love like theirs. It seemed so magical. Well, I found that love.” She smiled at Steve again.

“This one is called Like My Father.” With the name of the song announce, she started singing. Her eyes never left Steve’s.

I wanna come home to roses

Today had been the day from hell for Y/N. First, she woke up late due to accidentally setting her alarm for 6 pm instead of 6 am. She rushed to get out of the tower on time, only for the subway line she was supposed to take to be closed for repairs, making rushing a complete waste since she was going to be late anyway.

In her haste to leave on time, she forwent breakfast which only made her more irritable. By the time she made it to the studio, she had missed her morning meeting and had to play catchup.

The day only got worse from there. Something went wrong with every song she was meant to work on. Sometimes it was a small thing, like a guitar being out of tune. Other times, the song just didn’t feel right. No matter how many different ideas she tried to work on, she just kept running in circles.

By lunch, she was ready to give up and just go home. Unfortunately, her label was having a meeting to discuss progress for the next album’s lead single. So instead, she tried to cheer herself up with her favorite lunch. Just when she was sitting down to eat, someone bumped into her and spilled the entire meal onto the floor.

Suffice to say, by the end of the day, she was ready to collapse into her boyfriend’s arms and sleep the weekend away. However, her boyfriend was currently on a mission out saving the world, so not even he would be able to lift her spirits this time.

She trudged down the hall toward their shared apartment, eager to take a shower and lay down. It wouldn’t be as comforting without Steve, but it was still better than nothing. Finally reaching the door, she turned the key and shoved her way inside. Instantly, she stopped in her tracks.

The scent of tomato sauce filled the air. The soft sounds of Steve’s old music floated through the air, further adding to the welcoming atmosphere. She stood frozen, eyes filling with tears when Steve noticed her. He smiled, too far away to notice the tears, before turning around to get something from the counter. He held whatever it was in both hands behind his back as he walked up to her, a frown slowly forming as he noticed her expression.

“What’s wrong?” He questioned, hands instantly moving around his body to hold her only to be impaired by a beautiful bouquet of white and peach colored roses. Her tears fell despite her smile. She eagerly took the flowers, throwing her arms around him in a tight hug.

“I’m so happy you’re home.” She took a few deep breaths, calming herself before leaning back to press a soft kiss to his lips. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” Steve replied easily. “Do you want to talk about it?” Despite not knowing exactly what happened, Steve could tell she had a bad day.

She shook her head, her small smile growing as she inhaled the scent of the roses. “No, I just want to be with you.” She leaned further into the embrace, relishing in the comfort Steve always provided.

“That can be arranged.” Steve smiled, carrying her to the couch to eat.

And dirty little notes on post-its

Three weeks. It had been three weeks since Steve left for his mission and Y/N was still finding his notes around their shared apartment. Every time she added a newly found note to the box, she read through all the previous notes as well. It never failed to cheer her up.

Most of them were simple comments about how much he loved her. Little sayings like “I love you to the moon and back” or “My love for you is as endless as space.” Despite the cheesiness, she couldn’t help but smile with each new note found.

But this newest note was… different. The 21 words scrawled on a bright blue post-it had her flushing instantly.

“I miss the way you feel pressed up against me, can’t wait to come home and pin you against the wall”

Suffice to say, Steve couldn’t come home soon enough.

And when my hair starts turning gray, he’ll say I’m like a fine wine better with age.

“Oh my god.” Her voice was flat as she emerged from their shared bedroom dressed for another one of Tony’s galas. Steve turned to look at her, eyebrows raised.

“What? You look amazing.” He smirked when she blushed.

“Steve. I just found a gray hair.” She pouted, holding the offending piece of hair between her thumb and pointer. “Is this what it feels like to be old?”

“You’re not old.” He chuckled at her dramatics. “And even when all of your hair is gray, I’ll love you even more. Like cheese…” He paused, trying to think of a better comparison. “And wine, you just get better with age.”

“Yeah, whatever.” She rolled her eyes before moving to throw the hair away.

“I mean it. I’m going to love you for the rest of our lives.” He smiled, a familiar fondness in his eyes. She moved closer to embrace him.

“I love you too.”

I guess I learned it from my parents, that true love starts with friendship.

She was nearly running down the street, doing her best to slow down the dog pulling her forward.

“Hudson! Stop!” She tried to speak calmly like her manager- the dog’s owner- instructed, but it was no use. Hudson would not stop running, no matter how hard she tried to make him. “Hudson!” She yelled his name again, surprised when he actually halted.

So surprised in fact, that she was still hurtling forwards, tripping over the now stationary animal. She braced herself for impact, eyes squeezing shut and hands sticking out to catch herself, only for the impact to never come. Instead, two warms hands caught her mid-fall.

Her eyes shot open, heart racing and breathing labored. The man who caught her helped her steady herself on her feet before letting go, smiling sheepishly.

“Thank you.” She breathed out, still taken aback by the turn of events.

“You’re welcome.” He replied kindly. “You’re dog’s pretty strong.” His grimace at his own awkwardness went unnoticed by her as she looked at the dog in question.

“My friends’ dog actually. I’m dog sitting this week.” She smiled, relieved to shift the topic of conversation from her to the dog. “He normally listens really well, but I guess he really wanted to get to the park. I’m Y/N, and this here is Hudson.”

“Nice to meet you both, I’m Steve.” He shook her hand, blushing slightly from the contact. Before she could reply, Hudson leaped at a squirrel, pulling her off balance again. Steve reached out to steady her again.

“Here, let me help.” He shifted the leash from her hand to his own, having a much easier time resisting Hudson’s pulling.

“Thank you… again.” She smiled.

The two walked around the park with Hudson every day that week, becoming fast friends. She wasn’t offended when he didn’t recognize her as one of the biggest names in music, just as he wasn’t offended it took three walks for her to realize he was that Steve Rogers.

They understood each other, despite the wild differences in occupation. Steve could easily relate to Y/N’s aversion to the media. Y/N knew what it felt like to have a team of people relying on you. The two just clicked, and thus a beautiful friendship was formed.

A kiss on the forehead. A date night.

“Hey Steve.” She greeted him warmly when they met up for their weekly coffee. He smiled, but didn’t verbally respond.

The two got their coffee, sitting at a table hidden towards the back. Steve’s replies were short, as if he was thinking of something else during their conversation. By the fifth comment of hers that he merely nodded his head or hummed in response too, Y/N decided to address it. “Are you okay?”

“Go out with me.” He replied quickly, eyes going wide when he realized what he said. Her own eyes widened in response, taken by surprise. “Sorry! I just, I mean- let me start over.” He pleaded, relief filling him when she nodded.

“We’ve been friends for a while now…” She nodded along, eyes still wide. “But, I want more. Let me take you to dinner. And not like we’ve been doing. Let me take you on a date?” He smiled nervously, hands fidgeting with the lid of his coffee cup.

“I’d like that.” She replied simply, unable to form a more complicated sentence due to the butterflies in her stomach.

“Yeah?” He released his breath, unaware he had been holding it. When she nodded, a wide smile appeared on his face. “Good. I’ll pick you up at 7 tomorrow night.”

“You mean I have to wait?” She pouted playfully as they both stood up to leave. He laughed, moving his arm around her shoulders to guide her out of the cafe.

“Just until tomorrow.” He smiled fondly, pressing a kiss to her forehead before helping her into her car.

“Tomorrow then.” She smiled. Tomorrow couldn’t come soon enough.

Fake an apology after a fight

“Y/N?” Steve questioned as he entered their apartment. He looked around, unsurprised to see her covered in blankets on the couch. “I’m sorry.” He tried for a small smile, knowing it was of no real use.

“No you’re not.” She pouted, rolling her eyes. “But I forgive you anyway.” She gestured for him to join her on the couch. He jumped at the chance, quickly moving to hold her close to him.

“I am sorry we fought.” He spoke up after a few minutes, still trying to clear the air.

“Me too. It was stupid.” She shook her head, cuddling closer to him. “I just don’t understand why you like it.” She made a face, grimacing at just the thought.

“It’s good! Pizza has really taken on a whole new life since the 30s.” Steve quipped, smiling when you laughed.

“That doesn’t mean pineapple is an okay topping.” She could fell herself getting worked up again, but ultimately the two burst into a fit of giggles. What a stupid fight.

I wanna road trip in the summers

“Steve! You were supposed to turn there!” Y/N laughed as Steve grumbled about the GPS and his preference for maps. “This is why you should’ve let me drive.”

“Nope, because then I couldn’t surprise you.” He smirked, briefly looking at her in the passenger seat.

“What surprise?” She smiled fondly, knowing he wouldn’t tell her.

“You’ll see. Now turn off the GPS, we’re not actually going home.”

Steve drove for the next few hours until the two arrived at a small house just off the beach in Maine. He pulled into the driveway, turning to find Y/N asleep with her head pressed against the window.

“Y/N, we’re here.” He smiled at her groggy state, laughing when her eyes lit up.

“Are we in Maine?” Her eyes filled with tears, a combination of nostalgia, Steve’s surprise, and residual sleepiness the cause.

“We are. As close as I could find to where you used to come when you were little.” He responded, a shy smile on his face. Despite how long they’d been together, Steve was always nervous about surprising her. “I talked to your manager, and you’ve got the weekend off. We’re going to just relax on the beach for three days.”

“It’s perfect.” She gave him a watery smile, pulling him from the back of his neck until her lips met his. “I don’t know what to say.”

“You don’t have to say anything, just-“ Y/N cut him off with another kiss. It was passionate and heated despite the limited area for movement in the car.

“I love you.” She breathed out the words quickly, but meant it with her whole being. “I love you so much. This is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me.” Tears still burned in her eyes, but the overwhelming happiness she felt made it worth it.

Steve looked shocked at her proclamation, but quickly recovered. “I love you too. More than I’ve ever loved anyone.” Y/N knew exactly what he meant with those words, and it filled her with so much happiness she thought she might combust. He kissed her again, and again, and again.

They shared a few more quick pecks before finally getting out of the car.

I wanna make fun of each other

Meeting Steve’s friends was nerve wracking for a multitude of reasons.

Steve was the only person Y/N had outside of her career. All of her friends were somehow tied to her music, except Steve. Her parents died a few years ago, and she didn’t have any other family. If things went poorly with Steve’s friends, would he leave too?

Plus, all of his friends are superheroes. That’s an intimidating group of people to meet even if you aren’t trying to win them over so you can keep dating their friend.

“Just relax, they’re going to love you.” Steve whispered into her ear as the two rode the elevator up to the main residential floor. Steve did what he could to keep the event simple. It was just drinks with his friends, who happened to be Avengers.

“If you say so.” She smiled nervously, laughing to herself. Before Steve could reply with more words of encouragement, the elevator doors were opening. Steve lead her down the hall to a room that resembled a lounge in a fancy hotel. Bars lined two of the walls, a mixture of blue and white furniture sprinkled throughout the room.

“Ahh, here they are!” Tony Stark quickly rose from his seat, ready to meet the woman stealing away all of the Captain’s time.

“Tony, this is Y/N. Y/N, this is-”

“Tony Stark, I know.” She quipped. In her stress to meet all of Steve’s friends, she forgot to mention that she had already met the billionaire. “It’s good to see you again.”

“Again?” Steve questioned a the same time Tony recognized you. His jaw dropped as he turned back to Steve.

“We met at a fundraiser a few years ago-“ Tony jumped in before you could finish the explanation.

“You’re dating Y/N L/N? The Y/N L/N? Famous singer-songwriter, been topping the charts for years, Y/N L/N?” He balked, eyes rapidly flicking between Steve and Y/N.

“Um… yes?” Steve questioned Tony’s reaction, unsure why he was so surprised. “I told you her name already…” He shook his head, waiting for the teasing he knew was incoming.

“You didn’t mention it was actually her! I just thought it was someone with the same name!” Tony nearly yelled, still thrown off by the surprise.

“What’s going on over here?” Natasha walked up to the trio, one eyebrow lifted at all the noise.

“Y/N L/N!” Tony gestured to her. She nervously waved to Natasha, sticking her hand out in greeting.

“Nice to meet you.” She mumbled, one hand still holding Steve’s in a death grip.

“You too, I’m Natasha.” The two women shook hands, giving Tony time to finally find his words.

“I have to know, did Capsicle recognize you when you met?” Tony lead everyone back to the couches, foregoing the rest of the introductions to start pestering you with questions.

“I think he’s a bit outside of my target audience age wise. I don’t hold it against him.” Y/N replied, laughing when Steve rolled his eyes.

“Oh snap, she just called you old.” Sam chimed in, reaching out a hand to introduce himself. “Sam Wilson.”

You smiled at him, introducing yourself as you shook his hand.

“Here’s the real question. Did you recognize him?” Bucky questioned, already knowing the answer. Steve introduced Y/N to Bucky early on in their friendship when Bucky followed him to one of their weekly coffee dates.

“Bucky, you already know the answer to that.” Y/N deadpanned, not eager to share her lack of knowledge on world events. Steve cut in to answer before Bucky could reply.

“She did not. Told me the name sounded so familiar, but she couldn’t place it.” Steve laughed as he teased you.

“You make me sound so stupid! I knew who Captain America was, I just didn’t realize it was you.” She huffed, annoyed with how quickly the tables turned.

Steve changed the topic by moving to introduce her to the rest of the avengers in attendance; Wanda, Vision, Thor, Clint, Bruce, and Peter.

Y/N continued to share stories with the group, laughing and joking at both her and Steve’s expense. Steve smiled fondly as he watched her interact with his friends, getting along just as well as he knew she would.

I wanna rock out to Billy Joel

“Stupid. All of these ideas are stupid. How am I supposed to put out another album when I can’t even write one decent song.” Y/N huffed to herself, unaware of Steve’s presence in the room.

He moved silently through the room as she continued writing down and crossing out ideas. Suddenly, the sound of Billy Joel’s We Didn’t Start the Fire filled the room.

“Steve?” She jumped at the noise, smiling when she found him next to the record player. “Billy Joel?’ She questioned.

“You played me this song after a bad mission. Told me to think about it whenever I needed a reminder that the world’s problems aren’t my fault. Thought it might help.” He shrugged, a small smile on his face.

“I love you.” She got up from the couch, eager to pull him into a bone crushing hug.

“I love you too.” He returned her hug, careful not to actually crush her bones.

The two of them spent the next few hours playing Billy Joel, dancing and singing around the apartment.

And flip our kids off when they call us old

“Okay, grandpa.” Sam chuckled.

“Hey! I’m the only one allowed to make fun of how old he is.” Y/N playfully glared at Sam, enjoying their newfound friendship. “Plus, he’s younger than Bucky.”

“Rude.” Bucky called from the other couch, mostly ignoring Sam and Y/N’s bickering. It was a bit weird for him to hear someone else yelling at Sam, but he appreciated it nonetheless.

“Everyone calls him old.” Sam narrowed his eyes, confusion playing across his face.

“Yeah, but when it’s not me I have to defend him. Like when Pepper defends Tony from Morgan.” She easily compared her and Steve’s relationship to the couple, not realizing the weight of the moment.

“You see your relationship like Tony and Pepper?” Bucky questioned, now completely focused on Y/N.

She shrugged casually, unaware of the tension she created. “I mean, yeah. I think that’s where we headed.” She would be the first to admit she loved Steve more than she’s ever loved a boyfriend before. She likes to think Steve feels the same. “Why do you ask?”

Bucky shook his head, trying his best to seem casual. “Just curious is all.” He waited a few minutes before leaving, allowing Sam and Y/N to start up their conversation again. As soon as he was out of the room, he asked Friday for Steve’s location.

He had news to report.

He’ll accidentally burn our dinner

“Honey, I’m home!” Y/N called as she walked through the door. She was in a surprisingly good mood after a mediocre day.

“You seem happy.” Steve greeted as he walked into the living room from the kitchen. He pulled her close, kissing her before resting his chin on top of her head.

“I am happy. You’re here, what’s there to be mad about?” She squeezed him tighter, enjoying the feeling of his arms wrapped around her.

“You make me happy too.” He pulled her onto the couch, eagerly kissing her after the day apart. He had returned from a mission just before she left for work, and seeing each other in passing was not enough.

“I missed you.” He mumbled against her mouth.

“I missed you too- is something burning?” She leaned away from him, sniffing the air.

“Shit!” He jumped from the couch, running into the kitchen as you laughed at his antics.

“Steve, language!” She called out in mock shock, laughing harder as he whined about burnt pizza.

And let me be the Scrabble winner

“Steve, sucks at Scrabble? Since when?” Wanda questioned as she ate brunch with Y/N and Nat.

“Um, always?” Y/N replied as if it was obvious.

“I have never seen Steve lose a game of Scrabble.” Nat chimed in, smirking as if she already knew what was going on (and lets face it, she probably did).

“Well, I always beat him.” She shrugged. Wanda smirked, clearly forming a plan.

“Well, you’ll just have to play Scrabble tonight and Nat and I will check if he can play better words or not!” Nat nodded along having seen this plan coming.

“Fine.” Y/N agreed, knowing there was no way of talking them out of this.

-

“Steve! Let’s play Scrabble!” Y/N smiled knowing Steve would give her anything she asked for. He walked into the living room with the box, a grin on his face.

The two of them set up the game and drew letters, immediately jumping into the game. After a few turns, Y/N texted Nat and Wanda to come into the living room to enact their plan. She watched from the corner of her eye as the two women watched Steve rearrange his letters.

When he played CAT for 7 points, Wanda gasped. Steve jumped slightly, turning around to investigate the noise.

“Oh my god.” Y/N’s jaw dropped as she realized Steve’s been letting her win.

“He was all set to play ADEQUATE, for probably a billion points, and he played CAT instead!” Wanda pointed accusingly at Steve while Nat just grinned.

“You’ve been letting me win this whole time?” Y/N threw a pillow at him, upset with the confirmation.

“Not every time! Sometimes I have bad letters.” He rubbed the back of his neck shyly. “You just look so happy when you win.”

A small smile took over Y/N’s frown. How could she be annoyed when he was just trying to make her happy.

“I love you.” She rolled her eyes at his puppy dog look. “But don’t go easy on me this time!”

“I love you too.” Steve smirked knowingly and suddenly Y/N was rethinking everything.

And when my body changes shapes, he’ll say ‘oh my god you look hot today’

“I look fat.” Y/N huffed as she plopped down on the couch, still trying to find a dress to wear out with Steve tonight.

“You’re beautiful.” Steve commented from the kitchen, causing her to shriek.

“You’re not supposed to be home yet!” She placed her hand on her heart, feeling the rapid beating from Steve scaring her.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. But you do look beautiful.” He smirked as he walked closer, easily lifting her from the couch. “You look hot everyday.”

He kissed her passionately to convey just how much he believed what he was saying.

