#you might not agree with where I put certain social media

[teamatsumu]

compression. (sakusa kiyoomi x reader)

summary: atsumu is the perfect person to feed your obsession with kiyoomi’s arms.

word count: 1172

warnings: swearing, very mildly suggestive (if you squint), detailed descriptions of kiyoomi’s arms in compression sleeves so it’s not for the faint hearted

tags: @keiva1000 @kindnessspreads @msbyomimi

When you studied Marketing and Communications in university, you didn’t exactly anticipate that your future would include you managing a V League Division 1 sports team. But every day when you went into work, you thanked the gods above that this is where your career path had led you, because that meant you could ogle Sakusa Kiyoomi and his infamous compression sleeves all day.

Oftentimes you were certain Kiyoomi didn’t mean anything by them. For him, they were practical. They kept his arms taut and ready for the ball. They made his movements sharper. He received the ball better. He didn’t have to feel his bare skin on the dirty court. These were all reasons you had heard straight out of his mouth. When you heard him mention them so nonchalantly, it almost made you feel bad for the absolutely sinful- borderline deranged- thoughts you had in your head about the way those sleeves made his arms look.

You were well aware of the kind of thoughts Kiyoomi’s choice of athletic wear caused among his fans. To put it simply and bluntly, they went feral over it. There were whole Twitter accounts dedicated to just his arms, or his chest. And as someone who often managed social media profiles for some of the members, you got to see the most unhinged of these comments with your own two eyes. And you would be the first to (secretly) admit that you agreed with 90% of what was being said, because holy shit did those sleeves do something to you.

Most of the time during practice, you could feel your eyes drift back over to the man in question, wearing a black sports tee and those godforsaken sleeves, working up quite the set as they played set after set to prepare for their next game. As the hours passed, Kiyoomi would get more and more disheveled, curls becoming unruly enough that he would grab a towel, biceps flexing as he ran it over the nape of his neck and dipped into the collar of his shirt. Christ almighty.

You should’ve known that you would eventually get caught. But if it was anyone who would notice, you had expected it to be Meian or maybe Coach Foster. But the person who did bring it up to you happened to be the biggest nightmare in this scenario; Miya Atsumu.

“Ya should be a little less obvious ‘bout it.” He commented when he trudged over to the bench where you sat, grabbing a water bottle and beginning to chug. You tore your eyes from Kiyoomi who now had his back to you, the muscles under his shirt flexing with every movement. You raised an eyebrow at the blond, not yet correlating his words with your hidden obsession. He placed the bottle down and placed a hand on his hip, giving you a knowing smirk.

“A blind grandma could notice the way yer lookin’ at him.”

Your eyes widened and cheeks flamed when he nudged his head in Kiyoomi’s direction, and you knew you had been caught. You clenched your jaw hard.

“You say a single word-”

He threw his hands up as if in surrender, effectively silencing your threat in its tracks.

“I won’t, promise! But there is one thing…..”

You groaned loudly, throwing your head back. Of course, of fucking course he would blackmail you with this.

“What do you want?” You deadpanned, glaring at him and preparing for the worst.

Atsumu looked a bit affronted, as if the mere insinuation that he might want something was preposterous to him. You gave him another tired look, until he sighed and gave up, plopping down heavily on the bench next to you.

“A phone number. Ya know that cute girl who comes by once a month? From the Volleyball Association?”

“No.”

Atsumu’s mouth dropped like a child who just got slapped. “Hey c’mon! Ya didn’t even hear me out!”

You groaned and pinched the bridge of your nose, feeling a characteristic frontal headache begin to build, courtesy of Miya Atsumu. “I’m tired of setting you up with people, Tsumu! It won’t end well, as always-”

“I’ll get you a picture of Omi with his compression sleeves.”

You give him an unimpressed look. “I can get hundreds of those off the internet.”

“I’ll get you a picture of Omi with just his compression sleeves.”

That made you halt in your tracks. You searched Atsumu’s face for any form of mockery or lie, and you found none. Your eyebrows shot up when you realized he was being serious.

“In the locker room. I can get it for ya today.”

Oh my god. Instinctively, your eyes darted over to the man in question, who was talking to Hinata about something. It looked like volleyball tips since he had his arms before him in a receiving position, and Hinata was rapidly nodding to what he was saying.

“No.” You shook your head. “No, that’s wrong.”

“I’ll take a selfie with him, yeah? He will know there’s a photo. And I can send it in the groupchat.”

You look back at Atsumu, seriously contemplating his offer. He kept yapping, as per usual, thinking that the more he talked, the likelier it would be to convince you. And the bastard was right, it was working.

“No one else will bat an eye. We see each other in the lockers all the time. No big deal.”

You bit your lip in thought. The possibility of seeing Kiyoomi shirtless and only in compression sleeves had your pulse rising.

“And you just want her number in return?”

Atsumu nodded eagerly. You gave him a narrow-eyed glare.

“Send the picture. Then I will give you the number.”

His triumphant grin made it feel like he had already won. “Deal.”

That evening, when your phone pinged with a text notification, you nearly flew across the bed to grab it, opening the picture Atsumu sent in the groupchat with eager fingers and freezing as soon as you laid eyes on it.

Atsumu had held up his end of the bargain spectacularly.

He had taken the picture with Kiyoomi a little further in the background, so he could get the man’s full torso in it. He was facing slightly away from the camera, but his face was turned towards it, capturing the scowl between his eyebrows and the little pout of his mouth. He was gloriously shirtless, still a bit sweaty from practice, and he held his shirt in his hand, one arm flexed as he held it while the other was held carelessly by his side, compression sleeves hugging the cords of toned muscles just right.

There was another ping, pulling you out of your trance and making you realize just how dry your mouth had gotten. Atsumu had messaged you privately.

“My payment? ;)”

You rolled your eyes and sent him the number, immediately going back to the picture and starring it for future reference, a tiny smile quirking up the corner of your lip as you did so.

[strawberrysainz]

pretty visitors. charles leclerc

“ at carlos and isa’s wedding, a certain someone can’t seem to take his eyes off of you. you can’t either. ”

charles leclerc x reader

a warning — crude language and alcohol consumption.

from leila; “a short little something for ya. xx”

The wedding photographer was calling Isa’s friends to come take a picture, and you downed the champagne you were holding, dropping your belongings on the table chaotically before rushing outside the tent to the beautiful lawn in the forefront of the vineyard.

It was a gorgeous Spanish summer evening, absolutely perfect conditions to hold a wedding, and you couldn’t help but get a little emotional with nostalgia when you see Isa laughing in the glow of the early evening, remembering the chaos of your early twenties trying to learn Spanish from her, then going to work in motorsport- where your personal and work lives crossed when you accidentally introduced Carlos to Isa.

You hugged her again, surrounded by all of these lovely women from all over, and she kissed your cheek.

“Tu es si belle [you are so beautiful],” you say in French, pursing your lips trying not to cry again, and everyone agrees loudly, emotional on the champagne.

“Shut up,” Isa says. “I’ve tried not to cry the whole day and now you might make me.” You laugh, and everyone follows.

Many pictures are taken, and more champagne is poured while the newlyweds walk around, grasping hands.

You head back to the table to get your phone quickly, wanting to take pictures of the gradual setting sun, when you see Charles putting his things down next to your seat. “Ah, you are my seat buddy?” You say, smiling, and he brings you in for a hug. “Ravi de vous voir [nice to see you]” he answers with a peck to your cheeks, and you pick up your phone. “Please can I take a picture of you and Carlos!” You shout, slightly tipsy, yielding it, and he rolls his eyes. “Don’t you dare send it to the social media team.”

You wink.

Eventually you manage to get Carlos with him to take a picture while the sun sets, and someone’s aunt comes to snatch your phone. “Ve a estar con ellos [go be with them],” your rusty Spanish helps you, and you go to stand in the middle; Charles taps Carlos. “Kiss her cheek!”

You laugh when they both smush their lips on your cheeks, giggling uncontrollably as the auntie grins from behind your phone.

Someone gets Isa to join in, running in between them to kiss you on the lips, and Carlos gasps dramatically. “Ay! Ay why do you steal my bride?”

You nearly can’t breathe when you get your phone back, cooing at the photos you got.

💌💋💐💿🍓

Dinner flies by; you’re seated with Charles, Lando, Daniel and Heidi, a few of your friends from the paddock, and from home, and their partners. You laugh and get progressively more drunk as the night continues.

You find yourself resting your cheek against Charles’ for Lando’s camera, and your smile is wide and real.

Eventually the first dance happens, and suddenly you’re all dancing, and then the stronger drinks are distributed, and the night gets more fun.

You find yourself dancing with Charles, spinning and jumping, and your silky dress is a blur, his grinning face imprinted in your mind.

Eventually you stop, going outside for a breather, and he follows you.

The alcohol has finally hit you like a train, and your smile is bright and boozy as you sit on the grass in the fresh night air.

He sits down next to you, eyes droopy, and you rest your head on his shoulder with a drunken huff.

A slow song is playing from inside, and he stands up unsteadily, pulling you up, and he dances with you, swaying slowly.

You gaze into his eyes, heart beating wildly in that way only this night could describe.

“Tu es incroyablement belle [you are incredibly beautiful],” he whispers, and your eyes soften.

Daniel calls for the two of you loudly, and you reply, breaking away with a reluctance you didn’t realise you had.

The party carries on, Lando stealing the DJ’s job, and you find yourself stealing glances at Charles every moment you can get, looking away hurriedly when he does the same.

“There’s something about a wedding, no?” A friend shouts in your ear, and you giggle, nodding.

Charles brushes your arm about an hour later at the bar, ordering something strong, and he murmurs something too soft in your ear for you to hear. His lips on your ear make you shiver though, so when his fingers grasp your arm you nearly lose yourself in him.

“Charles,” you slur. “I’m too drunk to kiss you right now.”

He cackles then, and loses his balance; you grab him with an equally loud laugh.

“I know, me too. Tomorrow. I promise.” He says, and kisses your cheek. You hug him tight then, whispering promises of forever.

