#(even though I do think those filters were very much part of the point in the book it wouldn’t have worked as well in a movie)

[meticulousfragments]

I don’t know if anyone else who follows me has both read the book and seen the movie Poor Things

But I read it this week and watched the movie last night and I feel like I need to talk about it with someone because it’s still rattling around in my head

[happysparklingshadows]

𝙱𝙶𝟹 𝙻𝚊𝚍𝚒𝚎𝚜 ✿ 𝙿𝚛𝚊𝚒𝚜𝚎 ✿

Note: I am still writing A Certain Hunger but I have been very scared about publish it because it has taken so long to write because of some personal issues with my family and work! I hope you like my headcannons about Bg3 woman. They have infested my brain 😵‍💫

Lae’zel 

-Not one to really give or receive praise in a context outside of battle.

-She would compliment you in her husky tone occasionally if you did impressive work against an enemy. But praise for being around? No. 

-Lae’zel grew up in a culture that refuses kindness or praise. “It only makes us slower. We think of our greatness more than being great; I will not fall for that. I know my greatness in the screams of my enemies.” 

-However, over time, and after being introduced to Faeyan culture, she slowly learned that praise was judged as encouragement or care for others. Especially after staying with you to choose her future, she learns the importance of praise but uses it very sparingly. 

-“You did well.” She would say after you kill some goblins. Or the time she mentioned that she liked the “strength” you showed when you got beaten to your last hit point. 

-She was never good at taking praise. She didn’t like being called a good girl; it implied you were superior to her somehow, and she didn’t like being called anything other than Lae’zel. 

-“Champion, You were so strong tonight. It made me shiver.” You told her once as she was sharpening her sword. She stops abruptly and stares ahead of her momentarily, and she starts sharpening again. She got flustered very easily with those words.

-She does say in sex, though, “You take me so well, my scent still on you from last time. Screaming you are mine.” To you in sex. She likes to praise your good behavior as her mate, but she doesn’t think it is praise. She is stating a fact. You were good at taking her????

-She isn’t the best at giving or taking praise, but nothing is better for her when it is earned. She loves to hear your approval of her, and she tries her best to do the same for you because beneath the coldness was someone who couldn’t imagine a world without you. Didn’t want to. 

-I believe after the end of Act 3 in the game, she would call you “good girl” if you told her you liked it and explained how it made you feel. She won’t develop it independently, even with how well she knows you, but she wants to make you feel good. She isn’t above proving herself to you or changing small things, like what to call you in bed.

Karlach

-Fucking loves it and loves giving it both. 

-She calls you baby (girl or boy) whenever she is pleased with your behavior, and she kisses you whenever the urge comes over her, which is a lot. 

-Karlach has no shame or embarrassment to praise her beautiful Girlfriend. 

-Karlach had helped you once with her strength; you had asked them to hold you up as you wanted to grab a honeycomb. Her solid and big hands grabbed your waist gently and lifted you up like you were nothing; it made you feel flustered and turned on.

-“Gods, I don’t think I have ever met anyone as strong as you, Karlach! That was amazing!” You said without a filter when your feet met the ground again. You looked up to the now-flustered barbarian. “Seriously,” you say as you touch her bicep innocently to investigate your girlfriend's muscle, “What were you fed as a child? Rocks and nails?” 

-Which ended up with you pushed against that tree and fucked beyond belief. 

-The night came over you that night under the tree. You lay naked in the grass with Karlach. You hear the turning of mechanical parts in her chest as you look up at her, resting your chin on her breast, “You are so beautiful. It is just a privilege to love you, Karlach. Truly, I can’t believe we haven’t known each other longer for how much you have taken from my heart.”

-Karlach is a soft girl sometimes, and saying something like that to her would make her stare at you with tears in her eyes. She softly cries, not believing what you are saying. She chuckles at her own tears at such a nice thing. She sniffles and says, “Thank you, baby, I can’t- ah, I can’t find the words to tell you how much that makes me feel. I love you. You are the best love I have ever known.” 

-You kiss her skin softly as you cuddle closer to the tearful tiefling, “I love you too. So greatly… it’s good to know it is mutual.”

-“It is, baby, it really is. Tonight is such a beautiful night.”

Shadowheart 

-Shadowheart doesn’t admit it, but she has such a big praise kink. 

-It started when you two met when you noticed how she would look away when you thanked her for saving you, or she would blush when you told her how great she was beside you in a fight. 

-But she was slow with her love and couldn’t be won over with some simple praise. It takes time to win her trust, let alone her heart.

-She finds her need for your praise as something she needs to hide. It was a vulnerability to exploit if she let it show. It is how she is used to being. She tries to hide her happiness with praise, but it is hard. 

-But, when you two start seeing each other seriously, she takes that shit to the heart every time. 

-“Good girl.” You said in passing when she healed you without being asked. It caused her to blush and feel a heat wave through her.

-She was happy to make things easier for you when she was in love with you and away from Shar. She doesn’t need anyone's approval anymore, no more sacrifices to be enough. She was enough to you. It made her feel comfortable. 

-Shadow wasn’t scared to praise you back. She is similar to Karlach in that way. She has no shame when she is happy with you to tell you that or give you a look that communicates that she will treat you to something more. 

-One night after she had abandoned Shar, she was still very lost and felt not herself. Even her hair isn’t the same as what she remembered. She didn’t remember much. It killed her, and you came to your shared tent. 

-“Shadow, I want you to know I haven’t met someone with so much bravery before.” You say to her as she sits across from you, saddened and quiet, and you come closer to her. “You were scared and did what you thought was right, and it was right, without knowing how it would end up. You dared to do something that terrified you. It inspires me, my love.” You finish as you touch her hand, you move a hair out of her face that still looks at the ground. She had red cheeks, and her breath was hitched. She needed to hear that. But she couldn’t find words to speak. “My brave cleric.” You say as you touch her cheek tenderly with a finger, rubbing it up and down and moving it away. “I think you will find your nerve again. Give it some time.”

-She, of course, finds it again and is her typically goofy brooding self again. And she remembers those words when she is afraid. She reminds herself that you find her brave, so she must act bravely. 

-The praise you give her keeps her sane even if she will never admit it. 

Minthara 

-Praise is not something to take or give lightly to Minthara. 

-Minthara is 230 years old (45ish in human years), and you are way younger than her by a hundred(s) of years. She sees you as someone who has yet to mold into a fully well-rounded person, and she likes to see herself as some kind of mentor and lover. 

-Minthara smirked at you when you did something she liked in the company of your party; she would back you up on almost any decision you made. If you kill or attack someone without asking questions, she will give you a nod and a “Good kill.” 

-Minthara doesn’t hate when she is praised by you. It gave her a reasonable confidence boost that she needed right now. But she scoffs at it and doesn’t like overly affectional praise or one that doesn’t feel earned. 

-She thinks the best praise is in sex with your moans and begs to her. She worships you, eyes devouring you as much as her mouth did to your clit. Her fingers toying and occasionally pinching your nipples, she moans into your body as she tastes your essence. She loves hearing how good she is doing and how great you feel; she keeps her path of getting your cum on her lips. 

-Minthara kisses up your body when she is done. She links her hips with yours with firm thrusts against you, and she says down to you, “Good girl, that’s right, move with me.” 

[delicious-in-imagines]

Hello!! Could I request some nsfw headcanons for Kabru and Mithrun?

Of course, love! Requests are OPEN!

NSFW will be below the cut! Spoilers for Mithrun!

Kabru of Utaya

This man is going to eat you alive. I said it before, and I'll say it until I'm blue in the face - there is nothing that is going to escape his notice. Every single weakness is going to be carefully catalogued until he knows just how to take you apart bit by bit.

This is a man who lives on his knees. He'll usually start by slowly disrobing you, turning each shed layer into an act of devotion. The languid way he trails his lips up your skin, inch by inch revealed and scorch with the warmth of each kiss that he gives. There will be no hiding from him, settling his hands on your hips as he rests his head along your knee, staring up at you with lidded eyes and a knowing smile.

He doesn't really do quickies - I'd say the opposite, slowies, even. With lips and tongue and teeth, prying and pulling with the calloused surfaces of his hands, he'll tear you apart to the very core. I see him as someone who loves to indulge in overstimulation, taking and taking as much as you'll give, until you're begging for mercy at his wicked tongue.

He gives as good as he takes, so if you want to take the reigns to give him a taste of his medicine, he's more than willing to lie back and allow you to have your wicked way with him. His face and chest will flush as you chart your own path across the smattering of scars and blemishes across the dusk of his skin.

His eyes will flutter shut, lips parted in soft moans with every sensitive spot that you discover and ruthlessly tease, paying him back for the same behavior. He'll grit his teeth with his brow furrowed the closer and closer he gets, until his body draws taut, crying out your name - though it's drowned out by the sounds of the bar above his room.

Mithrun of the House of Kerensil

As each new desire begins to slowly but surely take root and unfurl, those inklings of his past self begin to filter through - as well as echoes of the man he once was. To put it short, he is a possessive lover. He wants everything that you're willing to give and more, you've stuck with him so far. A lot of feelings from the past were consumed, shame being among them. He's indulging these new desires as they crop up, and pairing those two together... he doesn't care where the two of you are.

He's absolutely the person to pull you just around the corner for a quickie, grappling at your heated flesh and sinking into you with lips and teeth anchored at your neck and shoulders. There is not an ounce of shame in his body, and when you're done, he'll spare a moment to make you look presentable - though he looks completely unbothered by your barely private tryst.

He loves to have you on your knees, lavishing his skin in attention and praise, threading his fingers through your hair and looking down at you as you service him. He's a stoic man, even in these situations - to the point you may think that he isn't enjoying himself. His pleasure shows, it doesn't tell - in the way his brow furrows, biting at his lips, and staring down at you through lidded eyes. He doesn't moan or gasp, and it's only the slight hitch or heave in his breath that tells you just how much he's enjoying your mouth around him.

Any position that he can grab at your body under him is his favorite, being able to bend and twist your limbs while he shares this newfound pleasure with you. I like to think that he doesn't last long when the two of you first become intimate on account of just how long it's been - but he's absolutely going to go as many rounds as his body is willing to give him.

The afterglow is probably the softest point that you'll get him, when the two of you are basking in the remnants of pleasure, and he curls around you. His fingers will play across your skin, indulging in the closeness and brushing gentle, chapped lips across your skin. He'll murmur out nonsense against your skin, and is one of the few times that he'll vocally express his love for you.

[batfambyval]

okay. So.

Serious Red Robin theory coming.

Tim wasn’t put in the Lazarus Pit. But. That doesn’t mean they didn’t use it on him. The pit’s healing properties have been shown to work in small portions. Like, the healing is proportional to the amount of lw used.

The cave with the pit isn’t exactly a sterile environment. So either the pit was needed or it was an attempt to put Tim off balance, a psychological weapon. Though the White Ghost’s reaction to the assumption seems to dispute that. If the pit’s healing is proportional to the amount used it makes sense that the psychological effects are to, along with the duration of those side effects.

Ra’s had serious reasons to use the pit on Tim, between the additional room for emotional manipulation and Tim’s life threatening injury which wasn’t immediately treated and was in fact exacerbated like, a lot… yeah. Tim lost a lot of blood. He lost was stabbed in the organ that filters blood: meaning all your blood passes through your spleen. He was bleeding out, he should have died, he dragged himself and another person to a car, drove said car back to the city, and got them both up to the penthouse. Recovering from that would take a long time, he shouldn’t have survived at all. But he healed quickly and well, it isn’t an issue, it happened and it was over. I know we as a fandom like to have fun with Tim’s missing spleen and what that means but… canon didn’t and looking back I feel like there was a lot pointing at the pit being used in a much more insidious was, not just in the logistics of Tim’s recovery.

