#you can suck a dick

[enokian3310]

suddenly i’m jomophobic

[cryingincrystals]

transwomen are males

lol sure buddy, i am definitely gonna listen to an anonymous pathetic loser

[realbeefman]

i like that wilson is kind of a creepy freak. yeah keep every single gift the dead have given you in the office you use every day to remind yourself of what you perceive as failure (the inevitability of death). live every day in a symbolic mausoleum of the fate that will one day befall you, no matter how kind you are, no matter how many you save.

[silverwhittlingknife]

So you're a go to source for all things Dick&Tim bros and you tend to write primarily from Dick's POV. So, odd question, but if you were to summarize their relationship from his POV in FIVE panels which panels would you pick? Keeping in mind that one specific aspect of their relationship that you love needs to be clearly represented by each panel (loyalty, trust etc). I hope this is a fun challenge and not an annoying question so if you don't want to answer that's cool! Have a wonderful day!

No more talk. The same thoughts run through two minds... (SotB 29) / You're my equal. My closest ally. (RR 1) / I can't stop thinking how much I rely on him. (GoG 3)

25 Feelings Dick Has About Tim

This was such a kind ask & a cool challenge which I totally failed; here are TWENTY-five panels of Dick's POV on Tim sdfdsfds Look, I got carried away! Marcia and Cindy! The boys!!

OKAY SO BEFORE I GET TO THE PANELS A FEW NOTES:

WARNING THAT THERE ARE SOME NEGATIVE EMOTIONS IN HERE because I love conflict but but but you gotta remember those are not the final word!! They are complicated people and sometimes they get mad at each other BUT ultimately their relationship is so hugely important in both their lives & they love each other and rely on each other so much -!!! <3

Also I have CONCLUDING THOUGHTS at the end about what Dick's POV leaves out (mostly: a lot of Dick defending & protecting & supporting Tim, which Dick does instinctively but isn't very self-aware about most of the time)

I have loosely organized my list into 5^5 format (5 categories with 5 examples each!), so if you want to skip to a relevant one, here are the categories!!

Below the cut:

I hate him and find him infuriating (#1-5)

On second thought, he's endearing & fun (#6-10)

Grief is complicated & he's all tangled up in mine (#11-15)

I love him & think highly of him (#16-20)

I rely on him & though it's hard for me, I trust him (#21-25)

I hate him and find him infuriating (#1 - 5)

1) He thinks he’s so smart and can psychoanalyze me and Bruce, but he doesn’t know me at all, he should get lost (New Titans 61)

2) He thinks he’s so smart and can psychoanalyze Bruce but he doesn’t know Bruce at all, he should get lost (Gotham Knights 26)

3) He is so nosy about stuff that is MY business (Robin 0)

4) He sounds like an insincere suck-up half the time... but okay, fine, if you push him he's got a sense of humor about it (New Titans 65)

5) I'm sure he's a better vigilante than me. It's my fault for being a failure, but I resent him anyway. (Nightwing 9 - Dick's having a nightmare)

On second thought, he's kinda endearing (#6-10)

6) He worries too much and gets anxious so easily, but it makes him fun to tease (Robin 67)

7) I'm not that competitive - okay, so maybe I'm a little competitive, I gotta make sure he doesn't get a swelled head (Prodigal)

8) I'm supposed to be his favorite! It is not cool for him to be fanboying over my not-girlfriend's not-boyfriend!! (Birds of Prey 19)

9) We have fun together. I can kick back and relax when it's just the two of us. Plus I get to boss him around a bit. (Prodigal)

10) He’s always trying to reassure me, and I guess it's a little comforting, but also he doesn’t really get it. Or me. He makes excuses that he shouldn't, because he doesn't understand that I suck. (Nightwing 64)

Grief is complicated and he's all tangled up in mine (#11 - 15)

11) He reminds me of everything I try not to think about. Sometimes the memories are so strong it hurts to look at him. (Batman 441)

12) WHY IS HE BEING IMPOSSIBLE ALL OF A SUDDEN??? THIS IS SO FRUSTRATING (Nightwing 139)

13) We're the same. He says all the things I don't let myself think about. It's like arguing with myself. (Nightwing 139)

14) He thinks he gets to tell me what to do but he doesn’t, fuck him (Battle for the Cowl)

