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incorrectlumityquotes · 4 years

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Why Amity fell for Luz: A Theory

Watching all the episodes of The Owl House and reviewing them brought back a lot of thoughts and feelings that I maybe forgot about. We all ship things and sometimes we do it for fun; sometimes for deeper reasons. I just started lumity because it reminded me of Diana & Akko from Little Witch Academia. I loved that show so much that I wanted more, and I thought it would be cool if Luz & Amity did something similar. I had no idea that it was going to go beyond that, so DAMN. To quote a talking science wolf, “For years we ask how, but we should ask why.” I mean, we saw how. But why? Well I can take a guess.

If we’re are going to start anywhere it’s going to be with the girl in question, Amity Blight.

As far as I know as of this typing, Amity Blight is a witchling from The Boiling Isles. She lives in Bonesboro at The Blight Manor estate with her parents and her siblings. She attends Hexside School of Magic and Demonics. Good for her.

Amity has an ambitious and competitive personality. She’s always striving to be better and be at the top of whatever she is doing. When she’s introduced in I Was a Teenage Abomination, she’s showing having great pride in being the top student in her abomination class. In Adventures in the Elements, she goes to The Knee in hopes of training to beat her siblings’ high score on the placement exam.

Amity also has a bit of a temper and gets annoyed easily. In I Was a Teenage Abomination, she sics her abominations on Willow and Luz just because she wasn’t named top student that day. In Enchanting Grom Fright, Amity snapped at the person she bumped into before realizing it was Luz. And later in the same episode, Amity beat up Hooty when he decided to get too close.

But she does have a soft sensitive side. She keeps a diary in her secret room in the library and even reads to kids in her free time. Amity also has a strong sense of integrity. She despises cheating (and cheaters) and feels guilt when she’s forced to break ties with Willow.

So why did someone like this fall for Luz of all people? (see above image)

Enter what I call my Shipping Theory of Compliments

The Shipping Theory of Compliments is that two characters would be shipped and sometimes canonically enter a romantic relationship based on their personalities complimenting each other and fulfilling elements they don’t have alone necessary to developing the character.

People like to use the image of a missing puzzle piece, but I don’t like that comparison because I think it’s a little inaccurate and I don’t like puzzles. Think of it more like the two pieces of the yin and yang coming together and then growing the circles of the opposite colors in them.

Something like that.

And it’s compliments, not opposites. When you think compliments, think more Star and Marco from Star vs the Forces of Evil. Star wants to go on a magical adventure. Marco also wants to go on a magic adventure. The difference is that Star goes in recklessly while Marco wants to plan it out a bit. They still have their adventure as oppose to Star’s opposite who wouldn’t want to go on a magical adventure. That sort of thing.

So how do Luz and Amity compliment each other?

Let’s start with that they have in common. Obvious stuff aside, they’re both training to become the best witches they can be. The difference comes that Luz is a human who has to learn magic via glyphs that she finds and Amity learns magic the “proper” way on The Boiling Isles.

Luz and Amity are also both fans of The Good Witch Azura book series. Difference is that Luz is more open about her fandom while Amity tries to keep it a secret. Also petty thing but they’re both fan artists too, but I think Luz might be a better than Amity. But hey, her crosshatching is improving.

Luz and Amity are also (at the start of the series) both lonely people. Luz’s mom says that she doesn’t have any friends, and Amity doesn’t like her “friends.” The difference is that Luz reaches outward to ease her loneliness (being social and friendly, trying new things, etc.) while Amity reaches inward (keeping a diary, staying busy, having a secret spot, etc.). They both also use escapist fiction to ease their loneliness.

That’s all well and good, but now we get into the real speculative parts.

...complimenting each other and fulfilling elements they don’t have alone necessary to developing the character.

When I was taking acting classes I was taught that the way you see people act is a persona based on their experiences on what it takes to survive and avoid physical, emotional and social death. So now we have to speculate based on what we were given on what emotional/social needs and wants has Amity not been getting before that she has with Luz.

First let me point you to another show called F is for Family. F is for Family is an adult animated sitcom on Netflix that follows a very dysfunctional family in the 1970s. These are legitimately bad characters, not in terms of being poorly written. What I’m saying is that these guys are assholes. But here’s where it gets interesting.

One of the characters is Kevin Murphy, the teenage son of the family. He’s a dim-witted wannabe rockstar who is always yelled at and put down by his parents throughout the entire series. However in season four Kevin meets Alice. Alice teaches Kevin that his favorite band is a big reference to Tolkien and gives him a copy of The Hobbit. They bond over their love of Lord of the Rings and get along really well. Alice calls him smart for being able to read all of Lord of the Rings over a few days and never puts him down. Even in the one time they did fight she never yelled at him or raised her voice which he found weird because he’s so used to being yelled at. Alice gave Kevin the emotional support he always wanted but never got from his family.

Using that as a backdrop, let’s go back to Amity.

Amity grew up with her parents making her do things she didn’t want to do, making choices for her. Amity wanted to be one way. Her parents wanted something else. Amity’s mother even dyes Amity’s hair green so it matches her siblings. Amity wanted to be friends with Willow. Amity’s parents wanted her to be friends with the mean kids. While Amity does work hard to be the best at what she’s doing, her parents also put pressure on her to make sure that she is at that level.

Her siblings are another bag of awful. They constantly refer to her by an annoying nickname that I’m guessing has an embarrassing moment attached to it. They seem to live by a double standard that Amity despises. She has to work hard and follow the rules just to be accepted while they are naturally talented and break the rules with everyone still thinking that they’re perfect.

Family is supposed to provide unconditional love except it looks like the love of the Blights is based on conditions. Nobody just likes Amity for who she is. She doesn’t have a friend.

Enter: the friendliest person she’s ever met

Amity has to struggle and work for the simplest things, even affection. Except when it comes to Luz. Luz is naturally friendly and positive. Amity doesn’t have to earn her kindness. Even when she’s bullied Luz before, Luz is always coming back with a smile. I suppose when you live life surrounded by jerks, you’ll want to hang out with the one person who’s always nice to you. Sort of.

Yes, Amity did think Luz was a bully for constantly getting her into trouble. But even at Covention and Lost in Language, Luz kept reaching out to her. This combined with Amity’s awareness of her own behavior is what convinced her to try to reach out in kind to Luz by the end of Lost in Language. “She’s trying to be nice to me, so I should try too,” I’m guessing is the mindset especially in Adventures in the Elements. And then...Luz continued to be nice to her which is kind of a big deal for Amity.

Let’s tally up what we have so far:

Luz and Amity have similar interests (The Good Witch Azura series, art, fiction, learning magic)

Luz and Amity have similar values (work ethic, disdain for cheating, protecting those closest to you, etc.)

Luz gives Amity the positivity and affection that Amity doesn’t normally get anywhere else

They still have differing personalities with Amity being more competitive and Luz having more of a live-and-let-live attitude.

Even with all these things in mind, why was Amity so scared to ask Luz to Grom?

Speculating again but my theory is that Amity wasn’t sure if Luz actually liked her or if Luz is just friendly because that’s how Luz is. Amity was scared of being rejected because she felt that maybe she was just reading the situation wrong. Luz is this ray of sunshine in her gray skies (if you’ll forgive the cliché). People like Amity always think of all the worst possibilities (I know because I do this too). Amity was probably thinking a bunch of what ifs. “What if Luz doesn’t actually like me? What if she’s just being friendly because she feels sorry for me? What if she has feelings for someone else? What if she never actually liked me? What if she’s straight?”

Luz is Amity’s first crush and it is scary as all hell to put yourself out there like that for the first time. She wasn’t expecting to get married at Grom night. She just wanted to dance with the girl she liked.

The dance at Grom was like confirmation for her that it could happen. Amity didn’t have to ask out Luz because Luz asked her. Being with Luz isn’t a pipedream. It’s a definite possibility. And we all know how she reacted to that idea.

Uh...she’ll be in her bunk.

While Luz and Amity aren’t together as of this typing, I believe it’s bound to happen. Until then, after The Lumity Trilogy, Amity knows that Luz is the girl she likes.

tl;dr version

Amity fell for Luz because they have similar interests and values, their personalities differ in a compatible way and Luz provides Amity emotional needs and wants that she doesn’t get anywhere else.

Also, round eared girl pretty.

Thanks everyone for reading.

#my thoughts #lumity #meta #analysis

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flufffysocks · 3 years

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let's talk about andi mack's worldbuilding

sorry this took forever to make! i've been pretty busy with school stuff and i kind of lost my inspiration for a bit, but i ultimately really enjoyed writing it! i wish i could've included more pics (tumblr has a max of 10 per post), and it kinda turned from less of a mini analysis to more of an extremely long rant... but i hope it's still a fun read!

i've been rewatching the show over the past few weeks (thanks again to @disneymack for the link!), and i’ve been noticing a lot that i never did the first time around. this is really the first time i’ve watched the show from start to finish since it aired, and it honestly feels so different this time - probably a combination of the fact that i’m not as focused on plot and can appreciate the show as a whole, and also that the fandom is much, much smaller now, so there’s a lot less noise. so the way i’m consuming this show feels super different than it did the first time, but the show itself doesn’t - it’s just as warm and comforting to me as it was the first time around, if not more so.

i think a lot of that can be attributed to andi mack’s “worldbuilding”. i’m not quite sure that this is the right word in this context, to be honest, because i mostly see it used in reference to fantasy and sci-fi universes, but it just sort of feels right to me for andi mack, because you can really tell how much love and care went into constructing this universe. for clarity, worldbuilding is “the process of creating an imaginary world” in its simplest sense. there’s two main types: hard worldbuilding, which involves inventing entire universes, languages, people, cultures, places, foods, etc. from scratch (think “lord of the rings” or “dune”), and soft worldbuilding, in which the creators don’t explicitly state or explain much about the fictional universe, but rather let it’s nature reveal itself as the story progresses (think studio ghibli films). andi mack to me falls in the soft worldbuilding category. even though it takes place in a realistic fiction universe, there’s a lot of aspects to it that are inexplicably novel in really subtle ways.

so watching the show now, i’ve noticed that the worldbuilding comes primarily from two things - setting and props, and oftentimes the both of them in tandem (because a big part of setting in filmmaking does depend on the props placed in it!).

one of the most obvious examples is the spoon. it really is a sort of quintessential, tropic setting in that it's the main gang's "spot", which automatically gives it a warm and homey feel to it. and its set design only amplifies this:

the choice to make it a very traditional 50s-style diner creates a very nostalgic, retro feel to it, which is something that's really consistent throughout the show, as you'll see. from the round stools at the bar, to the booths, to the staff uniforms, this is very obvious. the thing that i found especially interesting about it though is the choice of color. the typical 50s diner is outfitted with metallic surfaces and red accented furnishings, but the spoon is very distinctly not this.

instead, it's dressed in vibrant teal and orange, giving it a very fresh and modern take on a classic look. so it still maintains that feeling of being funky and retro, but that doesn't retract from the fact that the show is set distinctly in modern times.

of course, this could just be a one-off quirky set piece, but this idea of modernizing and novelizing "retro" things is a really common motif throughout the show. take red rooster records. i mean, it's a record shop - need i say more? it's obviously a very prominent store in shadyside, at least for the main characters, but there's no apparent reason why it is (until season 2 when bowie starts working there, and jonah starts performing there). a lot of the time, though, it functions solely as a record shop. vinyl obviously isn't the most practical or convenient way of listening to music, but it's had its resurgence in pop culture even in the real world, mostly due to its aesthetic value, so it's safe to say that it serves the same purpose in the andi mack universe.

the fringe seems to be nostalgic of a different era, specifically the Y2K/early 2000s period (because it's meant to be bex's territory and symbolic of who she used to be, and its later transformation into cloud 10 is representative of her character arc, but that's beside the point). to be honest, exactly what this store was supposed to be always confused me. it was kind of a combination party store/clothing store/makeup store/beauty parlor? i think that's sort of the point of it though, it's supposed to feel very grunge-y and chaotic (within the confines of a relatively mellow-toned show, of course), and it's supposed to act as a sort of treasure chest of little curios that both make the place interesting and allow the characters to interact with it.

and, of course, there's andi shack. this is really the cherry on top of all of andi mack's sets, just because it's so distinctly andi. it serves such amazing narrative purpose for her (ex. the storyline where cece and ham were going to move - i really loved this because it highlights its place in the andi mack universe so well, and i'm a sucker for the paper cranes shot + i'm still salty that sadie's cranes didn't make it into the finale) and it's the perfect reflection of andi's character development because of how dynamic it is (the crafts and art supplies can get moved around or switched out, and there's always new creations visible).

going back to the nostalgia motif though, the "shack" aspect of it always struck me as very treehouse-like. personally, whenever i think of treehouses, there's this very golden sheen of childhood about it, if that makes sense. i've always seen treehouses in media as a sort of shelter for characters' youthful innocence and idealistic memories. for example, the episode "up a tree" from good luck charlie, the episode "treehouse" from modern family, and "to all the boys 2" all use a treehouse setting as a device to explore the character's desire to hold onto their perfect image of their childhood (side note: this exact theme is actually explored in andi mack in the episode "perfect day 2.0"!). andi shack is no exception to this, but it harnesses this childhood idealism in the same way that it captures the nostalgia of the 50s in the spoon, or the early 2000s in the fringe. it's not some image of a distant past being reflected through that setting; it's very present, and very alive, because it reflects andi as she is in the given moment.

some honorable mentions of more one-off settings include the ferris wheel (from "the snorpion"), the alley art gallery (from "a walker to remember"), SAVA, the color factory (from "it's a dilemna"), and my personal favorite, the cake shop (from "that syncing feeling").

[every time i watch this episode i want to eat those cakes so bad]

these settings have less of a distinctly nostalgic feel (especially the color factory, which is a very late 2010s, instagram era setting), but they all definitely have an aura of perfection about them. andi mack is all about bright, colorful visuals, and these settings really play to that, making the andi mack universe seem really fun and inviting, and frankly very instagrammable (literally so, when it comes to the color factory!).

props, on the other hand, are probably a much less obvious tool of worldbuilding. they definitely take up less space in the frame and are generally not as noticeable (i'm sure i'll have missed a bunch that will be great examples, but i'm kind of coming up with all of this off the top of my head), but they really tie everything together.

for example, bex's box, bex's polaroid, and the old tv at the mack apartment (the tv is usually only visible in the periphery of some shots, so you might not catch it at first glance) all complement that very retro aesthetic established through the settings (especially the polaroid and the tv, because there's really no good reason that the characters would otherwise be using these).

besides this, andi's artistic nature provides the perfect excuse for plenty of colorful, crafty props to amplify the visuals and the tone. obviously, as i discussed before, andi shack is the best example of this because it's filled with interesting props. but you also see bits of andi's (and other people's) crafts popping up throughout the show (ex. the tape on the fridge in the mack apartment, andi's and libby's headbands in "the new girls", walker's shoes, andi's phone case, and of course, the bracelet). not only does doing this really solidify this talent as an essential tenet of andi's character, but it also just makes the entirety of shadyside feel like an extension of andi shack. the whole town is a canvas for her crafts (or art, depending on how you want to look at it. i say it's both), and it immensely adds to shadyside's idealism. because who wouldn't want to live in a world made of andi mack's creations?

and, while it's not exactly a prop, the characters' wardrobe is undoubtedly a major influence on the show's worldbuilding. true to it's nature as a disney channel show, all of the characters are always dressed in exceptionally curated outfits of whatever the current trends are, making the show that much more visually appealing. i won't elaborate too much on this, because i could honestly write a whole other analysis on andi mack's fashion (my favorites are andi's and bex's outfits! and kudos to the costume designer(s) for creating such wonderful and in-character wardrobes!). but, i think it's a really really important aspect of how the show's universe is perceived, so it had to be touched upon.

[^ some of my favorite outfits from the show! i am so obsessed with andi's jacket in the finale, and i aspire to be at bex's level of being a leather jacket bisexual]

and lastly, phones. this is a bit of an interesting case (pun intended), because the way they're used fluctuates a bit throughout the show, but i definitely noticed that at least in the first season terri minsky tried to avoid using them altogether. these efforts at distancing from modern tech really grounds the show in it's idealist, nostalgia-heavy roots, so even when the characters start using their phones more later in the show, they don't alter the viewer's impression of the andi mack universe very much.

so, what does all of this have to do with worldbuilding? in andi mack's case, because it's set in a realistic universe and not a fantasy one, a lot of what sets it apart from the real world comes down to tone. because, as much as this world is based on our own, it really does feel separate from it, like an alternate reality that's just slightly more perfect than ours, which makes all the difference. it's the idealism in color and composition in andi mack's settings that makes it so unmistakably andi mack. even the weather is always sunny and perfect (which is incredibly ironic because the town is called shadyside - yes, i am very proud of that observation).

the andi mack universe resides somewhere in this perfect medium that makes it feel like a small town in the middle of nowhere (almost like hill valley in 1955 from "back to the future"), but at the same time like an enclave within a big city (because of its proximity to so many modern, unique, and honestly very classy looking establishments). it is, essentially, an unattainable dream land that tricks you into believing it is attainable because it's just real enough.

all this to say, andi mack does an amazing job of creating of polished, perfect world for its characters. this is pretty common among disney channel and nickelodeon shows, but because most other shows tend to be filmed in a studio with three-wall sets, andi mack is really set apart from them in that it automatically feels more real and tangible. it has its quintessential recurring locations, but it has far more of them (most disney/nick shows usually only have 3-4 recurring settings), and it has a lot more one-off locations. it's also a lot more considerate when it comes to its props, so rather than the show just looking garish and aggressively trendy, it has a distinctive style that's actually appropriate to the characters and the story. overall this creates the effect of expanding the universe, making shadyside feel like it really is a part of a wider world, rather than an artificial bubble. it's idealism is, first and foremost, grounded in reality, and that provides a basis for its brilliant, creative, and relatable storytelling.

tl;dr: andi mack's sets and props give it a very retro and nostalgic tone which makes its whole universe seem super perfect and i want to live there so bad!!

