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#you have no idea how emotional this made me
ovaryacted · 2 days
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HANDSY
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PAIRING: Jackson! Joel Miller x afab! reader
SYNOPSIS: Your cycle is ruining your mood, and what better thing to do than get a free massage.
CONTENT/WARNINGS: MDNI/18+. NSFW. Suggestive content. Titty massage. Slight daddy kink. Established relationship. Joel being a little bastard. Ambiguous age gap (Joel is in his 50s, reader is in their 20s). Mentions of menstrual cycle and female characteristics about the chest. Banter and teasing. No use of y/n.
WC: 1.2k
A/N: Alright, I'm kinda on a Joel Miller streak and I was just thinking about getting my tiddies rubbed by a man with strong & rough hands and this happened. Don't look at me like that okay, this is self indulgent and I just had to alright. Hopefully this is relatable for some of y'all lol. Shout out to everyone who has to deal with periods, you are stronger than the marines. Anyways, likes, comments, and reblogs are greatly appreciated! Dividers by @saradika-graphics.
➣ TLOU was created by a zionist and is based off of the Israeli occupation of Palestine. Please refer to this link to learn how you can help the Palestinian people.
NAVIGATION | MASTERLIST | AO3
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Another month. Another week of unruly irritation, mood swings, and uncomfortable reactions to anything that breathed too hard or moved too fast. In the hecticness that was your current reality, dealing with the devil’s wrath was supposed to be something that slipped past your mind. Yet, in the efforts of your survival, having a menstrual cycle still took you off guard every time it came punching through your gut.
Tossing and turning in bed, you tried to get in the best position to ease your cramps by curling up in a fetal position. You thought it would make things better, but instead, the discomfort you felt all over your body pissed you off even more. A frustrated grumble filled the bedroom, flinging the sheets away and furrowing your eyebrows at the lack of relief.
Where the fuck is he?
Throwing on a pair of slippers you luckily claimed on a supply run, you shuffled down the creaky stairs of your home and wandered about until you reached the living room. Joel was hunched over his seat on the couch, currently messing with his guitar strings, aware of your presence the moment you hit the base of the stairway.
“Somethin’ wrong, sweetheart?” He questioned you as he took in your features and noticed your pout. You were upset; that was obvious when he found you in bed earlier today instead of somewhere else in the house. Simply kissing your forehead and letting you rest as best as he could, he expected you to come down to talk to him eventually when you had the energy to do so.
Joel didn’t say anything as you came closer to him without uttering a word, slipping your legs over his thick thighs and pressing your face into the curve of his neck. He put his guitar to the side and wrapped his strong arms around your waist, hands instinctively digging into your lower back where you felt the most sore. He could tell from the way you clung to him that it was that time of the month, already having gotten used to your changes in demeanor to see the signs.
“Uncomfortable?” Joel asked again, trying to get a better read on your emotions, but he only received an annoyed grunt in response. “Guess we’re just gonna sit here then.”
He ran his fingers up and down your spine, trying his best to lessen the strain you felt. He could snag some herbs to make you tea later if you were in the mood for it, but right now, a massage is what you could handle. His touch made you sigh with alleviation, focusing on the pressure points along your shoulder and backbone. Even with his attempts, the front of your body continued to ache.
“My boobs are fucking killing me.” You declared out loud, a deep rumble of a chuckle escaping from the back of his throat.
“You need me to massage them?” Joel offered, and his intention of doing that was purely to make you feel better. Though, you couldn’t ignore the slight flutter in your belly at the idea of having his hands elsewhere. 
Giving him a nod, you sat straighter on his lap, holding his gaze as he slipped his hands underneath the flannel you wore and made a beeline for your chest. Joel didn’t flinch at the fact that you weren’t wearing a bra, being told once or twice how freeing it was not to have to deal with the constant friction of clothes against your heated skin.
He palmed both of your breasts and squeezed, his grip just strong enough to calm the throbbing of the swelling from your change in hormones. Your eyes closed as you focused on his touch, allowing Joel to do whatever he wanted with you, what he knew best.
“Feelin’ better?” You heard him ask, humming out in reply. He grinned at your reaction, the hum sounding close to a purr as he pawed at your chest.
Taking his hands out from underneath your—his shirt, you whined, a smirk tugging at the corners of Joel’s lips. Lifting the top of the flannel to rest on your collarbone, his attention went back to your breasts, looking at them with a mix of desire and affectionate pity.
“Poor baby. Hormones got my girl all cranky and upset.” He said, placing a soft kiss on the top of each breast before handling your body once more. You don’t know whether or not he was deliberately teasing you when you were the most vulnerable, but just hearing his voice was doing wonders to soothe your nerves.
You’ve always been fascinated with Joel’s hands since you met him, watching how he’d hold the handle of his gun or insert ammo into the magazine before reloading. His palms were rough, and his fingers were rougher, representing a man who’s lived a long life, who’s done unspeakable things to survive and get to this point. To most, they’d dislike the feeling of having so much of a contrast, but to you, the difference of his skin against yours was almost euphoric.
Joel squeezed with more purpose, focusing on tightening his grasp along the sides where the pain was the most prominent. One harsh thumb came to stroke at your sensitive nipple in gentle circles, pulling a breathless moan from between your lips. The smile on his face widened when his ears picked up the sound, moving to do a combination of deliberate squeezes and circles on the exposed nubs.
The warmth of his touch morphed into something else, need coiling in your stomach and clawing up your throat. As discretely as you could, your hips shifted further into his, craving much more than what he was giving you. Joel couldn’t help himself and brought you closer to him, grinding his hips up into yours. That got your attention, looking into his hazel eyes to find his pupils narrowly dilated.
“If you need me to rub somethin’ else, I can.” Despite the years worn on his face, he still had a certain boyish charm that jerked at your heartstrings when he flirted with you. Or, maybe it was just his southern gentleman persona, ever so willing to tend to your needs no matter what they may be.
“You’re annoying.” You mumbled to him, stubbornly refusing to outright beg for his affection, regardless of how badly you craved it.
“And you’re moody.” Joel kissed you tenderly, drawing away and snickering when you leaned forward to chase his lips for another.
“Let daddy make you feel good. Alright, darlin’?” You nodded dumbly at the proposition of getting something more than your tits massaged.
His eyes flashed with lust, making quick work to peel off the flannel and toss it to the ground. Already growing hard at the thought of having his way with you, he tilted towards you, kissing the column of your neck and letting his beard tickle your skin. You released a shaky exhale, fingers running through his graying hair and tipping your head back to grant him more access to your skin.
“Atta girl.”
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deebris · 1 day
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The Mysterious Visitor II
Batfamily x batsis (platonic!)
Synopsis: The unknown child evokes conflicting feelings in Bruce Wayne, who once again finds himself needing to deal with Talia's life problems. The girl only wanted the simple desire to see her brother again, unaware of the danger she had put herself into on her journey.
Warnings: The reader is 13 years old and is Damian's twin sister; the tone of the story is somewhat sad; Bruce is intimidating; Hugo Strange mentioned; this will have a third, and hopefully final, part.
Word count: 2.8k
Note: I feel like maybe I could have developed a more emotional scene between Bruce and the reader, I also want to delve deeper into her thought process, but I hope to make up for that in the next part. I like it when you guys tell me what you want to happen next, it gives me ideas. Please, go ahead and do that. That was my first time making a tag list, so I apologize if I didn't do it correctly.
Part I
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Alfred could finally check the exact time now that he was standing in front of Bruce's room, admiring for a few seconds the clock in the corridor's decoration, which showed 4:17 am. He prepared to knock on the door, but suddenly a thought crossed his mind: would it be more rational to wake Damian instead of his father? Throughout his life, he had faced unusual situations thanks to the Wayne family; hardly anything would shake him now. His concern, however, was not for himself, but for Bruce.
Talia was a persistent shadow in Bruce's past, still haunting him, and although he had tried to convince the butler many times that the only link he had with her now was because of their son, Alfred still doubted it. Their relationship had been complicated in many ways, either because of her ambiguous nature or Ra’s al Ghul's insistence on trying to persuade Bruce to join the League of Assassins, making Alfred fear that Bruce's morals might deviate because of this passion at the time.
Alfred raised his fist to knock three times and waited patiently as was his custom, but it seemed that was not enough to wake his master. He knew the door was open and knew he was allowed to enter without knocking, so just this once he used the liberty the young man had given him over the years; because in the end, Bruce Wayne was just that, a young man, and would always be seen that way by him.
Inside the room, he turned on the light, and the intense glare made him close his eyes to avoid the sting of the brightness. Approaching the bed, he sighed at the sight of Zolpidem pills left on the nightstand. This had been the only way Bruce found to stop spending sleepless nights, reluctantly since he was too stubborn and preferred to patrol in the darkness. Waking him would be a difficult task.
"Master Bruce," he called, waiting for a response, but got nothing. Alfred felt sorry for waking him, seeing how he finally seemed to be resting. "Master Bruce," he called again, this time nudging his shoulder. The pills must have been wearing off because he started to stir on the mattress.
"What’s going on, Alfred?" Bruce asked in a hoarse voice while rubbing his eyes to relieve the discomfort from the lamp. He sat up in bed, leaning his back against the headboard, blinking several times to see the butler in the corner. One of the room's curtains was open, and he saw the snow falling outside with the dark sky, showing that it was still night. "Is it Hugo Strange? Has he shown up somewhere?"
"Unfortunately, or fortunately, no, sir." Alfred paused, then licked his lips, preparing to continue and finally revealing, "There's a young lady downstairs who claims to be Master Damian’s sister." Direct, as always.
"Sister of Damian?" Bruce repeated the information, still not fully comprehending its meaning. He needed some time, just standing there absorbing the words. It seemed to be taking an eternity, but Alfred wouldn't interrupt the moment of clarity he was having.
He squinted, pushed the covers aside, and picked up the shirt he found nearby. Buttoning it up and getting out of bed, he continued, "When did this happen?"
"Just now, sir."
"Did Damian bring her here?" The question had a bitter tone but never crossed the line of respect that was drawn between them, and Alfred knew he should prepare for his interrogation. Bruce saw the alarm clock and, like the butler a few minutes ago, checked the time. "He never mentioned anything like this."
"Nor to me." Alfred suddenly extended a coat for him to take. Bruce held the fabric between his fingers, confused. "This coat is hers. There’s a map of Gotham City and a letter inside. I recommend you take a look at the addressee."
Pulling the papers from the right pocket, Bruce noticed a map folded into many smaller parts and a letter witch was still sealed, though the corners were noticeably crumpled and marked by small fingers. Carefully analyzing the cursive handwriting, he read. "I had no idea Damian still had contact with his mother. Much less that Talia had a daughter," he said, still drowsy, staring at the name 'Talia Head,' to whom the letter was addressed and recognizing his son’s elegant handwriting. Apparently, she still used the alias surname.
"It's not surprising considering you only discovered your son after so many years." The statement could have easily been interpreted as irony, but it was acidic. "She didn’t seem sure Damian lived here; I suppose she found out because of this letter."
"You left her alone downstairs?" he ignored the previous comment.
"I left her in Master Dick's care."
Bruce stared at him for long seconds and hurried out of the room. Halfway down the stairs, he could already see some glimpses of Dick's hair over the back of the sofa, talking to someone, or rather, laughing with someone.
"Dick?" The voice quickly caught his attention, turning his face to see his father approaching. When Bruce stood in front of the fireplace, he could finally look at the child beside the boy. Dick began to say something, but Bruce couldn’t hear. 
He stared at the girl, analyzing everything about her, from the way she intertwined her fingers nervously to her deer-like eyes. Her iris were shining, as if she had cried, and her swollen and bruised lips were quite noticeable. She had definitely been outside not long ago, shaking and rubbing her hands together constantly to warm herself up. She seemed too sweet, but Bruce knows that appearances can be deceiving.
His gaze passed over the pendants hanging from her bracelet, a simple detail that caught him off guard. Two crossed swords and a demonic head, he understood well what they meant; they were some of the symbols of the League of Assassins, the third was a simple "T" surrounded by a moon. He shouldn’t have been surprised, Talia was a possessive woman and he knew that the "T" was her way of marking property.
"Her name is Y/n," he heard Dick say after a long time.
You noticed how this man's eyes went dark while he watched you and couldn’t help but shrink back on the sofa. It was impossible to hold his gaze, and you began to feel ashamed of being stared at for so long.
"Y/n, this is Bruce Wayne."
"What do you want?" That came out ruder than he intended, but his aversion to the League of Assassins stirred a certain anger. The idea that this could all be a trap crossed his mind. You might be young and exude innocence, but you must have enough understanding to participate in their malicious plans.
"I just wanted to see my brother," you said with sadness in your voice, questioning yourself if this whole situation was worth it. Bruce knew the best way to confirm if this was all true would be by his son’s word, but the signs were so explicit that it might not even be necessary.
You don’t look anything like her, at least at first glance, but you wore her favorite colors and clothes so perfectly matched that no girl your age could choose yet, exactly to Talia's taste and with the appropriate youthful touch for your age. The pendants, the cut of your hair, literally everything had her touch. It was impossible for anyone to convince him otherwise.
"Go get Damian." He said, and Dick understood that the message was for him. Bruce needed to make sure you were telling the truth, or at least needed to make sure you weren’t dangerous. This could still be a League scheme or some plot by your mother.
"Can I see him?" Your voice was the loudest you had spoken that night. The excitement was clear, and it was so much that irrationally you stood up to follow Dick, but a calloused hand suddenly wrapped around your torso and stopped you, making your back hit a slightly prominent belly. You looked up and saw the old man again, his expression was not happy, and you realized it was directed at Mr. Wayne, who had an arm extended towards you but that never managed to touch you.
Like his face, his arm was tense, with visible veins and contracted tendons. You didn't know what his intentions were, but by the way the old man grabbed you to prevent him from laying hands on you, maybe he wasn't as good as he or Dick. It was a very scary sight., making you feel that this man could be dangerous. Trusting the old man, you turned to hug him, hiding as much as possible. Mr. Wayne’s aura was dark, very unfriendly, but you still saw how he recoiled with his face displaying a certain sense of regret.
Dick noticed Alfred's sudden movement behind him before he could leave the room. He glanced at their faces and for a moment considered whether it would be appropriate to turn back and mention the conversation he had with you to the butler in secret, but then his eyebrows furrowed thinking of Damian. Maybe he should confront the little demon first.
"Don’t do anything stupid, Bruce." Dick thought.
Frantically he knocked on the boy’s door. One, two, three, four times until he lost count. At no point did he hear any noise inside, so he began to turn the doorknob, only to find it was locked.
"Of course he’d lock it, that brat..."
"What are you doing?" Suddenly Tim's bedroom door behind him opened abruptly, making a sliver of light from inside illuminate the opposite wall. He was obviously irritated at being woken up but still had that tone of seriousness he carried most of the time.
"Where's his room key?" Dick completely ignored his brother's attitude.
"Forget it. I heard him sneak out to patrol again." Tim's voice sounded tired.
"And you let him?!" Dick snapped but reminded himself to contain it, remembering that Jason was sleeping in one of the rooms in that wing and that you three downstairs might hear the commotion. "Why didn’t you stop him?"
"And what good would it do? That boy is too stubborn." Tim tried to defend himself. "Besides, I have his location right here. He’ll be fine." He opened the door a bit more to show one of his computer monitors tracking the trajectory and heart signals of a green dot on the streets of Gotham City.
Dick looked both ways down the hallway before pushing Tim back into his room and closing the door.
"Hey, what's this? Why are you acting so weird?" Tim was startled by Dick's unusual behavior, feeling anxious as he watched him go to the computer to check Damian's exact location, observing the dot on the screen moving. Dick pressed a button, likely an emergency notification to get Damian to return home. Then he turned to Tim, gripping his shoulders and looking at him with intense seriousness.
"Tim, what I'm about to tell you might be a lot to take in, and I need you to try to understand as much as possible." Dick pointed a finger in his face, waiting for confirmation.
"You're scaring me like this. What the hell happened?"
"No questions and no interruptions! Understood?" Dick's tone was authoritative, stepping back only when he saw Tim nodding affirmatively.
"Why the hell is everyone awake downstairs? Did someone die or something?" Jason barged into Tim's room without ceremony, trying to make a joke, but when he saw the ghostly expressions on their faces, he quickly shut the door again, this time with him inside the room. "My God," he exclaimed in shock. "Can I join in on your little secret?" he asked ironically.
"Did you see the girl?" Dick asked Jason nervously, with a certain expectation.
"Yeah. I saw a girl with Bruce and Alfred. But they didn't see me, since I went back upstairs. The mood down there is pretty tense." Jason threw himself on the bed, making the mattress bounce and Tim frown in displeasure. "I think Alfred is going to give him a lecture afterwards."
"She's Bruce's daughter."
Jason propped himself up on his elbows, and Tim had to sit in the computer chair. His mouth formed a perfect 'O' as he struggled to believe Dick's words.
"With who this time?" Jason seemed to be reacting better than Tim to the news, even letting out a light laugh. It was a typical, caustic Jason response.
"That's not all." Dick ignored his comment. "She said she's Damian's twin."
Tim let out a short whistle, processing the idea like a complex calculation. "Tell this story from the beginning, Dick. Why did she show up now?" He finally managed to rejoin the conversation. It took a while for the shock to pass, but now he had his usual rational demeanor.
Dick rubbed his hands over his face, trying to recount the night and organize the information. "Apparently, she doesn't even know Bruce is her father. And he doesn't know about it either."
"Damian also never mentioned having a sister."
"Damn. Hiding one kid for a decade is something, but two?" Jason stared at the floor as if it were the most interesting thing in the world, a strange sensation taking over the room. But seeing the melancholic expression on Dick's face, his curiosity grew even more. "What else do you know, huh Dick?" He questioned him, sensing there was something much deeper behind this, and his brother just gave him an enigmatic look.