15) Life sucks, so what. I sucked it up so he should too (RR 1)

I love him and think highly of him (#16 - 20)

16) He’s the closest thing to a brother I’ll ever have.  If someone hurts him I will hurt them harder. (Nightwing 6)

17) I can't handle the idea of losing him. (Nightwing 97)

17) He’s so good and I’m not. I'm afraid I’m bad for him. (Nightwing 110)

18) He’s better than me, and it’s kind of a relief because I know no matter what he’ll be okay. (Gates of Gotham 3)

19) In my head he’s the responsible one.  (Gotham Knights 10)

I rely on him, and though it's hard for me, I trust him (#20-25)

20) I know I have to trust him but I'm afraid he'll make the wrong choices and get hurt (Nightwing 139)

21) I'm sure I know what he should do because I see myself in him - not that I can take my own advice, but he should (Blackest Night 3)

22) I trust him.  When I’m losing my grip on things, he pulls me back. (Gotham Knights 10)

23) I want him to trust me (Red Robin 12)

24) He can tell when I'm lying. Sometimes he sees my weaknesses better than I wish he did. (Detective Comics 874)

25) He’s always there when I need him. (Teen Titans / Outsiders Secret Files)

Final rambling thoughts:

TIM: Uhh, okay, so I'm just skimming this list - do you really trust me? you're not just saying that? - but anyway, I'm confused because you left some stuff out? Like some stuff that's kinda important? DICK: No? I think I got everything? TIM (starts counting on his fingers): The time I was having a bad day but then I called you. The time I got captured by Two-Face but then you saved me. The time I fell off a train but then you saved me. The time I fell off a building but then you saved me. The time I fell off a different building - DICK: I feel like you're trying to make some kind of point but I'm not sure what it could be.

SO THE THING IS, I put 25 panels in here and not a single one has Dick catching Tim when he’s falling!!! But I think that's a central motif of their relationship from Tim’s POV, not Dick’s. I love Dick, but in some ways I think he is spectacularly un-self-aware.

And I think he especially has a lot of blind spots about Tim. He kinda intermittently gets that Tim admires him, and he enjoys it in a playful I-get-to-boss-you-around way. But Dick tends to consistently underestimate all of his own good qualities & skills, and he meets Tim at a point in his life when he's especially down on himself & his abilities. And so he's unable to see his own influence on Tim, & therefore unable to fully understand a lot of Tim's priorities and loyalties and motivations, because you can't actually understand Tim without understanding Dick's impact on him. There's a fascinating moment in Bruce Wayne: Murderer when Dick's completely blindsided & upset to discover that Tim doesn't entirely trust Bruce, even though this has been a definitive fact of Tim's whole thing ever since he showed up with his Batman needs Robin theory, and Barbara has to actively remind Dick of the obvious-to-everyone-except-Dick fact that a lot of Tim's loyalty is to Dick, and Tim loves Bruce but feels free to be more wary of him. (And to give Bruce credit: this is not something he ever begrudges.) But anyway Babs points this out, and Dick manages to sorta process it for about five seconds, but he cannot actually accept it into his worldview so instead he discards it at the speed of light and goes off and has an argument with Tim instead sdfsfdsf

All of Dick's virtues - Dick's kindness at the circus and Dick's determination to fight through grief and Dick's rigid sense of morals and Dick's vigilante skills and every time Dick has ever backed Tim up or listened to him or protected him or saved him from something or just been casually kind to a stranger in Tim's presence etc etc etc - all these things loom really large in Tim's mental story of Who Dick Is, and What Dick And Tim's Relationship Is. Tim meets Dick before he meets Bruce, trusts Dick more than Bruce, aspires to be Robin instead of Batman. And so in Tim's default version of the story, Dick is the super-special and admirable hero and Tim is... nobody in particular, a tagalong outsider who's barely managing to be a hero, not part of Dick and Bruce's family and not part of their story, who, if he's VERY LUCKY and tries REALLY HARD, might be able to fight his way to proving himself and offering something to Dick that Dick will value, if Dick doesn't get fed up with him first.

But that's not Dick's version of the story!!!