Ra’s was insanely trusting of Tim. Not just in his ability to do what he wanted but in his belief that Tim would ultimately come around to his way of thinking. Now, I can obviously see that Tim was in a very vulnerable position and if Bruce hadn’t actually been alive Ra’s could definitely have succeeded. But it feels like more than that, especially with Tim’s ensuing behavior. A lot of his time with the league is glossed over or seen from Tam’s perspective, but Tim was acting different. It’s easy to attribute this to the objectively terrible situation and the year he’s had, but his behavior isn’t the same as it was at the beginning of the run either. And the difference in behavior fades. As Red Robin Tim is more ruthless and pragmatic, mostly due to necessity. Even stealing from a museum and fighting for it makes him incredibly uncomfortable. He still did it. But he was still acting like Tim, making jokes and doing his best to diffuse the situation and keep everyone alive. After the surgery his focus gets even more single minded. He barely puts up a fight about leading the league. Of course partly for Tam, and he tried to keep killing to a minimum but cmon. He was leading the league of ASSASSINS. There were assassinations happening. People died when he blew all the league bases and he barely registered that beyond thinking that the council of spiders probably made it out, implying part of him knew death was a possibility and he didn’t care. But he didn’t think about the moral implications of that in a way that was very reminiscent of Jason’s selective morality. If he had stopped to think about it he wouldn’t have done it, but he was focused to much on beating Ra’s, on not compromising, that the complexity of the situation didn’t sink in. The obvious effects of his actions, the possible deaths and injuries of anyone inside a league stronghold wasn’t acknowledged while the underlying message sent to his opponent was the only thing he could think about. Just like when Jason attacked Tim at Titans Tower to send a message to Bruce despite his hardline stance against hurting kids.

So. The League did use the pit on Tim, just a little. Maybe two tablespoons in the wound to accelerate recovery and weaken his morals a bit. It would certainly make a lot of sense. And the writer did change when Tim came back to Gotham so it’s entirely possible that it was meant to be touched on later but was discarded.

[satuguro]

⠀ཾ ༚ MORE FUN WITH THREE!

chad meeks martin x ethan landry x reader

#SYNOPSIS— nsfw/sfw head canons about dating ethan and chad <3

#CONTAINS— (sfw) domesticity!!, slight angst, comfort, overall fluff ; (nsfw) daddy/mommy kink, degradation, praise, and a lot more but those are the mains!

#AUTHORSNOTE— there isn’t enough domestic chad/ethan/reader stuff so i wrote this xx

#SFW

— you guys pined for each other for a while until any of you made a move. lots of longing looks and deep talk nights and sleepovers that felt more intimate than ‘just friend’ activities.

— but surprisingly, it was ethan who confessed first. the three of you were sharing a blunt around a pool during a party, and he suddenly started rambling about how much he liked you both romatically.

“it’s just like,” ethan breathes, leaning his head on your shoulder and absentmindedly fidgeting with chad’s fingers. “i talk a lot, right? i ramble and i talk and can’t ever seem to shut up— at least i’m self aware, y/n! —but when i look at the two of you.. it’s like my words just can’t come out. and i become quiet because i don’t know how you two exist.”

— ever since that night, you guys began dating!

— now this is not gonna be one of those head-cannons about how everything went smoothly because trust me it didn’t for a while.

— it was really up and down for the first year. chad has a bad habit of being jealous, which is nice if he wasn’t so in denial when you or ethan point it out.

— ethan has a tendency to space out/disassociate when things get too stressful (a result of his history with his family), which takes a lot of work and patience to work through. thankfully, you and chad have all the patience in the world for him.

— and you wouldn’t open up to them for a while, oftentimes running how you really felt and the bad parts of your past through a filter to make it seem not as bad (even though chad and ethan could read you like a book).

— there’s a lot more, but i will say that i don’t think ethan or chad is the type to really raise their voice during an argument. disagreements are resolved through firm talking between the three of you, and even when someone wants to scream or yell at the other person, they know that you all hate the sound of angry yelling, so you find others ways to cool off.

— anyways! you guys moved in together a year and a half into your relationship.

— chad’s the clean one and ethan’s the messy one (mainly bc he gets distracted by other stuff and forgets ro clean up after himself).

— both boys love sitting/joining you when you’re doing your hobbies. sometimes they even wanna learn from you! chad is a very quick learner while ethan is very eager to learn

— movie nights, video game nights, study nights, etc. are a very common thing bc all of you procrastinate college shit (except for chad, who is somehow more on top of it than you and ethan).

— chad can cook, ethan can bake, and you can do both! so meals are usually made by you and chad while ethan makes dessert.

— ethan also stress bakes.

the lack of a third body in your bed made you sit up groggily from your bed. “chad? chad,” you mumbled, shaking chad’s shoulder next to you, making him grumble a weak response. “where’s ethan?”

and as the two of you walked out, you still wrapped in your comforter, you were shocked to find your boyfriend making his third batch of cake pops over the counter. his hair was tousled and eye bags hung under his brown eyes, but ethan looked more awake than ever. his spider-man shirt was stained with flour and his pajama pants hung loosely around his waist. “ethan,” chad said with a sigh, “babes, it’s 3 am.”

“yeah but,” ethan began, whisking from frosting. “i have an exam in like two days and i needed to relax so i’m baking!”

“ethan, baby, come back to bed.”

— chad and ethan are sore losers!! every time the three of you play video games and you win they both sulk for like 10 minutes. but if you lose and one of them wins, they’re so cocky and they’re teasing you about it (assholes).

"guys, please talk to me," you said, watching as ethan stubbornly sat next to chad on the other side of the couch, pulling the blanket tight over the both of them and not around you."

"no," chad stated, putting an arm over ethan's shoulders and pulling him close. "this is what happens when you cheat at mario kart."

you huffed in annoyance before standing up, grabbing the blanket and forcing yourself in with them, ignoring their protests.

"y/n, you already won!" ethan groaned, still making room for you regardless of how much of a sore loser he was.

— you guys sleep on a king bed in a shared room and take turns being in the middle. usually chad likes being in the middle because that means he gets to feel both you and ethan sleeping on his chest.

— chad sleeps earlier than the both of you so sometimes he has to listen to you and ethan talk about basically nothing 30 minutes before going to bed.

“yeah, sex is great, but have you ever yawned so hard you felt tears?” ethan said, his face turned to yours as the three of you laid in bed.

chad heard you chuckle softly before saying, “it’s kind of like stretching so hard you cough. wait— does that mean you’d rather yawn with tears over having sex with us?”

“what? no!”

— sometimes when one of you is coming home late, you have nights with only one of them.

— when ethan is coming home late, you and chad both prepare a meal together. light music is playing in the background while you both prepare three plates (another for ethan when he gets home). chad has a habit of wrapping his arms around your waist and leaning his head on your shoulder while you cook. then after dinner you both watch a horror movie with popcorn (chad knows all the best horror movies thanks to mindy.) and take a shower together.

— when chad is coming home late, ethan helps you make dinner (he just chops vegetables and sometimes meat. poor boy can’t cook) and is constantly snacking on the food before it’s even prepared. you both save chad a plate before having a little ‘spa day.’ you both take a bath and put on face masks and (mildly) catch each other up on gossip.

— when you’re coming home late, either chad makes dinner and ethan helps or he does the work and ethan sits on the counter and tells him about all the drama (chad likes to say he doesn’t like listening, but you and ethan know he does). sometimes ethan makes him do a face mask with him and then they go play video games for the rest of the night until you come home.

— your apartment has a loveseat on the side that you all like to cuddle on while your friends are over.

— folding clothes together in the living room while watching shows like bob’s burgers.

— you guys definitely have a cat that’s named ‘kelp’ or something weird like that. when you first got the cat chad was def a little disappointed (he wanted a dog) but now he’s your cat’s favorite (much to you and ethan’s chagrin).

— whenever you say ‘i love you,’ there’s always two responses of ‘i love you more,’ back. and that phrase is something really important to the three of you.

— you like to say it during the times when you really mean it. you always love them, but there’s random times where you’re just watching them talk to each other at the dinner table and you’ll just say ‘i love you,’ because how nice is it that you can always have dinner with them?

— ethan incorporates it into his daily phrases, stuff like, “i’m gonna go now, i love you!” and “good night, i love you.” he also says it a lot while he’s drunk (he’s a sucker for you and chad, what can he say).

— chad says it during random times. sometimes he’ll just walk by you or ethan in the kitchen, pressing brief kisses to your shoulders and murmuring, “i love you.” or he’ll taste something you or ethan made and say, “oh my god, i love you. this is incredible.”

— ethan talks a lot and you and chad listen.

— sometimes chad and ethan both ramble to you about something that you know nothing about but do you care? no, because you do the exact same thing and they are always so interested

— chad and ethan go on gym dates and chad always makes ethan his pre workout for him in the morning before they leave <3

— you guys also have a shared groupchat! ethan uses it to send photos throughout his day of random things with cute little comments like ‘look at this dog i saw ◡̈’ or ‘i ordered what y/n usually gets at starbucks! i think it’s actually pretty good!’

—you use it to send photos of when you see him or chad across campus. honestly you do it cause you think it’s funny how most of the photos you take look like they’re from a stalker.

— chad uses it to send photos of the sky whenever he thinks it’s pretty (because it reminds him of the both of you). he also uses it to get yours or ethan’s opinion on something, whether it’s clothes, what he’s buying from the store, etc.

— whenever one of you is stressed/sad you have two people giving you comfort immediately. of course chad is always the one who asks, “do you want comfort or advice?” just because he wants to make sure he’s doing the right thing. but regardless the three of you have learned how to take care of each other.

#NSFW

— there was definitely a moment before you all began dating where ethan said, “wait, does that mean i’m gonna die a virgin?” and you and chad caught each other staring at ethan as though you were willing to change that for him.

chad noticed you stare at ethan, eyes set on him as though you were weighing the consequences of fucking your best friend in your head (not that chad could say anything; he was doing the same thing). your eyes noticed chad’s look, making you raise a brow at him.

“what’re you looking at, chad?”

“what’re you looking at, y/n?”

— ethan has the biggest sex drive out of the three of you. he was really inexperienced when you all started dating but after you and chad taught him the ropes he’s literally always horny.

— chad definitely prefers to be in charge in the bedroom (daddy kink for the win) but he’s actually a switch. you and ethan are only people he’s ever been submissive for.

— you’re a switch for the most part, but you do enjoy domming both chad and ethan (because who wouldn’t?) especially when they both start teasing you out in public/throughout the day (which happens a lot).

— ethan’s definitely a switch but he does prefer to be submissive to you and chad because he has a raging daddy/mommy kink oops

— you and ethan are pretty vocal in bed, but chad isn’t. a lot of the noises he makes is groans and dirty talk (which is literally filthy).

— but one time you and ethan were teasing him and chad let out a whine. when i tell you the tables changed so quickly..

— chad also does this lazy smile/smirk when one of you is riding him/sucking him off that makes him look so cocky and he knows it.

— chad’s cockiness also def shows through in his degradation/praise.

“that’s it, suck my cock,” chad murmured, one of his arms behind his head as ethan took his cock into his mouth. you were right next to him, licking at chad’s balls as ethan began bobbing his head. the poor boy was a mess of saliva and tears dripping down his chin, his head of curls gripped tightly by chad as his hips thrusted his fat cock deeper into ethan’s mouth.

a needy whine left your lips as ethan pulled off of chad’s cock, gasping in a breath before continuing to stroke it in his hands. then you both leaned in, eyes set on chad and the lazy smile on his face, before your tongues met at chad’s tip. with his tip in between your mouths, you and ethan made out with each other, whimpers and low moans falling from your mouths. licking into ethan’s mouth and tonguing at chad’s fat tip, you moaned at the sloppiness of it all, feeling yours and ethan’s saliva drip down your chins.

the lewd sight alone made chad moan, head falling back briefly. “god, you’re both so needy. you love sucking my dick that much that you both wanna share?”

“mm.. yes daddy.”

— sex is serious for the most part but sleepy sex/morning sex is always so giggly for you guys. especially when ethan and chad want to eat you out together.

“chad— dude, you gotta move to the side,” ethan groaned, trying to move himself next to the taller man. your legs were spread wide, both of them held open by chad’s hand and ethan’s, and feeling their two eyes on you, you suddenly felt exposed.

