#you ARE talking about a real situation that effects real people

[cjrae]

Tragedy of the Jade Nightingale. Or: My thoughts on Vol. 11 of the Apothecary Diaries.

Given that this volume just came out in English a few days ago, spoilers under the cut!

I usually think of the Apothecary Diaries volumes as pairs - usually two volumes make up an arc. If so, Volume 11 will be the first half of the arc with 12, but it also functions beautifully as a tragedy in it's own right.

** I will be only discussing information appearing officially through Vol. 11. Yes, I have read the fan translations of the web novels, but given that details can change, until it appears in official English translation, I won't yet be including it here.

The Hero

Gyoku-ou. Talk about someone who thinks he's smarter than he actually is. We knew this guy was a threat all the way back in Vol. 8, with how Gyokuyou reacted to her brother's letter and his veiled insult of sending a younger version of herself to catch either her husband's attention or the Imperial Brother's. Now we get to see him in action and he's scary - right up until he's not.

This man is charismatic as anything - he understands what makes people tick on both an individual level as well as a social level. His ability to wield a mob effectively makes him extremely dangerous, but I'm oddly put in mind of Lakan's initial impression of Fengxian. "This woman is strong, but she only knows how to fight in her own, small world."

The world Gyoku-ou inhabits is a very small, petty one. You can see it in his conspiracy theory about Jinshi's birth.

Jinshi is one of two people Gyoku-ou fails to read. When he brings Lakan and Jinshi to his puppet council to gauge support for attacking Shaoh, he thinks he's got a young malcontent in his hands, someone who wants power and is prone to the flashes of temper and insult that often drive young men. Someone who is easily manipulated. Instead, Jinshi mops the floor with him in that meeting, cutting Lakan's support out from under Gyoku-ou and making it clear that his priority is peace above war.

This doesn't take away from Gyoku-ou's political genius - this meeting teaches him that Jinshi has to be maneuvered around, rather than maneuvered directly. If the Imperial Brother doesn't want to play his part, then too bad. Gyoku-ou will see to it that Jinshi is hedged in all directions except where he wants him to go - which is to war. And even then, he's got a fight on his hands as Jinshi fully takes advantage of Empress Gyokuyou's information to undercut Gyoku-ou's support within his own family.

It's a mark of Jinshi's political skill that Gyoku-ou's move in that family council is to flirt with treason. If he can't maneuver the Imperial family through Jinshi, then he shifts tactics to turn Jinshi (and the rest of the Imperial Family) into the villain of his piece - a prince born and raised into utter depravity.

Let's just sit with what Gyoku-ou suggests to the rest of his siblings (minus the Empress) in that meeting. He implies that the Emperor impregnated his own mother in order to produce an heir. A son that he loves so dearly (and unnaturally) that he would willingly look the other way while Jinshi murders his other children in order to make sure that his brother-son-lover succeeds the throne.

This is a brilliant examination of how the bare facts of the situation can be construed by people with very different motivations to fit whatever worldview is most convenient for them. I'm a fan of the palace politics in this series because they feel very real.

Gyoku-ou doesn't lie once. But boy does he create a narrative that suits his purposes and dares anyone (namely Rikuson) to tell Jinshi. He is escalating the situation and he's doing it fast, while also challenging the legitimacy of the Imperial Family. A fact which, if it does get back to Jinshi (or the Emperor), could get the entire new You Clan wiped out just as fast as the Yi Clan was. This scene functions as a microcosm of Gyoku-ou's two fundamental character flaws; his short term thinking and his utter self-absorption.

Becoming The Wind

Since Rikuson was introduced in Vol. 5, he's been a mirror for Jinshi. He's a "pretty boy," calm under pressure, fundamentally kind and decent to other people while also being extremely competent at his job. Unlike Jinshi, he's also a bit older and more mature. He also clearly admires Maomao and sees the qualities that make her exceptional, despite her various masks.

As it turns out, Rikuson mirrors Jinshi in another important sense too - he also has a secret identity. The Yi Clan were the de facto royalty of the Western Capital and Rikuson is one of the direct survivors of the clan. He was never in the line of succession given the Yi Clan's matrilineal structure. But they were quick enough to save some of the children, namely Rikuson and Empress Gyokuyou's three ladies in waiting, Haku'u, Koku'u and Seki'u.

Rikuson, who was Gyoku-ou's excuse to trick His Former Majesty into giving him the authorization to destroy the Yi Clan. Rather than truly being an bastard Imperial prince, he's a young pawn in Gyoku-ou's hands to whip up an armed mob to hunt Rikuson down - and his mother and sister give their lives to ensure his survival - not for vengeance, but so that the Yi Clan's mission of protecting the west will live on even if the named clan itself dies. So, like Jinshi, he is dedicated to the welfare of the people above all else.

The trouble with relying on an unruly mob is that it's sloppy. Gyoku-ou left multiple survivors and they have absolutely no love for him. He's left weapons at his back.

Rikuson is the other person Gyoku-ou utterly fails to read. He spends well over a year back in his homeland, working for Gyoku-ou as an aide ostensibly from the central region, patiently waiting for an opening - even as Gyoku-ou, who knows that Rikuson has to be assigned to the west with some kind of ulterior motive, is so blind that he thinks he must be a secret member of the La Clan, rather than the Yi boy he tried to kill seventeen years earlier.

Rikuson represents the culmination Gyoku-ou's short term thinking in that he doesn't bother to think about the threat of any surviving Yi clan might pose to him.

He will not insult his mother's memory, or his sister's. But if his mission of protecting the west coincides with vengeance for his family? Sure enough, Gyoku-ou's insistence on going to war (and dragging the Imperial family's legitimacy into his motivations) gives Rikuson his opening; especially because he isn't a vigilante.

He is acting under orders.

The New You

Rikuson's point about Gyoku-ou's life being a tragedy hits home when you consider Gyokuyou's thoughts of how she knows her father loves her - but would also abandon her in a heartbeat if she is no longer valuable to him. Unlike her older brother, she has a very clear-eyed view of how their father operates and focuses on making sure that her value never drops in his eyes.

Gyoku-ou's value to Gyoku'en plummeted the day he destroyed the Yi Clan - Gyoku'en's family. He was given a second chance to show that he could still perform the single function of the men of the Yi Clan - to protect the west. When he endangered it instead, Gyoku'en sent the weapon he'd spent seventeen years preparing (Rikuson) with an execution order.

By first destroying the Yi Clan and then following it up with a proposed invasion of Shaoh, Gyoku-ou proved to Gyoku'en that he was no son of his. Given how desperate he was to be his father's son, this whole book is a tragedy in the classic sense. The Jade Nightingale was so desperate to reinvent himself as a Jade Eagle that he destroyed himself in pursuit of the one thing he never lost - his father's love. But, to be his father's heir, what he needed was Gyoku'en's trust and respect, not his love.

And he killed that seventeen years ago along with the Yi Clan.

Ironically, the foreign born girl that he despised and attempted to undermine at every opportunity, emerges as their father's true heir and mother of the nation, with the rest of the surviving Yi clan as part of her loyal retinue.

In her triumph, the Yi Clan is reborn as the You Clan as Gyoku'en, a Yi man, is given a clan name on the strength of Gyokuyou's role as Empress. So much of their history has been lost, down to the matrilineal succession and family records, but their mission lives on through the Yi men who will continue to protect the west, no matter the personal cost to themselves. There is no room for self-absorption here, therefore Gyoku-ou has no place in their new clan.

Also, a parallel to pay attention to is how the destruction of the Yi Clan and the Shi Clan are mirroring each other with the children being saved. The Yi Clan is reborn with a new name, which leads one to wonder what the consequences of saving those Shi children will be long term.