#andi mack #buffy driscoll #cyrus goodman #jonah beck #tj kippen #tyrus #ambi #bex mack #analysis #film analysis #disney channel

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joannalannister · 5 years

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Anonymous asked:

Hey! It’s me again, your GOT secret Santa. Could you please elaborate on what aspects of the Tywin/Joanna ship you like? They’re not a ship I’ve ever written for, so I’d appreciate it if you could tell me why you like them so much. Anyways, I hope things are going great with you and that you’re getting ready for the holidays 😊

I love Tywin and Joanna because this ship is ASOIAF in its simplest form, stripped down to the bare bones, the meaning made plain.

In my opinion, ASOIAF is different from a lot of other fantasy I’ve read because it doesn’t focus on a magic system, and it doesn’t focus on a great war (we still barely even know anything about the Others).

ASOIAF is different; ASOIAF is about what makes us human. (Even GRRM’s term for the enemy, Other, comes back to this central theme of our humanity, because it suggests that humanity is fighting against something other than human beings, something un-human, something inhumane.)

Tywin is one of the most un-human human beings in the entire series. He’s also the villain that we get the most information about, and he still looms large over the text even in death. (Even in the brief glimpses of TWOW that he’s shared, GRRM keeps bringing him up.) GRRM has shown us all of these monstrous things about Tywin, but in doing so, he’s made the tiny glowing embers of Tywin’s humanity burn like the beacons of Minas Tirith.

It’s our joy and our love and our laughter that make us human. It’s our sorrow and our pain. But more than all that, our humanity is the connections we make to other people. It’s shared joy, shared love, shared laughter. Shared sorrow. Our compassion. To build a society is to connect people, to share with others. Tywin and Joanna is a society of two.

(That weirwood net of shared consciousness fascinates me - it’s an idea GRRM has written about before in his other works, and he keeps coming back to it.)

So those handful of smiles: for his wife, for the birth of his (first two) children, for his greatest accomplishments (gruesome as they are).

And the pain in this passage: “when Aerys II announced Ser Jaime's appointment from the Iron Throne, his lordship went to one knee and thanked the king for the great honor shown to his house. Then, pleading illness, Lord Tywin asked the king's leave to retire as Hand.”

And the utter and absolute pain in this one: “With her death, Grand Maester Pycelle observes, the joy went out of Tywin Lannister, yet still he persisted in his duty.”

It’s like a shot glass filled with sorrow. In AGOT through ADWD, the sorrow in those books is slow; it’s (mostly) meant to be sipped, and savored. But the way we experience Tywin’s pain, as GRRM writes it, it’s quick and it burns, and it burns out just as quickly as we move on to Tywin’s next atrocity.

So, for me at least, Tywin and Joanna are like a distilled version of ASOIAF. It’s the moments we share that make us human, and when Joanna died, Tywin’s humanity died with her.

That might not be the most helpful thing for writing a fanfic, so let me give you some other reasons:

My favorite short story is “The Last Rung on the Ladder”. I think I first read it ~20 years ago, and it still haunts me. It hurts. It’s about a brother and sister. It’s about taking things for granted, about the people we depend on, and about what happens when those people are no longer there.

“You're my big brother. I knew you'd take care of me.” “Oh, Kitty, you don't know how close it was.” [...] “No,” she said. “But I knew you were [...] there.”

Maybe this applies to Jaime and Cersei too, and Tywin/Joanna are just a different iteration, but it’s what keeps me coming back: what happens when the people you depend on ... the people you think are always going to be there ... what happens when those people -- those lifelines -- are gone?

Despite Tywin being (imo) a very social person, I think Tywin had very few real friends. In addition to being his wife, Joanna was Tywin’s friend, someone he could talk to, and confide in, and trust. Someone who made it all real. Someone who made it worth it.

And I think Tywin thought Joanna would always be there, the same way that everyone in AGOT-ASOS thought Tywin would always be there, “eternal as Casterly Rock”. I think Tywin always imagined that Joanna would outlive him, like it never occurred to him that she would die first, but instead she died when he was in his early 30s. That’s life-shattering to have the rug pulled out from under you like that.

Similarly, I think Joanna had this idea that she and Tywin would be together, but instead he was “often away”. We’re told that they were children together at Casterly Rock, but then at ~10 Tywin was sent away to be Aegon V’s cupbearer, and later he went away to war on the Stepstones, and then after her wedding Joanna had to be sent away because of Aerys, and we have Tywin sent to Lys at some point. What did it mean to her, that Tywin wasn’t there? For Joanna, I don’t necessarily think that Tywin not being there was entirely a bad thing, at least eventually, although I imagine it was painful at first. I think these forced separations from Tywin allowed her to grow, allowed her to eventually rule the Westerlands in Tywin’s name while he was away.

The thing that I always think of when I think about Tywin and Joanna is this poem, “Mrs. Beast” by Carol Ann Duffy, and I always think of this line, “Bring me the Beast for the night. Bring me the wine-cellar key. Let the less-loving one be me.” The more loving one is Tywin in my mind, no doubt about it. (I played with this poem for Tywin/Joanna here.)

There’s this scene I imagine in my own fanfiction, about a year before Joanna’s death, where there’s these silent tears, this despair on Joanna’s face, and Jaime asks his mother why she’s crying, and she says, “Because your lord father is home.”

I think Joanna always loved Tywin, to the very end, but Tywin is a difficult person to live with. I think his homecomings eventually became bittersweet. On the one hand, the love of her life has come home to her across hundreds of miles through snow, through bandits etc, but on the other hand, whenever Tywin comes home, Joanna has to take a back seat. Tywin sucks all of the oxygen out of the room. Everyone has to take a back seat to Tywin: “It has been hard for Kevan, living all his life in Tywin's shadow. It was hard for all my brothers. That shadow Tywin cast was long and black, and each of them had to struggle to find a little sun.“

This is all kind of leading into another reason I like Tywin/Joanna in that it’s an exploration of gender roles, and the ... the limits that women are under in Westeros, even under the very best circumstances. With Joanna, she’s white, she’s filthy rich, she’s a top-tier noblewoman, she’s beautiful. Contrasted against Rhaella, Joanna has a husband who loves her so much that we get lines about Joanna ruling Tywin and how this man who never ever smiles smiled for her. But there are still limits. We’re told that Tywin was ruled at home by his lady wife. Joanna’s influence is restricted, it’s dependent on what power Tywin gives her. While Rhaella physically was confined to Maegor’s Holdfast, Joanna’s influence is confined to the domestic sphere.

Westeros is a broken place, one that’s always been broken into little pieces (Seven Kingdoms, not one). Westeros breaks people. Like Mrs. Beast in the poem, I think Joanna was able to forget, for a time, about the world’s abused women. She was able to forget that Westeros breaks people, and that it especially breaks women. I think Joanna thought she was the exception, that she would have more, achieve more, do more ... and eventually I think she hits a wall, realizing that Tywin is her limiting factor, even as he lifts her up and grants her the power to do.

It’s these limits that fascinate me about House Lannister as a whole. Like, the Lannisters are introduced to us as infinite. (Thinkin about this a lot lately.) Bottomless wealth, eternal life, unfathomable beauty, all I do is win win win. But over the course of the books GRRM knocks all of this down and shows us that there is a finite quality to House Lannister. Tywin dies. With Jaime, I think GRRM is exploring the limits of redemption imo. Cersei is going to hit a wall. It’s that the culture of House Lannister, their fundamental values -- they don’t work.

Tywin is the poster boy of Westeros - he is the feudal system, he’s the face of its misogyny, he’s the walking embodiment of classism and income inequality and privilege and everything horrible about Westeros.

I don’t think it was ever possible for Joanna to be dealt a winning hand with Tywin, The system is rigged against women, and a woman would have to break the system entirely to win. But Tywin is the system, so it just doesn’t work.

I think of Joanna as a tragedy.

um.

idunno if any of that is helpful, but i sure wrote a lot. Also, I really like power couples and courtly intrigue and stuff like the Borgias. Hopefully that helps a little bit, I’m so sorry.

If you want to read other stuff I wrote, I collect my Tywin x Joanna writings under this tag:

#tjmeta

And these tags might also be useful: #joanna meta and #tywin meta

I’m so sorry, please know that I will absolutely love whatever you write! There are so few fics of Tywin/Joanna that I am excited for anything.

(Also I hate Aerys and he can go fuck himself. I think that Tywin tried to see Joanna as a person, as much as a man in such a deeply misogynistic society can see a woman as a person. I think Aerys saw Joanna as a battlefield. Also I really hate the theory that Tyrion is Aerys’s. Really hate that.)

Ok, im sorry, ILU SANTA! I HOPE YOU ARE ENJOYING BEING DONE WITH YOUR FINALS AND HAVING A BREAK!!!

#tywin lannister #joanna lannister #tywin x joanna #joanna meta #tywin meta #tjmeta #lannister thoughts #secret santa #secret santa 2019 #got secret santa #the meaning of asoiaf

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davidmann95 · 5 years

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Velvet's battle is a great choice, though I'll always have a special place in my heart for the fight against the Grimm Deathstalker and the Nevermore in Episode 8. That said, what do you think of the individual members of Team RWBY?

I decided to wait on this until I caught up on the series thus far, which I just finished doing the night before last in pretty much the only time in my life I’ve ever really properly binged anything other than comics, and…wow. I knew RWBY was a thing just as a matter of course from being on this site and Youtube, and from watching Death Battle, so I picked up some major beats by osmosis. But my main impression was that it was a charming pseudo-anime online thing of decent quality that unsurprisingly got heavier as it went along as such things tend to do, with extremely rad fights and music along the way; figured it’d be more than serviceable to watch while I was on the treadmill as a disposable distraction from the agony of propelling my wheezing, sweating, loathsome meat-scaffolding forward.

I did *not* expect it to eventually end up after growing pains a - while far from flawless - intensely engrossing story of all-consuming personal and generational pain and people who choose to love and do the right thing in defiance of that trauma and loss and hopelessness, where also occasionally a corgi gets fastball specialed at mechas. Though once it became clear that’s what it is, it pretty clearly sat at an intersection of a hell of a lot of my favorite things, especially when characters copped in-universe in both the main series and spinoff material that this is basically a superhero thing. My initial impressions re: the fights and music were on-point though.

I actually have quite a few thoughts on pretty much all the protagonists of note at this point (other than I suppose Oscar and Maria. Like them both though, and I do hope that nice boy’s brain somehow doesn’t dissolve into the blender of Ozpin’s subconscious), but I’ll just stick with the core four here as requested for now unless someone asks otherwise. Weiss is the simplest to get at the core of, I’d say: her arc is learning that fuck rich people, actually. She’s a seriously difficult character to get onboard for at first - especially if you’re watching those first episodes for the first time in 2019 - as the mean unconsciously racist rich girl who learns to be less mean and racist but still kinda mean. But after you’ve extensively seen the hideously toxic environment she grew up in, and fully understand her efforts to grow past the empty values it inculcated in her in favor of everything she was raised to think of herself as above, she becomes a hell of a figure to root for. Assuming RWBY is gonna go, say, a respectable 10 seasons given it was just renewed through 9, I could easily see the upcoming 7th be the climax of her arc with her return to Atlas and likely further reckoning with the consequences of her families’ actions beyond how they’ve hurt her personally.

Yang is also, in a certain abstract narrative sense, simple, in that she’s built around the very oldest trick in the book for characters whose main deal is ‘can punch better than absolutely anyone’: give them problems that cannot be solved by punching. Except in her case it’s less a material “well, this person is invulnerable to punching!” or “well, actually this other person can punch most best of all” issue blocking her path than “punching cannot solve depression, abandonment issues, questioning whether what she considers her purpose in life is one she’s truly pursuing for noble reasons or if she even has the resolve for it anymore after what’s happened to her, or PTSD”. Yet, while it may not be the kind that manifests in the form of punching people with a smirk and a bad pun anymore (much as she still definitely does that all the time) what ultimately drives her and defines her is still her strength: to move forward, to forgive, to let go, to do the right thing in spite of the risks. Which could easily come off as some unpleasant “you just have to get over your moping!” dismissal - there’s a bit with her dad that means it saddles riiiiight up to the edge of that - but there’s a weight to how her traumas remain a consistent factor in her life and have shaped her outlook even as her circumstances and day-to-day disposition improve that makes it feel thematically like it’s coming from a place of acknowledgment and endurance rather than denial, even if it’s not handled perfectly. Great to see her apparently recapturing some more of her joie de vivre based on the trailer for Volume 7, and how that’ll interact with how she’s grown should be interesting.

Blake is…tough, because you fundamentally cannot talk about Blake without getting into the Faunus, which is maybe the biggest aspect of RWBY that leaves it in the realm of Problematic Fave. It really, really wants to have something substantial to say about the proper response to racism, and every now and then it pumps out a “capitalism greases the wheels of systemic oppression and vice-versa” or “it’s perfectly reasonable for the oppressed to seek to fight back directly against their oppressors, and even the pacifist in the room can recognize that’s a defensible approach that deserves its place”. But then Abusive Boyfriend Magneto literally murders nuance in Vol. 5 episode 2, and it descends into some borderline “but what about black on black violence” respectability politics shit. It’s the classic X-Men setup - this persecuted race of often superpowered folks torn between pacifism and efforts to prove themselves to their oppressors, and those who think they should rise up and annihilate the flatscans - with most of the same pitfalls, but also we haven’t had over 50 years to get used to that just being how it works here, and it doesn’t have the excuse of having to expand as best it can on a metaphor that was originally devised before most of the people currently handling it were born. All of which would be rough enough, but given I watched this right as Jonathan Hickman’s been completely refining the entire X-Men paradigm outside that outdated binary, it especially grates. I’d love to be directed to any solid counterarguments - I’ve heard it might actually be an analogue, and a well-done one, for The Troubles, which I am one million percent unqualified to evaluate - especially since apparently one of the writers grew up in a mixed-race household, and at the end of the day I’m a white guy who may well be talking completely out his ass. But it sure comes off at a glance as some well-intentioned dudes stumbling through stuff that’s not their business, and that’s inextricable from Blake’s character when so much of her story is her navigating through that metaphor. Hopefully with new writers coming onboard this is something that can be navigated more insightfully in the future.

On a purely personal basis however, Blake’s a standout in terms of relatability when her story comes down to a pretty universal shared horror: how to climb back from having fucked up. She tried really hard to do the right thing, was taken advantage of and led into doing things she eventually realized were wrong, was so shaken that she couldn’t tell who to trust, and then the situation spiraled out of control on every possible front just as things finally seemed to be stabilizing. The way a single mistake - enabled and exacerbated by an abusive past relationship in her case - expands into a self-loathing far beyond the bounds of anything she could possibly be responsible for is brutal and completely understandable, and seeing her start put her self-esteem back together with the help of those closest to her and the power of her original convictions is arguably the single strongest, most clearly conveyed individual character arc in the series. I’m very curious where it goes from here: Adam’s finish represents a logical climax and the setup for a happily-ever-after with Yang (or Sun if they end up going that way after all) for her to coast through the remainder of the series on, but the way emotional consequences have played out in the series thus far I doubt her demons are going to be put to bed that simply.

Finally there’s Ruby, and I am contractually obligated to note up front: she is clearly not a Superman analogue. There is precisely zero percent chance that she was conceived as such or was ever deliberately executed in such a way that mirroring him was kept in mind. Though she IS a super-powered idealist raised in the middle of nowhere with a significant deceased parent who wears a red cape, flies, gives inspiring rallying speeches, has black-ish but primary color-tinted hair, and has a mysterious birthright that involves being able to shoot lasers from her eyes, plus she has a dog who also essentially has superpowers, plus she tells someone they’re stronger than they think they are, plus Yang basically quotes a bit from Kingdom Come regarding her in Rest and Resolutions. But it probably goes a ways in explaining why she works so well for me.