I need a man who’s patient and kind

“Steve, I need a few more minutes!” She called as she ran into their bedroom from the office. The two of them were meant to be leaving for dinner 45 minutes ago, but Y/N’s manager forced her into a last minute meeting with a potential collaborator.

“That’s fine.” He called back, a smile on his face. “Take your time, love.”

“How are you so patient.” Y/N huffed as she quickly changed clothes, annoyed with herself for delaying their plans.

“Hey, it’s okay.” He came up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist and holding her to him. “It happens. I’ve missed dates for mission before.”

“Yeah, but that’s important.” Y/N replied, leaning into his embrace.

“So is your work.” He chuckled as she rolled her eyes.

“Not so important it couldn’t wait a day.” She closed her eyes, taking a moment to just breath. “Thank you.”

“For what?” Steve questioned, genuinely confused.

“For being so kind and understanding. For never making me feel like my job is less important than yours, even though it totally is. For being you.” She replied, easily listing things she’s thankful for.

“Thank you for being you.” He replied casually, still holding her to him. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” She smiled before wiggling from his arms to finish getting ready.

Gets out of the car and holds the door

“I’m finally ready. Let’s go!” Y/N called, fully letting go of her annoyance at her manager for delaying her dinner plans.

“Perfect.” Steve grabbed his keys before turning to look at her. He sucked in a breath, eyes slowing gazing over her body. “You’re perfect.”

She blushed, kissing him on the cheek in response. Steve lead her to the car, opening the door for her, pressing a kiss to her lips before jogging around to the driver’s side.

“Where are we going?” She questioned, eager to finally be able to focus on him.

“Dinner.” He replied, a cheeky grin forming.

“Fine, don’t tell me.” She deadpanned, smiling as he laughed.

They discussed anything and everything they could think of as Steve drove to the restaurant, topics ranging from new songs they both liked to what a T-Rex would have for breakfast if it could cook like a person.

Eventually, the car pulled to a stop outside of a small, family owned Italian place. The lights were on, but there was nobody seated at any of the tables.

“Are you sure they’re open?” Y/N questioned, confused by his smile.

“They’re open… just for us.” He smiled shyly. “I wanted you to have a peaceful dinner, so Tony helped me find a place I could book for us for the night. No Y/N L/N or Captain America fans to interrupt.”

“Steve…” She trailed off, unable to form words. She hadn’t even gotten out of the car yet and she was speechless. He walked back around the car, opening the door and guiding her inside. She let him lead her all the way through the building until they reached the outdoor seating.

A string of tapered lightbulbs was strung across the patio, lighting up a single table in the middle. A few candles littered the area, adding to the romantic atmosphere.

“It’s beautiful.” She smiled, leaning in to kiss him before sitting down. Before she could say anything else, a familiar face greeted her.

“My name is Sam, and I’ll be serving you this evening. Can I get you started with something to drink?” Sam smiled at your shocked expression.

“Sam? What are you doing here?” She laughed, confused and overwhelmed with joy.

“I told you, nobody to interrupt us tonight.” Steve smiled, glaring at Sam for playing around. “Sam, I already told you what to bring out.”

“Couldn’t resist.” Sam winked, quickly returning with the drinks Steve requested. Y/N and Steve thanked him before returning to their conversation.

“You didn’t have to go to this much trouble.” Y/N spoke softly, still blown away by the effort and planning Steve must have put into this.

“I know. But I wanted to. You deserve it.” He smiled, taking her hadn’t across the table. “Now, I’ll bet you’re hungry since we were supposed to eat an hour ago.” As if on cue, Sam returned with Bucky, both carrying plates of food. “Let’s eat.”

The two of them continued their conversation from the car as they ate, topics again roaming all over the place. Before she knew it, Y/N had finished eating and Sam was back with dessert.

She looked down at the peach cobbler, laughing to herself. “You know me so well.” She smiled, grinning even more when he offered to share his chocolate cake. “The best of both worlds.”

When she finished eating and looked back up at Steve he was missing from his spot across the table. Instead of sitting in his chair, he was kneeling on the patio beside the table, a velvet box in his hand.

Her eyes widened as she took in the sight before her. Suddenly everything made sense. The lack of rushing, the completely private restaurant, not even having servers in the building. He wanted this to be a private moment.

“Y/N, the day I met you changed my life. I’ll have to thank Hudson for dragging you into the park that day, because I’ve never met anyone as special as you. Every moment with you is like a gift, and I want to spend the rest of my days experiencing life with you. Will you marry me?”

She nodded for a few seconds before finally finding her voice. “Yes.” It was barely above a whisper, but it was enough for Steve to delicately place the ring on her finger. “I love you so much.” She smiled, throwing herself into his arms the second he stood up.

“I love you too.” He replied, framing her face with his hands before kissing her.

I wanna slow dance in the living room like we’re 18 at senior prom

The ride home from dinner was filled with hand holding, giddy squeals, and hundreds of “I love you’s” from both Steve and Y/N. They eagerly ran back to their apartment, giggling like teenagers, high on love.

Steve quickly pulled her into the living room, kissing her over and over. She reciprocated, eager to share her happiness.

“Steve?” She questioned between kisses, waiting for him to hum in response. “Will you dance with me?” She smiled at him. Surprisingly, the two had never really danced together before. The only opportunity would have been at one of Tony’s parties, but they’re always so busy mingling with everyone.

“I’d love to.” He replied, that same fond smile on his face that she’d grown to love more than anything. She clapped, running over to the record player. She chose the first love song she could find, Cheek to Cheek by Ella Fitzgerald and Louis Armstrong.

As the music played, the two swayed together, feeling more in love than ever before. Steve quietly sung the words in her ear, expressing all the raw emotion he’d been feeling since she said yes.

“Heaven, I’m in heaven. And my heart beats so that I can hardly speak.” Y/N joined him, singing along to convey her own happiness as well.

“And I seem to find the happiness I seek, when we’re out together, dancing cheek to cheek.”

They danced around the living room for a few songs, letting the record play through. It wasn’t until the music stopped that they even realized the song changed, too lost in the feeling of being together.

And grow old with someone who makes me feel young

I need a man who loves me like, my father loves my mom

“We’re getting married tomorrow.” Y/N floated through the halls, humming Cheek to Cheek again. After dancing to it the night of their engagement, the couple decided it would be their first dance song. Steve walked up behind her, picking her up and spinning around until they reached the kitchen.

“We are.” He replied, just as elated as her. She giggled playfully, smiling wider than ever before. She was just about to say something when Nat and Wanda bust into the room.

“C’mon. It’s time to go!” Wanda called, gathering Y/N’s belongings.

“Where?” The woman questioned, still wrapping in Steve’s arms.

“You’re getting married tomorrow. It’s bad luck to see each other before the wedding.” Wanda spoke as if it was obvious.

“Nat?” Y/N questioned, hoping someone would understand it was just a superstition. Nat just shrugged, helping Wanda as she pulled you out of the room.

“I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.” Steve called after her, a smile on his lips as he thought about seeing you again.

-

Standing at the altar, looking into Steve’s eyes, everything she prepared to say dissolved from her mind. She got lost in his blue eyes, listening to him recite his vows. All the love she felt exploded in one quick statement.

“You make me feel young.” She blurted out the words without thinking.

“Is that another old man joke?” He crinkled his eyebrows, confused by the exclamation. The onlookers chuckled.

“No! That’s not what I meant at all.” She laughed, burying her face in his chest. “I just mean, we’re grown adults.” He nodded, still confused. “But when I’m with you, I feel like a kid again. Like all my problems go away and I can just be in love with you. Like my parents were.” Tears formed in her eyes as she thought about the gravity of her statement.

Steve knew how much her parents love influenced her life. She had multiple songs inspired by their relationship and happiness.

“Oh, sweetheart. You make me feel young too. Like how I should have felt as a kid.” He decided against further explanation, not wanting to weigh down the ceremony with talk of war and his sickly youth.

“I just, I never thought I’d actually find a love like theirs, despite how much I wanted to. I think they would’ve loved you.” Steve wiped her tears as they rolled down her cheeks. He pressed his forehead to hers just feeling the need to be close.

“My ma would’ve loved you too.” He replied, his own throat getting tight. They cried as they finally said “I do”, no place they’d rather be.

And if he lives up to my father, maybe he can teach our daughter

Y/N rose from the piano as she sang the last line, exposing her growing belly to the group of Avengers, but more specifically to Steve.

What it takes to love a queen, she should know she’s royalty.

Everyone cheered for her performance, but her eyes were only on Steve’s. His jaw hung open, tears pooling in his eyes. She made her way to him, everyone moving out of her way.

As soon as she reached Steve, he pulled her into a gentle hug, eagerly kissing her.

“I love you so much.” He whispered, holding her close.

“I love you too.” She replied, just as emotional as he was.

“Are you really pregnant?” He leaned back, chuckling at the “duh” look on her face. She wiped his tears as they fell.

“I found out just after you left.” She smiled, leaning into him as he lowered his forehead to hers.

“We’re going to have a daughter.” He sounded breathless, overwhelmed with the news.

“I would’ve told you in private, but Tony insisted on having this party.” She laughed when he rolled his eyes at Tony’s antics.

“You wrote me a song.” He smiled, still holding her close.

“Oh, baby. I’ve written you dozens of songs.” She laughed when he leaned back in confusion. “They’re not all good. I wanted to finish the album before I played it for you. This was the last song.” She smiled, still overwhelmingly in love with the man in front of her.

“I love you. So much.” They spoke at the same time, swaying together as Tony invited all the remaining guests into the ballroom. They missed the song, but it was clear to everyone the room how much the two loved each other.

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[cptsdstudyblr]

how i gradually fixed my relationship with food

TW: disordered eating, food, neglect, child abuse

Background:

I've always said that "I don't have an eating disorder, but I struggle with disordered eating." I don't know if that's medically accurate, but it feels like a good descriptor for my relationship with food. I grew up in an environment where I only ever had access to fast food, and I often went without food or didn't get nearly enough. I grew up in an environment where both of my parents exhibited severely disordered eating habits (and still do). I graduated from high school with no understanding of healthy eating habits or essentially no cooking skills. Now, I'm 21, and while my relationship with food is far from perfect, I am no longer underweight, I almost never restrict my food intake or binge, and I have a fairly balanced and tasty diet (while also allowing myself to enjoy eating what I want, even if it is junk food).

Step 1: Realize that your relationship with food is bad.

It took me a long time to acknowledge that the way I interacted with food as a child severely impacted my relationship with food. I had always assumed that once I was away from home, my eating habits would fix themselves. It took a lot for me to admit that I needed to really evaluate my relationship with food and put effort into fixing it.

It's hard to get to that point. For some people, they have a moment that makes it really clear for them. But for others, it's a gradual process. For me, it took literally moving to another continent and totally changing my diet to really get me fully to that point. Before that, I did acknowledge that my relationship with food had some issues, but I really didn't understand the extent of it.

Step 2: Figure out what needs to be fixed.

So now, you're aware that there is a problem with your relationship with food. But what do you actually need to fix about it? Are you eating too little? Too much? Too irregularly? An unbalanced diet? What's the problem (or problems) you're trying to solve?

This is a super personal thing to figure out. Personally, I regularly missed meals (often unintentionally), binged when I first bought food, and lived off of really repetitive foods that I really did not enjoy eating. I decided to approach my issues from what I saw as most severe to least severe: first, I needed to eat 3 full meals every day; then, I needed to stop binging; and lastly, I needed to implement a more balanced died.

Step 3: Eat every meal.

To help myself stop skipping meals, I first evaluated what caused me to skip meals. A lot of the time, it was the fact that food was not immediately or readily available to me. As a child, since I was fed almost exclusively fast food (and often just didn't eat), I struggled to actually prepare a meal and often didn't find the effort worthwhile. I especially struggled with this when I lived in a dorm and would literally have to walk 10+ minutes and wait in an unnecessarily long line for every meal.

To fix this, I made sure I always had very simple, readily available food in my house. Things like instant mac and cheese, instant ramen, premade tuna salad, sandwich makings, pasta, cereal, etc. I was so resistant to this approach at first as it felt unhealthy to me, but I had to remind myself consistently that no matter the circumstances it is more important to eat enough food than to eat the healthiest food out there. I was significantly underweight, and it was starting to really affect my life (especially by exacerbating my chronic illness symptoms), so I desperately needed to resolve this issue regardless of the perceived health of my meals.

To be honest, this process was the most difficult part of recovery for me. When combining my poor eating habits with my collapsing mental and physical health at the time, even microwaving mac and cheese was often too much for me to handle. And that's okay. Struggling is okay. It took me over a year just to get to the point where I could say that I consistently ate 3 full meals a day.

Step 4: Allow yourself to eat what you want when you want.

This is the approach I took to address my binging habits. It may sound counterintuitive, but it worked really well for me. Essentially, by explicitly not restricting my access to any foods (yes, even really unhealthy ones), I slowly broke down the fear that was causing me to binge on food.

For me, this fear stemmed from a lack of access to food as a child. When I first bought food, especially snacks, I felt the need to eat as much as I could on that day. And I made myself feel so bad about that. I told myself that I was a horrible person for eating so many Oreos I would make myself sick. And that's just not true. My eating habits don't reflect anything about me as a person.

Once I gave myself permission to eat as much as I wanted without feeling any shame, I started to binge less and less over the next few months. I started to get past the barriers and fear that I had about those foods and learn to eat them in moderation when I want them. I am an adult, I buy my own groceries, and I can make sure that I always have access to any food I want. So now, I rarely feel the need to binge because I am no longer as afraid and I no longer feel ashamed.

Step 5: Learn to cook and have a more balanced diet.

Once I got to a point where the amounts I ate in a day were more appropriate and keep me healthy, I was able to focus on what types of foods I eat. Now, I am by no means a health nut, but I do try to eat a relatively balanced diet and make foods I enjoy.

The first step I took towards this was to move away from instant or prepackaged foods. To this day, I always keep a stock of instant foods like ramen because I do still struggle sometimes, especially on bad mental or physical health days. I'm also sometimes busy and need something quick. However, I tried to move away from prepackaged foods to cooking relatively easy foods. I started making simple things like egg/tuna/chicken salad sandwiches, rice dishes, pastas and raviolis, premade dumplings, various types of eggs, sausage, etc.

While I ultimately wanted to move from instant foods to cooking my own meals, I felt the need to take it slow. I didn't feel ready to jump to cooking things from scratch, so I made sure to step up my difficulty levels slowly. Recently, I've started cooking about half of my meals from scratch, but I definitely didn't jump straight to that. And still, I usually make several servings at once and eat leftovers. I also still generally make simpler meals for most of my lunches and eat homemade foods for dinner most nights and for me, that is totally satisfactory. I'm able to make meals that fit my diet and tastes.

I also found that evaluating what foods I wanted to eat really helped me approach this. On the rare occasions when my parents did cook food, they usually cooked what amounted to a slab of poorly seasoned meat and a spoonful of cooked vegetables. It took me a long time (and moving to another continent) to fully realize that cooking for myself didn't mean just eating a chicken breast and green beans three times a week. After living in Seoul (which has a huge variety of restaurants from all over the world, not just Korean food) for six months and asking my roommates and friends to teach me their favorite recipes, I really started to understand what types of foods I like to eat. Now, I cook primarily Cajun foods and various Asian and Middle Eastern foods because that's the type of food I generally prefer to eat and cook. I'd really encourage everyone who is frustrated by cooking or eating to explore different cuisines and figure out what you like the best. Cooking and eating are both much more rewarding when you enjoy the food.

[jawabear]

Hi 😊

Could I request a one shot please with Alfie Solomons? Some fluff and angst, with these phrases from your prompt list:

"You owe me for this" "That's four favours now, right?"

"That's the first time you've said that"

"Seriously?" "Seriously"

You can make it as angsty or as fluffy as you like. Whatever you're in the writing mood for! Thank you ❤

Together (Alfie Solomons x Reader)

Not my GIF

A/N: hey. So. It’s been a little bit of a whole since I actually wrote something. Life sucks you know? But maybe I’m back. But I am so incredibly sorry about how late this is. Recently I’ve just had zero motivation to do anything. But I really hope you like this!! Sorry for any mistakes. Stay safe.

Genre: fluff

Warnings: fem!reader, fluffiness, little bit of angst at the end, I don’t think there’s anything else

Summary: Alfie isn’t the best when it comes to feelings, but he knows when to seize the opportunity

When asked, Alfie Solomons considers himself to be a well mannered man. Which is true enough. He certainly knows how to make a deal. Of course, most of the time it involves using a gun or some sort of violence. But taking away his gangster lifestyle, he was in fact a well mannered man.

But he never had much luck when it came to the ladies. He never really took much notice when it came to a potential partner. He was far more concerned with running a business. But he would take note when a particularly beautiful lady crossed his path.

And he knew the most beautiful one had walked into his life.

Befriending her wasn’t so difficult. She was a nice girl who was probably the complete opposite to him but somehow they got on like a house of fire. Opposites attract after all. Trying to ‘woo’ her was the difficult part. Alfie liked her a lot. He knew that. But because he had little to no experience with the world of dating, he was completely clueless about how to approach it. And he couldn’t ask for help. God forbid he ask anyone to help him ask a girl out on a date. It would crush his reputation completely.

So he had no choice but to go it alone. But luckily the perfect opportunity had arisen.

Being friends with her meant that it wasn’t unusual for him to drop by her house for tea. Most Wednesday afternoons were set aside for tea with her. Unintentionally of course, but they both seemed to make a habit of it. So that’s where he found himself now. Sat in her kitchen, a cup of perfectly made steaming tea before him and her sat in the chair opposite him. He figured now was as good a time as any to ask her his request.

“I know that you don’t like them” he began in an unusually hesitant voice. But it wasn’t completely unusual. He was never really himself around her. He wasn’t the confident man he claimed to be when he was in her presence. She looked up at him and set her tea on the table giving him her full attention. “but I’ve been invited to another charity even. And I...well I was gonna ask you to come along with me...”

“Again” She said holding back a laugh.

Alfie let out a soft laugh and scratched the back of his neck “again...you don’t have to come”

“It’s fine Alfie” she smiled “I’ll come with you. But you owe me for this”

“Yeah yeah” he nodded “I know. That’s four favours now, right?”

(Y/N) let out a laugh “more like four hundred. But yes. It seems that is the score”

-

The charity event now seemed to be in full swing. Alfie and (Y/N) had made their rounds, many people grovelling at his feet asking for payments and support. Alfie never exactly agreed to their offered but he managed to weave his words well to make it sound like her did. Although (Y/N) knew it was most likely that he wouldn’t follow through. But then again, it wasn’t like anyone there was going to follow him up on it. The wouldn’t risk the wrath of Alfie Solomons.

However, as the crowds grew (Y/N) began to feel a little dizzy. She never was one for large groups and the tight dress she was wearing certainly wasn’t helping.