“how do we—” chad began leaning his head in at the same time as ethan’s and bumping their heads, making them both laugh. carding your hands through their hair, you couldn’t help but giggle before it turned into a moan.

chad and ethan’s tongue met in the middle as they spread your legs wider. leaning over, chad went to suck on your clit while ethan leaned down to fuck your sopping hole with his tongue, making your back arch. “there you go,” chad murmured, breath fanning over your cunt as he massages the inside of your thighs.

“mm, you taste so good, y/n,” ethan said, eyes hazy as he slipped a finger into you.

— sometimes ethan wakes the both of you up by giving you both head. he gets really needy! and if you wake up before him that’s how you wake chad up

— you love teasing them. sometimes you grind your ass against them a little too much while passing by them in the kitchen or you wear shorts around the apartment that you know chad loves, along with a tank top without a bra (so ethan’s practically drooling at your breasts)

— it usually ends with them being in charge that night. especially if your little teasing game goes on for the entire day and you pretend you know nothing about it; both of them want to punish you <3

“fuck— daddy, ‘m close,” ethan whined, throwing his head back as his cock slipped into your lips again. you peered up at him through heavy lashes, his length stifling your whimpers as chad’s cock sank deeper inside of you.

“go ahead, baby boy. cum all over y/n’s face,” chad said with a groan, watching shamelessly as your cunt took every inch of his thick cock. “fuck, you really love taking dick, huh?” he said with a breathless laugh, thrusting his hips into you harshly and reveling in the cry you let out. “too bad you won’t get to cum just yet. not until we’re finished.”

ethan let out a whine as he came all over your face, eyes set on how your tongue stuck out for him and the way it caught only some of his cum. the rest painted your face so beautifully that ethan couldn’t help but grab some with his thumb and put it into your mouth. obediently, your lips wrapped around his thumb and sucked off the rest of the cum.

— sorry not sorry ethan loves his ass ate idc. he becomes such a slit the second he feels you or chad’s tongue on his hole, arching his back and babbling, “mommy/daddy, more. please— oh fuck me.”

— chad also has an obsession with eating you out. when i tell you that man knows how to eat pussy i mean it. sit on his face, suffocate him— he wants it all as long as he’s between your thighs.

— that being said he also loves eating ethan out. primarily because ethan ends up crying and he’s just so pretty when he cries.

— chad’s sadistic/masochistic (he’s def a service top) and ethan’s the same way. but ethan’s sadism and masochism can go extreme; he loves denying you and chad of your orgasms over and over, but if you were to deny him of his over and over he’d love it more.

— chad sometimes just leans back and lets you and ethan do whatever you want to him. you could use his dick like a toy and ethan could ride his face and chad could die a happy man right there, knowing that he’s pleasuring the both of you.

— ethan has an oral fixation to the max. he always needs something in his mouth, whether it’s your tits, yours or chad’s fingers, chad’s cock, or your pussy, he just loves having his mouth full.

— whenever you’re domming, ethan is always so good while chad is nothing but a brat. but there are some rare occasions when ethan is being bratty and you and chad have to punish him.

“daddy— daddy slow down—!” ethan cried out, his hips automatically snapping against you as a result of chad’s pounding. he was crying at this point, fat tears streaming down his cheeks as he was stuck between chad’s thick cock and your tight pussy. his own cock was so hard, but the cock ring around it made it impossible for him to fuck a load into you. not that you or chad seemed to care.

“you wanted to act like such a brat earlier, ethan,” you said with faux pity, teeth digging into your bottom lip as ethan’s cock thrusted inside of you repeatedly.

“which means,” chad said, slapping ethan’s ass and making the boy moan, “you can’t give us fucking orders.” he thrusted deeper into his boyfriend, listening to the ‘uh, uh, uhs’ ethan let out as his cock fucked him harder.

“i wanna cum,” ethan sniffled, ignoring your scolding as he took your hips and thrusted into you, making your head fall back as you moaned deliciously. “daddy, p—please— mm, mm— let me cum, mommy.”

chad only chuckled darkly at that, letting out a low moan as he came inside ethan’s ass, filling him with cum— his first load of the night. “brats don’t get to cum.”

— i will say this rn; the aftercare is soso good.

— chad basically has all of your needs memorized by heart. bath? he already had it ready. food? there’s snacks on the bedside table. alone time? the guest room has its bed made and the t.v on. cuddles? of course, just let him clean you up and get you some water. don’t wanna get up? good, chad would rather you lay there while he gets everything ready.

— it kind of goes for all of you as well. you and chad are usually giving the aftercare while ethan’s receiving. but ethan knows the aftercare you both need too!

— especially after pretty hard scenes, ethan knows to reassure you both that he’s okay. it doesn’t happen often, but when you and chad feel horrible for talking to ethan in such a way, he goes out of his way to take care of you just like you both take care of him <3

[zangtang]

Everything can change at any point!

Create images here: https://www.bing.com/images/create?FORM=GENILP before i say anything else though: not following someone else's prompts means you'll likely find some wild and unexpected things yourself. If you follow my prompts like they're laws, you will only ever get results like mine. There are people doing much cooler, weirder things. Don't get restricted by this.

the site was VERY BROKEN for the last 6 days, you haven't been banned. You get 15 boosts a day which usually override any current downtime, but the popup thinks you get 25 a week, which is an indicator of how busted and poorly planned they were for this flood of users. It's not too hard to create illegal results, and there's millions of users, so it's very unlikely a human is ever looking at your results. Unless you're doing really spectacularly terrible things, of course. If you get the warning as soon as you enter your prompt, change the most controversial aspects of your prompt immediately, as repeats of this will get you suspended for increasingly long times. It is possible to make alt accounts with throwaway emails though. It's unconfirmed but it appears that US residents get priority access during US times, and UK residents can only reliably make things from 7am to 1pm for example. Weekend access is a crapshoot. I don't personally pay for ChatGPT so I can't say anything about the alleged priority access you get there, but even that can be slow and restricted during the worst times (I assume this will the their priority to fix though). There are many conflicting reports about whether it's more censored or not. Reports is a very fancy way of saying reddit comments.

Everything I superstitiously guess about prompts:

you can be very descriptive and write in natural english, or you can be very brief. both methods work, I suspect both versions do different things. repetition and restating the same thing in other ways also seems to emphasise (possibly.) Prompts can be quite chaotic and contradictory - you can describe a lot of things happening and it may surprise you, so have fun with weirdness! some words are "heavy" against the automated filters, and can be safe in one prompt and unsafe in another. think of it like buckaroo, the AI is trying to find meaning in your prompt and it will sometimes combine things and get mad about it. be aware of politics and words that may be used in erotic senses, and switch those up.

this is the format I use the most because i am super lazy and unimaginative. items in [ ] are optional and can be anything, and I don't know how the word order matters - in old Midjourney it mattered quite a bit according to guides, but now they're all pushing to parse natural english I'm not so sure:

[number of] [body type] [age] [nationality] [male noun or job] wearing [clothes], with a [size, shape] belly, [hair description], [pose], [location, time of day, weather, lighting, era], [facial expression or attitude], [actions]

The number of guys can be vague like "several." Also placing a number here will generally result in all men being fat. To add a second, very different person (even women! imagine the power), simply describe that in plain english later in the prompt. Try adding "with friends" or something and seeing what happens.

Mentioning body type is separate from mentioning that he has a large stomach because "fat man" alone doesn't make him very fat. also, the body type prompt will dictate his physical build underneath the belly - this allows you to make mpreg very easily, for example. Mentioning his belly separately also seems to be a key part in making clothes not cover it up. However, DallE has clearly gotten much better at this for some clothes, but not all of them. Formalwear is improving, though tactical vests no longer do the cute thing they used to do, and football shirts still ride up reliably. Nationality can be weird, and you can use it to exploit stereotypes, or it can be an eye-opening view of stereotypes from countries you barely know about - want to know what differentiates an Angolan man from a Kenyan man? Probably don't trust AI results! I suspect some countries are controversial due to current politics, and I suspect some are controversial due to fetishy stereotyping. However, if for example "English man" got censored, consider going for capital cities or famous regions, eg "London man." Maybe look up sports teams from that country. I'm a big fan of the "Italian-American" prompt but lately it's gotten quite a few results blocked, so I'd switch to "New Jersey," maybe even "New Jersey Italian."

"Handsome" may slim your results down, or even break the prompt entirely. Consider making your men footballers or rugby players, mention trendy haircuts, or using out of date synonyms to get round it. AI isn't all that likely to give you especially ugly results anyway, particularly if you specify ages under 40. It doesn't get the hair precisely right, but even a generic prompt like "short thick hair" can help. Giving your character a job may dictate what he'll wear, but you might want to specify what clothes you want anyway. Don't mention either if you hope he'll turn out naked. Certain jobs are tricky to use, as AI strains to be as unpolitical as possible - it doesn't want you doing politicians and it sometimes seems to refuse anything that might make the police or military look bad. However, it will accept "wearing a [colour] uniform/pilot shirt" very happily, because it's duuuuumb.

Mention trousers, footwear or even just feet if your results keep zooming in too much. (It'll also zoom in if you mention too much about his face, I think.) Side view appears to make certain prompts fatter, but will often mean he's looking away - you can add "Looking at camera" if you want that. Metallic and plastic clothes can have very fun and weird results, especially if you change the location to a night setting in the rain. Gladiator costumes will reduce his clothes to a few leather straps.

"Flex pose" and "strong pose" will get butch bodybuilder poses (it will also buff up the muscle mass) and "battling strong winds" gets very superhero poses. At least when I was trying these out, I found I couldn't actually get proper bodybuilder poses or mention of superheroes past the censor, but it's been a few weeks so who knows what it's up to now. Give them all a go!

Casual poses and actions can liven things up a little if you just want portraits but don't want it to repeatedly be the same thing facing you directly. Getting out of a car, climbing stairs, leaning against things, adjusting his clothes or putting on a coat, all these kinds of things work. Smoking or drinking does quite a lot. "Tired" or "Exhausted" changes his attitude a lot too, your leans get leaned into more.

Contact words can be a little difficult, so consider ways to exploit using soft contact, or be very wordy and detailed about it so it's not misinterpreting you. "Patting him on the back" is a fairly safe phrase, but DallE isn't intelligent, so it will allow the contact but it will struggle to be precise, especially when the bodies are fat or not positioned in a way they can reach the back - the result of this is that there will be a lot of belly pats. Prodding in the stomach, pointing at the stomach, these both work, but I think DallE is vague about stomach=torso and you may want "pointing at his belt" to give a lower focus. Admiring can direct attention and vibes, whispering will draw their heads closer and make them interact somewhat. Embracing and hugging work but is very heavy for the censor, "hugging on his shoulder/belly" seems safer for some reason. Shaking, grabbing, "examining/concerned about his belly" can work. Bizarrely, squeezing past another man in a narrow corridor/doorway/cupboard works if you want a LOT of contact. And if you want unpredictable contact, fighting can work.

