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I wish I wasn’t so damn sad
#actually borderline#actually bpd#borderline personality disorder#borderline problems#borderline things#borderline thoughts#bpd feels#bpd problems#bpd stuff#bpd thoughts#bpd vent#bpd blog#bpd#borderline culture is#living with borderline#borderline pd#being borderline#borderline blog#mentally ill girlies#im mentally ill#mentally unwell#mentally tired#mentally drained#mentally exhausted#mentally unstable#actually mentally ill#mentally fucked#mental illness#i'm sad#sad thoughts
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Missing someone is hard. Missing the idea of someone is even harder.
#you’re not how I remember you#I just know it#you weren’t even how I remember you when you were still in my life#why do I have to idolize everyone I touch#personify them into perfection#and then feel hurt when they are still in fact human#actually borderline#actually bpd#borderline personality disorder#borderline problems#borderline things#borderline thoughts#bpd feels#bpd problems#bpd stuff#bpd thoughts#living with borderline#borderline pd#being borderline#borderline culture is#borderline blog#bpd vent#bpd blog#bpd splitting#bpd fp#bpd#mentally ill girlies#mentally unwell#mentally tired#mentally drained
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I am so……..
physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually,
Uncomfortable
#uncomfortable#actually borderline#actually bpd#borderline personality disorder#borderline problems#borderline things#borderline thoughts#bpd feels#bpd problems#bpd stuff#bpd thoughts#living with borderline#borderline pd#being borderline#borderline culture is#borderline blog#sad thoughts#sadgirl#i'm sad#I’m so tired#I’m so fucking tired#just let me die#su1c1dal#su1c1d4l#mentally ill girlies#im mentally ill#mentally unwell#mentally tired#mentally drained#actually mentally ill
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When will I find the thing that will……. Fix me? How much needless junk do I have to overspend on until it fills the gaping hole in my soul? Will I ever truly be happy?
#actually borderline#actually bpd#borderline personality disorder#borderline problems#borderline things#borderline thoughts#bpd feels#bpd problems#bpd stuff#bpd thoughts#living with borderline#borderline pd#being borderline#borderline culture is#borderline blog#bpd vent#bpd blog#bpd splitting#bpd#late stage capitalism#anti capitalism#fuck capitalism#depressing shit#tw depressing thoughts#tw depressing stuff#sad thoughts#sadgirl#i'm sad#suic1dal#su1c1dal
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The thing is, no one cares how hard you’re trying. They just want you to pass their expectations. Anything less means you’re lazy. What a brutal world we’re living in right now.
#actually borderline#actually bpd#borderline personality disorder#borderline problems#borderline things#borderline thoughts#bpd feels#bpd problems#bpd stuff#bpd thoughts#mental illness#actually mentally ill#mentally fucked#mentally exhausted#mentally unstable#mentally tired#mentally drained#mentally unwell#mentally ill girlies#im mentally ill#being borderline#borderline culture is#living with borderline#borderline blog#borderline pd#chronic fatigue#chronically fatigued#mental fatigue#bpd vent#bpd blog
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“Are you okay?”
“No”
“Are you ever okay?”
