#(i say as i struggle to keep up with all my current projects and ideas)

[arolesbianism]

It is my new life purpose to add the most questionable song choices to the Jackie section of my oni playlist. Hey at least one of them is a rabbit universe Jackie song so I have sort of an excuse, but spoilers it's not keep your head up so uhhhhh lol

[moonstruckme]

request for Remus x reader, or poly!marauders x reader - A reader who seems more dominant in everyday life (managing group projects, generally independent, being a leader, etc.) maybe she's an older sibling or has parents that aren't all that responsible so she's had to take on that role.

But she settles into a more submissive energy with her partner(s) because she feels safe to do so, and lets them take charge. sorry if that's too specific! I hope it makes sense

no stress if this isn't your jam <3

Soft dom Rem you will always be famous <3 Thanks for requesting lovely!

modern au

Remus Lupin x fem!reader ♡ 651 words

“No, yeah, I think that’s a good idea.” You flash your boyfriend a terse smile as you come in the door, phone held between your face and your shoulder. Remus steps forward to take your bag from you, and you mouth a thanks as you set down your keys. “That sounds like it would work fairly easily with my current plan, I wouldn’t mind incorporating that. No—of course—no worries, I appreciate your help.”

Remus starts to ease you out of your jacket, and it’s a struggle to keep from sighing at the casual care in his touch as you continue talking to the person on the other line. “Okay, are you free to meet on Thursday to finalize things?” You listen. Nod. “Perfect. I’ll get in contact with the others and figure out a time that works.” 

Remus hangs your jacket over a chair and goes to sit on the couch, motioning for you to follow. You make a gesture for one second and take your planner from your bag, grabbing a pen and taking the cap off with your teeth. “So you definitely can’t do after four? No, that’s cool, I’m just making sure.” You scribble down a couple of time ranges. “I’ll get back to you with what the others say. Okay, thanks! Talk soon.” 

You end the call with a sigh, leaving your planner faceup on the table so you’ll remember to call the others later. Remus waits until you’re looking at him before patting his thigh. 

Something unravels in you as you walk over to him obediently, settling yourself in his lap. 

“Hi,” you say, wrapping your arms loosely around his neck and laying your head on his shoulder. 

“Hi.” A bit of bemusement makes its way into Remus’ tone at your obvious relief. He rests a hand on the small of your back. “Long day, sweetheart?” 

You hum. “Not bad. I just have this headache that won’t go away, so that made it feel longer.” 

Remus tuts, his other hand coming up to cup the back of your head protectively. “Why’s that, hm?” 

“Dunno,” you exhale, snuggling into him. “It’s getting better already, though.” 

“Hm.” He sounds dissatisfied. A second later, he’s holding you securely to his back, tipping you both forward as he reaches for the coffee table. You hear ice clinking. “Drink this.” 

Reluctantly, you take your face from his shoulder to accept the water bottle. It’s his, nearly full and ice cold. Remus strokes your hair as you sip from it, eyes soft with approval. 

“That’s enough managing people for today,” he says, not unkindly. “You’ve already done most of the work, you can send a text and let them coordinate their own meeting time.” 

You frown, taking your lips from the water bottle. “I would, but they’ll never actually respond if it’s in a group chat. Nobody replies if I don’t message them individually.” 

“They’ll have to figure it out.” He shrugs insouciantly. 

You feel your eyebrows pinch, another argument rising to your tongue, but it evaporates when Remus wraps a long-fingered hand around your jaw. 

He tilts your chin up towards him. “They shouldn’t need you to take care of everything in order for it to get done,” he says sternly. “If they start calling you again tonight, I want you to send them to voicemail. Understand?” 

“Yes,” you reply automatically, and Remus releases your chin as you sigh, letting you ignore the water bottle for a minute so you can fold yourself back into him. 

“Good.” He turns his head into yours, kissing your temple. “You were never going to get rid of this headache if you let them keep pestering you all night, dove. They’re like flies.” You laugh a little, and Remus scratches at your scalp rewardingly. “You can text them in a little bit. Let’s just stay here for a minute, yeah? Try to get you relaxed.”

[writersdrug]

Training for Two

Chapter 7. Motivated, Sir!

Masterlist

Summary: You struggle to keep up with your freelance work - Soap has the wonderful idea of bringing you and Riley to base.

Warnings: cursing, yeah.

Sure enough, Simon had requested your services about three days after you’d run into him in the café.

He had sent you an email the Tuesday following your run in. It was the same as before – short and to the point. leaving thursday at 0900. riley will need her meds at 1300. i’ll be on base for a few days for trainig, won’t be far. call if you need anything.

You showed up no later than twelve-thirty, your backpack hanging off one shoulder and a fresh bag of peanut-butter-bacon cookies in your free hand. You cooed and smiled at Riley as she all but attacked you as you entered through the front door. She seemed to have grown to miss you, which had your heart swelling with pride. People pleaser and a puppy pleaser, it seems.

After a dose of her medicine and a much-needed walk through one of the nearby parks, you crashed on Simon’s couch to do some freelance work. With your feet kicked up onto the coffee table (politely, with your socks on and your shoes by the front door), you tapped and clicked away at your laptop, fiddling with the edge of your sweatshirt as you concentrated.

You may have bitten off more than you could chew, as much as you hated to admit it. Prancing your skill online – boosting social media posts that boasted about your expertise in logo design and marketing had brought in more customers than you anticipated. Recognition was exciting, and you had taken on four clients at once; something you were currently and mentally kicking yourself for. The burnout had settled in quickly after you finished the first portfolio of logo samples, and you wanted nothing more than to take a nap with Riley as your blanket.

You sighed, sinking further into the couch cushions and running your hands over your face. You were dangerously low on motivation.

A few moments later, you were holding your phone, listening to each ring as you chewed on the edge of your sleeve. A bad habit, one that your mother had tried to break you of in your teenage years, but you stubbornly kept to it.

Soon, the phone picked up with a click. “Hey, babe.”

“Hi Tyler…” you said with a relived exhale. “You busy?”

“Eh-“ he grunted; you heard the sound of tinkering in the background, and the voice of the secretary at his main office. “I’ve got a moment. Everything alright?”

You sighed. “Yeah… nothing’s wrong, I’m just stuck.”

“How so?”

“Well” – you sat upright, crossing your feet under you and putting your laptop to the side – “I’ve finished the one project, and now I-“

“Which project?” Tyler interjected. You heard beeping, followed by one of his coworkers asking for a wire stripper.

“The logo design for that new attorney’s office off of main and thirty-fourth.”

“Oh! Yeah yeah, I remember.”

You cleared your throat. “Yeah, I finished that one. I have three other projects now, and one is due by the-“

“Three?! I thought you just had the one!”

A sigh escaped your lips. “I did, and then more clients flooded in, I just got ahead of myself-“

“Sweetheart- here, Max, hold this for a second- you got too much on your plate. You’ve already been house-sitting for that one guy, Sam-“

“-Simon.”

“Right, yeah. But, doll, maybe you need a break. Can you tell him that you need him to find someone else for now?”

You faltered. “You’re saying quit the house-sitting gig?”

“Not quit, I know Riley likes you – but maybe just have him get another guy to finish the week.”

“I can’t do that!” you said, a bit taken aback that Tyler of all people, Mr. Work-Till-You-Drop himself, would suggest that you let go of a project. “He can’t exactly find a different sitter right now, he’s not going to be home.”

“Alright, alright- what about dropping one of the logo gigs?”

“That would look bad for my business.”

“Well, babe-“ you heard someone call for him in the background of the call. “-give me a sec, Ron, it’s important- I don’t know what to tell you. You bit off more than you can chew, it sounds like.”

Your heart dropped into your stomach; why am I bothering him? He’s working, and this isn’t something he can exactly help with. “Yeah- I’m sorry. I’m just- I dunno. I need something to motivate me.”

“Don’t be sorry, sweetheart.” Tyler sighed; you could hear the pinch in his brow. “I’m not trying to be short with you, I… eh, I guess this wasn’t the best time, hmm? Tell you what: when Sam comes back-“

“Simon.” You said with a chuckle.

“Shit, sorry- when Simon gets back, and you’re back home, let’s have a day in, yeah? You pick a movie, I’ll get the takeaway, and have a look at your portfolio. Sound good?”

You smiled, the knot in your stomach easing up a bit. “Yeah, sounds like paradise.”

“Good.” Tyler said, and you could hear the smile in his tone. “I’ll make sure it is. Let your mind rest a bit, alright? And give Riley a kiss for me.”

“What, I don’t get one?”

“Yours are automatic!”

“Leavin’ me for a dog, are you?”

“I wouldn’t leave you for Aphrodite.”

You smiled. “I love you. But go back to work! I don’t want Ron to hate me.”

Tyler chuckled, the sound sending butterflies fluttering in your stomach. “Alright. Love you too.”

You ended the call, tossing the phone onto the cushion next to you. Why did I call him? He was at work – I knew that. He doesn’t even know anything about design. I could have texted him – or I could have just left him alone. Why would I even bother him with this? How could he have helped?

You groaned, closing your laptop and moving it to the coffee table. Looking across the room, you saw that Riley was no longer in her bed, her blanket partially spilling onto the floor next to it. She whined; you turned your head to find her sitting at the door. She met your gaze, licking her lips and tapping her feet anxiously on the floor.

“Do you need to go out?”

She whined again, impatient.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” you huffed, standing on your feet and stretching your limbs. She trotted over to you with a groan, then back to the door.

You followed her there, slipping on your shoes. You reached into the closet and grabbed her leash, leaning down to clip it onto her collar. She grunted and jerked her head back, taking a few steps away from you.

Confusion settled on your face. “C’mon girl, don’tcha want to go for a walk?”

She let out a few voofs, raising a paw and stomping it indignantly. You tried again, reaching out with the clip of the leash, but she darted away once more. She stood by the closet and barked shrilly, still staring at you.

This lasted for a few more minutes; you’d stand there, taking every woo and wuff that she threw at you. After a few moments of the following silence, you’d take a step towards her, holding up the leash with a cocked brow, and she’d huff and turn in a circle.

“I’m sorry I don’t speak awoowoo.” You said in frustration, putting your hands on your hips. “spreek je Nederlands?”

She huffed dramatically, lying down and resting her nose on her front paws. You sighed yourself and headed back towards the couch – she yipped, whining at you through her nose.

“What?” you asked, throwing your hands up. “I don’t know what you want!”

She barked back at you. Helpful.

You groaned. This wasn’t getting you anywhere. You went back to the couch and grabbed your phone, flopping stomach-first onto the cushions. Riley trotted over to your side and whined, sitting politely on the rug.

With a few clicks, Simon’s contact appeared on your phone; well, it was Riley’s face, her snout taking up most of the camera and her ears tucked back against her head as she had sniffed the lens in the moment. You chewed your lip. It’s not an emergency… but maybe he forgot to tell me about part of her routine? She hadn’t acted this upset the last time you were here… and she had certainly never indicated no when you got ready to take her outside.

You pressed the call button, putting your phone on speaker. Not half a ring had passed before Simon answered.

“Wha’s wrong? ‘S Riley ok?”

“N- hi, Simon – yeah, Riley’s ok. She-“

“Are you ok?”

You chuckled. “Yes, I’m fine. This isn’t an emergency.”

You heard him sigh, and quickly tried to deescalate the situation. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to worry you-“

“Don’t apologize,” he said, “ya did nothin’ wrong. I know you wouldn’t call if it wasn’t important.”

You laughed again. “Well, I don’t really know if it is or isn’t – I’m trying to take Riley out for a stroll, and she won’t go,”

“No?”

“No. I try to put her leash on and she runs away. She’s yapping at me though, like she’s got something to say.” You looked at her, reaching a finger to boop her nose.

You heard the faint sound of gunshots in the background of the call. You had half a mind to ask if he was in battle- war- whatever they called it- at the moment, until you remembered that he said he was training this week. “Ya sure she needs t’ go out?”

“She’s acting like she does.” You said, rolling onto your side.

He grunted. “Pain flarin’ up?”

“She’s not limping.”

“Biscuit?”

“She’s had her first daily.”

He sighed. “Beats me. I’d think she was-“

“Oi! LT!”

You listened closely, suddenly drawn to the commotion beyond the speaker. “Simon?”

“One sec, luv-“ he said quickly. “I’m busy, Soap-“

“Cap needs ye back oan th’ feld. One o’ the Jimmies hud o’ nice fall.”

“Fuckin’ wot?”

“One o’ the rookies collapsed.” Soap was now closer to the phone; close enough that you could hear he was out of breath. “Cap wants ye out there.”

“Tell him I’m busy.”

“Tell ‘im yer feckin’ self, ye dry piece o’ shite-“

Riley suddenly barked, making you jolt. She stood with her paws on the edge of the couch and staring at the phone.

“Awe, tha’ mah girl?” Soap said from the other line. “Mah Bonnie, yea? She miss me?”

