#(i actually don't draw james all that much because he's so beautiful and i get pissed when i don't get him right)

[dolokhoded]

spamming random art so i hold back from posting the apostle designs before they're done i wanna talk about them so much BIG JAMES IS DELIGHTFUL !!!!!

[rewritingcanon]

( hi is the person who sent you those next gen hcs. Sorry if this bothers you but I decided to make a part 2, hopefully better formated of more hcs or just expanding on the past ones. My interpretation of them!)

About the teddy lupin hc with his teeth- yes! He would most likely mess up his teeth worse then they already were so Andromeda had to get him braces despite his protests and begging. After being straped to the chair and wearing them for like 2 years his tooth gap was still there SO HE DID ALL THAT FOR NOTHING. (biggest L he's ever taken)

Lilly wears lots of colorful and wacky earrings just like aunt luna. They probably trade pairs or something.

James sirius is really into cinema especially horror. He loves being scared and most of the time he just laughs at the jumpscares. I also feel like he has written entire analysis in his head on the things he's fixated on but doesn't have the energy to write them down so he just rants about his favorite stuff to his family.

Victoire was the one making moves on teddy not the other way around. This made bills distaste for teddy even worse cause he wasn't even the one doing anything 🙄

Albus's room is filled with action figures, stuffed animals, posters ect of all the stuff he enjoys. Like people always talk about how much of a loser scorpius is but not so much albus. Trust me though he goes to bed reading fanfiction and was most definitely "the weird kid" at school. Probably grew up watching markiplier and jacksepticeye.

Teddy gives me those vibes where every time something happens teddy just goes "don't worry, I know a guy" and proceeds to fix the problem.

Victoire is really close to her maternal grandpa because everyone on the weasley family had lost stuff to the war including her parents so her grandfather was 1 of the only people in her family that didn't have any tragedy on her birthday so he was one of the few people who celebrated it without any sadness about the day. Then later teddy did as well.

Albus likes to draw and several pages of his sketch book is dedicated to just scorpius.

So when it comes to scorpius's appearance I kinda wrestled with it because on one hand there's no way he's not attractive because his mother is Astoria. Not even draco too just Astoria is enough to make that kid divine looking but if he was super pretty then there's no way he wouldn't be asked out even if it was just for shallow reasons. So in my head he is pretty but looks like a corpse. He has eye bags, beauty marks all over his body he's pale and skinny too so he doesn't look human. Albus of course thinks he looks like a sculpture but others think he looks uncanny.

Teddy loved being in the woods/forest cause he loved running around and getting all that energy out. Probably met a old man named Charles who taught him how to fish and scavenge or something. Nobody knew teddy was being fr when he talked about Charles because Charles was probably some urban legend. He was being real though.

(Anyway hope you don't mind me sending you these! if I wrote a fanfic I would include all this stuff but unfortunately I don't have the dedication or skill to do that)

aw ted babe noooo (little does he know a beautiful person without a tooth gap is like an angel without their wings so in truth he was saved).

i agree with all of these lmfao. i feel like luna makes lily earrings for her birthday every year like a tradition. i also heavily fw assertive victoire— i like to think teddy had always been the flirty, confident one in his other relationships and victoire had been shyer in her other relationships but the roles are just reversed when they actually get together. and james being a horror movie freak is soooo real to me, he laughs at all the western films and only genuinely gets kicks out of asian horror movies. victoire with her maternal grandpa is so cute man, its canon to me now. and i have ALWAYS said this about teddy but he is the definition of “i know a guy.” he could get you any job, get you out of any situation ever, “everybody’s got a cousin who can hook you up with something” type. and charles bro 💀💀 yeah you’re so right nobody believed teddy when he said he mastered muay thai until he whipped out martial moves, or when he learnt tagalog when rooming with this old lady in the phillipines until he started rapping a song in it 😭 the only person who would believe him immediately with no questions asked is andromeda. hes so freaky, now he could tell people he was the first one to set foot on mars and everyone will be obligated to believe him.

“not even draco too just astoria is enough to make that kid divine looking” this is the truest yeah 😭😭 ok ok you’re actually so right about this, scorpius would be attractive but unconventional-looking. i feel like his uncanny years is only in school though, no one saw the vision but albus and it paid off sooooo well in the end.

[panlight]

Let's say that vampirism actually enhances a person's WORST trait (rather than an innate ability or power). What would be each Cullen's enhanced flaw?

I keep trying to answer this and I keep coming back to like, twisting their positive traits into a flaw, so I guess that's where my brain is going with this.

Like, Carlisle. I think if negative things were enhanced we'd end up with someone who is like . . . 'saving' everyone. He knows best, he wants to help, congrats you're a vampire now whether that's something you'd ever have wanted or not. He'd like amass a huge coven much more quickly and before he himself had really beaten the bloodlust/thirst stuff, so either it's just way too many vampires to keep in line and they start killing lots of people, or it really becomes a cult-like sort of thing with his natural ability to draw people to him also being twisted/corrupted. Probably wiped out by the Volturi early on because yikes.

With Edward I guess it would be his judgmental streak? Already in canon he is pretty quick to decide this person is bad based on a few idle thoughts, thoughts this person might actually consider intrusive, or thoughts they would never voice nor act on. He's probably leave on his rebellion much sooner because he would be convinced he'd ridding the world of monsters and Carlisle's like, "he's just like my father." I think whether he can still read minds in this scenario or not wouldn't really make a difference, he'd still appoint himself judge, jury and executioner.

The dark side of ability to love, to me, is possessiveness and jealousy. So an Esme with flaws intensified I see as someone who is very possessive and jealous of those she loves, to a manipulative and unhealthy degree. Lots of guilt-trips and "don't you love me?" and all that. Carlisle probably can't keep a job because she's jealous of the time he spends there; the kids probably don't go to school because she wants them with her, etc.

SM seemed pretty happy to highlight Rosalie's flaws already; her vanity, self-absorption, her rudeness. But I think if her power is beauty than the enhanced flaw has to be related to that too, so either enhanced vanity or maybe she's more like a Heidi type who can lure people in not just with looks but with a little something supernaturally extra. Whether she still abstains from human blood or not, she could still use and manipulate people with that kind of power.

Emmett's competitiveness and impulsiveness could be the enhanced flaws. It would be sort of like James, I'd imagine, constantly compelled to put himself (and his family) in increasing levels of danger. It could also enhance his temper; instead of being kind of playfully competitive, he gets actually violently angry.

I mean Alice, let's be real, already manipulates reality and the people in to her will based on her visions. She does so in an attempt to bring about the 'best' future possible, but it still veers into questionable territory pretty quickly. If her sort of pushiness and desire to know and control everything were enhanced, it would take what is already sort of there in canon and push it all the way into a really dark place where she's pulling the strings and creating a future that solely benefits her and doesn't care one bit about who might be harmed in the process.

Jasper lack of self-control intensified would also be, uh, really bad. I suppose he would have been killed by Maria pretty early on if he was that impossible to rein in, unless he killed her first and then the Volturi would have to step in because there is this out of control killing machine who can't control himself running around. If we stick with his gift being corrupted/turned into a flaw, that charismatic streak that he had could turn into a power to actually make people do things, like mind-control of sorts. I personally don't like mind control powers because the lack of free will really squicks me out, but I can go with something like hypnosis, where like some people are more susceptible than others and you can't really get someone to do something they wouldn't do as themselves. So like he couldn't compel the average person to serve as his Renfield or to murder people on his behalf, but he could find people who were susceptible to the power of suggestion AND who had that darkness already in them and get them to do almost anything.

[spectator-moon]

My thoughts on Martyn Secret life lore stream (Eyes and Ears AU)

first, Martyn why would you hurt me with that imagery? Poor scar ;-;

-I really like the idea of the logo being the pincer on the Watchers. Grian is a force of nature and should be represented as such

-I am of the personal belief that Jimmy did not break free from the canary curse, since he died right before Wither/Warden boss fight and the entire point of Canarys is to warn of danger

-slightly irralevently but I need to draw the Scar

-BOY do I love the idea of Gem being used as the Watchers new tool because of the Zombie outbreak (send Gem all the love for that skill!!!)

-love Gem being taken by Watchers in general, especially adding in her lore that in Empires she thought everybody was just roleplaying, so she came in thinking it was roleplay and got stuck.

-i also like the idea of Jimmy getting struck down because of the Watchers being confused by his "funeral" and once Lizzy dies, then going "wait no he's supposed to be dead hold on-" and striking him down immediately

-i need more ideas for art. Also references. Please more references proportions are awful

-"if given the right tools, how many seeds of chaos can {Gem} sow, and it turns out, she's a bloody good farmer." Good quote. Make art for quote

-negative emotions being ~spicy~

-martyn being the seperate party in the gang of winners

-the watchers pushed Jimmy off a ledge

-players still having that sense of connections and support (i.e. swapping out) despite being in murder games (also I love the idea that when the Listeners swap out players, the players get a choice, so it's all the much more heartbreaking)

-(personal headcanon that Ren was desperately hoping Martyn would recognize him in Tango's body)

-(personal headcanon that all players start new life series incredibly sore from being tensed as they fall, even though they're unconscious)

-(other personal headcanon that fragmented players i.e. life series players are the only ones who can see the fragments on other servers)

-Speakers maybe being part of a group which works as mercenarys (being paid in whatever currency they use to give players the task of helping each other) (speakers being true neutral)

-y'all imagine the cinematic beauty of the climax I want full animaticssss

-Grian couldn't cash in on success because he either isn't fully in, or because the Watchers are being petty

-the two watchers being the actually evil equivalent of Jesse and James from pokemon

-Grian has emotions about previous series absolutely stunning idea

-like the idea that Winners get to keep their emotions (hence Pearl and Tilly, Grian w/ Scar, etc)

-Fragement lore fragment lore fragment lore

-THE PLAYERS ALL HAVE FRAGMENTS AND I NEED TO CHECK THE POST WHERE EVERYONE PUT THEIR IDEAS FOR PLACES

-Martyn is furry (fragment dog collar) (very not serious)

-fragments appear as important moments from lore? (Can Scar just have a big ol' one where he got punched in the face by Grian from third life?) (I know they don't appear because final death but it was a generator of so much angst)

-autocorrect my beloathed. (Grian ≠ Groan)

-sometimes fragments become scars, and everybody gets confused because "this moment wasn't important I have no emotional attachment to this moment why is there a scar?"

-PLAYERS CANNOT REMEMBER THE EMOTION GOBBLING AND ARE JUST GENERALLY CONFUSED WHEN THEY HAVE AN EMOTIONAL REACTION TO SOMETHING SOMEBODY SAYS

-headcanon that the Watchers do a real shoddy job at emotion gobbling and often leave the memory, which can prompt an emotional reaction. Also, Watchers actively ignore certain negative moments in favour of those spawning more negative emotions (like a cobblestone generator but for negative emotions)

-datastream Martyn??? Please explain I have not the time to watch all the vods

-eeeee winner theory!!!!!

