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wisecrackingeric-2 · 1 year

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My thoughts on Resident Evil Death Island: spoilers ahead!!!!

I made a spoiler-free post on my page talking about my opinions on Death island, but here’s my spoiler-filled summary and thoughts on the whole movie!!!!!! This isn’t a one-to-one summary/explanation of what happens in the movie, if that’s what you want, you can find it on @highball66 ‘s page!!!!

Spoilers ahead under cut!!!

When people said this was Jills movie and she was THE main character i didint really believe them. But they were RIGHT. She IS THE MOMENT. SHES THE REAL STAR OF THIS MOVIE. She goes off H A R D

Ok first off. THE BEGINNING????????? I went absolutely F E R A L when I saw we were seeing the POV of umbrella soldiers during the initial Racoon City Outbreak oh my GOD IT WAS SO STRESSFUL. The harsh cut from the two dudes talking in the car, fighting back against civilians to having to isolate their friends after they got infected inside of a meat fridge(???) it was SO INTENSE I WAS GOING ABSOLUTELY FERAL. Basically the main villain was an Umbrella solider named Dylan and was working alongside his best friend JJ, and they were sent to Raccoon City to deal with people trying to break out, but it cuts to all their team members hiding in a meat fridge all having been infected while him and his best friend are the only ones who’re ok, and when they asked for backup to figure out what to do with their infected teammates, the comms come back telling them to lock them in a room and kill them all. The main villain is BEGGING his friend not to and all hell breaks loose as his friend kills all of them, because once they turn into zombies they manage to break out of the room and attack him, and Dylan is literally on the ground screaming for his friend not to and for all of it to stop and it’s PAINFULL. HES LITERALLY CURLED UP CRYING BEHIND A TABLE BEGGING HIS FRIEND TO STOP. T H E N his FRIEND (who is TOTALLY HIS GAY LOVER BY THE WAY. THEY WERE D E F I N I T E L Y GAY) gets infected and he’s FORCED TO KILL HIM OH MY GOD IT WAS SO AHANDHDNXHXNX IT WAS SO GENUIENLY TENSE

Also the Villains motivations were actually really decent??????? It wasn’t his intention to kill random innocent people like Glenn Arias, he specifically made T-Virus filled mosquitos he able to be controlled by his command so he could pick out and specify who to kill, and he wanted to kill SPECIFICALLY people in power or in governments or the BSAA/Terrasave etc etc etc, and he even bought up a few REALLY good points, like how they in the end don’t actually help innocent civilians and how it’s just a big money-making venture for them. Of all the RE villains, this guy was actually really compelling and interesting and genuinely intimidating

He has this repeated thing he does throughout the movie where he’ll get his gun, unload the bullets, point it to his head and pull the trigger just to get that feeling cuz he feels so guilty for killing his “””best friend””” (Totally his boyfriend) and it was s o unnerving to watch.

Also, Dr Taylor’s back!!! And there’s this one REALLY genuinely tense scene where he’s being forced to finish making the weird mosquito thingies, and as the villain (his named Dylan) is congratulating him he’s also pointing a gun to his head and it’s set up in such a way that’s so tense my friend next to me was audibly holding her breath in fright chsnxhsnxjns

Anyways,, LEON ON HIS MOTORCYCLE!!!!!! AND HUNNIGAN IS THERE!!! We never see her face but we hear her voice heaps!!!!!!! He chases after Glenn Arias’ daughter Maria but in classic Leon fashion, he is DESTROYED by her choke-slamming him with her thighs and he crashes the bike. Classic silly goose Leon

Also when Claire goes onto the beach to investigate the orcas, the locals are hesitant of her once she tells them she’s from Terrasave which is a reoccurring theme in the movie

There’s this REALLY AWESOME super tense scene that’s probably the only truly scary scene in the movie where Jills investigating a house for survivors after a zombie attack, and a zombie jumpscares her and she smashed it into a table (which is where the scene from the trailer comes from,) and Chris breaks in with us team and tries to tell her off for going in on her own and being reckless

Later on, Chris is talking with Rebecca and he’s like “I’m making Jill do the mission report for this mission cuz she went in recklessly >:((“ and Rebecca was like “oooooh. Punishment :)” and Chris was like “huh??? Whuh?? No!!” Which made me crack up laughing HCNDHDNDISN but then Rebecca tries to explain that she’s probably struggling with what happened when Wesker brainwashed her, and how she was probably taking that anger out on herself. Chris obviously goes to comfort her at the shooting range, and there’s this cute moment where he walks in covering his ears going 🥺 cuz she’s shooting, and he tries to comfort her and tell her about how he was planning for PIERS NIVANS TO TAKE OVER AND HOW HE FEELS GUILTY FOR HIS DEATH WAAAHHHHH and he tries to tell her that in their line of work death is inevitable, and that it’s worth it to keep going, and Jill opens up about how awful it was to be under Weskers control, and that she felt like she wanted nothing more than to kill them all. She opened up about how all she wanted to do was save innocent lives but now after everything she’s seen she just feels numb, which was SUCH an impactful scene for her, and Chris tried to tell her it’s not worth becoming numb because that’s how you loose your humanity, but she ignores him to keep shooting.

Spoilers, her trauma is never really truly resolved by the end of the movie, which is a real shame; but it’s nice to see it being acknowledged at all, and the scene was really sweet (also while Chris watches her wistfully shooting while ignoring him this time he d o e s n t cover his ears??? You’re gonna go deaf old man!!)

Next, Chris, Claire and Jill are all hanging out in Rebecca’s office talking about life and how boring having to beat up bad guys is over coffee and it’s SO CUTE AND DOMESTIC RAGH and then they all go to meet up with Claire and talk about how the T-Virus is infecting people only on Alcatraz and how more cases are spreading blah blah blah plot stuff but next scene they arrive on a boat to Alcatraz DISGUISED AS TOURISTS AND CHRIS HAS THE FULL HAWAIIAN SHIRT GOIN ON ITS SO CUTE AAAAAAA and Jill has this cute lil cardigan on meanwhile Claire didint even bother trying to disguise herself???

There’s this scene where this YouTuber dude is being recorded and he’s being all loud and annoying and it FEELS like an obvious dig at Mr Beast and it was SO FUNNY my friend and I were SHITTING ourself laughing the whole time, and then booyah everyone gets infected from mosquitoes and turns into zombies except for the three main guys, and they CLIMB AROUND THE PRISON LIKE FUCKING MONKEYS????? IT WAS S O SILLY AND FUNNY I WAS LAUGHING SO HARD and as Chris and Claire are mowing down the zombies Jill gets seperated from them and falls into the sewers, where she gets lost and runs into Leon- she thinks he’s a zombie at first so they have this really cool mini fight-scene before they finally meet eye-to-eye and she’s like “:00 Leon??” And he responds “Well whaddya know. It’s Jill Valentine!” And it was SO CUTE WAH and he tells her that he’s been looking for the one and only Doctor Taylor and in his words says “he’s wanted by the US-Of-A” oh my god I love this man so much he’s so goofy and these weird marine lickers come out of the water and they have to stay quiet and there’s this one moment where the lickers tongue slides up Jill’s body and my friend and I were looking at each other like 😀 the whole time HCNSHDNSUD before Leon eventually shoots it and summons more.

Their dynamic is S O GOOD I CANT EXPRESS ENOUGH HOW GREAT THEIR DYNAMIC IS Leon asks if Jill has a gun and she says she lost it, so he does this funky lil gun trip and twirls it before giving it to her and she’s like “thanks :)” and as more Lickers arrive she immediately tells him to DUCK and he just leaps in the opposite y direction, and as they’re running away from them Jill asks;

“How many are there?!”

And Leon responds

“I ain’t stoppin’ to count em’!”

And my friend and I were S H I T T I N G OURSELVES LAUGJING and when they FINALLY manage to blow them up Leon goes

“Zero”

“Huh???”

“You asked how many there were. Zero, now :)” HES SO GOOFY I WANNA MARRY HIM

Their dynamic is SO GOOD

Then, Chris and Claire find Dr Taylor hiding in a little box, who introduces himself with a fake name and is CLEARLY pretending to be a good guy. Claire tells him she’s with Terrasave and his first reaction IS TO CALL HER A TERRORIST AND SAY TERRASAVE WAS BEHIND HARVARDVILLE?????? Claire obviously CHEWS HIM OUT and Chris stops them but goddamn I think homegirl deserved to destroy him. Claire tends to his wounds anyways, and she and Chris tells him they’d help him even if he was one of the bad guys and in that moment my friend turned to me and I’m a really goofy voice said “I am the bad guy” and I shit myself laughing

Then Chris and Claire are bit by the T-Virus mosquitoes, and they’re officially out of service for a good portion of the movie. One of my only VERY VERY FEW negatives abt this movie is that Claire and Chris were thrown away for the better part of the middle half, but it’s ABSOLUTELY made up for by the fact that we get to see Jill kick ass and the fact that we get to see Claire and Chris on seen hanging out together just in general

Jill and Leon are still stuck in the sewers and Leon uses his air bender powers to feel a draft, pushes a brick and reveals a secret passageway oooooOOoOoOoo, but Jill is hesitant to go inside and Leon’s like “Hey don’t worry, it’ll be just like a prison break :)” AND I WAS JUST AGAGSGDHXUSH

As they’re crawling on their hands and knees through the passageway Jill says something sarcastic that made me laugh (I don’t remember what it was grrrr) and Leon does this little half giggle and a smile and just :))) ARGAGAGAGAGAH

Then the two of them find the big main Lab, and Leon’s like “this must be where they’re making the virus” and Jill in THE MOST SARCASTIC VOICE EVER goes “Woah, really? You think??” IT MADE ME LAUGH SO HARD and Jill IMMEDIATELY suggests that they simply just. Blow it up. And Leon agrees. God I love them. Then Dylan talks over the speaker teasing them to come rescue their friends like Teehehehe Hohoho :)))) it was so silly

Then. Hooooooooo boy. It was THE ship scene of ALL TIME.

Claire and Chris are in seperate cells and find out their are slowly mutating, Claire quicker than Chris, and Dr Taylor is stuck inside with her. Jill immediately runs to Chris’ bars to hold his hand aaaawwwee and Leon isn’t far behind her, and Dylan reveals his evil secret plan to unleash the Mosquitoes ro specifically kill people he wants to turn into zombies. Dylan infects Leon, but spares Jill from it. Dylan then teases her, talking about how he wants her to experience the same pain he felt during Raccoon City and he SPECIFICALLY teases her need to save innocent people by tRYING TO FORCE HER TO KILL CLAIRE AND SAVE DR TAYLOR and she’s getting flashbacks to when she was brainwashed by Wesker and was gonna kill everyone and UGH IT WAS SO GOOD JILLS TRAUMA IS ACTUALLY TALKED ABOUT but ofc Jill refuses (because they’re lesbian girlfriends and in love actually) so Dylan kills Dr Taylor and Claire’s heartstrings are ALSO played on when he thanks her for showing him mercy, and says that she is actually helping people and that she needs to keep doing what she’s doing ARGH IT WAS SO SWEET WAH. And the whole thing with Jill not killing Claire?????? Gay. Gay gay gay

T H E N Leon and Chris have this LONG HEART-TO-HEART WHILE SITTING BACK TO BACK about how the world is fucked, but Chris reassures Leon that they’re doing the right thing, and Leon says that they can’t save the world by killing it, and it’s SUCH a sweet wholesome call back to Leon’s state in Vendetta and he’s clearly doing a lot better now :))

THEN as Dr Taylor’s dying and Claire is having her own emotional scene, he asks them all how they’re staying so positive, and Leon responds;

“We’ve got Jill :)”

MY FRIEND AND I BOTH AUDIBLY WENT AAAAWWWWEEE THEYVE GOT JILL WHEN WE HEARD IT AGSBXYSNXHDHXH

Dylan then explains how he wants to force the group to experience the same pain of having to kill his best friend (gay lover) in Raccoon City like he did, and he specifically makes snide comments to Claire about how Terrasave just puts a bandage over the metaphorical wound and doesn’t actually help innocent people, how Leon just works for corrupt government officials- and Leon just replies with “Yeah just makin’ a livin’ out of it sarcastically while literally dying LEON YOU'RE SO GOOFY STOP BEING SO UNSERIOUS- and then Dylan goes off at Chris for how he throws his teammates into danger and how so many of them die and he still keeps going which OUCH?????? HELLO??? RIP PIERS AND ETHAN IG

Dylan ACTUALLY HAD GOOD POINTS and was a really compelling villain!!!!!! Like his motivations made sense!!!!!!!!!! His sense of vengeance and feeling that the group were a bunch of hypocrites was understandable and compelling!! Especially with his backstory in RC!!!!!!! IT WAS SO GOOD!!

Dylan also goes specifically teases them about how they’re all Pawns for their respective organisations, and hones in on Leon specifically about how he’s a weapon, and them all being ‘Pawns’ is repeated quite a bit throughout the beginning of the movie and the credits which makes me think that may come into play in the future more???? People have theorised that Leon being treated as a government weapon will come back as a plot point in a future game, but with Dylan making actually decent arguments about their respective organisations and the emphasis on all of them being pawns makes me wonder if it’s intentional and will be a big plot point in a future game or something

Also, Leon tries to ask how he’s connected to Glenn Arias, and Dylan just says he was “good friends with him” and that’s how Maria’s there?????? Ok random plot hole but whatever I’m gonna assume they were also gay lovers. Leon then throws a flash Grenade at Maria so Jill has time to escape and kick ass

Meanwhile, Rebecca gets a call from Hunnigan explaining what’s been going on and Rebecca picks up the vaccine and travels to Alcatraz with a squad, but they ALL somehow get killed by the big marine lickers?????? And Rebecca just,,, somehow survives???????? Again, my only negative with this movie is that AGAIN Rebecca has almost no role. I’m S O glad she was there so the whole gang could be in a movie together but it was like her role was reversed from Vendetta but not in a good way. She just,, randomly shows up to save the day, give them the virus, and do nothing else. Capcom WHY do you butcher my baby so badly WHY

Rebecca arrives with her vaccine and heals everybody in a very cute scene and Leon is immediately gone- like bro just teleports- and Chris, Claire and Rebecca have this little shot that screams “Besties…… attack !!!!!!!”

Then Leon runs into Maria, and it’s THAT SCENE. They have a fight and Maria is dodging around like she’s Albert Wesker or something and she CHOKES LEON WITH HER THIGHS AND LEON RESPONDS BY SHOVING HIS NOSE IN HER PUSSY. EVERYONES SEEN THAT SCENE and when she’s like “You killed my father. Prepare to die” he’s like “yeah well,,,,, your dad was kind of a dick” Leon said absolutely Z E R O serious lines in this movie. I genuinely think that all of his lines in this film had at least ONE quippy little quote it’s so good. Then he kills her by stabbing her with a pole lawl

Jill and Dylan then have a stand off at the main entrance, and Dylan does the callback to that reoccurring thing he’s been doing the whole movie where he points his own gun to his head, but this time he shouts himself and he falls into the water in slo-mo in a shot that’s actually really cool, and then a BIG MARINE LICKER CREATURE JUST COMES UP AND EATS HIM????? IT WAS SO GOOFY MY FRIEND AND I WERE LAIGHING SO HARD and then he turns INTO A GIANT FUCKING BOW.

AND IT LOOKS E X A C T L Y LIKE THAT MY HORSE PRINCE MOBILE GAME AD

He had this human face with these horse hoof hands and everytime there was a closeup of his weirdly human teeth I could help but shit myself laighing it was way too funny

Then the whole group gangs up together, and they have an avengers endgame moment where they all team up to take down the beast in a big group shot. Claire and Rebecca go back fo the lab to stop the mosquitoes from escaping, Leon rams a car into the beast, Jill and Chris run away and Chris says “that is one tough cookie” while handing Jill a giant bazooka to kill it with, and Leon hangs upside down from the ceiling like a monkey for a lil bit before leaping off of his car, then Jill and Claire get seperated cuz they get FLUNG ACROSS THE ROOM AND SOMEHOW SURVIVE and Leon teams up with Chris to make an EXTRA LARGE BAZOOKA THAT NEEDS TWO SETS OF HANDS AND THEYRE STANDING BACK TO BACK WHILE FIRING IT AND AGSGXHSSB SO GAY

Jill then distracts the beast by grabbing a lighter as a VERY obvious reference to Jurassic park and yells “COME HERE UGLY COME CATCH ME” and runs away for it to follow her, again, VERY obvious Jurassic park reference, while Leon drives a car with Chris and his GIANT BAZOOKA on top (that looks SUSPICIOUSLY like the one Carlos uses in re3) and Leon says “definitely going on vacation after this” WHILE YOU CAN J U S T BARELY SEE HIS TINY LIL HEAD OVER THE STEERING WHEEL AGSHDHSHDHXU and then JILL gets a GIANT ELECTRIC ROCKET LAUNCHED, A G A IN JUST LIKE IN RE3 (pleasently suprised by all the re3 and re2 references in this movie!!) and it’s not enough to kill it BUT it does fall into the water, dragging Jill in with it in this REALLY goofy scene where you can see a closeup of its teeth, and the gang shuts the Alcatraz doors on it to finally kill it. Rebecca and Claire even have this cute little high-five moment in the lab :)))

The movie ends with the gang all standing outside Alcatraz, watching as rescue helicopters come in, and Leon says “after this, I definitely hate prison tours” WHICH,, KING STOP BEING SO SILLY CHSNSJDN and Chris and Jill have this one last sweet moment where he says “I’m glad you’re back :)” and gives her a fist bump which made me CRY.