"She said she came here to see Damian. That she found out where he was because of a letter he wrote to Talia..." Dick suddenly froze, pulling a little box from his pocket as if it were a dangerous bomb. "While we were talking, she said a man had helped her get here. He gave her a map and asked her to deliver a present to Bruce, but she gave it to me to deliver." He handed the beige little box to the two, but it was Tim who took it.
Whatever it was, it was very well wrapped.
"Is it right to open it?" Tim asked. "I mean, it's for Bruce, isn't it?"
"I already opened it." Dick said bluntly. "I thought it might be a trap, I was careful."
"Give it here." Jason took the small box from Tim's hands. It was the same size as an engagement ring box, perfect for carrying in a pocket. He pulled the lid off and took out a card, freezing when he read it.
"What does it say?" Tim was curious, taking the card from his hands and reading it out loud:
'I sent your daughter home as a demonstration of my benevolence. Merry Christmas, Batman. Signed, H.S.’
"Holy shit," Jason exclaimed, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees. "That bastard figured out Batman's identity."
"Even worse: he knew about her before we did." Tim added reflectively, his voice barely a whisper. "That means he knows much more than just Batman's identity. He might know other things, including our identities. He probably suspects we are also vigilantes."
"I want to hear the whole story properly." Jason's intensely serious voice broke the silence that had settled in the room, determined to fully understand the appearance of this girl and how she got involved with Hugo Strange.
Dick took a deep breath, gathering his thoughts before speaking. "Alright, here it is. Minutes ago, Alfred and I woke up because a girl showed up at the manor claiming to be Damian's sister. She told me that she had a map of Gotham and a letter addressed to Talia from Damian. Alfred brought Bruce to her, and then I went upstairs to call Damian, but I discovered that he's out on patrol. And now we're here."
Tim interrupted, "Wait, so Damian's been in contact with Talia and didn't tell us?"
"That's what it seems like," Dick confirmed, rubbing his temples. "The girl didn't even know Bruce was her father. She mentioned that a man helped her get here and gave her a map along with a present for Bruce."
Jason leaned forward even more. "And this man was Hugo Strange."
"Not xactly, he could have sent someone else." Dick nodded. "The present was that card. Strange knows about her and about Bruce being Batman. He sent her here as some twisted gift."
Tim, processing the information, asked, "Did she say anything about why Strange would do this? What does he gain from sending her here?"
"She didn't seem to know much about Strange's intentions," Dick replied. "She just wanted to see Damian. But it’s clear that Strange knows a lot more than he's letting on. He must have some larger plan in mind."
Jason clenched his fists, his anger palpable. "So, this girl is just a pawn in his game. We need to figure out what his endgame is."
"Agreed," Dick said. "But first, we need to make sure she's safe and find out everything she knows. We also need to talk to Damian and see what tell us about all this."
Tim nodded, adding, "And we have to stay vigilant. If Strange knows this much, we can't underestimate him. He could have more moves planned."
Jason stood up, his determination evident. "We need to get to the bottom of this before anyone gets hurt."
"But what about Talia? Did she just let her daughter go out there, be deceived by a stranger, and then simply come here?" Tim pointed out. "And you, Dick? Are you going to tell Bruce?"
Suddenly, the sound of someone tapping on the window glass was heard. The three brothers turned their heads to see Damian, clad in his Robin attire, asking to come in. "Open up already, you idiots."
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Tag list:
@lafrone @sylum @mileskisser @belowbreadcrumbs @riddle-me-im-sirius
@rafa-the-beautiful @shehrazadekey @fairuzwhat @bedeater @arianapjs
@idonthaveanameforthisacc @azulawayne @nciolisa @lovelywritersgarden
@spideybv28 @faimmm @formula-space @cherry-peach-flavored
🍒
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Credits for the divider: @cafekitsune
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deanstead · 1 day
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With Spencer
Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader
Requested: no
Summary: Y/N deals with the wave of anxiety that hits her after Spencer's conference
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Word Count: 900+
Tags/Warnings: established relationship, anxiety, insecurities
A/N: Had to get this out of my head so I wrote this on a whim, then it sat in my drafts because I was worried it sucked (still am) but @halsteadlover once again threatened to kick my ass (because that's how we communicate love) so I'm posting this. Please do not shoot me if it sucks lol.
SPENCER REID MASTERLIST
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You stood off to the side of the spacious conference hall, quietly watching as people approached him after his spotlight presentation.
You’d have been able to spot him anywhere he was standing even if the place was twice as crowded as it was now.
There seemed to be something that had drawn you to him almost automatically since the first time you met, and he seemed to emit a glow that only you could see.
Spencer raised his head slightly, his eyes locking onto yours effortlessly, and he smiled softly at you before his attention was drawn back to the person next to him.
You couldn’t help the small smile that flit across your face, accompanied by the familiar flutter in your gut that only Spencer managed to make you feel.
At the same time, a darker swirl of insecurity seemed to rise up to meet the innocent butterfly flitting around in your stomach.
It wasn’t new. This feeling of being inadequate next to Spencer, the feeling that he was made for greater things and that maybe somehow you were holding him back. It was totally irrational but the thought still greeted you once in a while. Sometimes it reared its head when he made a joke that you didn’t totally get or when he started rambling and you lost him halfway. But even if that wasn’t it, personally watching him stand up in front of an entire conference hall and deliver facts and research you didn’t fully grasp would definitely do it.
You didn’t know how long you stood there, lost in your thoughts while trying to keep the dark swirl of anxiety as controlled as possible.
“Sorry, I didn’t expect to take so long.”
His voice pulled you out of your thoughts and you smiled back at him, although the look in his eyes told you that he knew something was up.
Spencer didn’t ask, merely smiling as he let you lead the way out of the hall and to the car.
It was about halfway through the car ride back that you realized you’d been a little too quiet. But that realization was too late.
“You okay?” Spencer asked quietly.
You looked up into his hazel eyes and tried a smile.
Spencer didn’t say anything, his eyes flicking back to the road before he made a deviation in his route and you raised your eyebrows.
“Caffeine replenish.” He said quietly, as if he could read your mind.
You watched Spencer as he stood at the counter, letting the intrusive thought of ‘maybe coming with him wasn’t such a great idea’ creep into your head.
When Spencer had asked if you wanted to come, all you’d thought about had been how happy you were that he wanted you there, and about how you’d take any extra time you could spend with Spencer before work whisked him away again.
You wondered if you would still have come if you’d known how you would be feeling now. Yet, something told you that you would have. Nothing would have deterred you from time with Spencer.
That thought was merely reinforced when Spencer slid into the seat opposite you, armed with your favorite coffee order.
After a short silence, Spencer broke it. "You okay?"
You nodded, then you shrugged realizing how futile it was to try to hide your emotions from your profiler boyfriend who was sitting opposite you.
You looked back down at your coffee, and sighed.
“You were amazing today, Spence. Really amazing.”
Spencer smiled back at you, the shy smile that seemed to be reserved just for you and you felt your heart flutter once again.
“You are amazing. And I just… well, I’m not.”
Spencer blinked back at you.
“Actually, recent studies have shown that couples are indeed more likely to be similar than different, but it also shows that other than similarities, complementary skills and features are just as important…” He paused mid-sentence. “I’m rambling again, right?”
You couldn’t help but crack a smile.
“What I’m saying is, you are amazing.” Spencer concluded.
Now, it was your turn to blink back at him.
“You have no idea. I can explain a lot of things, Y/N. But I can’t explain this. I can’t explain why we fit together like the last two pieces of a puzzle that didn’t seem likely but are actually the only two pieces that are supposed to be together. We just are.”
You ran your finger across the rim of your mug and Spencer reached out for your hand, taking it and playing gently with your fingers, almost like a habit.
“We are meant to be, crazy as that sounds coming from me.” Spencer laughed as he said it.
You let out a small chuckle.
“So don’t…” Spencer said, his voice dropping lower just slightly as his voice trailed off.
You glanced up now, unable to miss the crack of slight insecurity in his voice and you realized he was just as scared as you were.
Spencer smiled. "See? Similarity."
Sliding your hand out of his grasp momentarily, you made your way to sit by him in the small corner booth, sitting as close as you could before you slipped your hand back into his.
“I could never.” You whispered, in response to the sentence Spencer hadn't been able to bring himself to finish.
Spencer didn’t answer, just leaned toward you, taking your face gently in his hands as he pressed his lips against yours, almost like he was sealing a deal. You smiled against his touch, pulling closer to him, before you nuzzled your face into the crook of his neck.
The dark swirl was still there in the pit of your stomach, although it was slightly muted, but somehow but it didn’t matter because Spencer was here as well.
And as long as you had Spencer, the dark swirl had nothing on you.
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THANK YOU FOR READING!! PLEASE TELL ME WHAT YOU THOUGHT OF THIS!!
If you want to support me, buy me a coffee!
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nattinatalia · 2 days
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Jack Harlow x Reader Instagram AU
- (Mía is 18 and EZ is 15 here)
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Liked by jackharlow, yourusername, urbanwyatt, ezharlow, cassiewyatt, and 5,887,345 others
alizemiaharlow We’re B🅰️ck 🩸
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yourusername Yayyy, can’t wait to watch.
alizemiaharlow 🤝🏻 ❤️
jackharlow Proud of you 💜
alizemiaharlow 🥺 thanks dad 💜
urbanwyatt My niece is all grown up 😢 proud of you princess.
alizemiaharlow 🥺🫶🏼 thank you Nino
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Liked by cassiewyatt, yourusername, jackharlow, alizemiaharlow, and 6,877,345 others
ezharlow Gazebo Festival ready 🤘🏼 let’s go!!!
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yourusername 😍 That’s my baby boy!!!
ezharlow 🥰 love you ama’
alizemiaharlow 🤮 🙄
cassiewyatt Okkkkk basic fit goes crazy 🔥
ezharlow I hate you! Why are you always coming for my fits?
cassiewyatt Because you dress like every other white boy, step it up.
druski HAHAHAHAHAHA 😂😂😂
ezharlow Shut up with your fungus looking feet
jackharlow Angel Ezequiel
ezharlow Sorry uncle Dru
druski Nahh own that shit up 😂
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alizemiaharlow A time was had 💥 Day 1 was a success.
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yourusername Yesssss today was fun.
jackharlow Thanks for showing up bug 🐞
alizemiaharlow Always 🤝🏻❤️
cozane It was soo good to see you kid. Don’t forget about us.
alizemiaharlow Uncle Avatar 🥺 never everrrr could I forget about you. Even though I’m upset that I didn’t get a care package but don’t worry, I made sure to cop on my own 🤘🏼🥰
cozane What the? I did send you a package, you were literally the only one who got everything.
alizemiaharlow 🤷🏻‍♀️
ezharlow About that 🫣
cozane Punk ass you got your own
ezharlow I needed more?
alizemiaharlow 🙄
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yourusername Proud of you baby! Always. I’m always team you and your art. I know things didn’t go as planned for day 2, but seeing how happy you were last night, made me emotional and beyond happy. You put in so much dedication, sweat and tears into this, you should feel very proud because I’m very proud of you. Thank you for allowing me to be part of night 1, it was so special to me. I love you for ever and always. I can’t wait what you have planned next.
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alizemiaharlow Superstars ⭐️ ✨
ezharlow My parents are the shit 😎
jackharlow I love you 🥺 thank you for accepting to perform, I know you were a little thrown off by the idea. It’s us against the world, this is a new era and I can’t wait to takeover with you.
cassiewyatt ❤️❤️
claybornharlow 🔥
user of course she was going to perform 🙄 she was the bathroom break 😂
user no way was she going to perform after Queen SZA that would’ve been dead asf 😂
alizemiaharlow People like you is the reason why my mom was iffyyy about the idea to perform. But I’m glad she did, she did amazing, per usual. You’re just mad my dad is her number one fan and includes her in everything, sorry your dad can’t do that for your mom.
ezharlow 💀 Send me your addyyy, I’ll send some autographed pictures of my dad so you’re not so bitter!
allabouttheharlows One thing about Mia and EZ, they’re gonna defend Jack and Y/N
ezharlow They regret ever giving us permission to be on social media 🤣
jackharlow 🫣 We do.
- SURPRISE!!!!!!
I know it’s a surprise for me as well.
Life has bee, interesting, it’s been testing me daily, but I’ve seen some growth within myself and it did me good being away. I see all the messages you guys continue to send me, I feel guilty not replying but I didn’t want to give false hope of me being back 100%! I don’t want to commit just yet, but I do want to come with a schedule for me being here and posting. So let me know which days work for you guys best.
TAG LIST
@heavyhitterheaux @harlowsbby @arination99 @cmalass @jackharloww @minkookie95 @deannaard @jacksmoviestar @harlowcomehome @fdl305 @httpkoylinnn @xoxokiaraaxoxo @hoodharlow @automaticpeachsong @amethyst09 @aliciacat20 @allyson15 @gabbylovesreading @stefansalvatoresgf @violetdreamsworld @carma-fanficaddict @jasminxts @itsaaliyah2 @itsyagirljaz @harrycanyonmoonn @neon-lights-and-glitter @awhore4moree @toocriticalharlow @thefemalestorywriter @lightsoutstyles @violetslays818 @fantasywritersstuff @vanwritesfan-fiction
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kymerawrites · 1 day
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hii, if your taking in requests. Could you write something about simon and reader having a teenage son who knocked up his high school girlfriend and reader thought that it was simon who cheated on her and knocked up somebody when in fact he didnt and was planing an anniversary gift.
Like the pregnancy stick could be found like in the car or in simon jacket that the son sometimes use like that.
❤️❤️
Ooh this is going to be a fun one! I wanted to try something with !papa Simon for a while but let’s give it a go! Ty for the idea love 🤍🤍 for this I’ll use shym and Simon (NOT RELATED TO THE SIR SIMON RILEY, see it as a multiverse lol)
Life is amazing, married, settled life, 2 children of my own and a house in the city. It has been 19 years since me and Simon met, and 17 years ago since we had our first of our 2 children. Killian and hope.
As I got into the car I felt as if my worst dreams became true, a pregnancy test on the seat. Simon was still at work, we lived close at the 141 headquarters. After I became pregnant I surrendered myself from that lifestyle but Simon was still enjoying it. Even becoming the captain of the team after John price retired.
I picked up the test, tears welling up in my eyes, was he really seeing someone else?
I went down stairs to see hope sitting on the couch, she was a copy of her father’s behavior, always stoic. But for me she had her soft spot ofcourse, we parented her to be strong, wise and powerful. And I think we did a great job.
She saw my eyes with tears.
“Mamma? What is going on?” She rushed instantly to the doorway and held me “tell me what’s wrong?”
I instantly hid the test in my pocket, they shouldn’t know when I don’t have closure yet.
“Hope.. it’s fine, everything is okay. I just had a look at some old photos of me and your dad when we were younger.”
She looked up in my eyes “mom you’re so emotional, what happened to the cold and fearless lady that my father tells so proudly to everyone about?”
I laughed “being pregnant with you 16 years ago made my hormones like this!” I gave a playful push to her and went to sit on the couch.
“Love, where is killian?”
Hope rolled her eyes “2 possible options, the gym or out with friends.”
I sighed
Killian is an actual copy of his father, Simon is his role model. But he is like me from back in the days, always going out with friends or to a party.
Until I heard the door click.
Simon came home with only his mask still on, hoor laughed when she saw it, it’s not that likely to see her father with his mask on.
“Dad you look stupid!” She burst out laughing and instantly switched to mad “didn’t I tell you to not use my eyeshadow pallet anymore?! You know how much that thing costed me?!”
He chuckled and closed the door behind him, locking it before taking his hat off and throwing it on the side as usual, placing it next to his military jacket that he placed on the rack.
He ruffled Hope's hair and gently squeezed her cheek, before he walked closer to his wife and wrapped his arms around her from behind, placing a kiss on her neck as he rested his chin on her shoulder, his stubble and facial scars leaving a ticklish sensation on her skin.
He tilted his head slightly. "What's wrong love? What's with the tears?"
The sight of his wife's tears made his heart flutter. She was the most important in his life, he wouldn't let anything bad happen to her. He cupped her cheeks, gently and softly wiping the tears away with his thumbs as he turned her around, lifting her chin up.
"Hey baby, look at me. What happened?" He questioned and softly mumbled, holding her close and rubbing her back, looking right at her. He was always direct and straightforward, he hated when she started crying without a clear reason.
Simon looked at hope and nodded for her to go upstairs
Hope quickly nodded, standing up and heading upstairs to her room, taking a last glance at her worried parents before closing her door. Simon cupped his wife's cheeks again and kissed her tenderly on the lips, hoping that would calm her down and make her talk.
I showed the pregnancy test “20 years of marriage Simon, and this is how you try to dispose me? Who is that fucking bitch? It’s not like she can give you what I cannot.”
His eyes widened as he saw the pregnancy test in her hand, looking back up at her. He wrapped his arms around her and held her tight, sighing deeply as he placed his forehead on hers, shaking his head softly.
"Baby, no. I'm not trying to dispose you love, I wouldn't do that. You know I love you, why would I cheat?" He said and gently rubbed his thumb over her cheek, his voice filled with sincerity.
“Then why did I find this in our car? Who was it?”
He gently pulled away, sighing again as he ran his hand through his hair in a stressed and flustered manner, his eyes fixated on the wall in front of him. This conversation was going in a direction he never wished it would go.
He didn't answer her yet, taking a moment to find the right words.
“It’s not mine. And no you have a google cam so you won’t see me with a woman in our car.”
I laughed “I’m not stupid Simon, who else could possibly drive our car?”
We both looked each other in the eye and both came to a realization.
“Fuck it’s one of the kids.” I said
He groaned and facepalmed, shaking his head. "Ugh, I knew I raised them wrong.”
