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#✨.   //   APPEARANCE  :   WHAT'S WITHIN
divinefemmexx · 9 days
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Your Beauty Based On Your Nakshatras 🍒
*DISCLAIMER- This is my first observations post about the nakshatras so please bear with me! i know there is some discourse about these types of posts in the astrology community but oh well lol i just wanted to do something fun for my first time. i will make more in depth posts once i deepen my knowledge on it.
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Note: This is how I see the Nakshatras other people will see differently and that’s ok!
🥀 Venus Nakshatras (Purva Phalguni, Bharani, Purva Ashadha)
-They seem to have an air of mystery in my opinion. They have the girl next door kind of beauty, think of movies where the guy sees a girl at the airport or on a train and he doesn’t see her ever again but he keeps fantasizing about her. Venusians are the type to captivate someone within one glance. They are also sensual but in a subtle way, they don’t have to do too much to show that side of them because it’s not only based on how they look but the way they talk, walk, and their personality.
Ex. Jasmine Tookes (Purva Phalguni Moon), Adele (Bharani Sun), Alina Baraz (Purva Ashadha Moon)
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❤️‍🔥 Mars Nakshatras (Dhanishta, Chitra, Mrigashira)
-These people are just…SEXY! But honestly what can you expect when it comes to mars. In my opinion it seems like they can’t hide their sexiness it doesn’t matter what they wear or if they wear a lot of makeup or not they will always ooze sex appeal. They are the type to turn heads no matter what room they walk in because that’s how good they look, not only that they seem to have this confidence about them whether you see yourself that way or not others may definitely do! They are always topic of conversation.
Ex. Ana De Armas (Chitra Moon), Megan thee stallion (Dhanishta Sun), Jennifer Lawrence (Mrigashira Moon)
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🌙 Moon Nakshatras (Rohini, Hasta, Shravana)
- These women have the popular girl in movies type of beauty, they are usually peoples girl crush. I notice that their physical appearance is often talked about. They appear younger than what they actually are not just physically but their demeanor, personality, and spirit. They may get stared at a lot. I will also like to add that pictures does not do these nakshatras justice at all, they are so beautiful in person similar to the moon!
Ex. Ariana Grande (Hasta Moon), Normani (Rohini Sun), Nina Dobrev (Shravana Moon)
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✨Mercury Nakshatras (Ashlesha, Jyeshtha, Revati)
-They are so sultry in a dark feminine type of way. They also have RBF and can appear very intimidating. Many people might assume that mercurials are mean due to the way they look (imo they are pretty nice). They are the kind of girls that you want to talk to but they come off unapproachable so you just admire them from a far lol. I also notice they love playing with makeup looks especially their eye makeup!
Ex. Ryan Destiny (Revati Moon), Alexa Demie (Jyeshtha Sun), Megan Fox (Ashlesha Moon)
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🫀Ketu Nakshatras (Magha, Ashwini, Mula)
-Ketu Nakshatras have the dark feminine vibe but more in a melancholic kind of way. Their femininity is more darker than mercurials and often dress in black or darker colors in general. they also have a very unbothered look to them. I notice that these ketuvians can be complex and very misunderstood, you think that you have them figured out but there is WAY more to them than beyond surface level. They have a haunting type of beauty! The kind of women you never forget.
Ex. Kat Dennings (Magha Moon), India Eisley (Ashwini Moon), Amy Winehouse (Mula Moon)
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🌞 Sun Nakshatras (Uttara Ashada, Krittika, Uttara Phalguni)
-These hotties are bombshells. They have the ability to light up any room. They also have such a radiant aura as well. They are the "hard to get" hot girl that everyone pines over! They are usually center of attention no matter where they go. I notice that they are charismatic as well and that’s what honestly reels people in the most! In my opinion, they remind me so much of a trophy wife. Their partners love being able to tell people that you guys are married/dating.
Ex. Madelyn Cline (Uttara Phalguni ASC & Moon, Eliza Dushku (Krittika ASC), Naomi Campbell (Uttara Ashada ASC)
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⚡️Rahu Nakshatras (Ardra, Swati, Shatabhisha)
-Have you heard of the quote from Scarface “The eyes, Chico. They never lie.”? Well that’s basically these nakshatras. Their eyes can tell stories and they can communicate to others very well with them. Often times they can look pretty sad even when they aren’t. Rahuvians look so dreamy, I can’t explain it, they look so soft but intense at the same time! Honestly, they are the type of girls people write about. Absolutely captivating!
Ex. Brittany Murphy (Swati Moon), Kaya Scodelario (Ardra Moon), Audrey Hepburn (Shatabhisha Moon)
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🛸 Saturn Nakshatras (Pushya, Anuradha, Uttara Bhadrapada)
-Otherworldly beauty! If you go outside you won’t see many people that look like them, their beauty cannot be replicated ever and trust me they will try to! These nakshatras were blessed with alluring and unique features. Saturnians look like they came right out of a fantasy film with different beautiful creations that are not of this world. They will also kill it in modeling especially editorial/high fashion they have the type of beauty that the modeling industry goes for.
Ex. Yara Shahidi (Anuradha ASC), Angelina Jolie (Pushya ASC), Halle Bailey (Uttara Bhadrapada Sun)
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💋 Jupiter Nakshatras (Punarvasu, Vishakha, Purva Bhadrapada)
-These Nakshatras are MANEATERS! no but seriously they are so seductive! They can give office siren as well. I truly believe they can make anyone get down on their knees for them. Their aura to me is pretty powerful they know exactly how to act to get people (men especially) at their beck and call. I also notice that people lust after them quite often, they could easily use that for their personal gain if they wanted to.
Ex. Penelope Cruz (Punarvasu Moon), Lily Rose Depp (Vishakha ASC), Madison Beer (Purva Bhadrapada Sun)
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Yours Truly,
divinefemmexx 🖤
583 notes · View notes
gay-dorito-dust · 3 months
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Can you write Benji x wife newlyweds fluff?✨✨💗💗
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Just Benji being such a sweet, soft sucker for his spouse.
Reader is fem but it’s used very loosely.
It hadn’t been long since you and Benjicot were wed and the butterflies within your stomach has yet to subside, but a small part of you had grown partial to the feeling, especially when that feeling was brought back tenfold as you looked over at Benjicot on the bed; only to see him staring at you adoringly.
‘What?’ You asked, feeling a little exposed beneath his gaze and giddy that you got to be the recipient of such a sweet, genuine gaze as his.
‘This isn’t a dream is it.’ Benji asked softly as he reached out to grab ahold of your hand, pulling you to stand in between his legs, ‘please tell me this isn’t a dream. I don’t think I can handle it if all of this is just something I shall eventually awaken from unfairly.’ He adds as you crane your head down to rest yours easily against his own.
‘This isn’t a dream husband of mine.’ You reassured him softly as you stroked your thumb across the back of his hand, watching fondly as Benji’s face visibly relaxed at the sound of your voice, a soft smile hatching across his lips that left your heart melting every time you were blessed with it’s appearance. ‘What makes you think that any of this could only be achieved through a dream?’ You asked, curious as to know how his mind went that that conclusion because to you everything leading up to now has felt all too real to be a dream, you felt too awake to believe that you were in some way in a deep sleep.
‘You.’ Benjicot replied. ‘You’ve always felt like a dream come true to me since the day we met, and in such a way that I could never describe accurately, at least until now that is.’
‘And that is?’
Benjicot got up from the bed and moved his hands to securely hold your face between his calloused palms as his eyes flickered across every aspect of your face, almost as though he were committing this very moment to his memory, like he was scared that he was bound to forget all about it sooner or later and he was desperate to remember how your face looked now; hopeful that it will force his mind to remember the best moments of his life all over again. ‘That you were always meant to be apart of my life. It is as if the old gods made you and I to one day be bound in a shared fate that concludes with us still being together when it all ends. You are the other half of me that I can’t live without.’ Benjicot says as he peppered soft kisses across your face, making you smile at him warmly and reaching your hands to rest atop of his own.
‘You’re too sweet to me my beloved.’ You murmured as Benji pressed a kiss to your lips. ‘You must’ve been a poet in a previous life.’ You added cheekily before squealing when Benjicot playfully bit your lip in retaliation.
‘I meant that in a good way!’ You cried, lightly snacking his bicep.
‘To you it does, but to me it sounded very much like a playful jab made at my expense.’ Benjicot said and moved his hands to your waist, where in which he gave a swift tug and you were brought tightly against his chest, but you weren’t in any position to complain as you quickly latched your arms to his waist and rested your head firmly in the crook of his neck, kissing on it a little as a content smile blossomed across your face while sinking into his warmth.
‘Agree to disagree.’ You said, voice muffled against your now husband as the lull of sleep began to weigh heavily on your eyelids. The excitement of the day had long since drained you and all you wanted to do was to sleep in the arms of your beautiful husband, you couldn’t help but feel giddy calling Benjicot your husband no matter if it was aloud or to yourself, it just felt right.
‘Agree to disagree my love.’ Benjicot echoed as he helped you to bed, pressing a kiss to your forehead, nose and lips before getting under the covers to join you as he held you protectively in his arms, just a pair of lovers spending their first of many nights cuddled up to each other as though fearful of being separated from one another.
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lizzyiii · 18 days
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His Lady Love (7)
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pairing | aemond targaryen x vampire!mikaelson!reader
taglist | to be added to the tag list just add your username to this DOC
word count | 6,1k words
summary | you leave for the reach, angsty love confession, false rumors travel to king's landing.
tags | (MDNI), SMUT, unprotected sex (this is asoiaf so all sex is unprotected), p in v, death, heavy angst/NO COMFORT, vampire powers, heavy miscommunication
note | I'd be really interested in knowing if you guys made a name for the reader, in my head her name is Krystyna Mikaelson (yes, I googled norse names and chose my fav) So did anyone else read George R.R Martin's blog??? Anyway, I'm just here for Ewan, Olivia and Phia tbh. I was thinking that reader could be a witch. Like I know witches can't be vampires, but Siphoners can. Like just imagine her father was from a Gemini coven, and she doesn't know she has magic and since she's an original, she's her own power source, hence first heretic.
likes, comments, reblogs are much appreciated ✨
𝐏𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 - 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 - 𝐍𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫
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You had woven yourself into a web of deception, and now, the strands began to unravel. The Hand’s summons rang ominously in your ears, commanding you to escort Prince Jaehaerys to your so-called "home" in the Reach. Yet, the truth was far less straightforward; your true home lay not within the verdant fields of the Reach, nor did it belong to this mortal realm at all.
Time pressed against you—tonight, you would depart from Kings Landing. What could you possibly say to the watchful White Cloaks accompanying you? The question gnawed at you, demanding a rapid strategy as you struggled to quell your rising panic.
For the moment, the Hand had instructed you to gather only your essentials. As the hour of the wolf approached, you prepared to meet the call at the courtyard and bid a bittersweet farewell.
Your hands moved with urgency, tossing your cherished Mikaelson amulet into a trunk, alongside an array of simple dresses that would serve you for the arduous journey ahead. But amidst the flurry of preparation, the creaking of your chamber doors momentarily pierced through your focus. The air thickened with the unmistakable scent that sent a thrill down your spine, a presence you knew too well.
Stubbornly, you continued to pack, resolutely ignoring his entrance. You were a fool playing a game rigged against you—fostering feelings for a prince destined for a mortal being. Unlike your sister Rebekah, who pinned her affections upon every charming face, you fought against the tide of your own heart. Yet, in the shadows of your denial, an undeniable pull towards Aemond Targaryen had ensnared you, leaving you trapped in a whirlwind of desire and longing.
“I knew something would eventually go awry,” he murmured from the shadows, his tone laden with the weight of foresight.
You stubbornly continued to gather your belongings, your hands trembling ever so slightly. “I know not of what you speak,” you replied, defiance lacing your words like poison.
The atmosphere shifted as Aemond crossed the threshold, his presence a storm—intangible yet fierce. You felt the warmth radiating off him, enveloping you as he positioned himself behind you, the scent of dragonfire and leather filling your senses. “Whenever I find a fleeting moment of happiness, it is whisked away quicker than it appeared. The day I claimed Vhagar, and now, as I stand here with you,” his voice wavered, betraying an edge of vulnerability.
You clenched your jaw, a frown creasing your delicate features as an unbidden ache tightened around your heart. “I do not know how long I shall be gone,” you said, your voice barely above a whisper.
Strong hands found your waist, pulling you into the warmth of his chest, a silent promise wrapped around you as he whispered, “It matters not; I shall await your return, no matter how long it may take.”
With a pained sigh, you turned to confront him, your eyes glistening with unspoken sorrow. “You shouldn't.”
Aemond's brow furrowed, confusion etched across his handsome face as he tightened his grip, unwilling to let you slip away. “Why would you utter such foolishness?”
Your insides twisted as you longed to lay bare the truth that lay heavy on your heart. A truth about your eternal curse—a vampire destined to walk the earth forever, but never to grow old alongside him, to bear him no heirs. Instead, you shook your head, you voice trembling as you whispered, “A prince cannot wed a bastard.”
His brow knitted deeper in perplexity. “What do you mean?”
“I am not my father's daughter,” you confessed, the words tasted bitter as they left your lips. “And that alone should be reason enough for you to forsake any thought of marrying me.”
The admission struck you like a blade, a noose tightening around your spirit. Aemond’s disdain for bastards echoed hauntingly in your mind—his vitriol directed at those he deemed unworthy. If claiming your own truth was the only path to forging a distance between the two of you, then so be it. You would bear the burden of his scorn, if it meant sparing him from the shadows that clung to your existence.
In a flicker of desperation, you realized the power you held—the gift of compulsion. You could erase every whispered promise and shared secret, rendering him a stranger to your existence. Yet, the thought pierced your heart like a dagger; to be forgotten was a torment worse than heartbreak. Aemond’s scorn would be a balm compared to losing him entirely, for you would rather endure his hatred than vanish from his memory.
Closing your eyes, you braced yourself for the inevitable scorn, the revulsion you feared would pour forth from his lips. Instead, you felt his hands, warm and tender, gripping your face with an intensity that stole your breath. “Look at me,” he urged, his voice a gentle command.
With reluctance, you opened her eyes, meeting his piercing violet gaze that seemed to see through to your very essence. "I do not care," he declared, as though his unwavering love could alone mend the fractures within your heart.
A tidal wave of anger surged through you—not directed at him, but ignited by the very depth of his relentless love. With a swift motion, you pushed him away, desperation fueling your words as they spilled forth like a torrent. “You should care! You must understand, Aemond— I am not good for you, and I am certainly not worthy of your love.”
Aemond’s frustration prickled in the air as he gestured animatedly, his brows knitting together as if you had unleashed a storm within him. “And who are you to declare yourself unworthy? Do you think Aegon worthy of the Iron Throne?”
You let out a derisive scoff, the incredulity igniting your tone. "Comparing me to Aegon? That is a completely different situation," you stressed, your words punctuated with defiance.
"I cannot fathom your urge to push me away," Aemond's voice rose, desperation lacing his every syllable. The calm mask he wore shattered, revealing the turmoil beneath. “Is it because you do not love me?”
The weight of his question struck you like a lightning bolt. You could feel the tears welling, and you felt the weight of your own heart as it threatened to overflow. Unconsciously, you yelled, “Of course I love you, Aemond! How could I not," The urgency in your voice rose, a plea wrapped in desperation. “But what you fail to grasp is—”
“You love me," All traces of anger evaporated from his expression; instead, a spark of something else ignited in his eyes as he latched onto your statement.
You faltered, momentarily confused. “What?”
“You love me,” he echoed, his voice rising with fervor, amplifying the truth hanging in the air like a spell.
With a scoff, you shook her head, trying to dismiss the revelation. “That is not the point of the matter, Aemond—”
“It is indeed the point,” he countered, stepping closer, his presence overwhelming as he reached out, cradling your face in his hands. “Because you love me, and I love you.”
A weary sigh escaped your lips, the weight of his insistence pressing down on you. “Aemond, you’re not hearing me.”
“I am,” he replied earnestly, his thumbs brushing softly against your cheek, “I hear you, and yet your heart speaks a truth that cannot be silenced: you love me.”
And as Aemond leaned closer, that fierce violet eye consuming your own, your defenses began to crumble. His lips brushed against yours, igniting a spark that uncoiled like wildfire within you. Resistance became a ghost, fading in the heat of your shared breath as your mouths melded together. Aemond's tongue slid past your lips, a tantalizing invasion, and you found herself yielding to the irresistible pull of desire, your essences intertwining in a dance as ancient as the realms you inhabited.
With each caress from his skilled hands, the world around you faded into oblivion, thoughts dispersing like ash in the wind. You clutched at his neck, your fingers tangling in his silver locks as you deepened your kiss, hungry for more. Aemond's grip roamed boldly across your form, igniting a fire beneath your skin that made your pulse quicken—a symphony of passion building between the two of you. You could feel the unmistakable hardness of his desire pressing against you, stirring a yearning that enveloped you.
As the kiss broke, your breaths mingled, thick with anticipation. Aemond trailed hot kisses along the delicate curve of your neck, his lips sending tremors through your body. A gasp escaped your lips as he scooped you up with effortless strength, your legs instinctively wrapping around his waist, your body fitting perfectly against his as he pressed you closer. Your bodies met, his erection unmistakable even through the barriers of your clothing, igniting a primal need that demanded resolution.
He carried you to the nearest table, as he laid you down, the cool surface contrasted with the heat emanating from your bodies. Aemond’s fingers deftly hiked up the hem of your dress, each inch sending electric thrills along your spine, leaving your breathless.
"Do you want this?" he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper yet filled with a primal urgency that stirred something deep within you, all of your hesitation gone.
With languid desire pooling in between your legs, you yielded, your desperation spilling over into your voice as you breathed, "Take me now, Aemond. I wish to feel you in me, even after I've departed."
His response to your words was immediate and animalistic, a predatory instinct awakened. A growl rumbled deep in his chest, words lost to the fervor that gripped him. Like a tempest unleashed, he tore away the delicate fabric that separated the two of you, casting it aside with a fervent urgency. His fingers deftly unfastened the laces of his trousers, the sound echoing in the otherwise quiet room.
In an instant, he pulled you closer, your bodies colliding with an electric urgency. The tip of his cock grazed your slick heat, a tantalizing tease that sent ripples of desire coursing through your veins. With each passing moment, your body ached for him, the need swelling within you like a tide crashing against the shore.
“Please,” you breathed, your tone rich with longing, “I cannot wait any longer.”
Before you could utter another plea, Aemond surged forward, his curved tip breaking through the barrier of your softness. Moments stretched into eternity as he filled you, a divine sensation that stole your breath. It felt like fire and ice intertwined, the ecstasy consuming you both.
As you joined together, he leaned over you, your faces mere breaths apart. His lips found yours, capturing the essence of your fervent connection in a searing kiss that tasted of bloodlust and boundless craving.
You were not a creature of restraint, especially not in the heat of the moment. With a sly, vixen-like grace, you entwined her legs around Aemond's waist, ensnaring him effortlessly. The force of your pull sent him slamming into you, your bodies colliding with a fervor that made the very air sizzle with electric desire. Aemond groaned, a primal growl escaping his lips as he felt the intoxicating warmth envelop him completely; he was ensnared by you as if caught in a hunter's trap.
Your soft moans echoed like a siren's song, urging Aemond on as your lips trailed kisses down the cool expanse of his alabaster skin. Each kiss was deliberate; it was a tantalizing dance between temptation and control. Your fangs tingled with the hunger for his fiery dragon blood, simmering ever closer to the surface, but for now, you quelled that urge with sheer willpower.
Yet Aemond, with his predatory instincts ignited, began to thrust into you with a relentless rhythm, your flesh meeting with a damp slap that resonated through the great hall like a heartbeat as Aemond thrust himself into your cunt over and over. The air thickened with the sweet scent of lust, pleasure, and something darker that lingered in the wake of your intensity.
“When will you truly understand?” Aemond rasped, his breath quickening as he plunged into you with fervor. The rhythmic, wet sounds reverberated softly in the room, his hand finding its way to your most sensitive spot, teasing your clit with skilled flicks. “You were made for me, just as I was for you.”
Pleasure surged through your veins, overwhelming your senses as you murmured, “I love you.”
With deliberate movements, Aemond traced slow, firm circles on your pearl, lowering his body closer to yours as he whispered against your lips, “I love you.”
A soft whine escaped your lips as your body tightened around him, waves of ecstasy crashing over you in a blinding storm of sensation. Aemond was drawn to your peak, his own release spiraling just behind yours. He let out a deep groan, his essence spilling inside you as he collapsed against you, panting, entirely lost in the moment.
You felt Aemond's warm breath against your skin as he leaned closer, his lips brushing your ear. “Nuhon,” he murmured, his words carrying an electricity that entwined your very essence with his. (Mine)
For a fleeting moment, you tightened your grip on him, reluctant to sever the bond that pulsed between you. Yet, time was against you, and Aemond slowly withdrew himself, his gaze piercing into yours, leaving an ache in the space inside you. A soft gasp escaped your lips; the void he left behind felt cavernous, devoid of his heat, as you only felt emptiness.
Silently, you watched as he regained his composure, the delicate dance of his fingers deftly lacing his trousers. As he turned, casting his attentive eye around the chamber, he picked up a handkerchief with a gentle touch.
What followed was an act more intimate than what the two of you had just done—the careful way he wiped away the remnants of your shared passion felt surreal. Aemond's hands were gentle, almost reverent, as he smoothed your skirts back into place, making you feel cherished in a way that transcended the physical.
His hands found their home on your waist, solid yet gentle, your fingers instinctively wrapping around his shoulders. With a graceful lift, he eased you from the tabletop, setting you down on the cold stone floor. His gaze shifted downwards, landing on your stomach, and a wave of panic surged through you, yet you instinctively placed your hand over your stomach, wishing to shield it from his penetrating stare.
“You must drink moon tea before you depart,” he murmured, his voice laced with a trace of regret, as though he carried the weight of unspoken truths.
A harsh swallow caught in your throat. It was an empty act for you to do, as your womb lay barren, yet the implications of his words hung heavy in the air. You turned your gaze away from him, a flicker of vulnerability dancing across your features, and nodded nonetheless.
His hand, warm and reassuring, cupped your cheek, gently guiding your eyes back to his. "I shall fetch some for you. Wait here, I will return shortly."
Silently, you nodded, feeling the electrifying brush of his lips against yours in a fleeting kiss, a soft collision of breath that sent shivers through your being. It was a moment suspended in time, brief yet profound, leaving you yearning for more. But before you could fully savor it, he withdrew, leaving your chambers cloaked in the bittersweet essence of his absence.
You busied yourself, gathering the few belongings you possessed, when Aemond returned with striking swiftness. A sense of discomfort washed over you as you drank the vile tea, acutely aware of his watchful eye.
After a brief silence, you dared to glance up at him, a question dancing on your lips. "Do you intend to escort me to the courtyard?"
His gaze remained piercing, an unwavering ember in the flickering light. "Indeed," he replied with a hum that resonated between you.
A sigh escaped you as you reached for your trunk of belongings, but before you could grasp it, Aemond’s hand was there, lifting it away with a possessive ease. A small spark of frustration flickered within you, yet words eluded your lips as you and he made your way through the dim hallways toward the courtyard.
The silence stretched between you, heavy and palpable, each lost in private thoughts as you pushed open the grand doors leading into the courtyard. A sea of anxious faces greeted you, their attention fixed squarely on your arrival.
Shame washed over you as you realized you were the last to come forth, and with Aemond at your side, the scrutiny felt even more intensified. Yet, this was a moment that demanded courage. You squared your shoulders and set your gaze ahead, making your way toward Helaena.
Her eyes danced with sorrow as she stepped forward, cradling her sleeping son, and placing him tenderly into your arms. You held him protectively, your voice dropping to a fervent whisper. “I promise I shall protect him with my life.”
Helaena's expression softened, her hand gently caressing the boy’s delicate face before nodding in earnest agreement. As you turned, your gaze met Aegon’s, his watchful eyes drilling into you, fixated on the sleeping prince nestled securely in your embrace.