-we love Villain scar

-PEOPLE CAN SHATTER IF THEYRE TOO FRAGMENTED OH MY GODS PLEASE FANART AND FICS

-so wait if they get to watch how it ends does that mean they had to sit and watch Scar go insane???? That makes that sadder

-so without any knowledge of Datastream Martyn, can I suggest that mayhaps datastream means that literally Martyn leaps between worlds by moving through the literal data stream? I have seen references to a Doc, so maybe he and Martyn were experimenting and Martyn got stuck? I know something happened to Doc, probably bad given that the reference was 'yes the red stuff was definitely ketchup', so was it because of the knowledge he has gained? Again, never seen any data stream so take all of this with a grain of salt. I just like analysing stories and have read enough to be able to pick out plotlines fairly well.

-oooh lore comic i want to read that

-Secret Keeper is Watchers putting on a trench coat and going "yes yes no watchers here yes yes"

-imagine how invasive it would be to spawn in and just KNOW the rules, with no background for why or how you have that information. Boy that could be a cesspit for angst. Imagine the panic of that inserted information. (Grian has to calm somebody down fic???)

-new lore enjoyer, but I love this already.

-making a proper movie with this concept would be AMAZING

-players were kidnapped lmao

-Scott having that forewarning for Jimmy and Scar is a funny thought

-Listeners are oldest children fighting their middle siblings (Watchers) because Mom and Dad will blame them for the poor player hurt

Making a part two because this is so long already

[soft4gguk]

tessa do you read self help books? if yes what can you recommend? romance too plsss :D

I sure caaaaaan :) recs under the cut!!

as for self help books the ones I recommend the most are the power of now by eckhart tolle and atomic habits by James clear so, soooo good!!!

as for romance. I once was told that I read shitty romance lmaooo. AND PERHAPS IT'S TRUE! but I like romance between the lines. I like subtle, yet gut wrenching romance. I like romance that gets cut short. I like YEARNING! so I don't know if you're gonna like my recs but I'll give them to you anyways :)

Norwegian Wood by Haruki Murakami. Haruki Murakami is my husband. like, he actually is. I love him, I don't care what anybody says. you don't know him like I do. this book though... oh my god. this book is ACHY. ok? if I told you what it was about, I'd give too much away. but I'll leave you with two of my favourite quotes from this book (and of all time, probably)

"you went back to Tokyo just about the time the autumn weather was deepening, so for a time I couldn't tell whether the hole that opened up inside me was from missing you or from the change of the season."

"I hope you you have a very happy year of being twenty. my own year of being twenty looks like it's going to end with me as miserable as ever, but I'd really like it if you could have your share of happiness and mine combined."

my heart is RACING.

Just Kids by Patti Smith might not be a love story you'd expect, but it is the most epic tale of romance ever told. and it's only romance because to me, their love was the true depiction of what love should actually be. what love actually is! and instead of explaining this to you, I'll leave you with Patti Smith's letter to Robert Mapplethorpe.

Dear Robert, 

Often as I lie awake I wonder if you are also lying awake. Are you in pain or feeling alone? You drew me from the darkest period of my young life, sharing with me the sacred mystery of what it is to be an artist. I learned to see through you and never compose a line or draw a curve that does not come from the knowledge I derived in our precious time together. Your work, coming from a fluid source, can be traced to the naked song of your youth. You spoke then of holding hands with God. Remember, through everything, you have always held that hand, grip it hard, Robert, and don’t let go. 

The other afternoon, when you fell asleep on my shoulder, I drifted off, too. But before I did, it occurred to me looking around at all of your things and your work and going through years of work in my mind, that of all your work, you are still your most beautiful. The most beautiful work of all. 

Patti

I bawled my eyes out just reading this.

if you read any of them, let me know :)) ilu <3333 xo

[nancydrewwouldnever]

This is going to sound like a rant because well it's a rant and I'm getting the worst colds in my life this month and I'm under the effect of powerful meds lmao

First things first. Thank you so much for sharing the beautiful ❤️ picture of your sweetest bestest boy Billy, and very sorry for your loss.

Then, been reading your last posts as well as the one from yesterday (?) about mourning the image Chris had sold and i can't agree more but i have my own take. I hadn't been a fan for long, started around 2019, i never cared about cap or marvel, came to like him because he seemed a decent actor and not too problematic (had heard about his philandering, fuckboi ways, knew about minka & jenny, etc etc) and tbh it's not only the disney pr machine, his interviews where he parrots about wanting a wife and kids without actually doing anything conducive to that, or my own delusions (i don't think too highly of myself lol I'm not a raging beauty or anything special so of course I thought a peasant like myself would never have a chance with Captain all american internet bf), but there were people inside the fandom who were also hardcore promoting that image of him, that he was essentially a nice guy who was looking for stability. I believed those tall tales. I found the lily james stuff annoying already but stuck around. Enters instagram. All i see is young girls (I'm on the older side, therefore too old for grandpa evans) going nuts about likes and follows. Didn't really pay too much attention, i wanted to believe he was better than this. Then along comes Alba. A literal nobody -for reference I'm typing this from Europe, yeah no one knows her here- and all the assumptions i had made about him come crumbling down. She's an unknown and untalented 'actress' who dropped out of hs, not tall or particularly beautiful and the only thing she's good at is looking younger than her actual age and also taking off her clothes. It sounds ridiculous and parasocial yup but there were a couple nights i couldn't sleep because one of my faves had become a total joke in my eyes. I'm staying not even for the dragging but for people like you, maddy, ginger, mar and the female friendships i made on here and insta. I'm repulsed by him. I think he's the typical creep who once they turn 40 they start chasing the young ones to relive their glory days. He'll never find the love he claims to want, cuz prob he doesn't really want it. It's obvious he hasn't grown a bit not even after Slate. He hasn't learned a single thing, about himself, women, life... He'll remain stunted. And i agree with what you're saying about his self-esteem, but he's said arrogance is his biggest flaw so I do think now his 'pissiness' w the fandom and why he doesn't anything only trollba dumps is because he's somehow mad his fans didn't fall for his shit this time, girls found her nasty roles and photoshoots and let's be honest i doubt his hollywood colleagues are impressed with his sugar baby. I don't think he'll ever change or get therapy, which is sad. And i also have the feeling he only went public with this chick because his fans once again caught him with the hand in the cookie jar. So he's still trying to sell that he's a great serious committed bf. Who flies you back in economy, draws stuff on your chin and records you while he makes you look stupid. Sorry for the length of this, i needed to vent

Personally, I don't think it's a hand in the cookie jar situation (because that cookie jar was breadcrumbed from for months before the first NYE trip took place), but don't know exactly how to explain the whole mess.

[pbandjesse]

It was beautiful today. I was cold but I'm really glad I was outside today. Good for the soul.

Last night I had to wake James up because there was a giant cockroach type bug in the bathtub and it was so big it would t go down the drain. But I was able to fall asleep pretty fast after that.

James left for work a little before I had to be up. And once I got up I was just super tired but it wouldn't last. I actually would feel really good once I was washed and dressed.

It was chilly out but I was fine for the most part. I had a nice drive out to camp. I stopped for breakfast. And got to camp by 915.

I went up to the art building. Changed my shoes. Fell over changing my shoes. Had the hatch back close and just barely miss my head. I was killing it.

I was a little early though and so I went to say good morning to Alexi. Got my walkie. And then Elizabeth was there and she gave me her keys to go unlock the eyrie to get materials.

It would be a really nice day though. The group would be coming at 10. We had a lot of chaperones. And they would be excellent. But it is a little intimidating having all those parents waiting on the lodge.

I got my stuff set up pretty fast. And went to chat with Elizabeth about upcoming programs and ideas. Told her about glassblowing last week. And soon Sarah (not musuem Sarah, camp Sarah) was there too. She had a really bad morning. With alarms not going off and then getting pulled over on the drive in. Thankfully left off with a warning. But man that sounds super stressful.

I had four groups today. And it was a nice time. I like doing the bee program. And honestly I'm finding it easier to fill the time in because it's 40 minutes and not the full hour but also I think their attention span is being held better.

I had some nice conversations with the kids. They got most of the terms I wanted them to know. I also set up paper to do a community garden drawing again. And while these were 1st graders they still did a good job and were really fun.

Something I have noticed lately though. Sometimes you will have a little kid that speaks almost exclusively in memes and internet lingo. And nothing makes me cringe about kids more then this. Like I find it so obnoxious. But also I really worry for them. Kids shouldn't know that much Internet culture! Like shouldn't have all these memes on deck and feel comfortable just talking in them. Using them correctly! They shouldnt be in spaces online where they would see them. It doesn't matter that they aren't inappropriate, it is inappropriate that they don't understand them so they shouldn't be exposed to it. But also it's going to ostracized them from their peers. Whoever it letting them be this chronically online at 7 years old is setting them up for failure. It sucks. Cause it's never a whole class it's always one kid who is very loudly repeating memes and phrases from TikTok and YouTube. And I hate it so much.

The child who was doing it was sweet and clearly on the spectrum. So like as a stim response I get it. Repeating phrases that make your brain feel good. But it is a lot for me. And him knowing so much about internet slang makes me think he's a lot at home and is just being left to be babysat by the internet. And I told him internet slang is banned in the art building which made him laugh but at least he stopped.

During lunch I went and sat in the thunderbird basement bedrooms. Because I was cold and it was cozy down there. I watched some videos and ate my pasta. And soon it was time for the afternoon block.

The day was honestly easy though and I was feeling good. Once we were done I sent everyone off. Got a few hugs. And went to put all the material away. Chatted with Elizabeth and Sarah. And then I headed home.

I had some energy. And so I was determined to get home and make my poster for this weekend. That I have been avoiding for no reason. I would get back here and park and throw all my car trash away.

I did my poster. And it took some effort but I did it and I'm proud of that. And then spent some time cleaning. The cleaned the tanks. I stopped replacing the filters a few months ago and now the mossy plants are growing through the filters themselves which I think it really neat. My water has never been healthier honestly. With frequent partial changes to get the gravel debris out. I am pretty positive the snails ate my fish though because I cannot find a body anywhere. I am really sorry fishy. I wanted you to have a good life but I think you might have been old when I got you. I hope you still enjoyed your time with me.

I vacuumed and put some stuff away. Had a snack. And did some embroidery.

And soon James was home. James would make cornbread. And I made a chili soup which should have simmered longer but was still good. .

While that was cooking I chilled and watched videos. Had a nice interaction with the person who runs the Franklin Fountain's (the ice cream shop James used to work at) TikTok because they were so excited to find out James was my husband. And James was in the other room recording their podcast.

Eventually I would lay in bed. Hang out with Sweetp. Talk to Jess and to Laura. And eventually went to take a bubble bath.

And now we are in bed. It was a good day. I am tired but feeling happy. I hope you all have a good night tonight. Take care of each other. Be safe. I'm at the nursery tomorrow. Fingers crossed it's an easy day and we have fun. Sleep good!