He sighed in disappointment before he continued: "I'm going to talk with Hope, you go talk with Killian. They'll only talk when we're separated. I'm going to find out what the hell is going on.”
And with that, he let go of her and began walking up the stairs, muttering "Damn kids..”
As he reached the door of Hope's room, he softly knocked, his knuckles tapping gently against the wood. A soft and slightly annoyed voice echoed from inside, her words muffled slightly but still faintly audible.
"Yeah?" She said from within the room and after a few seconds, she sighed before opening the door, her eyes immediately widening in surprise as her tall father stood in front of her.
"Uh, Hey dad," she gulped, gulping.
Ghost raised a brow to her nervousness and leaned against the doorframe, crossing his arms as he watched her intently. He could tell something was up and he wasn't going to leave until she spoke.
"Hope." He stated simply, his gaze never leaving hers as he eyed her up and down. She could feel his presence intimidating her but he remained silent, waiting for her to speak.
Hope swallowed hard, her hands gripping tightly to the door as she nervously looked into her father's intense gaze. His height towered over her, making her seem even more small and vulnerable under his intimidating presence.
After a few moments of uncomfortable silence, she finally spoke up, her voice shaky and filled with uncertainty. "Yes, dad?" She managed to say, mentally cursing herself out for flinching.
Ghost's gaze remained fixed on hers, his expression unwavering. He could sense her unease, but he wasn't going to let her off the hook that easily.
"We need to talk, Hope." He stated firmly. "Now. Close the door and have a seat."
Hope gulped heavily, her heart racing as she closed the door behind her and took a seat in a nearby chair, crossing her arms in an attempt to appear nonchalant. But Ghost saw right through that façade, and he wasn't fooled one bit.
With his hands crossed over his chest, he surveyed his daughter intently, watching her every move as she waited for the inevitable interrogation.
“Is this some military training? If so maybe try this on Killian as I don’t want to be bombarded by terrorists any time soon.”
Ghost rolled his eyes at her attempt to joke, not amused in the slightest. Though, he couldn't blame her for trying to diffuse some of the tension, it wouldn't work. He uncrossed his arms and stepped closer, his frame towering over her as he looked down at her with unwavering eyes.
"Hope," he began firmly. "We need to talk about the pregnancy test in the car. Explain."
She looked disgusted
“First of, no I’m not pregnant, second off yes I did do some stuff but I always take my birth control. Very embarrassing to have this talk with my dad..” she muttered
He raised a brow, clearly unconvinced but not exactly surprised. He knew how sneaky his daughter could be, she always had a rebellious streak in her. He crossed his arms again and leaned against the wall, his eyes never leaving hers.
"Alright," he replied slowly. "And the pregnancy test? Where did that come from? Who was it?" He pressed.
She laughed “oh dad you have so much to learn, maybe ask at that irritating douche I need to call my brother”
Ghost gritted his teeth in annoyance, his patience starting to wear thin. He knew that she was still not fully cooperating and playing games with him.
"Language, Hope," he reprimanded, his tone firm and authoritative. "You need to explain this to me right now and stop playing games. Who are you really sleeping with?"
“Oh my god.. I haven’t slept with someone in weeks! But killian has some chicks being head over heels for him!”
He listened to her explanation, his eyes narrowing as she mentioned about her brother. It didn't surprise him that Killian would be a heartthrob, what surprised him was the situation happening behind his back. He sighed and rubbed the back of his head.
"And you know this because..?" He questioned, raising a brow.
She tried to get out of this situation “uh well, yeah uh..”
Ghost's piercing gaze never wavered as he stepped closer to her, towering above her as he firmly and assertively raised a brow.
"Hope," He warned, his voice laced with warning. "You're not leaving this room until you give a straight answer. Stop stalling or the next conversation will be much worse."
It was clear that he was done playing games and would not tolerate any more nonsense. He expected the truth, and he expected it now.
“Oh my god dad! I can’t tell that’s a secret between me and killian or else mom won’t sleep anymore”
His annoyance grew with her response, clearly not satisfied with it. He gritted his teeth, frustration evident in his eyes.
"Hope, enough with the games." He said lowly, his voice dangerously close to a growl.
"You have three seconds to give me one, straight answer, or I’ll have your mother find out what exactly is going on. And this isn’t a threat, it's a warning. You don’t want to see your mother’s reaction to all of this. Understood?"
“Fine, killian takes me to his friends house parties every Saturday so we can both have some fun and he just parties with me.. and I guess he went with a girl that evening?”
He listened intently, taking in every word she said with a serious expression. His brow furrowed as she continued and when she was done, he let out a deep sigh. He ran a hand over his head as he processed the information his daughter have given.
"I see." He finally said after a moment of tense silence. "Is this why you two has been coming back home late every Saturday night?" He questioned, his tone firmer than before.
“I’m not the one to blame here! I’m just enjoying my young years, now please get out before I make sure you somehow get out? Also go talk to killian!”
His eyes narrowed at her request, clearly not amused with her attitude, but he had to admit, she was not the one to blame this time. With a deep sigh, he nodded slightly and walked to the door.
"We will continue this later," he warned before walking out of her room and closing the door behind him. He stood there for a moment, taking a deep breath before walking downstairs to his next mission. Confronting Killian.
He saw shym sitting on the kitchen counter pouring herself a glass of wine, she looked so sexy today.
Simon couldn't help but admire her beauty as she stood there, pouring herself a glass of wine. In his eyes, she was always sexy and attractive. He slowly approached her, placing a hand on her shoulder from behind, and gently massaging it before planting a kiss on her neck.
“Baby is kil still out with his mates?” He asked shym.
Shym looked irritated ready to throw her glass at the window “what did hope say? I swear to god-“
It’s Killian Simon said
Shym looked surprised at her husband
“What did you just say?”
Simon chuckled also being not amused at all “Your daughter is too much like you, and your son is a heartrob.”
Shym smiled “we did make beautiful kids didn’t we?”
Until she heard a click of the door and Killian walked inside. And there was a sound of the front door opening Killian coming inside the house.
Simon’s eyes flicked towards the door as Killian entered the house, his attention immediately shifting to his son. He gently squeezed Shym's shoulder before making his way towards the entrance, his eyes filled with a mixture of concern and disappointment.
Killian froze at the sight of his father waiting for him by the door, he gulped nervously, sensing that he was in trouble.
Shym walked behind him staring daggers in his eyes “catch it.” And threw the pregnancy test towards Killian
Killian caught the pregnancy test in mid-air, his eyes widening in disbelief and fear. He looked pale and sweat started to form on his forehead, his heart thumping rapidly in his chest.
Simon stood there with his arms crossed, his expression stern and disapproving, waiting for his son to explain.
Killian gulped, his hands trembling slightly as he held the pregnancy test.
"I… I can explain,” he finally managed to stutter out, his voice shaky and weak. “I-"
I walked towards Killian and gave him a slap on the shoulder “first of, what the actual fuck are you having unprotected sex? U are 17 Killian!” I wanted to berate him more before Simon intervened
Killian winced at the slap and looked at his parents sheepishly, rubbing his shoulder gently. He knew he had messed up, and he braced himself for the verbal berating that was to come from his mother. But Simon stepped in, placing a calming hand on her shoulder.
Simon gave his son a serious look before speaking. "Explain." He simply said.
Killian took a deep breath, trying to steady himself.
"I’m sorry, okay? I was at a party and things got carried away. I wasn’t thinking straight. I didn’t mean for this to happen, I swear." The boy began, his eyes averted as guilt washed over him. "I just...I didn’t think-"
A tense silence hung in the air as Killian explained himself. But both Simon and Shym remained unsympathetic with a stern expression, clearly not satisfied with his excuse.
Simon's gaze hardened as he shook his head. "You didn’t think?” He repeated, his voice firm. "That's not an excuse, do you understand the consequences of your actions?"
“What is the girl going to do with this baby? Are you even sure it’s yours.”
Killian looked even more anxious as his mother questioned him about what the girl planned to do with the baby. He hadn't even thought about that. And as for the paternity, he honestly didn’t know.
After a few moments of silent thinking, he finally responded. "I don't know," he admitted weakly. "I haven't talked to her yet."
Simon nodded, a hint of disappointment in his eyes. He could sense his son's guilt and fear, but it wouldn't resolve any of this.
“You will talk to her. Now.” He stated firmly, his authoritative tone leaving no room for negotiation.
“Roger that sir!” And Killian ran out of the house
Simon nodded, watching as his son dashed out of the house. He let out a deep sigh and leaned back against the kitchen counter, rubbing his temples in frustration.
Shym stood beside him, her hands on her hips as she stared at the empty door. After a few moments of silence, she finally spoke and looked at Simon with a hint of a smirk.
"You’re going softer on that boy."
“I am a mother, not a drill sergeant.” I laughed
Simon chuckled slightly at her remark, a warm smile tugged at the corners of his lips. "Of course, you’re not," he agreed, wrapping an arm around her waist. He pulled her closer and planted a soft kiss on her forehead.
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memyselfandmya · 2 days
Text
CHAOS THEORY S1 REVIEW
So after a day to process the show, I think I am more than ready to finally talk about it and give a full on review. [HINDSIGHT: This review took two days to put together, having to rewatch the show for evidence and to strengthen my ideas, and then having to organize it into something that makes sense. Just know that this is essentially my messy love letter to the show] I will be taking on a more objective perspective and focusing more on the writing aspect rather than my personal feelings, especially as a writer and hopefully future screenwriter. So let's get into it, heavy spoilers below the cut. Like as in I pick out little details that alone might not be a spoiler but I make them into a spoiler.
For starters, the show exceeded my expectations and the writing was phenomenal. Even when choices were made that I personally might not agree with or necessarily want, the execution of them was incredible so I couldn't really care to hate them. Overall, I have no heavy qualms with the show and I loved every moment of it.
It was complex and it was messy and I thoroughly enjoyed that. There's so much going on action-wise, character-wise, and mystery-wise and it's amazing how well balanced it is. What we get is real and raw and largely uncensored. We get conflict between two brothers, conflict between two girlfriends, moments where trust is lacking, and so so much more. It all feels very natural and realistic because that's how real people truly are: complex and messy. Also, even when these characters are going through all of these conflicts, you can still tell that they're family and they love each other.
The creators don't shy away from the trauma either, we get flashbacks, explicit mentions of PTSD and mental health issues, and we actually see Kenji having a panic attack, too. When I tell you, the way these characters were brought to life was so amazing. For all of this to still be considered a kids show is incredible and rarely ever seen. I'm gonna go more in depth with the complexity stuff later on, probably when I get more to the character analysis part of this review.
I like how we get to see more dynamics between groups that we didn't see much of in CC: Ben and Brooklynn, Sammy and Ben, Brooklynn and Yaz, etc.
The humor in this show is top-tier and very much natural. Hardly any of it feels forced and it's very much in-character. Just in general, all of the feelings in this show were amazing. It was a rollercoaster of emotions watching this. I felt happy, I was devastated, I laughed a lot, I felt bad for the characters, I was upset and mad, I was scared (oh boy was I scared), and I was tense with anticipation.
Going off of these feelings, the overall tone of the show was incredible. They said that it'd be darker and it was. There were so many times where I myself was scared and wondered how this show was still TV-Y7. There were so many ominous moments and here are some that I noted:
The moment that black car on the road actually does start following them. You can hear the whistle in the background of ep.3 before the raptors actually come in. Carl’s dead body in the car, and the view of his limp hand. In general the scene where they’re being hunted at the ranch, it’s reminds me of playing hide and seek with my cousins but 10x more darker and with higher stakes. “I don’t hear anything.” “Exactly.” Ugh these moments always hit well. The shoes of the dead police guard. Microbang lady whistling and then stepping out of the car The DPW aiming for the van The allosaurus being released from the vehicle. The dinosaurs watching the dude get eaten.  The garage door opening, revealing micro bangs and then all of the dinosaurs falling silent. The moment where she picks up her whistle because we all know what happens next.  When the atrocirapotor picks up the camper’s scent. You can see the small smile on Microbangs' face when she realizes the kids are there.
I love the rearview/sideview mirror shots, it really symbolizes the constantly looking over your shoulder because you’re being hunted aspect of the show. It adds suspense and questioning which is perfect for a conspiracy show.  
I love the use of Chekhov's Gun and foreshadowing. All of my examples may be exaggerations or unintentional but I'm going to stick with it anyways. In ep.2 when the boys are at the gas station, there are signs that say "Report All Spills!" (maybe these are typically at gas stations, idk) which makes sense because you don't want gas on the ground especially because it's so flammable and then I saw the gas pump fall and gas spill out and I had a feeling about what was going to happen next. Sure enough, a fire started. Also in ep.3, when Sammy steps on the creepy floorboard and she's trying to remember where her pitchfork is, and then when they're being hunted, Sammy knowing to avoid stepping on that board only to stumble into the pitchfork that she had been looking for. Also, the King Dino billboard at the beginning of ep.4.
The animation was stunning and the cinematography(?) was breathtaking. We got so many wonderful views.
The pacing is so good. I’m not going to go over it because that’d be a lot but basically everything felt in the right moment. 
I like in ep.2 how we’re introduced into the very first scene with Brooklynn’s new VA. We have Ben being woken up by a mysterious phone call and a mysterious voice on the other line that we don’t recognize. Who is this mysterious, unknown woman? It’s Brooklynn!
There are people who don't like the fact that Darius and Kenji are arguing again and who think that it's a reused plotline that shouldn't be and I understand the feeling of wanting something different but I also have to disagree. While it is the same thing we have in CC, I genuinely can't think of a different way this could have gone that wasn't more in-character than this. The reason why it's being reused is because that part about Kenji hasn't changed. While he's gone through some amazing emotional development, he still deeply cares about his friends and also about trust. Him not liking it when people play with their lives can still be an important value to him, even with his growth. And I personally feel like in this scenario Kenji's anger and his hurt was especially more justified than in CC because in this case, Brooklynn actually "died" instead of just getting kidnapped. And while I don't blame Darius or hate him for not being there, it makes sense why Kenji does.
This time around, it's going to be a lot harder for them to get on good terms. I also like how this time, it's not as subtle and they are actively jabbing at one another. I also like how it's more mutual. Like with CC I was like, "leave my baby alone, kenji, he's just a little innocent kid." and now I'm like "oh shit, Darius you ate with that." Even when they're arguing, they do still care for each other and there are moments where they still support the other. Then there are the little things that causes Kenji's anger to resurface like the password thing so more fuel is constantly being added. And then the "you and me, we're brothers right?" is absolutely gut wrenching.
One thing I appreciate is how Kenji isn’t even really mad at Darius anymore. Not for him liking Brooklynn, anyways. To me this shows a heightened emotional maturity. Especially since in CC we saw him be petty with his anger towards Darius and even in the early episodes of CT but now he’s bypassing all of his personal qualms and getting to what matters most to him without the extra pettiness: why wasn’t he there for Brooklynn? Why wasn’t he there for the people he loves. Kenji’s relationship with Brooklynn isn’t important. The fact that Darius fell for his ex doesn’t matter. What matters to him is that Brooklynn, someone they both (all) deeply cared about died, and the guy who loved her wasn’t there when she needed him. The tenderness and the softness of this scene was way more impactful and sorrowful than had Kenji angrily went after Darius. This makes the conflict still feel different from the one we saw in CC. All in all, I think their conflict adds to the complexity and (realistic) messiness of it all.
Even though I’m not the biggest Brookenji/Kenlynn fan, seeing them drift apart was so disheartening to watch because you can tell that Kenji really cared about Brooklynn and he was putting so much effort into the relationship when Brooklynn was distracted. I like how even though I’m not a big fan of the ship, I’m still convinced to root for them which shows compelling writing. But the baby talk fucking ruined it. I’m back to not liking it. The whole breakup situation very much reminded me of the episode of CC where Brooklynn is late to the date because they were out investigating. Again, I’m glad that Kenji is sticking up for himself though, and distancing people when they need to be distanced. I also love the little detail of Kenji calling Darius’ mom every week. Just emphasizes that he’s still a family man and doesn’t forget the people who helped him.
“I’m in a really good place now, and I got here by myself.” This line is so impactful to me because in early CC we know Kenji to be lazy and somebody who expects everything to go his way without putting in the effort so this is, one, very symbolic of his development as a character, and two, explains why he’s so proud of where he is now and his business that he’s got going on--even if it doesn’t look to be as successful. It makes sense why he’d be so protective over what he’s made for himself. I really respect him for putting up that boundary because he’s so right; Daniel doesn’t deserve him much less to speak to him, and Kenji doesn’t deserve to put himself through that emotional turmoil when he’s finally reached a good place. I think it makes it even more impactful when he does choose to go especially because it’d be totally valid if he didn’t. And then not only being subject to more of his dad’s manipulation but also having to witness him die.
I’m actually surprised and very happy that Dreamworks didn’t go the redeeming Daniel route. I would have expected this kind of show to make Daniel forgivable but he’s still a bad person and a manipulative father who hasn’t changed much. To me it seems more realistic because Daniel doesn’t seem like a character who learns his lesson and it furthers the plot with the whole Brooklynn thing. Also, Daniel's sacrifice is not a redemption. He's still a bad character. I don't know if any of you are familiar with Dreamworks' other show, She-ra Princess of Power, but there's an abusive mother figure in it, Shadow Weaver, who also sacrifices herself for the characters she abused, but before that she was still manipulative the same way Daniel was. They both died before they could truly change their ways and atone for their actions which is why it's not a redemption. Daniel Kon did not redeem himself by saving Kenji.
