#zero state solution
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For those wishing to engage me on the topic, I do NOT believe in a "Two-State Solution." I think anyone hiding behind that particular fig leaf is disingenuous and/or facile. However, this is not going where you think it is. I despise Netanyahu. He wraps himself in the Israeli flag even more frequently than Trump with the US one.
I don't discuss the 2SS, because it stems from the tedious homily that, "Good fences make good neighbors." The Israelis have been great fence-builders...until exactly a week ago. I have very little idea how that happened, and we may never know. Obviously, we're not much better informed, seven days later. I am immensely concerned that the current Prime Minister and the IDF are cloaking themselves in the unassailable vestments of the Holocaust and antisemitism, as it seems clearer that they're about to reenact that atrocity, with zero sense of irony, at all.
Additionally, I'm not saying that I completely disbelieve every news anchor, particularly when they're interviewing Jews but not Arabs, unless they're an academic or NGO. I just don't trust or like the WAY they're talking, or how a corporation like Comcast, for example, is editorializing.
When you know a fair amount on a particular subject—not just because you've been "indoctrinated" about it since early childhood—but because you stayed curious and investigated things that you didn't agree with, then you're keen to a lot of nuances. Specific vocabulary, leading questions, and production decisions about guests and so-called "expert testimony." These are just a few, and not really my point.
I suppose you could say I'm for the "Zero-State Solution." Unity, not division; freedom to travel and work, not a jam-packed ghetto where one people technically aren't occupiers anymore, but can still flip off the power whenever they want.
These inequities are grotesque, and most assuredly cannot be resolved in the short term...but that doesn't mean that no one should try, at all, ever.
I realize that I, myself, am presently over-simplifying, but this is for the sake of speed and clarity. We have already run out of time.
Antisemitism, as well as anti-Muslim sentiment, should be fought everywhere, every day. Yes, Hamas wants to "kill all Jews, everywhere, every day," but they are currently trying to cloak themselves in pity for apartheid, which is also wrong, everywhere, every day. I am not debating evil. When everybody is wrong, then I'll limit my hostility to a selfish, radical subset of people who kidnapped infants and shot grandmothers. Just here, and for today.
Tomorrow, I'll wake up and reconsider that. And the next day. Wherever I am, and with whatever I can understand.
#israel#war in israel#war in ukraine#hamas attack#two state solution#zero state solution#zero sum#horror#palephx#american jews#week of sadness#silence equals death#after careful consideration#palestina#im pale#shit or poison#unity government#apocalypse how
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Every time I see someone talking about how even under Trump minorities in America would be better off than Palestinians, all I can think is that, if the candidates really are equally bad on the subject of Palestine, I would really rather have the candidate who will let me vote for a better candidate in the future than the one who'll take away my ability to vote in perpetuity.
#this is also ignoring the fact that the candidates are wildly different on this issue if you research for more than zero seconds#one endorsed a two state solution and the other said israel should “finish the job”#one said pro-palestine protests should be shut down by armed governmental forces#I am begging you#pro palestine#free palestine#vote harris#vote kamala#genuinely go vote#if you can vote#2024 presidential election#biden administration
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Okay let me try this one again. The Trolley Problem sets up a scenario that sucks to be in. You either kill one guy, or you kill five guys. Nobody likes these options. We all don't want this be happening. That's kind of the point. It's a moral quandary. It's supposed to feel bad.
Now, according to a recent post floating around on tumblr, choosing either of the two options demonstrates "learned helplessness" and makes you a neolib sheep. The only correct answer, the post states, is to reject the question altogether. (Or to change the parameters of the question to include an option that saves everyone, thus eliminating the moral quandary.)
It sounds nice, doesn't it? Fuck this bad situation, we control our imaginations, so let's imagine a situation that doesn't suck. Hah! Bet you didn't think of that!
Here's the problem. Even though I think most situations generally have at least one solution that is both Feasible and Not Terrible, I have to admit that there are some situations (as in, not zero of them) where all the feasible options are unpleasant. This is a natural consequence of living in a world where A Lot Of Things Suck.
But if shitty situations do exist, even if it's super super rare, then it's not unreasonable to ask, "How should we make decisions when we find ourselves in a shitty situation?"
This is the beginning premise of the Trolley Problem. It says, "Hey what if you were in an unambiguously shitty situation? There are many shitty situations, so let's imagine one that is contrived enough to get everyone on the same page regardless of political affiliation, AND really emphasizes the key parts that I want to discuss."
Tumblr says "let me stop you right there. What if instead...we imagined a different scenario that wasn't as shitty?"
Well, okay, but then we're not talking about the same thing anymore. That doesn't actually count as an answer to the problem, you're just changing the subject to a completely different thing.
Tumblr goes on to say, "Exactly. That's the only thing you should ever do when confronted with an ethical quandary. Frankly the fact that you are willing to even consider a scenario that sucks suggests that you are fundamentally incapable of considering less shitty scenarios."
I just want to say I think that's bullshit. I don't think every problem is a trolley problem, but I do think that some problems are a trolley problem. And I think that those problems are worth discussing, even though they don't feel good. The trolley problem exists as a framework to discuss those problems.
Maybe our aversion to difficult decisions has an impact on our ethical reasoning, and maybe we should actually question how our ethical standards hold up under the weight of that aversion. So maybe moral quandaries like the trolley problem are worth discussing. And if you don't want to engage with the quandary, then don't - you don't have to concoct a whole essay about how the quandary is inherently morally bad.
It's possible that what you really want to say is that it sucks when people treat certain situations as trolley problems, when those specific situations actually do contain unambiguously feasible and unambiguously perfect solutions. I would agree with that.
But like. Let's not pretend that you can reduce all of ethics down to unchallenging black and white moralism.
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Things the Biden-Harris Administration Did This Week #38
Oct 11-18 2024
President Biden announced that this Administration had forgiven the student loan debt of 1 million public sector workers. The cancellation of the student loan debts of 60,000 teachers, firefighters, EMTs, nurses and other public sector workers brings the total number of people who's debts have been erased by the Biden-Harris Administration using the Public Service Loan Forgiveness to 1 million. the PSLF was passed in 2007 but before President Biden took office only 7,000 people had ever had their debts forgiven through it. The Biden-Harris team have through different programs managed to bring debt relief to 5 million Americans and counting despite on going legal fights against Republican state Attorneys General.
The Federal Trade Commission finalizes its "one-click to cancel" rule. The new rule requires businesses to make it as easy to cancel a subscription as it was to sign up for it. It also requires more up front information to be shared before offering billing information.
The Department of Transportation announced that since the start of the Biden-Harris Administration there are 1.7 million more construction and manufacturing jobs and 700,000 more jobs in the transportation sector. There are now 400,000 more union workers than in 2021. 60,000 Infrastructure projects across the nation have been funded by the Biden-Harris Bipartisan Infrastructure Law. Under this Administration 16 million jobs have been added, including 1.7 construction and manufacturing jobs, construction employment is the highest ever recorded since records started in 1939. 172,000 manufacturing jobs were lost during the Trump administration.
The Department of Energy announced $2 billion to protect the U.S. power grid against growing threats of extreme weather. This money will go to 38 projects across 42 states and Washington DC. It'll upgrade nearly 1,000 miles worth of transmission lines. The upgrades will allow 7.5 gigawatts of new grid capacity while also generating new union jobs across the country.
The EPA announced $125 million to help upgrade older diesel engines to low or zero-emission solutions. The EPA has selected 70 projects to use the funds on. They range from replacing school buses, to port equipment, to construction equipment. More than half of the selected projects will be replacing equipment with zero-emissions, such as all electric school buses.
The Department of The Interior and State of California broke ground on the Salton Sea Species Conservation Habitat Project. The Salton Sea is California's largest lake at over 300 miles of Surface area. An earlier project worked to conserve and restore shallow water habitats in over 4,000 acres on the southern end of the lake, this week over 700 acres were added bring the total to 5,000 acres of protected land. The Biden-Harris Administration is investing $250 million in the project along side California's $500 million. Part of the Administration's effort to restore wild life habitat and protect water resources.
The Department of Energy announced $900 Million in investment in next generation nuclear power. The money will help the development of Generation III+ Light-Water Small Modular Reactors, smaller lighter reactors which in theory should be easier to deploy. DoE estimates the U.S. will need approximately 700-900 GW of additional clean, firm power generation capacity to reach net-zero emissions by 2050. Currently half of America's clean energy comes from nuclear power, so lengthening the life space of current nuclear reactors and exploring the next generation is key to fighting climate change.
The federal government took two big steps to increase the rights of Alaska natives. The Departments of The Interior and Agricultural finalized an agreement to strengthen Alaska Tribal representation on the Federal Subsistence Board. The FSB oversees fish and wildlife resources for subsistence purposes on federal lands and waters in Alaska. The changes add 3 new members to the board appointed by the Alaska Native Tribes, as well as requiring the board's chair to have experience with Alaska rural subsistence. The Department of The Interior also signed 3 landmark co-stewardship agreements with Alaska Native Tribes.
The Department of Energy announced $860 million to help support solar energy in Puerto Rico. The project will remove 2.7 million tons of CO2 per year, or about the same as taking 533,000 cars off the road. It serves as an important step on the path to getting Puerto Rico to 100% renewable by 2050.
The Department of the Interior announced a major step forward in geothermal energy on public lands. The DoI announced it had approved the Fervo Cape Geothermal Power Project in Beaver County, Utah. When finished it'll generate 2 gigawatts of power, enough for 2 million homes. The BLM has now green lit 32 gigawatts of clean energy projects on public lands. A major step toward the Biden-Harris Administration's goal of a carbon pollution-free power sector by 2035.
Bonus: President Biden meets with a Kindergarten Teacher who's student loans were forgiven this week
#Thanks Biden#Joe Biden#kamala harris#student loans#click to cancel#politics#US politics#american politics#native rights#jobs#the economy#climate change#climate action#Puerto Rico
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Lion's Game
🍓Another long-ass smut fic finished. This one has less plot, so enjoy. There are still 2k words of not smut though, so that's what it is. I hope you little sluts enjoy this as much as I enjoyed writing it. Kisses <3
TW: Predator/Prey Dynamics; Rough-ish sex; Creampie; Cum eating; Belly Bulge; Mean Mydei; editing errors
Info: Mydei x Fem!Reader; Smut
Word Count: ~5k Words
MDNI
Castrum Kremnos was once a towering city, its grand walls reflecting its people’s prestige and pride. In its prime, the molten sunlight would kiss the shimmering gold running along its exterior, heating the marble flooring and burning the feet of those unaccustomed to its fiery rage. Much like its people, the city was a proud thing, lavish and beautiful – a sight many reveled at upon the first gaze. A city built to show the pride of the Kremnoan people, the fruits of their endless battles reminding all who saw it to cower, for Kremnoans were as mighty as their kingdom. Forces not to be reckoned with, lest you wish to meet a brutal end.
Even now, the city's beauty is magnificent, like something out of a storybook you’d read as a child. Despite the ruin it has fallen into, the cool marble walls stand proud, a testament to how sturdy Kremnoan architecture was. Most of the rubble was from man or monster, not from lack of stability. The once lively halls were full of still air, eerily quiet. With no one and nothing in sight, the halls remained stagnant in their silence, only filled up by those stupid or brave enough to dare enter.
You weren’t sure which category you fell into. On one hand, Mydei had emboldened you, encouraging you to explore before he began his hunt. He was more familiar with the city, even in ruin, and didn’t want you hurting yourself by any means outside of himself. So you were sent off to explore, and you had spent nearly an hour doing so. Yet, the towering walls had a way of making you feel stupid. Stripped naked like the prey you were, the chill bit at your skin, keeping you from fully relaxing. You did not know this place, and its many passageways and turns were dizzying as you explored. Far too much for you to comprehend when the adrenaline was mixed in with it all.
Nearly an hour of aimless wandering and you were still hardly able to map the city out in your head. You had minutes before Mydei would begin his hunt, the seconds ticking away at your nerves. You would have to hide soon, it was an inevitability, standing out in the open of this ginormous room would only get you caught immediately. There weren’t many places to hide, though, only behind piles of rubble and pillars, but that would be too obvious. Mydei would sniff you out just as fast with such simple-minded tactics.
Moving around him seemed to be the smartest solution, but you would have to figure out where he was first. To get a gauge on him, you would first have to hide, and then keep distance – which he would account for, meaning you’d have to be vigilant at all times. A trembling breath leaves your lips, heat pooling between your legs from the thrill of it all. He hadn’t even started and you were weak in the knees, gods you felt like a helpless maiden.
You slap your face three times, coming back to reality with the sting. Focus first, on a hiding spot that would be suitable for a short stay. You glance around the room, eyes zeroing in on a slightly ajar door. Swift as a rabbit you dash across the room, pressing against it and smiling when it doesn’t budge, blocked by something on the other side. The crack is small, but just large enough that you could slide in and Mydei couldn’t without tearing it down.
You slide between them, sighing when you finally get through. This was the only door to this small room, old documents, and parchment paper scattered across the floor. It smells like old books, which is oddly comforting to you in your state. You slide yourself down the opened door, wedged between it and the corner, out of sight from anyone who might try and peer in. As you settle, the game begins, and your body jitters in anticipation.
You hear nothing for a long while, which is to be expected. You had wandered deep into the ruins, and even Mydei would take a moment to get to your location. This does not alleviate the tension around you, not knowing where Mydei was at was reason enough to tremble in fear. Your breaths come out in shallow puffs, rubbing over your cold arms as a means of calming yourself with little success.
Then, you hear it. The sound of marble rubbing against marble as the door opened and the clanking of metal across the ground. He was here. You swallowed down a gasp, he wasn’t near you yet, so you had to keep yourself level-headed. If you panicked now, you would be found out immediately. Deep breaths, quiet, yet shaky. You had to strain to hear him, despite how much metal he was still wearing – he knew how to keep himself silent. He looked around the same areas you had, as evident by the slight shifting of rubble and unsatisfied grunts when nothing was revealed to him.
Naturally, like you, he drifts toward the door. You listen as he walks up to it, feet falling short right behind your back. You tuck into yourself a little tighter, thighs clenching together like he might hear how wet this had made you. The soft shifting of fabric indicated his leaning forward, peering in like a predator sniffing out his prey. The distinct clinking of his metal claws pushes against the door, trying and failing miserably to get it to budge.
You nearly fail to keep quiet, but clamp a hand over your mouth to stop any sounds from falling out. He breathes heavily, each sound a heave of excitement. You can only imagine the wild look in his eyes as he searches for you in this tiny little room he cannot break into. It almost makes you want to taunt him, but you are smarter than that, staying quiet and hiding like good prey should.
Finally, agonizingly slowly, he pulls back with a sigh. Having decided that the room was no longer worth his time. You strain to listen as he walks away, hearing him check a few other places before finally exiting to the room adjacent to this one again. You recall that one, it has two floors, but the access to the second floor is only through this hall – the stairs had long since crumbled. It was perfect, you could get to the second floor easily and remain hidden while keeping tabs on him.
You wait a few moments longer, allowing him time to get comfortable in the next room before making your risky move. Most would not want to stay in the same room as the person hunting them, but that is exactly why you are. Remaining just out of his reach, ensuring you had a visual upper hand was better than cowering like a child. You crawl out of your hiding space, deftly climbing the stairs to the second floor and slipping into the next room through an open door, quiet as a mouse.
Mydei is still there, you hear him just below you. You keep your back pressed to the wall and body low to be safe, unwilling to be seen by him. Your legs tremble when he grumbles something under his breath, the thick annoyance in his tone having your body begging for him already. You ignore the way they shake, moving silently as he moves, keeping your hunter just beneath you. You wonder what he is thinking, what he plans on doing to you when he catches you. Will he take you hard and fast, or will he torture you slow and painful? Is he as excited as you are? The questions swirl in your mind to a dizzying degree.
You take a sharp breath when you hear him leave into the next room. Unlike this one, there is no way to get to it, which means you will have to either run the other way or follow him and risk being caught. You toss your options back and forth in your head, debating on which would be the smartest, and deciding that perhaps waiting here for a moment would be the right choice. He surely wouldn’t return so quickly, so it would be alright to stay here for just a moment.
Yet the door adjacent to the one he exits from opens, and you see him for the first time. He is wearing his usual uniform, armor, and all. The only difference to him is how narrow his eyes are, sternly focused on the hunt. On finding you. And find you they do, scanning the area above him and blowing wide as they zero in on you. You watch his expression shift from calm determination to wild delight, the lion has found his prey.
Like a monster, he turns and sprints toward the next room, sure to follow you up here where you have effectively cornered yourself for him. Adrenaline curls around your limbs, pooling more heat into your core, and urging you to run. You listen, though you have nowhere to go, only furthering yourself along the wall until you are opposite of where Mydei burst through.
His shoulders are drawn back, hands clenching excitedly at his sides as he rakes his eyes over every inch of exposed skin you offer him. Confidence drips off him, rolling across the room in waves and making you feel smaller than you already are, cowering into the corner. Your brain screams at you to do something, anything to get away from his rapid approach.
You agree with it, despite how much you want to freeze, your flight kicks in instead. In an instant, you are jumping forward and down to the floor below you. You roll, tumbling a few times ungracefully, your body screaming at the sting. You ignore its cries, turning to look back at Mydei who looks almost terrified until you stand up and bolt through the doors he’d come through.
A wicked laugh tears through the ruins, but you do not allow yourself to stop, the real hunt has begun. Tearing through door after door, corridor after corridor as his clanking footsteps slam quickly behind you. You’re so deep in you do not know where you are, but you continue onward, ignoring the burn of your lungs. Your mind cannot keep up with your surroundings as you run, too much information to keep up with too fast.
You stumble around, over fallen rubble, cracks in the floor, most anything you cannot immediately process you trip over. Yet, you never fall, adrenaline keeping you upright and running even when your motor skills fail you. Mydei only gets closer with each failure of your feet, until he is practically on your tail. Faster and stronger than you, smarter too without the terror in his veins keeping him anxious.
You come across a large open room, covered in debris from the fall of the kingdom. Loose pillars stand around you, and your only exit is the door that you came through. There is no immediate escape as Mydei backs you into yet another corner, eyes blown wide in anticipation. You think he may tear your throat out like a real predator the closer he comes to you. You are smaller, weaker, and more exhausted than he is. This feels like the end, and he anticipates it to be as he saunters up to you with all the calm of a seasoned warrior.
You never had a chance to truly win this, nor did you really want to. The fear feeds into the heat gathering between your legs, and you want nothing more than for him to take you here and now. That would ruin the fun of it, though, giving up so easily. So, you take into account the one thing you have that Mydei doesn’t. As he reaches out to you, you duck beneath his arms, small stature making it easy to avoid him. No matter how fast his reaction time is, you are just small enough for his second swipe to miss.
Scrambling over to one of the unstable pillars, you manage to use enough force to get it to tumble to the ground just as Mydei charges forward. He stumbles back for only a moment, but it’s long enough for you to get across the room and through the door again. You have all the means of escaping, and you were so close, yet halfway through the next room you stumble, and this time you cannot correct yourself. Your body crashed to the ground harshly, skidding across the floor. You cry out, scrambling to get up, but it is too late. Mydei was already there, hauling you up by your arm and dragging you alongside him to a nearby couch.
You are thrown against the plush cushions and then forced to look up at Mydei as a clawed hand grabs your face tightly. His talons dig into the soft flesh of your cheeks as he drags your eyes to his. You grip at his metal-wrapped hand, squeezing uselessly at the armor like it might free you through desperation alone. He smirks at the pathetic attempt, satisfied with the mess you have become.
“I have won,” he declares simply, “behave unless you enjoy being punished.”
You heave, out of breath, and aching in more ways than one. Mydei does not repeat his previous mistake, of caging you against the back of the couch with his free hand. It takes no effort for him to nudge your legs open, grinning like a beast when your pussy shimmers up at him. You are trembling under his gaze, feeling truly overpowered by him. He was stronger, more physically capable, more intelligent in the ways of the hunt, and he still held the dignity of being fully clothed.
You cannot physically fight him off when he uses the hand holding your face to lay you down on the couch. His body cages yours beneath him, golden eyes tearing a path across all his favorite parts of you. Unabashedly taking in the spoils of his hunt, ignoring the way your legs weakly attempt to push him away from you. So lost in his ogling, he nearly misses the elbow you throw at his head, a last resort to prolong the fight. It misses his temple as he deflects it, instead catching his jaw hard enough to make him blink in surprise.
You almost feel proud to catch the ever-sturdy Mydei off guard, a rare feat from most anyone. You do not get to revel in it, because as soon as you smirk his free hand is shoving its way between your legs, two fingers curling inside you cruelly. He does not bother preparing you in any way, not that he needed to with how well the adrenaline had done its job. Still, the stretch from empty to this stung, drawing a long hiss out between your lips. You are silently thankful that he chose only to wear one gauntlet, likely for this exact reason.
He glares down at you, forcing your eyes back to him with a squeeze against your tender flesh. You fear the golden gauntlets may tear into your skin and scar you. The idea secretly excites you, but you do not voice that. You refuse to voice anything, unwilling to give in yet, despite the futility of fighting.
“Fighting me is useless, you will never win against me. Give up, lest I use more force to make you.” He commands, and you clench around his fingers, excited at the idea of punishment.
It does not amuse Mydei, though, as he frowns at you in some kind of annoyance. The fingers that had been pistoning in you suddenly switch up their movements, instead rolling them against the top of your walls, pressing right into your g-spot. With much effort, you bite your tongue and refuse him any noise other than the choked moan when he initially begins. He watches you with those glowing eyes, hypnotizing you into giving him what he wants, but you remain steadfast.
No matter how hard he presses, how fast he goes, you remain silent. It takes all that you have, but you refuse him the satisfaction of having caught you. He has won the hunt, but you refuse to allow the game to end with such ease. So, even with the coil building quickly in your stomach, you fight him tooth and nail. Fingers gripping the cushions until your knuckles are white, toes curling up until your feet hurt, every exertion is spent on keeping yourself from making noise.
You don’t account for the fact that he will stop so abruptly though, a confused noise bubbling past your mouth when he removes his fingers from you entirely. You stare at him in confusion, even more so when he releases your face. You swallow hard, unsure if he intended to leave you here alone, naked and needy as he stands. He does not walk away, instead, he pulls you up by your hair and shoves you down to your knees.
He keeps a fistful of your hair in his hand as he sits, spreading his legs out and pulling you between them. Thrown off your game, you place your hands on his thighs, staring hard at the lump in his pants. Your eyes find him, and he raises an eyebrow at you, telling you silently to quit playing stupid. Still shaking from your earlier adrenaline rush, you fumble with his pants for a moment, shoving the fabric aside just enough that he springs free. His angry red tip lands right in front of your lips, inviting you to have the taste you’re dying for.
You don’t do it though, staring blankly at his member, entranced by it. Your fingers tap along his armor in anticipation, clinking dully and ringing in your skull. If you sucked him off obediently, you lose. Yet, the sight of his pretty swollen cock, dripping precum down the shaft was wavering your resolve.
All it takes to crack you completely is a shove of your head, the tip pressing into your cheek as he did. A low growl sounds from his throat, “Suck.”
You don’t have to be told twice after that, opening up and taking him in. He’s merciful enough to let you go at your own pace, but he urges you to swallow all you can as quickly as possible. Your eyes tear up as he brushes the back of your throat, thankful you don’t gag, and then swallowing hesitantly. He sighs when you do, spreading himself out just a little more so you lean forward and take just a little more down your throat.
What you cannot fit, you wrap your hands around, giving a careful few strokes to test. Then, with as much courage as your mind can muster, you start bobbing your head at a slow pace. Each move has you slobbering around him, unable to properly swallow him down. Your spit coats his cock, making the movement easier as you spread it with your hands. Each time his tip touches your throat, your eyes water a little more.
Still, you put your all into swallowing him up. Slowly but surely, he was breaking you down into the good little prey you were. The fight you had in you earlier was all but extinguished by the taste of him. Going from hissing and fighting to cooing and cuddling in no time, completely pacified by the weight of him on your tongue.
