k41tlyn8487 - Tumblr blog

[k41tlyn8487]

I mean my dad said that my boyfriend lost points cuz its my birthday but i had to invite him and he said he was busy

And i told my boyfriend he lost points and explained why

And bow he wants to voicechat all a sudden

And i joined snd hes just talking about the games he has been playing and is streaming it to me in discord

But i dont have the heart to tell him im upset

Everyone says eighteenth birthdays should be anazing but i just feel so sad

My own grandmother forgot my birthday

My boyfriend played video games with his friends even tho j asked him if he wanted to play with me

I didnt do anything

I just went to school came home and sat alone

I really thought i was getting better but this makes me reconsider that

[k41tlyn8487]

Everyone says eighteenth birthdays should be anazing but i just feel so sad

My own grandmother forgot my birthday

My boyfriend played video games with his friends even tho j asked him if he wanted to play with me

I didnt do anything

I just went to school came home and sat alone

I really thought i was getting better but this makes me reconsider that

[k41tlyn8487]

Normalise mourning the life you may have had before chronic illness took over.

[k41tlyn8487]

even though i have chronic pain since 2021, i still feel guilty how anyone can't rely on me anymore, principally physically. my mom still needs me, my brothers still need me, i still need me. i know my mom feels resentful because of my chronic pain, she shows that. i wasn't like this all of my life (i suspect that i always was, but i don't remember), the things i did before i don't do anymore. i got more weak, tired, depressed, moody and inconvenient. i wish i had no pain, no sorrow, no motives to be the way i am being. but living is tiring, and the pain doesn't go away in any way.

[k41tlyn8487]

Accepting myself, even the parts that hurt me, has been a struggle. But I'm trying.

Edit : including an image description that mod bright at @accessfashion did!

[image description: a thirteen panel comic about chronic pain in the artist’s legs.

First, black text reads: “sometimes all of the pain just gets too much”.

Beneath the panel show a pale person sitting and holding onto their thigh with both hands.

Second, text reads: “and I begin wishing that I could just exchange my legs for better ones”.

Panel shows a red book labeled “legs”.

Third, text reads: “maybe I could have a mermaid tail instead”.

Panel shows the book open to pages that show a fish tail and a text bubble that says “so many options”.

Fourth, text reads: “it would be beautiful, and I could spend all my time swimming”.

Panel shows a pale mermaid swimming away, surrounded by sea life.

Fifth, text reads: “but then I wouldn’t be able to leave the water…”

Panel shows a pale centaur facing away from the camera.

Sixth, text reads: “a centaur body would give me twice the number of legs, and I go anywhere I want without a car”.

Panel shows the book with a rearing centaur, but fine print reads: “caution: can’t fit in small areas such as elevators and household doorways”.

Seventh, text reads: “I guess maybe not everywhere”.

Panel shows faun legs with a bubble that reads: “smaller than a centaur! Very nimble!”

Eighth, text reads: “goat legs would be smaller, and I could prance about”.

Panel shows a pale faun standing facing away from the camera.

Ninth, text reads: “but I don’t think I could handle all the extra fur…”

Panel shows snake tails with a bubble that reads: “slithering is the new walking!”

Tenth, text reads: “a snake tail would be really comfortable to sleep with”.

Panel shows a Naga curled up with their tail falling into their face.

Eleventh, text reads: “but I would probably get myself tangled up.”

Panel shows the legs book closed again, next to a boba tea and a cat’s paws.

Twelfth, text reads: “maybe I’m just too picky”.

Panel shows pale legs extended in a bathtub full of pink water.

Thirteenth, text reads: “or maybe I should accept my legs the way they are, pain and all”.

Panel shows the pale legs bent at the knee, a black cat curled up beside them, and two bottles of pills sitting beside them.

End description.]

[k41tlyn8487]

CW: issued Eating, body issues, boyfriends

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TLDR: i feel like i need to lose weight for my boyfriend

My and my boyfriend met four years ago and i had a-lot of issues with not eating and loss of weight and honestly i was not healthy at all. My boyfriend (we have been together less than a year) admitted he liked me romantically since then and he knows about my struggles with weight and he is truly amazing he makes sure i eat, if i have a bad day or a low period he always checks i have something to eat and always brings me things i like and eats with me so i don’t feel like a spectacle. However recently we have been discussing different things maybe going further and i have been feeling like i need to lose weight to be good to him that maybe he still likes the version of me from four years ago

So i guess im just asking advice

[k41tlyn8487]

have you joined the chronic pain club today? it's not too late!

[k41tlyn8487]

Does anyone else ever feel like you shouldn’t complain about being in pain because you have pain a large portion of the time and should be used to it

But like also you recognise that that is a stupid thought process

But also you feel bad for complaining

[k41tlyn8487]

Medical condition: gets worse without sleep

Medical condition: makes it harder to sleep

[k41tlyn8487]

Discussion of : chest dysphoria, boyfriends, chest euphoria

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My kinda boyfriend has a minor obsession with my chest and i think its made me less dysphoric but idk if thats normal

[k41tlyn8487]

Had a panic attack in the arms of my kinda boyfriend and he actually like cared about me… and like wasnt annoyed… is this what … a healthy relationship …. Is like ….?

[k41tlyn8487]

A new song I wrote

I wrote a song! it’s called Dysphoria. it goes like this:

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

[k41tlyn8487]

[k41tlyn8487]

"low support needs disabled people are often not believed to have a disability at all and therefore struggle to get accommodations."

"high support needs disabled people's accommodations are often seen as 'too much' and therefore are not met."

"neurodivergent people's needs are often dismissed because nothing is physically wrong with them."

"physically disabled people people often cannot physically access buildings and people refuse to do anything about it."

"invisibly disabled people are seen as lazy by society."

"visibly disabled people are ostracized from society."

IT'S ALMOST LIKE THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS A SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE DISABILITY

[k41tlyn8487]

How has Kafka brought me over 200 notes

This is me right now trying to read Franz Kafkas Metamorphosis for my Drama and Theatre Studies exam

[k41tlyn8487]

This is me right now trying to read Franz Kafkas Metamorphosis for my Drama and Theatre Studies exam

[k41tlyn8487]

allistics when autistic person has autistic traits instead of just being a silly and quirky: