#'But you have to understand that he had a very terrible childhood.' Every single one of his kids has had an inarguably worse childhood.

[thecruellestmonth]

Normal Batman fans: I don't want to engage with parts of canon in which my fave is an abusive asshole. I choose to engage with other stories instead, and I ignore stories that I dislike.

Nasty toxic Batman fans: Ooh, Bruce is being totally gross again, don't mind if I do~

Good Dad Bruce™ stans: Yes, I fully acknowledge that every single one of Bruce's kids is deeply—at times suicidally—traumatized by his parenting failures in canon, but he is NOT a bad parent! Bruce LOVES his family. Sometimes COMPLICATED PARENTS make their children feel WORTHLESS and ISOLATED, and then don't do anything to fix it! It's totally NATURAL, Bruce is just a COMPLICATED parent! He's COMPLICATED! Bruce LOVES his family. COMPLICATED, I say! NOT ABUSIVE! Would an abusive parent put a hand on his child's shoulder in a vague display of warmth once every few years??? Hm??? Yeah, I DIDN'T THINK SO, YOU STUPID ABUSE VICTIMS!! Bruce LOVES his family. He does nice things—why are you ignoring all the nice things that he's done? He is just an IMPERFECT person, he has made some teeny tiny mistakes repeatedly with 5+ separately acquired children over a twenty-year period. Bruce is just a regular IMPERFECT human being—which means that you critics are the UNREASONABLE MONSTERS imposing PERFECTIONIST standards on a poor innocent middle-aged baby adult man! Bruce LOVES his family. How could we expect exceptionally privileged hyperintelligent parents NOT to regularly use their position of power to make 4-6 children feel inadequate, unsafe, and alone?? What ridiculously high standards! Bruce LOVES his family.

[saltwatergirl6]

Good morning, a request please from Percy x reader (siblings, not romance) How does Percy react if he discovers that he has a younger twin?His sister was stolen as a baby and grew up in Camp Half-Blood,What will Sally do when she sees her daughter again after so long?

saludos desde la cabaña 3 🐬🐙

faraway reflections

pairing: percy jackson x jackson!reader (platonic)

a/n: i absolutely love this request, i hope it’s something you actually enjoy. 🤍

wc: 1.6k

the lord of the sky has made many mistakes in his godly immortal life, especially one of them always stood out. the name of the mistake was

thalia grace.

after the second world war, the oath of not having demigod children has been made and has not been broken for decades, the children were terribly powerful and caused trouble to the universe multiple times, so not having them was the only solution to cause less destruction and war.

zeus was the first to break the oath, for which he received quite the backlash from his elder brothers, hades and poseidon. meaning that his demigod child (which he didn’t have much care for) was constantly in danger by the two major gods.

but turns out that poseidon was next, when he met a woman who changed him for the better, breaking the oath didn’t seem to be much of a problem for him.

but there wasn’t one demigod child.

there was two.

twins, a girl and a boy, which caused much more problems than one could have.

the king of olympus didn’t take this lightly, he decided to get his revenge by doing the worst, separating the twins, but poseidon insisted on keeping the younger twin alive, but the punishment was to sally jackson, the woman poseidon fell in love with.

sally never got to know her daughter, it was told that she didn’t make it, only her son did.

but she was very much alive and safe, in camp half-blood.

when percy turned 12, the monsters started appearing more often, which meant that it was time for him to finally visit the place that sally has tried to keep him from, camp half-blood.

——————————————————————————

there weren’t many greek demigod children who didn’t have a childhood or some sort of time outside camp half-blood, but you were a special coincidence.

you were basically born and raised in camp half-blood, without a clue on who any of your parents were.

when you got to the age where you could understand such a devastating story, chiron told you that your mother died in childbirth and your father was unknown to everyone.

the guilt you carried was not something an ordinary 12 year old girl should’ve experienced, but like the brave girl you were, you sucked it up, not wanting to show a single sign of weakness to the ares kids who have despised you for quite a while.

percy jackson always wondered what life would be like if his twin sister had survived, if he had someone who was experiencing the same thing as him, life would’ve been so much easier for him.

poseidon, lord of the sea, the earthshaker, the mighty major god has never experienced such guilt in his life. some might say gods are absent of any emotion, but being alive for such a long time has made it much easier to hide their emotions well.

but seeing his little girl silently cry in the hermes cabin every night has broken his heart.

but everything changed the night that sally, percy and grover were driving to long island.

“wait so, my dad is like, one of those guys you told me about? like a greek god?” percy asked curiously, still not believing it.

neither sally or grover answered anymore.

“uh, i don’t think i’m supposed to say this because a certain god might zap me to death, but i have something big to confess.” grover randomly blurted out.

“today can not get crazier, so go ahead.” percy answered, still freaked out about how much has happened that day.

“so percy had a twin sister, right?”

“uh, how do you know that?” percy asked.

“she’s alive, i think.” grover said, trying to form sentences so the bomb he just dropped on the mother and son wouldn’t sound as crazy.

sally stopped the car, grover and percy hit their heads to the backseat.

“excuse me?!” sally yelled out.

“her name is y/n, the only thing chiron actually told me about her is that her last name is jackson and she’s 12 years old, she has been at camp like since birth, i think. ms jackson, keep driving, please.” grover explained, casually.

shock was written on sally jackson’s face, she decided not to say anything, maybe this girl was a coincidence, her baby girl couldn’t be alive, she was gone, but a spark of hope was planted in sally’s heart, her dreams of not losing her daughter were somewhat possible again.

that was before she got turned into dust in the hands of the minotaur.

_______________________________________________

percy woke up into a random room with a lot of beds in it, the room had the aura of the sun, somehow, everything was decorated in warm tones, except for the comforting light blue sheets on every bed, a girl was standing in the doorway, staring at him.

she had the same black hair as him, her sea green eyes were focused on his, she looked like him.

she slowly walked up to him.

suddenly every memory flashed all at once, greek gods, long island, grover being half-a-donkey, the minotaur, his mother.

oh, and his sister being apparently alive.

“hey, i’m y/n.” you said softly, in a comforting voice, instantly calming him down.

“where am i?” percy asked, confused.

“camp half-blood’s infirmary, wait, did your satyr fill you in on this place?” you asked, slightly worried that you’d scare him away.

“the whole olympian god thing? kind of, yeah.” percy responded, it still felt like a fever dream, and the fact that he was talking to his twin sister for the first time in his entire life didn’t make it easier.

“i’m sorry about your mom, by the way.” you looked at him with genuine support in your eyes.

“our mom.” percy corrected.

“what do you mean?”

“i’m your brother, percy jackson.” percy said, extending his hand for you to shake, he felt bad to drop this all on you, but you had to find out from him, not from anyone else.

“that-, that’s not possible, i don’t have a brother, i don’t have a family, no one.” you were in denial, after 12 years, without a sign of family, this was gonna happen? it wasn’t possible.

“i’m sorry you had to find out this way, but you had to know somehow, grover told me about you being alone for all these years, it isn’t fair to you.” percy flashed a smile to you, but your sweet reunion was interrupted by chiron, camp half-blood’s activities director and your best friend, annabeth chase.

“good morning, percy, i see you’ve met your sister.” chiron said, in a casual voice, as if this whole thing wasn’t the craziest thing you’ve heard in your entire crazy life.

“mr brunner, what? you’re a horse.” right. percy was new here, he had no clue, you remembered that right now.

“a centaur, my boy, you can call me chiron.” he corrected, not feeling offended at all. “now, i think you two should sit down for this.”

______________________________________________

a few days have passed, you and percy have gotten claimed at the same time after bullying clarisse and her brothers just like she had tried to bully you two in capture the flag. it was slightly sad that percy had gotten claimed within the first week of being here, but you had to wait your whole life.

it all fell into pieces, poseidon was your father and now you were going on a quest, because apparently you and your brother stole the most powerful weapon in the universe.

maybe zeus should’ve hid it better? besides, you were never known to be sneaky.

______________________________________________

after the most exhausting summer of your 12 years of life, you were going home.

you never had a place to call home, aside from camp half-blood, you didn’t have your mother waiting for you to come back from summer camp, but now you do.

your mother, sally jackson, saved herself from the underworld, she was probably just as amazing as percy and your father, (who you finally spoke to, by the way) described her to be.

it was never in your nature to be mad at someone for long, so you quickly understood your father’s reasonings on why you were cast out of your family, even though the beginning of your life wasn’t great, percy promised to make it better in the future, with a welcoming family and no smelly gabe. (he was quite jealous that you never got to experience life with smelly gabe.)

“are you sure she’ll like me? what if she thinks i’m too weird to be her daughter, i mean… dad called her a queen.” you ask for the millionth time, feeling doubtful as you waited by thalia’s tree.

everyone knew thalia grace’s story, the brave hero who sacrificed herself for her friends, who still protected every demigod even if she was dead, even though some didn’t admit it, everyone aspired to be what thalia was, a true hero.

maybe our definition of heroes were a completely different thing, but thalia still was someone to remember.

_______________________________________________

there she was, your mother, the woman who gave birth to you, standing with the sweetest smile you’ve ever seen.

you couldn’t help but tear up and by the looks of it, she couldn’t either.

“my baby.” she said softly as she pulled you into a tight hug, like if she let go, you’d get lost again.

“hey mom.” you whispered.