He sighs, relaxing into the cushions and pulling you along carefully by the hair. You gaze up at him, lashes dotted with sparkling tears. He groans at the sight, thumb caressing your forehead with a tenderness he’d been lacking most of the night. Reminding you that he was still your Mydei, even now. The wet slopping of your mouth on him fills the ruins, sending heat through you again. It takes a lot in you to resist the urge to reach between your legs.
You hear him sigh again, readjusting the grip he had on your head. You don’t think much of it initially, just him getting more settled, but you feel him push a little harder each time you go down. You think maybe he’s just being playful, but he keeps going, inching more and more of him down your throat until your hands no longer have room on his shaft.
His cock throbs between your lips as you struggle to keep up with the faster pace, breaths coming in short uneven blows out your nose. He gives one final push, pressing your nose flush against his skin, hair tickling you. He holds you there, and all you can do is swallow around him. You feel him twitch, your only warning before hot cum pours down your throat. Obediently, you do your best to gargle it down, but you can’t stop it from pouring down the sides of your chin along with your tears.
When he pulls out, you gasp for air, coughing harshly at the invasion of your throat. He holds your face as you do so, swiping the cum off your chin as you catch your breath. Then, he presses it into your mouth. You lick it up, swallowing every last drop he has to offer, then show him proudly. Your reward is him pulling you upward and licking at the salty tracks your tears have left on your face. It makes you moan wantonly, the sound bouncing around the ruins and reverbing right back into Mydei’s dick.
“Stand,” he commands, and you do so without hesitation.
Legs aching and shaky, you support yourself on his shoulder. His eyes roam your figure hungrily, waiting for his final meal to be served like the king he is. They catch on your swollen pussy, leaning forward to kiss your lower lips with a reverence that did not match his earlier actions. He gets his fill, making you stumble in place, supported by his clawed hand digging into your hip. Sure to leave bruises deep into your skin.
He pulls away far too soon for your liking, a thin sheen of you on his lips as he smirks up at you. You bite your lip at the sight, fingers digging into his shoulder as if to hold yourself back. He licks his lips, sure to get all he can of you on his tongue. What he misses, he uses the same thumb that cleaned you of him to gather your essence and push it past your lips. He urges you to taste yourself, like it was as sweet as the pomegranates he loves so much.
You swirl your tongue around the finger, moaning to yourself. There is still the lingering of him, mixing with your own juices, leaving you lightheaded. He pushes down on your tongue, thumb opening your jaw and watching the muscle struggle to still against his hold. He smiles, dragging it down and pulling your lip back on the way down until finally he leaves your mouth alone. Hand falling to your side.
“Sit,” he commands once more, “until you have all of me inside you. Do you understand?”
You nod, placing your knees on either side of him. You align him with your entrance, rubbing your slick along the tip in hopes that it will help with the squeeze. Mydei taps his fingers along your hip impatiently, a warning that he will get involved if you do not listen. With a deep breath, you press his tip inside you. The stretch is instant, stinging as your walls struggle to take his girth within them.
The coating of slick and spit does nothing to help, only making the slide easy, not easing the pain in the slightest. Still, you push onward for fear of Mydei forcing you to take him all at once. Inch after inch, your walls conform and flutter around him, leaving an imprint in your stomach by the time he is fully sheathed inside you. The sting slipped away into a dull ache, begging you to nullify it with pleasure.
Myedi observes you the whole time, doing nothing to step in and help, only drinking you up with his bright golden eyes. They glance down at the bulge in your stomach a few times, fingers lightly tracing over it, raising goosebumps around the sensitive area. You swallow, watching with rapt attention, trying your best not to wiggle too much from feeling him inside and out. When he presses down harder, both of you hiss, clenching around him.
He taps your cheek lightly with his talons, and you gaze upon him in a lust-filled daze. He almost looks sweet with how he gazes upon you. The love for you burns beneath the lust, taking your breath away when he smirks.
“No hiding your voice,” he says sternly, “Do you understand me?”
A test to make sure you were still coherent, you nod adamantly. Moan a lot, you could understand that command easily. Anything else might be a little difficult, luckily this is all he asks of you. “Yes.”
He hums, tugging your hips forward a little, “Good.”
Never one for hesitation, he immediately moves you against him. A brutal pace to begin it all, guiding you along his shaft with his hands. Your hips meet his in succession, wetly slapping against one another. You have to use his shoulders to steady yourself against him, unable to do anything other than that as he uses you to his contentment.
You moan out with each thrust, crying your burning desire out in the ruins. Your voice rang around, reminding you of just how pathetic you were right now. Being split apart on his cock, babbling like an idiot, begging for more of him. You fall forward at some point, forehead pressed to his sweaty chest, deepening the thrusts unintentionally.
You watch as his cockhead presses up into your stomach repeatedly, whining at the sight. Your fingers come to press into the lump, crying out again when it tightens you even further. Mydei isn’t left unaffected either, groaning and tightening his hold on your hips, leveraging himself off them as he begins to thrust up into you instead. Your body goes limp into him, unable to maintain a sitting position with him slamming into you so relentlessly.
You can feel yourself getting closer and closer to orgasm, walls fluttering uncontrollably around his length. From the way he was twitching around you, you knew he wasn’t far behind either. You were sobbing against him now, your only comfort was the weight of his hands on your hips. He fucked you so well that you couldn’t even think, gasping for air with each upward thrust.
The coil in your stomach has wound itself so tightly that it is making you lightheaded, you think the next thrust will snap it, but it keeps tightening. Mydei’s cock throbs inside you, and that is what you in, body jolting as your orgasm crashes into you. Mydei presses you close to him, thrusting upwards a few more times before you feel his load empty into you.
Warm kisses press against the crown of your head, strong arms keeping you from thrashing about from pleasure. You sob his name into his skin, shaking through your orgasm. He hushes you, soothing you with gentle strokes up and down your back, until you slowly level out. You are left breathing softly against his chest, curling against him for more warmth as the chill of the room settles over you.
He sighs deeply, brushing hair behind your ear, peering at your tear-stained face with something like guilt. Even after all that, he was still worried he’d taken it too far, despite this being your idea in the first place. He was too sweet for his own good sometimes. You smile tiredly up at him, stroking his cheek with a thumb. His own taloned one trace down the tear tracks, frowning further.
“Are you alright?” He asks quietly.
You nod, “Mhm. I know our safeword, I would’ve used it if it was too much.”
He hesitates, then settles on kissing your head again, “Alright.”
You stay like that for a little while longer, neither of you wanting to make the trip back to Okhema just yet. It was peaceful and quiet here, just the two of you alone and at peace. Still, you had to go back at some point, so you carefully peel yourself from Mydei sighing when you feel globs of his cum roll down your thighs.
You don’t need to look at him to know he’s staring, the intensity of his gaze following the sight with unabashed enjoyment. You wipe it up on your hand and leave it on the couch. Perhaps historians will overanalyze the stain at some point in the distant future.
Mydei stands after you, shrugging off the rich red fabrics and bringing them up around your freezing body. It does little to keep you warm, but it keeps you covered well enough that you can walk through Okhema without getting weird stares from people. He kisses your forehead again when he finishes, gathering you up in his arms.
You frown disapprovingly at him, “I can walk, you know?”
“I don’t want you to,” he states simply, leaving no room for argument.
You give in, resting your head against his shoulder with a sigh. You are silently grateful for it, your body feeling heavy and your eyes tired. You can’t stop yourself from drifting off every few seconds. The sound of his heartbeat lulls you into a peaceful slumber, the last thing on your mind is how lucky you are to have such a loving partner as him.
#bunni's treats 🧁#x reader#hsr x reader#hsr#hsr mydei#mydei x reader#hsr mydei x reader#mydei hsr#mydei smut#smut#honkai star rail x reader#honkai star rail smut#hsr smut
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I've explored the idea of Eddie being married to Steve without knowing it before in a story before (you can read it here), but in that one, Eddie and Steve have been together for years and Eddie is just so completely blinded by pining that he doesn't know how serious the relationship is.
So now I'd like to put forth a different take on this trope for the steddie court's approval.
Steve, who is so incensed by homophobia for his best friend, Robin, that he decides to protest against Reagan by getting married to Eddie.
The only issue? Eddie has zero clue.
Steve got certified in the mail to be an officiant. Claudia works at city hall and isn't sure why Steve wanted a marriage license, but figured he'd helped Dustin so many times that she could help out with one little favor. And Steve figures that customers in Family Video, while not totally aware, count as witnesses.
So he picks a morning where the sun is shining in an especially Fuck Reagan sort of way, gets dressed in his best polo shirt and jeans, styles his hair, and goes to work.
To be clear; Steve does not think that this is legally binding.
He's thinking that this will be a fun sort of protest souvenir to show Robin. Like "Hey, bestie, soulmate, light of my life! Tack this on the wall! I'm technically gay married to my other best friend, so fuck the haters!"
And to also be clear; he knows Eddie is gay as well. No one told him. But he sees the way Eddie looks at him. He knows Eddie's got a crush (though he doesn't know that said crush has been around since reign as King Steve). Steve knows Love.
He also knows that Eddie unlocked a whole world of bisexuality for him. In fact, he's been putting the moves on Eddie for weeks now.
Eddie is just... so shy and flustered and nervous.
Thankfully, Steve is great at romance. He can seduce. He can use the Harrington Techniques.
And he thinks that a fake marriage license might be just the ice breaker to show Eddie. Proof that he's not homophobic. So much so that he's into dudes. Maybe even get in a good laugh. Get Eddie to chill out and stop acting so skittish and just let Steve kiss him already.
(And maybe, yunno, let Steve do other things to him that probably involve candles and flowers and maybe some smooth jazz).
So to Steve, this is a two for one solution.
He gets to protest homophobia with a fake marriage license for his best friend Robin, and he gets to show the guy he likes (and who likes him back) that he's totally into him with a cute little down with Reagan ice breaker.
It's a win win for everyone.
So one day, when Eddie comes into Family Video, the poor metalhead very nearly dies on the spot when Steve, smile bright enough to light a room, pushes a paper towards him and asks him to sign.
And Eddie, lovestruck and beside himself, doesn't even register what Steve is saying. Steve is perfect and wonderful and funny and smart, and he's asking Eddie to sign something, and Eddie barely even looks down at the document before he's scribbling his name.
Steve does explain. Of course he does.
Eddie just... isn't really listening.
He does however listen when Steve asks Eddie out at the end of his shift and Steve gets to watch the other boy turn pink as a summer sky when he says yes.
And that's that.
Steve has a first date to look forward to and a fake marriage certificate to turn in. He gives the paper back to Claudia and asks if she can stamp it. Make it look real. He'll frame it when he gets it back.
The issue is, Claudia is really good at her job. And Hawkins is currently experiencing the aftermath of a Diet Apocalypse and doesn't notice the fine details of everything moving through their local government. So the paperwork processes; laws be damned.
It's definitely a fun surprise when Steve opens the mail one day (before he's even gotten to take Eddie out), and finds out that he's somehow, legally, the first gay marriage in Indiana. Or most of the United States, really.
Which is... definitely something.
But Steve loves Love. And so he processes the news pretty quick and then walks into work with the energy of an especially confused but cheerful golden retriever. "Hey, Robin!" he'd say, reading through the letter again. "You remember how I made that marriage license for you?"
She laughs fondly. "Yeah, dingus. It was sweet."
"Anything for you," he says, sincerely. And then; "You remember how I'm going to take Eddie out? And you agree? You think he likes me back?"
She snorts. "He's totally obsessed with you. I'm pretty sure we've skipped a few stages over like and moved right onto love."
Which is great. Because when Steve falls, he falls hard. He's a guy who loves Love. It's great to find someone who loves him back the way he wants!
"Awesome," beams Steve. "So do you think I should tell him we're actually legally married before or after I take him to the movies?"
#lol#steddie#steve harrington#eddie munson#just rambling#fake marriage#accidentally legally getting married before it's legal#this is so random#I apologize#back on my bullshit
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Hear me out, please |James Potter
Pairing: James Potter x Slytherin!Fem!Reader
Word Count: 7.5k
Summary: The aftermath of when James found out you were his 'cinderella'. James tries desperately to get your attention to get you to hear him out. A tiny twist.
Notes: Not proofread, grammar mistakes. Timeline might be a little off, but magic so whatever i guess? Sorry for the long wait, I hope you guys will think it was worth it!!
Masterlist Part one Part two
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A lot of things went through James' mind as he stood there in the Great Hall. You could hear a pin drop before Regulus finally shot into action and dashed out the hall to go after you.
The murmuring started to continue now that the first silence had been disturbed.
"Oh gosh, she's so dramatic," your sister laughed. And she put a hand on James' shoulder to pull him back to his seat.
James turned his head slowly. His attention zeroed in on the hand on his shoulder. He coiled away.
"What the fuck have you done," he spat at her.
Marla's eyebrows shot up. "We did you a favour," she stated, as if it was the most obvious thing ever.
It sent James over the edge. He grabbed her upper arm and harshly shook it.
"A favour? A favour!?" He asked incredulously. His voice raised in volume. "What on earth is wrong with you!" He screamed and looked around; his eyes blown out. "With all of you!"
"You mean what the hell is wrong with you, James?" Your other sister, Alyssa, piped up. "Why are you defending her?" That last word was spat out with so much disgust that it opened finally James' eyes to what you must have endured. He fought the urge to slap her expression off her face.
James let go of Marla's arm and pushed her a few steps back while doing so.
No, he needed to fix this. He just had to. If you would just listen to him, he would explain it all. And then he'd protect you. From every hurtful comment out there.
If you would just let him.
"Regulus," James grimaced. The boy was blocking his path and view, standing in the doorway. You were out of sight, or at least out of James's sight.
"Potter," Regulus curtly nodded at him.
"I need to talk to her."
"You've said plenty."
James 'brows furrowed, and his jaw flexed. Why was everyone deciding everything for him all of a sudden? Why couldn't everyone just mind their own bloody business? If they had, none of this would have occurred.
He would be patrolling with you in the evening, and you would make him laugh about one of your dry remarks. He wouldn't have known that it was you who he was looking for, but in time, maybe he would've figured it out. Or maybe he would've pushed his mystery girl to the back of his mind to let you and all the new feelings in.
"Actually, I haven't. I haven't said enough because everyone is saying things in my place instead. But I never got the chance to say what I want to say, and every time I do, it seems too late. I just want to talk to her." The words flew out of James' mouth, built up regret, anger, and disappointment from how things had escalated.
"Perhaps you haven't said much." Regulus looked James up and down and weighed his words carefully. "And maybe that's part of the problem. But right now, she's certainly heard enough. She doesn't want your grand words."
James closed his eyes in frustration. He wanted to protest, he wanted to scream at himself and pull his hair out, but ultimately, he just wanted yet another chance.
He hadn't expected it to be you. Not at all, but the longer he thought about it, the more it made sense, and the more it seemed... right. And he didn't know why he had been so adamant to form some sort of relationship with you, but the way his heart blossomed when you were around only pulled him further in.
James looked at the ground, as if the solution to his problems would be written down there.
"Okay," he relented.
Without a moment of hesitation, Regulus went to slam the door in his face but stopped at the box that James held put to him.
"What's that supposed to be?" He flatly asked James.
With a heavy heart, James showed Regulus the pair of glass slippers that you had left behind at the Yule ball, and that he had so carefully carried around with him.
James searched for his words his. "I've been holding on to these to return them to their owner," he made an attempt at a smile but dropped it, feeling pathetic. He wondered if he looked as pathetic to Regulus as well.
"Well, I suppose I should return them, now that I've found her." James pushed the box into Regulus' hands, threw one glance past the boy in hopes to catch a glimpse of you, and rubbed his face with both hands as he dejectedly walked away from the Slytherin dormitory.
Perhaps he could try again later.
You stared at the glass slippers in your hand. It felt cool to the touch and looked so beautiful, but you couldn’t help the bitter taste left in your mouth. With one smooth movement, you threw and smashed one of the slippers against the wall opposite of your bed. It shattered in pieces, and you had to smile at that. Even with every spell to reenforce the glass so you could actually walk on it, it broke. Then you gathered every bit of frustration you had in you, and you screamed as hard as you could, tears flowing in frustration.
You hated that you were crying. But the sheer defeat and powerlessness that you felt was too overwhelming, your voice cracked mid-scream and you threw the other slipper to pieces in anger as well. It wasn’t even about the gossiping amongst the students anymore.
You were so tired; you actually couldn’t bring yourself to care about what everyone must be thinking right now. But your sisters and James. You dug your nails into your palm.
You looked at your reflection in the mirror and straightened your posture. With your hands, you smoothed out your frown, fixed your hair and put on a wide smile. All in all, you looked psychopathic, but anything was better than pathetic. You turned on your heel and got ready for your first morning class.
James watched your empty seat in Divination class. This was the only class in which the last two years were put together. He wondered if you would show up. But he knew you. Possible more than anyone. So, he knew that you would never miss a class, because you wanted perfect grades and a perfect attendance rate. You were just like that. Ambitious.
James mind replayed your words again. He was every worst characteristic of Gryffindor; you had said to him. ‘Arrogant, prideful, and reckless’.
Next to James, Sirius was also lost in thoughts. Your words resonated in his head as well. Prejudice creates a vicious cycle. It was true. Sirius’ eyes flickered towards the other empty seat where Regulus was supposed to be. He had completely abandoned Regulus, giving his brother the cold shoulder, and despising his elitist thoughts, undoubtedly created by his mother. Because he had abandoned Regulus.
Sirius wondered what would have happened if he had tried to maintain a good relationship with Regulus after having been sorted into Gryffindor. He wondered if he would have been able to convince Regulus to run away with him.
There was a knock on the door and Regulus walked in with a blank face. He nodded his head in apology at the Professor and took a seat. The door opened again, this time with a little more force.
“My sincere apologies, professor.” You wore a smile that sent chills up James’ back. His body almost involuntarily shot up to go up to you, but he caught himself, and he longingly looked at you as you passed by instead.
After having gotten used to your discrete gestures of acknowledgement in the form of waves, smiles, nods or even winks, James’ heart tugged when you didn’t spare him a glance. You graciously took a seat and motioned at Professor Trelawney to continue.
James jumped up when class was over. His belongings had long since been packed, and he dashed towards your leaving figure.
“Y/N!” he called out to you.
You turned around and looked him in the eye. All the words that James had prepared during the rest of class escaped his mind. James felt those chills again and he finally understood that in all his years with fights between the two of you, you had been petty, threatening to take points away. You had been angry, throwing insults back at him, and you had very much been a major asshole in general. But you had never been this hostile.
“Let me say this once, so we can all be done with it, and never talk about this again, Potter,” you sharply stated. “I am sorry that I wasn’t who you wanted me to be. However, let me make it clear that this was my secret and mine to share. And I made perfectly clear that I was not going to, so your blatant disrespect to publicly call me out the way you did, is simply appalling.”
Remus called James’ name and James made the mistake to look back. When he turned to you again, you were already further down the hall, turning the corner with a steady pace.
James didn’t see you around anymore until Thursday morning. His eyes basically lit up and he repeated his apology in his head. “L/N, wait,” James tried, and he chased after you. Unlike last time, you didn’t stop. Curious students watched you two pass while James tried to match your pace.
“Hear me out, please.”
“I said all I wanted to say, Potter. Let’s stay out of each other’s way from now on.”
“After you let me explain,” James pleaded.
You laughed. “Nothing you tell me will change my mind. I won’t believe anything that comes out of your mouth.” You gave him an annoyed look.
Still, James was not planning on giving up. You weren’t the only determined one here. He grabbed your arm and dragged you into a room. Your eyes squinted and gave him the dirtiest look they could. James immediately let go of you, hands up in defence, a string of apologies following suit.
You glared at him and went to walk straight out of the room when James pulled you back again, and this time, he cupped the sides of your face, and pressed his lips to yours.
For a moment, you hesitated, utterly confused and surprisingly rather okay with the unwarranted kiss. And then anger hit you. Did he bloody think this would woo you, and sweep you off your feet and make everything alright? How dare he kiss you in attempt to manipulate you. You slapped him across the face in shock less than a second later. James blinked back at you in horror at his own actions.
“Godric, no- I- I am so bloody sorry, I shouldn’t have- I’m- I don’t know what went through my head, please wait-” You slammed the door in his face when you left. James hit his head softly against the door. And then he hit it again but a bit harder as he cursed. “What the hell is wrong with you mate,” he groaned to himself. “You bloody git.”
He stared at the dark wood of the door in front of him reluctantly. To be honest, he wouldn’t mind just staying in the room to rot away, how was he going to face you now?
“Lily, please go in my place,” he begged the redhead. “I’ll take your Tuesday shift, I promise.”
Lily shook her head. “Stop being a baby, James. You reap what you sow and I’m not patrolling tonight.” She walked past James and then turned back around.
“Some friendly advice, James, stop being so pushy. No is no, and it might have been cute as 11-year-olds, but not anymore. We’re no longer kids. But good luck.”
James reluctantly dragged himself towards the Great Hall where he could see you pick your nails in front of the door. He felt ashamed, guilty, and absolutely not ready to look you in the eye.
“Hi,” he awkwardly managed. “So about-“
“You’re late. Let’s get a move on it.” You cut him off.
“Right, yeah, we should do that- patrolling.”
It was quiet, not a word spoken between the two of you as James trailed half a step behind you. He glanced at the side of your face. Shadows and light flickered across your face every time you passed a torch.
The silence of the castle did him good, he realised. He’d much rather walk in silence next to you, than be in the midst of all that chaos that was going on right now. He smiled and stuffed his hands in his pocket happily.
“What are you smiling about,” you asked, a frown on your face.
“Hm? What? Oh, sorry.” The smile dropped of James’ face.
“Well, you don’t have to stop smiling because I said so,” you shot him a strange look. “I just wanted to know what’s so funny.”
“Oh, it’s nothing.” A beat. And then, “Lily told me to stop trying to apologise to you if you don’t want to hear it.”
You considered his words. You supposed you mostly wanted someone to be angry at. You didn’t want to hear James out and then maybe see that your anger was misdirected. You wanted to stay bitter.
“I don’t.”
“Okay, well, I’ll stop.”
“Good.”
Despite the fact that he hadn’t been able to apologise, and nothing had been cleared up between the two of you, both of you felt yourselves relax a little more. You continued to roam the corridors in silence.
The next three patrols were spent in the same basked silence, occasionally one or two words exchanged. James had so many things he wanted to tell you, but he didn’t want to ruin anything. And then you suddenly spoke up again.
“Good luck tomorrow.”
James perked up at your words. “Thank you,” he grinned at you gratefully. “Are you going to watch the game?”
You shook your head. “No, I’ll be helping out in the infirmary.”
“Did you finish your herbal research then?”
Your eyes flickered up at him in surprise. “Yeah, Madame Pomfrey and I will put it to test.” James nodded along.
“Well, if you ever need a patient, I’d volunteer,” he joked. He watched in triumph as you shook your head in amusement.
“Better check your broom for hexes tomorrow,” you replied. “wouldn’t want you to fall off your broom and break a bone or two.” James snorted.
You pulled the curtain to the side with an exasperated expression. “I was only kidding Yesterday, Potter. What on earth are you doing here.”
James gave you a weak smile, trying to hide the pain in his arm and ribs. “Volunteering to be your very first patient, of course.”
“Tell me you didn’t break your bones on purpose,” you squinted your eyes at him.
“I didn’t break my bones on purpose,” James obediently replied. He shifted in curiosity as you rummaged through a cabinet. “Is this not fixable with any spells?” He pondered when he saw you pull out several vials.
“Externally, yes. But you’d be in the same excruciating pain as if they were still broken. You motioned towards the vials. “Hence the herbal potions.”
“Is that the one with the Nettle and Dittany?” James nodded his head to the bottle on the left.
You hummed in approval, not bothering to hide the fact that you were impressed. “Who knows, Potter. Maybe you have a future of a healer as well.” James beamed in pride at your compliment.
“Just keeping my options open.” James sighed happily. He was glad that he could joke around with you again. You tapped a bottle against his cheek. He let you pour the potion into his mouth.
