diarychocolate-and-spices

[diarychocolate-and-spices]

No title.

"Your...your leaving...?" Grim said softly, he wanted you to stay more. So you and him could be the best mages ever. Mostly him of course..

"I'm sorry, I still love you my sweet little Grim."

"But- but i wanted you to stay..." Grim stammered, tears pricking at his blue fiery eyes. Please, pleass dont go.

Don't leave him behind. Please. Please? Please...

"My home is there..." but what about him?

"Ace can take care of you..." but he'll miss you, your his parent... right? He never knew a parents love. But if it felt warm, just like how you hold him, then he wants it. Parents love, a mama's hug and a father's guidance. Grim never felt it, he still growing, won't you stay?

You see that mirror? Yeah, you stepped in it while he called for you. Not your name, not henchman, but he referred to you as his parent. His mom. His dad. His guardian. Anything.

You took care of him, and he remembers it. Please stay. Please.

He saw the tears in your eyes, it was there. Pricking at your eyes. Just like his, but his stomach was empty. Just like the space you've left at Ramshackle's.

Please come back. Ace and Deuce misses you, too.

He wants you to visit.

"Whaaa! I passed the test!" Grim cheered, and ran back to Ramshackle's.

"Henchman- Oh." Grim pauses. He remembered.

You weren't there anymore. Neither would you pick up those calls on the telephone when someone misses you.

He remembered, you no longer held the title henchman. Because you're gone.

A/n: I hope Grim's pitchfork tail stabbed and twisted your heart several times by the way !!! 🥰🥰

[diarychocolate-and-spices]

I love you too 🫶🫶

How about I throw a dagger to your heart instead of a brick then we'll get married?/j

Mama, look at me?

"I was so young to be 25, and now I've found I've grown into a tall child."

A/n: im going to hurt all of you, if I'm going down, your coming with me. (And im signaling this to the x reader fans. You are coming along, posting is an option🫶)

Riddle gazed upon the freshmen that stood in front of him, his eyes brimming with rage and unspoken grievences of hurt. Why, could they think they have it better than him? In an easy way, while he suffered all for his mother's approval? There were no alternative way! There were no alternative ways to make his mother proud!

If there was, what was the point in going through all this!? Why...

Why won't you look, mama?

He waited for so long, he waited for his mother to look at him, please mama...

Please look at him.

He hated all this! Why, if he sacrificed his childhood, if he could even call it one, couldn't achieve one dream he can't reach!? Why can he not achieve his mother's love!? No matter how much work he had done in his past, all he was met with was expectations and criticism,

Instead of mama's love.

That spark of joy was never meant for him, all he could do was write down, but if he were to express; no matter how many times he had written his feelings over and over again, it wouldn't be enough to descibe the love he yearned for. It was far away, it was in front of him, he was close to holding it, until his mama took it away.

Mama, he's sorry. Please don't take away what made him happy, he promises he won't smile like that again.

He wanted to cry, but it was stuck. His eyes wouldn't open the tears his mind drowns in, his heart is closed despite its insides bleeding from his mother's burning gaze, his body wanted to break down from the amount of notes he had written, studies he had taken, he wanted to shut down.

Because that's all he ever knew, right? His work, his excellency, his top grades, his achievements, everything had been shut down, and by whom?

Mama. Mom. Mother.

He wished he could call mother 'his mama'. But, would it mean anything to her?

He loves his mama, not his mother.

Look, mama. He's just like you. He's smart, he's intelligent like mama.

But he's not as good with showing how much his knowledge hurts him.

Mama, he knows too. But your hiding as his mother, when will you show up and say 'sorry'?

Mama, Riddle misses you.

Mother, won't you look at him?

He misses 'mama' not 'Mother'.

Notice how Riddle keeps calling out mama but differentiates "Mother"? Yeah, he doesn't recognize that "Mother" as his mama.

Notice how he said he almost held happiness? Yeah, that's when Trey introduced tarts. >:) no comfort. Mother took that away too.

[diarychocolate-and-spices]

Good morning, how was your sleep? Did you dream of an alternatuve universe where Riddle's mom actually had the ability to show her love properly to her own son instead of making him look like a trophy to achieve? 😊🫶

Don't worry, I made sure to have sharpened the brick before throwing it!!

Notice how Riddle experienced the bliss of happiness only in one day.

Mama, look at me?

"I was so young to be 25, and now I've found I've grown into a tall child."

A/n: im going to hurt all of you, if I'm going down, your coming with me. (And im signaling this to the x reader fans. You are coming along, posting is an option🫶)

Riddle gazed upon the freshmen that stood in front of him, his eyes brimming with rage and unspoken grievences of hurt. Why, could they think they have it better than him? In an easy way, while he suffered all for his mother's approval? There were no alternative way! There were no alternative ways to make his mother proud!

If there was, what was the point in going through all this!? Why...

Why won't you look, mama?

He waited for so long, he waited for his mother to look at him, please mama...

Please look at him.

He hated all this! Why, if he sacrificed his childhood, if he could even call it one, couldn't achieve one dream he can't reach!? Why can he not achieve his mother's love!? No matter how much work he had done in his past, all he was met with was expectations and criticism,

Instead of mama's love.

That spark of joy was never meant for him, all he could do was write down, but if he were to express; no matter how many times he had written his feelings over and over again, it wouldn't be enough to descibe the love he yearned for. It was far away, it was in front of him, he was close to holding it, until his mama took it away.

Mama, he's sorry. Please don't take away what made him happy, he promises he won't smile like that again.

He wanted to cry, but it was stuck. His eyes wouldn't open the tears his mind drowns in, his heart is closed despite its insides bleeding from his mother's burning gaze, his body wanted to break down from the amount of notes he had written, studies he had taken, he wanted to shut down.

Because that's all he ever knew, right? His work, his excellency, his top grades, his achievements, everything had been shut down, and by whom?

Mama. Mom. Mother.

He wished he could call mother 'his mama'. But, would it mean anything to her?

He loves his mama, not his mother.

Look, mama. He's just like you. He's smart, he's intelligent like mama.

But he's not as good with showing how much his knowledge hurts him.

Mama, he knows too. But your hiding as his mother, when will you show up and say 'sorry'?

Mama, Riddle misses you.

Mother, won't you look at him?

He misses 'mama' not 'Mother'.

Notice how Riddle keeps calling out mama but differentiates "Mother"? Yeah, he doesn't recognize that "Mother" as his mama.

Notice how he said he almost held happiness? Yeah, that's when Trey introduced tarts. >:) no comfort. Mother took that away too.

[diarychocolate-and-spices]

Mama, look at me?

"I was so young to be 25, and now I've found I've grown into a tall child."

A/n: im going to hurt all of you, if I'm going down, your coming with me. (And im signaling this to the x reader fans. You are coming along, posting is an option🫶)

Riddle gazed upon the freshmen that stood in front of him, his eyes brimming with rage and unspoken grievences of hurt. Why, could they think they have it better than him? In an easy way, while he suffered all for his mother's approval? There were no alternative way! There were no alternative ways to make his mother proud!

If there was, what was the point in going through all this!? Why...

Why won't you look, mama?

He waited for so long, he waited for his mother to look at him, please mama...

Please look at him.

He hated all this! Why, if he sacrificed his childhood, if he could even call it one, couldn't achieve one dream he can't reach!? Why can he not achieve his mother's love!? No matter how much work he had done in his past, all he was met with was expectations and criticism,

Instead of mama's love.

That spark of joy was never meant for him, all he could do was write down, but if he were to express; no matter how many times he had written his feelings over and over again, it wouldn't be enough to descibe the love he yearned for. It was far away, it was in front of him, he was close to holding it, until his mama took it away.