[rookie-critic]

Avatar: The Way of Water (2022, dir. James Cameron) - review by Rookie-Critic

Avatar: The Way of Water is only marginally better than the original. It clocks in at 3 hours and 12 minutes, and unfortunately it does feel its length a little bit. There are sequences that could have been cut shorter, shots linger a little too long (which is kind of understandable. Most of the draw of this film, much like the first one, is the visuals), and the tone of the film tends to feel slightly inconsistent from scene to scene. It's not the most egregious problem a movie could have, but when it makes the runtime that long, maybe it's time to kill your darlings a little bit. None of this affected my enjoyment of the film too much, though, and I have two other bigger problems that I found were more detrimental to my overall experience. The first, and biggest, of the two is that they brought back Stephen Lang's Colonel Quaritch (I'm not considering this a spoiler because his name is all over promotional material and he shows up about 10-15 minutes into the film). I found him to be one of the most uninteresting parts of the first Avatar, and was very interested to see what direction Way of Water would go as far as a central villain is concerned. In the film's defense, his character does manage to be more interesting in this one, but I think they could have applied those beats to a completely new character and it would have been better and felt a little less like the sequel trying to capitalize on nostalgia for the first one (a quality that, might I add, I don't feel like Way of Water has outside of this). My second big issue, which I found less bad and more just distracting, is that the character of Kiri, the Sullys' adopted daughter who is 14-years-old in the film, is being voiced by Sigourney Weaver, who is most definitely not 14. For the most part Weaver gives a great performance, I'm not questioning her acting ability at all, she's Sigourney Weaver, but try as she might she is unable to sound like a child and it is incredibly distracting. There are story-driven reasons for why Weaver is voicing this character, but I still think the filmmakers would have been better suited just casting a younger actress to play Kiri.

I've spent a fair amount of text on the stuff I didn't like about this film, but in all actuality I did really enjoy it. The younger Sullys are just as important as their parents, if not more so, and it's a very welcome change from the first one. The longer runtime does allow you to get to know all 5 children fully, and they each get their moment to shine on screen. Kiri and Lo'ak, the family's second son, specifically feel like the film's main protagonists, and while superfans of the first may be disappointed with this change in focus from Jake and Neytiri to their children, I was fully onboard. Also, to get to the obvious positive, the movie is stunningly beautiful. The main reason the first film did so well was its advancement in digital effects and for changing the way people thought about CG in movies and what it could do, and I think The Way of Water, well, blows the original out of the water. The islands and more aquatic setting of this film make Pandora feel more like a fully realized planet (or moon, rather); a thriving environment containing multiple ecosystems and different forms of life, even different types of Na'vi people. The spectacle of it alone is worth the price of admission, even if the plot is a little on the ho-hum side. Not to say that the plot is without merit, I found it much more interesting than the "space Pocahontas from the point of view of John Smith" thing the first film had. The addition of the new characters and the time the film devotes to developing them is admirable. James Cameron is, undoubtedly, a great filmmaker, and he knows how to construct an entertaining film. Avatar: The Way of Water is just that, very entertaining. I do wonder if the quality of these movies is worth the amount of money it costs to make them, though.

Score: 8/10

Only in theaters.

I saw it in IMAX 3D. I'd say the IMAX was well worth it, but the 3D was not.

[luveline]

idk if you've done anything like this but maybe a rockstar!james where he introduces his relationship to the world/his fans ?

this was SO FUN tysm for your request! ♥ fem!reader | 1.1k words

James had asked specifically before he did what he did if it was okay. You love him and think it's sweet that he wants to, so you tell him to make sure he uses a good picture. 

Some huge magazine had asked him to do a video for their website. You know vaguely when it gets uploaded because suddenly friends and even acquaintances are texting you repetitively. It's not long after that when The Marauders superfans start requesting to follow your twitter account. You'd set it to private beforehand, though there was nothing of interest there anyways, only retweets and Spotify links. You're glad you did when the notifications start and don't stop. 

You turn off your phone and open up your laptop, navigating to the magazine's website, where the front page boasts your pretty boyfriend's face right at the top. You click the video link and wait for it to load, heartbeat as quick as a mouse's.

The introduction is quick. James sits behind a white table wearing a black, nondescript short-sleeved t-shirt. His fancy watch catches the light as he leans forward. "Hey, I'm James Potter from the rock band The Marauders, and today I'll be showing you guys what's in my bag." 

He picks up a much cleaner version of his rucksack, new for the shoot. His actual rucksack sits at the bottom of your bed. You move your socked feet out of the way so you can compare it to the fraud on screen. It'll be fun to poke fun at him tonight over his lies. 

There's not a lot of guidance to the video. He takes things out one at a time and gives some story behind them. There's a battered pair of drumsticks and a cleaner pair swiftly follows. James goes through them quickly, so a spare is always a good idea. The drumsticks are followed by a piece of drum gum in a plastic case, and a wrist brace for his dicky left arm. 

He pulls out his chapstick with a subtle smirk. 

"And my book," he says, pulling out a messed up paperback. You roll your eyes when you see it because it's not his book at all, it's yours, and he's wrecked it completely. 

A bookmark sticks out about halfway through. "I got this recommended to me by a very pretty girl. Beautiful women seem to always have the best taste in books. I don't have to tell you guys," he says with a wink. He puts the book with everything else he's unveiled so far. "And it's a damn good book." 

You flush warm with pleasure.  

He pulls out some amazingly expensive headphones, an adapter for his electric drum kit, a different pair of noise cancelling headphones, his custom earplugs, his phone charger – again, new for the shoot – and a familiar notebook. 

"This is for everything." He pulls it open to a random page and broadcasts what's clearly not his own handwriting. "I hate transcribing. Remus has done it for me here," he confides. "You have to love him." 

You can imagine the twitter uproar as fans sing the band's bassist's praises. You do have to love Remus, he's an angel, and you'll have to have a word with James about taking advantage of his friend's kindness. 

He turns it to another page. There's a sketch there of a tree you don't really recognise. James draws a lot, more than you could ever keep track of. He's even painted you a landscape or two in heavy gauche before, gifts with awfully sweet dedications on the back. 

He's very good. "For sketching and things. This was a sycamore outside of the Point House arena. It had those helicopter seeds falling from it. You remember when you'd pick those up as a kid and throw them back up into the air?"

The camera person says something and James nods passionately. "Right, we'd have races too! Simpler times." 

It cuts to James pulling out his wallet and his phone. They ask to see his phone wallpaper and he obliges. It's a photo of him and Sirius as kids. They could only be thirteen or fourteen in the photograph, but already Sirius holds his wicked charm like a knife, a sharp smile and a sharper gaze, though his arm around James shoulder is languidly placed. 

"Yep, he's always been like that." 

And finally, his wallet. It's nothing fancy. You can't afford anything as quality as he could himself but he hasn't tried to replace it since you bought it. He peels it open and makes a joke about nobody stealing his identity. 

He smiles wide. "Here's the most important thing in my bag. No, not my card." 

He pulls a piece of white paper from the fold between deft fingers and then turns it to reveal you, a photo of you.

You'll admit you look pretty. There's nothing fanciful to it, just you giving him a soft smile with your hair done up, your head tilting ever so slightly toward your lifted shoulder. 

"This is my girl." He pulls your photo toward him and looks down over the top, no bravado, no charming comment. He smiles at you. "Doesn't she look nice here?" 

The camera person says something again. James looks up, waiting for them to finish before he grins. 

"Yeah, this is my girlfriend. Y/N." 

There's subtitles for the camera person's next question. "This is the first time you've talked about having a partner publicly. Why now?" 

The truth is just the unfortunate consequence of fame. Smear campaigns, hatemail, paparazzi, invasions of privacy. But you can't hide forever. And it feels nice – feels incredible, like your cheeks might bruise from the ache of your smile – to be shown off. 

"'Cos I wanna take her on vacation for our six months, and I want the first photo people see of her to be this one, rather than her drooling on my arm in the airport." 

You laugh. 

"Six months, you've been together?" the camera person asks. 

"And counting. Best six months of my life." 

The interview moves on. There's a few layover shots of the bag's contents. You can't help but feel embarrassed at your face on a clear display next to his wallet, though a binging notification catches your attention before you can pick it apart. 

You click on the notification, an email. It opens, James' voice in the background talking about the new album. 

It's unsurprisingly from loverboy himself. 

Answer your phone!!!!! sent from my iPhone.

You email him back. I've had to turn it off. 

Oh fuck. Are you okay?

You pull the email tab to the side and watch James smile and say goodbye to everyone watching. 

Yeah, I'm perfect. Facetime me?

On you like a rash. 

[visd3stele]

modern Jily texting au blurb

summary: Lily is a newly published author and her story hits big. James is a talented artist. Texts and flirting never miss.

TW: none (well, not proof read, cringey? the first time writing something like this and it feels weird but I had to take this out of my system lmao)

stay safe on the internet, tho. don't meet up with shady people. make sure you're location is known by a close person. if something/someone makes you uncomfortable, you are allowed to back off and leave it at that.

A/N: I searched the username I used and found no one with that name, but if it's a glitch and there is an actual blog that I couldn't find, it's not based on them.

fanart credit to: I have no idea, found it on pinterest. Please let me know if you do.

masterlist and requests

Lily Evans smiled fondly at the shelves in the library. Standing proudly, her book looked back at her. The beautiful cover she never dared imagine until now. The touchable papers, more than an image in her mind. People passing her by, taking a copy in their hands and tucking it under their arm to purchase it.

It warmed her heart. Everything about her journey as an author. The reviews she read, the discussion she heard of her story. The fans simply enjoying themselves, escaping into her universe. And all the amazing art she was send. Talented people all over the world painted or sketched her characters and were kind enough to share it with her as well.

Lily jumped shortly when her phone beeped inside her pocket. Thinking of the devil, she mused to herself amused. Lily was tagged in another post. A beautiful art of her main characters dressed in halloween costumes. It made her laugh so much she couldn't resist reblogging it.

I absolutely love this! <3

Not a minute later, she received a message. Thanks so much, beautiful, it read. Of course, it was easy to be inspired by such a compling story ;)

Why, thank you! You're quite talented yourself.

After she typed the reply, Lily checked the id. The name prongsart next to a picture of a stag made her snort, but she had to admit, the guy knew his way with a pencil and a brush. There were some unfinished digital art pieces too. And a lot of them were based on her book. Lily doubled tapped each she could find. To be fair, the guy deserved it.

Validation, my love language. Came the message from prongsart soon after.

Really? You shouldn't doubt yourself. I love seeing my characters brought to life.

Great. Cool. I have an idea or two on how you could repay me if you're up for it.

Lily rolled her eyes at the phone screen. Scoffing at the bold implication of this boy, she typed quickly: Your work was voluntarily done. Payment isn't requiered.

True. But it's always welcomed.

Lily shook her head and sighed. Enough texting strangers for a day.

°•▪︎~▪︎•°

Sorry for being an arse the other day.

Lily's phone opened with the notification. The deer boy, as she nicknamed him in her head, texted her again. Attatched to it was a comic apology gif.

Before she could reply, another text showed on her screen: Do I get another chance?

Lily bit her lip, debating with her eyebrows furrowed and mind still a bit foggy with sleep. As a sunday afternoon, she allowed herself a lazy day in bed, drifting in and out of dreams.