With a steadying breath, you made your way toward the carriage, but a hand on your shoulder halted your steps. You turned to find Alicent, her eyes reflecting a sadness that tugged at your heart. She offered you a tight smile, squeezing your shoulder in a gesture of support. “You’re performing a great service for the crown,” she said, her voice filled with sincerity. You could only nod in acknowledgment as she added softly, “Promise me you’ll look after yourself.”
“Of course, My Queen,” you murmured, tightening your hold on Jaehaerys, his warmth a comforting presence against your chest.
Her smile deepened, and she said, "I will pray for the safety of both you and Jaehaerys."
“Thank you, Queen Mother,” your heart swelled at her words, while you whispered the word 'mother' as if it was sacred.
As you stepped into the carriage, you turned once more, your gaze locking with Aemond’s, unspoken words hung heavy in the air between you. Just then, a white cloak swept to close the door, sealing you and the sleeping prince in an intimate cocoon of silence.
When Jaehaerys stirred awake, panic etched across his delicate features, his bright violet eyes wide with confusion, had required an abundance of soft whispers and lots of patience from you. With tenderness, you had reassured him, carefully explaining the necessity of his departure, a necessary measure for his safety.
“What of Jaehaera?” he inquired, his voice laced with anxiety as he searched your face for answers.
A frown tugged at your lips as you deliberated, knowing the harsh truth—that his life must take precedence, for he was the heir. Instead, you offered a gentle smile, fabricating a reassuring lie. “She is being taken somewhere else, my Prince.”
“And Shrykos?” the small prince pressed, his tiny hands fiddling with one of the lemon cakes hastily packed in by the Queen Dowager.
You gazed down at Jaehaerys, who nestled against your side, “Shrykos and Morghul will remain safe within the Dragonpit,” you whispered softly.
A deep sigh escaped him, a pout forming on his lips as he burrowed deeper into your embrace. “I've never been away from Mama or Jaehaera before..." he murmured, his small frame trembling with a mix of fear and longing.
Wrapping an arm around him, you tightened your hold, "Fear not, my prince. I will keep you safe. And soon, you will be reunited with them," you murmured.
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You were suffocating in boredom. Two endless days cooped inside this rickety carriage left you feeling more drained than when you began. The road to Highgarden loomed ahead, a serpentine path promising nearly a month's worth of dreary travel. Restlessness gnawed at you, a specter whispering in your ear, as you devised a plan.
Murdering the three White Cloaks tasked with your escort was an appealing thought. Yes, it would be regrettable, but the crude vulgarities spilling from their lips, laced with the foulest lechery as they leered at you, twisted the notion into something almost justifiable.
Once the deed was done, once the lifeblood of those pompous guards stained the earth beneath you, you would take Jaehaerys and make your way back to King's Landing. You would craft a tale of treachery—how you were ambushed by Rhaenyra's sympathizers, forcing you to retreat and return.
As Jaehaerys slept peacefully beside you, his form curled like a contented cat, you decided now was the best time to act. With delicate care, you shifted him onto his back, ensuring he remained undisturbed. You then directed your attention to the partition that separated your lavish prison from the brutish guards beyond.
With a purposeful knock, you roused their attention, your senses heightened, attuned to the disgruntled murmurs that reached your ears as the carriage shuddered to a halt. The door swung open abruptly, revealing Ser Loren, his face taut with irritation, the kind one might expect of a man dragged from the warmth of the sun into the chill of night.
“What,” he snapped, brows furrowing with annoyance, the tone of a man used to being in command.
In response, you offered him an enchanting smile, sweet as nectar dripping from a ripe fruit, and raised a hand to cup his cheek. The confusion flitted across his features, but your grip was steadfast as you redirected his gaze to meet yours.
“Ser Loren,” you murmured, the subtle power of your compulsion thrumming through you like a siren's song. “I need you to slay your fellow guards for me.”
His eyes widened, the flicker of uncertainty sparking a thrill within you. Yet, you tightened your hold, your voice dropping to a velvety whisper as you compelled him anew. “Do not utter a word,” you commanded softly. “You will carry out my will without hesitation, and when that is done…you shall take your own life.”
“Now go,” you urged, the finality of your words binding him as surely as any ancient spell.
As he departed, you closed the door with a soft click and settled back beside the peacefully slumbering Jaehaerys, the anticipation coursing through you like a potent elixir. Through your enhanced hearing, you could make out Ser Loren’s hesitant movements as he drew his sword. The air was thick with tension as you tuned into the muffled voices of his comrades, their puzzled murmurs a prelude to chaos.
Then came the dreadful sound of steel meeting flesh, followed by the piercing screams of two men, echoing in stark contrast to the quiet of your carriage. The ritual continued—a whimper preceding yet another stinging strike of blade on flesh—until an oppressive silence fell, wrapping around you like a shroud.
Rising to your feet, you opened the door and stepped out into the chaos. The sight that met your eyes was macabre: the fallen guards lay sprawled upon the ground, their once-pristine white cloaks now marred with blood, a stark contrast to the pale of their skin. Only the soft whicker of the horses broke the stillness.
With a satisfied hum, you turned your attention back to the carriage, intent on retrieving Jaehaerys. By horseback, you would make your way back to King’s Landing. Slipping back inside, you knelt beside the sleeping prince, your heart sinking as you perceived an ominous shift in Jaehaerys.
Gently placing your hand against his brow, a frown twisted your features upon feeling his rising temperature. Panic bubbled within you as realization struck: the boy was burning with fever, likely the consequence of his first venture beyond the castle walls. His frail immune system was struggling against the onslaught of illness. Children, as you knew all too well, were vulnerable, and fevers could turn grave in the blink of an eye.
Time was of the essence; you needed to find safety for him, a sanctuary where he could heal swiftly.
With care, you gathered him into your arms, cocooning him in a soft blanket to protect his fragile form. Then, you climbed onto a horse with him nestled closely against you. Urging the steed forward, you set your sights on the nearest village, aware that King’s Landing would have to wait—your priority was the precious life cradled in your embrace.
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What you were blissfully unaware of was how swiftly whispers of three slain white cloaks would flutter to the ear of King's Landing. Such is the nature of tidings that venture too far from their origin—truth, like shadows, warps in the light of rumor.
What reached the capital painted a grim picture: three white cloaks brutally cut down, their carriage reduced to cinders, with the lady and the prince within consumed by flames. Perhaps there lay some truth to this tale; after you'd fled with Prince Jaehaerys, desperate commoners stumbled upon your carriage, and in their frenzy, laid it to waste.
And so, that account flew to King's Landing with the swiftness of a raven on the wing.
"He's dead," Aegon breathed, his voice thick with disbelief, as he struggled to absorb the weight of the news. "He's dead!"
In a fit of rage, Aegon hurled a glass goblet against the stone wall, shattering it into a thousand shards, his fury echoing within the council chamber. "I’ll kill them all!"
He pounded the table with sufficient force that the goblets rattled, while the rest of the council sat in stunned silence, their eyes upon him. "This is war! I declare war! I declare war!" His voice rose, raw and strident.
With cheeks flushed and a face streaked with remnants of tears, Aegon turned to his Grandsire, his expression a tempest of anger and anguish. "This is your doing! All of this is your fault!"
Alicent, glancing nervously between her father and her son, sought to defuse the tension crackling in the air. "He did not kill Jaehaerys, Aegon," she insisted softly, her voice trembling with urgency.
"No! He merely sent him forth to meet his doom!" Aegon shouted, his despair morphing into a howling tempest.
Otto's gaze remained steady but weary as he leaned back in his seat, allowing a heavy sigh to escape him. "It was a miscalculation on my part."
"A miscalculation that cost my son's life!" Aegon's anguished cry reverberated through the chamber.
"And yet, no one was privy to Jaehaerys’ departure, which suggests treachery lies among us," Lord Larys Strong observed softly, his voice laced with a chilling certainty.
Aegon turned his gaze to the council, suspicion etching lines on his youthful face. "Then it could very well be any one of you!" He thrust a finger towards the council members, prowling behind the table as a predator.
“While Lord Larys raises a point of merit,” Otto continued, as Aegon sank heavily into the head chair, the weight of his grief palpable as tears fell freely down his cheeks, “Jaehaerys will do more for us now than a thousand knights in battle. You will have your war, Your Grace. But if you wait a short time, you may yet double your strength.”
"Mother," Aegon whispered, his voice a fragile wisp swirling in the air, laden with unshed sorrow and searching for comfort.
Alicent stepped closer, her hand settling gently on her son’s shoulder. "The Hand sets on a difficult path, my darling, but it, it might be the right one."
Otto, with an air of finality, declared, "Let us continue with the funeral procession for Jaehaerys. He shall be honored with a grand casket, and riding behind it, the Queen, and with her, the Queen Dowager."
Alicent shook her head in disagreement. "No, I no longer wish for it to become some grand spectacle."
“The realm must see the sorrow of the crown,” Otto asserted, his tone brooking no argument, “a sorrow best expressed through its most gentle souls.”
Casting one last mournful glance at her son, Alicent firmed her resolve. “I think you’ll all agree the king himself must be spared.”
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“No. No. It cannot be true,” Helaena whispered, her voice barely above a breath, as she shook her head in disbelief. Alicent stepped forward, the weight of the grim tidings looming over her like a storm cloud, heavy with sorrow.
“The carriage… it was consumed by flames,” Alicent spoke, her voice trembling with the pain of the knowledge she bore.
Helaena’s denial tightened its grip on her heart; she paced restlessly, the fabric of her gown whispering against the stone floor. “She promised me,” Memories of warm embraces and gentle reassurances echoed in her mind, each one a testament to the promise that now lay shattered, “She swore she would protect him.”
“Helaena—” Alicent's hand reached out, a mother’s instinct to comfort surging forth.
Yet Helaena recoiled from the touch, wrestling her emotions. “They are alive, I can feel it,” she insisted, the desperation in her voice soaring.
“There were no survivors,” Alicent replied, her tone heavy with the weight of acceptance, an acceptance that felt like betrayal.
Helaena’s eyes glistened with tears as she twisted her fingers together, seeking solace in their familiar dance. Alicent took a deep breath, gathering herself before adding, “The funeral for Jaehaerys will go on as planned, and… we’ve been asked to ride on a wagon throughout the city.”
With a swift turn, Helaena faced away from her mother, leaning against a sturdy timber beam that framed her bed. “I don’t want to,” she murmured, her voice defiant yet frayed.
Alicent’s expression twisted with empathy; she understood her daughter’s pain all too well. “Neither do I,” she admitted, her heart heavy with the weight of duty. “But when a thing like this happens… a blow to the king is a blow to the realm. When the people share our grief, they draw closer to us.”
“I don’t want them closer,” Helaena shot back, “I don't know them.”
“Sometimes, we have to pretend,” Alicent whispered.
Defiance shattered, the tears Helaena had valiantly held at bay now cascaded down her cheeks. The truth settled in her chest like a stone. “Why?” she questioned, her voice choked with pain.
Alicent stepped closer, “We are representatives of the throne. We have a duty,” she reaffirmed.
Helaena offered no reply, her silence a testament to her grief. Instead, she turned away, allowing her tears to flow freely as she braced herself to mourn not only the loss of her son but the fading light of her dearest friend.
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You were dead.
Those haunting words echoed relentlessly in Aemond's mind, a cruel mantra he could not shake off. You were gone, and he would never again behold your celestial beauty, nor bask in the warmth of your radiant smile. The soft comfort of your embrace, which had always been his sanctuary, was lost to him forever. You were gone, and with that, the future he had imagined—a life entwined with yours, filled with laughter, children, and the tender joys of family—vanished into the ether.
He knew he should have fought against the tides of fate, should have raised his voice and insisted on accompanying you to The Reach. But in that fateful moment, he had faltered, and now the price was your death.
The one soul who had loved him unconditionally—perhaps the only soul that ever had.
In the throes of despair, he had ravaged his own chambers in a storm of sorrow, crashing furniture and shattering glass. Yet, even amidst the chaos, he found no solace. Driven by a desperation he could hardly understand, he stumbled to your chambers, longing to find you smiling, blissfully unaware of his turmoil.
But the truth awaited him there, stark and unforgiving: your room stood as a mausoleum, empty and frigid, a world devoid of the warmth you once brought. A wretched reminder lingered in the air, a bittersweet trace of your scent that was now inseparable from his suffering.
And so, in his agony, he lay upon your bed, a canvas of despair draped in the remnants of your essence. He curled around your pillow, desperately inhaling the lingering fragrance of you, each breath a silent prayer for your return as tears slipped from his eyes, tracing paths down his cheeks.
There was a desperate thought that flirted with the edges of his grief—perhaps he should end it all, surrender to the oblivion that beckoned. In that darkness, he imagined a reunion with you, a sweet escape from the relentless pain of war and dread. Yet even in his muddled sorrow, a flicker of sanity held him back, urging him to cling to the slivers of his own existence, the remnants of a life that felt achingly incomplete without you.
Even if he were to shatter this fragile existence, he knew deep down that he would not be reunited with you; heaven would welcome your pure soul, while he would drown in the torment of hell's grasp.
Shame twisted in his gut as he found himself in the Blue Pearl, entwined with a woman who was not you. The very same woman who had robbed him of his innocence so many years ago, the one who had snuffed out the last vestiges of his untainted childhood.
"The love of my life is dead," Aemond murmured, his voice barely more than a whisper against Madam Sylvi's soft, perfumed skin. He was acutely aware of the hollowness inside him, a well from which no more tears could flow.
"You are still young, my prince. There will be many more to come," Sylvi cooed, her voice a melodic attempt to soothe his anguish. But her words only ignited a flicker of anger within him. How could she presume to understand? How could she speak of future loves when in his heart, there was only room for you?
"The last time I laid eyes on her, she told me she loved me," he said, squeezing his eyes shut as if he could summon forth that cherished moment. "I was the happiest I had ever been. And yet, how swiftly that joy was cruelly ripped away."
"Daemon sent them to kill me," he continued, his tone darkening with the weight of truth. "I was out."
"You were here," Sylvi stated.
"In truth, I am proud… that he considers me such a foe," Aemond confessed, a grim satisfaction threading through his grief. "And that he seeks to murder me in my bed—he fears me. His actions have borne my lady love’s tragic end, and he will answer for it."
"As well he should," Sylvi replied, her gaze intense. "The boy is grown into a man." She leaned closer, her lips hovering tantalizingly close to his.
"Mm. No. Not here," Aemond said with a frown, his body recoiling from her advances. Disgust flooded through him as he shifted away from her, seeking refuge on her thighs, though his thoughts were elsewhere. The brothel faded into the background as memories of you flooded his mind—your laughter, your warmth, the connection that ignited his very soul.
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(I love making these vids)
Names that are in bold are ones that couldn't be added :(
@barnes70stark @izabell26 @anyisaravia2001 @urdeftonesgrrrl @helo1281917 @strangefunthornqueen @ellie-xOxo @hueanhdang @elenapri0502 @goest-and-fuckest-thyself-blog @caged-birdies-blog @darktrashsoulbear @lenavonswartzschild @writtenbyhollywood @gl4ssw1ngp1xy @goddesslilithmoriarty @sunset18rose @filmflux @ln8118 @esposadomd @sara-grimes-yess @littybeech @gyneve @https-kokomi @void21 @yariany02 @baby-w3-ar3-infinite @baby-i-can-see-your-reylo @niktwazny303 @missyviolet123 @caribbeangal @ggukiespace @levimaids @Lokisgoddessofpower @anakilusmos @spacexdrago @strawberymilktea @snowtargaryen @fiction-fanfic-reader @feelingfaye @sxlsvv
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lizzy06 · 1 month
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Takami Keigo(Hawks) x Reader Fic Recs!! (Tumblr/Ao3/Wattpad)
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My Hero Academia Fic Rec Masterlist
lay low (take it slow) ✨by @andypantsx3/andypantsx3(college student! reader, hurt/comfort, fluff, eventual smut) What even was the right google search for this situation? How do I sew someone back together without passing out? How do I not barf on the pro hero I’m stitching up? Or, Hawks’ game of double agent lands him in the shaky hands of one (1) very unequipped English major.[COMPLETED]
Falling for You ✨by @flannel-cladpika (oneshot, soulmate au, fluff)Every year, on your birthdays, you two will switch quirks.[COMPLETED]
Golden ✨by @meganshinsou-tm (oneshot, soulmate au, fluff) When you touch yoursoulmate for the first time a thin gold line with be etched around your wrists.
Soul Chicken by @hitsuackerman (oneshot, soulmate au, fluff) Soulmate AU where the first words your soulmate says to you are written on your wrist and while Hawks has an absolutely unhelpful phrase written on them, y/n has something….unique.
Bird Hunting | Pt.2:Bird's Nest✨ by @a-n-conrad (oneshot, soulmate au)In a world where your soulmate was found through a symbol appearing on your left forearm, hinting at the quirk of your soulmate, you had to admit that you were lucky. You already knew who your soulmate was. The only issue was that there was really no way for you, an ordinary person, to get anywhere near the number 2 hero.
Petals and Feather✨ by @a-n-conrad(oneshot, hanahaki au, angst with happy ending) You’ve finally gotten a job as a sidekick after graduating from UA about a year before. But after working with Hawks for a few months it starts to get a bit hard to breathe. How are you supposed to fix a case of Hanahaki disease when you happened to fall in love with the most emotionally unavailable hero alive? [COMPLETED]
BNHA Soulmate AU Week Day 4: Save Your Soul by @writing-freak (oneshot, soulmate au, fluff)part of soulmate au week; everyone has colorful marks on their skin where their soulmate touches them for the first time. you’re determined to hide your soulmarks: a pair of hands on your waist.[COMPLETED]
“you really have got nothing to do on a friday night”  by @bakugohoex (oneshot, fluff)in which your friend keigo invites you to a pro hero event as his plus one, the event leads to a lot more than you expected.[COMPLETED]
Little Moments by @bnhascribbles (oneshot, fluff)Just Hawk's early morning visit.[COMPLETED]
lavender latte✨ by luxdeoro (coffee shop au, fluff, mutual pinning)You serve Hawks a lavender, oat milk latte. Not only is he hooked on your drinks, but he's hooked on you as well.[ONGOING]
a spoonful of sugar✨✨ by Mossful (fluff, angst) In which the Reader bakes and Hawks eats.[COMPLETED]
Pocket Full of Feathers✨ by forthesanityof1 (fluff, humor) You are an investigative journalist starting at a new agency. A chance meeting brings you and Hawks together and starts some odd behaviors on his part. You dismiss it, but end up meeting the hero again and again over time. Slowly, you start to realize things are occurring both within and outside of your control.[COMPLETED]
(Quirk)y Days✨✨ by wotefokizbrunch(fluff, angst, hurt/comfort) In a world where 80% of the population has some wacky power, it is expected for strange shit to happen on accident, or even on purpose, like that one time a villain hit Hawks with a deaging quirk; he left that morning for work his grown ass self and then you had to pick his 5-year-old-self up from the agency.[COMPLETED]
and i've gotta crow ✨by dashielldeveron(enemies to lovers, ) “We’re engaged to be married.” No, you are not. After an accident that was that bastard Hawks’s fault, you decide to play along with your diagnosis of amnesia, among other things, because how far can you make your former bully bend over backwards for you?[COMPLETED]
Color Blind✨ by HeroAssociation(soulmate au, fluff, angst with happy ending) Takami Keigo, otherwise known as the Winged Hero Hawks, had one such mark. He never expected, nor looked for, the person that would change it. Then he found you by accident.[COMPLETED]
The Harpy by romanceisdeadbutimnot(enemies to lovers, fantasy au, fluff) Desperate for adventure you volunteer to check the monster traps protecting your small village. To your surprise you catch a wounded half bird half man, and decide to nurse him back to health.[COMPLETED]
What's Got Your Feathers In A Bunch? by darkenedniqhts(oneshot, fluff, humor)When Hawks saves you from a villain attack, you hit it off surprisingly well, considering the circumstances. Everything is going great, until he meets your roommate.[COMPLETED]
Compelling/tumblr by @bnhascribbles/ ScatteredScribbles(oneshot, hurt/comfort) Hey listen, I’ve got a lot of baggage when it comes to my quirk. Could you repeat the word “yes” if you’re here of your own free will? Oh, and since you’ll probably say that either way and since I’m an emotionally compromised freak, just know that I’ll never actually feel secure in our relationship. This’ll definitely be a recurring thing, and it’s probably gonna be the reason why we end terribly.[COMPLETED]
 Blush by @flannel-cladpika (oneshot, fluff)[COMPLETED]
Headlines✨ by @bnhascribbles(oneshot, fluff) Holding up the newspaper in plain view, you take steady, ominous steps towards his desk. “Any last words, birdbrain?”[COMPLETED]
Stuck In An Elavator With You by @yeahimaloser (oneshot, fluff)he hadn’t really dated anyone before (not seriously anyway), so when he began to develop feelings for a certain someone, he was surprised, to say the least.[COMPLETED]
The Sky is Everywhere by @dira333/Fogfire(oneshot, hurt/comfort, angst with happy ending)Post-Break up is before the Break up…[COMPLETED]
Sometime Around Midnight✨ by 0weCrew(friends to lovers, fluff, hurt/comfort, angst with happy ending) All you wanted to do was enjoy a quiet night looking up at the stars. But fate decided to mess with you instead, and Japan's favorite birdbrain crashed your pity party of one by scaring you shitless.[COMPLETED]
Preening✨ by royalwilds(oneshot, fluff)Hawks loves your hair, playing with it, brushing it, washing it. you realize that it comes from another instinctual nature of his. You try to figure out how to return the gesture.[COMPLETED]
Babybird by Pomenocti(oneshot, fluff)Just Hawks being a dad.[COMPLETED]
Crash✨ by ivan_glee(oneshot, fluff)In which Reader is sunbathing and gets an unexpected visit from the No. 2 hero.[COMPLETED]
A Lungful of Smoke✨ by UnluckyAmulet(oneshot, fluff) As if nearly dying today wasn't bad enough…now you have a crush, too. Damn it.[COMPLETED]
Little Bird by alaskasmonsters(oneshot, fluff) Hawks wasn’t just the charming number two pro-hero the world knew him as. No, he had other sides to him, sides only you, his roommate, had the privilege to uncover. Especially his more birdlike quirks. Like how much he relaxed when people took care of his wings…[COMPLETED]
crawl home to me✨ by Hawnks (supermintfluff)(oneshot, strangers to lovers, hurt/comfort) What is a hero besides determination and hunger? What is a lover if not a resting place?[COMPLETED]
Shiny Things by royalwilds(oneshot, fluff) Hawks has more bird-like tendencies than you initially thought. He likes to present you with odd items as gifts and finally you figure out why.[COMPLETED]
Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery by galatiq(oneshot, fluff, humor. coffee shop au) When you put a coffee shop and a nasty storm together, apparently you get Big Bird from Sesame Street crashing into your window. [COMPLETED]
Flowers, Wings, Smirks and Quirks (Ingredients for Love) by ENDisI (oneshot, angst with happy ending, hanahaki disease au) Why was it when you joked about Hanahaki not being real, fate just slaps you awake and tells you "Oh, it's true. You didn't know?" [COMPLETED]
i am your salvation✨ by luxdeoro(oneshot, angst, hurt/comfort) Keigo loses his wings and most of himself, and you're around to try and pick up the pieces.[COMPLETED]
Balcony by RyeTarts(friends to lovers, fluff, slight angst, smut<18+>) After saving you from an office building fire, Hawks thinks that your paths were no longer intertwined. Oh how wrong he would be.[COMPLETED]
Birds Of A Feather by CheerieCherrie(fluff, explicit skippable chp.6) You move to Japan for a change of pace in your hectic life. It doesn't happen, thanks to one chaotic bird man.[COMPLETED]
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astrocafecoffee · 4 months
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✨Your Past Life 🌌✨
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~✨ For entertainment purposes only, enjoy ✨
💫 what to check??
- check your south node in your natal chart, which house it falls in. It can give you insight about your past life as South node represents past experiences, patterns, and talents that an individual brings into their current life from previous incarnations.