“uh, guys, i’m here too.” you laughed, a genuine, happy laugh escaped your mouth.

you were ready for this. a new life, even with all those dangerous quests coming up, you knew you’d be way more powerful with your family, a loving mother and the most amazing (annoying) brother you could ask for.

[mysteryshoptls]

SSR Lilia Vanrouge Dorm Uniform Personal Story: Part 3

"I'm a pro!"

(Part 1) (Part 2) Part 3

[Diasomnia Dorm – Lilia's Room]

Silver: Father. Has the bat had its dinner?

Lilia: I gave him a larger meal for lunch, so it'll be fine if dinner's a little delayed.

Silver: Is that… right…!?

Lilia: Yep, that's right!

[Courtyard]

Sebek: Lilia-sama! It seems that bat is unable to get down from the apple tree.

Lilia: Oooh. I was wondering where it had gotten to.

Lilia: …Hm? Wait, no, I must have left it there when I took a rest on that branch earlier.

Lilia: And yet it just stayed hanging there. I guess it hasn't recovered well enough to go flying off on its own yet.

Sebek: If that is the case, I shall go rescue…

Lilia: No need, I'm sure it's good training for the little guy. Leave it there for now.

Sebek: Eeh!? B-But it would be dangerous if it were to fall…

Lilia: There's grass underneath, right? It won't be no serious matter. If it happens to get hurt, we just have to heal it again!

Sebek: Silver…

Sebek: I may have gained respect for you for the first time just now.

[Diasomnia Dorm - Malleus's Room]

Malleus: It seems I lost track of time while reading, it's gotten quite late. I suppose I should go lie down… Hm?

[door closes]

Malleus: That sound… It seems someone has left their room. The only one I can think of who would be awake at this time would be…

[Diasomnia Dorm – Lounge]

Malleus: Ah, as I thought, Lilia.

Lilia: Ho, Malleus. You're up quite late.

Malleus: As are you. Oh, and I see the bat is with you.

Lilia: That's right. It's because this little one's wing has completely healed.

Lilia: I'm about to take it outside.

Lilia: Isn't that right, little one? It's all thanks to my tender nurturing that you're all okay. You can go ahead and thank me.

Malleus: I'm not sure about "tender nurturing"…

Malleus: It felt like I was observing Silver's hectic childhood days all over again.

Malleus: …This must be what people mean when they use the term "nostalgic."

Lilia: Back then, every single day was an absolute whirlwind.

Lilia: Oh yes, there was one time when Silver slipped out of his cradle when we were napping in the park.

Lilia: "He'll come back eventually," I thought to myself, and just sat around waiting…

Lilia: But when the Zigvolt family arrived with their own children to play in the park, they scolded me terribly.

Lilia: "A normal child won't come home by itself!" they shouted, so very angrily.

Lilia: I searched all over the city… And yet I couldn't find him at all.

Malleus: I heard that at the end of all that, Sebek's family found and watched over Silver.

Lilia: Yes. I cannot thank them enough.

Lilia: And that includes appreciating them for sternly asking me, "Can you really raise a child when you're like this?"

Lilia: I'm sure they truly cared for Silver as if he were their own child…

Lilia: After that, every time I inevitably needed to leave our home, they insisted on taking care of Silver.

Lilia: They often watched over him until Silver was old enough to stay at home by himself.

Malleus: To have him to disappear like that… I can understand why Sebek's parents would worry deeply about him.

Lilia: When that happened, I also was truly ashamed.

Lilia: …But you know, Malleus. I have taken this role of child-rearing very seriously, in my own way.

Lilia: It is the same now as it was been, nothing has changed.

Lilia: It's not always the case that there would be someone by your side to extend a kind, helping hand.

Lilia: If you go out into the world, there may be days that you must go to sleep hungry, without a satisfying meal.

Lilia: There may also be days in which you will experience failure, or encounter setbacks, which could cause you to lose heart.

Lilia: And yet, for as long as we're alive, there will be moments in which one must stand and face their troubles on their own.

Lilia: Not once, not twice, but many times over. …They must learn to handle those dour circumstances while they are still under their parent's protection.

Malleus: So, everything you had done up until now followed that method of thinking? I suppose when you say it that way…

Malleus: This bat that you cared for looks as if it will thrive wonderfully in the wild.

Lilia: Kufufu, doesn't it just? You can keep praising me, if you'd like.

Malleus: …You were heading out to release the bat, were you not? I'll join you.

Malleus: …What a beautiful full moon.

Lilia: Yes. This night sky is perfect for the beginning of its journey.

[flutter, flutter, flutter]

[Diasomnia Dorm]

Malleus: This sound… Look, Lilia. I see a cauldron of bats flying above us.

Lilia: Must be this little one's friends. We cannot let this chance pass us by.

Lilia: Come, don't keep clutching onto my hand forever. Hurry and fly, go on.

Malleus: …Heh, it seems to really like you. It doesn't want to part from you at all.

Lilia: Oh, bother. There is this super high-level quest I need to tackle on my online game right after this.

Lilia: I cannot have you keep me here forever. Go on, hurry and get.

[shakes arm vigorously]

Lilia: So you're going to stick to me, even after I shake my arm like so… Good gracious. I don't recall raising you to be so spoiled.

Lilia: No matter the creature, there will come a time that they will have to decide for themselves.

Lilia: Don't miss this chance to leave. This is it.

[flutter, flutter]

Malleus: …Ah. It flew off.

Lilia: You did it～! Don't fall to the ground anymore, alright～～?

Lilia: …Oh, it was able to rejoin its colony. So this quest has been cleared ♪

Malleus: Indeed. But still, you're quite the stern one, Lilia. I was not expecting you to forcefully shake off that bat who had grown so attached to you.

Malleus: Were you pretending to not care so much for it, so as to not let it be left behind by its flock?

Lilia: What are you saying? Like I said earlier, right after this, I have that super high-level quest…

Lilia: Ah!!

Lilia: If I keep standing around here, I'll be late to meet Gloomy Samurai at our promised time!

Lilia: Malleus, I'm heading back to my room! Don't stay up too late!!!

Malleus: There he goes. He's really not the type to give any sort of lingering goodbyes.

Malleus: Hearing his stories, I always thought he was simply being careless while child-rearing…

Malleus: Yet in the end, when it comes to Lilia, everything may just be all due to his lax personality.

Malleus: What a complicated one he is.

(Part 1) (Part 2) Part 3

[deargravity]

obsessed with hajun because he is so loveable but also deeply unlikeable. which is... literally the charm of his character. he's slightly strange and incredibly elusive and undoubtedly morally questionable but no less human. he's sharp-tongued and insensitive at times, but he's clearly trying to be gentler, and a little more aware in his manner when it's necessary. (congratulations on the cognitive empathy, hajun, i'm sure you'll put it to good use.) i like that his moment of vulnerability didn't soften him up but he's learned to be honest with the people he loves. i know hajun is very much in his senses when he does something wrong, makes someone uncomfortable / embarrassed but i also don't think he'd appreciate his actions being moralised. at the end of the day, he wants to be seen, known and understood for who he really is but he's afraid of baring himself that way. he doesn't want to be an open wound, his childhood home was not forgiving enough for him to express any kind of injury. i suppose he thinks, "if i am to be abandoned, i'd rather be abandoned like a house on fire, not a sick dog. something malicious, unsympathetic and worth remembering, if not possible to return to." he's kind of twisted like that, and it's endearing to me (unfortunately).

we don't know much about his childhood in the yeon household (he did move to japan all by himself when he was 13 - which is a whole another can of worms to unpack because can you imagine having to independently build a life at that age in a new country, learn a new language and stand on your feet after being thrown out by your family? can you blame hajun for being a razor-sharp hazard to society? his childhood was pitiless, the city was even more so, no wonder hajun's only constant companions were his isolation and the fangs he had to grow to survive.) but i'll make a reasonable inference based on dongha's experience. we see hajun as he is now, with his cold, precise anger but we also see dongha's wet, thrashing rage that hasn't realised its purpose or target yet. dongha is the closest we have to understanding the extent of the yeon's family cruelty. dongha is everything hajun would have been if he'd still been his parent's son, hajun is everything dongha could be if he leaves behind his family. which is still insane, if you think about it. and i think about it constantly.

the self-made cynic, as they say. i like that he's disarming, unsettling, insincere, insensitive, sadistic, self-serving, cunning manipulative etc. whatever people want to say about him, but i also like that he's his truest self with allen and anne, and doesn't plan on changing that. the world be damned, they are the only ones that matter because they've looked him in the eye without flinching or turning away. like... BAE are so everything...

anyways, i hope he continues to be perceived exactly as terrible as he pretends to be, and i hope the writers leave his beautiful, skewed moral compass intact because i love every single reprehensible act he commits. (for his next trick though, i hope he uncovers something to launch a billion-dollar lawsuit against yeon conglomerate and sink them into bankruptcy.) i hope he continues to cook for allen and anne, i hope he stays fiercely committed to protecting them and caring for them, because clearly everyone else is nothing and if there is one thing he has faith in, it's the family he chose for himself, the family that chose him right back.

hajun and his quiet, precise rage. hajun and the childhood he had to bury so he could evolve to survive in a bigger, crueller world. the childhood that taught him to be afraid, and the adulthood that hasn't quite unlearned it just yet, but baby steps. something about hajun and i get mean when i'm nervous like a bad dog. something about anne and allen embodying tell me every terrible thing you did and let me love you anyway, and hajun taking the risk of believing it. and taking the risk every morning until he doesn't forget. hajun and i am not brave enough to look those who love me in the eye. hajun and it's not a conscience that assures morality, it's the resolve to be a better person to people you care about.

but we can't unpack all this right now. if you suffered through all that and are still here, i hope you have a good day.