Dick's version of the story is almost the exact opposite, a story where Dick's an outcast failure black sheep who's screwing up everything he tries, and meanwhile Tim is The Sudden New Perfect Robin Who's Better Than Me And Probably Bruce Loves Him More And Probably They Gossip About What A Loser I Am, mixed with a complicated edge of Tim Thinks He's So Smart But He Doesn't Know Me/Us At All. Dick gets much more attached to Tim over time, and Tim gets unnervingly better at the know-it-all psychoanalysis so then Dick gets to have complicated feelings about him being right instead of just annoyance at him for being wrong, plus Dick's relationship with Bruce improves a lot, so Tim stops feeling so threatening. But Dick never fundamentally changes his basic theory of their relationship in which Tim is highly impressive and capable, and Dick is not so much.

And so asking Dick about Tim is kinda like if you asked George Bailey to tell you about Harry Bailey in It's A Wonderful Life; like, you'll be there for five hours while he tells you how great Harry is, and how accomplished Harry is, and how he doesn't really get how or why Harry does the things he does, and maybe George does feel a little resentful or jealous sometimes, but that pales in comparison to all his admiration and trust for Harry who he loves so much, who's better than him in so many ways, and he's not gonna openly gripe but secretly he can't help but feel sometimes like he's such a failure in comparison to Harry, a perfect person who emerged fully formed from Zeus's head with all the virtues and also all the accomplishments, etc. etc. etc. --

-- and he will not actually remember the part where he changed and saved Harry's whole entire life unless you literally send him to an alternate timeline in order to force him to remember it. <3

[latenightsundayblues]

I got bored lol

[qcomicsy]

AITA for firing my 18 year old from his job?

I (M33) have my son (M18) working for me nonsalaried in the family business since he was 10 years old. We had our share of arguments (regarding the job and other personal matters) and he started to live with his friends in another city ever since he moved out for college. He has his own job there too (with his roommates), but since it's a city away, his college, other job and personal life has making lack on the job I gave him lately, (even though he should be absolutely capable of assuming both responsibilities).

So last month when he showed up late to the job again, I told him that this job is serious, that it's a war out there, and I need my second lieutenant, anything less than total devotion is a waste of time and fired him off the job. After that, he told me he was leaving, I asked him to give his uniform back, and we haven't spoken with each other ever since.

I thought (and still do) that was the most logical conclusion to make but ever since my fight with him, a close family member (M??) (that helped me raise him) said I was out of line and I have “impossible standards” regarding my children, at pretty much the same week a friend of work called me asking if I didn't go too far this time (he knows about the altercation because my son visited him to ask advice about the matter). Also, the same family member who I mentioned previously refuses to talk to me without any snark or bitter remark as some form of “punishment” ever since my fight with my son.

My son hasn't called yet about the matter and I won't call him either.

On an unrelated note, I also just adopted another child (M12) and put him to work in the place my eldest had in the family business, and he's (my eldest) been acting extremely upset over that even though he tries not to show it. I don't understand why, since he couldn't do the job and my youngest wanted it. It just felt logical to put another person to do it.

TLDR: My son was unable to be a reliable person to keep the unpaid work I gave him ever since he was a child because of his other job, college and personal life in another city so I fired him and put my other new adopted son in his place and now work colleagues and family members has been implying I'm an asshole for it

AITA?

[phantom-0-writer]

original prompt: Gotham Academy's Mentorship Program

scene 1

table of contents

------------

scene 2: tim’s arch nemesis 

“Have a good day at school Masters Tim, Thomas, and Damian.” Alfred wished, as they all got out of the car. 

“Later, Alfred.” Duke waved as the car left the drop off zone.

The three of them walked together until Tim remembered the conversation from Bruce’s study. He peered over his shoulder at Damian who was trying to act nonchalant as he ditched the principal's office. Tim turned and stopped right in front of Damian ``Ohoho, and where do you think you’re going Damian?” Sneaky little plans for a sneaky little kid, huh.

“Tsk.” He rolled his eyes at being caught 

Tim smirked at him, the words hillbilly civilians echoing in his head. “Aren’t you supposed to be in the principal’s office?” 

“I was just on my way.” Damian said, trying to seem unbothered as he walked away. 

“Y’know one of these days he’s gonna snap and finally murder you.” Duke mused next to him, before they split into their separate hallways. 