I also actually like Daniel’s death, and no, not just because I hate him as a character. In season 5, he’s the big bad antagonist that the kids have to go up against, and he’s a real threat, right? Do the raptors care about Daniel’s villain era? Do they care that he was a big character in the OG show? No. And that shows that the writers don’t care either (but in a good way). Because we don’t have any of the main Nublar Six dying (except for Brooklynn sorta ig??), there’s a lot of opportunity to call plot armor and stuff and say that the writers are pulling their punches. But they’re willing to kill one of the big antagonists from CC in a random episode, so, to some extent, there is minimum plot armor. You can be a great big villain and still these dinosaurs will kill you.
Also, this gives us so much opportunity with Kenji’s character. We get to see what it looks like having to grieve the life of somebody who you hated and who abused you and yet still be devastated over his death. Showing Kenji breakdown over Daniel’s death adds an entirely new layer of complexity to the story line. It’s so much more impactful than having Kenji be apathetic towards his death or be like, “good riddance.” The detail of Kenji speaking at the end really gave all the more impact to the entire episode.
Kenji’s panic attack in ep.7 is really powerful. First, the wonderful cinematography (the watering of Kenji’s eyes, omg) and the 1st person pov segments. Then we have the voice acting, chef’s kiss. Just the flat out impact of this scene all together: Kenji balling his eyes out after the death of someone who doesn’t even deserve his mourning is heart wrenching. I hate Daniel and I’m glad he’s dead, but also seeing Kenji break down over it almost makes me wish he wasn’t. By far one of the saddest scenes in the show.  Again the cinematography of it. Darius hugging a sobbing Kenji in the middle of a field with the car’s red lights beaming on them. Then Mateo just standing there awkwardly. LMFAO.
It’s cool because we have this gut wrenching moment and then we’re immediately brought into a feeling of awkwardness with this random new character there and it’s so jarring but fitting because you have these two moments where Kenji’s grief but also the need to keep moving coexist and one needs to take priority over the other but the other one is still important. I’m just saying we are feeling what the characters in the show feel, which is good. Then we have Kenji going ballistic on Mateo’s ass and man the emotions packed into the scene.
Also Mateo. I want to trust him, and I do. But there’s also a suspiciousness to him. I love him though. But, it felt oddly convenient that he was able to locate them so many times. He says that his daughter helped him track them but how does his daughter of all people track them when they’re moving all over the place and also the way he talks about her, “I’ve got a little girl back home,” and the pan over to the crayon drawing made me picture a young child. His story is interesting though, too, and complex for a side character. Just feels a bit like a suspicious deus ex machina.
I love how the others are so in tune with one another and then Mateo says something and they all jump, forgetting he’s there. They are all very much close with each other and oblivious to the people around them. He's definitely out of the loop. Darker thought, what if at some point (or now, even) his daughter gets kidnapped/held hostage by the hunters so he’s forced to mislead the camp fam in order to keep her safe?
The opening scene of ep.6 is top tier and I love how we’re getting right down deep into the good stuff, and by good stuff I mean the trauma. The portrayal of Yasmina’s PTSD is so incredible to see and all of the flashes of dinosaurs really put us in Yaz’s mind. Also the heartbeats sounds just make this an even more intense scene. What’s also amazing is that we see Yaz making progress with handling her trauma but she’s still struggling with it too. Complexity. What I also love is how Yaz’s PTSD has allowed her to become more equipped to manage her trauma more than the other campers have, and because she’s able to grasp a hold of it so well, she’s able to help Sammy manage her own anxiety, too. 
I feel as if Ben is almost reverting back into his pre-Nublar self and also like the Ben we saw in CC’s “At Least…”. He’s become a lot more paranoid and on edge which is very interesting to see. Ben being completely wary of the gas station attendant and being unwilling to stop is a major display of Ben’s anxiousness. Could the fire in ep.2 be symbolism for Ben’s paranoia in that episode? I may be looking too deep into it, but think about it. The spilled gas is all of Ben’s conspiracies and theories; alone, it’s not much of an obvious problem but when paired with the right ignition, a spark or being hunted by raptors, for example, it turns into an uncontrollable problem. Ben’s paranoia causes him to be irrational and unconsolable just like that fire and needs to be be extinguished so it doesn't destroy anything. I also like the little detail of Darius noticing the car on the side of the road in ep.2 and becoming suspicious about it. But then Ben thanks Darius for keeping him grounded so Darius doesn’t mention anything about the car in order to not send him back to the state of paranoia he was in earlier.
Then we also see Ben’s anxiousness in the beginning of ep.4 about Bumpy. Seeing him so concerned about her really tugs on those heart strings because you can tell the love between them runs deep. The passion in ep.9 is so incredibly palpable especially when he’s panicking and crying at the sound of Bumpy being abused. I really felt that scene because I know that watching someone you love get abused and not being able to stop it is so emotionally overwhelming The emotion packed into that scene, holy shit. 
I also just love how we’re allowing men to cry. It’s so normalized in media to have the guys always being tough and masculine men who never sheds a tear but we are really knocking down the toxic masculinity in this show and normalizing men displaying emotion (beyond anger). We see all of the boys in this show break down: Kenji, Ben, Darius, and never once does them crying make them embarrassed or emasculated. Even in CC, the boys were allowed to show feelings and it didn’t weaken their masculinity at all. It’s really powerful and I’m glad we’re stepping away from the “boys don’t cry” narrative.
Back to Ben’s character, I was a little bit disappointed with his character arc, or lack thereof, in the middle episodes. Sometimes it felt as if he was only there for comedic relief and was emotionally detached from Brooklynn’s death. Maybe there’s intent behind this but I’m not sure. 
I don’t know what to think about the whole girlfriend thing. Maybe Ben just made up the girlfriend thing to get Sammy to get rid of her phone lmao but ended up running with it. I do love how everyone’s surprised about Ben having a girlfriend because me too guys, me too. And it’s not because he eats out of a boot and pees in a jar (it is) but because I thought he was gay. Like with the whole rejecting Yaz scene in CC always gave me that implication. Now, he could still always be bi or pan which would be just as cool, but still just the fact that he has a random ass girlfriend. But also how is he maintaining a long-distance relationship when he’’s completely cut off from the grid. A part of me wants to believe that Ben has a girlfriend especially when he questions why everyone is surprised but also… idk. Ben does seem to understand how Yaz is feeling with relationship stuff to a degree. But I don’t know. I like some of the theories I’ve seen: that Ben is being catfished by Brooklynn, in particular. In theory I giggle a bit but in practice that’d low-key be a fucked up thing to do to Ben’s emotions. I find it harder to believe that Ben is doing the girlfriend to cover up that he’s gay because he knows that his friends will be accepting (although doesn’t change that coming out to them could still be hard) but also because I feel like he would at least tell Yaz because in S5 of CC they had that deep talk about Yaz’s sexuality. A part of me believes that the cargo ship is going somewhere to Europe and when they get there Ben will call on his girlfriend for help. If she is real, I hope she's badass and pretty so she can contribute to the plot and I can fall in love with her. Wait, what? Maybe down the line when I have more theories about Ben and his supposed girlfriend I’ll make a separate post. 
“Don’t you dare throw my phone out the window, Benjamin.” Sammy’s so much of a powerful force now. I love her fierceness and sassiness, it’s definitely a different look from her character in CC. But also, she’s still in character, just matured, changed, and acquired that “tough love” attitude. Paired with how a little later in the episode when she goes to save the dinosaurs, it shows how Sammy (and the rest of the characters) might have changed since CC but are still the same at their core. Very much getting flashbacks to the Art of Chill episode. Sammy still has the passionate sense of righteousness but with more attitude and I’m 100% here for it.
I also want to talk about the whole Sammy as a suspect thing. I love Ben and I’m glad they made up at the end but also can you imagine how hurtful it must be for Sammy? Like it sucks for her that a decision she made years ago (and was cleared up) in order to protect her family comes back to bite her, from one of her closest friends too. For one of her besties to not trust her must hurt a lot, especially after everything they’ve gone through together. Trust in general is an interesting motif in this show. We have Darius having to learn to trust Ben and his theories, the whole Darius and Kenji trust conflict thing, Ben being untrusting of Sammy at first, and Yaz and Sammy having to learn to trust each other again. 
Back to Sammy’s character, I want to take a moment to talk about Sammy’s mental health; like she’s really not doing well and I’m genuinely worried about her. From CC we know her to be a very social person who’s rarely ever alone and we even have the episode in S5 of CC where her entire arc is learning to do stuff on her own. So in CT, seeing Sammy living all alone in Texas with nobody (nice) around is so jarring and worrying to me. That scene where she reunites with the boys is really sweet, especially knowing that it’s probably one of the first few moments where she’s not isolated from any of the people she loves. It’s also probably another reason why she’s even more “Sammy” than usual. Then you have Sammy saying, “Just busy. It’s only me around here with Yaz up north finishing school, and my parents…we just don’t talk much anymore, but that’s okay! I’m keeping busy.” We can definitely notice that Sammy is not handling this isolation thing well and her coping mechanism is very much busying herself. What I really want to know though is why Sammy isn’t talking with her family.
But back to the main point, it’s also the way that Sammy’s character naturally influences the plot and pacing of episode three. Ben and Darius have something urgent they need to tell Sammy but her inability to stay still is preventing them from doing so which creates a natural conflict.
Additionally, in retrospect Sammy's coping mechanism was obvious: the mock interviews we got where it’s said, “Back at home, Sammy Gutierrez maintained that positive attitude by staying busy. ‘I have my own ranch, now. And my girlfriend Yaz. And tons of pies to bake! We don’t have time to keep worrying about all that running for our lives stuff!’” Even before this, she’s fallen into that heavy positivity that’s borderline unhealthy by trying to shove everything under the rug. All of the positive sayings on her wall also feel symbolic of her trying to maintain a positive outlook on her life. Her line “I’m so sick of making pies,” while possibly just for humor and a throwaway line, it could represent how this false positive narrative that Sammy has going where she’s keeping busy around the house and baking pies isn’t satisfactory and is also crumbling. Maybe even the first pie burning could be symbolic of her positive life failing (or maybe I’m looking too deep into it). Also that scene where she straight up hallucinates and sees Brooklynn for a second? That scene is so haunting and utterly heartbreaking. This is sort of the nail in the coffin that Sammy is not doing well mentally at all. In this scene too, her sadness is also heavily emphasized. Her eyes watering is such a sad detail and also you can kind of notice that her under-eye area is dark and red too. This might just be the lighting, but I feel that it really emphasizes that Sammy is really struggling and all of this business and fake positivity is getting to her. And then immediately after, she deflects and continues what she’s doing. Darius begging Sammy to stop and Sammy’s response being, “Stop and think about Brooklynn dying, or my family not speaking to me, or Yaz pulling away from me? No… I can’t stop. I won’t.” There is a lot to unpack there. First, we have another mention that Sammy and her family aren’t talking and I want to know why. Secondly, she is definitely struggling with growing isolated from the people she loves and with Sammy’s character valuing her connections with her loved-ones it makes it all the more impactful. I wish we got to see more on this but then we get interrupted by the action just as Darius is about to say something. It's a really sad scene though. In ep.4 we see Sammy being more anxious, especially with Yaz not answering her calls. In that one scene after the parasaurolophuses, Sammy is completely distraught and it’s sad to see. I don’t even think she herself even fully realizes her mental health issues. The anxiety Sammy is experiencing is also highlighted in ep.7. Granted, they are in a sinking, soggy van and I’d be panicking too but damn. She’s also panicking in the beginning of ep.9, but now, instead of Sammy keeping her body busy from her mind, her mind is keeping her busy from her body and making her forget how to breathe.
“I know she doesn’t always answer, but at least she texts back or maybe just gives a thumbs up, even though she knows I hate those. Cause they give me passive-aggressive vibes, but I know she doesn’t mean it that way. But I got that girlfriend intuition that something ain’t right.” Poor Sammy, she is very clearly anxious about this whole thing and it especially shows with how she bounces her phone around. I like how this conflict between Yaz and Sammy is building up before they even see each other, starting with Yaz not answering the phone call and Sammy getting anxious. The split up thing also gave me a mini heart attack too Ben, don’t worry. “Why, did she say something?” Sammy, please. You’re not okay. In ep.6 with the “I’m working really hard to get my anxiety in check, but Sammy still treats me like a fragile flower,” again, I appreciate how we see the cracks in Yaz and Sammy’s relationship beginning to form even before the events of CT. The buildup is really strong in the show. Quick break but I have to say I just love Sammy’s profile picture they are so cute. Also, Yaz’s uncertainty about answering the phone call, too. The tension between them is clear as day on that phone call. And then we have Sammy coddling Yasmina by trying to hide the truth from her and it’s all in good intention, really sweet how Sammy wants to protect her, but is that what Yaz needs or wants? “Her PTSD is still affecting her that badly?" “Well, to tell you the truth, we really haven’t talked much lately. She’s so busy and when we do catch each other, she acts like everything’s good, but…” The conflict is so interesting because you have Yaz pulling away because of Sammy’s overbearingness and then when Yaz pulls away, Sammy gets anxious and therefore more overbearing so it just creates this cycle that could be put to a stop by communication but they’re both scared. Both of their coping mechanisms are doing damage to each other and so they fall back on these coping mechanisms even more. “Call it a hunch, or girlfriend’s intuition,” call it anxiety, Sammy. At this point everything she says or does is a subconscious cry for help. Back to the relationship conflict, it’s nice knowing that even if they are fighting, their fight is based off of wanting the best for the other and love. Also both of their feelings in this fight are valid, Yaz wanting Sammy to not treat her like she’s fragile and Sammy not wanting Yaz to pull away from her. Again with the cycle. Oof, the pain in her voice when Yaz says “you still treat me like a child instead of your girlfriend!” Kausar really ate with that. Anyways, we have that scene where they almost down and Yaz calms Sammy proving to her that she’s not as fragile as Sammy thinks she is. Then when they get out we have a resolution moment where Yaz says, “I guess we need each other, huh?” Showing that, instead of that unbalance of overbearingness, they can equally need the other to ground them and keep them calm. 
When Sammy and Yaz reunite, they’re really happy but also out of sync a bit, when they go in to kiss but end up bumping heads. Then after they resurface after nearly drowning, they’ve reached a better understanding of each other, and then they kiss a lot more smoothly, showing that they’re back in sync.
For the Benrius shippers out there, this also parallels how Darius and Ben were a bit out of sync and a little rocky, but at the beginning of ep.3 we see Ben and Darius have fallen back into their natural rhythm: Ben says “chip me” and Darius effortlessly tosses it and Ben catches it in his mouth. I just appreciate these little details and moments of closeness and also the parallels.
Can we talk about how we have alternating arcs/paths with Sammy and Yaz? Like, we see Yaz becoming more confident in how she handles and reacts to her trauma and making significant progress with her PTSD. Then we have Sammy who’s slowly slipping into a poorer mental state when she was known for being better able to manage her trauma from Nublar. Then along with this, we have Yaz stepping into the more “caretaker” role when Sammy was the one who usually has control over the situation. The van sinking scene in ep.7 is a perfect example. Sammy's panicking when her seatbelt gets stuck and Yaz is the one to ground her. I just want to take a closer look at this scene because it’s so sweet, too. The way Yaz first takes Sammy’s hands but then after realizing how much Sammy’s panicking, she cups her face and gets her to focus. It’s just such a tender moment. (And then parallel with that, the scene where Kenji has a panic attack and Darius is the one to support him in the midst of their argument. I just love a good parallel.) (Another parallel, Darius grounding Ben when he was paranoid in ep.2) But there’s also that scene early in ep.9 where it’s Sammy who’s completely freaking out and Yaz being the level-headed one. 
Going back to the conflict between them, we see a moment of growth in that scene. After Sammy’s anxiousness causes her to be reckless, she apologizes which opens the floor for a well needed discussion about how they need to work as a team and trust one another. While the main discussion about how their coping mechanism end up hurting each other hasn’t happened yet, we still get to see them repairing the cracks in their relationship. Instead of Yaz pulling away when Sammy becomes anxious and overbearing, we see her acknowledge Sammy’s anxiety and comfort her instead, so that Sammy doesn’t go farther into that anxious state and the cycle is interrupted. It’s cool how they made their mental health issues cause problems in their relationship. Not in a “oh I can’t handle my girlfriend’s PTSD and she’s too much for me,” but in the way of “My girlfriend really cares for me in relation to my PTSD and it’s sweet but it also feels like she’s babying me” and “my girlfriend is going through a really tough time right now and I want to be there for her but she keeps pulling away from me.” Although, in a way, Sammy’s anxiety does become overbearing for Yaz, but even then it’s not in a she’s being too much but rather her anxiety is only causing her to be treated in a way she doesn't want to be treated. While scary and uncomfortable, I’m really glad that Yaz and Sammy had that conflict because it shows that couples can argue and still love each other. Just because there’s a problem in the relationship doesn’t mean the relationship has to end there, it just means that you have to come together and acknowledge the issue and then work together to fix it. 
Darius’s reaction to Brooklynn’s death, my god. And hearing Darius’ voice calls that he left Brooklynn…devastating. Him hiding in the bath tub after giving the phone and sinking down in it; he really is ashamed of his feelings and it’s sad. But also the tenderness in Kenji’s voice when he confronts him? He’s no longer angry with Darius, just wants to understand. And the way that he doesn’t even get mad when Darius tells him he was in love with B… (maybe he understands how B is a very lovable character.)
But back to the grief, the moment where they’re all looking at the allosaurus that supposedly killed Brooklynn is devastating. They are finally united in their grief over Brooklynn. Boy, at least one of them is going to be pissed when her survival is revealed. And then also how they all worry over Bumpy too, it just really symbolizes how they’re still a family after everything. I love how Ben and Sammy are basically co-parents now. And remember that episode where Sammy was trying to get Bumpy to like her? Oh how far we’ve come. I flat out believed that she was dead, the writers definitely got me with that one. Well played, Bumpy. Well played.