Mama, he's sorry. Please don't take away what made him happy, he promises he won't smile like that again.

He wanted to cry, but it was stuck. His eyes wouldn't open the tears his mind drowns in, his heart is closed despite its insides bleeding from his mother's burning gaze, his body wanted to break down from the amount of notes he had written, studies he had taken, he wanted to shut down.

Because that's all he ever knew, right? His work, his excellency, his top grades, his achievements, everything had been shut down, and by whom?

Mama. Mom. Mother.

He wished he could call mother 'his mama'. But, would it mean anything to her?

He loves his mama, not his mother.

Look, mama. He's just like you. He's smart, he's intelligent like mama.

But he's not as good with showing how much his knowledge hurts him.

Mama, he knows too. But your hiding as his mother, when will you show up and say 'sorry'?

Mama, Riddle misses you.

Mother, won't you look at him?

He misses 'mama' not 'Mother'.

Notice how Riddle keeps calling out mama but differentiates "Mother"? Yeah, he doesn't recognize that "Mother" as his mama.

Notice how he said he almost held happiness? Yeah, that's when Trey introduced tarts. >:) no comfort. Mother took that away too.

[diarychocolate-and-spices]

I dont know what this meant until i translated it;

Im literalfy wheezicng rn- yes, my mother knows, even she cried when the day I was born (she knew I was going to be disastrous-)

[diarychocolate-and-spices]

You, my dear angst followers, are invited to my baby brother's birthday!! Happy birthday "Solar Estre" !!! 🩷🪽

Aw man, June 9th... happy birthday baby brother !!!!🪦🪽 I miss you.

The date of your birth and death, I'm sorry.

Fia stands in front of a stone carved with a name, "Solar Estre". The picture on top of the shaped stone was a picture of a little brother who looked no younger than 1 years old. A baby with chubby cheeks and bright smiles, once a lively bundle of joy. Her joy. She places purple hyacinths, black roses, white lilies, and sunflowers on his tombstone. The grave had a cherub angel carved beside his name.

"I miss you, little one."

Tears welled-up in the older one's eyes. Regretting the day she had to leave to study, wishing she had stayed. The older sibling felt like a terrible sister, never having enough time for her little brother. She wished she had more time spent with him. Oh, dear Solar Estre, how I longed to see my baby boy smile again.

That night, she cried at the arms of the smaller bat fae. The amount of despair she held was unbearable.

I wished I never left you that day.

[diarychocolate-and-spices]

Yes 😊

Oh, My Dear Grim.

Henchuman, the great Grim misses you. He had been taken care of by Ace, and look where it got him! A mage, without his main henchuman. You were his first, and you'll be the last. You were the best Henchuman a great mage like Grim could ever have! And look! We both made it into the histories! "The magicless human and their fellow direbeast companion, The great Grim"! It's about our adventure together! And the friends we've made along the way, until the day you left and stepped back into your home.

The Great Grim misses you. Very much.

Grim still goes to that old dorm where both of you first met. The same dorm you took care of when we both still resided in it. Making it more lively. And our adventures together, making friends with each dorm, and they were super cool! And powerful! Like the great Grim! He wishes he could show you that you were remembered in this school. He was so happy when he found out you both really made it down in history.

But he'll always remember, you've already left before you saw your little Grim grow.

To my dear, Yuu.

[diarychocolate-and-spices]

Heh....

Wait until you see the MC's pov😍

Oh, My Dear Grim.

Henchuman, the great Grim misses you. He had been taken care of by Ace, and look where it got him! A mage, without his main henchuman. You were his first, and you'll be the last. You were the best Henchuman a great mage like Grim could ever have! And look! We both made it into the histories! "The magicless human and their fellow direbeast companion, The great Grim"! It's about our adventure together! And the friends we've made along the way, until the day you left and stepped back into your home.

The Great Grim misses you. Very much.

Grim still goes to that old dorm where both of you first met. The same dorm you took care of when we both still resided in it. Making it more lively. And our adventures together, making friends with each dorm, and they were super cool! And powerful! Like the great Grim! He wishes he could show you that you were remembered in this school. He was so happy when he found out you both really made it down in history.

But he'll always remember, you've already left before you saw your little Grim grow.

To my dear, Yuu.

[diarychocolate-and-spices]

Hey, how are you?

Hi, prefect. It's me, Deuce. I know you won't see this, but it's fine. He doesn't really mind at all! So long as he can write something for you, even if your not there to read it. Look, he wished he could show you where he is right now but... he's married, and it's not you. Though, he wished it was. He misses you, how can you blame him? He wanted to see you again. Even if it meant leaving this world just to see your face. He even made sure to get your favorite chocolate! But he knows you aren't here.

He missed you, why aren't you coming back? Why won't you come back? It isn't fair. When the universe gives you someone that understands you and actually had the love you thought you'd never expect nor anticipated, it had to be someone who's very far away from where you stood. It hurts saying your name and hearing it, you know? Why you gotta do that? The worming your way through hearts and becoming someone special, huh? You do know it's going to hurt both of us in the end, right? Why, he remembered it like yesterday, when you smiled at him, telling him you were proud of his work and how he had come so far. You didn't know that would hurt him in the end, it meant so much to him.

So, if only he could look or speak with you for one last time...

If you were here he'd hug you, kiss you, cuddle your nights away with him, wake up together, make breakfast and eat together, go out together, doing little things together, walking in the park, chatting with our friends to catch up on the latest things that happened recently, night strolls, small moments where you two would bond in the house with children or a dog, or both.

If you were here, would you know how much he'd kiss you?

So much, that it'll overwhelm you, he misses you too much. That sunrise, that time when both of you were watching the sunrise with it's beautiful hues coloring the sky like warm milk in a cold night, like fresh, quiet, peaceful air breezing through both Deuce and your hair, those times were great memories in his 1st year.

Until it wasn't.

When that time you had to leave? All those memories became painful, almost hurtful to remember. But, it was always the same, nithing stays forever. Same thing, different meaning.

Now? He watches the sunrise alone, sometimes with his spouse, but mostly, alone. He doesn't know why he married the spouse he has right now, maybe he wanted to settle down? I mean, you said you wanted to see him grow, and so he did. He hopes your happy, in what ever you could be doing in your world. Maybe you've settled down as well? He doesn't know, but he hopes you're doing your best. Are you? He wishes he was beside you, seeing you grow as well.

But that won't happen, right?

Because now, he's with someone else, and you?

You might've forgotten about him already.

A tear rolls down his cheek as he signs off the letter, sending it to the headmaster's office so it could be kept in Ramshackle's.

-Signed, Deuce Spade.

[diarychocolate-and-spices]

"You've opened my heart... what do you see?"

My Collections of Colored Hearts.

Small drabble <- Deuce Spade

Another small drabble <- Ace Trappola

Oh, my dear Grim. [Note from Grim]

Another one? <- Cater Diamond [Note from Cater]

Hey, how are you? <- Deuce Spade [Note from Deuce]

Mama, look at him? <- Riddle Rosehearts

No title. <- Grim

"This, is someone I used to know."

☆Oc things...☆

"Fia Rodriguez" and Tyron's relationship concept

[diarychocolate-and-spices]

Sorry, sorry!!! I didn't mean to throw a fridge at you in the morning!!! ☹️☹️....

Wanna see more?

Oh, My Dear Grim.