“Better people than him have tried.” They shared a small laugh. Finding his usual seat in homeroom, Tim scrolled through his phone until class started. 

At the bell Ms. Kross stepped to the teacher’s podium to start the daily announcements. “Hello class, happy Wednesday.” She smiled at them, “You’re all chipper as usual,” she commented humorously to herself at the silent audience. “Well today is the day I’m sure all of you have been waiting anxiously for. Before I announce everyone’s placements after the midterms, I just want to remind you all that grades only matter so much in the grand scheme of things, and if you did not score as well as you would’ve liked, there's still time to do better.” Ms. Kross gave them the yearly pep talk, as the system booted. 

Tim had been attending Gotham Academy since the first grade, and he was familiar with the ins and outs of the system now, as opposed to the many students that often filtered in and out of the Academy. Gotham Academy is one of the best schools on this side of the coast and many affluent families would send their kids here. So naturally the Academy was incredibly competitive and so much as one point could move you from 5th place to 50th. 

The competitive atmosphere of Gotham Academy had never been too hard of a burden on Tim’s shoulder. Since grade 3 Tim has easily been placed first in his grade without so much as a sweat, no matter the amount of Robin, or Red Robin responsibilities on his shoulders. Knowing this year would be no different, Tim let his chair lean back leisurely as his other classmates sat forward in anticipation. 

“With no further ado, this year’s first place as for now is Daniel Fenton.” Yup, just like every other- Wait. 

“What?” Tim asked, the front two legs of his chair hitting the floor hard. Tim looked at the screen in disbelief, only to have his suspicions confirmed. 

“Mr. Drake, is there a problem?” Mr. Kross asked, surprised. 

“Are you sure this is right?” Tim asked incredulously pointing an accusing finger at the screen, there's no way that he- Timothy Drake - placed second?

“Yes, Mr. Drake, I assure you this sheet has been double, triple, even quadruple checked. There are no errors.” Ms. Kross smiled exasperatedly. 

Ms. Kross continued down the list of names in the class, announcing their places but Tim wasn’t paying attention. Tim glared at the spreadsheet at the front of the class, waiting for it to correct itself. But no changes were made. The name placed at the top of the list had been burned into Tim’s skull. 

Who the fuck is Daniel James Fenton? 

----

Bonus:

Bruce waited his turn in the pick up line, ready to see his kids' surprise when they found out that he came to pick them up instead of Alfred. When it was finally his turn to pull up to the curb he smiled happily as Tim, Damian and Duke entered the car. 

“Surprise.” Bruce smiled at them.

“Oh, Bruce. Alfred didn’t come today?” Duke asked with a smile. 

“Nope!” He said driving into the street. “Since it’s just us today, how about we go grab ice cream?” Bruce offered, looking at his passengers in the rearview mirror. 

“Ooh ice cream after school!” Duke cheered. 

“I could appreciate some ice cream.” Damian nodded from his seat. 

“Oh how did meeting Daniel go today, Damian?” Bruce remembered. 

“It was fine. Daniel is not entirely despicable.” Bruce blinked in surprise, Damian seemed to have taken a great liking to the kid if he was already calling him by his first name, especially on day one. “Not entirely despicable” and “it was fine” in Damian-speak usually meant that he had had a phenomenal time. 

“That’s great, buddy.” Bruce turned to tell him when he stopped at a red light. “Duke, how was your Chemistry Test?” 

“It went okay, I think. We’ll just have to wait till the results come out, I guess.” Duke shrugged. 

Bruce nodded at the information. He was doing a good job. Engage, Assess, Appreciate. That’s what Dick had said. 

Tim. There was something today, he had mentioned it offhandedly. What was it? Right! The placement release. 

“Tim, how did your-”

“Shut up.” Tim seethed from the back seat. Bruce saw the irritation radiating off of him and decided that today, nor any day, would he be ready to deal with that.

“Ok.”

[copias-juicebox]

His military outfit please.

[donnatroyyyy]

Dick genuinely doesn’t have a favorite sibling, he’s like the parent that says “I love all my children equally” and you believe it, he actually loves them all equally. He’s been trying to convince them that for the last few years, they don’t believe him, so he does what he has to, he says it’s Steph and let’s her deal with it.