There’s more to it than that of course, though it does bring up the closest way in which she relates to the superhero paradigm: she doesn’t go through an arc in quite the same way as the others, instead being an already solidly-defined character who is simply illustrated by how she interacts with the people and situations around her. She learns and grows and matures, but her most basic motivations and goals and outlook haven’t really changed since the day she enrolled at Beacon. She’s a good, caring person, a leader archetype who still has more than enough personality to spare to keep from falling into the genericism that can often plague that role. A big part of the key I believe is that she’s the audience surrogate in a profound way beyond the obvious touchstones of her frequent awkwardness and self-doubt: the reason she does this is because she was inspired by stories. She’s a fan, ultimately, but one who learned all the right lessons, whether recognizing from day one the way reality falls short of the tales she was raised on but still believing in the ideals they represent, or openly holding up Qrow as a role model while being willing to call him on his shit when push comes to shove. It’s a romantic, hopeful perspective that stands out sharply from even our other heroes even as it mirrors their struggles, but as of yet there’s little to suggest it comes from a place of naivete so much as a belief that it’s the only way to bear the pain of the world and continue to believe in it. Bit by bit it’s clear she’s heading for a breaking point, but all signs point to that being a matter of her ability to withstand what she’s been through, rather than any doubt that it’s necessary, and should that time come she’s inspired plenty who’ll be able to help her back onto her feet the way she has for so many others. So while I understand her speeches apparently grate on some, as far as I’m concerned keep them coming, they’re the beating caring heart of the series and often the sole respite in the eye in the storm.

#RWBY #Ruby Rose #Weiss Schnee #Blake Belladonna #Yang Xiao Long #Mental Health #Racism #Superman #Analysis #Opinion

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bob-dude · 5 years

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She Ra and Plus Sized Presentation Problem

Three seasons of She Ra and the Princesses of Power has dropped so I figure it’s time to talk about the most neglected character of the show.

And no, it’s not Kevin.

Instead, I’m going to talk about Spinnerella and plus-sized representation in the show.

Yes, really.

So, for those not in the know. This is Spinnerella.

Contrary to what both her name and bio implies, she does not spin around ala 1970s TV Show Wonder Woman in order to summon winds.

She is also clearly on the heftier side of things and has a ‘nice’ personality.

So, what’s the problem with the character?

Well, not that she’s rotund for starters. Unlike others online, how fat a character is in a show doesn’t bother me in the slightest. No, my issue with Spinnerella isn’t that she’s fat in the reboot.

My problem is how minor a character she is and how the show subconsciously fat shames her.

“But Bob,” You say. “The show is called She Ra and the Princesses of Power. Not Spinnerella and Friends. And how is reboot Spinnerella fat shaming? No one ever mocks her for her size/weight.”

Firstly, I think it’s fair to say that there can be more fat-shaming in fiction then outward mockery. And for two, I’m not saying that Spinnerella needs to be the MC in order to be good. She just needs to be more than just a literal background character who kinda sorta does stuff at the end of season one but still winds up being underwhelming.

Put another way, when you have one plus-sized good guy on your side (the Rebellion) and she’s treated like a background character and the moment she and her net throwing GF show up to finally help out one of the main heroes (Bow for anyone who cares) visibly deflates and go ‘Oh. It’s you guys.’ Well, that doesn’t strike me as a good thing when she’s your only plus-sized character on the hero side of things*.

Now, as for her design, I don’t mind Spin’s overall shape. It’s not how’d I design a plus-sized science fantasy female character, but I’m not working on the show, so the point is moot. I will say that I think her face could be a bit rounder overall, though. Her head as it is strikes me as just a thin character's head put on a larger character's body+.

As for sharing the same colors as Glimmer, eh. On the one hand, I get the pastels = girl show and the shades of dark/light purples and pink (or whatever shade that is) works alright with the wind motive as any, I suppose.

It just doesn’t stand out that much when, you know, Glimmer has a similar color scheme herself in the same show.

So why is all of this a problem?

Because the show constantly toots its own horn about how diverse it is, rather than letting its diversity speak for itself. Frankly, we can do better than SPOP Spinnerella as far as representation goes. Her personality is as bland as spam and her role is so minor you could edit her out of the show and nothing of value would be lost.

So how do you fix Spinnerella? the simplest answer for the show we got: Go into her and Net princess’ relationship. How do they become a couple? What drew them to each other? That and, you know, just have Spin Me Right Round just be on screen more doing stuff of importance then sitting at a table in the background.

Now, as for how I’d do Spinnerella, the answer is two-fold: Stronger personality and a larger (albeit not eclipsing role ala Catra levels)

My Spinnerella would be big and bold, think a plus-sized Rarity from FIM but with a different probably non-Mid Atlantic accent but something that still involves refinement and, well, royalty (a Princess that acts like a Princess, crazy thought, ain’t it?). She’s confident and self-assured thought, not exactly “sassy” (least we wander into ‘Sassy Black Woman’ territory for non-black character). She’s the type who would probably look down on someone with Aurora's military-like background for being ‘uncouth’ while wearing a different fancy elaborate dress in every episode she’s in. Then the season one finale would come and she would kick ass with her ballet Air bending moves, showing that she can throw down the same as the other princesses.

That, and I’d try to squeeze in an episode that focuses on Spinnerella’s kingdom/background, try and show why she’s so insistent on being fancy in a time of war with (to inspire her kingdom's people with an idealized image of a Princess’ power) the Horde and how she and Net girl became an item.

It’s just some broad strokes, mind you, but I feel pretty confident in thinking that even my semi hastily slapped together plan for Spinnerella’s character is better then what we’ve gotten in 3 (two technically but Netflix is gonna Netflix)

*No, SPOP Glimmer doesn’t count. Glimmer’s not fat, despite what some might think. She’s not really muscular. She’s just... generically thick? Her thickness does nothing to imply any sort of character unlike, say, Huntra’s muscular figure does. So generically thick is the best way I can describe my thoughts on her design.

+ yes, I know that thin-faced plus-sized people exist in real life. I’m just talking about it from a char design perspective.

#she ra reboot #she ra netflix #spinerella #SPOP #Plus sized representation in media #room for improvement

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beauchampx · 5 years

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ELIZABETH BEAUCHAMP // challenge four ( 2 // ? )

‘mbti test.’

RESULTS ;;

ENFP-T // Extraverted, iNtuitive, Feeling, Prospecting, Turbulent.

it doesn’t interest me what you do for a living. i want to know what you ache for – and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing. it doesn’t interest me how old you are. i want to know if you will risk looking like a fool – for love – for your dreams – for the adventure of being alive.

ORIAH MOUNTAIN DREAMER

the campaigner personality is a true free spirit. they are often the life of the party, but unlike types in the explorer role group, campaigners are less interested in the sheer excitement and pleasure of the moment than they are in enjoying the social and emotional connections they make with others. charming, independent, energetic and compassionate, the 7% of the population that they comprise can certainly be felt in any crowd.

more than just sociable people-pleasers though, campaigners, like all their diplomat cousins, are shaped by their intuitive (n) quality, allowing them to read between the lines with curiosity and energy. they tend to see life as a big, complex puzzle where everything is connected – but unlike analyst personality types, who tend to see that puzzle as a series of systemic machinations, campaigners see it through a prism of emotion, compassion and mysticism, and are always looking for a deeper meaning.

few personality types are as creative and charismatic as campaigners. known for their idealism and enthusiasm, campaigners are good at dealing with unexpected challenges and brightening the lives of those around them. campaigners’ imagination is invaluable in many areas, including their own personal growth.

making life spectacular

luckily, campaigners are open-minded and sincere enough in their friendships, and connect with and understand even their acquaintances well enough, that they recognize that not everyone expresses themselves in the same ways, and that that’s okay. their sensitivity may make it too challenging to play with more critical and argumentative personalities, such as strongly expressed thinking (t) and judging (j) types, but they do appreciate, even cherish, the company of most anyone who appreciates theirs, and the adventures and experiences they have together are the stuff a good life is made of.

ANALYSIS ;;

elizabeth feels so attacked right now. this test has proved to be about 95% accurate in lizzie’s case, the missing 5% being the lack of information around caution and the difficulties she sometimes faces in letting her curiosity continue once she has a negative experience with a person; to not hold grudges. the ability for the test to combine both lizzie’s need to explore and experience life alongside her passion towards caring for those around her is extremely informative, summarising her personality extremely well. even the list of weaknesses (listed below) is extremely telling.

what i find most interesting is the labelling her as ‘independent to a fault’, given how the majority of this description hints towards campaigners being social figures who thrive on communication with others as well as how they care for loves ones. lizzie has so far had a lot of experience with independence, thanks to her position at court and her failed betrothal, that she may struggle to give up that in future. it’s interesting to think that a test which has done so well at explaining lizzie’s current personality but may also give a glimpse at her future also, where her personality might lead her in the coming years.

campaigner strengths ;;

curious – when it comes to new ideas, campaigners aren’t interested in brooding – they want to go out and experience things, and don’t hesitate to step out of their comfort zones to do so. campaigners are imaginative and open-minded, seeing all things as part of a big, mysterious puzzle called life.

observant – campaigners believe that there are no irrelevant actions, that every shift in sentiment, every move and every idea is part of something bigger. to satisfy their curiosity, campaigners try to notice all of these things, and to never miss a moment.

energetic and enthusiastic – as they observe, forming new connections and ideas, campaigners won’t hold their tongues – they’re excited about their findings, and share them with anyone who’ll listen. this infectious enthusiasm has the dual benefit of giving campaigners a chance to make more social connections, and of giving them a new source of information and experience, as they fit their new friends’ opinions into their existing ideas.

excellent communicators – it’s a good thing that campaigners have such strong people skills, or they’d never express these ideas. campaigners enjoy both small talk and deep, meaningful conversations, which are just two sides of the same coin for them, and are adept at steering conversations towards their desired subjects in ways that feel completely natural and unforced.

know how to relax – it’s not all “nature of the cosmos” discussions with campaigners – people with this personality type know that sometimes, nothing is as important as simply having fun and experiencing life’s joys. that intuitive trait lets campaigners know that it’s time to shake things up, and these wild bursts of enthusiastic energy can surprise even their closest friends.

very popular and friendly – all this adaptability and spontaneity comes together to form a person who is approachable, interesting and exciting, with a cooperative and altruistic spirit and friendly, empathetic disposition. campaigners get along with pretty much everyone, and their circles of friends stretch far and wide.

campaigner weaknesses ;;

poor practical skills – when it comes to conceiving ideas and starting projects, especially involving other people, campaigners have exceptional talent. unfortunately their skill with upkeep, administration, and follow-through on those projects struggles. without more hands-on people to help push day-to-day things along, campaigners’ ideas are likely to remain just that – ideas.

find it difficult to focus – campaigners are natural explorers of interpersonal connections and philosophy, but this backfires when what needs to be done is that tps report sitting right in front of them. It’s hard for campaigners to maintain interest as tasks drift towards routine, administrative matters, and away from broader concepts.

overthink things – campaigners don’t take things at face value – they look for underlying motives in even the simplest things. it’s not uncommon for campaigners to lose a bit of sleep asking themselves why someone did what they did, what it might mean, and what to do about it.

get stressed easily – all this overthinking isn’t just for their own benefit – campaigners, especially turbulent ones, are very sensitive, and care deeply about others’ feelings. a consequence of their popularity is that others often look to them for guidance and help, which takes time, and it’s easy to see why campaigners sometimes get overwhelmed, especially when they can’t say yes to every request.

highly emotional – while emotional expression is healthy and natural, with campaigners even viewing it as a core part of their identity, it can come out strongly enough to cause problems for this personality type. particularly when under stress, criticism or conflict, campaigners can experience emotional bursts that are counter-productive at best.

independent to a fault – campaigners loathe being micromanaged and restrained by heavy-handed rules – they want to be seen as highly independent masters of their own fates, even possessors of an altruistic wisdom that goes beyond draconian law. the challenge for campaigners is that they live in a world of checks and balances, a pill they are not happy to swallow.

#crhs.challenge #these violent delights have violent ends. // headcanons.

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popias-gloves · 6 years

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sighh working on your request, it’ll be done p soon actually but in the mean time can i request the current era ghouls just cooking or helping their s/o in the kitchen? -ghostfacial

Aww yay! I know how that goes, I can spend a lot of time on asks if I let myself XD I love this idea! Thanks for the ask 😘

Aether: He’s got the basics down, so he’s happy to be your sous-chef and help prep everything so you can focus on the more complicated parts of the recipe. He takes orders well and works quickly, and stays out of your way when needed. While you wait for stuff to bake or simmer, he’ll be there holding you close and whispering about how happy he is just to spend quality time with you 😊

Cirrus: She’s very experimental in the kitchen, and has a natural way with using herbs to create lots of depth and flavor in her cooking. She keeps her dishes healthy, but you’d never know it based on how good they taste. She can be a bit of a control freak though so she’d prefer you just sit nearby and keep her company while she does most of the work 💪

Cumulus: Confection queen! Her specialty is baking. She can make any dessert you desire, from cookies to macarons to ornate pies and cakes. Her decorating skills are also on point; she’s a real artist with frosting. If you take care of the main course, you can be sure she’ll have something sweet for you afterward (literally and figuratively 😉)

Ember: Kitchen stuff kind of stresses him out when he’s expected to prepare food for others. He sticks to simple things that he knows he won’t mess up. If you’re the one cooking, he leaves you to it, but he’ll be peeking over your shoulder curiously to try and learn some new tricks. He also tries to distract you by kissing your neck or slipping his arms around your waist and cuddling you from behind 😘

Mountain: Master Chef Mountain, reporting for duty~ He’s the best cook out of all of them. He’s fully capable of whipping up gourmet dishes that will absolutely blow your mind. The flavors are so complex and pair so well together, everyone feels so lucky to have him around. And you especially are the luckiest, you get to try everything before anyone else, and he really values your opinion a lot 🥰

Multi: Don’t let him in the kitchen. Seriously, he’s a danger to himself and others, he almost burned the Abbey down on several occasions. You can only involve him in the simplest stuff, just be sure to keep a very close eye on him. He has a bad habit of thinking everything should be flipped like a pancake. He loves your cooking though, and he’ll happily devour anything you make for him 😋

Rain: As with most things, he feels much more comfortable having you around when he’s in the kitchen. He loves cooking together with you! He’s a big stickler for following the recipe exactly as it’s written though, so if you do want to customize things a little bit, just reassure him that you know what you’re doing and he’ll relax and trust your judgement. More often than not, he thinks your adjustment was exactly what it needed 🤔

Such a wholesome ask, thanks so much for sending it in @ghostfacial 🖤🖤🖤

#ask answered #headcanons #ghost #the band ghost #ghost bc #nameless ghouls #aether ghoul #cirrus ghoul #cumulus ghoul #mountain ghoul #multi ghoul #rain ghoul #ember #ember ghoul #fire ghoul

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sunlitmisfit · 3 years

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I posted 550 times in 2021

13 posts created (2%)

537 posts reblogged (98%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 41.3 posts.

I added 31 tags in 2021

#random tag - 6 posts

#b99 - 4 posts

#self depreciating humor - 4 posts

#poetry stuff - 3 posts

#brooklyn nine nine - 3 posts

#random text post - 3 posts

#rosa diaz - 2 posts

#writing - 2 posts

#art - 2 posts

#harry ron hermione - 2 posts

Longest Tag: 127 characters

#i want more of harry learning pranks from sirius and james to play on lily and remus already warning her so her reaction is meh

My Top Posts in 2021

and one of these days, I'll give you a whole day. I'll give you a whole day and I'll let myself drown in all the plenty memories I have of yours. I'll give you a whole day and remember our past. I'll give you a whole day and wonder where it went all wrong. I'll give you a whole day and admire life's control on us, how she can make anything happen to her will, how she can break up far away apart. I'll give you a whole day and think back to how my heart used to beat for you. I'll give you a whole day and at night, I'll say goodbye, because we never even got to do that. my heart remembers you like the back of my hand, and I think it always will. it apparently forgets plenty of things but you, never. one of these days, I'll give you a day and think of how your smile was the first ever smile that made my heart skip a beat. how your eyes connected with mine and somewhere I could hear an electricity buzz happening. they connected with you today. and I still heard the buzz. but I looked away. because now that buzz is not welcome. because now you're far away from me. I saw you today and my heart pinched me. I saw you today, and I wished to hear your voice just once again, but this time, it wasn't to hear my name in your voice, it was to hear a goodbye. I saw you today and I thought, one of these days, I'll give you a whole day.

4 notes • Posted 2021-10-26 19:27:15 GMT

when you get this, please reply five things that make you happy and send this to the last ten people in your notifications 💜

hey, thanks for asking me this question! ^^

five things that make me happy, mmhm. Imma go with the simplest answer I can think of. warning - it's big.

1. My Brother

My lil brother makes me so happy. Spending time with him doing crazy nonsense, dancing and jumping around, me playing with his hair and cheeks, me booping his nose or punching him on the arm, us beating each other up for fun, him torturing me with his lamest jokes of the world, me interrupting his video games for giving him a hug, him interrupting my shows and classes to give me a hug, us eating junk food together like crazy starved animals and basically us knowing that we have each other, a different and yet slightly similar version of ourselves. He makes me very happy, and even if I miss the younger version of him (who was the cutest child this world has ever had), I love who he is now.