💌💋💐💿🍓

A pounding headache wakes you up the next morning, two of your friends next to you in the king sized bed. You yawn, getting up to make coffee and get something to help with the hangover.

After you resemble a functional being, you try to look through the mess of the villa to find your nearly-dead phone, where texts from Charles from last night await you.

4:23

Noo why did you go to b Ed

Lando and i are still shooting Jägers

4:56

i think I wil L go to bed later now maybe

Borin G without you

5:20

Fuck I got ya be awake soon

Nibht night

9:50

Please don’t read any of that please

Gonna go get some croissants and orange juice please find a 🍾 so we can make some mimosas i want to drink still lol

We can have a nice brunch thing by the patio

Save me a kiss

The last text leaves you somewhat bashful, and you try to rake a hand through your knotted hair, yawning, opening the fridge to get a bottle of champagne and two glasses to set on the counter.

A knock on the door some minutes later makes you grab the things and take them to greet him. He sets down a blanket on the grass; you put down the bottle and glasses next to his bag of fresh croissants.

“I’m sorry I’m still in my pyjamas,” you laugh, and the smirk on his face makes you blush. “I think you look cute.”

“Cute enough for a kiss?” You say, scrunching your nose, and he hands you the mimosa.

“The cutest.”

His kiss brought the sun, and you could bask in it forever.

💌💋💐💿🍓

yourinstagram

holy shit my besties got married, isa & carlos may your love last forever. proudest to know you. also you know im serious when there’s an outfit change 🖤

tagged: isahernaez, carlossainz55

landonorris you were the worst bridesmaid

username y/n living my life rn

danielricciardo enchanté

username AWWWW … but who that 🥸

username i may be delulu but that could be mr charles himself…..

isahernaez ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

charlesleclerc

you guys finally got married. beautiful beautiful couple ❤️‍🔥

username HOL UP THATS yourinstagram BLACK DRESS ???????

carlossainz55 can’t drink jägerbombs again after you mate

username 😳😳😳😳 Y/N??????

username charles you are NOT subtle

heidiberger_ thanks for being the photographer! lando was awful

landonorris girl????

lando.jpg

going to the chapel and we’re….

username THAT IS Y/N’S BLACK DRESS AND CHARLES HAIR. OMFG

author’s note — if you have requests, feel free to send in! 💌

masterlist

[findingnemosworld]

𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐫𝐞 - 𝐝𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐤 𝐬𝐳𝐨𝐛𝐨𝐬𝐳𝐥𝐚𝐢

・𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐲: 𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐲𝐦𝐨𝐮𝐬

(𝐛𝐚𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭)

𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐚 𝐛𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐟 𝐦𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭, 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐠𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐜𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐡𝐚𝐮𝐧𝐭𝐬 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐬 𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐞𝐧𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐥𝐲 𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐤𝐬 𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐠𝐬, 𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐨 𝐰𝐨𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫, 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐨𝐧 𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐡 𝐝𝐨𝐞𝐬 𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐞𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐡𝐞𝐫?

𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠: 𝐛𝐨𝐝𝐲 𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐮𝐞𝐬, 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐥 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐭𝐡 𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐮𝐞𝐬 … (𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐬)

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐮𝐥𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐚𝐬 𝐰𝐞𝐥𝐥 𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐞𝐥𝐭 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐲

"Y/N ... Y/N ... you need any help in there?" Kylie, Trent's girlfriend calls out as she sat outside of the fitting room waiting on her friend to try the dresses on.

Y/N stood on the other side of the curtain, looking at her reflection with clear disgust evident across her features, as soon as she was able to zip the dress up, she spots the flaws out almost instantly, sure the dress was her size which was nice but the fact of the matter is, all she could see in that moment was fat, nothing but fat.

Her relationship with food was unhealthy at best, there were times where she over indulged in eating, and other times where she'd skip meals and eat as little as possible, it all stemmed from how her mother used to claim that she was helping her by indirectly shaming her everytime she so much as put any type of food in her mouth.

"Stop eating so much!" "Do you not see how much weight you've gained?" "No one will ever love a fat girl ..." "You need to lose weight ..."

Everytime she tried to eat, she could hear her mother's voice echoing in the back of her mind, and while she tried to conceal the pain from everyone around her, including her boyfriend of two and a half years, Dominik -she wasn't certain just how long she can keep it up- with a heavy sigh, she steps out and says with a dejected tone. "I don't think this fits."

Kylie frowns in concern at the dejection in her friend's tone, "What do you mean?" she asks, "You look gorgeous."

"Kylie, I have literal pouches of fat on my sides." she replies, standing sideways in front of the mirror, "Look at this, and a belly too!" she sighs then looks at Kylie, "I'll just make up an excuse and tell Dom, I'm not going."

Kylie rushes to her and says, "No, you're not." she interjects with a stern tone, "You aren't fat ..."

"Kylie, I weigh a hundred and seventy one pounds, that's fat." Y/N groans.

"Absolutely not, you are gorgeous ... and I'm sure Dominik would agree, otherwise why do you think he's so crazy about you?" Kylie reminds her.

Y/N thinks back to the moment she and Dominik met, she was an intern at the time working in the pediatric ward, the Liverpool football club were making the rounds in Christmas delievering kids to the children there, and while she had minimal knowledge about football, somehow she had managed to capture Dominik's attention with the way she tended and looked after those young children.

A small conversation lead to them exchanging phone numbers as well as their social media handles, he would text her whenever he wasn't able to call and when he could call, the conversations would last for hours, they discovered a lot of common ground between them, both of them came from humble homes as well as the fact that they had a less than stellar relationship with their parents, he with his father and her with her mother.

"He can do better, have you seen him?" Y/N sighs, "He's literally an adnois and I'm plain as they can get."

"Ok, you need to stop the pity party ..." Kylie groans, "You're getting this dress, and I'm doing your makeup, we will all go to the event and have the time of our lives," she pauses and gives her a sweet smile, "Trust me when I say that Dominik, is going to love the dress on you, might even take it off." she nudged her playfully.

"Kylie." Y/N groans.

Admittedly, Kylie's words had somehow managed to cheer her up, she was able to recover from whatever downer she was in rather quickly, however despite that, she couldn't shake the intrusive thoughts out of her mind -Dominik was in fact gorgeous, everyone could see it whenever he'd post on his socials, or make a public appearance anywhere for that matter- so why would he be so accepting of the fact that she looked so, .... unflattering.

That night, she was in bed, waiting for them, scrolling through her phone when the sound of footsteps caused her to look up; that's when she saw Dominik enter their bedroom. "Hi baba." he greets her with a soft smile, plopping down on the bed to give her a gentle kiss.

"Hi." she replied softly, kissing him back. "Rough day at training huh?" she murmurs.

"Oh you wouldn't believe it." he chuckles, curling up next to her. "What are you looking at?"

She quickly exits the search bar and says, "Oh ... um, erm ..." she stammers before smiling. "Nothing, just ... um." she pauses before finally muttering. "Stuff."

His eyes narrow in suspicion, "Stuff?" he repeats with an inquisitive tone, "What kind of stuff?"

"Nothing important," she waves him off before adding, "Are you hungry?"

"Uh ... yeah." he replied, "But I'll just go make myself something, you don't have to do anything."

"No, it's ok." she smiles, "I'll make you something." she kissed his cheek then all but sprinted out of their bedroom to the kitchen.

To say that Dominik was confused would be an understatement, she never seemed so secretive before, as they'd tell each other just about everything -and by everything, he means everything- this was unlike her, he made a mental note to ask Trent to ask Kylie if she noticed anyhing odd about Y/N.

A few minutes later, he hears. "Dom, come here!"

He walks out of the bedroom, and indeed, she made a sandwich and a salad on the side with a glass of freshly squeezed orange juice, "Baba, you didn't have to do all of this!" he said with a soft tone.

"Shhh, now sit down and eat." she smiles.

He sits on the barstool near the counter to eat, silently observing her as she cleaned up the kitchen counters, dishes and utilities, he hesitated for a moment before asking her. "Did you eat?"

She froze for a mere second, before nodding and croaking out a soft. "Yes, I did."

Just before he could ask further, her stomach growled rather loudly causing Dominik to frown, "Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure." she interjects.

"Baba, ... don't lie to me." he said with a stern yet soft tone. "Come here!"

"Dom," she began with a soft tone.

"I said, come here!" Dominik said softly.

Y/N walks over to him, "What?" she murmurs.

"Sit." he said with a commanding tone, gesturing to the stool next to his.

"Dominik." Y/N groans.

"I said ... sit." he looks at her with a pointed glare.

She sits down, then he proceeds to cut a part of his sandwich and hands it to her, "Eat!"

"I don't feel like it!" she murmurs.

"Baba, I love you but you are not sleeping tonight with an empty stomach so eat." he replied with a soft tone.

Reluctantly, she began to eat the half sandwich in small bites, with each bite she chewed, she could see her mother's displeased look flash across her eyes, once she miraculously managed to finish the sandwich, Dominik pushes the salad bowl between them, grabbing another fork, "Now, we eat the salad." he said.

"I'm full." she said in an attempt to convince him.

"Baba." he groans.

"Alright, alright ..." she sighs,

After they finish eating, Dominik looks at her. "I don't know what brought this on, but please, ..." he said, squeezing her hands. "Don't lie to me."

"Ok." she murmurs softly.

Yet she couldn't help it, she would often skip meals, choosing to live off of power bars and water bottles then claim that she ate whenever Dominik or anyone asks her, she would stand on the scale ten times a day, nearly throwing up whenever she doesn't see a difference, almost as if the scale was mocking her and spelling out, three disgusting letters.

F ... A ... T

However, by some miracle she began to notice a rapid change in the following weeks, the small pouches were vanishing, the belly fat she had, had somewhat lessened -and once she tried on the dress she had purchased with Kylie one day when Dominik was in training, she felt somewhat confident, and presistent to lose more and more- unaware of the spiral she was now in.

On the night of the party, Dominik was adjusting his shirt in front of the full length mirror, he reached for his watch when the sound of the bathroom door opening caused him to look up; that's when he felt his heart nearly leaping out of his chest to run to her. "Baba, you look ..." he whispers.