Also, completely forgot to mention, but when Dylan inevitably has to kill JJ, JJ first tries to pry his own gun to kill himself out of Dylan’s hands, but Dylan fights him back refusing to kill him until he fully turns into a zombie and Dylan has to SMASH HIS SKULL OPEN WITH HIS HEAVY MEDICAL BAG. IT IS S O BRUTAL OH MY G O D

My overall thoughts;

AMAZING. INCREDIBLE. BEST RE MOVIE EVER. DEFINITELY LIVED UP TO MY STANDARDS.

I’ve said this already but again, I wish Rebecca had a more active role. It felt exactly like what happened with her in Vendetta, but in reverse where she just randomly showed up to save everybody. She was barely in this movie for all the important bits

Also, again, the Redfield siblings kinda dissapeared during the middle of the movie but so does Leon I guess.

Jill was truly the star of this movie, it felt like it was her moment to shine and it was GREAT. She popped off like crazy and I couldn’t ask for any more

Also, as awesome and really cool as it was to see everyone’s traumas being directly addressed, it never gets resolved; Jill’s kinda does, as her final words to Dylan are “GET OVER IT” (referring to how he projects his issues onto everybody) and she has that neat fist bump with Chris (But I think they’re saving that fully fleshed out trauma exploration for a future game)

Again, Dylan was also really the star of the movie. He’s easily one of the best villains in RE, and his backstory in Raccoon City was SUCH a cool callback and a realistic motivation. All the references to the games was just cool in general. And he was SCARY, too. Like all the stuff with his guns and the threatening??? It was spooky!!!!

I do wish that this movie ended on a cliffanger and we got to see a sequel, though. I would’ve LOVED to see what would’ve happened if the mosquitoes got out and infected the BSAA, Terrasave and the Governemt like Dylan wanted (again, he actually had a good point in hating all those organisations)

Also, speaking of, the whole reoccurring thing of the gang being called ‘Pawns’ was REALLY interesting??? Like Leon was called the governments secret weapon a lot, Claire was often berated for being apart of Terrasave, etc etc, which makes me think that that might be an important plot point in a future game???? Like maybe they all realise their respective originations are also evil somehow and they’ve all been pawns in a big game????? I’m REALLY excited to see if that goes anywhere

Lastly, man, this movie lived up to its expectations with all the cool character interactions. Ranging from domestic to heartfelt to gay to awesome, it was so neat- Jill and Leon had amazing back-and-fourth chemistry that was SO FUNNY, Chris and Claire FINALLY had some screen time together, Jill + Claire and Leon + Chris had their own adorable gay moments, EVERYTHING with Chris and Jill was PERFECT, Rebecca absolutely teasing everybody and anybody in their little gang- chefs kiss. Mwuah. Couldn’t ask for anything better. Capcom PLEASE put all of your characters together like this again this movie was SO GOOD I LOVED seeing them all interact so much

Also, Dylan and JJ were absolutely gay lovers. That is a hill I will unironically die on

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melishade · 3 months

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The chapter was extraordinary and wonderful. You don't even know how happy I was when Ultra Magnus and Predaking appeared (after Megatron, my favorites from Tfp). However, I have one question. WHY DID REINER AND LARA DIE? Thanks to you, Lara became my 3rd favorite AoT character, and Reiner was always my favorite. That's why I wanted to know the reason why she killed them. Also, Knickout when Lara talks to Papa Megs

So there is a lot loaded in this post and I'll try to tackle it one by one, so bare with me. But for obvious reasons, spoilers ahead.

I mean...this is how I felt in the author's note of chapter 92:

Isayama: Reiner has become my favorite character. I don't have the courage to kill him off.

Me: The bitch can choke.

Considering how everything was set up in the finale of AOT, I really thought that Reiner was going to die. The fact that Reiner was able to survive fighting on the back of Eren's Founding Titan (which, by the way, the fact that no one in the alliance died after Hanji's sacrifice is nonsense in my opinion. Someone should have died then.), survive getting caught up in Armin's titan explosion, and then somehow fend off the giant centipede with an army of pure titans, is just lunacy. Dude was literally on his last HP points. He only survived because of favoritism and I stand by that.

In regards to Lara, my opinions on her is that she was extremely under-utilized both as a titan shifter and as a character. It was unfortunate that she lost her fight in the main show and was just killed off the moment she was introduced. So when writing her as a character, I wanted to write her as someone who was willing to fulfill the Tybur duty and get stronger as a War Hammer Titan, but also someone who was inexperienced in combat, so she needed to climb to the top and get better. And she would no doubt feel guilty for her lack of helping out those around her and being nothing more than a decorative guard. But her character comes full circle when she's actively helping out in the fight to prevent the Rumbling while also protecting people in the process. So I do believe with the way that I wrote Lara, she would finally live up to the Tybur name and help save the world at the expense of her own life.

I'm genuinely happy with how I wrote her. It was fun.

Oh yeah, picture this whole thing from Knockout's perspective? Optimus and your former boss are alive and working together to save a world of organics. Said former boss had somehow managed to build a bond with humans to the point where one of them wants to talk to Megatron in her final moments, and then Megatron is also saying 'thank you' and having Erwin vouch for him. Like KO needs a shit tone of high grade.

Also, I was listening to this when writing Lara's final stand cause I thought it fit.

youtube

When the music hits it's climax at 5:09 minute mark, that's when Lara unleashes everything she has to slow the Colossal Titans down.

(If you've read Guren No Yumiya, send me more asks. I'd be more than happy to answer them.)

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amourrs · 5 months

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Look. I don't disagree that age regression makes creeps me out. You know what else is weird and taboo? Like. All kinks.

Age regression. Dad's best friend.

And, of course, some people would argue that lesbian and gay fics are too taboo to have in writing. They encourage people to live a life of sin. And everyone knows gay people are secretly pedos.

I don't believe that. But there are people who genuinely do. Policing content, especially fictional content, will almost always get down to that too. Because it's controversial. It's political, it's charged. And you can argue "its not the same" but it is to them.

Because the argument they go for is "protecting the kids."

That's not getting into the argument of something being fictional, either. That's a whole other thing to argue about- and it is something I think you should really think about, too. Often people use fictional settings and writings to explore bad things in a safe way. That doesn't mean they're going to do bad things. If I write about murder, am I promoting murder? If Joel kills a guy in cold blood in my fic, does that mean I should be held responsible for someone else committing murder after reading my fic? Does that mean I believe murder is okay?

There have been arguments about what is "appropriate" in fiction for a very, very long time. You're young. You don't know the nuance behind these arguments and their histories. But it is there, and it is a long, storied fight. I really recommend actually thinking about the histories and arguments and looking into it.

Anyway, yeah, ban books in schools. They have things I find objectionable that I think children shouldn't be exposed to because it could hurt them. The government should get to say what books are allowed to be written and everything else should be burned, etc. Lolita has no historical or cultural significance and is just a bad bad book by a bad bad man.

P.s. you can't enter an adult space and cry about adults interacting with you. You came to their space, bud. If you don't want to interact with adults, you should stay in child spaces. And, if you are 18, you ARE and adult.

first of all, thank you for being RESPECTFUL and an adult with your opinions. there is something to be said about the fact that many people’s first response is to tell me to choke or die and then call me the immature one. like ok. get a life.

age regression as far as i’m aware is not a sexual thing. it is a trauma response. as to dad’s best friend, i really have no problem with that one, although i do find some of these fics where the character has known reader since they were literally born to be distasteful. and as for the gay thing- totally irrelevant to my point i fear, and it’s NOT the same because gay people don’t sexualise child-like behaviour.

as an english literature student, i abhor the fact you brought lolita up whatsoever. nabokov was very much against pedophilia and wrote lolita as a cultural criticism on the matter- to refer to him as a bad bad man even jokingly makes me feel as if you’ve never read lolita at all 😭. i have NEVER said to ban books in schools. I’ve said i wish grown adults would stop acting as if sexualising child-like actions is a safe kink because it normalises something very scary and real that happens to many children. i do in fact know about these nuanced arguments- i study them every day. no amount of nuance is going to make me defend reader baby talking whilst joel calls her “kid” and she calls him “dad”. what other implications am i supposed to pick up from that except the very obvious ones?

i truly don’t care about adults of any age interacting with me. however, adults in their thirties making (often nasty) subposts about me when they are closer in age to my mum than me does rub me the wrong way- i feel like maybe if they think i’m SO young and immature they should leave me alone/not set all their other friends on me or say things about how me and other people my age should “choke”. but then again that’s just me. at the end of the day i live in peace knowing that i live in a free country where i can share my opinion and i clearly did it without telling anyone to die, so who’s really the immature party here?

#ask #thank you for being respectful 🩷#long post

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bohemian-nights · 1 year

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Sorry if I derailed your post about Nettles I tend to be in a minority opinion about every possible ship-I’ve never even seen my personal take on Alyssmond. I do think that Daemon is fascinated by Nettles and is infatuated with her I just don’t think that he’s capable of loving her or anyone really. Maybe Viserys or Laena in the book. I realize that many people think Daemon is hot stuff but I just don’t get the appeal

No, you didn't derail since it was on topic. Yeah, I get having a problem with the ships of HOTD or not exactly shipping them completely. As far as Nettles and Daemon go I wouldn’t say that your opinion is a minority opinion. Most people in the fandom don’t believe that Daemon actually loved her.

They think he either used her for a good time, he groomed her, or she is somehow his child(adopted or biological which is weird because fathers don’t bathe with their grown daughters, but this fandom is weird and moronic at best). So the opinion that Daemon loves and legitimately cares for Nettles with no ulterior motive is actually the minority opinion.

The general consensus before the show was that he loved Laena the most out of all of his wives(her death scene is very touching in the book).

However, after they partially race-bent Laena, the people behind HOTD proceeded to crap all over her character and her importance to Daemon which gave Daemyra stans(who were also next to nonexistent before the show) the go-ahead to say Rhaenyra was the love of Daemons life despite choke gate and the lack of supporting evidence from the book🙃

Now as far as the Daemon being incapable of loving anyone besides Viserys and Laena in the books(and I guess because he never physically assaulted her she’s still technically his most beloved wife in the show) this is where I disagree with the majority of the fandom.

Daemon did love Nettles. I say this because when push came to shove and he would have defended her life at the expense of his own:

Daemon did not have to save her seeing how the orders in Rhaenyra’s letter only pertained to Nettles.

He could’ve easily told Maester Norren to call in the goons and do with Nettles as they wished. She’s a poor penniless girl. Her head is wanted by the queen, his wife. No one is going to miss her, and you said it yourself, Daemon is not a benevolent guy.

He has ordered the murder of a literal child who was his great-nephew. He murdered his second wife’s uncle in the books despite his love for her.

He could’ve abandoned Nettles the moment she became an inconvenience, but he chose to draw his sword and possibly facedown all of Lord Moonton’s men rather than abandon her to the wolves.

Of course you can counter and say that “well Nettles wouldn’t be in this situation if Daemon hadn’t slept with her in the first place so of course he spared her,” but a. You would be taking away her own agency(because despite what this fandom says according to GRRM she’s a grown woman) and b. Once again Daemon would not just save someone at the expense of his own life when he gain’s absolutely nothing from it.

Lastly, even the people at Maidenpool(Lord Moonton’s brother) make note of how much Daemon cares about her:

Not to mention Caraxes, who shares an emotional bond with Daemon, screams, when Nettles departs from him:

So going against fandom consensus, based on all the evidence, I do believe that Daemon genuinely loved Nettles. For that reason, while yes Nettles could do better, she is with a man who loves her to the point where he would lay down his life so that she can live.

I do have my theories on why people(not necessarily you because you yourself said that you have unpopular opinions on multiple ships) are so reluctant to admit that Daemon loved Nettles, but at this point, I feel like I’m repeating myself.

I’ll just end this by saying that it’s due to the fact that Daemon leaves their (white) Valyrian queen for a “lowly” Black woman. Aka misogynoir(anti-Black racism + sexism directed at Black women) once again rearing its ugly head.

I'd really like to say it's more complex than that, but this is the same fandom where you have people throwing a fit over Nettles being in the show:

Upset that she's being aged up because they wanted to see her being raped and groomed:

Upset that she's wearing a dress(if the woman in the blurry photo is her):

People are already calling her ugly even though we can barely see her face:

And even upset that people like Nettles in the first place:

This treatment happens a lot in fandoms when there are Black women involved with a male fave or even when she deigns to exists and be an actual character. By a lot, I mean every single time., Most recently with The Bear, but also with other media like Marvel, Sleepy Hollow, and Star Trek.

Stitches blog is a goldmine on fandom misogynoir so I’d highly suggest everyone check it out.

With Black women characters it’s always “They could do better” or “They don't need a romantic arc” if they can’t use the first excuse.

When you say these statements you are venturing into putting Black women back into a very narrow box of characterization that limits her because in shows, movies, books, etc. Black women traditionally are rarely positioned as the love interest. Not to mention how often times these statements are made by the very same people who ship white couples with the same dynamics as the ship with a Black woman

Case in point, I had someone get mad at me for shipping Shuri and Namor(from Black Panther), not because Namor kills Shuri’s mother Queen Ramonda, but because Namor, who is 500 years old and basically immortal, is “too old” for Shuri who is only in her early 20s:

They said this to me even though they shipped TenRose, a Doctor Who ship where the 10th Doctor is 900(sorta immortal) to Roses 19 🙃:

Are Daemon and Nettles perfect? No, but it's a nice change to see a Black woman in media being cared for which is why I find it irritating when people try to deny Nettles a full story arc and instead want to make her into Rhaenyra’s sidekick/sexless pet.

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celestialsun123 · 5 months

Text

Okay, tumblr is my ‘safe space’ other than my room, so I’m going to talk and anyone who wants to can listen. Aka all the stuff I’m gonna say will take up a lot of room so take a look under the ‘keep reading’ if you care enough to lol

There are a couple of JIC trigger warnings: mentions of church/religious settings (not talked about in a negative way), doctors, uhh there’s a time where I talk about someone yelling at me?

without further ado, here's my vent for the day.

I stress out so much over liking anything posted by autistic people. I’m so sorry, I have literally nothing against you, I just freak out for no reason cause once I heard someone on YouTube say ‘if you aren’t autistic your opinion is completely invalid here’ and I’ve taken it to heart 🥲

I will go to like a post but then go ‘wait… that explicitly says it’s about autistic people/autism… I can’t! I don’t count!’ (And I am so salty about stuff like that cause I’ve thought to myself ‘well what if I’m agreeing about something that they approve of?’ But it still isn’t enough to justify it to myself.) (again, I HAVE NOTHING AGAINST Y'ALL)

I was considering asking my doctor if I should get evaluated for stuff but I also really don’t want to because what if they just say ‘nope, you’re normal. Why’d you even bother?’ And I KNOW I’m not neurotypical because I have GAD (Generalized Anxiety Disorder) and there is no WAY it’s normal to feel like your entire day has been completely and utterly ruined by someone not telling you clearly that if you didn’t go eat the leftovers of your family that you wanted, it’d be passed on to the others.

Oops, that’s not where that was meant to go, but I’m keeping it.

My original point BEING, I have a feeling I don’t JUST have GAD, I wanna get evaluated for Autism and ADHD, but the imposter syndrome (can I even use that here? I’m not autistic so does that mean it’s… rejection or something?) is too much and I’m gonna wimp out of bringing it up to the doctors. I’m fairly certain I have ADHD tho, cause everything I’ve watched I’ve basically agreed with. (And yeah, the internet isn’t good source material, but there are some good people on there.)

Also I'm so worried that I'm just copying people. Like, I didn't used to stim until AFTER I learned about autism and ADHD, so what's to say that I'm not just copy pasting? And that's not genuine and it's probably also rude.

Oh and on the topic of being too sensitive for my own good, let’s talk about how I deal with people scolding me. (Other than my parents.)

I genuine want to cry any time it happens. I had some pretty bad experiences of that kind of thing (maybe like 3-4 years ago?) and they happen to be some of the only clear memories I have of pandemic times cause everything kinda blurs together from that time. The clearest one and the one that affected (is that the right one?) me the most was when some of the neighborhood kids got in trouble for hurting each other from a tree in my sibling’s best friend’s yard. I was a witness, but I wasn’t paying a ton of attention to the situation. The sibling’s best friend’s mom asked me to tell my version of the story, so I did. I tried my best not to twist anything and to make it clear that I wasn’t sure about anything. Without me noticing (cause my back was turned) one of the kids mom’s (the one who had done the potential hurting) came up behind us and started yelling at me for ‘lying for no reason’ and ‘being rude’ and how ‘her kid would never do anything wrong, so if I wanted to go tell lies for fun she would go and tell my parents.’ Y’know, the kind of thing you tell semi-kids.