Another chance to what, exactly? Because when in doubt, stole the time with more questions.

Talk to you and not come off as a creep

Are you sure it is within your abilities?

Tell you what: if I misbehave again, you can block me and I'd report the account myself.

I'd've blocked you anyway, don't need your permission. And how would I know you'll keep that promise?

Follow your gut? Lily chuckled lightly at his words. She has been told not to speak with strangers online, but this deer boy wasn't so bad. He made her laugh and his talent was drawing her in to him.

You want me to trust you? I don't even know your name.

James. James Fleamount Potter. And to make it even, I'm from London as well. College student.

Lily Evans dropped her body weight on her elbows, leaning on the soft matresses of her bed. She had all those information about herself made public when she became a bestseller author and the redhead writer couldn't help find James' oversharing rather cute.

Let me guess. Art?

Bet on it.

°•▪︎~▪︎•°

Lily and James were talking for over a month now. They found out each other's favorite movies, foods, their wildest dreams and biggest fears. She even admited to never truly come to terms of her and her sister's alienation from one another. And he shared the deep betrayal of a friend that led to a terrible accident to fall upon him.

I'm sorry for that. Are you better now?

Its fine Lily-pad. I'm sorry about your sister.

Lily-pad?

Well, if you call me Prongs...

I don't?

You should. Everybody does.

Weird. What's up with that, anyway?

There was a lack of response, the screen showing him typing for about five minutes. Whe James finally did sent his message, it was only a "long story" and a tired emoji.

Come on! Now I'm even more curios...

It really isn't something to drop over a writen convo.

That bad?

Not bad. Odd, maybe.

Lily has been waiting for a reason to see him for quite some time now. So, before she could change her mind lut of nerves, she sent him a quick question and went offline.

The next morning Lily woke up to a new text from James.

Can't have enough of me, Lily-pad?

The story better be worth it, deer boy.

Prongs*

Not until I know why.

Fine. Meet me in the campus, at the coffee stand. Sounds good?

Perfect.

°•▪︎~▪︎•°

James Potter's story proved to be wild and entertaining. And after that first date, many others followed. A clear path to a life long love. Who would have thought it began with one good book and a pretty drawing?

[mx-barnes]

Soulmate AU Pt.7

Summary: When you turn 18 you get the name of a song on your wrist. That is the song you and your soulmate share. It is also how you can communicate with them.

Word Count: 1.2k

Warnings: swearing, implied smut (I suck at writing smut so this is for the best), talk of abduction, a little bit of Bucky's trauma, pet names, Sad!Bucky, think that's it.

A/n:Sorry that this chapter is so short I am camping this week and wanted you guys to have a new part out. So I finished this before camping, I'll be logging off for the week I have a few things queued but not much. Sorry I will be back next week with my regularly scheduled post. Not edited, Charaters not my own (Marvel don't sue me) Gif not my own.

Chapter 6 Masterlist

The next morning you woke up to find James still in bed with you. You figured he’d already be up but apparently he wasn’t a morning person either. Last night was amazing you had shown him where you grew up. He seemed so entranced by everything. Maybe it was the fact that you were talking a mile a minute or he was just happy to be there with you.

Honestly, he seemed like a great guy. He hadn’t pushed you into anything last night which you know from your own shitty experiences can happen. Most of the men and women you dated tended to have an expectancy. That if you were laying down in their bed or even laying down in your bed that something was going to happen. But James didn’t seem to be like that. You were grateful.

Yes, you were soulmates. Yes, you were “made for each other” but you wanted to take it slow until you couldn’t handle slow anymore. You wanted to build a relationship first not just jump straight in. He may be your soulmate but you’ve heard of instances where soulmates moved too fast and ended up hating each other. You didn’t want that. You want a best friend, someone you could depend on.

You felt the figure stir beside you pulling you out of your thoughts. “Mornin’ doll. You sleep well?” His morning voice was beautiful. It was just the right amount of gravely to the deep tone. This man had you just swooning at his voice.

“Ya I slept great what about you handsome?” You said placing a hand on his shoulder as you snuggled closer to him.

“It was one of the best sleeps I’ve had in a while. So,” he paused looking down and chewing on his bottom lip. “My arm.”

“What do you mean your arm?” you pulled back to look at him.

“It’s- well it's metal,” he stuttered. Scared that you would reject him. Push him away maybe if you hadn’t already connected the dots. See that he was a terrible person.

“So. Listen, James,” the way you said his name made butterflies rupture in his stomach. “I can’t change it. I know about your past but everyone is so much more than their past. If we lived in the past we wouldn’t go anywhere. So as long as you don’t judge me on my past I won’t judge you on yours. We all have a story but each day we have a blank page. That story may be filled with unknown horrors but the fact that you are here and can share those horrors if you so choose is proof enough that you are a strong and capable man.”

"But if you know my past you know I killed hundreds. You deserve better than that. You deserve someone better. Someone who is broken. Some who can gi-"

"Stop. If the universe put us together it must have a reason. It must have a reason and this is not me rationalizing this. I want to be with you. You were brainwashed those terrible acts the other guy did was not your fault. You are enough for me. You are more than enough for me. Last night you followed me around my childhood home where I talked a mile a minute and you were probably bored out of your mind but you sat and listened. I talk too much, I ramble but you sat and listened to me. Listen James I know your past from the media, but I want to know your past. I want to get to know the real you. Not the one the media portrays, not the one you probably put on when you go to your therapist, the real you,” you rambled on.

His arms jut out to grab your face. Grabbing it he pulls you close you instinctively close your eyes then he hesitates you can feel his hot breath fanning over your face as he asks “Can I kiss you?”

You open your eyes. Stare into his beautiful blues for a second almost getting lost in them but manage to answer him. “I’d be disappointed if you didn’t.”

After hearing your response his face lightens you ca. See the glint in his eyes as he once again pulls you close and kisses you. Your eyes flutter shut. The kiss is soft. His lips are dry and cracked a bit but you don’t mind. It's sweet and way too short for your liking. When he pulls away you allow him and yourself to have a breath before you pull him once again.

He chuckles into the kiss. He pulls away once again and you whine. “We gotta get up doll. ‘M gonna make you the very best breakfast,” he gets up and starts to pull a shirt on. You didn’t even realize he was shirtless.

Pouting you quip “The best breakfast you could give me is if you stay in bed.”

That seems to pique his interest as he dives right back into the covers and begins kissing you once again. Let’s just say you and him had a full meal.

<~>

You must have fallen asleep again because by the time you looked over at the alarm clock it was 2 hours later.

Scrambling to get your things for work you manage to wake up James. He looks at you with such love in his eyes. “Mornin’ doll.”

It wasn’t fair how good he looked or sounded. He looked as he had been plucked from the gardens of heaven. His voice was melodic. It was drawing you back in. "Morning sorry I have to get to work I've missed the past couple of days and it's not like my boss is unreasonable but she does need her assistant. I am really sorry to just run out on you but I will be back I promise. I'll leave my number on the counter," quickly crossing the room to give him a quick cheek kiss. You ran out of the room a little disheveled but looking fairly decent. You scribbled down your number on an empty piece of paper. By the time you actually left you looked down to your watch and it was 8:30 AM.

<~>

By the time you actually got to Stark Industries, it was 9:45 AM your shift started at 9:00 sharp. Immediately you went to Peppers office. You knocked on the door hoping that she wasn't in a meeting. "Come in."

"Pepper I'm so sorry for not being here for the past couple of days. I was abducted and then I was with my soulmate and I overslept. I'm so sorry," you ramble on.

"It's ok. Wait you were abducted? By who?" Pepper almost scolds. Her face softens as she takes in the last bit of your sentence. "So you spent the night at your soulmate's house. That must've been fun. What's their name?" She questions.

"Well, his name is James Barnes. Don go off on how he's the Winter Soldier. I know he is and it's fine that wasn't him. I know I just met him but I think I'm already falling in love. He's not like any other person I've been with. Not Killian, not Amanda, not Jade, and definitely not Dawson. He's just different but a good different you know?"

"I know I can see that he makes you happy. That smile hasn't left your face since you came in here."

You hadn't even realized you were smiling. This was something that you had experience before sure your other partners made you happy but this has been a long time coming, to find that ethereal happiness.

Chapter 8

Taglist:

@oceanmermaidwitch @navs-bhat

[fancybehaviour]

Daddy Woes

Summary:

Harry is a good husband; so he sends his wife out on a much needed girls day. James Sirius is a naughty boy; so he sends his father down an anxiety spiral.

Notes:

Written for @harryandginuary BINGO!

Prompt I 23: “Why are there zucchini all over our kitchen?” “Do you not like zucchini?”

The sun had sunk low on the horizon, and in a few minutes would dissapear for the night. About dinner time, thought Ginny, as she made her way home after a long enjoyable day, her heels clicking rhythmically against the cobble. As she walked, she rewinded the highlights of her girls day out with Hermione and Luna in her head. Ginny had had an absolute hoot meeting her friends.She was sure she would continue to reminisce until the next time she could have such a day; after all being the mother of a seven month old meant that such trips were a rarity and she cherished them a lot.

Her legs ached from all the walking around she did while she helped Luna shop for her trip and she was looking forward to taking the nice long bath her husband had promised to draw her. She let out a sigh as she thought of sinking her aching legs in a hot bath, her husband perched at the edge of her bathtub as she gave him an exaggerated recount of the day's events peppered with silly nonsensical jokes, him guffawing at them all even though he had already heard them all. He did that a lot these days, laughing. Especially since the birth of their beautiful boy.

She felt a swell of love rise in her as she thought of her family; her seven month old baby son who could scream the house down and her loving husband who tried his best to give her respite from the said infant. 

"Harry?" she called, pushing the front door to close and locking it. "James darling? I'm back home. Did you boys have fun?". She continued heading towards the kitchen where she could hear noises, taking care not to trip over the many toys that were strewn about their living room. Courtesy of their many relatives and friends, James seemed to have an amount of toys that seemed absolutely ridiculous to Ginny who couldn't remember seeing so many toys even at the Burrow, that had been the residence of seven children. Making the matter even more ridiculous was the fact that James's favourite toys were actually the copper pots and pans that he liked to bang about making noise.

It was only when she reached the kitchen and took in the desecration that it was  that she realised that perhaps today, she might be the only one in the Potter household who might have had any semblance of fun.

Eyes darting from her slightly whimpering son in his high chair, to the trail of food spills surrounding him to the multicoloured stains adorning her husband's apron and his miserable face, she decided to address a whole other issue: “Why are there zucchini all over our kitchen?” 

“Do you not like zucchini?”, asked Harry, in a tone that might have been wry if it weren't for the long suffering expression on his face.

"Absolutely not. Can't believe you thought I did, the honor of questionable taste will forever be Hermione's ."

