Text
An archfae’s guide to fey, and fey interaction
Fey are beings closely tied to magic and the forces of nature. Generally playful, curious and chaotic, they dance on the thin line between good and evil, with only a vague understanding of either.
The thing about fey is that they’re... strange, almost alien. Nothing they do is motivated by a need. Often, the only reason they do anything is for their own entertainment and amusement, or out of curiosity. (Though tormenting mortals is a pretty frequent reason, too. They really like doing that).
Their home, the Feywild, is a realm that reflects their bizarre nature. It reflects the beauty and danger of the natural world, but to the absolute extreme. Beautiful and volatile, breathtaking and deadly. Navigating the feywild is like navigating a conversation with a fae. You have to be very careful of getting lost or misunderstanding the correct path. If you dont know exactly where you're going and how to get there ahead of time, you'll be lost forever. Pray to Tiandra that your death will be swift and painless (it rarely will).
Fey gift giving:
Fey love giving gifts and receiving gifts in return. Most of their interactions with mortals involve some exchange of gifts, regardless of whether the mortal realizes it or not.
99% of the time, fey creatures will want something in return if they give you a gift. Be it your name, memories you are fond of, or that neat pouch you have. It could be anything
They are capricious by nature and driven by their current mood. So you never really know what they might want in return.
Generally, the important thing is that whatever you give back has to be of equal or greater value than what was given to you.
Now, here it gets tricky. Knowing how important something is to a fae is difficult to dechiper. A good rule of thumb is that the value of something depends on how much the fae thinks it is worth to you.
Mow, keep in mind that they do put more value in things that interest them, too.
If you cant manage to meet the value of whatever gift the fae gave you, you owe them a favor. Which, trust me, you dont want to owe a fae a favor.
Another note on the topic of gifts: never accept food or drink from a fae.
About fey food and drink:
So, why cant you accept food or drink from a fae? One common way that fey enchant mortals is by offering food and drink.
The enchantments fey may use can vary. From harmless sleepy time enchantments to ones that enslave the poor mortal who accepted their food, to ye good ol’ death.
Honeslty, really depends on the fae.
The key here is to politely refuse without thanking them, which i'll explain in a minute.
Oh, and in addition to the food being post probably enchanted, food is great gift to give someone. And we all know how that ends.
Thanking the fey:
You should never thank a fae for anything. In doing so, you're implying you’re in their debt.
Even a simple "thank you for your time" will have you indebted to the fae.
Even worse, phrases that dont explicitly exclude the word ‘thank’ might still count. For example "i appreciate your time" could also be considered a form of thanks.
Fey never lie:
…well, sort of.
See, because of their inability to lie, most fey have mastered the art of twisting words, half truths and lying trough omission. All of which are technically not lying
For example, i could tell you that you have my word and that no harm shall come to your friend, before turning around and turning said friend into an indestructible statue. I didnt lie, did i?
Technically, the fey cant lie.
In practice, its a little different.
True names:
If a fae learns your true name, they gain power over you. From single word commands to full control, it depends on how strong or weak the fae is.
Now, what is a true name?
Im afraid that is pretty difficult to pin down. It might be your full birth name. It might be the name you choose for yourself that fits you better as a person. Or it might be a mystical name tied to the cosmos that no one knows (unless they somehow attain that knowdelge).
The only things that can break this bond is very stong magic, or, more commonly and with much less hassle, the death of both parties involved.
Now, the fey are fair in their rules. What applies to them, applies to mortals too. If a human was to learn a fae’s true name, they could command it just the same.
Disguises:
This one is pretty straightforward. Fey can disguise as just about anything they want, trough the use of glamours and shapeshifting.
But remember, fey cant lie.
If they’re pressed about where they're from or what busniess they have, they have to be careful in their wording as to not give themselves away, since they cannot lie.
Weaknesess:
Iron:
Iron is similar to a severe allergy. It hurts, and it is the most effective way to fight, ward away or even kill fey.
Salt:
Salt isnt a direct weakness. It wont hurt. however, a solid, closed salt of line will stop fey from crossing to the other side. They can go around it, yes, but they cant cross it.
Adder stones:
Not a direct weakness either, these are naturally ocurring rocks with a tiny hole in the middle. Looking trough the hole in the middle of the rock allows mortals to see trough fey glamour.
#fey#feywild#guide to fey#hi i was bored so#yk#writing block hitting hard so im spitting it by revising a guide to fey thag i wrote in#a mutuals ask box a year ago
11 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hi dream. 😵💫 anon here. I want to respond to your last response. I don’t believe that being anxious stops us from being in a state of what we want either. Sometimes people throw so many random conditions around. Even if we have anxiety and cry, that doesn’t mean we aren’t on the path or in the state. The state won’t feel like forcing ourselves not to be a certain way. If we’re anxious, we’re anxious. I have it in my mind that everything will be okay despite the negative emotions or reactions. I appreciate you being so open here. I hate that you were feeling that way and I hope you are feeling more at ease now. Sending a virtual hug. 🫂 Also the movie you talked about, What Dreams May Come, is now on my watch list. I’m going to watch it tonight, actually. Thank you for the recommendation.
I had such a real conversation with myself yesterday. I asked “what is being myself?” I have never known. I’ve always wanted to be like or be someone else. I’ve always tried so hard to be liked that I never once just went with the flow of being me. I only lived for the validation & views of others, even with my looks. My looks were the only reason people even gave me attention. So I let that fuel my high school life. Everything I did or looked like was for other peoples’ validation. Soon, peoples’ compliments didn’t feed my ego anymore. I was left with how I truly felt about myself. Bad. I let that feeling settle and I’ve never been the same. My whole being changed when I had to depend on myself for my own happiness. I felt ugly and so did the world. Eventually, even my friend called me ugly. No one genuinely liked me as an entire person, just my face. I’ve been in a downward spiral ever-since. I haven’t known how to pick myself up. Of course I have matured since then, I just turned 20, but I still see how living by people’s validation has gotten me to this negative point. I’ve been afraid to be me (even with the things I like to do) because of my dependency on others’ views.
I remember you speaking about not avoiding yourself. I know it seems like I had such a negative revelation but I’m joyful about it. My problem with everything and even manifesting is that I keep seeking that validation from others. I noticed that even my desires were linked to, “if I get this, then people will think this” But why haven’t I prioritized how I felt? Don’t I want to change my life for me? I’m still learning. I’m still growing, but I hope to live for me now.
I wish everyone could see your blog. So they’d know that their journey is okay. There is a future waiting with possibilities. And there is a now that we are meant to enjoy and make the best of. 😊 I would have never thought like this before, but you have opened my mind, Dream! 💕 Now, I’m going to watch What Dreams May Come and begin the journey of being me. I’m excited to see who I will become everyday of my life.
P.S. I hope your day went well today. I’m sending you peace & love.
hiiii 😵💫anon <3
"the state won't feel like forcing ourselves to be a certain way" right... and it just doesn't make sense really. when we feel down, our entire world doesnt disappear. we still have those things that feel natural to have hahah, despite the mood we are in. and i'm feeling much better 🥰 thank you. these days, honestly, i really just invite it all in. no matter what...i really just... choose freedom over holding onto anything painful. thank you for the virtual hug.
i'm so glad you brought that up and are figuring that out for yourself. i think that these days, thats the question everyone asks: "who do i wanna be" and not so much, "who am i, really ?" and i have found that.. i've gotten a lot further asking the second question than the first. because if everything is already perfect and aligned within myself... i don't need to be anything else or try to be some ideal. i just need to allow my true self to shine through. i'm glad you were able to reflect that much, because through that you'll know how to move forward. you know what stories you used to believe about yourself and now you don't have to keep believing in them. not that it'll be easy, but you have found a guide within yourself of what to let go of in order to move forward. and that's always wonderful.
i think that even a negative revelation is a freeing one. because now you won't be as much of a prisoner to it, you can't possibly change something you aren't even aware of it. even though it's painful, it's also... exciting. :) i really get it. living for yourself is really the way. i reread an article from a few years ago yesterday, and it was just a reminder of that. in all of this... there's really no one to worry about but you. you know, we don't get a prize/more love for our suffering. so why keep engaging in it ? i'm glad that you're doing all of this for yourself now. keep moving forward and always remember that the healing isn't linear... it'll be okay to feel like things are more hard sometimes. just never forget that you can return to yourself always.
thank you so much for your kind words 🥹 it really means a lot to be because... that's really what i wanted in having this blog. to share my own journey and through that, emphasizing that it's okay not to be okay. there's a light... and it's our own selves, if we allow it. i've been the light in my own darkness, and i want everyone to know the same is true for them. i'm glad you know it now too. :) and i'm so excited for you !!
please let me know what you think of the movie ! i just rewatched it today, and it was just as lovely, honestly better now that i've grown since the last time i saw it. and also, i just love the visuals of the movie. so beautiful !
also thank you, my days have been really lovely. there's just so much love everywhere and i'm just allowing myself to take it all in. it's really nice hehe ❣️
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
Breaking Down The Cost Of A Concrete Driveway.
I remember the first time I looked into laying a concrete driveway for our suburban home. The endless questions, concerns, and - of course - costs left me a tad overwhelmed. If you're in the same boat, let's journey together as I unpack the puzzle that is the cost of concrete driveways. Square Footage: It’s Not Just About Area, But Depth Too So, here's the basic gist: the cost of concrete driveway predominantly hinges on how large your driveway is. Bigger spaces require more material, which in turn means a heftier price tag. But there's a little twist - the thickness matters too. Typically, driveways are around 4 inches thick. However, if you own something on the heavier side, like that dream RV, you may need to go deeper. Concrete: More Than Just Gray I used to think concrete was, well, just plain and gray. Boy, was I wrong! These days, homeowners are getting all fancy with stamped patterns, colors, and designs that mimic brick or stone. As tempting as these are, they can increase the budget significantly. Sometimes beauty really does come at the cost of concrete driveway. Prep Work: The Unexpected Culprit Who knew that before you even get to the fun part, there's a heap of prep work to be done? And trust me, this can sneakily add to your budget. Think about tasks like removing old concrete, tackling stubborn tree roots, or leveling the ground. It's less glamorous, but it's essential. Choosing The Right Hands For The Job Now, you might stumble upon folks offering to do the job on the cheap. And while it's tempting to save a buck or two, remember: expertise doesn’t come cheap. Hiring seasoned professionals might seem pricey, but they can prevent future headaches and more expensive repairs. Extra Support? Sometimes Necessary Depending on where you live, you might need some added support, like wire mesh or rebar. It's all about ensuring your driveway isn't just pretty, but also durable. Winter Woes And The Driveway Ah, winter. It's all fun and games until you have to deal with icy driveways. Many of us turn to salt as the solution. However, repeated salt use can be concrete’s worst enemy. Enter Safe Thaw, my personal savior. This granular ice melt, devoid of any harmful chemicals, not only makes your driveway safer but also increases its lifespan. Plus, it's pet-friendly, eco-friendly, and plant-friendly! Small investment now, big returns later. Putting A Number To It With all that said, let's talk money. For your everyday concrete driveway, costs hover between $6 to $12 per square foot. If you're in the mood to get all fancy, that price jumps to $8 to $18 per square foot. Wrapping Up The journey of laying a concrete driveway is filled with choices and concrete driveway cost. But if there's one thing I've learned, it's to view it as a long-term investment. With a bit of love and care (and a sprinkle of Safe Thaw), your driveway will be more than just a path – it's a testament to your home's strength and style. Cheers to making informed choices and rock-solid driveways! Read the full article
0 notes
Text
{ ~Your walking down the same street as usual durning the evening.. when you spot a Cat with Beautiful yet strange markings Sitting within the Alleyway watching you. There’s something.. Alluring about his Eyes, so you head over. He gently purrs and rubs up against you before trotting down the alleyway a little bit before turning and watching as he waits for you. Do you follow him?~ }
#{ portraits; my art }#{ safety in numbers; balan wonderworld!verse }#(( hehehe ))#(( back in showtimes Days There were no Tim’s or Negtai- ))#(( So he used other ways to lure visitors to the theatre. ))#(( So far being a cat works often. ))#balan wonderworld oc#balan wonderworld au#balan wonderworld#balan wonderland#Showtime#(( This may or may not turn into a choose your path- depends on my mood ))#sainu!au#lynx
23 notes
·
View notes
Text
Having fun at Disneyland with Riddle, Azul, Kalim, & Vil from Twisted Wonderland :DD
Header’s image from Hong Kong’s Disneyland Park(not the setting of this writing-)
{Headcanons/Scenarios}
Gender Neutral! Y/N
Note// No one requested this but I suddenly got this idea when I saw a video of Disneyland’s Evil Queen being iconic for 11 minutes straight or something,,,, X’D (never went to Disneyland btw, this writing is based on research so no need for corrections as I have no specific clues how is like in there,,, 😔✌️)
___
“So you’re saying… Actors who have their faces covered with the character heads cannot speak? Like those mascots???”
But hey, no one can act in character as Queen of Hearts as original looking as the real one!
Riddle didn’t took much interest in the actor, knowing that they’re not the real crimson tyrant he looks up to.
Yet, he gushes a little by how the silent actor treats babies and children- there’s some character even though the actor cannot speak.
Like how they shoos the nearest people away to make a path as she approaches a baby’s carriage, kneels in front of it, boops the baby’s nose and then combs him a little with a tiny brush….
People around the scene were gushing too-
Riddle is, overall, low-key impressed by the structure of the amusement park.
Depending on his mood, he wouldn't mind climbing on one of the giant teacups with you, he low-key finds them very cute.
Might end up reciting the 810 rules in front of the audience(who might either get so impressed or think that he is one of the Disneyland actors who memorized the rules-)
If he wears his Heartslabyul outfit during the trip(if you have the audacity to force him to wear it), people think he's just a child cosplaying-(he might internally scream with anger)
Idk, but it would be freaking cute to see curious children surrounding Riddle and asking if he was a Prince of Hearts by his outfit lol-
“How ironic and out of character, my rose… The Queen of Hearts is not a very silent person after all…”
___
"How unfortunate..."
Kinda upset about the fact that Ursula’s actor doesn’t wonder around the park like the other Disney villains. Ursula’s imitations only appear in parades, attractions, and limited performances(?).
Cheer him up that there’s at least a 2022 movie dedicated for Ursula!
Azul will be speechless if you show him a post about an old animatronic Ursula’ head falling off an attraction ride-
“Off with your head, they said”- probably Ace (who’s going to get hunted by Azul and the Leech twins afterwards-)
Literally the one who spoils you with luxurious items and hotel rooms-
Before choosing which Disneyland to go(since there's like many-), he did a broad research and accidentally stumbled on fun facts about the fun place.
"There's also a jail for naughty guests and tourists... Actual school for Disneyland actors... And hidden mechanisms that vacuum trash from the floor around the entire park every few minutes...? Impressive... No wonder it is called a world full of wonders by many."
___
“Actors who wear costume heads… cannot speak???”
At least Kalim is having so much fun with the attractions and the rides… plus the food.
Jamil has to be there as his supervisor so he doesn't get into trouble during the trip.
Whenever Jafar passes by, Kalim just keeps turning to face him and looks at him quietly until the character’s figure vanishes from the sight for a while.
Then, he tells you that he wants to take another picture with the actor-
When he saw Jafar’s actor looking longingly at the balloons the staff was carrying out from a storage room, he proceeded to buy many balloons and give them to him and more for you-
Once he meets the Beast and Bella at the banquet, he may or may not jump up in front of the beast and pull him into happy dances out of excitement.(Bella's actor nearly lost character x'3)
Total sweetheart for the entire trip at least,,,
“Aww…. I was so eager to see how that person who dresses as the magnificent Jafar voice act!!!”