I will say that Darius’s confrontation with Cabrera didn’t feel fully earned. We only saw him in one other scene and only heard about him in another scene so Darius’ moment of realization fell a little short on me. I think it could have been better had we saw an earlier interaction with him and Darius that may give us more conflicting opinions on whether or not he’s good. Because when we first saw him with Sammy, Yaz, and Ben, I was 90% sure that he was bad because of the three’s unbiased narrative. But had we gotten an interaction with Darius where he seemed a lot less questionable as a character it would have brought my doubt to more of a 50%. It also would have made Darius’ almost betrayal feeling in ep.10 more warranted because we saw them personally interact so it’d make Darius’s “You’re the one behind this? You’re selling Dinosaurs? DPW is supposed to protect people from dinosaurs.” hit harder. 
The micro bang lady reads the raptor’s body language so well. She’s also compassionate towards them which is a heavy difference from this other dinosaur corruption we’ve got going on where they are carelessly abusing dinosaurs. She sees the raptors absolutely wiped out and retreats which is an absolute power move and shows she cares. It’s a choice that humanizes her along with the cuddling of a fucking raptor, which is interesting since most of what we’ve seen so far has been very uncanny with her robotic movements and unblinking eyes. She scares the shit out of me but lowkey...
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she looks really badass and hot in this scene. I see what some of yall are talking about.
The action sequence in ep.10? Amazing. 10/10. The parallel with Jurassic World? Heart stopping. The dead silence except for the footsteps and dinosaur breathing? Immaculate. Best scene in the entire show, maybe in animated history. 
At the end, we also have a shift from the characters being forced to react to all of the stuff thrown at them, like a defensive, but then we see them make the decision to go on the cargo ship and now they get to take a more “offensive” approach. Then we also have Darius stepping back into that leader role. 
I just hope that since the characters are no longer stranded on a deserted island that they can finally get a change of outfits if they happen to get dirty. Please don’t let them walk around in the same dirty clothes again, please. 
Now, probably one of the more controversial parts. Dinostar… Now, I’m a multi shipper and I’ve never had a problem with the ship itself but even then I was skeptical of this creative choice. 
I feel like it’d be more impactful if they kept dinosaur platonic showing that Darius doesn’t need to be in a romantic relationship with his friend in order to feel a significant amount of grief for her. Now, I know that even if Darius wasn’t in love with Brooklynn, he probably still would have had the same reaction but still, the interpretation of his feelings has still changed. How necessary was this?
But also the power in the unrequited dinostar. Having Darius only realize his feelings for Brooklynn, especially after her staying at his place, it's natural. It adds to the very real complexity of human feelings. “I never meant for it to happen. It just…happened.” Darius’s feelings are still natural and organic and he’s still kind of ashamed of them. Darius’s “I didn’t even think I could feel that way,” was what really got to me. If it was because he always saw Brooklynn as a friend it shows how these sort of feelings can sneak up on you, but I also see it as, “I didn’t think I was able to have crushes on people” which speaks to me a lot. It feels very aligned with the demi-aroace experience and as someone who’s demi-aroace I care about this a lot. It’s such a confusing and difficult experience, worrying about if you’re even capable of falling in love with someone, trying to disect the difference between platonic connections and romantic ones, and the shame you feel when you think you might be interested in someone who’s supposed to be your friend. It’s messy and real and seeing Darius possibly experiencing that makes me feel less alone. Anyways, I like how even in both directions Darius can still be on the aroace spectrum.
“If I was really in love with Brooklynn, I should have been there.” This line makes me wonder if he’s still doubting his feelings for Brooklynn. The “I couldn’t face her after that. I was too embarrassed. So I didn’t show up that night.” Darius being embarrassed is so real. I once confessed to a girl I thought I liked and was rejected, albeit gently for the most part, and I still can’t look at her the same way. This was with someone I wasn’t close with so I can only imagine what it was like for Darius, the embarrassment. It’s such an impactful thing too. Darius's natural and realistic reaction to getting rejected and not being able to face her having drastic consequences in this new world of dinosaurs and being hunted by them. It’s just the complexity of the story that’s what really makes this work.
“She tried to be nice about it, but it was clear she didn’t feel the same.” I wonder if this is what really happened or just what Darius interpreted it as. I’m hoping that it remains unrequited. Seeing the guy not get the girl would be something new and interesting. I could also get behind dinostar but only if it’s done right and to be done right it’d need a lot of time. But I also don’t think I want to see any of them in a relationship just yet. Especially Brooklynn and especially now. I think that she’s way too deep into this conspiracy and should focus on that instead of a relationship. That’s definitely where her mind has been at lately, anyways. I also worry that this might turn into a love triangle which I’m never a big fan of. I’ve also seen some people say that this love triangle/Darius’ feelings will probably weaken the integrity of Brooklynn’s character and reduce her to a love interest, and, for a while, I agreed. But now my opinion has shifted. So far from what we’ve seen, Brooklynn’s character seems to be going on an interesting arc and I have faith that the writers won’t weaken that in favor of focusing on her romantic interests. The writing for this season has been amazing and if they keep it up in season two it can probably be successfully pulled off. And already with the way it’s been written, I don’t think Brooklynn is ready for a relationship at the moment. 
Now Brooklynn...
I was one of the people who was convinced Brooklynn was alive but while watching the show I actually began to doubt that theory and there was a moment where I was sure she was actually dead. I know there are a couple of people unhappy about the fact that Brooklynn isn’t actually dead, and I get that. Especially coupled with the Darius vs Kenji conflict it may feel like CT is copying too much from CC with Ben’s fake death instead of being original and committing to it. And that’s totally valid, especially for a serious plot line like a character death. I do, however, have faith that the writers of CT will execute her fake death well though. Because that’s the thing with CC/CT. Most of the time, even the not so strong ideas are well executed and integrated into the plot smoothly. With Ben’s fake death, it gave the opportunity to strongly develop Ben’s character more than it could if he had ended up on the island with the campers. His solo experience after his “death” molded him into a very different character from the boy we saw in the early episodes. It changed him drastically and that was the redeeming factor. So, I have hope with Brooklynn. It already seems like she’s on a strong path of character development and it seems like she’s going completely undercover to unbox this international dinosaur corruption scheme. Not to mention, she’s missing part of her arm, so that’s also a drastic change. Brooklynn being alive opens up a lot of opportunities, especially to delve into her trauma that she might have acquired from losing a hand. Not only that, but the others still think she’s dead so we won’t lose that mourning aspect, in fact it might make it even more impactful knowing that she is alive and that Brooklynn’s fake death is causing this much pain to her friends.
This could also introduce some conflict within the group once it is revealed to them that Brooklynn is alive because they spent all of this time mourning her and suffering from some severe mental health issues only for her to actually be alive without telling them. Me personally, I’d be upset going through all of this emotional turmoil for a dead friend only for her to pop up knowing she could have prevented all of it. We can also see different reactions from the 5 of them. Maybe someone will be angry at her and some might just be really happy she’s alive and some might not even believe she’s actually alive. I’m just gonna say that it is fucked up that Brooklynn is just allowing her friends to suffer from mourning her and that I’d totally understand if any of the camp fam were mad at her. In fact I need to see that. Then there’s all of the secrets she’s keeping from them, too. I wonder if we might see a sort of negative character arc because Brooklynn has been neglectful towards her friends, especially Kenji which caused the whole breakup in the first place, and then multiple times Brooklynn’s true intentions have been unclear and shady. I wonder if there’s any symbolism we can pick up from her hair which is always changing.
Overall, I’m excited to see what they do with Brooklynn’s character and how her fake death affects the others. I’m always willing to compromise with my feelings and the decisions made so long as they well execute their unfavorable choices. 
As for the reveal, I feel like it could have been dragged out a little bit longer. I think a perfect place to stop would be right at Ronnie receives the text. Because in my mind at that moment, there were two ideas that I had. One, Ronnie could have been one of the corrupt DPW workers, or she could have been working with Brooklynn. I think that that confliction would have been a great place to end especially because either way, it leaves you question that entire interaction she has with Darius in the first episode. Is Ronnie going to be bad and betray Darius? Or is she good and helping Brooklynn who's alive. I understand in the grander schemes of things why they did it; showing Brooklynn alive (and handless) at the very end will make viewers want to come back and see what happened with her. I just hope they keep her being alive unknown to the rest of the campers for a while longer for that added tension or whatever. I feel like if anything they might reveal her to the camp fam at the end of season 2.
Now let’s talk about that hairstyle. When I first saw it at a distance paired with the whole ensemble, it looked really badass. But up close? I don’t like it. 
At first I was going to say that Sammy carried the plot, because she did. Then I was like, “well, Ben also carried the plot too.” Then it was “If Sammy carried the plot then so did Yasmina.” That “boo” did a lot for me. But then I was thinking of the discourse between Darius and Kenji and they also both carried the plot. So, long story short, they all carried which is amazing. It means that it was well balanced and every character had a significant role in the story. 
In short, there’s a lot of things that were phenomenal in this show, however, there were a few things that can only become/remain great if they’re addressed in season 2. There were a lot of throwaway lines in the show that was loaded with context we didn’t have and hinted to a separate conflict. 
Twice we hear Sammy say how she’s not in contact with her family and then it’s never brought up again. I want to know why this is, even If it doesn’t have a drastic effect on the overall plot. Then we see Sammy hallucinate Brooklynn but then that’s the only time it happens. Is it bad that I want to see more of that? I just really want to see Sammy’s trauma unloaded in season 2. In ep.6, Sammy says “Remember how [Yaz] got when the dinosaurs made it to the mainland?” It seems really heavy and I want to see this. I want to know what the groups initial reactions to one, the dinosaurs back on the mainland, and two, Brooklynn’s death. We also hear Darius sort of allude in ep.1 that Ben might have had a harder time adjusting to being back on the mainland, especially with the “don’t patronize me, Darius!”
I’m hoping that some of these lines are just seeds being planted early on so that we can see them grow in season 2. One thing I hope we get is more flashbacks, seeing what all of these lines are referring to. Sammy’s family issues. Yaz’s reaction the dinosaurs back on mainland. Also, seeing flashbacks to Brooklynn with Darius in the cabin. We got flashbacks for everyone else except him so it’d be nice to see, and also give us something more substantial for Darius’s feelings. My guess is that there won’t be as many action scenes when they’re hiding away on the ship so we can get more flashbacks and have some more downtime to explore the groups trauma, regain some more of that “full” group dynamic, and just in general put more focus into the characters rather than plot. 
The writing in this was amazing, especially for a kids show, and I hope we get to see more of this amazing writing carried on to season 2 soon. If you stuck with me this long, I appreciate you.
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Losing someone can be so beyond words. Here is some advice for losing a FP but it can probably be applied to losing someone in general!
Some things I like to remind myself are:
The feelings are temporary. They will pass. No matter how crushing they may be, you won't feel like this forever. Sometimes it can help to remember that what we're feeling is temporary because when we forget that and think it's how we're going to feel forever, it can make us feel so hopeless. So here's your reminder. This isn't forever.
You survived without them before, and you can do it again. I promise. It doesn't mean it'll be easy but it can help to have the reminder that we existed before then, and survived before them and we can do both of those things again.
Be kind to yourself. You are valid and you are allowed your emotions.
Healing is not linear. Grief isn't linear. And for a lot of us, when we lose our FP, it is something we need to heal from. It is something we grieve about. And it's okay if we feel ourselves doing better for a bit and then falling back. It doesn't mean you've failed or anything like that.
Some things I do:
Note that these are all personal things I do and aren't rules for how you should cope. I'm sure your own list will differ! But maybe my list will inspire you to think of ideas for your own list!
Focus on myself. Even when it's uncomfortable and I don't want to, I focus on my hobbies. I focus on finding new hobbies. Sometimes I make a list of different hobbies I've never tried, and then I go through it and try them at least once to see if I enjoy something. If not, it gets scratched off. These could be new shows, books, activities, etc.
Feel the emotions. Usually not all at once because it's too much, but my instinct is to bury the emotions. To turn my emotions off entirely ((I'm sure others relate to the turning them off thing. It's like a switch I can use). And it's uncomfortable, but sometimes I force myself to feel them. In bits as I can handle it. Allow yourself time to grieve.
Focus on my DBT skills like Urge Surfing for any urges that arise or Radical Acceptance for accepting my feelings.
Come up with a Crisis Plan in case I start to spiral. Here’s my walk through on that.
I diversified my relationships. I think this is an important thing to do. Even if you have a FP currently. Diversifying your relationships to have other people in your support system can be really good.
This is a personal choice, but I cut off all ties. I used to keep screenshots of messages they wrote assuring me they cared and stuff like that. I deleted all screenshots. I also made sure I couldn't look at their profiles and check on them. I made sure their numbers were deleted and anything else.
I like to do nice things for someone else. It's hard sometimes to get there, but there's a feeling I get when I make someone smile or help someone out that makes me feel a bit lighter. It reminds me that I am valuable as I am. This is actually a part of the ACCEPTS skill if you're interested in reading more about that.
Work on forgiving myself. Maybe you don't feel you need this, and that's valid. But I did. I had to learn to forgive myself for not knowing better, for making mistakes, and I always remind myself that I am human. In connection with this, I work on letting go of any regrets I have. It's easier said than done, I know. It's important for me to remember that I can't change the past, so dwelling on any regrets doesn't help me. What I can do is learn from them and do better.
I know it's hard. But it really does get better. I have lost FP's and thought the entire world was ending and that I would never recover. I still think about them sometimes, but it's such a dull ache that I barely notice it. It might always hurt a little, but it will be manageable.
Here are some other coping ideas.
You can do this.
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chaoticgoodthief · 2 days
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STP Voices Personality Swap
Inspired completely by @remaking-machine's awesome AU! I decided to put my own twist on the idea and see how it turns out! (ramble under the cut so that my mutuals don't have to watch me go insane, as per usual)
Self-imposed rules:
Personalities swaps must be based off of this line (or at least my interpretation of it) to force me to think more about how that would even work:
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Princesses must be kept as close to canon as possible. I would give a good reason but honestly, it's just more fun that way
Ok, without further ado, let's get started!
Hunted (swapped with Opportunist): Will be on whatever side keeps him alive. Will be completely on board with defeating the Beast since he knows he will die if he doesn't fight her. However, he drops all pretences the moment they aren't in danger of dying. All the other voices actually like him up until he drops the helpful act, which at that point they all immediately hate him for deceiving them. For the most part, acts similar to his canon counterpart but a lot shadier in a way that nobody else seems to notice.
Opportunist (swapped with Hunted): Treats the Witch like an ambush predator and thus always is correct about her next move. False bravado comes off like a prey animal puffing itself up to be more intimidating. Genuinely looking out for your survival, but generally disliked by the other voices for his flighty nature. Does not trust Thorn, but empathetic towards her pain. Generally acts very different from his canon counterpart, but his facade is a nearly eerie replica.
Skeptic (Swapped with Smitten): An seriously unhealthy amount of trust in the Prisoner and only the Prisoner. If she told you to stab yourself he would agree with her because he's that sure that she has a plan. Completely distraught in the Drowned Grey route because he knew she had a plan and it's all your fault for not believing in her like he did. It's actually creepy how easily Skeptic falls down the exact same path as canon Smitten after a personality swap. I love it.
Smitten (Swapped with Skeptic): Serious trust issues after being stabbed to death by the princess and locked away by the Narrator. Rather than you being the one to ask questions in the start of Chapter II, he will ask them before you get the chance. Since he will force you to grab the knife, there is a much higher chance of getting the Burned Grey route. Can be calmed down if you manage to get him to put his trust in the Damsel, but manoeuvring away from Deconstructed Damsel is also a lot harder due to his insistence to get answers. Somehow even more sceptical than canon Skeptic.
Stubborn (Swapped with Broken): Most downtrodden of the lot because of just how exhausted he is from the seemingly endless fighting. Even getting with him to the cabin is a pain due to his refusal to Do This. All the other voices think he's annoying and whiny, with only Contrarian vaguely getting along with him. Interrupts the Narrator's "You're here to -", with "Die. And die. And die again. And if we're lucky... die quickly." He's just as bad as canon Broken and it's so funny yet so sad at the same time.
Broken (Swapped with Stubborn): He's not physically strong in the slightest and failed to kill the princess once already, but this time he's going to win. Comes off as a yappy chihuahua trying to fight a lion. Again. However, he's actually on friendly terms with a good few of the other voices due to this. The Tower is vaguely amused by him up until the moment that he actually wins. And then? Then's she's pissed. Would be great friends with canon Stubborn, but only after proving himself in a fight.
Paranoid (Swapped with Cold): Turned off his emotions to focus on getting everyone out alive (think MoC Cold). Clipped, clinical tone for everything, including the Survival Mantra. Thinks the others don't appreciate him enough for the sacrifices he made in order to keep their body working. He is right. Completely numb to death in the MoC route to the point he doesn't even bother to use the Survival Mantra anymore, not that it matters at that point anyway. Very similar to canon Cold, but more apathetic than bored.
Cold (Swapped with Paranoid): Extremely superstitious, believing the princess to have cursed him with her death, which is only amplified when she returns as a ghost. Urges you not to touch the mirror because you might break it, begins talking about finding an exorcist if you let the Spectre possess you, refers to the Narrator as a malevolent spirit (I mean.... he isn't wrong), the whole shebang. I'm not going to lie, this one is honestly one of the funniest to me. Do not put in the same room as canon Paranoid. It will not end well for either of them.
Cheated (Swapped with Contrarian): Over the course of interacting with the Razor, he quickly starts just messing around after realising nothing he does matters. He treats the situation less and less seriously, to the point that he's making actively dumb decisions just to see how everyone reacts. Throw the blade of the window? Sure, why not? She'd kill us even if we had it! Throw her out of the window she's she's a bunch of blades now? Sure! Why not? She'll just come back, right?