"Does it look bad?" she asks hesitantly.

"Bad!" Dominik exclaims incredulously, "Baba you look amazing but ..." he paused, "Did you ....?"

"Did I what?" she asks with a soft tone.

"Did you ... lose weight?" Dominik asks, with a surprised expression.

"I ... uh, ... uh." she stammers before nodding silently.

"Why? was all he could muster up, "Why would you do that?"

"It wasn't my fault." she deflects almost immediately, "You know, with the double shifts, and calls I get, i'm bound to become stressed."

"Baba." Dominik sighs, "You're lying again."

"What?" she replied. "No, no ... I'm not, i swear."

"Don't do that ..." Dominik interjects with a pained look, "You think I haven't noticed?" he said.

"Huh?" she murmurs.

"You skip meals, and when you eat, you eat so slow that by the time I finish my plate, you claim to be full, ... I mean," he sighs and shakes his head, "You stopped arguing about sharing our favorite chocolate cake with me, claiming that you don't want it."

"But ..." she begins.

"Let me finish!" Dominik said, "I saw your phone screen last week, when you accidentally left your phone open, I mean seriously Y/N, 'How to lose weight faster?' ... and I saw the box of power bars you keep stashed behind your side of the closet."

Y/N was unable to form a word in response, feeling like a child being scolded by their parent for stealing a cookie. "I ..." she croaks out.

"I just don't understand why?" he whispers dejected, "Baba, you're the most gorgeous and intelligent girl I know, why do you want to resort to these dumb ways to fit in society?"

"Because I never felt pretty!" she finally admits.

"What?" he whispers, shocked by her admission.

"It's the truth!" Y/N murmurs, wiping away her stray tears. "Remember when you asked me why my mum and I barely talk." she adds on.

"Yeah, you said it's because she wanted you to help her with her boutique." he replies, recalling their many conversations.

"Well our reason for barely talking, for our ridiculously strained relationship is food." she said, inhaling then exhaling a deep breath before she said. "I have PCOS."

"What's that?" he asks with a frown.

"It's a hormonal dysfunction that a majority of women suffer from, I just so happen to be one of them, it causes weight fluctuation, absent periods, hair growing on my face often, my body too ... and while I can control the hair, and the whole period thing," she said with a broken voice. "The weight has never been something I can handle, bcause I have a toxic relationship with food, all thanks to my ..." she choked back a sob.

"Your mother ..." he deduced before grabbing her hand, "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't want to admit it, I thought I had it under control ..." she said softly, "Until that day, the match against City ... when I was sitting next to all of the WAG's"

"Did they say anything?" he asks her, concerned that they may have said something to her.

"No ... no, they were very kind to me, they didn't say anything to me." she said, shaking her head. "They didn't have to ... it was me, I." she sniffles, "I kept looking at them, how perfect they looked, and then I looked at myself and wondered why you're still with me."

"Baba," he sighs softly.

"I'm serious Dominik, ..." she murmurs, "You're so fucking perfect, an amazing footballer, an amazing human, and you deserve to be seen with a successful person."

"I am with a successful person." Dominik interjects.

"Huh?" she tilts her head, shocked by what he said.

"You don't understand do you?" Dominik smiles, leading her to stand in front of the full length mirror.

She stares at her reflection in the mirror, "Dominik?"

"The girl I fell in love with, didn't attract me because of her beauty ..." he began, before quickly adding. "Although that was an added plus, the real reason I was drawn to her was because of her spirit, the fact that she tends to those children so gently, made me imagine us when we we are older, where she'd look after our children and me, ... I was drawn to her because out of all the girls I met in my life, she didn't look at me because I played football, she didn't make me feel stupid because I had no idea what she spoke about whenever she talked about her work in the hospital," he murmurs, pressing a kiss to the side of her head.

Her eyes water, "Dom?"

"Baba, ... you drew me in because you're unique," he said with a gentle tone, "You keep on my toes, you make me feel like I'm the luckiest man out there, do you have any idea how much I annoy my mother because I talk about you?" he chuckles.

"You do?" she said softly.

"Oh trust me when I say that my mother loves you more than I do, and admittedly that makes me jealous because I just want to keep you all to myself." he whispers playfully, turning her around to face him, "my point is ..." he cradles her face between his hands, "You are the most beautiful and successful girl I know, and I love you just the way you are."

He leans in to peck her lips, causing her to smile tearfully. "What did I do to deserve you?" she murmurs.

"Being an incredible person, that's why." he embraces her, "I love you baba."

"I love you too." she whispers, clinging onto him.

[bubbleddisasters]

HSR THOUGHTS:

—————————

Topaz and Guinafen: Topaz’s Apple White Syndrome vs Guinafen’s Lore and Experience.

————

This thought came to me when I added these two on a team together.

Diving right in, Apple White Syndrome is a name I’ve given to Characters who were or are under very specific and rare conditions in which they benefit or are benefited, and pressure others to follow suit in belief it is for the greater good, but it in reality puts others in far more suffering, and only benefits a select few if lucky.

Another Character who can be used as an example for this is Riddle Rosehearts pre-Overblot, but in a far more distant way.

Topaz’s world was saved by the IPC because their demand was that everyone, everyone in an entire world agreed to join them. Those odds are horrendously slim, but by sheer luck, everyone did agree. Because of this, the IPC did comply and save them, leading Topaz to believe the IPC and its work is actually good for the people.

Guinafen suffered immensely because of the IPC, when her world was completely destroyed by the Antimatter Legion, before her parents death, they sent, her, her siblings and ONE trusted family friend to be their legal guardian, and shipped them away to safety.

They landed on a mining planet taken over by the IPC.

After explaining their situation and expecting rescue or relief, not only did the IPC do absolutely nothing, they put those old enough to work in forced labor camps, lowkey slavery and even with that, the younger children who couldn’t work were under horrendous circumstances, living in a cave, given little to no payment; food or basic necessities, to the point the youngest often fought over lizards to eat. Directly after loosing everything and being stranded, they were immediately put through more shit. No mercy.

(Pre- existing Residents of this planet faced these conditions aswell, but possibly still had their homes)

The adult later passed on due to physical strain and exhaustion. Aka worked to death. Her three eldest brothers then turned to (space) piracy as a way of survival, they were later captured and executed, but pleaded safety for the youngest.

This lead to her arrival on the Xianzhou, Later meeting Sushang, who gave her the name Guinafen (her real name is Guinevere)

Working up from nothing, basically homeless and preforming on the street, got involved with a major government and supernatural conspiracy, then later becoming a planet famous social media influencer.

I think because of her experience, Guinafen would be the perfect person to knock some sense into Topaz.

Guinafen would most definitely take her by surprise, because of her naturally cheery nature, happy go lucky attitude and the fact she chose to move on. She’s the type of person who has either moved on, or created a mask even Sparkle would applaud at to cover that pain.

I think it’s majorly the former. She has chosen to continue life as best she can, restart from nothing.

This woman was once a noble, practically princess, of a world and planet now nonexistent. Someone who has become common passerby’s with Death, Dined with Thrist, Danced with Starvation and was cradled by Misery, but she made it out alive.

As a normal person in the Honkai Verse, When you see her online, filming ghost videos, or in the streets doing tricks, you’d never be able to guess that, would you?

I can imagine Topaz wouldn’t clock this, as most wouldn’t. I can imagine Topaz continuously praising the IPC for their help with her planet somehow in conversation, and Guinafen keeping her temper for a good while, pointing out certain things that seem extensively situational, but if it goes on for too long, she might, and has every right to snap.

I was thinking of it similarly to the scene in Ever After High where Apple is continuously stating how everyone should follow their destiny’s, and is happy Raven agreed to sign, and Briar, rightfully, snaps.

“Follow our destiny’s? Thats easy for you to say, Apple. You get poisoned for what, a week? I’m going to loose 100 years of my life. Everyone I love will be dead when I wake up.”

-Briar Beauty (Quote from memory so might not be as accurate)

That scene in particular. I think it would be actually amazing for Sushang, Seele or Bronya to be there aswell, given the entirety of the Belabog incident and the Aurem Alley issues. Just get someone to force her to really see the real effects of the IPC, as she actually possesses the ability to change some of it for the better.

“Look, I’m glad the IPC saved your planet, really, thats great for you, but you can’t tell me they are good people.

Good people don’t immediately take advantage of refugees who just lost everything, especially when only one of them is an adult.

Good people don’t let children get so hungry they fight over lizards like wild animals.

Good people don’t work the only adult with those children to death and leave them to fend for themselves, then get angry and pin the blame on them when they turn to piracy to survive.

Besides, did you ever stop to realize or think about the fact that they probably thought there was no way everyone would agree to that? They would get people forced to work for them either way, by their own will or against it.”

I don’t know alot about Topaz, so somethings on her side might be inaccurate, but I’ve read through all of Guinafens lore, and DAMN, shits sad. Her and Aventurine be traumabonding on my team trust.

Anyway, thats just some thoughts!

[clarabowmp3]

hate brigade? I'm sorry but joe alwyn is directly responsible for a lot of the mental hurt that taylor will have to deal with for the rest of her life. I don't understand how people can hear sll, half the songs on midnights not to mention the anxiety ridden lover album and not see the emotional gaslighting joe was putting taylor through! Like that takes a toll and fans qnd the general public alike has a right to call that out. Now he's saying ish about tayvis when none of this concerns him?? Like if that's not manipulative, my name is Bennett cuz he's literally re inserting himself into the ex he resented' life. Unhinged if you ask me. So I don't think it's fair to characterize people as doing the most in this case. Alwyn could have just kept quiet and ate and ate food but now he deserves the dragging. Peace.

wowww wow okay so a couple of things:

we don't know much about their relationship. all we have is speculation based on taylor's lyrics, but we have to remember she is an unreliable narrator, so at best we can take them with a grain of salt. that is excluding how she might have modified certain things to present herself in a favourable light. I'm not saying she did or didn't, but it's a possibility. I say this because of how she's written music about her cheating. She very obviously focuses on how she was feeling and what led her to cheat, rather than her considerations of how it would affect her partner, which I think is yet another manifestation of how she perpetuates her victim narrative. I'm not saying all cheaters are villains, there's definitely some complex emotions involved, but she writes in such a way so as to encourage the reader to root for her by default.