[buckrecs]

Ik you have a best friends dad but How about a dbf

DBF!Bucky

masterlist | req masterlist

tbh i didn’t like dbf bucky before but now …. 😎

Also this is going to be under smut category cuz almost every single one is smut.😏

ONESHOT

unattainable by @heavysoldat

Bucky has a cure for the reader’s terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad day.

saltwater kisses by @jurassicbarnes

In which he whisks you away on a romantic getaway at his beach house.

Almost Caught by @loveaffaire

Too Young To Love You by @sinner-as-saint

You come home from uni to spend the holidays with your parents. And you find out that your feelings for a certain man named Bucky hasn’t died out completely yet. One look at him and the sparks and butterflies came to life again. However, there are a couple of issues which stand in the way. First, Bucky’s twice your age. And second, he’s your dad’s best friend.

What Goes Around by @navybrat817

Bucky is your friend's dad and your dad's friend and nothing more. Until he isn't.

3 Weeks Waiting by @alwaysf0rev3r

you’ve been hooking up with your dad’s best friend for months, but you accidentally ghosted him during finals week. saying he’s desperate is an understatement.

just between us by @mellowsaturns

you and bucky have a little moment in your bathroom at your family’s brunch.

jade green daydream by @nexusnyx

touch my soul from outside by @buckycuddlebuddy

your father’s best friend, who happens to be your secret boyfriend, knows exactly how to love on you.

vanilla by @buckycuddlebuddy

his scent was the other thing that made you go stupid other than his eyes: leather, a bit of vanilla, oranges and wet wood.

hash brown, egg yolk by @wndalovebot

alone with you by @classylo

quarantining with your dads best friend doesn’t sound like the worst thing in the world. too bad it also forces you to realize some things… ;)

SERIES

the warmth of winter by @captainsimagines

You’re home for the holidays after landing your dream job. When your dad’s old army friend stops by for the month, he makes waves immediately. Your little vacation is disrupted… for better or for worse? Nobody has to know.

the warmth of the future by @/captainsimagines

It’s been two years since you fell in love with Bucky Barnes, and the holidays are just around the corner. With even more love, more friends, and more family in attendance, you and Bucky fully intend to enjoy these days with as little drama as possible. But that’s not always the case with a relationship like yours, is it?

A Taste for Older Men by @seventven

y/n is moving back in with her parents after breaking up with her college boyfriend. due to an emergency at work, y/n’s dad is unable to pick her up and sends his friend bucky in his stead. to bucky’s surprise, y/n is no longer the innocent girl he remembers from years back.

Peaches by @buckycuddlebuddy

what they were doing was wrong, both of them knew that. it had to be kept as a secret. not everyone would understand what they have, she knew that much. they’d look at them and see an older man misleading a girl so much younger than him. it wasn’t the thing, though. that had never been the thing. it wasn’t misleading, taking advantage ─whatever they called their situation. it was love. forbidden, not-society-friendly, but love. 

just checking in by @wandalovebot

safe and sound by @witchywithwhiskey

you're alone at your parents' summer cottage with your dad's best friend bucky barnes when a thunderstorm strikes in the middle of the night and the childhood fear that has followed you into adulthood rears its head—so all you can do is ask bucky if you can sleep with him.

masterlist by @metalbuckaroo

masterlist by @bucksfucks

masterlist by @goldenjo

masterlist by @becca-e-barnes

masterlist by @anchoeritic

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[marunalu]

don't understand why people think afo possibly having a bad childhood would cheapen his character, he grew up during a time where everything was chaos and people were going insnae. it's not too far fetched to think he's a had a bad past and doesn't lessen any evil he does now. it's a little annoying when you suggest that he probably has had something bad happen to him when he was younger and people get mad at you saying let villains be villains.

Absolutely agree!

I think the main reason why people dont want afo to have a terrible past is because they dont want to sympathy with him! They want to hate him and they know a sad backstory could change their view of him. I mean look at tomura: at first pretty much all of the readers hated his guts or at least thought he is an terrible excuse of a villain, because how whiny, spoiled and bratty he is! But then we got his past flashbacks and BAMM all of a sudden he was everyones favorite character and even wanted him to succeed in his goal of destroying everything! Feeling sorry for someone is the main reason why people are ready to start to make excuses for that persons behavior, no matter how horrible their actions are. The thing is a villains backstory is there to explain why he ended up that way and NOT to make excuses for him!

Lets face it: tomura, dabi, toga, spinner etc. are all HORRIBLE people! They are terrorists and massmurderers. Thats a fact! No sane person in real life would want to interact with them or accept their reasonings. The reason why readers are ready to forgive them their crimes and want a happy ending for them is because its fiction and we know their backstorys and what they went through during their childhood. All of them are MURDERERS of innocents, but they are also lost, lonely and traumatized children who need help and therapy! And I think deep down people are aware that its the same or similar case with afo, because thats how hori writes his main villains. They are complex and complicated characters. Hori made very early clear that afo is not pure evil, because in yoichis flashbacks we hear him say that he loves his brother and in the recent chapters this is even more confirmed when we see afo crying (most likely shortly after yoichis death) when he is about to kill 2th. Pure evil doesnt love! Pure evil doesnt cry, after they lost a family member! And I think its pissing people off. They dont want afo to be turned into someone they pity and sympathize with, because of what he did to tomura, to some degree to dabi and other horrible things (turning people into nomous), despite that every single member of the lov is a horrible person too from a realistic point of view!

Afo already showed clear signs of suffering from past trauma himself, for example his unhealthy obsession with his "the only family I have" brother. We dont have the full context yet what actually happend in their past, but we know that afo was there when the "dawn of quirks" happend. He was there from the start. We know it was full chaos! From one day to the other the world turned upside down. It was violent! It was bloody! People startet to kill each other out of the blue! Know picture how horrifying this apocalyptical world must have been for two young boys! Espicially for the older one, who has to take care for the younger, sickly brother and wants to shield him from the horrors of that world! The fact that afo mentions that yoichi was the only family he had, makes clear that there were no parents or guardians to take care of them. In a world in which people startet all of a sudden to kill each other, because they developed scary powers. Afo shows clear abandonment issues (his unwillingness of yoichi leaving him and rather locking him inside a vault like a treasure and his obsession with getting ofa back) and I believe its because the brothers either lost their parents pretty early in life or they lived in an abusive househould and when afo showed first signs of a quirk, the parents kicked them out. All in all I believe afo was the one "raising" yoichi (at least as good as he could in that time) and made a lot of sacrifices to make sure his younger brother stays safe and gets enough to eat and evtl. medication.

A while ago I watched the disney movie encanto and I think the lyrics of the song "pressure" are perfect for how I picture afos life was back then. Everything he did was for his brother, he wanted to make order for his brother, to bring peace even if it meant he had to do nasty things to archive that. But then his brother was gone and afo lost his main motivation for wanting to change the world to the better. I think its interesting how afo never refers to himself as a villain while yoichi was still alive, in fact he trys to lay the blame on others and that his hands are clean ("they did it on their own, I never ordered them to do it"), but after yoichis death he has no problem anymore to call himself a villain. But why? Well, yoichi was "kidnapped" by two heroes, right? Afo locked him into a vault for his own safety, but this two dumb heroes showed up and took him away from him and what was the end result? They motivated yoichi even more to live after his heroic ideals and that got him (most likely) killed! The heroes killed his brother (thats what he is telling himself) and what is the opposite of the hero?

The villain!

So afo rather wants to be seen as a villain, because its the opposite of what killed his brother. This is of course mainly my own speculation, but I think its clear that afo is a by FAR more complex character then readers give him credit for, because they arent ready to accept that! Complexity doesnt cheapen a character. It flashs them out and hits home that just one bad day can destroy your life, your future and turning you into someone you never planned to become. No matter what happened in afos past it doesnt change the fact that he is a horrible man now, it just explains he wasnt born that way, because no one is born evil! Evil is born by circumstances!

[studentinpursuitofclouds]

bc we were briefly talking abt bugs…

i like the idea of lance protecting the farmer from bugs without hesitation if they ever went into the mutant bug lair together. Especially if they’re afraid. lance actually doesn’t mind the bugs too much

but isaac on the other hand is just as disturbed by them as the farmer. scared even. corrupted serpents flying at him trying to kill him ? big deal who cares, he can handle it. but slimy gross buzzing bugs flying at him trying to kill him ??

Eyyyy, good headcanon 😃

Lance is, in my opinion, a wildlife lover, used to all kinds of wildlife, so insects don't bother him at all. Sure, he'd destroy beetles and maggots that had been corrupted by dark magic without any problem, but it's not as if he had such a strong aversion to them. At most, just a slight irritation when a bug soils on his cloak or white shirt.

He will not, by the way, judge or laugh at the Farmer if they are afraid of these bugs. After all, mother nature's creatures can be... really frightening and repulsive sometimes. And kindly conjure up a magical barrier for the Farmer that won't let a single bug touch them. At the same time he will still try to help them to cope with their fear, because if Farmer finds themself alone with such an enemy - and the situation can be very deplorable.