A Dagger In The Dark

Gyoku-ou sucks up a lot of air in Vol. 11 because he is driving the action - Jinshi, Maomao and their party are all stuck reacting to him, except for one character; Chue.

We see Chue attach herself to Maomao starting with the ship and it's not difficult to guess that just as Lihaku is serving as a discreet bodyguard for Maomao on Jinshi's orders, Chue is also there as protection. Chue doesn't try to conceal that she is clearly trained in espionage either.

Rikuson's proposal to Maomao is not a serious bid for her hand, but nor is it a joke - it's a message to Chue that Jinshi needs to tighten security around Maomao. As he puts it, he knows the "hyper protective" elements around her will close ranks. Because he's foreseen a strategy that may not have yet occurred to Gyoku-ou (who tends not to pay attention to the bit parts of the play), but if it does would almost certainly push the country into war.

Maomao is the lever that could move both Lakan and Jinshi.

All he has to do is kill her and make it look like a foreign attack. Lakan's instinctive ability to read a situation and Jinshi's formidable investigative skills would likely be dulled in the face of their rage and grief. Especially since they are technically Gyoku-ou's guests and don't have freedom of movement to push the issue.

Rikuson seizes his opportunity before Gyoku-ou can continue to escalate, but he realizes quickly that Chue arranged the stage and was there as both spy and backup assassin. (I think it's safe to say that Gyoku-ou's conspiracy theory AND that Yi family ledger will be reported, given that we know there were ladies-in-waiting at the meeting and that's how Chue was disguised - and she didn't actually promise to dispose of it).

Gyoku-ou doesn't bother to think that while the Emperor may be far away and the Imperial Brother is a manageable threat, that the people surrounding Jinshi may not be bound by his strictures. Hence, Chue was on standby. No matter what, Gyoku-ou was never going to make it to that ritual. He was never smart enough to realize that his crossing the line would be never be forgiven.

While Jinshi would order an execution if necessary (and has in the past), he would never order an assassination. Therefore, it's evident that Chue reports to someone else. Who that someone is, we don't know, but there's only one person further up the Imperial tree than Jinshi, so it would be reasonable for Rikuson to assume that the Emperor has placed additional protection around not just Jinshi, but Maomao.

Exclusive: Baby Swap!

Jinshi's birth is not a secret to the audience and while Maomao doesn't have confirmation, she's pretty certain of her suspicion. This volume made it patently obvious that there are others out there who are perfectly capable of putting the pieces together, even if the details are twisted.

Let's return to Gyoku-ou's conspiracy theory.

He's put together all the correct pieces. The Emperor's attitude toward Jinshi makes no sense in a traditional palace setting - a much younger, handsome, charismatic and competent brother? That's a threat to the Emperor and his direct line. But Jinshi is never treated that way - instead he's indulged on many fronts.

He's allowed to duck most of his official duties as Ka Zuigetsu (except for a few he can't, where he appears masked).

He's allowed to pretend to be a eunuch for six years and run the Rear Palace.

When he finally reveals himself to the court to put down the Shi Rebellion, he's described as "hale" and "just as proficient in the military arts as the administrative." (More proof that Jinshi is NOT the best judge of his own abilities). He emerges fully formed into court politics - a perfectly trained Crown Prince - only to have a newborn given the title instead.

Gyoku-ou deliberately put the worst possible spin on these facts. I suspect the rest of the You siblings are going to keep their mouths shut about Gyoku-ou's ugly theory, but if he could think of it, if Maomao could think of it with just seeing Jinshi standing next to Lady Ah-Duo, then so can others.

Maomao can be mad about Jinshi branding himself all she wants, but it's currently looking like an absolutely BRILLIANT move on Jinshi's part. Whatever doubts Gyoku-ou managed to plant about Jinshi and the Emperor's motives with the rest of the You clan siblings, Empress Gyokuyou is not likely to entertain it.

Also, it got the Emperor to essentially "banish" Jinshi to the edges of the Empire shortly after his new Crown Prince was born, which makes it look to other members of the court like the Emperor is taking steps to rein in his younger brother and balances the factions that have to be forming back in the capital.

This is not a secret that can be kept forever. No matter how careful Ah-Duo and Anshi were, the information is starting to leak out around the edges, as we see that the Empress' ladies in waiting that were dismissed clearly had eyes and ears - and in at least one case, a loose tongue.

The next arc is being seeded and Jinshi is inching closer and closer to that throne. He ran the Rear Palace for years (essentially managing the nation in microcosm) and as of the end of Vol. 11, he's now stepping up to govern a province and gain actual ruling experience while also having suppressed a war.

I've said before that Jinshi ascending the throne is the bad ending - if there is a single person who is more trapped by the palace than the prince, it's the emperor. We'll see what happens!

[glassesntea]

Levi and female!reader developing a relationship (Canon Universe)

Part 2/2

How your foolish idealism land you into the Survey Corps

After your guard duty he invited you to a tavern where he has gathered some of your comrades. Sat on a bench with other soldiers you listened to Floch musing about the situation of the island.

"Commander Hanji shows too much trust in these outsiders. She is far too lenient and for what? A technological advancement? As if it can erase a century of being nothing else but meat for Titans."

The others grumbled an agreement. Many in the army were not happy about the government's plan: working with the Marleyans was challenging at best and you were wary about Hizuru's involvement.

Mikasa hadn't said a thing to you regarding her official meeting with Kyomi's delegation, but the somber shadows in her eyes suggested that they weren't the allies you all hoped for. In the end, the island was alone against the world. Pretending otherwise would have been stupid.

Was it really possible at this point to really trust anyone who didn't suffer as the people on the island?

Floch invited you out with his group several other times.

You hung around with them, exchanging the same worries, and it was during one of your convos that you first met Levi Ackerman.

You all were in the mess hall, finishing the supper before the afternoon drill. It seemed that the new recruits would've been training with the infamous Captain of the Survey Corps.

Up to this point you and the others have never met him. Floch and some other soldiers that followed him religiously knew him pretty well.

"He really is that strong?" You asked, and you saw Floch's face produce a tiny grimance "What?" You tilted your head but his expression turned neutral once again.

"He is." He said, drinking from his mug "But not enough, if you want my opinion."

You frowned "What do you mean?"

"I mean that letting your personal feelings play a role in life or death's situations could potentially waste other's sacrifices," he looked at you "and doom everyone else as a result. That's his weakness: he cares far too much. "

"But he effectively guided the soldiers through difficult times. And since he joined the military the percentage of death outside the Walls has decreased a lot. It seems to me that he knows what he's doing and he takes objective decisions."

Floch pressed his lips together, abruptly turning his head to the side "And yet a single foolish decision may have changed everything. And what are we gonna do at this point?"

It seemed something personal, this veiled distate tinged with anger, but you didn't have the time to pry further that a scuffle broke out at your table.

Two boys of your cadet's regiment that participate to Floch's little assemble have started to push one another after shotting up of their seats. You have heard their mumbled conversation getting progressivly more heated while speaking with Floch. One was your friend but the other you couldn't stand him since the training day.

"Oi!" snapped Floch "Quit it, already!"

You stand up, gripping your friend's arm and putting a hand on the other's chest "Stop it, you two, you want a squad leader to put you on stable duty?"

"This moron has the gall to feel pity for fucking Marleyans POW when you Wall Rose people looked down on us when these fuckers brought down Shiganshina. You left us starving in the street!" He pointed at your friend "And now you talk about pity?!"

You lightly pushed him when he tried to come closer "Cut it, Otto. He isn't guilty of what happened then. We shouldn't..."