This plays into her desire to be seen as the underdog or hero that everyone wants to support. She did this with Miss Americana too where she spun this whole standing up for women and other marginalised groups narrative, which I think contributed to being a swiftie becoming a trend, along with her whole 'relatable' schtick, fostering personal relationships etc.

There is nothing wrong with liking her music (I'm not gatekeeping), my issue is with people who treat becoming a swiftie as some girl scouts patch to earn by ripping into her 'enemies,' most popularly her exes. Naturally, he has been put through hell on social media since the break-up, up till ttpd dropped and the attention shifted to matty instead.

I agree that many of her love songs from as early as lover are anxiety-ridden, but I think that speaks more to her personality rather than his actions. Certain events may have transpired and he might have acted in a certain way which made her feel insecure etc but we have no reason to think he did it maliciously. What we do have is reason to think this is extremely unlikely. 2016 was rough man, no one knew if she would ever recover from #taylorswiftisoverparty, and yet he still stuck around. To me I think that shows he genuinely cared about her, something taylor has also thought.

Could you elaborate on the emotional gaslighting he has done, (and hence the "mental hurt" he has caused her) keeping in mind all those other reasons why her music is not an accurate source of info ^^?

getting more specific with sll, I don't see how he did anything wrong? I don't want to get too much into it but I know what it feels like to be burdened by someone else's mental health issues, and I do feel irritated by it at times, even though at the end of the day I know it's something they can't control. There's nothing wrong with creating art about difficult emotions, but I think she did not need to release it for the whole world to hear, knowing that they know who she is talking about. The song itself isn't too egregious, she just expresses her frustration with the whole situation ("you'll find someone," "I'm not the one" -> even she doesn't blame him for anything let alone the emotional gaslighting you're accusing him of anon what are you on 😭) the main problem is when people like you use it to villainise joe. like explain to me what part of it shows his gaslighting

For context here is what the whole deuxmoi thing is about, taken from this post:

You can clearly see that he was expressing an opinion on what he thought was a private enough setting. How could he have known he was going to be overheard and it was going to leak to the internet and eventually reach taylor (if any of this ie even true)? She is his ex of 6 years and it's only been a year since their breakup, I think it's fine that he's still somewhat emotionally occupied with her. We don't know if he obsesses about her every day and since the London travis thing is pretty recent, maybe it was just on his mind that day? Also why does he have to keep quiet? taylor can write whatever she wants in her songs, I think he is more than justified to have a conversation in public. We have no reason to think he meant for this to get out or to "[re-insert] himself into the ex he resented' life," as you put it.

to end off, anon I really think you should touch grass (and I'm not trying to be condescending here) because it feels like you're blowing up select details out of proportion to fit the narrative taylor has created through her music. We don't know how accurate that narrative is.

[esmereldapearl]

Hi, this’ll be my first post so bare with me. I’ve never been one to actually post on different social medias and I’m newer to Tumblr too, so if I sound too serious or off that’s probably why. Anyway, to my point;

I am probably going to post a lot of theories or deep dives into different characters from different fandoms and this will be my first! So, here’s a deep dive into Virgil from Sanders Sides; (Spoiler warnings ahead for like EVERY episode)

Let me know if you agree, disagree, or just your thoughts on this if you can, I would like to hear them! I think it would be interesting.

Janus was talking in todays (05/25/24) video, it made me realize that Virgil could’ve left because he wanted someone to be honest with him and show him sincerity, both things Janus hated, and every secret Virgil had would be used against him, his own name was, and that’s why he was afraid to say his name to everyone and now he’s probably realizing Pattons going down the same path he walked, and he’s trying to help his friend but there’s no use. He became closer with Roman because he showed him honesty, he was mean but apologized for his actions and showed him who he is, good and bad, and showed him sincerity when he pushed Thomas to talk to Nico. Virgil showed Roman he was because he was less scared, Roman had shown him who he is and so he will do so too, the purple eyeshadow. In the cheering up episode he was showing things to Roman that he liked, something he didn’t do with everyone because he was afraid of it being used against him, and in the gifting episode he heard Janus against Roman and got angry at Janus because Roman is his friend, someone he can finally trust, someone who won’t use it against him (Janus) or tease him (Remus, DWIT) and he and Roman have a bond where they can tease eachother or make jokes but know they’re jokes because they have trust. Virgil probably realizes that the dollar bill with Roman was special because Romans afraid of Failure and hes feeling like he fails with all his friends who are turning on him, so to give him something personal, or as Janus put it, ploy to his ego, it helps with his insecurity that he’s not significant, Virgil gets that because he had to loose everything he knew to gain what he has now, which is scary and puts you at the bottom of a pit you have to climb out of.

If someone said to you, “I’m not angry” but looked super angry wouldn’t that make you upset? Or if you showed something to them and they said “I really like it” when they have a look of disgust on their face. This is something I feel Janus would do from his mannerisms in the newer videos with Remus.

I think that Janus is someone who can be easily trusted at first, the one you feel finally understands you or is finally nice to you but as you go on with being friends you realize it was all a lie, the relationship’s foundation was built on lies. Remus doesn’t care, nor has he left Janus so their friends. Virgil cared, and left, so Janus is angry at him and uses everything against him- maybe he did it before too. Maybe Virgil saw how the others acted towards him and changed his original motive, sometimes when you see something doesn’t have to be a certain way, you don’t want it to be a certain way. Example being, you can cut the grass with scissors but if you find that tedious or don’t like it, change what you’re doing, make it easier, make it nicer for yourself. Same goes with being around people, you don’t have to be around people who make you upset, or you realize make you upset, because that’s all you know. It’s scary, so scary from experience but when you’re on the other side it’s clearer, nicer, happier— and the fact that Virgil can trust someone so much now that he can finally show them something he likes or the purple eyeshadow is just showing how much better he is, even if it might seem like he’s walking backwards, he’s not, he’s in the clear for the most part.

Virgil is only “going backwards” with saying he’s like the cousin, I don’t think that means he wishes he was back there, I think he means that’s where he’s from, that’s what he knows more, he doesn’t exactly feel like a light side probably, so he’ll assume he just still feels like a dark side. He’s probably afraid that his relationship with Patton is deteriorating over Janus, he’s afraid Patton’s mad at him because of the “I’m not mad at you” but looks upset thing that probably happened with Janus.( I’ve had people do this and it does affect me like that so that’s why I’m saying this) But Virgil would rather protect Patton from him and have Patton dislike him than to stand back and let it happen I’m guessing- I could be wrong though. And, in the video where Janus and Patton are in the woods it’s noted that Janus doesn’t share much about himself to Patton, he might not want people to do what he does in turn.

Maybe that’s why Janus doesn’t like Roman, because he is mean to those he doesn’t trust and then once they know each-other is nice, and trusting and sincere. He doesn’t like him because he didn’t trust him without batting an eye, he realized what road he was on at the start and it crumbled a lot faster than anyone around hims did- immediate, or almost immediate distrust made Janus not like him since there isn’t much to use, just ploys to an ego and that is all. Roman is sincere towards Virgil and Virgil likes that, Janus could be angry that his friend is with someone new and angry at that friend. Janus can make all these remarks and they don’t matter until Roman speaks up and it’s Romans fault. Janus did what he did with Virgil to Roman, found what was important to him, an insecurity, and used it against him. Roman was quick to know the game, but he doesn’t know how to win the game.

All of this, or even some of it could be stuff that people have already realized and known, but I find it intriguing and interesting to think about dynamics and what goes on in peoples heads.

Again, if you want to add, or disagree please let me know, I want to hear what everyone else thinks about this if you’re seeing it- did you already know this? Do you disagree? What do you think is different?

Have a wonderful rest of your day and thank you for listening to my TedTalk.

[sophieinwonderland]

What do you think of this anti endo's response here?

https://www.tumblr.com/cloudpeoplesys/756660678138413056/if-a-theory-is-still-heavily-backed-its-going-to?source=share

In short, it's bad.

In long...

It's really, really, really bad.

Might as well get into it.

I agree with the first part that most academic sources are reliable until disproven. We'll get back to how they're misapplying the structural dissociation model later.

Although this post is already instantly concerning in that they're implying a New York Times article is unreliable because it's not on a .gov domain. This is American Middle School-level thinking.

And they're cherry-picking the few sources that are that old, when most are from the last decade and many as recent as last year

It should also be noted that there's a big difference between news sources and scientific sources when it comes to age. The 1979 NYT source is for the Dalai Lama, the highest authority in Tibetan Buddhism, stating that religions the West could use their meditations. While older scientific sources may become less reliable as new findings emerge in the field, a quote from the Dalai Lama is going to be relevant until the Dalai Lama says something that suggests his opinion has changed.

Basically, this seems to be in reference to the Youth and Policy Center saying their editors don't have time to make detailed corrections.

It does NOT say editors won't check to see if the sources are reliable. Just that they won't make detailed corrections themselves.

They also conveniently gloss over the fact that it's stated all articles here are subject to peer review.

Like I said. Middle school-level thinking.

This is just completely untrue, and grown-ups in higher education learn to check the reliability of the publications. Not the domains that happen to host the articles.

In general, sure. 🤷‍♀️

But social media posts, for the most part, are reserved for the community explanations section and parts about plural history. Not treated as academic sources.

Actually though, why is Reddit listed first? That kind of jumps out at me, because Reddit isn't sourced very often, and I think it's actually referencing the AMA with Dr. Lifshitz and Dr. Luhrmann.

I'm not certain, but this seems a popular conspiracy theory with anti-endos who are in denial about this study. The theory basically goes that the AMA isn't real and the people behind it are just pretending to be doctors.

Something which is absolutely wild when both are names of real people who have published works, including studies into tulpamancers.