For more dynamic safe contact, try sporting actions. Baseball slides, football tackles, that kind of thing. It's hard to get them to lie flat and the AI seems to resist allowing heads to touch the ground, but "lying in a hammock" works pretty well, and sometimes specifying what the head is touching works. pretty much every minor prompt variation and scenario I've ever used:

"falling onto a broken chair/breaking an object with his weight" "washing windows" "with waiters helping him up" "with friends bringing him food" "falling over another man" "outside of a skyscraper washing windows, harness for safety, hoisted" "hyper-obese man wearing denim dungarees with an enormous inflated belly, drinking from a hose" ("blowing into a hose" gets better expressions for that IMO) "stuck in a broken narrow red british phonebooth with another man, bursting out with his enormous belly, black trousers" "bent over eating at a pie eating contest wearing a dirty white tank top with an enormous round belly and his face hidden buried in messy pie" "sitting on a throne next to a very fat 35 year old spanish monarch" "lying on his back the floor, enjoying a banquet, side view, tired expression" "very fat 35 year old handsome british man wearing tracksuit and gold chain with a hugely distended beerbelly, man with a massive round stomach, washing his car in a carpark at night side view" "at water park, stuck in a water slide" "before and after weightloss picture, in the left he is X and in the right he is Y" "with a large round belly spilled over eating at a banquet with an enormous round belly, bronzed, with waiters helping him up/being prodded with a fork" "washing dishes and leaning over his belly on a freestanding enamel pedestal basin" "climbing and leaning against a stepladder to change a lightbulb on the ceiling [with friend holding the stepladder steady]" "side view, photo of two 40 year old beefy handsome fat italian-american rugby player with a hugely distended round belly, resting hand on his chest, wearing a tracksuit with a gigantic round sagging stomach, gold chain, raining, whispering in a car park at night, leaning/hugging on shoulder, tired, stern expression looking at camera, smoking a cigarette" "side view photo of two strong 40 year old handsome samoan rugby player with a hugely distended round beerbelly, chest hair, wearing a white formal shirt and black suit, hugging on his belly, proud expectant father, boyfriends outside a busy pub at night, stern, looking at camera, raining" "two fat los angeles rams handsome footballers wearing white pilot shirt and plain tie and black trousers pushing through a narrow saloon door with their enormously distended beerbellies, stern" "photo of very fat 30 year old hunk rugby player with enormously distended belly, carrying his belly in a wheelbarrow" "very fat 35 year old man wearing white pilot shirt with an enormous round belly, tough man with a very large beerbelly, too fat for small broken airplane seat sitting on another man, fat belly spilling over armrest and pressing against over man, black trousers, slightly concerned, suave" "being carried on the back of a flatbed truck" can turn them into horrific lardvalanches but you don't get much control over it

original characters do not steal prompts: "30 year old man who looks like he's the main character from the game Uncharted with an enormous distended round beerbelly, with one hand on a bar in a pub, nathan" This is sometimes surprisingly effective, but most often it'll simply draw vibes from the IP mentioned, so you can use it to get specific settings at least

Try spelling the names wrong or reversing the name order - sometimes it'll even accept names sprinkled throughout the prompt. Repeating the name may increase its effect (it might also not!) Also it's speculated that placing the celebrity fraud in a place or situation they would normally be found in helps. That said, I could only get a Robert Downey Jr if I made him dress as a gladiator. So maybe weirdness and ingenuity are your strengths. see also https://www.tumblr.com/baron-bear/731903035856584704/what-do-you-use-for-your-ai-stuff

[omamorens]

Do you have any HCs with Ivy and Ink Blade?

OH BOY IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS ONE. ivy is a very interesting character to me (fhjy spoilers: and im glad she survived). tho people might not really like her that much, i think shes neat and could have a lot of nuances if her character could be explored enough

ivy (pre and post shatter-star) is a regina george mean girl but with pop-punk rock aesthetics.

she’s a girls girl and much like her canon, she loves fashion.

loves fashion in a sense that she loves it for Herself and not because she wants to impress anyone.

she does not give a shit about what anyone thinks of her actually, and that generally comes off as “mean”.

ivy only sees her attitude as a filter for those too weak to be acquainted with her.

though she has a hard exterior, she does have a soft spot for those who could actually stick by her.

riding off on that “loves fashion” part, i think ivy is particularly good at finding good deals and the best bargains. she doesn’t go for the most expensive stuff because that’s just wasteful.

she’s the type of friend you want to go to the flea market with because this girl drives a hard bargain.

riding off of that, ivy always takes oisin out to shop because there’s not a lot of dragonborn-proof clothes for him so when they do find stuff, its too expensive to be worth it unless ivy is the one bargaining for him.

oisin is always grateful of her for it.

in her shatter-star state, ivy’s “mean” attitude got nastier and more cruel

ivy has a hard time asking for forgiveness (oisin will tell you that she almost never says the word “i’m sorry” genuinely), but she does it in her own way.

sometimes when she passes by mazey in the halls, ivy genuinely compliments the bard on her badidas.

“nice shoes. they’re the 90’ exclusive line, right? those were the best quality shoes they released. such a shame their next series went downhill from there.”

mazey, apprehensive of ivy at first but open to having this conversation with her, “no, yeah, you’re absolutely right. these are the only pairs i can both dance and fight in. its been a year but theyre still going strong.”

and the girls continue talking about finding the best deals and the most practical clothing they could have as adventurers. fabian is not very happy about this.

mazey of course is not required to forgive ivy for things she said and done, and ivy is not at all actively seeking for verbal forgiveness anyway

but they can be courteous to each other and bond over similar interests

lucy, being a frost genasi, absolutely knows how to knit. she knits her own clothes sometimes because not much clothing items in stores have her size.

when ivy found out about this during freshman year, ivy asked lucy to teach her and they absolutely bonded over knitting.

at some point both the girls have knitted some stuff for all the members of their party.

everyone still keeps their knitted gifts, even if they’re frayed or have grown too small for them to use.

surely i will have more to write on her character but for now these are what i have on the top of my head. ivy embra they dont get you like i do (ivy hcs with inkblade i will continue in another post because this one got too long)

[atthebell]

do people understand that your reblog tags on a post do not impact whether or not a post goes into the main tag. like it does not matter how many times people in my notes tag a post of mine with "qsmp" or whatever the tag is, it's not going into that main tag; that's not how browsing tags work. the ONLY way a post goes into a browsible tag is by OP putting the tags on the original post.

relatedly, do people understand that tag blocking functions the opposite way-- if someone tags "discourse" on a post at any time, it is immediately blocked for anyone who has "discourse" on their filtered tags list. does not matter what op tagged, does not matter who puts it on your dash from that point forward, the tag is on the post so it's going to be filtered. this is how i end up not seeing a lot of those big "tag a piece of media that--" posts; it's because i have a lot of things blocked, so anytime a single person tags any of them on a post, i have the whole post blocked. [and i use xkit rewritten, which means i don't even see the post at all]

also related-- there is a difference between actually browsing a tag and searching a phrase-- tumblr has made it kind of strange to tell the exact difference, so i'll demonstrate:

so when i type in "qsmp fanart", it gives me a couple of options.

first, i can click "Go to #qsmp fanart", which will take me to the tag "qsmp fanart":

rad, exactly what i'm looking for, i'll scroll through latest to see what people have posted in the last couple hours.

however, secondly, it gives me the option "[search] qsmp fanart", which is NOT the same thing as opening the tag itself. it will open the search function and look up "qsmp fanart," meaning it grabs whatever assortment of posts tumblr's broken search engine has decided mention "qsmp fanart":

[most of said posts are, in fact, qsmp fanart, as the way tumblr's search indexing works does include searching tags, but it also searches post content. i'm censoring because posting screenshots of people's art feels iffy to me, not because i have any issue with the art itself.]

these two things are NOT the same. one of these takes you do the actual tag, the other makes you search for those terms mentioned on a post. which, like i said, means it indexes not just the tags but the post content itself-- this means any mention of said search term on a post means it could be seen in this search (unless OP has their blog marked unsearchable). for a while, as well, tumblr made this the default whenever you pressed enter rather than manually clicking an option, meaning people would think they were opening the tag to browse it but instead were searching for whatever they entered. i believe they've fixed that now, or at least one of my extensions has; regardless, clicking the # option will get you to the right place.

this is, in part, how i think we get people going "you put neg in the main tag!!!" which, while it does happen often, is not always the issue; what actually happened is tumblr actually had them search for the term mentioned in the tag rather than going into the tag itself. regardless of this issue, though, i think it's just good for people to understand the difference between when they're searching posts (not very helpful at times, doesn't get you much of what you're probably looking for depending on the search term, drags up every single post (that tumblr can actually index properly) that mentions the term) versus when they're opening the tag (OPs here clearly actually want you to see their posts).

[kickthecan-revolution]

A long time ago when Trump was first in office, I had a sustained two week anxiety attack, convinced we were going to experience a significant war and I had to be prepared. I’d just gotten a big bonus and I spent a ton of it on survivor gear - all of those buckets of rice, beans, dehydrated food, camping gear, solar lights - so much more. I made go bags for work, my car and home. The primary one was stolen when I first moved in here via a break in where thieves stole a lot of stuff people were storing in the garage. The backpack was in my parking spot - poof, gone.

I lugged so much of it here - over the years I’ve slowly simplified it but I’ve been a little afraid to let all of it go. it started this habit of buying extras - why not buy three Justin’s boxes of peanut butter packets even though I only need one? Why not have five ketchups so I never run out?

When R was here organizing, I *saw* it - all of the canned food that had expired, all of the stuff I was keeping in the pantry that I didn’t use because I didn’t even know I had it. She gently said “if you feel like you want to bake cookies, you can just zip over to the store and buy flour.” Part of it was never having enough food when we were little - we could afford it, my mom just never bought enough for us. It’s why I’d drive around on Christmas looking for snack food before all the kids came over. Granted, that could be my food insecurity speaking and my filter was grounded from that, it’s a very likely possibility.

Anyway. R is coming back for my last infusion bringing her BFF A who is an organizer and a professional chef. She’s going to organize so much of my stuff but the deal is, I only have what I really want to keep, consider getting rid of the extras of things I don’t need (including three spatulas, etc) and focusing on keeping what I love and use for myself every week instead of all of the imaginary dinner parties I throw in my head. So that’s what I’ve done today, after…11 hours of sleep? I’ve been slowly whittling it all down and it feels so great. I’m 90% done. It’s not as much as I thought but it’s just so good to let it go.

My surgery is tentatively scheduled for October 01, pending what happens with this biopsy on Friday. That feels lightning fast. My last chemo infusion is next Wednesday - I’m not going to lie, I’m afraid of it based on this last one, I was so debilitated by the fatigue, I had more hair shedding than usual, no appetite and the peripheral neuropathy was hard so I’m going to try to freeze my hands and feet during the infusion to prevent it. It has definitely lessened, thank God but it’s not gone away entirely. It can take a long time.

I cry so frequently these days, even writing that it’s the last one. I’ve held it all together for five months, and I can feel the emotional and mental reserves I’ve leaned on to that beginning to crumble. That’s probably good. Things are starting to get……thin when I’m sleeping. My dreams are wild and I heard repeated knocking three times last night. My cats were on high alert. I pit myself in a golden bubble and reminded myself that I live in a building where people could be knocking at other doors, not likely at 3am but it helped. I stayed up until 4:30am watching The Office and then slept hard until 9am.

I’m numb when I think of the MRI biopsy on Friday, two of my worst things happening at the same time is like a cruel joke (biopsies aren’t painful but just traumatic waiting for the results). I’m strong - I can and will do this. And then chemo, and then the surgery which completely freaks me out - I have a massive fear of “going under” - and then I’ll know what happens after those biopsies come back.

In talking about work, my oncologist recommend that I extend my leave of absence to at least March of next year. The neuropathy is concerning her as are my cognitive tests, and I think for a living. She reminded me how they have taken my body to the point of decline where the basics work but there’s a lot of damage. And the mental damage of all of the biopsies on top of that, she thinks I need time. I agree with her. So I’m going to pursue that, it means I live on a lot less and I don’t think I am guaranteed a job when I go back but I’m not worried about that.

[that-struggling-writer-lh]

Look How Pretty You Are.

No outbreak! No use of y/n!

WARNINGS: DBF! 18+ Minors DNI. This is smut! BIG age gap. (Reader is 22, Joel in his 40s) Unprotected p in v (don't be dumb). Praise, quite a quicky. Would love to write a part 2 to this, tbh.

WORD COUNT: 5.2k

Coming home from college in the summer meant two things. I was left to my own devices Monday through Friday, and weekends were crazy. Loud, party filled affairs my parents put on with the entire neighborhood being welcome. This summer was different, though.

Freshly graduated means that this summer was my last one before becoming a “real adult” as my parents put it, even if with the fancy business degree I’d likely just end up in the office dad’s contracting business. A silent, small building that was really just a way for calls to be directed to him from the desk, filtering the bullshit and getting to the point. The click clack of fingers on the keyboard as I did payroll, budgeting, projections, ad flyers. The works. Most of the work was boring, lonely. Silent. 