Leshh go!! 🍂
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✨ South node in 1st house:
- sn in 1st house suggests that themes related to self identity, personal expression and the physical body may have been significant in past lives.
- you may have been highly independent, assertive, and self reliant, perhaps even to the point of being self centred or overly concerned with your own needs.
- you might have been a leader or pioneer in some way, forging your own path and asserting your individuality in the world.
- may also have struggled with issues of egob, self absorption or tendency to prioritise your own interest above others.
- in past incarnations you might have cultivated skills related to physical expression, such as athleticism, dance or physical charisma. You may have been known for your appearance, charm or ability to make a strong impression on others.
- in your current life you may be called to balance your focus on the self with a greater awareness of the needs and feeling of others. You may be learning to cultivate humility, empathy and a deeper understanding of your interconnectedness with the world around you.
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✨ South node in 2nd house:
- sn in 2nd house suggests that themes related to material possessions, values, self worth and resources may have been significant in past lives.
- in past lives you may have been deeply entrenched in the material world, attaching your sense of self worth and security to external factors such as wealth, possessions or status.
- you may have been involved in occupations or pursuits related to finance, banking or real estate or other areas where material resources were central.
- challenges related to attachment to material possessions, possessiveness or a sense of entitlement.
- may struggled with issues of greed, insecurity or a fear of loss , leading to difficulties in relationships or an inability to find true fulfillment beyond material wealth.
- in your current life you may be called to reassess your values and priorities recognising that true abundance and security come from within rather than from external sources.
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✨ South node in 3rd house:
- sn in 3rd house suggests that themes related to communication, learning, siblings, and early education may have been significant in past lives.
- you may have been highly intellectual, curious,and articulate with a natural talent for expressing yourself through writing, speaking or teaching.
- in past lives you may have been a scholar , writer, teacher, or traveler, engaging in pursuits that allowed you to share your wisdom and insights with others.
- you might have had close relationship with your siblings or peers who served as intellectual companions or rivals , encouraging you to excel in your pursuits of knowledge and learning.
- you may have experienced difficulties in forming deep emotional connections with others or may have struggled with issues related to gossip, rumours or miscommunication.
- there may have been a tendency to get caught up in petty disagreements.
- in your current life you may be called to balance your intellectual pursuits with a deeper understanding of the importance of emotional connection and empathy in your relationships.
- trust your intuition and communicate with others from a place of authenticity and compassion rather than purely from a rational or analytical perspective.
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✨ South node in 4th house:
- with sn in 4th house you likely had past lives where family dynamics played a significant role. This could manifest in various ways , such as being deeply attached to your family, experiencing challenges within the family structure or being heavily influenced by your ancestral lineage.
- there might have been past life experiences where you struggled with issues of nurturing and security. This could involve experiences of abandonment, neglect or lack of emotional support within your family environment.
- past life experiences may have involved repeating certain family patterns or dynamics that have been passed down through generations. This pattern could be both positive and negative, and part of your soul's journey In this lifetime may involve breaking free from any destructive cycles.
- there may be unresolved ancestral wounds or traumas that you carry from past lives, which could manifest as subconscious fears, phobias, or patterns of behaviour. Working on healing these wounds can lead to greater emotional freedom an spiritual growth in this lifetime.
- you may have been involved in occupations like family business or inheritance or home related occupations.or nursing, counciling or social work.
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✨ South node in 5th house:
- with sn in 5th house in your past life you were a vibrant and creative soul. You may have been a artist, a performer or someone who radiated charisma and enthusiasm wherever you went.
- your love life was like a grand epic , filled with passionate romances and intense emotional experiences. You may have been involved in dramatic love affairs, where the highs were euphoric and the lows plunged you into depths of despair.
- children may have also played a significant role in your past life, whether as a devoted parent or a beloved mentor, you cherished the youthful exuberance and innocence they brought into your life.
- however your attachment to fame, pleasure and the pursuit of momentary happiness may have led you astray at times, causing you to lose sight of your deeper purpose and spiritual fulfillment.
- now in this lifetime you may find yourself naturally drawn to avenues of creativity, romance and self expression, but there's also a deeper calling within you , urging you to seek spiritual growth and fulfillment on a soul level.
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✨ South node in 6th house:
- sn in 6th house suggests that in past life you might have been someone deeply involved in service or work that revolved around healing, health, or caretaking in some form. perhaps you were a dedicated healer, herbalist, or even a doctor, working tirelessly to help others overcome illness and ailments. Your daily life might have been structured around your work.
- however, despite your Nobel intentions there might have been a tendency to become overly fixated on the details or to be overly critical of yourself and others. Maybe you struggled with perfectionism or a sense of never feeling like you were doing enough. This could even led to feelings of frustration or even burnout over time.
- in this lifetime, the challenge for you is to find a balance between serving others and taking care of yourself, and to learn to let go of the need for perfection and self criticism.
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✨ South node in 7th house:
- sn in 7th house suggests that in past lives you may have focused a lot on partnerships , relationships, and one-on-one interactions.
- your past life may have been marked by experiences of intense emotional connections with others as well as lessons around compromise, negotiation and learning to see things from different perspectives.
- at times, you may have also faced difficulties in asserting your own needs and boundaries within your relationship, leading to feelings of resentment or imbalance. This could have resulted in patterns of seeking validation and approval from others, rather than cultivating a strong sense of self worth and autonomy.
- in this lifetime, you may drawn to experiences that echo these past life themes. You may place a strong emphasis on your relationships and partnerships , seeking to create harmonious and fulfilling connection with others. The challenge for you is to learn from the lessons of your past lives and to find a healthy balance between your own needs and those of others.
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✨ South node in 8th house:
- in your past life, you might have been someone who delved deeply into the mysteries of life ,death and the human psyche. You may have been drawn to occult practices, esoteric knowledge or healing modalities that focused on the transformation of the self and others.
- you may have also been involved in situations where you had to navigate complex power dynamics , shared resources or inheritances.
- managing other's finances or dealing with issues related to debt, or taxes.at times , you may also grappled with feelings of possessiveness or obsession particularly in your relationships or dealings with other resources.
- in this lifetime the challenge for you is to learn from the lessons of your past lives and to find a healthy balance between intensity and detachment, depth and surface and empowerment and surrender.
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✨ South node in 9th house:
- in your past life, you might have been someone who was deeply engaged in the pursuit of knowledge and wisdom. You may have been a philosopher, teacher, scholar, or traveler who dedicated your life to seeking truth and understanding the deeper mysteries of existence.
- at times , you may have also struggled with issues related to dogma or rigid belief systems, perhaps feeling torn between your quest for truth and the pressures to conform to societal norms or expectations.
- In this lifetime you may find yourself drawn to experiences that echo these past life themes. The challenge for you to learn from the lessons of your past lives and to find a balance between seeking knowledge and embodying wisdom. This might involve cultivating a deeper sense of inner knowing and intuition as well as learning to integrate the lessons from your past experiences into your present journey.
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✨South node in 10th house:
- sn in 10th house suggests that in your past life you might have been someone who was deeply ambitious and driven to succeed in your chosen field. You may have pursued a career or vocation that allowed you to attain a position of authority,power or prominence in society.
- your identity and sense of self-worth may have been closely tied to your achievements and public reputation leading you to prioritise your career above all else.
- at times you may have also struggled with issues related to authority or responsibility perhaps feeling overwhelmed by the pressures of leadership or the expectations placed upon you by others.
- in this lifetime you may find yourself drawn to experiences that echo these past live things. you may have a strong drive to succeed in your career or to achieve recognition and status in your chosen field. Challenge for you is to learn from the lessons of your past life and to find a balance between ambition and inner fullfilment, this might involve redefining success on your own terms and cultivating a sense of purpose that goes beyond external achievements.
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✨South node in 11th house:
- sn in 11th house suggests that in your past life you might have been someone who was highly engaged in social or collective movements aimed at bringing about positive change in society. you may have been a member of various groups, organisations, or networks that were focused on promoting equality, justice or humanitarian causes.
- you may have been drawn to causes that aligned with your values and beliefs,whether they were related to political activism, social reform, environmental conservation or other forms of advocacy. - at times you might have also struggle with issues related to group dynamics or a loss of individual identity we the largest social movements. this could have led to experiences of disillusionment or betrayal as well as lessons around maintaining autonomy and integrity while working towards collective goals.
- in this lifetime, the challenge for you is to find a balance between your individual goals and the needs of the collective. this might involve cultivating a deeper sense of self awareness and authenticity as well as learning to navigate group dynamics with wisdom and discernment.
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✨South node in 12th house:
- sn in 12th house suggests that in your past life you might have been someone who spend a significant amount of time in seclusion or retreat perhaps as a monk, hermit or spiritual seeker.
- you may have been deeply attuned to the inner workings of the subconscious mind and spend much of your time exploding the depts of your own psyche through meditation, contemplation or others regional practices.
- you may have struggled with feelings of confusion, disillusionment or even Paranoia as you grappled with the shadow expects of your own psyche and the collective unconscious.these could have led to experiences of self undoing or essence of being lost in the vastness of The spiritual realms.
- in this lifetime the challenge for you is to find a balance between spiritual transcendence and grounded presence in the material world. this might involve integrating the insights and wisdom gained from your spiritual experiences into your everyday life as well as learning to navigate the depes of your own psyche with courage and compassion.
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That's it guys,hope you enjoyed 🌜💫
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crystalsenergy · 3 months
Text
Challenges
& learnings of your personal year
(Solar Return chart) ☀️ Asc ✨
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The goals are to transform challenges and discover growth in your personal journey!
Based on my personal experience and that of others, I've noticed that the Ascendant in the Solar Return chart largely defines what we deal with during the year.
Indeed, the topics already known to be associated with the Ascendant for the year receive much emphasis from the sign in the Solar Return chart.
I have a post on the meanings of Ascendants in signs in the Solar Return chart.
The intention is not to foresee what will "inevitably" be touched upon, no, but rather to use the astrological moment to understand what will truly be brought to the surface within us.
Think of yourself as a vast cauldron with many colors.
Like a gradient, colorful cauldron… 🌈
And with each astrological movement, it's as if things from within us begin to bubble up from this cauldron - things we already knew about, or maybe didn't…
Being a deep cauldron full of ingredients, a mixture (just like we are!), among other reasons, perhaps you may not be fully aware or consciously remember all aspects of your personality that need healing, balancing, expanding, evolving.
Because of this, I believe in the importance of seeing astrological movements as catalysts to stir up everything that is already within us.
Nothing that astrological movements bring continuously and intensely was not with us to some extent, whether on a personal level or in the morphogenetic field*
(*= difficulties that our family members bring, which we may not necessarily have activated, but which can be brought to the surface because, to some extent, even if slight, it existed in our personality too).
Therefore, the extent to which these issues will arise and affect each person will be extremely personal.
Below are some possible challenges for each Ascendant:
In terms of TEMPERAMENT, behavioral tendencies, first IMPRESSIONS that you will convey.
Ascendant in Aries: agitation, more nervous temperament, greater impatience, difficulty asking for help, impression of being angrier, more serious, more impenetrable, tendencies towards reactivity and impulsivity, excessive focus on the physical body and appearance.
The importance of reconsidering what it means to be authentic and a person with presence. Do you worry too much about achieving a specific image? An image of being strong, of being impenetrable, for example.
Ascendant in Taurus: difficulty in leaving situations (due to attachment, lack of initiative, comfort zone), more stubborn behavior than usual. Slower to move forward, more tendency to approach the world purely materialistically.
May have a tendency to accumulate more unnecessary things. The importance of understanding the real value of the things you have in your life now and what you intend to do with what you have (possessions and values, also, value in terms of ethics, even morality).
Ascendant in Gemini: challenges with being present in the here and now. Mental inconsistency, difficulty focusing, more agitated temperament, greater possibility of being distracted, difficulty having just one goal.
A busy mind, filled with interests but lacking concentration. The importance of working on effective communication.
Ascendant in Cancer: may take everything personally, memories from the past that you are still emotionally attached to but that do not serve you well may resurface, difficulty moving towards new things, such as new relationships, new emotions.
The importance of looking at your emotions as signals of what still needs to be healed. It will be a year with many emotional things coming to the surface! Observe.
Ascendant in Leo: difficulty with stubbornness, excessive focus on appearance, on what people will see and think of you. Slightly inflated and distorted self-awareness. Pride. Defense mechanisms. Reactivity.
Issues with self-esteem needing to be looked at with more care and healthy self-awareness. Approach to the world less focused on ego.
Ascendant in Virgo: more tendency to deal with the world purely materialistically and utilitarianly. Review your concept of time, of usefulness (yours and others'). More connection with the material world, exaggeration in focusing on productivity, on completing tasks, on feeling useful. Issues with self-criticism and perfectionism.
Be mindful not to fall into jobs and tasks that do not contribute to your growth, that reinforce patterns of endless demand, without ever "really getting there". The importance of paying attention to how much time you allocate to other areas of your life, outside of tasks and work. Physical health care is also important, look into this area as well.
Ascendant in Libra: a tendency to be more predisposed to environments and people, which, in a more negative sense, may end up representing a predisposition to others' desires.
Positively, this has good meanings, but as the focus of this post is on aspects to pay more attention to, I mention: difficulty saying no; greater need for approval; whether you perceive it or not, changing a lot depending on the environment, Libran issues in imbalance that already existed in your personality coming more to the surface in terms of your relationship with yourself and your way of presenting yourself to the world.
Ascendant in Scorpio: challenges with deeper emotions, including those that have been stored away in your emotional field for some time, which will now be brought to the surface with great force, since Scorpio brings forth everything that was hidden in a very strong way, challenges with anger, hurt, fantasies of revenge, which can be quite self-destructive.
In general, challenges with emotionally deep situations. It is also important to pay attention to how much negative and self-destructive patterns are brought to the surface to be seen. Do not hold onto them. Let go, release everything that does not serve you and/or others well!
Ascendant in Sagittarius: challenges with sincerity, excessive humor in meaningless situations, approach to avoiding emotional issues or emotionally more complex issues, toxic positivity, impulsivity, impatience, invasive extroversion, setting aside planning in situations where it would be important, acting with a certain irresponsibility.
It is important to see which points of your personality will be brought to the surface and act in the most appropriate way to be more healthy!
Ascendant in Capricorn: challenges with emotional approaches and being more sensitive to yourself and to life itself. A heavier, more serious, overly responsible approach that leaves no time and space for rest, leisure, and lightness. Dealing with difficulties and problems in a more controlling manner. Competitiveness. Individualism.
Limiting beliefs coming more to the surface. Greater focus on traditional ideas, visions, and practices that no longer serve your own good. It is important to review your paradigms, limiting beliefs, including in relation to your professional life, and how your more serious approach to yourself only reflects an inner child to be rediscovered, released! The lighter we are, the happier we live. And the less serious we are.
Ascendant in Aquarius: challenges with looking at yourself and others more closely, including emotionally, focusing on rationalizing everything, avoiding understanding subtlety and nuances (moving away from your intuition and the more sensitive aspects of your personality), excessive impersonality, excessive detachment, mental inflexibility.
It is important to review how much your internal life is based on logic and how healthy this is for the feminine-masculine balance in your personality. We are one. We don't need halves to fill us, right? Your feminine side may also need to be more integrated.
Ascendant in Pisces: more tendency to connect with energies from the external, from the collective unconscious and conscious, but especially the former. Greater tendency to get lost in the roles of this collective unconscious and have difficulties in centering on your own essence.
The importance of reviewing and reconnecting with your sensitivity, where there are things from the past and from your unconscious to be reinterpreted, transmuted, and perhaps even a moment to balance your mediumship, if you believe in that.
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dungeon-strugglers · 2 months
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✨New item!✨ Chain Devil’s Embrace  Armor (chain mail or chain shirt), very rare (requires attunement by a lawful creature)  This mass of chains slithers with sinister sentience, threatening to constrict anyone in reach. Each chain ends in a rusty hook or wicked blade, perfect for snaring and lacerating victims. Donning the chains as a suit of armor is an unpleasantly confining experience, but the living metal adjusts to provide ample protection and mobility to its wearer. You can choose to don it as a suit of chain mail or a chain shirt. You have a +1 bonus to AC while wearing this armor.
Infernal Oath. In order to attune to this armor, you must declare an oath that will bind you together. The oath can be any goal, set of rules, or moral tenet that you choose, however it must be clearly defined and actionable. If the oath is of sufficient clarity and importance, it appears in written form and must be signed in blood before it burns away. 
Grasping Chains. The armor has 7 charges, and it regains 1d4 + 3 expended charges daily at dawn. As an action while wearing it you can expend 1 charge to shoot out hook-tipped chains to ensnare a creature that you can see within 10 feet of you. Make an attack roll against the target with a +8 bonus. On a hit, the target takes 2d6 slashing damage and, if it is Huge or smaller, it is grappled (escape DC 16). Until this grapple ends, the target is restrained, takes 1d6 piercing damage at the start of each of its turns, and you can’t use Grasping Chains. 
Devilish Form. While wearing the armor, as a bonus action you can invoke its infernal essence for 1 minute. For the duration, you gain the following effects:
Your skin turns blood red, your eyes glow like coals, and chains writhe across your body. 
Grasping Chains’ range increases to 60 feet. It deals an extra 2d8 fire damage when it hits a target.
You are immune to fire damage.
As a reaction when a creature starts its turn within 30 feet of you and you can see one another, you can create the illusion that you look like one of the creature's departed loved ones or bitter enemies. It must succeed on a DC 16 Wisdom saving throw or be frightened until the end of its turn. Creatures that can see through illusions are immune to this effect.
Once you’ve used Devilish Form, it cannot be used again until the next dawn.
Sentience. The Chain Devil’s Embrace is a sentient, lawful evil suit of armor with an Intelligence of 11, a Wisdom of 12, and a Charisma of 14. It has hearing and darkvision vision out to a range of 120 feet. The armor communicates telepathically to the creature attuned to it and can speak, read, and understand Infernal and Common.
A sadistic chain devil named Tyrastr lives within the Chain Devil’s Embrace. The armor yearns to inflict pain and tyranny on others. It doesn’t care what the beliefs of its wearer are, so long as they are enforced meticulously and transgressors are punished without mercy.
Curse. While wearing this armor, Tyrastr demands strict adherence to your oath. If you act contradictory to your oath or do not seize an opportunity to mercilessly pursue it, the chains constrict around you and you take 1d8 piercing damage. The damage increases by 1d8 with each subsequent transgression. If this damage reduces you to 0 hit points, you immediately die and your soul is sent to hell, where it is imprisoned by a chain devil warden.
Until your attunement to this armor ends, you have disadvantage on ability checks, attack rolls, and saving throws while wearing any other armor. A soldier kneels before you, defeated. Blood and sweat mats the hair to his face. Up close, you see he is a year or more from adulthood. The boy’s trembling rattles his armor. “The cur prostrates itself before you, make it suffer!” Tyrastr’s vile, metallic voice pierces through your mind, dripping with sadistic glee. “This one was there, watching your home burn!” Despite your commitment to destroy the Malefic Order for razing your temple, your rage falters. Killing this boy would be wrong. You turn your back and listen to his fleeing footsteps.  “Spineless worm! How will you avenge your brothers if you cannot do what is necessary!?” As these words reverberate through your skull, your chain armor constricts. Links of jagged iron bite into your flesh, reopening half-healed cuts. Blood mingles with rust. The pain is exquisite. - 🖌🎨 Like our work? Consider supporting us on Patreon and gain access to the hi-resolution art for over 200 magic items, printable item cards and card packs, beautiful creature art and stat blocks, and setting pdfs with narrative hooks and unique lore!🧙‍♂️ Thank you so much for your support! 💖
📜 Credit. Art and design by us: the Dungeon Strugglers. Please credit us if you repost elsewhere.
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joostsblog · 4 months
Note
heyy i was wondering if you could write an angst to comfort joost fic where the reader is just like exhausted from everything and goes nonverbal bc theyre so tired and just frustrated and exhausted and joost gets worried when he hadnt heard from them in awhile so he goes to their house they break down in tears and he just comforts them?
Thanks for the request, I saw the opportunity to combine this request with another, I hope you don't mind! Here's the other request:
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I hope the description of living with chronic pain is somewhat accurate 🫶🫶
cold tea ~ Joost Klein one shot
My masterlist here ✨💌
Pairing: Joost Klein x reader (with chronic pain)
Description: During a particular bad episode of chronic pain, Joost is worried about you and checks up on you as he hadn't heard from you in a while.
Word Count: 0.7k
A/N: Again, I hope the both of you don't mind that I combined these requests💌 requests still open although I can't promise too many as I'll be on vacation the next two weeks ☀️ if you liked it, you can show your support by leaving a reblog 🫶
Warnings: not proofread
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You were curled up in bed, cuddling your teddy bear, eyes tightly shut as you tried everything in you to forget about the pain throughout your body. This week had been a series of really bad days for your chronic pain, barely getting any sleep at night and not being able to turn up to work. Your body was so tired you knew the only thing it wanted to do right now was just to fall asleep but the pain within it made it impossible. On top of that, you felt guilty for ignoring your boyfriend Joost. There were dozens of worried unanswered texts from him on your phone accompanied by ignored phone calls. But for the past few days, the pain and the mental load that came along with it was so bad that you couldn't muster up much strength to text him back.
You had only started dating a few weeks ago which meant that Joost didn't know much about your issues with chronic pain. You were worried that Joost would think that you were purposefully ignoring him because you wanted to break things off him with - which couldn't be further from the truth. You were head over heels for the sweet boy. You wanted to spend every waking moment with him, curled up in his arms, laughing and giggling with him.
He's probably angry with me for not answering, you thought to yourself.
The shrill sound of the doorbell shattered through your head. You sighed as you knew you had to get up. You had ordered some takeout since you didn't feel like cooking but you knew you had to feed your body. With a wince, you slowly sat up straight and made your way to the door. Your heart might as well have briefly stopped beating as you saw Joost stand outside your door.
"(Y/N)?" Joost asked timidly, a concerned look on his face. "Is everything alright?"
You wanted to speak but couldn't bring your mouth to form any words. Too exhausted but also too embarrassed to speak. Instead, your throat just felt dry and you could feel tears welling up in your eyes.
"Oh, (Y/N)," Joost whispered with a frown as he saw your tears. "Do you- can I-," you could tell that Joost didn't quite know what to do. So you just opened the door wider indicating for him to come in. "Can I hug you?" Joost asked softly as he stepped into your flat and you nodded. Joost very softly wrapped his arms around your body, very careful not to hurt you in any way. "Is it the pain?" he asked and you nodded against his chest. "Let me take care of you," Joost whispered against your hair as he pressed a soft kiss against your head. He led you back to your bedroom and softly tucked you in under the covers. "Be right back."
A few minutes later he appeared again with a cup of tea which he placed on the nightstand and got in bed next to you. Joost opened his arms and you nodded and he scooted closer to you and wrapped his arms around you carefully. For the first time in days, you could feel your body slowly relaxing. Joost started humming a soft melody and you could feel the exhaustion taking over your body slowly lulling you to sleep.
~
When you awoke, your head rested on Joost's lap, his hand softly caressing your head. He was reading an article on his phone and your heart fluttered as you caught a glimpse of the title: How to support a loved one with chronic pain.
Joost could feel you shift so he set down his phone and checked on you.
"Oh, you're awake," he smiled. "Your food came," he updated you. "And your tea went cold."
"Ice tea," you mumbled with a weak smile and Joost's eyes went wide with joy at finally hearing your voice again. Your body still felt sore but you were thankful that you were able to get at least a little bit of sleep.
"You're hungry?" Joost asked and you nodded. "I'll be right back," he said and got up before leaning down to you again to press a gentle kiss on your forehead. You smiled.
Your worries about Joost not being understanding or not having patience were completely forgotten. Instead, you felt cared for and loved by him. You smiled at him as he entered the room with the Thai curry you had ordered.
"Thank you," you said, your voice still slightly straining. "I love you."
Joost smiled fondly at you before he pressed another kiss to your head.
"I love you too, liefde."