“’M on the fuckin’ phone, Johnny.”

“Ah know, I’m talkin’ to the pup.”

You thought for a moment, as Simon and Soap bickered in the background. Maybe, Riley misses Simon’s coworkers? She used to work with them… judging on her reaction – panting and ears perked up as she listened to the conversation – you’d guess you were right.

“Hey, uh… Simon?”

‘- hm?” Simon halted his bickering with Soap at the sound of your voice.

“Does she maybe want to see your- team? Or Soap, at the very least?”

“Aye, she does.” Soap chimed in, making Riley whine. “Ya hear tha’? She misses ‘er ol’ uncle Johnny.”

“Bugger off, mate.” Simon grumbled.

You suddenly felt like you made a mistake even voicing your thoughts. “Sorry if it’s not a good idea, I just heard how she reacted to Soap’s voice, and, y’know – how she used to work with you all…” you chuckled at yourself. “Now that I think about it, I probably couldn’t even get on base, could I?”

“It would-“

“None o’ that keech!” Soap said, cutting off Simon for the umpteenth time. “Ghost, ye can tell the gate guards you’ll be expectin’ er. Or cap, he’ll vouch for ‘er. Want tae see my girl.”

You felt a bout of excitement roll through your veins. “I think that would be great! And I’d get to meet you all finally. I should know who Simon travels the world with, right?”

There was a moment of silence over the phone, save for the distant gunfire and the cadence of orders being called out. You wondered if you had said something wrong; ‘travel the world…’ it’s deployment, not a vacation. Why did I say that?

“Don’t see why not.” Simon finally said, and you sighed quietly.

“You sure?” you confirmed.

“It’s jus’ what the pup needs.” Soap said. “Probably misses ‘er other friends, too-“

“Jus’ head towards the naval base, n’ I’ll send you the address to the gate.” Simon said with a huff. “Tell them you’re here for Ghost.”

“Ghost…” you repeated.

“’S my callsign. Oh, and, uh- put ‘er harness on. She wears that to base, probably why she won’t take jus’ the leash.”

You smiled, heart fluttering a bit at the information. “Great! I’ll see you soon!”

“Drive safe.”

You bit your lip as the call ended, that warmth still bubbling within your chest. A thousand, fleeting questions circled within your head as you rolled onto your side, clutching your phone to your chest. Does he call everyone luv? What gave him the callsign “Ghost”? I wonder what his team is like… I wonder what Johnny- Soap?- is like. I wonder if they’re all as attractive as-

Riley barked; you yelped, body tensing as you were torn from your thoughts. She pawed at you, still standing on her two hind legs and yowling lowly in your direction.

“Alright, alright- let’s go!” you rolled off the couch, equally as excited as she was. She happily obliged to sit next to you when you grabbed the harness from the closet, slipping it over her head and latching the leash to its back. She then eagerly trotted to the door, tapping her feet anxiously and whining.

You stuffed your feet into your shoes (you hoped that a sweatshirt, leggings, and rain boots would be appropriate for bringing your client’s dog on a military base). You stepped out into the overcast day, locking Simon’s door behind you and shoving the key into your bra; excitement boiled underneath your veins as the two of you headed over to your car, right as your phone buzzed with Simon’s text.

Simon watched as your contact photo faded from the screen. His eyes hardened as he turned to Johnny – the bloke had a cheeky grin on his face, staring right back at his lieutenant. Simon wanted to grab him by his mohawk and swing him into the wall like a discus.

“Wha’?” Soap said innocently, shoulders shrugging with irreproachability. “I miss ‘er.”

“Ya don’t have nothin’ to miss, you wanker.” Simon snarled, stuffing his phone into his back pocket. “You’ve never met ‘er.”

“The dog, ya git.” Soap sighed. His eyes narrowed in amused suspicion. “Yer awfully protective o’ the lass, don’t ye think?”

Oh, Simon could have launched the Scot into next week. He knew what he was doing, the bastard. He knew Johnny was either going to try and pair you with himself, sweep you off your feet and charm you with his stupid blue eyes and bright smile – or, he was going to pitch you with his lieutenant. Simon didn’t like not knowing how to prepare himself: to either cockblock you and Johnny, or to refuse any advances Johnny made to him on your behalf.

Soap huffed, not intimidated in the slightest by Ghost’s dissociative, angry stare. “Calm doon, LT.” he said, shoving his shoulder with two, sturdy fingers. “She’s got a lad, aye? I jus’ want tae see Riley. I’ll leave your precious house-sitter alone.” He held a hand up and crossed a finger over his chest. “Scout’s honor.”

“You were never in Boy Scouts.” Ghost grumbled.

“Does it make a difference?” Soap said with a quirked eyebrow.

Simon sighed, leaving Soap on the training field to find Price. He had to let him know you’d be coming to base, or you’d be stopped at the gate and turned away – or worse, dragged off by the military police. It would be a surefire way of keeping you away from Soap, but it was also rather unhospitable. Riley wouldn’t be too impressed, either.

Still, Johnny had a point. Why was he fretting? You weren’t his.

“Jus’ keep an eye on the recruits. Be back in a moment.” He said over his shoulder.

“Aye, LT.” Soap responded: Simon could hear the grin on his face.

Smug bastard.

Next ->

Taglist (trying this again): @my-queen-rhaenyra-targaryen @jisungswiftie @sweet-tooth4you @kennyis-aloser @hyyyxr @lahniu @dory-98 @naradae @cum-tea-and-towels @boystepper @definitelynotaclown @your-wifes-boyfriend @ghostslittlegf @bossva @poppingaround @katzykat @mileyraes @chocolate-noodles @jupiternighties @sadlonelybagel @rorysbrainrot @reevesdriver @kingshitonly @ghost4love @lilyofhoon

[maklodes]

I feel like I barely have the right to get into “Star Wars would be so good if it were good” posting given that I haven’t actually watched VII-IX, but I keep thinking about the myriad plots and subplots that could follow VI, after the fireworks stop, all without slamming the reset button.

Like, as of Episode VI’s end, Emperor Palpatine, Darth Vader, and Grand Moff Tarkin are all dead, but much of the rest of the Imperial bureaucracy and military are still intact. Maybe there’s a legal chain of succession that establishes who’s next, but probably it’s pretty weak, because tyrants generally don’t like saying “you know who would benefit greatly if I were to ‘accidentally’ drink poisoned blue milk and die? That guy!” So there’s a likelihood of power struggles, different factions emerging among moffs and admirals. How would the Alliance respond to two moffs waging a brutal war against each other, extorting civilians to death for supplies, bombarding civilian population centers that are not logistically accessible enough for their side to extort but that they think the other side will, etc? Can the Alliance afford to intervene to help the innocents suffering in this conflict, or is it best to just let their enemies weaken themselves and clean up afterwards?

Meanwhile, some moffs and governors see the writing on the wall, and are approaching the Alliance and saying “Yes, I was a high official in the Empire, but I was one of the good ones, working within the system to make it as humane and decent as possible. Now I am preparing to join the New Republic, and preparing to hold free elections on my planet(s) (supervised, of course, by the erstwhile-Imperial bureaucracy under my control – who else is around that could competently manage such an affair?) Yes, there are a few incidents during my reign that can be classified as atrocities, but I can assure you that if anyone else in the empire had been in charge, they would have been more numerous and severe (anyone harsher than me would’ve been worse, and anyone gentler would’ve been force-choked to death by Darth Vader and replaced), so let’s just leave those in the past and work together toward a better future.” Can the Alliance accept such a defector on those terms? Can the Alliance afford not to?

At the same time, former members of the senate – dissolved at the beginning of IV – are saying “Alright! With that tyrannical emperor gone, we are ready to get back into the action and help rebuild the Republic,” while more radical members of the Alliance are like “no, FUCK those old senators. Those were the guys who elected Palpatine chancellor. Then they kept giving him more and more emergency powers. Then they voted to make him emperor. Then they stuck around as a rubber stamp Imperial Senate for like fifteen years legitimizing the Empire, before the emperor finally dissolved the senate. A few of them may be okay, but they are all on probationary status in the politics of the New Republic at best, and many of them should be charged with corruption/oath violation/etc and barred from politics and maybe incarcerated/executed.”

Some people might even question the whole idea of One Galaxy Government going forward. Sure, there are advantages to having a singular Republic/Empire coordinating things, but there are risks. Maybe local control – with the risk of the occasional local dictator, or local border war – is safer than putting all eggs into one basket? Coordinating the resources of a galaxy has proven useful in destructive massive scale projects like planet-killer battle stations. Is there a more productive use case for that much broad scale coordination? 

As more systems democratize and lift censorship and restrictions on holonet, you get paranoia and rumors going around that this or that office-seeking politician is the Next Palpatine. When a planet’s leading candidate for senator faces rumors of being a Dark Sider, the runner-up currently polling at 48% clears her throat and says “The threat of the Dark Side is too serious to be turned into a political issue, and unfounded rumors and partisan smears do nothing to help us re-establish our still-fragile democratic norms. At the same time, any credible allegations of Dark Side influence merit a thorough and independent investigation. After all, recent experience has shown just how destructive the Dark Side can be: whole inhabited planets got destroyed! Once we establish a transparent, impartial process to examine these claims, we can move beyond all this baseless speculation about my opponent (and the baseless speculation that the first anonymous rumors were traced to a holonet account belonging to my campaign’s chief of staff).” You could have HUAC / McCarthy hearings type shit.

You could have some genuine (aspiring) Dark Side guys – no one who knows the true Sith teachings, but maybe some force sensitives who see the force as a Will To Power thing. (The Jedi haven’t been abducting children who show force potential for decades, and the Sith had no room beyond two, so I guess force sensitives have mostly sorta been figuring out what they could of this stuff themselves for a few decades? Most of them are probably pretty weaksauce compared to trained Sith/Jedi like Yoda or Palpatine, but maybe they can influence weak minds and shit) You could have any combination of actual Dark Side influence and rumors: have some people correctly accuse real Dark Side guys, have Dark Side guys spreading false rumors that their innocent opponents are on the Dark Side, have two different candidates both being Dark force sensitives, spreading rumors about each other (or one spreading rumors, being a down and dirty political fighter, and the other refusing to stoop to that and going for the Stately Above the Fray vibe, but secretly being comparably ruthless), or (perhaps most common) rumors of Dark Side influence being spread in politics when no one involved is actually even Force sensitive let alone in touch with the Dark Side.

You could go a little deeper: some people in the aftermath of the Empire might think  that the Force – both the Dark and Light sides – has held the galaxy kind of kind of technical and moral cul-de-sac, accounting for the ways in which the whole setting combines backwardness and advancement:

Why is it that in spite of having overcome the light barrier many millennia ago and being able to build small planet-sized battle stations, they seem to have made negligible progress against senescence and death generally? Because the Force provides a frame in which you either embrace the Dark Side, in which case triumph over mortality is a personal achievement to be hoarded and lorded over your inferiors, or you adhere to the Light Side, in which case you reject the “unnatural abilities” of Dark immortality. Progress against mortality at a collective, civilizational level doesn’t make sense from either of those perspectives.

Why is it that in spite of apparently being fully sentient in many cases, droids are still treated as chattel property without rights? Why is it that they still seem to have widespread animal agriculture? Maybe because the Force doesn’t notice forms of sentience that have no or negligible midichlorian counts or force sensitivity or whatever. Obi-Wan could probably walk past a droid refurbishing facility where droids are getting reset to factory settings, or a slaughterhouse, and not feel any “disturbance in the force, voices crying out in terror and suddenly being silenced” etc, and when the Light Side is treated in some respects as the moral arbiter of the setting, and when a big part of the Light Side is “trust your feelings,” and when the “force feelings” don’t really apply to beasts or droids, they don't get a lot of consideration.

Why is it that the only visions of authority are somewhere on a spectrum from “centralized, despotic autocracy” (the Empire) to “decentralized, semi-feudal oligarchy” (the Republic, with a Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth-style weak senatorial authority, proliferation of local nobles like counts and princesses, etc, and, perhaps to an even further extent along that spectrum, the Confederacy of Independent Systems)? Maybe because it reflects  how the Force tends to structure itself: the Dark Side tends to concentrate power in the hands of a couple of megalomaniacs. The Light Side tends to distribute it across a broader order of Force-wielding elites, but still very rare as a fraction of the  population.

You might say that these ideas don’t really get to the essence of the core appeal of Star Wars, which is more like stuff like starfighter battles and lightsaber duels and such, but I’m not saying these themes would necessarily be debated in great detail to the exclusion of action and stuff. They just could be the reason for the lightsaber duels and starfighter battles and such. Consider: in Episode I, the pretext for a lot of the action was a dispute over tariffs. Stated baldly, I think that’s drier than anything I mentioned.