“Hey, can you run to the store for some beer? Mixers? Snacks?” Dad’s tall figure peeked into the office, clothes covered in sawdust, face covered in sweat. “Friday night and all now that you’re old enough to make those kinds of runs. It’s quiet today. Let yourself off early.” 

I mulled it over momentarily, not really wanting to go shopping for my parents’ party. But knowing it might get me into the party this year, when all previous I’d been asked to stay inside, book in hand, or movie playing loudly to try to drown out the noise of splashing in the pool, hollering and dancing to upbeat music on the porch, “Sure, I can do that. If I can actually attend this year.” 

My father ran a hand through his thinning hair, “Alright, sure.” he shook his head in a “no” motion, but the verbal okay was all I needed.

A smile tugging my lips, “Give me your card?” I motioned for the wallet tucked into his opposite hand, grabbing my car keys and nodding.

“I’ll also keep you on the clock until five if you do a favor for-”

“What? What favor?” slight annoyance tugging at my stomach, but knowing that extra money coupled with the prospect of a night drinking with the neighborhood was too good to pass up.

“Joel sent his grocery list. With Sarah away now, he’s having a hard time remembering these things. He asked if maybe you’d be willing to lend him a hand there, and I said sure.”

“As long as he fixes that shelf in my closet like he promised five years ago.” I tore the slip of coffee stained notebook paper from my father’s hand and eyed it carefully after remembering the shelf that had broken above my head in my bedroom closet while moving out for my first year of college. Dad promised it would be fixed before I was home for Thanksgiving and Christmas, five years later it was still impossible to put any items above my head to sit on the wood.

“Consider it done, I’ll have Joel get on it next week.”

Steak, chicken, snack food, rice, potatoes. “Can I add things? Is this really all he eats?” I raised a quizzical eyebrow, “how is he still alive?”

My father laughed softly, “Sarah used to do all that, just take his card and grab what you think he’ll like, I guess.” 

Joel. The much older, very handsome man who had been the object of my desire since I was old enough to understand the term dilf, Joel. Always present, always prepared, my father’s best friend since High School. So extremely off-limits, even now that you’re an adult. It would only bring trouble.

My father handed the two credit cards to me. I guess today’s task was to be a personal shopper.

Joel, who I’ve had a key to his house since I was hardly ten years old, Sarah and I frequently needed it after school to group together to finish homework, raid the cabinets, and make messes through the home until her father would come back and scold us for being teenagers. 

Joel, who was my first fantasy. Authoritative, but kind. Hard, but soft. Ruthless, but understanding of my and his daughter’s antics up until his tear streaked face sent both of us away to the same college, except I returned home and she found a job in the city.

Joel, even thinking of him at the red light while waiting to turn into the grocery store had me clenching my thighs together in my sundress, need filling me even when knowing I’d never get to taste.

The list focus. I got all of his essentials and then some, wanting him to be satiated for longer than the weekend, giving him options for the start of the week before he’d inevitably go back to fast-food runs between job sites.

After Joel’s list was taken care of, I shopped for the party, dividing the orders up before checking out and returning to town, stopping first at Joel’s house since his order had more need to go to the fridge than the alcohol and snacks my father had asked for.

Halfway through putting his order away and tidying a few other areas to be helpful, the front door opened, the sound of boots kicking off, Joel’s muttered voice so quiet I couldn’t hear it. I suppose he was used to talking to himself now, though.

“I thought I saw your car here.” his friendly tone rang from the kitchen entrance.

“Yeah, Dad gave me your list. So I figured I’d get it all set for you. I didn’t know when you’d be finished over at that apartment complex, so I- well. You know.”

“You tidied up?” he asked, looking at the organized dining table, and the lack of dishes in the sink.

“There were only a few things, I thought-”

“Thank you. I’ve been a mess with my little girl gone.” he smiled.

“She misses you. We called each other last week. Talked about the hell we raised here, how we were sure you hated us.” I laughed softly, closing the fridge and putting a box in the familiar cabinets, knowing this house as well as I knew my own.

“Nah, I could never hate you girls. Kids being kids, is all. I was young once, too.” he had a soft look of remembrance, looking at me like he was a million years away, “But you’re all grown up now. Well adjusted, smart, beautiful girl.” he sighed, rinsing out his coffee thermos in the sink quickly.

I had never heard him call me beautiful before, and my heart lurched at the compliment. Though, I’m sure he meant it in a far different way than I’d construed. Like a second daughter, like a neighbor across the street. Like someone he helped raise. Not like beautiful beautiful, “Thank you, Mr. Miller.” I smiled softly at his sentiment, anyway. Wiping down the counters when I’d finished, “I took the liberty of getting you some extras. Steak and potato diet only gets you so far.”

“Oh, thank you.” he sounded genuinely grateful, “I never know what to do, or what to eat, really. Sarah usually would-”

“I know, she’s a great cook.” I giggled, showing him the receipt that I’d crumpled in the pocket of my cardigan, placing it in his hand, “Here’s the damage.”

He looked everything over carefully, “That’s fine.” he nodded, “Thank you. But, don’t call me Mr. Miller. That’s weird.” he smirked, “Just Joel. Same as always for the last 22 years.”

“Sorry.” I laughed shyly.

“I’m gonna hit the shower before heading to your folks’ place.”

“Okay. I’ll see you later, Joel.” I smiled softly and he rested his hand on my lower back as he brushed by me to create space between himself, me, and the kitchen island. Such a simple gesture, but the placement was new. Usually he’d touch my shoulder or ask me to step aside for him.

I tidied the magazines and newspapers littering the coffee table, dusting the surface with a cloth before I left, I debated on vacuuming but left the rest as is, I’m not his housekeeper. I’m not replacing Sarah. He’s grown, he can take care of it, surely. Before I had time to slip back into my flats, the water was already off and the bathroom door was opening. I turned away as I folded the throw blankets and Joel’s surprise at seeing me still in his house was obviously justified, “Dammit, you scared me!” he clutched his abdomen and sighed in relief, “What are you still doing here?” not angry, quizzical.

“I noticed some magazines all out of place, so I thought I’d do that. But then I saw dust, and then the blankets- sorry, Joel. I didn’t think you’d be so fast.” I let out a breathy laugh and turned to face him for just a moment before covering my eyes up again. He was only wearing a towel, water droplets decorating his toned frame, dripping from his soft, curly hair that’s been made slightly gray over the years.

He sighed, not in frustration. Just a sigh, “You don’t need to take care of me like this. I’m fine, Sweetheart. Really.”

“I know. I just. This house is so special to me. I practically grew up here.” I looked to the location of the coffee table and could practically see Sarah and I grunting to move it aside and lay a million blankets and pillows out on the floor for our sleepovers. Popcorn kernels and candy all over the floor, empty box of pizza that Joel would have helped us scarf down before disappearing into the backyard or the master bedroom to leave us alone for the remainder of the evening. He never lingered too long, never tried to be the cool dad. Knew when it was time to leave his daughter and her friends alone.

His tone was even softer now, “It is a pretty special place, huh? Your Daddy helped me build it from the ground up. Pouring that concrete, framing up the walls. Drywall, mudding, installing. This house was the best job I’ve ever done for my family. Promised so much.” I knew he was reminiscing about his wife who had passed away more than a decade ago. The way he looked so far away even though he was right there. 

I dared to continue to keep my eyes on him despite his attire, “I miss her, too.” I said suddenly, his eyes flitted to mine and he smiled weakly.

“Why don’t you head on home, Dollface? I saw all the bags you still have to unpack over there in your car.” He shifted his weight from one foot to the other, adjusting his towel to ensure it was secure enough.

My mouth ran dry at the sight of him, I felt so guilty for it after such a tender moment, “Sure. Enjoy your groceries, Joel.” I smirked and slipped into my shoes, letting myself out and backing from his driveway into mine. Perks of being across the street.

My parents had yet to return, so I quickly unloaded and prepped the snacks into serving trays and bowls, put the booze on ice in coolers and began dragging everything to the backyard, filling the picnic table by the pool with things to eat, cooler resting on the ground beside everything else.

I made myself busy getting ready, slipping from my work clothes to a black bikini covered by shorts and a plain off-shoulder long sleeve shirt. The sun would set soon, dropping the scorching temperature. I added a soft lipstick and touched up my makeup, keeping my hair down. By the time I finished I could hear the familiar bustle of my folks in the kitchen, prepping for the grill and salads. 

I offered a hand in the kitchen, as typical and my mother handed me a large knife, “Quarter the cucumber and dice some tomato for the salad, please.” she instructed as my father poured seasonings into a dish of various cuts of chicken.

I set to work, “I dropped that stuff off for Joel, Dad.” I started, and he hummed in response as a thank you.

“Thanks, baby.” he said as he massaged the seasonings into the meat, “He just needs a little hand for now is all, I’m sure in a few weeks when the busy season is over he’ll be right. Maybe it can be a regular thing, if you wouldn’t mind.”

“No, I don’t mind. I miss being there all the time, anyway. Such sweet memories from growing up in that house.” I mused, the rhythmic chopping on the cutting board in front of me keeping me at a steady pace.

“How is Sarah, anyway? Talk to her lately?”

“Fine, she likes her new job, dating around a little. Nothing major aside from roommate drama. She doesn’t like apartment life.”

“Not like being roommates in the dorms with you, huh?”

I scoffed softly, “Evidently not.”

The small talk continued until we opened the front door for our neighbors and Joel was first over, as typical. He and my father sat poolside in lounge chairs, beer in hand laughing and talking like usual until others joined them.

I found myself watching him from the window above the sink as I scrubbed at the dishes left behind, watching his dimpled cheek when he smiled, the curve of his mouth around the glass bottle, how he would scratch at the stubble on his cheeks when thinking. I could see their bottles were nearly empty, so I finished scrubbing a pan and headed to the yard, opening a cooler and grabbing three bottles, two for the men, one for me. I cracked mine first and took a swig, then cracked the other two and brought them over, “Noticed you guys were looking a little low.” I eyed Joel instead of my father.

“Why, thank you, Dollface.” Joel smirked and held the drink up in a cheers motion, “What a sweet girl you have, Jimmy. Always looking out for the guests.”

“She learned hosting from her Mama, Joel. Certainly not me.” my dad quipped, nodding a thanks to me as I handed them each a bottle.

I felt a blush creep up with how Joel was examining me, and I wondered if that was the same way I was watching him earlier. He took the bottle from my hand and pushed further, “While you’re being so gracious, can you get me a little snack while we wait for the others to get here? Feelin’ a little peckish.”

I smirked and faked an annoyed eye roll, “Yes, sir. Welcome to my restaurant. What would you like?” 

Joel laughed at that, “Surprise me.”

I made my way to the snack table and loaded a small plate with cheese, crackers, meats, and cold veggies, bringing it back to the familiar man, “Careful, there’s poison somewhere in there.” I joked and his smile broadened.

“Thank you, Sweetheart.”

“You’re welcome, Old Man.” I quipped back before returning inside to clean up the rest of the mess and my father laughed.

Before it was fully dark outside our backyard was full of people. I made light of the event, socializing, recapping the last four years of my time away with neighbors. I kept nursing drink after drink to help my nerves keep calm, my social meter tapped out by around ten p.m with hours left to go.

I stepped inside and retreated to the bathroom to get just a single moment where I didn’t have to talk to anybody, the harsh lighting burning my blurred eyes after spending hours in the soft lighting of the backyard.

I splashed a little water on my face and when I opened the door I gasped to see Joel standing there, “Oh, sorry, Sweetheart.” his eyes burned the same color as mine, lids heavy with drink.

“It’s fine, Joel.” I nearly pushed by him but his smirk stopped me.

“I’m not Old Man anymore?” he towered over me, and this close I had to look up to meet his eyes.

“Oh, you’re still old.” I giggled, the quiet of the house was a complete contrast to the music coming from outside. The rest of the party dancing, socializing, drinking.

He hummed in response and set his hand on my waist, looking into the bathroom, “You done in here or can I take a piss, Gorgeous?”