Essentially, for the AMA and the FMRI study to be fake, you would have to believe that mods of multiple tulpa communities coordinated for years to create an elaborate hoax where they started gathering participants for this fake study in 2019. They created multiple accounts to pretend to have participated in it. They then faked an entire AMA by impersonating these very real doctors, knowing the entire thing would come crashing down if either real doctor found out they had been impersonated. And this would damage future research, because again, they have both published works about tulpamancy.

It's difficult to put into words the sheer ridiculousness of such a belief. It's frankly on the level of Q-anon conspiracy theories.

I don't know what "medium section" it's talking about.

The first article that mentions mediumship in the document is Dissociation in Trauma: A New Definition and Comparison with Previous Formulations.

This is cited by 177 different articles.

(I'll talk more about this later. Don't forget that article.)

The next one about mediumship, Comparison of brazilian spiritist mediumship and dissociative identity disorder, is cited by 16. (The results say 17, but one of those is the article itself. No clue why it's counted as citing itself.)

The ones with fewer citations are, unsurprisingly, newer papers.

It's likely that most papers published in the past few years won't have many citations.

Which is a bit of a catch-22.

Sources that are too old, anti-endos will say aren't valid because of how old they are. But new sources are bad because nobody has cited them. It's a great tactic if your goal is just making up excuses to pretend none of the evidence against you is real.

Yes, finally, we reach the end where we can talk about how sysmeds don't actually understand the theory of structural dissociation.

Let's take a step back and revisit that article, the first one to mention that mediumship in the document, that had 177 citations.

They may, if they looked, recognize these names. Because they're two of the same names from the first source they posted:

Notice, by the way, that this source never once claims that this is the only way to experience multiple dissociated parts. It only says that this is how they work in trauma-related disorders.

Going back to the new definition of dissociation though and what it actually says.

These are the creators of the theory of structural dissociation explicitly saying that there may be other ways for self-conscious dissociative parts of the personality to form.

And this is five years AFTER the article the OP sourced, from the same exact authors.

So the creators of the theory of structural dissociation have said, in essence, that you can possibly be a system without trauma after publishing their theory.

They specialize in trauma, and their theories only apply to dissociation caused by trauma.

Anyone who tries to say these authors are arguing that you can't have dissociative parts without trauma is lying and misrepresenting their views.

And the stupidest thing about this is that it probably wouldn't even matter to the OP

I'm almost certain that if you presented them with this fact, the OP would argue that Ellert R Nijenhuis and Onno van der Hart are super reliable sources when their article happens to be hosted on a .gov domain, but you can't trust those same exact authors when their peer reviewed papers are hosted on a .com domain instead.

That's what happens to your brain when you're focused less on knowing the truth, and more on making up reasons to dismiss the other side out of hand.

[marvelmaniac715]

I think I might have autism. I haven’t been sure for a while, but when I took a moment recently to think about myself and my childhood, I’ve realised a few things that line up. When I develop an interest in a piece of media or something, I become fixated, obsessively researching all the information I can, for no apparent reason, because I enjoy doing it. I don’t always understand the intricacies of social interaction - I answer any questions put to me in appointments with full sentences like I’m filling out a form, I’m not even aware that I do it most of the time. When I was little I hated loud noises, and I can’t stand certain textures - cream just grosses me out, for example, I can’t bring myself to touch it, and I just can’t accept change (I’ve cried far too many times over big changes in my life). I’m also MUCH better over text than I am when speaking and don’t like to talk about my feelings that much, because what’s happening in my brain just can’t be strung together in the right sequence of words if I can’t plan out what I’m trying to say like I can over the internet. My mum strongly suspects that I might be on the spectrum, and she’s thought so ever since I was little and would avoid talking to classmates in favour of speaking to my five imaginary friends (sometimes late into the night), and I took a few quizzes and read a lot of articles that agree with that assessment, so whilst I’m not entirely sure I think it would explain a few things about why I am the way I am. I wanted to make this post just to share with you where I am in life, because this semi-realisation hasn’t exactly been small for me. If you read through this entire post, you’re a real one, thanks for listening to my rambling :).

[wild-at-mind]

I don't want to be shitty to younger people on tumblr and in social justice spaces (teens and early 20s) and their absolutism and black and white thinking because I totally was like that too. I absolutely loved that thing where someone said something bad about a tumblr user and then you could act like everything they said was suspect forever. It was so convenient, to put things neatly into boxes. Social justice on here was very different back then, this would have been the early 2010s and a lot of it was about cultural appropriation vs appreciation. I think that is a very important conversation but this too was very black and white. I noticed that the only person injecting any nuance was an activist in her 40s I used to follow. Through her I learned also that some topics are really loaded for certain people but others might not feel the same because of different life experiences, even if they were the same ethnic group encountering the same type of potential appropriation. She got me primed for nuance I would later need, when my brain flat out stopped letting me deal with black and white thinking after my breakdown in 2015 and the fallout going up till 2017 and beyond. It's only now that I am really getting better. With occassional lapses. (Like when people on here were lauding protest suicide, that messed with my brain so much. Activists like the one I used to follow who don't like that kind of thinking, or the bloodthirstiness of a lot of the 'activism' shit on here, leave tumblr. They do, because it is shit here. You can get attacked for opposing the violence and self flaggelation in the rhetoric on here. By people you broadly agree with!!)

I think the reason youth tends to come with this kind of thinking is because they haven't seen it happen many times before and not lead to revolution. I can only assume that there really are people using social media to make young people interested in activism think that accelerationism is the only pure policy- by not doing things that might make things slightly better, society will be forced to fall and revolutionise into something much better. That means you don't become impure in the eyes of some internet strangers who don't give a fuck about you as a person, which is important to most people especially younger ones who haven't found their 'people' yet- everyone wants to be accepted. So you wait, years and years, the revolution doesn't happen. Things get worse in many ways, but it's never worse enough for society to fall. Because it won't. Or I guess probability means statistically, it could. But the older you get, the less likely it seems. What will you do?

I think the only thing that helped me out of this headspace was meeting people in real life who believed the same things as me, but who I disagreed with slightly. I found out oh wait, I do not have to do as the internet says and cast these people out. I can slightly disagree on how ideally an issue should be handled and that is ok. Now, many years later, I'm reclaiming my right to think the way I do, and to not trick myself into thinking I am a way I am not. The way my brain works may not be how my friend's brain works, but I can trust she won't reject me because I find JK Rowling's opinions offensive but don't find content dunking on her interesting in any way. Because she's my friend, and at the end of the day we share the same values.

To someone not online I don't think this stuff would make sense at all. Sadly I'm too weak to not be online, and I have this long background of being in that space which influences all the pushback with myself I've had to do. Its hard to get rid of that history, and hard to ignore the posting on here that seems to validate things that people living with OCD cannot put stock in (e.g. your feelings and thoughts are objectively real and also show what kind of person you really are- absolutely not something we can accept and still live with ourselves.) But I have to do it. I have to keep living. I have to believe that would be a net good. If I can't stay offline, maybe by writing this stuff it will help me and others who think like me.

My top tips for when you realise society isn't falling and won't just reset and come back better:

Join IRL activists, support their actions, plan actions with them. Get used to the variety of shapes activism takes. Talk with them about the things you disagree with. Your ability to ally with people you slightly disagree with but agree on most issues is the number 1 way you become set apart from internet-based activism.

Be suspicious of anyone promoting inaction as activism. (Yes that's about the not voting people.) You don't become impure if you vote for the candidate who is the least shit, or has the most chance of getting in and making things less shit. That's OCD thinking that for some reason has become mainstream on tumblr among non-sufferers and sufferers alike.

Posting on tumblr doesn't matter. I have seen people who convinced themselves it did go down conspiracy rabbit holes very easily. (You know- 'they are trying to silence us because of the importance of our posting!' and then it spirals from there)

People trying to guilt and shame you into doing certain things, such as rejecting your long-term mental health, or tell you that if you feel like shit all the time it's a good thing somehow- stay away from that thinking like its infectious. The most effective activism comes from people who are in an ok place mentally so they can plan and work together, not people who feel like them feeling ok is bad or offensive somehow and are making snap decisions based on this. You feeling bad doesn't help anyone.

[chirpsythismorning]

What do you think about ST writers staying silent when it comes to homophobia in fandom? I've seen some people talking about this and I have to agree that it is getting toxic, and the creators can say something about it. This issue is not about shipping, it is a serious issue that needs to be addressed in this fandom.

I get this, I really do, but there is a reason they don't bring a bunch of attention to the negative and it's the same reason most of the cast tries to not bring attention to the negatives going on that they experience.

This reminds me of when Noah came out for example. A lot of fans were congratulating him with support and stuff. But that didn't last long bc suddenly everyone in the tag was fixating on the negatives they were seeing, reposting homophobic comments he was getting and just freaking out on a loop over harmful shit going on. Some fans even made like plot twist edits of hateful comments he had under his coming out video and Noah himself commented on one of them, like alluding to the fact that he tries to not let it get to him.

When you're in these peoples positions, you're hearing about god awful stuff happening constantly. And that makes sense, when you have an audience of hundreds of millions of people, shit goes down. ALL the time.

And so it gets to a point where, eventually you have to give up basically. I'm sure there was a time early on like in s1, when they might have felt the need to put the fans in check over certain harmful things. But it probably got so big they couldn't do that any more, simply for mental health reasons I wouldn't ask that of anyone.

Think about Finn who has been through some shitty fandom behavior over the years with fans obsessing over him and like essentially photoshopping a fake story about his gf SAing someone. Did he come forward and talk about that? No bc fans like that don't even deserve the attention. And while yes, it's clear that he feels like grateful about this experience, it's also clear he has an intense sense of bitterness over the fact that having millions of fans means that there are bound to be quite a few who don't understand boundaries. And yet it's gotten to a point where acknowledging them only makes them stronger.

And then there's Caleb, who experienced fucking racism as a child simply for his character getting in the way of milkvan... And he only recently over the last year or so has felt comfortable enough to start talking about it more. And it's probably because he was in large part not wanting to re-hash over stuff that is obviously traumatizing and just not fucking fair for him to have to discuss in the first place. He deserves for this to be an incredible experience. He shouldn't have to give any of his time and attention to people that don't fucking deserve it in the first place. He deserves better than that.