[1-800-c0sm1c]

꒰win it all !꒱

to build hype around the new season, your arrival to the games was kept a secret up until it went live, and some legends had more notable reactions than others.

character x legend!reader

includes crypto, octane, and mirage !

a/n : im sorry ive been gone but look i made you some contenttttt daddy made you your favorite open wide 🥳. im noticing a severe lack of apex fanfics rn so here is my contribution 🤲.

warnings : mentions of stalking (average crypto behavior), drugs (average octane behavior), & mentions of hooking up (you guessed it, average mirage behavior).

CRYPTO // TAEJOON PARK: 

crypto doesnt like surprises, period. its one thing if its mediocre like a birthday party, but a whole person was hidden under his nose and he had no idea? unacceptable.

in summary, youve shattered his ego simply from your presence. not cool.

hes not really known for looking approachable either, so unless youve got the balls or stupidity to talk to him, hell keep to himself and sulk. this sets back any plans he had in the back of his mind by a whole season.

when you introduce yourself to him on the dropship he practically ignores you, acting as if anything else is more interesting than this small talk.

"hi im y/n, ive heard a lot about you from mirage. nice to meet you!" he rolls his eyes, witt is always one to blabber about others.

you scoff at his response, "dont expect me to be as open and idiotic as elliott." he almost adds you to that list, but holds back on it. if anything lifeline has told him holds weight, you could be useful to get information from the syndicate.

"im crypto by the way." he continues, if he plays his cards right you could almost be worth his time.

getting paired with you and mirage was almost comical, its as if the games were trying to make his life as hard as possible.

you got along annoyingly well with mirage, but you seemed more hesitant when it came to crypto, which was truly bothered him. (it was not jealousy at all. he was not jealous whatsoever. nope, definitely not.)

hes struggling to interact with you, like he does with most of the other legends, but youre a different case due to how useful you could be to him. thats usually the reasoning he uses when he racks his brain for ideas to come across less mean without irreparably ruining his reputation.

as if his prayers had been answered, a few hours after your first game you appear in the doorway to his room with a piece of high tech equipment in your hand. but your expression is different from how it was before. you appear upset, how can you be angry with him already? youve barely interacted!

if you want to be pissy, so can he. "can i help you? he asks, annoyance in his voice. "im almost sure you can, brilliant hacker." you drop the equipment in front of him on his desk, distracting him from his current project. he scowls. "what exactly am i looking at here?" you roll your eyes. "you tell me, this is clearly yours right? found it in my room." 

he examines the object, looks like a hidden camera. "ive never seen this before, if you want me to fix it call someone else, im not tech support." he pushes it to the side, but youre not having it. "nuh-uh, you cant brush this off. i know youve created the cameras used to record the games, this has to be your tech!"

so you think hes stalking you? thats a good idea honestly, he wish he had thought of it first. "just because i created those doesnt mean i also designed this. looks like someone else wants to keep an eye on you. got anyone in mind?" you pause for a moment, letting his words sink in. why cant it just be an open and shut case?

"i have no idea, i just got here! is anyone else even knowledgeable enough to design something like this?" he shrugs. "looks can be deceiving." "will you at least help me figure out whos stalking me?" he wants to say no. he knows its bad news, especially for someone like him to get involved in. but its a great opportunity to get closer to you. closer to his end goal, and despite it truly not being the only reason, he decides its good enough for him. "i guess i can make time, tell me about your interactions since youve joined." 

from this point on, you and crypto get much closer, it feels like he knows everything about you. (maybe he does honestly 💀.)

but you can tell hes getting frustrated when it comes to the hidden camera, and you cant help but feel like a nuisance. 

on the surface, crypto looks like you are whats stressing him out. why hes angrier than usual, why hes drowning himself in his work. and in a way thats true, but not exactly.

in reality, hes more worried for your safety. your arrival was an entire surprise, so how could someone have infiltrated your room to begin with? he cant figure it out, and almost entirely forgets the original reason he wanted to get to know you. 

its no longer a matter of getting information, that can wait. he has all season after all. but someone else trying to watch you? he wont tolerate it, and wants it to be the first thing thats fixed, he likes you much better when youre not paranoid, not like him.

OCTANE // OCTAVIO SILVA:

HYPED!!! another legend is always exciting to octane, even more so when he gets lucky enough to be paired with them.

octavio can be a bit much at times, but you match his energy almost perfectly! 

dedication to the apex games, and genuinely having a great time, not finding him annoying??? he should ask if youre into hard drugs too at this point.

anyone who goes up against the two of you on a team together should fear for their lives. octane swears hes never had so much fun in a match before. (almost as much fun as id have if kings canyon was in the map rotation this season ☹.)

theres a voice in the back of his head that he cant shake, telling him youre someone sent from the syndicate to mess with him, or maybe something worse.

he doesnt want to risk making you upset with him (like some other legends) so he reluctantly keeps these thoughts to himself, but due to his online personality being so similar to his real self, you almost immediately notice a change.

you decide to confront octane after the match, and originally he completely disregards your questions.

"what are you on about, compadre? im fine, really!" but youre not having it, and octane knows youre not going to drop this so easily.

"i just cant help but think this isnt how you usually act outside of games." you shrug when he asks for your reasoning of pressing on. "well how would you know? you just got here." he chuckles. "which i think is exactly why youre hiding things from me. i understand though, its hard to trust someone you just met. i only had an outsiders perspective up until a few hours ago."

"thats exactly whats so scary about you amigo. you seem like youre some fuckin syndicate spy!" "why? because we get along?" octane sighs. maybe having a legend who understands him is a bad thing. its easier to justify someone who hates him, theres plenty reason to. but like him? enjoy his company? hes confused, to say the least.

hes frantically reaching for one of his stims, if his mind is going to be racing so frantically, the rest of his body might as well do the same. "lets leave this here for now, yeah? ive got some videos to film!" he gets up quickly, but stops dead in his tracks when you offer to help him with his stunts. he whips around back over to you. "you sure?" you nod with a smile that might make him more energetic than any stim could. "alright cmon cmon cmon! i hope you known how to hold a camera, if you miss any good shots im gonna be pissed!"

rumors start about octanes elusive camera operator, all kinds of misinformation spreads too, some of it crazier than others. 

you personally find it funny, sometimes tempting the viewers by almost flipping it around to show your face, but youre stopped by octane and his ridiculously fast reflexes everytime.

"hey hey amigo no need to ruin the mystery! plus you totally just didnt film that awesome stunt i just did! what am i paying you for!?" 

you try your best to stop yourself from laughing, but at this point youre sure it must be obvious its you behind the camera, youre just going along with the "mystery" because octane asked you to by whispering in your ear that it "increases his interaction" or whatever influencer bullshit. (you were more focused on his voice than what he was saying tbh 🧍.)

the other legends are sick of you two at this point, and are just about ready to expose the "secret" to get octane to shut up 😭. when i say you guys are always together doing stupid shit i mean ALWAYS!!

MIRAGE // ELLIOTT WITT:

a flirt wbk. expect to be invited to lots of yacht parties.

mirage is known to have a very welcoming aura, and you noticed this the second you first interacted on the dropship. (anyone wanna take me out? come find me 🤭.)

you guys are on the same team for tdm, and he is almost constantly by your side.

someone sneaks up behind you? hes already sending a decoy their way so you can get the upper hand.

in case you miss? no worries, hes right behind you with pinpoint accuracy. (talk about a great first impression.)

you guys absolutely crushed the opposite team 50-15, and mirage hurriedly rushes over to you the second the match is concluded to invite you to his celebration party that night.

youre more surprised he has the energy to still keep going after such an intensive match, and you barely get the chance to say maybe before hes walking away excitedly.

uh, actually i might sit this one out-" "cool, cool, cool. ill see you tonight!"

lets just say things get… interesting on the mirage a trois 😀.)

you hooked up on the boat okay, youre not the first (and might not be the last either.)

parties werent necessarily your thing, but after elliott had practically won the game for you today, you figured showing up was the least you could do to return the favor. you were honestly just hoping the yacht didnt blow up like youd heard about his other ones doing…

you arrive way later than everyone else in hopes that you arent the first person there, but your current situation is almost just as awkward as everyone assumes you managed to get lost on your way here. (as if you could miss mirages yacht if you tried…) however, you probably did look just as lost as everyone assumed you were while trying to find mirage in the sea of decoys and other party guests.

when you finally stop getting bamboozled and find the real mirage, you try to explain you were only stopping by out of politeness, but hes not having any of it. "what do you mean youre leaving already? weve gotta make up for all the partying time lost while you werent here!" he hands you a drink and leads you to a table with crypto and wattson, who seem to have just had an… important conversation interrupted with your presence.

"if theres anyone you wanna get to know in the games, other than me of course, these are the legends!" youre almost amazed at how mirage chooses to ignore the awkward atmosphere hes created, and manages to smooth it over in record time as well. crypto looks as annoyed as ever, meanwhile wattson attempts her best at a conversation with the group, and you almost wish you never showed up in the first place.

‘almost’ is the key word here, you knew deep down you didnt really have anywhere else to be, and going along with whatever such an attractive legend says was surely better than staying in your dorm room and missing out on a night of fun. which is exactly why when elliott leaned closer to your ear and said something that definitely wasnt pg-friendly, you downed your drink and made quick goodbyes to his friends before leaving to a secluded area of the yacht with the party host himself. 

i think by now the other legends are just waiting for you two to finally announce theres something between you. 

everyone, and i mean everyone seems to know, and i swear rampart is one more flirtatious comment away from exposing your corny asses during the next match.

however, youre hesitant. youre still incredibly new to the games, isnt it odd for things to be moving so fast?

sure, elliott is great, but you cant help but have an anxious feeling in your stomach, and making the mistake of looking at comments online surely isnt helping either.

mirage noticed your shift in behavior immediately, hes been around you more than any of the other legends, and he expects to be the first to hear of whats troubling you (if youre okay with it, of course).

he might not seem like it at first glance, but mirage really is a great listener. despite your first impressions of him making him out to be well… a party-loving flirt, he has so many more layers to him than whats on the surface level.

when he gets serious, hes not cracking his usual jokes, although hes still got his awkward charm. 

"i just… feel like were moving too fast. its only been a month since ive joined the game after all…"

he thinks for a moment before responding calmly, "well i mean, if you wanna take things slower, all you had to do was ask. besides we have all the time in the world! as long as you dont have some secret plan to leave the games or something, than were fine!" you smile at him.

okay, maybe he does still joke a little bit, put i promise its fine in context 😭😭.

can you tell i like crypto (especially jealous crypto) a totally normal amount 😦 totally not inspired by the mcc song by derivakat 🫶

[aspoonofsugar]

About You, About Me

Jaune: What about you?! It's all about you!

This line is what the episode is about in a nutshell. As a matter of fact it conveys 2 ideas central to the whole situation:

1 - The "you" Ruby is talking about is different than the "you" Jaune means.

Ruby is asking about herself as a person, while Jaune speaks about her as an ideal. This dychotomy is the crux of both their current situations. Ruby has been lving as the embodyment of an ideal, so now she struggles to express how she feels in a healthy way. Jaune is instead trying to hide who he is behind the ideal of a hero.

So, Ruby wants to be seen as a person, while Jaune as a hero. Interestingly, both fail, as WBY's reactions to them make clear:

WBY immediately understand Jaune's pain and can see through his very thin (paper-thin I would say) facade.

WBY fails to pick up on the many red flags Ruby has been showing throughout the whole volume. They try to address Penny's death and her frustration on a couple of occasions, but never really go deep.

2 - Jaune is lashing out at Ruby, but he is really projecting on her his own frustrations.

This is made clear by the rest of the conversation:

Jaune: On that bridge, I was the only one, who could do it... I was the only one! And I... And now I have to live with it forever, in here or back home.

It is all your fault! It is all my fault! Jaune just keeps swinging between these 2 extremes. It is exactly like when in Mistral he goes on a rampage against Cinder, but the one he really hates is himself. There he lashes out at the villain, here he lashes out at the hero. The villain is a monster, the hero just could not live up to her role.

Ruby on her part does exactly the same. To be specific, she lashes out on everybody, but I would say she does so in 2 distinctive ways.

BLAKE AND JAUNE - STOP BEING LIKE ME!

Ruby: Shut up... Don't do that... Just don't.

The fight ends with Ruby telling Blake to stop trying to be positive. This complements her previous outburst directed at her (and Yang):

Ruby: Gotta stay positive, right?! Smiles all around!

Ruby can't stand how Blake is behaving because it reminds her of how she is supposed to feel. And she doesn't feel it anymore.

Thematically, Blake has been stepping into Ruby's role since the beginning of the volume:

I would not say she has substituded Ruby as the leader. Still, she is being the optimistic one, the idealistic one, the hopeful one. She realizes they are in a fairy tale and is enthusiastic about it. She knows the right definition of what being a Huntress means. She is Ruby's past idealistic self and Ruby can't stand it. Ironically, our Black Beast is now more optimistic than our Little Red.