So from then on, I tend to have to choke back tears when not my parents scold me.

Another time (this week actually) was when I was scolded for acting my age at church. Now, I’m not a CHILD, so I see where the person was coming from. But I was also having fun with my friends. We were joking around, and one of the old people came up and scolded us. I thought I was fine till I got home and then realized that stimming in any way, even in my room, now felt childish and horrible and like I shouldn’t be doing it. (I’ve gotten over this, I’m back to normal. Ish.)

So yeah. I guess I take things too seriously? And it REALLY frustrates me. Like I can’t just let things go, can I? No, cause that’d be EASY.

Also, don’t you just hate it when you feel the urge to stim (hand flapping specifically in this case) but your muscles/wrist is in pain for no explicable reason?

#personal vent #people can be so harsh #but then again maybe I’m being too sensitive #anxiety #generalized anxiety disorder #well… maybe I’m not sensitive maybe I’m just anxious

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writingsbychlo · 1 year

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There are theories that Mor and Azriel are mates, but since she prefers females nothing ever happened (because of how protective he gets, for example when he choked Eris) and that Elain & Azriel have mates, however, end up choosing each other./forbidden romance. What do you think of this theory? I like Elain, but I don’t want her with Az. I prefer Elucien (I feel like since Elain is a seer, gifted with sight, her powers are connected with Lucien since his dad is Helion, who SJM based on Greek god Helion, who is the god of sight) and I just don’t like the three sisters for three brothers. It feels to predictable. I kind of feel like Azriel is someone who self sabotages. He crushes on Mor for 500 knowing he can’t have her and I’m sure his shadows can pick up on feelings and emotions, so wouldn’t he be able to sense that Mor genuinely wasn’t interested in him romantically? I like Azriel and Gwyn, but some people think she might be evil since his shadows play with her. People bring up that his shadows hide from Elain and they do with Mor as well, so they’re meant to be together. I really want Elain and Lucien together. I just don’t like the idea of Elriel. What do you personally think? Do you think Azriel purposely self sabotages/goes after ladies he knows he can’t or won’t be able to have? I’m sorry if I cause any trouble, I don’t mean to!💜

you didn't cause any trouble, and I'm not afraid to say with my whole fucking chest that I HATE ELRIEL. everyone is entitled to their own choices and ships and whatnot but there's not one single az/elain idea or theory or trope that could make me like it.

breakdown below the cut because the elriel stans out there don't deserve to have their day ruined by my lil opinion lol. however, don't open it if you're curious but stan elriel because it'll just make you mad.

I like elain with lucien, I think they'd be perfect for one another. elain has always been caged and babied by her sisters for being a soft girl, she needs some freedom. she's proven she's not some breakable little object, she deserves to have a life of her own. she deserves to be free from that cage and to see the world. lucien can take her to do that, he's a courtier, he has friends all over and would be such a good guide. lucien deserves some light in his life, he's spent his whole life stuck and fighting, he and elain could just be happy together.

az and gywn is okay. if it was between gywn and elain, my obvious choice is gwyn. solidly, I am still waiting for a love interest for him other than eris that actually viable and matches him so perfectly.

anyways.

elriel makes me sick for numerous reasons. first of all, it's toxic. that whole "the girl who never got to choose and the boy who never got picked" thing. ew. ew ew ew. azriel would spend his entire life then feeling like he was constantly having to keep on proving he was good enough to be picked, and he's already fragile enough like that as it is. elain would end up feeling stuck, like she just chose the first person who as there, and they'd end up hating one another anyway.

also, azriel treats every other woman like a strong, powerful warrior. he treats elain like she needs sheltering and protection. he canon does this, all the way through ACOSF. he treats her like a child. let's just leave that there.

next, as you said, his shadows hide from her. a part of himself, the darkness he used to survive won't go near her. how could he bear any part of his soul to her when the most obvious part won't even be shown? he'd never be able to truly be himself. gwyn has her own troubles, her own trauma, and they'd heal together.

also, three sisters for three brothers is sickening. the elriel ship makes azriel into some toxic man who feels like he's entitled to women? if they got together based on that philosophy it would quite literally undo every single part of his character development. attacking for mor's honour? "be careful how you speak about my high lady"? "you just passed the blood rite qualifier"? all that peak feminism undone because suddenly azriel feels like he's owed some pussy. no fucking way.

lastly, if elain didn't end up with lucien, what's the fucking point of the mating bond being there anyway? it's served NO plot point so far unless they end up being mates. the whole "maybe the cauldron made a mistake" thing could have happened without it. az could have just been "maybe the bond just hasn't snapped yet". like? if they don't end up together, it's just a useless plot thread? sarah don't do that to us.

now, onto this whole mor and az thing. personally, I don't see it. I can understand where that has come from, but I don't see it. I just don't think they're at all equal or alike, and considering the other mating pairs and their similarities, it wouldn't make sense. basically, I just don't think so. I think he just hyper fixated because deep down he knows he can never have her and always goes for unattainable love because he's always felt like love was just outside of his reach. he's always wanted it and never had it (childhood trauma, not cass and rhys), and so he's permanently looking for where he can't have love, not where he can.

so, yeah, that's my breakdown, lol.

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babyboibucky · 3 years

Text

The Match - Part 9

Pairing: CEO!Bucky x Fem!Reader

Summary: Bucky brings you and Mackenzie with him to an important meeting.

Word Count: 3.3k

Warnings: Uhhhh hmm work tension, sexual tension, idk Bucky and Mackenzie being annoying as usual lmao

A/N: ALSO I know I haven’t mentioned what the fuck Bucky’s company is all about because c’mon, I didn’t expect I’d get this far lmao so IDK there might be continuity issues or inaccuracies or whatevah, just ignore it lmao it’s fiction. ANYWAAAY, I just want to say how GRATEFUL AND OVERWHELMED I am with the amount of attention that this series is getting. I appreciate every feedback, every ask and every freaking debate about this shit lmfao. I love you guys. I can’t put into words how much I appreciate you all askcnasjkcnak bye

The Match Masterlist || MAIN MASTERLIST

Don't let Bucky or Mackenzie get to you.

Mark's advice rang in your ears like a chant as you watched Bucky and Mackenzie's exchange about the project. Joining them in the conference room for a major brainstorming session was you and a couple of people from your team with Beverly taking down the minutes of the meeting.

The upcoming project was a huge one, given that Barnes Group of Companies was a huge name in the automobile industry. Meanwhile, Wilson Enterprises is one of the biggest autonomous vehicle technology companies out there. This partnership was one for the books, possibly an industry changer too.

You wanted to be a part of it, wanted to spearhead the entire thing and watching Mackenzie take the reigns on this one was truly making your blood boil.

"That sounds like a nice idea, Kenzie." Bucky praised, nodding his head.

Mackenzie shrugged, "It's what I do, Buck." she said.

"Yeah, it's a great idea. I do have some comments though, if you don't mind?" you asked.

Bucky and Mackenzie exchanged glances before turning to you. You glanced at Bucky for a quick second before ignoring the way he was eyeing you with genuine interest.

"I know that bringing in a celebrity to endorse this brand new model would definitely create noise around the partnership. Although I think that would take the spotlight away from the actual product we're creating here. We want customers to focus on the brand new car model and the technology that Wilson Enterprises will be providing it with, not on the celebrity endorser." you explained.

Mackenzie hummed, "I get where you are coming from. That's a good point, actually. But a celebrity endorser will pretty much do everything for the brand. Have him up on billboards and different advertisements and you're all set." she further explained.

You chuckled, "But then how will people understand what the entire partnership is all about? Aren't we supposed to be communicating a certain message to our consumers? Wouldn't it be better to hold an event to launch the product instead? Invite the press and key opinion leaders to spread the word. Have Bucky and Mister Wilson talk about this partnership. They're famous and powerful enough to get the message across. Why waste the budget on a celebrity when we literally have everything we need to make noise?" you shrugged.

The entire room was silent after your feedback, even Mackenzie wasn't able to respond to your suggestion. Glancing over at Bucky, you saw that he was giving you the look-- the one with half-lidded eyes matched with a head tilt, the one that often resulted to him giving you a very nice reward once office hours are over.

Feeling your breath hitch in your throat, you quickly looked away and shrugged your shoulders, "I mean, that's just my two cents. Having worked here for years, I just based it on my experience. You're the expert here, Mackenzie." you offered a proud smile.

Mackenzie tried to brush it off and turned to Bucky, "What do you think, Buck? I'm still into the idea of hiring a celebrity. That's good publicity. And let's not get worried about the budget now," she said, placing a hand on top of Bucky's that was resting on the table, "I have a lot of connections so I can definitely get an endorser for a much lower rate." she reassured.

"We may have a huge budget for this, but that doesn't automatically mean that we have to use it all up. We can allocate it somewhere else, maybe start a CSR campaign as well? We are, after all, coming out with an environmental-friendly model." you suggested.

You heard Bucky when he took a sharp inhale, bringing his hands up to rub his lips as if in deep thought. He then turned to Beverly, however, his eyes remained on you.

"Take note of everything she says." he reminded her before standing up.

He asked everyone else in the room of their opinions, whether it was your or Mackenzie's idea that the company will go for. The team was divided in half, some of them preferring Mackenzie's celebrity pitch probably because they didn't want to do a lot of work.

Bucky nodded, "Well, I guess we'll have to discuss both ideas with my partner Sam and let's see where we will go from there. I have a meeting with him this afternoon, I need you and Kenzie with me there." he said, looking at your before turning to Kenzie with a charming smile.

Don't let them get to you.

You've never wanted for the ground to swallow you up until this moment as you stood behind Bucky and Mackenzie in the elevator. This felt so much more uncomfortable than when you shared it with Bucky after swiping right with him on Tinder. There was still tension and it felt so much worse now because you didn't know whether it was between you and Bucky or him and Mackenzie.

Fucking Mackenzie and her nicely manicured nails which always seemed find its way around Bucky's arm. You eyed her hands as they squeezed his arm, the both of them talking in hushed voices as if you weren't standing behind them.

"I've been dying to try this restaurant, I heard they serve good food. Do you want to go have dinner there sometime this week?" she asked Bucky.

"I'll check my schedule, which restaurant is this?" he asked.

When Mackenzie uttered the name of that restaurant where you celebrated your promotion, you and Bucky choked on your own spits at the same time. Warmth crept up to your cheeks at the same time Bucky's ears reddened.

"Oh, what's going on?" Mackenzie asked with a nervous chuckle as she looked at you and Bucky, struggling with your coughs.

You recovered first and shook your head, "Sorry, I get allergies. Anyway, I've been to that restaurant. They do serve good food, the staff was very hospitable as well. I'm sure Bucky would enjoy it there." you said with a smile, pushing your way past them when the elevators door slid open.

Mackenzie asking Bucky whether he was up for dinner was the last thing you heard. Good luck explaining to her why he's banned from there, you thought to yourself.

Bucky led the way to his car and it instantly brought certain memories back. You weren't going to lie, you missed the fucking and how Bucky always made sure to take care of your needs. Seeing his car was enough to make your thighs clench at the memory of him fingering you as he drove.

His gaze was on you when he opened the door to the passenger's seat, his eyes inviting as you approached him. And just as when you were about to slip in, he turned over to Mackenzie and gestured for her to get in.

What a fucking asshole, you thought to yourself as you took a step back to ride in the back instead. You tried to keep your expression stoic when you saw that Bucky checked for a reaction. He seemed perplexed when he saw that you didn't react that much to what he did.

One hundred points to Gryffindor.

The location for the meeting was at a nearby restaurant so you didn't suffer that much during the entire ride. Mackenzie was busy with her phone anyway, typing out messages with those manicured fingers you were beginning to hate.

By the time all three of you arrived, Sam was already there. He donned a navy blue suit and he was rocking it. You'd seen his photos on the internet and knew that he was good-looking, but seeing him in the flesh, you were stunned at how gorgeous he was. Sam stood up when he saw Bucky, offering a kind smile to you and Mackenzie.

You weren't sure whether you were just being assuming or what, but you noticed how his eyes lingered on you longer that it did with Mackenzie.

"Sam." Bucky greeted, shaking his hand before introducing you and Mackenzie.

Sam shook Mackenzie's hand first before he turned to you. You took his hand and introduced yourself, "Mister Wilson." you said.

"Please, just Sam." he told you as he gently squeezed your hand before letting go.

"Have a seat." Sam said to Bucky and Mackenzie before pulling out the chair next to him, motioning for you to sit down.

You thanked him and sat down; straightening up, you were met with Bucky's watchful gaze as he sat down across you. Your attention was taken away when Sam asked what you wanted to order, he even suggested a certain dish and immediately went to discuss that it was his favorite thing to order.

This was going to be an interesting meeting.

And interesting it truly was, because you didn't expect for Sam to be so laid-back and easy to communicate with. He wasn't one of those uptight CEOs who were very intimidating to work with. Simply put, he was the complete opposite of Bucky. While Bucky was ice cold, Sam was sunshine and warmth with his attitude.

When it came down to pitching your and Mackenzie's ideas to him, you suddenly got nervous. Sam wasn't born with a silver spoon in his mouth; from what you've read, he started off working regular jobs before he climbed his way to the top. He was a self-made man and he had extensive knowledge in the marketing industry, having a doctorate degree in the said area.

Mackenzie was the first to discuss her strategy about hiring a celebrity endorser. She said it was fast and straight to the point. When it was your turn, you started off a bit shaky but eventually found your pacing.

"We wanted to ask you how this should go on about. I know that the offer for a partnership came from our end and that we're supposed to pitch the details for it. But we wanted you to be involved in this as much as we are." Bucky further explained.

Sam nodded and let out an amused chuckle, "I really appreciate this, Buck. I was going to ask you if I can contribute with the planning as well. I'm very particular when it comes to marketing our products." he said.

"That being said, I loved both ideas. I think hiring a celebrity endorser is good." he said, making Mackenzie smile proudly.

"But I would rather hold an event to launch the product. You understand the product and what we want to do with it. It's not just a brand new car, it's an innovation and the messaging is very important. I'm very impressed." Sam said, his attention geared towards you.

"Wow, I'm honored." you laughed. "Coming from you, I mean I've read about the marketing studies you did. Pretty big deal to receive a compliment from you." you admitted.

It was meant to be a genuine reaction, really. You had no ill intentions for it, you didn't do it to make Bucky jealous or get the upper hand. However, your passion for your career and area of expertise seemed to favor you. It had Bucky on edge, seeing you and Sam get along so well.

You didn't even need to check for Bucky's reaction because he simply cleared his throat and excused himself to go to the restroom. Mackenzie seemed unbothered though, when Sam favored your pitch over hers. You couldn't read her, sometimes she'd come off competitive but right now, she was unaffected.

When Bucky got back, he was quick to finalize the meeting, "I guess it's a done deal then. We'll work on the details of the launch and maybe we can set another meeting for the major presentation for your approval?" he asked Sam.

"That sounds like a plan. I'm looking forward to working with you." Sam told everyone, although he did seem to be directly addressing you.

"Alright, I'm leaving too." Mackenzie announced after Sam left the restaurant.

"Oh, you're not heading back to the office with us?" Bucky asked.

Mackenzie shook her head, throwing her bag over her shoulder, "I have another meeting. You know how it is with freelance work." she said as all three of you stood up to head outside of the restaurant.

"My Uber's here, I guess I'll see you both sometime this week." she said and waved at you before turning to Bucky and pressing a kiss on his cheek.

"I'm counting on that dinner, okay?" she reminded before slipping into her Uber, leaving you and Bucky to head back to the office together.

Alone with Bucky. In his car. The exact same car where plenty of fucking happened. Again, you chanted Mark’s advice in your head over and over again.

Don’t let Bucky get to you. And most of all, don’t cave in.

You quickly slipped inside the front seat of Bucky’s car before he could even open it up for you. The air was thick between you and Bucky and it almost felt like it was suffocating you. Reaching for the seatbelt, you tugged at it but it wouldn’t budge. Cursing to yourself, you tried again but to no avail.

“What’s wrong?” Bucky asked.

“Nothing. Seatbelt’s just stuck.” you grunted, using both your hands to pull down at it.

“Here, let me.”

Suddenly, Bucky reached over to your seatbelt and tried to fix it. His face was inches away from yours and you literally felt your insides jump at how you were immediately drowned in his perfume. If you moved forward so much as half an inch, your lips would already be pressing against the corner of Bucky’s mouth. And that thought was sending your senses into overdrive.

Do not. Cave. In.

The loud click of the seatbelt made you relax and thank goodness that Bucky was quick to move away from you, fixing his suit before starting the engine. The office may just be nearby but the fact that you and Bucky were together was making it feel like it was going to be an hour-long drive.

“So what do you think about Sam?” Bucky asked out of the blue.