And then there's Millie who has also been through a lot, to the point where it's like near impossible to even pinpoint everything because it's just so much. And she has the biggest following on social media so that makes a lot of sense. Her fandom experience is a large part of why she doesn't really use social media anymore. She used to love interacting with fans, but now it's just not something she can handle. Not only does she have to deal with people that hate her for no apparent reason, she also has to deal with so called fans psychoanalyzing anything and everything she does, to the point where they're convinced they know everything about her and her boyfriend and her family, as if they know what's best for her? Like imagine not having a space anywhere despite having millions of people say they love you, when they just turn around and treat you like a product to be consumed and discarded? It's exhausting.

All of them have a story like that, that just makes you realize that this is so much bigger than ship wars and any nonsense fans obsess over. Sometimes we forget these are real people and they have to see this and it obviously effects them mentally over time to the point where they just can't acknowledge it anymore in order to simply live their lives peacefully.

Now, I'm not saying the Duffers will never address the homophobia, bc they no doubt will. However, I think that in large part the point is to let these homophobes especially feel like they are superior and have the upper-hand, only to rip it out from under them basically.

And that's because we're also talking about a show that is hiding the truth in plain sight. This show is in fact for the so called freaks and geeks (and the gays). And so when that truth is finally revealed, THAT'S when they're going to call the bigots out on their bullshit. Because this show was never for them in the first place! And making them tune in for all of it, convinced it was for them all this time, only to find out it wasn't, I'm sorry but it's fucking badass.

If they're hiding that core message in plain sight, and yet most of the audience STILL doesn't see it, and it's also a big reason why they refuse to even consider byler, then yes it makes sense to hold off this scolding for when the reveal happens, only to throw all of that backlash on the people STILL being homophobic when it's all said and done, despite them saying it was all indeed intentional.

Right now there are genuine homophobes out here, and then there's people that are merely misunderstanding the extent of what's truly happening bc of heteronormativity, which is arguably the way the show was intended to be watched, assuming you're only watching it once through and you don't consume any more content regarding it much outside of that initial viewing (most of the ga). And then there's the fans who are literally queer and love queer stories, but aren't allowing themselves to believe it this time bc of how prevalent queer-baiting is.

By no means am I saying homophobia is okay. Obviously it's not. But people are homophobic, people are bigots. You can decide for yourself which situations you want to call it out and when you want to let it just be because otherwise you're gonna be fighting forever with people that do not fucking care, and that's not helping anyone, least of all queer people who would rather probably just ignore all of the noice and be happy being their authentic self, despite all of the hate that's out there.

We'll have to see how fans react to s5. I have hope that it will go well.. I do think that there could be a time period where people are like in denial and grieving or whatever. But we know the evidence is there. We know that the Duffers are going to be happy to admit that it was intentional to disprove the claims that try to say byler came out of nowhere.

Absolute worst case scenario, I think the critical reception will be something along the lines of this:

[black-arcana]

BATTLE BEAST's NOORA LOUHIMO Shares Message In Support Of Pride Month

BATTLE BEAST's Noora Louhimo has shared a message in support of LGBTQ+ Pride Month. Taking place in June, Pride Month is a time when the lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender community, their supporters, and allies come together to celebrate love, diversity, acceptance, and unashamed self-pride.

On Saturday (June 1),Noora took to her Instagram to write: "WONDERFUL PRIDE month for LBTGQ+ communities and everyone who agrees for equal love, self and sexuality. I hope that one day we could live in a world where equality would be the norm in all communities.

"As a woman, I unfortunately still face unequal treatment and a certain kind of sexism seems to be built into people's core behavior (which comes from home education) and some don't even realize they are sexist. Also women towards other women and themselves. For example, it is really sad to see/hear women criticizing other women and their sexual expression or showy appearance/dressing. EVERYONE'S OWN LOOK has been the only way for women to express themselves and their own values since time immemorial. The cloak of shame was not invented by women. But unfortunately, instead of encouraging self-expression, we bark and be mean. What one says about another comes from how you see yourself and your own fear.

"Let's take off those cloaks of shame and burn them at the stake. Let's be on each other's side. Let's be on the side of those who need it. Let's jump into other people's shoes and understand that equal treatment is not an everyday life for everyone, but a struggle for it every day.

"The fact that I dress the way I want, demand respectful and equal treatment, am strong-willed, ambitious and determined, speak up for others and myself does not make me a 'bitch'. Crying, talking about my feelings/thoughts and being emotional to everyone doesn't make me weak. It makes me strong and happy when I am openly myself. At the same time, I want to encourage and support others to do the same.

"THIS IS WHY I HAVE THE BATTLE VITCH HORNS OF COURAGE. And I will always continue to fight for equality. In this world, evil is putting oneself above others, narrow realities and being greedy.

"I hope that I can have at least a little influence on how people treat each other with my own example.

"LOVE AND PEACE AND PRIDE

"#pride #equality #humanity #goodvalues #selfesteem #thecloakofshame #proudtobeme #proudofyou"

Louhimo revealed in November that she had been diagnosed with a ruptured left carotid artery, causing the postponement the band's tour. The 35-year-old Finnish musician has since said in an interview that she has "definitely started doing more warm-up before any singing and warming down and taking care of my overall health even more than before." She added: "I really appreciate life more now. I'm thankful for each and every day and every moment that I get to live, I get to love, I get to see. I get to see people. I get to be with my loved ones and with my animals here at home. And now I get to tour in the places that I've always dreamed of. And it's not something that you should take [for] granted."

When Louhimo first revealed her diagnosis seven months ago, she wrote on her social media: "I went to be examined because of a weird pain in the left side of my neck, throat, ear and chin. At ultrasound examination the doctor found the rupture that had already started healing, and he saved my life. I was hospitalized for more exams and finally got confirmation of the situation. I was ordered to have a break on everything that might stress or increase my blood pressure for the next month. Otherwise, I could have a stroke. As you know how passionate I am as a singer and performer, the blood pressure getting high is a guarantee. So, I did not want to take the risk to die with my boots on, not quite yet".

Louhimo joined BATTLE BEAST in 2012 with no previous experience as a metal vocalist but quickly acclimated herself as the replacement for Nitte Valo (a.k.a. Nitte Vänskä).

Less than two years ago, Noora, who in 2021 released her debut solo album, "Eternal Wheel Of Time And Space", under the NOORA LOUHIMO EXPERIENCE banner, admitted publicly that she had been struggling with eating disorders and her weight since she was "a little child" and said that she was "still trying to find a balance." She added that she had "been depressed and anxious sometimes 'without a reason'."

[yourpintilts]

Only Friends and Genre Theory

Well - I guess I'll start this blog off with post about everyone's (my) favorite series (it literally has not aired yet) of 2023: Only Friends.

Recently, the nominees for the ContentAsia awards were released, and my friends and I were celebrating the nomination of The Eclipse for Best LGBTQ+ Show (yay!) when a really interesting topic arose. Someone pointed out that Jojo Tichakorn's Never Let Me Go was chosen over The Warp Effect, which they felt was his better work in 2022. Regardless of your opinion on that (though, I agree), we wondered if The Warp Effect is even eligible at all. Of course, the category is LGBTQ+ Shows, but every single nominee is a BL.

I've noticed, in my perusing of BL Twitter and Tumblr that most fans seem to differentiate between BL, lakorns/dramas, and the LGBTQ+ genre, but nobody seems to define them. They are designating the genre by, for lack of a better word (although I consider it pretty accurate), the vibes.

I've seen the off-handed "I wonder what genre it will be" or "It seems like Jojo is leaning away from BL with this series" comment more than once about Only Friends. And really, it's hard to say at all when all we have is a trailer and cryptic social media posts from the cast and crew, but, uh, I'm gonna try. Sort of.

So, let's get into it: Is Only Friends going to be a BL, drama, an LGBTQ+ show, or something else entirely?

Alright, before we get into trying to put a label on the series, let's talk about the labels themselves: it's Genre Theory time!

So, what is genre? Well, most of us would consider it to be the category that we put a type of media or art into: country music, romance novels, etc. Genres help us differentiate amongst the huge sea of art, find patterns and create links between work, and, most practically, help us decide if we will likely enjoy something or not.

Normally, it's not much more complicated than that. Sci-fi, drama, noir, biography - each of these gives you a basic idea of what you're getting into, what tropes you might expect, or how you might feel while consuming it. But film theorists will be film theorists, and it's not actually that simple.

Let's take the horror genre as an example. At its face, we define films as horror because they follow certain tropes and patterns: things like jump scares, the final girl, dark and saturated style, slashers and paranormal, etc. But what about movies like Parasite or Get Out? These films rely less on jump scares and physical horror - it's their concepts themselves that are so scary. And so this is where sub-genres come in, in which Parasite and Get Out are labeled as psychological horror to further define them. And then there are films that just... don't seem to be anything at all. Something like (because I recently watched it) In Bruges, which mixes crime, drama, and comedy, but also never fully leans in to any of them. It sort of defies genre altogether.

So, that's the gist of genre theory. Basically, the point is that sometimes you can put a film or other piece of art in a category, and sometimes you can't.

But, let's be honest. We don't care about other movies. Let's talk about sexy, spectacular, groundbreaking masterpiece that will be Only Friends, and how we can apply genre theory in order to try to figure out what label best fits.

There are several different indicators of a BL, and Only Friends does fit some of them:

Most straightforwardly: the primary story in a BL is a relationship between two male characters. Of course, in this case there are six male leads (and who knows how many different pairings... TopSan, NickSan, RayBoston, and more have their advocates, some even seem likely), but the point is that the series is focused on their relationships together. Along with this, two of the three primary couples - ForceBook and FirstKhaotung - featured in the show are official pairings at GMMTV. BLs nearly always feature couples who have worked or will work together in multiple shows.