Which is why both moments Ruby shares with Blake and Yang past volume are now bittersweet:

Blake: I know you don’t always know what to do, but that’s never stopped you from doing something. I was like that as a girl, but time and… a lot of other things, took their toll on me. Then I wasn’t sure if that kind of girl could actually survive in the world… until I met you. It was a little strange at first because you were younger, but I’ve always looked up to you, Ruby. And I still do.

Yang: You were being optimistic. Look, blind optimism isn’t great, but no optimism means we already lost. We need hope. We need to take risks.

Sure, everybody loves Ruby because she is optimistic and pure and inspiring... but what when she can't be it anymore?

This episode addresses precisely this and takes Ruby and Blake's current foiling to its extreme conclusion:

Blake: Then we won't run this time.

Blake charges into battle to protect strangers, while Ruby runs away from her loved ones.

If Blake reminds Ruby of her past, Jaune is a spitting mirror image of Ruby's current self. This is why she doesn't even talk to him directly, but keeps mentioning him:

Ruby: What about me? No time, right? Gotta get home! Gotta help Jaune! Gotta find someone, who isn't just going to screw everything up!

Ruby: I'm sorry, is this a bad time? Are we supposed to be mourning Jaune's make believe friends?!

Notice the 2 references to time. Ruby, just like Jaune, feels she has no time. It is just, Jaune feels he has not enough time to save everyone, while Ruby feels she has not enough time for herself. No time for others to care and nurture her. This is what she is trying to convey.

Similarly, the remark about Jaune's make believe friends is cruel, but it has definately to do with Ruby's own very real lost friend:

The one she has yet to mourn. The one nobody is mentioning anymore because everybody is too focused on other things. So, yeah, why should they all be mourning a bunch of afterings they know nothing about? When Ruby herself did not even take the time to properly mourn Penny?

Throughout the whole episode,Jaune (unwillingly) steals Ruby's spotlight and caters everyone's attention on himself.

He's obviously been through a lot. We can be frustrated later. Right now, Jaune needs us. And we need him. We just can't count on him.

While Blake says so, the one in focus is Ruby because this phrase is actually about her. Except nobody realizes it. Nobody (or almost ;)) notices she is struggling.

This pattern keeps going throughout the whole episode:

Weiss and Jaune insist Ruby should just grab her weapon and fight like always

Weiss aka Ruby's partner chooses to assist Jaune instead of her. Symbolically, even the Walker that almost kills Ruby is the one Weiss and Jaune launch in the river while they are fighting

When Ruby lets Crescent Rose fall, Yang's question to her is cut off by the paper town being floaded, which leads to everybody comforting Jaune

Even Ruby's own outburst is overshadowed by Jaune's one, which leads to Ruby finally leaving

All Ruby wants is for someone to look at her properly and empathize with her. Still, everybody has been too focused on their own feelings and losses. At the same time, Ruby herself has been refusing to open up with her friends for several volumes now. Everybody believes she is alright because she has always repressed her negative feelings, so nobody really knows she has any.

Everybody thinks she is Blake, when she is actually Jaune.

WEISS AND YANG - LOOK AT ME, LOOK AT ME!

You don't need me anymore No, you don't see me anymore I'm alone in this war I am a trap door

Ruby lashes out at Blake and Jaune because they are like her. When it comes to Yang and especially Weiss, instead, she is angry because they don't realize her pain.

Yang is too caught up in her new love life to notice her little sister needs help. Or at least, this is what Ruby thinks tbh because there is not that much evidence of this in the story. It is just that when you feel very low, you can end up resenting others for their own happiness. And this is what happens with Ruby and Bumbleby:

Ruby: Good for you, by the way. We are all soooo happy for you.

Weiss is too caught up in her own pain and grief to realize how much her partner needs help. Even in this episode, when she sees Ruby has not Crescent Rose, Weiss bitterly reprimands her. Just like she did at the market. Not only that, but after Ruby has made clear she is absolutely not okay by letting Crescent Rose fall... all Weiss has to tell her is to help support Jaune.

Weiss: It's what they wanted. Right Ruby? Ruby: Why are you asking me? Because I am the leader? Because I am just supposed to have something to say? Cause I don't.

Nobody looks at Ruby or notices her low spirits... well, actually someone does... a small soul ; )

RED HOOD AND LITTLE

Ruby leaves and the only one she has left is Little. Her new friend. Her Ever After's guide. Little is the only one this episode who notices Ruby is off. And they are also a lot how Ruby used to be when the series starts. Little is someone who sees her and also someone like her.

It is going to be interesting how Little will impact Ruby going forward. Especially because we might get some new Little Red Riding Hood's references this volume.

Ruby leaves her family/loved ones/home and enters a wood alone. Where is she going? Maybe she just wants to go back home:

Yang: Return home, eh?

And yet, the woods are dangerous and full of wolves, who want to eat our Little Red Riding Hood:

And just like with the Hound aka another representation of the Big Bad Wolf... the monster hides a person:

In general, the situation is the reversed one of volume 6:

There Ruby enters the woods, discovers dangerous things, but also meets a mentor figure who teaches her something about her Silver Eyes. She is able to inspire everyone to move on and steps in the role of leader.

Here Ruby enters in this strange new world and can't find an ounce of optimism. They are in a literal fairy tale and she doesn't give a crap. The same girl, who started volume 7 eager to explore Atlas after having crossed a whole continent on foot.

In any case, I am curious to see where we are going with Ruby. Especially because she might very soon have a meeting with the true Neo, aka her Shadow. Little as the Little of her Red Hood and Neo as her shadow and the wolf. Probably both ingredients are needed to see where Ruby is going in the future.

Speaking of Neo, there is this:

Yang: But that's... those were more than her usual tricks. They eat and growl and... how has she gotten so powerful?

Yang openly questioning Neo's new powers make me thing there is more than just a semblance evolution. The power-up happening in the Land of Darkness makes me thing it might have something to do with it. Darkness in Jungian psychology is the Shadow and the Repressed. What if this land lets you tap into your buried potential? For better or worse?

Scratched through the surface And you found a key Unlocking what you thought was safe inside a box But it's somehow been set free (Finally)

THE FALL OF ATLAS- ONCE AGAIN

So far, the protagonists have experienced the fall of Atlas twice now. The first time at the market. The second time at the paper town.

In general, the 2 episodes clearly parallel each other. To better say, the paper town is an escalation of the market.

Both times WBY and Jaune fight Neo's Jabberwalkers, while Ruby freezes up. Both times Ruby is reprimanded for apparently spacing out when she is experiencing psychological distress. Both times the protagonists feel as if they are living Atlas fall once again. And yet:

Neo's presence is made clearer, as if we are building a climax toward a final meeting with her. The real her.

Ruby consoles Weiss at the market, but refuses to console Jaune at paper town.

Ruby buries her feelings at the market, but explodes here.

The Rusted Knight is introduced as a dependable hero and a saviour at the market, but Jaune is revealed as a broken and grieving person here.

The most interesting thing is that when it comes to the Fall of Atlas specifically the 2 characters in focus are Weiss and Jaune:

This fits the foiling set up in the Ponder Storm mirror gallery. There we see how they both are still struggling over what happened in Atlas.

Weiss thinks about her Kingdom, her people and how they risked their homes without gaining anything.

Jaune thinks about Penny and his role in her death.

Both can't forgive themselves for failing to stop Cinder and to save Penny. This makes sense considering how they are the last 2 to fall and the ones who hold on the longest. They were both blooming in Atlas and were in very positive moments of their life. And yet, last volume's climax changed things. They were brought down when they were at their strongest... so what can they really accomplish?

And yet, even if they clearly blame themselves, they end up lashing out on others, as a coping mechanism (even if in different degrees). This volume both are shown particularly rude, sassy and cynical, in ways they usually are not. Or at least not anymore and not as often. The result is that they both enter into a conflict with Ruby. Weiss's insensitivity and ignorance of Ruby's feelings coupled with Jaune's exploding at her are among the reasons why Ruby leaves.

It is clear the dynamic among Weiss, Jaune and Ruby is going to be important for the resolution of this volume and for all 3 their character arcs. Especially, there is still something that hasn't been addressed:

I thought this episode was perfect for the reveal Jaune killed Penny. And yet, it doesn't happen. Which makes me wonder when this truth is gonna come out and how it will impact Ruby, Jaune and Weiss's dynamic. What is sure is that Jaune and Weiss clearly have a role to play in this volume's climax and in Ruby's arc.

WEISS - SNOWHITE, SNOW QUEEN, SNOW ANGEL

Weiss: Then, who does that leave us with? It's obvious we need someone to guide us or we can end up throw back in time or killed by the tree or worse.

Weiss keeps looking for someone to look up to, to guide her, to console her and to support her. This is not wrong per se, but hilariously Weiss is the one who is probably the most put together compared to the characters she wants to depend on.

She opens up to Ruby about her loss. There is nothing wrong in this, but we as viewers can really see it should be the other way around. She should be the one Ruby can lean on. Even in this episode, when it comes to support Jaune, she asks for Ruby's help. Now, she doesn't really need to. She can say something kind to Jaune by herself and neither Blake nor Yang ask Ruby to butt in. Weiss does and, as little as it is, this is what sets Ruby off. Because once again Ruby is asked to ignore what she feels for someone else's sake. Even if Weiss and the others can really handle the situation on their own.

This is why Ruby calls out Weiss specifically this episode:

Ruby: Gotta find someone, who doesn't screw everything up!

Something similar happens with Jaune, as well:

Yang: And when did you get so... Weiss: Mature...

This is both ship-teasing and a joke, but it hides an important truth. Notice that Weiss doesn't say "handsome" or "hot", but mature. Jaune is an adult, he is Weiss's childhood hero, so he must be dependable. And yet, he is not because he is still RWBY's old awkward friend and he has spent years alone with his guilt. Weiss should understand better than anyone else why Jaune isn't well. I mean, she was there when Penny died. She outloud states Penny sacrificed herself, so I think she knows what Jaune had to do. And yet, her reaction this episode to Jaune's predicament is this:

Weiss: But how? He's clearly not... all there.

Just like with Ruby, she makes a snappy remark, which is heard by Jaune and this starts a discussion and escalates an already difficult situation.

I don't say this because I think Weiss is a monster or a bad person, obviously. She is clearly suffering as well and really means no harm. Still, it is important Weiss stops looking only at herself. She failed to save Atlas, but she can still save her friends. She has the inner strength and the wisdom to succeed:

CC: I am talking about you, Wise Huntress.

It is through helping others that she will move forward from her loss. Just like Jaune did it in volume 5 by saving her.

JAUNE - HERO, VILLAIN, MAIDEN

Jaune is instead the opposite of Weiss. He tries to overcome his grief over Penny's death by trying to help other people. I mean, it worked with Pyrrha in Mistral, right? So, why shouldn't it work here? Sorry Jaune, but that coping mechanism is not functional anymore because your past self has been shattered:

And yet, Jaune refuses to let go of the heroic self-image he has worked so hard to built. Basically, he has regressed, as well and is stuck here:

Jaune: I don't want help! I don't want to be the damsel in distress! I want to be the hero!

Jaune's arc has always been about integrating with the anima, aka his most feminine parts. He refuses them, but it is through them that he will eventually become the hero he wants to be. He needs to accept he is a damsell in distress to be the hero. Even more so, to truly complete his journey he needs to become a symbolic maiden. Only in this way, he will be complete. He will truly be himself. After all, he alludes to the very famous Maid of Orleans ;)

So, right now Jaune is once again refusing his anima and this is why the once promising hero has turned into a toxic version of himself. He thinks he is protecting the paper pleasers, but he has actually trapped them. He is not the one saving them, but they are the ones saving him by offering him a coping mechanism to keep himself together:

Weiss: Then why do you care so much about this village? Jaune: Because I can actually protect these people!

They are pleasing him in a relationship, which is honestly detrimental for both parties. Jaune protects them, yes. Still, he also stops them from evolving. The same is true the other way around. The paper pleasers are keeping Jaune functional, but they are also stopping him from making any real progress.

This is why after years Jaune is still a prisoner of the Ever After. It is because (obviously) the way out one way or the other has to do with the tree. And yet, Jaune keeps avoiding it. Just like he is avoiding any real change.

This is because "changing" is a risk and a risk means you can't be sure if things are going well or badly:

A new me, I am ready, but who will I find?

And you know what else is a risk?

Weiss: Trust is a risk

Interesting...

Jaune: Afterlings are all either too clever, too stupid or too crazy to trust!

And who is the last person Jaune trusted exactly?

Penny: Trust me...

Jaune is clearly trying to "fix" what happened to Penny through the Afterlings, but he is wrong. There is no fixing the past this way and what he obtains is just that he is making people suffer for no reason. Not only that, but his stubborness puts the paper pleasers in real danger:

If the Jabberwalkers get them, Jaune's friends would never ascend. There is no escaping death, one way or the other.

Jaune needs to accept this and he is actually starting to accept it. Symbolically, the day after he finally reunites with RWBY, the time starts moving once again. After years of delusions, Jaune starts facing what he has done. His delicate stability, which is symbolically represented by a paper world evaporates and dissolves into water (this episode starts with fire and ends with water > 2 elements linked to alchemy and transformation).