He gave a laugh that seemed more for her benefit (making Ginny wonder if parenthood had done a number on her humour too) and set about cleaning up. Ginny walked into the kitchen and lifted the whimpering toddler into her arms. She pressed a loud smacking kiss on both of his chubby, chubby cheeks, and rocked him gently, seemingly this was all that was needed for his whimpers seemed to slowly subside. She could feel Harry's eyes on them as he continued to clean up the mess; she remained silent, waiting for him to tell her what was weighing on his mind.

Instead he said, "He missed you," so she turns around to see him, looking at them softly with a look on his face that Ginny could only describe as melancholy. It reminded Ginny of her fifth year, when he looked at her like that, like she was everything he wanted but was unattainable.

It seems she was going to have to demand answers after all. Very well.

"Alright Potter, spill. Whatever happened today that has got you relapsing into your teenage angst?"

He laughed, and this time it was a genuine one; BINGO!

Pulling a chair at their kitchen table and settling himself down he said " James kept crying after you left. A lot." 

"Uh-huh. Nothing he hasn't done before. "

"Yeah. Sure. But today I just realised.."

"Yeah?" She asked, settling down into the chair opposite him, shifting James into her lap who seemed very fascinated with playing with her hair.

Harry watched him for a moment and then continued, "I know James crying is nothing new. Yet for some reason, it just bothered me today, you know."

"Uh-huh."

"It made me feel like a bad parent." he confesses, looking a bit surprised himself, perhaps at that he had spoken it out loud, yet continued with "I have been feeling like it a lot these days."

There.The dam had finally broken. Ginny had long since suspected that Harry was having troubles with parenting. She had caught him brooding about with a tea mug in his hands instead of going back to bed after whatever ungodly hour James Sirius had decided to wake them up. 

She tried many times,to get him to talk, but between her own exhaustion, an infant with a strong pair of lungs and Harry's stubborn refusal to burden Ginny with anymore than she was already dealing with nothing had come out of it. But now that he seemed to want to talk, Ginny did not stop him.

"I just… "he paused, and swallowed, something he did when he was overcome with emotion but wanted to bite it down.

"I want to do this right. I have never wanted so badly to do something right in my whole life. Family..it means everything to me and I want to be a good father but I'm afraid I am failing."

"You are an amazing father, Harry."

He shook his head. 

"Am I?"

"Yes" Ginny agreed furiously.

Harry looked into her eyes at that and she hoped he could read her, that he could see himself from her eyes, how she fell in love with him more and more everyday as she saw more and more of dad Harry.

Looking away he continued, "I sure don't feel like it. Today, while you were away, all Jamie wanted was his Mum. I tried everything, feeding him your milk, his favourite toys - yes the pans and pots, we are lucky we have no neighbours- feeding him all sorts of baby food and yet nothing seemed to work for long before he started wailing again. "

Ginny replied, "I don't want to sound like I'm being condescending, but this is the only way I can seem to put it- he's a toddler Harry. No one knows why toddlers do what they do. If he was fussy with you today and missed me I doubt it's because he has decided you were a bad parent."

"I know that - rationally.But the part of me - the same part of me that gets jealous of blokes trying to chat you up or worries that Ron is going to make a new best friend  - that part of me makes me think I have been a bad father."

"Today when Jamie kept crying for you, and I wasn't able to calm him down or feed him any of the amalgamation of baby foods I made- it just felt like I was in over my head, without a clue about what was doing. I might as well have been one of those dads who say they are 'babysitting' their kids and leave them up to their mothers and that's not- I never want to be that."

"I don't just want to do this right, I want be good at this. Like I am at Quidditch or catching dark wizards. I know I can catch a snitch, I know how to find a criminal on the run from law. Just like that, I want to be good at taking care of my son...but today, everything I did kept failing and that made me think.."

"James dented your confidence, didn't he," she said softly.

"He did," Harry agrees looking over at the boy who was happily sucking on his toes, completely ignorant of the spiral he had sent his father through.

Lacing her fingers with his, she said,"My mum told me, with parenting, there's bad days and good days, but you've got to understand that having bad days is not equivalent to being a bad parent."

"I imagine she had a lot of those, with seven of you," replied Harry wryly.

"Two of them Fred and George", Ginny reminded him.

They sat for a moment in silence both lost in thought.

"Gin-"

 "Harry" ,they both started at the same time, and Harry motioned for her to go on.

"I was just thinking - I had help with this. My mum, Fleur, Angelina, my teammates - I had people to talk this with. To reassure me that I wasn't doing things wrong. But you don't have that."

"No. But I've got you."

"You do," she agrees. "But also, maybe you should talk to people too. Maybe my dad or Bill or George"

He snorts at that. "If anyone had told me ten years ago that I'd be talking parenting with George.." he trails off as Ginny gives a light chuckle.

"Seriously though," she says again,       "Give it a try. I'm always here though. To listen. Or if you wanna get competitive over who is the worse parent".

Grinning, he says "I fed him courgettes Gin. He hated it. I'm winning this game." and she smiles at him, simply happy to see him happy.

"Oh and what is it?", she asks, and at his quizzical raise of eyebrows she elaborates, "that you wanted to say? You wanted to say something but you let me go first."

At that he gives her a wide smile and says, 

"Just that I love you."

[saidrolav]

Calcu-lust.

Highschool!Sam Wilson x gn!reader

Summary: You think you're done with relationships since your last ex but you fall harder than ever for a guy in your math class.

Warnings: none! pure fluff! 🧡

a/n: Hiii! Just felt like writing some Highschool AU for no reason, this has been inspired by the song stupid with love from the musical Mean Girls, hope you'll like it!

not my gif!

You were near your locker when Wanda talked to you for the first time of your day. Wanda was the first one that had introduced herself to you, she was the first friend you had made at your school and you were happy she did, she was the most wonderful bestfriend anyone could ask for. She was here for you at any time, the two of you were spending nights listening to music, dancing like crazy and watching movies together, she was the nicest. Not too long ago, she had decided that her mission was to find you a lover. Since you knew her, you have never been in a relationship because of your last ex that hurted you. Wanda loved talking about boys and girls at your school even if you, not so much, you weren't really attracted to anybody. This morning at 8am, at the start of the day, when you were already tired, she obviously had to talk to you about her mission of finding you a partner.

"Wanda!" You had cutted her in the middle of the list of people she found attractive and she looked at you with wide eyes. You checked quickly around you and found some of the students looks on you, you almost just shouted on the corridor and you lowered your voice quickly. "As i said, i'm over it. I used to crush easily in the past, but i'm done with that." She nodded furiously as you talked, drinking every word you were saying. "No more falling for people at the drop of a hat, i'm focusing on school and my future." She rolled her eyes while sighing. You putted your backpack on your shoulder and closed your locker while smiling at her disappointed face.

As you were about yo go for your first class, you heard a couple of whispers in the corridor. Wanda looked around, she seemed to have heard those too because she was investigating the crowd with her eyes to see what was happening, she loved gossiping. Even if you two were searching what was arriving, you both knew what was coming, or rather, who were coming.

It took no time before Sam Wilson, Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes were walking through the corridor, meeting you and Wanda's gazes, sending chills down your spine. The three guys were pretty popular at your school, each one for a different reason. Steve was popular for being pretty good in sports and good looking, tall, blonde, blue eyes, girls and boys were falling for him all around the school. He was a huge victim of gossips, there was always at least once a week a new gossip about him dating someone but the truth is, Steve was super sweet, caring and gentle with everyone but not a lot into dating.

Sam was just as known by everyone, he was also good in sports and extremely funny, the man always had to crack a joke when he could, making people laugh would bright up his day. He was less victim of gossip because he was talking to the whole school and was making sure everyone was feeling at ease around him.

Bucky was the less popular of the three of them, mostly because he was the most introverted of the three. He was really shy but harsh when he talked and he truly wasn't afraid of telling what he tought. The brunette was a truly different person when you were seeing him at lunch with Sam and Steve, letting out laughs from the heart. You only shared one class with James and he was always at the back of the class, drawing sketches furiously in his copybooks in silence.

The three of them passed by you and Wanda. Sam gave you a huge smile and a wave without stopping his tracks. You could only hear his voice echoing in your ears: "Sup, Wanda, Y/N,". Your blood was rushing to your cheeks, these blushing furiously. This man had so much confidence, it was intimidating. Your hands held tighter the strap of your backpack as you watched him walk away, biting your lower lip. You didn't even saw Steve giving you a polite smile and Buck giving a quick glance on your direction, they didn't stopped and followed Sam quickly as your mind was still racing of this insignificant gesture.

"So turned out, you were lying. You still fall for people with a drop of a hat." Your head snapped in Wanda's direction. She was already looking at you with a knowing look, a smirk and wiggling eyebrows. You chuckled before rolling your eyes and going to your first class of the day without waiting for her. "You won't get away with that so easily Y/N ! It's my mission!" You laughed once again and went in your science class.

Your day passed slowly and it made you even more tired as the hours were advancing. You slowly made your way to your last class, exhausted as ever. As you were about to enter the classroom you stood in the doorway, all of your tiredness going away as you saw Sam Wilson sitting at your desk. You stood there for a couple of milliseconds that felt like hours while staring at him, then you realized you might look like a creep so you went to sit just behind him without saying anything. He didn't realized you were staring at him, to your biggest satisfaction.

You knew Sam was in your class, it wasn't the surprise. The surprise was that he sat somewhere else than his usual seat, and at your own usual place. Actually, you never saw him much in your math class, mostly because he was always in the back. You only knew he had good grades because teachers would always congratulate him, but he always seemed like he wasn't listening in class. He was a nice and funny guy who could talk with anyone easily but in class he wasn't that much of a trouble maker. What were you thinking about ? He probably didn't even noticed he sitted at your desk.

You were wrong. Sam knew exactly where you sitted because he already saw you a couple of times in this class or at lunch and he thought you were mesmerizing, because, he was, in fact, mesmerized by you. Your laugh, your smile, the way your were talking. At first, he thought you didn't wanted of a guy like him. Loud, noisy, attracting everyone's attention, but when Steve told him this morning the way you were looking at him, boy, his heart beat faster, a huge smile took over his features and he felt like the happiest man on Earth. You were looking at him, the way he did. As soon as he heard what the blonde said to him, he thought about you all day and for him, the day passed really quickly. He was going to ask you out on a date at the end of this class, and he would do everything he could, starting as you walked by the door.

You putted on your desk your pencil case and everything you needed for your math class, he did the same. You were watching his every moves closely, a bit lost in your toughts. The class started and you tried to focus, you really did, but with such a beautiful man in front of you, you soon met your toughts again. That's why you were so surprised when he made eye contact with you.

"Do you have an eraser ?" He smiled angelically and you knew you were screwed.

"I would love to.." You answered mindlessly as you were putting, in his hand, your own eraser. He chuckled at your answer, that's when you realized how dumb sounded your response. As your hands touched you felt an electric shock running through your veins and your cheeks became crimson at the contact. He used your eraser briefly before putting it back on your table with a quick "thanks".

You didn't even liked your math class that much, but who were you to complain when such an astonishing man was sitting in front of you, math class was becoming slowly your favourite. Thanks maths for giving you the right to put your eyes on Sam Wilson.

