#(i know thats not why but its funny to say that)

[ghoulysaphomet]

An exempt from my newest Chatfic

Sharing this on Tumblr because I actually think it's funny, and because I'm considering making this into a mini-comic scene.

Chatnames:

Abel: Jason

Cain: Cass

Dickiebird: Dick

*Eggplant Emoji*: Stephanie

NotDamian: Damian

Queen: Barbara

Stoplight: Duke

Timber: Tim

Chat Room: Is that a bat? no. Is it a bird? Also no. We don’t know what that is.

Stoplight: what was that 

Cain: you should be asleep

Stoplight: well yeah i was asleep

Stoplight: ?? 

Stoplight: is someone crying?

Timber: It’s fine nothing’s wrong, Stephanie was just overreacting 

Stoplight: it doesnt sound like steph crying though

*Eggplant Emoji*: i thought a fucking demon was in the kitchen excuse me for freaking out 

*Eggplant Emoji*: what did you want me to do? conveniently drop onto the floor with spread legs saying ‘oh no step-monster i tripped and cannot get up pls help me’ huh tim? is that what you wanted? 

Timber: Uhm. 

*Eggplant Emoji*: no tim that’s not what you do in that scenario. no you find the first fucking thing you can find and you hurl that shit. do you understand

Timber : Yes? 

*Eggplant Emoji*: i dont believe you

Timber : But also, why is that your example? 

*Eggplant Emoji*: you know why.

Abel: lol

Dickiebird: but did it have to be my cereal

Stoplight: woah wait a minute

Stoplight: back up a bit. i feel like y’all may have glossed over something

Stoplight: what was that about a demon in the kitchen?

Timber: There was no demon. 

Timber: It was just Jason. 

Stoplight: ..okay that doesn’t really clarify anything? 

*Eggplant Emoji*: yeah well i didnt know that! how was i supposed to know his eyes glow in the dark like some analog horror creature?

Abel: rude

Dickiebird: :( my cereal 

*Eggplant Emoji*: dude you were sitting on the counter (alfred is going to murder you. was the rat not enough?) in pitch blackness eating a soggy bowl of cereal 

*Eggplant Emoji*: thats on u.

Dickiebird : its perfectly normal to eat cereal as an adult, its an easy meal and i was tired

*Eggplant Emoji*: uh-huh sure and next thing you'll say that you pour milk before the cereal too

Timber: What's wrong with that? That's clearly the superior way to eat cereal if you’ll eat it with milk. 

Stoplight: are we sure jasons the demon

Abel : don't drag me into this

*Eggplant Emoji*: tim. no.

Timber : Uh Tim, yes?

Timber: Soggy cereal is disgusting. If you pour milk on top of dry cereal it’ll all just get mushy and gross! If you pour milk first though you can strategically eat parts of it so it’ll retain the maximum capacity of crunch. 

Abel: it’s cereal.

Abel: only you would be overthinking, planning and ‘strategizing’ the best way to eat cereal. 

*Eggplant Emoji*: why are you surprised this is coming from the guy eating oats like its cereal 

Timber: ?? It is!! Oats with milk and cocoa powder on top is a valid meal? 

*Eggplant Emoji*: you dont even like oatmeal 

Timber: Oats are delicious. Oatmeal is gross. 

Abel: lemme guess. you hate tomatoes but like ketchup? 

Timber: Ew. no. 

Timber : I hate tomatoes and ketchup both, thanks.

Timber: I love tomato juice, though. 

Abel: bruh 

Stoplight: wait if dick was in the kitchen…

Stoplight: why didnt he react to jason/a demon breaking in to rob the fridge?

Timber : He probably recognised him?

Dickiebird : what if the demon had a family at home to feed. huh. what then?

NotDamian: Grayson likes to take stupid risks when he’s tired and hungry, especially when he’s both. I doubt he recognized the apparition as Todd and deemed the cereal worth it. this is backed up by the emotional outburst of brown taking his meal away.

Stoplight: ahh he’s the one crying 

Dickiebird: it was good cereal ok. 

-Cassandra and Jason's usernames are linked and sorta puns, in that Cain was Cass's last name (She goes by Wayne now) and that Jason was the first sibling to die.

And that's it! This is from the 2nd chapter of my newest chatfic "'Cus everytime we touch I get this feeling (That I want to kick your ass)" which can be found here on ao3.