Contrarian (Swapped with Cheated): Tried to get out and now look what's happened. Actively bitter about being trapped into a set path and determined to make it as much of a hell for everyone else as it is for him because of it. Curses like a sailor and is generally just So Done With This. He's not trapped with you. You're trapped with him and he will make everyone knows that. Will still try to make it up to the Stranger, the Hero and the player for his actions later on but does not hesitate to berate you for leaving him behind in the Stranger's cabin. Honestly, he's probably the closest to canon. Spicy Contrarian, if you will (get your mind out of the gutter not like that)
Hero remains the same, but his opinions about all the others are... very different, to say the least.
Phew, that was a lot of fun! Maybe I'll come back with a part two for SwapAU meets canon!
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pommpuriinn · 3 days
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݂ ໋ ・ ゜* 𓈒 BREAKING POINT
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˖ ݁𖥔 ݁˖ synopsis ˖ ݁𖥔 ݁˖ - with the recent controversy with Hybe and its sub label some hurtful comments were said about Joohyung that caused her to hit her breaking point
˖ ݁𖥔 ݁˖ A/N ˖ ݁𖥔 ݁˖ - this is very angsty and sad it almost made me cry at times, sorry that it takes me so long to write for Joohyung :(
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Coming back into reality after performing your heart out was always the hardest thing. Especially with Sihyuk and another heejin are saying about groups inside and out of the company. Joohyung was beyond pissed, like no one has ever seen Joohyung this mad before nor even during the trainee days. Currently text messages from Sihyuk and Heejin was released and they didn’t say much about txt, but only saying that Sihyuk already wanted to debut another group even though txt was only a month old. Confirming that he really didn’t even care about them from the beginning which already isn’t a good start and Joohyung was seeing red. The thing that threw Joohyung completely off was the conversation of Heejin wishing she could’ve had Joohyung before they made the final line of txt, but also wishes she was a few years younger than she would have done anything to get her even if she was already set to debut with txt. The cherry on top was Sihyuk offered the idea of Joohyung switching from txt to ador’s future group, basically throwing Joohyung around like a toy anyone could play with. Heejin even talked about Joohyung and Beomgyu’s relationship and how she’s thankful she didn’t take Joohyung because “she ruined the illusion for her male fans and would’ve been a burden to control”.
Sihyuk was willing to overwork Joohyung even more and not consider the group’s feeling nor Joohyung’s, and he was just going to do it without even asking Joohyung. Plus Heejin calling Joohyung “too old” even though she was just 21 when she debuted. Then saying Joohyung ruined a “fantasy” that she never entertained for her male audience.
Everyone felt the tension as they all walked through the Incheon airport coming back from Belgium. Joohyung was walking ahead not holding on to any of her members nor walking next to them, and she didn’t want to entertain anyone nor did she accept the fan letters. Luckily, Soobin took the letters for Joohyung. The car ride was even worst, none of the members said a word as they themselves were also going through the emotions. “Can you stop by my apartment, please.” The driver nodded towards Joohyung. Yeonjun risen his eyebrow kinda confused on what Joohyung needed since they had to go straight to the company building to practice for the upcoming tour. He was getting a bad feeling.
The car came to a stop behind the apartment complex building. Joohyung got her things stepping out of the car, “what are you forgetting?” Yeonjun’s question stopped Joohyung from walking further. “Nothing. I’m not going.” Joohyung didn’t face them. “But it’s the concert-“
“I don’t care!” She snapped at Yeonjun. The members winced at the harshness of her words. “I don’t fucking care anymore! We work too damn hard for his ass to not care about us!” They have never and I mean never seen Joohyung this distressed. “Look, Joohyung-ah I’m sure it was just the heat of moment type of thing he cares about the group.” Their staff member tries to reason with her. “If he did care he wouldn’t have already had thoughts of wanting to debut another group when we barely got out of the hell hole you guys called training.” Joohyung got close to the staff’s face. Immediately Taehyun rushed out of the car and got between them. “Noona.” Taehyun shaken voice called for her. “They called me a burden and someone who ruins fantasies…and a toy they can throw around.” Joohyung broke down in tears into Taehyun’s chest.
At this point all the members had tears in their eyes. Hearing the reality that has happened from their distressed member. “They wanted to take me away from my members.” Joohyung sobbed. One by one got out of the car squeezed Joohyung into a hug. “We wouldn’t allow it Joohyung.” Yeonjun sniffled. “You’re not burden, you’re far from that.” Soobin caressed her head. “Don’t listen to them mine Jooie. You don’t ruin anything they’re just bastards who know nothing.” Beomgyu gave her multiple kisses on her cheek trying to comfort her. Kai was scared if he talked that he will break down as well, so he opted to just hold her tight wanting to squeeze the anger and sadness away.
The staff member quickly texted Eunha to come right away and at least stay with Joohyung at her place. Eunha raced over and not even 10 minutes later she was there. “Oh Joohyung.” She instantly pulled a tear stained Joohyung into her arms. As she was hugging Joohyung, Eunha also squeezed Taehyun’s shoulder for reassurance. “I think it’s best for you guys to continue on with the concert practice session without Joohyung. I also made sure for them to cut it short for today since it’s been…a hell of a day.” The members nodded, they didn’t want to leave Joohyung but they knew they had their duties to attend to. “Don’t worry, I’ll take extra care of her.”
The boys felt like lost puppies without Joohyung. “She has never miss a single schedule for 5 years.” Kai was empty on the inside. “I know Huening, but we have to practice even harder for noona.” Soobin tried his best to somehow lighten the mood, but it wasn’t working. “I…I have never seen Joohyung this…broken before.” Yeonjun signed, replaying the whole scene again and again.
-
All of their staff members go the text of Joohyung not attending the practice for today and…further notice. The staff members had to work fast on the possibility of Joohyung not participating in future schedules for her mental health maybe even the whole tour. The staff felt the sad emotions that oozed out of the boys when they walked into the practice room.
“Ok, let’s try this new formation.” Their choreographer suggested, the boys moved into their new places. Taehyun felt like something wasn’t right with the formation, he looked around the members and realized; ‘where is Joohyung going to stand?’
“Um…where is noona’s position?” Taehyun asked. The room went silent and the staff members looked at each other basically asking who’s going to break the news to the group? The boys started to feeling the energy of the room and immediately started having panicking thoughts. Finally one of their protocol team members spoke up, “ah…guys, due to the recent events with Joohyung we don’t think she will be mentally ready to continue with the tour. So it’s better if we prepare and plan ahead with new formations, and-”
“No! We can’t go on tour without Joohyung! Are you guys crazy?” Beomgyu lashed out. “Moa wouldn’t accept this!” Yeonjun felt betrayed. “Let’s, let’s call it a day everyone.” The boys were in denial about the thought of Joohyung going on hiatus, but at the same time they couldn’t blame her with everything she just went through.
-
Eunha kept Joohyung company for a couple of days helping Joohyung cope with everything. Joohyung has stopped crying after the third day, but she was still in her head about the events that happened prior. Joohyung ate little by little, stayed in her room in the dark, and kept on hugging her cats for comfort. Everyone thought keeping Joohyung and the boys separated for a bit was for the best for Joohyung, because whenever Eunha tried talking about the members Joohyung would start full on crying. Eunha still kept the boys updated about Joohyung, and they also agreed that it would be the best for Joohyung. She will come see them when she’s ready, and even though they didn’t see each other in person the boys would always send her cute encouraging messages.
Joohyung did have intrusive thoughts about leaving the company along with the group because she started believing she was a burden to the group. Luckily Eunha would talk her out of it immediately saying ‘tomorrow x together wouldn’t be the same without Joohyung’. Even though Joohyung was slowly getting better she unfortunately develop having panic attacks with the thought of facing everyone again. To help with calming her down Eunah would let Joohyung hug her while she caresses Joohyung’s head, another method was having Poki or Bibi(her cats) on her lap while she pets them.
-
The members really started worrying because the tour starts in a week and Joohyung hasn’t fully felt comfortable to continue her schedules. You could tell the boys weren’t themselves throughout this whole practicing period, and the staff felt for them.
That was until hearing the door open while they were practicing ‘Deja Vu’ and seeing a pale looking woman with a hat covering half her face. “Hi.” Joohyung waved, looking up at her members. The room erupted in cheers from her members who dropped everything and ran to her with open arms. Feeling the warmth again made Joohyung immediately burst into tears. “I’m sorry.” She sobbed into their chest. “No J-Joohyung.” Yeonjun shook her his ‘no’ with tears falling down. “It’s not your fault Joohyung-ah.” Taehyun mumbled into her shoulder.
After pulling apart Joohyung gave each member a long hug. They all gave Joohyung a tight squeeze while expressing how much they missed her. Some staff members were crying at the scene in front of them, but what really broke them was Joohyung and Beomgyu reuniting. After Soobin finally let Joohyung go Beomgyu pulled her into tight hug while crying to her, “Jooie, I-I miss you so mu-much.” He hiccuped. “I didn’t protect you hard enough, I’m sorry.” Beomgyu sniffled, he felt ashamed of himself for not shielding Joohyung from all the negativity. “It’s not your fault Beomgyu.” Joohyung gently pulled away from the hug to wipe his tears. “I’m never letting any of those bastards hurt you ever again.” Beomgyu pouted, and pulled Joohyung back into the hug.
After the emotional reunion they all sat down in the middle of the practice room and Joohyung started catching them up. Throughout her time away Joohyung did end up going to the hospital for a check up physical and mentally. She was diagnosed with a panic disorder after the extreme anxiety and stress she went through during the time. Joohyung even expressed her the dark thoughts she was having with the members, but she lighten the mood with telling them she would always read their messages to get her through the day and those bad thoughts. Joohyung knows it’s too early to come back, but she can’t let them do this tour without her. Her members and moa really give her the strength to move forward.
-
Joohyung was thankfully for her ability to pick stuff up fast during the one week she had to perfect everything, of course she wasn’t too far behind because they have been preparing weeks before. It still wasn’t easy for Joohyung, as her body was getting used to her old routine again. She felt more tried than usual and she tried not to show it, but her members caught on quickly especially while they were practicing in the actual arena. “Don’t push yourself too much noona.” Kai rubbed Joohyung’s back. “Here drink some water.” Soobin opened a water bottle for her. Joohyung accepted the water bottle and took small sips before they continued their practice.
Another obstacle she faced was after they did their group introduction Joohyung felt her chest tighten, and started experiencing shortness of breath. She was getting a panic attack. Joohyung closed her eyes and tried controlling her breathing, but after it wasn’t working she winced and went behind Beomgyu and started hugging him. Beomgyu knew what was happening and gently pulled Joohyung forward to hug her while whispering ‘it’s going to ok’ and pecking her temple.
Throughout all of Joohyung’s new found struggles she was still able to pull through and make it to the first ever show of Act: Promise. Their whole team was extremely happy that the group was able to come out of such a dark time. Even though there is still some struggles the group is facing they are just happy that they have each other to lean on, and still put on an amazing show for their moa.
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motziedapul · 2 days
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I had a thought about Wish and why it didn't work that I don't know if others have mentioned.
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It was made clear to me after I saw this concept art for Star Boy what this film lacked. It lacked a throughline of DESIRE AND RELATIONSHIPS; not just romantic desire, though the scrapped possibility of "romance" is what made me think about it.
Also, just wanted to say how ironic it is that Star Boy is so reminiscent of Jack Frost from Rise Of The Guardians while Chris Pine, who voiced Jack Frost in ROTG, was the villain (and best part) of this disappointing film.
Despite being ABOUT people's desires and wishes, both Asha and her grandfather's desires are nebulous. "I want to inspire people", "I want more". More what? Inspire them how? Their motivations are pretty unclear, as are their desires. The King even points this out, and he's right to do so.
It wouldn't be so bad for Asha to want her grandfather's wish to be fulfilled if the film could make you feel emotionally invested in him and his motivations. Love for her grandfather and a grave injustice against him and others is a FANTASTIC motivation, which is undermined by the fact that everyone's pretty darn happy in Rosas, and there's no sign to indicate that there's something deeply wrong underneath the surface.
The problem with presenting a society that needs change in a film is that you need to show why it's not working, and yet by all accounts Rosas is a wonderful place to live. SHOW US, DON'T TELL US, WHY THIS IS A GRAVE INJUSTICE. You have to show who's being hurt by showing them being hurt.
It's unfortunate that a movie in the same month dealt with wishes on stars 10000 times better than Wish did, but Puss In Boots The Last Wish did pretty much everything better than Wish did. That being said, they had a blueprint for how to make Wish work, and they didn't even follow it:
Encanto.
I love Encanto. It's not Disney's strongest film, especially plotwise, but what it lacks in plot it makes up for in getting you emotionally invested. The music, the tragedy, the character relationships, they all work. And even Encanto didn't have a romance, but it had suffering, desire, and something was wrong that needed to be fixed, and most importantly, it convinced the audience of that.
In comparison, you have a king taking people's Wishes away because he saw the destructive potential of unfettered desire and greed, all in exchange for peace and happiness - and yet we do not see people suffering from this decision. We see Asha get angry about it before we ever see why she should be angry.
People have already mentioned that Wish lacks camp, so I'm not gonna go into that, but it lacks camp and any Disney animated film that lacks camp is one not worth watching.
In terms of relationships, the only one in the film that has any sort of chemistry or emotional complexity is that of Asha and Magnifico. They literally sing a love song to each other in the movie, which baffles me because it gives you the idea of a budding romance/non romantic but loving relationship between the protagonist and antagonist of this film, only to be followed by a heartwrenching betrayal that justifies Magnifico's descent into darkness. And that would have been a fantastic story (after removing the weird age gap, obviously, though Disney's no stranger to that).
There is no other relationship in Asha's life that seems to mean anything to her, not even her relationship with her grandfather, because the only interactions we see her have with him before deciding what's best for him is 1 single scene where she actively avoids spending time with him and her mother to sneak off.
In Coco, we understand how important Hector as a great grandfather is, because of this scene.
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In Encanto, we immediately see how and why Mirabelle loves her family and is proud of them, and yet also how she suffers from their exclusion and isolation of her.
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The character who is *described* as caring for others but never shown caring for anybody only ever has a moment with the villainous king, who himself only ever has chemistry with her and his wife.
What's infuriating is that there's a deleted scene that, if combined with another scene showing Asha's childhood and why her grandfather means so much to her, would've made her motivation clear.
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There's a deleted scene where her grandfather sings a beautiful song, and her and her mother sit there in emotional silence.
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Would've been nice to have it in the film.
The most interesting character in the film is King Magnifico, which is why they had to scrape all the nuance out of him in the second act. Asha is described as selfless but is deeply selfish and self-centred. Her desires are nebulous. Her motivations aren't convincing. The character they try to sell you is one we never see.
A romance may not have been entirely necessary, but Asha having a real relationship and therefore emotional stakes with someone absolutely would have. It would have clarified and justified her desires, her motivations.
What a waste.
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P.S. The Animation in Wish is gorgeous, lively, and well-done, but the rendering, lighting and watercolour effects were badly executed. Please make the proper distinction - the characters move beautifully.
P.P.S. Yeah the music's bad. Say what you want about Lin Manuel Miranda but he's at least talented enough and Broadway enough to know how music can synergize with story and character. None of my criticisms about him as a person extends to his musical ability - Moana is my favourite movie, and he did a fantastic job there and on Encanto.
Apologies for the long post, but after seeing so many rants about this film I realized there's still something to touch upon that people haven't fully addressed.
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38sr · 2 days
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How did you get where you are now? Job wise I mean? Were you a college student before doing this or did you go looking for jobs in the art industry straight away?