At some point, she had lost track of Alfie, he had wandered off with some other men who looked to be quite young and very over excitable. She didn’t quite like the idea of having to mingle with snobbish people on her own for the remainder of the night so she managed to quickly slip through the crowds and out to the gardens of the large house where the event was being held.

It was the autumn months so the air outside was getting colder and it was especially cold due to the late time of day that it was. But despite the harsh bitterness, she relaxed in the fresh air feeling like she could actually breath again.

She wondered where Alfie was and if he was alright. There was always the threat of an enemy lurking around the corner. Alfie would probably flip out if he knew she had gone outside on her own, but she had her guard up. She knew Alfie could handle himself just fine but that didn’t stop her from worrying about him. Especially since she knew she was head over heals in love with him. She didn’t know exactly what it was about him, and to anyone in their right mind they would never think to fall in love with someone like him. A London gangster. But she couldn’t help it. She did love him.

So the longer she waited alone the more worried she became. She was tempted to go back inside and look for him but each time she turned around the crowd seemed to grow more and more. (Y/N) knew it would be difficult for her to find Alfie in such a crowd even with his distinctive looks. She thought that maybe she stood a better chance of finding him if she stayed where she was. Alfie did know that she didn’t like crowds, so he would figure out where she was quite quickly. If he was okay that was.

(Y/N) shook her head to rid herself of the though. He was okay. She knew he was. He wouldn’t let anything happen to him. Not in a place like this. And not while she was there waiting.

Thankfully her worrying was for nothing.

“It’s cold out here” came his rough voice from behind her.

“I know. But it’s far too hot in there” she answered him.

“In that case” she heard rustling from behind her but didn’t have time to look before he draped his large overcoat over her shoulders “take this to keep you warm”

She gave him a soft smile “thank you Alfie”

“It’s the least I could do. The beginning of payment for all the times I’ve dragged you to these things”

“Despite the extravagance of these, they are somewhat enjoyable” she said quietly before taking a sip of her drink.

“That’s the first time you’ve said that” he told her “but I’ve told you before that you are meant for these things. You fit right in”

“Seriously?”

“Seriously” he nodded “you’re always the most beautiful girl. No matter where you are. There ain’t no one in this world who can compare to you”

“Alfie...” she whispered, her cheeks flushing red. She looked away from him in embarrassment. She didn’t know what to say in response to him compliment. She was used to many things about Alfie, but not him being like this towards her. It was a little awkward but at the same time she didn’t want him to stop. It felt like a dream to be complimented by the man of her dreams.

“(Y/N), look right. We’ve been friends for...years now. And well, you mean more to be than that. I don’t want us to be friends any more. I ain’t never felt like this about any one before. You are something else. And I think that I...well...I love you”

Her head snapped back to look at him. Her eyes were wide and the drink nearly fell from her hand. She let out a shaky breath and just stared at him for an uncomfortable amount of time. “Y-You...can’t...”

“What?”

“You can’t...love me. That’s...that’s impossible”

“What are you going on about?” He asked taking a step forwards. She took a step back, her look of shock now turning to that of fear. “(Y/N)...”

“I don’t...want you to...”

“You don’t want me to? Why not?”

“I’ll hurt you”

“(Y/N), love, what are you taking about, eh?”

“I don’t know how to love someone. Anyone I’ve ever loved I’ve lost. And I don’t want to loose you because I’m incapable of loving someone the way they love me. You’re too important to me!”

“Hey,” He said as he took a long stride towards her, taking her face in between his large hands “I don’t know how to love anyone either. But we can learn. Together, yeah? You’d never loose me. I couldn’t live without you. So...let’s just try, yeah? Together...”

Her eyes flicked between his. She could feel herself tearing up at the overwhelming amount of emotion that was filling her body. But she managed a soft smile and let herself relax a little “together...” she whispered.

27/03/21

[missjaystone]

Old Faces

Summary: The love of his life, the one that got away, finally comes back into Sam’s life and he loves the life they build together, but something... is off... Word Count: 2,490 Pairing: Sam Wilson x Reader Warnings: Angst, panic attack, anxiety attack, implied smut

(Hate to do this to my man Sam, I love him to death and he deserves the entire universe. Part one of two. (Find Part 2 here))

Sam could never forget the first time he met you; Riley brought him home after their first tour together since Sam didn't have a family to come home to. Not that Riley had one either, he only had one person; his goddaughter, you. Sam had a pretty good idea of who you were since, according to him, Riley never shut up about you. He was so proud of you; you got into Quantico at 21, two years younger than their typical admission age of 23! You picked them up at the airport in late November, almost a week before Thanksgiving and you wore jeans with a dark blue hoodie, the words 'FBI Quantico' written in white on the front. You were vibrant, full of life and excitement. By the time Thanksgiving was over and he was going to his own place, he was head over heels in love with you. The only guilt he had was that you were only 23 at the time, more than 15 years his junior. By the time he'd worked up the nerve to ask Riley for permission, they were already due for their second tour; it'd have to wait until they got back. But, they never came back, Riley never came back. The same Sam Wilson that left was not the man who returned.

Five feet was all that was between him and the love of his life. Five feet between him and the one that got away, the one he never thought he'd see again. You just waltzed right into the VA, out of all the Veterans Affairs offices in the entire city of New York and you just walked right into the one he worked at in his free time, when he wasn't busy being an Avenger. He hadn't seen you in at least five, maybe seven years and he could see how you'd changed just in the way that you moved and conversed with the receptionist. You'd gained some muscle mass, that much was obvious even with your jacket on. You must've injured your left shoulder too, he could tell moving it too much or too quickly was painful, or at the very least uncomfortable. You wore a tired expression on your face, but not tired like you hadn't gotten enough sleep, tired like you'd just gotten out after fighting an unwinnable battle for too long. He knew exactly how that tired felt. Something about the moment seemed not-quite-right, it felt off. He couldn't place it so he ignored it.

So he approached you hesitantly, giving a small wave to get your attention; he'd learned his lesson about startling soldiers when Bucky nearly choked him for entering the living room and sitting on the couch too quietly. He watched you look over him for a brief second before recognition his and you nearly tackled him in a hug. He heard you groan quietly at the sudden movement but just tried to avoid adding pressure to your shoulder when he returned the tight hug "you're a sight for sore eyes, (y/n)." "So are you Sam, is this where you've been hiding?" You asked him with a teasing smile. "Sam Wilson never hides, what about you? Where the hell have you been?" He countered with a wide grin. "All over the place; DC, New Orleans, and now with any luck, New York permanently," you answered him, the two of you walking slowly as you conversed. "What do you do these days? And what brings you here?" He was curious as to where you'd been all these years. He hoped to god you weren't already married.

"Hm, I wonder what could possibly bring me to the Department of Veterans Affairs, I can't quite place my finger on it," you sarcastically thought out loud, making him roll his eyes. He was still smiling "very funny, I meant New York." "Work. I've been going around to different colleges teaching things like military history, strategic intelligence, and general polemology, and I just landed a more permanent position at Columbia," you answered with a casual shrug. He started to ask where you served but Steve calling him stopped that "Sam, we're needed at the tower!" He sighed quietly and sent you an apologetic smile "give me your number and we'll-" He paused, looking at you in shock when he saw his phone in your hand. You gave it back after a couple of seconds and smiled "old habits die hard, we'll get together later." "You need to stop pickpocketing people," he said as he smirked at you before jogging over to his friend.

Sam finally got back to you a week and a half later and you two caught up over coffee. He was repeatedly left awestruck when you told him about what you'd been up to. Gradually, your get-togethers turned from getting coffee two or three times a week to grabbing dinner and just getting together to talk and reconnect. It took a while and a lot of prodding from Bucky and Steve before he finally asked you on a proper date. He actually asked you out on Riley's birthday, you both had a laugh at that. Your dates were frequent, mainly whenever his Avenger schedule allowed it. He couldn't wait to introduce you to everyone, he watched as you easily blended in with and meshed with everyone. It was perfect. You were perfect. Still, something seemed not-quite-right, it felt off. Yet, he still couldn't place it so he ignored it.

A year together flew by before either of you knew it. He'd already been contemplating when the perfect moment would happen but now, watching you look over the entire city from the Empire State Building Observation Deck with the sun setting behind you, he knew there'd never be a better time. He'd commit this moment to his memory for the rest of time. He got down on one knee while you were looking through one of the telescopes and took the little velvet box out of his pocket. He could see a few people stopping to watch out of his peripheral vision. When you finally did let go of the telescope and looked at him, you were visibly shocked "Sam? Are you-" You couldn't even finish the question as your eyes started to water when he nodded. His smiling face looked up at you as he, and all of the onlookers gathered around, desperately waited for a response. He watched as you nodded quickly, letting the happy tears fall "yes, hell yes!" He and the group that congregated around you cheered as he picked you up and spun you happily. He pointed over to where Redwing had been perched on a pole "Steve's been manning him so I could have this on video for us." You just laughed and pulled him into a kiss, feeling like you were both on cloud nine. This would be one of the greatest moments of his life. Still, something still felt off. He continued ignoring it. It must've been a little paranoia, so he brushed it off.

Both the wedding and the reception were small and intimate. Tony offered the compound for the tower for the venue and with much help from Pepper, he turned it into the most beautiful place you'd ever seen. Wanda, Pepper, and Natasha helped you pick out a wedding dress. While the three of them were eager to help you and Sam pick and plan, Steve and Bucky stepped back since they didn't have a clue. They helped Sam get the perfect suit; navy blue suit and jacket, white dress shirt, and a dark maroon tie. Planning started in January, a month after he proposed and you wed in May. He nearly cried when he saw you walking down the aisle, clearly holding himself back. You, however, didn't hold any tears back when you two exchanged vows, having to stop yourself at least eight times when you recited your own. Somehow, Vision got ordained, but nobody asked questions. The kiss you two shared was perfect, this was without a doubt, the absolute greatest moment of his life. Except, it felt off. But Sam was far too happy to pay any mind to the feeling he'd grown so used to ignoring.

Despite you and Sam both insisting a weekend away would be a good honeymoon, everyone wanted to send you off to somewhere nice for a couple of weeks. After collective brainstorming, they decided on and booked you two a 14-day all-inclusive honeymoon in Santorini, Greece. You were both pushed onto the Quinjet before you could object at all. Someone had already packed bags for both of you and loaded them on. The ride wasn't as long as you thought it would be and Clint bid you both goodbye and good luck. The hotel room was opulent; it was decorated beautifully with paintings and native flora and fauna, rose petals on the bed, a chilled bottle of champagne sat on the table; it honestly felt like a dream. "Well, Mrs. Wilson, shall we?" Sam asked but when you tried to step into the room, he picked you up bridal style and carried you inside. He set you down on the bed gently but quickly positioned himself over you, his forearm holding him up with his free hand stroked your cheek, looking into your eyes with such love and adoration it almost made you cry again. "I love you so much, and I always will," he whispered softly as he trailed kisses from your lips down along your jawline and to your neck. "I love you too, Sammy, more than anything," your voice was quiet, your mind too focused on the way he was kissing and paying special attention to that one sweet spot on your neck.

For the first three days, you and Sam spent the entire time in your hotel room, intertwined with each other in an intimate dance. Exploring the island was incredible, Sam loved watching you admire everything and really take in the culture. He never missed an opportunity to take new pictures of you. You were sending plenty of pictures to the team, thanking them a million times over for this gift. Sam particularly enjoyed watching you in the crystal clear turquoise waters. Watching you was like being ensnared by a siren's song, and it was a song he never wanted to end. Reality felt off but he'd long ago accepted it was just his subconscious waiting for the other shoe to drop.

"Sam, wake up," your voice said as Sam was lightly shaken. Except, it wasn't exactly your voice, it sounded... off. He turned over and went to toss his arm around your waist and pull you close but was met with nothing. He furrowed his brows and looked around the room for you. Nothing. "(Y/n)?" Sam called as he got out of bed, pulling on whatever was closest to him. No answer. You weren't in the room or the bathroom, you weren't on the patio. He knows you would've left a note if you had gone somewhere. He starts to worry, he grabs his phone and scrolls through his contacts for your number but it's not there, neither are your text messages to each other; your pictures together are gone too. Even as Sam starts to full-on panic, he sees things around him starting to fade away; when he tries to grab something for stability, his hand goes through it. Soon, with everything gone, he's left in a white space with nothing around him. "Sam?" A distorted voice calls out, it's too masculine to be yours.

It sounds familiar, almost like Steve but not quite. "Sam, we need you to wake up right now," another equally distorted voice says and he swears he feels like someone lightly slapped his face. "Somebody go get Bruce!" a third voice calls, more of an order than a request; it was feminine but not yours, it sounded a bit like Natasha but not quite. "His vitals are spiking quite rapidly, he could be in danger very soon if we don't wake him up immediately," a digitalized voice said. Was it Vision, maybe?

Before Sam knew what was happening, he jolted up to a sitting position, gasping for breath. He was in his room at the Tower, everyone around him. He was soaking wet now and Bucky was holding an empty bucket behind his back. His eyes darted around the room anxiously as he questioned rapidly "where is she? What happened? How'd I just get here?" "Whoa, whoa, Sam, where's who?" Steve asked calmly as he gave his friend a towel. "What do you mean 'who'? My wife! My soulmate! Where's (y/n)?" He questioned, his anxious state making it come out harsher than he intended. Everyone still in the room shared a curious look before Steve cleared his throat "you aren't married Sam. You said you weren't feeling well last night so you went to bed early; you've been asleep for almost a whole 24 hours. We all rushed in when we started hearing things, then we heard screaming." Steve explained with a small frown. "We've been trying to wake you up for half an hour, whatever you were dreaming about must've been nuts," Bucky said, earning a look from Steve.

"His vitals are returning to normal, FRIDAY will keep a close eye though," Vision stated. Sam now sat in his bed in deep contemplative silence. "Do you need anything?" Steve asked, setting a hand on his friend's shoulder comfortingly. Sam shook his head after a long minute "no, I think I just need to be alone for a bit to process." Steve nodded and headed for the door, Bucky following with Wanda and Clint in tow. Natasha sent him a small smile and stopped on her way out "call any one of us if you need something, anything at all." He nodded, watching her close the door behind her. He felt a lump in his throat; the best year of his life was a dream. The love of his life, his soulmate, coming back into his life was a dream. He wanted to yell, punch something, cry, rip his hair out, do something/anything to get rid of the pit he felt in his heart now. He wasn't going on without you anymore, he'd done his best to forget and suppress so you could find someone who didn't have nearly two decades on you but he couldn't anymore. He knew you were his soulmate when he first met you but he suppressed it, assuming it was misplaced affection. He knew when he and Riley shipped out for the second time that you were his soulmate because now, he wasn't fighting for the country out of respect or loyalty, he was fighting so you specifically could have a good be safe in this country. Now, he absolutely knew you and him were meant to be together, and he was going to find you. He couldn't bear the pain of knowing who his soulmate was and not having you.

[alinastracker]

hi, bonnie, my beloved!!! I don’t know if you’re still taking those college prompts but if you are, it think 21 is pretty cute <3 it’s definitely got malina vibes

ASK AND U SHALL RECEIVE MY LOVE<3 

prompt: I get stuck with a late class that doesn’t end until 9pm and I’m always anxious about walking across the campus to the dorms, so you offer to walk with me and one night, I find out that it’s in the exact opposite direction that you need to go in

it’s nice to have a friend

"And please everyone, actually read the assigned chapters for next week!" Professor Yerwei sighs as the class dismisses. "Miss Starkov can't continue to be the only one of you raising her hand."

Alina can't help her smug little smile as she packs up her things. At first, her classmates were quite happy to have someone else participating so they didn't have to. Their groans seem to indicate that won’t be working for them any longer. Pity. 

Her smile fades, however, as she takes out her pepper spray, clutching it tight in her right hand. Slinging her backpack onto her shoulders, she files out with the rest of her classmates. 

Alina loves her art history class. She's learned so much about Ravkan art throughout her years, which is fine, but this class actually focuses on the rest of the world, art from Kerch, Novyi Zem, and even Fjerda and Shu Han.

She just hates that the class is only offered at night.

It doesn't surprise her. The class itself isn't very large, mostly filled with students of mixed backgrounds like herself. But there's something cozy about the class. She feels safe there.

That is, until she steps outside and has to walk across campus to her dorm at nine in the evening. It's late September, which means the sky is nearly pitch black by the time class ends, and while the campus is fairly well lit up, there are a couple paths with burned out bulbs that need fixing, a few shadowy areas that give her cause to quicken her steps. Her roommate, Genya, has offered to make the trek just to walk with her, but she couldn't ask that of her friend. She would just have to grin and bear it.

Alina grips her pepper spray a little tighter and is about to step into the night when someone calls her name.

No, not someone. She knows the voice, even if he is new in her life. Malyen Oretsev. He sits in front of her and a little to the left, giving her the perfect angle to stare at the side of his beautiful face. Any time she's not answering questions, she's looking at Mal.

"Way to show us all up in class," he says, a teasing smile spread on his face. He moves with such ease, such surety, wearing an army style jacket that fits him in all the right places.

"Well, I can't help it you don't read the book," she teases back, momentarily forgetting her dreaded walk. She's made it three times now, but it has yet to get easier.

"Hey, who said I haven't read it? Maybe I'm just shy."

Alina laughs. "Good one, Oretsev."

He grins, and for a second, his eyes flash to where her hand rests at her side, locked around her pretty purple pepper spray. "Heading to your dorm?" When she nods, he says, "Mind if I walk with you?"

She's not sure if he's asking because he genuinely wants to walk with her or if he's just noticed how shaky she gets after class, holding her one line of defense close, but it makes her all warm inside regardless. "I'm not out of your way? I'm in Sankta Lizabeta Hall."

Mal shakes his head and drapes an arm over her like it's the most natural thing in the world, and oddly enough, it feels that way. "Not out of my way at all."

On the walk to her dorm, they talk about how refreshing it is to take a class taught by a professor from Shu Han, the plans they have for the upcoming weekend. Alina smiles the whole time, surprising herself with how at ease she feels. At some point, she stuffs her pepper spray in her coat pocket, forgetting all about it.

From that day on, Mal walks with her after class each Tuesday and Thursday night, with Alina almost always tucked under his arm. She tells herself she likes being close to him because the weather is getting colder and colder, but really, he just makes her feel safe and giddy and good.

One night in mid-October, they come out of class to a downpour. Groans pass between the two of them and the rest of their classmates as they make their way out, some of them going back inside to wait it out, others making a mad dash for their dorm or nearby car.

"Should we wait?" Alina asks.

Mal pulls out his phone and brings up a radar map. "Doesn't look like it's stopping anytime soon."

They share a look, and then, almost in unison, pull up the hoods of their coats and dash into the night, the storm swallowing the sounds of their laughter.