"Mind your buisness, Y/N! Always getting in the way, alway flaunting your good nature bullshit act as if we don't see how much of a poser you actually are."

You rolled your eyes "Wow, straight for the throat? Tell me something you haven't already said to me in training."

"Gladly." He hissed, ignoring Floch's call for order "You and Franz pretend to be, oh so good, but you know nothing of real suffer. You are nothing more than a Sheena bitch" he shoved you "that grew tired of fucking rich boys and wanted to see misery like it's the next exciting thing before sweeping in and proclaim to have the solution for everything. We are not your fucking playground for you to feel pleased with yourself!" He shoved you harder and Franz shouted and bolted forward just for him to be hitted by a punch.

However you were able to intercept Otto's arm when he retracted it and you twisted your body to slam him on the table, back first.

Otto spranged to his feet, ready to retaliate. Your fist closing, your arm pushed back ready to collide with his smaug face, but someone clasped your wrist thightly and before you knew, Otto was sent tumbling on the floor by a swift kick in the stomach.

You turned around, startled. A short man with a dark undercut, dressed with the old Survey Corp uniform, was looking at Otto weezing in pain. The mess hall was eerily quite.

He lifted his eyes, letting go of your wrist "Care to explain why you three were bawling like lunatics?"

Levi Ackerman. You have seen his portrait on newspapers. He was a legend in the military. And you realized that he must have seen your three make a fool out of yourselves and throwing fists like foolish children.

"I asked you a question."

You composed yourself "My apologize, sir. I didn’t mean to cause a ruckus.”

You looked down at Otto, rolling on the floor and groaning, holding his stomach as if it threatened to spill out. You winced, bringing your eyes again on the Captain’s.

“He… uh… he started to insult me and my comrade. I…”

Levi crossed his arms “And you body slam him onto the table because of it?” He turned to Floch “What did he said?”

Floch was less than thrilled to be dragged into the mess and he shot you a dirty look before answering “He said Wall Sheena’s brats shouldn’t talk about how hard life is since the Fall of Maria.”

It was a pretty sanitized version of the truth, but the core was legitimate. You winced again, fuck I’m such an idiot.

“So you hit him because he badmouthed you,” his voice was dry as a leaf “that’s a pitiful excuse, if I’ve ever heard one.”

“Captain, I…”

“You three are soldiers now, not tugs ready to rip each other apart just because your pride got hurt.” He lowered his stare to the groaning figure “Get up. I fully expect you all to be this lively in today’s training as well.”

He called for everyone in the room “Everyone out. Start with ten laps around the perimeter.”

“Yes, sir!”

“Regarding you three, I hope you don’t mind the smell of horse shit, bacause you will shovel it around for two weeks.” He turned his back to you after your response and you ran outside the mess hall with your cheeks burning in hot shame.

That was humiliating, but served you right for not thinking things through.

Your first meet with Levi went on like this: as a mumbling brutish idiot who kept on smelling manure on the clothes for the following weeks.

To be continued...

[captainofthetidesbreath]

Not sure if I'm still in time for the asks but what is your favorite thing about your ex-husband?

My beautiful and charming ex-husband Jonas Spahr, the last—former and final—Prime Consector of the Trust! He has many wonderful and interesting qualities, but the one that I like most is that he was not until very recently someone I would describe as in possession of a spine.

This is an odd choice on its face, but it's my favorite because it is the crux and (hah) spine of his character and his arc, that he does not really have one. I've written recently a post about his narrative passivity and in the past another about that passivity as a connecting parallel between two keystone scenes. I've talked a LOT about this, and a lot of this is going to be generally repeating those posts, but I'm going for it anyway because I'm obsessed with his narrative passivity and how much work he puts into maintaining his inaction.

His historical inability to dig his heels in and eagerness to come to heel ("The Trust has you on a fuckin' leash.") is such an interesting quality against his simultaneous struggle to feel like he has agency and power over his own life and choices. It's interesting to watch him fight against a very real lack of authority and agency within the institution he serves and for which he acts as its agent among the people while watching him repeatedly shrink back into line and watch him realize that he has been purposefully enabling, allowing, and ignoring what goes on in front of him and deferring his own agency.

It's also such a fun thing about him because it feels to stand in stark juxtaposition against an apparent stubbornness and a clear capacity for conviction. He has moments where he so clearly has strongly held beliefs—and then he's so easily cowed into backing off from fighting for them. This is a man who refused to defend himself at his own trial where the government he betrayed himself for blamed him for everything that's ever gone wrong for them in the series: he simply apologized for it all. There is a sense about him that he can be incredibly decisive and effective, but he spends so much of the narrative uncertain and ineffective in everything he does or is part of because of this tendency. (In a way, he splits the difference between his mentor Costigan and his mentee Phineas.) The few times he does choose to do something, he loses momentum because he is easily frightened out of it. He lacks spine! The contradiction is fascinating to me. He's trapped in place as a narrative actor. Everything he does is in vain or futile. It is because he is maintaining and protecting his own passivity and allowing or facilitating nasty events as a means to maintain social position, even as he hates feeling trapped out of what happens around him.

It's also just SO fun because when he HAS finally done something, it's again a refusal and an immovability. But, this time, it is an active action to refuse to do as told and a choice to stand fixed in place and halt a lot of the momentum of the situation.

Jonas Spahr, for so much of the series, is weak-willed, timid, and irresolute, and it's one of my favorite things about him because it's added a lot of depth to his character and made for an interesting arc. It has been so satisfying watching him learn to dig his heels in rather than heel.

[altschmerzes]

okay actually post by a friend has me thinking about this now and i do gotta say while idk how i really feel about the donor arc on this season of 911 what i DO know is there’s a whole lot of people in posts ive seen talking in an extremely implicitly or explicitly derogatory way about the concept and function of assisted reproduction and that is something id really prefer the fandom as a whole sit with for a second and examine their biases about and where that’s coming from before making their snarky text posts perhaps

[kaidanalenkosprmanager]

THE BEST OF THE NORMANDY SUMMIT

Featuring: Cmdr. Sophie Shepard, Primarch Adrien Victus, Dalatrass Linron, and Urdnot Wrex With: Comm. Specialist Samantha Traynor Commander, you need to keep Cerberus at bay- I can't overstate what a victory a treaty between the Turians and the Krogan would be for the Alliance. We need all the help we can get... Mass Effect 3: Legendary Edition (2021)

[stellacadente]

and that's on top of pinning my distress and suffering and the awful time i'm going thru on the fact i'm on hrt

[mashpotatoe]

im a white jew, i was born in israel,

ive lived there all my life and was brought up in an environment that fosters racism driven by nationalism, nationalism driven by racism.

in israel, they teach you jews and muslims (though usually, they just say arabs) have always been enemies, the same way the US deems the entire middle east as a inherent war zone, ridding them of the responsibility for perpetuating war in thst region.

they tell you "were the fair and humane side who strives for peace! its the arabs who never accept the offer!"

i remember the first time i began doubting that sentiment was in fourth grade, when we were having a discussion in class about the character of Saul from the Torah. the teacher was talking about how Saul, the first monarch of the Kingdom of Israel, used to fight the Philistines, and when she added that the Philistines were the natural enemy of the Israelites, she asked the class what group of people is their modern equivalent to which everyone very eagerly replied "Arabs!" and nevermind that there in that same class sat two arab boys, one of whom sat next to me, who i looked at and thought "but he isnt my enemy? hes just a boy in my class."

they teach you to hate arabs. sometimes they say it outright. sometimes they say it more carefully, or make a distinction between good and bad arabs, those who are with us and those who are against us.

in a state based on the idea of (white) jewish supremacy, they teach you jews are naturally superior. they use the conspiratorial narrative of "jews controlling the world" to their favor, giving their own watered down explanation for why antisemitism exists, saying that it must be driven by jealousy.

the zionist movement always used antisemitism to its advantage, either for reinforcing the notion of jewish supremacy or appealing to the real pain and trauma of generations, people who survived the holocaust, connecting them to stolen land where they are "guaranteed" safety ergo granting "justification" for the suffering of others.

its using peoples real pain that makes fear mongering so effective, and when the israeli population grows up being told all of their neighboring countries want to kill them, they quickly get defensive of the "only land where they can feel safe", but the only explanation ever provided for Why these neighboring countries are considered enemies is because theyre arabs.

and when it comes to palestine, it isnt even recognized as a country, nor identity. just a threat. ive talked to many people who are genuinely unaware of the occupation, and they arent willing to believe it either, because the media narrative has successfully shifted the blame on hamas. because "how could it be us? we want peace! its the terrorists who make us look bad! and their children, they grow up to be antisemites*, might as well get rid of them too!" they never stop to think what environment these children must grow up in to develop these "radical" ideas.