He was gauging you, trying to get a reaction from you. Maybe he was expecting you to be flirty with your response, or be defensive even? You weren’t going to give him that.

“I think he’s great. Like I said, I’ve read his marketing studies and they were very insightful. I learned a lot.”

Plain, simple and safe. There was no hidden meanings and no malice; you were doing great at this whole not letting Bucky get to you thing. You made a mental note to thank Mark for his advice.

“He seems interested in you.” Bucky said again, shrugging his shoulders a bit and trying to be as nonchalant as he could.

“Well we are in the same field of expertise and I was very straightforward about admiring his skills. I’d be disappointed if he brushed off my ideas.” you slightly chuckled.

“I liked Mackenzie’s idea better, honestly.” Bucky blurted out.

By this time, you had Bucky’s plans figured out. He was coming for your job, using it as a bait to get a reaction out from you. He knew how much your career meant for you, how competitive you were in your field. Whenever his other tactics wouldn’t work, he’d always go for the career aspect.

“It was good.” you agreed, turning to Bucky with a small smile. “I think we can do that for other campaigns. Just not with this partnership. I like her.” you said.

“You do?” Bucky asked in surprise before he cleared his throat upon realizing that he sort of broke his facade.

You shrugged, “She’s a headstrong woman. She reminds me of myself actually.”

If you were alone, you would have given yourself a high-five because that statement truly made Bucky think. His forehead creased as he drove, his hand rubbing his chin and his jaw clenching as if he was in deep thought.

It was silent inside the car for a brief moment, before it was interrupted by the trilling of Bucky’s phone. He fished it out of his pocket but before he could even answer it, it slipped out of his hand and disappeared beneath his seat.

“Fuck.” Bucky cursed, both his hands on the steering wheel as he continued to drive, his attention divided between driving and searching for his ringing phone.

“Shit.” he hissed again, not knowing how to get his phone while driving. He quickly glanced at you before focusing on the road again. “Baby, can you get it for me?”

You almost missed the term of endearment. Almost. It was obviously a slip of the tongue because he genuinely didn’t seem to realize that he called you that. Bucky was more focused on the road rather than processing what he just said. You chose to ignore it the same way you did to the butterflies that erupted in your stomach.

“Yeah, okay.” you said and reached over to him, bending down to look for his phone.

In a split second, your face was right in front of Bucky’s crotch as you tried to reach beneath his car seat. You tried to ignore the bulge that was staring right at you and let your hand do the searching.

“Can you reach it?” Bucky asked.

You straightened up, “No. Can you pull aside?” you asked.

Bucky checked the surroundings and then the rearview mirror, “We can’t. We’re at a no loading and unloading zone.” he explained.

The phone continues to trill and it doesn’t seem like it would stop any time now. You sighed and removed your seatbelt before stretching your body over Bucky, slipping underneath his arms on the steering wheel so you can fully reach under his seat.

From another car’s view, you looked like you were giving him a blowjob. Not that you haven’t done that before, in this same car.

Finally, you felt his phone at the tip of your fingers and stretched further, your free hand coming to grip Bucky’s thigh unintentionally. It was only when you felt his muscles flex beneath his trousers that you realized how near your hand was to his crotch.

“Did you,” Bucky cleared his throat. “Did you get it?” he stammered.

You still have a certain effect on him, how very nice. Biting back a smirk, you hummed in response before pulling back and then handing him his phone casually. Mackenzie’s name was flashing on the screen as the phone continued to ring.

“Sorry, can you answer it and put it on speakerphone?” Bucky asked again.

You shrugged and did as you were told, holding the phone near Bucky as he continued to drive.

“Hey, Kenzie. Sorry, I dropped my phone. What’s up?” Bucky asked.

“Yeah, so my meeting got cancelled at the last minute. I was thinking maybe we can grab that dinner tonight instead?”

Bucky stole a quick glance from you but your face remained stoic, your hand steady as you held out his phone.

“Sure, how does around 7pm sound? I can pick you up.” Bucky offered.

“Sounds great. So are we checking that restaurant I was talking about?”

Bucky’s ears turned red again but he quickly recovered, “I was thinking of trying out a different one. I honestly didn’t like their dessert.”

Huh, that was weird. You and Bucky didn’t even make it to--

Fuck, he was talking about you, you realized. Clenching your jaw, you tried to keep calm. He was trying to get a rise out of you, don’t give in. Don’t react. Bucky’s conversation with Mackenzie didn’t last long and ended when they settled the location for their dinner.

The ride back to the office was quiet again, until your phone lit up from a notification. Bucky was already parking in the basement when you checked your phone, an audible gasp slipping past your lips upon reading the notification from LinkedIn.

Samuel Wilson wants to connect with you.

The Match Special Tags:

@marvelslag @weird-mumbling @propertyofpoeandbucky @lostinthoughtsandfeelings @mostly-marvel-musings @squishybabies @megzdoodle @suchababie @annathesillyfriend @xhollycowx @sweetkingdomstarlight-blog @5-seconds-of-mendes @gogolucky13 @countonthesun @iloveshawnieboi @learisa @borikenlove @scarlet-natasha89

Everything Bucky Tag List:

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#bbb writes #the match #bucky barnes #bucky #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky x reader #bucky x you #fem!reader #bucky barnes smut #bucky smut #sebastian stan

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holyshit · 2 years

Note

Hiii! I know you’re doing a live listen rn so i thought I’d send you some of my opinions!

Cinema: i love this so much! the reference to her is the song being called cinema. honestly at the end of the day i don’t care if people make it about her, its a love song with a funky beat and i really love it.

Daydream: this song is literally about wanting to be with someone as long as you can so that when you have to be away from them you can dream about them. There’s one lyric that goes ‘she said love me like you pay me/you know I’ll be gone for so long/so give me all of your love give me something to dream about’ which caught me off guard when i first heard it, but again its an amazing song(thats gonna be a theme here), i love the backing vocals on this song as well

Daylight: this song is giving Zayn’s third album vibes. There are a lot of references to blue in this song, bluebird, blue bicycle.. do with that what you will. There’s also a lovely reference to doing coke in his kitchen, which took me off guard. The main vibe of this song is that he can only see the person he’s talking about under the cover of darkness, so he’s cursing the daylight. At the end of the song he says ‘daylight, you got me calling at all times’ sort of like he loves this person so much he doesn’t want to stay hidden, he wants to be with them at all times. Again love the song-potentially one of my favourites.

Grape Juice: I’m not gonna lie, i could barely understand him in this one, but the gist of it is him proclaiming his love for a bottle of wine. genuinely. he talks about not being able to get through without a bottle of rouge (1982). It cracked me up the first time i listened to it, just because of how out there it is, but i feel like its got a deeper meaning. Again loved it, but not one of my favourites.

Keep Driving: this one is quite summery, but it kind of talks about the highs and lows of a relationship and choosing to continue ‘we’ve held darkness/we’ve held clouds’ ‘should we keep on driving’ also more references to drugs and multiple references to a girl ‘side boob’ ‘choke her/choker with a sea view’. However it also says ‘I will always love you’ which isn’t a sentiment you would expect from a man with supposedly multiple short relationships. It’s more a sentiment you would expect after multiple years. Again one of my favourites.

Little Freak: this song made me cry. Lots of blue green references. ‘Stay green a little while/you bring blue lights to dreams’ its a very dreamy song, talking about paranoia, not being enough for someone but still loving them from afar. Wondering about what they’re doing constantly, hoping to see them soon. It’s honestly such a sad, dreamy song about being so in love with someone. Talks about falling too hard and too fast and potentially hurting the person you love. It’s honestly a beautiful song. Potentially my favourite.

Love of my Life: this is the song ‘a familiar soundtrack played in reverse’ is about. The music is from the Harry’s house announcement video played backwards. Also made me cry. Big reference to a hidden relationship ‘take you with me every time i go away/in a hotel using someone else’s name’. talks about falling in love and knowing that someone is the only one for you. Also talks about having to leave someone behind and not always knowing where they are so having to love them from afar.

Mathilde: about someone being treated wrong, trying to fly without the right resources, but trying and trying again and smiling like ‘its no big deal’. Talks about ‘mathilde’ talking about pain like its all okay, but harry knowing that a piece of them is dead inside. Mathilde is referenced having a power to bring sun to the darkest days. He says ‘anywhere you go, you don’t need a reason, cause they never showed you love, you don’t have to be sorry for doing it on your known’ which made me cry. The main aspect of the song is family and others not supporting this person, and harry is trying to reassure them that they can let it go and they don’t have to feel guilty. This is such a deep song, talking about longing, guilt and love and honestly its beautiful. Definitely in my top 3.

Music for a sushi restaurant: i love this song! It’s so different to anything else we usually here from him. It’s the type of beat that has you dancing! And the backing is amazing. Lots of trumpets. It’s very jazzy and just about being with someone you love. Honestly one of the best songs on the album.

Satellite: about communication, knowing you want this person and they’ll pull you in but needing to talk to them. Talks about going round in circles and knowing you’ll always give in to this person. Waiting for them all night, and wishing you could be there for them when they’re lonely.

What I’ve gained from this album is harry is a sap and he enjoys making his fans cry.

oooh thank you, this was really interesting to read because i'm in such a tizzy that i can barely process any of the lyrics right now and have only focused on the sound! can't wait to really dig into it myself

#asks #hkanes #hs3 spoilers #hs3 leak liveblog

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restapesta · 3 years

Note

them playing truth or dare

Tami had been the one to suggest it.

Ian found it weird that everybody just went along, minds still sane and all, eager to comply and play as if they weren't all full-blown adults with marriages and children; but a few beers in—sans Lip who was sporting a Diet Coke—maybe it shouldn't have been that big of a surprise; the kids were otherwise occupied, Liam was at a sleepover, the Gallagher house was free for them, and them only.

Maybe Ian shouldn't have balked at his husband who had enthusiastically said yes! to playing truth or dare, as if they were all a bunch of teenage girls, begging for their crushes to be revealed. Ian watched Mickey from the corner of his eye as he took a shot of vodka that had been haphazardly lying on the table for communal use—great, Ian would be getting drunk Mick tonight. They'd probably have to crash at the house. Even Ian had a beer to drink and he got hammered pretty fucking quick.

"Okay," Tami said loudly, shushing the small crowd of people who were sitting all around the living room, speaking in a frenzy, voices mushing in together so it wasn't even conversation, just fucking loud and incoherent. Her hair was clinging wildly to her sweaty forehead, strands flying around as if electrocuted, and Ian realized this was the first time after her second pregnancy she was able to really get drunk. He applauded her for it, hoping she was having a great fucking time. Over a year of abstinence and he'd go fucking crazy, probably.

Ian couldn't help but guiltily look at his brother from the corner of his eye as if he'd been able to read his thoughts. He only looked away once Mickey elbowed him, whispering lowly how Ian should probably slow down with the drinks. Wouldn't want you to faint in ten fucking minutes and need me to drag you back home, said the man that was drunk off his ass.

Even inebriated he worried.

"Hey!" Tami shouted until all eyes went to her and the voices drowned out, dissipating into murmurs, one of them being Ian telling his husband that, it was so cute you're worrying about me, earning himself a middle finger in the face. She continued, seemingly pleased with herself for shutting a bunch of Gallaghers up, a feat not easily accomplished (what she didn't know was that everybody was still talking, just discreetly enough for her to not hear).

"Since I was the one who came up with the idea," She said proudly as if playing truth or dare was the smartest, coolest idea ever. "I think I should have the honors of starting."

Lip snorted beside her, a small smile playing on his lips. "You're drunk but okay." His head was shaved off completely, prompted by lice Fred had brought back home from day-care.

They were both sitting on two cushions on the floor, leaving Debbie on the sofa near the door, and Carl on the couch next to Ian and Mickey. His Coke can was so close to his leg, just begging to be spilled. Ian fought the urge to tell him to just move it to the side, but well, everybody else was practically drunk, so it didn't seem too fair. He was forced to endure a bunch of assholes while sober; the least they could do was offer him more Cokes and leave him to ruin his stomach in peace while they all ruined their livers.

"Shush!" Tami swatted at him, a concentrated look on her face. "We're playing."

Lip raised his hands in surrender just as Ian turned to whisper into Mickey's ear, "This is gonna be a shit show."

It was Mickey's turn to shush Ian, swatting him gently on the arm, focus solely on Tami and her upcoming question. He looked genuinely interested in what Tami had to ask—maybe he was looking forward to some juicy questions. Ian thought she'd be the one to ask the blandest ones.

"We're playing," Mickey said once Ian leaned in again to tell him just that, and Ian just shook his head lightly, biting his lip to stop from smiling.

Tami moved her eyes from her boyfriend all the way to Debbie who was fucking around on her phone, typing away slowly. Ian knew she was paying attention, but he also knew that her new girlfriend and their "relationship problems" probably exceeded the game right now.

"You ready, Debbie?" She asked, eyes dropping in sympathy. "This first one's for you. You said you needed to get your mind off of things."

Debbie lifted her eyes from her phone, eyebrows going up, biting her lip. She shut the screen off and crossed her legs, nodding to herself. "Shoot."

"Okay, so—"

"—What’s the most embarrassing thing that turns you on?"

Lip groaned along with Ian at the question. It didn't matter if they all knew everything and anything about each other's sex lives—Debbie talked about hers in a way that not even Ian and Mickey do. So Ian just squirmed in his seat, grimacing and then shooting a glare towards his husband who snickered at his facial expression, and they all sat and waited for their sister to start talking about sex as if they were begging to hear about it. Ian was mentally preparing for having his ears bleed.

"Hmm," She said. "Probably thighs."

They collectively blew out grateful breaths that she didn't feel the need to explain her answer. Ian still squirmed, because, well—why the fuck did he need to have that in common with his little sister?

"Carl," Debbie said, fiddling with her phone again. She probably got a new message she would need to send a ten-paragraph rant over. "What's the worst thing about sex, in your opinion?"

Ian eyed Carl beside him as he shrugged. "Not getting any."

It was Mickey who reached over Ian to clap him on the shoulder, grin wide on his face. He really was drunk. "Good answer, kid."

Ian turned to look at him, face scrunching in confusion. They literally had sex before they came over. "What are you talking about? You haven't spent a day in the past, like, four years not get any."

Mickey shrugged, sipping on his beer. "There were times I wasn't gettin' any."

Ian rolled his eyes. He knew Mickey inside, out—that man always got some, whether it be with Ian or without. So he asked, "When?"

Mickey looked at him, eyes clearer than before, still drunk but sober enough to answer Ian's question earnestly.

He cleared his throat, then sucked on his teeth when he saw Ian really was looking for an answer.

When the fuck did Mickey ever do celibacy shit?

"Look, man," He said. "sex," He annunciated the word. "isn't really the same when it's not with the person you want it to be with. It's weird and mechanical, and knowing what sex you could be having instead of the robotic fucking makes you hate it." He looked over at Carl. "I get what you mean by not getting any because I hadn't seen Ian for two fucking years before prison, and most of that time I just thought I'd have miserable, loveless sex for the rest of my life, so," He shrugged, again, settling back into the cushions. "Not getting any isn't just not having sex. It's not having sex with the only person you want to have sex with because you'll never see them again for the rest of your life."

"So," Lip started, a teasing air around his words. "Pointless fucking equals not getting any, and lovemaking with Ian here equals you bitches are soulmates?"

Mickey snorted. "Yeah, fuck you."

He then, probably noting how Ian was staring at him, completely flabbergasted, met Ian's eyes.

There was a second of them just staring at one another, Mickey's eyes quickly going up and down Ian's form in the most loving/sexual way, before he averted them to Carl again. "Come on, man, who's next?"

Carl grinned wickedly. "Ian,"

"Yeah?" He finally forced himself to stop staring at Mickey who was now placing his hand soothingly over his thigh, silently saying, You know what I meant. I know you know what I meant.

Carl's question was quick.

"Do you believe you and Mickey are soulmates?"

Ian's right eyebrow went up—he'd been practicing after a heated discussion with Mickey at three am on a Wednesday about who had better eyebrows. He was a sore loser.

"What kind of question is that?"

"Well," Carl said. "You've just broken up more number of times than I've had girlfriends—"

"We've always come back to each other," He interrupted, tone defensive; slightly frustrated. Mickey's hand squeezed, warm through the fabric of Ian's sweats.

"Yeah, but—"

"There's no question about it, Carl. If there's anybody in this world that's literally meant for me, it's Mickey. I've loved him since the very first day I met him, and I'll love him until the day I die." He meant it with every bone in his body and he just wished somebody would put it in question again, after all they had been through. Wasn't that proof fucking enough that if there's anybody in this world Ian loves more than Mickey, it's Mickey loving Ian back?

"That answer' your question?" He asked, chin jutting out.

His hands went up in surrender as he lowly whistled. "Got it, chief."

"Yeah, Ian," Tami said, eyes rolling animatedly. "We get it—you love each other most in the world, blah, blah, barf."

Mickey choked out a laugh. "Come on, Red," He said, looking again towards Ian, gaze soft. "Next question."

So they played on.