2. My Playlists

So um, recently, I kinda went playlist crazy. I made sooo many playlists in Hindi and English both. And well, I love 'em. They're perfect and I have something for every mood now. I'm yet to make more (it's just so fun :p) but all that I've got till now resonate with me and well, nobody needs explaining why songs make you happy. (If you want the playlists, just say the word.)

3. My Friends

Last couple months or so, I have been troubling these 5 particular people more than ever. My individual friendships with each of them became so much better throughout this time and I'm just so happy to have them. Talking to them everyday and listening to their voices makes me so happy. I know this may have sounded silly but these are friends that have sticked with me while a couple of others unexpectedly left off. That's why I value my present friends more than ever. That, and the fact that one, they're so awesome that you can't put it in words and two, they bear the crazy mess I am. (s,s,r,a,a xoxo)

4. My Diary

This, omg this point. I started writing a diary this year. And yes, I agree that it can be a little asking if you're too busy in your schedule. But it's sooo worth it. I love my diary and I love the fact that I've stayed consistent with it. (I write on alternate days mostly.) There are always things that you cannot speak with people, that are just yours but you still need to talk about them or at least vent them. The diary enters the play there, playing the role of the perfect listener and secret keeper.

5. Little Sounds Of Life

Okay, hear me out. I study nearby a garden and well, all day I'm listening to birds and squirrels. It's so calm there that I can even hear the wind and watch the trees in the pretty garden dancing. These sounds mostly go unnoticed by me (studying, bruh) but when I sit to just listen to them, it grounds me, and makes me happier to be in that moment than you could imagine. The sounds of birds and squirrels, along with the sounds of people moving by and being, and well, the present moment, where everything is here, and everyone is okay, and you're breathing. You're alive, and you're living.

So yes, these are the five things that make me happy everyday. I am super grateful to have them and everything else that I got. 🌻

If anyone wants to add to this, go ahead! This is an open tag and I'd love to read your responses.

@reticencing I wanna read your answer, too!

4 notes • Posted 2021-03-08 02:19:13 GMT

if there was any way to snort music, I’d be high almost always

5 notes • Posted 2021-04-03 09:30:45 GMT

a friend of mine shot this video yesterday, of this transition from blue to black clouds and idk I found it so soothing, pretty and poetic that I asked him if I could post it here and here we are.

you know how they say that there's beauty in sadness, and that the journey matters? we can see that here.

6 notes • Posted 2021-05-18 03:08:53 GMT

who here has seen taylor’s documentary on netflix? I just saw it and I’m moved. her songs are way more than just music now. and I just, I had goosebumps and tears all along the watch. someone relate please.

15 notes • Posted 2021-05-31 17:05:23 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

#my 2021 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

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strawberryspeachy · 4 years

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K. I know alt stands for ASSITANT language teacher

But 2 things. 1) assitants fucking DO THINGS

2) the way they sell this job is like youre a teacher.

Constantly in this job i am treated like a clown.

And im gonna tag this and im probably gonna receive the same comments i get irl from rose tinted glassed ‘japanese people can do no wrong’ people

Thus far ive worked in 4 junior highs and 3 elementarys

Most of the teachers no matter where they are just seem so incompetent

Its no big deal that the teachers arent fluent in english - isnt that literally why alts are here??? So why don’t they ever take advice?!???

Im so fucking sick of being told how to speak my fucking language.

And not the ‘speak slower’ ‘speak simpler’ thats fine and ill accept criticism on my ability to communicate to people learning english as a second language. Not that.

Grammar, pronunciation, sentence structure - and what sounds natural

I hate the videos that are made for classrooms. And the fucking books

“A native speaker wrote it” - k no. Having worked here i know exactly how that went down. A japanese person wrote it, then went to either a business kiss ass ‘japan can do no wrong’ person. Or. Bullied someone into saying it was good by doing that annoying ass thing japanese people do

Where they ask the question over and over with “ok?” At the end. Cause they dont want an answer - they just wanna be told that theyre right or to do whatever they want. And they do not plan on receiving any answer besides “youre correct”

Its awkward cause ive literally been annoyed at my friend in the past for complaining about having a job where she does nothing and gets paid. Now i feel bad because i HATE going to work to sit and do nothing. But honestly - it has more to do with the fact that of all of my schools - only 1 has given me a nice place to sit.

Not a table that they store junk on and pretend to be surprised by me everytime im there like “oops sorry theres all this stuff (but like youre not a real person and we hate that youre here so just be happy we tolerate your existance and tell is your happy to have giant things all over your desk literally sticking in your face)”

Not the extra desk behind the printer that blows dust in my face as it goes off every 20 seconds

Not the desk under the aircon blowing on me/ in the corner next to the coldest window/door

Not a literal broken chair

Not a desk in the path of the class files where teachers have to constantly get to the spot directly behind me

And i was also that person thatd say ‘well if you dont like it - quit - theres plenty of people who WANT that job’

But like it fucking sucks. Cause i have experienced REALLY good teachers who actually team teach with you. I have had one school where i worked full time and got to see my students more than once a month - hence being able to actually get to know them and want them get better. I have been at a school with wonderful staff who welcome me into the school like im an actual person - not like ‘oh is today already the day we let the rat in the school to make the children smile again. Ugh.’

It fucking sucks. I linger on the hope of being able to work at a good school with good teachers full time

I cant find a better job because im a ‘beginner’ and corona

And im stuck getting treated like shit

I AM NOT a kiss ass. Never have been. It kills me to have to work with people who dont want me around

Most of the teachers i work with ARE NEVER PREPARED like wtf why??? Why dont you EVER plan ahead??? When im not prepared its because i have to wait to get instruction from you - you get to chose what you do

And they do basically nothing (not all like ive said ive worked with good teachers)

But most just

Read the book OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN. The students memorize the book passages - they have no clue about the context and if you ask them the same exact question but with a different subject like “do you have any shoes” instead of “do you have any bags” theyre lost. The teacher can get them to answer by saying the exact phrase from the book - but they dont know what theyre saying or how theyre actually answering. They just have it memorized

Then some teachers will have “conversation practice” where they take those exact sentences out if the book - put them together to form an awkward ‘conversation’ and then the students just read it.

Ooohhh look at them. Having a conversation!

Play fucking bingo.... why? They dont even make the students repeat the words for pronunciation practice - why the fuck do you play bingo everyday

Sing songs. UGHHHHH yea that could be fun if these 60 year old teachers would stop forcing shit from the 1940s on the teenage students. I cant decide if music too old for 30 year olds is worse or teachers who take japanese songs that have been translated into english is - lol you fucking hate english so much you cant find ONE english song to sing??? WHY are you teaching english?! - god forbid you let the students choose

Teachers who just give the students the day date and weather....??????????? Cool. Youve managed to ensure they cant come up with the simplest of fucking English questions on their own. Do you carry around those cards to look like you do a lot at your job when you dont? Oh yea probably

Because being in a school watching teachers is the way i learned that japan values looking busy over being productive. If you look stressed and busy all day - you are better than a person who got shit done but looked relaxed.

Why do you use the recordings when i am in the class?????????????????????????????????? THATS LITERALLY THE ONLY REASON YOU APPARENTLY HAVE ME THERE

K and like i said. I have worked with good teachers. In their classes the students are better at english (hur hur funny how that works) those teachers encourage the students to talk with me. Those teachers let the students try to come up with answers and questions on their own. Those students try and ask the teacher when they dont know how to say something to help with translation.

The shit teachers on the other hand - will jump in and stop a student who looks excited to try and trying to figure out how to say something. What does this teach them? Dont try. Just stay silent - the japanese teacher will just talk in japanese again soon - no need to try.

Jumping off that. Students who are good at english or go to juku - will dumb themselves down in classes with shitty teachers. Theyve learned its not good to know more or even nearly as much english as the teacher - pretend you dont understand. Pretends you don’t know how to say things - itll make my stupid teacher feel good. So. If i try to talk or do anything in those classes, even the students who understand will stop trying.

Speaking of just going back to japanese. WHY IS MOST OF ENGLISH CLASS IN JAPNESE???? Most of the teahers will jump at ANY chance to switch back over into japanese. English is just sprinkled into the class. Then they pretend to wonder why the students dont try and why theyre bad at english

And things ive been told in the last year

Dont ever be upset about anything ever

Lol yea just that for one

K but dont ever be upset about teachers doing ANYTHING because theyre just so GOSH DARN BUSYYYYYYYYY

Lol like intially i thought that was why ASSISTANT was in my title. I THOUGHT we were supposed to make them less busy by helping out with planning and grading and blah blah

Nope cause

‘Oh offer to help them! BUT dont be upset when they decline because theyd have to explain to you ANYTHING and.....’

So. Im a child?! I cant be trusted to do anything without proper instruction

Well yea exactly cause

“Oh! Hes probably your babysister haha! Japanese people are so nice! They usually have one teacher look out for you and help you with stuff - besides the head teacher- lol theyre kinda like your babysitter!<3”

K. So like. I need a bachelors degree for this job. Let me say again I NEEDED A COLLEGE DEGREE FOR THIS JOB. i had to move ACCROSS THE WORLD by myself. I have to ge able to fill out federal documents and find a house and pay my bills and follow foregn laws and figure out my way in a foregn country - but i need a BABYSITTER at work?!?!?!?? If im a minute late ill be docked an hours pay. If i do ANYTHING that slightly upsets ANYONE and japanese ppl are offended by EVERYTHING - i am liable for all reprucussions. But. I need a BABYSITTER.

Cant be trusted to be in a class alone (dont be offended its because your not a certified teacher) that would make sense except that YALL THROW ALTS IN WITH THE SPECIAL NEEDS STUDENTS ALL THE TIME - thats supposed to be an EXTRA certification on top of teaching. but Im too fucking stupid and untrustable to do anything with regular students alone, but because you dont like dealing with spefial needs - i can teach them alone.

You dont actually read their hw or check for correctness and most of their tests are just for fun it seems - but i cant be trusted to grade those either

You do the exact same lesson everyday and i only see each class once a month - but dont let me create any activity or lesson for them. Also dont tell me your plans until class is starting and then change it throughout the class and act surprised when idk what the fuck youre doing because you changed your mind while talking at them in japanese

Speaking of changing. I hate teachers who constantly change how they do shit. And again. Get annoyed at me when i cant follow their flow. Do i say hello first or do you? Are we even saying hello today? Am i asking how they are or are you? Are we letting them answer? Are we answering? Whose asking the day date and weather? Are we asking them for the day date and weather?? Whose saying goodbye? Are we saying goodbye? Which bingo version have you chosen today? Are they repeating the words? Yes? No? Am i saying each one twice? Do i have to spell out the fucking word today? Fast? Slow? What hell are you putting me through today

And when they ask me to take charge of an activity. But then change their mind. But then no no you go ahead please take charge. K no just kidding ill tell you and them what to do. Actually no you can keep going please be in control. K no too much english i wanna hear more japanese ill be in control - hey everyone thank the alt for doing that activity with you (me and the students look at each other visibly confused)

These teachers will ask me a question and no matter how i answer its wrong. I always answer shortly initially because... of course. But theyll tell me to GO ON!!! theyll keep doing that. So ill start answering questions with substance - then theyll cut me off - so i go back to answering shortly but NO! CONTINUE!!! im constantly caught confused exactly what they want me to say and now i barely ever tell stories to the students. I stare at the jte the whole time trying to guage by their face if i should keep talking or make it short. Its also awkward cause sometimes they jump in to translate and other times they want me to just keep talking in english with no translation. Regardless whatever way i choose is never correct and they always look at me like im an idiot

Yesterday a teacher did one of the things inhate that prompted this I WANNA WRITE ABOUT HOW MUCH I HATE THIS JOB

Hes a sub. Hes supposed to do the same lessson as the other teachers. He is NEVER prepared. And he does everything bad. So when he didnt have the stuff for the activity he said he wants the students to have conversations with me. GREAT! thats what im here for! Lets do it. So then he shows them videos he has of other students talking with an alt at another school for 5 minutes. Um.... k. Then we open the book to a page of 3 example convo starters. Except. Japanese teachers dont seem to understand that the book is meant to be EXAMPLES. he says ah like this but maybe change. Good ok! I think were on the right track. Lets read these examples and get to it. Nope. He has them have the example sentences with their partner saying its good practice.

No. Its not. Theyre just reading the book and then when they finish saying

“Do you know any good restaurants around here?”

“Yes i do! Theres a curry place over there”

“oh i love curry!”

Theyre not gonna make up more at the ......

Theyre just gonna talk in japanese about other shit.

Then he says ok lets have conversations. Finally

Nope.

He has the class repeat after him together as a unit to me “do you know any good restaurants around here?”

GFFEIWBAKDHWNDGDIEBS RAGEEEE

I said ive had convos in class before may i try like before

He feigns confusion

I ask a student “what kind of food do you like?”

She says sushi

“What kind of sushi”

The students in this class were excitable and chimed in each time.

This time (as usual because they dont know the fish names in english) She begins talking with the kids around her trying to figure out what the english word is for the sushi she likes

But the teacher jumps in and shuts it all down

Because the students are just way too shy to talk in front of the class. Their english is too bad. They cant.

Its extra aggrivating because the teachers at this school range from good to decent - except him. That was a second year class. The last time i was at this school the first years had a introduction 1 on 1 test - with me. And i was to ask them a question at the end. With the other 3 teachers when i asked the question if they didnt understand. I would try saying it in another way. If they still didnt understand - i would answer my question as an example. If they still didnt understand i would give them answers like

“What tv do you like” “do you like anime?” Wait for yes or no “do you like youtube” wait for yes or no (and so on)

If they still didnt understand (very few got here) the japnese teacher would translate the question)

And. If they still didnt understand. We would give them an answer and coax them into repeating after us.

If they didnt. Then they didnt get the point for answering the question.

This teacher. Him being the 4th teacher to do this test with me. Would IMMEDIATELY translate the question if the student didnt answer quickly after me asking it once and then talk to them in japanese and tell me their answer or make one up to me with something like “oh ahah they dont know when yet. So he doesnt know. Maybe he ate breakfast before school!” And then would shoo the student away and call in the next.

^^^ and this is how most teachers are

They sit during class. They play unrelated videos. They spend half the class acting like theyre too confused about their plan to even teach the class (but if i try to do ANYTHING like talk to a student while they sit in front of the class rummaging through their folder going “うーん」「じゃ」「じゃあー」「そして」「それから」「えーとー」 theyll instruct SOMETHING or play some recording over and over) have i mentioned how they never seem to want to talk in english or listen to students talk in english in english class?? Most of the time theyre just having aside conversations about nonsense in japanese. They read everything themselves despite me being there - in a way where they really just wannt hear themselves talk in english.

Just in general. I hate when teachers talk about me in front of me and dont tell me what the fuck theyre saying. And it’s annoying when students ask them stuff in japanese about me and then the students look at me waiting for me to respond/the teacher to translate their question- but the jte doesnt translate. Or they ask a question that im not in charge of the answer for so even though i understood the question they asked the jte i cant answer them because its not my decision and the jte doesnt wanna look like the asshole that gives them an answer they dont like so they just dont respond so that i look like the dick whose ignoring the students

They do this with regular questions too. Sometimes i hear the whole question and understand. So when the students look to me and the jte goes silent - i answer - then the jte gets all out of sorts because 1) they wanted me to look like an asshole who doesnt wanna talk to the students 2) they deemed the questions not important and didnt want it answered 3)ew! The alt knows more japanese than i thought and she knows what im doing and thats a little embarrassing also what else have i said in front of her today that she might have understand - awkward 4) oh no if students know she understands some japanese they might ask her stuff and i wont be the only means of the alt and students communicating 5) that awk silence just showed the students that i didnt plan to translate something to her and i wanted to blame her and say she doesnt wanna answer that but now i was made a liar of

These arent personal queations btw. For example a student asked why does the guy in one peice eat a lollypop in the america version instead of smoke a cigarette?

This is an incomplete liste. Just. Honestly being an ALT is draining.

I feel like im at a restaurant again just waisting my life away waiting tables.

I actually really like english so being forced to listen to people who are supposed to teach it - purposely teach it wrong and force me to use it incorrectly hurts

I hate watching people suck at their jobs....and be rewarded for sucking at their job

I hate feeling like an outsider in my workplace.

I wanna feel like a real teacher.... not a clown

I hate doing something where nothing i say, do, or feel matters.

That last one. I hate that i can be treated like shit in my workplace AND get in trouble for not thanking people FOR treating me like shit. Not just take it. Take it with a smile!!!

I try to focus on the good things... but its just so damn hard cause ther far and few between and honestly i just wanna feel like im actually an educator to my students and like i can actually be a teacher with the ones who like me and come talk to me and stuff. But its not like i have have a teacher student relationship with them - i cant be part of their school activities. I cant go to their school events. I wont be at the school with them for more than a year.

Even at good schools when the teachers like that you talk with the students - i always feel this vibe of ‘keep it superficial’ dont become an adult they would trust. Its like you can feel them watching - ready to jump in when they think the student should stop petting the stray before they get fleas

I have a lot of teachers i remember fondly. Who id talk to when i saw them even when i didnt have their class anymore. Id tell kids in grades below me that they were lucky if they got them. When i hear about things happening at the school after i leave im happy to hear they got something good. Teachers who helped me understand something better or were just nice to the obvious loser in the class or made me laugh

I wanna be one of them....