* what they mean by antisemite is really just antizionist, but the term anti/zionist isnt practiced in local dialect, being a zionist is treated as a given

any jew who stands against israels oppression is dubbed a self hating jew, but the biggest contributors to antisemitism is the people in charge of an ethnostate, because at any moment they could decide who is not white enough to be jewish, who is too jewish to be white, who stood against the current coalition government and who is an obedient dog.

israelis arent a monolith, but many of them have been won over, convinced its an "us v them" situation, when in reality it could never be the "us" that "loses"

the israeli government was waiting for an event like the massacre on the seventh of october to declare war, to have the so called "right to defend itself", so they could initiate the final steps of an ethnic genocide and displace, if not kill, all remaining palestinians. under the guise of bringing peace.

it isnt too late to call for a permanent ceasefire, to end the occupation.

please contact your representatives, attend protests and rallies if you are able. palestine will be free, and the flowers will rise again.

[wearenotjustnumbers2]

Hello, a little rant here. I don't know whether people are becoming insensitive or I'm just taking things very seriously these times, but I beg of you, when I post about an update on the situation in Gaza, or about a lost life or any piece of news that is most likely horrifying and heartbreaking, do not repost or reblog with "yikes" or "real bullshit" or whatever goes in the same line. It just makes it seem so trivial when in fact it's world-shattering. Not to mention the horrible edits I see on Instagram/tiktok.

I literally came across an "Instagram reel" of my friend's UNCLE (who lost three of his kids, and was saying his goodbyes while they were in body bags), it was edited into a reel, with the effects and changing colors and the trending sound of the song "daylight by David kushner". I was speechless.

I know people show their solidarity differently, I know this. Especially through music, I've literally been listening to Samer songs as well as "Telk Qadieah", etc. But the edit I saw was way too much. I don't know how to explain it, because I've seen many reels of Palestinians in Gaza grieving and I thought it's important to share them but this one is different. It was like the edits you'd make for characters from a TV show or movie that died or had a sad storyline.

I don't know, maybe I'm overreacting but I genuinely feel like I'm going crazy. With everything going on and how it seems like some people are living in a parallel world rn.

I hope I don't get misunderstood, I'm not talking about the general clips with sometimes sad songs on them, I'm talking about certain edits the people started to make that are so weird and insensitive. Like the people they're editing aren't real, like they're some entertainment material.

[nsomniacsdream]

I have a hard time talking about American law enforcement, because I have ptsd (like a therapist told me this and everything) from my own experiences with cops and because it's so balls quaking insane.

Like, a cop in the United States can pull you over for any reason. Which is a nice way of saying no reason, because literally anything can be used after the fact as justification. A cop can say its cuz you looked at him, or didnt look at him, or it looked like you were holding something, or looked like you were driving too perfectly for it to be natural. It's insane.

There are apparently no circumstances where a cop can't just kill you. The line the courts have applied is "reasonably believed" you were a threat, but that's such a nebulous nothing limit that people get shot for reaching for their license, having their phone in their hand, you're running away with no weapon, not being able to follow conflicting commands, like anything. And cops are almost never charged, because every court is going to believe he could "reasonably believe" he was threatened. Fuck, if you give me enough time, I can make any situation seem juuuuust plausibly threatening enough to pass that bar. It's insane.

A cop can just rob you. Like tell you to give him your wallet, take all the cash out, and just walk away with it. Exactly like you would imagine getting robbed in an alley would go, except no one can help. And he doesn't even have to hide it, he just drops it in a box at the station and they put it in their bank account. It's legal. You can't prove it wasn't drug money. I can't prove any money wasn't at some point drug money. It's insane.

If a cop just walks in your front door and says "I'm here to kill you and your entire family" YOU ARE GOING TO PRISON IF YOU STOP HIM. There is no positive defense for assaulting a police officer in the United States, and doubly so if you kill him. You have effectively no defense against a homicidal cop, which happens same as any other job. Unless for some reason you have cameras all thru your house and clearly caught the audio of him saying that he's there just to kill you, you have zero chance of not going to prison, probably for life. And that's assuming you aren't killed "resisting arrest" while being taken into custody. It is a crime, in this country, for you to defend yourself under any circumstances if the person you're defending yourself from is a cop. That's insane.

You don't have civil rights if a cop says so. You have the right to have a gun, right? A lot of states have open carry. A cop can shoot you if he sees you have a gun. Doesn't matter if you have a license and everything. So you effectively don't have the right to bear arms if a cop can shoot you for exercising it. You have the right to protest. Unless a cop tells you to stop. He doesn't need a real reason to tell you to stop. And if you don't stop, you can be arrested or shot. So you don't really have the right to protest, do you? A cop cant just search your car or house, right? Unless he claims he heard something, or smelled something, neither of which can be proven. So a cop can search whatever he wants, as long as he pretends there was a "reason". So you dont have protection from unreasonable search and seizure, do you? These are no longer rights- they're things the cops allow.. for now. But legally, those rights have already been found to not actually be rights, because any random cop can decide to take that right from you, for any reason. It's insane.

These aren't like crazy things that I'm just making up, these aren't some weird twisted way I'm looking at something, these are all very real things that we all just.. ignore? Police abolitionists and the media bring these things up all the time, and the overwhelming response to it is: so what? Don't break the law and it won't matter. Blue lives matter. More police funding. Cops should have tanks. It's insane. And I always feel like im just rambling and sound insane when I say this kind of stuff because if you wrote a book and had the dystopian government doing the stuff that the police in this country do every single day, those same people who "back the blue" would line up to say stuff like "*Books government* wouldnt have a chance before us real americans stopped them" on twitter and not even get a hint of the irony.