“Now what?”
“Now we wait.” You pulled out a stool and sat down with a notebook in case you needed to take notes of the effects of the potion. At one point, you must have fallen asleep with your face buried on James’ infirmary bed. A strand of hair was tickling your nose and you huffed to get it out of the way. James shifted to tuck it away with his non-injured hand.
You opened your eyes and jumped up. You looked around disoriented and when your eyes landed on James, who had tilted his head, you felt embarrassment creep up on you. “I’m terribly sorry, that was unprofessional of me. Are you feeling any better?”
James nodded. He sat up to prove it, swinging his legs over the edge of the bed. “All better. And if you get to apologise, so do I, right?” He looked at you hopefully, internally praying that you wouldn’t just march out straight away. “Will you hear me out?”
You sighed, knowing what would come next, but this time you sat down on the stool again instead of walking away.
“I didn’t know.” When you didn’t respond, he repeated himself. “I didn’t know it was you, and I didn’t know it was going to be published in the newspaper because I wouldn’t do that- you know that I wouldn’t.”
He looked at you and saw you staring back at him. He took it as a sign to continue and cleared his throat. It felt so dry all of a sudden. You quietly reached for a cup of water and handed it to him. James took a sip, a deep breath, and started to ramble on without breaks.
“Sirius found your parchment and then you sisters found it too, but I didn’t. I really didn’t. Sirius said they had already run off and he tried to fix it on his own, so he didn’t tell me, and I only found out right before you did and I would never have written such a mean article about you, because we’re friends- well, at the very least I considered us friends- and I just wanted you to like me because-” James stopped.
“What, you fancy me?” you rhetorically commented.
James’ heart stopped and his face flushed. “No, of course not! I just- Well, I don’t know- It’s, uh I guess I just,” James tried to form a coherent answer, trying to weigh what answer would scare you away.
You frowned and let your eyes flicker across his face. “Stop it,” you shook your head in denial.
“Would it be so bad?” James murmured. “I didn’t know. But I know I liked the girl behind the paper. And I know I liked my patrol partner.” He hesitated and took a step forward. “I think you liked me too, before you knew my name.”
“Yeah,” you replied. “Before I knew your name. Once I learned it, I no longer did,” you lied. “Because we would never work. Every student said so. All the whispers and comments, insults and rumour were right.”
James shook his head.
“So, date me to spite them. Prove them wrong,” It was a pathetic attempt, but he saw the consideration flash in your eyes, and the more he thought about it, the more he started to get convinced that this was a decent idea.
“You’d have us enter a fake relationship to spite everyone?”
“It wouldn’t be fake to me,” James shrugged, getting more confident by your open attitude. “And who knows, maybe I can convince you that the guy from the paper is still inside of me.”
“This is so stupid,” you shook your head.
“Guess what,” Sirius asked Remus, he covered the page of the book Remus was reading to capture his attention.
Remus slapped Sirius’ hand away. “What,” he replied curtly. Sirius moved to sit on the table of the library. “Are you angry?”
“Mildly annoyed, yes.”
“Because…” Sirius trailed off unsurely. He hoped that Remus would finish the sentence for him, which, luckily for Sirius, Remus did.
“Because I think it’s time you guys stop pestering her. I know you planned to get James in the infirmary. Leave her be, you’ve done enough damage as it is.” He sounded disapproving. Sirius dropped himself back on the table, laying across it as if he was a sacrifice on an altar.
“Prongs likes her.”
“Yeah? Well, he’s handling it terribly,” Remus drily remarked. He took off his glasses and started to wipe them with the hem of his sweater. Sirius patted his pockets, reached into his left one and handed Remus a cleaning cloth for glasses.
“Why are you guys nice to me,” Remus asked quietly.
“What are you talking about Moony, you’re our best friend?”
“I know, but why?” Remus lowered his voice. “I’m a werewolf, aren’t I? I’m a literal monster. So why are you nice to me. But somehow feel the need to keep pranking and bullying Slytherin students? We’re in our last year. Don’t you think we should grow up?” And with ‘we’, he meant ‘Sirius and James’.
‘I know, Moony.”
“Do you now?”
“I think I’m going to talk to Regulus.”
Remus choked on his spit. “I’m sorry, Pads, you’re what?”
“I just don’t want to be like L/N’s siblings. I know I sort of am, but I don’t want to be. And you said we should start being nicer right?”
“Pads, last time you said something to him, he literally hexed you.”
“I insulted him,” Sirius heard himself say and he felt weird for a moment.
“He’s after your ass during every Quidditch game, trying to knock you off your broom.”
“Well, that’s just the point of Quidditch,” Sirius defended again.
Remus smiled at Sirius. “Alright, just be careful. Mid-terms are coming up and I’m too busy with studies to fix you up again.”
Sirius grinned. “If all goes well with Prongs, I could ask L/N to patch me up.” Remus threw a quill at him. “I think I’ll go find L/N later, see if she knows where my brother is.”
The door opened and Remus looked behind him. He did a double take and put his glasses back on to make sure he was seeing things correctly. Sirius was still laying on the table, looking at the ceiling.
“I think I’ve found her,” Remus remarked, uncertainly.
Sirius sat up and gaped at the sight on you and James, walking into the library together while talking. James was holding a pile of books and by the colour of the cover, he knew that those were not James’.
“I’m sorry, did I miss something?”
You looked up in alarm at the words and found Sirius and Remus sitting at a table in the corner. “We talked it out,” you nonchalantly mentioned. Remus gave you a smile and Sirius just stared at you. Then; “Hell yeah, Prongs, I knew you had it in you to confess.” Sirius jumped off the table and patted you on the back with a grin.
You laughed back uncertainly and looked at James with questioning eyes. James looked back at you, reassuringly. He moved all of your books to one hand and guided you to a seat with the other.
“Where’s Regulus,” Sirius asked immediately as soon as you sat down.
You raised your eyebrows. “He’s in the astronomy tower. Didn’t want to join James and I to the library.” You smiled at recollection of the younger Black’s reaction to you and James.
“No way.” He had replied. “What are you two planning?” James had looked at Regulus with an offended look. “What are you talking about? I fancy Y/N and she fancies me, so we decided to make it official.”
“Yeah, I’ll believe you fancy Y/N, but there is just no way she would enter a relationship with you of all people. What’s the deal.”
Sirius nodded. “Well,” he started, “I mean, if he wants to, he uh, the library is a public space, so he could join. If he wants.” Sirius awkwardly sat down on a chair. You squinted your eyes at him. “I’ll be sure to let him know,” you said. You watched as Sirius puffed out a sigh in relief.
You glanced down at the messy scribbles on Sirius’ paper and raised your eyebrows. You’d imagined that the elder Black would have a better handwriting than that. “Anyway, do you need help with Transfiguration as well?”
The news of your relationship spread like fire. Your sisters both received it with a sour look on their faces. “He’ll see we were right, and he’ll leave you again,” they said, purposely loud enough for you to hear it. James had just entered the room and walked straight past them towards you with a flower. He dropped it next to you and sat down beside you.
Against your will, your heart made a small jump and the corners of your mouth tugged upwards. James’ eyes flickered towards your lips and quickly looked away happily. Then he leaned in a little and whispered, “We’re not breaking up if it’s up to me.”
He shifted in his seat, subtly scooting over closer to you. “Go on a date with me tonight,” James whispered.
“We don’t have time tonight. Patrol, remember?” You argued back.
James grinned and shook his head. “Afterwards.”
“It’s past bedtime afterwards. I will not-”
“Sneak around the castle and get caught, I know. But you forget that I have an invisibility cloak.”
You laughed this time. “I’m almost tempted to take 20 points off Gryffindor for your outrageous plan.” Your eyes twinkled and James joined in. He put his hand over his heart in fake shock. “You wouldn’t do that to your boyfriend,” he squinted his eyes, challenging you.
“If he misbehaves,” you answer amusedly. But then you hummed in thought. “Fine, I’ll bite, what do you have in mind.”
James’ grin widened. “The lake’s still frozen,” he whispered. You deadpanned. “I can’t skate.”
James leaned his head against you. “Exactly, it’s the perfect chance for me to show you my gentlemanly skills and woo you.” You turned your head and breathed in the smell of James’ shampoo. "You just want an excuse to hold my hand," you mumbled in his hair. You could feel James smile against your shoulder. “I’m your boyfriend, I don’t need excuses,” he joked.
James swore his heartrate sped up an unhealthy amount when you confirmed, “No you don’t.”
He was absolutely beaming next to you as you were patrolling down the corridor, hand in hand. Your eyes flickered over to James once in a while. It was suspicious to you that he’d been quiet the entire time. James on the other hand was just looking at your intertwined hands with interest.
“Never held hands with a girl before, Potter?” You laughed, but no venom was found in your voice.
James nodded. “Never held hands with a girl before,” he confirmed, not ashamed at all for it. Why should he. You looked at him with curiosity. “What about Lily?”
James snorted. “Have you ever seen us hold hands?”
“Nope,” you popped the ‘p’.
“I was stressing a lot about being a good boyfriend, my hands got really sweaty,” James bashfully explained. You lifted both your hands and squeezed his hand a few times. “You don’t stress about being a good boyfriend for me?” you couldn’t help but ask. You immediately groaned internally and looked straight to the floor, intently watching your feet as they simply fascinatingly put one in front of the other. I mean, have you ever seen something so-. James wasn’t having it.
“’m not stressing with you. I have a pretty good feeling about us.” He sighed contently. You huffed. “Well, I have high standards, and I’ve been told I’m pretty high maintenance, Potter.” You stuck your nose in the air haughtily.
“First, you should stop calling me Potter,” he remarked.
“James,” you nodded. A chill ran up his spine. “And second?” you inquired.
“Second?”
“Second,” you looked at him expectantly.
“Oh! Right, second; I didn’t know you had a relationship before?” And just as soon as those words left his lips, he cussed himself out in his head. Great, now he seemed either a twat as if he couldn’t believe someone like you could have a relationship, or a twat who was jealous and obsessive. And it’s only the first week. James averted his eyes to the wall on his left. Ah yes, the wall seems to be made of stone. Very sturdy, very wall-like-
“No, I’ve been single pretty much my whole life.” You put on your usual sour face, and vaguely gestured to it. “Not very approachable, as I prefer.”
“Then who calls you high maintenance?” James thought bitterly, feeling the need to defend you. “Calm down, prince Charming,” you reassured him with a laugh. Maybe you could see the charm in his recklessness. “I can fight my own battles. And basically, everyone calls me high maintenance.”
The two of you walked side by side in silence again, making your way to the prefect room. You rummaged through a drawer, pulled out a document and started to fill it in. James leaned against the table. “Where do you go during Spring Break? Do you stay at Hogwarts? Because I can also stay at Hogwarts to keep you company, you know.”
“I have my own apartment.”
“You’re not even of age yet,” James pointed out, trying to hide his disappointment unsuccessfully at a missed opportunity of spending time with you.
“Professor McGonagall vouched for me,” you replied. James’ eyebrows flew up. “McGonagall?” He asked in disbelief. You just hummed in reply while you flipped the page to continue filling in the report.
“Well, if you want you can come with me?” You stopped writing and looked up at him intently. As if you were searching his face for any hidden intentions. When you didn’t find any, you gave him an apologetic look.
“That’s kind of you, James,” you smiled. “But I have Regulus staying with me.”
“He doesn’t stay at the Black manor?” James was surprised. You tilted your head. “Tell me, does Sirius stay at the Black manor?”
James quickly shut his mouth as realization dawned on him. Oh.
“Well,” he awkwardly shifted. “You’re both welcome,” he offered. You shook your head in laughing at the mental image. The thought of Regulus and Sirius living together for two weeks was just hilarious.
“I’m done, we can go.”
“Alright, I just need to pick up my invisibility cloak from the Gryffindor common room.”
“I’ll wait here,” you nodded. James offered you a strange look.
“What?” You asked, looking up at him.
“You’re not going with me?”
“What all the way up to the third floor? I think not,” you snorted, plopping down on a chair, and making yourself comfortable.
James huffed and didn’t move. “But what if something happens to me on the way there?” He dramatically sat down next to you on a different chair.
“What on earth could happen to you on the way to your room. This is Hogwarts, you know. The safest place in England probably.”
“What if a monster attacks me, and then I can’t come back, and you’ll think that I stood you up?” James retorted with a pout.
You shook your head and pinched the bridge of you nose. “There are no monsters in this castle, James, where do you think we are? You’re not going to run into a Basilisk on your way.”
James squinted his eyes at you. “But can you promise me that with 100% certainty?” You rolled your eyes in response. “Of course not, but would you take me with you and expose me to such dangers?” you sarcastically retorted.
“Well, technically speaking, and I’m not saying all Slytherins,” James held up his hands at your narrowed eyes. “Snakes are kind of your thing, right?” You closed your eyes. “Charming, you are. Let’s just go,” you sighed.
James grinned in victory as he held the door open for you. “For the record, I would totally protect you from a Basilisk.”
“If you say so.”
Sirius sat up in bed when the door opened, but no one came in. “Hey Prongs, how was ice skating?”
James removed the invisibility cloak to reveal your shivering form. Both of you drenched from head to toe, water still dripping from the locks in front of his eyes. “Got pulled under,” he stressed. “I didn’t know where to take her, I couldn’t let her clean record be tainted for being out past bedtime because of me, and I don’t know the Slytherin password, so I brought her here,” he started to ramble in a loud whisper.
Remus grumbled as he sat up too. “Bloody hell, Prongs, did you take her to the black lake or what?” And when James didn’t respond, “Mate, what is wrong with you.” He got up and walked to the bathroom to get a few dry towels to wrap you in.
James discarded his soaked clothes and dried himself off before putting on pyjamas. Then the three of them stared awkwardly at each other. “Well, she needs to get out of those cold clothes,” Remus remarked. Sirius stepped back. “Yeah, not my girl, not my duty,” he walked over to his bed and dropped down on it.
“Right.”
You woke up and the first thing you noticed was the red colours all around you. You sat up suddenly and blinked a few times. What happened? Oh, right. A hand had broken through the ice, wrapped itself around your ankle and harshly pulled you down into the freezing depths. So that means you’re either dead, or James got you out and brought you to the Gryffindor dorms instead of the infirmary because he kept your clean records in mind. Your heart filled with appreciation at the thought of that.
You looked around and found James on the floor next to you. He was curled up in an extra blanket, but it must be uncomfortable. You went to pull out your wand when you realised that you were wearing his sweater. The little shit changed your clothes, you huffed.
You quietly got up, found your clothes drying in the bathroom and slipped out your wand. With a quick levitation spell, you gently tucked James back into his own bed. Your eyes fell on the two parchments on the nightstand, and you allowed a nostalgic smile to adorn your face. You moved his hair out of the way and let your eyes rest on his peaceful face. Realising you were being creepy, you hastily turned around and snuck out of the room with your clothes and a rolled-up parchment.
“And where have you been,” Regulus sat on the common room armchair in front of the door. He looked like he hadn’t properly slept, and his tone was sharp. “And what atrocity are you wearing. Tell me you didn’t sleep with him?”
“You’re my brother, Regulus, not my mother,” you teased him. You pulled out a chair to sit next to him. “And no, I went skating, fell into the water, blacked out and woke up alive in the Gryffindor dorm. So don’t hex James, if anything you can thank him.”
There was a beat of silence. “I’m glad you’re okay, I was worried.”
“I’m sorry for worrying you. Did you stay up all night?”
“Yes, but mostly because I wanted to tell you something.” You didn’t immediately reply, waiting for Regulus to continue on his own instead.
“Sirius came up to the astronomy tower yesterday evening,” he quietly said. His voice sounded confused, as if he was still unsure of what had actually occurred.
“Are you okay?”
“Of course, I’m okay,” Regulus immediately said. “It’s just that he apologized.” He shrugged. “You think he meant it?”
You thought it over. “I think he did. He asked me last week you know. Where you are, and that if you ever want to join us in the library, you can.” Regulus nodded deep in thought.
“You know, James actually invited both of us over for the Spring Break.” You looked at Regulus to gauge his reaction to that. He looked slightly interested, though he tried to hide it.
“I suppose it’s still a month away, so we’ll see what we want then.”
You nodded and then got up off the chair. “I’m going to change into something else, before my fellow house students want to jinx me,” you said.
“You’re dating James Potter; people already want to jinx you.”
You winked at him. “Well, I’ll be damned, you’re absolutely right. Isn’t that funny? You know what, let them try,” you challenged them as you smoothened James’ sweater.
James woke up and sat up straight in bed, confused. How did he get here? He Looked at the end of his bed and saw it still neatly tucked in- hospital corners. His lips twitched up. You had left, he realised, but you’d tucked him in. He let himself fall back onto his pillow and turned his head to the side. Then he frowned, put on his glasses, and grabbed the parchment. In your lovely handwriting was a message.
Maybe not a Basilisk, but you protected me as you said. Thank you, James. (All things considered, I enjoyed last night.)
James’ eyes traced the words before he carefully placed the parchment under his pillow with a giddy feeling in his heart.
James found you in the library with Remus. His heart skipped a beat when he saw that you were still wearing his sweater. Red looked out of place on you and James absolutely loved it. Sirius shared a look with him and then the both of them decided to sneak up on the two of you, simultaneously stealing your books from under you.
You and Remus narrowed your eyes at the both of them. “I am this close to kicking you guys.” You held up your hand to show your thumb and finger pressed together. James shifted his weight from one foot to the other. “But they’re touching,” he hesitantly responded. Sirius elbowed him in the ribs and quickly handed Remus both your books back.
You sarcastically faked a gasp. “Oh, Merlin, you’re right, they appear to be.”
James cheekily grinned and pressed a kiss to your temple. “You wouldn’t hurt your knight in shining armour,” he bragged, but without any real arrogance laced in his tone. You flipped him off with a grin and pulled out a chair for him next to you. “You’re late,” you airily said.
Sirius suddenly straightened up, his attention fixed on someone behind you. You turned around and waved Regulus over. “Come join us, Reg.”
Three weeks flew by in a blur, but- even though you’ve said this so often now- your were really enjoying your time at Hogwarts again. People’s gossips and predictions about yours and James’ relationship had turned into quiet whispers and envy.
James stood up for you on multiple occasions- after letting you have a go at the imbeciles of course. You had finally gone to a Quidditch game to support James, though of course not when they were playing against Slytherin. You had spent more time in the infirmary and James had joined you a few times by hanging out on one of the empty beds, occasionally handing you an ingredient such as Wolfsbane.
After having established that you absolutely loved hugs, James was always less that a step behind you, ready to give you the affection that you were too proud for to admit you wanted. You had been a frequent visitor to the boys’ dorms as well, making yourself comfortable in James’ arms as you dozed off for a nap. On other nights, you have even managed to persuade Regulus to join a handful of times as well. You wondered what would happen when James would graduate before you, but tried not to think much of it.
“So, we are definitely going to Hogsmeade together this week, right?” James popped up behind you and pressed a kiss to your cheek.
“How scandalous, are you asking me out on a date?”
“Yeah, why? You have a boyfriend or something?” James humoured you.
“Or something,” you joked. The innocent comment hit both you and James at the same time. A reminder that you two were in fact technically not really dating. You shook the thought away.
“I’ll see you at 11 o’clock,” you replied.
James grinned, “I’ll be there five minutes earlier.”
True to his words, he was waiting for you in the courtyard when you arrived on the dot. James offered you his arm and you linked yours through his.
“James?” James hummed in reply. “Does your offer about Spring Break still stand? I mean, I know it’s next week already, and it’s sort of short notice-”
James perked up. “Yes!” he said, a little too quickly and enthusiastic. He cleared his throat and lowered his volume. “Yes, you and Regulus can still come.”
You sighed and nodded in relief. “Right, because Reg and I have been talking and we might take you up on that offer.”
It was evening by the time you and James made your way back to Hogwarts. James had his arm wrapped around your shoulders, and you held his hand. James pressed a kiss to your temple every now and then. “What happened to the glass slippers?” He suddenly asked.
“They broke.”
“They broke?”
“Yep.”
“But didn’t you enchant them?”
“I did, but I was so angry at you that I smashed them to pieces against the wall like over two months ago.”
“Oh… But have you changed your mind since then?” James decided to finally ask you.
“About what?”.
“Me, and us.”
You looked at James and quietly admired him. James kept his eyes straight in front of him, too scared to look at you and see your reaction.
“Well, we are walking together, coming back from Hogsmeade. There’s not a student in sight and yet we are still holding hands,” You light-heartedly replied with a teasing smile. You squeezed his hand for good measure. It seemed enough to make James look at you.
“I’d say we’re pretty good friends-”
“I’m in love with you.”
You froze in your tracks and let go of James’ hand. Well, that took you by surprise. Fancying someone and claiming to be in love with someone- not loving but being in love- that was a next level. You smiled amusedly, successfully hiding your insecurities. “James, you’re not in love with me.”
James frowned at your response. He’d accept your rejection, but not you doubting his feelings.
“Yes, I am,” he stubbornly responded.
“No, you’re not,” you retorted, equally stubborn.
“Am too.”
“You’re not, James,” you exasperatedly said. “You’re not in love, you just fancy me because you’re comfortable.” You shrugged awkwardly. "And you only feel comfortable with me because I know so much about you. Because you poured your heart out to a stranger, and it so happened to be me.”
James bit his cheek, considering your words. Then he grinned and nodded. Your heart dropped, but not as much as it could have, because you had already prepared yourself for this. The joy behind setting yourself up for disappointment by never letting yourself get your hopes up.
“Yeah, I’m really comfortable with you.” He agreed. “Isn’t that great? Isn’t that love too? Being comfortable to the point you don’t feel the need to keep secrets anymore, where you feel the most accepted? The most at ease?”
You stared at James then cleared your throat. “So, when did you start being all knowledgeable and romantic?”
James snorted. You were adorable when you were awkward. “I’m the most comfortable with you,” he earnestly confessed to you. He carefully, as if to not scare you away, put a step forward and reached for your hand. He squeezed it softly. I mean it.
James felt you pull your hand back and bit his lip, forcing it to curl up into an accepting smile. “Right,” he cleared his throat as he tried to form a reply. But you weren’t done yet. You pulled back your hand and then threw both your arms around James’ neck as your brought him in a tight hug. You dipped your head down into the crook of his neck.
“And I’m the most vulnerable with you,” you mumbled against his skin. James sighed in relief, happiness, and love. He wrapped his arms around you protectively, as if to shield you in response.
You tilted your head sideways as you looked at James who was in front of you, down on one knee in your garden. James looked beautiful. His cheeks were slightly coloured from the cold and his hands held a small box with a ring.
“Love?” He asked, waving his hand in front of you, trying to get your attention. He didn’t sound nervous at all, in fact, he felt the most relaxed he’d ever been. This was definitely the future he’d imagined when he’d watched you laugh with his dad while bringing in the groceries. “My knee is getting numb from the cold, love. So, if you could just say yes or no,” he cheekily grinned.
You hummed in thought and then you replied, “Well, isn’t marriage a little too soon?” Your grin widened and spread across your face. “I mean, you’ve yet to officially ask me to be your real girlfriend.”
“Wait what-”
The end :)
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Getting You Alone Isn’t Easy
summary: two reckless lovers, one ill-timed call, and zero chance of stopping
warnings: suggestive but not explicit
a/n: the length of time it took me to decide on a title for this was painful
word count: 1.5k
part 1
-
You’re draped over Alexia, straddling her in the faint, golden light that sneaks through the blinds. Her hands grip your hips in that familiar way, like you’re the last thing keeping her from floating off. You’re gasping, breathless, clinging to the taut warmth of her body beneath you as though the world is ending and this is your only way to stay grounded. Her hands, usually gentle, are digging in hard enough to leave bruises, but she’s sweet like that, knows exactly when you need to feel it. You can almost picture the bruises they’ll leave behind, thumbprints like violet ink smudged across your skin, each one a reminder that she was here, and that she wanted you badly enough to leave a mark.
It’s been a day, one of those long ones that started with a sun-blinded hangover, progressed into a searing headache, and then—once you forced yourself to actually acknowledge the calls you missed last night—moved rapidly toward near apocalyptic levels of panic.