Isaac, on the other hand.... Hmm, he's not afraid of dangerous giant snakes, Fallen adventurers, mummies and purple slimes he slashes with his sword almost daily. But every man has a weak spot, and every man has something that terribly afraid of. He may indeed have a fear of monster bugs and all insects in general. Why? The theories are many: an unpleasant moment/trauma in his childhood that left its imprint, an allergic reaction to bugs monster bites, or the fact that in ancient times people feared and avoided insects because their bites could be fatal. Either way - the fear is there.

One could understand a very young adventurers or even a Farmer who has just embarked on the dangerous path of fighting monsters, but a battle-hardened adventurer from the Castle Village who encounters creatures a hundred times more dangerous than the maggots and flies in the Mines? But like I said - everyone has their weaknesses.

I also like to think that Isaac purposely doesn't go to those Mines levels with insects, justifying it by saying "they're so weak and pathetic, so it's not worth wasting his precious time". But if fate (or Marlon's request/Camilla's order) forces him to go there, he'll still kill them, but with his face pale and a scream just stuck in his chest.

And that, my dears, is why this little bitch Isaac works alone.

(I also made a meme. Thank you Bunny for inspiration 😁)

[thevindicativevordan]

For all Seasons?

Overrated and like most Loeb books, primarily carried by the art.

Totally understandable given it is an absolutely gorgeous book. Rereading it took my breath away at every single spread, to the point I was sorely tempted to get the Absolute just for the art. Sale nails every single location, he can evoke Norman Rockwell with Smallville and then you turn the page and he's depicting Metropolis as the Art Deco wonderland of adventure it should be. Bjarne Hansen's coloring perfectly sets the tone for each of the seasons: bright spring, upbeat summer, melancholic fall, and then a gloomy winter that gives way to spring once more. On art, few are the names which can match these guys.

Great as the art is the writing is very basic. Clark is a good if simple lad who wants to help people because his salt of the Earth farmer folk raised him right. He reaches adulthood and realizes he doesn't want to spend his entire life in Smallville - choosing to leave after confessing his secret to Lana. After a period of adventures as Superman in Metropolis -where he earns the attraction of Lois and the enmity of Lex - someone dies while helping him save Metropolis which makes Clark depressed and pushes him to run back to Smallville. He and Lana reunite, she helps him rediscover his confidence, he saves Smallville from a flood and moves back to Metropolis. That is the entire plot and it's as barebones as the summary reads.

There's a few interesting bits that don't go anywhere: Clark remarking that Metropolis doesn't feel like home but Smallville doesn't anymore either is relatable to me. That part of growing up hits hard for anyone who has moved out of their parents' house and then returns to their childhood home for a visit. Pete chewing Clark and Lana out for getting the opportunity to leave Smallville that he always wanted, only to run back with their tails between their legs was nice. For All Seasons is my first time finding Pete interesting and I wish he had gotten his own issue where we see his perspective on Smallville. Everyone else waxes on about the town's greatness but that clearly is not how Pete feels, and a chance to see him express his view to contrast with the rest might have spiced things up. Ma and Pa offer the usual cliché cornfed wisdom if you like that sort of thing.

Characterization wise, Clark barely gets any? Since he doesn't get to narrate any sections of the book, we're stuck seeing him through other peoples eyes. He's nice, strong, principled, and has his head stuck up his ass. "Basic" is the best way to put it, he lacks the nuance or depth of other portrayals. A few good moments stand out, my favorite is when he cheekily escorts Lex's helicopter back to Lexcorp Tower after Lex has been arrested, that was funny and I wish we got more of that. It's not a terrible take, but I've read better elsewhere. Could just as easily see someone reading this and walking away thinking Superman is boring as I could see them reading this and coming away a fan. Probably the most damning thing I can say is that the "real" Clark is the most boring of the three identities. Metropolis Clark has an underrated sense of dry humor, Superman has a "friendly neighborhood hero" vibe that makes him endearing, but the "real" Clark in Smallville comes across as a dope who is always in need of simplistic advice, and walks through life with a wide-eyed puppy dog look that makes him feel stupid. Just doesn't come across as very bright in his "real" self.

Lois is... ok. Cast in the mold of the Byrne Post-Crisis model where she was sucking up to Lex Luthor until Superman came along and she switched to pursuing him. The feistiness and dedication to the story are there at least, and I do love how Sale draws her. But the only moment with Lois that I actually rate highly is the one where she's snooping through Clark's belongings, assumes the "L.L." he's talking about in a letter to his parents refers to her, and when Clark catches her she tries to gaslight him into thinking she's doing him a favor. Hilarious moment, but Lana honestly comes across more as Clark's great love here. She's the one he's thinking of even years after they last saw each other, she plays a critical part in pushing him to become Superman in the first place albeit indirectly, and at shakes him out of his funk when he's at his lowest. If this was one of the definitive works for Post-Crisis Superman, I finally kind of get why some writers preferred Lana over Lois.

Lex is lame as hell. Diet Kingpin indeed, his plan is underwhelming to put it mildly. He's not smart enough to create a virus himself so he has to hire someone else to do it for him? Not muh Lex. Knocking the entire city out just to set up one person dying on Superman's watch because that will make Superman quit is stupid not smart. Supes does recognize that Lex is probably responsible for the virus, that he doesn't immediately suspect Lex set up this woman to die just to screw with him feeds into what I said about this Supes sometimes being a dope. Pa gives him a pep talk regarding this that boils down to "sometimes you're going to fail" and yeah no shit. A grown ass man needs to hear that from his dad because Lex telling him he sucks and should quit is enough to get him to flee back home after one failure? Feud between the two of them here feels like an old man seething about the damn kid on his lawn rather than a titanic battle between Men of Tomorrow who each have their own idea of the future.

If I only got to recommend five books to win someone over to liking Superman, this wouldn't be one of them. It's fine, if you want a Superman book that makes you feel wholesome inside then go ahead. If you want to see Tim Sale absolutely knock you on your ass with great art, definitely check this out. For someone who thinks Superman is boring? I don't think this is going to convince very many otherwise.

[dimonds456]

hi guys.

MASSIVE CW/TW for medical misconduct, strong language, disability, talk of Death and dying, transphobia / enbyphobia, and personal drama below the cut. I genuinely have no clue what to do anymore.

Also no, this isn't gonna be me asking for money or anything. I'm fine there. It's literally everything else that's the problem.

also long post.

Okay, I'm terrified and I don't know what to do or who to talk to. I keep forgetting to call my doctor, and I'm also actively trying to find a new, different doctor, but every single site to do that is either down or inaccessible as fuck. He won't answer me on the website that's supposed to let you get in touch with your doctor, and as far as I know there's no way to report him for anything he's doing to me.

I have a paper trail now and will be calling him Dr K, since he refers to himself like that in one of the screenshots I have.

For a bit of backstory, I have Graves Disease. Fucking love the name, great choice. Graves Disease is a sub-genre of hyperthyroidism, a typically genetic disease in which your thyroid- a butterfly-shaped gland located at the front of the throat that regulates your metabolism- starts over-producing hormones and doesn't stop. I've had it since middle school.

Here they are in all their glory. For context on how bad this shit can get, my RESTING heart rate BPM was around 100. When I started running around, it got up OVER 200. THAT'S ENOUGH TO GIVE SOMEONE A HEART ATTACK. I was in middle school at the time, so adjust for how much smaller my body was, but STILL. Still terrible numbers, and I was literally in grave danger by the time I got treated.

(wow i love that its called graves disease haha such a funny name WHO NAMED THIS DISEASE I JUST WANNA FUCKING TALK)

So, since I'm 20, it's safe to assume I have the lifelong/chronic variant at this point (it festered for at least 6 months before I started getting treatment, and though it has gotten a bit better with time, not by much).

I don't care if I have to be on meds forever, that's not the problem. The problem is everything else.

Enter my two doctors, Dr M and Dr K.

Dr M was first, he was my childhood doctor and he's the one who originally started treating me. I don't remember much about him, just that he frustrated me constantly because he never listened. I'd tell him that my symptoms got worse after he lowered my dosage, and instead of talking to me about that, he'd point at a chart full of numbers that I don't understand and say "well your numbers look good so." and then proceed to continue lowering my dosage again until it because obvious to him that I was telling the truth, in which he'd up my dosage.

Now, as a kid, I was very much not outspoken. I still am not. I've never been very pushy about anything and always let people walk all over me, so I only really ever got listened to when the "numbers" started to reflect what I was saying. And yeah, my self-confidence it a whole other conversation and I do need to work on that, but also... part of being a doctor is to listen to your patient, right? So no matter how quiet or afraid I was, I should still have been heard out and treated like a person and not a goddamn statistic.

Then, I turned 18. I had until I was 19 to find an "adult" doctor, and Dr M kept seeing me until that could happen. But I had no idea how the fuck to do that. And no one explained it to me. I needed to be sat down and shown exactly how to do it step-by-step, but that never happened. I never got the help I needed.

April 7th, 2022, I turned 19 years old. Time was up, and I still didn't have a different doctor. I had no clue where to start.

I was living on my own now. I had an apartment I'd been staying in for a little less than a year, had a terrible home life with my roommates, had a 3rd shift 10 and a half-hour job + college, and no new doctor. I got one last prescription refill from Dr M, and then that was it. I wasn't allowed to see him anymore.

I kept putting off finding a new doctor because I was preoccupied with The Horrors™, something else that traumatized me last year that lasted from November 2021 to late October 2022. It went on for a literal year and I still haven't recovered from it at all, but again, that's a whole other can of worms that I cannot open yet. But the point is that I was in the mental warzone at the time, and just... never thought about a new doctor.