Not the police man that came into school a couple times. Or the guy with the birds. Or the nice lunch lady who let you take food when you didnt have money and pay it back the next day.

I wanna be a teacher with a name.

Or at least. Do one of the only things im actually good at

So this job is unfulfilling

#alt

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ellalovertay · 4 years

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According to my birth certificate, I turn 18 this year. It's weird because I am now a legal adult and can do legal adult things… whoa. Through 18 years of my life I've had many ups and downs, mistakes and accomplishments and laughs and tears. So as my “kid” years come to an end and my adult years pave the path ahead of me, I thought I'd share some lessons I've learned before reaching 18. Because it's 2020 and sharing is caring.

I've learned (and am still working on) accepting that it is okay not to be okay. When people ask you “how are you doing” there is nothing wrong with the response of “I'm not doing so good.” I know how hard it can be to express honesty and feel vulnerable but that’s human emotion, it's good. There is nothing wrong with not being okay, and you are allowed to experience that, it shouldn't be something that is feared. Next time you feel like that, say, “I'm not fine right now but I am going to be fine soon.”

I found what makes me happy. Like not just a, “Oh yeah I’m great today” kind of feeling, but a lifelong happiness feeling. I've been writing songs since I was 9 years old and in the past 6 months, songwriting has been the only thing keeping me on my feet and putting a smile on my face. Lyrics from other artists (shoutout to Taylor Swift Selena Gomez and Halsey) have always spoken and resonated deeply with me. So when things in my life started going downhill, I wrote my own lyrics. I hope one day people will experience my lyrics and they will be able to help someone like they helped me.

Trust is important. In any type of relationship with friends, family, pets etc, trust is key. A lot has happened in my life recently. Over the course of 6 months I've completely lost my trust in everyone and everything. I'm slowly working on building it back up again and learning how I can trust... but that is easier said than done.

It's okay to be confused about what's going to happen in the future. I have changed what I want my job to be at LEAST 5 times since 9th grade. Some examples include a marine biologist, a BAU member in the FBI, a criminologist, and a neurologist. Of course all of these things strike interest in me and make me happy, but I can't see myself there in 10 years. I've learned music is important to me and I want to study song/lyric writing along with vocals and music industry in college, with hopes to become a singer/songwriter.

Halsey has KILLER music. I knew around 3 of her songs before her album “Manic” dropped. I stayed up for release, downloaded the whole thing, listened to it and fell in love. Then tour tickets dropped, I got early access and I bought them in english class. She is really phenomenal and I love her dearly.

Some people in life will backstab you, others will stand by your side. But true friends will talk sh!t about the backstabbers and want to kick their asses for you. I've found that person and I'm so glad that she is in my life. And for once in my whole life, I feel like I have a best friend who won't just drop me.

I’ve learned you don't owe anybody an explanation. If someone asks,” How are you” and you say, “Not good” you are not entitled to state why. That is for you and your mind to know. If your best friend asks “do you want to come over/” and you say “no” Guess what… you DON'T owe them an explanation as to why! Don't ever feel pressured to explain things to people about yourself or situations you're in.

I'm literally a spot on Libra. My star sign is SO COOL! Up until June I never cared about my sign or horoscope, but when I found out the Libra symbol was the “Scales of Justice…” I read up on some stuff. I was SHOCKED by how much I fit my sign. Example being: we get irritated when people ask us stupid questions... Like if that isn't me then what is???

Being 18 means I get to vote! With everything going on in the world right now i've taken to educating myself as much as possible before november. I'm undecided (edit: not anymore😆) and excited but scared.

When your parents say, “Don't talk to strangers online” don't listen. I've made some of my best friends online (through Taylor, omg shocker) and I don't know what I would do without them. So here's a toast to my real friends: Vivian, Ella, Emily, Jordan, Delaney, Megan, Shannon, Sophie, Lauren, Brooke, Addison, Lexi, Hayley, Ry, Mikayla, Liv, Meghan, Rachel, Kaylee, and so many more <3

I've learned that everything happens for a reason. When I got confirmed, the idea that “everything happens for a reason” really stuck with me. The belief only grew stronger after I attended Kairos in November 2019. I truly believe God has a plan and everything happening in my life is going to end up being a part of some greater, master plan. God gives the hardest battles to his strongest warriors and just know that the shadows can’t last forever. Storms help the flowers flourish, and afterwards comes a rainbow.

My mom is a warrior.

Taylor Swift. That's it. That's the tweet. Very long story short I’ve listened to Taylor since fearless in 2008. Thanks mom! In 2012, when “RED” came out, I memorized lyrics and wanted concert tickets. The same thing in 2014 with “1989.” It wasn't until “reputation” in 2017 that I understood the “fandom” and became a full on swiftie. Fun fact: I have a stan account on twitter, tumblr and instagram where her management team follows me! Taylor has helped me through so many hard times. Her and her music have made me laugh, smile, cry, and dance. She is one of the only constants in my life and she treats her fans like her best friends. I have made so many friends through her that I can't wait to meet. And one day, I will meet Taylor Swift.

I can play instruments! I learned the ukulele when I was 12 because Tess was learning guitar. I hated it. I felt so trapped and the instructor was sooo mean. I wanted to play chords and sing Taylor Swift. Nope. He had me playing strings to old folk music. Long story short I quit.About 2 years later i picked it back up from the depths of my closet and taught myself strings. I got bored and put it away. On july 25th 2019, I picked it back up and this time, I fell in love. I quickly learned chords and by september, I was writing my own music. I thought to myself, “guitar cant be that hard” so I went and took tessa's guitar. I hated it. It was way to big and my hands were far too small. Then, a few months later I tried again. No change. Quarantine was now here and I was bored out of my mind. So… guess what I did on March 19th 2020… learned guitar and fell in love. Now, I'll play until my fingers bleed. Guitar and Ukulele make me so happy and the moral of the story is that if at first you don't succeed, try and try again.

Karma is real. If someone does something sh!tty to you, it will come back to bite them in the butt. Trust me.

I am tiny. Sadly, I'm done growing and I've been done since 8th grade. I'm forever 5 foot ½ inch- the ½ is VERY important. Also my foot size is forever a 4. Basically it sucks. I can't find any shoes that aren't pink, sparkley, have a 1 inch heel and glow up. With that being said s/o to Nordstrom rack for carrying my size.

I've learned to take in every moment. You never know when you won't be able to do the simplest things. Everyday we take so many things for granted. So just let every second of everyday sink in and let it resonate with you because there will never be another moment like that one.

I learned that I am allowed to format my own opinions. The beliefs that I have and I value don't have to be the same as everyone else's beliefs: especially my family and friends. I have come to the realization that I view situations in a different light than those around me and it's 100% okay for me to speak my mind. As a young girl I am allowed to grow up and base my social, personal and political opinions on what I believe is right and wrong, not what other people push me to believe.

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agilenano · 4 years

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Agilenano - News: Rising with the Tide - What’s it Really Like to Live on a Boat?

DOWN SIZING TO A COMPLETLY NEW LIFE AFLOAT Would you move from a 3,000 square ft house to a 350 square ft boat? In our former life we had a beautiful historic timber house - 280 square metres, (3,000 square feet) on nearly 2000m2 (half acre) of land. We raised our children there with one even getting married on the grounds. Once the kids all flew the coop, it was much more than two people could ever need and we also found ourselves spending a very large proportion of our very valuable non-working time keeping up the never ending house maintenance, lawns, gardens and pool. We were spending at least one day of every weekend maintaining the home and the rest of the week going to work to pay for the chunk of it the bank still owned. We had loved our time living and raising our family in this beautiful home but it was time to change. We told family or friends we had decided to downsize, however none really understood just how down in size we were planning. A beautiful family home that was keeping us working up 60 hours a week. We weren't talking about a smaller house or apartment. We were selling up and quitting the office for a new life afloat. We began sailing full time in 2011 crewing on other people boats to gain experience and cruised through South East Asia and then Europe. This lead us to teaming up with a crew mate to buy a yacht in Spain and sail the Mediterranean for a couple of years. In truth, it all felt like some sort of extended holiday after our decades in the workforce. You can read all about it in earlier chapters of our blog. With SV Alcheringa sold in Sicily, we then returned to Australia to find our forever boat which turned out to be a Whitby 42 cutter rigged ketch. We have now officially lived on Our Dreamtime for over 5 Years!! Can you believe it? People ask us a lot of questions and now we feel at least a little qualified to speak about the live aboard lifestyle. First of all if you are one of those who thinks living on a boat is "roughing it" think again. Some boats out there have all the modern facilities including washing machines, driers, microwaves, air-conditioning, heating and even satellite TV. A problem is that you cane way too much of your money buying the big boat with all the mod-cons then not really have the funds to go cruising. We do have a very comfortable boat but made sure we bought what we could afford. We chose to keep things more simple. The more gadgetry you have onboard, the more energy you need to supply and the more maintenance required. Good advice we read was to buy the smallest, simplest boat you will be comfortable on. On SV Our Dreamtime, the two of us can easily cruise for months at a time without needing to come into a land base to refuel, buy food or replenish water tanks. Here’s some of the questions we’ve been asked about our lifestyle: What's it REALLY like to live on a boat? Our Dreamtime at anchor in the Whitsunday Islands Do you feel cramped? Usually no. We have plenty of room for the two of us. The old saying “cabin fever” is a well known saying for a reason. The only time we really feel a bit cramped is when we are trying to do “jobs” onboard. This can mean having the boat pulled apart trying to get to the repair or upgrade but also reaching tools and equipment that are often stored in awkward places to access. It’s not uncommon to have floors walls and furniture all pulled apart just to change a water pump. Extended wet weather is another time “cabin fever” can set in. Being below when the whole boat closed up can be a little more claustrophobic than having the windows closed in a house. You can get a bit frustrated, especially when you are living on anchor and can't simply step off the boat. So yes, we can feel cramped sometimes but not normally. If you currently feel cramped during the COVID19 lockdown well maybe living on a boat is not for you. How do you entertain? So far the most people we’ve had on the boat at one time is 11, and it was a squeeze. Everyone sat with no real movement other than from Karen serving drinks and food from the galley below. Because we have a couch that seats 4 comfortable or 6 cozy at the dinner table we limit our entertaining to intimate groups for dinner or drinks in the cockpit. We love to BBQ on the aft deck and this also allows us to entertain quite well with a small group of guests. When we have guests stay aboard again it is really only 2 guests at a time. When we are sailing in groups we find that we congregate on the beach for drinks and nibbles watch the sun go down and then venture back to our own boats. We call it “Sundowners”. Entertaining on the aft deck is really one of our favourite places to be on a glorious day sharing food and wine with friends. We don't miss out on the opportunity to spend time with friends. It quite the opposite we gravitate to each other to enjoy each others company. You are always meeting new people from all walks of life. Where do you eat? We have three areas on the boat that we dine. Below we have a fold down table in the main salon that seats a cozy 6. In the cockpit we have added a removable table that seats a comfortable 4. And we have a small table that also doubles as a fish filleting table on the aft deck that we love to use for “Sundowners” and when we BBQ. z Dinner whether it be for 2 or 6 is always an occasion on Our Dreamtime What is the biggest problem with living on a boat? Wet weather. Wet weather, Wet weather ...... when you are living on the hook you are constantly at the perils of the weather. So you will be forced to move anchorages to find a safer or more sheltered position when the weather changes. This can sometimes be a daily reality if the weather is not settled. Anchoring has its own worries, especially with the occasional storm front that comes through. This means we are awake for the storms duration, whatever time of night or day. You just can’t leave the boat and go off for days exploring unless you know the boat is well secured. If we are intending on leaving the boat for an extended period we need to find a secure swing mooring or put her in a marina. Both can be costly. Friends just don’t drop on by for a coffee, everything is pre planed and this sometimes is hard to coordinate. The only thing that is even remotely uncomfortable for us right now is we both have had some minor medical issues and coping with these onboard gives you a big appreciation for the good health we thankfully normally have. Fitness is something you do need on a boat. We are not saying you need to be a marathon runner, but we climb ladders constantly we hop on and off into a dinghy and jump onto docks etc ... so a level of fitness is required. How is living on a boat different from apartment living? Well, personally, we’ve only stayed in an apartment during holiday times. In terms of space, it really isn't that much different. But living on a boat is different than an apartment in the same way as owning or living in a single-family home: you don't have people on top of you, or right next door to you, or below you. Unless of course you are living in a marina which then it is similar to apartment living because of close proximity to neighbours. We are currently in a marina, and it took a little getting use to. If it weren’t for the fact that we needed to return to work for a short time to rebuild the cruising fund we would not live in a marina. One major difference between the two is, that when you're out cruising, if you don't like your neighbours you can just pick up the anchor and move. If you get sick of the scenery same thing just move. What was the hardest adjustment? It’s letting go of things. We had throughout our life together collected stuff. Some of that “stuff” has sentimental value like the painting we bought in Monmarte Paris, on our 13th wedding anniversary. Or the porcelain dinner service that we had so many great dinner parties with. The only thing that we really refused to give up when moving onboard was decent crockery and crystal glassware - everyone said you can only have plastic onboard. Well we have bucked the trend and eat on real plates. You find ways to bring sentimental with you. Most of it just isn’t in the form of “Stuff”. We also say where possible, everything onboard should have two uses to save on space. For example, Karen uses her crystal champagne flutes as scone cutters. Who would of thought that a scone cutter could be so classy Did you also feel a bit of relief about getting rid of clutter? Yes, and it is because, we Aussies especially, have so much stuff that we don't even usually know what we have. Like us in the past, we're sure you've had that feeling of cleaning out a cupboard and thinking, oh, my, I didn't even remember that I had that. Well, if you don't remember that you have it, you probably don't need it. There's some pain if it's something that's sentimental, but you find other ways to keep those things in your memories, despite having to purge your "stuff" and limit new purchases. Your memories really aren't tied up in the things but experiences. We admit we are not minimalists, and we do have material possessions that bring us joy. We have a collection of artwork onboard. We have “Nic-nacks”. Mainly through Karen wanting a homly feel to the boat. It’s really not about how many things but rather which things. It's really more about living than it is about counting your possessions or square meterage. Karen adds a homely touch with artwork and gifts from around the world. So talking about size. How big is the boat in square meterage? The boat is 12.3 meters long and at her widest she is 4 meters. We lose quite a bit of space at the pointy end “bow” and the blunt end “stern”. In this compact space we however fit two cabins with double beds each with their own en-suites, including toilet, shower and hand basin. Both cabins have hanging space and lockers for clothes. The aft cabin is our's which features our own ensuite, plenty of storage but a bunk that gives Karen a yoga workout each morning just to make The main living area has a dining table as previously mentioned, and a separate lounge that can also be a single bunk when required. We have plenty of storage in this area both under the seating but also 3 built in bookcases, a cocktail cabinet and a locker that hides away the pivotal TV/DVD/Blueray with surround sound. Rob has a navigational station which is really his desk for writing and vlogging, but it contains our important navigational equipment, radio, radar, AIS, Chartplotter, Satellite Phone, Internet services and computer, The galley “kitchen” is very compact, at 1.5m by 1.5m, but very user friendly. We have a four burner stove with oven and grill, 90lt Fridge and a separate freezer of 95lt. Double sink, built in rubbish bin, pantry, pots and pan cupboards and space for the all important “real” crockery. Karen has all her best cooking gear onboard Plenty of room to cook up a feast The dinette area has a fold down table which secures away for more living room. The all important cocktail cabinet We have plenty of areas to relax or make into extra sleeping quarters if required Navigation Station. Apart from all of this living stuff ... we have 3 water tanks with a total 800lt, 690lt of fuel, Engine room and tools and spares to fix just about everything. The cockpit really serves two purposes, whilst underway it is our main work area to drive the boat, all lines (ropes) come back to this area for us to work the sails and this is where the wheel is. However once anchored this area really turns into our second living area and gives us the most joy with 360 degree sea views. The cockpit is really where all the sailing action happens But when at anchor or in a marina we transform the cockpit into another living area. Cheers Cocktails in the Cockpit What are the challenges of living onboard together? You find out what really good relationships are. You start working as a team in every aspect of your daily life. When you live with somebody else on a boat, it’s obvious you don't have as much room to spread out. As mentioned, we had a good sized family home. Once the kids moved out, we found we spent most of our time in the same areas together and not using the majority of the home. Living small has taught us new things about each other and taught us to compromise, including on basic things such as TV watching. Karen gets to watch the Food Channel 24/7 .... lol ... not really, so now we take turns with choosing shows or finding shows we both like to watch together. We've kind of learned to like the same things while also having our own interests. You learn to let each other have space and down time. We will often be in the same space but enjoying totally different things. Privacy is limited, actually it's non existent. Were there any mistakes that you made that you think others could avoid? We were a little hesitant in our first step, once we sold the family home we bought a smaller home and renovated it. We then took on another larger project house, in the hope of renovating and flipping it quickly to make some extra money. In hindsight, we should have bought the smaller house rented it without the renovation, bought the boat and gone. We would of been 2 years further down the track. And not have been caught up in the property market downturn. Also do not fall for the trap of putting lots of "stuff" in storage. Don't waste that money because you're probably never going to need it again, and if you do, when you go back for it, it's probably going to be damaged, not your taste anymore and technology has moved on. That TV you've been storing all these years can now be replaced by a much smarter version for a fraction of the price. The clothes don't fit and are out of fashion, as is the furniture which won't fit in the small apartment you moved to when you finally left the boat anyway. Each time we arrived back in Australia it was “garage sale” time again as we did another clean out of "stuff" we'll never need again. Seriously just get rid of the stuff from the outset What have been the benefits of living on a boat? Well, there have been many, many benefits to living on a boat for us and for a lot of people in the same situation. We get to travel by taking our home with us. You may say "So do grey nomads with caravans", but we are not limited by roads. The whole world is available to us. We experience the beauty of nature each day. Of course, we have no mortgage on the boat. Our utility costs are really low. We buy fewer things because we don't have places to put things. You waste less money and effort, and again, you have more time to concentrate on your life together rather than maintaining and paying for a big house and a yard. So aside from not having room for some things that we’d really like, it's great. We have always liked a clean space. So having a smaller space you are not “cleaning” as much. We like to be out on the water and outside having experiences and living life. A boat is really, good for people like us. It takes us less than two hours to clean, top to bottom. No mowing lawns, weeding gardens, leaves in eves, cobwebs lots of floors to sweep and mop. A magical sunset to ourselves We never get tired of these guys playing on our bow Are you eco warriors? We'd rather describe ourselves as Eco Aware. We’ve always been people who have tried to be considerate of the environment, and it makes us even more so now living on the boat because we feel so much closer of the delicate ecosystem we float on. Do we burn fossil fuels? With an 80hp diesel engine onboard of course we do, but not if we can sail. Do we have plastic on board? Yep, because doing things like cryovacing our food makes it last some much longer. However, we try to buy unpackaged foods as much as possible in the first place so the amount of plastics used in our cryovacing is actually far less than you'll find in a normal trolley of supermarket goods. We are very conscientious of how much rubbish we produce and how we dispose of it responsibly to limit harm. We tend to look for quality, sustainable products as we don’t want to be replacing them all the time creating more waste. We are careful not to over purchase produce only to throw it out uneaten. We try to be self sufficient in energy use and water as much as possible. We have solar panels that can handle our normal daily energy use. We have a reverse osmosis watermaker onboard that turns seawater into pure drinking water. We catch fish and other seafood to feed ourselves. Of course it's no sacrifice to enjoy a nice feed of crabs or the like but all these things help reduce our carbon footprint. (Here is a story on us fitting our Solar Panels) Solar Panels keep us powered up Catching our own seafood is just another way of living healthy while decreasing our carbon foot print. We try to be self sufficient. Traveling by wind, generating energy from the sun, making our own water and catching seafood. What do you eat onboard? We eat really well .... everything that you eat at home we can prepare and eat on the boat. The difference is you have to plan well. We can be away from a land base for months at a time so you need to provision the boat with all that you will need in that time. If we run out of milk we can’t just duck down to the shop and buy a litre. It is an art form to get it right, but you will discover what you need pretty quickly when you run out. It’s also not all about canned food, lentils and dehydrated eggs. We actually think we eat healthier away from land as there is no temptation for a quick takeaway or packaged meal. Fresh boat made Salads Sri Lankan Fish Curry Blue Cheese Mousse with Sandcrab and Figs We stock the boat for long periods away from land If you want to know more about how we eat onboard check out the section on Our Galley Is it really the financial freedom that it's touted to be? Yes, it can be if you select the right boat for your needs and maintain it rather than waiting for things to break. Once we're out cruising, we rarely pay rent, never pay for rates, power or water. We have learned to live on much, much less than before. We wish we learned a little faster and didn't waste so much early in our cruising but never the less, the lessons are learned. We left a life of a house and garden to maintain, 3 good cars, 2 motorcycles, cafes for lunch, restaurants with friends, city clothes and hairdressers on a monthly basis. Now we have a bike and a cheap car. We don't fill the boat with "stuff" like we did a house. Now to buy something it has to have a purpose and a place onboard to fit. We entertain onboard or socialise with other cruisers on the beach and easily enjoy it as much as any five star restaurant. Karen hasn’t been to the hairdressers in over 12 months and we each own 3 pairs of shoes, not three wardrobes of shoes. You find out very quickly that it's not about building a "financial portfolio" but you are building a strong "experience portfolio" of incredible memories. If you think money is more important than life, try holding your breath while you count your money. What about maintenance costs of a boat? People have a saying B.O.A.T means “break out another thousand”. If something is for a boat the retail price will be AT LEAST double that of a similar non-marine product. There is always ongoing maintenance costs on a boat but ,to a degree, how high those costs are depends on how you go about things. We would rather do preventative maintenance rather than wait to fix something once it has broken. That gives us the time to search out the best deals which can provide big savings. One large unexpected expense for us was keeping our old school fridge and freezers going. We followed the route of getting the professionals in to replace component after component all with high labour costs because we didn't think we could do it ourselves. Well let’s just say in the end we pulled all the old systems out then replaced both with off the shelf "Do it yourself" kits for a fraction of what we had paid the experts and have never had a problem since. So we keep learning lot of new skills on the boat to be as self reliant as possible regarding repairs and installations. Out with the old. This was the refrigeration system we paid professionals big dollars to not make reliable. This is the new system we fitted ourselves in one day for a 3rd of the price we had already paid the pros. You may find our blog on learning to maintain your Sails of interest What are the ongoing maintenance issues? It costs far less than running a household and living on land. But in reality, this will very much depend on your type of boat and how much you do yourself. Timber older boats will cost more to maintain, not unlike timber older homes. Insurance is on par with what we were paying annually on our home but for far less of a payout if we totally lose Our Dreamtime. Each year we need to lift the boat out in a boatyard to iservice all of her through hulls and to antifoul the hull, (special paint to stop weed and crustaceans growing on the hull). We do a basic service on the engine ourselves every 100 hours and maintain the sails and rigging. If these things are all done on a regular basis there should be no surprises. The more you learn to do on the boat yourself the more you will save. You do really need to learn to be, plumber, electrician, mechanic, sailmaker, painter, engineer, sailor, weather forecaster and navigator all rolled into one. If you are living in a marina your costs are going to be higher than if you are living on the "hook" (at anchor). You will be paying a monthly fee which will include a liveaboard component. For Our Dreamtime the average is about $1100 per month. If you are living on the hook, you will be faced with extra fuel costs for dinghy transportation and on the times you need to run the generator to supply charge to the batteries, if you have had no sun for days. With equipment in all sorts of places, sometimes being very flexible on a boat is handy Once a year we haul-out and do the antifoul and hull work Here is a comprehensive list of our Boat Maintenance What do you say to the people that call you Grotty-Yachties? Well, we say it's not for everybody. It’s a lifestyle we have chosen because it suits us and probably wear the title with pride. A lot of people enjoy their big homes, flash cars and being able to entertain a lot of people at once It's quite ironic that most of the big houses that sit overlooking the marinas and bays where the grotty yachts live are mortgaged to the hilt. Their owners going to work every week to pay for them while we are out there cruising the reefs and islands. If living with the elements, conserving water, conserving power and having limited things and space is not for you, that's cool. Many people enjoy the blog stories and pictures of our journeys and dream of the lifestyle. In fact 90% of our followers on FaceBook, Instagram and our Blogs do not live on a boat, nor do they ever plan to, but they still enjoy being part of our "Virtual Crew" and dreaming that, maybe someday, they could "do that". If you want to find out what it's actually like, there are plenty of ways to try before you buy like we did in the beginning documented in our book “Stuff it let’s go Sailing Anyway”. We went crewing on other people's boats first to make sure we were in love with the cruising lifestyle and not just in love with the idea of cruising. Fortunately we both found we shared the love. We do keep asking ourselves .... Why didn't we do this sooner? We love to read your comments on our blog and will reply. If you have any questions that we did not cover in this blog please ask in the comment section below. Cheers Rob and Karen. o stay right up to date with what we’re up to and see lots more photos, also check out and 'like' our Dreamtime Sail Facebook page at DreamtimeSail If you have only recently discovered our blog and would like to read how it all started, or work through our previous adventures, click the link to go back to our first blog entry. Stuff it. Let's just go sailing anyway. You can also find a full list of all our blogs by clicking on the Contents tab above.