He starts the episode claiming he is fine:

Jaune: This isn't crazy. I'm not crazy.

He ends the episode admitting he isn't:

Jaune: I'm sorry. I know I am not okay. I know I am not right.

And even asking himself the key question:

Jaune: What am I supposed to be?

What are you? Only by facing this question head on Jaune can hope to finally evolve. Only by letting fo of his armor, which is rusted already, he can hope to find his new more refined self. A hero, who is also a maiden.

GRIEF

It seems that after the first 5 episodes exploring the 5 stages of grief, we are getting calls out to them in different ways:

Ruby bargains her emblem in order to help her friends. Another way to run away from Summer, but also to sacrifice her pain for others. She failed to get the ingredients in time, so obviously now she has to sacrifice something so personal, like her mother's memento, right?

Ruby, Weiss and Jaune walk in a mirror gallery, which reflects their grief and fail to discuss it. They didn't even properly discuss Penny's death and how it happened. They are negating it on some level.

Ruby and Jaune explodes into anger this episode and in this way they can finally both start their self-actualizing journeys.

We'll see where it goes...

ASCENSION VS DEATH

Personally, I think we need an exploration of this dychotomy on a thematic level.

On the one hand ascension is clearly a metaphor for death. However, the Jabberwalker, which is clearly a creature of Darkness seems to be offering a different idea of death. More similar to the one the characters have. What is the difference? What is ascension really? And why does the Jabberwalker embody something different?

This a very interesting mystery thematically speaking and I am curious to see how it is solved.

Is it about introducing 2 different flavors of Destruction?

Cancellation (death)> negative

Transformation > positive

We'll see...

On another note, the reveal of Jaune's role in the paper pleasers' town gives more context to the Cat's dislike for our Knight. The CC's role is to lead the Afterlings to the Tree, but Jaune goes in the way of this. Symbolically, this makes them antagonists.

MISCELLANIA

Here come some miscellania thoughts:

The time motif is interesting. This episode specifically times keeps being mentioned by Jaune and Ruby. Jaune keeps saying they don't have time and that he is late. He also keeps asking what time is it. Ruby is annoyed there is no time and sarcastically asks if that is a bad time. In general, Jaune and Ruby are also opposites when it comes to time. Jaune is currently a man who has spent too much time alone with his trauma. Ruby is a child who has had not enough time to properly process hers.

Jaune's allusions just keep multiplying. He is the White Knight in Alice (also that character sings a song whose alternate title is litterally The Aged Man :P). He also fits the Hatter to an extent in how he killed time (aka spent years alone making no progress and broke the time fruit). And now he is also the White Rabbit.

Speaking of Jaune... meta-narratively the Rusted Knight is very interesting. Judging by the girls' enthusiasm and by Jaune's own excitement when he mentions realizing he was that character, the Rusted Knight is surely portrayed very positively... And yet, Alyx poisons him. I think @harostar suggested what we saw in this episode might offer us a glimps of why. Jaune might have been controlling to Alyx and Lewis and Alyx may have felt trapped by him. And yet, the story still portrays Jaune as a hero. If Alice wrote the story or if Jaune was really that terrible to her and her brother, then why isn't he portrayed as a villain? This question is interesting and seems to confirm Alyx might not be the writer of the story... At the same time, Jaune might have failed to leave up to a fairy tale- standard. However, if the writer still felt to write him as a hero, maybe he did better than what he thinks.

This is the third time Ruby hallucinates three people. The first one when she falls (Oscar, Yang and Penny), the second one in the Blacksmith's place (Penny, Alyx and Summer), the third one while fighting the Jabberwalker (Cinder, Penny and Salem). Clearly they relfect Ruby's deteriorating mental state. The first time, she isn't hallucinating, but seeing Neo's illusions. The second time she is subjected to the Ever After's strange magic. This time, though, she is having a straight out panic attack. In all this, Penny is fittingly present all three times. Ruby needs to properly mourn her or she will never move on.

WBY's discussion about the Tree this episode is interesting because we have: Blake (destruction) believing the Tree is rebirth, Weiss (creation) being wary of the dangerous power of the Tree and Yang (knowledge) wanting to know more. Fittingly, Ruby (choice) is silent and so they fail to reach a resolution.

I think this volume might introduce a key theme, which will probably keep going in later volumes. The idea of need vs wants in a reverse sense. Jaune and Ruby both want to be needed to the point Ruby fears that now she isn't needed anymore, she is going to be left behind. It is the same as Yang's conditional love idea (see the Auction)...I think the resolution is going to be that you don't love people because you need them, but because you want them in your life. It is the same concept expressed by Blake last volume... Others are just a part of you... you don't stay with them out of codependency or need, but because you are happy and wish to be with them.

[captainsophiestark]

No Way To Know For Sure Part 2

Daniel Sousa x Reader

Masterlist - Part 1 - Join My Taglist!

Written for my personal fic writing challenge for 2024, Sophie's Year of Fic! Featuring a new fic being posted every Friday, all year long :)

Also written for @ghostofskywalker as a part 2 to the fic you let me adopt a while ago! I've had this in my drafts since all that AI stuff and I'm happy to have rediscovered and finished it 😄 Hope you like it!

Fandom: Marvel

Summary: Now that you've decided to move to LA with Daniel, there's a few loose ends left to tie up in New York.

Word Count: 2,174

Category: Fluff, Humor

Putting work into an AI program without permission is illegal. You do not have my permission. Do not do it.

I sighed dramatically as I sared straight ahead out the window, watching all the people bustling around the streets and the familiar, giant buildings hovering over them. I'd been gone for some time now, but New York hadn't changed.

Jarvis, currently in the driver's seat of the car, was positively buzzing, and I could tell he was struggling not to say anything. Even the great city of New York couldn't keep me distracted from all the ridiculous energy he was projecting.

"Alright, Mr. Jarvis, spit it out," I said, at last turning from the window to look at my friend. He glanced at me, lips pursed tight to try and hold back a smile before he had to turn his gaze back to the road.

"I'm sorry, it's just... I must admit, I'm rather excited. Since Mr. Stark has been spending more time in Los Angeles, I've missed seeing all of you here in New York. Having you regularly in Los Angeles as well as Rose and Chief Sousa... well, it will be a delight."

A smile made its way onto my face despite my best effots. I'd wanted Daniel to drive me in to the office this morning to put in my transfer request for the LA office, but he had a meeting with an informant he couldn't move. I hadn't really wanted to resort to Jarvis, only because I knew he wouldn't be able to stay calm about my decision, but now I had to admit I was happy to be here with him.

"It'll be wonderful to get to see more of you too, Mr. Jarvis," I said with a smile. "You, me, Ana, and Daniel should set up a regular double date."

"Oh, that would be lovely!" Jarvis turned to give me a big smile as we at last pulled up in front of the New York SSR. He hopped out and ran around to open my door for me, beating me to the punch of opening it myself, something we'd turned into a bit of a competition. "Ana will be delighted at the idea too, I'm sure."

"Maybe we can even invite Howard," I said, my voice serious even though I was cackling in my head. I got out of the car and stood, smirking at Jarvis' less than enthusiastic expression as I continued. "He can bring along whoever he's brought home with him on any given week."

"That may be the single most horrifying suggestion I've heard in my entire life."

I cackled, clapping Jarvis on the shoulder as I walked past him and towards the entrance to the "telephone company".

"Thanks for the ride! I promise I won't let Howard crash any of our couples' nights, unless he finally gets a girlfriend who sticks around for more than a few weeks."

"At this point in Mr. Stark's life, a few days would be impressive," he called after me. I laughed, then turned back at the door to give Jarvis a smile.

"I'll see you back in LA!"

"I'm looking forward to it!"

I smiled and waved before finally heading through the door and back into the familiar hallways of the New York SSR. Daniel would be picking me up later, after I got everything sorted out for my move, and then who knew when I'd next be back in this place and this city. We had plenty of friends here and the other half of the SSR, so it's not like I'd never see the city again, but for the first time since I'd started working here I had no idea when I'd next be back. I tried not to let it get to me, but stepping into the currently-empty bullpen of the place I'd spent so much time in the last few years drove the knife in a little harder.

I'd intentionally arrived before most of the other agents got here, hoping to avoid a lot of hubub about my transfer request. No matter how nostalgic I felt being here, my decision had been made. I loved Daniel and the life I'd started building with Daniel in LA enough that nothing could make me want to leave it. Not even my favorite pizza place on the way between here and my former apartment.

"Well well well. Look what the cat dragged in."

Of course, I couldn't get away with avoiding Chief Jack Thompson, especially not when I had to turn my transfer request papers in to him. He came striding out of his office, a massive grin on his face as he crossed the bullpen towards me.

"Long time no see, Agent."

"I saw you two weeks ago, Jack."

"Yeah, but in LA. You've been on-loan for a while. I haven't seen you as my agent, in New York, in a long time."

I just rolled my eyes. "Yeah, well, enjoy the next half hour then, because as soon as these papers are finalized, I'm officially Daniel's agent."

"Now hold on a minute, I have some serious concerns about you leaving that we need to address before I finalize anything. I mean, is it really appropriate for a chief to be dating one of his own agents? Sounds like a disaster waiting to happen if you ask me."

"Jack. You are the one who sent me there, you meddling mother hen, with the exact hope that this would happen. I will literally fight you in the middle of the bullpen if you want to use that against me now."

Jack held up his hands. "Alright, relax. Your transfer's basically already finalized, I just need your signature next to mine. Then you can go run off into the sunset with Sousa and leave the greatest city in the world behind like it's nothing."

"Alright, you went to Ithica for college. At least I'm leaving for another interesting city, even if it's not as good."

"At least we can agree on that last part."

I snorted, but I couldn't totally keep a smile off my face either. Jack and I had actually kind of become friends in the past few months, especially in the wake of Daniel leaving, and I was surprised to find a little ping of sadness in my chest at the thought of leaving him behind with the rest of this city. If you'd told me a few years ago I'd be missing Jack Thompson, I would've laughed in your face.

Jack pulled the transfer papers out of a file on the nearest desk where they'd apparently been waiting for me all morning, setting them down in front of me. In turn, I handed him the papers I'd filled out since I last saw him, then glanced at what was in front of me. True to his word, they only needed my signature to be finalized.

"We're gonna miss you around here," he said, his voice unusually serious. I glanced up to find him holding out a pen to me, a small smile on his face. "Seriously."

"...I'm gonna miss you too, Jack."

We held each other's gaze for a few moments, maybe the first time we'd had a sincere exchange in my entire time working here. Finally, he cleared his throat, looking away as I finally took the pen from his hand.

"Alright, that's enough of that sappy crap. You bring a box to clean out your desk? I don't want to have to waste agency time clearing out whatever garbage you left in there before you went to LA."

"Don't worry, I've got a plan for all my leftover trash and scribbled notes I don't need anymore."

"I don't like the way you said that. What do you-"

"Oh, thank goodness!"

I straightened from signing the documents after finishing the last one to find Peggy coming through the doors into the bullpen, looking slightly more frazzled than usual. She shook her head at me as she approached, dropping her stuff at the base of the desk and putting her hands on her hips.

"I thought I'd missed you. I can't believe you were planning to just duck in and duck out this morning. What were you planning to do if Thompson hadn't called me to tell me when you were coming in? Just leave for Los Angeles without a goodbye?"

"Actually, Daniel and I were planning to invite the two of you to dinner tonight for a real goodbye. I'm just trying to avoid causing a scene in the middle of the bullpen, in the middle of the SSR's workday."

Peggy and Jack both scoffed, the sounds eerily similar. I raised an eyebrow, but Jack leaned in and snatched the papers off my desk before I could comment.

"Alright, I'm gonna go process these since you don't want to hang around here. By the time you're done with your desk, I'll be done with these."

I nodded, watching Jack's back as he headed back into his office. As soon as he disappeared through the doorway, I turned back to Peggy.

"I need you to get him out of his office for, like, five minutes between when I finish cleaning out my desk and when I head out of here. I'm gonna put all the papers and stuff I don't need in his desk."

Peggy grinned. "I'll make sure you have the window of opportunity you need."

"I knew I could count on you."

We snuck a high-five before Jack could notice, then I headed over my desk to start the packing process in earnest. There really wasn't much I needed to get, since I'd brought most of the things I needed with me to LA the first time, but a handful of the things I'd collected found a temporary home in my bag. Even better, the stack of trash I was planning to stick in Jack's office was substantial, and just like Peggy'd promised, she dragged Jack away from his desk long enough to give me just the opening I needed.

I stepped out of his office and back into the bullpen after finishing my mission, and a moment later, Peggy and Jack came around the corner to join me. I smiled at the both of them.

"Desk's been cleared. Papers are done. I think... I'm officially all finished up here."