Henchuman, the great Grim misses you. He had been taken care of by Ace, and look where it got him! A mage, without his main henchuman. You were his first, and you'll be the last. You were the best Henchuman a great mage like Grim could ever have! And look! We both made it into the histories! "The magicless human and their fellow direbeast companion, The great Grim"! It's about our adventure together! And the friends we've made along the way, until the day you left and stepped back into your home.

The Great Grim misses you. Very much.

Grim still goes to that old dorm where both of you first met. The same dorm you took care of when we both still resided in it. Making it more lively. And our adventures together, making friends with each dorm, and they were super cool! And powerful! Like the great Grim! He wishes he could show you that you were remembered in this school. He was so happy when he found out you both really made it down in history.

But he'll always remember, you've already left before you saw your little Grim grow.

To my dear, Yuu.

[diarychocolate-and-spices]

Another one?

Hey, he's not sure if you'll ever see this but, he misses you. Actually? From the start when Ace, Deuce, and your weird but cool looking fire cat companion came to the rose gardens while he was painting, he couldn't help but be fascinated by you. He, was actually intrigued when he first met you. But now? You were someone terrifying. Not because of anything like that! No! He meant...

You became irreplacable. Truly. And that alone, scares him. Why?

Why did you have to come into his life uninvited, give him meaningful memories, give him colors in his life, brighten his day, smile at him so beautifully it terrifies him, take selfies with him, reassure him you wouldn't judge him even if he didn't want the cute aesthetics, stayed with him during his darkest hours, help him get through life, gave him a purpose to live, make him fall for you, love you unconditionally to the point it is actually horrifying on how serious it is, helped all of the others in a admirable way, being so effortlessly charming to him and the others, made everything around you bloom like spring, and lastly...

Just leave without warning?

You can't do that. Not when you had everyone attached to you. Why, prefect? You were perfect. So perfect, it was out of his league. He never thought he deserved it, but you proved him otherwise. You were beautiful, it hurted to see you with another who's not even him. But he persisted, and let his guard down. He was frustrated.

He was frustrated at himself, frustrated at you, and frustrated he forgot you didn't belong here.

He misses you so much it hurts his heart physically. He can't stop looking at that dilapidated dorm over and over again without tears welling up in his eyes. Why? Why did you leave them? Why did you leave him?

He misses you badly, it is a shame he even saw a future with you in it. Now it is the future without you in it. And it hurts.

The sun was setting, the skies gave a somber orange-blue hues in the top of where he stood. At the edge of the cliff, admiring the view where you both once stood back at NRC. Just you and him.

The sky was the same in that one photo the both of you took years ago back in his college days as a 3rd year. He misses you, the sky reminds him of you. He loved you.

He looked at the old photo one last time, you smiled in that photo, so brightly, with Grim on your shoulders, you made your own light, and you shed that light unto others in this school whom suffered.

In the end, you saved everyone and returned.

But you broke their hearts unknowingly.

Maybe you knew it would be a sad outcome for them, maybe you didn't and went home thinking you'll be the only one who misses this place. You've made friends that adored you unconditionally. They all loved you. He loves you.

And he... he wished he was more honest with you, spent more time with you, and confessed when he had the chance.

But he'll never know now, because your gone. Maybe you grew up and made a family, or, if possible, had a different timeline where both you and him were together.

You were his dearest, prefect.

He'll love you, even if it hurts in the coming of his years.

- Signed, Cater Diamond.

[diarychocolate-and-spices]

Oh, My Dear Grim.

Henchuman, the great Grim misses you. He had been taken care of by Ace, and look where it got him! A mage, without his main henchuman. You were his first, and you'll be the last. You were the best Henchuman a great mage like Grim could ever have! And look! We both made it into the histories! "The magicless human and their fellow direbeast companion, The great Grim"! It's about our adventure together! And the friends we've made along the way, until the day you left and stepped back into your home.

The Great Grim misses you. Very much.

Grim still goes to that old dorm where both of you first met. The same dorm you took care of when we both still resided in it. Making it more lively. And our adventures together, making friends with each dorm, and they were super cool! And powerful! Like the great Grim! He wishes he could show you that you were remembered in this school. He was so happy when he found out you both really made it down in history.

But he'll always remember, you've already left before you saw your little Grim grow.

To my dear, Yuu.

[diarychocolate-and-spices]

Another drabble I've been thinking about...

Ace stood at the front of Ramshackle. He was always known to be blunt, but even if he was honest to others, why wasn't he honest to himself? He should've had the guts to tell you his full truth. He should've..

Hey, remember that time when you both first met? Yeah, he was such a jerk to you, and that changed, you both became friends.

Remember that time when you both went to the Dwarves mine? It was pretty hectic. Oh, and that time where you both celebrated after you became an official student of NRC? Fun.

And that time where you sent him to sleep on the couch? Pretty mean of you, prefect. But he likes you so, it didn't matter. And that time he got into an argument with deuce? Oh, and that time where he punched Riddle for insulting you? And when he wanted to help you for your investigation in the spelldrive incident? And, when he wanted you to help him get rid of the contracts? Yeah, you were smart and a bit stupid for disturbing Leona like that. But he admired it, when you'd do anything for your friends.

And that time where he panicked when you sent an "SOS" text? He never felt so scared to lose somebody. But, it wasn't just a somebody, it was you. His Ramshackle Prefect. You were someone important to him. He can't afford to lose someone close to him. He was glad when he found you safe, he thought he was late. Oh, that time was the day he recognized those feelings.

Love.

Something serious, something to be committed for, a long-lifetime relationship. He was scared. Not because you'll reject him, no.

You'll leave him. Alone.

Every adventure you both went together even to the last, it was fun. He wished he could've grown old with you. Not date for a short while for fun. But to actually experience being with someone until death do him apart. He wished he could've gone back in time and told you sooner. If he said he loved you, would you stay?

He looks at the now abandoned dorm. Truly gone, it's owner had left. He's taking care of Grim now.

"I wished I told you that I loved you." He'd say to the empty bedroom of your dorm, "If I did, do you even love me enough to stay with me?" That is what he will never say.

He wishes he could've given you a goodbye kiss if you'll allow him.

The Ace of Hearts misses you, therefore his heart will feel incomplete without his dear prefect, that gave so much love to all.

When will you come back?

To my dearest, Yuu.

[diarychocolate-and-spices]

Small drabble...

"Thank you, [Name]. For everything, I hope that you see this, I've been a good student and I'm close to being a model student! Even if you're not here, I'll do my best. So, I hope you believe in me! So... if you can hear me on the other side of this mirror... I wished I spent more time with you. And I wish I had more time to show you how good I've been lately, and I... I wished I said 'I love you' sooner... I love you, [Name]." Said the Spade, he wished he had more time with you.

Now, he stands in front of the mirror where the mysterious soul entered, and never came back.

Goodbye, Ramshackle Prefect.

It now has been years since you've left.

[diarychocolate-and-spices]

"Fia Rodriguez" and Tyron's relationship.

Okay for a little more context, the background of "Fia Rodriguez" isn't completely detailed, it's meant to be vague since she's describing it in a way where she 'remembers' it in a way. So, for the people that are confused about WHAT I've missed in here... it's the dynamic. [P.S. Not to mention the Yuume introduction is an AU. So, to clear it up, "Fia Rodriguez"'s actual storyline wasn't meant to fall into Twisted Wonderland but was never meant to be in it. This one, though? This is JUST the rundown of the ORIGINAL relationship between "Fia" and Tyron. [Another side note, this concept also belongs to my self-indulgent fic "I Want To Love, But I'm Afraid It'll End Badly." So be warned... there is A LOT of dark themes in here [<-bc it's literally the original timeline/storyline] this is not meant to trigger anyone, if you have experienced this, then reach for help. This is just my writings and I don't want anyone to feel targeted, it's for my Indulgence.