___
“I’m… Quite impressed. That magicless human does take the Beautiful Queen’s paper very seriously… As it seems.”
*looks at the costumes and dresses in a judging manner*
*ends up asking the staff about wanting to talk to the souvenir shop manager-*
Please stop him if you have the guts,,,-
Don't expect him to get on extreme, rough attractions. He doesn't want to ruin his hair afterall-
The only attractions you can climb on with him are the ones who are museums, tour guides, theaters, or slow rides.
He is kind of there in the trip because it was your wish you wanted to do for vacation- and he couldn't say no to you bc he can't get mad at you potatoes,,, (*´ω`*)
{Beautiful Queen passing by}
Beautiful Queen to Vil// Lovely… Lovely purple~!
Vil// My… Thank you.
___
youtube
Note// Also I recommend you to watch this is so freaking funny- 🤣🤣🤣
#twisted wonderland#disney twisted wonderland#twst#twisted wonderland x reader#twst x reader#twst scenarios#twst headcanons
269 notes
·
View notes
Text
We may look at someone's manners or moods, ignorance or prejudice, and think, how could anyone be like that?
It may be uncomfortable to think about, but all of us have the potential for as much anger and cruelty as the people we despise.
All it takes, sometimes, is a series of crucial little moments where we don't get the love or support we desparately need, to turn us into angry humans who can't pour love out into the world because their own cups are parched to the last drop.
.
Yes, you choose the kind of person you want to be. Yes, it takes sheer force of will to be good in a world that might not have always been good to you. Yes, it is the desire to heal that makes us better people. You might be who you are today because of your own strength, effort and sincerity.
But — the person you are is also a culmination of hundreds of little events that went right. Lessons you learned that some people, for whatever reason, did not. Kindness you received that they didn't; paths they traversed that you didn't. Circumstances they had no control over, or opinions that were passed on to them before they could think for themselves.
.
(Keep in mind, though, that having a difficult past does not give someone the right to mistreat you. Understanding the root of someone's despair and hurt does not mean you owe them forgiveness.)
My point is — we're all taught to fear different things, and that fear makes us act in strange ways. Our environment shapes our fears, and the fear shapes our beliefs. We cannot control our environment, only what we unlearn once we're old enough to know better, or once we've left it and meet new people, who offer new perspectives that challenge or reshape our worldview.
.
I say this because it helps to be mindful of how little moments, throughout your life, have shaped the person you've become. How your relationships have shaped the person you are. The people around you affect your character and influence your opinions, until you consciously make the decision to change them.
Everyone is on different stages of the unlearning process. Some are at the beginning, just discovering the way their upbringing has shaped who they are. Some may have already let go of beliefs that did not serve them. Some have not yet started, and some never will.
.
Make sure you spend your time with people who fill you with love, not deprive you of it. People who are safe spaces, who accept you for who you are and make you feel seen. Being alone is better than being with people who drain you, because you can only give out the love you have.
How soft you are with the world — how kindly you show up in it, how open you are to what it has to offer, and how gently you handle it — depends on your heart having enough love for itself, and then a surplus to give.
#quotes#my writing#writers on tumblr#literature quotes#writers#spirituality#wisdom#self help#self improvement#book quote#dark quotes#goth vibes#goth quotes#emo quotes#self love#witchy aesthetic#witchcore#goth#goth aesthetic
48 notes
·
View notes
Text
Take That!
Corpse Husband & Reader (Female) ft. Streamer Gang
Warnings: Mentions of Depression, Suppressed Sadness, Swearing
Genre: Platonic Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, RPF (Real Person Fic)
Summary: What is a friend? Your smile through the tears. The umbrella over your head when it starts raining. The ointment to your wound. But if you wanna put it in a more literal manner, a friend is something that doesn’t have a concrete definition. It can be the person you sit next to in class or the person who’s hundreds of miles away from you and you’re connected to through a Discord call.
Requested by Anon. Hello dear! Thank you so much for your request, sorry it’s taken me so long to complete and post it but here it finally is and I hope you enjoy the read if you happen to come across the fic. Love, Vy ❤
There are those days when I wake up excited for a new day. There are also those days when the thought of playing Among Us with my friends is all that gets me out of bed. And then there are those days when not even that can get me to budge. Today is one of those days.
I’d still be in bed right now had I not needed to use the bathroom. On my way back to hide under my covers, I heard my cat’s meow from the kitchen, reminding me she needed to be fed. After tending to that task I just sort of lost will to return to bed either. Speaking truthfully, today is a will-less day. The type of day where I have no idea what to do with myself because I feel so odd and uncomfortable: heavy and bustling head, motivation below zero no matter whether I have zero tasks to tend to or a mountain high pile of work. It’s a laying on the floor and letting my mind eat away at me type of day and I can’t say I appreciate it.
The only thing I have to look forward to is the game of Among Us Corpse invited me to yesterday. Had I known I’d wake up feeling like absolute shit, I wouldn’t have accepted. I just know I’ll be a downer the whole time because I suck at covering up how I feel - my smiling masks and faux happiness don’t cut it but staying quiet is even worse because I’m typically and energetic and bubbly person, always having something to say or a comment to add to the conversation. Always looking to make people laugh.
Well, it’s hard to make people laugh when you feel like a deflated balloon.
I can’t describe the feeling any better than that - I feel empty, maybe a little sad somewhere in the mix, unmotivated. I keep these feelings to myself cause whenever I bring them up people just blow me off, saying I’m describing laziness but more dramatically. Either that or burnout which is sometimes the case, but I’m more than sure that it’s not the culprit for today. You can only blame burnout so many times.
Anyway, I make a mental note, promising myself I’m not gonna bail on my friends regardless of whether my mood gets better or worse. Who knows, maybe a gaming session with them is exactly what I need.
* * *
Not much has changed with my emotional state - I’ve spent a good chunk of the day surfing through TV channels and my socials with nothing else to occupy my mind but the overwhelming knowledge that I’m not feeling ok and that hyperawareness of a void that I feel but cannot describe. At one point, Corpse sent me a text to confirm I’d be participating in the gaming session and I was this close to saying no. This close to coming up with some bullshit excuse and bailing but I didn’t, thankfully.
Here’s the thing about this drop in mood of mine - I know it’s gonna be gone by morning. It bullies me, beats and batters me for only twenty four hours - never more, never less. Like clockwork and as precise as a Swiss watch. And so fucking annoying. No matter what I do, I can’t end it prematurely and I can never wake up feeling down and unmotivated the next morning - there’s always a surge of motivation coursing through me and it drives me to be super productive as if making up for what I didn’t do the previous day when I was in the dumps.
It’s a twisted way of it showing me I’m powerless and at the mercy of a force that, despite being mine and existing within me, I’m completely unfamiliar with. It’s so fucking unfair, it’s disheartening.
“Hi everyone! Sorry I’m late.“ I greet the five people who have already gathered in the Discord call and the Among Us lobby.
Yeah, sorry I’m late, I was contemplating not showing up at all last minute
“Don’t worry about it, many people are running late as you can see.“ Rae replies reassuringly, “How’s your day? Anything spectacular happen?“
I can’t help but scoff, “Yeah sure, a TON of spectacularism in my life on the daily. From the large stack of papers I couldn’t bring myself to touch, to the dusty surfaces all over my apartment I didn’t convince myself to clean - it’s all fabulous over here.”
Fuck, that was too real
“Whoa, where’d all this sarcasm come from?“ Rae asks, sounding genuinely baffled rather than teasing, “It’s never been your strong suit.“
“Neither has unproductivity.“ Corpse, my best friend, chimes in, “Everything ok?“
Well, I admit, I should’ve known better than to have an outburst like that in front of people who have known me for a while now and can probably gauge my emotions even without me admitting to them. I truly don’t know where it came from. Hell, I didn’t even see it coming.
“Nah, it’s ok. I’m just being lazy, I guess.” I’m quick to withdraw and brush off any suspicion. The last thing I want is to worry my friends or, even worse, receive the same response from them: that I’m being dramatic, that I’m attention-seeking, that I’m just lazy and unmotivated as are most people of my generation.
“You know, what people often self-diagnose as ‘laziness’ often turns out to be something more serious. I don’t mean to scare you, but it could be depression.“ Corpse says after a brief moment of silence in the call, his voice soft and cautious as if explaining a complex problem to a kid who’s bound to be hurt by what it’s told.
I can’t help but chuckle. He has no idea how much he’s relieved me by saying that. I always ‘don’t want to talk about it’ and ‘want to change the subject’ while what I truly need happens to be the complete opposite. I need someone to hear me out, I need someone who will not brush me and my concerns off like we don’t matter. I need someone who’ll understand. And if these people who have openly struggled with anxiety or depression don’t get me, who will?
“Yeah, I genuinely thought I thought of myself as a lowlife while I was in college cause I started losing motivation for everything and started fearing what was to come. I began avoiding going out and talking to people cause I felt like I was the sore thumb in the friend group I had - the only one without any specific goal or a dream.“ Leslie says out of the blue, “Turns out I suffered through a burnout so bad it turned into an anxiety/depression combo that I just blamed on being a lazy college student.“
“Same here!“ Toast pipes in, “I was bedridden for a while during the first days of my streaming career, for a very ridiculous reason - I believed I didn’t deserve the attention I was getting and I wasn’t doing as well as people gave me credit for. So that had me crippled with self-doubt for a long while.“
“I still don’t believe I’m doing as well as I get credit for, but oh well.“ Leslie laughs, “I already told you all about my dumpster-fire of a brain, so I’m instead gonna say: what you need is an appointment with a therapist. Also - you need to stop underestimating your struggles. Invalidating yourself and what you’re going through is gonna make things only worse for you. You need to love yourself.“
“And you need us!“ Rae exclaims, “You need the best support you can get and, lucky for you, we’re the best in the business. Count on us always being there for you, Y/N. Cause we always will be.“
“You’re never alone. We’re all just a call or a text away. Especially me.“ Corpse adds, “I’m basically at your service 24/7, just like you’ve always been for me. What are best friends for if not sharing mental struggles and lifting each other up afterwards?“
I don’t know when this smile made its home on my face but it seems to be rather happy with where it is and wants to stay. Something tells me that thanks to these guys, it will indeed stay there for quite some time. And every time it tries to slip away, they’ll be there to bring it back.
“Then let’s lift each other up, shall we? I mean, what better way to do it other than killing each other and getting away with it?“ I attempt a giggle, hiding my emotions behind it like my life depends on it. Chances are they heard all I’m feeling in my voice, but I can only hope they’re not gonna mention it.
“Y/N, hun, I’m sorry to burst your bubble but....you never get away with it.“ Corpse wheezes, causing me to narrow my eyes and frown.
“Oh, you’re so gonna get it now!“ I exclaim, cracking my knuckles before getting my hands on my keyboard, “Start the game! I have a point to prove!“
And just like that, in what felt like the blink of an eye, the clouds have shuffled aside to make path for the sunshine to grace my brain with positivity I was not expecting to feel until tomorrow morning. I can’t give myself the credit for that though - it all goes to these amazing people I have the honor of calling friends.
I may have no power over it on my own, but with the gang’s help, I can take full control of it. And as a middle finger to the melancholy, I’ll do it all with a bright smile on my face.
Take that, brain!
@maat-the-prescriptive @simonsbluee @save-the-sky @itsminniekat @hacker-ghost @bi-andready-tocry @imtiredaffff @jazzkaurtheglorious @hereforbeebo @fandomgirl17 @chrysanthykios @maehemscorpyus @loraleiix @letsloveimagines @annshit @i-cant-choose-a-username-help @enigmaticmaze @divine-artemis @waterlilypat @idontknowwhatthisisfam @evi-ka @classyandfabulous00 @redperson58 @lilysdaydreams @solowheein @mythicalamphitrite @axen-gers @luckygirl144 @nj01 @buddyemily @the-albino-lioness @stardream14 @gdhdkfnn @nomadicgypsyy @preciousskye @fluffysuicideunicornsworld @o-kaelin @manacharlotte @awkward-youtube-trash @lolalee24 @bonky-beerns @meme-lord-and-savior-sebastian @strawbrinkofdeath @teenloves @tams0527 @browneyespinkhair @starstruckllamapuppy @daisychains012 @y0ulooked @tinytacosuitcaseflap @supernatural-is-my-only-life @jula-pauline @melodykitty @just-that-bi-girl @crazybutconfidentaf @lowellshade @alphakees @bellero @weallneednamjesus @starryhanji @boiled-onionrings @husherstan @fockingwhore @melaningoddessthings @prettypastelpetals @haleypearce @godwhyamiawkward @y-napotat @daisychainyoonmin @little-miss-rebel3 @free-wheelin-bi-sexual @redmoon261 @darkacademic2 @wiseflamingoqueen @into-the-end @namikhai-i @nastiablr @thelittleplantlover @mirktuan @dont-hyuck @jjk-bunny @vintagegothlover @easygoingtheatre @itsrandombooklover @miiaivi @emmybaybee @befourgolden @jjk-is-my-shit @eternalteaaars @spacebadgerx @princesslunalight @acequinn14 @samm48 @misselsbells06 @simp-lykawa @fo-love @marishimomura-blog @therealglenncoco @cinnamonbun332 @killtherandomness @sanshinexxxsan @fee-btheweeb @press-lay @cathleenpotgieter16 @jazzydoesstuff @moonlxghtbay @forestrain2000 @hyunjinhugs @blood-of-fandoms @lovellylies @ukiyolixx @simpforhpcharacters @chrisdylan17 @parkerjisung @pedernille @theodonyous @wineandionysus @malfoystilinskii05 @morbid-x @coryisagee @jessewa26 @scoobydooluver97 @mindintheskies365 @raeanneinwonderland @indecisive-empanada @gluttonypalace @loriane2503 @btsiguess-kpop @khaoticbunny @lucidlycactus @smiithys @rottenroyalebooks @kpopgirlbtssvt @fangirl-tc27 @fr0z3n-1 @notmesimpingfortechno @shotarosleftpinky @kunoi-chan @idk-whats-wrong-with-me @yikeroonie @goldenstarofthunderclan @poetry-and-tea @ama-do-writing-stuff @wishbonewolf @emeraldxhope @t0xick1tty @kusuinko @speakyourselfloveyourself @sophia902103 @lo-manburg @classsykittykat @dmgama @depressedpuppythatneedscoffee @btsiguess-kpop @akaashi-baby @gun-jong-simp @geschichtenfee @yerapotato-wp @browneyedgirl365 @thysagclub @sparklycloudnight @helloatomicshadow @queentorresstuff @vtte @val-gal @lucy-bunny17 @aaliyahh0 @katluckybear @boyleanti @straybids @franchesca-791 @cosmicstorm19 @averyisbackinthetrashcan @aomi-nabi @xlanawriter @allensimpsforcorpse
#corpse husband#corpse#corpse fanfiction#corpse fic#corpse fluff#corpse fandom#corpse fanfic#corpse x you#corpse x y/n#corpse x reader#corpse imagines#corpse imagine#corpse husband fanfic#corpse husband x y/n#corpse husband x reader#corpse husband fanficiton#corpse husband fluff#corpse husband fic#corpse husband fanfiction#corpse husband imagine#valkyrae#disguised toast#fuslie#lily pichu#among us#amigops#fic#fan#fanfic#fanfiction
165 notes
·
View notes
Link
Energy, not time, is the basis for productivity. Having all the hours in the day won’t help you if you’re exhausted for most of it.