"You sure I'm not going to find some trash you forgot about when I try to put somebody else at your desk?" Jack asked, hands on his hips. I rolled my eyes and sighed, responding without missing a beat.

"Of course not, Jack. You're not going to find any forgotten trash in my desk. Come on."

All true, technically. Peggy grinned at me, but I managed to keep a straight face as Jack put his hands on his hips and sighed.

"...I guess this is it, then, huh?"

"I guess it is."

I sighed, looking around at the empty bullpen one last time. I hadn't been working out of this office for a while now, and it's not like I'd never be back. But something about having my desk packed, ready to head out the door with the last of my roots pulled up still hit me a bit.

"I'm... gonna miss you guys," I said, shaking my head as I turned back to my two friends. Jack rolled his eyes, since we'd already exhausted his reserve of sincerity for the day, but Peggy gave me a soft smile.

"We'll miss you too. And you can expect regular visits from us in the winter, when we're sick of the snow and need to use our friends for access to the sunshine in Los Angeles."

I grinned. "As long as you promise to bring real pizza with you whenever you visit."

"Deal."

We shared a smile, and thankfully, before any of us could get any sappier, Daniel walked through the door, his meeting with his contact apparently over with.

"Hey," he said, giviing me a smile as he walked over to join us. He leaned in to give me a quick kiss, then pulled back with a smile. "You ready to go? Our favorite breakfast place is waiting for us."

I smiled, then gave Daniel a nod. We were technically on vacation, so we'd planned to spend the rest of our day on a tour of all of our favorite places in New York city.

"We'll see you guys for dinner tonight, right?" Daniel asked as he took my hand, the two of us taking a few steps towards the door.

"As long as you're buying," called Jack, and Peggy nodded. Daniel shot him a thumbs up as I rolled my eyes, and just like that, Daniel and I were standing on the threshold of the New York SSR.

"You ready?" Daniel asked, leaning in to whisper to me. I took a deep breath, sparing one last moment of reminiscing for the place I'd spent so much of my life in over the last few years, then turned to Daniel with a smile.

"Yeah. I'm ready."

He smiled back at me, giving my hand a quick squeeze before we turned our backs on the office, officially and completely moving forward together. It still stung a little to be leaving, but not nearly as badly as it could've, since I knew and loved where I was heading.

****************

Everything Taglist: @rosecentury @kmc1989 @space-helen

Marvel Taglist: @valkyriepirate @infinetlyforgotten @sagesmelts @gaychaosgremlin

[goldenblu]

hold your fire (by the throat) - chapter 3

One Piece | Zosan | Post-Wano AU where Sanji slowly loses his emotions

Chapter 3: the currents of your laughter

The cook’s voice stops him in his tracks. “Where the hell do you think you’re going, mosshead?”

Preview:

When Zoro next opens his eye, they’ve docked already. He stands, stretches, walks over to where most of the crew are standing by the gangplank. Does a mental count. “Where’s Luffy?”

“Went on ahead, as usual,” Nami says, sounding annoyed. “I sent Chopper and Brook after him. Hopefully they can keep him out of trouble. Sanji, do you still need an allowance for your groceries?”

Sanji looks up from where he’s piling equipment into a small rowboat, and Zoro spares a moment in an attempt to figure out what he’s doing. Probably more stupid love-cook things. “Not at the moment, Nami-san. This bay looks like it’s full of shellfish, so I’ll go diving for food before doing any shopping. It’ll save us some berry.”

Quickly losing interest, Zoro tunes out whatever Nami says in reply and starts heading down the gangplank. Maybe he can buy some more booze in town. The cook’s been getting better and better at hiding his alcohol supply; it’d be impressive if it wasn’t so exceedingly infuriating.

Said cook’s voice stops him in his tracks. “Where the hell do you think you’re going, mosshead?” 

Zoro jerks his thumb at the shoreline. “What does it fucking look like? I’m getting off the ship.”

“Not by yourself you’re not, you directionless idiot. Go with the beautiful ladies and Usopp. I’m not in the mood to have to track your sorry ass down later.” 

As if he would ever need the cook to track him down. What’s he gonna do, get lost? “I’m not a fucking child, shitty dartbrow!” 

At the same time, Robin, Usopp, and Nami all exchange glances. Then Robin says, “Ah, we were thinking of finding a bookstore in town. I don’t think that’s really your style, Zoro.”

Sanji shrugs. “Guess you’re on ship duty, then.”

“Nah, Jinbe and I have got the ship handled.” Franky waves him off. “Go and look around if you want.”

“Why don’t you take him with you, Sanji?” Usopp suggests innocently. 

Zoro squints suspiciously at him, and then Robin. They’re acting weirder than normal. The fuck is up with them?

“Fuck no, I’m not his damn babysitter,” Sanji scoffs.

The goddamn nerve. Zoro scowls. “I don’t need a babysitter, I can go on my own.” 

He starts making his way off the ship, only to be pulled back sharply by the collar of his shirt. “What the fuck? Let me go!”

The cook shoves him in the direction of the rowboat with a resigned sigh. “You’re not giving me a choice, huh?”

“Hah? I should be saying that to you!” Zoro shouts, shoving him right back. He’s not getting on a tiny fucking boat with the cook. He’s not.

“Stop acting so grumpy about it when you’re the one inconveniencing me. Just get on the shitty boat.”

Zoro’s scathing response is interrupted when Nami calls out, “Have fun, boys!” 

“Enjoy your day, Nami-swan, Robin-chwan! I’ll have dinner ready for you lovely angels by the time you get ba—Ow, shitty mosshead, stop that!”

After much struggle, Sanji finally succeeds in forcing Zoro into the boat, much to his chagrin. Although if he maybe wasn’t fighting back as hard as he could have, no one needs to know.  “We’ll be back in an hour or two,” Sanji says to Franky, picking up two paddles and holding one out to Zoro. 

“This was your idea, you do the rowing.” Zoro crosses his arms and is promptly smacked upside the head with the paddle.

“What good are those stupid muscles of yours if you don’t use them?” 

“At least I have muscle, shit cook,” Zoro retorts, though he does take the paddle.

On the Sunny, Jinbe listens bemusedly to the sound of their bickering fading out as the boat slowly moves away. “Those two are certainly something else, aren’t they. I can’t say I quite understand their relationship.”

“It’s best not to get between them.” Franky pats him on the shoulder sympathetically. “Believe me, you don’t want to know.”

(continue on AO3)

[aidaronan]

✨Fic Writing Review 2023✨

Tagged by the incomparable @greatunironic and my beloved @wynnyfryd.

Words and Fics

58, 889 words published on ao3

Plus at least 14,975 or so words of unpublished things that are started and incomplete.

At least 30 new ideas and/or WIPs.

8 published fics on ao3 + some new additions to the drabble/ficlet collection + many tumblr fics/microfics

One completed collab with @sparkle-fiend and one collab (two really) with @sparklyslug in the works

Two monsterfucker fics influenced by the Steddie FanExpo NoLa crew and getting crossfaded as fuck in the French Quarter after meeting Guiseppe Quintilliano.

Top 3 by kudos

Cassiopeia, Orion, Bootes (aka he was a gator boi) Like I Always Do (post-starcourt hurt comfort) Nothing Hurts (Like Your Mouth) (oops! all monsters. vamp eddie and were steve banging in a mausoleum)

Fandom Events in 2023

Lex's Spicy Six Spring Fanworks Challenge

Multiple @steddiemicrofic challenges: read here.

Upcoming Projects

Two Stranger Things Reverse Big Bang fics. Hilariously, neither of them are Steddie as the main pairing, but I think at least one is likely to hit novella length. I can't say a lot due to secrecy, but I feel safe saying one is a gen fic and one is f/f.

One tiny baker!steve/rockstar!eddie collab with @sparklyslug, hopefully out this holiday season.

One bigger collab with @sparklyslug in the spring if we keep our enthusiasm together long enough.

Will keep trying to plug away at the witches fic. I have, admittedly, lost some enthusiasm for them but I do know where the story is going. If you love this one, please be loud at me but in a non-demanding way lmao. I need you.

Two Fandom Trumps Hate fills of at least 10k for @withacapitalp and my dearest, Andi.

Eddie Bio project.

???Who Knows??? But there will probably be monstercock involved.

Some personal chat, rules, and tags under the cut.

Doing some oversharing because I'm starting to think it's vital that we all are honest about our struggles so we don't feel alone and so we know we're not failures. We're just people.

It's been a low production year for me. It's been a difficult year in general, but sometimes change is hard even when it's change you need.

Over half my year was eaten up with job hunting, moving, and trying to adjust while feeling the depressive effects of not having a local friend/support network yet or enough money for whatever the fuck the economy is, esp in this area relative to my salary. A good deal of my body of works for 2023 were written pre-move. Hell, a good deal of them were written in the first quarter. (Which, btw, shout out to anyone else who often feels a bittersweet sort of regret at not being productive in the current internet environment where you feel like you're old news if you can't keep up an unsustainable output. I love you, same, it's prob not true anyway, and here are 200 forehead kisses. <33) All of that said, I'm feeling much better lately. I've been reading again. Writing again. Feeling like I'm living again. I'm looking forward to another arbitrary border of time and on filling that border with joy, especially queer joy and weird joy and the intersection of both of those. As they say: let's fucking gooo.

I still love it here. I know steddie won't be forever for me, just like other ships before them weren't forever for me. But I'm having fun and have been really enjoying some of the connections made in this little sandbox.

On that note:

Rules: Feel free to show whatever stats you have. Only want to show Ao3 stats? Rock on. Want to include some quantitative info instead of stats? Please do this. Want to change how yours is presented? Absolutely do that. Would rather eat glass than do this? Please do eat glass, I’ve heard it’s good for your gums. Tagging, even though I know some people have already been tagged: @sparklyslug, @wormdebut, @banannabethchase, @just-my-latest-hyperfixation @messessentialist @rainbow-nerdss @plutosrose @thefreakandthehair and anyone else. @ everyone who keeps this fandom rippin' and roarin', kissing you, kissing you, kissing you

[solar-sunnyside-up]

hey, something i've been struggling with recently is i've been struggling with "finding my people" because i'm a minority in my hometown, and a lot of people... aren't. they don't understand me, and often when i try to get them to understand they seem like they fall back into the old systems they were traumatized with (elitism, classism ect.,). 1/2 -solidarity anon

Im gunna say this at the top, this is so rough and im so sorry you gotta go through this sweetie. We are so isolated and filtered into categories within our current system in order to keep that isolation and to fight solidarity and unity. Now I cannot know for 100% sure what your going through or the extend your suffering. But will say I am from and currently still live in a oil loving, god fearing, anti-LGBT, and very racist city while i was raised wiccan by a poly core family and all my gay aunts/uncles and have been dreaming of an earthship my whole life plus every summer id be stuck in an even more harsh farming community that was so small they gotntheir first street light when i was 9 and the chruch is also town hall (mayor works in a wing off of the building). So there is at least some overlap in the experiences your having.

But that being said, how I got weirdly connected to people and involved in so many projects and stuff might not work for you.

Personally? I just yelled and yelled about the injustice of the system at work, about cool forestry projects and people buying ghost towns to start up Co-loving villages. Sharing discworld and different philosophers with coworkers backed up by their fave hobby. About how terrible the conservative politics are. About how cool transit could be if we funded it. About community art projects and how cool solar glass would make things look. About drags shows and events and did you know there is A SOUP FESTIVAL? I'm autistic and have only really interacted my whole childhood with friends with ADHD so my brain is weird and won't shut up once it starts going.

As a result of my ramblings, I have gotten a lot of responses mostly ones that are positive since if they didn't agree with my absurdist philosophy ramblings or solar project ideas they'd just leave the coffee shop. If they enjoyed it, say they want to join a community garden/event or if someone was as stoked as I was about again UNLIMITED TASTINGS SOUP FESTIVAL than we'd chat about that. The thing is a lot of these things have overlap. Someone who wants to convert their lawn into a pollinators habitate prob also likes little libraries and as a result prob also likes the idea of dark sky street lights. And down the rabbit hole you go.

That being said... my best actual advice is 2 pronged.

RESEARCH and REACH OUT

I personally have done years worth of research on my city. What local events and politics are happening? Even in rural places there is at least garderns, there's engineers, there's usually a LGBT focused club. And from these spaces, you can build a network. Doing research I found out about 5 different organizations in my city (most of which was founded 40 yrs ago??) That where sustainability focused. Doing research made me realize how cool community associations could be and how I could help mine out. It also gives you all those ideas for convos.

Second, I reached out to those groups about weird ideas I had, about if I could hang up posters for them in my local area, if I could buy groups worth of tickets in advance, and than also reaching out to the ppl I already talked to and had these ppl interact. My fave example of this is T. T is an engineer who built a fully functioning solar car during his degree program but specializes in hydroponics (how we ended up talking was over plants) he than gets shown my fave farm near by and now he's building the farms hydro system and Seedling house. Writing in to newsletter ppl and showing off weird layout design. This is ultimately very anxiety indusing. What if I'm bothering them? Why should I be spamming them like this? But the secret here is-

No one will ever be mad about you showing interest in their interest once you find those ppl. They want the interaction just as much as you do.