~

"My brother is always forgetting his things when he visits my room," Tamar is saying as she leads them up the stairs in Sankt Juris Hall. She has yet to meet Tamar's twin, Tolya, but from the pictures she's been shown, he appears to be a giant with absolutely gorgeous hair.

Once they're in her brother's dorm, she adds gentle to the front of giant, as they walk in on him in the middle of crocheting, a podcast playing from his phone.

"Ah, my book," he says, pausing his podcast and setting his work aside.

"Yes, yes, your book. Now stop leaving your shit in my dorm."

Alina laughs, and it brings Tolya's attention to her. "You must be Alina." He stands to his full height, and she has to look up to meet his eye. Saints, he seems tall enough to make two of her. 

"That's me," she says, and lets out a soft oof when Tolya wraps his large arms around her. Admittedly, his size compared to her own makes for a pretty great hug.

"Good to meet you. Tamar says you're a very talented artist. You'll have to show me some time."

She beams and nods to his abandoned yarn. "You seem to be something of an artist yourself."

Tamar groans. "Don't encourage him. I have so many scarves from over the years. Thank the Saints he's finally moved on to making things for his roommate."

"At least my roommate appreciates my work."

As the twins bicker, Alina walks further into the room. Tolya's side is neat and orderly, bed made, a basket beside it for all his crocheting, not a piece of trash in sight. The other side of the room . . . not so much.

She's seen worse, especially when it comes to boys, but the contrast is hilarious. His roommate's bed is a mess, pillows strewn and blankets hanging off like he left in a hurry. There's a few empty wrappers and water bottles on his desk, a pile of books stacked haphazardly. Then there's the heap of clothes shoved in a corner on his bed — clean or dirty yet to be determined. Her eyes linger on the pile, and she's not sure why until her eyes zero in on the hoodie on top. A very familiar hoodie.

Alina grabs it and turns to Tolya. "Do you live with Malyen Oretsev?"

Tolya pauses mid-bickering, glancing over at her. "You know Mal?"

She nods. "We have art history together."

"Oh! You must be the little friend — his words, not mine — he walks with after class. Lina. Huh, I should have put two and two together."

Alina scoffs. "Little friend?"

Tolya shrugs, and Tamar says, "I mean, he's not wrong."

She huffs, throwing the hoodie back onto Mal's bed, but says nothing, knowing she doesn't have an argument.

Just before they leave, Alina ducks her head back in and says, "Hey, Tolya? Don't tell Mal I was here."

If he finds her request odd, he doesn't show it, already going back to his crocheting. "Sure thing, little friend."

~

"So then, after doing all that catchup, they practically let Jrue steal the ball, and he runs down the court and tosses it just high enough for Giannis to dunk it in. It was incredible!"

"Uh huh."

Mal sighs. "I get it, you don't care about American basketball."

"Or American football, or our football—"

"Hey!"

"Okay, I care about your games."

"Thank you," he says, looking proud. "Anyway, you're saved."

They've reached Sankta Lizabeta Hall. Alina sighs, fiddling absently with a loose thread on her gloved hand. She’s wearing only one, because at some point today she had lost her pair, so Mal had offered up one of his — a gesture her heart has still not recovered from. She looks up at the building, then back to Mal. Admittedly, even when he rambles on about sports, she's always sad when their walk to the dorms after class comes to an end. Even though it's near freezing most nights now, their walk seems to take longer and longer. If Mal has noticed her slowing her steps lately, he hasn't said anything.

"Saved indeed," she says. But there's one more thing she has to do tonight before parting ways. "Though, I was thinking. You always walk me to my dorm, but I never do the same."

"Oh," Mal says and shrugs. "It's fine. It's not much further, no sense for you to backtrack."

Oh the irony. "I know, but still." She takes his hand, somehow warm despite the frosty air around them. Her heart skips a beat as she realizes this is the first time she's held his hand. "It's really only fair."

"Alina," Mal grumbles, and she can almost see the wheels turning in his brain, trying to figure a way out of this.

"What? It's not like you live much farther."

He groans. "It's late, and cold. You should get inside."

"What's the matter, Malyen?" She's grinning now. "You think I can't survive another minute or so out here? It's not like you reside in, oh I don't know, Sankt Juris Hall or something far like that."

She sees on his face the moment it clicks. Mal curses under his breath and asks, "How did you find out?"

"Tamar took me to meet her brother, and I just so happened to notice some very familiar clothes on a very messy bed. You're not quite as tidy as your roommate, Malyen."

"If you say my full name one more time, I'm going to bury myself into the ground."

Alina laughs and it’s just a little maniacal. "So what gives, Malyen? Juris Hall is like, a minute from class." Her own was around ten, longer if the sidewalks were icy or they took their time.

Mal's eyes turn downcast, and he kicks the pole of a streetlight. "I don't know. You just looked so uncomfortable leaving class each night, holding your pepper spray like your life depended on it, and I just — I didn't want you to be alone." He shakes his head. "I'm sorry, it probably sounds weird and creepy and everything you're trying to avoid."

Her heart is thumping so loud she's afraid he might hear it. But he's still not even looking at her. "Mal," she says softly, and finally he looks up. "That's the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me."

He's unsure for a breath longer — the first time, she realizes, that she's seen him be anything but certain — before finally, he smiles. Shyly. "Really?"

She nods. "It’s ridiculously kind of you, especially since you barely knew me then. But I’m okay, really. I don’t want you to keep going so out of your way for me.” 

Mal pauses, shuffling on his feet, and she can tell he’s choosing his words carefully. “And if I said I wasn’t only doing it for you?” At her frown, he adds, “If I told you these walks are the best part of my week?”

She’s momentarily speechless as her brain scrambles for something to say, so she ends up blurting out, “Football practice is the best part of your week.”

His smile is sly as he says, “Football is the second best part of my week.”

“Oh, well.” Saints, she wants to jump his bones. She’s wanted to since the first time she laid eyes on him. But she hesitates still, needing to be sure before she can let herself leap. “Certainly there’s better places and times to go for a walk.”

Mal shakes his head, and there’s amusement in his tone. “Come on, Alina, are you really going to make me spell it out for you? It’s not the walk, it’s the company.”

“The company,” she echoes in a small, but pleased, voice. Her dark eyes are sparkling with something giddy — like she’s fifteen again, tripping over a smile from her crush.

He just shrugs as if to say, take it or leave it, and she knows her answer. 

Alina grins and shrugs in return. “Well, then I guess you can keep accompanying me.”

He snorts. “Oh, you guess, huh?” Mal suddenly drops dramatically to one knee, and in that moment she can see his confidence has returned, the easy way he moves, like he’s singing his favorite song and knows every word, every beat. “How generous of you, oh honorable Alina Starkov, for granting me the privilege of walking on the same pavement your very feet grace!”

Alina’s laughing, she’s been laughing for the whole speech, but now she crosses the distance between them and tugs on his arm until he stands. “You’re the worst,” she says, and before she loses her nerve, she kisses him. She can tell he’s surprised, but he recovers fast. His arms wrap around her waist, tugging her closer. One of her hands is on his red scarf — one of Tolya’s making, she knows now — while the other dares to run through his hair, a fantasy she’s had all semester. Suddenly it’s not so cold out anymore.

They pull away breathless, sharing careful, sheepish smiles of two people exploring something new; something exciting, but fragile. 

“I think we’ll have to find a new excuse to hang out once class ends in a couple weeks,” Alina says, looking up at him through her lashes, cheeks flushed. 

“Agreed. Maybe something involving food, or drinks.” He pauses, then very delicately brushes his thumb over her bottom lip. It’s somehow more intimate than the actual kiss. “Maybe more of this.” 

She bites down on the spot his thumb had just been. “Definitely more of this.”

Mal smiles, and this time, he’s the one to initiate the kiss, the one to tangle his fingers in her hair. They kiss until they’re dizzy and frozen — on the outside, anyway. On the inside, she’s all heat. They say their typical goodnights, but this time, they part with the promise of so much more than walking on the horizon. 

[imomomi]

Word Count: 4,007

Warnings: Spoilers for the Nationals Arc

April 2012

          It was Osamu who convinced her to become their manager. A whole year of begging and bringing her food, had softened her and now Y/N found herself sheepishly leaving her classroom with Osamu and Atsumu gripping each shoulder. Afraid that she would run away, they’d come to escort her to Gym B where the rest of the volleyball team was waiting in anticipation of their new manager. Personally, she wanted to beat the twins over the head with her bag, but every time she’d fought with them Aran somehow found out and would yell at them for hours.

           “You know if you two were nicer, maybe there’d be more girls interested in doing this,” muttered Y/N. The urge to dig her feet into the ground and refuse to move grew stronger the closer they got. Atsumu and Osamu shared a grin over her shoulders.

           Atsumu ducked and grabbed her knees while Osamu wrapped an arm around her torso holding her up. Y/N shrieked and kicked at the laughing blonde. Her bag slipped from her shoulder, only to be caught by Osamu who nearly dropped her while catching it. A bright burst of anger filled her beat only by the sudden urge to laugh as they hurried past their perplexed schoolmates.

           “I’m wearing a skirt, you idiot. Let go,” she shouted, pulling the hem down as far as it would go. Atsumu swung her legs wildly, laughing again as she screamed.

           “Nah-uh, Y/N-chan, you’ll run away,” grinned Atsumu widely.

           “I’ll kill you both.”

           “Big words for someone at our mercy,” said Osamu, jerking his arms to the side.

           “What are you two doing,” Aran asked in horror as they arrived. Y/N hung limply between the two brothers only to be dropped as the twins straightened up. Groaning, she rolled over, pressing her hands to her flushed cheeks.

           “L/N, you alright?”

           “Just kill me now,” said Y/N burying her face into her hands. The team shared matching grins, but dropped them as a boy with silver hair, the ends dipped in black, quietly asked them to move.

           “You two shouldn’t rough-house with a girl like that,” said the boy. He walked forward, kneeling down before her and offered her a handkerchief. Y/N took it gingerly, wondering what she was supposed to do it with. Her clothes were covered in dirt and her face was probably smeared with it as well. Atsumu glanced down, meeting her eye. His shoulders shook dangerously even as he met Aran’s gaze again.

           “I’m Kita Shinsuke. I apologize on the twin’s behalf.”

           “Don’t worry. I’ll get them back,” promised Y/N. Her eyes glittered with a hint of danger.

           “Seeking revenge will only cause you pain,” Kita scolded, “Accept their apology and let them learn from it.”

           Osamu twitched, hand flying to his mouth to choke back his laugh as Y/N’s eyes widened. Why was she getting scolded when the twins were the ones who had been misbehaving?

           “You alright?” Aran asked, hands pressed tightly on her shoulders as he looked over her for any injuries. “Thought I told you to stop messing around with the twins.”

           “They kidnapped me, Ojiro-senpai.”

           “Don’t pulled the senpai card. It doesn’t work on me,” said Aran, but his lips twitched into a reluctant smile despite his words. He offered her hand which she eagerly took.

           “This is L/N Y/N,” Aran said. “Somehow Dumb and Dumber convinced her to be our manager, so try not to act like you usually do.”

           “She’ll eat you for breakfast if you do. Like Kaonashi,” said Atsumu. Y/N rolled her eyes, pulling her skirt straight and attempting to fix her wrinkled blouse. Aran’s fingers brushed the top of her head, smoothing down locks of hair that had escaped her braid.

           “Don’t listen to them. They barely managed to learn how read, let alone play volleyball,” she said.  Aran laughed behind her, the sound low and rumbling like the purr of a cat. It warmed her to her bones and a hint of a flush entered her cheeks, reminding her once more why she had been avoiding being manager in the first place.

June 21, 2012: 15:21

           Kibasen was the stupidest thing they could get caught playing. Y/N knew she shouldn’t have listened when they first suggested it, but somehow, she ended up sitting on top of Suna’s shoulders while Osamu sat on top of Atsumu’s. The twins were still fighting over the fact that Osamu was on top, while Y/N attempted to tie the bandana around her head as tightly as possibly.

           “Don’t let me fall,” said Y/N to Suna. He tilted his head back slightly and sighed loudly.

           “Whatever,” he said.

           “Oi, Y/N prepare to lose.”

           “I thought horses couldn’t talk,” she said. Osamu howled in laughter, nearly toppling over had Atsumu not been holding him so tightly.

           Osamu came in hard, pulling and tugging at her hair to get the bandana off. He barely filched as her fingers dug into his forearms and attempted to shake him off. They’re wobbling all over the place, spurred on by the cheers of the first and second years.

           “Come on, give up,” whined Osamu.

           “Ugh, my scalp is literally gonna fall off, you bastard. Stop it,” she shouted back.

           Her finger got right under the bandana, ready to pull it off, when the gym door flew open. The look of complete bewilderment on Aran’s face was almost worth the scolding they would get from Kita.

           “Do I need to get a babysitter for all of you?” Aran asked. She laughed, clutching Suna’s hair for dear life when he jerked forward in an attempt to throw her off.

           “If I say it’s not what it looks like, would you believe me?” she asked. Aran shook his head and sighed in the same breath. She clambered off Suna, ducking beneath Kita’s cold stare.

           “Why do I always find you in some sort of trouble?” Aran muttered. He helped her down, shooing Suna in Kita’s direction. Y/N smiled up at him, hoping he wouldn’t notice how sweaty she was.

           “I’m trying to make your life interesting, senpai.”

           “Try a little less,” he said. The warm grin he gave her sent a jolt right through her spine, “And stop calling me senpai. It’s creepy coming from you.”

           “Yes, Aran-san,” she said. He groaned, dropping his head into the palm of his hands for a moment. She took slight pleasure in his annoyance, wondering how far she could push his buttons. Watching Aran yell at the twins was an experience in its own, but he was unknowingly funny when he was trying to prove his point. Once, she had claimed that the US hadn’t landed on the moon, just to watch him try and disprove her every argument.

           “Oi, do you have to be so….”

           “So what? Cute? Pretty? Adorable? Sma-“

           “Annoying.”

           “Ouch, that almost hurt.”

           “I doubt it.

           “Well, all that exercise made me hungry. Buy me food.”

           “Don’t you have parents? Ask them.”

           “Be a good senpai, Aran.”

           “No. Go away.”

           “Aran, I want food…. noodles and goyza. Or rice? BBQ? Chicken? I can’t choose,” she muttered under her breath.

           “Just ten minutes of peace, that’s all I want.”

June 21, 2012 18: 55

           “Ohhhh,” said Osamu. He leaned in close enough that she could smell a hint of mint on his breath and flicked her on the forehead. “Someone has a crush.”

           “Shut up,” she hissed, grabbing his sleeve as she looked around. Osamu laughed, throwing an arm over her shoulder. She wished suddenly that she could be like him or Atsumu. The twins never worried about right or wrong. They were creatures of pure passion, throwing themselves forward without a care of the consequences. But, Y/N was too proud to declare that she was envious of their attitudes. Her caution was often mocked, but it had helped her more times than not.

           “Just tell him,” Osamu shrugged. She closed her eyes, pressing away the storm of thoughts raging in her mind.

           She nursed the small flame of affection. Aran didn’t need to know. No one did. She pulled away from Osamu. A frown entering his brow, as if he were annoyed or confused at her lack of an answer. He let her drift off further ahead, hands twisting and untwisting before her. They were still young, years down the line they might resent each other for whatever relationship they had. She didn’t want that.  

           A tense silence settled in her body, the sort of silence that comes before a clap of thunder. If the choice lay between having Aran and losing him, she’d always—without a doubt in her mind—pick having him in her life. Aran and her might never be more than friends and she was okay with that. Besides, she’d never loved anyone in her life and doubted that she loved Aran. She was simply drawn to the brightness that surrounded him like a moth pressing closer to a lone lantern.

She paused, waiting for Osamu to catch up.

           “What?” he asked.

           “What do you mean what?”

           “You look crazy. It’s making me nervous.”

           “Shut up,” she muttered. They were approaching the end of the block and the familiar scent of food rose in the air, chicken, and the slight char of BBQ from the restaurants lined up and down the street. She and Osamu exchanged matching grins. Her parents would yell at her later for wasting money on food when they had some at home, but her and Osamu were too far gone to care about such things.

           August 26, 2012

          Summer vacation with the team meant taking a bonding trip out to Tokimeki. It also meant snapping at the various gawking idiots who muttered under their breath about foreigners. Snapping did nothing stop the stares coming from people who were used to seeing their own face reflected in everyone around them.

           If they felt or saw her annoyance growing, no one said anything about it, sharing the same tenseness that she did. Only Kita had a sense of calm about him as they switched trains. Y/N moved closer to Aran shoving herself between the twins. He glanced at her out of the corner of his eye before he reached over and took her bag from her, tossing it at one of the twins.

           “What did you pack? That was heavy,” he asked with a frown. Y/N looked up glad to have a distraction. It was odd seeing everyone not in uniforms. The Pokémon t-shirt he wore was slightly faded from constant wear. She wondered if it was his favorite or if someone had gifted it to him and he’d taken to wearing it often.

           “Clothes, snacks, and my manga collection.”

           “I’m stealing some of that.”

           “I don’t think my shirts will fit you, Aran.”

           “You’re the worse person I’ve ever met in my life.”

           “Wow, save that passion for the be-“Aran put his hand over her mouth, muffling the rest of her words as a small child gazed at them with curiosity. He laughed awkwardly as Kita turned towards them with a raised brow. Her tongue darted out from behind her lips and licked the palm of his hand. Aran didn’t even flinch and gave her a warning glance.

            “Promise not to say anything inappropriate.”

           She nodded and the moment he let go uttered the word bedroom as loudly as she could.

        August 29, 2012

          The beach was as horrible as she imagined. Suna refused to give up any space beneath the umbrella, stating that if he got a sunburn he couldn’t play. She was stuck sweating beneath the hot sun, wondering if the water was as cold as everyone said it was.

           “I miss spring,” she muttered, pulling her hair up. The back of her neck was slick with sweat and she felt her annoyance with the world grow with every passing second.

           “Let’s go get ice-cream,” Aran suggested. He threw her a look of pity, holding his hand out for her. Y/N took it eagerly, ignoring the snickers coming off the twins.

           “It’s not that hot,” Aran said with a laugh.

           “I know that, but something about the heat just shortens my temper,” answered Y/N. Aran shook his head and laughed.

           “Really? You with a short temper?” he asked. She winced, thinking of all those times she’d been caught by him fighting with the twins.

           “It’s not that short,” she muttered, instantly glaring at the sand that wavered from the heat.

           “At least I have backup for the twins now. I swear I saw Kita’s eye twitch last week,” he said with a laugh.

          They walked along the shore in comfortable silence, Aran’s height shielding her slightly from the sun. The cool summer breeze and icy water are enough to calm her down slightly. Her nerves came racing back, twisting dangerously in her gut. Even as they reached the ice-cream stand—how did Aran know her favorite—Y/N’s words repeatedly failed her. Part of her was afraid to break the peaceful quiet they had settled in. She liked that they didn’t need words between them. But another part ached to say something, anything to get rid of the constant anxiety that cropped up when she was alone with him. Did he know she had a crush on him? Sometimes she thought he did, and the fear of rejection circled through her like vultures over a carcass.