Somewhere between the drink you had to “take the edge off” and the fourth one you drank without even thinking about it, Alexia texted you, and it felt like a solution, or maybe a distraction, though those two things are the same to you most of the time.
So here you are, in the thick of it, your bodies wrapped around each other, your mind slipping into that strange, dreamlike state where it feels like your skin isn’t your own. Everything’s heightened—her touch, her scent, the whisper of her breath on your neck. You’re right at the edge, teetering, and then—
Your phone rings.
Of course it fucking does.
At first, you ignore it. The vibrating hum is muffled against the sheets, barely noticeable above your own heartbeat, but then it rings again, louder this time, insistent. It’s like a drill sergeant at dawn, determined to ruin whatever peace you’d managed to find. You freeze, eyes half-closed, but Alexia’s hands don’t loosen. She’s looking up at you with an expression that’s half bemused, half annoyed, as if she’s only just managed to convince herself that you’re here, and now you’re about to ruin it with some petty, buzzing bit of reality.
You almost get through it, on the cusp letting it go to voicemail or hurling the damn thing into the bottom of your Birkin where it belongs. But something in you—a survival instinct, maybe—forces you to reach for it, fumbling as you do so. Alexia’s eyes follow your hand, then flick back up to yours with an exasperated look that says, Really? Now?
You manage to grab it without rolling entirely off her, though it’s a close call. Her hands move down to your waist, still holding you in place as you glance at the screen, and of course, it’s George. It’s always George. You swear he has some kind of sixth sense, an uncanny ability to detect the exact moment you’ve slipped into some semblance of happiness, so he can yank you back with some catastrophe or another. The man is a walking interruption.
“Don’t,” Alexia murmurs, pulling you back to the matter at hand, her voice soft but firm, her hands slipping up to your ribs with a kind of slow, determined patience. But you know better. If you don’t answer now, he’ll only call back five more times, and each time, he’ll sound more panicked, until he finally leaves you a voice note that’s somehow worse than the call itself.
“I have to,” you mutter, as you answer, attempting to clear your throat and sound like you weren’t just seconds away from giving in to everything she was doing to you.
“Hello?” you say, trying and failing to keep the breathlessness out of your voice.
George’s voice crackles through the speaker, shrill and brimming with that particular brand of theatrical urgency agents reserve for “crises.” He sounds faintly nasal, the sort of voice you imagine would belong to a man with an allergy to anything fun. You imagine him sitting in his cold, grey office somewhere in Soho, every surface immaculate and white, his expression permanently fixed into a grimace of perpetual disappointment.
“You need to sit down,” he says, voice pitched in that “I’m barely holding it together” tone that never actually means anything good.
“I am sitting,” you manage, though it comes out sounding more like a gasp than anything else, because Alexia—God bless her—is now trailing her lips along the column of your throat, completely unbothered by the fact that you’re very much occupied now. In fact, you’re convinced she’s doing this on purpose, her eyes meeting yours with that devilish glint that says she’s fully aware of what she’s doing. You pull back and give her a look—part warning, part exasperation—but she only grins, slowly, like she’s daring you to keep up the charade.
George doesn’t miss a beat. “There are photos,” he says, each syllable dripping with an ominous weight that would make anyone else think he was delivering news of a tragedy.
“Photos?” you ask, as Alexia’s hand slips a little higher, her fingers just grazing the edge of your panties. You’re barely holding it together, biting down hard on your lip to keep from making a sound. “George, there are always photos. What are you on about?”
He sighs, the kind of exasperated sigh he reserves for when he’s forced to explain the intricacies of your own life to you. “Not just any photos,” he says, voice dropping to a whisper that somehow makes everything sound worse. “These are… explicit”
“Explicit?” you repeat, your voice catching because Alexia’s lips are trailing across your collarbone now, her fingers dangerously close to places that make it impossible to sound remotely professional. “Define explicit, George”
He pauses, a beat of silence so thick with hesitation you can practically see his nervous, tight-lipped expression. “You and Alexia. On that yacht. Full-on… everything. Let’s just say someone with a very long-range lens took a rather extensive interest in your… activities”
It takes a second for the words to register, but when they do, it’s like being doused in cold water. You’re suddenly hyper-aware of everything—the sweat on your skin, Alexia’s fingers toying with you, her mouth now having moved to the swell of your exposed breast. You can’t tell if you’re more annoyed or amused by the fact that, somehow, your most private moments have once again become public property.
Alexia looks up at you once more, eyes glinting with something between curiosity and enjoyment, as if she can tell exactly what George is saying and finds the whole thing hilarious.
“So you’re telling me,” you say, trying to sound casual, though it’s hard with Alexia’s hands and mouth all over you, “that someone out there’s publishing wildlife documentaries of my sex life?”
“Don’t be flippant,” George snaps, though his voice cracks a little, like he’s barely holding it together. “This is serious. The Daily Mail already has them. And they’re… well, they’re explicit. The kind of thing they’d plaster on the front page if they could get away with it”
For a moment, you consider the insanity of it all—your life, reduced to some tawdry tabloid spread, the kind of thing boring nosey housewives read in supermarket queues. You imagine the headlines, the breathless, shocked tones they’d use to describe “the scandal.” Never mind the fact that you’re not the first celebrity to get caught like this, nor will you be the last. But still, it stings in that strange, twisted way fame always does, a reminder that your life isn’t really your own.
“I’m sorry, George,” you say, barely stifling a moan as Alexia’s hand moves just right, making it almost impossible to keep up the conversation. “But I don’t exactly have a solution for you right now”
George lets out a strangled noise. “Well, you bloody well better come up with one. Unless you want the world to know what you look like without your clothes on. Which, I might add, is not exactly… career-friendly”
You stifle a laugh, more out of habit than anything else. Alexia’s fingers are moving with that slow, calculated patience she knows drives you mad, and you can feel your resolve slipping. “Look, George,” you say, your voice strained, “I’ll call you back. After I… handle things”
“What? You can’t just hang up on me!” he practically shrieks, but you’re already pressing ‘end call’ and tossing the phone aside.
The phone lands back somewhere on the bed, George’s panicked voice cutting off abruptly. For a moment, there’s silence, and then Alexia lets out a low, throaty laugh, her eyes alight with amusement. She reaches her free hand up, trailing her fingers along your jaw, and there’s something wicked in her smile that makes you forget the world outside the bedroom.
“Where were we?” you murmur, leaning down to capture her lips in a kiss, slow and lingering, the kind of kiss that makes you forget everything else.
“Right here,” she whispers, her voice soft but possessive, and you can’t help but smile as she pulls you back down, your bodies tangling once more as you lose yourself in her warmth.
#alexia putellas#alexia putellas x reader#fcb femeni#fcb femeni x reader#espwnt#espwnt x reader#woso#woso x reader#woso imagine#woso community
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the law of unintended consequences. | jake sim
... posits, that actions often have unforeseen and unanticipated effects, which may be positive, negative, or neutral, that are not part of the actor's original intent.
pairing: astrophysicist jake x assistant reader
genre: angst, fluff
au: clumsy assistant x oblivious genius
wc: part 1 - 20k | part 2 - 17.3k | part 3 - 21.2k | part 4 - 26.3k
a/n: had to do sumn sciency geeky for my boyyy. btw ion know shit about galaxies and space and all that, i’m googling my way through this pls be kind ;-;
PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3 | PART 4 (complete.)
jake sim is a genius. a literal, world-altering, lab-coated prodigy whose brain works at speeds the average person can’t even comprehend.
he is also, unfortunately, a menace to basic workplace efficiency.
you’ve learned this the hard way.
because for all his brilliance, jake has zero awareness of his surroundings. he’ll abandon pens in entirely different departments, walk off mid-sentence because he’s already three equations ahead in his mind, and somehow exist in a state of constant near-calamity – like a human science experiment teetering on the edge of disaster.
which is where you come in.
you, the assistant who keeps his world running. the one who reminds him to eat. the one who nudges a coffee into his hands before he even realizes he needs it. the one who subtly rearranges his misplaced files, retrieves his lost stationery, and – on more than one occasion – has saved his life by yanking him out of the way of an incoming cart of hazardous materials.
you do all of this seamlessly. efficiently. and completely unnoticed.
because jake sim doesn’t know your name.
not really.
you’re just the person who hands him reports and dodges his absentminded shoulder bumps in the hallway. the one he thanks without looking up, too engrossed in his work to register you as anything more than background noise.
which is why the little things don’t make sense.
like the elevator doors opening just when you needed them. like the pens you leave for him somehow finding their way back to your desk.
like the strip of foam padding that appeared overnight on the sharp-edged desk you walked into yesterday, placed so precisely, so intentionally, that you’d think someone had been tracking your movement patterns.
and later, when you catch jake in the break room, frowning in concentration as he absentmindedly presses the foam with his fingertips – testing its durability, like it’s some great scientific mystery – before walking off without a word…
you don’t know what to make of it.
maybe it’s nothing. maybe he’s just kind. maybe this is how geniuses operate – solving problems without realizing the impact of their solutions.
or maybe – just maybe – this is how it starts.
the law of unintended consequences.
because jay had said it once, smug and certain:
"make yourself less available. make him notice the gaps."
and as you run your fingers over the foam padding, you wonder—
if jake sim, in all his effortless brilliance, has finally noticed the empty spaces you left behind.
#enhypen imagines#enhypen jake imagines#jake sim imagines#jake enhypen imagines#enhypen x reader#enhypen x you#jake sim angst#enhypen angst#law of unintended consequences#masterlist
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Dandelion News - January 15-21
Like these weekly compilations? Tip me at $kaybarr1735 or check out my Dandelion Doodles!
1. Landmark debt swap to protect Indonesia’s coral reefs
“The government of Indonesia announced this week a deal to redirect more than US$ 35 million it owes to the United States into the conservation of coral reefs in the most biodiverse ocean area on Earth.”
2. [FWS] Provides Over $1.3 Billion to Support Fish and Wildlife Conservation and Outdoor Access
“Through these combined funds, agencies have supported monitoring and management of over 500 species of wild mammals and birds, annual stocking of over 1 billion fish, operations of fish and wildlife disease laboratories around the country, and provided hunter and aquatic education to millions of students.”
3. Philippine Indigenous communities restore a mountain forest to prevent urban flooding
“Indigenous knowledge systems and practices are considered in the project design, and its leaders and members have been involved throughout the process, from agreeing to participate to identifying suitable land and selecting plant species that naturally grow in the area.”
4. Responsible Offshore Wind Development is a Clear Win for Birds, the U.S. Economy, and our Climate
“[T]he total feasible offshore wind capacity along U.S. coasts is more than three times the total electricity generated nationwide in 2023. […] Proven strategies, such as reducing visible lights on turbines and using perching deterrents on turbines, have been effective in addressing bird impacts.”
5. Illinois awards $100M for electric truck charging corridor, Tesla to get $40M
“The project will facilitate the construction of 345 electric truck charging ports and pull-through truck charging stalls across 14 sites throughout Illinois[…. E]lectrifying [the 30,000 daily long-haul] trucks would make a huge impact in the public health and quality of life along the heavily populated roadways.”
6. Reinventing the South Florida seawall to help marine life, buffer rising seas

“[The new seawall] features raised areas inspired by mangrove roots that are intended to both provide nooks and crannies for fish and crabs and other marine creatures and also better absorb some of the impact from waves and storm surges.”
7. Long Beach Commits to 100% All-Electric Garbage Trucks
“[Diesel garbage trucks] produce around a quarter of all diesel pollution in California and contribute to 1,400 premature deaths every year. Electric options, on the other hand, are quieter than their diesel counterparts and produce zero tailpipe emissions.”
8. ‘This Is a Victory': Biden Affirms ERA Has Been 'Ratified' and Law of the Land
“President Joe Biden on Friday announced his administration's official opinion that the amendment is ratified and its protections against sex-based discrimination are enshrined in the U.S. Constitution.”
9. A Little-Known Clean Energy Solution Could Soon Reach ‘Liftoff’
“Ground source heat pumps could heat and cool the equivalent of 7 million homes by 2035—up from just over 1 million today[…. G]eothermal energy is generally considered to be more popular among Republicans than other forms of clean energy, such as wind and solar.”
10. Researchers combine citizens' help and cutting-edge tech to track biodiversity

“Researchers in the project, which runs from 2022 to 2026, are experimenting with tools like drones, cameras and sensors to collect detailed data on different species, [… and] Observation.org, a global biodiversity platform where people submit pictures of animals and plants, helping to identify and monitor them.”
January 8-14 news here | (all credit for images and written material can be found at the source linked; I don’t claim credit for anything but curating.)
#good news#hopepunk#nature#national debt#coral reef#conservation#funding#fish and wildlife#philippines#indigenous#agroforestry#green infrastructure#offshore wind#wind energy#electric vehicles#illinois#florida#sea wall#habitat#california#equal rights#human rights#us politics#geothermal#biodiversity#citizen science#climate change#invasive species#endangered species#clean energy
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It is absolutely wild to me how people talk about Israeli and Jewish fears re: a one-state solution like we haven't seen this movie before. "It's just like the fears of white South Africans about the end of apartheid!" yes, I can see why South Africa would need to be your frame of reference here because there are zero (0) historical precedents/analogues for Jews being the target of violence by a resentful majority that blames them for all its problems. "They're just afraid of being treated like Palestinians!" no, actually, they're afraid of being treated like Jews.
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You got hurt on a mission ft. levi ackerman
a/n: today is my birthday youpi ! officially 8teen!
How your husband, Levi, react when you’re injured.
At first, Levi's expression would be carefully neutral, that trademark stoic mask firmly in place.
But those steel-grey eyes would instantly zero in on your injuries with laserlike intensity, cataloging every wound and judging their severity.
He'd immediately bark out a curt order for you to sit and not move while he gathered medical supplies.
That brusque tone would betray no hints of the internal turmoil and fear swirling inside seeing you bloodied and hurt.
As Levi tended to cleaning and dressing your wounds, his usual crass remarks and gruff manner would be completely abandoned.
Instead, his movements would be uncharacteristically gentle, deft fingers working with a delicate meticulousness you'd never seen before.
Not a single word would pass his lips the entire time.
Just a hyper-focused furrow of his brows and the occasional flicker of his jaw clenching hard enough you'd worry for his teeth.
The only sounds would be your soft inhales of breath whenever the antiseptic solution stung a bit.
Once the last bandage was taped down, Levi would sit back on his heels for a long moment, head bowed.
You'd be just about to open your mouth and try to reassure him when he'd suddenly surge forward without warning.
His powerful arms would engulf you in a grip just shy of painfully constricting.
Levi would haul you flush against his body, face buried in the juncture of your neck and shoulder as he pulled in great shuddering breaths.
You'd feel the slightest tremor race through him - the only hint at the profound fear he'd been grappling with at nearly losing you.
His voice, when it finally emerged, would be low and gritty with restrained emotion.
"Don't you ever...put me through that hell again, brat. You hear me?"
The reprimand would lack any real bite, more of a broken rasp muffled against your skin.
Then Levi would simply stay there, arms an unbreakable vise around you, shielding and anchoring you in the safety of his ironclad strength.
He'd rock you both in a subconscious soothing cadence, one hand cupping the back of your head protectively.
For once, the fearsome soldier would entirely let his guard down - allowing himself to temporarily succumb to vulnerability in your presence.
No arduous frontiers to map or battlelines to fortify in these precious moments after nearly losing you.
Only when you finally began drifting in a lulled, half-conscious state would Levi gather you up with reverent care.
He'd tuck you securely into your shared quarters, standing inscrutable vigil over your resting form like an immovable sentinel until the last vestiges of his internal tempest settled.
And tucked amid that steely regard would be one tiny glimmer of raw adoration and tenderness he only ever allowed you to witness.
A fleeting acknowledgment of the cherished nature of your presence having returned safely into his world once more - source of his singular, most profound devotion.
#fluff#aot x female reader#aot x y/n#aot x you#aot x reader#aot headcanons#aot fluff#levi x y/n#levi ackerman x reader#levi angst#levi headcanons#levi#levi x reader#levi aot#snk levi#levi attack on titan#levi ackerman#captain levi#levi x you#levi x fem!reader#levi ackerman x female reader#levi ackerman x you
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African poverty is partly a consequence of energy poverty. In every other continent the vast majority of people have access to electricity. In Africa 600m people, 43% of the total, cannot readily light their homes or charge their phones. And those who nominally have grid electricity find it as reliable as a Scottish summer. More than three-quarters of African firms experience outages; two-fifths say electricity is the main constraint on their business.
If other sub-Saharan African countries had enjoyed power as reliable as South Africa’s from 1995 to 2007, then the continent’s rate of real GDP growth per person would have been two percentage points higher, more than doubling the actual rate, according to one academic paper. Since then South Africa has also had erratic electricity. So-called “load-shedding” is probably the main reason why the economy has shrunk in four of the past eight quarters.
Solar power is increasingly seen as the solution. Last year Africa installed a record amount of photovoltaic (PV) capacity (though this still made up just 1% of the total added worldwide), notes the African Solar Industry Association (AFSIA), a trade group. Globally most solar PV is built by utilities, but in Africa 65% of new capacity over the past two years has come from large firms contracting directly with developers. These deals are part of a decentralised revolution that could be of huge benefit to African economies.
Ground zero for the revolution is South Africa. Last year saw a record number of blackouts imposed by Eskom, the state-run utility, whose dysfunctional coal-fired power stations regularly break down or operate at far below capacity. Fortunately, as load-shedding was peaking, the costs of solar systems were plummeting.
Between 2019 and 2023 the cost of panels fell by 15%, having already declined by almost 90% in the 2010s. Meanwhile battery storage systems now cost about half as much as five years ago. Industrial users pay 20-40% less per unit when buying electricity from private project developers than on the cheapest Eskom tariff.
In the past two calendar years the amount of solar capacity in South Africa rose from 2.8GW to 7.8GW, notes AFSIA, excluding that installed on the roofs of suburban homes. All together South Africa’s solar capacity could now be almost a fifth of that of Eskom’s coal-fired power stations (albeit those still have a higher “capacity factor”, or ability to produce electricity around the clock). The growth of solar is a key reason why there has been less load-shedding in 2024...
Over the past decade the number of startups providing “distributed renewable energy” (DRE) has grown at a clip. Industry estimates suggest that more than 400m Africans get electricity from solar home systems and that more than ten times as many “mini-grids”, most of which use solar, were built in 2016-20 than in the preceding five years. In Kenya DRE firms employ more than six times as many people as the largest utility. In Nigeria they have created almost as many jobs as the oil and gas industry.
“The future is an extremely distributed system to an extent that people haven’t fully grasped,” argues Matthew Tilleard of CrossBoundary Group, a firm whose customers range from large businesses to hitherto unconnected consumers. “It’s going to happen here in Africa first and most consequentially.”
Ignite, which operates in nine African countries, has products that include a basic panel that powers three light bulbs and a phone charger, as well as solar-powered irrigation pumps, stoves and internet routers, and industrial systems. Customers use mobile money to “unlock” a pay-as-you-go meter.
Yariv Cohen, Ignite’s CEO, reckons that the typical $3 per month spent by consumers is less than what they previously paid for kerosene and at phone-charging kiosks. He describes how farmers are more productive because they do not have to get home before dark and children are getting better test scores because they study under bulbs. One family in Rwanda used to keep their two cows in their house because they feared rustlers might come in the dark; now the cattle snooze al fresco under an outside lamp and the family gets more sleep.
...That is one eye-catching aspect of Africa’s solar revolution. But most of the continent is undergoing a more subtle—and significant—experiment in decentralised, commercially driven solar power. It is a trend that could both transform African economies and offer lessons to the rest of the world."
-via The Economist, June 18, 2024. Paragraph breaks added.
#one of the biggest stories of this century is going to be the story of the African Renaissance#I promise you#well preferably they'll come up with a non-European term for it lol#but trust me it WILL happen and it will be SO good to see#africa#south africa#nigeria#kenya#solar#solar power#solar panels#solar pv#energy#clean energy#poverty#electrification#distributed energy#electricity#infrastructure#hope#solarpunk#good news#solar age#<- making that a tag now
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˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳ 𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐨𝐛𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐞𝐫
— ₊⊹ 𝒑𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈 . Natasha Romanoff x reader
— ₊⊹ 𝒔𝒖𝒎𝒎𝒂𝒓𝒚 . in which she finally feels heard, seen.
— ₊⊹ 𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔 . angst, emotional breakdown (panic attack), swearing, mentions of scars (sh), mentions of suicidal ideologies. Nat being honest and open about her feelings for once. hurt/comfort.
— ₊⊹ 𝒏𝒐𝒕𝒆𝒔 . english is not my first language (🇧🇷) so i apologize for any spelling errors. rainy days, match sad stories. venting.
divider credits: @saradika-graphics ༉‧₊˚.
the heaviness of the afternoon air settled over Natasha — weighting down what was already heavy. her mind, her body.. everything felt like a weight, a weight she carried since she was born, or even before her soul was incarnated in her body. she felt— no, she knew that she was born in bad news, cursed, and there was no way of getting out of this. it's funny, those were the exact same thoughts she had ever since she was a child— 10, 11, maybe? and in that age, crossed her mind that probably when she grew up, those ideas would vanish and she would be free to have a normal life.
but that certainly didn't happen. and now, she found herself trapped. trapped in web that the more she struggled, more stuck she got, and that was a routine that repeated over and over and over — optimistic, optimistic delusional thoughts that came to battle with the bad ones, telling her that things would someday be okay, and the real, coherent ones, that crushed all the hope, the little sparkle of hope she had within her, making her mind a complete and total mess. chaos behind chaos. sleepless nights, restless days.
god, how good would it be if at least, her body wasn't enchanted. how perfect would it be, to throw herself down a building and don't feel anymore, instead of having just a few scratches here and there. the blade helped, even with the acknowledge that a normal person would feel 10 times more than she did. because the pain was still little, when comparing to everything this woman already endured. the red lines on her arms and thighs were just a reminder of the red on her ledge, and that it was now impossible to wipe away.
in moments like those ones, her brain desperately searched for any solution, any thought to refute her current state — it was the human instinct to survive. (yeah, she's human). her eyes squeeze tight, feet stumbling forward and hands gripping tightly the trailer's window rail, knuckles turning white.
inhale, exhale. inhale— no, let's stick to panting.
her mind would drift back to the little girls who she shared her life with in the red room, remembering each of their personalities, what each one of them would do in a situation like this. ironically, for Natasha, they deserved to be listened and helped. but herself? nah. but in the deep end, she didn't know if they were still breathing, still in this world. what was the point..?
"come on..." she mutters, hissing loudly as her legs start trembling, knees ready to give up. "stop, stop, stop, stop..."
her heart never felt so filled with anguish and pain like right now — yes it did, but it was always like that: whenever that happened, the past experiences felt like they never existed — and the now felt like too much to handle. her ears buzzed, the sounds of the wind blowing across the tree leaves around her went down to volume zero — the hair on her legs and arms went up in a deep shiver, and eyes went wide — realization.
the same fucking realization as always. nobody listens, nobody cares. no one will ever know her true story. no one will ever fix her. she won't be remembered. her life's a waste— why was she even born, when everything that happened was disgrace after disgrace. that's when the thread snaps, and her body reacts before her mind can follow.
her throat closes, as if suffocating — body falling backwards, hitting the floor with full force. her fingers run through her hair and tug on the strands, pulling them strongly, even breaking a few of the auburn locks. tears of desperation threatens to fall down her cheeks, but she doesn't really realize that yet. she's just so out of air, that's impossible to control any other action.