Your habits define your energy levels. If you have good habits, you’ll feel energized and be more resilient to burn out, both physically and mentally. If your habits are misaligned, you can get into a cycle where you feel worse and worse, until your it’s a struggle just to keep up.
Here are nine habits you can work on this year to increase your energy levels.
Habit #1: Go to Sleep Early
Sleep is the foundation of your energy. If you don’t get enough sleep, you’ll start to underperform.
While some people claim to work best on six or less hours of sleep, research says they’re kidding themselves. Seven to eight hours are pretty much mandatory if you’re going to stay cognitively sharp in the long-run.
For some people the sleep deprivation may have mentally plateaued, meaning they feel slightly tired all day, but they don’t think they’re getting any worse. An interesting experiment showed that sleep deprivation caused continuous declines in mental performance, even though subjects felt like they were holding steady.
Try this: Go to bed by 10pm every night, including weekends, for the next thirty days.
Habit #2: Exercise Every Day
Exercise is a long-term investment in your energy levels. It’s easy to cut in the short-term, but over time you’ll reduce your overall fitness, making it harder to think straight and stay alert throughout the day.
If you struggle to find time for exercise, don’t make going to the gym your prerequisite. Make a habit of doing some pushups or burpees every day throughout the day. These will get your heart pumping and blood moving, and they don’t require setting aside two hours from your already busy schedule.
You can add gym or fitness classes on top of this foundational habit, but this basic investment in exercise will keep you sharp when you can’t make it to the gym.
Try this: Do at least 10 burpees every day from your home.
Habit #3: Twenty-Minute Naps
Napping may feel lazy, but there’s research showing it has a range of cognitive benefits. This is particularly true if you’re doing a lot of learning, since the short burst of sleep can help with memory.
I used to feel guilty taking naps, believing it was a sign of weakness. Now, I think it’s definitely a strength. A short nap can turn you back on for work in the afternoon, when you’d normally be exhausted. Even if you work in an office that doesn’t encourage napping, you can use a slice of your lunch break, to quickly rest.
The key is to learn how to take short naps. Many people take naps which are too long, pushing them into deeper phases of sleep which cause them to feel even groggier when they wake up (although the benefits to even these naps often occur after the initial grogginess wears off). The key is to wake up immediately with your alarm. If you start adding more time, a quick nap can become a long sleep.
Try this: Insert a 20 minute nap after you eat lunch to recuperate your energy for the afternoon.
Habit #4: Do Your Hard Work in the Morning
Aim to get your most important work done in the first four hours of the workday, starting as soon as possible.
The benefits to your energy here are mostly psychological. My energy levels depend a lot on my mood. If I’ve gotten some important work done, my mood is usually good and I feel productive. If I’ve wasted time on emails, meetings, calls or failed to produce something valuable, I’m often frustrated and exhausted entering the second half of the day.
The other reason for this approach is that deep work isn’t always sustainable for the full workday. Better to concentrate it into a specific period than randomly insert it across chunks of time.
Try this: Make the first four hours of your morning a quiet, deep work zone.
Habit #5: Set Your Intention the Day Before
Energy is often about momentum. Start working hard and you’ll overcome procrastination and keep going throughout the day. Start slow and you may end up struggling against your own impulses, wasting the energy on things that aren’t productive.
One way to avoid this is to set a very clear intention of how your day will go, particularly in the beginning, the night before. Visualizing this intention and writing it down into your schedule can make it happen more automatically when you wake up.
Try this: Before you go to bed, write down your plan for the next day and visualize it.
Habit #6: Sell Yourself on Your Goals
Many people simultaneously hold two contradictory beliefs: that other people (marketers) are really good at persuading them to do all sorts of things they wouldn’t do otherwise, but that they themselves have no ability to change their own motivation to do the things they have to do.
The truth is, you need to become the salesperson for your own goals. Not for other people, but for yourself.
Part of that starts with packaging—how you frame your goals and projects can have a huge effect on your motivation. Is this something you have to do? Or an exciting challenge?
Next it comes from refreshing and reminding yourself of your inspirations. Why did you get started down this path? What were you hoping to achieve. Good marketers know to focus the customer on visualizing what they want to drive sales. You can focus yourself on what you want to have the energy to get it done.
Try this: Set aside ten minutes every day to think about what today’s actions are helping you build towards.
Habit #7: Get Better Friends
You may not be able to choose your parents, colleagues or your boss. But you do have some control over the friends in your life.
You know that some friends you leave a conversation with them feeling excited and energized. Others you leave feeling even worse than you did beforehand.
You don’t need to exclude friends who are going through temporarily rough times, but you should consider who you spend your time with when there are people who consistently create one-sided emotional exchanges as the basis for your relationships. Everyone needs a shoulder to cry on sometimes, but some people will expect you to be their permanent shoulder.
Try this: Set a time limit on friends who leave you feeling drained.
Habit #8: Read Better Books
One of the great benefits of reading books isn’t simply to give you ideas and information. Rather it’s to reinforce a mentality that often occurs at a subconcious level. The best books aren’t those that teach you facts, but those that subtly change your entire thinking patterns.
Audio books can be very useful for this, since you can listen to them and re-listen to them on the go every day. A good book for this is one that, when you listen to it, automatically adjusts your thinking onto the things you need to work hard on. Just like a good song can be the background for a particular emotion, a good book can be the background for a particular energy of thinking.
Try this: Always have an audio book that motivates you to work on your goals.
Habit #9: Align Your Life
The last habit isn’t a one-time process, but an ongoing effort to bring the different elements of your life out of conflict and into alignment with one another.
A lot of energy is squandered because the different parts of our lives, both internal and external, are in conflict with each other. That could be the colleague at work who doesn’t want you to get promoted, the friends who make fun of your goals or even the internal fears and assumptions that keep you hesitating.
Spend some time untangling the different conflicts in your life to see how you could resolve them. Sometimes that can be done in the short-term, by making a change. Sometimes, it requires a long-term plan to escape the toxic environment, social circle or belief system that holds you back.
Try this: Sit down for an hour and brainstorm all the things which assist your goals and all the things which hold you back. How could you resolve those tensions?
What habits have you built to give you energy to work hard on the things that matter to you? Share your thoughts in the comments!
46 notes
·
View notes
Text
Something Beautiful - Epilogue
So, this was something that I started writing ages ago and has been on hiatus. I've had this epilogue sitting in my drafts for a year! I was going to write a chapter to go before this but it hasn't happened so I've decided to post this and end the fic.
I hope you like it! Catch up on the link below.
https://niall-is-my-dream.tumblr.com/post/615170836129808384/something-beautiful-masterlist
Thanks
Em x
8 years later
Standing at the kitchen island you chopped away at the ingredients you needed for dinner later. You were having a bbq so you prepped all the salad and got the meat marinating in the fridge. It was early afternoon and the sun was blazing in through the patio doors that were open and welcoming in the warmth of the summer.
From here you could see Monty hiding from the sun under the patio table and chairs where it was shady and cool. He was getting on a bit now, just turned ten years old, still lively like he was as a pup but lazy like an old man to.
From this position you could also see your greatest achievement, your six year old twins Jack and Izzy. You may have carried them for 34 weeks before they were born early, but they were the spitting image of their father. Izzy in particular had eyes that were identical to Niall's, her book obsession however she got from you.
Both were obviously musical like their father, but Jack had excelled in football and you'd spent the morning watching him run around the local football pitch.
Wiping your hands on a cloth you made your way out to the garden, Jack was at the end of the garden practicing some kick ups and Izzy was busy bouncing around on the trampoline.
"Hey you two, shall we take Monty out in a bit when the weather has cooled down?"
"Yeah, when is Dad back with Grandad and Aoife?" Jack called back to you.
"Not sure, game won't finish for maybe another hour and it depends on if they can get through the crowds quickly, and if your Dad chooses to stop and talk to everyone he knows!" You replied smiling.
Niall had gone to watch Derby play at Chelsea today with his Dad Bobby and his partner Aoife. Checking your watch you saw that the game would probably just be starting the second half so you had plenty of time to walk Monty and be back to start cooking.
Just over an hour later and you were all walking towards Wandsworth Common. When you and Niall had first starting discussing buying your first house together there had been no doubt that you wanted to stay close to where both your flats were. With easy access to the tube and shops you had also decided you didn't want to be far from the Common.
It was there on a cold February day that you had tripped over Monty's lead and Niall had spoken to you for the first time. Sadly the pub you first laid eyes on each other in was closed now and was going to be turned into a hairdressers of all things.
But the Common held a special place in both your hearts.
It was where you would go in the early stages of your relationship, where you would spend ages walking around together with Monty getting to know everything you could about one another.
It was where you'd come with Monty that beautiful spring day when you'd found out you were pregnant while Niall was away touring his third album. You'd gone there to gather your thoughts about how to break the news to him that after almost a year of trying you had finally got a positive pregnancy test. It was also the place you'd both gone together to digest the information that it was twins.
And just last year it was the place that you had both taught Jack and Izzy to ride their bikes without stabilizers, while Monty chased the stupid ducks by the pond.
It was your special place and somewhere you came everyday when you were in the UK. When the twins were younger and before they started school you would spend a good amount of time in the U.S. at the L.A. home, but now Niall only went over there when he needed to and would only spend leisure time there if you were all with him.
He hates being apart from you all and it had devastated him at first when he toured last year and the twins had been at school for a lot of it. But Niall had gained what he had always hoped for, a long successful career with dedicated fans who had embraced you, Monty and the children.
You stood watching the twins scooter around the path with Monty bounding beside them, but then you had an overwhelming feeling that you were being watched. You had come to learn this feeling well in the first few years of your relationship. Knowing that Niall was a public figure and you were in a relationship meant you were also of interest. People took your photo without permission quite often, particularly here on the Common.
Looking behind you cautiously you saw Niall walking across the bridge with his Dad Bobby and his partner Aoife walking behind him. He still gave you butterflies in your tummy even after nine years together. He smiled and gave you a wave as they made their way over to you. Monty was next to spot him and he gave up on aggravating the ducks to race over to him. Jack was next, followed by Izzy and they sped over calling out to their Dad and Grandad.
"Hey stalker." You said to Niall as he came over to kiss you.
"Not stalking, you text me to tell me you were going to be here!" He smirked.
You looked over to see Izzy in deep conversation with Aoife. "And I did my writing homework but I left my school book as I wanted to read it with you."
"I'm sure we can look at that together, just make sure we help out with dinner and stuff for your Mum first though, ok?" Aoife replied.
As Bobby and Aoife finally reached you after being practically mauled by the twins they greeted you with a hug and a kiss each.
"I've prepped most of dinner while you were out, just need Pops to start up the bbq when we get back." You said looking at Bobby.
"I think I can manage that." He said rubbing his hands together. "I'm in a good mood after our win, think I'll have a couple of beers to celebrate. Speaking of football how did you do this morning Jack?"
"Really good and I scored a goal!" Jack said with a massive smile on his face.
He hadn't been happy about missing the game with Niall, but you'd only just managed to get him a slot on the football team after being on the waiting list for months. Niall had insisted that there would be other games he could take him to in the future that didn't clash with his practice.
"The Common always looks amazing on a summer afternoon doesn't it?" Aoife said as she leant down to give Monty some attention.
"It does, this place has always been something beautiful." Niall replied smiling as he looked at you, taking your hand in his.
18 notes
·
View notes
Text
Blueberries and Cowboys: Chapter 1
A choose-your-own-adventure style fic. First, 2 platonic chapters for set-up/build-up. And then, the story will split into 2 paths depending on your romantic pairing preference: You and Thrawn, or You and Eli.
Set Up: You are an outcast at the Imperial Academy, which means your only options for friends are the tall and stoic Chiss Mitth'raw'nuruodo and his translator from Wild Space Eli Vanto. The three of you get along, for the most part... Thrawn is obsessed with acing all the exams, Eli is desperate to show up his classmates, and you... well, you just want to feel like you belong somewhere. And hiding beneath it all are your unspoken feelings, longing to be realized, but fearful of ruining the balance of your trio's friendship....
Chapter Masterlist
Chapter 1: The Problem
Pairing: None yet, just a nice friendship trio
Chapter Warnings: Mentions of bullying
Length: 2k
AO3 Link (In case you like it better over there, it’s okay, no judgement)
You wound down the hallways of the building with a scowl on your face. You would never grow used to this ridiculously long walk, from your first class of the day to the next, so conveniently located on complete opposite sides of the facility. Whoever had designed your schedule this year was either an utter imbecile or had done so on purpose, just to tick you off. At this point in your education here at the Imperial Academy, you knew either scenario was equally likely. You weren't exactly liked by the staff or your peers, and there were plenty of idiots to go around.
The one saving grace of your journey was that you would eventually cross paths with the only two friends you had managed to make in this elitist hell-hole: Eli Vanto and Mitth'raw'nuruodo.
Eli would be the first, his class letting out just a few corridors away from yours. He was leaning against an alcove in the wall just out of the way of passing traffic, his usual spot. When you rounded the corner, he pushed off and fell into step beside you.
"What happened?" you asked, having noticed he was scowling as well. His resting face usually made him look like a sad puppy, so for him to have such a prominent frown this early in the morning, something really upsetting must have happened.
"Lost the debate," he grumbled.
Ah, you'd forgotten he had that today. You and Thrawn had helped him practice for weeks, covering every possible argument and rebuttal from his opponent on the assigned topic. He had it in the bag, or so you'd all thought.
"What? How? Don't tell me you got stage-fright."
He glared over at you. "No, I wasn't nervous or anything. I did everything perfect. But all Arden had to do was throw in a few snide remarks about my accent and that got the whole class turned in his favor."
Eli started biting down on one of his nails in frustration. You frowned along with him. That was a variable none of you had accounted for while practicing.
"Is Arden the pimply-faced guy?"
"Yeah."
"Hate him," you muttered.
"Yeah."
The two of you paused at the doors of a lift, waiting for the previous occupants to exit before filing in yourselves and punching the button for the next level up. Eli was still chewing on his nails.
"Stop," you exclaimed, swatting his hand away from his mouth. "I told you that's a bad habit."
"Oh yeah, what's this then?" He grabbed one of your hands and twisted it around so you could see the splotches of chipped polish on your nails.
You jerked your hand away and held it defensively against your chest. "There's only so much I can do with this insane caseload, okay? I haven't had time to think about my nails."
"Then why'd you paint 'em in the first place?" he said with a bit of a laugh. Well, at least his mood was improving, even if it was at your expense.
You swatted at him just as the lift doors opened. "Maybe I want to try feeling pretty sometimes, not like some zombie student."
You both were keenly aware that the cadets waiting to board the lift had backed up significantly as you passed, despite not having been in your way at all. They were all whispering too, and by the tone, it was probably not about very nice things. It was always like that, wherever you went. Even if they didn't know your reputations of being from wild, "backwater" planets, they need only hear one of you speak to know you were different. And in these Core worlds, different was inferior.
"You know you don't have to follow our course map, right?" Eli spoke up again, once you'd put some distance between the lift of sneering cadets. "Me, I don't have a choice. Thrawn's determined to graduate in as little time as possible, and I'm the sorry sucker who has to follow 'im. I'd run far away from the guy if I were you. Enjoy your freedom."
Eli complained about the last member of your trio, Thrawn, at least six times a day. And half of those complaints ended with him telling you to make a break for it. You knew he didn't mean any of it; the two of you had spent the last holiday break at a bar, and in his drunkenness, Eli had confessed to being secretly grateful for having met the Chiss. He only complained to cope with the stress.