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alastorsfuckassbob · 8 months
Text
We'll Meet Again
Alastorxfem!reader
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Part two to "you're never fully dressed without a smile"
Plot: You're down infamously bad for Alastor. You work for a shift for Valentino and somehow you end up at everyone's favorite hell based hotel! I swear to god you will make physical contact with deal Al by chapter 3.
A/N: OH GOD THIS IS A LONG ONE, and honestly for an Alastor fic really Valentino and Angel Dust focused- but like any good story there are more than two characters so we should develop them✨
As always, minors DNI-
Somehow we got spicer and a bit more angsty so read the warnings and think critically if its something you really want to read
⚠️WARNINGS⚠️
-Domestic Violence, Abusive Relationships
-Swearing
-Valentino (has to be its own warning)
-Smoking and Alcohol use
-Sexual Innuendo
"Y/n"
"Y/n, please let me hear you. Your voice lights a fire within me that I cannot ignore"
The static popped, heartfelt and genuine, the phrase echoing throughout the dimly lit room and deep into the pits of your soul. It reminded you of those late nights spent at the studio with him. Of the memories you had created with him, you spent the least time mulling over your time at the station. It was just too much to handle, you would sit for hours talking about whatever fancies fit the time, swaying to the complex chords and swing of the music. No matter what mood you walked in with, it vanished the moment your frame entered his arms. Your hand grazed the edge of your cheek in the mirror imagining how his hand traced the outline of your face as it so often used to do. The show had hundreds of listeners, you were speaking to the world so it would appear, but anything and everything you said or played was made strictly for each-other.
Here you were, lost in time once again. You had missed those little moments, far more than you anticipated. You had always been one to get lost following the tracks of memory. but this..this was different, your body felt as if it was buzzing. His honey lined transatlantic accent reverberated throughout your skull. Sickeningly sweet, holding desperation but still not depravity. It lacked the typical Sadism and savagery, a commonality in your hellish experience. The wicked pair usually found itself wrapped around your arm and caught against your throat. You had become accustomed to those feelings of desperation, but somehow his was different. He hadn't said much of anything and it felt like he had bottled every sweet nothing and loving whisper he had uttered in your direction throughout your life, and poured them into his tonality all at once. The static grew heavier.
"Y/-n y-y-N"
his voice became distorted and crackled. He kept speaking but the words were mangled and malformed. You couldn't quite make out what he was attempting to get across. You couldn't lose him not another time, even if you hadn't really "had him" again.
It was enough to send you into a fit of desperation.The incoherencies faded out, only deafening static remained .
"Alastor"
your wavering voice filled with alarm. You rushed to the radio nearly falling of the counter as you did so. You feverishly tuned the knob hoping for just another moment with him, even if it was just audibly. The electricity crackles, and dark grey smoke erupts from the small box and into your face. You cough rapidly upon contact. The fire sparks, promptly melting the exterior of the radio.
"shit fuck shit fuck shit"
You rasp between coughs. Something ablaze was not entirely out of the ordinary, yet you remained panicked. you thoughtlessly unplug the radio, scalding your hands in the process. Not knowing what else to do, you throw the newly aflame radio into the tub. It wheezes out another plume of smoke before sinking down into the water.
"well that isn't..ideal"
You decide its a tomorrow issue and head off to sleep. Still slightly shaken up, you throw on a silky nightgown and plop into your bed. You wouldn't find peace in your sleep, you never did. You closed your eyes unready to face your demons but too exhausted to care.
The next day comes to pass sooner than you'd care to admit. You don't feel well rested, but you can't find it in yourself to go back to sleep. Your thoughts are still so dreadfully plagued with Alastor. The way his lips felt on your own, the soft gentle curl of his hair. Everything aspect of him was so fundamentally perfect. Even his so called flaws. He may be an attention seeking idiot, but he was your attention seeking idiot. That was all that mattered. You'd be happy to do most anything to supply him his attention fix. You looked at the clock across from your bed, it was already noon. You had told Angel you'd be at the club around one. Unhappily, you rolled out of bed grabbing another outfit from your closet to change into. You applied some simple mascara, and tied up your hair. You could finish getting read with Angel Dust like you usually did.
You arrive at the club meet Angel, you liked to arrive a few hours before your call time just to talk with each other. You had vastly different schedules but you made it work. You walk through the lobby watching other scandalously dressed demons go about their daily life. You could have sworn you saw a flick of shadow watching you from behind the other inhabitants. You shook it off, you didn't sleep well, its possible you're just seeing things.
You arrive at your dressing room, and knock at the door. Its a calm and quiet environment. The eye before the storm working tonight will plunge you both into.
"the fuck do you want, can't a guy do his eyeliner in peace"
you roll your eyes before opening the door, he glances back at you.
"oh hey toots, didn't expect you so soon- you're not late"
"Fuck off angel"
you sit down in your chair and begin brushing out your hair. Val was very particular about the image you portrayed, even if your hair was already curly he'd want it to curl differently, If it was straight, he'd want it consistent coiffed to his liking.
If you didn't have hair he'd probably get you a wig of some kind. You glance down at the black porcelain mask on the counter. It was delicately painted with small golden roses. It was the only thing between you and an army of horny fans. Angel finishes his eyeliner with a small flick of a wing.
He stands up and takes the brush from you. He combs through the ends making sure there aren't any tangles left before grabbing the curling iron. To be quite honest, you both absolutely sucked at doing your own hair, so you did each others. It was nice, and he always made you look good. You had known angel for quite some time, you felt like you knew who he was but nothing about him.
He was always rather private about the details of his life before hell. You had gathered he was Italian by his sound, and that he had been involved with the mob from small anecdotes he sometimes shared.
It didn't really matter who he used to be, he was your friend and you loved him.
"I mean this in the nicest way possible y/n, but you look like shit" He grabbed a strand of your hair wrapping it around the wand.
"oh gee thanks" you deadpan
"long night?" he asks releasing your hair from the curling wand scrunching it slightly.
"something like that, how about you, you look shockingly well rested, and i doubt its just the concealer"
"I'm staying at a new place" he continues working his way around your head.
"Val let you leave?" a hint of shock permeated your voice
"he can't dictate where i stay when i'm off the clock babe" He grabs a smaller curling want and begins with some small face framing pieces.
"does he know?" you ask hesitantly. You didn't want to upset him.
"I don't think he's caught on yet, probably figures I'm just out getting drunk and high off my ass"
"to be fair you often are"
"you're no angel either y/n" He rolls his eyes, he picks up the larger wand again and re-curls a few more of the back pieces.
"where did you move off to?"
You were lucky to have your own apartment. Most souls under contract with Valentino stayed in the complex....Your situation wasn't much better but it was enough. To be completely honest, you only lived about a ten minute walk from here. It wasn't much of a distance, but it was far enough Valentino would rather call upon some other, closer, unlucky soul outside of work hours to do his bidding. It was good enough. It was shocking to hear Angel had managed to find someplace with his cocaine habit and how little Val payed us.
"Its that rickety hotel on the edge of the Pride ring, I know it doesn't sound like much but its free" You almost visibly buffered from shock. How did he manage that? Then it hits you, he's probably sleeping there for free because he's sleeping with someone.
"who'd you have to fuck to get a room there"
"y/n" he groaned, slightly annoyed by your antics.
"No angel I'm serious, its hell people don't just give things out for free" you mused at his reaction.
"I didn't have to fuck anyone, its run by the princess, shes trying to rehabilitate souls"
"is that even possible" your mind began to swim with possibility.
"i dunno, i don't really care. It gives me a space to just exist..as myself..away from all of this"
your hand finds his way into one of his.
"i understand what you mean" your voice comes out no more than a whisper.
He continues curling your hair silently for a bit. Angel had his issues but he was a good person. He just found himself in a bad situation. Unexpectedly, he broke the silence. You two had a lot in common, including your tendencies of avoidance.
"you should live there too y/n, its free, and theres a bar, the bartender isn't too bad looking either."
You smile at the thought, it would be nice to get away from it all. Thats all it could be though, a thought. You were already on such thin ice with Val.
"Angie dear it sounds nice, but we both know I'm already Val's least favorite sinner. I shouldn't aggravate him more" you say with a defeated huff. Angel wraps another tendril of your h/c hair around the wand
"You can't let his life be your only life. I'm not stupid doll, I know you've been spending a lot more time around here." He's visibly and audibly frustrated.
He stays quiet for a minute picking up another strand of your hair.
"you're more than what you can do for Valentino okay? you were a person before you're still a person after, don't let him take everything from you." his voice becomes quiet, almost unrecognizable. Its velvety in a way, he speaks almost as if he's telling you just as much as he's telling himself Its the realest you've ever seen him be.
He quickly shakes it off
"his ugly mug cant be the only thing you see, I swear to god every time I look at him I throw up a little" He releases your hair from the curling iron stepping back to admire his work.
"now don't you look riveting" A jokingly seductive tone takes hold of his voice.
Your mind sparks with an idea, why complain about Val when you can just straight up mock him?
You stand up, rushing to the clothing rack, sift through the items before finding a long cherry red robe. Naturally its angel's. Its far too long for you, the second set of arms gets a little confusing, but eventually you slide it on. You sit back seductively on the counter mocking good ol Valentino.
"angel dust! you slut! you're fucking 20 guys before lunch! " You cross your arms dramatically before standing up on the counter. You strut across, being careful not to step on any of his things, but still maintaining the destructive energy Val usually carries.
A wild smile courses through your features, you grab the magazine Angel had been reading before you came in and throw it back into his face.
"Heres the 40 page shockingly kinky script about some kidnapping scene in France you have an hour to memorize, ignore the syntax errors and improvise!" He looks up at you baffled. I mean, you were right-He starts laughing uncontrollably,
"y/n what the fuck" he sputters out
You laugh along with him. He reaches up placing his arms around your waist, putting you onto the ground with very minimal effort. For a second you feel a bit like a house cat hopeless dragged off the counter. Angel was shockingly strong, for such a lanky guy he certainly wasn't flimsy or weak
A smug look overtakes his features
"let me show you how its really done"
He takes the robe off of your body and dawns it himself. He whips out a pair of bedazzled pink sunnies. Tilting them down, he gives you a cheeky wink. Once the knot of the belt is tied he is fully into character
"My siren! Y/n."
"oh god" you roll your eyes as angel begins his display. He walks across the room dragging you with him before twirling you into his arms. You cant help but be a little dizzy at the sudden motion.
"y/n, baby! You have made much so much money with that truly bodacious rack" He swings his arm around your waist. You both stifle a laugh as he drags his second set of hands across the shape of your body in the air in front of you.
"Angel I don't think Valentino would ever utter the phrase "bodacious rack", at least not in this existence" You form your fingers into little air quotes playfully rolling your eyes at him
"shh toots i am working on a real character here"
"Angel" you sigh
"shh" he hushes you again placing his finger against your lips.
Your collective antics go on for a little over two hours, stopping only briefly for you to style his fleecy hair. He looks at the clock before letting out an aggravated sigh. He pulls his body up from his chair.
"I gotta go doll, Val has me shootin yet another new movie before we shoot the scheduled "film", perks of being Hell's best actor" He grumbles grabbing his robe off of the floor leaving you alone in your shared dressing room.
You continued getting ready, expertly styling your newly curled hair and applying a thick coat of deep red lipstick. It wasn't too long after the door swung open. The suffocating smell of lust filling your lungs.
"My dear sweet y/n! how about we lose the mask for tonight?" Valentino burst into the room as if he owned the place. To be fair, he did. You still found it a bit off putting he didn't knock. Despite your profession, you valued privacy.
"Val-" You began, he cut you off.
"I don't believe I was asking." a smirk decorated his sly features.
"Respectfully, sir. It's not within my contract to appear as I truly am."
This shit again. Val was always on your ass about this. He always wanted more. Usually after a few minutes of arguing, he'd give up. There was nothing else he could do, so you don't think much of it. You pull out a cigarette, flicking the lighter, the small white stick begins to blaze.
You blow a cloud of hot red smoke in his direction. He rolls his eyes gritting his teeth in frustration. He takes a deep breath, sordid displays of force didn't work the best on you. You'd be frightened, but your stance would rarely change. Not unless he got physically violent, and quite honestly he was not in the mood today. You were not the most important thing to deal with. Its not that he didn't want to hurt you, he didn't want to waste his time. He tries a lighter, more manipulative approach.
"Think of how much success your beautiful little face would bring us. Sinners and Hell born alike already get off to your body, its just revealing a little bit more"
"No, I won't do it" your voice is small but resolute. He didn't have the patience for this. As soon as the word "no" left your lips Val had begun to lose it. "Wasting time" became a lot less important. Members of the Ars Goetia family would be present in tonight's audience. You had to look your best, so he could look his best.
"You are going to out there without that fucking mask and give all of hell a good show. You won't like what happens if you don't listen." He growled through gritted teeth
"Its breaking the contract. Val" You take another lazy puff from your cigarette. He ripped the cigarette from your hand, throwing it on the ground. He was done with your shit.
"I own you. Did you forget that, I own your body and your voice. you speak only when i want you to. You fuck who I choose. The only thing you technically have a right to is your name, isn't that right my little siren?"
His voice is sleazy to say the least, the tone makes you shudder. You couldn't help but think,
...was he right? you had asked to be anonymous, you never thought to specify how. He continued before you had a real chance to observe your thoughts. He wraps his arm around your shoulder, snakelike and seductive. He was getting tired of this, tired of you.
"the mask is getting old, hell will get tired of you if you don't give them more. you won't like what happens if they deem you all washed up.."
You attempt to move away, His grasp on your arm grows tighter. You flinch slightly from the pain, but not enough for him to notice. He wants to elicit a reaction in you, perhaps if you stay calm he'll give up.
"I have some very specific clientele coming to tonights show I need you to wow them"
You could hardly believe the audacity. Sure, Valentino was always kind of a prick but this complete and total discount of your previously agreed terms was relatively new. He had suggested removing the mask before and brought it up countless times, but this level of disregard was new. Screw being calm you weren't about to be this fundamentally disrespected.
"No I won't do tha- " his hand waves cutting you off. your voice caught in your throat the sigil on your hand marking his ownership glowing a dull faded pink.
"I can do whatever I please. I've let you forget that, I've been going too easy on you. Rereading our little contract brought me the enlightenment I needed. Those who bite don't get to speak" he pauses moving away from you taking in your figure.
"it looks like you'll just be dancing tonight, and what a wonderful performance that is going to be."
The click of his shoes taps against the stark white tile as he walks towards the clothing rack in the edge of the room. He hums, picking out a dark red burlesque outfit. He exchanges it for the mask from the table and breaks it in his hand.
"I think a more revealing number will compensate more than enough for your silence..don't you?"
Your last defense had been shattered. The last ounce of your personage robbed for the sake of pleasing some sleazy unsavory high end customer. You tried to speak but the words stayed nestled inside of you. You wanted to scream or talk honestly you'd take a whisper at this point, still, nothing. The anger in your heart welled its way up into your throat and without an outlet, your frustration took root in your tears."Great" you thought, "just what i needed to look respectable, yet another crying fit."
He grabs you by your shoulders, it had never registered how small you were in comparison. You knew he was tall, but in ten years, you'd never noticed how much taller he was. Usually the moth hunched over in some way to communicate better as his eyesight is less than superior...Yet here he stood a good three or four feet taller than you, anger almost visibly steaming off of his purple fur. two of his hands grasped firmly on your newly bruised shoulder, the other on your neck, and the last raised and ready to strike you. Closing your eyes you accept your fate. the contact comes and as soon as it does you are sprawled on the floor. Unable to move, unable to run. You had never been strong enough to fight. After all you were still the same person you were in 1936 and long after that. Your nose gushes blood, splattering droplets onto the tile as he abruptly jerks you up from the floor.
"maldita cabrona! quién se cree que es?"
he tuts clicking his tongue against the roof of his mouth. It sounds oddly like the loading of a gun. Every aspect of his body was drenched this newly violent attitude. His moth like horns lined with anticipation, twitching with every rigid breath.
Valentino had gotten rough with you before but not like this. This time, it felt more real. He leans in closer, his face directly in front of your own. From another angle perhaps the pose looked sweet,loving even. The thought made you sick.His arm rested against your shoulder, just forceful enough to cause you pain but not so harsh to send you tumbling to the ground again. The sharp talons tipping his long fingers traced the edge of your face, deep red blood madly racing after it. He would have killed you then in there if you weren't such a "valuable asset".
"Next time you'll learn to listen, I've killed fuckers for less than this shit you're giving me. If I don't have the patience with angeldust I certainly won't have it with you, even if you're named hell's favourite pequeña pecadora." He pauses glaring deep into your eyes
"I made you y/n, i can take that away and kill you myself whenever i please. try not to forget that again"
His inflection is wickedly sweet, but not sugary enough to hide his true malice.
He grunts in frustration, throwing you against the dressing room table, the back of your head shatters the mirror. An all too familiar feeling. He laughs viewing the position he's put you in, it is a dry, heartless, and dirty sound. The silence after is chilling. You close your eyes bracing for another impact that just doesn't come. He must have gotten bored with you, he usually did after a while. The door finally slams, the lights of the dressing room flicker and then click off. You slide down onto the floor, all you are left with is the small pool of blood and regret.
The performance that night felt like an eternity. Your skin practically peeling off as lustful eyes burned holes through your skin. You had drank a few more than too many cocktails. It wasn't nice to refuse a gift, and it kept you a little less than fully conscious. stumbling through the hallway you arrived once again at your dressing room. you sat down hopelessly viewing the dark purple bruises formed from your previous alteration through the shattered remnants of your mirror. So much for not "damaging the merchandise" as Val would so often say.A soft knock rattles you from your thoughts. the door creaks open and Angel Dust slides in. You silently look at each other's exhausted frame and scratched faces. Angel was the closest thing you had ever had to a friend, and just about the only person who could ever understand what you're going through. After all, your experience was modeled after his.
"Whats wrong y/n? cat got your tongue?"
Despite his exhaustion he kept up his usual performance. You didn't respond, you couldn't. The tears so expertly rimmed in your eyes threaten to fall. His expression falters and he walks up to you hugging you tightly. You didn't need to say or do anything to explain. He knew exactly what you were going through. For just a moment you relax into his arms.
A minute or so passes and you break the contact. You figure a little context wouldn't hurt. You motion to the glowing sigil on your wrist and then to your throat, hoping he understood the signal.
"You can't speak can ya doll?" He asked softly his hand ruffling your hair. You shook your head no.
"God i hate that fucking prick, he can't just play fair. Maybe if he did that sorry fuck wouldn't be making shitty porn and running washed out clubs for a living". He angrily paces around the room. As he speaks you grab an eyeliner pen and the back of some flier someone left taped to your door. It seemed like the easiest way to communicate. You messily scrawl the words
"Can I stay with you I promise its just for one night"
He takes the page from you a smile taking root.
"damn toots what happened to not mixing personal and professional life?" he joked. You sat there motionless, tears threatening to spill. He takes the hint and grabs a coat off of the rack wrapping it around your shoulders.
"I thought you'd never ask-I've been dying to hang out outside this shit hole. Let's head out, Its gonna rain soon and these boots are too hot to be messing with that acid bullshit"
He posed albeit dramatically earning a smile from you. He tilts his head towards the door and the two of you leave the messy dressing room behind. It was one of the few things you didn't have to worry about. After all, Valentino values appearances, any mess you had made would be gone in the morning. In one way or another, you could fuck up any way and make any mess, and Val would have it cleaned up. The only messes he wouldn't fix were the ones he made himself. The cuts on your body always lasted longer than your reflection in a broken mirror. Unlike you the mirror could be fixed.
Not long after you arrive at this so called "Hazbin Hotel"..you didn't have much to say other than it...seemed fitting. You walk up a few flights of carpeted stairs. His hand calmly connected to yours. He continues down the long winding hallway before reaching a large wooden door at the end. He unlocks the room, and it is exactly what you'd imagine it to be. An embodiment of everything "angel dust".
A few hours and a pack of cigarettes later, the rain starts. The acid falls from the sky burning sinners and generally..most everything in its path. The sizzle on the sidewalk almost sounds like the crackle of a record player. Leaning further back into his bed, you pull out yet another cigarette. Your hand waves, gesturing towards the box and Angel takes the last of the pack. He lights the end of yours first and then clicks the lighter again in an attempt to get his own fix. However the lighter had other plans, it pops and ticks before sputtering out completely. He strikes it a few more times to no avail
"Shit what does a guy gotta do to get a decent lighter in this shit hole"
His arms raised above his head in some odd exaggerated performance of anger. Despite the lack of necessity, you found the fake drama to be amusing. It reminded you of Alastor in some strange way. It was different than the usual drama you found yourself viewing. Hell is full of overdramatic assholes, at least Angel isn't.. cruel. You take the first hit of your newly lit cigarette. The pink smoke fizzling into your lungs, giving you a sense of calm you cant really find anywhere else.
"What you aren't gonna share?" he deadpans before he presses the edge of his previously unlit cigarette to yours.
You look at him as if to say "Angel you dumb bitch that never actually works you're just going to put mine out and then we'll both be miserable"
He rolls his eyes with his signature smug look. He presses his cigarette a bit closer to your own. Shockingly it lit up in a hot pink flame.
"Working with Val sucks but at least you learn a few useful things",
He deeply inhaled from his own newly lit cigarette, puffing the strawberry coloured smoke into your very clearly unamused face. Still. you couldn't help but laugh.. or you tried to anyway, not that it would have worked. You took another long delightful drag and sent the smoke his way. A fit of giggles ensued, at least on his part. You were just happy it worked and he didn't end up pissed off.
The action made you wonder, what if you weren't just meant to hurt others. perhaps you could light them up instead of burning them down. You sat there for about another hour, listening to Angel's sleep deprived rambles. It wasn't too much long after that your own exhaustion finally carried you safely into a well deserved slumber. It was peaceful, the most restful night you'd had since your fall into this desolate shit pit known as hell..For once you didn't "dream." You weren't haunted with his face. His shadow didn't suffocate you. The ghost of your past stayed simply that, a ghost.
The night passes swiftly. Almost as quickly as the stars had appeared they retreated deep into the hazy maroon sky and bright carmine clouds. The rain had stopped, somehow the damages caused weren't entirely discernible from the average look of things. It was then you heard radio static again.
Familiar and soothing, his gravelled voice broadcast to the denizens of hell.
"Good morning to all of you lovely listeners ! Today's broadcast is brought to you by hell's favourite sinner, what isn't to love about that little starlet. Tune on in dearest, I've been hearing so much about you."
the music started softly carried by the wind and into your ears. You felt intoxicated.
We'll meet again
Dont know where, dont know when
but I know we'll meet again some sunny day
Keep smiling through, just like you always do
til the blue skies drive the dark clouds far away
It was irrevocably, unmistakably unquestionably him.
Alastor, your Alastor.. was in hell. Not to mention an overlord (shocker there). Despite that fact, you were evidently on his mind. He was speaking to you and only you. There was nothing you could do to respond.
So you listened, to his voice, the instrumentation, the melody, everything. Maybe it would somehow bring you closer to him...
Unbeknownst to the both of you, you were no more than a few rooms apart, enjoying your stay at the Hazbin Hotel.
a/n: I SWEAR I PROMISE YOU, ANGEL, AND ALASTOR ARE GONNA WRECK THAT LITTLE FUCKERS SHIT, dw
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targaryen-dynasty · 8 months
Text
YOU‘RE THE ONLY THING I PRAY FOR. (2/3)
Daemon Targaryen x niece!Reader
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WARNINGS: none
WORDS: 2.4 K
NOTES: y’all are probably fed up with how much I’m posting today but ✨idc✨ lmao. Consider this as a little interlude before it gets steamy in part 3 🤭 tysm @arcielee for betaing this short thing.
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Never before have you slept as badly as you did last night. The tea brought by Maester Mellos may have been drunk by you, but it did little to soothe the tormenting guilt you feel. You had retired to bed again afterwards, only to not be able to find any sleep at all. 
Rolling from one side to the other, you had pondered over what had happened in the sept, and who could have seen the two of you to report it to your father. There couldn’t have been any witnesses for most septas leave whenever you arrive. Besides, you’ve looked around plenty of times. It’s impossible that anyone has seen you. 