          “You know,” Aran said, glancing at her from the corner of his eye, “When we first met, I honestly thought you were insane.”

          “What?”

          “You were just so loud; it was a bit scary.”

          “I’m loud because people are dumb. Especially adults.”

          “I know, but you looked crazy as a kid, screaming like a maniac at everyone…but, I’m glad you never grew out of it.”

          “I had a giant crush on you,” she admitted. Aran choked on his ice-cream, coughing roughly as her faced her head on. His eyebrows rose high as he searched for a response but failed to find one.

          “It was during that training camp. I came to show Atsumu how cool the bandage looked on my arm and he kept making fun of me for falling in the first place and then you told him to stop because he’d hit the net face first. That was the highlight of my year,” said Y/N.

          “Wh..what? Why? For how long?”

          “Should I tell you?” she teased and stopped walking, “I was probably insane back then.”

          “Yes! You can’t just tell someone something like that and not explain. It’s human decency,” said Aran, waving his ice-cream about. She watched as it fell from the cone towards the ground with a splat. Her laugh, high pitched and louder than most, sounded in the air. Aran sighed, grumbling about how he needed a new team and should have stayed home. Y/N felt lighter then she had in a while.

October 19, 2012

          With a flick of his wrist, he tapped the ball over the net between the blockers that had lined up in front of Aran and Suna. With a smirk, Atsumu landed back on his feet, winking at a fuming Uchida. If he hissed anymore, Atsumu would mistake her for a snake.

          “You didn’t think I’d let you scare me, did you, Uchida-chan?” he mocked. Aran clapped him on the back. One more and the match would be over.

          “You’re such a bastard,” Uchida muttered across the net. Aran smiled, a cutting grin that lacked any of his usual calm. Aran wanted to retort that being bastards was what made them win games but felt that it was a bit cruel for a team about to lose their chance to go to Nationals.

          “Keep that to yourself,” Aran said, pulling a fuming Atsumu away from the net. “Don’t bother with them. Just win.”

          “Hey, I’m not dumb. I know that.”

          “Just serve and watch out for my head,” said Aran. He glanced to the side once where Y/N was pacing as she watched the game. He was surprised to find that she was dealing with the stress well. During their very first match, she had promptly vomited all over Kita on the bus ride over to the gym. If anyone doubted Kita’s status as a saint, it was reaffirmed as he calmly cleaned up the mess and pulled out medicine that he bought in anticipation of someone puking.

          She sent him a thumbs up once she noticed his gaze. Her smile came out more like a grimace and the green tint to her face worried him slightly. He wondered how it was possible for someone to be so confident everywhere else and turn into a nervous wreck at the thought of losing a game.

          At the sound of the whistle, Atsumu tossed the ball in the air. Silence followed his steps. The lack of spin made it easy to hit and as he landed back, he watched as the ball swerved in the air, towards the back line. Sato got a hand on it, but the ball veered left towards the crowd. There was a scramble, Uchida and Midori jumping over one another to try and reach it. The ball hit the ground with a resounding thud, echoed by the loud trill of horns as Inarizaki’s band started back up.

          “YES!” Akagi shouted, turning around and jumping on top of him. Atsumu caught him, only to stumble as Osamu and Ginjima latched onto him.

          They were going to Nationals. His last one. Something hot and heavy burned its way through his body. They would win, Aran thought. He didn’t care how. He didn’t who they went against. Inarizaki would emerge as the champions. Like the throbbing beat of a drum, it echoed through their minds as they turned to each other. One by one, little by little, they would topple the other teams.

December 24, 2012

          Aran wasn’t sure how he’d gotten dragged out of the house on Christmas Eve, but Y/N has somehow ushered him into his jacket and tossed a greeting to his mother in the same breath before he’d gotten kidnapped. Snow fell in small light flurries around them. The smell of chestnuts and roasted yams filled the air. He tried not to think about all the couples around them, celebrating the holiday together. His Christmas’s at home might be more American thanks to his mother, but he’d grown up here where Christmas Eve was Valentine’s day 2.0.

           Y/N didn’t seem to notice or care. She rarely did, even if it sometimes embarrassed him how oblivious she was to the fact that people thought they were a couple when they hung out. He’d tried to get her out of his mind, but it seemed impossible when she was there all the time.

           “Look the Christmas Tree,” she said, racing forward to look at the extravagant light display in the middle of the square. He bit back a smile at the accent marring the word Christmas. Growing up in a half-American, half-Japanese household had given him an advantage over his class when it came to English. He was always quick to point it out when his teammates or Y/N attempted to show off their skills in the language.

           “Slow down,” he called out. She looked back, realizing that he hadn’t followed her and waited patiently.

           “You’re the athlete, move it.”

           “The tree isn’t going anywhere. It’s nice out, let’s just enjoy it.”

           “Ahh, but then we will be late for dinner.”

           “Dinner? Y/N, what the hell? Why didn’t you tell me before we left?”

           “I was afraid you would say no,” she said, softly. She gazed away from him, leaving him surprised by the low slope of her shoulders and the slight flush on her face. He sighed, tugging her hand out of her pocket and laced their fingers together. Her hand was smaller and smoother than his, but the feeling of her warm palm against his felt right. He swallowed hard and looked away from her bright eyes.

           He wanted to tell her that he wouldn’t ever tell her no, but the words were stuck in his throat. He settled for holding onto her hand for as long as she’d let him. Eventually, the weight of her hand in his fades away and hours later, when they’ve walked in circles, snacking on food from each of the market stalls, carrying small gifts between them, does he realize that they’d never even made it to the restaurant.

January 6th, 2012

          “You’re crying,” Kita said. He was gazing at her as if he’d never really seen her before. Y/N shook it off, wiping her tears off with the back of her palm. She felt like a fool, crying like a child over the loss of a game. For Atsumu and Osamu there was always next year, but for the third years, this had been their last chance. Seeing how hard they fought, to the very end of the match, left a dull ache in her heart. It wasn’t fair, she thought. To have gone so far at Inter-High and be out in their first match at Nationals. In that moment, she hated their stupid logo. Why shouldn’t they have memories? Kita and the rest wouldn’t disappear after this year, they deserved to be remembered.

          “Sorry,” she muttered. Kita reached into his jacket pocket and silently handed her a handkerchief. She had the unexplainable urge to hug him.

          “There isn’t any reason to apologize, L/N-san. I understand how you are feeling. If I could ask for more time together as a team, I would,” he smiled, softly. Y/N’s breath stuttered, stunned because she doubted, she'd ever seen him smile, “But we played a good match, don’t you think so?”

          “The best,” she swore.

          “Then save your tears for something more important. We have no regrets, so you shouldn’t be upset.” Kita stared at her for a moment longer, before nodding his head towards Aran. “You should tell him, L/N-chan. I think right now, he would be happy to hear it.”

           It’s the push that Y/N needed. A bought of bravery or stupidity or both fill her. Y/N had hidden behind her own fears for so long, she had begun to think it was normal. But she’d never been the type to hold back.

           “Ojiro Aran,” Y/N said, forcefully. Aran looked away from Suna, grimacing as he caught sight of her swollen eyes.

           “Hey, they’ll win next time,” he said. Y/N shook her head, scoffing at his foolishness in the moment.

           “I like you. I’ve like you ever since we first met and it’s okay if you don’t like me. I just wanted you to know and well, I’m sorry that you lost, but you’ll be a good playe-“

           She was cut off by his hand on her mouth.

           “I’m supposed to say it frist,” he said. He pulled his hand away only to cup her cheek gently. She leaned into the touch, afraid that if she moved, it would all turn into a dream. He moved closer, closing the gap between them. She kissed his jaw, dragging her lips to meet his. His lips, hot and sweet, taste of the honeyed lemons he had earlier. Aran swelled beneath her touch, like the first bloom of spring. He pulled her flush against him, the movement full of longing. She could smell nothing but him, the sharp sent of fire, the warmth of the earth.

           Y/N does not know how long they are there. She drank him in, each sweetened breath, each movement of his lips. She thought, that this is the closest to happy she has been.

           The moment was broken by Atsumu whistling sharply as he clapped the two of them on the back. Aran immediately pulled away, retorting sharply that he shouldn’t make a scene after he’d lost the game.

           Y/N sighed, resigning herself to her fate. Despite all her complaints, she wouldn’t trade this team for the world. A glance at Kita told her that he wouldn’t either.

General Taglist: @haikyuuopalite​ @raenebalgaire​

[wulfies-kpop-fanfics]

One Photo → Mark Lee [5]

↳  Pairing: Mark Lee/Reader

↳  AU: Soulmate!AU - The first touch of two soulmates permanently scars their bodies.

↳  Warning: Smut, loss of virginity, unprotected sex

↳  Word count: 6,964

↳  Chapters: Prelude | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | You Are Here! | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9

⁙ Summary: For an end of the year photography project, you’re tasked with taking a photograph for your favourite group, NCT127, and coincidentally, discover your soulmate.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

FRIDAY - 5 - Part 1

The covers that enveloped you were warm and soft, keeping you nearly trapped under the weight of a thick duvet. Time ticked by slowly as you found the most comfortable position in bed. 

Mark's body was pressed taut against you, and you could feel nearly every inch of him attached to your backside. His arm was draped over you, his hand casually coming to rest over your tummy, only he had put in the lazy effort of slipping it underneath your nightshirt. 

Even when Mark is asleep he's driving you crazy. You doubt he's even noticed that your skin is twitching under his touch, the comfort and warmth of blankets making every feeling warmer and sensitive. You feel his steady breath tickling the back of your neck, his pelvis pressed against your ass, and you let out a whimper when he adjusts himself. 

"(Y/N)?" Mark's voice is groggy and filled with sleep. He grips your hip gently, fingers sliding over the flesh of your side. "Are you okay?" 

"What would you do if I told you no?" You ask sheepishly, turning around in bed so you were facing him. The darkness of your room left a lot to the imagination, but you could still slightly make out his twinkling eyes. Again, you felt like he was staring straight at your soul. 

"Then I'd ask why you're not okay," he says, and you can tell he's smiling at you. His hands are beginning to wander up your body, from your hip to your waist.

"You, silly. I can't get you out of my head. Everything you do sets my heart on fire - I can't sleep or study, I-" another whimper escapes you when you feel his index finger gently flick your nipple.

"You do the same to me," he admits. "I can barely keep my hands off you. You're intoxicating…" his hand slides away from your breast, running down your arm to grasp your hand. "Here," he guides you down to tuck your hand underneath the pant line of his sweats, his member hard and hot. You circled your hand around it and Mark sighed in relief.

You suck in a sharp breath. "Mark," 

"Don't talk," he commanded lowly. "Just kiss me, please," 

Through the darkness, your lips met in a wet kiss. His hips thrust into your hand, causing him to groan and separate from the kiss so he could rest his forehead against yours. 

"Good," he groaned, closing his eyes tightly and licking his lips. "Fuck, grip it harder." 

As soon as you comply and tighten your grip on his cock, he moans again and began thrusting harder into your hand. Hearing and feeling all of this nearly floods your underwear, and you wished that he was fucking you instead of your hand. 

Mark kisses you again, desperate. You can feel the puffs of him breathing through his nose on your face, and you can barely keep yourself sane.

"Mark-" his voice rolls off your tongue once you manage to break his kiss, as if you were begging, and he barely slows down. He tightly holds your shoulder, and you think it might bruise. 

"Y-yeah?" 

"Please," you really feel like you're begging now. 

(Y/N)!

That wasn't Mark's voice. 

"(Y/N)! (Y/N)! (Y/N)! (Y/N)!" 

Groaning, you begin to open your eyes. The room isn't quite bright yet, and suddenly you feel a great weight on your abdomen. 

"Mark?" You ask dumbly, the figure shaking you awake not quite clear enough for you to see. 

"No, it's me!" 

One you realize you can move your arms, you bring your hands up to rub your eyes. Your vision clears up and you realize Rhiannon is sitting on top of you, looking down on you with a giant grin on her face. Her hands are gripping your shoulders tightly, enough that you wince.

"Rhiannon, what the hell?" You ask, barely reaching your glasses that were perched on your desk. You slip them on and even further notice that she is shirtless. "You woke me up. Put a shirt on."

"I know, dummy!" She exclaims. "Look!" She shoves her chest further into your face until you see it. Puffy scar marks in the shape of hands on her shoulders. 

"You have-" 

"Donghyuck is my soulmate!" 

You’re too tired for this, and coming out of a dream that surely will not leave your brain. “Rhiannon, I’m happy for you, but can you please get off me?” Raising an eyebrow, Rhiannon lifts herself from your body and sits on the edge of your bed. She’s still grinning like a maniac, tracing the scars. “My hand marks are going to be on his chest,” she reminds you, tapping her feet excitedly on the floor. “I’m gonna rip off his shirt tonight so I can look at them. And do other things. As you do.” 

Groaning, you peel the covers off yourself. “Jesus, TMI,” you say, rubbing your eyes. “You’re way too excited about this.” Rhiannon scoffed. “You’re not excited enough! We’re soulmates with two members of NCT! How amazing is that?! All the fanfictions in the world could never have actually prepared me for this! What should I wear?” You’re soon enough drowning out her hushed ramblings on if she should try looking for a new dress at Forever 21. “I’m happy for you, Rhi, but you should really stop worrying so much. Didn’t you have an outfit planned out a month ago?” You ask, standing up and moving out of your room to start the day, Rhiannon following close behind.

“Yes,” she replied immediately, watching you dig through your clean clothes for the outfit you set aside for the day. “But now that I know I’m Donghyuck’s soulmate, I think I should wear something better.” “We’re going to an NCT concert, dude. NOT wearing neon green is gonna make you look just plain weird. Just go with what you picked out.”

Rhiannon sighed, conceding with a dejected nod. “I just don’t know if he’ll like it or not.” You smile, finally pulling out your own neon green tank top and blue shortalls. “He’ll love it, stop worrying.” You pull on your own outfit, adding a handmade hairband with the word 마크 written in little neon felt letters atop it. "How do I look?" 

"Stunning, as usual," Rhiannon replies, smiling. "I'm gonna go get changed. See you at the venue." Rhiannon disappears into her bedroom as you grab your backpack and a granola bar, heading out to the last class of the week.

Let's hope I don't trip and ruin my clothes…

Friday. Two days left to submit your final for evaluation, but if you were to get the grade you wanted, you decided to submit it at the end of class. From your locker, you pulled out your finished portfolio, a playfully decorated photo book covered in stickers and polaroid photos. All that was left was your mini-essay.

You arrived into class and greeted Moose warmly, quickly letting her get back to her own project that she was finishing up. Once you sit down at your computer, you read through your document that you had been working on whenever you weren’t with Mark.                                       - Final Portfolio and Bonus Objective - 

                                                  Love in Photographs

                                                          (Y/N) (L/N)

                                                         Ms. Prentice

                                                     Photography 203

In this essay, I will address the personal effects of photography and how, in the second and final year of my program, my entire life has changed within a week’s time. In this final, my photos will reflect on why I chose to use the concert program as my focus. 

Photography is, to me, an incredibly emotional profession. From weddings to sprawling landscapes, a photo will mean something to someone. It means a beautiful memory that will last forever, the progression of nature and our planet, or solid evidence of a crime that could provide closure to a mourning family. 

Photography can also have an impact during the social interaction of business. It didn’t occur to me for nearly two years that I’ve spent studying the profession. When I signed up for the concert program, I was just a fan of the group I happened to see a flyer for. NCT is a K-Pop group currently touring in North America and the group that hired me for the program. 

It was my emotional connection to them that made me want to take the job. It was thrilling to think about working for them as my first clients, even if it was a co-op program. I wanted to meet them, talk with them, learn what they wanted and do my best to make it a reality. The program was always going to be an emotional experience for me, but I truly learned about how photography was an emotional two-way street after I met Mark Lee in person.

After this week, I truly believe that everybody winds up getting the jobs they’re supposed to get.

Mark Lee is the main subject of my portfolio and a member of NCT. He was the person I spent the most time with, and considering the specifications of NCT’s commission, he was the person I worked with the most. While NCT specifically asked for one singular photo, Mark was insistent on spending time with me, letting me take photos of him for my project. The day after meeting him, my scars appeared. Mark Lee was my soulmate, something that I never thought I’d find - and would never have looked for intentionally. 

The connection we formed was stronger than any other emotional bond I’ve had throughout my life, and from that moment on, every photo I took was a passion project. Sealing my soulmate in the immortality of a photo was exhilarating. Something I could keep close while he was away. It made me think of future clients, an image was clear in my head of someone asking me for the same thing. Something to see and remember even if the subject of that photo was too far away to touch.

In the past, I had been sceptical of having a soulmate of my own, but I knew I had to dampen my prejudice for the sake of future clients, especially those looking to hire me for their wedding photos. In wedding ceremonies, I would be photographing soulmates that could be naked for all I knew. Soulmate marks could appear anywhere, after all. Still, my worldview made me reluctant to think about that branch of career. I told myself I would only photograph wildlife or do fully clothed modelling, even if that decision cut my clientele in half. Until Mark Lee.

In this portfolio, you can see Mark on various outings with me and the rest of NCT, or just posing for the sake of a ‘cool picture with the subway in the background’. Photographs don’t need to have a purpose as a photograph holds meaning no matter what the subject is. For me, the photos in this final represent letting go of my fears and finding love, humbling myself and seeing that I can branch out and do more than I planned. Instead of seeking grandeur, I want to take photos of anything someone might find the smallest amount of happiness in. A smile, a flower, a kiss. Even if someone is worried about asking for something that may seem trivial, I want to assure them that if it means something to them, it means something to me, too.

Any photo here of Mark Lee, or even the one photo I took of NCT, to me, is a symbol of love. To make new friends and experience a culture different from mine, to see their dreams become a reality in front of me. If this final project before I graduate is the gate to my own dream coming true, these photos will definitely represent my passion. To see more than just myself. To see others and the love they share for anything this world has to offer. 

Originally, the portfolio I was going to create was going to be just one photo from the program, but in the end, over half of what is included was from the past week. An emotional connection to the world and everything in it is every bit important in the world of photography as skills with a camera. Both of which I hope to carry into the world with me as my career truly begins.

Satisfied, you saved your work and went through it once more with Grammarly to make sure you hadn’t let any mistakes slip past. Your heart beats rapidly in your chest as you send the document to the classroom printer, knowing that once you tape your essay inside of your portfolio project, it was time to submit early and wait for your teacher’s sign of approval on your graduation form. After submitting your papers into the printer, you make your way to the classroom’s printer and log in to your account, selecting the pages you’ve sent to it. Now it was time to wait. Your phone buzzes, and you pull it out to read a text. Mark: How’s class?