You were studying the back of his head curiously, watching his dark hair, his skin, what he was wearing closely, you wouldn't miss a sight of him, you were so close his cologne was tickling your nose and, it smelt amazing.

You were listening as his soothing voice was talking with confidence answering the questions of the teacher, filling the room that was usually in the silence. The man was really smart, and it only made your heart swell even more. He looked like he was straight out of a romance TV show and you just couldn't keep your eyes off of him. Your eyes went lower and you saw his hands playing easily with his pen, his arms showing that work out had been done and before you could continue to observe him, the bell rang and he was leaving in seconds making you sigh as you packed up your things. You've been studying him instead of your maths the whole hour and now you were completely lost in the lesson. You putted your backpack on your shoulders and exited the classroom and your whole body stopped in the middle of the corridor because he didn't left.

He was here. Waiting for someone. When his eyes found yours a giant smile took over his lips and you bit yours. He was walking over someone else behind you right ? Not you right now, he was coming no time to think!

He took a big breath before talking, "Please don't interrupt me because i've been searching what i'm about to say the whole class," you both chuckled before he continued, "So, Hi? Okay so," he cleared his throat, "I think you're very cool and i wanted to know if we could go on a date sometime, maybe grab something to eat or watch a movie togerher, no pressure don't feel obligated to say yes, just... tell me what you think you know." He let out a shaky laugh as he fidgeted akwardly with his fingers before looking back at you. Damn, Sam Wilson was asking you on a date, that was a big deal because he was nervous and never he was, but how could you say no ? You've been admiring him from afar for way too long and he just admitted he was also doing so.

"Yeah, i'd love to go on a date with you sometime Sam." You smiled sweetly at him and you searched fastly in your backpack before taking out your marker. He was super excited and had a giant smile on his face, his heart was beating so fast he thought he might get out of his cage. "I don't have a paper it's okay if i write on the back of your hand ?" You cocked an eyebrow at him and he nodded eagerly. You wrote your number on the back of his hand as you said and as soon as your skin touched again, that electric wave going trough your body came back faster than ever, your smile growing even bigger. You definitly thought it was love at first sight, and that it was what soulmates were experiencing.

You looked at him when you finished writing, he looked more happy than ever and it made your cheeks blush. You putted your marker back in your bag and a couple of seconds passed just where Sam and you were staring at each other with a huge smile. Then he finally talked.

"I should probably go.. I'll tell you when we'll plan our date ?" He looked at you as you nodded in silence, you approached him and gave him a kiss on the cheek before doing a quick wave of the hand "See ya, Wilson." and disappearing in the corridor. Otherwise Sam stood there a couple of minutes caressing with his cheek where you kissed him with the tip of his fingers. He came back to him, realizing what happened and he jumped in the air like a kid, even doing a little dance of joy, running towards Steve and Bucky, ready to tell them everything.

You however you joined Wanda that gave you a knowing look. "I know, i said i'm over it but-" She cutted you with an excited squeak and took you in her arms. "I'm so happy for you! You don't even need me to find a boyfriend!" You laughed and she did so too.

You couldn't wait for your date, and you couldn't wait for your next math class.

[meetmeatthecoda]

Well, for the bread crumbs, I think we all remember Cape May and both the way Red said "a man made it clear" talking about Tom forbidding him to ever come close to Agnes again (instead of saying "her father" which would be pretty logically if Tom, indeed, was Agnes' father) and Katarina talking about her child being raised by someone else because she's her parent but also a death to her and that she knows that her daughter would always be haunted and eventually killed as long as she draws breath and continues to exist because of who she is but we all know that Katarina here is a figment of Red's own imagination, the manifestation of his subconsciousness (or, well a more reckless and hurting part of him as opposed to the levelheaded one Red himself embodies, talking his other self out of the suicide and all), so everything she says is what Red actually says/thinks, which is... pretty Agnesgate.

And don't even get me started on the fact that there's no way that Red's "There was a woman I loved. She was... my life. My heart" wasn't referring to Liz and that's like... the farthest thing from what a parent/a person whose relationship with the person they're taking about is parental would say but a very romantic and beautiful and heartbreaking thing to say about someone you're in love with.

OMG yes, anon!! Cape May was and continues to be the greatest wealth of evidence for (1) Lizzington and (2) Agnesgate!! Not to mention the most beautiful way to rip our hearts out. Thanks, James 🥲 Anyway, yes, that whole speech to hallucination!Katarina/drugged!Red is hella Agnesgate. Just the weirdest language involved there, as you rightly say, with the avoidance of the word "father" to describe Tom, combined with the absolute heartbreak Red is experiencing at being separated from Agnes in the wake of Lizzie's "death". I mean, if Agnes was Liz and T*m's daughter, yes, Red would love her unconditionally and want to protect her bc she's Lizzie's child, but one could fairly ask the question... why was his heartbreak so poignant? Especially when combined with the whole "father/child" speech... a lil sus, imo. AND it's clear he was talking about AGNES in that regard, NOT her mother.

And, on that note - and to hit on your lovely second paragraph - Red WAS referring to Lizzie with his heart-shattering quote, "There was a woman I loved. She was... my life. My heart." *cue the violins* A writer at the time confirmed it on Twitter or somewhere, that he was indeed talking about Liz. And the language of that quote, with the way James delivered it is just... peak romance. Nothing f*milial about it!! So, in conclusion (lolz), we should float the question... why would Red be so desperate to be close to Agnes when he's spiraling from Lizzie's "death"? Bc she's the last connection he has to Lizzie, Agnes reminds him of her mother, and Lizzie "died" from complications of giving birth to her, and, while that's not explicitly Agnesgate... it's pretty close 😏

AnYwAy, thank you for this, anon, I'm living for all this Agnesgate content in my ask box, it's sustaining me, especially as I live in anticipation of those Park Fantasy BTS pics from 8.22... 😬 Thanks again and much love to you!! ❤️

[notanacousticsetcal]

betty - calum hood

summary - a story based off of the song betty by taylor swift -- one of my absolute favorites from folklore and the most beautiful little story :) (y/n) in the role of the icon betty. 

warnings - cheating

word count - 3k ish

mood board

a/n - check out the other 3 installments of the song series too! this piece is kind of out of the blue because I actually started it and finished it today which is extremely rare for me but I actually really like how it turned out. hope you guys do too. :) (def listen to this song -- its amazing). (btw this isnt the calum fic i was referencing in one of my previous posts, that one is still in the works.)

Betty, I won't make assumptions about why you switched your homeroom, but I think it's 'cause of me.

Calum sat in the back row, staring at Missy Grenshaw’s head feeling the hole in his chest grow larger. He glanced at your empty seat and frowned, his eyebrows scrunched together. 

He heard Mrs. Martin start attendance and when she skipped over your name, the hole grew impossibly larger. 

Calum tried to convince himself you switched because Mrs. Martin was a hard grader, but he knew that wasn’t the real reason.

He knew it was because you couldn’t stand to see his face. 

Betty, one time I was riding on my skateboard when I passed your house. It's like I couldn't breathe.

Calum listened to the sound of a distant lawn mower and the rustling leaves and inhaled the smell of someone barbecuing in their backyard, trying to calm himself. He almost turned around and went home, his stomach grumbling at the idea of dinner waiting for him on the dining room table, but he didn’t. 

He was only a block away from your house now. He pretended like he was riding down your street because it had the smoothest road, but Calum couldn’t lie to himself. Just knowing your room was in that house and knowing you might be sitting on your bed was enough to draw Calum near. 

He didn’t let himself stop in front of the brick fronted modest house, but he wanted to. His legs ached as he kept pushing. He secretly hoped the sound of his wheels would draw you to the window. He held his breath in anticipation, but nothing. Not even a subtle shift in the curtains. 

You heard the rumors from Inez. You can't believe a word she says most times, but this time it was true. The worst thing that I ever did was what I did to you.

“(Y/n)!” A familiar voice chirped from behind you. You turned on your heel to face your friend, Inez. She was your source of gossip always, even if it was almost always speculation and barely ever accurate. 

You weren’t expecting her sad features -- it alarmed you. “Are you alright, Inez? What happened?” You linked arms with her as you continued forward, heading for first period.

She nodded softly. “You aren’t going to want to hear this, (y/n).”

But if I just showed up at your party, would you have me? Would you want me? Would you tell me to go fuck myself or lead me to the garden? In the garden would you trust me if I told you it was just a summer thing? I'm only seventeen, I don't know anything but I know I miss you.

Calum tossed the tennis ball up and caught it. He laid on his bed, absentmindedly continuing to toss the ball up and down, his mind plagued with thoughts about you.

Your birthday was a week away. Calum let his mind wander off in endless possibilities. 

He knew how much he had hurt you and the guilt ate at him constantly. A day didn’t go by that he didn’t beat himself up for being so stupid. 

Nothing was worth more to him than your happiness and he knew that now. He would do anything in his power to fix what he broke, if you’d let him.

He wondered how you would react if he showed up on your doorstep that evening, a bundle of flowers in hand and an apologetic smile on his face. 

He wondered if you’d slam the door in his face and ignore his knocks and desperate pleas. 

Or if you’d hesitantly let him come inside, your guard up, and lead him to the garden to talk alone. If you’d let him ramble on about how stupid he was. About how badly he messed up.

About how much he fucking missed you. 

Your soft smile and your positive, bright disposition and your generosity and selflessness. The way your eyes squinted when you laughed and the way your hair smelled. 

Calum really fucking missed you.

But he knew he didn’t really deserve a second chance. And he was asking a lot begging for one. But he thought he at least had to try.

Or this mistake would haunt him for the rest of his life. 

Betty, I know where it all went wrong, your favorite song was playing from the far side of the gym. I was nowhere to be found, I hate the crowds, you know that. Plus, I saw you dance with him.

Calum walked into the school alongside you, your hand in his and a bright smile on your face. You loved dances and seeing all your friends dressed up -- Calum felt claustrophobic, but he would do anything to keep that smile on your face, so he tagged along anyway.

Immediately, you tugged him towards the dance floor and he followed hesitantly. After only a few moments on the dance floor, Calum excused himself to the sidelines. He watched your expression fall, but you understood. You would never pressure him into anything he was uncomfortable with.

Calum felt like he could finally breathe properly from the edges of the gym.

He watched solemnly as the DJ began to play your favorite song. Your features lit up and Calum couldn’t help but smile, too. He wished he could go in there and dance with you but just the thought of being squished in between so many people made his pulse speed up and his palms sweaty.

He watched Dean approach you, clearly nervous, and his hands turned to fists. Calum had half a mind to go over there and punch him square in the face. 

Calum knew he couldn’t do that, but he had fun imagining it.

Dean grabbed your waist, pulling you close, and Calum’s heart practically stopped.

He couldn’t take anymore, so with one last glance at your soft smile, Calum stalked off in an angry blur.

Calum knew if he had just asked, you would’ve reassured him it was only a dance.

Calum knew if he had just asked, everything wouldn’t have gone the way it did. 

I was walking home on broken cobblestones just thinking of you when she pulled up like a figment of my worst intentions. She said "James, get in, let's drive,” those days turned into nights. Slept next to her but I dreamt of you all summer long.