But deep down you know it was bound to happen eventually. A princess of the realm could not flaunt around the Grand Sept in the company of her uncle, let alone being claimed and defiled by him so openly without anyone witnessing. 
So, it’s not surprising that at first light you’re summoned to the Throne Room. 
The heavy doors fall shut behind you with a thud, and your footsteps are the only thing heard as you approach the looming throne. Your father sits atop it, Jaehaerys crown weighing heavy on his silver curls, and watches you with a grimm expression.  
“Y-Your Grace,” you stutter, bobbing a small curtsy with your hands tightly clasped in front of you. It’s your father’s harsh voice that has you flinching even before you’re able to meet his eyes. 
“Raise your head, child.” It’s a demand, and it’s definitely not your father sitting in front of you right now. 
Nodding, you gulped thickly as your father has never before spoken to you in such a manner, with such fury laced within his voice. The quick-tempered part of his emotions has always been reserved to the people of his council, and sometimes even your little sister stands in the crossfire. But not you, never you. 
“It has been brought to my attention that you were seen entering the Grand Sept with Daemon. Is that correct?”
Your eyes dart around before they settle on the floor, and you nod once again. Finding your voice seems to be more difficult than expected, failing as you are not even able to meet your fathers gaze. 
And the silence appears to stoke your father’s fury, knowing this is too dire a matter to be lenient with you. 
“I said is that correct?” he growls, abruptly rising to his feet. 
The movement causes you to flinch, and you raise your head. “I–yes, he-he asked if he could join me for my morning prayer,” you stammer, frozen in fear. 
Your father huffs, “Of course, he has.” 
He pinches the bridge of his nose, before he slowly but surely walks down the steps leading from the imposing Iron Throne towards where you stand. “And is that all that has transpired between the two of you, daughter?” The name falls from his lips dripping with so much venom, a shiver runs down your spine. 
His stern expression only grows darker and darker, a foreboding edge cuts into them. “Or are there other matters that you two have been up to there?” he asks, looking down at you. “I wish to hear the truth from your mouth, and your mouth only.”
You feel your throat tighten, and your body grows cold just from the intensity that feeds the tension between the two of you. “I-I… I–,” you stammer. You’re caught. 
Taking in a deep breath, you clench your hands to fists to stop them from trembling as you think about saying the next words out loud. Your nails dig into your palms, surely leaving crescent shaped marks, but this doesn't make the situation more bearable for you. “We-We kissed,” the words are practically a whisper, “and he did suggest we wed.” Looking away, you can’t bring yourself to meet his eyes, knowing there’s a rage brooding inside of him. 
“What a foolish suggestion,” your father spits out. “Must I remind you that you were to wed Jason Lannister?”
Feeling your breath grow shaky as you try to keep the tears from welling in your eyes, your gaze locks with your father’s. You’re a dutiful girl, and you would have never disobeyed your father. But you allowed your uncle to take things too far, and now you have to bear the consequences. 
“No, Your Grace,” your voice is meek, trembling as you shake your head, “I-I am aware I must wed Lord Lannister, a match made by you, and I do not wish to bring shame to the crown.”
But your father hesitates, as if the words he’s about to speak would weigh a thousand tons on yours and his shoulders. “Your lies have proven to me that you do not care for your duty to the crown,” he growls. “And I will not allow your foolish actions to further tarnish our House. You wish to go to the Sept freely and frequently? Then you shall make your way to Oldtown in the morrow to become a Silent Sister, and forsake your past life. You will be removed from the line of succession entirely as a punishment for flouting my authority.”
Frozen in stunned silence, the words do not seem real. The severity of your father’s judgement sinks into the pit of your stomach, and you take a step back as if it would give you back your ability to breathe. 
With blurry eyes, you look back at him, trying to find some sort of consolation in his, but you only see sternness and disapproval. “A-Are you serious?” you ask, your voice barely above a whisper. Tears stain your cheeks, and you allow them to. “Surely you must not mean it, father.”
“I am your King!” Viserys snaps, and there’s no fatherly compassion neither in his voice nor the fierce scowl on his face. 
For all his reign your father has been nothing if not a weak king, relying on others to ensure the strength of the mighty House Targaryen. And now he decides to make an example out of your misstep, not able to afford another moment of weakness? It must be a cruel joke in favor of the Seven. 
“My mind is made up,” your father finally growls, hiding the pit of guilt in his stomach behind the volume of his voice. “This is the price of your actions whether you like it or not. You have brought this on yourself, and I don’t wish to hear any more objections from you. Begone!”
Knowing there was nothing you could do to change his mind, you just nod your head and walk out of the Throne Room, eyes downcast as the tears won’t stop rolling down your cheeks. 
You barely register who crosses your path on the way to your chambers for your mind is awash with sadness, rage and fear, and once the heavy door falls shut behind you, it all rises to the surface, claiming you like a storm. 
You kick against a nearby stool before you sink to your knees and sob into your hands. Letting out an agonizing scream, you are overtaken by rage. But there’s no will of yours to pack your belongings, not that you’d need them anyways, for a scroll you certainly have not left there lays on your bed, next to a rugged cloak. 
You grab the piece of paper, unrolling it and scanning over its contents, taking a few seconds to understand that it’s a map containing the secret passageways your ancestor had commissioned during the construction of Maegor’s Holdfast. ‘Meet me here at the Hour of the Ghosts’ is written below it, the here most certainly hinting at the point that’s hidden beneath a marked cross. 
It seems like an incredibly long time to the Hour of the Ghosts, but what other choice than waiting do you have? There’s no way for you to go, not that you even want to go outside to meet anyone. All you want to do is spend the rest of your time in the Red Keep by yourself, sulking about the mess you have brought yourself into. 
But as the hour finally strikes, you’re on your feet, silver hair hidden by the hood of the cloak. 
The map suggests that there’s a hidden doorway to the right of your bed, and it takes little effort for you to push it open, revealing a staircase that leads you into a tunnel. Though it’s almost casted in complete darkness, you pull the door to your chambers shut behind you and scurry down the stairs, following the map. 
The rage is still there on your way to the staircase that leads you out of the keep and into the city, and even in the dim lights of the torches around you, you can make out your uncle’s surprised face as you suddenly charge at him. 
If you weren’t so angry, you would have laughed. 
“Why have you told him?” you hiss, but are quickly silenced by his large hand covering your mouth. He holds you with your back against his chest, seizing your small frame and stopping you from shoving at his chest. 
“I told him nothing,” he sharply hushes into your ear, though you don’t grasp the importance of it. Your life is already ruined, and his whispering won’t make it alright again. “Viserys was informed, but not by me. I assume it was one of the leeches’ puppets. Your father summoned me last night to inform me that my services to the crown were no longer required. He has exiled me.”
You exhale into his palm, turning slightly to look at him with wide eyes. There is a menacing grin on his lips, only broken when he continues. “I am quite certain he has done the same to you, so, you can either stay here and face your punishment, or you can come with me.”
His words settle slowly, and you’re torn between following him, or facing your fate as Silent Sister. You already disgraced your House, what’s one more misstep if it can bring you freedom? 
You feel utterly helpless and powerless, for you don’t know if Daemon can be trusted. He hasn’t earned the moniker the Rogue Prince for nothing, and for all you know, he could have informed your father. But would he willingly bring himself into a treacherous position just to wed you? You’re not certain. 
Your sigh fanning into the palm of his hand is what prompts him to release your face and allow you to speak again, and the cold air that suddenly fills your lungs with his hand gone has you clearing your throat. Winding in his grasp, you turn around to face him, and as it eventually loosens, you take a step back. There still is anger raging inside of you, but you must play your cards wisely. 
The hood of your cloak is pulled back by you, exposing your full face to him. “What other options do I truly have?” you whisper, looking around briefly. “I shall come with you.”
It’s another sigh that rips itself from your chest, knowing the inevitability of your question, and your eyes flicker up to meet his. “When do we leave?”
There is a short moment of silence between you, and, as if you’ve anticipated anything else, Daemon finally replies.
“Now,” he rasps. “We must go, before anyone comes to find and stop us.”
Not giving you a chance to react, his fingers intertwine with yours, clearly sensing your apprehension as he pulls you after him. 
“But my clothes. I–”
“Everything is set,” he husks. “I have secured your mount and my own, waiting for us in the Dragonpit. We must do this quickly, no time for lingering. We will be gone by the time anyone realizes.”
Just how quickly he has made all plans and arrangements possible truly amazes you, and you can’t help but feel drawn to his dedication to the matter and the ambition which he displays. You know you’re taking an immense risk in moving with him like that, but you trust him. You have to trust him. 
Following him down the stairs, you look back at the Red Keep for a moment, and its sight makes you feel nervous and anxious. You’re about to leave so much of your life behind. At what cost? 
It’s the neighing of a horse that catches your attention, and once again, Daemon takes your hand to drag you towards it. A tall, black stallion waits for you, and you squeal the moment your uncle lifts you up as if you weigh no more than a feather, putting you into the saddle. 
He settles behind you as the horse canters along the cobblestone, heading towards the Dragonpit at a speed you have rarely ridden before. But by the Seven, never before have you felt so thrilled. 
Stopping sharply in front of the outer doors opening to the hillside, he helps you down in the same manner he’s gotten you onto the horse. The gates to the dragonpit are opened, and both your dragons stand up the moment they recognize their riders. 
Upon the sight of both beasts, your heart swells and freezes at the same time. You would have missed your dragon dearly in Oldtown, and the thought that you would almost never have ridden it again makes your blood run cold for a moment.
Silverwing is slightly larger than Caraxes, and makes a much more striking figure than your uncle’s mount, but you dare not tell him that. 
With a nod towards the dragon keepers guarding your dragons, you approach your beast, hand gliding along her silvery scales. A look at Daemon from over your shoulder tells you that he’s already strapped to the saddle of Caraxes. 
“Where are we flying to?” you shout over at him, mounting Silverwing. There is a small bag strapped to her saddle, a thick coat for you to wear draped over it, and you wonder when he’s had the time to prepare all that. 
Caraxes is on his way out of the cave, roaring and grumbling, and your she-dragon briefly spreads her wings, before she follows him and crawls out into the open, causing you to almost not hear his reply. 
“Pentos!”
Their large wings flap loudly as Caraxes firstly soars into the air with a bellowing roar, closely followed by Silverwing, breaking into the open sky. 
The Red Keep grows smaller and smaller in the distance, until you can not make it out anymore. You’re not sure what difficulties might await you in Essos, though you have never been more ready to venture to far away lands. 
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lila-lou · 2 months
Text
✨Obsessed - Pt. 1✨
Summary: After weeks of searching, you finally found Dean. However, he was no longer the man you had been in love with- but more importantly, no longer the man who never returned your love. Because now, in his twisted state, he was somehow obsessed with you.
Pairing: Demon!Dean x Reader
Warnings: 18+ only! Smut, Language, Angst, Hurt, Violence, Humiliation, naive reader
Word Count: 6960
A/N: English isn’t my first language, so please be lenient. 💙✨
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You were trembling, afraid of what awaited you behind that stupid motel door. You had been looking for him for over four weeks now and finally found him. Sam was on another trace, but you would call him as soon as you were sure it really was Dean. With a deep breath, you pushed the door open, hearing the shower running in the bathroom.
The room was dimly lit, the heavy curtains drawn against the outside world. The faint smell of old cigarettes and cheap whiskey lingered in the air, mixing with the steam escaping from the bathroom. Your heart pounded in your chest, each beat echoing the countless fears and hopes you’d carried during your search.
You took a cautious step inside, the creaky floorboards betraying your presence. The bathroom door was slightly ajar, a sliver of light cutting through the darkness. You could hear the water hitting the tiles and a familiar, gravelly hum. It was unmistakable.
“Dean?”, you called out, your voice barely above a whisper, almost afraid to break the fragile reality you were stepping into. The humming stopped abruptly, replaced by a tense silence. Moments later, the water ceased, and you heard the rustle of a towel.
The door swung open, and there he stood. Dean Winchester. But it wasn’t the Dean you knew. The good-hearted, sweet, and brave man was long gone, as you were about to find out firsthand. He was clad only in a towel, and you could see the faint red marks in the bathtub, indicating he had just washed away blood from his body.
"Oh, coming here was a fucking mistake, sweetheart", he growled, flashing you with pitch-black eyes for a second. The beautiful green gone.
You froze, the sight of those eyes confirming your worst fears. This wasn't just Dean in a bad place; this was something darker, something more sinister. Your heart clenched as you took a step back, instinct screaming at you to run, but your legs felt like lead.
"Dean", you whispered, voice trembling. "This isn't you".
He laughed, a cold, hollow sound that sent shivers down your spine. "Oh, but it is me. Just a new and improved version".
The darkness in his eyes flickered again, and for a moment, you saw a glimpse of the Dean you knew, the Dean you cared about. It was enough to keep you rooted to the spot, desperate to reach him, to pull him back from whatever abyss he had fallen into.
"You don't have to do this", you pleaded, taking a tentative step closer. "We can help you. Sam and I, we can fix this".
Dean's expression hardened, the flicker of humanity snuffed out as quickly as it had appeared. "There's no fixing this, Y/N. You should have stayed away".
With a sudden, predatory grace, he closed the distance between you, his hand wrapping around your wrist with a bruising grip. The coldness of his touch shocked you, the pain snapping you back to the immediate danger.
"Dean, please", you gasped, struggling against his hold. "Fight it".
For a moment, his grip loosened, and his eyes softened, as if he was waging a war within himself. But then the darkness surged back, and his hold tightened once more.
"Get out", he hissed, shoving you towards the door. "Before I do something you'll regret".
You stumbled, catching yourself against the doorframe. Tears blurred your vision, but you refused to let them fall. You had to be strong, for him, for Sam, for yourself.
"I won't give up on you", you said, voice firm despite the fear. "I'll find a way to save you, Dean. I promise".
His expression twisted into something unreadable, and for a moment, you thought you saw a flash of regret. But then the cold mask was back, and he turned away from you, retreating into the shadows of the room.
"Go", he muttered, his voice hollow. "Before it's too late".
With a heavy heart, you turned and fled, the sound of the door closing behind you echoing like a final, desperate plea. You knew this was far from over. Whatever had taken hold of Dean, you would find a way to fight it. You had to.
You grappled with all the emotions, feeling the weight of fear, sadness, and determination settling heavily in your chest. For minutes, you sat in your car, thinking about what to do. You knew if you texted Sam, he would rush here, bringing himself into danger. Dean was dangerous. That’s all you knew so far.
You thought a bit longer before you parked your car in an empty side road and checked into the same motel Dean was staying at. Sooner or later, you knew you had to call Sam, but you had to make really sure in which state Dean was. So you planned on keeping your eye on him for a few days before making any further steps.
The room you got was a few doors down from Dean’s. Close enough to keep an eye on him, but hopefully far enough to avoid his immediate suspicion. You unpacked your bag slowly, mind racing with the events that had just transpired. The image of Dean’s black eyes haunted you, a stark reminder of the danger he now posed.
Night fell, and the motel grew quiet, the occasional hum of a passing car the only sound breaking the silence. You sat by the window, the curtains slightly parted, giving you a narrow view of Dean’s door. Every movement, every shadow that passed by made your heart jump.
Around midnight, the door to Dean’s room creaked open. You watched as he stepped out, now fully dressed. He looked around cautiously, then headed toward his car.
You quickly grabbed your jacket and slipped out of your room, following him at a safe distance. Dean drove out of the motel parking lot, and you trailed him, keeping your headlights off and maintaining a good distance.
He drove to a shabby bar outside of town. You waited a few minutes before you followed him inside. With your hood pulled up, you sat down in a quiet corner, watching Dean as he played pool as if nothing had changed. It didn’t even take twenty minutes until he had the attention of a blonde girl clad in tight, short shorts and a shirt that barely covered her boobs. She quickly threw herself at him, flirting shamelessly, tracing his biceps. And Dean returned the flirting.
You watched as Dean flashed her a smile, but there was something off about it—too sharp, too predatory. The girl giggled, oblivious to the danger, as she leaned closer, whispering something in his ear. Dean’s eyes flickered with that same unsettling darkness you had seen before, just for a moment, but it was enough to send a shiver down your spine.
Trying to remain inconspicuous, you sipped your drink and kept your eyes on them. Dean’s charm was undeniable, but you could see the strain behind his facade. The girl led him to a corner booth, her laughter ringing out as they settled down. Dean’s hand slid around her waist, pulling her closer, but his eyes scanned the room, ever watchful.
You knew you couldn’t let him hurt her, but you also knew you had to be careful. Approaching Dean directly could trigger something unpredictable. As you mulled over your options, a large, burly man approached their booth, glaring at Dean.
“Hey, buddy, that’s my girl”, he growled, his fists clenching at his sides.
Dean looked up slowly, a dangerous glint in his eyes. “Is that so?”, he replied, his voice calm but menacing.
The girl rolled her eyes, snapping at the man, “Get lost, Travis! We’re not fucking anymore”.
Travis’ face twisted with anger and hurt, but he didn’t back down. “You can’t just toss me aside for this guy”, he spat, taking a step closer.
Dean’s smile widened, but it was devoid of any warmth. “I think the lady made her choice”, he said, his tone dripping with menace.
The man’s anger rose, and so did Dean’s. He stood in front of Travis, who, blinded by rage, swung his fist at Dean. With a swift and practiced motion, Dean caught his wrist and twisted it until a sickening crack echoed through the bar. Travis screamed in pain, his body collapsing as Dean shoved him back, sending him crashing into a few tables.
Chaos erupted as a few men jumped to their feet, and the bartender hurried over, his face pale with fear and anger. “Hey! You need to leave, now!”, he shouted, pointing a trembling finger towards the door.
Dean’s eyes flashed dangerously, but he gave a curt nod. “Fine”, he muttered. Turning to the blonde girl, he grabbed her arm, and she grinned, thinking she had found herself a brave man. She pushed herself against Dean, her smile wide and her eyes gleaming. “I’ll definitely join you in leaving”, she purred, looking up at him with admiration.
A pang of jealousy shot through you, sharp and overwhelming. Even after Dean had hurt this man, showing a side of himself that was terrifying and unrecognizable, your feelings for him were so strong that your jealousy for the girl overshadowed everything else.
As they made their way towards the exit, you followed, your mind racing with conflicting emotions.
You got back into your car and followed Dean to the motel, keeping a safe distance to avoid drawing attention. Your heart ached with every mile, the sight of Dean with the girl igniting a tumult of jealousy and pain within you. When they arrived, you parked a few spaces away, watching as they made their way into his room.
As soon as they disappeared inside, you slipped into your own room, a few doors down. The thin walls of the motel did little to muffle the sounds of laughter and movement next door. You tried to block it out, not wanting to imagine what was happening, but the hurt was impossible to hide. It felt like a dagger twisting in your chest.
You sat on the edge of the bed, staring at the wall that separated you from Dean. Tears welled up in your eyes, but you blinked them away, determined not to let your emotions consume you. This was about more than just your feelings for Dean—this was about saving him from whatever darkness had taken hold of him.
Time passed slowly, each minute feeling like an hour. Eventually, the noises quieted down, leaving you in an oppressive silence.
You lay back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling, thoughts racing through your mind. How had it come to this? Dean, the man you cared so deeply for, was slipping away, and there was little you could do to stop it. Yet, you couldn’t give up. Not on him.
The next morning, you awoke to the sound of a door slamming. You quickly got up and peered out the window, seeing Dean and the girl leaving the room. She was still clinging to his arm, looking smug and satisfied. You swallowed hard, the jealousy flaring up again, but you forced yourself to focus. This wasn’t about her; it was about Dean.
The next few days followed a grim, predictable pattern. Dean continued to hurt people, drink heavily, and bring different women back to the motel. Each day felt like a knife twisting deeper into your heart, but you stayed vigilant, determined to find a way to save him. What you didn’t know was that every time you fell asleep, Dean snuck into your room, simply watching you. He knew you never left. Of course you wouldn’t. You loved him.
Before becoming a demon, he always asked Sam how to tell you that he would never feel the same way about you, that you were just like a sister to him. But since he saw you a few days ago, something changed. His urge to touch you, to feel you, to bury himself deep inside you had intensified by a thousand times. You were practically all he could think about.
On the fourth night, you lay in bed, exhausted from the emotional turmoil. You drifted into a restless sleep, unaware that Dean was once again standing at the foot of your bed. His eyes, now a disturbing mix of longing and darkness, traced the lines of your face, the rise and fall of your chest. His hands clenched at his sides as he fought the overwhelming urge to reach out and touch you.
In your sleep, you mumbled his name, your voice filled with a mixture of love and sorrow. It sent a shiver down Dean’s spine. He stepped closer, his breath hitching as he imagined what it would be like to be with you, to feel your skin against his. The desire was almost unbearable.
But something else flickered within him—an echo of his former self, a whisper of the man who cared for you deeply but never in this way. It was enough to make him hesitate, to keep him from crossing a line he knew he shouldn’t.
He left your room, the door closing softly behind him. Back in his own room, he sat on the edge of the bed, his mind a chaotic swirl of emotions. The darkness within him was growing stronger, but so was his obsession with you. He didn’t know how much longer he could resist.
It had been nearly two weeks now. Dean’s self-control was wearing thin, the darkness inside him growing more insistent. Tonight, as he stood in your room again, the sight of you almost undid him completely. Your air conditioner had broken, and you wore nothing but a thin, soft bra and matching panties. The fabric was so thin he could see your nipples through it, and your body wasn’t covered by a blanket.
His breath hitched, the urge to touch you, to feel your skin against his, overwhelming. He clenched his fists, trying to keep the darkness at bay, but it was a losing battle. The demon within him fed on his desires, amplifying them until they were nearly unbearable.
You mumbled in your sleep, shifting slightly, and his eyes traced every curve of your body. The sight of you like this, so vulnerable, so inviting, drove him to the edge of his sanity. He took a step closer, his resolve crumbling.
“Y/N”, he whispered, his voice a mix of longing and torment. He reached out, his hand hovering inches above your skin, the warmth radiating from you like a siren’s call. His fingers trembled, aching to close the gap.
In your sleep, you murmured his name again, a sound filled with so much love and sadness that it pierced through the fog of his desire. For a brief moment, the real Dean fought through the darkness, horrified by what he was about to do.
He pulled his hand back, clenching his jaw. “Get a grip”, he muttered to himself, backing away from the bed.
Dean knew he needed to get away from you as quickly as possible. And so he did. An hour later, he packed his bag, grabbed his keys, and left the motel, driving off into the night without a clear destination. He just needed to escape, to put as much distance between himself and you as he could.
But you had anticipated this. Knowing how erratic Dean had become, you had placed a GPS tracker on his car. The next morning, when you woke up and found his room empty, your heart sank. You checked your phone and saw the signal from the tracker, confirming that he had indeed left for good.
Determined not to let him disappear completely, you quickly packed your things and hit the road, following the signal. It led you through desolate highways, each mile stretching out in front of you like an endless test of your resolve.
Hours later, you found yourself in a small, rundown town far from the main roads. Dean’s car was parked outside a dingy motel that looked even worse than the one you had just left. You parked a few spaces away, taking a deep breath to steady your nerves.
As you stood in front of his room, hearing the shower running inside, you took a deep breath and gathered your courage. Quietly, you turned the doorknob and slipped into the room. The sound of the shower masked your entrance, but as soon as you closed the door behind you and turned back around, you froze.
Dean stood there, arms crossed, eyes black as night. The growl in his voice was unmistakable. “I told you to leave me the fuck alone, Y/N”.
Your heart pounded in your chest, but you forced yourself to stay calm. “Dean, I couldn’t. I won’t let you destroy yourself like this”.
He took a step closer, his presence overwhelming. “You have no idea what you’re dealing with”, he snarled, his voice low and menacing. “I can’t control this”.
“I know you’re fighting”, you said, your voice trembling slightly. “I can see it. But you don’t have to do it alone”.
Dean’s expression twisted with anger and something else—desperation. “You need to leave”, he said again, but there was a note of uncertainty in his voice.
“I won’t”, you replied firmly, stepping closer despite the fear gnawing at you. “I care about you too much to just walk away”.