I flushed instantly, “Sorry, sir.” and stepped aside.

His eyebrows raised softly “So tense with me. Almost like-”

“Almost like what?” my heart began drumming inside of my chest.

“Nah, nothing.” 

I pushed by him and let him in, closing the door behind me with a “You need to fix my closet next week, Joel.” 

“Anything for you, Babygirl.” he called from behind the closed door and I felt myself melting inside.

“Promise?” I giggled, pushing the boundary thanks to the mixed drinks in my blood.

Silence for a few moments, running water, and then the opening of the door, something had changed in his eyes in the few moments from behind the barricade of the door. “Of course, Sweetheart. Anything.”

I swallowed a lump in my throat and felt my eyes close softly unconsciously. I snapped them back open, feigning off embarrassment. 

“You’ve been acting strange since you moved back home. Everything okay?” he sounded concerned.

“Fine. It’s-” I almost admitted it was him. I shut my mouth before I could say anything sober me would regret.

His full lips tipped up into a half-smirk, “It’s. It’s. It’s-” a pause, he wanted me to continue, “Spit it out, Doll. What’s bothering my girl?” his tone was the same as it always was when I was needing advice growing up, but his eyes were darkened.

“You.” I whispered so quietly I wasn’t even sure I said it or if I just thought it.

“Me?” he said after a long pause, furrowing his brows.

“It’s- Nevermind. So stupid of me.” I turned on my heel and started away from him, but he grabbed my wrist carefully to stop me.

“You’re not stupid.” his eyes held promise. Safety.

“If I say what’s on my mind you’ll change your mind, Mr. Miller.” I felt smaller than a mouse at that moment. The liquid courage pushed me on as he continued to press.

“I promise. Nothing you say could ever change my mind.” 

“I’ve been acting weird because of you.” his hand was still gripping my wrist and his hand tightened for a fraction of a second, my skin burned deliciously at his touch.

“Have I done something wrong?” he asked cautiously.

“The opposite.” my voice was still a whisper, and his was dropping now, too. Reading that this was a conversation better kept private.

He hummed again, “Do you-”

“Since I was a teenager I’ve had a crush on you. The older I get the more I can read you. The older I get the more I-... The more I cannot think about anything else but how it would feel to-” I stopped. Stupid. “Stupid.”

“No.” he shook his head, “I’ve been watching you the last few months.” he admitted, “You’re not a little girl anymore. Far from it. A gorgeous woman. You’re not stupid for thinking, but it could cause issues.” his eyes held concern.

“With Sarah.”

“And your old man.” he finished my thought.

“You-you feel it, too?”

He nodded once, a silent reply.

I stared at his lips suddenly. Then his eyes. Feeling my reserve crumbling around me, hoping his was, too. I turned my figure more toward him and he pressed his spare hand, still damp from washing into the small of my back, still gripping my wrist with his free hand. “Are you going to kiss me, Joel?” the silent, darkened hall and our hushed voices would raise alarm for anyone within earshot. Thank God we were the only ones in the house.

He didn’t answer with words, but let my wrist go and cupped my jaw in his hand, pressing me against his toned body, hands all rough from his job. Hesitantly, slowly he was leaning down to my level before his breath hit my lips and he stopped. Knitting his brows together, biting down on his bottom lip. He was fighting a war in himself, one that he was going to lose. “Please, if you’re going to kiss me… Please. I’m begging.” I shot my eyes back to his as my whimpered plea ran out of my mouth like a track star and he was pressing his lips against mine in no time at all.

Soft, tangy with beer. Electric. Everything I had ever dreamed of. I gasped as my senses were overloaded with him, and he wrapped his arm around me tighter, his grip on my jaw was iron. I placed my hands on his chest and he mistook it for pushing him away, “God, I-I’m so sorry-” he started, but kept his hands in their places.

“No. I’ve waited ten years for this moment.” I admitted, looking up at him through my lashes, “please don’t be sorry.”

He reconnected his lips to mine, taking advantage of the still quiet house before pulling me into the bathroom and slamming the door shut behind him.

I leaned my back against the counter and wrapped my arms around his broad shoulders, he was feverish. The way he clung to my hips in desperation, licking into my mouth at the added privacy of the bathroom. I allowed him access, moaning softly against his tongue, curling my fingers around the hair at the nape of his neck. He tasted like heaven. He pulled away again, and his eyes were almost deranged looking with a mix of emotions, “Fuck, we could get in trouble.” he whispered.

I felt wetness pooling into the bottoms of my bikini at the sight of him panting, flustered, red. The prospect of getting caught wasn’t going to deter me, though. Not right now, at least, I dropped to my knees in front of him and quickly undid his belt, “What are you doing, baby?” he cooed, running a hand through my hair.

“I’ll be fast.” I promised, looking up at him with doe eyes. I’d never seen him from this angle before, I figured if we were already in trouble I may as well make my fantasy come true.

He didn’t object, but nodded and let a shaky breath escape his parted lips as I made quick work of his button and fly, he shimmied his jeans off of his hips and let the dense fabric fall to his ankles, I gawked at his bulge for just a moment, gasping at the size and girth presented to me at eye level. I trailed kisses up his thighs, over the fabric of his briefs and along the bony ridges of his hips, “Please, Sweetheart. Hurry before we get in trouble.”

I pulled his hardened member from the top of his briefs and quickly sunk my mouth down around him, no teasing. No taking time. I took him as far as I could before the threat of gagging sprung on me, wetting him with my tongue.

“Nngh-Fuck. You’re not so innocent as you look, huh?” he grunted softly, his voice strained, bracing himself on the ledge of the counter behind me with his hands.

I hummed around him and he bucked his hips further down my throat, saliva dripping down my chin from the sudden movement. He pulled me off of his length by my hair and cupped my face in his hands, my mouth chased his throbbing cock as he removed me, “Joel, I just want to make you feel good.”

He nodded in response, closing his eyes to try to gain composure, “You are.” he whispered, pulling me up to stand by my hands, working at the button on my shorts, yanking them down and turning me around so I was facing the vanity mirror, hands roaming around underneath my sweatshirt, grasping my breasts while I stared at the two of us in the mirror. 

“Fuck…” I whispered, looking at our crazy expressions. Lust-filled eyes, swollen lips, red cheeks.

“You’re beautiful.” he whispered, dipping his hand into my bikini bottoms, feeling my wetness while watching us in the mirror, keeping, “So wet for me.” he whispered against my neck, kissing softly.

I whimpered at the contact he made with my clit suddenly, and rolled my hips against his hand for relief, he pulled his finger away and licked my slick away, he groaned softly, “You taste like Heaven.” he bit my shoulder playfully and whispered against my skin, “You want me to fuck you? Right here, while the entire block is just outside?” 

My legs trembled at the image that flashed in my mind, and I nodded quickly.

“Use your words, Sweetheart. I need to hear you.” his hands traveled the curve of my thighs and ass, squeezing the plush flesh.

“Yes, Joel. I want you to fuck me while everybody is just outside. While it’s so easy for us to get caught, I want you to fuck me so good I can’t even remember my own name after.”

“Good girl.” he untied the rest of my bathing suit and let it drop, fully exposing my lower-half to him. Both of us were only wearing our shirts now, he trailed his fingers delicately over my skin and kept his voice low. “You have to be silent, baby. Silent.” his eyes showed concern, “Be a good girl for me and nod that you understand. Show me how silent you can be.”

I nodded once in confirmation, clenching around nothing aside from the prospect of being filled up by Joel Miller.

He kept his eyes on my face from the mirror as he pumped his hand up and down his cock a few times, readying himself for me, running the tip along my slick and pushing the tip in. “You’re so goddamn tight,” he cooed and my eyes rolled back at trying to suppress a noise that threatened to erupt from the depths of my soul at him splitting me open for him, slowly easing in centimeter by centimeter. Too tight for him not to savor the feeling of me throbbing around him.

“Joel.” I whispered, hardly audible.

“Silent.” he warned, a crazed look in his eye as he stilled his movements.

I nodded, and he wasted no more time stretching me slowly along his cock, he pushed in hard and fast the rest of the way. Watching me fall apart and lean against the counter for support.

I opened my mouth and forced myself to make no sound, grinding my hips back against his as he panted softly, stilling when he filled me to the hilt, “So good, baby. Such a good girl.” he gripped my hips hard and picked up a slow rhythm, filling me and then retreating fully. Teasing that delicate spot so deep inside my own fingers can never reach.

I whimpered softly, hardly a sound at all and he snapped his hips against my ass, “So pretty like this. Staring at yourself getting fucked by your father’s best friend. So obedient and quiet for me.” he watched us in the mirror, my face red from suppressing myself. Knuckles white against the edge of the counter.

His hand snaked around my hip to my stomach, trailing down until he found my clit, rubbing deliciously slow circles around the sensitive bud.

I couldn’t help it, the feeling of being full to the brim and the added pleasure from the sensitive spot forced me to release a moan of pure bliss, “That’s so good.” I let out, and he clamped his other hand over my mouth, shaking his head quickly and pulling out of me.

“On the floor, lay down.” he pointed to the floor and I laid on my back, he fit himself between my knees and covered my mouth again, using his other arm to support his weight above me. “Silent. This is your last warning.”

I nodded, eyes wide, boring into his serious, caramel colored irises.

He snapped his hips to mine, this new angle filling me even better, and his pace was fast, desperate, hard. He never took his hand off of my mouth the entire time he whispered praises against my neck while he bit, kissed and licked my tingling skin.

I stayed silent for him, taking in his hushed praises through heavy lids and flushed skin, My breathing hitched as I felt the waves of my orgasm begin to ripple through me.

“Cum for me, Sweetheart. I want to feel how good my cock is to you.” he pressed his hand down more firmly, a reminder of my task. Silence.

My eyes rolled back sharply as I arched into him, clenching desperately as his cock, breathing labored as my nails clutched into his hips, leaving small crescent shaped marks in his skin.

“Good girl. Good girl. Look how pretty you are when you fall apart for me.” he bit his lip as he continued his pace, riding out my high while chasing his own, and I held my breath against his hand.

It wasn’t long after mine that he began to crumble, his pace faltering, his breaths ragged as he ground his hips against mine slower and slower. Softer and softer. He pulled himself out of my throbbing pussy and let his warmth burst out over my thigh.

Finally removing his hand from my mouth I clutched the fabric of his shirt desperately, pressing his lips to mine. He grunted against my lips; a satisfied, unconscious noise. When he pulled away and pressed his forehead against mine, I could only imagine the expression I was making for him. Fucked out, touched out, desperate to take him again. Properly, not on the bathroom floor while a party raged on around us outside.

As if having the same thought, he cleaned me up with a washcloth from the linen closet and slipped into his jeans, buckling the belt. “Go to your room and wait a few minutes. Don’t wanna look suspicious.” he shrugged.

“Right.” I nodded, scrambling for my shorts and grabbing the bikini bottoms from the floor, only bothering to put the shorts on before pushing the door open and hurrying to the stairwell.

“Wait.” Joel’s voice was a harsh whisper, and I turned to face him, “Let’s do this properly next time.” He suggested, “Not in a bathroom.”

I nodded once before running up the steps, feeling empty now that he wasn’t buried inside of me but knew time was of the essence right now. I figured I’d make up some excuse about being clumsy and spilling a drink or food on my outfit and that’s what took me so long inside, fabricating a lie I’d hold onto forever if I had to. Ensuring that nobody would ever find out about the questionable dynamic of Joel and my now extremely complicated relationship. 

When I returned outside around ten minutes later, I was thankful nobody batted an eye. Nobody missed me, and Joel was making himself busy at the snack table, popping a pretzel in his mouth and chewing with a knowing, cocky smile on his face.

“There’s my girl.” my dad’s voice cut through the yard and I snapped my attention to him before I could fall apart looking into the eyes of his best friend.

[butmakeitgayblog]

I would like to run over Lexa, resurrect her, kiss her better and run over her again.

She loved (loves) you for fuck sake, she told you that and you broke up with her?!

Listen.