And you... well, you weren't really sure why they let you hang around. They'd both easily become your closest friends, but you weren't always sure where you stood with them. Maybe they did like your company. Or maybe they just felt sorry for you. They were both friendly enough, allowing you to join them on Thrawn's "fast track" out of the Academy. But you had a feeling that as soon as you all graduated, they'd leave you behind and move on to whatever mission the Emperor had planned for Thrawn in the Navy.
You tried not to think about it too much.
Speaking of your friend, Mitth'raw'nuruodo emerged from a classroom doorway just a few paces ahead. Right on time, as always. His specialized "tactical statistics" class ended several minutes ago, but he had learned to carefully time your path so he wouldn't have to stand awkwardly in the hall waiting. It was for the best; you and Eli may sometimes draw unwanted attention, but poor Thrawn always stood out like a very big, very blue sore thumb.
"We have a problem," he stated, coming up on your other side. You never had to ask Thrawn what was wrong; if he had a problem worth sharing, you would hear about it.
"Hallway problem or 'fresher problem?" asked Eli.
You'd all agreed long ago there were some topics of conversation best had out of earshot from any passerby. And since most scurried out of the refresher whenever Thrawn went in, that became the only suitable place for such conversations, if it couldn't wait until your dorms at the end of the day.
"Refresher," Thrawn said. He looked down at you. "You'll be late for your class."
You shrugged. "If it's important...."
"It is."
You trusted him; he wasn't the type to make up drama or blow things out of proportion. The three of you picked up the pace, turning right instead of the usual left, and slipping into the men's bathroom. Thankfully it was already empty. Eli turned the lock just in case.
Thrawn wasted no time diving into the particulars. "I have come to learn our flight instructor, Commander Burdick, intends to sabotage my simulation tests next month. He is acquainted with Admissions Supervisor Aberdeen and understands that a failing mark will require a remedial course before being allowed back into the program. This would set my graduation back several months."
That was a problem. The flight course was one of the longer ones, and mandatory, and you were all so close to finally being through with it. Just one more round of simulation tests and then an actual flight around Coruscant.
Eli was groaning by the door. "You've gotta be kidding."
"I am not," said Thrawn in a measured voice. He knew it was just an expression, but you knew it was one of his pet peeves.
Eli wasn't listening, instead kicking at the tiled floor and mumbling about how this was so typical and why can't we just be left alone.
You turned to Thrawn. "Just you?"
"The ill will seems to be mostly directed toward me. Supervisor Aberdeen does not appreciate the special provisions that have been afforded me on behalf of the Emperor, and has coerced Commander Burdick to indulge in his spitefulness. However, I would not put it past them to also have plans for either of you, as well. They are aware of our... connection."
You were certain he was about to say friendship but changed his mind. Did he not know the word for it? Was he too embarrassed to admit it? Or did he truly not see you or Eli as anything more than connections?
"Okay, but..." Eli was still processing things. "How? What's their plan?"
"I purposefully said the Commander intended to sabotage the tests. He does not yet have a plan."
"So... we stop 'im," said Eli.
"Or," you countered, a mischievous smirk playing about your lips. "We don't."
Eli merely blinked at you, but Thrawn was very interested. "Go on," he encouraged.
"If we learn what the plan is, or maybe even give him a plan of our own, then we can let it play out and ensure he gets in trouble for it."
Thrawn rubbed his chin as he considered. You knew he'd soon slip into his usual routine of pacing and muttering in unknown languages, which could take a while and make you even later for your class. You cleared your throat, drawing his two red eyes back to yours.
"Surely a Commanding Officer wouldn't dare do anything to sabotage you directly," you offered. "He'll either look for some help or pin it on someone else, in case there's an investigation."
Thrawn rubbed his chin again. "You think we should influence the Commander on who to pick to be his... what do you call it, ensipki?"
"Scapegoat," Eli said quickly. It was becoming second nature for him to translate what was left of the holes in Thrawn's understanding of Basic.
"Right, and then we can expose the deception just before the tests," you said. "Before there's time to come up with another plan."
Thrawn's eyes narrowed in thought. "A decent idea, but it would require the education of one of our fellow cadets to be jeopardized. It should not be our first plan."
"But if he's going to use one of them anyway..." you started to protest.
"Then we should seek to expose his connection to that person as well. This is an instructor who is not serving the best interest of several of his students. He should be the only one blamed."
You weren't going to let his logic win this time. As far as you could tell, this was a perfect opportunity to get revenge on your obnoxious classmates. "It's going to be a lot easier to take issue up with the Board against a student than an instructor. We can try to expose both people, but if we can't, then at least we can nail one of them. It's called a scapegoat for a reason."
Eli spoke up before Thrawn could respond, throwing you a meaningful look. "Arden's in his class. Different time, same instructor."
"Who is this Arden?" asked Thrawn.
"The racist asshole who unfairly stole Eli's grade on the debate today," you said. You'd picked your words deliberately, and it did the trick.
"Very well. We have our scapegoat," said Thrawn.
You winked at Eli and he hid a smile.
"So," Thrawn continued, fully invested now. "We will need to push Arden toward the Commander as a viable accomplice. We will need to gain insight into the details of their plan. And then we will need to ensure those details are brought to light at the right moment."
The three of you looked among each other. This was probably the tenth plan this year alone that you'd all devised to take care of some kind of "problem." Just last week Thrawn had discovered misinformation in one of your textbooks that took the three of you on a field trip to the lower levels of Coruscant to find a con-artist who'd sold a quarter-hundred counterfeit materials to the Academy library. You'd only had the weekend to catch up on all the rest of your homework, and here you all were again, ready to jump into another scheme.
You had suggested the idea, so you were already grinning and ready to go. Thrawn had just put together a to-do list, and you could almost see the gears in his head continuing to spin as he determined more points to the plan.
The deciding vote was Eli. Though he often complained about not having a choice, you and Thrawn rarely forced him to do anything and were always respectful if he had a differing opinion. This time, you had a feeling he'd be on board.
He set his hands on his hips and smirked. "Disgracing a shitty classmate and a shitty teacher in order to save our grades? Let's do it."
Next Chapter: The Plan >
#star wars#thrawn#eli vanto#thrawn x reader#eli vanto x reader#choose your own adventure#friendship#romance#mitth'raw'nuruodo
48 notes
·
View notes
Note
Chromeskull falling for the reader whose a Burlesque Dancer who wears a revealing Bride of Frankenstein costume that shows off childhood scars that have tattoos to look like stitches over them.
Chromeskull x Reader- Freakish Proposition
Authors Note: Writing again for my 6′7 tall husband....and also trying to get back into the writing game more.
Warning: None
Words: 2.1k
Jesse Cromeans was an extrovert by any means and the nature of his business got him into all type of places, especially exclusive clubs varying from classy snobby ones to stripper nightclubs to the more unusual ones, so no wonder that Halloween was to be spent into a night of fine alcohol and possibly some piggy hunting into these nightclubs.
Halloween meant that he could be more of Chromeskull and less Jesse Cromeans, wearing the chromed skull mask was giving him a boost of power and confidence, not like he really needed it, but for Jesse there was never enough, call him a greedy bastard, but that's how you get successful and respected into the world of the rich and nasty.
Humans were like animals in Jesse's opinion, even him, but here depends on what animal you are according to the food chain, and Jesse was definitely an apex predator and what does a predator do? Stalk piggies and tear them apart, limb by limb.
Nightclubs were the perfect environment for piggies, especially the exclusive ones because all piggies had to do to get a free ticket inside was flash some skin, push their chest out, and bat their eyelashes, looking for a fat walking wallet full of money to support their needs. They didn't care who it was as long as they were buying the piggy the last Gucci purse and gifted them a Porsche for their birthday.
It was the cruel reality of what relationships were like nowadays; there was no such thing as love, it was all business under the facade of sweet-talking and arms holding. Jesse didn't mind cruelty, it was one of his top characteristics, one that gained him his status in society; no wonder men wanted to be in his Oxford shoes and women to choke on his cock in an attempt to get a fancy dinner and a bottle of Moet.
He loved the dim-lit nightclubs, he was accustomed to the eerie vibe it gave, after all, the most interesting part of his life happened at night, and the fact that everyone's attention was pulled on the highlighted stage gave him the opportunity to observe more; more piggies to kill and from the audience sitting at the tables, close to the old geezers, he had plenty to choose from.
The show was about to start in 15 minutes, so he took his time, a waitress coming to deliver a bottle of Lagavulin, a whiskey glass, and a small bucket of ice. She poured Jesse the expensive liquor into the crystal glass, adding two cubs of ice, and he was more than amused when she tried to flash him a view of her cleavage; desperate piggy.
He could see from behind the mask how the other piggies observed; they were predators too in a way, but cheaper ones, their eyes always scanning what the men ordered because that showed how much money they had.
You don't just simply go to a man who orders one glass of cheap vodka over one who had a whole bottle of a 16-year-old fine whiskey.
Tattooed hands pulled the chromed mask off, and from the corner of his eyes, he could read the disgust on the piggies across the room as they took in his scarred face. He got used to such reactions, but flash a stack of money in their faces and the botoxed bimbos will be on their knees, worshipping his cock.
Jesse wondered how their lips would look cut off and showed up their loose cunts, while their eyes would be filled with tears, blood pouring out of each cut on their caked up skin, each cut deeper than the last.
He was pulled out of his sadistic daydream by a voice announcing that the show will start in 10 seconds and a chorus of applause followed as the red curtain drapes moved to each side, the slow jazz music started as did the girls on the stage started their dancing.
One girl, in particular, pulled on Jesse's attention, unlike the other females, her attire and make-up were different, declaring that she was the lead one, and his assumptions were approved as she started to sing, or better said, you started to sing, the slow beat of the music picking up speed as did the sensual moves.
Unlike the other dancers who wore white, your attire was as black as night, with lace details, a tight corset that made the bald man feel jealous. Most would say that your outfit was skimpy, but that's how the burlesque dancers were supposed to be dressed; sexy, sensual, and very appealing to the eye, and God how much you caught Mr. Cromeans brown eye.
Not only were you a vixen in black lace, but also very adorable, your smile and sparkling eyes showing that you were genuine having the time of your life. Jesse is a very observant man and couldn't ignore the tattoo sleeves down your arms; red and black roses are adorned by delicate barbed wire representing stitches.
If Jesse knew something very well, it was the ink on the skin and could identify scars under the intricate designs, and sure as hell, you were hiding quite a lot for such a delicate, little thing; well, everything was little compared to his intimidating height. It was very unusual to see scars nowadays on women; maybe you had a toxic and abusive relationship, maybe a destructive childhood?
He was getting curious and not even the depraved looks from the piggies around him got his attention, and that said something because he wasn't on to pass up the opportunity to slaughter some beef. He was more interested in the little ghoul on the stage; you finished your performance and bowed with a grin, waving around, the audience clapping and some wolf-whistling, the scarlet curtain falling down and hiding the stage.
Taking one sip of his whiskey, he saw you march up to the bar in a happy skip like you didn't have a care in the whole world. He snapped his fingers and motioned for the waitress to come to him which she happily did.
"What can I do for you, Sir?" she asked, batting her eyelashes, not at all impressing Jesse.
'Her. Tell her to come over here.' he typed on the phone then showed the waitress, who dropped her sugar-sweet attitude and rolled her eyes.
Note: Hang the waitress by her guts later.
You were ready to get a drink for yourself too after the performance, but someone tapped you on the shoulder. Turning around you saw it was Tina, who had a scowl on her face.
"That bald guy over there wants to talk with you." she told you, then just like that left. You furrowed your eyebrows and finally, your gaze landed on the said man, who motioned for you with a curled finger to come to him.
Curiosity took over you and you moved over to him.
"Yes? May I help you?" you asked and you noticed that he was typing on the phone, then an electronic voice startled you.
'Sit down. I could use some company.'
Well, that certainly took you by surprise; one that he wanted your company when he could get any waitress or glamorous trophy girl from this nightclub, and two...He was mute....That or either he was some weirdo who hated to talk.
You did as he wanted, taking a seat across from him, looking down at your hands, not knowing exactly what to discuss with him, not to mention he didn't even tell you his name, so you decided to start with that, introducing yourself.
'Jesse Cromeans, a pleasure to meet you, little ghoul.' you really needed to get used to that spooky electronic voice from his phone.
"Actually, I was supposed to be Frankensteins Bride, but it turned out to be more of a ghoul." you said with a nervous chuckle, which he returned with a smirk, one that seemed to suit him, despite the scars he had, he was...unique; not necessarily handsome or drop-dead beautiful, but he had that specific charisma that drew people in like an aphrodisiac.
'And where is your Frankenstein?' You had to stifle a laugh at his humorous question, so might as feel continue to entertain him.
"Probably in a coffin." you answered, making Jesse's smirk devilish so like you said something very appealing and familiar.
"Seriously, no. No undead husband or boyfriend." you said, licking your dry lips. You really needed a drink and like Jesse could read body language he called upon the waitress again, and you ordered your favorite.
'White Russian? I pictured you more of a Bloody Mary.'
Again, you smiled and laughed.
"Not a fan of tomato juice. If I had to choose a red drink, maybe cherry or strawberry." you responded.
Although your answers seemed all casual and not even flirty, to Jesse they triggered the killer side, because when you're a very sleek serial killer like Chromeskull, you got a dark sense of humor.
'Performing again next weekend?'
"No. This was just a one-time thing, I'm not exactly a showgirl and if I'm gonna be honest the only reason I was so relaxed was because of the make-up that made me look like a monster girl." you answered, taking a sip of your drink.
'If not a showgirl, then what?'
Jesse was simply curious; if she wasn't a performer here then with what was she filling her time, what did she worked as?
"I am studying medicine, but it's not exactly the path I've wanted." you said with a sigh, your cheerful mood dropping.
'Interesting. The medicine you say? And why did you choose it if you don't like it?'
"No, no! I like...well, liked it, but let's say it's not cheap to stay for so many years in college and I don't wanna burden my parents with the taxes that are way out of their limit."
A good-hearted piggy? That was something new.
'How did you managed to get so far if you say the taxes are way over your budget?'
He was pretty much dissecting her, he wanted to know more; and it wouldn't really surprise him if she said that she did unorthodox things for money, most girls in college do.
"Well, when I finished high-school I went to military school and went for two years in Afganistan, but you know...not the perfect environment for a small girl like me so I came back to try something else. I chose medicine, I was really curious about it, and with the money from the military years, I managed to pay my taxes until now.
Military? That would explain the scars, you don't need to be a detective to put the pieces together.
'Now?'
"Now? I work three jobs; at a library, as a waitress for a kids' restaurant, and recently here, but I think I'm gonna pass....Skimpy clothes aren't my cup of tea." you said, pulling out a pack of cigarettes, putting one between red-painted lips, only to be snatched away by Jesse.
You looked at him with a dumbfounded look.
'Talk. Smoking later.'
You sighed, not in the mood to make a scene over a cigarette, plus he seemed like the type who will have his way no matter what.
"What else do you want to know?"
'Amuse me.'
You snorted at that.
"What do you want me to juggle with knives?" you asked in a sassy tone.
Oh, piggy....That would definitely be entertaining.
'I have a proposition for you. If it's really your dream to be a surgeon and dissect people, I can help you get through with taxes.'
"I'm not a prostitute, jerk." you quickly said, probably it was a bit rude, and in other circumstances, Jesse would have bend over the said person and decapitate said piggy, but he was more amused and gave you a silent laugh.
'As much as tempting that sounds, no. I can help you pay the taxes; I can offer you a decent job that won't involve parading for old geezers...but if you want to spice things up I won't deny it.'