He clenched his fists, trying to maintain control. “You’re making a fucking mistake”, he said through gritted teeth. “I can’t protect you from this”.
“You don’t have to protect me”, you said, reaching out to touch his arm.
He stared at your hand on his arm, his breath coming in ragged gasps. That’s when he lost it.
He couldn’t hold back anymore. With a feral growl, he grabbed your hips with a force that left you breathless, pulling you up as if you weighed nothing. Before you could react, he threw you onto his bed, and within seconds, he was hovering over you, his eyes a dark, stormy mix of desire and anger.
“Dean”, you whispered, your voice trembling with a mix of fear and anticipation. You could feel the intensity radiating from him, his struggle between the darkness and the man you loved.
His hands gripped your wrists, pinning them above your head as he leaned in close, his breath hot against your neck. “I told you to stay away”, he hissed, but there was a note of longing in his voice that betrayed his words.
You gazed up at him, your heart pounding. “I won’t”, you said softly, your eyes locking with his. “I’m not afraid of you”.
For a moment, he seemed to falter, the darkness in his eyes flickering. Then, with a shuddering breath, he pressed his lips to yours, the kiss filled with a desperate intensity. His grip on your wrists tightened, but you didn’t pull away. Instead, you leaned into the kiss.
Dean broke the kiss, his forehead resting against yours as he struggled for control. “You should be afraid of me”, he groaned, his voice raw and filled with torment.
His mouth wandered over your jaw, trailing open-mouthed kisses down your neck. The sensation was a heady mix of pleasure and pain as he bit your skin a bit too hard, leaving marks that would undoubtedly bruise. You gasped, your body arching involuntarily against him.
His eyes flickered, switching from black to green and back again, a visual testament to the battle raging within him. “Dean”, you whispered, your voice a desperate plea. You wanted to reach him, to pull him back from the brink.
“I can’t stop”, he growled, his grip on your wrists tightening and then loosening as he fought for control. “I don’t want to hurt you, but I can’t… I can’t fight it”.
His hands wandered to your waist, squeezing it bruisingly as he kissed down between your breasts. You knew you should push him away, that this was dangerous, but his mouth on your skin was what you had dreamed about for over three years. He was all you wanted. Even when he ripped your flannel open, exposing your black bra, you didn’t stop him.
By that moment, Dean was gone. His eyes blackened out completely as he leaned down, his breath hot against your ear. “I’m gonna fuck that nice little pussy of yours so good”, he groaned, his voice dripping with dark desire.
A shiver of fear and anticipation ran through you, but you couldn’t bring yourself to resist. The raw intensity of his need matched your own, and despite the danger, you wanted him just as badly. His hands roamed over your body, exploring every inch with a feral hunger.
“How many?”, he growled against your skin before biting your nipple again, the sharp sting sending a shiver down your spine.
You gasped, not understanding his question at first. “Dean… what?”, you managed to breathe out, your mind clouded with desire and confusion.
“How many fucked you before?”, he demanded, his voice low and possessive.
You hesitated, the answer caught in your throat. His grip on your waist tightened, and you knew he was waiting for an answer. “No one”, you admitted softly, your voice barely above a whisper. “No one, Dean”.
For a moment, there was a silence that felt like it stretched on forever. “Good”, he muttered, his voice filled with a dark satisfaction. “Because you’re mine”.
He kissed you with a fierce intensity, his hands roaming over your body with renewed urgency. You could feel the possessiveness in his touch, a need to claim you completely. His fingers dug into your hips as he moved lower, his mouth trailing kisses down your stomach, leaving a path of heat in its wake.
As he reached your jeans, he roughly pulled them down, your breath hitching as you lay in front of him with nothing but your underwear. The way he looked at you made your heart beat faster. You couldn’t believe that this was finally happening. You had wished for this so often, and even if Dean was a demon now, you wanted nothing more.
His eyes roamed over your body, dark with desire. The intensity of his gaze sent shivers down your spine, and you couldn’t help but feel a thrill of anticipation. But beneath the desire, a small voice in your mind reminded you of the reality of the situation. Dean wasn’t himself. If he ever came back to being the old Dean, he would probably hate himself for taking your virginity, for fucking you at all. You weren’t even 21.
Dean’s hands trailed down your body, fingers hooking under the waistband of your panties. He tore them away with a growl, leaving you completely exposed to him. His eyes darkened further, and he let out a low, appreciative noise. “So fucking perfect”, he murmured, his voice rough with need.
He positioned himself between your legs, and you felt the heat of his body against yours. His fingers brushed over your most sensitive areas, making you gasp. “Dean”, you whispered, a mix of plea and longing.
He leaned down, capturing your lips in a fierce kiss. “You’re mine”, he growled against your mouth, his hands roaming possessively over your body. “No one else will ever touch you like this”.
Despite the fear and the knowledge that this wasn’t the real Dean, you couldn’t bring yourself to stop him. You wanted him so badly, had wanted this for so long. As his mouth traveled down your body, leaving a trail of heat in its wake, you arched into him, your breath coming in shallow gasps.
“Dean, please”, you begged, your voice trembling.
He looked up at you, his eyes black as night. “You want this”, he said, his voice a dark promise. “Say it”.
“Yes”, you whispered, your heart pounding. “I want this. I want you”.
With that, Dean pulled down his jeans and boxers just enough to free himself, not bothering to remove the rest of his clothes.
As you saw how he stroked himself, looking at your exposed body with black eyes, finally some sense came to you. Your breath hitched, and you backed away, closing your legs. It wasn't what you had imagined; you always dreamed about it being more intimate, with more love, with cuddling, with him kissing you more, and more softly.
"I don’t want this. Not like this", you whispered, fear creeping into your voice. But Dean wasn’t having it.
His eyes darkened further, a growl escaping his lips as he grabbed your ankles, pulling you back toward him with a force that left you breathless. "You wanted this", he hissed, his grip bruising. "You said it".
You tried to wiggle free from his grasp, but it was impossible. “Dean, don’t, please”, you whispered, your voice trembling with fear.
He snapped again, his grip unyielding. “You said you wanted this, so now you’re gonna fucking take it”, he growled, his voice filled with anger and desire.
Tears gathered in your eyes as he pushed your legs roughly open. But as he saw the tears and fear in your eyes, he hesitated, if only for a second. In his twisted, dark mind, there was still a fragment of care for you left. Dean let go of your ankles, and you instantly backed away, pulling the blanket over your naked body.
“How do you want it?”, he grumbled after a few moments, standing up and pushing his boxers back up, not caring about his open jeans as he headed for the whiskey bottle on the desk.
Dean brushed through his hair, clearly annoyed, and took a big sip of his whiskey. He glared at you, his eyes still dark with desire and frustration. “Not like this”, you whispered, your voice trembling. “I don’t want it to be so… cold. I want it to be nice. I need you to be gentle with me”.
He rolled his eyes, exhaling sharply. “Gentle?”, he muttered, almost to himself, the word seeming foreign and unwelcome in his current state. But the flicker of hesitation was still there, the part of him that cared for you trying to break through.
He stared at you for a long moment, as if trying to process your words, then turned back to the desk, taking another long swig of whiskey. “Gentle”, he repeated, the word tasting strange on his tongue.
He still looked annoyed, but there was a flicker of something else in his eyes—a struggle against the darkness. With a rough motion, he pulled off his shirt and tossed it aside. Your cheeks heated as you watched him.
As he looked at you, he felt a strange clench in his heart, something that felt almost like pain. “Alright”, he muttered, his voice still rough. “I’ll try. But don’t expect me to be all soft and shit”.
He stepped out of his jeans and boxershorts, leaving him naked and without any shame or hesitation. The sight of him, all hard lines and raw masculinity, sent a shiver down your spine. He pointed to your bra, his voice rough as he muttered, “Pull that shit off”.
You hesitated for a moment, the reality of the situation making your heart race. Slowly, you reached up and unhooked your bra, letting it fall away.
Dean’s eyes darkened with an intense, raw desire as he watched your bra fall away. Without a moment’s hesitation, he grabbed your ankles and pulled, making you fall on your back, your breasts bouncing with the sudden movement. He climbed onto the bed, his movements rough and impatient, nudging your legs apart with his knee until your inner thighs hurt.
He hovered above you, his gaze locked on yours, filled with a mix of hunger and something more vulnerable buried deep within. One of his hands slipped between your legs, exploring your most intimate areas with a rough possessiveness. “Fucking wet for a fucking virgin”, he grumbled, his voice low and filled with dark satisfaction. Without warning, he pushed a finger inside you, making you gasp at the sudden intrusion.
The sensation was overwhelming, a mix of pleasure and discomfort that left you breathless. You tried to relax, to trust that Dean would find the part of him that could be gentle, but it was hard with the intensity of his touch.
Dean’s eyes gleamed with a dark satisfaction as he felt your reaction. “So fucking tight”, he teased, his voice dripping with a twisted mix of desire and amusement. His grip on your hips tightened, preventing you from backing away as he pushed his finger deeper inside you, curling it slightly to elicit another gasp from your lips.
You whimpered, your body instinctively trying to retreat from the overwhelming sensation, but his hold was unyielding. “Dean, please”, you pleaded, your voice a mix of desperation and confusion.
Dean grumbled, his voice rough with desire, “Wait until you feel my cock”. He started to move his finger inside you, watching your every reaction closely. His attempt to not be too rough was evident, but he couldn’t quite find a gentle rhythm. His touch was still intense, making you moan strained, trying to ignore the pressure.
Seeing your discomfort, he leaned in and kissed you, his lips hard and desperate. He seemed to be trying to calm you down with the kiss, though his roughness was still present. You could feel his struggle, the battle between the darkness and the part of him that cared for you.
“Dean”, you whispered against his lips, your voice trembling. “Please… just slow down”.
Dean took a deep breath, urging himself to slow down a bit. He looked into your eyes, his forehead resting against yours, the tension in his body palpable. With a careful push, he added a second finger inside you, making you gasp at the increased pressure.
“Fuck, you’re so tight”, he muttered, his voice a mix of awe and frustration. “This is definitely gonna hurt”.
You whimpered softly, the sensation intense and overwhelming.
Dean kept pushing slowly inside you, his fingers moving with a deliberate, measured pace. He was trying his best to get you ready for him, despite the roughness that lingered at the edges of his touch. You whimpered softly, the sensation intense and overwhelming, but you could feel the effort he was making to be careful.
“Just a bit more”, he murmured, his voice low and strained. He continued to move his fingers inside you, curling them slightly to stretch you. The discomfort began to ebb away, replaced by a growing warmth and pleasure.
As he was convinced you were wet enough, he slowly pulled his fingers out, his eyes never leaving yours. He grabbed his dick, positioning himself at your entrance, the tip brushing against you.
You shivered underneath him, biting your lip and gripping his biceps. Dean looked down at your pussy, his brow furrowed with concentration as he tried to thrust inside you as gently as possible. Despite his efforts, he failed, bottoming out with one deep thrust. The sudden, intense sensation made you scream, your body arching against him.
He immediately pressed his lips to yours, swallowing your cry, his kiss rough but desperate. “I’m trying, I swear”, his voice filled with frustration.
Tears welled in your eyes from the pain, but you forced yourself to breathe deeply, trying to adjust to the fullness. “Just… give me a moment”, you whispered, your voice trembling.
Dean breathed heavily, the intensity of the moment making it nearly impossible for him to hold back. You were clenching around him so hard that he had to grit his teeth to keep from losing control.
“You´re so fucking tight”, he groaned, his forehead pressing against yours. His muscles were tense, his body trembling with the effort to stay still.
You took several deep breaths, willing your body to relax and adjust to the sensation. The pain slowly began to subside, replaced by a growing warmth and pleasure.
Before you could tell him you were ready, Dean began to slowly pull out, a deep groan escaping his lips. The sensation was intense, and you gasped, trying to adjust to the feeling of him moving inside you. He pushed back in with measured restraint.
After a few thrusts that left you breathless, you urged him to go slower, the sensation still overwhelming. “Dean, please, slower”, you managed to gasp, your hands gripping his shoulders.
“I’m already going slow!”, he snapped, frustration evident in his voice. The veins on his neck stood out as he fought to hold back, to keep from losing control. His eyes flickered between black and green, the struggle within him palpable.
You could see the effort it took for him to maintain his composure, his muscles tense with the strain. “I know”, you whispered, trying to soothe him. “Just… keep trying”.
His face fell against your shoulder as he continued to push inside you with a strained slowness, his breath hot and ragged against your skin. “Like this?”, he muttered breathlessly, his voice filled with a mix of frustration and desperation.
You nodded, your hands sliding up to tangle in his hair. “Yes, like that”, you whispered, trying to encourage him.
He groaned, his movements steady but tense, each thrust controlled but heavy with effort.
“You feel so good”, he murmured against your shoulder, his voice trembling. “So fucking good”.
“Dean”, you moaned, your body responding to the rhythm he had found. The pain had faded, replaced by a deep, growing pleasure that made your toes curl. “Keep going, just like that”.
He groaned again, the sound deep and guttural. “I should have fucked you sooner”, he mumbled, his breath hot against your ear. “Never felt a pussy like yours”.
His words sent a shiver through you, a mix of shock and arousal. You could feel his desperation, his need to claim you completely.
“Dean”, you whispered, your hands tightening in his hair. “I love you”.
His movements faltered for a moment, the words seeming to reach a part of him buried beneath the darkness. “I know”, he mumbled, his voice thick with emotion. He pushed deeper inside you, hitting your sweet spot with a precision that made you gasp.
“Oh shit", you moaned, your body arching against him, the pleasure intensifying. Your hands tightened in his hair, pulling him closer as you tried to anchor yourself in the overwhelming sensations.
His thrusts became more deliberate, more controlled, as if he was trying to savor every moment.
He felt you clenching around him, knowing you were close. “You’re mine now”, he murmured, his voice rough and possessive. “I hope you know that”.
Your heart ached at his words. Deep down, you knew that the real Dean didn’t love you the way you loved him. But this Dean, twisted by darkness, seemed to be obsessed with you in a way that was both unsettling and intoxicating. In your desperate mind, it was better than nothing.
You clung to him, your body arching against his as the pleasure built to an almost unbearable intensity.
His thrusts becoming more purposeful as he felt you nearing your climax. “Say it”, he demanded, his breath hot against your ear. “Say you’re mine”.
“I’m yours, Dean”, you gasped, your body trembling with the force of your impending release. “I’m yours”.
With a final, deep thrust, he pushed you over the edge. Your body convulsed with pleasure, your climax shattering through you with an intensity that left you breathless. Dean followed moments later, a guttural moan escaping his lips as he buried himself deep inside you, his release shuddering through him.
You were overwhelmed by your first real orgasm, your body trembling with the intensity of it. Your nails dug into Dean’s back as he spilled inside of you, his own release shuddering through him. You both lay there, breathing heavily, your minds spinning from the sheer force of the moment.
Dean’s face was buried in the crook of your neck, his breath hot against your skin. He remained inside you, his body still trembling slightly from the aftershocks. The room was filled with the sound of your combined heavy breathing, a testament to the intensity of what had just happened.
After a while, Dean pulled out of you, letting himself fall back on the bed, one hand resting on his sweaty stomach. You hesitated for a moment, the silence hanging heavily in the air. The intimacy of the moment had faded, replaced by an unsettling awkwardness.
“What do I do now?”, you asked quietly, your voice barely above a whisper.
Dean rolled his eyes, his frustration evident. “Go and fucking clean yourself before you soak my sheets”, he grumbled, his tone rough. Blood and his cum were already gathering between your thighs, making you feel extremely vulnerable.
You felt a pang of shame at his words, your cheeks flushing with embarrassment. The reality of the situation hit you hard, and you struggled to keep your emotions in check. Slowly, you got up from the bed, trying to ignore the uncomfortable wetness between your legs.
You made your way to the bathroom, each step feeling heavier than the last. Once inside, you closed the door behind you and leaned against it for a moment, taking a deep breath.
You cleaned yourself up as best as you could, the water from the sink cold against your skin. As you wiped away the remnants of blood and cum, you couldn’t help but feel a mix of emotions—relief that it was over, shame for what had happened, and a lingering sadness for the way things had turned out.
When you finally returned to the bedroom, Dean was still lying on the bed, his eyes closed and his breathing steady. With shaking legs, you began to gather your clothes, trying to hide your naked body as best as you could. The vulnerability and shame still weighed heavily on you, and you moved quietly, hoping not to draw his attention.
But Dean’s eyes opened, and he watched you intently. “What are you doing?”, he grumbled, his voice rough.
You froze for a moment, clutching your clothes to your chest. “I… I was just getting dressed”, you stammered, your voice barely above a whisper.
He sighed heavily, rubbing a hand over his face. “Just come back to bed”, he muttered, sounding more tired than angry. “We can deal with this tomorrow”.
You looked at him, puzzled. “You want me to stay?”, you asked quietly, afraid to hear a no.
Dean rolled his eyes, his frustration clear. “Do I fucking stutter?”, he grumbled. “What part of ‘you’re mine’ didn’t you understand?”.
His words, though rough, brought a strange sense of relief. You slowly let your clothes drop back onto the chair and returned to the bed, slipping under the covers beside him. The vulnerability and shame still lingered, but his possessiveness was oddly reassuring.
Dean wrapped an arm around you, pulling you close against his chest. Despite his gruff demeanor, his touch was surprisingly gentle. You nestled against him, your head resting on his shoulder, feeling a mixture of comfort and confusion.
“Just get some sleep”, Dean murmured, his voice softer now, almost tender. He was tired and didn’t want to be disturbed. You bit your lip, inhaling his scent. You were sore, feeling it already, but you didn’t mind. Dean, your Dean, albeit a twisted version of him, lay beside you, naked. After he just gave you the best orgasm ever with ease.
He had taken your virginity. You had lost your virginity to your best friend, whom you had been in love with from the day you met him. The reality of it all settled over you, a mix of emotions swirling in your chest.
You nestled closer to him, savoring the warmth and comfort of his presence despite the complexities of the situation. As you breathed in his familiar scent, a sense of bittersweet contentment washed over you. It wasn’t the perfect, romantic first time you had always imagined, but it was with Dean, and that meant something.
“Dean”, you whispered tentatively, unsure if he was still awake. “I… I’m glad it was you”.
He didn’t respond immediately, and for a moment, you thought he had fallen asleep. Then he shifted slightly, his arm tightening around you.
“I said you should sleep”, he grumbled, his voice low and rough with fatigue.
“Okay”, you whispered, nestling closer to him and resting your head on his chest.
His heartbeat was steady and strong, a comforting rhythm that began to lull you into a sense of calm. The soreness in your body was a reminder of what had happened, but as you lay in Dean’s arms, it became easier to push away the doubts and fears. For now, you focused on the simple fact that you were together.
The night was quiet, and eventually, you drifted off to sleep, the events of the day fading into the background.
———————————
A/N: Please let me know what you think.🥰 Actually, I have already finished the story. I will upload the other parts one by one and I have to say, this is one of my favorites.
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Part 2
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Taglist: @spnfamily-j2 @kr804573 @kylersgirlfriend34 @spncupcake @woooonau @winchesterwild78 @anacarolinadasf
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narrycherries · 2 months
Text
call it what you want✨pt.4
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Things have changed, and it’s a lot harder to deal with than you anticipated..
masterlist
word count: 5.4k
warnings/tags: harry x reader, secret relationship, friends to lovers, fluff
It had been a couple of weeks since your last intimate encounter with Harry. That also meant that you really hadn’t be able to see him privately since then. You saw each other twice within the two and a half weeks, and that was very odd for you. Harry had a lot of stuff going on with his classes and his internship, while you had a lot going on with your family. You had to take a weekend trip with your parents to visit some family - they pressured you into going, so that sucked up one of your opportunities to see him.
Tonight was finally the time you got to see him for more than half an hour, except like the other two times, it wasn’t private. Your friend group was celebrating someone’s birthday, so there were plans for a dinner at a restaurant and then possibly something after. You weren’t sure if you’d attend the after dinner plans, because you were hoping that Harry would suggest you and him ditch everyone.
You arrived at the restaurant with your friend, Stephanie, who picked you up from your apartment. You followed her inside the restaurant and towards the back where you had been told your table was. Your friends were gathered around a long table, which looked a little too small for everyone, but it was nothing they weren’t used to. It’s hard to accommodate this many people. Nobody ever complained.
One side of the table was made of chairs, while the other was a long bench against the back wall of the restaurant. You gulped gently as you saw Harry was sitting on the outside of the booth, a space between him and your brother, of all people. He was busy looking down at his phone, texting you actually, when you walked up to the table. You were quiet as you appeared next to him. His phone screen was sort of dimmed, but you could see your name and the text he was waiting for you to reply to.
You cleared your throat and tapped his shoulder. He jumped, looking up expecting to see a stranger. As soon as he realized it was you, he laughed and went to stand up. You backed up a little, but he didn’t let you get far. He put his arms around you, giving you a tight squeeze. You did the same, but only allowing one arm to go around his torso. You didn’t want to look too affectionate in front of everyone, especially your own brother.
“Haven’t seen you in forever.” He mumbled against your ear before pulling away.
“Yeah, you’ve been neglecting me.” You laughed slightly, making him grin.
“You’re the one who keeps coming up with plans.”
“Things I can’t get out of.”
Harry decided to let you win the little spat. He sat down and slid over towards Austin, who was not even paying attention to your arrival. That was a relief, though. The less he watched or noticed, the more you could get away with.
“Saved you a seat.” He patted the space next to him, waiting for you to join.
You smiled sweetly and sat down on the leather booth bench. It was comfortable, but definitely a little squished. You were practically hanging off the edge.
“Can you scoot over a bit?” You asked him, glancing down at your thigh spilling over the side of the bench.
“Not really.” He sighed back, but he leaned a bit closer to you and lowered his voice. “Get as close to me as you can, peach.”
“I can’t get any closer.” You whispered back, a little bit frustrated with the arrangment.
Harry glanced towards Austin and your group of friends, who were not paying you any mind. He swatted the long, thick table cloth that was draped over the table and did something you didn’t expect. Your eyes went wide as he grabbed your thigh and hoisted your leg over his. He pulled the table cloth back, which perfectly disguised your leg. It gave you more room on the booth, which you were grateful for.
“That better?” He asked with a smirk.
“A little.”
Harry’s name got called, so you were now put on the back burner as he turned his head to answer. You scoped out your surroundings while you had the chance. Stephanie had sat in the chair left open at the other end of the table. There was an empty space in front of you but the chair was missing, which was nice because you didn’t like people watching you as you ate. The person in front of Harry wouldn’t be paying you any attention either. Jessie was a good friend of yours, but she was fairly new to the group. She was dating one of the guys and this was her first time at a big outing. Her eyes seemed to be fixed on the other end of the table. Of course, your brother was next to Harry and he posed the biggest threat.
You huffed to yourself as your eyes fell to the utensils rolled up in a napkin in front of you. A month ago, you wouldn’t have thought twice about who you were sitting in front of or who was by Harry. Things have changed, despite how many times Harry’s said nothing would.. It was different. You weren't going to show some crazy public affection or anything, definitely not kiss him in front of your friends, but you were becoming paranoid of someone watching. What if they caught on to the way Harry looks at you now or how close you desire to be to him? What if they notice any little thing that’s out of place?
You opted to distract yourself as Harry was still lost in conversation. You pulled your phone from your purse and decided to read the text Harry had sent that you missed while coming into the restaurant.
From Harry: are you close yet? I got you a seat next to me.. cant wait to see you been too long
You smiled at his sweet words and the gesture of saving you a seat, that was always something he did for you and you greatly appreciated it. While you enjoyed everyone’s company, you preferred to be next to him or at least across from him. Texting seemed to be a good idea, it would be more incognito and secretive for you both. You started to type a message to him, hoping he would hear his phone ding or feel it vibrate in his pocket.
To Harry: thank you for saving me a seat xx
To your surprise, he felt his phone vibrate under his leg. He picked it up and read the message on the screen, a smile shaping to his lips. You were typing another one, so you didn’t get to catch his smile.