"why won't that fucking—" Natasha manages between gasps. she groans, grabbing on the skin of her thighs and squeezing them harshly, creating moon-shaped little marks, enough to draw blood. "won't it— stop!"
then, she sobs. wait, but.. why did it felt like.. relief? perhaps because now, she was in your arms.
a foreign, strange sensation of warmth, warmth of another human being, enveloped her. she didn't recognize who it was, nor did she care. with pure instinct, her arms wrapped around the person's midsection, clinging for dear life. and now, with the sense of security, she was able to cry freely. she cried silently, something you didn't like. her chest heaved with emotion, but you wished she was louder. she was taught that widows didn't feel pain, wether it was physical or emotional. that's why her small cries sounded as painful and miserable as loud ones. you, sitting on the floor with her, scooped her weeping frame into your arms and held her — her side against your chest, head tucked in the crook of your neck.
sadly, it wasn't the first time, and you knew it wouldn't be the last. you were always in the trailer with her when she had breakdowns like this one. and that was what broke you the most — her brain subconsciously would tell her she was alone, and she didn't know how to deal with intense feelings like those: thus, she didn't know how to ask for help, how to come to you so you both could prevent those mental draining episodes.
when you first met Natasha, the first thing she asked you was to forget that she was a deadly spy, an avenger, or whatever the hell else people knew her as. at least for a day, so you could see where things would go. this fact only, meant that since the beginning, she had a feeling about you.. one she couldn't quite put a finger on, but which made her want to be herself, with no masks or titles around you.
it was common sense everything she went through. but only you knew about her true point of view. when her own self felt like an outside observer regarding to her own life, you were always there to remind her of who she was.
"you're safe... you're safe, i am safe.. we're both safe.." you whisper, running your hand up and down her shivery arm, putting the cold away. "okay, Nat? you are safe. i am right here, ready to fight whatever evil that befalls you.''
"i don't know.. i-i just.. i'm exhausted... i'm s-so tired.." she manages between small cries, eyes pleadingly looking up into yours. her hand reaches out and intertwine her fingers with your own, grasping on every sense she had of your presence — because she knew it could fade again, that she could fall in the loop again. and it was torturous. "i never.. no one ever listened to me... i never.. told anyone.. about.. a-about..."
"i know." you nod, arms tightening around her. you crawl a little backwards, just so you could reach the blanket that laid upon the couch and grab it. you wrap it around her with one hand, not letting go of her own. she subconsciously brings the fluffy fabric closer to herself and snuggles up against your body. "but you can tell me. isn't it clear, malyshka? that you're stuck with me?"
malyshka. the endearment term in russian she had taught you. she loved it, so goddamn much. a little weak smile tugs on her lips, the kindness you were showing her easing the tension — as if you were offering to carry the weight with her. compassion, empathy. so foreign.
"i just.." she shakes her head, sniffling and taking a deep, shaky breath. she stays silent for a few minutes, and you wait. voice so quiet, small.. and scared. "before you.. no one ever.. held me. i never had anyone holding me. i never had a touch that didn't mean harm. never had anyone to listen."
"i know, Nat. and that pains me more than you think." you confirm, running your fingers through her hair, and nuzzling the side of your face against her cheek, resting on your shoulder. "but trust me, i will listen for hours, days, years and centuries. if you wanna share every single second of your life with me, i'm here to listen."
"that doesn't make any freaking sense to me." she chuckles humorlessly, a soft groan escaping her throat. she was feeling a little tired. "but.. the truth is.. few people understand what i went through. the little people who lived in the same circumstances as me are probably all dead.. and... i truly don't want you to understand. i don't want you to try and live the same horrors as i did. all i wish for..."
you take a moment to stare at her when she pauses. hurt arms, tear filled face. oh, what you wouldn't do to protect this heart. to keep it safe. never let anything harm it again.
"all i wish for, is for you to be here. to hold me like you're doing, to share your own experiences with me, to live with me. to whisper sweet nothings in my ear by the night. handle my body gently. just be here. be here and i know i'll be forever safe."
that was it. everything you ever wished for. you exhale deeply and shift her carefully, so she was on your lap. she looks down at you, and at your hand.. that slowly comes up to land on her cheek. she leans against it and breathes heavily. you smile, waiting for her next expected words.
"can i..." she clears her throat, hands shyly gripping your shoulders, eyes looking at you from below her eyelashes. "can i cry more?"
"of course." you cradle her again and settle her thighs around your hips. her arms wrap around your neck, and she gently leans her head on your shoulder... allowing herself to cry.. out of relief.
your right hand tenderly caresses her leg, tracing over the self indulged scars she had. the left one, makes slow, soothing circles on her spine, moving up, and down her back. she was letting all her emotions out, all the pain inside her heavy heart, was flowing out of her being. thanks to your patience, your gentleness, and your love.
turns out, love wasn't only for children. goodness gracious, how good it was to be loved...
"god," she sobs, squeezing you tighter, nose brushing against your hair as she allows herself to.. let go. "god, i need you."
"i'm here." you confirm quietly, looking up and kissing her temple. "i'm here, i'm not going anywhere."
#natasha marvel#natasha romanoff imagine#natasha romanoff x reader#natasha romanoff x you#natasha x reader#natasha romanoff fluff#natasha romanov#natasha romanoff hurt/comfort#natasha romanoff comfort#natasha romanoff#mcu#marvel#mcu x reader#mcu x you
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wanderer | heartbreaker series | c.sc
You were far from the girl that Seungcheol use to love. Because, time has a funny way of changing things and it sure as hell changed you.
✧ pairing: choi seungcheol x afab!reader ✧ genre: smut (18+) ✧ aus: boss seungcheol, exes to lovers ✧ word count: 18.5k
↣ part i | other fics | taglist | ko-fi
₊🎧: blame – i.m ♡ | bad – so!yoon
₊ nsfw tags under the cut
✧ warnings: hurt/comfort harassment: gross interactions with men, kinda ? slow burn—it takes them a while to get down to business, foul language, smut with plot, daddy kink, dom seungcheol, reader is really subby, big dick seungcheol, pussy drunk seungcheol, oral sex (f, m), multiple orgasms, unprotected p in v sex, manhandling, rough doggy style, creampies, dirty talk, pet names: love, angel, baby, newb, newbie (hers) daddy (his) ✧ please if you see mistakes, cont. errors no u didn't i'm very sleep deprived

✧ disclaimer: minors dni this post is intended for 18+ readers. please have your age stated in your description and try not to look like a bot please 🙂.

part ii
A streak of bad luck has been following you around lately, so it seems.
The past few days you have been stuck with a decision, one apparently easy to make, but something held you back. And the dilemma had settled a feeling of deep regret in the pit of your stomach, from the moment you wake up, to the moment you laid your head in your pillows.
You were used to late nights. In fact, for the past two years you've been staying up late, dealing with the stressful pace of academic life and it slowly made you lose the need for sleep at night.
It was only 2 AM. And you were tired enough to force yourself to sleep, but the dilemma had you feeling alarmed and anxious to the point that it shook your body, impulsing you to take action, to do something, anything.
You sighed, trying to relieve the tumultuous pressure crushing you from the inside.
In a sudden movement, you swung your legs over the edge of your bed, sitting up and saw your feet hanging.
You remembered the times you wished you could just pick up the phone and call your ex boyfriend and tell him how much you missed him, and how deeply remorseful you were of breaking up with him.
It haunted you for weeks, which turned into months and now you were faced with the possibility of going back together, after two years of zero contact.
But, even if it seemed impossible, going back to Choi Seungcheol was not the most urgent of your decisions to make.
Bad luck, it seems.
First, you had to get a job quick in a local bar due to your bills piling up and your stipend not being sufficient to live on. Then, you had the surprise to find that your ex is the owner of said bar. Not only that, things had ended up bad with him. So the only solution was to have sex with him on his office, obviously.
And now, your roommate is giving you the very late notice that you have been mandated to vacate the apartment you've been renting for a year. Apparently you got the notice a month ago, but your roommate just forgot to tell you until it was evidently too late.
You packed your things, which luckily for you, were not many. So you only occupied a few boxes for your clothes and stuff that fit perfectly on the trunk of your car and the backseat.
Now, you just needed a new place.
And it was in the following morning that you decided to leave your apartment. You knew that this situation could be solved through some legal counsel, but for months, you and your roommate have been at odds and you suspected that was why they 'forgot' to tell you about it all.
It was tuesday and also the day that you had to vacate your place. Returning to the bar after a day off was not as fulfilling in the sense that you had little to no rest. Packing things, disposing of some others.
And now, you needed to sleep.
But the memory of fucking your ex occupied your head, it needed your attention. His hands all over your body, his soft moans in your ear, the very familiar touch of his lips. The memory itself felt like a fever dream.
A dream which you dragged onto your subconscious long enough to also haunt you in your sleep, when it finally came. You dreamed of him, you saw flashes of the night you met him and experienced again all the awful things you made him go through.
The sensible thing was to let your boss know that you had run into trouble and needed to find a place soon. But being so that would mean talking to Seungcheol, you decided not to tell anyone just yet. You could manage, you could get crafty.
Sleeping in your battered Hyundai was a whole new adventure for you. And you were pretty much all for it. You made it feel cozy for you: throwing a bunch of pillows and blankets on the co-pilot seat, leaned back and you even found a way to change into your pyjamas inside the car.
But that would come after your shift.
Tuesdays, according to Wonwoo, were really slow. To the point that he was leaning on the countertop, each elbow propped to hold a book in his hands.
"Where's Mingyu?" you asked when the bar opened for business and were one bartender short.
"He's not coming today," Wonwoo, his roommate replied shortly.
"Is he okay?"
"He'll be alright," he cooed and lowered his book, pushing the rim of his glasses up the bridge of his nose. "His girl broke up with him yesterday morning."
"Huh? Why?" you gasped. "I thought–"
"Yeah, me too," Wonwoo said and scrunched up his nose in discomfort. "It caught him by surprise too, destroyed him. Boss told him he could take the day off."
You faltered for a second. "God, he must be feeling terrible," you said and thought of the happy-go-lucky guy, heartbroken.
"Mmm-mph," Wonwoo hummed and clasped his hands together on the countertop. "Well, there's not much to do for today, I think. Boss will come by later tonight so maybe we could do the little boring tasks."
And by that, Wonwoo meant doing the things you did not have the opportunity to get done during the weekend shifts, tasks ranged from the usual to deep cleaning.
"You have a thing for cleanliness," you pointed after an hour of deep cleaning all the utensils for the bar, the blenders, the mixers. He even emptied the ice machine and gave it a thorough sweep.
"It clears my mind off things," he mentioned quietly beside you.
"Mm, I see what you mean," you nodded. It had been an hour of pure silence between you, except for the low humming of the speakers that played something of your request and you noticed that Wonwoo was silently vibing to it.
Wonwoo could be a friend, you thought.
"What does your mind need clearing of?" you pried while you cleaned all of the napkin holders thoroughly.
"A few things that have been occupying it for a few days," he replied with a soft tone to his voice.
"I assume as much," you quipped with a grin, which he did not see. Wonwoo's back was turned to you as he seemed to be finishing the tedious task.
"That's bartender talk," Wonwoo said, turning around as he dried his hands from the little bits of ice with a cloth rag.
"Or friend talk?" you suggested with a shy smile.
One thing you were certain of these past few days of drowning in your own thoughts in silence was that you needed friends. It was a truth you've been ignoring for your own sake.
After the breakup, your closest friends seemed to fade quietly into the background, evidently siding with Seungcheol. Since most of your friends were his friends too, it was obvious whose side they had taken, but you did not resent them for their choices.
"It's nothing, newbie," Wonwoo sighed and nodded to the task you were in the process of. "Almost done with that?"
"Yeah, why?" you said, trying not to convey that Wonwoo just refused your invitation of being friends.
"Boss is coming," he said, and he sent an inquisitive glance your way and nodded to the front door of the bar.
You jolted and turned with a gasp to face the door before you could even take control of your body.
Only to find that the door stood still, and no one was approaching it.
"What?"
Wonwoo coughed and you turned to see him, a weak attempt to hide a chuckle. "I see," he said in a nonchalant manner.
"What? What do you see?" your eyes narrowed.
He mumbled with a very tiny voice an unconvincing 'nothing', pretending to busy himself with another task.
"Tell me," you insisted, glaring at him.
Wonwoo looked over the thick paste of his glasses and grinned at your seething expression. "Fine, okay," he said and stood up right facing you. "Do you... have a crush on him?"
"A crush?" your voice raised an octave higher. "A crush?!"
Wonwoo pursed his lips and cocked his head to the side. "Yeah, like a minor infatuation–"
"I know what a crush is, Wonwoo," you stopped him with a laugh.
"Ah, yeah. Well, do you?" he pushed his eyebrows.
"Why would I have a crush on him? I met him last week," you muttered unconvincingly and looked away from his curious eyes.
"And? I'm only asking because you act weird around him, even when he's not being a pissy asshole," he put in and you raised your gaze to find him scratching his chin.
"I don't think he's a pissy asshole," you interjected, and then shook your head. "I mean, he can be sometimes, but he has given me no reason to think that."
Wonwoo chuckled. "Right. Wait 'til something really pisses him off," he muttered. "But that's not what I wanted to say! You're really calm and collected and the minute he steps in, you're weird and shifty."
You looked at him in disbelief.
Wonwoo and Mingyu have been every step of the way with you since you started working at Seungcheol's bar. And you saw a potential of starting a friendship with both of them. It felt good to finally have a talk with someone in such a way.
"You are quite the detective," you pointed with a huff. "I just feel unnerved by him, Wonwoo. What can I say, you really helped pushing the asshole narrative around him."
"Around who?"
A gasp left your mouth again, but now it sent real shivers down your spine. You turned around to find Seungcheol standing behind you, quirking up an eyebrow at you.
"No one," you stuttered.
He wore what he usually did to work, just a plain white t-shirt, black jeans and boots. A pair of sunglasses pushed his pale blond hair back, it was still humid from what you assumed was a recently taken shower.
"Why are you chatting during work?" he asked with a low tone and looked at Wonwoo.
"I–we, we were working!" you blurted and dropped your gaze to your feet. "And talking... for a bit."
"What about?"
"A-bout something," you muttered nervously.
"Boss, she's terrified," Wonwoo chuckled and you lifted your gaze to see Seungcheol grinning from ear to ear.
And then he winked at you.
Your stomach dropped and you turned to see that Wonwoo was not watching your interaction with your ex turned boss.
"It's a slow day today," Seungcheol said with a commanding aura. "But don't relax too much, we're one staff short out here and I have a meeting later today so I can't be around much. It'll be just you two."
"Got it boss," Wonwoo nodded.
You nodded too, unable to speak a word under the nervousness tying a knot in your throat.
Wonwoo left the countertop and entered the kitchen, promptly leaving you and Seungcheol alone.
"How are you?" Seungcheol asked, his gaze had softened and started reading your face.
"I'm fine, Cheol," you put in unconvincingly. "Just a bit tired."
"We're just starting the week," he pointed, his eyebrow lifting slightly.
"I don't get rest," you said and added: "PhD stuff," you shrugged.
A restless feeling made your insides twist. Seungcheol knew you better than anyone on the planet. He knew your every mannerism when you lied and the shrug was a dead giveaway.
And he was also one of the smartest men you've ever met in your life.
"You better get around managing your time with that," he advised. "Don't want you to be overworked one week into this job."
You noticed his tone was not condescending, he looked a bit worried, even. His big brown eyes went over your worn expression, the dark circles under your eyes, chapped lips. And probably it did not help that you decided to forgo makeup that day.
"Okay... boss," you muttered softly.
But he was turning away from you already, effectively finishing your conversation when he pushed the 'STAFF ONLY' door and disappeared.
Deeply obfuscated, you meekly rubbed your hands in your jeans to wipe the sweat from them and returned to your seemingly pointless task, wanting nothing more but your shift to be over.
Seungcheol had been distant, keeping interactions with you at minimum. You understood he was giving you space, but you could not help but thing that he was probably taking your silence for a rejection to his proposal of going back together.
That night you had sex with him in his 'office', Seungcheol told you to think about his proposal, and give him an answer whenever and if you're ready.
"You don't have to give me an answer right now," he had whispered, leaning down to plant a kiss on your cheek. "But please think about it, will you?"
You saw his brows knit together and you could've swore something stabbed you in the heart. "I will. I'll think about it," you assured him.
From that moment on, there was not a single day when you did not think about him. He plagued your mind, every day and every hour. The feeling of Seungcheol being in your waking thought resembled the time you were freshly broken up, and there was not a day that went by that you didn't think of him.
But of course, this time it was different.
After your shift, you pretended to drive away in your car, only to get back after driving a good fifteen minutes around the block and parking on the small parking lot of the bar.
Sleeping in your old Hyundai was a whole new adventure for you. And you were pretty much all for it. You made it feel cozy for you: throwing a bunch of pillows and blankets on the co-pilot seat, leaned back and you even found a way to change into your pyjamas inside the car.
You rested your head and propped up your feet on the deck while you tried to sleep. First night sleeping in your car was not bad, even as a voice in the back of your mind told you this was supposed to be hitting rock bottom.
But in reality, it wasn't. It was temporary, you told yourself. Shit happens. And you got yourself in this mess, so you would get yourself out.
Now, another one of the worries in your head was something that you feared so much you tried not to pay attention to: Seungcheol.
Being the one that broke up with him, you certainly had a lot of guilt to carry. And you still needed to have that conversation with Seungcheol, even if he was apparently avoiding it.
Said guilt manifested itself as a painful jolt in your heart every single time you thought about him. You knew you still loved him, probably never stopped. But you also broke his heart.
If you were even thinking of going back to him, you needed to have that conversation. And you weren't sure if you were equipped to face what he had to say.
Last time you checked the clock before finally falling asleep it read 5 AM. Which would mean that you had about three hours to sleep if you wanted to get important stuff done the following day.
On the following morning, you woke up at 11 AM. You quickly changed into normal clothes inside your car. It was so cold outside that your windows were thankfully condensed. You couldn't see out and probably and hopefully no one saw you change clothes.
You drove to your university campus. One of the perks of the campus was the gym, which had showers and hot water, everything you needed to freshen up. You tended to your needs and quickly moved to the library to do some apartment scouting.
Being in a PhD meant that you had to do a lot of research, mostly. Your tasks were reading, writing and presenting weekly results. But due to the time crunch you were in, you had to make do and search for a new place to live and send out some emails pertaining to your research.
So you had about six hours to maybe find a place to move in as soon as possible. It was a difficult feat, though, to find something affordable, in a close proximity to where you used to live and leasing immediately.
Hours flew by, your stomach jolting from anxiousness and hunger when you had to leave the library and drive to the bar.
You bit the inside of your lower lip. The mere idea of seeing Seungcheol had you sighing and muffling a small yelp of pure anxiety and your forehead hit the steering wheel, and you did it again, and again.
Three taps on your window made you jump in your seat and look up to find Wonwoo standing outside of your car, looking to the interior with a concerned face.
"Are you okay, newbie?" he asked, standing back as you opened the door of your car and stepped out.
"I'm fine, just hungry," you partially lied. You were hungry, but that was not the reason why you were banging your head against the wheel.
"You know that you have a meal, right? Boss didn't tell you?" he said slowly, pointing to the bar with his thumb.
"Nope," you shook your head once.
His eyes focused on the backseat of your car, which was stuffed with boxes, then he spotted your blankets and pillows huddled in the passenger's seat.
"Are you–," his eyes snapped back to yours. "Are you living in your car?"
You closed your eyes in defeat, sighing. "Yes," you replied flatly.
"Why?" he looked alarmed, but then he quickly added: "Are you okay? Do you want a place to crash?"
"I'm fine, Wonwoo," you tried to reassure him, but the tone in your voice betrayed you. "I... like it."
He blinked in bewilderment. "You're telling me that this is your choice?"
Wonwoo was so tall that you had to angle your face up to see him, your eyes squinted because of the daylight hitting your eyes.
"Yeah, it is," you weren't lying, but telling the whole story didn't seem like something you were equipped to do at the moment.
"I'd ask if you have someone you can stay with but if you did you'd be doing that already," he put in simply and then crunched his nose instantly. "Crap, sorry. Please ignore I said that."
You laughed awkwardly. "What was that?"
"I tend to have Freudian slips when I'm really really tired," he brought a hand to the nape of his neck to rub embarrassedly.
"What–Freudian slips," you huffed. "Well don't let me be around you every time you don't get enough sleep," you laughed.
"Just smack me in the head if I say something like that again," he looked embarrassed and it was a cute sight from the ever reserved Wonwoo.
"Noted," your eyebrows quirked up. "But I'm fine, you don't have to worry."
"You're not convincing me," he stated. "You can crash in our place, I promise Mingyu won't have an issue with it," he offered kindly.
Your heart swelled a little to the idea of someone worrying about you. Even if that someone you didn't completely know yet.
"And we're also not like, creepy or whatever. We'll give you space," he added, seeing your hesitation over it.
"I'll think about it over food, alright?" you gave him a weak smile. "Thank you, though. I really appreciate it."
That made him smile sweetly at you and nodded towards the bar with his head. "Alright, let's go inside."
"Hey, can I ask you a favour?" you walked by his side through the small parking lot behind the bar.
"Sure, anything," he nodded again with his head.
"Can you... not mention this to anyone? Specially Se-seungcheol?" you stuttered a bit.
He paused and looked at you. "You got it," he replied with a hint of intrigue in his eyes.
"Thanks," you muttered before going through the back door of the bar.
The dark hallway smelled faintly of floor detergent like it did before your shift. All of the doors were closed, so you didn't know yet where Seungcheol was yet as you walked through the door that led to the interior of the bar.
"No problem," he muttered softly and opened the door that led to the bar. "The reason why I approached you was because I have something I forgot to tell you last night."
You smiled. "You're being weird," you pointed. "Tell me."
He scoffed and rolled his eyes, to then toss his backpack in the last booth at the back of the bar. "I'm tired, leave me alone," he muttered shyly. "I'm recruiting an extra pair of hands to help you during the weekends. I'm actually interviewing someone in a few minutes."
"Oh?" your eyebrows arched up. "That's nice! Do you want any pointers for your jerk persona now?"
He laughed shyly, his nose wrinkling a bit. "It's okay, Newbie. I'm not doing that this time."
"Why?" you frowned.
"Cheol is going to listen to the interview. And I don't want to see what his reaction would be," he muttered, looking around the bar for any signs of his boss. Your boss.
"Yeah, I wouldn't either," you mumbled with a smile.
"Go get your meal and I'll cover you if necessary, got it?" he nodded to the kitchen.
Wonwoo could be a friend, you thought. You had friends, yes. Some people you met in university that are in your life.
After the breakup, your closest friends seemed to fade quietly into the background, siding with Seungcheol. Since most of your friends were his friends too, it was obvious whose side they had taken, but you didn't resent them for their choice.
The menu for today was chicken hamburgers.
Mingyu sat with you in the kitchen, keeping each other company as you both ate in silence. Mingyu ate his food at a slow pace and heavy reluctance. You noticed he was hungry enough to keep eating, but had little to no energy to do so.
It broke your heart to see him like this, his puppy eyes dimmed, the heaviness of his movements, barely talking. You gently patted his shoulder once and he almost jolted awake from his thoughts.
Mingyu patted the back of your hand and nodded in understanding.
You briefly thought of Seungcheol and that made your heart lurch even harder. Who stood by him when you left?
When you came out of the kitchen, some ten minutes later you started with your tasks, which mainly consisted in arranging cutlery, napkins, etc.
You could hear over the music Wonwoo's low voice speak with another person. So you assumed that he perhaps was in his interview, and you knew Seungcheol would be close, so you stuck to the other side of the bar, pretending to be busy.
The day before, during your shift, you took the same tactic: pretending to be busy to avoid even looking in the direction of your ex.
So you were restocking bottles of ketchup in the bartop where Mingyu was also busy himself, and didn't looked as glum when he had something to do.
His eyes lifted up and toward the bar's entrance.
"Oh, hi there Jeonghan-hyung," he called with a lazy smile. "Are you here to see Cheol?"
The exchange was quick, so the moment you looked up from Mingyu to the person he was talking to, you saw your former best friend walk into the bar, but stopping dead in his tracks when he saw your face.
"Jeonghan?" you blurted, your voice quivered with emotion, picking up a higher pitched tone.
His eyes widened and he approached cautiously as if he had seen a ghost. You identified with the feeling; your heart was pounding a mile a minute as you struggled to maintain your composure.