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leglesstv · 5 years

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The Dream Run: Greg Holzman’s Island Life

Some questions. Who are you, really? Where do you live? How do you make a living? What turns you on? What frightens you? What do you want from life and what would you sacrifice to get it? Write your answers down on a piece of paper and then, next to each answer, write down why. Take your time. Think about it. You might discover some surprising things about yourself.

If you’re a kneeboarder, you’ll have been asked “the question” by someone who’s not. There may be any number of glib retorts tossed off over a shoulder with a laugh, but the question of what keeps each individual kneeboarder surfing in a manner generally seen as archaic, curious or just plain weird, will always have a real answer, one that reveals something about our individuality. Sometimes the answer’s so simple that it needs no explanation. Then again, sometimes the simplest things can be the hardest to grasp. At the most basic level, human motivation has to do with need: food, shelter, belonging. Once needs are met, desire takes over. We become driven by our strongest desires. those to which we ascribe the most importance, and hence the most value. The profile you’re about to read is an object lesson in this principle and how it can shape a life.

Lately we’ve been exchanging emails with Greg Holzman. If the name’s familiar it’s because he’s the subject of a few drool-provoking photos published here over the last year or more. We’ve known about him for a long time, primarily through shaper and Hawaiian legend Bud McCray, but Greg’s something of an enigma, staying out of sight and quietly doing his thing. A fisherman by trade, Greg’s thing involves finding the best, biggest and emptiest waves he can sensibly contemplate, and riding them with rare style and grace. Here at Legless.TV we reckon that qualifies Greg as a genuine underground hero, though we suspect he’d probably be reluctant to describe himself in such terms. We’re not about to enter the debate about the merits or otherwise of the whole concept of “underground”: our job is simply to record and present to the world what is. Greg’s based on Kauai, the outermost island of the Hawaiian chain. We started by asking Greg for a little biographical background. Oh yeah: that’s us in italics, everything else is Greg.

My father’s family moved here before WWII, to Honolulu, but my dad met my mom in California, USA. I lived in La Jolla a few years and saw the Lis fish crew kneeboarding Big Rock and was sure that was the thing to do. Everyone on stand-ups was eating shit there and it was like a gladiator arena. Then I saw Greenough films in a movie theater in 71/72 - with the barrel shots. My Dad got me a G&S twin-fin fish and I brought it back to Hawaii when we moved to Kailua on Oahu. I remember it sucked, but it got me there. I was a kook for three years, from 12 to 15. I never did surf Big Rock, which was the goal when I started. But then in 1974, Local Motion opened the first surf shop in Kailua, and I was one of the first kneeboarders in there. They had a few nice 5’4” fish twins and I had some Christmas money. I bought a nice Robbie Burns (owner of Local Motion) shaped kneeboard. I took that board to Maui, where I went to 10th grade high school. I got kicked out for putting too much priority on surfing. I was devastated. I went to the school in the summer and begged them to take me back, but they said I wasn’t college material, which was true. I just loved the outer island life in the 70’s.

Outer Island life in the mid-70s can be seen in surf films of the day: Fluid Drive, 5 Summer Stories, A sea For Yourself. If you were a kid watching those movies in a rented hall somewhere that wasn’t Hawaii, the images of hollow waves in clear, warm water, white sand with palms swaying gently in perpetual offshores was almost too much to bear. Greg was living it.

It all really started when I was 15. I surfed Maalaea September 1974 and May 1975 with all the guys like Jeff Hakman, Reno Abillera, Sammy Hawk, Owl Chapman. It was like I was in a movie. Just the best swells ever, photos in all the magazines - historical stuff. That was my first real tube riding. I was 15 and I was in these big windy tunnels, trying to figure it out. There was no going back to “normal” pre-surf life after that. Later on I was scared out of my head some days at Specklesville and Hookipa Lanes. I would duck dive and the wave would just suck me back over as I was so light, but my Duck Feet fins just saved me time after time. I learned to love it, not fear it. By 17 I was in public high school – surfing, cutting class on Kona winds, riding Pipe and a place called North Beach on Kaneohe Marine base. We would sneak in early mornings and avoid the Military Police.

Military Police? Really?

Yeah. I became a master of deception. I got to know the kids on base and would take on their identity. While other surfers were getting busted, I was heading back to my friend’s house where the Mom would be super happy their kid had a friend off base. These kids were not popular at school! It all worked out and I became the kid that came into school at recess or lunch with wet hair and sandy feet and everyone wanted to know how the surf was. That’s where I learned to enjoy surfing by myself. It was cool, and I knew I was a lucky kid who had broken the code. I remember more than once being woken in period 6 by my history teacher all worried I wasn’t getting enough sleep at night, when it was actually I was up before dawn, on my bike through the back of the military range with a flashlight … and then riding to school for my 25 cent taco lunch and 5th and 6th period. I’m not sure how I graduated but I did.

I became good friends with Buzzy Kerbox, as I was roommates with his girlfriend. We surfed the North Shore a lot through the winter of 78/79. He got me in the know with Pat Rawson, who shaped his boards. Pat made me a few boards and I surfed Pipeline a bunch with Buzzy. He was on a roll with big wins and it was an interesting time, but I knew it wasn’t going to last. The North Shore was getting very popular and my secret spot at Kaneohe Marine Base was now too risky to sneak on - I had turned 18 and could be arrested and thrown in jail. Something had to change. I got a newspaper, looking at outer island jobs, since I was thinking of going back to Maui. I saw a job for a cook on Kauai. I watched that ad change and the salary get better and then one day my friend and I were with our girlfriends and I just told him “I’m calling these guys up”. Our girlfriends thought we were kidding but the chefs were desperate. They said they would pay our way over to check it out. I was 19 and thought I’d just go for the ride. I ended up with a company truck and a condo and my first strike mission. Our girlfriends were just shocked! I told my mom after a month she would have to come to Kauai if she wanted to see me because I was staying for good. It was heaven - even the military base let us on, no sneaking - and the waves were epic. After a year I bought a Jeep and my life was as good as it gets. Everyone worked in the restaurants at night and surfed in the mornings. It was a big party. We all knew we were in the best place in the USA. Nobody wanted to expose it. Photos were not a thing, but a few came up from time to time and as the years have gone by, they’re now showing up.

Then Hurricane Iwa came in November 1982.

The last storm of the 1982 hurricane season, Iwa struck Kauai hard, with winds of up to 193 kmh, massive swells and storm surge. Hundreds were left homeless, schools were closed indefinitely and President Reagan declared the island a disaster area. Greg was living in a beach house and when the eye passed over, escaped to a friend’s house inland with just two boards and the clothes he was wearing.

Everything changed after that. Many surfers became construction workers and many got serious about life and money. The age of innocent fun was being tested. Restaurants were closed for half a year. I tried the construction stuff, but I couldn’t work in the day. I had always worked nights and surfed days. It just felt wrong. A friend had a boat and took me fishing. First time out, we caught so many fish. In the morning we brought them in, got a slip in the butcher shop and then we went to the cashier at the grocery store and she gave us money ... wow that was different! I was always giving her my money for food. I thought - this is something I can do on the ocean: work a few days and make as much as I normally do in two weeks ... I got to get me a boat! I learned everything I could from this guy, who was a tough old fisherman: it was all in my plan that I was going to get my own boat!

But things were tough and housing became an issue. I was homeless by 1983 but eventually I managed to find a house on the westside of Kauai. It was three bedrooms for $275 a month. So cheap! I got a roommate and life became pretty easy. I was fishing about 10 days a month and banking money while surfing the rest of the time. Life was cheap and the waves were good. I had decided I would get a boat and I was ready. My first boat was a disaster – a 50 ft wooden boat that had little chance of getting a slip in the harbor. I found a mooring I could lease in Nawilliwilli harbor and kept her there. March 1984, she sank trying to deal with a 24-day storm. I woke up to the Coast Guard saying my boat was on the rocks and I needed to get the fuel off before the tank ruptured and I was in real trouble. That was a lot of work, but lucky for me because that boat would have killed me if it hadn’t sunk. At $10,000 and a year of my dedication it was the school of hard knocks, but it made me learn what I needed to find and how much I was going to have to save to get it. It took me 5 years, but I finally bought a 26’ Radon hull from Santa Barbara Ca. - an all fiberglass trailerable boat I could leave at my house. I still have it. That boat has been my golden goose for 35 years. Although I’m presently not fishing a lot as I’m focused on surfing, I assume one day I will go again. It’s ready when I need it.

With the purchase of his own boat, Greg became able to finetune the way he structured fishing around surfing. The state of Hawaii officially recognises 137 separate islands, but there are many more, many so small they’re not marked on charts. On one of these, Greg had found good waves … and he began to surf them.