July 2022.

My 3 months of prescription were over. I was on the wrong dosage, and my symptoms were flaring up. BAD. And I still didn't have a doctor. Time to panic. I don't remember what happened, but my dad was able to help me find a doctor named Dr K, and we set up an appointment- 3 days before the last of my meds would have run out.

I just had to make it til then, then everything would be okay, right? I wasn't going to die- I wasn't going to die. I had to hold onto that. i wasn't going to die.

I saw him, he was able to get me on proper meds, and my dosage was upped from half a pill twice a day to 2 pills twice a day. MUCH better, it helped a lot. Thank fuck, I'm not going to die.

I thought that, maybe, finally, I got a doctor who would listen. But he doesn't. He fucking doesn't. He does the exact same thing as Dr M and only looks at "the numbers" and doesn't listen to what I'm telling him.

Fast forward to now. I am still processing The Horrors™, have (C?)PTSD, I have a new eating disorder that not even the doctors are sure wtf it is (might be ARFID? But they genuinely have no idea, I'm in a weird grey area, so THAT'S comforting), I have new weakness in my legs and arms that they don't know how that got there, I've fallen 3 times, and Graves Disease gave me an eye disease that can make me go blind if untreated. Awesome.

...Dr K still isn't listening.

My most recent appointment with him was last month, when I went to get a normal follow-up. Apparently they forgot to do labs for his stuff and just did them for my eating disorder, so he doesn't really have much to go off of in terms of "the numbers" and I'm the one who takes the blame for it, not the labwork people who forgot to take my labs while I was there getting labs. Fine. Whatever.

I tell him about my symptoms flaring back up, and he continues going on about my "numbers". Points at a graph I can't read. "Your numbers look fine." What does that mean? Idk, he didn't tell me.

During that visit, he brought up with me that I want to have top surgery. I say yes, and then he starts going off about how I need to start HRT before they can do the surgery. I ask why, and he tells me that it's just how they do things. I have to be on HRT for at least 6 months before I can get the surgery I want.

Now, I am transmasc (nonbinary). I am not against HRT, but it's not something I'm sure I want yet. I tell him as such, and he then states that "well since you're still confused, you should talk to a therapist first and then we'll go from there." BITCH I'M NOT CONFUSED. I JUST DON'T WANT HRT RIGHT NOW. I have 50 other medical problems to worry about, I'm not in a good position to start it even IF I WANTED TO. WHICH I DO NOT. I just know I want the surgery! That's it!

I tell him as such, and he keeps insisting that I'm just confused in what I want and basically said that I'm not trans enough to warrant a surgery if I don't want HRT.

Great. Well, now I'm pissed.

Two days later, I hopped onto a Discord server and asked if I was right in thinking that what he said was wrong, and everyone agreed that yeah, what he told me was fucked up. I even brought this up with my parents, who- although they do support me as an individual- are mildly transphobic, and even THEY agreed that what he told me was fucked up. I should not be FORCED into anything like that because I'm "not trans enough," that's BULLSHIT.

Anyway. At the end of my original visit with him, he sent me to get the labwork done same-day and then told me he would update me with what we were going to do.

Last Thursday, August 3rd, I got a phone call saying that he was canceling my prescription altogether.

My meds, which- as a reminder- SAVED ME FROM DYING LAST YEAR, which I know for a FACT I need to live since I was on death's doorstep just for being on the wrong dosage of these meds- yeah fuck em. You don't need them. "Your numbers are good."

The goal has been to ween me off. Slowly but surely reduce my pills a little at a time to slowly ween my body off the medication. I'm taking 30 mg a day. THIS IS NOT WEENING.

Now, I do make a comment I'm not proud of in the following screenshot, but the context is that I had already asked what the numbers meant and got brushed aside for it, both as a kid AND a teenager. I am now 20. So, of course, the "I'm not a kid anymore" thing pops up here, like the fucking cliche that I am. But I have not edited these screenshots except to blot out my picture. I refuse to edit them, just so it's crystal clear the BULLSHIT I'm dealing with.

I went onto the website and sent my doctor some questions, because I was rightfully afraid of what would happen if I suddenly couldn't take medication that I need to live. And the answer I got? Well, look.

I just took these screenshots as I was making this post.

Yeah, so ignoring the "I'm not a kid anymore" comment (I knew I would regret writing that and I did it anyway, go me), I feel like I was professional and careful with my wording here, right? I asked each question and explained why I was asking in-depth in hope of answers. And, I numbered those questions to ensure all 4 got addressed. And all I got was MORE questions.

And he never answered. That was August 7th. It's the 10th now. And I'm suffering. My symptoms are coming back more and more each day, and I've been trying desperately to ween myself off of meds so it's not the literal sudden change that he wants for my body. And also like, I'm sorry but am I reading this right? WHAT THE FUCK DOES "NORMAL HYPERTHYROIDISM RANGE" MEAN?? DO YOU WANT ME TO GET WORSE? RESET ME BACK TO ZERO? UNDO ALL THE PROGRESS I'VE MADE? CUZ ITS WORKING.

Sitting here writing this, my thyroid hurts. I can feel the swelling going up. You can hold it between two fingers now. I'm in pain when you tug on it in a certain direction, which used to be a comforting motion of mine. My resting BPM is going back up fast, the swelling behind my eyes is getting worse (which, again, COULD MAKE ME GO BLIND), and I was super reliant on my cane for balance today, not just the weakness in my knee/hip region that I'd been using it for. I'm getting worse FAST.

I am no stranger to Death. Honestly, my relationship with Death has gone from fearful to almost friendly over time. I feel like we know each other well, they and I. After nearly drowning at age 7, I feel like we've built a pretty uncommonly close relationship with each other. I've looked into the void, it looked back, shook its head and told me to try again. Many times. Not many other people can say that.

Death has given me many chances. I keep getting lucky. But, y'know, after dancing with Death for the majority of my life and being visited by them at least twice a year at this point, you'd think I'd start to figure out the steps to keep up with them, right? Well, you underestimate my ability to dance, ever. All it takes is a touch, and Death will have me.

"Just get a new doctor!" I still don't know how, and when I want to try? The website was down (which isn't the same website as the one I use to talk to Dr K, it's a completely different site).

"Call the office and keep calling them until you get answers!" A) phone calls are scary, B) the nurses aren't going to have the answers I need, only the doctors will, and C) you can't just call your doctor, not in this fucking day and age. If I want an appointment, I gotta book it out by months.

This morning, all I had was a half a pill. I'm running low on meds, and I'm trying to take them only as needed, and with as little as possible, to preserve them for as long as I can. But with all this happening, I... I want to take another half, but that would do more harm in the end than good since I'd have less for later. My dad suggested a Tylenol, since my throat is inflamed and that might make the swelling go down (but it wouldn't address the issue in that my thyroid is making far more hormones than it should be). So now I have to choose.

I had a panic attack over this earlier. I looked up to pick up a box from a tall shelf and fell backwards- the same thing that finally convinced my parents that something might actually have been wrong with me and got me to see a doctor 6 months too late originally. Only difference is that there's no broken plate this time. All I did was look up and I stumbled backwards into the wall.

I don't want to die. Oh, stars, I don't want to die. But they're not going to refill my prescription, and I'm 86% sure my doctor is doing this on purpose because of the trans thing (you could hear it in his tone, but that's not really proof of anything). He won't explain himself, and then proceeded to ignore me when I asked for answers. I need a new doctor, but I don't know how to get one, and the website is STILL DOWN.

I'm fucked. I'm actually fucked.

Death has been kind to me before. I just have to trust that they'll be kind to me again. And I know personifying something like Death is fucking stupid but it's all I have left at this point.

I don't want to die, stars I don't. Been there done that. I just want to feel okay. I just want to feel safe. But in this body, I'll never feel safe. My Graves will never go away, and my throat is closing up what with the inflamation, and I'm in pain, and my eyes hurt, and my eating disorder keeps taking more and more away from me, and I could barely make it through fucking mini golf earlier, so how the fuck am I going to go back to work like this?! They're going to fire me, and then what? Do I just lay down and die?! Let it happen? Because if THIS is all my life is going to be, fighting just for the right to be alive from the people who are SUPPOSED to be helping me STAY alive, then what is the fucking point?!

I should clarify; I am not suicidal. I DON'T WANT TO DIE. I just want to feel okay. Please, stars, that's all I want. I just want to feel safe. I just want to feel loved. I just want to feel happy. I just want to feel like it all meant something, that I can push through and use my own suffering to lift others up so they don't have to suffer like I did. The point is to ease other's suffering as much as I can. That's all I've ever wanted. But all I do is bring others down with me, because of things that are out of my control.

i'm tired. i'm hot. i'm hungry. i can't eat. i'm angry. i'm emotionless. i'm exhausted. i'm cold. i feel sick. i'm in pain. i'm numb. i just want it to be over. i want to push through. i want to give in. i want it all to stop. i want to feel safe.

...I'm gonna try the Tylenol. I can't afford to take any more of my meds.

hah, i'm like doug from portal. save em for the end times.

I just... what if my dad is right and this is all in my head? Like, it's fucking not, I can FEEL the inflamation getting bigger both on my skin and in my throat, but... what if? What if all of this is just anxiety? What if this is all just a result of my trauma from last year? fuck man, idk. i need help, and not even my therapist knows how to give it to me. i'm lost. i don't know who to talk to or who can help me.

im sorry. I'm still going to try to make as positive an impact as I can while I'm still here, but... stars, I just don't know how much time I have.