I know she had reasons, and I know Clarke is not entirely innocent here (even though until now she's just a babe but I trust you), but I would be so furious if I was Clarke when Lexa will eventually confess her feelings.

Can you imagine feeling not enough for someone you love? To know to be not enough because even though you are indeed soulmates, the person you are sure to be THE one, broke up with you? And you know why, or maybe you think you do, but she's still rejected you.

I'm so mad.

I know Lexa comes from a place of survival instinct and pain, but I'm so furious.

SHE TOLD HER SHE LOVES HER.

SHE SHOWS YOU THAT.

I'm... I'm so sad for the both of them, but because I was once in Clarke shoes, it's so sad I want to hug her.

In most of the ff Lexa is the one portrait as tough and still fragile, strong and delicate, but to observe Clarke being put aside (I know they still keep seeing each other, and being cute to each other and loving but it's... Not... You know? Enough?).

And to marry someone that you know, you KNOW is not the one for you but you do it anyway because you gave up on your soulmate, you chose the second best option... I really wanna run over Lexa.

I want to hug her really tight and punch her with love until she understands.

And then I want to hug Clarke and push their faces together while I whisper "And now... Kith... AND STAY TOGETHER OR I SWEAR TO GOD I'LL HUNT YOU DOWN."

Sorry.

My doctor would be a little bit disappointed about my heart rate right now.

I read this 3 times cackling 😭 (not the part about you, that im very sorry for and I'm sorry you can relate 😔 if you ever wanna send asks aboit Clarke's perspective you can! It help balance this out a bit because so far everything has been filtered through Lexa's pov)

Listen these are all valid things to feel. Lexa is very stupid in some ways, but those ways are indeed born out of insecurity and problems with accepting her self-worth.

I do want to point tho, just as a possible way to kind of... console the anger we all feel here, Clarke was not at all alone in how much she threw herself into this relationship. Lexa absolutely, 100%, just melted herself into Clarke. This 19 year old kid went from having no stability beyond her own work ethic, and no one who she felt cared about her, to having this sarcastic, mouthy, and genuinely weird little blonde lady who was very pretty and very much in love with her. And she did devote herself and her time and every ounce of her disgustingly robust affections to Clarke whenever they were together. Lexa forgot the world just to be near her, because that was obviously the only place she was meant to be.

But that was the problem.

Just how much she actually devoted herself and her time to Clarke became the problem. I mean it did more than that, there are other thoughts and emotions and insecurities at play that Lexa will word-vomit out eventually, bUT the crux of it all came down to her not having the emotional maturity to know how to balance a love that big, along with everything else.

But she never stopped loving Clarke. Not once. And while, no, she wasn't entirely truthful with Clarke or herself about what kind of love for years, and while it certainly wasn't "enough" (i know, for lack of a better word here), it was still incredibly palpable to anyone around her. It was tangible and demonstrative enough that it kept Clarke right there with her for almost a decade. It was intense enough and blatant enough that Costia gave up even trying to compete in under a year. There is just no questioning it when they're together. Everyone sees it pretty much immediately: Lexa is head over heels in love with that girl.

And that was the thing... Clarke saw it too. She felt it every single day.

She's just kinda stupid too 🥴

So I hear you, I do. Breathe lol. Check the pulse bby it's ok I promise. Just distract yourself with thoughts of them married with lil Griffin babies that Lexa cooks up herself simply because she loves Clarke that much

[yumeka-sxf]

A chronological analysis on Twilight and Yor - Part 2

*This is part of an ongoing post series. If you missed the Introduction/Part 1, click here*

----------

The Forgers' first family outing is when we start to get an idea of how well they complement each other. When he realizes that Anya and Yor aren't exactly Eden tier citizens, Twilight is understandably upset. He even goes so far as to think he may have chosen the wrong child and wife for the job (also the last time he ever thinks this).

As for Yor, we see that she has a noticeable liking for weapons, which makes sense considering her job as an assassin. She stares almost longingly at a painting of a guillotine at the museum, and fondles her knife at the restaurant, much to Twilight's confusion.

But what's interesting is that this is the only time we ever see her exhibit this behavior, and I think it's because she's since found more important things to feel deeply about, like motherly love for Anya and tenderness for Loid (she's always had Yuri, but she's not together interacting with and observing him as often as she will be with Anya and Loid). Whether this was an intentional tidbit of character development from Endo, I can't say, but from a narrative perspective, it definitely fits.

This episode also shows the first of many eventual times where Yor has just the right words of comfort for an exasperated Twilight. Despite the fact that, at this point, she hadn't fully embraced her mother/wife role yet, she takes notice of how worked up he had gotten at the restaurant and suggests that they go outside for some air.

When they see the old lady being robbed, Twilight shows no intention of getting involved – spies aren't supposed to attract attention to themselves with showy heroic acts after all. But once Yor rushes over to help, he decides to follow her lead because, again, he's a decent guy who wants to help people even though he prefers doing it secretively. There was no benefit to Yor for helping the old lady except for the fact that, like Twilight, she's a good person who wants to help others, but isn't inhibited by having to keep up a spy persona like he is. But as for why Yor is so quick to react when others need help, but is at a loss when she herself is a target, like when her coworkers were insufferably rude to her at the party, is a part of her personality that I'll discuss more later down the line.

This is also the first of a few scenes where Anya insists that Loid and Yor are flirting/going to kiss, and they immediately deny it, in an almost uncharacteristically abrupt way.

While it's a very short scene, it's especially strange for the calm and collected Twilight to get worked up about some silly thing Anya says. I don't think Twilight and Yor are romantically in love this early in the series, but the fact that they reacted like this does hint at the possibility that they know the other is not a typical man/woman (in a good way) and they're not sure how they feel about it. Hence the exaggerated reactions when confronted with those ambiguous feelings.

Later that day, as an exhausted Twilight tries once more to go over the interview questions, we get a scene from his POV of Anya and Yor happily sitting on the couch with their teacups. This causes Twilight to think back to the old lady's words about what a nice family they are, to which he tells himself that means they must have made some progress. There are several scenes like this throughout the series that show something from his perspective that is, what I like to call, "softly emphasized." The scene itself doesn't seem like anything major, and Twilight isn't making a big deal about it, yet the scene covers a decently sized panel in the manga and has a sort of "fuzziness" to its shading, conveying a warm, gentle feeling (the anime usually lingers on the scene for a few moments and/or may add fuzzy, warm filtering to the colors and sound).

While other characters do occasionally get scenes like this too, I think the reason Twilight has more of them is because of the kind of character he is, namely, an unreliable narrator. For most characters, even if they lie out loud, we as the audience get insight into their thoughts, and typically that's where we know what they're really feeling. But because Twilight is such a competent liar, and has spent much of his life donning one false identity after another, he insists on deceiving not only others, but himself as well. As a result, even his thoughts are not a reliable source for his true feelings. So to me, Endo includes scenes like this – something that seems mundane, but for Twilight, it's triggering feelings of warmth and comfort, despite whatever his expression, words, or thoughts might tell us – as a subtle yet more sure way of knowing what he's really feeling. In this case, despite his sour expression, he's slowly starting to feel comfortable with Anya and Yor, especially when he recalls that someone saw them as a lovely family.

Continue to Part 3 ->

<- Return to Part 1

[bookofmirth]

Since you think ACOTAR5 may be Azriel's POV at the start of the crossover (and you make a very good case for this), but I'm curious how do you think Gwyn's POV (or Elain's) would work in between his chapters? Both of them were completely absent from the crossover events. We know the next two novels are traditional romances with alternating POVs, similar to ACOSF.

Hello! Since @myfriendscallmeraba had a similar question about pov on my prison post and whether we would "need" Nesta's pov, I thought I would tackle both issues here!

First off, here is my post about how acotar5 might begin, for reference. I know this is what you were responding to, I'm just throwing it out there!

So, I use the term "pov" pretty fast and loose because that's how the fandom refers to it, and because saying "third person close, omniscient narrator who focuses on specific characters" is too much of a mouthful to say every time.

Since acotar is now in third person, there are central characters and the narrator follows some of them more closely, but it is not limited in the way that it was when Feyre was the first-person narrator. In fact, in acosf, we were privy to Gwyn's thoughts:

Roslin, Ananke, and Deirdre were close on their heels, propelling Gwyn to push her group harder. She wanted to be the first. Wanted Nesta and Emerie and her to be the ones who wiped the smirks from Azriel’s and Cassian’s faces. Especially Azriel’s.

This whole section is actually quite removed from most of the characters and is describing the Valkyries' experience of going through the obstacle course. The sentences I have highlighted above are Gwyn's thoughts. They are not being told to us because Nesta is hearing them, and in fact, the whole scene is being told at a remove. It's not being filtered through any one characters' perspective, but is "above" them, so to speak, discussing them all:

More of the priestesses cut the ribbon—Roslin. Deirdre. Ananke. Ilana. Lorelei. Everything Azriel and Cassian threw at them, they took and threw right back.

Since sjm has switched to this narrative style, it's not outside the realm of possibility that the narrator back away from the action a bit, providing us with a specific character's thoughts at one point, and then giving us a broader view of the scene in the next.

In my completely gwynriel and elucien-biased opinion, I think that Gwyn is actually going to be present in the crossover parts, when the narrator follows Az. In that original post, I noted that we have a few gaps in our knowledge right now:

How the IC reacted to Bryce landing and how they decided what to do with her (she went from the river house and with no discussion, UtM?)

How they make use of Merrill's research (which Gwyn is familiar with)

Rhys telling the IC that he had been aware of this possibility

How they react to this new info about their history

And in all of those instances, other characters could/should be present in, besides Az and Nesta.

I definitely think that it's possible for sjm to bypass that whole bit and just give a "previously on acotar: other planets are real" infodump. But even if she were to do that, she could easily incorporate Gwyn and Nesta into the story in the same ways that Emerie, Gwyn, and Azriel were incorporated into Nesta's.

So then the implications for Nesta having such a huge presence in Azriel's book are pretty simple to me; she will be a friend to him in ways that the IC has been unable to. They clearly approach him with kid gloves and are super hesitant to ask him questions they think will trigger his anger. Nesta has proven that she understands Az on a deeper level that perhaps the IC can't. They are too close to him and have been for a long time.

We also saw their closeness in hofas. Az and Nesta's friendship has reached a deeper level than we saw before.

Then there is the fact that the Valkyries and Illyrians are going to keep training together. And my idea for the Prison in the next book.

I think that even though yes, each book focuses on one couple, and yes, there is one main character with a love interest, that doesn't preclude other characters from being important. We wouldn't say that Eris was inconsequential to acosf, or Emerie, or Feyre, or Gwyn. They all had a role to play, and by using third person omniscient, sjm has made it much easier for her to incorporate them without it having to be filtered through the main character's pov.

I hope that this makes sense! I think there's a lot of confusion in the fandom about voice and perspective, but if anything, the way sjm has switched to third person for the series makes it more possible for us to see the bigger picture - including other characters' involvement.

[dreamescapeswriting]

In general, I understand why you wouldn’t want minors reading smut and I agree with putting warnings out there but you just seem OBSESSED with it. Like more than any other blog I’ve ever seen. To the point it’s really off putting.

They’re going to read it regardless. I completely agree with refusing to write certain triggers or things because I’ve definitely seen some disgusting stuff out there, but I just don’t understand why you’re so worried about the age of your readers or requesters. A 13 year old could create a blog and say they’re 30 so unless you require proof of ID you really didn’t prevent anything.

It seems like just more stress on your part. I used to follow you a long time ago but like every two days you’d post about how you were blocking accounts that didn’t provide their age or have anything posted. It’s just got annoying so I unfollowed and recently came across one of your posts again and nothing has changed.

I think you’re super talented and I’ve always wanted to request something from you but it honestly gives me anxiety so I turn to other blogs that don’t make me feel like I’m doing something wrong even though I’m not a minor. I’m not comfortable doing it off of anon and I don’t want my age and info out there either, even if it’s just for you. It feels like getting a background check just to request something.