Despite your best efforts, tears welled up in your eyes, overwhelmed by the emotion of seeing your best friend after years of no contact.
"Oh, you two guys know each other?" Mingyu's voice sounded faint in the buzz in your ears.
His brow furrowed. "Uh, yeah, she's-"
You made a motion to shook your head ever so slightly, as if saying stop right now, abort mission, and he, knowing you like the palm of his hand understood in a second.
"She's an old friend," he pressed his lips in an empty smile. He closed the distance between you and him.
You flinched a little when he pulled you into a hesitant hug, seemingly playing his part in the old friends thing; a situation you hadn't entirely processed yet. At least he understood your silent message and stopped himself from mentioning you were Seungcheol's ex.
"You got some explaining to do," he muttered in your ear so quickly that you had to take a second to process what he'd said.
"I know," you whispered and pulled away.
Jeonghan was the first friend Seungcheol introduced you to when you started dating, almost six years ago. The two of you hit it off instantly and formed a strong bond that ended rather tragically when you left.
So it could probably come as a shock to find the person who broke his best friend's heart after two years of zero contact.
And you didn't blame him.
"Uh, yeah. We're old friends," you muttered shakily, turning away from the still pale looking Jeonghan.
"Are you working here?" he asked in a low tone, and looked around.
You followed his gaze, understanding that he was looking for Seungcheol.
"Yeah," you replied with a shaky breath. "I've only been here for two weeks."
"What?" he whispered bewilderedly. "Where is he?"
"If you're looking for Cheol, he's interviewing someone right now," Mingyu interjected, still paying close attention to the conversation between you and your former friend.
Your eyes could not stop looking at him. Unchanging, never aging Jeonghan. Once your best friend, your brother and confidant. The ache in your heart was so sharp that it made your breathing quicken, swelling in your chest.
Jeonghan nodded. "Mingoo, can you tell him that I'm here, please?"
"Of course," the taller man turned to carry out the favour.
It was evident to you that Jeonghan wanted to get a minute alone with you. If Mingyu noticed it too, he didn't look the part.
"What the fuck?" Jeonghan whispered, dragging you to a corner and far from the ears of anyone else. "I thought you were in the other side of the planet. The fuck are you doing here? In Cheol's bar?"
"I came ba-back a year ago," you muttered, the internal turmoil had your in the brink of shaking.
"And?" his hand was still on your shoulder from where he dragged you out of earshot, he was leaning slightly toward you, still looking deeply confused and alarmed.
"I'm cut off from my family–,"
"Again? Fuck," he run his hand through his short black hair irately.
"This time is definite," you repeated the same thing you did to your ex. "And I needed a job so I got here but I swear I had no idea this was Seungcheol's. I promise I didn't know and Wonwoo hired me and–"
"Stop, stop," he whispered hurriedly, looking over at the bartop.
Wonwoo was returning from the interview, looking over at you and Jeonghan with his analytic eyes, the expression on his face didn't give away anything else.
"Han," Mingyu called from behind the bartop. "Boss says to meet him in his office."
Jeonghan nodded and turned to look at you. "They don't know, right?" he muttered through tight lips.
"Seungcheol doesn't want them to know."
"Fucking hell," he said under a breath. "I'll be back in a bit, okay?"
You nodded, feeling like you could cry. Which Jeonghan noticed, and quickly snuck a hand on the back of your head to pull you in a warm embrace, your face landed on his shoulder and you stifled back a sob.
"Come on, don't cry. Everything's fine," he muttered softly. "Bar's almost about to open and you don't want to be all puffy and red for that now, do ya?"
"Shuddup, Han," you giggled.
"I'm just saying. Now, I have to get going. But I'll call you okay?"
The hand on the back of your head ruffled your hair before pulling away, and you watched him walk away and disappear through the door that led to your ex's office.
You stood there contemplating the nothingness for a second before you felt someone's eyes looking fixedly at you. Wonwoo was working, but keeping an inquisitive eye on you.
Taking a deep breath, you decided to ignore his scrutiny by continuing to get the bar ready for open hours.
When the bar finally opened, you were eager to immerse yourself carrying orders out and basically doing anything that could distance yourself mentally from your ex.
After an hour, Jeonghan came back to the bar, looking the way he did when he needed to speak his mind. But he just pulled you aside after making sure you were free enough to do so.
"I'm still confused about all this shit," he muttered briefly. "Look, I only came here to drop something off and I need to go, but I want to catch up with you," then he hugged you again.
You returned the hug, closing your eyes to savour the moment as best as you could.
"I'll see you soon," he reassured you and pulled away once again, leaving the bar at once.
In a few words, your day was a bit shitty so far. It was the first time in two years you saw Jeonghan, who in all fairness, had all the right to not even acknowledge you after leaving his best friend heartbroken.
But to your surprise, he was open to have a conversation with you.
Something you were looking forward to.
The bar was starting to really pack up by 9 PM. And you understood what Wonwoo said about having a helping hand soon, because you could barely manage. Being a wednesday night, the bar was reasonably packed and you were growing more and more tired.
So you had to deal with a number of problems: despite being quick and efficient, you were only one person to cover most of the tables. Most of your orders got delivered on time, but you couldn't always be as fast enough and a couple of customers were starting to get annoyed.
Feeling stressed, you let out a heavy breath while you looked at the machine, preparing the bill for a table.
"Do you want some help?" you heard Seungcheol ask.
You turned abruptly with a start, a hand flying to your chest. "You scared me," you explained but it was evident enough.
His eyebrow arched and his lips pressed in a line. "I have to stop doing that," he muttered with a nod.
"Yeah," you sighed, straightening your t-shirt. "I'll appreciate that—some help, I mean. Thanks," you tried giving him a smile.
But you just couldn't. You looked up at his dark eyes, adorned by his beautiful eyebrows that frowned at seeing your face.
"Something wrong?" he muttered, reading your face.
"Can we-," you started, but you got distracted by someone on the tables waving for your attention. "Sorry, I have to get this," you got the bill and grabbed the pin pad and left to continue working.
You walked over to the table that was occupied by two older men. The one that had waved you down had that look on his face that made your skin crawl and put your guard up.
"There you are, sweetcheeks," he said in a gruff voice, raw from alcohol. "What took you so goddamn long?"
In your experience, you've had many people call you things. It certainly doesn't matter in those times you notice the names mean no harm. But this time, it was different.
The hair on the back of your neck stood up, and something told you to finish the interaction and ask for backup immediately.
"Are you ready to order?" you put in flatly, trying to maintain your expression blank.
"Oof," the other one interjected. "Aren't you nice," he spat with an obvious tone of sarcasm.
You sighed heavily and clicked your pen and pretended to wait for them to order.
"Are we boring you?" one of them spat.
At that, you knew you had to finish the interaction.
"Well, let me know when you're ready to order," you retorted and turned away from the table.
But a rough, calloused hand caught your wrist before you could walk away properly.
"Don't go yet, kitten," one of the two gross men whinged, you didn't care to look who it was.
In a split second, you thought of responding verbally to back off. But every cell in your body just wanted to walk away from the situation. Dealing with gross men was not something you wanted to do in that moment, you just wanted to walk away.
With a clean move, you yanked your wrist away from their grasp, turning to give the deadliest stare you could muster to the guy that dared to touch you and walked away hurriedly.
Neither of Wonwoo or Mingyu appeared to have witnessed the crude exchange. But in your hurry, you stumbled against Seungcheol who was just walking past you.
"What's wrong?" he stopped you, looking at your face carefully.
You probably looked disturbed, and rightfully so—you felt deeply unnerved. It was not your first time dealing with gross men, it wasn't even your first interaction with someone rude in the bar, but it was the first time someone dared to touch you.
"Nothing—those guys are fucking rude," you muttered offhandedly, but you knew there was no deterring from Seungcheol's scrutiny.
"What did they say? What did they do?" he asked darkly.
"Cheol, I'm fine, just–," you looked up, his gaze had hardened completely. You faltered. "They grabbed me and called me gross names," you blurted and held your wrist, trying not to convulse in utter repulsion.
"Who?"
His eyes were devoid of all liveliness, jaw clenched, nostrils flaring. That was the real angry Seungcheol you knew.
You pointed meekly towards the table you just walked away from.
"Go to my office," he muttered before approaching the table.
The last thing you saw was Seungcheol make a sign with his hand at Wonwoo, who just nodded and left his post in a heartbeat before you walked to the door and into the hallway.
You made a stop at the bathroom to frantically wash your hands and attempt to calm yourself down. The attempt was futile, though, because you felt like you had been shaken to your core.
When you opened the door to Seungcheol's office, you half expected to find the dark room lively and packed with gamblers. But it was completely vacant, it made you feel uneasy. You desired to hear the bustle of the active gambling tables.
Instead, you sat at a chair near the entrance. Not wanting to go to Seungcheol's large desk in the corner of the room for obvious reasons.
The door was pushed open some ten minutes later, which to you felt like an eternity.
"Are you alright?" Seungcheol closed the door behind him, but he didn't approach.
You nodded with your head. "I'm fine," you muttered. "What happened?"
He made a dismissive gesture with his hand. "It's taken care of," he replied simply.
But you knew he was acting controlled—probably still containing his anger.
"I'm sorry," you mumbled, feeling ashamed. "I could've handled the situation–"
"You don't have to apologize," he cut in, lifting a hand to stop you.
He closed the distance between you and him and crouched in front of you, so now, you were looking down to find his dark gaze.
"Nobody lays a finger on you. You know that, right?" he said as he reached for your hand, giving it a squeeze.
The many times you've heard Seungcheol say that in the past. Oh god, the mental whiplash it gave you to see him like this again, to hear him say the same things he used to when you were together.
You bit your quivering lower lip and nodded. "I know," you replied.
"I can't prevent something like that from happening again. But never apologize for stuff like this. It's not your fault."
You sighed heavily because of the emotions swelling your chest. "Alright," you whispered.
His dark eyes studied your face again, noticing how shaken you still were because he stood up, not letting go of your hand to pull your body gently to his own.
"Come here," he muttered.
You stood up from the chair, being pulled to a warm embrace by Seungcheol. You buried your head in his hard chest and at that, you let yourself crumble under the swell of emotions that plagued your whole day.
"It's okay, baby. It's okay," he whispered, bringing a hand to caress your hair.
God, you could die in his arms. It surely felt like that. So many times had he lent a shoulder for you to air out your emotions, but this time felt like being born again. You stayed in his arms for quite some time until you felt like you were okay and slowly pulled away.
"Are you feeling better now?" he asked in a soft tone.
You nodded, avoiding his eyes. "'m fine. I have to go back," you muttered.
"You don't need to if you don't want to," he suggested.
"That's not fair for the guys," you pointed. "I'll go back. Thank you for... everything," you darted a look.
At seeing his serene eyes, your insides jolted uneasily. You urged to kiss him, to listen to his voice and laugh, it had been so long since you've heard his bursts of laughter you ached for it.
Seungcheol was looking at you attentively, his eyebrows nudged slightly. "You were going to tell me something before."
You sighed, nothing ever escapes him. "Can we talk?"
His gaze softened. "Of course," his lips pursed in a downturned smile.
"After work?" you suggested in a small voice.
"Whenever you want," he replied.
Your heart hurt from how eager he looked for a second.
You nodded and whispered, "Okay," before exiting his office and returning to the bar.
It was the last hours of your shift, so most tables were leaving before the closing hour. The table where the incident happened stood vacant until you closed the bar for the night.
"Guys," Seungcheol called once the place had emptied of customers and everyone was good to go home.
Wonwoo and Mingyu stopped what they were doing in the moment to look at their boss.
"We need to talk about what happened tonight," he sighed heavily and ran a hand through his pale blond hair—a dead giveaway that he was getting heated again.
"Yeah, what happened, boss?" Mingyu frowned. "One minute, Newb was managing the tables just fine and the next you were kicking out two dudes on your own."
Your cheeks flushed and your gaze dropped to the floor.
"Two idiots thought it was okay to lay hands on her," Seungcheol put in darkly, and sighed again. "I apologize for the way I acted but–"
"It's okay," Wonwoo intervened calmly. "We understand."
Your eyes narrowed and you found Wonwoo offering a quick knowing look to you.
"It was... kinda epic boss," Mingyu looked exhilarated at the memory. "I mean, no offence but the way you handled those guys?"
Mingyu made a brief reenactment by using Wonwoo's body as a prop; grabbing him by the nape of his neck and twisting his arm behind his back.
Wonwoo snorted and broke away with a small smile on his lips.
You muffled a groan in sheer embarrassment. "I'm sorry for any inconvenience I caused guys. The least I wanted to do is cause a sce–,"
"What?" Mingyu blurted. "Newb, don't apologize for that. The minute you feel someone is disrespecting you, tell us."
"And if anyone oversteps again, they will be kicked out. By any means necessary. Don't even get their bill. I don't care," Seungcheol instructed.
"Got it boss," Mingyu nodded.
"Also, a new hire is coming in tomorrow, to lift some weight off your shoulders," Wonwoo told you directly.
"Wait, so Newb will need a new nickname? I kind of got used to calling you that."
"How about you call her by her name?" Seungcheol retorted with a huff.
"What's your name again?" he asked you, and burst in a goofy giggle. "I'm kidding, 'm kidding."
You rolled your eyes, but seeing Mingyu laugh easily made you smile and laugh with him.
Seungcheol caught that, a small glint of contentment appeared in his eyes and you could see that the corners of his lips twitched before he pretended to cough and walk away and into his office.
"Freakin' weird," you heard someone whisper and raised your eyes to see Wonwoo shaking his head.
"What is?" you dared ask, seeing that Mingyu had busied himself in other stuff so it was just the two of you.
"Cheol is been acting weird all week," he shrugged and looked over his shoulder to make sure no one was listening, but you two were alone. "And I'd never seen him this upset."
Well, I have, you wanted to reply but that would be a lot to explain. Not towards you though, he never got irked at you. Arguments with him could get heated, but never in the way that would get anywhere near that intimidating.
"Is it the first time something like this happens?" you asked instead.
"Nothing like this," he shook his head calmly. "We've had a few cases of problematic people but... whatever. Have you decided yet if you want to crash at our place?"
The sudden change in conversation made you snap back to reality. You had almost forgotten that you were sleeping in your car.
"I uh..."
"Newb is staying at ours?" Mingyu came back carrying his backpack on one shoulder.
You both looked at the taller man who was fixedly looking at his phone screen, a small smile appearing on his face.
"No, guys. Thank you but I need to... sort out some things first," you replied hesitantly.
"Oh okay," Wonwoo shrugged. "Are you sure, though? Sleeping in your car doesn't sound pleasant."
"I'm fine," you maintained. "Thank you."
You were barely familiar with Wonwoo and Mingyu, they haven't given you any reason to not trust them but it just didn't feel right to accept their proposal.
Wonwoo nodded. "Let me know if you need anything," was the last thing he said before exiting the bar along with his roommate, essentially leaving you alone with Seungcheol.
He was in the backroom, as you supposed. You glanced first inside the dark room, only to find him sat in the long chair, elbows propped in his desk, his eyes immersed in his phone screen.
You landed a knock on his door, and his eyes snapped to find you by the doorway.
"You don't have to knock," Seungcheol showed you a gummy smile and nodded toward you, the movement making his blond bangs fall on his eyes.
"Sorry, didn't know if you were busy," you explained as you made your way to the desk, using all the strength you had in you to push the memory of him fucking you in this same desk just two nights ago.
His dark eyes were fixed on your face and he stood up so he could level with you.
"Everything okay?" he asked in a low tone, denoting his anxiousness.
"Yeah, just," you swallowed thickly, feeling already very restive. "I wanted to talk about what happened."
An awkward smile rose in his lips. "When?"
You sighed. "Last week," you muttered shyly. "We can't do that again, Cheol."
When you didn't follow up, you could see his features change and break. He nodded in silence and dropped his gaze to the floor.
Then it dawned on you that you weren't being entirely clear. "I mean, I work here now. And the guys are not dumb, they are catching on a few things."
"Why do you say that?" his eyes met your again.
"Wonwoo thinks I have a crush on you," you said while trying not to blush.
"Why?" he frowned. "He told you that?"
"Yeah, he was a little upfront about it. But not only that, I... kind of got emotional when I saw Jeonghan earlier today and Mingyu noticed," you muttered with some embarrassment.
"Oh," he blinked and his eyes appeared to be knowing. "I should've given you the heads up that Jeonghan was stopping by. I'm sorry."
A frustrated sigh fell from your mouth. Suddenly feeling like you could explode from so many emotions under one day. The exasperation in your eyes made Seungcheol frown.
"But that's what I'm supposed to say, Cheol: I am sorry. I'm sorry for everything, I'm sorry for how I ended things," you said, your voice thickening with emotion.
"I'm sorry, too," he whispered, and it broke you how much it still hurt.
"No—please, Cheol listen to me, I could have done things differently, but I was irrational. Trust me, the minute I boarded that plane, I wanted to go back–,"
"You had no choice," he cut off, his frown deepening. "Baby, don't think for a second that I blamed you for that. You were left with no choice. I understand that now, and I moved on."
Your eyes welled up in tears and rolled down your cheeks as soon as the words sunk in. "But I left anyway," you insisted. "I'm sorry for leaving."
His eyes glistened, a hand reaching out and grabbing yours. "I'm sorry for not trying to stop you."
It was like reopening a wound in your heart. The pain from it shook you so hard that you physically recoiled from it. Many times, you wished he had stopped you from leaving, but you had to live for years with the knowledge that he respected your choice to go.
"Cheol, don't be–,"
"But I am, I'm sorry for letting you go that easily when we could've tried and find a way to solve things together," he explained, his voice dropping to a mere murmur and you could tell that he wanted to have this conversation for the longest time.
Then his hands cupped your face, making your chest tighten under so much resentment and pent up emotions from the past two years.
"Look at me," he whispered and you met his dark eyes. "We both made a mistake. But we can fix it together."
You grabbed his wrists, brushing his skin with your thumbs. "I need more time to think, Cheol," you pleaded. "My life is a bit chaotic right now."
His eyes softened as he felt your touch. "Take all the time you need," he replied in a low murmur. "I'm here whenever you're ready."
"Thank you, Cheol," you whispered, mustering a small smile. "I promise I'll sort things out soon."
A soft smile tugged at the corners of his lips. "I'll wait for you. Don't worry," he assured you, squeezing your hand gently.
A deep sigh escaped you, revealing that you had been holding back tears throughout the entire conversation. Your throat tightened, and within moments, tears welled up in your eyes, spilling down as the last image you saw was his eyebrows furrowing in confusion.
A second later his arms were wrapped around you again. You instantly hid your face on his shoulder to cry freely, releasing all the guilt you've been bottling up for the past two years.
But hearing him apologize to you too made you discover that you've been wanting this for the same amount of time. You always felt like he let you walk away from his life too easily, even if it took you all the energy you had to do it.
Seungcheol's arms held you close, but you could feel his face snuggling on the crook of your neck, comforting you with his hands rubbing your back.
He let out a shaky sigh. "It's okay, baby. Let it all out. It's okay."
After five minutes of sobbing on his shoulder, you pulled away sniffing and trying to smooth down his ruined t-shirt.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to cry that hard. I just had the shittiest day," you muttered, gathering yourself and wiping your tears.
Seungcheol nodded in understanding. "I know, baby. I know it was hard. Don't let me rob you of more time you could use to be resting."
He motioned towards the door and got the lights of his office before stepping out into the parking lot behind the bar.
"Is working with me horrible?" he wondered, looking at the night sky. "I guess working with your ex must be stressing."
"Is it stressing for you?" you retorted as you made your way to your car.
"A bit," he admitted, showing you a smile to let you know he was joking. "It's not, really. Just the first day, I was losing my shit."
That made you chuckle. "Me too," you coincided. "But to answer your question, no. Having you as my boss is not as terrible as the boys said it'd be."
His thick brows furrowed. "They say that?" he pouted.
"Oh, you didn't know?" you asked alarmed. "Forget I said that."
His face relaxed and he grinned again. "I'm just playing with you. I'm well aware of what they say."
You shrugged and tried to come up with a response but a long yawn got in the way, making you shudder and almost shed a little tear.
"Wow," he laughed. "You need to get some rest, soon."
"Hm, sorry," you mumbled shyly, feeling a blush creep on your cheeks. "It's just that I haven't been getting much sleep and with the research and apartment hunt... 'm just so stressed about it."
"You didn't tell me you were in the middle of moving," he blinked, looking a bit more serious. "Do you need help with searching?"
You bit your tongue. Was that a Freudian slip?
"I uh... actually need a place to stay as soon as possible," you admitted.
"I'm not following," Seungcheol frowned.
The face he made next made your insides twist. He pursed his lower lip upward, pouting slightly. It was so rewarding to see him lose the initial resentment he had just a few days ago.
But deep down you knew that rebuilding your relationship with him would probably result difficult.
So you decided to start with being honest.
"My ex roommate gave me the late notice that we were evicted," you explained slowly: "I've been sleeping in my car for the last few nights."
"What, seriously?" he leaned toward the windows of your car to take a look inside in.
More than appearing to be worried, he looked kind of disappointed.
"Why didn't you–," he started, but then he seemed to remember: "Oh, wait. You were taking your space."
"Sorry about that," you shrugged. "I've been managing just fine but I do need to find a place soon."
You watched him nod with his head and press his lips together, making the dimples on his cheeks show.
"Seems like you're coming with me," he cooed softly.
You arched an eyebrow. "Don't look so unwilling, Cheol. You're making me feel bad," you quipped.
He just sighed and tutted softly, the way he did when he was putting the show of being disappointed. His hand fished the interior of all his pockets and pulled out his car keys.
"You can leave your car here," the locks of his grey wrangler clicked off. "Now let me move your stuff to the trunk."
You reluctantly unlocked the doors of your car and Seungcheol flung the backseat door open to unload the cardboard boxes and put them in the trunk of his car.
"Thank you," you smiled once Seungcheol loaded the trunk of his jeep with your stuff.
"Don't mention it," he muttered as he opened the door for you.
You climbed in his wrangler and looked around. "You got your dream car," you pointed, sinking in the creamy white leather seats that still smelled brand new.
"You remember," he said with a smile that reached his sleepy eyes before starting the engine.
Of course I do, you wanted to say. You wanted to tell him that there wasn't a single day in your two years without contact with him that you didn't remember him.
Seeing Seungcheol at the wheel, driving in the dead of the night brought a slew of memories. The amount of times he would drive to get you back home before dawn, or the times he'd pick you up to take you to dinner.
He would grab the steering wheel with one hand and with the other he would stroke your thigh with his thumb. Sometimes he would tease you a little, dragging his knuckles down your thigh, then down and so on.
"Your thoughts are loud," he muttered and sent a knowing look at you.
Your ex boyfriend was different now. Not the younger, dark haired version that used his brother's car to get you back home before your parents noticed you were gone.
It wasn't just the hair that had changed, or his body that gained more muscle mass.
"I was just... thinking," you mumbled, looking away from him and into the quiet streets.
"Yeah, I just said that," he laughed goofily.
You felt your heart swell hearing his goofy laugh, it made you choke back a sub. "Stop it," you whined, but couldn't resist to laugh with him. "I'm tired. I can't think straight."
He sighed with a smile on his face. "Do you want to grab something to eat or do you want to go straight to bed?"
"Bed," you muttered, dropping your head to the window beside you and letting yourself rest a little.
The car came to a full stop some five minutes later.
You blinked and stretched your arms, unbuckling your belt as Seungcheol opened your door for you. To get out of the car you practically had to jump and that made him smile fondly.
"Do you have all your stuff there?" he asked nodding to the boxes.
"Yup. I don't own much," you explained, searching for a medium sized box labelled 'pjs and stuff' where you put everything you needed for sleeping such as hygiene stuff, pyjamas and undergarments.
"Let me carry that," Seungcheol hurried, taking the box from your hands. "Do you need anything else for tonight?"
"Mmm dunno," you considered to look for the box that had your jeans and most used tops but you were just too tired to do so.
"Let's go up then," he nodded towards a building and you walked towards the back door, you pushed it open, letting Seungcheol through.