If you made it this far, take a second and count your blessings, okay? Take the time to wave to friendly faces of your past, remember things you did and people you've met. Remember your favorite childhood bookseries, or your favorite TV show. Appreciate the people closest to you. Hug your pet. Hug your siblings. Send your guardians a text appreciating them for the good memories they've given you, if you can.

Breathe. You're alive. Somehow, someway... you're alive. And isn't that wonderful? To defy the very nature of science that we still don't understand, to plant your feet on the ground and go "no, I'm here and I am alive and I live for myself"? That's incredible.

I'm alive, too. By stars I'm alive. And I'm not gonna go anywhere until I'm forced from this earth kicking and screaming. And I'm gonna try my goddamn best to make sure that every day is as good as it can be, for everyone around me. For myself.

Fuck it, we only have so much time. We gotta make the best of it, eh? Good memories. I want to go thinking about good memories. Laughter. Friends.

Maybe that could be enough.

[fragmentsofmymindinwords]

ART HEIST, BABY! readers, bear with me. This is why I think Francesca, by Hozier, could absolutely have been written about ahb. Please read this🫶🏻

Major spoilers alert!

Do you think I'd give up

That this might've shook the love from me

Or that I was on the brink?

How could you think, darling, I'd scare so easily?

To me, this is James after the incident with Remus being there just to bring Sirius to the heist. When Regulus is absolutely sure that James hates him and that he had lost him, but James keeps going to his bedroom every single night, even when he's furious at Regulus, and doesn't abandon him even after he's done a terrible thing

Now that it's done

There's not one thing that I would change

My life was a storm, since I was born

How could I fear any hurricane?

This is very Regulus to me. The storm part, kind of. His and Sirius' childhoods were completely different, filled with danger and expectations far beyond acceptable for children. And them having to hide their preferences because they couldn't be anything different than what their parents wanted them too. I this being Regulus talking to Sirius. Sirius ran away and dedicated his entire life to trying to get Regulus to quit doing heists, because if the danger. But that was all Regulus knew. He wasn't afraid of them, because he didn't know anything else, and, at least in the beginning, he didn't have much to lose, and he'd already lost so much.

If someone asked me at the end

I'll tell them put me back in it

Darling, I would do it again, ah, ah

If I could hold you for a minute

Darling, I'd go through it again, ah, ah

Now, this SCREAMS Jegulus. Even at the end. Even after Regulus had died, James didn't regret any of it, because it was all worth it to have been able to meet and to love Regulus. And I'm sure he'd do it all again, just to hold him for a minute more. And Regulus would have done it all again, even die at such a young age, just to hold James again.

I would still be surprised I could find you, darling

In any life

If I could hold you for a minute

Darling, I would do it again, ah, ah

Do I even need to explain this one??? The ending??? Them meeting in every single fucking lifetime??? They'll always fing each other, in every single life

For all that was said

Of where we'd end up at the end of it

When the heart would cease

Ours never knew peace

What good would it be on the far side of things?

I feel like this bit is about the Black brothers. They really never knew peace. They couldn't have. And Regulus didn't really understand why he should be on the far side of things. Not the way Sirius did.

It was too soon

When that part of you was ripped away

A grip taking hold

Like a cancer that grows

Each piece of your body that it takes

I feel like this is a bit about how Regulus was the part of James and of Barty and Evan, and Sirius, that was ripped away too soon. And I feel like the parts of the body that it takes would be James' entire body being covered in memories of Regulus touching him, kissing him, just all a reminder of him. And also how Regulus did that whole thing in Paris, where he'd kiss James in front of works of art so that'd he'd always think of him.

I would not change it each time (I would not change it each time)

Heaven is not fit to house a love (Heaven is not fit to house a love)

Like you and I (like you and I)

Again, this is Jegulus. Regulus was always so sure that he was a bad person, he saw him in shades of grey and not colorful, like James did. I just feel like they'd be happy to go to hell, if they were to go together, and James did first want the job because he was seeking the thrill. They weren't on "the right side of things". They were criminals. So I think that explains why Heaven is not fit to house a love like theirs.

[rphelperblog]

The Giver Book Quote Rp Meme

feel to edit or change pronouns for purposes

“The worst part of holding the memories is not the pain. It's the loneliness of it. Memories need to be shared.”

“Didn't life consist of the things you did each day?” 

“We gained control of many things. But we had to let go of others.” 

“It's the choosing that's important, isn't it?” 

“I feel sorry for anyone who is in a place where he feels strange and stupid.” 

“They can't help it. They know nothing” 

“Life here is so orderly, so predictable-so painless. It's what they've chosen.” 

“I'm going to give you the memory of a rainbow.” 

“But there was nothing left to do but continue” 

“When people have the freedom to choose, they choose wrong, every single time.” 

“It's just that... without the memories it's all meaningless.” 

“If everything's the same, then there aren't any choices! I want to wake up in the morning and decide things!” 

“memories are forever.”

“And here in this room, I re-experience the memories again and again it is how wisdom comes and how we shape our future.” 

“What if they were allowed to choose their own mate? And chose wrong?” 

“Thank you for your childhood.” 

“There was just a moment when things weren't quite the same, weren't quite as they had always been through the long friendship” 

“Of course they needed to care. It was the meaning of everything.” 

“I like the feeling of love.”

“Today is declared an unscheduled holiday.” 

'I did like the light they made. And the warmth.” 

“They have never known pain. The realization made him feel desperately lonely.” 

“If he had stayed, he would have starved in other ways.” 

“The life where nothing was ever unexpected. Or inconvenient. Or unusual. The life without colour, pain or past.” 

“If you were to be lost in the river, your memories would not be lost with you. Memories are forever.” 

“The worse part of holding the memories is not the pain. It's the loneliness of it. Memories need to be shared.” 

'I do understand that it wouldn't work very well. And that it's much better to be organized the way we are now. I can see that it was a dangerous way to live.'

“They were satisfied with their lives which had none of the vibrance his own was taking on. And he was angry at himself, that he could not change that for them.” 

“It was simply a marking of time with no meaningful changes.” 

“You may lie.” 

“Even trained for years as they all had been in precision of language, what words could you use which would give another the experience of sunshine?” 

“Frightened meant that deep, sickening feeling of something terrible about to happen.” 

"There could be love,"

“There was never any comfortable way to mention or discuss one's successes without breaking the rule against bragging, even if one didn't mean to.” 

“even though I don’t even know him. I feel sorry for anyone who is in a place where he feels strange and stupid.” 

“I knew that there had been times in the past-terrible times-when people had destroyed others in haste,in fear, and had brought about their own destruction” 

“I don't know what you mean when you say 'the whole world' or 'generations before him.'I thought there was only us. I thought there was only now.” 

“For all for children to whom we entrust the future” 

Precision of language, please!"

“He wept because he was afraid now that he could not save him. He no longer cared about himself” 

"And of course our community can't function smoothly if people don't use precise language. You could ask, 'Do you enjoy me?' The answer is 'Yes,'"

“All of it was new to him. After a life of Sameness and predictability, he was awed by the surprises that lay beyond each curve of the road.” 

"I have great honor. So will you. But you will find that that is not the same as power.” 

t to you all the memories I have within me. Memories of the past.” 

“Depth, he decided; as if one were looking into the clear water of the river, down to the bottom, where things might lurk which hadn't been discovered yet.” 

“He saw nothing except the endless ribbon of road unfolding in twisting narrow curves.” 

“Why do you and I have to hold these memories?" 

"It gives us wisdom," 

“And apples were always, always red.” 

“The life where nothing was ever unexpected. Or inconvenient. Or unusual. The life without color, pain, or past.” 

“I have great honor. So will you. But you will find that that is not the same as power.” 

“each change, painful though some of them will be, will make us a little better than we were before.” 

“If everything’s the same, then there aren’t any choices! I want to wake up in the morning and decide things!” 

“If he had stayed, he would have starved in other ways. He would have lived a life hungry for feelings, for color, for love.” 

“Birthmother was an important job, if lacking in prestige.” 

“Of course they needed to care. It was the meaning of everything. “

“But they don't want change. Life here is so orderly, so predictable-so painless. It's what they've chosen.” 

“Suddenly he was aware with certainty and joy that below, ahead, they were waiting for him; and that they were waiting, too, for the baby.” 

“It was so - oh, I wish language were more precise! The red was so beautiful!” 

“But each time a child opens a book, he pushes open the gate that separates him from Elsewhere.” 

“Our people made that choice, the choice to go to Sameness. Before my time, before the previous time, back and back and back. We relinquished color when we relinquished sunshine and did away with differences.”

“We gained control of many things. But we had to let go of others.” 

“The important thing is that another medium—stage, film, music—doesn’t obliterate a book. The movie is here now, on a big screen, with stars and costumes and a score. But the book hasn’t gone away. It has simply grown up, grown larger, and begun to glisten in a new way.” 

“life where nothing was ever unexpected. Or inconvenient. Or unusual. The life without color, pain, or past.” 

“A lot of people I know would hate that ending, but not me. I loved it. Mainly because I got to make the book happy. I decided they made it. They made it to the past. I decided the past was our world, and the future was their world. It was parallel worlds.” 

“What if they had all been instructed: You may lie?” 

“thank you for your childhood.” 