[fraudulent-cheese]

OK OK OK SO MY BRAIN HAS BEEN GOING INSANE ABOUT AMICUS CURIAE SO I NEED TO RAMBLE ABOUT IT!!!!

Spoilers for the fic under the cut (duh), link to read it is here, goooo do that!!!

OK SO. The main conflict am i right

Right now we are in a fluff sweet spot where most of the teams are on friendly terms and the main 6 aren't in conflict. However considering what the author has posted to their TD blog recently, it's definitly not staying that way.

Hell even in the current chapters it's probably not staying that way, considering Courtney's 100% caught on that there's something going on between Noah and Alejandro, and in return Alejandro's detected Courtney's crush for Emma.

So yeah! Im predicting that's gonna be the cause of the big rift that happends between the best friends; both of their feelings are going to get in the way of the win eventually in a big way. Maybe Courtney will get distracted by Emma or Alejandro's going to try to keep the Pros in the game in a way that handicaps the Best Friends for the challenge, and it'll blow up in their face, and past events are gonna be brought up and they're gonna get HURT.

I think Courtney's main reasons for being annoyed at Alejandro and Noah's friendship (outside of Courtney would like to win thanks) is her wanting Alejandro to not get hurt; Noah's already betrayed him (from his perspective), she wouldn't want him getting stabbed in the back again. I dout he'd do that, but Courtney doesn't know that!

Also whenever she'll figure out it's romantic, she's certaintly going to discourage Alejandro to go for it during the show. Dating on Reality TV is not a good idea, they both have negative experiences with it, Courtney especially. Neither would want to go through that again, so conflict arising from it makes sense.

Also also, Courtney might be afraid of losing Alejandro,,, she's lost friends due to relationship drama in the past, hell she's still struggling with the after-effects of her trust being broken so many times. So seeing Alejandro be genuine with someone else? Yeah she's not gonna react well. Im basing this off the line "Alejandro's supposed to only be genuine with her" Because it says ALOT. To me.

This is 100% aromantic projection hour but Societytm constantly pushes romantic relationships as more important than platonic ones, an impression reinforced in media and especially tabloids - Courtney and Alejandro have already been mistaken for a couple in this fic by one of the main characters due to their closeness - so i wouldn't be shocked if either had internalised this and fears losing their one actual friend because they're crushing on someone else.

I don't think Alejandro's expressed much derision for Courtney's crush on Emma yet? So im not sure the conflict on his end would come from that. I think his main issue is trying to push himself too much out of a sense of obligation to be performing at his best all the time (especially now at the final 8 teams and non elimination rounds being pretty random so far) + his guilt over previous performances in challenges. It's 100% going to bite him or Courtney (because i dout she doesn't have similar over working tendencies) in the ass in a MAJOR way in an upcoming challenge. That and their respective competitiveness is probably gonna hurt them in a major way.

FINAL NOTE: I have no fucking clue how this can happen if the final POV's not Courtney but it would be so fucking cool if the closing lines of Amicus Curiae were a parallel to the "This is a terrible idea" that Courtney kept repeating in chapter 1, you know bring it full circle and stuff.

God this post is long

[sincerely-sofie]

Check-in for 01/28/24

It's been a while since I did one of these. Time to remedy that!

I've been doing well in my assignments, but due to some registration issues at the start of the semester I was unable to sign up for any web development or programming classes :< It's nice to take a break, but I'm really worried about getting stagnant in those skills, and maybe even losing what I've learned over time.

This is where a couple of new projects come in: A blorbo database and a tool for drawing pokemon from memory. These things are going to keep me avoid stagnancy and help me develop my web dev and Python programming skills, and I'm real excited to talk about them.

First up, let's talk about that tool for drawing pokemon from memory. I love drawing pokemon from memory, but it's a bit of a struggle to find tools online that work well for a solo experience when you're doing this challenge alone. So I made a program in PyGame to solve this problem, and I've actually already completed it! It was a great learning experience when it came to getting a taste of APIs, and PokeAPI really helped me do all the heavy lifting with it. I also ended up using ChatGPT to help me understand how to phrase my questions and the things I needed to research. This is the end result:

If you click "Get Random Pokemon", the program will provide a pokemon's name. The point of it is to draw the pokemon as best as you remember it, and then click "Show Pokemon Image" to see how you did. You will then have the option to get a new random pokemon, which clears the image from the window.

There's a lot of stuff I don't understand about how the program works--- APIs evade my understanding, and Tkinter is a dark art beyond my comprehension. But I was able to make a program that solved a genuine problem for me for the first time, and that's super exciting to me!

Now, for web development--- long story short, I'm making a website dedicated to cataloguing my OCs that's very much inspired by tumblr user @snekkerdoodles's personal site on neocities, which I regularly stare at in an effort to motivate myself to make cool things like it (everyone reading this should check his page out IMMEDIATELY and tell him how cool it is). Here's the screenshots of the WIP I'm chipping away at right now:

I don't have much to say about it, as the interesting stuff will really be the content of the pages, and I still have yet to finish the template page I'll be filling with my OCs' information. However, I can say that I'm very upset with the lack of proper teaching that took place in the first (and currently only) college web dev class I've taken. I spent an entire semester doing my own research to learn everything they were supposed to be teaching us. I'm still very peeved about that.

To summarize this very rambling post I'm too sleepy to edit properly, I'm making a digital blorbo encyclopedia, and I finished making a little desktop app thingy, which means I need to summon a new programming project. I'm tempted to make it a video game... maybe I should turn back to that visual novel idea I had ages ago and boot up RenPy!

[silkling]

Not to be that person, but you've been quiet and haven't posted anything here or ao3 for some time now, is everything alright?

Hi! Don't worry, you're not being "that person"! I'm sorry to have worried you! I've just been really busy with university! This semester has been especially busy for me! But the good news is that I am working on some updates! "Of Finding Family" is my current project, and I'm struggling with how to make the thing I want to happen actually happen. But! I have the outline of the rest of the story mapped out, it's just figuring out the fiddly bits of how to get from point A to point B, so to speak. After "Of Finding Family", I'm hoping that the inspiration from that will carry me to "Watermarked by Your Ancestry"! I hit a major roadblock with that project just after I last updated and have been struggling since, but my hope is that the success of finishing "Of Finding Family" will give me the boost I need to get over that particular hurdle.

As for Tumblr....yeah. I stopped posting my fics here because they never get much engagement. Now don't get me wrong, I don't write just for the engagement of the audience, but that interaction with readers is what motivates me to actually post, y'know? Sure, I daydream the ideas and write them for fun mostly for myself, but when I post them it's a lot of work to take it from messy daydream brain-vomited onto a page, to the actual finished product. And the interaction and feedback from my audience is what makes me want to put in that extra effort. I get a lot more of that on Ao3 (And I promise, even if I don't respond to most comments out of me just straight up overthinking myself into stress, every single one makes me super happy)

To that effect, I've honestly been considering just. Shifting the focus of my Tumblr. Maybe using it to post general TF thoughts, headcanons, blot bunnies, theories, fic updates....that sort of thing. But idk. Just a thing for me to consider.

Also, more good news I've joined this year's Reverse Mini Bang, and if this year is anything like last year's Big Bang, I'll probably overshoot the minimun word requirement again. So, that's one more big(ish) project you can look forward to! (Even if the posting period is a bit of a ways off)

All in all, I have a handful of projects planned! I will do my best to update "Of Finding Family" soon, but I can't promise anything. At the very least, I'll have a lot more free time as summer hits, so at least there's that.

And finally...I want to say thank you. Real life's been keeping me busy, but I felt like I had to respond to your message. It's honestly super touching to know that people like me and what I do enough to notice that I disappeared for a little. So...thank you. :D

[copperbadge]

Sam, I say this with love, exasperation, and admiration: I have no idea how you write so much. I'm in the middle of a long-overdue update of backing up my favorite fics to my hard drive, and your fic archive is basically a mini-project in itself!

LOL! I had this conversation with myself when I moved all my fanfic over to AO3. By hand. From Livejournal. :D I think it's mainly that I was undiagnosed with ADHD while being either understimulated in school or underutilized in my job. I think it's indicative of how my priorities have shifted as I've gotten older, that I haven't really written much fanfic in years, and in general my words-per-year output has dropped quite a bit.

Prior to 2019, it was a rare year I posted less than 150K words and some years I posted over 400K. It was almost always fanfic, because the first few novels were posted to Livejournal, not AO3, and I didn't move them when I moved over all my fanfic. I was in grad school, which was not demanding for me, and then I was in a series of jobs where I began with large amounts of downtime, then slowly had less and less as I gained more responsibility. Up until 2019, when my former office just disintegrated and I changed jobs.

So the output in those earlier years was this balance of struggling to keep myself entertained, having the time to engage with a time-intensive coping mechanism, and processing hyperfixation. It still feels weird to describe myself as having hyperfixations, because that's not how I've ever thought of my own mental processes; I have a specific mental definition of hyperfixation under which I do not fall, but I'm beginning to realize that definition is inaccurately narrow. Given my duration in a fandom is almost always two years on a predictable cycle, I can't really refute the idea that I develop and process hyperfixations like a lot of neurodiverse people do. (Marvel is an outlier in that the canon is massive and much more widely disbursed than most -- even so you can kinda see me move through characters within Marvel on two-year cycles.)

In 2019 my wordcount dropped dramatically, and in 2020 most of what I posted was original fiction I actually wrote in 2019. So I didn't post much in 2020 and didn't post anything at all in 2021, which was shocking to me when I realized it. This past year, 2022, is the first year I've bounced up, posting 246K words, but it's mostly been original work. I rarely engage in meta anymore, and currently don't really have an active fandom that I write or talk about. Looked at on paper, I haven't truly been in fandom in about four years. It's fortunate that fandom is a culture -- it's not something you leave or are expelled from just because you stop participating in some aspects of it. There is no way for me to truly leave fandom now even if I wanted to, short of leaving social media altogether, which I have zero plans on doing.

This all got very deep from a pretty simple ask about my formerly prodigious output, but it was fun to go look up my AO3 stats and engage in a little self-reflection.

[songsformonkeys]

Saying I love you through a movie (Javi G x Bodyguard!reader)

Month: April

Word count: ~2800

Warnings: Spoilers for a movie that came out in 1992

Notes: Javi takes his bodyguard camping and tries to express his feelings through a movie. Part of the Bodyguard!verse. Find the rest of it on my masterlist

Beta read by my wonderful @yespolkadotkitty <3

The rest of the Year of Creation stories

@yearofcreation2023

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You really should have seen this coming.

Javi had brought up the idea of going on a camping trip a few weeks back – during a screening of The Blair Witch Project, that you very much regretted having agreed to – and you'd barely let him finish the sentence before telling him: ”No! Absolutely not!”

It wasn't even primarily about the movie, although you couldn't say that it inspired the same desire in you to venture into the woods as it apparently had in your boss. There was just no way you would let Javi stay in a flimsy fabric tent in the middle of nowhere and pretend that you had any chance in Hell of keeping him safe.

Javi had protested, because of course he had. He'd tried to persuade you using both his patented puppy eyes and sad sighing. But against all odds – perhaps aided by the horrified screams from the movie in the background – you had held your ground. Few things sounded less tempting than a massacre in the woods.

The fact that Javi had actually given up soon after, with nothing but a dejected sigh, really should have given you pause.

But you had pridefully chalked it up to the firmness of your voice having been able to inspire some extra sense of respect for authority in Javi. Even if he had an arsenal of tricks to try and convince you to let him do things he wanted to, he always listened to you when it actually mattered.

Except for when it came to camping trips, apparently.

The deception was revealed weeks later when Javi had asked to go for a walk in the garden after dinner. That in itself wasn't anything unusual. Javi often asked you to join him on his evening strolls. It was a sort of routine that had been going on for months now. Javi said the fresh air helped him think and work through whatever creative hurdle he was currently struggling with.

He used you as a sounding board for his thoughts and ideas, though your participation was a very passive one. You weren't educated enough in the field to actually give any useful creative advice, so mostly you just listened. But Javi always thanked you at the end of the walks, as if your contribution had been invaluable.

And with all this in mind, you didn't find it particularly odd when Javi reached over with a tap to your bicep to get your attention and asked if you wanted to go with him.

It wasn't odd. The quick exchange of a look between your colleagues, however...

You were certain that you had seen them glance at each other, out of the corner of your eye, but when you turned to face them, there had been no trace of anything out of the ordinary. Just the usual easy-going conversation that always flowed around the dinner table in Javi's house.