To Harry: by the way.. my leg is starting to hurt.. can’t sit like this :/
His brows furrowed as he read the second message. He tried to think of something, but he couldn’t come up with anything. Nothing made sense and frankly there was nothing he could do it to fix the situation.
From Harry: I’m sorry peach.. i should’ve got us chairs
From Harry: you look beautiful.. is this a new dress
You giggled a little at his words just as your leg fell from his. He hated that you couldn’t be comfortable, but at least you were next to him and not across the table. Now that everyone was here, the waiter returned to the table to start drink orders. You weren’t going to stop texting Harry, though.
To Harry: It’s okay I’ll be fine.. and yes, i got this last weekend. Does it look okay?
Harry nudged you with his elbow to get your attention. You lifted your head and realized the waiter was there to get you drink order. Harry got a beer, which you thought was nasty, but you just asked for a water. Once the guy walked off, you looked back down to your screen.
From Harry: the dress looks perfect on you. Now, talk to me in person for a bit.. please
You took a deep breath, but figured you could do as he asked. You sat your phone down on the table and turned your head towards him. He was looking your way, of course, and gave you a smile.
“Are you going to the thing after we eat?” You asked curiously.
He shrugged. “I dunno. Are you going?”
You licked your lips and let your eyes fall down to his shoulder. “I.. was gonna see if you wanted to.. just go home or something.”
His lips shaped to a smile. “We can do that. My place or yours?”
You thought for a moment about how much you liked being at his place, but then you remembered a key thing made everything a little easier. “We can go to mine. No roommate for the weekend.”
“We gon’ throw a rager?”
You rolled your eyes and nudged his side with your elbow. “Shut up.”
Just as he was about to say something, someone called his name again. He gave you a frown before turning his head towards the other end of the table. Even though you didn’t discuss with him the importance of flying under the radar, he seemed to be on the same page as you. The less he seems invested in you, the less likely they’d be to say something or notice something. A con of that? Well, you weren’t getting much of his attention..
You picked up one of the menus and began to read over it, trying to determine what you wanted. You never liked to pig out in front of Harry, whether was at a restaurant or in your own home. It just seemed unappealing to you. But you were starving, and you loved the food here.
“Hey, Harry.” You said at a volume he’d be able to hear over everyone else.
His head turned towards you. “Yeah?”
“What are you getting?”
He leaned into you so he could peek at the menu. “Probably a pizza. What about you?”
You gulped gently, a lie was sitting on your tongue ready to be told. “Um, I dunno. M’not really hungry.. for like a whole plate.”
“I’ll get a large pizza.. you can eat with me, if you want.”
You thought for a moment, but then pursed your lips. “You get mushrooms.. I don’t like mushrooms.”
He chuckled, then moved his hand underneath the table cloth. You were beginning to get a little anxious, but when his heavy hand sat down on your thigh, you let out a sigh of relief. He didn’t realize how much he helped you, but you sure did appreciate it.
“I won’t get any mushrooms.. we can order it how you like it.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah. I’ll buy it, you order it how you want.”
You let out a huff. “We can split it.”
“I will buy it.” He said with a shrug, knowing that he would win if a disagreement came about anyway.
You didn’t feel like arguing with him over this, even if it did mean his attention would be fixed on you. You decided to let it go and just decide what kind of pizza you wanted to get. You knew the things Harry liked, which is all the things you liked - the issue was always you being picky with the things he liked.
“Can you-“ You stopped your sentence when you looked his way and realized he was talking to one of your friends again.
Don’t be needy, don’t be clingy. You had to remind yourself of that over and over in your head. Don’t make it obvious, don’t draw any attention to yourself. You swallowed harshly and let your eyes fall to your lap. Harry had moved his hand by now, which was upsetting you.
The light purple fabric of your dress caught your attention. When you bought the dress, you thought maybe the tiny flowers all over it made you seem childish. But it was so pretty and the shade of purple was so gentle and light, you adored it. Part of you wondered which aspect of the dress was Harry’s favorite. Did he like the flowers or was he more a fan of the color? You wanted to ask him, you usually do ask him things like that, but he was distracted.. You were unsure of how long you sat there in your own personal silence, ignoring the world around you.
You weren’t really paying attention to the conversation but when Harry spoke, you immediately began to listen to what he said.
“I don’t think I’ll be able to. I’ve got a shit ton of work to do tonight.”
“Oh, c’mon, just a couple hours, couple drinks.” Your brother was encouraging him to go to a bar with them after dinner to further celebrate.
“I would if I had time, but I just can’t this weekend.”
You knew that was a lie. Harry was going to follow you when the dinner was over, whether you wanted to go home or go get ice cream or for a drive - whatever it was, he was with you. Now, telling everyone else that would be a little suspicious. They knew you spent extra time together, you were super close to each other. But, that didn’t really mean they never once thought something was going on. The goal was to keep things as a wonder and not as a suspicion.
Before you had the chance to talk to Harry about what you wanted to eat, the waiter returned and began taking orders. He started at the other end of the table, so you had time to tell Harry. But the issue was, he was talking to your brother again.
“Harry.” You mumbled quietly, hoping he’d hear you since the noise level had gone down. He didn’t.
You tried again, a bit louder. “Harry.”
He was still fixated on whatever he was saying to Austin. You huffed and finally said it at a normal level.
“Harry.”
“Yeah?” He finally answered, his eyes meeting yours with a little bit of worry. You sounded a little nervous when you spoke.
“Can you order it?” You nodded towards the waiter, not sure if Harry had even noticed him return.
“What do you want on it, love?” His brows furrowed slightly as he waited for your answer.
“Pepperoni.. and extra cheese.” You mumbled back, a little hesitant to say anything.
He smiled. “Should’ve known that, hm? Your favorite.”
“Are you.. going to order it?” You were fumbling with your fingers in your lap as you tried to stay calm and patient.
“Yeah, peach. I know you don’t like ordering.”
You rolled your eyes and let your head lower. You felt a wave of heat rolling over your cheeks as the waiter made it to your end of the table and Harry told him what you wanted. It wasn’t a problem that he ordered for you, but it felt embarassing. You usually ate out with him alone, not with other people, so it was such a normal thing for him to order for you. It felt odd to ask him, especially since your brother was so close. If you were being with honest with yourself, your anxiety was unusually through the roof tonight. Normally, you weren’t this worried.
After the waiter double checked everyone’s order and walked away from the table, the conversations picked back up and Harry, once again, turned his attention away from you. It made your heart sink. It felt like you didn’t even exist. You were usually upbeat and quick to make a joke or start a conversation. But tonight was different. You didn't want to be with your friends, you wanted to be with Harry. And that desire was much stronger than anything else you ever experienced. You wanted him all to yourself, and this night felt like torture.
As Harry’s deep laugh rumbled next to you, you were starting to get jealous more than you had been already.. You didn’t want him to laugh at anyone else’s words, you didn’t want him to respond to anyone else’s questions, you didn’t want his eyes on anyone else’s as he talked or listened to someone, you didn’t want him focusing on anything or anyone but you..
Without thinking twice, you clutched your purse and stood up from the booth. You swiftly walked away without catching anyone’s eye, or so you thought. You weaved your way through the restaurant, dodging waiters and people walking to their seats as you tried to get to the restroom area quickly. Thankfully, you were familiar with this restaurant and kenw exactly where to go. It was on the other side of the building, which meant you had to pass by a lot of people - most of whom never paid you a glance. It was nerve wracking and made your heart flutter. You wanted to disappear.
It felt like a century had passed by the time you reached the door to the restroom. You were thankful it was just one toilet and no stalls. The last thing you wanted was to be surrounded by people. You turned the lock and sat your purse on the counter. Of course, you weren’t really that surprised when you looked down at your phone screen to check the time - hoping this dinner party would end quickly - and saw a text from Harry.
You didn’t know, but the moment you jumped up, everyone noticed and began to ask about you. Your brother said he knew you weren’t feeling well earlier in the week, so that could be what was wrong. Harry mentioned, even though it was a lie, that you said you were feeling off. He didn’t want anyone to question it too much. They did talk about how quiet you had been, but Harry assured them that you were okay with them not making a big deal out of it.
From Harry: is everything okay peach? Ran off without saying anything..
You huffed at his message, only because it seemed so obvious to you but not to him. Does he not realize how much he had ignored you this whole time? Maybe he didn’t care, maybe you were just being a cry baby about it and it was all stupid. Harry doens’t belong to you, he isn’t yours.. He has no obligation to speak to you.. You began to overthink and worry about everything now.
To Harry: just going to the restroom..
Of course, Harry was not stupid and he knew you entirely too well. If you just wanted to use the restroom, you would have told him or excused yourself. You practically ran from the table like someone was chasing you.
From Harry: :/ are you okay?
To Harry: if i said no would you believe me…
From Harry: what’s the matter lovey? Are you uncomfortable on the bench? I can find you a chair
To Harry: no.. I’m fine
From Harry: clearly you're not fine.. please tell me what’s wrong.
His message made your eyes start to water. You waved your hand in front of them quickly, trying to prevent any tears from actually forming or spilling from your eyes. You couldn’t cry right now. This wasn’t the place for a breakdown. Despite not wanting to get emotional, you knew you had to be honest to him. These past few weeks have proven to you that if you’re honest with him, then he’d understand and things would go much better. Like with the kissing, you were honest about what you wanted and he agreed - even though it might have been hard to understand for you both.
To Harry: i miss you. That’s what’s wrong.
From Harry: darling I’ve been right beside you this whole time..
You felt like screaming now. Crying didn’t seem to be a good enough option. Why wasn’t he understanding you? It had been days since you last seen him, and you wanted nothing more than to just talk to him and have his attention for a while. Sure, you were going to have him all to yourself after dinner, but that meant waiting for a long time.. You just needed him..
To Harry: that’s not what i mean.
When Harry didn’t respond right away like he had consistently been doing the whole time, you started to feel your stomach churn. What if you upset him by being so annoying? You pressed your back against the door and closed your eyes tight. The last thing you needed to do was start to cry and ruin your makeup. Having smudged mascara and red eyes would definitely show that you were upset. You took a few deep breathes, pushing them out slowly.
Thoughts of being a brat were starting to circle your mind. Austin always likes to say that you nag on and on until you get your way with your parents and it’s annoying. Maybe you’re doing that same exact thing with Harry and he’s had enough? The options seemed to be endless at this point.
There were a few knocks on the door all of a sudden, which made you jump. You realized you weren’t locked away in your bedroom but in a public space. You grabbed your purse from the counter and quickly turned the lock, pulling the door open.
“Sorry-“ You paused as you looked up and seen a familiar face - not a stranger waiting for the bathroom.
“Hey.” Harry’s voice made your stomach erupt with butterflies. “Can we talk?”
“I don’t wanna.” You muttered out, tearing your eyes from his so you would be less tempted to cry.
Harry gently grabbed your waist on either side and guided you back into the bathroom. You didn’t protest, only because you were scared of crying and ruining everything for yourself. He let you go once you were back in the bathroom, and he turned the lock before facing you again.
“Tell me what’s going on.” He said in a calm, smooth voice.
You shook your head, but opted to grab onto his waist. You twisted your fingers in his shirt and pulled yourself against his chest. You needed to be close to him more than anything right now.
He licked his lips and embraced you with both arms, hugging you tight like he hadn’t seen you in years - and it felt that way. “I miss you, too, peach. A whole bunch.”
Your lip was quivering, but you were trying so hard to control it. “M’sorry.”
“Hey, hey, why are you saying sorry?” He asked with a sigh.
“Cause.. I’m a big cry baby.”
He gave you a gentle chuckle and pulled back so he could see your face. Of course, you were trying to avoid him. He softly touched your chin with his knuckle and tilted your head back. There was a sad look on your face - a pout on your lips and a sadness in your eyes - that didn’t sit right with him.
“You’re not a cry baby.” He assured you with a quick peck to your forehead. “Now, tell me.. what’s going on?”
This was your chance to actually speak to him for more than a minute at a time, so you wanted to just let it all out. Taking advtange of this moment might make things worse, or it could be extremely helpful. Either way, you were about to find out.
“I hate being with everyone.” Your fist relaxed on his side so that your hand could shape against his body. He was glad to feel your warmth through his shirt now. “I just wanna talk to you and.. and get to see you but.. everyone always wants to talk to you and.. and it’s not fair.”
He lifted his brows a little. “There’s no need to be jealous, honeybun. Y’know that you’re my favorite person, yeah? We can talk all night if you want.”
You shook your head. “You keep.. keep ignoring me and talking to everyone else.”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t realize I was ignoring you.”
“I was talking.. and they interrupted me.” You whined back, trying to get your point to be evident to him.
“I’m sorry. I.. I guess I’m just used to.. how we used to be.”
That choice of words made your heart stop and your eyes widen. You feared this would come up. Your decision to ask him to kiss you had really ruined everything.
“I.. I’m sorry. I.. I shouldn’t have ever.. did anything with you. Now we can’t even.. have fucking dinner-“
“Hey, shh, don’t say that, darling. That’s not what I meant.”
You let his body go and stepped back. “You don’t have to say it, Harry. We can’t even.. sit at a damn restaurant anymore. Things are too different.”
Harry was not on the same page as you, and he had to get that across to you somehow without overwhelming you. He stayed where he was though, in attempt to not make things worse.
“Listen to me, sweetheart.” He said with a slightly stern voice, trying to get your attention.
You huffed, crossing your arms over your chest. “I want to leave. I have to go home.”
“No, you’re not leaving right now.” He threw that staying in his spot idea out the window and closed the space you shared.
His big, heavy hands grabbed either side of your waist and he pulled you closer. Your head naturally leaned back to look at him, even though you didn’t want to.
“What I meant was.. this is the first time we’ve been with everyone since.. the kissing and all that.. We’ve always been a lot different in private, yeah? Before everything happened. We’ve always been touchy, haven't we?”
He was waiting for you to reply, and when you nodded to him, he took that as you staying on track with what he was saying.
“I’ve always tried to tone things down in front of people.. just so they don’t bug us about it.” He said with a slight frown, which made you feel upset - you wanted to comfort him just as much as he wanted to comfort you. “And m’just trying to do that now.. If you wanted to go out there and make out in front of everyone then I’d gladly do that, but I know you don’t.. and that’s okay. We don’t have to. I’m.. just trying to keep everything the same for their eyes.”
You soaked in his words and stayed quiet for a few moments, not sure if he was finished or not. He lifted one hand up to your jaw and carefully cradled your head in his palm. You wanted to cry, but you hated it when you did that in front of him. You had to be strong and understand what was happening right now, instead of overreacting and losing your control.
“I get that.. I do.. and thank you for.. for trying but.. it still sucks that you’re not.. paying attention to me.”
Harry’s heart was breaking for you. He could tell you wanted to burst into tears, and it was obvious you were bothered by all of this. He took a deep breath and leaned down to your face. He pressed a soft kiss to your lips, which were still in a pout and swollen from how hard you had been biting them since you arrived at the restaurant.
“I didn’t know that you wanted me to do that much. I’m sorry, I should’ve asked.” His voice was in a whisper as he spoke against your cheek.
“Just.. at least just talk to me.. like in a normal way. I don’t like.. being ignored.” You said quietly, still surprised that you hadn’t began to cry yet.
He smiled, then tilted your head back. “I will. I’m really sorry, okay? I’ll make it up to you later.”
You finally let out a little laugh, and it gave him some relief. He really thought he had messed up big time. He figured you were on the same page as him when the night started, but he realized things had really changed.. It wasn’t just cuddling and staying the night with each other that you were having to cover up or try to downplay anymore.. it was much more than that.
“How?”
He chuckled, glad to see the sparkle had returned to your eyes. “However you want, peach.”
You brought your hand up to his wrist and coiled it around him, thinking about how you held onto it the night he was touching you. He licked his lips again, his tongue was enticing you but making out in a bathroom wasn’t on your bucket list as of now..
“I.. I think I have an idea.”
Harry’s lips shaped to a smirk. “I’m sure you do.”
To avoid any suspicion, Harry returned to the table before you did. Stephanie had texted you, asking if you were okay, and you told her you were just feeling a little uneasy. Nobody questioned it once you returned to the table and sat down beside Harry, who was glad you were finally back next to him.
A conversation was going on between everyone, except for you because you chose to occupy yourself with your phone. You were mindlessly scrolling just to avoid having to talk to anyone. Despite lying about feeling sick, you actually didn’t feel completely okay. You weren't physically sick, but you were tired and just ready to leave.
After a few minutes of talking, Harry decided to withdraw himself from the conversation and turn his attention towards you. It was a bit easier now since you had admitted to not feeling well to everyone else. They would just assume he’s checking on you, and pay you little to no attention at all.
“What are our plans for after dinner?” Harry kept his voice down low as he gently hit his hand against your thigh.
“I dunno.” You shrugged. “I kinda just want to go home.”
He frowned slightly. “No ice cream? No movie? Nothing?”
You thought for a moment, then sighed. “A movie would be nice but I don’t know what’s playing.”
“What about a walk at the park? The sky’s clear.. we could look at the stars.” Even though you enjoyed doing that, you weren’t thrilled by it tonight.
“I.. I just wanna go home, Harry.. I wanna.. be somewhere.. private.” You muttered the word as quietly has you could manage.
“Alright, whatever you want to do, peach.”
You sighed softly. “Do you still wanna come over?”
He smiled. “Of course.”
Of course that made your heart flutter. You glanced down at your hands as they laid perfectly on your lap. “Can you stay the weekend?”
“Yeah, I can.”
You noticed he was leaning on you a bit, but it wasn’t an issue. You quite liked being close to him, and right now you couldn’t care less about what anyone else thought or might be assuming. You just wanted to be with him.
“Okay. We can plan something to do tomorrow night.”
He smiled, a few things popped into his mind but he figured he’d save them for a later conversation. “Sounds good.”
Austin hit Harry on the arm to get his attention. He gave you a quick sigh before shifting his attention from you. It was disappointing, but you knew it had to happen. Things were already hard to navigate in front of other people, you didn’t need to make it any worse by getting so worked up again and risk blowing your cover.
You knew that Harry would never tell anyone about what he did to you the other night, or about the kissing, but something in side of you just kept screaming about it. It was a fear that you never imagined you’d have. Just as you were about to take your phone out to distract yourself, Harry’s hand moved under the table and onto your lap. He had it laying palm up, allowing you to take it and do whatever you wanted.
A smile grew on your lips as you looked down at his fingers. They were relaxed against your palm as you cradled his big hand in yours. You thought about the feelings those fingers gave you that night - thought about how good it felt to feel them rub against you. For once the entire time, you felt that burst of energy he always created - you felt special.
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💎 𝗡𝗲𝘄 𝗶𝘁𝗲𝗺! Fragments of Chaos Wondrous item, very rare ___ When found, this necklace has 1d3 + 2 glass beads hanging from it. Each bead contains a small amount of energy from the plane of chaos. While wearing the necklace, you can use an action to wrench off one of the beads and throw it at a point that you can see within 60 feet of you. The bead shatters upon impact, and a random effect occurs, centered at that point. Each time you throw a bead, roll a d8 and use the table below to determine what effect occurs (save DC 16). | 1d8  | Effect | — | 1    | A dense thicket of trees erupts from the ground in a 20-foot-radius circle. Each creature within the area must succeed on a Dexterity saving throw or be lifted 60 feet in the air, up to the space available, as the trees ensnare it and lift it up. Medium and smaller creatures can squeeze between the trees in the thicket; such a creature also has three quarters cover against ranged attacks. The trees vanish after 1 hour. | | 2    | Shards of volcanic glass explode from the point, slicing and burning creatures within 20 feet of the point. Any creature within the area must make a Dexterity saving throw. A creature takes 5d8 slashing damage and 5d8 fire damage on a failed save, or half as much damage on a successful one. | | 3    | A roiling whirlpool replaces the ground in a 20-foot-radius circle. The whirlpool creates its own extradimensional space that’s 100 feet deep. Creatures within the area when it appears or who enter it for the first time on their turns must make a Strength saving throw. On a failed save, a creature is pulled 10 feet towards the center of the pool and 20 feet down, pulling it towards the bottom of the pool. The area of the whirlpool is also considered difficult terrain, even for creatures that have a swimming speed. The whirlpool rages for 1 hour, after which time the ground returns to normal. Any creatures within the whirlpool when it ends are shunted back to the nearest unoccupied space on the ground. | | 4    | Lightning strikes out from the... ... Continued in the comment below! ___ ✨ Patrons get huge perks! Access this and hundreds of other item cards, art files, and compendium entries when you support The Griffon's Saddlebag on Patreon for less than $10 a month!
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livinahey · 1 year
Text
Natal Luminaries (sun & moon) Obs 😼
Wealthy and famous ppl often found having luminaries in aries or scorpio
I'm sorry but libra sun > libra moon. The "libra still on your side even if they don't like u bcs they want to keep peace" stereotype is more true in libra moon
I bet every sag moon have ever been attracted to virgo moon atleast once in their life
Every leo moon always have aqua moon in their life
Gemini sun with fire moon are so fun and uplifting!!
Men with cap sun are always cool it scares me
Virgo sun and their "i'm not interested" look in their face ✋😭
Sag sun MEN do you ever interested in dating or even WOMEN????? Yall sucks when it comes to dating 😭😭 i always see them be not treating their partner right
Scorpio sun with air moon are the friend you can be crazy with without getting feel of being judged
Taurus luminaries pls stay fucking away. Yall be so NASTY to the person youre jealous of. Want to take/destroy what they have. Even be spreading fake rumours to ruin that person's reputation. Ewwww. Same goes with cancer sun
Sun conjunct moon native are so calm???
I often see libra sun being friend with pisces sun. They be enjoying eachother's company
Cap moon and their kinda ungrateful dad :( always be so demanding of their kid (the cap moon)
When it comes to synastry within luminaries, i like moon trine sun synastry the most
You'll never know what air sun with earth moon native are thinking about. Mysterious mf fr
Sun square moon native are literal hoe. I said what i said
Sun conjunct moon synastry: the sun person sometimes feel annoyed by the moon person
Somehow theres always hatred coming towards aqua moon ppl
Gemini moon are the embodiment of beauty with brain ✨ i admire this placement
Leo sun 🤝 being popularrrr no matter if they want it or not
Yall be keep saying leo sun are attention seeker. Have you ever met aqua sun?
Pisces moon be having this childlike quality to them being it their appearance or their attitude no matter what age they're in. Cute.
Cancer moon can be dating u but that doesnt mean they're into u lol. They can manipulate you, being so kind to you that makes you think they're into u. Not a good placement to get into relationship with. Most of the times they just want the fun that comes from dating. A player fr, be careful
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k-hotchoisan · 10 months
Note
Hiii love your blog ✨🫠 if it’s ok with u, can you write one where dom-San is jealous by yunho constant flirting with innocent y/n while y/n is completely oblivious to it, and when san gets with the reader he take his anger and jealousy too far and y/n uses safeword with with lots lots of after care
HI HELLO MY ANGEL IM SO SORRY THIS TOOK AWHILE BUT IM DELIVERING THIS TO U 💌
I’m also drunk on the thought that San would never hurt you on purpose,,, hehehe hope you like this one anon because it’s so teeth rotting fluff!
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Warnings/genres: smut, fluff more than smut actually, rough sex, jealousy thanks to yuyu, use of safe word (red), dom!san, unprotected sex
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There’s a lot of things to like about Choi San.
There’s the way his dimples appear when he smiles like a puppy. There’s the way his eyes turn into crescents when he’s elated. There’s the way his voice can switch between sounding like honey and then husky within an octave. There’s the way his hands roam around your body wraps around you when he gets possessive.
And then there’s the way he never felt possession so strongly before, especially when he’s staring at the way you’re giggling and hitting Yunho’s arm as he leans in and whispers something in your ear. Granted, it might have been a noisy environment, but did Yunho have to let his arms bump against your shoulders from time to time? Did he have to press his palm against your bare back when someone tried to squeeze behind you? Did he have to catch San’s gaze with the most devious expression before leaning into you once more, his lips almost touching your temple?
Fuck no of course. San takes a deep breath and swallows hard. The way you don’t even seem fazed is the cherry on top of Yunho tactlessly flirting with you.