“There’s much more. There’s all that goes beyond—all that is Elsewhere—and all that goes back, and back, and back. I received all of those, when I was selected. And here in this room, all alone, I re-experience them again and again. It is how wisdom comes. And how we shape our future.”

It was a word and concept new to him.”

'I did like the light they made. And the warmth.” 

“his school lessons had been unusually” 

“Release was not the same as Loss.” 

“life where nothing was ever unexpected. Or inconvenient. Or unusual. The life without color, pain, or past.” 

“disoriented. It was our house. He had stood on a porch and taken the snapshot through a window. I recognized the fireplace and its graceful mantel. And the chandelier! We had dined each evening at seven, the family together, discussing our day—we could have” 

“No one mentioned such things; it was not a rule, but was considered rude to call attention to things that were unsettling or different about individuals.” 

“His thoughts seemed to be elsewhere, and his eyes were very troubled.”

“We relinquished color when we relinquished sunshine and did away with differences. {...} We gained control of many things. But we had to let go of others.”

“For a contributing citizen to be released from the community was a final decision, a terrible punishment, an overwhelming statement of failure.” 

“I have great honor. So will you. But you will find that that is not the same as power.” 

“The exemption from rudeness startled him. Reading it again, however, he realized that it didn't compel him to be rude; it simply allowed him the option” 

“It wasn’t a practical thing, so it became obsolete when we went to Sameness.” 

“When he spoke, a new spurt of blood drenched the coarse cloth across his chest and sleeve.” 

[bireggiemantle]

Very vague but do you have any queer rvd head cannons? Like characters you head cannon as queer or things to do with queer ships?

I think every single rvd character w the exception of like hal is queer but here are some more specific headcanons I have about that :)

- reggie and sweet pea briefly had a fling during the time skip but it didn't work out bc reggie didn't want the same level of commitment that sweet pea needed (similar to the fallout of his and josie's relationship)

- reggie realized he was bi pretty soon after highschool. it was nothing life altering or dramatic, he's always kind of thought guys were hot, he's just never focused on that much before.

- this one is a little sad, but I think the reason penelope resented cheryl so much was at least in part due to her own jealously of the fact that cheryl could be out and proud about being gay. penelope's relationship with her kids is very interesting to me, because I do think she loves them, but she must also feel trapped by them, since the whole reason she was brought into the blossom family in the first place was to have children and keep the lineage going. she's never had the option to express her sexuality freely and openly; she's never had the option to express any part of herself freely and openly, so it must really hurt to watch cheryl be able to do that in a way she never could. of course that doesn't justify her behavior towards her daughter, but since penelope spent so much of her life unloved, repressed, and used, I think the anger ended up manifesting itself in her actions towards cheryl, whether she intended for them to or not. it's just really nice to see penelope finally figure these things out and let herself heal from her childhood. I love all the growth she's had as a character.

- on a lighter note, I think toni decides to start up a gsa in riverdale high after the situation with britta, and she helps provide a safe space for young lgbt kids to freely express themselves.

- despite not being out yet, I think queer teens at rvd high tend to flock to archie because they know he'll be able to fulfill the role of supportive, loving, paternal figure in their lives, especially if their families don't fully accept them. I think this kind of attention motivates him to reopen the community center, and help out some of these kids there.

- tabitha hangs up a pride flag in the window of pop's in june and never takes it down, further solidifying the idea that it's meant to provide refuge to anybody who needs it.

- I think pop is the first person tabitha ever came out, and he was obviously beyond supportive.

- another slightly sad one, but I think when archie does come to turns with his sexuality he ends up calling fp to ask him about how his dad would feel about him being bi. he's pretty sure fred would accept him, but there's a part of him that's not fully sure, and it's really comforting to hear fp reassure him about everything.

- piggybacking off that last hc, I think talking to fp would also help archie a lot because fp himself is bi, and is able to really understand where archie is coming from and provide an anecdote of his own to try and quell his fears.

I don't want this post to be too terribly long, so I think I'm gonna stop there, but I hope these are what you had in mind, anon! I tried to mix up some more serious hcs with some more lighthearted ones, since I wasn't sure which you'd prefer. thank you for the ask, though!

[foxymoxynoona]

I’m rereading Amended (again) and I’ve been struck by the whirlwind of emotions this round. It’s funny how each read brings a different feeling. Tbh I can really empathize with Ezra. Isabella says “It’s not fair, the things kids have to deal with sometimes” in that Halloween chapter and it just tossed me back to when I was a kid. My mom raised me a single mom and had (has) a terrible relationship w my dad. It was hard for her for a really long time. And like, Ezra, I was super in tune to all of it. There’s this kind of odd maturity kids take on when they’re parents are struggling. “Odd” bc like we’re still kids obvi and we can’t really understand everything but we understand Enough. So, I really feel for your characters. Isabella was one of those kids too. Somehow, the people you write feel so really to me haha. I can’t help but think of them as real people —🐮

Yep yep, I was that precocious child too, I think it's very recognizeable/understandable for any of us who filled that role as children. I definitely perceived myself as another adult in the household, and yet as an adult realized all the ways I was so very much not an

I was determined not to let any of my children feel like they had to be "an adult" like that, but my older son is so empathetic and aware, he tries to be that anyway. And there are ways I do need his help with "hearing" for me sometimes, so maybe that feeds into his precociousness too despite my best efforts. I wonder how much of it is childhood troubles vs. birth order vs. personality. At least I'm aware of this kind of thing though and can constantly protect and reassure my kid that he's safe and loved and doesn't need to be anything but a kid, not every parent has that luxury due to circumstances.

Anyway, yes, Ezra feels very real to me too! But I'm sorry to hear your own childhood led you into the Precocious Kids Club too <3

[lunarlegend]

disregard this if you don’t want to read more of my whining about my mental health issues, because that’s what this is because i needed somewhere to put it

ever since ~the bee incident~ last week and my father’s calloused & selfish reaction when i needed his help, i’ve just been bombarded with memory after memory of all the dozens of other times throughout my life that he’s reacted similarly when i just needed my dad

his genuine lack of emotional awareness, his consistently self-centered outlook on the world, the way caring for his family has never been anything more than a chore that interrupts his daily life

and how i’ve always been made the scapegoat for challenging him, since blaming me is easier than trying to argue with him or confront his behavior

i have, since the time that i was a little girl, essentially been an emotional punching bag for a middle-aged man

and because of him, i grew up believing it was normal for people to treat me that way

which is why i didn’t even get my c-ptsd diagnosis until a few years ago. i was 28 when i finally started working through all of this with a therapist, when my glass bubble of “normalcy” was shattered and i was made to understand how virtually none of the events i continuously survived throughout my childhood were actually considered “normal” by any stretch.

it’s been almost 5 years since then, and in a lot of ways, it’s great! i have a label for all of my emotional ups and downs, i have support systems, i have coping mechanisms.

but what i don’t have, is the ability to stop myself from getting metaphorically knocked on my ass every time i start remembering too much.

because now, with the information i have, it’s become obvious to me how a lot of my “normal” memories are actually very fucked up. and i can no longer look at them in any way other than through that lense, the lense of the fact that i grew up traumatized and my brain adjusted to cope.

one single memory spirals out of control, it’s a chain reaction, a domino effect of every time i was screamed at, every time i was threatened, every time my father spun a situation in his favor and told me i was “overreacting”.

verbal, emotional, physical abuse. being shouted at, being chased, being shunned. the numbness i’d feel after he went off on me, how i’d lay in my room in the dark for hours because i couldn’t sleep. i couldn’t even cry.

the time he threw a chair across the room (i was 8), the time he shoved me into a desk (i was 16), all the times he’d grab me by my hair or scream in my face.

and then of course his resulting guilt, when i’d get to listen to him wallow about what a terrible father he was, followed by the apology gifts and the trips to mcdonalds

when i suddenly mattered, when he suddenly had a daughter because his guilt overshadowed his ego, at least for a day

and so i’ve lived my whole life believing i need to apologize to anyone who hurts me, because of course they’re sorry, of course they didn’t mean it, of course i’m a door mat, my father said so

my entire life has been a disaster of pain because of this man. my brain chemistry has been irrevocably altered because of this man. i wake up every day terrified of authority, ready to collapse in on myself if a man so much as raises his voice at me, while my father gets home from work, kicks off his shoes, sits on his ass, and drinks.

it isn’t fair.

[officermaddie23]

Idea 7: Gregory did not have abusive parents.

A lot of fanfics I've read about the 3-star ending all seem to have one thing in common, Gregory having at least one bad parent. Most have Gregory's father being terrible or just having left the family. Some of them have both mother and father be horribly abusive.

I had a different idea: what if instead of abusive parents, Gregory had the opposite: 2 parents who loved him more than anything else. 

That does leave us with a troublesome question: If that's the case, then why does Gregory evidently live in a box?

Let us create a timeline of possible events:

Gregory is born.

At around age 2 or something, Gregory's father is now out of the picture. This isn't because he abandons his family, no.

It is because he dies.

It is quick and unexpected, there is no warning. The reason can be whatever you want. (The more tragic the better.)

So now Gregory's mother (M from here on out) now has to single-handedly take care of toddler Gregory.

She does an amazing job! Her normal profession as a therapist (wink) helps her a lot with making sure Gregory behaves.

It also helps M explain to him where his father is, and helps him grasp the dark concept of death at an early age.

M also makes certain that Gregory knows just how much his father loved him, even if he can't remember him. She makes sure to let him know he is loved by her every day.

M also teaches him some basic housekeeping tasks, so that Gregory can take care of himself when she has late nights at work.