The fic from my main account is a reference to this relation concept with many, many, dark themes. [<-feel free to comment on your thoughts about this !!! Whenever you'd like, of course.]

I'm going to sprinkle in some of Ty's fam, so feel free to hate on them, too. 🙏🪽 [the wings have a reason to be in my blog all the time]

•to start off, "Fia" and Tyron met at the age of 8? 7? Ah, wait, no scratch that- 8. These two were strangers in the same household (babysitter) and basically for context- they weren't allowed to live alone in the house by themselves, of course, they're children so why not drop them off to a babysitter that totally has nothing to do with making traumatizing connections with other kids in the foreshadowing future?

•Now right off the bat when they started talking together the adults ships them, and this is where "Fia" develops a crush on him, of course, nothing too big of a crush. But just enough to follow him around like a lost puppy. For "Fia" it was just a small convenience that she was inlove with Tyron, for Tyron on the other hand, had suspicions. That is, until the (mentioned before) accidental confession arrived. Confirming his suspicions.

•Now, I'm not saying it quickly escalated, but in a way where it slowly gets creepy. The way he'd touch her specifically, complimenting something about her even when she didn't tell him, and lastly VERY touchy, just touchy with creepy words. That made her vomit. And immediately lose interest in him.

•Okay so, at first he thought since she's a girl with a crush on him, he could get away with being overly affectionate [<-creepy]. The thing is, is that she already lost her feelings from the accidental confession. It was embarrassing for her, so she dropped it and called it a day.

•At 9 she was bullied by him after she rejected him multiple times and saying "no" which made it very clear she didn't have feelings for him anymore. She was harassed.

•At 10 everything got worse from then on, he'd call his friends to 'jump' on her and tore her fabrics away [<-yes she wanted to be a fashion designer, but guess who shattered that dream 😒] insulting and berating her designing skills which made her stop.

•When they were 11, she started TRYING to be nice. Practicing to be patient, loving, caring, and a person with good traits. Of course, not without bad traits, she's not meant to be flawless. Oh, but in comes Ty with his group, gnawing away at every personality she takes up, which annoys her. She could use her ability, if only she was street smart, then she could out-wit Tyron in a fight. But she couldn't since she was mostly isolated in home and had barely any knowledge from the outside world besides it's problems. So, she slightly gets irritated whenever someone presses on her for more answers, questioning her to squeeze out info on her, she'd turn them away with an irritated glare and a mockingly polite smile. This persona is slightly damaged, but nothing her abilities can't fix. So abruptly, the day Tyron had left to go to another country, was the day she felt the most proud.

•in 12 "Fia" succeeded in school [slightly] but made friends along the way, which made her proud of herself. Placing aside her insecurities and worries she was free for a bit. Letting herself be free as she writes down poems and draws her imagination to reality, creating life into their stories, the story she values most. The Butterfly Effect. A story with stories. A story about countless, endless amount of stories from different people, and characters in the same timeline, past, future, and present. And poems to express her feelings, desires, wishes, and everything she could possibly dream of.

Until. He. Came. Back.

•Fast-forward to being a teen [<-yes this is original timeline, we'll get to the TWST timeline later] around 13-14 years old, she gained feelings for him AGAIN [because she thought he had changed, apparently, he has not]. Despite his creepy attitude [<-and maybe almost developing a Stockholm Syndrome?] He, on the other, kept pestering her to date him. Until she did [blackmailed with family bankruptcy]. But their relationship was HORRIBLE.

•You see, Fia does the "nice girlfriend" trope, you know, like a loyal girlfriend should do. She wouldn't yell or hurt him, she was more of a docile girlfriend. But other times, they'd yell at each other in their 'shared home' mostly an apartment they both visit bc their parents are "good friends" [acquaintances]. He'd yell, hit, and throw objects at her. That'd make her shut up, and give a meek 'sorry..' and back away from the argument. But sometimes, he'd not stop from his actions and continue, which he does when no one's looking. Her older siblings doesn't take notice nor do they believe her. All she has is to complain to her friends or online. But that was taken away from her.

•She was humiliated in the halls, where his friends came by to pull down her garments in front of the public, making her squeal out of embarrassment and covering herself and her fallen garment. Her friends shielding her from the onlookers that wanted to see a piece of her. Another was a time where she was humiliated on stage, dumped cold water on her in the middle of her public speech and made an embarrassing noise. He and his friends laughed. Another argument ensued.

"Why are you always doing this to me!? I'm your girlfriend for fuck's sake!" She'd yell, then she gets hit with a slap, "You don't deserve to have the rights to even talk back." He'll say coolly, no regard for her feelings, completely discarded. "And, if you can't get that inside your head, then I'll make you."

Warnings up ahead!

He'd drag her to the basement, get chained up (where'd he get that?) Grabs a whip, lashing at her back one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight times or twenty until she submits to his whims. The blood from her back and lines of red drips down to the floor stained red. She'd cry and scream begged for mercy and pleaded for him to stop. He'd tie a cloth around her mouth to shut up, cuts on her left arm were carved with shapes and painstakingly taken their great time to carve into her skin, enough to touch the muscles underneath. Her eyes rimmed in red cracks and overflowing tears, mouth soar and dry from the constant wailing and screaming. She'd beg for all she wants, but no one will hear her. Not when her mouth can make muffled noises and quiet sobs. He'd take a burning rod and draw burning marks on her skin at the back, carving to what it's supposed to look like, an Angel's wing.

He'd carve the Angel wings with great care as the burns sizzle on her skin burning her fragile flesh, carving onto her back on what she loved most. Wings of freedom. Her eyes slowly dulling over as she starts feeling numb all over, the burn feeling like a warm press on a cold summer. Her head feels light and empty, blank with no thoughts left but 'help me' she'd chant in her mind, over and over again like a mantra. Her legs wouldn't move a muscle after the trauma backlash [literally], she stays in the place while her ankle, chained by the iron chains that lock tightly and painfully on her ankle, shine in sadistic gleam. The light in her eyes finally dimming over, clouding her last shrouded hope. He'd approach her and kiss her on her sullied lips of blood. "There, your perfect now." He'd say patronizingly. That sadistic streak he has knows no bounds. Her eyes contains a now hollowed out vessel of the spirit of what the girl once was. The feeling of pain too physical to bear, blood pools over her. She's not dead, unfortunately. And He'd pick her up bridal style to wash off the blood, making sure the family isn't around (they were somewhere else instead), and bath her. The water slowly turning into the color of crimson, but he treats the wounds after. The numbed girl's body wouldn't work until tomorrow, she'd wish for her family to at least notice her condition. But, she knows he'll make up some stupid excuse that they'll somehow believe more than the injuries he'd cause, or maybe they just don't want to deal with her at all?

Back to conceptual hc !![which r canon]

•After all, she wouldn't speak back to him. Only a polite nod, or a smile, 'Yes' or 'No', 'maybe', or just short and simple sentences. She'd gain a ton of health problems, first would be anemia due to the amount of blood loss she has from receiving punishments. She'd cope through daydreaming, which causes her to develop maladaptive daydreaming. She'd have a hard time focusing in her lessons due to her inability to concentrate. She'd stim by fidgeting her hair strands or tapping on the table, pen, paper, whiteboard, or keyboards. She'd zone out from time to time until she hears Tyron's footsteps, it's like she had gained a sixth sense for Tyron, specifically his entire family as well. So, the bloodline in his family doesn't run too far from the tree, they are all secret sadist inside. He has a father and a step-mother. Whilst his mother had married another man, bringing his brother along with her.