#gallavich #ian gallagher #mickey milkovich #shameless us #fan fic #*ficlet #this was supposed to be longer but i decided to cut it off here because i felt like adding to it would make it drag #first thing i've written in a month #had no school today so i just spent seven fucking hours studying #pleaseeee recommend some good fucking fics in my inbox. i need some shit to read tonight. tyyyyyyy #ficlet #emina answers

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cinnaminsvga · 4 years

Text

Hug-o-gram | Yoongi

→ summary:

“This is probably the dumbest idea you’ve ever had,” Yoongi hisses, but it’s kind of hard for Seokjin to take him seriously when he’s wearing a cardboard sign around his neck that says ‘Huggie Wuggie Machine!’ in bubble font.

“Like, even worse than when we DIY’d your car into a convertible by sawing the top off?” Seokjin asks, genuinely curious.

“Worse,” Yoongi admits, trying his best to stay out of your line of sight. His cheeks redden, matching the gaudy pink kitten ears he was forced into wearing.

{or alternatively: Seokjin is a terrible wingman. He also runs a profitable business by sending hugs to people’s crushes for a fee. Mix them together and you have a recipe for Min Yoongi’s worst nightmare.}

→ genre: college!au, hugging booth!au, fluff, humor → warnings: yoongi is so smitten that he’s a walking disaster, so much shy!yoongi to the point where you’ll want to scream, seokjin just tryna get his homie some y/n love coochie bro ;o; → words: 13.3K → a/n: another commission by the lovely @jincherie because she’s epic like that!! she literally just told me to write whatever the hell i wanted and well... yoobie got me Good... anyway here’s more yoongi fluff bc apparently i’m a fluff writer now and sometimes i just want my boy to be happy... appa yip yip

Kim Seokjin makes a lot of good decisions. He also makes plenty of bad ones, but he likes to think the score is lying heavily towards the positives. Min Yoongi will be the first one to quickly disagree, but Seokjin doesn’t let it get to him. He doesn’t make it his business to listen to opinions that don’t immediately align with his, anyway; he likes to call it “selective hearing.” Yoongi calls it stupidity. Either way, the point still stands: Seokjin knows a good idea when he sees one. Case in point:

“This automatic popcorn machine is absolutely divine,” Seokjin moans, his mouth agape as he waits for the Mister Popcorn Robot to bestow him with another morsel of goodness.

“Yeah,” is Yoongi’s verbose reply. He also has his mouth agape, his prone body lying side by side with his roommate of four years in their small living room. Their roomba (another one of Seokjin’s good ideas) cleans all around them, its steady whirring serving as their only source of background music. “Lowkey though, I think our position isn’t quite… as optimized as it could be.”

“What do you mean?” Seokjin asks, as he drapes his leg over Yoongi’s. His movement jostles the surrounding popcorn halo around them, as most of the food had missed their mouths by a couple of centimeters. At this point, the roomba has probably eaten more of the popcorn than the two of them combined.

“Nothing,” Yoongi shrugs, or whatever might be the lying down equivalent of a shrug. Some of the popcorn on his chest falls down, only to be quickly devoured by roomba-chi. Yoongi stares at the ceiling, tracing shapes out of the cracks that Seokjin had accidentally made when he tried using a pogo stick indoors. He points up, catching Seokjin’s attention. “Hey, hyung. Doesn’t that look a bit like Y/N?”

Seokjin squints. “You mean the mysterious brown stain near the lights? I think the toilet from the elderly couple upstairs might have leaked that.”

“No, you dipshit. The squiggly curve over there. It reminds me of her smile.” Yoongi says. There’s a stupid dopey grin on his face and Seokjin wants nothing more than to wipe it off.

“Jesus fucking Christ.” Seokjin groans, turning over to envelop Yoongi in a sweaty half-armed hug. The buttery residue on his arms and stomach leaves something to be desired, but Yoongi doesn’t scoot away. He only continues to sigh dreamily, staring mindlessly at the image of you that only his lovelorn brain can imagine.

Seokjin slaps Yoongi in the face. “Dude, get a fucking grip,” he grouses, giving Yoongi a serious look. The younger doesn’t break out of his trance, further irritating him. “Will you stop pining in front of my popcorn? It’s seriously making roomba-chi lose her appetite!”

To his credit, roomba-chi did seem to be slowing down, though that could also be because it had overloaded with popcorn and was seconds away from exploding. Wouldn’t be the first time, but Seokjin always managed to find a way to save roomba-chi from imminent death. She was like a daughter to him.

“Hyung, you know I can’t. I just… God, I really like her, you know?”

“That’s the third time you said that within the last hour. Believe me, I know.” Seokjin groans, shoving Yoongi away. He sits up, reaching over to the popcorn machine and switching it off. He grabs a fistful of fallen popcorn from the ground and shoves it inside Yoongi’s mouth. “There. That should shut you up.”

“Aw weawwy wike hew, hwung.”

“And yet, you still haven’t done anything after four years,” Seokjin tuts, finally standing up. He stretches his limbs, his joints creaking youthfully. He grabs his phone from the coffee table, nearly dropping it from the butteriness of his fingers. The clock reads 4:32 PM, which means–

“Yoongi, it’s time for me to head to work. You want to come with me today?” Seokjin asks, though he knows what answer he’s going to get. You see, Seokjin’s new booming business is another one of his fantastic ideas, but it is a little... inventive. Sure, Yoongi had scoffed when he had originally suggested the idea, but Seokjin knew that it was going to be a money-maker. Sure, it had taken a few years for the business to really take off, but once it finally did…

Enter Kim Seokjin’s Hug-o-gram Service! Students from his university are able to send anonymous payments directly to him, with little notes attached for their crushes. Each love letter delivery comes with a hug from Seokjin himself, delivered straight to the person without them ever knowing who the hug came from. It was ingenious! It was lucrative! But most of all…

It allowed Seokjin to cause drama and have an excuse for it! Nothing could have been more perfect for a man like him.

“No thanks,” Yoongi snorts, rolling over to face him. He watches from the floor as Seokjin changes into a butter-less shirt, which also happens to have his own face printed on the front and back. His trusty cardboard sign that reads “I’m Gonna Glomp Ya!” also joins his attire for the afternoon, a long piece of string tied to its edges so that he can wear it around his neck. Throwing on a pair of white sneakers with the tags still attached, Seokjin is ready to tackle today’s list of would-be hug-ees.

“How do I look?” Seokjin asks, combing his hair with his fingers. It leaves an oily sheen, which he somehow makes it work.

“Ugly,” Yoongi says, like a liar.

“It’s okay, I understand. I can speak tsundere, so you don’t need to explain,” Seokjin snickers, nearly getting hit with a TV remote by Yoongi. He opens his phone again, swiping to his e-mail to see his list of hug deliveries for the day.

Seokjin gets around 10 requests a day, with around half of them coming from regular clients. He’s especially fond of this boy who has been sending hugs to his TA named Namjoon for almost a month now. He has no idea why this kid has so much disposable income, though seeing the blush on Namjoon’s face everyday makes Seokjin think that he would spend every last penny for him too. Namjoon had begged Seokjin for his secret admirer’s identity, but snitchin’ isn’t a part of his service, unfortunately.

As much as Seokjin wants to know who is crushing on who, his little business wouldn’t work as well as it did if anonymity wasn’t included in his package deal. It allows people to thirst in public without facing the repercussions, like getting a knee to the groin or a slap to the face. Not that Seokjin has ever been at the receiving end of that; everyone loves him! Like, have you seen him? He must have saved a civilization in the past with how devastatingly beautiful his forehead is.

“Why am I suddenly filled with the relentless urge to deck you right now?” Yoongi says, getting up to change into clean clothes as well. His black t-shirt unfortunately does not have Seokjin’s face on it, but that can quickly be amended if the elder of the two decides to follow his every intrusive whim.

Seokjin laughs, completely unaware of the murderous capabilities of his friend. Due to his smaller body size, his percentage of evil is unusually concentrated. “Maybe it’s because you know that I’m into pain pla–” but Seokjin’s retort suddenly grinds to a halt. He chokes mid-sentence, coughing wildly as he pounds his chest with a balled-up fist. When Yoongi looks up at him, he finds his hyung staring slack-jawed at his phone, seemingly flabbergasted by what he finds on his screen.

“What’s the matter? Accidentally sent a dick pic to your prof again?” Yoongi snorts.

“That was one time! And no, it’s…” Seokjin trails off, uncharacteristically hesitant. He shifts his gaze from his phone to Yoongi, a drop of sweat quickly forming on the back of his neck. Yoongi raises a brow, silently urging him to continue.

Instead of replying, Seokjin hands him his phone. Yoongi finds a copy of one of Seokjin’s newest hug requests, only having just received it five minutes ago. As he scrolls down, he finds that this secret admirer is a new client, but that isn’t what made Seokjin stop in his tracks. Instead, it’s the recipient of the hug that catches his attention–

“Y/N has a secret admirer?” Yoongi says, voice cracking at the end. He clears his throat, trying his best to school his face into something less… jealous. He swivels away from Seokjin, forcing himself to breathe slowly through his nose. He convinces himself that he is the very epitome of calmness.

“You okay there, Yoongi? You look like you’re about to vomit,” Seokjin says, immediately breaking his inner peace. Yoongi groans loudly, shucking the phone over his shoulder, uncaring of where it lands. Seokjin, with his superhuman and God-given reflexes… doesn’t catch it. But he did dive to the floor like a seasoned Olympian, and his ass cushioned his phone so he supposes that’s a win.

Back to the matter at hand––

“I am fine,” Yoongi says, as he continues to not be fine.

From the floor, Seokjin shoots him a disbelieving look. He lies down more comfortably, propping his head on his elbows. Screw his hug-o-gram appointments for now; nothing brings him more joy than seeing Yoongi absolutely losing it. “Really? So you wouldn’t mind if I marched up to Y/N right now and give her the warmest, coziest, most tender hug of her fucking life?”

“Y… Yes,” Yoongi squeaks, neck glowing a furious red. He has his fists clenched (adorably) by his sides, head bowed as he faces the wall of their apartment. Seokjin’s brain makes the unhelpful comparison of Yoongi with that cat meme who says “no talk me angy” in Impact font.

Seokjin grins, his wickedness from within coiling and yearning to burst from his seams. This is it! Maybe if he pushes a little more, then maybe Yoongi will stop pining like a pathetic loser! Also, it didn’t hurt that he got to push Yoongi’s buttons while he’s at it, but hey! Not all heroes go to heaven or whatever.

He grabs his phone from his ass, scrolling back to the e-mail. “So… You wouldn’t mind if I walk up to Y/N right now and tell her ‘Hey! I’ve had an embarrassingly long crush on you and when I heard about this hugging service… I couldn’t miss the chance to shoot my shot! If you’re single and ready to #mingle, then please meet me at the Corner Cafe at 2 PM tomorrow.’” Seokjin sing-songs, snickering loudly when he sees the absolute pain etched onto Yoongi’s face.

There is a pause, and Seokjin waits as Yoongi uses his tiny kitty brain to think of what to do. He can only imagine what’s going inside his head, but he has a guess. Yoongi could either: 1) finally admit his feelings for you and come clean before Seokjin has to deliver your hug, or 2) do something stupid and counterproductive.

It comes as no surprise when Yoongi goes with option number––

“Hyung, let me come with you to work today,” Yoongi decides, walking over Seokjin’s prone body to their shoe rack. He slides into a pair of sneakers, his harried movements unusual for his customary lethargicness. He grabs a coat from its hanger, stomping his feet to get Seokjin to move faster. “C’mon! We have hugs to deliver.”

“Woah woah woah! Slow down there, Simpimus Prime.” Seokjin gets back up to his feet, skipping over to him. An absolutely feral grin is stretched upon his face. “Am I hearing what you’re saying? Are you offering… to deliver hugs with yours truly? Are you finally going to take up my offer to be an employee at Kim Seokjin’s Hug-o-gram Service?”

“Of course not,” Yoongi scoffs, but his shifting eyes betray him. He fidgets in place, refusing to return Seokjin’s eager gaze. “I just… wanted to go out for once. Yeah.”

“Yoongi.”

“What?”

“You haven’t left this apartment other than to go to class in over a month. You never go out. You’re an indoor cat!”

“I’m not a fucking cat,” Yoongi hisses, like a cat. “And of course I go out! There was that one time I went outside to pick up our food delivery last week.”

Judging from Seokjin’s unimpressed stare, Yoongi’s excuse doesn’t cut it. Yoongi flaps his arms around, defeated. “Okay, fine! I rarely go out! Screw me and the bounteous crapload of assignments I have due! It’s not my fault I don’t have the time to socialize and have fun. What do you want from me?”

What Seokjin wants is to push a confession out of Yoongi, not because he needs the confirmation, but mostly because he just wants to annoy Yoongi and say “I told you so!” He’s also pretty cute when he’s all blushy and tsundere whenever he talks about you. Should he film him and sell the footage on eboys.bb? He’s certain that goth boy over here would make a pretty penny.

“You like krabby patties, don’t you Squidward?”

“I have no idea what you mean,” Yoongi sniffs, nose upturned. He opens the door, not looking behind him to see Seokjin’s triumphant expression. “C’mon. Y/N’s last class of the day ends in a few minutes and we might catch her before she leaves the Science Building.”

Seokjin snorts. He is quick to slip his own coat on and he follows soon after. He locks their door shut, hopping over to Yoongi and matching his shorter-legged pace. “Yeah. Because you totally just know her schedule at the top of your head. You know, like a normal person.”

Yoongi ignores him. He trudges on, each step filled with determination as they make their way to Seokjin’s beat-up truck. Seokjin skips alongside him, observing the younger boy and placing bets inside his mind. The drive to campus isn’t that long as it only takes around 10 minutes to get there, but Seokjin guesses that Yoongi’s defenses will begin to chip away only 3 minutes into the drive.

He’ll start to realize the gravity of the situation, the cogs in his smooth and slushy excuse of a brain slowly comprehend what he’s about to witness. He’ll first think about how 1) he’s going to see you and that never helps his poor dainty grandpa heart and 2) he’s going to see you hugging Seokjin as he reads to you the short love confession from your anonymous Romeo. Seokjin bets that after 8 minutes, Yoongi will start to break out into a sweat, leaving gross perspiration marks on his good car seat leather.

After exactly 7 minutes and 34 seconds (Seokjin was keeping track of the time on his dashboard), Yoongi’s face turns an unflattering shade of green. “Dude. I don’t think this is a good idea.”

Yoongi had originally offered to drive the two of them to campus, but Seokjin had the good foresight to refuse. Had Yoongi been the one on the wheel, he would’ve brought them back home in an instant due to nerves. So instead, Seokjin speeds up, ignoring Yoongi’s soft whimpers of defeat.

“Too bad, but there is no turning back now. I have six deliveries today and I am not putting my livelihood on the line just because your balls have magically shrunk in size,” Seokjin snickers. He glances at Yoongi from the corner of his eye and feels the slightest touch of pity for the pathetic fool beside him. “But if it really makes you want to shit yourself from anxiety, we could save Y/N for last. Though, on second thought… That could also prolong your misery, which I will always be up for.”

“God, shut up,” Yoongi groans, slamming his head on the dashboard. Seokjin continues undeterred as he pulls into the campus parking lot, waiting for his friend to make up his damn mind for once in his life. He supposes that he is being a little harsh on Yoongi, but there are only so many sad love songs he can listen to without going completely insane.

Aren’t you tired of being nice? The demon on his shoulder cajoles, shoving the corpse of his angel counterpart somewhere down a ditch. Don’t you just want to go apeshit?

And who is Seokjin to deny his impulsive needs anyway?

“No, let’s… just get this over with,” Yoongi decides, head still smushed against his dashboard. He doesn’t make any move to get out of the car, not even when Seokjin shuts off the engine and makes a show of “leaving” Yoongi behind.

“Okay, lover boy. You have ten seconds to get your butt into high gear before I’m leaving you behind. And you should know that I’m not above playing dirty and giving Y/N the sweetest fucking hug of her life that will make her forget anyone else exists in this world, so you better start moving before I–”

Like lightning, Yoongi scrambles out of the car faster than if it had caught on fire (and Seokjin’s car has exploded before and Yoongi certainly did not seem as bothered to escape than he does right now.) He nearly trips over himself in his haste, getting caught by the car door and nearly receiving a concrete facial to boot. He straightens up with as much dignity as he can muster (which he doesn’t have very much of, if at all.) Seokjin is kind enough not to mention anything, but the shit-eating grin on his face is enough to make Yoongi bristle.

They exit the parking lot, looking to the world like the sun and moon had turned human for the day. Min Yoongi, with his all-black attire and gaunt appearance, is heavily juxtaposed with the man who appears to have been vomited on by a rainbow. They walk side-by-side together, accustomed to the stares that often come their way when they go out in public.

“I just can’t believe we’re doing this,” Yoongi moans for the umpteenth time, his movements stilted like a robot. His footsteps look heavily disjointed like his knees were beginning to rust. His arms swing like a pendulum, adding to the unnaturalness of his motions. Basically, he looks like a fucking idiot.