The series is also being produced by GMMTV, a company well-known for its stake in the BL genre, and it follows the logistical style of a 12-episode limited series.

But in several other ways, the show is in direct opposition to many of the components of BL. Some may not be intentional, or hard and fast "rules," but they occur so often that they are undeniably associated with BL as a genre.

As mentioned above, two of the lead couples are official pairings, but the other isn't. In fact, Neo and Mark both auditioned for their roles in Only Friends, and Director Jojo Tichakorn has spoken about his intention in casting them: to divert the expectation of clear masculine/feminine and top/bottom roles in queer relationships. The "seme" and "uke" trope, designating who gives and receives sexually (and usually indicating personality and relationship dynamics), has been pervasive in BL. It panders to the homophobic notion that queer relationships must still follow heteronormative standards. With NeoMark - and, as I believe, with all of the relationships in the series - Jojo will subvert that standard.

Also, Only Friends has a not insignificant amount of openly queer people writing, directing, etc. for the show. This certainly isn't the first time this has happened, but since BL began as a genre made by women and for women, Only Friends seems determined to be a series by queer people and for queer people.

And, because we've already established genre is not black and white, there are other aspects of Only Friends that blur the lines of its BL status. Only Friends seems to be much darker, grittier, and realistic the typical dramedy BL. We already know we will see smoking, drug use, sex, cheating, and according to Jojo, this is only scratching the surface. But, of course, the BL genre has evolved as of late, giving us shows like KinnPorsche, which also delve into such topics. So, while BL is largely more comedic and lighthearted, a darker series still can fit the genre.

Of course, there are many other characteristics of BL that Only Friends exhibits and opposes - I could be here forever if I wanted to list every single one, but we have less than a week until episode one, and personally, I want to watch the trailer a thousand more times before Saturday. So hopefully these examples gave you enough of an idea that Only Friends sort of straddles the line of BL (but also that BL itself is incredibly difficult to define, especially as it continues to evolve).

What about the LGBTQ+ genre - can Only Friends better be defined by this? Likely, yes, but my answer is so because the LGBTQ+ genre itself is even vaguer than BL.

(Some even argue that it isn't a genre at all. That's a post for another time.)

Shows labeled as LGBTQ+ are often done so because of a few defining characteristics, usually occurring at the same time: the show features LGBTQ+ characters, depicts LGBTQ+ themes (coming-of-age, acceptance, found family, etc), and is broadly accepted as such by the queer community. Only Friends certainly does the first two, but the third might be a bit trickier than it seems. With the divide between the LGBTQ+ and BL genres, some audiences will argue it fits one over the other.

And perhaps there are some important differences: the LGBTQ+ genre exists on an international scale, with media added to the queer canon from all over the world. Comparatively, I'm not sure I can think of a show outside of Asia that has been labeled as a BL. The LGBTQ+ genre does tend to be more diverse in gender and sexuality than the typical gay male leads in BL, too - BL does stand specifically for Boys' Love while LGBTQ+ encompasses any form of queerness.

But if we're focusing on these standards, I think Only Friends checks these boxes as well. The show seems to clearly be a test for a less conservative international market. And it is more diverse than just gay male leads; Namchueam is sapphic, Jojo has indicated that Ray is bisexual, and Yo is played by Jennie, a trans woman. Sure, there can always be more diversity, but this is absolutely a step forward compared to past, and many current, GMMTV series.

After positioning Only Friends next to the BL genre, then the LGBTQ+ genre, I would love to be able to make a judgment and wrap this all up in a neat little bow.

Actually, that's a lie. I don't want to do that - I am the complicated film theorist I was talking about before. So, it's a good thing I can't, isn't it?

Ultimately, Only Friends is a show that is here to break boundaries, to subvert expectations, to give us something we've never seen before in Thai, or maybe even international, entertainment. It would be an injustice to the series to try to put it in a box, to ignore its little nuances out of convenience.

It doesn't matter whether Only Friends is a BL or LGBTQ+ drama. We should be looking at the show holistically, taking it in as it is rather than through the lens of the things we come to expect from a specific genre. Genre can be useful, yes, but we can't get too held up on applying it where it may not be productive.

And yet (plot twist!), it sort of... does matter? It matters, not in the sense of changing what the show is, but changing the way we perceive and discuss it. The implications that come with a BL series are different than those of an LGBTQ+ series, even though both genres are difficult to define and are ever-changing.

The conversations we have about how innovative Only Friends is, its place in Asian versus international culture, whether it can be considered a success or not, if it's "good" representation and who gets to decide that... all of that is a product of the genre we label a series with. And I'm not really here to argue whether that is a good or a bad thing; like I said, genre can be useful, and fun - there's a reason specific genres remain popular! What I hope this post sparks is external and internal conversation about why we label, and how that might do a service and/or disservice to the media we engage with. Think about the way that you, personally, want to interact with Only Friends and shows like it, accept it, and then challenge it.

[destinyc1020]

As a Tomdaya on the bird app, who stans Tom and Z as individuals as well as their relationship, I’d thought I chime in. I agree with the anon that Z is treated very differently on the app than Tom and I find it weird. I think Z fans are very proctevtive of Z, rightfully so but they often fail to view her as a human being and put her on this bizarre pedestal that sometimes removes her humanity as an individual that I can only really compare to to Taylor swift. Disney is the starting block to ownership because a lot of fans either grew up with Z or rewatched her shows on the channel that they are the super fans today. Add in The Greatest Showman, MCU, Euphoria and Dune. Properties with big fan bases. Her music career was also very successful though cut short and had a huge impact. It’s not lost on me of the sheer volume of fame and fans she’s received being strategic and being one of a kind talent.

Tom on the other hand has MCU but really didn’t grow up in the public the way Z did at age 13. Another factor I think is a big contribution to this phenomenon is that Z encourages parasocial relationships with her fans. I didn’t think to much of this because most celebs have social media but most don’t really talk to fans unless their gen z or musicians.

They put Z on puritanical pedestals and remove her humanity.Sometimes I think they forget that they know she lurks on socials and might like or retweets accounts thus creating subfandoms that have relations to Z. Those fandoms are not bad and great if your a fan. But those ones like timdayas, hunterdaya or anyone daya who cut Tom out of everything is just so weird to me. They get annoyed if you make a Tomdaya joke cause she more than her relationship. They’re not wrong but she’s always more than her costars but they never see through that logic because it doesn’t fit their narrative lol.

Timothee used to be parasocial as well, especially at the beginning of his career. He would communicate with fans and actually create a bond with them on socials and real life. Club Chalamet is a result of that lol. After the Eiza situation, he stopped and mainly keeps interactions slim and mainly related to his next project because he saw that lines were being blurred and those fans at the time were judgmental. Idk if you remember the infamous Timothee I trusted you meme because despite general public coming for him, those stans really were doing too much lol. I think that’s why he hid his relationships from his fans because they built this idea of him when he’s just a man in his 20s figuring it out lol.

Tom fans are in three catergories mcu fanboys, Tomdayas like me lol, antis who don’t like Z. His fanbase on twitter is really an amalgamation of Tomdayas who both love Z and Tom but their small compared to Z’s or Timothee. When he gets hate Tomdaya felt the need to defend on his behalf. The reality is Tom doesn’t care. He only uses insta and avoids twitter. He healthy because he live in his own universe. However, he’s not a Paul mescal or Josh O’Connor where his work little or alot can stand out for itself whether he’s likeable or not. A lot of his fame comes from his personality or ip films. I’m aware I missed Billy Elliot, just don’t thinks it relevant on social media. Yes I loved tcr but when the rt score came it was brutal. It was shocking seeing critics who relatively have a niche on films come for him and I was just sad that ppl had this much vitriol despite the fact he’s not problematic. Both film twitter beloved Chris Pine and Chris Evans have critically failure and there’s not hate as much as Tom got that week. One thing as a Tomdaya that muted certain z fans who hate on him is that he really doesn’t care.

Him liking that insta post about him forgetting he’s famous made me realise that as a fan I should not care and just curate my account for my own happiness. I don’t engage tweets about comparison with other actors, z’s exes or costars because I know it’s bait. Toms fanbase is small so I’m happy it’s not as big as other actors. That’s why I think those fans can repost his kissing scenes of intamite scenes cause he doesn’t lurk Twitter and it doesn’t start trending. Z does so when those fans post things about her boyfriend or her exes or costars, they know she lurks and I think that’s weird. Maybe that’s why Tomdayas get on defence lol. I’m aware though some Tomdayas can be cringe. I’m not rewriting history here lol.

That’s my two cents lol. Hope you have a good day xxx

Thnx for your input Anon. 😊

Another factor I think is a big contribution to this phenomenon is that Z encourages parasocial relationships with her fans.

I wouldn't say she encourages it, I just think she wants to try to stay personable with her fans and show them that she's still that kind, down to earth girl from Oakland that they've always known and loved, no matter how "famous" she gets. 😊

I didn’t think to much of this because most celebs have social media but most don’t really talk to fans unless their gen z or musicians.

Well Z IS Gen Z lol 😅

Timothee used to be parasocial as well, especially at the beginning of his career. He would communicate with fans and actually create a bond with them on socials and real life. Club Chalamet is a result of that lol. After the Eiza situation, he stopped and mainly keeps interactions slim and mainly related to his next project because he saw that lines were being blurred and those fans at the time were judgmental.

Well, honestly Anon.... MOST Celebrities (I feel) have realized over the years that the LESS they share of their personal life, the BETTER. If you go back 7 years....even just 5 years....and you were to go back in time and be on IG or Twitter as a fan back then, you would see that Z, Tom, Timothee, shoot....even Austin, Nadia lol, etc. ALL used to be waaaay more personable, engaging, and even posted WAY more on their social media accounts back then compared to now. I think over the years, a LOT of these celebrities (especially the ones who are fairly famous) have all realized just how toxic social media has become in just such a short time, and I think they have figured out that the less they share, the better.

Fans have definitely crossed the line, and these actors have realized that they need to put a boundary again btwn them, their private life, and their fans. That's just my own personal observation and theory. 🤷🏾‍♀️

Him liking that insta post about him forgetting he’s famous made me realise that as a fan I should not care and just curate my account for my own happiness.