The sun beat down on Calum’s back and he couldn’t wait to get home. He’d run out of water long ago, riding his skateboard in the early summer heat. 

He stumbled home, skipping happily over cracks in the concrete, skateboard in hand. 

He thought about seeing you after dinner. Taking you to your favorite tree and watching the stars. Or… looking at you while you looked at the stars. He thought about the way you danced with Dean. He still hadn’t told you how much it bothered him so he just let the resentment boil up until it stung the back of his throat.

Calum heard tires screech next to him, a familiar face in the driver's seat. Her red lipstick shimmered in the direct sunlight. Her sunglasses reflected Calum’s awestruck face. 

“Calum, get in. Lets drive,” She said. Her lips quirked up into an inviting smile and Calum swayed hesitantly. “Aw, come on. I’ll drive you home.” 

Calum looked around at the neighborhood once more, checking for witnesses, and then finally climbed into the silver convertible. As soon as he got in, his heart fluttered with guilt. His eyes filled with images of you, hurting, and he almost got out. Almost.

There was Dean again, haunting Calum through memories, smiling down at you, holding you. Calum gripped his skateboard harder, his knuckles growing white.

Her voice was so inviting and her car smelled so nice. The air conditioning hit Calum’s warm skin and soothed it instantly. Calum stayed. 

Calum didn’t just stay, though. He could’ve forgiven himself for that. 

Betty, I'm here on your doorstep and I planned it out for weeks now but It's finally sinking in. Betty, right now is the last time I can dream about what happens when you see my face again. The only thing I wanna do is make it up to you. 

Calum tossed and turned in his sleep, getting more and more frustrated with the nerves. He would face you tomorrow. It would determine the outcome of everything he had been wondering and worrying about for weeks. 

Tomorrow meant everything. He had one last night to drift into dreams about how you might react. The forgiveness or resentment. The smile or the tears. The hug or the shove. 

He drifted to sleep with images of you playing in his mind. In your favorite sweater, his hand in yours. 

Calum hoped with everything in him that you could see past his stupid mistake. But he prepared himself for the worst. You didn’t owe him anything. 

So, I showed up at your party. Yeah, I showed up at your party. Yeah, I showed up at your party. Will you have me? Will you love me? Will you kiss me on the porch in front of all your stupid friends? If you kiss me, will it be just like I dreamed it? Will it patch your broken wings? I'm only seventeen. I don't know anything, but I know I miss you.

Calum straightened out his button down and shifted the flowers, watching a few stray petals fall loose and hit the pavement of your porch. He cleared his throat and listened anxiously while his heart pounded ferociously in his ear. 

He could faintly hear commotion from within the confines of your home but he couldn’t make out anything they were saying.

His shaky hand extended towards the dark wood door and he knocked twice.

Cars were parked a block or two down the street -- all of your friends had already arrived.

Calum could lie and say he meant to be the last person, but in reality, he sat in his car for 30 minutes gathering up the nerve to come over there.

He could see multicolored balloons lining the walls inside. He watched as a figure appeared through the window, the tint making the figure only a silhouette. 

The door began to open and Calum thought for a moment about running, but it was too late. Before he knew it, he was face to face with you again. For the first time in 2 months, you were looking at him and he was looking at you.

He watched as confusion and shock filled your eyes, and then disappeared, filling with pure curiosity. He didn’t notice any anger yet. 

“Calum?” Your voice was like sugar. Calum’s knees felt weak.

“Yeah, hi (y/n).” Calum coughed. “Happy birthday.”

There were a million things Calum wanted to say and that wasn’t necessarily at the top of his list. He mentally face palmed. Your eyebrows knit together. “Thank you?” You looked down at the bouquet of flowers in his hand. “Are those for me?” 

Calum looked down at the flower he almost forgot he was holding, too lost in your eyes to care about anything else. “Oh, yes. Yeah.” He stumbled, holding them out to you.

You took them without a word. 

“So um…” Calum started, wringing out his sweaty hands. “I was hoping I could talk to you for a minute.”

You turned around for a moment towards the chatter coming from the kitchen and then turned back to face him with a sigh. “Why should I say yes?” You didn’t look angry… just tired. 

Calum scratched the back of his neck anxiously. “You don’t owe me anything, I know that. I was hoping to apologize, if you’d let me. I know that I’m the biggest idiot on the planet and I broke your heart and there's no way I can go back and undo that, but I owe it to you to at least try to fix what I broke. You don’t have to let me, though. I wouldn’t be mad if you cursed me out or slapped me or slammed the door in my face. I deserve it. I hurt you, and I suck for that.” He took a deep breath staring at the ground.

Your eyes softened and you sighed. “Come on.” You grabbed Calum’s hand and tugged him into the house, shutting the door softly behind him.

Calum followed your lead as you stepped through the back door into the garden.

You’d planted more of the flowers you told him about months ago and Calum thought your vision was really coming to life. You pulled him to a small metal table in the corner and sat down.

Calum looked around again, taking in all you’d accomplished since you two last spoke. “It looks beautiful, (y/n).”

You sighed, proudly admiring the shrubs and greenery that surrounded you. “I needed something to take my mind off things so I kind of poured my soul into it.” You fiddled with your rings.

Calum knew he was what you needed to take your mind off of and that made him feel even worse. “What I did to you… it was unforgivable. It’s the worst thing I’ve ever done. I betrayed your trust and I hurt you in the worst way imaginable. That girl… it was nothing. It meant nothing.”

Calum watched you carefully as you took this in. Again, you didn’t look angry or sad — just emotionally drained. Numb. “I just… I guess I kinda just wanna know why. Was I… was I not enough?” Calum watched the tears well up that threatened to spill over and down your rosy cheeks.

He shook his head instantly. “No, no. Of course not. I spent a lot of time thinking about it because at first I didn’t even know. But I think I was just… jealous.”

You scoffed. “Jealous?” Calum blushed. “But of who?”

Calum inhaled deeply, prepared to completely embarrass himself. If it meant getting back on good terms with you. “Dean,” he muttered.

You couldn’t help but laugh. And not just chuckle — really laugh. “Dean? Dean Marshall. You were jealous of Dean Marshall?” You put a hand over your mouth to stifle the laughter. It felt nice to laugh after so many weeks of pain. 

Calum rolled his eyes playfully. “Yes, Dean Marshall. When he danced with you at the formal I was pissed.”

You stopped laughing, seeing the hurt in Calum’s soft features.

“You didn’t really think I was interested in him?... Did you?” You asked.

Calum looked down, playing with a loose thread on his trousers.

You let out a heavy sigh. “Oh, Cal. I never had any feelings for Dean.”

“Deep down, I did know that. It was some petty revenge thing in my head. I should’ve just voiced my pain and I know you would’ve reassured me. I was so dumb. I’ve never regretted anything so much in my life.” Calum finished with an exasperated breath and you smiled at his passion.

“Do you want to come in for cake, Cal?” 

Calum’s eyes shot up to read your face. You couldn’t be serious. You laughed at his eagerness and joy. “I would love to come in for cake,” Calum said easily.

You grabbed his hand, guiding him towards the back door and inside.

You ignored the series of gasps from your unsuspecting friends and found Calum a seat around the table. Nobody asked questions. They just smiled. If you were happy and safe, then they were happy too.

After some time, the sun was nearing the horizon and friends were bidding their goodbyes.

Calum hadn’t taken his eyes off you all night.

Your stomach tingled in anticipation whenever you caught his gaze.

Calum got a text from his mom saying she needed him home, so he begrudgingly headed for the door, his hand in yours.

“Happy birthday, again,” he whispered in your ear. 

“Thank you for coming today. It must’ve taken a lot of guts.” You laughed at Calum’s expression.

“You have no idea. But I'm so glad I did it.” He looked down at you fondly and you felt as if your knees might give out.

Before you could stop and think about the consequences, you were leaning closer and so was he.

Your noses barely brushed and the air around you was heating. It felt like everything between you two was leading up to this very moment — this very kiss. 

He stooped down a little lower, pressing his lips gently onto yours. You felt a rush of emotions. You had missed him all this time. You felt ready to try again - slowly building a mutual trust between you two again.

His lips folded over yours at a steady pace. It was soft and not rushed. It was perfect.

When he pulled away, your lips tingled at the absence of his. 

You were startled by the sudden applause.

You friends had gathered in the hall and watched the entire thing. You hid your face in Calum’s shoulder.

Standing in your cardigan. Kissing in my car again. Stopped at a streetlight, you know I miss you.

You slipped into Calum’s car and he smiled fondly. He hadn’t been this happy in so long.

You grabbed his sweater -- the one that had once been yours -- and felt it between your fingers. “You still have this old thing?” 

He smiled, his cheeks glowing a faint pink. He looked adorable with his curls tumbling down across his forehead. “It smells like you.”

You planted a gentle kiss on his cheek.

He had missed you. But he didn’t have to anymore.

[freddiefcknmercury]

A Promise(part 2)- Crimson & Clover

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader(Black coded/Genderless)

Word Count: 2.7+

Warnings/Disclaimer: SMUT. ANGST. cursing. mild depression/heart-ache. etc etc. if something needs to be tagged please lemme know.

A/N: LOL I'm back on my bullshit yall. heavy angst/depression from the previous Steve centered storyline so if you haven't read "You really think I didn't know?" I'll do some magic linky links here and at the bottom just in case. Also I'm trying something kinda different with the way I post the fics so feedback is welcome.

ALSO this one comes with a tiny playlist! there are Bolded lyrics throughout if you want to get a deeper sense of where I was emotionally writing this and where reader is as well you can Def give these songs a listen, they are in order of appearance:

Crimson & Clover- Tommy James & The Shondells

Every Time I Breathe- Arlissa

Navy Blue - Hasani

Summary: Bucky takes an extended leave for "work" related reasons and reader slips back into some dark places in his absence...

~*As always, be Nice to me I’m Delicate*~

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

He said he might be gone most of the week. Sam called the day before and all you know is it's something important. He didn't go into detail, just packed a bag and you'd never seen him do that before. But he was also only gone a day or two at a time and never felt the need to tell you about it before now either.

Up until recently you'd tip-toe around each other. Not like you used to with Steve though, worse. Bucky is a lot better at making sure you don't know he's there until it's too late. It felt like you'd never get used to each other, or more likely that you'd never want to. You might've still been secretly hoping that he'd stop caring and go away... after a while you got tired of your own bullshit and realized he's giving off that vibe on purpose. Wordlessly telling you how you should feel about him, not wanting to get too close. You never much liked being told what to do.

It was only about two months before you became a Barnes' expert. You'd sit up at night listening intently for when he'd shower, get in bed, or wake up. He never slept more than five maybe six hours at a time, you'll never understand how he can function like that. You know how he likes his coffee, which angle he holds his cup. How and where he takes off his shoes, how much ice he puts in a drink, the way he likes to cut his toast, and what time he has to do all of it. There's an almost unnerving pattern to him, one that's always been there and you were just unwilling to notice for so long, and you're not sure if he's even aware of it.