I wanted to surf and fish in areas of Hawaii few knew of, so I became a solo bottom fisherman. In Hawaii, that means mainly deep sea vertical long line fishing with targeted hooks in deep-water, anchoring in 400 to 1200 ft of water on deep drop offs and seamounts. I was good at this - surfing and this style of fishing help each other. I became familiar with every sea condition: I’ve been anchored and fished in water that was plain scary. Fishing certainly helped me understand the sea. Like all my endeavours, I took it to the limit. I became the best and it all came from my desire to surf an uncharted island, a place which I shared but never would photograph. Its Hawaiian name is Wai Uliuli or “blue blue water”. I lived for that and made my fishing an excuse to get to that place. It really only got good on high surf warnings, so it was not for the meek. I was often solo surfing or with a friend or single crew member. Mostly I surfed it alone, and it became a spiritual thing which made me comfortable in heavy water. This spot needs a specific swell direction to work well, and of course the right winds. It was always empty. One time the waves got so big I was forced to spend the night on the beach, digging a hole in the sand and using my board as a blanket. Luckily my crew was able to pull anchor and re-set in deeper water. The waves just rose so quick I couldn’t get back out to the boat. After that I was determined to bury water and supplies on the beach to make sure that if it happened again, I was going to be OK. I was sure to be prepared next time. I promised never to take photos or bring cameras and to this day, few exist from my trips. I was offered big money to get the shots, but I never wanted anything to do with exploiting a place I considered - and still do - sacred and holy. Many friends have been, but never a camera. Of course, this was all before iPhones.

To Greg, the years from 1983 to 1992 were golden. Great boards, great waves, making a good living from the ocean, travel: he was living a dream life. Bud McCray was a big part of it.

It was 1983 when I met Buddy McCray. My younger brother Pat was also a kneeboarder, following me into it. Pat lived on Oahu and he met Buddy in the surf. Buddy missed nothing and was quick to come over to Kauai that summer, and he brought a board for me. He recognized that I was willing to test anything, so he sent boards over and I would just give him feedback. His boards got better and better. Sometimes I didn’t like them, but he would tell me to keep trying and many times they did get better, but for me, I kept getting more into the basic no wing, no channel, short fish. I tried pins and squaretails, but it was the basic 5’6” flat bottom Vee that did it for me. In the early ‘80’s surfers were having issues with large waves. I was able to sit inside of them and often catch the sets, because they were constantly under-gunned, but my fins and low center of gravity allowed me in easy. Buddy had me sold pretty quickly on the four-fin set up and by ‘84 things were full tilt. Buddy came over to Kauai regularly the next few years and brought various kneeboarders with him, including Albert Whiteman and an 18-year-old Simon Farrer. Buddy had great timing and we just surfed so much! Every time he came the waves were good. In 1987 he decided to take Lee Pattison, Mike McGuire and myself to G-land. Buddy was well known in every corner of the world by then, but it was my first trip. Bobby Radiasa had been to Hawaii and stayed with Buddy, so we were treated very well. It was a special time to be there, as many know - that first trip was so eye-opening. Before that, I didn’t feel I needed to go anywhere, but after, I knew the best waves in the world were not in Hawaii: for consistent offshore long-period single swell events, it was all happening in Indonesia. Once again Buddy had sent me to the happiest place on earth, with three new boards and a surf camp owner who made sure we were taken care of. Anyone who was there will agree it was one of the best times in the history of surfing.

Greg went back to G-land again for 6 weeks the following year. On his way home he stopped in at the Sari Club in Kuta, where he met Mary, a sweet Californian girl who also surfed – well, of course. Her trip home included a stopover in Hawaii, where Greg showed her around. They had a great time surfing big waves together. Thus began a union that eventually brought them three children. In 1989 Greg travelled to Jeffreys Bay with Buddy McCray, and in 1991 he went again, and found more than just waves.

The waves reminded me of home - cold offshores in midwinter, storms hammering the coast and filtering down to a sweeping right: I loved South Africa. I found a plant group - Cycads - that fascinated me. I was lucky enough to be brought in by some great experts in the Cape, who also liked seashells, which I was collecting in Hawaii. With a bit of horse trading I was taught about these plants, taken into habitat a few years later as a research assistant for the National Botanical Garden and shown around the country by Nature Conservation officers. This began a 30-year love affair and the beginnings of my own Cycad nursery which today allows me to fund my surfing obsession. This wasn’t always the plan, but I also played a huge role in the study of many newly discovered Cycad species in Panama. I helped in collecting and working to help people better understand this important ancient plant family, the oldest continual seed-bearing plants on earth. Over 200 million years! Cycads live for hundreds of years and are extremely valuable. They’re threatened with extinction in South Africa from poaching. They are living art and I wanted to help by competing against the black market by growing Cycads from seeds I produced over 20 years: they grow 10 times faster in Hawaii. It may be the romantic idea of a 30-year-old dreamer, but I achieved a lot.

Greg’s wife, Mary, had formerly been a competitive swimmer, so it was natural for their three kids to follow suit, at least for a while. Their eldest, Matthew, retained enough competitive drive from all those junior swim meets to become a pro body boarder, but there’s a fair bit of the old man in him.

Matt loves to kneeboard when the surf isn’t crazy. He was charging huge Pipe at 17 and got waves in contests that made me live another aspect of surfing - that’s vicariously through your kids’ performance. Sean was less competitive, not wanting to have to live in his brother’s shadow, so he became an amazing diver who took on my love of the hunt. From boars to deep-dive spear fishing, he was leading his peer group, so they both had few problems fitting into this racially diverse island life.

Greg’s daughter is now 15 and can surf, but her Dad reckons she’s become a bit of a landlubber and isn’t getting out in the water. He’s hoping that will change. After all, Greg had a period away from surfing himself not so long ago. He and Mary divorced in 2012, He had been feeling pretty jaded with the surf scene - jet skis and egos and social media, and by the 2013-14 season, Greg stopped surfing altogether - for the first time in his life.

I quit cold turkey, Greg Noll style. I tried to play tennis for 2013/14 and just concentrated on my kids. Finally, I realized I hated competing. Tennis is usually a very competitive game, and I love watching and coaching competition, but after two seasons it was clear that tennis didn’t cut it in the adrenalin area. Times were changing in Kauai surfing again - times are always changing! By 2015, life was expensive and hard for young families, which got a lot of guys in that 30-something age having to work more. My life was getting cheaper and the kids didn’t need me as much, so I began to surf full time and fish less. The winter of 2015-16 was an amazing season which ended with a bang - double late West swells in April. Buddy had made me a board a year earlier and it worked amazing. The foam was different, but the board’s flex made it magic. I could feel that flex and the thinner board flew in 10ft plus Hawaiian power. I never looked back. When those West swells came in, I was surfing so well I just didn’t want it to end. Buddy made me two new boards and by May I was dying to try them out, so I headed to Kandui and quickly realized that this surf traveling was the greatest feeling of all. With the high-tech forecasts and Facebook etc ... strike missions could become a lifestyle.

Greg has seen a lot change in surfing over the span of his life. From starting out at a time when the introduction of legropes caused major schisms in surfing circles, he has witnessed the birth of professional surfing, the transformation of backyard businesses into international brands, the growth of surf tourism, the age of the sponsored free-surfer and the expansion of surfing into its various power-assisted and highly specialised genres and sub-genres. Just as the humble legrope unexpectedly brought about a fundamental shift in how and where we surf, new pressures and new technology have expanded the scope of surfing and changed how and where we surf yet again. We talked a little about the way things are now.

The IT revolution, with the advent of smartphones, social media and instant global communication, has been felt world-wide - Kauai is no exception – and short of the collapse of western civilization, there’s no going back to a time before. The local Kauai policy of no photos, no publicity may have been enforceable in the 70s and 80s, but in the 21st century, exposure is inevitable, and it seems that’s especially so if it’s unwanted.

Yes. The trouble today is that nothing happens without photographic evidence and pictures tell a thousand words. I’m less affected by this on the road, but I tend to be pretty quiet about my backyard. Though it affects me less now. I’m finding that the standard surfers’ taste in waves and priorities can rapidly change, especially if a few friends find it the place to be. Every year is different. Sandbars, swell direction, winds – they all seem to run in groups that will send surfers from one place to another, chasing the in-vogue spots of the moment.

On Kauai we have serious issues with the use of jet skis during High Surf events. It can be a real issue. Because of our round island, the swells can wrap which - means a lot of the jet-skis end up tow surfing the same waves 50 paddle surfers are riding. An example is a place I surfed for 25 years without a ski around. It’s much like Kirra, with a strong sweep, long walks up the point and long paddles. Now I can’t surf there. It’s just too much a scene. I’ve had waves that I was on and in the barrel and 100 yards down the beach a jet-ski goes and U-turns to swing a guy in. Well, I have ridden right up to the wall of water from their tow-in turn. Hitting water that fast inside big barrels leads to bashings on my back on the bottom. Complete floggings. I have never surfed there again with skis out. Don’t get me wrong. I love tow-ins in the right big-wave situations. I have towed in on days surfers are not out on outer reefs. That’s a different animal, but jet-skis and paddle surfing are not compatible. It’s a complete change in vibe and the tow guys never get less greedy, it’s always more, more, more. I’ve spent a long time campaigning for issues in my surfing on Kauai. From military beach access after 9-11 to Anti-Federal Marine Sanctuary expansions to advocating for jet-ski enforcement in surf areas. The threats continue to grow.

Part two coming soon.

Words: Rob Harwood (legless.tv wordsmith)

Images supplied by Greg

#greg holzman #buddy mccray #blast kneeboards #legless.tv #leglesstv #Rob Harwood #kneeboard surfing #kneeboarding #kneeboardsurfing #kneeboard Hawaii

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justhereforthefanartbean-blog · 7 years

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For the commentary tag: “”I can only offer myself,” Yuri replies” to about “The shout is too late.” from chapter 5 of The Thirst for Adventure. Also AGHH choosing a specific short section was so hard, just. The whole thing. One of the most memorable scenes I’ve ever read in a fic.

Bruh. That’s 800 words XD

AlsoEXCUSE YOU HOW DARE YOU SAY SUCH NICE THINGS ABOUT MY WRITING (because theinternet does not allow hugging and I want to give you all of the hugs rn likedude, I cannot emphasise enough how much your opinion means to me, you’re afantastic writer and Heart is literally one of my fave YOI fanfics of all time,I’m so fucking stoned that you like my shit, holy crap)

Warning:I’m gonna post it all below because I wrote that so long ago I barely rememberit and I want to be able to reference it as I respond :P

“Ican only offer myself,” Yuri replies.

Heis not shaking. The woman sneers at him anyway, her lip curling back to exposea mouth only half-full of teeth. Then, right before his eyes, her head opensup. A wound; the scar left by a sword. Stretching from the top of her headalmost to her eye, it splits her face and exposes her brain, but does notbleed. The skin is ripped, raw white and bloodless, and what he can only guessis the remaining mess of brain tissue is grey, like a carcass left to hang.

“Doesthis,” she hisses, moving closer, “deserve a half-blood’s revenge?”

IfYuri is shivering now, it is because she has chilled him to the bone. Standingthis close to her is like being immersed in the winter lake. It knocks all thebreath out of him.

“Ican only offer myself,” he repeats, choking it out as best he can, through whatfeels like lungs full of water.

“Notenough,” the woman spits, and steps back, sheathing her sword. “I will wait forsomeone better.”

Yuritries not to breathe a sigh of relief as the sensation dissipates. He coughs alittle, trying to clear his lungs of something that was never really there. Thechill, however, does not fade. The second widow steps forward.

“Whatwas your mother’s name?” She asks, hair whipping in the wind that wasn’t therethe moment before. It drags at the edge of his cloak, snatching it away fromhis fingers and throwing his hair in his face. It stings, cold, like tiny barbsof nettles.

“LarisaNikolayevna Plisetsky.” Yuri has to shout it above the churning and roilingair, and only hope that she can hear. To his great surprise, the woman stepsback immediately, and the wind drops to a breeze. “I know her name. She was agood woman. Your debt with me is balanced. I will not challenge you.” And thesecond sword is sheathed.

Liliahad told him that he might be in a better position than either of his brothers,upon meeting the widows, but he hadn’t anticipated by quite how much.

Unfortunately,his good luck cannot last.

Themoment the third woman steps forward, she introduces herself by name, and Yuriknows that he will have to fight.

“Iwas Véra Savvichna Ivanova. I fought and died for your ancestors over a hundredyears ago, only for my body to be tossed into the water as if I were nothing tothem. We will fight for my honour.”

“Iaccept your challenge.” Yuri does not take his sword. The nature of thechallenge is always the choice of the challenger.

Vérasteps forward and picks his sword from the ground, passing it to him.

“Sheatheit.” He does so, silently. “My body lies at the bottom of this river. You willswim down and retrieve it. If the river claims you, my debt is repaid. If yousurvive,” her eyes, dark and bloodshot, bore into him, “bury me properly.”

Yurilooks at the water. The river has been by their side since they left thecastle. It is fed by the mountain, from glacial streams, and this is not theseason for melt. The level of the water is well below the bridge and the bank,settled into the rocky hollow it has carved for itself. All the same, it isdeep, cold, and blue. He cannot see the bottom. Backing out now, however, is assure a death as drowning.

Hehas no choice.

Thethree women move back as he takes off his sword, and boots, then most of hislayers of clothing. As unwilling as he is to get his undershirt wet, and asmuch as it may hold him back in the water, he decides to keep it on. Divingnaked into a mountain river in autumn is only barely worse than diving inhalf-dressed, but he’ll take it. They move aside, allowing him to walk acrossto the halfway point of the bridge. Chancing a glance over his shoulder, Yurinotices that Otabek and Roza have edged closer. With a sharp shake of his head,he warns them as best he can. The fact that they’ve held off this long alreadyis surprising. He can’t say he would do the same if it looked like Otabek wasabout to jump into freezing water of his own volition.

Especiallyas neither of them will have any idea what is going on.

Hetakes a deep breath.

“Ready.”The two women who did not name themselves nod, and with matching smiles, jump,vanishing back into the water. The river does not splash.

Hefaces the river. Takes a deep breath.

“Goodluck,” Véra says, and pushes.

“YURI!”

Theshout is too late.

Holyfucking shit. Okay so MAJOR SPOILER ALERT.

This chapter was the culmination of so much research intoRussian mythology. I’ve already talked about everything that went into itfolklore-wise, but character-wise, I knew what I wanted to do to Yuri. He’sjust left home for the first time, essentially, and although he’s been warnedabout this kinda stuff his whole life, the first thing he’s faced with issomething that completely isolates him.

Hedoesn’t have the reassurance of his family or even his friends helping him. Buthe knows what he has to do. He faces up to the injustices that his ancestorscommitted, and for the first time in the story (I think) we see him be courageous withoutbeing angry.

As anillegitimate prince, his station offers him both protection and danger. This isa direct reversal of that; in court, revealing that he isn’t Lilia’s son is thedangerous part. He’s been forced to hide it, and even though he hates that andisn’t at all embarrassed by his mother or Nikolai, there’s always going to besome residual effects from being forced to hide part of yourself. Here, hisreal mother essentially saves his life twice just by existing. Basically, Iwanted to give Yuri proof that while his blood has absolutely dictated his lifeso far, that doesn’t necessarily have to be a bad thing. (Although theWidows do basically insult him for it the whole time, because, you know, social indoctrination).

Ithink it’s also important to understand how entrenched Yuri is in his rolehere. He’s wanted to be a knight his whole life, he’s been training for itsince before he can remember, and then he had that taken away from him. Notonly has he got it back, his first ever encounter literally requires him torisk his own life. But he does it. Because he is a knight now, and that’s whatknights do. They do whatever it takes. And Yuri has always, always donewhatever it takes. It’s something that he struggles with a little later, especially when he actually leaves the group, so I wanted to establish it early so that when that happened it almost felt like he was betraying himself as well as them by letting go of some of his values and key goals. And also it then shows how fucked up that big key bond thing makes him, because he doesn’t deal with it calmly or sensibly even though we know that he can.

There’salso a lot of traditional trial themes going on here. You know, he has to facethree tasks, the last of which is the worst, to prove himself kind of thing.All very ‘symbolic’ (idk it doesn’t feel like that when I write it). Taster of things to come! It’s definitely the simplestchallenge he’s faced so far, I think. For a start, there’s a very specific wayof dealing with it that he knows about, but also it doesn’t call his emotional state into question. Sure, it nearly kills him, but it’s a lot less gruelling than some of the stuff they go through later.

It’salso kind of a test for Beka too. We get to see how much he trusts Yuri, eventhough Yuri hasn’t always given him reason to, and it’s obvious that he’s in a verydangerous situation. Otabek is the first person to actually trust Yuri tohandle it on his own.