“Who are you calling an idiot?” Yoongi snaps. Seokjin startles a bit, realizing belatedly that he’d said that out loud. Not that he cares. Yoongi continues, “I’m not the one wearing a fucking cardboard sign that looks like a toddler made it with macaroni and glitter!”

“Hey, Taehyung told me it looked good,” Seokjin sniffs, fingering the macaroni pieces dejectedly. “I don’t need to hear an opinion from a Music major.”

“Shut up, Business major. No one likes you fucking snakes,” Yoongi retorts, crossing his arms. “Your definition of fun is going on LinkedIn and using Excel sheets.”

Distracted by their own quarrel, neither of them notice the sound of the large clock in the middle of campus that chimes every hour, signaling that it was already 5 PM. A few minutes later, hoards of students begin to leave university for the day, the walkways beginning to fill with people as they head home. Amidst the chattering and bustling of everyone trying to get out of the crowd, it is hard to notice that you are also one of the hundreds of people finishing your last class of the day.

But Yoongi notices, as he always does. Call it Y/N intuition, or whatever. “There,” Yoongi points you out over dozens of heads. Seokjin can hardly spot you, but he trusts Yoongi’s weird Y/N-dar to find you without fail. People have begun to notice the two of them, most of whom were whispering excitedly when they notice that Seokjin is in his work attire.

“Oh my god, someone’s getting a hug-o-gram! I wonder who…”

“Have you ever ordered one? I got one for my current girlfriend last month and that’s how we got together.”

“I’ve always wanted to send one, but the prices are insane! Fuck them business students and their capitalist ways.”

“Screw sending a hug to someone else! I wanna order a hug for me. Kim Seokjin is a hot piece of ass.”

(Yoongi swears the last comment had sounded eerily like Seokjin himself, but the older boy’s mouth hadn’t moved in the last minute.)

“Alright, Yoongi. Here’s the plan,” Seokjin leans closer to Yoongi, stage whispering into his ear. Everyone within a six-foot radius is eagerly eavesdropping, not even bothering to pretend that they aren’t. It’s common knowledge that Seokjin basks in their attention, anyway. Yoongi rolls his eyes, urging him to get it over with.

“Y/N is over there, right? Well, I have to send a hug to this guy named Mark Lee too, who just so happens to be over there,” Seokjin points behind them, in the opposite direction of where Y/N was heading, “so here’s my proposition. You go over to Y/N and deliver the hug for me, while I go catch up to Mark so that we can kill one bird with two stones!”

“Excuse me?” Yoongi wheezes, pushing Seokjin away from him. His eyes bug out. “Are you insane? I am not doing that. And the phrase is ‘killing two birds with one stone,’ you fucking idiot.”

“Same shit, Shakespeare! Who cares about numbers!” Seokjin exclaims, exasperated. “Listen, would you rather you hug Mark and I hug Y/N?”

“I would much rather prefer that I stick my whole fist up your anus,” Yoongi seethes.

“Interesting proposition, but maybe for a later time,” Seokjin says, not missing a beat. “Listen, dude. The longer we prolong this little bitchfest you have going on, the farther away Y/N is gonna get. You know I will stop at nothing to deliver her hug anyway, so would you rather you miss your chance right now when I am so magnanimously offering you a shot at getting closer to your crush?”

Even though Yoongi feels like his insides were slowly turning into mashed potatoes, he knows that he had already made a decision long before they left the house. Seokjin is right; this is a good opportunity for him, whether he is willing to admit it out loud. Perhaps it is just because it is Seokjin of all people who is egging him on that preprogrammed him into thinking that this was a bad idea. In all seriousness, it was just a hug, nothing fancy. It isn’t like Yoongi was going to have to kiss you––

(His heart contracts and Yoongi wonders if he’s having a stroke. The thought of your soft lips connecting with his is enough to cause the wind to knock out of his chest. God, Yoongi is so screwed.)

“Why must I always feel as though I am a snail and God is personally salting me,” Yoongi groans, stepping away from Seokjin and heading your way. Behind him, Seokjin hollers in what he assumes is friendly support, but it only further antagonizes Yoongi. The absolute buffoon waves enthusiastically from behind him, a beaming grin almost ready to split his face in two. Yoongi flips him off without looking back.

God fucking dammit. The closer that Yoongi is to approaching you, the stronger the urge to just evaporate like ice cream on hot concrete becomes. He can feel himself perspiring from every corner of his body and he just hopes that his black attire will do well to mask the slimy creature that he is underneath his clothing.

This is all Seokjin’s fault, Yoongi reminds himself. If he hadn’t started this stupid hugging service in the first place, then no one would have ordered a hug for you in the first place. Then Yoongi wouldn’t have to be in this stupid predicament either!

But you could’ve ordered a hug for her if you wanted to, says the annoying part of his brain – the same part that’s always been a little bit too hopeful for Yoongi’s liking. The whispers continue, And she wouldn’t even know it would be you! But more importantly…

“Seokjin wouldn’t know either,” Yoongi huffs irritably because he knows it’s true. The biggest thing stopping him from ever making a move on you, other than his debilitating fear of rejection and heartbreak, is the fact that he’d rather explode into spores than for Seokjin to find out that he’d used his “genius” business idea to get the girl of his dreams.

He’s afraid that one day, Seokjin would magically develop telepathic powers (a fear that Yoongi feels that the majority of the human population should also share) and find out that Yoongi doesn’t actually think his hug-o-gram service is dumb. It’s actually really cute, and Yoongi hates to admit that the success rate of his service is nearly perfect in terms of getting couples together.

But Yoongi is a strong (read: stubborn) man; he’d rather drop dead than allow Seokjin the satisfaction of seeing his business work out for his seemingly hopeless case. Which brings him to the present–

You’re standing by the entrance of the Sciences building. You are dressed nicely as always; Yoongi doesn’t think he’s ever seen you in anything remotely slobby, not even a pair of sweats like any regular uni student. You always look a little bit business proper: the epitome of someone who should be on the student council.

You’re speaking to someone, a younger male student by the looks of it. The hairs on Yoongi’s neck stand at attention and, God forbid, did he just fucking growl? Did he make that sound? By the looks of the students carefully navigating their way around him, Yoongi surmises that he did make that sound. Geez, is he some sort of animal? Is he going to turn into those feral stan accounts on Twitter that salivate over their K-pop boys like it’s their job? He hopes not.

But what if that’s the kid who sent the hug–

Yoongi shuts up his brain before he can let it finish. No, he can’t let himself go down that path. It’ll only cause him to self-combust right then and there, and he isn’t exactly keen on letting you see his entrails anytime soon. That would be the least cool thing to do, he decides. And so, with his brain turned off, he walks over to you, arms swinging robotically by his sides as he forces himself closer.

“Oh thank you so much, Y/N! You’ve been a real help to our club, you know?” The boy (Yoongi can’t believe they’re letting toddlers into university these days!) says, his eyes glittering with an ambition that still hasn’t been killed by the all-consuming dread that comes with university.

You laugh lightly, the sound causing butterflies to flutter excitedly in Yoongi’s chest. “No worries, Soobin. I’m glad I could be of help. If the editorial board needs any more help, don’t be shy to shoot me a message, alright?”

Soobin nods enthusiastically, his head bobbing up and down so quickly that Yoongi was afraid his neck would snap. “No worries, Y/N! Have a good rest of your week!” He waves a cheery goodbye, springing away with his numerous anime keychains on his backpack jingling softly in his wake.

“What a cute kid,” you sigh. You look incredibly fond, and Yoongi hates the bitter coil swimming in the pit of his stomach. That feeling soon fizzles out when you finally turn to face Yoongi. Your eyebrows shoot up, but your expression quickly morphs into one of pleasant surprise. Yoongi’s heart stops for just a moment, feet turning cold. “Yoongi! Oh my goodness, it’s been a hot minute since I’ve seen you! How’s it going?”

Let’s play a game, shall we? How many of Yoongi’s nervous ticks can you spot within the next five minutes? Think of this as the easiest game of Where’s Waldo ever!

“Hnng,” Yoongi stammers, his hand immediately going to scratch the back of his neck. His cheeks pinken, pupils shaking in every different direction as they try to focus on anything but you. It always feels like he’s standing way too close to the sun when he’s around you, hardly able to keep his gaze focused on you. He chooses to stare resolutely at your chin, but even your fucking chin was impossibly cute.

Seriously? Yoongi is a walking shitshow! His inner voice comes back, but this time it sounds uncannily like his roommate. Come on, buddy. Just say hi… You know, like a normal person. “H… Hey, Y/N.”

Success count: 1 point for the Yogurt Machine!

Even though Yoongi felt like he was living his worst nightmare, you still looked every bit like his favorite daydream. You are all smiles, seemingly unperturbed by Yoongi’s slow, embarrassing demise. “It’s so good to see you! Midterms haven’t been too hard on you, I hope?”

“I’ve been better,” he says. Better now that you’re here, he leaves unsaid. God, can you imagine if he said that out loud?

Your mouth drops open, soft cherry blossoms blooming across your cheeks. “Um, what did you say?” you squeak, embarrassed. But certainly not as embarrassed as the boy in front of you.

Yoongi stops breathing. He did not say that aloud, had he? Judging by the awkward silence stretching between the two of you, the signs are pointing to: yes. Ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygo–– “Er, what I mean to say is,” Yoongi stutters through his sentence, his entire body flushing fire engine red like it’s nobody’s business. He must look like Satan’s spanked ass right now. “I… I’m here to deliver a hug!”

Confusion quickly replaces the shock on your face. You tilt your head, brows scrunching up cutely. “A hug?” you ask.

“R-right,” Yoongi says, waving his arms around because he has nothing else better to do. He gestures vaguely in the opposite direction, where Seokjin had left to find his other clients. “I’m, uhh… Helping my roommate. Have you heard of Seokjin’s hug-o-gram service?”

“Oh, yeah!” You hop excitedly in place, looking to all the world like the cutest thing in the universe. Yoongi thinks you should be classified as a public hazard, what with how you’re somehow able to give him diabetes just from standing next to him. “I totally heard about that! I’ve always wanted to send a hug, but I’ve always been a little shy.”

That piques Yoongi’s interest immediately. You wanted to send a hug? But to who? He unconsciously clenches his jaw, and he can feel a vein pop up near his neck. He forces himself to smile, but he knows it probably looks more like a grimace. “Oh really? That’s… I didn’t know you had a crush on somebody.”

Yoongi is too busy wallowing in his own self-pity puddle that he misses the way you gaze shyly up at him through your eyelashes, your hands clasped behind your back. “Y-yea… I don’t really go around telling it to just anybody,” you shrug as nonchalantly as you can. You clear your throat. “So, are you here to deliver a hug or something?”

Nothing gets past you, huh? Yoongi swallows thickly as he twiddles his thumbs. He still can’t bear to look at you head-on, afraid that his emotions would be too obvious if he did. (Who is he kidding… He knows he’s fucking obvious, and yet you never seem to get the picture!) “Yea, I am. I’m here to deliver one to you, actually.”

He doesn’t get to see your reaction, but he does notice the way your entire body stiffens. His mind immediately starts to run a minute, trying to guess why you’d suddenly gone stock still.

Did you know who your secret admirer was already? Or perhaps, were you just thoroughly shocked to receive one at all? That can’t be it… You’re the campus sweetheart! Surely it’s much weirder that it has taken eons for you to get your first hug… Or perhaps, are you so disgusted by the thought of him delivering the hug? Oh my god, what if you didn’t want him to hug you? Shit, this entire thing is a terrible idea! How did Seokjin ever convince him to do this stupid shit and get his heartbroken in the process? He swears he’s going to shove ten firecrackers up his ass the next time he sees him––

“Um, Yoongi?” You’re staring worriedly at him, your hand semi-raised as if you were about to wave in front of him. Did you say something? He must look like a fucking prick to you! He shakes his head, trying desperately to get his mind back into his body. Why must he be cursed with inner monologue disease? What is he, some sort of shoujo manga male protagonist?

“Sorry about that. I’ve been a little spacey these days,” he laughs, but even he can hear the panic laced in his voice. He sounds just on the edge of being hysterical. “Ahaha… What were you saying?”

“I was just… shocked?” You giggle softly, making Yoongi cry internally. You smirk, mischief glittering in your eyes. “I just never imagined you’d be the type to… I don’t know…”

“Willingly hug people for the sake of capitalism? I feel you,” Yoongi snorts, forgetting for a moment who he’s talking to. “Believe me, I’d rather drop dead than allow Seokjin to use me for his stupid business venture.”

“Then why are you delivering a hug to me now?” you ask, still smiling.

“Hnng,” Yoongi’s tongue feels like it’s grown two sizes all of a sudden. He wheezes, choking on his own spit as he’s caught off guard by your question. “W-well, I––”

“Just being a good friend, I’m guessing?” You’re full-on giggling now, barely trying to hide your mirth behind your hands. Yoongi understands now; you’re teasing him. He hates how amused you are by his awkwardness, but he loves the way your entire expression lights up, like you’re enjoying yourself by being with him.

“Let’s go with that,” Yoongi mumbles, scratching the back of his neck in embarrassment. He has his head bowed, hoping that his unruly fringe can finally come in handy and hide the disastrous blush encompassing his face. “Right… I’ll just, umm…”

“Am I getting my hug today, or am I gonna have to take a rain check?” You laugh, slapping his shoulder in an attempt to help him shake off the awkward tension. It has the opposite intended effect, as Yoongi’s breath hitches imperceptibly at your proximity. You had taken a step closer, and Yoongi could smell the sweet perfume you always seemed to be wearing. Please don’t pop a boner right now. That would be super fucking creepy.

“You’re…” Yoongi hesitates, arms uselessly immobile by his sides. He doesn’t know if he can even get them to move at this point, as he has lost all motor skills the moment you had focused all your attention on him. It’s a miracle that his heart remembers to beat every so often. “I’m just… I’m just gonna go for it, okay?”

You nod, hands tucked neatly behind your back. “No need to be scared, Yoongi. I don’t bite,” you joke.

God, if you only knew about the dreams I’ve had of you. Yoongi hopes to all the deities from up above that he had not said that aloud, but you don’t seem to be disgusted, so he can only assume that his traitorous brain had disconnected with his mouth for the time being.

He shuffles closer to you, the warmth of your body closing in as he makes the grueling effort to lift his arms up to gently wrap themselves around you, but before he can even fully hug you––

You’re quick to reciprocate. With a small laugh, you wrap your own arms around his torso, nuzzling into his chest with more force than Yoongi was expecting. He lets out a soft wheeze, mouth dropping open when he is assaulted by the smell of your fruity shampoo. His hands hover awkwardly above you, still unsure of where it’s okay to touch you without weirding you out.

You tilt your face up, eyes crinkling cutely by the sheer force of your grin. Both of your faces are only centimeters away from each other, and Yoongi could probably count your eyelashes if he so desired. His breathing stills as he becomes positively mesmerized by the beautiful sight in front of him. He doesn’t even hear the sound of phone camera shutters around him, as he is much too deeply focused on nothing but you, you, you.

“Hey, don’t half-ass your hug! Gimme a good ol’ bear hug!” you whine, nudging his elbows gently to get them to move. Snapped out of his reverie, Yoongi mechanically does as you say, his head completely empty of thoughts. He wraps his arms tightly around your shoulders, his wrist knocking slightly against the back of your head until you’re back to snuggling deep into his chest.

“Your laundry detergent smells nice,” you say, slightly muffled by his shirt. Yoongi lets out a breathy laugh, mostly out of disbelief more than anything. He can’t even begin to process anything right now; he feels like he’s reverted back into a single-celled organism.

“Thanks?” Yoongi squeaks, but you don’t seem to mind his awkward attempts at being a Normal Person™️. You crane your neck upwards so that you’re looking him directly in the eye. There’s a twinkle of mischief there, like you’re enjoying Yoongi’s flushed face a little too much. He honestly feels like he’s seconds away from exploding into tiny bite-sized pieces, and he fears that if you snuggle deeper into his chest, he might just do exactly that.

“So… Are we just supposed to hug for another ten minutes, or am I allowed to let go?”

Yoongi doesn’t even realize how long it’s been. You could’ve been hugging him for ten hours and he wouldn’t have known. Yoongi jerks away from you, nearly vaulting himself across campus by how quickly he lets you go. Thankfully, you don’t appear offended––you were more amused than anything. Yoongi has no idea how red he is right now; he feels like he could be blowing steam out of his ears, astounding anatomists everywhere by his peculiar talent.

“I just have to–” Yoongi pats his back pockets for his phone, clumsily pulling it out and looking for his text messages, “–read this message from your, um, secret admirer and then we’ll be good to go.”

“Great.” You nod at him enthusiastically. “Whenever you’re ready, Yoonie.”

Yoongi’s breath hitches right then, caught off guard by the nickname. Only you ever called him that, and it never fails to make Yoongi’s insides feel like molten lava every time you say it. “I… Yeah, here goes,” Yoongi mutters, trying his best to remember how to speak.