Was he really hitting on you?
"I didn't picture you for a philantroph." you responded, earning an arrogant smirk from Jesse, who lightened up the cigarette that he snatched from you, blowing a cloud of smoke in your direction.
'I can be many things, sugar....What do you say?'
Debating a little and looking down at your remaining drink in hand, you chose.
"I'm listening."
'Sweet. I knew you would see things my way.'
#chromeskull#laid to rest 2009#chromeskull: laid to rest 2012#Jesse Cromeans#chromeskull x reader#jesse cromeans x reader#slasher x reader#horror movies
127 notes
·
View notes
Text
Cordy the vampire slayer
Cordy and Buffy Bodyswap au
Request: Hi, if you have time could you write a Buffy and Cordelia Body Swap fanfic? Set in the early episodes of Season 2? Giles tells Buffy about a special holiday for slayers, where the slayer can temporarily switch bodies with anyone she chooses and after an argument with Cordy, Buffy accidentally makes her choice. The only problem was that Giles never got to finish telling Buffy how long the switch would last — three months!
Requested by: Anon + @archiefan23
A/N: Just a little warning that Cordy kisses Angel as Buffy at one point. I really enjoyed this one !! Sorry it took so long to post love 💖
It was late morning. But the heat was rising by the minute. It was the kind of sunny day that held a multitude of possibilities. The temperature in the high school library was warmer still, but not uncomfortably so. It surrounded them in a glow that marked the beginning of summer. The kind of summer they hoped would spell demons and the like taking the same long break to sunbathe as they wished to.
Giles was in his usual suit, he wore his old faithful no matter the weather. The others figured there must be some kind of magic, breathable material tailored to him as otherwise he would be sweating buckets.
Xander, Buffy and Cordelia were waiting for Willow to arrive as Giles paced, figuring out how exactly to begin his speech without boring the teenagers to death. Unfortunately, this particular battle was one that would never be won.
Willow arrived, apologising and rushing to sit beside Xander giving him a bright smile. Giles nodded at her before turning to reveal
Giles sets the green, jagged stone in the centre of the table. Everyone just stared. It had begun to glow. The first time in a few decades.
“In every generation-”
“Oh I know this one!”
“-Yeah, there is a chosen one, yada yada-”
“No, well – yes. But, that was not what I was explaining. It is good, however, that you do actually heed what I tell you”
“God, Giles, nobody can forget it”
“I have dreams of that speech” Willow agreed.
“Nightmares” Xander added, shuddering.
“Yes, well, moving on from that enthused rally of support – in every generation there is a moment in the Slayer’s life where her consciousness may switch with that of a human. It is tradition that this would allow her to hone her skill and-”
“Well, I’m sold” Buffy shrugged, thinking of all of the free time she could have.
“-It was, ah, a vacation in some way and in others it was a sentence upon the woman that she swapped forms with”
“A sentence? Like, she had to write a paper on being a Slayer for the day? That’s horrible” Cordy said as Willow and Xander rolled their eyes at each other.
“Well, no – no nothing like this. The woman would endure being the slayer and survive unscathed would walk on the path of the righteous. She could be mythologised depending on how well she adapts to the gift”
“Yeah, like it could even be that hard!” Cordelia immediately scoffed whilst filing her nails.
“You wouldn’t last a minute, Cor”
“Oh yeah? Try me. I could slay twice as good as you!” she insisted indignantly, her hands on her hips.
“Yeah but Buffy would still get all the credit – you would be operating her body like some kind of whacky sci-fi feature” Xander added which made Cordy consider it. But, nonetheless she snatched up the stone and gestured for Buffy to do the same.
“Well, like, we would all know”
Buffy was pleased, mostly she wanted to have the day off. She thought Cordy had a pretty sweet gig. She was popular, athletic and people seemed to respect her. Plus she had seen the barista in the local coffee shop always gave her free Frappuccino’s.
So, they agreed. Giles asked several times if they were sure and they both raised an eyebrow and tried to get him to hurry up. Cordy decided she could track Devon down and show him exactly what he deserved for ignoring her for so long.
Giles put his hands over theirs who were clasped around the stone, palms glowing green as he recited the ancient rites. They stared at each other, their own bodies and facial expressions looked almost alien. It was really strange and Buffy couldn’t stop staring down at Cordy’s hands that were now hers.
The bell went and everyone went their separate ways. This could be fun, both thought at the exact same time. Cordy and Buffy couldn’t stop beaming for the entire day. They were really enjoying the swap. Cordelia would even write a paper on her day she was in such a good mood.
Cordy immediately skipped her morning classes and went to the beauty salon, to try and do something about Buffy’s hair and nightmare she called nailbeds. She was doing the girl a favour and it relaxed her anyway.
She found Devon and flipped him over her head with ease, warning him to call Cordelia back which he insisted he would and scrambled away. She dusted her hands off and put her hands on her hips proudly.
Buffy on the other hand went to all of Cordelia’s classes with little to think about other than whether that hot guy at the back was staring at her. She could just sit there with little expectation of her and enjoy it. She didn’t have to think about anything and it was really fun. She didn’t even mind sitting for Harmony for half an hour discussing the merits of a new hair serum.
It was going well. That first day was the easiest one and they were both convinced the other had it easy still. That was, until the revelation Giles was about to bestow on them. It was the end of the day and both met at the Library at the end of the day.
They returned to Giles in order to switch back. They just presumed this holiday was for a day before they were allowed to turn back. When they said this, Giles had to break it to them. Giles squinted, realising he hadn’t explained properly. They would be doing this for three months. At this revelation both of them began speaking over each other in their horror.
“That’s not a vacation, that’s squatting! This is a human rights violation, she should be paying rent to be living in there” Cordelia, from inside Buffy’s body, screeched.
“You should call your lawyer. Oh, wait – is he my lawyer now?” Buffy asked, deep in thought.
“Perhaps, uh, this will prove a pivotal part of understanding the other’s-”
“Oh my God! This is so not happening!” Cordelia spoke over Giles’ probably very profound explanation and instead stormed away.
She got in her car and started to drive towards her house, realising that she couldn’t go home. She scowled and reversed, driving to Revello Drive and tried to figure out which of the tiny box rooms was hers.
Buffy stayed with Giles and tried to see if there was a quick fix, but there was honestly nothing that he could do. He offered to drive her to Cordelia’s house and insisted that he would be there for her and Cordelia for the next few months.
The first month:
It had been a struggle. Neither of them were communicating much and Gies had insisted that the slayer still had to
It was ruining Cordy’s social life (not that she was convinced that Buffy had one anyway). She turned up to school after being driven by Joyce which she found kind of embarrassing but again, didn’t really mind seeing as nobody would know it was her.
Buffy’s arm was in a sling as she walked through the corridors. Cordelia had been trying to slay the night before and had fallen awkwardly onto her arm. No thanks to the real Buffy, who hadn’t come to help her.
As she was passed by herself, she reached and clasped her good hand around her wrist and pulled her with her. She tried to struggle but her new superstrength gave her the upper hand.
“Bathroom. Now!” Cordy squinted at herself and pulled Buffy with her again when she didn’t move of her own accord. Cordelia checked that the bathroom was empty before rounding on her.
“You know… if that happened last night your arm should be healed. Benefit of the slayer deal” Buffy offered before she could open her mouth, still trying to get used to navigating Cordelia’s body.
“Oh, yeah, I know - it’s fine. I just wanted a little sympathy but everyone kinda ignores you in the halls, huh?” she muttered, taking the sling from her shoulder and trashing it.
“Well-”
“Not the point! Where were you last night?! There was a vampire and it was like he knew every punch I was gonna throw!”
“How rude of him”
“I know!” Cordy agreed before stopping, realising Buffy wasn’t actually as invested as she was.
It was weird to Buffy how easily she had slid into being the popular girl again but it was a complete breath of relief. As if the entire world had been removed from her shoulders. She felt so much lighter.
“Ugh, just ‘cause you’re so boring and take slaying so seriously and vampires are like obsessed with you doesn’t mean that you have to be such a bitch!”
“I’m a bitch? You’re the queen of b-”
“You’re so gonna regret this, Buffy, I could make your high school career a living hell! Worse than any Hellmouth-!”
“Do you know what? I’m Cordelia Chase – I don’t take crap from anyone! Have a nice slay, oh, I mean day!” Buffy smiled overly sweetly before walking away. Cordy screamed in frustration, slamming her hand against a bathroom stall and ending up punching her entire fist through it in her frustration. Leaving her screaming again, but this time the door took the brunt of her annoyance.
After their exchange in the bathroom, both women decided they were going to make the most of the swap. By messing with the other and their lives. They were set on annoying the other just like they annoyed them.
Both ended up bickering more than usual if they ever saw passed each other. They started to say things or do things slightly out of character to annoy the person whose real life it was. This carried on for a few weeks. Cordelia started to show her strength more obviously, making more and more people question Buffy. Buffy started to pretend she couldn’t pick up even the easiest part of choreography for cheerleading.
Then, one day something happened that Cordelia saw as the final straw. Buffy walked in, as Cordelia, with her hair in a complete mess. She didn’t style Cordy’s hair and walked around all day with a birds nest. Cordy grabs her and tries to style it out, attacking her with a hair brush.
“Does my face really do that when I’m annoyed?”
“All the time” She replied, rolling her eyes. She tried to brush her hair again, but it was no use.
“No, I think the style’s really gonna catch on” Cordelia’s own face was smiling infuriatingly back at her. She was horrified. She was sure that she would never live this down. Her hair looked horrific.
“Fine. Then- then I’ll let everyone know I’m a slayer. I’m sure your Mom-”
“Cordelia! You can’t!”
“Then someone will have to discover that a tangle teaser is our friend”
Buffy soon realises that Cordelia means it and eventually gives in, which allows them a tenuous truce from there on in.
Cordelia and Buffy walked back home in the dark together, mostly in silence. They walk side by side until Buffy says goodnight and walks towards Cordelia’s house which would probably be empty when she got there. Cordelia warned her she wasn’t allowed to drive her car, she didn’t trust her.
It suddenly begins to hit each of them though, as they walked their separate ways. That their lives aren’t quite as easy as they expected.
Cordy realised she’s suddenly making all the tough decisions. The responsibility on her shoulders. Everyone automatically looked at her for guidance, to make the decisions – just because she had Buffy’s face. It was actually really hard.
Not to mention, Joyce’s parenting style was almost suffocating to her and Cordelia barely held back her snapping. She wasn’t used to someone asking after her every movement.
Plus, it was absolutely exhausting juggling slaying, sneaking out and pretending to be normal. She didn’t know why Buffy bothered. Because some gross men said so, like years ago? Cordy insisted if she was Buffy she would have quit. But, again, here she was still playing along even for the next few months without refusing to slay.
Meanwhile, Buffy was feeling how acutely Cordelia’s loneliness appeared to bleed into every aspect of her life. At home, she wasn’t really listened to no matter how rude or loud that she was. Her parents were rarely ever present and when they were it was to give her gifts to make up for all the time they were about to spend away again.
Buffy didn’t enjoy hanging out with Harmony and the rest of Cordy’s friends. None of them seemed to genuinely care about the other. Or share any meaningful bond. In fact, it didn’t seem that they cared for anyone except themselves and as soon as one walked away, they appeared to immediately begin to be rude about the others.
These new realities they have been planted in, these new perspectives gave them both something to think on. But it didn’t take from the fact that they were still so very annoyed with the other.
Month Two:
They had a lot of time to think, while living the other’s life. There was chance to reflect on themselves and the life of the other. In some sense, they were jealous and completely relieved there was an end to this.
The pair had began to bond a little more since the previous month where they were at each other’s throats. There was something about literally living another’s life that made them suddenly bonded together. Even if they didn’t really want to be.
Buffy just tried to avoid Cordy’s friends as much as possible rather than being rude to them. She didn’t want to upset Cordelia’s chance at popularity too much – she was starting to get it now, it was the way that Cordy could feel better about herself.
Towards the end of the second month, Cordelia had got into the swing of slaying by herself since those first rocky weeks. She found herself enjoying the daily exercise routine (she decided she would totally be bringing that back with her when they swapped back).
Cordelia and Buffy had been spending a lot more time together. Cordelia was in her own room – finally. Buffy’s home was a lot smaller, something she called ‘cute’ to her face but Buffy knew what she meant by it.
“When you said have a walk in your shoes, I wasn’t expecting to have to run the vampire-mile in last season’s boots” Cordy huffed, combing through the blonde hair she was still trying to get accustomed to while she looked in the mirror. She was getting angry at it, it was near-impossible to maintain in the way she was used to. Buffy always made it look so pretty. She missed her own brunette hair. She missed the way people would cower as she walked through the halls. She missed not having to
But, she liked that she could relax around the Scoobies and not have to worry about her image, not that she would admit it of course.
“Well, I always wear a heel that has a supportive ankle - y’know, for maximum slayage” Buffy shrugged and smiled, filing her nails in the way that Cordelia usually would. The change was a lot easier for Buffy seeing as this was the life she lived in Emery. It was sort of nostalgic to relive her more carefree years.
“It’s not even that hard, Cordelia. I mean, I don’t know how you hang out with Harmony and those other girls. They’re so shallow and kinda cruel” Buffy held herself back from including Cordy in the kind of girl that was cruel too.
Buffy, despite noticing the drawbacks of Cordy’s life really needed the holiday. She didn’t have any responsibility. She didn’t have to lift a finger at home and she could basically do whatever she liked whenever she liked. Cordelia’s parents barely even saw her.
“But, it never stops! Ever!”
“You’re doing this for what? Another month. You’re doing such a great job – really. Just let me have this last month and then everything goes back to normal”
“That’s easy for you to say! I mean, I have to be the Slayer and what? No soul-having hunk of goodness on my arm!?” Cordelia continued to whine as she got the comb caught in her blonde hair again. She tugged too hard and snapped the object clean in half. She groaned in annoyance. That was the last straw. She huffed and threw the pieces of the comb to the vanity table.
Buffy bit back a smile at Cordy’s overreaction. It was the opposite for her, an inconvenience not to have her strength. She felt weak and had a newfound appreciation for how her friends managed to fight vampires without any powers at their disposal.
However, Cordelia was sick of superstrength and vampire dust that seemed to get everywhere. This gave her an idea that would stay in the back of her mind. Cordy remembered that Angel had been out of town and would be returning for Buffy’s birthday. Interesting.
Buffy looked up, feeling sorry for Cordy. She knew how it felt to be out of your depth and she didn’t have the same kind of support system that Buffy did. Despite Buffy enjoying the freedom she had, she knew that this meant Cordelia wasn’t close with her parents. And her friends were shallow and wholly unsupportive. This realisation is why she offered what she did.
“Cordy? I can help, you know. With the slaying” Buffy offered softly. She was starting to realise she had just left Cordelia to it. Had begun by making her actual life harder too. It made the other woman look over, raising an eyebrow.
“Why would you want to help me?” Cordelia squinted as if she was suspicious, but Buffy just shrugged.
It made each woman think about why they had agreed to swap and what it would mean to work together rather than struggle alone. They nodded at each other, not really sure where they stood with the other.
Month three:
By the third month, both women knew the drill. Buffy would help train Cordelia and provide her with the most knowledge she could about slaying and how to improve. Which, the girl was surprisingly taking in her stride. She had slain three vampires by herself and with a very artistic flourish the night previous.
Cordelia used Buffy’s strength to her advantage spinning into a kick that would have made her overbalance before. She landed a few blows this time before she was thrown into a gravestone. She got up immediately, not allowing herself to stay down. She then charged at the vampire, plunging the stake into his chest leaving him dust in the wind.