Yunho leans into your ears again. “Your boy is here.” You perk up, turning your head to the direction where Yunho points with his head, and you see your partner with an unreadable expression on his face. You don’t pick up on it though. But your face brightens up, and San can’t help but smile back in your presence. You are about to cross over to meet him, that is, until you run right into someone, and San’s view of you is Yunho’s hands around your waist as he catches you, and you’re hugging his arm, blinking in surprise as you catch your breath.
San’s grin immediately fades.
And that’s when he realises that he doesn’t like to share.
He walks over curtly, nodding at Yunho as he has you fall right into his arms. Yunho only smirks as he gladly hands you over to your fuming lover.
You stumble to regain your balance, grabbing onto your boyfriend’s hand.
Something doesn’t feel right. You slowly glance up to meet San’s eyes and shivers climb your spine from the piercing gaze. He’s eyeing you down, like a predator wanting to corner his prey. Your throat suddenly feels too dry. San’s arms snake around your waist as he slowly leads you away.
The door slams shut, as San never lets you leave his side. He dumps you on the bed, and you blink, trying to catch your breath as your eyes soak in the way San is glaring down at you as he hastily peels his jacket off, then unbuckling his belt to remove it.
“Strip”, he demands. Your eyes glance down to his crotch purely by accident—and fuck, he’s hard. Yet at the same time, he seems so pissed. You’re racking your brains to comprehend the situation while you’re unzipping your dress. San has his gaze locked onto you, licking his lips as you’re slowly undressing before him.
Soon enough, the both of you are in your undergarments, and San’s erection is just pressing painfully against the fabric. He kneels into the bed as he crawls towards you, essentially trapping you beneath him. Before you could say anything, San has his fingers tugging against your lace panties before it’s completely removed and strewn somewhere across the bed.
“What’s gotten into you, baby?” You ask. He’s been aggressive before and it’s not anything new, but it seemed like he’s extra agitated for some reason. He’s nibbling you slightly harshly this time, and the pain dances on the surface of your skin, at times so pleasurable but this time slightly more pain than pleasant.
“You had fun acting like that around Yunho?” He hisses. You blink at him, still clueless. He sighs, and he seems almost hurt. “Guess I’ll have to remind you who your cunt belongs to.”
Before you know it, he has you pinned onto the bed. “Remember who you belong to, Angel,” he growls, his hands pressing against your throat as he jackhammers your cunt. Your vision is going hazy as San fills you up all way, but doesn’t let you adjust. Your fingers claw his shoulder the pleasure flickering in and out. Oh god, he’s fucking you so hard that you can’t even feel your legs.
“Who do you belong to, Angel?” He whispers, his voice dripping with honey despite the evident jealousy bleeding through. Your mind is too far away to answer him. His hands go from your throat to your jaw, tilting your head to face him, your eyes still glazed out. He adores that look on you so much. But he still demands an answer from you.
“Good girls answer”, San’s voice starts to echo in your ears.
“Y-yours”, you reply softly, feeling yourself squeeze against his cock.
“Can’t hear you.”
You bite your lip. The knot in your stomach is tightening, at the same time, it feels so good that it hurts.
“Yours! I’m yours, Choi San!”, you cry out, your thighs beginning to shake from how hard he’s taking you.
“That’s a good girl”, San hums, before he picks up his speed.
Your cunt spasms, and the next thing you know, your orgasm completely engulfs you, your toes curl and he’s cursing so much from how much your pussy is convulsing around him. Your words are completely stuck in your throat, only whines and whimpers leaving your lips.
But once the orgasmic high wears off, the overstimulation begins to actually hurt, and San isn’t stopping his thrusts. He still seems like he’s still seeing red—his jaw is clenched, and his grip on you is even harder.
“Red”, you manage out, despite it barely audible, but San hears it and he immediately stops. His gaze immediately softens as he pulls out of you gently and you wince a little. You see panic flash in his eyes for a spilt second.
“Fuck, was I too rough? Shit, I’m so sorry,” his voice goes down to a whisper, his hands grazing your sides as he kisses your tears away, stroking your hair gently. Your heartbeat slows down as your arms around his neck loosen slightly.
He asks again. “Are you okay?” He shifts his head to face you, trying to search for your gaze. You nod, pulling him deeper into your embrace. He draws gentle circles on your thighs, and despite the fact he knows it’s not enough for now to soothe the pain but it’s what he can do for you at the moment.
“There’s nothing going on between Yunho and I”, you finally speak, and San doesn’t reply you. But he shifts to remove his weight off your body.
“I’m sorry”, is all he says, before pressing his lips gently onto yours. “I got carried away.” He looks embarrassed now, and then upset.
His fingers interlink with yours, stroking your hand as he pulls your body closer, and he’s taking in your warmth after he pulls the sheets over both your naked bodies, snuggling up to you even more.
Your fingers play with locks of his hair, letting it tangle between your fingers.
“You dumbass”, you say after awhile. San immediately pulls back with a pout and you giggle. “You know my eyes are only for you.” He sits up quickly, which makes you confused for a spilt second. His heart is fluttering again from your words, and you see that represented by the redness of his ears, but he doesn’t shy away.
“Where are you going, babe?” You ask, watching him walking to the bathroom.
“Drawing a bath for us. I’ll massage your thighs too. Be right back! I love you!”
You feel the warmth flood your heart and cheeks.
“I love you, too.”
623 notes · View notes
mamayan · 1 year
Note
Humbly requesting Yobai with Giyuu (he goes to reader), a lil bit of yandere spice appreciated ✨👀
For you Desi? Anything ♡ This man makes me love the color blue~
★YOBAI☆
Giyuu Tomioka x Fem! Reader
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tw: Obsessive/Possessive Themes • Oral (F) • Fingering (F) • Light Overstimulation • Rough Sex • Light Breath Play • Fluff/Humor
YOBAI Series: Kyojuro, Sanemi, Obanai/Mitsuri
Idea given by @rottmntrulesall and continuously inspired by @desi-the-blue-eyed-kakushi ♡
“I love you.”
He had been too stunned to reply, left frozen like a fool, unable to truly fathom those three simple words. He understood what they meant, but oddly his brain just couldn’t fathom how it factored in him.
You loved him? He wanted to ask you why first and foremost. It left him reeling, because did you mean you loved him like a friend? Did you only love him like family?
Did you love him like a man?
He was moving aimlessly, arms crossed as he stalked the residential streets near his home. His face set in its familiar stoic default, hiding his inner turmoil as his legs carry him down another set of homes.
He’s hardly paying any attention, only reacting to the voice which calls out in the quiet night.
“Tomioka-san? Are you out on a mission?” Colors clash as Giyuu comes face to face with the flame pillar Kyojuro Rengoku.
The man was dressed casually, holding what appeared to be confectioneries from a local shop boxed up in one hand. His gaze was friendly and curious as ever, smile as warm as its owner.
That’s right, Giyuu thought, the flame Hashira had gotten himself engaged had he not? He must have some sort of knowledge of this unfamiliar unfurling within his chest.
It was driving him nearly mad, the way your voice seemed to echo that single sentence on repeat.
“Rengoku-san… you’re experienced in love?” The water pillar’s question struck something weirdly familiar in Kyojuro, as Giyuu moved closer. The dark haired young man looked tired; which, coupled with his expressionless face only aided in aging his appearance.
“Haha! Yes! I am getting married soon!” His boisterous laugh grates on Giyuu’s ears, but he grits his teeth and endures for the sake of figuring all this out.
“Y/N said she loved me…” if Kyojuro hadn’t known the gloomy man for so many years, he might’ve thought Giyuu was scared in the admission.
The flame Hashira just wanted to go home and eat the sweets he bought with his fiancé, not have this conversation in front of his house. His lip twitched, but smile remained as he cautiously prodded further.
“And…?” His smile dropped at Giyuu’s blank face.
“What?” His eye twitched.
“Tomioka-san… did you say anything back?” Kyojuro felt a pang of pity for you as Giyuu shook his head, lips set in a firm line.
“So you just rejected her?” Giyuu’s eyes widened.
“I didn’t reject her…?”
“You did though Tomioka-san.”
Kyojuro wanted to go home, but a strange moral obligation kept him speaking, and for a moment he wondered if his family gave off matchmaker energy.
He’d speak with his father later, for now he focused on aiding his social awkward comrade as quickly as possible.
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He felt further conflicted after speaking with Rengoku.
So he spent his free time following you, his thoughts consumed by you, fighting the pull he felt. This couldn’t possibly be healthy or normal, you shouldn’t haunt even his dreams. You respected his space, but every hopeful glance you sent his way sent him spiraling further.
Why did you need to be so lovely? So hard working and dedicated, you spent your days busy and helpful. Giyuu never truly realized how busy a Kakushi’s day could be, but it was possible it was just you.
Were you overworking yourself?
Did you eat breakfast this morning?
You sneeze cutely.
He likes how you laugh.
Your eyes glitter when you see the notes he begins anonymously leaving you, searching anywhere and everywhere, yet never seeing him from his perch in the trees. He likes the game he starts of cat and mouse, amusing himself watching you struggle to figure it out.
You’re quite the detective though, finally bringing out a simple note to show Kocho who recognizes his script.
He still doesn’t reveal himself, avoiding your growing awareness.
He enjoys spending his free time watching over you, dancing around your confession, until someone new appears in your little world.
A male demon slayer, around his own age, asking you on a date.
A romantic one. The sort which leads to engagement and marriage. He nearly pulled his blade, a boiling rage bubbling up and over his top, red flashing through his gaze.
You declined, polite and kind as always, but it didn’t matter. That man spoke to you because Giyuu hadn’t claimed you.
You were his weren’t you? You said you loved him.
Giyuu grit his teeth, face distorted even now as you returned to work and the day faded into night.
Even training was useless, his mind conjuring up images of you with someone else, smiling and directing that soft gaze on them.
His blade came down again, body covered in sweat as he huffs in exhaustion.
It still wasn’t enough. He was trembling from his own emotions attempting to claw through his chest.
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He was tired of feeling regret.
The thought of “if I’d only been stronger, arrived sooner, said something” plaguing him until he stood outside your home.
In the middle of the night.
The moon hung as a crescent shining down, surrounded by a sea of stars.
He hadn’t changed out of his uniform, sword still attached to his hip as he moved forward. Gravel crunched under his sandals.
It seemed the closer he got to you, the more agitated he felt.
His hands shaking when he reached the front door, fist clenched and hand raised as if to knock. He froze, realization dawning on how this might look to any nosy neighbors who might be passing by. He slipped around back, away from sight and instead using a side entrance into your home that was left unlocked.
That fact made him uncomfortable as he moved forward on silent feet, his shoes left neatly by the door as he explored in search of your bedroom.
His chest continuing to itch with frustration until he slid the last shoji back to reveal a simple small room. A futon laid in the center where a bundle laid under the covers.
You looked serene, tucked sweetly away in bed and dreaming of something nice if the small smile on your lips was any indication.
He sighed, sitting down beside your bed with one foot propped up to lean on, looking down at you while you dozed.
Almost an hour passed before he grew impatient again, memories of today still on repeat as he tries to calm himself by just looking at you.
Except he didn’t just want to look anymore, he didn’t want to only observe and tease from afar. He wanted to hold you, speak to you, touch you.
He stood silently, taking off his sword and leaning it against your back wall, moving again to stand over your futon where you laid curled in the middle like a sleeping cat. Completely ignorant to his inner turmoil as he kneels before crawling completely over you.
That’s what you awake to, the figure of Giyuu Tomioka looming over you while you slept.
You startle, not immediately recognizing him in your half dreaming state, mouth opening to speak before a hand gently but firmly covers it.
“Don’t scream,” they weren’t very comforting words, your eyes widening fearfully and trying to adjust to the dark room, but it’s the voice which gives your panic pause.
“I just…” he didn’t know what he needed, because it clearly wasn’t just to see or merely touch you anymore. “I wanted to ask if you meant it… back then.” He was grateful the room was dark, his face feeling hot despite the cool air surrounding him.
You weren’t struggling or fighting him, seeming to have realized who he was already. Giyuu released his hold over your mouth, taking in your pretty features painted by dim moonlight with your eyes trained on him.
“I did mean it,” your voice cute and slurred as you sleepily answer, curious and less afraid now that you know who paid you a nightly visit.
Was he here for…? The thought seemed ridiculous, because Giyuu always struck you as a bit reserved, but why else would he be here in the middle of the night asking you about your confession?
You were still tired, but it helped dispel any nerves which might’ve been present had the sun been up. You let your arms raise slowly, as if it might scare the fearsome demon slayer, and wrapped them around his neck.
It pulled him in a little closer, and you could make out his features a little better like this.
His breath stuck in his throat, enamored by your close proximity, your soft sweet scent, and your words.
You meant it.
You wanted him, and while he was overcome with the urge to self-sabotage his happiness and remind you of his flaws, he was stopped by you leaning up.
Your kiss was feather light, just grazing his own for a split second before pulling away.
He chased you though, his own slotting against yours this time, but the force and pressure has you gasping so he could slip his tongue inside your mouth.
You whined but he devoured it as he pushed the hot muscle around with your own, lighting you with the same passion he was feeling.
He let some of his weight drop, pinning you to prevent you from wiggling away from him, letting his thigh spread your own so he could slot himself in between.
Your yukata was in disarray, so when Giyuu’s groin pressed against your own it was only his pants separating him from your sex.
The feeling of something hard and thick pressing against your slick heat had you moaning, fabric sliding and creating delicious friction against your hooded nub. Shocks of pleasure jolted up your skin, but it was Giyuu’s own groan and pause that disrupted the kiss.
He realized there was nothing beneath your sleepwear, your soft thighs naked up to your stomach, and his own body hiding your slit from his view.
You caught your breath, watching as Giyuu lifted up and moved down your body, fingers quickly digging into the plush flesh of your inner thighs when they tried to close.
“Keep them open.” His eyes are narrowed on the expression of arousal and embarrassment you wear, lips titling up a bit as he smooths his hands down to your ass. “Be good for me,” you nearly choke when he says the words, but you really do when his tongue flicks out right over your puffy clit. Fingers dig into the futon while your eyes lock with his own, ensnared by the lewd show he makes of flattening his tongue and dragging it up slowly through your folds, adding pressure when he feels your legs start to shake.
His languid licks grow more fervent by the minute, his own desperation hastening his movements to lap and suck at your clit, before dropping down to prod your entrance with the tip. Your hips jerk, back arching as you grind against his face, slick coating his lips and chin as he eats you like a man starved.
“G-Giyuu, fuck, please,” it takes him a a moment to realize you used his first name, but when he does he nearly swears aloud.
Grunting when he feels your fingers tangle in his dark hair, Giyuu moves his hand around to press a finger against your tight hole, his tongue not stopping his assault on your throbbing nub. He watches you as he sinks his middle finger inside, the way you twitch and whine, lips parted and eyes heavy lidded as you pant.
Giyuu moans as he sinks deeper inside you, the snug fit around even just one finger as your feverish gummy insides massaged it had his hips rutting into the futon below.
He can tell you’re close, it’s not difficult with the way you buck and pull him closer as he adds a second finger, beginning to stretch you out and pump now.
Giyuu curls his fingers, watching it light you up as you cry out, pretty cunt grinding down and trying to seek even more friction as you tremble and moan.
He’d be a liar if he said it didn’t boost his ego.
It’s when a third finger begins to squeeze into your snug walls that you jerk back, his hand wrapped around your thigh and anchoring your hip keeping you from going anywhere though.
He pauses his movements as you pant, looking at your scrunched features as you adjust to the tiny sting.
“You’re being so good for me,” he praises, slowly sinking three of his thick calloused fingers inside of you, “so lovely and all mine, aren’t you?” His voice has dropped an octave as he lazily pumps his digits, soaked by your arousal and sliding in easier and easier as you relax.
Only when your brows unfurl does he smirk and kiss your inner thigh, sticking his tongue out and dragging it against your skin back to the little bundle of nerves.
The feeling of being so full and his tongue just softly tracing over your clit sends you over the edge.
“I-I’m—hah,” your head falls back as the first wave washes over you, gentle but building. The wet squelching of Giyuu still licking and fucking his fingers into you getting louder, as you realize with a shaky inhale that he’s not stopping.
“Giyuu…!” He tightens his grip, brows furrowing as you break his concentration, intent on absolutely devouring you. You might’ve came but he’s not done with your swollen bud or leaking slit, his fingers leaving your entrance in favor of wiggling the powerful muscle in his mouth inside you. Your core spams around it, cries growing as you nearly rip strands of his hair out in your desperation for relief from his mouth. You can’t break his grip on you, the next orgasm striking you like a slap as you cum.
“Mhn—!” Your burning eyes finally blur as tears spill, the ache inside you releasing as pleasure clouds your mind into oblivion.
Giyuu only stops when your shaking subsides, lessening his ministrations as you come down from your second high.
He doesn’t realize it’s him shaking until your muscles go lax and limp in his hold, his hands trembling with restraint as he drags himself back up to look down at your blissed out face.
It’s so cute it nearly enrages him, his hands quickly taking off his haori and uniform, yanking at fabric aggressively as he tries to free his painfully hard cock from the confines of his clothes.
You’re still catching your breath, blinking your blurry vision away only to see Giyuu’s naked torso draping over you as he unties your belt and fully opens your yukata.
Your eyes have fully adjusted now, able to clearly see his toned pale skin on display. Scars littered his pretty skin, hard planes of muscle a testament to his devotion as a slayer, but his steely gaze isn’t cool like the water breathing he uses. Those dark blue pools are boiling as he looks at your soft nude figure, hands quick to grasp your hips and slide up to your chest.
“I’m the only one who gets to see you like this…” his solemn and possessive tone have goosebumps erupting on your skin. The feel of his hands are rough as they trail and dance across your breasts, two fingers coming together to pinch harshly at your nipple, pulling a huffed squeak from your lips as you pout up at him.
He smiles at you.
Not a half smirk or tiny twitch of his lip, but a warm smile filled with adoration, and it leaves you vulnerable for his next attack.
He plants one forearm just above your head, leaning close for a searing slow kiss that was downright filthy in how he lewdly moaned into your mouth. The deep sound reverberating into you as you melt further beneath him.
You’re distracted, boneless legs easily pried further open for his hips as he slides closer to you, his free hand letting the reddened soft tip of his cock brush through your soaked lower lips.
You jolt at the sensation, the heat of his body taking you by surprise, but his mouth follows when you pull back, biting down on your lower lip and licking the sting away when you whine.
Then you feel pressure, at first odd but not painful. Giyuu huffs against your mouth as your walls crush the tip of his cock as he pushes in.
“Relax for me, let me in,” he’s fighting hard not to just shove entirely inside you in one thrust. Your warm and soft body leaving his head muddled as he pulls out, before pushing in again, working himself deeper inch by inch.
Your clammy palms find his biceps, fingers digging into the hard muscle as you try to obey and relax for him, but you can’t help when you clamp down with the feeling of being invaded by his burning rod continually shoving into you. He wasn’t outright painfully thick, but his length far surpassed his fingers as his cock pushed your limits before he was fully seated inside, tip pushing up your cervix to fit completely while your legs trembled and tensed around him.
“Y/N,” you didn’t mean to close your eyes, just consumed with concentrating on getting used to him, when a large palm cupped your cheek and encouraged you to look up. Your eyes widen at the sight of him, flushed and heaving for breath just from feeling you squeeze around him, brows taunt as he gazes at you with those softening eyes.
“Am I hurting you?” You shake your head, because it didn’t hurt, he was just stretching you out so much it was leaving you reeling.
He seemed to understand as he chuckles, kissing your temple as his hips slowly drag out of you, each vein on his cock rubbing in his exit. Your nails bite deeper into his skin, your exhale of breath sharp before he shifted and nudged a new spot that made you moan.
“There?” He’s not actually asking you. Not when he sinks back in, watching your every expression while gauging where that spot was.
He brushes it with his tip, the spongey area making you clench and slacken in the same moment, toes curling as the thickness inside seems almost unbearable before feeling so good your own hips rock up to meet his thrust.
“You’re so tight,” his hair has come loose from the ponytail he keeps it in, thick strands tickling your collarbone where they drop, his shoulder muscles taunt with pent up energy as he begins a steady pace inside of you, letting your slick glide him into your narrow hole. His eyes flicking up and drinking in the almost drunk expression on your pretty face, adoring how you both seemed to fit together like puzzle pieces.
“G-Giyuu,” your panting little moans are speeding up with his thrusts, the room becoming sweltering as your bodies collide, his groin coming flush against your ass with each loud smack of his balls. His hand tangles in the blanket below, gripping the fabric as he concentrates on not filling you up carelessly. His free hand moves up your hip where he’d been holding you, brushing over your sensitive nipples teasingly before gently wrapping around your throat.
One of your hands wrap around his wrist, cautious and curious of why he was holding you like this, but not fighting when he lightly squeezes the sides of your throat.
“Oh,” you moan, voice a little hoarse and softer than usual as you feel your head go light and airy while the intense pleasure inside of you spikes. His cock spearing and bullying your insides as he groans, your pussy only becoming tighter as he restricts your blood flow lightly, watching your fucked out face in fascination. His own isn’t any better but you’re not paying attention, only caring about the bubble expanding inside your belly again, his cock threatening to pop it at any second, his lower half soaked in your slick as it slides down your ass and onto the futon.
“Are you going to cum for me?” His expression is nearly pained as he restraints himself, smirking as you senselessly babble something incoherent but your nails scrape sharply over his skin and help clear his mind. He shifts even closer, forcing himself to hunch over you while he releases your throat and grips under your knees.
You cry out as he lifts your legs up, pressing your knees almost to your collarbone while he drills your cunt, his feet digging into the futon below as he has you in a mating press. His nose nearly brushes yours, so close but far as he grunts and slams into you, the new angle increasing the tightness, your walls milking him while he fucks you stupid.
“Fuck—m’gonna cum, Giyuu!” Your eyes roll back, insides clamping down and seizing around him while you gush, cream forming around the base of his cock while he pants, teeth grit while he focuses on drawing out your release as long as he can. “N-no more, please!” You nearly wail as his cock overstimulates you, still brushing against that spot inside that has you seeing white.
He takes mercy this time, pulling out so quickly your hole is left gaping for a moment as he sits back and grips his cock and works himself fiercely over you, grunting and biting down on his lip while his balls draw up tight and he shoots ropes of hot cum over your dripping pussy and lower belly. Using his tip to smear it over your swollen lips as he groans.
You watch quietly, body still thrumming with euphoria from your orgasm as Giyuu finishes too, looking ruined as he finishes on you before nearly collapsing too.
He lets himself fall to his side, one arm reaching out and dragging you against him despite both your sweaty figures. He holds you tightly while you both calm, your heartbeat slowing as exhaustion takes hold and your eyes droop.
As a Hashira, he’s quick to recover, and while he could certainly stand to take you two or three more times, he instead relishes in the feel of holding you against him so intimately.
You’re asleep in minutes, breathing even as you doze against his chest.
He closes his eyes, letting his forehead drop against the crown of your head, whispering quietly what you fell asleep too quickly to hear.
“I love you too…” he’ll say it again when you wake.
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“Thank you,” Kyojuro looks up from the training dummy he’d just destroyed, gaze landing with surprise on the water Hashira standing awkwardly before him, not looking at him.
Giyuu stood with his arms crossed staring off into the distance, reminding Kyojuro of an old man with the sort of serene gaze only the elderly possessed.
“Ah! You’re welcome haha! You took my advice?” His bright eyes widened, quite shocked in truth.
Giyuu merely nodded, turning to walk away having said his gratitude now.
Kyojuro didn’t stop him, still amazed his half-assed terrible advice had actually worked. Unlike his younger brother who was quite beloved and well known by the corps, Kyojuro could care less about Giyuu’s emotional constipation.
He’d told him to stop being a coward and act like a man.
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You never did find out that Giyuu’s “night crawling” act was in fact just his strange way of coming to tell you his feelings before he could talk himself out of it and lose you to another.
Your kiss just initiated what he’d been holding back. ♡
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Giyuu’s face whenever he sees that other slayer who tried to ask you out.
Post dividers/ @saradika
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