[play-now-my-lord]

serenely remembering the moment when isabel fall published "helicopter story" aka "i sexually identify as an attack helicopter", which instantiated harassment from her clouty new-wave scifi friends that radiated outwards into transmisogynist scifi normies and became so severe she wound up in inpatient. people took up the cause of the story in the name of "free artistic expression" and "speaking difficult truths", which was not incorrect but which was kind of missing the forest for the trees in that specific situation: the age-old game of "kill the baby trans girl out of professional jealousy, farm clout off of doing it". the roles could have been completely reversed - the transmisogynist acquaintances could have been writing edgy outsider lit and could have been encouraging mass harassment against her for being a tenderqueer sellout (i swear to god i have seen this shit too). effect would have been the same.

when trans women in FSF talk about this shit, they usually talk about it from the angles of "censorious tenderqueers tried to kill someone over a story" or, in the most sympathetic voice i've seen out of someone in journalism, "public pressure functionally forced this exciting trans writer back into the closet". but they generally miss the degree to which it was intimate, personal transmisogynist violence, which bled into and intersected with the logics of mob justice, of "community safety" (remember, part of the substance of the accusations was that she was a stealth nazi, which frankly knowing a little about both the accusers and IF herself I can say confidently was not just vacuous but knowingly vacuous, them lying through their teeth), and again, professional jealousy.

i have seen people who crowed the loudest about what got done to IF do it to other people. it's the easiest thing in the world, and it happens all the time, and you can do it whenever you want - try and have some weird tranny rival or inconvenient tranny ex-friend killed - and it engenders no moral stain, no whispers, no reputation. i think they don't even have a conception that they're hypocrites. why would they? nothing that happens to anyone like that is real. human life is cheap if it's in the wrong body. everything they hold is stolen, everything they are is negotiable, for everything they do someone else surely deserves the credit. why not you? don't you deserve it more?

[chaepink]

DAY 16: CLOUDED WITH LUST | SEX POLLEN

aki finds himself in the hands of the lust devil who takes an interest in him

⋆ ࣪. ❤︎ PAIRING ⸻ aki hayakawa x lust devil!reader

⋆ ࣪. ❤︎ WARNINGS ⸻ dom!reader, sex pollen, noncon turned dubcon, hand job, begging, exhibitionism kink, praise, ooc aki kinda, the word dick mentioned way too many times

⋆ ࣪. ❤︎ WORDS ⸻ 1.7k words

⋆ ࣪. ❤︎ NOTE ⸻ so fyi reader is a devil that feeds off lust & could change appearances

KINKTOBER EVENT

"shit shit shit." Aki runs through the streets of the area where he was told to arrive, eyes darting left and right. While he's usually serious and calm, the devil he was assigned to find and exterminate is causing him trouble, proving to be a rather difficult one and could cause serious trouble if it were to reveal itself to the public.

Minutes ago he had his eye on it but foolishly enough, he got focused on talking to teammates and when he looked back to the spot it was supposed to be, it was nowhere to be seen.

Aki takes a short glance at the paper in his hands, quickly rereading the data about the devil he was to get rid of.

Apparently the devil is able to emit a sort of scent that quickly makes those who inhale want to engage in sexual activity and can shapeshift into different people as well. They can be found in dark alleyways where its easier to find victims.

As he turns and finds a dark alleyway, he sees a person walking towards him. He furrows his eyebrows as he slowly walks closer to them, his guard high.

However, as he gets closer he can't help but notice how attractive the person is as he feels his face warm up.

"Excuse me?"

The person pauses their walking and tilts their head in confusion, turning their head around and back to him as if they're not sure if he said that to them or not.

Aki walks up to them and gives them a short nod.

"Have you seen anything strange around here? Or have you heard anything about a possible devil around this area? Specifically a lust devil."

"The lust devil? Well that sounds oddly familiar..." He sees you turn to him with a smile, one that has him unease. While it looks like one of mere innocence, it seems as if its hiding something.

Aki widens his eyes and your smile turns into a sly grin. But its too late.

Before he can do anything, he smells something sweet around him as a thick, pink fog surrounds him. The effects are quick, he remembers reading about them on the paper.

He feels his body heat up and sweat as his dick hardens. He stumbles onto a wall, trying to back away from you. He feels significantly weaker, his legs almost feeling like jelly. In this state, he knows he won't be able to run away.

Raising his hand to use his contract with the fox devil, he opens his mouth but you quickly realize what he's trying to do and with almost inhumane speed, you rush towards him and pin his waists above his head. Aki sneers at you as you give him a grin.

"Well I can't have you using that, can I? That'll be no fun."

"l-let me go!" He begins thrashing in your hold like a disobedient child and you frown. The sweet scent in the air that you released has him feeling dizzy and sticky with sweat. He begins to realize that your hold on him is too strong and turns his head to look around for ways he could escape once he attacks you instead.

But a small touch of your hand palming his clothed dick has him pausing. He gasps.

"w-what are you doing?" He looks at you with widened eyes as you raise an eyebrow at the question. "What does it look like I'm doing?"

You slowly pull down the zipper of his pants, making aki's breath go ragged. Your human appearance has his thoughts messed up about the situation as it almost feels like you're a real person.

He watches as your teeth drags over your teeth, a look of something like hunger in your eyes. He shivers at the feeling of being your prey being his mind.

"Looks like I got a pretty one today." Aki lets out a gasp when he feels his dick in your hands, the cold air making him shiver. "Already hard?" He curses at himself but blames it on that fog thing. He opens his mouth to yell at you but nothing comes out, the words dying on his tongue for some reason.

"Don't worry it won't hurt," you say, hovering your mouth near his ear. "Well, for me at least." Aki winces when you squeeze his dick but he soon lets out a whine when your thumb grazes over the tip. He feels your teeth drag against the top of his ear almost as if you're going to bite it and Aki has to hold back a gasp.

A part of his mind screams at him to try to fight back, to not give in to the pleasure. But another part tells him to just give in. It's been a while since someone touched him like this and the sweet fog you're emitting along with the way you're playing with his dick has his senses overwhelmed. He feels so much more sensitive and it just feels too good, even when you've barely done anything.

When you notice the foggy look in his eyes and the way he stops protesting against your hold, you know you've gotten him where you wanted him to be.

"It feels good, doesn't it?" Aki hesitantly nods, your touches on his dick sending shocks of pleasure up his body. You begin lazily pumping his dick with your fist and notice how immediately turns to putty in your grasp. Letting go of his wrists to put your hand on his waist, you're surprised to see Aki wrap his arms around your neck to stabilize himself. His legs feel so weak and his body feels too hot for him to handle.

"Can.. Can you go faster? Please?" Though he quietly mumbles it, you're able to hear a bit of it and chuckle at his eagerness.

"Faster? Didn't you tell me to let you go earlier?" The teasing look in your eyes as you look at him has Aki send a glare at you but the glare lacks any heat. Rather the glare is begging you to just make him feel good.

"Well?" You pause your hand on his dick. "If you want me to touch you, then beg for it like a good boy."

This is embarrassing, he thinks. No way he would beg a devil for anything, much less beg a lust devil to touch him. His pride is too big for that and he would much rather fight you than have you do this to him.

But even when those thoughts and more pass through his head, the words that escape his mouth are the exact opposite.

"Touch me, please! I-I need it so bad-" He feels your hand return back to his throbbing dick and he lets out a hiss at the pain when you begin pumping it. The pace you set has him throwing his head back against the wall behind him, pleasure overwhelming his body.

"Good boy." He whines at the praise. You feel his pre cum leak out of his dick and soil your hand, the wet sound of it only fueling you more.

His moans and whines flood the alleyway and your ego swells at the sight. You're merely giving a handjob yet you have him turned into a mess in front of you.

He shoves his head in the crook of your neck, muffling his noises and you coo at him. "What? Feels too good with my hand on your dick? You're close to cumming or something?"

Your finger trails along the underside of his dick to his tip and Aki covers his mouth to silence a choked moan. You feel him begin to thrust into the hole your hand made.

"S-Shut up." You let out a disapproving noise. "That's not what you say to someone who's making you feel good. I could just leave you here, you know?"

Fuck, he forgot that you and him are just in a random alleyway and if someone were to pass the area, they would surely catch a glimpse of what's happening. He feels his dick twitch in your hands at the thought and you grin.

Before he could answer, the grip on his waist goes to his hair and he lets out a mewl when you yank his hair back. He squeezes his eyes in pain, the nearby sound of cars and people making him awfully aware of his surroundings. The sinful noise of your hand on his dick doesn't make it any better either.