[holmsister]

Unpopular almost blasphemous labru opinion time: kabru would so be into getting flavour profiled actually hed be like. Oh citrus notes interesting. And then he'd have a small crisis about not being able to do the same for Laios BUT he can tell him how quickly he would die if he stabbed him in whatever part he's kissing and that's just as sexy

[thedanceronthestreets]

Yall gonna look so stupid when mariana turns out to be a lesbian

[sommerregenjuniluft]

line cook barty that has every server of the restaurant greet him with cheek kisses when they clock in and he’s trying So Hard to get evan to do it too as he starts working there

[death-threats]

Head.

What it says on the package, friends. Blowies for some One Piece characters. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Eustass Kid, Portgas D. Ace, Roronoa Zoro x GN!Reader cw: 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT. Oral sex (male receiving), gagging, hair pulling, dirty talk, dacryphilia, reader referred to as whore + slut, facefucking, semi-public in Zoro's???, cum swallowing

Eustass Kid:

You couldn't help the tears that were rolling down your cheeks and the drool that was pouring out of your mouth as the fiery redhead used your mouth as a fucktoy. He was in one of his moods today and you agreed to let him take his frustrations out on you. It was a mutually beneficial situation you two were in; you'd behave and be a good little whore for him and he'd fuck the life out of you. Your jaw was starting to get sore but his thrusts weren't lightening up. The only time he'd slow up was when your nails would dig into the meat of his thighs nearly to the point of drawing blood. He withdrew himself from your mouth and took your chin in his hand, forcing you to look up at him. "What's th' matter? Can't be a good little slut for me anymore?" Kid rasped, his voice thick with need. Blinking the tears away, you shook your head. "T-too much." He huffed an incredulous laugh and rolled his eyes, weaving his hand into your hair and roughly pulling. "Fine. I'll let up a little. Don't you dare spill a drop of my come though, you understand?" He questioned, holding your jaw firmly. You nodded in response, too lust-addled to speak. "That's my baby. Be good for me, yeah?" He said, loosening up his grip on you to guide his swollen cock past your lips.

Portgas D. Ace:

The summer heat stuck to your bodies as you tried your best to keep quiet in your shared room in the inn. You finally had some time to yourselves on this quick overnight pit stop on some island in the East Blue. You ran yourselves ragged all morning and afternoon in order to gain some alone time this evening, and it was worth it. The orange lamplight reflected off of your puffy, saliva-soaked lips and your shining sex-blown eyes as you released Ace's cock with a wet pop. Your hand continued to work his shaft as you sucked and tugged on his balls just the way he liked. The sounds he was making was almost enough to get you off. "We have to be quiet, baby. Don't want everyone to be jealous of us." You murmured, placing light kisses to his flushed tip. Ace groaned and gripped the sheets that were bunched up on either side of him, his breathing sporadic. "Don't care. Let 'em all know how good you can suck me off." He said, an inclination of a smirk hidden in his tone of voice. You just grinned and raised a brow, returning that smirk of his in your actions. You took his impressive cock back into your mouth and his hips lifted off of the bed with the sluttiest moan you've heard him make to date. Yeah, the two of you will definitely be the butt of the crew's jokes come morning.

Roronoa Zoro:

You had offered to make drinks for everyone while Sanji worked on perfecting his plating and presentation out on the deck of the Sunny. It was a gorgeous day and everyone decided it would be a lovely idea to enjoy your lunch outside. You heard the kitchen door open and without turning around you announced, "I'm almost done, Sanji. Just have a few more drinks to go." Before you knew it, two large hands were on your waist and a pair of lips were on your neck. You nearly jumped out of your skin at the unexpected touch. "Guess again." A low voice said, one that you quickly recognized to be your lovers'. And that was how you ended up with the swordsman pressed against the counter with you perched on your knees in front of him, bobbing your head up and down on his dick. He wanted to fuck you properly but it was too risky so he suggested a blowjob, which you eagerly agreed to. Zoro weaved your hair through his fingers as he guided you up and down his length, hissing at the feeling of your tongue flattening against his shaft and teasing his weeping slit. You moaned against him, loving the taste of him. "That's my baby...fuck. Just like that." You two loved doing this in high risk places. It made your adrenaline flow like a sweet red wine. Zoro's breathing picked up in pace and you knew he was close. You'd done this enough times with each other that you picked up on one another's signs. His hand tightened ever so slightly in you hair and his hips stuttered a little as he emptied his thick load down your throat. You swallowed all he had to give you and stuck your tongue out afterward to show him. He grinned wickedly and lovingly smoothed your hair down. "That's my Y/N."