"Can you get my keys, please?" he asked before stopping in front of the elevator doors. "They're in my back pocket."
"Which one?" your arm circled on his right side.
"I don't know," he replied with the ghost of a smile, looking down at your face.
You let out a sigh and dug your hand on the back pocket of his black trousers, practically feeling his firm ass to find the pocket empty.
"I'll try the other pocket," you mumbled shyly, and circled your other arm to dig into the other pocket. "It's empty, too."
Your cheeks were growing hotter by the second, because the enjoyment in Seungcheol's eyes was undeniable. You rolled your eyes and palmed the front pockets of his trousers to find the keyring on his right front pocket.
"What, no groping this time?" he chuckled a little.
"Don't push it, Cheol," you sighed and called the elevator and used the fob key on the sensor.
"We're going to one-eight," he nodded to the buttons of the elevator and you followed, pressing the button to the eighteenth floor.
"That's high," you pointed. "Is that the second to last floor?"
"It is," he nodded and rested the back of his head on the wall.
"When did you move here?" you pried.
Seungcheol was standing across from you, so you could see him clearly under the dim lights on the elevator.
"Five–six months ago," he replied, looking upward while he remembered. "I moved out of the other apartment a month after you left, if that's what you're actually wondering."
It was what you actually wanted to know.
Seungcheol didn't use a condescending tone whatsoever. His tone was quiet and his eyes told not resentment but reassurance: he tried to move on. You couldn't reproach him for moving out of there and leaving everything behind.
You nodded silently, wanting to ignore how much it hurt you to know that you'd be facing all the things that he had to do to forget you.
"I can sleep on the couch. You can have the bed," he offered before the doors opened for you and slipped to the shiny floor of the hallway.
But before you could answer that you were okay with sleeping on the couch, you went after him. You actually already felt that he had done so much for you by letting you sleep at his place, you didn't want to take his bed as well.
"This way," he showed you to the door. "Use the number pad."
"Oh, this is really fancy," you muttered.
"As if you've never seen something like this before," he rolled his eyes, but a smile of pure endearment lifted to his eyes. "You know my passcode."
"I don't?" you blinked from him to the lock.
Is it...?
"Yes you do," he muttered beside you.
You entered the only number combination you knew he used to have on his phone's passcode lock.
"Why is our anniversary date still your passcode lock?" you asked when you opened the door to his apartment.
It was disconcerting to see him detach himself from all memory of you while still keeping something as significant as the day he asked you to be his girlfriend as his passcode lock, something that remained a part of his daily life.
"I use it for everything still," he admitted as he set down the box on a table and turned on the lights of the living room.
Though that was not necessary, since the wide windows of the living room stood tall and wide, from floor to ceiling, welcoming the faint glow of the city lights that filtered into the room, illuminating dimly.
"Why?" you asked again, standing by the doorway still.
"Well I didn't want to change everything, it was way too much work. And honestly, I suck at remembering stuff," he shrugged and used his hand to motion you over to him. "Come on in. I'll show you to my bedroom."
"I can crash on the couch, Cheol," you insisted, walking into the interior of the apartment after kicking your shoes and placing them beside his.
The apartment had a sophisticated feel to it, with faux marble floors complementing the countertops in the kitchen open to the living room. In the centre of the living room was a plush cream-colored rug. A long couch and armchair surrounded the coffee table.
Seungcheol always had a good taste, but the paintings on the walls and accents here and there made you think that maybe he had help with a few things.
"You are sleeping on the bed," he concluded, grabbing the box again and showed you to a door that led to the master bedroom.
The bedroom also had tall windows, partly covered by blackout drapes. Seungcheol put the box with your stuff on top of a dresser and turned on the bedside lamp.
"Make yourself comfortable. If you need anything let me know," he smiled fondly and left the room to give you your privacy.
Even though it was not a week that you and Seungcheol had sex in his office, you welcomed the very needed space and privacy he was giving you.
You took the liberty of using the shower and even using his towels after forgetting to bring in yours.
A while later you came out of Seungcheol's bedroom, dressed fully in your fuzzy pyjamas and found your ex lounging on the long couch, looking at his phone until he spotted you waking towards him.
He sat up when you stopped just before him and sent a confused look at you.
"I used your towel. Hope that's okay," you sat beside him with a tired sigh.
"You're free to use all my stuff," he muttered softly and wrapped an arm around your shoulders to pull you closer to him.
"Thank you Cheol," you whispered shyly, toying with the casing of your pyjama bottoms.
"Don't worry," he sighed as you placed your head on his shoulder. "I'm happy to help."
That drew a smile on your face. Seungcheol was someone that always made you feel safe, he used to be the person you trusted the most.
You let out a weary sigh through your nose, your eyes going over the nicely decorated apartment. There were no signs that he actually lived there—everything seemed neat, carefully placed, untouched and barely used.
Knowing him, he probably spent more time at his bar than in his home.
"Are you falling asleep?" you heard his low voice ask.
"'m trying to," you turned your head to find his tired eyes.
"You're not sleeping on the couch," he muttered with a pout. "If you fall asleep here I'll just carry you to bed."
The reaction those words caused inside you was of a fiery excitement. You smiled, feeling yourself flush a little.
"Well don't mind me then," you muttered cheekily before pretending to snuggle his shoulder as if it were a pillow and you closed your eyes.
"If that's what you want, just say so," he muttered with a tone of bemusement.
He promptly stood from the couch and snuck his arms underneath your body that was on the couch and carried you bridal style back to his bedroom.
The joy you felt at being treated this way again was not foreign to you. Even when you were his girlfriend, you felt elated at the princess treatment he gave you.
But reliving it also caused you to feel emotional, nostalgic of having him back into your life like this.
"There you go," he muttered as he carefully placed you on the side that you noticed he used on his bed, since the bedside table was the only of the two that was cluttered.
You quickly grabbed his arm as he was standing back from the bed and pulled him in, using the vulnerability of his stance to fully bring him on top of your body.
"What are you—," he chuckled as he stumbled on top, he was stronger than you so his hands stopped him from fully crushing you with his body, placing them strategically on the bed and at your sides.
You sighed in pure adoration at seeing his gummy smile again. Despite the tired look in his eye, he seemed relaxed, almost content as he pressed a knee on the bed to regain balance when he understood what you wanted.
Your hand slid on his nape to drag him into a needy kiss, which Seungcheol responded to in a split second with a groan that was muffled in your mouth, kissing you as fervently.
"I thought you needed time," he groaned, pressing his lips on yours a couple of times before trailing down to the underside of your chin.
"I need you, Cheol," you whimpered as his wet lips reached your throat, placing an open mouthed kiss to make his way to your collarbones.
Seungcheol stopped and turned his head to face you. "What do you need, baby?" he asked with a weary tone.
You knew that it was a tricky situation and that you still needed time to think if you were ready to go back to him fully.
"Can you lie down with me? And hold me?" you asked in a tiny voice.
His smile was warm. "Of course."
Seungcheol cuddled behind you, hugging your body closely to his own.
Moments passed, silence dragged on and you could sense that Seungcheol was wide awake. He snuggled his face on the back of your head, breathing you in.
It almost broke you to think of the times you needed this. When you were alone and far away in a distant country, you ached for his warmth and care. The simple reassurance of his presence was something you longed for so many nights.
You knew he missed you too. Every now and then he would tighten his arms around you, pulling you closer to his body.
"Why are you not sleeping?" he asked after what felt like an eternity, or so you wished for.
"I can't," you admitted with a sigh of defeat.
"You want me to go now?" he started to move his arms from your body.
"No, don't–," you stopped him from breaking his embrace. "Stay."
"You have to get some rest, baby," he urged.
You turned in his arms to face him and curled up against his body, your hands sneaking past his chest and to the sides of his neck, to angle your face to his and kiss him sweetly on his full lips.
He hummed into the kiss, his hands sliding down your back but stopping before your bum. You smiled, not caring that he'd feel that on his lips and decided to press the full front of your body against his.
At that, he broke away from your lips, his eyebrow twitched. "Someone's needy," he muttered before diving into your mouth again, kissing you hungrily.
You chuckled and wrapped a leg over his hips, understanding what you wanted he pushed your back to the bed, positioning himself between your legs as he continued to kiss you.
"Do you want me to help you sleep, baby, is that it?" he asked, darting a curious look to your eyes.
You only nodded eagerly with your head, feeling a blush creeping in your face.
His mouth pressed into a smile. "You haven't changed in that, love."
A fiery rush of emotions invaded you. Maybe you have changed in some aspects, but he always read you so well, better than anyone. In the four years you were lucky enough to be his girlfriend, he made a big commitment to remember every detail about you.
Seungcheol wasted no time and moved his body back and sat on his heels to hook his fingers on your pyjama bottoms and yank them off your legs swiftly.
He sighed in delight, looking down at you.
"What?" you asked, growing timid under his awe-struck gaze.
He shook his head slightly. "I just–," he pushed his blond hair with his hand. "I never even imagined that-"
Seungcheol was practically stuttering and he smiled in defeat when you laughed at his struggle.
"Come here," you extended your arms to him and he leaned his body towards you.
You cupped his face with your hands to kiss his full lips softly, enjoying the fact that he was just as jittery as you were.
His hands slid beneath the fuzzy material of your top, his thumbs rubbing your nipples in small circles as his tongue dragged your lower lip, eliciting a low whimper from you.
"I missed you so much, baby," he whispered as he broke away from you to get rid of your top.
"I missed you too," you replied to him as soon as he returned to press loving kisses on your face.
Your fingers tangled in his long blond hair, and as he pushed away from your face, you saw his glinting eyes, revelling at the sight of you.
The endearment written on his face made your chest hurt. It was clear what he meant to say but wasn't ready to speak the words yet. You tried smiling but resorted to blink slowly at him once as if saying, 'I know, me too.'
Seungcheol flashed you a smile in response, clearly getting the message.
He kissed your lips once before dipping his head to kiss your collarbones, pressing soft kisses over the dark hickeys on your tits as his thumbs played with your nipples for a second time.
You hummed into his mouth, feeling yourself swept away by the tenderness of his kisses. He slid his hands on the sides of your body, caressing your skin and leaving goosebumps in his wake.
When his fingers grabbed the band of your panties, he broke away from your lips. His hands slowly slid your panties down your legs, looking at you fondly as you lifted your feet from the bed and his fingers dragged your panties from your ankles and set them aside.
"You're so beautiful, baby," he murmured with a soft, smallest sigh, almost as if it were escaping from his mouth: "You've always been the prettiest girl I've ever seen."
You smiled, your chest swelling with pure bliss. "Thank you, daddy," you replied with a small voice.
Then he left a trail of wet kisses toward your belly button, kissing your tummy lovingly before using his hands to angle your thighs open for him.
He placed more kisses around your core, in the soft and sensitive area of your thighs, making you whimper and grab his soft hair with one hand when he ran his tongue flatly on your skin, and again, leaving a tingling sensation on your pussy lips.
A shaky whimper spilled from your lips as he darted a hungry look at your eyes before pressing his tongue flatly on your core, licking a stripe up your folds, savouring you, drinking you in with a satisfied groan.
"Cheollie," you mewled with a sigh, already weak in your legs as your jaw went slack, and your back arched up.
You heard him hum in response, his hands pressed your body down by your lower belly, his thumbs caressing your skin while his tongue gave broad strokes on your pussy lips, placing kisses in between licks, teasing you softly.
"I missed you so fucking bad, daddy, you have no idea," you whimpered, your hand grabbing at his hair and the other clinging to the bed covers.
Seungcheol's mouth was pressed so close to your core that you felt his lips move into a smile. He didn't stop at your words to give you a reply, he continued to eat you out, the tip of his tongue sinking into your core, slurping your sweet juices delightfully.
Lewd whimpers and cries flooded the room. You knew he loved the sounds he got out of you, just as Seungcheol knew what to do to get you crying out in pleasure.
He stopped licking and kissing your cunt and concentrated on your clit, pressing his full lips on your clit before pushing the tip of his tongue on it to then move it side to side, darting the swollen bud with a swift pace.
You cried out loudly, wanting more and more your fingers twisted around his long hair, following the movements that his head started to make, slightly up and down as he continued to suck on your clit.
"I'm close, daddy," you gasped. "Fuck! I'm so close, please, please, daddy," propping yourself on your elbows as your legs began to shake, making one of his hands slide down from your lower belly and force your thighs open for him.
The last thing you saw before your eyes screwed shut was Seungcheol's head buried deep between your thighs, his hands holding you down firmly to his bed as your legs trembled on his sides.
Your head dropped back, crying out loudly as your orgasm washed over your body, the sounds you made left your voice raw until you started panting.
"Oh god—oh my fucking god," you whimpered lewdly as you came all over his mouth. "I missed you so, so much, daddy. Daddy!"
Seungcheol groaned in your cunt, teasing you with his mouth as you came down from your high. But he wasn't stopping. You noticed he moved his mouth from your clit, but he resumed giving broad strokes across your folds, savouring your arousal again.
"Daddy, what are you—oh," you started, but then his hands blindly found yours, lacing your fingers with his and then pulling so that your elbows no longer supported your body.
The back of your head hit the pillows and you heard him let out a low and raw groan. You understood that he wasn't done. Because of course he wasn't.
Seungcheol worked his mouth on your cunt to hear you moaning and whimpering again until he hummed in satisfaction against your folds.
Then the tip of his tongue swirled around your clit a few times before it darted side to side swiftly and continued to do so, knowing that would draw your orgasm out of you again.
"Mmm, 'm gonna cum again, daddy," you mewled, your chest rising and falling heavily as you felt your limbs growing numb. "Daddy, 'm almost there, I'maah-"
The grip you had on his hands tightened as his mouth forced a second orgasm from you, making you moan loudly repeatedly calling out his name until you were completely breathless.
Your limbs went limp just as his hands broke free easily from yours to smooth your legs soothingly. He placed one final kiss on your mound and lied his head on your thigh.
"Tired yet, love?" he asked, pressing the side of his face against your upper thigh, using it as a pillow.
"Mmyeah," you hummed. "I could die right now," you sighed weakly.
He smiled fondly. "I think you mean sleep?"
You nodded and added: "After I make you feel good too."
He raised a hand to stop you from moving. "Shh, let me enjoy this," he muttered lazily, nuzzling the side of your face against your thigh.
"But, I want you to feel good too," you frowned.
He blinked sleepily and shook his head that was still on your thigh. "I'm good, baby."
"Really?"
"Really," he whispered with a small smile, looking elated. "I missed this. I missed you," he smiled lazily.
Seungcheol moved on top of your body to capture your lips with his, kissing you sweetly before climbing down the bed, where you lied languidly watching him get rid of his shirt in one movement and throw it to the side.
"I'll be back in five, angel," he told you before he walked into the bathroom, turning on the shower a minute later.
When he returned, you weren't aware if five minutes passed precisely. Since you were fast asleep already, only to feel his hands move you beneath the covers, and then his warm body pressed behind yours, his arms wrapped around you.
Seungcheol held you closely throughout the night, until somewhere in the distance you heard an alarm go off. And you were barely aware of the kiss he left on your cheek before pulling away from you and leaving the bed.
Some hours later you woke up in his large bed, naked and alone. You searched for your phone but then you remembered that it was probably back in the living room.
After finding your clothes which were scattered on the floor around the bed you got dressed and went to search for your phone. You wanted to know what the time was, and if you needed to tend to any texts.
But luckily, it was still fairly early in the morning and you didn't have any messages or emails.
So you busied yourself as best as you could. Starting by changing into casual clothes and after perusing what the wifi password was—which Seungcheol had in a note stuck to the fridge with a magnet, you then grabbed your laptop and browsed for a place to move in.
You were sitting on the stool in the kitchen countertop working on finding an affordable place when Seungcheol returned. You being the first thing he laid eyes upon entering his apartment.
"Hi there," you hummed with a smile.
"G'morning. Brought you breakfast," he lifted a bag with his hand and placed it beside your laptop and promptly placed a kiss on your cheek.
You noticed his hair looked messy and sweaty, and you noticed he had gone to the gym, his compression t-shirt hugged the muscles of his chest, and the grey sweatpants that hung on his waist just right.
You gulped.
"Thank you," you smiled at him as you pushed your laptop aside and inspected the box containing the food he grabbed for you.
"Any luck yet?" he nodded to the screen on your laptop, where your search has stopped cold at the sight of food.
He leaned on the countertop beside you to look closer to the screen.
"Nope," you replied shortly, stuffing your mouth with food eagerly.
He shrugged. "You'll find something," he said reassuringly and when he looked at your cheeks full he smiled fondly.
"I'll be out of your hair soon, don't worry," you muttered, trying to cover your mouth as you were still chewing up your food.
"You can stay here as long as you need, you know that," he brushed off with a small frown on his face.
You nodded. "Thank you, Cheol."
His eyes lingered on your for a second before he muttered reluctantly: "And if you don't find anything that suits your needs, you can stay here, indefinitely."
You had to take a second to understand what he was saying. And your heart skipped a beat.
"I appreciate that, Cheol. But I think I need to find a place of my own," you muttered and looked down to your food.
Seungcheol shot a brief glance your way, his expressive eyes had dimmed. Upon realizing that he had touched on a sore subject that had caused arguments between you in the past, he turned away from the counter and walked out of the open kitchen, distancing himself from you.
"I'm taking a shower. And then we leave," he announced awkwardly.
"O-okay," you nodded. "Thank you for bringing me food."
"Don't mention it," he nodded before turning his back to you and walking off to his bedroom.
This shift was not as heavy as you initially had prepared for.
It was thursday, and instead of it being a night in which you had a live band playing, it was ladies night, a new concept that Mingyu proposed when Midnight Haze announced they'd be going on tour opening for another big rock band.
The concept to say the least was... interesting.
"Hey newb, you'll be behind the bar tonight for a bit," Wonwoo instructed and nodded to the guy that was in deep conversation with Seungcheol on one of the booths before opening hours.
"Oh, right, the newer newb is here," Mingyu said. "And who's going to help the new kid?"
"You," Wonwoo stated, crossing his arms over his chest.
Mingyu's jaw almost dislocated. "Me?" he pointed to his chest. "Why me?"
"Because you've been distracted. I want you to change tasks for tonight," he explained briefly and then looked at you. "You can handle the bar, right?"
Mingyu rolled his eyes with a snort and came out from behind the countertop and got to work, although fuming.
"Yeah, I can," you shrugged.
And also, you had a license. You don't know how Wonwoo even remembered that but you were glad he did. Because you also were in need to take a break from managing the tables.
"Right," Wonwoo clasped his hands together. "Let's get to work, Newb."
You nodded and followed Wonwoo behind the countertop.
The actual newbie's name was Chan. Who was a dark haired guy with an easygoing personality, you learned that he was an aspiring singer, within the first 60 seconds of you talking he mentioned his SoundCloud with great enthusiasm.
But the real reason he was here was because Wonwoo sort of convinced him to work here under the promise of juicy tips. Which, worked to the favor of the new concept of ladies night, something that you'd also learn soon.
The bar was nicely packed around 9PM. And Mingyu's idea seemed to stick, since the tables and barstools were occupied and most of the customers were, in fact, women.
"Holy shit," you said under a breath, watching with keen eye the looks being thrown at the boys tending the table.
And also to you and the man beside you tending the bar, and you felt slightly nervous whenever you caught someone on the countertop looking your way.
"Indeed," Wonwoo responded with a breathy laugh. "I mean, we get this crowd whenever the Haze boys come around, but not like this."
"Looks like the boys are having fun," you pointed with your nose to Mingyu and Chan, who kicked right off with the right foot and worked with a nice synergy.
"Finally," Wonwoo said with a sigh. "Need Mingyu to get out of his own head."
"Breakups are hard," you muttered as you turned to get the new orders from the machine.
Something caught your eye, Seungcheol's blond hair as he flipped it back with one hand as he strolled his tall body in front of the row of booths, inevitably turning the looks of people he passed by.
A sigh escaped your lips. Seungcheol has always had this effect on people. He is alluring, by the way he walked and stood. He commanded himself with a confidence that you have not seen in anyone else you have ever met.
You bit back a smile.
"Hello?" Wonwoo snapped. "Newbie, gimme that," he said with urgency and yanked the order from your hand.
"Sorry," you said, feeling a hot wave wash over your face.
"Seriously?" Wonwoo tutted and shook his head.
"What?" you said as he handed you another order and you got to work.
"At least try not to be obvious," he flashed you a grin and pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose while the other hand was busy pouring a glass of whiskey and coke.
"God, okay," you widened your eyes in annoyance. "You are snoopy."
"And you are sloppy."
You chuckled. "Maybe. But at least I mind my business."
"Shut up," he hissed with a bright smile.
"Yah! You two," Seungcheol pointed towards you and Wonwoo. "Stop bickering."
Seungcheol had made his way to one side of the countertop, that being the side Wonwoo was mostly in charge of. You nodded with your head and it took you a second to notice that Seungcheol was amused by you.
"Like kids, I swear," he said with a click of his tongue.
"It's all her, boss," Wonwoo pointed teasingly at you. "She has her head over the clouds, god knows why."
"Wonwoo!" you shrieked like a little girl and pushed him by the shoulder.
But he obviously didn't budge. The man towered over you, but he only giggled. "See? She's even blushing, had to clean drool off the counter, you shoulda seen boss."
"Fuckin'stopit, Jeon Wonwoo," you hissed at him.
Seungcheol chuckled goofily, making you stop your feeble pleas to Wonwoo, who also looked somewhat stunned by your boss's reaction.
"Stop it you two, alright," he shook his head once before walking off to the kitchen.
"Huh," Wonwoo huffed. "That went well."
"What?" you gasped. "You just embarrassed me in front of him!"
"And it worked," he shrugged with a sly smile on his face.
"Uh... no it didn't—what worked exactly?" you demanded, your cheeks blazing hot that you had to lower your head a bit so that no one saw your embarrassed expression.
"He got shy."
You stopped and looked at him, quirking an eyebrow. "Yeah, sure."
It was weird to have the need to conceal both your excitement and nervousness. Sort of working in your favour because Wonwoo was so sure that you were jittery because you were crushing on your boss, according to him.
You didn't want to imagine what expression would take on his features if he ever knew that you weren't crushing on your boss, but your ex.
The shift ended quietly and you silently thanked the gods because you still felt embarrassed by the exchange between you and Wonwoo. And he appeared to be knowing of that, because you were trying to turn a blind eye towards Seungcheol, who for some reason kept strolling around the bar, helping with minor tasks here and there.
Wonwoo sent you some smug looks when Seungcheol went around the countertop and started helping you with the close up.
After everyone had exited the bar, you stood around your car for a bit, pretending to be busy responding to texts as Chan, Wonwoo and Mingyu had left, and the rest of your coworkers did too.
Seungcheol crossed the small parking lot behind the bar as he got his car keys from the pocket of his jacket, unlocking the doors of his jeep.
You hopped in the passenger seat of Seungcheol's jeep, feeling your heart almost thumping out of your throat when your ex sighed a smile.
"So," he threw a hand over the steering wheel. "You were caught drooling over someone."
"Not you too," you scoffed but laughed at his smug expression.
"No wonder Wonwoo is catching onto something, you might be a bit obvious," he smirked and ignited the car, driving away from the parking lot.
"I only looked at you once," you mumbled sheepishly.
"What were you looking at?" he inquired with a soft tone.
"I might have been looking at your butt," you laughed out of embarrassment.
"In front of everyone?" Seungcheol chuckled.
You hid your face behind the palms of your hands with a groan. "I couldn't help it."
A hand slid on your thigh, his fingers softly digging into the fabric of your jeans.
"Baby, you can't do that while working, the boys might actually start questions and what are you going to say?" he teased and you looked at him through your fingers, he was smirking while darting a few looks at you.
"I mean I wasn't the only one looking," you muttered shyly, your voice sounding tiny. "You look really good in those pants."
He laughed in response. "Is that what you told Wonwoo, baby?"
"No," you replied quickly. "I told him to stop snooping."
"I could tell him the truth, if that makes you feel better," he suggested with a small smile as the car came to a red light.