You: I’m almost done my paper 

You: Gonna submit it and then I can leave early

Mark: Sweet see you soon?

You: Yeah, see you soon

Mark: I can’t wait, I had a strange dream last night

Before you can reply, your paper finishes printing. Deciding to answer his text later, you return to your desk and finish up your final. You quickly flip through the book to make everything is secured, and with a deep breath, you stand. Ms Prentice is smiling at you from her desk, beckoning you over once she realizes you have your portfolio in hand. 

“Glad to see my top student is still consistent,” she said in a sing-song voice, taking the portfolio from you as soon as you reach her desk. “Are you sure you don’t want to take the weekend to add more? I heard the concert you’re attending is today.”

You shake your head. “No, ma’am. I completed the task I was hired for, so any photos I take at the concert won’t have an impact on the messages I want to convey.” 

She smiles at you. “I look forward to looking through it, then. You’re dismissed if you have nothing else to complete here.” “Nothing else unless you have a task for me,” you answer, smiling down at her.

Ms Prentice shakes her head, still smiling. “Go ahead, enjoy the rest of your day. Say hello to Mark for me. He’s quite the polite young man.” Blushing, you nod. “Okay, I will.” 

As soon as you stepped outside the classroom, you breathed a deep sigh of relief. All of your finals were completed and after the final week of classes, you would prepare to graduate at the end of June. 

After making a quick stop to the arts building to pick up a photo frame, you put on some music and headed out to the streetcars. It was still quite early in the morning, so you had a place to sit down during your trip to the venue. You noticed you still hadn't answered Mark's text, you decide to do so while you waited. 

You: sorry, was submitting my final - prof says hello

You: I'm on my way now

You: What do you mean by strange dream?

It didn't take Mark long to reply. 

Mark: travel safe

Mark: Well it's a little embarrassing to explain kinda 

You: I had a dream too last night with you in it 

Mark: what happened in it 

You: you stayed with me last night and you slept in my bed 

Mark: and that's it?

You: hell no >\\\> 

Mark: I think we had the same dream

You: how did it end?

Mark: well, uh, you know…

You: mine ended with rhiannon waking me up so I think mine got cut off 

Mark: oh 

Well I think you can infer what ended up happening 

You: aaaaaaaaaaa 

Mark: I just wish I could have stayed 

You: I wish too but I'll be there soon 

Mark: I'll meet you at the station

You: arent you worried about fans swarming you

Mark: nah it's too early for any fans to be showing up since everything is seated there is no reason to camp out 

You: okay as long as you're sure 

You: Thank you

Mark: of course <3 

You: I'm really nervous 

You: That dream I had felt really real 

Mark: it did for me too 

You put your phone down and licked your lips. If anything, you would have loved to live out that dream. Go all the way. It made your body ache thinking about it, but it also made you nervous to think about sneaking around the others if you suggested it to Mark. 

You arrived at your stop, a little surprised the place was mostly empty save for Mark sitting inside one of the bus shelters. As soon as he saw the streetcar pull up, he stood to wait for you by the curb. 

Mark was still dressed in casual clothes, jeans and a black t-shirt with a pair of yellow converse. That probably meant they hadn't started getting ready for performances yet - which was reasonable considering it wasn't even midday.

Mark smiles when he spots you through the window, waving at you as you exited. Without a word you approached him and trapped him in a tight hug.

"Woah," he whispered, wrapping his arms around you. "Are you okay?" 

"Yeah," you reply into his chest, voice muffled. "I just missed you." 

Mark kissed the top of your head, "I missed you too." Gently holding your shoulders he separated from the hug. "Come on, let's go inside." He takes your hand and squeezes it gently, smiling down at you with a blush consuming his cheeks. 

Mark leads you across the street and toward the venue, enjoying a comfortable silence blanketed under the warm summer sun. Just as you reach the maintenance doors, he pauses. "Oh, I almost forgot. Here, you'll need this." Mark reaches into his pocket and pulls out a crumpled up lanyard. On the end of it was a laminated card that had the Neo City cover photo inside with "Backstage Pass" written on the bottom.

"Oh, thank you. I almost forgot about these." You let him put the lanyard around your neck, smoothing it out gently. He smiles and nods approvingly, then continues leading you inside. 

There are people milling about, hauling things into the stadium from trucks. You don't have to explicitly show your lanyard, you assume, because you're with Mark, but workers are still cautiously watching you as you pass by. 

Once you two enter the arena, you notice that you're close to the back section, where you originally bought tickets for. You spot everyone lounging around the stage that looked like it was just finished being put up. Rhiannon is there as well, sitting with Donghyuck and Jungwoo.

The arena itself was smaller than the largest one you've been to for another concert the year before, but it was still impressive. You take a quick look around, noticing the different sections and the VIP rooms that were attached to the ceiling. This place was originally for hockey, after all.

"Hey, guys!" Mark calls into the stadium. Everyone perks up from their conversation and wave at you, prompting you to wave back sheepishly. "Do you want to go see them, or?" Mark held your hand tightly, speaking softly. 

"What do you mean?" You look at him, eyebrows furrowed in curiosity.

"You know… what we talked about. Make time?" There's something in Mark's eyes as he speaks like he's begging you, the usually bright and playful twinkle in his eyes replaced by love and need. His gaze flicks from your eyes to your lips, and he steps a tiny bit closer to you. 

Before you can answer, you hear Rhiannon shouting in your direction in Korean. You quickly glance at her, and even though you're too far away to see her face properly, you can tell she's making an obscene gesture at you - making a circle with her thumb and index finger, passing the index finger of her other hand through the circle. The other guys burst out laughing, and you feel your cheeks light up in an embarrassed blush.

"Uhm, what did she say?" 

Mark smiles awkwardly, face bright red. He still keeps eye contact, licking his lips before answering your question. "She said she better not catch us trying to fuck in the hallway again…" 

You press your forehead into his chest, groaning. "Now they all know about that?!"

Mark chuckles gently. "Yeah, I'm sorry. It's okay though, they're all understanding, I promise. Come on, I have a place for us to go. If you want, that is." 

"Y-yeah, but I don't want them to make fun of us…" Mark once again begins leading you out of the stage area and into the main hallway of the venue. 

He holds you close as you walk, "I promise that they won't. They can have their fun now, but they'll be doing the exact same thing when they find their own soulmates."

You guessed that you could agree with him on that. You're not exactly sure where he could be leading you as you eventually approach a stairway. Mark stops, searching your expression silently.

"Are you okay, Mark?" 

He licks his lips again when he hears his name. "Yeah, I'm okay. I just want to know if you really truly want to do this, and not because you feel pressured." 

You gently squeeze Mark's hand, nodding. "I really want this. I give you my full and utter consent. I don't want you to be uncomfortable or pressured, either." 

Mark smiles gently at you, relieved. He starts to go up the staircase. "That's why I came here with Donghyuck earlier than the others. Come on, we're almost there." 

A little confused by what he meant, you let Mark keep the lead. At the top of the staircase was another smaller hallway lined with doorways. You figured it was to the observation boxes you saw when you were in the arena. He leads you to the end of the hallway, stopping at the final door.

"This one," Mark says to himself, looking back and smiling at you. 

"You're not-" 

Mark quickly opens the door and holds it open for you, allowing you to enter first. The premium seating area was a lot fancier than you expected- and a lot more closed off. The window overlooking the stage was covered by a black curtain, leaving the room dark until Mark entered the room behind you, flicking on the lights and setting them to be dim. He closed the door behind himself, leaving the two of you truly alone.

On the left of the room was a little kitchen area, complete with cabinets, a mini-fridge and a counter with an electric kettle sitting atop it. In the corner of the counter was a little sink accompanied by soft-looking tea towels. By the window was a bar table with some high chairs, next to it a coffee table shoved against it. On the left of the room was a couch with a soft blanket spread over it. 

Mark kicked off his shoes and set them by the door. "What do you think?" He asked shyly. "We have this room until about 2, so plenty of time before people start looking for me."

"Wow," was all you could really muster, also managing to slide off your own shoes. You set your backpack next to them, placing your lanyard on the top of your bag. "You really did this just so we could have some time alone?"

"Yeah," Mark moved to stand in front of you, gently taking your hand and bringing it up to his face so he could kiss your knuckles fondly. "It beats a broom closet or the hallway outside your apartment," he grins. 

Your face goes red as your memories flood of his knee nearly meeting your crotch the night before. "Yeah, you're right. Thank you for making me comfortable." 

"Of course," he replies cheerfully. "Want me to make you some tea?" 

"No, thank you," your gaze meets Mark's and you swallowed thickly. "I really can't get that dream out of my head," your voice quiets to a whisper, like someone outside could still hear you.

Mark's expression changes quickly, from cheerful to something you could almost discern as predatory. "Me neither," he agreed, his voice deeper and softer. "Can I kiss you?" 

"You can do a lot more than that," you manage to breathe out before his lips are on yours. You wrap your arms around his torso, grasping the cloth of his t-shirt. His hands are resting gently over the jean material covering your hips, mouth moving against yours perfectly. 

You whimper into the kiss, deciding to be a little bold. You untucked his shirt from his jeans and slide your hands underneath the fabric. He takes in a sharp breath once your hands land on his skin, and he breaks the kiss.

"Wow," he sighs, looking at you with half-lidded eyes. His face is flushed and he's smiling warmly at you. 

You sigh in return, swallowing thickly. You want to kiss him again, but he backs up. The next thing you know, he's pulling off his shirt, the fabric landing gently on the floor. Mark then begins guiding your hands to touch his chest. His skin is smooth and soft, toned but not too muscular. His hands are wrapped softly around your wrists, guiding but not completely controlling where you touch.

"Feels good," he sighs, and you wonder if you should stay bold.

"I have an idea," you whisper, your gaze flicking to the couch for a moment. "Sit down?" 

Mark silently agrees with you, both of you approaching the furniture. Mark sits down first, and you take a moment to drink in the view. He's already nearly panting, watching you and running his tongue over his lips. 

Even though his soulmate scar has changed much of what his chest would originally look like, you see his pecs, hard nipples and the outline of nearly formed abs on his tummy. Your eyes continue down to the small black trail of hair that ends your gaze at the band of his boxers peeking out from his jeans. You can tell he's already half-hard in his pants, but you try to not let your gaze linger out of shyness.

"You're stunning, Mark," you say, possibly paralyzed as you stand in front of him. 

He smiles, reaching both arms out to you. "C'mere," he says, "I want to know what you had in mind." 

Licking your own lips, you nod and approach him, climbing onto his lap and straddling him. You gently kiss him once more, and when you back away, he tries to follow and catch your lips again. You shake your head at him, feeling his hands wander back to your hips.

Taking in a deep breath, you dive in. First, your lips meet the crevice of his neck to his traps, lightly trailing your lips across his skin. You feel the slight swelling of his scar, then normal skin as you end your little expedition on the edge of his shoulder. Placing a hand on his chest, you feel his heartbeat, a little fast-paced but steady. You close your eyes for a moment, readying yourself and hoping that he was going to like what you were about to do.

You lean back to look Mark in the eye, even if he is already lost in how he's feeling. "This all is okay, right?" You ask, just to make sure. Your hand slides from his chest down to his hip, slipping a finger barely underneath the band of his boxers.

"Oh yeah," he sighs. "Keep going." 

You comply, lowering your mouth to gently flick your tongue on his right nipple. His reaction is immediate, a whimper that nearly sends you to the high heavens, a strong tingly feeling surging through your crotch. 

"Fuck," the word sounded so obscene yet sweet coming from him, "that's good." 

Smiling triumphantly, you continue with your plan. Gently licking and sucking ever so slightly on his chest until he's a moaning mess, his grip on your hips getting tighter and you start to feel his cock straining in his pants. 

"(Y/N), wait, wait," 

You immediately perk up and begin to worry. "I'm sorry, did I-" 

"No," he nearly laughs. "If you keep doing that, I'm gonna cum in my pants."

You sheepishly look away, "oh," 

"(Y/N), it's okay," Mark says softly, his hands coming to your chest to unclip your overalls, "let's make this about you, too." 

You're speechless as he slowly guides you to stand up, the loose shortalls falling to the floor. His eyes are almost immediately glued to your panties, and you nearly forgot you were wearing your Avengers themed underwear today, the A symbol brandished proudly on the front.

Mark is grinning at you now. "Please tell me there are Avengers on your butt."

Whimpering out of embarrassment, you hide your face in your hands and you drop to your knees in front of him. Mark kisses your forehead, gently taking hold of your wrists again so you can't hide your face. 

"It's okay, I really like them. Come and sit on my lap again, please?" 

Once you realize how you're sitting, you look up at Mark. He's towering over you, and you like that he is looking down at you. "Do you not want me to-" 

Mark shakes his head gently. "Not this time. I just need you in the real way right now." 

When those words reach your ears, you know you're whipped. Standing and stepping out of the jeans pooled beneath you, you clamour back onto Mark's lap. Instantly he's back to kissing you, his hands now freely roaming up the sides of your body, softly. Like in your dream. 

Before Mark can take off your shirt, you both began pressing harder against each other, causing you to moan into the kiss. It felt good to feel his clothed cock over your panties, one less layer preventing complete feeling. 

"Fuck, I wanted to drag this out," Mark says in between kisses that are growing in intensity, "I can almost feel how wet you are and my pants are still on,"

"Take them off, please?" You ask, borderline begging. Mark smiles up at you and doesn't hesitate in complying. You balance on your knees with your hands on Mark's chest as he slides his hands between you both to unbutton and wriggle out of his pants, bringing his boxers with them. Once his cock is free, it sits flush and hard against his abdomen. You find yourself unable to peel your eyes away from it.

"Like what you see?" He jokes, gripping the shaft and moaning once he gives it a couple strong tugs. "Fuck, need you.."

"Mm," you're barely able to form a response, especially when Mark hooks his fingers against your shirt, coaxing you to lift up your arms and allow it to slide off. Next is your bra, and you help him unclip the back as he presses soft kisses to the swell of your breasts.

"God, you're beautiful, I'm so glad I have you," Mark then takes your hands to lace your fingers with his. Slowly you sink your body back down to rest against his cock, moving your hips ever so slightly, sliding the fabric of your panties against his bare member.

"Mark," you whimper, thrusting forward a little stronger. "I really want you to…"

"To what?" Mark asked, his voice husky and his pupils blown with lust. His lips meet yours one more time. 

"Fuck me, please," 

Mark licks his lips and groans. "Just wait a little, gotta make sure.." he lets go of your hands, leaving them to rest again on his shoulders. His own trail down your sides, causing you to squirm and whimper at the touch, your skin incredibly sensitive. He soon takes a hold of your panties, sliding them down your legs. "Fuck, look, it's sticking to your underwear, that's so hot…"

You look down, and you notice a tiny string of wetness still attached to your underwear. You almost want to hide your face in the crook of Mark's shoulder, but instead, he coaxes you to stand long enough to rid your legs of your panties. 

"Look at you," he whispers, making you acutely aware that you're completely naked in front of him. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," you look him in the eye, straddling his lap once more and leaning against him for a quick and intimate hug. "I've just never been naked in front of anyone before."

"Me neither, it's okay," he says softly. "Can I touch you?" 

"Yes," you suck in a sharp breath as Mark trails a finger down your stomach. As soon as he reaches your crotch, you feel like you could explode into flames. You think this is the first time Mark has really hesitated, but you're fine with it. 

"Like this," you say softly, using your hand to guide his. Gathering some wetness on his fingers, you guide him to rub a few tiny circles on your clit before you let him take over.

"Good?" He asks, continuing the movement until you nod, sighing. It felt amazing that you were finally getting to some relief of the ache that's been building inside your abdomen. Soon there's another jolt of pleasure running through you as Mark slips a finger inside you. 

"Fuck, Mark," you whine, pressing your forehead to his. You can feel his breath on you, ghosting your lips against his own. Once Mark adds a second finger, you feel like his soft movements could make you cum right then and there. He's fucking you ever so slowly with his fingers that you could nearly call it torture. "Please, I think… I think I'm ready," 

"O-okay," Mark stutters for a moment, and it feels just as good when his fingers slip out. "We can go slow, right?"

"Any way you want," you answer, pecking his lips again. 

"Okay," he sighs sweetly, guiding your hips downward with one hand and lining himself up with the other. "God, I can already feel it," he whines, feeling the tip of his leaking cock nudging your entrance. "Better than what I dreamed."

Ever so slowly, you're sinking down onto him. There's a bit of a stretch and a little bit of pain, but you work through it as best you can. Mark is clenching his jaw, eyes shut tightly. His hands are gripping your hips hard enough to bruise, and his breathing has picked up to wanton panting. 

"Fuck, fuck, (Y/N), this is so good, it feels so good to be inside," His words cause you to pulse around him, making you both cry out. Without warning Mark's hips snap upward, his voice slowly groaning out more curse words, following your cry of surprise. "Fuck, I'm sorry, are you okay?"

You wince but nod at him once he opens his eyes. "Yeah, I'm okay. I think. I think we can move." 

"Okay. I want to fuck you, is that alright?" 

You nod, your face burning. You brace yourself, hands balancing on the back of the couch and gripping the soft blanket. When Mark starts to move, you can hear your wetness squelching and his accompanying quiet moans of 'fuck, that's hot.' Mark leans forward, his arms coming to broadly trap you in a hug as he slowly thrusts upward to meet with your pelvis. He presses wanton and open-mouthed kisses to your neck, and you can feel him smiling faintly every time you say his name. 

You know for sure that you've quickly given up most of your ability to hold yourself up. Even though you're full of energy and are being consumed by a swirl of wanton feelings, the constant build of pleasure in your abdomen and the contracting of your pussy around Mark every time any noise came out of him left you feeling like a ragdoll. Mark is holding you up through his hug, and because of how your chests are squished together, you can feel him breathe.

"Mark," you managed to cry out once his slow thrusts began to grow faster and more needy, "Mark, I'm close," 

"Please tell me you're gonna cum first, fuck, (Y/N), please cum first!" Mark is losing his rhythm now, crying out stuttered moans between his begging for you to cum. 

"Mark, don't stop, please… I'm gonna cum," You're unable to feel embarrassment from the obscenities leaving your mouth as the pressure that's been building inside you reaches its peak, your pussy rapidly pulsing around Mark's cock. Your eyes are rolling back as clear ecstasy washes over you, sharp spikes of pleasure eventually dulling.

"Fuck, tight, need more, fuck! Fuck, (Y/N), I'm gonna cum too, fuck, I'm cumming!" You're nearly about to begin whimpering from overstimulation before you feel Mark's cock still. It hardened even further, twitching inside of you and following it was the warmth of his cum. 