•She'd sing, he'd tell her to shut up because it's annoying. So, she listens to music. She'd talk a lot, he'd tell her to shut up because no one wanted to hear it. So, she likes listening and being ordered to do something before she cries out of frustration at doing nothing. She'll dance, and he'll tell her to stop, she looks like a clown. So, she'll only do poems and art while admiring the dancers and watching their talents grow and flourish. She'd be affectionate and loving, open to PDA. But he'd say it's embarrassing and slaps her hands away whenever she gets too close to him. So she won't be open to love anymore.

•Overall, whatever she did before was stopped and downgraded by Ty, and it'd hurt. The moment he told her to stop singing, stop painting, stop with her expressions of art, her world turned impossibly dull. Black, grey, white. The only thing that was kept colorful was her room, with the slight light greyish pinks, whites, and faded-out gold slightly turning into a light yellow shine, almost blending in with the white pillars of her balcony. Her arts and crafts from poems, sonnets, soliloquies, Balleds, Acrostics, and Limericks were discarded. Only writing in Elegy. She couldn't think creatively anymore. Not when she had lost the only things that kept her 'human'.

•the punishments were fine for her, anything was. If only she could keep what felt like her human self. She didn't want to feel like she had lost the things that kept her going. Her poems, the ones she'd been most proud of, were stored in her pastel pink box, on top of the cover of the box was a ribbon designed for her aesthetics. Her room gave off the angelic pink vibes she had always dreamt of. But it never stopped her from getting hurt repeatedly.

•So she comes back to school again, her friends telling her to break up with him already. She thought about it, and considered giving it a try.

•Imagine to your surprise, Tyron's obsessive brother was there, listening.

•he'd approach her the day that she'd end the relationship with his brother. Telling her to meet up with him in a private classroom since it's urgent regarding his mother.

•She'd agree and follow up the required schedule for her. Not knowing what he has in plan.

•She hated this day, when she was 15.

Warnings up ahead, scroll away to skip this part !!

She had closed the classroom door, cautiously. "Is there anything you'd like to tell me?" "Yes, it's about my mom, you see... she told me to do a 'video' for her since she's in a hospital bed right now... and I heard you like helping others, right? So, I've come to ask if it's alright with you to make a video with me. I just wanna name it a "farewell, warm soul" just in case she passes away or is near her death bed, at least..." he said, with a stupidly amount of pity in his eyes.

Knowing her, she's weak to those who plead for help. So she'd agree, naturally. The camera on his phone started a 30 seconds countdown, she wonders what type of 'farewell' she'll be doing.

*Click, click, the door locks.*

"Oh, sorry... I just feel a little shy from making a video with someone, I hope you don't mind." "Hmm? I mean it's alright- GWA!-" abruptly cut off from her voice, the sudden force on her back made her fall face-first. She fell into the sight of the camera that counted down. She was pinned to the floor, helpless. No use in fighting back, she had no defenses. She was helpless. Hopeless. She fell for a trick she never saw coming, she didn't know better, but she wished she did. She knew how to know a bad man, the knowledge to know when to stay away and keep a safe distance from a man that gave off vibes from them, but did she have enough knowledge about the signs? What was the point of these fast-racing thoughts when she heard her clothes torn off from her skin, over and over and over again? The screaming, the pain, defiled. She had not known the pain, but she wished she could've had an alternative to save herself. She didn't know what else to feel when he whispered, "Love" "Honey" "Sweet" "Delicate" and "Angel". All her favorite sweet words falling from a monster's tongue of lies, what could she do now? The bleeding between her legs, felt like her soul was pouring out of her body. He let himself enter. She cried out not from euphoria, but from pain and fear. He enjoyed bliss that washed his soul. Her soul was damaged by the second. He finishes placing the festering poison in her. Her warm soul diminished.

And the video stops.

A reminder of what happened that time. Never to forget. He held that video as high as her head, to never break ties with his family. Nor the other ones. It was hopeless. The degrading, the dehumanizing words he sprouted, everything he did was to baby-fy her. Her soul was beaten senseless by men in her life, what's one more? Nothing. Whatever she had felt that day, when she laid on that floor, disheveled. Her friend, Leon, found her first. In a panic, he called for the ambulance and stayed, just to make sure she was alive. Leon was never the type to panic unless the situation called for it. This time, he was scared of her life slipping away.

Everything there has ended that day.

Continuing Conceptual hcs!!!

•After the blackmail had been received, she had been yelled at by her parents about her failures. Failures in life, failures in protection, failures in preserving, failures of succeeding, failures in being better, being perfect. Never, had anything went smoothly. Even if it did, it was expected to go awry sooner or later.

•That night she wrote in Elegy again. The loss of her warm soul. Slowly filling in the gaps with malice, fear, anxiety, and uncertainty. She never knew what it felt to be loved when all she ever did was love. What did it feel like receiving on the other end? Did it feel great? Overwhelming? Comforting? Or terrifying? She didn't know.

•Her hobbies were limited and health conditions were getting worse. Unspecified mental problems have arisen and she is yet to have recover. Everything was going to fast for her.

•And that was when her biggest betrayal from her now 'ex' began.

•So to start, she tried to heal again. Trying to give herself some hope before falling into another stage of misery. She's expecting the unexpected, but nothing will prepare her for what's to come.

•Everything just wants to play with her delicate heart, don't they?

Warnings up ahead!!!

"You wouldn't do this to me, right? Please don't... why? Why do you hate me so much? What was the point in our relationship!? Why am I not valuable to you!?" She shouted, angrily. Tears had streamed down her cheek, one too many times had it fallen before. "You were worth a while, not forever." Was all he said, before giving his brother a way, "Waahh~ You look so scared! Don't be, I'll take gre~at care of you. All I need to do is, tell the school you'll be transferring soon. And maybe, you'll transfer back when you do." "Do? Do what!? Don't make it vague for me! This is insane! Why am I the one suffering from this!? What did I do?" She said in choked sobs. Tyler smiled, but the other didn't. Instead, he chose to walk away from the scene, never to look back once. It wasn't like he valued her in any way besides great servitude. She tried to chase after him but was knocked out by the other one. Dragging her unconscious body along the sidewalk and carrying her into the car which he stole from his deep-sleeping parents' house. Securing her in a renovated room on the top floor like a tower. All nice and new, it was to her liking. Her aesthetics, the stuff she prefers to keep in her room, her dream closet, everything. Especially her so-called 'holy' balcony. Complete with the white big pillars on each side and golden intricate designs, just like how she imagines her room to be, and what her bedroom, bathroom, living room, dining room, and kitchen, small, comforting, and space attic with the warm comfy vibes. But, the balcony was too high to jump down, if she were to fly, her wings would be shot down, if she tried going out, the bars on the balcony, bent like a birdcage of sorts, wouldn't budge. Escaping from the exit would do her no good at all. But, all her old hobbies, the ones he'd studied diligently, were all there. For her singing, a microphone. Listening to music, headphones, speakers, disco lights, and an airpod. For dancing, there would be a small stage for her in the middle of the room, a circle with an Angel wing emblem on it. Next was her love for poems, and her different types of poems. There, on the right corner to the left of her upstairs bedroom, was a large bookshelf and desk. For her to write, draw, and paint. She could write poems, draw sketches for her unfinished work, and paint her imagination to her heart's content. For now, she's chained on the ankle once more.

Back to Conceptual hcs!!!

•For one, she woke up startled. She did not expect to wake up to her bedroom look-alike. All she knew was that she was chasing her ex before getting knocked out, but then she remembered. Tyler.