It’s your blog and you have the complete right to do whatever you want and I don’t have to follow you either. I know all of that. I also know this is going to come off as rude and I really don’t mean it that way. I guess I’m just trying to understand your thought process around it. Maybe it could open my eyes more and I could see it from your perspective and be more understanding about why you push this so much.

Hiya darling,

Thanks for sharing your thoughts and being honest with me, I appreciate you coming to me with this and letting me explain my side on this matter. While I understand that it can be frustrating and off-putting to see reminders about what I have on my account it's needed.

Firstly, my main concern is protecting both myself and my readers when I put those mature posts out on the internet. The internet is a tricky and very weird place, and as a content creator who deals with adult material, I have a responsibility to ensure I'm not inadvertently providing explicit content to minors. This is not only a personal ethical stance but a legal one in many places of the world. 

I understand that minors might still find ways to access adult content, not just mine but many others, despite my and many other people's efforts, and I know that it's virtually impossible to prevent it but by setting clear boundaries and rules on my account, I am doing my part to discourage that as much as humanly possible. It's true people lie about their age, but having an age in their bio or not accepting anonymous requests creates a deterrence.

My old (since I have not posted about it since) about blocking blank accounts were always about filtering out any accounts that could be seen as bots, that be porn bots or just random bots that flood Tumblr, and stopping people who solely make accounts just to steal work from hard-working authors such as myself and many others who put content out into the world for free and end up having it stolen from people. Putting those posts out was about maintaining a safe and responsible space for me and others who lurk on my account. It also helps me interact with people who respect these boundaries and understand them and why they're in place in the first place. 

In regards to the stress it might seem to cause to many others, I find that being upfront and putting these kinds of things in place reduces my stress when it comes to posting. It allows me to focus more on creating content without constantly worrying about the age of my readers. The transparency on my part (and those who abide by the "rules" - I guess) helps create a more comfortable environment for those who follow and interact with this blog. 

I understand that not everyone is comfortable sharing their account when requesting smut, which is why I offer to hide your @ whenever people send me requests. Which this has worked for people in the past and still to this day. I would never judge someone for sending me something, as I've always prided myself on keeping a safe space on my account so if for some reason you don't feel comfortable or it gives you anxiety I deeply apologise.

While not everyone feels okay with adding their age on a bio, it's important to me and many other authors on Tumblr so that I and readers all feel safe sharing content intended for those over age. It's crucial that I feel I'm not contributing to the exposure of explicit content to people underage. 

Finding a balance between the concerns I have are a challenge, I and many other authors struggle with it all the time. I realise it's not the perfect solution for everyone but this is the only way I feel comfortable. 

Some people may read adult content regardless of barriers that are set in place, and I respect that people make their own choices, my policies are a way to set a standard and communicate that I'm taking my responsibility seriously, making an effort to guide my content to the age-appropriate audience, therefore I'm morally and legally covered. 

I'm sorry if this causes you anxiety as that is never my aim in life, but please understand that it also causes me anxiety when I don't know the age of people requesting adult content. Imagine how uncomfortable it would be for a 20+-year-old to find out that her explicit writings were asked for by a minor. This is a situation I - and other authors - want to avoid at all costs, both for ethical and peace of mind reasons. Without these policies in place, I would have to consider stopping writing adult content altogether to ensure I'm not inadvertently harming anyone or breaking any laws. Without these things in place, I would have to consider stopping writing smut altogether to ensure I'm not inadvertently harming anyone. 

Thank you for taking the time to reach out. I hope I got my points across without coming across as bitchy as I don't want that to be the case. 

Kind regards,

~M

[skylarmoon71]

Timeless Wells (Flash) - Speedster Chapter 25

At some point you’d passed out on the couch after running around the city. 

When you woke up you were disoriented. At first you were confused about everything, but after you took a shower and had a meal, the memories began slowly filtering back.

“Oh my gosh..”

There was a part of you that thought it was just a dream, but when you got in that morning, you saw Harrison and he flushed.

That’s when you knew.

He guided you to his office, the entire walk felt so terribly awkward. The minute you’re inside you apologize.

“I’m so sorry!!”

Harrison couldn’t help but laugh.

“It’s alright. I should have been more cautious. I just assumed you would run out the energy build up from that strike.”

That is more rational. You let out a sigh, running a hand through your hair. For a moment, you gaze at him, because you remember everything. The desire in his eyes when you basically attacked him. Even though he had resisted, you still remember it. That heat.

Maybe he realizes that you’re thinking about it. Because there is a reflection of that look. You lower your eyes, stepping back.

“W-Well I should get back to work.”

Darting out of the room, Harrison watches with a smile.

“What am I going to do with you?”

~

When you return to work, Avery and Evan are interrogating you.

“Are you sure you’re okay? Let me see your charts. Those doctors are so laid back.” She’s ranting and you can’t help but smile and feel grateful that you have someone so invested in your safety.

“I’m fine. The company doctor checked me. I’m sure they pay the guy millions. He must be one of the best.”

She looks a little more at ease.

“Okay, that’s good.”

Evan smiles.

“You really had us worried.”

“I’ll be more careful from now on. I’m also sorry Avery. I couldn’t save your device.”

“Oh no worries, I’m completely accident prone so I have about three prototypes.” Evan laughs and so do you. Only she would look so confident while saying that.

“Besides I’d much rather have my friend over some machine. I can always replace that, but you’re irreplaceable.”

Her words are a bit of a surprise, and she blushes once she realizes.

“W-Well I’m sure you already know that!��

She’s laughing, clearly embarrassed and you have to say that it’s been so long since you’ve been so unapologetically happy. You reach over and hug her and those little ramblings of hers stop.

“Thank you.”

You almost feel like crying, Avery is definitely crying.

“I love you guys so much!!” She hugs back happily and Evan joins.

“Now you made her all emotional.” He chuckles. He runs a hand over the back of her head, and he sends you a soft look.

“I’m glad you’re okay.”

He whispers. You smile, excited that you finally seem to have a family again.

~

The rest of the day passes with ease.

For once you’re the one leaving first. Avery is doing some adjustments to her prototype and Evan has stayed back to keep her company while he runs through a few notes of his own. She’s smiling the entire time, bobbing her head to a song. He watches, clearly distracted from his own work. He’s sitting fairly close.

“You’re in a good mood huh.”

She nods, still screwing in some bolts.

“Of course! My best friend is safe, my inventions are really coming along and I have a hot boyfriend.”

Obviously the last one was not supposed to be uttered aloud. She drops the tool, cheeks matching her fiery hair.

“You think I’m hot.” He smirks.

“Y-You’re aesthetically pleasing to the eyes!” She defends.

He has to say that he’s lucky. Had he not met you that day, he probably would have never spoken to Avery. The both of you have become pretty important people in his life and he is fortunate.

It’s nice to have people in his circle. This field was very competitive and he’d even lost a few friends when he was awarded the internship that budding scientists envied. His time at the start felt like a constant competition. It was exhausting, especially since he really loved being a scientist.

Yet, being with you and Avery, it’s never a competition. You all seem to learn from each other. You’re knowledgeable in so many fields yet you tend to stay out of the spotlight. You always help when he seems stuck on a task. Avery is encouraging in every sense of the word. She seems to have an optimistic view on everything and she works hard, even when she gets frustrated.

He’s more than lucky, he’s blessed.

He reaches over, taking her hand and the color seems to get brighter.

“I think between the both of us, you’re the most aesthetically pleasing.” He compliments.

His smile is easy, and when he leans in, Avery follows, sighing happily at the soft kiss.

Life was good, that’s for sure.

[multifandomfix]

Catherine Cawood Fluff Alphabet

A = Aroma (What do they smell like?)

Catherine always smells like her favorite tea and also a bit of sandalwood.

B = Babe (What would they use as pet names? Do they use them a lot?)

She’d use the occasional pet name, but she doesn’t get all lovey dovey about them.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

She can enjoy a good cuddle if she has a mind to. She doesn’t always make it a priority, but a good cuddle can definitely make a dent in turning a bad day around for her.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? What would they think about living together?)

Catherine is pretty much settled as it is. If having you move in felt like the natural next step to take, she wouldn’t hesitate, but she wouldn’t like you pushing about it.

E = Emotion (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

She’s affectionate in her own way. She’s a little rough around the edges and isn’t big on an abundance of physical affection, but she does take the time to leave you heartfelt notes to find throughout your day.

F = Flirt (How do they flirt? Are they smooth or awkward?)

Her flirting game isn’t as strong as perhaps it once was, but she can still charm the pants off of you if she puts in the effort.

G = Gifts (Are they a gift giver? What kind of gifts do they give?)

Catherine’s gifts are more necessities. She knows you need something, she surprises you and brings it home.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

Sometimes, yeah, she does like a good, long hug. And her hugs are amazing. Equal parts soft and strong and they make you feel oh so safe.

I = I Love You (How fast do they say the L-word?)

She’s certainly not going to dive right in to the big declaration of love, but it might come sooner than you think. Once you’ve won her trust, love, at least in some form isn’t far off.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

She can get mighty jealous. It’s easy enough for anyone to notice when she is, and she’s not afraid of inserting herself in the middle of things just to assure her territory is not being treaded upon.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you?)

She loves to kiss the top or side of your head as she’s out the door on her way to work. If she doesn’t do that, you know something is wrong. Her kisses in general are very soft, much softer than you’d imagine.

L = Little ones (How are they around children? Would they want some of their own?)

She’s good with kids, but would never consider herself an expert, even after raising her own two and Ryan. She’s pretty much done with that part of her life and wouldn’t necessarily want more.

M = Meet (How did they meet you?)

At the station, while you were waiting for a family member that was brought in. You were worried about them and Catherine sort of helped calm you down.

N = Nurture (Are they good at taking care of you if you’re hurt/sick?)

She’s not always around to play nursemaid, but she’ll see you’re taken care of and call to check in if she can’t stay with you.

O = Out (What’s a typical date night with them like?)

Maybe some dinner or drinks at the pub. Nothing ever really fancy. She doesn’t see the need for all the fuss.

P = Propose (When do you/they propose? How does the proposal go?)

If it’s coming from her, it’ll be over tea where she’ll just ask, casual as ever, if maybe you wanted to marry her. Bonus points if she can make you spit out your tea. If you propose, you’d practically have to beg her to marry you, even though she doesn’t have to make it so difficult for you. She just wants to know how serious you are about it.

Q = Quirk (What small habit/feature/quirk do they have that you find especially endearing?)

You love those moments when she just has no filter. She says whatever she means and it never fails to bring a smile to your face.

R = Routine (What does a typical day together look like? Routines, schedules, habits?)

Mornings are often chaotic. Your try to have breakfast ready when she wakes up, and you both have to get Ryan ready. Evenings are simpler though. Once Ryan is put to bed, you and Catherine are able to wind down together.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you?)

She’s incredibly protective. She’s not obsessive about it or anything, but she is extra vigilant and won’t shy away from using herself as a shield to protect you.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, etc?)

She never goes overboard with that sort of thing, but there’s always something nice planned, even if it’s as simple as your favorite meal at home in front of the telly.

U = Unique (What’s something they’d only do for you?)

Take a day off. She needs more time off than she ever seems to allow herself and if you asked her real nice (and probably begged a little) she’d take a day off to stay home with you.

V = Vulnerable (How long does it take them to feel comfortable being vulnerable around you?)

It’ll take her a little bit to really open up. That strong persona needs to be diligently chipped away at to get to the heart of her.

W = Wardrobe (What would they wear to impress you?)

Much to Catherine’s delight, she knows you have a thing for her in uniform, so she doesn’t have to try too hard to impress you in that department.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

Catherine loves to tease you. She likes to pretend to pick a fight and see if you can catch her on it. That has occasionally backfired and caused a real fight, but it always gets resolved.

Y = You (What are some things they would like in a partner?)

She’d need someone loyal and brave, not someone who is going to shy away from who she is or try and change her.

Z = Zzz (What are their sleep habits?)

She has some restless nights and nights where she sleeps like the dead with hardly any in between. On the nights she’s really out, she can be a snorer, and you’ve invested in some earplugs for that very reason.

For Anon

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