He recites the message with as much enthusiasm as he can manage, which is to say, not very much. He could probably read the phonebook with more zeal, but it’s hard to give it his all when the words feel like acid in his throat. He’s unconsciously clenching his jaw as he speaks, looking like a constipated gorilla. “...so, if you’re single and ready to #mingle, then––” Yoongi stops mid-sentence, staring resolutely at his phone screen with a grimace.

You blink confusedly. “Then?”

“Then nothing,” Yoongi finishes, pocketing his phone without an inch of remorse. “I don’t know what was up with that message, but somehow the letter got cut short. Sorry about that.”

“Huh, strange.” You shrug your shoulders, not bothering to question him.

Yoongi fist bumps himself mentally, though other people might disagree and say that he doesn’t deserve any type of congratulations, to which Yoongi says a big “fuck you!” to those imaginary haters. In the wise words of Kim Seokjin himself, “not everyone is worthy to receive your fucks, so it’s time to stop giving them.” (Kim, 2020)

“Well, that was fun! Thanks for delivering the hug to me, Yoonie,” you pinch Yoongi’s cheek, giggling when they turn even redder. “I’ll see you around, I guess? Don’t let those midterms kill ya!” You wave cheerily at him, walking past him and heading towards the bus stops. Yoongi stands frozen in place, the events of the last few minutes finally catching up to him and frying his brain beyond repair.

Oh my god, he fucking hugged you! Like, a good and genuine hug! You felt so warm and so soft and you smelled really good and it was more than he could ever imagine and just––

Yoongi’s brain is trying (and failing) to desperately parse the delayed barrage of information as it comes, but it’s hard for the little hamster running circles in his head when it has never had to run a day in its life. Yoongi’s body feels like it’s overheating even though the weather is nearing the start of winter, but that’s all thanks to you and the devastating effect you have on him.

In short, Yoongi machine has broken, and any sort of maintenance is going to be hard to come by at the moment.

Yoongi could have been standing in front of the Science building for an entire year and he wouldn’t have budged until a tornado in the form of Kim Seokjin arrived to knock him out of his brain dead state. Whistling lowly, the elder stops in front of the rigid mass of meat, an eyebrow quirked in exasperation. “Dude, nice rigor mortis cosplay. Like, yes girl, give us nothing!” he exclaims, slapping Yoongi back to consciousness.

Yoongi blinks rapidly, dazed like he’s woken up from a dream. “What? What’s happening?” he replies dumbly.

Seokjin rolls his eyes. “Yoongi. Did you finish delivering Y/N’s hug or what? I finished all my deliveries in the same time you had with Y/N, so I better hope to God you aren’t planning on applying to be an employee of mine, because you certainly have a long way to go before––”

“I hugged her,” Yoongi interrupts, eyes going glassy once more. His mouth is agape, and Seokjin can see a pool of saliva forming, ready to runneth over. He could see the rusted gears turning inside his dongsaeng’s head. “Oh my god, hyung. I fucking hugged her.”

“Yeah, and I hugged Taehyung Kim and felt his gigantic dick press into my stomach. You aren’t special,” Seokjin snorts, clasping Yoongi by the bicep. He drags him away, leading them to their parked car. “C’mon, Dampé. I’m tired and I wanna eat popcorn again.”

As they walk back to the parking lot, the campus roads are a lot less populated now that most students have gone home. Yoongi only then realizes how late it truly is and he vaguely wonders how long he had been stuck standing there before Seokjin had come to drag him back home. The sun has begun its daily descent, filling the courtyard with a warm glow and causing their shadows to grow longer as they trudge quietly to their car.

The campus is quiet enough that both of them hear the quiet buzz of Seokjin’s phone, despite him putting it on silent mode before he had gone on his hugging deliveries. He stops mid-step, causing Yoongi to bump his nose into his wide back. He yelps, shoving Seokjin forward in irritation.

“Why’d you fucking stop, you asshole?” Yoongi whines, his normal annoying personality resurfacing now that he’s begun to recover from your hug. He peers over Seokjin’s behemoth shoulders, squinting at his phone screen. “What? Another hug delivery?”

“Yeah. I’ll do it tomorrow since I think she’s gone home for the day,” Seokjin says, his tone sounding slightly too delighted for comfort. “In fact, I know she’s gone home already.”

Yoongi stills, changing his focus onto the elder’s expression. He looks… too eager to receive a simple hug-o-gram request. A shiver shoots through Yoongi’s spine when he realizes how nefariously bastardous Seokjin’s smile has grown, the tips of his smirk curling upwards like a villain from a classic Disney animation.

“What?” Yoongi glares acidly at Seokjin, but the elder is unaffected. In fact, he seems to grow more pleased the more aggravated Yoongi becomes. “Spit it out! What’s got your prostate tickled?”

“Oh, nothing,” Seokjin singsongs, shoving his phone down the front of his pants, exactly where he knows Yoongi would never touch. “Just got an interesting new regular customer, is all.”

“A new regular?” Yoongi’s pitch heightens, the hairs on the back of his neck bristling in alarm (like a cat.) “Is it… Another request for… You know who?”

“I wasn’t aware Voldemort went to our university,” Seokjin teases, thoroughly enjoying Yoongi’s distress. “Though, if you’re talking about Y/N, then the answer is not not not no.”

“Two double negatives.” Anyone could hear the audible soft rattling of his two brain cells exerting themselves as Yoongi deciphers his answer. “That means…”

Yoongi stares pointedly at Seokjin’s crotch, where the outline of his phone is glaringly obvious. “Show me,” Yoongi growls, not making a move to actually touch Seokjin’s nether regions.

Seokjin shrugs his shoulders. “No one’s stopping you from taking my phone though?”

“Hyung!”

“Buy me bubble tea first, then we’ll talk.”

“Fine,” Yoongi acquiesces, folding his arms in annoyance. “Just tell me. Is it really the same guy who requested the hug for Y/N today as well?”

Seokjin fiddles around for his phone, digging deeper when it nearly drops down the leg of his pants. When he pulls it out and swipes to his e-mails, he confirms Yoongi’s fear. “Yep. And it seems like he saw you deliver the hug today. Says that he’d prefer that I deliver the hug next time,” Seokjin smirks, enjoying the deep-set frown on Yoongi’s face.

When Seokjin takes a closer look at the order, however, he notices something a little off. “Hold on a sec,” he scrolls to the receipt, scowling when he sees the incorrect amount. “Well, you might be in luck, Yoongi-chi. Looks like loverboy sent the wrong payment. He’s a few dollars short.”

“What?” Yoongi says, for what feels like the tenth time in this entire fic. He grabs Seokjin’s phone, no longer repulsed by where it had been only a few minutes prior. Like Seokjin said, the customer had given the wrong amount, much to both their confusion.

“That’s weird, considering he just ordered a hug today,” Seokjin murmurs, shaking his head. “Oh well. Happens to the best of us. Guess I’ll just have to refund the poor sap.”

“Wait,” Yoongi presses the phone to his chest, preventing Seokjin from taking it. His hyung raises a brow.

“What is it?”

“What if I just… pay you the remaining amount? Then I can also deliver the hug to her and, uhh...” Yoongi mumbles the remaining part, but Seokjin has trained his ears to catch every whisper and mutter for moments just like this. He wouldn’t be where he is today if he didn’t perfect his eavesdropping skills to a spy’s degree. That’s right––Seokjin is a sloppy and nosey bitch and he’s not afraid to admit it!

“Oh? Do my ears deceive me?” Seokjin guffaws, pinching Yoongi’s cheeks for good measure. He hisses in response, but Seokjin isn’t afraid of some little kitten. Seokjin is a bigger bitch with a meaner bite. “Is my little Yoongi Woongi seriously offering to deliver another hug to Miss Y/N? How magnanimous of you.”

Yoongi stares at him, stunned for a moment. A few seconds pass before he shakes his head, faux disdain coloring his expression. “That’s right,” Yoongi huffs, detaching himself from Seokjin’s meaty claws. He keeps his gaze averted, like the big stupid tsundere that he is. “I’m doing this out of the goodness of my heart! I care about your profits, and I want to make your workload a little lighter! Isn’t that what you want?”

“Sure, let’s go with that,” Seokjin snickers, poking Yoongi in the tit. He swivels away, skipping merrily away to their parked car. “I’m expecting that cash in my Paypal by the time I get to the car, or else the deal is off. Make it snappy, loverboy!”

Yoongi had never transferred cash to someone so quickly in his life.

(Yes, not even when the food court on campus was doing a BOGO promo for churros. That’s the extent of how whipped his ass is, period.)

x x x x x

“Like, even worse than when we DIY’d your car into a convertible by sawing the top off?” Seokjin asks, genuinely curious.

“Worse,” Yoongi admits, trying his best to stay out of your line of sight. His cheeks redden, matching the gaudy pink kitten ears he was forced into wearing.

“Listen, I’m seriously not forcing you to do this,” Seokjin starts, even though he’s giving his utmost effort to further embarrass Yoongi by handing out flyers about Hug-o-gram’s newest employee. “Please, take one!” he cajoles, offering a flyer to a gaggle of giggling freshmen. “Make sure to reserve a hug within the week! Yoongi-chi over here is on his way to becoming employee of the month if he gets ten requests by Friday!” They all point and whisper at Yoongi, and he swears he hears one of them wolf whistle in admiration.

“That’s what makes this entire thing terrible. I’m doing this on my own volition, and I absolutely abhor myself for it,” Yoongi moans, grabbing Seokjin’s stack of flyers and smacking himself in the head with them. It probably would’ve hurt more when Seokjin still had a full-stack, but people had swarmed them the moment they entered the heart of the campus, everyone curious to see Yoongi in his interesting attire.

Seokjin might have been famous for creating the Hug-o-gram Service, but Yoongi was famous for hating the business idea, so it’s easy to understand why everyone was interested. (For good reason, he thinks darkly to himself.)

“Damn, Yoongi-chi. Looks like you’re trending on the campus Reddit page,” Seokjin laughs, wheezing even harder when Yoongi points him with a murderous glare. “What? Like you said, this was all your idea.”

“Yeah, but I didn’t ask to wear… whatever this is!” Yoongi whines, tugging on the string around his neck. The cardboard sign had been ready and prepared the moment they arrived home the other day, arousing Yoongi’s suspicions on Seokjin’s actual involvement in his current predicament. Those suspicions are put in the backburner for now, however, as Yoongi actually feels like he might die of embarrassment instead of the packets of MSG coursing through his veins from the ten ramen packs he ate this morning. Maybe both will kill him, if he’s lucky.

“Well, I would love to lend you my uniform, but I haven’t gotten a t-shirt printed with your face on it yet, so you’ll have to deal with the kitten ears and cardboard sign for now,” Seokjin says, patting him on the back. “Or, would you rather I have you wear a shirt with my face on it? I’m open to suggestions.”

“I’d rather swallow a Tide pod, thanks,” Yoongi says through gritted teeth. “C’mon, let’s move. We’ve been standing in the middle of campus like street clowns for long enough. We need to find Y/N because her class is about to end.”

“Street clowns, huh? I guess you are only missing the make-up to complete the look, especially since you seem adamant to keep honking your way through that sickening crush of yours.” Seokjin nearly catches a punch to the head, but his superior reaction time saves him from Yoongi’s sorely lacking physicality. He snatches Yoongi by the hand, dragging them towards your lecture hall. “C’mon, clown! Let’s honk this bread!”

As the two of them get closer to where you are, Yoongi’s heartbeat begins to accelerate. He wonders idly if he should see a doctor after all this, hoping that he hadn’t actually contracted heart disease due to all this stress. Lord forbid that he meet his end before he even gets to ask you out or something!

Even though he’s already hugged you once (and it was, by far, the most euphoric experience of his sad, miserable life), he still finds himself getting clammy hands at the thought of seeing you again. Nevermind the fact that he looked like a walking circus with his get-up… No, Yoongi refuses to think about it anymore, lest his last remaining brain wrinkle irreversibly smoothens.

The campus clock rings loudly, signaling the end of another block of classes. Students rush out of the buildings, with you being one of the first ones out for a change. When Yoongi spots your head of hair among the crowd, he doesn’t immediately notice what you’re wearing at first. In fact, it’s Seokjin who stops in his tracks for a moment, surprised by how you look.

“Woah, Y/N! Looking good,” Seokjin greets, rushing past Yoongi to envelop you in a hug. (A platonic hug, Yoongi reminds himself. Because unlike Yoongi, Seokjin is a normal human being who can give hugs to anyone he wants because he’s… fucking Seokjin! Lucky bastard that he is.)

“Woah!” You laugh, surprised by the sudden hug. You pat him on the back giddily, allowing him to swing you around a little. “What’s this all about? Am I getting a hug-o-gram again?”

“Yes, you are. But not from me,” Seokjin detaches himself from you, scooting away to point at Yoongi. When Seokjin moves away, Yoongi finally understands why his hyung had said you looked good. No, that was an understatement––you looked [redacted].

(For the sake of the author’s fragile ash-coated heart, she has chosen to redact Yoongi’s exact words to protect herself from slamming her head against a keyboard from how cheesy this fic is becoming. Let’s just say the word starts with a B and ends with an L. Make of that as you will.)

You must have come out of an interview or presentation of sorts because you were dressed more nicely than you usually do, which is a pretty big deal considering how put together you always looked. Your hair is styled nicely, obviously given much more care and effort than your regular appearance. You’re wearing a cute little black dress, long enough to be professional but short enough to give Yoongi breathing problems.

If Yoongi’s brain had a playlist, it would be nothing but the sound of him going HNNNNNNNNNG on repeat.

“Oh geez.” Yoongi curses lowly, smiling through the pain. This is fine, he thinks, even though it is clearly not fine. Yoongi has always been a terrible liar.

“Yoongi?” You sound incredulous, though that’s honestly a win in Yoongi’s book considering everything. You didn’t look disgusted, so that’s great. “You look…” You stop yourself, covering your mouth to hide your grin but your amusement is palpable. At least he made you laugh, he supposes.

“Like a fucking idiot? You said it,” Yoongi snorts, arms crossed defiantly. He’s trying to look intimidating, but with his cheeks puffed up and these abominable kitten ears on his head, he looks more like a grumpy cat throwing a tantrum. He juts a thumb at Seokjin, “Thank this himbo for the outfit. I definitely would have chosen something more… inconspicuous.”

“But where’s the fun in that?” You quip, still trying to mask your giggles. On the other hand, Seokjin was wheezing like a hyena, his phone pulled out and presumably filming Yoongi to add to his cringe compilation.

“Exactly what I said!” Seokjin says through his laughter, tears of mirth streaming down his face. He walks back to Yoongi, pushing him forward until he’s face to face with you. “Go on, then! We haven’t got all day!”

“I’m assuming you’re officially part of Seokjin’s hug-o-gram business now?” you ask, opening your arms wide to accept his hug. Like the beta male that he is, Yoongi has to be the one to follow in your footsteps, meekly coming closer to wrap you in an embrace.

“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves,” Yoongi mutters, tucking his chin onto your shoulder. He feels you vibrate with laughter, bringing a small smile on his own face. He likes making you laugh, always has.

With the cardboard sign serving as a barrier between the two of you, he isn’t as fearful of you feeling the erratic beat of his heart, though it wouldn’t be hard to guess if you looked at him. He closes his eyes, allowing himself to enjoy your hug rather than just panic through the entire ordeal like yesterday.

Soon enough, you’re detaching yourself from him, still standing close. Your arm is just a hair’s breadth away, and if not for Seokjin enthusiastically videotaping this entire experience, Yoongi might have closed in for another hug if he could manage.

“It’s always nice to get a hug from someone you like, huh?” You say, cheeks tinted a rosy color. The true meaning of your words flies over Yoongi’s head, as his feeble mind chooses to focus on your comment a little differently.

“I––Of course I like you! We’re friends, aren’t we?” Yoongi laughs nervously, unaware that he’s slowly digging himself into a ditch. To the side, Seokjin audibly slaps a hand to his face, body shivering with secondhand embarrassment from being blasted by the full force of how idiotic his friend actually is.

Yoongi sees you deflate a little, further confusing him. “Yeah, you’re right I guess…” You sigh, taking a step backward dejectedly. Yoongi flounders a little, unsure how he managed to fuck up in just a few seconds when you had just hugged him like your life depended on it.

Choosing now to interfere before the going gets rough, Seokjin steps in between and slings an arm around both of you. Yoongi groans under the weight of his arm, glaring when he notices that Seokjin had done it on purpose, but only to him. You don’t look too bothered by his rude gesture, albeit you were more befuddled than before.

“Hey, Y/N! I don’t know if you’ve ever ordered a hug-o-gram before, but I’m doing a special this week! Now that Yoongi-chi has so kindly joined the team,” Seokjin gives him a pointed look, to which the black-haired music major sticks his tongue out petulantly, “we’re doing a little promotion for first-time customers! Would you be interested in ordering one?”