She grinned in excitement. It truly was getting easier that slaying gig. She knew she was right – she could totally do it.
“Yeah! Take that, creep!” Cordy shouted at the pile of dust before jumping up and down over how easily she had taken that vamp down.
“Now we just need to work on your puns” Buffy added, her arms crossed as she watched.
“Only people with nothing interesting to say uses puns… oh, and you, obviously” Cordy added with a little shrug. They decided to call it a night and both were only hoping that no apocalypses threatened whilst they were still swapped. She was getting good but still.
During this time, Cordelia had also given Buffy pointers about how to enhance her popularity. To follow the age-old saying ‘Be more Cordy’. She helped her make up with Harmony by buying her something expensive and definitely not apologising to her.
It was still hard and Cordelia was always complaining whilst simultaneously gushing about the work-out routine she was picking up from this swap. She insisted she was going to do a slayer-inspired exercise video and make, like, millions from it which always made Buffy roll her eyes.
Buffy was sitting with her now usual gang of Cordettes hanging around her. She was counting to one hundred mentally in her mind until she would make an excuse and leave them to go to the library. She just hoped that she wouldn’t get seen entering again or face another war of passive-aggression with Harmony. This was one daily battle that she would rather take on an apocalypse over.
“So, what about you and Devon? He’s totally hot” Harmony afforded, “Not as much as my guy, obviously, but some people just have to lower their expectations right?” She smiled sweetly in that way Buffy had now become accustomed to.
“Yeah, Mr invisible sounds totally hot” Buffy quipped, knowing she could at least get away with that. It made the others giggle. Harmony always talking about this mystery guy but nobody had ever seen him.
Buffy sighed as she thought about all of the men she had encountered since she had swapped bodies with Cordy, and what they had propositioned to her at the Bronze. Buffy realised that men tended to try to use Cordelia and then just as quickly begin to ignore her. She does use her looks but she never ends up getting what she wants. She wants a committed relationship, companionship. It made Buffy really sad for her, she finally understood what Cordelia meant about being lonely despite having so many people around her.
She then turns to Harmony and insists, scarily exactly like Cordy would, that he was a total burnout loser with no prospects and even less in his pockets. Total no-go. The way gossip worked at Sunnydale, Devon would be blacklisted by anyone who was anyone by the final bell.
Which, is something she probably wouldn’t have done if she had known what Cordelia was planning to do that evening.
Cordy greeted Angel that evening and he smiled. It was Buffy walking towards him, how could he not smile? Angel opened his mouth to say something but she immediately crashed her lips to his. She kissed urgently, a hint of desperation and need that he would have found nice if it had actually been Buffy kissing him.
He frowned, somehow he could just sense that something wasn’t right. He stilled her, his hands on her upper arm. He pulls back, scanning her face. He squints, not sure if he should say something.
“You’re not…”
“Oh, come on… baby, I’m the slayer and you’re the soulfully good vampire. Let’s- do it” Cordy used her best seductive face, which admittedly worked better with her own features but she worked with what she had.
“Buffy, maybe we should… patrol” angel said, his voice wavered as his forehead furrowed. Something just wasn’t right.
Buffy sighed deeply and rolled her eyes and it reminded him of someone. She turned to leave but he called to her before she did, “Cordelia?” Angel tried and Buffy’s eyes met his immediately.
“How…?”
“You’re not her…” Angel admitted, looking at the floor.
“But I look like her, I’m stuck here with her entire wardrobe! What’s the big?” She sighed, her loneliness bubbling back to the surface. Ashe didn’t know whether to lash out or just cry at the rejection. She was a strong person and yet she was crumbling at the way that even as Buffy who appeared to have everything she couldn’t replicate it the same.
“Love isn’t about looks. Or, how nice your outfits are, which, um – they are pretty” He assured her, trying to soften the blow, “It-it’s something you feel deep inside. Something you know without having to question or second-guess yourself. It’s… her”
Cordy sat on the side of her bed and Angel sat beside her, comforting her. She was upset at this. Nobody had ever felt so deeply for her, she was sure of it. And it stung.
“Why does nobody like me for me? Why do I do everything and still have nobody?”
“You’re a great girl-” Angel started awkwardly, not really sure how to comfort the girl. But at these words, Cordelia suddenly stood up and left, running to Buffy’s house and hiding in her room. Just hiding her tears until she closed Buffy’s bedroom door behind her. She wanted a love story. Why did she feel like a secondary character in her own life?
The next day at school, it was finally the day. The day that Cordelia and Buffy were supposed to swap back.
Angel had explained to Buffy what had happened (although his eye contact was anywhere but her face as he found it weird to be so comfortable talking to Cordy this way). But rather than Buffy flipping out, as she might have done say three months earlier, she realised exactly why Cordy would have tried it on with Angel. Especially so after realising just how lonely it can be living Cordy’s life.
“Cor, I know what happened last night”
“Oh, yeah? What is loser just stamped on my forehead?” Cordy sighed and when she saw the look her own face was giving her she understood. Buffy wasn’t trying to be cruel or laugh at her rejection. She softened slightly, “I’m sorry okay? I am”
“Look, I know we’re not close-”
“And our hair is a very different style and texture” Cordy added without thinking.
“Our slaying abilities are different too” Buffy muttered under her breath and then shook her head at herself. She really was easily sucked into being the popular girl, “We’re not close but we’re a lot more similar than I ever thought. I get it, okay?”
Buffy took Cordelia’s hand in her own and offered her a comforting gesture. So much was left unsaid and yet both felt understood by the other in a way that had never really happened before.
“It’s tough at the top and we’re just both at the top of our worlds” Cordelia nodded along. Buffy’s the slayer of slayers and she slays the rest of the student body to be the most popular. It can be so lonely at the top and both understood the other in a much different way than they ever had before.
Cordy’s words made Buffy smile but she nodded. It was easier for Cordelia to express herself this way. Both of them were glad that they were changing back but they would miss the way that their weird friendship had blossomed through the last three months.
They understood completely now the pressure the other was under. Their points of view. Their lives. They were both hard in their own way. Maintaining Cordelia’s popularity alone was exhausting.
Giles returned to the library, nodding at the pair of them. Telling them that he was proud of the pair of them. Cordelia really had proved herself and Buffy had shown herself as someone who can support others and allow them to learn under her guidance. This admittance made both women gasp, both of them longed for a father figure and Giles saying this made both of them remember this moment for a long time after.
He recited the words, safe in the knowledge that both girls had learnt to work together in the way he had hoped upon his suggestion. Buffy needed to take a step back to have a break to appreciate her gift whilst understanding she had allies she could equally turn to for support.
A green hue lit up the room as their bodies swapped back. There was a final rush of cold air, making them both shiver and instinctually step back from each other.
This was right. Their own body, lives, returned to them. They shared a smile, a small nod of understanding before Buffy launched herself at Cordy. Pulling her into a hug. Both of their eyes were watering, it had been a long past three months.
The girls had never felt close, mostly because they hadn’t really understood the other. Not like this. But now they were sure that they would keep this bond for the rest of their lives.
#Cordelia Chase#Buffy Summers#Buffy#Cordy#btvs#btvs imagine#btvs fic#Buffy The Vampire Slayer#buffy the vampire slayer imagines#bodyswap au#bodyswap#buffyverse#buffy x cordelia#Buffy Summers x Cordelia Chase
31 notes
·
View notes
Text
A Matter of Choice. . .
[Something I’ve been wanting to write after beating chapter 8, I’m sure I got some thing wrong but anyways!]
SPOILER WARNING FOR CHAPTER 8
Sometime after the operation at Chernoborg, The Doctor known as Seira was walking into the medical wards wearing her complete outfit including her mask as she kept hold of her clipboard with a few pages stacked on each other. With her uncharacteristically precise movements, there was an important matter for her to be attending, using her card to enter a more secured room being approached by one of the many medics.
“D-Doctor, are you here to visit the patient. We were told to expect you. . .”
“Eh? You were?”
“Yes, Doctor Kal'tist was here a moment ago to oversee any changes that may be unusual. Once she was finished she left saying “Expect Doctor Seira to come here.” and shortly you arrived.”
“As expected of Doctor Kal'tist, could you maybe tell me how her mood was when she spoke to you.”
“J-just the usual mood. Why do you ask a strange question like that Doctor?”
“I was just curious.”
“Well, we were told to let you in as it was deemed safe.”
“And the patient's condition?”
The medic eyes look down giving anyone that had a basic understanding that it was grim. “We're not sure if he's going to be able to get out of the coma. . .”
“. . .It's going to be like what Kal'tist said. . .” Seira said under her breath remembering the words Kal'tist had spoken to her.
“What was that Doctor?”
“Nothing, I was just remembering something Kal'tist had said to me. Do you mind if I enter the room, in private?”
“. . .You want to go in and be alone with him?”
“Yes? Is that a problem?”
“N-no of course not but we can only give you only a few minutes”
“How much is a few?”
“About ten.”
“I can make do with that.”
“Then we will come around that time and let you know when you have to leave Doctor.”
“Very well and thank you.”
With that said the Doctor enters the room that contains a lot of medical equipment that caused plenty of different kinds of sounds inside and medical equipment attached to a single white-haired Liberi boy who is in a deep deep sleep. Seira stood in front of the door until she heard the door shut with the last medical personal leaving the room and with that she spoke not in her usual friendly matter but in a serious tone that few have only heard her behave like. Slowly she enters the center of the room where the Liberi was located, standing to stare at him through her helmet.
“Still in that coma, Mephisto?” She spoke to the Liberi as if thinking he was listening to her words, walking to his side and pulling a seat next to him.
“Been thinking how it came all to this, how someone can be so cruel and then the next moment desperate enough to use the machine for what? Thought understanding I came out like new you wanted that as well? Is that what you figured? Well, guess the fact of the matter is that we are two completely different people. You came out as a monster bird, spewing toxins and cause something frightening yet Kal'tist was able to operate on you to bring you back like this. As for me. . .”
She paused, looking to her side away from the unconscious body and slowly she places her hand up, removing both her hood and her mask to reveal a woman with long-blue hair and red eyes, a soft gentle face but one that was currently being stern with the seriousness of what the subject is and who she is next to in which she turned back to face him.
“. . . My memories reset after I apparently sustain heavily injury and I was bought here, this healed me and it only made me forget my past. A past that still affects me now, something I did so horrible and maybe even more than that it affects how some people view me. It sounded like I didn't choose to go inside even what I did, I was injured but you. . . You wanted to forget, forget everything that had happen to you and what you've done, when you figured you could use that machine you came to it, and yet this world is always so cruel.”
She took a pause as she lets out a sigh, thinking over the choices she had made and the ones she made concerning the one in front of her. Was it a good idea to treat him like a patient, think of him as some casualty, a lamentable outcome of some hideous logic even seeing the horrible deeds he had done? Perhaps it was the wrong choice to some, perhaps the right choice to others, and a choice that no one can really judge. Then it came up to another thought. . .
“I've killed someone's best friend, someone that was dear to another and that person will hold that against me forever. Even if I have forgotten I still live with those consequences, it's not just Kal'tist but also W who is explicit in making me know what kind of person I am not compared to what I was in the past. Then I guess the only reason I was the right choice to bring back was because of my usefulness and yet Amiya trusts me so much with her big heart. . . Maybe she doesn't know? So, if I came back normal because we are all so different maybe I'm a different kind of monster and I only forgot the kind of monster I was. It's hard to understand but I'm so different from every else and not just what Kal'tist mention. What am I? I can't be Sarkaz, Sankta, Feline, Perro, Liberi, Aegir, Cautus and all the others I know of. . . I'm just, Seira who has this strange body. . .”
After a small pause of the Doctor looking down, a break of a moment as she giggles softly with her voice in a moment of weakness to its usual tone “You know, Kal'tist told me not to say some of the stuff I've said here yet It's not like you're listening as you sleep deeply. Hahaha. . .”
She slaps her own knee gently and continues talking to the comatose body with her voice still in the usual tone that others are used to.
“. . . It would be real bad if you were, but that really depends if you really do wake up. . . “ Then her voice went back to being dead serious.
“. . .I didn't bring you here because I forgive your deeds, rather I want you to face the terrible actions you have done to everyone even if you don't want to remember. So the question is this, in this world that is cruel to the infected and to many others. What is crueler to you, letting you wake up from your coma, being reminded of what you did, and having to face not just your actions but the loss of people you were close to while having an extremely limited time or perhaps you dying right here slowly is crueler, destined to never wake up. As I said, I don't forgive what I know you've done but if you do wake up I'll come to you, and if you do want to proceed forward even if your time is only a few years, a year, 6 months, a month or even a few days. I will help you on your path of redemption as long you seek that hard path. After all, Kal'tist never said a specific short time so perhaps you can have a small-time alive. Whatever this world thinks is crueler is most likely what will happen to you, all I did was make a choice even if there is no real difference to the end result if you are just fated to die.”
“. . . .”
“. . . .Guess my next action is to ask Talulah about you. I don't want to ask her anything selfish, if she wants to make a decision on what she wants to do she has that freedom. Perhaps I just want to listen to her, know more about her, and learn a little more about Reunion. Of course, not just about you, but also FrostNova and Patriot, right, and what was that crossbow boy's name? Faust? Yeah, it was Faust.”
Seira could help but let out a chuckle, due to her speaking to a comatose body that most likely wasn't listening to her, guess it's a means to speak out her mind to herself using someone as a means while saying things she wanted to say to the boy. “. . . Can't believe I said all this, even taking off my mask and hood, guess it really doesn't matter. Rest well, Mephisto.”
With that said she places her hood and helmet back on, standing up and as she heads to the door the medic she had spoken to was opening to the door.
“Oh, Doctor. . . I was just about to say to you-.”
The Doctor interrupted the medic in her friendly tone. “Ten minutes has passed I'm guessing, I won't be coming back here anytime soon. Although, if I may make one request.”
The medic nods. “Of course, Doctor. What do you want?”
“If there are any signs of him waking up, let me know as soon as possible.”
“Yes, of course, Doctor but. . .”
“. . . I understand, the chances of that is immensely low. Still, the possibility is not 0%. We will do our best for any infected even if the chance is 0.01% so let's do the same here.”
The medic gave only a soft smile. “Yes, of course, Doctor. Can I ask why you wanted to be with the patient alone?”
“Don't worry about it, all I was doing was thinking about how much my choices actually mattered.”
“Doctor?”
“Ahaha, I told you to not worry about it. I'm just being silly~”
With that said, Doctor Seira leaves the medical room, walking out of the medical ward with that thought left all it was now. . . Was that Seira had made her own matter of choice and surely if someone else was in her shoes, they each will have their own.
#written fic#serious times#angst#oh baby it's past 5am#doing this all in one go#hope you people enjoy!
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
Replying to @elizabeth0020 for: Hello!! I’ve always wondered how you decide what arcs/episodes you’re going to write? There are sooooo many, how do you know what’s a good one for your story vs one that isn’t? And a second question (if you feel like answering lol): how do you picture all the details you wrote? Like lighting, movements, facial expression etc? You’re so good at that and I’ve always been amazed at how you come up with them!