There's no strict plotlines or anything. It's honestly just me having fun with these characters. It's not based on social media usage, because I don't have any other social media accounts aside from my tumblr (nor do i look at stuff from there) so it's just going to be fun scenarios and references to other fandom media by either inside jokes or very vague references lol.

I made this fic because I wanted to do something fun, so this is completely self indulgent.

Just fun tidbits on the batfam in this verse, which is probably more or less aligned with the WFA canon.

-It's an AU where Bruce is a good parent and went to therapy. He didn't revive the joker when Dick killed him.

- Jason wasn't revived as a Wayne and is usually referred to as a family friend in public. He has tattoos from the all-caste, which I believe he has canonically in one of the webcomics.

- Tim isn't UwU soft baby boy who needs help and someone to save him. He's unapologetically unhinged. So there's a lot of references to him knowing things or saying things he's not supposed to know. Let him be creepy, fanon, dammit.

- Damian has a snake, her name is Sting, because she'll sting you if you don't treat her well. She's of the species Bitis Rhinoceros and I love her.

- Tim and Barbara can and often will insert themselves in private conversations because they're nosy, bored or because they think whatever is being discussed could have important information. Jason can do this sometimes too, which he learned from Barbara. He mostly does it to mess with people.

- Duke's chatname is a reference to him being a robin once. I feel like his character is often either boiled down to him being either a tech-dude or moral support, but he was Robin canonically as well, just as Steph was, and he deserves acknowledgement, dammit.

- I'm not really a fan of romance, like, at all. There's very, very few ships/pairings where my mindset is "oh yeah they're in love" because usually it's just "they fuck nasty/they're obsessed with each other lose boundaries that way" - not saying that's a healthy relationship, but it's basically my sort of disclaimer that romance isn't going to be featured heavily if at all. However, Cass/Steph is in a relationship. It's not really mentioned so the reader can interpret it as romantic or queerplatonic, whatever they wanna I ain't a cop.

- Damian's chatname comes from Dick telling him not to put his real name online.

[holmsister]

Don't think this counts as a spoiler as it's one of those background details/extra material stuff that the anime usually doesn't cover so I'm gonna make a post about it for the anime people

Due to elven beauty standards being VERY skewed towards the feminine, Otta

Is as butch as elves can tolerate before they start getting scared.

[oceanwithouthermoon]

arisu knew saiki liked men all along

[dhmis-autism]

Hey hello!

Here are some colored doodles of the fun little DHMIS bodyswap idea thought up by the very fun, very smart @escargon! I did them way back when and wanted to finish them up to add to the fun lol.

It was sooo much fun to draw and I hope I made it clear whos who by the body language/dialogue but if not! I put a helpful little diagram in there. Also,as well, I think if Duck had access to a relatively-normal sized body like Reds’ that duckman is dressing up and NO ONE can stop him. So that’s the last two.

[luck-of-the-drawings]

OOH YEAH BABY! PARTY TIME BABY! MUSIC! DRINKS! SOCIAL PRESSURE & A PSYCHEDELIC BREAK DOWN! WELCOME TO VAMPIRE SOCIETY MOTHERFUCKER! ARE YOU SCARED? DO YOU UNDERSTAND YET? ITS OKAY IF NOT. FIRE DISSOLVED IT! ITS ALL GONE NOW. HAVE FUN!

[oifaaa]

We do have electric kettles but unless you were a dedicated tea drinker or enjoy pour over coffee (compared to other popular extraction methods). Not many have one.

Also we have plug covers.

Never said you guys didn't have kettles said you didn't have good ones which is true bc the voltage in your plugs is lower then the Irish/UK plugs it means the kettles take longer to boil and becomes more of an inconvenience i also never said you guys didn't have plug covers I just said you have to buy them separately they're not apart of the plug like the irish/UK plugs

[weirdprophetess]

tlt is so funny because yeah these ten thousand year old people hate each other because they've committed mass genocide, created an empire with so many faults built in and they've fought god knows how many times over the eons they've known each other but also one of these bitches ate peanuts in a meeting once and somebody else has NEVER forgiven him for it

[clover-46]

the writers on here making the miguel fics need to remember his fangs inject paralytic venom hes not a real vampire it was just a joke in the movie 😭

oh but i still want him to bite me don’t get me wrong idgaf if they have venom 🤷🏾‍♀️🤷🏾‍♀️

[crescentfool]

does anyone else want to stick these two in the same room together or is that just me... i simply think they are adjacent in vibes... (+a bonus thing???)

get u a fictional guy that makes you feel like this... seeing these guys just evoke a Similar Kind of Brain Chemical and Response. Help Me.

also have bonus yosuke doodle featuring the same brushes used here...! from january 23rd, lol.