Then one day at work, when Gregory is around 9, M gets a new patient at work. Some blonde beta tester, the only thing of note is her inconsistent childhood memories and the fact her 4 previous therapists have gone missing. 

It's a bit weird and slightly concerning, but what is the worst that can happen?

… I think we all know what happened next. 

Gregory wouldn't suspect anything was wrong, thinking his mom is just having another late night at work.

Then some people show up, they say that his mother has, *ahem* "gone missing" and that they have to take him to an orphanage for the time being.

Gregory immediately knows that his mother is dead. He can hear it when they stutter just before saying "gone missing." Ironically, his mother did the same thing when she first explained where his father went.

Before he gets a chance to properly grieve, Gregory gets put in an orphanage with about a dozen other children. This is because he doesn't have any relatives.

Most of the caretakers there seem apathetic. Some care a bit more, but it is leagues away from how much his mother cares-... cared for him.

One of the caretakers seems to actively hurt him whenever they can. They hate kids (like Vanessa in the game, but without the valid excuse of being possessed by a British furry) and seemingly only took the job either as a way to get some easy money or as a chance to hurt kids.

When Gregory finally gets a chance to cry over his mother's death, that "caretaker" is there yelling at him to "stop whining and get over it"

This is too much for him, so he decides to run away. He finds living in a box in an alley to be difficult, but at least no one can hurt him now.

Then the games events happen.

I think that this idea could work. The sudden shift between having a loving home and then being thrown into a harsher environment would make Gregory distrustful of adult strangers.

After everything though, things would get better. Gregory gets the father figure he never really had in the form of a robot bear (wow this series has gotten weird) and a loving… mother? Sister? Aunt figure? in Vanessa.

            Also if you're wondering how Gregory would react to learning who killed his mother, I think he would understand that it was Vanny’s doing, not Vanessa's, and be quick to reassure her that he doesn't blame her. Vanessa would likely hate herself just that little bit more, knowing that it was her (noitwasvannys) who orphaned a child

Very interesting though I always thought Gregory’s parents died from like an illness or something

[bbnibini]

MEMORIA 3/KEY 7: His Name Was Nathan

The coffee was bitter on her tongue, lingering there until the acidity started to kick in to give his clumsy brew some “sour notes”. But as Balthazar looked at her with anticipation, she couldn’t say a single insult—letting it simmer inside her like the milk for his latte; now boiled over and ruined. She had gotten used to the careless smile on his face at every mistake; the plasters on his fingers a silent mark of his hard work. However fruitless his efforts were at every empty table, he would always laugh it off and say that he can try again. Even Sera’s voice of reason did not shake him off from closing the whole café down. Witch’s Brew meant so much to him—she didn’t need any words of affirmation to know that. Which made her think her next thoughts out loud:

“Why do you try so hard?”

Balthazar looked taken aback. She saw him scramble over the mess he made at the countertop; his eyes glazed as if in deep thought. This happens sometimes—only, Lucifer’s often biting remarks were now absent at the seat next to hers. The new Lucifer was earnest, kind and eager—much like the more innocent side of him before adulthood had hardened him to face the real world. She had always longed to see that part of him, but not in that way.

“You don’t have to think so hard, Balthazar. It was an offhand remark.”

The barista shook his head. “I don’t mind. I…just drifted off, I suppose.” He paused, hesitating, before meeting her eyes again. “There was someone, but he’s gone now. I learned everything from him.”

“Someone?” She parroted.

Balthazar smiled warmly, reminiscing. “Someone very precious to me…”

How many had it been?

The bile rising up from his throat was an unpleasant bitter, lingering in his tongue even as he spewed it all out. The banquet for this evening had been rich and decadent—with all the luxuries his prosperous nation is basking from his wise rule. Even so, a beloved ruler isn’t without adversaries. What is to say the person bending down to his eye level, offering a cup of water wasn’t as well?

.

.

.

.

.

“Don’t look at me like that. I’m merely jesting. Thank you for your kind offer.”

Nathan sighed. “I understand your suspicions, Your Majesty. But as you had requested for this humble self to always be candid with you, I cannot hide my hurt.” Only at times like this did the straitlaced Nathan looked like the same little boy he had known from his distant childhood. The King, of course kept that thought to himself.

“Now, do you need assistance?” He offered his hand for his to hold and he accepted with gratitude. “If you are gone for too long, they would grow restless. I shall alert—”

“I’m hungry.”

His dramatic flair had been successful as the weary Nathan had finally put down his guard and laughed with him. He guided him to be seated next to him, was offered by what he had called kikkar, but the poor King's fight and flight response said otherwise. Even so, he took the entire thing from his hand and had a big bite of it. He gagged.

“I told you it’s terrible, Your Majesty.” Nathan looked apologetic. “Here, wash it down.”

The playful sovereign shook his head and instead took in more bites—one, two, three…until it was all gone.

“I told you I was hungry.”

Nathan shook his head. “To think our wise ruler partakes in my abominations. When your royal counsellors take wind of it, it would be the end of me!” Realisation dawned on him. “What would Nathan say?”

“Nathan,” The king’s tone was kind. “Your cooking is fine. I appreciate you taking the time off your priestly duties for my sake.”

It was far from fine. Even with his best efforts, Nathan’s cooking was barely decent. Despite that…

“Nathan?”

“Yes, Your Majesty?”

…despite that, it had what the rich and decadent meals on his table had lacked.

“Will you teach me how to make kikkar? Just in case I ever consider stepping down the throne.

.

.

.

.

I’m not saying it in earnest, of course. Please don’t despair.”

The crown felt heavy on his head—the name He had given him moreso. On restless nights like this, he couldn’t help but wish that he had no name at all. But what would they ever think of him when he would say such thoughts out loud?

A loved child would only remain lovable if he is without flaw—the straight and blinding path paved for him wasn’t meant to stray. The doubts lingering in his heart, bitter like bile were there merely because he was still far from the loved child he was meant to become.

Yet at moments which his doubtful heart would clamour for repose, he would come back to the times when he didn’t know any better. Nathan had been a bittersweet reminder of that. But he was right. To be truly wise meant to keep an open, discerning heart. He could only regale for a while longer. Even Nathan couldn’t save him from the glory he was destined for since birth.

"Compared to the luxurious meals they serve me every day, this is so much better. It’s lethal in a good way."

Just when Nathan would retort, the King cut him short, holding back laughter. "Thank you for working hard. You don't have to do this for me, but you still do. I appreciate it,

.

.

.

Nathan, my dearest brother. My only friend in this world."

. 

. 

. 

. 

. 

For each life that passes, he offers a flower---it had been someone equally precious, equally irreplaceable who had taught him that. Flush in his hands, the reddest of Ixoras lay, with its nectar long lost, like the life who left it behind. There was no doubt in his mind; he had known where his dearest friend will go. Even his name had lost its meaning--betrayed by the loneliness his prophecy had bestowed upon him.

Silently, that lonely figure stood there, wondering if a single floret would suffice as an offering. His tongue was traitorous. His earnest promises became poison with time. Even so, he knew that if he voiced such thoughts to Nathan, he would only smile at him and say, 

"Such a thing?" 

And he wouldn't understand.

In fact, he didn't understand Nathan at all. Even as his wrinkled hands clasped with his own, the last words he had said to him were lost.

"Your Majesty...no--"

Lost like the warmth that disappeared from his hand--the weight of his words felt prickly in his eyes, as if Nathan had known what he had doubted all this time.

.

.

.

The silence Nathan had answered him those many nights ago finally made sense. But in cruel irony, he had only understood once he was no more.

"...eldest brother. Thank you."

...and once again, he too was no more.

"A name?"

"Mhm. A pseudonym, moreof. You'll need one now that you're a bona fide writer!"

"...."

"Haha. I understand. A name is important to us, after all. Taking your time to think of one is good as well."

"How did you come up with yours, Christopher?"

"Me? Well...it's quite embarrassing but...I didn't really put much thought into it. It's something I regret up to now. . . . . As a name will hold most of your power, make sure to think up of one that is easy to remember."

"An unforgettable name? Then--" 

"Balthazar?"

"Ohhh...sorry. What was I saying?"

She looked concerned, but answered. "You said that someone was precious to you?"

Ah.

"Is something wrong?"

Balthazar shook his head.

For a moment, he wondered why that name he once borrowed sounded so vivid in his ears.

Family. 

The name he kept close to his heart is his only one, and he had lost it. How dare he yearn for more when he couldn't even protect the one he had?

"I'm sorry. I seem to have forgotten what I was going to say. Anyway, since you're here, do you want to try some kikkar? On the house."

"No, thank you!" 

[ "My dearest reader---the answer you will find here will be the key you will need to uncover a fragment of himself that he had hidden--one he has to face once more to truly be at peace with himself. Knowing my name would only spoil the excitement~! My existence is a hint in itself, and it will rob you off the opportunity of getting to know him through your own abilities. Now, before I segue any further, shall we start? 

“How can a woman say to her son: ‘Your father is my father; your grandfather, my husband; you are my son, and I am your sister?’”  (hint: the daughters of _______; one word; name; lowercase)

I know you can do it! Once you are sure of your answer, go back to this page and place your answer in the blank box after clicking[enter answer here]. What awaits you is another riddle! Only once you answer all four will you uncover what is hidden. Good luck~!" ] 

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💌 tag request: @krussyfed, @lilliansstuff , @cupsof-tea