“No”
#and then they get mad#because I can’t just get better#actually borderline#actually bpd#borderline personality disorder#borderline problems#borderline things#borderline thoughts#bpd feels#bpd problems#bpd stuff#bpd thoughts#bpd vent#bpd blog#bpd splitting#bpd#living with borderline#borderline culture is#borderline blog#borderline pd#being borderline#mental illness#actually mentally ill#mentally fucked#mentally exhausted#mentally unstable#mentally tired#mentally drained#mentally unwell#mentally ill girlies
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Just let me die just let me die just let me die Just let me die just let me die just let me die Just let me die just let me die just let me die Just let me die just let me die just let me die Just let me die just let me die just let me die Just let me die just let me die just let me die Just let me die just let me die just let me die Just let me die just let me die just let me die Just let me die just let me die just let me die Just let me die just let me die just let me die Just let me die just let me die just let me die Just let me die just let me die just let me di
#actually borderline#actually bpd#borderline personality disorder#borderline problems#borderline things#borderline thoughts#bpd feels#bpd problems#bpd stuff#bpd thoughts#I’m in so much pain#being borderline#borderline pd#borderline culture is#living with borderline#borderline blog#suic1dal#tw sui ideation#suic1de#sewersidal#sewer slide#sewercide#su1c1dal#su1c1d4l#su1c1d3#su1cide
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Everything hurts so damn bad. Why do I have to be here
#actually borderline#actually bpd#borderline personality disorder#borderline problems#borderline things#borderline thoughts#bpd feels#bpd problems#bpd stuff#bpd thoughts#bpd splitting#bpd vent#bpd blog#bpd#living with borderline#borderline blog#borderline culture is#borderline pd#being borderline#sewersidal#sewer slide#sewercide#i’m supposed to be dead by now#tw sui ideation#suic1dal#suic1de#su1c1dal#su1c1d4l#su1c1d3#su1cide
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When you’re honest with someone that you thought you could trust about your agonizing mental disorder, and their answer is “well at least you don’t have…”
Yeah, that fixes everything
#actually borderline#actually bpd#borderline personality disorder#borderline problems#borderline things#borderline thoughts#bpd feels#bpd problems#bpd stuff#bpd thoughts#bpd vent#bpd blog#bpd#bpd splitting#is it still splitting if I barely even thought of her as a friend#well she definitely isn’t one now#ugggg#borderline culture is#living with borderline#borderline blog#borderline pd#being borderline#cluster b#personality disorder#I’m so pissed right now I’m shaking#and there was more that she said to upset me so much#but if I start talking I’ll start cvtting ngl#please can someone end my pain#and she doesn’t even have the disorder she was comparing mine to#she just decided that it’s worse
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Everything just feels like a dream anymore. It feels like I’m going to wake up and find out I’ve been in a coma since the night I took all those pills
#actually borderline#actually bpd#borderline personality disorder#borderline problems#borderline things#borderline thoughts#bpd feels#bpd problems#bpd stuff#bpd thoughts
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All I’m saying is I could be much worse. I should get some credit for how much I hold myself back.
#actually borderline#actually bpd#borderline personality disorder#borderline problems#borderline things#borderline thoughts#bpd feels#bpd problems#bpd stuff#bpd thoughts
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You can’t blame me for my bad choices, I’m not supposed to still be here
#actually borderline#actually bpd#borderline personality disorder#borderline problems#borderline things#borderline thoughts#bpd feels#bpd problems#bpd stuff#bpd thoughts#sewercide#sewersidal#sewer slide#suic1de#tw sui ideation#suic1dal#bpd#bpd blog#bpd vent#I’m supposed to be dead by now#so you can’t blame me for my bad choices
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How do I tell him what I did last night? How do I tell him that I wasn’t supposed to wake up this morning?
#actually bpd#bpd feels#bpd thoughts#bpd problems#bpd stuff#actually borderline#borderline things#borderline problems#borderline thoughts#borderline personality disorder#bpd vent#bpd blog#bpd#suic1de#sewer slide#sewersidal#sewercide
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It feels like, now that I’m out of survival mode, I’m handling things even worse. Like, I’m not really going day to day anymore, and that’s compounding my days, so they’re taking more and more of a toll on me. Anyone else ever feel like that? Hello? Is this thing on??
#disabled#disability#hypermobile eds#hypermobile ehlers danlos#hypermobility#actually bpd#bpd thoughts#bpd problems#bpd feels#bpd stuff#borderline personality disorder#actually borderline#borderline thoughts#borderline problems#borderline things#survival mode#trauma#actually cptsd#maybe I’m still in survival mode and just getting worse#but that’s something I don’t want to admit to myself yet#god I can’t wait for my therapy appointment#burnout#burnt out
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