•The Ty family will never give her a break, won't they? She was in a panic at this time, she didn't know why or how the balcony within in bars, let alone shaped like a birdcage. Everything here looked tempting. But, there was always something lingering in the back of her head. Deception.

•When Tyler came back, he was delighted to see her awake. It terrified her, knowing her g[r[[]]pist was here. But the fact still stands when his eyes meet the dull ones. She was gone, her soul. But he knew otherwise, it's a shell to protect herself. One way or another. All he needs to do is... break it.

•after the manipulations, the lies, and the many attempts to distort her reality, eventually her mental mindset weakened, and could no longer grasp logic. She was weak to what she thought she was strong at.

•Suddenly... she felt happy? Elated? Seeing her captor she happily greeted, "Welcome Home!" She'd greet him with the same affection she tried giving to Tyron. None of them passed through him but to Tyler? He drank every moment of it. Even if it wasn't real.

•She'd transfer to another school, where she's bullied and humiliated at first, then gets used to the insults and brace it. Joking with them and making jokes of her own. Tyler would demand the same as Tyron, but in a different way.

•He'd demand affection. So much it's overwhelming her and stress tends to come up. She'd do anything, and give reluctant but quick obligance to the man before her. She knew no better anymore, she never knew!

•Until all the humiliation she had faced in that school with unusual glee, she was transferred back to her old school. Lest to say, her friends were shocked as to seeing her with another guy... that treats her the same as Tyron.

•Although, it's not EXACTLY the same. Look! She has gotten her personality back! And her hobbies she once wore with pride! Oh, too much affection... no boundaries? "Fia", are 'you' okay? This is where they start planning into making her open her eyes again.

•Her best friends were first, but she was firm in believing into finding the one she "truly loved" while her other friends cringed because no guy would treat their girlfriends like that. That is too demanding, too possessive, too protective, and too creepy.

•Imagine their rage when the truth about her incident happened. That day, when she was barely covered, with bruises and bites all over her skin, whilst she lay on the floor. That, that was him, wasn't it?

•So to Leon, he tried giving her reasons, but she shuts him off. Only to be contacted by the others and discreetly pulling away Tyler as Leon knocked some senses into her head to get her functioning.

•If that didn't work, then he brings up the video he somehow got. [<-he hacked Ty's phone and anyone who had the video into deleting it] Then, she remembered.

•The pain, the loss, the sorrow, the misery, the sadism, and the darkness swallowing her whole. While her white lilies wither and die inside her home.

•She had felt emptiness before, again and again. But, it was a feeling she had gotten used too.

• 2 more years pass and she had finally gotten rid of him.

•By bankruptcy, planned deaths of his parents, implanted humiliation in his school, spreading misinformation and rumors, tearing his image down bit by bit, and lastly driving him mad to commit Chuichide[🎀].

•She felt a but free again. But not without knowing Tyron is still somewhere out there. Waiting, watching, and planning for his next move.

The End.

Trivial facts!

•She had an abortion.

•She loved writing in sonnets!!

•She loved drawing her friends and her favorite animals!!

•She likes foxes and jellyfish

•Her favorite food for breakfast is a sunny-side up with rice [add a little bit of salt and it should be good] !!!

•Her favorite color is navy blue.

•She likes the word "Angel wings".

•She loves butterflies and was inspired by it.

[diarychocolate-and-spices]

Navigation🌸🪦

🌸"I like you, I'm following you home tonight."🪦

Introduction:

You can call me Choco or Spicey Truff, depends on how you wanna call me, I like diary milk chocolates.

I write for TWST and this is a journal blog for my main account.

Wrote in the grave🌸

^My Rules up there, please read, it's recommended. Genuinely ♡w♡

🪦What's Written in our history🪷

^What do you see, in that tomb engraved with a name?

I seek a perfect partner, that is you.🎀

Fandoms I'm fixated in (currently):

• Twisted Wonderland

@that-smallinjured-bowylamb is my main

About my yuume♡

Name: "Fia Rodriguez"

Gender: Female 「but kept being mistaken as gender neutral」

Pronouns: She/her or they/them

Age: [NO REVEAL, THIS PERSON DOES NOT EXIST IN TWISTED WONDERLAND]

Year: first-year

Dorm: Ramshackle

Best Subject: History, arts, and crafts.

Height: 5'0 (152.40 cm)

Dominant hand: right-handed

Introvert

Birthday: 05/05

Hometown: [???], but it is said she was in Kuwait before transferring to the Philippines.

Likes: Arts, writing, music, poetry, psychology, astronomy, foxes, jellyfish, sweet/sour/spicey/savory foods (<-but is VERY picky with specific foods), plushies, people that like her, napping, fanfics, her crushes on her friends but will never admit, reading, causing unintentional drama/trouble, baking and cooking (but fails a little w/o a supervisor), scrolling online at 3am, going with the flow. (<-and she's depressed, so she doesn't usually do all that, except for scrolling at 3am, napping, reading, music, eating, and other stuff she feels like doing)

Dislikes: big responsibilities, being forced to do something, their requests repeating more than once, being in the drama, bugs, reflections, criticism, degrading (<-but ironically copes by using it), stage, public speech, oranges, yelling, fast movements, figures of authority, sexualizing, her stalker, her exes, her family, her existence.

Habits: Flinching at the slightest touches, quick movements, loud voices, or yelling, crying when yelled/insulted at, nausea, passing out, eating little (<-only eats in breakfast, no lunch, and eats little in dinner), uncontrollable shaking, zoning out, paranoia, tendency to cry over happy relationships (or people that has lots of admirers/people that others crush on), tendency to fidget when anxious, walking around, talking to herself, lashing out at random times (mostly night), tendency to cry for no reason (even Grim got worried), hiding sharp objects in her hoodie pocket, feeling of intense insecurity, intense feeling of self-deprecation, intense envy for both genders (or any, that is), staying up late at night, making inappropriate humor (that she is yet to make, ever since her arrival in TWST).

Appearance

'Fia's hair is short, same length reaching to the bottom bra-line, feather haircut with two ahoges in front of her face, has side-bangs, the color of her hair is somewhere with black, to a very dark brown, her hair is messy.

She has eyebags (not that much, though!), Doe-eyed, thick brows, long eyelashes (idk where she got it from), an eyepatch covering her right eye, and some sort of blank/traumatized look (dw, it's her neutral expression), she wears her maks that she somehow brought to TWST.

She has a dark-isk skin, not too dark, but just enough.

She wears a beige and light beige square-pattern skirt underneath her black hoodie, it is a merchandise hoodie her father gifted her, and on the hoodie with a golden text, "Ang Pinuno" a Filipino horror narrator. She also wears black shorts.

And wears her school shoes. Not much about her, just plain, average girl besides with Yuu and Grim. Appearance below(but terrible drawing, ik not good with digital art):

^Chibi vers. Of "Fia Rodriguez" (old)

And, the other one, Fia Rodriguez. ^ (new)

The one in the middle is "identity". ^ (new)

Her body weighs around 30kg [36-38kg somewhere in between], small-chested [+XXTRA SMALL], as mentioned before, 5'0ft short.

Personality:

Before: "Fia" liked playing, she was playful, naive, loud, and tricky. She liked to play and tease her friends at anything in the slightest, from laughing at their pronunciation, to giggling when they fell, then helping them up afterward, she enjoyed laughing and was quite optimistic in her future, naive because she was a child. She is, like other children, loud, but can be completely silenced when demanded. She is naive, but she does not want to be hurt again by being a loud child. She's tricky when she can be, from impressive acting, to making things tricky for adults, this had slightly dulled over time.