"Tell me when you're close, alright?" He nods and whimpers when your pace quickens. His knees buckle underneath him and your hand goes back to his waist.

"I-I'm close." You pretend to think about letting him cum or not and he widens his eyes. "Nonono let me cum, please! I'm s-so close ah! o-oh god please!" The noises he's letting out and the way he's pleading you for release is adorable.

"Well, I guess you've been good, haven't you? Go on then, cum for me." Aki nods and he thanks you over and over again for letting him cum before throwing his head back, a scream racking his body as his orgasm crashes down on him.

"O-Oh shit, thankyouthankyou." His eyes roll back and you watch as cum shoots out of his dick, making a mess on his collared shirt and his pants. He whimpers as he finally cums in what felt like forever.

You slow down your pace, easing him through his orgasm. The sight has you breathless.

Aki has his head thrown back against the wall as his cum stains his clothes, the substance dripping down his dick and onto the ground underneath. His hair is ruffled due to you and his shirt is wrinkled. But nonetheless, he still looked like a pretty sight to behold.

Aki manages to recompose himself and stand up properly.

"Well I had fun with you and I'm sure you did too." You glance at the mess he made and Aki's face burns with embarrassment.

You quickly throw him a kiss before turning the corner and disappearing, leaving Aki to think about what exactly just happened to him. The smell of you still lingers in the air, leaving him to find out a way to find you again.

Later when he returns back to his team, his teammate turns to him with widened eyes. "Where have you been? What happened to the devil?" The mention of you has him flush red before stuttering out a total lie.

"They got away."

🏷️: @Vealize21 @fabitheraven @sourissue @jksstuffposts @gallantys @tired-of-life-86 @ineedsleeporilldie @aphoneixnamed-angel @flawlessvictorymentality @wowonamo @euphiroo @saintravey @tomiokx @archer-fb @d1gitalbathh @Lifesucksweswallow @rxflen @Aspengagrimlin @ilovemenwhowhimperandbeg @lamees004 @literary-latte @qweenjx @yenakwyl @deffnotstarguys

[hannieehaee]

18 + / mdi

content: idol!mingyu x idol!reader, established relationship, jealousy, possessiveness, afab reader, smut, semi-public sex, penetrative sex, creampie, etc.

part 1

wc: 2410

a/n: ppl rlly liked my first gyu x idol!reader fic so i decided to make a pt. 2! im working on a long fic for idol!gyu x idol!reader rn (its a diff universe from this one tho hehe) which should be out this month <3

masterlist

it's been a bit hard.

dating an idol as an idol would really seem like the ideal situation, except when it wasn't.

yeah, you had been absolutely ecstatic upon finding out mingyu had been carrying a torch for you for years. you had felt the same, only ever entertaining your other friends' flirting out of mere desperation for the man to finally notice you. after he suddenly blew up, declaring his love for you, you thought it'd just be smooth sailing from here, except you hadn't really thought much past that.

maybe you were being unreasonable. i mean, you had never dated a fellow idol before! maybe it was all in your head. or maybe you just weren't too used to the dynamic just yet. you weren't too sure. but you had no idea how much longer you could take watching mingyu flirt his way through life anymore.

fans, staff, other idols, male or female, you name it. mingyu simply had an overly flirtatious demeanor towards absolutely everyone. you, personally, always kept a very clear line in fan service, or any other type of flirtatious scenarios (sans your previous attempts to make mingyu jealous). mingyu did not afford you the same courtesy, consistently following requests to call fans his girlfriends and even going as far as initiating the flirting in both fancalls and physical fan meetings. okay, maybe this was something you could put up with. these interactions were very short lived, so they never went too out of hand, but these were not his only offenses.

you looked past the flirting with idols, chalking it up to being played up for the cameras for entertainment purposes. you looked away whenever it went far enough to have fans speculating online. you knew idols were professionals at delivering fan service, always wanting to give people something to talk about. hell, you did it too! this was a bit annoying to watch, but you trusted your boyfriend and your idol colleagues, so you let it slide. it was other things that were harder to look past.

was there any need for him to flirt up a storm among all the female staff members? he was behind the scenes, for fucks sake! there were no cameras nor any benefit from entertaining their giggles and subtle touches of his muscles as they pretended to be interested in what he was saying. you knew your boyfriend probably didn't realize that he was flirting, having simply grown too used to doing it that it was second nature to him by now, but it was still frustrating! specially when no one knew that mingyu was taken. as far as any of his staff members knew, mingyu was still just your best friend, and any sighting of the two of you together (always accompanied by another member of the 97s or a fellow group mate of his to avoid suspicion) was always assumed to be strictly platonic. even now, as you walked into his dressing room, only to find his stylist - and a few of the members' stylists - flocking around him as he told some stupid joke that probably wasn't even funny.

it was sickening, really. the way none of them saw how desperate they came off. how none of them realized that if they all flirted with him at once, it truly had no effect, as he wouldn't pay special attention to any of them in particular. you felt like a hater, but being real, you were starting to become one. you watched him for a good five minutes, wondering if he'd ever notice your presence from across the room. when he did, he immediately went over to you, cutting off any of the girls who had been flirting with him in favor of welcoming you. he was amicable, giving you a simple hug. but his eyes told a different story. anyone who knew mingyu knew those eyes were reserved for his loved ones. that made you calm down a bit, even hugging him back and daring a short peck on the cheek.

today was yet another shoot at the hybe building. you had the fortune of belonging to the same company as your boyfriend, which meant you could stop by whenever you wanted (as long as you kept a low profile). you'd often drag jungkook along with you for appearances' sake, but had decided to go solo today. gyu was clearly happy to see you, interrupting his stylists to take a quick breather with you, heading over to one of the empty changing rooms and finally indulging you with less platonic affection.

"baby! wasn't expecting you today?", despite that, he was clearly enthusiastic to see you, attached to you like a magnet now that he had locked the door behind you, making sure no one was around to see his affections towards you.

"yeah, clearly ..." you couldn't help but grumble, disconnecting yourself from him.

mingyu didnt give you much of a chance to create distance between you, immediately holding onto you again, this time by wrapping his arms around your waist, yours instinctively leaning against his hard chest.

"baby, what's wrong? what do you mean?", a pout made its way to his face. of course he was unsuspecting. the mingyu you knew was far too into you to ever seriously hit on someone else when he had you.

you responded with a sigh, "mingyu, do you have to flirt with every girl you meet?"

"w-what? what are you talking about?"

"did you seriously not notice all those girls giggling at every word you said? they all want you, gyu. and you never put a stop to it."

"i dont .. the stylists? baby, ive never flirted with anyone in our staff, what? i work with them, of course i'm nice, but its always strictly platonic, you know that."

"the fact that you dont even realize it!", you separated yourself from him again, facing away and crossing your arms across your chest like a petulant child.

"baby ..."

"no, gyu. i'm not in the mood. i came to see you, but again, you're hitting on some other girl."

he wrapped his arms around you for the third time now, pulling your back to his chest as he nuzzled his face on the crook of your neck. he was trying to break you down before you even managed to get fully angry at him

"princess, i'm sorry. i swear i didnt realize i was doing it. i- im just too friendly, i guess. why would i wanna flirt with anyone when i have you right here, hmm?", the kisses he began leaving along your neck did not help matters. he knew your weak points.

"forgive me, baby? please? don't want any of them. i'll tell them. i'll tell everyone, okay?"

"gyu ..." you whined, but still angled your neck for hin to keep kissing, leaning against his hold.