Feeling somewhat paranoid and doubting yourself, you'd stood up to follow Javi outside. If you checked that your gun was properly holstered one extra time, you made sure to do it when you were out of sight from the others.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You spotted the baby blue atrocity beneath one of the stone walls well before Javi had the decency to confess to his crimes, and you almost grabbed him to pull him behind you, before it properly registered what it was that you were seeing. Then you stopped dead in your tracks and turned away from the tent to give Javi an outraged look.

In return, he gave you an innocently hopeful smile.

”Javi...” you said, voice halfway between disbelieving and weary.

”Hear me out,” Javi said quickly, holding his hands up as if surrendering, even if you realized he had no plans whatsoever to do just that. He never had. This much was becoming more and more evident as Javi looked like he was preparing to deliver a well-rehearsed speech.”You said no when I asked because it was not safe. This... this is safe.”

You opened your mouth to protest but Javi made a tsking noise and snapped his fingers like you were a dog. You would have gotten offended if your brain wasn't partially occupied with trying to figure out how the Hell Javi had managed to orchestrate this whole thing without you knowing. He was usually an open book and it was quite frankly a bit concerning that he had managed to pull a fast one on you like this.

Javi's next words pulled you back to the here and now.

”The others have promised to watch the garden all night. There are so many cameras. I would not be safer in my bed.”

The others...

You didn't say anything. Technically, Javi was probably correct. But recruiting the others to help trick you was still a low blow and not something you approved of at all.

Javi looked at you with pleading eyes.

”Please,” he told you. ”I've never been camping. I just wanted to go, this one time.”

In the end, it was the please that did it. Every fucking time...

You fished your cell phone out of your pocket, hitting speed dial. It only rang once before Manolo picked up.

”I want an extra security sweep of the garden,” you told him, ignoring the surprised laugh from Javi in the background. ”And I want all the motion sensors switched on, and there better be two eyes glued to the feed until we're back in the house in the morning.”

”You got it, boss!” came the reply and you could hear the bastard smirk. You let out a steadying breath through your nose.

”Oh, and Manolo,” you said. “Fuck you!”

There was laughter on the other end of the line when you hung up.

Looking up, you were met with the brightest grin, and something inside you did a weird somersault.

”Come on,” you told him, voice softening, but still adding an empty threat: ”Before I change my mind.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The tent Javi had bought was nothing too flashy, but big enough for two people to be able to sleep without twisting themselves into pretzels, which was a point in its favor.

When Javi crawled inside, you noticed two backpacks – one looking suspiciously like your own – and two thick sleeping bags, along with a pile of pillows and blankets. Thankfully, all of them sans the face of Nicolas Cage. No tent would be big enough to share with that face. The pillow you had been gifted when you started working for Javi still haunted you from the deepest part of your closet. It was only out of consideration for Javi's feelings that it hadn't been burnt.

All in all, the tent looked very comfortable. You were by no means a stranger to spending nights in a tent or sleeping on the ground, and this looked to be as close to cozy as you would get while sleeping outdoors.

It quickly became clear that while you were more than happy with the level of comfort of this sleeping arrangement, the same could not be said for Mr. Javi Gutierrez.

Since you had entered the tent, you didn't think he'd been still for more than a couple of seconds. He was tossing and turning on his side of the tent, huffing out annoyed breaths when no position seemed to offer the comfort he wanted.

”There are perfectly good beds in the house,” you eventually suggested.

”No,” Javi replied stubbornly. ”I just...” He moved again.

You decided to take pity on him, even though he had very much brought this on himself.

”Here, let me...” you said, waving a hand at him. ”Roll up against the wall.”

Javi did as he was told and you pushed your sleeping bag over to his side for extra padding. You wouldn't be using it anyway, because the maniac next to you had brought sleeping bags fit for Arctic climate to a camping trip in Mallorca in April. You'd boil alive sleeping inside one of those. The heap of blankets Javi had also brought would be more than enough to keep you warm through the night.

”Better?” you asked when Javi rolled back onto the now two sleeping bags.

”Won't you need it?” Javi asked, actually sounding concerned, which made you want to reach over to smooth out the furrow that had formed between his eyebrows.

”I've slept in far worse places,” you assured him. ”This is fine.”

Javi didn't look entirely pleased with that answer but he seemed to decide to let it slide, for now.

”You want to watch a movie?” he suggested instead and the tone with which he asked piqued your interest. There was a note of nervousness, which was unusual when Javi spoke about movies.

”Sure,” you said, raising an eyebrow in question.

Javi didn't provide any further details, just nodded and brought out his iPad. Seeming to avoid your gaze, he started tapping away at the screen, and you decided that whatever he was up to, it most likely wouldn't result in any actual danger. Worst case, you were in for another horror movie. 

So while Javi decided on which movie he wanted to watch, you let your head fall back against your pillow and brought up your phone to check in with the house.

Less than ten seconds after you had sent the message, Manolo replied and gave the all-clear, along with a request to please relax and just enjoy having the evening off.

During the exchange, Javi had finished setting up the movie. Rolling over to face him, you realized too late that with the iPad propped up against Javi's backpack like that, there was only one way to arrange yourselves for both of you to be able to see the screen.

You were proven correct a moment later when Javi laid down and scooted back a little, effectively turning himself into the little spoon in front of you. You tensed up, and Javi must have noticed because he asked ”Is this okay?” with his feet bumping nervously against yours. And you wanted to tell him ”No” because nothing about this situation was technically okay, considering he was in fact your boss.

Instead, you heard your traitorous mouth answer the question with a slightly hoarse ”Yeah. It's fine.”

That seemed to relax Javi at least. Not you.

You were suddenly acutely aware of your arm and where to put it. It was balancing awkwardly on your own thigh, a safe distance from where the soft blue fabric of Javi's shirt dipped slightly at his waist.

When Javi started the movie, you were too preoccupied with the proximity of your bodies to immediately register just which movie that was.

The name Kevin Costner appeared on screen and there was something at the back of your mind, some vague sort of recognition. It clicked when his name was closely followed by Whitney Houston's.

The Bodyguard. You were about to watch The Bodyguard.

Closing your eyes, you held back the sigh before it could pass between your lips. Javi would notice. And he would say something about it. Something you wouldn't know how to reply to. It would be better if you pretend not to notice. If you just watched the movie in silence, ignoring any and all similarities to your real lives.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You envied Frank Farmer with an unflattering intensity that might have left your cheeks with a faint tint of green. Along with it came a bitter feeling that – if you were perfectly honest – was just as much aimed at yourself as the fictional character on the small screen in front of you.

Logically, you were fully aware that what you were watching was nothing but a Hollywood spectacle, a series of events where someone had already decided on a satisfying enough ending to justify the journey and the events that led up to it, a story where even the mistakes served a purpose and no fuck up was big enough to cause irreparable damage.

Still, you both envied and resented Frank for how easily he seemed to give in to the flirtations of the person he was supposed to keep safe and alive. Especially, when it took every fiber of your being to stop yourself from doing just the same, to stop yourself leaning forward to brush your lips over the tanned skin just below the curls at the nape of Javi's neck.

It would be the easiest thing and the hardest thing in the world at once. Not because you were worried Javi would push you away, but because you knew that he wouldn’t. And the two of you didn't have the Hollywood assurance that everything would turn out OK in the end, didn't have the guarantee that giving into months' worth of developing feelings wouldn't be just the thing that – maybe not today or tomorrow, but some day – caused the death of the gentle man in front of you that, against all odds, had taken a liking to you as well.

You were hired to protect, and in Javi's case, it had turned out that meant to protect him both from external threats but also from himself and his bleeding heart.

So when Javi shifted to move even closer, you put your hand at his waist, not to pull him in but to stop him.

”I'm not Kevin Costner,” you told him and Javi let out a sad chuckle.

”No,” he said, ”You're better.”

You agreed - even if better probably meant different things for you and Javi - and the limitations that came with being better pained you. You were better. You had to be.

Javi didn't say anything more after that. Not until the twist in the movie where it was revealed who had hired the hitman to kill Rachel.

”I can't believe someone would betray their family like that,” he whispered, as if not to interrupt what was happening on screen.

You didn't have the heart to tell him that you could absolutely believe it and that, if murder statistics were taken into consideration, the sister had been the most likely suspect right from the start. You'd seen it many times over, the things that people were willing to do to their supposed family. The fact that Javi couldn't even fathom such a thing as a possibility was a constant worry at the back of your mind. He was too trusting. Always too goddamn trusting!

The ending of the movie was, in your opinion, the most realistic thing about the whole story. Whatever the characters had didn't last. Of course, it didn't. It was nothing but a silly fantasy to think that it ever could. There were too many things besides feelings to take into consideration.

Whitney Houston sang about love and you wanted to break the iPad because Javi started singing along. It was quiet and out of tune but you heard every ”I love you” so clearly, and you knew it was not a coincidence.

Nails dug into your palms as you tightly clenched your hands into fists. Pain to distract yourself from the unbidden images of rolling Javi onto his back to...no!

You just needed to hold out a little longer, just until the song stopped and the end credits had finished rolling.

But Javi surprised you by reaching forward to turn off the iPad in the middle of the credits, when the last note of I Will Always Love You rang out. It was out of character and you realized that you had approximately 2 seconds to react before Javi did something you would both regret.

So you sat up.

”We should get some sleep,” you told him, pretending to look for something in your backpack. ”It's late.”

You waited until you heard Javi shifting back to his own side of the tent, and felt like a complete asshole.

Immensely grateful for the complete darkness of the tent, you laid back down, rolling over onto your side, facing away from Javi. You didn't want to see the rejection on his face, or worse, have him realize that the pain was mirrored on your own face as well.

It was better for him to stop trying and just let you protect him.

As if reading your mind, Javi spoke from the other side of the tent a few moments later, in the gentlest voice imaginable.

”You could do both. I know you could.”

You pretended not to have heard him but stared into the darkness long after you heard him fall asleep behind you.

[lasi-nariyoyoreads]

Baekhyun's personality according to tarots

I'm a little bit late but I still managed to post it around his bday!

Disclaimer:

My readings are made for fun and you should read them for fun too. So don't take them seriously. 

Core: 

rev hanged man

He’s very determined and driven.

You might even say stubborn.

He has a clear idea of what he wants and goes after it no matter what.

Even if others suggest him not to do something, even if common sense would be against him, he’d still do what he wants to.

He isn’t scared of sacrifice and hard-work.

I think you can say he has a clear picture in his mind of what he wants and works hard to achieve it.

Probably this might point to some lack of flexibility or the inability to deal with what is unexpected/unplanned.

He might be prone to stick to a routine or certain behaviors even if they're unhealthy, non-practical, inefficient etc.

How he sees himself:

All rev 3 of cups, 5 of swords, 5 of wands

He might see himself like not a very good friend? He might struggle to properly keep up with them. Or he might feel he's unworthy of their love because he can't spend enough time and energy on them. He feels like he broke many promises.

He feels he's good at compromising and he considers his ability to put himself back on his feet as a good quality of his.

Because of this, probably, he tends to be non-confrontational, it might be rare to see him fight with others.

He thinks he's in a constant state of disharmony and harmony with everything around him. His main job is to try to ease these struggles, he always works hard to create the most peaceful situation. He's sensitive to this sort of discomfort.

Maybe because he feels he isn't doing enough for his loved ones, he always wants to work harder and show a better side of him.

How others see him:

Rev 5 of swords, rev the fool, 8 of pentacles 

Others also appreciate him for his ability to ease conflict and to build a positive atmosphere.

They might think he's too reckless or literally too much of a fool. They might want him to be more rational or more mature? But they're observing him and are curious about his next moves.

8 of pentacles fits very well Baek's current situation, he's working on new projects and I feel the people around him are curious and are aware that he's super busy and is cooking a lot of things.

Some people might think he's making a wrong choice. Others have a more positive opinion and believe he'll be successful.

Positive traits:

10 of cups, page of swords, rev the chariot

He cares a lot about his family/friends or anyone close to him. Being part of his loved ones is such a blessing (funnily enough, he doesn't think he isn't a good friend, a good reminder that what we think of ourselves might not be true).

He likes to have family and friends around him, being famous and successful didn't make him arrogant or someone who forgets about the people who were with him before his success.

Lots of ideas, rational and patient. Quick-witted, probably learn easily and/or is always curious about what's new.

Probably he's curious about new people too, he likes getting to know others and see what they have to offer.

He has a lot of willpower, he fights for what he wants.

He has a very powerful energy, very driven.

Negative traits:

Rev queen of swords, rev queen of pentacles, justice

He might be too cold to those who disappointed him.

He might be chaotic and lack common sense.

It's possible he tends to compare himself to others and feel down if he thinks he isn't as good as them.

Justice can have several meanings in this case. Considering what I wrote earlier, he might be a literal judge of characters, if he lets you in it's great, but if he doesn't like you, it won't be fun.

It's possible he draws a stark line between his loved ones and everyone else. As much as he has to give to others, he's ready to take from.

Another interpretation is that he isn't that great at managing his own life. For example he might focus too much on certain aspects and neglect other aspects.