After: Due to her past, she is quite aloof and aware, she does not like men but not every man in general. "Fia" considered disguising herself with different 'versions' of herself, both online and in real life. She had confused herself as a creator of sorts, and often sees herself as some system that creates, spectating, and erasing. That is, until she fell into the rabbit hole, and went missing for a week, but the time she had gone back? She was happy, not because her family missed her (they do not), but because her reality came true. No one knows her current persona, but they do know she is a little crazy. When she wishes for someone to love her romantically, she only yearns for fictional characters who don't even know she exists. She's aware that Twisted Wonderland is just a game with a decent story plot, character designs, and pretty faces. Yet she can't help but envy them in the same breath. She zones out from time to time which gives her this unsettling look in others perspective.

Background:

Warning ⚠️:Dark topics of childhood trauma, mental health issues, maybe some mental illness(?), but proceed with caution ⚠️

When "Fia" was around a toddler age, she had experienced horrible babysitters, one of her babysitters threatened to kill her, rape her, or even throw her out of the window on the 8th floor. The first horrible babysitter, was when her mom dropped her off to a suspicious lady with children (girls) that has odd behavior around the babysitter. Once she was left alone in there, the babysitter paid no attention to her. Only doing so, was when it was breakfast, lunch, bathtime, dinner, and bedtime. Playtime was foreign for the children in that house, no girl had played inside that house at all. So, out of boredom, "Fia" brought her toys, her movable dolls. Playing alone, one could ask, "What does she do with the dolls?" Well, she plays story time with the dolls. Inappropriate behavior, implications of cheating, financial problems, and shouting. 'Fia' had made vague gestures of dolls making Inappropriate behavior toward the other doll, making it seem like a non-consensual act. But, none of the adults questioned it, or even looked at it. Back to her babysitter, she was quite the cruel one, not befitting of a child caretaker.

From her emotional neglect to her abusive tendencies to the children, 'Fia' was scared. A terrified child. She had once dropped her oranges on the floor by accident, and instead of the caretaker scolding her, she was forced to eat it off the floor, the other time was when she broke the pole that held the curtains for support, and she was beaten by her babysitter, another time was when it was bathtime, where all the little girls would line up and at least 2-3 girls bathed in the tub, 'Fia' was first in line because of her excitement to take baths, but her babysitter told her to walk in first, when she did as she was told, she was bathed alone, but in the middle of her bathtime, her babysitter stood up and left, the babysitter locked her inside the bathroom. It was cold and wet, and the only thing that was covering her was her towel. She was begging to be let out, for at least 1 or 2 in a half hours, she was let out, but she was cold, her fingertips were blue and her body shivered from the freezing bathroom.

Another time was when she saw her babysitter showing the other children the view up from the window, they were on the 8th floor, and when she requested she wanted to see it as well, the babysitter took it as a demand, and got angry at "Fia". She, on the other hand, ran away in hopes she wouldn't face punishment and make the babysitter think that she didn't need to look out the window anymore. But, she was still caught and dragged to 'see' the window, the babysitter picked her up, leaned out the window, and held 'Fia's right arm. The girl cried, apologizing over and over again, promising she wouldn't ask much again. Saying it was her fault and that she was sorry. She held tightly around the babysitter's arm, scared to let go when she already let her right arm go. She didn't want to fall and developed a fear of heights in this memory. Later the mom found out but instead of doing anything, like calling the cops or lashing out, she transferred the girl to another babysitter. It was a man. She couldn't remember the rest about this man, but she knew his sister would often threaten children inside that house, making her scared. She had begged her mom before transferring but would do it again. Peeing herself wasn't uncommon, it was a natural reaction whenever she went to a babysitter. Every babysitter was terrible. She didn't like them at all. That man, she didn't know much about him in the memories, but he had been... touchy with her if she could remember. She had developed an unconscious instinct to avoid men as much as possible, even feeling uncomfortable with men, refused to change even in front of her father and mother, throws a fit whenever something does not go right, refuses to be touched by men and women, often hiding herself from adults, and other things kids shouldn't do. This had gone up for so long until she had developed a conscious, –Independant, almost strong curiosity mind– at the age of 5. She had access to the internet independently. Yet they blame her device? It's not that she asked for it, it's their idea giving their child access to the internet alone. The more she learnt what was in there, the more she thought about the life in the outside world. Now, she had been staying at home. Her father playing games on his phone, while her mom was off to work. Afraid of making a mistake or asking her father questions (because he'll get mad if she disturbs his game), she goes to her IPad, where she often plays a ton of games and watch lots of videos. She can't remember much but she does remember her parents fighting often, so often she thinks this is normal, even when they go as far as to hit each other in front of their child. Her mom attempted suicide in front of her, she convinced her father to stop her mother. They both love her, but she couldn't believe them at all, using their "love" and "trust" for what? It wasn't anything special. She didn't know what it looked like. So, she pretended, pretended to be the same sweet child, until all that sweetness rots in her teeth.

Every day, sometimes her parents would hit her, sometimes they would neglect her, sometimes gaslight her, and sometimes show their affection like their love could heal and sew back any wounds they've inflicted on their daughter's heart. But nothing. Nothing is comparable to what they do to her. She can't think straight from this, but she does have a special power. It's like what she had dreamed of being an artist by heart and all. She could create on paper, the Internet, or reality. She could spectate on her paper, the internet, or reality. She could erase her creations on paper, the internet, or reality. She can make anything, spectate it, and erase it. Not saying she's omnipotent, but she would wish to have different versions of "herself". Age of 7, where she showed signs of derangement. But it wasn't specified in her memory, all she knew, she tried to kill her mother when she was asleep.

In the age of 7, she could act, not accurately, but enough to be believed amongst adults. Two boys bullied her out of racism, this was all back to when she was in Kuwait. Everyone in here is dull-looking, either that or they just don't smile at all. So, when the boys bullied her, she retorted. When their mom arrived she took the opportunity to hug their mom and blame them. It all hurts but it was worth it in the end. She told her parents she defended herself after returning with her Aunt. They didn't care they were on their phones. No one congratulated her. It wasn't worth it.

At the age of 8, she sometimes daydreamed, about anything like her OCs, characters she had a crush on, etc, etc. One day, she met a boy, Tyron. He was nice, at first. They spoke, and laughed, even becoming friends. This was the time she developed a puppy crush on him, but didn't admit it out loud. But when she accidentally spilled it one day, his smile changed into something more sinister, if she could recall. He started being touchy with her, she brushed it off but was uncomfortable. Then, he'd tell rape jokes and sexualize even a movement from her. About her being fucked by her uncle, about her being non-consensually assaulted in the alleyway, she didn't like any of it. Immaturity. Then, at the beach, when she was playing with her best friend, Lucy, who was Arabian and was very nice to her, she was naive. The thing is, is that 'Fia' tends to corrupt or influence her friends into being like her. But that was a talk for another time. Lucy was scared of swimming in the water. So, she left Lucy to play in the sands, around sunset, when she was enjoying swimming, Tyron grabbed her by the hips then slowly made his way to her ass. She tried drowning Tyron, but her aunts and her mom refused to listen to her. After they got out, showered, and dressed, the three kids were walking in front of the female adults, now very clear that Tyron, 'Fia', and Lucy was in view. But, the problem is, they were talking. And Tyron attempted to grab her again. This time flinging sand into his eyes. Strength of unresolved resentment. Everyday this guy would harass her, until she unwillingly got used to it. Praying, that he'll be gone. And he did, by the age of 10, 'Fia' had felt relieved when Tyron left for America. She was happy.