Slowly, you both come down to reality, Mark gently kissing your neck as you lay nearly limp on him, his fingers tracing delicate patterns on your back. There is a clear sheen of sweat between you, and soon it becomes a little uncomfortable.

"Hey, do you think you can sit up? I need to get some stuff to get you clean," Mark's voice is calm and sweet, if not still a little ragged. 

"I think so," you manage to answer, trying your best to balance again on your knees, your whole body starting to tremble. Mark's softening cock slides out, a dollop of his cum following. Somehow, you feel less complete without him there.

"Let me help," Mark says softly, gently guiding you to lay down on the couch. Once he knows you're comfortable, he pulls on his boxers and wanders to the counter. 

You're watching him with hooded eyes as he reaches into one of the cupboards, pulling out a small pack of baby wipes, following with dampening two of the washcloths in the sink. 

"I got these on the way back last night and that's how Johnny figured out what I wanted," he said sheepishly as he came back to you, kissing you softly before kneeling down and opening up the little packet. "He had the idea of bringing that blanket." 

"I really didn't expect that to happen," you say, taking in a sharp breath when you feel coolness over your thighs as Mark cleans you up. "Thank you."

"Anything for you," he said, passing you the damp washcloth. "Just so we both don't look like we just had sex." 

You nod, taking the cloth and dabbing it over your forehead and chest. Once your fatigue begins to fade, you sit up and watch Mark sitting cross-legged on the floor, wiping away the layer of sweat from his chest. His eyes meet yours, and the way he smiles at you makes you tear up. 

"Hey, what's wrong?" Mark immediately looks concerned, standing and taking a seat next to you. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, of course," you wipe a tear away with your hand, "I just really love you." In that moment you feel more vulnerable than you ever had in your life. Naked, scarred and crying in front of your soulmate. 

Mark's smile returns quickly, pecking a quick kiss to your cheek. "I love you, too, (Y/N)." His eyes are sparkling again, something that makes your heart ache even more, but in a good way. "Come on, let's get you dressed." 

Soon he is standing again, coaxing you to join him. He helps you slip your underwear back on, making an idle comment and bearing a giant grin when he realizes that there really are Avengers characters on the butt of your panties.

Mark takes extra care in making sure you were comfortable and your bra was sitting properly on your chest. He blew raspberries on your tummy, grinning as you laughed. Honestly, the thought that should have been in your mind was completely dismissed in the sweet moments of Mark helping you get dressed. 

"Now I'm hungry," you say as you finish putting on your shortalls, laughter on your lips, pretending to pout at Mark as he slips on his shirt, tucking it tightly back into his pants. 

Mark nods, "yeah, me too. We can get some food in the green room. Here, you have a twisty strap," Mark approaches you once more and unclips one of your overall buttons, straightening out the strap and smoothing it along your shoulder. "There, all better." 

"Thank you," you look back over the room, noticing a backpack that wasn't yours sitting next to the couch. "Is that yours?"

Mark nodded. "Yeah. After the show, I'm gonna come back here to grab it. I just have to fold the blanket and put away the washcloths." 

"I can help you," you say, turning around go grab the blanket and fold it, but Mark gently takes your hand to stop you once you try to reach for the backpack to stuff it inside.

"It's okay, you can help me after. We should get something to eat now," Mark is smiling fondly at you, nodding toward the door. Huffing a tiny sigh you agree, putting the folded blanket down on the couch and following him to slip on your shoes, grab your lanyard and backpack, heading out the door.

[basicallywhiterice]

moonlight (xu minghao)

Genre: Fluff, one scene with angst, college!au, graduation!au, established relationship, moving in together

Summary: Your relationship with Minghao, told through phone calls

Word count: 2k

Warnings: One cuss word I think

a/n: This is lowkey the foil to sunny but the plots are completely unrelated. Happy Minghao day y’all

D-17.

You wake up to a phone call from Minghao.

“Good morning!” he chirps. You respond with a noncommittal grunt. “Aw, baby. Rise and shine!”

“Five more minutes,” you yawn, turning over in your bed.

“C’mon, chop-chop. Get your exams over with! Get that bread, get that head, then leave.”

You still want to go back to sleep, but Minghao’s ridiculousness makes you open your eyes. “You want me to get that head? When you’re a hundred miles away?” Static. “That’s what I thought,” you grin, closing your eyes as another yawn escapes your mouth.

“Hey hey hey, don’t fall asleep on me again. You got this. Turn your camera on!”

“Why?”

“So I can see your beautiful face,” he sing-songs. A grin spreads across your face almost involuntarily—after three years of dating Minghao, simple statements like these never fail to make you happy. It’s because of how genuine he is, you think. He means it from the bottom of his heart. “Plus, you’ll have a harder time falling asleep again.”

“If you insist.” You sit up, turn your camera on, and prop your phone up on your blankets. Minghao pops up on screen a few moments later. “Hey.”

The call freezes for a second, displaying a pixelated jumble of his smiling face, before it resumes to show him blowing a kiss at you. “Hey.”

You blow one back, feeling the sleepiness leave your body. “Mm. Last day of exams. Can’t wait to get this shit over with.”

“That’s the spirit!” His grin is contagious, and you can’t help but break into a smile yourself.

“Thank you for cheering me up, Minghao. You just helped me start my day right.” Minghao’s the more laid-back person in your relationship, but he has no problem being your personal hypeman. He’s good at it, too—he never fails to brighten your day.

“Thank you for overcoming your sleepiness for me, baby.”

“Mhm, just for you. I think I’m gonna take a quick shower before I finish my exams.”

“Can I join?”

“Minghao!” You burst out laughing. Minghao grins.

“Hey, at least you’re fully awake now, right?”

“Oh my god, you dork. Anyways, what are you doing today?”

He explains some of his new designs and marvels at the amount of creative freedom his upcoming project has. Before you know it, it’s 8:28 and Minghao has to leave to catch the metro. You say your goodbyes like normal.

“I love you, Minghao.”

“I love you, y/n.”

You pause before you hit the ‘end call’ button. “I’ll see you soon.”

D-13.

Sometimes, you wonder if suffering through two years of graduate school was worth it.

Then, you remember the job offer you landed a few months ago, and the long hours seem like a small price to pay. Getting a job in New York City is no small task, and your learning through your graduate program certainly helped.

Plus, listening to Minghao get excited about how you’re finally moving in makes the process sound more than worth it, no matter how long it took.

“—so I asked my boss for the afternoon off to pick you up, and she said yes! And I was super happy, and she was super happy that I was happy, you know? She also suggested getting flowers—do you want flowers? I told her you don’t like flowers because they’re impractical, but I can get you a bouquet if you want, if you’ve changed your mind. Or I could get a flowerpot for our apartment. Or do you want a succulent for our apartment? They’re cute—”

“Minghao, calm down. Take a deep breath.” You wait until you hear his exaggerated huffing and puffing, and you smile. Minghao talks a mile a minute when he gets excited, but you love it. “Great. I’d love to get a plant for our apartment. I’m bringing my cactus with me, so we could draw cute faces on the flowerpots and have them be friends.”

“Didn’t you already draw something on your cactus’ pot, though?”

“Yeah, but there’s plenty of space to add on. Wait, let me show you.” You stand, padding toward your window and throwing open the curtains. Outside, the faint streaks of sunset paint the sky, illuminated by the fading glow of daylight. You grab your cactus from the window sill and walk back to your desk, holding it up to your phone.

“Oh, I like all the doodles,” Minghao remarks as you turn your plant this way and that. When you show him the back, where you’ve painted a crescent moon, his eyes soften. “You painted a moon on there.”

When Minghao graduated and left for New York, he promised that he’d always be there for you in spirit. After all, he had said, when you could look up to the same moon he saw, it was almost like he was there with you. “Whenever it’s cloudy at night or when there’s a new moon and I can’t see the moon, I just look at this instead,” you admit, running your finger over the paint.

“God, I’m so in love with you.”

“I know,” you smile softly, looking back up at your phone screen. “That’s exactly how I feel about you.”

“I know.”

Minghao stays on the phone with you for ten more minutes before he hangs up to go grocery shopping.

“I’ll see you soon, Minghao,” you say before you end the call.

Outside, the moon hasn’t risen yet, the sky an inky black. Tonight, though, you don’t need to watch the moon to deal with missing Minghao. Tonight, you sit back, content with waiting thirteen more days to see him.

D-10.

“I’m always so worried that this might be the last time I see my friends,” you whisper into the silence. It’s nearing midnight, but your mind is racing. You just got back from a long dinner with your friends and classmates, which was a fun affair, but now existential dread is creeping up on you.

“I felt the same way when I first graduated,” Minghao admits. You’re Facetiming him again, but your phone lays flat on your bed as you shuffle around, trying to drink in all the details of your room before you have to leave. “I still worry that I’ll never see some of them again. But they’re always one text away, and I make time to see everyone important to me.”

“Yeah. True.” You sigh. “Still, though. I’m gonna miss everyone. I miss you too, you know, even though I’ll be in New York soon.”

“I know. I miss you every day.”

You fall back onto your bed, grabbing your phone and holding it above your face. “I don’t… I don’t want to suffer through missing my friends while knowing that we probably won’t live in the same city again, you know? Missing you is slightly more bearable because I know we’ll end up in the same place, but there’s no guarantee for everyone else.”

“Yeah, and it sucks. But you’ll still be in touch with them, and you’ll make new friends.”

“Yeah.”

“Yeah.”

In the middle of the night, after you hang up and you’re all alone, you gaze up at the moon for strength.

D-5.

After walking across the stage and throwing your graduation cap in the air, you’re finally free from school. You don’t have much time to talk to Minghao—your day is packed with ceremonies and parties—but he’s just as excited as you are.

“Two years and I’m done!” you half-shout over the chattering in the background.

“I’m so proud of you, baby. Show me your graduation cap!”

You pluck it off your head and hold it in front of you with one hand, rotating it this way and that like a steering wheel. “It’s about the same as the undergraduate cap. I did get this hood, though. It almost feels like a cape.”

“You could be a superhero that has caffeine for blood, or something, and your kryptonite could be history tests.”

“God, don’t remind me of those. I’m free now, remember?”

You talk for a few more minutes before your friends remind you of the graduation party at 4 pm, and you have to hang up to get ready. Before you hang up, Minghao bombards you with reminders of how proud he is, before you finally have to go.

“I’ll see you soon,” he says.

D-1.

“Really? You’re still doing last-minute packing?” Minghao asks as you throw some shoes into your suitcase.

“Shh, I blame you for distracting me with late-night calls.”

“You find me to be distracting?”

You roll your eyes, ducking down to grab your folded towels and plop them on your bed. “Mhm, always have. Don’t get cocky, though.”

He’s smirking when you look back to the phone screen.

“Minghao! I just said not to get cocky.”

“C’mon, let me have this moment.”

You sigh dramatically, glancing around your nearly-empty room and making a mental checklist of things to pack in the morning. “You’ll get to the airport at 2 tomorrow, right?”

“Yeah. Terminal C, right?”

“Right. Can’t wait to C you then.” He groans, and you can’t help but prolong the joke. “Get it? C you?”

“I feel so bad for your roommates. I bet you tortured them with constant bad puns during exam season.”

“No comment.”

At 8:21, your roommate Jieqiong starts the last movie night you’ll share together, and you bid Minghao goodbye. Still, you find comfort in the fact that this is the last goodnight you’ll send over Facetime for a long time.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Minghao,” you say, blowing him a kiss.

“See you tomorrow.”

D-Day.

“I just got done picking up my suitcases,” you say, slipping an earbud into your right ear as you drop your phone in your pocket. As you grab the handles of your luggage, you scan the baggage claim area for an exit and start walking toward the sliding doors at the end of the row of conveyors.

“Awesome, I just saw some people walk out,” Minghao says. “I’m here waiting.”

Suddenly, you feel very small as the gravity of the situation weighs on you. Minghao is behind those doors, waiting. You’re about to start a new life together, staying in the same city for the first time in two years. “What if I can’t find you?” you all but whisper, halting your footsteps.

“Then we’ll just keep looking for each other. Take your time, baby.”

“I—yeah, okay.” You will your legs to move again. “Will you stay on the call with me?”

“Of course.”

“Okay.” A comfortable silence falls as you pass the exit checkpoint, stepping out of the sliding doors to the pickup area. “Okay, I just walked outside and—”

And then your gaze falls on a certain young man wearing a top in your favorite shade of light blue. What catches your attention is the poster he’s holding, with ‘my moon’ written on it in loopy handwriting and a cartoon moon doodled next to it.

Your face nearly splits open from how wide your smile is.

“I see you.”

Day 1.

You wake up with your face pressed into Minghao’s chest.

“Good morning,” you whisper. “Are you awake?”

Minghao groans. “Five more minutes,” he mutters. “What time is it?”

You glance around the room until you find his clock on his bedside table. “9:45. We have lots of time before we have to meet my parents for lunch.”

“Mm. Good.” He wraps an arm around your waist. “I’m glad you’re here, sleepyhead.”

You scoot closer. “You’re the one asking for more sleep, mister.”

“You’re the one who’s warm and soft and cuddly. I love you, y/n.”

Closing your eyes, you nuzzle your head into his chest and relax into his embrace. “I love you, Minghao.”

[reddrobins]

of coffee cups + criminals - two [j.todd]

TW: violence

ONE - THREE

[Y/N] stood statue-like in her apartment living room. Since hanging up on Jason, not another word had been uttered. 

Sionis had finally moved from his spot, now opting to move around her kitchenette. Her eyes remained glued on the criminal before her.

“So,” The Black Mask finally spoke, “Miss… [L/N], is it?”

Of course, [Y/N] comprehended his words, but fear disabled her ability to reply. 

The masked man gazed expectantly upon her, waiting for her response. Roman chucked to himself, it seemed that his confrontations always started out this way. Approaching her, he stood within an arm's length, eyebrows raised in waiting.

“Well?” He drawled out, clearly bored, it seemed to [Y/N] that he had done this more than once.

“Yes.” Her voice was barely above a whisper and she feared that maybe she had said it in her head. That was until Roman clapped his hands together, seemingly  happy with her answer.

“Wonderful,” He sauntered back to the kitchen area, gloved fingers lingering on the countertops, “I have to say, we did have some difficulty tracking you.” 

As the words sank in, she watched as he took - what she assumed to be - a phone out of his jacket pocket. 

Curiosity getting the better of her, [Y/N] let out a hushed, “What?”

Sionis, to be frank, found her quite humorous. When he usually came to set a record straight, the sorry Gothamite he encountered was often hostile, whipping out whatever protective items they had. [Y/N]’s reaction was vastly different from any one he had come into contact with thus far.

“Oh yes,” He started, all the while scrolling through the files Mr. Li had sent him. “[Y/N] [L/N], 21 years old, originally from Metropolis…” Sionis looked up from his phone, he smirked at her, “Fan of the Man of Steel I presume?” 

[Y/N] swallowed the fear rising in her throat as Roman continued to lazily look at her information. She stood as still as she possibly could, but her mind was racing. Millions of thoughts as to how to escape, how to run, how to get to Jason, swarmed her head.

An annoyed sigh followed by a slam shook her out of her thoughts. “So much information on you, yet so little telling me what I want to hear.” Sionis brought a hand to his face, pinching the bridge of his nose in annoyance. It was unlike his informants to have this little confirmation on [Y/N]’s allies, it was as if he couldn't connect her to anyone.

Then, “Look-” He started, walking towards her once more, “You seem like an upstanding girl, my men reported that you make a damn good cup of coffee,”

He continued his monologue, but [Y/N] had tuned out. Of course - she thought - Of-fucking-course. Literally just her luck that the only reason for the shop to be busy was through the workings of the criminal underworld.

A harsh grip brought her back to the situation. The Black Mask had his clothed fingers wrapped around her forearm, squeezing with enough force to bruise. “Well!?”

[Y/N] looked at him, confusion clear on her face, “...huh?” 

Roman all but growled,fingers tightening their hold, “I’m sorry dear, I didn't take you for an incompetant fool.” 

Surprised at his newfound hostility, she tried to pull away - only angering Sionis further. “Now, I am going to ask again. What do you know about the Red Hood?”

The Red Hood.

She knew of the infamous vigilante, of course - all of Gotham did. 

“I-I- I don't know, just, he’s like,” [Y/N] sputtered for an answer, unsure what to say to keep Roman at ease, “He works with the Batman! I know that…” 

Unfortunately, this was not what Roman wanted to hear. “I know that, you idiot!” He grit out, throwing [Y/N] from his hold. The girl stumbled back, nearly falling to the floor. She braced herself onto her knee, keeping her from falling forward.

The Black Mask stalked towards her crouched form and gripped her chin, forcing her gaze to be on him. He gave her a sickening smile, “Let me rephrase the question for you, and this time give me a competent response.”

Roughly releasing her face, he stepped away and took the switchblade out of his pocket once more. “What do you know about the Red Hood…”

Helplessly, [Y/N] began to protest, “That’s the same questio-”

Roman waved the blade back and forth, tutting at the girl before him, “Tsk, I didn’t finish. What do you know about the Red Hood, personally?”

[Y/N] didn't fail to hear the implication in his question. He phrased it as though the two had history, as though [Y/N] and this Red Hood were in cahoots with one another. 

“I’m telling you,” She pleaded, “I don't know him. I-I don't know who you think I am, but I’ve never even met this guy!” 

At that, the Black Mask scoffed, rolling his piercing eyes, and began to pace. “So…” He hissed out angrily, “So you’re telling me that, this-” Roman shoved his phone towards [Y/N]’s face, a picture bright on the screen. “Isn't you?”

It took a second for her eyes to focus on the screen in the dim apartment. But even without pure vision, [Y/N] already knew the answer. She could immediately recognize the picture.

It was on the corner street near Robinson Park. It was ‘their’ spot. When she got off of work at 4:00, Jason would meet her there, the two walking home together. 

The image displayed her, bag slung on her shoulder, tiredly waiting for Jason to show.

[Y/N]’s throat was dry, but knew a response was expected, pushing through - she squeaked out a small, “No.”

Roman narrowed his eyes, “No?” He then laughed, the sound eerily deep and stunning, “‘No’ she says!” 

In a second, he towered over [Y/N], stained cafe apron clutched in his fist, pulling her up towards him. “Do you think this is a joke? Think I’m here on a friendly visit?”

[Y/N] shook her head frantically, pulling her head as far back as possible, “N-No! No, I mean, Yes, yes that's me but no - no I don't think it's a joke.”

Sionis loosened his hold, now leaving [Y/N] at an arm's length from him. Just when she began to think she was out of the woods, the silver butterfly knife made its true appearance. The gangster held it in front of him, pointing the sharp tip towards [Y/N]’s chest.

“I’m done with the games.” Was all he uttered. 

Unsure of what to say, the terrified girl stayed silent. This apparently was on the list of ‘ways to piss off the Black Mask’. Her lack of response elicited another groan from Roman, thus annoying him to the point of no return.