Oh, well it's been quite a journey for me in terms of how I got to where I am right now but here's the full timeline (?):
August 1996 - BIRTH
April 2007 - I watch Brave Story at Tribeca Film Festival, life is changed and I decide to purse animation
June 2014 - Graduate high school and accepted into Montserrat College of Art for Animation & Interactive Media
Summer of 2016 - Studied abroad in Japan attending Niigata School of Art & Design
Summer of 2017 - First animation job as an animation intern for Sesame Street (yes that Sesame Street)
December 2017 - Graduated from college (yes I graduated early due to having college credits in high school), did not have a job lined up
2018 to 2019 - Living back in NY with my parents, working on indie animation productions, creating emotes and animated intros for content creators, applying and getting rejected from many job listings, received and fail multiple storyboard tests, developing my own projects and story ideas after years of not being able to for school work
July 2019 - Fly to California for the first time, made the decision to move in order to further pursue a career in animation, at this time the Nickelodeon Artist Program were accepting submissions so I busted out boards for a personal project in 3 days and submitted it (please do not be like me, take your time haha)
September 2019 - I receive a call from Nickelodeon and I go through a series of interviews for 2 months straight
Thanksgiving 2019 - I receive news I was selected as a trainee for the Nickelodeon Artist Program
January 2020 - Move to California and begin work as a trainee at Nickelodeon (specifically for Rugrats reboot)
March 2020 - The pandemic
July 2020 - I leave Nickelodeon and move onto Titmouse as a storyboard revisionist for Star Trek Lower Decks
November 2020 - My Supervising Director for Lower Decks recommends me to the first Critical Role show Legend of Vox Machina
December 2020 - I do freelance boards for Vox Machina and get hired as a full time revisionist for season 2
January 2021 - I receive a interview request for a job on WondLa at SkyDance due to one of the directors finding my work online, I heavily consider the job
May 2021 - My Adventures of Superman is announced, I draw a piece of fanart that goes viral
July 2021 - Vox Machina season 2 wraps, I receive an offer to return to Lower Decks season 3 as well to work on X-Men 97 (I said yes to Lower Decks)
August 2021 - Spiderman Freshmen Year (now known as Your Friendly Neighborhood Spiderman) asks if I be interested to do boards, I decline not knowing what it was for
September 2021 - Showrunner for Spiderman contacts me personally for interview, my Superman fanart from May 2021 finds it way in front of the eyes of one of the creators for MAWS, still currently doing revisions for Lower Decks S3
October 2021 - Accept job offer as board artist for Spiderman, freelancing on MAWS as a character designer (first time doing this job), turn down SkyDance job offer
December 2021 - Wrapped on Lower Decks S3
January 2022 - Launch as board artist for Spiderman at Marvel Studios, still been developing my own personal projects at this point
February 2022 - Studio Shaft offers layout and genga work for Madoka Magia Record after seeing animation work of my personal projects, I accept
April 2022 - My episode of Madoka Magia Record airs, Studio Pierrot sends offer for work on Boruto
May 2022 - After my first episode on Boruto I am offered to work on Bleach Thousand Year Blood War, I accept and continue to on Bleach as of this post (3 seasons in total), Studio Mir offers me animation work for XMen 97 (I accept but only work on the first episode)
Summer of 2022 - Working on Spiderman, animating on animes, I think at some point this is when I was offered to do animation work for Castlevania Nocturne
November 2022 - Complete season 1 of Spiderman, Marvel/Disney lays me off for *reasons*, I receive an email about potential work on an unannounced show at Nickelodeon, I'm unemployed at this point
January 2023 - Collecting unemployment, freelancing on animes, trying to survive in general, also approached by Colosso to create my own course
February 2023 - Land a short gig on Big City Greens movie over at Disney TVA, Studio Mir once again offer me work but this time for second animated Witcher film
March 2023 - Land an interview as a character designer for that unannounced Nick show, didn't get the job
May 2023 - Wrap up on Big City Greens and Witcher, fly to Japan to relax (I failed)
July 2023 - Land a layout artist position at A24 (no it's not for Hazbin Hotel), Studio Mappa offer me work on Jujutsu Kaisen Shibuya Arc
September 2023 - Land another interview with Nickelodeon (this time for storyboard artist), freelancing on layouts and animation for Castlevania Nocturne S2, A24 job is stressing me out way too much so I decide to leave, MAWS hits me up for retakes on season 2
October 2023 - Wrap up at A24, I land the board artist job at Nick, I am also drowning in Jujutsu Kaisen production meltdown, complete my online course for Colosso, wrap up on MAWS S2
November 2023 - I start at Nick as a board artist, Colosso course release, I am still dying by the hands of Studio Mappa
January 2024 till now - Still boarding over at Nick and still animating on animes (I am VERY selective now about it though after JJK), I am also in therapy now Yeah so that's like, a real rough timeline over everything from school till now (and even then I am missing a lot of work details like video games and development projects due to NDAs). But pretty much what carried me was putting myself and my art out there on social media along with building relationships with people in the studios (outside of just my production) and that's how I've been able to maintain a steady work flow even when I was unemployed. Also not being afraid to develop my own ideas and share them since most of the times that gives the leadership a pretty good idea what sensibilities I have (and they just happen to match). I hope that answered your question!
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uzurimisery · 1 day
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like real people do. / kageyama tobio / nsfw
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wc: 5.5k
Warnings: Kageyama is autistic, smut, fingering, reader has nipple piercings, reader works in A&R for music, reader used to live in brazil, friends to lovers, awkward sex
A/N: experimenting with more awkward/realistic smut and I love my autistic blorbo Kageyama
thank you to @peachyminx and @dervngedgf for beta reading
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Kageyama never did understand the way that conversations worked, or were supposed to work. They were winding, circuitous, jumping from place to place. Unstable like a fault line, bursting from tension. The older he got the more he began to have a loose grasp on them. One so faint it slipped from his fingers if there was too much deviation. It hadn’t been easy to get to this point. It took years of failed attempts at making friends, three failed relationships, and a PR manager to get here. 
Hardly a gentle climb into social know-how. 
There was a script that worked in most situations. The gym, interviews, the grocery store, casuals and quick conversations weren’t altering his normal routine in any major way.  He liked things being the normal way.
So why the hell was he in a club? A place that went so far against the normal?
It had been Hirugami’s idea, he said that the team needed to bond more. Kageyama knew it was just a thinly veiled excuse to get drunk on the team’s card.
 It was awful— the drinking.
Conversations were bad enough while sober, small talk, social cues being a forge in language, and alcohol just made him feel worse about them. The script was thrown across the room and given to an AI generator that made something worse for him to spit back out. 
The pounding music, early 2000s rap, split his head with each drum beat feeling like it was played against his skull. He could smell everything, the foreigners easily able to be picked out from the crowd. The buttons on his navy blue dress shirt had started choking him early so it was now half undone, which he hated. Shirts were meant to have only one, or two, buttons undone depending on the level of formality of the event attending. How many were appropriate for a club? At four buttons down the curve of the underside of his pecs could be seen. 
He felt out of place, out of his element, and like a child sitting at the grown-ups' table for the first time and trying to seem mature. 
“Tobio!” Nicolas shouted at him from across the booth. “When are you going to bring Y/N around again?” 
His face scrunched up. “Why?” 
“Because if you’re not going to make a move I am!” Nicolas’ laugh was grating and sharp. “They used to live not far from my parents. A shame it took until now to meet.”
“I thought you were working things out with Maria?” Kageyama had stopped bringing you around after one too many comments on how he was in love with you and afraid to make a move. Something Nicolas harped on him for and took every opportunity to flirt with you in front of him. 
“Por que não ambos? Maria doesn’t have to know.” Kageyama hated the smirk that spread across the Brazilian's face. He knew that Nicolas was teasing him, just like he knew Nicolas wasn’t interested in you in the slightest, but it always drove him up the wall.
Wakatoshi cut in, voice steady and flat, as always. As much as Kageyama struggled with conversations he knew Wakatoshi would be right there with him. “I believe we have discussed many times that Kageyama-san has stated he is waiting for a better opportunity to discuss his feelings with Y/N-san.” 
“That’s what he said last week and three months ago and then six months ago.” Sokolov chimed into the conversation now, monkey-like as he usually was, followed by Heiwajima.
“You really should talk to them about it. Either way, you need closure to get past your emotional constipation.” 
Kageyama wanted to crawl into a hole. It was bad enough having to figure out his feelings but having them discussed in front of him made him want to jump off the side of Tokyo Tower. His feelings were complicated. Tangled and messy, blending into each other. He didn’t know if he would ever be able to separate them let alone tell you about them.
“Guuys chill, chill,” Hirugami was back with another round of drinks. “Tobio will get to it when pigs fly.” The team busted out laughing. It was humiliating no matter how many times they all poked at him about it. The only way that he’d ever get them to stop was to confess to you.
“Fuck you guys.” He was grumpy now, grumbling into his drink as he took a swig. 
The chorus all said they just wanted the best for him, that there was no way you didn’t feel the same way, that it was all in good faith, all stuff to make them feel better about teasing him. He hated being teased. 
Maybe if he just told you they’d finally leave him alone about it. You might get distant for a bit but he had faith that you could be friends again down the road. 
“If I tell them tonight will you guys leave me alone about it?”
Nicolas’ sly look managed to get worse. “You tell them tonight and I’ll give you ten thousand yen.” 
“Deal.” 
Slipping his phone out of his front pocket and pulling up your contact information had never felt so stressful. He didn’t need the money, he just wanted to be left alone about this. 
To: Y/N
Can you meet me outside Playa Del Sol? 
From: Y/N
You’re at a club?
To: Y/N
I wasn’t my idrea 
Typing was hard. The heat of all the bodies in the room made his hand slippery. 
From: Y/N
Lucky you, I’m just down the street at a gig
>You think you’d be fine to hang out for that? Local band
To: Y/N 
As long as it’s not Sean Paul 
From: Y/N
Kk see you in 10 
Kageyama was, as usual, grateful for your friendship as he excused himself from the group and headed outside to wait for you. More often than not you served as a refuge for him. One of the few people in the world who truly understood him. You didn’t question his mannerisms and need for routine. 
Once he had asked if you thought he was weird, as flawed as he felt, and you had looked at him as if the question was stupid and gave a simple ‘no.’ 
Meeting you had been a deviation from the norm in the best way. Hinata had been visiting and when they were out they bumped into you, surprised since you had been a manager at one of Hinata’s favorite jazz clubs back in Brazil. 
Kageyama got lost in the conversation as Hinata and you bounced between English, Portuguese, and Japanese when speaking. You had corrected and steered the conversation to Japanese, seeing Kageyama’s confusion. 
Your Japanese was clunky back then, and your mouth still struggling with the syllables at times. More than that, your understanding of pitch accent back then was abysmal.
But that meeting had changed his world, shifted its axis. 
Eventually, Hinata’s two-month vacation ended and he left, and Kageyama expected you to leave his orbit too. But you didn’t, you stayed around. It’s been three years and you were still around. And it's been a year since he realised he loved you. 
When the night air had started to sink in, sweat from the club finally drying, he saw you round the corner. 
Every time he saw you he thought he’d get used to how beautiful you were but he never could. You were bright as the sun, warming him, the rays of your light brushing across his skin promised growth, comfort, and shelter. 
Your braids had been half pulled back in some sort of half-updo, two ponytails at the top of your head. He has watched you do them the other week. Or he had been watching before you made him help you since he was sitting there. He didn’t know how to braid at all, but you made him learn. Told him your continued friendship was dependent on it.
He was glad you made him learn though. It gave him an excuse to be in your space, close to you, for hours on end. To touch you without worrying if the amount of contact was normal or not. 
“Tobio!” His name always sounded so perfect coming from your glossed lips. There was a twinkle in your eyes. You had done your makeup for “special events” as you had once explained it to him. Instead of a normal cat eye, you had graphic black eyeliner. He never understood why you wore makeup but he knew that it was something you enjoyed doing. 
He stumbled a bit as he moved towards you, wetting his lips with his tongue. “Y/N.” 
“Whoa careful there big guy! How much have you had to drink tonight?” 
Your arm grasped his bicep, his heart stuttering at the contact.
“Three double vodka cranberries and one beer.”
Your brows raised. “Rough time in there huh?”
“You have no idea.” Kageyama launched into recounting what had happened. 
One of his favourite things about you was how you didn’t press on topics he didn’t want to talk about. You left the conversation shift onto the gig you dragged him to and about the band. His second favourite thing about you was your willingness to unabashedly talk about your interests. Your job as an A&R at Sony meant you were always talking to him about a new band or artist. Before meeting you he wouldn’t consider himself someone who cared about music much. It was just something to help him keep pace while running. He didn’t understand why people liked it. But by watching you he started to dissect the reasons. 
It wasn’t a conscious decision, no grand realisation listening to a recommendation from you. It was a gradual shift. He started listening to more things, trying to pick out ones you’d like and he could send them to you. It was only after Wakatoshi had pointed out he was humming one day that he clocked the change went beyond just you.  
When you got to the venue, you flashed your Employee ID at security and pulled Kageyama in behind you.  It was just as dimly lit as the club but the smaller venue made it less obstructive. You had dragged him here before for a folk singer-songwriting you signed after the show. He had no idea what he was about to listen to but he knew if it was you, it’d be good. 
You led him to the middle of the standing-room area. You preferred a more central location so you could observe the artist’s dynamics and stage presence. While he would normally want to be on the outskirts, he didn’t mind being in the middle. It was crowded though so you were stood in front of him. Someone walked past and knocked you back against him. 
“Sorry!” You knew that he didn’t like physical contact much, so you created space as soon as you could. It pained him. 
“It’s okay. I don’t mind if it’s you.” When you smiled up at him, he felt like he was going to short-circuit. “Who are we discovering today?” 
Another person bumped you into him, shifting your balance and almost causing you to fall. He wrapped his arms around you to stabilise you before he even knew what he was doing.
You muttered under your breath something about expecting better from the crowd here. “You remember Hozier?” 
He knew who Hozier was. You had forced him to listen to Hozier’s entire discography one day. He liked Hozier. In another world maybe he would be as good with his words as the singer was. He could write you poems and sonnets, tell you all the little things about you that made him feel right. As much as he might try now, he couldn’t so he hoped that you wouldn’t hold it against him.
“Yes. You made me listen to his entire discography.” His throat felt dry. “I don’t believe I understood all the metaphors but he has a good voice.”
“Well, imagine Hozier if he was Japanese. And he blended traditional instruments, taiko drums and all that, with a raspy voice and great lyricism.” 
“I see.”  His gaze shifted, watching you adjust in his arms. He wondered if he should release you if he was supposed to have let go three seconds ago or held on longer. Now he was scared to move and make it weirder by moving.
“Sorry, should I let you go?” He was nervous, anxiety creeping, edging him out of the buzz he had from drinking earlier and into harsh sobriety. 
“No, it’s okay. I’m kinda cold and you’re really warm.” 
“Okay.”
The conversation between the two of you died down and Kageyama wanted to make a clone of himself and shake it around. What the hell was he doing? Under the dim lights, the first few chords starting to play, cradling you in his arms, he felt so nervous. 
The opening band started to fill the room with an instrumental. Their first two songs went by quickly enough at least. You would sway along, occasionally bobbing your head to the beat. Your eyes were focused on them as they performed. Someone might look over and think you were a long-time fan of the opening act, enraptured by their performance, but Kageyama knew you. You were appraising them, seeing if they had potential.
As their set drug on, he found himself watching you more than the band. Your brows would twitch, pulling together in the middle for a split second, every time they did something you considered to be a technical miss. You had told him that bands were like a team of volleyball players. 
When you explained it you said that singers were like aces. The powerhouse that made a team stand apart from their opponents. Drums were the setter. They set the tempo, and the flow, of the song Guitars were like hitters, driving down the point. Keys or synths were liberos, not always on the track but essential for making a good song, and basses were middle blockers, getting a perfect read and keeping the team grounded. So far it seemed like the band was winning their set. 
He liked watching you like this, seeing you the most in your element. It hurt his heart, made it tight in his chest from how your eyes darted across the stage. It felt like ripping off a bandage. Diving without a kneepad and your skin tearing on the polished floor of the court.  Like hand sanitiser in a superficial wound. Painful, but knowing that the pain was a sign of growth, of healing. 
The lighting changed, hues of pink and red, as the frontman started talking about their next and final song. He was telling the crowd to grab their lovers, pull them close, and sway along with the music. Kageyama nearly choked when you turned to face him and wrapped your arms around his neck. 
“Well hello lover.” you giggle at the last word, joking about your relationship. While didn’t like the joking nature of it, he wanted it to be real, he liked you calling him it. Your fingernails scratched at the nape of his neck, tangling in the hairs there.
He had had too much to drink and feeling your chest against his own was making the blood rush from his head and straight to his groin. He felt like a teenage boy, unable to keep himself from growing hard. Maybe it was wishful thinking, but he swore he could feel your nipples. 
His breath hitched as he went to respond, low and raspy in your ear. “Hello.” Kageyama wanted to say something better, more suave and flirtatious, wishing for a second that he could embody the same way with women Nicolas had. 
“How much did you have to drink?” 
“Not enough.” His cheeks were flush, he needed something in this moment. To pull you closer against himself or to push you away so you didn’t catch on to his growing hard-on. 
Your heartbeat against his own in the confined space, slower than his rapid one. The music drowned out, turning to background sounds as he stared into your eyes. Eye contact was normally so forced for him, constantly having to remind himself to make it. It felt so much more intense with you like you could see through him. He loved your eye colour and the way the corners of your eyes crinkled when you smiled. 
Your lips curled up into a smile as you gazed at him, coated in a shimmery gloss that smelt like vanilla. Your tongue poked out the wet your lips, something you always did when you needed to reapply the lip gloss. He wanted to know what it felt like against his own. If it was as sticky as it looked. If it’d pull into fine strands as you separated. 
“What are you staring at so intensely? I feel like you’re dissecting me.” 
He felt loose and sappy from the drinks earlier, more willing to take risks.
“You. I’m staring at you.” 
“Me?”
His eyes shifted up to meet yours again. “You.” You chuckled a little bit at him before replying. 
“Why?”
“I want to kiss you.” The words slipped out of him before he could stop them, once again putting his foot in his mouth. You were going to reject him, tell him off for violating your boundaries. He’d have to text Hinata tomorrow that he fucked up with you and that everything went wrong. 
“Kiss me.” The first time you said the words it didn’t compute in his brain. 
“Tobio, kiss me.” He stood frozen, short-circuiting, he had been so set on an outcome that a change in path threw him off.
The trance was broken when he felt your lips against his, sticky from the lip gloss as he imagined. You were soft, like a feather brushing across his kiss, gentle and tentative. When you pulled away from him it felt like he could breathe again. You tasted sweet, no doubt partially from the lip gloss but also just you. He wanted more.
Kageyama leaned in, one hand tentatively reaching up to the side of your face to cradle it. His lips met yours again it started with pecks, gentle like you had been, before building in intensity. It felt like Kageyama had been starving for years, the sensation unknown and accepted as just a part of living, but as your mouth opened and his tongue met yours he realised that his hunger, his craving, his desire, had been an aspect of himself so far removed from his understanding until this moment. He understood want and need now that he had tasted you.
The heat of your breath melting with his own made his nerves alight as you parted for air. 
“I’m in love with you.” Your forehead met his shoulder and you laughed. 
“Tobio I know,” it was like the lights in the room knew to shine down around you giving you a halo. “You’re not good at hiding it.”
“I’m sorry.”  You tucked your head under his chin and he let his hands slip down from your waist and into your back pockets, feeling emboldened by your actions.
You swayed with him to the beat of the song as the transition music into the main act’s set began. 
“If it’s any consolation I found it cute.” Your lips met the side of his neck and you tilted upwards to his ear. “I’m in love with you too.”