And took online classes too, she is smart, but not good with math. She tends to zone out in class, often playing with her pencil, or drawing on her paper. She does this everyday until the age of 11.

The age of 11 is when she attended her 5th grade. At first, she was very nervous, and even hid behind the doors, covering herself, there were 5 boys and 1 girl in that classroom, 'Fia' happens to be the 2nd girl in class. She was anxious, incredibly so. But she daydreams to escape it, using her power to create, spectate, and erase.

The teachers were quite friendly, she made friends with the only girl in class, and she liked calling her friend 'Princey' for short. But, she didn't go unnoticed amongst the boys, they'd sometimes pick on her, and tease her, making her more insecure than she necessarily is. She couldn't remember the rest of the 5th grade in her memories, but she does remember sticking her pinky on the cracks of the door, when it closed, her pinky got stuck in between the doors. It hurts. It really did. But, it was a mistake on her part, and a fault on his side. She finally passed out on her chair when she made it. No one believed her, they made fun of it instead of being useful. No one called for the teacher, she passed out. Eyes wide open, her vision blurry and black. When she gained consciousness she panicked when her head started to hurt. She had to rest in school for the day. It was national dance event time and she had an anxiety attack after performing. She was horrified with the amount of people that watched her. It was always like this, now she was slightly out of her shell in school.

So, in 6th grade 2 more girls showed up, one was taller than her, the other shorter. They both seemed nice, so she spoke with them and befriended them. Now they had a little group of girls she could speak with, it made her happy, so happy she made a 'version' of them. The tall girl 'Angel' used to hate the leader of the boy's group, and she was half-American. She had attracted not only boys but also girls. Made 'Fia' slightly envious since she wanted someone to feel romance towards her but, then again, she might not reciprocate... while the short one on the other hand, 'Zy' was natural. Simple, as others say, but a rarity in 'Fia's eyes. A simple girl is all she is, barely seen in the crowd. She was a figure skater. 'Fia' used to go skating if she could remember. Every day in that school, 'Fia' tends to look at every girl in school and wonder what makes them so attractive in the eyes of the others. Is their body shape being a bit thicker? Thinner? Curvy? Chubby? Skinnier? What could it be? She wanted to know, so she could feel pretty, and maybe, have admirers who don't like her for just her appearance. Maybe herself if lucky? She doesn't know. But she wants to. Then, she met other people from other grades as well. There were two girls, one of them she'd like to call, "Yazmin" or "Jasmine". When she first heard two more girls enrolled into the 5th grade whilst she, was in 6th, she wanted to greet them as well. She didn't know why she wanted to, but she did because she felt like being friends with them would be nice. She befriended "Char", "Leo", "Lacey", "Cloe", and "Yasmine". And, before this, in 5th grade, –since she had missed something back there– there was a high schooler, her name was Layla, she was like an actual mother to her. She cries every time she remembers her, would it feel nice to have a mother like that? Would she be different if she was raised like that? Nonetheless, she thought of Layla as a mother figure of sorts, showing off her things like drawing, or a decent grade, she'd get applause or a 'great job!' Something she wanted to hear for a very long time instead of silence and dismissive hands.

Back in the 6th-grade memories, "Yasmin" was a kind girl, at first she disliked the boys in 'Fia's class, and Fia agreed with it, but something told her it wouldn't last as she'd expected it to be. When she noticed the dark-skinned boy often zoning out and his best friend had to knock him back to reality, that was suspicious. Fast forward to the masquerade ball where the two mysteriously fell for each other, 'Fia' still had no feelings for "romance". But, felt happy when they got together, sometimes crying out of pure jealousy, since not even a 7th grade later, 'Angel' revealed to have been dating the leader of the boy's group for a while. Damn. She really couldn't catch a break when she saw couples left and right, couldn't she? Oh well, now there's 'Fia', 'Zy', and 'Princey'. Oh, but in 7th grade 'Princey' gets a girlfriend. Now she feels replaced, she only had 'Zy' left in the single group, of course, the girlfriend of 'Princey' was in their friend group. After all, she was the one that invited 'Valley' to the group, she loved them all so much. But afraid they'd leave her one day and forget about her, not truly feeling like she was the friend group's leader by choice, only befriended, nothing else. But that didn't hurt than what was to come in the future, the boy's group had changed, and she befriended two more people, "Cris" and "Jonan". They were boys, but she didn't mind, she only wanted more friends to speak to in case she felt left out. And subtlety invited them into her friend group.

That is, until she had to transfer schools.

Her memory got worse and there wasn't much memories to value in her mind, she felt numb, taking away her happy place. Then, sending her to a school she'll have trouble adapting in. All memories stopped here.

Until today, she is just an 'ordinary' student, of course, her special ability to create, spectate, and erase increased into giving her more abilities than necessary, she felt like a false "god" of sorts. But, she liked it all the same, that is... when she slept and

Fell into Twisted Wonderland.

Trivia facts

•"Fia" actually has three versions of herself: "Fia Rodriguez", Fia Rodriguez, and "Identity".

•Her actual version is "Fia" <- the one who hid her name to protect her identity.

•She was in an extreme case of bullying. And her only cope was to daydream.

•Had attempted before, and still tries to now. But, only when it feels overwhelming for her, or when everything feels numb [<-hence the scars on the Fia Rodriguez version, but this one has bruises from hitting too much on the corners/people/herself]

•She has trauma with oranges.

•She's afraid of bugs.

•She has many crushes in TWST but no one knows that (it'll be humiliating if they found out).

•Had made lovestories in her head but every time she did, it will always end badly for some reason. (<-doesn't allow herself to indulge a 'happy' ending)

•Once made a fanfic about herself and [Twst character].

•Extremely hyper-fixated on history, science, potionology, astronomy, astrology, and whatever she can write.

•Had once an Existential crisis when she arrived in Twisted Wonderland.

•When Ace made fun of her during first meeting, she teared up a little. Even when she knew he was going to say all that according to the game.

•Self-aware.

•If there's another MC [like Yuu] then she tends to cling to them, if not then she often gets anxiety attacks in her room.

•When there's a Yuu[sona] she likes to talk to them more than talking to Twst Characters, it makes her feel at ease.

•She wants to be friends with "Miss" Fides, [ @gracegarnet 's OC btw !!!]

•Likes being bestie-bestie's with Miss Fides and Hana Asteria [<- OC from @hanafubukki !!!]

•Often switching her 'forms' every time she felt like it (<- but mostly changed her form to Fia Rodriguez whenever she goes outside Ramshackles), switches back to "Fia Rodriguez" inside, and "identity" whenever she talks to her friends (<-she just wants to be pretty in their eyes)

•She has either wings, tails, claws, or horns depending on what form she wants/makes. (She feels incomplete without them) !!!

•Her positive traits are:

♡being supportive

♡kind to others

♡generously giving money to others (even when she has little to none of them, like a penny)

♡doing chores

♡A 'good' student (in the adult's eyes)

♡Quite helpful(?)

♡Caring

♡loyal

♡most of the time, genuine

♡affectionate(?)

•Her negative traits are:

☆being disheveled most of the time

☆Mostly staying indoors

☆forgetting most of the time.

☆oftenly losing motivation

☆sometimes neglecting self-care

☆intense gender envy (she wants to he pretty)

☆intense feeling of insecurity

☆Anxious most of the time (depending on the form)

☆extremely clingy

•Likes being called a cute nickname (but mostly is used to hearing name-calling insults)

End.

I forgot where I got this from, sorry for the self-insert!