Butyeah, the folklore side of things was so much fun. I wanted to play withsomething that made it clear that Yuri isn’t the only supernatural being inthis world, but also that there’s a blur between the actual supernatural, simplesuperstition, and magic. Also, empathy. You know, they’re talking about theirdeaths and sort of forcing Yuri to experience them too. Like the sensation ofhis lungs filling with water, and the cold, and making him jump in the river –it sort of brings to life the brutality of what they faced. And we already knowthat, especially because of his influence, Yuri is a very humane person. It’sanother sort of inkling that he’s going to have issues helping Beka actuallyfight a war and kill people, even to protect more people in the long run. The ‘greatergood’ is much less of a clear concept for him.

Sothere you have it. Everything I was thinking when I was writing that scene! I’mnot sure a lot of it was very coherent but I hope it was interesting :P

#iguanastevens #answered asks #the widows #reference #update #ask #asks #research #commentary

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lakeham · 5 years

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ALEXIS POTTER is 28 YEARS OLD, resides in DOWNTOWN and has lived in Lakeham for 28 YEARS. She is FEMALE and works as a PARAMEDIC. She is portrayed by ZOEY DEUTCH and is played by MIRANDA.

Trigger Warnings: Cancer, death, abortion

Throughout the years, the Potters had always resided in Florida — with so many of their relatives around every corner, family was of great importance. Charlie and Lola Potter were the first ones who broke the pattern and decided to settle down elsewhere. Truth was that when Lola, who married into the family through Charlie, stubbornly refused to start a family in a town where everyone assumed to know them better than they knew themselves, Charlie initially wanted to say no. Ultimately choosing between his new family and his old, he decided to go with the one that held the more promising future, despite the many obstacles on the way.

Neither of them came from wealthy families, and it was safe to say that they both had to work hard for everything they had. Managing to get their hands on a house in Lakeham, it didn’t take long for their first child to be born; a beautiful little boy with the kindest soul, giving Lola and Charlie a smooth transition into parenthood. While they had never dreamt of a big family before, their newborn son was the first of three others, resulting in a large family of three sons and a daughter. Charlie working at local industry in town and Lola as a nurse, they were often away long hours, but spent as much of their free time as possible with their children. Alexis Potter was the third out of four, a sweet, red-haired little girl with a strong personality from the start. Growing up with three brothers merely meant that she carelessly took part in her their many endeavors without question, rarely afraid to back down from a challenge. Already at a young age, she grew to resent the name Alexis, adapting it slightly and going with Alex instead. Overall, Alex would say she had a good, normal childhood. That was, of course, up until the day her mother fell ill.

For someone who worked as a nurse you would have expected to see the signs sooner, and not at all when the situation was too far gone to salvage. Truth be told, Lola did know about it earlier than she let on, but was always a fighter, stubborn to not let her condition affect the rest of her family and valuing the little time she knew she had left. When Alex was seven, her mother passed away after six months of struggling, taking a hard toll on each of her children and her daughter in particular. Spending the rest of her childhood growing up in a home with only males, Alex was outspoken and blunt, and not the typical, shy girl most others in her class resembled. Stubborn like her mother, she was known to get her will through, and despite her shaky commitment to her studies, she passed high school without that many obstacles on the way. It was during high school that she met the person who she, at the time, thought would be the love of her life. Cliff was a tall, handsome, one year older student of biology who happened to know one of her older brothers. Their romance was sweet and innocent, their relationship lasting for the next two years of her life. Despite her strong persona, Alex didn’t want to rush into anything, Cliff faithfully promising to wait for her. It was at the end of their relationship that Alex realized that promises were made to be broken, and that to expect a male, hormonal teenager to hold off on the good stuff had been naive. She never caught them red-handed herself, but truth was that she would rather have done just that than to hear it from her brothers that she was last in on the news.

Graduation couldn’t have come at a better time, and despite not having much capital to spend, the heartbroken nineteen-year-old managed to take a train to New York and leave Lakeham behind, crashing at a friend of her oldest brother. Alex was in desperate need of a change of scenery, furious with Cliff for his actions, but most of all angry with herself for thinking that the first time should be something special. Spurred by emotions in a city that never sleeps, Alex threw all her restraints aside, tagging along to a bar with her new roommates. It was never a part of her initial plan, but once there, she decided it was better to just get it over-with, promising herself to never tie herself down to a single man again, perhaps a little influenced by the alcohol intake on that particular night. Getting away from the small town life, the big city helped her let go of her past quicker than she would have thought, and the boyish girl raised by men turned into a full-blown woman, starting to spend time around girls her own age. For a while, Alex debated on skipping university altogether, taking a year away from school to work wherever they would have her. So, the day she enrolled at NYU her family was probably the most surprised, a newfound determination within her wanting to study to become a paramedic.

Upon receiving her diploma at twenty-three, Alex stayed in New York for a while, taking a job at a hospital in Brooklyn. Spending more hours at work than in her apartment, her life quickly got hectic. For a young girl with no actual working experience in the field up until then, after a full year it started to really get to her. Being on-site to witness a horrific accident first-hand involving a family of four, seeing those young children paired with all the blood, losing their lives to the mistake of another human being ultimately forced her to take a step back. Manically, she tried to ensure her boss that she was fine, that she could keep working. Unfortunately, her body was the one to proved her wrong, her hands trembling, shaking, refusing to perform even the simplest task. Having lost sight of her own path, she took the money she had made to travel abroad, taking a break from everything she had once called normal in her life. Her time in Europe did her good, enjoying the simple life, learning new languages as she went and treating herself with a temporary fling. Their thing was always casual, but at the time, he was exactly what Alex needed, and somehow knew just what to say to make her reconsider her career and give it a second chance. Everyone in her line of work went through tough experiences — hers just happened to come unusually early.

❝ IF WE WERE MEANT TO STAY IN ONE PLACE, WE'D HAVE ROOTS INSTEAD OF FEET.❞

The trauma her time in New York had left her with made her realize that the city life wasn’t for her, that she, for the first time since high school, longed for the small town life. Much like her mother, Alex was determined to stay on her own path and away from Lakeham, instead heading back to live with her relatives in Florida for a time. Strangely enough, it took her a few months to start seeing the signs of her own condition, only after five positive tests starting to take in the fact that she was pregnant. Having left the only person who could be the father somewhere in Europe, his presence wouldn’t have changed her decision in the end. The late abortion was the only way she saw fit at the time, a decision she had to live with for the rest of her life, and has regretted many times since. Her dedication to her work faltered for the next year, and it took another one for the people around her to start seeing the same old Alex again, despite no one really knowing what had caused it from the start.

After spending two years in Florida, she started to realize that maybe going back to your hometown wasn’t the worst idea after all. As her father grew older, Alex knew she would never forgive herself if she wasn’t around if something happened, moving back to Lakeham where her father and most of her brothers still remained. Picking up an apartment Downtown near the city centre surprisingly enough made her feel right at home, taking a job at the Lakeham General Hospital and adjusting to her new life quickly. With no real thoughts of the future, Alex takes it one day at a time, hating the idea of restricting yourself to a given plan.

Alex has always been fond of animals, and about two years ago she decided to take matters into her own hands and bring home a golden retriever puppy. Naming him Mike, he’s been her companion through her toughest times after the abortion, and is the only man she lets into her bed multiple nights in a row.

Due to growing up in a home with mostly males, Alex has always been more comfortable around guys than girls, feeling like she better knows where they stand and can read them better. In the past, most of the people she would consider her closest friends were male.

Despite often working long hours, Alex always values an adventure and likes to go out and see where things takes her if she can’t think of something else to do. On the rare occasions when she rather just stays at home, you would often find her cooped up with a good book or movie and Mike by her side.

(+) Spontaneous, adventurous, kind. (-) Stubborn, naive, outspoken.

#alexis potter #zoey deutch #all #female #downtown #tw death #tw abortion #tw cancer

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cecillewhite · 5 years

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Software Demo Success: How to Present Your LMS In Its Best Light

If you’re a learning systems vendor, this scenario should sound familiar. Your sales team recently crafted a strong proposal in response to an LMS RFP, and the buyer has given your company a thumbs up. Congratulations! However, a full-scale celebration will have to wait. That’s because you’ve been asked to compete with other vendors in a software demo “bake-off.”

This is when the rubber really hits the road. It’s one thing to write a proposal that talks conceptually about use cases, requirements and functionality. But walking through a live product tour can make or break your solution in the minds of prospective buyers.

So, what happens when your solution steps into that white-hot spotlight? How exactly does your software demo make your product shine?

Of course, there’s no guarantee that even the most stellar presentation will seal the deal. But after years as a software sales consultant, and now as an LMS selection advisor, I’ve learned how you can significantly improve your chances. Here are some of are my best suggestions…

9 Ways to Make a Great Impression with Every Software Demo You Deliver

1) Sweat the logistical details

Some factors are complex and beyond your control. Others are easy to implement and entirely within your reach, including these basics:

RSVP FOR THE SEPTEMBER WEBINAR!

Watch the clock – It’s your responsibility to manage every minute from start to finish. Structure the agenda with top-down logic and prepare for questions that could derail the discussion.

Begin (and end) with a bang – Why save all the good stuff for last? If you don’t hook your audience within the first few minutes, you could lose them entirely. Besides, you may run out of time. So instead of building to a big finale, lead with a “wow” moment. Introduce a central business issue and illustrate how your solution adds value. Then shift less important details downstream. Also, plan to conclude with a bit of flair. Even if time is tight, those closing comments can be just as powerful as a strong opening.

Keep it moving (literally) – You want your audience to feel energized, right? Try getting out of your chair and slowly walking around. You can even tag-team with a colleague, so someone is always roaming. For online demos, you can simulate this by periodically shifting from screen sharing mode to facial display when answering questions.

Check yourself – What if your mother were in the audience? Would she want to hear keys or loose change jingling in your pocket? Would she remind you to stand up straight and smile? Always maintain a positive attitude, even when challenged. Pace yourself and “never let them see you sweat.”

Use a cheat sheet – Even after 20+ years of delivering demos, I always create a script. I might wander off-track, but that’s when a script is even more critical. This quick reference tool helps me stay focused and reminds me which keystrokes fit each scenario.

2) Do your research

I know a rep who generated excitement with prospects with “intro demos” but he refused to prep with a sales consultant. He thought a brief pre-demo huddle in the prospect’s lobby was sufficient. Trust me, you’ll get better results when you plan ahead. For example:

Update discovery findings – One of the biggest mistakes you can make is assuming that research from the RFP phase is still accurate in the demo phase. To avoid surprises, contact the prospect in advance to review and refresh use cases. You’ll also want to confirm demo audience information, logistics and other details.

Involve and educate your team – This story explains what’s at stake. Recently, I witnessed the leading vendor in an LMS selection project rely on a remote Professional Services resource to outline implementation plans. But because this resource had very little knowledge of the prospect or the project, the presentation was very generic. In a matter of minutes, that vendor lost the bid.

3) Wrap your demo in a “theme”

SEE THE WINNERS NOW!

My go-to theme was the “1-click” software demo. This is about giving participants multiple reasons to think, “Wow. That was easy!” You can do this by emphasizing 1-click functionality throughout the session. For example, say “…in only 1 click, you can launch the content.” Or, “…just 1 click updates all the course records.”

You can further reinforce the point by encouraging participants to join your 1-click chorus. Just set-up a sentence and wait for them to fill-in the blank. For example, “…this means you can assign content to any group of users with only ____.”

They may not remember everything they see, but I promise you, they will remember the “1-click” demo.

4) Invest in demo data

Of all the factors that can damage a demo, weak data ranks at or near the top. Countless times, I’ve seen how data brings a solution to life. That’s why I developed an extensive demo database and became deeply familiar with every aspect of it, including:

Completeness – Have you ever run a report that produced zero records? Have you searched a catalog, only to find mismatched results? That should never happen in a demo. Every field, every tab, every report should be populated with appropriate data. And it’s your job to fill all the gaps.

Relevance – When you’re presenting a software demo to a healthcare company, imagine how compelling it is to display industry-specific data. This is where relationships with content providers can give you an edge. They’re usually happy to share data with you in exchange for a shout-out during a demo. At the same time, prospects will view your product as more than just a learning platform. It’s a solution!

First-hand knowledge – Remember the demo “cheat sheet” I mentioned earlier? You can include dozens of key feature examples. If a prospect asks to see something specific, this helps you find it quickly and easily. Want to see the waitlist for an instructor-led training event? Found in 1 click! How about coupon code creation tools? Again, just 1 click away!

5) Setup–Show–Recap (SSR)

Have you ever seen a software demo that seems more like a giant run-on sentence? It’s hard to know if the presenter even bothered to take a breath!

While the “setup–show–recap” method requires more effort than the “spray and pray” approach, prospects should recognize that you’ve mapped their pain points to relevant use cases. Here’s how to make it work:

SEE THE WINNERS NOW!

Setup – Depending on your audience and logistics, you can use PowerPoint slides, a whiteboard or flip chart to present a preview. This introduction is important because it lets the audience know what to expect and gives you an opportunity to verify the use case.

Show – If you deconstruct the demo into bite-sized scenario “nuggets,” your audience is less likely to become overwhelmed. Think of teaching teenagers how to drive. If you cover 3-point turns, parallel parking, backing up and changing a tire all in one session, don’t expect them to remember anything. Instead, focus on one scenario at a time.

Recap – After participating in multiple demos with a series of vendors, your audience won’t remember many specifics. However, they will remember which vendors “get it.” And what presenter doesn’t like to see smiles and nodding heads in the audience? So why wait until the end of your demo to recap? Instead, summarize each scenario, so you see smiles and nods throughout your session – not just at the end.

6) Shift your emphasis

The demo isn’t about the product. It’s about what the product can do for your prospect. This can be particularly challenging, especially for product managers and other non-sales professionals, or for presenters with a service or training background. Remember these points:

“Sell. Don’t tell” – This is not the time to discuss every button, tab and menu in your system. Dwelling on your features checklist usually leaves prospects bored and frustrated.

Put “you” before “me” – As a potential client, which sentence would draw you into a software demo? “I’ll run the compliance report now,” or “Here’s how you can run the compliance report.” With “you” as the subject, the demo stays focused on audience interests. It also engages prospects and helps them take ownership of the solution.

7) Tap into your whole team

Let me clarify a common misunderstanding. The term “software demo” does not mean, “It’s time for account executives to check email messages.”

All too often, reps briefly introduce the company, the product and the sales consultant. Then they check-out mentally until the Q&A. This causes multiple issues:

Your audience can get tired of hearing one person throughout the demo

They may wonder if the system is too difficult for anyone other than an expert to use

They may wonder if a disjointed demo effort reflects your organization’s broader culture

While multitasking, your rep may miss key comments and questions.

Bottom line: Reps and solutions consultants should work together to prepare and deliver every software demo as a coordinated team.

8) Keep it simple

Your audience will include people of various ages, experience levels and interests. So, think about how you’ll appeal to a common denominator. For example:

REPLAY THE WEBINAR NOW!

Use acronyms wisely – LRS, LXP, B2B, CRM – our industry is brimming with alphabet soup. But these terms aren’t universally understood. When you introduce an acronym, briefly define it.

Speak in simple terms – Words like “bifurcate”, “ubiquitous” or “juxtaposition” may seem impressive. But unusual terms can distract, confuse and frustrate your audience. Why run that risk?

Trim your clicks – Do you have too many “screen kung fu” moves? That’s what one of my industry colleagues calls demos with an overabundance of clicks and screens. Instead, showcase your knowledge of a use case by performing each action in the fastest and simplest way.

Command your time – You’ll be tempted to rush when adrenaline is pumping and you need to cram 30 more minutes of material into the remaining 10-minutes of a demo. Here’s a better approach. Ask audience members how they prefer to use the remaining time. Then offer to cover additional items in a live or recorded follow-up session.

9) Stand out from the crowd

Wondering why I’ve listed 9 tips instead of 10? It’s a small way to differentiate this post from standard “top 10” lists. You can do the same thing to make a software demo more memorable. For example:

Respond to questions as they arise throughout the session – This is a great way to involve your team and make the demo experience more dynamic. If you don’t have a real-time answer, ask your sales rep to text or email others for clarification, so you can respond before the demo ends. Prospects will appreciate your resourcefulness and responsiveness.

Include external voices in the conversation – Adding third-party participants can be a highly persuasive tactic. For example, if you know that a prospect is very concerned about implementation services, invite a client to speak during the demo about your ability to deliver on time, on spec and on budget.

Follow up – Obviously, if you promise to follow-up on a specific question or issue, it’s essential to close that loop. But if you really want to leave a strong impression, try this: Record a 5-15-minute summary of demo highlights and discussion points. Then add a brief video introduction and a thank you. It’s a memorable way to address remaining demo gaps and reinforce your value proposition.

Closing Notes

Some of these software demo ideas are easy to implement. Others require research, practice and determination. They may even require some outside help.

But after years of experience, I know that many of these practices are overlooked by a surprising number of LMS vendors. That means, with a bit of extra effort, you can separate yourself from the competition and improve your chances of landing new business.

I’ll explore more ideas in future posts. In the meantime, if you’d like more detailed advice about how our LMS vendor services can help you sharpen your demo script, strengthen your demo database or improve your win rate, feel free to contact us anytime!

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