Your eyes widen, looking like a deer caught in headlights. “M-me? Ordering a hug-o-gram? Well, I…” you hesitate, sending a small glance at Yoongi before looking away in embarrassment. “I would like to, but I don’t know if it’ll be well received, you see…”

Seokjin grumbles, silently cursing the stupid shithead who caused his own demise in the first place. The worst part is that he had no idea that he totally just friendzoned you! YOU! Someone who was literally leagues ahead of him. He sincerely has no idea what you see in this bumbling idiot, but everyone with a brain knows that you have been crushing on him for as long as he’s been crushing on you, so perhaps you’re a little bit of an idiot yourself for liking him back.

Being friends with the two of you makes him feel like he’s constantly wearing a sloppy wet diaper, and he hates it. He wants to wipe his ass as soon as possible!

Seokjin shoves Yoongi away roughly, ignoring his indignant squawks as he pulls you aside. He takes you by the hand, taking you a few steps away from Yoongi, far enough that he can whisper into your ear without the other boy hearing.

Yoongi fumes from the sidelines, trying to keep his emotions in check even though he’s bursting at the seams with jealousy. Not for the first time, Yoongi irritably realizes that he does act like a cat, especially in moments like this. He might make fun of Seokjin for being an attention whore, but Yoongi is the same, if only at a smaller scale. He just wants you to look at him, as selfish as that sounds.

Can someone give him a break? He’s been holding in his crush for four years now… Imagine having to take a massive shit after drinking two gallons of milk while being lactose intolerant, except every time you line up for the washroom, the line gets increasingly long no matter how long you wait. That is the extent of his suffering, he tells himself. So please, excuse his dramatics for this one instance.

(Seokjin’s Note: This fucking jackass is SO stupid. If he only knew how easy it is to ask you out, he would know that his emotional constipation could be solved if he just fucking ASKED where the next washroom is. He could have relieved himself ages ago, but NO! And he calls me the idiot! Me! The utter betrayal! I’m never agreeing to become the second lead to a rom-com ever again!)

When Seokjin finishes whispering in your ears, you appear amused by what he had said. Yoongi sweats when you turn to face him, grinning slyly at him. “Is that so…” you wonder aloud. Yoongi feels like the world has shifted on its axis somewhat, though he still doesn’t know exactly how. He has a hunch that he’s going to find out soon enough.

“Would I ever lie to you?” Seokjin laughs that annoying laugh of his, slapping his thigh in the process. He straightens up almost immediately, his expression turning deadpan in an instant. “Send me the details by tonight, and I’ll make sure to deliver it, okay?”

“Promise?” You ask, holding a pinky up towards him. Yoongi might have let out a high pitched sob when he sees the gesture, wanting nothing more than to cup your hands in his. God, if he already nearly died from hugging you, who is to say Yoongi won’t immediately disintegrate if you were ever to hold his hand?

“Promise,” Seokjin replies, linking his pinky with yours. He doesn’t forget to point a shit-eating grin at Yoongi, for good measure.

You pull away, looking happier than you did moments prior. You were absolutely glowing, filling Yoongi with a warmth that only you ever knew how to provide. He wants to make you smile like that all the time, wants nothing more than for you to live beside him, filling his walls with the sound of your tinkling laughter. You wave cheerily at the both of them, stepping away to head home. “I guess I’ll see you, then? I’ll make sure to e-mail you my request, Seokjin!” you say, winking teasingly. “Bye to you too, Yoongi! Thanks for the hug!”

Yoongi watches as you walk further and further away as the usual melancholy that follows whenever you leave soon takes its place in his soul. It might be his imagination, but Yoongi thinks the cat ears on his head might have started to droop to match his mood.

The only way he knows how to replace the sadness, however, is by redirecting those emotions on an unsuspecting victim. Lucky for him, a willing volunteer is already within punching distance.

“Ow! Stop punching me, you gremlin!” Seokjin whines, blocking Yoongi’s series of punches like a pro. He might as well put ‘professional punching bag’ on his resume at this point. “I’m trying to help you, you useless beta male!”

“How is this helping! You made me wear cat ears and whispered blasphemies into Y/N’s ears! Now she’s going to order a hug-o-gram for her crush and it’ll be the end of my chances with her! How could you!”

“I was not whispering blasphemies, you twittering tit! I was giving her advice,” Seokjin sniffs, annoyed. “Don’t say I never help you, by the way. I’ve been trying to help you for years now.”

Yoongi hits him with a steely glare. “Really? So replacing all my clothes in my closet with clown attire is your version of help? I had to wear those stupid clown shoes for a week before you told me where you hid my clothes, jackass!”

“I was only trying to help you physically express yourself! You’re already a clown on paper, might as well help you achieve your final form!” Seokjin huffs, infuriatingly haughty. “Listen, believe me. I only told Y/N something that everyone already knows anyway, so just shut your trap and let Daddy handle the rest. You’re not going to lose her, I promise.”

“Please never refer to yourself as Daddy ever again,” Yoongi seethes, stalking off towards their car. “Don’t ever talk to me again.”

“No talk, Yoobie angy…” Seokjin snickers to himself, following Yoongi with a spring in his step. This bastard is going to grovel at his feet by tomorrow evening, he’s sure of it. If he doesn’t, then Seokjin will bite his own dick in half––that’s how sure he is of his plan! (Not that biting his dick in half will do anything to his length; he’d still be left with eight inches, let’s be real.) All in good time.

x x x x x

Seokjin gets an e-mail the next morning, much earlier than any sane person would choose to be awake at. He groans lowly, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes as he tries to read the contents of the letter. When he’s satisfied by what he has read, he forwards the e-mail to Yoongi before allowing sleep to take him once more.

Sleep evades him, however, when the sound of Yoongi’s big feet pounds noisily outside his bedroom. He hits his knee loudly against the coffee table, causing their beloved popcorn machine to tumble to the floor, but that is of little consequence to Yoongi right now. No, he needs to get into Seokjin’s room right now and scream––

“WHAT THE FUCK?” Yoongi hollers, slamming Seokjin’s door open. The hinges creak, desperately hanging on despite the impact. Yoongi proceeds to slam a fist upon Seokjin’s ass, who barely flinches due to the fatness of his ass cushioning most of the damage. He blinks blearily at Yoongi, but the smirk on his face is clear as day.

“Came to claim your hug so early in the morning? Well, I usually don’t entertain clients until after I’ve taken a shower, but for you… I’ll make an exception,” he yawns, peeling back his blanket and patting the empty spot on his bed. “Come on in, Yoobie Boobie… Let’s hug like it’s the last day on earth.”

Seokjin fails to realize that once he removed his blanket, he had inadvertently left himself vulnerable. Yoongi slams the heel of his foot against Seokjin’s groin, causing him to shriek bloody murder at 7 AM. He wonders, amidst his pain, whether this might be the last straw and that their landlord will finally kick them out after years of their stupid shenanigans.

“WHAT DID THAT E-MAIL MEAN? IF IT’S WHAT I THINK IT IS…” Yoongi threatens, but it’s as empty as Seokjin’s butthole. They both know the implications of that e-mail, even a toddler can put two and two together and make sense out of it. Anonymous e-mail or not, Seokjin wouldn’t just forward any hug-o-gram request to Yoongi, unless…

What did the e-mail say? It goes something like:

Dear Mr. Kim,

Thank you for offering your special promotion for new time customers of your Hug-o-gram Service! I’ve always been a quiet fan of your business idea, but I’ve always been a little shy to submit a request of my own. Thank you so much for giving me the little push that I needed to send my first (and hopefully last) hug.

I’d like to send a hug to Mr. Min Yoongi from the Music Department. I understand that he has recently been appointed an employee at your business, but seeing as how it’d be difficult for him to hug himself (while not entirely impossible), I’d like to request that you be the one to send the hug to him.

I don’t really have a message for him, per se… I’m still a little shy, even though you already told me that there is no reason to be. I want to believe what you said was true, so I’m pushing my fear aside and putting my fate into your hands. So, to Mr. Min Yoongi… “When I told you it was nice to hug someone you like, I don’t think you understood what I meant. A hug, after all, is a two-way street. They’re often served the best when it is reciprocated, if you catch my drift. :)”

Peace! :3

Regards,

[Redacted] [Redacted]

“Have your brain synapses finished connecting? Because if even this flies over your head, I’m sorry to say buddy but… You might have smooth brain syndrome,” Seokjin pipes up. He observes Yoongi’s brow crumpling, the first signal of his impending mental breakdown. If Seokjin remembers correctly, the next signal should be when––

Yoongi drops down to his knees, his phone clattering to the floor as he stares absently at the ceiling. Seokjin cringes, worried for the state of his friend’s frail kneecaps. The poor sap has bad heart health already; surely, it isn’t too early to get him a life alert button?

Seokjin scooches over his bed, dangling half his body over the edge to appraise his friend. “So. What do you plan to do now?”

For a moment, Yoongi remains silent. Eventually, he shuffles closer to him, perching his hands around Seokjin. The business student raises a brow, confused, until Yoongi pushes Seokjin back onto the middle of the bed so that he can cram himself beside Seokjin on his small double bed. He huffs amusedly, allowing the smaller boy to snuggle into his chest, though he still refuses to wrap his arms around him. Close enough, Seokjin snorts.

“I need your help, hyung.” Yoongi’s voice is small, shy. It’s so uncharacteristic of him that Seokjin immediately softens. They might act like toddlers together the majority of the time, but Seokjin truly does care about Yoongi more than anything. During early mornings like this, when the sun’s soft rays are filtering through his sheer curtains and filling the room with a gentle warmth, it’s nice to cuddle up with one another and enjoy the silence. In fact, Seokjin would never admit it to Yoongi, but he got the idea for his Hug-o-gram service from Yoongi himself, back when the younger boy would be more prone to sneaking into his bed during his bouts of loneliness and homesickness.

Above all else, Yoongi is just a boy with a lot of love to give, so who is Seokjin to say no to his pleas for help?

“You know I always got your back, Yoongi-chi. Whenever you’re ready, we can do whatever you want. Ask and you’ll receive,” he replies, caressing his soft black tresses. Yoongi hums, smiling softly into his chest.

“Thanks, dude. For being… you know.”

Seokjin’s heart pangs a little, but he ignores it. Instead, he continues combing through his hair, humming gently. “I know.”

x x x x x

It’s been a few days since you sent the e-mail to Seokjin and you haven’t heard back from him. You aren’t sure if he sends confirmation e-mails to his clients as you’d never asked for a hug-o-gram before, nor did you know anyone who has. You are forced to continue on with your days like normal, trying to ignore the unsettling anxiety from creeping up your throat and spewing all over the sidewalk.

If Seokjin hadn’t been lying to you, then there shouldn’t be anything to worry about. You’ve been harboring this crush on Yoongi for years now, and you never thought in your life that it would ever be reciprocated. He always seemed a little bit detached, a little too cool for you. Never mind the fact that he always seemed so jittery around you, like it was hard to talk to you or something!

Your answer comes on the last day of the week, after an especially rough day at class. Your back is bent, having finished a grueling four hour lab period where you did nothing but stand and stare at your reaction vessel spinning without any signal of change. You are just a little bit hangry from all the stress piling up on your plate, especially since you hadn’t eaten a decent meal since breakfast at 8 AM.

In short, life isn’t going as smoothly as you’d hoped for your senior year, but you can’t let the blues get to you too soon. After all, there are leftover chicken wings in your fridge with your name on it, and nothing beats your meat more than greasy poultry to end a terrible week.

You’re only inches away from sliding your keycard to open your shared dorm room when the door opens without prompting. You flinch backward, yelping loudly when your roommate Park Jimin grins slyly from the doorway––never a good sign, if you knew anything.

“Fancy seeing you here,” Jimin says, leaning casually against the door like he hadn’t just scared the living shit out of you. He takes one glance at your disheveled hair and lightly sweaty clothes before grimacing in disgust. “Girl, I can’t let you meet the love your life while you’re looking like that. Come on, we have a few minutes before he arrives. Let’s get you freshened up.”

“I’m sorry?” You squeak, allowing your roommate to manhandle you into your own home. He pushes you into your room, depositing you roughly onto your unmade bed. You try to make eye contact with him, but he’s too busy raiding your closet to pay you much attention. “Excuse me? What did you say just now?”

“No time, princess! Your Prince Charming is on the way, and I’ve been ordered by Seokjin to prepare you for this life-changing moment, so get your ass into gear and change into this!” He shoves a clean pair of jeans and a nicer-looking blouse at you before proceeding to grab your hairbrush and comb your tresses with the gentleness of a mother tigress. You shriek when the brush gets tangled in an especially stubborn knot, but Jimin is relentless. He nearly tears your hair by the roots, ignoring your pained whines.

“Will you fucking stop! I have literally no idea why you’re acting like a psycho all of a sudden–” You shout when Jimin begins to undress you, having to kick him in the chest to get him away from completely eradicating your remaining traces of dignity. “Okay, fine! I’ll dress myself! Just get out of my room and fucking stay away!”

Jimin looks at you dubiously for a split second, before eventually acquiescing. “You have two minutes to get changed. You wouldn’t want to keep him waiting, do you?” he says, smirking knowingly. He better dread the day that you finally wipe that annoying twinkle in his eye; it’s been a long time coming.

Left alone to your own devices, you do as Jimin says even though you’re still wildly confused by everything. To think you had been so excited to feast on your chicken wings, and instead, you went through a decade’s worth of torture within the last few minutes. Patting your hands on the butt of your jeans, you meekly take a step out of your bedroom, where Jimin is already tapping his foot impatiently by the door.

He motions for you to hurry up. “Let’s go! Seokjin says they’re rounding up the corner. Hold on,” he steps closer to you, raising your arm up to take a shameless sniff of your pits. “Sorry, had to make a pit stop. You can never be too sure,” he shrugs, disregarding your squawks of indignation.

“I smell fine! Now what are we–” Your sentence is cut short as Jimin all but carries you to the elevator, your shrieks of terror causing one or two of your neighbors to peek their heads out of their doors. When they see it’s just the two of you, they simply shrug their shoulders, returning to their lives like it was normal to see Jimin carry you in a fireman’s hold.

He doesn’t put you down until you reach the lobby of your dorm complex, barely out of breath despite having held you the entire way down. Stupid buff baby, you groan internally to yourself, straightening down your clothes in a desperate attempt to look decent. “Okay, we’re here. Who am I supposed to be meeting?”

In lieu of an answer, Jimin points wordlessly outside your building. A black car is parked on the other side of the road, and you can barely see a familiar head of hair poking out from the driver’s seat. “Seokjin? What the…” you trail off, before your eyes finally land on their target.

Yoongi stands outside the glass doorway, not dressed in his usual all-black attire. He’s wearing an outrageously cute pink shirt today, matching the color of his natural flush. He always looks effortlessly good, with his hair a little windswept in that boyishly cute way. Your mouth goes a little dry when you realize he’s wearing his famous leather jacket, the one that always got the girls and boys swooning when he walked past in them. You hated how whipped for him you were, not wanting to be like the weird kids in his secret fan club, but who can blame you? He’s just so…

You rip open the door, nearly tripping and falling over the short steps leading to the entrance. You grind to a halt in front of him and you’re acutely aware of how rabid you must look. Your chest is pounding, like your heart is begging you to step closer, just like when you had hugged him all those days ago. God, you were going to kill Park Jimin for this.

“Yoongi? What are you…” You take one look at him before your gaze drops to his hands folded carefully behind his back. It doesn’t hide the fact that there is an obvious bouquet of flowers behind him, though. Your face lights on fire when you notice they were your favorite flowers too.

“I’m here to deliver a hug?” Yoongi says it like he’s unsure of himself, but there’s a little coyness laced in his tone. His cheeks are painted a soft pink, and not for the first time, they remind you of freshly baked bread pulled out from the oven. Soft enough to kiss, you wonder idly to yourself.

“I mean… I did order a hug a few days ago, but I do recall not ordering one for myself?” you laugh a little hysterically, your breath cutting short when Yoongi grins softly in response. “I… Who is this hug from?”

Yoongi takes a glance back towards Seokjin. “Hey, boss. Am I allowed to reveal who the secret admirers are, or will that get me fired?”

Seokjin, despite being a few meters away, laughs loud enough for the whole street to hear. “Well, Yoongi-chi. Something tells me your resignation letter was coming in the mail eventually. Who cares about the rules at this point?”

“He’s right,” you quip, pulling Yoongi’s attention back. You’re smiling wide now, your hopes and dreams skyrocketing in your chest and blooming a garden in your heart. “Who cares, right?”

“Right,” Yoongi agrees, taking the last two steps he needs to get closer to you. He drops the bouquet somewhere behind you before finally, finally, embracing you once more. He kisses you gently on the forehead, the contact short and sweet.

You feel like you’re dying, but it’s all good because Yoongi looks just as embarrassed as you. But none of it matters, not when both your happiness is palpable in the air.

“Y/N…”

“Yes?”

“This hug-o-gram is from me to you. Will you go out with me?”

You’ve always been a firm believer that actions speak louder than words. So when you lean in to plant your first kiss of many many more, he knows your answer well enough.

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