"yeah, pretty? i'll tell the whole world. it's just you for me," he paused, letting out a quiet chuckle as he shook his head, "it's kinda funny, though. now you know how i felt any time the boys would flirt with you."

"gyu! how is it my fault they liked me? and i only flirted with jungkook one time before we were ever together."

"and? still hated seeing you with anyone else. you're mine. you've always been."

he turned you around then, holding you close to him as he looked into your eyes. he smiled at you, kissing your nose before chuckling at your whines of annoyance at him. even when you wanted to be mad at him you couldnt. he'd always turn the situation around and swoon you somehow.

"let me show you, baby? show you that you're mine? maybe we can show those mean mean stylists too, huh?", okay, he was just teasing you now, lips drawn way too close to yours as he ran his hands up and down your back.

"gyu ..." you whined, making no effort to actually pull away.

"you'll let me. won't you, baby?" his eyes were glued to your lips, in a similar fashion to your own. you knew he could tell how badly you wanted him to close the gap, but you refused to make the first move. then he'd win. he'd be the voice of reason, which was something you just couldn't have.

"c'mon baby, just kiss me. you know you wanna. dont you wanna show them ill all yours? maybe leave your lipstick print all over my face for them to clean up? give me a hickey to- hmph!"

you had to shut him up eventually. he was driving you crazy. but he was also right. knowing you could make a statement about your relationship without actually having to explicitly say anything about it sounded too good to pass up, so you might've gone a little extra nastier with your kissing, running your lips all over his mouth, letting your tongue do all the work for you. mingyu had no complaints, even turning pliant under your touch.

huh.

he wanted you to be jealous, didnt he? he mightve not flirted on purpose, but now that he knew you were jealous he mustve felt some type of ... pride? at knowing how badly you wanted him to be yours and yours only. well. in that case, you were gonna give it to him.

you're not sure how it happened, but you ended up sitting on him, both your shirts thrown off as you ground on his lap as he sat back on the couch. the lower part of his face, along with part of his neck, were covered in lipstick stains, matching the smudged red along your own lips. you had left a few hickeys (okay, maybe five) on his chest area, not wanting to make the stylists work too difficult. the are with most damage, however, had been his hair, as you had messed it up in all directions possible through your incessant pulling. his hairstylists might have had complaints, but mingyu sure didnt have any. he kept moaning and sighing against your lips, hands guiding your hips from the moment you sat down on him.

"baby ... give me more ... please," you didnt blame him for growing frustrated at the lack of action. you yourself felt like you were at the precipice of pleasure, just needing to sit on him to find the way to your climax.

you helped him lower his pants enough to free his cock, playing with it for a bit before allowing it to slip under your skirt, panties shoved to the side in favor of creating a safe passage for his dick. you couldnt help the loud whine of pleasure you let out at the intrusion, feeling accompanied by mingyu and his own groan.

"gyu! shit ... feel so good- so big ..."

"i know, baby ... so pretty n so tight for me ... how could i ever want anyone else when i have my pretty girl so perfect for me. hole so wet and needy ..."

you cried at his words, speeding up as you angled yourself back to allow your clit to grace against him, making your eyes roll back even more.

"that's it, pretty. gonna cum for me? gonna let me fill you up, beautiful? that'll- fuck ... that'll show them who i belong to, huh? all yours, baby. just like y- you're all mine."

"yours! gyu, fuck! y- yours!"

"and im yours, baby. dont forget."

he kept poisoning at you from below, dragging your hips so you'd bounce up and down at a pace that had your toes curling. he always knew how to fuck you in ways that had your mind going completely blank, like right now. neither of you paid mind to the dressing room next door that was full of staff who could likely hear your muffles whines against each other's lips. you relished on it, even, knowing that once you walked back in the room they'd know who mingyu really belonged to.

"cum, baby. need you to cum so i c- shit ... so i can fill you up."

"almost there, gyu, just ... fuck! just like that! i'm cumming! gyu!"

"yeah, shit. gonna fill you up now, okay, baby? want you to keep it all in. show them im yours, yeah?", his hips never slowed down despite being you being on top. you were now just a rag doll he was using for his own pleasure. nothing had ever felt this good.

he filled you up soon after, with most of it spilling out due to the massive size of his load. he used his fingers to push it back in, then lifting them to your lips for you to lick clean, which you did with no complaint.

"oh, baby ... my nasty girl. how could i ever look at anyone else when i have my nasty baby so desperate for me? hmm? you're perfect for me, angel. dont care about any girl that flirts with me. you're all i want," he used his fingers to push down on your tongue as he said this, groaning at the way you sucked and sucked while looking at him with wide eyes.

"gyu ..." you whined as soon as he left your mouth alone.

"but im still sorry, angel. i didnt realize it bothered you. i get it. kinda wanna fight any of ur male fans when they get a little too friendly with you. that rookie at mnet last month? wanted to take him out back for the way he was looking at you when you performed."

"gyu!," you knew your boyfriend had been jealous of your friend group due to their former crushes on you, but he'd never told you that he felt the same way about literally any man you'd come across as an idol.

"what? im just saying, i get it! im also possessive and jealous. thats why we compliment each other. now come on. lets get you dressed, baby. gotta go have a very awkward conversation with my stylist so she can fix everything you just did to me."

"me?! look at me! im covered in cum!"

"hmm yeah. so pretty, angel. you better have it all in you by the time we get home, yeah?"

you huffed, but agreed, rolling your eyes at the innocent peck that landed on your cheek as he helped you look presentable.

you knew things would be awkward around his staff from now on, but it had been worth it.

[laughhardrunfastbekindsblog]

I cannot get over how much this one scene informs us of Tech's priorities, personality, and how much he cares about his squad.

THE SCENE: "Replacements," season 1 episode 3; the Marauder is in dire need of repairs

This scene is often played for laughs (and let's be real, it IS hilarious). There's Tech, completely ignoring Echo's not-so-subtle hints to help fix the ship, instead prioritizing tinkering with his gadgets because his definition of "critical systems" is apparently vastly different than others'. Result? The ship crashes.

But... Tech is RIGHT to be concerned about the chips.

He has been warning his brothers about the chips since Order 66, multiple times throughout "Aftermath" and "Cut and Run."

2. He suspected Crosshair was susceptible to the effects of the chip early on.

3. He saw firsthand the friction caused between Crosshair and the rest of the squad due to the chip, with the ultimate result that Crosshair attacked the squad and shot Wrecker.

OF COURSE he is going to prioritize creating a device that will test the functionality of their own chips - and I think he has two reasons for this.

First: Prevent further catastrophe by making sure no one else on the squad is at imminent risk of acting out like Crosshair did.

Can you imagine what could happen if anyone else became susceptible to the chip's effects? (Oh yeah, we can: we see exactly what happens with Wrecker on Bracca.) Tech's not losing another family member the way he just lost Crosshair.

Second: Support his theory that Crosshair's actions ARE a result of the chip. (Omega talked to Crosshair about this (in a roundabout way) in the brig, but it's Tech who mentions this possibility to the squad.)

And if they can find a reason, a solid explanation, for why Crosshair has turned on them, maybe they can find a way to help him.

Tech is logical and rational. He understands people by analyzing them, finding reasons to explain their motives and actions; and by understanding them, he can come up with a plan to fix the situation. And that's exactly what he's doing here: by proving his theories about the inhibitor chips, he can better help his family.

So, as much as I still laugh over Tech's nonchalant "We're fine" as they're LITERALLY CRASHING, I also find it so dang heartwarming and sweet that Tech was SO focused on saving his team in other, equally crucial ways ❤️

[just-your-average-tangerine]

I think the hardest part of being trans is the uncertainty.