You woke up to him already gone. You knew he was leaving but actually being left alone like that unsettled you more than you anticipated, a serious case of Deja vu. You went into your routine like normal, because everything still was, but by the fifth day... you stepped into the front room and got that empty feeling. One you hadn't really had since...

It stopped you for a few seconds longer than you liked and a large knot formed in your stomach. You spent the whole day trying to ignore the feeling but it only got worse. Like a hunger pain but much more vague, crawling through each muscle. You'd catch yourself staring at his room, Bucky's room but also... Steve's. It's the first time you let yourself admit to him fully crossing your mind in over a year.

You laid up in bed, trying to count the metaphorical sheep to no avail. Getting up thinking that a snack or a warm drink will stop the restlessness, you pause in the tiny hallway shared by your bedrooms. The low blue light from the moon outside dustily illuminating the space through  a cloudy bathroom window. You stare at the door like any second he's going to ask what you're doing up so late and you can tell him to mind his own business while pouring two cups of tea.

You just wanted to touch the knob; turn it to make sure it still works- that you're still "allowed in there if you want". But stepping inside was too far, an invasion of Bucky's privacy, and you felt it. But you couldn't help yourself. You needed to know.

They were definitely cut from the same cloth. Sparse furnishings and no decorations, save a few very small trinkets he'd held onto from who knows where. There is exactly one row on his bookshelf filled with composition notebooks that were beat to hell and back. Sticky notes lined the edge of most of the pages, so much so that they easily could've been mistaken for feathers on a quick glance. You dare not touch them. Observing someone with a past that checkered is very different to reading into the things they deem worthy of physically writing down.

Where Steve used to leave small drawings and notes Bucky left half empty ink pens and a few well used pairs of gloves. You saunter to the far corner of the room and caress a worn leather jacket hanging precariously on the lowest peg of a coat rack. Doing a slow sweep of the space something in the otherwise barren closet catches your eye. The knot in your stomach that had almost disappeared was back and it brought friends. Your shirt. His shirt. The big one that said BROOKLYN across the front, what you didn't know was your "going away gift." The one you balled up and shoved in the top corner of his closet, at the time hoping you'd never look at it again. You're amazed that it's still here, that Bucky hadn't tossed it out or tried to give it back to you when he moved in.

So you put it on. You're still not sure why but you needed to wear it. To feel it drape over your skin, enveloping you in warmth and that beautiful clean familiar scent you... loved once. It sent a shiver down your spine. The knots in your stomach were gone but now there's one in your throat. You can feel the tears seated right behind your eyes. You sit on the bed holding your face pleading with the water to stay put but it's too late. You miss him. You hate to admit it, but it's true and it always has been. You're angry and you should be, you loved him- you thought he might've loved you. Pulling the hem of the shirt up you wipe the tears off your face and fall into a pillow, trying to calm yourself out of your rage unintentionally drifting into sleep.

*****************************************************

You wake up to the sound of music in the kitchen.

...Ah, now I don't hardly know her, but I think I could love her...

You sit up quickly checking your phone: 11:34am. You'd fallen asleep in Bucky's room, in his bed. A blanket had been placed over you and a short scan of the room returned a brown leather duffel bag and set of black boots that weren't present last night. He'd come back early this morning and found you here. You can feel your heart fall straight out of your ass, the void that was left being filled with pure embarrassment. Is he angry? He did tuck you in...

As slowly and quietly as possible you make your way towards the door, poking your head out just enough to assess the situation. You can see his back in the kitchen, he's hovering over the sink. You notice the couch, the spare blanket and pillow from the bathroom closet folded neatly on one of the arm rests, he had to sleep there. The void gets deeper. You pull the door open just enough to slip out of and there's a quiet creak. Steve never did fix that, and you just figured out why.

Bucky didn't turn around but definitely noticed. He steps to the side, now in front of the stove and you here something crack and sizzle. You're not sure what to do here. You can try to apologies and explain but there's no un-embarrassing way out of this one. You fold your arms over your stomach trying to hold all your very delicate pieces together while you attempt to speak up. Finally reaching the bar and fully prepared to say good morning when he quickly sets a hot bowl down in front of you. White rice and a fried egg- runny yolk. You'd make it for breakfast when you'd get up early or couldn't sleep, a friend from school put you on to it. Looks like he's been studying you too. You make eye contact but, just briefly. From what little of the expression you get on his face nothing indicates that he's mad. But he hasn't said anything to the contrary either.

How was your trip?  Dangerous I bet-sorry you couldn't come home and sleep in your own goddamn bed! Oh?! AND you made me breakfast!

You feel like a crazy person.

"Comfy last night?"

He's pouring himself some coffee, not yet turning your way. There's no hostility in his voice.

You chuckle nervously.

"Yeah.. sorry about that."

"Don't worry about it."

He sets a small glass of juice down in front of you. Heavy eye contact this time, but his expression is soft. He didn't ask for an explanation and you really didn't want to give him one. But you still feel guilt looming over you. You take the glass in both hands and nurse it.

He nods at you with a squint, taking a big sip of coffee.

"If I knew that was yours I would've given it back."

The shirt. You forgot you actually put it on. You hold your breath stroking the fabric gently. Contemplating your next words.

"It's not- well, not really."

He raises an eyebrow.

"It was a gift, so I guess it does belong to me..."

Glancing back down at it you can see him realize it says "Brooklyn." His expression changes to a knowing one and it reads like regret but he quickly tries to box it back up for you. This is a new move for him.

There's a much longer pause in conversation than either of you would like before he shifts his weight awkwardly.

"Sorry."

You push glass, now empty back across the bar towards him.

"Don't worry about it-"

You swivel in your seat quickly, taking your bowl and getting up to leave. He steps out from the kitchen after you.

"Thanks for breakfast."

The tears had been welling up and started to pour over as you left. You're still in no state to pretend to be a functioning person right now. Trying to save him from your ugly cry face by escaping but he grabs your shoulder gently suggesting you backwards.

You cover your mouth to hush a sob. You can see your chest start heave but there's nothing you can do to stop yourself. He grabs the bowl setting it down carefully, then you feel a warm metal sensation squeezing the back of your neck.

"You don't have to be over it."

He's been back a couple hours and already knows you're still a mess. You scoff, laughing at yourself really.

"What's wrong with me?"

"Nothing."

He whispered back quickly, exasperated, but tender.

You sniffle; pathetic.

"That's not how it feels."

"He fucked up. He just doesn't know it."

He wrapped his arm around your shoulders pulling you into his embrace.

It's nice to feel another person. A real solid human being; you can't remember the last time you hugged someone like this. You turn in his arms to face him. He looks tired. Not just 'had-to-sleep-on-an-old-couch' tired. Emotionally repressed. Maybe he has actually wanted to talk to you. He pulls you into him, it's just a hug  but it almost hurt how sweet this was.

Then a thought came to you, not really sure how, you can't handle more rejection right now; but you kissed him anyway, hard. Like him being gone almost killed you- because it did. He pulls away from you, just a little, reading your face his own expressionless. You search his eyes for any kind of hint as to what's going on inside his mind. You're not ready to admit this was a mistake yet. There's no real way to know how long you stood there like that. You only dare to move after you hear the song change in the background.

Words... thought they just fade away

but hurt... gave them a place to stay

"Do something."

You were sure it was just in your head but it creaked out past your lips in less than a whisper, pleading with him.

He covered your mouth with his, smoothing both hands down your neck to your shoulders gripping them gently, intently. You cling to his waist almost afraid to explore anywhere else, then slowly drag nails along his back. He pulls you back into him, you want to fuse with the warmth radiating off of his body, he bends and you collide onto the floor with a muffled thud. He cradles your head quickly so you don't get hurt but you wouldn't care at this point.

The way you fit into each other is unnerving, like your bodies weren't meant for anybody else. You both scramble to undress him in between breathy wet kisses and he's... magnificent. He pulls off his shirt and you swiftly run fingers from his neck down each arm. The metal one is warm, this surprises you for some reason. You watch as each "muscle" dances at your touch and you catch a small glimpse of something on his face that resembles insecurity... or fear. He shelves it quickly in response to you bucking your hips up to dismiss your underwear.

He buries his face in your neck, warm breaths ghosting your skin. Hooking his hands behind your knees he hoists your legs up around his waist. He bites down gently and you gasp. It's too much. He's everywhere, all at once. The last person to touch you event remotely close to this was-

"...Steve."

It just came out, you almost didn't notice it. Bucky stops, pulling back and away. He scans you, a pitiful, panting mess on the floor. The most vulnerable you've probably ever been and definitely in front of him. He shakes his head slowly once, chest heaving.

"No."

Knots line your stomach once again. He grabs your wrist to hold your arms in place up above your head and presses his forehead against yours.

"Look at me."

You hold eye contact there for a solid minute, you're sure of it. He leans forward delicately dragging teeth against your ear.

"You're gonna keep saying it until you can't forget."

He drops his hips and lines up with your entrance. You feel a thick wash of euphoria from the pressure, throwing your head back as much as possible given the floor. You roll your hips along to his, cradling each other perfectly.

His eyes didn't leave your face until you both feel your legs begin to tremble.

"Oh Bucky."

The only words you can remember.

You feel every stroke hasten and all his muscles tighten each time his name falls from your lips. He pulls your shirt up to your neck looking to spatter kisses and bite marks across your torso. You futilely dig one set of nails into the floor and the other in his shoulder as he hungrily growls into your stomach, cursing, longing for mercy.

"Fuck."

You pull him back up to your face demanding his tongue. You hear the floorboard creek from the pressure of a metal hand, the flesh one surely bruising your hip by now. There's a deep enduring moan from the back of his throat as he finds his release inside you. You gasp at the sensation and you both pant into each other, nothing but a mess on the floor now.

He presses a long, firm kiss into the bridge of your nose then falls gently on his back beside you. You roll your head up to look at his face, whatever it is he's feeling isn't immediately obvious as he stares up at the ceiling. You shift onto your side placing a light, cautious hand on his chest and he glances over at you, reaching to squeeze your thigh reassuringly.

The sky is Navy Blue soon to be baby blue and baby you got nothing but time...

He looks over your face in a deep sigh before retiring his gaze to the ceiling.

"I don't know him... The guy that left you like that."

You watch intently has his jaw clenched, he's never been able to hide that bit very well.

"I don't know what kind of..."

He trails off, clearly upset.

You sigh deeply.

"I was gonna die that night."

He rolls his head back to look at you.

"The day I met him? I had pretty much made up my mind."

You start to fiddle with the hem of your shirt. Almost reminiscent.

"But he found me in the staircase..."

You hate how subtly he did some things. If you weren't lying next to him. There's no way you'd ever be able to tell his breathing had changed.

"Essentially-"

You pick your head up, chin on his sternum.

"He saved my life."

You state matter of factually. You watch his body relax in a short, bitter way.

He rolls his head over just enough to look you in the eyes. You kiss his chest once tenderly before moving to stand up. You extend a hand down for him to grab.

"That isn't good for your back."

"You really think I didn't know?" Part1