whosjokerschoker

[whosjokerschoker]

I’m going to start including the original posts as reblogs for context to the chats the Tim, Joker and Harley have then put the joker/tim parts under. That’s why you’ll see a higher part # and user name jasontoddscrowbars (my main) first then the smaller part # and this blog under.

So you’ll see part 48 and part 4 together for example, like on this one:

[whosjokerschoker]

Part four.

(Sister blog stories)

Tim: who the fuck does dishes at four in the morning?!

J snarled in agreement as he half listened to Tim’s story. This was just another normal rant for the kid and they usually never really mattered or went anywhere. He turned the page to the Cosmopolitan magazine as he crossed his legs better, Harley giggling as she applied a fresh layer of hair dye to vibrant up his green and make that statement pop.

Harley: pussy pussy

Tim: he doesn’t again, he ain’t getting no-

J shot a look at Tim. The two narrowed eyes at each other; the seconds ticking as Tim wondered if today he’d take another stab at dirty talk and get scolded by J who didn’t like to hear that from someone who was like a kid to him. As J’s magazine began to lower, his patience weaning as he was in disbelief Tim was testing this again; Tim’s eyes went to shift to it but quickly recovered as they lingered on his.

Tim then clicked his tongue as he fell back in the salons chair and spun.

Tim: he’s such a goody-goody. Doing dishes like that just because he happened to see them and was worried we wouldn’t have any.

Harley: that’s what paper plates are for.

Tim, jabbing his finger at her in excitement: exactly! But he doesn’t have any! He’s an environmentalist and all!

As they continued on, J folded his lips in. Rubbed the lipstick together. Well, if there was one thing, he didn’t have to worry about Tim being taken care of. He’d always have a clean house-

“And then he confessed he took too much melatonin! He thought I got hurt and was too tired to come save me!”

J tossed the magazine aside. As he rose, Harley stepped back shocked but Tim was all grins as he excitedly held onto his knees watching J retrieve his pistol and cock it.

J: let’s go destroy that pussy

Harley and Tim: yay!

Tim: with our cocks!

J:… no…

H a rl ey: ye sss e

Part 48 of cat laser? 🐈‍⬛🔦

Jason’s apartment. Tim had just stirred from a very deep slumber of which even an alien couldn’t shake him awake from. Clark’s tried, he thought Tim had moved on to the next life and tried to shake him back to life.

Tim laid on his back as he stared at the ceiling. Listened to the loud clinks, bangs, water running, steps back and forth. He glanced to the left at the clock on the stand beside the bed. Four in the fucking morning; Jason is washing the damn dishes and cleaning the kitchen at four in the fucking morning.

Tim slowly nodded, threw back the bed sheets as he rose, and shuffled out of the room.

-

Jason returned from doing the dishes. The sink had been full when he’d passed to go feed the cat, and he had realized there would be none clean for the big breakfast he’d planned for Tim to celebrate their first night together in their apartment.

So he cleaned them.

When he crossed the threshold of the room, he was shocked to see the bed empty but figured Tim, with his little bladder, had gone potty. So he crawled across Tim’s side of the bed to the far end and took the chance to steal his share of the sheets back.

He waited. Waited for quite a while. Worried Tim might have an upset belly, or worse, got homesick and bailed. His worry was over shrouded by drowsiness. He shouldn’t have taken too much melatonin but he’d spent the past week staying up all night with Tim or watching him sleep the few chances he did. He NEEDED to sleep so he took more than he should.

He regretted it now. Lesson learned.

As his eyes were feeling heavy and he was being lulled to sleep… THUMP!

He jumped with a start. The first thought was Tim. That something horrible had happened. But a second later another THUMP! It was against the wall across from the bed, the one connected to the living room. The sound was maybe waist high, and it was followed by slight little patters sliding down the wall and a thud as if something landed. Then running on all fours as if it was chasing something towards the center of the apartment. It was quickly diverting back to the wall. Jason anticipated it and… THUMP!

THAT BITCH WAS PLAYING WITH THE CAT AND THE LASER POINTER AND POINTING IT AT THE BEDROOM WALL!

What was this, why the cruelty? Why did he have to be like this? Wait, could it be, was it really, was this some sort of revenge for the dishes? Could he be that petty?

Jason heard little chirping meows which confirmed this and he groaned. Decided not to go out there and entertain Tim this time and fell back into the bed. Instead he took his licking and listened to the cat thumping against the wall as it tried to catch the red dot for the next forty minutes.

Jason, at the Manor half a year later talking to the others: and that’s why we stay here and not at the apartment.

Everyone stared at them. Tim was passed out sprawled across the corner of the sectional in the corner, his head hung back across the cushions with his mouth open as he snored. Jason sat on the edge of his seat as he wore the most serious, deadpanned expression he’s ever worn.

Damian slowly nodded, it turned into a shake of his head: you’ve got to be fucking kidding me.

Dick: this makes so much sense.

Bruce, sobbing: I’m never going to get rid of them.

[whosjokerschoker]

Part three

Joker met Tim before he was a Robin.

He’d been beat up pretty nasty after killing Jason and had been so close to seeing those pearly bright lights of hell… instead he got a flash of a camera and the weight of a twelve year old on his chest.

He had made it to hell, he just didn’t realize it then that this kid would one day change his life forever and never cease to stop terrorizing him.

For better or for worse would be left up to debate depending on circumstances of the person viewing, of course.

J was left for dead, a twelve year old was getting candid shots as if he was a museum master piece while chewing bazooka bubblegum, and the kid had no fucking limits he’d shoved the camera right in the Prince of Gothams face telling him to vogue.