I love answering anything and everything, so never worry about sending me too much! I don’t often get to talk about the technical stuff (like the questions you’ve asked), so I love getting any chance I have to talk about them! (So hold on tight, ‘cause this is a ramble! 😂)
So, for the first question regarding the arcs... I picked out what episodes/arcs I thought were beneficial when I did my first watch through of the Clone Wars this past summer. I had a google doc that I wrote down all the episode names in, then jotted down the preliminary ideas. Let me tell you, with a show that has seven seasons of 20+ episodes, it was... so daunting to even think about narrowing down what episodes and arcs to use. It was what initially deterred me from using any of them at all. So I started to look for things that I felt would directly impact Elara, her character, and her development. For example, I didn’t really use all of “Cat and Mouse” because the episode, on a whole, wouldn’t have Elara much involved in it. It did, however, provide a wonderful backdrop for her time on Christophsis, which is why I didn’t nix it entirely. Aside from forcing Obi-Wan and Elara to be tied together, “Dooku Captured” and “The Gungan General” were used to introduce her to Hondo, whom both allows her to be more playful, and showcases her knowledge of the seedier side of the galaxy. And there are plenty of episodes that I love and adore that I just... don’t think would fit. For as much as I love “Senate Spy” and the introduction of Clovis, there’s no way for me to put Elara into that episode and not have it feel forced. That’s another huge thing I look for when picking episodes; if Elara doesn’t feel like she would naturally fit into the storyline somehow, even if it’s indirectly, I’m not going to force her into it. That’s when I do things like mention the events of the episode in a chapter (like with “Clone Cadets”) instead of doing a whole episode. So Clovis is obviously going to get a mention (she’s Anakin’s sister and Padmé’s bestie, of course she’s going to hear about the debacle), but the whole episode won’t be written out.
Then, of course, you have the arcs. The ones that I had immediately chosen are (and these probably come as no surprise): Ryloth, Mandalore, Mortis, Slavers, and Deception. The arcs I find easier to choose because you have a chance to work with more surface area so to speak. It gives me a chance to really flesh out Elara’s part in the story, focus in on her and her emotions and how she’s tied to this particular plot. With the Mortis Arc, for example––Elara is a Skywalker. She is strong with the Force, and in the “Balance” verse, considered a Chosen One. That ties her into the Mortis Arc very interestingly, since it’s not just Anakin going God Mode. It’s going to lend me the chance to really dig deep into Elara, her connection to the Force, to the Light and Dark (the Daughter and Son), and her relationship to being a Chosen One. At first I was like ‘holy shit I’m never gonna be able to do this arc,’ and then when I buckled down and really thought it over... I realized it’s going to be really important for her as a character, and particularly her relationship with Anakin (stay tuned!). It also probably comes as no surprise that a lot of the arcs (and episodes) that get picked are influenced by whether or not Anakin or Obi-Wan are in them. Which is why I almost turned a blind eye to the Umbara Arc until someone brought it up. I did a rewatch of it and knew I had to include it, too. Because that’s going to be an awesome opportunity to flesh out how close Elara is to the 442nd, and be able to contrast her ideals as a General against those of Krell. A lot of the picking of episodes and arcs ends up being trial and error. I wrote the first four-ish pages of “Clone Cadets” before I realized it just didn’t flow right.
All this being said, I like to envision Elara is around for all of the Clone Wars episodes, so I’ve got lots of fun little random snippets for things that I’ll probably never write, but figure would happen in some part of a CW episode.
And after all that, here we finally are at your second question! ☺️
Coming up with all those small details is actually an amalgamation of things at work. I do attribute a lot of it to my training as an actor/theatre artist. I think about how, if I were directing it, how I’d want the movements to look, and how that would translate on both a small scale, and a large scale. A touch of a hand for Obi-Wan and Elara can feel like a world shifting movement––but come off as nothing but a simple, friendly gesture to their fellows. On a small scale, what makes the difference is the way the touch happens. How light the pressure of the touch is, how long it lasts, how slowly their fingers brush against the other person’s hand... all those things help me figure out the mood of that touch and how they’d respond to it. Also, when choosing words to describe movements I often think about the attitude attached to it. A ‘turn of the head’ when Anakin’s being moody may end up being a ‘swivel,’ or the ‘arch’ of an eyebrow from Obi-Wan is more sarcastic than a gentler ‘raise.’ I often agonize picking out those sorts of words. I’ll sit there and try them over and over again, then put them all into a Thesaurus website because I worry I use the same words too much. The thesaurus (particularly when writing Obi-Wan), is my best friend.
When I write mannerisms for canon characters, I use a lot of reference for. I’ll literally just scroll through gifs, watch movie clips, or rewatch the scene I’m writing to pick up on character-specific mannerisms. A couple chapters ago I was describing Anakin’s angry face, and I just looked at images of him from Revenge of the Sith (him alone in the Council room, him being knighted as Vader, his expressions on Mustafar, etc.) I’ll also do this for vocal ticks/inflections. I will also unashamedly admit I will sit there and compose my face into whatever expression I’m trying to describe. Sometimes feeling it physically, or physically composing it helps me come up with words or ways to describe the look. Same thing with touches AND with vocal inflection. Do I sit by myself and read what I’ve written aloud in my best Obi-Wan Kenobi cadence? Yes, yes I do. And has it helped me figure out what words/phrases do and do not work? Yes, it absolutely has!
Also, a lot of describing the details of motion/facial expression/touch gets affected by music for me. Like, if you listen to “Stairway to Heaven” as played by the London Philharmonic Orchestra while reading, say, the scene in “The Gungan General” where Obi-Wan and Elara wake up pressed up to one another... that song is just THE feel of that moment. Listening to the right music when writing (the little details especially) is big for me. Kinda like how “Blue Monday” is the music that works best for the bunker scene in “Storm Over Ryloth.”
There are also a lot of details that I pull from real life. I remember when I wrote Elara seeing Naboo for the first time—and consequently grass, trees, and flowers, too—it was summer time for me. I was staring out at the trees and the way the light filtered through them, watched how they swayed... the grass had just been cut and the breeze smelled sweet... and I was like ‘god, imagine experiencing this all for the first time.’ So I took what I felt and elevated it a little, tried to add a kind of wonder to the things that we all, for the most part, kinda take for granted. I like pulling on experiences I’ve had in real life as a basis.
I ask attribute a LOT of my detail work to my training as a theatre artist. I think about lighting now differently than I did a couple years ago; because I learned what kinda of light fit different moods. Like the scene of Obi-Wan at Dex’s would feel completely different if I’d described the light as cool toned. It would lack a sense of hope. His reminiscences would be sadder, it would feel more stark. The warmer tones suggest that there’s still heart and hope, a possibility for things to get better, and that reflects his inner life better than colder, bluer light. Or how I used light when I wrote Elara seeing Watto again after 10 years to describe her struggle between Dark and Light in that moment. She stepped out of the sun and into the shade because, for a moment, she almost gave in to the Darkness. (Inspired by the scene in Force Awakens where Kylo asks for Han’s help and the light shines down on them... with hints of red low lighting to hint at the struggle... only to have the light disappear as he overrides his own vulnerability, reverts to the Darkness and kills his own father).
I also love using physical objects as emotional triggers, like is done in theatre quite a bit. A good recent example being Elara’s lightsaber. Obi-Wan having it reminds him of his worries regarding her safety, and his struggle with choosing what path to take in regards to his feelings towards her. Or Elara with the Snow Blossom. These things have the ability to spark different emotions depending on the situation. On a good day, the Snow Blossom will make her smile; on a bad day, it may make her feel more sad than happy. And sometimes they don’t have to be objects—they can be bruises or scars or healing wounds. Having something physical spark an emotional response can be really helpful, and has actually helped me though rough spots in my writing.
I could literally go on for hours about all of this kind of stuff! So thank you for asking about it and giving me a chance to discuss it even a little bit! ☺️
#mary talks balance#mary responds#my writing stuff#detail work#elara skywalker#obi-lara#balance stuff#fic writing
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
The Shadow
Time and time again, we may find ourselves turning down a dark road of emptiness, and self sabatoge.
All experience /shadow work, suffering, addictions, is to make the unconscious conscious, and guide us to dive deep into new somatic territory, open new neurological pathways, to create new circuitry of self love and to experience deep intimacy..
Awareness and proper framing of what's going on is crucial.
The 'Psychic Winds of Change' blow through our Minds can be crazy fast and volatile , and at any moment may not be showing any signs of slowing down just yet.
Exploring Unchartered territory , spiritual healing modalities, can open new neurological pathways , create new circuitry of self love and to experience deep intimacy if we are willing to do the work. Otherwise it is spiritual bypassing.
We all have demons inside us. Every day, we fight against them – sometimes we lose, sometimes we win.
These demons haunting us can be seen either in small glimpses or in full chaos. And because of our guilt and shame, we tend to ignore and bury them.
We think that they should stay hidden because they cannot and should not exist in our conscious self. The society tells us to focus on the good things like love and light, but never the darkness or shadow.
However, when we focus only on the “light”, it doesn’t reach to the depths of our being. It just feels like superficially hanging on a warm and fuzzy thing.
“Positive thinking is simply the philosophy of hypocrisy – to give it the right name. When you are feeling like crying, it teaches you to sing. You can manage if you try, but those repressed tears will come out at some point, in some situation. There is a limitation to repression. And the song that you were singing was absolutely meaningless; you were not feeling it, it was not born out of your heart.” – Osho
Inside every one of us are darker problems that exist. In order to touch the very depths of our being, we must be ready to explore our buried self through shadow work.
Here are the basic things you need to know about shadow work:
Beneath the social mask we wear every day, we have a hidden shadow side: an impulsive, wounded, sad, or isolated part that we generally try to ignore. The Shadow can be a source of emotional richness and vitality, and acknowledging it can be a pathway to healing and an authentic life. – Steve Wolf
First, we must define what is a “shadow”.
In the field of psychology, a shadow is a term used to refer to the parts within us that we may try to hide or deny. The name was originally coined and explored by Swiss psychiatrist and psychoanalyst, Carl Jung.
It comprises of the aspects of our personality that we tend to deem shameful, unacceptable, ugly. It can be envy, jealousy, rage, lust, desire for power or the wounds incurred in childhood – all of those we keep hidden. Jung believes that when the human Shadow is shunned, it tends to sabotage our lives. Repressing or suppressing one’s shadow can result in addictions, low self-esteem, mental illness, chronic illnesses, and various neuroses.
“Everyone carries a shadow, and the less it is embodied in the individual’s conscious life, the blacker and denser it is.”– Carl Jung
You can learn to identify and work with your shadow self so that you can reach your goals and live your best life.
For many people, denying their inner self is the path they usually choose, but as you’ll see here, we are big fans of accepting who you really are and working with that, while choosing strategic thoughts and emotions in order to continue to move forward. Transformation, which so many of us are looking for, does not come from a place of denial. It comes from a place of acceptance. While you might not think it is possible to find your way to the “dark side” and come out a better person, we are here to tell you, it is.
“Man needs difficulties; they are necessary for health.” – Carl Jung
Here are 8 ways to practice shadow work:
1. Believe you are worthy and that things will get better
The first step in overcoming your shadow self and taking back your life is to acknowledge that you are worthy of good things.
When we are feeling low it is easy to continue to feel that way. Humans have an uncanny ability to feel sorry for themselves, and sometimes that is all we want to do and it serves its purpose.
But sometimes, that self-pity takes hold of us and makes it very difficult for us to get out of the rut and get back to our normal routines, or even better, our best self.
The key is learning to love yourself.
However, in this day and age practicing self love is hard.
Why?
Because society conditions us to find ourselves through our relationships with others. That the true path to happiness and fulfillment is to find love with someone else
I recently came to understand that this is an extremely unhelpful standard.
People living regular lives
What I discovered is that the relationship I have with myself is mirrored in my relationship with others. Therefore, it was very important for me to develop a better relationship with myself.
“If you do not respect your whole, you cannot expect to be respected as well. Don’t let your partner love a lie, an expectation. Trust yourself. Bet on yourself. If you do this, you will be opening yourself to be really loved. It’s the only way to find real, solid love in your life.”
2. Pay attention to the emotions you feel
No emotions are bad.
Our negative emotions are portals into the shadow. They help us determine our wounds and fears.
When you feel an emotion, take a minute to examine it. Ask yourself the following questions:
What am I feeling?
Why am I feeling this?
Wait for answers.
Don’t be frustrated if the answers do not come right away. Sometimes, the answers need time to be found and you’ll know it.
Never force answers and jump into conclusion because they might be the wrong ones. Shadow work is considered soul work and it happens on its own timeline. Just be patient and know that in time, the answers will come.
This steps simply means to accept what comes up for you, when it comes up, and acknowledge that you are an emotional being that may, from time to time, find it difficult to manage your emotions.
If you are working to tame your shadow self, then you’ll be paying attention to these moments so that you can stay with them, rather than try to run from them.
So many people simply want to feel better in the moments where we feel the greatest amount of discomfort, but if we can stay with our emotions, name them and be grateful for them, we can overcome them and move on to better things.
The better life is not created by not experiencing those emotions, but by experiencing all of them with gratitude.
RELATED: I was deeply unhappy…then I discovered this one Buddhist teaching
3. Identify the shadow
Our shadows are located in our subconscious. We buried them there that’s why it’s tricky to identify it.
n order to perform shadow work, we need to identify the shadow. The first step is to become aware of the recurrent feelings that you always feel. Identifying these patterns will help highlight the shadow.
Some common shadow beliefs are:
I am not good enough.
I am unloveable.
I am flawed.
My feelings are not valid.
I must take care of everyone around me.
Why can’t I just be normal just like others?
4. Investigate your feelings objectively and with compassion
t’s hard to do shadow work objectively and with compassion. It’s easier to investigate and blame other people why you end up that way.
On the other hand, understanding why the people who hurt you acted in a particular way is hard to accept. But in order to heal ourselves, we must forgive those who hurt us in order to move on.
Try to navigate that they did the best they could do at that time or were simply acting from their own wounds.
It’s also easy to feel bad about yourself for having these negative feelings. But there’s no reason to feel bad. We all experience negative emotions. We wouldn’t be human if we didn’t.
It’s important to accept our negative emotions and be okay with them.
According to philosopher Alan Watts, Carl Jung was the kind of man who could feel something negative and not be ashamed about it:
“[Jung] was the sort of man who could feel anxious and afraid and guilty without being ashamed of feeling this way. In other words, he understood that an integrated person is not a person who has simply eliminated the sense of guilt or the sense of anxiety from his life – who is fearless and wooden and kind of sage of stone. He is a person who feels all these things, but has no recriminations against himself for feeling them.” – Alan Watts
5. Focusing on your breathing
How much attention do you pay to the way you breathe?
If you’re like most people, then probably not a lot. We usually just let our body do the job and completely forget about it.
I think this is one of our biggest mistakes.
Because when you breathe, you produce energy for your body and psyche. This has a direct connection to your sleep, digestion, heart, muscles, nervous system, brain and mood.
But the quality of your breathing doesn’t depend only on the quality of the air — it depends much more on how you breathe.
That’s why many spiritual traditions pay so much attention to breath. And focusing on your breathing is a key technique they use to help people explore, and ultimately conquer, their shadow self.
6. Explore the shadow
Psychologists use art therapy as a way to help patients explore their inner selves. It is because art is a great way to allow your Shadow to manifest itself. Here are some ways to express the shadow:
Journaling
When you write, it allows you to feel emotions and empty your head of the thoughts rumbling around. It’s like magic – even when you write thoughts that have no sense. Just write whatever comes to mind because you can’t do it wrong.
Write a letter
Write a letter to yourself or to those who hurt you. You don’t have to actually send the letter, just let all your feelings out.
Tell the person in mind what you feel and why you feel it. Writing a letter will validate yourself and your emotions. You can burn the letter after you write it as a symbolic release.
Meditate
In meditation, we gain insights about why we feel certain ways. It helps us understand and objectively delve deeper about our emotions, then allow ourselves to heal.