"What?" you squealed, dropping your hands to see his face illuminated by the soft red glow.
He shrugged. "I trust the boys. They would have no issue with you being my ex girlfriend."
Somehow the last word made your chest tighten.
"Bu-but I thought you didn't want them to know," you blurted.
"That would be the sensible thing to do, if I didn't trust them. But they've been here with me since I started this, I really trust they will understand," he muttered while he rubbed two fingertips over his plump lips.
"Um, okay," you mumbled, completely unsure.
"Only if you want to," he quickly put in when he saw your hesitation.
"I don't know," you sighed and bit back a yawn.
Seungcheol continued driving with his large hand firmly parked in your thigh, making your body tingle in anticipation.
"Jeonghan asked me for your number, forgot to tell you," he mentioned in passing, as if wanting to drive the conversation elsewhere.
"Oh? Did you give it to him?"
"Yeah, I did," he nodded with a frown. "Thought you'd want him to have it. Was that okay?"
"Totally!" you smiled, eager to finally reconnect with your former best friend. "Thank you, Cheol."
A smile reached his eyes and he sighed.
"What?" you asked.
Seungcheol parked and turned the engine of his car off. "Nothing," he said, unbuckling the belt. "It's nice to see you happy, that's all."
"It's been so long. I never thought I'd see him again," you said with a sigh. "I honestly thought he'd hate me..."
You dropped your gaze to your hands.
"Hey," he muttered, turning on his seat to face you. "Don't think that, baby. He has no reason to hate you, even if he did, he wouldn't."
You mustered a smile and looked at his big dark eyes, then his lips.
"Let's go," he muttered, noticing your wandering gaze.
"'kay," you sighed and followed him out of the car and onto the building.
In the elevator, Seungcheol had his hands behind his back, leaning back against the wall as he eyed the ceiling.
You watched him carefully, every detail of him. He way he stood, the way his t-shirt clung on his lean pecs and the wide shoulders that stretched the fabric down to his biceps.
One eyebrow twitched ever so slightly.
"You're staring again," he muttered without looking at you.
"No, I'm not," you mumbled sheepishly, dropping your gaze.
"Your thoughts are loud, baby," he giggled and you lifted your gaze to find him smirking.
"Tell me what I'm thinking, then," you quipped, returning the smirk.
Your heart fluttered rapidly, sinking with the familiarity of playing around like this with your ex.
Seungcheol pushed himself off the wall with a step forward and stood before you, making your knees wobble.
"I could show you," he said with a confident smirk, the eyebrow twitched slightly again.
The doors of the elevator opened, the small bump when the elevator arrived to the second to last floor left you feeling somewhat dazed. Or perhaps was the man standing in front of you, with a smirk plastered on his face when he knew the effect he had on you.
He walked into the long marbled floor hall and you followed him, noticing a slight urgency on his movements when he opened the door for you.
As soon as he closed the door, his hands slid on your waist from behind, stopping you in your tracks and pulled you closer to his body. You gasped slightly, your hands immediately flying to cover his with a jerk.
"Are you going to tell me what's on your mind, love?" he asked with a low tone, his nose bumping with your ear.
You turned to see him, his eyes had darkened, and was now wearing an expression that you knew too well.
When he saw you falter, he slowly turned you on your feet, his hands firmly parked on your waist. "I know that we still have a pending conversation but," he paused, searching your face. "I really need you right now, baby."
A shiver of pure delight ran throughout your body, earning a soft sigh from you.
"Then take me, Cheollie," you breathed, pressing your body against his.
He drove you against the wall, effectively pinning you with his large frame and not a second later he locked your lips with his own, groaning in your mouth with a sigh.
The hands on your waist slowly slid down your ass, grabbing it momentarily before crouching slightly before you and you understood what he wanted and jumped in his arms.
"Good girl," he muttered gruffly, moving his hands firmly on your ass as he carried you in his capable arms to his bedroom.
Seungcheol threw your body on the large comfy covers of the bed, muffling your fall perfectly. You let out a small blissful squeal and focused your eyes on him, feeling so needy already that you might've combust.
Seungcheol stood before you, his darkened eyes roaming all over your fully clothed body impatiently.
"Do you still like it rough, baby?" he asked as he pressed one knee on the bed and crawled on top of you.
"You know I do, daddy," you replied with a honeyed tone.
Seungcheol lowered his elbows, framing your head and pressed his body on top of yours. "Did the guys you fucked treated you the same way I do?"
Your breath hitched and something clicked in your brain instantly. Your eyes read his face frantically, he seemed calm, controlled, just like he always did when he dommed you.
"O-of course not," you whispered, quivering under his darkened gaze. "No one fucks me like you do."
Did he really want to know? He might have assumed that you had other partners when you went away, right? Did he had other partners? Oh fuck, you did not even want to entertain that thought, your heart sank at the mere prospect.
Seungcheol probably did, though. Assuming that he already thinks the same of you.
He smiled playfully, like a cat toying with his food he dipped his head to graze his lips against yours slowly. "Did you think of us when you fucked other people, baby?"
His lips moved to kiss your cheek and you quivered when his hands slid under your shirt, feeling your waist.
Did he think of you? You thought to ask.
"No," you replied sincerely. "But I would when they'd leave and I had to finish alone."
"Mmm," he hummed thoughtfully. "That bad I ruined you, baby?"
"That bad," you nodded. "I tried to convince myself it was good. But it just wasn't the same."
His lips pressed on the shell of your ear before saying: "Of course it wasn't, angel. No one knows you like I do."
You let out a shaky moan when he nipped your earlobe. "No one," you echoed. "Not even close."
You felt him smile on the spot below your ear. "And no one else will, baby."
You let out a pathetic whimper, not even daring to process what his words really implied. "No one," you parroted entrancedly.
Seungcheol groaned softly in your ear and pressed more kisses down the crook of your neck, earning more sweet sounds from your lips, you squirming under him, one hand had made its way on the hard muscles of his back, while the other cupped the back of his head.
"I need you naked, now," he muttered quietly and pulled his body back, kneeling on the bed before you.
Somehow your body silently started synergizing with his, you sat up in the bed just as his hands took the hem of your t-shirt, pulling it over your head with one move and tossing it to the floor. And then you lied back again when his fingers hooked on your jeans after yanking the button and zipper undone.
Lifting your hips for him to yank your jeans down your legs so hard that you heard some seams rip.
He let out a huff with a smirk. "These fucking jeans," he muttered through his teeth. "Can't fucking get you out of my head on a regular basis and then you wear these jeans... fuck baby, it's like you know."
He climbed back on top of you, placing his forearms on each side of your head to kiss you chastely once.
"It's like you know what you do to me," he muttered gruffly. "But you do, you know me better than anyone too."
Your heart lurched at his words, but couldn't help but show him a small smile. "Yeah, I do," you said confidently.
Seungcheol returned the smile. "Yeah, baby?" he whispered on your lips, trapping your lower lip to pull at it softly. "Can you still take me like before?"
Your whole body burned at his question and you nodded with your head slowly. "Ye-yeah I can," you faltered for a second. "I can take it."
"That's my baby," he whispered and swiped a line on your lower lip with the tip of his tongue. "Arch your back for me. I need to see you," he slid a hand beneath you to unclasp your bra and uncovered your breasts for him.
Seungcheol instantly palmed your breasts teasingly rubbing his thumbs over your nipples, making you squirm when he leaned down to wrap his mouth around one of them, sucking lightly and nipping at it with his teeth.
"Fucking perfect," he grunted. "You're the prettiest girl I've ever seen, I swear."
"Daddy," you mewled and grabbed a handful of his soft hair when he decided to pay attention to your other nipple, sucking at it, playing with it and tugging it with his mouth.
"I'm here, love," he replied, darting a look at you. "Daddy's gonna treat you right. Fuck you like you deserve."
You nodded eagerly. "P-please, I need it."
Seungcheol sighed with a smile at your plea, his fingers hooked on the band of your panties, pulling them off to watch the string of arousal that stretched as the fabric separated from your wet core, broke and fell on the covers.
"So fucking wet already," he clicked his tongue.
"All for you, daddy," you sighed, feeling a blush creeping on your cheeks.
"All for me," he echoed, hovering over your body to press a hungry kiss on your lips.
Your hands slid under the white t-shirt to drag it up his body, feeling his muscles tighten and he sighed shakily under your touch, standing upright for you to continue undressing him.
You marvelled at his half-naked body for a second, your hands caressed his shoulders and slid down his chiselled chest and stopped at the belt of his pants.
"You've gotten bulkier," you whispered, darting a look at his eyes.
"Do you like it?" he asked, tilting his head to the side a little.
"Yeah, I do. A lot," you muttered, mustering a smile.
He pinched your chin gently but said nothing more.
"I need you to get up," you mumbled nervously before undoing the button of his pants.
This felt different than the night he fucked in his office. You felt nervous under the pressure of your decision, that and the fact that Seungcheol wanted to have his way with you like before, but that caused another kind of nervousness.
Seungcheol got up from the bed and you followed him, getting him out of his jeans to then bit back a sigh when you saw the huge bulge he store beneath his briefs. You ran a palm over his clothed cock, noticing a small patch of his briefs wet with precum.
A shudder in excitement invaded you when you pushed his briefs down. His cock sprung free and you let out a strangled sigh in pure bliss.
You pushed him with your hands at his sides, earning a soft chuckle from him when he understood what you intended to do. Sitting him down on the edge of his bed and kneeling on the floor between his splayed thighs.
You caressed his supple thighs with a shudder that shook you to your core, almost whimpering pathetically at the sight of him. Naked, hard, leaking and needy.
Seungcheol cupped the side of your face with one hand and your eyes fluttered shut under his warm touch. "Is this what you had in mind, angel?"
"Yeah," you breathed lewdly with a nod to your head. "Can I suck you off, daddy?"
"Fuck, yes," he sighed, the corner of his mouth stretching in a grin as his hand brushed your hair back gently.
You made sure to look in his eyes right before grabbing his girthy cock with your hand, you wanted to see his features dissolve into pleasure as you took him in your mouth. Starting with a broad stroke with your tongue from the base of his cock to its head, tasting the salty precum in his slit and his mouth parted a little, releasing a low guttural moan.
"You don't know how much I missed your mouth, baby," he mumbled faintly.
You pushed your mouth down his cock and hummed around it, swirling your tongue around his pink tip every time you pulled your mouth back.
Seungcheol hissed and his hands started gathering your hair in one tight fist as your mouth started to feel more comfortable on his cock and felt bold enough to take him further, so that his cockhead pushed up your throat.
Your hand stroked what you could not take in your mouth fully, while the other caressed his thigh, making him shudder and swallow a moan in his throat.
"God, baby that feels so good," you sneaked a look towards the man completely trapped under your spell.
You hummed again, making wet sounds with your mouth on is cock loudly to make him shudder. He had his half-lidded eyes trained on you, one hand gathering your hair and the other gripping the covers tightly.
"Fuck, that's it, baby," he whispered. "You're taking me so well," he kept his praise with a low raspy tone.
At that, you picked up the pace, your drool coated hand moving faster on the base of his throbbing cock while you worked your mouth around its head, earning more sweet praises and moans from him.
The overwhelming need to worship his body invaded you. It made your cunt throb and moan around his cock, making slurping sounds as you sucked his big cock and took him further in your mouth.
You gagged a little bit when you tried to push his cock in your throat, and his hand tightened around your hair. "Stop," he instructed.
You pushed your head back and got him out of your mouth, breathing through your nose deeply.
Seungcheol leaned down to kiss your lips chastely, his hand still on your hair. "I want you on all fours," he mumbled in your mouth, but his command was firm.
You complied almost immediately, crawling on all fours to the middle of the large bed. You propped your elbows on the pillows and looked over your shoulder to see him.
Seungcheol pressed one knee on the edge of the mattress, the soft covers dipping around him as he climbed his wholly naked body on the bed. Then you noticed that the curtains of the large windows were drawn still, creating a backdrop behind his frame of the city lights in the middle of the night.
It was not only the sight of his beautiful body that caught your sight. Nor the way that the lights seemed to shimmer behind him. His eyelids were lowered as he looked at your body, you saw his heavy lashes, his full lips.
He leaned his head to one side as one of his hands caressed your skin from the small of your back, down to one of your glutes.
Your tummy fluttered nervously.
"Do you remember our safeword, love?" he asked, pausing for a second.
How could you not remember? You nodded and told him the safeword you established for each other years ago.
Looking at him over your shoulder still, you saw him take one hand to the space between your bodies. A smile appeared on his face when you arched your back for him in anticipation. Then you felt him run the tip of his cock between your pussy lips once, teasing you briefly before easing himself inside you in one go.
But he wasted no time, starting to push his hips against you, giving you no testing or shallow thrusts. His pace was hard and fast, nearly brutal. It had you mewling against the bedcovers instantly, your fingers curling on the pillows for support.
"That's my girl," he gasped each word between his brutal thrusts. "Stretching so nicely for daddy's cock."
You hummed in affirmation and closed your eyes, savouring every inch of his big cock dragging out of your gummy walls and then sinking back in.
"Daddy," you sighed a moan. "Please."
You were not sure why you were begging, or what for. But when Seungcheol picked up the pace a little, slamming his hips against you so hard that your body started to bounce on his bed, you forgot what you wanted to say.
"Fuck, daddy, just like that please," you gasped lewdly, when his cock reached a glorious spot deep inside you, making your mind go blank.
You heard him groan gutturally and looked at him over your shoulder. Seungcheol had thrown his head back a little, his tongue was trapped between his teeth. The hand parked on the small of your back had travelled far up your back a little, while the other held you in place.
"God," he sighed. "You're taking me so well, baby."
"Mm-mmph," you mewled, closing your eyes to lose yourself in the blissful pleasure you got from him hitting that spot with his cock repeatedly.
Seungcheol was practically growling, his raw moans spilling from his lips in a frantic manner as his hips slammed into your ass, making you gasp and moan with every thrust.
"F-fuck, I'm almost there, daddy," you sighed and gulped hard, tasting your sweet release.
His hands gripped you so hard on your hips as he quite literally pummelled you that you knew you'd have bruises on your hips and ass the following day. But he didn't stop, and you internally thanked him.
"You want to come, baby?" he asked, his voice low and raspy.
"Yes please, daddy. I'm so close," you whimpered your eyes brimmed with tears. "Feels so good, so fucking good—"
Hearing you being so needy for your release made him let out a deep groan in pleasure. But he continued with his brutal thrusts on you, his hands firmly grabbing your hips, his fingers digging in your skin so deep you knew you'd have marks in the following morning.
"Come for me baby," he gasped. "Come on daddy's cock," he said in a low guttural tone.
All you could feel was his cock plunging in your clenching walls as your orgasm hit you so hard and good that your ears rung, drowning out your own cries of pleasure.
Then a hand circled your neck, and effortlessly pulled you up so what his hard chest was pressed to your back. Seungcheol's fingers didn't press that hard, but with enough strength to make you gulp abruptly and grab his wrist.
"I love the sounds you make for me," he growled. "You're so fucking good for me."
You whimpered at the sound of his voice so close to your ear, his cock still pumping hard inside you so hard that you could feel your whole body bouncing against his.
"I'm gonna stuff this pretty cunt with my cum. You want that, love?" he asked, gasping softly at your ear.
"Yes, please!" you replied with a whimper, your hand clenching the wrist up your neck. "Fill me up, please. Please, daddy."
A groan left his mouth, sounding so low and guttural that it vibrated on his chest so hard you felt it on your body. His hips slammed against you, his hand tightening in your neck as he came inside you, gasping softly on your shoulder.
Slowly his hand released your neck, his strong muscly arms encircled and pressed your body against him. He held you close to his chest, as he breathed heavily on your neck in a mixture of exhaustion and bliss.
"You're always so good for me," he muttered lazily as he showered you with loving kisses on your neck and shoulder.
You snuggled closer to his warmth, angling your head for more of his kisses and you felt him smile on your cheek.
"Can we cuddle?" you asked when his lips reached your own.
He paused, reading your eyes before nodding with his head. "Whatever you want, baby."
You slowly lied face down on his bed and Seungcheol followed, slumping his naked body beside you.
Then his big arms were wrapped around you, efficiently pulling you on top of his body. You pressed your head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat and the soft hum he released.
Two fingers gingerly took your chin, commanding you to look at him.
"Okay?" he breathed.
You nodded and pressed your lips into a smile. "Okay."
The corner of his mouth stretched slightly in the faintest of smiled. "C'mere," he whispered, reading your eyes before leaning in for a warm, tender kiss.
"Cheol," you breathed in his lips.
"You don't know how much I missed you, baby," he quickly cut in, almost as if he did not want to let the moment be swept away. "So much."
"I missed you too," you echoed with shaky voice. "So, so much."
"Only in my most insane moments I dared to imagine you here with me again," you felt him smile on your lips. "But here you are."
Your heart broke a little, making you close your eyes before you could control yourself. "I'm here, Cheol."
The tip of his nose nudged yours gently before he pressed a soft kiss on your lips. "Don't leave again."
You choked back a sob in his mouth, unable to utter a word.
"Please," he whispered.
"I'm not entirely sure if this is a good idea," you told him sincerely. "I'm a different person now, Cheol. Not the girl you once loved."
It was true. You were far from the girl that Seungcheol loved. Time has a funny way of changing things and it sure as hell did with you.
But he smiled, an endearing glint in his eyes. "I know you've changed, baby," he muttered. "I've changed too. We can get to know each other again."
The idea sounded good. After all Seungcheol was you first love. Your first everything: first (real) kiss, first boyfriend, first sexual partner, first heartbreak. So the prospect of getting to know him all over again after years was exciting.
Something to look forward to.
"I don't think we can go back to what he had," Seungcheol said softly. "And honestly, I don't want to. I want to start over."
"Can we? We can't just turn a blind eye to what we've done for the past few days," you pointed to your naked bodies, alluding to having sex multiple times already.
"Remember when we started dating?" he asked while his fingers brushed your hair from your face. "We moved so fast, we were already having sex within the first month of knowing each other."
You laughed, your cheeks bundled up and forced some tears from your eyes. "I know, I remember. But that's not what I'm saying, Cheol," you playfully pushed his shoulder. "How would this work? You being my boss, and my ex–"
"You're overthinking it," he shook his head once. "We'll take it step by step. I know it's tricky, and it's going to take a lot to figure it out. But I know that I'm ready now."
He was right: you were overthinking everything.
Nothing could ever get you back to what you used to have with Seungcheol. There was no going back to the person you were when you were madly in love with him. Even if you still loved him now, there was a lot you had to rebuild.
His thumb gently brushed away a lonely tear that rolled down your cheek. "What do you say, love?" he whispered so softly that it was barely audible. "Can we start again?"
Seungcheol paused, looking hesitant, but in the brief silence that followed, you understood that no matter what your answer was, one thing was still very evident: you still loved him.
As you nodded with your head, he pulled you into a tender kiss. It was too soft, slow and warm and wet. You melted into the kiss, your whole body shuddered under his touch, making you stifled a sob in his lips.
"Thank you, baby," he whispered in between kisses. "I won't let you down again, I promise—I promise."
✧ a/n: heyyyyoooo (´◡`)
if this has mistakes or continuity errors, please forgive me, i only picked up this draft after i abandoned it since october
thank you for waiting for this part! i really appreciate everyone who engaged with part i and waited for this one. it took me really long to post this because i wasn't feeling it, idk 🥺 pls forgive me
i'll try to update soon!!
if you liked reading this, please let me know? i'd appreciate a comment, reblog, like or an ask! my ask box is always open and i love to know your thoughts on anything pls i'm lonely 🥺
so if any of you guys have read my other fics, you may or may not have noticed that all my fics are connected in one single universe hehe. i might make a masterpost soon. so stay tuned for that and,
✧ PART 3 !!✧
anywhoos, i love you all ⸜(。˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡
toodles

© RIGHTS RESERVED TO HANNIEWEEN I DO NOT ALLOW TRANSLATIONS, CONTINUATIONS, REIMAGINATIONS OF MY WORKS OR THEIR REPOSTING ON OTHER WEBSITES.
#seungcheol smut#scoups smut#svt smut#choi seungcheol smut#seventeen smut#choi seungcheol x reader#seventeen x reader#svt imagines#choi seungcheol fanfic#scoups x reader#seungcheol x reader#ff:heartbreaker#hannieween
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i have a few scenarios for you to consider
~~~
character: “i’m not straight”
fandom*: mmmm but what if you were
~~~
character: is bisexual in the comics
fandom: well, character isn’t explicitly stated to be bi in the movies, therefore character is straight
~~~
writer: yeah character is pan and has a dating history with all genders (and this wasn’t shown bcuz of xyz)
fandom: well, it doesn’t matter what the writer says, character is straight bcuz they’ve only dated the opposite gender on screen
~~~
character: is gay (either implied or explicitly stated to be homosexual and homoromantic)
fandom: well, maybe they’re homosexual but heteroromantic**, therefore i’m only going to ship this character with the opposite gender
~~~
character: is a lesbian
fandom: well, lesbians can still have sex with men therefore i’m going to write f/m smut with this lesbian and a man. not as a “figuring out/exploring my sexuality” fic but just bcuz i can
~~~
queer community: hey this character is canonically queer, could you please be respectful of that?
fandom: how about you go fuck yourselves. this is so embarrassing to be asking for respectful representation, literally shut the fuck up
~~~
character: is canonically gay
fandom: well you can’t prove he’s not attracted to women so he’s straight actually
~~~
disclaimers:
* i’m talking about a fandom as a whole in this post, not a couple individuals who may do this. this is talking about if a large chunk (think half or more) of a fandom is ignoring a canon queer identity
** no hate to someone who may identify this way. if someone is this identity, kudos to them, but people shouldn’t just use this as an excuse to ignore someone’s queer identity
this is how you sound when ignoring aspec*** identities. do you hear how ridiculous this is?
*** aspec (the way i use it at least) includes the asexual spectrum (ace-spec) and aromantic spectrum (aro-spec). also your friendly reminder that people can be aro and not ace and vise versa but you can’t ignore one or the other to suit your fancy
there will probably always be people doing this (re: ignoring canon queer identities) in fandoms, however, not in mainstream and popular ships and not to the extent that aspec identities are erased. bcuz if you have a problem with the above scenarios but not when the character is aspec, an already basically invisible identity, you need to re-examine your thinking and deal with your hypocrisy
do you know how hard it is to prove a LACK of something? even if someone straight up says, “i experience zero sexual or romantic attraction to anyone,” someone else will be like, “well how do you know you just haven’t found the right person yet?”
is the idea that someone doesn’t want a romantic or sexual relationship that difficult to understand?
if you want to see your identity represented in a character headcanon, great! but do so in a way that doesn’t negate another marginalized and underrepresented canon identity
there are SO! MANY! straight characters at your disposal. use one of them for your queer headcanons until we reach the point where your identity is canon. then you’ll probably be fighting for representation the same way i am right now
it also sucks to see fighting within the aspec community. bcuz yes aro and ace identities are a spectrum. however, when there’s a singular character with an aspec identity, you physically cannot showcase that spectrum. so if an ace character is sex-favorable, allos will believe all ace people are sex-favorable and ignore aces who are not. same thing for sex-repulsed aces and so on. the only solution is to fight for more aspec representation so everyone can see themselves in media without sacrificing parts of an aspec identity to fit how you identify
i’m tired. i’m so fucking tired of fighting for an ounce of representation. this should not be an uphill battle for people to accept aspec characters. i shouldn’t have to fight the queer community and straight people for this
#aroace#asexual#aromantic#aspec#ace spec#aro spec#bi#bisexual#aro#ace#pan#pansexual#gay#lesbian#mlm#wlw#aphobia#arophobia#acephobia#queer#lgbtqia#lgbtq community#queer community#yes this post is about yelena belova#my beloved canon aroace character#but it’s not just her#it’s also jughead from riverdale whose ace identity was erased in the show#and it’s about all the aspec characters i don’t know about bcuz of aspec erasure#it’s about all the future aspec characters who will likely have to fight this same battle#gonna take a break from tumblr for my mental health but do reblog this please. representation matters
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