He joined you in shifting side to side, enjoying the moment as you murmured against his skin, voice warmth with honesty. He didn’t understand it all, but he understood you in this moment, the shared feeling of love between you. One old and ancient, but never weathered by time, still steadfast in its stature. Unending, unshifting. 
The “Japanese Hozier” stepped out onstage and Kageyama let you turn to face the stage, moving to take his hands off you only to find them being wrapped around your waist again, guided by your hands.  He wouldn’t remember the set list, or the singer's performance, too entangled in you and feeling you in all his senses to care about anything else. 
───※ ·❆· ※───
You had brought him home after the show, still humming some of the songs as you puttered around. He had changed as you made a midnight snack for the two of you. His hair hung in clumped damp strands as he played sudoku on his phone waiting for you to finish up. You hated when he got in your way in the kitchen. 
With a plate full of mini pancakes you plopped down on the couch next to him, your makeup removed and hair up. He liked you the most like this, relaxed and human. Sometimes he worried you were an angel sent down from the heavens to make him believe in god but instead drove him to sin.
He took one off the plate when you moved it closer to him. Chewing on it slowly, watching you nibble on yours. 
“You wanna talk about it?” His eyes were peeled on your lips. 
“Only if you’re comfortable.” 
“I’m fine…” you moved and placed the plate on the coffee table. “Good, actually. Great even.”
“I feel like I owe you an explanation.”
You raised an eyebrow at him. “For what?”
“I don’t know.” He felt so many things right now it was difficult to verbalise any of them.
You pulled your knees to your chest and faced him. A braid fell into your face and you tucked it behind your ear. Every time he looked at you he understood poetry and prose, songs of admiration, why men would go to war over their lovers. It was nonsensical, to think you could see stars in someone's eyes, but you reflected the lights of the room like a planetarium. He thought that he might die before he found the words to express his thoughts and feelings to you, to get his point across, but he knew with you he didn’t have to. He had never had to. 
His hand encompassed your own, interlocking his fingers with yours. They fit together like puzzle pieces, you the last piece needed to complete the puzzle. Simple connection, conjoining of spirits. 
Kageyama tugged on your hand, pulling you towards himself, making you come to rest on your shins in between his legs. He kissed the back of your hand, softly, tenderly, still afraid that there was something he was missing. But the ball never dropped, the tower never crumbled, and he led you further forward, your free hand resting at his chest before slithering up the back of his neck. 
He couldn’t tell if it was you or him who moved first, closing the distance between you, your lips meeting again. It felt more tentative than the first ones had. Careful and measured, aware of the space, the boundaries, the dynamic you had had. Of how that was shifting, changing, as the pretences you had were changed. 
Kageyama dropped your hand in favour of wrapping his around your waist, guiding you to manoeuvre into his lap. Your ass rested against his groin. The longer he kissed you, the more he felt himself growing hard, aided by your hips grinding down on him. Once on a night out with the team, you had danced with him and it was then that he learned of how fluid you were. Tonight you were water, dripping down on him, swirling around him, wetting his skin. 
He palmed at the waistband of the sleep shorts you had changed into, desperately wanting to remove them but unwilling to force you into something. You pulled away from kissing him to remove your shorts, left in just your underwear and oversized shirt. Kageyama quickly stripped off his shirt before kissing you again, this time letting it evolve into making out with you.
One of your hands moved to his lower abdomen, brushing against his happy trail, making him shiver. He felt you palm at his length through his sweats, slow and sensually. His dick was bigger than you thought it’d be. Average girth but one or two inches longer than expected.  
“Can I touch you?” 
“Yes.” His response was quick, jumping the gun, eager to have you take him in your hand. 
When your skin met his Kageyama swore he might cum from it. His emotions were high-strung, making him more sensitive. He whimpered as your thumb crossed over the tip. 
Your hands felt like velvet against him, smooth and soft, your touch gentle but firm, supplying the perfect amount of pressure as you began sliding it up and down his shaft. His stomach muscles tightened as you went along, pulling him in on himself. It should be criminal that you made him feel such a way from something so simple, reducing him into a schoolboy being touched for the first time. 
He wrapped a hand around your wrist to stop your movements, separating from kissing you to speak. 
“I’m going to cum if you do that too much.”
“That’s the goal Tobio.” 
“Yes, I know, but I would like to make you cum before I do.” 
You gave a small smile, butterflies flitting around in his stomach as you did. “Well, who am I to stop you?”
You crossed your arms as you took off your shirt. When you changed earlier you must not have put on a bra. The curve of your waist he knew already to be temptation incarnate, but the swell of your chest would turn any many into a sinner. 
Your nipples were hard as they were exposed to the cool air of your apartment, small silver balls catching the overhead light. 
“You have your nipples pierced?” 
You cupped your breasts, pinching your nipples. Tobio’s eyes were locked in, focused on the way the silver complimented you. “Yeah, I’ve had them for ages.”
“Can I touch them?” He wanted to pinch at your nipples and feel the cool metal beside them. Your nod was all he needed to do so. 
His touch was hesitant at first, afraid of damaging the piercing somehow. When he squeezed down harder on them he could feel the bars going through your nipples. It was interesting to him, the modification, he wondered what made you get them in the first place. 
As he pinched and twisted your nipples slightly, a soft whimper snuck out the back of your throat, going straight to his already painfully hard erection. 
If you were sensitive to this he wanted to know what it would do to you if he took them into his mouth. It was in the name of science that he did so, leaning forward and wrapping his mouth around your left nipple. 
The metal met his tongue, cold and sharp, constructing against the warmth of your chest. He was cautious not to use his teeth as he played with your nipple in his mouth. You gave out small moans and gasps, hips stuttering against his own, as you threw your head back. Ever since you had gotten them pierced your nipples were more sensitive than ever. 
Kagayema stared up at you. He wondered how he got so lucky in life. He’d have to go to the shrine on New Year with his mother to thank the gods for letting him have you like this. 
He wanted to make you feel more, to know his touch in ways you never had before. 
His free hand not ding at your waist trailed down your side, tracing the outline, as he dragged it down to your core. When he met your underwear, the fabric a simple micro fibre, and slipped past it he was certain that he’d need to go to the shrine every holiday. You were wet, drenched even, allowing his fingers to slip through your slick folds easily. 
Kageyama was not a virgin, he’d had sex before and he was thorough with it. His thumb met your clot, going over it in slow circles, while his pointer and ring finger started to tease your hole. 
When he was able the press both fingers into you and pump them in and out of you, he released your nipple that he had ever so diligently been sucking on to swap for the other one. He bit down it ever so slightly making a shocked gasp and whimper of his name escape you. 
“Be gentle jackass!” Your speech airy, escaping as an exhale. 
It was cruel the way how you said his name made his dick jerk as if he was going to cum, the muscle in his abdomen flexing tight. He’d be dammed if he came before you though, his teeth grazing over your nipple again, tongue swiping over the bar. 
His fingers picked up in speed, pressing against a spot that made you squeak almost. High-pitched and short. Like you hadn’t expected him to hit it. 
The pressure building kept building as he did so, making you get lightheaded as it went on. He was so close to making you cum. Like an itch, you scratch just next to it, the edge. 
His thumb kept toying with your clit as he kept his pace steady, matching the tempo. You could feel yourself tightening up as he worked your body. The noises in the room turned pornographic as more liquid gushed out of you, lubricating his hand, making it easier for him to thrust his fingers in and out and in again. 
Kageyama detached himself from your chest and moved to kiss along the side of your neck and ear.
“You’re so pretty…” he trailed off before biting your neck and sucking hard to leave a hickey. 
You came with a start, the orgasm rolling through you as he bit down, his name coming out a broken moan. Your muscle winding right before snapping under the pressure, eyes screwing shut. It made your head spin, feeling your heartbeat in your skull and down to your toes. The force of it made you clamp down so hard on Kageyama’s fingers that as he tried to pull them out, he couldn’t. 
A minute passed before he was finally able to slip them out of you as you whined for him to keep them inside. When you finally opened your eyes you were met with Kageyams face being entirely red.
“You okay?”  You propped yourself up on your elbows to get a better look at him. 
He licked his lips before speaking, trying to wet them. “I just came.” 
“Oh.”
Things were still for a second. 
“Is there, uh, anything I can do to help?” 
“No. Just give me a minute.” This was the most embarrassment he had felt in a long time 
“Okay.” You cupped his face with one hand. He turned a kissed your palm “We can stop here if you want.”
He contemplated for a few moments in his head, his boxer briefs now feeling sticky. The sensation was grossing him out no matter how badly he wanted to continue.  
“Tobio,” you flicked his forehead “Get out of your head, you’ve got that scrunched-up look on your face.” 
He grumbled against your palm as he spoke. “I like you and I’m embarrassed.”
“Well, I love you and we can always go for a second round.” 
He stilled, humming under his breath. “Could we shower first?” 
“Of course.” 
───※ ·❆· ※───
Out of the shower, where a second round had happened, along with telling you about the bet, Kageyama felt unsure of what to do next. It reminded him of leaving a court at the end of a game, his adrenaline high and heart pumping. The adjustment to reality was strange and foreign. He was sure this must have been how you felt after a concert ended. Lost, unsure what to do after as he cuddled with you in your bed. 
“What happens next?” 
You laughed and it shook your body as you lay on top of him, tracing patterns on his chest.
“You buy me breakfast in the morning.” 
“And after that?” 
“What about after that?” 
“Well,” you started. “We keep doing what we’ve always done. But when we go out to eat we don’t call it hanging out, we call it a date. When we sleep at the other’s place, we sleep in the same bed. Only the little things change between us, the big things stay the same and we get to kiss now. When an interviewer asks if you’ve got a girlfriend, you get to say yes.” 
“You’re my girlfriend?” 
“Well, I thought that was the point of the confession, well along with winning a bet, unless you don't want me to be?” 
“No, I do.” 
“Good.” 
It was silent for a moment as he intertwined his free hand in your own, bringing it closer to his mouth so he could kiss it. You settled further into him, filling out the space where he was the most empty both physically and metaphorically, humming ‘Like Real People Do’.
A Venmo notification cut through the peace. 
Nicolas Romero sent you ¥10,000 
“Atta boy Tobio” 
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©️ uzuzrimisery
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vashs-ass · 1 day
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TRIGGER WARNING // SA
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Analysis of Vash and His Assault in Trigun
Now that I’ve finally finished the manga, I want to discuss why I believe the fifth moon incident in Trigun is supposed to represent sexual assault. Apparently this interpretation is somewhat controversial so I’m going to go over how I see it. If you have a different interpretation that’s completely fine, I’m not trying to say one is more correct than the other.
One other thing I will preface this with, is that I do not think Knives canonically SAed Vash. I think the situation is supposed to be metaphor for sexual assault.
So anyways, why do I think it’s supposed to represent sexual assault and not physical assault? In my opinion, Knives’ main objective is not to physically hurt Vash, his goal is to force Vash into preforming non consensual acts.
The symbolism in fifth moon is very heavy handed. This is the first time we see Vash be assaulted. Knives is depicted as completely naked. Yes, there is an explanation for this in the plot but I do think it was a deliberate choice.
Prior to the fifth moon incident, Vash has no memories of what happened at July. This is unusual because Vash does not have a pattern of shutting out distressing events in his life. He’s able to remember his childhood and Rem’s death in great detail. So something about what happened was particularly disturbing and violating to Vash in a way he’d never experienced before. Even Knives notes that this is unusual, apparently expecting the incident would have ‘after effects’ for his brother.
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During this initial discussion Vash begins to recall some of the memories of what happened, or rather, what he felt. He describes the feelings surrounding what happened as ‘something horrifyingly sick’.
Now we will get into the meat of things.
The visuals of the actual assault are horrifying. Nightow uses some great body horror to amplify the severity of what is happening to Vash’s body. During this assault, Knives is constantly grabbing at Vash’s body, forcing it to do what he wants. This one particular panel I don’t see talked about much really hit me in the gut, with knives standing naked between Vash’s legs. This is kinda what solidified everything for me.
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Knives is almost always seen holding a hand over Vash’s eyes and his heart. This is a very intimate gesture and I think this can have a lot of different reads depending on who you ask. For me covering his eyes further takes away Vash’s control over what’s happening to his body, Knives’ hand clawing at his heart representing his desire to violate Vash’s very being and take it for himself. To possess him. To objectify him.
He asks Vash how it feels, and Vash can be seen sobbing in what I think is emotional agony rather than physical pain. Having this happen to him again seems to have triggered the memories he had tried to burry.
Other people have pointed out that the angel arm can be seen as a phallic symbol. I’m not really sure where I fall on this idea but I thought I’d mention it at least.
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I will also point out one more instance of assault after fifth moon because this is not the only time Vash is assaulted by his brother
I think this takes place towards the middle of the manga if I remember correctly. This scene (to me) represents the ‘loss of self’ victims often feel as well as the physical aspect of sexual assault. Knives briefly attempts to force Vash’s body into his. He stabs Vash through his arm, pinning him down in attempt to ‘merge’ Vash with himself. When it doesn’t work he rips it out of Vash which seems to cause him horrific pain.
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The fact Vash goes on to use his angel arm to save people later on in the story is very powerful. It was once a reminder of the violations he had endured but he reclaimed it as well as his bodily autonomy.
After this there are a few other more minor instances of Knives violating Vash, but I won’t get into those because I feel I’ve made my point. If you have anything to add I’d love to hear it!
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collinnmckinley · 1 year
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Cayde-6 in Destiny 2: The Final Shape | Teaser Trailer.
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uncanny-tranny · 7 months
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If I'm honest, the whole "love in every stitch" saying for fiber artists does not apply to me, like. I'm trying to get this fucking hook into stubborn yarn and I'll be stabbing it like it owed me money. Is that love because I hope not 😭💀
#art#crochet#honestly the closest thing i feel to love when crocheting is this feeling that this is bigger than me if that makes sense...#...i think it'sthe feeling of knowing how old the craft itself is and knowing that millions of people have done the same as you...#...millions of people have stabbed their crochet hook into the yarn because it's stubborn but so are you...#...millions of people in the past have sat and devoted their time and effort into all of this...#...millions of people have passed on this knowledge and kept this thing alive...#...and it's the feeling of knowing that humans across millenia aren't THAT different#to our core we are more or less similar - across the ages across the colours across everything. that really comforts and humbles me#have you looked up ancient textiles? because that also sparks these emotions in me#it makes me think about the tupes of people to make the textile but also about who wore it#and so many of them are still beautiful and colourful and it shows you SO MUCH about the people who made them#even the ones that are tattered and faded and stripped of colour still feel beautiful...#...because it has SURVIVED. it is evidence of a people who made it and a people who had technical skills#and THIS is why i HATE HATE HATE the idea that ancient people were just 'dumb' and 'uneducated'#that is so unfair to them and cruel and just. wrong. (and often it reeks of white supremacy)#i'm sorry i rant and rave about this so much but i canNOT be normal about this. i can't be normal about humanity#i am learning to love humanity and learn about us and learn everything and it'll never be enough - i will never know enough#i will never know everything about everybody and it will be the death of me#okay the only thing i liked about the greatest showman movie was Never Enough because that is me thinking about all this
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vaguely-concerned · 8 months
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Thinking about the symbolic weight of smoking in the TLT universe that comes to the fore in The Unwanted Guest -- the way it moves through from person to person: Pyrrha smoked, and Augustine wanted to impress her in all her stone cold fox MILF James Bond glory (and tbf who wouldn't) so he started too. and even though as far as he knows she's been gone for a myriad and is never coming back, he keeps the habit. Ianthe sees something in the hollowed-out Faberge eggshell of Augustine that resonates with her, all that gilded eloquent emptiness and disdain through the ages, so she picked it up from him to try to emulate it. She picked it up so hard that Palamedes -- the exact spiritual antithesis of the 'smoking! on a space station! what a powermove' ennui Ianthe so admired -- spontaneously unnerded enough to even known how to, simply from a sort of contact contamination of the soul.
G1deon and Augustine sharing a jittery smoke after their near-Harrow experience during soup night, and it's the closest thing to any real sense of brotherhood that remains between them. Pyrrha going ten thousand years dying both literally and for a smoke (and then Camilla sold her fucking cigarettes (for a third of what they were worth, probably Pyrrha's own good, and also more importantly grocery money). what an entirely haunted time to be alive etc.). Augustine and Mercy trading a cigarette back and forth in the middle of their collusion over the love and murder of god.
An act of small and measured self-destruction in the name of something a little bit like connection when you're stuck somewhere in yourself where love itself dares not or cannot tread (ritualized, transmissible)..........
#the unwanted guest#the unwanted guest spoilers#the locked tomb#ianthe tridentarius#augustine the first#pyrrha dve#palamedes sextus#this series is going to make me lose my mind completely one day (affectionate)#the locked tomb meta#the fact that ianthe seems to have had some genuine admiration for augustine makes my head spin. of course though.#of course she sees the person who looks the most like he's successfully made himself impervious to the world#utterly untouchable and impossible to hurt because he isn't even really there#and she believes it! even after seeing the john mercy augustine mess at the end! because it's such a seductive idea#when you've stuck yourself in an inevitable ocean of pain to think you could make yourself numb enough that it doesn't matter#it's the emotional equivalent of 'oh there's water all around? well I just won't breathe in then. easy lmao get on my level'#she holds on to that thing from him even when it's been proved to be both impossible and ultimately untrue even in him#because uh. oh I'm about to be kind of sad for ianthe what the fuck is going on. he might actually have been the closest thing#to parental and especially paternal affection she's ever known. certainly known enough to try to model herself after#IMAGINE how fucked up the nine houses must be when augustine the first registers for anyone as a model of psychological survival#ianthe do you really want to be yourself completely so much that you're willing to be nothing. I mean yeah probably but. oh my god#gaining nothing at the cost of everything
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