[eebie]

i cant keep it hidden any longer

[moeblob]

There was a post I saw about someone who mutually ghosted a guy after a date and kept matching with him and they're not interested but it's the longest "relationship" the person had been in at that point and I'm like. Karen would mutually ghost someone.

She doesn't really tell Brent/Right/Evelyn/Chris his name (he has a double first name, Patrick is not his last name) and just refers to him as "My Guy". Like "Ah damn, My Guy matched again. End my suffering." And when she tries to explain it to Right who does NOT understand how it's different, her logical answer is "it's my God given right to ghost a polite man!"

Also I just imagine her confiding in Paul about Rick and he's like "is his name Patrick" and she's like "kinda". And after that, Paul calls him "Pattycakes" cause he's never even seen the guy so why not give him a funny little nickname. He's allowed to do so at this point probably.

[oceanwithouthermoon]

i think its weird that i have to make this disclaimer but the internet is crazy so wtvr,, anyway,,

if i say i dont like something, that doesnt mean "that thing is bad and nobody should post it.."

i swear literally every time i even mention that i dislike something, people will go "wow does that mean u fucking hate me cuz i post that thing? ur a fucking stupid bitch and all ur opinions r wrong" LIKE ?? er.. no. just because i say i dont like certain characterizations of certain characters (the saiki k fandom is CRAZY about this cuz i can state an opinion on literally any character and a group of people will still go 'well only we're allowed to post our opinions about them because we're always right!1!1!'), or certain ship tropes (mentioned my hatred of toxic yaoi maybe once or twice on here months ago and people STILL get mad at me as if i said toxic yaoi lovers r evil or something), or certain ships, or WHATEVER, does not mean that i HATE the people who are posting them or that i think they shouldnt post them at all, NO, im just posting about my personal tastes on my personal blog and it would be extremely weird and hypocritical if i decided that i was the ONLY person that was allowed to do that,,

i think the only reason people assume that is because there are a lot of other people on here who ARE like that, and a lot of people toe the line between posting that they dont like something and posting that they think everyone who likes that thing is stupid, annoying, and wrong,, so i guess all i can say is, sorry for whatever made you make these assumptions but they arent true about me so plz leave me alone ʘ‿ʘ ur doing the same thing to me that ur accusing me of but i didnt do it in the first place so ur just actively being a dick for no reason

[bitchfitch]

I hate opening up a project I haven't touched in a few months because I was upset with how it was progressing only to find out it's not half as bad as I remember it being. What do you mean I have to give myself slack and not abandon things as soon as they get frustrating. That sounds fake as hell And yet this keeps happening.

[timeisacephalopod]

The type of Christian who asks atheists how they don't like, murder people on the reg are so funny to me because they seem to think their religion makes them the Peak of Morality when statements like "if you don't believe in God how comes you don't do X thing" all but outright state they have no idea why shit like murder and rape is bad except that God doesn't like it lmao. Like way to admit you have no intrinsic sense of morality and need to be afraid of a higher power to be a decent person, but I promise if you're not a piece of shit it's actually very natural not to want to do heinous evil shit all the time potential punishment from a higher power or not 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

[dailykugisaki]

Day 130 | id in alt

I have no idea how Fushiguro dosent stumble over himself and so I made him do it.

Also Kugisaki I saw her run fast as hell girl was basically skipping.

[rohirric-hunter]

Once I was reading a LotR fanfic in which, post-canon, Aragorn was talking to a young man from Harad who was absolutely terrified because he had been told that under the seven circles of Minas Tirith there were seven circles of torment where the Men of Gondor sent their enemies to suffer, and he tells Aragorn this, admits to someone he's terrified of the specifics of the lies he's been told in order to facilitate war between the two nations, and it was honestly fantastic worldbuilding, I was so on board, at least until the next paragraph where Aragorn looks him in the eye and says, "There are no circles of torment underneath Minas Tirith. First of all, from a structural standpoint it doesn't make sense. Large cavities in the ground underneath the city would cause it to collapse in on itself."

It's been at least 15 years and this still lives rent free in my head.