Like, there's a new band I kind of like. They've only released a few songs, but I like those songs, and I like the bands style, so I followed them on Instagram to keep up with them. Neither member of the band is openly queer but many of their (young) fans talk about how their dynamic and their music fits with a popular gay ship. The band has really leaned into it and made content to appeal to that, so I feel confident in assuming they're decently gay friendly, at least. But said popular ship is from Harry Potter, so I don't feel at all confident that they're trans friendly. They haven't said or done anything specifically transphobic, but they haven't specifically said anything in support of trans people either. So it creates that uncertainty. Am I safe in this fan space? Am I wanted? Will I be accepted?

Even in queer spaces, it's the same story. I've been in queer spaces that claimed to be trans friendly. They have name tags and pronoun stickers and pins available to everyone, a trans flag on the wall. But most of the staff won't try to use the correct pronouns. And trans men aren't welcome in the queer men's group they run. And when they invite a group to do free haircuts, they won't cut trans men's hair because they "don't do women's haircuts."

It's like, I can go to pride with a trans flag and five different he/him buttons pinned to my chest, and I'll still get misgendered to my face.

Every time you want to be a part of something, you have to ask yourself

-do they accept trans people

-if so, is that acceptance limited and conditional

-do they accept trans people as a part of the group or do they allow trans people to be there but not a part of it, is it a "you can tag along but you're not one of us" situation. A "trans people can join but gay trans men are not "real" gay men and trans lesbians are not "real" lesbians" situation.

Every fucking thing is uncertain.

The tweet has long been deleted, but years ago, Laura Jane Grace tweeted something to the effect of 'do you think I don't know that everyone I admire would hate me'. And that it. That's the shape of it. You just have to live with the idea that there's a good chance anyone you look up to, would hate you.

And that eats at you.

It really does.

[bitchy-craft]

PICK A CARD: What kind of yandere they would be [18+]

Hello and welcome to this new post of mine! In here I will give you a reading on what kind of yandere your future spouse would be. I hope you guys enjoy and find this interesting.

Warning: this pac is for 18+ and entertainment only. This pac can be triggering to some people.

Masterpost > Paid Readings

~pick a card~

Pile 1:

Your future spouse would definitely be the yandere that no one notices, not even you. They watch from afar, don’t come too close and know perfectly well what they can and can’t do in order to avoid being caught yet still find their way into getting what they want.

This kind of yandere would have a habit of stealing little things from your appartement or bag, but so small it is basically not noticeable; a pen, a piece of paper, some hair thrown in the trash. Small things no one pays mind to except them.

When it comes to actual harm they wouldn’t do much since they know well enough that what they do is not good and they minimalize it as much as possible. ‘If I don’t take essential and important things it’s basically like I haven’t stolen at all.’ Is something they would often tell themselves.

Pile 2:

Your future spouse would be more of an active yandere, in such a way that you would actually notice / feel the effects from the presence of this person in your life. They’d be the very charming kind that act like they’re incredibly normal, kind, helpful and caring, but in actuality they fake all their interactions with the people around you to be able to get close to you.

They wouldn’t only charm you into becoming close with them, they’d be the yandere to put cameras in your house or make pictures of you through holes in the door or through windows. Your future spouse would also be the kind of yandere that would eventually put something in your drink (which they’re able to do since you trust them, and they’ve often cooked dinner for you) to take you with them once the pills have taken effect.

Pile 3:

This future spouse would definitely be the yandere that constantly follows you when you’re walking outside, especially at night. You’ll have a pretty active nightlife (if you don’t already) which would give this theoretical yandere the chance at following you around, mostly unnoticed. However, you would eventually find our or have a hunch due to your intuition sending off alarm bells on full blast.

Your future spouse would be the kind of yandere that, at first (and for an incredibly long time), wouldn’t directly talk to you or seek contact with you. They’d secretly stalk you, finding out everything about you; your family, your friends, your schedule, your hobbies etc. absolutely everything. Some of this pile would also be able to hack into your phone and figure this stuff out.

This s/o if they were a yandere would be the kind of yandere to manipulate situations in your life which makes it more likely to walk past them, or makes it easier to see you in real life. This manipulation could go from simply changing your schedule without your knowledge, but also harming your family (maybe friends but mostly family) to get you to come to certain places where they can easily see you and watch you.

[ash-says]

Things to be aware of as a Hopeless Romantic:

We all have been there daydreaming about the perfect man, the perfect life, the perfect whatever,etc. Still life is not full of roses and thorns are inevitable.

So here are some aspects to look out for according to me so that you won't fall in the delulu is the only solulu trap.

Remember if you follow me, we don't do regrets here. We accept, take accountability and move on. We don't soak ourselves in problems. We solve them effectively.

1) Drop those rose-colored glasses. Crush them under your feet and now look at the world again. Learn to accept reality. It is what it is. Not what you make it out to be. Learn to become an observer of your life from time to time. It will give you the real picture.

2) Potential is useless if you are not leveraging it. It's a trap both for yourself and others. You see potential in him of changing and being a good guy?? Girl, he *IS* not a good guy. It's not your job to raise a man. It's embarrassing. Stop babysitting grown men.

3) Standards are important but ensure they are not rooted in fantasy. Let's be honest finding a man who is rich, dark, tall, sexy and talks in the way you read in your romance novels is difficult. I am not saying it's impossible but don't be too rigid. All I will say is make sure you are also on the level where if you come across such a man he should be ready to date you.

4) Men view sex differently than us women. I know many of you will get triggered after reading this but the majority of men really view women as sex dolls. Blame the porn industry maybe. Good men exist but not every other man who talks sweetly is good.

5) A person in your life treats you nicely. Always talk sweetly, tells you that you matter to them but their actions don't match it. Chances are you are being breadcrumbed. Plans being cancelled? Messages being unseen? But when confronted all you get is,"Sorry love, I was busy. I was going to do it. You matter a lot,etc etc." Breadcrumbing. Be smart it can happen even in friendships too. I understand people get busier with time and things do happen. Use your discernment to see who really is busy and who is faking to be busy.

6) That uncle was so kind to me. He talked to me sweetly and always tried to help me out. Now, that's really sweet of him. Next he calls you home to help out with the household chores and he is alone at home because his wife is out of town for some work. Would you go and help? Yes. Will you go alone? No. That's unsafe.

No matter how much a gentleman a man appears to be you are not allowed to be in a situation where he could potentially take advantage of you. You always bring along a friend or deny it. I know it's wrong to not help someone but at your own risk. No. Never. It's common knowledge in our society.

7) Dreaming of a Prince Charming to whisk you away from all your troubles??? Dream on. The idea that a soulmate or one person will magically solve all our issues is dumb. We as human beings add to each other's happiness rather than becoming the core of it.

8) One of the biggest mistakes I have seen girls around me make is of being fully invested in a relationship to the point one small fight makes them depressed. That's codependency. It's unhealthy.

9) Never make your relationship your identity. You should always have a separate identity out of it. Stop curating yourself for your partners. Morphing yourself according to their likes and dislikes. That's one way ticket to an identity crisis after breakup. Compromises are essential but changing your core self??? Crazy shit.

10) Your relationship should not be the reason for your downfall. It happens especially with my intense girlies we invest so much of ourselves in the relationship to the point it becomes our focal point and when it faces upheavals we are devastated. The mental distress starts flowing in other areas of your life and suddenly your grades are falling, your career seems unstable, etc. Develop the emotional strength to compartmentalize your emotions and not allow them to overflow in other areas and affect them.

Imagination is fertile but being delusional is being stuck in a swamp.

That's all for today's show on ash-says. Stay tuned for more illegal tricks and explosive opinions.