[samarecharm]

People who really like shuake also seem to write themselves into a corner wrt Akechi and his relationship to Akiras team. Contrary to popular belief, the team, including Haru, does not hate Akechi. At worst, they tolerate him and deal with his attitude. Hes a good teammate and respectable fighter and the team recognizes that at the end of the day, he was a teenager who was manipulated and abused by a man who saw him as disposable. Just about every thief understands this intimately. They have the same mindset wrt adults who take advantage of the people beneath them. Under different circumstances they wouldve been friends. And if u approach it from that angle, it becomes less about Akechi being the sole person who ‘gets’ Akira, and more about the thieves being the only people in the world who ‘get’ Akechi.

When you expand your thoughts to include the thieves as members of his Team and not roadblocks that get in the way of your ideal shipping dynamic, you allow urself to give Akechi and Akira more depth and nuance to their own relationship.

Akira and Akechi are wildcards; both of them struggle with the face they choose to display to the world. Its the first time Akira interacts with someone who is, at a literal, technical level, his ‘equal’. But Akechi is one of many firsts for Akira yeah? Every thief has their bond with Akira thats completely unique and personal. Akechi will never be the person who witnesses Akiras Awakening, hes never the person who watches Akira have his restless nights alone in the attic, and hes never the person who realizes in real time that the teenager hes housing is just Some Kid, not the delinquent hes been warned about. Hes not Ann or Yusuke, or any of the thieves; he doesnt have the time or experience that they have with Akira, and I think its interesting to explore that part of their relationship, shippy or not.

Akechi is someone who is incredibly lonely and self depreciating despite his cockiness and attitude. He has no positive bonds to speak of save for his connection with Sae. To have him see a team that works together and cares for each other, how do you think he would feel? Out of place? Inferior in some way? Angry about how hes been alone for so long in this single minded quest for revenge? Wouldnt that be a point of struggle between the two of them? I think what makes shuake good for me is knowing that Akechi needs alot of time to heal, and the thieves would want to help with that process. They do it bc they care, bc Akira cares, and bc they trust Akiras opinion (and he trusts theirs in return); if Akira feels like Akechi is someone who can be trusted Now after everything thats happened, then the thieves would do their best to help. And how would Akechi feel about that? Angry about the show of pity? That even now, he has no real say in what happens to him? Or begrudgingly grateful that they are cordial with him? Because they do care, he KNOWS they care, they care TOO MUCH actually; but the one thing he values over brawn and wits is honesty- fighting for what you believe in without having to use soft words to justify it.

[morganas-simp]

So wait let me get this straight, the holocaust happens (not the first genocide against Jews let’s just be clear.)

But this one threatened you so you suddenly give a fuck and stopped it good job! But then a bunch if Jews with no paperwork, names, documents, basic abilities of math and all need a home.

So you think, “oh wait there’s the place we banished them from 2000 years ago let’s send them back. It’s controlling by the British anyway” So you did.

Then a bunch of antisemitic countries do the same and then a war that the Palestinians and all the Arab countries started and The Jews win. Weird right?

Now there’s a bunch of thriving Jews, and you don’t like that.

So you send a bunch of Jews somewhere so you don’t have to deal with that, antisemitic countries did the same, Jews made Aaliyah’s out of religious reasons but it’s still their fault for living there.

But yeah antizionism totally isn’t antisemitism.

(when Zionism is a huge term its like saying “oh they’re religious” without specifying shit.)

[cats-obsessions]

Obsessed with the implications of Gortash reaching out to Durge to rob the Hall of Wonders together. I just imagine he was there on a date, maybe a charity event, and he should be paying attention to the noble that invited him, but he sees these stollen Bhaalian artifacts, and all he can think about for the rest of the night is Durge. Sure, maybe he saw it as an opportunity to earn their trust, and that’s how it functioned, but I also love the idea that he maybe was a bit more interested in them than he’d like to admit from the beginning.