J also knew then that this kid was seriously fucked up in the head and he had some serious potential. This kid might be the only kid in the world J might possibly be able to bear.

He was dead wrong.

Tim: you know

He folded the gum in his mouth. J raised a brow as Tim lowered the camera a bit while he tilted his head. Spread the gum around his tongue before blowing it in a bubble. As it popped J just giggled in disbelief letting his head drop. He hurt like hell.

Tim: you’re not as ugly as I thought you’d be.

J wasn’t sure if he should be shocked, offended or form a praise kink. He felt nothing, he supposed.

J: gee, thanks.

Tim: in fact… you’re kind of-

Tim leaned forward, shoved the camera back in his face. J saw it was expensive, figured it’d take some rich privileged kid who’d never been hurt to run off and taunt a serial killer like him.

Tim: you’re kinda cute.

J flushed red then. This twelve year old did NOT call him cute. J was no pervert. He was a lot of things, but he was not a pervert and no kid was calling him cute.

J, snarling through his teeth: shoo kid, get out of here!

Tim huffed a sigh, dropped the camera letting it roll somewhere sideways as if the photos didn’t even matter which sort of pissed J off.

Tim: actually, you’re not cute. You’re just another lame old man.

The kid shoved up off of J’s chest, shuffled about haphazardly somewhere past J’s feet.

Lame? J was not lame! He was not just another old man! Fuck, he wasn’t even old! This damn brat, when he gets better J is gunna find him and ki-

Tim: I’m gunna become a Robin.

J fell still. A Robin. This kid thinks he can become a Robin? Jason just died, there’s no way in hell Batman’s taking in another Robin! But then… this kid might be able to do it. He slipped in past Batman when he was leaving, was able to catch J off guard and has been tormenting him a good ten minutes.

This kid might be able to do it.

J: ha- ha ha, shit, ha ha ha- a Robin-

This kid might have use yet.

[whosjokerschoker]

Trying out the new uniform:

Tim goes to Joker for everything. He doesn’t trust his family to tell him the complete truth even if they are doing it with good intentions and he knows J will always, always be straight with him. Unless he isn’t.

J’s sexuality is questionable depending on whether Bruce is in the room or not.

Harley told him it was the protection his parents should have worn so the world didn’t have to suffer his ugliness. Tim retorted that he wears it now so that his beauty is protected from the world’s ugliness. J finalized they should both wear one so that he doesn’t have to see either of their faces.

[whosjokerschoker]

Part two

Joker enjoyed the finer things in life when he didn’t have to keep his agenda. There weren’t many moments for these occasions, but his favorite thing to do when he was able to relax was soak in one of his deep baths in one of his safe houses.

Exhaling, he sunk down into the tub, lowered so that his nose just hovered over the water. Shut his eyes, lowered his senses as best he could but it was never possible to entirely do it since he was always on edge.

Life was good.

Until it wasn’t.

He groaned as Tim was grabbing the edge of the toilet, tilting back on it as if he were riding it. J didn’t bother opening his eyes, maybe if he didn’t the runt would go away.

Tim: you’ll never guess what fucking happened.

J kept to his vow of silence.

Tim: I was trying to do what you told me. Had taken my shower, had gone down to relax and it was working. I was on track to get a good nights sleep and all.

Huh, well that’s good, J supposed.

Tim: and then Clark flung a pair of his fucking poop stained underwear at me!

J shot up snorting, got an inhale of the water he’d been hovering over through his nose as he did and choked. Tim just grinned as he watched J half wheeze with laughter, half hack with suffering. J turned grabbing the edge of the ceramic tub as he leaned over, hung across the edge as he caught his breath giving a final few hysteric chuckles.

J: his, he-hee, his poopy underwear?

Tim rolled his eyes.

Tim: stained, it wasn’t fresh. But yes. Apparently Damian’s dog had snatched it from the laundry and he didn’t want it to be seen. There’s a video online- here.

As Tim showed J the video Kon took of the dispute over whose undies they were, then the struggle to escape the flying underwear when Tim flung them into the air in revenge; well J was bawling. He had never felt so damn proud to witness Bruce Wayne have some not so tightie whities land on his head. It had come at a sacrifice at Tim’s own self but it was entirely worth it. The best things often were.

J: how’d you know it was him?

Tim shrugged: I hid in their rooms rafters and waited for the confession.

J: but why theirs? Why not the others?

Tim sneered: because Clark had been the one acting the most suspicious. He blamed a pig. The way Damian looked at him in betrayal when he had. When I’d called everyone out he had avoided down to the pair I held.

J: just by that?

Tim: well, usually that would be enough. But he also had his name written on them.

Og post from Wayne’s POV:

[whosjokerschoker]

Part one

Tim and J have an unusual love hate relationship. Tim is psychotic and sociopathic and while his family grounds him he needs someone who can understand him and relate to him, which he shockingly found that in J one day when he was having a hysterical breakdown in the middle of a patrol and J felt an unusual empathetic tug to help him.

He immediately wished afterwards he wouldn’t because Tim was stuck to him like glue afterwards, sneaking out at all odd hours to confide in him, tell him all the things that come across his mind and secrets he’s done.

Some amuse J but other times J is in a mood just like anyone else and just wants to be the fuck alone. It doesn’t help that batdaddy knows about it and is constantly trying to find them, as well as Tim’s husband, the vengeful crime lord Jason.

On such one particular night, J shoves his head into a pillow as he tries to get some sleep for once in his life.

Tim pops up from nowhere like the damn bastard child he is.

Tim: do you wanna cause hell and anarchy

J: No I just want you to fucking get away from me.