I definitely think you should curate your online account for your own happiness and not worry too much about Tom. With that said, while he may have liked that post, we can't say with 100% accuracy that "he doesn't care" about what people say about him. He IS human after all. He might not care about ALL things, but certain things might def be hurtful.

[monsterfucker-lisa-swallows]

i've said before that it is completely out of line to look at a person recounting painful memories of childhood abuse and then bring up their past mistakes and i'm standing by that. i know some of you are going to jump on me for saying "mistakes" but this isn't me trivializing. this is me looking at things in context.

i haven't seen these supposed sources where they say drake bell's victim admitted to lying. i looked at news sources from the time and looked at statements given and haven't seen it anywhere in there that she admitted to lying, which i would assume would be front page news. if anyone wants to direct me to something verifiable that isn't part of a tiktok conspiracy, i would be interested. i have seen that bell wasn't convicted of actually touching the girl and they found no evidence of pictures ever being sent. the internet keeps vaguely saying the girl stalked him before and lied about her age and i don't know how true that is. it's always reprehensible to groom children and there isn't a justification for that. a few years ago i might agree with commentators saying "you don't just not know that someone is 12" but i worked at space camp for the past few years and there were a few times where i was looking for my assigned group and was told that the group that i'd assumed were 17 and 18 year olds (because they were taller than me and more muscular or filled out) were actually 12 and were actually my assigned group. idk what they're putting in the water but i assume it's these damn tiktok beauty standards. and i often have the opposite problem - when i was 16, people would assume i was 13. now that i'm 29, people assume i'm 19-14. i have a friend in her mid20s who is constantly mistaken for a 10 year old boy. it is fucking hard to tell how old someone is and if it's true that she was in his shows which were meant to be 18+ he'd have no reason to know her age. i've seen commentators state he immediately broke off contact when learning about her age.

i want to give benefit of the doubt in this case. i want to believe that the apology given was with complete accountability and remorse. imagining being in his position and realizing he may have contributed to an unsafe situation on par with one he himself experienced may have been a huge wake up call for him. i want to remind everyone though that we are not called on to forgive drake bell. we're not the wronged party in the case. the only one who can give forgiveness is the victim and victims do not owe that.

and with that i feel i should say that i can unfortunately believe that the domestic violence accusations may be true. the timeline seems to match up with the years immediately following what happened with him, the years he'd be more likely to flounder and struggle with the secret he was keeping. who knows what unprocessed trauma he was living with? it doesn't make it okay by any means (and again we are not the ones tasked with "forgiving" him and victims don't even owe that) but it makes a certain sense in context. i do think drake bell needs to come forward and tell people to stop attacking his ex on social media because come the fuck on. just because someone went through something horrific doesn't mean they can't do fucked up shit. i know i've done fucked up shit and i've worked through it as best i can. internet harassment and hate campaigns are not the way, but we didn't learn that lesson with amber heard (who i 100% believe sorry not sorry).

i think we need to move on from this mentality of holding people (particularly child stars) up on pedestals then dragging them down when they do fucked up shit. i have to believe people can change and grow. i'm willing to give people the benefit of the doubt so long as a pattern doesn't emerge. we need to move on from thinking that there is a "perfect" victim or that if someone has transgressed in later life that means their victimhood doesn't matter. we can mourn the child that drake bell was. we can mourn the child that amanda bynes was. we can mourn the person that all these people could be if they weren't swallowed by this cesspit. that is a separate conversation from talking about the ways they fucked up after coming out of that environment irreparably damaged.

leave behind the mentality that to show compassion for another human being is the same as "forgiving" them. and move on from the mentality that you personally are the one wronged when these people's lives have nothing to do with you.

[bittertarot]

honestly i agree about going for money in life cause rich ppl get to do so much but us average folk are like too average to have a lavish lifestyle as theirs. heck id even do music if i had any talent not just for money but the things these groups get to do nowadays versus what life was like before social media came about is a huge difference. sometimes its just a matter of being either too old or not young enough to do something like that nowadays as most music groups seem to sadly be getting younger and younger, i also feel like for those who have actual talent honestly id just go for it but theres always smth like age or different circumatances or perhaps not getting the right opportunities either or being somewhat limited in options. i do think life gets to a point where theres fewer options the older you are as its best to learn from a young age in order to succeed and gain that money. idk these are just my opinions you can disagree if you want.

so many folk fretting about fs and whatnot when they really never tried being single like theres not much responsibility besides whoever else is in your life and again honestly i do not think it matters if we do or dont date an fs. i think people were fretting about jungkooks fs so much lately bc they didnt want to be single or wanted jk for themselves and even if idols do date it would never make their fans happy for their idols which is sad

the fact its even called a dating scandal in korea shows how narrow minded it still is like what do people expect idols to be doing? dating rocks? no one? but i also think there would be some uproar regardless bc of who they are or their title as idols. like they can date a normal non idol but their fans still going to be upset that it isnt themselves. ahh well they cant win :( hence why in a way im glad im not an idols fs lol thered still be many cons or in general consequences. i do think idols are a bit more open minded in terms of other cultures and what they might want in their fs but their fans should accept its just never going to be them

sorry for my rambling and sorry for your loss too hope u feel better soon <3 ^^

Hello! So, I don't remember when I said "going for rich people is a good plan" or whatever but I mean there's points to both sides. To accumulate that wealth you need to be willing to put the hard work in, even if you marry into it. If you're a child of a wealthy family, you need to put in the work to maintain that wealth and legacy. It's a chain of hard work - I personally think you can do anything whether you're old, young, etc. It's just a matter of your mindset and how much work you're willing to put in! These days, it's mainly more about the connections you have and the hard work you put in. Social media can make you famous/popular, but it cannot single-handedly generate millions unless your life goal is to be an influencer doing TikTok dances 5 times a day for a living. I think learning certain skills (e.g. budgeting) are important and can help you establish that wealth earlier on, but you can always teach yourself. I have no prior experience owning a business, but the skills I learned throughout daily tasks over the course of my life have helped me to reach a point where an idea is starting to blossom into an actual product. And I agree, being single gives you more time to work on yourself to allow people to enter your life without the situation feeling forced. You get to become more comfortable with yourself, you make life-long connections/friendships, you develop hobbies, stories to tell your future friends, etc. It's a time to establish yourself and experience personal growth when you're single, not stress over finding a new relationship!! I think each relationship, friendship, etc brings a life lesson alongside it - so it doesn't matter whether that person is the person you intend to marry or not. Just enjoy the present without panicking about the future, that's the best advice I can think to tell everyone as well as my past self <33 It is quite sad, a lot of idols seem lonely. Jackson Wang is a prime example of this, he's expressed this loneliness a lot. Idols have the right to be happy without their "fans" criticising them for wanting a future where they have a family or just aren't dancing on stage anymore. That is quite narrow-minded, I think it'd be better if netizens and delusional international fans took a break from Kpop content for a month and got some hobbies, worked on themselves and enjoyed life for a bit. To an extent, I do pity some idols FS that I read for. They seem very closed off/introverted and would not do well if the relationship were to get leaked to the media, especially if their information is also leaked and they are a non-idol. I just hope they will be alright and fans will be more accepting sooner or later ! Idols ideal types may not always be the kind of people they'll marry - but they do definitely know what they like in a person. Fans do need to accept that the most likely case is that it is not them! However, the industry thrives off of parasocial relationships. It's fine, no worries! This discussion has certainly been interesting, feel free to respond to this via another ask if you would like to. And thank you so much :] <3

[thefirstknife]

Oh, no, I totally agree the devs and such aren't bringing this terrible behavior on themselves! It's just that it looks like (and I base this off things I've seen elsewhere, not just D2) the decisions by higher ups to push certain things (so much vital lore and story elements gone as soon as the seasons are over unless you do homework outside the game--props on them lasting the whole expansion now though), forcing you to buy more silver than needed so you're tempted to keep buying more to use the leftover but you keep having leftover, etc. help foster an environment where toxicity runs rampant. The players who want to be toxic thrive in these spaces because they can so easily co-opt valid criticisms of the game, company, and industry to spread toxicity and already frustrated and upset players are more likely to fall for it not realizing its unreasonable toxic nonsense. It is NOT the fault of the devs getting harassed, the fault lies higher up the chain and with the prevelance of these style choices in the industry as a whole. But a lot of the industry and structure of social media not only facilitates this sort of toxic behavior but encourages it so it shouldn't come as a surprise when it happens, is more what I mean. (That doesn't mean we shouldn't speak out against it just because it's the logical outcome of a mess of factors--it's still wrong and hurtful even if it makes sense that things are going this way). I feel like realizing that the industry and people higher up at companies create the conditions for this bad behavior to thrive is really important in order to work against it effectively

Oh yeah, for sure. The whole industry situation and the higher ups that make all of this happen in the first place is certainly a catalyst to an extent. I definitely wish more people would realise that. I think a lot of people operate under the notion that game developers are spiteful or evil and that they deliberately "ruin games" and that they deliberately don't listen to players, stuff like that. Then completely misleading and hateful comments from "pillars of community" stoke the fire and then everything gets put into the same blender and turns into what we have now.

The harassment at this point is definitely, unfortunately, expected. It's really awful that we had to get here and that most devs kinda have to accept that they will be harassed. Bungie has always also been a very community-oriented company that was super communicative and responsive. This is really good, but unfortunately it makes gamers feel entitled. You know, Bungie listens to us a lot, but not every time, so when they don't listen, clearly they're being spiteful. Basically giving gamers a finger and then they want a hand. And at one point it becomes impossible to satisfy everyone's wishes and then people get angry.

The recent Bungie win in court might help in the future though, now that there's precedent for companies being incentivised to protect their employees better. Other than that, there will have to be massive changes to every system in the world. Until then, hopefully better education and pushback against the assholes might help against this sort of thing. And if that fails, at least there's legal action and punishment available. Either way, gamers really need to learn to just disengage if things bother them too much. There's other things to do.