One example is forgiveness meditation. You can picture a person who hurt you in your mind and say, “May you be happy, may you be at peace, may you be free of suffering.”
Recommended reading: A spiritual master explains why you can’t meditate properly (and what to do instead)
Feel
You will never heal unless you allow yourself to face the emotion you’re scared of. So explore them, write about them and make art out of them.
To experience yourself as a whole, loved, and lovable, you need to own up to your emotions.
Dreams
Our thoughts and deepest emotions can come out in dreams, according to Jung. When you experience a dream, write down what occurred immediately so you don’t forget.
By understanding your dreams, you might understand more about yourself.
“The dream is the small hidden door in the deepest and most intimate sanctum of the soul, which opens to that primeval cosmic night that was soul long before there was conscious ego and will be soul far beyond what a conscious ego could ever reach.” – Carl Jung
However, Jung says that it’s important to understand that one dream by itself might not mean much, but patterns from multiple dreams might:
“An obscure dream, taken by itself, can rarely be interpreted with any certainty, so that I attach little importance to the interpretation of single dreams. With a series of dreams we can have more confidence in our interpretations, for the later dreams correct the mistakes we have made in handling those that went before. We are also better able, in a dream series, to recognize the important contents and basic themes.” – Carl Jung
Remember that the shadow thrives in secret but they are part of who you are. Bring the hidden parts of yourself to light and bathe them in self-love and acceptance.
Sometimes, the process hurts but it will make you a better person. Keep in mind: When it comes down to getting what you want, you have to not only confront your inner darkness but embrace it.
Rather than try to turn it off when you feel the shadow self-rearing its ugly head, allow yourself to feel it and be curious about it.
In some cases, you might find that it serves you, especially when you are trying to protect yourself from things that might otherwise threaten your higher self.
When you tap into your shadow self properly, it can be a powerful alter ego that can help you manage trying situations.
It’s when you let it rule your life, or pretend you don’t have a shadow self that problems persist.
7. Nurture your inner child
Our childhood traumas can be caused by the way we were parented or other people who hurt us. It can result in deep wounds that can create behavioral and emotional patterns that create our personality.
Most of the time, our childhood wounds are the most painful. They haunt us and tell us we’re not worthy of love, or that our feelings are wrong, or that we have to take care of everything because nobody was around to take care of us.
Nurturing your inner child involves traveling back in time to when you were hurt and give yourself love. You can do this by:
Go back to the time in your life when you felt most vulnerable.
It can be a scene where you got hurt or a time in your life when you felt vulnerable. Hold that image of yourself in your mind. Stay aware, taking in any messages that arise during that time.
Give the younger you compassion
While reliving the moment, give love to your younger self. Tell yourself, “I love you and I’m here for you. It will be okay, it’s not your fault and you did nothing to deserve this.” You can also give a hug to your younger self.
One thing is for sure when doing shadow work, it is uncomfortable, to say the least. Who would enjoy owning up to their flaws, weaknesses, selfishness, hate, and all the negative emotions they feel? Nobody.
But while focusing on our positive side is enjoyable and boosts our confidence, shadow work can help us grow and develop into a better version of ourselves.
Jung writes in the book Psychology and Alchemy, “There is no light without shadow and no psychic wholeness without imperfection.”
With shadow work, we become whole to live a more authentic and fulfilling life.
Recommended reading:
7 steps to heal your inner child.
Recommended Therepy : inner child Hypnotherapy, Family Constillations, Sound Healing, Earth magnetism Nature, Fasting, Mirroring, EFT, Resurecction Therepy, Heart Coherence Frequency, Deep tissue manipulation, infrared saunas, fasting, 1stSun. Kundalini Meditation , Mantras, ecstatic dance, Qi gong, vibrational machines, resurrection therepy.
Written by:DeannaCook and is free under the Creative Commons Attribution-No Derivative Works 3.0 License
(http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nd/3.0/) you may freely copy, distribute, blog, or post it anywhere, so long as the work is attributed to "deannalcook", and the text is unaltered.
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
Five Dakinis Families
All dakinis have extraordinary powers -- the worldly ones and those referred to as wisdom dakinis -- but only the motivation of the latter is completely pure. The life story of the Mahasiddha, Tilopa (988 - 1069) tells how after he met the dakinis who could manipulate appearances, he encountered the ones embodying the five activities, and then at last, in the heart of the mandala, The Wisdom Dakini, herself. The Life of Padmasambhava According to Yeshe Tsogyal describes a similar progression.
Tilopa Meets the Dakinis
The 4th Chetsang Rinpoche (1770-1862) of the Drikung Kagyu tells how the Bengali brahmin boy, Salyeu, out minding water buffalo, was visited by a "fearsome, ugly woman" who told him to ". . . herd buffalo And read scriptures. There you will find the prophecies of the Dakinis."
With this, she disappeared.
Some time later, while he was reading under a shapa [hat-shaped?] tree, she returned, and asked him to identify himself to her. He gave the appropriate, ordinary information, but she corrected him, saying:
"Your country is Oddiyana in the North; your father is Chakrasamvara; your mother is Vajrayogini: your brother is Pantsapana [Hind: Panchpana], and I am your sister, Bliss-giver. If you want to find the true buffalo go to the forest of the bodhi tree. There the stainless Dakinis hold the ear-whispered teachings."
He said, "If I go there, the Dakinis will pose obstacles and prevent me from succeeding." She said: "Yogi, you can get the teachings. You have received the predictions And kept the samaya vows."
Realizing she was a Dakini, he said: "The path is dangerous and I do not know how to traverse it." In reply she gave him a crystal ladder, a jeweled bridge, and a coral-handled key, saying: "I give you my blessings; depart without hesitation."
The young man, who would become known as Mahasiddha Tilopa, then crosses the country to reach Oddiyana where, using the magical tools, he negotiates a poison lake and the "iron wall of Ghandola." Then, he chooses the correct one of the three gates to the Temple of Ghandola and, using his coral key, he enters.
First, he meets nirmanakaya "stainless Dakinis Who desire flesh and blood." in their many fearsome forms that make terrible noises and threatening gestures, but he is not afraid. Frustrated, they fell into a faint, and when they regained their composure, they begged his forgiveness and admitted:
"We are to you as the butterfly to the lamp; The butterfly hopes to extinguish the lamp, But instead dies in the light. ... , ... ."
One among them continued: "I am just an ordinary being, without authority. If I do not ask our leader's permission to let you in, She will eat my flesh and drink my blood. Therefore, precious one, do not think unkindly of me."
Then, samboghakaya Loka Karma Dakinis appear, but by making the three threatening ritual gestures, Tilopa overpowers their faculties of body, speech and mind. They suffer the same as the previous group, and their leader, "a Minister," goes to announce him to the Queen. When she permits him to enter, he does not even bow but rather assumes a state of meditation, so the host of attending Dakinis get angry, saying:
"She is the blessed one, The mother of the Buddhas of the Three Times. Let us beat him Who shows no respect."
The Mother intervenes saying that he is ". . . . The father of the Buddhas of the Three Times. Even a rain of vajras . . . Could not destroy him. Therefore I will give him the teachings."
She instructs him in prana [breath/energy] and other unrecorded things, but he insists on more, and Tilopa says that he wants " . . . the perfect teaching. The stainless bliss, the great secret Of the ordinary and the extraordinary."
She then agrees to confer the three wish-fulfilling gems including the self-arising body of co-emergent Wisdom and Means united; the speech that is the 7-syllable self-arising emerald in the Dharmakara, and the 5-pointed vajra jewel of self-arising mind, but only if he can understand the signs. The host of Dakinis express their doubt that he will be able to understand the signs, but Tilopa responds directly to the Mother, that he has 3 special keys, and that they are:
1. The self-liberation key of samaya that grants access to "the light of wisdom which dispels the darkness of ignorance, And to self-awareness, self-arising, ad self-clarity."
2. "the key of experience Which opens the door to the mind-as-such, Self-appearing clarity which is ever unborn, . . . ." and
3. "the key of experience of the realized yogi" that opens the door to "Mind-as-such, Dharma-as-such, and Dharmakaya."
At that the Dakinis rejoice and hold a Ganachakra feast in which they prepare the sindhura (vermillion powder) mandala and further empower him by means of both oral and mental transmissions. They give him 13 distinct tantras for the future benefit of beings including Tantra of Vajra Dakini, Tantra of Sangwai Zo and Tantra of Vajradhara Self-appearance. Then they liken him to a bird and, having addressed him as Chakrasamvara and as Prajnabadra, they beg him to remain with them.
Knowing the future, Tilopa explains that he must return to Tsukgi Norbu (Crest Jewel) Monastery "For the spiritual sons Naropa, Ririkasori and others."
As he was leaving, a formless Dakini bestowed 9 special objects with instructions to:
1. "loosen the knot of the mind"
2. "act like a sword striking water"
3. "chase the sun of realization" [a lasso?]4. "see samaya in the mirror of your mind" 5. "see that the light of awareness is wisdom"6. "turn the wheel of the channel and wind net" 7. "see the outer mirror equalizing taste" 8. "see the mahamudra [a seal?] of self-liberation" 9. hold "the jewel of great-bliss speech"
And that, according to the Drikung Kagyu, is "how Tilopa as a human being over- powered the Dakinis, and how he received the teachings. "
Consorts of Transcendent Buddhas
Tibetan Buddhism acknowledges, besides the historical Buddha Siddhartha Gautama Shakyamuni (532-486 BCE) other buddhas (awakened ones/fully aware ones) of the past and the future. At the ultimate level of reality there are transcendental buddhas. These are thought of as five families or categories of buddhas.
Their female consorts are regarded as "enlightened wisdom" which, paired with the male aspect or "skillful means," give rise to the enlightened compassionate activity of the universe(s). Hence there are 5 major corresponding dakinis: Padma-Dakini, Buddha-Dakini, Ratna-Dakini, Karma-Dakini, and Vajra-Dakini or Vishva-Dakini (vajra-cross dakini.)
Dakinis of the Five Families
The Padma or lotus dakini is stocky with oily, pink skin.
She is talkative and lusty.
She controls gods, demons and men.
With her, the doors to rebirth in lower realms are closed.
Buddha (Sangye) dakini is bluish white.
She is smiling, placid and long-lived.
She confers longevity and rebirth in the dakini paradise.
Ratna or jewel dakini is tall, slim, golden- skinned with white hair.
She sings and dances.
She grants wealth and success in life.
With her the hell realms will be closed.
The Karma or activity dakini is white and radiant.
She is smiling, respectful,
trustworthy, and generous.
She grants worldly success and rebirth as a human.
Vajra (Dorje) or thunderbolt dakini is fair, flushed and radiant.
She has special marks such as 5 white moles at her brow.
Compassionate, pure, virtuous and devout, with her there is no falling into any lower realm.
[From John Stevens' Lust for Enlightenment (Shambala 1990) citing Dowman's Divine Madman.]
or Four Orders
The Sanglingma or Life of Padmasambhava According to Yeshe Tsogyal repeatedly makes reference to four orders.
The lowest order of dakini consists of beings who have not fully divorced themselves from the world of existence, samsara. This worldly kind of dakini is the sort that may behave like Tricksters -- sometimes helpful; at other times, mischief-making. These dakinis can appear as beautiful fairies or angels, but also as ghouls and demons.
or Five Sisters
In the life story of Padmasambhava, The 5 Tsering-ma were transformed from evil-doers who could manipulate beings by means of visual and auditory illusions into sworn and bound protectors of the dharma by the Guru.
From Thinley Norbu's Magic Dance: The Display of the Self-Nature of
the Five Wisdom Dakinis. (Shambhala, 1999):
Five Wisdom Sisters,
If we do not complement you,
You become five witches,
Making us ill and bringing us suffering.
Because we cannot banish you,
Always our fate depends on you.
Five Wisdom Sisters,
If we do complement you,
You become five angels,
Making us healthy and bringing us happiness.
Because we cannot separate from you,
Always our fate depends on you.
Five Wisdom Sisters,
Nothing can be done without depending on your mood.
Farmers cannot grow their crops,
Politicians cannot rule their countries,
Engineers cannot work their machines,
Doctors cannot heal their patients,
Scientists cannot do their research,
Philosophers cannot make their logic,
Artists cannot create their art,
Without depending on your mood.
Five Wisdom Sisters,
Nothing can be known without depending on your grace.
Tibetan lamas cannot chant with cool highland habit,
Indian gurus cannot sing with warm lowland habit,
Japanese roshis cannot sit with dark cushion habit,
Muslim sheikhs cannot dance with bright robed habit,
Jewish rabbis cannot pray with soft-voiced habit
Without depending on your grace.
Five Wisdom Sisters,
Even the most mysterious miracles cannot occur without complementing your purity.
Buddha Shakyamuni cannot rest with tranquil gaze of his lotus eyes underneath the Bodhi tree,
Guru Padmasambhava cannot play magically with countless sky-walking dakinis,
Lord Jesus cannot walk weightlessly across the water,
Prophet Moses cannot see the radiantly burning bush,
Brahmin Saraha-pa cannot straighten arrows, singing wisdom hymns with his arrow-maker girl,
Crazy saint Tilopa cannot eat fish and torture Naropa,
Greatest yogi Milarepa cannot remain in his cave, singing and accepting hardships
Without complementing your purity.
You are so patient.
Whoever wants to stay,
If you don't exist,
Cannot stay.
Whoever wants to go,
If you don't exist,
Cannot go.
Whoever wants to taste or touch,
If you don't exist,
Cannot taste or touch.
Whatever our actions,
You are always supporting
Patiently without complaining.
But we ignorant beings
Are always ungrateful,
Stepping on you,
Calling you Earth.
You are so constant.
Whoever wants to be purified,
If you don't exist,
Cannot be purified.
Whoever wants to quench their thirst,
If you don't exist,
Cannot quench their thirst.
Whoever wants to hear,
If you don't exist,
Cannot hear
Whatever our actions,
You are always flowing
Ceaselessly without complaining.
But we desiring beings
Are always ungrateful,
Splashing you,
Calling you Water.
You are so clear.
Whoever wants to fight,
If you don't exist,
Cannot fight.
Whoever wants to love,
If you don't exist,
Cannot love.
Whoever wants to see,
If you don't exist,
Cannot see.
Whatever our actions,
You are always glowing
Un-obscuredly without complaining.
But we proud beings
Are always ungrateful
Smothering you,
Calling you Fire.
You are so light.
Whoever wants to rise,
If you don't exist,
Cannot rise.
Whoever wants to move,
If you don't exist,
Cannot move.
Whoever wants to smell,
If you don't exist,
Cannot smell.
Whatever our actions,
You are always moving
Weightlessly without complaining.
But we envious beings
Are always ungrateful,
Fanning you,
Calling you Air.
You are so open.
Whoever wants to exist,
If you don't exist,
Cannot exist.
Whoever doesn't want to exist,
If you don't exist,
Cannot cease to exist.
Whoever wants to know phenomena,
If you don't exist,
Cannot know phenomena.
Whatever our actions,
You are always welcoming
Spaciously without complaining.
But we ignorant beings
Are always ungrateful,
Emptying you,
Calling you Space.
You are our undemanding slave,
Tirelessly serving us,
From ordinary beings to sublime beings
To fulfill our worldly wishes.
You are our powerful queen,
Seductively conquering us,
From ordinary beings to sublime beings,
Into desirable qualities.
You are our Wisdom Dakini,
Effortlessly guiding us with your magic dance,
From ordinary beings to sublime beings,
Into desireless qualities.
16 notes
·
View notes