Raising the blade, he traced her jawline - not hard enough to cut, only to instill fear. “You have one of two options, you either spill what you know about the Hood or…”

The smile that appeared on his face let [Y/N] know that no, she didn't really have an option here.

“I spill your guts.”

It was a lie, but she didn't know that. Roman knew that she meant far more to him alive than dead. They had already established that the deal was a life for a life. The Black Mask wasn't stupid, he knew who he was making business with, he knew not to fuck this one up.

[Y/N] however, was unaware of this promise. Upon hearing the threat, she let out a strangled sob, a feral cry of helplessness. There was no way she would be getting out alive, she didn't know a single thing about this hooded vigilante.

“Please!” tears now flowed freely down her face, “I promise you, I don't know anything about him. Just let me be.” Backing up, [Y/N] tried to put as much distance between the two, “I won’t tell anyone you were here. I- I’ll just go in my room and act like nothing happened. Please, I promise.”

Though [Y/N]’s whimpering brought immense joy to the masked villain, Roman had heard enough. He was running on a time constraint and if he wasn't to deliver the package within the night, the Red Hoodlum wouldn't be taken care of.

“You had your chance,” Sionis nodded to the shadows, and to [Y/N]’s surprise, out walked two men. How she hadn't noticed them before, beats her - but here they were in all their large and intimidating glory. “I’d like you to meet my men, Miss [L/N]. Rick, Leon-” He lazily acknowledged the two, “Please grab the girl and bring her up to the roof. Our ride awaits.”

As the two men stalked towards her, [Y/N] silently debated her options. One being she lets the Mask take her and she dies, and two, she makes a run for it and she dies… probably. Either option seemed like a loss and so with all her common sense left back in Metropolis, she made a beeline to the door.

Unsurprisingly, the three felons didn't seem at all phased by this fruitless attempt at evasion. Roman didn't so much as have to jerk his head towards her fleeting form for the two large goons to get the memo. 

Almost at unhuman-like speed, the largest man, Rick, grabbed hold of [Y/N], easily pulling her further from the safety of the door. With minimum effort, he twisted her struggling form into a headlock, both arms braced around her upper body. 

[Y/N] clawed at the man's vice lock, doing everything in her power to gain control. If she learned anything from her years in Gotham, it was that in situations like these, the one thing you need to survive is control. 

Alas, it seemed as though tonight was anything but controllable for [Y/N]. ‘And for what?’ She found herself thinking, ‘All because of a stupid fucking vigilante she doesn't even know?’ Normally, she was not one to get angry, but after a moment of introspection, she then realised how fucked her situation was.

Resorting to the last possible tactic, [Y/N] threw out every ounce of hesitance in her body and bit down onto Ricks arm. Maybe it was in pure shock, or just plain disgust, but Rick immediately uncurled his arms, freeing [Y/N] from his hold.

With no time to gloat at her self defense skills, [Y/N] once more raced to the door, already feeling the sense of safety at her fingertips.

But like all good things, this quickly came to an end.

Right as her hand gripped the door knob, the cool metal slipped from her grasp, a rough tug pulling her back. On instinct, she brought her hand up to her head - the source of the painful yank. Someone had pulled her back by her hair, the stinging pain slowly spreading about her head.

Before she could even wonder who the perpetrator was, Sionis’ stygian face came into view. This time, he feigned a look of sorrow, though an obvious hint of pleasure shone through. “Look, I really didn't want to have to do this, but you’re not making my life a whole lot easy.”

[Y/N] didn't have a chance to question what ‘this’ was. That was until the brass-knuckled fist made contact with her temple.

-

Jason knew something was wrong when she hadn't picked up the first three tries. Though he had not totally let her into his past, [Y/N] knew enough to pick up on his anxious tendencies.

It was an unspoken code in their relationship. If someone didn't pick up within three calls, without prior reason, it was expected of the other to call the GCPD. Or, in Jason's case- The Red Hood.

After her abrupt hang up, Jason had gone back to his safe house, deciding it would be better to track [Y/N]’s cell rather than worry the whole night.

It was now thirty past midnight, almost an hour since her last call. Jason, though he wanted to, didn't immediately jump into action as the tracer was pinning [Y/N]’s phone location to be in her home. 

‘Maybe she fell asleep?’ Jason thought in a sorry attempt to calm his worries. ‘Highly unlikely,’ He retorted to himself, of course, it was a common occurrence to be his own worst enemy.

His anxieties finally getting the best of him, he re-dawned the scarlet helmet and headed out the door, not without strapping a few extra guns onto his person.

Jason had only set up this safe house when he and [Y/N] had started dating. She lived closer to the Narrows, as a result of cheap rent and close distance to the coffee shop. But Jason, who mostly dealt with the Diamond district and sometimes Amusement Mile, couldn't have been farther from [Y/N]. So, using up some of the money he had nabbed off of Cobblepot’s latest (terminated) heist, he purchased a small storage location just a block from her complex.

It had only taken Jason ten minutes to arrive at her apartment, the benefit of having a grappling gun. Before even entering the door, Jason knew something was wrong.

Normally, when he came to visit late a night, he could see light seeping out from under the door crack. Tonight, however, it was jet black. Opting to pick the lock instead of acting on his urge to kick down the door, Jason silently toed into the room. 

The silence only confirmed his thoughts. 

Even in the depths of night, [Y/N]’s house was not quiet. Music, TV chatter, a podcast even, just something was always playing. The eerie stillness shook him to his core, his anxiety spiking the further he crept into her home. Upon brief inspection, he was able to deduct that she had been home… but not alone.

Several pairs of shoeprints littered the floor. He could easily recognise her’s, the small curves in between the outline - definitely [Y/N]’s boots. But he struggled with the three others. It was not that [Y/N] didn't have any friends, she had many - but they were back in Metropolis, surely they wouldn't show up at midnight at random.

Jason scrunched his eyes closed under the mask. Leave it to him to be the one whose girlfriend disappears. Comparison crept back into his head, “Dick’s never lost Barbara, Tim and Steph are always together… Even Bruce can contact Selina when needed…” 

The ugly thought of ‘WHY ME’ was plastered behind his eyes, but he shook it off. [Y/N] was his top priority right now, not his own insecurities.

Accepting that this may be bigger than his detective skills, (Jason had always considered himself more of a fighter) he fished something out of his leather jacket. Entering a number he thought he never would, he connected the phone to his coms.

“Hey, it's me…” A breath, then, “I, I think I might need your help on this one.”

[xsugarysweetsx]

ℭ𝔥𝔞𝔭𝔱𝔢𝔯 5

A/N: Characters are above the age of 18! Iwaizumi is set as 21 and, reader is 19 turning 20!!

Warnings; closing up again, arguing, iwa being mean, slight angst, slight cursing, slight action (Im horrible at writing action scenes)

Previous Next

°°°° °°°° °°°°

“Wow...it’s been years since he’s shown his vulnerable side. I think you’re getting through to him Y/N“ Oikawa spoke with you in the garden that early morning. You woke you before Hajime and decided to take a walk in the garden and watch the flowers open up. From what Oikawa tells you he appreciated what you had done the night before.

“I don’t know....whenever he’s nice or trying to be it seems forced“ you answer disappointed. You won’t lie to yourself holding him as he held you was nice and something you would welcome again. Would you say it was love or feelings for him? 

You weren’t exactly sure for that matter.

“Well I think,“ Oikawa picks a flower and hands it to you “you my dear, are getting to our king and you want to know something?“

“What?“

“someone has a crush~“ he wiggles his shoulders nudging you a bit 

“Me?“ you asked confused and he simply nodded with a huge grin. Oh goodness was he really playing cupid right now? Before you could answer someone had called your name 

“Y/N?“ Turning around you see Hajime still in his nightwear, just being silk pants and no shirt. He also looked as if he had been running? You stand as he approaches you 

“Are you okay you look-“

“I’m fine, you were gone and I was....I” he stops himself “We, have a meeting with a neighboring kingdom this afternoon and we aren’t ready yet“ 

“Oh I’m sorry. We’ll talk later Oikawa“ you wave as you follow Hajime back to your shared room. He immediately started to get dressed and so you did the same. Shimming out of your nightgown and walking to the the closet where all your dresses hung.

He seemed to be taking this one quite seriously so you take out your favorite dress. It was a pastel pink dress with delicate designs and small detail, simple yet lovely.  

Slipping in to it you go to Hajime and let him tie the corset behind you. This became routine for you now. Helping each other dress and look presentable, now it was just habit. Turning you fix up his buttons and make sure his hair is neat, meanwhile he clasps your necklace around your neck. You do the same for him as your final touches are done.

“How do I look?“ you ask once you were ready. You had never asked him that before and he was caught a bit off guard. He took a breath and did what Oikawa told him. To speak his mind 

“You look...beautiful..“ he said honestly. 

“T-thank you I um...you look handsome“ you compliment back “So who are we meeting, you seem a bit worried“ you said taking his arm 

“They’re a neighboring kingdom who like to pick fights and and battles for more territory“ he explains as you walk down the hall 

“Some time ago they’d pick on farmers who live on the outskirts of the kingdom and steal their goods. Which is why we hesitate to expand land. They had sent a request to become allies, but” he stopped turning to look at you 

“They tend to be very sneaky and will take every chance they can grasp to get their ways. So stay aware understand?“ you gave him a firm nod as his hand slips into yours. It was so...warm, something you had never felt before. It made you feel, safe, it wasn’t a strong hold not a weak one. Two guards stood outside the room and opened the doors.

Upon entering the meeting room sat a man with sharp eyes and a mischievous smirk. If you remember correctly from your lessons they must be from the Kingdom Nohebi, King Suguru Daishou. You and Hajime curtsy and they do the same before taking seats. 

“So the cold king has finally taken a bride, it was about time.“ he chuckles as the papers were laid in front of you all. You pick up your piece and begin to read. Most say to just sign the papers but this was something you were giving permission to, you should at least read it. 

“What are you thinking so far?“ Hajime asks 

“It all seems reasonable except for the part of farms having to house your men whether they want to or not.“ your brows furrow “In other words forced-“

“Well your highness, my knights work extremely hard and most nights are late patrols,“ he intertwines his fingers and rests his chin on them “When they need rest it’s dangerous to do so in the forest“ he smiles 

You still argue against it “Yes but our farmers and yours have the right to refuse if they feel it is needed-”

“It’s the least they can do seeing they’re nothing but dead weight on the kingdom. Just uh...crumbs“ he chuckles smiling at you 

“Do as you want with your kingdom but ours work tirelessly to plant and harvest crops and I will not allow for our soldiers or yours to force themselves into homes.“ You stand your ground with a fiery passion. This was a side Hajime had not seen..and he kind of liked it. Oikawa stood in his spot very interested with what you were saying. 

Suguru didn’t take it too well “If I remember well, the queen was simply there to give the kingdom beauty, she wasn’t to speak during trades.“

“Well then I’m the first. If I am queen, I will protect my people“ damn he felt his cheeks heating up 

“You need to learn to control your woman King Iwaizumi, teach her to hold her tongue” Hajime felt something boil within him. He was angry and wanted to punch him in his smug face but you had beat him to it. The sound of paper ripping filled the room as you threw the pieces at him.

“I reject your proposition“

“That’s really too bad“ he said calmly snapping his fingers. Next thing you knew you were held against cold armor with something cold help to your neck. Scanning the situation you had been brought to the edge of a sword threatening to pierce your skin. You breath was caught in your throat, your eyes frozen on Hajime

“Guards!“ Oikawa called out but only made the blade come against you more. You were genuinely scared at this moment. The guards come in and freeze in place 

“Now, now Iwaizumi, listen closely. If your guards try and come near me, you may big farewell to your queen.“ he said walking to you and pinching one of your cheeks 

“Or maybe I’ll keep her for myself she’d make a fine con-“ and just like a that a punch had landed him square in the jaw sending him to the floor. Quick reflexes allow him to take a hold of the guards sword and get you out of deaths grip.

He pushes you behind him keeping the sword in a strong hold. His guards rushing in to cease the enemy. 

“Get her to our room and do not let her leave“ he said handing her over to his guards 

“Yes sir.“ you were then escorted by three of his guards. Walking to Suguru he squats down and pulls him close to his face

“Pull something like that again, and it’ll be your head hanging on my wall....understand?“ Suguru nods as his body trembles in Hajime’s hold. Letting his go he walks to the door 

“Kick him out and cut our contact off. And I want more men to begin training.“ he said to Oikawa, his entire aura had changed. To one of anger and rage, this couldn’t be good could it?

~

You paced the floor of the shared room waiting for something, anything. You hand rests over your heart where it pounded in your rib cage. If it wasn’t for Hajime you would have been done for. Suddenly the door opens and closes again, turning quickly you see it’s Hajime  

“Oh you’re okay I um..“ you walk to him and take his hands in yours “Thank you...you really saved my life there I-“

“You’re absolutely careless,“ your eyes widen as your head shoots up to look into his eyes “Do you understand what an idiotic move that was I told you to keep your damn guard up and you go and pull that stunt!“ 

“But...it was wrong I had to-“

“What you had to do was keep your damn mouth shut and not say anything. I already told you we were not on good terms and he can now possibly declare a war upon us“ he snatches his hands from yours and walk about the room massaging the bridge of his nose. 

You felt a bit guilty about it “I-I’m sorry..I thought I was helping..” you say quietly 

“Helping?! You nearly got yourself killed! That would have been another death on my shoulders to carry. Damn woman, if it weren’t for you none of this would have happened.“

“Well at least I care for the people of this kingdom unlike you!“

“And you think just because you are here you’d make it better? Please, things would be much easier without you here to pester me.” damn he was angry “Don’t think I haven’t noticed you trying to be all nice to me, whatever in the hell is going on through your head, you’re mistaken“

“..you really are a cold king aren’t you. Not a single trace of compassion..“

“Of course I am. You may be crown queen but you mean nothing to me, if I wanted to have a passionate night I could have a concubine as soon as tonight if I wish“ he said carelessly

You felt the tears welling up from his words “Why did I expect any different from you“ you walk to the door and open it “you’re mother wouldn’t be happy with this.... would she?“ and off you went closing the door.

You run into the old room you were once in. Cold and unwelcoming, just like it’s king. You take the necklace off and toss it on to the vanity and lay on to the bed.

Your head was spinning and your heart throbbed. You thought you had progressed, but it was all for show. He said it, you meant nothing to him. Whatever it was you felt grief wash over you as a sob took over your body. A shaken sob falls from your lips as tears stain the sheets. A knock came to the door, a timid head came in 

“your majesty?“ it was Rose she came in and shut the door. “Ma’am, do you need something“ lifting your head to look at her. Her kind eyes only made you break down and fall into his seeking comfort. She patted your back and let you get everything out

“I tried Rose..s-so hard it just..rose...“ you look up at her with dreadful eyes “I-I think...“

“What is it ma’am?“

“I think I..l-love....“ she completely understood and just let you continue until you had fallen asleep from crying. She really did feel bad for you, you had tried so hard but only got his cold side as a result. After setting you properly in bed she walks out of the room quietly. Oikawa happened to be passing by and had gone to ask Rose what happened 

“She’s..*sigh* she’s very hurt. She had cried until she had fallen asleep. I think she’s developed feelings for the king and after their argument she’s just so broken“

“I’ll see what the king says then, get some sleep alright?“ he kisses her forehead and heads back to Hajime’s room. He simply walks in on the king sulking in his chair.

“What did you say to her?“

“What she couldn’t handle a few words? Pft, she’s weaker than I though-“

“Hajime!“ it’s been a few years since he used his first name “She just cried herself to sleep because of you! I don’t care what your argument was about but if you really want this to work this isn’t how you deal with a problem!“

Hajime was shocked to say the least.

“I thought she would have been someone to give you a wake up call and realize you don’t have to be so cold. And to think she actually cares for you....” disappointed was an understatement

“....I was afraid...”

“What?” Now Oikawa was just confused

“If I....if I had seen it coming she wouldn’t have been put in danger...” without another word he stands form his seat and leaves the room

“Damn him! He never listens!” Oikawa stomped his foot almost childlike.

Hajime walks to your old room and opens the door carefully. Peaking inside he sees your chest rising and falling slowly. Walking closer to you he could see how the moon reflected on the dry tear marks in your cheeks. On the vanity your necklace caught the light, shimmering every now and then.

He squats down to eye level with you and brushes some hair form your face. His heart had a slight pang seeing you like this.

“I can’t say this to you while you’re awake, but I was genuinely afraid of them taking you. I lost my parents and friends over the years....I’m not losing you either” he lays a kiss to your forehead and whispers against it “I’m sorry, please forgive me.” he pulled the covers over to keep you warm, he stands and walks back out of the room and calls over two guards.

“You already know what I want you both here for. Once she wakes escort her to where she what’s to go, and stay with her, understood?”

“Yes sir.” They stand their ground now, protecting by you as you slept. Hajime returns to his room and sits in front of his vanity. He removes his jewelry and strips form his clothing. The room felt heavy and empty without your presence. Without you cleaning up in the bathroom, or brushing your hair.

He slips under the covers and huffs out a breath. He looks to his left where you were supposed to be laying. His hand hesitantly reaches over and brings you pillow closer to him. It smelled of you, the gentle smell of flowers and soap filled his nose with delight. It should have been you in his arms, like that night you held him.

Oh how he loved being held and comforted, you more gentle then they had told him. He swore he would make it up to you, tomorrow was his chance to apologize. His chance to show you a different side of him, he can only hope you’ll accept his apology.

~~

His sleep was restless, he tossed and turned not able to stay asleep. Just as the sun was rising Hajime got out of bed and ran straight to Oikawa. He woke with a start from knocking at his door, he grumbled over to the door. He scowled looking at Hajime

“If you think saying sorry before sunrise is romantic you should think agai-“ he tried to close the door but was stopped by Hajime

“I need your help, I want to apologize to her today but I’m not sure how“ Oikawa crossed his arms and leans on the door frame 

“Two conditions“ he held up his two fingers  “One, you have to follow my plan and do it with your heart and soul, two, you need to tell her how you feel“

“....“

“Iwa...“

“Fine, where do we start?“ he asked. Oikawa smiles and walks past him, following him Oikawa leads him to the servant floor. He walks down to the last door, he recognized it as the one maid who has been here since he was a child.

Oikawa goes in and comes back about 2 minutes later. He came back with a young girl who was rubbing sleep from her eyes. As soon as she sees Hajime she wakes up and bows to hi m 

“Good morning you majesty-“

“You don’t have to Rose but we do need your help“ Oikawa lifts her and cups her face “can you?“ she nods and he kisses her nose

“...Since wh-“

“Off we go!“ he was cut off being dragged down the hall into Oikawa’s plan. Hopefully this won’t make his position with you worse than it already was.

°°°° °°°° °°°°

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